#at least four separate times
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theres something really silly about orin pulling the 'ah! you thought i was a flimsy npc, some irrelevant Fuckaround McGuard, but actually its-a-me, Orin!' not once, not twice, not thrice, but FOUR separate times. she really had one god-given bit and by bhaal she is gonna drive it into the ground
#.bg3#orin the red#shes so funny#personally also justifies the amount of times i think about orin as durge gortash fucking. it happened not once not twice not thrice but at#least on four separate occasions!
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I need to tell you guys about the incredibly amazing adaptation of "The importance of being Earnest" i saw last night
It was so great it made me understand why people want to write fanfiction, I forgot how much I love theater as a medium. Especially modern adaptations of older plays, specifically comedic plays, can be made even better with elements of the modern postdramatic movement. And i feel like theatres are much more free to do what they want because they are less commercial than movies and also so much more intense and always different and the city I live in is so diverse so they can do even more because they know it will be accepted.
To come back to the play i watched, I'm not gonna write an essay, I just want to say that it was so gay Oscar Wilde would've been so fucking proud, okay thank you
#i don't really know how to put my experience into words#and my parents asked me why i liked it so much#but i didn't wanna say “the characters who are supposed to be long lost brothers had insane chemistry#and full on made out for at least half a minute at the end“#so i just said “idk i just really enjoyed it”#theatre my beloved#it's so special to me#I'm actually thinking about making a separate blog to talk about the plays i go to#which only happens like four times a years but still#yeah theatre is really special to me#okay I'm done now#no one's gonna read all this anyways
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one funny thing I've noticed among my theatre friends is that several of them have picked up this really specific word for me and I can only imagine the thought process is along the lines of
"I need a term of endearment that shows they're my friend and I care about them while making it clear that I know they are Not A Girl"
And that word is "bud"
#no but fr the amount of times I've gotten a text from one of them that starts “hey bud!”#at least four separate friends now lol. all of them cis dudes in their 20s funnily enough#to make it clear I think it's really sweet and I really appreciate the effort. it's lowkey super affirming. but I do find it a little funny
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https://youtu.be/AF2khVD8T3E?si=11ncZByQiCdJgP8v
no the official max account posting this 2012 era fan video of daemyra. sidenote the art of the relationship journey video has been lost...
I see hbo nordic intern got a promotion and is doing gods work on main now 😭😭😭
#asks#daemon x rhaenyra#hotd#also @ other anon thank u for the link as well! this feels like old days when something on daemyra twitter happened and i got at least#four separate messages about it each time ♡ feeling the love yall 🫡
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i was talking to my therapist last week about how i'm kinda excited but also equally apprehensive about starting grad school this fall because yes, i so so desperately needed a gap year otherwise i think i literally would have killed myself and/or had a breakdown big enough to land me in the hospital, and even beyond that i just needed to figure out a more concrete plan of what i'm going to do with my life in general -- while all of that is true, and i'm glad i took the gap year for it, i'm also apprehensive because i genuinely feel like an entirely different person than i was even at this exact point in time last year, nevermind anything earlier than that. it's only been a single year of me being out of school but my life has changed so dramatically, mostly for the better, and my whole personality has flipped on its head, it's just going to be so fucking weird going back to the same school, the same campus, potentially seeing my old friends around. augh
#sorry i was trying to find a post in my music tag in my archive and i scrolled so far back i got all the way to april 2023#where i referenced sitting in a dining hall#and its like. DINING HALL ?!?!?!#im going to be sitting in the fucking dining hall again in just like four months. UGH#brot posts#it's almost similar to the separation between high school and college. where i feel like hs me was completely different than college me#and now only a mere year later i feel like. post-undergrad me is completely different than undergrad me#although now that separation is exacerbated by how short a time it was and just HOW drastic a change it was#like . a bitch goes on antidepressants suddenly theyre a whole new person.#like im lowkey excited to see my old classmates and friends again#but i also am dreading it bc like hi. hey. i have the same name and face as the person you knew but i'm someone else now. sorry#and also just the persistent fear that i'm going to regress or at least even just /feel/ like im regressing#just by being back in that environment again?#even if i'll be on meds this time and actually going to therapy and overall having so much more support than i did in the past#so as nostalgic as i am to be on campus again it's also like. hard to separate the present from the past#like despite it all. this bathroom was still the very same place i went to have a mental breakdown weekly#this bench outdoors was the place i sat by myself to eat lunch in the blistering cold bc i couldnt eat indoors during covid 2020-2021#this bench indoors was where my friends had an intervention with me and forced me to call the on-campus mental health services#just . idk. feeling a strange mix of nostalgia and also being haunted by bad memories#oh the woes of going to grad school at the same place you got your undergrad. While mentally ill#but alas i need to save money by commuting and having instate tuition
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trying to keep working on this wip since i can't write right now...
#for some reason Tolkien's arms are giving me hell#ive drawn his arms like four separate times now and it always looks weird#also none of the hands look good and i hate them#all the anatomy looks so off to me and i'm trying to fix it but struggling#at least tweek looks cute#clyde's face is also giving me trouble#i'm probably going to change the angle of his head because this profile view looks like garbage#i also want to shift the whole thing slightly so jimmy is entirely in frame#i just really dont want to draw tweek and craig's feet tbh lol#as you can see i don't want to draw any feet#i hate drawing feet lol#anyways yell at meeeeeeee
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the number of possible song variations in stray gods is still so nuts to me. i feel like I need to draw diagrams
#evan speaks#stray gods#i mean the formula is easy in most cases its like 3 to the power of the number of choices right#minus scenarios where you can block yourself out of an option#ie when i was too mean to persephone and blocked myself from doing the charming option for a choice#in challenging the queen#and at least one song has a choice where there's straight up only two options instead of three#but also im nuts about like. choices that affect other choices#like. In phantom pains#as far as I can tell. the second choice only has three recordings for it? like it's not affected by your first choice#but the entire rest of the song IS affected by that first choice#so on like the third choice there's three separate recordings for each option. depending on your first choice#for a total of nine#(I'm assuming but I'm reasonably confident. I've only heard four though)#and I have no idea how much further it snowballs I haven't dug that deep into that song yet#also! i have NO idea what prompted Eros to sing in the ritual last time#could a dialogue choice outside of song have affected that? I dunno!#also also the trial. there's callbacks to other songs in that right. how far does that go#ive been thinking about just repeatedly replaying certain songs to hear more versions of them#but uh. might not work for the trial.#that's scary#some questions I don't really want answers to yet I still wanna explore for myself#just thinking out loud#tag ramblings
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Finally got an actual bookshelf and not a dresser/shelf combo to fit my books.
Sadly my art books and copies of Dinotopia are too long for it so I'll have to figure out where else I can fit a shelf.
This bookshelf is probably such a read on me...
(Sorry for the poor quality lol my phone is not great)
#i'm just rambling#There is an order.#It was supposed to start with the art books since they're huge but they poke out too much so...#Akira volumes -> graphic novels/comics -> manga dinosaur sanctuary leads into paleontolgy#Paleontolgy-> Jurassic Park and other fiction -> MXTX and similar books.#No I don't have all of Banana Fish. I'm missing four volumes.#The copies of Deathnote and Fruits Basket vol. 1 HAVE to sit next to each other#They have been together for 4-5 years. It is illegal to separate them.#I read all of TGCF before it got officially published in English so I've only got the first two volumes for now.#I blame my friend at the time for getting me a copy of check please cause it reignited my love for webcomics.#There's still a bunch of books I wanna buy so oghhh will have to find a bookshelf similar in color at least.#Ignore the TV on the ground. The place I wanna mount it is currently occupied by a dresser and my bird's cage.
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Yandere Therapy (Patreon)
#Doodles#Original#Yanderapy if you will#Lol#Yanderapy#Sup I made my own brainrot#They both turned out perfect on their first doodles (featured here) and got names super quick so like#Why fight it lol#So! Who I ended up with: The blonde megane is Ishida Ichiro and the roots-showing pierced is Maeda Mitsuru#Yes I'm going through my weeb arc again what of it lol#Hhhh it makes me feel like a kid again <3#Honestly I was surprised how quickly their names came to me - Mitsuru's was basically immediate I gave him two total passes and then yup#And like I mentioned - their designs? On the fly and gosh I am so happy with them haha especially Ishida#His face reveal was my first attempt and like!! How does that happen sometimes!! Look at him!#You can kinda see me settle into Mitsu's design a bit more slowly - his eyelashes solidified four or five doodles in and now I love them#I actually wrote down this concept - gosh looks like a year and a half ago?? At least the initial concept#I accidentally combined two yandere ideas I wrote down separately - by it looks like almost a year exactly lol it's the Yandere time of year#But I ended up with these two so I'm happy even if they didn't stay separate! :D#It does still make me want to take another crack at the individual ideas tho lol#Anyway ♪ Mostly just setup introduction character feeling-out for the initials :3#Mitsu recognized himself as having a somewhat unhealthy interest in his crush so decided to just go ahead and put himself in therapy haha#After getting to a point where he and his therapist thought he was in a good headspace for possible rejection he went to shoot his shot and-#Turns out his crush likes him back! And their boundaries align Surprisingly well ♪#Probably not a surprise but Ishida could tell that Mitsuru liked him lol he was just waiting for him to ask first - Mitsu had no idea tho#Oh yeah and I also use the first name-last name/last name-first name structure interchangeably soz lol#I'm trying to go more for last name-first name more! But don't be surprised if you see its inverse sometimes
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#excuse me i gotta go lie down and cry for a while#precure#pretty cure#delicious party precure#this episode had me crying AT LEAST four separate times#i am just a puddle of tears
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.why do I keep dreaming of things that I haven't watched/listened and then get possessed by an urge to watch or listen to it in the morning it's starting to get a little ridiculous
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few things i detest more than l/st podc/st on the l/ft. who even is the target audience and why are so many goths enamoured with these manchildren because...the complete lack of respect or even genuine fascinated appreciation with which they approach complex, controversial and sensitive cases (goes double for true crime episodes, but also applies with a lesser degree to paranormal stories and legends) is astonishing. just...a complete disregard for dignity, compassion, seriousness. cackling and chortling at their own mid dirty jokes every 2 minutes like a group of 13 year old fortnite players. these are grown men getting paid to host a supposedly 'funny' 'educational' show about mysterious and gruesome occurrences and everyone eats up this second rate cynical washed up comedian shit. the actual content itself is enough to pique interest, but the delivery is like. the pinnacle of irritating. insufferable
#maybe im quick to judge but I've tried to give it a chance at LEAST four separate episodes and it's the same impression every time#jamie.txt
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WHO'S - a contraction of WHO IS
WHOSE - possessive form of WHO
and
IT'S - a contraction of IT IS
ITS - possessive form of IT
CONTRACTIONS TRUMP POSSESSIVE FORM FOR APOSTROPHES
also!!
EMACIATED - visibly starving
EMANCIPATED - freed from someone's control
IT’S NOT ‘PEEKED’ MY INTEREST
OR ‘PEAKED’
BUT PIQUED
‘PIQUED MY INTEREST’
THIS HAS BEEN A CAPSLOCK PSA
#I don't know WHY those last two get mixed up but I've seen it at least four separate times so#ref#grammar#long post#english
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I really need to get a proper job so I’ll be too tired to have insane ideas like “what if I learned 5 romance languages all at once”
#it was a false alarm i was not fired. i do have projects again now#i also have a job interview but i don’t hold out a lot of hope for it because i didn’t do the assessments they wanted me to do#because they felt like psychological torture#anyway. yeah so i woke up and was browsing the duolingo subreddit and someone mentioned a challenge someone did where they tried learning#swedish; danish and norwegian all at once#which……. with all the love in the world that sounds pointless to do i’m sorry#i speak a tiny bit of swedish and i tried learning danish and i was like ‘this is just swedish but with worse pronunciation’#anyway. it made me think what if i tried learning spanish; french; italian; portuguese and romanian all at once#i’m already learning spanish and i’m getting pretty okay at it but i keep encountering the other romance languages#and i really want to learn them tbh. i did some french in school and i’ve always liked it and i love the sounds of italian and portuguese#and romanian seems really interesting because it’s so different from the other four languages since it has slavic influences#but i do think this would break my brain and also be impossible. can’t pretend otherwise#and i have been reading posts abt learning similar languages at the same time and everyone is like ‘it’s a bad idea don’t do it’ LOL#but also like.. there’s no law against it. i’m allowed to do this. i don’t work normal hours#my brain keeps being like ‘learn five extremely similar languages all at once. you will definitely not regret learning five extremely#similar languages all at once. learning five extremely similar languages all at once cannot possibly go badly for you’#maybe i could just pick up romanian since it’s the least similar and wait until i have a good grasp of both that and spanish#and then pick up french since that’s also not Too similar#or i could just learn the absolute basics in the other 4 (not spanish since i know the basics of spanish. hopefully) and pick my favourite#i think i can keep two languages separate from each other. i haven’t tried to answer a spanish question in esperanto in like.. a month#personal
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i get briefly startled every time someone i'm following posts about getting newly diagnosed with autism/hesitantly considering pursuing diagnosis bc
my nerd i thought you already knew
like it's so deeply obvious to me in the everything about your blog that it never occurred to me that you were still in the "oh im kinda finicky and weird but surely there's no formal word or community for my completely unique set of quirks, i must be the only person in history who thinks and acts like i do :<" stage
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I love you people who struggle with hygiene I love you people who struggle with showering or brushing teeth due to depression or stress or any other mental illness i love you
#brought to you by the ‘a combination of depression body dysmorphia and adhd makes it hard to shower gang#seriously years after an attempted sa I still have a hard time consistently showering#I’m ok with all the other stuff but I still hate being naked/gettting undressed even though my traumatic experience never went that far#I’m trying to get to at least four times a week but it’s hard#especially when laundry is also an obstacle#and periods. anyways#personal#I can wash parts of my body separately and I do that every day#but full showers plus hair? I have a hard time a keeping track since the last time I did it. and b getting it over with#so I usually only am able to shower twice a week
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