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spacedikut · 4 years ago

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“i want to love someone and be loved” ; spencer reid - part 2

pairing: spencer reid (criminal minds) x f!reader

summary: spencer decides it’s time to tell you, but he needs some help. 3887 words. part 1

a/n: THIS is the longest fic ive ever written but im actually kinda proud of how it turned out? i hope this is a good sequel :)

Spencer chickens out of telling you the next day.

He avoids you all weekend, actually. You resisted texting him the day after Rossi’s because you assumed he’d be busy – with his big plan involving a girl that isn’t you. You’re not bitter – but Sunday comes around and you message him not long after you wake up and six hours later there’s no response.

Twelve hours later - there’s no response.

Monday, you don’t have time to say hello to anyone – there’s a case waiting for you, somewhere in Florida.

Reid avoids your eyes. His body language tells you something is wrong, so you assume whoever he confessed to didn’t reciprocate (they’re insane) and he’s dealing with it. So you don’t press.

Spencer pretends to sleep the entire jet ride. He’s avoiding everyone, not just you.

He spent the whole weekend beating himself up. He drove to your apartment on Saturday, sat outside for so long a neighbour knocked on his window and asked if he was lost, but couldn’t bring himself to step foot out of his car.

So he locked himself in his room, away from you and your loveliness and away from his phone because he knew you texted him and he knew you’d send some soft message about being there for him if he needs anything and he didn’t need to be reminded of how beautiful and out of reach you are.

Derek seemed to be waiting for him Monday morning, arms crossed as he held a cup of coffee. It was weird seeing him in before Spencer.

“How’d it go?” He immediately asked.

“How’d what go?” Spencer mumbles, flinging his bag on the floor by his desk. He slumps in his seat.

Derek raises a dark eyebrow, “You know what, pretty boy. You had a big thing? Big plan?”

“Didn’t work out.”

It doesn’t take a profiler to realise Spencer is very clearly saying leave me alone. Leave it alone.

Derek isn’t one to leave it alone. Especially when it comes to Spencer.

He sighs and moves a little closer to Spencer’s desk, just in case someone overhears them.

“What happened?”

“That’s exactly it,” Spencer slams open a file, “Nothing happened.”

“And why did nothing happen?”

“Because I’m an idiot that can’t even tell a girl how I feel.”

“Whoa- hey!”

Derek spins Spencer’s chair so they’re face to face. Derek takes one look in Spencer’s eyes and knows what’s going on – he got too into his head and backed out at the last minute.

“You’re not an idiot. Why didn’t you do it?”

Spencer shrugs, “I got to her apartment. I had flowers, too. I don’t know.”

Derek’s evidently concerned – Spencer’s beaten up over this, over whoever this girl is, and he deserves the chance to experience love. Spencer deserves a lot more than he himself thinks he does.

“You seemed really excited, man. You can still do it. Just cause you try once and it doesn’t work out doesn’t mean you can’t ever try again.”

Spencer stares off into the distance, accidentally ignoring Derek as his thoughts slip out of his mouth, “Yeah, it probably wouldn’t have worked anyway – I was stupid to think I could get someone like her.”

“Hey, no.” Derek nudges Spencer’s shoulder so he looks at him again, “Don’t talk like that. You’re one hell of a guy, Reid. All you gotta do is get that confidence that you had Friday night back, and you’re all set. Don’t be so hard on yourself.”

Spencer gives a feeble nod. Derek moves back to his desk, knowing he isn’t convinced, but he isn’t done yet.

+++

Later, in Florida, Spencer’s making a coffee in the precinct’s kitchen after waiting twenty minutes for you to leave. Luck’s on his side, for once, and you’ve been working non-stop with Prentiss going crime scene to crime scene so he hasn’t had to actively avoid you. You smile at him every chance you get, though, and it distracts him.

Someone clears their throat behind him. It’s Penelope, whom Spencer didn’t realise was invited on this case.

She looks guilty. Spencer recognises that face; the face she has when she’s done something she shouldn’t have or knows something she isn’t really supposed to. Given current circumstances, Spencer bets it’s the latter reason.

“Morgan told me something he shouldn’t have.”

Bingo.

He leans against the kitchen counter, stirring his coffee absentmindedly.

“What did he tell you?” He asks, feigning tranquillity. Inside he’s screaming non-stop.

She’s got her hands clasped together in front of her, almost innocently, and fiddles with her fingers, “He told me you needed assistance in the love department.” Before he can object, she continues, “And I am willing to do anything if it means our resident weirdo-slash-genius falls in love and gets to experience some much needed cuteness.”

There’s no point in lying to her. There’s also no point in being mad that Morgan told her about his situation – they’re kind of a package deal. And, who knows, Garcia might be able to help.

“So…” She sways, trying (and failing) to appear nonchalant, “Who’s the lucky lady?”

Spencer shuffles on the spot, scuffing his shoes against the floor. He debates whether he should tell her, since, you know, you’re in the next room over, but Spencer worries that Garcia is so good at her job she’d somehow find out through hacking Spencer’s phone, or maybe somehow hacking his dreams. His subconscious. He’s terrified of Garcia and her abilities.

“You can tell me.” She insists, “I’m much better at keeping secrets than Morgan.”

Spencer turns away from her, she steps closer, and he mumbles your name.

“What?”

“Y/N.”

“WHAT?!”

Spencer spins, hands coming up to tell Garcia to shut up and Garcia immediately covers her mouth in both shock and hopefully so she doesn’t shout again.

“Since when?!” She screeches. “How could I not have known?! Oh God, almighty Doctor Reid, I feel like I’ve failed you by not realising earlier.”

Her enthusiasm makes him smile, for the first time in far too long. Garcia has that power – this innate skill to comfort those around her and make them feel special, make them smile when the world feels like its collapsing.

“Let me help!” She requests.

Spencer’s clearly hesitant. He knows it’s a bad idea.

“Please!” She begs, “I just- I have so many ideas of how you can go about this. Let me brainstorm, get back to you, and if I’m too over-the-top you can tell me no and we’ll pretend it never happened!”

He takes a deep breath. Yes, Garcia is the definition of over-the-top, but that’s one of his favourite things about her. It’s your favourite thing, too. And he did tell Morgan he had big plans. Anything involving Garcia is a big plan with big payoff.

“This is between us.”

“I’ll take it to the grave. Unless you realise how amazing my ideas are and use one to tell Y/N how you feel and then years later I get to commend myself during my maid of honour speech at your wedding.”

She looks ecstatic, hands now together under her jaw as her eyes twinkle. Spencer can’t help but laugh at her eagerness.

+++

The next day, the team returns to Quantico after a semi-successful case. The general mood is good and Morgan invites everyone out for drinks – Spencer declines, but you have your first full conversation since last Friday.

“C’mon, Spence,” Your head rests against the jet seat and you blink sleepily at him, “I feel like I haven’t spoken to you for years!”

Spencer gives you a small smile, “I promised my mom I’d call her tonight. Sorry, Y/N.”

You nod in understanding, “Will you tell her I say hi?”

“Of course. She loves you.”

You grin at eachother, immediately lost in your own world. You’ve missed him more than you realised, and you have no idea what’s going through his head, but you’re happy that you’ve had this – a Spencer Reid smile that makes you feel at home and on top of the world simultaneously.

Spencer has to tear his eyes away before he blurts something stupid, like she’s not the only one that loves you.

+++

“Spencer!” Garcia greets, Cheshire cat grin on her face. “I need to see you in my dungeon, please. Immediately.”

Spencer drops the file he’s holding. Unfortunately, Penelope’s request caught the attention of the whole team.

“What business do you have in the villain’s lair, Reid?” Derek asks. You’ve looked up from your computer, Emily smirking and leaning back in her chair in expectation.

“Uh…”

“Important nerd business. Go away.” Garcia says, eyes narrow as she tugs Spencer’s hand. He’s whisked away from any further questioning, leaving the befuddled team behind.

He isn’t sure what to expect when he stumbles into Penelope’s second home, but the display in front of him explains why he overheard a conversation about missing evidence boards earlier. Penelope’s obviously been using the new printer in her cave to her advantage – there’s at least twenty different pictures printed out on one board titled “date ideas”, then the board on the right has a picture of Spencer and you in the centre with a perfectly drawn heart around it. Under and around that is a mixture of love quotes, including song lyrics and quotes directly from romantic movies. He notices “The Parliament of Fowls” on there – Garcia remembers that he mentioned it’s considered the first Valentines poem?

“Whoa,” Is all he can say.

“I know it’s a little intense,” Garcia squirms, “But! I started scrolling through Pinterest and couldn’t stop. I don’t know what came over me, maybe some type of love deity, but I started thinking about you and Y/N in a classic love film in, like, black and white and I…”

She’s out of breath from animatedly explaining.

Spencer laughs through his nose, almost a scoff, but he’s impressed. He shouldn’t have expected anything else from the Penelope Garcia.

As Spencer wanders towards the first board, Garcia follows him like a shadow, “My personal favourite is-“ She points to a picture of chocolate fondue with faceless people in very little clothing, “-this one.”

Spencer awkwardly clears his throat when he begins to think of you and him like that.

“A little much for your declaration of love, though, I get it,” Garcia nods.

He scans the board – heart speeding up when he moves from idea to idea and picturing you and him in each one. He can’t help but think no, that one would be good for our anniversary – ah, she’d love to do that one for her birthday.

“What’re you thinking?” Garcia asks quietly. She knows his brain is whirring like her computer drive, so she approaches him gently.

“This one.” He says. “Where should we do it?”

Garcia grins behind him. The one he’s referring to shows a dinner table set up outside, brown wooded table with white wooden chairs opposite eachother. There’s flowers at the centre, a bottle of wine already poured in each glass in front of a basket of cookies, and the area around is shrouded by shrubbery, fairy lights hanging delicately from every-which-way.

It’s perfect. You love fairy lights, Spencer loves cookies, and the set-up looks private enough for Spencer to feel confident when he empties his heart and soul to you.

“The roof.” Garcia says wistfully.

“We have access to that?”

“Yes.” They both know they don’t. “Leave it to me. Oh… one more thing.” She adds, hesitantly, “Can Morgan help? I’m a lot of things, including emotionally strong and your love guru, but physically I’m gonna need some assistance.”

Spencer doesn’t even need to agree – Morgan’s gonna involve himself no matter what.

+++

Five o’clock is quickly approaching and you’re slumped over your desk, lost in your work. You need to be lost in it, because ever since Garcia released Spencer from her office right after lunch he’s been sneaking glances at you (he’s not sneaky) and has made several attempts to approach you but decided against it, sharply turning and pretending he meant to go another way instead.

You are beyond confused. You assume it’s to do with the girl he’s been trying to get over – you hope he’s been trying to build the confidence to tell you exactly what happened and maybe, you really hope, he’ll invite you over for the weekend so you can slip back into your old routine.

“Psst.”

You assume they’re not trying to get your attention, so you don’t move.

“Psst!”

You still don’t move.

“Y/N!”

Your head snaps up to Spencer leaning over the divider between your desks. He looks alarmed – which is odd, given he’s the one who called you – and he opens and closes his mouth a few times before he finally speaks.

“Are you busy tonight?” He sits back and, if he wasn’t so goddamn tall, all you’d be able to see would be his eyes. His added height means you can see his eyes and his nose. You wanna kiss it.

You smile – this is an olive branch, “I am completely available for whatever it is you might need.”

You sound incredibly eager, which you are. You miss him.

His cheeks move upwards, a smile, “Can I talk to you, later, on the roof? Uh-“ He clears his throat, “-I need to tell you something.”

You raise an eyebrow, “You’re not gonna push me off, right?”

“No,” He laughs.

“Promise me.”

Now he guffaws, “I would never, Y/N!”

“Promise me, Reid!”

“Alright, alright! I promise!” He’s jokingly raising his hands in a form of surrender.

You give him another smile and turn back to your work. You feel at ease, now, thinking he’s finally gonna tell you what happened on the weekend – finally you’ll be able to help him and go back to normal.

Spencer, on the other hand, is the exact opposite of ease. He’s about to pour his heart out to you.

He takes a deep breath and looks back to his computer, which is open on a tab titled “How to Tell Someone You Like Them.”

Step 3: Be Confident.

Spencer opens a new tab and searches, “How to be confident.”

+++

Garcia hacks into Spencer’s computer to open a document and type that the roof is ready. She wishes him luck, tells him she loves him, and calls dibs on being the godmother of your future children. As if she doesn’t have enough godchildren as it is.

He clears his throat and your head snaps towards him. You’ve been done for a while, playing Tetris on your phone, waiting for Spencer to take you to the roof where he swears he won’t kill you – you’re not entirely convinced.

“Um-“ He scratches his neck, “You ready to go?”

You nod and give him a weak smile in hopes it gives him some type of reassurance.

“Whatever happened, it’s okay, Spence.”

All he does is nod in return, gathering his coat and bag. He doesn’t really register what you say, or he would’ve been very confused.

You follow him up to the roof. The elevator ride is silent and Spencer is jittery; his hands twitch and tap against his legs, he’s bouncing on his toes and he keeps looking at you through the corner of his eye. You’ve taken several deep breaths to calm your racing heart – you hate heights, and this is the closest you’ve been to Spencer in a week. This will be the longest conversation you’ve had with him in a week, too.

The second the doors open, Spencer leaps in front of you.

“Wait!”

You jump back in surprise, “What? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. Completely fine. Just… when we get there, let me explain first, okay? Before you say anything.” He’s pleading, as if you’ve already told him no. You look at him with furrowed brows and mumble an ‘okay’.

You’re visibly confused as you trek up the flight of stairs to the roof. Spencer pushes open the fire door and the first thing you notice is how bright the roof is – you always assumed it’d be dark, little light, especially at night like this.

Wait.

There’s fairy lights… everywhere. You’re pretty sure this isn’t the norm for the FBI roof.

Spencer is equally as awed at what he sees before him - it’s exactly the photo he saw in Garcia’s cave brought to life, but he’s too distracted by you to fully appreciate it. You look like a child on Christmas; eyes wide, pupils blown, mouth slightly agape. You’re gorgeous.

“What…is this, Spence?” You wonder, noticing the set table, fingers grazing the roses that sit in a vase in the middle. They’re fresh and smell wonderful.

He stands a little behind you, fiddling with his hands, and clears his throat, “Would you like to take a seat?”

You do. When he finally sits, he pours you a glass of wine and you immediately take an anxious sip. Although Rossi is a big fan of wine, you rarely take interest in it only when Spencer’s involved. You’ve come to associate wine with him – a smile peeks out from your glass as you stare at the man opposite you.

“I need to get something off my chest. But there’s cookies, if you want one,” He picks one up from his plate, breaking it in half and giving it to you. He’s stalling, but you seem to take the bait and bite into it.

“Are these from the bakery two blocks away?”

“Yeah,” He replies, but he isn’t really paying attention. He doesn’t know where to begin.

You wait patiently for him to open up. You’re still unsure of what to make of all of this – the beautiful setting, the wine, the flowers, the lights. God, the lights are dazzling in the Virginia night sky. You need context, and you need it now.

“Spence-“

“Listen.”

“Oh.”

“Sorry, I just…” He trails off, “I need to say what I need to say before I back out again.”

You fold your hands in your lap. You’re ready for whatever’s to come.

“Do you know how long we’ve known eachother?” He asks. His head tilts like a puppy.

“Nearly five years. Our friendaversary is coming up, you know.”

You realise, then, that this must be a celebration for that – that explains the… typically romantic setting. Before you can open your mouth to ask if that what’s this is, Spencer speaks.

“Four years, three-hundred and sixty days. That’s how long we’ve known eachother.”

“If we were dating, we would’ve been my longest relationship the second we passed a year.”

You don’t know why you said it, but it flusters him. He has to pause to take a breath and collect his thoughts.

“I’ve been in love with you for four years and three hundred and fifty-eight days, Y/N.”

It’s silent as you process and he figures out how to continue.

“I knew you were special when you were introduced to us. Hotch already had such a soft spot for you, and you had this way about you that made us all fall in love instantly. I remember Garcia did a background check the second she found out your name and she said you remind her of me and I… that freaked me out, to be honest. I thought you’d try to replace me.” He huffs a laugh, but can’t bring himself to look you in the eye, “I realised I was in love with you when you drunkenly defended me. Do you remember that?” His eyes flicker to yours for half a second – you’re wide-eyed, “You’d known me for two days at that point, but we’d already done a case together so we were celebrating. And these guys at the bar were whispering about me, acting like I couldn’t hear them, and the second you realised what was happening you stood up, stormed towards them and gave them a piece of your mind. It was incredible.

“You barely knew me, at least personally, but you thought so highly of me you scolded a group of drunk bodybuilders without a second thought. You made them apologise – it was hysterical watching someone half their size force them into submission like that – and when you were done you asked if I wanted to leave and go get ice cream. We couldn’t, cause you vomited on the way there, but I knew in that moment I loved you and I feel so hard, so quickly, I didn’t know what to do. And you never… you never indicated you thought of me as anything other than a friend so I didn’t try. Then you dated Greg who, in my opinion, sucked on his best days, and you encouraged me to date Abigail and I…”

He’s run out of breath and of things to say.

“I just love you, Y/N. I’m in love with you.” He adds, “I hope that’s okay.”

He finally looks at you, then. You’re just staring and he panics when he can’t make out what you’re feeling. He’s always been able to read you, you’ve always hated the saying that eyes are the windows to the soul because your eyes are always your tell, but now they’re… glassy.

You’re crying.

“Spencer…” You gasp, throat tight.

“It’s okay.” Spencer gives a tight-lipped smile. He knows what’s coming. He should’ve expected it. He has been expecting it.

“I love you too, Spence.”

Spencer chokes on air. He takes a gulp of wine.

You give him a teary smile in disbelief, “I’ve always loved you, Spence. I thought you knew that – I thought that big brain of yours knew exactly how I felt and… you didn’t do anything about it so I thought you didn’t feel the same. Spencer…”

He slowly moves a hand to place it palm-up on the table. Immediately you place your hand in his, your grip tight as you lovingly stare at him. This feels unreal.

“I’m in love with you too, you idiot.” You half laugh, half cry, “If you’ve really loved me this long, we’ve wasted so much time! God, we’re both idiots.”

Spencer’s crying too, now, and he starts laughing with you.

You’re two idiots in love, sitting opposite eachother on the roof of your place of work in a dream-like surrounding filled with fairy lights and flowers, and you could’ve been doing this for years.

Spencer sniffles, looking at you through his wet eyelashes, “Would you like to be my girlfriend?”

“If I say yes, will I get more dates like this?” You tease.

“Well, Garcia has a whole evidence board of date ideas she stole from Pinterest. We have enough ideas to last a lifetime.” He giggles.

“Penny was in on this?!”

Spencer gives a heh, “This is all thanks to her, so yeah.”

“She’s always had our backs.”

“She’s also now going to be convinced she’s cupid.”

You laugh again, and can’t help yourself when you lean across the table, still gripping Spencer’s hand, and letting your lips fall on his. Spencer leans into you, lips moving against yours as you both try to suppress grins.

You pull back slightly, Spencer’s lips following you, and whisper, “I would love to be your girlfriend.”

He kisses you again. And again. And again, just cause he can.

Big plan, big payoff. You’re worth every little stress and more.

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fanfic #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds fanfic #mine #garcia is watching everything through the security cameras btw #you think she'd do all this and NOT watch her hard work flourish?#think AGAIN

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mypimpademia · 4 years ago

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Hi! If you aren't too busy or anything, I'd like to request Izuku, Kristina, and Mirio x reader where the reader has ADHD and is super incredibly behind on homework and is really stressed about getting everything done (online school and executive dysfunction is a terrible combination, I'm so behind on everything but I just can't get myself to start working...)

Midoriya x adhd!reader, Kirishima x adhd!reader, Mirio x adhd!reader

TW: Maybe some swearing

Note: online school fucking sucks, couldn't imagine having adhd on top of it. But I believe that you'll get through it, so good luck anon :)))

Also, im guessing and hoping you meant kirishima😭

For plot purposes, this takes place during fall break

Taglist: @myhoodacademia @bnhainthewoo @iiminibattlehero @ecao @v-vpluto @cheerfulpeople1234 @strawberry-ice @mixxfi @renzai @liltodo @wolfkid22 @mythiccheroacademia @myfandemons @melanimed @sheepydumpling

MIDORIYA.

You call Midoriya over to talk to him about how stressed you are with your work

He can't really relate to what your saying, nor can he fully understood since he doesn't have adhd, but he promises to help you to the best of his abilities

"I'm sorry youre so stressed baby... I dont know how much help I can be but I'll try!"

He starts by helping you email Mr. Aizawa and the rest of your teachers about your struggle with adhd, and asks that they excuse you for late work, and maybe even extend the date on any projects you have

"I'm glad its fall break... now we'll have more than enough time to work on everything!"

Izuku sets up a schedule for the entire week on everything you need to work on

It has work times labeled with what exactly you should be working on at that time (projects, regular assignments, any late tests, etc.), break times, and the days are split up by subject

"Alright so, we'll work on all your core classes first from Saturday to Tuesday since those a priority... then we can work on your elective classes Wednesday through Saturday. Oh, that should give you Sunday off to work on any assignments we missed."

It sounds like a lot to you at first, but when he actually gives you the schedule, he organized it perfectly so you could go about your daily routine while still getting caught up on school

Izuku clears your entire room from any distractions first, unplugs the TV and turns it around, puts away any toys you might have, takes your phone and turns it off, and uses his phone to set all the alarms

Izuku sits right next to you while you do all your work, and helps you when you need it, occasionally tapping you when you start to zone out

During your breaks, he lets you get water, have your phone for awhile, eat if youre hungry, and Izuku cuddles you and tells you youre doing a great job

You manage to finish everything by the end of the break, and get the highest possible grade you can in every class

Izuku treats you by taking you to your favorite restaurant :)

KIRISHIMA.

You call him crying about how stressed you are with school, and hes immediately determined to help you because you're his s/o and he loves you, plus its the manly thing to do

Eijiro rushed to your dorm, all his notes (especially the ones bakugo helped him on) and textbooks in hand

He puts your TV remote far out of reach, and puts the batteries to it in a separate place, takes your phone and other electronics and shuts them off, and uses his phone as a timer

"Alright, let's start with (insert subject youre most behind on)."

You both work on as many assignments as you can with 30 minutes on the clock before you get a 5 minute break

While you type everything down, Eijiro uses his phone to get the answers so you can tag team your work to make it easier, and he gets you back on track when ever you get distracted

Once the w 30 minutes is up, he gives you your phone and sets his five minute timer

You do this routine about 2 more times... but Eijiro doesn't exactly have the best attention span either

So he ends up forgetting to set a timer for your breaks, and next thing you know its been an hour since you did your work

Eijiro calls up Bakugo to come help since he can hardly even keep time

Bakugo yells at him over the phone, but comes in 5 mins later

He takes Eijiros job of getting the answers, while Eijiro is assigned time keeper as well as having the job of keeping you on track

You work for a total of 4 hours, and then you're done for the day

Bakugo recommends repeating the process for another week, so you can work on one period a day

You and Eiji thank him for helping, and Eijiro tells bakugo he doesn't have to help anymore

He promises that he'll help you without getting Bakugo

"I promise to help you without calling anyone else over! It was just today, you're my s/o, I'm supposed to help you. Plus, it's the manly thing to do!"

You manage to finish it all the Tuesday after break

It took a little longer, and you finished late than you wanted, but you were relieved to be finish

You, Eiji, and the rest of Bakusquad went to a bakery to celebrate:)

MIRIO.

You didn't even have to tell him

He already knew you were struggling, so he popped over to your dorm one day with textbooks and notes

"Alright Sunshine, let's start on this work, shall we?"

He lets you set everything up while he puts away all distractions

Unplugs your TV and turns it around, takes your phone and shuts it off, puts away any other electronic device or toy of some sort, or anything else that could distract you

"Alright, lets start with the class you have the least work in!"

Eases you into your work

You start off by doing as much work as you can with 30 minutes on the clock before you get a 5 minute break

When the timer goes off, you get your phone, but its right back to work after 5 minutes

But he adds 30 minutes, and has you work for an hour and then gives you a 10 minute break

Taps you when he thinks you're zoning out even a little, and gives you check ins

"Everything alright, Pumpkin?"

After the hour is up and you get you break then he adds 15 minutes and gives you a 12 minute break, and so on...

He stops when you've been working for about 3 hours for a quick lunch break

Mirio makes sure you eat a good meal to help you focus a little more

You end up working a full 8 hours, but it honestly felt shorter with Mirio helping you

You manage to finish everything in just 5 days

Mirio takes you to a little bakery by campus as a treat

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whatgaviiformes · 3 years ago

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The Personal Trash

Okay, I needed the catharsis of writing this out, but I am throwing it under a read more because I honestly don’t expect anyone to read this. Family shit below

I feel like before I start I have to say first I love my husband very much and am continually excited by the life we are and have been building together, and the only goddamn constant in these circumstances is that he is my best friend always.

The second part of this before I jump in is that his mother, my mother-in-law lives with us, and there are parts of this story I can’t tell because it’s her story and I am not that kind of person. One of the things I love about him is his loyalty to family. I am the same way. Living with elders does not make me bat an eyelid - they’ve taken care of us, it feels comforting that we can take care of them.

But I need to share the context of our home - it’s a 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom townhouse with the three of us, three dogs, with almost every space shared. One kitchen, one living room. It’s a small place. My husband purchased the house in September 2014, and it was around when we started dating. One of our first outings was his housewarming. It was, and still is, a starter home.

So since he’s had the home, I’ve been around - starting with a weekends, back and forth, and finally a moved in in 2017, married in 2019, and now we are here. Four years later.

We’ve talked upsizing, getting an in law place if we can. But the housing market is a sellers market at the moment, and things have been good. For four years.

For four years, the family unit has been the three of us. We’ve all contributed in different ways, and in that time, MIL has retired, husband has switched jobs a few times, and mine has been constant. And I *adore* my job. But it keeps me incredibly busy, overwhelmed often. Work-life balance is a bit of a joke for sure. Like anywhere there are days that I’ve gotten off work and cried. Or, checked out mentally that I couldn’t engage in other things. It’s can be intense, but its rewarding. And there was a period through the past few years where I was the source of income keeping our heads above water. And we were - we were fine. But it put a lot of stress on me.

In the meantime there have been some health issues - which I will gloss over. Not my story. But MIL has had few different things, on top of us worrying about COVID. We’ve taken her to some different appointments and such.

We had one such scare two weekends ago, and it kind was a catalyst to a bunch of other stuff that I’ve been dealing with behind the scenes lately. So on Sunday, husband and I went to the grocery store (she was supposed to go on a trip for four days or so) so we were going to use the opportunity to cook a few things together, and we needed to replenish. We were about to grab lunch, and called to see if she wanted anything, and she told him then she wanted to be taken to the hospital. She told us a few days earlier she was having some problems, but only mentioned to my husband that she was worried this might happen. But to me this forewarning was not mentioned, and I was only told because he advised her that she needed to be upfront of what was going on. (For the record, she still was vague).

This ^ will be a theme.

So we skipped lunch, came back home, I unloaded the food and started putting stuff away because he and I agreed that’s what we do and I told him to keep me updated, and she left without saying anything to me or vice versa. Husband comes home because COVID means you can’t stay with anyone. Also no beds, so it took awhile (F*CKING GET VACCINATED PEOPLE SO PEOPLE WHO DO EVERYTHING RIGHT AREN’T LAID UP FOR YOUR STUPIDITY -alsoyesiknowthereareotherreasonspeopleareinthehospitalforcovidjustgivemethisimfrustrated)

11:30 PM that night we picked her back up. It was late, I was tired. A few days later she tells us that she had a lot of time to think while at the hospital, and tells us she is going to move out.

First - you know what we did while she was in the hospital? We freaking worried. Okay - so all of that is facts, details, and I’ve gotten you caught up to the this-happened-then-this-happened. The rest of this is feelings so buckle the fuck up

Husband - immediately lashes out because he doesn’t like the reasons (still doesn’t) and I find out that there was a conversation the day before between the two of them I wasn’t a part of - and he felt because she was not being honest with me, he was forced to have to lie to me, his wife, and didn’t like that feeling.

Me - feeling confused, a little like this is out of left field, and only not completely surprised because this has happened before with husband telling me, and then it never happening, we misunderstanding. and more times than not it never made it from her mouth to my ears. Also it was never for *this* reason. See how this escalates more below.

Husband- “I had to learn to live with strangers, and you just can’t stand not being in control” Me - so wait I am a stranger now?

Husband - do you even like my wife...

and so on. So apparently everything I thought I knew about our home changed in the course of this conversation. What I was able to get out of the cacophony of chaos is that I am insensitive because I don’t interact with her the way she expects me to? And she feels like she’s intruding all the time, despite us assuring her she’s not, inviting her to game nights, and in general sharing in the things that you do as a family like vacations and dinners. And the more we argued, the more little things came out and little clues. She’s mentioned leaving before, almost on a 6 month cycle, and the last time was this one -

So like... when we got Della, and three days in she was like “If they don’t get along I’m going to take Dino and my own place” and so like... hold up, you can’t just throw away a comment like that. They’ve barely gotten a chance to know each other. (they are fine by the way. Della is a puppy and gets in his face a bit, but she’s still learning. They play, sleep together fine, and we are constantly taking care of the fur kids).

And from what I get from the comments to leave - because shit there’s still so many pieces to this I feel like I am missing -she will rationalize other reasons like the dog example above.

So when this happens it sends my husband in a spiral, he tells me because she won’t say anything, and the one time we did try to have a conversation about it, she shut down and made it sounds like he misunderstood and made him out to be the asshole. Then in the same breath tell him its not his job to fix everything as a stab at me, but like continue to talk only to him when it involves everyone.

I don’t know if that makes sense. A lot happens without me involved.

So then - those clues - the hints that all of this is really about me:

health - i stopped asking because she stopped telling me things, so how am I supposed to know what she can and can’t do. but im at fault for like... not asking. but she’s not telling.

home - apparently my understanding and my husbands understanding about the stuff she does around the house - some cleaning, groceries (we pay for) and loading dishwasher, cooking sometimes,. We thought she liked doing them to help around the house, and she’s never told us differently. EDIT- no, she’s told us she likes to help. Cue - you can stop right there, I am an adult and I never asked you to clean up after me.

I feel like whatever feelings she has for me started a long time ago, and she continued to let them harbor instead of talking to me about it, until it got to the point where it couldn’t really be solved.

I mean, I am not lacking the self-awareness to recognize that, yeah, I can be messy, and yeah, I can be single minded. There are days where my husband is talking me and I just space answering him because I can’t or or I just mentally lose it in processing.

I am seeing this mirror reflected back at me of like - I have all these expectations for you, and you are a problem and, but like.... it kind of goes both ways? And I feel like you’ve made these circumstances yourself? And if you want to leave that’s fine, but its not from our doing?

And so in the end *I* feel like I am the one under scrutiny for everything I do or say and how I interact in my home. And it feels like selfishness, and self-victimizing behavior that I’ve seen time and time again, and I don’t really see a way out.

So husband just wants to keep the family together, he’s taking this to heart - its his mom, and there are feelings there about how they’ve provided for each other. He would feel differently if they got the house and she moved in with him under the notion that she was going to save, get her own place. But it wasn’t, and so he has this weight on his shoulders for it, for failing in some way.

And I - well. I didn’t really realize the family unit we had wasn’t working... at least to that extent and that it stemmed from me and I’m really hurt by it. Aside from the stuff above, I am really easy going - I try to give everyone space, and make everyone happy. I shut down if I am processing something. I’ve never intentionally tried to make her feel unwelcome. I’ve invited her to my family vacations, we’ve all equally enjoyed dinner’s out.

And though I’d be willing to try to do better, i am absolutely livid that this conversation waited until it was at its worst. So now I don’t really want to try to do better because I am mad and hurt, and don’t feel like my sacrifices or contributions are being acknowledged, nor do I think she will do the same thing to be self-reflective and recognize her own part of all this. And above all things, I truly hate to be misunderstood. And I will completely shut down under that kind of self-victimizing behavior and thoughtlessness to other people. I don’t want to lose myself over this, in my own home.

So neither path is really an easy or right solution. She moves out, husband loses a bit of respect in her and the relationship they have.. She stays, recognizing your own part in lack of communication is a long term thing, and I have to feel this awkward limbo for that whole process.. if it even gets there.

I feel like I am walking on eggshells constantly.

I should never have to question if a “Hello” will be taken the right way and that’s how i fucking feel.

#personal trash #cursing

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black-streak · 5 years ago

Text

Saturday Night's Alright for Fighting (but Sundays are meant for rest) - The Beginning

Part 1

So I came up with this partially fleshed out idea on discord and decided to try writing a prequel of sorts to my HCs? Anyways, Mari is like 20ish and Tim is around 25 here. Pre-relationship.

~---~

Marinette would forever be grateful that she had memorized the layout of the manor back in her first few visits. Otherwise she would have been absolutely lost by now; her sleep addled mind unwilling to give a single thought as to where she was walking. The only thought she could process was a cry for coffee whispering like a mantra through the back of her mind.

Turning a seemingly random corner, she found herself in the side kitchen standing in front of the coffee maker, already holding a fresh pot of the heavenly smelling life elixir. Okay, that's a bit dramatic, but whatever, it's 3 am and she's entitled to her theatrics.

Pouring a cup into her favorite mug, having had it appear before her despite not recalling retrieving it, she held it close and made way to the sit-in table, slumping down into the closest seat.

It took about 10 minutes and half her mug down to realise she wasn't alone in the room. Turning her head slightly, she spotted Tim typing away at his laptop, his own mug just to the right of her arm.

'When the hell did he get there?' She couldn't remember hearing any footsteps or the coffee pot pouring but then… she also didn't remember turning it on…. 'He's been here the whole time, hasn't he?'

Turning back towards her own, she finished off the cup and got up to retrieve the pot, moving over to fill both of their mugs before returning it to its holder only to drop back into her seat beside him, leaning closer to see what he was working on.

"Thanks."

Jumping slightly, she just blinked at him for a moment, then gave a slight nod.

"Couldn't sleep?" Tim glanced at her, inquiry quiet and half incoherent in its murmur.

Humming softly she considered before truthfully admitting, "Rarely can."

"Damian asleep then?"

"Probably."

"You're not sure?"

"Didn't want to check his room and bother him if he was. Plus, he'd be cranky if I woke him for no reason."

That seemed to catch Tim's attention for whatever reason, because he turned his eyes off the document to look at her fully now.

"You don't sleep in his room?"

"Nah. I tend to cuddle in my sleep and he can't stand being confined like that. Puts him on edge, I think."

That only prompted an even more perplexed look from him. Unable to process that with so little sleep, she turned back to looking over his shoulder, trying to read what Tim was working on. Giving up, she looked back up to him.

"Whatcha working on?"

"Eh, just some last minute paperwork for a new deal WE is suppose to be negotiating next week."

"... At 3am?"

"You judging me," he asked, lifting one eyebrow slightly in amusement at the hypocrisy.

"You said the deal is for next week."

"It is. But if I get it done now, it's one less thing to stress over at the last second."

"But if you read it on a sleep deprived mind, you're less likely to recall anything you typed up. Meaning you'll have to reread it…. And depending on how dead tired you are, might have to rewrite it. Who knows what sleepy you thinks makes a good deal?"

"Hey! Sleepy me is perfectly capable of working without my brain's input."

Leaning over the counter to rest on her crossed arms, Mari tilted her head slightly to pout up at him.

"Yes but perhaps it'd be best to do so tomorrow and get your brain's input at the same time to save time? Come on, just put on a video or something mindless. I'll keep you company."

Her logic was sound. There was no argument Tim could give that would actually work in his favor on the matter, but hearing a slight sigh of defeat still gave her an immense sense of victory. Peering over at her, he decided turnaround was fair.

"Alright… but if we're not going to work, you should be trying to sleep. Im cutting you off." He said, pulling her mug out of her reach only to find it empty. Sighing, he moved to set it in the sink only to see her take up his own, carrying it over as well.

"In that case, so should you," she smirked, washing out both mugs and setting them to dry before taking up his laptop, grabbing his wrist, and tugging him towards the living room.

'How did I not see that coming? That was the obvious outcome… when Was the last time I slept,' Tim wondered, not really paying mind to Mari as she situated them both on the couch, turning the screen to face them both from the coffee table, youtube pulled up and a vine compilation being queued up to play.

…..

Half an hour later, the two were passing jokes back and forth, sleepy giggles and references whispered into the dark room, laptop forgotten and asleep before them, both too out of it to think of moving back to their rooms. Only to be broken up by a mewling yawn, Mari slumping further down, sleep finally pulling at her.

It didn't quite hit Tim that something about the situation was slightly off till Marinette curled into him from where he slouched into the corner of the couch, head dropping onto his chest.

Ah, Fuck. Damian was going to kill him.

Nudging her slightly till she hummed to him, he tried to gently wake her back up fully.

"Mari, shouldn't you go back to your room now?"

It had the opposite effect.

Mari sprung up, eyes wide, blush flushing up her cheeks, seemingly not having realized she had been cuddling up to him till just then.

"I am so sorry. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable! I keep forgetting you guys like warning beforehand. Either way I should have asked if you minded though. That was so invasive of me and the last thing I want is to invade your space when it's not warranted or wanted. I promise it won't happen again Tim, I'm so sorry."

Finally stopping to take a deep breath from her rambling, Tim jumped in, panicking to think he was causing her distress.

"No no, Marinette, it's fine! You're a very tactile person and frankly I don't mind it. I just know Damian wouldn't like finding you cuddling up to me, or anyone for that matter, especially in the middle of the night when he thought you were in your room, that's all."

That seemed to stop her in her tracks. Settling back down, she fixed him with a thrown look.

"I mean… I know Dami can be protective at times, but I don't think he'd be that upset by it. Maybe a touch put off, but I think he'd tease me more than anything?"

Now he was thrown for a loop. This went against everything he knew about his little brother… that could only mean bad things.

"... Really."

"Yeah, as I said, he knows I'm a cuddly person when I'm tired. Plus, your his brother. At least he knows and trusts you. He'd just make fun of me for being so clingy. Sorry again about that by the way."

Narrowing his eyes, Tim couldn't see a hint that she was lying, but still he had to push to be sure. The last thing he needed was Damian to feel like his position was being threatened. That's what sparked their rivalry the first time after all.

"Hmm... I took Damian to be the possessive type. Especially over someone he was seeing. Trust me, Mari, he's not going to like his girlfriend cuddling anyone. Especially not me."

"Holy Tikki, what?!"

"Tikki?"

" You think… you think Dami and I are dating?!?!"

"Be quiet, you're going to wake someone up!" He rushed out, trying to cover her mouth, only for her to evade, eyes blown wide with shock but still aware enough to dodge his grip.

"No, hold up. You seriously thought we were together?" She spoke in a startled tone, grabbing at his hands to make him stop reaching at her face and concentrate on her words.

Finally giving up on keeping her quiet, Tim actually started processing her words.

"You're… not?"

"No! Of course not! Did he say we were?"

"Well no but… I just assumed. He doesn't like anyone and yet acts like your his personal sunshine."

Giggling, she shook her head, settling back into the couch at his side.

"Yeah, that's only in front of others. Says no one needs to know what a chaotic being I am. His words not mine."

"Oh. So you guys really aren't..?"

"Nope," she chuckled, popping the p, slowly curling back into his side.

Stopping abruptly, she pulled back a bit and glanced up to him, blush dusting the top of her freckled cheeks.

"Is.. Is this okay?"

Now assured that he wouldn't be promptly attacked just for letting Marinette near him, he couldn't see why not. Plus, she obviously took comfort in it and needed sleep. Who knows if she'll find any alone in her room. Wrapping an arm around her and tugging her slowly down, he nodded.

"I already told you I don't mind. Plus, your warm."

Humming her thanks, she burrowed herself under his chin and promptly passed out, Tim following only moments after.

…..

Tim woke up late in the morning, having slid down the cushion and twisted up his limbs with Marinette's who was still half on top of him. By some stroke of luck, they hadn't been disturbed by anyone thus yet. (Dick had already passed through and took a picture to send to the group chat. Who knew the way to make Tim sleep was to pass out on top of him?) Feeling her shift, he looked down to see bleary blue eyes blinking back at him from under messy bangs. A small smile lit her lips and she moved up giving a light kiss to the underside of his jaw, before slowly getting up.

"Thanks Tim. Probably the best sleep I've had in a long time. We should nap sometime…. Maybe watch a movie first," she suggested, flushing but sending a coy, eager look his way.

Nodding, he could only think one thing.

'Welp. She's going to be the death of me."

#timari #timinette #dc x mlb #maribat

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acelikesturtles · 5 years ago

Text

“For The Love of Cake”

Prompt: Bakery AU - Mikey x Gender-Neutral Y/N

Warnings: Profanity

Word Count: 3,885

A/N: Okay so despite what the screenshot looks like, the original prompt came to be from a conversation on discord, but @wacheypena was the one that officially came up with the prompt, @dw-im-just-sad just sent it to me because I consistently have the memory of a goldfish, so credit for the idea totally goes to wachey. @dw-im-just-sad also wrote her own version of this prompt so go check it out on her blog and give her some love!

“Fuck.”

A blast of warm air from the oven hit your face and pushed the stray hairs out of your eyes. Despite how delicious the freshly baked poppy seed muffins smelled, there was no way in hell that these met the signature Paisley's standard. You tucked a loose strand of hair back behind your ear with your free hand as you set the tray down on the steel counter behind the oven. Two other perfectly top-notch batches of muffins from 45 minutes ago sat only a couple inches away, freed from the confines of the muffin tray and sitting pretty on the tabletop cooling rack. You popped one of the new muffins out of the tray and set it on the counter as a half-pout began tugging at the corners of your mouth. All the muffins here were caved in on the top and looked dense and chewy instead of moist and soft like they were supposed to.

You racked your brain, trying to figure out what had gone wrong. You poked the muffin with a toothpick to check the center then sliced it open with a fork to check the inside. Little tendrils of steam escaped from the muffin’s tortured core; a squashed, condensed, pathetic looking center that seemed ashamed of its own existence sitting beside the high and mighty rises that all its cousins had managed to achieve. You figured that in a moment of absent-minded baking you must have put too much baking powder into the batter, thus creating the chewy texture and the catastrophic cave-in on the tops. With a firm frown and a short sigh through the nose in defeat, you picked up the muffin tray and headed towards the back door quietly.

Normally you wouldn’t be so secretive about bad muffins and tossing them in the bin outside, but the manager, Heather, had been cracking down on all the wasted ingredients that went into batches of bread and cupcakes and muffins and cookies that ultimately ended up ruined beyond relief by new-hires. Admittedly these muffins weren’t as bad of a mistake as per the other new-hires’ usual (like leaving whipping cream mixing until it turned into butter), but these sad excuses for poppy seed muffins were still a recognizable mistake that could easily be attributed to you rather than Rosetta, who always managed to forget at least one egg when she made cake batter.

You opened the door to the back alley behind Paisley’s and kicked the rubber doorstep underneath the gap to hold it in place. You balanced the tray in one hand and used the other to lift the lid off the unofficially named “Fuck-Up” can. With a few small taps against the rim of the bin, the muffins tumbled out of the tray and into the trash, only leaving behind the faintest lingering scent as you returned the lid. You wiped the sweat that had gathered on your brow with the back of your hand. Looking up, the sky had turned a shade of pinkened violet that felt reminiscent of the childhood summer sunsets you had enjoyed back home. You checked your watch. Five minutes until the end of your shift. You hauled yourself back inside and began cleaning up your work station with the torn and stained damp rag assigned to your work space.

Your mind felt full with thoughts, heavy even. Five months in New York and aside from securing a relatively nice apartment with only a mildly concerning roach problem and an “only kinda-severely-cramped” bathroom, you weren’t feeling as if you were making much progress like you had maybe anticipated when the opportunity to move had first arisen. You had moved, after all, in the hopes of starting your own café. It would be something small and quiet, a safe space in the heart of the city for people to come and bask in the welcoming atmosphere and enjoy the soft sounds of Lo-Fi playing above their warm cups of coffee and freshly baked cinnamon rolls. You’d donate food to the homeless on Wednesday evenings after closing time, and on Sunday nights the café would host Bingo and Trivia competitions for charity like they did at some of the local bars. The thought of being able to make your dream come true here made you feel immensely grateful to be on the path your heart had been calling you to. Paisley’s was better than being stuck in your hometown selling discount jeans. Right now though, working these grueling hours made you feel even farther away from the finish line than you had thought it would when you started. Rather than a feeling of excited and determined immersion in a career area that would someday be a part of the larger puzzle you longed to complete, Paisley’s felt like a chore that truly nobody enjoyed aside from Heather’s domineering managerial attitude.

You tossed the dirty rag into the laundry bin on the other side of the kitchen and began making your way towards the time clock to punch out for the night. Your aching feet were relieved just knowing that rest was coming soon.

“You headed out for the night?” A coworker asked, bumping into your shoulder while you punched in your employee number.

“Yep,” You stifled a yawn. “Poppy seed muffins at my work station still need to be stored for the catering thing tomorrow, so have somebody do that when you close.”

“Sure thing, on my way to do that right now.” They responded.

You finished clocking out and lazily shuffled back through the kitchen towards the rear door again, now fully caught in a yawn. You opened the door and took two steps outside before waiting to hear the slam and the click of the lock behind you, finalizing the official end of your shift. Now that you were outside though, something felt off. You glanced down at the “Fuck-Up” bin. The lid was ajar instead of firmly placed like it had been when you had messed with it earlier. Perplexed, you picked up the lid and peered inside the can only to find it empty of the muffins you had tossed in there before. Bizarre, but not unheard of. Paisley’s didn’t donate any of their leftover food to homeless shelters and you had heard from your coworkers that the homeless often peruse through the large dumpster behind the bakery for scraps hoping that the trashed food wasn’t as bad as employees thought. You could hardly blame them for trying. One company’s terrible batch of cookies is another man’s saving grace. At least someone was making use of your mistake.

You yawned again, shuffling down the concrete steps towards your neon green motorbike. You knelt down to unlock the chain holding it to the company bike rack, absently humming some commercial jingle that had been stuck in your head for the last day or two. Once the lock was completely freed you stuffed it into your bag, kicked the kickstand back up, and fished your keys out of your pocket to turn the ignition. Just as the motor began to sputter to life, you heard shuffling feet and a faint and stifled cough echo in the alley around you. It was near impossible to not feel spooked or even just a little bothered at the thought that the person from earlier could still be lurking in the alley, even if you had no real proof that they were harmful. You had heard too many horror stories and seen too many documentaries to be foolish. Not taking any chances, you hopped onto your motorbike and immediately hit the gas, taking a sharp turn into the street and not daring to look behind you. You could have just been paranoid of course, squirrels and other animals liked to dig through their trash and make noise in the alley too, but when confronted with the silliness of the concept of hundreds of rats carrying the muffins away you found yourself instead hoping that the person that had fished through their trash had gotten what they needed (and that they wouldn’t still be there by morning).

-----------------------------------------

The next morning as you came up the back steps to the kitchen you noticed a bright yellow post-it note stuck to the lid of the “Fuck-Up” bin that hadn’t been there the night before. At first you hesitated to read the note. There was an anxious pang in your gut that made you feel uneasy about it in a way that you couldn’t put you finger on. You reached your hand forward to open the door to the kitchen, but found your hand only hovering over the knob with no real intent of going in yet. You needed the closure that would likely come with reading the note, even if it was a little intimidating, the thought of someone interacting with you by way of your ruined poppy seed muffins. You plucked the sticky note from the rusty lid and held it up to your eyes, squinting to read the chicken scratch.

“Hey dude! These ones were not my favorites but still yummy! Get me some oatmeal cookies next time, the crispy ones! Those are fuckin’ delicious! -MC Mikey.”

Your face scrunched up in confusion. Was this person seriously asking for more rejects? The only crispy oatmeal cookies that Paisley’s made that ended up in that bin were overcooked or half burnt, unless…did they think that this was a donation bin? Confused, you pushed your way through entrance and into the kitchen, claimed an empty work station, and headed over to the time clock to punch in your employee number. You were suddenly feeling a little bit more concerned for this individual than you did afraid of them. Maybe this was just someone ridiculously naïve. Maybe this was a kid that didn’t know any better and liked the smell that the trash behind Paisley’s had. Your sympathy had kicked in alongside a compulsive desire to bake those requested oatmeal cookies, and once you’d returned to your station you began flipping through the company cookbook for the recipe so you could sneak a mini-batch in-between actual requests.

After about 20 minutes, you pulled the first batch of cookies out of the oven and pushed the next sheet in. The smell was heavenly, an intoxicating mix of warm vanilla and cinnamon that made you salivate at first whiff. You picked up a cookie to check for the soft texture that was so characteristic for the recipe and sighed in relief when they pulled apart just like desserts did in those viral Instagram videos, softly and delicately. Hopefully these cookies would become this stranger’s new favorite. Whoever this was could have the experience of a real oatmeal cookie without the element of burnt edges interfering with the flavor, and the thought of being able to provide that joy was enough to put a little more pep in your step than was there before.

Several hours, a lunch break, and a couple run-ins with your bitch-of-a-manager later, you found yourself in front of the time clock again with a small Ziploc baggie of oatmeal cookies secured in your bag. They wouldn’t be as fresh as they were when they first came out of the oven unfortunately, but they’d still taste better than burnt and crispy cookies--that you were at least certain of. Once you’d finished punching in your employee number you made your way towards the back door as quickly as you could with aching arches and a stiff lower back. You stepped out onto the concrete stairs and waited for the latch behind you to click before making your way down the steps with one hand firmly grasped on the chipped railing beside you while the other dug around in your half-zipped bag for your keys and the Ziploc filled with cookies.

Your sneakers hit the alley and you let out a loud yawn while rolling your neck from shoulder to shoulder. You turned towards the “Fuck-Up” bin and gently placed the baggie on top of the lid. Should you have left a note? Would this person even care if there was a note as long as the cargo inside was sealed away from the elements? You let a puff of air out through your nose and let the worry roll of your shoulders as you turned back towards where you had parked your bike, keys jangling in hand. Just as you were about to reach your bike, you heard the shuffling sound again. Without hesitation you turned on your heel and looked back towards the garbage bins. Nothing had changed, nobody was there, but the noise of muffled footsteps said otherwise. This time you didn’t feel like running as much as you did like investigating the source of the noise to ease your curiosity to rest. You kept one hand firmly gripped on your pepper spray, and slowly stepped forwards, stopping at about the halfway point between you and the trash.

“Anybody there?” You called out. Your voice sounded particularly sick and crackly from the long work day. There weren’t any response and the sounds in the alley went dead quiet to underscore the sound of your own breathing instead. “If you’re the one who came by yesterday digging through our trash-” You started, wincing at your own condescending tone. You sounded so harsh, especially considering the fact that this could easily be a child based on what the handwriting had seemed like. “Sorry, I…I left you some oatmeal cookies. They’re on the lid.” You spoke softer, gesturing towards the “Fuck-Up” bin vaguely. The silence persisted. Now you were beginning to feel uneasy. The hairs on the back of your neck were practically standing up and you were beginning to think that you had either gone crazy or that maybe you were dealing with some kind of back-alley ghost.

Do ghosts even eat? Can ghosts even eat?

Without warning, a large hand partially cloaked by shadows broke free from the dumpster and began swiping in the general direction of where you had left the Ziploc bag. It would almost be comparable to a scene from a horror movie if the hand and the arm didn’t seem so clueless and desperate to get to the baggie. You fought back a smile and took a couple steps closer. You still had a grip on your concealed pepper spray just in case, but the thought of the stranger assaulting you was fading from the forefront of your mind. It wasn’t until you got close enough to see that this person’s hand was noticeably malformed—only two large fingers and a thumb—that fear was pushed onto the main burner once again. Clearly frustrated with the whole ordeal, the head and shoulders the appendage was attached to slammed up against the top of the dumpster and pushed the lid up against the wall behind him. That’s when he made almost immediate eye contact with you. Crystal blue eyes clashed against orange fabric and scaly green skin in a way that shocked your system to your core. This wasn’t a child, and it wasn’t a human, and it wasn’t, as far as you could gather, anywhere in between. A large shell was fused to his skin in a way that further broke your perception of reality as you tried to rationalize what you were seeing without thinking about costumes or special effects makeup or even aliens. You stood in shock for a moment, unblinking, watching as he strained to reach the baggie in front of him. He poked his tongue out and grunted as he stretched over the side of the dumpster, just barely missing the Ziploc with each swing of his arm.

“Dude, you could at least help!” He groaned, collapsing his upper body over the side of the dumpster in defeat.

You blinked and suddenly you were forced back into reality…or at least, whatever reality this was.

You took several more steps forward and snatched the Ziploc up in your hands, gently handing it to the…creature that was currently in the company dumpster. You had so many questions you needed to ask, too many questions, and without even opening your mouth the turtle began answering at least some of them one-by-one while shoving oatmeal cookies down his throat.

“I see you’re kiiiinda freaked out, and that’s okay! I get it, Mikey’s just so overwhelming to the ladies,” He said with a smug grin. “Turtle, mutant, ninja, sex god, what isn’t there to love angelcakes?” Your carefully baked batch of oatmeal cookies were disappearing in seconds, miniscule in comparison to the size and capacity of his stomach. “Oh, also?” He spoke through a mouthful of crumbs, spewing half-chewed chunks of oats and sugar all over the concrete beneath them. “These could use more cinnamon.”

“I-“ You hesitated for a moment. Your mind was filled to the brim with unfinished thoughts and rabbit trail theories about how Mikey himself was even possible (that is, if you weren’t dreaming) but they all came to a screeching halt when his comment about the cinnamon broke through your occupied mind. “Wait, really? I thought there was plenty, let me try that.” You huffed, snatching a cookie from one of his oversized, mutant hands. Within the first bite you were able to tell that he was right. The cinnamon flavor was more subtle than you had intended; a mere hint of warmth rather than the overwhelming comfort that you had been aiming for. “Oh. Yeah, I-I guess you’re right…Mikey.”

“Yeah, and those cupcakes the other day were-“

“Too much baking powder, I know,” You laughed and shook your head. “Those must’ve tasted gnarly, sorry,” You stopped mid-breath. “Wait. Cupcakes? Those were muffins.”

��Oooohh! So that’s why they didn’t come with frosting,” Mikey laughed. “Well that’s disappointing, I thought I was getting cupcakes. No wonder.” As the turtle crawled out from the dumpster with his empty Ziploc in hand, you became dwarfed beside him. He was tall, but not as menacing as you may have originally assumed. A half smile gradually worked its way onto your face as you looked up at him, trying to avoid grimacing at the smell of liquid garbage dripping all over his body.

“Next time I...I could make you cupcakes if you’d like.” You responded.

Mikey’s eyes looked alive with excitement as he nodded in complete agreement, musing aloud all his favorite flavors and fillings and frostings to you with a childlike delight. First there was snickerdoodle with extra cinnamon, then there was lemon meringue with more meringue than there was lemon. Red velvet with a whipped cream filling, double chocolate fudge with a gooey peanut butter center, tangy orange creamsicle with a tangerine wedge on top. You weren’t taking notes, but you figured that your personal investment in listening to a mutant turtle talk about his own takes on classic (and invented) flavors was enough to hold onto what he said in your memory, even if in the morning it may all seem like a hazy, drug-induced fever dream. You actually found yourself so intrigued with some of his flavor combinations and substitutions that you barely noticed that the grip you had been holding on the pepper spray had been entirely released, instead allowing that hand the freedom to gesture in a more relaxed manner as you articulated.

It wasn’t until the sound of a distant police siren echoing several streets away that the conversation stopped rather abruptly. The sound had grabbed the turtle’s attention in a way that stopped him in the middle of a sentence and replaced his excited expression with one of worry and concern. His eyes fell back towards you. You were searching his expression for a reason behind his troubled gaze just as much as you were looking for a clear answer behind what it was that made him who he was.

“Do you have a Sharpie?” He asked urgently. He looked behind him and over both of your shoulders nervously, as if he was waiting for someone to pounce, and that alone was enough to make you feel on edge again.

“Why?” Bewildered, you began digging in your bag again, searching for a permanent marker. You couldn’t find one but after clarifying that something similar might work, you managed to fish a red ink pen from the depths of your disorganized mess of a bag. Mikey snatched the pen from your hands, pulled the cap off with his teeth and spit it out onto the concrete, then stretched your forearm out in front of him. He scribbled a bunch of numbers rather messily onto your skin. He had accidentally smudged the undried ink a time or two and had to correct it, but when he was finished the string of numbers came out looking exactly like a standard, New-York area phone number. If this was a dream it sure was a detailed dream, you had to at least give it credit for that.

“My digits,” Mikey beamed while making the oh-so-stereotypical ‘call me’ gesture with his hand. “Call me, angelcakes. Unless you don’t want to, then like, don’t call me.” He shrugged. His confident aura practically dripped off of him as he began backing away into the shadows, shell nearly flush against the wall behind him. His hands rested on his holstered nunchakus as the police sirens faded away into the distance.

“Wait,” You faltered. Seeing him leave just as quickly as he had arrived made the flood of jumbled and confused thoughts come rushing back to you all at once. He couldn’t leave now, not when you were just beginning to get a grip on having him be a part of the same reality you were in. “Where are you going? What’s going on? What about the cupcakes?”

“Orange dreamsicle,” Mikey called back with a song in his voice. “Extra orange!” He said with a wink, while gesturing toward the cloth that covered his eyes.

Mikey had vanished into thin air, and just like that, you found yourself immersed in relative silence again. You pinched your forearm but didn’t wake up. You pulled on a singular lock of hair really hard, but didn’t wake up. Whatever you had just witnessed was still your reality, as evidenced by the smudgy red ink on your skin. You blinked once, then twice, then wiped the sweat off of your keys and your pepper spray and began shuffling towards your motorbike again. You turned your keys in the ignition, but when the engine started you didn’t feel the relief that you normally did when you were getting ready to head home from a grueling shift at work. If anything, your energy levels had peaked alongside your need to satiate your newfound curiosity aching in your bones. You pushed the kickstand up, removed the lock, pulled your phone out of your back pocket, and took your seat. You glanced down at your forearm again. The messy red ink was becoming clearer the more you stared at it. Perhaps it was just natural human tendencies at work, or maybe even fate, but the words just seemed to naturally tumble onto your keyboard once you’d copied the smudgy numbers into your contact list.

“Hey, Mikey right? I forgot to tell you my name. It’s Y/N.”

#authoring by ace #acelikesturtles #tmnt #tmnt 2012 #tmnt 2016 #bayverse tmnt #prompt

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mojavehearts · 5 years ago

Text

Fallout 4 Companions react to Strong having a crush on Sole

(REQUESTED!!) (im cackling like a maniac already)

(I know I used this before but...This IS Sole and Strong)

some are them realising it and some are helping him come to the realisation (some of the reacts even work together as one!)

Cait:

Cait watched as Strong stomped back and forth in front of Soles house in Sanctuary, at 4 am, on a Sunday. ‘’Oi buddy! can ya quit yer stompin?’’ she whispers out angrily, putting out her cigarette onto the side of one of the small shacks sole built Strong grumbles under his breath which makes Cait come striding up ‘’what is your problem?!’’ she was trying her best to whisper at least ‘’Strong doesn’t know!’’ he roars back she covers her ears and sighs ‘’Listen big guy, people are tryin to sleep and they cant with you stompin around’’ Strong grumbles again and points at soles door ‘’Strong cant be without master’’ ‘’what you like a lost puppy or somethin’? yer supposed to be a big mean ol’ supermutant’’ Cait scoffs, now leaning against soles house ‘’NO Strong does not want to be, without master near him, makes Strong MAD!’’ Cait’s eyes widen and she backs away slowly ‘’good lord, you better talk to MacCready about that...’’

Curie:

‘’Ah monsieur Strong!’‘ Curie waves strong over in a chirpy tune ‘‘How have our experiments gone so far? any pain? some memories? violent tendencies more than usual?’‘ Curie had gotten some data from some ‘hospital’ of sorts from New Vegas and was testing the medication in does on Strong so far nothing was different of course Strong was already more ‘Put Together’ compared to many supermutants and it had been a very small dose, ‘‘No strong want stop, making head fuzzy! weak!’‘ Curie nods and checks her chart ‘‘When does this usually happen or is it all the time?’‘ Strong stomps his feet slightly ‘‘If Strong is near master it becomes fuzzy! want to stop! need to be strong and protect Master’‘ Curie stops writing down in her notes and freezes ‘‘Oh Mon dieu’‘

Codsworth:

Codsworth is what he calls ‘Smart for an old bot’ he knew from the get go, hes still full of old world ideals so he isn't to keen on it, considering supermutants are known as violent brutes as well, but he warmed up to Strong (well as much as one possibly could if they weren’t sole) and it became quite entertaining for him to watch over a cup of tea and a nice book (he makes the tea for show, sadly he cant drink it) as strong ‘somehow’ gets red when with Sole, it really makes Codsworth rethink many things

Danse:

Danse...Isn’t exactly a fan of supermutants in general, that's just the way he’s wired (haha get it...Ill go)

Strong would always try to size Danse up, whenever he would talk to Sole Strong would be there, either watching intensely with a violent glare or just interrupting whatever he could, so he went up to him and asked what his problem was, guessing it was because he used to be brotherhood and also because...Danse obviously wasn't a fan of him. Strong just stares him down and points a thick green finger to Danse’s chest poking it into him slightly ‘’Sole needs real man, not metal man’’ and walked off leaving Danse to be (the gif above)

Dogmeat:

You know that thing dogs do when they cover their eyes with their paws and or ears as well?...Yeah just that

Deacon:

One word nine letters Terrified

Deacon thought it was kinda cute at first when he would watch strong follow Sole around, in that scary sort of way...in that way where little girls sing ring around the rosy or your child stands beside your bed in the middle of the night and says nothing, but then he noticed things...different things, like how he would rarely let anyone else around Sole, and that one time where they went to the third rail and that person tried to hit on sole and he chucked a tantrum and set the third rail on fire and- OH MY GOD

Piper:

Piper was making her usual rounds around Diamond City, trying to question whoever she could about her new piece ‘’Mirelurks and their MireQuirks’’ when suddenly she saw strong browsing the general supplies store she was confused why he was here alone, things may have changed since Sole came into play but he might still get given a hard time, he scratches his chin and Piper moves closer to greet him ‘’Master friend, Strong need gift for Master, Master gave Strong milk of human kindness’’ Piper thought this was very normal in fact and did help him pick out something, but then he turned to her and said ‘’How do humans show ‘E fec tion’ ‘’ and she froze ‘’Oh wow buddy i’m not the one for that um...Maybe Nicky can help he was married once well- when he was- when he wasn't- wait was he him- yes of course- um - but its- well-’’ Strong had enough of her blubbering and scoffs already walking off to see valentine, Soles gift in hand. Piper breathes out and then in deeply but then starts laughing softly, it was kind of cute really, but she didn’t think Supermutants could feel ..Love?, Piper had already found a new, and better article idea. SCORE

Preston:

Preston sighs softly, wiping the sweat away from under his hat, taking it off to fan himself with it he noticed the ground rumbling slightly beneath him ‘’Strong that you?’’ Preston turns to the direction of the rumbles and places his hat back on, sure enough he was met with big green mean fighting machine, strong. ‘’You know master, what does master like, besides blood and fighting’’ Preston purses his lips in slight confusion an audible ‘huh’ leaving his throat ‘’Strong want say sorry for Third Rail on fire, Mack Ree Dee says I should show sorry with actions’’ Preston scratches the side of his face and stares at the ground for a minute ‘’why don't you go to diamond city? check out the stuff there I’m sure they would like anything from the surplus store’’ Strong grunts in agreement and stomps away again behind Strong stood MacCready with a tilted head and raised eyebrows Preston looks at him completely confused until MacCready takes his two fingers and draws a heart, Preston stands there dumbfounded his gun falling from his hands

Valentine:

It was a slow day for nick, seemed not many people needed help nowadays guess he had Sole to thank for this time off, but he was getting a bit restless with all this sitting around waiting for something, he felt kind of bad for wishing for things to happen but he was sick of the small ‘Lost my cat’ or ‘forgot where my nuka-cola truck was’ and sick of the fact all of those were deacon in different wigs, so when his door opened he was pretty excited he turns his head up quickly and is met with strong slowly trying to squeeze into the door, he struggled for a few minutes before sitting down, and then breaking the chair, but he still sat in place on top of the broken chair on the floor, nick chuckles and rubs at his temples why was the world against him ‘’Strong, great to see you...What do you need?’’ strong was quick to speak ‘’Paper send me but before that pwes ton and then before that mac ree dee and then before him irish lady, and now im here help strong now metal man!’’ nick rubs the lower part of his face and sighs ‘’so...Paper? sent you specifically?’’ strong nods with a grumble ‘’Alright..tell me what you need’’ it was better than seeing deacon in a long blonde wig talking in a high pitch voice about his cheating husband for 5 hours ‘’Strong been told to come to you because you were married and I need to know E fec tion’’ Nicks eyes widen slightly, the pupils whirrling vibrantly this had to be one of deacons tricks ‘’Affection? for whom’’ Strong slams a big green fist on the desk, breaking it, nick pretends the desk is still there for sanity sake and rests his arms in midair ‘’For Master! who else would be good enough for E fec tion’’ Nick could die at that moment ‘’Alright Deacon you can come out now’’ Strong roars angrily ‘’Bald man at settlement!’’ oh god so this was...Serious, nick takes a looooonnngggggg drag of a cigarette and sighs ‘’Alright...ill help ya’’

X6-88:

(petition for me to just use Raymond Holt gifs for X6 considering they are basically,,The same person like the personalities are spot on omg)

All of the companions where sharing their opinions/outlooks on Strongs growing affections on sole/if Sole would return them and all that, Hancock threw in a few sexual jokes (making everyone groan in different tones) while everyone else already knew X6 did not, and he found it obscene

‘‘x6, what do you think about it?’‘ Curie asks with her eyes full of curiosity, as always.

‘‘Absolutely...Not’‘

‘‘What do you mean ‘Absolutely not?’’ Piper asks with a joking scoff

‘‘it is ridiculous at best, there is no way’‘ the other companions sigh at him ‘‘hey it could be a real blossoming love my guy, they will have gorgeous half green babies’‘ Deacon says with a mouthful of carrot X6 looks at him in distaste and turns in his hair ‘‘X6! don't ignore us, stop being a grumpy pants you aren't in the institute anymore! love is real!’‘ Mac says excitedly X6 slowly turns his chair back and stares at him through his glasses

‘‘It might be, but not between sole and the supermutant, now before you complain, i am once again turning in my chair’‘

he will come around

MacCready:

‘’MACK REE DEE!’’Strong stomped up to Mac at INCREDIBLE speed ‘’whoa there strong! you could flatten me buddy’’ he chuckled but he was literally terrified for his life seeing strong run like that ‘’Loud lady says you can help me’’ strong says bluntly ‘’help with what?’’ now mac was interested ‘’I told her I didn’t want to be without Master and she tells me to see you little man’’ MacCready rubs his neck in confusion why would she send strong to him over nothing it was only natural that he would be if he considers Sole his Master ‘’After fire in Third Rail Master was upset at Strong, STRONG CANT STAND IT’’ Mac nodded slightly ‘’uh well...Sometimes a good ‘’hey I’m sorry’’ and some affection, maybe a hug and a gift can work?’’ strong seemed to like that idea ‘’I GO NOW’’ he roars ‘’whoa buddy wait! do you want me to tell Sole you’re leavin? I’m on my way to have dinner with her now’’ dinner!? Strong’s alarms went off in his head and he picks Mac up by his jacket snarling slightly ‘’Dinner?!’’ Maccready stares at strong, confused and terrified ‘’Um yeah...The thing people do to eat? she wanted Duncan and Shaun to meet formally? you were invited remember?’’ ‘’oh’’ strong slowly and gently (for a supermutant) and slightly dusts Mac off and turned away MacCready laughed softly at how strange he could be and then stopped dead in his tracks ‘’Wait what the fu- ‘’

Hancock:

Once the institute was defeated Hancock and Sole both came up with the idea to have a party for everyone at the third rail, all of good neighbour was decorated from top to bottom with funny decor, synth scraps, all of that (much to x6′s dislike, he still went) everything was fine and dandy, everyone was partying it up, Magnolia switched It up for the night and was singing some upbeat party tunes, and then some random stumbled up to Sole, Hancock watched for a distance he knew Sole could handle themselves so he just watched silently, it was chill and all until Strong war cried, threw the person into some lit candles which then got caught on a decoration and set it on fire and then in shock some people bumped into each other and started fighting AND THEN as everything was going to shit Sole had to jump up to Strong to avoid the fire as it pooled around them, the way strong held onto Sole, told him enough whether supermutants could feel that kinda thing or not wasn't his business. Putting out his cigarette he sighs and decides to help in the chaos as Deacon walked into the third rail ‘’ I BROUGHT PIZZ- aaaa???!’’

BONUS

Sole:

Sole was sitting at dinner with Mac, Duncan and Shaun and turned towards the empty spot they had reserved for Strong with a sigh. They just continue to smile and eat, until the door gets fireman kicked down (I cannot stop with that) and strong appears Sole stands up and strong walks towards them, a pretty sweet looking belt in hand he throws it at sole and they catch it ‘’is this for me strong? well thanks! I-’’ then Strong picks them up and awkwardly hugs them to his body sole struggles a little bit against him ‘’is this about the third rail? its alright strong I told you that I was just busy’’ Strong ‘’I’m trying to do human E fec tion’’ sole goes silent and then smiles softly ‘’thanks strong that’s really nice of you to do that for me, but you don’t have to I like you the way you are’’ strong slowly puts sole down and sole pats him on the arm

Mac and Duncan just looked at each other awkwardly and kept eating the whole time

Bonus Bonus

Maxson:

(I hope this was okay!! thank you so much for requesting I had a BLAST doing it!! xxx)

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sea-salted-wolverine · 4 years ago

Text

Okay so last week was a shitkicker and was literally so bad I spent the better part of the week trying to delude myself into thinking it was a good day. Like, we're talking, "the sun is shining and I'm here to see it so today is a good day" and "I'm having a bad day- fuck me I am not haveing a bad day- I'm having a good day- I'm not having a bad day". Denial is a powerful tool for mental health, apply judiciously. I get that everyone on earth is kinda having a shitty year but it feels like things just kinda escalated in my little corner

The 7th had a huge snow storm that brought traffic to a stand still. No one could leave the house and university class was online anyway. Batshit customer demanded to pick up her gear anyway. I drove in because I was the only person with keys to the shop that could get to the building. It took me a solid 2 hours going 15mph on the highway. The snow in the parking lot was up past the fenders of my truck. Crazy lady gets 10 out of 18 of her survival suits back but the other 8 still have holes in them because our only repair tech is also the only one who answers the phone or runs the computer or handles customers or cleans or disinfects anything or stores gear. I'll give you one guess who that person is.

Did you guess me? Good for you. Fun fact this was not the case in October.

Crazy lady swans off through the snowed in parking lot and because she cant find the exit, blasts straight through the ditch and onto the road.

I say fuck it and leave. I've been at work for 2 hours. I have made 24 dollars for my trouble. It takes me another hour to get home.

The 8th is Saturday and I'm supposed to be at work. No one can drive. There was another 10 8nches of snow last night. I say fuck work and go to dig out the plow truck. The canopy over the plow truck collapses as I walk out to clear the snow of it.

I do not scream.

My partner and I get the truck running and go plow people out of their driveways and then go do the shop.

We come back home and the heater doesn't work. We just spent most of last week frantically trying to limp the thing along because no heat at -20°F is in a word fucking unpleasant. At least now its 40 degrees warmer because if the snowstorm. We take it apart again. The house smells like diesel. The house smells like exhaust. The house is not cold because the wood stove can keep up at 20 above zero but it won't keep us through the winter.

There is no saving the oil heater. We need a new one.

Its 730 and neither of us have eaten. I start rice in the pressure cooker so I can throw a tasty bite on top and call it dinner and that dies too. Explosively.

Dinner is half cooked rice and microwaved curry.

Sunday is spent finding a way to stretch our increasingly thin budget to buy a new heater. Between us we actually have 2275$ and we will still cover the mortgage. Somehow. All our Christmas gifts will be hand made this year. The next thing that breaks will stay broken.

Monday, power outages due to snow storm. No wifi, no zoom meetings. Another 8 inches of snow. This is now more snow than my city gets for the full year.

My boss calls sobbing. The dog died. Joey, an 11 year old, 130lb mastiff with a tumor the size of a football on his liver has been her constant companion for at least 8 years. The pandemic has confused the bejesus out of him because while he loves the lock down and going out to play every hour or so he doesnt really like the concept of strangers in masks. Hes a guard dog and doesnt understand that men in masks coming into the shop are not here to kill mom they're wearing masks so they don't kill mom.

Mondays the shop is closed anyway and I spend it installing the new heater. It doesn't quite fit in the space the old heater came out of but its warm.

Tuesday, I go to work, everyone cancels class, I once again gently explain to a regular that eugenics is bad. I would like to curse him out. I cant. He drops a grand on scuba gear and leaves, talking about how great his trip to Mexico will be.

I do not scream.

A friend calls to ask how I'm doing. Not great. Yea, her niether. She asks if I want to go out to the backcountry with her over the weekend. I explain that my leg physically does not move and I'm downing copious amounts of advil to remain upright. The doctor sent me in for an MRI but has not yet called back. Plus I'm supposed to go to Valdez for the weekend and actually go diving. That I can do with limited use of my leg.

She says yikes, take it easy, take care of yourself, I love you.

I say, yikes, I'm tired of taking it easy, I wanna play, I love you too.

Hit me up if your plans open up and we can do something gentle on your leg. She says.

God yes. The cold woods away from people sounds like paradise. I dont even care that it will cause me rending physical pain to get there. I need a break.

Its Wednesday. I go to school. I get pulled over. Miraculously I dont get a ticket. I'm white female and conventionaly attractive, maybe not so miraculous. I rolled through a stop sign but I'm pretty sure I couldn't afford a ticket.

I get a text in class. One of the instructors who works with the dive shop has tested positive for covid. I haven't seen the man in 2 months. I needed a spare instructor but he was nowhere to be found. But hey, evidently that's a good thing.

I go to work. I vacillate between doing the job a 4 people and having nothing to do.

I go to the grocery store because I misjudged my last monthly grocery run and even though I'm increasing my exposure I'm out of cheese and tea damnit.

The store is packed. Pandemic who?

My partner and I haven't had a date nite in a while and this week has been shitty. I want a nice dinner. I pick up a couple boxes of the carton sushi which isnt terrible and is about as nice as I can justify on the new budget. I grab a gallon of milk and a few other things. I forgot my wallet in the truck and the cashier is chill and sets my stuff aside while I grab it.

I pay and take my stuff home and realize I left one of my bags at the store. No cheese or tea for me.

Thursday. 10am my phone goes off with an emergency alert. The govoner has grown a spine in light of recent elections and is instituting a voluntary lock down. My state has 500 new cases a day. That might not sound like a lot but theres only 300,000 people in Alaska and we've got poor medical infrastructure.

Unfortunately Alaska is full of Alaskans and nobody can tell us what to do. Nothing changes. 7pm rolls around and I'm teaching scuba classes in the pool.

I load a few hundred pounds of scuba gear into the back of my truck. In a wet wetsuit. In the snow. In a fabric facemask. 6 feet apart. In the pool.

I dont get paid for pool time.

Over the summer we had 6 dive masters including me, all big burly dudes, much better suited to picking things up. Its November and I'm the only one.

The kids I'm teaching are going to Hawaii. They're 10 and 13 and so wildly excited about breathing underwater its beautiful to watch. And they're traveling to an island. In a pandemic.

Friday.

Unload scuba gear so it doesnt get stolen out of the back of my truck while I'm at class. Were doing a make up lab today. Hey of the five student in my class only one of us has covid so theres that.

My boss calls an let's me know that shes left for Valdez without me. If I'd like to make an 8 hour drive by myself in a snowstorm I'm welcome to follow.

I'm in class till an hour before shop closing. I'm not driving across town so I can run on the open sign for half an hour.

The shop stays closed on Friday.

Saturday.

I explained to everyone we had business with that the shop would be closed over the weekend and Friday. I planned on being in Valdez. Hell I canceled plans to be in Valdez.

I open the shop and immediately field calls about why we werent open. I start to explain about the Valdez trip and logistical difficulties and then I realize that shes not mad about that. The woman was here before I opened early this morning. We have never been open that early. The hours are on the door.

A regular comes in. Hes also confused as to why I'm here.

Sunday finds me curled up in bed, reluctant to leave. Getting out of bed has not played out well for me recently.

A friend comes over to chat with my partner about specialist rifle parts. This isnt that wierd, he works at a gun shop and they've been discussing upgrading my partners current rifle set up.

He is wearing a full Scottish kilt. Red tartan. Looks very lovely.

I make zucchini bread and my proportions are a little off because I have too much zucchini so it's a little over moist but it's good. I'm recovering from an asskicker of a week and next week will be better.

Monday morning:

Baby brother has covid

Dads getting the results of his rapid test tonight.

Mom isnt getting tested because she says she doesnt have symptoms but that's not the fucking point mom.

So, I'm not going home for thanksgiving. I'm not diving in Valdez. I'm not skiing backcountry.

I'm not sick. I'm not flat broke yet. I dont have a ticket. I have a job. I have people who care about me. Im managing my physical and mental health as best I can. Im just fucking exhausted.

#vent post #writing #holy fuuuuuck #2020

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quackspot · 4 years ago

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i started thinking about that gay bastard oc of yours. platano. can u tell me about him

omg u wer thinkgin about platano..... mr banana man... mr 4011. i am obsessed with the banana code srry i just got back from work (it was good :-D)

any way. um. im going below the cut. he kidnaps people and he murders people and i hate him because he’s also a massive weeb so. hm

HISTORY OF PLATANO... yea his name is spanish for banana

his father, pablo, will probably get a name change someday but i literally never think of his father since the only thing he did in platano’s backstory was disappear

since platano’s world has characters based off like. fruits and vegetables (there aren’t really any limit to what the characters are based off of. it was in my lazy google translate name phase so we have like... a gay character named arcenciel who becomes dadlike through my powerful canon-changing touch. also arcenciel wears the colors of the rainbow as often as he can i haven’t figured out a good design for him since i’m not used to using more than 5 colors. he also owns a hat factory)

i think arcenciel and platano are friends they met when platano was like. 17 probably and arcenciel would be around uhhhhh ummmmmmm 21??? idk man but in canon he’s probably around 30 . yes i m saying “in canon” because i wrote a really dumb and horrible story back in 2018 arcenciel used to have HUGE internalized homophobia and i turned that into a running joke and i dislike that so that’s a reason why i’m not sharing the fun little story i wrote for my friends

(the best part of that story is when arcenciel threw his light-up rainbow heelies at platano, thus starting the boss fight which the main cast LOST.)

ok back to the topic at hand. platano.

i have a whole doc named platano where i just wrote drabbles about him so i’m going to summarize them

the first one was his friend, percisi (my only cishet oc he’s very short and very aggressive while also dressing in a soft-colored turtleneck since he’s based off of peaches) using a misunderstood form of satanism to summon satan. guess what percisi and platano summoned satan for. it was a manga update! wow

i won’t say the mangas name it was an inside joke

so platano was like “hey satan can i have this manga now please please” and satan went “sure just kill people for me”

that determined platanos job for the next 7 or so years <3 wonderful.

(it was basically me writing a backstory for a scene to happen in the main writing i wrote for my friends. he killed someone because someone else in the building was trying to summon satan. very confusing but okay i guess.)

i think right after that i wrote about platano meeting his boyfriend, sage, for the first time. i have horribly mixed feelings about their relationship since it’s very. Hm.

so platano kidnaps people to watch anime with him because all his friends left him and his best friend, mangue, is too busy being a dictator over the Land of the Fruits. i shit you not fruits oppressed the vegetables. i wrote that dynamic between the two because i was learning about the revolutionary war in US History. something like that at least

(the Land of the Fruits is not the official name)

on the topic of kidnapping people. guess who his favorite person was. sage. it was sage. so he tried to take sage often but they probably discussed Proper boundaries since everyone else tried to run away. hmm i am now going to write a bit right now

“Platano,” Sage started. “Why do you keep kidnapping me? It’s rude and I hate it.”

“What else am I supposed to do?” The yellow-haired fool leaned on his sword, digging the tip deeper into the ground.

“ASK ME IF I WANT TO HANG OUT??”

“I can do that?”

“You keep making my dads worried.” Sage looked around the area, fidgeting with his hands.

“Oh. Okay. Want to hang out? Watch some anime?” Platano paused for a moment, but managed to say “Maybe kiss?” before Sage got to answer.

“I- KISS??? We can watch anime together. We can go now.”

Sage ushered Platano through a portal as fast as he could.

His dads were never worried.

hmmm maybe that’s alright idk i’m a little tired so it’s probably a little out of character. sage probably isn’t that loud but i think it was trying to be the dynamic of “oh, we’re not dating” when they kiss every sunday at 5 pm by a romantic river scene

he’s a character who is, at his very core, horrible and bad. he is portrayed in a way i DESPISE but i’m too lazy to correct it. his interest in sage actually started with me going “hmm i think platano would draw sage like this” then sauce giving me fun facts about his oc, sage, yea sage is sauce’s oc <3 epic win . so sauce gave me fun facts about sage and i was like “time to doodle these in platanos ‘art style’” when in reality it’s just the mockery of people just getting into an anime art style, with the chin so pointy it could cut a cake

i might reread my old writing from 2018. i gotta agree with the judges for that year i did not write very well

it mightve actually been made in 2017 which would be FUCKIN CRAZY im gonna check rn

yea it was started in 2018. february 14th... huh . finished it completely in june of that year it was 41 pages total and it’s not even double spaced how did i write something without double spacing it

OH MY GOD BOB IS GOING TO HIJACK THIS RANT JUST FOR A LITTLE

so bob is a fluffy little anthro cloud with a grey top hat and bowtie. he is amazing. i love bob. bob is another one of sauce’s character and mangue (mentioned earlier) was made by my friend jamie

(you can always ask for their tumblrs but i’d ask them if its okay to share their tumblrs. i might just look at them and reblog their stuff cuz i like their art!!! maybe jamie posted a drawing she made recently on her blog but tbh i don’t think she would she’s more of a twitter user)

ok so im skimming thru UMG which is the story it stands for “Universe of Magic Gardens” and it was originally made for a prank on ponytown so people would go “what’s UMG” and my friends and i would be like “ur mom gay xDDDDDD” or something like that . horrible but i’m glad i’ve changed from . that.

here’s a bit i actually like AKLJFISJFIO

“What the actual FUCK, Ilkie?!” Arcenciel cringed in fear. “Put it back- it’s too ugly.” He pointed at Platano, whose arms were crossed.

why is it bolded. anyway.

i just saw a part where eau used y’all... water cowboy moments <333 i really need to make refs for all of those old characters. all of my umg-related characters have to be my oldest-living ocs.

i cant believe this is making me genuinely reread my old writing just to go “WJHFSIDAJKSFIOJ WTF????”

some of the lines on it sound like something you would hear on like. a school bus or somethin

looking at umg like “wtf how did i add so much Meat to this writing” bc most of my writing now is mostly quotations to progress the story (like the quickie i wrote earlier. i could add meat to it but im tired lol)

OK THIS IS MORE GENERAL BUT MY FAVORITE THING ABOUT THIS WAS WRITING HAIKUS FOR PORTALS. after you visit a place enough times it’s kind of just an instinct to open a portal there so you don’t have to recite a haiku

uhh ok here’s another bit becuase im feeling like living la vida loca. ur biggest regret should be “can you tell me about him” by this point bc i’ve written too much to go back now

He landed on his face once he was outside of the hat. Meko quickly walked over to the guest room, opened the Portals for Dummies book, and flipped to a page. It looked devious.

“Banana, mango,

Each tasting amazingly.

A taste of evil.”

Meko did the dance on the page, it consisted of something that looks like it’s from an anime. A portal opened, the familiar scent of bananas and mangoes coming from it. With some hesitation, Meko stepped in. He quickly made it so only his head peeked in.

it wasnt bolded this time but i like it bolded. ok i understand how i added meat it was just shitty expired meat ALKFSJSHDAIUJKFEIODSJAK . it wasnt even that much meat DAMN. it just looked like more.

actually that’s all i will write. i could do more w platano but yea at his base he is a blonde twink who kills people because he wanted a manga but now he’s friends with a dictator. woo! wow. amazing character writing. i cant wait to get motivation to rewrite everything and make platano a good villain (he will still be very interested in anime sadly. idk why around that time i liked making characters who were obsessed with anime i didn’t even watch it much myself. i think it was because i wanted to put capes on them)

#I REALLY WENT SLIGHTLY OFF-TOPIC #like i went broader then refocused in at the end #so if you want the basics its just. right at the end #my brain's out of work mode now it's going into the deepfry machine #melon-official

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fuck-customers · 6 years ago

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TLDR: Im ready to quit because of ONE coworker even though I love the rest of my department and new manager. Sorry for a long rant but it's been a long time coming. This is a fuck coworkers. I work in the bakery as a Baker n main weekly closer, at the grocer of rotten, been at this hell hole for about 5.5-6years, and I've only quit once n came back to because of one coworker whom we will call H. Now before H came back I had heard stories about her n her craziness. I tried shrugging it off, after all how could I judge someone I'd never met based upon one bakers comments? I was dead wrong. She started out nice, acting like I was her buddy. We hung out a few times, n little by little she would snitch to our bakery manager things i "wasn't" doing or saying false things to her that "I"had said about outmr manager, who was a raging jerk who made so many people quit under her as well. She would also unload all her work on me in various ways, " oh I couldn't get WXYZ, I know you have a lot do but can you do those for me too?" on an almost daily occurrence. I eventually had enough of H and her backhanded, lying, and manipulative ways, along with my jackass manager that I eventually put in my 2weeks. I was free and happy, got about 6 months away from there before I got a text from H. She was miserable now that I was gone and our manager was making her the newest target for her hatred. She was allowed to transfer to bulk, but they had to have a replacement for her and she was on the verge of a nervous breakdown that would lead to self harm if she couldn't get out of the bakery. Reluctantly I agreed to come back, but with almost top pay because if I had to dressn with our manager again I'd be at least paid to deal with her bullshit. H was happy, she thrived in bulk, and eventually was promoted to scanning n signs, cool beans, whatever. I stayed in bakery, went through evil manager, another manager who was a fellow baker(dumb as a rock n stoned out of her mind half the time but as long as we had hours n product not my problem.) Stoned manager eventually gets into enough trouble having only been the manager maybe a little over a year and is demoted for various reasons: So many people quit because of her as well, her shrink was always too high, inventory wa never on par with what Corp wanted, she wa leaving early, etc. We get our newest manager, J. She's fabulous, she's willing to work with everyone n give them a weekend off of they want, she always tells you that you're doing a great job, how much she appreciates you, lets us giggle talk n listen to music n we are in general a much more upbeat bunch now. Well this changed when H was forced to step down n be relocated to bakery due to whatever reason (rumor mill says she was sleeping with an ASM, which I can believe because I already know she slept with an ex ASM when she was still in bulk, n such relationship was reported to HR). Our SM n H are bff, she's kissed enough ass since she came back to the store that she can do no wrong in his eyes. So he moves her instead if firing her, claiming it was to help us since we were incredibly short staffed at the time. We also got an extra clerk, a guy who was a cashier, so it seemed like a general SM move. H gets put on coldcase, which kind of pissed me off because I'd been trying my hardest every night to maintain the damn thing, n get backups done to prove I should be coldcase. H isn't bad at the job, just knows how to waste huge amounts of time on one task n over fills the case every week. But everything looks nice so management doesn't call her out on it. I stop helping make backups cause fuck it that's her job now and she's here 5 days a week for 8hours, that's enough time to have everything you need done right??? NOPE APPEARNTLY NOT. She constantly leaves stuff off, doesn't clean up her area, leaves passive aggressive notes about "I need you to do this for me" leaves early or calls out on some days only to come in on her days off to "make up"her hours, is constantly using products we aren't supposed to use on things we make, n gives customers whatever they want on such short notice, but will give attitude to customers if she's in a bad mood, and overfills the coldcase with so much product that I eventually dump days later. The most I dumped one week (all on one day) was over $350 from her bullshit. And once again this gross waste of Corp time and money goes without a shit given. Last night (8/21)was the last straw however. I came in n a guy from grocery immediately tells me H was screaming and yelling and talking shit about me to our new ASM, n telling him "SHE NEEDS TO DO THESE THINGS FOR ME, I WANT YOU TO MAKE A LIST FOR HER." Like BITCH REALLY!? You're 👏not👏my👏supervisor👏 So I plug in the few missing items cause I have nothing to do til I can start pulling items from our self serve anyways, but I notice on the list at the bottom " make backups of cupcakes and out of stock items" n ya'll I lose my shit. I was ready to cry out of anger. I told our ASM I refused to do backups for her, the last time I did she didn't use anything but the cupcakes and honestly i'm not making shit if she's gonna waste it on overfilling the case, and that she's here 5days a week for 8hours, NOT my problem that she can't find time to do that. I also pointed out she came in Sunday for about 4 hours on HER DAY OFF to make up hours n bullshited like 3 large fruit tarts when she could have actually done backups (I had even pointed that out to her). He just nodded n said ok (which I'm kinda scared I'll get in trouble for saying no) Like im going to have a LONG talk with our bakery manager when she gets back from vacation about how I feel, n maybe transfer to bulk to help the specialist there cause she has hours n its just her. I love helping her package candy up when I close(I seriously have nothing to do most nights since we hired a new girl for midshifts), n I get to nibble on any leftover candy(with in reason). Its super relaxing and smells so good, it really is the only reason I haven't just quit on the spot.

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kawaiianimeredhead · 6 years ago

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Oh right I wanted to rant. Im still on my phone so there might be typos but oh well

Edit: this got way longer and rambly than I expected oops. I hope this read more works, i never actually checked yesterday when I used it to see if it still worked on mobile so if it doesnt oops and sorry

Anyways. In september a new company took over our contract and thats a whole rant on its own. The previous lead (my dad but not important) left before the new company came and he left Sam in charge. Sam has been there for like four or five years and he's a pretty good guy. When the new cobtract started he was very quickly overwhelmed with the bs and also with the paper abd computer stuff he had to do so he stepped down. Hes still there and actually was still in charge for a bit after he stepped down because we didnt have a new lead.

And now we do have a new lead. This was apparently a Process from what ive heard. Nobody really wanted the job and im not sure how the Boss from the company even went about hiring but i heard that a couple people he considered weren't interested and then I was told that someone was hired or was going to be hired and quick before she even started. I heard these from two differenr people because one told me she qas being walked around and woukd start soon and another said she wasnt coming a day or so later. Someone was hired though and the first night he was there so was the Boss showing him around kinda. I spoke with him a bit and he seemed nice. Def better than the Boss who I cant stand beinf around for long hes got weird and annoying vibes around him.

None of this is actually particularly relevant or necessary for this rant but it came out anyways.

So this new lead has tried all thr different shifts/jobs out and and has been with us for like a month or so now maybe? The first schedule he was properly scheduled on was such a SHIT week/schedule because I went from working 5-4 days a week to 3 and instead of doing bathrooms which is 3 hours or 4 depending on if I'm also doing trash to working 2 hours one day, 2 or 3 the next, and 3 or 4 the last. And it sucks. Then, the first schedule to come out that he made (with the help of the Boss) had ALL of us on less days and hours and HE now working every day but one and working both in the morning AND at night. Now I'm not convinced this was soley his decision because I know he made this schedule with the Boss and i have a suspicion that the Boss encouraged him or persuaded him or some other kind of bull shit to do the schedule like this. And then the week after was the same schedule copied again and this week coming up is the same minus a few small changes.

Now all this is annoying and bull shit on its own but not even the main fuel to this rambling rant. With this schedule, hes scheduled to clean the bathrooms and trash every day except Sunday, which is when I am scheduled on them. Last week was the first week of this and besides the day I'm specificed to do bathrooms im not given a specific job. Imbonly told to do "extras" so ive asked Sam and hes told me to do offices one day and some windows the other. I come in Saturday ready to do the windows which ive been dying to do because they look awful and they used to be my Thing so I get really annoyed about them often but then I notice the trash hadnt been done. So I start doing that thinking maybe that was what I was supposed to be doing. Then while doing this I notice the main breakroom doesnt look particularly clean, breakrooms are a part of the bathroom persons job. This was annoying but because it wasnt Bad I left it. I then go to the next break room which is smaller and always messier because more people stay in it for longer, this one also looked dirtier than it should be. In addition, the bathroom's trash hadnt beeb taken out which is a part of the bathroom job. Bathroom trash is separate from trash trash as far as jobs go, theyre usually done together but if someone is doinf "extras" and someone else bathrooms, bathrooms normally gets bathroom trash abd extras the rest. Something felt really off about the bathroom as well and combined with the breakdowns I had a suspicion that bathrooms hadnt been done. So I decided to check the costumer bathrooms for their trash and their cleanliness. When I got there they absolutely had not been done. Which ! I hadn't planned for. I was taking my time on trash and now I had to do bathroom s.

Nobody had been called or texted about the lead not being at work. And he absolutely has our numbers. We used to sign in on a time sheet and that would have helped us noticed but we recently got a finger print time clock which, as far as I know, we cant check other peoples hours on. So we had no fucking clue he just hadnt been in the previous night.

Then this week comes along. Friday talking with Sam he mentioned something along the lines of not checking the bathrooms. Mentioning that its not really our fault if we dont abd they havent been done because since were not scheduled for them, we have no reason to assume they wouldnt be done. So I hadnt looked in the bathrooms but I did notice the break room looked a bit messy and which had me a bit concerned about a repeat of the previous week. But I didnt wanna do them and I knew Sam didnt either so I left it be but texted nick to ask if hed seen the lead the previous night. Nick confirmed hed been in and was seen cleaning the bathrooms. Yesterday, I briefly looked into the main break room and it looked not great, and then later I went to the bathroom in the smaller breakroom's bathroom (they have really nice soap they buy themselves thats not really importantto this tho) and noticed that one looked AWFUL. It absolutly hadnt been swept and I felt bad but it wasnt what I was scheduled for so I just kinda left it... Their bathroom also had 1ply toilet paper in it, which is what we had when the company first took over it its AWFUL everyone complained so we switched but the unused rolls are still in our closet. Nobody told our new lead this so he had put some of this in the bathrooms. Then later on in the morning, I noticed several trash cans had stuff in it. Not trash but like residue from trash? Like sticky spots of soda oe coffee, some gum, things like that. Basically things that pointed to him only dumping out the trash and not changing the bag. The bags dont always get changed everyday, thats not really an issue, but if theres something still kinda in them they normally are changed because thats gross and why would it just be left like that... I also noticed that up front by the entrance door none of the trash had been got. The busiest area for trash (from customers) and it was still ! There! And I had actually heard Friday or last Friday that this wasnt the first time. Again I left it because I had other things to do.

Now this morning. I worked bathrooms and trash. Trash went ok, I changed a lot of the bags becsuse I prefer to do it regardless and it was just normal overall. Then bathrooms. The bathroom cart is a mess. Which started my mood. The top is all unorganized and theres dirty water in the mop bucket. When I went go get new water, I had set the mop off to the side assuming it had already veen run out and dried because it had been in the part of the bucket where you ring it out and it had been there since yesterday morning. I finished filling the bucket and then look over and notice the puddle forming under the mop because my assumption had been wrong and worse, it smelled like pee. ! Carring on The first two bathrooms were ok, not great but fine. Then I got to the main breakroom and noticed itd clearly been cleaned, Sam worked the day shift Saturday so I assume he swept and mopped. I also swept and mopped. Then, the small break room. Sam didnt clean this one. Which is fair on his part because I think throughout the whole day at least one or more people are sitting in it with no time for someone to clean. So I start and its just the whole thing, even the bathroom floor, was so bad. Aside from the floor the bathroom part was ok, but the floor really didnt seem to have been swept. And the main floor absolutely hadnt been swept. This was obvious from the start but it kept making me madder and madder as I swept and saw how much trash was on the floor. It absolutely put me behind because I wanted to get as much as I could. The cutomer bathrooms also looked pretty bad which is had to tell who thats on, but wheb I got to them it was apparent somethibg else I hadnt fully thought of as a problem until then. Behind all the toilets, like on then but behidb the seat part, there was so much DUST. I had noticed before in the other bathrooms but didnt really think about it because of things plus i see the dust more often collect in the orher bathrooms than that one for some reason and I didnt even realize this but because it was something New in the costumer bathroom it was really noticeable now. Which made ne even madder. Its not hard to clean, were supposed to be cleaning the toilet seats anyways so getting just behind them isnt anything!

And its just so aggrivating. The longer at work i was this morning the more it pissed me off. Especially because in addition to what I was seeing, the things I had heard from others over the last couple of weeks started piling on.

With my own eyes i had seen how bad the cart had been and from sam I heard that the water in the bucket had been in there all week, he suspected that he wasnt changing it. He also commented on the rags all over the cart thinking that he wasnt using paper towels to clean and instead used the rags. I heard about how a couple of times now hed forgotten or ignore the front trash cans and some others. I heard from someone in the meat room that when he cleans it he doesnt do that grear a job and even broke a couple small things. Which is all very concerning to hear since thats a fucking sanitation issue!? And I heard from nick yesterday that he thinks that the lead isnt cleaning all thw bathrooms every day and is instead only cleaning them when they look dirty. Which I'm a bit inclinded to believe because the underside of some of the seats seemed much dirtier than id expected.

And its all infuriating! The Boss is the one who showed him all the jobs, none of us showed him any of what we do it was all the Boss. So like, did HE tell the lead not to do this or that? To do some of it to save time? I dont know but some of it is common sense regardless of what hes beeb told hes still fucking it up and hes our fucking boss. And the main one doing everything!

The store hasnt looked as clean from the start of this new contract and now it's even worse and its awful!

And I dont have a way to end this rant it got really long snd feels like it needs a good closer but I dont have one...

#work tag #hope the read more thing works #this got long #and it doesnt even have the same anger behind it as it should because its all typed #im so mad #dont mind me

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liketolaugh-writes · 6 years ago

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[Context: Sebastian is a LetsPlayer in modern times. He is still a demon and the events of Kuroshitsuji happened over a hundred years ago as appropriate. He does not currently have a master, having finished with his last some five to ten years ago. Because he enjoys human pastimes on occasion, he decided to amuse himself with this for a while. It’s set in the Marvel universe, insofar as metas are known to exist and he is known as a lightly closeted one. He is currently playing Undertale, and because of who he is as a person, has accidentally stumbled onto the Genocide route on his first playthrough.]

The character avatar walks down the purple hallway. In the top-left corner, Sebastian’s brows are furrowed. He looks unsettled, but is attempting to appear merely bored.

Sebastian: This is quite an unusual take on an RPG game, I’ll admit. I’ve never encountered one that attempted to make me feel guilty for progressing before. Toriel’s last words in particular were… well. I expect this is going to be quite an interesting letsplay.

The avatar reaches the hallway exit and goes through. On the other side, Flowey is sitting in a spotlight.

Sebastian: Oh, it’s you again. Now, you, I would not feel bad for killing at all.

Flowey: Hahaha… You’re not really human, are you?

Sebastian’s eyebrows lift as he reads the dialogue. For a moment, he looks amused.

Flowey: No. You’re empty inside. Just like me. In fact… You’re Ciel, right? We’re still inseparable, after all these years…

Sebastian’s brows furrow, and he pauses in reading the dialogue.

Sebastian: That’s an interesting plot twist, this early in the game. I thought I’d just fallen down. Perhaps I have escaped the Underground before? But then, why is it that I fell in again? To take revenge?

Flowey: Listen. I have a plan to become all powerful. Even more powerful than you and your stolen soul.

Sebastian scowls, but does not remark on the dialogue.

Flowey: Let’s destroy everything in this wretched world. Everyone, everything in these worthless memories. Let’s turn ‘em all to dust.

Flowey [computer-generated voice]: That’s a wonderful idea!

Flowey disappears into the ground, and Sebastian continues to frown at the screen. His scowl has eased.

Sebastian: That was… odd. This game is obviously not what it first appears. Is that my goal, then? To conquer the Underground? It seems frivolous and unnecessary, but it’s quite the take on the traditional RPG mechanic of slaughtering everything you come across.

The avatar begins to move forward again and soon encounters the door out.

The screen fades to black and then displays the title screen, UNDERTALE. It then switches to By Toby Fox, and then to black. Sebastian smiles.

Sebastian: As I said, quite an interesting game. I’m looking forward to continuing it. I expect it has some interesting lessons to teach, and perhaps some remarks on human nature as well. It’s a surprising contrast with the rather cute aesthetic.

Sebastian chuckles, and as the screen reforms on a snowy forest, the avatar begins walking right, and then pauses and interacts with the bush nearby.

[…!? There’s a camera hidden in the bushes.]

Sebastian: …Interesting.

The avatar continues right. The avatar passes a branch, and a handful of steps after the avatar passes, it breaks unexpectedly. Sebastian rolls his eyes.

Sebastian: The music is appropriately ominous for such a setting. I do hope I have an encounter worthy of it soon.

The avatar starts to cross a bridge, and then stops on the left edge. A shadow begins to approach from where the avatar came from.

Sebastian: Speak of the devil.

Sebastian chooses a creaky, deep voice for the new character.

?: H u m a n.

The avatar turns around. The shadow sticks out its hand, and the avatar takes it. The shadow is suddenly lit, revealing itself to be a grinning skeleton in a blue hoodie, and a fart sound plays. Sebastian snorts, visibly surprised.

Sebastian: Well, that was rather anticlimactic.

?: heheh… the old whoopee cushion in the hand trick. it’s ALWAYS funny.

Despite the change of font, Sebastian sticks with the original voice, raising one eyebrow and smiling in obvious amusement.

?: …that’s, uh. your cue to laugh. or, uh, to emote at all…?

Sebastian chuckles again.

Sebastian: They really are pushing the inhumanity of this character, aren’t they? They ought to be careful not to go heavy-handed, but it’s amusing as it is, and somewhat unsettling as intended.

?: …(gee, lady, you really know how to pick ‘em, huh…?) OK, that’s fine. everyone’s got their own sense of humor. i’m sans. sans the skeleton. im actually supposed to be on watch for humans right now. but… you know… i dont really care about capturing anybody.

Sebastian grins.

Sebastian: Perhaps you should, Mr. Skeleton. It looks like letting this one go will be bad for your health.

Sans: now my brother, papyrus… he’s a human-hunting FANATIC.

Sebastian: Ah, so is that the interesting battle I’m promised? Or- no. No, given the nature of the last boss, I don’t suppose any of these bosses are going to be truly terrible people. Hm. Does that mean I won’t be able to dispose of Flowey?

Sans: hey, actually, I think that’s him over there.

Sebastian: Another boss battle already? That seems unlikely, so I suppose this Sans character is going to help me as well.

Sans: i have an idea. go through this gate thingy. yeah, go right through. my bro made the bars too wide to stop anyone.

Sebastian chuckles, head dipping as he smirks. The avatar and Sans rush right, quickly arriving at a small area containing a lamp shaped precisely like the profile view of the avatar, two rocks, and a shop stand.

Sans: quick, behind that conveniently-shaped lamp.

The avatar does not move. Sebastian raises his eyebrows.

Sans: …uh, okay, i guess you don’t have to.

Sebastian [softly]: …Strange.

From the right, a tall skeleton in red zooms in, stopping in front of Sans and the avatar. Sebastian chooses a high, crackly voice for this character.

Papyrus: SANS!!! HAVE YOU FOUND A HUMAN YET!??!

Sans: yeah

Sebastian: From any other game I would expect betrayal, but…

Papyrus: REALLY!?!? WOWIE!!!

Sebastian: Goodness, two lines and I already cannot wait for this character to be gone.

Papyrus: GUESS THAT’S SETTLED!!

The skeleton leaves out the right side. Sebastian snorts.

Sebastian: My wish has been granted.

Sans: that worked out, huh?

The avatar wanders around the screen and interacts with the lamp.

[Just a conveniently-shaped lamp.]

Sebastian chuckles.

Sebastian: I’ll admit, this game is quite funny when it isn’t resorting to bodily humor.

The avatar moves to the stand and interacts.

[It’s some sort of checkpoint or sentry-station. But there are bottles of ketchup, mustard, and relish sitting inside…]

Sebastian: I hope they don’t belong to the skeletons. I imagine that would be quite messy, and what a waste.

The avatar begins to move right but is stopped at the exit.

Sans: well, i’ll be straight-forward with you. my brother’d really like to see a human… so, y’know, it’d really help me out… if you kept pretending to be one.

Sebastian pauses, staring at the screen with an unreadable expression as Sans exits left.

Sebastian: Again with this, hm…? If not a human, then I wonder what I’m meant to be.

Sebastian smiles.

Sebastian: Perhaps a demon? Well, I suppose I’ll find out in time. …If I find out that the playable character is a metahuman, however, I’m going to be deeply disappointed in not only the game’s creator, but also every person who recommended this game to me. That would be an utterly pathetic plot twist.

The avatar exits right, and the approaches the nearby sparkling save point.

[16 Left]

Sebastian: Quite handy. But why is the text red…?

The avatar explores the area for a while, and then encounters a monster. The monster is identified as Snowdrake.

[Snowdrake flutters forth!]

Sebastian: Though I may come to regret it, given the odd ‘but nobody came’ encounters, I believe I’ll handle all of these now. I’ll clip in the images and dialogue of each new monster, however – for your amusement, yes?

The screen skips through several images without remark and resettles on the same stretch of path.

Sebastian: That didn’t take too long, did it?

Sebastian smiles.

Sebastian: Now we can progress the story without interference. I could do without the skeleton characters, myself, but they’re a necessary evil. Never mind- they’ll be gone soon enough.

Sebastian laughs, and the avatar exits right.

Sebastian: I did explore the top path, but there was nothing of interest. Ah, here we are.

Papyrus: SO SANS! WHEN’S THE HUMAN SHOWING UP???

Sebastian: Mr. Papyrus’ enthusiasm is amusing, but I’ve known enough people like him to be quite glad that his dialogue is text-only. Goodness knows how loud it would be.

Papyrus: I WANT TO LOOK MY SUNDAY BEST… OR AT LEAST MY TUESDAY PRETTY-GOOD.

Sebastian laughs again and shakes his head slightly.

Sebastian: A game with a sense of humor more sophisticated than a grade schooler, what a rarity.

Sans: don’t you only have one outfit?

Papyrus: YEAH, BUT I COULD STYLE MY HAIR!

Sebastian covers his mouth with the back of his hand. He is grinning, and his eyes glitter with amusement.

Sans: oh. right. good idea. say, why don’t you look over there?

Papyrus looks at the avatar. An exclamation mark appears briefly over his head. He turns back at Sans, who turns to the human, and then back to the human, while Sans looks back at Papyrus. This process repeats itself several times, rapidly speeding up, and Sebastian lowers his hand to smile in open amusement. Eventually, both skeletons stop, and then turn right.

Papyrus: SANS!!! OH MY GOD!!!!

Sebastian: That is entirely too many exclamation points, and I can picture the volume perfectly.

Papyrus: I’M DIZZY. WHAT AM I LOOKING AT?

Sebastian snorts, apparently caught by surprise.

Sans: behold.

Sans turns to his brother. The screen pans left to center on the avatar and reveal a rock.

Papyrus: OH MY GOD!!!

The screen shunts right again as Papyrus turns back to Sans.

Papyrus: WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME TO LOOK AT A ROCK.

Sebastian closes his eyes and covers his mouth with a gloved hand. A muffled snort escapes anyway and the corners of his eyes are crinkled. After a second, he removes his hand and shakes his head.

Sebastian: This game is entirely too much.

Sans turns back to the avatar.

Sans: hey, what’s that in front of the rock?

An exclamation mark appears above Papyrus’ head.

Papyrus: OH MY GOD!!!

Sebastian takes a deep breath.

Papyrus: I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THAT IS.

Sebastian lets it out in a huff, closes his eyes, and tilts his head back briefly. After two seconds, he opens them again, and then continues without comment.

Sans: well. it’s not a rock.

Sebastian: A pair of geniuses, these two.

Papyrus: NOT A ROCK…? OH NO!!! BY PROCESS OF ELIMINATION!!! THAT MEANS IT’S A HUMAN!!!

Sebastian closes his eyes again, presses his palm to a forehead, and for a moment, laughs helplessly, quiet and breathy.

Sebastian: What an imbecile.

Sebastian opens his eyes and continues on, shaking his head.

Papyrus: AHEM!! HUMAN!! PREPARE YOURSELF!! FOR HIGH JINKS! FOR LOW JINKS! DANGERS! PUZZLES! CAPERS! JAPERS! BEING CAPTURED!! AND OTHER SORTS OF FUN ACTIVITIES.

Sebastian rolls his eyes.

Sebastian: If I have any say in the matter, I will not be participating in a single one of those things, Mr. Skeleton. Particularly not with someone as obviously loud as yourself – my ears hurt and you’re not even speaking aloud.

Papyrus: REFRESHMENTS WILL BE PROVIDED… IF YOU DARE! NYEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!!!

Sebastian wrinkles his nose as Papyrus exits right.

Sebastian: Is that his laugh? How awful. I shall give him as little cause to do that as possible.

Sans turns to the avatar.

Sans: …and you don’t even bat an eye, huh?

Sans exits right.

Sebastian: Well, I wouldn’t want to give that moron any form of encouragement. That’s your job, is it not? Really, this Sans character is… quite suspicious, I’d say. Though not as suspicious as the playable character, naturally… Given that they seem to be on a warpath. Now, let’s see-

The avatar moves right and interacts with the stand nearby.

[There’s some narration on this cardboard box.]

[YOU OBSERVE THE WELL-CRAFTED SENTRY STATION. WHO COULD HAVE BUILT THIS, YOU PONDER… I BET IT WAS THAT VERY FAMOUS ROYAL GUARDSMAN!]

Sebastian rolls his eyes again and sighs, muttering something inaudible before speaking.

Sebastian: Goodness, he does get into everything, doesn’t he? And self-congratulatory, too. I’d bet anything he isn’t a royal guardsman at all.

[(NOTE: NOT YET A VERY FAMOUS ROYAL GUARDSMAN.)]

Sebastian pinches the bridge of his nose.

Sebastian: Ridding the Underground of this idiot will be a service.

The avatar moves right. An encounter appears.

[but nobody came.]

Sebastian: Ah yes, there it is. Very ominous… the first few times, at least.

The avatar continues right and crosses into the path of another station, this one sporting a bell. When the avatar reaches it, a dog emerges from behind the counter.

?: D-did something move? Was it my imagination? I can only see moving things. …hey! I can’t stop shivering all of a sudden. …Who’s there!?

An encounter overtakes the screen.

[Doggo blocks the way!]

Sebastian: Why would you announce your biggest weakness to the world immediately before initiating a fight? Really, now… I’ll take many things at face value in a PC game, but some of these habits are simply absurd.

Sebastian continues to mutter as the fight progresses, looking bored. Doggo is easily defeated, and the avatar moves on, exiting right.

Sebastian: I might have been more sympathetic if it had been a cat. Of course, a cat likely wouldn’t have announced its only weakness so easily, hm?

The avatar continues to travel.

[but nobody came.]

Sebastian: Yes, yes, I understand, everyone is dead. I am aware of that. I actually made that happen. It doesn’t appear to have decreased the amount of trouble I go to just to move, unfortunately.

The avatar reaches an intersection, pauses briefly, and exits top. A snowman appears onscreen and the avatar approaches and interacts with it.

?: Hello. I am a snowman. I cannot move. Traveller, if you could…

[(You got the Snowman Piece.)]

Sebastian: Well, that was simple foolishness.

Sebastian checks the Snowman Piece in his inventory.

[“Snowman Piece” – Heals 45 HP. Please take this to the ends of the earth.]

Sebastian smirks with too many teeth.

Sebastian: 45 HP, hm? I think I’d like more of that, if at all possible.

The avatar interacts with the Snowman again.

Snowman: Oh me, oh my. What are you doing? Soon there won’t be any of me left…

Sebastian: I’m taking your flesh for sustenance, isn’t it obvious?

[(You got the Snowman Piece.)]

The Snowman shrinks dramatically. Sebastian smirks, and the avatar interacts with the Snowman again.

Snowman: Stop… Please…

The Snowman collapses into a small puddle of snow. Sebastian chuckles, raising an eyebrow.

Sebastian: Well, what did you expect, giving pieces of yourself to a stranger? Quite foolish, as I said. You should never give of yourself, really – even those you trust can easily turn their backs on you.

The avatar interacts with the pile of snow again.

[A useless pile of snow.]

Sebastian: Only three, then. Well, that’s quite enough to be getting on with. I won’t need that many, with a small amount of luck and a fair bit of skill. And I like to think I have both in spades, don’t you?

The avatar exits bottom, and heads toward the right exit. An encounter spawns.

[but nobody came.]

Sebastian pauses, frowning.

Sebastian: …An interesting choice of mechanic.

Sebastian ends the encounter and the avatar exits right. Sans and Papyrus are waiting by a bridge on the other side.

Papyrus: YOU’RE SO LAZY!! YOU WERE NAPPING ALL NIGHT!!

Sans: i think that’s called… sleeping.

Sebastian: Regretfully, I’m actually on Mr. Papyrus’ side on this one.

Papyrus: EXCUSES, EXCUSES!

Sans and Papyrus turn to look at the avatar.

Papyrus: OH- HO! THE HUMAN ARRIVES! IN ORDER TO STOP YOU… MY BROTHER AND I HAVE CREATED SOME PUZZLES!

Sebastian rolls his eyes.

Sebastian: Well, at least they bothered to come up with an in-universe reason for gratuitous puzzle-solving, I suppose. Once again, that’s better than most games do.

Papyrus: I THINK YOU WILL FIND THIS ONE… QUITE SHOCKING!!!

The avatar starts to walk across the patch of bare ground, and Sebastian blinks, and then frowns, and then laughs, the corners of his eyes crinkling in amusement.

Sebastian: I think I could get along with this character.

Papyrus: FOR YOU SEE, THIS IS… THE, INVISIBLE… UHHHHHHH…?

Sebastian: Yes, Mr. Skeleton, not everyone is willing to play along with your foolish and pointless antics. I see this character’s attitude is going to save me quite a bit of time.

Sebastian actually looks slightly put-out by the notion.

Papyrus: HMMM… YOU MUST BE HAVING CULTURE SHOCK. YOU SEE, WHERE I COME FROM, IT’S A LOVING TRADITION. TO SUFFER THROUGH HORRIBLE PUZZLES FOR NO REASON.

Sebastian sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose.

Sebastian: This feels oddly familiar, for some reason… Though of course, as the playable character is the one visiting here, they are indeed being rather rude. It saves me time, but not that much time, I suspect.

The avatar continues to approach the skeletons.

Papyrus: SO, UH, JUST WALK BACK THERE, AND…

The avatar does not move. Both skeletons turn south.

Papyrus: SIGH… WHY COULDN’T WE GET A HUMAN THAT LIKES PUZZLES???

Papyrus exits right.

Sebastian: My amusement at the character’s attitude aside, I would have preferred to be allowed to play the puzzles as I wished. They are a fundamental part of this sort of game, after all.

The avatar moves towards Sans and interacts.

Sans: it would make my brother happy if you played along.

Sebastian: Surprisingly, that is not my primary concern.

The avatar exits right, crosses the bridge on the other side, and passes by several trees and a snowball.

Sebastian: I’ve said it a few times already, but I’m continually fascinated by many of the stylistic choices this game makes. They all seem to be geared in a certain direction, but I’m not sure I understand what they’re trying to say as yet. I assume I will later.

The avatar exits top right, walks past both doghouses, and then returns left. Sebastian grimaces.

Sebastian: Dogs.

Eventually, the avatar exits bottom-right and emerges with the two skeletons again, and a piece of paper on the ground to their left.

Papyrus: HUMAN!!! I HOPE YOU’RE READY FOR… SANS!! WHERE’S THE PUZZLE!!!

Sebastian: At this stage, what on earth makes him think I would complete a puzzle?

Sans: it’s right there. on the ground.

Sebastian: Somehow, I’m not surprised in the least.

Sans: trust me. there’s no way they’ll skip this one.

The avatar walks past the piece of paper. Sebastian looks pained.

Papyrus: SANS!!! THAT DID NOTHING!!!

Sans: whoops. knew i should have put down junior jumble instead.

Sebastian: Oh yes, I certainly would have been far more interested in that, rather than- whatever it is that’s on the ground there.

Papyrus: WHAT?!? JUNIOR JUMBLE!? FINALLY, SOMETHING WE CAN BOTH AGREE ON.

Papyrus exits right. The avatar moves to interact with Sans.

Sans: guess you don’t like word searches, huh? me neither. i’m more of a funny pages kinda guy.

Sebastian: Of course you are. They share your high-brow sense of humor, Mr. Skeleton.

The avatar exits right, finding a piece of paper, a table with spaghetti on top, and a microwave. The top wall has a small mouse hole. Sebastian smirks and the avatar goes to interact with the piece of paper.

[It’s a note from Papyrus…]

[HUMAN!! PLEASE ENJOY THIS SPAGHETTI. (LITTLE DO YOU KNOW, THIS SPAGHETTI IS A TRAP… DESIGNED TO ENTICE YOU!!! YOU’LL BE SO BUSY EATING IT… THAT YOU WON’T REALIZE THAT YOU AREN’T PROGRESSING!! THOROUGHLY JAPED AGAIN BY THE GREAT PAPYRUS!!! NYEH-HEH-HEH, PAPYRUS)]

Sebastian chuckles.

Sebastian: Not much of an antagonist… or a human-hunter. And that laugh is still awful.

The avatar interacts with the save point, the spaghetti, and the microwave.

[10 left.]

[(It’s a plate of frozen spaghetti. It’s so cold, it’s stuck to the table…)]

[(It’s an unplugged microwave. All of the settings say “spaghetti.”)]

Sebastian rolls his eyes.

Sebastian: Idiot.

The avatar continues on until it reaches two dogs, which come up from the south exit.

?: What’s that smell? (Where’s that smell?) If you’re a smell… (…Identify yoursmellf!)

The two dogs wander the screen around the avatar for a few seconds before converging on it.

?: Hmmm… Here’s that weird smell… It makes me want to eliminate… (…Eliminate YOU!)

An encounter triggers.

Sebastian: God, when will I escape the dogs?

[Dogi assault you!]

Sebastian: The story of my life.

Sebastian swiftly kills Dogaressa, and then the depressed Dogamy.

Sebastian: When will I be free from the dogs…

The avatar continues to make progress, and passes by what appears to be a completed puzzle. Sebastian looks put-out again.

Sebastian: I actually would like to complete a puzzle at some point, please!

The avatar exits right, finding a grayscale board with Papyrus and Sans on the right side, standing by a machine.

Papyrus: HEY! IT’S THE HUMAN! YOU’RE GONNA LOVE THIS PUZZLE!

The avatar starts to cross the board, and Sebastian sighs, a look of resignation on his face as the avatar stops halfway across.

Sebastian: This is getting rather annoying.

Papyrus: IT WAS MADE BY THE GREAT… ARE YOU SERIOUS? SANS!!! HELP!!!

A flicker of a smile crosses Sebastian’s face. He does not explain this.

Papyrus: THEY KEEP WALKING THROUGH MY PUZZLES! THEY’RE SUPPOSED TO LET ME EXPLAIN THEM. THEN THREATEN AND BAFFLE THEM WITH DANGEROUS JAPES.

Sebastian looks exasperatedly amused.

Sebastian: This character could not be less threatening if he wasn’t a skeleton. He can do as he likes, of course, but…

Sans: well, maybe they don’t like japes.

Papyrus: EVERYONE LIKES JAPES!!!

Sans: what about undyne? doesn’t she hate puzzles?

Papyrus: SHE HATES PUZZLES. BUT SHE LOVES JAPES.

Sebastian: The distinction is vital, of course- though I couldn’t tell you what it is.

Sans: that makes sense.

Papyrus: HUMAN!! WHAT DO YOU THINK!? PUZZLES OR JAPES? … … OKAY, THIS IS NORMALLY THE PART. WHERE YOU EITHER AGREE OR DISAGREE. AND DEPENDING ON YOUR ANSWER. WE SAY SOMETHING GREAT IN RESPONSE. …HERE, WHY DON’T YOU DO THIS PUZZLE YOURSELF.

Papyrus leaves a piece of paper on the ground and slowly exits right.

Sebastian: Well, he is attempting to be helpful. He would be meeting with more success, however, if he was remotely capable of comprehending the problem at hand. Perhaps being a skeleton is suppressing his self-preservation instincts?

The avatar ignores the paper and interacts with Sans.

Sans: hey… puzzles might be fun. if you tried them.

Sebastian looks irritated.

Sebastian: Yes, I actually happen to agree with that. If I was permitted to try them.

The avatar exits right, passes the dog house, and saves.

[6 left.]

Sebastian: Mini-bosses, I assume.

The avatar exits right again and encounters another puzzle, which Sebastian solves on the first try. He still smiles slightly as the avatar exits right.

Sebastian: Well, at least that wasn’t a complete waste.

The avatar exits bottom and finds Sans.

Sans: what’s up?

Sebastian: What, nothing else?

The avatar goes left and finds Sans on the other side unreasonably quickly. Sebastian smirks slightly and the avatar interacts with Sans.

Sans: say… are you following me?

Sebastian: Clearly, I have nothing better to do.

The avatar exits left, wanders around, and an encounter triggers. It is skipped without comment, and the avatar exits top again, and then right.

Sebastian: Quite a bit of fairly pointless wandering. Am I missing something, I wonder? Though that may be an engineered feeling.

The avatar continues on and finally encounters a number of small piles of snow, ending in a large, excitable armored dog which emerges from another. Sebastian pinches the bridge of his nose again.

[It’s the Greater Dog.]

Sebastian: My worst nightmare.

Sebastian defeats this foe easily.

Sebastian: There isn’t much challenge to this game, is there? Is that, too, deliberate?

Sebastian smirks.

Sebastian: Then again, I may simply be uncommonly good at it.

The avatar continues on, eventually coming to one end of a bridge. On the other, Papyrus and Sans waited.

Papyrus: HUMAN! THIS IS YOUR FINAL AND MOST DANGEROUS CHALLENGE!

Sebastian: I haven’t been given any challenges yet.

Papyrus: BEHOLD! THE GAUNTLET OF DEADLY TERROR!

Six different weapons emerge from various parts of the screen, in between the avatar and the skeletons. Sebastian raises his eyebrows and smirks.

Sebastian: Why, Mr. Skeleton, I never would have attributed such viciousness to your character!

Papyrus: WHEN I SAY THE WORD, IT WILL FULLY ACTIVATE! CANNONS WILL FIRE! SPIKES WILL SWING! BLADES WILL SLICE! EACH PART WILL SWING VIOLENTLY UP AND DOWN! ONLY THE TINIEST CHANCE OF VICTORY WILL REMAIN!!!

Sebastian looks unimpressed.

Papyrus: ARE YOU READY!? BECAUSE! I! AM! ABOUT! TO DO IT!

A pause. Papyrus turns away. Sebastian looks irritated.

Sans: well? what’s the holdup?

Papyrus: HOLDUP!? WHAT HOLDUP!? I’M… I’M ABOUT TO ACTIVATE IT NOW!

Pause.

Sebastian: Oh, for goodness’ sake.

Sans: that, uh, doesn’t look very activated.

Papyrus: WELL! …THEY’RE PROBABLY GOING TO WALK THROUGH IT. AND IT WON’T BE ANY FUN AT ALL.

Sebastian: You know, I’m not surprised in the least. And, of course, he doesn’t at all realize that once he activates it, ‘just walking through it’ is actually the entire point…

Sans: hmmm… so this human thing was a bust, huh?

Papyrus: WELL. I MEAN. I’M EXCITED TO CAPTURE THEM. SO I’LL BECOME A FAMOUS ROYAL GUARDSMAN!!!

Sebastian: You may try, Mr. Skeleton.

Papyrus: BUT ALL THE TIME I PUT INTO THESE PUZZLES… IT’S KIND OF LIKE THROWING A BIRTHDAY PARTY…

Sans: without traps and fire?

Papyrus: EXACTLY!! IT’S POINTLESS!!!

Sebastian: Goodness. I am violently reminded of far too many people.

Papyrus: MAYBE YOU WERE RIGHT TO BE LAZY ABOUT PUZZLES.

Sans: me? right about something? really?

Papyrus: …YEAH!! WHAT AM I SAYING! YOU’RE STILL COMPLETELY WRONG! I JUST HAVE THE WRONG AUDIENCE! THINK ABOUT HOW MUCH FUN UNDYNE WOULD HAVE HERE! FLAMES, VIOLENCE, IT’S RIGHT UP HER ALLEY!

Sebastian rolls his eyes.

Sebastian: Far too many people.

Papyrus: SO I WON’T WASTE THIS PUZZLE ON YOU. I JUST HAVE TO APPRECIATE… THE FRIEND I ALREADY HAVE!!!

Sebastian: And perhaps your brother, supporting you every step of the way. But that’s none of my business, of course.

The weapons withdraw and Papyrus turns away.

Papyrus: PHEW! A VALUABLE LIFE LESSON!!! NYEH HEH HEH!!!

Sebastian scowls as he reads the laugh, but does not drop the in-character voice. Papyrus exits right.

Sebastian: Another waste of time, I see.

The avatar exits right, passing Sans this time. Soon it comes to a town, which is mostly quiet. The avatar enters a building, and what appears to be a shopping screen pops up.

[But nobody came.]

Sebastian: That flavor text is going to haunt me in my rare attempts to sleep.

Sebastian selects ‘read’ first.

[(There’s a note here.) Please don’t hurt my family.]

Sebastian: This isn’t a game, this is a lecture on why it doesn’t actually pay to murder people who annoy you.

Sebastian then selects ‘steal.’

[You took 758G from behind the counter.]

Sebastian: And plenty of good that does me if I have no need to buy anything because the shopkeeper has apparently run away.

Sebastian selects ‘take’ and takes one of each item. Then he closes the shopping screen and the avatar continues to explore the area. It is abandoned. The avatar interacts with the sparkling save point.

[Determination.]

The avatar wanders right and finds a monster. Sebastian raises one eyebrow and the avatar interacts with it. He chooses a squeaky voice for the character.

?: Yo, everyone ran away and hid somewhere. Man, adults can be so dumb sometimes, haha… Don’t they know we’ve got Undyne to protect us!?

Sebastian [deadpan]: A tiny moron.

The avatar continues right, but every building it enters is abandoned. Sebastian frowns.

Sebastian: Then why bother to develop the town so thoroughly at all…?

Finally, the avatar exits right into a misty area. It continues right until it is obscured, and then stops and appears as a shadow. A moment later, a shadow Papyrus appears as well. Sebastian sighs, frowning.

Sebastian: Ah. From the looks of the scenery, I’d say it’s time.

Papyrus: HALT, HUMAN!

The avatar steps forward.

Papyrus: HEY, QUIT MOVING WHILE I’M TALKING TO YOU!

Sebastian smirks faintly.

Sebastian: I suppose it is rather rude. But it won’t matter soon, Mr. Skeleton.

Papyrus: I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, HAVE SOME THINGS TO SAY. FIRST: YOU’RE A FREAKING WEIRDO!

Sebastian snorts.

Papyrus: NOT ONLY DO YOU NOT LIKE PUZZLES. BUT THE WAY YOU SHAMBLE ABOUT FROM PLACE TO PLACE… THE WAY YOUR HANDS ARE ALWAYS COVERED IN DUSTY POWDER. IT FEELS… LIKE YOUR LIFE IS GOING DOWN A DANGEROUS PATH.

Sebastian’s expression falls into something unreadable.

Papyrus: HOWEVER! I, PAPYRUS, SEE GREAT POTENTIAL WITHIN YOU! EVERYONE CAN BE A GREAT PERSON IF THEY TRY!

Sebastian stops, and remains silent and motionless for five seconds.

Papyrus: AND ME, I HARDLY HAVE TO TRY AT ALL!!! NYEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!

Sebastian does not react to either of these statements and reads them somewhat mechanically, though still in his chosen voice. The avatar steps forward again.

Papyrus: HEY, QUIT MOVING! THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT! HUMAN! I THINK YOU ARE IN NEED OF GUIDANCE! SOMEONE NEEDS TO KEEP YOU ON THE STRAIGHT AND NARROW! BUT WORRY NOT! I, PAPYRUS… WILL GLADLY BE YOUR FRIEND AND TUTOR! I WILL TURN YOUR LIFE RIGHT AROUND!!!

The avatar continues to walk forward. Sebastian’s voice has regained his energy, but he is still expressionless.

Papyrus: I SEE YOU ARE APPROACHING. ARE YOU OFFERING A HUG OF ACCEPTANCE?

Sebastian [softly]: Fool.

Papyrus: WOWIE!! MY LESSONS ARE ALREADY WORKING!! I, PAPYRUS, WELCOME YOU WITH OPEN ARMS!

An encounter triggers and Sebastian flinches, and then scowls.

[Papyrus is sparing you.]

Sebastian: He really is precisely that kind of idiot, isn’t he? Goodness.

Sebastian scowls for a moment longer, and then kills Papyrus in silence.

Papyrus: W-WELL, THAT’S NOT WHAT I EXPECTED… BUT… ST… STILL!

Sebastian cuts himself off. His eyes go wide and begin to glow bright crimson, and his canines lengthen into fangs. Three seconds pass, and then the glow fades from his eyes, his fangs shrink away, and he relaxes. He looks melancholy. Two more seconds pass, and he reads the dialogue in a quiet and unadorned voice.

Papyrus: I BELIEVE IN YOU! YOU CAN DO A LITTLE BETTER! EVEN IF YOU DON’T THINK SO! I… I PROMISE…

Three seconds of silence pass.

Sebastian: Well. If I had known he was that sort of character, I might have paid more mind to him earlier on. All the same… it is too late now, I suppose.

Two more seconds of silence pass, and then the avatar begins to walk again.

#sebastian michaelis #kuroshitsuji #black butler #undertale #I WROTE THIS IN ONE NIGHT????#I DON'T KNOW HOW THIS HAPPENED???????#IT IS THREE IN THE MORNING AND I'VE BEEN WORKING ON THIS FOR FOUR HOURS STRAIGHT??????????#fanfiction #my writing #yes sebastian named his character ciel #he thought it was funny cause it was a helpless kid #WHAT THE FUCK @ ME

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ethicallysourcedhumanmeat · 2 years ago

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lmao how come its always the person who does the absolute least acting like they're being worked to death???

this nasty old lady i work with keeps putting her shit sights on me. she thinks I'm spoiled, and getting special treatment, meanwhile the special treatment is...

-I get supervisor tasks bc our department 2nd is on medical leave and I already know how to do them from when our last 2nd was acting manager

-I 'leave early' also known as I can sit down in the middle of my shift for and hour bc I'm chronically not ok and my joints will seize up, so if I get all my shit done, I punch for my lunch 1hr before I'm off, get my groceries, punch back in from lunch, then i punch out to go home so i technically took my lunch and payroll doesnt have to manually fix it and i dont put the department over hours

-new one, I get to 'just change my shifts on a whim' because Im the only canteen person who will work sundays means every Sunday i work, if this specific bitch needs a Saturday night off I'm the only other deli closer, if the one other canteen lady books a saturday off (which she does every 2nd week) its me, if the boss needs a saturday off its fucking me opening the deli. As a consolation prize for this shitty reality my boss acknowledges I get the privilege of, if I work a canteen shift, doing backshift, which yes absolutely means I was scheduled for 8 hours and finished in 6 and did not stay and put the order away for her, bc thats literally the only reason for her to be there befire the store opens

like no one wants to do what I do, I like the work I do, I am fucking good at it and I have no problem getting it all done bc I dont hover over everyone else in the department.

I know my boss spoke to her about leaving me alone because she's amped up again but jesus shitting christ.

we have a new girl, and shes learning but slowly. everyone is frustrated because she got hired fulltime but isn't as fast as she could be a month in. personallyi dont care how many hours she guarenteed I'm frustrated that she's slow bc she's supposed to be my relief, but she's getting better shes learning 2 deots at once its whatever. 2 weeks ago I was mad bc I closed after this girl and had all the dayshift tasks plus my regular shit. I managed mostly.

last Saturday I opened which i dont normally do and new girl closed. nasty lady was offered a shift just doing my 6 catering trays for the next day, it took her 5.5 hours to do 6 trays ttgat take 20mins each tops. but whatever I was able to put an order away, do all my grab and go trays, tray prep for the next 3 days and work most of my stock, which gave me an hour to just really throughly go over procedures with the new girl since she'd mentioned feeling lost and not knowing how to figure out what to do, or where to find/put things.

I went over reductions in the case and on the floor and the nasty lady pulls me aside and starts telling me not just that I'm doing it wrong but when I point out ive been doing this 3 years, she says "well if [dept manager] sees youll get in shit" i repeat 3 years i do reductions like this bc the DM tells me to "well the GSM isnt going to like it if he sees" genuinely i know Im fine bc we actually had this conversation, like the thing about be trusted with dept running shit is being spoken to like I'm an equal my management. neither of these threats are threatening bc im not afraid of the mangers and I'm doing anything wrong. after i left she told the new girl idshown her everything the wrong way

and i spoke to my boss about it, mostly bc i wanted to varify nothing had changed procedurally and I'd just missed it but also bc I'm fucking sick of being threatened with management when I'm not doing anything wrong and also working myself to death, especially not by a person who cant do half the work i get done

#long post #sorry #lmao #like my boss is apologetic #and its whatever #id rather work 10pm-4am while theres are no customers in the store #if I'm doing canteen #and then deli doesn't have to dance around me to get their trays done #like i ain't pressed #about the weekends really

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knucklehe4d · 6 years ago

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Hello love!! I’m here for you!! Sometimes when I am sad I like to talk about things that make me happy instead, to distract myself?? But other times you just gotta let the sadness run its course, let yourself feel all of it and work your own way through it to come out on the other side feeling lighter and happier.. so whichever you need right now I’m here for you!! If you want to rant about the sad things some more I’ll listen and if you want to talk about something else we can do that too! 💖

maybe i could do a little lf both? ill startsad things reslly suck i dont get to see my boyfriend much and its not really my fault or his but it’s straining things a tiny bit and im stuck at home all day its so boring it’s detrimental to my mental health and it makes things worse every day and sometimes i take things out on people close to me on accident and i know it’s wrong so i immediately apologize but i still feel awful for doing it. my family is pretty mean and neglectful to me they always have been but the older i get the worse it gets? im a neet and im ashamed of it. i want to hang out with friends but no one has time or doesnt feel like it and i dont hold that against snybody but it still makes me really sad. i crave attention affection and human interaction like oxygen. my cat had to be put down today and i expected it but it couldve been avoided if my mother took care of him yet im still absolutely devastated. im off my sleeping pills and its making things even more worse long story short got allergic to new meds that were supposed to help with sleep and paranoidnthoughts so now im stuck without till next appointment. im bad at everything i do. im too scared to play fallout even though i really really want to. im having a lot of panic attacks now too and imdisgusted with myself a lot anymore. my sisters are in school now so im alone during the day and im so fucking lonely. im so lonely. im probably malnourished but thats the least of my problems. im also terrified im getting fat so i starve myself then binge in a relapse! im so tired all the time. i could go on but i feel like this is long enough. what makes me happy? being with my boyfriend is number 1 hes one of the best things to ever happen to me i adore him to bits and pieces i love him bunches banana bunches im bananas over him and his cat is such a baby i love him too and his kid is a sweetheart i love him and the whole package its the best thing in my life. i love my cat but i dont spend enough time with him snymore we usually are together every waking second but the basement has the ps4 and he used to not be able to come down here cause of my cat that just passed but now he can and it makes me so sad but glad at the same time. i love my babies and this might sound bad but my cat is MY cat the one who just passed is more of a family cat but i still love them the same does that make sense? i hate being alone im glad hes gonna be here with me. i love being with my friends whenever i can which is so rare anymore but when i am with them i have so much fun. i love listening to my shitty music from 2012. i love making new friends and growing close with people thats definitely a top 5 anime miracles. games are a lot of fun even though im awful like i said. the office has been there for me besides my cat the most lately jfjdisjfjjf umm guitar hero is fun i might play it once i finish this the old one on the wii. maybe even wii sports!!!! also i wanna be friends with this one person but were both alike and its hard to initiate convo and keep it going so im 💀 also i really like clay slime. and buying things. and drinking :) which i do in a good amount! im only drinking rn on a sunday cause ive had such a rough day. it be like that sometimes. i love getting anons they make me so happy i looooove anons and asks. i cant rly think of anything else but this is long enough ithink sorry its so long! i got into it thank you so much for giving me the opportunity though i love you

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survivormagictreehouse · 4 years ago

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Episode #7 “#Zachexposed Party” -Jess

-VI was voted out and now I’m forever sad. I wish you the best VI and hope you feel better soon! Goal #1 can never be accomplished now so that’s a bummer. But at least my alliance member RACHAEL wasn’t voted out! And now we’re doing Touchy Subjects with 95% negative answers. Drama here we come!

-We won another Challenge! Annie Tribe curse has been officially broken! Touchy Subjects was the name, and me winning was the game. I don’t ducking know. But I scored the highest on my tribe and won a ~mysterious package~ which turned out to be an idol clue. “Find the idol will no longer be a walk on the shore. In order to succeed, two items you will need.” So at least three searches in the idol search I suppose. I might share the clue with JESS and BIRCH and have them help me find the idol. Though I might just tell them part of the clue or something so they don’t have the whole picture. I’m undecided. I’m really hoping the other tribe votes off ALI, COLLIN or RUTHIE, since I think I’m the least likely to work with any of those three. RACHAEL must stay, BODHI I could work with and TIMMY I’m neutral on. CINDI is a bit of a wildcard but I think I could manage to work with her as well. JESS is speculating there’s a merge after the vote and I’m inclined to agree with that. A new idol search and we’ll be at 13 players which is a typical merge. I did not come into this game expecting to win, or even make the merge. But now I think I have a real shot at going far. Imagine me getting to FTC twice in a row in Atomic. How cool would that be?

Death by Skittle

-(this is for last round i am a bit late) Last round in the video challenge, which I ended up somehow becomming the editor for. First of all, I asked for the video clips to be in by sunday night so that I could do the video and be done with it, but Chips put it off and ended up making us wait till Monday morning which really set us back. Then Keegan submitted videos with almost no sound and little feeling so it was hard to use any of his clips. Then Jess decided to edit the video I made, and when she did that the lyrics didnt match the song anymore and it almost cost us the challenge. We also found out Birch has a +10 advantage, so need to be aware of that.Birch and Chips are my biggest targets on this tribe, and i am still ina really good spot with Zach and Jess, and close allies with Gavin and Keegan

-This round was touchy subjects. The tribe thought that I was the mvp of the tribe which makes me a possible target with the merge coming up. It was also revealed birch is not in a great place on my tribe and they also said they believe the majority of the tribe thinks I am next to go. I am concerned about my placement with them. Overall this round made me a bit nervous, but excited to hope for a merge in the future.

-There's a Mesopotamia/Svalbard alliance with Bodhi, Rachael, Collin, and me which I love cause I love all those people except Rachael sometimes but she hasn't had to do schoolwork once this game so that's nice. I'm just kidding I love Rachael as long as she doesn't have homework. Cause when she has homework that means she's voting me out. I swear the moment she has to do schoolwork its' done. And then Ali and Bodhi are on weird ground because of how Bodhi got rid of Ali in Lover BUT I REALLY WANT US TO HAVE AN ALLIANCE CALLED THE LOVERS CAUSE 1) Ali is very loyal so, like, I want to work with him 2) THAT NAME IS GREAT AND I DEMAND IT IN MY LIFE Then there's Timmy who has only spoken to me on call or in tribe chat. Nothing beyond that. So, like, bye Timmy. Bodhi also has an issue with Timmy but Rachael swears he's okay. But I don't want to have two Timmys anyway. What even are their last initials? Don't care enough to learn them. BYE TIMMY! Then there's Ruthie who is very sweet and I don't think super strategic? At least not at this point. She just seems like a nice mom. I don't even know if she is a mom. But she would be a nice one to, like, a 3? year old. Idk. Mom vibes. So I'd like to keep her in and I'm assuming that touchy subjects leads to a swap or merge (but this is a very early merge) so, like, hopefully she doesn't have to go after Timmy. It's absolutely insane to me that all of the tribals I've been to have been easy votes? Something spicy needs to happen sometime. Other tribe has had interesting votes. Not us. Couldn't be us.

-So Timmy thinks Collin, Rachael, him, and I are voting Bodhi out and possibly Ruthie as well. Yet he has still not messaged me once. Sir, why would I vote out Bodhi, whom I love dearly, to save your sorry ass when you have not even spoke to me? This dude either has an idol or is just crazy cause, like, that is not how you play Survivor. Do you actually want to stay? Then talk.

-okay! so we have quite a bit to catch up on... but on the bright side. WE WON IMMUNITY FOR ONCE! HALLELUJAH! i got sent to the treehouse which was EXCITING and i found the idol clue... which was literally to the idol i had so that was DISAPPOINTING to say the least. however, i also found the location of the other idol but someone else has it, which is good info to have at least. i posted a lot of my important information in my confessional, so i am just going to repost it here. basically, jess and i had a really good call about how we are not on the bottom, but are not in a good spot come merge. it's clear who is in power over here (zach, keegan, timmy)--because birch is with keegan, so we can't make a move against zach. so, if we lose again chips will leave (who is arguably a number for us because jess has him wrapped around his finger). on the other hand, i kind of have an in with zach and keegan--so i want to be able to milk that for as long as possible to get information on others in the game. but i am really not liking the closeness of timmy and zach especially (kind of keegan, but he has been a bit more lowkey the past few rounds, which is smart on his part). i just have a lot of adjusting to do, and i need to start planting seeds to turn people against each other (especially if we are merging soon). i feel good with rachael obviously, but i don't know how close she is with keegan/zach--but i do think she would turn on them eventually (just not anytime soon). im hoping the apparent alliance of 6 (now 4) and keegan/timmy/zach kind of battle one another and take each other out and i can just play the middle and watch them crumble.

-ARE WE SURPRISED MY CONFESSIONAL IS LATE AGAIN? I AM NOT... BUT I AM SORRY. anyways, this round the challenge was touchy subjects which was LOVELY for me because i am fucking AMAZING at knowing what other people are thinking so i basically knew i had it in the bag from the get-go. When we won, and I got that secret advantage which was an idol clue... that literally made no sense to me. however, i think i need to find two keys in order to get the idol... so, the first step for me is to hunt down these goddamn keys i guess. anyways, back to the tribe stuff... so, following the challenge and the post-winning glee emerged, jess and i went on call and discussed everything we were thinking. we were both very worried about crackhead zach's connections, and basically knew that we were merging, and he would be kind of untouchable as a result. however, if we were to have thrown the challenge, it would have been the perfect opportunity to take him out. however, it was too late to consider that, and we just had to continue our discussion about the game further down the line. so, on the topic of zach, jess mentions the "alliance" made between her, timmy, and zach. we both knew zach and timmy were very close, but this just confirmed it even more. basically, zach brought up the idea of making a 9 person alliance excluding ali, birch, chips, and i believe cindi. which, from that point, they could side with either me/keegan, or side with the other four (i don't know why i am being paired with keegan but go off i guess). i obviously didn't like hearing that, and it made it even more clear to me that he is playing not only a messy game, but an extremely wishy-washy game too. his loyalties seem to be all over the place, and i never see myself being one of his top priorities with collin, timmy, and rachael (and others) in the game. so, when the time is right... i am going to be the one to send his ass to ponderosa. i just hope i can keep my idol in the process for protection further down the line.

https://youtu.be/UolbDzsPoho (round 6)

https://youtu.be/wLA8Pt4bXlQ

https://youtu.be/jn8XxFsmPQU

So it’ll probably be between myself and Bodhi at tribal tonight because I don’t really want him gone. He’s talking to me about a plan but he’s not giving an concrete answers and with that then I can’t help both of us. I already told him ruthie but he didn’t want to and I said that’s fine I only said her bc she seemed the easiest option, tbh I don’t really want her gone either since she’s not a threat. But when asking who he wants after that bc he said we could have our og tribe and ruthie vote together he didn’t give a name. The concern is, Rachel and Cindi are friends and I don’t think will vote each other. The biggest threat is Rachel because of her outside connections with Cindi, Zach, and I think Timmy Z, so concern is there.

https://youtu.be/cX7Ieh2o3QU

https://youtu.be/HGm7ukcUEcU

Ladies, gentlemen, or whatever you identify as.... welcome to Phase 1 of the.... #Zachexposed party... hosted by me, Jess! I've decided I've been tame for too long and there needs to be a shake up. I haven't decided how quickly I want to do this BUT if I win first immunity I'm going for it. Zach is arguably the most dangerous player in the game right now. He's literally playing the game I typically play and I see right through it. No "large groups", working with small groups only, making people feel like they are his "true number ones" and attempting to align their interests with all the other groups. In his mind right now he sees himself covered by 8 people.

The 8 people: 1. Jess 2. Timmy Z 3. Gavin 4. Cindi 5. Rachael 6. Collin 7. Collin 8. Either Timmy L or Bodhi How does this all work exactly?

Let me break it all down for you: He has an alliance with: - Me & Timmy - Keegan & Gavin & (Rachael) - Me & Gavin & Timmy & Keegan - Connections with: --> Collin/Rachael/Cindi on the other tribe. I don't think it is a coincidence that the other tribe wants him on their team... ANYWAYS.

What is phase 1 exactly? - Planting the seeds, laying down the blue print, and rallying the misfits. How: Rallying the troops: - I told Chips about the old tree house idol clue and the whole next round we are merging message I recieved. --> Obviously that builds a continued line of communication and hopefully trust. He feels pretty alone and I really think he's CRUCIAL to my game. - I also told Birch about my findings because those two (Chips and Birch) would never compare notes on me I don't think? --> Birch also feels a bit alone and they are CRUCIAL to my game. Lastly, I have an "alliance" with everyone else and they will tell Gavin everything before me so I'll be in the know.

The ammo: - I can use the fact that the other tribe wants ZACH with them as another counter point - Confessionals of proof that Zach/Collin have been close recently which might not even mean anything to people but it counts when you got NOTHING. - The knowledge of him having an alliance with me/Timmy - The knowledge of him having an alliance with Keegan/Gavin - The knowledge of him having an alliance with Keegan/Gavin/Rachael - The knowledge of him being extra close with Rachael so whatever connections she made.. he has a head start on. - I also know he's close with Collin so they could essentially do the whole "control one side and you control the other"

HOWEVER THE MOST IMPORTANT PIECE OF EVIDENCE/ AMMO IS: - Zach has basically given me the key to the palace today where he told me we could flip on Gavin/Keegan at 9 and "go with the other four" meaning.. Cindi/Bodhi/Collin/Rachael. Meaning.... he exposed who is he close with and people might wonder how they fit into his plans. Can't go to final 2 with 8 other people... 7 people will get cut and that's on mathematics. I'm not entirely sure how to go about this all... this is probably going to either tank my game or change the game. If Zach is as well connected as I think he is... this is going to be hard. I'll need to flip the people not in on that plan such as Ali, Chips, Birch, myself, Gavin, Ruthie... but there is NO WAY Ali just votes with us like that.. he has his allegiances. So I have to be subtle about this or I go gun blazing and be crackedt. I know we are merging tonight and it will be a new game and I'm excited.

-this tribal is about to be messy af. timmy threw my name out to ali, bodhi and ruthie with the logic that "itd be entertaining" and that im well connected which is fair. but im also well connected so like...ali and bodhi both told me about it which is cute. so if everything goes the way timmy wants it to go, its gonna be ali, bodhi ruthie on me and me, cindi and collin on bodhi leaving timmy as the swing vote. HOWEVER the tribe wants timmy out unan. bodhi and i might throw votes on ruthie just to protect me in case of an idol but yeah. its gonna be a fun one.

-there has been talk of a 2-1-1-1-1-1 split for this vote. i really wanna do it but cindi said no :'(

-also if i find out through this whole mess that Bodhi was playing me, i think i will cry for the rest of my life

hello so confessional time. I've been really deflated and second guessing myself but I'm turning it around. timmy is going home tonight and love him but he is donezo. in other news: - cindi, collin and bodhi...? defo a group. - had a kill bill sirens moment thinking cindi was blindsiding me earlier because of a miscommunication related to the fact that there are two timmys in the cast - am now in an alliance with cindi collin and ruthie co loves of my life - I think I made rachael mad today NNN my bad but im prepared and READY for 13th

So... I guess I am not very well liked on my tribe based on touchy subjects. I kind of got that impression anyway since I have been borderline inactive with the move. Anyway Jess told me that there is a merge coming up according to the tree house or whatever so... I hope I dont fizzle out and get booted right at merge. Not sure who to connect with but!!! I am ready to swing if the other side needs me .

Click HERE to watch the Round 7 Cast Assessment!

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