#at least the cals are in the negative rn

[the-tinygiant]

so far i’ve burned 672 doing exercise so far im tired bored

[violettpettals]

foods that make me feel safe *TW ED***

Note: I will not be providing calorie counts for any of these. Whatever food makes you feel safe is valid regardless of how many calories are in it. You deserve nutrition and you deserve to feel safe above all else (regarding food).

So hi, I haven’t rlly posted anything about myself, and a safe food list seems like the least triggering information I could give relating to my ed. As you’ll probably notice, most of these are sweet bc I’m an absolute sugar fiend. Anyways enjoy ig? Idk but ily and ur valid, byeeee :))))

🥴Sour Gummy Bears (specifically the Haribo brand)

Idk why but I think it’s bc they’re so tiny, and I can’t eat too many bc of the citric acid. They remind me of being a little kid which is comforting, and I kinda just like the process of chewing something for a while so they’re good. Also ofc they’re sugary.

🥴 Those Big “Gourmet” Lollipops (they’re sold individually, usually at like Walgreens or smth)

They’re big so they last forever and give me the feeling of eating for a while, but they’re not too big so I don’t feel particularly guilty. The cotton candy one is the best. Idk if I’m doing a great job at helping you visualize them but I feel like you know which ones I’m talking about? Idk.

🥴 Sugar Free Jello Pudding

I usually make them with almond milk, and they’re so so good and filling. I never rlly liked chocolate pudding before my ed but I rlly like these idk why. The chocolate and white chocolate ones r the best. The pistachio one tastes like realizing you’re not getting into your dream college, wouldn’t recommend.

🥴 Soup (non-cream based)

It’s warm and filling, and there r like infinite types so that’s cool. It’s rlly bad for you, but I love the Campbell’s canned chicken noodle soup, it’s so salty and tastes like a shot of straight msg right through my veins. Also kinda reminds me of cheap chicken ramen, which is a big fear food of mine so that’s nice ig. Non cream based though, bc just like every other poc apparently, I’m lactose intolerant 😩

🥴 Fruit

I’ve convinced myself that I don’t have to count (most) fruit calories into my daily total so that’s pretty good I think. I do count bananas, avocados, and other fruit like those though. But grapes and watermelon? Completely safe, probably because they’re mostly water.

🥴 Banana Bread

I think it might be a pretty unconventional safe food bc it’s carbs, sugar, bananas, and baked all in one. But I find it fairly safe, mainly bc I used a low cal recipe so it ends up being a doable amount per slice. Also I can pack in flax seed and protein powder and a bunch of other supplements for hEaLtH and pretend that I’m not literally mentally ill.

🥴 Water

Putting this here bc I KNOW some of y’all r not drinking enough water. Drinking water isn’t suddenly going to undo the negative effects of your ed and make you “safe”, but it’s still rlly important.

So yea that’s all I can think of rn. I know there are definitely a few more but i suddenly don’t feel like typing anymore, and they’re also rlly basic safe foods (Diet Coke, gum, black coffee, etc).

[babithyn]

Babi Diary 7

November 25th, 2022

~tw ed and mental ilness~

I. Am. Frustrated.

I have been so fucking exhausted this past week I feel like I’m losing my god damn mind.

I’ve been cleaning for two god damn weeks. I took a two day break did some tattoos and they’re fucking infected. None of my tattoos have EVER gotten infected before and now two of them are.

I haven’t been able to take my fucking meds because I can’t find them in this shit hole I call my room. I’m schizophrenic so not being able to take my meds is not a good thing.

Here’s a little insight on my schizophrenic ass, I hear a constant fucking mumbling. When I become overwhelmed or have an overly negative mindset the mumbling turns into… idk like scream mumbling? The best way I can describe it is ‘bass boosted mumbling’ idk if that makes sense but that’s what it’s like. With the random clear words that sometimes don’t make sense what do ever or they’re just straight insults. Like thank you hallucinations! It’s not like I don’t already insult myself enough already! But guess what that’s what’s happening! I’m just loving life rn!

On top of that, My moms dog sitting, and since she’s gotten here, either her, or one of my dogs, has decided my room is there new bathroom. And I unfortunately can’t do anything about it. I don’t have a fucking door to to keep them out. And that’s exactly what I saw in my room tonight.

After prepping a shit ton of side dishes for thanksgiving, (we’re celebrating late due to my ma’s work schedule) I walk into my room to go to sleep just to find piss and shit all over my floor in front of my bed. I have a couch in my room and one of the cushions fell off and guess where it was? Right next to the piss in front of my bed.

On top of all that I had to fucking taste the food I was making, because I’m not about to serve my fam food that taste like ass. I don’t even want to know how many cal I ate today. And none of it was healthy in the fucking least.

So in conclusion; I’m an overwhelmed, mentally ill, fat bitch, who wants to sleep permanently, and can’t seem to let themselves breath.

Okay rant/vent over.

As per usual, thank you for coming to my tedtalk. Much love and stay safe🖤

[witheringvoice]

Day Dream Breeze - Free Verse (School Format) + Algebra Two Class - Free Verse (School Format)

Written for LA, so um...I used she/her pronouns but it's so hard not to change them to he/him or they/them pronouns rn lol. Why do my gender be all over the place? Because I'm cool like that, a fucking potato that's what I am.

//

Tall forest trees over the girl.

Quiet calm wind, blowing through her hair.

Wandering into the trees she walks into her dreams.

The noises around her, quiet and calm, until she's lost in the forest.

.

The chirping of birds, the small sound of the wind, the distant sound of running water.

Her erratic thoughts like a storm, come to a halt.

She walks until she finds a river.

The swishing and splashing of the running river.

.

She crouches down and dips her hands in the river, sighing in contentment.

Pulling her hands out of the water, bringing some out with them.

Sighing softly she stares at the water slipping through her fingers.

If you look close enough, the water, the droplets, are words, thoughts.

.

She opens her hands, letting the water fall as she looks up at the sky.

The sun, blazing at a comfortable temperature, giving everything a goldish glow.

She stands up and walks over to the tree by the bank of the river.

Sitting down and leaning against it, staring up at the clouds.

.

Clouds form little pictures of things the girl thinks of.

Her gaze trails to the flowers all around the clearing of the river.

Roses as red as apples, sunflowers as yellow as lemons, and so much more.

All of the flowers, she caresses, until her eyes flutter open and she returns to class. :)

//

Okay now the next one lol, I wrote an extra poem because I finished the first one too quickly that day. I always got done with my LA work way too quickly, in seventh grade, I read the book that we were supposed to spread out between like 8 weeks, in a few days. She kept giving me books to read to pass the time and I'd keep finishing them so quickly lol. Now I can't read at all...

//

A quiet room, slowly five students file in.

A quiet atmosphere, broken by a loud voice.

Math, thoroughly ignored.

Anything and everything else, spoken of.

.

Topics fly by like a hummingbird running away.

Jokes and amusement flow around the room.

A ding of the bell whenever one forgets the negative.

A chuckle for the rest, as they saw it coming.

.

The class is hectic, the class goes off track.

Like a dog running from their owner on a hike.

But even still, the class is fun, the class is enjoyed.

Even if the math is a headache.

.

The work is ignored, barely touched.

Yet eventually, it seems to get done.

It may seem like it shouldn't have.

But that's where you're wrong, let them have their fun.

.

A class is loud, a class causes chaos.

Students smarter than you'd believe.

The class doesn't seem to stay on task.

But in the end, they pass and have fun.

//

I miss the algebra class. We were the algebra class dudes. Two nonbinary friends, a girl, a boy, and my fluid ass. Don't even get me started on how gay we each are lol (we're all at least a little gay). Our fucking teacher, she has a partner for fucks sake! Why was our class so queer? I'll never know, but my fucking god, we were so entertaining. The highlight of the day. Hopefully, we'll be the pre-cal study group next year...We'll see :')

[calum-hood-could]

I wish I could talk to Calum I have so much going on rn like some real shit.. I want him to talk me down and tell me everything will be okay and I want cuddle with him while he rubs my back.. I don't want him to save me or fix me cause I know I can only do that but I just want him to be there you know.. ugh I'm so fucked

Same tho. He seems like he knows what to say a lot. But you know what love, you don't even need him to feel better about things. You have at least one blogger/blog community that you can talk about your issues with. If it makes y'all more comfortable, I can start really opening up to y'all so we can have group therapy.... I just want the community that is actually loving and mutual to feel that, and that includes youI'm so sorry your feeling fucked like now. Cal loves all of us, and we should all try and love each other instead of spreading negativity.Sending you so so so much love 💕💕💕

[blockheadbrands]

Legalization Dominoes Start Falling (Finally!) in New York

Bruce Barcott & Ben Adlin of Leafly Reports:

The movement for cannabis reform in New York, long stifled by Gov. Andrew Cuomo and NYC Mayor Bill de Blasio, seems to be approaching a point of breakthrough this week.

Earlier today, New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio announced that the New York Police Department (NYPD) will reform its cannabis enforcement policies by mid-June. “We must end unnecessary arrests and end disparity in enforcement,” de Blasio wrote in a mid-morning tweet.

Bill de Blasio✔@NYCMayor

I'm announcing today that the NYPD will overhaul its marijuana enforcement policies in the next 30 days. We must end unnecessary arrests and end disparity in enforcement.

9:36 AM - May 15, 2018

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De Blasio’s announcement came a little more than 48 hours after the New York Times published an investigation that found that black people were arrested on low-level marijuana charges at eight times the rate of white, non-Hispanic people during the past three years. Hispanic residents were arrested at five times the rate of white people. In Manhattan, the Times found, black people were arrested at 15 times the rate of white people.

RELATED STORY This One Chart Captures Everything Wrong With NYC Cannabis Arrests

New Visibility for an Old Problem

While the problem of New York cannabis arrests and their attendant racial disparities has long simmered in the city, developments in the past several months have brought the issue to a full boil.

'The city has proven itself unwilling to end discriminatory marijuana possession policing. The situation is becoming intolerable.'

Rory Lancman, NYC City Council member

On Monday, the day after the Times report landed, the New York Daily News reported that the head of the City Council’s justice committee, Councilman Rory Lancman, had asked New York City’s five district attorneys to stop prosecuting low-level cannabis possession cases entirely.

“The city has proven itself completely unwilling to end discriminatory marijuana possession policing,” Lancman said. “The situation is becoming intolerable.” He asked that misdemeanor charges for consuming cannabis in public be knocked down to simple violations, a move that would treat smoking on the sidewalk more like jaywalking than assault.

RELATED STORY Racial Disparities in NYC Cannabis Arrests Are Getting Worse

Manufacturing Criminal Records

More than a third of the people arrested on low-level cannabis charges last year had no previous criminal record, New York City Police Commissioner James P. O’Neill said at a City Council meeting Monday.

At least two of the city’s DAs are already exploring ways to scale back prosecutions, according to the New York Times.

The Brooklyn district attorney’s office, which decided in 2014 to stop prosecuting many low-level cannabis charges, is weighing an option to expand the policy to include people who consume in public without creating a public nuisance.

Manhattan’s district attorney office, meanwhile, is considering adopting a plan similar to Brooklyn’s and halting the majority of low-level prosecutions in the borough. An official there told the Times that of the more than 5,000 people arrested on low-level cannabis charges in Manhattan last year, about 100 to 200 would be prosecuted under the current plan.

It’s still unclear, the paper reports, how prosecutors in the city’s other bureaus might respond.

Max RN@MaxRivlinNadler

Marijuana possession: Something that's not even a crime in the country's most populous state, but the #1 reason people end up in court in the country's largest city.

2:39 PM - Apr 30, 2018

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Nixon’s Entry Pushed the Issue

Statewide, the entry of Cynthia Nixon into New York’s Democratic primary race for governor has forced current Gov. Andrew Cuomo to rethink his longtime opposition to cannabis legalization. For years, the state’s medical cannabis program has stalled under his watch, and Cuomo has famously opposed full adult legalization.

Over the past few weeks, though, Nixon has used the cannabis issue to highlight the difference between the candidates. In tweet after tweet, the former Sex and the Citystar has hammered on the need to legalize statewide, citing current racial disparities in arrests as well as the economic benefits likely to flow from a regulated market.

RELATED STORY

New York to Nor-Cal: How This NYC Fashion Editor Became a West Coast Cannabis Entrepreneur

‘Already Legal’ for White People

Sunday’s New York Times investigation provided hard evidence to back up something New Yorkers of color have known for decades: White people generally don’t get arrested for cannabis, but people of color do.

The investigation’s chief finding became the headline: “Surest Way to Face Marijuana Charges in New York: Be Black or Hispanic.” Its findings also contradicted a senior police official’s claim that the disparities arose because more residents in predominantly black and Latino neighborhoods were calling to complain about cannabis.

“An analysis by The Times found that fact did not fully explain the racial disparity,” the article notes. “Instead, among neighborhoods where people called about marijuana at the same rate, the police almost always made arrests at a higher rate in the area with more black residents, The Times found.”

A piece published the same day by the Times editorial board put it more bluntly: “Studies have repeatedly shown that people across most racial groups use the drug at comparable rates. But the arrest rates for black and brown citizens are sharply higher than they are for whites—mostly because young men of color attract more scrutiny from the police.”

 RELATED STORY

Is Cannabis Legal in New York City? Well…It’s Complicated

No Public Safety Benefit

These disparities are all the more indefensible because low-level marijuana arrests have no public safety benefit. A 2017 analysis by Harry Levine, a sociology professor at Queens College, debunked the oft-heard claim that petty marijuana arrests get serious offenders off the street, noting that 76 percent of those arrested for marijuana possession during the previous year had never been convicted of any crime.

The editorial likened the city’s handling of cannabis arrests to its stop-and-frisk practice, which a federal judge in 2013 ruled was unconstitutional because it illegally detained and searched minority citizens. “If the city isn’t careful,” the Times wrote, “it could find itself hauled into court again—this time for marijuana arrests.”

Tipping Point

All the action has led cannabis legalization advocates to talk about marijuana legalization reaching a tipping point in New York. The state’s Democratic party is already expected to endorse a plan at the party convention next week to fully legalize adult-use cannabis.

“Ending marijuana prohibition and establishing a system to tax and regulate marijuana for adult use is the smart choice for New York communities,” said Kassandra Frederique, New York state director for the Drug Policy Alliance, “because it will alleviate one of the biggest causes of negative interactions with law enforcement. Legalizing marijuana will also provide an opportunity, due to the revenue it will generate, for the communities that have been most devastated to start to repair the harms of the drug war.”

TO READ MORE OF THIS ARTICLE ON LEAFLY, CLICK HERE.

https://www.leafly.com/news/politics/legalization-dominoes-start-falling-finally-in-new-york