#special treatment would’ve been being able to say Goodbye

[humofbumblebees]

hey, you guys think about how agatha’s probably so mad at rio because she didn’t get to say goodbye to nicky

[user21340]

my only exception

(i don’t own this gif or any of the characters in this fic)

summary: you and nat are separated when in the Red Room. you both are reunited. after holding onto a couple things to give her for a couple years you both realize love is well and alive.

warnings: violence, abuse, swearing, lil angst, fluff

pairing: natasha romanoff x fem!reader

word count: nearly 1.8k

a/n: omg i don’t know what to say! thank you for all the support on the stuff i’ve released so far. it’s super crazy seeing some of my favorite writers following me. thank you so so much for 30 followers! much love 💕💕

(italics in dialogue mean the person is speaking russian)

sorry for any mistakes i wrote this at 3am and have to get up for school at 6 😪 no bueno

It was a cold and stormy night as the power in the Red Room continuously flickered on and off even with the help of a high powered generator.

You and Natalia had been waiting for an event like this to occur so you could break out. Even though both herself and you lived only a small bit of life outside in the real world before you were taken in and trained to become a weapon, both of your humanly morals knew right from wrong. The Red Room’s treatment definitely being a wrong.

Madame B and the other monstrous staff at this facility put all you girls to bed roughly an hour ago. Nat and yourself undid your cuffs connecting your wrist to the metal bedframe so you could pack the few things you both owned before you made your escape. Both of you had talked this plan over through and through so you both were on the same page as soon as you saw that flicker of a power outage surge though the site.

At the moment you both were eighteen years old meaning both of you had proven yourselves worthy enough to hone a spot at this academy and had graduated a couple months prior.

GAME PLAN

Some information you had gathered which the staff weren’t aware of was every time the power flickered off, it disarmed and unlocked the exit door/s for nearly five seconds. The weather has been dry but cold lately not making this discovery too useful. The plan was to sneak over to uncuff yourselves in the middle of the night when these brief power outages were occurring, pack your items, and as you were about to escape bang on the wall of the large room where the girls kept at the academy would sleep to create enough of a distraction before you were out and free for good. Easy right? How wrong you’d be.

When it was time for the distraction, Nat stood by the door waiting for the next surge of lightning of whatever broke the electricities stability as you walked to the far side of the sleeping quarters where you were sure you’d have enough time to bang on the walls and sprint out of that door.

You heard a crash of thunder so you knew your escape chance would be soon. As you were about to start banging on the walls you see a door knob parallel to Nat but far away none the less start turning.

BAM

Lightning strikes, what seems to be right outside of the building. You sprint for the door only to have your arm caught by one of Madame B’s henchmen.

Just like that the power flickers.

five.

Without much thought you break away from the man’s grasp lunge at Natalia who happened to be at the door.

four.

“We’ll meet again Natalia.” you speak softly

three.

You shove her out of the door with all of your might.

two.

You use all of your remaining strength that you can muster up to slam the heavy metal door closed.

one.

Click

The door locks once again.

“You stupid little bitch. Get over here NOW!” the man practically growls.

You slowly and steadily walk over to the man as he gruesomely pummels and kicks you.

Sure the beatings, mind torture and manipulation hurt, but you’ve never experienced any kind of pain on the same caliber to what being separated from Natalia feels like.

Madame B is more than disappointed, enraged and annoyed with one of her ‘star students’. You receive daily beatings and long, tiresome training hours for helping Natalia escape. Although everyone is ‘replaceable’ in the minds of the staff as well as Madame B, they just lost Natalia so they couldn’t afford to lose you as well.

Months later the beatings finally slow down to a couple a week which you are able to endure. Madame’s mission now is to make a monster out of you by pushing you to and past your limits when training.

One night you finally drift off to sleep. You hate sleeping. It’s a constant replay of your last night with Nat. Only hoping that she made it to civilization safe and sound and is living a normal teens life. However, tonight’s dream is different. In this dream you see yourself shoving your packed-escape bag between your mattress and bedframe as you are bleeding out on the ground from the beatings. You wake up in a cold sweat and manage to kneel on the ground and slowly lift up your mattress only to find that same, small bag filled with the few, but important belongings of yours and Nat’s. You open up the bag forgetting all about what you both had packed. The most important items you see is a picture of Natalia as a toddler with alongside her mother and father, a small metal ring which you had made for her after stealing a small teaspoon at dinner, banging it against the concrete floor with a rock to flatten it out as you’d continuously bend it back and fourth so only the thinnest part is of the spoon is left which you bend into a ring before surprising Nat with it after you know she had a pretty rough day training, and lastly Nat’s papers containing important info about her such as her full name, birthplace, parents names, and birthdate.

November 22, 1984

November 22, 1984

November 22, 1984

November 22, 1984

You make sure you have this date burned into your head, latching onto any important information about her you can learn.

You hang onto those three items keeping them hidden.

Two and a half years later...

It’s late at night when you hear gunshots and fights breaking out throughout the facility. You quickly get up out of bed (once again undoing your cuffs) and grab those three items from under your mattress. You place them in your pocket getting ready to make a break for the outside world. As you reach for the door you turn back taking one last look at the place you’ve been living for pretty much the entirety of your life, only before a man in a funny red, white, and blue costume enters your view.

You bring your hands up ready for a fight.

“Look kid, I’m not here to fight you. We are breaking you out.” the man ensures

“Who even are you?” you sternly question

“Steve Rogers. But the public calls me Captain America.” his gaze settles on your figure, “Mind telling me who you are?” he pushes

“Names y/n, but look I’ve got places to be ma-“ you are cut off when Captain America’s jaw drops.

“No, we both know you don’t. But, you ARE coming with me.” you know there isn’t much room for protest but that won’t stop you from trying. You lunge at him and push him to the ground as you wave a small goodbye and sprint towards the door only for your body to fall on the ground limp. Realizing you’ve been stunned by something temporarily.

“YOU MOTHERFUCKER!” you shriek, he only chuckles.

“God, Nat was right about you.” she shakes he head with a small grin on his face.

“N-nat?” you whisper as you vision fades black.

You regain consciousness and look around only to find yourself in a weird windowy, loud vehicle type thing. You see a group of people standing around you but you see one particular familiar face hovering directly over yours lightly combing through your hair with one one hand and gently outlining your jawline with the other.

“NAT!” you screech, your brain is feeling too many emotions to comprehend at the moment.

Once she sees and hears you are awake she pulls you into a bone crushing hug.

“Y/n/n I’m so sorry I left you and you had to stay in that hellhole for so long alone I don’t know how I would’ve help up it if that-“ you cut her off

“Natalia, all that matters is I’m here with you right now.” you reason.

After getting off of what you learned is a ‘plane’ you and Nat spend hours together clinging onto one another as if, as soon as you separate you will be absent in her life for another couple years, vice versa.

Months pass by. Even though you and Nat have yet to label yourselves as a couple your hearts belong to one another after being attached to the hip to one another for pretty much every activity or mission you both do. In this time you were also recruited as an Avenger due to your skillful hand to hand combat and your masterful types of fighting you have nearly perfected from your time in the room.

The date just happens to be November 22. You are pretty sure no one in the compound is aware of Natalia’s birthday, hell, you aren’t even sure if she’s aware.

Today is the day you decide to return the missing items from her bag that you recover after she left.

You wake up next to her and wake her up with a long, graceful, soft kiss on her lips to which she responds shortly after by kissing you back as you feel as tiny smirk against your own lips.

“Hey, what was that for?” she asks playfully

“Ohhh nothing. Just maybe it’s for my favorite girl’s special day today.” Nat blushes.

“H-how’d you know?”

“Oh honey, I know e v e r y t h i n g.” you reply

Before she can respond you pull her to sit up on your shared bed and hand her an envelope containing her papers as well as he one and only photo of herself and her family.

As soon as she sees both items she sobs into your chest. (more because of the picture, you really only included her papers so she too would know all the most crucial parts of her life pre-red room era.

“Uh, uh, uh’” you tut,”One more thing.” you reach for her hand slowly and tell her to shut her eyes. You slowly slide the makeshift ring on her finger.

“Open.” you instruct

To which she gasps at the sight and just like the day you both were reunited you hugged and kissed for hours on end.

“Nat, will you be my girlfriend?” you ask with a sheepish smile.

“Of course y/n/n, I thought you’d never ask.” she takes a breath,“I know love is for children, but you are my only exception.”

“Ditto.” Natalia chuckles, “That is what the Americans say, right?” you backtrack with flushed cheeks.

She holds you tighter and presses a soft kiss to your forehead.

“Sure.” she breathes out.

[quirklessidiot]

Title: filthy rich [1/3] Pairing: millionare!sakusa kiyoomi x y/n [filthy capitalist au] Genre: romance, major angst ahead ,fluff, yandere!au-ish 

Synopsis: Your luck had just run out when you realized that you flirted with danger. [400 followers special]

Warnings: language and none...yet….[although i will put a trigger warning that is a controlling, abusive, and kind of a yandere relationship] Notes: 

Happy 460 followers i- look, i know i promised a long kita fanfic but i got more inspired to finish this and write this one because djjdjdjd ,,, anyways this was originally a kpop fanfic i wrote years ago and i switched it up to an omi fanfic. I don’t condone this type of relationship, if ya see this shit on your partner, please run (i beg of you)

also eheh the remaining two requests will be posted soon so uwu

next  ||  series masterlist || taglist 

“Hey Y/N.”

You look up from your medical textbook to find your aunt standing there with an expensive freshly pressed suit on her hand wrapped in plastic, you had been living with her along with her two younger kids in Tokyo after your parents decided to become humanitarian doctors. Wanting to explore and get out of your comfort zone, you ended up living in the big city along with your mother’s closest friend.

“Oh, hey obaasan.” you greeted, “What’s up?”

“Ah, you see, Shoyo is out now and no one will be able to deliver the suit to Sakusa-san, would you mind doing me a favor and delivering it for me?”

You shut your textbook and stood up from your chair, “Sure, uh- could I have his address?” you ask as you took the suit in plastic carefully from her hands, not wanting to damage something that cost as expensive as your tuition in med school. After saying goodbye to your aunt and carefully placing the suit at the back of your car, you drove your way to the upstate part of the city.

Your second hand car stood out like a sore thumb in the lane of expensive and flashy cars, you wanted to waltz in and out of here quickly. Following your aunt’s instruction’s, you march up to the front desk to hand the suit over to the receptionist, “I’m here to drop the laundry for Sakusa-sa-”

Before you could even finish your sentence, she snatched it away from your grasp. You narrow your eyes at her rather uncouth attitude, “Oh, cool...thanks…” you murmur, not wanting to cause a scene or pick a fight with the rude woman, you made a b-line towards the exit. Away from the judging and prying eyes of the people who were very much above you in terms of class and wealth.

The moment you step out though, you watch in horror as your car is being towed away, “Hey!” you exclaimed, hurriedly going to the worker who was writing something down on his clipboard, “Hey, wait! Please, excuse me?”

The worker turned to you with a questioning gaze as you immediately started to explain that you were in and out of the place and that you were just delivering some laundry but all you got was a shake in the head and the words, “It’s not up to me, that guy called us in.” He points his ballpen towards the man in a suit and paired with a surgical white mask on the phone, “...The parking here is for residents only and clearly you’re not one of them.” 

Your eyes almost widened at his explanation, just what was wrong with people who lived here?

You fumingly grab the piece of paper he hands to you and stuff it in your pocket as you march up to the stranger on the phone, “Hey, excuse me!” you proclaimed, there were a few on-lookers but you ignored them, you were seeing red with the treatment you’ve been receiving here. The raven-haired stranger ignores you, still on his phone so you call him out again and when you do, the darkest pair of obsidian eyes are on you.

You clenched your fists tightly as the quote ‘eat the rich’ comes into your head.

“There must be some mistake.” You began slowly, trying to put your anger at bay because you didn’t want the whole thing to escalate in public, “I’m in and out here, all i did was deliver and I didn't know-”

“Your ignorance doesn’t excuse you.”

“Excuse me?”

“Ignorance of the law excuses no one.” He simply states, “Also the car was on the way in my space and not even a parking spot.”

You let out a loud, sardonic laugh, “I’d be gone in two minutes if you waited.”

“You would’ve wasted my two minutes.” 

You clenched your fist tightly and as you were about to bite back on his snide remark, the receptionist from before intervenes, “Excuse me, he’s right. You aren’t allowed to park here.” she tries to look professional but you know she’s just siding with this idiot since he had the money.

“Right.” you nod, “You know what, fuck it, this blows. All I did was my job and I have to be shitted on because I don’t have money like Mr.fancy-pants over here.” You bellowed,your glare was intense as you turned around, stomping away before you would do anything you’d regret.

The stranger’s eyes towards you do not waver though, how interesting, he thought.

You never wanted to return to that place again, not only did you lose a lot of money to pay your toll fee for your car but you needed to buy a bunch of new books for the new semester. You groan out loud as you also realize that you needed to do a grocery run since all you had were empty packets of instant Ramen and water in your apartment.

Chunking the cue cards to the side, you made your way to the convenience store, the city was definitely alive tonight and amidst that, you look absolutely dead tired. Your eye bags were getting thicker, a few zits had popped out, and you had grown thin in an unhealthy way because of your food consumption.

Man, being in med school and being dumb wasn’t a very good combination.

Your thoughts are interrupted when your aunt calls you again and says you have to do deliveries tonight, “You remember Sakusa-san?” your aunt says on the other line.

You couldn’t help but grimace at the mention of the man and the memories of where he lived.

Man, did this Sakusa-san needed new neighbors.

“What does he need a suit for in this unholy hour?” You mentally groaned.

“He needs it for laundry, you can have the money when you pick it up.”

Your ears immediately perk up at the mention of cash, you decided to take public transportation since you didn’t want to risk getting your car toll away by that Sakusa guy’s wretched fancy-pants neighbor. Grocery shopping could wait another time, “Stupid rich people.” You muttered under your breath as you pushed open the entrance to find the same man who you despised, sitting there with a laundry basket next to him.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” You mumbled, sucking in a deep breath, you say, “Sakusa-san?”

“So I was right.” he says, pulling down his mask to reveal his sharp features, “You were the one who delivered my suit that day. It’s usually a young boy with a bike.”

Boy, this man was definitely at his prime, he was probably a good few years older than you and you bet he had the ladies swinging left and right with that face. Too bad he had a shitty attitude though.

“Well, that doesn’t give you an excuse to tow my car away.” you deadpan.

“How much do I owe you for the unfortunate accident then?” his tone was rich and low but you detected no remorse in it, it was as if waving huge chunks of money would help tremendously. The asshole couldn’t even properly say sorry to you because of the hard time you had to go through that time.

“None,” you scoffed, “Just hand me your laundry and pay the fee, we’ll call it even.”

The raven-haired man tilts his head and carefully hands you the laundry bag along with a wad of cash, your eyes immediately widen out of character, “Woah, wait-”

“For the troubles.” He simply replies, “Goodnight.”

You later found out that his full name was Sakusa Kiyoomi and not only was he rich, he was filthy rich. The man used to be a big volleyball player back or something when he was in high school and college but instead of becoming a pro player, he had inherited the family business.

“Huh, so he was a capitalist.” You stare at his picture at the morning paper which was coincidentally an article about him. You decided to forget about it, expecting to not see him after that night since Hinata had no classes or practices these upcoming weeks yet weirdly enough, he started to ask for you to pick up his laundry instead.

So you both fell into a strange routine, you’d pick up his laundry and return it the next day. He was also there to pick up his things and you no longer needed to talk to the rude receptionist. You were suspicious of him yet you decided to just overlook it, he gave good tips and he wasn’t as rude as the first time you met him, in fact, he made small conversations now and you sort of got to know the man.

You had a weird dynamic but strangely enough, it worked.

“L/N-san.” 

“Good evening,” You greeted per usual, holding out your hand yet his eyes squinted at the bandage on your hand.

“What happened.” the raven-haired man asked, his gaze zeroing on the wound that you got in one of your classes.

“I’m a med student...I cut myself instead of the cadaver in class.” you shrug nonchalantly as you wiggle your fingers, “It’s alright though, I’m not going to stain your suit that you keep putting back to the laundry for some odd reason.”

“You got hurt.”

“Happens to the best of us.”

Sakusa mutters something incoherent under his breath before saying, “I’ll take you to your car.”

“Woah there-”

The man ignores you as he walks ahead of you, this was certainly getting out of character, even for him who always asked for you, “Open it.” He orders as he points to the car door, you begrudgingly obliged and did as he said. He places the laundry inside and turns to you to give you his usual pay, “Take care of yourself next time, L/N-san.”

The very next day, your aunt hands you an expensive package of ointments on your doorstep. Your brows are furrowed together in confusion as she says that they’re from the millionaire himself. You pointedly look at the package in front of you, completely lost as to why someone like him would send something like this to the person who he wasn’t exactly close with.

“Y/N-saaaaan…” Hinata drowns, you snap your gaze from your notes to the young orange-haired boy, “I’ve got news!”

You had stopped working for your aunt since you found a job at your university’s library, not only were the hours more lax but they even minus some of the tuition as long as you worked there. It was definitely a win-win situation for you.

“What’s up, orange?” You asked.

“Remember Sakusa-san?”

You hum a reply, “What about him?”

“I think he likes you.”

You almost choke on your saliva when you heard that, this little brat, why you ought to-

“He looked really disappointed when I said that you didn’t work for us anymore.” Hinata explains, cutting your thoughts short, 

“Right.” You drawl, shaking your head, “Maybe you were just hard to look at, that’s why.”

“Hey!” He clenched his fists together and pouted at your tone, “I don’t even know why he likes you!”

You feel a vein pop in his forehead as you hear his insult,  you proceeded to chunk a pillow to his direction in which he successfully dodged, “Get your facts straight and I assure you, he doesn’t like me.” you grumbled, returning to your books.

Ultimately, you thought that you’d never see Sakusa Kiyoomi ever again. It was fairly obvious that outside your job, someone of high caliber as him was someone you’d never see again yet you're immediately thrown off guard when you find him standing there around your campus.

Your eyes widen in surprise, well what do you know? it was the devil himself.

“Sakusa-san.”

“L/N-san.”

Man, you may not have seen him for a month or two but despite wearing the mask, you could tell that  e still sported the same blank and basic bitch face behind it. Hinata was wrong in all ways, this guy wouldn’t like you, he’d probably deem you too low class for him, “What a surprise, it’s been a while.” You stiffly bowed down.

“You’re acting weird.” 

You raise your gaze to meet his and you could see the glint of amusement in his eyes.

“You’re most likely a guest in the university.” You mumbled, scratching your head, “People might come at me if I treated you as casually as before.”

Sakusa raises his brow, “That’s funny coming from someone who was this close to punching me during our first meeting.”

“You were being a dick that time.”

“How you have guts to say that to my face amazes me every time.”

“Oh yeah?” You chortled, amused by his statement, “I’m starting to think you’ve taken a liking on me.”

“Was it not obvious when I kept asking for you from Hinata-san?”

You immediately choke on the coffee you were sipping, burning your tongue in the process, “Okay what the hell, sakusa-san-” you said in between coughs.

Your freeze up when you look at him dead in the eye, his eyes crinkling, was he smiling behind the mask? No way, the Sakusa Kiyoomi was smiling at you? He pulls down his mask and bends down, making you retract your steps and your cheeks flush to a brightly red color, “You’re turning red.” he points out loud and that makes you turn even redder.

“You’re acting weird.”

“You were getting dense.” 

“How was I supposed to know...to know that…” You try to stutter out, completely embarrassed.

“To know what?” 

“You know what.” You grumbled, standing up a bit straighter and ignoring his teasing tone, “I’m not interested in you.”

“Your red cheeks say otherwise.”

“It’s the cold weather.” You harshly replied, looking away again, trying to avoid his gaze, “I’m not interested in a boyfriend, a flirting partner, or whatever that is. So good day!” 

You immediately stomp away, leaving Sakusa Kiyoomi with an amused smirk. How entertaining and adorable, you looked like a bunny. His cute bunny.

A few days had passed from that little interaction and you wanted to hurl yourself out the window whenever you thought about it. Sakusa Kiyoomi? The filthy rich capitalist Sakusa Kiyoomi? Interested in you? What kind of k-drama was this?

You tried to avoid going out much in the campus, Apparently he was around after he donated half a million to the medicine department.

You immediately groaned out loud at the thought, there was in no way that all this was possible!

“L/N-san.”

You immediately jump on the spot and drop your keys, “Holy fucking-” You pause, biting back your tongue, there he stood sporting a casual attire instead of a business suit and his usual face mask,  “Sakusa-san?”

“Kiyoomi.” He smoothly corrects.

“Nice. Very nice.” You dryly replied, “Heard you donated half a million and some new equipment to our department. Sweet.”

“You don’t look that happy.”

“I mean you basically confessed that you were interested then decided to donate to my department only.” You narrow your eyes suspiciously, “You remind me of a sugar daddy.”

“Well,” He shrugged, “You didn’t exactly deny that you wanted one.”

Your brain immediately short-circuits as you try to stutter out a reply, Sakusa looked like he’d been having a field day. Gone was the fiery girl he met a few months ago, he really knew what to say to reduce you to a stuttering mess.

“I’m kidding, L/N-san.” he deadpanned when he realized that you weren’t giving him a straight answer since your mind was jumbled up, “It was purely coincidental, we’ve been eyeing certain medicine departments and yours was performing top-notch. It doesn’t mean that I’m any less interested in taking you out.”

“You do know I’m poor right…” You sweatdrop, “I could easily take advantage of you-”

“One date, L/N-san…” he says, ignoring your very weak argument, “Just one then I’ll let you go.”

You don’t know why but you ended up saying yes that day.

You didn’t know what to expect on your first date and you had your fingers cross the whole time that he wouldn’t take you to an expensive michelin star restaurant since you didn’t have the clothes for the place.

Thankfully, the date was more casual than you expected, it was in his home and he had  cooked the meal himself.

“You’re looking oddly relieved.”

“I can’t function well in expensive restaurants.” You sweatdrop, covering your awkwardness with a laugh. You’ve never gone on dates before, the idea of being intimate with someone had made you feel awkward and bothered. 

“I’m not a big fan of public areas so I assure you we're not going on those anytime soon.” 

“Well aren’t you getting confident.” You raise a brow, teasing him a bit as you start to pick on the beef with your chopsticks.

“Call it a gut feeling, L/N-san.”

“Y/N.”

“What?”

“You asked me to call you Kiyoomi and well,” you turn red once again, “Well it would be awkward if you were all formal with me.”

You saw the small twinkle in his eyes, “Y/N.” your name rolls out of his tongue smoothly and you feel your heart hammering on your chest, “I like that, Y/N…” 

It was in that little moment that you realized that you liked it when he called your name.

The dinner went by without a hitch, Sakusa Kiyoomi was not the same arrogant man that the media portrayed him to be. He was quiet, understanding, and soft. Completely the opposite of the first day you met him. He urged you to talk more about yourself, saying how boring and open his life was since the media tailed him a lot.

“Why Tokyo?” 

“Why not?” You shrug, swishing the wine before taking a small sip, “It’s a great place, it’s new, and I had someone I knew here. My mom and Obaasan were good friends so I was allowed to move here on my own.”

“Are you coming back to your country if you’re done with your studies?”

You were silent for a moment, “I don’t think so. I wanna be like my parents.”

“A humanitarian doctor, huh?”

“Yeah.” You smile, “A humanitarian doctor. How about you? What’s your story?”

“Nothing interesting.” He glazed, “I’m an open book, Y/N.”

“Open book?” You tilt your head to the side, “You’re usually painted as an asshole by the media…”

“But you don’t believe it.”

“You kinda were when we first met.”

For the first time, you hear his soft chuckle and your heart starts beating fast. You liked that sound, you wanted to hear something like that again, “You always know how to amuse me, Y/N.” he shakes his head, “And for the record, just because I’m not comfortable with touches, public places and whatnot does not make me an asshole...I just am a very private person with interests…”

“What’s your interest now?”

“You.” He replied nonchalantly, making you look away..

“Stop.”

“What?”

“Stop doing that.”

“Doing what?”

“Flirting with me with a straight face like you mean it!” You choke out, turning red.

“Because I do mean it, Y/N.” He shrugs. “I am interested in you.”

It seemed like that little date you had turned out more successful than you thought, one date led to another and another. This went on for a few months until he asked you to be his partner one night at a very random place, you usually pictured Sakusa Kiyoomi to be the smooth type     you were, after all, always the stuttering mess between you two     but when he asks you to be his officially, outside the public restroom of all places with his ear tips turning red, your reduced to a heaping pile of giggles.

With men like him, you didn’t exactly expect anything more than the dates.

You should’ve known better that he was too good to be true.

general taglist for the next part is open aye

[timextoxhajima]

HOSTIS SPECIAL

Member: Lee Hyunjae

Genre: fluff and smut (because what’s a hostis special without smut)

Playlist: Literally a sex-playlist sigh

A/N: for vin, who feeds me with the ideas i need to write. the one who told me to write this piece and also told me what to include. so, though you already know what’s going to happen in this piece, i hope it curbs your hyunjae thirst ;) happy birthday love <3

Familiar fingers brush across your collarbone, tracing it as his lips are attached to the surface. The contact sends a harsh shiver through your body, but a smile of content parts your lips just as a soft sigh runs off your tongue.

He doesn’t say anything when your hands travel up his spine from his lower back, feeling his muscles shift under his skin. His shoulder blade protrudes out from his back as he repositions himself, giving him easier access to your neck and jaw. Your hand travels up further, thumb stroking the line where his hair goes under his scalp, then tangling your fingers through his brown locks on the back of his head. 

The treatment on your neck is more than adequate when you feel yourself getting hotter; more uncomfortable, in your home shorts. Shorts that you’d think Hyunjae wouldn’t give a second thought about but all he’s done the entire day was stare and grope at the flesh peeking out from beneath. 

Hyunjae’s pressing on your hip bone pulls you back to present; he’s keeping you from squirming too much.

“Hyunjae--”

“Mm? What do you need, kitten?” The whisper hits your skin in the form of a soft breath just before he starts trailing more kisses under your ear and along your jaw. 

“I just-- I don’t think I want to look like I just got fucked out at dinner--”

He finishes with a few more kisses and pulls away, eyes still refusing to shift away from the little, though not obvious, marks he’s left under your ear. 

Pushing himself off you, he lets his torso loom over yours, but puts tension on his upper arms and shoulders. HIs hair dangles off his forehead, eyes obviously clouded with some sense of lust but not enough for him to shut you up so he can finish whatever he wanted to do. “Aw, why not? Would be a fun story to tell.”

“Really?” You snort sarcastically, digging your thumb and index finger into his cheeks on either side of his face, trying to rid the desire in the air. “You really want me to tell Juyeon, your very hot pilot friend, that I was just screwed over--”

“Maybe I do,” An eyebrow raises itself. Something flips in your stomach, because no matter now many times Hyunjae does it, he’d still be able to push some button inside you that you didn’t even know existed. 

Definitely doesn’t help that his upper body was on display for you to gawk at, and just a minute ago, was pressed against yours, shirt already strewn on the floor. 

“Maybe...” He lowers himself, knees now on either sides of your hips, and traces your chin. His touch oozes with an unhealthy amount of disciplined desire, and it puts you on edge since it places you at a more disadvantageous position. “I want you to tell him that so he’d know I’m the only one who can make you feel the way you do.”

Then he presses his lips into yours. A gentle, yet somehow claiming kiss.

“But sure, I’ll let you have your way. I’m in a good mood today, thanks to those shorts of yours,” He smirks and tucks your hair behind your ear lightly. After kissing you on the cheek, he removes himself from the bed and pulls his shirt off the edge, leaving you against the pillows and admiring the shape of his hip hiding under the joggers he was wearing.

The lines by the side of his abdominal muscles would disappear under the rim, leading to where his--

“Hey,” The shirt covers your view as he calls out to you. “You have an hour to get ready, don’t go back on your word now. We do what you want to do, so you better make it worth it and not make me wait.”

Hyunjae disappears out of the room, leaving you lying with your stomach and chest exposed to the cool air of his room. 

The restaurant was beautiful, with a helipad just right out the door to the side and you had the honor of watching some rich director walk out of a helicopter, and be escorted to a table nearby. 

Juyeon thanks the person waiting on your table, who happened to be the outlet manager, leaving you in absolute awe at the food and at Juyeon. 

“So, why isn’t the Missus here with us?” Hyunjae starts the conversation just after Juyeon hands the two of you the utensils you needed.

“’Missus’?” He snorts. “We’ve been dating for a year, unlike some people, who’ve spent half their lives fighting with one another.”

Juyeon was wearing a white button up top with a dark blue, almost black, blazer with matching pants. His hair was done up and it’d be a lie if you said he wasn’t one of the most attractive people you’ve seen in your life. 

“To each their own; I didn’t pick her up from some random bar.”

“Ooh,” Juyeon squints. He knows it’s a joke. “Low blow.”

Hyunjae receives a smack from you on his arm, shooting him a look of disapproval. 

“It’s fine, he’s only being such an ass because you’re around. Otherwise, he’s the sweetest guy you’d ever know,” Juyeon’s defense in favour of Hyunjae surprises you a little, then you realise you’ve never really seen him with his friends. Maybe with Younghoon back in college, but otherwise, you’ve just been too busy avoiding him or plotting his murder. 

“Then again, you of all people would know how sweet he is.”

“Do I?” You turn to Hyunjae, wine glass in your hand as you take a sip. “Last time he was sweet to me, he was on one knee.”

Juyeon smiles, but you are only looking at Hyunjae, who has his lips pursed when he almost throws his napkin across the table. 

“Don’t you dare--”

“Hyunjae spent a week looking for the ring. He looked online, in physical stores... he even asked me if I could give him a plane ride to India.”

“Will you shut up--”

You are at a loss of words, for it is not like Hyunjae to ask anybody for a favour. It meant putting down his pride and asking for help, which he, of all people, isn’t accustomed to. 

“I wish I could stuff that chicken thigh down your throat.”

“He flew in this ring he’s been staring at for so long -- well, not that long, since it took him like five months to decide he wanted to propose to you--”

“Flew in?” Your eyes travel down to the ring on your right, middle finger. 

“From Paris.”

Hyunjae winces and presses his forehead into his palm, refusing to look at you but definitely shooting daggers through Juyeon. 

“You flew in this ring from Paris?” 

“We do not talk about this here.”

“Aww,” You coo and hug Hyunjae’s arm, resting your chin on his shoulder. “You are sweet.”

Hyunjae rolls his eyes, using his teeth to jab the inner side of his cheek. His eyes travel from the food to yours, now soft and all gooey after finding out the effort he put in into finding you the gorgeous silver ring with a crystal sitting in a floral wrap. 

Then Hyunjae leans forward and kisses you infront of Juyeon, stunning you because most of the time, he’d be into little ministrations under the table-- but this? This was just for display. 

Juyeon groans and scoffs, obviously looking embarrassed and slightly annoyed that the dinner he’s hosted has turned him into more of a third-party. Hyunjae pulls away and kisses your forehead before turning to Juyeon, knife in the air. 

“I’m gonna kill you, just so you know.”

“You can try but I’m sure she won’t let you.”

You smile, eyes definitely shimmering with all the love you’ve grown to embrace for Hyunjae as you plant a kiss on his cheek. 

The night grows fondly, with the sun setting then the night sky being lit up with the city lights you see in the distance from your table. By the time Juyeon has walked you both to the carpark, he is well aware of the mutual, simmering, warm affection between you and Hyunjae.

He would’ve said it’s disgusting to watch, especially after watching your duet fight till death so many times over, but he didn’t want ruin his own view of Hyunjae being so happy. 

He’d smile every time he looked at you, even if you weren’t looking back at him. 

“So,” Juyeon stops before Hyunjae’s car as the headlights beeped on. “When am I seeing the both of you again? Or am I expecting a call to be your best man?”

The car door unlocks just before you pull it open. You snort, knowing that Hyunjae’s idea of a wedding was too far away; both of you were too busy with work to even start planning one. 

“Doubt it’d be anytime soon,” Hyunjae gets the driver’s door open. “But I’ll see you again, that’s for sure.”

Juyeon grins and shoves his hands into his pockets, nodding. “Bye, safe trip home.”

“Bye, Juyeon.”

Your fiance glances across the roof of the car upon your bidding goodbye, flashing you a tiny look of disapproval when he notices how your voice went up a few pitches. 

You help yourself into the car and Hyunjae shortly after, Juyeon moving away for him to drive out and waves goodbye to the both of you. 

When the car hits the streets and the lights alternate themselves, your eyes are so accustomed to having them plastered to the outside world, taking all the sights in. It wasn’t a usual drive to the tower you just had dinner at, so all the views were different.

The buildings were taller, brighter, no hospital in sight. 

But old habits die hard and Hyunjae decides to disrupt your peace, albeit already used to it. 

“This is your first proper meeting with Juyeon, right? How was it?”

You notice him turning to your in the window, and it wasn’t tough to read the look in his eyes. 

He’s scared you saw something in Juyeon that he doesn’t have.

But Hyunjae will not cower and admit, he’d put up a fight to protect his pride even if you did assure him otherwise. 

“He’s alright,” You pause. “A sight to behold.”

“I was worried I was imagining things when I noticed the way you looked at him.”

It snaps it into your head that this insecurity is turning into jealousy, and Hyunjae’s jealousy is a force to be reckoned with. 

“He is gorgeous, you can’t deny that.”

“I’ll deny it because I’m straight and he’s got enough going on for him.”

Hyunjae’s now slightly-harsh tone surprises you, though not alarmingly. 

“Just because you’re straight doesn’t mean you can’t say he’s gorgeous.”

“Is that the only thing you can say about Juyeon?” He turns to you, eyebrow raised as the car comes to a stop at a red light. “‘Gorgeous’?”

Leaning your head back onto the car seat, you eye him from the corner of your vision, a soft smirk coming on your lips.

“You’re jealous and you’re not even trying to hide it.”

The arrogant scoff that tears through the air with a roll of his eyes back to the road is an enticing sound to your ears. With his right arm on the steering wheel, he displays all the strained veins on his arm, because that’s just how hard he’s gripping it. 

“Surely I have some credit for feeling jealous over my fiancé calling my best friend ‘gorgeous’?”

It is seething out from him pore to pore, and there isn’t a single strand of hair on Hyunjae that’s trying to hide it. 

No longer surprising the way Hyunjae handles you -- careful but harsh and claiming -- he doesn’t hesitate to cup your jaw and cheeks in his hands while using your body to shut the front door of his house. 

“My God,” He breathes against your lips, pulling away only to speak, otherwise his lips are attached to yours. “You’re already mine but I can’t stand the way you call someone else ‘gorgeous’.”

His blatant admittance draws a thick chuckle from your gut, motivating you to wrap your arms around him to tighten the gap between your torsos. 

“I know you don’t like it, but it’s never boring to see your reaction.”

Hyunjae doesn’t stop, only allowing the kisses to get harsher according to his needs and the desires filling his veins. He picks you up by your thighs, one arm supporting your rear while he pushes both your shoes off and removing his own with just his feet. 

It doesn’t take too long for him to get the both of you to his bedroom, clothes already pulled out from under your skirt and his pants and on the brink of coming off your skin altogether. 

Hyunjae dips his nose into your neck, shutting your eyes despite your fingers desperately trying to find the buttons of his formal wear. His skin feels stretched and feeling his muscles shift under your fingerpads alleviates all your senses.

Never gets old. 

He pulls away only to remove his shirt, returning to your gown and holding you up to pull down the zipper on the back and letting the straps fall down your arms to your elbows. Distracting you by returning to your lips, he gives himself space to remove your clothes, letting the cool (but now slightly warm) air kiss your exposed skin. 

Every breath he leaves on you is light but needy, and every kiss feels like it was timed; like it was meant to happen. It doesn’t show the ten years of fighting you’ve been through with him. 

Hyunjae loves your body the way he said he would, and even if he would never admit it or write it out explicitly in words, he would never hurt you more than he intended. 

He doesn’t remove any of your lingerie besides your underwear, which is strange because he usually likes to see all of you, for he likes to revel in the fact that you are his and his only.

So when he reaches under the bed and pulls out a small, newly opened package, your attention is being sought after by that mysterious box.

“What the Hell is that?”

Then that smirk returns from the depths of Hell, just like you asked. 

“Why in the world do you-- no, wait--”

“Come on, kitten,” That devious smile makes you wetter, against your liking, but your brain is yelling ‘no’ because you know this is just another way he can snap you like a twig. “You’ve had your fun, now let me have mine.”

You watch with a mixture of terror and lust as he removes the device from the package, and it is almost embarrassing to watch him turn it on without even checking for the batteries. 

He’s planned this.

“Hyunjae--”

“Trust me, kitten,” His warmth breath hits your neediness, clenching your jaw to prevent the moan from escaping your mouth. Then, he presses the device to your skin, the most sensitive point on your body, and it sends you over an edge you didn’t even know existed.

Your back archs off the bed, head thrown back into the pillows when you feel the vibrations pulse through your abdomen and then throughout your entire body. Hyunjae slides two digits in with ease, tongue also busy flicking all the space where the device wasn’t being ruthlessly pressed against. 

The blanket gets tangled in your right hand, and your left finds your teeth to bite. 

His fingers increase their speed while the dangerous, circular device still running innocent, yet gut-clenching sensations through your nerves.

It was a mistake to look down, for Hyunjae looks up at your through his lashes and his slightly sweaty fringe, eyes clouded with lust and desire to ensure you were getting all the pleasure he could offer.

And the eye contact flips a switch somewhere inside, and his finger finds the spot alongside the constant vibrations from the device.

“Oh-- fucking Hell-- Hyunjae--”

The silence is painful, and he lets you near your climax, fingers coated with your lust and whimsical whines. 

Then just before you release, he removes the device and his fingers, causing a frustrated groan to erupt from your chest and your bloodshot eyes ready to shoot daggers through him. 

You sit up, forgetting about your needs and only wanting to choke him to death. But Hyunjae beats you to it, hand flying out to hold you back down to the bed by your throat, and silencing you with a harsh, messy kiss. 

“I know you don’t like it, but it’s never boring to see your reaction.”

The words boil and fuel your love for him, for this is why you are his and he is yours. 

You are half of Ares, and he completes you the same way you complete him.

He captures you by the lips again, allowing your hands to undo his belt and remove his pants all too impatiently before he gets rid of it with your aggressive pushing. 

You can feel his smile against your lips, and it makes the kiss all the more sweeter. Knowing that he breathes and sighs into you, giving you all that he is makes you yearn for more. 

His uneven shifting tells you he’s gotten rid of his underwear, then you feel him prodding at your entrance as he’s removing your bra.

“I love you so much.”

He stares into your eyes, not a spark of hatred or resentment the way he’d look at you just months ago, and it feels like the Hell you’ve promised to live with him, if not better. 

“I love you too.”

The bliss when he fills you perfectly erupts goosebumps all over your skin, and his nose dips into your neck while your palms find his shoulder blades, nails ready to dig into his skin. His scent is toxicatingly addictive, where the mixture of his sweat and leftover cologne from the dinner appointment forces you to drink all of the pleasure he’s offering you as he grinds his hips into yours.

The remnants from the vibrator has already given him some leeway, so it doesn’t take long for him to find that spot again, above all the nibbling he was doing to your neck and collarbone. 

Your nails must’ve left a mark on his back, though you were too pre-occupied with the violent spasming from your climax. 

Hyunjae helps you ride out yours while chasing his, and his breathy growls in the back of his throat tells you he was nearing his as well. 

“Don’t pull out.”

“What?” His hair sticks to his forehead, and the view of his pelvis ramming against your already max-ed out core turns you on again. “Are you-- sure?”

“Do it before I change my mind.”

The veins on his arms by your head were about to explode, and the view of him above you becomes too much for you to handle, so you push him down by the back of his neck to meet your lips again. 

The thrusts don’t stop, and he helps you find that climax again within an unbelievable amount of time. 

Then he abruptly offers a harsh jerk, then another, and you hit your second climax with him groaning messily into your lips. His hips and thighs are shaking under yours, giving him seconds just before he slowly pulls out and removes himself off you. 

The panting, the smell of sex in the air and the trickling of his release down your legs make you feel like a satisfied mess, with an absolute void of complaint. 

Hyunjae is spent, but he still finds the strength to pick you up and bring you into the bathroom, helping you wash all of him that was still dripping out of you, every now and then giving you a kiss on your skin where he could reach. 

The bed feels extra comfy, now that the both of you were spent from your love-making. And being cuddled up against his chest in your pajamas makes it all the more worth it. 

[hayloinbloom]

I didn’t want to create a post that would pop up in my memories next year, but I realized this is going to be in my memory forever anyway. I’ve also been reminded that my fur baby is so well known and beloved, that people always ask about him, and I don’t have the energy to repeat this story 100 times, so here I go.

Almost a month ago, my baby boy passed away at the Ames animal hospital, with me holding onto him, repeating “I love you,” and surrounded by six other people that loved us both. In summary: He was fine. He was just fine. And then he wasn’t. I drove him to the ER in Ames at 1 o’clock in the morning a couple days prior, and they found some things that are very typical health issues in elderly cats, that were treatable. He rallied. He was doing so well that on Friday night, the vet assigned to him called and told me I would be able to pick him up and take him home the next day. At 6:30 the following morning, I received a very different phone call. His chances were 50-50. I was willing to bet on those odds and approved further treatment. I drove to Ames immediately, and the other loved ones followed soon after. Unfortunately, his blood work got worse, and worse, and worse. His body had turned on him. Due to his age, I had given thought to how I would want his departure day to be handled. I would’ve preferred that our local vet could have come to the home so he could pass with that comfort. But being that wasn’t an option, because he wouldn’t have made it all the way home, the way the hospital orchestrated it was truly the second best option. I didn’t have to say goodbye to my baby while he laid on a cold metal table. He was in a little hospital bed with blankets keeping him warm, in a room with no harsh fluorescent lighting, and comfy chairs so everyone could gather. I am forever grateful to Dr. Mason, and all the other staff that did their very best to try to save him.

It just came out of nowhere, and has been shocking and traumatizing. I know 15 years is a full life for a cat and I am grateful for that. But I still feel like his life was cut short. In terms of my grieving process, I’m in the middle of the “what ifs,” and self blame, and endlessly searching my memory to figure out if I missed any little signs. Most of all I just miss him terribly. This whole thing makes me sick.

As much as I can’t believe this happened, I also can’t believe how lucky I am that he was mine. And still *is* mine. I have so many stories about this cat- everyone who met him saw for themselves that I was not just a crazy cat lady telling stories through my own lens- he really was quite the cat. All pets are special, but he just had that extra something. As my husband put it, we weren’t just connected at the hip, we were “intertwined.” He was just the best. I love you forever, my sweet baby boy. Thank you for everything. 

My heart is broken.

[soobiniebaby]

Angels & Devils Part XI : I’m Yours, You’re Mine

A n g e l s   &   D e v i l s || Tomorrow x Together Fanfiction

~ p a r t s : main post || prologue || part 1 || part 2 || part 3 || part 4 || part 5 || part 6 || part 7 || part 8 || part 9 || part 10 || part 11 || part 12 || part 13 || part 14 || part 15 || part 16 || part 17 ~ p a i r i n g : love triangle involving choi soobin and choi yeonjun  ~ g e n r e : high school au | some social media au | some fluff & angst | childhood friends | love triangle  ~ l a n g u a g e : English  ~ w a r n i n g : contains swearing, alcohol, kissing (?) and may contain mature themes (angst, etc.)  ~ a / n : This will be my first fanfic (go easy on me pls) and i’m just writing this as I go along, so bear with me juseyo The setting (place/country) of the story is up to the reader’s interpretation ~ s u m m a r y : What should she choose? Han Baby: the new girl with a troubled past MO Academy: her new high school Choi Soobin: student council president, member of the Ecosave club, volunteer at the Humane Treatment of Animals, member of the Honor Society, a vocalist in the Jazzed club, the school’s all around golden boy Choi Yeonjun: leader of the Dance club, star of the Jazzed club, the school’s it boy with a bad rep 5 best friends, 1 new girl, 1 childhood friendship, 1 epic love triangle? What will this school year bring?

Over the weekend, B and Kai had spent most of their time lounging around the living room, finishing the entire season of It’s Okay to Not Be Okay on Netflix on Saturday and having a movie marathon on Sunday. They ordered all their meals and had all the food they wanted delivered to the apartment, their food cravings ranging from donuts and milk tea to egg tarts and mint chocolate ice cream. It felt like one of the many sleepovers they used to have when they were kids, only now it was just the 2 of them in a place of their own, without nosy siblings or strict parents to bother them or tell them what they could or couldn’t do.

Other than stuffing their faces with food and drowning their emotions in Netflix, they finally had all the time in the world to do all the catching up that they hadn’t been able to, asking questions and telling stories about what they had missed out on each other’s lives through the years.

“First kiss?” B asks.

“Oh, I think I was in the 7th grade, and it was with Im Yeojin. You?”

“Lucas Wong. A couple of years ago.” B responds.

Kai shakes his head. “That guy was your first kiss ever? Lucas? Your ex?”

B nods. “The one and only. Next question please?”

“Alright, worst ex?” Kai asks intentionally.

“Ningning, you know I’ve only had 1 boyfriend.”

“Yes, and he was the worst! He had the audacity to cheat on you! And all because you wouldn’t ‘put out?’ He's lucky I lived 3 hours away or else I would’ve kicked his ass.” Kai says, huffing.

B laughs, trying to swallow down the lump in her throat that formed whenever she talked about her horrible ex boyfriend. There was so much more to their relationship than him cheating on her cause she wouldn’t put out, but she wasn’t ready to let her best friend know all about it just yet. “Thanks, but judging by the size of his biceps, I don’t think that could’ve ever happened anyway.”

Kai pouts. “Are you saying I should start going to the gym?”

B laughs at him dismissively before changing the subject.

Also, sharing a living space with another person was also a bit of an adjustment for B since she had already gotten used to living alone. Her apartment only had one bathroom which she now shared with Kai, and now she had to keep all her personal toiletries set aside and her feminine hygiene products kept away, not wanting a repeat of the horrifying moment when her best friend walked out of the bathroom with his face all red.

“What happened to you?” she had asked, noticing how flushed he looked after being in the bathroom for 20 minutes.

“You know that when I’m, um, taking a shit I like to read the back of labels of whatever I see in the bathroom, right?” Kai starts slowly.

“Okay, weird, but go on.”

He takes a big gulp before continuing. “Well, let’s just say I now know how to properly put on a tampon. And let me just say, I’m glad I wasn’t born a woman.”

After that incident, B made sure to keep all feminine hygiene products hidden away in the bathroom cabinets. She ensured to leave a stack of random books and magazines on the bathroom counters so Kai would have something to read when doing his business. Other than that, B also had to remind herself that it was no longer socially acceptable to walk around her apartment in nothing but a tshirt and underwear on, since she had gotten used to roaming the space without worrying about other people seeing what she looked like. She usually went to bed in just a shirt and underwear and roll out of bed and straight into the kitchen for breakfast without a care in the world. Now, she had to double check and make sure that she was wearing bottoms and a bra before stepping out of her bedroom.

Even though there were many things she hadn’t considered before inviting a guy to stay in her apartment, she had to admit that it was nice to have company around. She hadn’t realized how lonely it was to live alone until Kai had come along, and now she was already sort of dreading the day when he’d get better and move out. She was starting to consider finding a room mate before then, knowing that she’d feel lonely once her company had to leave.

Come Monday morning, B woke up feeling excited. She rolled out of bed, put on a pair of shorts, and made her way to the kitchen, only to be surprised by the sight of breakfast already prepared on the table. A plate full of bacon and sunny side up eggs, a bowl full of fresh fruit and cereal, and a glass of blue lemonade were all neatly laid out on the table, and Kai was sitting there with an apron still tied around his waist. When he saw B step out from her room, he immediately greeted her “Wakey wakey Baba, time to go back to school!”

B rubs the sleep from her eyes, making sure she wasn’t just dreaming that Kai had prepared breakfast for her. Once the smell of freshly cooked bacon filled wafted in the air, she immediately brightens up and walks on over to give her best friend a hug.

“Ningning, you did all this for me? Thank you so much!” she says in awe.

“Yup, I wanted to make it special since it’ll be your first day back at MOA today.” Kai says. “Now hurry up before it gets cold. You have to be ready in 40 minutes.”

B all but gobbles up all the food that Kai had prepared for her before jumping into the shower, drying her hair, putting on some make up and changing into her school uniform, making sure she had everything she needed before letting Kai walk her to the front door.

“Have fun, Baba!” Kai says.

“Sure thing. Make sure to keep the door locked and call me if you need anything.” she says, waving goodbye before making her way downstairs to meet Taehyun.

As soon as Taehyun sees her, his eyes visibly light up.

“B! Finally, I’ve missed you so much.” he says, waving hello before stretching his arms out towards her. “Come here!”

B excitedly runs up, preparing to hug Taehyun, until at the last minute he folds his hands across his chest and takes a step back, which stops her in her tracks.

“On second thought, don’t touch me. You may be medically cleared already, but since Hyuka’s staying with you, you might still be carrying the pox.” he says. It’s only then when she notices that he was wearing a face mask and had a small spray bottle of alcohol hanging from his school ID lace.

She smiles at him sheepishly. “I missed you too, you know.” she says, opting to wrap her arms around her own torso instead.

He laughs at her silly antics before following suit, wrapping his arms around himself. “Let’s just pretend that we’re hugging right now.”

B nods. “Alrighty. Thanks, Tyun.”

“Don’t mention it. Now come on, put on your face mask and make sure you have hand sanitizer before we go.” he says, adjusting the mask on his face.

She puts on a mask and puts a small bottle of hand sanitizer in her pocket before they start making their way to school.

“I’ve missed these walks of ours.” B says happily, breathing in the morning air.

“I’ve missed them too. And I’ve missed you. School was a bit boring without you, and walking to school alone just didn’t feel the same.”

“How have things at MOA been, apart from the health protocols? And how are the guys?” B asks.

“Apart from the implementation of health protocols, school has pretty much been the same. The guys miss you. I think they’re excited to see you.” Taehyun responds.

“I miss them too.” B says, sighing. She and Yeonjun had FaceTimed every night through the weekend, but she missed him, and she felt a bit sad that they had to cancel their supposed last date. She had to admit that she missed the other guys too. “What makes you think they’re excited to see me, though?”

“They told me to ask you if you could meet them by the front gate of MOA before classes start this morning.” Taehyun says.

“Oh? They did? Weird, but okay. I wonder why.” B says, trying to think of why they might want to meet up. “How have you been? Has anything in your life changed in the past week?” she asks.

Taehyun shrugs. “Not really, same old same old. Just the usual studying at school and working at the café.” he says. “What about you? How have you been doing?”

B shrugs too, mimicking his response. “I’ve been good, nothing much going on.” she says casually, which was a lie. She wanted to tell him about Yeonjun and about how he asked her out and all the dates he put together, but a part of her was scared about how he’d react, so she thought it would be better to tell him when the time was right.

As she and Taehyun approach the campus, her eyes catch sight of 3 familiar figures standing right outside of the gates, particularly to the head of blue hair.

B feels her heart jump out of her chest, speeding up her walking, and Taehyun runs to catch up to her as she starts waving her arms in the air the closer they got until the 3 boys look up in her direction and they all wave back.

“Seriously, you 3, why aren’t you wearing face masks?” Taehyun says as they meet the 3 boys outside the gate.

“Well good morning to you too, Tyun.” Beomgyu says playfully. “Relax, we’re not within campus grounds so we don’t have to wear masks yet.”

B laughs at their banter. “I think Tyun’s just worried that you’ll catch Kai’s chicken pox germs if you stand too close to me without a mask on.” she jokes. “So, why are we meeting up here outside the gates instead of at the front steps like we usually do?”

“Hey, B! Good to see you again.” Beomgyu says.

“Well, you see, there are new health protocols set in place on campus right now, and as members of the student council, we can never be caught violating any rules set within the school.” Yeonjun begins, smiling at her brightly, like there was a secret that only the 2 of them shared.

“Alright, and…?” B asks, not sure where they were going with this.

“And before we go in and start off another week of school, there’s just this 1 health protocol we’d like to violate.” Beomgyu continues.

“Okay, which one? Is it the face mask thing? Why are we standing outside the school gates?” B asks, still confused.

“So we can do this.” Soobin says, before taking a step towards B with arms outstretched and pulling her into him, his whole body engulfing her in a hug.

He feels time stop the moment his arms wrap themselves around her body, her face buried in his chest, the top of her head inches away from his chin, the smell of her lavender-scented shampoo tickling his nose, his hands resting on the curves in her waist.

When Soobin woke up feeling excited that day, he told himself it was just because he was excited to start a new week of school, but deep down he knew that wasn’t the case.

When the guys suggested that they wait for B outside the school gates so that they could greet her a proper ‘welcome back,’ he felt a flutter in his chest, and he told himself that it was just because he was happy that their group would be complete again (minus Kai), but deep down, he knew he was only fooling himself.

When he and the guys stood outside the school gates waiting for B and Taehyun to arrive, he could feel his heart start to beat even faster in anticipation, and he told himself it was just because he was looking forward to see their friend again after a whole week, but he knew there was more to it than that.

When he saw her waving her arms in the air and walking towards them, he felt his breath catch in his throat, and he told himself it was just because he was surprised to see her looking so radiant and healthy knowing how badly sick she was, but he knew it was because of how he was just now realizing how beautiful she really was.

When he took a step towards her and engulfed her delicate figure in his arms, feeling the warmth of her body against his, a feeling washed over him unlike anything he’s experienced before, as if by having her in his arms everything in the world was finally falling into place and the pounding in his chest and the flutter of butterfly wings in his stomach finally made sense, and it was at that moment he knew with absolute certainty just what it was.

It was her. It was B.

He didn’t know how it came to be, or why exactly it happened, but all he knew was that it was her.

It was him realizing that he was falling in love with her.

And the feeling hit him so suddenly with such clarity that for a moment, it felt like the whole world stood still, as his breath seemed to catch in his throat and time seemed to stop as he held her in his arms, savoring the moment and all the emotions that were hitting him all at once.

She lets out a surprised squeal as Soobin pulls her in, only to be muffled by her face being buried in his chest as they embrace.

“Soobinie!” she says, laughing in surprise. “I missed you too.”

Soobin smiles to himself, tempted to rest his chin on her head, but he was aware of the presence of their friends, so he slowly lets her go, his eyes meeting Taehyun’s as he does, and Taehyun’s expression quickly changes as he realizes what was happening.

Taehyun raises his brows in question, and Soobin gives him a quick and discreet nod in response, to which Taehyun shakes his head.

Soobin keeps his head down to conceal the blush creeping into his face as B steps away and Beomgyu tackles her into a hug.

“We missed you so much! I wish I could’ve gotten an excuse to skip school for a week too, though.” Beomgyu says slyly.

“Hey, I did not skip school! I called you everyday to listen in on lectures, remember?” B says defensively, hitting Beomgyu’s chest. “If you wanna stay at home so bad, maybe you should come over to my place. I’m sure Hyuka would gladly give you a big hug, along with the chicken pox of course.”

Beomgyu steps away and holds his hands up in the air in front of him. “No way, I don’t want chicken pox. I’d rather endure school than have hideous spots all over my body.”

B looks at him offended. “You think I have hideous spots all over my body?” she says through gritted teeth.

“Oh, now you’ve done it, Gyu.” Taehyun says, watching as Beomgyu runs away from B to hide behind him. “Don’t worry B, I’ll help you kidnap him after school. I think Hyuka would like to have an extra playmate.”

“I never said that!” Beomgyu cries, running from Taehyun to Yeonjun now, hiding behind the blue haired boy. “B, you look beautiful as always. If anything, the spots just accentuate your beauty.” he says desperately.

B scoffs. “Oh shut up. You’re lucky I like you, or else I would’ve slapped you so hard that the spots would transfer from my skin to yours.”

Yeonjun laughs, shielding Beomgyu behind him. “Wow, I never pegged you to be violent.” he says.

B shrugs. “I’m not. I’m just saying, I could slap someone if I wanted to.”

Yeonjun shakes his head, pulling her into his arms. “Welcome back, Baby.” he whispers in her ear, giving her a quick peck on the cheek and slowly stroking the small of her back, making sure that the other boys don’t see, before letting her go.

Once she pulls away, her face is noticeably red, and Yeonjun can’t help but laugh. God, she looked adorable. He gives her a quick wink before saying “And now that that’s settled, shall we head to class?”

The 3 boys put on their facemasks and let B lead the way into the school gates, each of them having their body temperatures checked and their hands disinfected before walking through the gates.

As B walks ahead of the boys, the 4 boys pair off.

Beomgyu slings an arm around Yeonjun’s shoulders, keeping his voice low as he says “So now that’s she’s back, will you guys have the talk now?”

“What talk?” Yeonjun asks.

“The talk? The relationship talk. You know, the talk about your feelings and where you guys stand and what your label is and stuff like that.” Beomgyu says knowingly. “If the 2 of you don’t want to put a label on whatever it is you 2 are, then you should at least let the other guys know that you’re dating.”

Yeonjun shrugs. “Don’t worry, Gyu. I’ve got it all planned out, you’ll see. I’ve been planning this for days now, but considering that we’re at school, I’ll have to make do. At the end of the day, we might even let you guys know about us.” he responds, his eyes glued to the girl in front of them, which automatically puts a smile on his face. “I’m gonna make that girl mine.”

Meanwhile, Taehyun attempts to sling his arm around Soobin’s shoulders, but with the other boy being much taller and walking a bit faster, he settled for interlocking his arm around Soobin’s instead.

“Oh, hey Tyun.” Soobin says, surprised by the sudden lock on his arm. “What’s up?”

“’What’s up?’” Taehyun says, mimicking him. “You tell me. All your questions about falling in love and stuff…were they about B? Is it her? Are you in love with—”

Soobin cuts him off. “Shhh, the other guys might hear you!” he says, hurriedly looking around and seeing that no one was within ear shot. “Yes, it’s about her. Let’s talk about this later, okay? Alone.”

Taehyun sighs. “Fine, but wow, I should’ve known. I had a feeling it was her. You 2 would make a great couple.” he says teasingly.

“Oh shut up, you know-it-all.” Soobin says, flustered. “I’m sure you would’ve figured it out sooner or later anyway, you’re too damn smart, you know?”

Taehyun laughs. “It doesn’t take a genius to see that you’ve got it bad, Binnie.” he says. “Let’s talk about it soon, okay? Just hang in there.”

Soobin sighs, his eyes focus on the girl walking in front of them. “Trust me, I’m trying.”

•°•

B had to admit that Yeonjun’s sudden request had her heart fluttering, but more than anything it got her head buzzing with curiosity. Within 5 minutes she had excused herself from class, 3rd period biology which she didn’t share with any of the guys, and she was on her way to the student council room, which she had only been to once before with Soobin and Yeonjun. Technically, she was cutting class, but a few minutes probably wouldn’t hurt.

B takes a deep breath, not knowing what quite to expect, before turning the knob on the double doors to the student council room, taking a step inside.

The room was dark, the blackout curtains doing their job, and was only illuminated by the light spilling in from the door and a set of candles in the middle of the conference table, which also highlighted the fact that the conference table seemed to be overflowing with blue rose petals.

And there was Yeonjun, leaning against the table, a single blue rose in his hand. It’s only then when B looks down and notices that the carpeted floor all the way from the entrance of the room to the spot where Yeonjun was standing by the conference table was littered with blue rose petals.

“Yeonjun? What is this?” B asks, stepping inside and closing the door behind her, the only source of light in the room now coming from the candles. She removes her face mask, noticing that he wasn’t currently wearing one, and pockets it in her blazer.

“Baby. Come here.” he says, patting the spot on the table beside him. B walks over to the table, stepping on countless blue petals as she did so, and once she reaches him, Yeonjun takes her by surprise and carries her, lifting her up and setting her down on the table.

“Yeonjun!” she squeals in surprise, clinging on to him for dear life. As her bottom hits the table, she lets go and whacks his arm. “You surprised me!” she huffs, surprised by his sudden maneuver. “And you’re breaking the health protocols! What’s all this for anyway?”

He stands in front of her, simply staring at her, admiring how she looked in the candlelight. A few blue petals had fallen over the edge when he set her down on the table, but that didn’t bother him. He had skipped the entirety of 3rd period to prepare for this moment, so he wouldn’t let anything distract him now.

“All this?” he simply says. Upon seeing the confused look on her face, he takes a step towards her, situating himself in between her dangling legs, and he rests his hands on either side of her, his palms laid flat on the table just centimeters away from her thighs. The whole mood in the room shifted from playful to something different with just that simple action. “All this is for you.”

B could feel her heart start to pound in her chest again. She tried to keep a level head but Yeonjun was standing so close that she could smell him, the scent of his cologne now very familiar to her, and she could feel parts of his uniform lightly tickling at her inner thighs where he stood, sending shivers down her spine. “For me? Why?”

“Because, Baby, you deserve it. You deserve all of it.” he begins carefully, slowly, his gaze locking her in place. “I told you I want to give you all the good things you deserve, and during the past week I tried. Those dates meant a lot to me and I can only hope that you enjoyed them half as much as I did. My plans were cut short because of your unexpected temporary roommate,” he says, fondly referring to Kai, “and maybe I should’ve waited a little bit longer to do this, but I don’t think I can keep this to myself any longer.”

B looks down then, her cheeks starting to heat up. She sees how close his hands are to her thighs and her mouth goes dry. He was standing so close. “What are you talking about?” she says, her eyes transfixed on his hands.

Her eyes follow as he raises one hand to cup her face, lifting it up slightly to meet his gaze. “I want you, Baby.” he says, looking right into her eyes. “I want you to be mine.”

B takes a deep breath, finding herself unable to look away, before she says “I want you, too.”

And with those words, Yeonjun couldn’t resist any longer. He leaned forward, closing what little distance was left between them, and pulled her face up to his, their lips crashing together.

~ w a r n i n g : makeout scene  ~

Praying that he couldn’t hear her pounding heartbeat, B returns the kiss with equal fervor, wrapping her arms around his neck to pull him even closer. Her fingers entwine themselves in the hair at the nape of his neck, effectively disheveling his blue hair.

Yeonjun’s hands inch away from the table and come in direct contact with her thighs, the sudden warmth of his palms on her bare skin causing B’s mouth to open a little to let out a breath of surprise. She feels him smile against her lips, amused by her reaction, before taking the opportunity to trace her lower lip with his tongue, seeking entrance, which she allows.

His hands start to move slowly up her body then, he slides them up from her thighs to her waist, her skirt hiking up a few inches higher in the process. He breaks the kiss, allowing a moment for them to catch their breaths, before bowing his head down, his lips coming in contact with the sensitive skin on her neck.

“Oh god.” B breathes out, surprised by the contact, and again she feels his lips form a smile against her skin. She tilts her head backwards, his lips trailing kisses along her exposed skin, her heavy breaths starting to make her feel lightheaded.

Just as he’s about to pull away, his lips brush against the dip in her collarbone, causing her to wrap her legs around his waist and her fingers in his hair to dig in deeper, her body reacting to him before her mind could grasp what was happening.

“Fuck.” he breathes against her skin, feeling himself start to lose control.

B’s grip loosens then, her hands dropping from his hair to rest on his shoulders, her breathing heavy as she lets her head fall forward to rest on the top of his head, his face still buried in her neck. “Sorry.” she whispers, trying to control the rise and fall of her chest.

His grip on her waist remains tight, her blouse bunched up in his fists, his head buried in her neck as he tries to calm himself down, his breath coming out through clenched teeth. For a moment, they stay like that, until Yeonjun’s grip gradually starts to loosen, letting go of the fabric of her blouse as his hands go from clenching her waist to gently tracing circles on the now exposed skin on her hips.

~ end of makeout scene  ~

“You…” he begins slowly, lifting his head and letting it rest against her forehead, their breaths mingling. “You drive me crazy, you know?”

She lets out a small laugh, shaking her head lightly against his. “Not really, no.”

He laughs too, reaching a hand up to caress her hair, his eyes on hers once again. “Baby.” he simply says.

“Yes?” she responds, unable to stop a smile from creeping on her face. He smiles too, his heart fluttering, and he takes a deep breath before saying the next few words.

“Will you be my girlfriend?”

She nods her head eagerly, their foreheads rubbing together. “Choi Yeonjun, I’m all yours.” she says, laughing upon seeing his bright smile. She kisses his nose, then his forehead and each of his cheeks. He starts laughing as she showers his face with light kisses. “I’m yours, you’re mine, Baby.” he says, the feeling washing over him.

“You think it’s safe to let everyone know now?” Yeonjun asks her, remembering how he promised Beomgyu they’d tell the rest of the boys about it soon.

B nods, biting her lip as she thinks of how people would react to the news. Yeonjun was her boyfriend. “Yes.”

He uses his thumb to free her lower lip from her teeth, gently tracing it before kissing her softly again. “Let’s tell the guys later. At lunch.” he says, referring to their daily lunchbreaks spent at the gazebo.

“Sure.” she says. Then she pulls away and pushes herself off the table, straightening out her uniform as she does so. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a Biology class to get back to.”

Yeonjun smirks, watching her pull her skirt down and tuck the hem of her blouse back in, straightening her blazer and running her fingers through her hair. It gave him some sort of satisfaction, knowing that he had gotten her so disheveled. He leans back against the table, running a hand through his hair and straightening out his necktie as well, keeping his hands in the front pockets of his trousers.

“Aren’t you coming back to class?” B asks, pulling the face mask out of her blazer pocket and putting securing it over her nose and mouth. “There’s only a few more minutes, and then it’ll be our lunch break.”

Yeonjun shakes his head. “I never went to third period.” he admits. “You better get back to class and surrender your hall pass though. I’ll meet you at the gazebo for lunch.” he says.

B’s mouth drops open. “You skipped third period?” she exclaims. “Please promise me you won’t skip classes again, please?” she pouts.

He laughs, taking her hand and pulling her closer. “I promise. Except for when my father requests it, though. But this is the last non-business related time I skip class.” he says, kissing the back of her hand. “You better hurry back, the bell rings in about 10 minutes.”

“Oh my god, I am so dead!” she squeals, her eyes widen as starts to pull away, but Yeonjun’s grip on her wrist keeps her in place.

“Aren’t you forgetting something?” he says pointedly, his brow raised.

“Oh.” she simply says, before standing on her tiptoes and using a finger to pull her mask down, giving him a quick peck on the lips before pulling the mask back up. “That?”

He laughs, shaking his head. “You are adorable. I meant this,” he says, planting the single blue rose in her free hand. “but thanks, Baby.”

She blushes beet red then, straightening out her blazer one last time and quickly saying “See you at lunch, Yeonjun!” before dashing out the door.

He uses the remaining 10 minutes of 3rd period to distract himself from his thoughts by cleaning up all the rose petals he had set up. He wasn’t expecting things to get so heated, he only wanted to ask her to be his girlfriend, but he had to admit that he was pleasantly surprised by the turn of events. Just thinking about how she had reacted to his touches and how adorably flustered she got made him smile to himself, but the memory of her wrapping her legs around his waist and tilting her head back sent his mind wandering into the very place he was trying to distract himself from in the first place.

He sighs, shaking his head as he forced his thoughts to go focus into another mindset instead. He checks his watch, the petals all put away in a garbage bag. As the lunch bell rings, he grabs his things and locks the student council room behind him, putting on a face mask before making his way to the gazebo where he would meet his friends and his girlfriend for lunch.

Now he just had to tell his friends about his girlfriend.

•°•

When B got back to her Biology class, the teacher fortunately didn’t seem to notice that she was gone for well over 5 minutes, but her friends definitely did. When she sat back down beside Ryujin and Yuna, they definitely noticed how long her absence was, and they took note of how flushed she looked, and of the blue rose that he had haphazardly tucked under her blazer.

“Spill it. Now.” the 2 girls eagerly say, eyeing her like a hawk.

“Yeonjun asked me to meet up with him at the student council room.” B whispers to them, making sure that they were the only ones within earshot.

“Ooh, a steamy secret rendezvous in the middle of class?” Ryujin says teasingly.

“No, it wasn’t like that.” B aggressively whispers back, well-aware of how her cheeks were heating up as she tries to push away thoughts of Yeonjun’s lips on her neck.

“So what was it like then?” Yuna asks innocently.

Unable to contain her smile, B says “He asked me to be his girlfriend. And I said yes.”

The 2 girls quietly squeal at the good news. “Wow! Congrats!” Ryujin says.

Yuna nods. “Wow, and just like that for the first time in 2 years, Choi Yeonjun has a girlfriend.”

“2 years? He hasn’t had a girlfriend in 2 years?” B asks, surprised. Since everyone kept mentioning Yeonjun having a record for being one of the biggest flirts on campus, she was expecting him to have a long list of complicated past relationships.

“Well, real serious girlfriends, yeah. He’s been on a few dates with some girls since then, but it never really went beyond that so I wouldn’t call them girlfriends. And if I’m not mistaken, she was his first girlfriend. His first love, actually.” Yuna says thoughtfully. “I don’t really know her since she was never a student here.”

“I did, sort of.” Ryujin pipes up. “Gyu told me all about the guys’ past relationships. He mentioned Yeonjun and Rose’s relationship a lot. He said she was…” she starts, trying to choose her words carefully. “well, a complete bitch.”

“Rose?” B says, the name completely foreign to her. “His first girlfriend? So he’s only had 1 other girlfriend before me? And she was a complete bitch?” she asks, her head spinning with information.

Ryuji nods. “Yeah, despite his track record and dating history, he’s only ever had 1 serious relationship, and that was with Rose.” she says. “Gyu said they were intense. It was one of those relationships that were just so, um, loud I guess?”

“Loud? What do you mean?” B asks, genuinely curious yet a bit afraid to find out the answer.

“Gyu said they were one of those couples who were always so in-your-face about their relationship. Yeonjun wasn’t active on social media back then, but she was, and she was flaunting her relationship all over, showing off all the stuff he’d spoil her with and everything. Not only that, but they were one of those couples that, when going through a fight, the whole world would know about. According to Gyu, their relationship was dramatic and fiery and intense and so damn toxic, but Yeonjun was head over heels for her, which annoyed the guys to no end.”

“That sounds kind of awful.” B says, unable to imagine Yeonjun in such a relationship. “Kind of weird that the guys didn’t seem so supportive, either?”

Ryujin shakes her head. “That’s not even the worst of it. Apparently, she cheated on him with another rich kid she met while she was on vacation or something. Gyu says he hasn’t hated anyone as much as he hated Rose.”

“Now that sounds really awful.” B said, the information overload swirling around in her head. She couldn’t even imagine how awful this girl must’ve been for even Beomgyu and his friends to hate her so much. Why had Yeonjun fallen in love with such an awful person? And how could he have stayed in such a toxic relationship? And how could anyone cheat on him?

“I can’t say for sure since I personally don’t know her, Gyu just showed me a few of her pictures before, but he made her sound like the devil incarnate.” Ryujin says.

“Well, devil incarnate or not, Yeonjun’s definitely taken his standards to a different level with you.” Yuna says a bit comfortingly, squeezing B’s arm, trying to move away from the unpleasant topic. “And the best part is, I’m pretty sure all his friends love you already, so you won’t have to worry about that either. You and Yeonjun are solid.”

“Thanks, Yuna.” B says, smiling in relief. Then, remembering what Kai had told her about wanting to ask Yuna out, B giggles to herself.

“What was that for?” Yuna asks, noticing the sudden giggle.

Just then, the lunch bell rings, and B stands up instantly, slinging her bag over her shoulder. “Nothing. Just excited about my new relationship, I guess.” And about your soon-to-be relationship with my best friend. she thinks to herself, before greeting the girls goodbye and leaving the room.

Due to Kai’s absence, she had to walk to the gazebo alone, growing accustomed to having him pick her up outside her classroom so they could walk to the gazebo together. Now that she was left alone with her thoughts, she was starting to feel overwhelmed about everything that had happened that morning, from being back in school to her meet up with Yeonjun to officially being his girlfriend to learning about his ex. Even though she had learned a lot from Ryujin, she had to admit that her curiosity was still taking over her thoughts, which she knew would probably do no good for her new relationship.

Still, she couldn’t help but wonder about Yeonjun’s past relationship, and worry about how similar it had sounded to her relationship with her one and only ex boyfriend.

As she approaches the gazebo, she sees that Yeonjun and the rest of the guys were already there, sitting at their usual places. Without Kai, she wasn’t sure where she should sit. She usually sat beside Soobin cause that’s where Kai would usually sit before welcoming her into the group, but now she wasn’t sure.

Before she started to worry too much about where to sit, the boys spotted her approaching the gazebo and started waving at her. She smiles and waves back, stepping into the gazebo.

“There you are! Ah, it feels good to see your face around here again.” Beomgyu says, welcoming her in. “And just in time, too. Yeonjun says he has an important announcement that he’d like to make.”

“That we’d like to make, actually.” Yeonjun says, offering B a hand as she steps in, and she takes his hand shyly, letting him guide her into the small space.

“Oh?” Taehyun says, eyeing the 2 with a bad feeling in his gut. “What announcement?”

B takes a deep breath suddenly feeling shy and nervous, her eyes on the ground. She was starting to feel worried about how their friends might react, and guilty about not telling them about the whole thing in the first place. She had grown very fond of the boys and felt very comfortable around them, their closeness making her feel safe, as if she belonged. She was afraid that being Yeonjun’s girlfriend would change the way they see her or the way they treat her.

Sensing her nerves, Yeonjun squeezes her hand, urging her to look at him instead. He offers her a small smile, which she nervously returns. He nods at her before turning his attention to the 3 boys seated. “First thing’s first, I just wanna say that I’m sorry we didn’t tell you guys about this sooner. We just agreed that it would be best to keep it between us until we were sure about how things would go.”

“Whatever it is, we understand.” Soobin says with a smile on his face yet with a sinking feeling in his stomach, his mind buzzing at Yeonjun’s choice of words.

We.

Taehyun looks at his president with worry, a part of him dreading whatever Yeonjun would say next yet already sensing what was coming.

Yeonjun smiles brightly, his heart fluttering as he looks at the girl by his side before slinging an arm over her shoulders and pulling her to his side. “Baby and I are together.”

As the words leave Yeonjun’s mouth, Soobin’s gaze instantly falls on B, wanting to see if it was true or if it was some sort of weird prank that Yeonjun was pulling. When he sees her smile shyly, attempting to bury her face in the blue haired boy’s chest, his heart sinks.

“We’re officially a couple.” she confirms, her face getting redder by the second as she looks up at Yeonjun, who he could tell was grinning behind his face mask.

Soobin didn’t know what felt worse, the fact that his best friend and the girl he just realized he was falling for were now a couple, or the fact that now he was falling in love with his best friend’s girlfriend. Seeing them together now—her with her flushed cheeks and her tight grip on Yeonjun’s necktie and him with his arm dropping down from her shoulders to her waist, securing her by his side—made Soobin feel a bit sick. But what made him feel even sicker was the fact that seeing them together was making him feel sick in the first place. His best friend had finally found an amazing girl 2 years after his horrendous break up and was now dating said amazing girl. He wanted nothing more than to feel happy, but the fact that he didn’t made him feel terrible.

Before Soobin’s guilt starts to consume him, Beomgyu suddenly claps, sending a jolt through everyone in the gazebo. “Wow, congratulations B and YJ!” he says, approaching the couple and happily slapping the older boy on his back. “You 2 look great together.”

“Thanks, Gyu.” B says shyly, her blush visible even through her face mask, one hand fisting Yeonjun’s necktie as he kept her close to him.

“Don’t mention it, I’m happy that this guy has finally moved on.” Beomgyu says teasingly. “And that he was able to score someone way out of his league.” he says, wiggling his brows at the pair.

“Shut up, BG.” Yeonjun says, playfully shoving Beomgyu away before they share a quick high five “You’re right though, I don’t know how I got so lucky.” he says, using his free hand to caress her hair.

“Shut up, both of you.” she says, flustered. She looks at Taehyun and Soobin anxiously, holding her breath as she waited for their reactions. So far, the two boys had either been staring at her and Yeonjun or at each other.

Finally, Taehyun stands up, approaching the couple. “B.” he simply says, which causes her heart to sink a little.

“Tyunie?” she asks, nervously waiting to know his verdict. She and Taehyun had formed a sort of special bond over their walks together, and his opinion was the one that she worried about the most. She wanted to apologize on the spot for not telling him about it sooner, and explain everything about the past couple of weeks to him to make him understand why she had chosen to keep her relationship with Yeonjun a secret. She didn’t know why, but she wanted Taehyun’s approval.

He smiles at her then, and she feels the weight lifted off her chest. “Congratulations.” he finally says, stepping towards her and hugging her, which she wholeheartedly returned. She lets out a sigh as he rubs her back, her chin tucked into his shoulder, before he pulls away. “I just broke a health protocol for you.” he suddenly says, horrified. He instantly steps away then and starts to vigorously spray his hands, arms and neck with alcohol, which causes B to burst out laughing.

“You did it cause you looove me.” she says teasingly. “And thanks, Tyun.” she says, glad that he approved, though she made a mental note to tell him about all the details later on. She felt like she owed him that much.

It’s quiet for a moment as Yeonjun’s gaze lands on Soobin, the only one in the group who hadn’t shown any reaction towards the news as he had just been staring back and forth between him and B the whole time.

For Yeonjun, it was Soobin’s opinion he valued the most. Soobin was one of the few people in the world that Yeonjun would trust with his life. He was the only one among his friends who supported his relationship with Rose, valuing Yeonjun’s happiness above his own when he was clearly unhappy about the whole incident.

He was the one who was there for Yeonjun when everything came crashing down, the one who helped Yeonjun pick himself back up after being cheated on by his first love, the one who helped save Yeonjun from the nights when he would drown himself in alcohol in the hopes of numbing the heartache, the one who would sneak into Yeonjun’s house in the middle of the night to make sure he was asleep safe and sound in his bed rather than hooking up with random girls and picking fights with random guys at the bar, the one who would talk Yeonjun into giving his father a chance and reason with him that his father only wanted what was best for his son, the one who encouraged Yeonjun to join the dance club and the jazzed club and the student council, the one who begged the faculty and advisers to give Yeonjun a second chance at finishing school at MOA promising that he would keep his friend in check, the one who would do anything to make Yeonjun smile, and the one who would always tell Yeonjun the truth.

He stares at Soobin until Soobin’s eyes finally meet his and he stands up, making his way towards the blue haired boy. Once they stood face to face, there’s a moment of silence before Soobin’s face melts into a warm smile, his dimples peeking out from under his mask, his eyes crinkling at the corners, which instantly puts a smile on Yeonjun’s face as well.

Yeonjun pulls him into a hug, relieved. “Congratulations, Yeonjun.” the taller boy says, patting his back a couple of times before pulling away. “I’m so happy for you.” he says.

“Thanks, Binnie.” Yeonjun says, patting him on the back as well. “This means a lot to me.”

Soobin nods at him before turning to B, and before he can say or do anything, she throws her arms out to him and pulls him in for a hug, her tiny body feeling especially fragile as her arms squeezed around his waist.

He looks down at B then, finding her in his arms for the second time that day, in almost the exact same way. Again, he feels time stop the moment his arms wrap themselves around her body, only this time she had her arms around his waist as well. Her face was buried in his chest, the top of her head inches away from his chin, the smell of her lavender-scented shampoo taking over his senses, his hands resting on the curves of her waist.

Only now it felt completely different.

When he hugged her this morning, it felt like everything in the world was falling into place, the feeling hitting him so suddenly with such clarity, as if time seemed to stop as he was hit with the realization that he was falling in love.

As he hugged her now, it felt like everything in the world was falling apart, the horrible feeling hitting him as he felt his heart sink deeper and deeper, as if time seemed to stop as he was hit with the reality that she was Yeonjun’s, that what he felt for her was wrong, that he could never let his feelings for her go past what they were now, that he probably shouldn’t even be hugging her anymore.

“Thanks, Soobinie.” she says in response to how he had congratulated Yeonjun.

“No problem, B.” he says, lifting a hand up to gently stroke her hair, taking a deep breath and taking in her lavender scent, savoring the warmth of her body against his one last time, telling himself he’d never hug her like this for as long as he could handle it. As he lays his chin gently at the top of her head, his eyes meet Taehyun’s, who was standing behind her, staring at him with a sad look in his eyes.

Soobin squeezes his eyes shut, prolonging the hug for a moment longer, before finally pulling away, looking directly at her eyes. She was glowing, her face flushed yet radiant, her smile so big that it was visible under her mask, she looked so so happy that it made his heart ache, knowing that the next few words he’d speak out loud would kill him yet knowing that he meant every bit of it.

“I’m happy for you.”

•°•   

Author’s note:

Hello, thank you for reading! I’m trying to get more familiar with Tumblr, so if you have any suggestions or comments don’t be afraid to drop them! (PS I’m not even sure how to reply to comments, that’s how bad I am at using Tumblr lol but I promise that all replies are highly appreciated!!) PS: Happy 1 year anniversary/birthday, MOA! <3 Also: STREAM DRAMA MV!

[crqstalite]

stargazer.

just a little something from the wip folder. i started writing it months ago and i honestly have no idea where it was supposed to be going. you might be able to tell where earlier!andre stops and now!andre begins.

otherwise, a drabble about kodelyn and her mother, hannah shepard. no warnings.

-

She used to love the stars.

She used to be a child who knew nothing more than the skies of Rio, curious and wide eyed when they'd say goodbye to her new stepfather and siblings. Then, out into the warm and humid air with her mother, who'd braid her hair back in cornrows and pick her up to a piggyback style. So far outside the city, she was amazed by the lack of noise, lack of light. The way the sky would be speckled with white and gold, the way they'd twinkle when she lifted her head just right.

They'd never had the time before her sister was born. It'd always just been them, her and her mother bouncing between stations. Hannah Shepard and her daughter, Kodelyn, with the endearing habit of typing her own reports with nonsensical subjects that the crew would take in stride. One had started giving her stickers for each one, much to her happiness.

She saw the stars outside her window on Arcturus, wondering what lay beyond the twinkling lights in the distance. She'd used to make up stories that there were aliens, like any good child would in the years preceding the First Contact War. It'd fascinated her, so far away, yet they sped past them with the usage of the mass relay network. Anywhere she could, she stuck glow in the dark stickers. Whether that be in the crew cabin or elsewhere, she loved the way they looked. The nebula of purples and blues and black mixing into a vision of what she lived to see. Her curiosity about the galaxy before her made many believe she was simply a carbon copy of her mother, someone who asked just about all the right questions and maybe a few that weren't relevant. They saw Hannah in her, a few officers referring to her as simply 'Little Shepard'. A little clone that was constantly on her heels, but it was more endearing than annoying. Most of the time. As long as she didn't get underfoot too often. And that was fine, she liked it. Loved it even. Would've been happy if it stayed that way.

Then all of sudden (well, to her it was all of a sudden), she wasn't living on stations anymore. It seemed sometime between all the childish fantasies of being a spacefaring heroine, domesticity had settled in and didn't seem like it was leaving. Someone who took care of her when her mother was on tour, a 'proper' father. Then, a sister that hung onto every word that came out of her mouth. Then a brother who thought she was the best thing since the Mars relay had been found. It wasn't just her and her mother anymore, a family had grown around them.

At first, she was confused. Why she didn't accompany her mother on cruises anymore, why she was rarely home. Nearly upset even, until she came back through the door with a smile on her face and tired crinkles around her eyes after months on missions. A warning not to dirty her dress blues when she'd been away at the garrison, but never minding to bend down and hug her daughter. The stars became her connection back to her, wondering which one had her mother's ship behind it. As much as the megaopolis' bright lights drowned out those in the sky, she still stayed up to watch the city sleep and the stars find their way to her window. Watching as the ships came in at the dock, becoming adept at identifying each model, growing excited when she recognized the one she'd been looking for. Her mother always said she didn't have favorite children, but considering the shiny models of Alliance ships brought back for her, only her, she had reason to believe otherwise.

Well, most of the time. She'd never tell her baby siblings, but she was pretty sure she was the favorite.

"Do you have to go back?" Kodelyn asks, voice small as she rests her head on her mother's shoulder. The last day of her shore leave, and she wasn't excited to let her just go again, "Let them have Mr. 'Quin, then you can stay home with me all day."

Her mother chuckles, adjusting her hold on her small legs, "If that were how the military worked, I'm sure he'd be gone already, Dee. But you know I have work to do, and I'll be right back here for your birthday."

"But that's forever away!" Kodelyn exclaims, incredulous at the notion. April was a long time from then, nearly a whole year from that July. She believed she was completely justified in her reaction to the absurd amount of time her mother would be gone. In the grand scheme of things, it was decidedly absolutely unacceptable, "You're gonna miss Mason's birthday, and Mr. 'Quin's."

"I wish I could be here for them all, you know that, bug. Shore leave doesn't always come easy to us marines," She responds, stepping out of the way of a bush, the crinkling of leaves underneath her boots, "Tell you what, how about we get a dog for him and Mason? They like dogs, don't they?"

"There aren't pets in space, mom. Everyone knows that," Kodelyn giggles, her mother shaking her head and surely smiling herself, "Are we there yet?"

A pause before they step out from the tree line, Kodelyn craning her neck to stare up at the sky. Her mother gently puts her down, sliding to the ground to sit. Her daughter unceremoniously does the same, eyes wide. It was true, then, you could see so much more from the forest than you could from her house. Gently, she lays down on her mother's legs, Hannah carefully drawing her fingers through her scalp. Names of constellations come to her in waves, pointing out each one to the woman who smiles.

"There's an entire galaxy out there for you to explore," Hannah smiles down at her, hands resting on the ground before she looks back up to the sky, "It's beautiful, isn't it?"

"Yes," Kodelyn responds, playfully exasperated. She already knew that, and she knew that she wanted to be a ship captain just like her mother when she grew older. Of course she was going to explore. She'd get back up into space someday, even if she was only twelve right now, "It's pretty from here, right? So you can just stay here, with me."

Hannah sighs, though still good natured when she gently pulls Kodelyn into a soft embrace, "I'd love it if I could. Though I have a commitment to the Alliance, and I can't just walk away, little one."

"Then take me with you...." She whines, while Hannah chuckles.

"What do you have against being on Earth? I thought you'd like it, after all the time we spent on the Citadel, and the stations, and the ships," Hannah asks, leaning her head gently on her daughter's, "So much room to run around and play with kids your own age. You don't have to keep to the mess or medbay anymore, isn't that what you wanted?"

"Earth is...nice, I suppose. Too many bugs though," Kodelyn sticks out a tongue, reminded of her first experience with a spider only a few years ago. She shivers at the thought, but turns her big brown eyes back up at her mother, "I wanted to stay with you. And then you keep leaving."

"Oh." Hannah pauses, then squeezing her just a little tighter, "Kiddo, I'll always come back."

"And what if you don't?

"I will, and that's that," Hannah answers firmly, "And if you have your way, you'll be with the Alliance in a few years yourself. Just be patient, and be happy you still have solid ground under your feet for now, okay?"

"Yeah, okay." Kodelyn figures this is as much insurance as she's going to get on the matter, and relaxes her head back onto her mother's shoulder, "Space is still better."

"As if there was a question," Hannah brushes her hair out of her face, "Love what you have right now, kiddo. Please. You’ll never know if you’ll get this back.”

“You just said you’ll always come back, what do you mean?” 

“Don’t take things for granted -- you could lose it in an instant.”

And that's how it would've gone. She probably would’ve lived out the rest of her days on Earth, had her younger sister not been swept up in the biotic tests that drove them to live on the Citadel more often than not.  And that's how it would've gone had they taken it in stride and gotten her further treatment on-planet instead of the Citadel. Had Hannah's stations not moved further and further away from Earth. The list went on. And that's also, probably, how it would've gone had she made an actual point to stay on Earth. That didn't happen for a multitude of reasons.

Does she miss it? Not particularly. Spiders didn't follow her up, so that was a win.

No, she doesn't miss Earth exactly. She misses how she and her mother's calls end up being less and less frequent. There aren't anymore evenings that she drags Hannah out by the hand to stargaze. It isn't as if Kodelyn can't just look out a window and see them either, but it's a special sort of lonely that she can't quite put a finger on. Did she ever love the stars, the ones that eventually killed her, or was it the time spent together?

After her death over Alchera, the first thing she does once she can get her hands on a secured and encrypted channel is call her mother. She’s nearly clamoring for any real sense of reality, or part of her past that she can get her hands on.

Hannah nearly cries when she hears her daughter's voice for the first time in three years. She figures she’s lucky to get in contact with her at all, considering her current situation. Yet even though she still knows next to nothing of what Kodelyn is doing, she’s just grateful that she spares the time to speak to her.

“Hey mom?” 

“Yes?”

“Remember when we used to go star-gazing out on that hill by the house, when I was still a kid?” There’s a muffled chuckle on the other end of the line, “After Alchera, someone in Cerberus had a sense of humor and decided I must love it so much that there’s a skylight above my bed.”

Hannah curses, “Great. Is there a way you can cover it?”

“I’m looking into it,” Kodelyn answers, “Still, I think it was far more fun when my feet were on the ground, and would stay that way. You used to hold me like I was the most important thing in the galaxy when we went out there. Hard not to miss it.”

“Hard not to,” Hannah echoes the sentiment, “I can’t stay for much longer, but please, stay safe. I don’t need to find out that your ‘death’ was only a trial run.”

“I will. At least to the best of my ability. Love you.” 

[pretend-writer]

Used To Be (Steve Harrington x reader)

Requested

Summary: Y/N is in love with her best friend, Steve Harrington while he may like someone else. 

Pairing: Steve Harrington x reader

Title Reference: Used To Be x Jonas Brothers

Word Count: 876 words

Warning: slight angst, fluff

✤  ·  ✤  ·  ✤  ·  ✤  ·  ✤

No matter what I did, I couldn't get Steve out of my mind. Every hour, every minute of the day he was all I thought about.

Even though we were great friends, something about him just sparked in me and ever since, I've always liked him.

Since the day we started working together at Scoops Ahoy, I had the chance to see him almost everyday. The summer was almost over and it sucked that we were going away for college soon; This was the final moment that I had to cherish until I can meet him again.

As I was walking to the bathroom after my shift was done, I've noticed Robin and Steve looking nervous as they talked together.

'I'm sorry it's so sudden, I just thought I'd tell you how I feel.' I overheard Steve talk to Robin. 'You're just gorgeous and I like you, a lot.'

The sudden lump on my throat made me feel as though I stopped breathing. I could've been in a verge of crying but I was too sad and shocked, I didn't know what to do.

Slowly and quietly, I walked away without hearing another word from them. Sometimes, I thought that just maybe Steve would have feelings for me. I guess it was too good to be true.

The next few days during the summer went on forever. There was nothing entertaining and I couldn't wait to go to college to see where my life took me next. Forgetting Steve and moving on was the first thing I wanted to do as soon as I got to college.

During the transition to college, Steve would text me here and there. He wanted to know how I was doing but I never replied. Responding and trying to keep in touch would've hurt me and I would of never moved on.

Eventually, three months rolled by and it was already Thanksgiving weekend. Being back home with my family was refreshing and it was something I desperately needed.

The morning of Black Friday, I stayed home by myself while my whole family went shopping. For once, I wanted to sleep in without classes interrupting me.

Unexpected doorbell startled me; We weren't expecting anybody, especially during Black Friday morning. Confused, I answered the door.

'Long time no see.' Steve smiled shyly. 'You've never texted me back.'

'Yeah, sorry.' I said hesitantly, looking down. Just hearing his voice flushed all the feelings back, the college escape didn't help at all.

'Uhm, you left without saying goodbye too.'

It was too painful when I saw Robin and Steve together that evening. Seeing him and saying goodbye for the last time would've probably made me cry, which was why I made the decision to not say a word before I left town.

While I stayed silent, Steve continued. 'Am I missing something? We were best friends, Y/N. Please tell me if I did something to upset you?'

The sadness in his eyes made me feel for him; Before all of this emotions for him, we've always been best friends. I owed it to him that we kept our promises to stay friends no matter what.

'The week before summer ended, I heard you talking to Robin in the bathroom.' I bit my lips.

'Oh.' Steve mumbled. 'Uh-.'

'Please, don't explain. I'm sorry I was an ass to you. You didn't deserve my silent treatment for these past few months.'

Steve fiddled with his fingers, 'Honestly, I wanted to see you more than ever after that.'

I lifted my head up, looking at him with a confused look on my face. 'What do you mean?'

'Robin basically dumped me.' He laughed lightly, 'She didn't feel the same way and I was hurt about it but after all of that, the only person in my mind was you.'

Steve was heartbroken and I wasn't able to be there for him as a best friend. Even with the feelings I had for him, I knew I shouldn't have acted the way I did. 'I'm so sorry for not checking up on you. I was a terrible friend.'

He gave me a soft smile, 'It's okay. The emotions I felt for Robin was just a tiny crush and I got over it. I just really wanted to see you. I really miss you and how it used to be.'

'Don't worry, you'll find a special girl that can treat you right.' I flashed a fake smile, 'As for me, I'll always be here for you as your best friend. I'm sorry I left you hanging.'

Steve took a step closer, 'I already found my special girl.'

'She must be one lucky girl. I'd love to meet her someday.'

'You already know her.' Before I was able to ask who, Steve grabbed onto my cheeks and kissed me.

My stomach fluttered, I couldn't believe that this was happening. As he slowly pulled away, I smiled.

'When I realized that you left me, I didn't know what to do. I felt lost without you, Y/N. That's when I realized I had genuine feelings for you. I'm sorry I didn't realize what I had until you were gone.'

'I'm just glad you're here with me right now.'

'You and me, both.' He grinned and leaned in for another kiss.

[sleemo]

Stardust

[ Translated from Spanish to English by @sleemo and @nightblossoms-and-spinebarrels ]

Two years after ‘The Force Awakens’, the Imperial March plays again. The galactic saga returns to the big screen with ‘Star Wars: The Last Jedi’, a movie that promises to be quite unique. Director Rian Johnson and his protagonists tell us what this new stellar adventure will have for us, at least as far as Kathleen Kennedy allows them.

— Cinemanía | December 2017 - Janire Zurbano

“I don’t want Disney princesses, I want Leia,” said the little Rey in costume who was standing in front of me in one of the booths for Funko Pop figures in D23. Now that the success of the saga is measured in mind-blowing figures, the Disney convention has become a coming and going of Gamoras, Méridas and Thors, carrying bags full of Funkos. 

“Before, the fans used to tell me how they met their wives because of Star Wars and now they show me the toys they’ve bought for their children,” Mark Hamill tells us. We met with the director and part of the cast of Star Wars: The Last Jedi after the hangover of D23. “I appreciate all this as I never would have been able to at 20. People ask me: ‘Doesn’t it bother you to be remembered for a single movie role?’ I never expected to be remembered for anything. And now someone has a doll with my face!”, adds the actor.

In all honesty, the merchandise for Star Wars: The Last Jedi has given us more clues about the future of the saga than any trailer or official photo of this new release. In February, a toy box made all the galactic alarms go off by showing an image of Rey with what looked like a padawan’s hairstyle. She just needed to say: “I am your Jedi apprentice”. “I cannot talk about that,” laughs Daisy Ridley.

Everything is kept under wraps in the mysterious universe commanded by Kathleen Kennedy, as the cast well knows. “At the beginning of rehearsals, we didn’t know the plot. I remember being with Mark, making conjectures all the time,” says Ridley. “We could not take the script outside Pinewood Studios,” recalls John Boyega. The newcomers also did not get any special treatment. “That room in Pinewood was like a cave,” says Kelly Marie Tran, to which Benicio del Toro adds with laughter: “I read the script with a timer.” It is not surprising that the Puerto Rican actor speaks cautiously about the film: “Star Wars was the first science fiction film that I felt was mine. I don’t want to be the first to ruin something for the fans.” Without Funkos to dissect and now that Kennedy can’t hear us, let's put them to the test.

New King of the Galaxy

It’s been two years since J. J. Abrams expanded the universe created by George Lucas, this time for Disney. The Force Awakens revived the essence of the original trilogy, far from that attempt to renew the prequels. Many specifically criticized that it was a copy of A New Hope. However, what struck Mark Hamill was something else: “Twice a week, for 50 weeks, I was tortured. They called it physical training. I even did a diet of ‘If it tastes good, don’t eat it’. I lost 20 kilos! Then I discovered that I only appeared for a few seconds at the end looking like a grumpy neighbor.”

Now, to Hamill's good fortune, Abrams has handed over the controls of the Millennium Falcon to Rian Johnson. “I remember asking J.J. if it felt like when, in a divorce, your children go to live with the new cool guy. He told me that it was fine with him but I know he thought: ‘I’m going to miss them,’” says Boyega. The creator of Lost will return to lead Episode IX, but before that Johnson will have to prove if The Last Jedi, which promises shocking revelations, is as “unique” as the cast assures. For now, it will be the longest film in the series, with two and a half hours. But will it be up to the much acclaimed The Empire Strikes Back?

“No comparisons,” Hamill says: “This movie is different from the others in Star Wars thanks to Rian. If it had not been for him, I would have dreaded coming back... I wasn’t sure I wanted to be part of the new trilogy. I thought Harrison Ford wouldn’t come back, he was my savior. But then he accepted and I felt trapped. Since I was the only one who wasn’t here, I would’ve been the most hated.”

The Return of the Jedi

“The Last Jedi starts right where we left The Force Awakens,” Ridley tells us, something unheard of in the saga. We will reunite with Rey the scavenger delivering the lightsaber to Luke Skywalker in Ach-To, after having spent the previous film on his trail. “I don’t remember what Luke says when he takes the saber, but he should have said, ‘That came with one hand, did you bring it too?’, jokes Hamill. 

“Rey must accept that she has power and begin to show her potential,” explains Johnson. She and Darth Vader's son will be the focus of the film, although for now nobody dares to say whether the last Jedi master will train the young woman in the art of the Force. It is as if every time a journalist mentioned the word “Jedi”, a fairy died. “Jedi training? That remains to be seen,” says Ridley sounding mysterious, and adds: “In The Force Awakens, Rey was out of control, but now she will learn from Luke and from herself. She will experience growth.”

Her friend, John Boyega, insists on the novelty of the project: “Rian has done something very different. We wanted Finn to have an identity, like Han Solo or Leia. He supported Rey and the Resistance in Episode VII, but now he must decide if he is willing to fight a battle that is not his. His relationship with Rey and now with Rose Tico [Kelly Marie Tran] will push him into action.” The stormtrooper who deserted the First Order will thus find a new ally in this Resistance mechanic. According to Tran, she is “a nobody” that will star in “several fun moments” with Finn.

And what awaits us in the Dark Side? “Kylo Ren (Adam Driver) is as important as Rey in this new film,” says Johnson. After killing dad Han Solo, the pupil of Supreme Leader Snoke (Andy Serkis) will threaten the Galaxy again, with a new ship like that of his grandfather Anakin. Another who will be back, to Finn's disgrace, will be his former superior in the First Order, Captain Phasma. “I cannot confirm if her face will be seen, but we will learn more about her and she will leave an impression,” says Gwendoline Christie.

DJ, the hacker who Benicio del Toro gives life to, is one of the great mysteries of the film. Will he brandish a lightsaber? “No”, says Del Toro. And does he look like some other character in the saga? “He has elements of Boba Fett, maybe Jabba the Hutt,” the actor replies. According to Boyega (official spokesperson of the Galaxy), DJ resides in the casino planet of Canto Bight, where Finn and Rose Tico will go looking for him because “they need a codebreaker and he is the best”. 

“The interesting thing was being able to propose things to Rian and that he was open to my suggestions, even if they changed the story,” Del Toro assures us. Another fundamental issue for the Puerto Rican is the diversity that exists in the saga: “I saw that Oscar Isaac joined Episode VII, and that Diego Luna appeared in Rogue One, and I thought: ‘They already have two Latinos, I don’t think they need three’, but they called me. It's also great that there are women in leading roles.”

The Girls Are Warriors

And speaking of women... Leia Organa (Carrie Fisher), princess-turned-general, marked a before and after between the heroines of the cinema of the 70s, a legacy that the saga has continued to reinforce. “They told me that a child wanted to run like Rey because, apparently, she is running the way she should,” Ridley recalls, adding: “The reaction of many parents made me realize what Rey means to them. They told me: ‘My daughter has something to wear now that isn’t sexualized.’” The actress is aware of how much Star Wars does for the empowerment of women, although she believes that “as long as we keep talking about it, there will be work to be done. If there was equality, we wouldn’t be repeating that Wonder Woman is starring and directed by women.”

For Gwendoline Christie, this "feminist” aspect of the saga is fundamental: “We live in a patriarchal society, so being able to play the leader of an army is a luxury. Kathleen Kennedy showed me the results that appear when you google ‘female heroines’: many women with barely any clothes.” 

The actress still remembers the impact Princess Leia had on her: “I was six years old and seeing that Leia was smart, funny and did not look like other female characters made me question how women are portrayed in movies. I hope Captain Phasma will also help change the concept of femininity.” In addition to Rey, Captain Phasma and Rose Tico, Episode VIII will feature Amilyn Holdo (Laura Dern), Vice Admiral of the Resistance.

Goodbye Princess Goodbye

Among all the star warriors of Star Wars, General Leia continues to shine more than any other. Outside of the screens, with no Skywalker brawls involved, the cast makes for much closer family: “Mark is the father. Adam is the serious one, but he has a great sense of humor. Oscar is the charmer, John is the fun one, Carrie is the hilarious one, Benicio the cool, and I'm the one who always sings,” sums up Ridley. 

Therefore, the premiere of this film is a bittersweet experience after the death of Fisher in December 2017. For the British actress, “it is strange to be together again without her”. Little did Johnson imagine that he would direct Carrie Fisher’s last film: “We have a beautiful and very powerful performance from her. We have not changed it.”

The one who gets most excited when talking about the actress is her ‘brother’ Mark Hamill: “I keep missing her. I keep talking about her in the present. Selfishly, I’m so angry. She should be here to share Episode VIII and shoot Episode IX.” The Last Jedi is the farewell to an actress who, 40 years later, continues to make us want to be Leia princesses, not ‘Disney princesses’. The Galaxy will not shine the same without her.

[dorkyungsoowrites]

Spontaneous Attraction Ch. 26

Pairings: Kyungsoo x You, Past Chanyeol x You

Genre: Fluff/Angst/Smut | Ambiguous AU

Warnings: Mild Dom/Sub play, masturbation

Word Count: 4.2k

Description: Kyungsoo does his best to respect your rules, but loopholes were okay right?

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Minutes passed. What felt like hours passed. You had discarded most of your clothes. The material hot and scratchy on your skin. Left only in your underwear, you waited lying in bed. Aimlessly staring at the ceiling, the wall, the closet. Rolling around bored out of your mind waiting for Kyungsoo. Your fingers itched to roam over warm skin and tangle in short hair. To coax those lovely little moans and trembling exhales from Kyungsoo that fed your addiction.

The door creeped open. Kyungsoo entered, flicking on the light switch. You grinned and sat up. His eyes widened slightly, and he bolted over to the dresser. You watched confused until Chanyeol entered moments later. Kyungsoo swiped a large shirt and pulled it over your head quickly.

"Hold on," you complained. He let you go. You reached back and slid your bra off, tossing it on the floor. Chanyeol shut the door behind him. You pushed your arms through the sleeves, now somewhat decent, but comfortable. You sat criss cross while Kyungsoo sat beside you on the edge of the bed. Chanyeol came closer, standing at the foot of the mattress. "What's up, Yeol?" The bright greeting didn't faze him. Some other purpose sat behind his eyes. His expression grim. "Are you okay?" Still no answer. You became worried, going to your knees and reaching out to him. "I'm sorry for earlier. Do you need a hug?" His deep brown eyes drifted around your bedroom. Lost in thought. They passed over the plain walls and shared nightstand, catching the condom packet you laid out in hopes it would get used. The clean sheets and the dresser against the other wall. The knick-knacks that littered the top were the only semblage of messiness in the room. Then after floating back over to you he shook his head slowly. You dropped your arms. Feeling unsteady, you plopped back in your original position. Kyungsoo was there.

"Well?" he asked. Except it was directed at the tall rapper. Chanyeol scowled in his direction, mocking him.

"Well, first of all, how can you live with someone and not know how to ask for something?"

"I tried asking. She wasn't listening," Kyungsoo shot back. You were lost. Simply listening while they bickered.

"No you didn't ask. You told. She's a person. You can't just order her around all the time."

"Well I've never seen her like this before. I don't know what to do." Chanyeol threw his hands up in the air exasperatedly.

"Give her what she wants!"

"I can't."

"Why not? Just take off your pants and fuck her. It's not like you haven't done it before."

"I don't want to hurt her."

"Hurt her?!" Chanyeol scoffed. One of Kyungsoo's hands reached out to cover your knee. His voice remained calm and centered.

"She's not in her right mind. I don't want to take advantage of her." You caught the roll in Chanyeol's eyes. He was drunk and annoyed, you realized. He was being overly dramatic for effect. He knew Kyungsoo was right, right? Even if you wanted to break your rule in that moment.

"Fine," he sighed. "But you wouldn't need my advice if you just asked her like a normal person."

"Asked me what?" When you spoke the dense air evaporated. Chanyeol's lips stretched into a warm smile, sitting across from Kyungsoo beside you.

"Hey dove," he began softly. "Kyungsoo asked me to help you go to bed."

"But I'm not sleepy," you pouted.

"I know." His arm lifted, fingers running along your cheek before he was cupping your face. You hummed pleasantly and leaned into it. He glanced over at Kyungsoo. "See? She's not only after sex. She just wants to be held. To feel close to someone."

"I don't know about that," you chuckled. "You've always been the needier one out of us. Begging for attention so I pet your hair and stuff. Made me feel like I was taking good care of you. You're so cute, Yeol." You pushed his hand off, your own going to his ears. Tugging on them to see them stick out even further. "With your big cute ears." Down to pinch his cheeks. His face scrunched in distaste which only made you laugh. "And your cute face." Your fingers fell to grasp his hoodie limply. "It's crazy seeing you live this dream. You're this big star, and I haven't even seen one of your concerts." Tilting your head you inquired, "do you remember that day we ditched school?" His eyebrows came together before it dawned on him.

"Yeah. You cut off all your hair."

"You pushed me in a lake." Both of you cracked up laughing at the memories. After calming down your grin simmered to a nostalgic kind of smile. "I was thinking about that earlier. How you calmed me down from my anxiety attack and told me to stay in band. I never would've accomplished my dream if it wasn't for you." Your fingers fell weakly in your lap. His hand you had shoved away ghosted down your shoulder and arm, calmly stroking your skin. "What kind of person am I, huh? I keep my promises. And I promised to be there to support you." You poked a digit to his lips. They squished around it, soft and pink. "My cute, clumsy Chanyeol." He grabbed your hand loosely, moving it away from his face. "I never didn't love you, you know that right? I don't say it but I love all of you so much. Minseok, and Baekhyun, and Junmyeon, and Yixing, and--"

"I know," Chanyeol whispered sadly, silencing you. His puppy dog eyes wavered and sank down to your lap. "They all love you, too." Your fingers twitched and he released them. You immediately began carding them through his messy hair. The action was soothing for both of you. It gave you something to focus on and get your manic energy out. He had always found the feeling of fingers in his hair and lightly scratching his scalp pleasant. You didn't let his glum mood affect you. You probably seemed clueless from an outside perspective.

"Can I see you perform some time?"

"Of course."

"You're still sad. I wish I could change that."

"Stop worrying about me."

"Never. Despite when you tried to cut me out, you're still my closest friend. You're too good to me." His eyes closed, taking a deep breath. "My Chanyeol." Leaning forward, you buried your nose in his soft, fluffy locks, kissing his head. He smelled sweet. A fruity kind of sweetness from shampoo. It was so crisp and clean and nice.

"Stop saying that," he chuckled weakly. "You'll make Soo jealous." You giggled.

"Don't be ridiculous. Kyungsoo knows."

"Knows what?"

"That you get special treatment for taking care of me." His hair bounced as your digits combed through it. "Thank you." You tried to convey a million things you were thanking him for in the two simple words. He sighed softly. His next words also carried more than the surface told. Quiet, fragile words that went against everything you knew about your best friend; everything he promised your last night together.

"I can't be yours forever." Suddenly your limbs felt heavier. Your motions through his hair were slower. But somewhere in your hazy mind you knew it was the truth. He hadn't really been yours for a long time. Since that night he kissed you a year ago, you think. He stopped being a confidant the moment he betrayed his heart. Or perhaps you had been holding on to a part of him unfairly. A piece he needed to be able to truly move on, tucked away for an emergency that would never come. Nevertheless you were proud of him for saying it.

"I guess so," you acknowledged aloud.

"I need to go."

"Why?"

"Kyungsoo's waiting to go to sleep with you, and I think I did my part in calming you down."

"Oh, okay." You easily stopped and pulled away. Chanyeol flashed you a smile. "Get home safe."

"I will. Please be nice to him. He's worried over you." Your head whipped around to see Kyungsoo watching your exchange with fascination.

"You are?" He couldn't contain the quiet laugh that bubbled up out of his chest. His distinct laugh too bright for the late hours of the night. Or was it morning at this point?

"Yes."

"Aw, how sweet," you cooed lovingly. Your eyes were torn away by cajoling fingers grazing your jaw. Chanyeol was close, and his smile was still in place, and somehow you knew this one wasn't forced. Maybe your acknowledgement of his statement is what he needed to get that little sliver of himself back. Release the burden that part of him was yours still. Maybe. You could hope. His fingertips traced your cheekbone to your lips and halted under your chin.

"What you said to me all those times," he began in his deep, sincere voice. The one that sounded louder even though he was speaking lower. "I am happy. I'll always be happy as long as my friends are smiling and laughing alongside me. I may act like a baby sometimes, but I'll always have the group and you to hold me, so don't worry. I promise."

"As long as you promise." He came forward, lips pressing to your forehead gently. You closed your eyes, letting the warmth radiate out from the touch. It felt like so much more than a goodbye, and that was okay. Because he promised. As long as he was whole and happy.

After Chanyeol pulled away, he turned and left the bedroom. Kyungsoo stood. Your mind immediately switched gears and was distracted. Fear washed over you.

"Where are you going?" you whined.

"To make sure everyone leaves safely. I'll be back before you know it."

"And you won't run away?" An odd expression twisted his features.

"No," he answered slowly. "I live here."

"Okay..." you agreed begrudgingly, realizing how dumb you sounded. As you waited you spaced out staring at the cracked doorway. You could hear the laughing and fading voices of his group members saying their goodnights. A gloomy, swampy feeling settled over you. Over your head and chest. It shrouded your thoughts in a haze. Maybe you were sobering up because you felt guilt twist into your heart. Guilt over what, though? Wanting to have sex with Kyungsoo? Yes, a small voice whispered back somewhere. You worried him. You practically assaulted him in front of his friends. You were pawing at him like he was a piece of meat. How did Chanyeol ever put up with you? Give in to you even. Teenage hormones?

The sounds of water running brought your eyes back to the doorway. There was less light coming in. Quieter. He was using the bathroom, you realized. Shoulders slumped, lips pouted, you sat and waited. The water cut off. A minute later Kyungsoo's silhouette appeared, pushing the door open then shutting it behind him. He went to the dresser and started changing. You watched without really looking. Not even the sight of him peeling off his jeans that you'd craved so richly before perked you up. With a sudden new sense of patience you waited for him to get in his usual night time wear of loose boxers, but instead of coming to bed he reached in the top drawer--your junk drawer--and took out a crumpled piece of paper and a pen. He scratched the pen on it briefly before facing you with a proud smile. Your eyes widened slightly. It was the list he gave you on your anniversary. The writing was too small for you to read it from the bed, but you knew what he was showcasing. Right near the top there were three words carefully crossed out. 'Introduce to fans'.

"That's three down." Kyungsoo said it like...well...like Kyungsoo, you suppose. It didn't remind you of anything. He was happy. That's all you could notice. Genuinely excited about this list he created. His smile was contagious.

"97 left to go right?" He nodded before putting the paper and pen back in the drawer. Kyungsoo switched off the lights and finally joined you in bed after setting his glasses aside. Both of you were on your side. You faced him while he pulled the covers up your bodies. The sheets went over your shoulders, and to your surprise and delight, his fingers followed. You shivered as they slid down your arm to your waist then pulled you closer, face centimeters from his. One of your legs automatically tangled with his lower down, palms laying on his bare chest. You looked down as your eyes adjusted to the darkness, feeling his chest rise and fall slowly with his breathing. His breath smelled like mint, jarring your thoughts. You should have brushed your teeth, too. He didn't seem to care, however, when he tilted his head and puzzled your lips together. Dancing unhurried to a silent rhythm that always accompanied him. His entire existence was music to you. The beat of his measured strides, his absent humming, the melodious tones of his voice with syncopated words, the constant surprises that were somehow entirely predictable. And just like music, you realized, you couldn't ever imagine living without him.

A large hand dipped under the hem of the shirt you wore, splaying on your waist, then ran around to cradle your torso from the back. His lips broke from yours with a subtle smack, but his arm hugged you tighter to his firm body. Your breath hitched at the intimate action. He was boiling hot, but you didn't mind. It was calming. Your own arms went around his middle. Right as you found the courage to look up his eyelids drifted shut with a contented sigh. The corners of his mouth were attempting to relax, but he was still smiling a little. His hand began to move then. Gliding ever so gently up and down your spine. A barely there touch, but it seemed to spark your body on fire. You couldn't help it. Your head was still swimming with alcohol and you craved physical attention. He was only giving you a taste.

"I'm sorry," you breathed quietly. One of his eyes peeked open, mumbling,

"What for?"

"Being...how I am like this, I guess." His other eye opened. Yours averted to his chest, his neck, over his shoulder. Anywhere but those captivating brown eyes. The ones that prevented you from forming real words if you stared directly at them too closely. "Please don't go to sleep yet." Your name hummed from the back of his throat, and you had to close your eyes for a moment to collect your thoughts. What his voice alone could do to you...

"I won't risk making you feel violated. It doesn't matter if this is different from Chanyeol; you have rules for good reason and I won't put you through that."

"Not that," you replied. "Well, a little, but I'm not tired. And it's so nice when you hold me. Safe and comfortable and not lonely. I just...don't want you to think badly of me. I can't seem to help myself. I want to be close to you all the time. I'm sorry if I embarrassed you."

"What are you talking about?"

"Earlier. I kept trying to touch you. It was stupid."

"It was a myriad of things, but stupid was not one of them." You hid your face in his chest. When he realized you weren't going to say anything back he shifted to get more comfortable, wiggling his legs to encase yours more. His hand halted on your back. "Why were you worried I was going to run away?"

"Because that's what they do," you answered, words muffled.

"Who?"

"People."

"What makes you think that?"

"Because they do. When I'm drunk. No one likes me. I'm too clingy."

"I like it when you're clingy."

"Only Chanyeol likes it," you denied. "He's nice to me when I want attention. He doesn't care where we are cause he's clingy, too. It's nice."

"I'm not being nice to you?"

"You pushed me away all day." After responding you hugged him tighter. "This is nice now. I love laying with you."

"Well I honestly do like this side of you. I'm sorry for making you feel that I didn't love every part of you. I was only trying to keep you from regretting anything. But I could have been better about it."

"I could never regret anything with you," you sighed pleasantly. The darkness was beginning to invade your body, dragging your eyelids closed. "I want to spend every night with you. Even with your weird face." Kyungsoo jerked back, and you blinked wearily up at him. He was shocked to say the least. A grin stretched your lips as you giggled at the funny expression.

"Excuse me?" The arm around him came up, tracing a finger gingerly over his cheek. You poked it. The flesh squished, and he shook you off. You moved to trace the bridge of his nose. What a soft nose, you thought absently.

"Yeah, you have a weird face." Next you went around his hairline. He caught on that you were rambling to keep him awake. He began to relax, allowing you to map out his face. You continued doing your best to ignore his intense stare. How warm you were becoming the longer it stayed fixed on you. His skin was soft and supple. He worked hard to maintain a good routine since he was in and out of make-up all the time. The pad of your finger lingered over each freckle. Gliding over his cheekbones. He was holding back a smile, the corners of his mouth turning down. "You get this diamond shape around your smile," you informed him as if this was new information to him. The man who had owned said face for over two decades.

"Not a heart?" He asked, voice like honey. Soft honey. If that made sense. It probably didn't. It was the same timbre he took on when he was affected by you. His bedroom voice, so to speak.

"Not your lips," you replied. "Around them. Here." You drew where the edges of his mouth would push up the apples of his cheeks and down where it would mirror it to the point of his chin. "When you smile really big it's a diamond." Next was the indent between his nose and upper lip. You carefully traced the curves of his cupids bow.

"That makes my face weird?" he mumbled. He pursed his lips, making them puff out and you giggled.

"No, but I like teasing you, and you make a lot of weird faces when we're having sex." His eyebrows shot up, allowing his smile to break out.

"What?" You put your palm to his cheek, cupping his face.

"I like it, though. You're expressive. I like that you can't control yourself. Most of the time it's sexy more than weird."

"And when it's more weird?"

"Are you gonna be self conscious now?" you giggled. "I'm sure I make them too and I don't care."

"You're beautiful no matter what."

"See? Same goes for you. My beautiful weirdo."

"Thanks...I guess." Maybe you could try to be sneaky. You kissed him slowly, and he followed your lead. Your hand wandered down his neck and shoulder around to his lower back. Urging his body closer to yours. Heat traveled down between your legs, whimpering into his mouth. When you moved your hips against him you felt him through his boxers and smiled internally. Then he broke away and looked at you sternly. Your hopes shattered instantly. "I said no, Y/N. Just--" Kyungsoo stopped himself and sighed. His scowl softened. "Can I just hold you tonight? Please?" You dug your nails into the small of his back, whining and writhing against him.

"I need you so badly, Kyungsoo. Can't I at least get myself off if you're not in the mood? I need to cum." His eyes squeezed tightly shut, taking a calming breath.

"You don't...need permission for that," he breathed.

"But you said you're the only one who can touch me. You never let me when you're away."

"Well...I'm not away, am I?" His eyelids raised slowly. You marveled at his long eyelashes and shook your head smally. "Besides, I couldn't stop you when I was touring. You're stubborn. You'll do what you want."

"That's true," you agreed with a smile. He chuckled, fingers tracing patterns on your back.

"So you're just gonna do it here?"

"Nothing you haven't seen before." His arm released you as you rolled on to your back. "I'm just glad you're finally out of those fucking pants. I was dying watching your thighs and ass in those jeans." You threw your underwear off to the floor, leaving you in only a loose t-shirt.

"You do love a good ass."

"And you have the best," you smirked. He chuckled again.

"Why thank you. I try." You slipped one hand under the shirt, feeling your breast in your hand and teasing a nipple.

"I know. You torture me almost every morning with your stretching and yoga."

"You do it, too," he defended. It was true. You had picked it up from him. It had really improved a lot of things. Not all sexual. He needed it to get ready for work on days they had dance practice, and you liked having another thing to share with him. It was all rather domestic. Once the first week passed in all truthfullness, however, you had gotten over watching him in all the different poses because you were beside him. Not every morning, but enough you felt yourself improving. It was another thing in the background while you woke up. It helped he moved to the living room instead of waking up to him bent over on the floor of your bedroom. It also helped it was just normal stretching most mornings. Waking himself up while getting ready for a morning workout. Something you did even though you almost never worked out just because it was healthy and felt nice. But in that moment it was all fair game to quip at eachother.

Your other hand moved lower, running a finger through your center. You sucked in a breath, eyes closing. The arousal that had been building all night was evident, so you added a second finger and decided to circle your clit. You just wanted it over. You needed release from the pooling heat in the pit of your stomach. The shocks sent from your sensitive bundle of nerves meant your touch was gentle but fast. Your toes curled imagining Kyungsoo's hands on you. Replaying the breathless moans that delighted you beyond belief. Writhing as you inched closer to the edge, and you let a moan slip.

A new heat startled you, eyes snapping open. Kyungsoo had moved closer, his hand replacing yours on your breast, gently massaging and rolling your nipple between his dexterous fingers. He sat up on his elbow, pushing your shirt up and the covers down to your waist. The cold air made you shiver, but his dark eyes were there to bring new heat. It crept up your face as he gazed intently at you. The look a man gives someone he admires with all his heart. And you possessed the body he worshiped with that gaze. Your blood was racing.

"You're so gorgeous," he rasped lowly. Even though he said he wouldn't give in he was helping you. You loved he couldn't resist you. And it didn't count as breaking your rule since you were touching yourself, right? "You can do it, sugar. I know how badly you want to cum." You nodded in agreement. A whimper morphed into a groan as Kyungsoo bent over, plush lips coming over your other breast. Your free hand grappled at the sheets beside your head, arching into his mouth. His tongue swirled, sucking and kissing your chest. Your fingers stuttered their movements, but resumed soon with new purpose.

Your head was foggy. The end was right there, just out of reach. Hours of sexual frustration finally being released. You were too wound up to tease yourself. Your muscles were tensing. A silent scream lodged in your throat. The stimulation his hand and mouth added pushed you over the edge violently. You called out, voice breaking as waves of relief flooded you. Kyungsoo's mouth left you, hand running over every part of you he could, feeling your muscles shaking and jumping. His lips went to your jaw as you came down all too quickly from your high. An empty sort of pleasure replacing your need. Your satisfaction was skin deep, but it would have to do. Wiping your fingers off, you closed your eyes and relaxed. Kyungsoo's breath tickled your neck.

"I can't believe you're mine." You hummed in response, too exhausted suddenly to talk. You blindly grabbed his hand on your stomach, forcing his lips off you as you rolled back to your position on your side. You put his arm around you and did the same to him, burying your face in his chest. The next hum sounded more like a moan as you got comfortable. Chest full and happy with the person you loved holding you. The world could wait until morning.

"Night," you mumbled sleepily. His arm hugged you tightly to his body, murmuring a quiet,

"Goodnight, jagi." Then his body relaxed and soon his even breaths lulled you into sleep.

[featherfreezombie]

iw SPOILERS

alrighty folks, i need to do a ramble. i saw infinity war, rest is under the cut of course. so SPOILERS!!!!!!

i HATED IT SO FUCKING MUCH SO FUCKING FUCIKING MUCH

alright. let’s get the big thoughts out of the way first. i am not mad people died, i also am not lying on the floor crying like so many have written they do. i feel nothing and it’s infuriating.

you know that effect when the scale goes up and up and up and it becomes less relatable in its one-upmanshit of itself? that was a typo and im not going to fix it. oneupmanshit. there you go.

thanos is a huge problem, i didn’t give a damn in the trailers, thought they might do stuff.. but.. omnipotence is just sooooo fuuuuucking boooooring and his motivations are “i do evil things because of a messed up conviction” but on the largest scale where it just seems so ridiculous and i can’t take him seriously even as he plows through the heros. his little lovey-dovey gamora moments don’t do shit considering how he raised her, set against her sister and all that. your love isn’t redeeming if it’s BIG-TIME abusive you fucking grapesicle.

okay so that’s thanos.

i think the plot and writing was exceptionally bad. everything that happens seemed to VERY obviously set up something they wanted to happen, which is how plots work but you’re not supposed to notice. and if the things that happen don’t make sense, it becomes even worse. just one example was stark’s line of we need to find vis, who might be able to find him “steve rogers might” why would he though?

steve isn’t this huge wealth of intelligence (as in knowledge and information, not smarts), if he had said natasha, that would’ve made sense. if he said wanda, that would have made sense. but no, we needed to set up the civil war talk and steve’s name had a bigger impact. bullshit.

OHOHOH, i should really talk about loki though. i got the feeling the russos just had no idea what to do with him and didn’t care. the only way his final actions make sense is if you view it as “suicide by thanos”. like. standing in front of thanos, giving him some weak drivel about pledging loyalty and then summoning a butter knife in the back of his hand, while thanos’ buddies stand behind HIM, and straight on attack? bull-fucking-shit. i could see how his final words might have been to thor, to say “hey, we’re family, goodbye” and shit.. but in his current state of mind and in that moment, it’s so out of character to do what he did.

loki would have slunk into the shadows, maybe fake being killed so that thanos might feel he had his fun and leave thor. which is what i hope happened, but somehow i don’t believe it anymore, since he would have been blown into space too, i guess. i had hopes he’d snuck onto the donut maybe, but.. nah.. probably not. though i WILL fantasize about loki being on titan too, with a very messed up tony. oh wait, quill’s alive too... right...

great scene by the way, on titan, kill all the aliens and let three human white dudes sitting there. eh, two. strange died too.

-breeeeeathe-

alrighty.

so, treatment of loki put me in a very bad headspace. they didn’t even bother showing the setup of that scene. bruce knows loki was sent by thanos. we will never know what loki actually said to them before they were borded, it’s just cast aside.

so, i am willing to attribute a lot of my grievances with this piece of shit movie to an opening scene that pissed me off ROYALLY. i wouldn’t have minded him dying per se, i was expecting it kind of, but the way they did crushed my suspension of disbelief. the bad writing continued to do that, so i was beside the movie, watching from the outside for the entire time and completely emotionally detached.

i wanted to go home to watch inane let’s plays and play idle games, i did not give a single fuck. i tried, i wanted to like the movie. i even came up with all sorts of plottwists, that might have made things interesting. one of which would be a heel-turn of thor where he kills thanos and takes the gauntlet, now THAT would have been cool and actually sort of in character. i liked his heart-to-heart with rocket about not having anything left, so... i could see it.

my mind supplied all these alternate developments to try and redeem what i was seeing, but no.. aaaaaand the disintegrating. now. infinity gauntlet complete, thanos nopes out of wakanda and half the universe dies. no send-off, no context. it felt like MARVEL culling the herd, that’s gotten to big, it felt fake and random. i mean it was supposed to be random in canon, but it really jsut felt to me like feige standing there with a clipboard going “okay black panther is gonna bomb, don’t need t’challa anymore i guess.... let’s see... bucky, eeh.. let’s kill all this stucky talk. who else. vis, out. (i was gald about that one actually)”

[and would they have killed of t’challa if they had known how well bp was received? maybe they thought it would just add some one-time “flavor” and be like this “see, we can have an african lead too” that didn’t need to be made any deeper. ugh.]

like the only death that had an impact was peter, he’s the only one that got sort of a send-off. i guess bucky, because he was the first, felt special too. it was sooo lazyyyy....

it’s like, we need to kill many people, but it’s also a disney movie so it cannot feel too much like a massacre. it just fucking sucked.

romance! eh. yeah. watching a 20-year old woman with a 2-year old man who looks about 60 is just so many shades of wrong and uncomfortable, god am i glad vision is gone.

there was the obligatory bruce-nat glances, but nothing more. there was a bit of tony-pepper stuff, and i hate that ship. squicks me the f out for some reason. one of them being that they reconciled off-screen in homecoming and i have never seen how there’s anything more than friendship between them, i see the two as a brother/sister like relationship, so the forced romance and marriage and all that, ugh.

quill and gamora is actgually pretty sweet, their moments also provide character development, i like.

ooookay that was a long one and i got a lot off my chest. i just felt hollow and like i wouldn’t be excited about anything in life anymore, i still feel like it tbh. even though i tried to not get hyped about it, because i had tons of doubt, i wanted to enjoy the movie and i so thoroughly didnt, that i do not feel like seeing another marvel movie ever again, and that is some strong shit.

i have measured my life in “how long until thor2″ and “just half a year to civil war” and stuff like that, so... it feels like a huge loss. hope ill get some excitement back somehow, just now i feel nothing but cynical and jaded and i hate it. i like to like things, i like being positive about things and i tried, i really tried.

fuck you marvel

[blameblamebts]

rule number three Pt.1

Genre: Contract Marriage Au!/Romance/Angst

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Reader

A/N: Not like I have 2 other series to finish :) sdhsgdgshgd i’m really excited for this fic ngl... enjoy!

Snippet + Summary /

gif cr.

   “I really don’t know why I married you.”

I frown at my newly-wed husband, who reclines back on the love-seat in our honeymoon-suite, shoes kicked off into different directions, picking through the different varieties of chocolate set on the table besides candles and flower petals. How romantic. I rolled my eyes.

Shoving only the ones he liked into his mouth, he chuckles.

    “I don’t know either—can you pass me the remote?” He points.

I glare at him, but he simply scrunches up his nose, trying to be cute. What happened to the well-refined Jeon Jungkook I had agreed to marry.  

    “Get it yourself.” I groan, turning on my heels, feet aching from the long flight.

    “Oh wait!” Jungkook yells behind.

Already annoyed, I still turn to hear him out.

    “I have a girlfriend by the way.” And right when his words leave his lips, the door-bell buzzes. “She’s here.” He says, immediately taking a stand, flashing me another quick smile.

    “Maybe you should have, I don’t know, told me earlier!?” I yelled the latter part of my sentence.

Jungkook waves me off with his hand, already at the door. I groan once again in frustration, this time louder, before entering the bathroom, making sure to slam the door behind me.

When I come out of the bathroom, I feel much more relaxed. The bath was something I had definitely needed. Manicured fingers pressed down the muscles of my sore neck, eyes taking in the sight of the empty Honeymoon suite. The suite is awfully quiet an hour after my bath, and it must have been for a while since there is no sign of Jungkook. He must have left with his...girlfriend, who had come earlier. I have yet to meet the woman, but I can already tell she won’t be a great fan of me, which turns out to be true, but we’ll get to that later.

Sitting at the foot of the welcoming bed, I stare at nothing, mind racking through the past few weeks and the decision I made a month ago. A contract marriage with Jeon Jungkook, a gentlemen on the outside, and a playboy...on the outside. He was probably just a slob on the inside, my eyes rolling at the sight of his coat thrown not-so-neatly on the floor at the side of the bed. God, and I thought he was some sort of angel.

Jungkook doesn’t return for the next handful of hours, probably fooling around with his girlfriend.

It hasn’t even been more than a month that I had met Jungkook, how would I survive living with him for a year if I hate it already so much. He was such a sweet talker though, that I didn’t regret my decision even days after I scribbled my signature on that goddamn contract.

...

Four weeks Earlier

Entering the designated restaurant Jungkook had texted me the address to the previous night, my eyes gaze around in awe. The place is elegant almost to the max, everyone seated wearing tuxedos and dresses just for the sake of a meal, there is a pianist sitting behind a grand white piano, playing soft music on the small stepping stage, and I gulp because I’ve only seen such in movies. Before I could even step up to the man behind the podium at the entrance, who was most likely the manager or something, a hand slides across my waist, my eyes shooting instantly to a smiling Jungkook.

   “Hello future Mrs.Jeon.” He chuckles, leading me forward, form stiff as I follow along, and I’m speechless.

   “—Hello, we have a reservation under Jeon.” The man behind the podium nods, a welcoming smile etched on his lips.

   “My father is probably here already—” He squeezes his grip around my waist lightly, voice just a whisper. “Don’t be nervous, this is just a formal greeting, it won’t matter if he likes you or not, you’ve already signed the contract.” Jungkook’s breath fans across the shell of my ear, making me shiver in his arms.

For a second I had forgotten that all this was a facade, this fake love that we—he, created for the sake of what he said was “family pressure”, which I highly doubt, was all for show, a sham. I sigh as he brings me along. And expecting to see only his father sitting there at the table, I see another younger woman besides the man, smiling as she speaks. She didn’t look too old, maybe my age or maybe a few years older, dressed even more elegantly than me, as she chit-chats with an older man, who I guessed was Jungkook’s father.

   “Oh. She’s here too.” Jungkook not so discreetly rolls his eyes.

I didn’t see what was wrong with her being here. Was she his father’s assistant? His older sister? There’s plenty of questions roaming in my head, but I didn’t want to be rude and ask. Instead I allow Jungkook to drag me towards the table, where my future father-in-law for the next year sits with a woman who is a hundred times prettier than me.

The woman leans in before brushing her lips against Mr. Jeon’s, a low groan emits from Jungkook’s lips next to me.

Oh!

He clears his throat and the duo turn, the woman’s gaze fixing immediately on me.

   “Jungkook, nice of you to finally show up.” Mr. Jeon laughs, his eyes turning to the small girl latched at his son’s arms, me.

   “You must be Y/N, I’ve heard so much about you.” His smile doesn’t falter.

I highly doubt he had heard of me besides that I’m going to marry his son, because let’s be honest, Jungkook doesn’t care enough about me to boast to his father.

    “This is my wife, Rose.” He gestures to the woman clad in a beautiful peach dress.

So Jungkook had a step-mother, that too so pretty. The woman smiles wider, taking my hand in hers, soft in my calloused hands, making me feel even more self-conscious.

   “Nice to meet you.” I manage to squeak out, but immediately stiffen feeling Jungkook’s lips against the side of my head, a soft kiss pressed on my hairs.

   “She’s a real beauty isn’t she?” Jungkook smiles at Rose.

Rose looks dazed for a second before looking at me once again, but grins yet again.

   “She definitely is. You have great taste in women, son—”

   “I’m not your son.” Jungkook immediately narrows his brows, his tone cold.

The atmosphere takes a sudden turn, silence surrounding us for a brief second before Mr. Jeon clears his throat.

   “Why don’t we all take a seat, Jungkook be a gentleman and let your fiance sit.” He smiles sweetly at me.  

Jungkook pulls out my chair, as does Mr.Jeon for Rose. Maybe he should’ve told me a little background information about his family so I would be prepared with statements like “So I’ve heard you play golf”, or “Is it hard to run such a large business.” Assuming that’s all rich people play golf. But of course, I sat there in the suddenly tense atmosphere, twiddling my thumbs. Our waiter for the night finally comes to our table handing out menus, sweet talking us into ordering the special dish of the evening, with some sort of expensive wine to go along.

   “Y/N, tell us a little more about yourself.” Rose chimes up after we order, well Jungkook chooses for me since I’ve never been to such a high end restaurant.

And I thought Jungkook talks about me to his family.

    “What do you do?” She takes a sip of her just poured wine, her glassy gaze sends a shiver down my spine for some odd reason.

   “Uh…—”

   “She’s a waitress.” Jungkook answers for me, eyes almost shooting daggers at Rose, the tension between the two obvious to everyone sitting at the table.

As soon as they hear his words, the look she gives me isn’t a pleasant one, or maybe it was me being paranoid, but I could swear it was there.

   “—And I love it because she isn’t like those snobby girl's father tried to set me up with.” Jungkook smiles at me, a genuine smile that makes him look so much more attractive.  

   “Well that isn’t a bad thing, but you know you’re going to have to leave that...profession, once you become a Jeon right?” Mr. Jeon says.

Wait...what?

    “Of course she knows. She’ll be helping me at the office.”

Maybe if Jungkook spoke to me about these things beforehand, I would’ve actually known. But still I smile and pretend as if I did.

    “Well it’s great to see you settled, or else with the amount of girls you’ve been with in the span of just a month had us so worried.” Rose sighs.

Mr. Jeon clears his throat once again and Rose looks up to a frowning Jungkook, and a dazed me. All I could do was awkwardly stare back at her, she covers her lips.

    “Oh I’m so sorry I should’ve thought before I spoke.” She apologizes.

    “Maybe you should think before doing anything at all.” Jungkook mutters, but before Rose could react, our food arrives

Thank god for that.

Maybe this whole thing would be a disaster after all. Torturously slow, but somehow, the dinner goes on and finally comes to an end. We find ourselves bidding goodbye to Mr. Jeon and Rose. Jungkook is so dedicated to putting on an act, I somehow find myself draped under the warmth of his coat by the end of the night. His hand links my own hand as he whispers something into my ear, which was “Thank fucking god right?” Except with a smile, to make it seem like he was whispering his love to me or something cringe like that. I refrain from rolling my eyes as I smile at his father and step-mother enter their car and watch it drive off.

Jungkook lets out a deep breath, hand retreating back to his side as he tugs on his tie.

    “Let’s go, I’ll drop you off.” He gestures with his head, because obviously he knew I took a cab here.

    “Uh..can you take me to the hospital?” I ask, and Jungkook narrows his brows.

    “What happened?”

    “Oh. Nothing wrong with me—My brother was finally admitted.” I shake my head.

   “Thank you.” I whisper, and Jungkook awkwardly nods.

It was thanks to Jungkook that I was able to pay for brother’s treatment. At least there’s one thing that came out of this marriage.

…

Present Day

The door closed rather loudly, making me jerk awake from the comfort of the couch I had fallen asleep on. Glancing around I see myself, sitting in the almost dark living room of the hotel suite, and I groan because I was starving.

I can see Jungkook’s form move about into the room thanks to the light the drawn curtains let in. Shifting around, I sit up, and Jungkook freezes, almost screaming. I muffle a laugh as he hurriedly turns the lights on.

    “You scared the shit out of me.” He groans, closing his eyes for a brief second before he’s glaring at me.

    “What?” I question. “—it’s not my fault you’ve returned so late.” I roll my eyes, feeling my stomach churn in hunger.

Standing up, my eyes trail to the male across me, Jungkook shamelessly checks me out, to which I scoff.   

   “You have a girlfriend, stop eyeing me.” The words come out a little more bitter than intended.

He chuckles, hands disappearing into the pockets of his trousers.

   “I’m allowed to check you out, Mrs. Jeon.” He emphasizes the last part.

And he told me he isn’t interested in me at all. Before I can say anything smart in return, my stomach lets out it’s own loud growl, making the atmosphere quiet suddenly. Jeon Jungkook blinks at me, and I flush in embarrassment.

    “Um...you haven’t eaten?” He itches the tip of his nose.

I shake my head, my arms wrapping around my stomach because I was starving. I sigh, moving along in the room because I’d rather not stand under Jungkook’s awkward gaze.

    “Where you going?” Jungkook chirps up, seeing that I grab my hotel-room pass from the table by the door.

    “To get food, where else would I go?—I didn’t bring my lover along to this trip, unlike someone” I mutter the second part under my breath.

The halls are much quieter than inside the room, seeing that there wasn’t a single soul in sight. The elevator dings in the distance and I sigh because it was probably really late. Glancing back, Jungkook had already found a comfortable seat on the sofa, his eyes glued to the screen of his cellphone. My heart clenches for a moment because for some reason I hoped he would actually care. Ultimately pulling the door close, which locks automatically, all I can do is sigh because I have to deal with this for another twelve months, and even the thought of it is disheartening.

…

One Month Earlier

    “Sir please, I need this job—it wasn’t my fault!” I exclaim into the cell phone, trying to keep my voice as low as possible.

   “You can’t just fire me! I’ve worked there for almost a year now—I understand she is mad, but believe me, it wasn’t my fault.” My boss wasn’t having any of it, continuing to accuse me of angering a customer.

   “Please. Sir. I really can’t afford to lose this job.” My voice softens, all my responsibilities flashing in front of me.

   “I—” The line on the other end cuts and I exhale loudly, because I had suddenly lost one of my jobs.

My fingers re-dial my boss, or ex-boss, in a frenzy, only to be led to voicemail, the automotive voice bringing my eyes to well up suddenly.

   “Fuck.” I whisper, fingers running through my hair as I stare at the blackened screen of my phone.    

I sigh, because I couldn’t stay out here long enough, both the cold night air, and the illuminating sign of the diner I worked at, lead me rushing back inside.

    “Y/N! Where have you been? Your break ended ten minutes ago.” My manager almost yells at me.

    “I’m so sorry sir, I got caught up with my brother’s doctor.  It won’t happen again.” I lie as I bow deeply, I really couldn’t lose this job as well.     “How many times have I told you not to use your brother as an excuse, it makes me feel terrible.” He groans, but waves me off as he disappears into the back, telling me to “just get back to work.”

Watching him walk away, a breath of relief releases from my lips, eyes closing as I inhale deeply once again. My eyes only shoot open when I felt myself shuddering from a weird feeling of being watched. However, when I did look ahead, eyes scanning the expanse of the diner, nothing seems fishy, nor was anyone looking. Fingers pressing down on the muscles of my neck, I sigh again thinking I must have imagined it, quickly composing myself, I attempt to look for anything to do, since not many people had walked through the doors this evening, before my manager catches me.

   “You’re very oblivious”

The low tone of a man speaking brings me out of my thoughts, sitting at the counter at the front alone, rather than at one of the tables, his eyes are on his phone, and I wasn’t very sure if he was addressing me or not.

Glancing around at the emptiness around me, around him even, I concluded that he was indeed talking to me. Looking up his dark gaze meets my confused ones. He sighs before taking a small sip of his coffee, making a bitter expression at the taste before clearing his throat.

    “That man at the very end table has been eyeing you all evening, even made some circles around the counter—you know him?” He questions, glancing back once, only to roll his eyes at the man who was on the phone coincidentally.

Quickly shaking my head, I return back to my work, although my eyes glance towards the end table every now and then. It’s only when my shift finally ends, and the creeper disappears that I quickly slip out the glass doors.

The young man that had told me about the end-table creep eyed me as I rushed out, and he raises a brow when he sees that same creeper start following behind.

   “Stupid girl” he mumbled, watching the man who had been on her case follow behind.

He shakes his head, downing the cup of coffee he had before, before he left behind. Normally he’d look the other way, mind his own business, but after the shitty meeting he had with his father earlier that morning, anything to distract him, he’ll take it. When he gets outside he sees a few other bodies besides the one man, all scary-looking, three others to be exact. The young man follows behind, closely, but not too closely. It was getting darker by the minute, the four men a few meters away were dressed in dark slacks and blazer, he had also happened to wearing similar clothing, and he rolled his eyes because clearly these men were part of some sort of gang, and he, was not. He narrowed his gaze at the girl who didn’t even turn once, to look back at who was behind her. God how oblivious does she get, he had thought.

The silence of the night had finally broken with the blaring ringtone of her cellphone, she halted in place, and so did the four men behind her, so did this young man. He could see the light shine back on one of the man’s face from the man’s own phone as he stared down at it. The young man narrowed his eyes again, this time a little confused. She knew them?

Do Not Answer

The caller flashed on the screen, making me nervous all of a sudden. I had managed to avoid them the past week, lucky enough to not encounter them at all today, thanks to the guy back at the cafe. Sighing I cut the call, and stuff the phone back into my pockets, but this time as I start to walk a voice makes me freeze, very familiar tone laughing as he calls my name.

    “Yoohoo Y/N!” His raspy voice is loud, and I slowly turn, frightened.

Facing the familiar face that I had refused to say I knew back at the cafe, I grip tightly at the strap of my handbag.

    “Avoiding our calls now too? That doesn’t make me too happy.” He says as he begins to walk forward.

The erratic beating of my heart is loud in my own ears, throat dry, and mind blank, because I really didn’t know how I would escape this time. There was nothing to distract them, no good-looking man in a suit to warn me, just them four, and me.

    “What’s wrong, suddenly so quiet?” The leader of the group chuckles, a heavy-set man has his head cocked to the side as he glares at me from behind him. Glancing behind him on the opposite side he meets eyes with two other skinny men, before itching the tip of his nose and taking in a deep breath.

    “Listen we just want our money, there’s no reason to run. Besides I don’t like hurting women.”

In a way, their reason made sense, they lent money, now they want it back. But what didn’t make sense was that I wasn’t even the one who had taken from these frightening sharks, and besides it’s only been a week.

    “I’ve told you before, I don’t have your money. Take it from Jinyoung, he’s the one who took the money.”  I managed to speak, masking my shaking voice somehow.

He turned to meet eyes with the others before they all broke out in laughs.

    “Oh Y/N, how can you call your father by his name—tsk tsk. I thought you had at least some manners.”

I roll my eyes because that man was a shitty excuse of a father, god knows where he was right now. Probably passed out drunk somewhere.

   “Such a small girl, but so much confidence huh?” He finally raises a hand, his knuckles coming closer to caress my face.

I stood still, frozen almost. Wide eyes and honestly, terrified.

    “Y/N!”

This new voice brings everyone to the silent path we had walked, everyone turning with narrowed and wondering gazes. Eyes glued ahead, the big man moves out the way, and I watch the figure of a familiar face draw near, almost sighing seeing the small smile on his lips. Hoping I wouldn’t die today. They all grow defensive, all turning straight to face this new man, wondering who the hell he was.

    “What do you want kid?” A third, scrawny looking guy says out in annoyance, and we can clearly see this young angel make a sour face at his words.

Finally he clears his throat, and we wait with almost bated breaths for him to speak, to explain.

    “I’m here to walk Y/N home—who the hell are you all?” This time his tone is dripping of annoyance, and suddenly I wasn’t so sure about calling him an angel.

The group of sharks are almost speechless because he had stolen their question, all four exchanging glances before turning to me. And all I could do was stand frozen.

   “If it’s money you want I’ll give it to you. Just leave her alone.”

Wait, what?

    “Who the hell are you to pay us back in her behalf?!” The fourth guy who had been silent throughout had finally spoken up.

He sighs, relaxing his shoulders before he speaks, a slight smile spread on his lips.

    “Her fiance.”

______

To be continued.

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[g0ldpainted]

Ravus cheating on S/O

Heya! This is the final boi that had yet to be released. I did some touch-ups because I wasn’t happy with it - aah y’know what I mean. I hope you enjoy it! :)

Noctis cheating 1 ; 2 ; 3 // Gladio cheating 1 ; 2 ; 3 // Prompto cheating 1 ; 2 ; 3 // Ignis cheating 1 ; 2   

Words: 5140+

Genre: Angst, heartbreak, “happy end”, alternative game route

Spoilers: Yes! It plays during the game. 

Trigger Warnings: Explicit sexual act depicted briefly, cheating

Being in a long distance relationship means commitment, honesty and tons of trust but most of all, patience - at least for Ravus and his S/O. Their love started at the Niflheim army. While Ravus was forced to join, his S/O joined on their own because they wanted to take revenge for their parents. They were killed by Lucians. His S/O was fairly shy yet incredibly talented, they immediately caught Ravus' eye. Their mysteriousness attracted the blonde - Ravus was determined to get to know them. It was their aura, they were different from everyone else. Before he knew it, he was head over heels in love with them. They weren't easy to crack, had a pretty hard shell and high walls built around them, but every minute of lowering their walls, opening their shell was worth it. Ravus himself wasn't the most sociable guy. To say it was easy for him would be a lie. Both of them had to learn how to open up to one another and in the process, they fell for each other. 

Once the ice melted, it didn't take long before they were dating. His S/O was the one who initiated their first kiss and after their first kiss came many, many more. Sooner or later Ravus was at their mercy, completely and deeply in love with them. His S/O felt the same way so they decided to give it a shot and date - but chose to keep it a secret from all other cadets for the sake of rumors. They were inseparable and on top of that, each other's firsts in any- and everything related to love. During missions, they complemented each other perfectly; what one couldn't pull off, the other did with ease. And that was exactly why people suspected that they were in a relationship. 

It was one unfortunate evening they spent cuddling that revealed it all - they were caught as another drunk cadet broke into Ravus' room. In result, they had to make their relationship public.

If that one cadet hadn't told everyone about what he saw that night, perhaps nothing would've caused their love to be put through a hard trial: they were parted, not allowed to go on missions together any longer.

Full of worry for each other, both became clumsy, inattentive. While Ravus learned to deal with it, learned to appreciate being able to embrace them in the evenings after a long mission, his S/O started having slip-ups. They eventually ended up getting wounded fatally. It was thanks to urgent first aid that they survived. While the Niflheim army paid for their healing process, they immediately broke their contract, threw them out. That one slip up almost cost them their life, but most certainly their job - they were excluded from the army. 

And that's how their long distance relationship began. After 2 years of dating at the army, they had to get used to some distance separating them. Ravus invited them to live at Fenestala Manor, the place he grew up in with his family. While they happily accepted his offer, seeing it as him proving his love, they were still divided. Ravus wasn't home for the majority of the time, was busy working for the army, so his S/O was left alone with his sister Lunafreya, the oracle. It was pure luck that Luna and them got along so well they became friends. Luna even tried to heal their wounds and broken bones.

Whenever Ravus was off for a day and he dropped by for a visit, they spent time alone. For the first time since they got together, they could hold each other, kiss or make love without the constant fear of someone interrupting. Their relationship was going great. The first few weeks of them staying at his Manor, while they were still wounded, Ravus continuously sent herbs, tea, special ointments - anything that'd help soothe their pain. And when he was around, he was their own personal butler - the actual prince of Tenebrae loved pampering his S/O. Once they got better, they even had dates outside of someone's room! They enjoyed the beautiful nature, especially the fields of flowers, together. Needlessly to say, they were both head over heels in love; fantasizing about their future, talking about having a family, exchanging innocent pecks, writing love letters when they were separated,.. - It was going incredibly good for them, although they were torn apart by distance and each time he left their hearts ached. But that all changed when Ravus was promoted to deputy high commander years later.

They knew he had worked hard to reach a high level, were with him all along, so they didn't want to complain about him being even busier than he used to be.. But with each visit, they seemed to be growing apart. Something about him was different, more determined and stubborn. They often argued - which was something they hardly ever did in the past years.

Finally, when Niflheim attacked Lucis and Ravus was wounded severely due to what seemed to be his own greed, their relationship began to crack. His S/O was infuriated, their boyfriend was going through immense pain but they couldn't be around. What worried them, even more, was that Luna left their mansion, too. She was on her way to get married to Noctis, the prince of Insomnia. Therefore, Ravus' S/O was all on their own. Until some Niflheim troops came to pick them up. Ravus demanded to see them while he was off duty to heal. 

But when they met, all they felt was heartache. 

A magitek prosthetic replaced their boyfriends left arm. But along with that, his eye color changed, he suddenly had heterochromia eyes. And most importantly, his character adjusted. All that was on his mind was his sister - which was a good thing considering she was in a dangerous situation - and war. He continuously babbled on about plans and couldn't find a minute to calm down or focus on his S/O. The only thing that took his mind off was sex. The rough, reckless and painful-if-not-done-correctly type - not the one that was rough and nice. Unfortunately, that sex was also the only reason he flew his S/O in. When they declined his advances, told him to stop, he began raging. Not only did it scare them, it also made them feel like an object. In those 48 hours they were given before they'd be flown back to Tenebrae, they slept with him just once. One time that made their body feel like it was about to break in two. He hurt them, couldn't quite control his new power.. But he didn't care, ignored their pleas to stop. Perhaps if they hadn't been in tremendous pain, they wouldn't have declined the quickie he demanded before they left.

Their goodbye wasn't heartfelt. Ravus seemed to be bitter, unsatisfied, upset with his S/O for not delivering some kind of duty that they apparently had as his lover. Still, he didn't show concern for their aching body, didn't even apologize. Eventually, his S/O was sent back to Tenebrae, violated, in pain and devastated by their boyfriends actions.

For months, they barely had any contact. While they still wrote love letters to him, telling him how much they love them, he didn't seem to appreciate it. They were lucky if he replied. The flowers he usually sent them? Nope, he stopped doing that, too. He didn't visit them either. Ravus changed. They were all alone in the huge Nox Fleuret Manor. The only person occasionally checking on them was Maria. 

She was the one that delivered the horrible news of Luna's passing and that their beloved boyfriend was now aiming to deliver King Regis' blade to Noctis. Followed by the delivering of that news, daemons started attacking Tenebrae. Ravus' S/O barely fled from them and the fires spreading through the grass. They spent multiple hours trying to reach their boyfriend, trying to find out what was going on. Somehow, they accidentally ended up calling some other commander which sent troops to pick them up. They didn't know that it was Niflheim that made those daemons attack, otherwise, they wouldn’t have called them for help. At this point, they considered themselves lucky for having reached anyone that was willing to help.

However, unlike before, they were suddenly treated like a criminal, pushed around with a gun pointing at their head until they arrived at the base they knew so well. The base it all started at.

Knowing they'd soon be in the arms of their lover, someone that was sure to need them after the passing of his sister, they felt at ease even though they were handled roughly by the troops. They were clinging onto the Ravus they got to know, the Ravus they loved.. And sincerely hoped he'd shine through now that something so terrible happened. Little did they know that nothing could've ever prepared them for what they were about to witness.

"It'll all be okay soon" they continuously reminded themselves.

"His room is over there, walk on your own!" one of the troopers ordered them, pushing them forward with their rifle.

Stumbling towards what seemed to be their boyfriend's new room, they rolled their eyes. Just like anyone else, they certainly didn't like this kind of treatment. What really threw them off were their chuckles. They started making fun of them.

"I'd appreciate if you'd leave me alone," they informed them, glancing over their shoulder with a frown.

"Shut up and knock!" one of them shouted.

Sighing, they stepped forward and finally knocked. The whispers and laughs behind them were confusing but once they knocked a little harder and the door opened lightly, they knew why. Soft moans and grunts rang through to their ears - it was undoubtedly Ravus' voice.. But not only his'. As a female moaned fairly loud, their heart started racing.

"This can't be.." they thought to themselves as the laugher behind them grew louder.

Although Ravus had hurt them before, they didn't want to throw their 9 year long relationship away. They still loved him dearly and believed that it was just one slip up, that he would apologize when they confront him about it, that he never actually meant to hurt them but underestimated his desire and new powers. They were convinced he still loved them. But now that they stood in front of his room.. And heard those unpleasant noises, they were beginning to doubt it, even felt naïve for believing in his good side.

Ignoring the noises behind them, they slowly stepped inside the room, trying hard not to make too much noise. To ensure no one would follow, they closed and locked the door.. Then slowly walked into the room. Their stomach dropped as they saw their boyfriend on top of some busty, dirty-blonde haired woman in his bed. They were having sex. Her legs were wrapped around their boyfriend's waist, pulling him closer.

"Ravus' ugh.. Harder, please" the female begged, scratching his back as he followed their command.

Judging by how hard the bed rattled, he was once again practicing rough sex. But at least this woman seemed to enjoy it.. Unlike his S/O.

"Ngh, you feel incredible" he groaned while he continuously thrust into them. 

Watching their boyfriend screw some other lady made them feel sick to the bones. Their heart broke with every second of them going at it but instead of feeling the pain, they immediately began to feel numb. Eventually, he flipped the woman over and roughly tugged on her hair. When they saw how bruised parts of her body were, full of hickeys, bites.. And perhaps even slaps, they started fighting their tears. 

"Is he.. Really into something.. So rough?" they wondered, shaking their head in disbelief, "Is he really cheating on me..?"

Fearing he'd get angry at them for interrupting, they decided to keep quiet. Usually, they were rather proud, would walk right out of a situation that upset them.. But this was different. Ravus was their first boyfriend, they had never been cheated on before.. They didn't know how to react, couldn't tear their eyes off of the scene, couldn't stop watching their boyfriend have sex with some female. His S/O was frozen in place. Nine years of pure love thrown out of the window. A terrible emptiness started spreading inside of them.

"Aaah! Ravus, it feels so good - k-keep going" the female ordered him, holding herself up on all fours.

As the prince of Tenebrae slapped the females butt repeatedly, his S/O flinched. The way he caressed it once his imprint was showing sickened them. When he took time between his thrusts, even slipped out of them just to place a delicate kiss on the bruised buttock, they were dangerously close to throwing up.

"You know I love that ass of yours" he proclaimed, following by biting it.

Hearing him use vulgar language was rare. If he ever brought up swears or something of that sort, he didn't hesitate to apologize. No matter how many times his partner told him it was okay. 

"Then how about you claim it?" she playfully suggested, glancing over her shoulder to look at him. 

"I will" he informed her before leaving another imprint of his teeth on her butt.

Without any warning, he entered her again, making her lose her balance and moan loudly. Pulling her up against his body, Ravus thrust away inside of her.  

"Oh baby, your dick is amazing" she moaned into his ear.

In return, he started nibbling on her neck. At this point, tears were already running down his S/O's cheeks. The way they felt was indescribable, a mixture between empty, disappointed, frustrated, upset and plain sad. These walls that Ravus tried so hard to lower, the shell he cracked so carefully.. It both stared rising back up. They began to shield themselves, erase him out of their comfort zone. His betrayal was too much.

"Fuck, I love this" he proclaimed, slowly climbing out of the bed, tugging her along the entire time, never breaking their connection.

Right when he was turning around with the female in his arms, ready to press her against some nearby wall, he saw his S/O. His eyes immediately widened and he let go of the female in front of him. It was then that his S/O saw the ropes tied around her chest area and limbs. Her front was severely bruised, too. Not just from hickeys or bites. The ropes seemed to be too tight, hurt her body - but she enjoyed it.

"Ravus.." they spoke softly, quickly wiping their tears away while they were being watched by two pairs of eyes.

"Is that your.." the female quietly asked.

"How did you..- I.." he stuttered, grabbing a blanket to cover himself and a robe to cover the female in front of him. 

In return, they just shook their head, unable to speak. To avoid looking at him and the tied up female, they covered their eyes. It was also a nice way to hide their never-ending tears. They couldn't stop themselves from sobbing, though. 

"This is…- (Y/N).. I..- It's not what it looks like.. Let me explain," he begged, stepping closer to them.

When he tried to touch their shoulders, they pushed his hands off. They were filthy, perhaps full of some other woman's fluids.

"It's just the deed" the female added, "We're only having sex."

"Only having sex" his S/O mimicked and mocked.

"It's.. It's true. I couldn't-.. You weren't-.. " he stumbled upon words, not finding the right ones.

"Ravus, we've been dating for nine fucking years! Nine years!" his S/O suddenly shouted, revealing their bloodshot red eyes to him, "Until you got that stupid prosthetic, we were doing just fine!"

Gulping, he stared right at them. 

"Odelia.. Please, leave" he commanded the female behind him, only turning around to undo her ropes real quick.  

Unable to process this whole ordeal, his S/O sat down on a small couch, putting their head in their hands. Once all ropes were gone, the woman quickly threw on her clothes and left. Meanwhile, Ravus just watched his S/O struggle - he wanted to wait until Odelia was gone before he'd say anything else.

"(Y/N).. I promise, I only love you" he finally stepped closer and sat down beside them so they'd be on the same level.

"How am I supposed to believe this when I just saw you screwing another woman?!" they snapped, moving away from him.

"I.. I figured I hurt you last time we had intercourse - I couldn't risk doing that again" he defended himself. 

"Oh, and so you thought you could just fuck anyone without even contemplating to ask me first?!" they argued, biting their lip hard, "I thought we were exclusive and certainly not in some kind of open relationship."

"I assumed it'd only cause damage to our re-"

"What do you think this just did? I witnessed my boyfriend's weird kinks that he apparently likes to enjoy with strange women," they continued to snap at him, not holding back anymore now that they saw he wasn't feeling angry today.

"I'd love to do this with you - it's just I.. I know it hurts you," he explained, biting his lip hard, knowing he was at fault for having cheated. 

"Ravus stop this bullshit! Not once did you apologize to me or say anything regards the bruises you left on my body - I believed you'd feel bad about it and apparently I was right - but don't play like you were just trying to be the kind guy not wanting to damage his lover," they returned, growing colder by second.

"I have to admit, this new arm does things to me. It was hard to control at first.. And it took me quite a while to figure things out but-"

"I don't care! I was patiently waiting for you to visit me, I was waiting for you to reply to me, I was waiting for any kind of sign that you still love me. Hell, you didn't even pick up your phone most of the time even though we promised to each other we'd have a phone call every day unless it's impossible," they threw more arguments in his direction.

Sighing, he nodded: "I made a mistake. I shouldn't have abandoned you. I-"

"Do you love her? Is that why we're falling apart?" they asked him, staring right into his heterochromia eyes. 

"No, I don't" he firmly replied, telling the truth, "I only love you."

"But if you love me, how can you just.. cheat on me so easily?" they quietly said before sobbing, feeling their frustration pass to sadness, "I'm aware we're lacking intimacy - it's because of the distance - but so far we always found ways to.. Still exchange some form of intimacy. Is it because we're lacking sex?"

"Ugh.. No. I-I was hoping.. You wouldn't consider it that" he admitted, "It's complicated to explain.. but ever since I got treated, received my prosthetic, I've had different urges and needs. It seems to have changed a part of me. For the sake of your safety, I decided to explore it on my own. Magiteks can be unpredictable, I feared this arm could be too. That day I caused harm to you, I figured I'd have to learn how to handle it properly. I couldn't let myself get carried away again and cause even greater damage to you."

"So you admit this prosthetic shit changed you?" they gulped, "Because I very much noticed that, too." 

"It did. It still affects me. For the longest time, I felt a lot angrier.. Which is why we fought so much. And I took my anger out on you.. In bed. Don't you think I heard your cries that night? I didn't ever want to do that again. So… ever since you left, I've had arranged intercourse with Ophelia. She is into.. Harder, rougher stuff.. So I can explore that part with her - without causing you harm" he went on to explain.

"Ever since I left!?" they exclaimed, "Ravus, it's been ages since I last saw you. We didn't even spend our anniversary together. All I got was a fucking 5-minute phone call. You said you were in a rush - in a rush to fuck her maybe?.. This just sounds like a stupid excuse for you to cheat on me. I've spent months waiting for you, wishing you were with me and you just selfishly cheated on me."

"I.. I know. Please believe me when I say that I never intended to hurt you.." he spoke softly, carefully reaching out for their hand, "And no, I was indeed busy participating in meetings on our anniversary. Our next mission started the morning after."

"You could've called me in the evening. Say.. While you're taking a bath or something. Instead, you called me between meetings. This was our 9 year anniversary, not just some bullshit first-month celebration.. It actually holds meaning.. At least to me.." they returned, not having his words.

"It does mean a lot to me, too" he replied, watching them intently, "I just.. I honestly didn't think of calling you while getting ready for bed.. I'm sorry."

"You, out of all the people, should know how important communication in a long distance relationship is.. We've been in one for years. Around 7 to be exact. I always thought we were exclusive. But apparently we're not - since you think you have a free pass to fuck whoever you want" they groaned, "Patience.. Trust.. Honesty.. Commitment - you weren't honest with me, weren't committed to me, betrayed my trust and took advantage of my patience. How is this supposed to go on? When did you want to share your little cheat-time stories with me?"

Ravus nodded slowly, agreed to him having failed them. He didn't deserve them and he was well aware of it. But he needed them and he was willing to fight for them. 

"I should've told you from the start. Should've played with open cards. Your opinion should be something that matters most to me - especially in cases such as this. However, I knew you would disagree. Anyone would. But I needed to find a way to figure those urges out and to satisfy these needs.. They were unbea-"

"Alright, then I'll just cheat on you whenever I feel an itch, too" they raised their hands up in surrender, wiping more tears away right after, "Is that really what you're trying to tell me? That you were feeling especially horny and decided it'd be a good idea to fuck a stranger..? Couldn't you just work out harder to get rid of your extra anger?"

Both sighed in sync. 

"It's not just.. An itch, working out doesn't fix it. Don't you think I've tried that, too? But it's distracting, making it harder to focus..-"

"You could've flown me in!"

"But then I would've hurt you again. There was no winning this situation."

Finding no words to say, they just shook their head in reply. To them, he wanted to play the victim card on him. He wanted to say that he had this evil prosthetic that ended up making him cheat, that it was something he had to do to not hurt them. They couldn’t just believe that.

"How do you expect this to go on?" they murmured, "I can't trust you anymore."

"I.. I'm hoping to be able to prove my love to you. I don't want to lose you" he announced, gulping as he watched them. 

"I just caught you cheating.. I-.. I really don't want to be in a relationship with you right now.. Hell, I don't even want to be here.." they whispered, turning their head away, "You have someone else that's dear to you anyway, why would it matter if I'd just disappear again."

"That's lies. Ophelia is not dear to me. We're - at most - friends -"

"Friends with benefits" his S/O threw in.

"Then.. We're that, okay. But I don't consider her someone precious to me - unlike you. You're the most precious to me. I love you - only you," he explained, trying hard to sound convincing - while he wasn't lying, he knew they'd have a hard time believing him. 

"Ravus, then why do you think it's okay to betray me like that? You've been sleeping with someone - behind my back. I've never even thought about having sex with anyone aside from you. I've never gotten the 'taste' of another man - because I stay true to you," they pointed out while they began to lose their will to continue fighting, it was too exhausting.  

"If that's what you want, I'll -.. You can go ahead and sleep with someone else" he gave in, unsure of what else to say. 

"Oh c'mon, what kind of relationship would that be if we both just continuously cheat on each other?!" his S/O complained, glaring at him, "I, unlike you, prefer to stay loyal to the one I love."

Again, both sighed. 

"I.. Don't know if we can go on. You cheated on me for months.." his S/O quietly admitted, folding their hands in their lap as more tears ran down their cheek, "I.. I always wanted a future with you. Getting married, starting a family, growing old.. - but..-"

"Please, I'm begging you, (Y/N), give me a chance to prove my intentions to you. I.. I won't ever neglect you again, I'll do everything you want me to - but please don't leave me" he begged, actually going on his knees in front of them, cupping their hands in his.  

That slight touch was enough to send shivers down their spine. That tiny touch made their heart skip a beat when it already felt so dead. As disgusting as this situation was, they still loved him, they wanted to believe him, they wanted to spend their future with him. And they loved his touches, secretly longed for them. That's what made all these past months so unbearable for them and this betrayal even worse: they desired his touch but he didn't desire theirs. 

"Fine.." they quietly accepted his proposal, not having enough power to fight any longer - it hurt too much, "But.. The only reason why I'm staying is that I need a new home. The Nifs destroyed your hometown.."

Again, Ravus' eyes widened in shock - he hadn't known about this - but he refrained from switching the subject. First, he had to make up for his mistakes, then consider asking for more details on the actions that took place behind his back.

"You can live here - we won't have to deal with the distance anymore and we could be with each other the entire time" he suggested, sounding hopeful, "I promise, I won't take this for granted."

The idea of being with him, sleeping next to him, being held by him, warmed them from within. It's what they always dreamed off. It was unfortunate that it had to be under these circumstances. 

"No.. I.. We need to take it incredibly slow now.." they informed him, feeling their walls just continuously rising.

They had on other choice, anyway. Where would they go if the place they lived at was destroyed? Maybe their home? They don't have an actual home anymore aside from the Fleuret House.

"That's fine by me. We.. We'll take it slow and work things out. I'm grateful for anything" he said, squeezing their hands softly.

"Okay.. and now put on some clothes.." they commanded him, slowly pulling their hands out of his.

In the end, they decided to temporarily start over. 

His S/O, unfortunately, experienced first hand how ugly his urges were and how unappealing his new needs were to them. For a while, they still pushed him off, told him there wasn't going to be any physical intimacy. To them, it had always been special, it held meaning.. But now that it didn't seem to hold meaning to him anymore, they were hard to convince to cuddle or even have sex. It took months before they eventually gave in. By that time, Ravus was so pleasure-deprived, he completely let himself go. For the sake of wanting to stay with him and wanting him to be loyal to them, his S/O let him go all out on them. And they immediately regretted it. They had to beg him to stop - thank the almighty astrals that he heard it and actually stopped this time. Their body shook with unpleasant pain before it even really began. That's when they knew their future wasn't looking bright.

They decided to stay together, though. 

The longer Ravus dealt with his prosthetic, the easier it was to control it all. So now, when he was with his S/O, he could enjoy their fairly innocent love again. But every once in a while, he still had those urges that his S/O refused to satisfy. Just so he wouldn't go insane, they let him cheat. They let him have an affair with that woman - but only for when his "urges" were bad.

As much as it hurt them to know he enjoyed something so intimate with someone else, they believed it was the right thing to do. However, they set up rules for him. Rules to better their relationship. And with the help of those, they managed to pull through. It was difficult, very difficult. Especially when his S/O was forced to leave him again, live somewhere else. But it didn't stop their love - only made it harder again. They were used to distance, though, it wasn't hard for them to master this.

Ravus visited them at least twice a month and each time, he brought little souvenirs, something to show them how much he appreciated them. It was also him who announced no longer wanting to meet up with Ophelia. He was convinced he could control his prosthetic well enough, that he wouldn't hurt them anymore. And aside from that, he was tired of seeing his lover put on a façade whenever he mentioned seeing her - it was one of their rules that he'd inform them about it. 

Much to his S/O's surprise, he worked hard to rebuild their trust, make them open up entirely again. And he did it. He made them forgive him. It was a long and very hard way until they could fully trust him again but eventually, they got engaged in celebration of their 10 year anniversary. They both believed in their future and decided to give it another shot.

Masterlist ;  Noctis cheating 1 ; 2 ; 3 // Gladio cheating 1 ; 2 ; 3 // Prompto cheating 1 ; 2 ; 3 // Ignis cheating 1 ; 2  

[etc-greys]

Season 14 Episode 5: Danger Zone

Songs of the Episode:

Push It by Salt-N-Pepper

The Gambler by Kenny Rogers

Heartbeats by Aron Wright

Across the Room by Odesza ft. Leon Bridges

Synopsis:

The episode opens with a flashback of Owen in Iraq. Here we see the familiar faces of Teddy and Megan as they judge Owen’s relationship with Beth (a past girlfriend). Then Amelia wakes him back to the reality of being back in Seattle, where we see him saying goodbye to Megan as she’s leaving for Los Angeles.

In LA: Farouk and Riggs are at their new home setting up everything before Megan’s arrival.

In Iraq: Megan goes to get Riggs by scaring him awake. They had previously been fighting but that over now and she begins to open up to him about how nervous she is about the Strat rankings (she needs to be ranked number one in order to be a flight surgeon). As she’s moving about she finds a necklace, in which Riggs then proposes to her with. They meet up with Teddy and Owen to fly out on the chopper.

In Seattle: Owen’s trying to convince Megan to stay, but she’s determined to leave. In Iraq: They reveal the strat ranked number one, but it’s not Megan. Then they get a major call and are forced to refocus their energy on the incoming soldiers/civilians/patients.

In Seattle, Owen decides to go with Megan as she drives to LA.

In Iraq, Megan is mad that she didn’t rank number one and is convinced that Owen didn’t recommend her. But before they can continue their fight, Megan must go help a woman who doesn’t want to be touched by man. Across the tent, Teddy is working on the gunman, and asks Riggs to scrub in with her.

In LA: Riggs and Farouk are working on the house together, when Farouk begins to get overwhelmed by all of the new changes headed his way.

In Iraq, Teddy confronts Nathan about the necklace engagement and about who the necklace really belongs to... Turns out it’s the women he cheated on Megan with’s necklace and it’s engraved… whoops.

On the road: Megan and Owen take a short stop at the old fair grounds they hung out at as kids.

In Iraq: Megan is still treating the women who took down the shooter by giving her a chest tube. Megan is still infuriated with Owen, and blames him for her dream being crushed. Teddy and Rigga are also still working together and Teddy is furious.

In LA: Riggs is on the phone setting up job interviews, when Faruk wants to help by putting his fan together.

On The Road: Megan and Owen are making bets and having fun by playing ring toss, but things turn bitter when he bets that if he wins she must stay in seattle (and he wins). She begins to storm away, but stops to tell him that she’s still angry about being the Strat ranks.

In Iraq: Owen and Megan are working on a patient together, when he says something that leads her to believe that he in fact didn’t recommend her as the number one Strat. Given he said that she “dodged a bullet” and when she asked if he recommended her their patient began to crash (forcing them change topics).

In LA: Riggs just ends a call with Megan when he goes to tell Farouk that she’s gonna be late, but he can’t find him anywhere!!!

In Iraq: Owen and Megan are arguing about the best treatment plan, when she decides to take matters into her own hands.

In LA: Riggs finally finds Farouk. He was by a food truck on the beach, where he wanted to help by grabbing them dinner but became consumed by the choices. (Something he had never experienced before).

In Iraq: Riggs tell Teddy that he regrets cheating, but she had no remorse for him. Meanwhile, Owen is angry with Megan for going against his treatment plan, but she proves him wrong by saving both the guy’s arm and his life.

On The Road: Owen and Megan are still arguing. She tells him that she had everything planned out and that he ruined it. Finally, he admits that he did tank her recommendation because he thought she was childish and would’ve died if she’d made special forces. But really what it all comes down to is that he was too scared to let her go, which is no excuse to hold her back from her dreams. And he goes even further to say that he would do it again. In an attempt to hurt him back she admits that his nickname in Iraq, diamond, was created because he was so uptight and that she was the one who came up with it.

In LA: Riggs comforts Farouk by telling him that while change is scary, it’s also a really good thing. He goes even further to say that it’s okay not to know all the answers and that together they’ll make it through.

In Iraq: Teddy tells Riggs that he’s gotta tell Megan the truth. He admits to being scared of losing her, but she points out that in order for them to have a change, that he must tell her.

On The Road: Owen finally admits that he was wrong, but ruins it by continuing to push her to stay in Seattle. She gets so fed up that she chooses to kick him outta the car.

In Iraq: Megan refuses to go with Owen in the helicopter because she’s still mad at him. And Owen is angry that she won’t go and that she’s so mad about the strat. He thinks she should focus on her engagement and be happy, totally missing the point that that’s not her dream. Teddy snaps and yells at him for not embracing his sister’s dream and how he just crushed it. (She also brings up how difficult it is to watch someone else live your dream, one that you would be willing to give anything for, hinting that she’s in love with him and that he’s oblivious, or as she says an idiot). Owen leaves anyway.

On The Road: Owen says he’s not leaving her again (finally he’s beginning to show his true intentions). Megan can’t stand that he keeps trying to make decisions for her and how judgmental he’s been about Riggs for cheating (and her for staying with him). She just wants to be happy and live her life and appreciate it all after everything she's been through. She also throws back in his face the fact that he cheated on Christina and that he shouldn’t be so judgmental. But then she finally tells him the truth, that she cheated on Nathan first.

In Iraq: Riggs confronts Megan only to find out that she cheated first. Then he admits that he cheated too. She gets so angry and humiliated, but doesn’t have the time to sort things out with him because she’s called to treat her patient (with the chest tube). Megan tells Owen that she needs the helicopter for the female patient and wants to ride along even though it's against protocol, he is hesitant at first, but when she tells him that Riggs cheated on her he says yes right away. Across the tent, Teddy talks to a soldier, and finds out that the woman who is about to be transferred was in fact the shooter, not the man they originally thought! But it's too late Megan is on the helicopter with her and they’ve already taken off. And that’s the last we see of flashbacks and of Megan before she’s kidnapped.

On The Road: Owen is shocked that Riggs tell him that Megan had cheated first. Megan changes the tone, when she recalls a cherished family memory. She recounts a story from when they were growing up and how that experience got her through each day while she was kidnapped. She explains how much she loved the water (it heals her). She promised herself that she made it out alive, that she would live in California by the water. Owen admits that he’s always dreamed of raising their families together, and she tells him that he’s so loyal (almost to a fault) and that he needs to break up with some of his ideas in order to be happy.

In LA: Riggs and Farouk are laying on the mattress set up in the living room, with Faruk asleep on Riggs when he texts Meredith thank you. She receives this message in a similar position with Zola, and texts back the same, just as Megan makes it home. Megan is finally happy and they are finally a family. Owen makes it back home where he calls a quits on his marriage with Amelia because he wants them both to be happy. And they mutually decide to end it and in a somber moment they give their rings back to each other. Across the way, Megan finally gets to be in the ocean and has her dream life. And Owen is finally at peace.

A Few Additional Thoughts:

I think that this episode is important for a variety of reasons. I love how it sheds light on our troops and how their service lives on with them forever. Also thank you to Grey’s Anatomy and ABC for broadcasting a PSA about the overwhelming number of homeless veterans and the way in which we can help them. Thank you to all of the men and women who dedicate their lives to service!

It was interesting to see how maturely Owen and Amelia handled their separation. They both new what they had wasn’t working, as much as they were great together, things change. They’d grown apart and as Amelia said, she was a completely different person given her brain tumor. I hope this gives her time to figure out who she is outside of her tumor and outside of a relationship.  I also think that now that Megan is safe, Owen can finally be at ease and that this will allow him to finally heal. He could benefit from taking some time to get to know himself and maybe start exploring a new life with Teddy. I see a lot of growth in their futures.

I’m so happy that Megan, Riggs, and Farouk are happy. Now she can finally be at peace and heal alongside the ocean as she’s dreamed about for so long. It’s so beautiful to see how her story played out and that she gets the happy ending she deserves. We’ll miss them!

I would also like to point out how cool it was for Riggs to thank Meredith. They really both played a major role in each other’s lives. Riggs helped Meredith realize that she has the capability of loving again, even if she’s already had the great love of her life. And Riggs was able to open up to someone and heal and finally be with his love of his life Megan. Ultimately, they both helped each other heal.

[imagineteamfreewill]

A Deal is a Deal

Title: A Deal is a Deal

Pairing: Reader x Sam

Word Count: 1,899

Warnings: Angst, coma, mention of brain tumor, other warnings in the tags

Beta: @jpadjackles

Summary: Sam’s in a coma and the reader watches over him.

A/N: Be sure to check the warnings in the tags. Please enjoy, and leave feedback in your reblogs!

EDITED 6-12-20

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_______________

Your eyes were beginning to ache from watching the little green line on the heart monitor, but you couldn’t bear to look away. If something were to happen, you wanted to be the first to see it, even though Sam’s state hadn’t changed since he’d first arrived at the hospital. Still, you wanted to be ready in case it did.

“Mrs. Winchester?”

Turning, you saw one of the nurses—Hannah—standing in the doorway of Sam’s room. She gave you a soft smile and held up a cup of coffee. It was obviously from the hospital cafeteria, and it was probably thick and much too bitter, but at this point, you’d take any caffeine you could get. Dean, who had just left to get coffee himself, had made you go back to the motel to shower and get some rest twice, but besides that you’d just been taking naps on the couch against one wall of Sam’s room. It was hard and not really meant for sleeping, yet the nurses insisted that you try and get some sleep at least once a day.

“Thank you,” you said, smiling a little in return.

Hannah stepped into the room and handed over the cup. You took a sip, grimacing at the bitterness of the hot liquid.

“They didn’t have any cream left today,” Hannah explained as she pulled over a chair and took a seat to your left. 

You nodded and glanced over at her as you cradled the cup in your hands. The heart rate monitor beeped steadily and you looked back up at it. Besides the beeping, the room was silent. You hated it.

“You know,” Hannah murmured, breaking the quiet, “Sam’s going to be okay. From what you’ve told me, he’s a tough guy. He’ll come out of this soon.”

“It’s been a week already,” you replied. Your chest tightened just thinking about how many days and nights you’d been sitting at your comatose husband’s side. “Everyone’s been saying that for days now, and I just—” Your voice cracked as you trailed off, and Hannah squeezed your shoulder in understanding.

“I know, Y/N, but he’s been doing just fine. He’s going to wake up, I know he will. You just need to have a little faith.”

Faith.

That’s what Sam had been talking about when the two of you had been driving to your most recent case. He’d been telling you the story of Dean being healed by a faith healer, or so they’d thought. Sam had always encouraged Dean to have faith, and he’d reminded you just before you’d pulled into the motel parking lot that you should always have faith in both the good in people and the good in situations. Things will always turn out for the best, he had said.

A little part of you wondered if Sam had known something like this was going to happen. He’d never spoken of faith like that to you, and you found yourself thinking that maybe, just maybe, he had been trying to prepare you for this in his own special way. 

Hannah squeezed your hand, pulling you out of your thoughts, and you gave her a tiny smile as she stood to leave the room. After watching her walk out, you turned your attention back to Sam. He didn’t react when you slipped your hand into his.

“Come on, baby,” you murmured, trying to keep from blinking so the tears wouldn’t escape. “Wake up for me. I need you. We need you, me and Dean. I don’t know what to do without you here with me.”

There was no response except for the steady beep of the monitor. It’s like it was trying to remind you that while Sam was here, he wasn’t here. Not in the way you wanted, anyway.

Shaking your head, you yawned and stood, leaning over him to kiss his forehead.

“I’m gonna sleep, Sam. Wake up for me, and then if I’m not up by then, you need to wake me, too. We can get something to eat and be out of here in no time. It’ll be just like normal, I promise,” you whispered. He didn’t reply and your heart broke even more, as if that was even possible.

After letting go of Sam’s hand, you laid down on the couch and pulled the blankets up over you. Exhaustion weighed heavy on you and you sighed as you tried to get comfortable. Sam was still in your line of vision and you watched him dutifully until you could no longer keep your eyes open.

________________

“It’s good to see you again, Sam.”

Sam turned to face the voice. The world around him shifted and the inside of the motel room melted away into an old, familiar cabin. It only took Sam a second to realize what had happened, but he wasn’t surprised. 

“I’m dead, aren’t I?” he asked.

Death sighed and stood from one of the armchairs with the help of his sphere-tipped cane. When he met Sam’s eyes, his expression was unreadable, and Sam took a wary step back, not sure what to expect.

“Not quite,” Death replied, “but close. You’re in a coma. Your soul has been hanging on for just over a week, but now it’s time for you to let go.”

Sam shook his head. “I know that this was our deal, but I just need more time to—”

Death didn’t let him finish. He held up a hand and shook his head once. “Sam, I need to reap somebody. Whether or not it’s you, I don’t care, but I don’t go back on my deals. I would expect that someone like you would understand the consequences if I did such a thing.”

Sighing heavily, Sam ran a trembling hand through his hair and turned his back on Death. Outside the cabin, it was a perfect day; the sky was a vibrant blue, the trees were full of green leaves, the grass was plush and dotted with wildflowers… It was nothing at all what Sam expected his meeting with Death to look like, and he was thrown. Everything was different and he felt off-kilter.

“Can I see Y/N? And talk to her? Just one last time?” Sam asked. He turned around and met Death’s eyes, secretly pleading him to give in. “I’ll go with you afterward, and I promise there’ll be no tricks or traps, but I just can’t leave without saying goodbye. She doesn’t deserve that. I know I’m doing this to save her life, but…” 

Death watched Sam as he struggled to find the words he wanted to say. Finally, when Sam trailed off with a helpless expression, Death replied, “I don’t take requests from anybody, especially not from hunters, and especially not from a Winchester.”

Sam looked heartbroken, and the little part of Death that still felt for those he reaped reared its ugly head, telling him that it would be cruel to deny Sam at least something. Death didn’t pride himself on being especially cruel, and he had to admit that the Winchesters had done things that had helped him immensely. Sighing, he reluctantly waved his hand.

Billie appeared next to him, a slow smile growing on her face when she saw who was standing before her. “Well, well, well,” she sang, looking like the cat who’d caught the canary as she sized Sam up. “If it isn’t Sam Winchester. To what do I owe the honor?”

“I need you to deliver a message for Sam,” Death interrupted before Sam could even open his mouth.

The pleased expression on Billie’s face disappeared almost instantly.

“I am not a messenger,” she spat. Death didn’t reply, and after a moment her mood was palpably sour. “Alright, I’ll do it. I’d like to keep my position, so know that I’m not doing this for you, Winchester. It’s for me.” Crossing her arms, Billie turned toward Sam and watched him, clearly impatient to complete the task.

Sam didn’t entirely trust Billie to give Y/N a message. After all, she’d been holding a supernatural-sized grudge against him, Y/N, and Dean for years now, and he didn’t doubt that she would do anything to reap all of their souls. However, she was his only hope for telling Y/N all the things he wanted to say to her before he left for whatever was waiting for him in the afterlife.

“Tell her…” Sam started, then stopped as he thought hard about what he wanted to say. He had to choose his words carefully. He only had so many. “Tell her that I love her more than anything, and that I’m sorry that I had to do this. It was the only way to save her.”

Billie raised an eyebrow at his addition, clearly curious. 

“Brain tumor,” Death murmured quietly.

Sam nodded sadly in confirmation. “A witch mentioned it to me as a thank you for helping her with something. I didn’t want to tell Y/N… It would’ve broken her. There was no treatment that would’ve been able to help her, and I— I couldn’t let her die. I wouldn’t be able to live without her.”

“And you think she’ll be able to live without you?” Billie scoffed. Sam clenched his jaw as she gave him an amused smirk. “Go on.”

“You can tell her about the tumor if she asks. Tell her I’m sorry. I didn’t want to leave her, but I hope that someday we’ll be able to see each other again.” Sam swallowed, trying not to cry as he added, “Tell her not to try and get me back, okay, Billie?”

“Oh, believe me, Winchester. She won’t be able to get you back, no matter what she tries. Anything else, your majesty?”

Ignoring her remark, Sam thought for a moment and nodded. “Tell her to have faith, Billie. That’s one of the most important things. I love her, and I’m sorry, but she needs to have faith that things are going to be okay without me.”

Turning to Death, he took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a brief moment. Wherever he was going, he hoped that he’d be able to remember Y/N’s smile. He didn’t want to picture the heartbreak and betrayal on her face once he left her for good. That would be worse than hell, he decided.

“I’m ready,” Sam finally said, opening his eyes.

Death nodded and Billie disappeared, leaving the two of them alone once more. With one smooth motion, Death lifted his cane and jabbed it into the air. A crack of white light appeared where the tip broke through the veil. It grew quickly, allowing the brightness to spill out into the cabin. Sam’s heart clenched in fear as Death lowered his cane again, then gestured for him to step into the opening portal.

Sam could’ve sworn that he heard a long, steady beep ringing in his ears as he walked toward the light. He squinted against the brightness ahead of him, holding up a hand to block some of it from his eyes, but just as it became too much and he wanted more than anything to turn back, the light disappeared, leaving him alone in the dark.

“Hello?” he called when there was no change in his surroundings for a few long moments.

And then a scream broke through the blackness.

_______________

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[reiner-is-back-bitches]

Two Halves of a Whole~~ A Reiner Braun X OC Fanfic~~ #16~~ MAJOR SPOILERS

Two Months Later:

"Rayne Lee, you have been under the care of the Wall Rose Head of Medicine for a total of two months. After careful evaluation, we have to seriously recommend that you do not go into the Scout Regiment." I kept my cool. "However, your test results show that you are responding well to the treatment and we absolutely have no reason to keep you from joining. Congratulations, you are now cleared for duty." I kept a straight face and nodded. I had learned that if I get angry with these doctors and their inane questions, they scribble on their notepads and lock me in a room for a whole day. I told them what they wanted to hear, I said anything and everything and it got me out of this place. I was discharged from the Medical Center and was waiting for someone from the Scout Regiment to pick me up and take me to where they were currently stationed. Apparently, I was joining right as they were about to head out on a big expedition outside of the walls.

What great timing, I thought. I closed my eyes and exhaled sharply and began to think about what I remembered my second week in this place after I had decided to sleep for four days straight. I was a fucking Titan Shifter. That was who I was. Rayne Lee was the Wolf Titan. I came from Marley, along with Reiner, Bertolt, Annie, Marcel and Zeke. I had a mission to take The Founding Titan back to the homeland. I was some secret weapon that only a handful of people knew about. I was a very important asset to Marley. I was thrown over the wall on a far side of the district by Zeke in his Titan form. Being one of the most rare and pure of the Titan Shifters, I had a few abilities that others didn't. I could access some of my abilities in human form such as the hardening ability. I turned my hands into razor sharp grappling hooks and used it to make my way down the other side of the wall, using inhuman speed to keep any unnecessary attention off of me. Once I landed I quickly ran through the town, ignoring angry yells and trying to make my way to what I assumed was the center. I ducked into a secluded alley and started cutting myself over and over, willing myself to shift. I couldn't do it, because somehow, I had started to remember that I didn't want this. I had never wanted this. My father, my mother, they knew what I was. They knew what that country would try to use me for and they tried to protect me. I remembered that they were murdered and my childhood stolen. So, I stopped what I was doing and felt like my head was going to split open. I started wandering the streets before finally passing out, my head colliding with the concrete just right to fully expel all those horrible memories from my mind.

I opened my eyes again and I knew this moment was actually bittersweet. I finally remembered who the hell I was. I was finally able to tell my friends, but I was afraid, I was supposed to be a pawn in the attack that had ruined their lives and had only caused my three closest friends grief. I thought about them alot while I was in here. I thought of Mikasa, how I always confided in her and how she never hesitated to call me on my bullshit. I thought of Armin, who had always had the right advise to give me. He would look for a situation to whatever problem was bothering me, no matter how small. I then thought of Eren. I remembered the last time we talked. He always gave me hope that these devils, no these people can fight and win. I felt a headache coming on and I sighed again. I began pacing in front of the stone building. Nerves were growing in my stomach because there was one little thing I didn't share with the doctors which I was surprised that they didn't catch. There are some times when I black out and I couldn't do anything about it. When I come to, I would have no idea what I had done or how much time had passed.

I grunted in impatience and began shifting my weight from one foot to the other, over and over again. I was wearing a worn pair of flats that the hospital gave me and I was annoyed by them. I missed my heavy boots. The weird off colored slacks and over shirt I was draped in was making me very uncomfortable. It was itchy and it wasn't helping my mood. "Fuck!" I cried out as I looked up at the sky and remembered something else that I knew was going to forever eat at me. I was in love with Reiner Braun, the Armored Titan. I knew what he was and what he did. I remembered hearing his and the others names before me and Zeke had headed toward the wall. I started thinking about before I got my memory back, looking back at how I had fallen for the brute. His looks caught my attention first of course, but I guess it also was his demeanor. He was calm yet conflicted at the same time. I couldn't help what happened after that, I was hooked. I was also starting to think that maybe a part of me always knew what he was. That could definitely be how I was able to fall so helplessly in love, because I was. I couldn't help it, I hated the fact that I was in love especially with none other than the most loyal warrior Marley had. There would be no way he would be okay with rebelling. Especially not with the tall asshole lurking around. Despite how awful and precarious my situation was, I still couldn't help but think about Reiner and the last time I saw him after Bertolt kicked the wall in and tried to kill me. I tried not to take it personally, I knew the situation he was in and he was just trying to make sure that no one interfered with the mission. I felt a wave of nausea come over me and quickly walked to the far end of the building, and I leaned over, my hands tightly gripping my knees. I threw up my breakfast in two heaves. Once that was over, I leaned my head back and groaned, my back against the stone building. I had hoped that this sickness would've left me by now, but after a couple weeks, I was still throwing up. I had kept it hidden from the doctors because there was no way I was staying in this hellhole any longer that I had to.

I walked back to the front of the building and looked down at my arms. The cuts I had made were just light pink scars now, but I only looked at them when I really needed to. These scars meant that I wasn't as strong as I thought I was. I was weak-minded and it allowed for me to break and kill one of our fellow cadets. Daz had never done anything wrong to me, he was always so quiet around me and he didn't deserve what happened. I thought of Marco. I knew there was no way he made it. He would've told someone what happened and I would've been in prison instead of a hospital. So I looked down at them and told myself that it was my fault that Marco and Daz were dead. I killed them. I clenched my fists and began to start to feel a plan, a solution growing in my head. Who made me this way? Who wanted to try to use me for their own fucking needs? Who took my whole life away? Zeke. I had to find him and when I did I was going to rip his fucking head off. I looked up at the sound of horses and I saw a tall, well built older man riding toward the Medical Center, leading a spare horse behind him. I stood up straight and squinted my eyes to get a better look at him and recognized him as none other than Commander Erwin Smith, the head of the Scout Regiment himself.

"Huh," I said to myself as I rolled my shoulders out. "Don't I feel fucking special. The big boss himself is riding up to escort me." I spat out the taste of vomit and said my final goodbye to my hellish home of two months. The Commander rode up and pulled back on his horse, stopping right in front of me.

"Rayne Lee?" He asked.

"The one and only," I flashed a large grin before giving him a straight look again. He raised one of his impressive eyebrows at me and I cleared my throat. "So, does the Commander always run his own errands?" I asked, giving a smirk, stretching out my limbs and starting to feel like my old self again. The Commander gave a smirk back.

"Only the very important ones." I gave a curt laugh.

"I guess I really am fucking special." I ignored the look he was giving me and made my way toward the horse. I was about to hop on it, when it started neighing at me and walking away. "Hey!" I yelled. I grabbed at the horse and was finally able to hop on, giving a very triumphant yell. Once I was secured upon the horse, the Commander turned his toward me and started going the way he came. I turned my horse and followed him. "So, where are we headed?" I asked.

"We have to get to the Karanes District." He didn't say anything else.

"Okay, what are we going to do there?" He wouldn't look at me, he just kept his eyes on the road ahead.

"We are heading out on the Scouts 57th expedition, which you now have a place in. We are heading to Karanes because since Eren sealed the hole in Trost, that is the quickest way out of the walls." I shook my head and started waving my hand.

"Whoa, back up a bit. What do you mean Eren sealed the wall? How did he do that?" The Commander turned toward me.

"He used the power of the Titans to seal the hole in the wall with a large boulder." He kept his eyes on me but I looked away. This was news to me, indeed. Eren, my brother, was a Titan Shifter too. I closed my eyes. What did this mean? Was his the Attack Titan power I had heard a little about? I didn't know the extent of the Marleyians and their government, I only knew what Zeke deemed to tell me in between torture sessions, but I was aware of the nine, ten including me, Titan Powers. One had been missing for a while from what I heard, but how did Eren get it? I shuddered at the memory of torture sessions. I remembered the burns, beatings and the extensive shock therapy that still haunted my dreams. I looked back up at Erwin and he squinted his eyes at me before turning away.

"What?" I asked, annoyed again, feeling my nausea coming back. He didn't reply. He just looked ahead and I did the same, trying to will away the vomit rising in my throat. I took a deep breath and focused on just keeping everything down. It didn't work and I had to stop my horse and leaned over its side to throw up. Commander Erwin stopped his horse and had it double back to me. It wasn't an easy passing like this morning. It was one of the bad ones. I heaved over and over until I had nothing left to give. The Commander watched me, a blank look on his face. When it finally was over, I was about to wipe my mouth on my shirt when the Commander handed me a small handkerchief. I used it to wipe my mouth and my hand went up to my short hair. I don't know exactly why I had cut it all off, I was always fond of my long hair. However, that didn't stop me from missing the old rag I had used to tie it up. "Thanks." I muttered. I was about to give it back when I realized I had just used it to clean vomit off of my face, so I kept it. Commander Erwin didn't seem to mind. I clenched it in my hand and we continued to ride fast and hard to our destination.

"Are you sure you're able to fight, Lee?" The Commander asked over the sound of hooves on the payment.

"Yes," I answered after making an irritated noise. "They wouldn't have let me out if that fucking shithole if I wasn't." I glared at the Commander and he glared right back.

"Watch yourself, Lee. You are now a soldier in my regiment. As your superior I expect a little more respect from you, do you understand?"

"I apologize sir." He looked back ahead, and I let my eyes linger on him. He looked like my dad. Or he would if he had black hair, green eyes and a moustache. I felt the same strength of my father in him when I looked back at him. It was comforting to me, almost as if he was still here and not gone from me forever. I looked away from the Commander and was a little unsure of what I was about to say. "Sir," I started, taking on an air of seriousness. "Why do you fight?" He looked back at me and I almost lost my shit. I saw in his eyes the same look my dad would have when he would be telling me about his dream of opening a fish stand right on the edge of the ocean. He had always loved the smell of the ocean and being able to live and work on it was something I remember he was always talking about. 'Just you watch, Ray." He would say from his place at the front of his small fishing boat. 'One day, we are going to be known all over as the greatest fishing duo that ever lived.' I remember asking him why a fishing stand. Why would he dream of such a weird and random thing? 'Because, it's what makes me happy. Fishing on this ocean, with you and your mother always cheering me on, it's like my own piece of heaven. You have to find something that makes you happy, Rayne, happier than anything else in the world. That is what life is all about.'

"I fight for humanity, Lee. I fight for taking back this land from the Titans." I swallowed hard and felt tears coming to my eyes. I looked straight ahead and focused on the ride.

"That's an honorable reason, Sir." I responded, tears falling down my cheeks. He looked over at me again.

"Damn, Lee, no need to get all emotional about it." I knew he was right, I shouldn't be crying so much but here I was, blubbering like a fucking idiot. I wiped my face again and sighed heavily, anxious to be in a uniform again, ready to face my friends and comrades, worrying about what the hell I was going to tell them. What would happen if I told them the truth? How would they react? I decided that I couldn't tell them, not yet. I had to think about a right time. I then suddenly remembered that I wouldn't be able to tell Reiner even if I had wanted to. He had joined the Military Police. He was safe and sound in the interior and I couldn't understand how that was making me feel. I should be happy that he was safe, but I remembered how we fought and how I had wished I had run away with him. Where would we be now if I had? Dead, most likely. We would've been labeled as deserters and the Military Police would've hunted us down and executed us for abandoning our posts. I felt a small sense of relief as I realized that also meant he would never learn about who I was. However, that just meant that they all would be trying to follow through with the mission. If Marley indeed got their dirty hands on the Founding Titan, nothing would stop them from invading with full force and wiping out this entire country. I had to tell someone, anyone about them and also me. What would happen if I did? Would they arrest me? Kill me? What about Reiner, Bertolt and Annie? Also, what of Marcel? Why haven't I seen him? Did he go a different route instead of joining the Cadets? I had so many questions and I had no idea how to go about getting answers. It was awful to keep such a secret from everyone, especially my friends. But I knew in my heart it was the right thing to do. At least for now, it would only cause trouble to tell anyone.

Nothing more was said between me and the Commander. We rode for the rest of the journey in silence. I also hated the fact that I threw up three more times before we finally arrived.

/

When we got to the gate, we only had an hour before we were set to head out. I took this time to look for my friends. My stomach was so full of nerves, I felt dizzy. I tried to keep my hands from shaking but nothing was working. I asked the first person I saw where they were and they told me they were in the tent that was set up to act as a sort of office to discuss stratedgy and other plans. I was about to go look for them when I heard someone causing a commotion.

"Hey, you." I turned and saw a soldier with cold gray eyes walking toward me. "Why are you wearing that crap? Where is your uniform?" I narrowed my eyes at him. His attitude really pissed me off.

"I just got out of the hospital, you short piece of shit. How about instead of being an ass, you lead me to where I can get a proper uniform. Or is your intelligence as restricted as your height?" He got a deadly look on his face as he headed toward me. I grinned and rolled my shoulders out, getting into a fighting stance. "Let's go, big guy. I have been dying to connect my fists against something other than a wall." Before he got to me, the Commander came out nowhere and shouted at him.

"Levi!" The short guy stopped and turned his head toward the Commander. "I need you over here, now. Lee, find the supply tent to get your uniform! And if I see you disrespecting another superior officer I will personally kick you out of my command!" I looked over at him and sighed, relaxing my body, before giving a salute.

"Yes, sir!" I shouted. I looked back at Levi again and he was shooting daggers at me. I smirked and turned away, keeping an eye out for the supply tent. I finally found it and was so happy to see my uniform. I saw the Scout patch and I sighed, realizing that this meant something to the people here. Those wings meant, hope and freedom. The soldiers who were more than ready to give their lives to recover their land from the titans wore this patch with honor. Here I was, an outsider, a monster, about to wear the patch myself. I tried to push out those bad thoughts as I started undressing out of these fucking hospital clothes. After I was dressed in my full uniform, I felt so much better. I hated being in those clothes, they were just an awful reminder of my time in that fucking place, brooding and stewing in the messy situation I found myself in. When I exited the tent, I saw the three people I was looking for. They were quite a way from me, talking amongst themselves. I felt the tears start stinging my eyes. I felt so much love for them, maybe even more than I did before I had regained my memory. I loved these people, they didn't know who I was or anything but they still accepted me and took care of me. I started walking to them, my legs weak and shaking. I saw as Mikasa's eyes flitted up to me and then she did a double take, her eyes growing wide, her jaw dropping. I smiled at her and gave a small wave. Eren and Armin finally turned around and they had very similar reactions. I brought my hands to my face, tears freely flowing. There they were, my friends, my family.

"Rayne." I heard Armin say, tears cascading from his beautiful blue eyes. "Rayne!" He cried and started running toward me, Mikasa and Eren right behind him. I took off toward them as well, my legs strong. I couldn't believe it, I thought, There they were.

"Armin!" I yelled out. "Armin Artlert!" He opened up his arms and I collided into him. He wrapped his arms around me and I did the same, gripping on to him like he was going to disappear. Eren's and Mikasa's arms soon joined in and I was so full of love, I could burst. I had never felt this before. This was a feeling of togetherness and a love I never knew could exist. Mikasa took a hold of me, practically pulling me from Armin's arms. She took my face into her hands and looked at me, really looked at me. It always made me nervous when she did that. Her gray eyes piercing every part of me. It felt like she was looking into my very soul.

"You're here." She kept her hands on my face, even as I nodded, the tears running down. "You're here."

"Yes." I said, and she pulled me toward her, holding me against her chiseled body, her muscular arms damn near chopping me in half.

"Rayne, oh my God." She loosened the grip on me, but kept her hands on my arms. "What in heaven's name happened to you?" I wiped my face and looked up and saw Eren. He had the most straight face of them all, but as soon as I looked into his eyes, he walked toward me and dropped his head on my shoulder, his body shaking. I wrapped my arms around him and held him to me.

"I'm okay, brother. I'm okay." I felt him nod and he wrapped his arms around me. I closed my eyes and cried. I had no idea that they would react like this. Their love for me, this confirmed it what I had already seemed to know. I had to tell them, I had to. "Everyone, listen. I have some news." I looked up and my eyes fell on him. He was walking with Bertolt and he turned to see what was going on since some people had already started to gather around us. When he saw me, he brought his hand up to him mouth and stopped dead in his tracks. I felt my heart speed up at just the sight of him. He did things to me that I didn't even fucking know was possible. He started making his way towards me and I slowly broke away from my friends to meet him. Once we were standing in front of each other, I looked up at him. I couldn't fucking believe that he was here, a Scout patch on his jacket. I had thought he was gone, far away from me.

Yet there he was, standing in front of me, almost like a blessing and curse all rolled into one. I opened my mouth to say something but Reiner reached for me and pulled me to him, crashing his lips onto mine. I melted at his touch. He had my body flush against him, with me standing of the very tips of my toes. I wrapped my arms around him, taking in every single thing I could about him, trying my best to preserve this moment. I broke the kiss and jumped into his arms, my head on his shoulder. I held him so tightly, I thought my arms would fall off. I loved him. I loved him with every fiber of my being. I had to protect him, I had to keep him safe from Bertolt, Zeke, Marley, everyone. I realized that I was weak for this man, and I didn't like being weak, even if I couldn't help it. So I had to eliminate the enemy, neutralize the threat to keep Reiner safe. I looked over at Bertolt. He was looking over at us, with a look I knew. He saw me looking and he smiled, trying to make it seem like he was worried for me and happy for his friend.

I wasn't falling for his bullshit anymore. I gave him a look I remember seeing him use on Reiner so many times before, aware now of what it meant. He instantly dropped his façade and gave me a look back. It was time to execute plan A. I was going to tell Bertolt that I knew, I knew everything and he was to not mention a word of it to Reiner, not before me anyways. Reiner released me and when my feet were back on the ground he took my face into his hands.

"Rayne, you're okay? You're okay?" He kept asking and I nodded over and over again.

"Yes, sweetheart. I'm fine." I placed my hand over his and gripped it tightly before bringing to my lips and kissing it. I got lost in his golden eyes, the sound of his voice, the feel of his touch. I grinned up at him, before turning away from him and throwing up in the dirt. Instead of jumping back, Reiner got closer to me, his hand on my back. Mikasa was the same, she knelt down next to me, seeming to not care about the puddle of puke right next to her. "Luckily for me, it was an easy passage this time and I didn't have to continue this disturbing show if front of everyone for long. When I stopped I straightened up and used the Commander's handkerchief to wipe my face again.

"Rayne, what's wrong?" I heard Mikasa and Reiner say in unison. I couldn't help but laugh.

"Nothing," I said, waving them off. "It's just a stomach thing, I'll be fine." I cleared my throat and noticed an air of seriousness fall over everyone. I looked up at the Commander was walking towards along with Short Stack. We all gave a salute as the commander began to tell everyone the game plan. I was so lost, mostly because I had no idea what the Hell he was talking about and also because I felt eyes on me. I couldn't exactly check to see who it was but it made me uncomfortable all the same. I had just decided to let it go and continued to listen to the Commander's plan.

/

We were already deep into Titan territory. We had stopped for a little bit to give the horses reprieve. I stood next to my horse, keeping my eyes open for Bertolt. I knew he was close by, I had seen him riding not far from me before we stopped. Not many people were around me and Reiner was on the opposite side of the current formation so this was the perfect time to talk to Bertolt. I finally saw him. He was a few yards away from me, drinking some water. I ran up to him, I wasn't surprised by the reaction on his face when he saw me. I was now standing in front of him, my arms crossed.

"Hello Bertolt." I said in the most sarcastic way. Bertolt wasn't exactly in a playing mood.

"What the fuck do you want, Lee?" He asked, his eyes bearing down on me. I smirked at moved even closer to him.

"Oh, nothing. Nothing at all, I just wanted to come over here to tell you that I remember everything, you fucking two faced son of a bitch." I had a huge grin plastered on my face. Bertolt's face, however, got dark and he began to walk toward me. I used my hardening ability to make one of my fingers as deadly as a blade and I pointed it at Bertolt's chest. "Whoa, slow down there, warrior." I said, before closing the distance between us even more, my claw snagging Bertolt's shirt. "I came to fill you in on a little piece of information. I am the Wolf Titan." I saw his expression stay the same and I scoffed as the realization dawned on me. "You already knew, didn't you?" It was his turn to grin.

"Yes. I happened to figure it out after hearing about what happened to Daz." My mean routine was failing, I let the smallest hint of emotion leak onto my face. It passed by quick but Bertolt was able to catch it. "Tell me, Wolf. How did it feel to kill one of these fucking devils?" He started to laugh, softly and evilly. His eyes became merciless, showing nothing but the hate of a warrior. I felt a growl rise up in my throat as I brought my clawed finger to his neck, close to his jugular.

"Does Reiner," He stopped laughing. "Does Reiner know?" His face fell dark again before answering.

"Reiner's not a warrior anymore. At least, not all the time." I was confused. What did that have to do with him knowing if I was the Wolf Titan or not?

"Are you going to fucking explain or what?" I asked rudely, keeping an ear out for anyone trying to approach us.

"After what happened with Marco, he snapped. He isn't a warrior anymore. He's a full soldier now." I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"So, he has no idea about the mission, about what we were sent here to do? That's not possible." Bertolt scoffed at me and hit my hand away. I had gotten distracted and it was no longer hardened. I glared at him as he took a few steps away from me.

"Come on, Rayne. You of all people know how that is totally possible." He turned back toward me and I could see that this asshole really did hate me. I could give a fuck less, I had never really liked him either. "You also would know how loyal he is, how determined he was to see this mission through to the end. Hell, with all the info I bet you have on us, you would definitely know all that. Yet, somehow he still faltered. Somehow he became distracted. All because of you. What the fuck is wrong with you?" He fully turned toward me and I could sense how angry he was at me, like the calm before the storm. "Why can't you see that we need to complete the mission?" I started shaking my head.

"Why? Are you serious right now? This mission is fucking shit, Bertolt! Why would anyone want to do this? Nothing is worse than killing innocent people!"

"Innocent?!" He was starting to yell. I swallowed nervously and looked around, making sure no one was listening in. Bertolt seemed to regain his calm face, but his voice was still angry. "These are the fucking devils, Rayne. We have to eliminate them then everyone back home will be safe! Don't you get that?" I balled my fists and took heavy steps closer to him.

"That is all a bunch of fucking bullshit! No one is safe back home! Once fucking Marley gets the Founding Titan, all the Eldians are done for! They would use everyone back home as a pawn in their fucking war! Everything they promised you is a lie!" He shook his head at me and I was starting to get so angry I almost hit him.

"You are the liar. They did something to you in that hospital, didn't they?" I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Was this guy serious right now?

"How the fuck do you come up with a fucking idea like that? Seriously, Bertolt? How? I genuinely want to know how one person can be so fucking stupid!" He took my shirt into his fist. My feet were barely touching the ground and he was giving me a look that just radiated all kinds of emotion. Mostly hate and anger, but also loyalty. Mayne Reiner wasn't the most loyal after all.

"Shut up. You just shut the fuck up, Rayne Lee or I will kill everyone you care about." His voice was low and laced with poison. "I will kill Mikasa and Armin. Then, I will kill Reiner." I narrowed my eyes at him. Was he serious? Would he really do it?

"You wouldn't." I tried to call him out, to see if he was bluffing.

"Oh, yes. You see Rayne, I am willing to sacrifice anyone to make sure I get home. I don't give a fuck about anyone or anything. All that matters is me, myself and I and I'll be damned if anyone thinks they could stand in my way. Including you. However, since I can't kill you or Eren, you are way important to our superiors,"

"Your superiors," I corrected him but he completely ignored me.

"And Eren would be just an added bonus to bring back, I can kill everyone else. Starting with your closest friends" I didn't want to believe him but I knew this bastard was serious. I had no choice but to hang my head and I sighed in defeat, completely upset over how this confrontation had turned on me. I looked up at Bertolt and wanted nothing more than to claw the fucking eyes out his skull. He was grinning back down at me and he started to walk away.

"Wait," I called out. He stopped but didn't turn. "Reiner, he's really not a warrior anymore?" Bertolt still didn't turn even as he answered.

"He switches back and forth sometimes, but the soldier side seems to be winning. I was able to tell when he was back, because he would get so defensive and he would withdraw from everyone around him. But he's starting to get more and more soldier with every passing day. There is no telling when the warrior would be back." Bertolt finally turned toward me and grinned that fucking grin. "He could be a warrior right now for all we know, thinking about how he had heard what you did to Daz and Marco, remembering how he knows who you are." He turned back again and started walking toward the rest of the Scouts. I felt sick to my stomach and tried to take in what I had just heard. My dear sweet Reiner, he was lost in the dark depths of his own mind. Just like I was lost. What had happened to cause this? I tried to think of a plan, a solution to help get me and Reiner out of this mess. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't come up with anything. Reiner was once again in danger and I didn't know how to go about protecting him. Bertolt with his fucking death threats would be always there, just waiting for a chance to kill him or Mikasa or Armin. I sighed again and felt afraid. I didn't want Reiner or anyone else to die. But I also began to think rationally and I figured that worrying about it now wasn't important. Bertolt thought he had the upper hand, but I was just going to bide my time to get Reiner to follow me toward rebellion. I had to do something, I couldn't let Bertolt think he had won. I was going to wait patiently and bite when Bertolt least expected it. But for now, the plan is to get Reiner back, I needed to convince him to take my side and fight with me. If I didn't have Reiner, I had no idea what I would do.

I started to feel scared, scared of losing everything I have ever loved. I just hope that I could convince Reiner, if I can't then I would have to fight against him as well.