#at home food intolerance test

[medilifehomecare]

Food Intolerance Test in Dubai

Medilife Healthcare Services LLC is a reliable ally, offering comprehensive food intolerance testing and individualized care. With their dedication to perfection, they enable people to take charge of their health and enjoy every moment without the discomfort of food intolerances.

[forgotten-daydreamer]

why is it that every time i eat anything my belly hurts >:( i'm gonna need you to stop doing that right fucking now.

[4uhealth]

Discover Your Food Sensitivities with an At-Home Food Intolerance Test

Are you tired of experiencing unexplained digestive issues, skin rashes, or fatigue after eating certain foods? You may be suffering from a food intolerance test , a condition that affects millions of people worldwide. In this blog, we will delve into the world of food sensitivity testing, exploring what it is, how it works, and how you can conduct a food sensitivity test at home.

[haledhometest]

Benefits of buying home medical tests

If you are someone who fears visiting a doctor, then the at home testing option is great for you as there are numerous benefits of using testing kits at home. Testing kits at home are nothing new as they have been used for many years. Not everyone has access  to health insurance or lives close to a doctor's office. Many times people cannot go to an urgent care clinic that is more affordable as compared to a hospital. If you live in the Suburban area then visiting a doctor in the city can be quite difficult. This is why at home medical testing kits can be ordered online and used to perform any medical tests that are required. These tests are quite convenient as you don't have to take off from work and wait for a long time to see the doctor. When you use a home testing kit you don't have to leave your house as you can order your test online and take the test at home.

You can get instant results and can then visit the doctor if required. Testing at home is quite reasonable as compared to a visit to the doctor. While at-home medical kits are convenient, discreet and accessible. If you have a doubt about a disease, it is better to perform an at-home test and then if needed visit a doctor or seek advice online. At-home testing kits are becoming a big part of the healthcare system and have captured a lot of interest after the covid-19 pandemic. At-home tests are now available in a wide variety and are offered online by numerous companies. However, it is important to buy from a trustable supplier. It provides customers and patients with more options than ever before. These kits can help you avoid contact with others when you have communicable diseases as you will not have to leave home to get yourself tested. At-home test kits are used for numerous reasons like diagnosis of a health condition and infectious diseases like Covid-19. There are also home test-kits for diseases like diabetes that can help monitor blood sugar easily.

There are home test kits to perform food intolerance tests in case you feel you are allergic to certain types of foods.  These kits are widely available nowadays online and these over-the-counter tests are delivered right to your doorstep. The kit includes all the instructions for collecting and testing the sample. All you have to do is follow the instructions carefully using the materials in the kit. If you are unsure about how to take the test, then talk to the customer care about your queries. Haled is an organisation that offers doorstep delivery of home food sensitivity test kits, along with numerous other self-test kits, so order your kits and perform the tests from the proximity of your home. Order your self-test kits online easily to diagnose yourself from diseases that you might feel you have and then visit the doctor at your convenience.

[evisceratedplague]

50 excuses for not eating

1. You’re not hungry

2. You don’t like that certain food

3. You ate a big breakfast and are still full.

4. You’re allergic to that food

5. You ate earlier

6. You have a sore throat

7. You’re vegetarian/vegan

8. You’re saving your hunger for a big family dinner

9. You have tooth ache

10. You have stomach cramps

11. You feel sick

12. You have a stomach ache

13. You’ll eat something later

14. You have a mouth ulcer

15. You bit your tongue and it hurts too much to eat

16. You’ll eat when you get home

17. You’ll eat when you get hungry

18. You don’t have any money to buy anything

19. Invent an illness where it hurts when you eat but when you don’t it’s fine

20. You don’t feel like eating right now

21. You just ate something

22. If you have braces say you just got them tightened and they hurt

23. You’re still full from lunch

24. You have a nut allergy

25. You don’t like that food unless it has a particular sauce/dip/dressing that isn’t there

26. You’re craving one particular food which you’ll have later

27. You ate too much earlier

29. You ate all your food and have none left

30. You can’t be bothered right now

31. You’re fasting for religious reasons

32. You ate with someone else

33. You need to finish your homework

34. You need to finish studying

35. You’re busy doing something ‘important’

36. You have an intolerance to a kind of food

37. You want to go for a run later and don’t want a full stomach

38. You forgot your lunch

39. You forgot to bring a snack with you

40. You overate earlier

41. There was a bake sale earlier and you’re stuffed

42. You’re going out to eat later

43. You ate out earlier

44. Your doctor put you on a special diet

45. Your dietitian put you on a special diet

46. You’re fasting because you have a fasting blood test soon

47. You don’t want anything right now

48. You’re taking part in a famine

49. You don’t have time to eat

50. Nothing looks appealing

[tragedy-of-commons]

"You're burning up" + Aventurine?

"You're burning up."

Aventurine doesn't know what else to say, so he goes with those three words. Safe bet - the doting parents in all the movies and sitcoms say it just like that; with care and worry, palm splayed out across the ill's forehead.

And holy hell are you ill.

Collapsed on his lavish sofa, you groan in response, swatting his hand away. "I'm gonna be just fine..."

He's inclined to disagree. You're sweating buckets despite how he'd mashed the thermostat down to its limit - he even had to shrug on a jacket. Perhaps Aventurine would have poked fun at you for your intolerance, but he has enough decorum to hold his tongue. He really doesn't like seeing you so put out, as much as you're welcome to crash here.

"Your poker face could use some work. Save your words, we can hang out another time," he dismisses easily, bracing himself for your incoming opposition. He reluctantly breaks away from your side to amble over to the coffee table, beginning to clean up the remnants of game night.

"No way," in the corner of his eye, he notices you shifting restlessly, "finals are coming up. Won't have time after this..."

Aventurine sighs, sweeping his very nice clay chips into one hand while using the other to click open their case. This time of year, things become almost unbearably hectic. He has exams coming up in a few weeks himself, and though he never needs to study, he always adheres to your modus operandi of 'cram now, cry later'.

"Well, you're not going back to those dorms in that state."

"You sound like a dickhead," you murmur. "You think I wanna live there? Shitty thin walls... shitty dining hall food..."

He chuckles, snapping the case shut and dusting his hands of nonexistent dust. "You're cruder than usual when you're feverish."

Aventurine almost startles when you gasp. "I have a fever?!"

...and you're loopy, too.

He gets you to sit still with the promise of retrieving a fever reducer and some water. Aventurine roots through his bathroom cabinets, combing through his own extensive collection of self-care and skin products to reach where he keeps his medication.

It takes several minutes of crouching down on the tile for him to realize he doesn't have any. He clicks his tongue - well, it seems his own lifestyle has backfired on him once again. Aventurine doesn't get sick often, doesn't spend a lot of time at home, and has enough stubborn resilience to power through any ailment that might plague him.

But for you? The only reason he spends any time at all in this stupidly expensive penthouse?

Yeah, he'll make a quick trip to the drugstore.

When he walks back into the living room with his shoes on and wallet in his pocket, his heart warms. You've somehow slipped into an upside down position, hair spilling over the edge of the cushions. You somehow make it look comfortable, eyes closed and brow free of any creases.

"Does that help your sinuses?" he asks, really only to test if you're awake.

"You smell good..."

Aventurine ignores how those words make him feel, eyeing the door (and where your shoes are lined up neatly against the wall).

"I have to restock on Tylenol," he swallows. "Will you be okay by yourself?"

"Yes," you respond coherently this time.

Before he departs, he cajoles you into another position in case you throw up like that and end up choking - not without some strangely endearing complaints that you'd normally never voice, positive thing you are.

He doesn't get to the inside mat before you pipe up again, making him stop in his tracks.

"C'mere," you cough. "Please, humor a dying star's last wish..."

He really should be going so he can get your temperature down quicker, but leaving you on the sofa while you're about to cough up a lung strikes him as cruel. Aventurine gives into your dramatics - which happen to perfectly align with his own at times - and makes his way over to you.

"What is it? Did I forget something?" he sits down on the armrest, perching there with perfect balance. When you don't respond immediately, an odd little expression on your face, he rests his chin on his fist, pensive.

You hum.

He doesn't expect much; a request for another pillow, a plea for him to turn on a movie for you while he's out. Instead, he's caught off-guard as you throw an arm around his waist and pull, effectively whisking him off the high ground and right into your grasp.

Aventurine initially tenses but settles as you nuzzle closer. You're the only person in the world that can get away with loving him so easily.

"M'sorry I got sick on game night..." you whisper, uncaring that you're spreading your sickness (and your homely oxytocin).

He finds himself not caring much either.

"Do you believe me to be that hung up on you catching a cold?"

Aventurine's heart rabbits cruelly - he's sure you can hear it, with the way you're snuggled against him and whatnot, but maybe he'll get lucky like he always has, and you'll remain oblivious and perfect and unbothered, despite what you do to him.

You sniffle, words thick with exhaustion. "I dunno. Just stay."

He can't. Not just because he has to go pick up that Tylenol, but because he feels like he might die if you keep saying things like that.

"Five minutes," he acquiesces.

Aventurine waits for your celebration of victory, but no such thing comes. You're fast asleep, clinging to him like he's worth something.

He stays for a lot longer than five minutes, only wriggling out of your arms when he's sure you won't wake up to find him gone. When he returns later with his spoils (which also just so happen to include your favorite drink), you're cradling a pillow in his place.

Before Aventurine is your boyfriend or lover, he is a liar.

He is most definitely, unequivocally, one hundred percent hung up on you.

🏷️: @akutasoda, @aviiarie, @lowkeyren

a/n: modern au because i couldn't possibly resist. just wanted to mention here that u guys absolutely killed it with these quotes. you have my gratitude! also why is he like that. soggy wet cat

event post here

[universalthaumaturge]

Nobilis Dash Simulator

❤️‍🔥 theworkofhellisholy Follow

i love you shipping discourse i love you having to make accounts for everything i love you small talk i love you esophageal cancer i love you deforestation i love you scabs you can't help but pick even though you're not supposed to i love you scabs as in strikebreakers i love you unbearably hot weather in winter i love you people who film strangers in public without their consent i love you prion disease i love you car-based infrastructure i love you gallstones i love you stock market i love you enshittification i lov

36 notes

🌳 sneacensnoveonthesnorldsnash Follow

just ate an elfsciene panini for the first time and cried i love u world

🌺 flore7 Follow

i'm dying of cake so i can't really eat it without being crushed to death by a giant cake mountain but aelfscienne's is so good i don't even care anymore LOL

🌳 sneacensnoveonthesnorldsnash Follow

i want you carnally

🪲 lord-entropy-official Follow

Why do I even bother anymore.

607,789 notes

🐶 surolam Follow

Remember to use miracles responsibly! There has been a surprising increase in dementia animus cases lately.

lakedrinker10000-deactivated60231212

and what if we don't?

👨‍⚖️ locourtbailiff Follow

oh thats simple! TEN THOUSAND LOCUST ATTACK 🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗

12,144 notes

🕵️ illegalregal Follow

ok i know we're meant to "enact vengeance no more than sevenfold unto their crime" or whatever but what the fuck does that MEAN????

🕵️ illegalregal Follow

like, if an excrucian eats the leftovers i had on my fridge, do i eat their food? do i punch them (but softly enough that it's not over 7x as worse as having your leftovers stolen!)?? is there a conversion guide somewhere. how the hell do you MEASURE that?????

7 notes

🦑 yog-sazasthur Follow

Kids these days TOO FOCUS on their damned CELL-PHONES..... They should be Eating... Having Sex... And Wriggling !

30,054 notes

👽 prescottsdaddy Follow

do you think cneph and harumaph ever explored eachother's bodies

cneph Follow

we did

👽 prescottsdaddy Follow

dude's literally roleplaying as the great maker and the angels in the notes are calling ME blasphemous???

90,732 notes

☠️ chattering-monkeys-and-parrots Follow

kys. just in general

🧍‍♂️ the-light-is-perfection Follow

excuse you???

☠️ chattering-monkeys-and-parrots Follow

kys in particular

281,667 notes

👼 graceful-invader Follow

guys the voice of the creator is telling me we should kiss eachother with tounge. this is what heaven needs

733,712 notes

🔨 warry-in-main Follow

just did my first tempering and it turns out the dude was lactose intolerant

🐻 peregrine-twink Follow

aw man that sucks. is there anything we can do to help?

🔨 warry-in-main Follow

take my test boy

1,907 notes

🧸 dailydahlia Follow

Why do people still think i'm a mimic?!

#seriously guys! #longfurby is RIGHT THERE.

1 note

💠 itfuckenwildy Follow

god i fucking hate it here

🎩 qistjannuja Follow

Hate? No no no my enemy, you don't "hate" creation. Not really.

Let me tell you about actual hate. Pure, undiluted, wyrdbound Hate.

I was ROYALTY. I ruled over my lands with a kind hand and an iron fist and we THRIVED. But then, the little prick you call a maker fucking drowned it all in… in THIS. This grimy, glitched, causational mess you dare to call home.

If that was it, I'd be pissed. I'd be furious, even. But that's not all.

It had the AUDACITY to poison me with its substance. I physically can't stay in the void because it leaks out and poisons it too. And when I come back, guess what? It kills me. Over and over and over and over. I've died five times this month. Died of HORSES. Imagine getting stampeded on just for daring to exist, **WHICH I DON'T BY THE WAY**.

And you know what? if that was it, I could take it. If that was it, I would just take the L and try to adapt. I would try to find beauty in the world, you know? stop and smell the flowers? But GUESS WHAT. Your "great maker" DIDN'T EVEN MAKE THE WORLD RIGHT. It's all... eugh.

I can't stand the creation simps who try to defend it but HARUMAPH-MY-WITNESS I FUCKING DESPISE the ones who think they hate it more than me. YOU DON'T. Fuck you. I'll world-breaker's hand you. Bitch.

💠 itfuckenwildy Follow

nvm i love it here. where else would you get shit like this

🎭 gaathika-aupa-yochelm Follow

"i'll world-breaker's hand you. bitch." LMAOOO i bet this dumbass doesn't even have the drunkard's gift

🎩 qistjannuja Follow

It's none of your fucking business, ""Aupa"", and besides, it seems you don't understand what an ANALOGY is.

"World-Breaker's Handing" someone is simply meant to imply utterly and retroactively erasing them, something your deceiveroid intellect probably wouldn't comprehend anyways.

I am a Votary in my Dream-of-Self and a Dustcloak of my Sphere, I don't need some paltry Wyrd-trick to kill either of you.

🎭 gaathika-aupa-yochelm Follow

🌌 not-heritage-posts Follow

Not-Heritage Post

124,801 notes

🌸 botanyhellyeah Follow

my gf mde fun of me bc i cant open the jar of pickle but shes a supernal martialart master and im jsut a little motal i'm not even miraculous in natures

🧘‍♂️ zulander Follow

Rosie, sweetheart, do you remember the miraculous bracers you made? the ones with the oak leaves, that make you as strong as a noble when you say the command word? the ones you're wearing right now?

🌸 botanyhellyeah Follow

FUFK

25,678 notes

👥 weamlegion0015 Follow

normalize consuming peolpe and incorporating them into the unliving matrix of your pseudoself! ^u^

🪀 jojotun Follow

Are you an actual

👥 weamlegion0015 Follow.

no what makes u say that? :P

🪀 weamlegion0016 FOLLOW.

aah it was nohting! my bad XD

20 notes

🤫 iolithae Follow

this joke format is still funny and relevant

5 notes

👚 dionylsus Follow

look it's not a sex thing when i pretend to be a set of human clothes and my partner wears me to the movies, ok? we do it so we don't have to pay two tickets. putting me in the washing machine IS a sex thing though

120 notes

cneph Follow

can someone please get me out of this fiddle. the wi-fi is great but i can't stretch without getting splinters

0 notes

🌟 ananda Follow

I might have accidentally let a few urbana escape into the prosaic. Stay safe out there.

141,235,813 notes

👨 im-an-anchor-you-wankor Follow

WHY THE FUCK IS MY TRASH CAN BITING ME

[myetherealexistence]

List of excuses

Not mine, found on WordPress but i found It rly helpful and thought I'd share <3333

You’re not hungry

You don’t like that certain food

You ate a big breakfast and are still full.

You’re allergic to that food

You ate earlier

You have a sore throat

You’re vegetarian/vegan

You’re saving your hunger for a big family dinner

You have tooth ache

You have stomach cramps

You feel sick

You have a stomach ache

You’ll eat something later

You have a mouth ulcer

You bit your tongue and it hurts too much to eat

You’ll eat when you get home

You’ll eat when you get hungry

You don’t have any money to buy anything

Invent an illness where it hurts when you eat but when you don’t it’s fine

You don’t feel like eating right now

You just ate something

If you have braces say you just got them tightened and they hurt

You’re still full from lunch

You have a nut allergy

You don’t like that food unless it has a particular sauce/dip/dressing that isn’t there

You’re craving one particular food which you’ll have later

You ate too much earlier

You ate all your food and have none left

You can’t be bothered right now

You’re fasting for religious reasons

You ate with someone else

You need to finish your homework

You need to finish studying

You’re busy doing something ‘important’

You have an intolerance to a kind of food

You want to go for a run later and don’t want a full stomach

You forgot your lunch

You forgot to bring a snack with you

You overate earlier

There was a bake sale earlier and you’re stuffed

You’re going out to eat later

You ate out earlier

Your doctor put you on a special diet

Your dietitian put you on a special diet

You’re fasting because you have a fasting blood test soon

You don’t want anything right now

You’re taking part in a famine

You don’t have time to eat

Nothing looks appealing

[trtlebuns]

Who would’ve thought?

Random things about T141 + Alejandro & Köing

Tags: Fluff and cursing (maybe?)

Alejandro Vargas

my man my man my man!!!!

Alejandro HATES!!! Spicy foods, even though he is Mexican and grew up in a Mexican household he CANNOT handle anything spicy

Wakes up at 6:45 everyday

His comfort clothing includes: a tank top or T-shirt with grey joggers and black/socks

He would often cook the meals (very house husband of him)

Hates alcoholic beverages, like he’ll drink them but won’t enjoy them

Favorite color is: Rosewood Pink

Favorite ice cream flavor is strawberry

He doesn’t wear cologne

He takes his skin care VERY serious

When he’s angry or excited he would talk in his native tongue

Will call out of work if his hair isn’t “hairing”

Likes to kiss you on the forehead near your edges

Likes to watch you get dressed

Wants to have a big family

If he could be any cartoon character he would be Milo from fish hooks

Has a tattoo of your initial behind his ear

Köing

Listens to lofi and jazz

A light sleeper

Hates pickles

Wears his mask in public but at home he wears a big sweater with a large hood to hide most of his face (specifically a deep purple sweater)

Likes all of the avengers movies and if one is coming out he would buy tickets in advance (like 3-6 months in advance)

Likes strawberry milk but is severely lactose intolerant

Hates raisins but likes grapes

His comfort outfit would be: at home, a onesie to match yours or if in public ( like he goes out there willingly) would be a hoodie and joggers with crocs

Enjoys putting on his eye makeup while you do your makeup

Still doesn’t know what “beat this face to the gods” mean, even though you only say it when you do your makeup

Is happy with being with you and having a cat or two (or any small animal of your choice)

Prefers to eat ketchup with anything

Likes sardines

Likes to hug you from the back

Favorite color is: Mulberry Purple

He wears your initial as a chain

Has a dad sneeze

GHOST (Simon Riley)

Hates anything super sweet or sweeting in general

Prefers coffee (black) over tea, but would drink it if it’s the only thing around

He likes pumpkin spice lattes (yes he’s a basic bi- brit 🫣)

Secretly adds weapons to you car every time he gets in it

Like why do you have a knife in your cup holder?? How did that get there, you wonder

Orders steak every time you guys eat out anywhere “fancy”

Wears a face mask when he’s out

Your nickname for him is “beady eyed brit”

Only kisses you on the cheek and the temple

He rolls his eyes at everything

“Omg mon, you didn’t have to get me this??” You said happily as you hugged Simon. “I wouldn’t have gotten it, if you didn’t stop pestering me about it” He sighed and rolled his eyes knowing that he would buy you the world if you only mentioned it once

He loves peppermints

He likes to watch you…just do you

You’re in the kitchen? Boom, he’s leaning on the fridge watching you. You’re in the bathroom fixing your hair, Boom, he’s sitting on the toilet seat just staring. You’re walking around talking on the phone? Boom, he’s right there in arms distance listening and watching you. Just watching

He listens to classical music

Comfort fit: anything that’s lying on the floor closest to him or anything that seems comfy to him, could be shorts and a shirt or joggers and topless as long as he’s comfy he don’t care

Prefers to be just with you but wouldn’t mind stretching the family

He likes to skip rocks

He knows how to skateboard

Weirdly obsessed with peanut butter because of the “protein”

Favorite color is: Juniper Green

He goes makeup shopping with you because you need to know what type of eye makeup he wears that lasts through literal war

SOAP (Johnny Mactavish)

Hates coconut flavored anything! It could artificial or down to the real deal he HATES IT

Likes to yell at the tv

Must take a bite of your food, it doesn’t matter if you both have the same thing or not. He needs a bite and his reasoning is “I’m testing for poison”

Get you a man who CARES!

Would rate your burps out of 10

Let’s you paint his nails

He spills the tea and so do you

Johnny bursts through the door, and started you “BIIIIIIITCH!!!” Johnny says as he shakes his head walks towards you, you already know the tea is piping HOT! “Let me tell you what price done said over the phone just now” he says as he props down on the bed and you get into a sitting position “I’m all ears babe” you get ready for the most juiciest information of you life

Likes to pee/shit while you’re in the bathroom (it’s his favorite activity)

He rock climbs for a hobby

Favorite color is: Coin Silver

Always calls and never text in advance that he needs to talk

Comfort outfit: pajama bottoms, bunny slippers, and topless or a tanktop

Likes to sleep in cold temperatures

Tackles you with hugs and kisses whenever he sees you

You’re on the phone trying to pay a bill? Boom, he’s right next to you kissing your head and hugging you from the back. You’re trying to get ready for work? Boom, you’re making out and now you gotta call off work…AGAIN!

Listens to a lot of Megan thee stallion because he heard you playing thot shit

Hates the texture of cottage cheese

He’s a horrible cook and so are you, but you both try your best and end up ordering out

Likes to throw things at you and act as if he had no idea what you’re talking about when you ask if he threw something at you

“Ow, what the fu-“ you say as you scratch your head and look at the ground and see an orange crayon on the floor. You look up and see Johnny at the table with a coloring book and crayons “J did you just throw this at me” you question as you raise the crayon. He looks and you and you look at him… “I have no idea what you’re talking about” he says calmly as he goes back to coloring. You sigh, “then how did this get over here?” You roll your eyes and put your hand on your hip. “It must’ve been already over there” he shrugs while continuing his activity with a small smirk pulling at his lips

Likes to eat haggis ( Scottish bastard )

Knows how to play the flute

He would like to have 3 kids and 2 dogs (specifically a Rottweiler and Doberman)

[fortheloveoffanfic]

Prettier When You're Mine

Dark!Andy Barber x Reader

Author’s Note: Two more chapters on this one

Summary: One year into working with a young, bright and beautiful junior prosecutor, Y/n, who bears an almost uncanny resemblance to Andy’s late wife, Laurie, he finds himself developing feelings for her. Though, when she brushes off his advances, Andy proves that he’ll do whatever it takes to recreate his family.

Disclaimer: 18+ This work contains dark themes, including stalking, dub-con, infidelity and manipulation. Read at your own discretion.

Masterlist Playlist Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Weeks after her visit to Andy's house, Y/n makes an unsettling discovery and Andy reveals an even more sinister truth Warning: mentions of forced sex, mentions of stalking, possessiveness, mentions of pregnancy

Twelve weeks Later

Food poisoning. Stress. A newly developed food intolerance. Some sort of undiagnosed illness. 

Off all the things that could have caused the wave of symptoms she’d been experiencing, two faint, pink lines on a little plastic stick was the last place Y/n figured she’d find her reasoning. Holding the edge of the bathroom counter in a white knuckled grip, she shut her eyes and bent her head. Sniffling softly, she felt a slow, warm trickle down her cheeks and it was a task in itself to quiet her sobs.  

It wasn’t possible- it wasn't supposed to be possible. 

Unless-

“Babe?” A knock on the locked bathroom door made Y/n jump, and hastily wiping at her eyes, she checked her reflection over while emitting a sound of encouragement. “I’m almost ready to leave-”

“Already?” After capping the test and shoving it into the waistband of the back of her pants, she pulled the door open abruptly, causing James- who had been leaning on it- to stumble forward a little. “I didn’t realize it was seven already.”

He glanced at his watch and flashed her a look of concern, “Its actually seven thirty,” reaching out, he cupped the side of her face and she tried to smile, hoping that the sting in her eyes would wait till he’d left. “You’re still sick?” He frowned deeply and then chuckled halfheartedly as he teased, “I thought you were better, you had half a pizza last night.”

Swallowing thickly, Y/n smiled faintly and laid her hand on his forearm, “I’m fine,” she lied. It was hard to keep it together, but the last thing Y/n wanted was to have to explain everything to James when she could hardly make sense of it all herself. “Its just um…my hair is being uncooperative.”

He didn’t look like he believed her, but played along anyway, “Looks great to me,” he bent his head a little too swipe a kiss off her lips. When he pulled away, James searched her eyes and furrowed his brows, “You’re sure that you’re okay?” He moved his hand to slip two fingers under her chin, “Because if you want to stay home, I’ll stay with you or-”

“I’m fine,” Y/n forced herself to smile, “Go to work,” she tiptoed and kissed him again. 

He sighed, “Alright. Alright. And you’re sure you don’t want a ride?” Y/n shook her head in refusal, already deciding that she had other plans and wanting to get out of her current situation as soon as possible. “Okay,” his smile faltered, “Well I’ll see you later.”

“Yeah,” Y/n blinked quickly, barely holding it together, it was getting harder to lie to him by the second, and all she wanted was a few minutes to break down in peace, “Later.” 

“Love you,” James said softly before kissing her one last time, and with a subtle, unnoticed break in her voice, Y/n returned; 

“Love you too.”

Later that day

Letting out a long, slow breath, Y/n wrung her hands together. She was shaking in her shoes and barely holding it together; it felt like her whole life was falling apart while she’d been reduced to nothing more than a powerless spectator.

She was late to work that morning, having impulsively decided to detour to a local women’s clinic. A free one that time so she wouldn’t have to use insurance or her banking information- the last thing she needed was James finding out about it from anyone but her. It, up to the minute she’d seen the little grainy image on the blueish screen, Y/n had taken to calling the baby in her belly ‘it’. Because it wasn’t possible; it wasn’t supposed to be there. It was going to ruin everything. 

But then she’d seen it and within a second, everything had changed. She fell in love. 

And she was so scared of that love. 

The nurse at the clinic had been alarmed by her very expressive outburst; loud wailing and messy tears. She’d asked if something had happened to put her in that situation, if she needed to see a social worker or wanted a pamphlet on termination. Y/n had refused both. 

“Okay,” Y/n exhaled heavily, touching her lower stomach, “Let’s do this.” 

Another breath. 

Clenching her fist so tight she could feel her nails leaving crescent shaped bruises on her palms, Y/n knocked on the door. She would have just gone in, she wanted to, but Y/n also wanted to prolong her final moments spent in denial. 

“Come in.”

Another breath. A bigger one. 

Turning the knob, Y/n crept inside and shut the door behind herself. Her throat suddenly felt dry and when he looked up from his work, and when he flashed her an unsuspecting, innocent gaze she felt rage boil in her center. They hadn’t talked about what had happened at his house, Andy for one had seemed to have forgotten, making Y/n wonder if he’d been that drunk. 

She’d even started wondering if it had all been a dream because how could he forget when she thought about it everyday? 

“Y/n,” he folded his arms, “You’re-”

Late. For a lot of things. 

“I know,” she cut him off hastily, “We need to talk.”

It might have been her tone, or just the weight of her words, but Andy sat up straighter, relaxing into the back of his chair and knitted his brows. Frowning, he asked, “What is it?” Y/n hesitated, and he though he encouraged her to sit, she remained standing, “Sweetheart if you don’t-”

“Please don’t call me that,” she cut him off hastily, shaking her head, “You have no idea-” Her voice broke with emotion and she sniffled loudly.

"Hey," Andy crooned, standing and crossing the floor to come near her. Though, when he reached to touch her face, Y/n filched, and his jaw tightened in response. With a scoff, he raised his hands in mock surrender and stepped away to lean on the edge of a bureau against the wall while she lingered near the chairs at his desk

Peeved by his reaction but still crippled with anxiety, Y/n whispered, “This is really important.”

“I wouldn’t know, you haven’t told me yet,” he shrugged and she wasn't sure if his disregard was coming from his annoyance with her or just the fact that he seemed to enjoy seeing her vulnerable. When she still didn’t speak, Andy started again, “I want to help you, but-”

“I’m pregnant,” she blurted out, refusing to look at him. 

Andy huffed, straightening his back as his grip on the edge of cupboard loosened, “Congratulations.”

Lifting her head, her jaw dropped when she realized his apparent amusement, “No, you don’t understand,” Y/n explained in a panic, “I’m twelve weeks pregnant and....." For a moment, she considered telling him about James' infertility, but Y/n didn't think she wanted him to know that much about her personal life. "It doesn't matter," she shook her head, "You're probably the father." Most likely.

Andy scoffed a chuckle, “I know. How's that for your ten percent?” 

Her lips quivered and Y/n felt like the room was spinning. As heavy breaths threatened to turn into a full on panic attack, she reached for the back of the closest chair for support. “What?”

“I know,” Andy repeated, licking his lips before he stood, slipping his hands into the pockets of his black trousers, “I know...everything. About James; the accident and his……little problem.”

Slapping her hand to her mouth, Y/n emitted a choked sob. “Oh my god,” her words were muffled into her palm, “You knew.” Andy came to stand behind her, laying one hand on her shoulder while the other snaked around to flatten on her stomach. There wasn’t a visible bump there yet, but there was a distinct firmness that she’d only started noticing earlier the last week.

“Don’t touch me,” as a whirlpool of emotions engulfed her, Y/n shoved him off, “How did you know?” 

A car wreck when he was sixteen temporarily left James paralyzed from the waist down and had permanently left him unable to have children. He’d been up front about the whole thing when they’d first started getting serious, and they’d even had a battery of tests run after they’d moved in together, just to be sure. For years, Y/n had promised, him and herself, that she didn’t care that they would never have biological children, and for years, it was true. She was okay with it being just the two of them for the rest of their lives, she was okay with adoption if they ever decided to have children.

But then she’d seen that couple at the doctor’s office and the most intense mixture of jealousy and heartbreak had overwhelmed her to the point of wondering if she actually was okay with never being able to get pregnant, or if she was just going along with it because she loved him. 

“Give a dirty cop three thousand dollars and he’ll show you the world,” Andy taunted, reaching out to touch her face and clicking his tongue when she slapped his hand away, “You don’t have to be upset, I'm giving you what you want.” 

“I didn’t want it like this!” She laid a hand over her stomach protectively, “You can’t do this to me, I’ll-”

“You’ll what?” Andy stepped forward to box her in, “Have a abortion? I know you don’t want that, else you wouldn’t be here right now. And don't you think for a second that you’re gonna pass my baby off as his.”

“Who’s to say you can stop me from doing either?”

The thought had crossed her mind when she determined that Andy was her baby’s father; she could lie to James and let him think they’d run into a miracle, or she could have an abortion at the women’s clinic and move on with her life. But Andy was right, she wanted that baby and lying to James for the rest of their lives wasn’t something she could bring herself to do. Their relationship had been built on trust and honesty, if they raised that child together and he somehow found out that it wasn’t his, he’d be devastated and everything they had would be ruined. 

And Andy deserved to know that he had a baby out there, at least, that was the fact that Y/n had convinced herself of on the cab ride over to the office. 

In an instant, Andy had her by the neck, holding her against the door. His grip wasn't tight enough to completely cut off her air, but it was firm and hurt. “You won’t,” Andy snarled, letting her throat go in favor of grabbing the the neckline of her blouse and pulling her up to his face, “You get rid of this baby and I will fucking kill you,” he shoved her against the door again, eliciting a frightened gasp, “And you tell him that its his, or try to run away or do whatever that brilliant little mind of yours can come up with and I will hunt you down and kill him with my bare hands. And you will never see this child again.”

“Why are you doing this?” She shuddered, voice quiet and scared. 

He was proving to truly be a monster. To be all the things she’d heard about him; the kind of man that could raise a murderer- because he was capable of being one himself. 

When he let her blouse go, his demeanor shifted completely. With newfound gentleness, Andy's eyes softened and he smoothed his hand over the wrinkles on her blouse. Trailing his fingers down her body he stopped to cradle the front of her hips, thumbs rubbing slow circles in the area a couple inches below her navel. “How can you ask me that?” He frowned, “I’m doing this for you- for our family. I just want our family back.”

A hitched noise contained in her throat followed the return of a thought she’d had back at his house; it was never about her. “I’m not her, I’m not Laurie.”

Andy’s long lashes fluttered as his gaze flitted to meet hers, “You’re not,” he agreed, touching her face gently, “You’re so much better. She was weak and stupid. She killed my baby boy,” he leaned his forehead against hers and while she was scared to the point of her blood running like ice water, Y/n didn't dare move away, “But you’ll protect our baby, I know it. You'll be such a good wife and an even better mother, I knew it from the moment we met.”

“I love my fiancee,” she whimpered. 

“No,” his mood shifted suddenly and Andy grabbed her by the shoulders, holding Y/n to the door, though not violently. “I see the way you look at me. You feel the same way I do,” he pressed urgently, “This is the way its supposed to be.”

“This the way you made it,” Y/n counted fearfully. 

He scoffed, bemused again, “Call it divine intervention.” Though his grip on her shoulders was bruising, Andy used his thumb to trace affectionate circles into the fabric of her coat, "Now,” his tone dropped again, “I’ve told you what happens if you make the wrong decisions. So you’re going to do as I say, and we’re going to fix this, together.”

[turbulentscrawl]

very curious abt your oc 👀...

The time is now... To preface, I made this character back in December, before Faro Lady was even teased, and I'm not willing to change Evelye's name...but for the sake of sparing confusion, I'll call her Evie most of the time.

(I'm also going to start posting some of the blurbs I've written about Evie and Luchino later.)

Warnings for canon-typical violence, cannibalism, and one mention of sex.

Evelyne Bailey, The Butcher

Age: 29 Nationality: American Likes: cicadas, needlework Dislikes: winter, mystery meat, teeth Talents: cooking, cleaning, trapping wild game Favorite Dish: Fried Okra

Test Indicators:

Selective Food Intolerance

Delusional Paranoia

emotionally starved

She is from America in Appalachia, and her backstory is loosely inspired by the Beast in the Cave.

Evelyne was an only child and her folks ran a little ranch/butchery kitchen in a small mountain town. They were sweet, generous people… Then somewhere in her youth, they made "friends" with strangers who lived further into the mountain range, and in time began killing travelers who passed through town, even going so far as to butcher, and eat them. Evelyne was young enough to not fully grasp what they were doing, and by the time she did, she felt it was too late for her to stop going along with it. Her parents grew to be dark and twisted people, and she took up running the store front due to how horrifying they'd become in appearance and behavior. As she grew older, she helped lure male travelers home for this process.

External Traits

TIDY UP

The Butcher knows how to clean up a mess. The trail left by the Butcher disappears 1.5 seconds faster. After taking damage, she leaves no trail at all for 3 seconds.

BREAD CRUMBS?

The Butcher has a bag of Remains and can use them to mislead a hunter by creating a fake trail for them to follow. At the start of a match she has enough Remains to leave a trail up to 30 meters long. This trail can persist up to 30 seconds and only one trail can exist at a time. Additionally, a new trail will activate the Hunter's tinnitus for the first five seconds after being placed. This ability can be recharged by healing teammates. Each time The Butcher heals one instance of damage, she recovers enough Remains for 10 meters of trail.

STERILIZED

Survivors healed by the Butcher have been thoroughly cleaned and leave no trail for 10 seconds.

HEMOPHOBIA

The sight of a bleeding human makes the Butcher uneasy. She heals allies 10% slower.

PERSONALITY/GENERAL HCS

Evie’s experience running a store front has made her a decent actress. She has above-average persuasion skills and can maintain a friendly facade during small talk. She flounders with deeper conversation, however, and has a tendency to shut down when asked about her pre-Europe past.

Evie’s living situation for the last few years back in Appalachia has made her paranoid of people. She believes that, since her own parents turned on her, everyone else is capable of it as well. Additionally, she’s afraid that people will try to slip her human meat for consumption without her knowledge. Evie is functionally a pescatarian; she will not eat non-fish meat that she did not hunt, butcher, and prepare herself from start to finish. (Beyond this, however, she is not a picky eater.)

Evie refuses to talk about her years in Appalachia. She’s convinced that if people knew what she did, everyone would turn on her and the manor would become her eternal hell. On some level, she thinks she’s a monster deserving of that fate. But her fear is too strong for her to test the waters.

Her paranoia has also made her very aware of physical body language. She’s only average at analyzing people’s words, but she was so used to watching her parents for signs they may attack her again, that she’s excellent at spotting tension, fear, and anger in others. She has also memorized the sounds of every hunter’s and survivor’s footsteps to identify them at a distance. Anyone familiar with paranoid behaviour will notice that she has a tendency to periodically slow down or pause completely during any noise-making activity and listen. When footsteps can be heard, she stops to identify who it is, and only resumes working when she’s determined it’s someone she trusts, or when they’ve passed.

Evie also suffers from nightmares and sudden bouts of extreme nausea.

While friendly at face-value, Evie is paranoid and distrusting of people. At the end of the day, she puts her own security and safety above anyone else's. She avoids standing within arms reach of people, and jerks away if someone leans close, as a reflex to avoid being bitten.

Her pain tolerance is a bit higher than average. Which is fortunate, because she's slightly resistance to pain-relieving medications. She's also somewhat resistant to anesthetics.

She's most comfortable with the Arms Factory and Dark Woods maps, as the taller trees and dense forests remind her a bit of home. She occasionally goes out to trap fresh meat from these maps when they're not in use--this has led to some tension with the Gamekeeper....

Evelyn's relationship with Luchino is a bit complicated. In the beginning she's nervous about him. He's polite and kind enough, but he has a quiet masculinity and bodily enhancements that make him a physical threat to her. But he's private and respectful, and Evie is emotionally and physically starved, so the door is first cracked open through casual sex. Over time, the things that first made her scared of him begin to make her feel safer around him. He's observant, and has good intuition, so he's good at anticipating and curbing Evie's paranoia bouts before they get too bad. The situation with Evil Reptilian further complicates things, as it gives Evie a window into the part of Luchino most like her parents. But at the end of the day, he might just be the bridge she needs to accept her own past and what it means for her own identity.

A Snippet of Evelyne's First Match

Evelyne could not hide from this “game” under the covers of her bed, it seemed. Though she had tried very hard to clutch her sheets, had squeezed her eyes shut until they ached, when she opened them again she was standing in an unfamiliar, forgotten church. The scene was dilapidated, dark, and dreary. If there was a sun, it was hidden behind an endless expanse of murky clouds. It was quiet, save the ominous caw of ravens outside.

Though it had taken Evelyne nearly too long to figure out what she was meant to do with a messenger bag filled with remains–bloody rags and scraps of cloth, tiny chunks of cartilage, bone, fresh offal–it was certainly coming in handy for the twists and turns of ruins. They worked well as gruesome “bread crumbs,” spiraling and coiling in confusing patterns around the crumbling ruins of the ominous church to mislead this Hunter into chasing a false injured prey. She had not so much as seen the face of the Hunter yet, but knew he or she was on-and-off her trail by the strange hammering of her heart. Sometimes she seemed to lose them entirely, thanks to those trails, but they were growing closer. Smarter, perhaps, or used to her tricks.

Another gong-like sound echoed in the distance. That was the second ‘cipher,’ she believed, which left three more to go. That seemed like too long.

Evelyne paused next to a set of lockers to catch her breath. The crackly voices of her ‘teammates’ sounded off in her earpiece with their decoding progress. For a moment, her fear seemed to ebb and Evelyne thought she might finally be in the clear.

A wave of fog suddenly surged over a wall and towards her, and before she could even wonder where it had come from, the Seer’s owl dropped down from the sky in front of her. It cut through the fog with wings like blades, and then surged off again with a screech, leaving Evelyne frozen and confused. All at once, she was hit with the feeling that she was in greater danger, that her enemy had just gotten stronger somehow, and that she was being watched.

A chill ran up her spine just before the wall across from her came crashing down.

Evelyne briefly took in a gangly man with a top had and a hand of long razors climbing over the rubble–giggling–before she took off in a sprint through the maze. Another rush of fog surged after her, and her feet kicked up dirt and dust with her skidding attempts to dodge. When it flew past, she swore it felt like someone had grazed her with a knife. As she doubled-back around a sharp bend, she heard a sickeningly sweet voice calling from beyond the walls.

“How tasteless of you,” the unsettling man said with raised volume. “Leaving me only stale, rotting scraps about when your fresh meat is so close at hand!” She felt eyes on her back again, but couldn't place from where. Another gong, but this time the sound covered the one of another crumbling wall.

It collapsed on top of her, and Evelyne dropped under the crushing weight with a cry of pain. Some of the rubble had cracked against her skull and now the dreary world was spinning and pulsing. The gangly, too-tall, top-hatted man stands over her, wiggling his knife fingers like he’s waving hello. The blades were almost as long as her arms; he had to stand at least 7 feet.

“Finally I get to meet you face to face,” he says. “You can call me Jack, my lady.” Jack the Ripper, she briefly recalled of the Seer’s lessons. A real, bonafide serial killer. If she had the energy, she would have spit in his face.

Jack bent down and plucked Evelyne from the rubble with one hand, lifting her like a weightless ragdoll and holding her in his arms. Though dazed, sore, and confused, she had sense enough to struggle in his hold. She squirmed and kicked all the way to the “chair” he would be placing her on, until she suddenly remembered the bag slung across her torso. As a last-ditch effort, Evelyne swung the half-filled thing into Jack’s face, splattering him with the gore he claimed to love so much. He yowled and dropped her.

The fall knocked the wind out of her, but Evelyne scrambled to her feet and ran as fast as she could.

[mydisenchantedeulogy]

Dying Light [Chapter Six] Intolerable [Bi-Han/Sub-Zero]

Warning(s): female reader, arranged marriage, foreshadowing, mixed emotions, brief sparring, mystery, short chapter, and slow romance.

Tag list: @genesiswrld @cherryblossomly @dilf-destroyer-04 @louis2gobrrn @umbransister

No Minors Allowed!!

Accustomed to the motions of rising early, you realize that the sun rises slower in the mountains. You dress in a standard blue and black tabard like the other Lin Kuei, then stroll to the kitchen for a light breakfast. Your strict training begins soon. 

In terms of technique, you note that the sessions are more intense and focused on linear movements and deep stances. To keep pace with them, you are made to push the limits of your legs to develop speed and test your stability. There is still much for you to learn. 

Although you are a new recruit, it seems like Bi-Han does not plan to ease you or your clan into the exercises. But that is fine. He has little patience for those who fall behind, you learn. And when it comes to his fighters learning the style of your clan, he has little interest aside from them mastering the two. He certainly is a tough man to like, but you admit there is a certain level of respect you have for him. He knows how to lead. 

For the next two hours, you train, running exercises and sparring with individuals. You focus more on your own techniques, but to test what you have learned, you switch between the two. Some of the Lin Kuei did the same. When the session is over, you were told that there were typically two sessions a day; morning and night. You were ordered to attend both. 

Departing from the training room, you follow a small group of fighters to the kitchen for a drink. You are met with bows and polite words that make you feel anxious, despite how used to formal titles you are. At home it was different, but here it feels like everyone is tiptoeing around you for no reason. 

Even if you were to ask them not to bow whenever you come into a room, you are sure they will not listen. There is nothing to be done about it. You dismiss them and saunter to the pantry. Lunch is a few hours off, but you were already debating what you should make. As you are checking a sealed container whose contents are labeled jasmine rice, you hear footsteps approaching and turn as Kuai Liang walks in, standing by the doorway. 

He apologies, then bows. 

“There is a matter that I need your assistance with.”

You raise a brow. Your assistance. Putting the container down, you hum. 

“Of course. Whatever it is, I'll gladly help if I can.”

Kuai Liang motions for you to follow him, then leads you outside the temple into the icy air. The wind coming down from the surrounding mountains tosses your hair. 

“Our guards on the west perimeter, down the mountain have not returned,” Kuai Liang explains. He slides his mask over his face. “They were meant to have switched shifts after the morning session, but they did not report it.” 

You frown. 

“Could there have been trouble?”

“We shall find out,” Kuai Liang retorts. 

He does not seem sure. You slide your own mask over your face, a flexible but warm cloth that some of the Lin Kuei wear. You are not certain why Kuai Liang chose you to assist him; this matter could have been handled by any of the assassins, but regardless, you do not mind. 

Sprinting down the mountain path, you are able to keep up with Kuai Liang well enough despite his speed. It takes you no time to reach the western perimeter where a pavilion with a hipped gable roofline sits, abandoned. The building does not appear to be damaged, but it is strange that no one is inside, or nearby for that matter. You follow Kuai Liang inside and take a look around. It is bare with the exception of a table and a pantry stocked with dry foods, but again, there is no sign of life.

As Kuai Liang checks outside, you examine the table. There are cups of cold tea and unopened packs of dried fruit lying about. You frown and wait for the middle brother to return. 

“Did you find anything of importance?” He asks.

You hum.

“The food and drinks were left untouched. It was as if they left in a hurry.” You swish the contents in one of the cups around. “Could they have been attacked?” 

“There is a precaution in place should danger arise. However no smoke rose above the mountain to warn us,” Kuai Liang answers. 

That is unfortunate. What happened then? 

“Were there tracks?” You ask.

Kuai Liang shakes his head in disagreement. 

“The snow probably covered them, if there were any.”

You feel as if the two of you are at a stand still. This is not good. It could very well have been the assassins in white who orchestrated the attack, but you were not sure. Facts do not add up. 

“What do we do?” You ask. 

“We return to the temple and report our findings to the Grandmaster,” Kuai Liang answers. “It will be his decision what we do next.”

You understand. 

In agreement, you follow him back to the temple, and under his orders, you go with him to report to Bi-Han. He is in his private space, an ample room that he appears to use as a study room. Delicate silk curtains frame the windows, letting in soft natural light as Bi-Han sits behind a grand desk, reading a list of provisions, you later learn.

“Brother,” Kuai Liang addresses. He bows, and though you are not accustomed to it, you mimic his stance to the best of your ability, thinking it more rude not to bow. You straighten when he does. 

“What did you find?” Bi-Han asks. He tosses aside the list of provisions.

Taking a moment to explain in detail the findings, Kuai Liang expresses his thoughts.

“There were no clues of trespassers, but the surrounding forest was again silent.”

You did not know this. You frown. Whatever loomed in the shadows must have followed you to the base. You stay silent as Bi-Han mulls over the statements. 

“Double the guards at every perimeter. When the convoy returns from the nearby town we’ll search the forest to the borderline,” Bi-Han orders. 

He sent out a convoy. Frost had told you that trips to town were rare. It makes you wonder if the said woman had been a part of the convoy. And perhaps Tomas too. You did not see either at the morning session. 

“Is there nothing more?” Bi-Han asks. 

“That was everything we had to report,” Kuai Liang answers.

He dismisses you, but before you turn, you notice Kuai Liang bowing again. Quickly you do the same, however, the sound of your name halts you. As though you were given an order, you turn and tense. Once you are alone with him, Bi-Han stands and strolls over to you. 

“Bow,” he orders.

You tighten your jaw. Raising your arms, you put your fist against your palm and bow. 

“Your arms are too low. Lift them,” he instructs. 

Before you do so, you feel his hands on your arms, lifting them higher. Then to your irritation, Bi-Han circles behind you and forces your right leg to bend. You lose your footing, teetering forward, but he pulls you against his chest. You are not sure if the action is intentional or not, but your heart begins to race. You drop your stance and tense up. 

“Again,” he orders. “When you stand in front of your Grandmaster, you are to bow correctly.”

Hesitantly, you bow. You can feel his biceps flex as he cages you between them, positioning your arms the right way. When he bends your knee, your face turns red as your rear brushes against him. You stay in this position until Bi-Han reaches down and yanks the amulet from the loop attached to your sash. Immediately, you forsake your stance and turn, grabbing his wrist. If you had not been focused, then the proximity, as close as you are, would have startled you. 

Bi-Han resists, then jerks his arm away, putting distance between you and him. 

“Show me what you learned,” he insists. To your irritation, he shoves the amulet into the space between his gauntlet and his arm. 

You almost turned up your eyes. It only had been one session, you hardly have the skill to take the amulet from him by force. Taking a stance, you step forward with a front lunch punch, but Bi-Han circles his arm around yours and with the other redirects your punch to the side.

“I'm not impressed. Is that the best you can do?” He scoffs.

You step back then bring up your knee to strike him in the chest, forcing him to release you, then you put distance between you. While the room is spacious, you do not want to risk breaking anything; the few weapons and knickknacks you can see look valuable and important. Again, you step forward aiming a straight punch at him. Bi-Han blocks, then throws a punch of his own, only to be interrupted with an inward block. Back and forth like a heated dance, you two strike at one another in succession, hindering the other's movements. It feels like a session to you, as though he is training you, gradually increasing your speed, so much so that your thoughts go blank and the movement is all you know. Then you act on instinct. 

As soon as Bi-Han raises his arm, the same one hiding your amulet, you grab his wrist and turn into him, shoving your elbow into the crook of his arm, bending it down. You slide your amulet from the lining of his gauntlet and put distance between you and him in case he tries to strike at you again, but he seems content. 

“You can go.”

You tighten your jaw. No ‘Good job’, or ‘Do better’? You retie the amulet, then storm past him. Before you get far, the order he makes halts you. 

“Bow.”

You almost forgot. Turning, you use what he taught you and quickly bow. But to your shock, Bi-Han eases down your arms and lifts your head toward him. His hand on your heated skin feels almost too cold.

“At least this marriage has not been intolerable.” 

You tighten your jaw. Is he serious? Of all the things he could say. 

I have to be married to the most emotionally constipated man on the planet.

You ease his hand away from your face. 

“Doing otherwise would just be a hassle for the both of us.” 

Quickly, you stroll from the room, feeling more exhausted than ever. A beneficial tool for his clan is understandable; he does not want a wife. So then why does he have to touch on you so softly. It is confusing and a little irritating.

Intolerable. He has no idea. 

[guppygiggles]

Like Real People Do, Part 4! ♡ (Casper x Avery)

☁️ Summary: Casper and Avery's relationship grows. Avery comes over to watch a movie that has an unexpected *scene* for Casper. Shenanigans ensue.

☁️ Warnings: Suggestive, very romantic, STUPID gay, the tickles you've been waiting for™, classic Avery teasing -- ABSOLUTELY NO MINORS

☁️ Author's Note: If you feel like I didn't go off the rails enough here, stay tuned because I swear to god, I'm just getting started~

This is a series now!

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4 *you are here

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Part 8

If you just got here and want to know more about my characters, you can read my comic starting right here!

Avery came to visit me the night after we went to the fair. And the next. And the next. 

Occasionally we'd skip a day or two, if he was working on research late into the night, or if I had after-hours systems testing at my job, but before long we had spent the equivalent of a week together. Then a month. Then two. 

Sometimes I would cook for him, helping him experience all the culinary delights he had denied himself due them being “unnecessary” pleasures. He found most dry food intolerable, but he loved all kinds of soup, fruit, and especially ice cream. I made sure to always have a case of sparkling water on-hand, too, just for him. 

Some nights, he would take me back to his lighthouse and we would spend the evening together there, sipping tea and playing board games on his tiny kitchen table (Avery usually won). We shared affectionate hugs and glances. Sometimes, he would touch my hand across the kitchen table as I pored over how to beat him at cards, making me lose my concentration. He always carried me home before it got too late. 

When we weren't together, we texted; sweet greetings, inside jokes, photos from our lives. We playfully competed against each other for who could make the most bored face while working, or who could take a prettier sunset picture. True to his word, he also texted me when he needed things; strange mechanical parts, books about advanced scientific concepts, refills for his tea cabinet. 

I let him take point and followed his lead, never initiating, allowing him to discover and express his feelings in his own time. He was shy, but he could be playful at times, too – I wasn't sure if he knew it, but his teasing flustered me out of my wits. I was fairly certain he didn't know about… that, but there had been some close calls; a good-natured nudge to the ribs that sent me reeling, or a hug that ended with his fingertips lightly grazing my sides. I recalled one incident at the movie theatre when he whispered a little too close to my ear, necessitating me to hold my breath until he was done speaking. That time, I thought I wouldn't make it. 

It was autumn, my favorite season. I had not grown up around deciduous trees, and I was delighted to watch the foliage in Port Oleander cycle through a rainbow of warm hues. The sun was beginning to set as I stood in my kitchen, gently stirring a pot of homemade miso soup – Avery's favorite – when my phone buzzed. 

What are you doing, dewdrop? 

makin soup for you :3 

Ooh, what kind? 

its a surprise!! 

I'm sure I'll love it. 

Hey, I wanted to ask you something… Do you want me to stay the night tonight? 

“Wow,” I thought. That was a big step for Avery. We'd cuddled a bit before, but not in bed, and we'd never spent the night, either. My heart beat a bit faster. What if I did something embarrassing in my sleep? Would he notice if I wasn't wearing my binder? Would he care? 

I took a bit too long to answer, so he followed with:

If you're not comfortable, I totally understand. 

no!! i would love for you to stay over. my beds not as big as yours but i think it's comfy.

Sounds good! I can't wait to see you, dewdrop. I'm bringing a movie to watch. 

which one!!! 

Hehe… it's a surprise. 

can't wait💙

+++ 

It wasn't long before Avery arrived. As I opened the door, I grinned at the sight of him in his fall outfit. It was the first really cold day of autumn, and he'd worn an alpine sweater, a blue scarf, and jeans instead of his usual slacks. I rushed into his huge embrace, burying my face in his soft chest. He was especially tall and fluffy that day – I estimated he was about six-foot-five (195cm ♡) – which told me he was well-hydrated and full of energy. I inhaled as I nuzzled into his chest -- he smelled like cloves and old books. 

“Hello, dewdrop,” he said fondly, squeezing me close to him and stroking my hair. “It smells wonderful in here." He took a seat on the couch, setting a DVD on the coffee table. 

“It'll be done soon! Are you hungry?”

“Casper, I'm always hungry when you're cooking.” 

I giggled, sampling the soup as I walked over to him. “Is this the movie you brought?”

“Yes, I wasn't sure if you'd seen it, but you said you liked old animated films. This is one of my favorites, so I thought I'd share it with you.”

It was a copy of The Secret of NIMH. It made sense that Avery liked it – understandably, he had a penchant for fringe science and supernatural concepts.

“Oh, I love this movie!” I had a copy of it, too, but it was in storage somewhere. 

I brought two bowls of soup over to the couch. Though I was pleased with how it came out, I wasn't particularly hungry; I was too riled up, thinking about Avery staying the night. I noticed that he'd brought a canvas bag with him. I wondered what his pajamas looked like. I wondered about a lot of other things, too. 

“Ahh, you scamp, this is my favorite! Thank you for making it, it's delicious,” Avery chirped, sipping the clear broth greedily. I never tired of watching him eat; the liquid entering his mouth and then being swept up in the swirling vortex of his head, disappearing in an instant. The hot soup made him steam a bit, little whips of vapor rising from his skin. 

I put the movie in and turned off the light, snuggling into his side. Though his sweater was soft, I wished that I could feel his bare arm instead as he wrapped it around me. His cool fingers rested on my forearm, and I could feel the wind rushing beneath his skin. 

We watched the movie quietly, every now and then making comments on the score and animation of the Don Bluth film.

“Justin reminds me of you,” I said, grinning. 

“Oh, really? Hehe. He is charming, isn't he? He's just like me, for real.” Avery put his hands on his hips and struck a playfully haughty pose, just like in Justin's introduction scene. The temptation to take him down a peg was immense, but somehow, I resisted. 

“Dude, you cannot pull off slang like that at all,” I said, laughing. 

“Got you to giggle though, didn't I?” 

I blushed, but summoned some confidence and fired back anyway. 

“Pfff. Just like Mr. Ages said about Justin, you're a feather-head, too.” 

Avery laughed openly, causing me to get a terrible case of butterflies as he trembled against my body. 

“I can't argue with that,” he said. 

We watched the movie a while longer. The scene with Jenner in the auditorium ended, and the next scene featuring Jeremy started to play. He was tangled up in his string, as usual, and was involved in some banter with the suspicious old shrew, who was admonishing him for sneaking around. She paced back and forth on screen, rigging up Jeremy's string to nearby branches and hoisting him into the air.

Suddenly, I remembered this scene. My body stiffened a bit against Avery, and I felt my ears beginning to flush. Without meaning to, I held my breath. 

The mice kids were calling Jeremy a turkey, and demanding to know where their mother was. One of them jumped on top of Jeremy, clawed fingers scratching his sides as he laughed, crying, “No, stop! You're tickling!” 

Luckily, the scene was over quickly. I exhaled as quietly as possible, but then, Avery paused the movie. My heart dropped. 

“I've noticed something about you,” he said slowly. 

“Y-yes?” I tried to sound normal. I sounded nothing close. 

“Whenever this topic comes up, I observe a kaleidoscope of emotions from you. You flush, stutter, look away, squirm, and hold your breath. I've let it slide many times, but now, I'm curious. This tickling… has an interesting effect on you that it doesn't seem to have on other humans. 

“I know what tickling is, in theory, but it’s a human behavior that doesn't exist in Cirropa. I'm dying to know what about it gets you so… flustered like this? And why you're so desperate to hide it from me.” 

I swallowed hard, suddenly and painfully aware of every contact point between Avery’s body and mine, especially his fingers resting on my arm. How could I explain this without saying it out loud? 

“Ahh, well, um… it's… I just…” I babbled incoherently. My breath came in short gasps as my fingers and toes grew clammy. 

Avery shifted on the couch, turning to face me. In the glow of the TV screen, his eyes were intense, but there was the faintest hint of a smirk playing around his lips. 

“I am a scientist, you know. If you don't tell me, I'm not afraid to test a hypothesis. But let's clear this up first, at least – does it make you uncomfortable in a bad way? Is it painful for you? I have a feeling it's the opposite… very opposite… but I have to be sure.” 

“Ahh, errrr… no…” 

“No, what?”

“No, it… doesn't make me uncomfortable in a bad way, and it isn't painful.”

“Hmmm… what isn't?”

“What?”

“What isn't painful, Casper?” 

“...” 

“Oh, stars. This ruffles you so badly you can't even say the word, can you? Oh, dewdrop… you know I have to try it, now.” 

Alarm bells went off in my head as I felt my blush flood from my ears, to my cheeks, to the rest of my face. I scrambled backwards from Avery, but with such speed I almost couldn't detect it, he was on top of me, one knee on each side of my hips. 

I screamed. 

“No Avery! Nohohoho plehehehehease don't hahahahaha!”

“My god, I haven't even touched you yet! I hear you saying no– do you really want me to stop?” His smirk was huge now, and I could barely stand to look at him. He knew exactly what he was doing. 

I hid my face in my hands, causing Avery to giggle.

“I knew it! Humans are so cute sometimes! Here, sweetheart, I'll give you one last out. If you want me to stop, snap your fingers.” 

A moment of silence passed, my hands still firmly covering my face.

“Hehehe… Alright, then. You quite literally asked for it.”  

With that, I felt Avery's fingertips light on each side of my ribcage. He started softly and deftly flexing them, gently skittering along the sides of my body. 

I'd been tickled plenty of times before, by previous partners and friends. Generally, they were so excited to tickle me, so caught up in a moment of playfulness that they dug their fingers into me… which did usually tickle quite a lot, but it also hurt a bit, too, and made it difficult to enjoy. 

Avery's tickling was entirely different. He was methodical, comprehensive. Playful, but gentle. His fingertips were incredibly soft and dexterous as they prodded and kneaded along my ribcage. Avery worked with delicate scientific instruments, and he tickled like he did, too; it was like nothing I'd ever felt. 

“Ahahahahahaveryyyy!! Hahahahaha!” I cried, squirming beneath his fingers, my unrestrained hands grabbing uselessly at his forearms; he was so strong, it didn't seem to phase him in the slightest. 

“Hehehe, you are so sensitive to this! Oh, this is so cute, Casper! If I had known you liked this sooner, I would have already played with you like this so many times. I wonder where else you're ticklish? If we go by evolutionary theory, it would probably be a vital point, like here,” he teased, his soft fingertips moving from my ribcage to the sides of my neck, his cool fingers gliding merrily along my bare skin. 

I blushed so hard, I was sure my whole body must be red. 

“AAAHAHAhahahaha!” I squealed, reaching my hands up to protect myself. I could feel moisture beginning to bead in the corners of my eyes. Avery's fingertips tickled so much, it was like an eclipse for my mind, blocking out any thoughts and leaving only the delicious torture of sensation. 

Avery stopped, looking down at me with concern. 

“You're starting to cry, are you okay?” He asked, his brow furrowed as he reached out to cup my hot cheek in his soft palm, gently wiping my tear with his thumb. 

“Hehehe… I'm okay, Avery… I cry when I laugh sometimes,” I said, placing my hand reassuringly over his. His cold skin was a relief, as I was already starting to sweat. 

“Hmm… if you do things like cry, and say ‘stop’ out of instinct, how will I know when you're ready for me to really stop?” 

“Aheh, well… time for some vocabulary, I guess. That's called a safeword, but safewords don't always work with this, because sometimes you're laughing so hard you can't get it out. I've found it's better to tap out,” I showed him by tapping my fingers on the couch, “but it's always good to check periodically, too.”

“What other words should I know?”

“Well… there is ‘ler’, which means someone who likes to ‘teekay’ other people, and ‘lee’, someone who likes to be ‘teekayed’.” 

“So… does that mean you're a lee?” 

I chuckled; my turn to smirk. 

“No, I'm the ‘secret third thing’ – a switch. Someone who likes both.” 

“O-Oh.” Avery blushed exquisitely. 

“You wanna give it a try?” 

“It does seem like fun…” 

My heart was pounding. “Why don't we move to the bed, then? You can't really stretch out on this couch like I can. You'll be more comfortable there.”

“Hehe… lead on, dewdrop.” 

[4uhealth]

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[invisibleraven]

It's that time again: Inny prompts a Ray Is The Best Dad prompt because: keeping a few of their favorite snacks in the house for when they visit. makes me soft.

Grocery day was not Ray’s favourite day of the week. For one it was less fun without Rose who liked to race the charts, do silly puppets shows with the fruit when testing their ripeness, and indulged his love of trashy food.

For two, he had a lot more mouths to feed now.

Not that he minded the extra mouths, but it got to be a lot remembering all their restrictions, dislikes, and still keep their nutritional health in mind.

He started with the staples; bread, eggs, and milk. Making sure to get oat milk for Alex whose lactose intolerance he learned about in the worst way. Plus it was always handy to have on hand if Carrie and Willie decided they were vegan this week.

He stocked up on veggies-he had become an expert on hiding them in food so the gaggle of teenagers who frequented his home would eat them. He had better luck with fruit, and Luke loved to help him make weird smoothie combinations but hey, at least he was enthusiastic about that part of healthy eating.

He couldn’t say the same for Flynn who would survive on soda and pizza if she could. Though given her mother liked to brew up meatloaf containing wheatgrass and alfalfa sprouts, he didn’t really blame her.

Julie was easy to please, as she had started cooking for the group and gave him a list. She had been working on recreating some of Rose’s recipes to introduce her friends to Latin food, as well as the desserts. Ray was more than happy to be her guinea pig for those experiments.

Plus it made Carlos (and Victoria) from complaining about his spaghetti for the third day in a row.

At first Ray had thought Reggie was the easiest as he would happily eat anything and everything placed in front of him. That is until he found out that he probably wasn’t getting much to eat at home, and rarely indulged in buying food since he was saving up to move out as soon as he could.

Ray had offered him the guest room more than once, but kept getting denied. “Well can you at least tell me what you actually like to eat? We can even make it together.”

Reggie lit up at that. “Can you teach me to make ribs?”

Now Ray had never really attempted ribs-they weren’t a staple in the Molina household. “How about we learn together?”

The end results were pretty damn good if he said so himself, even if Reggie was far better at the grill than Ray was. With that in mind, Ray grabbed another pack-plus some chicken and impossible burgers and wondered if he could convince Reggie they should have a cook out this weekend.

With all the healthy options done, Ray gathered snacks; savoury and salty snacks for the boys, chocolate and candy for the girls, sour stuff for Carlos and a pack of cookies for himself-one he would be hiding because he learned the hard way about not doing so with seven teenagers in and out of the house.

He also grabbed some of those nasty rice cakes for Tori-just because she spent enough time with them, he wanted to have options.

He approached the register, hunting for his wallet-he knew Julie handed it to him after he couldn’t find it with the mail. It was in his jacket pocket, and within it there was a pile of coupons, courtesy of Flynn the Coupon Queen. Plus a points card that he knew belonged to Willie that gave Ray some savings and would give Willie a discount on the movie he wanted to take Alex to the weekend.

Ray shook his head softly and smiled at the weird situation he found himself in. Widowed and the father to eight kids, only two of which were his.

He wouldn’t trade any of them for the world though. Even if the bill after it all was starting to get ridiculous. But the kids-his kids were worth every penny.

[yarameijer]

What do you think is Tenma's and others' favourite food and drink?

Ooh, favorite foods! Okay so please bear with me, I’m not familiar with Japanese cuisine but I’ll give it a shot!

First, the first-years! Tsurugi has a sweet tooth, but he wouldn’t admit it even on pain of death and only Yuuichi knows because Tsurugi believes it’d take away from his reputation otherwise. He loves rice cakes, especially with fillings. He’s also a fan of dried beans covered with sugar.

Hikaru is also a major fan of sweets and is willing to try whatever's offered to him, but his absolute favorite is coffee jelly. He can sometimes be bribed with sweets if necessary. To finish up the sweet tooth trio, Aoi loves any type of cake, although she prefers milder tastes instead of super sweet. She and Hikaru go out to cafes to try out their menu and manage to drag Tsurugi along eventually, although he’ll pretend to come along just to humor them. These three are also the biggest fans of going to Tenma’s place, because Aki usually has some homemade baking ready.

Shinsuke really likes onigiri, it’s simple yet tasty, and easy to share with friends. No need for any fancy dishes for him! He’s also a fan of sweets, although not as bad as the three mentioned above, and he likes fruit-flavored soy milk.

Kariya likes takoyaki the most! It’s pretty easy to get, so he likes treating himself to it if he’s done well on a test or something, or if he’s just in the mood. Since he lives in an orphanage, food options are dependent on whatever gets prepared there, so while the food is good he doesn’t really have any input in dinner. Makes it extra nice to get takoyaki as a snack for himself!

If asked, Tenma’s favorite food is whatever Aki prepares because her cooking is amazing, but his favorite dish would be gōyā chanpurū, Okinawan stir fry. He’s loved it since he was young, and now that he lives in Tokyo, it reminds him of home. He also enjoys sweet snacks, particularly mitarashi dango and sata andagi (which is also from Okinawa, and he loves it for similar reasons).

Onto the second-years! Hamano loves sashimi (raw fish), but he doesn’t really have a preference for a specific type. He also likes taiyaki, fish-shaped cakes, not only because of the taste but also because they’re, well, in the shape of a fish. He and Hayami often get some if they're hanging out after school, most often with red bean paste or custard filling. Although Hayami likes taiyaki too, he prefers gyõza (Japanese dumplings). He’s also a pretty big tea fan, especially green tea, which he has in common with Shindou.

Speaking of - everyone knows Shindou is a rich kid. Influential, loaded family that goes to operas and pays for private tutoring outside of school and eats at a five star restaurant every other month. And yet, ironically, his absolute favorite food turns out to be homemade ramen from Rairaiken (after his friends have introduced him to it, of course). He likes to experiment with toppings and is delighted whenever he finds a new combination he enjoys.

Kirino’s favorite food is sushi, also because there’s such a wide variety of it, and he can pick whatever he feels like at that moment. Luckily for him, he’s best friends with rich kid Shindou, and whenever they hang out at his manor, the staff knows to prepare sushi. Kirino takes full advantage of this and claims it’s payment for dealing with Shindou’s soccer strategy ramblings. Just like Shindou and Hayami, he likes green tea, but he prefers royal milk tea.

Nishiki picked up a love for Italian cuisine during his time abroad. He loves ravioli (stuffed pasta) and he’s got a preference for ciabatta bread. He’s lucky enough not to be lactose intolerant like many other Japanese people, and he absolutely LOVED spending time in a country with countless cheese options, in which Japan is, unsurprisingly, lacking. He’s cooked for his friends a few times and it was a pretty big success.

Midori and Kurama, surprisingly enough, share their favorite food: kushiyaki, skewered and grilled foods. Midori loves grilled pork skewers, whereas Kurama’s favorite are grilled vegetable skewers. Midori likes other types as well, but Kurama’s a picky eater so he'll stick to his vegetables, thank you very much.

Akane can usually be found with various types of bread in her bento, the specific kind switching every day. It’s her favorite snack and she usually brings some to eat during afternoon practice. Her favorites are melonpan and anpan (filled with red bean paste). She brings enough for the entire team as a treat if they’ve won a particularly hard match. She also really loves bubble tea (her favorite is honeydew milk tea), and often drags Aoi and Midori along. Aoi’s favorite is matcha milk tea, and Midori’s is black milk tea.

Aoyama, as mentioned in the AR one-shot collection, is obsessed with noodles. His favorite is kitsune udon, but he likes switching it up so he also orders other dishes quite regularly. Ichino also appreciates udon and other noodle foods (he doesn’t really have a choice, being best friends with Aoyama), and he’s also a big fan of shaved ice.

Finally the third-years! They’ve actually got a pretty big thing in common there: they all prefer the company over the food, really. Sangoku, for example, doesn’t really have a favorite food. He loves cooking, and cooking for others, and he’s a fan of trying out new recipes, although he favors traditional Japanese meals. He originally taught himself how to cook because his mother is usually busy with work, but discovered a love for it and he likes seeing his friends enjoy his food. He does really enjoy a good cup of green tea, though, like Shindou and Hayami.

Next, Kurumada! If asked, he claims he likes going to yakiniku (grilled meat) restaurants with his friends most. He thinks it’s tasty, and he likes having multiple options for food and being able to just get whatever he’s in the mood for at the time. It’s only made better by the company, although inviting his team along has been known to end in chaos.

Amagi’s favorite food is katsudon, which he has in common with Mahoro. When they were kids, he, Mahoro and their childhood friend Kousaka Yukie would eat it as often as their parents would allow - that’s where his love for shared meals began, because it’s much more fun to eat together than alone.

…I may have gone a bit overboard with this. Whoops?

Hope you enjoyed!