#at her treatment of the dead
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hello good evening tonight i’m thinking about shoko and how desensitized she is :33 thinking about a naive reader who admires her and looks up to her and feels their world come crashing down when she has to put a scalpel to their best friend’s corpse after a mission gone wrong and doesn’t even bat an eye .
#she drinks herself to sleep that night#not like you would know#i’m just . thinking abt the more rotting sides of shoko . that i think get ignored sometimes#i will forever die on the hill that sashisu are all genuinely Good people . but they’re also fucked up . from all the trauma#shoko is kind and she cares maybe more than anyone else#but she’s also so used to bloodshed . so used to biting down and doing what she’s told.#she grows so fond of the innocent light in your eyes so when she sees your eyes widen in horror#at her treatment of the dead#she can’t help but feel a pang of anguish she thought she had grown out of#ari noises ✩
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crystal palace surname-von hoverkraft appreciation post 🫶🫶
crystal i love you and your absurdly silly name <333
#shes getting the female-character-in-a-love-triangle-with-the-main-mlm-ship treatment and i HATE IT#shes my bisexual funky dungarees-wearing psychic gf and i LOVE her#dead boy detectives#crystal palace#crystal palace surname von hoverkraft#kassius nelson
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Slaps my lavellan this bad boy can fit so many abandonment issues
edit: uploaded the right picture lol
#dragon age#solas#lavellan#dragon age inquisition#oc: avelea#solavellan#dai#my art#I could not bear to cover up solas’ neck and shoulders#I don’t know how the inquisitor got back to the team#but my hc is that they ended up finding her and helped her back to the palace for treatment#imagine the love of your life broke up with you#promised you answers and then disappeared without a trace#could be dead or alive#you’d feel insane! you’d go crazy#2 years pass and you start to feel normal again#BOOM HE’S BACK#also he still loves you#you changed him#made him hate himself more#and he still won’t choose you#kisses you one last time#implies you’ll never meet again#disappears again#personally I’d explode#but Lea definitely disassociated until the gang showed up
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Hm ok so I just finished episode 3 of dead boy detectives and like,,, I’m enjoying it but I wish Niko was less of a stereotype 🫤
#they gave her the Mantis treatment#niko sasaki#dead boy detectives#charles rowland#edwin payne#edwin x charles#crystal palace#dbda#dbda netflix
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do you have any plans for snaptooth or flywhisker, ever since I saw that fake map I've fallen in love w flywhisker lmao
You know, for the longest time I've been planning to have Snaptooth and Flywhisker be adopted kits of Toadstep and Lionblaze, but I'm writing an SE rework for Nightcloud right now and I have a temptation.
I found a good moment to send off Snapstorm, the best friend of Brushblaze, as a complication of a boar hunt gone wrong. It's right around the time that Brushblaze's kits are being born, and something feels odd about the fact he didn't name any of his kits after someone who was by his side for his entire life. SO I'm thinking about shuffling Snaptooth over to HIS litter.
Which leaves Flywhisker over in ThunderClan.
Lionblaze is the adopted father of Dovewing and Ivypool... and his terrible parenting caused Dovewing to leave ThunderClan, and Ivypool to be permanently traumatized. He breaks up his false mateship with Cinderheart to go be with the cat he really loves, Toadstep, and Flywhisker is adopted after being found abandoned.
Lionblaze's destruction of the ThunderClan family tree has been undone; so now he would only have three children. Ivy, Dove, and Fly. I like it, because Fly is growing up with all the expectations of being Firekin, but also holding the knowledge that her loving father... wasn't always the best, to her older sisters.
It would be cool if Fly was always a little bit of a rebel, and found a really good friend in WindClan. I could work her into the conflict of TBC better too, being accused of being in a HalfClan relationship when the truth is that Snaptooth is more like a brother to her. Then, of course, have them leave the Clans together.
Brushblaze's litter would be Snaptooth, Smokehaze, and Galerunner... and so, Galerunner would be left alone after his brother leaves permanently with Flywhisker.
But I'm still unsure. It's a big change, because I'd been planning for Fly and Snap to remain siblings in BB. But it does seem to work better, thinking about it...
#Especially since I didn't need BOTH Snap and Fly in that role#Fly can do everything with Twig and have all the complicated feelings all on her own#and something seems very painful about the idea that Lion put his heart and soul into spoiling his youngest daughter#desperate to make up for what he did to dove and ivy#...Only for him to be unable to save her from the Impostor's treatment.#Since he himself is a target for being halfclan#For Fly he did nothing wrong. He tried so hard. He thought he had improved and he did#and it wasn't enough...#And TOADSTEP meanwhile is going to be fucking PISSSSEDDDD#Because Thorn is dead. Spiderleg is taking his roles#And SPIDERLEG is who was causing the troubles that ultimately caused Fly to decide that she was going to leave with Snap#Once again his shitty dad is taking everything from him#Something about this feels like it works Better for Fly to be targeted by the imposter and also the only member of her litter#better bones au#BB!TBC#BB!Flywhisker#BB!Snaptooth
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Let's not treat Emily like she is somehow a threat to David/Matt, please. She is a very well written, complicated and interesting character who deserves to be acknowledged more than just "threatening a yaoi ship".
She is going through a lot and she does not deserve to be hated on just because she's not playing the demure, meek girl who lets people step on her. She's been manipulated, betrayed and dragged through Hell, her flipping her shit is completely understandable.
And she does not deserve to be treated badly when fucking Matt Grotto betrayed, lied to, neglected and STABBED the guy he was in love with without much (if any) fandom backlash.
Emily deserves so much better treatment and I hope that people come to see her as the wonderfully intricate character she is, instead of just a side character to the "Matt and David Love Story"
#the grotto#thegrottopod#the grotto podcast#this has been eating at me for a while actually#people have been so mean to emily for no reason#matt has done so much worse but he gets the baby treatment#while emily has a mental breakdown and is immediately labelled as a bitch because ???#she came back from the dead after being manipulated by a bad actor and everyones moving on without her#she's allowed to feel hurt and upset about that#especially towards matt#i love matt but he is selfish and awful and not a good person either
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S4 WHY ARE YOU SO GOOD AND WEIRD
I love the fourth season. It does so many things right. But also. …it's kinda a mess.
Like a very pretty mess. But a mess. And I could write a wholeass essay on it. Don't feel like it right now.
I will say this one thing now though: it has always confused me how of all the seasons, S2 is the one that really explores being a kid in an apocalypse without really an adults to guide said kid, and not…S4?
Sure, there's adults in S2, but Clementine is stuck in this weird grey zone where she can't really rely on them, and has to be her own adult. And this does include Kenny, depending on what people choose to do, and what they interpret. Because he was easily just as bad given the specific scenes. Better, given other scenes, but the bad was…really bad.
But then there's S4. And like, yeah sure, the schoolkids are there to represent a healthy but struggling community—in that there's things to work through, but they genuinely care for each other, and they do whatever it takes to survive, regardless of what they think a "liability" is.
But like. The season never really explored the extent of what being abandoned by adults really would imply??
Like why is S2 the only one where exploring substances as a kid is a thing? Clementine can smoke and drink there, and that's with adult influence. Whereas with S4, nothing. Even though the fishing shack looks like it's a hotspot for booze.
I dunno if I'm making sense. This is why I generally write essays and not splurge on a post. Lol. But. I just. I just wish S4 really explored what the adults leaving did to those kids, man. Beyond what the season did.
S4 in this regard just felt like they knew what being a troubled kid implied, but they actually never wanted to depict kids doing more adult things, other than survival, even though Clementine 1) could've smoked and drank before because…the adults around her were…hmph, and 2) she is literally raising a child on her own. Like it beats around the bush but in a weird and obscure way that I don't have the energy to pick apart.
I just.
#volt's shit#twdg#the walking dead game#twdg 4#twdg clementine#twdg violet#twdg louis#twdg marlon#twdg brody#twdg tenn#twdg mitch#twdg willy#twdg ruby#twdg aj#i 100% know i didn't get all i wanted to across but im just pooped#but given the major fic im writing for the fandom this is something i think about *a lot*#like i get it they're kids still#but the reality is without a structured society kids are *easily* roped into the same environment that the adults are in#which like no shit just look at clementine#but it's her character which confuses me because telltale *has* illustrated what a kid without guidance does#and what happens is they explore things wayy too early and get to the point where they shoot someone at a bar over “business adulting” stuf#on accident but still she landed her ass in airport jail#i just dont get why the schoolkids didnt get the same treatment?#obviously the game doesn't just ignore it but it does beat around the bush in a weird way
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hey, you guys think about how agatha’s probably so mad at rio because she didn’t get to say goodbye to nicky
#like ?? agatha doesn’t KNOW rio made nicky give her the kisses#all agatha knows is she went to sleep with her son and woke up to find him dead#i’ve been thinking about this since i watched the finale#like i bet to agatha special treatment would’ve been able to Know it was his last day#special treatment would’ve been able to do something new for nicky to enjoy his last day#special treatment would’ve been agatha being able to express how much nicky means to her#special treatment would’ve been being able to say Goodbye#but rio Took him before she could#agatha never knew how much time she would get but can u imagine if she would’ve been able to actually say Goodbye#imagine your lover being death. who has given you time with your baby#and then she just takes him in the middle of the night#without even letting you say goodbye ? like yes rio gave her more time than she should’ve been given#but she didn’t even get to say GOODBYE#to her SON ?#to the only family who didn’t actively hate her believe her evil and want her dead#rio gave her six years and no goodbye#i’m clawing my eyeballs out#agatha all along
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sorry sorry sorry sorry I cannot go a day without thinking about how frequently I see "I support womens wrongs! give us more female villians! give us more complex female characters!" in the fandom when these same people hate on Mapleshade for literally just existing . . . ARE YOU SURE you want more female characters who are genuinely bad people . . . "Mapleshade is so horrible! she was a liar!" yeah shes a villain. shes a villain. why are you dissing her for being a villain and having a villain backstory. I see soo many people like fr hate her just because she isnt a good person when she isnt supposed to be a good person because she is a VILLAIN like I am going to shed a full head of hair
#warrior cats#wc#mapleshade#AM I THE ONLY ONE?#I literally never see people beef w mapleshade#the same way they beef w the male villains#male villains can literally stomp on babies and ppl will be like#“oh hes so interesting I like how hes written”#mapleshade is given the most basic tame villain orgin ever#and people legit HATE HER GUTS#she gets the dreaded “oh shes a babytrapper...” “annoying obsessive woman...” treatment#soul... dead#if you just dislike how shes written ... thats ok just not the point of this post
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curlfeather girl they will never make me hate you
(how did this turn into a berryheart post oops)
#berryheart on the other hand!!!#she is so complex but she never!!! ever!!! learns!!!!#curlfeather#is fortunately and unfortunately dead#so they (HOPEFULLY) can’t ruin her character#and while she’s not as complex as berryheart she’s definitely not simple either#i wish berryheart could learn from her mistakes but that doesn’t seem likely#my prediction?? she’s probably going to die#only realizing her mistake once it’s far too late#will she go to starclan like mudclaw??#technically she didn’t do anything he didn’t. and she even tried the legal way at first#mudclaw just went straight to planning a coup#or will she get the warrior cats misogyny treatment and be sent to the dark forest?#we shall see#warrior cats#berryheart
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#as a cancer survivor myself I wish her well and a speedy recovery#she said she needed to heal from her surgery to start her other treatment#this is what I experienced as well#all together it was about three months from diagnosis to the end of my therapy and that's the timeline of her being 'missing'#anyway the speculation is over not a fan of the royals but I'm glad she wasn't dead or in a coma#kate middleton
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thinking abt how much river and the doctor's hiding the damage also shapes thasmin
#said it before i'll say it again but yaz you totally got the spouse treatment#unfortunately being the doctor's wife fucking sucks!!!!#unless youre a time machine#also said this before but in my head theyre like categorised as bluebeards wives#clara river yaz. rose not so much. she lived#the others are all various shades of dead#'but dimitri yaz lived thats the end of her arc' sure but. thematically. all *gestures at potd reovlution tmleschldrn* was suicidal as fuck#okay no like yaz lives but she doesnt get the life she wants#she is alive technically but she dies in that. shes brought back home#if her leaving home is the coming out you know? then being brought back is being stuffed back in the closet#even if not in the literal details bc her family is supportive#then in the metaphorical way that The Doctor Life is the life she wants to live#and she doesnt GET that#bc. the doctor dies#and whos the doctor in potd? right#see? i connected the dots
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hanyuu higurashi’s lore is just ‘maybe the real demons were the ones inside of us all along’ but taken extremely literally and unironically
#that feeling when you a ghost alien demon thing fall in love and have a child with the love of your life#but then you have to kill him using your special demon killing sword because he was overtaken by a demon himself#and so you disappear and watch your daughter from the sidelines and then one day she desperately needs medicine#so you make some for her and the rest of the villagers#and they repay your kindness by attempting to your daughter her husband and their daughter#in the suspicion of ‘communing with demons’ which. technically they’re right but still. not cool#and so you get so pissed off by the village’s abhorrent treatment of your beloved daughter you burn the entire village down#and ‘accidentally’ give into your inner demons and ‘accidentally’ kill everyone#forcing your own daughter to kill you using the very demon slaying sword and mantra you used to kill her father years ago#but you’re not really dead ofc you just lost your corporeal form once again#and now you sit and watch your descendants from the shadows like you did once before#until one comes along that looks exactly like your daughter and one thing leads to another and you give her the power to loop endlessly#through time. as one does. naturally#higurashi no naku koro ni#hanyuu furude
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While I understand that people are disappointed about the backstory re: Kazuki’s wife and blame the writing for making her yet another bland, soulless side character who fades into the background without leaving so much as a strong imprint on us, the audience, I have been thinking about it and even though it can be because of poor writing, falling into clichés that make the story progress easily without delving too much into things… I can also see why Karin described her sister as “happy” and “she loved flowers”. At the end of the day, when we experience loss, all that remains are the memories we have of that person. If we do not move on, or until we move on, like Kazuki, those memories will be rooted in grief. And, don’t get me wrong, the grief will always be there! But with time and conscious effort, it will get easier. Karin has moved on, and she remembers her sister the way someone who wishes to be happy without her does.
At the end of the day, isn’t those things the sort of things people say during wakes and funerals? She was always so happy and full of life. She loved flowers and long walks on the beach. She lived for her family and friends. She was always nice to people. Sure, they’re things people say about those who are no longer with us, that do not really have much depth to it. I’m not denying the lack of profoundness in those statements. But, at the end of the day, it’s the trivial, menial things that get said about those who left us. And I think it’s important to remember that.
#also: it’s a 13 episode season#they genuinely cannot plummet into character arcs longer than a couple episodes without straying too far from the plot and the main arc#i’m sure the fans will give her more depth should they choose to make character analysis about this episode#i’m not saying it’s not cliché-y or anything. because it is#it is also very telling of how women are treated in fiction. both in the east and the west apparently#you don’t see male characters get that sort of treatment as often#but anyway: yes. my point is that is EXACTLY the sort of trivial soulless thing you say to a griever about their loved one#people don’t really go into depth on people after they died. unless the situation calls for it#it’s why sometimes people find funerals and wakes infuriating. she was so much more than that. and it will go unsaid. because now is not#the time to say those things. because people are grieving. and they cannot process more than surface level commentary on a dead person idk#buddy daddies#buddy daddies spoilers#hope this is not too separate from general fandom opinion or consensus tbh maybe i have autismed too close to the sun#and i’m reading too much into it#anyway. if you have lost a loved one you’ll know. that is EXACTLY the sort of comment that gets thrown around during the grieving process#🐈⬛
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#its sort of funny. i think my medication is working pretty well. i feel stable in a way i never really have before#is it the dopamine stablizer or is it my ion channels? whos to say. it doesn't matter. but it also doesnt change some things#the ways i think and react negativly to change. but it makes it easier to deal with. i still experience this strange dispaire on the#weekends or anytime im not working. i think the oddest thing is thst i dont think ive ever been this consistenly sad#not in a depressed sort of way. just a passing thoughts make me tear up sort of way. it doesnt feel out of control. it just feels like a#prelude to grief i guess. bc my mum is still in the hospital and its so hard to kno what that means from halfway across the country#my sisters are both home right now. they both live within 3hrs of where we grew up. one sister lives in the city my mom goes to for#treatment. so they have the opportunity to see her more than me. i dunno if they do tho. we dont really talk. i dont kno if they're as sad#as i am. if im overreacting bc i cant physically see what's happening. what the feeling is in the room. not that she would probably complain#shes the suffer in silence type. my dad keeps texting us pics of our shitty lil sunroom that hes redoing#to make my mum a lil sanctuary. he must be sad too. its his wife. hes staying with her in the hospital rn. i dunno its so weird#when i talk to my counselor she assumes i find out info thru calls or talk to my sisters abt it and i gotta b like nah we dont really talk#i get my info thru text. i havent talked to my parents on the phone in like a month. i dunno we just dont talk. so i dont kno how to reach#out and be like yo so whats up? shoulf i plan on coming home this summer for a bit?? like???#this is the disadvantage of leaving thr place where you grew up. probably when i finish my phd i should move closer to home#somewhere in the Appalachian mountains maybe. somewere in the eastern deciduous forrest. somewhere with thunderstorms.#but thats years from now. who knows what ill b doing. for now im just sad and tired and i dont quite kno what to do in the short or long#term bc im feeling the weight of my mental limitations rather intensely. but maybe im just being self limiting#whatever. i dont have a dead mum yet. shes not even on hospice care. things are just uncertain and dont look so hot#i just dont see how it can get better from here when chemo gave her secondary blood cancer and shes still full of tumors#i dont think im being that dramatic. it just objectively seems not great for survival#unrelated
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Who up and wanna take me out back and shoot me rn
#anybody else having like the worst fucking night of all time or just me !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m at the end of my rope !!!#I can’t take this shit anymore!!! (continues to take it)#first I go to help someone give her cat it’s FIP treatment and got bit like 14 times and then I went to the ER#and then it was super crowded and I felt like I was overreacting so I left#even tho I know I wasn’t lol I have enough experience with this shit to know this is bad#and then coming home I almost got in a fucking head on collision#and then got a message about a dead cat someone had hit and left on the side of the road#so I had to go get it and take it 20 minutes away to the emergency vet to be cremated#and the cat had clearly been recently pregnant which means there are kittens somewhere dying without her#so I’m gonna have to go back tomorrow and try to find them if they’re still alive#which means I’m gonna have to deal with the homeowners#fuck!!!!!!!#and that’s IF I’m not back in the ER in the morning if these bites get infected#like her teeth hit the bone in my finger lol#I might um. kill myself. idk#personal
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