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#at least i wrote something i guess
raiiny-bay · 6 months
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the kids released a new album
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youchangedmedestiel · 5 months
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I have 5 different fic ideas writing down in my phone memo. They all came to me in the space of a week.
I think I'm cursed with ideas and no time to explore them.
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waywardstation · 5 months
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WIP FRIDAY
I apologize for getting this out two days late, I’ve been busy with lots of packing and events! But I have a little reprieve, so I wanted to post another WIP; this one is from Heart Full, Bowl Empty.
BE AWARE THAT THIS SEGMENT INVOLVES A CONVERSATION REVOLVING AROUND UNWILLING BUT INTENTIONAL STARVATION. I know there are people who say they can’t read this fic because of themes like this, so be aware of this before reading this WIP!!
I included this snippet in today’s WIP because I have like three versions of the entire segment this snippet is from. I feel like it’s a really important segment with a really important conversation, and I’ve had a hard time balancing all the emotions the way I want to between Ingo and Akari, with frustration, sadness, anger, and empathy, to realistically get them to the resolution I want at the end of it.
The final version will probably only include a few parts from this particular segment.
Enjoy!!
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“I knew it! You’re doing it again!” Akari’s eyebrows scrunched, trying to understand through the frustration. “You said you wouldn’t!”
“Circumstances will improve soon.” Clearly done with the conversation, that was all Ingo said, but it was confession enough that he had fallen back on his word. Shame contaminated his voice, but if there was any regret, he hid it well.
“No, it won’t!” They were not even half-way through winter yet. “And you know it won’t!”
Ingo said nothing as the kits carefully moved around his slumped form, finding comfortable places to settle around him. She didn’t know if he intended to snuff the conversation out with angered silence, or if he was just too exhausted to care about arguing with her anymore. If it wasn’t for his small occasional signs of movement or acknowledgement, she’d think he was actually sleeping.
Akari carefully stepped into the nesting layers, moving to sit down next to Ingo. She settled with her back against the cavern wall, pulling her knees close as a few kits shuffled around to accommodate her. “You know I’m right.”
Huffing out an irritated sigh and nothing more, it didn’t seem like Ingo had any intentions to engage with her argument anymore.
“You couldn’t even pull yourself up over the ridge,” She prodded at him again, trying to motivate more conversation out of him. “I had to help you!”
“There are many, many factors that go into that.” A reluctant answer, perhaps a reflexive attempt to quell her worry; Ingo feebly rubbed his wrapped hand, almost as a display for his excuse.
“I’ve seen you do more when you’ve been hurt worse.” Akari retorted, a little softer now but still cold.
Ingo’s eyes remained closed, though his hardened expression implied that it came across as more accusatory than she’d intended. But perhaps it was precisely the time to be accusatory.
“Ingo, you’re so tired all the time now – you stopped coming to the training grounds because you just can’t make the trips all the time anymore! And you’re sleeping so much more than you used to, and it’s like you’re always hungry all the time, even though all I see you doing anymore is gathering food!” Akari’s voice grew more jagged as she continued to jab at him, entirely uninterrupted.
It was getting difficult. With Ingo’s tunic still sopping by the bucket, still somewhat red from the exhausted effort of washing out the blood, it could not hide the ribs that pressed out just a little bit more, or help fill out what the waistline had lost under the loosening belt. The abject dread of directly acknowledging that was too much.
“And- and look! You aren’t even willing to hold a conversation with me anymore, and I don’t know if it’s because you just won’t, or because you can’t!” The kits shifted uncomfortably as Akari retreated back into her own frustration instead. “People think you’re sick, Ingo! They’re asking me about you! What are you doing?”
The exhausted man remained where he laid in the nesting material, only moving his hands to rub at his face and sigh — a deep, forced sigh that swelled his side before releasing. Akari almost didn’t think he’d answer her, but with some effort, he propped himself up first onto his elbows, then slumped forward. The teen watched him run shaky fingers through his hair as he sat next to her.
“…I don’t know what I should do.” The guilt. The weary guilt cracked his voice and tore Akari’s anger down to heartache.
#ref for fic#BE AWARE THIS IS DISCUSSING INTENTIONAL BUT UNWILLING STARVATION#tw starvation#just in case#cause I know not everyone vibes with this story#and I’ll say it’s been weird myself returning to these segments I wrote months ago and re-reading them#AND TO BE MORE CAREFUL I talk about a personal situation sort of dealing with this below#a lot has happened in the timeframe of originally writing this and coming back to this#at the end of fall I got very very sick and it lasted well into February#I unwillingly shed thirty-five pounds because I could not eat#and I didn’t notice at all until I stopped and realized just how tight I had to make my work belt#even when family members pointed it out during the holidays when they’d hug me#it wasn’t until someone got very concerned and did something about it that I realized just how bad it was#I’m sure people remember when I mentioned I had gastritis#that’s what all this was I just never really went into detail about how bad it truely was here#so coming back and reading this segment specifically#having written it months before I went through any of this#felt really really weird and a little uncomfortable#I edited Akari’s accusations a little to fit my situation more about a month back#because I did not realize just how much more stuff like this would make you want to sleep#at least in my experience#but it’s been very very just#strange I guess coming back to this#it doesn’t make me want to not work on HFBE anymore it just feels very weird
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sheliesshattered · 3 months
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somehow, I don't know how, but somehow sewing machines always know when you're nearly done with a project and pick that exact moment to throw a hissy fit
#sewing#sewing machines#I am so close to finishing this dumb swimsuit that I started in 2020 for a vacation that ended up not happening#and which I stuffed into a shoebox and into the back of my sewing stash when I realized I wouldn't get to wear it in 2020#then pulled it back out to finish for this family gathering coming up in a few days here#it's a one-piece suit and I hate one-piece swimsuits#and no one-piece has fit me off the rack since puberty so I'm stuck sewing it for myself#but I'm very happy with the design and relatively happy with the finished look#the idea is just to have something that is supportive and modest enough to wear around family#and in particular to wear to something like a waterpark with my nephews#something that won't ride up or fall down or come untied or anything like that#so it has a low-cut leg hole and a high-cut neck#and an entire invisible superstructure in the lining underneath to actually provide support and enclosure and all#it's plain black but it fits and supports and won't fly apart at the seams#but this very last step. oh this last step.#I had to drape the exterior bust area directly on me bc I can't account for curves and stretch and such if it's flat on the table#and then I had to wiggle out of it carefully with a ton of pins in the underarm and neckline area#I'm using a double-needle to top stitch the edges as a finish across the whole suit. it did one underarm and the neckline just fine!#but the turn from where the neckline meets the strap and down into the other underarm it just. won't do it.#it has thrown a fit and created a tangle of thread multiple times now. there are only 4" left to sew! just sew it!#it's not hard! we just did the exact same thing on the other side and it worked fine! but no! gotta throw a hissy fit!#ugh. anyway. I have removed all the thread and needles from the machine and turned it off and basically sent it to timeout lol#wrote this rant and gonna make myself some food and I'll fucking finish those last 4 inches later tonight or tomorrow#and then I have one tiny repair to something else I want to take on this trip. hopefully my sewing machine won't throw a fit over that too#istg the only projects this doesn't happen with are the ones that end with a bunch of handsewing#that's the way to trick my sewing machine I guess. but I'm not handsewing a swimsuit lol#at least I'm not so pressed for time that I can't just walk away from it for a bit. getting close to time to pack but not quite yet#my sewing#2024 mood#tagtalking
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nomsfaultau · 6 months
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One potential bad ending for Fault
It's a degree more possessive and controlling than SCP Philza actually is, but I just have this vision of if SCP Tubbo really did try to abandon the group on the grounds of their moral principles:
It would be a gut punch to him to for any of his Collected to betray his vow like that. But I think he could almost manage enough when they left, on the grounds of it being a vicarious Collection. The main problem is Tommy's Collection of Tubbo, because if Tommy tries to leave with Tubbo there isn't a chance of Philza allowing it. He'll keep Tommy no matter what it takes, and console him if Tubbo still decides to leave.
...but only early on. Because the moment Philza finds out Tommy only survived his recent bout of suicidality was Tubbo, there isn't a chance he lets them go. Besides, they didn't stand a chance without the others for protection. He'd promise almost anything to make Tubbo stay, and in the angst scenario Tubbo just. Wouldn't buy it. And tried to leave.
But Philza wouldn't let them. Of course not. And honestly what could Tubbo do to stop him?
The moment they tried anything he can instantly smoke them. If Philza saw it as the only option he could keep Tubbo trapped in stasis indefinitely, dipping in and out of consciousness at his whim. Awake just long enough to eat, not really lucid enough to remember what's happening. Just curled up next to Philza with their head resting in his lap, unable to hurt themselves or Tommy in this state. He could set the entire world on fire just so he could sense every last Tubbo bee and capture them harmlessly. Philza is almost perfectly designed to Secure, Contain, and Protect Tubbo in a way that makes for a delicious reflection of the Foundation. Tubbo would never stop trying to escape.
The others would be horrified, of course, even once Philza explained exactly why he's doing it. The Blade would definitely try to break them out, and it would tangle in with the guilt that part of it was his fault since they were so much easier to imprison without their legs, which could barely heal when held in stasis for so long. Wil had this extra horror with the way his identity circles around the ability to escape, and he couldn't understand it. Maybe he should've seen it coming, though, with the way Philza followed after him no matter how many times he tried to run as a kid. Eventually he'd been convinced it was for the best, but was it?
And Tommy...well. Something in him broke that day. He never really recovered.
I just have this vision of it going on for years, and Philza melting sand into a dome to trap them under so that Tubbo doesn't have to be smoked any more. After so long exposed to an embodiment of nature, the dome is filled to the brim with flourishing plant life so dense it blocks out the sky. It's trapped in a perpetual Spring year round. Fire and smoke fills the only exit so no bees can escape, and intruders will be burned alive, and he'll know if any of his children enter. Well, Tommy never leaves the 'greenhouse', but beyond that. It's well defended from any threats, though the Foundation never stops trying. Philza more often than not is in dragon form, winding around the area in an impenetrable barrier to protect his hoard. He says it's to keep them safe. It's because he's alienated himself too much from his Collected to remain humanoid. Each year the giant ever bloody gouges in his body grow a little deeper.
In the center of the dome lays Tubbos' abandoned body. The swarms don't touch it anymore, preferring what little freedom they have. They scatter around the dome, dully poking at eternally blooming flowers. Some linger around Tommy. The swarms don't talk much, either. Tubbo is scarcely distinguishable from regular bees anymore.
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parasitic-saint · 7 months
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i honestly love my yellow as fuck and crooked as hell teeth, i love how when i wear my white facepaint they stand out even more and i make anyone who see's my face get redirected to my teeth thanks to the way i decorate myself with eyeliner and lipstick!!!!
that being said i realize how taken aback people are whenever i smile to them in a more normal setting where i'm not dressed as extravagant idk where im going with this
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nappingpaperclip · 7 months
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honestly I’m fucking tired of calling my reps and begging them to care
I’ve been calling them over and over and over for the past four months begging and pleading them to speak out about what is obviously genocide
I don’t think they listen, most likely their underpaid interns got instructed to throw notes or voicemails out, but even if they do they don’t fucking care. It’s exhausting.
The White House comment line is only open for 4 hours 4 days of the week during hours most people work. If you’re able to call and wait for 20 minutes to finally speak to an intern they take a brief note and you can only hope they don’t immediately throw it out.
I’ve been doing this since I was a child. begging my reps to care about children being shot in school. begging them to care about my own schools getting bomb and gun threats every year. begging them to care about the fact that people don’t feel safe around cops. begging them to care about the growing number of people in my city becoming jobless and homeless and dying of covid. begging them like a dog to care at all about people’s lives and happiness.
I don’t know. I’m just fuckin’ tired
I won’t give up though. It’s not the only form of activism I do or the main one I give my energy to. I hope the same thing for anyone reading this. You shouldn’t just be boycotting and calling your reps, you should be attending vigils and protests and speaking about the issue of genocide to your friends and family
I’m just tired of people pretending like our representatives actually give a fuck what we think over their lobbyists and investors cause it is and has always been clear to me that they don’t. America has never been a democracy and if you think that you are deluded.
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doodlingwren · 8 months
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So, updates will be a little slow for now. I have to finish that one comic (it's still the same I was writing + drawing about 2 weeks ago or 3 I don't remember and I don't want to).
Yes, I've been working on it for the past month or so, and it's incredibly silly (playing safe here, I advise you IT will BE cringe), like, usual Wren stuff, with the only difference is that I'm doing something out of my usual comfort zone after well, a while <3 but I'm having fun nonetheless.
HOWEVER, like an IDIOT, I forgot that I'm Italian and this means Festival di Sanremo for the next 4 days at least, so my already poor concentration skills have been rightfully yeeted out of the window. No thoughts. No sleep. Just 5 hours of people singing and going completely batshit crazy (affectionate). The festival generally lasts till 2 AM so if I don't reply to comments or asks it's bc I'm sleeping lol
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theflyingfeeling · 11 months
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was supposed to write the advent calendar fics, ended up writing an extra scene for let me down slowly. woops. anyway! I hope you like it, it's Olli's POV, titled let go of my tears and you can read it on AO3 🖤
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the20thcenturykid · 1 year
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Excuse me.
I do have some criticism towards live action One Piece but there's one thing I can give to the creators - they knows what original series is about. They've got it's spirit. They knows those ropes and for me got this ship sail.
Keep it silly, keep it fun. One Piece was always about people's dreams and making others smile despite even the worst hardships, and while it's by all means not perfect, IT IS the One Piece.
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veliseraptor · 1 year
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well. I was staring at a fic going "how do I finish this", got an idea, wrote another 2.5k in the last two days, and now I'm back to staring at it going "how do I finish this" but now with 2.5k more words in it
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bmpmp3 · 3 months
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the villainess flips the script is a really fun manhwa with gorgeous art and my wonderful son luca who is a little bitch who i love so much BUT i will say. the family tree situation as the story has gone on makes my head hurt
#luca buddy im sorry ur family tree has at least one circle in it#somehow the most. ethical? incest? his parents were unknowing um. second cousins? hold on i need to work this out#are they second cousins or are they first cousins once removed. i need to consult charts#I THINK they were second cousins. lets go with that. okay so they were second cousins who didnt know they were second cousins#accidentally having a drunken one night stand and thats how luca came to be. no personal relation and apparently risk of like#genetic issues goes down with second cousins. so i guess its like. the most um. 'ethical'? it could possible be. but still :(#but also luca love interest is his second cousin too maybe? the kid of his blond great uncle???? i dont know man#all so the main character can turn out to be secretly royalty orz TOO COMPLICATED too complicated#although i guess this is how a lot of historical royal and noble families were tho. a bit circular.#that is something i would change tho if i wrote this. first of all i would make judith his bio mom instead of pretending#because i think a fl who had a drunken one night stand the dead playboy brother of her LI is just really interesting LOL#but also i would just like. remove her relation to the royal family entirely#but thats me personally. i find the main character finding out about secret royal blood trope suuuuper boring LOL#but it is common in stories like this so i deal. but in this case i would absolute strike out that plotline. maybe give it to#luca instead like make him look oddly like his great grandma and make the former king obsess over him instead#we'd still get a lot of the same plot beats because of judiths relation to him but just without the loopy family tree JKSDJHDKs#ALSO also i would make lucas relationship with rudiger stronger. NOT SAPPIER like the original in universe novel i like the difference#but i would make them closer in like a shitty uncle who sucks that you hang out with anyway and the shitty nephew u lovingly bully#sort of way. if that makes sense. one problem i have with a lot of villianess stories that have a kid in it is when the love interest like#doesn't have much of a relationship with the kid. i think its lame. i want them to be CLOSE not just like mild coworkers#but thats just me. thats just me#despite all i just said i still really like it. rudiger is cute luca is my baby boy who i love so much and judith is so silly and i love he#great characters even if i would personally alter their relationships
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aceofwonders · 7 months
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my brain: i should write something
my brain: *writes in first person present*
me: wtf is this?!
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tariah23 · 6 months
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They’re calling my baby Gojo, Joseph Joestar now
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#rambling#the diff is that Gojo did apologize after being called out and face to face with his racism whilst Joseph literally befriended nazi’s 😵‍💫#and there was never any explanation from araki as to why he’d even wrote German soldiers in the shit in the first place like that was#absolutely jarring as hell to read for the very first time back when I’d gotten into jjba#well I watched it first but you know#like Joseph really thought fondly of Stroheim as this stand up guy even though he’s first of all#a Nazi#and second#the first scene that we were introduced to was of him sexually harassing a Woman#it’s……. 🗿#still to this day I wonder if araki had ever addressed this because lord#Joseph was just happy to get the help I guess but that felt so ooc for him from what he’d seen 🗣️#happily receiving the help of a Nazi and calling them a nice guy ahhh Joseph-#Gojo would never sjjsaj#my boo boo is a little prejudice but he’s working on it 🗣️#I still think that gege was trying to have a ‘racism is bad’ moment but again#the execution was pretty awkward and it felt out of place considering what had been currently going down in the manga#like the Racism was pretty random but it was swiftly put to a stop which I can appreciate even if it shouldn’t have been a point of#conversation to begin with since why couldn’t Miguel just exist as a character instead of him being the now token negro#who everyone sees as instantly more frighteningly powerful than everyone else like this didn’t even need to be brought up wllssldk#idk gege was trying to be ‘woke’ 😭. sorry nbs and wp ruined the term for me but like basically lol#gojo’s pretty intelligent and extremely gifted but he’s never been perfect lol#it’s just that idk why gege chose to talk about antiblackness in Japan out of nowhere about the only black character on screen hehhhhhh#like gege tried but lmfao#this is so funny to me#at least it didn’t drag on putting Miguel in an even more awkward situation than he already was and it was nipped in the bud quickly#Gojo isn’t one to dwell on things but when he’s face with new information and is taught something he does try to reflect and do better and#I’m sure he probably started to become even more aware of what he’s saying especially when talking to Miguel in an honest way since that’s#always been the kind of character who he was despite the horrors#the only ppl who’ve been kinda annoying about this are nbs and white people as always 🗿
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xnervouscircus · 1 year
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oh
that's
oh
i'm
i am legitimately tearing up oh wow
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I keep listening to different pieces of music that I love and then my brain comes in all helpful with 'this sounds like great music to die with doesn't it'
#tw suicide#im just. so tired#and i know that right now part of it is im sick (not covid tho) but still.#and it's like im grieving the lost friendship all over again and what might have been#i am the best version of myself when im with the boy. but now no wonder he is avoiding me. and i don't blame him! but for some reason it's#hitting rlly hard again atm and it's just. Im Sad.#i really don't know why that's so prevalent in my mind right now#and it's rlly not safe for me to drive long distances alone i think. i find driving v stressful#and any guesses what *that* leads to#tw sh#the answer was: a frightening amount.#and then there are things i don't understand#my brother begged me to destroy the suicide note i wrote yesterday#and i don't know why. because it's very unlikely to be something that i would stop to do tbh. so what there is would at least explain#*something* perhaps. i don't know#i have spent more than half of my waking hours in the last week seriously thinking of suicide. i don't know how to stop this#and given that i've read two books in full and gone to a play i enjoyed that says something about what hte rest of the time has been filled#with. i don't know how to get out of this. in some ways i feel like it's worse now than it was bc i expected it to get better when mum and#dad got back. if anything it's worse - more constant.#the lows are not quite as low but the baseline is definitely lower#i am just feeling very hopeless rn#yesterday i was driving and reciting psalm 23 and i was so overcome with emotion and i repeated it multiple times and that helped somewhat#but only in the moment ig. i don't know. i don't know how to fix this or even improve it#if im still feeling like this on monday i am so going to walk over the road and straight-up ask to borrow a kitten overnight.#and hope the kitten doesn't decide to go near all the cuts :(#a part of me is genuinely wondering if i should check myself into a psych ward. the other parts of me say either that this isn't bad enough#for that or thta i am simply too scared to. which is true. nasty stuff in psych wards for obvious reasons#anyway i need prayers thankyou
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