#at least my parents are still married unlike one of my Ex friends

[that-unspeaking-sky-kid]

when your parents have argued so much to the point you need to turn up your headphones to (or subconsciously) block it out 📢📢📢

[epicbuddieficrecs]

Throwback Rec!

Helloooooooo!

I've mentioned this when I first started the blog, but unlike with my previous rec blogs, there was quite a long period of time between the time when I started reading buddie fics and when I started this blog (live, five-ish months). Consequently, there's a lot of fics I've read during that period that I've never recced! So I thought I'd try to do a "Throwback" rec once in a while to rec these fics. Enjoy!

this must be the place by euadnes/ @kananjarus (Canon Divergent, Post-Shooting | 75K | Teen): Every life altering event is often led up to with a series of other important events. In this case, there were at least three: An unstoppable fire. An afternoon spent underneath a blanket of California blue sky. But firstly, and maybe the most important of all: There was the impeccable aiming of an ex-sharpshooter. *** Or, the Buck is also shot by the sniper AU that no one asked for.

🔥 Benign Fatality by EtoileGarden/ @etoilegarden (Time Loop AU, Season 2-4 | 23K | Teen): Buck repeats days until he doesn't die in them, has an underdeveloped sense of self worth, and Eddie is the one who wants to step in with him.

must be some kind of twist, I could get used to this by soyxunxperdedor/ @messyhairdiaz (Post-S4, Accidental Marriage | 38K | Explicit): He doesn’t remember much from last night, even less after the fourth or fifth tequila shot. So he certainly doesn’t remember bringing someone back to his room. He steels himself for the lancing pain and cracks his eyes open. Oh. Oh no. This is either really bad or… Well, not really good, but just. Not really bad, and that’s probably all Buck can ask for it to be. Because Eddie is in his bed, Eddie’s arm is wrapped around his waist, Eddie’s legs are tangled with his. And he has no idea why.

🔥 in the night we trust by glorious_spoon/ @glorious-spoon (Canon Divergent, Pre-S4 | 29K | Explicit): Eddie and Buck start sleeping together when they're all stuck at Buck's place during lockdown. It still takes them almost three years to notice that they're in love.

🔥 Didn't think you meant it by EtoileGarden/ @etoilegarden (Friends to Fiancés to Lovers, Post-S5 | 33K | Explicit): “I want - I want to get to - to have some sort of - of promise that I’m… loved. And. And worthy. And that I get to always go to bed knowing I’m - I’m fully, like, mentally, physically, legally committed to this person who - who’ll always have my back, who’ll always - always be there when I need them. But I guess,” Buck shook his head. “I guess I’m starting to really - really believe that maybe I’m not actually built for that. For - for someone actually wanting to commit to me, to marry me. So I - I think seeing the wedding today just kinda cemented in my brain that no one would want to marry me.”  “I’d marry you,” Eddie said, patted his knee. 

🔥 standing on the brink of emptiness by woodchoc_magnum/ @woodchoc-magnum (Post-Shooting | 71K | Mature): In which Eddie is struggling in the aftermath of being shot, learning how to take care of himself and realising he's in love with Buck; and Buck is dating Taylor, taking care of Eddie and Christopher and trying to figure out why he's so goddamn confused about everything.

🔥 Muscle Memory by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Amnesia AU | 40K | Teen): After a disappointment in his personal life, Buck wakes up one morning to find everyone he loves has forgotten him completely. No memories. No recognition. Almost like he was never really there.

oh, my dream (never quite as it seems) by woodchoc_magnum/ @woodchoc-magnum (S6, Friends with Benefits | 44K | Explicit): In which Buck and Eddie are trying out a friends-with-benefits thing (that's rapidly turning into more) when the world comes crashing down on them. As Buck hovers somewhere between life and death, Eddie has to deal with their friends, family and the Buckley parents.

It’s Not the Roaring Dream, It’s the Silent Lightning by giselleslash (Coma AU | 15K | Mature): Buck gets struck by lightning and wakes up in another life where he has everything he’s ever wanted, but soon that life starts to crumble around him and the painful pull back into reality nearly breaks his heart. (or the one where Buck is married to Eddie in a coma dream and he doesn’t want to let the dream go.)

found a park bench for a throne by withoutthetiger / @rewritetheending (Post-S6 | 23K | Teen): Set in S7, when Buck goes back to therapy and Eddie is there to comfort him after each session, much like Buck did for him in 5x14. They're friends, of course, but Eddie can only soothe Buck for so long before it becomes impossible to deny that they're also so much more.

I love the way you spoil me, baby by rosebuddiekin/ @giddyupbuck (Sugar Daddy Buck AU | 33K | Explicit): Buck is a sugar daddy who wants to spoil Eddie rotten and take care of everything for him. Eddie has never had that sort of relationship but is willing to give it a try. There is plenty of adventure along the way.

🔥 In the Gray You are Golden by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (Zombie Apocalypse AU | 26K | Explicit): When the world fell apart, Eddie did his best to keep his son safe. But now winter's coming on, their supplies are dwindling, and Christopher needs medical attention, so Eddie takes the chance to move them across the country to the west coast, where the rumored 118 Safezone takes in all survivors. Buck's proud to be a member of the 118's search and rescue teams, but he can't shake the conviction that his lost sister is still alive in the wasteland. When he sneaks out to find her, he runs into Eddie and Chris instead, and vows to get them to the 118 safely. But the wasteland has many ways of tearing people apart, and the undead are just one trick up its sleeve...

🔥 you and me by woodchoc_magnum/ @woodchoc-magnum (S6 Fix-It | 55K | Mature): An alternate ending to Season 6, where Buck realises that what he's been searching for has been right in front of him the whole time.

🔥 The Education of Eddie Diaz by mansikka (Pre-S4, Friends With Benefits | 32K | Explicit): Eddie doesn't really know how it happened. One moment the 118 are drunk in a bar after a hard shift, confessions slipping from his mouth as he playfully kisses Buck on the cheek. The next he is on Buck's couch, taking up Buck's offer of an education that could be asking for trouble. But it's just sex, and they're just friends; it doesn't mean anything to either of them. So why is his time alone with Buck the highlight of his week?

🔥 i see you in my sheets (i see you in my sleep) by elless (Post-S6A, Friends with Benefits | 25K | Explicit): Buck and Eddie are FWB, act like boyfriends, and are suuuuper dumb and oblivious about everything.

🔥 a bleeding sun on a silver screen by rarakiplin (gmontys)/ @hoediaz (Actors AU, Friends With Benefits | 130K | Mature): One day, Buck will tell an interviewer that he would be happy to make movies with Eddie Diaz until the day he dies. But first, years before that, he sees Eddie for the first time on the set of Chimney’s fifth movie.

handle me with care by woodchoc_magnum/ @woodchoc-magnum (Canon to S6E9, Getting Together | 42K | Mature): In which Eddie tries dating again, and slowly comes to terms with his feelings for Buck.

Your Kiss Might Kill Me (So Won't You Kill Me) by morganofthefairies (PWP, BDSM | 9K | Explicit): Buck hadn’t been a virgin by the time he’d hit Peru – not even close. He still considered Peru a critical point in his sexual history, though, because Peru had brought him Fiona, and he was pretty sure he could credit her with like 80% of his sexual knowledge. None of that was the point, though. The point was that, six years later, when Eddie called for the jaws to get to a woman pinned in her car while responding to an 8-car pileup, and absentmindedly called him a good boy as Buck handed them over, he had a totally normal reaction to it.

[girlwholikestoread]

My least favorite to My favorite books I read in 2023

24. May The Best Man Win by Z.R. Ellor: I wanted to like this book so badly, I really did but this is probably the only book I read this year that I didn’t like. The story is about Jeremy Harkisis who is a transgender cheerleader and his ex-boyfriend Lukas who is the all-star football player; the two exes are both trying to earn the title of Homecoming King. Honestly I loved the idea of this story just wasn’t a fan of the direction. First I did like Jeremy for most of the book, honestly his attitude towards Lukas in the beginning of the book made me not want to root for them and he just seems so mean and selfish, I understand that was the point and usually I don’t mind reading about characters who are mean and selfish but learns their lesson at the end but, Jermey was just so unnecessary cruel to his friends despite all of them showing him support and kindness. I liked Lukas a lot and honestly he was the only reason I had any motivation to finish this book and I thought the ending was cute. Overall a big let down and Lukas deserve so much better.

23. Radiant Black, Vol. 3: Rogues’s Gallery: It was the first book I read this year because my brother insisted I read it. It was fine, I’m personally not a huge fan of the series but I think the story is pretty good. Overall I gave it 3 stars on GoodReads so not bad.

22. Blackwater by Jeannette Arroyo and Ren Graham: So this book was different…not in a bad way. I actually really liked this book but this went in a direction I did not expect. So the story about Tony Price who is a popular high school track star and a quiet boy named Eli Hirsch who has a chronic autoimmune disorder become unlikely friends. Seems like your standard romance, except it’s not. Eli has a special ability to see ghosts and most recently he’s been seeing a ghost of a fisherman, while that happens Tony gets bitten by a werewolf-like creator which turns him into one. The story was alright, I was a bit confused at times but I still mostly enjoyed it. The romance was also lacking. Tony and Eli have a few cute moments together but I wish there were more, and I wished there were more interactions between the side characters and the main character. Overall Loved the spooky art style, I would recommend this for Halloween.

21. The Black Flamingo by Dean Atta: I Devoured this book, I couldn’t put this down because I was so invested. The story is about our main character Micheal who throughout the book will grow up and start questioning his sexuality, gender expression, and his relationships. The story is formatted like a poem which I really liked. Seeing Micheal throughout his life from his adolescent years to his adult years, seeing him grow and form meaningful relationships was such a great reading experience. Overall beautifully written story, I hope Micheal and Kieran ended up together.

20. Husband Material by Alexis Hall: This book was great. I loved Boyfriend Material and immediately bought Husband Material once I finished the first book because I needed to know what was next for Luc and Oliver. This book did great continuing the story of all the couples from the first book, and showing that Luc and Oliver were made for each other. I especially liked Luc's shitty ex-boyfriend from college. I really wanted more information about that relationship and seeing Oliver stand up for his parents was so satisfying…but then the ending happened. Honestly I liked the ending, I thought it fit Luc and Oliver who always has an unconventional relationship so them deciding marriage isn’t for them makes sense, I just wasn’t a fan of the execution of them making that decision. Overall much like Sherk 2 perfect squeal.

19. The Princess and the Grilled Sandwich by Deya Muniz: This book is so fucking cute! I loved the characters, I loved the artstyle, I loved the cheese pun, I loved everything! This book is about Lady Camembert and how her before she passed wanted her to marry so she can get her inheritance and rights to her father kingdom, which could only be given to a man and he only had one daughter; she decided to disguise herself as a man and inherent everything but is forced to live a low-profile in order to not lose everything. However she breaks this rule and goes to a ball hosted by Princess Bri, they form a friendship and slowly start falling for each other; the only issue is that Bri believes that Camembert is a man. This story was cute, fun, engaging, and the ending was perfect! Overall I devoured this book like a grilled cheese sandwich.

18. Sorry Bro by Taleen Voskuni: This book was so good! This book is about Nareh who after ending her relationship with her boyfriend who, while wasn’t a bad person just wasn’t for her, decided she wants to explore her options dating with both men and women. During this she meets Erebuni and she becomes her wingwoman and helps her find a new guy or girl. However during this they both start following each other, with Nareh falling hard first. The book was great, it was a bit slow and I personally didn’t find her issues at work a compelling subplot but thought everything else great. I loved Erebuni and thought she was so sweet and understanding and like Nareh and her mom talk after she came out. Overall Sweet and Sapphic

17. I wish you all the best by Mason Deaver: This was the first book I read with a Non-Binary MC. We follow Ben De Backer who on Christmas day decides to come out to their parents as Non-Binary, this however doesn’t go as planned and they end up kicked out of their home on Christmas and have to call their estranged sister Hannah and her husband Thomas who they haven’t met yet. This leads to them having to live with her and start a new school where they meet Nathan Allan and start a friendship. This book made me cry a few times. Ben goes through a lot in a short period of time. Building a relationship with their sister, trying to make new friends, and figure out how they feel about their parents. This book is amazing and Ben and Nathan's relationship is so pure and it’s hard to find sweet innocent romantic connections in books nowadays but Ben and Nathan were so sweet. Overall this book felt like a hug on paper.

16. I’ll Be Home For Christmas by Mason Deaver: We loved a Christmas squeal! This takes place once Ben and Nathan have graduated and Nathan is attending college while Ben is taking time off school and living with roommates. Ben flys to Hannah house for Christmas Eve and plans to bring a surprise for Nathan by bringing his dog back home. Unfortunately their perfect gift plan ended up blowing up in their face when it snowed in and flights started being canceled. This short story is very sweet and does a great job showing us how Nathan and Ben are now. Ben’s determination to bring Nathan his beloved dog was so sweet and the ending was the perfect ending. Overall Ben and Nathan are a couple goals.

15. Ocean’s Echo by Everina Maxwell: I loved space adventures with a hint of romance, it’s one of my favorite combos. This book was written by the same author of Winter Orbit and it takes place in the same universe, however this isn’t a sequel since Kiem and Jainan aren’t mentioned and we have new main characters. In this book we follow Tennal, an absolut flirt who is constantly getting himself in trouble and Surit a Lieutenant who is very by-the-book. After Tennal gets himself in trouble yet again he’s forced to join the military where he meets Surit and they are forced to work together and forced to sync; and syncing is a type of merging of the minds. However Surit doesn’t want to sync because Tennal has made it clear he doesn’t want to be controlled. This leads to them coming up with a plan to get Tennal out of the military while keeping Surit rank. While this is happening they start slowing noticing a power struggle within the military. This book had me on the edge of my seats and I couldn’t stop listening, the romance wasn’t much which is fine because the overall plot was so intriguing it made up for the lack of romance. Overall Space politics are confusing but in a fun way.

14. Boyfriend Material by Alexis Hall: This is the funniest book I read all year. Hands down. Boyfriend Material is about Luc O’Donnell who is the child of two retired rockstars and because of this he’s constantly in the spotlight and usually for all the wrong reasons. Wanting to clear his image he needs to find a perfect boyfriend, which he does with a successful educated man named Oliver Blackwood. They enter a fake dating situation which benefits them both. Luc and Oliver's relationship moved along so naturally and Luc is so funny. All the side characters were great too and while I knew what the ending was gonna be I was still surprised on how it ended. Overall UK comedy is undefeated.

13. She Gets the Girl by Racheal Lippincott, Alyson Derrick: Sapphic slow-burns are perfect for the summer. In this story we follow Alex Blackwood who has lots of issues both in her family and her dating life and Molly who has a close relationship with her family but never had a real date or relationship. The two are polar opposites but come together to help each other out, Alex helps Molly get with her long time crush Cora Myers and it helps Alex prove to her ex that she’s a better person. Molly and Alex are so cute together, Alex encouraging Molly to come out of her shell was really sweet, and I related to Molly a lot. Overall Sweet, Sapphic, and I want to learn how to roller skate

12. Imogen, Obviously by Becky Albertalli: This book was so cute. In this we follow Imogen Scott who is a huge Ally and very involved in queer media. She visits her best friend Lili who’s thriving in college making new queer friends and everything is great…except Lili told a small lie saying that her and Imogen are ex’s and that Imogen is bi. Not wanting to make her friend seem like a liar she plays along, however while doing that she starts falling for Tessa, who is one of Lili's new friends. Imogen is such a sweetheart and one of my favorite main characters, The cover is also one of my favorites this year. Overall “I’m not homophobic, I’m an Ally”

11. A Mark on My Soul by Jordon Greene: This is the only book I read that didn’t have a happy ending. In this we follow Noah who decides to come out as gay to his friends, family, and publically online. When this happens he gets a message from a “secret admirer” which turns out to be his best friend Parker who’s in the closet. This book ripped my heart in half and ended up sobbing my eyes out. I already knew how Parker's story ended because I accidentally spoiled the ending for myself but despite that I grew so attached to Parker and wanted him to be happy. This book was a hard read for me but I loved it so much. Overall Parker deserves better!

10. The Long Run by James Acker: Ngl I almost DNF this book. I didn’t like the first 3 chapters and since I was listening to this book on audible I also wasn’t a big fan of Sandro’s VA, but chapter 4 is where I truly got invested and I’m so glad I keep reading because I ended up loving this book. In this story we follow Bash and Sandro, who are both finishing their last year of High School and after kissing at a Party they form a friendship. This is a true slowburn because even though they kissed in the beginning they stay mostly platonic and do “dude-bro” stuff. I also love that Bash never makes the fact he’s Bi a big deal, he just accepts that he fell for a guy and doesn’t care. Sandro and Bash are so cute together and I loved them so much. Overall Bash the Flash and the Italian Yeti are my OTP

9. Time Out by Sean Hayes, Todd Milliner, Carlyn Greenwald: I found out a lot of people don’t like this book and it honestly breaks my heart. In this we follow Barclay who's basically a sport legend in his school, at least he was until he decided to come out very publicly and the reception wasn’t what he was anticipating, because of this he leaves the Basketball team and help his friend Amy with school related politics where he also meets Christopher and together they help the voiceless have a voice. Barclay and Christopher's relationship is so sweet and wholesome I loved reading about them watching movies and kissing goodnight. I love non-sexual intimacy. Barclay is also great, he’s really kind and understanding given the circumstances of everything that happened to him. Overall everyone on GoodReads is wrong.

8. Snowflake Kisses by Jordon Greenee, Yayira Dzames: Skylar and Jacob are back! In this book we follow Skylar and Jacob who are spending their first Christmas together. Honestly this book is just vibes, no big conflicts, no third act breakup, no Jacbo’s dad, just pure sugary vibes. Seeing Skylar and Jacob have snowfighters, cuddle in the car, and get each other thoughtful gifts, everything was just so nice. Skylar's parents were also great and seeing them treat Jacob like family made my heart skip a beat. Plus I loved art. Yayira Dzames did an amazing job capturing the characters. Overall My favorite Christmas comic.

7. Iris Kelly Doesn’t Date by Ashley Herring Blake: Small confession, I wasn’t a big fan of Iris in the first two books (Delilah Green Doesn’t Care and Astrid Parker Doesn’t Fail). However I ended up liking her a lot at the end of this book. In this we follow Iris who has given up on dating and sticking to casual hook-ups after her two failed relationships. Unfortunately for Iris who’s a romance author she suffered from writer's block and needed to find inspiration. We also follow Stevie, a struggling actress with anxiety issues trying to get her big break while helping her ex keep her community theater studio open. When Stevie finds herself in a web of lies her and Iris start a fake relationship, this helps Stevie prove to her friends that she doesn’t need her feeling protected and helps Iris find inspiration for her needed book; they of course start actually falling for each other. Iris and Stevie have amazing chemistry throughout the book and I loved how patient Iris is with Stevie when it comes to sex and intimacy. The consent checks and making sure they both enjoyed each other was so hot. Stevie such as sweetheart and I related to her when it comes to how she views sex and her anxiety and Iris is great too. Overall Stevie has my whole heart.

6. The Sun and Star: A Nico di Angelo Adventure by Rick Riordan, Mark Oshiro: Fun fact I didn’t read any Percy Jackson books before this but I liked this anyways. We follow Nico di Angelo the son of Hades and his boyfriend Will Solace the son of Apollo as they travel through the underworld to find their friend Bob who was left behind in Hades Realm. Despite not reading anything Percy Jackson related I loved his adventure, Nico and Will bounce off each other perfectly and I wish there were more books where the main couple are already together because seeing these boyfriends act like boyfriends made my heart flutter. It was such a fun ride from beginning to end and I enjoyed it so much. Overall I should read Percy Jackson.

5. The First to Die at the End by Adam Slivera: This book destroyed me…so 5 stars. This is a prequel of They Both Die at the End, in this book we follow the first ever Decker and see Death-Cast go live for the first time. In this we follow Orion Pagan who lost his parents young and suffers from a deadly heart condition and while he has big dreams for his future he doesn’t see himself living long enough to achieve those dreams and we also follow Valentino Prince who moves to New York with his twin sister to start his molding career, however that’s cut short when he gets the call at midnight. I cried like 4 times reading this book, it was amazing. All the side characters were great and I love multiple POV’s in books. Overall I need more Death-Cast books.

4. Astrid Parker Doesn’t Fail by Ashley Herring Blake: Jordan Everwood is hands down my favorite character. This is the second book in the Bright Falls series and I couldn’t wait to read this one. We follow Astrid who just ended her engagement and is trying to focus on work, we also follow Jordan who helps her grandmother renovate her inn to avoid having to sell. After a not so great first interaction they find themselves working together to fix the inn for a reality tv show. As they work together they start to get to know each other and open up to each other about their family, relationships, and jobs. I loved Astrid in the first book and was so excited to see her story continue and I loved her and Jordan's connection. Overall “You deserve a destiny Jordan Everwood”.

3. The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid: This book was so good! In this we follow Monique who has just been assigned to write the autobiography about famous Hollywood Icon Evelyn Hugo and her glamorous and scandalous life. Evelyn is probably the most complex character I’ve read this year, out of all the characters she felt the most human, she made mistakes and did things she regretted but also had moments of kindness and had to make really tough choices. I liked Monique however if I had to change anything I wish we focused on her more, but what we have is great. Overall I need this to be a movie.

2. Last Night at the Telegraph Club by Malinda Lo: This book has amazing writing, I stayed engaged the whole time and couldn’t stop listening. We follow Lily Hu who is a seventeen year old Chinese American living in ChinaTown. This story takes place in 1954 when the red-scare was a big threat for Chinese Americans. Due to this Lily faces many problems, her father may be deported, her friend group is changing, and she starts developing feelings for other women especially her friend Kath. She and Kath start going to an underground lesbian club called the Telegraph Club. This book was so good, I can barely put it into words. Overall Speechless

1. The Sunbearer Trials by Aiden Thomas: I loved this book! I knew this was gonna be number one because this was the only book I’ve ever dreamt about after reading. In this we follow Teo, a seventeen year old trans son of Quetzal who finds himself in a century old battle to the death. Teo has no training and is convinced he will not make it out alive. I adore everything about this book, the comedy, the characters, the world building, and the plot twist left me speechless. I cannot wait for part 2! Overall I already miss Teo, Niya, Sol, and Aurelio.

[occult-roommates]

Mom's new bestie

After work, Matteo came back home, with Daniele who wanted to spend the weekend with his family for once. He expected to see his mom, Isabella, busy designing new dresses somewhere in the house, but no, she was chatting on the couch, laughing with a woman he had never seen in his life. They clearly were in a deep conversation, so he didn't want to interrupt them, but he felt curious.

Matteo: Mom, who is that? Isabella: Matteo, this is Farida, I met her yesterday at the conference I attended about spellcastresses and matriarchy. Farida, this my son Matteo, I met him when I gave birth to him. Farida: Hi Matteo. Matteo: Are you really wearing that god awful hat again? Isabella: I am wearing it to show my support to you, because you are my son and I love you. Daniele: Yeah but he's right. Forest green with a ribbon the pastel color of the trans flag? Awful. Good message, but not a slay. Isabella: And this, Farida, is my homosexual nephew Daniele. I adopted him when his parents rejected him when he began losing his power as a child.

Whatever, Matteo can just go to his bedroom and let his mom be happy with her little new friend.

Daniele: You look familiar. I think I saw you somewhere before. Farida: Unlikely, last time I went to San Myshuno was in the 90s, unless you saw me elsewhere. I live in Oasis Spring. Daniele: I have a friend who's from there, his name is Dawud Sahan. Farida: ...That is the name of my son.

Oh, yeah that's right. Dawud had mentioned his mom was in town that week. What were the odd. Well, how funny it is that it seems like his aunt is getting along with her, the same way he's getting along with Dawud. Then, he went to his old bedroom too as he had nothing else to say.

Isabella: You didn't told me you had children. Farida: Oh, I only have one son too. I wanted at least two kids, and at least one daughter, but it never worked out. Isabella: And what about his father? Cause you mentioned you're single, so... Farida: Um, well he's dead, but I'm not really a widow. We divorced a few years before. It's sad, I really should have listened to my mother. Isabella: What do you mean by that? Farida: You see, my ex-husband and I were both born in the city of Basra, in Iraq, and we both moved to Arizona when we were children...Though we actually didn't met back then, as we grew up in different cities. My cousin, however, did grew up in the same as him and so, when I moved to Oasis Spring for college, my cousin made me met my ex right away. We fell in love pretty fast and six months later, we were married. I was 18, he was 19. My mom scolded me pretty hard, she could not stop us as we were adult even if very young one, but she believed I was worth better than getting married at that age. As to make this worse, I wanted children right away, while still in my freshman year of college. My mother was pissed, she did not abandonned her entire life for her daughter to be a housewife before turning 20.

"Thankfully", either her or Rashid probably had some fertility issues. She tried for years and years to get pregnant, and the few times she did succeed, it ended up having a miscarriage. At least, it gave her the time to graduate and start her adult life without also having to worry about taking care of an actual living baby. Then, shortly before her 7th wedding anniversary, Dawud was born.

However, since Farida really, really wanted a daughter, they went through the trouble of conceiving again. Then it happened, they were gonna have a girl aaaand...she was a stillborn. Every single dead fetus put an extra strain on their relationship, and now an actual dead baby was just the extra little thing to make their mariage also non-viable. This time, after seven years, they decided to divorce.

Isabella: Oh, I'm so sorry. It must have been so rough for you. Farida: Well, I'm fine now. I'm just sad I never got to have my own little girl. My best friend, who I met in a mommy group when I was expecting my son, had a girl and I'll admit, I've always been a little bit jealous of her. Isabella: But is your son healthy? Is he making you proud?

After a long moment of silence, Farida simply followed with:

Farida: ...I think he's healthy.

Prev - Next

[snvxiii]

Celeste Overview

Character overview about my OC, Celeste. Sazh is married to her. I made her, because I am sick of unnamed dead mothers and wives.

About

Celeste is a former pilot. A few months before the events of XIII, a malfunction caused her ship to crash.* Suffering terrible injuries, doctors say it's unlikely she'll ever wake from her coma. However, she wakes the day after the Purge, overcome with a sense of dread. Some called it a miracle. Others called it misfortune, for waking to the news of her son's fate and her husband's missing whereabouts.

After the fall, she spends the next year recovering and regaining her ability to walk. After her accident, she became afraid of flying. However, one day, she hopes to regain her love for the skies again.

*The story made the news for being such a rare incident. Airship malfunctions almost never happen, given how they're built and powered by fal'Cie. Some think it's a freak, one-off accident; some blame the humans involved (both Celeste and those involved in its building); others take it as a sign of the fal'Cie weakening; as well as, many other theories. It's unknown what the cause of the failure had been. That said, it's a little suspicious, how quickly the incident had been brushed under the rug soon after...

Sazh and Celeste

She and Sazh had been coworkers, before they started dating. They joined around the same time, but didn't get to know each other until after a sudden, unplanned storm.* Land-bound, they both ended up at the same bar of the same restaurant, in the seats right next to each other. From then, they started seeking each other out during their downtime.

They'd been dating for five years, before having Dajh. Dajh had been a surprise, but a welcome one. They'd been thinking about starting a family, but a little later in their careers.

*Note: given how Cocoon's environments are all artificial, I like to think there's a weather schedule that actually charts out the weather and seasons–all planned down to the minute. It's managed by humans. Sometimes, mistakes happen and a storm comes out of nowhere. Nothing disastrous, though. The fal'Cie in charge will shut it down when directed.

Other

Celeste is a watercolor hobbyist, officially. She's awful at it, but enjoys the process. She most enjoys painting scenes of the skies–at all times of day–and open fields.

Unofficially, Celeste is a starter, but not a finisher. She has many unfinished crafts and quarter-started projects. She collects hobbies. She has an entire basket full of yarn, because she swore she was going to knit all of Dajh's baby clothes. She made a hat once, before realizing she made a mistake. It did fit him for, like, a month though. That was nice.

She enjoys star-gazing, but doesn't know any names of constellations. On one of their dates, Sazh tried to impress her by learning as many names as he could. She was, in fact, impressed despite not knowing which ones he was pointing at.

Like Sazh, Celeste knows how to use a pistol in case of emergencies.

Her favorite color is lavender. That said, she gravitates towards any bright and vibrant color palettes. Oh, but she also likes those cool, ocean-y ones too... Their house has a lot of mismatched furniture and misc. she thought looked cool. She tends to assign a lot of sentimentality to objects.

Her favorite mascot is Carbuncle. Sazh may or may not have snagged a key chain for her from when he visited Nautilus with Vanille.

She's 41–older than Sazh by a couple of months. She's an Aries, born March 14, and bi.

She still brags about the spelling bee contest she won as a kid. Her rival placed second. They're friends now, but they hated each other as kids despite their parents being friends (haha).

She loves eating meat, her favorite meals involve steak. Her least favorite meals are boring salads.

Had she been a l'Cie, her paradigm roles would be Synergist, Commando, and Saboteur. Celeste works well with others and takes well to leadership roles. She has a lot of experience in supporting her team and takes a genuine interest in the lives of others. Her main element would be Wind.

Her weakness is that she's been taken advantage of in the past–by bad friends and poor bosses. She's used to being an over performer and is easily disappointed when she doesn't meet her own expectations. She spent much of her twenties and thirties learning how to assert herself and establish boundaries–both for herself and her relationships.

She doesn't remember much of the accident.

She looks forward to meeting Fang and Vanille.

[she-ra-ra-skirt]

Ok story time. I'll warn you now that I talk in general terms about abusive relationships and how they affected me, again in general terms. You can read this paragraph because I will end it by saying I am safe, happy and thriving and I hope the same for you.

So I met my ex when I was young and in a shitty situation at home, and I needed to get out, so I jumped at the chance to get together with him.

He was 5 years older than me and seemed so charming and sophisticated and everything I needed in a man, calm, kind and generous but it was all bullshit. Slowly, over time, well, after we had got married and he'd trapped me, it deteriorated into a coercive, controlling relationship. I wouldn't even call it a relationship, just a situation I was in.

After many, many years, I got a new job with good pay and met some amazing, lovely supportive people and knew I had to leave to save myself. It was also the year that a Act came into law in the UK that recognised coercive control and a woman successfully got her husband charged with it, so I knew it would be taken seriously as it's so hard to get proof of being controlled.

Anyway, I left with just the clothes I stood up in, and yes, that is an expression you read in books but you don't know what it's like until you literally only have the clothes on your back. Anyway, I moved to somewhere safe and even with my crushingly low confidence and self esteem, I hung onto my job as I needed something consistent in my life and to see the people I was friends with.

Covid hit and with it lockdowns that, well, really messed with my head but at least I lived safely on my own and I got through it.

Whilst at work, I wanted something easy to do so I begged for some easy work even though I usually got complicated stuff, due to being experienced. I have to say, as soon as I got it, I regretted it, as it was actually quite boring! Yeah, you can't win with me, so I kept my mouth shut and did the best I could with it.

There was a consultant who had put in the application that I was working and I was on sick leave when he rang and I answered the phone, not telling him I was off sick as I really liked his voice. Well, we talked for 2 hours and I was enraptured.

It turns out he was too, so we phoned and text a lot during lockdown and really got to know each other. Geographically we live miles apart from each other but we were both single and got on so very well, that we quickly became friends. And then he asked me out and I said yes!

I told him all about what happened to me and he was super supportive and it was exactly what I needed and I slowly but surely fell in love with him.

Now I'm Generation X, but I do believe people can get to really know each other through technology and that what we have is a 'proper' relationship unlike my Boomer parents. So for years, we've been backwards and forwards and really getting to know each other. He had to sell his house that he owned with his ex before he'd move things forward with me, so it's ben years and I adore that man so much, I could get very mushy about him right now, but won't.

He sold his house at the start of this year but I've been finishing off my therapies for the abusive relationship, so we haven't physically met yet but we want to. Well, last month he invited me to visit him and stay with him in a fancy hotel whilst he's away with work. So it's somewhere neutral and that he thinks will impress me, which I'm really not bothered about, but he is. I'm soooo excited.

The thing is, that it's at the end of next month and I'm getting really nervous about it. I have put safety measure in place so I can just look forward to meeting him, but still, my nerves are building.

I know we'll get on in person exactly as we do online so that's not a worry but it feels like things will suddenly move forward for us.

I do believe in marriage, despite my last one being shitty and it's important to me to have his last name, as I changed all my names, first, middle and last so my ex husband can't find me. It's therefore important to me to change my name to the same as his to show that we're a family and I want to share my whole life with him. I know he wants me to take his name so that we are more...I don't know, a couple together. He thinks names aren't that important and you should 'wear your name lightly' as Terry Pratchett said, but to me it's the opposite. I chose my name and it means the world to me, and I really want to take his so that I feel like I've really connected my life to his and I'm proud to tell everyone that I'm his wife.

So yeah, I also really like sparkly rings so I'm hoping for a lab grown diamond ring and a romantic proposal, although I won't get my hopes up. although it is too late if I'm honest, ha, as I've said I'll move into somewhere rented with him whilst we decide where to live permanently. Rented isn't such a big commitment as I could move out if things went wrong, even though I know they won't.

So after the worst period of my life, where I met this amazing man who helped me through it and asked for nothing in return, I'm about to get my romantic fiction book ending. Where we get married and live together and have a soft, gentle home where everyone is welcome and where I'll have a little sign saying 'leave your armour at the door' as it won't ever be needed in my house.

I'm so excited for my future and I've been planning my wedding on Pinterest. Although my friend pointed out I've been planning it for a long as she's known me and I was still married to my ex husband at the time heh heh.

I wanted to say this out loud, well in writing anyway, as it makes it real and I can feel how happy and relaxed I feel about being with him, which means it's the right thing for me.

[texshire-books]

Coming soon - Sycamore Cottage, a tale of romance, murder and the paranormal

Daisy

I’m walking along a long, deserted beach at Broad Haven, that to those who are unfamiliar with this particular part of Wales is along the rugged and beautiful coastline of Pembrokeshire. I’m holding hands with my partner Nadia my best friend and lover. We do this every day, together with my dog who is currently annoying crabs in a rock pool. We do this every day, rain or shine. It’s become a way of life and for ex Londoners it was quite a culture shock and something that took a while to get used to. We’re not alone, I’ve just passed my dad Tim’s house, he saw us, came to the door and waved. He is married to Carol. He escaped from the rat race too.

I’d just spoken to a guy called Greg. Paul, a guy I had known through transitioning when I lived in London, had made contact through his sources. Paul had an amazing story to tell but had suggested I contacted a Greg James who could better tell it himself. He was on the road, travelling home and I was expecting his call anytime now.

‘Ever been to Scarborough?’ I asked Nadia.

‘I’ve let my passport lapse.’ She replied.

‘No, you haven’t, you were sunning your backside in Greece last year and we’ve got another holiday booked in Spain – you haven’t really, have you?’ I asked alarmed. Getting passports renewed took for ever and I didn’t want a last-minute panic to arise.

‘Perhaps I should have just said no!’ I was puzzled now; Nadia could be like that.

‘Was that no, you haven’t let it lapse or you don’t know where Scarborough is?’

‘Both!’ I was still none the wiser.

‘You do know where Yorkshire is – yes?’ I went back to basics.

‘I hope so, I was born there.’ I never knew that.

‘Really where in Yorkshire?’ I decided to ask.

‘An enclave of Pakistan called Bradford, or a little way outside.’

‘When did you move to London?’

‘When I was about 3, I don’t remember too much.’ I couldn’t recall too much at that age either. I quickly remembered the rows at home between my parents, well, my nasty evil bitch of a mother anyway!’ I could never forget that. ‘I guess we’d better head back, those clouds don’t look great, we could get soaked and then I’d have the chore of taking all your wet clothes off.’ Nadia bumped into me, a barging movement she did for fun, to get my attention.

‘Sorry, I know I create a lot of extra work for you.’ We turned; I called the dog who was miles away in the distance. He came bounding back just as my phone rang.

‘Hello, Daisy speaking.’ I answered quickly.

‘It’s Greg James, we spoke briefly earlier.’ He replied.

‘Hello Greg James, Paul tells me you have quite a tale to tell.’ I replied.

‘It’s a very serious tale, it’s complex too.’

‘Aren’t all the best tales? That’s my experience anyway, fire away, give me a brief outline at least.’ For the next ten minutes I listened avidly to a chilling story. Unlike so many I’d heard this one was very current and certainly active.

‘So, Sibyl is missing in every respect, her physical remains as well those spiritual. Have you any thoughts where she might be found?’ I asked.

‘My guess is she returned to her house and she’s in there. Poppy could go inside and check but it’s twenty miles away. I sense the police are at the house still searching and the lakes where I just know her body will be is just a few miles away. I haven’t even got a car right now, having just handed mine back.’ Greg replied.

‘It’s probably not wise for you to be seen near the house now but at least once you have your own transportation you won’t have this Clancy arsehole tracking your every move.’ I wasn’t frightened to put my own graphic description to a man who by any measure was beyond evil.

‘I’ll make a few calls, see if I can find a good deal, it’s getting to see the car that is the main challenge.’ He added.

‘Maybe I can help there, that’s if you can wait a few hours.’ I suggested.

‘How, from all accounts you are about as far distance west to east as north to south - John O’Groats to Lands End?’ He made an interesting observation I hadn’t even considered. Broad Haven on the Pembrokeshire coast of Wales to Scarborough was a jaunt.

‘In that case, it’s best we get on the road as soon as possible.’

‘Really, that must be 400 miles, that’s quite a trek.’ Greg starkly described the challenging journey which was a mixture of road systems.

‘382 actually Greg, I’ve already checked from here to Scarborough. Once I get to Swansea, it’s pretty much motorway standard to York and I’ve actually been to Scarborough, so I know the road onwards to there is pretty good too. 7 hours Greg.’

‘You said we, that suggests you won’t be alone.’ He queried. Here was a man who picked up on details. I liked that. It suggested he’d be a good sounding board for challenges to come.

‘I’ll be bringing Nadia; we are joined at the hip. I only found out a few minutes ago she was born in Bradford, not too far from you.’

‘That might present a slight problem?’  He queried.

‘Why?’ My turn to query.

‘I’ve only got one bed.’

‘What are you suggesting Greg. I hardly know you. It is a bit early for a threesome!’

‘Oh god no, I wasn’t suggesting anything untoward!’ I could hear the embarrassment in his voice.

‘Relax, I’m joking, besides even if we did all sleep together nothing remotely like that could ever take place.’ I wondered if he’d cottoned on to Nadia and our sexual preferences. His reply suggested he did.

‘So, you and Nadia…...?’  He left me to join up the dots.

‘Yes Greg, we are a couple. Don’t worry about the sleeping arrangements, we’ll manage.

‘Okay, I’ll expect you when I see you. I live in Wenbury, you’ll know you’re in the right village because when you arrive, everyone will be out on their doorsteps watching and when you head towards Sycamore Cottage, which is the first cottage you see on your right when you enter, they will all go into a frenzy of panic because it’s haunted, apparently! You might even have an audience with Doris the village gossip and soothsayer, and her predictions are usually dire!’  The call ended there; we had continued walking while I was on the phone, and I could see our home just ahead as spots of rain started before what seemed like a likely deluge. We’d just pack a bag of things to last a few days and then; after dropping the dog off at my dad’s, we would get on the road and head east.

We took turns to drive. While motorways were fast and ate the miles, they were boringly monotonous. We drove just 90 miles before our first break which included a trip to the ladies! Refreshed and comfortable in other ways, we ploughed on. I’d taken the first stint, now Nadia had her turn behind the wheel. I loved to look at her. Her delicate Dresden china features enhanced her Asian heritage. I remember how we met, the trauma she suffered in her home life, especially after she was raped on a night out her father, a strict Muslim had predicted would be her fate. I told you so was rammed into her, and she later took her own life. This made returning difficult, and an added complication arose because her own transition back to life, came about by grasping her donor’s hand without consent. That donor, a perfect match as it was her father! Nadia had inadvertently taken her mother’s life too by embracing her, a mother relieved to be gone from a life of violence and drudgery, created by an abusive marriage. Incredibly her mother now lived in the same community as Paul frequented and his story was just as unique as Nadia’s.

We were just past Newport on the M4, we’d soon hit the Almondsbury interchange, where drivers had a choice of straight on towards London, south to Devon and Cornwall or as we were heading North to Birmingham and beyond. There was a remarkable Gloucester services ahead which was far more than somewhere to refuel and stop for refreshments, to rest up. Enterprising locals had created a location which sold local produce and people traveled for miles just for that reason alone. Our need to stop was almost now a minor event. I just hoped we didn’t have to queue or even worse, not get in at all.

We didn’t stay long. Nadia looked tired so rather than sit inside, after our natural break, we took coffee and a baguette back to the car and consumed it there.

‘I feel bushed, I’m glad you’re doing the next part.’ Nadia remarked, we’d finished, and I had just returned from dumping our finished polystyrene cups and plastic wrapping in the waste bin.

‘Close your eyes sweetheart, I love glancing over while you sleep.’ I did, I often grabbed those almost instant snapshots of her sleeping, sometimes, when I could see her deep in thought. Taking my eyes off the road just for the briefest of moments but returning them with that image now embedded in my brain as well as my heart. We hadn’t always been this close. I’d met Nadia cowering in a shop doorway, a ghostly figure I could see while everyone walking past, going about their day-to-day business, could not. She had four violent controlling brothers whom she feared would kill her for dishonouring her family. Her father had entered an agreement for her to marry a man she’d never met. Money and property carried more weight than love. Such emotions didn’t enter her father’s thinking. Then she got raped, the men who did it suffering retribution dished out by her brothers. Going to the police was unthinkable, her father not willing to consider for an instant the stain on his family resulting from an investigation which would have made the news locally. Instead, Nadia found she was to be shipped back to Pakistan as damaged goods. Married to some smelly bag of rags with a lice infested beard. Put amongst other women he owned to scrub and clean and provide sexual gratification as a bonus. She’d said she’d rather die than submit to that and thus she was found unconscious somewhere she’d chosen as a final act of rebellion. A Christian graveyard clutching a carved stone cross an overdose of barbiturate in her system. Incredibly when police had arrived at the house to break the news of her death, her father, the main and only spokesperson of the family said there had been a mistake. His daughter had left the country, returned to Pakistan to marry, so her body was not claimed, and she was disposed of.

My own family life was little better, although thankfully not violent as was the case with Nadia. My home and family life was akin to a war zone. My father Tim having married my mother Angela who was a nasty, scheming, evil bitch who constantly baited and humiliated him. I had three siblings with just one of similar age to me. I soon found myself picked on, isolated from a sister and two brothers because I was different. I had a gift nobody else I knew had. I could see ghosts. We actually had one living with us, Carol. Amazingly, incredibly she knew Paul who later became a key figure in my life. How Carol knew Paul was even more amazing. He’d caused her death on a busy London street by bringing her off the cycle she was riding which in turn threw her under the wheels of a big 4x4 Chelsea tractor. Then, everything came to light when my father Tim didn’t come home one night. He’d been out playing golf. Then, the next morning his car was brought back to the house on a low loader. If that wasn’t unusual him returning was. That was later when the whole family was gathered, a grabbing exercise with my mother there as its main, greedy and grasping centrepiece. My father had died on a golf course; he had returned by sitting in the driver seat being transported back to the house in his car, strapped to the low loader. He was now in the room where this ugly, unseemly bun fight was taking place. I walked in with my elder sister and saw my father. I didn’t scream, but my shock was evident when I rushed out. My action providing more ammunition for Angela to suggest I was mentally disturbed and needed to be put away. That moment was really when I finally got introduced to Carol, our long-term house ghost, to whom my dad is now solidly married. I’d known of Carol since I was 5, possibly even younger. So, ghosts never frightened me. They were no threat. The only risk I ever had would result from the actions of people like my mother who merely labelled people like me, people who could see and communicate with ghosts as barking mad!

 I’d really given the car a workout, Nadia was still out for the count, but the journey was taking its toll on me. I stopped at Ferrybridge services on the A1M and called Greg while I sent Nadia in for coffee to keep me awake.

‘Hi Daisy, how’s it going?’

‘Well Greg we are in West Yorkshire, Ferrybridge Services to be precise.’ I heard surprise in his voice.

‘Wow, that is some going, are you okay?’

‘Yes, I’m totally knackered if that is possible for a woman!’ I replied. ‘I’ve had my foot down all the way since our first stop. Outside lane, headlights on all the way.’ I saw Nadia heading back. ‘Nadia will do the next section. It should be our last, another hour and a half tops. Do you want to pre-warn the neighbours?’ I asked laughing. Nadia was back and she took her seat beside me.

‘I’ve just seen on the news. Police divers are at the lake. I guess we will soon find out if my hunch is correct. Hopefully if it is, Ruben Clancy will have some awkward questions to answer.’ I wondered.

‘We can hope Greg, but the way things work in this world, and the bastard we are dealing with here, it’s more than possible you might be in the firing line too.’ There was silence on the end of the line briefly.

‘Really, you think so?’

‘Yes, Greg I do. From those final words of his, you described, I think he could turn it all back onto you. I’d think about how you might answer those questions, should they arise.’ We didn’t continue our conversation. I finished the call and headed off to the services. Coffee tended to go straight through me, and I needed the loo before we continued. When i returned Nadia was seated high up in my Range Rover belted up ready to go and with twilight approaching and our lights turned on, we headed north.

[the-cat-chat]

April 27, 2024

Silver Linings Playbook (2012)

After a stint in a mental institution, former teacher Pat Solitano moves back in with his parents and tries to reconcile with his ex-wife. Things get more challenging when Pat meets Tiffany, a mysterious girl with problems of her own.

Warning: Review may contain spoilers. Read at your own risk.

JayBell: The only thing I knew about this movie before watching it was that Jennifer Lawrence won an Oscar for it and also tripped up the stairs while going onstage. Because I remember that happening, and the fact that it was 10+ years ago makes me want to cry cause it makes me feel old.

I like that this movie showcases a rather unconventional love story between two verrrrry imperfect people. It feels more unique and interesting as a result. And it's true, having severe psychological issues doesn't make you immune to falling in love. Their characters are so troubled, but they kind of bond over being troubled if that makes sense. They are dysfunctional separately and maybe slightly less dysfunctional together.

I have nothing but good things to say about the performances, Jennifer Lawrence especially. Bradley Cooper portrayed an extremely intense character, and his level of desperation and denial had me on edge in the beginning of the movie.

Now I don't think this movie makes it into my favorites for several reasons.

Some elements of the plot feel disconnected from the others. For example, their individual psychological issues (especially Bradley Cooper's character's) is kind of dropped from the story? The explorations of their psychological issues appears significant in the beginning of the movie, but isn't given that same treatment all the way through. Similarly, some family conflicts feel unresolved as does the whole married friends situation.

It's also a little crazy how absolutely no one in Bradley Cooper's family confronts him about how unhealthy his former relationship with his ex was (except briefly from JLaw). He's obsessed with getting her back, but his parents never ask him why he wants her back after the affair? I get that they may be reticent to bring it up directly, but they never even hint or imply that his former relationship was an undesirable one. I would have appreciated at least an attempt to talk to him about it, even if the conversation is shut down.

In the end, I appreciate a different kind of love story with complex characters and good acting, even if I didn't end up loving the movie as a whole.

Rating: 6/10 cats 🐈

Anzie: I have to start by saying I don’t typically rewatch movies a lot- but when this came out so many years ago, I loved it and it ever couple months or years we’d give it a rewatch. So it was TIMEEEEE!

Now is it a little cringe 12 years later?? Uh yeah. The iPod thing really messed me up. They don’t even make iPods anymore. 😢 And does it feel more overwhelming nowadays?? Yes. For sure. And am I more aware how the father and family is way more messed up than I first realized. Yes. But that all is really what makes it a good movie- the actors do such a good job at portraying not only mental illness but also life, and how mental illness affects family dynamics and relationships and how when you love someone that has mental illness you have to go through it with them ( unlike his stooopid cheater wife) Is it absolutely 10/10 perfect??? Noooo - but neither is real life so hey- I think it’s still preetttty good.

^ special shout out to his manic 3am rant about books. I felt that. (And the look on Robert De Niro’s face).

Rating: 6/10 Cats 🐈

[theyreonlynoodlesmike]

i have a mad thomas x reader request where reader is forced to marry thomas (idk how just-) and is disgusted about it but eventually ends up liking him.(? idk how to explain myself:’)

No one look at me,,,,,,,,,,also this is heavily inspired by the Scarlet Letter and was supposed to be a tad darker but I copped out (also someone asked for a pregnant reader recently so this + that = this fic)

A Lie They Would Believe (Mad Thomas x Fem!Reader)

Warnings: dark themes, 1600 standards, values, and laws, affairs/cheating, ex-relationship with the pastor is mentioned, Thomas is Thomas, mentions of drinking, webs of lies, public humiliation, AFAB and Fem reader, pregnant reader, pre-marital pregnancy solved a la shotgun marriage, twisted win-win situation turns into love?, slow burn(?),

Word Count: 3.7k

You could accept your punishment with a turned cheek, you told yourself over and over again.

You could stare out at the audience of towns people, even as the sun beat on your face. You could stare out into the angry faces of the elders, into the pitying faces of your friends. Into the ashamed faces of your parents. But, you could not look at Cyrus Miller.

You'd missed your blood two months ago. You'd begged, prayed, everyday that it would come. But, the only thing that came was the morning sickness. You'd tried to hide it, tried to think of what to do. But, when you placed your hand over your stomach, you couldn't bring yourself to find the hag in the forest. And, when your mother held your spotless, white sheets in your face, you'd crumbled. You confessed in the privacy of your room as if you were confessing in church. You told her everything.

Well, almost.

"Tell us his name!" Cyrus said, a voice that you couldn't force to fall into the background. "Tell us the name of your accomplice and you shall suffer no more." He said, and you wanted to believe him. You let your eyes close for a moment, but your lips did not move. Your mouth did not open. "Tell us the father's name, so that your baby will not be born a bastard!" He said, and his hand reached out to grab your arm. His grip was strong and tight, unlike the caresses you'd become so accustomed to with him. While his words begged you to say the name, his name, the action spoke differently. You peeled open your eyes and looked up at him, at his raven hair and kind face. His dark, soft eyes. Tears pricked the corners of your own eyes, hard and glassy as you looked up at him. But, you were silent. Even as some of the townspeople yelled for you to confess.

But, how could you tell them that it was your persecutor who was the father of your child? That your pastor, the leader of this town, had sinned so egregiously? He had a wife, a daughter. You'd known both of those things when you'd fallen for him, but it was harder to ignore in the harsh sunlight. When both of them stood in front of you.

You knew you'd have to face punishment. Sex before marriage was a crime after all, completely forbidden. To think they didn't know you were an adulterer also. You didn't know what it'd be, but you knew you'd have no option but to accept it when it came. You'd already made your peace with it, made your peace with whatever God could condemn you to. Perhaps, you'd have to live alone, wear a scarlet letter on your breast. Perhaps, they'd cast you out completely, and you'd be shunned. Perhaps, they'd hang you. You touched your stomach at that thought. Perhaps, there were certain punishments you couldn't bear.

Your lips only fell open when a voice yelled,

"It was I." And a gasp fell from your mouth. Your head turned, snapped towards the voice. Towards the sea of faces that was the crowd. But, you knew that voice. "It's my child." He said, and your eyes fell on a face you knew all too well. And, at that moment, you knew exactly what type of punishment God had set out for you.

Mad Thomas.

***

The day had gone by in a blur.

Over and over in your head, one question repeated itself. Why? It was almost loud enough to drown out the constant whispers, the stories being spun by every person who seemed to have a tongue.

Union couldn't seem to stop talking about it. Of when it started, how long it'd been going on, when the pair of you had even had time to sneak off. You'd even heard a young Constance Berman whisper about how she'd always known something was going on between the two of you, only to be shushed by her older sister as you passed. As you'd been let free of the top of the church steps.

You'd been left outside, left out in the sun. Inside the church went your father, the pastor, and Thomas. You had no idea what Thomas was going to say, what lies he was going to spin.

You couldn't bring yourself to leave, to speak. You felt as though a blanket of white noise had covered your ears, covered your mind. You were surprised, to say the least. You'd thought a wave of devastation had washed over you the first moment you'd realized you were with child, but this? It made it seem like ripples in a pond. The only thing you could do was stare at the church door and wait for them to come out. But, you felt a warm arm wrap around your waist and you turned to see the face of your mother.

"Come," She said, and you looked back at the door blankly. You didn't want to leave. You wanted to be there when they came out. But, you couldn't find the words to say or the strength to keep your feet firm. So, you let her guide you away from the crowd, and towards your house.

It was only later that you were told you and Thomas were to be married by the end of the month.

***

You and Thomas were never allowed a moment alone. You didn't know whether to be relieved or not, but Thomas, a man who you quickly found was far more confusing than you thought, was playing a charade. He brought you flowers, carried your water pail for you, and even took you on chaperoned walks. You, however, were stony and stiff, barely able to contain your disgust for him. It was on your first walk that you whispered,

"Why? Why are you doing this?" And, for a moment, the incorrigible man seemed to pretend not to hear you. He glanced over his shoulder, as if the wind was at his ear instead, and you saw him cast a sly glance to the man behind them. It was one of your father's friends, walking only about two yards behind you. Finally, when he decided he was far away enough, he responded,

"Would you rather I had let them cast you out? Let you and your child starve in the woods?" Thomas said back, the most sober you'd ever heard him. It seemed that apart of your father's deal with him was that he cut back on the drink. He didn't even stumble as he walked.

"Don't pretend you did this out of charity. Why, Thomas?" You asked, and you, for only a moment, reached out to touch his arm. You pulled it back just as quick, hoping that your chaperone hadn't seen. Thomas looked down at the action, before he smirked and shook his head.

"Aren't we a perfect match?" He asked, and you gave him a look of confusion. He continued with, "You think I don't know what people say about me? Don't you see, girl? It doesn't matter if your father is the best woodworker, or the richest in Union anymore. No one would have you, or your bastard child. Except me." He said, and you almost couldn't believe the words coming out of his mouth. He continued, his words a whisper now, "Besides, it's a lie they would believe." You stared at him, flabbergasted by his words. Flabbergasted by how right he was.

Thomas had, well, a reputation. It wasn't out of character for his wedding to be one out of necessity, and perhaps it earned you some pity from the townspeople. How many women had Thomas seduced? And how many of them could truly judge you? Not to mention, his words left one thing clear.

So, it was my dowry, you thought. It wasn't an unheard of reason, and it made sense given the man you were talking to. Your father had been avoiding selling you off, even as you reached far into your womanhood. And, surely, your father would never have considered him under any normal circumstance, but now...You didn't seem to have much of a choice.

Thomas paused, picking up one of the wildflowers and handing it to you. You took it, knowing now that you had to play along. That you had to act as if he truly was the father of your child, and not someone as foreign to you as the land outside of Union.

"Your father was going to start building us a house. I was thinking right here," Thomas said, his voice only slightly louder for the chaperone to hear, but you barely paid attention. You were staring down at the yellow flower in your hands, before you glanced up at the man in front of you.

He was tall, but his hair was lighter. His cheeks were stubbly and his eyes- They were a clear blue. Almost the same shade as the sky above you. You watched as he talked, as he laid out his plan. And, while the idea of being married to anyone that you didn't love sickened you, you tried to tell yourself that it wouldn't be as terrible as you felt it would be.

***

You and Thomas sat out in the sun, where you were making a flower crown and he was rambling about one thing or the other. You'd gotten very good at pretending to be in love, even in the span of only a couple of weeks.

You gave him smiles and laughter, and he gave you gifts or stole a caress. It was enough to stir the people of Union so no one would be the wiser. And, with your father at his station a short way across the field, the pair of you could be somewhat alone. But, still within viewing distance.

"You're not listening." Thomas said, and you smiled to yourself for a moment. You looked at the finished crown, before you looked up and reached over to where he was laying on the blanket. He was half-sitting up, and you placed the flower crown atop his head as you said,

"Yes, I was." You replied simply as you adjusted it, and Thomas stared at you and gave a small scoff. He caught your hand as you went to pull it away, his grip loose. He held it almost gently, and said,

"Then kiss me." And your brows drew together. A quick,

"What?" Fell from your lips, and you watched how Thomas smiled. He laughed, letting your hand go as he said,

"So, you weren't listening-" But you were quick to interrupt him.

"Why would- Why?" The idea- the simple idea was preposterous. Why would you kiss him? In broad daylight no less? The suggestion made you nervous, made a weird feeling start in your stomach. And, you ignored how this feeling wasn't entirely unfamiliar.

"They're going to expect us to kiss on our wedding day, girl. Shouldn't we have some practice?" He said, and you thought perhaps the first time he proposed it had been kinder. You stared at him, thinking over his words. Thomas waited, reaching out to touch your skirt. It was only to pick at it for a moment, before he drew his hand away.

You couldn't tell if that was the only reason Thomas wanted to kiss you, if there wasn't some ulterior motive somewhere. You wouldn't put it past him. But, really, he was right. Not to mention, while the pair of you had been affectionate, had you been affectionate enough?

That's what was so aggravating about Thomas. He was always right. He saw clear through whatever facade anyone put up, and saw the truth. Perhaps, that's why he was such a good liar.

Perhaps, that's why he was staring at you.

"Fine." You said, before you looked over your shoulder. You were in the field, but you were more or less a public spectacle. You could hear Thomas draw closer, feel the warmth of his hand reach for your arm.

"Let them look." He said as he gave a tug on your arm, and you turned back to face him. It was strange to hear him say that, such a stark difference from what you were used to. To have him so close was different than before, but Thomas didn't close the gap. You supposed he was waiting for you to do that. He whispered, "Well?" And, finally, you did. It was a short kiss, a quick stolen one. Still, it made Thomas smile. "So chaste." He let out a small laugh, and it was your turn to scoff. "Are you sure-" And you could guess what he was going to say. You kissed him again, if only to silence him. It was deeper, firmer than your last had been. And you hated to admit that you didn't hate it. Thomas was well-practiced, and the feeling of his thumb grazing your cheek was nearly as warm as the feeling of the sun on your back. It made another feeling start, one that you tried to stamp out that very second. You pulled away again, cutting it short. Thomas, for just a moment, tried to follow you before he pulled back. He had a small smile on his face, one he didn't try to hide as he pushed his hair back.

"You're practiced." You said quietly, the closest thing to a compliment you could give him. You'd heard rumors of him galavanting with the likes of Abbi Berman and some of the others. Perhaps, there was some truth to them. Thomas glanced over, and returned the words,

"Aye, so are you." When he smiled and glanced down at your belly, you knew the jab had been intended. And, unfortunately, he'd managed to make you laugh.

***

You knew it was coming. You had prepared yourself for it. Before the wedding, the pastor would counsel both of you. And, he was going to counsel you first.

You stood in a dress your mother had made, with your corset done loosely as not to press on your stomach. You'd been staring out the window, at the cloudless day and the happy faces of your town. Why shouldn't they be happy? It was the day for a celebration.

You'd even caught glimpses of Thomas. Your mother was fussing over him, and Issac had swiped his pouch. He looked- Well, you could tell he'd been scrubbed down. Most of his teeth were still black, but in clean clothes and with a clean face...Perhaps, he didn't look terrible. You tilted your head, and, almost as if he could feel you staring, Thomas' head turned. He caught your eyes, and reflected your posture with a tilt of his own head. It made you smile, something you found was less forced the more time you spent with him. Your head turned from him when you heard someone come in.

"Wonderful day for a wedding." Cyrus said as he closed the door to the chapel, and you tried to manage a smile. "Sit." He said, and gestured to one of the pews. You did, and you both kept your distance. The chapel was dim, only lit by the light outside. The pair of you were silent for a moment, before Cyrus said, "The magistrate is here. He seems eager to start. Do you," He paused for a moment. "Do you have any doubts?" And you felt that the question was not quite as empty as anyone else would think.

You'd been staring at your hands, and you finally lifted your gaze to him. To his deep, dark brown eyes. After a moment, you found your voice.

"None at all. Thomas is- He shall be the father to his child, and he shall be my husband. I shall do my duties, and, I- I love him." It was hard to say, at least when Cyrus sat in front of you. "What is there to doubt?" You asked, your question equally as heavy. While none of you would say it plainly, you knew from the way he looked over your face that he understood you perfectly. The pair of you would never confess your secret, and you'd let the hatchet be buried. Forgotten.

"Does he know?" Cyrus asked, and you knew what it sounded like. In case any of the others were listening. Like he was asking if your soon to be husband knew you loved him. The question couldn't be more disguised. Really, his eyes said, Does he know about us?

"Yes. Or, I think he does." You replied, and you watched how Cyrus reached to touch his clean-shaven face. His face was half hidden by his hand, but you could see his eyes were disturbed. A secret was harder to keep the more people knew, but you said, "And he loves me. He'd do anything to keep this union." You told him, and you hoped he got your meaning. When Cyrus glanced at you, you guessed he did. Silently, your eyes said, If he does, Thomas won't tell. And, after a pause, Cyrus let out a sigh.

"Then, there seems little I have to counsel you on."

***

"Have you thought of a name?" Thomas asked you, and you hummed.

You were picking at your sheet, looking towards the window. It had been months, five if not nearly six. Your baby was due in only a few weeks now, and you still hadn't decided. Your husband, a word to describe him that didn't seem so weird now, laid besides you facing up towards the roof.

Thomas, well, he was not what you thought. He had a good, if not sometimes strange, sense of humor, and did not bruise easily from even the harshest words. He could take care of himself, after years of doing so, and, subsequently, you as well. Your mother and the mid-wife still came by to make sure you were in good health, but Thomas had most of it handled. He was a little lazy when it came to work, especially the work your father tried to give him, but he seemed to find that the work that came with having his own house agreed with him. The pair of you had become- Well, familiar. That was the word you would use. You couldn't say, nearly six months later, that it was still just pretending.

Still, Thomas didn't touch you in any way you wouldn't want him to, and you had to lift your head to throw a glance back to him.

"I have some ideas. Perhaps, if it's a girl," You paused, a sly grin coming to your face, "We could name her Abigail." And you watched him scoff and roll his eyes, even lift his head off of his arm for a moment as he said,

"Absolutely not." And you snickered to yourself as you went back to facing away from him. It was just a jest, a reference to an old dalliance of his, but Thomas, if anything, was fun to tease. The only issue was that Thomas was just as sharp when it came to his wit. "Y'know- Fine. Then, if it's a boy, we shall name him Cyrus." And you let out a noise of protest. You tried to roll over, declaring,

"No!" And now it was Thomas' turn to laugh. He placed a hand on your shoulder, trying to ease you back down. You let him, and even reached to hold his arm. To pull him closer. He followed, and you guided his hand above your bulging stomach as the pair of you adjusted. "Fine- Neither of those names. But, we must think of something." You told him, feeling as he stretched his fingers over where your baby grew. He held you, his warmth against your back. His hand rubbing your stomach lightly.

It made a strange sense of warmth fill you, one you couldn't blame from body-heat. And, it wasn't so terrible that you tried to push it, or him, away.

***

"She cries like no other child in Union." Thomas said as he climbed into your bed. You were supposed to be resting, healing, even weeks, nearly two months, after your child's birth. You felt like you'd been confined to your bed for so long that you were starting to become a part of it. Thomas was only here for the break your father gave him half-way through the day. Still, you smiled to yourself from where you laid on your side, and said,

"Perhaps, it is your smell that disturbs her." You said, your voice thick with sleep but a cheeky grin working onto your face. You shouldn't have prompted him, because he took the opportunity to drape himself heavily over your back.

"Oh, should I sleep outside tonight then?" He asked, and you giggled when you felt his stubble tickling your cheek.

It was already long into the day, and you'd become lazy from bed-rest. It felt far too nice to have his warmth wrapped around you, to where you nearly wanted to fall asleep. You had grown too used to it now, and you could barely imagine a night without it.

"I never said that." You responded, and turned your face back towards the softness of your pillow. You felt Thomas' hand raise, his fingertips brush against your cheek. He was being brave, especially when you felt his lips brush against your neck. It made you bite your lip, a twinge of something not so unfamiliar swirling in your belly. You wondered if he would continue. Hell, you wanted him to. But, it was nothing more than that.

Thomas, to your surprise, had more restraint than you would've assumed. He kissed your cheek, went to stand, and excused himself with,

"Your father will begin to wonder where I am." And you lifted your head to watch him step away, before you settled back down. He was clean, cleaner than he had been when he'd been sleeping in the outhouse. His hair was softer and longer, tied away from his face. And his arms seemed stronger, perhaps from the days of working with your father. He was, if you dared to think so, a kind sight to your eyes now. "Sleep. I'll be back by the time you wake." He told you, and, as he left, you found yourself hoping he was right.

[originalwinnercheesecake]

Chain of Iron theories: the adopted baby

Here is another hot discussion topic in the fandom. CC has hinted that their will be a special baby, and that they will need to be adopted. So Questions, who is giving a baby up and why? I am assuming that this is a Shadowhunter baby. I cannot see either Hypatia Vex or Kellington who party, operate a secret saloon, and take pleasure in seducing interesting artistic individuals deciding to devote themselves to parenthood. Woosley Scott is set to show up, but their is no way he wants to adopt. Every other downworlder has appeared in the future and never made reference to having raised a baby. So which shadowhunters in this series of so many parents, children, and would be couples are looking to adopt? We know that shadowhunters adoption program isn’t perfect; Ariadne being adopted by an elderly white couple who know nothing about Indian culture and Tatiana somehow being allowed to adopt Grace despite the fact that she is aggressive, clearly insane, and famously unable to care for the one child she gave birth to. But I want to hold on to hope that whoever this little baby is their story will end happily with being given a nice home and family. My Theories

Anna and Ariadne  adopt Eugenia’s baby. (retracted)

  This was my original theory. In COG2 we learnt that Eugenia temporarily left home because of some scandal no one really wants to talk about. It apparently involved her and some guy being caught in a “compromising position” after which said guy could have saved things by asking to marry her but did not? ??? This led many people to believe she and this guy had been immanent and that she might now be pregnant., but unable to raise the baby on her own. So she would give it up for adoption. Eugenia’s older sister Barbara had an understanding with a very nice gentleman named Oliver and kept trying to get Oliver to purpose. I wondered if maybe a reason Barbara was in such a rush to marry is she was hoping for her and Oliver to adopt Eugenia’s baby and pass them off as theirs. Now that both Barbara and Oliver are sadly deceased Eugenia would need to look into finding new  parents to take he unborn child. Well spoilers relating to Eugenia state that despite having different interests and hobbies, she and Anna get along well. She also is set to become friends with Ariadne. Ariadne who really wanted to be a mom. So I thought that if Eugenia was pregnant and looking to give her child up for adoption then maybe she would ask Anna and Ariadne to adopt her baby. That had the potential to be sweet.

  But we have gotten more information now, and surprise surprise, people jumped the gun to quick on what happened with Eugenia. While we still do not know what the scandal was, it is hinted to have been way less extreme/serious than premarital intimacy, and she is very unlikely to be pregnant. I am now hoping that her ex got into a fight with some other guy, she stepped in to hit the other guy with a parasol, and her ex got embarrassed about having to be saved by her and broke up with her. Something that shows the guy was a real loser.

Elias puts Baby Carstairs up for adoption

  In COG2 we got a huge surprise that Sona was pregnant with her third child, unexpected as the family tree only lists her and Elias as having two children. Well actually actually the Carstairs family line is tree has parts of it that “Were lost to time”. So something clearly happened. Jem was clearly hiding something.

   This pregnancy was clearly unplanned and does present some worry’s. For starters Sona is well past the age where it easier/safest for women to give have children. She was already starting to have a difficult time with it during COG2 when she finally confessed to Cordelia that she was about 3 months along. This means that she will be about 7 months along (almost ready to give birth) when we pick up again in COI. Well in the early chapter read Alastair said that his mother has been put on Bed rest with her husband staying by her side and silent brothers monitoring her. This does not sound good. Several people have theorized that even with the brothers help, she will not make it through childbirth. Now lets talk about the babies father Elias Carstairs. Elias Carstairs is even older than his wife. He spent his youth traveling the world (I read a tweet that said he has even gone between dimensions before) leading special expeditions and hunting rare and powerful demons. This sounds grand, but it was a grueling life that left him physically and emotionally scared. Tragically the Clave does not recognize mental health as a need, so they do not provide any kind of therapy or treatment for those who become traumatized. Like many poor soldiers throughout American history Elias was there for the Clave when they needed his help but it that help was not reciprocated at the end. The only comfort he found was at the bottom of the bottle. It took Elias until he was already in his 40′s to start a family, and he has struggled with being able to take care of himself enough to act as a father to the two children he and Sona have already raised. Elias is 63. He is sad and tired, and struggling to keep a handle on his sobriety. This child was unplanned. I have read tweets that show he is at least trying to support Sona, but CC reveals he is questioning if or if not he can really do this a third time. If Sona dies there is no way Elias can raise this child himself. I won’t fault him if he makes that choice, it might be the most loving thing he can do.

   Who would adopt the little guy. Well the most common theory is that Alastair and Thomas would become his new dads. Now the family tree does suggest that both Alastair and Thomas are dads in the future. It also doesn’t list the names of either of their spouses (I am guessing neither had wives) so their is nothing to suggest that they do not live together raising a group of adopted children. Given the way the Cave feels about homosexual parents that could also be why Jem “lost” the records. I will not deny Thomstair becoming adopted parents is plausible, but I am not completely sure that baby Carstaris is who they will adopt. Babies are hard, they are a lot of work, and I am not convinced either Alastair or Thomas will be up to it. Look at Alastair. He is not exactly in a good place at the start of COI, and whenever fans ask CC if Alastair will make any friends she always reply that he won’t until he learns how to speak nicely to people and to be there for them when they need him. Honestly that is a thing he struggles with. He obviously loves Cordelia, but he totally pulled an  Queen Elsa on her where he shut the door and shut her out for roughly 7 years of their lives, leaving her as alone as Anna was. He claims to have loved Charles but the pair spend most of COG arguing because Alastair wants Charles to spend all his time with him and Charles is struggling to balance his promotion, his public reputation, and Alastair (Important I am not saying it was wrong for Alastair to be upset about Charles engagements or to break up with him. I am just saying it seems like Charles did try to see Alastair as much as he could, and Alastair trying to pin all his emotional needs on one person, who already had so much going on, was unfair). On Thomas side well lets just say he has a lot of mixed up and complicated feeling of his own he needs to work out before he will be able to be in a healthy relationship let alone raise a child.

  If Thomstair aren’t able to take care of Baby Carstairs I bet I know a long time married, long time Carstairs loving couple, who would be happy to take the little guy in and have enough resources, experience, and love to give him a great life. Hey in the future Tessa says she has kept watch over three families: the Herondales, the Carstairs, and the Blackthorns. The Herondales and the Blackthorns are her and Will’s grandchildren. If she were watching the Carstairs because they were once her friends wouldn’t she also watch out for the Fairchilds and Lightwoods?

Blackthorn Babies with Mundane and Shadowhunter mommies and daddies

  (Okay this is one will involve some hopping around and several references to the family tree, so stay with me people, stay with me.) We aleady know Jem made some changes to this line. Lucie is not 12, she is 16. Tatiana is probably not going to live another 15 years. Also the tree said that Jesse dies 59, yet he actually died at 17. But future wife Lucie wants to resurrect him... which is highly illegal and should she be successful she will probably face terrible repercussions. Jesse also might not be able to live as a shadowhunter after being brought back. So even if we don’t want it, for the sake of this theory lets assume that upon Jesse’s resurrection both he and Lucie are banished and become a mundane pianist and writer. Let’s assume they also get married and have children. In order for the TDA Blackthorns to be shadowhunters at least one of Jucie’s kids would have to become a shadowhunter and move to the shadow world. I feel like Luce and Jesse would be willing to let their kids go in that case. That was all Jesse wanted growing up and Lucie is Will’s daughter. The children would just need someone they could stay with.

  Now lets hop to the Lightwood family line. According to the tree Christopher and Grace get married (Grace is also listed as a Cartwright so was her adoption overturned and she rejoined her bio family?) and continue the Lightwood line down to TMI. Grace and Christopher are set up to bond  (over science) and many fans are willing to believe that they are an endgame ship. But fans are also doubting that they are the ancestors of the TMI lightwoods.  For one thing Christopher is heavily coded to be asexual; and Grace herself seems to have a very.... twisted and warped view of physical acts. So now lets say Grace is somehow saved from punishment over Jesse’s resurrection or because of her past trauma is given a lighter sentence. Lets say Gracetopher really do get married. if they got married they probably will apt out of having children; at least biological children.

   Christopher has a younger brother , Alexander Lightwood, who seems like a much more likely candidate to continue his family line. Alex has been noted to have those dark blue eyes that while once a Herondale trait later become a Lightwood trait. He shares a first name one of TMI’s most prominent characters, and that is just about the only way baby Alex could have relevance to the story given that he is way to young to help out in the war. If Alexander Lightwood the first is one who carried on the Lightwood line why are his descendants listed under his brother and sister in laws names?

   Well way back before the CC launched TLH I remember her posting a tweet that said Grace could become an ancestor of either the Herondale or the Blackthorn line. This upset a lot of people who thought that it meant that Grace may have a baby with either James or Jesse. (No, just NO!!!) But what if instead of Grace having a baby with Jesse, She and Christopher adopt one of Jesse and Lucie’s babies so that that baby could be raised as a shadowhunter? I could see Grace and Christopher doing do: they each love one of the respective parents and are set get to know the other. The only good thing about Tatiana adopting Grace was she got Jesse as a brother. Should she ever recover from having Tatiana as an adoptive mother I could see her becoming very critical of other adoptions and refusing to allow Jesse’s children to potentially end up like she did. I am in love with a head cannon I have that Christopher will become a science professor at the academy. If Lucie and Jesse have to leave the shadow world, and they have to give up their children then I want to imagine that child living in Malec’s future academy suit with Shadowhunter mommy and daddy Gracetopher while they secretly get gifts and send letters to their mundane mommy and daddy Juice. (It is the least CC can do for the pain reading about that potential exile would cause me.)

[kyoongaroo]

All Over Again — 01

summary: one of Baekhyun’s goals was to be CEO of his father’s company. But unless he was married, or at least, in a serious relationship, he wasn’t qualified to take on the role. The board meeting was coming soon, and he was desperately looking for a girlfriend to introduce to his family. That’s when he found you.

genre: romance, fluff, smut in later chapter.

a/n:  slow update sorry :,(

“You want me to do what now?”

Your roommate clung tighter onto your arms. “Please,” she begged, staring up at you with round, pleading eyes. “I really need your help.”

“Uh,” you hesitated. Fake-dating? You had no clue how that was done. But Jane was your best friend, what does it say about you if you don’t help a friend in need? You sighed. “Okay, but you need to talk me through it again.”

“So I’m on this app that put me in touch with this guy who’s looking for a temporary girlfriend. Babe, you won’t believe the amount he’s willing to pay me.” Her eyes lit up. You raised your brows, mentally guessing the numbers in your head. She held up her pointer and middle fingers. “Two thousand dollar for a meeting.”

Coming from a wealthy household yourself, money had never fazed you, even after you moved out and stopped living off your parents’. Now, you were running a bakery business that was going pretty well. Your friend however, needed this extra cash to get by. She had just recently lost a job and was currently hunting for a new one. The stress might’ve caused her to fall sick, which was why she couldn’t take on whatever this is she signed up for. Things would’ve been easier if she didn’t reject your offer to pay for this month’s rent in full, the two of you were sharing an apartment.

“What are the terms like?” You asked.

“Nothing complicated, you just have to escort him to events and pretend you’re his girlfriend.”

That seemed feasible, you thought. “As long as there’s no sex involved.” You said firmly. She may be your best friend and you cared for her like a family, but there’s no way in hell you’re going to prostitute yourself for her.

“Wait til’ you see this guy,” she grinned, her eyes twinkling. “I bet all my money you’ll wanna have some with him.”

“Money?” You huffed, rolling your eyes. “You have like what? two dollars?”

She grabbed a pillow and slammed it across your face, making you laugh as you tried to duck away. She grunted. “You’re mean.”

You grinned apologetically as you hugged her closer to you. “So, what time do i have to meet this guy?”

“Seven, I’ll let him know that you’ll be replacing me.” She said, reaching for her cellphone from the bedside drawer.

“What’s his name?” You asked.

“Bernard?”

“He’s a foreigner?”

She shook her head. “He’s a local, last name’s Byun,”

At six fifty five, you found yourself at a place not so unfamiliar to you. Your sister happened to stay in the apartment building where Bernard stayed. Your stomach roiled with uneasiness as you waited for the door to be answered. There were so many things to worry about. Meeting your potential fake-boyfriend, possibly being ted-bundied by him, bumping into your sister.

Your fingers clutched tightly onto the strap of your baguette bag. Jane didn’t mention anything about dress code, and when you went back to her room to ask, she had already fallen asleep. At last, you settled with a white tube top beneath a Balmain tweed jacket and a fitting pair of jeans. It’s nothing formal, nor casual.

You glanced around cautiously when you heard soft chatters coming from afar. If your sister found out what you were up to and told your parents about it, they’d probably disown you. You wouldn’t be surprised if they did, considering how your relationship with them was already strained.

The beep from the digital lock caused you to flinch. You shifted your gaze to look ahead, breathing deeply as your lips stretched into a smile. The door opened. You were so short, the first thing you saw at your eye level was the Versace logo printed on the stranger’s shirt. Craning your neck, you met the strangers eyes.

Except.

Your eyes doubled in size at the realization. You stared at the tall man as he stared back at you, both trying to figure out if your mind were playing tricks. Until he opened his mouth and said, “You?!”

You swallowed. “C-Chanyeol?”

You had no time to move away. The guy was so quick, in a second you were in his arms, your legs floating off the ground as he hugged you so tightly that your organs nearly crushed. “It’s been so long! Where the hell have you been?”

“Are-are you Bernard?” you stammered.

Chanyeol finally let go of you, and your legs touched to the ground. God, did he grow taller?

“He's waiting for you inside,” he said, his lips twitching.

You narrowed your gaze, noticing the mischief in his eyes and the way he held back a smile. In the past, that look meant no good to you. You had a feeling you’re in for trouble.

“Oh, Bernard will be so damn pleased to see you,” he muttered to himself as he stepped aside to let you in.

You were filled with nervousness when you walked through the door. Your heels clicked over the gleaming travertine tiles as you followed behind him. Your gaze drifted over everything. Unlike your sister’s, the owner had completely remodelled his flat. Now it was looking more like a loft with the open space and the brick wall. The space was so enormous, you felt dwarfed being in here. Finally halting at what seemed like a sitting area, your eyes zeroed in on a man’s back as he stood facing a huge window.

“Look who’s here, Bae—“

The man raised a hand to shut Chanyeol up. He was on his phone, his deep voice resounding in this spacious room. Your gaze dipped down his body and back up again, thinking this man had a very nice build. He was dressed in a black turtleneck tucked in a pair of dark jeans. Despite standing at a distance from you, you knew he was at least a head taller than you. You tried to make up how he looked like through the reflection on the glass, only to give up and be completely enthralled by the breathtaking view of the skyline.

“Is she here?”

Your eyes moved over to Bernard as the man himself turned on his feet. Pocketing his phone, his eyes landed on you and yours on his.

Your heart was suddenly in your throat and you froze. In that second you wished you had the magic to make yourself disappear. Because Bernard wasn’t Bernard. Bernard was Baekhyun, and Baekhyun was your ex-boyfriend.

What the hell did you get yourself into?

The three of you were seated on the leather couch after a short, awkward catch up. For the next few minutes, you listened as Baekhyun explained his situation to you. Long story short, his father was stepping down as the CEO of Byun Holdings, and he was making Baekhyun and his stepbrother compete for the position. Since Mr Byun was a family man, he thought it was important for his children to be committed in his personal life too. Because, despite owning one of the biggest companies in the country, his father believed there was more to life than work. Which means, unless Baekhyun was in a serious relationship/married, he wasn’t qualified to take on the role. The board meeting would be held next month, that’s why Baekhyun was desperately looking for a girlfriend to introduce to his family. As for Bernard, it was an alias since he didn’t want his identity to be revealed.

“He’s gonna be here anytime soon,” Baekhyun said, startling you with the sudden news.

“Wait what? Who’s gonna be here?” you glanced between the two, confused.

“My brother,” Baekhyun said.

“Jaehyun?” You looked at him to confirm.

When he nodded, you paled. Jaehyun was his stepbrother, and you remembered that the two despised each other. Which only means, he would be more skeptical of you than a normal person would be.

The doorbell rang, effectively stopping your train of thoughts. The three of you turned your head towards the door.

“That must be him,” Chanyeol said.

You glanced anxiously between the two. “What do I do?”

“You need to be more affectionate with each other in order to sell this.” Chanyeol advised, his eyes moving from you to Baekhyun, then back at you again. “Get up,” he ordered as he rose to his feet. You confusedly obeyed him, letting him grab your wrist as he guided you to Baekhyun’s side. “Sit here,” he said, surprising you when he pushed you down by your shoulders.

You let out a gasp when your ass landed on Baekhyun’s lap. His hands caught your waist to keep you still. Your eyes widened at Baekhyun before you glared at the other male. “What is this for?”

“Stop being so awkward around each other or no one’s gonna believe you’re a couple,” He said just as the bell rang for the second time. “I’ll get that. Stay where you are.” He gave you a warning look before walking away from the couch.

You turned your attention to Baekhyun who was already staring at you. “This is so not awkward,” You mumbled to yourself.

Baekhyun smiled softly. “Relax, everything will be fine.”

“Is it necessary to cuddle in front of your brother?” You asked, incredulous.

“It’s just for a show,” he said.

You tsked in annoyance “Why did I even agree to this?”

As he grinned, you heard a male’s voice calling out to him. Turning your head, you saw a man approaching you both. There’s an air of superiority in the way he walked. You swept your gaze over his physique and gulped. You’d never seen a creature like him, so big and buff. He looked like he could crush you like a bug in between his two palms.

“You need to relax, sweetheart,” Baekhyun whispered into your ears, his hand caressing your back.

Inhaling deeply, you slid off his lap and rose to your feet. “Hello,” you greeted, waving your hand at his brother.

Awkward...

The man sized you up before glancing at Baekhyun. “Who’s this?”

You felt a hand sliding around your back and rested on your hips before the words “My girlfriend,” were uttered.

“Since when?” Jaehyun asked, studying you with skeptious eyes.

“Since when do you care?” Baekhyun said.

“Of course I care, you’re my beloved brother,” he said it with a little to no sincerity at all. You were startled when the big guy leaned forward, pinning you with his stare. “How did you meet my brother?”

“W-we’re high school friends,” you answered, a tremble in your voice. 

”Right,” He scoffed. “You’ve known him for so long and I’ve only met you today?”

The question caught you off-guard. You paled, your lips parting and unparting like a confused fish as you tried to come up with a believable answer.

“We’ve only started seeing each other recently,” Baekhyun chimed in to help.

“Recently when?” He looked at Baekhyun.

“What’s with the inquisitions?” Baekhyun asked, his tone biting.

“Chill brother,” Jaehyun said, raising both hands up in fake surrender. “I’m so happy for you,”

Oh, he is so not happy for him...

“You didn’t come all the way here to feed me that bullshit, so why don’t you tell me why you’re really here Jaehyun?”

“Ah,” Jaehyun said, plopping himself down on the couch and spreading his arms over the headrest. He glanced up at Baekhyun. “You rejected the proposal from Sodam Group. Why?”

“I’m not putting millions on a company that nearly goes bankrupt.” Baekhyun said.

Jaehyun’s jaw clenched. “I’m helping out a friend,”

“That’s not how you do business,”

“You’re fucking heartless,” he spat.

You watched from the side as the two engaged in a heated staring contest. The silence was so stiff, you didn’t dare to even move.

“Is there anything else you need?” Baekhyun said, his voice tight with annoyance.

“We’ll discuss this again at the office,” He stood up and threw you a disdainful look. “Do you have a job?”

He said it with such distaste, given different circumstances, you would’ve definitely flipped him off.

Your lips stretched up in a tight smile. “Yes. I run a bakery business,”

“What’s the name of your shop?

“A piece of cake,”

“Our sister works there too, you know?”

Baekhyun has a sister?!

“Y-yeah I know,” You tried to keep your expression as neutral as possible despite the shock. You had no idea his sister worked there, you didn’t even know he had a sister.

Jaehyun moved his gaze to Baekhyun, a grin stretching across his lips. “Funny because Baekhyun had never mentioned that his girlfriend owns the shop.”

“I didn’t see you talking about your personal life either,” Baekhyun said.

He sneered. “I find it very convenient of you to show up with a girl just a month before the board meeting.”

You stiffened. Oh God. Did he find out already? “I wasn’t ready,” you blurted out, earning the attention from the three males around you. You smiled, albeit nervously. “Baekhyun wanted to share the news long ago, but I told him I wasn’t ready.”

“Oh really?” he said, stepping forward to drop his head to look at you. “Why do you look so nervous, sweetie?”

“Jaehyun,” Baekhyun warned, stepping in between you and his brother. ”get the hell out of here.”

You glanced at Chanyeol who had his eyes shut tightly, probably in frustration. As soon as the door closed and Jaehyun was out of sight, Baekhyun let go of his arms around your waist. “That fucker,” he spat under his breath, running a hand through his hair.

You can feel the fury emanating off his body. It was unnerving, being in a room with two very very angry men.

Chanyeol, who had been silent up until that point finally groaned in frustration. “What do we do now? Because I can tell you that asshole is definitely not buying it.”

“It doesn’t matter what he thinks. It’s my parents we need to convince.” Baekhyun said.

“When are you meeting them?”

“This Sunday,”

“Alright, you have a few days to prepare,” Chanyeol said. “First of all, you two need to practice getting comfortable around each other, and–“ he turned to glare at you. “This isn’t gonna work if you keep acting like a fucking robot around him.”

“Chanyeol, watch it,” Baekhyun warned.

The taller man sighed, taking a moment to cool down before he spoke up again. “I’m sorry. It’s just...our jobs will be at risk if Jaehyun ever gets appointed.”

“What would happen?”

“Knowing Jaehyun, he’d probably demote us,” Chanyeol said.

You paled at the thought of their careers lying in the palm of your hands.

Definitely not a pressure.

“Don’t stress about it, sweetheart,” Baekhyun assured, smiling at you as he patted your back. You watched as he pushed his sleeve up to glance at his wrist watch, then he looked at you. “Do you drive here?”

You shook your head. “I can get a cab home.”

“I’ll send you home,”

The ride with Baekhyun was filled with nothing but silence. You stared out of the window the whole time, distracting yourself with the view of the city. A few men had taken you out for a drive before, but none of them made you nervous like Baekhyun did. Maybe it was due to the fact that he was your ex and you couldn’t get over the suprise of meeting him. Or the undeniable fact that he looked so sexy while driving and you were so uncontrollably turned on by it.

“My sister talks about you all the time,”

Too absorbed in your own thoughts, you were startled by the sound of Baekhyun’s voice. You took a breath before glancing at him. ”I didn’t know you have a sister,”

“She’s a cousin actually. My dad took her in when my uncle died.”

“What’s her name?”

“Dami,”

“Short hair, hazel eyes, a little shy?” you guessed.

He nodded. “That sounds like her,”

You couldn’t believe you had been working so close with his sister and you had no single clue. “She is one of my best bakers.” you said with a smile.

Baekhyun glanced at you again, his smile soft and proud. “She likes you a lot, you know? Talked about you all the time, but never once mentioned your name. She just refers to you as her beautiful boss.”

You snorted softly, not knowing how to respond to that. You were turning your head away when Baekhyun started talking again.

“She’s right,”

You looked back at him, knit forming in between your brows. “Right about what?”

“Her boss is very beautiful, indeed,” he said, softly staring at you.

Heat rises on your cheek and you quiet down. You didn’t know what to say. You were never good at accepting compliments.

Baekhyun chuckled at the look on your face. “Your reaction to compliments is still so adorable.”

Thankfully, the lights turned green and he was forced to look ahead. Another silence stretched, but it didn’t last long because he started speaking again. “How’s your business going?”

“It’s going pretty okay,” you said. “I’m looking to open a new branch in Myeongdong.”

“Your parents must be so proud of you,” he praised.

It was the opposite actually, but you weren’t ready to share about it. Instead, you changed the subject and said, “You did the right thing not investing in Sodam Group.”

“Why do you say so?”

“That company has been stealing my cake designs for years.”

“Can’t you sue them for copyright infringement?”

You shook your head. “It’s pointless. They’re an established company.”

Baekhyun gave a mild nod of understanding. For the next few seconds, he seemed to be in deep thoughts.

“Have you ever thought of expanding your business?” He finally asked.

All the damn time. “I’m working on it.” You said.

“Then I have a deal for you,”

“What deal?”

“An investment offer,”

You gaped in shock. Byun Holdings was one of the biggest holding companies in the country. They were well-known for their investment in global food companies. Having them as your first investor would increase your brand value by tenfold.

“Okay…what do I have to do?”

“Just do a good job of being my fake girlfriend. If you manage to win parent’s heart, it’ll increase my chance of winning this thing.”

“How long is this arrangement going to last?”

“Indefinitely,” he said, and you began to hesitate. He studied you. “I’ll compensate you for your time, don’t worry.”

“It’s not about the money,”

His brows arched. “Are you seeing anyone right now?”

“No,”

“So?”

“Given our history,” you bit your lower lip, doubting. “Do you think it’s a good idea to spend so much time around each other?”

“Don’t worry about it,” he said casually. “We’re both adults, and I’m sure we are capable of putting the personal aside.”

Honestly, it bothered you to see him acting as if nothing happened between you two. Did he forget that you were his ex-girlfriend? or was it not significant enough for him to care? All along, you’ve always wondered if he hurt as much as you did after the break up. You couldn’t ask, though. He would get the wrong idea, or worst, assume that you were still hung up on him.

“Think of it as a mutually beneficial relationship.” He added.

You were still doubtful, but you knew it would be stupid to deny this once in a lifetime opportunity. You had always dreamed of expanding A piece of Cake.

“Okay,” you agreed. “I’m in,”

“We have a deal then,” he said.

As soon as that, his car drove into the basement of your apartment. “That way,” you pointed to the left side towards your block.

“Are you staying alone?” He asked when the car halted at the entrance.

“No, I’m sharing a unit with my friend.” then you added, “The girl who’s supposed to be your fake girlfriend? She’s my housemate.”

He smiled. “I’m glad it turned out to be you,”

The words made your heart skip, but you didn’t know how to respond to that. “Good night, Baekhyun.” You were turning away to leave when grabbed your wrist, stopping you. You glanced back at him.

“Are you free tomorrow night?” He asked.

“I’m done at around eight,” you said. “Do you need me?”

He hummed. “We should practice being a couple before meeting my parents,”

“Huh? What do you mean practice?”

He moved his hand from the steering wheel to your direction. Your breath hitched the moment he touched your skin. His fingers brushed over your hair, curling around the side of your face. “We should get used to being intimate with each other,” he said, his thumb carressing the high of your. “You can’t freeze up like this everytime I touch you, or no one's gonna believe that you’re my girlfriend.”

“T-touch me?”

He hummed and the corner of his lips tilted up, “I might even kiss you...”

“No way,” your response was immediate. “No way I’m gonna let you kiss me,”

Baekhyun grinned harder, “Why? You afraid I’m gonna find out that you’re a bad kisser?”

“You know I’m not!” You blushed even deeper now.

“I know, sweetheart,” He murmured, staring intently at your lips. Your breathing stopped when he swiped his thumb over your lower lip. Then he lifted his gaze and stared into your eyes. “I used to kiss you a lot,”

You swallowed hard, not knowing what to say.

Baekhyun sensed your nervousness and moved his hand off your face, but, his eyes were still clinging onto you. “I’ll pick you up tomorrow night. Goodnight, sweetheart.”

a/n: hiiiiii :D i hope it’s not too terrible!!!  I’d love to hear your feedback if you enjoyed what you read :,) thank youuu...

[yoongsicles]

warning: almost cheating

wc: 1,673

genre: lil' fluff, angst

Track 2: One Last Time (Ten Lee)

Sometimes you still question yourself if choosing your modeling career was the right choice or even leaving your family just so you can go to Paris.

There's still a lot going on inside your mind to this day. Ever since you've been chosen to become one of the models in your agency to go to France, you have never been so happy in your life. It was a dream come true for you but being there made you realize how incomplete you are.

Sometimes you still question yourself if choosing your career over him was the right choice.

Him. Ten Lee.

You two were inseparable ever since elementary. He was there in your ups and downs, you were there when his parents got divorced. You were his first everything and he was yours.

For him, you were the love of his life, his everything. But that was before you broke his heart.

You are officially invited to Ten and Lisa's wedding.

You've read this countless times but it still hasn't sunk in. Lisa was your high school best friend. You knew from the beginning how he feels about Ten but since you were still his girlfriend back then, Lisa didn't have a choice but to accept the fact that you're his.

And now. They're about to get married.

"It's good to have you back here" your sister, Yeri held your hand while she's driving. She just picked you up from the airport.

You're still looking at the invitation when Yeri noticed you.

"You don't have to go, you know" she sighed still focused on the road. "I can't miss Lisa's big day," you said putting the invitation inside your purse.

"Don't you think it's kind of insensitive for her to send you an invitation?" she asked and added "Three years ago when she told you that she's dating Ten, that was foul. I mean you're her best friend and dating your ex is just" she sighed again.

"I have no control over their feelings, Yeri. All I have to do right now is to support them" you tried showing her a smile but failed.

It was exactly six years ago when you chose your career over Ten.

When you got to Paris, you still tried continuing your relationship with him but you weren't happy anymore. Long-distance doesn't work for you but for him everything was possible.

Until he was the only one left trying. Ten knows that you're about to give up but you already did.

Ten supported your career still even though in return, he'll lose you.

When Lisa told you that he was dating Ten two years after you broke up, that made you realize that breaking his heart was a mistake.

And now you're too late.

"We're here" you got back to your senses when the car stopped. Looking at your house, you can't express how happy you are now that you're finally home.

Two days after returning to Seoul, you and Yeri went to Lisa's bridal shower.

"Now you're nervous" Yeri teased you, "I told you this is not a good idea. What will happen to you at the actual wedding? Passed out?"

"I'm fine" you smiled at her. You saw Lisa entertaining her guests and took her a minute to saw you too.

"Oh my God, you're here!" she ran towards you giving you a hug "Hey," you said still hugging her "Six years, y/n. Six freaking years and the only thing that can get you back here is my wedding" Lisa squealed holding both of your hands.

"Well, I can't miss this," you tell her smiling. Yeri scoffed beside you giving Lisa a fake smile.

The night went well. You saw your high school batchmates, got to drink your favorite wine, and you also got to bond with your sister.

Lisa's bridal shower was about to end when you saw Ten entering the venue. You felt like everything stopped. Seeing him again after six years was overwhelming that you can't even think properly.

He went to greet Lisa and the other guests. "You're not supposed to be here! This is an all-girls party" you heard Lisa shooing Ten away but he just held Lisa's hand tighter "I'm here to pick you up. It's getting late" Ten replied.

You were waiting for him to notice you until he did.

"You never told me that Ten got way hotter now," you told Yeri still looking at Ten "Uhm because he's already your ex?" she answered.

"Y/n! Come!" Lisa called you but your feet were glued on the floor so Lisa decided to bring Ten and walked towards you.

Both of you and Ten had an awkward greeting but he made sure he's making you feel comfortable by having a proper conversation with you.

"I'm glad that you'd get to attend," he said. You don't know how to answer that so you just gave him a smile. Ten has known you enough that he can see the pain in your eyes.

He tried not to think about it but seeing you so beautiful tonight can't deny the fact that he missed you too. After all, you were his best friend.

On the way home, you don't even know if it's the alcohol that's making you sad or seeing Ten earlier. You still can't move on from how good he looked.

You still love him. You still do and it sucks.

The night before the wedding, you've decided to visit Ten in his apartment. You knew Lisa's not gonna be there because she's not allowed to be with his groom until the wedding.

Different emotions filling you up right now as you knocked on his door. Drinking too much will make a person too vulnerable and make you do something you'll regret the next day.

And here you are at his doorsteps.

"Y/n?" Ten was clearly surprised because the last thing he wants was a visitor this late at night.

"Can I come in?" Ten was hesitant but he was worried that something's up so he decided to let you in. Walking past him, he smelled the alcohol all over you.

"Are you-" before he even gets to finish his question, you cut him off by saying "I still love you" which shocked him. He was confused, so confused that he became mad at you.

"Why now?" he asked "I know I don't deserve you anymore but please hear me out for the last time" you started crying in front of him.

"I'm sorry it took too long for me to realize the mistake I've done. I swear I tried coming back but Lisa was already there"

"Yes! She was there and is still there. She never gave up on me, y/n. Unlike you who made it seem so easy"

You were sobbing and Ten was just looking at you.

"I'm so sorry" you hugged him and he was doing nothing. Just letting you hug him. Ten missed you so much but this isn't right at all.

When you let go of him, you looked him straight in his eyes still crying "I missed you" you whispered. This isn't supposed to happen, you both thought but your emotions are fighting back.

Both of you know that the love is still there but for Ten, it's the love for his best friend and not for the person who broke him before.

On the other hand, all you wanted to do was kiss him again but before you could even do it, you passed out in his arms.

Waking up to familiar yet unfamiliar surroundings, you see yourself wearing a man's shirt. Realizing where you are, the events from last night flashed in your head.

You facepalmed. You swear in your life that you'll never gonna drink again.

You get up immediately to get your things. You saw Ten sleeping on his couch. I can't wake him, you tell yourself.

You just felt horrible that you're in his apartment, six hours before his wedding but thankful as well because nothing regretful happened last night. Yes, saying those words last night wasn't regretful at all for you because now you have the chance to fully move on.

Ten woke up to the sound of his alarm. Turning it off, he got up to see if you're still in his room but you already left. He sighed remembering what happened last night.

He noticed his and Lisa's wedding invitation on his table alongside a letter.

It was from you.

Dearest Ten,

I'm sorry I wasn't able to bid goodbye properly but what I'm sorry the most is the pain I've caused you. You didn't deserve it at all. The consequences I got when I lost you were enough for me to let you go and what happened last night was a part of it. Even though it wasn't my plan to get drunk and barge in like that, I'm still thankful that all is out now. I'm finally free from the burden inside me. I have decided to go back to Paris and never come back again. It's the least I can do for both of you and that means I can't attend your wedding as well. I'm just scared that everything will come back again if I see you getting married so this is the best solution. Yeri was right, I shouldn't have come in the first place but I think that was because I wanted to see you for the last time again. You were my best friend and you still are but unfortunately, everything has its ending and I'm afraid this is ours. Our history will always have a special place in my heart and I thank you so much for being a part of it. Please make a much better history with Lisa. You deserve each other and I'm glad she's the person you're gonna spend your forever with. Be happy always :)

Thank you for bringing me back home. I will always love you, Ten.

Y/n

••••••••••

The Breakup Playlist

Masterlist

[thiswasinevitableid]

87. you’re a P.I. my parents hired to investigate my fiancee and you completely ruined my engagement party with the dirt you found but I want to know all the details right now

Sternclay, sfw or nsfw, please!

Here you go! I went NSFW and set it in the same universe as this Indruck fill. The orc designs are once again inspired by @kriskukko, whose art everyone should check out

The air is grey and chilly, and his best coat is still a bit too plain for this affair, but Barclay can’t help but glow. His husband to be is using this engagement party to invite him into parts of society he’s only glimpsed from behind kitchen counters or through windows on his way home in the early hours of the morning.

He didn’t even have to cook the table of delicacies and warm punches, which is usually his entry fee into any social space not hosted by Mama or his other friends back at Amnesty Lodge.

“Are you alright my dear?” William touches his shoulder. He’s the height of fashion from the new stud in his nose to the cut of his suit. Barclay looks at their linked hands, marveling at how his tattoos and calluses contrast with the smooth, unmarked green of Williams' skin. It’s wonderful to know he can be part of such an unlikely match.

“I’m fine. I just wish Mama and them could be here too.”

“Barclay, I know you care for them, but they agreed with me that this is not a party they’d feel comfortable attending.”

If memory serves, Mama’s word choice was “enjoy” not “comfortable” but he’s distracted from this detail by the orc currently in a hushed conversation with William’s parents. His accent is American, the same as Barclay’s. He knows William has no friends or family on the other side of the Atlantic, and he’s too well-dressed to be an attendant. When William’s parents fervently shake their heads, the newcomer turns and strides across the floor, right to the happy couple.

“Mr. Cobb” he offers Barclay a slight bow, shows no deference to William, “My name is Joseph Stern. I’m a private detective hired by your fiance’s family. They hoped I would find reason for him not to marry you. I have.”

“I, I don’t understand. I haven’t done anything wrong.”

“No, you haven’t. The reason I suggest calling off the wedding is that he” Stern indicates William, “is not the least bit interested in you. He chose you because he knew his parents would disapprove of the match, which would in turn make it easier for him to call off the engagement two months from now and, three months after that, propose to his lifelong friend, Albert Rothby.”

Gasps and whispers fill the room. Barclay looks to William for reassurance but can’t find any; William’s too busy trading alarmed glances with Albert.

Stern continues, “His parents would be all too happy to accept the orc they once rejected for being from a slightly less well-off family after the shock and scandal of him almost marrying a nobody cook.”

“Hey!”

“His words, not mine.” The detective turns to the hosts, “You don’t need to pay me for my time, since I didn’t give you what you wanted. Good afternoon.”

A thoroughly baffled servant hands him his coat and hat as he exits, the room overflowing with chaotic accusations behind him. William doesn’t say two words to Barclay, choosing instead to shout at his parents. Barclay pulls off his silver engagement band, shoves it into his now ex-fiance’s hand, and storms out of the room.

He intends to make straight for the train station, hide his tears and humiliation until he’s safe under Amnesty’s worn shingles. But when he spies Stern on the corner handing coins to an errand boy, his foolish hope gets the better of him.

“How do you know?”

“Excuse me?”

“How do you know that’s really what William planned?”

Stern hails a cab, motions for Barclay to join him inside it. When they’re seated, he reaches into his coat and removes a bound stack of letters.

“Albert’s arrogant and sloppy; all it took was five pounds to get one of the maids to fish these out of his wastebasket.” He passes the notes to Barclay.

Each one he skims is like slicing his finger with a meat cleaver. Not a single piece of his personality or appearance remains unmocked by the time he’s done.

“I was just a game to him.” He stares at William’s signature, the same one that dots a pile of letters he’ll burn when he gets home. When he looks up, Stern’s face is full of sympathy.

“I considered not saying anything. That even if the engagement ended, you might be able to tell yourself it was a true love that wasn’t meant to be. But the longer I trailed you...I saw that you deserved better than being a pawn in someone else's trivial chess game. I offered his parent’s the chance for me to have the conversation in private; they doubled down on their insistence that you must be secretly awful to have lured their dear son to you. Ruining their party seemed fair.”

“I guess.” Barclay’s lip trembles. What was it William wrote? That he was as tender and devoted as a lapdog and twice as fun to kick around?

Stern produces a monogrammed handkerchief from his pocket, holds it out to him, “I’m sorry. I know ignorance is bliss but, um, wasting your heart on someone like him strikes me as hellish.”

Barclay wipes his eyes, but the tears insist on flowing, “No you’re, you’re right, it just, I, I really thought he loved me.” He lets out a bitter laugh, “I really am more brawn than brain, just like he said.”

“No, you’re not.” The cab slows, and Joseph’s blue eyes pin the pieces of his crumbling heart together, “and even if you were every single thing he said you were in those letters, that wouldn’t justify his treatment of you. You’re a good man, Barclay” he smiles for the first time, “someone will treat you how you deserve one of these days.”

The driver announces they’ve arrived at Barclays hotel. He glances at Stern, surprised.

He opens the door for Barclay with a wink, “detective.”

-------------------------------------------------------------

Fall arrived on the first of September, meaning the business at Amnesty dwindles right along with leaves. They won’t see another flood of visitors until the winter holidays, when everyone travels up and down the country to meet with family. Barclay fills his days with work and tries not to think about how happy he was a year ago.

Dani has a cold, so he’s working the lobby counter until it’s time for him to start dinner. A chill and burst of nickel-tinted light announce a guest. When the orc approaches him, he drops his pen.

“Hello, Barclay. It’s nice to see you under happier circumstances.” Stern removes his hat, runs his fingers through his black hair, “would it be possible to rent a room here indefinitely? I’m on a case and I have no idea how long it’ll take.”

“Yeah, of course.” He pulls out the register to check which rooms are open, which would be easier if his eyes didn’t insist on flicking back to the orc in front of him. He’d noticed Stern was handsome before, in the same way he noticed the sky is blue or a piece of fruit was ripe. Now it’s all he sees; the cut of his clothes suggesting a trim, capable figure beneath, his clean shaveness showing off the angles of his jaw and cheeks. His tusks are the same size and not chipped like Barclays own. The cook wants Stern to sink them into his skin and not let up until he sobs for a kiss instead.

“Uh, here” he retrieves a key, “I can put you in number twelve. It’s upstairs, last door if you take a left.

“Great!” Stern takes the key, lifts his two bags, “thank you for accommodating me.” His gaze slows as it moves up to Barclays face, “I think I’m going to enjoy my stay.”

---------------------------------

Joseph hates the days where he has to wait for telegrams before proceeding with his investigation. It makes him feel like a dog gnawing its tail out of boredom. At least, it used to. Now that he’s at Amnesty, he’s never bored. It’s hard to be when the best looking orc he’s ever seen likes to talk with him while cleaning tables or making breakfast.

William Ashby is a fool. Joseph knew this when he watched him forgo a kind, interesting orc who was built like a god and had eminently kissable lips for the sake of some uninteresting upper class nobody. But now that he’s eating Barclays’ cooking every day, the opinion is twice as strong. No one should be able to make potatoes a divine experience, but his friend manages.

“No running around stuffy offices or abandoned houses today?” Barclay sits down across from him.

“Not until I get a telegram from that solicitor in London. Black or white?”

“White. Well, that’s good news for me, I get a chance to beat you.” He’s smiling, the firelight dancing in his eyes and off the copper in his beard. Joseph wishes he could mimic the light's path with his hands.

Instead, he grins as he lays out the chess pieces, “In your dreams.”

An hour and a half later, Barclay whoops, “checkmate” and Joseph falls even more in love.

-----------------------------------

“Barclay? Since it’s not raining I thought you might like to…” Joseph falls silent at the sight of Barclay sitting on his bed, facing the window with a defeated set to his shoulders.

“Sure, as long as we’re back before dark.” He shrugs and doesn’t so much as look over his shoulder.

“What’s wrong?” Joseph settles beside him, notices the handkerchief with his initials on it clutched between his hands. The tears on it are fresh.

“Nothing. Just, uh, just….this is the anniversary of when he proposed. Of when I thought someone loved me that way, of when I thought that, that...fuck, it’s gonna sound so silly.”

“You don’t have to say it but I, um, I hope you know I won’t judge you for whatever it is.”

Barclay twists the fabric, “I love my life here at Amnesty. I love Mama, all my friends, I love being a cook. But I’ve never been wealthy; Mama and I faced lots of hard times before coming here, especially when my folks died and she took me in. The Lodge does well but there’s always the fear that one day it won’t. I can be happy without fancy food or nice clothes or nights out but, uh,” he clears his throat, “that doesn’t mean I didn’t really like having them. I don’t miss him so much as I miss this feeling of being able to want without worry. Of, of thinking I’d get to do that forever.”

He lists to the side, rests his head on Joseph’s shoulder. He’s both taller and broader than Joseph, which adds to his charms, but right now the detective wishes he was smaller so he could gather him in his arms and protect him from the disappointing world. Give him what he’s missing.

An idea buzzes to the front of his mind. He rubs Barclays shoulder soothingly, “You have to go into London for some orders, right?”

“Uh huh.”

“I have to go in to deal with this case and check to make sure nothing urgent is waiting at my office. Do you want to go together?”

Barclay looks up at him, brown eyes glittering like precious metal, “I’d love to.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Barclay knows Joseph has wealthy clients; he’s starting to suspect he has even more of them than he lets on. They’re in London for two days, and every moment not spent sleeping or working is filled by Joseph taking Barclay somewhere. The meals are by far his favorite, but Joseph bought them tickets to the opera their second night. When Barclay worried he wouldn’t be well dressed enough, Joseph decided they could both do with new clothes and bought everything without blinking at the bill.

Now, Barclay is in a private box, belly full from their stop at Simpson’s and Joseph’s shoulder resting against his own. The music is beautiful, the staging intriguing, but he’s struggling to keep his eyes open, too warm and comfortable from the company and the darkness.

The port they had after dinner probably isn’t helping.

He rests his head back, let’s his eyes flutter closed. After a moment Joseph laughs softly and whispers, “A bit too full from dinner?”

“Mmmhmmm.”

“That’s okay. The whole point of tonight is for you to enjoy yourself. If that means happily lazing like a dog by a fire, that’s what you should do.”

Barclay tenses for a second, then relaxes. It’s not like when William kept referring to him as a dog; in Joseph’s voice it’s fond, like a master who knows he indulges his hound but doesn’t care.

“That’s me. Just a spoiled pet.” He murmurs.

Short claws trace across his upper thigh, “As it should be.”

His eyes flutter open; Joseph watches him in the dark, expression attentive and possessive. His fingers don’t move even a centimeter until Barclay nods. Then they finish curving over his thigh to stroke his cock through his pants.

No one can see them, but even so his eyes dart side to side before shutting once more.

“Good boy” Joseph sighs, “sweet boy.”

Barclay nods, squirms as the touches stay teasing.

“Don’t rush. We have a whole other act to go. Just keep quiet; you’re a big, sweet beast, I’d hate to have to” he presses his palm down, “discipline you.”

He bites his tongue to keep from groaning; when they’re back at the lodge, he’s going to misbehave so much.

Joseph keeps up his steady, calculated teasing, Barclay never moving past half-hard. He falls into an almost sleep-like state, feeling weightless and far away from himself yet completely safe in Joseph’s care.

Then swift fingers undo his trousers and a handkerchief wraps around his cock. He throws a palm over his mouth as Joseph jerks his hand up and down.

“It’s almost over.” The detective murmurs, chuckles when Barclay crumples to hide his face in his neck, “that’s it, be a good boy and---oh, oh good lord.” He stifles a sigh in Barclays hair while Barclay cums into the cloth, saturating it embarrassingly fast. William once compared him, unfavorably, to a centaur in that regard. Joseph simply kisses his forehead and tidies him up. By the time they exit, the only sign of their dalliance is Barclays wobbly legs.

He fully intends to return the favor, but sex-drunkeness and general exhaustion drag him to sleep before Joseph is even in bed.

Their morning is a brisk packing up of things followed by a trip to the train station. Once they’re in their cabin, Joseph looks over the notes he made during his research.

“I just can’t shake the feeling Mr. Newton is in danger.”

“Giant cursed hound will do that.”

“I’m not so sure that’s it. I’m not ruling out the supernatural, but there are elements of this that feel distinctly orcish and very much alive in their threat. I’m glad he brought that friend of his with him; were he in Beacon House alone, he could be in serious trouble.” He closes his small notebook.

“I still can’t tell if he’s more than a friend.”

“They might not know. The few times I’ve run into Mr. Newton or Mr.Cold, they seem to be in stalemate, neither willing to make a move.”

“Good thing you don’t have that problem.” Barclay winks, then realizes he might be reading the other orc wrong, “I, uh, I mean, not that last night has to mean anything.”

Joseph unbuttons his coat, “I, um, I hoped it might.”

“Thankfuck.” Barclay slumps back, “me too.”

There’s a click of the lock, then Joseph stands and begins undoing his pants, “speaking of which, it seems to me a good boy would reward me for last night.”

“Yes, oh fuck yes.” He scrambles to get his cock out, stroking it frantically as Joseph rolls up his sleeves.

“You’re so eager to please, it makes me want to give you everything you ask for.”

“Please?”

Joseph, now bare from the waist down, bends to kiss him, “Please what?”

“Please let me fuck you, let me mppph!” His moan slips straight down Joseph’s throat as he sinks onto Barclays cock.

“Ohhhhhyes, ohmylord” the tips of his ears twitch as he rocks his hips, “you feel so good”

“Y-you’re one to talk, fuck, Joseph can I touch you?”

“Anywhere you waAAnt” he tips his head back, whisper threatening to break as Barclay drops a thumb down to rub his cock. He sets his hands on Barclay’s shoulders, “we, we don’t have much time, and I do need to review more of the case before we arrive, so be a good boy and let me ride you hard and fast?”

“Yes, yesfuck, ohyeah” A laugh catches on his tongue as Joseph, his dignified, debonair detective, sets to bouncing up and down on his cock with the kind of abandon he only witnessed when he used to serve drinks in a brothel.

Joseph grins, kisses him messily as their grunts meld with the rumble of the train. Barclay glides his free hand around to grope and paw his ass, savoring how it tightens with the effort of riding, of taking Barclay again and again. Curious, he gives it a light slap, wishing he could see a little pink bloom on the green there.

“Careful, sweet boy; if anyone’s ass is getting bruised it’s yours.”

“Tonight?” He smiles hopefully at Joseph’s flushed face.

“Yes, Barclay tonight. Tonight I’ll, ohlord, strip you down, let you rut on the bed like the needy beast you are while I turn your ass tender and red before fucking it, oh, ohshit, Barclay.” He smashes their lips together as he cums, Barclay whining with pleasure at the fact that he got him there. The detective doesn’t break the kiss as he pulls off, simply uses his strong legs to keep straddling him as he jerks Barclay off with one hand and rucks his own shirt up with the other. Barclay moans helplessly as he cums in large, white droplets all up his stomach and chest.

“You’re wonderful.” Joseph kisses his cheek.

“So are you.” Barclay holds him close, giggles adoringly when Joseph starts concocting theories while half-naked and cuddled in his lap. By the time they reach home, there’s no sign of their dalliance.

Except for their linked hands and matching smiles.

[jaydicksummerexchange]

JAYDICK EXCHANGE: SEPTEMBER 3

[ ❤ Works posted so far! ❤ ]

SECOND TO LAST DAY OF THE JAYDICK EXCHANGE!

Why the second to last instead of the last? That’s because we’ve reached 114 Exchange works for 2020! The more treats get added, the more we time we add to our juicy cabooses and keep the exchange train rolling. Until Saturday that is. Tomorrow is the final posting date, and we’ll reveal the wonderful participants on September 5 no matter what. 

Here are today’s releases!

Claws by anonymous for solomonara [ART, Not Rated, No Archive Warnings Apply, Dick Grayson/ Jason Todd] 

Additional Tags: FanartHurt/Comfort, Injured Jason, Secret Identity, dick's teams don't know the red hood's identity, dick's harem of morally ambiguous older men, dick: he's not older, dick: wait i mean he's not my villain boyfriend, dick: damn it

Summary: Dick takes the Red Hood to a Titan safehouse after an injury. Explanations are expected.

Learning To Love The Fall by anonymous for 3isme [ART, Teen, No Warnings Apply, JayDick] 

Additional Tags: Fanart, Alternate Universe - 1920s, Mechanic Jason Todd, Plane Pilot Dick Grayson

Summary:  It's the early 1900s and the country of Gotham is recovering from a long war.

Trying to get a better life, Jason Todd has been moonlighting as an underground plane mechanic for illegal aeroplane racers, getting a cut of whatever the pilot wins. After one particular competition, he's accused of sabotage and, despite his protests, forced into deeper debt. At the end of his rope, he runs into Dick Grayson, ex-ace of the Gotham Air Force and supposed dead man. The war hero was supposed to have been shot down near the end of the war. Regardless, this pilot is the best chance Jason has to grab hold of that better life, and he's not going to let it go.

The Still and Quiet Surface by anonymous for TheWayneManner [FIC, General Audiences, No Warnings Apply, Dick Grayson & Jason Todd] 

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Merpeople, Gift Fic, Ficlet

Summary: Dick leaves the sea behind and never looks back.

Scents & Sensibility by anonymous for Nitrojen [FIC, Explicit, No Warnings, JayDick] 

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Regency, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Fae, References to Jane Austen, although the writer has a pretty dark secret concerning our dear friend jane, Getting to Know Each Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added

Summary: Prompt - Something along the lines of the Princess and the Pea. It can be A/B/O, modern, fantasy, or even something that takes place in canon where there's some kind of curse. Have fun with it! 

Give It A Shot (of espresso) by anonymous for morimaiter [FIC, Teen, No Warnings, Dick Grayson/ Jason Todd] 

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - College/University, Hurt/Comfort, Barista Jason Todd, Flirting, Awkward Flirting, Sexual Tension, JayDick Summer Exchange, very minor injury, art included

Summary: Dick was one of their regulars. And yes, that was his real name. The first time he’d asked Jason to write it on his cup Jason had given him a death glare until the man had whipped out a driver’s license to prove it. ‘Richard John Grayson’, printed right there. It hadn’t been an innuendo after all, just an unfortunate choice of nickname. He came into Gotham Grinders (and hell if Jason hadn’t heard enough innuendos about that name to make up for any lack of innuendo in Dick’s own) every Tuesday and Friday, which happened to always be Jason’s shifts. Every time he asks for some new over-the-top order, and every time without fail he also asks for Jason’s digits. Jason replies every time with:

“I’m sorry sir, we can’t give out personal information to customers. Will that complete your order?” 

(Fic + Art)

Lazy Days by anonymous for BehindTheRobinsMask [ART, Teen, No Warnings, Dick Grayson & Jason Todd] 

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe, Married Life, Married Couple, Established Dick Grayson/Jason Todd, Literal Sleeping Together, Lazy Mornings, Domestic Fluff, Fanart

Summary:  It's the weekend! Jason and Dick sleep in after a long night on the streets.

Taken in the Butt by the Gay Vigilante Acro-Bird by anonymous for solomonara [ART, Teen, No Warnings,  JayDick] 

Additional Tags: Romance Novel, Cover Art, Jason Todd is an Author, Partial Nudity, Birds, Vintage Gay Pulp Novels, Chuck Tingle-Adjacent, Please Forgive me, FanartDigital Art, JayDick Summer Exchange

Summary: The Red Hood has a secret: he's a part-time romance novelist.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, business, events and incidents are the products of the author's imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

Between The Devil And The Deep Blue Sea by anonymous for stribird (timidGoddess) [FIC, Mature, No Warnings Apply, Dick Grayson/ Jason Todd]

Additional Tags: Heavy Angst, Self-Doubt, Lazarus Pit, Panic Attacks, Established Relationship, Bad Decisions, Romantic Fluff, Amnesia, Broken Promises, Road Trips, On the Run

Summary: Jason couldn’t do that. He could never forget what Dick meant to him. Which is why he had to bring his Bluebird back. Which is why he had to remind Dick of everything that he had lost.

Even if that meant forcing him into the Lazarus Pit. Even if it meant cursing him in the process.

tell your boyfriend, if he says he's got beef, that i'm a vegetarian (and i ain't fucking scared of him) by anonymous for prompt_fills [Mature, No Warnings Apply, Dick Grayson/ Jason Todd]

Additional Tags: Fluff and Humor, Crack Treated Seriously, Damian Wayne is a Little Shit, Protective Damian Wayne, POV Damian Wayne, Batman: Reborn, Jason Todd has a Heart, Damian Wayne Has a Heart, Dick Grayson is Damian Wayne’s Parent, Dick Grayson is Batman, Mutual Pining, enemies to idiots to lovers, Misunderstandings, Damian Wayne Plays Therapist, Jason Todd is Bad at Feelings, Dick Grayson is Bad at Feelings, My Continued Mocking of Tim Drake (it's loving i swear), Donna Troy is a goddess and no one deserves her, My love for Donna Troy is so strong that I projected it onto Damian and I am not sorry, Unbetaed we die like Jason Todd refuses to, Past Dick Grayson/Slade Wilson, Jealous Jason Todd, Pining Dick Grayson, BAMF Donna Troy AND MORE

Summary: It had taken a few weeks for Damian’s ill-fated hopes for the more platonic explanation of Grayson’s unseemly conduct regarding Todd to expire because Damian (unlike Drake) is not an idiot (and Brown had prattled on about every instance of very clearly not platonically fueled tension, slowly crushing Damian’s remaining hopes for Richard’s taste in romantic partners). Denial, heavenly as he has now known it to be, can only take one so far. And as a pragmatist and the grandson of the great Ra’s al Ghul and son of the great Bruce Wayne, he assesses the situation from a logical perspective, free of any emotions clouding his impeccable judgment, and comes up with a solution that benefits both himself and Grayson.

Jason Todd must die.

Or the story of how Damian Wayne became the number one shipper of JayDick and is not at all happy about it.

Si solo fueras tú by anonymous for fallogory [ART, Gen, Creator Chose No Warnings, Dick Grayson/Jason Todd]

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Royalty, Fanart, Kid Dick Grayson, Adult Dick Grayson, Kid Jason Todd, Adult Jason Todd, King Bruce Wayne, Prince Damian Wayne, Prince Dick Grayson, Poor Jason Todd, Hurt Dick Grayson, Jealous Damian Wayne, Dick Grayson Needs a Hug

Summary: Blue came first

Then Green arrives

Then Blue meet Red

And Green hate that

Or where Dick was Bruce's bastard child who was forced to lived like a prince until Damian's born and meet someone who make his world be upside down.

the smell of cold stone by anonymous for abcission [FIC, Mature, No Warnings Apply, Dick Grayson/ Jason Todd]

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - College/University, Bisexual Dick Grayson, Autumn, American Football, College Football, Blow Jobs, First Time Blow Jobs, Getting to Know Each Other, Getting Together, referenced Jason/Kyle, Past Dick Grayson/Koriand'r, Past Dick Grayson/Roy Harper, past dick grayson/wally west - Freeform, implied Roy/Kory, implied Roy/Wally, implied Donna/Kyle, future besties Jason and Roy, Roy's eternal crush on Donna, frat boy Dick, Fluff

Summary: Their eyes meet on the quad one day; he’ll probably never see the frat boy again, but he’ll be nice fodder for Jason’s dreams at least.

[mk-wizard]

The Missing Mothers of Transformers Part 2

Hello again, Transformers fans.

This is part two on the fan theory of whatever happened to the two missing mothers of Transformers. Mrs. Witwicky and Mrs. Burns. The first half which discusses what happened to Mrs. Witwicky is here. This half discusses what happened to Mrs. Burns.

I would also like to warn in advance that this fan theory analysis will be sad and I will try to be as sensitive as I can be to all of the people out there whose mothers are not with them anymore.

Now, onto the theory. Unlike Mrs. Witwicky, there are no official records anywhere which states whether Chief Charlie Burns is a widower or a divorcee. It is just very obvious that he is a single dad whose wife is for some reason not in the picture. The Chief seems to have adapted well to this role as he keeps an orderly house, he has raised his kids well and is one heck of a cook. He also seems to be open to meeting someone new as he had a developed a crush on someone at one point. I also have to say from the POV of a wife, Charlie Burns is a catch of a husband and father. With that said, his wife is missing from the family for only two reasons. Either she died sometime when Cody was a baby or she just up and left the family when Cody was a baby.

Considering the kind of guy Chief Burns is like, it is very likely that he was responsible enough to marry a good woman who didn’t leave the picture by choice. However, I doubt she died in a rescue accident because he still allows his own kids to be rescue workers and he is not overly protective of Cody. If Mrs. Burns did die during a rescue operation, I think such trauma would have been addressed in the show or there would have at least been an episode dealing with it. With that said, I think it is more likely that Mrs. Burns died of a sickness she came down with after the birth of Cody. Considering she was around long enough to have four kids, it is very likely that she was forced to leave the picture. Now, as to which disease it was, I have no idea. And as much as I hate to be a downer, this is the more ideal theory as to what happened to Mrs. Burns.

However, if we are going to go by the second theory, I have to say that it is unlikely, but not unheard of for one parent to up and walk out on the family even after so many years together. And considering that Rescue Bots takes place during modern day times in which divorce is not so taboo anymore, that possibility does exist. Plus, with the way Chief Burns speaks so kindly and warmly about all his friends and family, he doesn’t ever bring up his missing wife. I also have to point out that for such a devoted family man with wholesome traditional family values, he doesn’t wear his wedding band. I can understand that Sparkplug didn’t wear his wedding band because his work required him to use his hands a lot, but Charlie Burns is a cop. If he really was a widower, wouldn’t it be more likely that am old fashioned guy like him would still wear his wedding band? It’s tough for me to say this, but when a guy like Charlie isn’t wearing his wedding band anymore, it usually means that the marriage didn’t end well. We never see a single picture of her anywhere and we have seen pictures of the family in home.

I really hate saying this, but considering the evidence, I think it is very likely that Mrs. Burns and him had a divorce in which she just left her family entirely. Like I said, it is not unheard of for a spouse to do that even after having a lot of kids together. While Charlie is as good as they come and probably did his best to choose the right woman to be his wife and the mother of his kids, it doesn’t mean he chose as well as he thought he did. As dark as this sounds, considering how good Charlie is at keeping it all together on his own, the finger is pointing very sharply at the likelihood that he was keeping it together on his own even while his wife was around. Maybe his wife wasn’t such a great person hence why nobody not even the older kids talk about her or show any signs of missing her all that much. In fact, they don’t even have momentos of her. I also want to throw out there that Dani is not very feminine which tells me that even being the only girl, she wasn’t close to her mother. The only girly thing she owns is a pink elephant which we find out wasn’t given to her by her mother. I also should note that the way Kade approaches women is not the way Charlie would which tells me that he deems his father’s way not right after seeing how his parents’ marriage was like. Kade seems to believe he needs to play a dominant role in order for the relationship to be happy.

Unlike Sparkplug’s marriage, I think Charlie’s marriage was problematic and his wife just up and left either because she got tired of everything or perhaps knowing Charlie, he outright threw her out because she became a toxic presence in the family. And honestly, considering how gutsy Chief Burns is like, I honestly wouldn’t put it past him to become fed up and throw her butt out if she really was as awful as the theory suggests. As for what she did to make it get that far and how bad she was, I don’t know. All I can say is that I do think it is more likely that Charlie is most likely divorced and his wife never stayed in touch with the family nor does she seem to be missed.

I have seen divorced families like the Burns family hence why I am drawing this theory up, but I just want to make it clear that even if it is true, it doesn’t mean the Burns family isn’t a happy one now. Like I said, Charlie is a champion single dad. And honestly, I don’t think it is necessarily a bad thing if ex-Mrs. Burns was a bad woman because survivors of bad marriages and families who had a walkaway parent need to be represented in the media. And if the Burns are a family that had a walkway mother, they are positive representation in how they recovered from it. Believe me, some families in their position are left in way worse positions.

At least this is my theory. I want to know what you all think of it and what you think may have happened to Mrs. Burns. I do hope I remained sensitive to the subject.

This fan theory was a request on behalf of @ lolipop192089.

If you have a Transformers theory or character analysis you want explored, please let me know in my ask box. And please, support me through Patreon or Ko-fi if you want me to make Transformers merch and videos. Or if you want a commission of your favourite bot, let me know in my shop. All links are on my profile page.

Thank you for reading and please, stay safe.

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hiya there! I really really love your blog and can't help but come to you with the plea for tattoo!lock or stories with the focus of piercings or tattoos (can be explicit or not) I'm just having a body mod kind of craving and since I can't get my own right now

Anonymous said to inevitably-johnlocked: Do you know of any fics where john or sherlock have a piercing?

Hi Nonnies!!

Ahhh, thanks, I’m happy you enjoy your time here!! Not sure if you’re the same person, but I’ll tack these together anyway.

Ah, I don’t have a lot of Tattoos/Piercing fics that I’ve read personally, so I’ve also added the ones that are tagged on my offline MFL list, so I hope it’s okay that there’s some unread fics on this list!

I’d love more fics, so if anyone has any, please do add them! <3

TATTOOS AND PIERCINGS

See also: Alexx’s Tattoolock List

the fearful passage of death-mark'd love by flibbertygigget (T, 1,980 w., 1 Ch. || Magical Realism, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Platonic Life Partners, Name Marks, Referenced Deaths) – The first time that John meets Sherlock Holmes, the younger man has his sleeves pushed up to his elbows, wrists bare of any hint of ink. Within 48 hours, John has added "Jefferson Hope" to his clavicle. (Or: The One Where, When You Kill Someone, Their Name Shows Up On Your Arm)

Pillow Talk by 221b_hound (E, 2,925 w., 1 Ch. || Post-HLV, Est. Rel., Preening Sherlock, Limpet Sherlock, Frottage, Hand Jobs, Sex on Furniture, Scent Kink, Masturbation, Fluff, Soft Sherlock,  Sherlock’s Bum) – John gets home late from work and Sherlock is nowhere to be seen. John walks through the flat, distracted by memories of all the excellent sex they've been having, and finally finds Sherlock asleep in the upstairs room - apparently having fallen asleep mid-wank while inhaling the scent of John's pillow. Well, you should always finish what you start, John thinks... Part 3 of Lock and Key

Sherlock Holmes and the Mysterious Piercing by Lorelei_Lee (E, 4,130 w., 1 Ch. || Travelling, Sherlock is Loud, Secrets, Genital Piercing, First Time, Licking, Coming Nearly Untouched) – John discovers by chance that Sherlock has a piercing. To his surprise John can't stop thinking about it...

The Best Picture of the Human Soul by SwissMiss (T, 5,779 w., 1 Ch. || Magical Realism, Tattoos, Soulmates) – The stories of our lives are written on our skin. Part 1 of Imagines Moti

Inked in Memory by 221b_hound (E, 9,716 w., 2 Ch. || Post-HLV, Tattoos, First Kiss / Time, Anal, Cuddling, Scars, Captain John, Kissing, Switchlock) – John has been back at Baker Street for a year, following the debacle that ended in Mary's death. Things are good. Back almost to what they used to be. Sherlock might wish they were something else, now, but he only has himself to blame, he thinks. It's too late, now, for the things he first denied before he'd ruined any chances he might have had. Sherlock also thinks that people who get tattoos are idiots. But perhaps he's about to learn a thing or two, not least of which might be it's not as late as he thinks it is. Part 1 of Lock and Key

The Painted Man by jinglebell (E, 9,894 w., 1 Ch. || Tattoos, Scent / Tattoo Kink, Rough & Tender Sex, Fluff and Smut, Obsessive / Jealous Sherlock, Touch Starvation) – Here stood John Watson – middle name, Hamish, ex-RAMC captain and field medic, favourite brand of jam: Duerr's, preferred toothpaste: Mentadent. Loyal, steadfast, interesting John had just done the most unpredictable thing merely by being. John's body was covered, neck-to-waistband, shoulder-to-elbow, in tattoos.

Points by lifeonmars (E, 53,791 w., 42 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || HLV Rewrite / Canon Divergence, Married Life, Pregnancy / Baby Watson, Drinking to Cope, Boxing / Fisticuffs, Clueless John, Angst, Minor Medical Drama, Tattoos, Christmas, First Kiss/Time, Eventual Happy Ending, Love Confessions, Doctor John, Sexuality Crisis, Slow Burn, Case Fic, Drugging, Blow/Hand Job, Emotional Love Making, Parenthood, Passage of Time) – What if His Last Vow never happened? This fic picks up a few months after John and Mary's wedding, in an alternate universe where Magnussen doesn't exist, but Mary is still pregnant. Life continues -- just in a different direction. And slowly, Sherlock and John find their way to each other.

MARKED FOR LATER (unread fics)

Secrets by Mssmithlove (E, 8,479 w., 1 Ch. ||| Uni/Teenlock, Punk Sherlock, Sherlock’s Tongue Ring / Piercing, Sherlock’s Motorcycle, Pining John, Secrets) – Unilock! Sherlock has a tongue ring and a motorcycle and a secret and John is a curious mess.

Quo Fata Vocant by prettysailorsoldier (E, 18,115 w., 1 Ch. || Unilock / Teenlock, Librarians, Bisexual John, Flirting, First Time, Tattoos, Valentine’s Day, Secret Admirer, Matchmaker) – Sherlock is enamored with one of the employees at the university library, wiling away hours of his days just to catch a glimpse of the dynamic John Watson: captain of the rugby team, event manager for the LGBT society, and third-year medical student. Of course, being only a first-year, it's unlikely John will ever notice him. At least, until fate (and a little well-intentioned meddling) intervenes.

Ghosting by johnwatso (E, 22,590 w., 11 Ch. || Post S4, Angst With a Happy Ending, Tattoos, Friends to Lovers) – Sherlock notices that John has a new(ish) tattoo and will go to any lengths to figure out what it means, forcing them to explore the true nature of their relationship.

Rose Petals and Peonies by softsweaterskeletonboi (T, 22,900 w., 16 Ch. || Trans Punk Unilock AU || Trans Sherlock, Child Sexual Abuse, Parent/Child Incest, Flower Shops, Tattoo Parlour, Trigger Warnings) – AU where John is a uni student working in a flower shop next to a tattoo parlor. Things change when punk, flirtatious Sherlock Holmes shows up. However, things quickly turn serious, as the two become entangled in ways they never thought they could.