#at least at the end cause theres a really cool thing happening i promise

[mashyimaro]

Seunghwan x Hyunkyung (ROMEO) - Officially missing you COVER 

[diavolosthots]

As much as I enjoy reading romance docs of the boys with mc I was wondering how they would react to a teen mc... 🤔 like a more brotherly love and all... if that’s ok, I’m just a sucker for fluff and comfort fics!!!

Definitely not sexually 💀💀💀

THE BROTHERS reacting to Teenage!MC

Lucifer:

Theres hope for you! He sees this as a great opportunity to both discipline you and also beat someone other than mammon lol. Jk okay so heres the thing; most teens are brats. He has no tolerance for brats. You wont get away with your behavior and he will most likely turn into that strict father figure that has your curfew set for like sundown, precisely. However, hes also more lenient on you than Mammon so you got that going for you!

Mammon:

This can go one of two ways: either you'll become best friends or he has nothing to do with you and keeps up the "why do i have to take care of them" act. It depends entirely on what type of teen you are. Will act as an older brother and still tries to be your favorite, but he won't be... The cool older brother of that makes sense. Hes your favorite, sure, but he wont actually do anything to earn that. Chances are, you're more different than connected.

Leviathan:

Its so much easier to actually be social with someone who, most likely, hates socializing as much as he does, especially since as of now (2020) you're Gen Z and we all know that generation is a mess, and you quickly become friends. Also video games for days? Lucifer will end up scolding because Leviathan causes you to either slack heavily or fail all together. Not that Levi cares but... For your sake, let's stop after this round.

Satan:

Depends. Are you annoying? No? Good. Are you thirsty for knowledge like him? Okay so now we're talking. Just dont be the average american teen who thinks theyre cooler than everyone because he can promise you that theres no way youre cooler than him. Hes the coolest. The coolest cucumber in the cooler. But... He can show you a few tricks and he will definitely "borrow" you to get on Lucifer's nerves. He wont save you from the consequences.... But he'll use you.

Asmodeus:

Oh! Friends dont know age! You can still be his gossip buddy. Oh what was that? You hate gossip? Well let him just tell you this one thing that he totally didn't hear from Satan that just happened to cross his mind..... Anyway! He's the fun wine aunt by default and he will make sure you look your absolute best, always. Even in sweats and a tang top. Also gives you top 10/10 dating advice but also doesnt encourage uh... More intimate things. Keep it cute for y'all kiddos!

Beelzebub:

He uhm... He doesnt really know how to act? Are you just another younger sibling? Yeah you know lets go with that. He wont always be there and your relationship might not be as close but you can still count on him and lunch outings are a must at least once a month. If you're a troublemaker, hes more likely to stick out and not get involved. Let Lucifer handle that. But if you're chill and easy going, you'll have a chill and easy going relationship.

Belphegor:

Oh boy. Listen he doesnt care if you're a teen, tween, or from a porn magazine, he'll avoid you and miss like half your life in the Devildom. You cant count on him unless you want to join the Lucifer hate club haha in which case you, him, and Satan will become the ultimate trio. But even outside of that... Chances are he won't really connect with you until youre a little older. Hes just not really a kid demon, and teens are still kids.

[jaekaicx]

so ive had this idea for an amphibia fangame for a lil while now-

(LONG post)

its based around the idea that sometime after anne got sent back to earth, she decides to sneak out one night to visit sasha and marcys bedrooms and poke through their stuff. this causes a bunch of memories to come back to anne through flashbacks while she tries to process everything thats happened and her feelings abt their friendship.

i was thinking itd be mostly a visual novel type thing. maybe with a few small choices, but the story would be mostly linear. thered be around 3 main story beats: a prologue bit w/ anne sneaking out of her house, marcys bedroom, and sashas bedroom. also one of the main mechanics would be looking at one of their bedrooms and clicking on random objects of importance and triggering a flashback sequence.

it came from the idea that anne will probably try to just shove all her emotions down and try to ignore her feelings abt true colors and everything that went down then. especially with what we saw in the sneak peek, anne will probably try to hide her emotions and bottle them up, which is obviously not healthy. so eventually shes gonna have to work through her emptional baggage and try to process everything.

i havent thought through EVERYTHING just yet, just some more major plot points and maybe one or two ideas for flashbacks. nothing too solid yet. but heres a bit more detailed runthrough of the plot

summary - prologue

so it would start off with anne at home. she and her mom are talking outside annes room. her moms concerned abt how annes been handling everything that happened in amphibia but anne keeps brushing everything off. her mom tries to get her to open up, but she keeps dismissing her and eventually shuts herself in her room. after taking a bit to cool off and think anne decides that shes gonna take the night to just ride off her emotions and stop repressing them for once. she also makes an impulsive decision to sneak out and check out marcy and sashas rooms.

anne goes to gather her stuff in her room, and just as shes about to climb out the window, sprig walks in to check on her. hes still rly concerned abt his big sis but he knows he cant stop her. he tries to go with anne, but she tells him she needs to do this on her own. so, sprig lets her go and tries to cover for her while shes gone.

so at this point i’ll probably give the player the choice of whose house to visit first. it doesnt rly impact the story or whatever, but i guess it might have a small emotional impact depending on whose house u choose to go to first??

(quick note: after this bit, there arent too many specific details for the plot and stuff like that. its largely just an overall idea of how the plot is gonna go. and even then, there isnt much to it. i didnt think that far ahead yet, which is why there isnt as much refinement yet. so far i just have general ideas for how annes gonna get to the bedrooms, with a couple of vague flashback ideas. just keep that in mind; this whole thing is still being thought over and planned as im typing this out)

summary - sasha

with sasha, annes still rly conflicted abt how she feels abt her. of course shes still rly hurt by being backstabbed by her twice and swordfighting her as many times. but as much as she hates sasha she cant bring herself to fully give up on sash. she hates her guts but deep down shes still willing to give sash another chance.

there may or may not be a small sequence where anne has to sneak into sashas house, but eventually she works her way into sashas room. im not entirely sure abt the details of sashas house n her family yet. im probably gonna wait for info from s3 until i solidify anything, but for now i do know that sashas family has a big house n theyre probably rich.

so anne goes into sashas room and its been left pretty much untouched ever since annes birthday, save for the few times someone came in to dust things off. again, dont rly have all the details for sashas room, but it kind of has a vibe of controlled chaos, with organized clutter and a bit of a touch of a rebellious teen girl. one detail i do want to have is a calendar opened up to the month the trio disappeared, with annes birthday circled and highlighted so much that its impossible to miss.

the calendar itself might include a flashback. im thinking of also having a varsity jacket and some old stuffed animal be different “artifacts” that trigger their own memories. there’ll be a bunch more, but those are the only ideas i have so far fjsbndnd

summary - marcy

ok so i want to be rly mean about marcys segment: this is going off the theory that marcys parents moved away while the trio was in amphibia.

anne doesnt know this yet tho, so shes in for quite a surprise when she turns onto marcys street to find a realtor sign on the front lawn. the clues are all there: an empty driveway, sign on the lawn, an overall empty vibe coming from the house. but it doesnt completely register at first. its not til anne actually comes up close does she notice the sign.

anne tries to deny it, and decides to prove to herself that “no marcys parents wouldnt do this. theyre not that cruel. im just gonna check marcys room myself.” the front doors locked, so she just goes over to marcys window and climbs in.

but its completely empty.

ok not totally empty, but a lot of marcys furniture and stuff is gone, except for a few stray toys and other “junk.” the home guys (idk what theyre called????) are still kind of in the process of cleaning everything out, so theres still some stuff left here and there around the house. but its still way too empty. and its yet another gut punch for anne.

anne searches the rest of the house a bit more, hoping that shes just hallucinating. but no, marcys parents are really gone. she tried to deny it before, but now she has more of an idea of how shitty the wu parents are. so anne decides to just mope around in marcys old room, checking out the stuff their parents left behind.

maybe she finds an old blanket marcy liked when he was rly young. or an old rubiks cube from marcys vast collection. a cnc figurine, some cards, a pride flag, and old diary? a couple of other old toys, an old report card or two, or maybe even some stray clothes. whatever anne finds, its all thats left of marcy, at least in LA.

it really doesnt leave anne in that much of a better emotional position. she already felt conflicted enough about what happened in true colors and what she found out abt marcy. but seeing even a small glimpse of what marcy was dealing with, it just makes her more confused. marcy was such a sweet kid! theres no way they couldve done anything wrong. yet here anne was, betrayed by both of her childhood friends.

only now is anne really taking the time to process the fact that marcy essentially kidnapped her and sasha with the calamity box. he didnt mean to do it, and theres no way they couldve known the box would actually work, but it doesnt completely excuse marcy. his actions still hurt anne and sash, and while they meant the best of intentions, it didnt rly come through that way.

and now marcy was dead. stabbed in the back by the newt king.

and now annes curled up in an empty bedroom, wrapped up in one of marcys old blankets, trying to wrap her head around her feelings about marcy while reminiscing in the past.

summary - extras/epilogue??

i kind of like the idea that anne ends up drifting off in which ever bedroom ended up being the second one she visited. she slowly comes back to consciousness, with her surroundings feeling somewhat familiar, only to wake up in horror bc “OH SHIT I FORGOT TO GO BACK HOME” im not completely sold on the idea tho bc it feels a bit abrupt and like too much of a tone shift?? idk it doesnt feel exactly right

but anyways, im also playing around with the idea of a small epilogue scene with the calamity trio hanging out in annes room, a good amount of time after amphibia ended. dont know what theyre doing in there, but theyre just chilling and feeling a bit nostalgic i guess.

but uh yeah thats pretty much what ive got for the overall idea. it doesnt feel too out of reach, but somethjng like this would definitely be ambitious. i could mayyyybe handle writing out the vn and drawing the character sprites, but i have no idea how to code a vn or draw detailed backgrounds, both of which would be pretty important to this fangame fjsndj. so i might consider having help with this.

THIS ISNT ANY SORT OF PROMISE OR WHATEVER. id rly love to follow through and make this fangame a thing, but im not making any guarantees. i have no idea if i’ll actually follow through, but i would definitely love to.

who knows. maybe in like a couple years this might actually become a thing. but for now i have no idea

[puppycharmz]

ANY CHANCE WE CAN HEAR MORE ABT THE FNAF AU.... IT LOOKS SO COOL 👉👈

YES OF COURSE ABSOLUTELY LET ME RAMBLE ABOUT THE SHIT WE CAM E UP WITH

so the au is roughly following the plot of the og games (going w the order they came out. were choosing to ignore how complicated the timeline got, and we’re atm excluding game 4 +onwards)

(if you know how the games go, the story will get dark. things will be tagged, but the main story will also get put under the cut for extra coverage)

so story goes, gman runs fazbears (we havent changed the name yet) but hes ambitious and wants to try to make a new sort of animatronic. luring one of the kids (who happens to be joshua unfortunately) into the backroom, he kills them, taking their soul as a part of an experiment. he is unsatisfied with the result, having placed the soul into a hand puppet bear. he wants more. so he uses the promise of joshua to lure in gordon next, who he then kills as his next victim. in a sort of cruel joke he essentially attaches them to each other, so they wont be seperated again (dw joshua can detach himself from gordons hand at any time, he just needs to go back as his battery doesn’t last as long as the others when off of the hand dock.) 

the next two victims come by chance, although gman wont let the opportunity slip up. coomer comes hearing of two missing people he knew, gordon and joshua, and decides to investigate on his own.  this ends up being a mistake however, as gman overpowers him and knocks him out. hes the next to go. the last one to die by gman’s hand is bubby, who comes looking for coomer. so all these deaths essentially occured as a chain reaction from one another.

(this is where tommy comes in but also where he doesnt exist for a good while) so tommy walks in on gman stuffing bubby into one of the suits, and hes horrified. his dad is doing shit like this? thats fucked up. however, gman sticks by his ‘no witnesses’ rule and kills tommy, not even bothering to stuff him into a suit. he just tosses him out back into the garbage bin (tommy goes on to become the puppet. how? we duno yet so this is all weve got for now)

months go by and the cases for the missing people go cold. there are no leads, no witnesses, and the security footage doesnt show much (courtesy of gman). animatronics are built “in memory of” the people that were killed, but really its just an excuse gman has to point suspicion away from him.

now, darnold currently works the dayshift/acts as phone guy. HOWEVER. he did work night shift before! he asked if forzen (another employee at the time) could cover one of his shifts near the end of the week, but unfortunately for forzen the animatronics were AGGRESIVE. they stuffed him into one of the spare suits in the back (made by gman before the murders) and bam forzen’s tethered to Oxer the ox! darnold felt bad so he hangs out with forzen in the back closet during his day shift and keeps other maintenance workers away, as to avoid them finding forzens um...entrails, instead of wires.

benrey is the new hire for the nightguard position, doing it for the extra money. his first night goes well enough, following instructions from darnold over the phone. the animatronics moving about is unnerving, but not enough to deter him from the job quite yet. second night, animatronics get a bit more aggresive. his strategy, instead of just closing the doors, involves annoyng the animatronics enough to where they’ll get bored and leave him alone for a bit. saves him quite a bit of power! nights proceed like this for a while, animatronics getting more and more aggresive. until the final night, where an unlucky cut in power towards the end of his shift causes an accident. forzen, just wanting the night to end, decides to end things then and there. he takes out a chunk of benrey’s head, resulting in a trip to the ER and the shutting down of the original location.

if asked, i may go into game 2!! theres not too much lore there yet, but i could at least explain why benreys back and how the toy animatronics would work in this context!! this post is already long enough gdhjfkd

[duelofthefatesmp3]

i DO actually wanna know how youd make kotor 3 !!!!!

this ask has been sitting on my inbox for so long on PURPOSE! i wanted some time to re read the revan book + watch some swtor gameplays so i could give a concrete answer about why the book and swtor arent satisfactory and what i would do instead (im not like. a storytelling god so i this is just my PERSONAL idea). under the cut!

to begin with, what's wrong with revan the book and swtor, mai?

i am very fond of swtor i think it was such a nice idea to have an "open" world game set in star wars old republic time. but ultimately, it was not a good conclusion to revan and meetra's storyline! now, i don't really know what happened in the development of the third kotor game (if there ever was a plan for one) but it's clear they dropped the ball on that and decided to start a whole different project. i don't think we can blame disney for that one, because it was announced on 2008, launched in 2011, and disney had just bought star wars that year. so who knows.

the thing is that it's painfully evident that a bunch of the story that was gonna be in the third game, ended up in the book + misc parts of swtor. much of the book feels like a gameplay.

now, it was clear when the book was planned that they wanted to keep revan's story open so when the game came out, they could have a cool Revan storyline so he could make a cool villain appearence and draw in some of that kotor nostalgia. which ehhhhhh. uh. i don't really think did any favors for revan's character. he didn't have a satisfactory arc (I'm not saying "a happy ending" because good arcs aren't always happy) but at least some closure?

revan went through many big events in his life. we didnt need to keep his ass in stasis for his fun villain moments 300 years later. we already had what we wanted from him: jedi turned sith turned jedi again to defeat a terrible threat. that was it we could have let it there and it would have been cool! but then they decided to drag and drag his story just to leave him right where he was before. he just suffered a little more in the in-between.

you could say he finally redeemed himself of all of his crimes this way, but wasn't that the whole purpose of the first kotor game (and would have been the purpose of the 3rd?)

swtor does not centre revan in his own narrative. he's a side character for the player to experience. and look, i get it, we've had a different protag on each game, why not have another one in this one. well, because the protagonist has no personal relationship with revan. meetra was one of his closest friends, and fought with him. there is a connection that can be exploited. but the swtor protagonist is just some guy 300 years in the future who happens to stumble into revan and his life. not even his descendants get to fully interact with revan.

also, there is the fact that revan is not the centre of the game itself, only of a particular storyline. and it's weird, because swtor could have happened without revan's involvement.

ms. meetra surik, ms. bastila shan, women of the world I'm sorry

so it's no news that star wars is misogynistic as fuck right. cause it is.

so you decide to make your gender neutral protagonist a guy. then you decide to make your other gender neutral protagonist a woman. cool. now let's guess who gets underdeveloped, turned into a plot device without reason, and promptly fridged in the most unceremoniously fashion just to fullfil some manpain moments. which one do you think got that treatment.

i know the revan book is supposed to be about revan, but why make meetra go through a whole arc just to undermine her character and turn her into the faithful servant of the guy? she leaves everything behind for him, sacrifices herself for him, hell not even dead is she not serving the guy. and she was the second game’s protagonist! she beat up a bunch of powerful people and now she’s just meh, there? she had so many interesting ways to interact with revan (meeting kreia, revan’s first master, encountering another force consuming entity, etc.)

meetra went through a whole arc about dealing with the guilt of doing something horrible and having the consequences of it cut her from the force. we see her broken, then slowly come back to the world and reconnect herself with the force, then stop running and face the consequences of her role in the war. thats such a cool character with tons of potential! and nothing happened!

then we got bastila who is. a whole deal. so you make her go through a “promising jedi who defeated revan, to questioning reluctant companion, to fell into the dark side, to was redeemed thanks to her bond to revan, who helped her come back because he’d been through the same experience” arc, and then you decide to push her to the side to have a baby?? which is... its clear that the writer didnt know what to do with her (or with the other characters outside of canderous) so hey, lets get her to marry revan and have a baby.

my ideal kotor 3

to preface, im not a game developer, so some of my choices could be stunted by what a kotor rpg can do lol. of course, it would follow the same mechanics and have the same format as the first two, because consistency!

the fun way to start the game, would be from scourge’s perspective. we get to play as a sith! i’d even say you get to change scourge’s name and gender and looks (i know sith have different looks)

in scourge’s storyline, we get from his arrival to normound kaas, to his talks with nissyris, to his missions working for her. in some of these, we can make scourge lean into the dark or the light side! fun! plus we get some exposition with dialogue options. it all continues untill we get to nissirys story about the emperor. we get a fucked up cutscene of his childhood and then BOOM when its over, we see revan waking up from a nightmare and their pov starts.

ok, as for revan’s story, since we’d have to pick it up from where kotor ended, i’d have a little cutscene of revan back into the ebon hawk, with bastila, and them telling the crew to take them to courascant. then cut to a council meeting where revan and bastila get scolded in private, then rewarded by the republic. i would also like to see some revan mournink malak’s death mayhaps. since he was their childhood friend and all.

i would 100% scrape the marriage and two years passed part. as the book said, the council had no use for revan aside from the legend(tm), so why would they stay in courascant. revan was very alienated from the jedi at that point, despite being back in the “light side”

then like, to revan asking around for meetra and other jedi from the mandalorian wars, we can cash in that atris cameo, then revan starts to have these visions about the sith emperor, and maybe we could get a playable dream sequence about revan’s fight with mandalore the ultimate (I KNOW I WOULD LIKE TO SEE IT.) and we get the whole exposition to mandalore telling revan that the sith are behind it all. i believe we should get a bunch of these flashback/dream sequences of revan’s past doing shit. cut to revan burying the mask in a planet, then back to the present. we see a bunch of mission and juhani scenes trying to reach him, but he keeps pushing them away. revan and bastila meet canderous, travel to the ice planet, meet clan ordo (god i love clan ordo) you get the whole quest, you decide weather to spare veela or not, maybe you get a cheeky mandalorian companion (force sensitive mando oh?) and leave canderous behind.

we can visit like, a couple more planets searching for clues maybe, etc. then when reaching nathema, you are forced to go alone as revan, get to explore nathema a bit (raiding ancient location yay) nathema as a location can be so fun because you can have it weaken you hp bar and also you cant use the force (which, in game is pretty cool)

then we get to scourge and nyssiris arriving to the planet, they fight but since theres two of them and revan doesn’t have the force, they beat the shit out of them, and while running away, they get in a fight with bastila and the companions in the ebon hawk (ebon hawk shooting game my hated). bastila manages to get a glimpse of revan’s thoughts before they take them away. but the ebon is so ruined it takes bastila, t3 and the mandalorian a while to fix it, and they get stuck into the unknown regions for a while. the ebon hawk is left in an outer rim planet with t3 fixing it, bastila and the mandalorian run back to the jedi council, only to get caught in the middle of the jedi civil war. we can have bastila choosing to hide in courascant and trying to make sense of what she saw, reading texts about the sith empire, trying to plot a course to where they took revan (more atris! but shes pissed at her now)

cutscene to meetra’s pov, leaving malachor v behind, getting calls from everyone at the hawk (atton my beloved) but just as she’s leaving she gets a force message from revan, calling for her to find him and sending visions of normound kaas. then, through her force bond with visas, she tells her not to go because they’re gay and in love and whatnot.

then boom, she gets intercepted by bastila’s ship, with the mandalore and the other mandalorian (yes i do love having a bunch of mandos on board) and they go on their way to find revan.

now i want there to be an underlying message of “we can’t take our friends with us because we have to do this ALONE we’re powerful JEDI we don’t need our FRIENDS.” meetra gets asked if she wants to bring any friends and she’s like “no. we have to do this alone.” along the game you get constantly contacted by other game characters, you get the chance to talk to them or ignore them.

so, we get back to nathema, and meetra has a whole “holy shit this is just like darth nihilus but ten times worse. but i beat darth nihilus. i can do this!” then she finds peace in this place without the force, we get a whole speech about how the odds arent against them, they find a way to normound kaas, and get going.

in normound kaas i thought about them getting a whole mission about how to infiltrate the citadel, only to get helped by scourge. he joins the party, we get a little flashback of all the years he spent trying to make revan remember and they storm the citadel. we get to fight the dark council members, fun! then we get to free revan and the game switches povs. bastila hands the mask to revan and he has a cool “yes im revan im pretty cool” then a nice heartfelt yet rushed reunion with everyone.

then have a small CONVERSATION WITH MEETRA where she talks about the sith triumvirate she defeated and revan is impressed with her and is like “we are the last hope of the jedi, we’ve learned to walk between light and dark, we’ve done horrors but we can still make things right, our experience has made us more powerful etc.

then they fight the imperial guard, ALL OF THEM, meetra revan and scourge make it into the throne room, they all fight the emperor. meetra shows the emperor that she has seen the void, she has cut herself from the force, and she’s not afraid of him, revan supports her, talks about redemption and hope  and NOW.

NOW. how the alternate endings could go:

if you decide to take scourge through the light side, he manages to form a forcebond with meetra and revan since they’ve both teached something about the duality of the force, they get 100% stronger, but its still not enough. UNTIL. a bunch of ships (jedi and mandalorian, even non republic ships) arrive to dormound kaas, the gangs from each game storm the room and together they make the emperor and his guard a bunch of punching bags. they beat him! (unknow to them, this was a backup body because the emperor can do weird shit like that, and has only debilitated his plan, but he’ll come back dont worry). then they fly back to the republic, to tell the chancellor about the sith threat, and preparations for the war begin. meetra and revan get to live happily ever after for a while, then they die away from the jedi or the sith (waaah im thinking about them helping canderous rebuild the mandalorians, and them doing it since they killed so many mandos in the war)

BECAUSE IN THE END KOTOR IS ABOUT LEARNING TO PROCESS TRAUMA AND RECOGNIZE YOUR MISTAKES AND LIVE WITH THE GUILT WHILST TRYING TO FIX THE MISTAKES YOU MADE ALONG THE WAY. AND ALSO TO HEAL FROM TRAUMA YOU NEED A SUPPORT SYSTEM SO EVEN THOUGH IT MAKES SENSE TO YOU YOU SHOULDNT PUSH PEOPLE WHO LOVE YOU AWAY. AND THINGS AREN’T BLACK AND WHITE ITS COMPLICATED SO YOU DONT END UP BACK ON SQUARE ONE YOURE A CHANGED PERSON.

or

if you decide to dark side scourge further, he betrays revan and meetra, they all die, and the emperor unleashes his angry lightning or whatever on everyone + a bunch of visions of all the enemies of past mocking them, and their loved ones suffering. and since you’ve had that “im not calling my friends bullshit” no one comes, you die there, and the emperor is only stalled for a few years. swtor ensues. scourge becomes the emperor’s hand.

now you could of course bring revan and meetra up in swtor, but maybe only as force ghost guides, or have some of the other characters of the game have relevance (visas tries to heal the miraluka planet 2021)

WELL THAT WAS A LOT OF WORDS. HOPE THIS IS SATISFYING ENOUGH

[axemetaphor]

im definitely not ripping off my friend by making a list of au ideas i have no siree //gonna slap this under a readmore cause i. well i say a lot. all of the time. i tried so hard to format this Good but tumblr fucked me up i am so sorry

so first-off i know i already have one WIP AU (Auckland) on ao3 so i wont talk about That one cause like. spoilers. i actualyl have it like 80% created so its likely gonna truly get finished for once and i dont wanna ruin shit

the other one ive posted about is something me and ben (catgirlrepublic) have worked on together its not at all close to done or anything but it's. a fun little crossover. Between jdate and my fuckinuhm. Original characters story “Untitled Villains Project”. the sketches of the comic version ive started is actually my pinned post 👉👈 its like the first chunk of the story, i think half of part 1? yea.

Tldr john fucking Somehow is able t oget into contact with a certain curious scientist from another reality who’d just love to study the Soy Sauce, most certainly not for her own nefarious purposes

John and Dave meet up with the scientist, her name is Boss, and her lab assistant, Toxic, and after a bit of a preliminary Vibe Check where john determines her trustworthy (which Dave doesnt agree with,) the two agree to be taken to the world UVP is set in. from there they stay in Boss’s lab (big old fucking abandoned military lab). John and Toxic are fast friends due to mutual love-of-chaos. John n Dave get to fuckin, camp out on an air mattress.

The day after they arrive, the two get split up, not exactly intentionally; big plot points of UVP are liek. Fueled by Boss sending Toxic to go fetch her “research materials,” which are usually important artifacts

Fuckin side note i guess i have to explain my dumb bullshit: Boss’s, uh, field of expertise so to speak is actually fckin, basically the scientific study of magic and superpowers n shit like that. This shit’s all real in that world. Toxic’s got fuckin superpowers, so do 4 other main characters, whatever. It’s got a bit to do with spirituality, iss Boss’s hypothesis. So she has Toxic fetch important artifacts that might have “energies” to them. The thing is actually way more fuckin complictated than that, this is just Boss’s initial hypothesis.

Motherfucking anyways. So Boss gives Toxic a job to do, and John get excited about how Cool that sounds, and ends up going with Toxic, leaving Boss and Dave alone. Neither is thrilled about this. But Dave and Boss get to have a bit of conversation (while Toxic and John are off bonding and having a good time) and come to a… mutual grudging understanding of some kind. They still dont like each other though lmao

Theres gonna be deeper shit going on but we havent sorted it out yet/tbh havent like Written For It in a while but i still like thinking about it a lot lol

Also pretty sure our endgame is john and dave steal toxic and bring them back with em lmao boss is kind of not nice and toxic would most certainly be better off in Undisclosed. Actually theyd fucking love it. Theyd become a local cryptid im sure. Undisclosed’s mothman is a teleporting spike baby.

I have. Another crossover AU that i might. Post something about for halloween? Maybe? If i have it finished?

Crosses over into, you guessed it, another one of my original-character projects. God, am i vain or something?

I promise this is just because i think blue and dave should get to team up to beat up some monsters

Quick briefing on my fuckinuh. Original character story, this one doesnt have a name (yet? Idk lol my work never actually goes anywhere sso who gives a shit). It centers around two grim reapers, Red (26, bi woman) and Blue (22, aroace agender asshole). In this reality or whatever, grim reapers function kind of like low-level office workers. They get told who’s going to die + when by some middle-management types, and upper management only involve themselves when punishment needs to be doled out. These Higher-Ups can be seen as analogous to Korrok; they’re decidedly not human, never were, and fucking terrifyingly powerful. Additionally, grim reapers are sort of .. designed to be “background noise” people. In reality theyre supernatural beings and, uh, look Real Fuckin Weird (the whole deal has a neon aesthetic im terrible at drawing uwu) but most humans just perceive them like extras in a movie. A body’s there but the camera’s not focused on it.

To the narrative: the shit starts when Red n Blue get relocated to Undisclosed. Relocation is something that just happens every now and then to reapers; they usually work in teams, but they get split up into different cities to avoid any strong bonds forming (a counter-union strategy from the Higher-Ups).

Red, Blue, John and Dave end up running into each other for the first time in a McDonalds where John n Dave are getting some 4am “hey, we just survived another horrific monster fight” celebration burgers. John and Dave are the only two people who can see how… strange Red and Blue are. Nobody else notices.

John unintentionally pisses Blue off, leading to Blue whacking him upside the head with a dildo bat. They all four get kicked out of McDonald’s. Dave and Red both are less than thrilled

Blue and John end up resolving their differences, somehow. Red and Dave briefly bond over their dumbass best friends being, well, dumbasses. They all part ways amicably.

somehow-or-other (idk yet) they end up running into each other a few more times, and eventually john invites them over to his place, and the four (plus Amy now!) get to know each other a little better

while there, Blue gets a text about some guy who's gonna die and John offers to drive them to where that's gonna go down. they take him up on the offer and get to have a bit of one-on-one conversation

after that ordeal though Blue has had Enough of people and bails, leaving John to head home alone

theres a sort of mirror-development going on with the five of em. Red, John, and Amy would all like everyone to get along, though theyre a bit tentative about it (John moreso than the other two, actually, jsut cause. well Red n Blue could still be Sauce Monsters). Dave and Blue on the other hand do Not like people enough for this shit, and Dave's not unconvinced theyre Sauce Monsters. he will not trust them until proven he should

the story's kinda nebulous but i got an idea for some Shit going down that involves both Sauce Monsters and also the Higher-Ups to have some fuckin absolute chaos go down.

Oops! All Trans

Everybody is transgender. Everyone

Ive actually workshopped this one both with ben (catgirlrepublic) and ghost (ghost-wannabe) lmao its a fun lil concept ive had from the get-go cause i mean. What’s an internet tran gonna do other than hit all their favourite media with the Everyone’s Trans beam

Dave transitioned post-high school and faked his death for it. People go missing in Undisclosed all the damned time, after all. He moved to the next city over, transitioned fully, then came back as a completely new man. Yes i know this doesnt exactly fit with the “everyone knows David from high school” thing alright, hush.

Anytime anyone brings up John’s old best friend (pre-transition Dave) John throws an entire fit like an overdramatic grieving widow. Full-on sobbing “why would you bring her up?! I miss her so much—” to the point that people just stop bringing up because Jesus Christ That Sure Is Uncomfortable KJHGFDS.

This is a scheme he and Dave came up with prior to Dave leaving, though Dave hadnt exactly anticipated John putting on this much of a performance about it— but it’s stopped Dave from ever having tto hear his deadname again, so hey.

Amy transitioned sometime in middle school/early high school. Her family was super supportive and loved her a ton and most people just know her as Amy. she was super shy her whole life really so. Yeah. people just dont think to bring it up lmao also i Feel Like big jim would absolutely wallop anyone who gave her trouble of any kind

John’s nonbinary (genderfluid specifically) and not exactly Interested in transitioning ? like hes fine with how he is. mostly.

he came out to Dave in high school but hes not out to anyone else exactly. Maybe his bandmates. Probably any other trans person in Undisclosed knows, too, cause theyre safe to tell lmao. Johns mostly a “he/him out of convenience” kinda nb who’s cool with any pronouns but does prefer they/them most. Dave and Amy use they/them when the trio are alone

Also this is a totally self-indulgent caveat that i think would be great, Dave’s actually agender but because he's transmasc and transitioned when he thought there were really only two options, and being Boy at least felt less weird than being Girl, he just kind of assumed he was a dude. It’s only through a lot of (like fucking years and years hes probably in his 30s/40s when he puts 2 and 2 together on this one) talks about gender with John that he realizes he actually feels like No Gender. Masc aesthetic with none gender.

I Just Think It’d Be Neat Is All Okay

Also Amy came out to Dave about being trans early on in them seeing each other and his response was to get very nervous before blurting out “me too” and then just being too embarrassed to talk about it for the rest of the day. Hes got a lot of hangups on talking about it actually it takes years for him to get comfortable in that

by contrast when Amy comes out to John about it his response is to yell “EYYY ME TOO” and give her a big ol hug lmao

I think itd be neatt if Amy ran a like. Transfem help/advice blog on tumblr. Kind of helped-with by John who can give her transfem nb insight for certain asks. I also just think that would be neat.

Cowboy AU - i put this one last cause its got drawings to it actually. Theyll be at the bottom

Basically just. Hey you ever watched a western. I think they look neat

This is another one me n ben have come up with lol

The soy sauce and all that shit still exist, im not sure where korrok fits in yet but ill figure it out

Theres no real like solid narrative yet ? but heres the barebones of everybody’s arcs.

John

Johns an absolute troublemaker, Of Course. Hes wanted in several towns for absolutely stupid shit. Hes a loner who shows up, causes chaos, gets drunk, does some drugs, runs away if people get too mad at him

He definitely had the same kind of deal with the soy sauce as in canon— he was at some kind of party, somebody offered it, he took it cause why the fuck wouldnt he, now he can see monsters and shit

Hes kind of a mooch also. Like. dont let him stay in your barn man he’ll never fucking leave and drink all your booze.

He runs into Dave when they happen to just, cross paths in the same town. the bullshit John stirs up ends up involving Dave in a way that makes it seem like it's his fault too, and they both get run out of town

after that he just tags along after Dave. hes decided this guy's Cool he wants to stick around. Dave is pissed at first, but not enough to shoot him or anything, and eventually, John grows on him

Dave

Dave also is a loner but unlike John hes simply so fucking awkward and bad with people. He doesnt feel like he belongs anywhere so he just travels

He’s the stereotypical Lone Ranger tbh. He wanders from town to town, solving their problems, though hed deny its out of any moral obligation (it kinda is, a little bit, tbh. He does like feeling useful). He shows up, fixes things, leaves. He's kind of a legend but most people think he's hiding something dark. other people jsut know him as that guy who farted real loud in the middle of the saloon and promptly skipped town out of sheer embarrassment. you know how it goes with Dave

He ends up involved with the Soy Sauce when a snake (not Actually a snake,) bites him. The snake’s more like the wig-monsters, really. Anyway, it injects him with the soy sauce, he fucking trips balls in the middle of the desert, he can see monsters now

He runs into John and shit goes tits-up, as said, but they become traveling buddies after that. he'd never say so, but he's glad for the company, actually. it's nice. hes not used to companionship but he feels a strange kind of easiness hanging out with John....

not sure how the Monster Dave concept will like fit in to this reality but like. trust me i want it in here. I'll Figure It Out.

Amy

Amy’s been living in a town John and Dave end up passing through and she is very curious about these two new Handsome Strangers who claim to fight monsters and just kinda. Persistently tags along til they let her join for real

Her family’s all dead, unfortunately, just like in canon, and she’s been living alone for a few years before meeting John n Dave. she had nothing left in that town to stay for, she'd been fantasizing about escaping on wild adventures for a long time and this felt a little like a dream come true. (Dave still gives her a spiel about how Difficult it is, but really, her fantasies were pretty grounded-in-reality already. i jsut think thats how she is, yknow?)

Shes the first person to react to the whole “we see monsters” shit with a kind of “oh, okay. neat” kind of response lmao

John and Dave fix whatever the fuck is up with her town (maybe that’s where the Korrok shit can fit, who knows) and Amy ends up being integral to that. After, she insists they take her with them because “they need her now” and Dave just cant really say no. John too is very much "the more the merrier!" and hes actually glad to have another person along he loves people lmao

At the start she has long hair but after she joins them she chops it short with a knife for convenience

also she still is an amputee. justt. idk. it was a wagon/stagecoach accident rather than a car accident lmao. just to clarify since i hadnt mentioned it, i wouldnt rob her of her ghost hand or yknow. all of the significance to her character that Missing A Hand has. although also now im going to have to research what was used as painkillers way-back-when, but im betting shes still got, like, her pain pills, they probably had those, maybe i wouldnt have to try too hard there. old timey medicine could be WACK though,

Shitload

Yeah hes in tthis shit mostly cause i liked designing his cowboy self lmao

Hes a kid (like 16, 17, technically i think in those days that was more Young Man than Kid but whatever. Hes Young i mean.) who got possessed by the Worms out in the desert and, by his family’s perception, just went missing!

Hes also a wanderer, but he ended up at the same town john and dave met in, at that same time, and starts following them after, already aware of who/what they are.

He keeps his face covered 24/7. actually he covers a Majority of his self for reasons. kinda want him to be a slightly more horrifying Worm Entity rather than human idk,

I kinda dont have much for this boy yet sorry Shitload

images !

with some editing notes for me cause im doing a very specific aesthetic with this lmao. i might change some lil details/colours though ...... idk

im also kinda 🤔 about shitload's colour palette. i want things assoicated w the sauce to be black'n'red predominantly but i think his palette might mirror dave's too closely. also im working on a korrok design i jsut am too busy to draw it now

[danceing-spelled-wrong]

Made a Grumpus OC

They're just one of few of them..not sure if I'll draw any of them, I drew them because..I'm bored

I have a grumpsona in mind..but I'm not finish with it's design

I guess I'll explain them

Amly Ductforce(I'm bad at names) came to Snaktooth island because they were bored and needed a vacation from their "job"

He's gender-fluid and doesn't mind people getting his pronouns wrong when he doesn't feel that gender, but some just call him a "They" and that's fine by him

One thing that she's really good at, is lying and stealing. When she came to Snaktooth Island, she started her hobby right away and stole some things from Wambus which got him pretty upset

He gives everyone nicknames despite not liking anyone besides Cromdo

She likes order yet enjoys chaos, sometimes, she would plant random objects that belong to the residents in each other's huts to start up something

When the town split, he went to the Boiling Bay due to the nice warm yet cold feel to it and because she wanted to steal stuff from Floofty

They're probably in their late 40s early 50s

Her and Cromdo get along for the most part as long as she doesn't steal anything from him

In their hut, they have a lot of stolen objects, most from Wambus

Their hut is beside Liz and Egg's hut but is to the right of the beach

If he was in the game, then you'd meet them the same time you meet Floofty

She doesn't like Lizbert because she always calls her out on the stuff she steals, same for Beffica

Due to his hatred to Lizbert, he shares the same hatred towards Eggabell but doesn't go out his way to steal from her, seeing her as too fragile

He's scared of Chandlo(because he would snap her like a twig), Shelda(because she acts like a cult leader), and Gramble(because he's too nice)

If they get caught stealing, they lie about it and theres a 90% chance it'll work due to their confident sounding voice and being a bit manipulative

Dialogue in game:

What everyone thinks of them

Filbo:

"Oh..them? They're..ok, as long as they don't cause any trouble.."

Wambus:

"...."

Beffica:

"She's just a thief, no wonder her and Cromdo work so well together, they're nothing but squeebs."

Gramble:

"I never spoke to him before..but..I don't think he likes me very much.."

Wiggle:

"She stole my banjo and said she wanted to play a song, but then she threw it off a cliff! I'm so glad I have fast reflexives."

Snorpy:

"All they do is steal stuff! Then lie about stealing that stuff! I haven't gotten my inventions back in 3 months!"

Cromdo:

"Ah..that grump is something all right..greatest business partner ever, she and I are gonna rule the money world!"

Triffany:

"Oh..Amly? I don't come in contact with her often but Wamby doesn't like her."

Chandlo:

"After they stole my balls AND Snorpy's inventions, I promised to never speak to them for the rest of my life bro!"

Floofty:

"I don't appreciate them stealing my leg or my notes. If given the chance, I would experiment on them."

Shelda:

"Do not speak of thy name who gladly would turn his back on us if given the chance!"

Cemi:

"Nope. I don't like her at all..she's not that attractive..and she hangs with Cromdo."

Charlia:

"I really don't like it when she tries to remove my arm..it hurts my feelings.."

Being asked about Floofty:

"I like stealing their stuff but if I offered to help them, I think they'll kill me."

Meeting them:

"Woah..a new face! I haven't seen anyone new around here in..grumping forever!"

"Who are ya and why are you talking to me?"

*explains*

"Oh! You're that amateur journalist Lizzie was talking about! I thought you were never coming, isn't this grand? New faces! New people! New stuff to..borrow!"

"I'm Amly Dustforce, the ruler of Snaktooth island!"

Will you come back to town?

"Wait..town? No way..if Cromy's not there, then I'm not going!"

"Also, I'm a little parched, can ya get me a Sqaquiri? I'd drink those things, everyday of the week, maybe we can..cut a deal, how's that sound doll?"

*Caught Sqaquiri*

"Now THAT was a refreshing beveridge, thanks doll!"

"So, ya want me to come back to town? Well, I might need some convincing, I want ya to find out what that Filbo kid does when nobody's lookin, I could use it for..things."

*You find out what Filbo does*

"HA! Are you serious?! Oh jezz, and I thought he couldn't be more of a squeeb! HAHA! Goodness..that's a laugh I needed..ha!"

"Good to know theres some things to see in town, but I'm more interested in WHAT is in town."

"For ya final task, I want ya to steal Beffica's diary..then rip out some pages that are interesting, and give them to me. Easy."

*You grab the pages*

"Sweet! Good job my messenger grump!"

"*sigh*, I think I'm ready to go to town..but..first I want you to get Cromy in town."

But you said that was the final task

"I lied."

"Get Cromy in town and I'll follow right behind, deal?"

*Cromdo is in town*

"Wow! That was..slow but it'll do!"

"Thanks doll, looking forward to chatting with ya! Farewell!"

Interview:

Have time for an interview?

"Interview? That sounds fun! I'm in."

Who are you?

"Amly Ductforce, it's pronounced Aim-ly. Strange. I know."

Why come to Snaktooth Island?

"I heard of Lizzie's stupid conspiracy on TV, I was about to change the channel when I heard there was an island involved, and I just so happened to be looking for a place to host my vacation. So I packed up and lied about being interested in her expedition."

Vacation from what?

"My life. My job. My family. Everything basically."

Thoughts on Bugsnax?

"I guess they're ok, the names could be better..but some taste pretty good. Note, keep away from the Aggroll."

Why?

"Because those things will break some bones and the flavor isn't even worth it! Also because it's named after someone I'm not found of."

Why did you leave town?

"I could handle the drama between Wamby and Gram, but once Cromy left, I had no reason to stay. I wanted to follow him, but I decided to live near the beach instead, so yeah."

What do you think about Cromdo?

"Me and him have a pretty decent relationship, I give him what he wants and he takes the fall for me. Simple business."

Are you planning on betraying him?

"No way, he's cool, I don't consider him a friend, but he's still great to work with."

Any info on Lizbert?

"Liz..I grumping hate her! She keeps saying I stole stuff from her, I would never do such a thing! If she didn't have that little obstacle beside her, I would burn her hut down!"

Woah, calm down. Who's this obstacle?

"I am calm..just speaking out my mind. And I'm talking about Eggabell. The doctor? Lizzie's girlfriend? Eggy bell? Yeah. She and her are like..two papers in a file. Theres nothing you can do to separate those two."

What happened to Lizbert?

"If we're being honest, I'm not sure."

Are you lying?

"Heh. For once in my life, no. I really don't know what happened to Lizzie, she went up that mountain and didn't come back."

How do you know she went up the mountain?

"I saw her."

Why didn't you tell anyone?

"I did. Nobody besides Cromy believed me, guess that's the price being the best liar in the world."

That'll be it. Thank you

"No problem doll, that was pretty fun! Here, have this!"

*stolen piece of journal paper*

"Found it while cleaning Lizzie's hurt, it might help ya in someway. Any who, I gotta run, farewell!"

Side Quests:

"Heya doll, you won't believe what I discovered! It'll help ya find Liz!"

What?

"First..get me a Poptick..it's very important."

Why?

"Trust me! It's super super SUPER important!

Sure, I guess

"Caramel please."

*Got the Poptick*

"Perfect..now..I need a Snaquiri.."

Are you going to tell me why?

"Nope. Make it quick! I have a feeling my brain's about to forget everyone!"

*Got the Snaquiri*

"Good..now..I need a Cheery, that'll be all to finish this!"

I have a feeling you're lying

"I'm hurt."

Fine.

"Hurry up! I'm losing my life force!"

*Got the Cheery*

"Alright..now-"

*silence*

What?

"That's it. I was just hungry."

Why did you say it was important

"There was no way you'd do it if I asked, so I just..slightly lied."

Slightly?!

"Calm down doll! Everything fine! Nobody got hurt.."

You have a lying problem

"I know..but I can't do anything about it, it's the only thing I got."

"When you're a liar, nobody wants to be around you, nobody likes you..and nobody will trust you."

"Ever since birth, I lied, stole, and broke so many things, nobody wants anything to do with me. I had no friend and my family kept saying I was a bad person..so I don't talk to them anymore."

"Lying is all I got left doll and if I stop, I got nothing. So I'm not stopping anytime soon, so deal with it."

"Thanks for the food..farewell."

Welcome back message:

"Oh..you're..back."

"Heya Wamby, didn't know you'd be back either! How sweet! The gangs coming back!"

"Amly, if you go near my farm-"

"What? Me? Go near your farm? No way! I would never!"

"Don't think that everyone things you're a saint! Only Cromdo thinks that!"

"I don't think I am one, but it's nice knowing you think so!"

"Just stay away from my farm."

"Deal. Happy catching up with you!"

Major Celebration Dialogue:

"You know, Cromby..maybe we should take a break from our business, we're making a few people upset by it."

"Agreed. What should we do to be occupied til then?"

"Hm..maybe we could sell Bugsnax? I could..borrow that trap the journalist uses."

"Yeah..yeah I like that idea!"

"It's settled! Cromy and Amly's marketing lives on!"

"We need a better name."

"Yeah.."

*approaching him*

"Heya doll, how's the party?"

*asked to dance*

"Sorry, but I'm working. Maybe when we sell out."

*sold out*

"Wow! That was quick, how's about a dance Cromy?"

"You bet! Meet you on the dance floor!"

Reaction to partner(I guess..he paired with Cromdo and Beff):

Cromdo: "Grumping..NO!"

Beffica: "Wait..no..what..what's going on?!"

Dying message:

"I'm nothing but a liar..a cold..worthless liar. I hurt so many people..no wonder I have no friends..at least I got bugsnax.."

Final message(Good ending):

"What the ever grump was all that?! Why..did...oh zonk who cares?We're alive! Ha ha! Amly lives to see a new day!

You know..after all of this..I think I'll finally turn over that new leaf..I'll quit my job..and start fresh in the country. I should also apologize to everyone I hurt, so..sorry doll, I stole your pen...

Geez that took a lot out of me! Ah! This'll be hard!

But..it feels..kinda nice..guess I shouldn't wait around..farewell, til we cross paths again, doll."

Final message(Bad ending)

"What..the grump? Cromdo..he's..gone. This..makes me..realize..our lives are so..fragile, I..shouldn't waste it..

Oh Cromdo..if I known that..I would have put myself in your place

At least..maybe we could be together..again

Business partners forever...ha.."

I over complicate everything

[littlebitoffanfic]

Trust

Fandom: TMNT Characters: Raph, Donnie, Leo, Mikey Relationship: Raph/reader Request: I love all your TMNT fics. I was wandering if you could maybe write a fic. Raph x reader, Raph and reader get into a fight and she is walking gets into trouble and calls Raph but he doesnt answer and so she calls Donnie. Reader gets hurt bad and Raph shows up and Donnie is working on reader but Leo and Mickey have tears in their eyes. Reader survives but Raph realises he needs her and super fluffy ending.

 Sprinting down the alleys, you tried to find somewhere to stop and hide. anywhere. You could heard your chasers gaining on you again so you took off. There was no point in running into the street. There wasn’t many people about and you knew the foot had no qualms about killing innocent people. You had been attacked, managing to escape by the skin of your teeth. But you could taste the blood in your mouth, you could feel the swelling around your right eye and the scuffs and bruises that now littered your body. Your clothes were ripped in serval places with blood here and there. You needed help. Digging into your pocket, you pulled out your phone. Running while unlocking it, you nearly fell as you turned a corner but kept your balance as you pulled up Raphs number. You felt nothing but fear as you pressed ‘call’. You didn’t care about the argument you had had with him the day before, or even remember him specifically telling you not to come running to him next time you needed help. Of course, he wasn’t referring to this sort of situation. raising the phone to your ear, you listened to it ringing but there was no answer. Sprinting around another corner, you saw a chain fence with some boxes stacked up beside it that you could scale. Behind it was an empty factory you only knew about because April had done a report on the fact it was abandoned due to the previous boss being involved with a mafia like gang. A female voice spoke, stating you were through to a voicemail service and to leave your name and number after the beep. You wasted no time as soon as the shrill beep sounded. “Raph, its me. The foot found me and they are after me. Im at the abandoned factory. Please hurry.” You could hid how your voice was hiccupping out of fear. You had no doubt that he would come, you just needed to hide to buy yourself enough time. Scaling the fence, you might have had a chance. Until something whizzed by your head, missing your skull by millimetres. A throwing star. It caused you to jump and loose your grip. You fell to the other side of the fence on your left side. Pain shot through your arm, hip and thigh as they took the brunt of the fall. You had tired to protect your head but at the risk of your arm. adrenaline wasn’t enough to mask the pain as you let out a cry of pain. But the pain in your thigh felt different. Looking down, fear flooded through you. You had landed on broke glass and some was now in your thigh, penetrating your thin leggings that were now darkened with blood. Thankfully, it wasn’t large shards, or you could have been at risk of slicing and artery, but it didn’t help your chances.   Scrambling to your feet, you felt every part of you ache as you focused on getting to a safe place. The foot followed behind you, a little closer now. You tried to run, but you couldn’t. so you limped into the factory, using the door which had remained unlocked since you and April had broke the lock for her to do some snooping. You remembered that there was a room in the back of one of the upstairs offices which was hidden. The door, when closed, blended into the wallpaper. Racing as quickly as your damaged body would allow. once inside, you went straight to your hiding place which you were thankful for the several bolts on the door. Once you were sealed inside, you took out your phone to try again. You called and called, with no response. You even texted him, saying he needed to pick up the phone. But another 3 missed calls later showed he didn’t have his phone. Or he was ignoring you. “Stubborn brute.” You growled through gritted teeth as you found Donnies number. Of the brothers, he was the most likely to having his phone with him. Or connected to his Bluetooth. It rung three times and was picked up. Donnie had barely said ‘hi’ when you interrupted. “The foot found me. Im in the abandoned factory.” You were trying, your voice cracking as you fought against screaming in pain. You didn’t have to say anything else about your location. You had allowed Donnie to put a tracker on your phone. “Are you hurt?” Donnie asked. The sound of Mikey and Leo asking questions in the back about what was happening. But no Raph. “yeah, pretty badly.” You winces as you looked at your leg. “Im in the back hidden room. Theres too many to fight.” “is there a window?” Donnie kept his cool which you were thankful for. You needed that right now. “Yes.” You look to the small window. “Put the phone in the window. I’ll track it. We’ll get in through the window, get you, and get out?” Donnies voice sounded like he was asking a question, probably directing it towards Leo to make sure it was a plan. Leo agreed. “Hang tight.” “What about Raph?” You heard Mikey ask in the back ground. You could hear the worry in his voice. “We don’t have time to find him. Shes hurt and they will find her.” Leo sounded angry. “We’ll be there in 4 minutes.” Donnie spoke a little louder, obviously trying to mask the argument. “Okay. Hurry.” You whimpered, before the line went dead. The fear of the situation caught up with you as you sat down on the floor next to the window, carful to keep your bleeding thigh up. Pulling your sleeve up carefully, you could see the bruising from your fall starting to form. At least you hadn’t broken your arm or hip. Sobbing, you could hear the foot tearing apart the downstairs. you tried Raph. Again and again and again. Looking back to the door, you could hear they were coming up to the level you were on. You would need to put your phone up on the window ledge in a moment. But you really didn’t think they would make it in time. Pulling up your messenger, you quickly typed. ‘I love you, not matter what happens.’ once sent, you reached up and placed your phone on the ledge, immediately feeling pain course through your arm. Perhaps you had knocked your head in your fall, or you had lost more blood than you thought, because you were feeling the adrenaline wear off. In its place was weakness and sleepiness. ‘don’t fall asleep’ you told yourself again and again as you stared at the door. Banging filled the room. They had found the door you were hiding behind. Crashing filled the room as you felt your arms across your face in defence, fearing the worst? “[y/n]?” Leos voice settled your fear as you looked up. They had came through the window, right over the top of you. “Here.” You called out, your voice weak as you tried to stand but collapsed down. “Hey, hey, don’t move.” Donnie held up his hands. “anything broken?” “No, but ive got glass in by thigh.” You told him the thing that was concerning you the most. “Okay, im going to give you some painkillers okay. And pick you up.” He pulled out some pills and raised them to your mouth. You took them and swallowed, grateful he had thought ahead. Donnie had the stronger stuff doctors used in his lab. more banging told you all that you couldn’t stay here much longer for the painkillers to kick in. Donnie apologised before picking you up. Pain spread through your body like fire as you fought to keep from screaming. Everything hurt and you closed your eyes as you gritted your teeth. “You’re doing well.” Mikey’s words of encouragement didn’t fall of deaf ears as the cool wind hit your face. Opening your eyes, you saw that Donnie was using a grappling hook to attach himself to the building and scale down from the window. Leo and Mikey raced down, making sure the coast was clear. They couldn’t exactly race from the top of buildings with you now. “My phone.” You suddenly remembered. If you had left it, they might be able to trace the others. “Mikeys got it. Don’t worry. You’re safe now.” Leos voice calmed you greatly, but it wasn’t what you needed. You wanted to hear Raph calming you, his words of encouragement. But he wasn’t here. They took you a few blocks from the factory before dropping into the manhole which would lead back to their home. “Wheres Raph?” You asked, trying to distract yourself from the pain. “He went out, not long after you guy had…” Donnie trailed off, obviously not wanting to finish his sentence or bring up the fight. “We thought he had went to find you.” you shook your head. That had been 3 hours ago. You had went home for 2 hours then went for a walk to clear your head. He must be on some roof top, brooding. “I tried to call him. A bunch of time. He didn’t answer.” You shook your head. “I think he left his phone in his room. I heard it going from my lab. I thought he had just left an alarm on or something.” Donnie looked down, feeling guilty even though it wasn’t his fault. You felt your trust in Raph dwindling. He had promised to keep his phone on him at all times in case you needed him, and vice vera. Donnie reminded silent as the three turtles slow to a walk as they made their way into the lair. The silence told you Raph wasn’t here. Donnie took you straight to the lab, placing you on the table which was thankfully clear. you heard Donnie telling his brothers what to get. He used a needle to inject you with some more painkiller while grabbing some scissors to cut some of your legging. “What else hurts?” leo asked you, his eyes scanning your body for any more signs. You told him about your arm and hip, then your bruises and scraps and how you got glass in your leg. “I think we need to remove the glass first. I don’t think you need stitches, but we need to clean the wound.” Donnie said and Leo agreed. “The only thing is it will take time for the pain relief-“ “Screw the pain relief. Its fine. Just get the glass out.” You told Donnie, earning a worried look from Mikey, but everyone knew. You only had a little time, and without the strongest anaesthetic or pain relief or blood transfusions, you needed to get fixed now. Leo disappeared for a moment and came back with a leather strap for you to bite on. But it didn’t help. Screaming, Mikey was then assigned to hold you down. He apologised the entire time as Donnie pulled each shard from your leg. You didn’t think there was that much, but it felt like he pulled out glass after glass after glass. You screamed the entire time. “[y/n]!?” A voice called through the lair and everyone seemed to freeze. Donnie looked up at Leo, unsure of what to do. Leo seemed to have a plan as he walked up to the door as Raph came racing in. you could see the fear in his eyes when they found you on the table. but Leo was in front of Raph in a heartbeat. “Move!” Raph growled at Leo, but he didn’t. “She doesn’t need this right now.” Leo spoke in a calm voice, but you heard some venom behind it. “I was away for a few hours. Why didn’t you protect her?!” Raph pushed Leo back. “Perhaps we could have. If she hadn’t put so much faith that you would.” Leo didn’t fight back, didn’t raise his voice, but his words cut through Raph. They were angry at each other, but Leo was right. You didn’t need this. You didn’t need them fighting and Mikey and Donnie so on edge that they cant help you. Leo had more medical knowledge that Raph, and Raph didn’t know what had happened so far or the full extend of your injuries. So you said something you never thought you would ever have to say to Raph. “Raph, can you just leave? Please?” Your voice held no venom, no angry or aggression but it caused Raph to freeze. He didn’t look at you, or he couldn’t, you didn’t know. he looked at Mikey, who was shaking quite badly and on the verge of crying. Then to Donnie, was had your blood on him, then to Leo. All the colour seemed to drain from his face. And he left. When Leo turned back towards you, you saw he had tears in his eyes. And you understood. They were scared. You closed your eyes, tears streaming down your cheek as you tried to regulate your breathing. “[y/n]? we have to continue.” Donnie said, placing his hand on your shin to offer some “Okay, okay.” You nod, putting the strap back in your mouth as Mikey braced himself.

---------------------------time skip ----------------

An hour or so later, and you had passed out. When you awoke, you were in the bedroom which you use to sleep in when you stayed at the lair before you and Raph had been together. Donnie came in to check on you when you woke up. He told you that you had been asleep for 12 hours, and they were starting to get really worried. Donnie had to put about 4 stitches in 2 of the wounds but he said the rest just needed paper stitches, which you were grateful for. You had thankfully just bruises your arm and the rest of your injuries were easy to see to. “Thank you.” You smiled, grateful for Donnies vast knowledge. “You’re my sister. Theres nothing to thank.” Donnie shook his head, just happy you were still alive. “Could, could you see if Raphs about? Ask if he can come in?” You ask, hesitating a little. You didn’t like sending the brothers as messengers between each other, but Donnie nodded and left. A few minutes later, there was a quiet knock at the door. “Come in.” You called, unable to quiet your own racing heart. You didn’t want to be fighting with Raph, and you didn’t want him to blame himself for this. Raph came in like a kicked puppy. He walked across the room and sat on the sofa that was by your bed. “Leo said to give you this.” He held out something to you. Your phone. “Oh, thanks.” You smile, taking it and placing it on the bedside. “i-I eh, I didn’t have mine on me. When you had tried…” Raph trailed off, unable to even look at you as he struggled to find the words. “yeah.” You nod, unsure of what to say. “I’m sorry.” He breathed, closing his eyes and shaking his head. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there.” “I know, I know.” You say in a soothing voice. “[y/n], you could have died!” Raph snapped a little, but not at you directly. “I know, but I didn’t.” You shrug. “Donnie thought you’d shattered your bones.” Raph shook his head, unable to understand why you sounded so care free. “But I didn’t.” You point out again. “We thought you weren’t going to wake.” Raph looks up at you, bewildered. “But I did.” You raise your eyebrows at him. Raphs gaze was one of utter confusion, and it breaks your serious facade. You couldn’t help the grin that pulls at your lips or the chuckle that leaves your throat. But it seemed it was what the room needed, as Raph ended up having a smile pull at his lips. It cleared the room of the tension and the awkwardness. However, Raph did stop smiling as he thought. “you texted me saying you loved me. After you’d phone Donnie. Why?” He asks, his eyes darting to your phone and back. He had read your messages, seen how you had tried to call him and probably listened to your voicemail. “Because I wanted you to know that. I knew when you found out what was happening that you might blame yourself. But I know you wouldn’t put me in danger on purpose or not help me to be malicious. I just wanted you to know that I held nothing against you if the worst happened.” You explained to him, unable to stop tears from forming in your eyes and cascading down your cheeks. Raph nodded looking away from you as you saw tears pooling in his own eyes. You had never, ever seen Raph cry. “I love you. You know that, right?” He asks you. He looked… concerned. “Yeah, of course.” you nod, unsure why he would ask such a question. “do, do you still trust me?” He asked, seemed terrified of the answer and you suddenly understood. trust was so important in your relationship. You didn’t mean trust as in infidelity. It was the sort of trust that allowed you to fall and know he’d catch you. The type that told you he was always close when you needed him. The trust in his vow to keep you safe. You paused, trying to think of your answer. While you didn’t hold any grudge against him for your injuries, you couldn’t say if he would be the first person you called if something happened again. “I want to say yes, but it wouldn’t be entirely true.” You finally say. You didn’t want to lie to him and part of him probably knew the answer already. Raph takes a deep, shaking breath before nodding. “but I want to.” You add, offering him a lifeline. Raphs head snapped to your own, as if to make sure you had actually spoken and it wasn’t his imagination. “Really?” He breathes, hope in his eyes. You nod with a smile, confirming what you had just said. “I’ll do anything, anything you want.” He vows to you, moving from the sofa to kneel beside you. You smile and take his head, giving it a little squeeze but you felt a small pain niggling in your leg. “Could you ask Donnie for some more pain killers?” You ask, wanting to stop it before eit starts. “yes, of course.” Raph jumps up, ready to run to Donnie but you didn’t let go of his hand. “But first, you could start with a kiss.” You smile sweetly. Raph all but melts as he leans down and gently presses a soft kiss to your lips. He was highly aware of all your injuries, but couldn’t deny you such a request. you were about to reach up and touch his cheek, but you felt a sharp, shooting pain in your right shoulder. Raph quickly moves away, afraid hes hurt you but you just smile as you let go of his hand to rub  your shoulder. “Right, pain meds.” He nods, his new task in the forefront of his mind. “I’ll be right back.” He rushes off to find Donnie. You couldn’t help but smile. It wasn’t much, but it was a start to regaining that trust.

[mousehole5000]

 this is it... the final post.... 226 through THE END!!!!!

this shit with mu qing and the river of lava is SOOOO dramatic im loving it

oh my god theyre on a FUCKING bridge of course they are okay let’s go boys

“You’re right. We’re alike. You think me odd, I think you to be rather weird too.” - so what im getting from this is that xie lian and mu qing are the only characters in this book with working gaydar okay yup got it this checks out

god... the fact that xie lian is ready to be like “look mu qing we can just forget about the past it doesnt matter we dont have to be friends i know you dont like me but im not gonna let you die over it” and then mu qing is like “.... god i really do admire you huh”

“You...certainly...are rather amazing. You’re...also...a better person...than me. Long story short, I...very much wanted...to become your f-f-friend.”  - going to think about this for the rest of all time im about to become utterly unintelligible im overcome with emotions

“And, at the end of the white silk band, Feng Xin was gripping Ruoye with one hand while the other was holding on to a steel-faced Mu Qing, and he shouted towards him.” - the fucking IMAGE of this im gonna cry this is everything i could have asked for im so happy also mu qing dangling there like “ welp. guess ill live“

“Feng Xin was almost burnt by that pillar of fire, and he shouted in outrage. “WHAT’S WITH THIS BAND OF DOG SHITS, ATTACKING PEOPLE WHILE THEY’RE DOWN, SO VILE! FUCK YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY!” Xie Lian responded, “IF THEIR ENTIRE FAMILIES ALL LOOK LIKE THAT, YOU SURE YOU WANT TO FUCK THEM??” - theyre so funny!!! and theyre best friends!!! theyre joking together now in the middle of all this i could cry theyre back!!!

“Using sticks as arrows, he held the bow with one hand and used his teeth to bite back the bowstring.” - no clue how practical this is but okay archer boy. hot

i actually have so many little quips between the three of them highlighted but we’d be here all night if i included them all. im literally so delighted by this omg worth the wait

“Each sabre strike slashed to the bone. It wasn’t like Xie Lian had never seen Hua Cheng use the sabre before in the past, but his style had always been easy and leisurely, nonchalant and casual. Rather than say he was handling a weapon, it was more like he was toying with a small knife. Yet those blade marks were filled with killing intent. It was easy to imagine just how skilled the one exchanging blows with him was, and how perilous this battle.” you have no idea how mad i was when i read this and thought we missed witnessing the fight between hc and jw omg

“Behind him, Feng Xin muttered, “Dear fucking god, may all the gods and buddhas grant their blessings, that better absolutely be Crimson Rain Sought Flower, otherwise he’s gonna go mad!” “Stop your rubbish,” Mu Qing berated. “We’re all the gods and buddhas ourselves and we can’t grant shit, just keep up with him! Look at the stumbling way he’s running, he’s gonna trip and fall to his bloody death before he even sees the man!” - okay i know i said no more quips but this is literally too funny i just wanted to read it again

“ However, for whatever reason, that vicious ghost, in its muddled state, took that large group of live mortals under its wing and fled for many days. In the end, they were still surrounded by millions of ghosts, trapped in a dead end, and it was going to be eaten along with those humans.” [...] “That vicious ghost almost made a move against those humans, but for some reason, in the end, it didn’t. It instead used one of its own eyes as the price to forge a blood weapon. That vicious ghost was already forcibly hanging on with its last breath; after digging out its eye it should’ve broken apart completely. Yet somehow something had shocked it, and it instead woke to its senses completely. “ - THIS IS AMAZING ARE YOU KIDDING ME???? IS THIS ALL WE GET ABOUT HIS GHOSTLY LORE?????? HUA CHENGGGGGGGG

“What a terrible offence, his old habit had come out, and he quickly apologized. “I’m sorry! You don’t have to listen to me!” Hua Cheng, however, only smiled happily. “Everything gege tells me is the best advice, so why wouldn’t I listen?” - this isnt the fucking time afjdkfjsdkl they really never stop

“So you can hold the illusion of a perfect Crown Prince of Wuyong to face and dismiss the Jun Wu now. Isn’t that your objective? Did you think I don’t know what you’re thinking?” “THAT’S NOT IT!” Guoshi cried. “Stop getting tied up in right and wrong, victories and defeat, I’VE NEVER THOUGHT THAT WAY BEFORE!” - jun wu only being able to see xie lian as his successor and believing that thats all anyone else sees too... okay

honestly this whole final showdown was a blast i cant put everything in but it was so much fun to read. the DRAMA the LAVA the SHOUTING t

“Hua Cheng had poured too much spiritual power into him. There really was too much, so much that it was completely outside the amount the cursed shackle could withstand.” - okay.... okay... the love you give will set you free... okay....

“With Jun Wu in his grip, he carried both their bodies and forcefully slammed into the incomparably-solid rock wall! He used all of his power in this smash, and in the rumbling and crashing of rocks, he also heard the sound of something breaking.” [...] “A moment later, Jun Wu suddenly asked, “That move. What is it called?” “...” Xie Lian raised his sleeve and wiped away the blood on the side of his face. “Shattering boulders on the chest.” YES!!!!! YES!!!!! xie lian actually lived that life!!!!!! i loved this detail so much

“After a moment of silence, Xie Lian took off the bamboo hat carried on his back, took it in his hand, and covered it over Jun Wu’s face.” - xie lian... good... another detail i love. a hat that protects from the rain, given in a moment of need, even to someone who has caused you hardship... we do not forget the kindness granted to us

“There was gratefulness, there was shame, there was heartache, there was wild joy, but above all else, there was incurable love.” - :pleading: i wish it was just that easy tbh. “i have to tell you about the worst parts of myself” “ive already seen them and i dont care i still love you“ truly the dream

“ It’s been so long since anyone listened to me talk, won’t you stay? Don’t...actually do this. I won’t be able to take it. Twice, it’s been twice already! I really don’t want there to be a third time!!!” - the bit about just wanting someone to listen to him talk... xie lian... :(

emily corpse bride moment.... i knew it had to happen.... butterflies.... death and rebirth.... inevitable

xianle trio bickering about ruoye..... mu qing complaining but not letting anyone else fix it... im so happy

“The Rain Master sat down on the spot, looking like she was going to perform a passing service for her. After all, Xuan Ji was the only one left of the Kingdom of Yushi besides herself.”  - xuan ji you sure the hell were... a character. this little moment tho..... yushi huang... many thoughts

“ Who hasn’t made promises, or swore to the mountains and the seas when they were young? Talking of affection, of love, of forevers. But, the longer I hang around in the world, the more I understand, something like ‘forever’ is impossible. It’s never going to be possible. Having it once was already good enough. No one can truly achieve it. I don’t believe in it anymore.” - jian lan im happy for you bummer it didnt work out with feng xin but yeah that was looooong ago. also this quote me same mood kin but its chill. having it once was already good enough

although yeah tbh if theres anyone who can have a forever like that... it would be a ghost and a god

fasdfjadklfj GOD... pour one out for ling wen.. but is that not the truth of this world? the one can be pardoned for being good at paperwork that no one else wants to do? isnt that the plot of the shawshank redemption?

okay but the fact that all xie lian’s friends come to visit him while he waits for hua cheng is making me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.... fengqing coming together to try to get him out of the house but get scared off by his cooking... amazing

“Last time, they spent eight hundred years running towards each other. This time, it only took an instant to fall into each other’s embrace.” - im completely unaffected by this. im not lying i swear (i am lying im very emotionally affected)

okay i love this final wrap up chapter party its so fun. mu qing moving on from the broom thing!!! good for him!! the beggars get their reward!!! the fun ghost city chefs!! SQX!!!! and he xuan is?? here too??? he’s hungry??? fjadlkfjsdl

“The grounds that Feng Xin and Mu Qing had just swept were once again filthy from that giant crowd of muddy feet. Mu Qing gripped his broom, looking like he felt someone had infected him with fleas, and his eyes were wide.” - me when my dad comes into the kitchen when ive just finished washing dishes i get it king

the little folklore bit... fun!!! oh my god its over..... :(

that was really fun i had a blast reading it and on the whole really liked it i WISH soo badly that hua cheng had gotten more outside of being cunty and devoted even tho those are both important i just wish there was more about like how he got by during those 800 years and like did he ever have doubts? what shaped his worldview was it all xie lian or was it his experience as a mortal as well? why is he so mean to e’ming? theres bits and pieces here and there and i know it was already SO long but that really would have been great if there was more about hc cuz tbh by the end, at least for me, the hualian relationship didnt actually feel as fleshed out as the xianle trio relationship like i still liked hualian’s dynamic and it was really sweet how much they clearly really liked each other and  everything but i kind of wish some of the other subplots had been dropped or diminished in favor of more hc development i think that would have been cool

but anyway thats some of my thoughts and i really did enjoy the hell out of book 5 that was a riot and uhhh thanks to everyone who read these or commented *lends you spiritual energy through a high five*

[lemongogo]

hey im the anon abt gyutaro/ume and i dont remember what happens to demons after they die ?? did i miss smth ? regardless i wanna ask what do you think their fate should be ? cause on one hand i think they're just victims of a cruel world who took the first way out they could find but on the other hand it doesnt rlly justify all the slaughter, and i also think abt the demon slayers who also suffered horrible fates and used it to fuel their determination to save other people from that pain

hi !! i don’t think kny ever explicitly mentions what happens to demons after they die (as in we never have concrete evidence of where they go or how their lives after are spent), but i think the general consensus is that the demons go to hell. 

in some cases, the family can decide to go with them (ex: rui and i think akaza? if i remember correctly?) but their fate is pretty much sealed from that point forward i believe. 

heres a pic of gyuutarou and ume, actually, in chapter 97 !!

but yeah !! thats something i think about a lot tbh. as you mentioned, many of the demons we’ve seen have either been groomed into demonhood (rui, ume, susamaru, etc.) or had their pain and suffering exploited (akaza, gyuutarou) for the sake of advancing other demons’ plans (muzan, douma, etc). so i agree ! a lot of these characters are unfortunate victims in themselves and its impossible to view their stories without incorporating the struggles they’ve had to face as both humans AND demons. especially considering that lots of these individuals experience muzan’s abuse regardless of their status relative to him (such as with the upper and lower moons). i think this is best explained through akaza’s relationship with muzan,

(ch. 67)

(ch.156)

and further explored though tanjiro’s observation of rui’s death. he notes that being a demon, for most, is an existence punctuated by extreme grief and despair, and that’s equally supported, i think, by the humanization of these demons following death. that their original conscious is restored (albeit with knowledge of everything they’ve done) and are oftentimes plagued by the guilt of what’s happened.

(ch.43)

what he says here is probably what sums it up for me. that while it’s important to condemn these demons and hold them accountable for the truly awful things they’ve done, it’s also important to consider the suffering they've experienced through existence alone. its so !! complex !! and thats what i love about kny. i love how .. you have some demons who are entirely despicable and bask in the carnage they create, but you also have some for whom demonhood was simply what appeared to be the only answer towards living a healthier life or righting the wrongs that’ve been done to them (usually with false promises and manipulation unbeknownst to them). and .. its so hard to figure out where to.. draw that line. or view these characters at least. because you sympathize with their pain, but you also realize that their actions have caused endless pain for many hundreds of people. tanjiro losing his entire family, giyuu losing his. shinobu watching her sister die before her very eyes, and kanao the same. the ubuyashiki family’s curse or the slaughter of himejima’s children. you look at characters like sanemi, shinobu, or giyuu and understand that you cannot invalidate their view of demons either. while kanae and tanjiro may find hope and humanity in demons, they exist as monsters who feast on pain to everyone else. its important not to discredit their perspective when making a personal choice to observe the demons’ hardships yknow. shinobu’s anger is just as warranted as tanjiro’s optimism and that neither are wrong for how they personally feel demons should be handled after death. 

im like. AAAAAAAA theres so much to it , its really hard for me to condense into a few sentences AHAHA im so sry for making u read this if u still are. but . i guess i’m not too sure. i think maybe, had i experienced the same pain as those above, it would be easy for me to say the demons deserve to go to the worst hell imaginable regardless of what they’ve gone through because that history isn’t accessible to everyone like it has been the audience (or that they’ve seemingly made the conscious decision to cause harm w/o understanding the ways in which demonhood obscures their original conscious/morality). but at the same time, you have those like tanjiro whose world view is shaped by positive encounters with demons like nezuko, tamayo, yushirou, etc. where it seems very evident that . theres more to it than what meets the eye. 

one of my friends ive talked to about this had a rly good perspective on it thats kinda stuck with me since !! she said she likes to view their conclusion as some . separation of identity?? if that makes sense?? that the demon side of them goes to hell while their human form goes to heaven (or division into whichever afterlife). and !! i think thats a really neat interpretation because there’s obvious descrepancy between demon personas and human personas. that the demon personas are like. exaggerations of their flaws, almost (akaza becoming hellbent on battle spirits and physical victories when hajuki’s fury & determination was fueled by love in a sense) while their human personas are the truest sense of self. and depending on which influence there is (muzan vs the appearance of loved ones), their identity changes accordingly. so ! idk ! thats one nice way of looking at it. holding their demon personas accountable while also recognizing that many of these characters deserve some form of healing after many hundreds of years of abuse. its hard because ofc i don’t want to negate the harms they’ve caused but its also? not cut and dry given the environment they were placed in and the fact that muzan’s blood essentially removes their humanity against their will you know. so in this way at least you have both forms of self receiving the proper conclusion. 

whwhwhw so im. !!!!!!!!!!!! ah !! i can’t say i have a definite answer but i think the one above is smth thats comforting to me. i think the story settles with sending them to hell once they’ve regained their past self but also .. “softens” it by providing them company by their loved ones who are willing to go w them?? so thats rly cool to look at too. because it holds them accountable for all that’s happened but also.. recognizes that they’re not wholly responsible for it either and that .. even in hell they’re able to keep their connections and human emotions/experiences . its tragic yet oddly. fitting, i think, of the kny narrative. while i like the aforementioned interpretation, i also really.. appreciate the way its set up in canon too. like yeah i want the best for them but also. it fits in with the tragic nature of demonhood and what it meant for them all. oddly enough. 

u make a good point too !! about demon slayers experiencing the same hardships but using their pain to help others. i think a lot of it is plainly chalked up to luck in terms of.. what they were exposed to following tragedy. how shinobu and kanae were saved by himejima, tanjiro saved by giyuu, kanao picked up by shinobu and kanae, sanemi given the guidance of kagaya while akaza was killed by muzan during his lowest moment, ume and gyuutarou were cornered by douma, rui misled by muzan, etc. i think circumstance is definitely a large factor in determining the paths that were taken. such as sanemi’s anger being validated and heard by ubuyashiki vs, say, akaza’s same anger being intentionally exploited for muzan’s gain.

aaa anyways. theres a lot 2 be said about this. like. SO much on my mind and obviously the extent of muzan’s abuse goes far deeper than what’s briefly mentioned here but.  i love talking about the complexities of kny . and how i view the demons vs the corps and how each of them have grown into their respective stories . AA but ill end it here THNK U >> also so sry for making u read thru all of this i get so excited i could talk abt kny all day long if i had the chance AAA 

[thebibliomancer]

Dark Crystal Age of Resistance Tactics liveblog pt 15

As loath as I am to admit it, I probably need to do some encounter leveling. Looking ahead, the Stonewood unite the clan missions are for level 37. I don't even have anyone level 30 yet!

I'm slightly agitated because up until this point the game has been decent at keeping the level progression tied to the difficulty curve. I hadn't needed to grind a lot. But there's a sudden spike in difficulty at this part of the game. Which I suppose is fair in one sense since this is endgame but on the other hand, boo.

Gobbles: Hup and Boggi leveled. Kylan learned Blinding Light. Naia learned Cleave 2.

Swamp: Rian learned Aughra's Ire, Kylan UNLOCKED SONG TELLER! Gurjin and Boggi leveled. And Hup learned Bad Broth which lets you detonate a cauldron.

Back to the tavern, oh god: Actually I executed this one flawlessly and killed all the enemies before they ever had a chance to attack. I don't love having to grind but I do love feeling how far I've come.  Anyway, Naia, Rian, Brea, and Boggi all leveled but didn't learn anything. But I did find Shimmering Scale and a Sharpened Dirk.

Place where Chamberlain abandoned his car: Gurjin leveled, Deet leveled and learned Overthink 2, Rek'yr leveled and learned Opening Act, Hup leveled and unlocked Musician. TIME FOR A CAREER CHANGE.

I'm giving Hup a Custom Bass. He deserves it.

Place where Chamberlain abandoned his car, again: Rian leveled and learned Thorns. Naia leveled. Found a Heavy Cleaver, by the side of the road. Weird what people leave laying around.

Cave: I love when my entire party is beserked so I get to watch the game play itself. Its the best. But Wukki leveled. Rek'yr leveled and learned Spot Weakness. Brea leveled and learned Firemoss Bundle 2. And Kylan leveled and learned Scathe.

Swamp: Hup died. Boggi leveled. Naia leveled and learned Smite 2. Gurjin leveled and learned Tangle Up 2. And I found a spoon. Naia and Gurjin also hit max lvl in Paladin and Stone Warden respectively so I'm switching them to Soldier and Paladin respectively so they can learn more stuff.

Desert: Hup leveled and learned Perform, which I should hope so since he's a musician. But its a self cast ability that makes adjacent allies take their turns faster. Deet and Kylan leveled. Found a Student Thesis, just abandoned in the desert. Isn't it sad?

Bar again: Rian leveled and learned Cascade AND CAN BECOME A STRATEGIST NOW! Ivo leveled and learned Fleet Shot 2. Wukki leveled.

Bar again again: Rek'yr leveled and learned Poisoned Blades. And got Arathim Shell Plating! This is going right on Rian!

Swamp again: Geeze, I hate Threaders. Anyway. Boggi, Brea, and Hup leveled. Deet leveled and learned Earthen Roots 2.

Desert: Kylan leveled and learned Thrum of Power, which is an awesome name for a move. It heals and grants haste for one turn.

Road to Ha'rar area: Oh fun another encounter where my whole party gets beserked so I get to watch the game play itself. Why not, not being interactive sure saves me some time. Wow, look at it go. Hooray, I won. Naia, Gurjin, and Breg leveled. And I found a Warforged Battleaxe.

A different swamp: Alyadon leveled and learned Convalesce 2. Nobody else leveled. I think I'm getting to the point where this level of encounter is becoming less cost effective. This is leaving poor Rian the only member of the party who isn't level 30. Isn't it embarrassing, Rian? Also I found a Custom Bass just sunk into the swamp.

That road to Ha'rar place again: Ivo and Wukki leveled. Rian leveled and learned Flow of Battle. Also I found an Exquisite Poignard.

And that gets everyone at least level 30. Hopefully that'll do for now the next stretch of the game.

---

Mission: Podling Rush - Spriton Village

"A Spriton village is in trouble. Something has driven the neighboring Podlings mad! Help hold off their attacks."

Finally back to this! Where hopefully the podlings aren't revolting for their right to be dirty!

Oh, looks like I have some friendly Spriton villagers on this map.

... Oh. Oh, shit! Darkened Podlings! This possible global warming allegory has gotten serious!

Party: Hup because he is a Podling, Brea and Boggi because heals, Rek'yr because he was there, and Deet because this is her subplot. The Darkening, I mean.

Rek'yr: "This village is in terrible shape. What happened here?"

Spriton Villagers: "The Podlings are back! Run!"

... THE NPCS JUST RAN AWAY! Were they on the map just to ditch me? Rude!

Rek'yr: "Why are the villagers so afraid of a few Podlings?"

You've been in a party with Hup for so long and you can still ask that?

Rek'yr: "Wait... Somethign isn't right with them. We have to defend this village!"

Only three podlings on the map. I FEEL as if that will change.

Geez, these Podlings pack a wallop. One of them walloped half of Brea's health off with one wallop.

Deet has avenged her with a good book. That shoots death.

Rek'yr and Hup team up to knock down another one of the Darkened Podlings and whoops, that was the event trigger for more spawn-ins. And they brought darkened armaligs! Hate those guys! They're way too beefy!

Theres three new podlings and two armaligs. Grumble grumble.

-peer up at the top right- Why does that mission objective box say "Defeat the Podling Raids 1/3"? Are there going to be three waves of this?

Two of the podlings that spawned in for the second wave don't have ranged attacks so whenever they get close I just have Deet use Gust 2 to blow them further away. And Rek'yr is situated on a raised area potshotting them with bolas. I almost feel bad.

Hup lays out another podling with his instrument because that podling kept hitting Hup's good pal Brea.

ARMALIG ATTACKED MY DOGGO and the other armalig attacked my Brea. RUDE.

Brea avenges herself on the armalig with FIRE

Annnnd oops, triggered the third wave. Four more podlings, two more armaligs from the left and bottom of the map.

Note to podling potion master: Just because you silence Deet doesn't mean she can't use her rad spellbook to explode you. Sincerely, me.

Alas Hup. You were my first casualty. RIP you brave Podling.

The result of the three waves of enemies around about roughly my level is that I'm running out of MP on my peeps. But I did win with only poor, brave Hup falling (unconscious) for the cause.

Rian: "What would cause Podlings to go berserk like that?"

Brea: "We need to investigate the Podling village."

We'll probably find a lot of pissed off podlings. Although, hey, they made a bunch of podling assets for Hup so might as well find a way to use them, right? Good thinking, game!

So Boggi and Deet leveled. Brea leveled and learned Soothe 2. Rek'yr leveled and learned Death's Instinct, which is just an amazing name for an ability. And Hup learned Ad-Lib.

Also, I haven't talked about pearl rewards for a while but they have been increasing as the game went on. I got 4000 thousand some for this mission. Nice.

---

Mission: Interrupted Journey - The Long Road

"Your party journeys to the Podling village and meets an unexpected ally."

Ooo! Another new character for the game? I'm quite interested.

Iiiiiits.... POMBO! He's a Podling Musician. I'm filled with sudden dread that he's going to fill the last slot in my party instead of Tavra or Seladon. Which. I guess I'd be okay with. I don't know what I could do with Tavra or Seladon at this point. It'd be cool to have them but I've got a lot of Gelflings doing various things. Naia is a bombass paladin, Tavra would just have to play catch-up. And I got two fizzgigs so why not two Podlings?

Anyway, there's more Darkened Podlings to contend with.

Party: Gurjin, Naia, Breg, Kylan. Team Naia's Posse and Breg.

Pombo: "Gelflin tonpee apida. Bo nai! BAD WATER!"

Gurjin: "That Podling is asking for our help. What do you mean by, 'bad water?'"

Pombo: "Tonpo Gelfli-da, pyata Gelflin dzuchocho apyama-da!"

Gurjin: "Pombo says he will help us if we promise to save his village."

Don't have to ask me twice.

Rian: "Pombo is a Podling Musician. If we support him with Positive Status Effects, his music can change the tide of battle!"

I don't... remember if I have any positive status effect abilities equipped to my guys?

Oh cool, he's not controlled by me. He's just doing his thing. And he did

ULTIMATE SOLO! -thrashes on lute-

Which hurts every enemy and heals every ally. Nice.

Luckily, Kylan is a Song-Teller and is very motivating.

Having watched ULTIMATE SOLO a couple times. The animation for it is delightful.

Alas, Breg and Naia killed by Darkened Podlings.

I just noticed, right after a Podling hit him with an attack that took off half his health, that a win condition is that Pombo can't die. Whoops.

But good ol' Kylan Scathe'd the last Darkened Podling.

Rian: "Pombo, what is happening? Why are the Podlings attacking?"

Pombo: "Skeksisa lolemilod nai-da. Yotsa uchapapodche ada shopo-pida dze ulendzi Gelflin-da ya!"

Hmm, I'm not sure if Pombo is going to join the party if he doesn't speak... Gelflish? Its going to be hard for him to get random lines to remind us that he's still in the party.

Rian: "The Skeksis poisoned your water? This sounds like one of the Scientist's schemes!"

He rarely has schemes really. He mostly has other people yelling at him until he does stuff.

Don't know how I feel about the Scientist actively darkening podlings instead of the Skeksis just not giving a shit.

HOLY SHIT I DID JUST UNLOCK POMBO

MY LAST PARTY MEMBER IS POMBO I CANNOT BELIEVE

Anyway, everyone level up! Everyone learn a thing!

Kylan learned Enchanting Tune (stuns enemy at two paces)! Naia learned Sharpen Blade 2 (attack up and crit chance up), nice! Gurjin learned Edged Slice (high damage and recoil) and Vindicate (defense down on enemy on crit) because he leveled twice! So did Kylan, actually. Breg learned Daring Strike 2! Which I probably won't use! Its so much setup!

Oops Breg has hit the end of the thief tree. Guess I'm switching him over to Tracker!

Hm, now that I have Pombo who has just so many levels in Musician and Potion Master already, I think I'm going to switch Hup back away from Musician. Don't need two musicians but I am missing out on some high level abilities in other jobs.

WHY HECK HUP I GUESS YOU CAN BE A PALADIN AFTER ALL! Its a feel good character arc for him. He gets to live his dream after all.

AND I'M BUYING HIM A GRAND LADLE!

---

Mission: Dark Poison - Podling Hollow

"The heroes reach the Podling village. They must stop The Scientist's wicked experiment and save the Podlings."

Holy crap, do I get to beat up the Scientist? Heck ye!

... I don't see him on the map. Alas.

Party: Alyadon, Rian the smart hero guy, Ivo the guy, Brea, and Wukki!

Lets finish off the Spriton missions!

I'VE BEEN TRICKED! THE SCIENTIST SPAWNS IN AS SOON AS THE LEVEL STARTS! I GET TO BEAT UP THE SCIENTIST!

The Scientist: "Cursed Podlings! The latest formula increases aggression, but the effects are too temporary. I'll never create a new army at this rate!"

I can imagine the movie Scientist's voice saying this.

But ah ha! I understand how it fits in now! The spiders betrayed the Skeksis, probably, so this is Scientist's first attempt. An army of angry Podlings. Good try, SkekTek.

Ok so the Scientist is the weeniest of Skeksis according to letting the Ornamentalist fight in battle but not Scientist. So he only has 1500 HP compared to the General who had 2000.

He's also got a cool electricity glowy steampunk esque spear. Pretty neat.

He's got Scalpel Slice which is what his attack is called. He's got Explosive Cask, where he throws an explosive cask. He's got Salt the Earth where he poisons an area. WITH A RANGE OF 8?? GOD! And he's got Chain Lightning which chains lightning to two additional targets.

This is going to hurt.

All we have to do is defeat the Scientist. This is going to hurt.

This is hurting. I'm getting my asses kicked. But I hit Scientist twice and he ran off to the other side of the stage to unleash his latest invention.

Lightning Aura - increases his magic, magic defense and defense by 100%. Rude.

aww he shot lightning at the doggo...

Welp. Everyone dead except Brea and Alyadon...

On the plus side, I've almost killed all of the minions. On the negative side, everyone dead except Alyadon.

On the other negative side, Scientist just killed Alyadon.

On the other other negative side, Salt the Earth really does Salt the Earth. The poison lingers forever.

---

TIME FOR SOME LEVELING HA HA dangit.

That place with the car: Another one of those where everyone gets taunted so the game plays itself =\

Alyadon and Wukki didn't level because they died. Ivo leveled and learned nothing. Rian leveled and learned Unfailing Blow (100% hit chance attack, its going right on Rian).

The Gobbles: Brea, Boggi, Hup, Alyadon, and Wukki leveled and didn't learn a darn thing!

That tavern again!: Naia, Breg, and Deet leveled! Alyadon leveled and learned Thorns! I found some random Fang-Studded Armor!

That road to Ha'rar place: Rian, Brea, Wukki levelled and learned nothing! Found a random Sharpened Longsword!

Sinking Isle: It occurs to me that although the tides mechanic is interesting and anxiety inducing, it can also lead to a boring level if, for instance, the enemies are localized to one side of the map so most of the level is spent moving around the map not fighting anyone because the level has some chokepoints.

Boggi leveled. Hup leveled and learned Thwack! 2! Ivo leveled and learned Eye Shot 2!

Desert: Something else I've noticed is that encounter levels have the same level elements that they did in the story mode. Including the glowy exit square. They don't do anything. They just obviously didn't make a version of the level without it.

Deet leveled and learned Life Exchange 2 (can use Life Exchange on enemies)! And has learned all the things in Adept!  Rek'yr leveled and learned Finish the Job (100% crit chance against non-boss enemy with less than 30% health)!

Citadel balcony: another one where everyone was beserked so the level played itself. Ho hum.

Naia leveled. Breg leveled and learned Aimed Shot. Gurjin leveled and learned Flurry of Steel. Kylan leveled and learned Stick and Stones (deal damage and inflict wounded may break your bones).

Hidden Grotto: Only Ivo leveled. BUT I found a Master's Opus. Its a magic book.

Drifting Dunes: Rek'yr, Pombo and Wukki level! Rian levels and learns Inspiring Presence (adjacent allies get critical chance up)! Alyadon levels and learns Cascade!

Sinking Isle again: Deet drowned =(

Boggi leveled. Gurjin leveled and learned Retribution.

Swamp: Deet leveled and learned nothing. Brea leveled and learned Awaken 2. Naia leveled and learned Bash 2.

And now that I've got a few levels under my belt, back to the mission.

Mission: Dark Poison - Podling Hollow

"The heroes reach the Podling village. They must stop The Scientist's wicked experiment and save the Podlings."

Bought a bunch of Nebrie Milk to make me immune to poison. That's just strategery that is.

No but seriously. Most of what Scientist does is lob poison. All of my party is either equipped with Nebrie Milk or Drenchen. Hopefully, I've hit this challenge in the knee.

And dang with Smite 2, Naia did six hundred damage! That's a third of his hpees!

But blah blah blah lightning aura and chain lightning time. It hurts. A lot. BUT: he can't target you from a distance if you're in the tall grass, with the velociraptors.

And boom, Scientist ass kicked. Mostly by Rek'yr who goes so often.

The Scientist: "This experiment is a complete failure! I must return to the Castle."

Rian: "The Scientist is dealt with, but what about the poor Podlings?"

Pombo: "A hup milasazabo pyata uchaahipu apyama-da!"

Deet: "A song? To put them all to sleep?"

... So. Are we just going to put the problem to sleep and hope it sorts itself out?

Gurjin leveled and learned Smite. Naia, Brea, and Boggi leveled. Rek'yr leveled and learned Silent Lunge (jump to an empty tile, Get Attack Up, rooted, and silence to self, does not end turn. So I guess you can jump somewhere and then attack? Worth a look)!

I also pick up the Leaf-Bladed Chopper, the Spriton Clan Axe! And the Scientist's Manual!

Oh, there's a cutscene of the zombie/darkened podlings surrounding our party on a hill and then Pombo does his music and puts them all to sleep.

Deet: "Tomorrow this will all seem a distant dream"

BUT HOW

Wait wait wait, shit. Scientist as much as said it. The formula is temporary so if we put them all to sleep they’ll wake up restored. You win this round, game writing.

The Leaf-Bladed Chopper has a higher attack bonus than the General's Hand Axe but the General's Axe has more assorted stat gains to defense, magic defense, and HP. So I'm sticking with that.

Scientist's Manual is a spellbook. It does even more damage than the Master's Opus so this is going right on Deet.

[dead-inside-cx]

The time Izuku tried to cook for his mum

Izuku was bored. Katsuki was home for the weekend as was mostly everyone else. He was as well; unfortunately his mum had to work so he was home alone. He wasn’t going to see Katsuki until the end of the weekend and both had agreed not to call each other unless it was an emergency. Well their parents were forcing them to.

They couldn’t say no, well Katsuki tried before Izuku frowned. That shut the boy up quickly. It might seem cruel but it wasn’t really. He just didn’t want a scene to be made. It worked.

Izuku sighed again and checked the time. He mum wouldn’t be back for a couple more hours. He had done all his homework and training, so all he could do was wait. “Ugggh this fucking sucks!” he yelled to no one. He thought about what he could do.

An idea popped into his head. He was going to cook for his mum! Yes!! She did so much for him, so he could do this. He went to the kitchen now excited to have a task. He grabbed his mums cook book and went searching for an easy recipe.

He had cooked with Katsuki a few times, and sometimes alone but only really easy shit that was hard to fuck up unless you’re almost everyone in the bakusquad and honestly the rest of his own friend group. Which yes included Lida.

He found a recipe for a cake. That would do. Seemed easy enough besides how badly can he fuck up?

~An hour later~

 “KAAACHAAAAAAN HELP MEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!” Izuku screamed into his phone. “What the fuck nerd? What did you do?” “I TRIED MAKING A CAKE FOR MY MUM CAUSE YOU KNOW SHES AMAZING AND I FUCKED UP KAACHAAAAAN ITS ON FIRE. THERES SO MUCH FIRE!!!!!!!!!!!! WHY IS THE CAKE BURNING? HELP MEEEEEEEEE” Izuku was freaking out. The cake was literally on fire in the oven. The green haired boy was too scared to touch it.

“I’m coming.” Katsuki sighed and hung up. “I have to go rescue my idiot boyfriend.” He said to his parents. “What happened?” “He tried making a cake. It’s apparently on fire. I’ll be back later.” He left and ran to Izukus.

He opened the door and ran inside. Izuku was on the floor crying. Honestly it was kinda funny. “Get up nerd.” “Kaachan!!!!” Katsuki shook his head before going and grabbing the cake out of the oven, then put out the fire. He turned to Izuku. “Baby you are an idiot.” He sighed. Izuku sniffled. “I just wanted to make mum a cake...” “I know and you are getting better in the kitchen but not enough to cook a whole ass cake by yourself. Have you learnt nothing from the idiots?” Katsuki hugged the boy. “Ill help you make another one okay? You can ice it yourself, cause I’ll have to go back home before the old hag drags me back.” He kissed the boys head, before getting started on making a brand new cake.

 ~half an hour later~

 “Seriously nerd? I’m surprised we even got that cake in the oven. You were too busy getting the shit all over us!” Katsuki glared at the boy. “You look tasty.” “Nope don’t you dare nerd. We aren’t doing this today. Go clean yourself up. I’ll watch the cake.” He saw the pout. “Now.” He folded his arms and watched Izuku walk away. “And don’t come back until your clean shit head.” “Love you to Kaachan.” He snorted. God he loved that nerd.

Izuku came back a few minutes later. The cake was luckily nearly done. “Kiss?” Izuku asked. “Nope.” “Rude! All I want is a kiss, my boyfriend hates meeeee.” Katsuki just sighed. “You need help nerd. Also take that shit back or else I won’t kiss you for a whole week.” He smirked at the gasp he got. “KAACHAN THAT’S RUDE!” He laughed. “Alright fine come here nerd.” He held his arms out and Izuku ran over excited.

Katsuki leaned in and gave the boy a kiss before pulling away. The pout was worth it. “No way. WE are not making out while the cake is still cooking. I don’t want to burn the house down. I’m not you.” Izuku pouted. “You are so mean today.” “OI take that back. I’m not mean.” Izuku just poked his tongue out at the blonde. The timer went off. “I would kill you but then I will be lonely and the cake will burn again.” Katsuki let go of the boy and turned walking back to the kitchen.

He stopped and looked back at Izuku. “Did you just fucking slap my ass?” The shit eating grin on Izukus face said it all. “Maybe.” Katsuki just shook his head. He went to the kitchen and got the now cooked cake out of the oven.

Izuku came up behind him and hugged him. “Baby I have to get going. Let the cake cool down and then ice it.” “Nooooo.” Izuku whined. Katsuki turned around. “Ill give you all the cuddles and kisses you want back at school. I promise.” He kissed him gently and yes maybe he groped his ass for a second but in Katsukis defence it was payback.

“Ill see you at school baby. I love you.” Katsuki said before he left going home to shower and change. Izuku sighed. He really wanted to spend more time with him but he knew that he couldn’t. Instead he waited for the cake to cool down before he iced it. He made sure to write ‘Worlds #1 mum.’ On it.

He then waited for his mum to come home. Who arrived soon enough. “Izuku I’m home!” Inko said walking through the door with takeout for dinner. Izuku went to the door. “Welcome home!” He said and helped carry their dinner inside.

 The two ate dinner talking about their day. “I’m sorry I almost burnt the house down.” Izuku said when it was his turn to talk. “WHAT!!? Oh god Izuku honey are you okay? What happened!!? You know you shouldn’t cook alone.” Inko went into full blown panic mode. “I’m okay! Kaachan came and helped. I tried making you a cake and it caught on fire...But Kaachan came by and he helped me fix it and he helped me make another cake. I’m going to grab it!” Izuku ran to the kitchen and grabbed the cake.

He brought it over to his mum, who started crying. “I love it! Oh it’s so sweet Izuku! Oh and tell Katsuki thank you as well when you see him.” Inko said through her tears. “I will mum, but maybe stop crying? We don’t want to flood the house again...” His mum stopped crying and laughed a little. “Sorry sweetie.” Izuku just smiled.

He cleaned up the table and did all the dishes, before cutting some cake. The two ate it happily. “Thanks for never giving up on me.” Izuku said. “Of course honey! You are my number one son!” Izuku lets a few happy tears slip through.

“I’m sorry I’ve worried you a lot ever since my quirk came. It was never my intention to. I know ever since he left things haven’t been easy but I promise things are different now!” Izuku said. “Oh honey! What did I ever do to get a great son like you? I know you worry about him coming back but he won’t and if he does well let’s just leave it at that.” Inko smiled. It was a little terrifying. “They won’t find the body? Mum you should stop watching so many crime shows! Well at least watch them with me when I’m here...” Inko laughed. “Let’s watch one now then?” Izukus eyes lit up and they picked a show to watch together. Yeah this was perfect. Izuku might not be a great cook but at least he has the best mum ever.

I have no clue where this came from, but like oh well.  If you have any requests or questions for this au feel free to let me know.

[comphersjost]

sugar daddy ➸ morgan rielly hcs!

listen this is all i’ve been thinking about all day okay i need this in my life i just want a sugar daddy mo in my life please

find my masterlist here

okay so listen

you’re probably like a photographer or something in media for the leafs

running around making sure the boys get places on time

interviews, shoots, the fucking plane, everything

and you’re really young, yk, you’re maybe 20 or so

and accelerating your education seemed like a good idea

but now you’ve got a ton of debt

so you get a job at the starbucks near your shitty apartment

you have to make ends meet right?

and its so exhausting, running around and often working 8 or more hours at each job

but you have to put on a smile for the boys and for the customers and for your bosses at both jobs

but it’s definitely taking its toll because you’re just so tired all the time

but it’s a good thing you work at a coffee shop isnt it?

morgan likes to walk around random parts of the city when he’s stressed

and hes totally been trying to work up the courage for a while to just talk to you and to get to know you fr

he’s just so fucking attracted to this young, smart, funny, and kind photographer that’s somehow responsible for team of actual children

it’s after a game and a tough loss that he comes in

it’s like 1:53 am when he walks into this starbucks on the opposite side of toronto from where his giant ass condo is

and he sees you

no, not like, oh hey you happen to be here at the same time as me,

but he sees you as in you’re coming from the back room, re-tying your apron behind you

and just like that you’re back to running around and doing too many things at once, just like how you are at the arena

somehow even at almost 2 am, your store is pretty busy

so when the next person in line steps up and you make eye contact with him you almost choke

and mo’s eyes widen and he opens and closes his mouth a few times

“hi what can i get you?” you squeak before he can say anything stupid

he def is hesitant giving you his order but does it anyways and is kind of shocked when you ask for his name for the order

you dont make eye contact while you make the drink, making sure to just call out his name when it’s ready and go back to running around

and he’s about to ask to talk to you when you suddenly straighten up and tell your shift “i’m gonna go restock the back” and you’re gone again

you probably avoid morgan for a few days, maybe a couple weeks even, after that

he ends up cornering you in your office when you’re editing pictures or something after practice

“why? why didn’t you tell me?”

you sigh, having expected this conversation since you saw him

“because it’s not relevant to any conversation we’ve had.”

“relevant? of course it’s relevant!” he throws his hands up, “we’re a team, a family, and you shouldn’t have to work 2 jobs!”

“well some of us don’t make millions of dollars a year morgan!” you finally snap at him “some of us have to work 16 hours a day to make ends meet! and even then we’re still barely living paycheck to paycheck!”

he recoils at your words, because he never though about the fact that the leafs organization might not be paying you enough to get you through your debts and bills

“let me help”

you almost choke when he says that

“no. absolutely not. i’m not a child nor am i a charity case okay? i’ve been on my own for a long time.”

he doesnt give up, and continues to press you until you kick him out of your office

after that things with morgan get a little...flirtier you could say

his touch is lingering

he’s making eye contact with you across the room and not looking away

but he’s also very publicly inviting you out with the team, watching your squirm while you have to come up with a lie every time as to why you couldn’t

and not to mention game days

holy shit he comes in wearing his game day suit and maintains eye contact with you the whole time

walk walk fashion baby

it’s only a matter of time before you cave, he thinks

and he’s right

it’s about a month later that you’re at some gala for the team

and thank god the leafs organization payed for your shit because this dress and these heels would’ve used up two entire paychecks

and morgan’s shamelessly flirting with you that night, touching you along your back and your arms and letting his hand rest on your thigh when you’re seated

it isn’t long before he has you bent over the hood of his expensive ass sports car

and for a second you’re worried because holy shit this car is worth more than your fucking life

the thought flies out the window though pretty soon

cause mo is pounding into you from behind yk, pressing you against the cool metal of the sleek black sports car

you’re choking out moans and squeals of his name and when he wraps a hand around your neck you cry out

“daddy!”

and he freezes for a second before going at you even harder

he squeezes your throat

“yeah, honey, gonna come for daddy? huh? gonna let daddy take care of you?”

and you know theres a double meaning behind his words but you just cry out

“yesyesyes, daddy, you take such good care of me, fuuuuck”

and then you’re coming while he rails you into a car that’s worth more than your existence and when he comes he forces you into another orgasm

and with all the work and running around you havent been able to get laid in a long long time

and he’s so good that you just feel so weak and drained afterwards

and then he whispers gently “you’re calling off working tomorrow, you need sleep, and i’m gonna cover everything for you for at least the next two months”

as much as you want to argue, you’ve slept maybe 10 hours in the past 2  weeks and you dont have it in you

and yeah it would be nice to be taken care of for a little bit

mo is so soft and sweet with you when he takes you home

as if he didnt just fuck the life out of you

and when you wake up in his bed, you’re a little disoriented for a second

he’s already awake, facing you with his arm wrapped around your waist

he’s pressing kisses into your neck and shoulder and you jump at the sudden realization of

“fuck! i have to get to work!” and mo pulls you back down and reminds you that everyone has a day off today

which you’d forgotten due to lack of sleep and the fact that you’d lost track of what day it even was anymore

he pulls you into his chest and buries his nose in your hair

“please, just let me take care of you,” he murmurs

you’re about to argue, now having the energy to, when he speaks again

“fuck, you work so fucking hard, and you’re amazing at what you do, and you’re so young, you don’t deserve all of this i’m not asking you to quit either job or move in with me if you dont want to or anything, i’m just asking you to let me help you. i dont want or expect anything in return okay?”

“mo, i-“

“please just think about it okay? i wanna lighten the load a little bit. and make sure you get enough sleep. i just wanna help you.”

it takes you a few days to think it over and get back to him

but you say yes, smiling shyly up at him, thanking him over and over

and he insists that you dont need to thank him

and you also are kind of embarrassed, but you ask him if the offer still stands for you to move in with him.

cause your apartment kinda sucks and the electricity is shitty and the water shuts off sometimes

and you try and promise to pitch in for rent or utilities

but he doesnt even let you breathe in the direction of the bills

which is kind good cause holy shit he lives in a swanky part of town so of course they’re expensive

i feel like he’d try not to push your boundaries, but after that first time you fucked, you just want more

and you initiate things and fuck he wants you so bad

and he tells you that he really really likes you, not just physically

and asks you out on a proper date

but you’re really not there yet, so you definitely sleep in separate rooms

but he pampers you yk

its started off as just covering your basic needs, and then to buying you clothes

and accessories

and a new laptop

and then getting your phone fixed

and then comes the lingerie

and the jewelry

and holy fuck does mo spoil you

he makes good on his promise tho

you keep your job with the leafs and your job as a barista

but being a barista becomes more of an occasional thing yk

because its fun not because you have to pay your student loans

he’s everything you’ve ever wanted

he’s attentive and caring and so fucking good to you

and loves to spoil his girl

and no one on the team is really surprised when he shows up at a bar after a win with his arm wrapped around you

they just chirp him and expose him to you about how he’s liked you forever

you just smile up at him and kiss his cheek

and you’re really glad that he found out your little secret

[kae-karo]

knlalla’s fics of 2018

hello dears! now that the year’s coming to a close, i wanted to round up a quick post of all my fics from this year, please enjoy! i’ve highlighted my personal faves/the ones i’m most proud of :’) it’s been a wild year, so thanks so much to everyone for all your kind support!

one-shots

<2k

Phancakes (x) 1k (g) - the bois being domestic on pancake day (look okay we don’t have pancake day in america i have to live vicariously through dnp), insp by this tweet and the iconic vid no tw! just domestic fluff

did you make me a video for valentine’s day? (x) 1k (g) - Dan has a tradition, every year on Valentine's day he asks Phil the same question... no tw, minor angst

my talents include... (x) 1k (g) - Dan's whiny because Phil won't pay him any attention, so he sends out a passive-aggressive tweet. shoutout to @daliensgrandads​ on tumblr for bugging me to write this (instead of my current wip whoops) no tw, unless whiny!dan counts

Days like this (Security) (x) 800 (g) - Some days just aren’t good ones. tw depression

Balance (x) 1k (t) - Phil wants to post the bunk bed insta story, but Dan just wants to sleep. no tw

i missed you (x) 1k (g) - basically their history as told by dan no tw

the way you look tonight (x) 1k (g) - dan has a vid to edit. phil has other ideas. you have to listen to the way you look tonight by frank sinatra (youtube, spotify) whilst listening to this okay no tw

Chan (x) 1k (g) - insp by the anon that sent "demon hc: phil just chuckling fondly at dan thirsting over chan, while chan searches the bus and they’re both stood outside in pyjamas on the canadian border. idk, it’s just the kinda fond, secure bde that phil exudes these days" no tw

morning coffee (x) 1k (t) - inspired by the lovely anon who sent me "I dreamed Dan posted an insta story of Phil drinking coffee in bed and he was laying on his shoulder and I kept trying to show people how cute it was but no one cared, and when I woke up I remembered that you would care, and I realized it was a dream and now I’m a tad disappointed in my subconscious for trolling me." no tw

doing nothing often leads to the very best of something (x) 2k (g) - based on this (x) and a lil imagine i wrote (x) and expanded on so thanks to the lovely anon who originally sent "that pic phil posted of dan for his bday i think where dan is making a funny face and theres a nearly empty wine bottle in the background hhhhh that makes my demon heart drop" and to the lovely anon who asked for more! no tw

The House at Pooh Corner (x) 1k (g) - insp by the anon that sent "Full demon mode: Im just finishing up the Undertale series for the first time and all I can think about as Dan and Phil talk back in forth in their different character voices is how #blessed any future child of theirs is. Just imagine them snuggled up with a kid on each of their laps, reading Winnie the Pooh and doing voices for all the characters. RIP my heart." and the anon that sent "I've been having a really bad day. And something that I find really cute is imagining what Dan and Phil would be like as parents. (noting that you don't have to have kids ever to be a fulfilled human, just that people being good parents warms my heart). Hypothetically, what do you think it'd be like? I bet Dan would surprise himself by being a good dad. b/c he'd want his kid to feel free to be themselves and we all know he can be very protective when he needs to be." no tw, parent!phan

waffles (x) 2k (g) - phil goes to the 24hr diner with the hopes of seeing his favorite waiter (insp by me seeing a cute waitress at a diner. unfortunately none of the rest actually happened to me lmao) no tw, meet cute

it’s not living if it’s not with you (x) 800 (g) - dan and phil in bed at phil's parents' home, briefly reminiscing no tw

>2k

if we stopped shipping phan (x) 8k (g) - what would happen if the entire phandom just...stopped shipping phan? insp by this post about not shipping phan for a month cause they'd freak out. Happy Valentine's day, @phantasizeit​! no tw, friends to lovers

sleepover in the moon room (x) 6k (g) - It's a tradition they've had for years (Note: this was written with the intent that it can be read completely platonically or non-platonically, whichever you prefer. It's not written to imply one way or another.) a platonic fic sorta lmao

printer error (x) 16k (m) - Dan's a fanfic writer who's desperate to meet the AmazingPhil, but one printing mishap could bring him closer to his idol than he ever anticipated. no tw, strangers to lovers with a bit of fic commentary

everyone knows that (x) 5.5k (g) - They fight more often than they don’t, but that’s just how relationships are. Everyone knows that. Phil bakes when he’s worried, especially when he's worried about Dan. And Phil bakes quite a lot. Dan hates that he's the cause of Phil's nervous baking, that Phil's always so stressed because of him, but Dan has a hard time feeling too bad when the outcome is a plate of warm cookies. no tw just some angst

The Seven Deadly Insta Stories (x) 7k (e) - A collection of seven short fics based on the seven deadly sins, as told in the form of insta stories dnp didn’t post. as a prompt from @phanfichallenge to post a fic every day this week, have my tour fic twist on the seven deadly sins!! no tw, tour fic(s)

i’d do anything to not be alone (x) 16k (t) - I don’t know why I bother waking up. It’s one of those nonessential activities, like eating or drinking or breathing. But I do it, because if I don’t, then nobody would water the plants. Phil left and Dan doesn't know why. But he has to take care of the plants, because Phil would be so disappointed if he came back and his plants had died. no tw, just lots of sadness n a bit of angst but it does, as always, end happily i promise

dark purple sky (darkness comes out to play) (x) 4k (e) - It’s not that he hates parties, it’s just that- well, no, he hates parties. And costumes. And showing up to parties in costumes, and showing up to parties decidedly not wearing costumes, and all the mumbled judgements that come along with doing so. And he hates sweets - really, the only things he does like about Halloween are the autumnal vibes and the cool weather, and experiencing those certainly did not require his friends dragging him out to some abandoned castle grounds for a half-assed late-night party. Or the one where Dan gets a blowjob from a complete stranger in the middle of the forest on Halloween. no tw really, strangers to lovers?, mostly just pwp

Properly (x) 10k (e) - Dan's been trying to take advantage of the all-hours pool for a late night swim, but some guy always shows up before him. no tw just pwp and some strangers to lovers

chaptered

Demons and Diners (x) 65k (m) - A broke Dan, on the run from his previous life, finds temporary shelter in an abandoned diner...for the night? tw depression, some blood mentions, but happy ending as always!

What day is it? (x) 32k (t) - It's the first day of the semester, and it's already gone to shit: Dan's late to his first class, finds out his mortal enemy, Phil Lester, is the TA, and gets rejected by the girl of his dreams, but at least tomorrow's a new day...right? Aka the one where Dan and Phil are stuck reliving the same day over and over and can't figure out why. no tw except some major angst, uni au, enemies to lovers

Axiom (x) 31k (t) - Axiom: a proposition that is not actually proved or demonstrated, but is considered to be self-evident and universally accepted. Dan's out for the umpteenth time at the bar for its weekly speed-dating night (not that they'd actually call it that). tw depression and a really cliche plot twist whoops but a happy ending, always

one second (x) 41k (e) - When you spend your life getting glimpses of a myriad of possible futures every time you get a little emotional, you tend to lose sight of reality, of the present; a bad day turns into a bad week because all you see are the worst-case futures. You get a little excited about something, things start to go your way, but then all you can see are the realities where things are even better. Life tends not to measure up. Or the one where Dan meets Phil on a plane, and maybe reality starts to become better than even Dan could predict. no tw really, strangers to lovers

slow-closing doors (x) 44k (t) - SECRETS, DRAMA, BETRAYAL (okay no betrayal dw). Phil's agreed to be an RA for his floor this year at uni, and he's determined to be the best RA ever - after all, this is these students' first year, he wants them to have the best year ever. Loosely inspired by Freeze Tag by Caroline B Cooney. tw minor violence nothing graphic just a lil scary, uni au strangers to lovers

Peter Phan (x) 37k (m) - Phil's woken in the middle of the night by a mysterious guy at his window who's intent on dragging him off on an adventure, and for some inexplicable reason, he agrees. Dan's stuck - quite literally - in his own head, and he's desperate for anyone to help him escape. Maybe, if he's lucky, that person could be Phil. He hopes it is. tw depression and suicide attempt, implied/referenced non-con, lots of angst, but definitely a happy ending, strangers to lovers

angel boy (x) 22k+ (e) - for the anon that sent "Oh fuck, now I need a smutty fanfic with twink!Dan taking it from behind with his angel wing tattoo (or real ones for that matter... actually, yes please, real ones. And Phil has a kink for being a bit rough with them... maybe Phil's a demon... fuuuck, someone write this for me?)" Aka the one where angel!Dan goes into a demon club looking for a bit of entertainment. no tw, my attempt at pwp turned into porn with a plot lmao

Sea Glass (x) 58k (t) - Phil arrives on the Isle of Man to house-sit at his family's cabin while it's repaired and sold. Except the cabin's in far worse shape than expected, and Phil's got to find somewhere else to stay no tw really but like i updated this a few times this year so i’m counting it

Exile (x) 172k (e) - Exile's a fucking bitch. Dan finds himself kicked out of town and searching for literally anywhere out of the rain - somehow, he must have just enough luck, as he stumbles upon a seemingly abandoned house in the middle of the forest. Except it isn't abandoned, and the resident isn't exactly...normal...

[fairycosmos]

Will u please give a poor soul a wee bit of advice as you’re a goddess of wisdom. I’m going into my last year of high school in a month & I feel so overwhelmed with the stress of the final exams and the application process for college. I’m mentally ill & while I used to be a good student, I have fallen down a slippery slope & I don’t know if I can deal with the pressure. Should I take a gap year before I go to college? I think it may lift some weight off, but it may also do more harm than good.

hey babeyyyy :(( i'm really sorry to hear that!! school is so fucking stressful and it's natural to worry about your final year, it just means you care about doing well. that's to be expected. but if you have preexisting mental health issues, your brain may force you to compulsively wonder about worst case scenarios and uncontrollable factors, as a way to induce self hatred or anxiety. it's a tactic, a side effect. but a lot of these thoughts do not reflect your reality or what the future will actually be like. there's no way of knowing, and you still have a whole year to adapt and to learn. the most likely outcome is that you will find a middle ground eventually. so breathe. i know it feels unimaginably awful at the moment, but identifying the difference between fact and fear will allow you to stay grounded in the present. it's ok if it takes a while to get to that point, or if your emotions overwhelm you at times. you've gotten through it before and you will again. sometimes all you can do is cry and lose it and let the 'episode' run its course. but as long as you're even just attempting to cope in a healthy way, through talking to someone you trust or distracting yourself, then you're doing great. better than you realize. another important thing to keep in mind is that your mental health is always more important than your education. just because it's your last year, doesn't mean you have to drop everything, no matter what the adults tell you. your academic career doesn't have to be linear, doesn't have to look like everyone else's. if you have to take a mental health day, or ask your teachers for additional support, you are TOTALLY entitled to that. in fact i encourage it. 'that' part of your brain may try to twist the narrative, may try to place blame or guilt, but your mental illness is not a reflection of your capability or your worth. and neither are your grades. don't ascribe morality or personhood to a letter on a page. the actual experience of leaving high school will probably teach you more than your lessons, in a good and bad way. anyway it's cool if you don't quite believe me right now, but i just hope that concept sticks in your head. ultimately though, all you have to do is take it a day at a time. create a simple short term plan and stick to it as best you can, repeatedly. with regular breaks of course. and make sure at least one of your teachers knows the gist of what's going on so you can keep an honest dialogue with them. it's a matter of finding what works for you, and adjusting accordingly. prioritising your mental well being should always be your goal, because everything starts with you. if you're not practicing self compassion, everything else feels a hundred times more daunting.

anywhere as far as the gap year goes, i think it's a good idea if it makes the upcoming year feel less scary. it's your life and your desicion. and theres literally no wrong answer. and you have a while to mull on it, you don't have to know for sure right now. if you need some time to truly focus on yourself then there's no harm in that. in fact i kind of think it's a sign of maturity when you know what you need and how to give it to yourself. if you can recognize that you're slipping, then that's actually a good sign. because you understand that you need help. you're not buying into any illusions. as a side note - of course, school brings structure which alleviates the impact of many mental health issues. when i briefly left college, i had no excuse to leave the house, and everything festered and i became even more isolated. though i did need that break to figure some shit out. as with everything, there's positives and negatives. so just be sure to keep up with smaller goals if you take time off, that's all. use the break to look into getting professional help if you haven't already. and try to practice self soothing exercises on a weekly or daily basis, even if you feel dumb. gap years are great tools if utilized correctly and fuck anyone who has anything to say about it. college will always be there, and even if you don't go at all for any reason - it wouldn't be the end of the world. there must be a lot of pressure rn for you but so much of it is just,,, bullshit. hindsight will allow you to see that. just gotta let yourself get to that point by living the natural solutions to your worries, and getting by a day at a time. when that feels like too much, an hour at a time. you're obviously still young as hell and your future is so much wider than your brain is allowing you to see. i promise! above all though, keep in mind that there are people to talk to and countless resources out there whenever you're struggling - whether it's at school, or in your community or your family, or through your doctor - there is always someone to turn to and always a way forward. the biggest trick of mental illness is that it convinces you otherwise, but it's a notorious liar. so. try not to self isolate even when the urge is there, and done be afraid to talk about what's going on in your head. let it be embarrassing. block everything else out and look at what will make you feel happier with your own existence from an objective perspective. cause that's all that matters really. anyway i'm wishing you so much luck with your final year and whatever happens, i hope you make some decent memories :) be sure to cut yourself some slack when possible. remember, the desicion is yours, no matter what. sending a lot of love to you!! let me know if you need a friend or want to walk more about it. (also goddess of wisdom sfhjhsdhh im a whole dumbass but. thank you lil peach 💞)

[heraldshaka]

Top Right: November 2013. Dear Journal, Its been a while so Im going to do a long update. Number one Dad is gone. Hes in prison cause he stole a boat, totalled two perfectly good cars, tried to kill mom in a drunken rampage and drunk driving. Honestly I say good ridance. Joel has a girlfriend now. Brooke WInn. I was pretty pissed for a while because she was the first girl I ever had a crush on and the first girl to give me her number. But after accidently seeing a picture of a conversation between them to (It seriously was an accident) I can see that she really likes Joel and Joel really likes her. As suspected now Joel has had his first kiss, date, and girlfriend. I’ve honestly wanted to do these things for a while largely out of curiosity but I decided to wait until I’m at least 15 years old. Speaking of age, I wrote a letter to my 30 year old self. Anyways my huge passion for the past year has been film making. Unfortunately I dont have the neccesary equipment nor a Job to earn some money but I think I want to do film making for the rest of my life. Me and Josh have been doing a lot of spear fishing recently but I am yet to kill a fish. Something I forgot to mention about Joel’s girfriend, another reason I’m not angry is because I decided long ago I would wait until at least 15 to start dating so I was never going to make a move but Joel did so It’s not like he stole her because she was nevermine. as of the rest of the family, Bria 

Bottom left:  is dating Thomas kreuser now, Josh is playing dating ping-pong with Lydia and its really mean. Lydia’s looking for something serious and Josh is a horn dog. Joel has a phone now and wont stop texting or calling Brooke. Josh, Bia and mom are rarely family interactive any more. Baylee still takes pretty much anything she can lay her sticky paw on but she is a bit more respectful. Jonah has becom “that  little brother”., The kind you NEVER want around friends. Something applicable to all the little kids is that their absolutely disgusting and bossy. Brenna is pretty disobedient but still not as roudy as Jonah or Brooke. Brooke is even more annoying as she was. Whinnes about everything, disgusting, STILL craps her pants and is insanely disobedient. As for me, I’ve fallen in love with music and film making. I take most of the house responsibility. I try to keep it clean and in control but usually end up just hiding out in my bedroom when ever I get a chance. I don’t play much video games any more. Over the past year I have matured a lot but I can rarely noticibly show it because to all my friends I’m the funny guy which is usually fine but sometimes I really wish I could just open up. I got to the farmer’s market alot now and now Jesse is my best friend. He’s very funny, honest, trustworthy. Which I can truly respect and I can’t say yo pretty much any of my friends. Me and Josh work out now so thats cool. But stil I spend most of my time listening to music and thinking about filming.

Bottom Right: Christmas is in a month and a half and if I could get just one peice of film equipment I need to start I would be happy. There is nothing I currently want more than to start filming and directing videos. I’ve done some drawings which I’m a little bit proud of, but I’ve also thought up this big animated TV series. Like the next Avatar: The last airbender which is my favorite TV series ever. I was thinking about having three nations and one kind of secret nation. The protagonist is a young teenageer I haven’t thought up a good name yet but hafter his entire family is killed a few years before due to the war between teh three main nations, he sets out for revenge on the people, specifically everyone who was in that squadron who killed his family, he begin’s to learn the powers of one of the nations the ncomes upon a clue suggesting that the powers of each nation which are believed to be a birth right to only some people of their nation, can actually be learned by anyone. Throughtout the rest of his Journey he comes across a new companion of each nation and begins to learn each of the powers which are Light which is used by a peolpe of monks, Necrocity like using darkness or even the dead as weapons and Nature. The power of having control over living plants and sometimes even subdue animals. Theres a lot more to it that I’m not going to get into so I’m signing out for now.

Left: Nov, 2013. Dear Journal. Today I’m going to go very in depth about something I haven’t told anyone. Joel’s girlfriend, Brooke Winn. I REALLY like her. In my last entry I said it didn’t bother me anymore but it does. I know I said I wont even try to get a girlfriend until I’m at least fifteen and I stand by it. But yesterday she came over to our house for 6 hours right after she hung out with us at the market an I saw first hand how much they care about one another and they really do. But it sucks for me because I still really like her. Plus I met her first, got her number first and I still remember so much about her. Her birthday is in march, her favorite movie is Clockwork Orange, she’s a vegetarian because her brother dared her to do it for a few months and she just went with it after that, she likes Avatar and Pewdiepie just like me, she wants to go into the navy when she’s older, her favorite video game is League of Legends. Also without me, Joel and her might never have met. I remember all this and some more because for a while I kinda thought we had something special. Now shes dating my brother and I may never know if we did. Last night was the worst night of my life because I spent all night avoiding the girl of my dreams because shes dating my brother. Is it just a little crush that will blow away eventually? Maybe. but when I’m around her, when I read some of the things her and Joel say to eachother, it feels like a lot more than a silly crush.

Left: Dec 3, 2013. Dear Journal, well I have obtained some very shocking information. Whilst Joel was playing League of Legends he tabbed out to face book where he had been messaging Brooke Winn and I noted she said “I love you too.” As said before, I really like Brooke in more than a friendly way and I promised myself I wont try to get a girlfriend until I’m minimum 15. Probably not until I have my license but I can’t help but wonder “Did she ever have feelings for me?” Because I taught her how to dance, she  gave me her number. The swing after we spent nearly 2 hours just talking and dancing. Obviously I never made a move but I always had feelings for her. It’s very possible that she was waiting for me to make a move and got impatient. That almost happened to Joel but he made a move and now They’re in love and I wonder “What if?” What if I made a move? Would we be dating now or would she have turned me down and then we’d be akward acquantices? I can’t help but wonder.

Right: Dec 14, 2013. Dear Journal, Today we have Brooke and Thomas over (Bria and Tom are dating) for this tree decoration crap and I realize its getting easier for me to be around Brooke Winn. I still have feelings for her but due to my resistance I can be a little easier around her. But it’s still pretty weird because Joel knows I like/liked her so we rarely get to talk Just me and her. And when we do its hard for me to think of a conversation topic because all I can think of around her is the fact shes dating my Brother! It sucks so badly especially beecause I do still like her and she is DATING MY BROTHER! Its a terrible feeling but one I’m going to have to live with. Part 2. Well I have concluded Dec 14 2013 and it sucks. Yesterday was cool but today I spent 3hrs at a parade. But is that enough? Oh no! Throughout that time I simply stood idly by while Joel and Brooke continuosly made out and cuddled throughout that time. Thomas hasn’t turned into a fag due to his relationship like Joel which is good so we hang out a good bit but it still ended with me as a 5th wheel.