#asudesiree

[marykatehood]

text 💬 rikate

Mary Kate: The sporting goods store didn't have any hiking boots in my size, and when I asked why they said to blame all the sad girls who listened to folklore and decided they wanted to go out into the woods for the first time 🙄

[kyohamada]

text 🤡 kyri

Kyo: Not sure if you knew this, but when working in pediatric care if a child comes in with a nose bleed you're supposed to ask which finger he uses to pick his nose rather than if they picked their nose. So I did and not only did I get my answer, I got a full demonstration of HOW this kid picked his nose with every single finger.

[auradonstatehq]

Effective immediately, @ririhiss will be a descendant of PRINCE JOHN. SIR HISS is now an open family !!

Effective immediately, Desiree Hiss’s last name will be NOTTINGHAM !!

Effective immediately, ​ @ririhiss‘s FC will be LULU ANTARIKSA. ZOE KRAVITZ is now open !!

Effective immediately, @ririhiss has been aged down from a 22 year old graduate to a 21 year old rising senior !!

[izzyslade]

WIS: Yourself, tobias, desiree, jane k, rachel, freddie, jojo, vitani, ariana

Me: @gastonthejr, fucking duh.

@tobiasslade: He’s so far up @hookedonharriet‘s asshole there’s no way he could make it work with anyone else. 

@ririhiss: I don’t know, it seems like fun irony or something to have her end up with a Sherwood kid. Maybe @marykatehood or @jojohood, they’re the only ones I could see being a pirate.

@janekensingtons: I don’t care what happens to that weird looking bitch. She can end up with another weird looking bitch like @aimeeblake or something.

@racheladale: Ugh, human sunshine. I can’t even deal with how energetic she is, but @casperlockex seems to be able to deal with her and he’s one of the few AKs who I don’t hate, so... have at her, buddy.

@fredcilier: The Isle’s softest bitch, just who I wanted to talk about today. Can she just lick @anthonytremaines abs for the rest of time so she’s too busy to be running her mouth in other ways?

@jojohood: Ugh, I just talked about her. Fine, fuck her sister, she definitively gets @ririhiss.

@vitani-okoro: I’ve got no fucking clue what V’s looking for, maybe some guy to be a tourney power couple with? @jaynassar or @felixstabby, Isle kids only for someone as cool as her.

@ariliki: Uh... Why do you think I pay attention to these people? Just because I’m on teams with them? I don’t fuck with them and they don’t fuck with me! @ariliki‘s about as irrelevant to me as like... @dougdeppert, so there, match made in boring irrelevant heaven. 

i need entertainment

[racheladale]

WIS: Yourself, Robbie, Mary Kate, Jojo, Marco, Cassie, Desiree, Katie, Will

Oh gosh, it’s not up to me to decide who makes other people happy and makes their heart feel fireworks! But you asked so I guess I have to try! 

@willofnottingham is married to @jungleboyblake and they’re so good together, I don’t think I need to give him any backup options!

@katie-kluck would be so cute with someone fun and nice and happy just like she is! Maybe @dizzybydesignx or @emery-gothel!

@ririhiss loves being a pirate so much that she obvi has to end up with another pirate or someone else who wants to be a pirate! So maybe @hookedonharry since he’s on the same crew as her! Or @adriane-facilier too, either one could be super duper beautiful!

@cassieadale needs someone who’s sweet and patient and good with animals like her! Maybe @icemasterbents or @sonnylemons -- fixing animals is kind of like fixing people, right?

@marcoalandale should be with a pretty musical girl! I know he talks to @fredcilier a lot but what about @eveningstardubois or @mayariverax? They’re super duper cool too!

@jojohood deserves to be with whoever she wants, but if things don’t work out with her current boo I sweaaaaaar @cashforrester is like so nice and cool and fun and awesome!

@marykatehood seems the happiest I’ve ever seen her but if things don’t work out with @n-atua I know she and @andreatriton will always have each other! Or if they don’t like each other in the sexy baseball kind of way maybe she could run away with @jaynassar instead!

@robbshood is harder to figure out but I think he could be super duper fun with someone like @maisy-macguffin or @kiarataji! Oh wait no, that last one would be bad since she’s @therubyfitz‘s best friend! Ummmmmm what about @wingedmoreno or @lyra-k? 

i need entertainment

[umadelmar]

HON the other pirates in Auradon

The Hooks are hot; Gil’s got a square head but a good heart, @ririhiss and @adriane-facilier are on my crew so I stand by them no matter what they look like; @cjhooked‘s little crew all got too much attitude to look good, and @tobiasslade is easy on the eyes, for someone on Harriet’s boat, I guess. 

i need entertainment

[hadleyforte]

WIS Ben, Chandler, Gil, Gaston Jr, Gaston the 3rd and yourself!

Oh gosh, I’m not sure why you would think that I’d be the right person to answer this, it’s not as though I sit around obsessing over my classmates’ love lives and trying to live vicariously through them!

But if I had to choose, I think the following could be really interesting couples:

@ben-desrosiers and @janetobin.

@chandler-cogsworth and @claudine--frollo.

Gil and @ririhiss!

@gastonthejr and @jojohood.

@gastonlegume3 and @aliciatriton, so brothers can date best friends!

Myself and @levlumos! Not actually, but you left him out of your mention of the castle kids and their parents’ nemeses children, so it felt right to draw your attention to your oversight! 

i need entertainment

[robbshood]

FMK Cassie, Marco, Desiree

Fuck: @ririhiss.

Marry: @marcoalandale.

Kiss: @cassieadale.

i need entertainment

[jungleboyblake]

text 💬 rike

Blake: Come on, you had to have known when I married into the family that you were never going to get any peace and quiet again!

[kiarataji]

text 💬 kiri

Kiara: Yo, I did not get a second of sleep and I'm miserable. I can't imagine ANYTHING in the world is worth a sleepless night.

[emmett-thunderstrike]

KHC Quincy, Desiree, Lyra

Uh... I don’t wanna do any of this shit with any of these girls. I’ve done it all with @quincydavis but neither one of us wants to revisit that, so nah.

i need entertainment

[marykatehood]

FMK Marco, Desiree, Cassie

Fuck: @ririhiss.

Marry: @marcoalandale.

Kiss (I’m cheating so Cassie doesn’t cry): @cassieadale.

i need entertainment

[hookedonharriet]

FMK Desiree, Adriane, Uma

I don’t fraternize with members of opposing crews in such a manner.

i need entertainment

[auradonstatehq]

*:・ﾟ✧ Is that [ MADDISON JAIZANI ]? No, it’s just [DESIREE HISS], the descendant of [ SIR HISS ]! [ SHE ] is [ 21/SENIOR ] and some say she tends to be [ A SNAKE ] but she is really [ SELF ASSURED ]. (DANY SHE/HER, 25, CST) ✧・ﾟ*:

Congratulations, Dany!! Please read over the checklist and send in your account within the next 48 hours.

[izzyslade]

NML: Jane k, desiree, jojo

No: @jojohood.

Mega No: @janekensingtons.

Littler No?: @ririhiss.

i need entertainment

[umadelmar]

NML Harry, Gil, Desiree

Night: @ririhiss.

Month: Gil.

Life: @hookedonharry.

i need entertainment