#at least most of it is from drifters pov

[andr0nap-wf]

Idk if i asked, but how does Misha view Loid and Albrecht and the Cavia?

as a whole: a massive mess theyre not confident theyre qualified to try and fix. theyre an unlicensed family therapist, not a miracle worker

loid is basically family to them by now, like the rest of the entrati upstairs. flawed and messy but worthy of love and their protection. they saw this bitchy old man that called them cringe on first meeting and decided to add him to their found family roster. i like to think they meet up every week to chat over tea in the evening.

their view on albrecht is... extremely complicated, to put it simply. on one hand, they think he sucks and should be force feed to the void. on the other, they pity him to a degree, especially after reading his notes. misha compares him to a snared animal biting off its own limbs to get free. they understand his desperation but cant stand the way he treated his family. misha lost everyone in the zariman incident, the concept of someone cutting off their family despite being so clearly loved is unfathomable to them. most of their beef with al is very personal and petty but they also think his plan so far sucks ass and theyre only willing to work with him to stop him from making things worse.

the cavia!! misha loves them and will die for them. they will go on walks around the sanctum with tagfer and let him vent out his frustation, sit with bird 3 and "preen" him as they chat and has taken to playing komi with fib after loid mentioned that he cheats (misha sucks at komi so you can imagine how that goes)

[literary-illuminati]

2024 Book Review #44 – The Archive Undying by Emma Mieko Candon

This was a book I went into with no hand holding or preconceptions, and so I very much dove into the deep end of the pool. This is, frankly, a mess - but a beautiful one. There’s a lot to love, a lot of meat to chew on; but Candon’s reach really does exceed her grasp in ways that show, and I cannot blame anyone in the slightest for finding the narrative alienating or hard to follow. But shoot for the moon and you still end up among the stars, right?

The book follows Sunai, a deeply traumatized drifter and guide, who absolutely never got over the apocalyptic collapse of the AI-governed city he grew up in – quite literally, as he was interfaced with the AI-god at the time, and has spent the decades since hiding his nature as a Relic despite his stubborn refusal to age and tendency to heal from all injuries in a matter of minutes. Should his nature be known, he would be conscripted as the pilot and adhesive for a towering killer mech, and used to protect and oppress the new city now growing in the ruins of the old. Instead he fled half-way across the world and spends his days helping salvagers and refugees and his nights on drunken benders. After receiving a letter from his past he goes on a particularly intense one of those, and wakes up having both slept with and accepted a job from Veyadi, a former Archivist of the same AI who he’s clearly already told too much. Despite his heroic efforts to avoid honest conversations or emotional connections, from there he’s dragged straight back into the world of dead gods and killer science.

This is a book that hits the ground running and never stops, without much in the way of care about whether you’re able to keep up. The setting has both history and politics that are clearly important but are never explained beyond the bits that are directly relevant, with the expectation that you’ll figure the rest out through context clues (or not). There’s all manner of words being used as technical terms and basically none of them are ever actually defined. Sunai spends half the book explicitly trying to head off or avoid revelation-heavy or important conversations and, while he might know what topic he’s evading by turning the conversation into a quickie, I at least did not. Which is something I enjoy, honestly – I felt I had a solid grasp on most things by the end, and the world was fascinating (if occasionally absurd) – but I really cannot hold it against anyone who checks out.

The narration doesn’t help, either. Technically speaking, the entire book is told from Sunai’s POV. He merely has an unusually porous consciousness, and so spends a large fraction of the book being directly spoken at by one of a couple different voices in his head, or else semi-conscious and seeing the world through one of several different people’s eyes. When he’s not just outright hallucinating or trapped in a VR simulation, or spiraling into flashbacks (some of which are even his). This I found harder to adapt to and more frustrating, and in many cases felt like Candon was trying to show off and not quite managing it, but when it worked it really did work (the playing with the narrative voice in the second act, especially).

The book’s most saliently about trauma and (failing to) deal with it. It is not especially subtle about how Sunai’s relic nature is just a literalization of how he latches on to the plans and hopes of others to avoid even considering the idea of what his own might look like, and makes no bones about making him the whole thing’s beating heart. The book, then, depends a great deal on how compelling you find him. Personally I found the broken wreck of a man endlessly endearing, even when he was also deeply frustrating to be stuck in the head of.

The book’s other characters fare less well, sadly. The other major characters, despite (or maybe because of) all the time spent looking through their eyes and ruminating on their motives, still end up feeling opaque and a bit arbitrary. There’s only so many world-shaking revelations you can layer on top of each other before they stop having much impact and you stop being that invested in the characters. Ruhi and Imaru especially suffered here, the former for having so many story beats stuffed into him he ended up feeling more like a plot device than a real character, the latter because she felt like the story highlighted her importance to Sunai and general significance and then didn’t really know what to do with her past a certain point. In both cases (and like, this is clearly intentional) you end up knowing quite a lot of what Sunai think of them and not that much about the characters themselves.

Veyadi does better, if not always consistently. His romance with Sunai (osculating between unhealthy coping mechanism FWBs and all-consuming devotion as the story progresses) is another of the book’s main throughlines and it largely worked for me – Sunai’s wilful refusal to accept either of their obvious feelings was well-done and didn’t last quite long enough to be frustrating, and it was always entertainingly unhealthy in one way or another. ‘adi’s character outside the romance is significantly more opaque. Partly for reasons of plot and preserving tension, but still – I ended the book caring that Sunai cared about it, but not really about him for his own sake.

I admit I feel personally let down by the ending less for what it does than what it teases at then fails to do. All that buildup and ominous foreshadowing about losing your identity and being subsumed and synthesized into a greater hole as the walls come down and in the end they and the remnant AI just end up being able to DM each other’s brains. My expectations of a perfect lyctorhood or even some original examination of codependent relationship realized as the literal synthesis of identities, entirely dashed.

The ending in general was also just, well, messy. Too many plates in the air, too much ambiguity and nuance that then needed to be forcefully resolved to tie things off, too much sublime technology and miraculous agency in conflict for the final result not to just feel arbitrary – especially since the neat resolution arrived at makes absolutely no sense at all unless the ‘AI’ in question was actually just some kind of incorporeal demon the whole time. The emotional beats do work, but the result feels like a bit less than the sum of its parts. But then I may need to accept that my standards for a good ending are just impossible for 99 books in 100 to hope meeting.

Still, mess aside a thoroughly enjoyable read and one I’m deeply sad doesn’t seem to have gotten more attention. Though it also definitely doesn’t need to be the first in a series (many such cases, these days).

[gretavangroupie]

Valor (Chapter 3)

Pairing: Jake x Reader, Daniel x Reader

Word Count: 13.4k

Warnings: Cursin', Smokin', Drinkin', Allusions to Drug Use. Angst: Struggle and Poverty, Emotional Manipulation, Abandonment, Jealousy, Mentions of Violence, Mentions of Weapons, Fighting, Blood, Mentions of Death, Mention of Suicide, Suicidal Actions, Crying, Heavy Angst, Allusions to Shady Activities, Coercion, Gambling, Betting. Smut: Kissing, Heavy Petting, Oral F!Receiving, Fingering, Unprotected Penetrative Sex.

Valor Playlist: Apple Music | Spotify

A new project in collaboration with my talented co-writer @gretavanmoon.

HER POV

“I want details.” You demanded, determined to understand at least why they were keeping you so involved. 

They both gave you almost the exact same look, half-agitated and half-understanding they had to at least give you something. Jake cleared his throat first. 

“My dad…passed away seven years ago, and when he did, he left behind more than this shop.” Jake drew on his cigarette, readjusting in his seat as he talked. “Ace had a bad gambling problem, so bad that it put him in more debt and more depression than I really ever knew about. He used to hold these poker games for fun, until he started losin’ money, and started making more enemies than he did friends. Shit started to go south really quick. Honestly, it was a lot worse then, than it is now. The law was involved, dirty cops were playin’ cards one night and harassing my dad the next, drifters started to come around and threaten him while he was working…it was an overall unsafe environment for me and Danny.” He went on. 

“Wait.” You interrupted, trying to grasp everything. “Danny, you were always here?”

He nodded. “Yup, I uh, I started off in foster care, but…no one ever wanted to keep me. I was always getting into trouble and fightin’ in school… Jake was my best friend. I stayed here more than I stayed at home…most of the time my foster parents never even knew where I was. But Ace took care of me, when he could hardly even take care of Jake. So one day, it was Thanksgiving, I think. I just…never left. I was still just a kid. Started watching every move Ace made mechanicin’. Taught myself how to fix shit.” He ended the story with a harsh swallow. You knew that was something he didn’t share often. 

You couldn’t help but smile, realizing a little bit more how close these two actually really were. Raised as brothers. 

“So anyway, after my dad died, I was left with all this shit…all the money he owed to people fell into my lap. Not to mention all the other bullshit…the bills, the overdue payments, taxes…he was drowning then, and we’re drowning now.”

“And Teddy, he’s been playing cards here since I can remember.” Danny explained. 

“Teddy…” you repeated. 

“Yeah. He’s the one that called yesterday, he arranges the games. My dad owed him so much money, we’re still paying it back. We have to listen to him when he calls, we don’t have a choice. Every time we have a game and either of us wins, we give him the money. Right off the bat. It’s fuckin' horrible.”

“Well how long until he’s paid off?” You asked. 

“We’ve barely even made a dent, unfortunately.” Jake said, tamping his cigarette out on the floor between his boots. “It’s rare that either of us win.”

“Okay, well things are making a little more sense, I guess…” you could tell they were holding back on all the details, probably sparing you from knowing too much at one time. “So where do I come in, why are you hiding me?”

Jake took a deep breath, and leaned his elbows down on his knees, looking you directly in the eyes.  “You’re collateral. You’re fresh meat. They know that if…they can get to you, they can use you.” 

You felt your stomach drop to the floor. “Use me for what?”

Jake cocked an eyebrow. “To get to me.”

You looked back at Jake, staring each other down as you let it sink in. To get to me… You shook your head. “But that…doesn’t make any sense. Why would they think I mattered to you, at all?” 

You watched a tiny grin form on both of their faces. “They know we’re protective. They know you’ve been hanging around us…and honestly, I bet they know you have money.” Danny chimed in. “Y/N, how much are you payin’ for your motel room?”

“Uh, thirty-five a night, why?” You answered. 

“Are you fuckin' kidding me?!” Jake sat back in his seat as he and Danny exchanged knowing looks of ‘thought so.’

“Wanda.” Danny said, his voice seething. 

“I thought it was steep, but she didn’t give me a choice in the room, said it was all she had—”

“I bet she watched you pull your cold hard cash from your wallet, too, didn’t she?” Danny asked. “Watched you count it out?”

“Y-yeah…so?”

“So,” Jake tried to explain. “Wanda is friends with Teddy’s crew. Christ…She fuckin' told them you had money…they sent Tanya down here to get concrete evidence you were with us…that’s why he called the poker game. They want your money, Y/N. On top of our money. And they know that they can get paid a whole lot quicker if they get a hold of you…they know we would pay up if it was you on the line…”

Your eyes were stuck open at all of the information, trying to soak everything in as it was fed to you. 

“Me on the line…so, so you’re saying they might try to…to kidnap me? Hold me for ransom or something?” You could hardly get the words out. 

Danny nodded slowly while Jake massaged his palms. “Or worse.”

“Worse? What the fuck could be worse?!” You yelled, leaning off of the countertop. Danny stood from the chair, walking over to calm the storm he knew was brewing inside you. You felt him wrap his arms slowly around your neck, in a completely non-sexual way, knowing that if you needed to feel anything right now, it was comfort. 

“We don’t intend on letting you find out. And we don’t intend on giving them the satisfaction of winning like that.” He said, his voice laced with promise. You opened your eyes and peered over Danny’s shoulder, locking eyes with Jake as he nodded his head in agreement. 

“I’ve only been here for like two days, guys…you don’t owe me anything, I just want to get the hell out of here, I never wanted to bring all this trouble…” you felt like you were on the verge of tears, feeling guilty that you inadvertently made their situation worse. 

“You didn’t bring any trouble, Y/N. They’re bad men with bad reputations and shit lives. Teddy’s going to die wanting to bring me strife. It’s like he gets off on the shit…” Jake said, his voice trailing off as he looked at the wall behind you. Danny let go of your shoulders. 

“What, Jake? What is it?” His eyes were glued to the calendar that hung on the wall behind you. 

“Nothing. Today Saturday?” His face had gone completely white, stark as the smoke that bellowed from his cigarette. 

“Yeah, it is…” Danny took your hands in his. “I know it’s fucked, Y/N. It’s so fucked. And I’m so sorry you got dragged into this mess. I know you want to leave, but don’t you agree that the best place for you right now is with us? We can protect you…we know how their minds work…I’d feel so much better if you just, didn’t go back to the motel…”

He was pleading with you, and honestly at this point, you’d be terrified to be alone in that motel after learning everything you learned tonight, especially that Wanda had been snitching on your every fucking move. Bitch. 

You nodded, agreeing with Danny. As pissed off, insulted, and sick as it made you, you felt like you had no choice but to agree. “Alright. If it’s for my safety…I’ll stay here. But I’m not going to like it.” You were going to love it, as fucked as it was. “But honestly, how long? You’ve already been paying him off for 7 years…”

“Just until we figure something out. Until we fix your car, then you can disappear and let the wind carry you away, straight to Atlanta.” Danny answered with a true and genuine frown. He didn’t want you to leave. 

“Okay. But I have a couple conditions.”

They both looked at you with puzzled expressions. “You clean your disgusting, repulsive bathroom, and you both wash your sheets. Please. For the love of god.”

Sweet, sexy laughs escaped them both as they conceded, relaxing back in their chairs. “Yeah, okay. Point taken.” Danny said, holding his hand out to shake yours. “It’s a deal, Miss Thing.”

“Good. Thank you. I’ll even make dinner tonight, for your troubles.” You offered, knowing there wasn’t much in the cabinets, but you were confident you could whip something up. 

Jake stood from his chair, still looking a little pekid from whatever he noticed about the calendar earlier. He held his hand out to shake yours, too. “One clean bathroom, coming up.”

You began searching through the cabinets and refrigerator, finding a few potatoes and some bologna. Hmm, when all else fails, fry it. 

You pulled some oil from the cabinet, and laid out six pieces of the almost-expired bread hidden away on the counter. This will have to do. 

You’d come into this shop two and a half days ago, feeling uneasy, anxious, and unsure…and now you sat here with two of your oldest classmates as they transformed their home and business into a fortress for you to stay in, using themselves as a protective shield from the bad guys who were vying for you. 

But it didn’t feel wrong staying with Danny…you liked him. You liked him a lot. And with Jake…you felt…drawn to him. Both of them. But there was something about Danny’s touch that made you crave him; him leaving you hanging in the motel room earlier was enough to make you so sexually frustrated that you resented him for a second. 

The image of him lying on top of you under the covers was all you could think about, and you were absolutely dying to get him back in bed. The way his long, dark locks laid across his shoulders and reached all the way down to past the middle of his back, his defined features and strong jawline…the way his nose scrunched up when he smiled… all of it was stuck in your brain, burning little images that replayed over and over. 

He felt different than Peter, that much you could tell even after just the brief encounter you’d had. Like he would let you be in charge instead of only trying to appease his every little fantasy. 

And his lips on yours? Like the buzzing end of an electric wire, you could physically feel them still when he parted from you. The way his tongue felt in your mouth, his hands gripping your hips… yeah. It was decided. You wouldn’t be joining Jake in his bed again tonight. 

—

JAKE POV

The smell was familiar. One you recognized deep down in your bones. A smell that transported you back in time. You pulled your sheets from the washing machine, the lid black and dirty which was kind of ironic. You tossed them into the dryer, starting it up as the smell lured you into the kitchen. You can’t remember the last time someone that wasn’t you made a meal in this kitchen. 

You wiped your bleach-scented hands across your pants, the smell of lemon bathroom cleaner and Comet stuck in your nose. You realized your hands were cleaner than they’d been in probably years, after scrubbing away at the black ring in the bathtub. You could actually see the whiteness of your fingernails. 

As you rested your hands on a kitchen chair, you peered over to the stove watching Y/N finish frying up a pan of diced potatoes. Your stomach growled and your mouth watered as you watched her, completely unknowing you were standing behind her. 

Danny steps out of the hallway and into the kitchen, his voice startling both of you. “Damn, it smells good in here. I’m starving.” He walks up behind Y/N, peeking over her shoulder as his hand squeezes her hip. He turns to grab a few paper plates, placing them on the counter for her before taking a seat in the old wooden chair. 

You swung around and sat yourself in your own chair, once again letting your eyes drift over to the calendar on the wall. Seven years today. Seven years, Ace. You lean on your fist, twirling the worn metal zippo between your fingers. Rubbing your thumb over the engravings, hand carved by the man himself. It was all you really had left of him, taking it from his pocket that day, giving it a home in yours ever since. Your heart sank the more you thought about it, which is why you didn’t ever let yourself. You always did everything in your power to forget this day, never give it the chance to crush you like this, but this year, lucky number seven… It got you. 

“Alright, it’s ready!” she said, spinning around with two paper plates filled with fried potatoes and fried bologna sandwiches. That was it. That was the smell. Fried bologna. Your dad’s fucking favorite. Of course, today of all days. 

“Shit this looks good, haven't had fried bologna in forever!” Danny says, grabbing the sandwich and taking a bite. She grabs her own plate and sits between the two of you, stabbing her fork into a potato as you just stare down at the plate in front of you. You’re stuck. Frozen. Your stomach telling you to eat but your mind suddenly rushing with memories you’d pushed down for years. It hurt. They hurt.

Not wanting to draw attention to yourself you picked up the sandwich, and held it to your mouth, slowly taking a bite as Y/N and Danny chatted about nothing. You wished you could turn off the instant replay in your mind of the last time you sat at this table eating with your dad. It hit you like a ton of bricks that now felt as if they settled in the pit of your stomach. 

The thing about Ace though, was that he never really told you how to live your life. He just let you live it watching him, and hoping you’d learn from his mistakes. What you didn’t expect, was that his mistakes would in turn become your own burden. You hated him for what he did. You hated that he left you to clean up his mess. You hated that you no longer had a family of your own. Just Daniel, and Daniel, you. That was okay though, the two of you had each other and that was better than nothing. You weren’t sure you’d ever forgive Ace, not for leaving you, but for letting your mother leave you before you ever even got a chance to know her. That was unforgivable.

You finished the last bite of your sandwich, completely spaced out as you stared off at the wall, just letting the memories ravage your consciousness, when suddenly it all just felt like too much. You started to feel suffocated by the thoughts, the room you were in suddenly feeling too hot, and too small. Your chest started to tighten and your throat felt small. You pushed your chair back and snatched your plate from the table, tossing it in the trash can as you offered a quick ‘thank you’ to Y/N. Your feet carried you out into the garage, as your hands found the light switch.  

The buzzing of the fluorescent lights calmed you a bit. Your eyes caught sight of Valor, and huff of air left your chest. A pristine 1968 Chevrolet Chevelle SS. Hardtop, Tuxedo Black with a standard 396 Horsepower engine, all hidden under a dusty beige colored canvas tarp.  

Just keep your mind busy. Do what you know. You walked over to the covered car, letting your hand hover over the cover, grabbing a fist full of the fabric and yanking it off with a scream. Your eyes took her in, she was pretty, you’d give her that, but hell, maybe you would be too if someone spent all their time fixing you up. Ace sure did. Throw the football? ‘No son, we have to get Valor running. Don’t you want to hear her purr?’ You can still hear his voice perfectly, as he says it. 

You slip your hand into the polished chrome handle, pulling the door open and sliding into the white vinyl bucket seat. It hugged you in just the right way, making the driver feel like they were part of the car. One with it. You grabbed the keys from the center console, sticking them into the ignition and twisting. The engine roared to life. He’d at least gotten that far, and he was right, she sure did sound pretty when she purred. But the problem is that she wouldn’t stay running. She’d run for a little while, and out of nowhere, she’d die. And that’s where he left her, sitting right here in the middle of this garage, covered and ashamed. You could barely look at it most days, leaving the cover on for months at a time until the feeling struck, and you needed to get your anger out. You’d completely tear apart the front end, combing through every single piece searching for something, anything that could be wrong, but every time you came up empty. 

Like clockwork, she died. The smell of the carpet and old vinyl filling your senses the way it always had. A suffocating blend of raw gasoline and rich exhaust, with overtones of hot Castrol. You lived for it, in fact it was all you ever really knew. It brought you to life most days, the process of working on cars satisfying your need to fix. To tinker. To solve. You ripped the keys from the ignition and slammed the door shut behind you. The black paint was so perfectly shiny you could see your own reflection. You tossed the keys into your pocket and let your legs carry you up the metal steps to your desk, opening the till, and fingering through the stacks of cash.

You instinctively grab for a twenty, knowing it’s more than enough to cover your usual selection but shit, tonight was a celebration right? You’re getting the good shit tonight. Just for you Ace. Just like you’d do, right? You snatch a fifty from the register, slamming it shut with a ding as your feet stomp down the metal stairs and back through the house. As you cross through the kitchen you grab your keys from the counter, with the fifty still in hand, receiving puzzled looks from Y/N and Daniel. 

You meet her eyes as you watch hers drift down to the cash in your hand, an instant look of confusion crossing her face. You crumpled it up in your hand as soon as you knew she saw it, stuffing the bill in your jeans pocket. 

You know what Daniel wants to say, but you know he’s not stupid enough to say it. Her though, she has no idea, and you know she’s not afraid to speak her mind. Your eyes meet hers again for the briefest second and you wonder if she can see the pain in your eyes before you look away and head for the front door. 

—

It’s not long until you’re pulling up at the QuikStop, pulling the barred door open as the bell chimes overhead. “Well then, what’ve we got here Jacob?” old man Johnson says, taking in your appearance. “Need you a top off tonight, son?” he snickers. You tip your chin in acknowledgement as you make your way to the back wall lined with a small assortment of different liquors. Your eyes scan over the offerings, stopping short when you catch sight of the good stuff. You grab the red waxed neck of the Maker’s Mark, and make your way to the counter to purchase your poison of the evening. You were typically a Seagram’s 7 man, but tonight you were pretty much feeling like a Maker’s man, considering your body was about to filled to the brim with it. fucking anything to stop the noise in your head.

“My my, this’s not ‘chur usual, son.” he grins, knowing you’re about to fork out a pretty penny. 

“Should get the job done, you think?” you remark, pulling the fifty from your jeans pocket.

“Mighty fine this one is. Quell yer troubles, it sure will.” he says, taking it from your fingers. He gives you back a few small bills and loose coins that you shove into your pants pocket, snatching the bottle from the counter before he even has a chance to place it in a paper bag. “You have yeh’s a good night Jacob.” he calls out as your foot steps out the door into the thick humid air. 

 —

HER POV

“Thank you for dinner.” You felt Danny’s breath on the back of your neck as you scrubbed the frying pan. “Do you know how long it’s been since we’ve had a cooked meal in this place?”

His lips were trailing soft kisses down your neck onto your shoulder, making your neck crane sideways. “S’hardly a meal, Danny. Just thought you might’ve wanted somethin’ hot for a change.”

You turned to face him, scratching your nails up his pecs before wrapping your arms around his neck, hands still wet from the sink. “Mmm, I do want somethin’ hot.” His hands were under your thighs, fingertips burying in before lifting you up to sit on the countertop. He was just the right height to pull you forward a little, pressing himself directly against your core. Just that feeling alone made you weak, and hearing his harsh inhale from the contact spurred you on even more. 

You kissed him, hard, feeling that want from earlier come crashing back into you again. His hands stayed on your thighs, his finger span covering almost the entirety of your skin. You both allowed yourselves time to explore again, letting things heat up like they had before. His hand moved up to grip your hair, pulling it backwards as he trailed his mouth down your throat, nipping and biting tiny marks as he did so. 

Suddenly the temperature of the room increased tenfold and you felt your body begging you to do something, make another move. You maneuvered your hips to press yourself against him, his length feeling hard and stiff against you now. The guttural moan that escaped him sounded so carnal you could’ve taken him right then and there, but the risk of being caught was still heavy in your mind. 

“Wait… Jake could be back any minute…” you choked out, glancing to the metal door. 

“Guess we better fuckin' get to it, then.” He buried his face in your neck as he lifted you from the counter, carrying you through the kitchen and to his bedroom with ease. He kicked the door closed behind him as he drifted slowly to his bed, your mouths and hands still ripping at each other. 

His knee hit the mattress and he lowered you down with a bounce, immediately reaching for the hem of your shirt before pulling it over your head. Without disconnecting your mouths, your hands anxiously fumbled around at his zipper, unbuttoning his jeans. It was like all shyness had left your body as you felt no shame in letting your hand grip his shaft, your hands burning to know what he felt like without the barrier of his boxers. 

“Fuck Y/N…I want you so bad…” he almost laughed at himself, pushing your shoulder back into the pillows. 

“Mmm, I can tell.” You grinned as your hand moved up and down his length, growing harder by the second. He rolled over and pulled his jeans off before towering over you again, reaching behind you to unclasp your bra in one swift motion. Your hand found him again, and this time you noticed just how much you were about to be dealing with. You weren’t sure your ever had someone his size before, and it made you fuckin' excited. 

Your mouths were connected in such a way that you felt like you’d never separate; both of you completely taken with the way the other tasted. Your hands came up to grip his face, running your fingers over his cheeks. “Can you please take that fuckin' ring off your finger? If I’m gonna fuck you I don’t want to be thinkin’ about you and another man.”

Shit. You’d completely forgotten you even had it on. You hesitated a second, knowing that it didn’t mean shit to you anymore, but something told you not to throw it away. You slid it off and placed it on the nightstand, out of sight and definitely out of mind. 

“Thank you. Now…let me see your body again, baby…” he mumbled, sitting back on his knees to pull your jeans and panties off. “You’re fuckin' stacked, you know that?”

Your mouth contorted into a devious grin, having never heard a man talk about you like this before. Peter never praised you, never complimented you or your looks, only took what he could get then fell asleep. 

Danny made you feel beautiful, made you feel empowered…his eyes stayed bewitched as he scanned from your thighs to your tits, all the way to your face again before leaning his mouth down, licking directly over your mound and up your stomach. 

His hands gripped around your hips, his fingertips gripping your asscheeks while his thumbs reached all the way to your groin…his hands were massive. He tilted his hands so that you were forced to arch, inadvertently spreading your legs apart a little as he did so. Just that movement alone made you feel used and in charge at the same time; just the sight of your body was sending him over the edge with want for you, and you liked it. 

His eyes met yours again, rushed and frenzied as he silently asked permission. You nodded a little, halfway unsure of what he was asking. 

“You taste as good as you look, baby?” He began to lay his body flat on his stomach between your legs, his hands pressing your muscles in that special way again, to make the display all the more visual for him. “You’re fuckin' soaked, god I bet you’re so sweet…” he muttered, running his tongue up and down the insides of your legs. 

You held back a little. You were absolutely dying for him to bury his face in you, but again, this was something that Peter had only done once or twice for you, and that was only because you’d asked him to. Essentially, this was new territory. A brand new experience, really. Coming from someone who actually wanted to do it. 

His tongue was traveling around still, teasing…exploring. “Can I taste you?” He asked, his deep brown eyes flickering up to yours as you anxiously let a hand down to grip in his hair. You nodded quickly, a barely audible ‘yes’ slipping from your lips. “Please.”

When his tongue finally buried in between your folds, it was unlike anything you had ever experienced in your life…obviously Peter had been doing it all wrong. His tongue buried, his lips enclosed around you…hitting all the right spots with such precision you felt like you were in the clouds. The burning, fiery, thunder-storming clouds. Your hand gripped his hair tighter as he pushed inside you, lapping his tongue side to side and up and down and pulling out again, then working tiny circles around your clit. 

You realized you’d been holding your breath the second Danny popped up, laughing a little bit. “Breathe, baby.” You could feel the peach fuzz around his mouth scratching against you as he smiled through his words, but it felt good. An added bonus, the slightly painful irritation making it feel even better as he glided side to side. 

You listened to his instruction as you let yourself inhale, his low growl giggle vibrating through your body. “God damnit, Danny…what the…” your knees came up around his ears, your thighs squeezing him together as you neared that sweet feeling beginning to take over your entire body. His hands were still gripped tightly around your hips and ass, holding you steadily exactly where he wanted you. 

Fuck, you loved feeling out of control.

But then, suddenly, you wanted more. Needed more. He began to bring his hand around to add his fingers, lightly toying at your entrance with his fingertips. 

“No, no.” You commanded, stopping him in his tracks. 

“What’s wrong, you okay?” He perked up. 

You pulled him up by his hair, urging him to kiss you again. “Yes I’m fine. Didn’t want you to do that, yet. I wanna feel you. It ruins the surprise.” You muttered through exhausted pants, kissing away the wetness that covered his face. 

His eyebrows raised in surprise, an impressed look of intrigue flowing over him. “Oh, fuck…alright then.”

You pushed him off you to lie flat on his back, completely caught off guard by the switch. “Take them off.” You demanded, but also reaching for the hem of his boxers yourself, to speed up the process. 

Once they were in a pile beside you, you hopped to all fours and placed one hand on either side of his head as his hands drifted from your back to your hips again. He was fighting himself, bucking his hips up into you as he tried to make contact. 

“Let me do it. Wanna feel every inch.” You spoke again, letting him know you were on top, you were calling the shots. His facial expression was already fucked out, still shining with the wetness from your arousal…you could tell you had him right where you wanted him. You reached between you, gripping his considerable length in your hand again as he tossed his head back with a groan. Your eyes caught the way the ink danced across his neck as it pulled tight. The spider web that stretched across his throat was so intricate, you felt caught in the web yourself. He clenched his jaw together when he finally looked at you, reaching a hand up to grip your hair back away from falling in his face. 

“Wanna see your face, baby. Do it, please, fuck…” he was writhing beneath you, and you could already tell he was going to be the lay of a lifetime. You teased your own entrance with his tip, tracing your wetness all around. When you finally lined up, you prepared yourself to take him in, knowing it had been a while, and this was going to be a stretch. 

You went slowly, feeling every centimeter enter you, the pain so sweet and so engulfing. When you finally bottomed out, he choked out a huffed sound so beautiful you wished you had it on film, the feeling of him all the way inside you so snug, he felt like he belonged there. 

“Jesus Christ Y/N…my god…” he purred, his tongue sticking out to wet his lips as you sat back up, slowly beginning a pace that you knew was going to absolutely kill you. He was unlike anything you had ever felt before, the perfect size, attached to the perfect body…his eyes finally looked up at you long enough to share a moment. His abdomen crunched in on itself when you bottomed out again, the top of his head resting on your shoulder as his hands guided you up and down. 

You finally let yourself find a rhythm, leaning into him and flicking your hips back as you sped up. You let your cries fill the room; suddenly you couldn’t care less if Jake walked in on you right now. It was heavenly, perfect in every sense of the word, and your insides were swirling and begging you to never let yourself stop. 

“God, please don’t stop, Y/N…right there…” he purred again, gripping your hair back as you rode him into oblivion. You leaned back a little, resting one hand on his thigh behind you while the other one balanced on his sternum. Your fingers danced dangerously close to another tattoo, one you hadn’t seen before. A scattering of words in German sat delicately over his heart. You wanted to ask him what it said, but you were scared to know, based on the location.

You felt him deep inside, simply rolling your hips forward and back as you let him take a look at the show. You felt him hitting you deeper this way, eliciting a whine from you that you were borderline embarrassed about. His hand shot to your core, his thumb rubbing over your clit as he bucked up again. “So fuckin’ beautiful, Y/N…I swear…” 

His praises tightened the knot that was already building inside you, the sound of him coming apart beneath you was enough to get you off by itself. Just as you were about to let it all go, you leaned down over him again, your mouth burying in his neck, biting into him as your sounds became more and more strangled, the overwhelming feeling of pure pleasure ripping through your body. 

The buildup was insane, it felt like it lasted for hours. You guessed he could tell that you were close as he began thrusting up into you, too. “Yeah baby…go for it…let me have it…”

The white light that encompassed your entire being came flashing before your eyes, your teeth clenching into the skin of his pec as you came undone, shaking with what had to have been the most intense orgasm you had ever had. You wanted to say his name, scream it into the air, let him know how good he felt inside you, but you couldn’t form a coherent word even if you wanted to. Everything went numb and dull for a split second as you came down, panting and crying out choked sounds as you relaxed. You continued riding him, though…wanting to bring him to his delicious climax too. 

“I’m close baby please, please don’t stop…” he begged, and suddenly his stomach was clenching, his dick twitching deep inside you still as he pulled you up off of him, grabbing himself in his hand to let his release flow over his hand and onto your stomach. You watched as his hand worked over his length, his eyes fixed on you as he came down, and slowed his hand. 

His eyebrows shot together as his facial expression showed you how good it felt, how pretty you looked with his cum on you… it wasn’t something you had ever let a man do before, but you swore in that second that if he made you feel that way for the rest of forever, you’d let him do just about whatever he damn well pleased. 

When you finally caught your breath, you smiled at one another, laughing and completely out of breath. 

“Christ, you were even better than I imagined, baby…” he huffed, letting his hands fly to either side of his body, careful not to drop the mess that was in his right hand. You laughed as you plopped down beside him, grinning from ear to ear as you left the afterglow set in. 

“I’ve never had a man make me feel so good in my life, Danny. I swear.” You admitted. 

“Really? Even when you did that to them?” He perked up in disbelief. 

You nodded. “Yeah, really. There were a couple of firsts in there.”

His eyebrows raised up. “Fuck… Well, I’m telling you, I never would’ve guessed that, baby. You are spectacular. I don’t know if I’ll ever stop wanting you like that.” He brought his face close to yours to lay a sweet, passionate kiss to your lips. 

You smiled sweetly back as he pulled away, looking back at you with the sweetest smirk as he made his way to the bathroom, and you suddenly found yourself completely unable to pull your lust filled eyes away from the perfect roundness of his ass. 

——

“This one okay?” You asked Danny, pulling an oversized t-shirt from his drawer. It was a dingy white and filled with holes and rips, but the fabric felt soft and comfortable. 

“Whatever you want, baby.” He smirked, laid out across his bed in nothing but his loose-fitting gray boxers, strumming away on a black acoustic guitar. His eyes had been transfixed on the wall across from you before you interrupted him…his fingers mindlessly crawling across the 6-string, plucking out a solemn little tune that wasn’t familiar. 

You crawled back up next to him on the bed, reaching across him to his nightstand to grab his box of smokes. “What are these, anyway?” You asked, opening the top flap. 

“…Not what the box says they are.” He let out a sweet laugh. “I roll my own. I blend together a few different types of tobacco to get the flavor I want.”

“Hm. That’s why yours always smell so much better than Jake’s, then?” You asked, pulling one out and running it underneath your nose. “They smell sweet…”

“Mmhm. Taste good too. Try it.” He let go of the neck of the guitar for a second, reaching to his table to grab his lighter. He flicked the ignitor and produced a flame for you, watching you intently as you brought the end of the cigarette to it, inhaling the sweet aroma into your lungs. Damn, he was right. 

“That’s really tasty…” you licked your lips together. “Even the paper is kinda sweet.” You hit it again before passing it back to him. 

“Yeah. Took me a while to get it just right. Came from stealin’ Ace’s half empty bags mostly.” He laughed at the memory. 

You tucked a pillow up under your arm as he began to play again, the cigarette hanging from his lips as the ash grew longer. His inked hands looked sinful dancing across the strings, and he was so natural at it. You caught a glimpse of the red and black triple’s 7’s tattooed on the inside of his pointer finger, and for some reason, you were sure you’d not seen it before. 

“Triple 7’s, huh?” You thought you had a pretty good idea of what it symbolized, but you wanted to see what his reasoning was. 

“Yeah, symbolizes good fortune and luck.” He pulled the smoke from his lips, tamping it out on the ashtray on the table. “Doesn’t really seem to be doin’ the job too well, does it?” He ended his sentence with a wink. “Not til’ you waltzed through the door at least.”

You began fingering with a loose string on his boxers. “I thought it meant the Holy Trinity...” 

“Means that too, I guess. But I stopped bein’ religious a long time ago.” 

The two of you were quiet a while, just the occasional sound of Jake banging around in the shop mixed with Danny’s tune to fill the air. 

“How long you been playin’?” You asked. 

His voice was getting groggy, sleep threatening him as the minutes ticked by. “Since I was 5 or 6 I guess, one of my foster families had one and I remember realizing it made a really pretty noise… I’d pick it up and run to my room and strum away on it to drown out the sound of them fighting. Seemed to help me not hear it. Then I started to actually like the way it felt in my hands…”

You were quiet for a second. “That why you play your music so loud now?”

His fingers stopped altogether as his eyes met yours. His face slowly contorted into a million different emotions at once before he looked back to the wall again, gently picking up where he left off. 

“Fuck, yeah…I guess it is…”

“Jake play guitar too?” You tried to change the subject once you realized you had maybe hit a little too close to home with your question. 

He shook his head. “No, he plays harmonica like the damned devil, though. Only does it every once in a while, but shit…he’s good at it. Every now and then we’ll get on a good drunk and play together to a big audience of ourselves.” He smiled sideways as he turned to look at you. 

“Maybe y'all can play for me sometime.” Your fingertips were sliding along the hem of his boxers. 

He sucked his bottom lip in through his teeth. “We’d love to play for you…” his eyes had started bouncing around each feature on your face, taking you in again as he moved himself closer. He pressed his lips into yours again, sweet and soft and mellow. “You know I’m gonna be thinking of you on top of me all the time now…gonna want it all the time…” he groaned through broken kisses. “Fuck… I don’t think you even know how gorgeous you looked…” 

You pressed your tongue between his lips again, the sudden new movements hitting the strings of the guitar causing them to make a crazy scratching noise. “I’ll ride you whenever the hell you want, Danny…” you breathed, huffing a breath into his mouth. And you meant it, too. 

Just as things started to get heated again, you heard Danny’s radio in the bay shoot up to 11. It was followed by a loud metallic bang, and the sound of a loud engine starting up. It startled you, and you sat up to look at the door. 

“Fuck.” Danny said shortly, rubbing his hands through his hair. 

“What was that? Is he okay?”

“Yeah, no. No, he’s not. But, we’ve just gotta—” he sputtered. You slid yourself across the bed, moving toward the door as you heard another loud thud echo through the bay. 

“What is he doing?!” you urge.

“He’s drunk. He’s trying to fix Valor.” He explained, pinching the bridge of his nose. 

“Valor? The fuck is Valor?” you ask. 

“The fuckin' car his dad left em.” he answers. “Only touches it when he's wasted.”

“How do you know, does he do this often?” You stood at the foot of Danny’s bed, throwing your hip out as you crossed your arms. Suddenly you heard Jake’s loud voice yelling along to the first verse of ‘Turn the Page’ by Bob Seger. “My god, is he singing?!”

Danny sat up and crawled to sit on the edge of the bed. “Y/N, listen. Every so often, Jake will go on a bender, and when he does it, he does it right. It was Ace’s dying wish for Jake to fix that car, and the only way he can bring himself to touch it, is if he’s out of his mind intoxicated. So, we just gotta let him do it. He’ll be fine, just gotta get it out of his system.” 

Wait. “So he has to be fucked up before he can even pop the hood?” This wasn’t making sense. 

Danny nodded. “Yeah, he’ll be fine, this is just how he works through it.”

“Danny, that is an extremely unhealthy way for him to be dealin’ with this…” you said quietly. He shrugged his shoulders and huffed out a breath, his expressions saying nothing more than it is what it is. 

Another bang and more loud sing-shouting bellowed off the walls again, and you decided you’d had it. You yanked the door open, and made your way out into the shop, seeing Jake looking a complete and total mess as he dipped his head low inside the belly of Valor. A cigarette rested between his lips as both of his hands disappeared deep down in the engine. 

“Ain’t it unsafe to have an open flame that close to motor oil?!” You yelled, grabbing his attention. He perked up, his eyes a deep dark black that you hadn’t seen before. There was a scowl on his face and his nostrils flared when he looked at you, absolutely absorbed in the hatred and madness he must be currently full of. “Why are you out here makin’ all this racket?” You yelled over the music. 

He pulled the cigarette from his mouth, throwing it to the floor and stomping it out as the smoke drifted from his lips. “None of your fuckin' business.” You watched as his eyes glanced toward Danny’s room. “Get back in there and let your boyfriend serenade you to sleep.” He slurred, pulling a socket wrench from his kit. 

“Agh!” You had a knee-jerk reaction to his words. “He’s not my boyfriend…” you crossed your arms across your chest. Who the fuck does he think he is?

Jake raised his hands into the air. “Whatever! Don’t care!” He shoo’d you away with a flick of his wrist, and buried his face back into the engine, screaming the words loudly again. “Here I gooooo, on the road again!”

You decided that seeing him like this, for the reason he was like this, wasn’t going to fly if you had anything to do with it. You stomped over to the other side of the hood, standing until he felt you watching. 

“God damnit!” He yelled, dropping the tool to the floor beneath the car. When he stood back up he met your eyes again. He reached down beside his foot, pulling up a large glass bottle of liquor, taking it straight to the head. 

A handle of Maker’s. He had gone to the liquor store earlier…but where did he get the cash for something like that…? 

Oh, fuck. The fifty you saw him shove in his pocket. With the red X over Grant. 

“You used my goddamn money to buy that, didn’t you?” You spat as he swallowed, wiping the excess drips from his chin with the back of his dirty hand. “The fifty you had earlier, you took it and spent it on this?!” You were enraged. He was supposed to be using that to buy your parts. 

“Again, it’s none of your fuckin' business, Y/N!” He was spitting and slurring his words, his face red with anger and drunkenness.

“No, it is my business! That’s my money you’re drinking away right now! That’s so fucked, Jake!” You were yelling at him now. “What do you think, I’m just gonna slide you an extra fifty for your trouble?!”

He snarled his nose up, taking another swig. “Screw you, Y/N. Get the fuck out of my face.”

You stepped toward him now, your entire body raging with madness that you just couldn’t qualm. “Why don’t you yell at me, Jake. Huh? Yell at me. Take it out on me, instead of the void. You want something to be mad at? Try me…” you hit yourself in the chest a couple times, trying to get him to have the reaction you were hoping for, probably looking mighty intimidating standing there barefoot in nothing but Danny’s t-shirt. 

He stepped back away from you. “What? Why…”

“Jake, almost half of the bottle is gone. Did you go somewhere and drink before you came back? Why are you—“

“Y/N, nobody fuckin' asked for the twenty questions. Can you go the fuck back to Daniel and let me do this?! Please.” He ignored you again, and if you didn’t know any better, you’d say that he had tears welling in his eyes. There was a long pause in the conversation. He just needed to talk…

“What if I don’t want to?” You said, your voice as meek as possible over the volume of the radio. 

That confused him. “What if I want to stay here and help you?”

“You can’t help me, Y/N.” His face fell as he slammed a wrench back into the top drawer of the kit. “Nobody can.”

“Can you let me try?” You pleaded. 

He looked directly at you, and you watched as his face softened a bit. He shrugged his shoulders and let them fall again before taking another big swig of the liquor. You leaned in, yanking the bottle from his hand, tilting it back and taking a long shot, yourself. You winced as the hot liquor went down your throat before leaning your elbows down on the panel of the car, looking down inside it at what he was working on. Thankfully a slower, quieter song had come across the radio. 

“Now, what are we dealing with, here?” You asked, hoping he’d catch the double entendre. “Tell me all about it…”

He replaced his dirty hands back down into the front end, twisting something loose as he cleared his scratchy throat. 

“It’s been seven years. Seven years today.” He said quietly as his Adam’s apple bobbed. 

“Seven years since…?”

“Since my dad…died.” He was biting his cheeks in over and over. 

“What happened, Jake?” You leaned in a little closer, brushing some dust off the top of the engine. 

Jake leaned back, reached into his pocket and pulled out a few sheets of folded up notebook paper, dirty and torn from being in the hands and pocket of a mechanic. You took it gently from his hand, and slowly opened it. 

‘April 22, 1975’. You read to yourself before scanning the rest of the hand-written note. You felt your heart sink as the words clicked in your mind. 

“Jake, is this?”

“My dad’s suicide note. Yeah. Wrote it seven years ago today.” He replied, turning a socket wrench over and over as he avoided eye contact with you. “Left it for me on my nightstand while I was asleep.”

Your heart began pounding in your chest. Fuck. You hadn’t realized that was how he passed. You swallowed hard before even trying to speak again. “So you…you found him?” 

Jake brought the bottle to his lips again, swallowing it down before passing it to you. You tilted it up, and did the same. He nodded, barely any movement in his body now. “Yeah.” His eyes were blank as they stared at the block in front of him. 

You took a chopped breath. Maybe…maybe he just needs to get it out…hell. You were no psychologist.

Finally you spoke barely above a whisper. “Where was he?”

Jake was biting the sides of his cheeks in hard, his gaunt face pulled into itself as the dark circles shadowed even more in the dim light. His eyes looked dead into yours, deep and blank, before flicking up to the ceiling behind you, then back to yours. 

You turned around slowly following his line of vision, seeing the high exposed rafter in the lofted ceiling. 

Fucking hell. 

You turned back, your eyes closed as your hands found your face, tears fighting to spring out as the image of the rafter sat burned in your brain. Jesus. 

“Jake, I-I’m so…I didn’t mean for you to have to think about that again, that must have been…” you could hardly find the words to apologize, to empathize with him, with what he must have gone through that day, finding his dad like that. Gone through every day since. There were no words. There never would be any words. “I’m so sorry, Jake. Truly.”

“S’okay. In the past, now. What’s done is done.” He shrugged, nipping the bottle again. 

“But you were just a kid, Jake…”

“Yeah, I was. Not a damn clue in the world. Had to do the growin’ up a man does in twenty years that very day.” You watched as a tiny tear escaped the outside corner of his eye, and he quickly wiped it away. “Left me with absolutely fuckin' nothin except a couple thousand dollars, that note, this fuckin' shit hole building, and every bad debt he ever had. But I had Danny with me. And Bubba. Danny was only…only fourteen.”

You felt your heart physically breaking into a million pieces for him, for both of them, thinking back to them being young teenagers and having to deal with that basically on their own…

“I’m glad you had them with you.” You agreed. 

He nodded, his eyes turning red. “Don’t know what I would’ve done if Danny wasn’t here. Hell, his voice had barely even changed and he was helping me plan our dad’s funeral after he got home from school. But you know, he never even faltered. Kid took care of me better than I took care of myself those few weeks after. Forced me to eat, kept my mind busy…” you watched as he replayed the memories, probably running through them all in his head like watching them on an old projector screen. 

“He basically kept the shop running while I stayed away from the world in my bedroom. I don’t even…” he shook his head as he collected himself. “People brought us food, Bubba was here every single day making sure we were okay…but Danny did it all. I don’t even know how he did it, he was a baby. Fuckin' workhorse…always has been.”

He took a second to rub his dirty hands over his tired eyes. “I don’t…we don’t have anybody, Y/N. No family at all.”

You reached out and cupped your hand over his, squeezing it hard as you let him talk. “Danny’s your brother.” 

“In everything but blood.” He licked his lips, turning his hand over to hold yours back. You smiled, letting him know you were still here to listen, if he wanted to continue…even if it was just the whiskey giving him confidence. 

“So you basically raised Danny, after that…” you relented. 

He shrugged his shoulders in agreement. “Yeah, I guess, kinda. I dropped out of school right before graduation, but. Made sure he made it through senior year and all that. Honestly he raised me more than I did him, if I think about it.” He smirked a little. “We learned it all together.”

His eyes completely closed and he leaned his entire body weight down on his elbows. “Teddy…Teddy was uh, in love with my mom…before I was born.” His eyebrows raised and he laid more information out on the table for you. 

“What?!” 

He swigged the bottle again. “Yup. S’why he hated my dad so much. They were both vying for her at the same time…guess Ace swept her off her feet somehow.”

“Is that why he hates you so badly?” You were starting to put the pieces together. “He sees your mom in you?”

He nodded again. “Exactly. He’s still punishing me for what my dad did to him. Or my mom, whatever. I never asked for details. That’s why he’s still after me for my dad’s money. Still heartbroken and fucked up over somethin’ that went down before I was even born. The son of a bitch.”

“That’s not fuckin' fair, Jake.”

“Preachin’ to the choir, babe.” He clicked his tongue and sent you a wink.

He squeezed your hand a few times before releasing it, and walked over to plop himself down in one of the dirty lawn chairs against the wall of the shop. You followed suit, sitting beside him in the other chair as you curled your legs up and pulled Danny’s shirt over your knees. 

“Tell me about Ace. Was he a funny guy?” You asked, trying to get him through his anguish. He grinned a little, hastily wiping his eyes again. 

“Yeah, when he wanted to be. He was always full of dumb jokes and one-liners. But he stayed quiet most of the time, buried himself in his work. Till things went south with my mom, they got into drugs for a little bit. Nothing too serious but enough to count. My dad stepped away from it but mom didn’t. Then she just…disappeared. Before I was even out of diapers. Haven’t heard from her since.”

“What’s her name?”

“Stella.”

He took a deep breath. “You don’t have to sit out here and talk to me, ya know. I’m a fuckin' drunk mess. And I ain’t real sorry about it.”

You smirked. “Hey, just keepin’ you company.” You tilted the bottle back again, almost choking on it when it hit you. “Oh my god, Jake…the other day you said Ace died the day before your eighteenth birthday, that means…tomorrow is your birthday…?”

He nodded. “Yep. The big 2-6, I guess.”

Fuck. Now you understand why. His rage makes sense…

“Well that means we gotta have you a party!” You squealed, standing from the chair. 

“No no no, it’s just another day. I don’t need no party.” You grabbed his filthy hands, standing to your feet and bringing him with you. 

“Birthdays are the most important day of the year, silly!” You started dancing around to ’Cinnamon Girl’ as it blared from Danny’s speaker high on the shelf, holding Jake’s hands as you spun yourself around. “I saw your Neil Young poster on the wall, I know you love him. Come on, dance with me, birthday boy!” You couldn’t help but to try and act and candidly as you could, anything to try and make him feel just a little bit better on the anniversary of the worst day of his life. Even if it was just making him smile for a second. 

“You see us together, chasing the moonlight, my cinnamon girlllllll.” You sang out loud. 

Which you did, kind of. He grinned a bit and rolled his eyes at you, his sticky hands gripping just the very ends of your fingertips. You didn’t know if Danny knew what you were doing out here, but you didn’t really care if he did. It was his best friend’s birthday, for Christ sake. And no one even cared. 

Jake was stumbling around, his eyes heavily hooded and red. You realized maybe the alcohol had hit him when you stood him up so fast. He stepped his feet around a little bit, hardly much of a dance at all while you swung his arms around. It did manage to bring a little bit of a smile to his face, though. 

“I do love Neil Young, you’re right. And I’m impressed you know this song.” He chuckled. “Hmm, I’m fuckin' drunk though, too. Sleepy.” He said as you dropped his hands back to his sides. “Think I’m gonna go crash out.” He looked at you through one eye, and you realized how drunk he really was. 

“Shit, are you gonna be sick?” You asked. 

“No no, just sleep. Wan’ ma bed.” He mumbled, walking over to the shop sink to wash his dirty hands. 

“Okay, let me walk you.” You offered as he finished, walking backwards as you pulled him along toward his bedroom. 

When you got inside you flicked the light on, watching as Jake kicked his coveralls, jeans, and boots off as he waddled through the room. My god, his thigh tattoo, you hadn’t seen it up close, fuck…it was a dragon. Big and black and blue with fire coming from its mouth leading directly to…

He threw himself onto the mattress, his pile of freshly-washed sheets still laying a mess on top. 

“Mmm, they smell so good I just wanna…” he curled his arms and legs up in them, wrapping up like a cocoon as he buried himself in them. 

You laughed. “Is this what having clean sheets does to a man?!”

“They’re still kinda warm from the dryer, Y/N! Come feel, come here…” he reached his hand out, pulling you down into the bed with him. You bounced a couple times from the force, but you landed directly in his arms, face to face as you ended up tangled in the sheets with him. 

“See? Still warm, aren’t they?!” He was like a giddy school kid, but what he didn’t notice was how close your faces were. You could smell the heavy liquor emanating through his pores, on his breath, and swirling through the air, but his hand that pulled you down never let go. It gripped hard on yours as you laid beside him, both of you staring at each other, feeling each other’s chests rise and fall as your heart rate skyrocketed. 

Suddenly you felt the light touch of his other hand barely grazing across your back. “Are you still scared of me?” He asked, his voice hollow and needy. 

You thought a second, realizing that if you were truly scared of him, you wouldn’t have faced the monster he was, head-on earlier. By yourself in your panties, at that. 

“No.” You said simply, and that was the truth.

The corners of his lips tilted up just slightly as he whispered. “Good.”

You got ahold of yourself, turning your face away as you fought the demons that began circling in your mind, being this close to him. 

“I know what I want for my birthday.” He slurred, rolling his head into his pillow. 

“What’s that?”

“You ta’ read me more Maya poems.” His eyes were already closing as his words barely slipped out. You knew it wouldn’t be long. You were getting tired, yourself. You reached to his nightstand where your book still sat, opening to a passage of one of your favorites. 

You began reading out loud, just louder than a whisper, watching as his eyes drifted closed, his pink lips mouthing the words right along with you. 

And without even knowing it you fell asleep there, curled up in his pile of sheets, one hand on your book, and the other wrapped up in Jake’s. 

—

JAKE POV

Even through your drunken slumber you could hear the pounding on the door. Your eyes blinked open, trying to register if it was really happening or if you were dreaming. Surely you had to be as you looked over and saw Y/N asleep next to you. She was here, in your bed, with you. Your hand rested on the skin of her stomach and you could hardly tear your eyes away from her as you took in the way she felt beneath your hand. You wanted to pull her close, smell her hair, let your fingers glide over her skin, but instead you heard the knocking on the front door continue. She began to stir from the noise, rolling to face you as you realized you needed to get up. 

You pulled the blankets off of your body, your eyes searching furiously for where your gun ended up, finally catching sight of it on the dresser. You grabbed it, and bolted through your bedroom door to find out who the fuck was knocking on your door at four in the morning. You cocked your gun, and held it behind your back as you unlocked the front door, pulling it open slightly to see who it was. Bubba? The fuck?

You pulled the door open more, “What’s wrong?” you asked in a panic. This was unlike him. He never showed up like this unless something was wrong. Your eyes glanced behind him, scanning for anything out of the ordinary. 

“You got that girl here, son?” he asks, raising a brow. 

You furrow your brows and shift your weight into your hip, “Yeah, she’s here.”

“Good. Keep ‘er here. Don’t let ‘er outta your sight. Ain’t safe for ‘er.” he warns, quietly. 

“Joey was sniffin’ around up here earlier today, askin’ questions and shit. Asked where she was, so we went and got her from the motel. She’s not goin’ back. I knew he was up to some shit.” you answer, setting your gun down on the table by the door. 

“I don’t know what exactly is goin’ down over at Teddy’s but, might be best for her to just lay low here for a while. You boys don’t let them snatch that girl, whatever you do, you hear?” he says, crossing his arms. “That’s not why I’m here though.” 

“Alright, why are you here…” you ask, wondering what couldn’t wait until the morning. 

“Got a meeting set up for you two, ‘round 3 o’clock tomorrow. Down at the old sawmill.” he answers with a gleam in his eye.

“A meeting? The fuck kind of meeting Bubba?” you ask defensively. “Three’s in the middle of the work day, I don–”

“Yer gonna wanna take this meeting, son, promise yeh.” he nods. “Just trust me. You and Daniel better go. Don’t make me look bad, boy.”

“What should we expect?” You asked. 

Bubba stepped forward, placing his hand directly on your shoulder. “Just trust me.”

“Shit, alright.” you say, letting out an exasperated sigh. “Thanks.”

“Get you some rest.” he says, tipping his chin and heading back to his car. 

The hell…

You shut the door and lock it behind you, grabbing your gun from the table, and heading towards Daniel’s room. You rap your knuckles against the door, before twisting the handle, but as you push the door, he pulls it open. “Who the fuck was that?” he asks, a slight panic in his voice.

“Bubba.”

“The fuck does he want at four in the morning?” he questions, resting his hands on the door frame. 

“He set up a meeting for us tomorrow out behind the old Willits Sawmill. No fuckin' idea what for, but said we need to be there. 3 o’clock.” you answer. 

“A meeting?”

“S’what he said. I don’t fuckin' know…” you quip.

“Whatever, we can deal with it in the morning. Where’s Y/N?” he asks, looking down the hallway. 

You run your tongue over your teeth as you huff out an answer, “My bed.”

He raises his eyebrows, “In your bed…” he pauses, hardening his jaw, “Why’s that…”

You shake your head, and look past him for a second, before letting your eyes meet his, “Why don’t you let her tell you in the morning. Get some sleep, sounds like we’ve got a long day tomorrow.” you say, clapping your hand against his back with a smug grin. 

He narrows his eyes at you, and shuts his door as you step across the hallway to your room. As you open the door you see her sitting on the edge of the bed, her knees pulled up to her chest as she picks the skin on her thumb. “What’s going on? What’s happening?” she asks nervously.

You step into the room, shutting the door behind you before placing your gun on your nightstand. She just stares at you waiting for you to answer as you let out a deep sigh. You motion for her to get back into the bed, watching as she scoots back over to the other side, letting you slide back in where you were. You pull the clean smelling blankets back up around your shoulders before grabbing her waist and pulling her close to you. You settle your head on your pillow, finally able to breathe in the scent of her hair as the words fall out of your lips in a quiet whisper, “Nothing you need to worry about tonight…”

Her body relaxes beneath your arm, and you let your eyes close, feeling the warmth of her skin against yours. Maybe birthdays weren’t so bad after all.  

—

DANNY POV

You rolled the creeper from beneath the old GMC as you heard the garage door shut and two pairs of feet shuffling across the bay. “Well, here we are again…Like deja vu.” you quip, cutting your eyes to Y/N, as she approaches. 

You pull yourself up to meet her as Jake opens his tool kit across the bay. You let your eyes linger on him for a minute before flicking them back to Y/N.  “Thought you’d be back last night…”

She drops her shoulders and lets out a defeated sigh, “I know. I know, I was trying, I swear, but…” she pauses, looking over her shoulder at Jake, who was now in his own little world beneath the hood of the Chevy. “I went out to talk to him last night, right? Well he kinda…opened up to me a little bit, told me about his dad… about his mom…” she says, a slight lilt in her voice. “He was so drunk Danny, he even cried a little bit.” she said, almost a whisper. 

“I know. I peeked out and saw the two of you talking. Talking more than he’s talked in years. Figured I'd let him get it out. Think he needed it.” you answer truthfully.

“You saw?” she asks, and you nod your head in response. 

“Anyways, I just wanted to make sure he made it to his bed, that’s all. Asked me to just stay and talk a little more and I fell asleep. I had no idea it was the anniversary of his dad’s death. No wonder he was so messed up. Oh– and it’s his birthday today. Did you know that?” she asks. 

Oh shit, you forgot. “Oh, um, yeah I guess you’re right it is. Usually we don’t do anything. Kinda just another day around here.”

“Just another day?” she asks, face painted with shock. “Danny that’s so…That’s so sad. I wish there was something I could do…” she says with sad eyes. 

Your eyes flicked over to Jake and you caught him, seeing him flick his head up in acknowledgement, a small smile on his face. You look back at her, resting your hand on her small shoulder, “Baby, I think you did...” both of you turning to see him gently singing along with the music playing through the speakers. 

—

“So this meeting…” you start, leaning on the frame of the Chevy. Jake turns to you, setting down his tools. “Yeah, at three.”

“I was thinking, we can’t leave her here, right? Like, what if this is just a set up to get her alone?” you ask, picking the dirt from under your nails.

“Yeah I considered that. Think we’ll have to bring her with just to be safe. She can wait in the truck.” he says, pushing off the frame of the car. You follow him through the bay as he rifles through his kit in search of another tool. 

“I can take the bike, you two take the truck. Do we even know what this meeting is about?” you ask. 

“Nah, Bubba didn’t say, but I trust ‘em. S’only got our best interest, ya know.” he replies, snatching the tool from the box and walking back over to the truck. 

“I think we need to be prepared for any scenario…” you say with the raise of your eyebrows. 

“Well fuckin' obviously. No clue what we’re gonna tell Y/N though.”

“Shit, hopefully this isn’t some stupid fuckin' setup. What we got like an hour?” you ask. 

“Yeah. About. Think we should clean up, or…” he asks, turning to you.

“I mean, we could, but s’not really us, huh?” you laugh, placing your hand on his shoulder, “Hey, happy birthday brother.”

He tightens his lips and nods his head as he looks to the floor, “Ahh, thanks man. Twenty-six. Seems old.” he laughs. 

“Nah, not really, we still got a lot of livin’ left to do.” you smile, watching as he nods his head and his eyes flick over to Y/N who is lounging in a folding chair out front. 

“She was worried ‘bout you last night.” you press, hoping to hear his thoughts. 

“Yeah, came out here guns a-blazin’ and didn’t falter for a second. Talked for a bit, drank too fuckin’ much. Woke up and she was in my bed.” he says, and you feel a little relieved.

You smirk and raise an eyebrow, “She’s a sweet lil thing.”

He scoffs a laugh at you. “Guess you got to find that out for sure when I left last night, huh? Had yourselves a good ol’ time in my absence…saw your shirt must’ve been the closest thing she could grab when I got home.”

You bit your lips in, nodding as you went. “She’s fuckin’ phenomenal, man. Like, I didn’t expect that…” 

He laughed again, blushing a little. “No, she seems like a good girl. Feel like shit for all the hell we’re puttin’ her through.” he admits, wiping his hand on the rag in his back pocket. 

“You order those parts?” you ask, genuinely curious. 

“Yeah, should be here in a week or two.” he nods, leaning on the frame of the truck. 

“Make any headway with Val?” you wonder, seeing it still sitting uncovered. He shakes his head, “Nah, the old bitch still givin’ me a run for my money.”

“One of these days we’ll crack ‘er.” you say, giving him one last pat on the shoulder before returning to your side of the garage. 

—

You stand in the doorway of the truck, watching her buckle her seatbelt as Jake slides into the driver’s seat. “Listen, we aren’t really sure what’s about to go down, but just stay in the truck, lay low, and if shit goes south, get on the floorboard. Alright?” you ask, letting your thumb swipe over her cheek. She nods her head and you tip your chin, turning to head towards your bike. 

The door shuts behind you and Jake pulls out of the driveway in a cloud of dust. You quickly jump on your bike, starting it with a roar, before following closely behind them. Your heart is pounding a little extra hard as you make your way to the old abandoned sawmill, completely unsure of what or who will be waiting there for you.

His truck slows as he pulls into the cracked and pot hot riddled lot, seeing a single car parked at the far end. It’s not a car you recognize from around here and that puts you on high alert. The hair on the back of your neck stands tall as Jake parks the truck, letting you pull up next to him. 

Y/N slinks down in the seat, trying her best to stay out of sight, as Jake steps out of his truck, slamming his door shut. You lean your bike on the kickstand and walk towards him, both of you sending each other a concerned look. “Recognize it?” you murmur under your breath. 

“Nah.” he says, reaching back into his belt to cock his gun. You do the same, hoping it won’t come to that, but around here it wouldn’t be unheard of. 

The two of you walk through the crunching pavement over towards the dark green GMC Sprint, seeing a man resting against the driver’s door. He hears you approaching and pushes off the car turning to face you. The sun is in your eyes as you catch sight of his face, distorting his features until you get a little closer. You notice the car is still running, despite him not occupying it, and that too, makes you uneasy.

“Was at the poker game.” you whisper. 

“Sure was.” Jake replies, stepping up to the man. 

“Hello fellas.” the man says with a smirk. “Glad you could make it.”

“Yep, what uh– what can we do for ya?” Jake asks, with his hands on his hips. 

“Well boys, to be frank with you, I’d like to make a proposition to you.”

“You were at the game the other night. Haven’t seen you ‘round here before.” You say, crossing your arms against your chest. 

“You’re right, I was. Names Oscar, but you can call me Oz.” he says, extending his hand to shake. You stare at it for a minute in contemplation before reaching towards him and shaking his hand. Jake follows, introducing himself. 

“Oh I know who you boys are. Heard all about yehs.” he smiles.

“Heard about what?” you ask, narrowing your eyes. 

“Heard you two were some fighters.” he says, tipping his head. 

“Fighters?” Jake asks, shaking his head. 

“S’what word on the street is. Figured I’d stop in to see for myself. Talked to some folks ‘round town, told me ‘bout your little poker games, and wouldn’t you know I got what I asked for. Saw the two of yeh’s on the side of the house.” he says, tightening his lips. 

“So what, doesn’t mean we’re fighters or whatever the fuck.” Jake quips, standing firm. 

“No son, I think that’s exactly what you are.” he retorts. “That’s why I asked your friend Bubba to arrange this little meetin’. Thought this could be beneficial for both of us.” 

“You gonna get to the point?” you ask, trying to hurry things along. 

He laughs a little under his breath, “I want you two come fight for me. You win, you get a portion of the winnins’.” he says, placing his hand in his pocket. He pulls out a stack of cash, easily five-hundred bucks. “Pay off that debt of yers real quick like.”

“Fight for you? The fuck does that mean?” Jake asks, staring at the money in his hand. 

“You ever heard of Vale Tudo?” he asks, both of you shaking your heads, a little unsure of this man's motives. 

“Alright, how ‘bout… No Holds Barred fightin’?”

“Yeah.” you answer quickly, earning you a nod from him. Of course you’d heard of it, you were practically raised on it.

“Well, somethin’ like that. Real private, underground type of settin’. Think up in those there bigger cities the folks call it ‘MMA’. Got people buyin’ in, bettin’ on these fights. We ain’t talkin’ no small buy in’s neither. This is big cash. Life changin’ money.” he says, raising a brow. 

“Been lookin’ for myself a few boys to travel ‘round.” he pauses. “I think you two got the grit, and the need.”

“The need…” Jake presses.

“I know that Teddy character, he ain’t never gonna let you get ahead. But son, this is yer chance.” 

“So, you want me and Jake to come…fight, and if we win said fights we get paid?” you ask, genuinely trying to piece this together. 

“Exactly. We can work out the details, but roughly, you travel ‘round to these hosted fights, you fight favorably, we both walk home with our pockets lined.” he says. 

“And how do we know, you’re trustworthy?” Jake asks. “I’ve got a life and a livin’ to make here. Bills lined up till kingdom come and they don’t pay themselves.”

“It’d be a fight here and there, every week or two with a rest period to recover yer health and bodies. Yeh’d have time at yer shop, so it’d be unsuspectin’. That’s the point son. Don’t want the heat findin’ out ‘bout it.” he says, and you start to feel uneasy. 

“Seems…I don’t know. Why us? There’s gotta be people better suited than us…” you barter.

“Well truthfully Daniel, I’ve had my eye on you since you was ‘bout 17. Heard ‘bout the fightin’ from some folks, kept an eye on yeh. And Jacob, I know you learned from ‘em. Watched yeh myself just the other night. Ye’ve got somethin’, and I’m willin’ to take a chance on you boys if you’re willin’ to take a chance on me. If it doesn’t work out, well, hell we tried, still let you two walk away with a few hundred each for yer troubles.”

You see Jake’s brow furrow, and you know he’s considering it. You know this debt is crippling the shop, the two of you barely scraping by every week. You know this could be your chance. The only other thing you’ve ever been good at. “We gotta decide right now?” you ask, sending him a questioning look. 

“No’sir. I’ll be in town ‘nother few days, got some outstanding business. First fight ain't for another week ‘er so over in Kirksville.” he says, reaching into his pocket again, pulling out a paper business card. Jake takes it from his fingers, reading over it before handing it to you. 

“Now, you fellas think this over, give me a call once you’ve come to a decision.” he says, tipping his head. “Oh, and, for what it’s worth…” he pauses, “These buy in’s… is in the thousands range. My last fighter took home 4 grand in one night, for 5 minutes effort. Just somethin’ to consider.” and with that he slides into his idling car.

As the car pulls off in a cloud of exhaust Jake turns to you, his jaw slack and his face riddled with shock and question. “What the fuck…What was that? Wh–What do we do?”

You turn to look at him, shoving your hands in your pockets, and sucking your teeth, “Sounds like we fight.”

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[prophecydungeon]

:EYES: gimme 1, 3, 10, 12, 16, 18, 22, 23, 24. :3c

How old were you when you started writing fic?

oh man.... it was the summer before 9th grade, so i think i must have been 13 or 14? that's the first time i sat down expressly thinking "i want to write a story about naruto where there's a GIRL with COOL POWERS and-", but then when i think back, i'm sure i probably scribbled down other similar "stories" about [insert media]. fanart For Sure came before fanfic for me.

3. What was your first fandom?

for the purposes of this Q i'm going to define one's first fandom as something i felt, like, Identifiably Fandomy feelings and experiences about (not just "omgggg i love pokemon lugia is my fave"), and that was, unsurprisingly, naruto.

HOWEVER, nart came to me on the heels of FMA, which i also definitely had fandomy feelings and experiences about, but nart was when i really dove into the whole fucking nine yards of early-aughts Fandom: AMVs, googling "cute sasuke pictures", printing shit out to put in my binder, baby's first yaoi (legitimately got a Talking To from a conservative christian friend about this, it was so goddamn funny), those animatics that people posted on deviantart, drawing soooo much fanart, and reading and writing Fan Fiction™ while actually calling it that.

10. Do you read your own fics for fun?

ABSOLUTELY!!!!!!!!! dude i reread my stuff ALL the time. especially when i'm at the point where i can't find anything that scratches the itch. i wrote that shit for me, of course i'm gonna reread it a million times.

12. Post a sentence from your current WIP

ok i lied i guess since we talked about it yesterday i will try to make this an active WIP so:

“If you chop my hands off,” Sanji threatens in Zoro’s low voice, jabbing an accusatory finger towards his own body, “I won’t just kill you. I’ll make you wish you bled out on the Baratie’s deck.”

16. What are your favorite characters to write?

i'm gonna take this as asking for a type of character rather than a list of names, so: i looooove writing POV characters who have every reason to misinterpret/misread what's happening, which is to say, i love an Outside POV character who doesn't catch on because why the fuck would they catch on. i've loved writing every outside POV fic i've written because i get to find ways for the POV character to reasonably not catch onto whatever fuckoffery is actually going on, albeit in different ways: hiyori doesn't like sanji because she's got no reason to believe The Bit is just a bit (girl i get it); the POV chars in the last two ficlets in this bleach collection genuinely have no frame of reference for what the fuck kind of creatures ichigo or grimmjow could be; if someone had told aunor flat-out "yeah shin malphur is also zyre orsa who is also dredgen vale and he's in some kind of situationship with the drifter" she would have laughed and fried them to cinders.

i could do this shit all day! it's all about finding a logical path for the POV char to figure out what is actually going on, at least to some degree, and then letting them deal with the fallout. (sorry, aunor.)

18. Is there some headcanon you've included in more than one fic?

yes, totally! i think Reishi Theory and adjacent bits and bobs is the most salient example; i think everything i've written for bleach has included some facet of our headcanons regarding how it all works. in general, my headcanons and interpretations tend to be pretty stable across fics, so if i've written more than one work for a fandom, there's probably some connecting thread.

22. Pick out a random line from a fic you're really proud of

from the blood of the covenant:

Sanji thinks: this is a ritual like everything Zeff has ever taught me. The purpose is in its existence. There's nothing unpragmatic about that.

this whole bit might be my favorite part of the fic, but this line(...s) in particular i like a lot; there's a lot of things in a lot of different disciplines that boil down to just being ritual, and that's a purpose of its own.

23. What's the most personal fic you've ever written?

ah....... i think in a roundabout way that goes to steam, fill, shape, share in ways that are pretty clear from the first paragraph. i project plenty throughout fics - really, what else is writing for - but this one was definitely personal.

24. What's the cringiest (affectionate) fic you've ever written?

answered!

[tearitar]

fic writer meme, for forfeit: 14, 17, 25 - and 7 for both blind offering & discount offering!

14. Talk about the fic’s opening scene & how you approached it

Haha, while I don't think I'm particularly good at writing opening scenes, I'm not exactly scared of it. I usually feel like I'm kicking a door in with my opening sentences. Hence, I immediately write "Drifter spends the night on Shin's ship." Extremely straight to the point. Then I go on about how HUH THAT'S WEIRD, AIN'T IT? Truly some classic exposition intro paragraph shit.

17. Talk about the fic’s ending. Why did you end it where you did?

god, thanks for following up with this from the first question. Because, like, so while I'm not scared of writing intros, I am often at my wit's end with endings, lol. With forfeit, I knew I wanted it to be a mutual break up fic, and Shim understanding the hows and whys of it. And I'm always thinking about how guardians are immortal and how it affects romantic relationships (falling outs/changing feelings), and both Shin and Drifter have lived for hundreds of years. These are guys that know how to break up, I bet, LMAO.

(Also I read your old comment on it and you've hit the nail on the head. It's less about yearning, more about knowing how things are. Again, with the immortality and just understanding that people can phase in and out of each others' lives.)

25. Share your favorite line

I have two:

Shin’s existence has only ever revolved around Palamon, Dwindler’s Ridge, and a circling ship made of bones. Drifter’s stretches beyond universes, tied to more than anyone knows. All the legends and secrets of the Renegade Hunter can’t compare.

and

Shin’s long stopped believing in things like Chosen Ones, but he’s always had a weakness for romanticism. It puts him in a complicated spot. He looks at Drifter and thinks — harbinger.

Brother, when it comes to Destiny, I fucking love writing lines about destiny(!!) and fate and cosmic forces. I go nuts. I love the combination of sci-fi and the implication of higher, uncontrollable forces. The contrast!!! And when it comes to Shin's POV, I treat it like it's an incredibly horny thing. And it is. To me. And speaking on contrasts, I think those two lines are pretty much the thesis of why I think Shin is in love with Drifter, or at least the idea of him, as a person and working clog in the universe. I bet shin likes to feel small sometimes, LOL.

25. How did you decide what character(s) would narrate the fic?

BASIA I'M PRETTY SURE WITH THE COMBO OF BOTH FICS YOU KNOW I DON'T ACTUALLY DECIDE ON WHICH POV TO WRITE FROM I SIMPLY WRITE TWO DIFFERENT FICS OF THE SAME PREMISE.

On a more serious note, I choose which POV gives me the most drama and fun. Though usually when I come up with a fic I have a line in my mind with a specific perspective it's from. For BO, I really wanted Drifter's POV on seeing Shin be seduced by a hologram. and also Shin being covered with fake drifter gore. For DO, it was obvious I wanted to do something from Shin's POV on the matter, haha.

[hypnotisedfireflies]

Can you rank your stories from your most to least favorite? Interested to know now there are so many.

HA.  Omg anon.  Okay.  This will be hard so you’re getting an explanation under each as to why it is where it is on my list. 💙

1. Drifter’s Dawn

It’s the OG and it’s the thing that got me writing again. There are parts I would like to improve but I think I’ll pretty well leave it alone.

2. Spite

I feel bad putting this above Dusk but Spite accomplished a lot that I didn’t include in Dawn and wish I had.  Plus I’m proud of the little arc across this story?  Of all the things I’ve written, stuff in Spite is stuff I most wish had found its way into Dawn (excepting that one chapter in The Knight of Cups which I did then include in Dawn).

3. Drifter’s Dusk

First time writing Joel’s POV, plus Tess lives, blah blah blah.

4.  The Knight of Cups

So loved writing for Tommy and being able to examine Tessjoel from an outsider POV.  I also liked being able to extend the early days which I feel I rushed over in retrospect in Dawn, like the learning to shoot stuff, the caravan of people and the graveyard, etc.  This is kind of the stuff I most want to go back and write more of when I get the chance.  It’s quite a narrow period of time really, but I would like to explore it some more.

5.  Cassius blue

This is my least-read story which could be down to it being only two chapters?  But I like that it was just Tessjoel for the majority of it and I got to get inside Joel’s head at kind of a crucial time in their story, when he really started to drift away from Tess and become the Joel we see in TLOU.  You know, they’re somewhere they’re kind of safe, Tess doesn’t “need” him and he can wilfully or subconsciously disconnect to torment himself with the past.   This couldn’t really get much of a look-in in Dawn because it was all Tess's POV.  I also liked writing Sarah for the first time and making nature kick their asses.

6.  Blood Orange

Got to play with a different narrative style and that was fun.  Wrote this one totally different to everything else in that I basically wrote the chapters out of order and rearranged it – blocks of text and action into other chapters, etc.  Also it’s fun writing Tess fucking up.

7.  Shots Fired!

I really meant the whole prompt thing to be works of about this length but I prefer longer-form so this is likely to remain the shortest work at 8k.  Anyway, I was happy with being able to accomplish a lot in a shorter amount of words, ie, Tess realising she has family blah blah blah.  Also establishing some stuff with Ellie.

8.  The Last Day on Earth

I don’t hate this or anything, it was just a pain in the ass to write and the least enjoyable for that reason, but I am fine with the finished product.

Snowqueen of Texas and the Ensemble aren’t finished so they don’t get ranked yet.

Thanks for your question anon – I’d love to hear readers’ rankings of this series so far, too!

[flowers-of-io]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you’ve written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💗

Tagged by the lovely @eri-223​. I decided to only include finished fics here because while I *am* screaming incoherently about Book in every waking hour, it’s hard to compare things that are their own complete entities to stories yet unfinished.

nothing’s fair in love and war - Oryx & Savathûn. One of my most recent children, born from that one Wellspring quote and figured out over the sandwich table. It has all the good stuff--Books of Sorrow, sibling swordfight, the inevitability of fate, and even a theme song that I’m still unwell about the lyrics of! It was such a pained delight to write, because prior to WQ we hadn’t really hadmuch insight on Savathun’s relationship with her brother, then we suddenly got the statue, the Temple, and of course the quote I could not shake for days upon hearing. By far my favourite thing in this fic is the affectionate holding your sibling at knifepoint and laughing, that viscerality of steel on skin, that plainless of love at the edge of a blade.

Visions of Confluence - first VoG fireteam. This was a very fun exercise written for last summer’s Project Exodus challenge. I liked playing with the repetitions and switching details, going for that eerie feel of ‘it’s almost the same but slightly off kilter, there’s another set of footsteps next to mine but I remember only coming here alone’, glass refracting time like beams of light. Plus, Alemyr!

Blood - Asher & Eris. A Destcember prompt I really went to town with. It’s soft, it’s bittersweet, it’s fragments strewn across time with a quote from Landscape slapped onto the label, it’s found family in the literal sense.

Cats and Dogs - Drifter & Eris. Oh, this was my folly born from the idea of “could there technically be Hive who escaped the fate of having a worm put inside them?” and instead of writing some serious speculative fiction I wrote... this. Again, all the good stuff--humour! bickering coworkers! cute small creatures! yellow Hive goo! This is one of my very few bright & happy fics, and even here I managed to slip a bit of Eris’ PTSD.

Blooming gardens - Another Destcember prompt that’s so niche and weird probably like five people have ever read it, and it holds a special place in my heart because here I went so off the hook with my Afterlife In Destiny, Actually theory (plus: first recorded mention of the Song of Life in my fic!). I’m thinking about revamping it, maybe changing the pov to 2nd person, now that I’ve been playing around with more Traveler/Gardener stuff. Though it was really hard to pick a favourite out of that year’s prompt set (Heresy and Roses & Thorns are so very dear to me too), this one is definitely the most special.

Tagging @xazz, @shadowtriad, @euxiom, @wonderwafles, @a-driftamongopenstars and @allteacher! If you’ve already done it and I’m double-tagging you I’m sorry lol.

[crackedoutgiraffe]

To the Moon and Back

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16

A/N: Chapter 17

When you went into work the next monday, you learned that Emily was accepting a job to work for London’s interpol office. She said that that Monday was her last day. Later that week, she moved to London. Garcia and Morgan went on a last minute trip there to help her settle in and to see how she was doing. While they were gone, the team got called to a case in Seattle. That was when you met Emily’s replacement. 

“Agent Blake, this is David Rossi, Jennifer Jareau, Spencer Reid, and Y/N Y/L/N,” Hotch introduced everyone, “Derek Morgan and Penelope Garcia are in London.”

The case in Seattle was difficult to say the least. The day after you got back, you and Reid entered the bull pen to see Morgan and Garcia with numerous bags. “Hi! Hey! You guys are back. Hi,” you gave Penelope a hug and then went to give Morgan one as well.

“Oy, mates,” she said in a british accent. “Give me a squeeze.” 

“Oh, you guys look great,” you smiled.

“Cheers. How's it going?” Reid asked, returning Garcia’s hug. Morgan held his hand out for a fist bump and Reid shook it. “How's Emily doing?”

“Brilliant and lovely,” Garcia was adamant about using a british accent.

“Her apartment's off the chain,” Morgan added.

“You mean her flat,” She corrected. “You have to take a shaky old lift to get to the top, but the view is brilliant. For my favorite bloke,” Garcia handed a mug to Reid

“Hey, I love it! Thank you!” Reid accepted the gift with a smile.

Garcia handed you a miniature double-decker bus, “Thanks.”

“How was temporary duty?” Reid asked.

“Oh, it was around the clock. I thought I'd get a little more of a vacation, but…” Morgan shrugged.

“Did you watch the Olympics at all? I did see a little track and field, but the queen bee here,” Morgan gestured to Penelope, “she saw everything. Emily is for real hooked up over there.”

“She sends her love. And tea of the month starts next week,” Garcia pointed out. 

“Ohh. I miss her,” you frowned.

“Don't even get me started,” Garcia smiled. “Hey, how's the noob? Is she nice?” 

“Yeah, she is,” you nodded.

“I'm just asking,” She said in a hushed tone. “Reid, do you know when she was recruited she was 24?”

“I've guest lectured in her forensic linguistics class before,” Reid nodded.

“Of course you have, 'cause she's a professor and an agent, which is so impressive,” she scoffed.

“No, really, she's great,” you insisted.

“And driven, clearly. Berkeley grad, double major, Bureau star of the Unabomber case,” Garcia started to ramble. “And she teaches at Georgetown. When she's not doing that, she's SSAing at the Washington Field Office, and she's a Ph. D. Does that mean I have to call her doctor?” Everyone looked at her weird. “What?! I did some research on her 'cause I couldn't sleep on the plane. And my point is, clearly, she is smart and capable, but is she nice? Oh, dear God, this is happening, where I talk and the person is behind... Me,” Garcia turned around slowly to see the newest Agent standing behind her.

“The origin of ‘nice’ is 12th century middle English, meaning foolish or stupid. I hope you're referring to the modern use of the adjective. You must be Penelope. I'm Alex Blake,” she held her hand out for a handshake.

“Nice to meet you. Really, actually nice in the nicest of ways nice,” Garcia looked mortified.

“I'm Derek Morgan,” He shook the newest Agent’s outstretched hand.

“Welcome back,” she smiled

“How was Seattle?” Morgan asked.

“The unsub made Ridgeway look like a saint,” Blake said with a small laugh. “He even used his own kid to bait the victims.”

“Well, we've seen that before. No doubt we'll see it again,” Morgan smiled.

“Don't unpack,” Rossi said as he entered the bull pen followed by Hotch.

“Garcia, the files,” Hotch directed.

“Yeah. The files. Oh, God,” Garcia mumbled as she walked to her office.

That was everyone’s queue to head to the conference room.

“This week we are going to Mobile, Alabama,” Hotch started. “Four women have been found in dumpsters. They were all drifters, so we have no IDs for any of them.”

You examined the case file in front of you, “They were all missing their toes?” you asked.

“That’s oddly specific,” Blake responded.

“It’s very unusual,” Reid spoke up. “Most of the time unsubs will remove fingers, but not toes.”

The team quickly went through their ideas for the case and got on the plane. The plane ride was like all the others, quiet. Everyone did their own thing. When you arrived in Alabama it was really muggy. Blake was very helpful during the case. You two were the ones to apprehend the unsub. His name was Jacob Barkley. He hated men with foot fetishes, so he took it out on women who had feet. You, Reid, Morgan, and JJ played poker on the way home. 

***

The next six months were more of the same. Case after case. Your relationship with Reid progressed to the point where he asked you to move in with him. You did not hesitate to say yes. Morgan came over the next weekend to help you and Reid pack all your stuff. Everyone at the office was very supportive of your relationship. The only problem Hotch and Strauss had was that if either of your performances suffered, one of you would be transferred. You made sure neither of you needed to be transferred. 

There was one week without cases, so the whole team hung around the office and did paperwork. 

“We should all go on vacation together,” Reid announced.

“That would be fun,” JJ agreed.

“Everyone could bring their families and stuff,” Morgan looked at JJ.

You lifted your head from your desk, “I know a really affordable place in Florida, it’s right on the beach.”

“When would we go?” Blake asked.

“Could we plan for three months from now?” Reid proposed.

A chorus of ‘yes’ and ‘I’m in’ rung through the office. Reid got up and went to Hotch’s office and then to Rossi’s.

“They’re in,” He announced.

“I’m going to need numbers of everyone going,” 

“I’m one,” Morgan said as he stood up.

“I’m three,” JJ added.

“I’m one,” Blake said.

Hotch came out of his office. “I’m three.”

“I’m one,” Rossi shouted from his office.

“Garcia is one,” Morgan said as he reentered. 

“And then I’m two,” you wrote. “We need… 2 big rooms and 5 smaller rooms.”

“Morgan can I talk to you for a second,” Reid stood up and walked toward the door.

SPENCER’S POV

“What’s up?” Morgan asked as we walked out of the bull pen and down the hall.

“I want to propose to her, and I need your help,” I whispered.

“What do you need?” he smiled.

[beelas-bees-art]

10% Left AU rambles

Allegiances

(Sun Molly- Trans Female)

(Moon Tom- Trans Male)

(Legend- Nonbinary)

Thunderclan

Leader: Squirrelflight (Sun Molly)

Deputy: Cloudtail (Tom)

Medicine Cat:

Warriors: Poppyfrost (Molly)

Toadstep (Tom)

Queens:

Kits: Seedkit (Molly)

Shadowclan

Leader: Shrewfoot (Sun Molly)

Deputy: Applefur (Molly)

Medicine Cat:

Warriors:

Queens:

Kits: Mistkit (Molly)

Spikekit (Tom)

Elders: Cedarheart (Tom)

Snaketail (Legend)

Riverclan

Leader: Troutstream (Legend)

Deputy: Minnowtail (Molly)

Medicine Cat: Mothwing (Sun Molly)

Willowshine (Molly)

Warriors:

Queens:

Kits: Havenkit (Tom)

Windclan

Leader: Gorsetail (Molly)

Deputy: Whiskernose (Moon Tom)

Medicine Cat:

Warriors: Leaftail (Tom)

Apprentices: Crouchpaw (Tom, Mentored by Gorsetail)

Cats Outside of the Clans:

Drifter (a black tom, lives in a barn by himself and has never seen another cat besides his mother)

Fuzzy (an older molly with a graying pelt, blind, abandoned by owners)

Bandit (a thieving ginger tom, steals prey from Windclan territory, lives in an abandoned fox den)

Misha (a half-siamese moon tom, a kittypet who wanders too close to Riverclan territory)

Dottie (a black and white kittypet molly with a bad home life)

Panda (a buff dark ginger, white and black molly, former kittypet, lives in Shadowclan territory)

*Two unamed kits* (a tom kit, brown tabby, and molly kit, sand-colored tabby, abandoned by mother)

Ari (energetic white loner legend, doesn't stay in one place too long)

Cosmo (blue-gray tom, lives on the gathering island, somewhat knows clan lifestyle)

OC central around here

Some things about the story:

There are 4 main characters (at least so far, I'm considering making an outside cat a POV) so we get different perspectives and clans

Crouchpaw of Windclan, a younger cat but not a kit. We see how he feels being the only apprentice left alive and how he gets closer to his mentor, Gorsetail.

Mothwing of Riverclan, one of the last two medicine cats alive. We see through an atheist's eyes and how she copes with the whole ordeal, truly believing that Starclan may exist but hates them for not helping.

Applefur of Shadowclan, one of the two remaining Dark Forest trainees left alive. She feels like an outcast in her own clan and she is the most fit for the leadership role, but not being trusted she only gets the deputy position.

Toadstep of Thunderclan, a weird choice for sure, an ordinary warrior with no ambition or family left plus the cat he was courting is gone too. But his cowardice is up to levels no cat saw coming plus he's in a prophecy?

There's no main villain in this story, only some small ones but if I had to pick it would be Starclan for sure. The lake cats have to learn how to forgive and trust Starclan after they left the clans to die

The 4 clans want to stay separate but need to come together as one for the time being, staying in the island together for convenience. But what should they do when cats from different clans start falling for one another?

I've given meanings to the names now, as it will be explained more as the story progresses (see Shrewfoot in chapter two). Thunderclan is a lot like the real Thunderclan, although family isn't too big a role.

Windclan asks respect from one another and they are all carefree hippies :))

Riverclan (as inspired by @/warriorsfireandwater) is like a big family, respect and titles aren't used too much around here.

Shadowclan is written Military-esque. Cats are admired for their footwork and marching, as well as command voice. This one will be fun to write (inspired by my time in my old high school's AFJROTC program)

Squirrelflight is able to pick up the leadership position easily, as learning from Firestar and Brambleclaw and selects Cloudtail as her deputy because of kinship and his rank. Cloudtail isn't into clan life as much and Toadstep covers deputy duty for him (wink wink)

Gorsetail reluctantly takes the leadership position, asking Leaftail too but he refuses both the leader and deputy spot. Gorsetail selects Whiskernose as her deputy (as hes the only choice left) and the young tom accepts it in a heartbeat.

Shrewfoot is selected leader by the higher ups (aka the elders) and makes Applefur her deputy. The elders ask her not to do so, even agreeing to come out of retirement, but Shrewfoot is convinced that Applefur will do great by her clan. Applefur is just relieved she wasn't run out of the forest.

Troutstream elects themself as the leader, but was firm about not letting Minnowtail have any position (the deputy position was given to her in secret by the medicine cats, so she's not officially deputy) Troutstream claims they'd rather have Havenkit or a piece of crowfood be deputy over Minnowtail.

There will definitely be romance throughout the story but I can't say anything now! To be honest, I'm not sure how it will end just yet!

[ladyshandioftheendless]

~KISS AU writings 14~

The addiction has been supplied, now to go chase that first high..

~Shandi

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~EXOTIC DANCER AU Part 4~

Featured Pairing: Bruce Kulick/Paul Stanley

Special Guest: Gene Simmons

Summary: After learning all he can from Gene, Bruce plans his next visit to the Firehouse~ (told from Bruce’s POV)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After we drop off Ace we head to my place. It doesn’t take long before Gene starts asking questions. 

“So how was he? Was it everything you hoped for?” How could I even put it into words? I knew if I started thinking about it now I’d have a serious problem with my pants and..oh god not in front of Gene.. “I..I’ll say this much. Watching him dance is nothing compared to spending the night with him. I fully understand why he’s so popular.” Gene smirks. “As long as you had fun..that’s all that matters~” I know I shouldn’t ask how much it cost. It was a gift after all so it’s really none of my business. I push my curiosity aside. I have other more important questions to ask anyway. “So Gene..about that membership of yours..” 

“Seeing the benefits of having one are you~?” 

“Actually..” I pull out my wallet and take out the card that Ace had bought for me. “..yes I do~” Gene laughs. “Oh, I see~ That’s the best decision you could’ve made, my friend. That little card is going to open a lot of doors for you~” I smile and put the card away. “What can you tell me about it? I didn’t get a chance to ask.” 

“Well first and foremost it’s a lot better than a regular membership. I’ve had a normal one before. Upgrading was something I never regretted. Not only does it get you in without paying cover charges but you can also get a group of friends in, as you already know~ The only restriction for groups is it has to be for someone’s birthday. And of course it doesn’t work if you want to get 50 people in. 5 is the limit. It also gets you discounts on drinks and private time with the dancers. Normal memberships are only good for 10% but V.I.P. gets you 25%~ Now..I don’t know how much that will help you with StarChild. He’s the most expensive one at the club. I’d suggest saving up your money if you want a night with him again.” I chew on my lip. Well..since he brought it up..I guess it wouldn’t be as rude to ask. “That bad huh? H-how much..is he..?” 

“$25,000.” 

“W-wha..?” I stare at him in utter disbelief. That..means that…they each had to pay over $6,000!! “Y-you guys..spent that much money..on me..?” Gene laughs again and pats my shoulder. “Is it really that big of a shock to you? Isn’t that what friends are supposed to do for each other? Besides it was a special occasion and we were all glad to do it. Now enough. Birthdays come only once a year~” I lean back in my seat and just try to process everything. One, I have the greatest friends in the world~ Two, if I want to see my StarChild again I have to take Gene’s advice. After saying goodbye and going back up to my apartment I lean against the door. I have a lot to figure out. I want to go back as soon as I can. I’ll disappoint him if I don’t. I know I have nowhere near enough money for another night with him right now, but if I go there..if I watch him dance..maybe that will make him happy until we can be together again~ 

It’s back to work in the morning. After the weekend feeling so surreal everything else is just so dull in comparison. When I start my car I turn on the radio. My favorite station always seems to know how I’m feeling~ It’s also been way too long since I’ve listened to Whitesnake~

I don’t know where I’m goin’ But I sure know where I’ve been Hangin’ on the promises in songs of yesterday

And I’ve made up my mind I ain’t wastin’ no more time

Here I go again Here I go again

My mind drifts to StarChild as I pull out onto the road. I’ll never forget the way he looked on the stage that night. Elegant. Sparkling. Not at all like some cheap whore at a trashy strip joint. He was the epitome of class. He didn’t need to expose his body to get attention. They take one look at him and they’re mesmerized. They want him..and he basks in their admiration.

Though I keep searchin’ for an answer I never seem to find what I’m lookin’ for Lord, I pray you give me strength to carry on

Cause I know what it means To walk along the lonely street of dreams

I pull into the parking lot, turn off the engine and just sit for a while, making sure the radio stays on. Looking at the clock I see I’m early. Thank goodness. I kinda wanna stay in my head for a little while longer. I lean back in my seat and close my eyes.

Here I go again on my own Goin’ down the only road I’ve ever known Like a drifter I was born to walk alone

And I’ve made up my mind I ain’t wastin’ no more time

I think of how wonderful it would be to see my StarChild this weekend, even though I know financially it isn’t possible. Still..at least that can’t stop me from dreaming. I can just imagine what he would look like, strutting up to the pole dressed in one of his low cut, rhinestone studded suits, making bedroom eyes at his captivated audience.

I’m just another heart in need of rescue Waitin’ on love’s sweet charity And I’m gonna hold on for the rest of my days

Cause I know what it means To walk along the lonely street of dreams

Those long beautiful legs of his were made to wrap around a pole. He straddles it, gripping it tightly with one hand while the other beckons his audience closer. The light shines perfectly on those gorgeous red lips. They all want a taste. The taste that I’ve already had. 

And here I go again on my own Goin’ down the only road I’ve ever known Like a drifter I was born to walk alone

And I’ve made up my mind I ain’t wastin’ no more time But here I go again

Here I go again Here I go again Here I go

He hypnotizes them all with the slow gyrating movements of his hips, his fluffy mass of curls falling into his face as he moves his head forward. When he lowers himself they all reach for him, hoping for just one little touch. He playfully ignores them. He circles the pole with teasing, languid movements, this time lowering himself to his knees on the stage. 

Cause I know what it means To walk along the lonely street of dreams

Here I go again on my own Goin’ down the only road I’ve ever known Like a drifter I was born to walk alone

Everyone goes crazy as he crawls toward them like a cat. They all reach out again with money in their hands, placing it anywhere he’ll allow them to touch. He blows kisses to them and grabs the pole again to pull himself back up.

And I’ve made up my mind I ain’t wastin’ no more time

And here I go again on my own..

He struts away as the song fades. They’re loud. They call his name. They want more. But they can’t have him. Backstage he’s in my arms. He belongs to me. He presses his hot body against mine as he kisses me and whispers in my ear. “Let’s go to my room~” 

“I’ve been waiting to hear you say that~” 

Unfortunately I have to stop myself before I go too far. One, I’ll be late, and two, I don’t think it’d be a good idea to go into work with an erection. 

To be Continued!!

[little-wintry]

Shadowkeep - Zelun’s Journey, Prologue: Bad Omens

Summary: Zelun has a terrifying nightmare. Pirul prepares for the worst.

((This is the first in probably a long-ish series of my Guardian, Zelun, and her trials and POV as she travels back to the Moon in Shadowkeep. Mostly, I’m very excited for Shadowkeep and as someone who’s Guardian is essentially a knot of emotional baggage and trauma, I’m ready (and scared) to dive into Shadowkeep and thoroughly explore this. Needless to say most of this is probably gonna be angst, and spoilery, but I am prepared for the worst. Without further ado, the prologue, Bad Omens.))

It started with Uldren’s voice.

“The line between Light and Dark is so very thin. Do you know which side you’re on?”

The pressure on Zelun’s chest suffocated her. Dark corridors stretched out in every direction. There was the hissing of a horde of Thrall but none were visible. She was frozen, in a state of panic and fear, in this labyrinth she found herself trapped in.

She looked on the ground. Fragments of a Ghost. Her Ghost.

Nausea filled her stomach, and Zelun clutched her chest, trying to remind herself how to breathe. Lightning struck in front of her.

She heard the voice of Toland ring in her head. “A dreamer set adrift, caught between schemes, in a pleasant pawn for murderous queens...”

Zelun tried to speak but no sound came from her throat. She coughed up black blood and found a mote of Darkness on the ground, among the ruins of her own Ghost, and now a shattered Ace of Spades.

It was the Drifter’s voice this time. “Embrace the Darkness.”

Something drove Zelun to pick it up. She touched it - it was warm to the touch, almost burning hot-

Every nerve froze as images flashed before Zelun’s eyes. The Tower, in ruins, everyone she ever knew, dead-

With another beat there were more bodies.

Ikora. Zavala. Cayde.

You’re no hero. You’re hardly a Guardian.

Petra. Mara. Uldren.

What have you done? Who have you saved? No one. Not until it’s too late.

Shaxx. Amanda. Sloane.

You could have saved them. You could have stopped this.

Ana Bray. Asher. Eris.

You failed! You failed everyone!

Zelun wanted to cry. She wanted to scream and shout at whatever voice was in her head but all she could do was stand, silently, and taste the blood in her mouth. She looked down and her hands were soaked red.

Zelun felt herself smile and she was terrified to know why.

What kind of monster are you?

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Zelun let out a choked scream as she bolted up. She was shaking, violently, and clutched herself and tried to steady her breathing.

She blinked rapidly and looked around. She was in her ship.

Standing and fighting off dizziness, she smacked her Ghost out of the air as he was piloting the ship.

“You’re awa-” He began to say, and Zelun shushed him.

“Why did you let me fall asleep?” She said.

Pirul pouted. “You can’t keep pretending like you don’t need sleep, Ze, even if-”

“I don’t care!” Zelun snarled, wiping the cold sweat off her palms. “Stop letting me fall asleep. The nightmares are getting worse and I don’t feel like dealing with them.” She stopped her voice from cracking but Pirul still looked concerned.

“Zelun, if the nightmares are getting worse you-”

“Need to talk to Ikora,” Zelun mocked. “Ikora doesn’t need to know. Ikora would just be worried. I’m fine.”

“What was it about?”

Zelun glared and turned away, her fear building up in her chest.

“Zelun,” Pirul said, harsher this time. “What did you dream about?”

“It doesn’t matter!” Zelun snapped. 

Pirul froze. For a brief, terrifying second, Zelun couldn’t tell if he was angry or if he was hurt.

He recoiled into his shell, and didn’t say another word.

Zelun looked up to the moon in orbit around it. It was an eerie red, like the blood she could still feel dripping off her hands.

--------------------------------------------------------------

“Ikora?” Pirul peeked around a pillar in the Tower’s bazaar. It was after sundown, and many people had gone home.

Ikora, standing vigilantly at her post, glanced up. “Pirul. What is it?”

She shook her head. “Nevermind. Zelun’s run off again, I suppose?”

“No,” Pirul confessed. “She’s just… on edge, I guess. I mean, not that she’s never not stressed, but it’s just… more than usual.”

Ikora leaned back. “Elaborate.”

“The nightmares.” If Pirul had hands, he’d be wringing them. “They’ve been… getting worse, I can tell. She doesn’t talk about them at all. And the way she looks when she wakes up… it’s bothering her. She doesn’t want to talk to you.” For a moment, Pirul felt bad going behind his Guardian’s back - then remembered she had done it to him, dozens of times, and this was for her own good.

Ikora sighed deeply. “How bad is it?”

“It’s to the point where she doesn’t want to sleep.”

Rubbing the bridge of her nose, Ikora shrugged. “I wish I could help. I’m under my own load of stress. Try to give Zelun a few days of rest. Keep her out of the field. The one thing you can do is give her time and space.”

Pirul pouted. He wished there was something more he could do - a way to fix his Guardian's mental scars as easily as the physical ones. 

“Thank you, Ikora.” He said, turning away.

“And Pirul?” Ikora called. “I feel that something big is coming our way. Something dark.” She looked down. “I don’t want Zelun to go through any more pain, but if the threat is great enough-”

“I’m sure she’ll jump into it before you even know,” Pirul sighed. “I’ll stay in contact.”

As Pirul transmatted back to the ship, he saw Zelun slumped over in her seat, asleep. He stubbornly woke her up, and she at least seemed mildly grateful. It was a rare thing nowadays for his Guardian.

As he looked up at the moon, he pondered Ikora’s warning.

He hoped his Guardian wouldn’t be pushed too far.

[madharringrove]

Part 2 (By: Cris)

This is part two written by Cris in her character’s POV, Alex Rogers.

——————————————————————————————————————

Alex’s POV:

I was going to meet with Amanda at a party tonight, but it seems that she wasn’t here yet. I sat on my red ’59 Jaguar XK150 Roadster and looked in the mirror to make sure my eyeliner still looked as sharp as my pocket knife. I walked out of my car, that was parked very far away so no asshole would try to test my patience, and walked into the party.

I looked around to see if anyone I recognized enough to talk to was there but there was no one, so of course I headed for the alcohol. I saw Hargrove talking to some people and drinking some beer, he caught me looking at him and looked at me with a shit eating smirk. I hate that I don’t hate that asshole. I walked away and grabbed myself some beer, and awkwardly smiled at some people who passed by and waved at me.

“Here” some stranger said and handed me a beer and pulled me by the arm to the backyard of the house. There I saw Tommy H. standing across me with a beer can in his hand and a pocket knife. “You’re going down Rogers!” Tommy yelled over at me and pointed the knife at me, “maybe but not on you!” I yelled back with a smirk. The count down started and as soon as it reached one I poked a whole in the can and pressed my lips fast against it and drank. In a matter of seconds I was done with my beer and proud of myself for beating Tommy H. People cheered as I looked around for Amanda. I caught a glance at Hargrove who had a proud smirk while bothering Tommy H. for losing to a girl. And that’s when I saw Amanda, “hey Williams!” I shouted and walked over to her giving her my pocket knife, “someone get her a beer!” I shouted. After a couple of minutes, Amanda had shotgunned her beer and everyone was cheering. Somewhere along the conversation keg stands were mentioned, meaning it was time for the rightful queen to get her title back.

“Just pass 42 seconds, alright?” she said.

“Why?”

“We’re here to pass Hargrove or what?”

48 seconds later and the keg stand queen was decided while everyone cheered. “Feels good” I said with a smirk, “your turn” I added. While everyone cheered and Harrington yelled “The new keg stand Queens!”, I couldn’t help but look around the room for a little fun. At first I tried to come off as a rough bitch that doesn’t deal with anyone’s bullshit, which is why I would threaten any guy trying to get with me. That was until some stranger pulled me away to a hallway closet.

“Hey what the fuck?!”

“Shut up and blow me” the guy said.

“Fuck no” I said and kicked him in the nuts.

“Get lost asshole!” I shouted at him as he limped away in pain. “Trouble in paradise?” I heard Hargrove say with the most shit eating face I had seen tonight. “Nothing I can’t handle” I said and put a cigarette between my lips and lit it up. “Ive been seeing you around tonight” he said and grabbed the cigarette from my lips, “you use drinking as a distraction to the fact that you have no one” he said and took a puff. “What’s that supposed to mean dipshit?” I asked and crossed my arms, “your only four friends are paired together and you’re all alone, “without the beer you would be a no one” he said and smiled. “At least I have someone, unlike you who can’t even get his sister to like him” I said and raised my pocket knife to his neck. “Would be a shame to damage such a nice neck with a knife” I said and pushed him away. “Yeah runaway Rogers! Like you always do you little bitch!” He yelled at me as I walked away, “Respect the Queen!” Some stranger yelled at you, which ended up being sucker punched by Billy.

What my friends saw as moments of glory and fame was actually a hook up in a strangers house.

“Shit”

“Oh Fuck”

“Don’t stop”

“Right there baby”

All followed by a “we should take this somewhere else” between kisses and heavy breathing. We walked outside of the low lit bathroom and walked to my car.

“You by any chance sober?”

“Nope”

“Yeah didn’t think so”

I started to drive off when I heard some loud moans. “Fucking Hargrove” I mumbled in anger as I looked over to the ’79 Camaro parked next to my car. I tried focusing on the road back home but the alcohol mixed with the grinning smile Billy had when he looked over at me while fucking some slut really weren’t helping. Soon after a couple of minutes we made it to my place and quickly took things to the living room couch. Perks of living mostly alone I guess.

“That was great” he panted out.

“Fuck Damon, we should do this more often”

“Agreed”

If only he knew he was just a distraction to me the way the alcohol is. Sad part is, Hargrove is right. Without the alcohol and cigarettes I’m a nobody, Nancy and Johnathan are always together, Steve and Mandy are destined to end up together sooner or later, all I have is the title of a Queen and a tendency to fuck things up. My thoughts were cut off by the landline ringing.

“Love you! Bye!” I shouted into the phone and hung up. At least I know Mandy is okay, more than okay considering she’s at Harrington’s. “Hey man I think you should go” I said awkwardly, “did I do something wrong?” Damon asked afraid, “no, not at all! I just have some business I forgot I had to take care of” I lied and sat on the couch. “Oh okay, well umm ill see you later” he said and awkwardly put his shirt on, “shit right, ill give you a ride don’t worry” I said and put my clothes back on.

“Thanks for the ride!” He said as he walked out of my car, “which one?” I smirked, “both” he laughed and walked away. I drove away but didn’t go back home, I parked my car near the forest and sat out on the trunk. Not much you can do in this town but drink and listen to music. I put on one of my favorite mix tapes my brother had made for me before he moved away and took a cig out. “Oh you’re so condescending, your gall is never ending. We don’t want nothin’, not a thing from you” I singed along to the Twisted Sister song. “Is that supposed to mean something?” I heard a voice say, “the fuck are you doing here Hargrove?” I asked. “Hooking up with Damon Brown, that’s low even for you” he said and sat next to me, “and hooking up with you isn’t?” I asked, “you know you’d love to” he said, “fuck off”.

“So alone always” he laughed, “like a drifter I was born to live alone” I joked, “Whitesnakes, nice” he said in approval of my knowledge of rock music. “And here I thought you were just pretending to like rock music” he said, “passion for rock isn’t something you can just fake, you more than anyone should know that” I said. “Oh we’re half way there, living on a prayer” I mumbled along to the song.

“What’s your deal anyways?” He asks

“What do you mean?”

“Well you just randomly showed up in town, no family or history, no one knows anything about you”

“You’re one to talk” I scoffed.

“You just gotta know the right people” I added

“And who are those people?” He asked

“Why are you so invested in learning about me”

“Cuz I wanna know if there’s something else besides stubbornness and loneliness to you” he said dryly.

“Let it go”.

And with every question we got closer to each other, “god you’re so stubborn” he scoffed. “Why the hell are you even here?” I asked but instead of an answer I received a “so stubborn and goddamn stupid”. “If you think I’m so shitty just get the fuck out” I said starting to sound annoyed, “there’s so much more you could do with that pretty little mouth of yours than smoke and talk shit about me” he said and grabbed my jaw tight, “I don’t want your fucking STDs Hargrove” I said and stood up. “Stubborn, stupid, but so fucking sexy” he said and pushed me against the car, “get the fuck off” I said and tried to escape his grip, “oh I will” he growled. “I know you want this” he said, “everyone wants this” he assured himself, “fuck off I’m not one of your dirty sluts” I shouted and managed to escape his grip. “You think I haven’t seen you making goo goo eyes at me ever since you moved to town, I know you, I know what you want” he said seriously this time, “you don’t know me” I mumbled. “So afraid of getting what she wants. What? Is it normally harder for you? Come over here and I’ll show you truly how hard it is” he said at first sweet but then with a cocky smile.

“What if we make a deal?” I said asserting myself.

“Okay what do you want?”

“I fuck you, I’ll be your little slut just for tonight. But only once, and you promise to leave me and my friends the fuck alone. I’ll just as if see you near them and I’ll fucking end you Hargrove” I said and got near him.

“I’m down, but you’ll be coming around for seconds” he smirked.

“Oh we’ll see who’s gonna be coming for seconds” I scoffed.

I grabbed his hand and pulled him into my Jaguar, “sit down and shut the fuck up” I said as I sat on his lap. He grabbed my face and began kissing me, seemed like he was trying to choke me with his tongue, I’m not gonna lie, I enjoyed it. Our movements soon synced up to the music playing and our heavy breaths. Wanting more I quickly fidgeted around his crotch to take off his belt and pull down his high waisted skinny jeans. “I knew you wanted it bad” he said through kisses, “shut up and do me” I replied. Slowly but surely our clothes was everywhere but on our bodies. Fully naked, cold, and slightly afraid, I positioned myself on top of his hard dick and let him to the work. Slowly at first, but then we both picked up the pace, treating moans and grunts that bounced off the sides of the car.

“Holy fuck” I gasped and arched my back.

“Fucking cunt!” He yelled out and grasped onto my back.

“Shit Hargrove” I panted.

“One time thing alright” I remembered him, “Shit Rogers at least let me finish orgasming geez” he said and grabbed my face again, going in for a kiss. And for some reason I couldn’t seem to want to pull away, and so I kissed him back. “I should- I need to go” I said and pulled away from the kisses he was leaving down my neck, “yeah, right” he said and grabbed his clothes. We got dressed and soon after I was driving back home and he was walking to what I assumed was his house. Of course I had to hook up with Billy Hargrove’s neighbor, fuck.

“Here I go again on my own, going down the only road I’ve ever known. Like a drifter I was born to walk alone, and I’ve made up my mind, I ain’t wasting no more time” I yelled along to the song. What the fuck did I just do, and why do I want to do it again?

[pyromania2667]

The Reticent

"I saw her, skulking the realm, lost, confused, a sorry young lady, I wanted to walk up to her and comfort her in this hell, but then I saw it... Her mouth... or lack there of, she noticed me before I reached her, eyes filled with regret and dismay, she doesn't want to be here, but the entity has her within its grasp."

Introducing: “The Reticent” A fan made killer for DBD

Name: June Allons

DLC: Friends til the End

Gender: Female

Age: 23

Difficulty: Hard

Height: Tall

Ethnicity: French American

Realm: Francine’s Diner (I may describe this later)

Weapon: Military Fork

Speed: 115% (4.6 m/s)

Terror radius: 28 meters

June Allons was always a shy girl at school, reserved and quiet, only having one close friend, she was constantly a target of bullying throughout high school. Her father abandoned her at a young age, and Her mother, Avery Allons took up alcoholism, and while she tried to be a good mother, her addiction got the best of her at most times. Her friend Samantha Bennings was her confidant, she told everything to her; from her depression to all of her worries, she just wanted someone to talk to, Samantha would always be there for her. Several times during school, June would attempt to hide from others by sneaking into her friend's Locker, hoping nobody would find her until her friend finally returned. June would try to spend as much time as possible hiding away, especially during breaks, wishing she could be in a clique like all the other students that passed by. Despite her best attempts to quietly pass through high school, June was readily victimized. Her assailant, Ginger Wynn not only picked on her every day of school, from elementary to high school, she also lived fairly close to June and the harassment would not stop. Unfortunately for June, the bullying got worse the further she got into high school, her grades were starting to drop, her personality fading, she became distant to her family, and eventually her closest confidant, Samantha. She spent over a year bottling up her emotions and trying her best to persist through school

June barely graduated high school with a passing grade, Ginger would pull off one final act before she’d leave to college, and that was to replace June’s lip balm with glue. Everyone was expected to give a small speech on the day of their graduation, as is tradition, but when June came up to the stage, her lips were sealed. Ginger and her friends laughed and pointed at her, taunting her even more. Unable to say anything, June broke into tears and ran off stage. A year passed and, June became a drifter, abandoning her family and attempting to make a life on her own, getting away from everything she once knew.

June managed to acquire a job at a locally owned diner, The couple that owned the place took pity upon June and took her under their wing. Weeks went by as June worked at the diner, but she could not escape her past trauma as many customers were unruly and would harass June. Time passed and one day Ginger and her family arrived at the diner, June immediately recognized her, remembering everything she put her through and tried her best to hide from their sight.

In her haste to remain hidden, June tripped over herself and dropped a container of coffee. Ginger burst into laughter, and her family quickly joined in, pointing and laughing at the prone waitress.

Humiliated and ashamed, June ran away from the Diner into the nearby forest. After hours of running, June collapsed from exhaustion. As she lie on the forest floor, spidery tendrils drew in from the trees, wrapping the poor soul in it’s eldritch embrace.

June did not go willingly into the Entity’s embrace, but her lack of hope and will to carry on allowed her to be easily molded to the Entity’s whims.

The Reticent’s face is mostly shrouded in long, dark hair, covering her eyes, and a complete lack of a mouth, due to this, she will only breathe heavily through her nose. She is gaunt and slightly shorter than the pig. She wears a ragged waitress uniform, which is torn, and visibly worn out, she has dark sneakers, and her footsteps are light. She limps slightly, like the Hillbilly.

The Reticent’s Weapon of choice is a Military Fork, used as a novelty in the Diner by the owners, The Reticent uses this weapon to stab at her victims and finish them by gouging their eyes out simultaneously.

The Reticent swipes the fork forward or lunges, jutting it out. She will wipe her fork on her sleeve after landing an attack

The Reticent’s power: Shroud

Fragments of her mind tell the Reticent to hide away from everything she can. Hiding within objects enhance her aura reading capabilities.

You may hide in lockers, chests, and blacklocks, removing your terror radius

You see the aura of other survivors within 28 meters while hiding.

Leaving your hiding spot keeps the loss of terror radius and removes your red stain for 10 seconds. Additionally, you have a 20% haste bonus until you enter a chase

You automatically catch any survivor that interacts with your hiding space.

You have detection immunity while hiding and during the 10 seconds after using shroud.

You may hide by using the alternate action. If a chest has been opened, it will appear closed whilst she’s in it, she will leave it closed after leaving, rewarding no item to a survivor that searches it. If the blacklock is already open or closed, it will appear the same. If a survivor attempts to interact with the locker, chest, or blacklock you’re in, you immediately leap out, and hoist them upon your shoulder. The Reticent makes NO sound when entering/exiting a locker or chest. It takes .5 seconds to open your hiding spot (you will crawl into the blacklock if it’s open), and 1 second to enter or leave the hiding spot. The “countdown” doesn’t start until the exiting animation is finished.

Mori - (Shared POV) Camera worms eye view of dying survivor The reticent kneels down behind the survivor, grasping their jaw and slowly raising it, (survivor still faced away from her) she then gouges their eyes with her Military Fork as the survivor attempts to claw at the fork, she drops the survivor’s head onto the ground and stands up, camera still worms eye view.

The Reticent’s perks, Abeyance, Clique, and Hex: Isolation help her locate survivors working together and punish those who are alone.

The Reticent’s perks:

Clique - Unlocks potential in one’s Aura reading ability. If you are within 20 / 26 / 32 meters of survivors who are within 12 meters of each other, their auras are revealed to you

“If only I could be one of them…” - June Allons  

Unique to The Reticent until Level 30, at which point its Teachable version can then be learned and taught to the other Killers

Hex: Eremophobia - Survivors who are more than 8 meters away from any other survivor suffer a 25% / 30% / 35% action speed penalty (hex revealed upon doing any action)

“It gets so lonely sometimes, but at least I have you with me.” - June Allons  

Unique to The Reticent until Level 35, at which point its Teachable version can then be learned and taught to the other Killers

Abeyance - Your presence alone instills feelings of despair to those who are idle. While in a chase or carrying a survivor, survivors within your terror radius who are not completing any actions or being chased will suffer from the blindness status effect and are affected by the hindered status effect, (15%) this effect persists  for 3 / 4 / 5 seconds upon leaving your terror radius or until they are no longer idle. While carrying a survivor, survivors in your terror radius will be unable to take any actions.

"Come on June, doing nothing won't solve anything!"- Samantha Bennings

Unique to The Reticent until Level 40, at which point its Teachable version can then be learned and taught to the other Killers 

Example addons:

Common: 

Locker lint - A piece of lint from a school locker. Slightly increases the duration of your power (2 seconds)  “The lockers at school were always so dusty”

Ripped napkin - slightly increases the aura reading range of your power (4 meters)

Locker Shelf - A wooden shelf to put into lockers to aid in storage. Removes all loss of terror radius and red stain removal from your power. Gain 200% more bloodpoints in the Deviousness category.

Uncommon:

Francine’s Name-tag - The torn name-tag from Francie Adams, who would make the desserts of her Diner. Moderately increases the range of your power’s aura reading ( 8 meters)

Moldy bread - Old, moldy bread, the mold constantly seems to spread. When you hide in an unsearched chest, the item that would be found has 50% fewer charges.

Padlock - A rusty padlock used for lockers at a High school. Standing still for 3 seconds activates Shroud.

Rare:

Kitchen grease - Slick kitchen grease scooped up from the floor. Retain the haste bonus upon entering a chase for 5 seconds

Ginger’s hairband - A hairband dropped from Ginger in the restrooms. Moderately reduces the duration of your power (3 seconds), Upon exiting a hiding spot, you retain the aura reading from your power for 5 seconds.

Swan napkin - A napkin folded into a swan by June herself. Significantly increases the speed at which you enter and exit hiding spots. (50% animation speed increase)

Very Rare:

Goodbye Letter - A solemn letter written by June to her closest friend. Whenever your obsession enters a locker or searches through a chest their aura is revealed to you for the duration they do so and for 5 seconds afterward. Auras of survivors hiding in lockers cannot be hidden to you “Farewell Samantha, I may not ever see you again, I only wish I could have spent more time with you...”

You become obsessed with one Survivor.

The Killer can only be obsessed with one Survivor at a time.

Storage Room Key - A key to the diner’s storage room. When the blacklock appears, its aura is revealed to you, survivors within 12 meters of the blacklock are revealed to you

Ultra Rare:

Ginger’s Hair - A tuft of hair ripped straight out of Ginger’s scalp during a quarrel, holding it instills fury into the reticent. Removes the loss of terror radius from your power, slightly reduces the aura reading range by your power (4 meters) Upon exiting a chest or locker, your next successful attack within 25 seconds automatically puts the survivor into the dying state. “Even when she’s not around, it feels like she’s still mocking me.”

Mr. Martin’s Shirt - A stolen handmade cotton shirt commonly worn by Mr. Martin, the owner, who treated June with respect and kindness. Tremendously increases the aura reading range of your power (24 meters). You see the aura of pallets within 24 meters of you at all times, you can now quickly vault through pallets as a survivor would. “You will do great things, June, you just have to work hard and carry on.” - Mr. Martin

(lol @ when this was made before legion was revealed)

(miscellaneous) you gain 10 bloodpts/sec while using shroud (awarded after exiting/catching a survivor), finding a survivor gives 100 bps and catching a survivor is worth 1500 bps,  attacking a survivor within 15 seconds of leaving a hiding spot gives 300 bloodpoints (all in the deviousness category) - you still get the appropriate amount of bloodpoints in other categories that correspond with your actions; E.G: finding survivors or catching survivors

Add-on Stats:

slightly - 4 meters / 2 seconds

moderately - 8 meters / 3 seconds

Considerably - 12 meters / 4 seconds

Tremendously - 16 meters / 5 seconds

Metallic Splinter -  Allows you to take on the role of The Reticent for the next trial. Your current Perks and Add-ons will not be used.

“Do... Do I have to..?”

Introducing: Samantha Bennings

"I limped, injured from a recent encounter, when a new person I have never seen before rushed to my aid. Her face turned in a benevolent smile as if there were nothing wrong, she looked at me with her ever smiling eyes as if I were her dearest friend, catering me until I could walk properly again. Something about her unnatural companionship is unnerving, but definitely welcome."

DLC: Friends til the End

Gender: Female

Age: 23

Role: The Best Friend

Ethnicity: American

Difficulty: Easy

Samantha Bennings was never much to keep still for too long, always eager for school, ready to take on a new day. It was in elementary when she met her closest friend, June Allons, she was quiet and reserved, while Samantha was eager and ready to make some friends, It didn’t take long for the two to find out they had very similar interests.

Years passed and June’s normal pessimism began to overwhelm her, Samantha couldn’t stand to watch her best friend fall into depression, so she’d do her best to spend as much time with her and lift her spirits. Despite her best efforts, June’s condition wouldn’t improve, it only got worse when she’d regularly find June hiding in her locker. She tried to get June proper counseling, but she would constantly shy away from it, unwilling to confide in anyone but Samantha about her personal life.

While Samantha wasn’t a spectacular student, she did very well and managed to get into her dream college, she was torn between her pursuit of education and helping her friend recover from her mental illness. She’d regularly try to help June, but eventually, June began to shun away from her. Worried, Samantha would keep a close eye on June, despite her not wanting to talk to her anymore. weeks passed and she saw less and less of June. Finding nothing better to do, Samantha pursued to college.

It wasn’t until years later she heard the news about what happened at a local diner of where she used live with June. Remembering the loss of her closest friend, Samantha visited the cite of where she could gain from Mr. Martin. She could have sworn she heard the familiar voice of the friend beckoning her from within the woods. Perhaps a little too eager to see her confidant once more, Samantha ran into the woods but was quickly lost within them. She looked around for several minutes before seeing a dark figure looming above her.

Nobody has seen Samantha ever since.

Samantha’s perks, Confidants, Companionship, and Inseparable Bond help other survivors know her location as well as allow Samantha to aid her allies during the trial

Samantha’s perks:

Confidants - Unlocks potential in one’s Aura reading ability. Your aura is revealed to all survivors within 24 / 48 / 128 meters, other survivors heal you 35% faster. Your aura will be highlighted in orange while you are in a chase

“What’s wrong? You can talk to me, I won’t tell a soul.” - Samantha Bennings

Unique to Samantha Bennings until Level 30, at which point its Teachable version can then be learned and taught to the other Survivors

Companionship - You gain 100% / 200% / 300% more blood points from healing other survivors. Reduce the noise made by healing by 8 meters. While healing another survivor, they may move at a walking pace while you heal right behind them.

“I’m glad to call you my friend.” -Samantha Bennings  (the survivor you’re healing gets a buff icon for it)

The bonus Bloodpoints are only awarded post-trial.

Unique to Samantha Bennings until Level 35, at which point its Teachable version can then be learned and taught to the other Survivors

Inseparable Bond - Once / Twice / Thrice per trial, while you are in the healthy state, whenever an injured survivor within 8 meters is attacked, instead redirect that attack to you.

“I will be your friend until the end.” - Samantha Bennings (Nearby injured survivors get notified of the buff if you are healthy)

Unique to Samantha Bennings until Level 40, at which point its Teachable version can then be learned and taught to the other Survivors

Samantha is clad in a crimson jumper with a white shirt underneath and red sneakers, she has shoulder length brown hair.

Bonus perk

Hex: Vendetta - Whenever a survivor begins cleansing any totem, they suffer from the exposed status effect, the status effect persists for as long as they cleanse the totem and 40 / 50 / 60 seconds afterward, The duration if halved if the survivor interrupts the cleansing. If a survivor cleanses this hex totem, their aura is revealed to you for 10 seconds and they suffer from the exposed status effect for 2 minutes.

- The Hex effects persist as long as the related Hex Totem is standing.

(Hooray! The devs added a similar perk to dbd)

Don’t forget to check out The Houndmaster, The Goliath, The Dancer, The Goliath, The Coven, and The Unrequited, my other killers