#at least u can live comfortably in other countries
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peaceeandcoolestvibes · 4 days ago
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LMFAOOOO
Madre mía y decían que en los años 70 ya se quedaron sin ideas,
Aún hay gente que idolatra a estos farsantes y se creen todo lo q les meten con colador 😂
Y esto de la luna podía colar, hoy en día todas las mentiras que cuentan las celebrities no 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 (relaciones inicio de la fama etc)
#n.a never lied tho#he said it never happened#these fucking Americans lmfao#always lying and making up ridiculous shit for attention basically#it’s a cultural thing imo#I mean I’ve known this for years but likeeeee it’s one lie after another#they talk about walls and shit and they are all immigrants#like their country is less than 1000 years old - the fuck are they talking about LMFAOOOO#most of us ignore them for the most part but the second hand embarrassment is real#Jim Carrey is ONE hell of an actor#hilarious dude lmao#AND THEYRE BUYING IT#😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂#lmao they go to the 🌕 once and now it’s not possible to go there bc ¿¿ they forgot how to ??? pls#America you’re boring as hell😳😳😳😳#they’re attention seeking folks tbh#and those Americans who can’t and don’t like they get harassed killed and so on#make it make sense 😳#I once dealt with a Canadian bitch and since then I make fun of Canada too#thank god I was not born there but my parents wanted to settle down there wHEW#add to the mix that bitch of trudeau who basically laughs at every Canadian#man we’re screwed lmao#fuck these politicians NAHSKASBSJA#I literally don’t like some people and I don’t pretend to ever hide it tbh#and France too like we’re so sick of these bitches in government#I hope **** *** ***#at least u can live comfortably in other countries#in Spain? LMAOOO#depends on ur profession u can live well but not too well#if u compare w the neighboring countries - it’s 20% of what u could have
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cutielando · 6 months ago
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FIC IDEA WITH LANDO: So reader recently moved to Monaco bc of her job (any remote job u want and content creater) anyways she is working at a café just to get some money and lando is a customer. He flirts with her and stuff and she writes her number on the cup without him noticing at the moment. The reader then like a week later mentions it to her friend and talks about how he did not respond yet and like what exactly happened not knowing her friend was on live and her fans get invested and call this mystery boy “café boy” (kind of like Alix Earle with nfl man) Then McLaren invites the reader to the paddock and lando sees her and then have like a talk together in his drivers room and he mentions how he was nervous to text or something. After she makes a soft launch post captioned “my café boy 🤎”. IF U DO IT PLEASE TAG ME!
my coffee boy | l.n.
synopsis: in which you met the love of your life when you least expected it
a/n: thank you so much @idkyet101sblog for the amazing idea 🤎
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yourusername my new home is pretty damn beautiful
📍Monte-Carlo, Monaco
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user1 mother is finally living her dream 😭
francisca.cgomes yayy!!!!!❤️❤️
yourusername ❤️❤️
yourbestfriend can’t believe you left me behind 🥲 JK I’M SO HAPPY FOR YOU ❤️❤️
yourusername i miss you already 😭😭❤️
user2 who is she?
user3 she’s a content creator and up-and-coming model🫶🏻 she makes a lot of F1 content since she is very good friends with Kika
user2 how come i’ve never heard of her until now?
user4 she’s only starting to become famous and accustomed to the public eye, maybe that’s why
yourmother so proud of you!!❤️❤️
yourusername love you mom!!!!
user5 if i don't grow up to be just like Y/N, i'm giving up
Real life
Moving to Monaco had always been your dream. Living in the beautiful country right on the water, starting a new life in such a peaceful place and being able to follow your dreams.
It had been your dream ever since you were a little girl.
However, moving to Monaco was in itself very pricey. It hadn’t been easy, gathering the money you needed to lead a relatively comfortable lifestyle in the exclusivist country, but you had managed to do so.
And now, you now had to step up a bit until things got going for you.
And you figured that working at the local coffee shop was the best solution. At least just until you got settled in your new home country and your career kicked in.
You knew that Monaco was the home to a lot of athletes, especially Formula 1 drivers, but you didn't really expect to meet any of them. Monaco was not really as small of a place as people thought, you wouldn't just run into an F1 driver in the street that casually.
No, you run into them at coffee shops.
You had been minding your own business one day, thankful that it was still early and people were not yet coming for coffee. But then the entrance bell rang, and your eyes met the most beautiful man you had ever laid eyes on.
The one and only, Lando Norris.
You didn't want to seem like an obsessed fan, so you tried to keep your excitement at bay the best you could.
"Hello" he greeted when he approached the counter, that famous smirk adorning his features.
"Hi. What can I get you?" you asked sweetly, praying to God that he wouldn't notice the furious blush on your cheeks.
"I'll just have a cappuccino, love" he asked, giving you a dazzling smile.
You blushed even more and nodded, getting to work on his drink.
He didn't say anything else for a second, he just watched and admired your movements as you effortlessly prepared his coffee.
"I haven't seen you around here before, and trust me. I would have remembered a face as beautiful as yours" Lando suddenly asked, leaning forward against the counter.
You almost did a double take, not wanting to get your hopes up. Was he actually flirting with you? Were you just dreaming?
You cleared your throat before you answered, which made Lando smile even more cockily.
"I just moved here a couple of days ago, got a job with a modelling agency and figured I would work for some extra money until the modelling gigs kick in" you explained, looking at his from the corner of your eye to see his wide eyes when you mentioned being a model.
"With a face as beautiful as yours, figured you were a model of some sort. Nobody would pass on someone as pretty as you"
You blushed again, thankful that the shop was almost empty and people couldn't see you falling apart just from talking to the man.
"Do you flirt with every barista you meet, Mr. Norris?" you teased, pouring the drink into a to-go cup.
"Just the insanely pretty ones"
You chuckled and shook your head, taking the sharpie in your hand to write his name on the cup. As soon as you wrote his name, your hand moved on its own, scribbling your phone number underneath and the message 'call me <3' next to it.
Biting your lip, you gave him the drink with a smile, biding your goodbyes.
"I'll see you around, Y/N" he said, looking at your name tag.
"Okay" was all you could say, your mind too fuzzy to come up with a better response.
He turned around just before he exited the cafe, winking at you before departing.
What the hell had just happened?
♡♡♡♡♡
Much to your disappointment, a couple of days had gone by without a single text from the driver.
You hadn't thought much of it, way too busy with unpacking and such to even think about your encounter. It was our friend who kept asking you about it, going out of her mind when you mentioned you had given your number to an F1 driver.
"Y/N, come here, you left me all alone" Samantha, your friend, called out for you from the living room.
You sighed, unwillingly getting out of your very comfortable position on your bed and walked into the living room.
Not even paying attention to what Samantha was doing, you fell on the couch face first, your sore limbs tired from the short walk from the bedroom to the living room.
"I was very comfortable in bed, thank you very much" you mumbled, but Samantha paid you no mind.
She knew how grumpy you got in the evenings, so she had learned to ignore your comments in such instances.
"Has he texted you yet?" she asked, making you glare at her.
"I don't know how many times you've already asked me that and how many times I've given you the exact same answer. No, he hasn't" you grumbled, hiding your face in your pillow.
Samantha hummed, casting a sneaky glance to her phone.
"But like what exactly happened?" she pressed, making you sigh.
"It's not that interesting of a story. He came in the coffee shop, ordered a drink, we flirted a little and then I wrote my number on his cup" you explained once again, and unbeknownst to you, your fans were going wild over the information they had just heard.
Samantha almost wanted to laugh when she saw the dozens of comments flooding in, calling Lando the "mysterious café boy" that hadn't texted you.
"If I were him, I would have texted you the minute I walked out" she defended, making you sigh.
"But you're not him. There are numerous reasons that could explain why he hasn't texted me, he's a busy guy, Samantha" you defended, getting up from the couch to head back to your bedroom, so done with the conversation.
Samantha waited until the door was closed before switching her attention back to her phone.
"And there you go, ladies and gentlemen. Our girl is finally finding love" she giggled, clapping her hands.
If only Lando would have the courage to make the first step.
♡♡♡♡♡
You had always been a fan of Formula 1, you got that from your father. He would always bring you with him to races when you were younger, and his love and admiration was passed onto you from a very young age.
However, you hadn't attended a race in a while, you hadn't had the opportunity or the time to go to one.
Until now.
McLaren had contacted you a couple of days before the Silverstone Grand Prix, inviting you as their VIP guest for the weekend. And who were you to refuse a weekend with the team of the guy you were crushing on?
That's how you found yourself walking towards the McLaren hospitality, bag clutched tightly in your hand as you approached the brightly papaya colored building.
Sighing with a smile on your face, you had just put your hand on the handle when the door opened from the inside and Lando stepped out, stopping in his tracks when he saw you in front of him.
The both of you froze, not knowing how to react. The first one to break the tension was Lando, who smiled at you widely.
"Hey, Y/N. Long time no see" he said, making you chuckle and nod.
"Yeah"
He nodded, and silence settled for a split second between the two of you before he spoke up.
"Look, I'm sorry I didn't text you. I saw your number, even saved it in my phone and was meaning to say something. I was just too nervous to screw things up, cause I really like you" he confessed, making your heartbeat quicken significantly.
Your eyes widened, and relief finally settled into your troubled mind. There had been so many thoughts and theories in your head about why he hadn't contacted you. Maybe you had misread the situation, maybe he wasn't interested, maybe he didn't see your number written next to his name, countless possibilities had been swirling around in your head.
But now, you were finally content. He was just nervous, bless his heart. If you were being fair, you would have been way too nervous to contact him if the roles had been reversed.
"Don't worry, it's okay" you reassured him, which made Lando feel better.
"I want to make it up to you. How about dinner tonight? My treat, I'll show you around the city" he suggested, his eyes full of hope.
You couldn't possibly deny him, so you found yourself nodding.
"Great" he smiled and leaned in to plant a kiss on your cheek before departing towards the garage.
You bit your lip, trying to suppress a smile.
He hadn't forgotten you after all.
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yourusername my café boy 🤎
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francisca.cgomes i’m so happy for you guys!!!❤️❤️
yourusername thank you babe!!!✨❤️
user1 who is that????
user2 i’m so jealous 🙂‍↕️🥲
pietrapilao ❤️
yourusername 🫶🏻
user3IS THAT LANDO?????
user4 why would you think it’s lando?
user5 some people saw him with someone at the race and think this is his girlfriend
maxfewtrell smooth
yourusername thanks 🙂‍↕️
user6 this is basically confirmation that’s Lando 😭
maxfewtrell don’t take my word for it, people
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genderfluid-insomniac · 7 months ago
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IDEA!!
riddle, ace, and malleus (separately) x fem!reader (u can make it gn!reader if you’d prefer tho!) where the reader is about to leave twisted wonderland but she’s clearly hesitating and then the character asks why they don’t just go, and reader tells them through tears that she loves him, and asks if he feels the same n that if he does that will be the only reason she needs to stay. he does and she runs into his arms immediately. so a little bit of angst but ends with cute comfort. if this is unclear at all PLS LMK and i will clear it up!! brain is rotted atm bc i finished the worst essay of my life a little bit ago
Riddle, Ace, and Malleus (separately) x fem!reader who’s hesitant to go back home because of their crush
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Riddle
You were looking at the mirror in front of you the hazy outline of the world you know and turning back to see Grim trying to wipe the tears from his eyes. He’d tried several times to stop you like rallying the ghosts in ramshackle to help him or using his fire magic in the least destructive way he could or moving all the furniture to block the door.
Ace and Deuce nor Epel, Jack, or Ortho didn’t want to force you to stay since you’d tried so hard to find a way to get home and now you had. It was right in front of you but you couldn’t bring yourself to take a step forward. Your heart refused to budge and rooted itself despite your mind's logical reasoning. It pushed the one reason you had been trying to ignore out to the front of your mind.
Tears brimmed your eyes and you did your best to blink them away to no avail, using your hands to wipe them and felt them fall down your cheeks. You sniffled at the thought of never getting to see your crush again. Someone who you’d loved with all your heart and who helped you through all the trials and terrors that you’d experienced since you arrived in Twisted Wonderland.
You held your bag by your side and stared at the silver shining mirror that glowed signaling that its destination was fixed to the location the user wanted. Your home or rather somewhere close to your home as Crowley couldn’t exactly get the mirror to transport you to your country and reluctantly let Ortho and Idia help so its arrival destination was a lot closer.
Behind you were your friends along with your crush the dorm leader of Heartslayble Riddle and they watched bittersweetly as you walked closer to the mirror. In front of you was the hazy view of a city near where you lived and you were supposed to feel ecstatic that you could finally go home, and see your parents, and your friends but you didn’t. Ever since you stepped foot in Twisted Wonderland you felt like an alien but over time it began to be your home and one person held your heart through all your time here.
You loved Riddle dearly and after his overblot, you were there for him much to his confusion since he was horrible to you and the others but you relented. Riddle has grown so much from his freshmen year and saw nearly every day now, walking between classes or hanging out in Heartslayble and helping him paint the roses red or tending to the hedgehogs. The way he talked to the hedgehogs or flamingos was adorable and it was always impressive when an Unbirthday party was being set up and he was in his formal uniform staff in hand ordering people where each dessert went. In your hand was a specially made strawberry tart for you with a queen of hearts card sticking out of it and a fondant miniature hedgehog in front.
When Riddle tutored you because you needed help with some of your classes you sometimes tried to make the sessions last as long as they could since Riddle had such a strict schedule you would practically have to schedule or make an appointment his free time. Riddle of course upheld the rules for everybody even including you but he would sometimes bend them because your pout was too cute or your smile was perfectly bright. You both loved each other so much without the other knowing and it appeared like it would stay that way since you were leaving for your real home.
Riddle noticed you hadn’t moved for the last couple of minutes and seemed to be in deep thought however you were shaking. “Are you alright or worried? You’re shaking. Is there something wrong?” he asked and buried the twinge of hope in him that thought your hesitation was because you weren’t going to go back. You felt the hot tears drip down your cheeks and sniffled, turning around so your friend and everyone saw you were holding back the wave of tears threatening to fall. “I don’t want to go back… I don’t want to go back because that means I won’t get to see my friends or you! I love you so much! I have since the first unbirthday party I ever attended and I don’t know if you love me back but I don’t want to leave!” you cried and opened your eyes to see Riddle crying silently, tears unknowingly escaping his eyes and face a blushy pink.
You both stared at one another in silence for a couple of moments before the dorm leader spoke and wiped his face noticing his tears. “I didn’t want you to go back but it’s not my choice and it would be wrong of me to cause conflicts in you. I love you and want you to stay here with me. I can’t promise everything will stay calm but I promise I’ll always be by your side.” he said and his eyes widened when he saw you drop your things, running over to him and tackling the poor short Riddle to the ground. You cupped his face and kissed him softly, his face blushing scarlet but intertwining your hands and cupping your face in turn. “How about we make a new tart in celebration or salvage the fallen one I made you, my rose?” he asked and eyed the dropped slightly damaged dessert in its frail simple packaging.
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Ace
You were looking at the mirror in front of you the hazy outline of the world you know and turning back to see Grim trying to wipe the tears from his eyes. He’d tried several times to stop you like rallying the ghosts in ramshackle to help him or using his fire magic in the least destructive way he could or moving all the furniture to block the door.
Ace and Deuce nor Epel, Jack, or Ortho didn’t want to force you to stay since you’d tried so hard to find a way to get home and now you had. It was right in front of you but you couldn’t bring yourself to take a step forward. Your heart refused to budge and rooted itself despite your mind's logical reasoning. It pushed the one reason you had been trying to ignore out to the front of your mind.
Tears brimmed your eyes and you did your best to blink them away to no avail, using your hands to wipe them and felt them fall down your cheeks. You sniffled at the thought of never getting to see your crush again. Someone who you’d loved with all your heart and who helped you through all the trials and terrors that you’d experienced since you arrived in Twisted Wonderland.
You held your bag by your side and stared at the silver shining mirror that glowed signaling that its destination was fixed to the location the user wanted. Your home or rather somewhere close to your home as Crowley couldn’t exactly get the mirror to transport you to your country and reluctantly let Ortho and Idia help so its arrival destination was a lot closer.
The charm of an ace card that your crush Ace had given you was dangling from your phone and a replica of his magic pen held tightly. You looked at your phone once more and saw the goofy picture of both of you running from Riddle with the tart in hand as your lock screen. Letting a couple of tears fall and bringing your phone to your chest, trying to come to terms with that you would have to deal with never seeing your best friend and crush ever in exchange for being on earth again.
Ace and your other friends behind you grew worried as they saw your shoulders shaking and hands clutching your stuff tighten. Why were you hesitating? He was devastated that he would never get to see you again, assuming that texting you in your world didn’t work, and putting on a mask of happiness for you. He never even got to tell you he loved you but he knew now wasn’t the time as it’d make you hesitate. To the others, it was crystal clear how hard this was for both of you.
He ordered his voice to be steady even though it came out shaky. “Why don’t you just go? This is what you have wanted since you got here right? We’ll all miss you so much and you know we support your decision right?” he asked and heard the others murmur similar statements or agreement. You let out a sob and turned around to the group, tears falling down your red cheeks and bordering on a breakdown. “I can’t go knowing that I’ll never see any of you ever again. That I’ll never see you again, Ace. You’ve been with me since I got here and always stuck by me. I can’t leave because I love you and I’d never know if you loved me back if I left now!” you cried and hiccuped, dropping your bag and wiping your wet cheeks with your sleeve.
That was the breaking point for Ace and he stopped pretending to be glad you were going home, knowing his crush someone he loved ever since he saw you come through that mirror and go through all the crazy hijinx of this school year loved him back. He sobbed and held his uniform sleeve over his eyes to hide the onslaught of tears pouring out of his eyes. “I never wanted you to leave not when you already became a girl I could depend on every day. It’s selfish but I didn’t care because I loved you too. So seeing you happy to leave… it broke me.” he said and let the sad emotions overcome him.
You smiled albeit a bit wobbly and dropped everything you were holding, running to Ace and tackling him in a hug. Both of you fell to the ground with you on top of him and he cupped your face, kissing you softly and wiping the tears falling with his thumb. You parted for air and rested your head on his chest as you caught your breath. “So would my hot girlfriend be up for snatching a couple of sweets from my dorm?” he asked cheekily.
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Malleus
You were looking at the mirror in front of you the hazy outline of the world you know and turning back to see Grim trying to wipe the tears from his eyes. He’d tried several times to stop you like rallying the ghosts in ramshackle to help him or using his fire magic in the least destructive way he could or moving all the furniture to block the door.
Ace and Deuce nor Epel, Jack, or Ortho didn’t want to force you to stay since you’d tried so hard to find a way to get home and now you had. It was right in front of you but you couldn’t bring yourself to take a step forward. Your heart refused to budge and rooted itself despite your mind's logical reasoning. It pushed the one reason you had been trying to ignore out to the front of your mind.
Tears brimmed your eyes and you did your best to blink them away to no avail, using your hands to wipe them and felt them fall down your cheeks. You sniffled at the thought of never getting to see your crush again. Someone who you’d loved with all your heart and who helped you through all the trials and terrors that you’d experienced since you arrived in Twisted Wonderland.
You held your bag by your side and stared at the silver shining mirror that glowed signaling that its destination was fixed to the location the user wanted. Your home or rather somewhere close to your home as Crowley couldn’t exactly get the mirror to transport you to your country and reluctantly let Ortho and Idia help so its arrival destination was a lot closer.
Malleus had specifically arrived at Ramshackle to go with you to the Hall of Mirrors to spend the most time he could with you and convinced Lilia to stop Sebek from going with him since he knew it meant so much to his draconian friend. He desperately didn’t want you to leave. Who would he spend his nightly walks with or have interesting conversations about gargoyles? But most importantly, how would he fill the hole in his heart if his favorite student he loved left?
You held your bag in one hand and in the other was a replica of Malleus’ magic pen along with a small orb with the illusion of Ramshackle dorm with its gargoyles and you, Grim, and him outside pointing to different parts of the worn down dorm building. Just looking at it brought tears to your eyes. It reminded you of what you were leaving and how you were leaving the one person you loved behind.
Malleus and your friends noticed your hesitation and looked at each other worried if you were okay, wondering if they should speak up or say something. He went to take a step forward but stopped and gripped the sleeve of his blazer, unable to form the words he wanted to say. You looked at the glowing mirror in front of you and saw the hazy reflection of a familiar landmark smiling a bittersweet smile. Letting the tears fall down your cheeks and sniffling.
Your mind waged war on both sides of your mind wanting to come out on top and win. You didn’t want to leave the person who you’d slowly grown to love and who piqued your curiosity the moment you saw him. You couldn’t. Your crush spoke up after what felt like an eternity. “Are you alright? This is what you want isn’t it?” he said with a hint of solemnness. Turning around and letting everyone see your teary sad sad face. “I can’t go because I love you and if I go I’ll never get to see you again. I don’t want that. I love it here and I love being here with you. I love you and I don’t want to leave even if it means you don’t love me back!” you said through tears.
He let a few tears fall down his cheeks and smiled warmly. “I was hoping you would say something like that. I love you too and want nothing more than for you to stay here with me. I’d miss our walks and nicknames. Everything about you has captured my heart.” he said and brushed budding tears with his thumb. You sobbed hearing his confession and dropped what you were holding, running into his arms and holding him tightly. Both of you held the other like they would disappear if they let go. You laughed and leaned into the hand cupping your face, kissing him sweetly, and resting your forehead against his. “Shall we get something to eat, my beloved?” he asked charmingly.
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doberbutts · 3 months ago
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Hi jaz! I know u dont post docking/cropping disc horse on ur blog so if ur ok with it i was hoping u'd be ok answering this privately. Im really really not looking for discourse i was just very curious on what your particular stance on docking/cropping was. There are like obviously advantages and disadvantages for both that I've seen on your blog (from various opinions) but I've only irl met dob owners who are VERY against docking and cropping. Sometimes i see like u reblogged a post of a puppy with docked bandaged ears and i was like "huh! Interesting!" So way less of like a trying to start a discourse thing and more of like. Do you prefer docked or not docked? Do u support docking for any specific reason or not, like i know it used to be so they wouldn't get grabbed or something like that. Sorry if this sounds weird or super blunt im autistic and really terrible at wording things gently,, i've just seen both sides talked about and was wondering like what u thought as a professional dog trainer who's opinion I trust. Its more about personal curiosity than any discourse attempt but also also if u aren't comfortable discussing it at all then no pressure!! Like i dont wanna make u discuss something ur like "damn this is gonna be triggering to talk about" i never want to do that to u.
Thank u for taking the time to read :)
I'm actually fine posting this one publicly, only because I've stated it several times before on this very blog:
I do not give a fuck what other people do with their dogs as long as it is legal within their country and the owner is doing their best to be compassionate and fair to their animals. That can be interpreted whatever way anyone wants it to be.
In other words, someone who makes the decision to have their dog's ears cropped under the care of a vet or who purchases a dog with already cropped ears? Who gives a shit. Not me. Someone who takes a pair of scissors to their dog's ears at home? That person is an asshole and I hate them.
Very few doberman breeders in this country will allow a puppy to go home without cropping the ears or docking the tail. I am not sure if that puppy's breeder counts among them, as I have very little interest in purchasing a dog from her and thus don't know much about that part of her program. The pedigrees are simply not what I feel holds the future of the breed in terms of efforts for longevity combined with working ability, so I simply look elsewhere.
It is worth mentioning that the two fully natural dogs I have had, with one still living, come from countries in which the practice is either banned or so heavily restricted it may as well be banned. If someone is serious about wanting a fully natural doberman, most people will need to import.
I know of less than 10 breeders within this country who would allow the same thing, and of them I think I would only purchase from maybe 2 of them, and *both* of those people would only sell a fully natural dog to me because they know who I am. Someone unknown to them is still getting a cropped and docked dog.
For my own dogs, I avoid all potentially painful procedures that are not medically necessary. This does include cropping and docking, both of which are surgeries and all surgeries do have at least some pain associated with them. However I also don't spay or neuter my dogs for the same reason. When it becomes medically necessary, I will consider surgery. Until then, I will not. Thankfully, I was able to find someone who was willing to play ball with that, and that is why I have had a couple natural dogs. My dobermans prior to that were not, because I was not able to find someone, because they simply didn't exist in this country and I was a poor college kid unable to import.
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titi-1188 · 16 days ago
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Always in your corner
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“You know that Chan would truly always be in your corner and you hope he knows you’ll always be in his. Neither of you asked to be born to parents who had no care in the world but at least the two of you had each other.”
WARNINGS: Parents who don’t care(?)
PAIRING: Older Brother Chan x Younger Sibling Reader
WORD COUNT: 2.1K+
EXTRA INFO: Angst(?)/comfort, Christmas, Cringy Frozen reference, Life Advice from Older Brother, ‘Baby’ used as a term on endearment in a ‘omg you’re literally a baby’ way. SAFE FOR WORK ONLY!!!
A/N: Happy Christmas to those who celebrate and in general Happy Holidays to all!! As always, sorry for any mistakes, my english writing skills are NOT the best, I try to look over it and make sure everything makes sense to an outsider perspective of someone who ISN’T in my head but yk how it can be🩷 hehe i hope u like it!!! (can u tell what kind of issues I may have…)
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Every Christmas since Chan started college whenever he’d come back, you’d be there, ready to greet him with a hug and some sort of small ‘welcome home’ gift. Christmas was probably the only time in the year year you got to see each other with how busy you both were; you being in high school and Chan attending college, working his ass off to get his degree. You and your brother couldn’t even see each other during the summer holidays-your parents sent you off on exchanges to other countries, so far, you’ve been to Spain, France and Italy (twice), and your other breaks from school just never lined up. Safe to say Christmas was like a blessing. An opportunity for two siblings to reunite.
So, this year when Chan got out of your dad’s car after a very awkward three hour long ride from the airport and walked into the house and wasn’t met with you he was surprised, disappointed even.
“Where is she?”, he asked as your mother came out of the living room. She rolled her eyes as if the mere question was a bother and replied simply
“Probably moping around in her bedroom again”. Chan frowned. You? Moping around? That didn’t sound like you. “What do you mean?”, he questioned.
“Your sister is just going through an emotional phase—but honestly she needs to get over it, at her age she should be able to just get up and move through it.”, your father spoke up and Chan watched in mild disgust as your mother nodded along.
Your parents made it abundantly clear before that they never wanted kids and yet somehow ended up with the two of you because of societal pressure but at least years ago they would at least pretend to be concerned parents. Now that Chan was a young adult and moved out and you were a teenager they probably didn’t see the need to.
“I’m going to go up then”, he announces. Your parents shrug, mumbling a quick ‘do whatever’ before retreating back into the living room.
Meanwhile, Chan hauled his suitcase and bag up the stairs, dropped them off into his room (that definitely needs to be dusted down) and went to your room at the end of the hall, on the right. He smiled seeing the pink, bedazzled wooden sign on the door to your room with your name on it—he remembers watching you make it all those years ago and likes to see you haven’t taken it down yet.
In Chan’s head, you’re not just a regular set of siblings, although he only is almost seven years older than you, he always felt an almost paternal instinct with you.
He had a huge part in raising you and as much as he hates to admit it for purposes of being too sappy and cringe—he hates that you are growing up so quick. He sometimes wishes you were a kid again and often finds himself reminiscing all the tea-parties he was forced to attend, all the times he’s sat over you helping you with simple maths sums while he had an essay to do, all the extravagant games you two used to make up as something to do while your parents were working.
God he misses it. And he would pay so much money to get to relive it, because even without the regular caring parents who are involved in their child's life-watching you grow up all over again would be worth so much more.
Chan snaps out of his thoughts and regains his composure before knocking on the door gently.
“Y/N, it’s me—can I come in?”. He’s about to open the door and enter when it opens in his face, and there you are, wearing a comfy set of clothes.
Chan takes your appearance in and notices immediately that you look…not like you. The light that normally shines in your eyes is dimmed, there are bags under your eyes and your normally well kept hair is disheveled.
“Y/N…”, he starts but you cut him off with a hug.
“Channie”, you murmur in a soft voice. “I’m sorry I wasn’t ready this year.”
Oh the way you sound so defeated breaks his heart. “Y/N baby—it’s okay, don’t worry about it.”
“I swear I knew when dad was picking you up and I had everything planned and stuff and then I got distracted and everything I planned just went out the window-”
“Y/N. It’s fine.”, Chan reassured, pulling back from the hug but keeping a firm hold on your shoulders. “Let’s talk?”
You nod at him and let him into your room, closing the door behind him. He flops down onto your bed and pats the spot beside him. “Come on over”.
You don’t hesitate and take your spot next to your brother. Words can’t describe how grateful you are that you’re not the only child in this fucked up family and that Chan is here. Every christmas is a blessing in your eyes because he’s here, a family member who cares.
His arm wraps around your shoulder and he pulls you in closer to him, pushing your head down to rest on his chest. “There, just like when you were a baby”.
“You mean a kid?”
“Fine, just like when you were a kid”, he states again, although in his head you will always be a ‘baby’.
“Oh please, when I was a kid you were just a teenager”, you scoff but don’t make the effort to move.
“Yeah but you still clung to me like a koala, so my point still stands.”
“Okay fine..”
“You’re still clingy”, he teases, when you don’t give your usual sarcastic response he clears his throat and starts speaking in a softer, more serious tone. “Mom said you’re ’moping around’..wanna tell me about that?”
“Things have just been…utter shit”, you respond simply.
“Utter shit?”, he questions, prompting you to further explain as he starts to run his fingers through your, messy, hair.
“I just…I feel like I’m stuck in time. Everyone else around me is moving on and I’m stuck in this spot. All my friends are starting to go to all sorts of house parties and get drunk off their heads, in school they keep shoving down future career paths down our throats and in general there’s just more and more work to be done ever single day...even mom and dad are talking about having me move out soon since technically it’s legal for me to move out after I turn sixteen—but I’m just, I don’t want to do any of that. I want to just be a kid for a little longer. In my head I’m still like eleven or like twelve—I’m not ready for all of this, I don’t want to be ready for all of this!”, you start rambling, your words flowing out quickly, as if you’ve been waiting to say all of this to someone.
“I see”, Chan responds. “I think…and hear me out, I think you’re just craving a normal childhood-one where you weren’t basically left to fend for yourself.”
You nod and he feels it’s safe to continue.
“You don’t want to grow up because you already feel like you have been at a higher maturity level since you were learning your ABC’s..”.
“How do you know exactly how to put this into simple words?”
“Because I know exactly how you feel. You know, I suppose when you were born I not only had to fend for myself, but also for you—and I do not hold it against you Y/N, you are the best thing that could’ve happened to me. I think if I was an only child in this family I would’ve gone insane.” You both giggle at his words but you both know he’s right. You know especially now in his absence that living in this house by yourself is not a nurturing and caring environment.
Chan continues speaking, “So you could say that from a young age I was acting like I was in my 30’s, taking care of myself, you, teaching you life lessons while learning them myself..and when it came to actually being a grown up..I didn’t want to do it because I felt like I already have been doing it. I wanted to just be able to I don’t know…play around with fucking legos or just go to the beach and build as many sandcastles as I desire, I wanted to reverse time and somehow get our parents to care for us and give the both of us the childhood we deserve. I still want that. I still wish that there was a switch I could flip and suddenly they’ll be asking more than the ‘required’ mundane questions…but…”, he trails off with a sigh.
“…That can’t happen”, you say. “Mhm, it can’t. So, trust me when I say that I understand how you feel.”
“How did you get over it?”, you ask.
“Well..it does turn out that adult life is a bit more complicated so I had to figure that out..but to heal my inner child..I did exactly what I wanted to, I realised that because I was an adult, no one could actually stop me from building sandcastles at the beach, or spending my first entire real pay check on all the lego sets I wanted and building them all”.
“Did it help?”
“Honestly, yeah. I gave myself what our parents couldn’t..or well wouldn’t and I felt much better about myself.” He pokes your arm, laughing a bit “Just don’t spend your first entire pay check on lego. I’ll teach you how to be smarter with money.”
“I feel bad you have to teach me these things.”
“Don’t. I want to.”, Chan replies. “The only reason I didn’t completely cut contact with mom and dad after I moved out was so I could see you like this, so I could continue to parent you because..you have so much potential Y/N..and our parents don’t provide you with an environment to encourage that kind of growth, they just want you to grow up and move out so they can be at peace, but I want you to thrive. I want you to be prepared and ready for whatever life throws at you. I want to encourage you in everything. I just want to help you. Make sure you have it better than anyone else..”. Chan’s words make you feel a pang in your chest, you close your eyes and slow your breathing, feeling his heartbeat as his fingers comb through your hair.
“Obviously, since you seem to be so nervous, I’ll tune my coaching down to a slower place, we can take this one small step at a time”.
“Thank you Channie. Really.”, you reply. “Mom and dad are no help at all…like no help. They just want me out of here.”
“I know…but it’s okay, you’ll figure yourself out, you’ll figure out what you want to do with your life, in your own time and I’ll be here in your corner supporting you every step of the way and teaching you things and well…everything I already said”, Chan reassures, patting your arm.
“Now…what if…we go and build a snowman or something?”, he suggests.
“A snowman?”, you laugh and sit up, meeting his eyes.
“What? It’ll be fun! I promise!”, Chan exclaims, “Come on don’t be a loser! Just come build a snowman with me!!”
“What you need me to sing it for you??”, he clears his throat. “Do you want to build a snowman? Come on let’s go and play-“
It’s only when you start laughing he does too. God when Frozen came out you both went through a terrible phase where you were obsessed with the movie..and when the second one came out god it all came back again.
“Okay Anna—let’s go build a snowman”.
That’s how your day ends. The two of you building multiple snowmen in the green in your estate (while your parents sat inside, oblivious to what their kids are doing). And honestly, you wouldn’t have traded it for the world.
You know that Chan would truly always be in your corner and you hope he knows you’ll always be in his. Neither of you asked to be born to parents who had no care in the world but at least the two of you had each other.
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a/n: hope you liked this! i had to rush the ending a bit because I wanted it to be done by at least Christmas day so apologies!!!
p.s: if you have any reqs, feel free to ask!! just keep it sfw!!!
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ca-suffit · 4 months ago
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i agree when it comes to female characters whatever their origins, I think the showrunners did the best they could. I did find weird that anne rice never wrote any queer female characters, it's all subtext. the books are really filled with sexism and while anne rice wrote the mayfair's witches, with a main female characters it's still full of incestuous rape and I couldn't believe amc took the decision to make an adaptation of those books. Just the whole stuff with 13 years old mona mayfair... I really never understand why anne rice wasn't comfortable with her female characters. anyway we could still have merrick in iwtv. they could change some elements of her plot.
tw csa
Anne Rice included a lot of themes that are popular and common still in modern stories and ppl tend to not understand the main difference of why ppl take offense to Anne's writing and not others. Case in point, this thread I responded to the other day on twt:
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Here is the source (from her official website) for what OwlsGoldberg was referencing (thnx to them for sharing this link in the thread too) "O.K. I just read a book I recommend. It's called THE DEADLY FEAST by Richard Rhodes. The book centers around a man named Carleton Gajdusek. Carleton Gajdusek is a Nobel Prize winner and he's in prison--apparently for fondling a 14 year old in a shower. I have not seen the court record and I'm not in any way qualified to judge what goes on. All I want to say is that I highly recommend that you get the book. That the contribution of Carleton Gajdusek to medicine and to science has been fantastic and that I personally am looking into the whole question of child molestation, children's rights, because it concerns me. I remember being a young adult, and I remember being real angry that I wasn't allowed to do things that other adults were doing. I was working full time and I was living in a rooming house and I didn't like being classified as a teenager, because somebody wanted to sell me something expensive. I know I sound angry--I am. I am angry. But we've got to revise our concept of teenagers in this country. If we want to stop the crime in this country we've just got to realize that 14 and 15 year old people are adults, they are not children. And leading them to believe that there is a fundamental difference between play killing and real killing."
That's not even all of it for that twt thread, but u get the point. Nobody can ever criticize anything with Anne Rice without ppl saying it's just misogyny or ....whatever that accusation of queerphobia for a cast member is about (there was no clarification who that's referencing but I'm guessing it's Sam Reid bcuz this fandom rides hard for white queerness in him / Lestat at any chance, especially in order to silence other issues). It's always easy for these ppl to erase everything about anything else except "victimization" of a rich white woman. This only happens within the fandom too, as most ppl outside it don't respect Anne Rice at all for her behavior or writing....and that's without even knowing the depths of this kind of stuff. U couldn't pull this crap on any person on the street, they'd rightfully think ur terminally online and fucking weird.
Anyway, back to the point about themes. Anne Rice had repetitive themes that ppl will argue are for "the genre." The thing is tho....it has to still serve a purpose to the story to be any good. Most of the time (at least for my knowledge of TVC books), there isn't a reason to have these things present. She simply has a fixation on them and a lot of them are things that hurt women just for the sake of doing it. The reader is also uncomfortably made to feel like this is all supposed to be ok too, which is the main issue ppl have. It's not critical or intentionally envoking horror and dread....it's just saying "this is what being a girl/woman is" and giving the message to love ur abuser (most often a very old white man in TVC), which many survivors of a lot of things find triggering af.
Mentioning Merrick too, that's a character I rly liked and yet was wasted all over. The book with her name is narrated by David Talbot, this elderly, white, British pedophile, and we spend more time hearing his gross thoughts about her as a child and other similar shit in his life (always with underage poc) instead of spending time with her in her own head as an adult. Or Louis, for that matter, who is also more who the book is about than David, yet Davis is our narrator.
There's a lot more I could write but I'd never stop tbh. It's clear to most everyone who isn't finding excuses that Anne Rice just wasn't a good writer and had so many issues with misogyny and a lot of other things. I've never seen any other author excused so much from criticism, especially one who was so obviously known in life as being a rly unlikeable person, particularly to her own fanbase. If it weren't for other ppl, there wouldn't even be a fandom for her work. She v much almost destroyed it by herself.....but she's dead now, so ppl have been quick to start rewriting history and accusing others of anything they can think of to avoid criticism. Just like she always did.
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bloggingboutburgers · 1 year ago
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hihi! bit of a personal question so feel free not to answer, but what are your thoughts on getting platonically married and/or cohabitation? also (again dont have to answer if ur not comfortable lol) do u ever plan on having/adopting kids? im aro greyace and i havent rlly met any aspec people who also want to adopt/have kids at some point so im curious lol.
Actually yeah – I plan on both! My queerplatonic partner doesn't live in the same country as me and it's been taxing at times, I miss being close to them on days, and considering the laws, getting married would probably be the only way we can be physically together and stay together... So that's one thing. (Actually, even before realizing this practical aspect I was already having thoughts that I'd never considered marrying anyone but if I did, with them, it really wouldn't be bad at all 🙈)
Kids are also a long-term plan – my partner, who's also ace, wants to have kids in the future, and personally I'm not opposed to the idea. I love interacting with kids (in a non-creepy way obviously, just, they're so much more open-minded and less full of bullshit than adults, it can be so interesting to spend time with them, teach them things and learn other things from them), my only fear is that I wouldn't be a good parent and would do something wrong that'd make them suffer. But... I don't know, maybe having that fear is a good sign that at least I'll be careful? idk
My parents are allo, hetero people and they got divorced after one cheated on the other and resentment piled up for years and we had to bear witness to it. That sucked big time. I was scared of dinnertime and got so angry for the sake of my little brothers who suffered more than me due to being younger and possibly seeing it coming less. In a way, being in a queerplatonic relationship erases a lot of that fear for me and my partner. If they become romantically involved with someone at some point, considering my aro brain, I don't think I'll resent them, I'll just be like "fair enough as long as they're happy". I feel that in itself might avoid a lot of behavioral issues I've had to take from my folks. Also, just... I feel there's less risk of "cheating" to begin with because there's less risk of frustration at "the sex not being good anymore" – since we don't have it. I don't wanna put allosexuals in boxes or say this is the only problem that can lead to couples separating, FAR from it. But I just know I've heard some people citing that as a reason for couple problems, so... Yeah, y'know. That's one risk we don't have.
...I don't know, maybe I'm overly optimistic over things. Which is kinda rare for me. But in any case I hope this can be helpful and bring reassurance^^
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welcome-to-ratterrock · 5 months ago
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Do u the creator and Sage has a similar definition for "obsession" with death or death in general?
I think everyone has different or similar definition for that topic but I'm curious on what is Sage pov abt it
Ppl always avoid this topic and they are usually weirded out or get scared when someone talk about it (personal experience, very few ppl are comfortable with that topic and bless their heart for not being scared)
@bajingoarts says:
I was raised really catholic, grew up my whole life learning about resurrections and rebirths. Obsessed with the imagery of our messiah literally suffering and dying on a cross above our heads. I’ve always found death both fascinating and terrifying. To some it’s the beginning, to others an end. To me death is as neutral as the sea. Dangerous and unpredictable yet beautiful and mysterious. 
It doesn’t mean it does not frighten me, it’s natural to fear an end. But the approach and understanding that an end is coming makes me try and appreciate the peace and life I have.
If people stopped obsessing over the afterlife–an idealistic peace after this one and simply view death as a natural end to life…then maybe folks would open their eyes to the random, strange, horrifying, and beautiful realities of the here and now…
I think Locke is a lot like that. Viewing the violent deaths he investigates as the theft of life. He isn’t afraid of death, we all die…but some die unfairly and gruesomely. Locke wants to pick apart the reasons, the motivations, the way someone died…perhaps to better understand how they lived. I think we can all relate to feeling isolated from those around us, I think Locke feels most isolated from the living, and feels he can only relate to them through their death…
It might sound twisted, but I think Locke feels he can better service those who died than he can those who are living. When designing him I wanted him to almost look like he had a skull pattern on his face, like he was a gatekeeper to the afterlife…a reaper who collects lost souls. 
Y’know…a sexy emo boy.
@suzie-guru says:
Ever since a very young age, death and what it truly means has always been something I’ve contemplated. What would it be like, to not be a part of the vibrant rush of the living world, to have my existence truly end? If I am not my body but a soul that resides within it, where would my soul go, what would it perceive? Death awaits me, everyone - it is as natural as the tides of the sea and the phases of the moon. Mortality is a brief and precious flicker of a flame before the certainty of death comes to extinguish it. But what did death actually mean? What happens after we draw our last breath? 
For an undeniable and unavoidable fact of life, one of the key things about death is that what happens after we die is truly unknown. Church told me one thing, then relatives and or friends would tell me another. What did I believe in? Would contemplating something that didn’t align with Christianity mark me out as a failure of faith, unable to go to heaven? At the very least, I knew I wouldn’t be able to experience what I loved, what was comfortable and familiar and known, that which I could somewhat control. Death? That was, is, the ultimate unknown. 
This realization frightened me as a child, and even as an adult I get unsettled when I dwell upon it. I’ve always struggled with the unknown, that which can’t be explained or understood, and I take comfort in what is familiar and understandable. 
But now that I’m older and more mature, along with that unsettledness is an intense appreciation and gratitude to the beauty of life, its pleasures and sensations. I love exploring and celebrating new experiences, whether it’s trying a new drink or traveling to a different country, and I recognize and relish the quiet joys of the day to day, the feeling of sunshine on my skin or the nuzzles my cat gives me. Life is about sensation and we are built to enjoy those sensations. As someone who has been at the lowest of lows because of depression, I very much intend on enjoying what is enjoyable and beautiful about this world with the time that I have. 
Interestingly, that’s a trait I share with Padraic Regal - his lows of life have been so very low, so horrible and heartbreaking, that he’s very much a hedonist now, determined to enjoy the best of the beautiful and bliss inducing things his world has. Though he’s willing to break the law and bend morality to get what he wants, and I’m not (I promise!). He knows how quickly life can turn to death, how a beautiful healthy bloom can wilt and wither, and he wants to make his time on earth something special, experience everything extraordinary and exquisite to the point of ecstasy. 
He, like me, also wants to endure beyond his death, take back some of the total control by having his name live on. As a writer and artist, I want to have my work and the worlds they contain to continue on, be shared by others so that a part of me will still endure, still offer hope and comfort and inspiration and insight. Padraic wants his name to be whispered with awe, and he doesn’t care if it is awed admiration or fear. Both of us want to create something that will stand the test of time, do something meaningful and worthwhile with our lives before it is our time to go. Vita brevis, ars longa. Life is short, but art is eternal. For me, my art is literally that, art. For Padraic, his art is his profession, his criminal genius. Perhaps both of us are motivated by that unspoken promise of the briefness of mortality…
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theholypeanut · 1 year ago
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HELLO.
I don't know if you can write this but
I want to request a Akashi x Reader thing like like kien hahvahsbs (THIS IS A FIRST TIME U REQUEST FROM YOU)
The reader is Akashi's best friends since children but sadly they went to another country bc of family business and stuff. Years later they found each other and hugged after a long time ongomgogm
Am so sorry if this is such a struggle 😭😭
I love how my blog is technically also about KNB not somehow I never wrote anything only Kuroko no Basket related, and yet my first request is about Akashi who is (in my opinion) one of the hardest character to write about 😭🫶 But love you and I hope you enjoyed it, sorry it took me so long
Gn!reader x Akashi Seijiuro
- You and Akashi did not hit it off right away, it was more of a slowburn when you were kids. At first you felt jealous about how amazing he was in everything he tried just once, but the more you spent time with him, the more you felt sorry for him. It was actually awful to be perfect.
- One day when you were 5, you just told him, that he is amazing, but not only because he is perfect, but he will still be amazing even if he fails from time to time, which felt so off from what he was taught, so he didn’t believe you at first. What do you mean fail? But later on, he somehow felt comforted by your presence just because he knew that, if he ever fails, you won’t judge him for it. And it was a beginning of a very strong friendship.
- For years you and Akashi were the strongest duo know in the school. He would always have your back and everyone knew they cannot say anything bad about you, if they want to live. And Akashi would know that he can always count on you whenever he just needed comfort, even a silent one. You were a ride or die.
- … Until your dad got a job overseas right before middle school. You two were so exciting to go to Teiko together, and now none of you wanted to even say out loud how heartbroken you felt.
- He gave you a necklace to keep, just a simple chain with a jade on it - jade was always associated with emperor, so it naturally reminded you of him. However none of you decided to give any emotional speech. The only words that lingered in between you two was “we will meet again”
- For a year you kept in touch by messages, but the longer you’ve been gone, the less frequent it got. You kept tabs on Teiko’s amazing wins, but you could feel that something changed in Akashi.
- Between second year of middle school till second year of high school, you stopped talking at all and it broke your heart. You still wore the necklace everyday.
- Around beginning of second year of high school, you got a call out of the blue. It was him.
“Hey” you heard a familiar voice. It got a little more deep and rough, but it still brought back so many memories. “I didn’t know if you’ll answer”
You stayed silent for a while. “Of course I would”
After this couple words an awkward silence filled the line. What else could you say? How are you? What were you doing for the past years?
“I’m sorry” he said. You knew Akashi Seijiuro for years and one thing that you probably never heard from him was an apology. And him ordering fast food. “I missed you. I don’t think you would be proud of what person I was in the past years” His voice felt a little weak, for the proud and amazing Akashi Seijiuro you knew.
“Good. It means you are no longer perfect, doesn’t it?” You decided to keep quiet about how sad it made you to not get a single message in the past years.
“Yes. I guess so”
- After this surprising call, you came back to keeping in touch with each other. You were still in high school overseas, but now finally feeling Akashi’s presence in your life, it felt better, fuller. However also quite empty.
- You were having a phone call at least once per month when you talked like nothing changed. He told you that he plans to play basketball after high school, but wants to go to Tokyo University first. And that was the moment you decided what you want to do with your future too.
~ Two years later ~
Waiting for a luggage never felt longer than now. Why the hell did you have to bring this huge suitcase? Maybe carry on would be enough, for a whole damn moving back to Japan?
You noticed that you started sweating uncontrollably. Of course, now, when you really want to smell like this nice expensive perfume, you will stink like a shoe on a hot summer day. Perfect.
When you finally collected proper baggage, you slowly went towards the arrivals gate. It’s been six years when you last saw each other. Six whole years. What if he won’t recognise you anymore? You were playing with the jade on your neck to calm yourself down.
When you went through the door, you started to look around. Somehow in your mind Akashi is still a small boy with red hair, and you could only imagine how much he changed by seeing his pictures in the magazine photos. Would it be embarrassing if you mistake him for someone else? Doubts started to fill your head. And then, in just one moment, they all disappeared when you saw a familiar face in the crowd.
He got tall, extremely handsome, and he looked just so mature. Your eyes met and he smiled lightly. And in that very moment you felt like everything melt inside of you.
You fasten your steps and when it was only meters away, you dropped your suitcase and jumped into his arms. In this moment you were so thankful for all of this years of heavy training he did, because he held you like you weight nothing, and holding you was the most natural thing to do. You pressed your nose to the crook of his neck.
“Hey” you heard his deep voice, just like two years ago in your phone, but this time, it was louder and clearer. “I missed you”
You felt like your eyes started to water up. You moved away a little to look at his face.
“Yeah, I missed you too”
And on one hand you felt like nothing change and no time has passed, but on the other, just in this moment, you felt like everything will change from now on.
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boogiewoogieweeb · 6 months ago
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SEXSOMNIA U SAY?? 👀👀
GUS!! 😍 HELL YEAH, SEXSOMNIA I DO SAY 😈 okay, so we all know that ned's stress levels go through the roof once they get stuck in the pack and frank takes to drinking like he doesn't want to live anymore, right? so i thought, why not make him so stressed out that all his various repressed victorian issues manifest in him becoming a sexsomniac, aka a sleepfucker :D featuring sex dreams, sleep!sex, switching, and ned's continually declining mental state. fair warning however, as i started writing this firmly with initial dub-con and later cnc in mind, given the subject matter.
and ofc, me being me, this was never NOT going to be joplittle, seeing as they make up about 85% of my terror wips, and around 98% of my brain (1.8% of which is dedicated to thinking about mcnulty at all times, with the remaining 0.2% going towards basic life functions. like sleeping. or breathing.)
so! without further ado, a snippet under the cut, for nsfw purposes (please forgive any spelling or grammar mistakes you see in this; it's still very much a rough draft):
On the third night of waking hard and wanting, chasing the intangible comfort of bodily heat, Edward heaves himself upright after lying breathless and frustrated in the dark for what had seemed at least half an hour, pulls on his trousers and boots, shrugs into his greatcoat and pockets his pipe and tobacco pouch with a mind to relieving George from his position. He’d already had the first watch that night, but sleep seems unlikely to revisit him now, as agitated as he is, and in the absence of a suitable outlet for his desires, keeping busy must take up the slack.
It’s as he’s making his way towards the main hatch, not really paying much heed to anything other than the placement of his own dragging feet, that he quite literally bumps into Jopson. 
“My apologies, Lieutenant,” Jopson offers, blinking owlishly at him before quickly schooling his expression into something more diffident and compliant. He’d stepped back smartly upon taking note of Edward’s presence, but not smart enough to avoid the quick, awkward collision of shoulders and chests in the cramped space of the passageway that follows. “I didn’t expect to run into anyone in officer's country save Lieutenant Hodgson, or perhaps one of the doctors at this hour.” 
Edward’s mouth has gone rather dry. 
Since he’d first boarded Terror in Greenhithe, something that seems nearly a lifetime ago now, Thomas Jopson has stuck in his mind like a particularly egregious thorn. Diligent and competent, the man performs his duties to a standard more exacting than even Edward’s own; as fine an example of a captain’s steward as any Edward can think to name. And yet there always seems to be something sharp and prodding beneath that well-polished veneer of deference, a watchful sort of interest that sets Edward’s teeth on edge. That he’s handsome in that particular way that would set even the most pious penitent’s eyes to roving on dry land, only serves to add to Edward’s sense of discomfiture whenever he’s confronted with Jopson’s otherwise unassuming presence. 
“Sir?” Jopson ventures politely and Edward comes back to himself. 
“A bit restless tonight, Mr. Jopson,” he replies, somewhat hesitant. He doesn’t owe Jopson the explanation, but it feels indecorous not to offer it, especially after having blindly blundered into him. “I was of a mind to relieve Lieutenant Hodgson, in fact.” 
“Not much of the third watch left to relieve him of, if you don’t mind me saying so, sir,” Jopson responds, chin tilted consideringly. “But perhaps I could fetch you a cup of tea if you’d like?”
Edward considers the offer, taking a long look at the main hatch over Jopson’s shoulder. The idea of being up on deck had been a particularly unpleasant one even as he’d shaken off the afterimages of the latest dream, but it had seemed the only viable option at the time. Jopson’s comparative offer is much more tempting, even if the tea will only aid in his tiredness come daybreak. 
“Only if it won’t be any trouble, Mr. Jopson,” Edward agrees after a moment. 
“This way then, Lieutenant. And it’s no trouble at all, sir,” Jopson assures him with a faint smile, really no more than a quick quirk at one corner of his mouth. But the sight is enough to send a flush of warmth racing up Edward’s spine all the same as he follows Jopson’s lead to the officer’s mess. 
“I thought to brew a fresh pot for Lieutenant Hodgson on his way down, so it’s rather fortunate our paths crossed as they did, sir. Saves us both some trouble now, doesn’t it?” 
Edward frowns at that. “Shouldn’t Mr. Gibson be attending to this, then?” Billy Gibson is a suitably decent and motivated steward, if not a particularly noteworthy one, and Edward’s never had cause for complaint with the man or his work before, nor considered him the kind to shirk his duties, but if he’s fobbing chores off onto Jopson– 
“Ah, no, sir,” Jopson cuts in before ducking his head awkwardly. Edward catches only a brief glimpse of his expression, but it’s enough to register it as an embarrassed sort of discomfort. “I was having trouble sleeping myself, so I offered to take up his shift.” 
Before Edward can think to control himself, a surprised bark of laughter escapes him. Jopson chances a look back at him over his shoulder, discomfort giving way to bemusement. “What a pair we make, Mr. Jopson,” Edward tells him, shaking his head. 
“Indeed, Lieutenant Little,” Jopson replies with another small, evasive smile, expression clear once more as he holds the door to the mess open for Edward to enter. “Be right back, sir,” he tells Edward, before heading off to fetch the tea service. 
Later, back in his berth with a belly full of warm tea, Edward closes his eyes and doesn’t dream of anything other than blue eyes and quiet company. 
—-------------- 
“Sir. Oh, sir,” Jopson’s voice hitches on a moan muffled into the meat of Edward’s shoulder, teeth grazing the sweat-slicked skin there. He’s sat firmly in Edward’s lap, thighs splayed wide atop him, regal in his nakedness, and Edward is buried to the hilt in his brilliant, blazing heat; mind empty of anything else save the gloriously winding coil of lust slung low and tight about his groin like a clove hitch. 
“Edward,” Jopson breathes against him, setting fire wherever his mouth makes contact, body tightening around Edward’s prick like the most exquisite vice. “Harder. I want to-” A groan, an indrawn breath. “God, I want to know your shape always, want to feel how well you fill me for days to come.” 
Edward, blind to anything but his need and the sound of Jopson’s voice, obeys; thrusts deeper, and sharper, angling just so to hit that place he knows so well from his own experience can bring a man to rushing, all-consuming crisis in a matter of minutes. Above him, Jopson is a living conflagration, every place his body touches Edward’s a red-hot brand. He’s never been so warm before in all his life, nor so grateful for such heat. 
“Edward, Edward, there, just there,” Jopson sings out his praises, hands fisted in Edward’s hair, hips undulating like a serpent, taking his aching prick so well, as if he’d been made for it, sculpted from the finest clay - and all for Edward, only for him. 
Edward’s eyes are squeezed shut, body drawn corkscrew-tight with pleasure. He’s close, he’s so close- 
“Sir?” Jopson questions, but his voice is different, no longer rough and breathless with desire. Edward can feel the wave cresting, ready to break. His cock is a piston between Jopson’s thighs, the rhythm of his thrusts punishing, the sound of flesh meeting flesh carrying around them, loud like the staccato of rapping knuckles on wood. 
“Sir?” Jopson asks again, voice stranger still. Edward wraps a tight fist around Jopson’s own length, hard against his belly, hoping it’ll distract him. He’s on the very edge now, sparks dancing behind his closed eyes, a bonfire blazing in the dark there. 
“Lieutenant Little, sir, it’s morning already.” 
Jopson kisses the words onto his brow with Billy Gibson’s voice just as Edward’s crisis hits, and Edward jolts awake in a tangle of limbs and bedlinens with Jopson’s name still caught in the back of his throat. 
“Sir, is everything alright?” Gibson’s unsure voice comes floating again from beyond the door to Edward’s cabin, following another knock. 
“A moment please, Gibson,” Edward pants out, heart racing, stiff and uncomfortable under a sheen of quickly cooling, souring sweat; the remnants of his lust still warm and tacky where it sticks his nightshirt to his skin.
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soracities · 2 years ago
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hey there! how are you doing, lovely?? i wanted your take if that's okay with you: i'm in university studying literature, and i have the possibility of studying abroad for one semester! it's pretty competitive, but i have a high gpa so i feel like if i apply to it i could get it. but im so so scared lmao, i'm a family kind of person, i still live with my parents (im in my early twenties) and i feel like it'd be hard for me to be like 4 months in another country. but i also feel like it's an amazing opportunity! do you have any advice on this? what would you do? thank u lovely hope u have a great day!!<3
i think that, if financially you have the means, and if the fear is mainly because of how new and different this experience would be, then i would absolutely go for it lovely. it will be hard at first and it will be scary especially because it's something so far out of your comfort zone or what you've been used to so far, but that's not to say it won't become something very meaningful and worthwhile for you too. i'm the kind of person who thinks any new endeavour is worth pursuing, even if it turns out that you hate it because you will still gain something from that: if you decide to go, and love it--wonderful. if you decide to go and you hate it then at least that's a solid experience and knowledge about yourself that you've gained because you tried, and you will also have the comfort of knowing that you tried, that you did something different and stepped out of your comfort zone and that bravery and willingness always counts for something in my book.
the other scenario in this is that you don't go, and if this is the choice you make because you genuinely believe it would be too much for you and harmful to you in some way, or that you are simply not ready then that's perfectly okay--but if it's simply fear and worry over the unknown, then i think it may help to consider that, in not going, this option can instead leave you with a slightly worse unknown, in that you could come away wondering what if--if you do go for it, no matter how it pans out, at least you will have your answer to that question: i think at the end of the day the best thing is to ask yourself which scenario you would regret more. 4 months seems like a long time now, but it's a very brief time compared to the full length of your university degree, and if you enjoy your semester abroad this will fly by, and if you don't enjoy it, then again: it's only 4 months.
and there are so many things you can do to try to make the experience easier for yourself, also: if you're worried about missing your family then see how often you can schedule video calls, or catch-ups, or even virtual game nights (or anything else, it doesn't have to be games), if you can afford to, and if it's not too far away, you can set aside some money, and plan a trip back home for a weekend or have someone come to visit you (again if it's financially feasible) so, if settling in proves difficult or you simply miss them, you will have something familiar to look forward to in an unfamiliar place. it will also help to learn as much as you can about whatever city / country the semester abroad is based in and make a list of places you want to see and visit. and if you do decide to go and get a place, then you can begin to build a routine or a series of little rituals for yourself by finding a favourite park, or bakery, café, library, restaurant, whatever it may be, and build a small foundation for yourself from that so that the place seems less scary and unfamiliar to you.
i think fear is an important emotion, but sometimes it can be a hindrance, too, especially when our exact fears aren't clear to us: once you're able to name exactly what worries you and scares you they become a little more manageable because now you can begin to work out different solutions and find what works best. i hope some of this helps, anon, and i hope, too, that you're able to make the decision that is best for YOU, whatever it may be 💕
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tonysopranosfeverdreams · 11 months ago
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can u talk more about your time in americorps? if you feel like it. i'm interested in doing it but idk if i can but i want to know what it's like
yes!! i have done americorps twice at different times in my life and they were very different experiences that were what i needed at each time
i did americorps nccc at first when i was 22 and it was probably the most life-defining experience of my life. i got to live with a small group of people and travel around the country for a year and work with different organizations which is really cool for a young person for a few different reasons, for me being:
-exposure to different types of work and organizations that are doing genuinely good work within their community. When I was in the program, we did everything from working hands-on in national and international gardens and parks, construction-type work cleaning and boarding vacant houses, working as summer school teachers and camp counselors for people with disabilities, and there are more im forgetting im sure but it really shows you the opportunities out there and pushes you out of your comfort zone to the point that you realize you are capable of much more than what you may have thought
-free food/housing, which makes it super ideal for a young person with no money and gives you the unique opportunity to actually travel and build career skills for free
-this is dependent on chance, to an extent, but i had a team i loved. we were all very very different personalities and backgrounds but very open people and we built a very strong bond which i think helped all of us learn to grow up by cooking for each other, navigating very tight living situations, having fun together, working together as a team all the time, and that's something i see a lot of people still struggling to navigate even as much older adults. but on top of those skill sets you learn, it's just fucking FUN. you get to go on tons of road trips with your best friends and meet tons of new people have cook outs, go camping, have movie nights, play hide and seek in old houses. its just really really really fun if you get paired with people who are open and caring and you learn a lot from them
There are downsides. The training for NCCC is kind of grueling. It's arguably a cult. But I easily survived on that small living stipend with the housing and food coming free and if you can take the physical training and strict rules and see them as like a way of trying new things and learning new ways to live, its actually pretty fun. I learned I actually like playing most sports and am pretty athletic. Everyone breaks all of the rules (alcohol, especially) and at least at my campus, it was very very very easy to get in trouble. I got in a lot of trouble during my stint tbh we were bad kids lol but i dont even regret that because it was fun and i learned from it and the people i was around knew me well enough to fight for me to stay in. just try not to get caught because they do kick people out at the drop of the dime, and if i had been on any other team than the highest-achieving, most close-knit one, i'm pretty sure i would have been kicked out in a heartbeat. i know multiple kids who got arrested or had other like very intense situations happen during that time, so like, it is as challenging as it is fun. please be more cautious than me if you do it.
I did AmeriCorps Vista when I was 27, after several intermediate years of working at a non-profit theatre and it was a completely different experience, but also really beneficial for me, personally. But I did get lucky again, here, in finding a career path I was interested in and people who were invested enough to put me on track for a job and trust me with some key opportunities. I'd say this is something that this option for me felt comfortable because at this point i was a full adult with expectations for autonomy and independence so it was a nice opportunity to get my foot in the door in field I cared about (for me, I had realized during my first stint that I was really passionate about making sure kids had a safe space to go during summers and afterschool, so I chose to work with an org that did that). If you do good work in VISTA, and if you commit to the work and try new things, I think it's pretty common to make a career out of it. I got the opportunity, as a VISTA, to write a grant proposal for NASA (literally on a WHIM, to give me a first stab at learning how to write grants and grow my skillset), and I got it, which basically sealed a permanent position in the org for me. From there, I was able to get additional promotions, so it was like. an extremely efficient launching point to get into a career i was interested in for me. And I think this happens for a lot of people.
Financially, VISTA Is much more difficult. I saved up some money before I started, and blew threw a lot of it just paying rent. It is possible, but i know first-hand it is very very difficult when you dont have any additional financial support, so I'd recommend trying to save up a little bit before starting or finding a living situation with roommates/where youre paying very little in rent. i do think its unethical and i know they have recently raised pay rates, since i finished my term, but i doubt it's enough to live quite comfortably without saving in advance.
In summary, NCCC is great and I'd recommend it to virtually any kid who loves to travel and wants to try new things.
VISTA is a great way to get experience in a field you think youre interested in and if you do it its very important you take risks to make yourself stand make your resume as impressive as possible
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quasiimodo · 2 years ago
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JOSE CARIOCA 🦜
i GASPED this was such a good character thank you
send me a character and i’ll list:
favorite thing about them
he's such a comfort character for me??? melody time is a movie i watched over and over as a kid because we owned it on vhs for some reason? and world showcase has always been my favourite place at disney world, so because of all that josé is just very special to me?? i love seeing the iterations of the three caballeros through the years and different shows. i think it's great to see him still evolving and appearing in media over 80 years after saludos amigos
least favorite thing about them
uhhhh can i complain about the fact that he's not very well known??? or that disney can't hire a native brazilian to voice him (sorry eric bauza i love u) or that they can't PRONOUNCE HIS NAME RIGHT????? i don't have anything bad to say about josé himself, but disney's treatment of him is whack sometimes
favorite line
HAVE YOU BEEN TO BAHIA, DONALD?
brOTP
the three caballeros
OTP
the three gay caballeros (i love them as an ot3, but if i had to pick a monogamous ship it would be josé/panchito)
nOTP
i don't even know of any other ships for josé other than the caballeros but ig just in general it would be women??? he's gay sorry
random headcanon
he's gay, i already said that above. he's fluent in portuguese and english, and he starts learning spanish because of panchito. (he would know some spanish, i believe, because of brazil's borders with spanish speaking countries, but he wants to become fluent). he's the kind of guy that will whisper sweet nothings into your ear in your native language. what a charmer.
unpopular opinion
i think my love and fascination for him is unpopular opinion enough for someone who doesn't live in brazil
song i associate with them
oh god i'm so bad at song associations and i feel like saying any of his canon songs is cheating but probably just any samba song? josé has moves
favorite picture of them
Tumblr media
this art is hanging in my living room. they're all so cute but i love josé's little smile :3
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mithliya · 1 year ago
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I'm assuming you're a Muslim, and I truly apologize if you're not. But how do you deal with being a lesbian and not feeling any guilt or shame or even fear! I struggle alot. Same thing with viewing Islam as a religion when there's so many sexist and patriarchal things about it, but I can't let go because this is my religion.
im not the best to ask about reconciling religious beliefs with one's sexuality because i was never religious and was always skeptical of religion overall & in my case islam specifically. but ill share my process in hopes it will help & for those of u who come from more religious backgrounds, i encourage you to share your wisdoms with anon as i know my experience is not aligned with what anon needs.
so, i came out when i was 18 and i was very much afraid. i was mostly afraid not because i thought id be going to hell, because that idea didn't make much sense to me anyways, but because i was afraid of the reality of being gay (& especially a lesbian specifically) in my country. i literally felt like a wave of heat take over me and felt this weakness i can't even explain, its like i had a really high fever or sth. i knew i would lose the love & respect of many relatives and that id never be able to actually live a decent life in my country. we are so far behind in terms of gay rights, its not something people talk about yknow and theres no kind of community or orgs for us because its illegal to "promote" it in any way which means its illegal for such an org to even exist. theres no support for us.
at that time, i did look into more liberal & progressive interpretations of islam. it did help me a bit and it made me feel like i was doing something and promoting change that will maybe ultimately help gay muslims like myself. i thought maybe it would be possible to change how muslims view homosexuality bit by bit. so i looked into those things and surrounded myself with other gay muslims and would read about the interpretations from this one gay imam and id argue all the time about how qaum lut (people of lot) were actually not punished for homosexuality, that theres no actual mention of homosexuality, and that what is actually being criticised is them committing adultery (they were married men) & rape for power. i argued they werent even gay anyways and its been misconstrued for homophobic reasons.
i did this for a few years until i realised it was fruitless & theres no changing bigots, but looking at those interpretations at least did give me some kind of peace of mind that this idea of women being inferior and gay being a sin and all the other nonsense most muslims believe is at least not believed unanimously. so... idk how helpful it is but id recommend perhaps looking into that? it was part of my process & journey and maybe it'll at least bring you comfort and a peace of mind. the way ive seen religious muslims also think of it is like, it makes no sense to make gay people and then single us out for something we did not choose nor can change and just reaffirming the fact that if god does exist, then god would love gay people too. idk. good luck tho anon & i hope someone else has better input to provide
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tornad001 · 20 days ago
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what do we do if we're gender abolitionists? i feel like the majority of these ppl, without even realizing it or being able to name it as such, have landed on a rather interesting form of gender abolitionism.
forget trans ppl specifically for a sec and think more broadly of queer spaces. if a person who used to be a manly man and is now a girly girl is a woman in the exact same respect as a femboy-turned-butch lesbian is a woman in the exact same respect as a country gal who isn't particularly masc or fem is a woman in the exact same respect as a flamboyant chick who unironically wears drag-queen level makeup everywhere is a woman....
i think the trend ppl find themselves clueing into unconsciously is that the marker "woman" is just so grossly broad as to be meaningless. it doesn't say anything about who u are, what u like or dislike, what causes u support, how u engage with or perceive the world. it doesn't say anything about your relationship to your own sex, sexuality, gender, nothing. what does it actually meaningfully tell you about a person? does it give you insight into their lived experiences? does it even tell u all that much about the roles that've been thrust upon them by the patriarchy?
i get where trans ppl come from emotionally when they want to be validated in their gender, but im not sure that a gender abolitionist understanding of it is compatible with that kind of emotional validity, at least not without some mental acrobatics. is it invalidating to say to a trans woman "you have exactly as much claim to womanhood as everyone else" if they know that u think everyone, man, woman, or other has precisely the same claim to womanhood?
is it that "trans women can ONLY be women in a world where the word 'woman' holds no meaning" or is it that "we live in a world where the word 'woman' holds no meaning... AND trans women are women"? i know some ppl aren't gonna get the difference between those but hopefully the ones i care about understanding it do
as far as i can tell, the only real actual difference between a woman and someone who isn't a woman, is (tautologically) their desire to be associated with the word "woman". its more of a linguistic game than anything else and that's not a reality that a lot of ppl (much less trans ppl) are comfortable with. granted, a lot of them are ok with and in fact revel in that fact (myself among them)
idk just some thoughts i've been having
"Trans women are actually women for real, not in a metaphorical sense, not in a "anyone can be anything" sense, but genuinely actually make more taxonomic sense to classify in the category of women than any other group you could classify them in" is a position you'll find is pretty radical even in queer spaces
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fizzyphan · 10 days ago
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helloooo helloooo 💖
i hope ur christmas was well and that u got ur favourite presents <3
yes im hoping that everything regarding ur play gets sorted by january <3
i am gonna come across as so dumb but i don't know what newsies is either 🫣 but god shakespeare in a roofless theatre sounds so magical! i think i will always associate shakespeare with school because we had at least one shakespeare work every year and being a non native english speaker while having to learn old english was just a pain. i enjoyed shakespeare during uni tho! although i found more love for greek mythology there
i love hello kitty too!! please do share pictures of ur mugs if u feel comfortable i love looking at cute mugs <3
i'll need to find people to come mini golf with me but i'm definitely coming to u for all the best tips so that i can win hehe 😬
yeah wrapped was all over the place. but god noah really knows what he's doing with his writing, his songs have given me SO much writing inspiration it's ridiculous. and hozier is all time beloved, for the longest time i was obsessed with francesca and i got to see it live and i genuinely had goosebumps, he's such an incredible performer!
ooh that's amazing that they tour quite often! do the members also have solo albums or do they only release music as a band? how did u get into kpop and txt though? 👀
i'm glad to hear u got all ur shopping done! did everyone love the presents u got for them? were u able to send the present for ur friend as well?
i don't celebrate christmas but i do love visiting places and looking at all the gorgeous decor they have around. it feels so warm and filled with love and i love being cosied up sipping on hot choc! i wouldn't necessarily call it a tradition but back when i was home, for new years we would order pizza and just watch various countries ringing in the new year on the news!
the holiday is definitely a winter tradition, it's a must watch! and ooh matching pjs is very cute! do u have a pet and do u get pajamas for them as well?
my week was pretty good, i had work from home but didn't really have much to do so i relaxed a bit, went and got some clothes and now i'm gonna go buy some guavas because they're my absolute favourite fruit. which is urs? 👀
hope u have a lovely weekend beloved 💖
- s
hihi!!! sorry this took so long :( but it wass!! i got many wonderful things! and lets hope so for the show!
its not dumb dw! newsies is about the kids apart of the newspaper strike in 1899! its been my favorite since i was 4 hehe, and yes the roofless theatre is always my fav!!! i also love love greek mythology! i will def show pics of my mugs and other hello kitty things soon!!! ofc ofc
yess!! its so fun and honestly my biggest tip is just picture the ball going in the hole XD im not very good at advice lolol
oh wow that live sounds insane!! im so glad u got to see that! and i agreeee
sometimes they release solo stuff, txt not as much as some groups but the members cover solo songs a lot! i got into kpop in november 2020 with my sister! we had been planning on fully delving into it but never had the time so we finally decided too fully get into it together! i got into txt by hearing their music and seeing videos of them being funny together lol, its honestly one of the best things that has ever happened to me, it sounds cheesy but a lot of these kpop groups saved my life it feels like heh
yes! everyone seemed to love my gifts which im so glad for bcz its hard to shop for a few of my family members hah! and yes i was able to! she loved it :) she told me she was sending me something too! so im excited for that!
pizza and celebrations sounds so fun! my parents anniversary is on new years eve so they always celebrate by themselves for a bit so me and my siblings usually walk around and celebrate together for a couple hours!
i do have a dg! is name is oliver or oli hehe, he did have some pjs but unfortunately not matching ones T-T, we did get him a bandana for his collar that matched our pjs tho!
im glad your week was good! relaxing is so nice after getting things done, clothes shopping is fun! and i love guava too!! i love fruit so picking a favorite is hard, but id have to say i love apples, mangos and oranges!
i hope you have an amazing day and new years eve cant wait to keep talking!!! <3
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