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sequinsmile-x · 4 months ago

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Our Field of Dreams, Engulfed in Fire

She tells herself that she’ll get used to it, that the pain she feels over her friend's happy news will fade, but it only gets worse.

-x-

Hi friends,

This is truly up there with one of the saddest things I think I've ever written, so please take heed of the tags/warnings.

As always, please let me know what you think <3

-x-

Words: 4k

Warnings: pregnancy, miscarriage, stillbirth

Read over on Ao3, or below the cut

She laughs as her husband shepherds her into the conference room, his eyebrow raised as he passes her a cup of coffee as she sits down, her eyes narrowed when she eyes him playfully, “What are we doing in here? I have work to do upstairs you know.”

“I don’t know,” he replies, sitting next to her, “JJ called the meeting. I’m sure Counterterrorism can live without their Unit Chief for 30 minutes.”

She rolls her eyes and sips her coffee, “I’ll remind you that you said that next time I try and steal you away for lunch.”

She’d moved departments just before they let everyone know about their relationship, not wanting any technicalities or rules to get in the way of them being happy and together. Aaron had asked her several times if she was sure, as if he was forcing her out of her job, and she’d assured him she was more than sure. A change had been what she’d needed, her desire to pretend everything was as it always had been when she came back from Paris wearing thin. She’d worked her way up in Counterterrorism quickly and often made fun of her husband for the fact she’d made it to his level so fast, a quip that he was clearly the troublemaker out of the two of them always on the tip of her tongue.

Any response he may have, his smile full of mirth as he looks at her, is cut off as the rest of the team filters in all together, JJ rounding them up before she pulls the door closed behind them, nervous excitement written all over her face.

“What’s going on, JJ?” Derek asks, sinking into a chair on Emily’s other side, “Can’t be work-related if Mrs Hotch is here.”

Emily rolls her eyes, shaking her head as he hides his smirk behind his mug, “How many times do I have to tell you not to call me that?”

“Always at least once more, Princess,” he says, winking at her, and she can’t fight her smile. JJ clears her throat and they all look at her, her amused smile tinged with an edge of nervousness, “Sorry JJ.”

“It’s okay,” she says, “I wanted to tell you all something and it’s almost impossible to get us all into one room these days.”

Penelope sits forward, “We’re all listening.”

Emily watches her friend carefully, the way she smiles widely, how her hand twitches at her side, almost touching her lower belly before she stops herself. Emily feels the ground beneath her disappear, her stomach rolling as she realises what her friend is about to say. It’s like her senses disappear all at once, the happiness and lightheartedness she’d been feeling just moments ago long gone as she reaches for the small pendant around her neck, a disc with an E carved delicately into it that Aaron had bought her close to two years ago now. She presses her thumb against it, feels the curve of the letter pressing into her skin, the sensation something she focuses on as JJ’s announcement rings around them.

“I’m pregnant!”

She’s grateful no one is paying attention to her, because the joyful cheer from their friends makes her jump, the sound of it drawing her back into herself as she looks around the room. Aaron is still next to her, his hand now on her thigh, and she looks at him, their eyes only briefly meeting before she looks away, sure she’d fall apart if she let him look at her too long.

She forces herself up, grateful for once for her upbringing, that she’d been taught the language of good manners before anything else when she was young. She congratulates her friend, hoping she doesn’t see past her smile that was only half fake, her genuine happiness for JJ clouded by the grief she could never quite pull herself away from.

No one knows. She has to remind herself of it, that no one knew, that it was her decision that they didn’t, and it’s the only thing that keeps her in one piece. She manages to stay in the conference room for 10 minutes until she feels like she could drown in the happiness, the taste of it bitter as it washes into her lungs, and she excuses herself, hugging JJ one more time before she leaves.

She knows Aaron will follow her so she doesn’t go far, sneaking into his office and sinking onto the couch as she waits for him, her eyes fixed on the floor. She isn’t there long before she hears his footsteps followed by the sound of the door to his office closing. He joins her on the couch and he purposely keeps a distance from her, always keen to make sure he takes her lead.

“Em-”

“Don’t. Please,” she says, shaking her head, her gaze still fixed on the ground, “I just need a minute,” she begs and she’s grateful when he obliges, the room silent other than the clock on the wall. She reaches for his hand and squeezes it, grateful for the press of his ring against her skin, a reminder that no matter what she’d lost she still had this. “I wasn’t expecting that to…” she chokes on a sound somewhere between a sob and a laugh, “That felt like a gut punch.”

“I know,” he says, lifting their joint hands to kiss her knuckles, “Same for me.”

She turns to look at him, not surprised to find his eyes shining with tears too, “It’s been nearly two years. I thought…I don’t know what I thought.”

The grief of it, of the babies she’d lost, that she’d never get to know, was something she was strangely used to. An old friend that lingered in every corner and had a seat at every table. A part of their daily lives she thought she had built herself back up around, but this had pulled the rug from under her, her friend's happy news leaving her unsteady.

They’d tried for a baby for a long time. When she fell pregnant the first time, a sense of finally in the air around her as the test she was staring at had two lines on it for once, she’d felt nothing but happiness. It had been short-lived, a moment of joy brought to an end by familiar cramping in her back and bleeding that stained her thighs. She still remembered the look on the doctor’s face, a strange type of kindness in her smile as she told them they could try again.

They did, and the second time she fell pregnant quicker, something she tried to tell herself was a sign things were going to work out this time. Her anxiety had lingered, all the fears she couldn’t outrun from losing her first baby still in the back of her mind, but as she entered her second trimester she relaxed. It was something she now cursed herself for, anger that she’d let herself believe she was finally going to have everything she’d ever wanted the very thing that made what was to come even more painful.

No one knew she was pregnant either time, only Aaron and her doctor, and when she had nothing to show for either of them except for a broken heart and a box full of ultrasound pictures and tests with faded lines, she was grateful for it. Aaron had tried to encourage her at first to talk to someone else if she wanted to, but she’d only ever wanted to talk to him. To share it with someone who understood, and who already shared in the loss. The thought of having sympathy and well-meaning but empty words from other people enough to make her want to scream.

“Want to talk about it?”

She shakes her head, “Not here,” she says, smiling tightly at him, “Otherwise I think I’ll start crying and never stop.”

He nods in understanding, “Later? I can ask Jess to take Jack. We can sit in bed and cry whilst we eat all the candy from the pantry.”

She laughs, the sound wet and thick as it catches in her chest, “You know me so well.”

“You’re my wife,” he says, reaching out and tucking some of her hair behind her ear, letting his fingers linger on her cheek, wiping away a tear he otherwise doesn’t acknowledge, “If I didn’t know you it would be pretty sad.”

___

She tells herself that she’ll get used to it, that the pain she feels over her friend's happy news will fade, but it only gets worse. JJ stops trying to hide it now she’s told them, the clothes she now wears to the office show off her small bump, her smile wide and happy whenever someone congratulates her. Emily talks about to Aaron about it and decides she needs to talk to JJ, to give her some context on why she was suddenly avoiding her, and why she’d come up with an excuse that sounded lame even to her ears when Penelope mentioned a baby shower.

When she’s standing on JJ’s porch less than two weeks after her announcement in the conference room, Emily doubts herself. A moment of anxiety flaring in her gut before she forces herself to ring the bell, bravery she knows is fake washing over her as she waits for someone to answer the door. She paints a smile on her face when JJ pulls the door open, her surprise obvious as she finds Emily standing on the other side of it.

“Emily,” she says, standing back to let her in, “I wasn’t expecting to see you.”

“I wanted to talk to you about something,” she replies, her gaze drifting to JJ’s stomach, the t-shirt she’s wearing gathering around her small bump. Emily forces herself to look away, sadness and envy and so many emotions she isn’t proud of burning in her chest, “If that’s okay.”

“Of course,” JJ replies, furrowing her brow as she leads Emily towards the living room, “Will is on bedtime duty tonight so you’re not interrupting anything. Do you want a drink?”

Emily shakes her head, “No, that’s okay.” She sits down on the couch and waits for JJ to join her, but when she opens her mouth no words come out, everything she’d rehearsed on the drive over stuck somewhere in her throat, threatening to choke her as she tries to figure out how to talk about something she’d only ever discussed with her husband.

“Are you okay?” JJ asks, beating her to it, “You haven’t been acting like yourself lately.”

Emily chokes on a laugh at that, unsure when she had last been herself. She felt adrift these days. Aaron and Jack and her routine the only things that kept her above water. She clasps her hands in her lap, putting more pressure on her own knuckles than necessary so she can feel something, anything, other than the empty ache low in her belly, “I…I don’t know where to start.”

“Wherever feels right,” JJ says, her voice so kind it makes Emily want to scream, everything she’d been suppressing for days just below the surface.

She nods and sighs, “A few years ago, just after Aaron and I got married, I was pregnant,” she says, clearing her throat when her voice catches on the word that makes JJ’s face fall, “Twice actually,” she hates the silence as JJ stares at her, so she carries on, “And I lost both of them.”

It’s an unnecessary addition, she knows that. JJ knows she doesn’t have any children other than Jack, and Emily wonders if her friend is replaying interactions they’d had together and as a group from the last few years. How Emily’s smile and shoulders would tighten if one of the team mentioned little Hotchner babies, how Aaron would throw daggers at anyone who brought it up. Emily had always assumed they thought she either couldn’t have kids or had chosen not to, their curiosity slowly petering off as the years drifted by. Their friend's thoughts of them having more children disappearing, the hope and possibilities nothing more than flecks of dust in the wind.

“Oh, Em,” JJ says, her voice hollow, like all the joy had been mined out of it, empathy rushing into it’s place like flood water that Emily does her best to ignore. “Em, I’m so sorry. You never said anything.”

“We…I mostly, decided we didn’t want to,” she says, “The first time we knew for a handful of weeks,” she smiles wistfully as she thinks of it, of a time of innocence she’d burn the world down to get back, “But then I lost it, I was about 8 weeks along. We told everyone we had the flu and took a week off work. The second time I was almost 18 weeks along,” she says, ignoring the shake in her voice and the gasp JJ can’t hold back. Emily is glad she’s sitting down, that she can’t be physically knocked off her feet by the wave of grief that threatens to take her under, “We were waiting until I hit 20 weeks to tell anyone. I woke up in pain and I was bleeding…and I just knew before the doctor even spoke to us.”

“How did you keep it a secret?” JJ asks, her curiosity winning out as she finally speaks, and Emily shrugs half-heartedly.

“It was winter and baggy sweaters hide a lot,” she sighs, “When I…after I had the baby we took time off work again. Close to a month that time. I can’t even really remember what Aaron said we were doing. We went to Europe for a little while. I don’t remember much about it.”

“He told us you both had leave Strauss was making you use,” JJ says, filling in a gap for her that she’d never quite been able to ask Aaron to fill, aware that she’d let him deal with a lot of the practicalities during that time, his own grief at their loss pushed down in favour of looking after her.

“Afterwards, my OBGYN said she thinks the losses were because of my injuries from Ian. I had no issue getting pregnant, but staying pregnant until viability seemed unlikely. We decided to stop trying then,” she sucks in a breath, the air burning her lungs, “I couldn’t go through that again,” she laughs bitterly, the sound strange and wrong but she can’t help it, the thought she’d never been able to entirely shake off chasing it out of her chest, “I can see the irony in it. I took Ian’s son from him and he took mine from me.”

“You had a boy?” JJ asks, her gaze a mix of shocked and sad that makes Emily’s stomach twist, a strange sense of anger she knows her friend doesn’t deserve rolling in her gut.

“Yeah,” she replies, “I had a boy.” She looks down at her hands, her focus on her wedding rings as she twists them back and forth, “Sometimes…sometimes I feel guilty that we’ve never told anyone else about him. But most of the time I’m glad we didn’t,” she looks up at JJ, her smile tight as she sees the devastation on her friend’s face. She doesn’t reach out, doesn’t try and comfort her, finding no room in her chest to take on someone else's emotions about it, “It makes him just ours, you know? Mine and Aaron’s,” she wipes a stray tear from her cheek, pushing it away with the heel of her hand as she turns away for just a second, “He’s just ours.”

“What was his name?” JJ asks, the question slipping free before she thinks about it, her eyes going wide as Emily looks up at her in surprise, “You don’t have to-”

“Elliot,” Emily says, smiling as she says her son's name. A name she’d never call out in a park or hear as he crossed a stage at graduation, but she could say it here, her smile soft and sad as she grips the disc-shaped charm on her necklace, her thumb pressed against the engraved E. “We called him Elliot,” she feels her smile tremble as she looks away from her friend, the empathy in JJ’s eyes almost too much for her to bear, “Thank you for asking.”

“Thank you for telling me,” JJ replies, resisting the urge to press her hand against her small bump, desperate not to draw attention to the very thing that had started this conversation in the first place, “Elliot’s a lovely name.”

Emily sighs, the breath catching on all her ribs on the way out, the space in her chest that was left empty the day she lost her son aching in a way she knows would never go away, nor would she want it to. It was one of the few reminders she had that he’d existed. A hollowed-out part of her that would always be that way but that she’d learnt to live with.

“I just wanted to tell you why…” she closes her eyes and shakes her head, her tongue peeking out to lick at her lower lip, “Why I’ll struggle to be involved with parts of this,” she swallows thickly, “Maybe all of it. And I’m so sorry-”

“No, Em,” JJ says, finally closing the gap between them and reaching for Emily’s hand, squeezing it tightly as she encourages her to look at her, “You have nothing to apologise for. Thank you for telling me. I won’t tell anyone, not even Will, if you don’t want me to. If I had known, I would have told you separately, not in front of everyone.”

“Thank you, and I know you would have. I guess I didn’t realise how much something like this would impact me until it happened. I am sorry though,” she squeezes JJ’s hand, “I’m sorry that I can’t be a better friend for a while.”

JJ pulls her into a hug, careful to make sure she doesn’t press her bump against her, desperate to make sure she doesn’t upset her friend any more than she needs to, “No matter what, you’re still one of the best friend’s I’ve ever had, okay?”

Emily laughs humourlessly and pulls back, “Okay,” she smiles tightly, her gaze drifting to the pile of toys in the corner, brightly coloured bits of plastic she’d only ever bought for her friend’s children, and she blows out a shaky breath, “I should go home, Aaron will be waiting for me.”

They exchange hugs and goodbyes, both of them aware this would be the last time they’d be together like this for a while. Something that weighed heavily on both of them, but was the right decision, neither one of them wanting to hurt the other with things out of their control. Emily texts Aaron to say she’s on her way back, and she’s proud of herself for making it back to her car before she bursts into tears.

___

He’s waiting for her when she gets home, the house silent apart from the quiet of the TV that he switches off the moment he hears the front door open and close. She slips off her jacket and her boots and walks into the living room, her shaking smile doing nothing to distract him from her red eyes and puffy face.

Aaron lays down, already knowing what she needs, and she crawls on top of him, wedged partially between him and the back of the couch as she presses her cheek on his chest, the sound of his heartbeat a comfort she’d never get enough of. He wraps his arms around her and one of his hands cups the back of her head, holding her in place as if anything could pull her away from him.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He asks, his hand running up and down her back, the other still tangled in her hair, “Or do you just want to lay here.”

She knew that what they’d gone through could have easily broken them apart. Both of them so weighed down by grief, so busy drowning in it, that they could have forgotten to reach for each other. But he’d been her rock, and somehow she’d found it in herself to be his. They’d held on tight and weathered the storm and come out stronger, her love for him now ten times what it was when she married him, something she would have at the time said was impossible.

“She understood. I..I told her about Elliot,” she says, instead of answering “I didn’t know if I would but I did,” she feels him hold her even tighter, his kiss against her forehead firm, “It felt nice talking about him.”

He kisses the top of her head again, “It always does,” he says, scratching at her scalp, something he’d done for her since those long nights at the start when she’d cried herself to sleep, “How does it feel to have told your best friend?”

She smiles sadly and shifts so her chin is resting on his chest so she’s looking at him, “You’re my best friend,” she says softly, reaching out to run her fingers through his hair, “So my best friend has always known.”

He turns his head and kisses her palm, “You’re my best friend too, sweetheart,” he kisses her palm again, “I’d ask how you’re feeling, but I guess that’s a stupid question.”

She shakes her head at him, “Never stupid,” she says, her smile tinged with sadness, “It’s strange to think in another life we’d have an almost two-year-old.”

It was a thought she could never outrun. A ghost of another life walking in tandem with her, forever tapping her on the shoulder and reminding her of what she’d lost, as if she could forget even for a second, whenever she saw a little boy who would be around Elliot’s age. A child’s loud laughter in public that would stop her in her tracks and remind her she’d never know her own son’s laugh or even his cry. A gap in her knowledge of him that could never be filled, the possibilities of what he could have been neverending.

“I think about that too,” he says, tucking some of her hair behind her ear, “I wonder what he’d be into. What gift we’d get him for his birthday and what theme the cake Penelope would make for him would have.”

She laughs, the sound weak and sad as it settles into her hollowed out chest, “When I picture him, I just see a tiny version of you. Right down to his eyes.”

“I always imagine him with yours.”

It’s a conversation they’d had countless times since the day they met and lost their son, and one she knows they’ll have for the rest of their lives. The what could have beens and what should have beens as painful as they were happy. Wistful and full of sorrow, as deep and full of unknowns as the sea.

“I wish things could have been different,” she says, not even attempting to stop her tears, smiling shakily at Aaron as he immediately wipes them away, “I…” she drifts off, not sure that she could ever put it into words, and he nods, encouraging her closer so she can press her face into his neck, his tears splashing into her hair.

“I know, sweetheart,” he says, because he did, he understood the loss because it was something they shared, something that was theirs, “I know.”

“I’ll always remember what the nurse said,” she whispers, thinking of the kind woman who’d looked after them before they were sent home with a memory box they kept safe in their bedroom, “Clara. She told me that he’d only ever known love and warmth. That this world hadn’t had a chance to hurt him and never would,” she sucks in a breath and reaches for his hand, linking their fingers together, “I like to think that’s true.”

He rests his cheek against the top of her head, damp with the tears he’d shed, and he holds her close, providing her with an anchor as he uses her just the same.

“Me too sweetheart,” he whispers, “Me too.”

#aaron hotchner #hotchniss fanfic #aaron hotchner fanfiction #emily prentiss #hotchniss fan fic #aaron hotchner x emily prentiss #emily prentiss fanfiction #hotchniss fanfiction #aaron x emily #hotchniss

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seedsofagony · 3 months ago

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Screen Time (KnY ♡ Kyojuro)

Cherrytober Day 17: Sex on the Beach // Masturbation

Series: Kimetsu no Yaiba

Characters: Rengoku Kyojuro

Word Count: 542

Summary: modern au, x reader (f), watching "porn" together, clothes stay on, light audio kink (Kyojuro), masturbating/fingering (reader receiving), spooning (nonsexual, sexual), unprotected sex, no pregnancy

Notes: Netflix and chill ⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅

Disclaimer: Underage, ageless, and blank blogs will be blocked. For everyone 18+, FUB free or filter my unique tag for this event: #sweets🍒24

Just when you'd given up on the weird French film Kyojuro picked for movie night, the actors' clothes started coming off. Until now, it had been artsy camera shots and sparse dialogue, lots of cigarettes and brooding, but suddenly, things were starting to get interesting—at least they were off-screen.

Lying on the sofa, snuggled under a blanket in your oversized loungewear, you feel the curve of Kyojuro's erection rise against the small of your back.

"So, this is what you're into," you grin. "Dirty foreign films."

On screen, the actress starts moaning. You glance at the TV—seriously, though, what had possessed Kyojuro to pick this movie in the first place? It had to be the title—something about Flames and Passion? Probably not at all what he was expecting…

"Actually, I was imagining–"

You half-turn to look back at him, raising a brow. "Oh? Just what were you imagining?"

"I was imagining you sounding like that for me."

The actress makes an exaggerated moan, full-frontal nudity filling the screen—very male gaze. It's almost funny, except for Kyojuro's blunt honesty. His hand moves from resting on your hip to reaching down the front of your very unglamorous sweatpants.

"So you are into this," you tease, but your words have no teeth. Instead, you find yourself parting your legs for his as his fingers seek out your clit.

"I'm into you," he murmurs, nose buried in your hair.

A hot flush burns in your cheeks—how can he just say stuff like that, completely serious? But that's Kyojuro. Everything he says, he means it with his whole heart. He absolutely wants to hear you moan.

Closing your eyes, the movie soundtrack playing in your ears, you savor his warm touch. He gently pinches the sides of your clit, plucking at it to make it swell. You hum as he presses two fingertips to you, drawing slow circles on your bud.

Reaching down further, Kyojuro slips his fingers along your slit, dipping them just inside your entrance before plunging in. You do moan this time, and his erection throbs against you. Hooking his fingers, he massages your front wall, a satisfying squelch coming from between your legs.

The movie flickers against your eyelids—opening your eyes, you watch it in a daze, only dimly aware of what's playing on the screen. All you can think about is the insistent pressure of his clever fingers and how close you are to getting off.

Suddenly, Kyojuro grinds his cock between your cheeks, pinning you between his bulging erection and the come-hither strokes of his fingers. His lips are against your neck, brushing over your ear.

"I wanna hear you cum…"

It's too much—the pressure mounting between your legs, those honest words spoken in that husky voice. You cry out, high and breathy, almost a whine, as your core spasms hard around his soaked fingers.

Kyojuro answers your cry with a groan. Withdrawing his hand, there's a rustling of clothes behind you. He pulls down the back of your sweatpants and you whimper as he pushes himself inside your ready hole. After that, you have no idea what's going on in the movie, and you couldn't care less as Kyojuro grips your hips, rutting into you sideways through the ending credits.

#cherrytober2024 #kimetsu no yaiba x reader #demon slayer x reader #rengoku kyojuro #kny rengoku #kny kyojuro #rengoku kyojuro x reader #kny smut #spoiler free #sweets stories #sweets🍒24

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typicalopposite · 13 hours ago

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Ok so I was tagged quite a few times for this — thank all you lovelies so so much @bangpop91 @nine-one-wanton @judymarch15 @xtarmanderx @quintessenceofdust88 🫶— and now have quite a few words 🫣

Rules! Share one sentence or excerpt from your wip(s) that starts with each letter of your word!

Five words — WIPS I’m using will be Amnesia Fic (Take Me Back) and Racing Fic (Victory Lane)! They have the most written that hasn’t been shared yet!

@bangpop91 gave me - GHOST - WIP is Racing Fic

G - “Go on then,” she continues, shoving his arm. “We have places to do, and things to be!” That gets her a genuine laugh from Evan, and Tommy is thankful at least this part of the trip is enjoyable.

H - His Aunt Cassie; whom he hasn’t spoken to since Christmas— when she called to fill him in on the current drama going on in their families personal lives. She is the only family member he even still speaks to. The latest dose of gossip was that his dad had been diagnosed with stage four lung cancer– nearly fifty years of smoking non filtered cigarettes will do that to you.

O - “Oh honestly, Ellie! What are you afraid he’ll find? Money hidden in the walls?” Aunt Cassie laughs at herself. “Any money Tom had went into alcohol, and Camels…” She pushes her seat back before Aunt Elise, or any of the other siblings can speak, tugging at Tommy’s arm as she gets up. “So I suggest you leave us a key hidden, or if it’s really that big of a deal be there around say… five o clock.”

S - Sure enough it’s still where he left it, under a tattered dusty old tarp. He grabs a handful and swiftly pulls it off, revealing the wrecked remains of his race car— a long since forgotten (more like repressed…) memory; a piece of his past that holds perhaps the most joy, but also the most pain…

T - Tommy turns around to look where Evan’s now pointing. His dads work bench, covered in junk and trash and boxes, and on one of the shelves… next to some empty beer bottle and a can filled with screws is a framed 8x10 of Tommy, a trophy held in front of him and a big smile missing his two front teeth. The words Victory Lane written on a banner behind him— his very first race and very first win. “Yeah… that was me.”

@nine-one-wanton gave me - CHAIR - WIP is Amnesia Fic

C - “Cheesy, I know… but it was sort of thrown together last minute, so…”

Tommy feels the sting of tears in his eyes, regardless. “I appreciate it, Howie… really.”

H - He crosses his arms, tucking his hands, and squints at Tommy, so confused. “It’s just— You really don’t remember any of it?”

Tommy stiffens his jaw and forces a smile. “I really don’t…” he says with a slight shake of his head. Howie’s confusion melts away and he looks so sorry.

A - “A weekend at a ski resort up in Northern California.” He laughs harder when Tommy’s jaw nearly falls onto the counter. “Yeah I figured you and Buck could use a getaway… I had booked it for me Maddie and Jee but with the pregnancy—”

“Pregnancy?!”

“Jesus Christ,” Howie covers his face and groans. “I am so sorry, man! This is—”

“Confusing?” Tommy can’t help but laugh.

I - “I’m so happy for you,” Tommy says, patting Howie on the shoulder. They fall back into an awkward silence and Tommy has to make it worse by asking if Evan still went to the resort.

Howie’s demeanor shifts. He quietly slides his phone back into his pocket and nods. “Yeah. He— he did. I told him to take Eddie… or, hell anyone. But he insisted on going alone, and well…” He shifts uncomfortably, avoiding Tommy’s eyes. “That’s how he met Dylan…”

R - Regardless of the new blanks it created.

@judymarch15 gave me - BOOBS 💀- WIP is Racing Fic

B - Back when Thomas Sr.’s only fault was he worked too many overtime hours and didn’t get home until the early morning hours of Christmas morning.

O - “Oh and I have been waiting a hot minute to meet you!” Evan smiles bashfully, quick to also lean in for a hug. She rubs her hand over Evan’s back and then lets him go, taking one of both of their hands.

O - Once she was gone she took all the happiness held desperately within the walls with her— or, well, almost all of it. For a while… Tommy still had one thing. But eventually he lost that, too.

B - But he searched the stands anyway.

He saw Aunt Cassie…

Tyler wasn’t even there.

He tried to not care. He told himself he would impress this sponsor, get his foot in the door to a big time racing career…

S - Seven years. He gave the army seven years of his life. He traded his racing license for a pilots license and found a love in the air that mimicked the love he had out on a racetrack. He owed them three more years before he could get out; but a rescue mission that ended with the factory his platoon was searching exploding, sent him home early.

@xtarmanderx game me - OCEAN - WIP is Amnesia Fic

O - Over by the helicopter he sees Lucy watching him, and uses it as an excuse to make his departure without looking like he is running away.

C - “Can I help you?” he asks, raising a brow towards Eddie and Howie. They look at each other then back at Tommy, both wearing faces just smug enough it’s clear they think they know something important.

E - Eddie’s eyes soften. He looks up to Howie and sighs. For a moment Tommy thinks they are going to say something bad about the guy– it’s selfish and wrong… but he kind of is hoping for it. “He’s great, actually…” Howie finally says. “He’s no you… but I doubt Buck will ever find someone that will treat him the way that you did.” Tommy flinches at that, regardless of knowing what Howie meant. “Shit– No… that’s not what I–”

A - “Are you baking something?” Tommy asks, pushing down the smile wanting to surface at the image of Evan in his apron, covered in flour (preferably without a certain significant other clinging to him).

N - “Not that I mind talking to you, of course,” he adds because, well it’s the truth.

“Oh, r- right. Um… Well Chim was trying to get a head count for Thursday and well you— you haven’t…” he trails off again, then hisses in pain and Tommy is already halfway across his living room towards his keys. “S- Sorry,” Evan manages through a clearly clenched jaw. “It’s just my shoulder… it— it’s bothering me...”

“The one you hurt the other day?”

He hears Evan laugh. “Yeah, the— the cursed one… It’s fine.”

“Evan…”

“I’m fine…”

@quintessenceofdust88 gave me - BLUE (which will be Red because I already used Blue 😂) - WIP is Racing Fic

B - “Best decision I’ve ever made,” he says softly.

Tears prickle at the corners of Buck’s eyes and he leans in for another kiss. In hindsight, he can be upset at the chain of events that drove Tommy out of his hometown, but he can’t be too upset they drove him all the way out to LA; to him.

L - “Lightning McJee, the protégé of the great Tommy Thunder!” Chimney quips and Buck has to bite his lips to not make a noise at that. He peeks up to see if Tommy is glaring at him… and he is. He blows him a kiss and flips the hamburgers.

U - “Uh…” He looks innocently at Tommy and bats his eyes. “Would you believe me if I said it’s about taxes?” Tommy’s hooded eyes give him his answer, and he laughs nervously. “Well… what if I say it’s a surprise… so you just have to wait and see.”

E - “Evan!” Tommy calls from the living room. Buck is busying himself baking the last of a batch of cookies, and stirring some box-made dirty rice– he is disgusted with himself for it, but he did not have time to perfect a homemade recipe…

Sweet baby Jesus! That was a lot!

Tagging: @30somethingautisticteacher @sunnywithachanceofbi @herrmannhalsteadproduction @mmso-notlikethat @rosyhoneydew

@somethingaboutfirefly @silversky9 @littlepaws9 @hyperfocusthusly @beanarie

@kinardsevan @cafe-con-letty @leashybebes @piratefalls @onthewaytosomewhere

Your word: IMPULSIVE 🫶 like our fave lil buddy!

#bucktommy #tommy kinard #evan buckley #my wips #tag game

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southern-belle-outcasts · 8 months ago

Text

SHIPPING INFO:// Answer the following for your muse(s) so people know how shipping works on your blog

REPOST. DON'T REBLOG

(Including Remy in this for the sake of simplicity)

What’s your OTP for your Muse(s)?

I don't have many because I'm a multishipper. For like, fandom, non-rp content, you have R.omy and A.nidala. That's it. A better question is notp and that's r.ogueneto, I will not be writing it, I filter it to keep it off my dash. But there's all kinds of options for shipping with my muses because I don't have a 'i will only write this one ship' for any one character.

What are you willing to RP when it comes to shipping?

A lot. It really just depends on how comfy I am with the mun and how much we've developed our muses' relationship. Sometimes the muns I've known for a while can just chuck new ideas at me and we just go head first without development but that's a case by case kind of deal. Brakes start pumping for pregnancy stuff mainly because I don't do fetish content for free, that's a paid service you will not find here- long time partners only. Cheating is a nope, just have no desire to write it. I don't mind other toxic situations, or messy open situationships, but flat out cheating just rubs me wrong. And nothing involving a.b.o. Just, no thank you.

How large does the age gap have to be to make it uncomfortable?

I ship r.ogan, so clearly age gaps don't bother me lmao. It's more power dynamics, and it's all fake anyways, just depends on the situation. Most of the muses aren't going for anyone much younger than them anyways, it's more older where they might raise eyebrows.

Are you selective when shipping?

A little bit yes, a little bit no? So I do like my ships of all types, not just romantic, but the ones that tend to the more steamy I am most comfy with established with for a variety of reasons. That's not to say sometimes I can't plot for more specific ship types early on with the right person, it just very much depends. Like, Sara/Warren with @wingedwarren was literally started off by a smut meme out the gate. I have never claimed there aren't exceptions they are just Rare AF and Highly Conditional.

How far do steamy moments have to go before they’re considered NSFW?

I tag consertatively. Meaning if someone's boss or mom were to peep over their shoulder and might be scandalized, I've probably already tagged it as 'nsfw ish' unless we're talking Prude of the Year levels. Usually once things underneath clothes are being given attention, whether or not said clothes have hit the floor. I don't use the rating toggle because it can shadowban your blog and/or make it impossible to cut the thread. But I do tag.

Who are other muses you ship your muse with?

Oh dear. There's so many. If I missed someone I swear it wasn't on purpose. These are all the ships be it familial, friend, hate, romantic, we don't fucking know yet cuz we're still writing it out, you name it. There is no rhyme or reason to the order so do not read into any of that.

Rogue- @meretrixious, @ifyoucatchacriminal, @suffcring, @iomadachd, @revenantinflames, @thefastestaround, @bothsidesofaquestion, @fatummortem

Gabriel- @nacreousxhearts

Sara- @wingedwarren, @meretrixious, @shizumaikushima

Cisco- @brooklynislandgirl, @meretrixious, @morgansmornings

Farrar- @nacreousxhearts, @iomadachd

Nilza- @iomadachd, @suffcring, @meretrixious, @kylo-wrecked, @bothsidesofaquestion, @brooklynislandgirl, @astral-athame, @halliwellauto

Harry- @reallifejedi, @brooklynislandgirl

Kaylee- @nacreousxhearts, @meretrixous, @arthurthefaceless

Padmé- @mynameisanakin, @brooklynislandgirl

Remy- @brooklynislandgirl, @ifyoucatchacriminal, @nacreousxhearts, @abrushwithdeath, @fatummortem, @bothsidesofaquestion, @down-home-charm, @suffcring

Does one have to ask to ship with you?

At least with a small check-in. A fast way to get blocked is start reblogging my fc posts 'xyz's girlfriend' before we've ever started a thread (yes that's happened in the past).

How often do you like to ship?

Shrug, -waves vaguely at the replies that occasionally grace the dash-

Are you multiship?

I am the captain of an armada, and the ships do not ever cross paths unless there's a lot of chit chat between all muns. Which apart from Armin and some other xpeople has been...never. Namely because once I do a three mun polycule ship, someone blows it up. I've learned it's best not to lmao.

Are you ship obsessed or ship more-or-less?

More-or-less. I’m here for juicy writing of all types. {<-stolen}

What is your favorite ship in your current fandom?

Uh...most of my ships are crossover or oc. Current implies I would ever leave X-Men, which...no. Obvs r.omy. I don't much engage with the a.rrowverse fandom anymore. D.resden files would probably be Susan/Harry. That's about it for canon stuff. If this question meant rp stuff, I don't feel like listing favorites there.

Finally, how does one ship with you?

Send memes, signal flares, a chancla. Some amount of ooc chitchat is usually helpful (by that i mean about the muses, if there's one thing I don't like doing it's delving into the question "how are you" from someone i barely know cuz it's usually uh...well...it's my life)

tagged by: Taken from @kylo-wrecked and there was probably many others at the time but it's been a minute

tagging: be gay, do crime

#;out of the south #;dash games #;psa

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kneelingshadowsalome · 1 year ago

Note

I know you’re on a König streak but I just wanted to bring it back to Simon and Sarah for a bit… esp the little detail about them having a baby?????… how did Simon handle the pregnancy????

Tbh haha I feel a bit bad for people who follow this blog for other than König related content 🧍‍♀️ And I wish to remind you dear souls that you can always hide and filter the yandere König tag!

As for Sarah & Simon ❤️❤️‍🩹❤️

CW: miscarriage, hurt/comfort, fluff

It takes a while for Sarah to get pregnant. Almost six months – which is not unheard of because most couples their age have to try at least one year before any fertility treatments would even be considered. It’s still a blow for Sarah, who is far too optimistic with their chances. She’s a healthy, athletic woman and eats her greens, and anyone can see Simon is virile like a bull, right?

So when her period still arrives month after month, Simon has to give her a reality check. And then when she does get pregnant, there’s a miscarriage almost right away.

It devastates her. It happens at home, and happens at such an early stage that some people wouldn’t even notice it. But for Sarah, it’s the end of the world momentarily. She has waited for so long, she has done everything right. There’s no reason for this to happen, so now she’s sure it’s her fault simply because she stressed too much about getting pregnant.

Simon finds her sobbing on the shower floor, leaning against the wall, head between her hands, water and tears and hollow pain circling down the drain. He doesn’t even take his clothes off as he walks there under the shower to be with her. He knows Sarah is not like him at all when it comes to pain: she doesn’t want to be alone even if she crawls some place quiet to lick her wounds.

She has a good cry there in his arms, and of course he’s sad too. But he knew it wouldn’t be easy – nothing in life is, and even if he would never blame Sarah for having hope, Simon doesn’t trust life all that much… which is why he actually stays strong when things fall to ruin.

To him, the situation is not even remotely close to a ruin, however. It’s a minor setback at best.

"I know you don’t feel like it right now, but we’ll get past this. We’ll try again," he says to her while cradling her in his arms. "We’ll try again, dove."

And Simon has an amazing talent for setting things right even if everything’s gone straight to hell. He sees what’s still left, even if it’s the last bullet in the barrel. In this case, they have a lot more than that: they have a hundred new chances, a thousand new tomorrows.

Sarah's optimism is gone the second time she gets pregnant, which is perhaps a good thing in the end because this time, she doesn’t stress so much. Everything goes nice and well, and they go to their first ultrasound. That’s the first spark of hope reborn, and when another month passes by and everything still goes smoothly, Simon feels brave enough to buy some supplies.

It’s a surprise for Sarah when he comes home with a pram and a few other things. The realization starts to sink in – they’re having a baby.

"Is this really happening?" She whispers to him while running a hand over the freshly bought baby carriage. “Sure looks like it,” he says, watching Sarah caress what he just brought home. He's having so many mixed feelings.

Simon carries the emotional weight of Sarah’s worries during the pregnancy, so much so that he has no time to even think about the swell of emotion that’s roiling inside him.

He's decided he’ll deal with every issue as they arise. There’s no time to stop and feel emotions. In some way, he even thinks there’s no need to feel them. The decision has already been made: they’re going to have a baby and he’s going to be a father. End of story.

(In truth, he’s feeling like he’s doing a bungee jump that never ends.)

Besides, he’s having it easy here: it’s Sarah who has to carry the child for nine months and suffer all the things that come with it. He can’t even think about the baby yet, all he can think about is how to soothe Sarah.

"Will I still be your dove after this?" Sarah asks one night when neither of them can sleep because the pains in her back keep her up all night. For her, it's quite annoying because she was supposed to be in a good shape.

Simon treats these occasions as "free training" of what’s about to come: that is, sleepless nights and a person demanding his attention and devotion. (He, all in all, takes a soldier's attitude to the pregnancy: it’s a mission he has to accomplish with tact and grace.)

"You’ll always be my dove," he assures. He gives her gentle back rubs, rubs her feet, too. Brings her whatever she wants, whether it be pickles or croissants or banana yogurt (Sarah’s food cravings are rich and various)

Toward the end of the pregnancy, they get into an argument about the name. Sarah already decided it long ago, but she’s having second thoughts about it and wants Simon to pick a name. (Oh and btw it’s a girl they’re having!)

Simon is a bit confused – first, he has barely any say in the name and now she’s not having it that he won’t pick one. He doesn’t understand why Sarah gets so riled up when he doesn’t have a name to give right off the top of his head. They’ve never had an argument this bad save for the time when they were still dating and he left during a fight. Sarah accuses him of not even wanting the baby because it will tie him down even more. It turns out she has had this fear ever since they started trying to conceive.

"Hey. Hey." He comes to hug her as she’s on the verge of tears. It’s kind of a talent really, for Sarah to be able to disguise her true feelings and fears from him, even after all these years. "You really think I’m scared of a baby?"

"Yes?" She answers, lower lip quivering, eyes betraying a long-ago distrust. "Isn’t that what you fear the most?"

"No. What I fear is you pushing me away and trying to survive all alone."

"I miss sex," she sighs and tries to have a laugh about it. The pregnancy is getting on her nerves, and at times, she just wants things to go back to the way they were.

Another good cry will fix the issue because deep down Sarah knows he isn't going anywhere. They're in this now, for life. They end up in bed, trying to have a good, nice cuddle, but it's a bit challenging because Sarah is in her last weeks.

"Yeah. Me too," he says while laying next to her, soothing her nerves with his touch like he always does. The weight of his palm caressing her shoulder or simply coming to rest there on her hip always grounds her to the present moment.

"Tell you what," he rumbles in her ear, this time raising his hand to brush away an escaped strand of hair from her face. "You give me another sweet girl, and I'll make you feel better than ever. Deal?"

"Deal."

She immediately breaks into a soft but bright smile. Simon has always called her sweet –the sweetest girl there is to be exact – and if he's not afraid, then there's no need for her to get cold feet either. After all, they both agreed they would live their life to the full, come what may.

#answered #sarah & simon #simon riley fluff

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gluttonousgobbo · 2 months ago

Text

"You're either my slut, seat, or food, take your pick."

tl:dr

This is a vore and kink heavy rp blog

Rules are basically, be nice, understand I have a job and other hobbies and blogs outside of this, don’t follow or interact if you don’t care for the aforementioned content and let me know if I make you uncomfortable

Stats and Larger rules under the cut.

Stats

Name: Terra Brewspark

Bio: The infamous heiress of Brewspark Industries, a potions and alcohol company that specializes in making alcoholic beverages from unusual and magical ingredients. Despite her status she doesn’t seem to care for throwing her weight around too much, at least in a metaphorical sense, literally this goblin loves to eat and throw her weight around physically.

Occupation: Part Time Student/Heiress

Vore Role: Heavily Pred Leaning 80/20

Age: 24 years

Current Gender: Female (She/Her)

Current Height: 3'4

Current Weight 260 lbs

Current Bodyshape: Fat, very belly heavy and bottom heavy

Race: Goblin

Skin Color: Lime Green

Eye Color: Teal

Current Color and Hairstyle: Short black pixie with an undercut with the underlayer of her hair dyed purple

Current Breast Size: DD-cups

Current Ass Size: 20 inches across each cheek

Current Crotch: Pussy

Other: Has a large tattoo of a black skull and crossbones on her gut that seems to glow a dull purple in the dark.

Usual Attire: A sleeveless white shirt and a pair of black black khakis and heavy work boots. occasionally seen wearing a heavy black leather coat in colder weather.

Abilities-

Cauldron Gut: Terra like many of the Brewsparks before her can use her strange belly as a cauldron for processing ingredients for potions or alcohol. This allows her to eat most things deemed poisonous by filtering out their toxins and digesting normally inedible things. This also allows her to digest many magical objects, beings, including souls.

After ingesting something she can mix them inside herself, or "eject" them through touch using an empty bottle.

Current M!A effects-

None

Items of Note-

None

Rules

Be nice and realize that I do have a job and other obligations so I may not be here 24/7

This is a nsfw heavy blog so no minors, muns, muses or otherwise.

IMs and Discord will be used for OOC convos only, if you come at me in character in IMs I will either ignore you or give you a gentle reminder

This blog is going to bounce back and forth between a standard style rp blog (ie the character is not actually running a tumblr blog) and a blog style rp blog (ie the character is running the blog) without any rhyme or reason, I'll mostly just try and match my partner's vibe for the most part.

Let me know if you’re uncomfortable with any kinks and I’ll be sure to steer them away from you, especially if you feel if I’m about to cross a line, note when it comes to bolded kinks of the vore log I won’t even touch them unless you tell me at some point that you’re comfortable with it and that is a right you are free to revoke at any time, so if at one point you give me permission to put your muse on the vorelog but change your mind later and don’t feel comfortable with it, let me know so I can take it down

All kinks will be tagged appropriately

Bolded kinks will be put under readmore

Kinks-

Yes- Vore (Being Pred) Alternative vore Expansion Hyper Sized Endowments Light Slob Anthro Muses Demi-human muses Human muses Robotic/Android Muses Monster Muses Bad Ends (Giving) Gas (Burps) Post-vore disposal (Cum) Post-vore Disposal (Scat) Transformation Older Muses Feederism Immobility

Maybe- Heavy Slob Gas (the other kind) Hypnotism Dubcon Sex Vore (Being Prey) Bad Ends (Receiving)

No- Health Issues Unintelligent Feral Muses/Beastiality Noncon Sex Underaged/Loli/Shota Muses Pregnancy Diapers/ABDL Gore/Violence/Kinks that involve excessive pain Toilet kinks (Without vore)

#pinned post

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heich0e · 1 year ago

Note

wait if you said that you're gonna stop the oopsy baby series 'for now' are you implying that you're gonna continue it at some point in the future or....? 🤨

I've gotten way more asks about this than I expected, and I won't reply to them all to spare your dash (since they mainly address the same things) but in the interest of transparency here are the highlights:

1. Are you going to continue the mini megumi series? /post any other parenthood fics?

I honestly don't know. I was going to add more to this reply but I've just been staring at the screen for like 10 minutes.

2. Why?

A couple of reasons, but if I'm being really honest I saw a lot of mutuals (who I sincerely like and respect, present tense) posting about how much they dislike parenthood/pregnancy fics and how sick they make them feel and it just didn't feel good.

I want to be really really clear that I TRULY and wholeheartedly believe that everyone is entitled to like what they like, and dislike what they dislike. But the problem is that when you express those opinions while disparaging the people whose opinion are different from yours, or if you choose to be vocal about your dislike of something when you see someone enjoying it, it can be really hurtful. It made me feel uncomfortable about continuing the series if I knew people felt that way and I was possibly upsetting them.

3. Is it because of the "exclusionary" ask?

No! This all happened before I received (or at least saw) that ask. And while I do completely and totally understand where that anon was coming from, and I support them 100% in sharing that very valid criticism with me, the fic probably wouldn't have changed because of it—though I would have started putting a tag in the updates alerting readers to the fact that Kota is described at multiple points throughout the story as being identical to Megumi in case it was sensitizing/alienating/in any way offensive to them.

The inspiration for the fic was that a child who is virtually identical to him shows up at his doorstep, and the entire series is predicated on that idea. I should have made that much clearer at the outset and I really apologize for my oversight and to anyone who I hurt by being careless in that way. I have since gone back and edited each instalment to feature a warning about this in the header, and hope that people who will feel excluded by this plot point can make whatever decision feels best for them in regards to engaging with the fic!

4. I don't like you.

Me neither.

5. I love parenthood fics and I think you should keep writing them.

I also like parenthood fics, and I think they're fun to write! And this is coming from someone who isn't even sure they ever want to have kids themselves. But sort of nodding back to point 2, I don't want to post any kind of fic that people who i consider friends begin vocally posting about disliking. Especially because I really don't follow that many people, so when every third post on my dash is dunking on the trope I'm actively posting about, it just makes me feel kind of sad and unwelcome.

This is absolutely NOT intended to be an indirect/vague about those moots, and if you're reading this I hope you know that I mean that from the BOTTOM of my heart. They are JUST as entitled to this space as I am, and I am in no way at all trying to impose myself and my opinions onto them. I just don't know how to filter anti-trope content from my user experience without inadvertently also filtering the content I DO want to see, and if I'm being honest I just don't think it's not worth losing mutuals who I really like over.

I'm saying all of this with nothing but love, and I hope that no one is too upset about it. I'm sorry if you were enjoying the series and now aren't sure about its future. I'm sorry if me expressing the way I was hurt makes you feel bad too. I'm really logging off now for a bit, and I hope you all take care of yourselves!! Be good, sending love, talk soon <3

#liv got mail #i apologize if i'm being dramatic! life is already hard and i just don't need to feel this way about a hobby!#kiss kiss kiss kiss #love u big #tw parenthood #tw pregnancy

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horizon-forbidden-sheesh · 1 year ago

Text

Writing Process: Timelines & Trackers

Okayyy, so I've written about the drafting process in detail. But along the way, logistics problems tend to pop up that can't be solved in words alone.

Mostly, it has to do with knowing exactly where someone is or what someone is doing at the same time as another character I'm writing. For instance, when does Alva get back to the Base? How long is she there before Aloy shows up?

I didn't always take detailed notes on this during my first play-through. And after I abandoned my Scrivener file, (more about this here ⚙️) I decided to refine my timeline.

I already had a great foundation based on my first play-through and my New Game+ speed run. So, I started fresh, with a new game file and good old fashioned pen & paper. I'm still working through this as I write. (Just finished the Scorcher side quest!!)

*This is in a Master-size (A4) Leuchtturm notebook, in which I'm working back-to-front. I prefer purple pen and grid paper always.

Yes. I know. I am a psycho. As I mentioned in the Preamble, gaming timelines are a special interest. 💁🏼‍♀️ Plus, I build client-friendly Gantt charts for design projects IN MY SLEEP. So, taking my timeline from paper into Spreadsheet status felt like a v natural next step.

💡I started with a weekly at-a-glance, mostly because I needed to coordinate when various characters arrived back at Base:

Why yes, I am tracking Zo & Aloy's periods. Because there is no single, magical herb you can take to stop pregnancy. Don't get me wrong, I dig this trope! It's important to discuss family planning, and our genre is ✨fantasy✨ after all. But I can only suspend my disbelief so far, and there are other ways to get around this, which a Matriarchal society would probably be clued in on.

💡 This quickly evolved to a daily at-a-glance once Kotallo made it to the Base:

This spreadsheet helped me IMMENSELY as I was writing chapters 13, 14, 16, 17, & 19! Basically any time Aloy & Kotallo are not in the same location. Knowing what Kotallo is doing at the Base while Aloy is off mid-adventure has been super important to make sure their Focus calls work and feel natural.

Likewise, knowing exactly what day Erend returns, and how long they have before Aloy gets back all helps with continuity and flow.

Other Things I'm Tracking:

💡Datapoints. The whole point of the GAIA Gang is that they're sorting through the data Aloy collected during the events of HZD. And since that was an absolute whirlwind year for Aloy, I'm thinking her files are a fucking shit show—and almost none of the people sorting through them even know how to read. 😵

So, I started by accumulating all the files by location. I am assuming they're probably geo-tagged—if not, they're at least assembled in order of pick-up, which would mean they're ordered by Aloy's general location at time-of-discovery anyway.

*I crossed them out as I moved them to the next spreadsheet tab...

From this hot mess, I figure that Zo, in her infinite wisdom, took one look at Aloy's files and went, "Oh hell no."

💡Here's the way I imagine Zo organized her playlists, much to Varl, Erend, & Kotallo's relief (Meanwhile, Alva re-filtered everything, and discovered entirely new metadata categories, obviously):

The most important detail here was time!! Most of these are like 1 minute long... but 1 minute in the game is like, 20 minutes IRL. So you've gotta figure the GAIA Gang is back at Base binge-watching an entire docu-series, while simultaneously learning how to read (and procrastinating with hours and hours of bodycam battle footage).

No wonder they're always busy when Aloy shows up!

💡 And yes, these are all tabs on a single spreadsheet:

💡 "Population" is literally just a mess of numbers & formulas as I try to figure out how we went from ~20 E-9 Cradle inhabitants to multiple tribes in the span of ~700 years.

I mean in 3041 we're prolly sitting at like... maybe ~15k in the U.S.?

*On second thought, that Oseram number is probably higher.

Anywayyyy, as fun as a blank page is, my brain really does work best on a grid. The process is totally intuitive, and I create the necessary docs as I go, the same as I would for any client or project. Sometimes, you need to explain things in a way so everyone is on the same page, and I find spreadsheets invaluable in that regard. (Y'all should see my wedding planning spreadsheet, lol.)

This whole process has helped me to find what works for me, and writing fanfic is truly preparing me to write my own original works. What I've discovered is that spreadsheets are part of my flowstate. They bring me a deep sense of peace and they help me to stay on track and oriented while I'm in the weeds.

🖤 Really, I want to come back to something I said in my second 'Process' post: Do what feels natural. Everyone is different. If being 'organized' steals your joy, don't do it. Stay messy! Whatever! Who cares? The most important part is that you find your flowstate.

I found this old Hindu saying while I was copywriting for a Chinese Medicine client, and it really stuck with me: "There are a hundred paths up the mountain, so it doesn't matter which path you take. The only one wasting time is the one who runs around and around the mountain telling everyone else that their path is wrong."

I'm just here documenting my own path up my mountain. And part of me thinks that it's all incredibly self-indulgent and cringe, but hey—when has blogging ever not been?

If you've read this far, I'm grateful. It's all a bit shouting-into-the-void out here, especially when you're this deep into a niche that moved on a while ago. But I've always loved a slowburn. (And if you do too, you might consider reading The Marshal.)

xo, Sheesh.

#hfw #horizon forbidden west #kotaloy #The Marshal #the making of #writing process #writing tools #writing advice

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rahleeyah · 2 years ago

Note

So first time fic writer wanting to know if I should publish to ao3? I wrote it primarily as a way to deal with this past week’s episode but I’m nervous to publish. Do I make the leap? Do you have any advice?

You absolutely should publish. Anything you've written is worth sharing. Whatever the reasons for writing it, however nervous you might be, it's ok!!! It's nerve wracking sharing your stuff for the first time but it's a good step to putting yourself out there, meeting new people, and becoming more comfortable and confident in yourself and your work. Whatever you have to say someone out there wants to read it. I mean you can just keep your work to yourself if you really want to, but when we open ourselves up to people we open ourselves up to a lot of positive experiences and it sounds to me like you want to do this. So do it!

Couple little tips and tricks for posting:

Make sure you rate your fic. You have the option not to rate it, but lots of people sort and filter by rating, and you'll never turn up for those people if you don't have a rating. When in doubt just mark it "T"

Archive warnings. Since it's your first time posting you may not know there is a set of Big Issue Warnings an author can choose to warn for on their stories. It looks like this:

You have to choose an option. There is a difference between "choose not to use" and "no archive warnings apply." "Choose not to use" means those things may be in the story, and indicates readers should tread lightly. Some people will filter out "choose not to" fics. If there's no non-con or major character death or underage or whatever, pick "no archive warnings apply."

If you are writing in Google docs and cutting and pasting into the AO3 text box let me know. It will automatically add an extra line break between each of your paragraphs but there are ways around that. This is a stylistic thing some people don't care about but some people won't read a story that's formatted that way.

Make sure you put your characters and ships in here:

Again that is for people who are searching and filtering. You don't have to - you shouldn't - tag every character who appears in a story but do hit the main ones. You can add whatever additional tags you like to tell people about your story; I almost never use them but I tag for big things, like I put an unplanned pregnancy tag on hov and I put an eo endgame tag on Mia so people would know what they were getting.

If you have a Twitter account, post the link to your story there! Post the link to your story here, too, and be sure to tag it so people can find it. I always do hashtags for show names, character names, and ship names.

You can also crosspost to FFN. believe it or not some people are still exclusively reading there. FFN is a bear to post on tho so if you want to do it and you haven't done it before come back and I'll post a tutorial.

It's your first time out, so answer people's comments. I know how that sounds coming from me, but you aren't posting three concurrent stories that update almost every day. This is your first time, so interact with people. That's a good way to get them to come back for more. And it's a really, really good way to make friends.

Post it and then walk away. Don't sit by your phone and wait to see what the reaction is, you'll get all up in your head - or at least I do. Give yourself something else to do for a little while.

Be excited!!

If anybody else has some tips or encouragement for our friend please leave a note!

#anonymous

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pinnedangel · 2 years ago

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you can call me angel, i am a switch vers. this is approximately one half hard kink blog, one half place for me to make posts for the sake of saying words in varying orders with varying levels of comprehensibility. check below for the highlights, general overview is as follows. my icon is real bird taxidermy because it fucks. i do not content tag posts that are not my own, except for cnc-related posts explicitly mentioning rape, which are tagged #rapekink. sometimes this blog runs on queue and sometimes it gets abandoned for a few weeks. that's because it's my blog and i post primarily for my own entertainment. you're welcome to flirt with me but i have insane levels of social deficit type autism, and having conversations with people i do not know, while sometimes very fun, also tends to be deeply exhausting and stressful, so i cannot promise anything will come of it. however, deleted mutuals are always welcome to send me a dm or ask about whether i have any of their old posts, i enjoy going through the archives of this blog whenever it could help. my personal tag is #saintly thoughts.

as an advertisement and warning, on this blog you may see posts about:

-consensual nonconsent, including content that directly refers to rape

-dubious consent, including intoxication and somnophilia

-corruption, mindbreaking, manipulation, gaslighting, and abusive dynamics

-fearplay, including kidnapping/captivity, gratuitous bodily harm, and threats of death. may also include snuff, but generally i'm more into the threat of being killed than the actual idea of it

-gender play, in the sense of non-detransition related forced feminization and masculinization

-primal, predator/prey, and petplay

-monsterfucking, oviposition, egg pregnancy and laying

-size difference and object insertion

-fauxcest, heirophilia, dollification, hypnosis, overstimulation and edging, exhibitionism, impact play, knifeplay, general bdsm dynamics, and more.

i try to keep this post updated with at least my most regular topics, but this is not an exhaustive list.

soft limits:

gore, necrophilia, age regression, boot licking/humping, violence that involves losing teeth, scarification/tattooing, parental fauxcest, direct snuff, gunplay

these are things you might see posts about occasionally but i’d prefer not to be engaged with on. if i’m reblogging posts that include them, it’s either enjoyment from a nonsexual or very abstracted perspective, something i’ve reblogged because it includes other elements i do enjoy, or something that i am just starting to explore interest in but haven’t figured out how i enjoy it.

hard limits/filtered tags:

pregnancy/birth, lactation, hucow, piss, scat, vomit, abdl, armpits, detransition, misgendering, feeding/feederism, beastiality, feet, needles/piercing, amputation, castration, extreme body modification

i’m not going to block you if you follow me and post about any of my hard limits. i follow plenty of people who post about some of them but post about other stuff i like, that’s why i have the tags filtered. i just might not follow you back if that’s your main focus. i pass no judgements on kinks as long as they’re between consenting parties and you’re not trying to put your kink content on the posts of people who don’t want it there.

if i block you, it's most likely because i looked at your blog upon you following me and could not determine your age or even if you were a real person. i also tend to block cishet people, as i would rather they not interact with my personal content.

if you see me tagging posts with #🎥 don't worry about it. i have two guys i made up in my head for the purpose of putting each other through physical and emotional hell in the form of a long term relationship and sometimes i see things that make me think of their brand of excessively unethical freak sex.

#saintly thoughts

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kiirschtein-archive · 2 years ago

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⋆ 「 𝐠𝐮𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬. 」 ⋆

about me. — i’m dahlia! i’m a cishet white woman in my twenties (lmao so exciting, right? /s). i work full-time so i don’t always have as much energy as i would like, but i still love being here!

this is a sideblog, so i follow and interact from @laserbrains, my main/star wars writing blog.

dni & byf. — minors, ED blogs, terfs, transphobes/any lgbtphobe, racists, sexists. i will not follow individuals who do not tag/warn for certain topics that bother me personally. also, please do not trauma dump on me.

nsfw. — since i am an adult and often post nsfw content, this blog is meant for those 18+ only, and anyone who does not have an indication of their age on their blog will be blocked. since nsfw content is so frequent here, i don’t have a specific tag for it for filtering purposes, so please follow at your own discretion. all written persons are also 18+

dark content. — i will likely engage with and even create content with darker themes from time to time. these works (and all of my works in general) will be marked appropriately with warnings. i try to be as thorough as i can but i may occasionally miss something, so please feel free to politely let me know if i’ve accidentally left something out!

aged up characters. — i will engage with and likely create content in which some characters are aged up. i would advise you not to follow if this is something that bothers you.

descriptors. — i try to write gender-neutral reader as often as possible. certain nsfw scenarios will usually cater to an afab audience, and occasionally strictly fem!reader. i also usually do my absolute best to refrain from using any descriptors of reader in my work, at least outside of anything necessary to establish a certain setting/au/etc. if anything happens to deviate from this, it will be tagged to the best of my ability.

requests. — i will write headcanons, blurbs/drabbles, and occasionally full fics when requests are open, but the more intensive the piece, the longer it will probably take. but overall it will depend on my level of motivation and energy; i will do my best to fulfill them within my limits. however, i certainly can’t guarantee getting to everything. please don’t take it personally if i don’t get around to something in particular. sometimes things just don’t click, and my adhd (alongside other mental afflictions) also sort of runs the circus that is my brain lol

do not repost. — i do not consent to the reposting of my works here or on any other platform.

𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐅𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐎𝐖𝐈𝐍𝐆:

attack on titan. — jean kirschtein, armin arlert, eren jaeger, levi ackerman, reiner braun, connie springer, erwin smith, bertholdt hoover

jujutsu kaisen. — satoru gojo, yuta okkotsu, toji fushiguro, megumi fushiguro, suguru geto, kento nanami, yuji itadori, ryomen sukuna, toge inumaki, choso

obey me! — lucifer, mammon, leviathan, satan, asmodeus, beelzebub, belphegor, diavolo, barbatos, solomon, simeon

buddy daddies. — kazuki kurusu, rei suwa

content i’m okay with. — age play, anal, begging, biting/scratching/marking, blindfolding/sensory play, bondage/restraints, breeding kink, choking/breath play, cockwarming, collaring, cnc, corruption, cum play, dacryphilia, daddy kink, degradation/humiliation, dirty talk, discipline/brat taming, dubcon, dumbification, edging/denial/neglect, exhibitionism, fingering, gangbanging, hair-pulling, hate sex, impact play, intercrural, masturbation, mommy kink, noncon, oral sex, overstimulation/forced orgasms, pain play, pegging, praise, pregnancy, public sex, sex pollen, somnophilia, squirting, stepcest, switching/role reversal, thigh riding, threesomes/group sex, voyeurism

content no-go’s. — self-harm/suicide, eating disorders, pedophilia, omegaverse, scat/piss, vore, heavy pet-play. drug use is on thin ice; it depends on the situation. same with some stalking/obsession themes. other things may be added/changed in the future.

side note. — i feel like this should go without saying, but fiction is separate from real life and i do not promote/condone all themes in works that i create or interact with.

#guidelines.

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imagineitdearies-old · 2 years ago

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Hello! Hope your doing well. I do have a silly question to ask as an author and I mean no disrespect whatsoever with it.

One of my favorite fanfics is misty dream by corviids. If you read the story then you know that Luke has the ability to get pregnant but it’s not an a/b/o story.

Once again nothing wrong with that. But, while I believe to be wrong I saw a comment asking how it was possible for Luke to be pregnant or in getting pregnant. Corviids themselves put a note in the newest chapter explaining that but since your writing a story on abo I decided to come to you.

Is it really wrong to go that way when writing your OWN story. I mean, does it really have to be an abo story for your characters to have the ability to get pregnant? Is it like breaking some sort of unspoken rule where if you were to break it you’re offending someone else?

Please once more I don’t mean any disrespect with this. I’m genuinely curious as to know why this is some sort of issue. And not speaking of misty dream but I’ve read countless of other stories where this is an actual issue but specifically when it comes to male pregnancy and the story is not abo.

Once again, if this ask is rude please ignore as I won’t like to bring any problems. Thank you!

(Edit: somehow this got queued instead of saved as a draft, sorry everyone for the initial incomplete post 😂)

Hi anon! I don’t find this question rude and hope I can answer in a way that's clear I’m expressing my own thoughts and opinions, which you seem to be asking for, and that I'm not trying to tell anyone else what to do.

First and foremost, no, I don't think it's wrong to do *anything* in a story actually, because in the end it's fiction. If you properly tag things, people have no legit reason to complain about what they decided to click on and read. You don't have to justify anything beyond that. 'Don't Like Don't Read' is the gospel of ao3, I will always hold to it and encourage others to do the same.

Now, your further questions center around a curiosity as to why some people don't like unexplained mpreg. I know there's plenty who can't stand mpreg point blank, and always filter out that tag (which is why I always tag it even if it's only mentioned in my fics), and then some who only like it when explained as part of an a/b/o verse.

It certainly is a thought experiment as to why. Personally? I think the reason some people don't enjoy unexplained mpreg as much is because, while it is wish-fulfillment for some, to others it can sometimes feel like putting a 'heteronormative bandaid' so to speak on a queer ship--as it's very different even from a trans person getting pregnant, at least in my opinion. That can really knock me out of the story (though it may be a healing fantasy for others, i'm sure). I'm not offended--I just don't enjoy it usually.

(Anyone who feels truly offended by such a thing when they could be offended by like ANY of the real world problems we have should rethink their priorities 😂)

On the other hand, omegaverse can sometimes feel more in touch with the queer experience. Usually there is some minority and/or stigma still with being omega male or alpha female, for instance. It often involves other queer experiences too--presenting suddenly and often traumatically as alpha/omega can resonate with those who experienced body dysmorphia during puberty, and dealing with rigid societal relationship/gender roles is relatable to everyone but definitely those who are gay and/or trans.

I think heats/ruts also can resonate somewhat as a queer fantasy; both are like a cathartic release of the character's pent up sexual desire and feelings that they haven't allowed themselves to indulge in or society has barred them from, and then BOOM there is (often) no choice anymore. Being forced to accept one's sexual desire during heat/rut is not dissimilar to the tipping point many queer people have in their journey of self-acceptance, and so is yet another detail that makes the whole strange omega-canon resonate with queerness still.

(Sorry, you asked the a/b/o author this question, so you get to hear me wax poetic about omegaverse for a second 😂)

Personally, even just a small magical spell/curse/biological anomaly explanation can make mpreg enjoyable for me, but I'm not everybody. Plenty of (queer or not) people don't like mpreg at all, fantastically explained or not, and it's not your job to please everyone. There's nothing offensive about making any fictional character pregnant without explanation! It may not be everyone's cup of tea--but that doesn't mean you have to change your story. Especially among lucemond shippers, I doubt it will stop you from getting readership. And if someone jumps into your comments telling you how to write, tell them where to stick it!

Write what you want, block without prejudice, and take care of yourself anon <3

#friendly reminder to put slashes in a/b/o so you're not writing a slur!#ask me shit #writing advice #omegaverse discourse #fandom discourse #lucemond

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risusims · 11 days ago

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Tag Game for Historical Simblrs! 📖

1. What has been your favorite time period to play in or which one are you most excited for?

I'm currently playing through the late 1800's/start of the 1900, and even tho I love the victorian time I like the 1850 the most, which I had never used in my gameplays. Honestly I'm kind of excited for the 1950/1960, in my country we were in a military dictatorship after that so playing the colorful happy 80s doesn't make much sense to me, so I think I'll like playing before it the most.

2. Do you have a favorite piece of historical cc? (CAS or BB)

I love all my historical cc, for clothes I almost always go to linzlu, but this hair from @buzzardly28 is definitely my all time favorite, it's a shame it clips with hats :(

3. Who is your favorite sim currently?

Mildred will always be my baby. She is such a strong mother, enduring some unwanted pregnancies and having to learn to love those babies and care for them as much as Alexei, always keeping a smile on her face during the hard times and making sure everyone was okay.

I'll be sad to leave her go, but I'm also excited to see how Alexei's story will turn out as he doesn't want his father's farm and aspires to be a violinist.

4. What is your favorite world?

My all time favorite world is definitely Henford-on-Bagley, but I think I adore practically all worlds that give off this countryside, super green vibe. I also love Willow Creek, but I never had the opportunity to play with it during the decades challenge itself.

5. Are you more gameplay or story focused?

I usually plan the story according to what happens during the gameplay. If I plan a lot of stuff I know half of it will be impossible to reproduce in the game, so I'd rather not get disappointed.

6. Do you like to play with pets in your historical saves?

YES! I think most families in real life own at least one pet, and I personally couldn't live without my dog. I enjoy playing and then seeing the family's cat on a counter and thinking "oh that's cute!", I think that it adds another level of realism to the gameplay.

Besides pets, I also really enjoy playing with horses and all the cottage living animals. I love taking screenshots of my sims on the back of their horses and imagine where they could be going (if the sims 4 was open world).

7. What’s your biggest immersion breaking pet peeve with the game?

For me it's when time passes and all the townie's kids I placed grow up with the most horrendous and modern outfit. They always turn out to dress the ugliest outfits in the game!

8. What’s your favorite in-game historical item? (CAS or BB)

I mostly use the vampire's pack, as it has some cool suits and chandeliers, but I have a serious phobia of ingame items so I usually just filter for custom content and call it a game. EA's bb items always look so bulky compared to CC, idk, I just don't like it.

9. What would you like to see as a new pack or asset to the game?

I know some people disagree, but I would LOVE cars. If we get cars in the game, we could easily make cc vintage cars and make them function properly. Sadly, idk if i will ever happen. I don't care about the open world, for me it could work just like in the sims 2 and I'd be fine.

10. What pack do you think is invaluable as a historical simmer?

I think pets and dogs, just because of Brindleton Bay, as it is the BEST world to start in. Also, I really really really love Cottage living for the cows and chickens, seasons for the holidays and Horse Ranch for... horses!

11. Do you have a favorite mod to enhance historical gameplay?

I could NEVER play without Ye olde cookbook, the off the grid range of meals in the game is so shallow and this mod makes even making my sims prepare a meal into an event.

12. What’s your ideal family size for playing?

I'm currently playing with a family of six plus a cat and I feel very overwhelmed all the time. I'd rather play with something around 4 sims, as I can focus on the more individually and guarantee none of them is dying somewhere I'm not seeing.

13. Do you use poses?

YES! Sims team likes to make animations so goofy that it turns impossible to take credible screenshots with them. Poses bring a level of realism to screenshots and allows me to play with themes that wouldn't be possible with Sims 4 as it tries to be so family friendly all of the time.

14. Do you use any overrides in your game?

I override practically everything. The mop? yes, the phone? for sure! and honestly everything that I see and think " that is too modern for me!"

15. Do you, or did you, play off-the-grid during your game?

Yes, I'm currently playing with it right now, and honestly it is not as challenging as it looks like. I actually don't mind it.

16. What lifespan do you play on?

I play with a custom lifespan where 4 years are equal one year. I wish I were one of those sims that use long lifespan, but I get bored very quickly so it would be impossible for me.

17. What inspired you to start playing a historically?

I have always loved everything related to history, the fashion, books, art and etc, so when I discovered there was something like the decades challenge I got super excited to try it. I'm always into the idea of going cc shopping, so cc shopping for historical cc was a breeze!

If anyone else wants to try this, feel at ease to do it!

#sims 4 legacy #ts4 decades challenge #ts4 historical #decades challenge

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