#at least this time hes got a partner in trauma :)

[reds-skull]

Bringer of Demise - Chapter 3

[PREV PART] [AO3]

Here we fucking go... This chapter might sound familiar, if you read the side stories. It is called "Sky Tomb (Reburied)"

“What?!” Soap growls, “who the fuck gave ye the right teh-!”

“Soap!” Price stops him before he can curse this cunt to high hell. The Captain turns to Novikov with a cold demand, “explain.”

Novikov nods, “I was requested to give my opinion on Lumity about two weeks ago by General Woods and Miss Laswell. As we don’t have protocols for this situation, I advised them to keep you, MacTavish and Ghost, separate as to not create new changes.”

“And why, exactly, would a change need to be prevented?” Ghost mutters, his back ramrod straight as he looms over the Doctor.

The posturing doesn’t make Novikov falter, “just as I would not allow an untested revenant with powers we have yet to record on field, I cannot allow you to possibly develop new ones. Today proved to me that, separately, you are stable. As we don’t have sufficient time to determine it… I have to recommend you to refrain from coming into contact while using your powers.”

Ghost scoffs, glaring at Laswell, “you signed on this bullshit?”

“Doctor Novikov is the best Spiritulogist we have, Ghost. He’s likely the closest to figuring out Lumity.”

“Ah can tell ye no one is feckin’ close to figuring out any Reaper, let alone Lumity.” Soap says bitterly, smug satisfaction spreading through him when he sees that the words make Novikov’s face sour.

He can also see Ghost’s eyes widen, before he turns them to Price and grunts, “order me, then, Captain.”

“Pardon?”

“Order me to stay away from Johnny on field, sir. Sign your bloody name on this.” Ghost challenges.

The Captain sighs, breaking eye contact for a moment, “you will not use Limbo around the Sergeant on field. That’s an order.”

“Understood, sir.” Ghost doesn’t seem surprised, “permission to be dismissed?”

Price’s expression makes Soap almost wince in sympathy. The feeling of regret spreads through the air as if someone doused the room with it, “granted. Don’t be late for the helo.”

Ghost doesn’t wait for Price to finish his sentence, before stepping heavily towards the door. He takes Soap’s shoulder and drags him along with a muttered, “on me, Sergeant.” Soap sends a confused look to the Captain, who simply waves him off.

He takes them outside, to the small space between buildings. Soap gets reminded of the conversation they had here, all those months ago.

“They think just because you died once, they can push and pull you like a puppet…”

“… Your strings are going to get tangled eventually.”

Soap doubted him then, even as his resolve crumbled every day Ghost didn’t talk to him.

He didn’t know just how true these words were.

They come to a stop there, Ghost breathing harshly, his grip on Soap’s shoulder shaky. Soap pushes him forward, until his back meets the wall.

Soap tries to think of something to say, anything to calm Simon. He wants to promise that they’ll be fine. He wants to tell him with no shadow of a doubt, that they will persevere, no matter what the future holds.

But he doesn’t want to lie to him.

So instead he asks, “are ye mad at the Captain?”

Simon shakes his head, “no. I know… know he had no choice. Brass has been on our case since Mexico.”

“Then why did ye leave?”

“The traitor.” Simon says, “thinking it might be that fucking Doctor…”

Soap thinks back to the interactions they had. If Novikov really is working with Fate… “Thought they had to be a revenant, not like Reapers talk teh humans.”

“He wouldn’t need to talk to a Reaper, would he? Its revenant will do just fine.”

Soap takes a step back, renewed determination coursing through him, “then we need to tell them! If Laswell looks into him, if Novikov really is the traitor, she will find something!”

He gets pulled before he can continue, “and reveal our cards? Don’t think so, Sergeant.” Simon wraps his arms around Soap’s shoulders, resting his chin on his head, “if we’re wrong, we just let Makarov know we know about the rat. If we are…”

“It could make Novikov run before we can catch him.” Soap sighs, hands coming up to grasp at Simon’s jacket, seeking cold, pale skin.

He feels hands tug at his laces, and his heart twists uncomfortably. “Are ye really gonna listen to Price’s order?”

“As long as you’re not in a life-threatening situation.” the arms around him tighten. Soap’s sneak under the jacket, running fingers up and down Simon’s spine, making him sag against him. “You better not explode yourself when I’m not around.”

Soap doesn’t answer, opting to nod. He doesn’t need to say the same goes for Simon; he’d burn anything that dares endanger him.

He will do his best to avoid injuries, he always does. But when it comes down to it, only one of them can bounce back from a headshot.

Soap can’t promise he won’t jump in front of a bullet for him.

They go back to base when the hour strikes 1500. Ghost separated from him, telling him he’ll talk to Price about the Doctor after Soap convinces him.

That leaves him to pack for the both of them. By now, Soap knows where Ghost stores all one billion of his knifes (seriously, how many knives does one man need? Bastard has steamin’ supernatural powers). He drops the rucksack in Ghost’s barrack, and gets to the tarmac.

At 1550, Gaz comes running by, his pack safely floating behind his shoulder. “Oi Soap! Price and Ghost are still in their ‘Super Secret Meeting’ or whatever, so we’re going to take the first helo together!”

“First helo?”

Gaz drops the rucksack beside him, already floating a few inches off the ground, “yeah, Laswell told us after you left, they’re planning on sending some supplies for the ULF to use.”

Right. Karim’s people probably need all the support they can get, after they lost Graves’ shadows. As much as he hated the bastard, he can admit his powers were convenient to have in battle.

The helo touches down, and Soap elbows Gaz, “och, we don’t need the old bastards anyway, do we?”

Kyle laughs as they board, “don’t let Price hear you call him old, he’s gonna make you run laps in Urzikstan.”

“Ye can’t hide shite from him, I bet he’s scrapin’ through our brains as we speak.” Soap cackles.

They pause for a moment, half expecting Price’s voice to boom in their heads, but it seems the Captain is too busy to listen in on their inane conversation.

Soap and Gaz share a look, before exploding with laughter. It feels good, to pretend everything’s fine for a few minutes. Their giggling dies down when the helo takes off, and Soap watches as the base get smaller and smaller.

He wonders how Ghost is doing.

Soap is used to long flight times, after several years in the SAS where he was often sent to opposite sides of the world on a moment’s notice. The almost seven-hour flight to Urzikstan is mostly spend chatting with Gaz, sleeping, or observing how the clouds gather above Asia as a storm brews.

He wakes Gaz up when the pilot announces over comms that they’re landing in 20. Gaz hates being asleep for that.

“How far behind do you think Price an’ Ghost are?” Kyle asks between yawns.

“Can’t be more than an hour, why?”

“I need a bloody shower before debrief,” Gaz sniffs, “and I don’t think I’m the only one.”

Soap gasps, “piss off!” he reaches over to shove at Gaz, before freezing.

Chk… chk… chk…

That sound… Soap smells at the air, and there…

It bursts under his tongue, as the clicks gain speed, an acrid taste he’s grown to know more than anyone. Gaz is calling out something, words lost on his ears, but the tone reads confused.

He looks down. In the row in front of them, several duffle bags have been shoved under the empty seats. Soap turns his senses to the one closest to the pilot. Moths are clinging to the rough fabric, embers glinting off the metal hull of the helo.

Chk-chk-chk-chk-chk-

He places the signs; HMX, Highly Melting Explosive, burns hot enough to eat straight through steel-

Soap jumps from his seat, burning the harness that kept him tied, and slams into Gaz. Kyle opens his mouth to ask what the fuck is going on, but he doesn’t get the chance.

The explosive goes off. The cabin is engulfed with flames, so bright his eyes burn, the following shockwave knocking both of them into the helo’s wall, Soap feels his body burning, his forehead hitting the hull-

And he loses consciousness.

The howling wind greets Soap when he wakes up. Breath stolen from his lungs, his eyes snap open, taking in the falling sky, mangled pieces of metal burning above him.

The full moon illuminates the dark clouds below him, when he looks down. It all feels so familiar, the plunge, charred hands grasping at air, the world reduced to a swirl of colors. He watches burning moths trail behind him, chasing the lingering heat of the explosion they so crave.

The moths lead him to Gaz. Unconscious, he too is falling.

Gaz is falling. Gaz is falling.

There’s a mangled part of the helo between them. Soap tucks his arms close to his chest, screaming as his burnt skin shifts with the movement. His plan works, however, and he manages to reach the half-molten steel.

It makes his palm bubble and sear, but Soap clenches his jaw, and with a flick of the wrist, explodes the metal.

It gives him just enough momentum to catch Gaz, their bodies spinning in the air.

The explosion was the cause of their fall, meaning Soap will survive, and even if it wasn’t, he would’ve just exploded himself on impact.

Soap will survive this. But Gaz isn’t made to fucking survive.

They fall through the sheet of clouds, water droplets caressing his overheated back, steaming and turning back into water. The world beneath them is dark, the only meager light comes from whatever hell is raining on them, and the ever-flaming moths.

He manages to grasp at Gaz’s tacvest, shaking him as much as he can.

“Kyle!!!” Soap yells, his words almost inaudible over the wind, “Gaz! Ye have teh wake up!!!”

The ground approaches them fast, desperation clawing at Soap’s guts. He feels tears run up his face, as he cries, “I won’t watch ye die, Garrick!!!”

This can’t be it. This can’t be the way Kyle goes.

“C’mon… Don’t do this teh me… DON’T DO THIS TEH ME!!!!!”

Soap pulls Kyle closer, tucking his slacken face beside his. He knows it won’t save him, but he turns as best as he can, so when they crash to the earth, Soap would hit it first.

“Please…” he whispers, the moths the only witness to his despair.

It can’t be more than a minute until they land, and in that minute Soap curses himself more than any enemy he ever felled.

Always strong enough to survive, never strong enough to save anyone.

It is then he hears a scream echo in his mind, so powerful he wants to cover his ears.

“SERGEANT. WAKE UP.”

Price.

Gravity switches on them, Soap’s stomach lurching painfully, his breath caught, shoulders creaking like they’re two seconds from dislocating.

Kyle’s hazel-brown eyes stare at him, wide with fear. 

Gaz drops them both, Soap rolling to the side to vomit on the ground. He heaves, eyes watering once again as nothing but bile comes out.

Two hands grab at his shoulders, turning him around and making him yelp with pain.

It doesn’t seem like Gaz registers it, or his twisted expression, not when he’s near hyperventilating, the hands on him shaking.

“You’re- you’re not dead, Soap- y-you’re not dead, please, you can’t be dead-”

Soap swallows down the scream that claws up his throat, when Kyle’s hands tighten over his burnt shoulders. He’s sure he looks dead, he feels the burns go to the bone in some places. At least his face is fine, this time.

“Ah’m not dead, Gaz. Yer okay… we’re okay.”

Kyle stops his muttering, eyes brimming with tears. Soap wants to pull him into a hug, but not only that will probably make him pass out, he doesn’t want Gaz to see just how damaged his palms are.

“We’re on our way, Gaz, Soap, don’t move from your position.” Price relays to them.

Soap shakes away the black spots creeping into his vision. Fuck, he might pass out even without that hug, “copy, Captain.” he answers all the same.

Gaz jumps when he slumps forward. Fucking adrenaline crash.

“S-Soap-?!”

“Ah’m fine, jus’ gimme a mo’ teh heal…” Soap grunts. He digs his fingers into his palms, feels the muscles twitching with stabbing pain, and straightens.

Kyle seems lost in thought, he assumes Price is calming him. Soap looks up, moths still making their way down with what’s left of the helo.

It doesn’t take long for Price and Ghost to arrive.

Ghost is wearing his full getup, skull mask and all, but even like this Soap can tell he’s livid. He jumps out of the helo before it lands, running towards them.

His body started stitching itself together by now, muscles failing him a few times as they reconnect. It made Kyle startle every time, thinking Soap was finally kicking it. His palms don’t get the chance to heal, not with Soap using the pain to stay awake. He couldn’t leave Gaz like this.

Ghost crouches down between them, casting a hesitant look at him, and catching Gaz’s shoulder to give him a shake. Kyle has shut down on him, absolutely lost in his mind, reacting to nothing besides Soap’s bouts of weakness.

Price joins them, waving Ghost off, “I got him. Go.”

Soap meets Ghost’s dark eyes, barely visible in the Urzik night.

“Johnny…” Simon reaches for him, and he instinctively flinches when a gloved hand hovers over his back, “where does it hurt?”

Soap gives him a half-laugh, “everywhere, LT…”

Simon scans him, noting his gruesome state, and nods, reaching around to pull something from his pack. Soap raises an eyebrow when he sees it’s a syringe. “Wha’s that?”

“Morphine.”

Morphine? He doesn’t need that-

Price cuts him off, “Christ, kid, I don’t know how you’re bloody upright with the amount of pain you’re in. Give him the fuckin’ shot, Lieutenant.”

“Copy.” Ghost picks up his left hand, turning the palm up. He freezes. “Fuckin’ hell, Johnny…”

Soap looks away, hating the way Simon sounds disappointed. He fuckin’ promised him not a day ago he’d do his best to not injure himself, and here he is, stinking of burnt flesh.

Simon cleans the inner side of his elbow, and lines up the needle, “have you taken Morphine before?”

“... No.”

“Might make you sick.” Simon presses on the plunger, a cool feeling instantly spreading through Soap’s arm.

He shudders. Feels fuckin’ weird is what it is, “good thing Ah puked mah lunch earlier.” the joking tone falls flat when another round of pulling muscles makes him twitch, and in turn jostles his thin skin until it rips.

Simon circles him, and Soap hears the breath he intakes when he finally sees the wounds up close. His hand hasn’t left his, and it tightens minutely. Soap didn’t see them, doesn’t want to make anyone describe them either, but he’d be surprised if his ribs aren’t exposed.

“What happened?” Simon asks, voice strained.

Soap sighs, “someone planted a bomb in one o’ the duffle bags. Enough teh take down the helo with no survivors. Only reason Ah knew it was there was ‘cause of the timed mechanism.”

He turns his head to look at Simon, after he gets no answer. He finds him staring at Price.

“Someone knew we were gonna be there, LT.” Soap continues.

“Not you.” Price says slowly, “I was originally going to fly with Gaz, before Ghost asked to speak with me.”

…fuck. Soap looks down, at his shaking hands, flames weak as they burst from his fingertips.

If it was Price on that flight with Gaz instead of him… Neither of them would’ve survived.

[caluupin]

Finished TGAAC around 2 1/2 weeks ago but only finished the doodles today. but still, here ya go!

[angeltism]

not 2 keep posting literally Only Vents (and like 1 normal thing once a day) but it's nights like these I reminisce about my abuser and wonder all that "what if"s

all the sui tw/cw tags r because of shit I wrote in the tags

[jellybonbons]

Shared Apartment, Shared Feelings

Leon Kennedy x gn afab!reader

CW: 18+ (mdni), virgin reader, college roommate au, retired fuckboy!leon, vendetta trio (chris, leon & rebecca), talks about virginity/relationship/trauma (car accident), fluff/angst/smut, a lot of kissing, dick piercing, oral job (afab receiving), pussy slapping, thigh jobs, aftercare.

Words: 7.4k

A/N: special thanks to my wife @roseglazedlens for beta reading and helping me with the banners <3 muah muah

Without a doubt, college is such a drag. It’s a wonder you haven’t given up on yourself already, with all the assignments piling up, submissions one after another, professors breathing down your neck, dealing with crappy groupmates and customers from your part-time job. But here you are, almost three years deep into your degree, with no turning back now.

You sighed, feeling the strain in your fingers from typing away all day. The pressure was real with an assignment due in just a few days. You tried to unwind with a book and music, but the impending thought of reading through another paragraph might just make your head explode. 

It’s been known that college can get pretty lonely at times. Sure, you've got friends here and there, but they're all caught up in their own stuff, on top of all that, their partners. This is when you wish you had one yourself. You've had your fair share of relationships or flings in the past, but it never really went beyond first base – blame it on your commitment issues and insecurities.

Virginity is a funny thing, isn't it? Some people don't really give it much thought, while others, like yourself, see it as a significant part of who they are. To you, it's more than just a physical state – it's about vulnerability, about letting someone in and truly being seen. Maybe that's why your relationships never seem to last long. You realise now that you settled for them, not for yourself. You were caught up in the idea of a relationship rather than being honest with yourself about what you truly wanted and needed. 

Heading into college, you finally found yourself crushing on someone – your roommate, Leon Kennedy. Your first meeting was awkward, to say the least. It started with your classmate-turned-friend, Rebecca Chambers, asking if you wanted to live with her and two of her friends since they had an extra room. Without hesitation, you agreed – after all, why not? Splitting the rent between four people and having a bigger apartment than your current one sounded like a win-win. But when you finally met her two friends, it felt like you stumbled upon an adorable squirrel with her two guard dogs.

You could definitely say that Leon and his other friend, Chris Redfield, were pretty protective of her, but Rebecca reassured them that she trusted you and thought you were a lovely person – bless her heart. From that day on, the tension slowly dissipated, and all of you learned how to live with each other, quirks and all. If there was ever a disagreement, Chris would call for a 'family meeting' to sort things out.

You've grown close to both Chris and Rebecca, but with Leon, it's different. He's close, yet there's still a sense of distance.

—

Exhibit A: 

The huge, comfortable couch in the living room was decorated with a mismatched assortment of decorative pillows, giving the area a homely, well-worn feel. The walls were covered in posters of bands, and a shelf next to it held a tidy collection of DVDs. Game controllers, remote controls, and empty food wrappers were frequently strewn all over the coffee table – no matter how many times Rebecca told Chris and Leon to clean them up. The room had the ideal ambience for movie evenings thanks to the floor lamp's warm glow and the fairy lights. 

You noticed that Leon would always have your favourite snacks on hand, without you even needing to ask. But then again, he made sure to get snacks for everyone else too. You never once mentioned your favourite snacks to him – you guess he might have overheard you talking to Rebecca in the dining area while he was playing video games with Chris in the living room that one time.

"Here," Leon said, passing you the brightly wrapped package after doling out snacks to the others.

“Thanks,” you said, taking them from Leon. “How did you know these are my favourites?”

He shrugged casually. “Maybe I'm just good at picking up on things.” 

"But I've never told you," you pointed out, genuinely curious.

Leon hesitated for a moment, his gaze meeting yours. "I've got my ways of finding out,” he replied cryptically before turning away to grab a drink.

You raised an eyebrow, not entirely convinced by his response. “Oh, well, thanks again.”

"Oh my god! It's been so long since I've eaten those," Rebecca, who was cuddled up next to you, exclaimed, her eyes lighting up as she gazed at your snacks. You chuckled at her enthusiasm.

"You want some?" you offered, opening the snack package. 

"Yes, please!" she eagerly replied.

If you had turned back, you would have noticed Leon's ears turning a faint shade of red, but you were too focused on sharing the snacks with Rebecca to notice his reaction.

Exhibit B: 

Amidst the chaos of exam week, you and Chris had taken over the living room for a study session. Notes, textbooks, and Post-it notes were strewn everywhere, creating a cluttered workspace. Rebecca had wisely chosen to isolate herself in her room, knowing that if she joined you two, it would devolve into gossip rather than studying. As for Leon, he preferred the solitude of studying alone.

By 2 am, Chris had already succumbed to exhaustion, snoring away on the couch. Meanwhile, you were hunched over your notes on the floor, frustration building as you re-read the material for what felt like the hundredth time. A headache was starting to form, exacerbated by the late hour and Chris' snoring.

Lost in your work, you didn't notice Leon's quiet approach until he set a hot mug of green tea on the coffee table beside you. "Take a break," he said casually, before moving over to Chris and gently nudging him awake, signaling that it was time for him to call it a night.

"Hey, wake up," Leon whispered.

Chris grunted in response, rolling over to his side and snoring loudly. Leon couldn't help but roll his eyes and deliver a – gentle – punch to Chris's arm, hoping it would be enough to jolt him awake.

"Ouch! Damn, Leon, that hurts," Chris groaned, rubbing his arm where Leon had punched him.

Leon, unapologetic, raised an eyebrow at Chris. "Maybe if you didn't snore like a freight train, I wouldn't have to resort to violence." 

Chris, still rubbing his arm, shot you a playful glare. "Well, if someone didn't study so quietly, maybe I wouldn't need to fill the room with my soothing snores."

"Don't look at me, I'm just trying to study peacefully," you retorted, raising your hand in mock surrender while cradling the mug in your other.

"Yeah, right. Your snores are like lullabies, Chris. I almost fell asleep while making my late-night snack,” Leon said with a slight smirk. 

Chris mockingly gasped. "You wound me, Leon. My snores are an art form." 

You chuckled. "Well, gentlemen, whether it's an art form or a lullaby, it's time for the masterpiece to take a break. Chris, go get some beauty sleep." Chris nodded.

"You too, don't stay up too late," Leon said to you, shooting a glance in your direction before grabbing Chris by his shirt.

"I'm up, I'm up," Chris protested, his voice muffled as Leon playfully put him in a headlock and guided him towards his room.

You couldn't help but chuckle at their antics, taking another sip of your tea as you watched them disappear down the hallway.

—

You found yourself in a dilemma. Leon had always been just a friend, but lately, you couldn't shake off the growing attraction you felt towards him. It wasn't just his physical appearance that drew you in, although his blue eyes, his piercings and the little details about him were certainly captivating. It was the way he was always there for you, that’s what friends are for, right?

You discovered that you couldn't stop thinking about him, day or night. His presence seemed to linger in your mind, occupying your thoughts even when you were supposed to be focusing on something else. You couldn't help but notice the way his eyes lit up when he talked about his video game strategies or the way he would absentmindedly run his hand through his hair when he was deep in thought. And those moles scattered across his skin, you found yourself itching to trace your fingers over them, to memorise every little detail of him. 

But despite your growing feelings, you were hesitant to act on them. You cherished the ‘friendship’ you shared with Leon and you were afraid of risking it by admitting your true feelings. So for now, you kept your emotions buried deep within, hoping that they would eventually fade away – but they didn’t.

— 

Leon had been sceptical when Rebecca first introduced you to him and Chris. He thought you might have ulterior motives, using her to get closer to him for his body. After all, he had a reputation as a fuckboy, although he considered himself a retired one now. That's why both him and Chris were so protective of her; he didn't want to drag Rebecca into his messy past again.

However, Leon was genuinely surprised when he discovered that you didn't know much about his past. While you were aware of his existence, you weren't deeply immersed in campus drama, preferring to spend your time online with other interests. You treated him like any other person, and he found himself grateful for that. In the past, he had been the worst version of himself, indulging in alcohol, weed, and sex, using his body to get whatever he wanted. But hey, in this economy, whatever works. 

He had grown accustomed to people using him, whether it was for physical gratification or emotional support. It was the darkest chapter of his history, and his once-close friendship with Chris and Rebecca had deteriorated to the point where they were practically strangers, but that was six months ago. Now they were back to being three peas in a pod, their bond stronger than ever.

Then came that one fateful night – that one awful night – when he had drunk too much and made the reckless decision to drive home while intoxicated from a party. What great friends he had. 

As Leon stirred awake in the hospital room, the rhythmic beeping of machines punctured the air, accompanied by the clinical scent of antiseptic. His gaze fell upon Rebecca, slumbering peacefully in a chair beside his bed, though the fatigue evident in the bags beneath her eyes spoke of restless nights spent by his side. Summoning what little strength he could muster, he attempted to rouse her with a feeble movement of his finger.

Suddenly, Chris burst into the room, bearing two cups of coffee in hand. The sight of Leon awake nearly caused him to fumble the cups, hastily setting them down on a nearby table before rushing to his friend's bedside with evident concern. Rebecca, startled by Chris's sudden entrance and booming voice, blinked awake in a daze.

“Leon, you’re awake!” Rebecca's smile lit up the room as she clasped Leon's uninjured hand in hers.

Leon attempted to speak, but his dry throat betrayed him. Swift to notice, Chris quickly retrieved a water bottle and a straw for Leon. While Rebecca, with practised ease adjusted the bed to a more comfortable position, allowing Leon to sit up slightly. As soon as the straw touched his lips, Leon didn't hesitate to take a much-needed sip, the cool water soothing his parched throat.

Once he had quenched his thirst, Leon managed a weak smile of gratitude, his gaze shifting between Chris and Rebecca. "Thanks, guys," he murmured hoarsely, his voice still rough from disuse. 

"Was anyone else hurt?” he asked anxiously, recalling the events of the previous night with a sense of dread. He knew he had made a terrible mistake by driving under the influence, and he dreaded the thought of anyone else being harmed because of his actions. 

Chris exchanged a glance with Rebecca before answering, his expression sombre. "It was just you, Leon," he replied gently, placing a comforting hand on Leon's shoulder. "You're lucky, man. Could've been a lot worse."

Rebecca nodded in agreement, her worry evident in her eyes. "We're just glad you're okay," she added softly, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze.

For once in his life, he let his tears flow freely, openly crying in front of them. There were many reasons for his tears, but two stood out: their unwavering support despite his past behaviour and the stark realisation of how close he came to losing everything. It felt like a wake-up call, a sign that he needed to change his ways.

As both Chris and Rebecca leaned in for an embrace, he felt the warmth of their love enveloping him. That moment marked a new beginning for them. They took turns caring for him, offering support and encouragement every step of the way. And with their help, he began to see a therapist to address his trauma and work through his issues, determined to become a better version of himself.

He knew he wasn't perfect, but he was steadily making progress.

—

You were like a breath of fresh air, bringing a sense of normalcy to Leon's life outside his close circle of friends. The more he observed you, the more smitten he became. He found himself falling hard for you, enchanted by the melody of your voice and the way your smile lit up the room. Even when you laughed at his silly jokes while Chris and Rebecca remained unimpressed, it only deepened his infatuation. From your quick wit to your undeniable charm, he felt like a lovesick puppy in your presence. 

Many moments with you left a lasting impression on Leon. One night, he had fallen asleep on the couch, and you had just returned from a night shift. Spotting Leon asleep, you crept, careful not to disturb him. You gently placed your belongings on the dining table before quietly slipping into his room to retrieve a blanket.

You returned with the blanket and draped them over him, ensuring he stayed warm throughout the night. As you crouched down beside him, you couldn't resist the urge to tuck a loose strand of his hair behind his ear, smiling softly at the peaceful expression on his sleeping face. 

As you quietly left the room and retreated to your own, Leon being the light sleeper he was, felt a rush of emotions flooding through him. His heart raced as he became aware of your proximity, even in his slumber. The gentle touch of your hand and the warmth of your presence lingered in his mind, leaving him feeling strangely comforted yet unsettled all at once. It was a moment he couldn't shake, stirring something within him that he couldn't quite put into words.

These mixed emotions were still present during another memorable moment, when you, Chris, Rebecca, and Leon gathered for a pizza dinner. Chris, in his usual generous fashion, ordered a variety – cheese, pepperoni, and BBQ pizzas. The living room transformed into a makeshift dining area as you all settled in to watch a movie while enjoying the feast. Despite the lively atmosphere, Leon found himself quietly observing you, the feelings from the previous night still lingering in his mind, adding a layer of depth to the otherwise ordinary gathering.

Whatever, he shook his thoughts away.

As the pizza boxes opened, Leon grabbed a slice of the BBQ pizza, only to discover a surplus of onions. His displeasure was evident and despite his efforts to discreetly pick off the offending toppings, the struggle did not go unnoticed by you.

Your laughter bubbled up as you observed Leon's onion-removing antics. "Not a fan of onions, huh?" you teased.

"Nah, I don’t like the extra crunch," Leon replied, continuing to pick them off.

You extended your plate towards him. "Just give them to me; I like onions," you offered with a smile.

"Really? Thanks," Leon responded, handing you the onion-laden slices.

"You need to stop being such a picky eater, Leon," Chris chimed in between bites of his pizza.

Leon shook his head defiantly. "Nope, not happening," he retorted, earning a round of laughter from the group.

Rebecca joined in, adding with a playful grin, "Hey, at least now we know who the real onion lover is around here!" 

After your laughter died down, you couldn't help but sneak a glance at Leon – you loved onions, but little did they know that you had a particular disdain for red onions.

Despite all this, Leon couldn't shake the memories that haunted him. Beneath the surface of his laidback demeanour lay a vulnerability he had yet to reveal to anyone outside his close circle of friends.

It was a sunny morning as you and Leon walked side by side to class, chatting idly about your schedules. But then your conversation was abruptly interrupted by the screech of tyres from behind, a sharp, piercing sound that seemed to echo through Leon's bones.

Without warning, Leon's steps faltered, his body freezing in place as his breath caught in his throat. His eyes widened with fear, his muscles tensing as if preparing for impact.

You sensed the shift in his demeanour immediately, instincts kicking in as you turned to face him, concern etched across your features. "Leon?" you called softly, reaching out to touch his arm. "Are you okay?"

"Don't," he said sharply, his voice tinged with a mixture of desperation and frustration. "Please, just... don't touch me."

You froze, your heart sinking at the rejection. You had never seen Leon react like this before, and the realisation only fueled your determination to help him.

"Okay," you said softly, pulling your hand back. "I won't touch you. But I'm here, Leon. You're not alone."

Leon's breaths came in short, ragged gasps, his gaze fixed on the ground as he struggled to regain control of his racing thoughts.

Thinking quickly, you searched for another way to reach him. You remembered the breathing exercises you learned from the internet, the rhythmic pattern designed to calm the mind in moments of distress.

"Leon," you said gently, your voice a steady anchor in the storm of his panic. "Listen to me. We're going to try something, okay? Just focus on my voice."

Leon nodded hesitantly, his gaze flickering up to meet yours.

"Close your eyes," you instructed, your own voice calm and measured. "Now, take a deep breath in through your nose... and out through your mouth. Good. Now, let's do it again. In... and out."

Together, both of you repeated the breathing exercises; Leon's tense muscles gradually relaxing with each steady breath. You kept your voice low and soothing, guiding him through the process with gentle encouragement.

The chaotic noise of the campus faded into the background, replaced by the steady rhythm of your shared breaths. And with each passing moment, Leon felt the grip of panic loosening its hold, replaced by a sense of calm and clarity.

"Thank you," Leon whispered as he finally opened his eyes, his voice hoarse with overwhelming emotions.

 "Anytime.” You smiled softly at him.

—

You were attractive, considerate, attentive, but sometimes sarcastic — all the more reason to love you. So imagine his surprise when, during one of your deep conversations, you dropped the bombshell: "I'm still a virgin."

Leon's reaction was immediate. "Wait, what?" His eyes widened in disbelief, and he nearly choked on the iced tea Rebecca had made for everyone.

You couldn't help but smirk at his reaction, finding his surprise somewhat amusing. "Yeah, I know, right?" you replied casually, trying to downplay the moment. "Just never felt the rush, I guess."

Leon's expression softened, his initial shock giving way to an understanding. "Well, that's... unexpected," he admitted, his voice laced with a mixture of surprise and curiosity. "But hey, it's your choice, and there's nothing wrong with that."

"Yeah," you said, taking a sip of the iced tea. You couldn't help but grimace as the sweetness hit your taste buds; Rebecca had gone a bit overboard with the sugar again. “I guess, I just have a hard time trusting people to truly see me, you get it?” you said, revealing a vulnerability that Leon hadn't seen before. 

“Just the idea of letting someone see a vulnerable side of you and then, things fall apart, and that person is not in your life anymore... it's terrifying."

Leon nodded thoughtfully, the flicker of a reassuring smile appearing on his lips. "I get it," he responded softly, his eyes reflecting understanding. 

"It's hard to open up when you've been hurt before. But not everyone is the same, you know? And sometimes, taking that risk can lead to something beautiful."

"Yeah, but I’m not ready to take that risk," you pondered, your voice tinged with uncertainty.

Leon leaned forward, his expression gentle. "That's okay," he said. "It's all about timing, and when you're ready, you'll know. Until then, just focus on being true to yourself." If the old Leon heard this, he would cringe in disgust at how poetic he has become. 

“Aw, look at you, Mr. Wise man,” you teased, playfully punching his shoulder.

“Hey, I have experience, okay,” he chuckled, offering a playful wink. "Life's full of surprises, and you never know when the right person might come along." Leon thought to himself, hoping silently that he could be that person for you.

To be your person — it was a dream he cherished deeply. He already felt privileged enough to see you with your dishevelled hair every morning, to enjoy the breakfasts you made, to hear you humming to yourself as you cleaned the apartment, and to witness all the little quirks that made you... you.

Like the way you always insisted on starting your day with a cup of hot warm water because of its health benefits. Or how you had a habit of tapping your fingers on any surface whenever you were anxious. The way you collect little trinkets and gift them to others because they reminded you of them, or how you could never resist stopping to take pictures of the sky when it looked especially pretty. The way you scrunch your nose when you laugh, and how you always double-knot your shoelaces because "you can't be too careful,” even though they somehow always come undone, so he has to tie them for you again — cue to Rebecca and Chris giggling quietly at the back.

“Yeah, who knows?” you replied with a smile, stopping him from his daydreaming state. 

Leon looked into your eyes, a gentle warmth spreading through his chest. The world around you seemed to fade away, leaving just the two of you at that moment. Your smiles softened, and a comfortable silence settled between you. Time felt like it slowed down as you both gazed at each other, the unspoken words and hidden shared feelings hanging in the air.

However, the moment was cut short when cock-block Chris slid the balcony doors open, surprising you guys. 

"Hey, sorry to interrupt," Chris said, his voice breaking the momentary silence. "But I thought you might want to join us for board games. Rebecca's been bugging me to drag you both inside.”

You chuckled at Chris's interruption. "Sure, sounds like fun," you replied, shooting a playful glance at Leon.

Leon grinned in response, a twinkle in his eye as he nodded in agreement. "Let's go then," he said, rising from his seat and motioning for you to follow. 

“Can’t wait to beat you in Monopoly,” you added with a mischievous grin, earning a playful scoff from Leon.

“Dream on,” Leon replied with a playful smirk, grabbing both his and your drink before heading back inside.

“Hey, we know Rebecca is the master of Monopoly,” Chris chimed in.

"Yeah, you’re right, she always bankrupts us within the first hour," you agreed with a laugh.

"Alright, let's see if we can finally overthrow the reigning champion," Leon said with determination, leading the way back inside.

—

You should have been spending your weekend with friends, but alas, the call of assignments beckoned you to spend the week in your room. Your fingers moved on autopilot as you typed away on your laptop, nearing the end of your essay. All that remained were the conclusion and the references. 

This was the second time you had to redo this assignment. Your professor, Dr. Wesker, critiqued it during the tutorial, and it fell short of his expectations, so you had to incorporate the points you had missed. You made a mental note to give him three stars in the end-of-semester review – that being generous — and to punch Chris because he said Wesker’s class was easy. No, it was not; Wesker made sure to run the class like the Navy.

As the evening turned into night, you fueled your essay-writing spree with a touch of spite. The anticipation of going to the new jazz bar in your area with your friends was the added motivation. Empty instant coffee cans littered your desk, proving your determination. In the apartment, it was just you and Leon; Chris was visiting his sister, Claire, while Rebecca was out on a date with Billy. Helping Rebecca get ready had only made you more jealous of her evening out. Ever the sweetheart, she noticed you were down and promised to bring back treats for you as a reward.

The apartment felt unusually quiet, with only the hum of your laptop and the distant sounds of city life filtering through the windows. The silence was a stark reminder of the fun you were missing out on. Yet, there was a strange comfort in knowing Leon was just in the other room, a silent presence that somehow made the tedious task of essay writing a bit more bearable.

However, the universe was not on your side as your old laptop finally decided to give up on you. Despite all your efforts — charging, troubleshooting, and pleading — it refused to turn back on. "No, no, no, no!" you exclaimed, punctuating each word with a frustrated slam of your hand against the desk. Scratch that, Dr. Wesker is getting only one star and a long paragraph in the comment section.

Hearing the commotion from Leon’s bedroom, he paused his game and rushed into your room. "What happened?!" he asked, concern etched on his face.

You looked at him with tears streaming down your face. "My laptop won't open," you said.

His face softened as he approached you. "I'm assuming you've tried everything," he remarked.

"Yes!" you exclaimed, frustration evident in your voice.

"Okay, okay, calm down," Leon reassured you, his tone soothing. "What did you use to do your assignment on?" he inquired, rolling your chair closer to him and kneeling down in front of you.

You took a deep breath, trying to steady your emotions. "Google Docs," you replied.

He nodded reassuringly. "Okay, they have an auto-save feature, so your work is still there. In the meantime, you can use mine." Leon wiped away your tears with his thumb. "I know a guy who can fix your laptop, so you don't have to worry."

Leon's comforting touch eased your tension slightly. "Thanks," you said, your voice wavering with emotion. "I'm sorry for lashing out. It's just….it’s been a stressful week."

He offered you a sympathetic smile. "No need to apologise," he said softly. "We all have our moments.”

"You're too good for me," you whispered, your gratitude evident in your eyes.

Leon's sympathetic expression softened further as he gently brushed a strand of hair away from your face. "Hey, don't say that," he replied earnestly. "You're amazing, and anyone would be lucky to have you as a friend. And if you ever need someone to talk to or help you through tough times, I'm here for you, always.”

“I could say the same thing about you,” you said softly as you wiped the remaining tears away.

There was a moment of silence, filled only by the sound of the gentle hum of the air conditioner and the soft rhythm of your breathing. Then, you hesitated before speaking again.

"Leon... there's something I've been meaning to tell you," you began, your voice barely above a whisper. "I know we're friends, but... lately, I've been feeling something more. I can't shake this feeling that there's something between us, something deeper?"

Leon's eyes widened slightly in surprise, but he didn't interrupt as you continued.

"I understand if you don't feel the same way," you said, the words tumbling out in a rush as you fidget with your fingers, feeling vulnerable and exposed. "I just needed to get it off my chest."

For a moment, there was only silence as Leon processed your words. Then, he reached out and gently took your hand in his, stopping you from fidgeting. On the inside, he was literally jumping up and down and screaming internally. His heart raced with excitement and joy, but he kept his composure, squeezing your hand gently to convey his feelings.

“I... I've been feeling the same way," he admitted quietly, his voice filled with emotion. "I didn't know if you felt the same, but… I've been wanting to tell you how I feel for a while now." His hands felt warm against your cold ones, a reassuring touch that sent a shiver down your spine.

"But are you sure you want to be with someone like me? I’m a bit damaged,” he confessed, his voice carrying a hint of insecurity. As you shared a tender gaze, his vulnerability spilled out. 

"At the same time… I want to be with you. You keep me grounded, and every day I feel like I'm becoming a better version of myself because of you. But I don’t want to burden you with my baggage."

Your heart swelled with affection as you reached out to cup his face, gently wiping away the traces of doubt etched there. "Leon, I see you, all of you, and I wouldn't have it any other way.”

“Being damaged doesn’t make you any less worthy of love and happiness. We all have our scars and struggles. What matters is that you’re taking steps to heal, to become the best version of yourself. And I want to be there for you, every step of the way.”

At that moment, Leon knew he couldn't let his fears hold him back any longer.

Leon’s eyes glistened with unshed tears as he leaned in closer, his breath mingling with yours. The world seemed to stand still as he closed the gap between you, capturing your lips in a passionate heartfelt kiss. His hands moved to the back of your neck, pulling you closer as if he couldn’t bear to be apart. 

The kiss was intense, filled with all the emotions he couldn’t put into words—  the love, the gratitude, the desire. His lips moved against yours with fervent need, and as you responded, you could feel the weight of his insecurities lifting, replaced by the warmth of your mutual affection. 

Breaking the kiss, Leon scooped you up from your chair with ease, his arms strong and secure around you. He carried you to your bed and gently laid you down, his gaze never leaving yours. The tenderness in his eyes spoke volumes as he caressed your face.

"You mean everything to me, and I want to be the one you can always rely on." He leaned in for another kiss, sealing his promise with the warmth of his embrace. “Just how I can rely on you.”

When Leon's words settled in, you felt a rush of emotion swell in your chest. You reached up, your fingers gently tracing the line of his jaw, feeling the slight stubble beneath your touch and moving down to his neck where his moles were. The tenderness in his eyes was almost overwhelming, and you could see the sincerity behind every word he had spoken.

Leon let out a gasp as your fingers continued their gentle exploration, the touch feeling soft and human against his skin. He couldn’t even remember the last time someone touched him so tenderly. Letting out a sigh of contentment, he buried his face against your neck, inhaling your familiar scent—the comforting mix of laundry detergent and coffee, so wonderfully homey.

“God, you don’t know how much you've softened me.” He chuckled softly, his lips trailing kisses along your neck.

You couldn't help but tease him, a playful glint in your eyes. "Oh, is that so?" you murmured, a smile tugging at your lips. "Big, tough Leon going all soft on me?"

He lifted his head, meeting your gaze with a grin. "Yeah, you have that effect on me," he admitted. "Never thought I'd be saying that."

You laughed softly, your fingers brushing through his hair. "Well, I kind of like this softer side of you," you teased, your eyes sparkling. "Makes me feel special."

"You are special," Leon whispered, his expression turning serious. "More than you know."

“Leon…I’m ready,” you said, your voice steady but your heart racing.

“Ready for what, sweetheart?” he asked, the endearment rolling off his tongue naturally. He liked how it felt, unlike the generic terms, ‘Babe’ and ‘Baby’ he had used for his past flings when he didn’t bother to remember their names.

“Ready… for you to take my virginity.”

Leon’s eyes widened slightly before he softened, his expression filled with tenderness. "Oh… you're so precious. Not now, okay? I want to take you out on a date first."

“But—”

“No buts,” he interrupted gently. “I can make you feel good without taking it…do you trust me?”

“I do,” you replied, feeling a rush of warmth.

“Then just relax," he said softly. "I’m here, and I’ll gladly help you release your stress.”

Without another word, Leon closed the distance between you, his lips meeting yours in a passionate, desperate kiss — a culmination of months of longing and pent-up desire. All your worries and stress melted away as you sought solace in each other’s embrace.

As the kiss deepened, Leon’s hands roamed over your body, pulling you closer with a strong need to please you. The hunger and longing that had built up over the months drove you both, igniting a fire that burned with an intensity neither of you had ever felt before.

Leon’s fingers deftly found the hem of your sweater, slowly lifting it up and over your head. As your bare skin met the cool air, a wave of shyness washed over you. Instinctively, you crossed your arms over your chest, trying to cover yourself. 

Leon paused, his eyes filled with a mixture of admiration and gentle reassurance. He reached out, his hands gently removing yours from your chest. “Don’t hide from me,” he whispered, his voice soft but firm. “You’re beautiful, and I want to see all of you.” He leaned in, pressing a tender kiss to your forehead, and you felt your body relax under his touch, trusting him completely.

“Leon…” 

With a reassuring smile, Leon stepped back slightly and grasped the hem of his own shirt. In one smooth motion, he pulled it over his head, revealing the defined lines of his chest, the faint scars that marked his skin, and the tantalising happy trail leading down from his naval.

“See? Nothing to be shy about.” Leon had come so far, enduring countless battles, to reach this moment of vulnerability and softness with you.

You nodded, your cheeks flushing at the sight of his happy trail peeking through his sweatpants. His lips, slightly swollen from your shared kisses, only added to the heat coursing through you. The mere thought of kissing him had you feeling an ache between your legs — maybe those cringy scenes in films about virgin sex aren’t so fake after all. As you squeezed your thighs together unconsciously, he chuckled softly and gently pulled them apart.

"You okay there?" he teased, his voice laced with amusement.

You laughed nervously, trying to mask your embarrassment. "Yeah, just... overwhelmed, I guess."

Leon's chuckle deepened. "I'd say that's a good sign," he teased, his fingers tracing a soothing pattern on your thigh. "But let's take it slow, okay?"

Leon's fingers trailed along the curve of your thigh, a gentle caress that sent shivers down your spine. "Have you ever... touched yourself before?" he asked softly.

Your breath caught in your throat at his question, the sensation of his touch combined with the intimacy of his inquiry making your heart race. "Um, well... yeah," you replied hesitantly, feeling the heat rising in your cheeks.

Leon's touch became even more tender, his fingers tracing patterns on your skin as he leaned in closer. "Tell me about it," he murmured, his voice low and husky with desire. "I want to know everything."

“I... I just use my fingers,” you confessed, feeling a little embarrassed by the simplicity of your answer. You found yourself rambling about the prices of sex toys and how impractical they seemed, but Leon's attention was elsewhere as he trailed his fingers down to your clothed heat.

With unabashed hunger, he traced his fingertips over the fabric shielding your wetness, sending shivers through you. He moved lower, his mouth finding your inner thighs, licking and biting gently, his breath hot against your skin.

As you continued to ramble with hitched breaths, Leon nodded along, occasionally responding with a thoughtful "hmm" here and there. His lips pressed against your clothed mound and his tongue piercing tracing circles over the fabric. Each teasing lick and swirling motion sent shivers coursing through your body.

“Leon, fuck,” you moaned, bucking your hips toward his face.

His lips curled into a wicked smirk as he slid down your underwear, revealing your glistening folds. His tongue darted out, flicking against your swollen clit while his hands moved to your hips, holding you in place.

Leon savoured the taste of your arousal, relishing how you quivered beneath him, desperate for more. His lips closed around your clit, sucking gently while his tongue worked in skilled motions. As your moans filled the room, he intensified his assault, his tongue delving deeper and applying more pressure.

“You’re mine,” he murmured against your slick folds, his voice filled with possessiveness. “My special sweetheart.” With a playful yet firm touch, he lightly slapped your clit, eliciting a gasp from you.

Your breath hitched at Leon's possessive words and instinctively, wrapped your legs around his head, pulling him closer and squeezing them together in response. The sensation of his tongue and lips working so intimately against you, combined with the pressure of your thighs around him, heightened the intensity of your pleasure.

“Leon!” you babbled his name like a prayer as he worked his tongue on you. Each flick and swirl of his tongue made you tremble, the overwhelming sensation almost too much to bear. Your hands gripped the sheets, knuckles white, as you surrendered to him.

Lost in the intensity of the moment, Leon started to grind himself against the mattress. His sweatpants strained against his growing erection. He could feel the dampness of his pre-cum soaking through the fabric, each grind intensifying the need coursing through him. His cock strained painfully against the confines of his pants, desperate for release as he focused on bringing you to the edge of ecstasy.

Your breathing grew ragged, and you could feel the tightening coil of release building within you. Instinctively, your hands flew to his head, gripping his hair tightly as you arched your back, your body seeking more of his touch. The sharp tug made Leon grunt, a deep, guttural sound vibrating against your sensitive flesh. 

Despite the pain, he refused to relent, his determination evident in the way he continued to devour you. His hands gripped your hips, holding you firmly in place as his tongue and lips worked with relentless precision, pushing you closer and closer to the brink of ecstasy, refusing to let you go.

Finally, with a shuddering gasp, you surrendered to the overwhelming waves of pleasure crashing over you like a tidal bliss. Leon held you through it all, refusing to let you go until you were utterly undone beneath him, lost in the euphoria of the moment.

As you lay there, panting and trembling, Leon parted from your cunt, his chin and lips glistening with your release. He smirked, a wicked glint in his eyes, before tenderly kissing your clit. "You taste so sweet," he murmured, his voice husky with desire. "I could devour you all night."

Your cheeks heated up due to his remarks, a turbulent rush of feelings that filled your senses with a mixture of embarrassment and excitement. Under the intensity of his gaze, you quivered, feeling another desire surge through you again.

Leon leaned back, his eyes never leaving yours as he spat on your cunt, the warm liquid mixing with your own arousal. He clumsily peeled off his sweatpants, revealing his hard, straining cock. He positioned himself between your legs, pushing your thighs together to create a tight, plush space.

With a low groan, Leon began to stroke himself between your thighs, the friction against your slick skin sending jolts of pleasure through him. Each thrust caused his piercing to occasionally bump against your clit, sending thrilling shocks through your body and making you gasp with the unexpected sensation.

“Oh, fuck,” he muttered, his eyes fixated on the scandalous sight before him — the view of his reddened and swollen tip emerging from the clutch of your thighs. 

You were certain Leon would leave bruises on your thighs from the way he was gripping them. “I’m gonna... gonna—shit,” Leon whimpered, quickening his pace. His thrusts became urgent and forceful, driven by an insatiable hunger for release. The air was filled with the sound of your moans and the slap of skin against skin. He leaned over you, shifting into a mating press with your legs squished to your chest and his balls slapping against your ass.

With a few more thrusts, Leon succumbed to the pleasure, his body tensing as he spilt himself between your thighs and stomach. Waves of ecstasy washed over him, and he continued to move, riding out his orgasm with a mix of intense relief and satisfaction. His body trembled with aftershocks and his breathing erratic as he slowly descended from the high.

As Leon collapsed beside you, panting and spent, he realised that you hadn't come for the second time. He then shifted his position, propping himself up on one elbow as he glanced down at your flushed form. Seeing the need still evident in your eyes, he gently brushed his fingers over your slick folds, seeking out your swollen clit.

"Let me take care of you again," he cooed as he began to rub gentle circles over your sensitive bud. With each stroke, he felt your body respond, the tension building once more as you whimpered and writhed beneath his touch.

Leon focused entirely on bringing you to the peak of pleasure, his movements deliberate and precise as he pushed you closer to the edge. Your moans grew louder, and your hips bucked against his hand, signalling how near you were to release. With a shuddering gasp, you finally reached your climax. Leon’s grip was steady as you trembled beneath him, lost in the overwhelming euphoria.

He pressed a loving kiss to your forehead before slipping out of bed. "I'll be right back," he whispered, leaving the room momentarily to grab a warm, damp towel. Returning swiftly, he carefully wiped away the sweat and traces of cum from your skin.

Once he finished, he picked up your discarded sweater from the floor and slipped it over your shoulders, ensuring you were comfortable. You nestled into its warmth as Leon retrieved his own sweatpants and pulled them on.

Returning to your side, he asked softly, "Feeling better?"

You nodded, a small smile playing on your lips as you snuggled closer to him. "Yeah, much better. Thanks for taking care of me."

He smiled back, his eyes filled with affection, and gently massaged the nape of your neck. "How was the aftercare? It's my first time doing it."

You chuckled softly. "Honestly, I can't say much about it since I don't have any experience either."

Leon laughed, the sound warm and genuine. "Guess we're both new at this. Maybe I should include 'aftercare specialist' on my résumé."

You grinned, your eyes twinkling with amusement. "Yeah, but only if I get to be your reference."

He smirked, pressing a kiss to your forehead. "Deal."

Pics are from pinterest and edited by: @roseglazedlens

Dividers by: @chachachannah

[robiinurheart33]

Ok ok Johnny but he can’t accept the fact that people love him?

First girlfriend. Went south real fast and realised he was gay.

First boyfriend. Was bi-curious. First heartbreak too.

Second boyfriend. Only wanted him for his body. Self explanatory.

Third boyfriend. Way too emotionally unavailable, felt like they weren’t even dating at a point. Turns out he already has a partner.

You get the gist.

At a very young age, Johnny was aware of his unfortunate personality. School fights, family scoldings, bedroom sobbing, it’s all just a blur to him now. It’s not like he had the worst life out there, no. But he can’t shake the fact that he can’t really remember anything about his childhood. The trauma stuck though, unfortunately.

He could never really seem to shake off that “unloveable” blanket on his shoulders.

It’s not that bad, in retrospect. His friends like him, sure. They tolerate him. He knows he’s loud, he knows he’s brash, he’s a lot to deal with! He understands. So every once in a while, he’ll just…back off. Leave everyone alone and just spend some time alone. The horrors do get to him when he’s alone in his room, clutching the fabric of his shirt and trying to get ahold of his breathing, but it’s basically nothing to what everyone else has to endure! He’s selfish, he knows it already, always needy, always wanting. This is the least he can do to make sure that his loved ones aren’t tipped over the boiling point and actually leave him for good.

He doesn’t know what to do with himself at times.

Then he meets ghost.

Powerful, strong, admirable Ghost. He blew his fucking lid. He’s even bigger than the rumours suggest. He’s professional, clean. He’s everything that Soap wishes to be.

He’s jealous right off the bat. How could he not be?

Honestly, he feels a bit bad for the guy at the start. Soap’s laying it on thick with the touching and the questions. He’s obviously fucking with him a bit, bit to be fair he’s not really doing much to stop him either. As time goes on, it becomes a weird sort of admiration/jealousy thing. He still is jealous of Ghost, but not to an extreme extent that he could be.

Ghost is another very peculiar case, one that Soap doesn’t seem to mind prodding. After a few missions together, he could see why he was so infamous. But still, Ghost wasn’t pushing back. Has anyone done this to him before? Why was he just letting this happen? Ghost might find him weird, sure, but he’s the most curious disturbing motherfucker soap’s ever met.

The army isn’t exactly a place to find someone to get their dick wet, homophobes around the corner at every turn. Soap’s just accepted it as part of life now, not really wanting to think much on it but having that fact lurk at the back of his mind. It’s a bit depressing, sure, to not have anyone get to know his actual self, but then again he was sure that anyone who truly got to know him wouldn’t talk to him ever again. If it’s not the gay thing, it’s the army thing. If its not the army thing, it the personality thing. Whatever. John’s gotten used to it.

However, though some unexplainable force (the SAS and Price), Soap and Ghost had become some sort of dynamic duo now. They’d fought together, lost together, gone through some of the most horrific weathers known to man, and they’d both survived under some miracle. Well, soap survived. He never doubted ghost would.

He got very close though. Way too close for Soap’s liking. They were in some fuck-ass country upside down the earth, down to his last mag and ghost clipped in the shoulder. They were hauling ass just- away. They didn’t know when exfil would get there, or where. Their main objective was just to survive. Ghost was making a very vulnerable wheezing sound from his throat and Soap’s gun was overheating, burning though his gloves.

“Soap- Sargent.” Ghost whispered, somehow always remaining calm in the most chaotic situation Soap’s been in so far. Either that, or he’s just really fuckin tired.

“No’ now, L.T, tryna get us to safety.”

“Soap, leave me behind.”

“What? Listen, I’ve got no time for your stupid heroism crap, okay? Just- shut up.”

“MacTavish, im serious. I have nothing waiting for me. I’ll be okay. Just go. Stay safe.”

“Whot the hell did i just say?” He snapped, turning towards him. “I’ve go’ no time for this. You’re coming wit me whether you like it or not.” Soap jabs a finger into his chest, leaning in close until he’s sure Ghost can see the faintest scar on his right eyebrow from screwing around with a razor with his friends, trying to give himself a eyebrow slit.

“You’ve got me, haven’t ya? You’ve got Price, and the people on your team are counting on you. I’m counting on you. So you can die somewhere else, in the bumfuck a’ nowhere, but you’re not allowed to die today, now. Ya hear me?”

Like this, gunpowder and dust making his nose itchy, looking intensely at Ghost to make sure his point is drive home, there’s a look in his eyes that soap thinks he’s never seen before. He- he kinda looks like-

How Soap looks at Ghost.

With admiration.

Oh.

So, yeah. They ran out of there on the air of their asses, Soap laughing as the final hits of adrenaline pulses his heart, Ghost leaning against him with the same look in his eye, and they’ve never exactly been the same after that.

Soap chalked it off as it being in the heat of the moment kinda thing, but he’s been consistently catching Ghost’s eye staring at him from a distance away, just staring, with that strange look in his eye. Not always with the same emotion, Soap guesses, but still. It’s close enough. He doesnt know what’s happening, or what he did, but something changed. And it’s driving him insane. It’s not that Ghost wasn’t already friendly in his own weird ghost way, but now he’s being friendly in a normal way.

It’s so weird.

He’ll be waiting at the gun range for Soap like he knows he’d appear there, toss him an apple when he feels peckish, slap his hand away when he needs to change bandages muttering something about him not doing it properly. It’s weird, and it’s nice, and it’s making soap feel all itchy and hot. he can’t even scratch himself anymore as a soothing tick, Ghost will just slap his hand away and grumble a “stop that.”

It’s weird, and soap can’t help but enjoy it.

He feels a bit selfish, feeling like he’s somehow taking advantage of ghost’s kindness, but for what? He’s feeling guilty but what exactly is he being selfish about? Maybe a mental checkup is in order, he’s losing his mind a bit. They’re friends, that’s all. It’s not…that unheard of that ghost would have friends, isn’t it? He should feel honoured to be his…fist? Again, Soap doesn’t know a lot about him.

Time passes. He dips his toes in guerrilla warfare for the first time, can’t say he’s a fan. Been backstabbed, shot, and survived. Hes earned his nickname, and sticks by it. (Hah) Though thick and thin, Ghost’s been there throughout it all. An angel guiding him to the churches, a leader who he would follow to the pits of hell, a friend when he needed one. After all that, the questions just never seemed to slow down. About his family, himself, his hobbies… to keep him awake, to pass the time, just whenever. Mostly Soap would get grumbles and short answers, proper sentences if he’s in the mood (which is all the time) or drunk enough. He’s flustered under all the attention and he knows it, itching beneath the helmet and the layers of armour. Soap is brash, and loud, and a little bit of a pyromaniac. He knows it. He’s fine with it. All jagged edges, no slowing down in sight. He doesnt know what to do with the change coming. He does the only thing he knows to do. He runs. After all of it is said and done, with makarov in the streets now, not much is to be done other than waiting for further instruction.

Applies leave for a few days, rented a airbnb online, have some alone time. Reset. Easy. Simple. Hes done this all his life. But when he was just about to slip out, Ghost suddenly appeared right in front of him.

“Gah- Jesus, fuck, ghost. What’s wrong?”

“You’re leaving.”

“Yeah, I am. You signed off on the papers.”

“Why?”

“Just…some time. To myself.”

“Is that it?”

“…yeah?” What else does he want me to say?

Ghost looks like he.. squirms a bit, which is weird. Ghost doesn’t squirm.

“Just… the countryside. And stuff.” This is the worst casual conversation he’s ever had with Ghost.

“Um… i got you something.” Then he’s holding something out.

“Huh? Really- this is a rock.” What the fuck.

“It’s a rock from Las Almas.”

“You… kept a rock. From Las Almas. What, you couldn’t have stopped by an actual gift shop just around the corner? I think i saw one right around where i found your knife lodged into-”

“-You done yet?” He snaps.

“Apparently not, sir. You wanna explain the rock?” Soap’s being a bitch.

“Just that… you’re going to be alone… and. Makarov.”

“It’s a legitimate place, ghost. you wont find anyone there.”

“Not just that, it’s like-” He groans slightly and scratches the back of his head. “You’re going to be alone, and the last time you were alone..”

Oh.

“It’s just a reminder that like, I wasn’t going to give it to you this soon but, i was there. With you. You weren’t truly alone, johnny. And.. you’re going to be alone now. Actually alone. And i just….its. I’m here. At Redhill. I’m going to be here. You know where to find me.”

You’ve got me, haven’t ya?

Oh shit.

Soap doesn’t know what to say. He can feel the tip of his ears burning, pricking down his cheeks and flush down his neck. He doesnt know how to stand properly, what to say, how to think. Because everything he;s thinking right now should not be applied to his lieutenant.

This doesn’t mean anything, right? It doesn’t change anything. It’s still the same. Soap knows that Ghost cares about him. He’s his Sargent. He’s his Sargent. But not in that way. They’re friends. The rock from Las Almas. He’s fine. They’re fine. It’s just like the rock is a physical manifestation and real evidence that Ghost may or may not like him. Jesus, he shouldn’t think like that. He’s too quiet. He should say something. His lips twitch.

“Thank you.” THAT’S IT?? SAY MORE.

“I’ll know where to look, then.” Soap gives the most half flustered, half assed smile he’s ever given to anyone. He cant even begin to imagine how he looks right now. His heart pulls. Ghost looks away. He feels like he’s going to be swept off his feet in a bad (good) way.

“Right then.” He clears his throat, disappearing down the corner of the hallway. Soap gapes as he stares after him. What was that? What was him? What? He looks down at the heavier-than-it should-look rock in his sweaty palms, and swallows.

This doesn’t change anything. They’re still working together. They’re the lieutenant and Sargent of the 141 Taskforce. He’s fine. They’re fine.

Everything is okay.

[ggomos-maribat]

Double Lives

Damian was certain that his wife was keeping a secret from him.

He trusted her with his life, of course—Marinette had kept a number of things from him in the earlier stages of their relationship, like her experience and trauma in Paris. He knew not to pry, and eventually she opened up. He was glad that some burden was taken off her shoulders.

But this was different. She was deliberately trying not to get caught; she took care to hide her phone from his view, and there were days she'd come home very late. When asked, she'd get irritable but also nervous around him. Damian didn't want to assume things right off the bat, but he did hope she would finally grow comfortable to talk it out with him. And so he resisted using his ‘resources’ to peek into her life—what kind of distrusting partner would he be if he did that?

He knew, too, that he was being awfully hypocritical. He was still yet to sit her down and reveal his vigilante alter ego to her as well as his family's. Damian would swear he planned to rip the bandaid off when they got engaged. But he couldn't bring himself to do it, out of the fear that she'd leave him. As far as he knew, Marinette wanted a normal quiet life after living through the Evil Butterfly Man's reign of terror. Telling her his identity would just put a target on her back, if there wasn't any already after she became a Wayne.

He couldn't imagine his sweet innocent wife exposed to the horrors of vigilantism.

Still, even though he had his own secrets, it felt quite frustrating not to know hers. That was what Damian was thinking one dark night when the door finally opened, signalling her arrival from work.

“Damian?” Her eyes widened. “Why are you still up? You shouldn't have waited for me.”

“It's alright. I couldn't sleep anyways.” And I will be sneaking out for patrol later. He stood up to kiss her cheek—

But froze upon seeing a red mark right at the base of her neck.

Marinette hummed tiredly. “Next time, don't wait for me if you're tired, okay?”

“. . . What's that on your neck?” He dared to ask.

Her hand immediately flew to the spot on her skin. For a split second, her expression changed into a hint of annoyance. “It's—it's . . .” she stammered, “I accidentally hit myself.”

“You hit yourself?”

She nodded meekly.

Damian stared at her for a moment. There was one thing he knew about his wife: she was a bad liar. But she was expert at omitting things, partly because she probably knew he wouldn't interrogate her further. He knew that she was aware it was the vaguest of explanations but she never tried to elaborate.

He mustered out a smile. “Be careful next time.”

She let out a nervous laugh and squeaked out a ‘yes’.

“By the way.” He took a deep breath, “I visited your office this morning.”

“Oh?”

“Yes, and your secretary told me you hadn't punched in for the day yet.”

The silence between them was thick.

“Ah . . .” Damian could practically see the gears turning in her head. “That was . . . erm, I had to run an errand before work! Yeah . . .”

“I see. I was hoping to have lunch with you earlier but it seems that you're busy nowadays.”

She cursed in French under her breath.

“I'm really sorry, Damian.” She fidgeted with her fingers. “I'll make time this week. I promise.”

She hurried off to their bedroom, leaving Damian with his thoughts.

He really really didn't want to assume the worst. But his heart was racing and when he looked at the signs, they were clear as day. His mind started to spiral a little, wondering where he could've gone wrong, wondering if he didn't spend enough time on her or if she felt that he wasn't giving enough effort.

But he pushed all those thoughts away and followed her to bed.

***

One Saturday afternoon saw Robin and Superboy in the Watchtower's breakroom, talking about Damian's predicament. He hoped his friend could at least contribute an objective outsider's perspective in his dilemma and encourage him to broach the topic with Marinette.

“She's cheating,” Superboy deadpanned.

“She's—she's not,” he argued back, “Perhaps I am just reading too much into it . . .”

“Um but the hickey? The late night escapades?” Superboy frowned. “I don't know about you, but I don't think there's any other explanation for it.”

Robin bit his tongue. No, it's not possible. He loved Marinette terribly, and he knew—he could feel the same love from her if not more.

His friend sighed, “Look, I know it's hard to believe. Even I don't think M can be . . . unfaithful but you should confront her about it.”

“I can't. I can't face her like that when I am still keeping a secret of my own.”

“Then tell her you're Robin. A secret for a secret, hm?”

Robin didn't even want to think about how messy that conversation would be.

“It's all just about communication,” Superboy continued. “If you're worried she won't accept you, take my mom and dad as an example—”

He stopped talking, indicating that he sensed another presence nearby. Just on cue, a fuming Ladybug stomped into the breakroom, heading straight to one of the refrigerators.

The two men watched as she muttered angrily while looking around for food—Robin could see the clear exhaustion on her tensed figure. The Parisian heroine had joined the Justice League after the Hawkmoth fiasco became public; the heroes were quick to recruit her but not before she voiced out her complaints about the League neglecting her city. Though she hadn't revealed her identity to anyone, she had formed bonds with the other heroes her age, not excluding Robin and Superboy.

Superboy winced when she kicked the fridge door.

Ladybug did a hundred eighty, showing both the fires of hell and sleepless nights in her blue eyes. “You don't happen to have an extra stock of Kryptonite, do you?”

Superboy looked at her warily. “What happened this time?”

“Your dad assigned me to another magic-involved mission!” She tugged at her hair, sitting beside them. “I thought I made it clear I didn't want to be involved in too many missions especially if it's non-miraculous related ones!”

“You could . . . tell him that?”

She shot a sharp glare at them. “You don't think I did? They're insisting it's miraculous related when Constantine hasn't even confirmed anything! Just because Paris was terrorized, it doesn't mean miraculi are going to pop out from everywhere! These missions are affecting my normal life!”

It was a common complaint for heroes who had alternate civilian lives, but Robin was a bit surprised that she was that open about her feelings.

“And—and Batman too!” She pointed a finger at Robin. “I know Monsieur Furry's guilty about the Paris thing and all and me not having a mentor but he keeps checking on my progress after missions liked a damned helicopter parent! “

Before either of them could reply, she continued ranting, “I was going to meet an important client yesterday but they just had to call me in to help with the mission! And then it goes on until freaking midnight! What about my precious sleep?! Then Zatanna accidentally used a spell on me—it hit my neck and now it looks like a hickey!”

Her head dropped onto the table. “How the fuck do I fucking explain that to my husband?!”

Robin and Superboy looked at each other, wide-eyed.

“You—you haven't told your husband that you're a hero?” Superboy asked carefully.

Not lifting up her head, she replied with a muffled voice, “Of course not! I can't do that to him! He's already exposed to enough danger because of his last name! I just can't tell him ‘ hey mon amour so I'm actually that heroine from Paris on top of my emotional PTSD!’”

Robin swallowed. That was Marinette's name for him.

It ticked too many boxes.

He started to subconsciously connect the dots: catching his wife absent at work at the time the magic-wielding team of the JL was away on a mission; Ladybug sharing that she finally linked up messages from her yoyo to her personal phone; his wife coming home late, tired and fatigued from head to toe when all she was supposed to be doing was designing.

“I'm sure he'll come to understand your circumstances,” Superboy consoled.

“He won't.” The heroine sat up, revealing that her eyes were now welling up with tears. “He probably hates me right now because I'm sending the wrong signals. What if he thinks I'm just taking advantage of him for his money? His family already hates me! What if he's filing for a divorce right now?”

Robin felt the nudge from his friend, as if to tell him to do damage control. Superboy abruptly stood up, spouted out an excuse about being called by someone, and left the room to the two of them.

Ladybug sniffed, “Sorry, you probably didn't want to hear all of that.”

“It helps to get your problems off your chest.” Robin awkwardly patted her head. In truth, she was really Marinette, he wanted to pull her into a hug already.

He coughed. “Why—why do you think your husband's family hates you?”

“Oh . . . I don't know, but his father’s always distant. Whenever I'm at a family dinner, they're just very quiet,” she replied sadly. “I know they're good people but I felt like I didn't belong somehow. My husband keeps saying they adore me though.”

Robin wanted to sigh out loud. His father still had his guard up because he believed she was a civilian, hence there was a side of her family they could never show her. It was always quiet due to Alfred's stern lecture about behaving in front of Marinette lest they accidentally spill something they shouldn't.

“It sounds like your husband cares a lot about you,” he told her, “Don't you think he would trust you if you told him the truth?”

“But I can't! I don't know where to begin!” She pursed her lips. “He's always been good to me and he never steps the line even if I'm obviously lying. I just . . . I thought I could tell him before we got married but I was too scared and I didn't want to ruin what we had.”

“But he won't think any differently of you, would he?”

“No . . .”

“Then you have nothing to be afraid of.” He smiled a little. “It may come off as a shock at first but he will accept it in time. You will be stressing yourself out even more if you keep thinking about the worst scenarios.”

She stared at him. “When did you get so wise?”

“Ever since I started thinking about what my wife was doing.”

She tilted her head. “Huh?”

It was unmistakable. Those gleaming blue eyes were Marinette's.

He was such an idiot.

“She keeps coming home late, hides her phone every time I'm near,” he listed, gauging her reaction. “Last night, I found out she hadn't come to her office even when she said she was working, and I caught her with a strange mark on her neck.”

Her eyes slowly widened as she seemed to come to the same realization. The heroine's gloved hands flew up to cover her mouth. “Damian?” she whispered.

He checked if the coast was clear and slowly peeled off his domino mask to show his full face. “I'm sorry I didn't tell you habib –”

He was cut off by her warm lips, her arms winding around his neck. Damian immediately melted into her touch, relieved that they finally divulged their secrets. He wouldn't have to be worried about introducing her to the hero world after all.

He was extremely relieved, in fact, that he hadn't noticed his father and eldest brother stroll into the room.

“ROBIN! Are you cheating on your wife?!”

Robin pulled away from Ladybug, withholding a sigh of exasperation. He put his mask back on and turned around to see Batman looking constipated and Nightwing utterly shocked.

"How could you do that to—to . . ." Nightwing cried out.

"Leave us." He glared.

"Robin—" His father's voice was tinged with disapproval.

"Leave. Us."

Fortunately, the two scurried off. Damian faced his wife, who seemed as flabbergasted. He was worried since it was her identity that was at risk, unless he embraced the unexpected cheating allegations.

"Oh my kwamis," Ladybug said softly, "I called my father-in-law a furry ."

"It's deserved." He rubbed up and down her shoulders. "What do you want to do?"

"Oh um . . ." She ducked her head. "Maybe go home and I'll—I'll explain everything from the beginning."

***

Damian had to recount his life story after his wife shared hers whilst they cuddled in bed. After they talked, he was surprised to learn so many new things about her—he thought he had her memorized already, even before they exchanged vows. At the same time, he was mentally kicking himself for thinking that Marinette was never closely involved in the war against Hawkmoth.

Of course she was Ladybug.

Of course she was a hero.

So while she was spiraling at the number of times she'd unknowingly mocked her in-laws in the suit, he was regretting not telling her the truth sooner. If they'd opened up years ago, he would've stayed by her side during missions, helping her deal with the troubles of having a masked alter egos, and sharing his own experiences with her. A stronger bond would've formed between them, because they both understood the hero's life after all this time.

Not long after, she finally decided she was ready to tell the Waynes who she was. ‘It would do more harm than good if I kept hiding it anyway,’ she reasoned. He did agree, since she was part of the family, both as Ladybug and Marinette. The others would surely be overjoyed (and less overprotective) if they found out that she was a hero. What Damian found strange, however, was Marinette seemed to worry that Bruce's opinion on her would change and he'd become ‘distant’ as Batman as well.

“Remember, Batman is afraid of you,” he had reminded her over and over again.

(And Batman would be ecstatic to discover that Ladybug was his daughter-in-law, but Damian would never tell her that. The caped vigilante had grown fussy over the Parisian heroes as his way of ‘making up’ for the Paris incidents . . . But at the same time, he cowered ever so slightly when Ladybug raised her voice on him. Damian's siblings blamed Ladybug's black hair and blue eyes for triggering the adopt-itis.)

And so Damian and Marinette decided to arrange a family lunch to break the news to everyone. It was then Damian remembered that there was one issue he hadn't resolved yet.

“If you don't tell Marinette today, I'm telling her.” Dick glared at him from across the table.

Damian glanced at his watch. His wife wasn't present yet, and had sent him a message about picking up pastries from Paris first.

“Tt. That would mean revealing our identities, Richard.” He crossed his arms.

“Just because you have the mask on it doesn't mean you can do that to her!” Dick argued. “Does Ladybug even know you're married?! ”

“What did he do to Pixie-pop?” asked Jason.

“He---he—” Dick was once again trembling in anger and disbelief.

“We saw him kissing Ladybug.” It was Bruce who replied. “Damian, I never expected this from you. You will have to talk and apologize to Marinette.”

“You did what?!” Jason stood up so abruptly that the utensils clattered.

“What the fuck?” Tim exclaimed.

Stephanie gasped. “What the hell Damian?”

“Holy shit,” Duke whispered.

Damian could only stare at the entryway of the dining hall, hoping that Marinette would arrive soon. If he was left with his family any longer, they'd be beating him up and disowning him.

“I have . . . a reason,” he said through gritted teeth. He couldn't exactly tell them right off the bat, since Marinette wasn't there yet.

“Open . . . open relationship?” Cass frowned.

Suddenly, a bright light appeared at the ceiling—a portal— and from it, a figure dropped down, much to everyone's shock. Ladybug, unified with the Horse miraculous, grinned at them with an armful of boxes filled with croissants and macarons.

“Ladybug?” Bruce gaped.

“Your daughter-in-law actually.” She lowered the sunglasses, showing her narrowed eyes. “And your worst fucking nightmare.”

“W---What?”

Damian could barely control his laughter, seeing his father frozen.

She detransformed completely and scowled at Bruce. “This is technically your fault, furry old man! If you didn't keep agreeing to send me on those magical missions, I wouldn't be so tired and caused a misunderstanding in the first place.”

Damian didn't have time to shield himself from the eruption of noise on the table. With his wife's theatrical reveal, everyone was in different states of shock. Tim stood up quietly to face a wall with a blank stare, entertaining another existential crisis. Duke choked on the water he was drinking. Jason was crouched on the floor miserably with his hands over his face, perhaps because of the times he complained to Marinette about Ladybug's uptight methods. Dick's jaw was completely unhinged, and he was slapping himself every minute or so. Stephanie passed a hundred dollar bill to Cass.

And Bruce. Poor Bruce was paler than their porcelain plates, speechless and unmoving.

Damian exchanged a wide smile with his wife. He loved her so much.

[crescenthistory]

begging for a fic where regulus says “i love you” to reader for the first time and it FLOORS them bc reggie is not one to voice his feelings a lot, much less something as powerful as the feeling of love

listen, when i saw this ask i sat down and wrote this in ONE sitting, THANK you. you probably intended for this to be a scene at the beginning of a relationship, but i instead decided to psychoanalyse my poor darling reg for a few thousands of words and give him a patient partner. hope you'll forgive me lols<3

Words: 3k

Warnings: not proofread, the most ancient and noble black family trauma (including descriptions of abuse and neglect), gn!reader, black brothers angst and reconciliation, sunshine!reader, reader is very patient and understanding with regulus, kinda past bartylus, barty is a hugger here, reg pov so some spiraling, vague implied references to sex (so implied that i believe it's safe for minors, but just putting that out there)

on the tip of my tongue

It’s not that Regulus didn’t love you. Quite the opposite, actually. 

It’s just that love had not been a spoken matter in his life until you barged into it. Love was implicit as much as it was hidden and reserved; something you grabbed greedily at while you had it and rationed carefully over the next few weeks or months, hoping to get by on it. 

For a long time, Regulus thought his mother loved him. She was strict and firm, but when he came to her for advice, she would give it and might even pat him on the cheek if he accepted what she had to say readily enough. He would hold his cheek afterwards and syphon the warmth left from her touch, wishing there was a way for it to stay with him forever.

When he got to Hogwarts and experienced true, unrestrained friendship he realised there was a way for it to stay with him forever – the other party just had to not withhold it. His cheek would be warm if the people who loved him kept holding, kept returning. With them, attention was not something he was occasionally graced with, it was always on him, within easy reach.

It took him a while, but Regulus eventually got used to the physical affection, at least from his friends. He came to expect it and lean into it, which in and of itself felt like a weight lifted off his shoulders. There were hugs and pats on the back and tousled hair. There were pretend-scuffles on the quidditch field and the common room. There was that one term in third year where Barty decided he and Regulus simply must learn how to kiss and the boys spent most nights sneaking off into the empty common room and unskillfully, sloppily making out through kisses. There was that one night in fifth year where they picked it back up again. 

Still, with the hands-on approach to love that Barty and Dorcas had and infused into their little safe haven of a friend group, it remained unspoken. There was the occasional “mate” or the nicknames he brought with him from home – “Reg” was fine and while he did not much care for “Reggie”, he let it slide due to the affection it held. The closest they got to spoken love were the promises to fiercely protect each other, to kill and die by each other’s sides if must be. To beat the living daylights out of anyone who lays a finger on the other and then hex the pain to stay with them forever. An oath of loyalty was their "I love you".

Other than them, Sirius had been his one source of affection throughout his life, but as everything else in Grimmauld’s Place it had been quiet. 

Sirius was the perfect big brother, whether Regulus wanted to admit that or not. He held his hand when they crossed the street and held Regulus at night when he cried. Sirius taught him as much as he could, and though he occasionally was arrogant or impatient with his lessons, he didn’t give up on them. Regulus knew he loved Sirius at the very least, even if he had in more recent years questioned if that love was returned.

The problem with Sirius is that Regulus does not know of most of the affection the older boy showed him. Sirius insists that the two spent the majority of their first years attached at the hip, but Regulus struggles to remember much before the age of 12, which you had once told him he might want to look into with a professional at some point. To which Regulus emphasised the “at some point” more than the rest. So any hugs or touches or love Sirius showed him has been long since forgotten. Apart from the bed-sharing; Regulus remembers that vividly. Crawling into his older brother’s bed at night when he had nightmares, hoping Sirius could chase the monsters away. Regulus didn’t think he did it that often, but Sirius swore he once slept an entire three months solely in Sirius’ bed.

The most significant way Sirius loved Regulus, though, was through what he did for him, not to him, which Regulus did not himself see. He was such a good shield between their parents and Regulus that the young boy didn’t even realise the service he provided. Scoldings, blames and beatings – there was nothing Sirius did not take for Regulus.

If Regulus’ childhood was painful enough not to remember, he could not stand the thought of how Sirius’ must have been.

That is part of how he learned not to resent him for leaving Grimmauld’s Place – even that he did in part for Regulus. When left alone with an increasingly vexed Walburga Black, Regulus learnt quickly how severe some punishments can be. Consequently, he learned what Sirius had endured for him, how strong of a shield he had been. 

Sirius knew he could no longer withstand the weight of that house, so he left, in hopes that he could be a better protector for Regulus from afar. Finding a good home full of warmth and smiles, and coaxing Regulus into joining him there under safer circumstances than he himself had. When the two had their infamous heart-to-heart, it was Sirius choking on the words “better protector” that finally broke Regulus – the first time he had cried in front of his older brother since they were little.

Now he knew well that Sirius loved him, beyond most words. And the things they said to each other during that talk where he convinced Regulus to leave might even mean more than a simple “I love you”. Still, it remained unsaid. 

It was simply not tradition for Regulus Black to speak them.

Then, he met you. 

What was that thing James always says? Game-changer? You were that for him.

Somehow, affection just came pouring out of you like you were overflowing with it and just had to share it. With your friends and your family, even strangers – it just came naturally to you. And when Regulus entered your orbit through his reunion with Sirius, you more than happily let that extend to him as well.

It absolutely floored him. 

The first time you said “I love you” to him was long before you got together or before he even had the nerve to actively flirt with you. You ran into him in the hallway and stopped him, trying to squeeze as much conversation as you could out of him in the few minutes you both had between classes. It was evident you were soaking up his presence as if it was truly enjoyable, and it warmed something in him he was only able to name later on. When you had to run, you ended the conversation with a casual “okay, see you later, I love you, bye!”. Regulus was left gaping. Nearly ended up late to McGonagall’s class because of you. 

Saying it as a form of temporary goodbye reminded him of how he used to ration his mother’s touches, it carried him until the next time he saw you. Except next time with you was dinner later the same day, and then breakfast and then hanging out in the library. He never had to wait long, never had to go wanton.

The love kept flowing freely from you in all the ways he had gotten used to over the years and then many more – physical touch, quality time, acts of services, words of affirmation, you checked off the whole list. He began calling you soleil, French for sunshine because of how you shone with that love for everyone. It was a slip of the tongue one day, and when he saw how it made you smile, he just kept calling you that.

With such a loving and lovely creature, Regulus thought he couldn’t help but fall in love with you; he was not at fault for it, you were entirely to blame with your loveliness.

His voice had shook some when he first confided in Sirius about it. The older boy had smiled fondly and joked, “That was not quite what I meant when I told you to make yourself at home with my friends, but I’m glad you’re comfortable.” Regulus argued he in no way shape or form felt comfortable with the emotion, but Sirius would have none of it.

His voice shook even more the first time he told you how lovely you look today, but unlike Sirius, you didn’t notice. You smiled and returned the sentiment with ease. He realised then that he would likely not be able to talk himself into a relationship with you, given his lack of skill and your lack of deducing any intent behind sweet words, so he went the Regulus-route as Sirius had called it.

Meaning, he pursued you through quiet, unwavering loyalty and company, attaching himself at your hip for as long as you seemed comfortable with it. When he realised there was no limit on the amount of time you were willing to spend with him, he went further. 

Regulus went to hold your hand for the first time in Hogsmeade. Looking back on it, you both laughed at how he spent ten whole minutes inching his hand closer and closer to yours, practically holding his breath, awaiting a rejection or harsh response. Ever so slowly, he interlinked his pinky with yours. An opening both for you to take it further or cast him aside, whichever you pleased he would accept. The beaming smile you flashed as you looked up at him then, lacing the rest of your fingers together tightly, never left his mind for long.

Hand holding led to walking arm in arm which led to prolonged hugs which finally, finally found you both sitting in the Astronomy tower, kissing with large, dumb smiles on your faces. The same night you had your first kiss Regulus surmises you probably had your first hundred kisses.

Now, laid in bed beside you, two years into dating, Regulus could not imagine not being comfortable around you. He smiles fondly when he thinks of the boy he was before you decided to simply drown him in affection, but he does not relate to him anymore. There is no place he would rather be than here by your side, in the flat he purchased for the two of you straight out of Hogwarts – the last time he can remember panicking before asking you to take the next step in your relationship – playing idly with your fingers as you hummed some melody he could not place. It felt right.

The one thing that had remained the same throughout your relationship, both before and after it turned romantic, was that you overflowed with “I love you”s and he had not said it once.

You had talked about it before, of course you had. Sirius had given Regulus a stern talking to about communication when you first started going out, unwilling for his baby brother and friend to get hurt by their own stupidity. 

“I don’t know if I can say it,” Regulus had said then. “It sounds ridiculous, but I don’t know how.”

“It’s a good thing you don’t need to then,” you had said so simply, through a smile that made his heart spin happily. “I know what I need to know. I like saying my truth because that’s how I am; but I am more than happy to accept you showing yours because that’s how you are. And I love you as you are.”

Regulus had known in his bones that you meant it, and that made it all the more sweeter. He attacked you with kisses after that, relishing in the giggles it drew from you.

“If it ever changes, will you tell me?” Regulus asked after, when you quieted down in each other’s arms. “If you ever need to hear it?”

You had said something about how you “do hear it”, always with your metaphors and abstract ways of viewing things. When Regulus, ever the pragmatist, had insisted on getting an answer to his question because “you know what I mean”, you had promised to tell him. You never did need to because it never changed for you.

It was Regulus it changed for.

In your shared bed, your hand in his as he followed its outline and your bare legs entangled, something deep in him shifted. You were sleepy and content above him, reading some paperback he borrowed you ages ago that you only picked up once you moved in together and all your books were in the same place anyway. He was laying half on top of your chest and staring at you with what had to be love in his eyes because that’s what he felt in his soul. He had been staring for the past half an hour, not even realising it, lost in his train of thought.

He had expected that when he would finally say it, there would be some grand reason, some special moment. Something that would cause that shift, something that required him to voice what he felt and you knew.

There wasn’t; it was just you and him, and he was so unbelievably happy and comfortable. He had tried microdosing love and you ended up giving him a lifetime supply instead. You were everything.

“Sol?” The question drawled out of him, mouth ahead of his brain but heart running miles before both. 

You looked up with a smile, stopping your absentminded humming. “Yeah, love?”

His eyes crinkled at the corners and he spent another minute just looking at your face. You let him, indulgent and sweet as ever.

“I love you.”

You froze. The smile remained on your face, the same contentedness there, but your eyes widened and your hand on his back stopped mid-circle. “What?” you whispered.

He kept staring at you with a smile, almost finding humour in your increasingly shocked expression, though some old part of him remained alert for rejection. Which makes no sense, she tells you it every day, he reminded himself. Still, old habits die hard.

You decided to trade one question for another upon his silence and your mental recalibration. “Why?”

“Why?” Regulus repeated through a laugh, as if the thought was incredulous. “Have you met yourself, soleil? Have you seen what you’ve done to me? I’ve always loved you.”

You sat up quickly at that, jostling Regulus up with you, though he was less graceful in the change of position as he did not anticipate it. You looked at him with the same wide-eyed expression. “Not what I meant,” you said then.

Regulus opened his mouth to say something, though he wasn’t sure what.

“But you didn’t have to,” you blurted out before he could. Rushed, almost frantic. “Don’t say it because you think you have to.”

Regulus furrowed his brows in confusion before they cleared up in realisation of your fear. He shifted to sit closer to you, practically pulling you between his legs, and grasped both your hands softly. They had been hovering between your forms, as if over an injury you did not know how to treat. Slowly, he dragged his thumbs back and forth over your knuckles. “Amour, soleil,” he whispered, emphasising the words with all his might. “I know I don’t have to. I wanted to. I want to, it feels right. I– I love you.”

The second time, the phrase flowed more freely from his tongue. Easily. He found he quite liked the taste.

You opened and closed your mouth twice, eyes flickering all over his face as if to deduce whether you trusted his words. Then, ever so slowly, he saw that smile he loves so much begin to grow over your lips, that looked increasingly more kissable to him.

“Yeah?” you asked him breathily through your oncoming grin.

“Yeah, baby,” he whispered. “I love you. I always have, you know. But I felt like saying it now.”

Your laughter was almost watery as you squeezed his hands in yours. “I do know. And I love you,” you asserted clearly, as if there had ever been any doubt.

“So I’ve heard.” The cheeky remark was the last thing that left Regulus’ lips before he moved forward and captured yours.

Just like that first kiss in the Astronomy Tower, one led to possibly a hundred more. Giggles and sighs all mixed together into what Regulus was proud to call his life.

A life with you. A life of love.

[tteokdoroki]

⋆ 𝜗𝜚 ˚⟡. — SATORU GOJO. the damage is done.

about. when satoru decides that he wants you (his ex) back, his foolproof plan starts off by making your new partner extremely insecure..

warnings. minors, blank and ageless blogs do not interact ! nsfw, smut, non canon, toxic relationships, love bombing, exes to lovers, gaslighting, infidelity, cheating, breeding, fingering, multiple orgasms, couch sex, oral sex ( f! receiving ), unprotected sex, ex boyfriend!gojo, fem!reader.

ex!gojo who slides into the dms of your current partner to slowly make them insecure.

he acts like a nice guy, offers advice on what to do when you’re mad, what you like to eat, how to keep you all sedated and happy. your current partner starts to gush about how cool of a dude satoru gojo is. how could you pass up on such an amazing guy? he’s rich, funny, caring — they can see how you fell for him.

but what they don’t understand is the greedy side of satoru — the one who one who wanted you all to himself. the guy who never let you go out, who made you cry but made you cum with the promise of never hurting your feelings again.

sometimes the advice gets a little too specific. how does satoru know where you keep your sex toys for kinky nights of fun. why does he know the spot that makes you arch your back off of the sweaty sheets just like that? or how many fingers you like to take? or how long it takes before you start gagging on cock.

it makes your new partner insecure, gives them performance anxiety and ruins the vibes of your bedroom. they can’t communicate with you, at least not properly — it leads to fights that are all too familiar. conversations you’ve had with satoru before. your little insecurities and biggest fears are thrown into your face, things they know will hurt you deep down you. these are some of the first times you cry because of your new partner.

it’s all too familiar, these are things you’ve gone through before with your ex — the recognisable twinge in your chest and feeling of guilt after being gaslight is something you know all too well.

“he was right, you really are just a cry baby.” they say. “since he knows so much about you, maybe you should go back to fucking him.” which feels like a bullet to your heart because you’ve spent so much time proving to your partner that you’re over your ex and all the bullshit that satoru put you through. all the drama and all the trauma he left you with.

your partner leaves for the night, leaving you alone with your tears and the tiny voice in the back of your mind that tells you it’s all satoru’s fault. it goads you into calling him, his number which you blocked but kept written down in your notes app in case of emergency. it’s been forever since you last spoke to your ex and told him you wanted nothing to do with him — so you’re surprised when he picks up on the second ring, seemingly happy to hear your voice.

“what did you do, satoru?” his name on your tongue is foreign yet also familiar. you’ve said it a million times before, in many different ways (lust, love and loss) but this time you’re angry. like the last time you spoke.

“what do you mean?”

he plays coy and you feel your temper bubble. “we got into a fight, i know it’s your fault. what did you say to them?”

“shouldn’t you be making up with them?” gojo answers your question with a question, his all-knowing smirk transcending down the static on the line. “why was your first thought to call me?”

that makes you falter, stops your typhoon of rage in its place.

the truth is, you know why you called. deep down you know that gojo could fix this, when you fought as a couple you would always call him first and in tears — letting him calm you down. gaslighting you in the process. he always knew what to say to scab over the wounds of your arguments, patching over deep cuts with little white lies even if he would reopen them and leave mental scars in place.

when you fight with your partner now, you seek the same sort of unhealthy comfort in the only person who you know will give it you and that’s exactly what satoru wants.

“let me come over,” he states, suave. “let me help you fix this.” he takes advantage of your emotional torment, butters you up with the promise of comforting you and against your better judgement — you let him. your partner abandoned you, satoru wants to help you. you’ve always known that he still loved you, at least he wouldn’t leave, at least he’s not like your partner.

regret will come in the morning, you think, when you let satoru into your apartment and back into your life. he knows that everything on the walls are different, the picture frames are now brown instead of white and hold photos of your current life in place of what you had with your ex. the furniture has moved and the diffuser at the entryway smells different. but as much as you’ve tried, you can’t get rid of your ex, satoru gojo. he will always make his way back to you.

he makes sure that you’re aware of this when he kisses you on the couch that you kept from your previous relationship. satoru tells you that you’ll always need him when he pins your hips to its leather with a strong arm and buries his white head of hair between your warm, thick thighs. he proves it to you with the way that his tongue licks broad strokes against the entire length of your sex and flicks at your clit because he knows that how you like you it, he knows you’ll cum in seconds if he eats you out like that.

there’s going to be a stain in the couch from just how much more you gush on satoru’s skilled fingers and tongue, as he moans against your sopping mound and tells you how he’s the only one who could ever make you see stars this way. his face gleams with your arousal and his eyes sparkle knowingly because it’s true. you’ve never felt as good as you have with satoru in comparison to anyone else. it puts doubt in your mind, makes you question why you even left him in the first place.

though, you don’t have much time to dwell on the thought…because in hurried yet precise movements — gojo is making you cum on his fingers again. the rough pad of his thumb possessively writes the letters of his name against your pulsating clit — hardened by blood that rushes to it, carrying lustful hormones from your frenzied mind. he loves how you taste when you cum, how you cling to him, how he knows that you’ll never forget this phenomenalfeeling after tonight.

it’s a little too intimate for two exes when satoru makes you ride him. his legs spread wide while you straddle his lap, creating the perfect angle for his cock to nudge against that one special pleasure spot inside of you. you’ve missed his cock, it’s perfect length and thickness — it’s pretty pink tip that oozes so much precum that’s all for you. it’s only ever been for you.

the way satoru’s large palms cup the globes of your ass and guide you back and forth over his lap unlocks a nostalgic and loving feeling in your rapidly rising and falling chest. he kisses you with so much passion that you’re reminded of the good nights you spent with him — making love until sunrise while his tongue rolls over yours and licks at your teeth. you’re naked and chest to chest, noses becoming neighbours while the course of your breathing syncs up. it’s overwhelming, how adored you feel in the moment, all while fucking your ex on the couch.

you grope at each other like it’ll be the final time you ever have sex like this. your hands settle at the base of satoru’s neck and his on your waist while you languidly move together in a salacious dance routine you’ve done so many times before. you’re perfect partners, it’s evident in the way you reward his throbbing cock with dribbles of your creamy arousal — droplets of soft white running down and catching on veins on his shaft.

“i’m always going to love you, baby,” satoru’s soft laments echo through the home you’ve made with your over lover — barely audible over his balls slapping against your peachy ass and your cunt selfishly squeezing down on him, squelching with every thrust. “i’m always gonna want you like this, even when we fuck up. e-even when we’re not together,” he growls and rambles, blissful blue eyes darting all over your face twisted with ecstasy and right down to where you paint him with arousal and suck him in so well. “fuuuck, i wanna cum…s-say you want it, say you want me.”

it’s overwhelming, how much love you have for satoru. for your ex. it washes over your feelings of guilt in regard to your infidelity, any bad emotion or thought of your partner cannot compare to the burning and bright lust that flickers in your tummy. when you fuck yourself down on gojo’s throbbing girth he pulls back out of your snug, salacious sex — creating a delicious cycle of friction that you never want to forget. that you miss so bad.

“i want…i want you!” you stutter, tears brewing in your starry eyes. “i miss you, i love you,” the words rush out of you before your hazy mind can even catch up and register them. you barely manage to register that you’re fucking your ex just mere hours after arguing with your special one. it doesn’t matter, not right now and not in this moment. not when satoru teases your clit until you’re able to cum all over him, painting his thighs with your slick as you slump against him.

even though he shouldn’t, even though he’s ruined your relationship, gojo cums inside your quivering cunt. fills you to the brim with his viscous, scorching seed and there’s so much of it that it seeps from your entrance — pooling okto the couch below.

“i love you.”

“i know.”

“come back to me, baby.”

“i…i don’t know if i can…”

you want to so badly, especially the damage is done, sealed by stolen kisses that’ll mean nothing in the morning.

satoru’s gotten what he wanted, to make you question your relationship and remind you of why you should come back to him. you fell asleep an intertwined mess on the couch and he leaves in the early hours of the next day.

all so that your current partner will never know the events that occurred on the night of your fight — you don’t have to heart to tell them when they come back the next morning with your favourite flowers and an apology. they shouldn’t have left you. they shouldn’t have gone to satoru behind your back. they love you.

but it’s already too late, a seed of doubt has been planted in your mind by your ex. you release that you still want him, that you might even miss him and the foundation of your new relationship becomes shaky and unstable.

you’ve grown insecure and you will always be comparing your current partner to your last partner. to gojo.

and your lover? now they’re insecure too, because you’re always so distant and you always smell a little different when you come home these days.

because you’ve started going behind their back to be with your ex, satoru, too.

꒰ end. — all rights reserved © tteokdoroki 2024. do not copy, repost, translate & recommend elsewhere.

[a-fangirltrash]

"Ford treated Fiddleford so bad!!" As if him treating Fidds like shit wasn't directly a product of being constantly gaslighted and abused by Bill.

I'm genuinely getting tired of people flaming Ford, but in a serious tone. Like people are acting like he's a toxic selfish man that used to put Fidd down... and... no he never did???

Ford ADMIRED Fiddleford, he TRUSTED his friend for what he described as "the project of his life" and Ford, being the most prideful man in the world, decided to ask for help because he knew how CAPABLE Fiddleford was.

When Fiddleford arrived Ford let him know how thankful he was that he was there with him, the man even took a bath and made sure to make him feel like he was at home. Ford even remembered his favorite bean brand?

When Fidd got traumatized by the gremoblin, Ford TRIED to help with what he knew. He tried to help him meditate, took days off for him, decided that they could go out and have some good time. Be mindful that this might've been the total OPPOSITE of what Bill wanted, and he still did for his friend sanity. Bill would make Ford work like CRAZY.

Also, for him it wasn't "putting him in danger!!" For him it was sharing adventures with his friend! Just like hi did with *cofcofSTANLEYcofcof*. That's love language all around.

Fiddleford could abandon the project anytime, but he didn't because he liked being there. And Ford is NOT the guilty one for Fidds creatinf the gun :/ it's nor his fault that fidd interpreted "using his creativity" in that way. Ford NEVER approved that gun.

Also, Ford noticed that RUBIK THING, HE APPREACITE HIM SO MUCH HE KNEW HIS HABITS. AND GOT CONCERNED RIGHT AHEAD.

"B-but he free Frilliam!" The portal was close, did you all READ how much gaslighted Ford was at that point? He didn't free it because "ugh i don't care about this shitty axolotl" but because Bill started to freak out and yell at him to get rid of it. Ford wrote "A friend" with a heart in the title??? Wdym he didn't appreciate it aaaagh

If Stanley took the diaries (i don't like this universe because...stanley:() he WOULD have looked for Fiddleford, they'd have made the Institute of Oddology, he'd have shared his success... with the man that helped him the most.

TBOB SPOILERS AHEAD

He got sad when Fiddleford told him he was gonna get back home to spent time with his family, he PLANNED holidays with him. Even if he DIDN'T like holidays.

He took a day off just to make him happy after his atrocious christmas party, he USED RESOURCES that as you know ford is the most practical mam in the world JUST to decorate the portal as a tree and make Fiddleford happy.

And that atuff of "h-he doesn't appreaciated Fiddleford gifts!" IS SO DUMB OMG, he wore the gloves in the snow and was incredibly thankful about them. When BILL that dumbass triangle pretty much LACERATED his hands, he used Fiddleford gloves as a way to hide those scars, and in a sense, probably to comfort himself because he was ALONE.

I think that was the reason of Fiddleford fast forgiveness, not only because he's a sweet heart, but because after fighting with Bill i think he noticed how BIG was the monster torturing his "partner".

And after all of this i'm not trying to excuse Ford treating him poorly and not listening to him in time

BUT FORD IS NOT A PERFECT VICTIM

Even if i believe he wasn't "the" (at least only) reason of Fiddleford becoming crazy, i know it could have been better for him and he could have avoided so much trauma. But can we please stop seeing Ford as a selfish, evil mad scientist and start seing him as a victim... of a terribly abusive relationship that checks in for all types of domestic abuse... please!!! Ford is not a perfect VICTIM Can we blame Bill!!!

All this rant is because there's certain ship... which i kinda like, but i just HATE HATE HATE the interpretation and how much they put Ford as a villian on it omg

Edit: fixed the use of word narcissism, since it might've been ableist! Replaced with words that actually relate to what i intended to say, instead of referencing a personality disorder

[these-written-reveries]

Crushed Hopes & Broken Promises

‣ Pairing: Keigo Takami (Hawks) x GN!Reader

‣ Summary: All hopes for your special dinner date with Keigo are crushed the moment he breaks his promise to you in favor of his workaholic tendencies.

‣ Genre: Flangst, Hurt/Comfort

‣ Warnings: Angst, crying, broken hearts, getting ditched during your date, Keigo is a workaholic, Keigo being a bit of an asshole, some mild references to spicy things.

‣ Word Count: 5,988

‣ A/N: I was prompted to write this after thinking about Keigo and how he'd likely struggle at times to be a great partner in a romantic relationship, due to his inexperience, trauma, and demanding job. The start of the relationship would be bumpy, for sure. But he'd always work hard to be better for his s/o, and that's what truly matters! Hope ya'll enjoy this piece!

Main Masterlist

A whistle carried through the grand living space of Hawk’s penthouse as you stepped into his line of sight. Leaning against a nearby wall with his hands in his pockets, he suddenly straightened his spine at the sight of you, his feathers twitching in excitement. His eyes scanned every inch of you, pleased at the sight of such a masterpiece walking his way.

“Baby bird…You look stunning.”

He could barely control the way his voice nearly bordered on a moan as he looked you up and down. You looked simply ravishing. How did he get so goddamn lucky?

“Are you tonight’s meal?”

You were certain you couldn’t be any more flustered as you shook your head. The way he was devouring you with his eyes, licking his lips like a starved animal, had your heart racing faster in your chest. He stalked towards you like you were his prey. The intensity in his eyes made you look away, only for him to firmly lift your chin up to meet his golden gaze once more.

“Would you like to be?”

His sultry tone, paired with the lustful look in his eyes made your knees wobble slightly. You could feel yourself nearly giving in, before you finally broke free from his trance, lightly smacking his hand away.

“Stop trying to seduce me right now, you siren!”

Keigo laughed, and your heart skipped a beat. “Can’t help it when you look so good, pretty bird. You sure you’re not the one trying to seduce me?”

You rolled your eyes playfully. “No…At least not yet.”

You smiled teasingly at him before pressing a kiss on his cheek. You were about to walk away when Keigo grabbed your wrist and pulled you back towards him.

“Uh-uh, baby bird. I’m not done with you yet.” He smirked before pulling you in for a kiss. It was passionate at first, but tapered into a tender finale before he pulled away, leaving you both a little breathless. He pressed his forehead against yours, staring into your eyes for a moment, a small smirk tugging at the corner of his lips.

“I’m such a lucky bastard.”

This made you scoff slightly, causing Keigo’s brow to furrow a bit as he pulled back to look at you properly. “What?”

“You’re not the lucky one, Kei. I am,” you spoke with certainty. “That’s why I wanted to create this nice evening for you. To show you how grateful I am for you.”

Now it was Keigo’s turn to scoff. “First of all, you’re wrong. Second of all, you don’t have to do all of this just for that. You don’t owe me anything, baby.”

“It’s not just for that reason! It’s also because I lo- care about you so much and I want you to feel as special as you make me feel. I may not have the same means to be able to spoil you like you do me, but I can at least give you a nice homemade dinner and romantic evening!”

You seemed nervous as you spoke, causing Keigo to reach for your hand and bring it to his lips. A soft show of affection and reassurance as he smiled at you.

“The evening already couldn’t get any better. I’ve got my baby bird in my arms and a delicious smelling dinner awaiting us at the table. Can’t think of a better way to spend the evening.”

He always knew exactly what to say to set your nerves at ease. You had put a lot of effort into tonight, trying to make everything perfect for him. He had mentioned previously how he’d never had anyone else cook for him before, so you decided to put your all into making him the best homemade meal for tonight’s date. You weren’t the greatest cook, so you spent the last week testing out the recipes for each part of the special dinner at your place, tweaking things as you went so that you wouldn’t mess things up tonight. Somewhat conveniently, Keigo had been gone on a mission all week, so it gave you plenty of uninterrupted time alone to prepare, without running the risk of him sneaking in through your balcony, like he so loved to do, and ruining the surprise.

Both of you had been looking forward to tonight’s date all week. Keigo seemed even more giddy than you were, knowing that he’d left the plans to his dove this time, upon your insistence. When he realized what you had planned for him, his heart nearly burst with pure adoration for you. He knew you weren’t the best cook, so the act in and of itself was enough to make him want to shower you with kisses. He almost did just that, until you reminded him that the food would get cold if you both didn’t quickly change for dinner.

It took all his self-control not to race to his bedroom like an eager child, just so he could hurry back to you. Even still, he was out of his hero costume and into his outfit, that you so lovingly picked out for him, in record time. A simple white button-down with a sleek black blazer, slacks, and matching loafers. You even laid out some accessories for him too, such as one of his gold watches and a matching gold necklace with a low-hanging pendant. Were you hinting at him to wear his shirt partially unbuttoned? How cute.

Keigo beamed as you led him over to the dinner table, admiring the way you had carefully set the table. A vase of red roses, guarded by a few burning candles, sat just far enough aside that the two of you would still be able to clearly see one another from your seats across the table. Sparkling, gold-rimmed white china plates sat beside red cloth serviettes atop the silky white tablecloth. He watched as you took the pre-opened bottle of red wine and poured some into his crystal glass.

“Sit, angel. I’ve been keeping the food warm in the oven. I’ll be right back,” you said, giving him a peck on the cheek before heading to the kitchen.

He sat down with a sigh, smiling at the beautiful presentation that you clearly put so much effort into. Not even a single piece of silverware out of place.

When you came back, you filled his plate for him, followed by yours. You refused to let him lift a finger, raising a brow at him when he reached out in an attempt to help you place one of the bowls of food onto the table. He couldn’t help but smile at you as you sat down across from him, his eyes so full of soft gooey adoration for you, you couldn’t help but feel heat rush to your cheeks as you broke free from his gaze, opting to change the subject before he flustered you even further. The man had a talent for making you look like a head over heels fool, just from a single word or look from those pretty golden eyes. You were certain he already knew the full extent of how you felt about him. You simply couldn’t hide it from him, no matter how hard you tried.

So why were you still so nervous about confessing your love to him tonight?

“I hope the food is good. Worst case, I have the number for our favorite takeout place ready to go,” you said, looking at the food on your plate.

“Honestly, dove, I can already tell it’s going to taste amazing, simply by how good it looks and smells. I’m genuinely impressed. You did all this yourself?”

You nodded, once again feeling heat rise to your cheeks as you picked up your fork and motioned towards his plate of steaming food. “Don’t hype me up too much, you haven’t even tried it yet.”

Watching with bated breath as Keigo took the first bite, you found yourself simultaneously relieved and pleased at the moan he let out, closing his eyes as he chewed the food carefully, making sure to savor every molecule of flavor. When he swallowed, he opened his eyes to find you staring back at him, a small smirk on your face.

“That was either an Oscar-worthy performance, or you truly like the food. Can’t quite tell which it is right now,” you joked.

Keigo chuckled, a big smile taking over his face as he reached for your hand across the table. “I may be a great actor, but that was all authentic, baby bird. Truly, this is the most amazing meal I’ve ever had!”

“Okay, now you’re definitely lying-”

“Am not! I’m not even surprised. This was made by my amazing, incredible, gorgeous baby bird, after all.” He raised his other hand, pressing the tips of his fingers to his lips in a silly “chef’s kiss”, making you giggle. “And you dare say I’m not the lucky one, huh?”

He pressed a kiss to your knuckles, eyes locked with yours, until he caught something else in his periphery. He must’ve been too enamored by everything else before to notice the small square gift box sitting at the corner of the table.

“And what is that?” he asked, curiously, nodding towards the thin white and gold box.

You followed his eyes, and he felt your hand tighten it’s grip a little on his.

“That’s for after dinner,” you said, watching him lift a brow at you inquisitively.

“You didn’t spend a pretty penny on me, did you birdie?”

You shook your head. “It wasn’t too much, promise. More time and effort spent than anything else.”

His eyes softened once more. “I truly am getting spoiled tonight, aren’t I?”

Giggling, you brought his hand to your lips, causing pink to spread across his cheeks. “You deserve it, baby. Now, eat up!”

Just as the two of you began to dive into your meal, the familiar ring of Keigo’s phone interrupted the peaceful ambiance of the room. You instantly grew tense, as did Keigo. He had promised you that he wouldn’t be on call for hero work during your time together for the next few days. Not only had you missed each other dearly and were very much in need of some quality time together, but Keigo more than needed the rest after the strenuous mission he had just completed.

You silently hoped it was a spam caller or wrong number as Keigo pulled his phone out of his pocket. But your hopes were crushed when he gave you an apologetic glance, stepping out of the room to answer the call.

Sitting at your place in the dining room, you left your food untouched as you waited patiently for his return. Perhaps he was simply getting a call to report some new important information to him, potentially about the mission he just completed. Even if they were trying to call him to the front lines, you were certain he’d decline and refer some of his other employees to cover for his absence.

But as the minutes ticked by, you began to grow more worried. What was going on? Was there some kind of grand emergency that couldn’t be solved without his specific order? The silence of the room was starting to eat away at you and put you on edge. You glanced back towards the hallway leading to the bedroom, hoping that he’d walk back out with a smile on his face, the kind that always set you at ease, and take up his seat across from you once more to continue your long-awaited romantic evening together.

Just as you were about to stand up to check on him, the bedroom door opened, encouraging you to stay in your place as you waited for him to walk back into the room. You smiled as you heard his footsteps, only for your smile to instantly falter at the sight of him in his hero costume instead of his date attire. He didn’t have the comforting smile on his face you were expecting, but instead, the stoic look of Hawks as he walked past you to grab the coat he’d left draped over the couch earlier and put it on.

You stood and made your way over to him, the lump growing in your throat that you tried your best to mask as you spoke to him.

“What’s going on?”

“Some villain attack on a nearby building. Got a pesky quirk and I’m the closest, so they called me,” he explained, like he was giving a fellow employee the rundown, rather than his partner, who he was about to ditch at any moment.

“W-What about dinner?” was all you could say. Your eyes were starting to burn with tears now as he quickly moved towards the balcony door, you following behind him like a sad puppy.

“Save it as leftovers! I’ll finish it later,” he said, putting on his visor as he reached for the door handle. You reached for him.

“Kei-”

“I’ll be back as soon as I can!” he called out as he swiftly moved past the doorway. You opened your mouth to speak, but you were cut off by the whoosh of his wings lifting him off the ground and into the air. Wind blew your hair around as you stared at the sky, watching him quickly become smaller and smaller until he was out of sight.

You stood there in shock for a moment. You were somewhat used to Keigo leaving on a whim after being together for so many months, but you truly were not expecting him to leave tonight, nor were you expecting him to act so…distant. He didn’t even kiss you goodbye or apologize for leaving. You suddenly found yourself questioning whether Keigo was even enjoying the evening before he got the call. He certainly didn’t waste any time in leaving.

You shook these thoughts out of your head. He was simply doing his job. And that meant switching into his “hero headspace”. That was all it was. He was focused on the job, like usual. That’s what made him a great hero.

That’s also what makes him a not-so-great partner, you thought.

Cursing yourself for even thinking such a thing about him, you stormed off and sat at the dinner table once more. Keigo didn’t deserve to be thought of in such a way. He had been an absolute angel to you since the two of you met. While you had only been dating for just over four months, you had both grown so close already. Even despite the fact that things were a bit more complicated due to his work, you were truly happy with him. You wouldn’t trade him for the world.

You loved him. That’s what you were planning to tell him tonight.

That’s why your nerves had been all over the place all evening. You were ready to take things up a notch with him, starting with your confession and a special gift to show him what he means to you. It was a daunting thing for you, considering he hadn’t said those three words first. He was usually the one to take the initiative with most things, tell you what he wants, ask you on dates, say what he really thinks about you, spoil you to high heaven simply because he wanted to. Even when you tried to do the same, he always seemed to be a step ahead of you.

But this time, you were determined to be one step ahead of him. You had worked so hard to make every detail of this date perfect for him, to make him feel even an ounce of the way he made you feel every single day you spent together. You wanted to surprise him, in more ways than one. That’s why you bought the most gorgeous outfit you could find, styled yourself to perfection, spent all week preparing to make the best homemade meal you could muster, and spent weeks beforehand crafting a heartfelt gift for him to go along with your confession.

You just hoped you wouldn’t surprise him too much with the confession itself.

Once again, you hoped. Hoped that he would come home soon, so that you could resume your evening together. Hoped that he would kiss you and smile and reassure you that everything is fine and that he wouldn’t dare miss another second of this wonderful time with you. Hoped that once you told him how you really felt about him, he would return your feelings. Or, at the very least, not reject them and run away. Hoped that he would love your gift to him. That he’d cherish it forever, along with you by his side.

The hours ticked by, your food still untouched as you hoped.

By the time the third hour grew near, you stood from your sprawled out position on the couch, breaking your gaze away from the time shown on the lockscreen of your phone. The food had been put away, the dishes cleaned. You couldn’t bring yourself to clean up the rest of the décor on the dining table, in hopes that he might come back home and still wish to eat with you at the table.

By the fourth hour and no text back from Keigo, your hopes were completely crushed, along with the special evening you’d put so much effort into.

You trudged your way towards the dining table, lip quivering as you took off the necklace Keigo gave to you not long ago, made with one of his feathers so that he could always track you and keep an eye on you for safety purposes. Though, it was quite clear that the other predominant reason was that he wanted to feel close to you, even when you were apart. You loved the necklace, but you also knew that he could sense your crying if he were to tune in enough to hear it, and the last thing you wanted was to distract him during his work. Knowing that the dam behind your eyes was going to break at any moment now, you gently set the feather on the table, next to your unopened gift to him, and walked to his bedroom.

It was too late now, and you’d had a few glasses of wine, so there was no point leaving his place to head back to yours, especially since he was expecting you when he got back. You’d promised to spend the next few days with him, after all.

Your phone dinged. A text message from Keigo showed on your lockscreen. Sighing, you bit back your tears, hoping he’d tell you he was on his way home. At least then you could at least enjoy a little bit of time together before you went to bed that night. Get him some food. You were sure he was starving by now. You would be too, if you weren’t so sick with sadness and disappointment and the lack of him.

Birb Man❤️: Won’t be home till later, baby bird. Don’t wait up.

Maybe you wouldn’t wait up. Maybe you’d leave and go back to your place. Sleep in your own bed. You weren’t all that pleased with the idea of sleeping with him anyway after the way things turned out tonight.

That was a lie. You wanted nothing more than to feel the weight of his arms and wings wrapped around you, shielding you from the rest of the world and making you feel safe. While you were disappointed and upset with him, you were too weak to reject such a pleasure; something you had been missing for over a week now.

Even so, perhaps it would be best if you left?

No.

You’d stick to your promise, at least. Even if he didn’t stick to his.

You took one last look at yourself in the full-length mirror in the bedroom before finally bursting into a fit of tears. Sitting on the edge of the bed, you covered your face as you sobbed.

Eventually, you managed to get yourself to take apart the masterpiece that you had made yourself into for the night. Your hands trembled slightly as you took off your beautiful outfit, thinking about how you were previously looking forward to him being the one to get you out of these clothes. You took your jewelry off, tossing it onto the dresser without caring about how it all messily scattered across the polished wood.

Once you were out of your own clothes, you dug around for something to wear to bed, settling on one of Keigo’s t-shirts. You almost whimpered at the comforting smell of him filling your nose, that only seemed to upset you more, before making your way to the bathroom.

You could barely see yourself in the mirror through your blurry, tear-filled vision as you washed your face and sloppily brushed your teeth between sobs, not paying much attention to the accuracy of your brushing.

All you could think about was him, and how selfish you were for wanting him to yourself. But could you really be blamed for this? The outside world got more time with your boyfriend than you did. You were always so understanding of his job, his responsibilities, his goals. You supported him, endlessly. Even when it left you feeling unfulfilled and lonely. He always made up for it, of course. He spoiled you non-stop with his affection and luxurious dates and gifts when he did have time to spend with you. And you were grateful. So incredibly grateful for his efforts. You knew he was trying his best and that’s what made all of it worth it.

But this time was different. You made him explicitly promise you that he’d be all yours for the next few days, and he agreed. A few days, and he couldn’t even follow through with this one humble request.

Keigo was a workaholic. You knew this. But you had hoped he’d at least understand how important these few days were for you and your relationship, especially since you hadn’t seen much of each other lately.

Keigo had two talents. Taking your heart to new, brilliant heights and leaving your heart crushed on the ground after subsequentially being dropped from said heights.

Of course, you knew he didn’t mean to hurt you. You just wished he could be as committed to saving your heart from such a demise as he was the rest of the world.

But just like your hopes, you knew exactly where your wishes would end up tonight.

Splattered on the cold hard ground alongside you.

Keigo could barely hold the weight of his wings any longer as he entered through the balcony door of his penthouse, wings drooping behind him. He let out a sigh, relieved to finally be home. His mind instantly went to you, wondering if you had already gone to bed or not.

His feet began leading him to you before he could even tell them to move. His feathers were exhausted, just like the rest of him, yet somehow the thought of you filled him with enough energy to leave them slightly twitching with excitement. They always had a mind of their own when it came to you.

Except, instead of the bedroom, his feet stopped at the dining room table. Confused, he was about to turn around, blame it all on his heavy exhaustion, until he caught the red feather necklace in the corner of his eye. He reached for it, taking it in his hand as he felt a pang of anxiousness run through him. Normally, you only took it off for brief moments, such as to bathe. Did you forget to put it back on? Did something bad happen?

He instantly rushed towards the bedroom, feathers already slipping underneath the crack of the door and surrounding areas to proactively inspect the rooms for anything suspicious ahead of his arrival. He could immediately sense your presence. The steady sound of your heartbeat and breathing instantly setting him at ease. He called his feathers back to him as he reached for the handle of the bedroom door.

He smiled softly at the sight of you curled up in bed, your back facing the door. He carefully walked over to your side of the bed, willing his feathers to stop their excited rustling, so as not to wake you, as he knelt down to your level.

The smile on his face quickly fell as soon as he registered your puffy eyes and tear-stained pillow. His heart dropped just as suddenly, the ache in his chest spreading.

Reaching out his hand, he gently tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, fingertips grazing against your cheek and causing you to stir slightly in your sleep. His mind was racing as he tried to piece together why you had been crying. To his knowledge, there was nothing that would have made you this upset. Nothing, except…

Him.

A flashback of Keigo dedicating these days off to you, sealing the promise with a loving kiss, played in his mind. The way your eyes lit up with excitement made him feel so full of love for you. He silently swore to himself in that moment that he’d do anything to keep you this happy all the time.

Turns out, he couldn’t even keep his own promises to himself.

Keigo buried his face in his hands, his eyes burning as he suddenly felt the urge to burst into tears. He was so tired after the week’s mission. He wanted nothing more than to spend the next few days with you. You always helped him recharge and get back on his feet before his next inevitably exhausting shift or mission.

He was even more thrilled that you were so adamant on being in charge of the date this time around. He had been looking forward to it all week long. Being away from you was torture. All he wanted was to be with you again.

Now, the consequences of his actions were really setting in. You had put so much work into this evening. You probably thought he was a complete and utter asshole. The worst partner in the universe. He wouldn’t disagree with you on that.

Keigo was not the best at relationships. He barely had real friends, never mind any romantic partners, before you. He knew he had a tendency to put hero work above all else. You had pointed it out before but was always quick to drop the subject once he casually explained that it’s just part of his job. He assumed you understood. This was what life was like with him. He was the number two hero. Everyone expected so much out of him. And he had big goals. To create a society where heroes could rest easy. You seemed to be supportive of this.

Perhaps too supportive…

Keigo left the room, wings drooping even more than before as he trudged down the hallway. He regretted ever answering that call, for taking the job when he knew he’d much rather be with you, enjoying the perfect evening you put together for him. Everything was perfect. You were perfect. Everything he had ever dreamed of and more.

God, he didn’t deserve you.

As he stared down at the little square gift box in his hands, he felt thoroughly and utterly ashamed. He didn’t even think about his promise to you when he agreed to the job, about how much work you put into the evening, for him. He just shut down, switched into autopilot, into hero-mode. He was in such a rush to get it over with so he could come back home to you that he didn’t even kiss you goodbye. Not even a simple apology left his lips.

He’d really fucked up, big time.

He didn’t deserve you, nor did he deserve your gift, but he couldn’t help himself as he sat down on the couch and lifted the lid on the box to reveal its contents. There was a note obscuring the gift beneath it, his name sprawled across the paper in your pretty handwriting. He opened it, his eyes scanning over the inky text.

“Keigo,

I wanted to give you something special; to show you how much you mean to me. I know this isn’t enough to do just that. I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to truly express to you how much I love you. But I hope you’ll like it anyway. Let it serve as a reminder that however near or far, you’ll always have my heart.

Love, Y/N”

You woke up after hearing the bedroom door click shut, your eyes starting to flutter open. Sleep still clouding your vision, you tried to scan the room, looking after your shoulder to find the room dark and empty. The bedside lamp had been turned off. Looking to Keigo’s side of the bed, you saw the feather necklace resting in his place.

Keigo must be home, you thought.

At first you were excited by this thought, until you remembered that you had just cried yourself to sleep because of him not too long ago. The emotional wound was still bleeding as you tried to pull yourself together enough to face him. You had to at least check to see if he was in one piece after tonight’s events.

Bare feet quietly padding on the heated hardwood floors, you made your way into the living area, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes as you looked around for any sign of the red-winged birdie.

A sniffle led you right to him. You froze, taking in the scene before you.

Keigo was sat on the couch, hunched forward as he looked at something in his trembling hands. Upon further inspection, you recognized it was the note and the necklace you made for him. Your gift to him.

“Do you like it?” you spoke quietly, though the silence of the room was so thick, it sounded louder than you had intended.

Keigo jumped slightly, turning his head to meet your eyes. How he didn’t hear you coming from a mile away was beyond you. You were never able to successfully sneak up on him. If the room wasn’t filled with so much emotional tension, you’d laugh and tease him about it.

Keigo looked back down at his hands, thumb running over the gold chain, though his eyes remained glued to the note itself. Three words stuck out to him, simultaneously making his heart race and filling him with a deep sadness. You noticed the object of his gaze, stepping closer as you nervously spoke.

“I wanted to tell you in person…Maybe it’s best that I didn’t." You whispered the last part to yourself, but of course, Keigo heard it too.

“What?” He glanced up at you, confused.

“Your crying Kei. You’re upset. You don’t like it, or you don’t share my feelings, or both. What is it?”

Keigo wiped his tears with the back of his hand, looking down in what appeared to be shame.

“It’s nothing like that, Y/N,” he spoke, barely above a whisper.

Your heart dropped. He never called you by your first name unless it was really serious. You began to fear the worst as he continued to speak.

“This is…you said you didn’t spend a lot.”

Oh. Is that why he was upset? More confused than ever, you decided to answer him, hoping he’d give you more information.

“I didn’t. A friend owed me a favor. They helped me make this for you at a low cost. It’s all real, though. The gemstones and everything.”

Keigo was quiet for a moment, looking at the intertwined heart pendants at the end of the necklace. You almost spoke again, just to break the silence, until he beat you to it.

“These are the color of your eyes,” he whispered, a small hint of a smile tugging at his lips that you didn't seem to catch as he lifted up the heart that was meant to represent you, admiring the gemstones embedded around it.

“Kei?”

“Hm?”

“Do you hate it?”

Keigo’s eyes snapped up to yours. Shaking his head aggressively, he reached out to you. The moment you latched onto his hand, he pulled you to sit beside him. Not letting go of your hand, he set the necklace down, along with the rest of the gift before turning to face you better.

“I love it. And I love you, baby bird. So much,” he said, voice wavering slightly as he seemed to become overcome with emotion again. Except this time, you could recognize it mostly as pure love and adoration for you, mixed with a sense of…sadness.

“Really?” you asked, a sense of relief washing over you, despite the overall uneasiness you still felt in the pit of your stomach. You weren’t used to seeing him so emotional. At least, not like this.

He nodded, placing his hands on either side of your face. “So fucking much. You have no idea. All of this…you…it’s everything I’ve always wanted and more.”

You looked at him warily. “Why do I feel like there’s a ‘but’ coming?”

“There’s no ‘but’. But there is a ‘sorry’. I’m so sorry, dove. I’m an asshole and an idiot and a terrible mate. I-”

“You’re none of those things, Kei.” You may have still been hurt by what he did, but you weren’t going to stand for him talking down on himself like that.

“Yes, I am. I stormed out of here so fast after getting that call; a call I never should’ve taken. I left behind the most amazing mate in the world, dressed to the nines, a delicious homemade dinner, and one of the most special gifts in the world. You, being the most special gift of all. I took you and all of this for granted and I'm so sorry.” He pressed a kiss to your forehead before meeting your eyes again.

“I promise I'll do everything in my power to make sure it doesn't happen again. I know my promises don’t mean much after what I did tonight, but I am fully willing to accept the consequences if I fail you again, Y/N."

You didn’t realize you were crying until Keigo gently wiped away a few rogue tears with his thumbs. He was staring at you so intensely, so full of love and determination, devotion, for you. Your heart could barely take it.

“All is forgiven, so long as you stop calling me that,” you finally spoke, semi-lightheartedly, causing his brows to furrow, until he finally understood what you meant.

His signature smirk replaced his serious frown, though his glossy eyes remained soft as he leaned in closer until his lips were inches away from yours.

“What should I call you, then? Baby bird? Dove? Sweetheart? Lovebird?” he teased, knowing that the new nickname would get you all flustered and smiling again. He needed to see that smile again, more than anything. He needed to see his baby bird happy, because of him. No more tears, just smiles.

Thank goodness, it worked. He practically beamed at the sight of it, his feathers perking up and twitching with excitement once more. He couldn’t help himself as he dove in for a kiss, giving you all the passion his tired soul could muster in the moment. You deserved every ounce of love he could possibly give. Now that you seemed to have forgiven him, he was determined to set things right again.

This time, he wouldn’t let you fall and hit the ground. He’d save you, along with your hopes and dreams and promises. While he wasn’t the perfect partner, he would never stop striving to be everything you deserve and more.

His only hope was that you’d continue to allow him to fly you and your heart to even greater heights.

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[scudslut]

Ok hear me out. Reader and Daryl go on a run for supplies with a few other people. Reader makes a mistakes and almost gets seriously hurt/ near death experience. Daryl gets pissed at reader, maybe yells at her. Reader laughs it off and acts like she doesn’t gaf. Daryl later finds reader all shaken up and crying by herself. Love if you don’t, love if you do!

stay with me

daryl x fem!reader

wc: 2k

warnings: typical twd gore/violence, mentions of death, mentions of trauma/ptsd

a/n: absolutely love me some good fluffy angst, thank u nony❤️ i hope you like it:))

As much as you tried to prepare yourself for the inevitable situations runs would put you in, the blood-chilling reality of it never got any easier. No amount of mental prep could stove off the sounds and smell of the dead, nipping ravenously for a taste of your sweet living flesh.

Of course, over time you’d learned just to shut your brain off and fight. Fight as hard and tirelessly as you possibly could, but mistakes could still be made. Shit happened, whether it was your fault or not.

Hours earlier, a group of you went a few miles east of the prison; Daryl having spotted a little strip a few days prior, not too overrun that he thought might be loot-worthy.

It was a simple run really. Keep close, hit a few shops in and out, then head back home. That’s it. Follow the plan, get as much useful shit as possible, and get the fuck out of there. You guys had it down to a science at this point, runs becoming so second nature it was almost too easy to let your guard down nowadays.

“Hey D, I’m gonna go check the storage room back here. Might have something we could use,” you voiced to your partner a few isles down, still keeping your tone as low as you could.

“Gimme a sec, I'll come help ya,” you heard him say but you kept moving. You two had already cleared the main area, you could handle a walker or two if there actually was any behind the small door. You figured you would’ve heard something by now, some sort of banging or grumbling to announce their presence, but there was nothing, the coast presumably clear.

You should have waited.

Crossing the few miscellaneous isles you reached the back door, giving it a small rattle. Still complete silence, not even the faintest groan or shuffle. Knife at the ready, hand clamped over the cool metal handle, your heart rate picked up a notch as it always did before opening into the unknown.

“You got this, come on,” you muttered to yourself, before throwing the door open, bracing for attack. The door flew wide, only to reveal a dark, empty room. Squinting through the dimness, a few high, dusty shelves were visible, stocked with all sorts of canned goods. Fuck yea, that was certainly useful.

“D! Come look what I found!” you rasped, dropping your knife into its holster and shuffling in. You unslung your backpack from your shoulders, digging through it for a flashlight excitedly. It’s been so long since you’ve found this much canned food, surely enough to keep the group well stocked through most of the winter that was approaching. A loud creak from the left caught your attention as you sped forward. Hands finally finding purchase on the flashlight, you flicked it on, scanning across the room to the sound.

Dust caked the air, making the already dark room fuzzier and your eyes took a minute to adjust. You took a few smaller steps closer, peering wearily ahead and then you saw them.

Beady, soulless eyes staring back. A whole rickety staircase of them, heads turning one by one to the light source in your hand.

“Oh fuck.”

There had to be at least 10 of them that you could see, the top of the stairs pitch black and unrevealing.

Your feet stumbled backward, hands desperately reaching for the knife at your hip, dropping the flashlight in the process. It rolled and caught under your heels, knocking you on your ass as the corpses advanced, jaws snapping.

These were those moments. When you felt your heart in your throat, brain stuttering on action. Time moved so slowly that the fragments were almost visible and every thought screaming in your mind sounded like gibberish. You know you should move, is that what it was screaming?

The first one got to you, grabbing your leg trying to crawl up and finally, you were kicking, scrambling, grabbing onto the knife and slamming it into its skull with a loud squelch.

“Daryl!” you yelled. You needed him. Now.

3 more dropped before you, slinking towards you and you were trapped — the first corpse lying heavily over your midsection.

“Yea, yea girl. I heard ya,” you heard him respond, still sounding a few isles away.

No no no, this was not how you were gonna die. Not today. Please.

You kept stabbing, each kill taking everything out of you as you struggled against the body weight atop you. They just kept piling, you could hardly feel your legs anymore, the circulation surely cut off below your knees. And more were coming, a never-ending stream of hunger.

Another one landed before you and you had just enough time to catch its shoulders before it was inches away, snapping at your neck. Your arms burned, tears welling in your eyes as you realized this could be it. You didn’t know how much longer you had before they gave out and rotting teeth would be sinking into you, tearing you apart.

The walker kept snapping, so close you could see the layers of rotting flesh peeling from its face. You had been close to walkers before, had stared into the lifeless eyes too many times to count, but this was different. More were coming and the face in the reflection of its eyes was barely recognizable — terror painting every feature you’d known on you distorted.

The bones cracked in its left shoulder and it dislocated, dropping down to centimeters from your skin.

“No,” you sobbed quietly. Daryl wasn’t going to make it, you knew that. He was going to walk in and find his girl as dinner. You hoped he just booked it, and didn’t waste his time trying to save what would long be gone.

The walker fell limp in your arms and you flinched harshly, expecting excruciating pain to follow as it bit. But there was nothing.

“The fuck are ya doing! Get up!”

Daryl was suddenly right before you, ripping each body off your aching limbs and you were now acutely aware of the larger pile by the stairs, all with arrows and stab wounds littering their heads. When had he gotten in here?

You didn’t hear his words, adrenaline coursing so loudly through your system that all that could be heard was a loud, shrill ringing.

“Goddammit girl, wake the fuck up!” he shouted, grabbing you by the shoulders in an attempt to lift you. Your brain caught up then, as he harshly placed you on your feet. Walkers scattered the floor around you, and a grumble at the stairs announced it wasn’t the last of them.

Daryl reached down, grabbed your dropped items, and shoved them in your dumbstruck hands. “We’re gettin’ outta here, now,” he seethed, dragging you along and slamming the door behind you both, crossing the lines of isles quickly to the front entrance.

The fresh, afternoon air hit your nose in a gust and the last of the fuzz chipped itself from your senses slowly.

“Hope yer fuckin happy with yerself. Can’t ever listen to a goddamn word’a mine, can ya?” Daryl quipped beside you. His eyes were slits as they dug into you, so fuming you could see the heat radiating off his skin in the early autumn brisk.

He was angry at you, you knew that. But you also knew it was because he was scared. Hell, you were fucking terrified to stone back there, but if you wanted to calm him down at all, you knew you had to act unfazed.

Gathering any remaining wits about you, you took a deep inhale, “I’m sorry, I wasn’t expecting them.”

He didn’t respond, wouldn’t even look at you anymore as he began to pace the graveled parking lot.

“Hey don’t stress Dar. I’m alive, we’re good,” you attempted to soothe further.

“Don’t stress? Yer a real piece a work, y’know that! Always fucking up everyone’s shit cause ya don’t wanna use yer brain, huh?”

Well, that did not go as you expected.

The rest of the group had started shuffling out of the other shops around you, making their way to the vehicles.

“Jeez, you need to lighten up,” you brushed past him, head high. You couldn’t let his words affect you, not with all the other emotions coursing as well. You didn’t understand what he meant. You had never put anyone other than yourself in danger, how could you possibly be fucking over everyone else?

You decided to wait in the car as the rest of the group went back for the cans, tag-teaming whatever walkers remained. The loot had decently filled both trunks and everyone was happy to call it a day and head back.

Your eyes followed Daryl as he jumped into your car, eyes trained on the windshield, “Ya alright at least?” he muttered glancing at you briefly while shifting the car into drive.

“I’m good, you big grump,” you huffed with a tight-lipped smile. “That much food will last us a long time. I believe a thank you is in order, don’t you think?”

You were not good. Not at all, but there was no reason to worry him anymore, putting him through enough today as it was. Your hands were shoved tightly under your thighs, so he couldn’t see the tremors racking through you.

You had smelt death so many times it didn’t bother you much anymore. Today you had smelt your own. Saw your life in that walker's eyes, mere seconds away from demolition. It was safe to say you were shaken to your core.

The journey back was silent, both not in the mood to chat for very different reasons, and the whole time you were trying to keep each breath of yours steady.

You helped unload as much as you could, before slipping away discreetly to your cell. You didn’t want anyone to see you like this, you felt kind of pathetic honestly. This was life now, it had been this way for a long time now, you shouldn’t be so shaken up as you were but the terror just wouldn’t leave your body.

Panic washed over you once again as your eyes hit your dim cell. Your mind was quickly slipping back into those last moments, the darkness and dust all too similar. The fear you had felt coating your veins icily and your breaths started to become agitated. There was nowhere else to go though. If you left the cell someone would see you.

Subconsciously, you backed yourself into the corner of the room, crumbling down to the floor with your head in your hands. Deep down you hoped your hyperventilating would knock you out. You didn’t want to think anymore — see it anymore. Tears were burning the back of your throat as you held down sobs, feeling the walker's hands and weight atop of you all again.

A small yelp escaped you when the hands became real. Pressure on your shoulders and waist and your head snapped up from its hiding spot, reflexes already prepared to fight whatever presence was with you.

“It’s jus’ me, hey, hey,” you heard through your panic, his blue eyes just recognizable through blurry tears. “S’okay, relax.”

You couldn’t calm down this time, vicious sobs finally breaking their way out of your frame. Running was your first thought; you didn’t want anyone to see you like this, Daryl or not. Emotions were never a strong suit of yours and would always find yourself dealing with them in private, away from sympathetic words and pitying eyes. But Daryl was never like that, he drew you in and held you tight, uttering no more words other than the ones to confirm it was him. If you asked him to say more, he would, but he knew this was what you needed. Someone to ground you back onto Earth and out of whatever images tormented your head.

So that’s what he did. Held you for hours as your body expelled all its terror and lingering adrenaline. He’d give quiet coos through each wave of shakes, grabbing a blanket to warm you through the cold sweats. And finally, once the fear faded to exhaustion, he scooped you up off the stiff concrete and into your soft cot.

“Stay with me?” you rasped, throat parched and raw from crying.

It wasn’t a second thought for him. He was never truly angry with you, and he knew you knew that. He needed you safe with him.

“Always.”

[weepingtalecowboy]

Doll shenanigans are creepy by default

Fanfic prompt : Legend but he accidentally lost his hylian body somewhere in hytopia after he got his two dolls

And never bothered with finding it again because he doesn’t feel any pain in his bones ,… if he simply doesn’t have any bones.

And the joints can always be fixed or oiled to keep working and even be replaced in worst case scenarios

He certainly has the money to repair magical things and stuff

After link between worlds he also had someone who had experience with magical artifacts and could potentially fix them ,

… if not he still has another doll in his basement somewhere

Ravio considered himself the luckiest man alive to be both able of studying such a genius construct …

And also a house with no rent ,

A hylian citizenship AND a life partner ,

An opportunity to set up a very close to illegal shop (his weapons are NOT overpriced he swears on link's right arm ‘that he can replace with no problem’)

A legal business on creating Prosthetic limbs (no way is he going to let his knowledge of Link breaking off legs for stupid reasons NOT turn into a new business … he has way too much experience)

And even the favor of the princess

His life can’t be better and all because Link has been breaking limbs enough to get a permanent 50% off deal from the sheer knowledge of building prosthetics that Ravio got from rebuilding him over and over again when he stumbles back with half his body missing and face torn off…

(It was a horrible first experience to say the least)

When Ravio went on to go join the war of ages he was the go to guy to get perfectly functional… but ungodly overpriced prosthetics

He was not at all ashamed about being in love with a doll (nobody quite got the sentiment of that)

Wars was very much ignoring that

Tune for odd reasons kept snickering when Ravio spoke about how great his (probably not real) husband was

During linked universe Warriors and legend still bickered until …

Warriors after his night watch: *goes to check the pulse of the person closest to him just to be sure*

Warriors realizing that legend has no pulse , no signs of breathing ,no body warmth , no movement or twitch implying any signs of life : *starts aggressively trying to resurrect him … chest compressions*

Warriors obviously failing at it : “cries*

Legend hearing it : *opens eyes just to realize his brother broke his non self repairing rib cage*

The entire chain (minus Sky) was awake and ready for a fight

Just to see Warriors crying in relief and holding Legend (bro was reliving trauma that moment)

Afterwards he was really having a bad time with his bent rib cage and unfortunately being examined by a field trained soldier, a healer and then dragged to a doctor in the nearest village

But obviously they would have never assumed that Legend is a doll with full body mobility ,a sense of self and metal joints

They concluded that legend is overachieving with every new breath he takes and probably is about to die because of his weak heart beat ,

His very cold and rough skin in some places (fake magic skin is expensive … he can’t replace it every single time)

His very minimal breathing

The sheer horror Warriors felt when he realized the dent in legend's chest is simply not healing from when he broke the ribs by accident

Means that now everyone is convinced that legend will evaporate if they turn their eyes away

And Hyrule and Warriors are feeling horrible because they can’t fix it… or just make it slightly more bearable

NOTHING WORKS on him (it’s twilight's injury all over again)

It only got worse when legend told the chain that he has been having such problems since his last three adventures already (telling people he is an object never turns out well)

The chain became overly affectionate

The sheer amount of relive they felt when Ravio somehow fixed the dent

And the most intense anger when they realized that they were worrying for literally nothing

The chain finding out that Ravio fixed the worst damage: …. : ) finally he good

The chain when they realized that Legend was Ravio's doll in question: >:(

The chain reaction when legend admits he lost his body somewhere as if it is something acceptable to say : :o

The chain : how did you lose your body

Legend : accient :) silly mstke

[originalwinnercheesecake]

Wish list for CBS ghosts season 4

Make Patience a recurring antagonist for at least 2-3 episodes before that story gets resolved and she gets regulated to a background character.

Patience character to be 50% good religious farm girl, 50% crazy witch. She also needs to have a wicked(ly cool) ghost power

More of Isaac loving dinosaurs

More solo development for Isaac

More of Isaac and Hetty's awesome friendship

No Nigel for a while. I do not like him. He did a lot of things in his and Isaac's relationship that are textbook abusive partner behavior.

I think it is about time for Jay's restaurant to start up, and I would like that to actually become pretty successful/profitable. Mostly because I would like Sam and Jay to have a bit more disposable income to do things around the manor, and I know the B&B is unlikely to become super busy next season (unless the show is ending , which I really do not want).

The difference in treatment between the above ground ghosts and basement ghosts to be addressed. I know after season 3 that they aren't going to move them all up stairs. But it would be nice if Sam and Jay could like furbish the basement , and then more Basement ghosts than just Nancy got invited to come upstairs for games or discussion.

Just to be clear I still want Nancy to keep making her frequent visits up stairs and hang out with the man 8. I just also would not mind seeing Stuart or another nameless basement ghost standing or walking by in the background on the occasion.

Explore Pete's power more. He does not need to hop on a plane and go across the country or anything, but let him keep going out into town and having adventures. Also let him keep going on dates with other random ghosts outside of the house.

I know that Pete&Alberta will probably happen at some point in season 4. The thing is though while that ship was cute in season 1, the way the ship was handled in season 2 soured it like milk to me. Both characters need a lot of development, and separate explorations of what they want out of a relationship, before I can ship them again.

H-Money is still a couple I kinda like. I do not expect them to get back together in season 4 (Please not another season that is fully devoted to coupling up all the character), but I would like them to start scheming together again. Let them figure out how to interact together as friends, and build a stronger foundation to eventually, in season 5 maybe, try again.

I have heard people suggest that Pete's power could maybe be extend to getting the other ghosts through the barrier if they are like holding onto Pete's hand. I want this. Now I know Sass will want to visit a Pizza Hut, and Issac a dinosaur museum, but I would say the most important thing to do with that would be to take Thor and Flower over to the Farnsby manor to visit Bjorn and his girlfriend Judy. It would also be cool if there was a lesbian ghost living there they could set up Nancy with. Since Nisaac is on a "respite" and queer representation (preferably healthy queer representation) is important.

Everyone remember in season 2 when we learned about Flower's super protective, formally MIA, army vet brother : Rob. You remember how the show's staff said they would love to have Rob come to the B&B for a visit, and were already considering actors who could play him? I want this episode. Also if you cannot directly tell Rob his sister is a ghost on the property, then can Trevor or Alberta use their powers to help Flower send a message to Rob. To say that she still loves him. I cannot deal that both siblings spent like 50 years thinking the other hated them when neither did. It is to sad.

It would be cool if we could also have Ira visit once too. I know Flower did not love him like she did Michael or does Thor, but he was still someone who was a big part of her life for a while, and knowing her cannonly had a large impact on his. Maybe we find that while he has done charities in her memory, trauma over watching her be killed by a bear has also lead him to sponsor bear hunts or poaching. Flower is horrified. Then Sam and Jay have to spend his visit looking for a way to convince him that is not what Flower would have wanted.

Four standard episodes for each season are a Halloween episode, an episode where Bela visits, one where Stephanie wakes up, and one where Crash appears and is slightly relevant. I have no idea what to do for an episode with Crash, but for the others

-Ghost animals on Halloween

-Home theater night for ghosts and guests on the night Stephanie wakes up, complete with all the drama of set up and shenanigans that going to the movies encores.

- Bela is broken up with Eric, she does not even like him. This time her and Jay's parents come with her for the visit. Bela wants all the latest gossip surrounding the ghosts, but they have to tip toe around the parents. Jay's dad does not fully support the B&B even without the knowledge that it is haunted, and Sam does not want to give her mother in law another reason to suspect that she might be crazy.

Owning back to the "Can Pete take the other ghosts off the property" theory, can Thomas Woodstone be a ghost who died visiting a neighbors property. We have no reason to see Elias again since he has decided to stay put in Hell. But Thomas reappearing could be interesting for both Hetty and Alberta. If he does show up though I want the twist to be that he is actually severally cognitively impaired (think Lenny from oMaM)... I mean the man was from an inbred family, played with lead based toys as a baby, had a cocaine addict mom, and a father who was a lot of things. He could not have been all there. Also address more on if Earl ever actually cared for any of the people he was two timing (again development that needs to happen to make Alberta want to go from dating an Earl to a Pete).

A Sasappis based episode that is not his death story. I feel like he needs at least one more episode exploring what his life alive was like, to be appropriately gutted when we learn about his secret death.

Actually maybe we can hold off on Sass's death and Hetty's ghost power until season 5. let's keep the element of mystery in the show for a little longer.

[wield-the-mighty-pen]

Can we all just think about what this day has been for Adrien?

Imagine you wake up for the day, excited to have your bi-yearly scheduled lunch with your father, only to be told he has canceled on you once again and when you finally get the courage to speak your mind and talk to him, he interrupts you and tells you that you will be moving away from your home and beloved friends (with a person you hate) for an indefinite period of time. Imagine then, that you head to school, where you share a tender moment with someone who is definitely not just a friend and they give you the advice to talk to your father.

You then get home from school, where you are ambushed by your manipulative cousin, who is offering to trade places with you and help you out with your problem, only to discover he is scheming again. Before you can do anything about that, you have to go save the world with your superhero partner, who you've been feeling a little neglected by lately and for some reason, all those negative feelings seem to be manifesting right now during the fight. She then call in some reinforcements, and this new guy, that she keeps fawning over is giving you bad vibes (it's definitely not just jealously guys).

You save the day and head home, this time with the intent of actually confronting your father, only to be stopped by your superhero partner, who for some reason is looking for your civilian counterpart. She claims that she handed you a miraculous and you very quickly realize that your scheming and manipulative cousin, was scheming and manipulative.

You watch as your partner has a panic attack and do your best to calm her down and help her retain some miraculous. You hear her muffled cries through the door and when you go to check on her, she's gone. You find out that the villain you fight has got a hold of the miraculous and you go to find your partner.

You find her and manager to comfort her, all the while sharing a not-at-all platonic moment with her, and you prepare to fight the villain who has re-monikered himself and given himself new powers.

You see the rabbit miraculous and what looks like a future version of yourself show up and you realize that you will have to go through time in a time battle to reclaim the rabbit miraculous. You are given a rabbit miraculous to use and your very concept of space and time are altered as a result. After a lengthy, convoluted battle, you say goodbye to a good friend and decide to head to London to interrogate your aunt. The interrogation leading nowhere, you decide to head home only to be immediately called by your partner asking you to head to the wax museum and pose like a statue (which totally brings back some memories for you...). You finally get rid of that piece of paper in your bell and manage to capture the villain who you've been fighting for so long.

Except, the plan fails. The villain manages to get away with all of the Kwamis and now you have a weight on your conscious. You have just used against a person the power you vowed to use only for good. You are reminded of the significant power that you wield.

You once more arrive home and turn on the TV to try and distract yourself. Only to see that there's once more a problem that needs your help. You get there and see two people who have similar powers to you and your partner, but there's something wrong. Your partner asserts that they aren't akumatized, but you are wary. You learn that they are a version of you from a different universe, or at least a version of your power. You once more, are reminded the of ultimate destruction you have at your fingertips.

You come to understand that these doubles are in fact your partner and yourself from another universe. A universe, where the villain you are fighting is now your ally. Once assuring your friends are safe, you go after your double to fight them. When you meet to speak to them person to person and talk through your shared trauma. You learn that he too lost his precious mother, but he has no one to help him through it. You relive that loss together. You talk him down from making the wish that a part of you wants to make every single day. You begin to realize the version of you isn't bad, he's just hurting.

After ensuring the safety of other universes and giving a hopeful send of to your doubles, you finally, finally this time head home for the night.

Surveying around your room, you are reminded of the morning that feels like forever ago. You remember what your cousin said, what your good friend said. Emboldened by her words, you decide it's time to face your father. You go to his office where he's working and utter the words you never thought you would: I don't want to be a model anymore

Your father passively assents to this, and finally finally you are free.

You are filled with gratitude and this odd warmth that you don't spend too much time analyzing. You need to do something to thank the person who's advice got you what you so desperately wanted. You decide to call her up and thank her face-to-face.

You call her on the phone, which gets answered by her best friend, and then finally her and you give her your most sincere expression of gratitude, thanking her for everything she has done for you this past year.

As the warmth inside of your chest grows, you tell her you will do your best to pay it. You end the phone call with a smile on your face and a happy sigh.

Finally, with thoughts of your dear friend roaming around your mind, you fall asleep exhausted but happy.

This was all one day.

[georgiapeach30513]

With Your Touch, Part 5

Summary: Some things just weren’t meant to be ignored.

Pairings: Lloyd Hansen X Reader

Rating: explicit

Warnings:  Language, voyeurism, masturbation (M&F), pillow grinding, The Verb, non con moment, implied fighting, tension, mentions of childhood trauma, 18+ ONLY

Word Count: 5.4K

Previous

Series Masterlist

*dividers created by @firefly-graphics

You were getting to Lloyd. He should have noticed it sooner, but he was too worried about his daughter, and then it was you that was occupying his thoughts. The forbidden fruit. Lloyd loves the succulent taste of something he’s not supposed to have, therefore you became an obsession. An obsession that he began to care about. An obsession he desired more than anything.

You entwined your kind and damaged self into his very being, and he needs to keep you for himself. Protect you from the world that so desperately wants to destroy women like you. Women who have it all, and are still overlooked. You were even going right down the path that they all did. A prick of a boyfriend that you didn’t love, didn’t want, but you just made it work because he ticks off imaginary boxes.

You were too pure for the men in your world. They’d have you beaten into submission, and be their perfect little housewife, while you became a woman like your mother. Did whatever your husband said because he paid the bills. You would make exceptions to your happiness because he gave you a life of luxury. He could go off and spend all his time with whores and secretaries while you sat at home becoming bitter.

He hated The Verb with every part of him, your dad was just barely below The Verb. The only reason he tolerates your father now is because he’s the reason you were searching for the love of a man. And because of your mother you accept subpar men like The Verb, and make excuses of it being love. It wasn’t.

Love is the way you lift Lyla up in the air above your head, while she giggles down at you. Love is pulling her closer to your face so you can kiss all over her cheeks. Love is sitting on a blanket in the park with the stupid expensive pram so Lyla can get outside. Love is enjoying the time that you get to have with her. Love is the confusing feelings you feel for him.

Because no matter what you say, he sees the feelings you have for him. You even got off with his name on your lips, and it was beautiful. He wants to hear it again. Hear it whisper across his skin, while your walls both literally and figuratively crash down. Becoming so soft after you orgasm over his cock that you are pliant, and just need him to hold you. His obsession runs deep, but at least it is pure intentions.

“Was watching her through your phone not enough?” Ari asks, as he sits down on the bench beside his friend. He looks in Lloyd’s direction as you lay Lyla on the ground, praising her when she flips over and gets into a crawling position. “I didn’t take you as a sap.”

“Me neither,” Lloyd barely responds, but smiles right along with you. “Why are you here?”

“Why are you?” Ari looks more at his friend before he looks back at the two of you. “She’s a natural,” every time that he has seen you with Lyla you didn’t look like her au pair at all, you looked like her mother. Even now, she seems like your baby.

“Yeah, she’s raising her daughter the way she wanted to be raised,” Ari opens his mouth, but closes it immediately. His eyes drift around the park, trying to make sense of whatever is going through his partner's head. “I didn’t want this. Either of them. I was supposed to continue to slut around with whoever I wanted, and go to work. That was my life. So you tell me why either of them came into my life, and I’m not supposed to do anything about it?”

“You should know that life gives us curveballs, and we have to figure it out along the way. Like Lyla. You brought Roman’s daughter into your life. And now you’ve got another problem.”

“A fucking hair in my eyeball that is festering and is named after a damn verb. That boy,” Lloyd releases a growl low in the pit of his stomach as he thinks about the vile things that boy said to you. And that is just what he has heard. He’s sure that Chase has said messed up psycho babble to you, that you never asked for. The way he looked down at you, and was already putting you in your place makes him sick. “Fuck.”

“Is that what you’re wanting to do with your sweet little au pair? Fuck her?”

“Yes. Dream about it every night while I fuck my fist,” Ari rolls his eyes, pretending he didn’t hear any of that. Last thing he wanted to think about was Lloyd fucking someone’s daughter. “But it’s more than that.”

“You want her to take care of your daughter.”

“I want to protect them both. And I enjoy the moments that don’t have this intense sexual tension. I enjoy her. And what she wants, and I just get her,” he did. Chase doesn’t know what he has, but Lloyd does. You would see. “I’m tired of this conversation. They’re both mine. And I don’t share.”

“You’re talking about a woman that actually isn’t yours.”

“She will be, Ari. I can promise you that. Let’s go. I’ve gotta get home early,” he gives the two of you a final look. Wishing he could linger, and watch you all day. See how patient you are with Lyla even if she cries. See how you adored her so much you couldn’t stop kissing her, and smiling at her. He is tired of avoiding you. And he isn’t going to avoid you anymore. Sexual tension be damned.

“And you go in your seat,” Lyla pulls her feet up in a silent protest to not sit in her high chair. She’d been doing this all day. “You are so needy for attention today, but you need to sit in your chair,” furrowing her brows, she looks at you with her bottom lip puckered out. “No, don’t give me that face.”

Opening her mouth to babble incoherent words in a sassy tone. “Are you really going to sass me after I made dinner, and made you your special food,” she keeps her legs tightly pulled up, and you look at your plate and her plate both getting cold. Maybe you were giving in to her too much, but she is a baby.

“Okay, okay. You’ll just sit in my lap, and we’ll wait for daddy. Say dada,” she giggles, shaking her head no. Her chubby little fingers reach for something to gnaw on for a moment, and you sneak a bite of your own. “Your daddy is scared of me. Yes, he is.”

Since that night, Lloyd had avoided you. Claiming he was working late, but you knew better. He checked in less, too. Having cameras gave him the ability to not check in, you suppose. Before he didn’t care. He’d call or send a text, now he does nothing. You figured he just didn’t want to see your face. “I think things got too heavy with us. He’s a bit strong, you know. But he’s pretty cute,” you giggle, making sure to kiss her cheek again.

“He’s very cute. And he has these arms, and his legs, and his lips. I think I like his hands the most. They’re so thick — and soft,” you close your eyes a moment, drifting off into a fantasy of being draped over his legs. “But it’s a bit too complicated,” sighing because you know that you’re not going to go that route. It was too complicated already. It was best if the two of you just kept going the pace you were going.

“But you know you’re daddy’s cute.”

“I am?” Your smile fades as the very man you were talking about waltzes into the dining area with a cocky grin. Lyla’s legs kick around, and she makes the sweetest grabby hands towards him. “Can daddy make him a plate? He sure is hungry,” her giggles turn into shrill screams, and her legs and arm flail. “Lyla Bee! You quit that, girlie.”

“I’ll make you a plate, Lloyd. Here, take Lyla biddy boo Bee,” the sound of your silly voice to her as you walk to her daddy who is already sitting at the table makes her squeal laugh. Her eyes closing with how much she’s smiling, and when he pulls her from your arms, she buries into his warmth. “She’s been a bit needy for attention lately, but tell daddy, it’s okay, huh?”

Leaning over, you grin, rubbing your nose on her, but Lloyd is encapsulated by the scent of your hair. Rolling his eyes in the back of his head at how sweet and sinful this moment all is. It’s almost normal. Almost the family that neither of you had. “Now, you behave,” you whisper.

As you stand up straight, you catch Lloyd wafting your scent with his softly closed, and it makes you smile to yourself. “I’ll be back, sweetheart.”

“Okay,” he didn’t even realize what you had said. Him being silly with a crush makes you happy.

“I was talking to the baby,” you remind him. A brief moment flashes between the two of you, and you want to stay. Want to will his hand to reach out and grab your own. You see the flinches of his fingers like he wants to, and then you snap out of it. This shouldn’t happen. He is your employer and things will get difficult, and you didn’t want them to. Lyla needs you.

Going into the kitchen, you plate up his dinner while you think. What the fuck are you doing? This is getting too intense, but the feeling of being so close to both of them made you warm and tingly in a different way than being alone with him. Plus you had to deal with your asshole of a boyfriend.

You knew Chase was no good, but what other choice did you have? Even though you didn’t see him daily, being with him made you stay away from Lloyd, and just fantasize about him. How much damn porn have you watched about the babysitter and the dad. Fuck, how many dreams did you have of Lloyd telling you that you would take his cock.

Why did you have to make this difficult? Why could you just forget about Lloyd and his fucking arms? And the need to see what he looked like with no shirt on. You bet he sleeps in boxers. Maybe completely nude. Shaking your head you back into the dining area and freeze. Why is him being with his little tiny daughter hotter?

Holding up one of her hands he slowly counts each of her fingers, moving onto the next one until getting to ten. Lloyd then reaches for a foot, pulling the socks off and she screams in laughter, “Oh, honey, are your toes ticklish?”

“You should see her when you have to clean in between them.”

“I bet you kick and giggle the whole time, huh? Do you not want to sit in your chair?”

“No, her doesn’t,” picking up her spoon, you give her a little bite of her food. Making sure that you remain close enough for Lloyd to smell you again. You did smell nice today. “Her gets all stressed out when you mess with her toes, huh, sweet girl.”

The touch is so quick, but you feel his hand on your thigh. You don’t even react, but he flinches away the second his finger touches your leg. You wish he’d keep going higher. Higher. Higher. Until he breaches your drenched hole. That’s how he made you. Soaked.

“You didn’t work late today,” you note, walking back to your chair. You take another bite while you smile at him. “How is it going?”

His Adam’s apple bobs, swallowing nothing while he nods his head, “It’s fine. Perfect. You haven’t requested any days off?”

“There’s really nowhere for me to go. I’ll go eat at the bar, and you and Lyla can bond before bedtime,” sitting at dinner with him and Lyla seems a bit too familial, and it suffocates you. You like it too much, and you need to step away.

“No,” Lloyd answers firmly. This time his swallow was of food. “No, I think you need some company. You’re around a baby that can’t talk all day. Unless you’re needing to make a phone call of course,” he had read being a stay at home mom was difficult, and to always engage in conversation when you came home. That way she didn’t get overwhelmed and feel isolated.

“I don’t,” and you didn’t want to leave him anyways. You just felt he wanted you away for whatever reason. The two of you settle in a comforting silence. Like Lloyd needed time to ground himself after whatever he did at work today. That the conversation flowing between the two of you was just as much for him as you. He seems to be seeking something more comfortable and sweet.

Stolen glances happen throughout the meal, but you’ll blame it on wanting to watch him be sweet with his daughter. While that is a bonus, the reality is you just want to look at him. Trying to keep it PG and not envision him hovering over your body with sweat glistening around his hair. Smiling as you go into a beautiful state of euphoria, and he tells you that you have to give him just one more time as tears drift down your face.

Fuck. You’re as big of a mess as your panties, and all you want is to curl into him, and let him take you down from a high of the most beautiful highs. God, you want to feel his arms wrap around you so bad. Looks like another night with your toys.

You aren’t sure why, but there is definitely a shift in the air tonight between you and Lloyd. And you sure are a glutton for punishment as you walk down to his room, but you want to just talk. You and him. There is one hundred percent no ulterior motive as you take each calculated step down the hall in your kinda sexy sleeper set. Maybe your ass is hanging out of the booty shorts, but who cares.

Tiptoeing down to his room, you lift your hand to knock, and then you hear a sound that almost knocks you to your knees. Your name. But not just your name, panting. Deep breaths. He is talking to an imaginary version of yourself. Not just talking, he was fucking the imaginary you, and you are right here!

He’s a vocal lover, and it causes you to drip. Weak from the way he was imagining fucking you. You knew there was a shift, but you couldn’t fathom Lloyd whimpering your name. Not Dolly, but your name. You couldn’t have prepared yourself to hear his grunts, and his coaching you through orgasms. You want to really orgasm. You don’t want that fake you to have all the fun. You’re throbbing all over, and ready to just break down the door, and jump on his cock.

This isn’t fair! It’s cruel torture. You find yourself nearly humping the air, and ready to beg for Lloyd to fuck you like that. Why can’t you have him? Oh, that’s right, a dumbass boyfriend. Breakup. No. Breaking up entails too many temptations now that you have heard — you stop walking, listening so intently as he squeaks out your name.

“Oh fuuuuck,” he sounds delicious as he comes undone. You want him to come in you. No. On you. No. What did you want? Him. His dick. His baby. More of his babies. Fuck. You’re fucked. This was fucked up. You haven’t kissed him and you want his babies? This was only a weird kink because you see how he fathers, and your mind and your desire to have a family is altering your usual steady mind.

Now you need to angrily get off. Fuck him. If he wants to fuck an imaginary you, you’ll fuck an imaginary him. It is only fair. You stomp back to your room. Yanking off your stupid sleep set. You’re quaking. Slamming a pillow down on the bed, you straddle it. It isn’t your finest hour, but you grind over the satin. Tweaking your nipples, and imagine his hands on your hips, guiding you to go faster, and you do. You just need to get off. You don’t want sweet, you want angry.

Fucking the frustration and confusion right onto the pillow so hard you actually feel him. His hands coast down your sides, and tighten on your hips. His mouth caresses the sensitive column of your neck, giving it a tiny little nibble, “I knew you’d be frustrated. Show me how angry you are.”

With your chest heaving as you bare down harder. You want to make Lloyd proud at how good you can ride his dick. “There’s a good girl. Let it all out,” his hands come around you as he fondles your chest. God he feels good.

“Lloyd, I’m coming.”

“Lloyd?” The grip on your tits turn harsh, and you stop moving, looking over your shoulder. Fuck. “You want to tell me why my whore of a girlfriend is fucking the boss? I knew it, you goddamn slut. He’s just using you to fulfill the babysitter fantasy.”

“W-w-why are you in here?” You can’t think properly as Chase’s cold blue eyes stare into you with so much anger. Hatred. You’ve never seen him look at you like this, but you have felt his wrath. You grab onto his hands, trying to pry them off your chest with no luck.

“I was going to make sweet love to my girlfriend, and I saw you naked and fucking a damn pillow, and wanted to have fun. This whole fucking time you were pretending it was Lloyd?” You shake your head aggressively trying to push his hands off you. He is too loud. “You want something to fuck, I’ll give you something.”

“No, Chase, don’t. He’ll hear. Stop, please, don’t,” your voice whispers through your tears as he pushes you forward. All the way down until your face is squished up against the blanket. Running his fingers through your folds. “Chase, don’t he’ll kill you. Please, stop.”

“This is how wet you get? You’re a fucking slut for the boss, huh?” You feel his blunt head at your entrance, and you clench your eyes closed. You could scream, and Lloyd will hear you, but so could Lyla. Chase would surely be killed. Or you can just sit like this, and take it until he is finished.

“Now, be a slut for me. It’s all I ask,” you gulp as he pushes through your walls. Fist clinging to the bed. “There’s a good girl. Since you’re dreaming about him, call me daddy.”

“No,” sick fuck. You didn’t want him on you. You didn’t want him touching you. You didn’t want to give that name to him. You aren’t even sure how you feel about that naturally coming out with Lloyd.

“Go on, you slut, call me your daddy. Tell daddy to fuck you like the bad girl you are. Let me ruin this little cunt.”

“No!” You didn’t care. He just drives harder into you. “No! Get off!” You hate him. It’s over. You didn’t care what Lloyd did to him or his body. He is the asshole. “Stop!” You can’t even pretend that he’s Lloyd. It’s all wrong. So very wrong. Lloyd would be hard, but tender. Demanding, but giving. This is just wrong. Shutting down everything that is happening in the present. Get out of reality, and go into your fake world where everything is perfect. Don’t let Chase have this.

And then he’s all pulled out of you. “She said stop, you fucking piece of shit!” Your mind shifts into an altered state as you try to take yourself out of this situation. Memories of someone else in your house. Your mom, screaming. The sound of fists hitting bone, and the sickening sound of blood. Your dad, screaming to get back in your room.

So many memories of your dad you blacked out, and that’s where you wanted them. Buried deep in the depths of your brain, and to never be seen or thought of again. They are cruel men with a deadly job. They protect their own, but invite evil into their homes. Close your eyes, and pretend that nothing is happening. Because nothing is happening.

Sing so you can ignore whatever is happening behind you. Remember your day with Lyla and how pure it was. How she smiled up at you like you had hung the moon. Lyla couldn’t remember the neglect her mom issued her, and you would make sure she didn’t know what being without a mother’s love was like. Lyla is what keeps you sane while hell is trying to suck you back to reality.

“Hey, sweetheart. Shh,” he covers your back with a blanket, but you keep your eyes closed. “Can I carry you out of here?” You nod your head quickly, and feel his thick arms pick you up bridal style. Keeping your body close to his warmth as he carries you out of your room, and you finally open your eyes.

You see the marred knuckles clinging to your body, and deadpan, “You need to wash your hands.”

“I need to make sure you’re not hurt. Did he hurt you?” Even though he’s trying to be soft, you see the edge of darkness cover his eyes. You don’t know if he killed Chase or he was badly misshapen. You didn’t care. You couldn’t care anymore.

“No, he didn’t.”

“What happened?” There are two options here; lie through your teeth and tell him a bent story or tell him the absolute truth.

“He saw me, and I was…I was — and I said your name, while he was behind me, and I didn’t know. And then…then…th-th-then he wanted me to call him — to call him daddy,” you hiccup as he carries you into the living room, and sits you on the couch softly.

You sniffle, trying to calm your sobs as you look at his hands again. They are hideous. They’ll be badly bruised and swollen come tomorrow, “Your hands. Go wash them.”

“No.”

“I don’t…I don’t like the look of blood,” he gives you a nod, and stands up to wash his hands. He wears boxers in his sleep. You wish you were in a place you could enjoy the sight of him in just boxers, but you’re just numb. So numb that even Lloyd almost naked does nothing for you.

“Ari, I need a clean up, and a new apartment,” what an odd thing to say. “I don’t want it in this building at all. Don’t ask questions. This is immediate,” walking back into the living room, he stares at you. You’re in a state of shock, and your eyes are glassed over into nothing.

“Can I get you some clothes?” What? You look down your body, and pull your blanket tighter around you, then nod your head, and he’s gone again. It all went wrong because you wanted to hear the night life. How could you be so stupid to think you could just live your life carelessly, and Chase wasn’t going to ruin it.

Returning, Lloyd sits on the table in front of you, and starts to dress you. There’s nothing demanding or harsh about his movements. It’s caring. Loving. Nurturing. Instead of trying to black everything out, you watch him. You’re completely nude in front of him but he’s not fucking you with his eyes. He’s making sure you’re alright. Tenderly pulling over your top, and then sliding up some shorts on your legs.

“I’m sorry,” your voice is so meek, and you hate it.

“You have nothing to apologize for.”

“This isn’t your job.”

“The hell it isn’t. This isn’t your job. My job is to protect you, and I failed. How long had he been here?” You shrug, because you aren’t sure when the lines of your imagination and reality blurred. Didn’t know when Lloyd’s hands morphed into Chase’s. “I’m going to get us another apartment. You’re also going to have a security detail, and this isn’t for discussion.”

You just nod your head, not in the mood for arguing. You’re just cold. And then a cry. “Lyla,” you jump up without hesitation, practically sprinting to her room, and she sits up in the bed, crying and pouting for you. “Hey, baby. Did you miss me or do you need a diaper change? You’ve been sleeping through the night almost every night. C’mere.”

She isn’t wet, so you just hold her tight to your chest, and her cries start to soften. “You need someone to hold you, too, huh? Shh, I’m right here, baby,” you rock her in your arms, and turn to see Lloyd standing in the doorway.

He’s like a dream, nearly naked and shadowed in her doorway. It hurts to look at him sometimes. Always being something you shouldn’t desire. “She just wanted to be held.”

“You said, too,” he’s being odd this evening. You don’t understand what he means until he walks right up to you, lifting you up again. Carrying you and Lyla over to her rocker, he sits down, wrapping his arms around you tighter. “If you want to be held just ask.”

“Okay,” he holds you like you’ve never been held before. How can something feel so secure and soft at the same time? He is adding just the right amount of pressure on your body, and you start to relax in his arms, and Lyla is right with you. Yawning so big as her eyes get heavier. “Am I stupid?”

“No.”

“Do you know what I was doing when he came into my room?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“I was — you know on a pillow, and I said your name, and it pissed him off,” you don’t have to see Lloyd’s face to know he’s smiling. Of course he would smile when it came to you ultimately choosing Lloyd over Chase, “I heard you tonight,” he hums, but still doesn’t say anything. “In your fantasy how was I positioned?”

“On your back. Your legs wrapped tight against me, a pillow under your lower back to get this amazing angle, and you're pulling me so deep into your warmth, and I can’t get enough of watching you come over my cock,” it’s your turn to hum as you look down at the baby. She is so cozy, but asleep, and giving you nothing but her sweet face to distract you. This is far from an appropriate conversation with her present.

“How deep are you?”

Lloyd takes a deep breath. Kissing on top of your head, “Sweetheart, I’m so deep that you can fill me in your throat.”

“How do I know you’re not lying?” Silence falls over the room, and it becomes too apparent what is going on in your room. You heard Lloyd call someone, and they are doing what he asked, cleaning up whatever mess was made. You lift up off his shoulder, and stare at him. “How do I know you’re not lying?”

“I don’t think this is the right time now.”

“Are you scared?”

“I’m terrified,” you gulp, averting your eyes back down to the baby. How could a man like Lloyd be terrified? And why? “And she’s only part of the reason I’m scared.”

“So where do we go from here?”

“I said I didn’t think this is the right time for me to show you I’m not lying, considering the things that have transpired this evening. But whenever you’re ready for me to show you exactly how deep I can go inside your body, but also — inside your heart, I’ll only be a few doors away. But I don’t want to just fuck you like an animal. I want to hold you and…my daughter at night, just like this. You need to be held just as much as she does, so let me. But for tonight, instead of showing you just how right you would fit me inside you, let me tear down the walls you’ve built up, and show you there are good men out there. Men that stand on the things that they say. Let me just hold you, so you can finally relax for the first time in years because you don’t have to worry about that prick ever coming into your life and hurting you ever again.”

Your vision becomes blurry as tears fill your eyes, and you let them fall down your cheeks one by one. It’s freeing to know that Chase can’t ever try and pick apart your brain and memories that you have no desire to explore. Lloyd isn’t just taking your walls down, he’s obliterating them. You didn’t even realize the amount of walls you put up for your own self preservation. “I hate them.”

“Me, too. I hate anyone that has ever hurt you or made you feel you aren’t worth it. Because you are.”

“You don’t know me.”

”I know more about you than you could ever understand,” the cameras. All those times you felt like you were being watched. It all makes sense. “Yes, there’s some in your room. And yes, you knew and pointed yourself right at them.”

“Did not.”

“Want to see the footage?” You snort, shaking your head no. At least you didn’t have to end the night on something as severe as whatever Lloyd did to Chase. “Little minx. I’ve got videos, too. Yeah, I thought maybe it was a coincidence, until you flashed the camera and smiled. You’re smarter than people give you credit for.”

“I was just taking a guess,” Lloyd does not believe a word you say. “I did. It was just a guess. Why did you have cameras in my bedroom? Are they in my bathroom, too?”

“No, I don’t get off on that.”

“You just get off on me in my room?”

Lloyd rolls his eyes with a smile. Is that what you think this is? He’s trying to figure out how to say it without being too forward, and there isn’t another way, “Were you just in your room when you had your legs spread pointing to the camera, shoving your fingers in that tight little cunt, and whimpering my name? Were you just in your room when you’d prance out of the bathroom completely naked, and do a little shimmy right in the camera? Were you just in your room every time that you were fucking that pillow and saying Daddy fuck me harder.”

Oh my god. “Should I go on?”

“No! There is a baby in my arms.”

“Fine, admit you want me to fuck you, and you want to call me daddy,” you didn’t have to admit shit. You do like when his cocky little self comes out though. “Go on, say it.”

He wants you to say it? Then he’s getting the full on works, “I want you to fuck me so deep and hard, daddy. I want you to come in my pretty little pussy, and then I want you to fuck it deeper with your fingers,” Lloyd bites on his lip, and looks up at the ceiling. Good. He wants to try and torture you, he’s getting it right back. “But not tonight.”

“No, not tonight. You’ve been through enough,” you really have. And you just want to feel the warmth coming off his body. “I want you to pick out which room is Lyla’s in the new apartment. She…” it’s too soon. Lloyd can’t ask much more of you. You’re vulnerable at the moment, and he’s taken advantage enough, “She already looks at you like her mom,” fuck fuck fuck.

“Is it weird to say I look at her like mine, too?” He sighs, and shakes his head no. He hopes you really let this conversation sink in before you come crawling into his bed. Because he will fuck you, and he will only hold back if you ask him. If your body shows him, he’ll stop. He wants you more than anything he has ever wanted before and it terrifies him. Because now he has two things he’s willing to kill for, but worse, willing to die for.

Terrifying.

Next

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[ohsc]

a story where dean opens up about his childhood to cas would be amazing 💙💙

destiel, 1.5k, established relationship, hurt-comfort, angst, anxiety attack, mentions of abuse and childhood trauma not in complete detail

Cas didn’t need to sleep.

Before he and Dean started dating, Cas would spend his nights out in the library, on his own, and Dean always hated it. He hated knowing that Cas would be out there on his own, waiting for somebody to wake up to keep him company. It used to keep Dean up some nights, when he was hopelessly in love with the angel but too scared to do anything about it, and all he could picture was Cas sat on his own in the dark, waiting.

So when they did get together, Dean urged Cas to spend his nights with him. And at first, it had been a way to keep him company even when Dean was asleep. He’d fall asleep with Cas beside him, and wake up with him in the same position, tangled up in Dean’s limbs that had soothed him through the lonely night. Dean would kiss him Goodnight and kiss him good morning, and they’d get up and leave the bedroom together.

But sometimes, Cas being in bed with Dean was more for Dean’s benefit than the angel’s.

Dean could feel the warmth of him pressed up against his back through the thin material of his sleep shirt. Cas had his body draped along the length of Dean’s back, an arm hooked over his waist, a leg between his — practically every part of Cas was touching him, and it kept him grounded. He needed the contact to keep himself sane.

“Another one,” Castiel’s breath fanned over the back of his neck as his voice came out in a low rumble. “Breathe, Dean.”

It had happened more times than he’d like to admit, that Cas helped him breathe. Dean didn’t get panic attacks, he didn’t have anxiety or depression, he was fine. But… there had been occasions where he thought too hard and it felt like he’d been winded, or his vision blurred and his chest ached. And before Cas, he’d forced himself through it. He clenched his jaw and sat stiffened until it passed, or at least until it got marginally better, and he carried on with whatever he was doing. If Sam asked, he got told the same thing every time, that he was fine.

But Dean couldn’t lie to Cas. The first time it had happened in front of the angel he’d tried to shrug him off, but Cas had seen right through him, and just forced him to sit down and eased him through it.

Cas has been easing him through it for almost six hours by that point.

The case that he and Cas had worked had left Dean with a nauseous swirl in his gut instead of the usual relief. He’d grit his teeth through the drive home and only hadn’t crashed because of his partner’s hand on his leg. He got food and didn’t choke because of the warmth of the angel sat by his side. When they got back to the bunker the only reason Dean hadn’t sat and drank an entire bottle of whiskey was because Cas had led him to their bedroom before he had the chance to pour a third glass.

When he’d been doing things, it was easier to try and ignore the feeling. But when he just laid there with nothing to do but stare at the wall, he thought. And when he thought about the case too much, it physically took his breath away.

“That’s better,” Cas had one hand against Dean’s chest and rubbed his sternum with the heel of his palm, and his other arm was underneath the pillow Dean laid on. “Another one.”

Dean forced the breaths until the ache in his chest subsided and his vision stopped swimming. When the wall finally stopped looking blurry, his shoulders slumped slightly, and he tipped his head back until he was flush against Cas. “Thanks.” His voice was a little rough and a little shaky.

“Are you alright, Dean?” Cas sounded so concerned that it made Dean’s heart ache. To be fair, he didn’t even know what was wrong, why the case had fucked him up so much. Dean hadn’t been able to tell him at the time without compromising the case by sending himself into a spiral.

“Peachy,” Dean continued to stare at the wall. “M’fine, Cas.”

Though he was breathing fine, the palm that rubbed against his chest hadn’t stopped. It was nice, it kept him at least somewhat relaxed.

“Would you like to tell me what happened?” There was a pause behind him, before, “If you want to. You don’t have to.”

Dean hesitated, swallowed the bile that threatened to rise in his throat.

The case they’d worked was at the house of a mother and her young son who kept getting unexplainable bruises, and it turned out that they were being haunted by the ghost of the boy’s deceased father. They spoke to the mother and found out all about her dead husband — the ex-military, violent, angry man — and they’d spoken to the son, and it just hit a bit too close to home. It made Dean think too much about it.

He’d never told Cas much about his dad. He knew the basics, knew that there had been some issues, but Dean had never gone into too much detail. That shit was in the past, he had forced himself to forgive and forget his father’s actions. He supposed it was why when he was forced to remember it all, it threw him through the fucking loop. Because he’d forced himself to pack it all away years ago.

“Dean,” Cas prompted softly when he hadn’t replied, and rubbed the heel of his palm over his sternum again. “With me?”

Dean cleared his throat and nodded, and forced himself to focus on the angel’s touch, the warmth of his body, the breath on his neck. “Yeah, um…” he took in a shuddering breath and exhaled before he spoke again. “The case just got me thinkin’.”

There was silence behind him. Cas just pressed his palm to his chest again, as if to say go on.

“That… fuck, that kid,” Dean hated the way his voice wavered, he wanted to choke down the feeling and shove it back into the box that he’d kept locked up for years, that he hadn’t touched in god knows how long. “He didn’t deserve that.”

“No, he didn’t,” Castiel agreed solemnly. “He was just a boy.”

Dean’s throat constricted. “It wasn’t fair, it was his dad, he was supposed to… to keep him safe, not to… to take his anger out on him.”

Cas was silent for a moment, continued the ministrations against Dean’s chest. “There’s no complacency in a man that angry,” there was silence, before, “That… boy, he didn’t deserve it. Any of it.”

Dean’s eyes stung and he squeezed them shut. He knew that they weren’t talking about the boy. “He’s been dead for years.”

“So?” Castiel also knew that they weren’t talking about the boy. “He was also alive for years. Time makes no difference to the extent of the damage that was done.”

It was the gentleness of Cas’ tone that broke the barrier, and Dean felt as the first tears slipped past his eyelashes, over the curve of his nose. He took a few moments of silence, breathed through his mouth and focused on the pressure on his chest, before he spoke again.

“It scares me, sometimes. The… the anger he left me with. I don’t… I don’t want to hurt Sam, or… or you.”

Again, Castiel didn’t reply straight away. His hand lifted from Dean’s chest and pressed to his shoulder, pulled him until he laid flat on his back, looking up at the angel. His expression was so loving that Dean’s throat clenched again.

“Dean,” there was a certain sincerity to Castiel’s voice, a hard seriousness that he felt in his bones. “You are nothing like your father.”

It felt like getting winded. Dean had to remember to breathe back in as he absorbed the statement, eyes flickered around the angel’s face for any crack in the sincerity. He couldn’t find one. The tears fell a little faster.

A warm hand cupped Dean’s cheek before Cas’ head dipped down, and their mouths met with a tenderness that sucked most of the aches out of Dean’s bones. It was soft and warm and felt like safety.

“You’re not,” Cas promised again as soon as the kiss had broken, like he couldn’t bare the thought of Dean doubting him. “You are good, Dean. You are who you are in spite of him, not because of him.”

The lump in his throat just grew larger. Dean tried to swallow around it but couldn’t, so he blinked away the tears and nodded, and just leaned up to kiss Cas again.

He hoped that in every press of his lips, stroke of his tongue, in every breath that they shared, that he could convey the I love you that he wasn’t able to say in that moment.