#at least one person on here knows how much I love have loved and will always loved Bowie

[dollishmehrayan]

# BATBOYS WITH A SUNSHINE!READER ── .✦ ( basically batboys with a optimistic reader )

a/n: this was requested by anon (here) but anywayss i think I’m gonna do the world tour thing after my winter inspired fics/hcs end on like February 28th! (Dw i’ll still do the world tour thingy in between) but yahh also I desperately need writer mutals + mutals I mssg daily like I’m a very kind person idm if you dm me at like 4 AM, tags: (batboys x fem!reader)

© dollishmehrayan — ( all rights reserved to me. These works cannot be reposted, translated, or modified. Thank you for understanding dollies! )

DICK GRAYSON ── .✦

Absolutely smitten. Your optimism is like a magnet for Dick, who thrives on positivity.

He calls you his “little ray of sunshine” (even if you roll your eyes at the nickname).

If he’s feeling down, your relentless optimism is a game changer. “How do you do that? How do you make the world seem so… bright all the time?”

Constantly teases you, especially if you’re being overly cheerful during random moments. “Are you seriously smiling right now? We’re getting ready to head to bed!”

But secretly, he loves it. Your energy balances his occasional doubts && insecurities. (he lovesss positive people who live in their own world)

Dick starts picking up on your habits leaving little notes of encouragement, giving random compliments to strangers and realizes how much better it makes his day.

JASON TODD ── .✦

At first, he’s skeptical. He’s not used to someone so genuinely cheerful, and he might think you’re putting on an act.

“How are you this happy all the time? What’s your secret? Coffee? Dark magic?”, “I just like seeing the world differently, I’m a poet in my mind.”

But over time, he warms up to your positivity and even craves it (to a point he gets sad if you aren’t around for more than 4 hours). You’re the light that cuts through his darker moments and more sulking personality.

“I don’t know how you do it, but you make me feel like the world’s not completely screwed.”, “what did you say?-“, “Nothing go back to sleep.”

He pretends to be annoyed when you try to cheer him up after a rough day, but he secretly loves when you coax a laugh out of him.

Jason starts jokingly calling you his “emotional support sunshine.” He’ll tell Roy, “Yeah, they’re like my personal antidepressant.”

Will protect your positivity at all costs. If anyone tries to dim your light, they’ll have to deal with him.

TIM DRAKE ── .✦

Finds your optimism so refreshing. Tim can be a little too caught up in stress and overthinking, so your energy is like a breath of fresh air.

He’s constantly asking, “How are you so happy all the time? Teach me your ways.”

If you leave him little notes of encouragement, he’ll treasure them forever. He has a drawer full of them and pulls one out whenever he’s having a bad day.

Sometimes, your cheerfulness makes him feel a little guilty. “You��re so good, and here I am being a grump.” But you always remind him it’s okay to have bad days.

Tim loves how you bring optimism even to his most chaotic moments. “Yeah, sure, we’re being late, but hey, at least it’s not raining, right?”

He’d be a little overwhelmed by your energy at times, but he admires you deeply for seeing the good in everything.

DAMIAN WAYNE ── .✦

Damian does not know what to do with you at first. Your cheerfulness is a complete mystery to him.

“Why are you smiling? We are surrounded by incompetence.”

He pretends to be annoyed, but deep down, he finds your positivity oddly comforting.

Over time, he starts looking forward to your optimistic take on things. “Yes, fine, maybe there is a silver lining. Stop gloating.”

You have a knack for breaking through his tough exterior. If he’s grumpy, you’ll say something so genuinely kind that he can’t help but soften.

Damian secretly loves how you see the good in him, even when he doesn’t see it himself.

He starts to mimic your habits, like giving Alfred small compliments or trying to look on the bright side, but he’ll deny it if you call him out.

BRUCE WAYNE ── .✦

Bruce admires your positivity but doesn’t always understand it. “How do you manage to stay so cheerful in Gotham of all places?”

At first, he worries your optimism will make you naive, but he quickly realizes it’s your strength.

Your energy is a stark contrast to his brooding nature, and he starts leaning on it more than he cares to admit.

When he’s stuck in his head or doubting himself, you always know what to say to pull him out of it.

“You make it sound so simple,” he says after you give him one of your pep talks. But he smiles because somehow, you do make it simple.

You bring a sense of warmth and nostalgia into the Wayne Manor. Bruce finds himself more relaxed when you’re around, even in the middle of chaos.

He’ll never admit it to the others, but your optimism is one of his favorite things about you.

[zorosangell]

I love your fics sm they’ve been getting me through my weekend! In honor of the cold and flu season, maybe a Zoro x Sick Reader would be cute ^^ (where of course Zoro is a big blockhead who doesn’t know how to care for someone who is sick but is too overprotective to not at least try).

⛥ﾟ・。 ham melon

synopsis: after you contract a rare, deadly disease, zoro has to take care of you... the best he can.

cw: fluffy fluff, comfort, zoro is a lovable idiot, reader's a little nervous

a/n: love the love i'm receiving from some of you guys tysm. though i just wanted to remind some of you in my inbox that it is the holiday season, and while i'm writing these i am also getting my house and gifts together for christmas. so plz give me some grace lol. i am doing my best to work through my asks

"Zoro... honey... I don't think I can eat that," you rasped, breathing labored and voice weak as you glanced toward the man standing at your bed side. "I can barely keep down water..."

Eye wide, Zoro flushed with embarrassment, now feeling stupid as he glanced down at his hands, which held the bone of a comically large cut of raw ham melon.

And after he spent a whole hour looking for it, too...

'Dammit.'

"Shit..." he cursed under his breath, tossing the meat off to the side as he ran an anxious hand through his hair, looking around the room for something else to help.

Of course, fate had to have chosen the worst possible person in the world to leave you with.

"Alright, I'll... um... shit..." he frantically thought aloud, his hand coming to rest on his chin as he brainstormed more things to give you. "Tea helps people when they're sick, right? Do you want some tea?"

He turned to you for an answer, only to be met by your heavy wheezes, your chest rising and falling both slowly and deeply in an attempt to get as much air as possible.

Your eyes were shut, blankets pulled up to your neck for the body chills and rag placed carefully on your forehead for the fever—which was a whopping 104 degrees last he checked.

Moving closer, Zoro removed the wet cloth and placed the back of his hand in its stead, letting it rest against the painful flush for a moment before quickly yanking it away, worried.

"Christ, woman, your burning up! Tea's gonna kill you!" he winced, concerned, before quickly turning around and rushing toward the exit. "Here, gimme a second!"

Bursting into the kitchen, he bee-lined it for the cupboard and grabbed a glass, moving to get water out of the fridge.

Chopper and the others would have to hurry up if you were going to survive the night.

After docking on a mysterious, tropical island, you somehow managed to catch a rare disease—a disease that had a one-hundred percent fatality rate.

Naturally, the entire crew was worried, but an elderly woman from the town explained that a cure could be made from the large lotus flower that sat in the center of the jungle.

But, because there's always a catch, the jungle was teeming with dangerous animals and man-eating plants, thus making the trip a suicide mission.

So, Luffy and the others embarked on the journey, while your boyfriend was left on ship-watching and you-watching duty.

Though, it was clear that the crew was having a far easier time with their task.

"I got you some water," Zoro stated, walking back into the room.

Quickly, he took a seat next to your bed, scooping his hand under your neck and lifting you up, helping the cup to your lips as you drank.

"Thank you..." you mumbled, taking a few sips before allowing him to lay you back down. "M'sorry... m'such a pain in the ass."

"The hell are you talking about?" he raised a brow, placing the glass on the end table.

"Well... you never get sick... and it's my luck the one time I do, it's deadly," you looked down at yourself, slightly embarrassed. "Not to mention you probably had things you wanted to do today..."

"You talk as if I think you're a burden."

"Well—"

"That's stupid."

You piped down, slightly surprised by his blunt statement.

"There's no burden in this relationship. There's me... and there's you," he stated, as if it was the simplest thing in the world. "You keep me sane... and I protect you... and both of us pick up the slack where we need it."

Seriously, he turned to you, eye practically peering through your soul.

"I don't date dead-weight. If that were the case, I would've never asked you out in the first place."

Gagged, you could do nothing but sit there, stunned to silence.

You didn't know he thought so much of the relationship...

Not that you were treating it was a fling, but that you didn't think your swordsman read so much into it.

"You're talking better. The fever must be breaking," Zoro yawned, standing up from his seat. "You need anything else?"

Quietly, you shook your head, and he let out a heavy sigh, allowing his shoulders to slightly sink before he flopped onto bed with you.

"Good... M'takin' a nap..."

"Zoro! I'm gonna get you sick!"

He grunted in response, allowing his eye to shut as he rolled over and dropped his head in the pillows, tucking his hands behind his head.

"You said it yourself... I don't get sick..."

"Well, I don't wanna risk it!"

"Just shut up and c'mere," he mumbled, looping his arm around your waist and jerking you into his side.

The moment you came in contact with his shirtless body, you nearly let out a sigh of relief, his warm skin doing wonders for your body chills.

'Maybe... a few snuggles won't hurt...'

"Five minutes..." you warned, groggily, resting your head on his chest as you inched closer.

"Mhmmm," he hummed in agreement, already half asleep.

Though, when the rest of the crew returned around midnight, the two of your were still in bed together, a mess of limbs and snores as Zoro held you close—his position that of a shield as his front cradled you in his arms, and his back shielded you from any outside dangers.

After Chopper administered your medicine, and Luffy ate the ham melon left behind on the desk, the crew left, leaving you both to continue your slumber.

Zoro, relieved that you were still alive, able to sense your breathing through his sleep.

You, relieved to know that your swordsman viewed you so highly, and saw you as anything but a burden.

[inazuman]

dec. 14 ✧ day one ✧ preparing your home for winter - itoshi sae x reader fluff, blue lock. note: reader is close with her mother in this, and has some personality.

"Cute." Sae raises a soft toy out of the box of them, squeezing its head in your direction as if it's nodding. You can't help but laugh at his nonchalant face whilst doing something so childish.

The box is full of them, never thrown out since the day you were born. It makes him about what you must've been like as a child. With a room full of stuffed toys, he imagines, from how many he's seeing in the box right now. Did you covet them, similarly to how you do with him now?

"I don't know what my mom was thinking, buying all of these for me." You sigh, sifting through them for a bit before shutting the box back again, a lift of dust catching the light like fireflies.

"She loves and spoils you. Are you sure you wanna throw all this out?" He gestures to the row of boxes lined against the wall.

You sigh again. You've done that a lot throughout this process, something like pain and grief and fatigue all in one.

"My grandmother was a huge hoarder. It might seem strange but… This is the best thing. The thing I've wanted to do for so long."

You take his hands in yours, lacing your fingers together. "Thank you for being here for me through this. The donations… it feels like a good thing."

He's never sure what to do or what to say when you get like this. Your heavy-heartedness, the sentimentality you hold. Sometimes, he can't believe that all you feel fits in your chest.

It must be heavy, he thinks. He loves you. He'll hold it with you.

He pats your head, and the way you beam at him makes everything a little lighter.

"You've provided so much for me, Sae," you wrap your arms around his neck. "You've given me so much. It feels right, to be able to at least give back a little." You stare out at the boxes, a nostalgic look passing over for just a moment. "This'll all go to homes. It's something my mom and I used to do together, give them out. She'd be happy to hear it's finally going to be of good use. I'll call her and let her know."

You've said this before, that he provides for you. Something about having a home, about security, about finally being able to relax. He's not always sure what you mean, just happy to make you happy. What you provide for him, someone to come home to, a love that feels bigger than the world, your innovation and communication and compassion -- That, he knows. He imagines it's something like that. He hopes it is.

"Giving back does sound good," he hums.

"My mother says it's good feng shui, too, you know. To clear out a home before the new year starts."

"New year, new me?" he jests, and you smack him in the chest.

"It sounds weird when you say it!"

twelve days of selfshipmas event

late post to this event! my family's place is indeed being cleaned out rn w everything going to donation ahaha. i hope everyone has the most loveliest christmas!

[chaos-in-deepspace]

LADS Xavier: Seasonal Moods | SFW

I've been feeling really off the past few days with a swirl of negative, self deprecating emotions, and decided to attempt to cheer myself up by writing some comfort. The newest event with Xavier really drove home the point to me that he would be the best at helping his depressed partner.

I know I'm probably not the only one who feels like this, and with winter being here I know a lot of us with year round depression if getting hit a bit harder than normal, so if this is you, I hope you can find a little comfort with this fic. Remember you're loved and cherished and the voices in your head feeding you all these negative thoughts are lying to you.

Anyways, I didn't proof read this as I didn't have the energy so I apologize for typos.

❧ Pairings: Xavier x Reader ❧ Warnings: Depressed Reader, Non Sexual Intimacy, Non Sexual Nudity ❧ Synopsis: Sometimes seasons make sad moods worse, but sometimes people in your life can help make it a little better. ❧ Word Count: 2.2k

Disclaimer: This is an original fan work for “Love and Deepspace”. Do not repost on other platforms or plagiarize. All characters shown in this fic is 18+.

Blog Information | Masterlist

Xavier

Seasonal Moods

You were feeling…some sort of way. It wasn’t a particularly good feeling in you, in fact you’d say it was rather the opposite of good. You felt dreadful, and for no reason other than it was winter. You had less sunlight, colder weather, and with that sometimes came a certain melancholic sadness that washed over you. You just felt…horrible.

Whenever you saw your friends together it felt more like they were almost ignoring you, even Tara seemed more distant from you. You knew logically it was all in your head, that these things weren’t happening, but it didn’t make you feel any better. It was like you were looking at every outing through a glass, you were there but there was something separating you from all the others.

You felt like you couldn’t reach out even if you wanted to. When everyone was having fun it felt like you bringing anything up would ruin the atmosphere. So you began distancing yourself as much as possible. Putting your phone on silent and saying you were asleep or busy when questioned why you didn’t answer, claiming you had something going on when invited out, the whole works. If you were forced to reply in message threads, it was easy enough to have some self confidence and fire at least. As long as you didn’t come face to face with others, most thought you were doing just fine. It did work, for the most part.

There was just one person who didn’t buy the facade.

Xavier.

How he always managed to know when something was slightly off with your mood was a quality in him you both admired and hated. He was your hunting partner, your neighbor, your friend, and possibly something more, but you two hadn’t had that discussion yet. You probably had just spent so much time together in the past few months he was able to easily tell when you were acting different. It shouldn't have surprised you, not with how observant he always seemed to be when it came to you.

You just wished he didn’t care so much, that he couldn’t tell you were depressed. That way you could easily distance yourself from him like you did with everyone else until you worked out your own thoughts and emotions. Sure it might’ve taken all winter to begin feeling better, but at least he didn’t have to see you like this.

He had made a surprise visit while you were in your bed, scrolling through funny videos in an attempt to distract yourself from your thoughts. You had managed to slip up at work and gotten a very minor injury, but it was enough to force you to take a few days off. You hated that more than anything. At least at work it kept you busy so you didn’t have time to deal with your emotions. When you were at home by yourself it seemed to only amplify the darker thoughts in your head.

“Hey,” his soft voice had startled you at first and you flinched, locking your phone and putting it against your chest. You closed your eyes, hoping he hadn’t seen you were awake on your phone. You were laying on your side, facing away from the door to your bedroom, so there was a…low chance.

Then you felt the bed dipping as he sat down, and you felt his hand threading through your hair so gently you leaned into it, “There we are, you are awake after all.” He said, the laugh he had was a little airy and you finally glanced at him. He was wearing his signature white hoodie at the moment and his hair was a little disheveled as if he just woke up a few minutes ago, “How are you feeling?”

“My side hurts, but other than that it’s fine. I can sleep it off.” You quickly said, slowly leaning away from his hand and placing your head back on the pillow.

“Have you already changed the bandages?”

“Yes.”

“Have you eaten today.”

Silence filled the air as you thought about that. You didn’t even know what time it was, let alone if you hadn’t eaten. The days were melding together, so you weren’t sure. You could see the sun was setting beyond the horizon…or perhaps it was just coming up. You had been doing nothing but bed rotting the past few days, sleeping on and off, and only getting up when you needed to use the restroom or when you realized how dry your throat was. When was the last time you even showered?

“I’ll take that as a no.” He said with another laugh, but this time it was less enthusiastic, “How about I go make you something real fast.”

This had you grabbing his wrist quickly, stopping him in his tracks, “What are you planning on making?” while Xavier had slowly gotten better at cooking foods, using things like the oven or stove top was still a hit or miss situation.

“It’s a bit chilly today so how about some ramen?” he suggested. Xavier could see the way your shoulders seemed to sag in relief at his suggestion. You weren’t particularly hungry, but you knew food would probably be good.

“That sounds good to me.”

“Alright, wait here, I’ll be back in a few minutes.” Xavier ran his hands through your hair again, scratching at your scalp and you wanted to flinch away. It was probably oily and gross and you didn’t want him to feel it.

You felt the bed shift again as he got up and the door closed behind him, leaving you alone again. You stared at the wall in silence, wondering if maybe you should get up and tell him he can go home, that you were capable of taking care of yourself right now. It would be a lie, sure, but you didn’t want him fretting over you. You didn’t deserve his attention when you were the one who dug this self deprecating hole yourself.

You didn’t have the energy though, and instead just laid there and waited for him to come back. Once again you didn’t know how much time had passed, it could’ve been hours or even seconds, it all felt relatively the same to you. The door opened back and you could smell the savory ramen, he had made one of your favorite flavors…again he was far too observant. The bed dipped and you heard items being placed on the nightstand next to you.

“Come on, let me help you sit up.” Xavier said, slowly lifting your body into a sitting up position. You felt him grabbing pillows to help prop you up in the bed and you sighed when the warm ramen was placed in your hands alongside chopsticks, “Eat up, I’m sure you’re starving without even realizing it.” He said. You glanced back at him, noticing how he was eating as well, blowing on the steaming noodles before taking a bite.

You followed the motions, noticing that, for some odd reason, the food tasted a little better than usual. The moment you took the first bite it was like your body kick started and you realized you were pretty damn hungry. You two ate in silence side by side on your bed, and by the time you finished you were being handed a nice cool glass of water to sip on. He let you just be for the time being, not saying anything but just being there. He helped clean up the empty containers and when he came back to the room he was shifting you again, picking you up.

Your hands found purchase around his shoulders, “Xavier, what are you doing?” you quickly ask, not understanding why you were suddenly being carried somewhere.

“To the shower.” It was simple enough of a statement, but you felt a wash of shame overtaking you. So he had noticed, of course he did.

You gave a strained laugh, “I must smell pretty bad if you’re dragging me to the shower…sorry about that.” You murmured, trying to make light of the situation.

“You don’t smell bad,” He quickly stated, “and even if you did, I don’t mind.” The door to the bathroom opened and he placed you on top of the counter, “I just realized you probably hadn’t had the energy to do it, so I’m helping.”

Your face felt a bit hotter now as you avoided him, “I’m not that injured.” You muttered under your breath.

“It’s not the injury I’m worried about.” Xavier was already working your clothes off, tossing the fabrics you’d been wearing for days off to the laundry basket you kept in the bathroom. It was almost overflowing with clothes at this point, and while you wanted to be embarrassed being stripped bare in front of him, his eyes weren’t focused on your body. He was more focused on taking care of you, which you didn’t know if it made you feel better or worse.

“Then why are you fussing over me so much if it’s not because of the injury?” you finally asked, watching as he went to turn the shower on to a warm temperature.

He began taking his own clothes off as he answered you, “You haven’t been yourself lately. Tara had even come up to me and asked if you were alright. I was going to wait a bit and see if you’d reach out, but I can’t wait too long when I knew you were here by yourself.” He explained, “You haven’t answered my messages like normal, and any time I try to make plans you say your busy, I got worried.”

His words were earnest and made you feel even worse about yourself. Congratulations to you, you’ve managed to make the sweetest man you knew feel bad and worry over nothing.

“I’m sorry…” it was all you could say as he began dragging you into the shower. His hands were already working on getting your hair wet so he could properly wash it for you. He didn’t know your entire hair routine, but at the very least your scalp would be clean. Anything else could be taken care of when you felt better.

“Don’t apologize.” He said, his words a bit sterner, “I’m not upset with you. You’re allowed to reach out whenever you want, or not at all. It won’t change the fact that I care about you and wanted to make sure you were okay.” He explained.

“If I hadn’t been so distant though, you wouldn’t be so worried.” You explained, “It’s my fault.”

“Is it also your fault that your brain decided to make you sad for no reason?”

“Yes.”

“No, it isn’t.” He said, rinsing out shampoo from your hair and putting in some conditioner, “It’s not. Sometimes things just happen. I wanted to be here for you, it’s as simple as that. I’ll continue being here for you as well, whether your sad or happy, and that’s of my own free will. You have nothing to apologize for, besides, I like being able to take care of you like this. I wish it were under better circumstances, but that’s no fault of yours.” He explained.

You didn’t know what to say, honestly, so you didn’t say anything at all. Instead you just let him wash you, and then you were being wrapped up in a fluffy towel and dried. The hoodie he had some in was placed over you, the smell of him taking over your senses. He put on the blue shirt he always wore underneath it and finished getting you two dressed. He went back to carrying you, but instead of going to your bedroom, he carried you out into your living room.

There were a lot of things you expected, but seeing a giant blanket fort with fairy lights, the TV on with a movie already prepared, and some soothing smells coming from an oil diffuser that you were certain you didn’t own…it hadn’t been what you expected.

He placed you down onto the soft blankets and you noticed a box of mini cupcakes next to you, all of them having cute designs in an assortment of flavors, “Tara bought those for you,” Xavier said, “She said when you’re feeling better she wants to take you to this new bakery that opened up, that’s where those came from.”

“I should message her soon.”

“I’m sure she’d appreciate hearing from you, but for now.” You felt Xavier getting into the fort with you, pulling you against his chest as he started an older movie. It had cartoon characters and you recognized it as one of your favorites growing up. You were certain you had only spoke of it once with him, but of course he remembered, “Let’s just relax for the rest of the night, okay?” he said.

“Ya…I  like the sound of that.” You got out. You still felt a bit numb, still felt off. It did make you feel better though, especially when you saw some lights from his evol, a little bunny he made, bouncing around. It was enough to make you genuinely smile for the first time in a while. Perhaps…being taken care of wasn’t so bad.

[it-happened-one-fic]

Bridal Visions: Photoshoot #4 - Sumeru Bridal - Worse Things

Summary: You really shouldn’t have been surprised that Alhaitham looked quite so good in a suit, even if it was more lightly colored than his usual outfits. But then, you’d been a little bit too distracted by the vaguely flustering notion of posing in wedding clothes with him. But then, there certainly were worse things. And there were definitely worse partners.

Type: Female reader/ 800 Followers Event/ series/ sfw/ fluff/ Chiori is shipping/

Bridal Visions Series Masterlist

Word Count: 1251

I had to admit, it was odd seeing Alhaitham in a traditional wedding suit. And the fact that it was beige, paired with a dark green, rather than his usual black, made it even odder.

But even with those oddities, I couldn’t deny that he looked amazing. Perhaps even frustratingly so, considering he usually did look annoyingly good.

He’d been a clever choice for modeling wedding attire, and though I didn’t know her, I could tell that the designer, Chiori, was thrilled with his presence.

Traveler had picked well, and I had no doubts that they’d received the full reward for their commission of finding people to model these clothes simply because of Alhaitham. Though personally I still felt like Layla, Nilou, or Candace would have been far better choices than me.

So would Dehya, but she’d shot down that idea so quickly that there was no way she would’ve done this. Even if she did love clothes and would’ve doubtless enjoyed every second of this. 

But she had already made plans with Dunyarzad anyway…

So here I was in the deep green lehenga skirt and matching top that had been designed for the Sumeru section of this bridal line rather than any of the other women whom I felt would’ve been better choices.

And one thing about it, I could tell that no expense had been spared in the design of my outfit. 

At the very least, I was fairly certain that all of the jewelry I had on, from the necklace and earrings to the headpiece, was all pure gold.

I fidgeted with my sheer veil, doing my best to ignore the sheer drama of my outfit as I walked over to the steps where Alhaitham sat. Somehow wholly unbothered despite the fact that we were modeling incredibly nice bridal clothes as a couple.

And even with how gorgeous his outfit was, it was obvious that I was the centerpiece of the photo with how brilliantly colored my clothes were. As if the gold trim hadn’t been enough.

Which was perfectly ridiculous considering most anyone would be looking at his face rather than any part of my outfit.

“Alright, I want you to sit here on the step between his feet. When I give the signal, you two look at each other,” Chiori instructed as she gestured to the steps as Alhaitham looked up. Utterly relaxed as we made eye contact.

I sat carefully, following Chiori’s instructions to fan out the massive, and frankly speaking, gorgeous skirt before I was finally settled enough to glance back at Alhaitham as he finished adjusting the skirt so it rested on the steps to the left of him.

“You don’t usually wear clothes that are lightly colored, but they look really good on you,” I smiled as I spoke. Willing myself to relax and not think too much about any of this.

I was just here to model some wedding clothes with Alhaitham. Nothing more, and nothing less.

He met my gaze directly, his eyebrows lifting, and I felt my smile spread at his expression before I continued. Knowing perfectly well why he didn’t wear these sorts of clothes, “Though I will admit they are rather eye-catching.”

A smile almost flickered onto his face as a flash of amusement went through his eyes and his lips twitched, “I doubt anyone will be looking at me.”

His words matched my own thoughts regarding how utterly fancy my outfit was, but his phrasing was almost enough to make me flustered.

But I reined it in and shook my head, reaching out and patting his knee that was beside me affectionately, “Don’t sell yourself short.”

“And, freeze!” Both of us went still in the sudden directions, with me smiling teasingly up at him as he simply held eye contact.

I felt myself relax as soon as the flash from the camera had dimmed, and I could already hear both Chiori and the photographer talking, “It’s not bad, but…. I think it would be better to get the skirt in motion, don’t you?”

I glanced over to see Chiori staring at both of us pointedly, and I felt my eyebrows lift slightly before I glanced back over at Alhaitham, who’d already stood and was looking down at me.

He held out his hand, and I smiled half-awkwardly, quietly accepting it and standing alongside him as Chiori spoke, “Could you two move over here. I want you to hold her hand as she twirls….”

He nodded, still holding my hand as I gathered up my skirts in one hand as best I could before nodding over at him.

I followed his lead over to the side before letting go of my skirts and glancing over at Chiori, who’d already moved out of the line of the camera.

She nodded, and I spun as Alhaitham held up my hand. And at the last second I looked towards him. Smiling at the sensation of my skirts flaring around me as my eyes met his. 

A smile flickered across his face, either at my giddiness or the raw amount of fabric swirling around me as the golden embroidery and jewelry I wore twinkled in the sunlight.

I slowly spun to a stop as I heard the tell-tale click of the camera’s shutter, and I looked towards where Chiori stood with the photographer. My hand staying locked in Alhaitham’s, where they hung between us as we waited to see what she might say.

And after a moment she nodded and looked up at the two of us, “Looks good. I’ll send your payment through the Adventurer’s Guild.”

I felt myself smile, nodding as I exhaled in relief and started to turn to go before pausing. I frowned at my skirts as I bent slightly to once again gather the layers of green and gold.

Alhaitham watched me, tilting his head slightly, “Do you want me to walk you back to your changing area?”

I paused, blinking up at him in slight surprise before smiling and nodding. Feeling oddly touched by his offer even as I nodded, “Sure.”

“Hmm, while the two of you do that, we might get one more shot of you two walking away,” The photographer spoke up, and we both turned to look her way before I nodded.

“Feel free,” Alhaitham’s answer was nonchalant, and I felt myself smile. Snickering slightly at both his words and tone as he reached out and took my hand once more before we took off.

Walking away and largely ignoring both the camera and the photographer snapping pictures from behind us as I glanced at him, “So do you think you’ll want to go with beige and green when you get married?”

I grinned at him, teasing him slightly as he glanced my way before looking back forward with a single quirked eyebrow, “Who knows. Maybe we’ll get these clothes for free since we modeled them and they were made to our measurements.”

I blinked before feeling myself frown slightly at his words, hesitating slightly before I spoke, not fully voicing the implications of what that would mean, “That would mean we’d have matching bridal attire, though… Nice, matching bridal attire.”

He lifted one shoulder, perfectly unbothered in a way I honestly felt only he could be, “There could be worse things.”

I paused before feeling myself smile as he glanced my way, and I nodded as I felt a smile work its way back onto my face, “There certainly could be.”

If you would like to read more:

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Next: Coming Soon!

[best-seungkwality]

love to hate you

pairing: ellie williams x reader

summary: freshman mishaps led to the relationship you had with ellie today, but you don't know the other feelings she harbored for you.

contains/warnings: swearing, flirting, ooc fluff for ellie maybe? (but she was also so sweet in some scenes so cmon), enemies to lovers, college!au

word count: 2.7k

author's yap notes: i haven't actually immersed myself in tlou universe but like ellie's kinda cute or sumn and it takes a lot to inspire me into writing so im gna take advantage of this LMAO also i know abby n ellie r enemies but this is an au pls dont shoot me

would like to give credits for the dividers ofcc: c saradika, magnusthemes here in tumblr!

the sound of clicking against keyboards rang across the hall where your economics class was being held that early in the morning. honestly, it should've been banned to take such a complicated subject at an ungodly hour, and you haven't even began with the professor you got for this class. the only thing nice you got from this experience was being friends with someone as reliable as abby anderson.

"class dismissed."

abby was not the friendliest out there at first glance-- heck, you would've steered clear of her your whole college life if she didn't approach you first to make friends since she was in a different class from all her friends. you were just thankful you had someone to suffer through the class with at this point because you would not have survived otherwise.

if you were anything in college, you were the fastest campus leaver. but this was economics, a class where you actually had a friend to hang out with after enduring the lecture. only, you weren't feeling the extroverted introvert you were today, so you were already racking up your brain for some excuse to abby to go straight to your dorms while you two were on your way out.

"hey, n/n, raincheck on lunch today. need to meet up with someone for another project," abby told you, slinging her backpack on while messaging someone on her phone.

she truly was an angel in disguise. she made the excuse for you even without knowing you needed it.

"oh, no problem. was thinking of staying in in the dorm anywa-"

"abby, hey."

you looked over your taller friend's shoulders and saw the infamous ellie williams sauntering towards you two with her usual slightly grumpy expression. you clicked your tongue in annoyance, seeing the one person you hoped you wouldn't bump into at least this week. it was hell week in your department already, and you thought the fates had spared you because it was already friday, but you guessed they were saving their worst surprise for last.

"ah great," you mumbled under your breath, but abby still managed to catch it. she chuckled at the switch of expressions on both her friends' faces once they had seen each other and took a step back for their usual greeting-- or square off.

"what are you doing hogging abby again, princess pansy?" ellie stuck out her tongue, pocketing her hands.

you narrowed your eyes at her and attempted to slap her shoulder, but she was quick on her feet and moved away seconds before you could even land a finger on her hair. like a child, she repeated her earlier gesture, making abby step in front of you to block you. with your hands balled like that, she was sure you were about to commit a violation just to get even with ellie’s taunts. abby was well aware of your goals of graduating with latin honors, and there was no way she was going to let you waste that on a sick punch on ellie, no matter how much she wanted to see it.

you huffed and turned to look at abby instead, pretending that there was no ellie williams trying to annoy the hell out of you. “i seriously don’t know how you’re still friends with that loser.”

“you’re the loser!”

abby playfully pushed ellie aside for a moment before replying, “she’s rough around the edges, but she’s nice, trust me.”

a scoff left your mouth before you shook your head and muttered your goodbyes to your friend before walking away, ignoring ellie’s last words like a new agnostic to jesus.

you actually thought ellie was truly nice when you first laid your eyes on her until she proved that that stopped at her features (yes, you weren’t going to lie and say she didn’t look good— she was hot, for goodness’ sake). she had become your sworn enemy one day when you were partnered up randomly for a pairwork in one of your common general education subjects. you had tried your best to include her in the project and get her to help, but you would only see on her facebook stories that she was either clubbing, drinking, or doing other shit college students did. you had a social life too, but you would never inconvenience anyone for it unlike her.

that was why you thought it would be best to save all the receipts you had on her, deliver the report on your own, and submit the written work with the proof that you indeed tried your best to get ellie’s cooperation until you had the right to give up on her. the professor accepted your reason and didn’t dock off points on the rapport criterion, but ellie had other qualms. she had the audacity to object to what you had done, claiming you didn’t try enough, but your proof were too solid versus her claims, so ellie had failed that requirement and needed to take removals.

she confronted you about, and you two ended up bickering at the back of one of the oldest buildings in university so that neither of you would be documented. but even when the fight was kept hidden, it eventually became known in school because ellie had decided to humiliate you one lunch, telling people about how you threw her under the bus. being unable to deal with the public humiliation, you ran out of there and swore ellie williams was nothing to you, no matter how hot of a person she was. she was an asshole to you forever, end of story.

you entered your shared room with a scowl on your face, bringing out your laptop and opening up a streaming site to watch modern family. you deserved to cool off with your comfort sitcom before delving into the pile of homework you had to do for the day.

ellie typed furiously on her laptop, mind still fresh from her encounter with you yesterday. it annoyed her so much that she couldn’t even cram her lab report with abby in peace, and the deadline was in two hours! god, if she could just get in your face and-

she froze. she knew exactly where that thought was already headed before it even finished. she groaned out loud, even more annoyed this time, which caught her friend’s attention. abby raised an eyebrow, but she simply let out a ‘tch’ and tried to continue filling in the tables with values she knew were going to yield an extraordinary error. she just couldn’t get you out of her mind even if she wanted to— even if you loathed you. there was something about you and your little interactions that excited the hell out of her that she felt she even loved to hate you because of it.

she wanted to punch herself. that was gradeschool ellie discovering she liked women. why can she not get a grip now?

“i don’t know how you put up with miss uptight two days a week. i can’t even stand her for a minute,” ellie began, eyebrows furrowing, but she wasn’t sure whether the frustration was towards her missing the deadline or the girl that would not leave her head.

“still thinking about her, i see,” abby teased, humming a romantic tone right after. “just admit you’re down bad and would like her on your bed, el.”

her head shot up, face obviously distressed at what she just heard. “gross! grow up, abby.”

abby rolled her eyes and looked up from her screen. “you grow up. you obviously have feelings for her. you can fool anyone but me. you like y/n.”

ellie felt that she was getting too red, so she shut herself up first before she could say something that abby would obviously know how to retort at. it was like she was an open damn book whenever this certain friend of hers was around. maybe it had to do with the fact that they went through shit first before becoming people they feel could be relied on. that, or ellie was really just that easy to read.

“what even happened that y/n hates your guts that much?”

she stopped typing and slumped down in her seat. “i messed up little miss perfect’s sched then humiliated her for it.” she sighed at abby’s raised eyebrow. “i promised to help with one project we were partnered up for, but i was a stupid freshman who just wanted to have fun, so she ended up adjusting her whole month to do everything by herself. i hated how she ratted me out because i thought that was so uncool in college, so i humiliated her in a college cafeteria. are you satisfied?”

her friend shrugged her shoulders. “nah. i haven’t heard the part where you said you were sorry. and why you still hate her.”

ellie pulled the hood of her jacket up and then on the strings to squish the clothing over her face, hiding in embarrassment. “i act like i hate her. it’s the only way i can talk to her now. i haven’t really said sorry too.”

abby laughed, making her jaw drop slightly in offense.

“she was right. you’re such a loser.”

speaking of who was right, ellie, from the corner of her eyes, saw you dragging yourself into the same library they were in. (she hated how automatic it was for her at this point to catch her silhouette). apparently, her college’s library was your favorite library, and she couldn’t blame you. it had good comfort rooms, chilly ac units, endless charging ports, working areas for all kinds of people, and you could bring coffee in it.

she watched the girl begrudgingly walk towards one of the desks for sharing, making sure you got the outlet that came with it. it seemed to be your spot because knowing you somehow, you would need optimal conditions to work.

“who- oh, your crush is here,” abby cheered quietly, making ellie clamp a hand over her noisy mouth. they nonetheless got the stare from the young librarian, who seemed to be stricter than the senior librarians. they both nodded their heads in apologies before ellie could look over to where you were again.

“you should talk to her. ask her if she wants coffee or something, cos she’s not looking too good.”

abby looked at her like she was nuts. “why are you ordering me around as if i’m your servant. go do that, since you’re so lovestruck and concerned for her.”

“isn’t she your friend?”

“yeah, but she needs a lover more.”

“shut up!”

ellie groaned, planting her face onto the laptop, not minding how much it hurt. these moments reminded her how much of an ass abby could be to her. but it looked like she wasn’t going to budge in her seat, because she was now back to typing away on her laptop.

hesitantly, she got up and walked towards your table, trying to act confident even though she knew you might eat her alive with your smart mouth. god, you could just e-

she shook her head, hoping those thoughts would be gone too. she was standing by your table, hoping as well that she didn’t look that much of a creep from an outsider’s perspective. your back was facing her, since you were face down and probably resting for a bit before locking in for whatever you had to finish. ellie mustered her courage, took in a huge breath, then tapped your shoulder lightly. she became a bit bewildered when you had not responded to the fifth tap, wondering if you had supersight at the back of your head to know you should be ignoring the person bothering you.

but she noticed how limp you hand had gotten, and her eyes widened, rushing to your other side. if she had not seen a person passed out medically, she wouldn’t have been able to tell that y/n probably blacked out from some reason, but thankfully, she knew. within seconds, she had already scooped you up and gathered you in her arms, with abby shouting in the library what the heck she was doing, but she could care less. you were her priority.

that was why you looked like hell the moment you entered. your dark eyebags confirmed that you probably overexerted yourself, leading to the blackout. she knew you were a high achiever, but she didn’t know you were a stupid one. how could you let your academics take control of your life to the point that you would sacrifice your health? she was going to have to speak to you about this when you were better. preferably the moment you woke up.

but right now, she had rushed inside the infirmary and laid you down on one of the beds. a nurse thankfully came to check on you at once calling the doctor to diagnose what was wrong. after pacing around the medical professionals, ellie heard them say that you were very dehydrated and decided to inject IV fluids in you to aid your body. they quickly got to work so you could recover faster.

ellie thanked the doctor and nurses and sat down beside you, taking your hand. “god you fucking scared me,” she muttered under her breath, bringing your hand to her cheek. “for someone at the top of your classes, you’re awfully stupid.” she didn’t realize her scolding would happen even before you woke up.

“you’re seriously gonna be the death of me. i can’t even take care of you the way i want to until your unconscious,” ellie looked at you worriedly. “god, let me take care of you, stubborn-head. give me a chance, i’ll make everything right. i sound like a pussy. i just like you that much, okay.”

your eyes fluttered open at the confession, locking them with hers at that moment.

“…what?”

ellie dropped your hand and stood up at once. “what?” she covered her face in embarrassment, immediately turning red. “how are you awake so fast?”

your eyebrows crossed. “do you want me to stay half-dead or something?”

“no! i meant- ugh, i’m not prepared for this.”

“for what? for declaring your love for me?”

ellie gasped, looking offended. “i didn’t say ‘love’ yet!” she pointed at you as if accusing you of something. “ugh, you’re so annoying.”

you sat up with a small smile, and she knew you knew you had the upperhand in this situation. this was just turning out to be the worst week ellie had had. if she knew you were going to here her random confession, she would’ve prepared some more. you just had to be awake right now.

“well, sorry,” you said, deflating a bit. ellie panicked once again and finally sat down. she took your hand gently and let out a breath.

“i’m sorry, just-…” she looked you in the eyes (this is so cheesy, she hated it) and hoped the sincerity would reach you, “i’m sorry for what happened during freshman year. i was stupid, and i can’t take that shit back. but i’ve liked you for the longest time, and god knows this stupid little crush has made me daydream about you at least thrice a day, and i guess what i’m saying is— god, will you be with me? even if it takes some time?”

you smiled wryly. “the famous ellie williams rambling… i could get used to this.”

ellie groaned out loud and smushed her face into the infirmary’s bed. but she was just hiding her smile because she herself didn’t know that someone could make her ramble stupidly like this. you were well aware of your power over her too.

“look at me ellie.” like a pet, she did. “i’d be lying if i said i wasn’t attracted to you. i honestly would like to like you, but we have to do so much work, especially that i don’t feel that resolved yet with what happened back then. i know you felt like i blindsided you, but i suffered a lot even though i know i did nothing wrong. it’s gonna take a lot of time. are you willing to put in that kind of work with me?”

ellie brought your hand to her cheeks again. “no doubt about it.”

a wide, genuine smile finally broke out your face. “alright. i love to hate you, but i’d like to love you only now, williams.”

she returned the gesture, giving a light kiss on your knuckles. “love to hate ya, but i love to love you more, princess.”

[planetaryaether]

I swear I have the capacity to be normal about things. with that being said I have many thoughtsTM about today's JF2 episode (#29).

Duncan volunteering to send his black lotus to Rythian as well is something that can be so personal. To over analyze it, although he says it is in case "the first one gets lost" they have no reason to think that items wouldn't get to their destined locations, so the choice reads much more as a gesture of friendship. After the events of Flux Buddies (no spoilers) Duncan has had to learn to face the consequences of his own actions in a way that he simply had not during Blackrock - which at the end of the day was the thing that drove a wedge between him and Rythian.

By not being able to accept that his actions led to genuine harm (intended or not) to those he called his friends signaled to Rythian that he cannot trust others/especially Duncan again. This perceived threat of future betrayal combined with Rythian thinking that Zoey had joined forces with Duncan and the nuke reveal all served to retraumatize Rythian, placing a wedge in their relationship that has not been able to be addressed due to the end of Season 2 and Rythian deciding to give up on any relationship (friend or enemy) with Duncan ('the opposite of love is not hatred, it is indifference' etc etc).

So Rythian choosing to send this task to the JF2 crew, almost certainly knowing that Duncan is among them, shows that Rythian has been able to grow since we have last seen him. He has been able to finally process, at least to a degree, what he has been through and perhaps is able to understand why Duncan acted the way that he did - that he never meant to cause harm but was terrified for his own safety both in the old and tekket worlds.

Duncan being the one, in episode 28, to want to listen to the message (as well as including the purple flag 'for Rythian') shows how much he has also changed. That he also understands, at least to a degree, where Rythian was coming from and why he did what he did AND that he doesn't hold that against him. All of this happening independently from each other until now. Rythian made the first move at reconciliation with entrusting Duncan (and the others of course) with a task that was important to him (but at the same time it is a task with a low level of responsibility so that if Duncan did not want to accept this peace offering of sorts, no harm would come to Rythian/Zoey). And Duncan, by sending his black lotus after barry has already sent one, is a clear acceptance of that gesture. More than that, it is returning a peace offering of his own. (and to REALLY over analyze, sending flowers is a sign of an apology with black/dark lotus flowers in multiple cultures representing rebirth).

Even if we never get anything else Blackrock related (which I am of course not counting on getting anything more), this serves as a wonderful epilogue to their dynamic, especially with some of the main themes of Blackrock being about the cycle of violence and the question of 'can you heal from your traumas before they destroy what you care about most?' (mostly focusing on platonic/romantic relationships) with the answer being that 'your actions will change the relationship from what it otherwise would have been, but if and only if both parties want to heal the relationship and put in the necessary time and effort to do so, then the relationship can survive'. And here we are getting a sign that both of them are willing to do something to salvage their friendship. It will never be what it was in the Old World, but the friendship is not gone, it just has a new starting point.

[tetric-electric]

tbh I think that the way Ashley Graves is so mischaracterized by the fandom says a lot about how people view grooming survivors (and autistic people). Let me explain:

Obviously, huge spoilers for Chapters 1 and 2 of The Coffin of Andy and Leyley. This is just a psychoanalysis of Ashley, however to do so involves a LOT of lore.

To start off, I'm just gonna put a trigger warning right here for LOTS of talk about grooming, as well as neglect and ableism. If you feel uncomfortable reading about these subjects you are more than welcome to click off. Please stay safe.

What made me decide to do this rant:

A few months ago, I got a text from someone who was upset about me having Ashley as my PFP. I was initially like "okay, they don't like TCOAAL, so what", and then immediately after I got a text from them responding to an Instagram story I had basically saying that Ashley was "so me fr fr".

"Let me guess, you also kin Valentino"

Valentino, from Hazbin Hotel, as in the blatant physically + verbally + sexually abusive piece of shit who is in no way redeemable.

I had brushed this off as "maybe they just don't like Ashley", until they listed why.

...all of the reasons they gave fell under the main categories of "she's clingy, she's flirtatious with Andrew, and her sprites are made for the male gaze."

The male gaze thing was because she didn't appear to be wearing a bra. Which like... sexualizing much? For fuck's sake, she's locked in an apartment about to die, do you think wearing a bra would be a priority?

Secondly, her behaviour.

Admittedly, she's not a great person. But that's because she never learnt how to be.

In-game there is so so so SO much emphasis on how she acts childish, and how literally no one gives two shits about her. It doesn't take a professional psychologist to figure out that she never was able to develop properly. That's why she's so clingy, because Andrew is the one person who at least pretends to care about her. And then there's her flirtatiousness.

It's revealed in several flashbacks that the only way she could ever get Andrew's attention is to do something fucked up, as seen by her as a child killing Nina. Andrew then gives her attention for this, which establishes the connection that homicide -> attention, and attention = care and love and affection.

Due to the fact that she never had any friends, she never was able to have any type of love (whether that be platonic, romantic, etc.) reciprocated. Except for Andrew.

Andrew, throughout the game, proceeds to subtly encourage Ashley's flirtatiousness. She has no reference of this type of stuff not being okay, and thus her social isolation made her the perfect target.

Social isolation, gaslighting, coercion, threatening to hurt the person if they don't do the desired behaviour. You know what those are?

Textbook signs of grooming.

I realized that people hate Ashley so much because since she's not aware of her situation being bad, she's unable to come to that realization. She's not perfect, let alone a 'good victim'. She only sexualizes herself because that's how she learned she can get affection and care.

So... where does the whole "Ashley is autistic" theory come from, then?

As stated by Renee Graves, Ashley was "a lot of work" as compared to Andrew (guess what, kids take work). Now, this alone wouldn't be any indicator. However...

It's shown that she was unable to make friends because she was "weird" and clearly didn't have an understanding of social cues and rules (which honestly hit close to home for me). It's also shown that she problem-solves differently (or at least differently than Andrew, who is seen as the "logical sane one") and also seems to be more of a hands-on learner (I forget if there's any actual proof of this, however upon analysis she is an ESFP, and ESFPs tend to be more hands-on (yes I'm aware that MBTI types are the psychology equivalent of horoscopes, but there is some truth to them)).

Not to mention how she's shown to have extreme emotions, and tends to have meltdowns (I apologize if this isn't the right word, I'm not sure what the term would be). The extreme emotions part can be part of how blatantly of a pwBPD she is, but BPD also tends to have a higher frequency of showing up in autistic people, especially autistic women.

In conclusion, people hate Ashley Graves because of how well-integrated ableism is in society, as well as the concept of a 'perfect victim'.

[cherrirui-official]

Friendlocke Violet Gijinkas (Part 7/7)

HOLY SHIT CHAT THE FINAL THREE WE'RE HERE WE'RE IN THE ENDGAME RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!! /POS

All gijinkas linked below (in order of canon catch order) vvv

(Part One) (Part Two) (Part Three) (Part Four) (Part Five) (Part Six)

!! These will contain personal headcanons I have for the cast, little fun facts, and also spoilers for Friendlocke Violet (for both the edited vids and the streams) !!

@saltydkart-reblogs

Designs under the cut!

COOKIE:

If you aren't born with immortality, then there are ways to take it from those who were. However, you must make sure that you don't mess up when doing so. If you do, then you better PRAY that the other party is merciful to you… whoever Cookie messed with wasn't so merciful.

Cookie has been around for at least a century. Years ago, he was cursed to age rapidly, with the only thing that can temporarily reverse his aging being the blood of other pokemon. When Peppy found him he was only a week old, take that information with what you will.

Cookie's name came from the fact that he loved to bake before he was cursed. Now he's far to busy to pick it up as a hobby again.

Luke was the one that gave Cookie his IPad as a gift, much to the dismay of Sara. He likes to watch anything he can find on there along with Puppie (though they stuff they watch is moderated of course). Cookie has never once let go of that IPad.

Cookie is very quick to learn things, but his attention span can be a little short at times. No shame in that!

Cookie has only ever had two fears: death and fires.

DA CHEFF:

Da Cheff has his very own restaurant! However it is impossible to to go there without flying... huh.

Da Cheff can speak in multiple languages, this is good for customers who don't primarily speak english.

The horns on his head can switch between horns and wings, it depends on the day.

Most of his cooking materials was made by Da Cheff himself! Of course, only the best chef needs the best cooking utensils, and only Da Cheff knows how the best utensils should be made. He won't take anything less.

Has horrible eyesight, he needs to keep his glasses on at all times, otherwise he won't be able to see at all.

Very VERY harsh when it comes to critiquing others' cooking. So harsh to the point that everyone agrees that it's best to just let Da Cheff cook for everyone rather than vice versa. Thankfully Da Cheff is more than happy to cook for his friends!

PUPPIE:

Puppie isn't computer-savy, to say the least, however she is really good when it comes to modern phones. She even has one herself!

Wears her raincoat at all times because she doesn't like getting rainwater all over her.

It is unknown why Puppie was alone when the others found her, especially when she comes from a HUGE family of bellibolts, but she doesn't seem to be too upset over that. Or rather she just doesn't dwell too much on it. Who knows?

Her ears and tail are little lights that can float around. She likes placing her ears over her raincoat hood because "she looks like a frog!"

A fan of TONS of different celebrities, from Ariana Grande to Hatsune Miku. Ask her about any of them and you WILL be forced to listen to her ramble on about said celebrity.

Her favorite move, Zap Cannon, is exactly what it says on the tin. Yup, Puppie owns a cannon (well, its more of a rocket launcher than a cannon... but whatever) and knows how to use it. Thanks Pastey.

AND WITH THAT I'M DONE!! YEAAAAH!! If ur here then thank you so much!! I put a lot of work into these so it makes me very happy to see people enjoy my funny little gijinkas for the funny pokemon rp series lol! It genuinely means a lot to me :]

This isnt the last time im posting abt friendlocke tho haha. Be on ur toes. Be ready. /silly

[azelsdoormat]

Azel Radwan Main Story

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This translation is fanmade and strictly for entertainment purposes only. All media and original content belong to Cybird. Do not use, claim as your own, repost or reupload onto other platforms, reblogs are welcome.

<< Azel’s POV >>

True love— to me, is the most evil of curses that must never befall me. 

I have yet to come to know love.

But I want to someday fall in love and understand what it is. 

A passionate love like a rose set ablaze, and a fierce love that stays on for eternity like a woven tale. 

...

<< Emma’s POV >>

??? (Azel): I have some unfortunate news for you, who yearns for love and thirsts for knowledge of what it is.

???: Love is not the grand blessing it is often proclaimed to be. 

???: At the very least, love is something I would very much rather do without.

???: — For I am a god incapable of loving people. 

...

Clavis: Emma, you’re going to Tanzanite soon, right? 

Luke: Honestly, I didn't expect that you’d go without him tagging along. 

Rio: I really do want to go with her!! What if something happens to her when I’m not there…!? 

Rio: But if staying behind will help Emma feel more at ease on her trip, then I… I’ll… 

Clavis: Haha, you can be rest assured about that.

Clavis: Because we’ll be her bodyguards in your place. 

(Seriously, what's going on here!?) 

After fulfilling my duty as “Belle”, I set off for the dazzling kingdom of Tanzanite with the bookstore’s owner and self-proclaimed bodyguards—. 

That land was home to the one and only god revered by all its inhabitants. 

…

Azel: If you’re interested, I could divine your future for you.

Azel: Please, allow me to repay you for going out of your way to come to a place like this. 

I thought he was a benevolent and kind god. 

However—... 

…

Azel: It’s time for collection. 

Emma: C-collection of?

Azel: Don't tell me you thought I performed the divine art of fortune-telling for free?

Emma: But you said it was a token of gratitude…! 

Azel: Shall I let you know what happens when you defy me?  

His true nature turned out to be that of a money-obsessed and ill-natured god!? 

Fooled by his scheming antics and caught in his trap like a prey, I fell into a life of servitude, being worked to the bone like a slave… 

…

Azel: Be that as it may, I have another errand for you.

Emma: Another one!? I just came from shopping.

Azel: How pitiful. But I’ll have you remember that you’re indebted to me. 

Azel: You would be spared from running any more errands if you could repay your debt in full, however…

Azel: That's not at all possible, now is it? 

…

Azel: Delicious. 

Emma: Snacking is forbidden! 

Azel: Doesn’t matter whether I eat now or later. 

Emma: It’s bad manners. 

Azel: Preaching manners to a god? 

Emma: It doesn't matter whether you’re a god or human. Your feelings will never be conveyed effectively if you don't speak up. 

Emma: Sneaking bites of food or using me as a shield to fend off women, I’m not happy about either of those! 

But as I spent more time with this living god in his isolated castle in the desert, I came to realise something. 

…

Emma: First of all, you have an abnormal sense of personal boundaries. 

Azel: Huh? What does that mean? 

Emma: No one behaves like this with someone who's merely an acquaintance.

Emma: You said that you’d “hate if I fell for you”, and yet you have… a strange sense of personal boundaries. 

Emma: I’m surprised because you do many things that people normally don't. 

Azel: … Because I’m a god. 

Emma: That explains why you’re so detached from reality— 

Emma: *incoherent words* 

Azel: (muttering under his breath) —... I only did it because you looked cold. 

…

Emma: … By any chance, did the living god himself carry me to bed? 

Azel: … No.

Emma: Then what about the part where I was clinging onto you— 

Azel: That one is true.

Emma: “That one”? 

Azel: … 

(... I think I might be starting to understand Azel.) 

Before I knew it, an unfamiliar feeling began to sprout in my heart. A feeling different from the frustration I’d felt before… 

That feeling marked the beginning of a tragedy. 

…

Emma: … Countless people are suffering right before your eyes. 

Azel: And what about it? I’ve said it before, haven't I? I’ve long been disgusted by humans. 

Azel: If you think god is supposed to be some kind of benevolent entity, you make me laugh. 

Azel: Whatever happens to mere mortals is none of my concern. 

…

Azel: Akatsuki, I advise you to leave Tanzanite before the full moon. 

Akatsuki: … Are things about to get worse?

Azel: Indeed. It won’t be long before they do. 

The changes in the world grew closer with every passing moment. 

And then, the moment I discovered a truth hidden deep within the isolated castle in the desert — I came to know about a “curse”. 

…

Azel: You touched what you should never have.

Azel: Did you think you could get away with it unscathed? 

(After crying my heart out, I have to make a choice.) 

(Will this be where I bid farewell to Azel? Or…) 

…

Azel: When and where did I start going down the wrong path? I never intended to love you, not even in the slightest… 

Azel: I’ve lost my way… how terrible. And the worst part is that I can bring myself to hate it. 

…

The god started off praying to never know love, and eventually wished to know what love was in the end.

Is true love a curse that turns people into beasts, or—? 

[talesfromawannabewriter]

@things-arent-what-they-seem66

Adam: I’m happy I really am Lucifer. I’ve wanted to have a baby WITH you for the longest time. I’ve wanted you to be by my side when I was still carrying Cain, I especially would have loved you during the birth.

Lucifer: Well now I’m here and I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be by your side no matter what, I’m going to make sure you have the easiest pregnancy yet. I will be at your back and call. Whatever you need, if even it’s a slight discomfort I’ll help you through it.

Adam couldn’t be more grateful than in that moment. Each pregnancy back on Earth was hard for him and his body. Mainly because all modern day luxuries weren’t even a thought back then. It was hard because they also had so many kids to look after and with Eve working the fields and bringing home their meals Adam had to be the main caretaker of their children. It was only when their children started to take on responsibilities that Adam was relieved of the stress. Until of course the next batch of pups came.

It also reminded him of how quickly the pups had to grow up. Their life demanded so much that they didn’t even got proper childhoods. If they were old enough to hold a rake or any kind of tool, could herd some kind of animal, hunt, cook, sew, whatever it was then that was what they did until dusk. Adam and Eve had always felt terrible about it, wishing that things were different. Now, at least for Adam, they were.

This child would have an actual childhood. Raised in the lap of luxury. Never having to worry about their next meal or if there would be enough. He may not know what Charlie’s childhood was like but he doubt that she was ever starving or completely miserable.

…wait

Oh Mary mother of the holy Lord himself. He forgot all about Lucifer’s other child, the one that has a personal vendetta against him, and for good reason.

The First Anti-Christ

@things-arent-what-they-seem66

(excuse me for the long prologue)

Anti Christ, the child of the fallen one, the devil. Everyone knows of the name and what it means. However, they don’t know of WHO that child is do they? Everyone thinks that the child will make themselves known as they bring on the end of humanity. What people don’t realize is that the anti-Christ has already walked upon the Earth.

In fact he was the first to be born on the planet. You see he was one of the very first humans. The very first child and son of the mother of humanity, Adam the first omega. His name was Cain.

Now many must be wondering on how this came to be. Why did it happen. How and why did the first omega manage to give birth to the fallen one’s offspring. All will be explained here, in this story.

A long, long, long, time ago when the Earth was still young the creator of it had decided on what its final inhabitants would be. They were called humans, the very first of their kind. He made them into something special. With their names came their designations.

Lilith the first woman and alpha

Adam the first man and omega

He made the two to be companions, to watch over another as one would for a friend or as he hoped like siblings. However, his other creations had other plans. While the Lord was busy attending to his purpose of watching over the universe. The other creations, the angels went down to the humans and they told the two that they were more than just companions. They told them that they were mates and they would bring forth true humanity.

Both were confused and asked how? The angels told them that once a month Adam’s womb would welcome Lilith’s seed and instructed him for when the time came for Adam to lay on his back and to spread his legs for his mate. When they heard of this both were rather disgusted by it. They hadn’t known each other for long but they simply weren’t compatible in that way. They couldn’t even bother to be friends for they both had too many differences that often clashed with each other.

While Adam was energetic and outgoing, Lilith was reserved and careful. It would often cause arguments from the two, especially when it came to their duties. Their first duties, of naming and caring for everything in the garden. Lilith thought Adam to be immature. Adam thought Lilith to be demanding. Both seemed to think that nothing was ever good enough for each person. One thing they both could agree on is that they did not wish to be mates.

Still Adam did not wish to upset the angels and simply bowed his head and nodded submissively. They began to explain other sets of rules that both were to follow. Lilith as the alpha was to always provide and care for her omega. Adam as the omega was to always follow her way and submit to his alpha. Both were to bring children into this world.

Lilith would become the father of humanity. While Adam would become the mother of humanity.

Lilith, disgusted at the thought, disagreed wholeheartedly. She fled from the garden and away from the omega. Hoping to never set another foot in there again. She was found by someone, an angel of the Lord himself, whom she would soon call a friend and sometime after that a husband. Though she didn’t trust him at first she eventually told the angel of why she ran from paradise.

The angel was shocked and confused. Why would his siblings do that? Why would they mess with his Father’s creations that way? He wanted so badly to go up there and tell his Father of what they had done to Lilith. He knew that they would somehow find a way to pin the blame onto him.

That is why he came up with a new plan. To meet and talk to Lilith’s supposed mate. What he didn’t know at the time was that the omega was actually his true mate.

He crept into the garden, careful not to aware the elders of his presence. What awaited him in the garden was not what he expected. A true beauty, one that took his breath away. Though he had thought Lilith to be pretty. She was nothing compared to Adam.

His soft brown hair, honeyed eyes that sparkled, and tan skin that was splattered by freckles. His Lucious curves was enough to drive him insane. The angel managed to open his mouth and introduced himself. His name was Lucifer, the angel of light and God’s most favored son.

[bwat5-blog]

Vi and Jinx: Listen To Jinx

**Spoilers For All of Arcane**

The relationship between Vi and Jinx is one of most important parts of this story. It is immensely complex, tragic and heartwarming, the tale of these sisters as they fight to find their way back to one another over the course of this story is truly incredible. I have personally written a full analyses on their story, as have several others. This, is not that. Put simply, if I see one more "Vi got what she deserved" post regarding Vi getting hit by Caitlyn, or her running from Jinx's bombs, or whichever example people want to misinterpret to prove their point, I am going to lose it.

So! What this is, is a hard and fast list of some statements regarding the two of them that will likely ruffle some feathers. I would hope anyone reading my writing by now knows I love both of these characters, and understand the nuance in these situations. But people need some serious perspective. These events will be leading up to season 2, act 3, because at that point they are pretty much on the same page.

**There is nuance and deeper meaning in each of these situations. There are many more things each character does both good, and bad. Neither of them are perfect. But sometimes boiling things down is how we get to the crux of the issue**

Season 1: Act 1

There is not a single shred of evidence Vi was anything other than loving and supportive sister before the night of Vander's death.

Vi was completely correct in leaving Powder behind for the mission.

Vi did not make Jinx. An otherwise loving older sister losing control during a single traumatic event did not completely warp her little sisters mental health. Now seven years as the daughter of a violent drug lord however?

Vi "left" Powder because she was kidnapped as a minor and thrown into a violent and abusive prison without cause for seven years.

From everything we were shown, if Powder had listened their family would have made it out.

Season 1: Act 2

Jinx murders 4 firelights, 1 who she thought was Vi, and six enforcers all in 1 episode.

Jinx is a loving daughter to the man who tried to (and mostly succeeded) kill her entire family and took her for his own.

Jinx puts her gatling gun under Vi's chin during their first reunion.

Vi is stabbed, beaten and chased all in her attempt to get to Jinx.

During their reunion, Vi immediately embraces Jinx, tells her whatever she had to do was for survival, tries to take responsibility for what happened, and fights back to back with her.

Season 1: Act 3

Jinx kills several enforcers and Marcus on bridge

Jinx actively tries to kill Caitlyn and Vi both

Jinx almost kills both herself and Ekko

Jinx abducts Caitlyn naked from her bathroom, makes her put on her enforcer uniform, ties her and gags her with a smiling mask so she can try and convince Vi to kill her

Jinx brutally knocks out Caitlyn

Jinx kills Silco

Jinx murders 3 Piltover counselors including Caitlyn's mom in front of her

Vi insists she can help her sister before the bridge attack

Vi is going back to the undercity to find Jinx before the bombs go off on the bridge

Vi completely blames herself for what her sister has become when they are in Caitlyn's room.

Vi refuses to kill Caitlyn, but tries to get Jinx to come away with her so they can be family again.

Season 2: Act 1

Jinx expresses knowing she could die at any time as "best feeling in the world'

Jinx declare intent to kill Vi

Jinx intentionally lures Cait and Vi into ventilation chamber for battle

jinx encourages Vi to kill her when time comes

Jinx is the only reason Isha is in danger to begin with. She had no business being here.

Vi joines enforcer taskforce: Hunting Shimmer, Chem Barrons, and Jinx

Vi stops fighting when Jinx says she is ready to die.

Vi stops Caitlyn from hurting Isha

Season 2: Act 2

Jinx knew Vi was in the pits, and came to see her at least twice before finally coming to her over Vander. Made no move that audience is shown to help despite obvious decline

Jinx was hiding during entire occupation. She "busted half of Zaun out of Stillwater" because of Isha. Not her people.

Jinx being the symbol on the painting with Vander is laughable. She is known as the daughter of the man who killed Vander and the rest of his kids.

Jinx tells Isha last time she and Vi fought she kicked Vi's ass. Jinx was on her back wanting to die.

JINX IS THE REASON ISHA IS IN DANGER. SHE HAD NO BUSINESS BEING HERE. (Vander hunt and commune both)

Vi comes with Jinx after literally everything above

Vi saves Isha from Vander

Vi trusts Jinx and lowers her gloves.

Vi throws her body over Jinx's to protect her from explosion

In the end, the sisters have found each-other again and accepted who they have become. They are both flawed, they both mistakes,and their story is incredibly moving. Because ultimately their love for eachother perseveres even when it seems like they have totally lost one another.

So why did I do all of this? Because regardless of circumstance, of nuance, of deeper meaning, when you boil it all down Vi is a loving and protective older sister who goes about a million miles past reasonable trying to help her little sister, more than a few times to her own detriment. And guess what? Jinx knows that. She specifically tells Vi to start living for herself and stop feeling guilty over being happy, and being loved. And her last action (as far as we know) in the world of the living, is to save Vi's life. Seems like she knew what an amazing sister Vi always was. Maybe some of yall should listen to her.

[rjshope]

gifmaker / cc wrapped 2024!

I was tagged by most beloveds @raplinenthusiasts @cosmicdreamgrl @jkvjimin @cordiallyfuturedwight @yooboobies @taehyunghobi and @jinstronaut(thank you guys🖤🌷) to share my most popular posts and my favorite ones.

Let's go!

january:

⟡ Yoongi with painted hands // he's cute here no arguments from me ♡ adorkable namgi // lol ♡ that Namjoon live // i'm still recovering btw

february:

⟡ happy Hope on the street♡ rapline saving Jin // i love how you can see their personalities here ♡ Jimin as the cutest dinosaur ever // esp soft for this one

march:

⟡ thank you fo being my artist Jimin live // he said very important thing here ♡ namjin bickering (+Hobi enjoying the show) // i live for bickering namjin ♡ Hobi being Yoongi's favorite seat // yoongi never beating lil meow meow allegations

april:

⟡ Tae and his big brown eyes // y'all just couldn't resist him could you?😁 ♡ that Malta Namjoon // despite the fact that this is my least fav bv season i have a soft spot for this gifset ♡ Dimple gifset for Kayla's birthday // very special work for my very special person🌷

may:

⟡ vibing Namjoon // lmao this is just two simplest b&w gifs and what have y'all done??? 🙈🙈 ♡ namjin laughing // luv my soft boys ♡ Nuts MV // i'm just a weak woman what do you want from me

june:

⟡ SYS Final Kim Taehyung // i'm happy with it, i love this gifset very much <3 ♡ hyung line dynamic in a nutshell // they never fail to crack me up lmao ♡ laughing namgi // so wholesome i love them so much!

july:

⟡ Jin being a good infuence on Namjoon pt.2 // i carried the thought of this gifset in my head for two years, it displays perfectly why these two are so important to me and it's nice to see this post being so appreciated ♡ Hobi being handsome to infinity and beyond // i'm still lost for words you know ♡ Tae gifset for Annie's birthday // this one is very important to me bc it took a lot of my time, blood and sweat to make it, and seeing it floped breaks my heart. Well at least Annie liked it, that's the most important thing. ♡ namjin "revenge is sweet" gifset // if you hear someone making weird evil giggling noises that's me

august:

⟡ jihope being jihope // this is not a gifset this is a happy pill ♡ hyung line from memories of 2015 // i hope i don't need to explain this?!?! ♡ RJ comforting rapline // i'm still sobbing

september:

⟡ namgi dealing with their Jin-hyung // lol#2 ♡ Namjoon birthday compilation gifset // it was my first time doing something like this and i really love how it turned out ♡ maknae line for Pat's birthday // i know this is my post but whenever i see it i sit and look at it in awe (i'm allowed to be proud with myself from time to time) ♡ sope flirting // they are so married it's annoying

october:

⟡ Jin and his mindset // if more of us were like him it would be a merrier place (yes, quoting king of my heart here) ♡ namseok gifset for Julia's birthday // i had so much fun making these ♡ peach Namjoon // iykyk ♡ winter package 2020 hyung line // rare photoshoot with just four of them in the same unit

november:

⟡ Jin, Joon, the saxophone and Jimmy Fallon // totally agree with y'all😌 ♡ Bangbangcon namgi // Yoongi's smile i'm gonna sob ♡ Namjoon and his healing smile // i miss him so much ♡ Jin performing Another Level // i do not make performances gifset often and this is a good song and a good performance and i love how these look

december:

⟡ cute barefaced Yoongi from ITS1 // lol we all are so whipped for him ♡ Jin for Dicon // playing with color isolation was fun ♡ soft (and a bit drunken) Hobi from ITS1 // the look on his face make my heart flutter ♡ cuteness agression namgi // i can't stop giggling, Yoongi your crush is showing ♡ ON Kinetic Manifesto Film Shoot Sketch | Hyung line // my boys looking fine as hell, that's it that's the tweet

Idk if it me or you really can see how my january gifs look different from december gifs. It didn't happen on purpose, but it's something that is interesting to see.

It fun to see how my year started with 2019 year and with MOTS: Persona era. And now i'm closing it by entering BE and Life Goes On era *breathes out* Yeah, life goes on and my journey goes on as well😁

Anyway it was my second year here and i'd like to thank you all for staying with me, for you support, for your reblogs and comments, it means a lot💖 I enjoyed this ride, let's continue next year with the boys!

tagging @namchyoon @kimtaegis @jung-koook @hvseoks @btsiu

@taee @kth1 @heybaetae @oumoumimi (no pressure ofc <3)

[hxlxnaaa]

𝐜𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐧𝐬

★ synopsis: unrequited love manifests itself as a beautiful disease

★ character: zayne

★ cw: first-person pov, university au, hanahaki disease, ANGST

★ word count: 2k

★ a/n: zayne my angsty king. who needs happy endings am i right??? (i'm so sorry)

Google Search: Why am I throwing up flowers??????

Hanahaki Disease (花吐き病 (Japanese); 하나하키병 (Korean); 花吐病 (Chinese)) is a disease in which the victim coughs up flower petals when they suffer from one-sided love. It ends when the beloved returns their feelings, or when the victim dies. The flowers can now be surgically removed, but all feelings towards the beloved will dissipate.

I already knew what it was. Everyone does. From the first tulip petal I coughed out while working on my essay, to the bouquet that came up from my lungs, covered in blood, just days later.

It was progressing rapidly as the days went on, and everytime I took a breath my lungs would constrict; the vines curling around them, crushing my breathing ability, and my heart.

At first, I tried to ignore it. I’d go out with friends and attempt to go to class, but I felt embarrassed. Ashamed, even. I could feel their eyes on me, watching as I tried to smother my chokes in the middle of a lecture, only to have to dismiss myself to throw up a rose in the hallway.

It’s not like I could go through campus and see him, the one who gave me this. I ignored his calls, ignored his texts. Not that they came often anyways.

‘Are you okay?’

No, Zayne, do I look like I’m okay? I’m sitting in a pile of flower petals and my own blood on my bathroom floor.

Zayne. He was my childhood best friend, and growing up it always felt like I had to fight for an ounce of his attention. He was top of the class in highschool, popular with all the girls for being smart, stoic, and undeniably sexy. Not once did he entertain any of them, and it made them want him so much more. I was excited for college, thinking I could finally have him to myself, without feeling like I was sharing him with the whole school and his extra curriculars. I knew realistically he’d still lack the time for me, studying biology to go to med school, become a doctor, follow his dreams; and I would never be one to step in the way of that. I knew my place. I was just his best friend. I was aware there were boundaries I shouldn’t cross.

At least, until now.

I remember the moment it hit me.

After days, weeks of begging him, I had finally convinced the introverted, brooding nerd to go to a stupid frat party. For the laughs, I had said, follow the college stereotypes. ‘You only live once, Zayne!’ He humored me, I’ll be grateful for that. Giving it barely an hour (and a few free drinks), he quickly got sick of everything, inviting me outside. We sat outside on the driveway, the cool air a breath of freshness compared to the stuffy, sweat smell from inside.

A dumb rap song played inside, and Zayne looked over to me.

“Slow dance with me.”

I smiled and rolled my eyes, knowing it was the alcohol talking and not him. He’d regret this in the morning, and I’d get a stern talking to.

He stood, reaching his hand out, narrowing his eyes. I took his hand, figuring the least I could do was indulge in this moment. For once, his attention was fully on me.

I laughed as we swayed together, a muffled remix of a shitty rap song as our only background music. Looking up at him, I questioned when he had grown up so much. His once round, soft face with chubby baby cheeks had matured into a sharp jawline and high cheekbones I thought about grazing my hand over. Behind his eyes wasn’t a childish glint anymore, and I wondered how long ago that disappeared.

Pressing my face into his chest, I only felt us. One of his arms around my waist, the other holding my hand that was pressed against his shoulder. My free hand clutched his black jacket, like he would disappear into thin air, and my grasp was the only thing keeping him here.

To a passerby, it would’ve looked like a movie; two college kids dancing together outside of a frat party, holding onto each other like it’s the end of a world. In the movie, the two best friends would confess to each other the next day. The boy would rush to the girl's door, with a bouquet of flowers, gasping for air, saying “I love you, I love you, I love you, I never realized that I did.”

But only I realized. Only I realized I loved him.

Zayne never showed up on my doorstep the day after he walked me home that night. The only flowers I got were the ones that filled my lungs.

I refused to speak to him. I wasn’t mad at him, why would I be? It was my fault for forgetting my boundaries. For forgetting the rules. For thinking I had a chance since all the little highschool girls no longer followed him around like lost dogs. For once thinking that I was no longer his side character, for thinking maybe I could be his love interest in his story.

What would I say to him if we did speak? I couldn’t hide what was growing inside my chest. I couldn't hide my split lips from the thorns, or my scratchy voice. The dark circles under my eyes from lack of sleep, too busy catching up on work from missed classes and not getting a break from coughing or vomiting. Tell him I was sick? He’d scold me for not taking care of myself, that I need to rest and eat properly. I didn’t want to hear it, scolding me for something he caused. His concern would only grow when I would accidentally cough up a flower in front of him.

Would he ask who I loved? Or would he just look right through me and tell me I needed to get the surgery to fix all of this. ‘Nobody is worth that kind of illness’ He’d say bluntly.

I knew I couldn’t face him. Not knowing if he even cares, yet knowing that the way I look at his face is different from the way he looks at mine. How he sees his future with someone who isn’t me.

“What are you going to do?” I was hanging out with a friend from one of my classes, Tara. She was the only person I felt like I could confide in about all of this.

We were hanging out at one of the campus coffee shops when I told her. It was a good day for my lungs, after almost overdosing on decongestants and ibuprofen.

“I’m not sure.” Twirling my spoon in my cup, I avoided her eyes. “It’s not like I can get the surgery. I can’t afford it.”

She looked me up and down, and I felt as if she could see into my soul. She did, Tara was like that.

“Can your pockets not afford it, or can you not afford it?”

Tara was right. I could afford the surgery, my university healthcare covered the surgery since students caught the disease so often;

But my heart couldn’t afford it.

It had gotten so used to loving Zayne, it would feel empty without the compassion for him. I feared I may act differently, lacking all love for him. Would he even notice?

I quickly made up my mind, looking out the window - seeing the person I dreaded the most.

Zayne sat outside in a car on the other side of the street, and I could only tell it was him if I stared hard enough. He was holding the hands of a girl I had seen around campus. Zayne had briefly mentioned her a few times, talking about the assignments they’d work on together, and I never thought too much of it.

He brought their hands up to his mouth, kissing the back of her hand, and each of her knuckles. His face was gentle, a look I had never seen on him before. She giggled, and I wondered what it would be like to be her. To have him stare at me with all the love in the world, to be able to feel his soft pink lips I had stared at so many times, wishing to just touch, to just feel. To be on the receiving side of his care, his compassion, no more blunt harsh responses and stern looks.

“Hey-”

I turned back to Tara, and coughed up a flower on the table, and I choked back a sob. Tears threatened to poor, but I couldn’t embarrass myself more than I had with the bloody peony in front of me. She came around the table and hugged me, and I mumbled through quivering lips, “Can you take me home please?”

That night the girl had made it official that she and Zayne were dating. All the pictures on social media, the hearts that their friends commented on each other's posts. A disgruntled feeling made my chest spasm, any time I’d post a picture of Zayne he’d make me take it down immediately.

The morning of my surgery, I got up and put on my favorite sweater Zayne had gotten me for my sixteenth birthday.

“I got it for you last month when you stared at it in the shop’s window.” He smiled when he saw my excitement, one of the rare moments I could see his lips turn upward.

On my walk to the bus stop, I saw him sitting there. Once he looked up and saw me, he stood.

“Where have you been?” Zayne looked at me and frowned. I suppressed the immediate urge to roll my eyes.

“I never see you around campus. You’re never in your usual spots, and I texted you. I was supposed to help you study. Are you still attending your classes?” Even after not seeing each other for weeks, he still found a way to shame me. His eyes hard, lips pressed together into a tight line, I wasn’t even sure he was happy to see me.

The bus pulled up.

“Are you going to take the bus?” I asked him, avoiding his gaze.

He shook his head, “No, I’m waiting for-”

“Yeah, okay. I have to go.”

“Wait,” I turned around to him. It had begun to snow, so the small flakes sparkled on his head in the early morning light like glitter. He always loved winter, the snow.

He stared at me for a few seconds before shaking his head, changing his mind.

I nodded. “I’ll see you, Zayne.” Saying his name felt like acid on my tongue.

Turning around without taking another look at him, I boarded the bus.

Two days later, when I finally came home from my surgery, the only difference I could tell at first was that my chest didn’t hurt anymore. I could finally breathe again without feeling like I was choking on air. The doctors gave me a bag of all the flowers that they collected out of me, and at first I refused to look at them.

Yet as soon as I got home, I felt compelled to sit on my floor and sort through them.

I made piles of each flower, twirling them in my fingers before placing them in their designated places. Some had long vines that I used to tie them together into a crown.

After I finished, I spotted a jacket under my bed. I pulled it out to see it was the black jacket he wore the night we danced together outside that stupid party.

I took a deep breath of it, wishing I would feel the same way I did that night;

But I felt nothing.

It was now just a jacket. He was now just Zayne.

I put it on, wrapping it tightly around my body. I nestled the flowers along my head like a crown of thorns.

Looking at the girl in the mirror, staring at her with her blood stained flower crown, I broke down.

(divider by cafekitsune)

[voidspiraling]

What do you think about the Red pupils in alien stage? Because when I first see them I think it’s just an Ivan trait, but in a few shots, Till has them too. Specifically when it’s related to Ivan. I would think it’s stress because of the fact he was stressed when Luka was manipulating him, but there’s also the Metor shower scene where he’s the happiest we’ve seen him at. Also! Thoughts on the comic where Till says “Because of you Mizi won’t play with me anymore?” And Ivan says that it wasn’t Mizi playing with him it was him? Like, what do you think that comic could mean on both their relationship + how Till loves Mizi? Cuz I think it’s interesting that he’s in love with her because of her smile and her presence but mistakes Ivan for her

Hiiii Srry for the late reply I had finals weeks and was dying. Thank you so much for your ask I’m happy to talk abt red pupils and the comic!

Red eyes are super interesting in IvanTill.

This is the first shot from R3 we get of baby Ivan, and his eyes naturally have the red dot in them. Usually they’re a darker color so his eyes look black most of the time.

So I disagree with the theory that the aliens experimented on Ivan’s eyes to turn them red. His eyes have always been red, you just don’t notice it unless you boost the saturation and contrast. Or have super strong eyes ig. HOWEVER.

Ivan’s eyes get redder when he feels strong emotions. This is the comic showing his final thoughts, here he is likely feeling jealous that Sua was able to be in a mutually requited love with Mizi. It’s almost like his entire world is turned upside down. What do you mean the girl who is so similar to me is able to find happiness? Why couldn’t I? Why is she so happy and I’m so miserable when we’re both the same? So we can associate bright red eyes with intense feelings. Just like how the color bright red can mean intense love but also extreme danger. Now let’s talk about when Till’s eyes are red.

The first time in canon is the infamous meteor shower scene. It’s one of the happiest times we see him. In this moment I think the red pupils represent the happiness and love he feels for Ivan. I’ve talked abt the red sky before but I’ll briefly say that this bright sky is a pivotal moment in both of their lives. It’s where their love was almost fully realized (in my delusional eyes) before being ripped to pieces. Remember red means love but it also means danger. So when Till’s eyes are red it means he’s feeling an intense emotion related to Ivan, bc Ivan naturally has red eyes. In this scene it’s probably love that he is feeling intensely.

Now let’s look at R6 Till, his eyes are red here too but it’s not out of happiness but of heartbreak. I wanted to talk abt this later so I’ll keep this short. But isn’t it strange that Till was so defeated after Mizi disappeared. She wasn’t even confirmed dead but he was already at his lowest. I think the real reason he stopped singing wasn’t just bc he was sad abt Mizi, but bc he didn’t want to win against Ivan. Losing his idol made him realize that the only person he has left is Ivan. It’s like a reality check for him. (Honestly if Mizi somehow won R5 I feel like he’d still throw the match but I’ll explain my delusions separately.) Anyways in this moment right before Ivan kisses him, he is probably shocked at seeing Ivan. Remember Till doesn’t realize that Ivan loves him, he probably attributes Ivan’s weirdness around him as something he does out of hate rather than him trying to get the attention of his crush. So seeing him also throw the mic away and stand so close to him was surprising but also comforting in a sense. At least the last face he sees will be Ivan.

Now onto R7, this is I think the brightest red we see in Till’s eyes. I think this is bc his world just ended hours ago (however long the time between rounds is idk rlly all I know is that R6 and R7 happened the same day.) All the ppl he grew up with died, he doesn’t know what happened to Mizi, and he’s up against the Ruler of the Stage. But here his eyes are red when Luka impersonates Ivan. Again his red eyes likely represent the deep heartbreak and sadness he feels about Ivan. After Ivan’s sacrifice and kiss Till has to re-contextualize everything Ivan has done. I think also it forced him to confront the red sky that haunted him (ie: missed chance at freedom, finding happiness with Ivan) there was a lot of red scenes and red lights during R7 that reinforces this idea.

Overall red eyes are Ivan’s signature, but it’s easy to miss bc it blends with the black of his eyes. Ivan also wears a lot of black you can barely see any red on him. But Till who cares a lot more abt Ivan than he’s willing to admit, notices the red in his eyes. So when Till’s eyes turn red it means what he’s feeling is connected is related to Ivan. We don’t see Till’s turn red when thinking abt Mizi.

There is one exception however.

It’s in R2. Now this could just be thematic, Till just killed an alien living in his guitar. HOWEVER let’s pretend it’s more than that. Red eyes represent Ivan bc he naturally has red pupils. BUT the color red represents Till. He’s got bright red pants, dark red gloves, blood red on his pants and he’s seen cherishing and holding red flowers.

Methinks Red is Till’s signature color bc Till likes the color of Ivan’s eyes. (And if you think abt it pink is just a lighter shade of red hehehe…)

To answer your question red eyes are an Ivan thing bc he was born with red eyes. But red eyes on Till means he’s looking at Ivan meaningfully, acknowledging his own feelings for Ivan it could be positive feelings or negative feelings. But considering that Till’s eyes turned red from being depressed over Ivan, I think Till has mostly positive feelings for Ivan.

Now part 2!

This comic is basically Till threatening (failing to threaten rlly I mean look at Ivan’s face XD) to punch Ivan in the bathroom bc he believes Ivan was somehow the reason Mizi wouldn’t play with him. You can find the translation on Twitter by @WhataFruit.

Ivan’s response was basically what the hell are you on Mizi never played with you in the first place. Then the small text is him saying I was the one who played with you.

On Till’s side the real reason Mizi doesn’t play with Till, is bc she thinks Till doesn’t like her. She likes how artistic he is, and thinks his piercings suit him. But she sees him awkward and uncomfortable around her and assumes it’s bc he doesn’t like her. She wants to be friends with Till but due to Till’s avoidant tendencies they’re not close.

He blames Ivan for this bc he doesn’t have anyone else to blame. He’s May not even be aware that he’s avoiding ppl like this. Ivan was just a jerk to him anyways so it’s easy to blame him if something he doesn’t like happens to him. This is the kid that steals his pencils it wouldn’t be too surprising if Ivan said something weird abt Till to Mizi.

Another thing is that he talks abt Ivan wanting revenge for hitting them when they were younger. This could be bc Till likely feels guilty abt hitting Ivan. When they grow older, yeah Till still gets pissed at Ivan, but he doesn’t hit him anymore. In fact he tries to ignore him like in the R6 flashback when Ivan pulls at his wound on his cheek. It’s like when you tell a little girl to stop reacting when a boy is mean to her bc he likes her (not that it ever stops the boy from being abusive but whatever). So I think this is how Till sees Ivan’s feelings towards him. He’s doing weird stuff cuz he’s mad at me/hates me for hitting him when we were younger. It could also be he feels guilty for throwing away his only chance at freedom with Ivan. Cuz it wasn’t just his freedom he gave up it was also Ivan’s freedom that was lost. It wasn’t Till’s responsibility or anything I’m not blaming him for Ivan’s choices. But as a result of Till’s actions both him and Ivan are trapped as pets again. Till blaming himself for Ivan coming back could be why he thinks Ivan only has negative feelings for him. And why he doesn’t attack Ivan after Ivan provoked him, he probably thinks he deserves Ivan tormenting him.

Now let’s talk abt Ivan’s response. He’s blunt as always with no tact when he says Mizi never played with you in the first place. But the smaller text is him saying I’m the one who plays with you.

From this the smaller text makes me think abt how Ivan is only truly honest when Till isn’t awake or looking at him.

In R6 Ivan is showing comfort and care to Till after he had been forced to sing for the aliens (idk if that scene has actual SA or if they just drugged him and hit him but regardless Till is suffering here). There is no way to misconstrue Ivan’s action as anything but care here. He unlocks Till’s collar and nuzzles his gently the way Till nuzzles flowers. He could’ve kissed Till here, could’ve unbuttoned his shirt or pinch his face etc. But the only thing he does is gently comfort Till.

I think this shows how Ivan wants to be kind and cherish Till. But something holds him back from doing it when Till can receive that care properly. It doesn’t matter how much you love give someone if the other person never receives it in a way they understand. It’s probably bc for Ivan who has been treated as a product/investment he doesn’t have a lot of self-worth. He’s so used to just fulfilling everyone’s expectations of him that he lost his individuality. Loving Till doesn’t fit inside everyone’s expectations of him, not even Till’s. So he only does what he wants when no one is aware of it, when he’s by himself. In the student interview he allots a lot of time for “private time” this could be bc that’s the only reprieve he gets from constantly acting like the perfect pet for the aliens. And with the low self worth and calling his feelings “shallow” he like Till also believes he’s not worthy of affection.

He acts like a jerk to Till partly out of immaturity, anger at Till for not leaving with him and bc if he acts like this he can maximize the time he spent with Till. If he acted like Mizi, gentle and kind, he assumes Till would run away like he does with Mizi. Remember Till grew up being taken away from his mom and being abused by Urak. As a defense mechanism he assumes that violence is normal and avoids the unknown kindness others have for him. As an avoidant person myself, when you’re not used to ppl being unconditional kind, it is VERY uncomfortable. Uncomfortable enough that we shy away from it. So that’s why Ivan fulfills Till’s expectation of him being a jerk when he’s awake. But when Till isn’t looking at him or when Ivan’s abt to die he shows pure love towards Till.

Look at the face, that’s the look of someone in love. And one of the few times we see him wearing a collar. It’s bright green when looking at Till, Ivan you have so much affection how can you call it shallow 🥲 How many ppl could give up their chance at freedom just for the person they love? (This is why I can’t get behind ppl who think Ivan would cage Till or trap him by his side. Ivan literally respected Till’s choice not to leave their hell and even stayed with him and loved him the entire time they were together ;-;)

Also abt the last part I’m unclear where exactly Till mistook Ivan for Mizi? From my understanding I see Till loving Mizi as a performance and I think Vivinos said Till saw Mizi as an idol. Like how most ppl love idols, we only love the fantasy version we come up with of them. Very rarely do we see the messy human side to them. And even tho we may obsess over them and feel intense love for our fav idol. Eventually we turn off the screen and go through with our day. That’s how I see Till loving Mizi.

I mean whenever Ivan is watching Till, Till is mostly drawing, practicing/composing music or just by himself. There’s not really a scene of Ivan watching Till look at Mizi. It could just be that bc it’s Ivan’s pov we only see Till and no one else. But we also know that Ivan has spent a lot of time with Till in the garden, he’s our only insight into what Till is actually like. So I think Till loves Mizi from afar bc he unconsciously doesn’t want to actually get to know her and ruin his image of her. Even after seeing her attack Luka in R5 he still hallucinates her as a gentle almost angelic figure.

I mean I think Till has always loved Ivan but that’s just bc I’m delusional lol.

Anyways thank you so much for the ask! Sorry for the lateness and the nonsensical yapping. My brain is kinda fried rn from all the tests but I might come back and re-analyze the comic.

[melissa-titanium]

i think your art is very beautiful //. !!!!!!!!!!!!!uhm what app slash program do you use or recommend ..

EV E Y BOD Y SAY. THAAAAAAAAANK UOU <33333 HELL O U SWEE TBEAUTIFUL THANG. IIIIIIII!!!!!!O K OK.

iam severely biased because i use csp and i Fucking Love CSP but. i have used lots of different art programs & can just share my experiences. my choice from top being first to bottom being absolute last

CSP ; i mean, like, legally speaking -- it costs money. but. like. you know. arr mateys and all that. smirk. VERY good program, super extensive & i believe its industry standard? one downside for most people ive seen is that it is. like. incredibly complicated & visually overwhelming. like this is my personal setup

BUT ALSO GOING INTO THIS MORE.,.. the interface is like. 100% customizable. you could completely get rid of every single thing on here except for the brush and colorpicker if you wanted. like it is completely customizable just do whatever the fuck u want forever ALSO ANIMATION FRIENDLY BLESS i do all my animations here!!! . i really like it because there is an entire asset store with people making dedicated brushes and models and textures etc etc & also its just. it has a nice feel to it :)) its hard for me to describe well but i love csp. my babygirl

MEDIBANG PAINT: i have not used this in . quite some fucking time so forgive me if some of this is outdated. its not like. NEARLY as customizable as something like csp or photoshop (ewww) but it works like. pretty fucking well honestly. the brushes all have a very nice feel to them and it's a very far far reach from csp in terms of like. Set up BUT its free and has a lot of pre-made brushes to pick from :) ... unfortunately theres no way to import stuff unlike csp and ps so ur stuck with things made within the app or downloaded from the cloud i think otherwise tho i think it has a very nice interface :)) NOT animation friendly tho. sigh

FIREALPACA: FREE... also you can animate in it but its fucking insane. better selection of brushes than medibang but im not a big fan of how it feels + it was super laggy for me when i used it....

KRITA: same as above p much but a smaller brush selection ... IBISPAINT: free! big fan of the brushes (+ theres a LOT of them) & even if the interface is a little confusing for me its pretty simple & would be good for sum people i think :) PROCREATE: $5 last time i checked? fuck procreate honestly. one of my least favorite programs & i used it for 2 years so i would know. it gets a LOT of popularity because its aesthetically pleasing and. YES the feel of the brushes is nice i will not lie but the shit hiding behind such a simple interface is the fact that there is literally. so few options/so little customization. very laggy, brushes are EXCLUSIVE to procreate & even if there's a wide selection if you want to move to a different program its gonna b a nightmare having to use totally different brushes. animation feature is fucking terrible, there's a seperate app made by the same people i think? and i havent tried that one but ive heard its good :)) regardless. procreate isnt BAD but it has an incredibly simple interface, ipad/iphone exclusive, only really works well with an apple pencil (which is already pretty fucking expensive on top of an ipad if you dont already have one LOL !?!?!?!?!?!?)

PHOTOSHOP: fuck adobe! expensive as hell + ia m generally just not a big fan of it or its interface... its not bad per se but i wouldnt reccomend it to anyone who hasnt Already Used It

THERES . PROBABLY MORE IM FORGETTING like i could say sony sketch & gimp and shit but i dont have enough experience with them 2 really say. regardless i hope IHOP;E ANY OF THIS MADE; SENS;E[ ;34TEORTUDOIG