#at least theres my best friend physical pain. at least i always have her forever and ever and ever

[wetchickenbreast]

really dont fucking want to go to work any more but i cant quit cuz i havent heard back from the library and i cant kill myself cuz my sister would be sad. sadness and suicidal ideation in amalia purgatory forever

[corpsehusband-simp]

Weight of the World

WARNING: This is a sensitive Fic that deals with depression, mentions of dark thoughts, punching a wall, and anxiety. It has a fluffy ending. 

A/N: Please put yourself first and don't read this fic if it will put you in any kind of dark place because of what is metions and please know that my DM’s are always open. Feel free to message me all hours of the day or night, I am always here to talk.

 Request: this is a touchy request so i understand if you are uncomfortable with writing it. it’s kinda a comfort/coping prompt but can you write corpse x reader where reader has been going through manic depression and just pushes everyone away and performs self destructive behavior, and corpse has to talk y/n out of su*icide? recently i’ve just.. been really going through it is all i can say. if you don’t wanna write it, totally understandable ❤️

Paring: Corpsex reader, Sykkuno x reader (best friends)

You rolled over in your bed as your phone rang, hiding yourself further into your covers. You woken up yesterday morning and your depression had hit you full force. You couldnt really put a finger on wheat caused your manic depressive episode but it was kicking your ass. It had been a while since you felt like this and you couldnt find the strength at the moment to pull yourself out of it and in doing so you were pushing away the person you loved the most. Corpse. The love of your life but you couldnt even answer his phone calls or texts. Instead you physically turned away from his caller ID, the last time you had talked to him was through a text yesterday telling him that you needed space and that was all.

The more you thought about it the angrier it made you, the angrier you became with yourself. As your mind slipped into darker, angrier thoughts your phone rang again but think time it was your best friend Sykkunos ring tone, Big booty bitches. 

Corpse must have called him. You thoguht before reluctantly picking up the phone, wiping tears from your face. “What Sykkuno”

“Oh uh h-hi y/n. I just wanted to uh call you and check up on you, you didnt come to the Among Us lobby yesterday.” You sighed.

“Im fine Sy.” Your tone was short and rough, you hated acting this way but you didnt want to pull anyone else down intot the slump that you were in.

“O-okay, well im here okay. Love you y/n/n”

“Yeah love you too sy. Never forget that.” and with that you hung up on him, tears running down your face again as your thoughts continued down a dark route.

CORPSE POV

Corpse was going out of his mind trying to figure out what was going on with you. After your text yesterday he had been battling his anxiety on wether or not he should oush the situation, corpse knew you depression could get back sometimes but he also understood sometimes people just needed space. So he turned to the only other person he could trust right now, Sykkuno.

“Hey buddy.”

“Oh hey corpse, whats goin on?” It made corpse smile to hear that at least sykkuno was still his normal cheerie self.

“I need a favor, I think y/n is having another episode butbut she wont answer my calls so I was wondering if you could try and call her for me. See if she answers.”

“Yeah of course man, but why dont you just go over there?” Corpse sighs.

“Im going to but I dont want to push ya know. Its- this is a touchy thing.” Sykkuno hums in agreement before hanging up. Corpse paces back and forth in his livingroom till Sykkuno calls back.

“Hey Corpse”

“Did she answer?” Sykkuno sighs.

“Yeah and she doesnt sound like shes doing very well.Im actually really really worried Corpse.” Before Sykkuno could even finish his sentence Corspe was grabbing his car keys and hoodie.

“Im heading over there now, Ill text you later with and update. Thank you for calling her.”

“Of course, just keep me updated.” Corpse faster than he ever had , it was a mirical he didnt get pulled over.

Please be okay, please be okay. He repeated in his mind over and over as he run up to your apartment door. He entered quietly and quickly, not even bothering to take his shoes off. You entire apartment was dark and eerily quiet but as he neared your bedroom he could hear your quiet cries coming from the bathroom. He knocks on the door and tires to open it but it was locked.

“Go away.” You cried with broke Corpses heart.

“Baby girl, please open the door.”

“NO please just go away!”

Your POV

You felt out of control as you cried so you puched and yelp in pain. Corpse wastes no time kicking in the door.

“Im sorry baby Ill fix that I promise.” He says quickly as he kneels down beside you. You didnt know if it was the suddenness of the door kicking in or him beig here or both but you broken down into even more of a crying mess on your bathroom floor. Corpse pulls you into his chest and you try to fight him off. 

“No leave me alone, go away!” He only held you tighter and closer.

“Y/N I’m not going anywhere. We made a promise to eachother remember? We promised to never leave eachother remember? Me and you together. Im promise to fight next to you. So please just breath and let me help baby please.” Eventually you stopped fighting against him and clung to him like your life depended on it, and in this moment you were positive it did. You didnt know how much time passed between that moment and when Corpse finally stood, holding you bridalstyle as he carried you to the room. You laid both you you down, never letting you leave his hold. As you laid there Corpse left sof kisses around your face and whispered sweet loving things to you.

“You are so strong Y/n” He ran his fingers through your hair and kissed your forehead. “You are beautiful and smart” Corpse kisses your temple. “You are worth every single breath you take, every single atom and molecule in this universe that you take up you are worthy of.” He gently lifts you chin so you were looking up at him with your red, puffy eyes. “A wise girl once told me, that I know it gets hard and feels like the weight of the world is one your shoulders but theres two of us now and you dont have to take the weight on alone.” You sniffle and look up at him.

“Hey I said that.” Your voice was weak and horse from crying.

“Yes baby girl, you did, and I hope you knoe its true. I am right here.”

“I dont want to burden you, I know you have some much on your plate already I dont want to throw my shit on there too.” He shakes his head and lays his forehead on yours. 

“You arent burdening me, the only thing that ever puts more stress on my plate is when you push me away because I cant help you when you do that.” You sniffle reaching up and brush your finger tips across his cheek. 

“Im so sorry I put you through this.” Tears started to well up in your eyes but Corpse qucikly wipes under them and peppers your forehead in kisses.

“Hey hey hey none of that baby. Alls well now. Im here now.”

“Thank you my love. You are my rock.’

“And you are mine”

✨Tumblr Taglist✨

@fuji175 @corbins-kinda-smart @locallolli @namjoons-crabssss @sadness-babee @reddeserths @eccedxntesi @mayempress  @shinyyoonie @amirahhiddleston @gamerjisoo @trying-to-be-nice-here @jinexedanxrchist @rensaor @yoongis-cumsock @devilishducky97 @mintchip17 @redperson58 @kutiesammyboo @caswinchester2000 @hufflepuff-always-and-forever @thoughtfullydopedragon @neville-longbottomsimp @danny-devitowo @chocolatecloudwinnerhoagie @notmewrongb1tch @moneybagmara @alxcru158 @whatinthyworld @ihavecommitmentissues @mayempress @tanya-sonigra @themeaningofstupid @heavenly3308 @nicetomeetyouamamber  @chileansoul-englishheart

[gdotsand]

The Fastest Way Back Home - Prologue

Pairing - Bucky Barnes x Reader (Post Infinity War) 

Summary - A collection of memories sprinkled along the road to regain what she lost. 

Word Count -1,400 (ish) 

Playlist Link - Link (will be updated as more chapters are added) 

Warnings - Sadness. Angst. Bad jokes regarding muffins. 

A/N -  I really wanted my first published Bucky series to be happy, I really did. I fought my brain so hard but this was the first work in progress it allowed me to finish for him. I’m sorry in advance? I honestly get physical chest pains from writing this story because it also makes me sad but I will promise you happy endings and it wont (hopefully) all make you wanna curl into a ball and listen to sad songs. Likes, reblogs and feedback is always appreciated. Also big shoutout to Lara (it wont let me tag you), thank you for encouraging me to post this finally and listen to my ramblings. You’re the real MVP. Thank you - G.Sand 

Present 

He'd always said that the water calmed him, the darkness lapping against the small dock. One of the main reasons he'd thrust a pros and cons list into her hand the night after viewing the house. Top of the list, the water.

There were many other things on the list, a tree that seemed like it had grown specifically for a treehouse to be constructed against the thick branches.

A living room big enough if they pushed back the furniture he would be able to twirl her around barefoot as the record player in the corner softly played old country vinyls her grandfather left her when he passed.

A wrap around porch, sure it needed some work, some of the slats have fallen though, but he promised to replace them, whitewash them and share lazy Sunday afternoons drinking fresh lemonade and watching the sun disappear beyond the horizon.

It felt like a life time ago, sometimes, most of the time it felt like a fever dream. Calloused fingers against her jaw line, the slipping of a golden band onto her finger, her doing the same for him. Bright smiles and her mother softly wiping the tears from her cheeks. Promises of forever and always, promises of a future beyond the hurt and loss that lingered deep within his bones.

Promises of all perfect and beautiful things that would now never come true. Promises of a life away from bloodshed and fear. Away from anger and torment. Everything turned to dust that day, breathy whispers at some ungodly hour, promises, commands, vows, everything including the man she loved turned to dust, and she had no idea.

Sometimes she could pretend, pretend he was on a regular mission, or he'd gone out to a meeting or to the store. Because he was ever present in her home, their home.  The photos that adorn the walls, his jacket is still on the hook by the door, weapons safe still locked. It can only be opened by a retinal scan that now didn't exist in the world. Tony he said he can override it, find a way to disable his own systems but she declined. What was the point anymore? What was the point in anything anymore?

So she looks out at the water. Watches as the sun starts to set, another day has been added to the tally marks somewhere etched into the walls of her brain. Filed away, so she wouldn't be able to recall an exact number if asked, but still enough to keep a permanent hole in her chest since that day. Its been almost five years, and Betsy is bordering on her birthday, and she wants, she prays that she can believe that Betsy is a happy child but it always feels like something is missing. Its in the depths of her eyes, in the dark curls that sit on top of her head a question that will forever go unanswered, at least not completely. Because no sweetheart your daddy isn't coming home and no bugs he was never home to begin with. Not really, not with both of his girls. So she take things day by day and who can blame her? Honestly what else do people expect. Not that theres many people left to judge her that is. So to hell with it.

If he was here, he'd tell her to buck up. She knows that, but even Tony dare not make that joke. He'd tell her that everything happens for a reason and that everything will work out in the end. But thats Bucky all over, and Bucky isn't here.

The light shifts into something reminiscent of artwork purple and oranges splayed across the horizon, and a smooth pebble is thrown into the icy darkness, it skips across the water at speed and disturbs the darkness, but eventually like everything else the ripples dissipate into nothingness again.

"See kiddo, it's all in the wrist" Tony says, and Betsy listens, she idolises her uncle Tony more than he can know however it's not lost on anyone else. Eager to please Betsy takes the second stone from his outstretched palm, skims it across the surface of the water and it bounces once, twice, three times before eventually sinks, and Betsy squeals as she hoisted into the air in celebration. Y/n could listen to the sound of her laugh till her dying day and never get bored of hearing that little girl enjoy the freedom of happiness, but y/n? She allows herself a smile and turns back to the water, because you know, it always said it calmed him.

Steve approaches slowly behind, careful not to make her jump in the process, spends a good minute or two just watching her. She's never been the same since the snap, okay, no one has been the same since the snap but out of everyone, he thinks that maybe y/n had it the worst. And sure he may be being an overdramatic asshole as Buck might have said once upon a time but Buck's not here to reprimand him. Even if he can hear his taunt somewhere far away, carried on the winds that come from wherever he is.

"He was right you know"

Steve hums at her as a response, an explanation waiting on the other-side of her tongue that for some reason needs to know that Steve is listening before y/n continues.

"It's pretty fucking calming when you think about it"

He hums again, but it's more of an amused tone.

"I came to talk to you specifically before we do this" he says, always a man to get right to the point is Steve Rogers, there is no proverbial bush and he'll be damned if he beats around it.

"Well I assumed you didn't come here just for my muffins Steve"

"You're a married woman can we not talk about your muffins"

"Ah, no one is talking about my muffins these days" and then earns her a chuckle at least. She's always had a way with words like that, always been the one to crack the jokes. First to make light of a situation that really doesn't need it.

"We can get him back, well" he swallows but continues "we can get all of them back, but we're going to bring him back y/n"  

Y/N rolls her eyes and takes a couple of steps off the dock towards the house, "Don't make promises that you can't cash Rogers i'm not in the mood" she throws over her shoulder. It only takes half as many steps for Steve to catch up and stop her with a hand on her shoulder. There are already tears in her eyes, and it's a knee jerk reaction. Because she remembers the day that Steve had made that promise to her before, years ago.

5 Years Ago 

The house was too quiet, the kind of quiet that strikes fear like a match in the pit of your stomach. The hollow feeling that just something, somewhere isn’t right. There are no books to read, no work to be done, no shows to watch and no mindless task that she can do that will keep her brain from thinking the inevitable. It’s always the case yet it never gets any easier.

Washing done, book shelves back into the correct organisation system. Dinner being planned in her subconscious because she has to keep that hope, that preyer that there will be dinner. There will be another set of feet under the table, a light too minimal conversation to be had and a head on the pillow next to hers at the end of the day.

But then there’s gravel crunching under tires, there’s one, two, three car doors being slammed and three pairs of out of sync footsteps growing closer to the front door. Three sets of footsteps isn’t good. She knows this. She knows as she crosses to the front door, pulls it open and meets the eyes of his best friend. Although she had known that at some point, this day might come, it makes the horror no less scary. It doesn’t make the gravel any less sharp on her knees as her breaths come quicker and Steve arms aren’t quick enough to react. To catch her before she falls.

She can see it reflected in the gaze of Nat that he’s not coming home, that something terrible, something unimaginable has happened.

Steve swallows around the lump in his throat that he prayed wouldn’t be there by the time he got out of the car.

“We’ll get him back Y\N. We’re going to bring him back”

[burnedbyshoto]

if you sent any asks (recommendations for things don’t count as I have to look around!) since october 17 until october 22 it is in here :)

anon said: The header for your askbox response post is *aesthetic*. I think it’s a really good idea to post one every few days if you have the time. ❤️

well, thANK YOUUUUU!!!!! I put in a whopping 10 minutes into it because I had no idea what I was doing! i’ll definitely be doing asks this way now though.

big dick kiri anon said: !!!!!! ILY HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY PLS HYDRATE 💙💙❤️❤️ -bigdickkiri

Omg love! Please don’t worry about kinktober just breathe! Take your time and try to relax 💙❤️- bigdickkiri

DAMN, that is a LOT. Please look after yourself and don't stress about it love!! - bigdickkiri

I'm very excited. BUT PLEASE LOOK AFTER YOURSELF, DO NOT FORCE ANY OF THIS OMG - bigdickkiri

AHH, AMAZING, TALENTED SWEETHEART, GORGEOUS LOVE, HAVE A INCREDIBLE DAY AND HYDRATE - bigdickkiri

I believe I did have a good day, and I am actually super bad at hydrating, buT ILL TRY TO GET BETTER!!!!

I am breathing!!!! JUSTTT BREATHEEEE!!! I am taking my time now and relaxing to the best of my ability :D thank you so much bdk I love you with all my soul

theres always a lot, but if im not doing a lot I dont do anything so on one hand.... it’s okay LMAO but I will continue to try and not stress :D

BDK I WOULD NEVER WANT TO MAKE YOU THINK IM FORCING THIS OUT OF MEEEE ILL TRY MY BEST TO MAKE YOU PROUD

GHSOGHJIAORGJRGIRAHG YOURE AMAZING, BEAUTIFUL, TERRIFIC, INCREDIBLE!!!!!!! YOU HYDRATE AND MAKE SURE YOU KNOW THAT I LOVE YOU

@bread-theduck​ said: We love you and support you ❤ dont push yourself, your mental health is so much more important that kinktober haha. Take all the time you need, we're right here and open if you wanna talk~

I don’t really try to push myself... it just happens subconsciously D: but thank you for the love and support!!!! my mental health is stronger than I give it credit though

anon said: listen! we all appreciate you and your writing dearly but! I think we can all agree that we want you to be okay mentally and physically before you make yourself write! kinktober can wait! you’re more important!! at the very least, pls take a break for tonight.

I honestly can’t even remember when i said I was tired, but thank you for your kind words regardless!!!! I am trying to get better at it because i don’t want to disappoint you guys D:

@saintbullet​ said: Please take care of yourself!!! DONT risk your health for writing. We care about you so much! Be careful 💕💕💕

I know I push myself a lot, and i’m really sorry for scaring you all!!!! I am trying though, and it just has a lot to do with my mental fatigue and that im judging some hard classes right now then it has to do with anything

anon said: hey it'll be alright! idk whats wrong but i promise everything will work out like its supposed to! you just take care of yourself and take as much time as you need to feel better!! we love u!! ♥️

It wAS MY PERIOD I REMEMBER NOW AHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! I LOVE YOU TOOOOOOOO WITH ALL THE LOVE MY HEART POSSES!!!!!!

anon said: periods can be a pain so pls take care of yourself!! drink lots of water and rest up!!!

my period is the worst, if she was a person i’d block her and avoid her irl!!!!!!!!

anon said: Lol ok so gay for Mina anon back and no, I was not the anon who requested it. But lmao, let me take this time to whole heartedly thank that anon for quenching my thirst anyways

oh whoops, sorry for thinking you were someone else D: iM GLAD TO SEE THAT YOU WERE HAPPY WITH IT!!! READER WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A BAD GUY BUT I COULDN’T FIGURE OUT HOW TO MAKE IT WORK LMAO

anon said: I am just planning on hanging out and reading all the lovely writing that comes from this

i’m pretty sure this is about my nsfw/sfw headcanons, and honestly im sooo very excited to start working on them!!!!!!!!

anon said: you have no idea how happy I got when I saw u posted for mina like UGH MY WIFE I LOVE HER SO MUCH 🥺🥺🥺 N GIVING US GAYS AMAZING CONTENT UR AMAZING MWAH MWAH KEEP BEING THE PERFECT ANGEL U ARE 🥺🥺💞💗💖💕💓💝

AHHHHH IM SO GLAD YOU LIKED IT MINA IS LIKE MY FAV CLASS 1-A GIRL SO I LOVE HER SO MUCHHHHHHHHHHH YOURE AMAZING AND I LOVE YOU AND YOURE AN ANGEL!!!!!!!

many a anons said: Sorry I didn’t see the part where you said not to request characters that were already on the list I thought that was the list of character we could vote for.

so sorry I accidentally sent a character in that has already been requested, Tumblr didn't show me the follow up posts ;;

nooo I didn’t see the list I’m so sorry 😭😭😭

LOL ITS OKAYYYY. y’all were hoes and kept sending me shouto who I couldn’t even think about deleting from my list... so... you are lucky >:(

anon said: hello! not a request here but take care of yourself anc stay hydrated bb 🥰🥰

I got my water right next to me rn bby :D

anon said: be todoroki’s girlfriend

bitch I am todorokis WIFE, why would I need to dress up???

@girl-with-a-mentality​ said: You can be todoroni for Halloween.

....you right...

anon said: Thirst post infoo ;3 I found a doujinshi of Bakugo being teased and toyed with sexually with by Ochako, Yaomomo, and our lovely momma Mina

...send it

anon said: GIRLLLLLL

ANONNNNNNNNNNNNN ;)

local dumbass anon said: local dumbass is here once again, i thiink you know who i am and might've found my ig buuuuuut..?

uh.... I don’t know???????? I only followed people on insta if you gave me your handle or followed me first.... also did you cut your bangs?

anon said: Your Monoma scenario was really good!If we’re being honest, though, Monoma would literally start foaming at the mouth if he saw anyone from 1-A making physical contact with his s/o, ESPECIALLY Bakugou. They would have to call animal control because there would be a rabid Monoma in the dorms lol

okay... while you’re not wrong, I just thought 18 year old monoma should have grown up just the tiniest bit! plus his obsession is controlled because of his insecurity so LMAO IDK I JUST THOUGHT MAYBE UGH

@awkward-theaterkid​ said: I was reading your Day 19 Fic but I couldnt take it seriously, the title "My Way" kept reminding me of the Backstreet Boys "I want it that way" and it keeps popping up while I read it 😂

as someone who only heard that song because of b99 I read this and immediately thought of b99 LMAOOOOO

🍒💥anon said: URGENT PSA: LYSSA IS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING AND I LOVE HER -🍒💥

Hello Queen Lyssa, I finally read "And They Were Roommates" and have absolutely no idea why I put it off so long! ITS A MASTERPIECE. Each chapter is addictive and the slow burn and angst destroyed me 😭 The smut in the final chapter is flawless and sooooooooooooooooooo H O T. Shoto wasnt even my favorite character but he might have to be now (or at least in my top 3) 😰 This is my new favorite series and I cant wait to re-read it!!!! YOURE AMAZING AND ILY. You own my soul now -🍒💥

URGENT PSA I LOVE YOU CHERRY EXPLOSION AND YOURE AMAZING :D

ATWR holds a special place in my heart uwu.... HAOGHIOSRGSIOGJSIHG THANK YOU!!!!! SHOUTO IS AN AMAZING CHARACTER WHO I LOVE WITH ALL MY HEARRTTTTTT

~ thank you to @didyoumeanme​, @kittenlordofdarkness​, @soafers​ for submitting memes and animal pics for my rommate, much appreciated :D ~

anon said: Did the local dumbass anon ever cut their bangs? Do you know?

....I dont know, but I just asked her rn >:)

this paragraph is dedicated to those surrounding to the meltdown mess that occurred yesterday. to each and every one of you who sent me kind words via my askbox or directly contacting me, thank you. I really want to move past this because I feel by holding on it will make me feel less inclined to write because of my guilt. of course, I do not expect you to forgive me, or trust me in my story of how it went down, because at the end of the day it was my mistake for trusting in someone to write with pure intentions when I didn’t know if she could. im trying to continue on with my best foot forward and im grateful for those of you who trusted in me. I swear I will never push myself again, and that I will instead take my time in order to publish my original work and only my original work and not take anything that comes from a “friend”. know that I love you all, and I dont know how to take it easy so my break lasted a whooping 10 hours, and my blog won’t discontinue until im done with bnha or...I get into medschool which is still 3 years away, I am taking care of myself, im staying hydrated, im trying not to put myself down anymore, I will keep going, & will forever continue to be more careful with what I post. also, no one was really coming for me, so don’t worry if you thought so lol. (to you 9 anons who expressed their kind thoughts to me, thank you. to big dick kiri anon thank you. to @bqkubabey​, @flayvus​, & @ultimate-shit-poster​ thank you so so much you really helped me not drown myself in my own guilt.)

anon said: i hope you’re feeling okay today :((

I am feeling a lot better. unfortuantely I did make myself really sick yesterday because ive never been as stressed in my life ever, but im okay now. there’s nothing I can do more for what happened so I will try to continue on as best as I can and I appreciate you caring... ilysm :)

@ikinabi​ said: Your writing??? Actually god sent 🥵👌 and the way you write Mirio gets me GOING

BAHAHAH NOOOOO ITS NOT PLAFUAOGHJIPRAHAR MY MIRIO PIECE YOU LIKED WAS MY FIRST PIECE ON HIM AND OOO BOY I DID NOT DO HIM JUSTICE

anon said: fuck buddy iida is a thought that has never crossed my mind but now that i’ve seen your post i am intrigued haha

well... it is up :) if you wanna check her out :)

anon said: You dont have to answer if you dont wanna but i just wanna see if your okay. I hope your end your doing well and not stressing.

i’m doing much better than I was yesterday!!! I just needed to rest and calm down and stop attacking myself. thank you for checking in!!! it means so much :,)

[ravenaveira]

Okay I get why you might not like Alisha from ToZ, but you hate /Luke/?????? I cannot understand. Why do you hate Luke I gotta know

Ok Im gonna be honest and admit Im a little biased when it comes to Luke, and when I say little I really mean ALOT lol I’ll explain

First off he started off pretty bad but I could already tell he was going to develop as his journey went on and I was right, I was really proud of his development and growth. But then he got all those people killed, ignoring everyone who tried to warn him because of his arrogance which caused everyone to hate him for a short time and rightfully so, hell I was pissed at him still even AFTER they forgave him.

But after he cut his hair and really resolved to change and actually put in the effort, I started to like him again, I really admired his growth and that he acknowledged he screwed up instead of continuing to make excuses for it, he effed up, he realized his mistake and took responsibility for it and worked hard to change. It reminded me somewhat of Zuko’s redemption arc in Avatar with how he kept messing up at first but then realized where he went wrong and did his best to change, I respect that.

So how did I grow to dislike Luke after all that? well as I said Im very biased against him for one reason and one reason only.

Asch

Now from the very beginning we know theres more to Asch than meets the eye, theres a reason he and Luke look so much alike but we just dont know what yet, then when we find out things only get worse from there as we slowly find out his backstory and what happened to him. It was so bad it actually made me dislike Luke because he essentially took literally EVERYTHING from him, although unknowingly the fact is he still stole Asch’s entire life.

His fiance, his kingdom, his best friend, his parents, even his name, literally everything. Asch was kidnapped and forced to go through agonizing experiments to create that replica Luke that they used to replace him and take over his life while Van continued to use and abuse Asch for his own gain. And what happens when Asch finally escapes and makes his way home? he sees his family and friends all moved on happily with his replica, that was beyond sad and hard to watch.

So where my bias comes in is that I like Asch more than I like Luke, why? because Asch is the original and he also just has a way more interesting backstory and personality compared to Luke who pretty much had it made his entire life and took it for granted, replica or not Luke still had it far easier than Asch did. His only real struggle was trying to have his own identity while Asch was trying to cope with having his stolen, which was a far more compelling dilemma in my opinion that I felt could have used more focus.

There was even one point in the game where everyone was against Luke and spent time with Asch in his place for a while and it just felt awkward, Guy and Natalia were originally friends with him, not Luke but at the end of the day, Guy sides with Luke and basically ditched Asch for the copy, which Asch even says he expected him to do. Even so, Guy siding with Luke over him clearly hurt him since that WAS originally his friend, even Jade points it out.

Yes its understandable since he spent more time with Luke after Asch was taken but at the same time it just felt like nobody really gave much thought to Asch’s situation and that somehow Luke was just far more important than Asch even though he’s the original whose life was stolen from him. To me, Asch was just treated beyond unfair and he just accepted it because he felt like he was inferior and had no place with them now. Just the charred remains of who he once was.

Natalia at least made the effort to reach out to Asch more than anyone else did and understood him even though he pushed her away, at least she was the only one who truly tried to console and reach out to him over the ordeal whether he accepted it or not. Luke did too but to be honest thats the LAST person he wanted to listen to for obvious reasons.

Yeah Asch pushed them away but nobody but Luke and Natalia actually took the time to see things from his perspective and tried to empathize with him, he was literally all alone through everything so its understandable why he has such a hard time with ‘teamwork’.

His attitude, like Lukes, is completely understandable when you look at their upbringing. Luke was royalty and behaved like an arrogant spoiled brat because of his privilege and lack of knowledge about the real world, so him being an asshole at first makes sense.

Asch was cold and impersonal at first because he was being groomed to be the ruler of Kimlasca but was also treated coldly by his father, then he was kidnapped at a very young age and experimented on to create a replica that completely highjacked his life and took all his friends and family away from him. So for him to be cold, distant, apathetic and rude makes total sense given what he’s been through, why wouldnt he be resentful towards Luke especially but everyone else too? he felt abandoned and forgotten and worst of all replaced, who wouldnt feel bitterness after that? in many ways, he even felt inferior to Luke which only rubbed salt in the wound.

But even with all of that, ALL OF THAT, I still liked both but just liked Asch more, however, something happened that made it impossible for me to like Luke anymore and forever hate him for it.

Asch dies, and Luke lives, that is unforgivable.

Now listen, I know it was foreshadowed but there were several things that happened that made this impossible to accept. Starting with the fact that near the end of the game all the replicas were supposed to die, keyword ALL so that includes Luke, so it was also foreshadowed that Luke would die as well. Asch from the side effects of the replication and Luke because replicas tend to be unstable and fall apart eventually which is why formicry was banned, yet in the end, only Asch dies and in one of the worst ways possible

He lived in constant pain and suffering both physical and emotional and now he dies in excruciating pain and suffering too, why? protecting Luke, and not just that, but from an experiment he never signed up for and was forced to go through, that was beyond unfair and unforgivable.

His whole life he has lost and sacrificed everything, EVERYTHING because of Luke, not only could he not live his own life but he couldnt even die his own death either. Luke got to live his life and got to escape his death and he’s the friggin replica who was supposed to die with all the rest, make that make sense to me.

The original dies but the fake lives even though its said replicas are unstable and doomed to fall apart eventually and we see it happen to every single human replica except for Luke, I just cant accept that.

They even have the nerve to leave the ending ambiguous where it sort of seems like Luke and Asch fuse and its left open-ended where you could assume its Asch or Luke but we all know its Luke because he goes directly to Tear in the end which doesnt make sense for Asch to do if it was him so Im just…UGH!!!!

So you wanna know why I dont like Luke? because he got to have everything Asch lost, he took everything from him and Asch literally gets nothing in the end, everybody moved on, Asch couldnt go back, Asch was slowly dying anyway from the experiment and Luke just gets to have everything in the end. He stole Asch’s life and in the end, he gets to keep it while Asch just dies protecting his copy, I just cannot accept that.

Its just unfair that Asch had to give up everything and Luke has to give up nothing, he really doesnt lose anything in the end, only Asch does. I know that sounds weird and a little sadistic but it just leaves a bad taste in my mouth ya know? the original dies having everything taken from him while the replica lives on with virtually everything? did Asch really get anything besides suffering in the end? no, thats where my hatred stems from.

So yeah my hatred for Luke stems from my bias for Asch, its not so much that Luke did something BAD that made him unlikeable but more like the ending the creators chose made me dislike him because I found it unfair and wanted Asch to have a happy ending too after all he’s been through but in the end, he dies because of something he had no control over and was forced to go through while Luke gets to go on living happily with everyone in the life Asch will never have, that is unacceptable.

So yea sorry this is so long but I wanted to go over how my admiration and respect for Luke turned to hate, its really of no fault of his own but the ending itself. I also hate that the fandom prefers Luke over Asch or even hate him when he’s the victim of so much but eh to each their own, but that just saddens me that even amongst the fandom Asch gets the short end of the stick while Luke gets all the praise.

Long story short this game just destroyed me lol which is why its my favorite Tales of games in the entire series despite my hatred for the ending, it was such a rollercoaster of emotion and pain that it really stands out from all the other Tales of in the series and IMO Tales of the Abyss is the best out of them all thus far and will always remain one of my top favorite games of all time. It’s such an underated gem.

[sims-psycho]

Let's see... Basics for Andie, Personality for Maya, Physical for Alex, Environment for Luna and Misc for Billie! 😁💕

OKAY, so i realise you sent me this actual months ago, but i’m answering it now okay, ily (below the cut cuz it be looong)

What is their gender?  Female

What is their sexuality?  Gay

What is the meaning behind their name? Do they have any nicknames? Her  father's brother was called Andrew and he wanted to honour him,  therefore; Andie. She has a few nicknames, back home she got called  ‘Little Fish’ a lot, but recently shes acquired the name ‘Siren’.

Do they have any siblings? How many? Are they older or younger? Which sibling are they the closest with? Kit  is her only sibling, and even though she acts a lot younger than her  age she’s actually older than him.....by about 10 minutes, and they’re  really close

What’s their relationship with their parents like? What about other relatives? She has fond memeories of her birth parents, although she visits them less and less now, secretly she doesn’t want them to see what she’s ‘become’. She is however incredibly close with her brother Kit, they argue and fight a lot but deep down it’s because of how strong their bond is  

What would they give their life for? Literally anything. Being immortal means that you can ‘die’ for as many things/people as you want with no repercussions, which means for her at least giving her life for something isn’t as special or meaningful as it would be for a mortal.

Are they in a romantic relationship? With who? How did they meet? She’s single, although canonically within my story she’s also not (but I’m not going to give anything away cuz spoilers hehe)

What do they believe will happen to them after they die? Does this belief scare them? Honestly, she doesn’t think about dying

What is their favourite colour? Favourite animal? Pastel pink and blue are her favourite colours; and she loves spiders and lizards

What are some of their talents/skills? She can surf, skate and ride a horse. She’s also a skilled fighter, and is pretty good at the guitar

If they could make a mark on history, what would they like it to be? She doesn’t really think about stuff like this

How old are they? When is their birthday? Technically she’s 59 (her birthday is 7/6/1960) but she was turned by Erik in 1980 so physically she’s stuck as a 20 year old.

What do they do for fun? Literally, whatever they want, whenever they want. Mostly going out late at night, partying, feeding and being loud about it

What is their favourite food? How often do they get to eat it? Any kind of cookie dough, and she eats it all the time

What was something their parents taught them? Trust your gut instinct

Are they religious? No

Where were they born? Horrocks, WA

What languages can they speak? Where did they learn these languages? She was raised speaking english and that’s the only language she’s fluent in. Over the years she’s picked up a few words and phrases in many different languages, but nothing significant enough to hold a conversation.

What is their occupation? It’s complicated, I guess the best way to desribe what she does is that she’s a glorified body guard/hit man

Do they have any titles? How did they earn them? No titles, but through her work she has aquirred the name ‘Siren’ which she kind of likes in a twisted way

21. What is their favorite thing about their personality? Her determination and persistence

22. What is their least favorite thing about their personality? Her paranoia

23. Do they get lonely easily? No, she likes being alone, and whenever she does get lonely she sits with Erik

24. Do you know their MBTI type? INTP

25. What is their biggest flaw? Her over-confidence

26. Are they aware of their flaws? Not really

27. What is their biggest strength? Manipulation

28. Are they aware of their strengths? Yes

29. How would they describe their own personality? Confident, Charismatic and Engaging

30. When frightened, will they resort to “fight” or “flight”? It depends on the situation, contray to popular belief, she’s fled more than she’s fought

31. Does this character ever put somebody else’s needs before their own? Who do they do this for? How often do they do this? In her own head she believes everything she does if for other people, but in reality she has tunnel vision for what she wants, and only what she wants

32. What is their self esteem like? Too high

33. What is their biggest fear? How would they react to having to face it? Her biggest fear is probably losing control of everything around her, but she doesn’t ever see that happening so she doesn’t think about it facing it.....she probably should tho js......

34. How easily do they trust others with their secrets? With their lives? Having the ability to make most people forget things whenever she wants means she has a very twisted definition of the word ‘trust’, but she’d only really trust Erik and Tegan with actual important things and her life, but doesn’t do that often

35. What is the easiest way to annoy them? Exist in her life when she doesn’t want you too...

36. What is their sense of humor like? Give an example of a joke they would find humorous. She has quite a sadistic and situational sense of humour, conventional jokes don’t really make her genuinely laugh

37. How easy is it for them to say “I love you”? Do they say it without meaning it? She can say it without meaning it very easily, but hasn’t said it sincersly in a long long time

38. What do others admire most about their personality? Her ability to apear calm in every situation

39. What does their happily ever after look like? She doesn’t really see her life ever getting to a point where she can settle, theres always going to be something else to do. She’ll only be happy once she owns the world

40. Who do they trust most? Is that trust mutual? Erik is probably the only person she fully trusts, and it might be mutal, you’ll have to ask him

41. What does their laugh sound like? Do they snort when they laugh? How often do they laugh? Surprisingly it’s actually quite soft and breathy, occassionally they’ll snort, but if something really makes them laugh they just roll around with their mouth open holding their stomach, although they don’t laugh a lot (unless they’re with Elliot, they make each other howl sometimes)

42. What is their favorite thing about their physical appearance? Their hair is about the only thing they actually like about themself physically

43. What is their least favorite thing about their physical appearance? Everything else

44. Do they have any scars? If so, what are the stories behind those scars? No scars

45. How would they describe their own appearance? Edgy

46. How easily can they express emotions? How easily can they hide emotions? They’re not very good at hiding their emotions, although they think they are. They tend to bottle things up and then they explode, and they’re not very good at talking about their feelings either, much too their friends annoyance

47. What’s their pain tolerance like? Very high

48. Do they have any tattoos? What are the stories behind those tattoos? No tattoos yet, although they definitely want to get loads in the future

49. Do they have any piercings? They have 6 piercings in each ear, a lip piercing and also a nose piercing that they don’t wear anymore.

50. How would you describe their style of clothing? How would they describe their style of clothing? Kind of stoner grunge, Alex would probably just say a lot of black and band tees

51. What is their height? Weight? They’re 5′7, and I don’t know about weight

52. What is their body type? Are they muscular, chubby, skinny, etc? Very skinny, but deceptively strong, especially in their arms and legs

53. What is their hair color? Eye color? Skin tone? Dark brown hair, grey eyes and pale skin

54. What is their current hairstyle? What have been some of their past hairstyles? Which was their favorite hairstyle? They’ve had short hair for as long as they can remember and never want it long, might dye it in the future but can’t decide on a colour

55. What is their alcohol tolerance like? What kind of drunk are they? How bad are their hangovers? They have a pretty high tolerance, they’re basically the same drunk as sober, except they’re a little more open and extroverted, but only a little. They don’t get hangerovers

56. What do they smell like? Why do they smell like this? (Is it the things they’re around or a perfume they wear?) Most of the time they smell of hemp, because thats what their body wash is

57. How do they feel about sex? Are they a virgin? They definitely more of a giver than a taker when it comes to sex, mostly because of their own body image issues, they’re not a virgin

58. What is their most noticeable physical attribute? Probably their general sense of style

59. What does their resting face look like? Do they have RBF? They mostly just look dead inside when they relax lol

60. Describe the way they sleep. They don’t really sleep, when they do they normally just crash in whatever position they’re in at the time

61. Which season is their favorite season? Summer

62. Have they ever been betrayed? How did it affect their ability to trust others? Never been betrayed

63. What is always guaranteed to make them smile? She’s very easy to make smile, but just being around her friends makes her smile naturally

64. Do they get cold easily? Do they get overheated easily? She doesn’t get cold often, but when she does it takes her forever to warm up. She overheats fairly regularly but never for very long at a time

65. What’s their immune system like? Do they get sick often? How do they react to getting sick? She has a very strong immune system and doesn’t get sick very often, when she does tho she can be a bit of nightmare, especially due to her wanting to just get on with things even when she’s ill, so she gets grumpy when she’s forced to just lay in bed and recover.

66. Where do they live? Do they like it there? She lives in Great Bear with her mum, dad and two younger sisters. She does like it, but also can’t wait to move out and experience more of the world, it’ll always be home to her though

67. Is their bedroom messy? What about their bathroom? Kitchen? Living room? Her room is incredibly neat, and so is the rest of the house seeing as her mother is also very organized

68. How did their environment growing up affect their personality? She grew up in a very loving, but also very strict household. The rules have loosened as she’s got older, but because of this she holds herself to very high standards and has a strong worth ethic.

69. How did the people in their environment growing up affect their personality? Like I just said, both her parents were quite strict, but also really supportive and loving. They were always willing to talk through any issues and compromise where they could resulting in her being very understanding and mature. What also added to this was the fact that she has two younger sisters that she feels very protective over

70. How do they feel about animals? Do they have any pets? She loves animals, her family have a little white cat called Beanie (Luna named her as a kid and she’s basically her cat tho)

71. How are they with children? Do they have any? Do they want any? She does like children and is good with them. She definitely wants some when she’s older, but not now.....

72.   Would they rather have stability or comfort? Comfort  

73. Do they prefer the indoors or outdoors? Outdoors

74. What weather is their favorite? Do they like storms? She loves sunny days with a nice cool breeze the most. Also snow, just not not for any extended amount of time cuz she gets sick of the cold real quick. She likes thunderstorms when she’s tucked up cozy inside

75. If given a blank piece of paper, a pencil, and nothing to do, what would happen? Probably just lots of little doodles, maybe a couple lists of different things and some dress designs

76. How organized are they? Extremely

77. What is their most prized possession? Either her moon necklace Kane gave her, or her first spellbook

78. Who do they consider to be their best friend? Kane

79. What is their economic situation? She still lives at home with her parents, so she doesn’t really have to worry about this stuff yet  

80. Are they a morning person or a night owl? Morning person

81. Are they bothered by the sight of blood? bothered by it yes, but also used to it

82. What is their handwriting like? curved and neat

83. Can they swim? How well? Do they like to swim? She’s a pretty good swimmer, but only casually, she doesn’t do it much but enjoys it when she does, she has to be in the mood for it though

84. Which deadly sin do they represent best? Anger

85. Do they believe in ghosts? Yes

86. How do they celebrate holidays? How do they celebrate birthdays? She’s very low key with celebrations, she only really spends it with their closest friends and family, normally doing something chill like going out for a nice meal. Sounds boring I know, but she’s very intoverted and doesn’t like being the centre of attention or being around lots of people so it’s an ideal way to celebrate to her

87. What is something they regret? She regrets not being honest with her mum about why she moved away, but she also can’t even begin to think about how to explain it to her

88. Do they have an accent? British northern accent, her official voice claim is Corinne Bailey Rae

89. What is their D&D alignment? Chaotic Good

90. Are they right or left handed? left handed

91. If they were a tweet, what tweet would they be?

92. Describe them as a John Mulaney gif.

93. What’s the most iconic line of dialogue they’ve ever said? “Yeah, I know she’s a bit of a bitch, but she knows she’s a bitch, and you kinda gotta respect that at least”

[fishoutofwaterlikeabird]

When The Popular Kids Don’t Talk To You (Anymore)

Coming back from adventures far away after significant time has passed feels a lot like school and trying to fit in with the popular kids.

Popular kids can be kind of mean but so can the non-popular kids.

Sometimes we have to do some kind of journey to make ourselves better (or at least try to get better). We as humans often go on journeys to find ourselves or inner peace or just to find some adventure or see something new or discover something spiritual related. Sometimes that’s down the road to the supermarket or the local watering hole or some kind of park, other times that can take us into different cities, towns, villages, timezones or even countries and continents. 

But it can also take us back home to where we belonged all along and maybe never should have left.

We do things every day and sometimes they are popular and sometimes they surely aren’t. Life is popular we all live it, but how we live it matters more than what is popular.

My idea of doing a life that matters sure isn’t popular. I don’t care about money or status. I don’t care about being popular or famous. I don’t care about what the world wants or tells me i should do, act or be. I don’t care about new flash things or having heaps of cool things. I don’t care about new fashions or if what i wear or do fits in with the crowd. I also don’t care to fit inside a box to please someone or be who or what i am not. I can’t be anyone else, i wasn’t designed (or created) to be. I was designed/created to be me and all I can do is be me to the best of my ability as is the same for you in being yourself to the best of your ability. There is only one of each of us. We can’t be what we are not and we shouldn’t try (or care) to be either. And to be honest its hard (physically exhausting) to be me and i am barely able to do it, i cant imagine trying to be someone else or someone i am not or someone else wanting to be me.

When i think of a life that matters i think of very few things. Things like having people around me that i care about and that care about me and not just on the surface but down to the roots.

I think of having people in my life that make me feel worth it and special, people that make me feel like i can do anything to be the best me that i can be. People that also make me feel like continuing on and going forward and taking big steps in life. I think of having people around that build me up and encourage me and people that i can build up and encourage as well. I think of living in a place or a community that makes me feel like i can thrive and be myself doing things that make me feel like i matter and what i am doing matters.

I also think of these lyrics by Musician NF: “If you want love, you going to have to go through the pain, If you want love, you going to have to learn how to change, If you want trust, you going to have to give some away, If you want love, if you want love”

Being famous or popular isn’t all its cracked up to be anyway. Just ask them. Or if you cant do that, simply look at the many of famous humans that we watch and have made popular who have died from their own choices.

Im a bit of a sports person. One of the sports I like to watch (and play) is basketball.

The big name more talented guys (the more popular ones) often get paid large amounts. One thing that has been going around fairly recently in sports is mental health issues. One of the big named players DeMar DeRozan (plays on a team out of the state of Texas called the San Antonio Spurs) opened up about his struggles with mental health. He said people say to him, “What are you depressed about? You can buy anything you want.” His simple response was, “I wish everyone in the world was rich so they could realize that money isn’t everything.”

Truth is we all struggle with different things. Popular or not. You never know when you meet someone what is going on for them in their life or inside of themselves. We all have bad days and feel good and good days and feel bad or visa versa. Things we grow up in and around shape us. Things that happen to us shape us as well. But having good human people around you and doing things that make you happy and make you feel like you matter can change and reshape you.

One of the only things I fear is doing popular things and hurting those I care about (that and applying for a job..yikes) or forgetting the things that truly matter (like the people that I care about). I don’t care about much (or many pointless things) as you’ve read already but what i do care about i hold deeply (especially in regards to human people and those that have made an impact on my life, helped me succeed and grow and have cared for me especially when I was low and didn’t feel like myself). Things (possessions) break and become outdated, get stolen or lost, but people (even though the may break, grow, get lost, change or move away) are aways valuable (and never become outdated). I trust and care with very little limits or boundaries. And popular or not, hurt or not i would stand up against even the Hulk to defend someone I care about and fight for them no matter what.

I hated hanging out/around the popular kids. I never fit in but I also never felt like I fit in with the non popular kids either. I was picked on by popular and the not popular and rejected by both as well. When I was growing up and living in California I used to help at at a youth group and as well dabble in doing games (as a game director) 

and lifeguarding (saver of lives at the pool and river) at a summer camp.

My favorite kids to hang out with were the ones that felt just like I felt, the outsiders (the lost and confused ones). Groups (or clicks) of people always form in functions where there are large handfuls of amounts of human people around. People question why would you not want to come to such things where you can swim all day and play games in the sun for a week straight? Well, feeling like an outsider can make anyone feel uncomfortable and awkward at even the best of events. I know all to well what that’s like. Sure I’ve been blessed to travel around to different places around the world, but mostly I’ve done it alone and with questions of fitting in. Which is really never that fun. I also don’t know many days or places where I have felt like I belong. I often feel like an outcast or outsider (or maybe even not from this planet), even amongst people I think are my friends and where I feel like I thrive as an extrovert around large groups of people.

I once had a friend that would often say, “the struggle is real.” She was a pretty decent adult and had great people around her but life wasn’t easy. I don’t think anyone has it easy and i think more often than not most have it harder than the next. We each have things (popular or not) that we are going though. I tried to find something to fill that struggle and it only made the struggle harder/worse. Flying on Jet Planes, jumping off of platforms to splash in water, traveling the countryside and swimming everyday was great, but it doesn’t fix everything or anything for that matter. The problem with struggling with yourself in your own skin and the pain and hurts that come with that is no matter where you go you take them with you. You can run but you can never get away from yourself. Momentary happiness only lasts for a moment and no moment lasts forever.

Finding long lasting happiness is hard, I think it is the same as trying to find gold at the end of a rainbow…nearly impossible (especially depending on your definition of gold). Being popular is probably also hard. But I think being anything is hard. Life is better when we do it surrounded by people that make things better (especially when there is laughter and smiles involved). Theres a quote that says, “Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always.” and a variation of that same quote that says, “be nice to everyone you meet for you never know the battle they are facing inside.”

I don’t hate popular kids and i don’t hate non popular kids either (to be fair i don’t really know what the difference is). But neither of them could talk to me and I wouldn’t die over it. I don’t hate change or when things change and people move away and or on. I hate missing out i guess is more so how i feel recently. I hate that i couldn’t fix or find a fix to what was going on inside me (and still haven’t). I hate that those who helped me felt like they couldn’t do enough when they did more than they will ever know or understand. I hate that coming back feels like the first time i showed up.

Adventures can be great but not when they cost you things that (you had that) were greater.

Don’t be popular, be unpopular. Help out someone who is struggling (hug them).

Share your lunch with the nerdy kid (bring a smile to their face). 

Give a ride to the weird kid cause they missed the bus or were forgotten (show them they aren’t forgotten).

Life is too short to let things come between those that matter and those we find special even if things have changed. Not everything popular is worth worrying (or caring) about. Sometimes it is actually more popular to care about and do what’s unpopular anyway.

[fluffyasra]

Apprentice Questionnaire!

I figured, what better way to introduce my MC (and myself, and this blog) than by filling this out?! 

What is their full name? Elit Aroha Wingate

Zodiac sign: Aquarius (her birthday is February 14th)

In detail describe how they look: She is fairly short in stature, and a little chubby. She has long rosy blonde hair that falls in big, loose waves. She has a smattering of light freckles across her nose and cheeks, with a few light ones on her shoulders. Her eyes are a dark green and she has long, dark lashes. She has a small, straight nose, and ears that are ever so slightly larger than average, which she is very self conscious about. Although she is very soft, she has surprisingly small, bony wrists, and small hands and feet. 

How old are they? 21 years old

What clothes to they like to wear? She usually wears a loose white blouse that sits off her shoulders, and burgundy harem pants. She likes anything that’s comfortable and makes her look mysterious. She doesn’t like to show off her figure, although when she does she often gets complimented on her hourglass figure. 

What’s their favorite piece of clothing? A pink square scarf made of silk that she was given as a gift, although she can’t remember who gave it to her. She likes to use it to tie back her hair. 

Any piercings? Only two in her ear lobes. She’s afraid of the pain of other piercings. 

Do they have any other jewelry they wear? She has a rose quartz necklace, on a long leather thong. She also has a gold ring with a small heart-shaped ruby, and a matching bracelet, that she wears all the time. 

Any tattoos? No. She admires them on other people, but doesn’t have any of her own. 

How old are they? -//-

What do they smell like? She smells like jasmine, neroli, mandarins and Asra’s smoky tea.

What are their four trinkets? A small opal, her ruby ring, an elegant but chipped tea cup, and her pink slipper. 

GOVERNMENT MANDATED FERSONA A cat

What kind of magic are they good at? She is very creative and enjoys magic that reflects this. However, she can also be studious when necessary, and is able to quickly master even complex spells, as she is a fast learner. 

What kind of magic are they bad at? She has never been good at any kind of offensive magic, as she is too afraid of harming anyone around her to practice.

Of the four, six or seven magical elements which are they most connected to? Four: fire,air water earth. six: fire,air,water, wood,earth, metal. Seven:fire, air, water, wood, earth, metal, aither. Elit loves to be around water, which is reflected in her magic. She loves swimming, rainy weather, baths...anything that means she can be around water.

What does their gateway look like prior to their memory loss?  What does it look like afterwards? Prior to her memory loss, it’s lots of pink and gold tones. It looks like a sunset over a lake. Fluffy clouds, shimmering sunlight. Afterwards, it’s the same place, but all the colours have faded. There’s a silvery haze over the whole scene now. 

Do they have a familiar? If they do. What type of animal is it? What is it’s name? Is it still around after they lost their memory? She used to have a black cat named Bella (like Belladonna) but can’t remember her any more. Bella still hangs around, checking up on Elit, but Elit doesn’t realise the connection at the moment.

Have they ever cursed someone? No! She could never. She can hold a grudge though.

How do they handle those headaches/migraines? Sleep and tea are her ultimate remedy for everything. A huge cup of tea, and getting tucked up in her quilt are her favourite way to cope.

What tarot card do they connect the most with? Strength. She shines most through patience and compassion.

Where were they born? She was born in a busy coastal town with a big focus on fishing. Her family moved to Vesuvia for a lifestyle change, to move to what they perceived to be a higher class area.

What is their favorite color? Pink!

What is their least favorite color? Orange

Are they right handed, left handed or ambidextrous? Right handed

What were they like as a child? Elit was quietly curious, and very shy. She spent a lot of her time playing alone, or roping her parents into her games. She enjoyed exploring the beach in her hometown, and playing ‘house’. She did well at school and loved to read, but had few friends.

What were their parents like? Her mother was kind and gentle, but also exuberant and outgoing. She had many friends, and loved to entertain, hosting them for meals on a regular basis. She owned a tea house, which fit her personality well. She was friendly with most of her regular customers, and always had time to chat with them. Elit’s father was more serious and quiet, but still had a good, kind heart. He worked long hours as a book keeper for the bank in town. 

Do they have any siblings? If the answer is yes how many? No, Elit’s mother was very ill when she was pregnant and was advised not to risk a second child.

Do they have any other relatives they are close with? Elit used to be close with her cousins in her hometown, but didn’t really keep in touch when they moved, and now doesn’t remember them anyway.

What are they afraid of? She is terribly afraid of spiders and of losing Asra, as he is the only person close to her. 

What do they identify as? Female

Do they have any allergies? No.

Do they have any other medical problems? No. Elit is physically fairly healthy.

What about mental health issues? She struggles with anxiety, but has been working on improving her coping techniques and strategies.

What’s that personal hygiene regimen like? Elit loves to bathe, and is always very clean. 

Favorite rock or gemstone? Rose quartz, as it symbolises love to her. 

Favorite tree? Jacaranda. She loves the flowers.

Favorite type of weather? Rain!

Least favorite type of weather? Hot and humid.

What is their favorite season? She loves autumn, as the temperature is cool, and it rains often.

How many languages could they speak before the memory loss? How many do they currently speak? Before her memory loss, Elit could speak a local dialect of her hometown, but no longer remembers, so can only speak one. 

Do they sing or play any instruments? Elit loves to sing. She isn’t great, but definitely isn’t terrible either. She can play the harp.

What do they tend to joke about? Most of her jokes are quite self-deprecating.

After a stressful day how do they relax? With a bath with lots of oils, a huge mug of hot tea, and spending time alone. She loves being around Asra, but needs time to herself to relax.

Guilty pleasures? She secretly loves going to the marketplace, buying a whole loaf of fresh white bread, and eating it all while watching the shows people often put on for the children. 

idiosyncrasies? She will only drink out of mugs, never glassware. Elit is very sentimental, and keeps every card and letter she receives. She will find one thing that she loves to eat, and eat nothing else for a couple of weeks.

How do they act when they first meet someone new? How quickly do they warm up to them? Elit is very shy, and hates meeting new people. However, she has become quite good at putting on a front and acting friendly. It takes her a while to warm to someone, and is easily put off them.

In what order would they prioritize Love, fame, money, power, and knowledge? Love, knowledge, money, power, fame. 

List four or more things they love to do: Elit loves swimming, baking, singing, reading, learning new magic and visiting new and exciting places with Asra.

List four or more things they hate to do: She hates doing the dusting, and is attempting to formulate a spell to do this for her. She also hates being in large social situations, running and having to ask shop assistants for help.

List five or more things they have said that sum up who they are: “You big dummy!” “Yikes” “I love this song, it’s sooOOoOoOoooOO romantic!” “Excuse me, sir, but that is MY spot and nobody else can sit there.” “No, thank you.”

How do they react to (both verbal and physical) conflict? Elit is very passive, and avoids conflict wherever possible. If she finds herself in a situation, she is most likely to back down and let the other person win.

What kind of bad habits to they have? She is very messy, and is forever leaving her belongings lying around. She is also often inclined to be quite judgemental of others.

What kind of character faults do they have? She is absent minded and forgetful, which often leads to her having to start over on tasks, due to her losing focus halfway through. She can also occasionally come across as being very blunt, as she gets nervous and ends up just saying exactly what she means. 

What’s their best trait in their opinion? Physically, she likes her hands. Personality wise, she likes the way she looks after those she cares for.

What do they think of their appearance? Most of the time, she is fairly indifferent. She doesn’t think she’s anything special, but also doesn’t hate the way she looks. Although, she is often hung up about her weight.

How do they interact with people in a position of authority? Elit is very respectful, having grown up with such a serious father. She prefers speaking to people in these positions as there is a formula to follow when she talks, and she doesn’t have to think on her feet too much.

Who did they look up to as a kid? She always wanted to be like her mum, confident and well loved. She also admired the hardworking fishermen in her town, and respected their dedication.

How do they interact with kids? She doesn’t like babies and toddlers much, but loves children! She will happily join their games, and her imagination is almost as wild as theirs. 

Do they want kids of their own someday? She would love nothing more than to have her own family.

Are they religious? If so what god/goddess or gods/goddesses do they worship? Elit doesn’t follow any one religion, but likes to draw principles of kindness and respect from different areas. 

What do they think the meaning of life is? To love, and be loved.

What would they want their last words to be? To tell her family how much she loves them.

What do they want to do before they die? So many things! She wants to see more of the world, learn as much about magic as she possibly can, reconnect with relatives and fall in love (properly). 

What/how do they want to be remembered for after they die? For being sunshine in human form.

How do they express affection? In every way possible! Elit is very affectionate with those she truly cares about. She loves to give presents, and the people especially close to her are fortunate to receive her hugs. 

What do they normally eat for breakfast? She doesn’t often eat breakfast, but she loves pancakes. She would usually just have a cup of tea.

Do they like spicy food? Yes! 

Favorite fruit and/or vegetable? Her favourite fruits are tropical ones like pineapples, melons, and mangoes. She much prefers vegetables though, and particularly like courgettes.

Do they like sweets? Elit has a huge sweet tooth.

Do they drink alcohol? If they do, what do they act like when they’re drunk? She does drink, but not all that often. She is a huge flirt and overly affectionate when she’s drunk, which has got her into some awkward situations!

How do they take their tea/coffee? Her tea is always clean, no milk or sugar, but on the rare occasion she has coffee, she likes it with lots of frothed up milk.

What food would they refuse to eat? She can’t stand eggplant.

Is there anything they eat that most people would find unappealing? Elit loves most seafood, and really likes mushrooms. 

When going on the road what food could they not live without? Bread!

What meal gives them a sense of nostalgia? Baked fish is something her mum often made. Fragrant with lemon and fresh herbs, the smell evokes a nostalgic feeling inside her that she cannot currently place.

What do they do when no one’s around? She loves to sing and dance like crazy to get out any excess energy. She is also quite partial to a snoop through Asra’s things.

How would they react if a prized possession got stolen? She would cry, and enlist the help of everyone she could to get it back.

What’s the first thing they would buy if they won the lottery? A private bathhouse. 

What would their favorite modern invention be? Tumblr! She would enjoy the connection with likeminded people without having to physically meet them. 

In a new unfamiliar place what do they do? Explore! Elit loves new places. She would, however, prefer Asra to be by her side though.

Someone just threatened them what do they do? Try to calm and soothe the person. She doesn’t do conflict, so would try to avoid the situation.

A rather well rich looking woman just dropped her purse and didn’t notice. What do they do? Return it (and secretly hope for a reward!).

What’s the worst thing someone has said to them? That she doesn’t deserve her happiness.

What is the strangest thing they’ve ever come across? Asra has loads of...interesting things in his possession that she’s found while snooping, But she can never ask about them, because then he’ll know she was snooping.

Someone just stole food from them what do they do? Let them, and not say anything, but inside be annoyed.

They meet a man at a crossroads. The man says they can have everything they’ve ever wanted. What happens next? She would be curious, but her inner cynic would take over. She’d say “no thank you” and leave. 

As a child what would they say they wanted to be as an adult?  ie. When I grow up I’m going to _______ She would have loved to be a writer.

What’s their D&D alignment? Chaotic good.

What is the stupidest thing they’ve ever done? As a child, she almost caused a fire by trying to melt marshmallows using the heating in her bedroom. 

Have they ever got in trouble with the law or been arrested? No, even if she had done anything to warrant her arrest, Elit is sneaky enough to not get caught.

Do they know how to win a fight? Probably not.

Are they good at hand to hand combat? Again, probably not. She can hold her own for a while, but would be unlikely to win.

Have they ever stolen something? When she was a kid, Elit used to steal small tokens from people and give them to her friends as gifts.

Have they ever killed someone? No!

What/who do they find disgusting? She is terribly squeamish and is disgusted by anything medical or otherwise that would trigger this.

What upsets them the most? Unrequited love. Either her own, or when her friends are pining after someone.

What anime character would they be? Nagisa from Free!

What disney character would they be? Snow White

What monster would they be? Some kind of ghoul

What mythological figure would they be? Undine

List three songs that you associate with them. Let Me Down Slowly by Alec Benjamin, broken by lovelytheband, and Take My Breath Away by Berlin.

[pokefanbri]

https://www.facebook.com/104057744428568/posts/156998459134496/?sfnsn=mo&d=n&vh=e

Fucking told him its a huge red flag if someone doesn't get rid of their apps. Multiple apps. Smh 😠 "oh yea i don't use them anymore" proceeds to use fb dating app" for real come on bro!

Some comments of the post:

"If you have to be checking up on your Partner then you shouldn't be with that person.. Idk how people have time for all this .. love yourself and know your worth.."

"If you're in a serious committed exclusive relationship you should not be on tinder. That's how I met my fiance and as soon as we said we are gf and bf and exclusive we both deleted it. Honestly if I was her I would have broken up with him too"

"a person also has a right to trust their gut feeling and check things out if something's not feeling right. Knowledge is power"

I've already discussed this but this news clip further validates my point of the topic, nothing more. I could call him out on hs bs further with detail, but I won't....yet, out of respect even though he probably doesn't deserve it. Til he reaches me & apologizes for everything he's done, i can say whatever tf I want & i could make a whole damn list.

Its the events of this what happened that started our downfall to begin with cuz i didn't trust him & he didn't even try to gain it back just left it as is when I could've turned my back right then & there, no apology either. Didnt apologize much actually, not even when i last saw him. But from then we spiraled & he got bored of me. I wasn't giving him what he wanted in whatever way & he wanted to find more. Closed himself off from the beginning & that created his boredom 😒

Would've had a blast together like a normal fucking couple if he was less closed off, & wouldn't have felt the need to do shit behind my back.

I'll stop talking about it for now, I have the anger & urge to keep going but I wont...actually no Screw it im pissed 😡 but ill keep it light. Its just not fair, I did so much for him but I was disrespected in different aspects of the whole relationship. Fuck! I've talked about the positives alot cuz i do love him..but the negatives are such bs too.

I want a good ass sincere apology for all of it so I can forgive him & move on, ive already apologized myself even though I dont think I should have to 😒. Didnt even give me a straight answer for the breakup, it was always a different excuse when I know he just wanted to pursue other women without me around im not fucking stupid. His own toxicity was too much even for himself & I was in the line of fire, to where i was the toxic one? No fuck that its unacceptable, he always lied when it came to covering his own ass.

For all i know he's watching me squirm & taking pleasure in all the pain I'm going through over him cuz he likes the attention. But no I actually don't think so on that one he's still good & ill give him credit where its due. But I gave him all the attention he wanted/needed & still wanted more from someone else. Really dude fucking really!?

Man up & own up to your mistakes, speak to me where I can actually hear ur voice speaking back to me with sincerity. We'll apologize together. Yea ull be pissed about this, but after u get over it & calm down. Give in & call me, granted when ur ready, & open up for once in your damn reserved life. Itll help us both with more closure & may even take a weight off our shoulders if we just talk it out, no arguing...since we're done there's no point anyway..a friendly non judgment zone cuz idc, i won't think of u any less.

U confused me during & especially after the relationship cuz i didnt know who u really were, i know the good cuz that's what u allowed me to see, ive accepted the bad that I knew already & from what ive learned...i accepted u regardless.

I always forgave u & not cuz im passive, cuz forgiveness is what the Bible teaches.. ive forgiven u & myself the best i could especially with the last things ive showed u, (accept this part cuz im pissed rn & standing up for myself, ill delete eventually maybe if u ask cuz nobody wants to be seen any less of a person. but I can make it alot worse, calling me the mistake was the worst thing u ever said to me & pointing out your faults so u can be better throughout the relationship was my only toxicity to u) we actually never really fought except the 1 time, just argued a tiny bit rarely about little things.

Ive tried using every ounce of my courage to show u how much im sorry for any wrong ive done. but its up to u now to make things right. U know me, ive always said that u can talk to me about anything. I want to be able to trust again & move on whilst staying friends. What else do u have to lose, might even have a great heart to heart convo dude to dudet

Everything ive ever said up to this point lies all my Questions. But here's most of the list, we both were equally in control of the relationship. Maybe u didn't want me to? But doing everything I had to for myself & the household, what u & ur parents wanted of me & just me being me cuz i had to, u had your own part to play & did provide...but did u actually not want me to cater to u if it were a sign u were lazy or something? Like did u not feel worthy of me? What is it u think is my "addicting personality" that isn't fixable on the surface? What is it really that u didnt like about me? This is why i don't have closure, u left me like this, confused as well as wanting more since u held back so much. Was that on purpose to give me even more false hope & want me to pine over u? Did u ever or do u still, love me at all? What did u want from me & out of the relationship, what was the purpose of it from ur perspective & why do u think i couldn't give that to u? What did i lack that u felt compelled to not tell me so I could improve & vise versa so we both could improve? Why wouldn't u allow me to help u become a better man when (I shouldnt have to btw), its exactly what u wanted but maybe didnt see it? Do u realize your own faults even as u do them? Lol. Like i genuinely want to know as much as the good ive seen, cuz to be better the more open of a person u are the more u understand yourself too.

Unless claiming u want to be a better man is part of ur alluring charm in love bombing process to land a caring girl on purpose lol...god I hope not, that would just mean u rinse & repeat like a for real narcissist 🤔 seriously tho look into that im not even kidding, im asking cuz i care. Im pissed now but 1 thing is that im trying to not put ur behavior against u cuz maybe u can't help it, its just the way u are, all ive seen & experienced points to maybe 50% of u lol. Ive always suspected narcissism, a real psych problem that might be worth looking into. But yea 1 of the reasons especially why im so forgiving & trying not to put it against u, why i still care despite u being a dick lol. I chose to look past it, all the time & up to now cuz I understand what its like to have psychological ailments. The worst part about it is most dont realize it, so i encourage u to do some research & self reflection & admitting it to urself are the 1st steps. Okay? There's different kinds & levels to being 1 too, i found that fascinating. bryan is definitely a different type, ur more lighter than that...definitely not the worst which is the physical harm type. Trust me its worth finding out more about yourself, just dont use it to ur advantage in a bad way but i trust u to do right & grow. Not sure a discarded supply (ie me) has ever tried telling a narcy what they might be for the benefit of their own self awareness 🤔,idk if its ever been done, but theres a 1st for everything? U can find alot on it in quora digest alone but Google is also ur friend.

You always were worth every effort of mine to help u in any way to be happy, & i was most happy when u were. U mean alot to me still, its the effect u had on me, I was under ur spell lol its hard to rid myself of it still, not sure when it'll pass. I chose to see it as a gift rather than a curse, that ur effect on me is still so strong when I shouldn't give a damn. If u really are a narcy, then I understand & don't put alot against u cuz its just the way u are & i need to accept it, but if it somehow helps u to help yourself cuz of it, then whats the harm? But, even in doing this or having my socials public for u...maybe just feeds into what u want...i still dont care, I want u to see how bad or good im doing without u in my life, so u know im okay at least. U promised friendship, least I can do is allow u to keep tabs on me too we spoke of, on my end of things.

The 18th of June was the last time i saw u. It'll soon be a month ago in about a week & a 1/2 & your birthday would mark 2 months. Cant believe we couldn't even last through to that 😔

Mark my words playa I will be contacting u on that day lol. Can't ghost your homie forever sweetie

[refractedglade]

do all of them. or the odds. or the evens. honestly just do some I'm tired and dont feel like reading through them all :/

this is honestly a lot so it gets a cut. also wow way to abuse the question ask.

1. do you have any recurring dreams? what are they?

only ever had one I think, and that was back in… probably elementary school? I had monthly nightmares thanks to one of the least frightening episodes of Courage the Cowardly Dog, god bless you young me you tried your best

2. what is your favourite kind of fruit?

im torn between grapes and apples

3. sweet or savoury?

savory

4. what is your smallest/pettiest fear? 

not even sure what the hell that means uhhhhhhhh

the fear that i am or will be mediocre at video games. it sounds dumb but at this point it’s one of the only quote-unquote skills I have that I can identify and im afraid to lose that

5. what is your least favourite vegetable?

peas

6. what is your favourite art movement?

surrealism I guess? I don’t know much about art movements tbh

7. do you drink milk?

fuck yes i do

8. what was the last line of the last book you read?

“A mob of Surly Thugs are there to greet you.

TO BE EVEN MORE CONTINUED.”

9. do you like bitter food?

not really

10. what is the most significant event in your life so far?

probably one of the several times i’ve moved since that always leads to meeting new people

12. what is your favourite breed of dog or cat?

I love labradors.

13. list your top 5 favourite turtle names.

what

uh

Leonardo

Donatello

Michelangelo

Raphael

and uhhhhhhh

Coco Jumbo

14. what job would you have if you could have it without going through all of the school or experience that is required?

if I didnt have that Id probably get fired very soon for being shit at my job, but lets say public attorney, see how far I get in that bullshit

15. are there any names that you dislike so much that you would dislike the person with the name? what are those names?

no not really

16. what is your favourite letter?

either R or T, they’re both such helpful shortcuts for web browsing

17. are there any instruments you wished you played?

I wish I had continued learning piano when I was younger. I was in the middle of lessons when we moved for the second time and we just never got another teacher.

18. list your best friends.

@verbalmoonwalking and honestly even though we haven’t talked much in forever @wombathills

19. would you rather be a skeleton or a ghost?

a ghost, way more opportunities and less of a hassle (imagine trying to navigate through the world as reanimated bones)

also there’s already some people i’ve promised to haunt

20. do you prefer fish or lizards/snakes? (as pets)

i dont have much experience with lizards or snakes (although I did have an anole for a year or so). i guess fish, they’re just so incredibly low-maintenance

21. art or music?

weird way to phrase that considering music is art but music

22. what is your favourite type of flower?

unfortunately Ive never learned much about flowers, but I do really like when they’re blue

23. soup or salad?

souuuuup

24. are you good at keeping plants alive?

surprisingly yes! I’ve had two plants growing since late winter/early spring I think

25. do animals tend to like you?

heck yeaaaah

26. what is the worst book you’ve ever read?

the Book of Leviticus

there’s not really a good answer to this, if a book is terrible I either never got far enough to remember or read it for a school assignment and promptly forgot about it

27. do you collect anything?

too many thing, and most of them only for short periods of time. the only consistent collection i have is my Halley Labs music collection

28. how many pillows do you sleep with?

right now just two, used to be three

29. whats the latest you’ve ever woken up?

5 in the evening i think? I forget details since its been a few years, but after an all-nighter I pulled during my first finals of college I passed out at around 6 pm and woke up almost a full day later

no wait addendum: i think like 1-3 in the morning because of falling asleep around 8-11 am.

30. how many pictures are on your walls?

my room has… a painting and a poster

31. what age did you stop keeping stuffed animals on your bed?

honestly? i didn’t

32. what is your favourite candy?

Butterfinger, or if in moderation Twizzlers

33. what is your favourite baked good?

its not the real answer but a vivid image of a steaming baked potato keeps appearing in my head

actually the more i think about it the better that sounds, like its plain but theres a lot of room for customization there

34. do you have a camera? if so, what kind?

yeah, i actually sort of inherited it recently from my late grandfather, though I haven’t actually,,, used it yet.

35. do you wear jewelry?

nope, used to wear a fidget ring a lot but who knows where that went. if i ever find a really cool necklace I’ll probably start wearing that all the time though.

36. sunrise or sunset?

sunset, sunrises are pretty but its a pain in the ass waking up the early

also seeing something like that in the evening is just a better state of mind imo

37. do you like to listen to music with headphones or no headphones?

depends on both the music and my mood, generally at this point no headphones though just because when i listen to music its while driving

38. what was your favourite show as a child?

I had a weird sense of almost reverence for Digimon as a kid. My mom had forbidden me from watching Pokemon, and I only ever saw like 3 episode of DIgimon once by accident because a day care had their cassette tape. I barely saw any of it but I loved it.

Season 3 aka DIgimon Tamers is still a solid series, and I still vividly remember watching season 4 on TV when I was slightly older and finding it weird but cool (4 was where they could actually like combine with their digimon)

39. describe your favourite spot in your house.

im the basement goblin so the couch down there is for all intents and purposes mine. also its right next to the room with the heater so hell yeah.

40. do you like to be warm or cold?

I like to be in slightly cold environments so I can be the kind of warm that isn’t just warm but warmed up, like the feeling of being warm when things are cold is very good.

41. the best joke you have.

i think the best jokes i ever did done was editing like 20 different photos of a friend of mine into dumb joke images

one was his face on a tube of laundry soap with some dumb caption along the lines of “ah, this is my life now”

42. whats the weirdest thing that you’ve seen happen in a public place?

first thing that comes to mind is a futon frame on the side of a highway. now let me clarify:

-it was sitting upright, not like it had been tossed aside

-it was on the INSIDE side, not the outside

-no mattress in sight

just… there.

43. CD or digital?

CD, I’ve been conditioned to love owning physical copies of stuff. On that note, also cassette.

44. who do you miss right now?

good friends, my dog, my will to live….

45. if you could combine two places in the world, which two places would you choose?

if by world you meant universe, lets combine earth with some other planet and see what the fuck happens

if you meant earth then Michigan and Ohio, that’d make some shit way more convenient for me

46. describe the worst substitute teacher you’ve ever had.

one of my high school english teachers went on maternity leave, and so we had a sub for about ¾ of the school year. i forget a lot of why the class hated her but a lot of it just came down to she was not good at teaching, and we had to deal with that for almost a whole year.

47. do you believe horoscopes?

short answer is no. less short answer is that while I don’t really believe anything like that, i still enjoy looking at and considering them, especially when they’re in shitpost format.

my sister came back from a mission trip to Africa a while ago and brought me back a small gift she got overseas, a pair of small handmade dice. i’ve developed a habit where on some mornings I’ll roll them before my day starts to see how high I roll, and sometimes interpret that as what the day might be like. do i believe it? not especially. but I almost sort of pretend to believe it. that’s sort of how i treat horoscopes, except even a little less than that.

48. are you spiritual?

eh

49. describe your pets ( or family if you dont have pets )

we had an extremely good dog named Zeus for a long time. yellow lab, energetic as hell in his youth and even in his old age. started having pain in his legs as he got older and eventually we had to put him down a year or so back.

he’s honestly part of the reason im not sure about getting pets in the future, i dont know if I want to go through that again.

50. are you good at getting over mistakes?

I guess? I mean I’m good at getting over that post-”I fucked up” anxiety for sure, that’s a skill I learned in college within like a year. After a bad test or something I just started forcing myself to say “fuck it it’s over can’t change anything now.”

[annieoftheshitposts]

this post used to be a link to the old canons page but i’m turning it into a text dump of the revised one for people on mobile [or who have bad wifi/computers that the fancy schmancy script on the canons page wouldn’t play well with.] theres a lot sorry not sorry. here we go.

Canon Info

 Much more is said about Annie in external sources than the game itself, here's copypastes of all I know of and go by.

From the 3rd DLC Character Voting page:

As popular figures in nationwide folktales, a children’s television adaptation of Annie and Sagan’s adventures was inevitable. The show’s success lies in its pair of live action hosts, who are as convincing as their cartoon counterparts. Though what the public learns about the real Annie might surprise them. Annie is a seasoned fighter who has been around for a long time, acquiring many skills and powers along the way. Her sword is forged from a meteorite and can channel the power of the stars in its sweeping cleaves. Her right eye bonds her to her Remote Parasite and partner, Sagan, who grants her powers of a galactic motif. While some of her abilities carry more of a sparkly magical girl motif, Annie tries to execute them with the same sternness.

From "The canon info thread" on Skullheart Encore forums:

-Annie is several-century-old. Her immortality was gained when her parents wished on the Skull Heart so that Annie would never have to experience the hardship of adulthood, thereby making her forever a child. -She has had many different weapons and abilities throughout her life. - Sagan, her remote parasite. keeps her right eye in his mouth. - She’s physically not able to swear due to her condition - She is familiar with Double due to her experience fighting Skullgirls - Annie has encountered a lot of Skullgirls and has killed a lot, but not the same a lot. She’s seen the cycle multiple times and seen how they become stronger each time and is looking for the underlying source now. - The Annie of the Stars show is very similar to the Super Mario Bros. Super Show with live action segments with cartoons and PSAs and commercials in between. - Sagan can talk. Somehow. - Annie hides her immortality by getting a new hairstyle every few years. The show tells the audience that they have simply changed the actress. Eliza also pulls a similar trick

and finally some other misc. scraps that weren't covered above:

-annie has some kind of "super" or "powered up" form, in which she seems to fuse with sagan. it can be seen on her

move concept sheet, in the end of robo-fortune's story mode, and as a very tiny feature on one of robo-fortune's merch posters, but to my knowlege it's never really been talked about.

-she's been depicted with an "incognito outfit", presumably for going out in public and not being recognized by fans.

-sagan is named after renowned astrophysicist carl sagan. this isnt really relevant to anything but it's not on the wiki so i figured i'd share :b

-and this random pic of annie in the past with a different look, plus gun and minus eyepatch, apparently official art from the "digital art compendium". i haven't seen the source for this one myself though, and count this one more as speculative canon since that ingame image up there with her eye uncovered doesn't show a scar or any kind of damage from this.

-another canon fact about annie is she is strong and brave and i love her.

Headcanon (Annie)

this is pretty disorganized bc i come up with and revise random shit on a fairly regular basis, but the very least it should be all here and up-to-date. [though on this text post version i may forget to keep it updated oops.

she can still only normally see from the one eye in her head [and likewise probably has terrible depth perception lmao], but she can “project” her vision into the one sagan has if need be, during which time both he and her main eye are blind.

even though sagan’s vision is his own and she doesn’t actively “see” through that eye most of the time, the stuff he sees still becomes part of her memory and she can recall it if need be, though it’s far less tangible and kind of a surreal experience trying to do so.

the space where her other eye was is now just...space. like empty starry void stuff. yes, TECHNICALLY, you could put stuff in it but why would you. sagan can feel when something interacts with it and it’s really just weird and uncomfortable for both of them.as sagan is the source of their powers, the strength of her abilities is slightly dependent on her distance from him. something like long sustained flight is really only capable if they’re touching, but she still has ample firepower and ability to zip around for a pretty good range otherwise.

Not interested in anime

absolutely hates being called her full name; hasn't gone by anything other than "Annie" for longer than anyone that should be alive today should know.

part of her curse of eternal youth is remembering everything up until the point it kicked in and she stopped aging [i.e. when she was Actually a kid] exactly as well as if she hadn’t aged.

from that point however, a lot of it is hazy as shit aside from more recent times [as you’d expect from someone who’s been around hundreds of years]. this one's gonna be angsty as shit when i address it and you can thank @sandstriker for that. fucker.

also hates being restrained. by the concept sheet and beo's story, her fighting style is very kinetic and relies heavily on mobility; take that away and you get one very uncomfortable and very angry starchild. [this one's 'cause of y'all with the handcuffs asks. this is part of why she's so agitated rn.]

what's in the pouch? whatever is alternatively convenient. is it snacks? is it a quick incognito disguise? is it her whole entire sword? who knows. i think it might be infinite hammerspace in there.

i haven't put much though into this side of her story yet, but i've decided part of the mythos of the "annie of the stars" character as a figure of legend is that she literally lives, among the stars.

if there's enough folktales about her to base an entire show off of, i'm willing to bet she used to be less elusive when she was just about fighting skullgirls before dedicating herself to the whole "looking for the underlying source" thing.

Headcanon (Sagan)

tl;dr: as far as things go here, he's essentially a cat and/or younger sibling.

Sagan's canon information and characterization is basically nonexistant, so i got to do pretty much whatever i wanted with him lmao.

simply put, he's a little gremlin of a partner, but he is genuinely good-natured and a happy-go-luckly little dude. mischevious, loves to get up to Shenanigans, go off and hide/disappear to fuck knows where for several hours, climb and sit on tall things[or failing that, annie's head], etc. @sawkinator has described him, regrettably accurately, as "the Token Disney Animal Sidekick". he has a lot of mannerisms like an animal, but is still very much a being of at least average human intelligence. he's also surprisingly indestructible. far from invincible of course, but in canon he's been shown to be quite stretchy and...possibly have minor shapeshifting capabilities?? he's pretty much immune to being squashed and feels very little [if any] pain from most things. really, as far as i can tell he's pretty much a weird sentient plushie. like, if it's not going to damage a plushie, it's not going to hurt him; examples being: getting knocked back really hard or falling a long way? not a problem. fire? problem.

Sagan tends to be somewhat nonverbal and generally only uses a few words or short phrase at a time when he does speak, which sounds something like the voice clip below. that being how it is, he can be kind of inscrutable and more than a bit jarring to most people--though at this point annie's been with him more than long enough to be completely desensitized to it and doesnt quite get why anyone would be perturbed. fortunately, with that familiarity also comes understanding, and she can easily "translate" and articulate more from his expressions. this understanding is a two-way street, and on its other side is sagan's sensitivity to her moods. annie's not particularly...communicative of her emotions, but sagan can always tell when she's having an off day or something's bothering her, and is far better than anyone at helping her feel better. all things said and quirky antics aside, he and annie are exceptionally close and fiercely protective of eachother the moment it comes to it. they don't make a big deal of showing it outwardly, but they know they've always got eachother's backs.

he's taken quite a liking to beowulf as well, and beo defintiely shamelessly enables sagan's shenanigans.

as i see it, annie may be the passion and power of their operation, but sagan is the heart and soul. beowulf is like....comic releif and emotional support. not entirely necessary, but certainly welcomed to have around. yeah. listen im a big sap i just want them all to be good friends ok. i love them.

also sagan does like and watch a lot of anime.

Blog Canon

miscellaneous happenings that either have continued relevance/significance, or y'all just won't let die. there's not a overarching plot to this thing at all, but geez we’ve kinda gathered some history here huh?

taught sagan to say fuck [and other swears, in her stead]. he used to have to do it on command but he's gotten really good at filling in for her.has a

stoat fursona that beo helped her make. she thinks it's neat/cute but has no real attachment to it.

attempted to sue the crystal gems for ripping off her entire shtick [it didn't go well]

beowulf also taught her how to dab.

@sparkeletran is a nuisance and must be stopped

the 70$ pile of high school musical merch. sagan and beo both wear the t-shirts sometimes. she hates it. don't let her attitude fool you though this is actually the best and most important ongoing joke in this whole damn thing.

the first handcuffs stint. they’re gone now but they had a good ~30-post run, and she did take to learning lockpicking because of it.

this.

hey. guess fucking what lads. handcuffs ROUND TWO 'cause y'all just don't fuckin' quit. the first mini story arc sorta thing, in which she visits the cirque des cartes and has an aggravting encounter with taliesin. [currently ongoing][hopefully soon ending]

[[redacted for ""spoilers""]] due to said encounter with taliesin

sparkeletran is a nuisance,

"the official annie of the stars instagram is just cat memes but with sagan" it's canon but i haven't decided whether it's something she would have had already or a recent thing. [either way, hasn't been touched on yet due to the arc taking so long]

badart annie is sorta like her own thing at this point but nothing that happens with her is canon; she p much just shows up for exceptionally dumb posts. we did give her noclip though which is terrifying. on that note i may as well include the things that are Not canon but y'all won't let me forget

beo's animated belt thing. look. it doesnt talk.

spray-on boots.

the lawnmower weapon

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh homestuck

[nadinesha]

Slowly but surely.

We call it quit. We cant go any further. Me and my ex have decided to make a move, in seperate way. Its me. I am the one who force him to live on his own by the day and forward. I have been thinking about it before we even had the fight. I believe you have heard a phase that say “the more you stay, the more you learn. the more you say, the more it burn.” So i know it was the best time to make everything done on dot. By the same time, i never thought of looking for anyone to replace my ex but i know that i need someone to make me feel better, talk with me everyday, ask me questions and tell me answers. It just a way to keep me busy from thinking on the decision i have made. Yup , i met this one guy thru tinder (well its 2016, cant say that its not legit to meet anyone thru online ahhahaha) plumpy and yup he was doing as what per i was hoping from a person . Text me everyday, get know of each other. Yah still my ex tried to ask me to change my mind, keep my track back to his and blabla. But i dont know what makes me strong to decide to not ever walk back to my ex. I am still with my decision to keep what i want as my priority , no more considering on others’ opinions and favors. After 1 month texting, me and this new guy decided to meet , no more online texting. This friendship has to be real. All along the one month , we only exchange picture once and the rest was only on phone call. (His voice is too good to hate) so on the day i meet the girls, we decided to meet at Grind22 Cafe, Bangsar. At least i have my girls to accompany me meeting this half stranger half friend guy of mine. The day went well, on the first time i meet him, he was wearing a nice faded grey folded sleeve tshirt with dark blue levi’s jeans. Tried to make myself chill during the date, thanks god i have my girls around so theres no such awkward situation happened or odd topics out on our conversation. I can still remember how he only look 2 seconds on me whenever i stare to his eyes. Its my way when having a talk with anyone. Always keep my eyes look straight deep in the person eyes so obviously he wasn’t comfortable with the eyes contact but its fun to see that kind of reaction from him. I can see he was freaking nervous abt the date. I was sitting next to him. After a couple hour, i grab his hand as it was very close to my hands, it isnt a sign of flirting. I just wanted him to know that dont get way too nervous, we are fine. I like you. This is not going to be the first and the last time you will see me. He grab my hand back as a way to say that he is completely relieved to see that i am accepting him as well. After days, on 12/11/16 , in his car, around 7.15pm, the sky wasnt yet dark but you can see the moon start to glowing alone in the sky. The sunset light still helping me to see his face. He called my full name and i was suprised as he continues his sentence with something i didnt expect. “Would you be my girlfriend?” OHMYGOD my heart was dropping but fortunately i was not fainted or died on that time, i hug his hand tightly and said “of course i do ! i love you !” Can see from his face that he was yup again , relieved. But as the time pass by, we get into couple of fights and oftenly, compare him with my ex. Theres a thing that he doesn’t have as what i had from my ex. My ex is very superb in looking. Trust me even gayboy also become a threat during our relationship. But this new guy, he have that cute looking face but not as cute as my ex. Whenever that comparing things come thru my mind, i always like fight with my inner self to not ever overshadow a person 99% positivity with a 1% negativity and stop loving a person by his look. Stop qusha stop. But still , this judgmental thinking cant avoid from comparing that 1% shit with my ex. Time after time, i am getting to know my boyfriend more and more. I learn that he is a family person, how much he wanted to have a family of his own. How much he wanted to have a baby and learn how to take care on a baby. He love animals as much as i do. He love to eat as much as i do. He even have love on me but he have so much than i do. it isnt because i hate him or whatever but after 3 years dating with my ex, i realize that its not easy to forget a person you have love with all you have. it isnt easy. Because in my mind i still thinking about my ex. i dont love him anymore but it doesnt mean everything has faded away. Sometime i ask my self if i really regret on my decision but i know time has flies. There is no such as turning back or else because my ex ard with a new girl and that girl was his ex before me and we had several time fight just because of that bitch and knowing that he with that bitch again literally mess my mind for almost a week. And by the time , i believe my bf can see it clearly based on things i have tweeted and shared in twitter. Thinking about it now how much he in pain patiently wait for me to slowly stop thinking about my ex makes me want to kill myself now. A good and kind man like him shudnt face with such of that stupid situation. Everything back to normal, and i was no longer in that freaking dilemma , we date more , share things more . Slowly i realize , my ex only have that 1% while him, he has the other 99% of what iw anted in a guy , in a person i wanted to be my forever, why can i be grateful this time. I learn that looks come after love. We had a very lovely dating days . I started to love looking on every inch and details on his face. its not about having a person who attract others to look but its about a person who attract you to look at him. its about a person who always give the best that he has in his life , a person who plan eveything for you and your future kids. its about a person who always making sure you are safe and always in the comfort zone of anything. A person who dare to bring you to meet his mom and let his family learn more about you , learn that this is why you were choosen to be his wife. its about him, and its about you. A person who willing to spend his money, time and effort just to suprise you even it just a small bag but think again how much he become very precise in everything you like, take note on things you wish you have. its about a person who stand on your side and always at your back. support on everything you wanted to do. always listen and fix everything that seems unsolvable. Everything seems so perfect. How much I wish my kids will have the same eyes as he has when he smile. how much i wish my kids will have a daddy like him. after all this time, i realize that he has what it takes to be my besfriend, boyfriend, partner, husband and father to my kids. he have everything insde him and its valuable. i will never let him go or let myself miss a guy like him. Like everything ! After the drama things, we plan for a holiday. Which i hope can fix all my stupid thoughts and attitude and try to make our relay better and stronger. Yup , it happened . The holiday went so well. by the time before departure, we were talking about food and suddenly i have to excuse myself to go to the toilet . i really dont think about anything as i came back to the seat, we were talking about our luggage when i decided to open my bag and show him how full it is but then i saw theres a polaroid bag inside my bag. i ard have one, and its on the table and he bought that for me. i ask my friend if she put her polaroid bag in mind but she said its not her bag. my boyfriend, he keep silent beside me . i ask him if he bought that for me , he said no. i asked my friend once again. she strongly said no its not her. i push my bf to tell the truth then he said , yup he bought the second bag for me. i was suprised again because i only have one polaroid camera, and why are you buying me a second bag ? he said by the time he purchased the bag , he remembered that i wanted the black colour bag but the shipping is too long to wait , it might arrive after the holiday date so he bought be the first bag in brown colour. he suprised me the first bag a week before the holiday and i was happy already because i love the brown colour as well. but then he knows my wishes is still not complete so he decided to buy the black bag for the second time and hoping that we will receive before the holiday and yup , it just arrived a day before the holiday. he want me to have the black beg no matter what . so that is how i can have two polaroid bag today. during the holiday,  i only have my phone with me just for taking pictures and on the rest of the time , i spend with him. We go to the beach together and walk by the shore . Spend the night together with cups of juice, under starry night sky. We went for food hunting together. we eat burgers, fries, seafood, we even had the best sambal belacan, we had kacang rebus, special milkshakes, chicken wings. The holiday has really change me into a new me. i have never believe that one day i will be as confident as i am today in a person who will completely become as a part of me. Everytime i look into his eyes , i can feel the butterly is now in me. He looks calm but i know i am not. he now can look back on me and its more than 5 minutes. My heart beating so fast, everytime . Because i know , i am looking on a person i am deadly in love . Deadly . He have that smile i love to see , his eyes is so shining so cute with the nice smiling eyes looking whenever he smile thru my camera . His smell , oh my god . His teeth is the what makes his smile even sweeter. I am going to lick that teeth i swear. his arm, that is where a girl like me shud be. his leg, yup this is suprising. he can carry me, let me sit on his lap with only one leg holding my whole body weight. that is impressing. he is so strong. yup physically and mentally strong . what a boy. no more doubt. i have no more doubt on him. he has to be mine forever. i never this crazy about my boyfriend. Tbh i have no more care on my ex. he has no idea how much i am in love with my life now. it better than i expect . there is no wrong in my decision and i am glad that i have done it . I have this few things of my ex belonging with me, thought of returning all his things back . I have decided to not to because is such a wasting time and money. I CAN BUY LIPSTICK instead … Yup , i love you Ahmad Aisar . Thanks. xoxo Qusha.