#astrid's fucking pissed

[your-local-squip-fanatic]

I need to rage a minute. Don't mind me. Feel free to skip this. I want to BITCH.

I WAS SUPPOSED TO MOVE ON THE 5TH. BUT THE STATE IS TAKING ITS SWEET ASS TIME PROCESSING ME AND MY FUTURE ROOMATE'S APPLICATIONS. I HATE BEING IN THIS DAMN GROUP HOME.

ONE PERSON IS LAZY AS FUCK AND REFUSES TO DO ANYTHING.

ANOTHER IS JUST OVER THE TOP AND ANNOYING.

ONE KEEPS RUNNING AWAY AND NEEDS ACTUAL HELP. AND NEVER GETS IT.

AND TO MAKE THINGS EVEN BETTER MY SEMESTER STARTS ON THE 17TH, MEANING MY CLASSES BEGIN WEDNESDAY THAT WEEK, AND I WAS TOLD THEY ARE 27 MILES AWAY IN A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT CITY.

I HAVE TO LEARN A BUS ROUTE BY THEN AND I JUST DO NOT HAVE THE COMPHREHENSION TO UNDERSTAND IT.

literally fml i thought it was smooth sailing now. of fucking course it's not. WHEN IN THE ABSOLUTE FUCK HAVE I EVER HAD IT EASY

CAN I CATCH A BREAK FOR ONCE?!

[ashleybenlove]

#astrid's a perfectly well-rounded character #you know what she likes what she hates #you know her personality #what makes her happy what makes her angry #how she ticks #how she thinks #who does and doesn't respect #in which she's best and where her flaws lie #really the only reason i've seen people give is because this perfectly well-rounded character happens to be the male MC's love interest (via @howtodrawyourdragon​)

Wondering if Astrid's character is actually bad. Or if people see her, the female love interest, in a relationship with the main male character, see her girly and emotional side on top of the badass warrior side, see her get in trouble and be saved by her main male character boyfriend (completely disregard that he needs just as much saving and that she does a lot of that saving) and then call her character bad.

[weaponizedducks]

rewatching httyd and like. Astrid was right to be pissed abt hiccup suddenly becoming competent. imagine you've been training ur whole life and ur so fucking kickass and then this weird little nepo baby emo kid shows up and beats you at everything and steals all your friends. ngl I would be experiencing a breakdown. I'd be having a midlife crisis. yknow actually I think she underreacted

[orcelito]

Accidentally watched, um. A lot more of the episode. I now have 3 hours left. I just couldn't stop during the battle!!!! And then there was all the stuff afterwards and then suddenly it was my definite bedtime when I MEANT to go to bed like 3 hours ago. Whoops

[discodyke-dogthing]

HELLO OKAY I WANT THIS TOO BY THE WAY

Everyone point and laugh at the dumb little slut, the filthy fucking whore 🤭🤭🤭 shes so stupid its funny, and so eager to pls she’ll agree to practically anything isnt that right whore?

Want to lick my boots clean every inch?

You would even thank me if I pissed on you wouldn’t you whore?

Posting this shows you agree and would love all this and more!

[jadeylovesmarvelxo]

18+ mdni. Smut and jealous reader deciding to cause a little chaos.

Popular bitchy reader grows annoyed over Eddie's attention being directed at the new girl in Hellfire.

🎀✨

You were used to Eddie's attention being only on you, the both of you driving each other crazy and continuously trading barbs and witty banter.

Robin was deadly serious when she told Steve the latest gossip about you two, that she was sure that your arguing was some weird form of foreplay. Both of you for sure got off on it.

Now though? now you were bored, upset and very pouty. The latter which Eddie secretly loved and it was all because of her, the new girl at Hellfire.

Her name was Kimberly and she was your mortal enemy, or as mortal enemy as one could get in senior year at High School.

At least for this week.

Eddie had of course noticed how pissed you were at him hanging and paying attention to someone other than you. He knew you were jealous and he was waiting for you to admit it.

Meanwhile if you heard Eddie laugh at Kimberly's joke one more time you were going to lose it.

So instead of whining and crying about Eddie being so focused on someone else you decided to distract yourself.

Distraction came in the form of Jason, much to Eddie's fury which made your flirting with Eddie's enemy all the more sweeter. Eddie's rants against the dark side escalated by the day and he takes particular care in calling out Jason, and the "balls he throws into laundry baskets being bigger than Jason's own balls"

It's thrilling watching him be so jealous, serves him right for trying to make you pissed and envious over whatshername.

Eddie finally cracks on Friday and walks over to you all dark eyes and clenched jaw, tense and seething.

"What the fuck are you doing with Carver?" He demands and you take your time answering him.

"Oh, I think it's called flirting" you reply and if it's possible his eyes narrow even more, you peer up at him and act confused.

"Why do you care so much, when you have Katie at your beck and call" the anger leaves his features and he smirks.

Shit you gave away too much. "It's Kimberly, she's new to Hellfire sweetheart. I was just showing her the ropes. Not my fault you're a jealous brat"

You glare at him, gather the things from your locker, take time to apply some lipgloss and watch Eddie grow irritated once again.

"Jason's so much nicer to me than you, I don't know why I even like you so much Edward" you reply to him and he huffs in frustration.

"Are you happy now my attention is back on you princess?, incase you haven't noticed, you're all I think about" He seethes, furious he's confessed his real feelings for you.

Elated you grab your bag and his gaze follows you as you walk out of the school and make your way towards his van, for some privacy.

"Oh I've been so awful Eddie, maybe you'll need to teach me a lesson?" you add in a pout for maximum effect and his control snaps, and he pulls you too him, kisses you until the both of you break away panting from the intensity.

"You are the only person I want. Is that what you want to hear?" Eddie demands but his gaze is a tiny bit softer. Thrilled you kiss him again and tug him inside the van.

...

You're so lost in finally being with Eddie, both of you fucking each other until you're both babbling, incoherent messes, that you don't here the knock on Eddie's window.

His van door opens, there's a shriek and you peer up, Kimberly blushes as she takes in the image of you sitting astride Eddie, tits bouncing up and down, both you and Eddie's faces full of bliss.

"Oh my god, I'm sorry, I didn't..." she trails off mortified. You roll your eyes at her babbles and squeeze around Eddie tightly, causing him to moan.

"Eddie's a little busy right now, in fact he's going to be busy with me a lot from now on, so cut the cutesy uwu girl act and back off, kay?" You add sweetly and Kimberly nods rapidly and rushes off.

Eddie is gazing at you torn between amusement and exasperation. "Princess" he chides and you shrug and begin to rock your hips in a way that makes Eddie's eyes glaze over and soft swears leave his mouth.

"Now, where were we?"

[vixnarts]

Sorry that I haven’t been posting on Tumblr. I’m not active on here because the platform isn’t my favorite. But since I’m hated by the dragon artist community in the HTTYD fandom on Instagram. I’m going to post my drawing here. I’ll come back to posting more of the creepypasta proxy x supernatural AU soon. Now without further ado, let’s start off with my opinions on both Httyd movies.

HEADS UP: if you do not like these opinions about the third movie, please do not attack me or anyone else that agrees. I will block (depending on the comment) or delete the negative comments.

Toothless (THW): There were so many things with this movie that pissed me off, starting off with Toothless himself. He stood out like a sore thumb. His design is atrocious with the squished eyes and the eyebrows. The few things that were good were the Deathgrippers and when Toothless was angry. That’s it. Also the light fury was shit and she looked like a condom. Anyways, Toothless was butchered so bad in this movie. He was a slobbery horny fuck and made out with his own shadow. He was disgusting to the Light fury (Thanks for smacking him in that scene when Toothless was being a creep doing those tropical bird dances). Now with his markings, they’re vaguely there. When he’s flying you can kinda see em but not really. Aside from the deathgrippers and Toothless’s angered expressions, the entire movie was shit. And DO NOT get me started with the light fury and those ugly ass looking night light things. I preferred the old storyboard where Toothless was reunited with a pack of night furies and Drago returned. Don’t believe me? Look it up. Side note: I also liked the soundtrack of this movie. With this atrocious movie, it’s like DreamWorks took away all Toothless mysterious aspects and made him act like a rubbery mutt (no offense to dogs, dogs are way smarter than what DreamWorks did to Toothless)

HTTYD (2010): Oh boy, I loved this movie since childhood. The animation, the dragons actually looked intimidating, and my favorite of all Toothless. I loved him, his design especially. He actually scared me as a kid while watching this on DVD. Toothless in the first film was by far the best (as well as HTTYD2 Toothless, tho I like the first movie better) he was sassy, protective of hiccup even when Astrid was gonna attack. What I loved about Toothless’s design was his tiger shark leopard print markings and that he acted like a cat. I loved the way he moved in flight and walking. Another thing on what I loved about Toothless was that he was actually mysterious and unknown. No one never knew about his species it was all unknown. It would’ve been cool if DreamWorks added the concept light furies in the movie. That would be dope.

[rtfics]

That glare & Beej showing his love for Lydia.

In the counseling office Lydia says Beej's name once, so he screeches ( a' la the original movie) and binds her mouth. Her expression isn't one of fear or terror -- unlike Rory -- but of "Oh god, seriously, you're pulling this on me again, I could slap you, you jerk" that you have with someone you know well and who can irritate the fuck out of you, but you still want him around.

unmute

Later, Lydia rips off the stitches, proving that her lips weren't actually sewn shut, but the stitches were more like duct tape. Beej didn't do anything that would really cause her pain. And, more importantly, she has the power to defeat his power.

Beetlejuice grants Lydia autonomy over his admittedly massive powers. She apparently doesn't realize this yet -- she's pissed at him for the moment.

But, if this storyline follows logically, Lydia should eventually see Beetlejuice could pretty much force her to do anything, if he wanted. She should, I hope, notice that, as obnoxious and arrogant as he is, he gives her the choice in so many things.

In the counseling session he shuts up her just long enough to show what a coward Rory is -- he knows she'd interrupt. He shows how Rory refused to listen to what Lydia said about not saying Beej's name in order to force her to face her supposed delusion. If Lydia were paying attention she'd see Rory treats her as an inferior, that he thinks he knows what's best for her, that she isn't mature or clear-headed and therefore he needs to control her. Beetlejuice shows Lydia, not tells, that she can handle the strange and unusual and gross, but Rory has no stomach, or spine, for it. When Beej says "C'mere" to Lydia and draws her to him, he doesn't stop her from snapping "Home home home!" and leaving, which we can be pretty sure he could do.

He shows, not tells, Lydia what a lying, conning bastard Rory has been all along, and merely asks -- doesn't tell -- if she'd like to do something about it, and provides her with an aid -- the boxing glove -- to express her feelings.

My personal theory is Beetlejuice needs Lydia to decide for herself whether she warms to him or not. Twice he's made a deal with her and held up his end. Twice Lydia has broken her side of the bargain. But in neither case has he used his power to punish her for it. He stepped aside and helped her reconnect with her dead husband by going to "th' lil' Boys Room." He saved Astrid, not only from the Netherworld but from Jeremy. He saved Lydia from a bad marriage to a user who didn't love her. And, peripherally, he saved her from a life lost in a pill-popping fog, a life Rory kept her in as "an enabler" -- which Beej pointed out in the counseling session.

Sooner or later, Lydia should realize all this. Beetlejuice not shoving it in her face -- "HEY! I saver yer life an' yer daughter's life an' this is the thanks I get?!" -- shows he wants Lydia to come to this on her own, in her own time.

I mean, shit, what potential lover/boyfriend/husband does this?

Once her anger at her life suddenly being up-ended fades, Lydia, being an intelligent woman now free of mind-numbing drugs, should awaken to the strange fact that Beetlejuice has actually been doing things in her interest more than in his.

[your-local-squip-fanatic]

Guess who has to cancel their college plans for now because they were told way too late that their classes are nearly 30 miles away and found out there is no reasonable transportation there and has to instead find a job in order to move to the new apartment??? RIGHT AFTER FINDING OUT HOW MUCH THEIR TUITION IS, TOO??

Current Mood:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

[whitegoldtower]

My masterlist of Skyrim takes:

Both the Imperials and Stormcloaks can eat my ass.

Isran is a piece of shit

I don’t like Brynjolf.

Ancano, Vingalmo, Ondolemar, Garan Marethi, Teldryn Sero and Arch-Curate Vyrthur are the hottest male NPCs.

The companions are a flop.

Ysgramor and Wuuthrad suck.

Muiri’s unsolicited affections gave me the ick

Morthal is my favourite area.

The Ravencrone and Blackbriar women could get it any day.

I’d fuck a hagraven out of curiosity.

Frostbite spiders are adorable

I love Cicero’s voice.

Nazeem is just funny. So are the girls at Radiant Raiment. They all served cunt.

The Reach is for the Forsworn.

In every playthrough I make sure to beat the shit out of Rolff Stone-Fist and scare the fuck out of Mikael.

Mage and double dagger runs are the best.

Destruction and Conjuration are lazy.

My favourite discreet way to assassinate annoying NPCs is to reverse pickpocket poisons and poisoned apples into their inventories, sit back and watch. Alternatively, I like casting frenzy / reverse pickpocketing frenzy potions into their inventories and watching chaos unfold.

I have to purposely paralyse myself at least once in every playthrough, whether through licking Netch Jelly or chewing Corkbulb Root.

Idgrod Ravencrone is the best jarl.

Erikur deserves a slow death.

Delphine’s also a piece of shit.

Astrid instantly pissed me off.

I love just collecting and reading all the books.

The carriage driver Bjorlam (Whiterun) is SO HOT and for absolutely no reason whatsoever. Who made him so fine and why??

Ondolemar is a sweet baby. Even if you refuse to get the amulet for him, he doesn’t get pissy with you (unlike a certain touchy redheaded thief in Riften).

Some people get annoyed with Faendal showing up if you marry Camilla Valerius. I say two for the price of one, in this household we share. How can you be mad at getting a free bosmer femboy? A boyfriend of my wife’s is a boyfriend of mine.

(Will add more soon. If you want me to elaborate on any of these points, just drop an ask.)

[cobaltperun]

Darkest Part (3) - Remedy

Astrid Deetz x female Reader

Summary: You will never, in life or afterlife, if such a thing exists, meet anyone as infuriating, rage inducing, entitled, or frankly awful, as Astrid fucking Deetz. There isn’t a single thing you’d like more than to never be around her, but as your luck would have it, you just can’t stay away from her.

Masterlist / First part / Previous Part

Word count: 5.2k

-Dance with the enemy-

He was dead. Her grandfather, the only person that was even a slightly bit normal in her entire family, was gone, yet she showed almost no emotions other than something that could be described as ‘bummer’. Sure, she felt sorrow and pain, it would be disturbing if she didn’t, but it was all beneath the rage, beneath the lack of understanding and support. And all of that was beneath the feeling of betrayal she felt whenever she was reminded of her mother's ridiculous bullshit powers.

Once upon a time you called her a typical teen angry at the world, you ended it at that, but Astrid knew you left out a big part. A spoiled brat given everything on a silver platter, that's what she got from your words, that's how she interpreted them, and it pissed her off. You had the guts to act like you knew anything about her.

That wasn't who she was.

If she could say so herself, she wasn't spoiled, and she was well aware off all the luxuries and privileges she had. There was just so much anger within her, so much anger at the family that didn't understand her that didn't try to connect with her. The same family that refused to believe that no matter how she was raised, no matter how much money she had, no matter how easy her life was or how difficult it could have been, that she would have turned out the same way she was now. That she would have the love for nature, and the desire to protect the planet. That she would see beyond just herself and her generation. That everything her father taught and passed down to her was the core of who she was. That those ideals would drive her no matter how she grew up and the only person that understood that about her was long gone and the mother that apparently could see and talk to ghosts could not see him.

So, yes, Astrid really was angry, but not at the world as you said it. Just at her family.

Deep down perhaps once or twice she may have thought that she appeared to be too cold and distant on the outside. The divorce of her parents followed by the loss of her father, and the distance between her and her mother and all the therapy she was forced to go to made her closed off and defensive, and she simply couldn’t deny it. Why should she show what she felt when there was no one trying to understand her? What was the point of showing weakness when it could easily be exploited, like what happened with her mother when Rory met her. “Let's just get this over with,” she said, annoyed and angry that her mother manipulated the principle into making her leave the school when there was something important to her going on.

“Astrid!” her mother called after her she was already on her way to the car.

She could see Rory and someone else in the car; and while that annoyed her because she didn’t want to spend the time with her mother’s boyfriend, she guessed there were worse things that could happen to her. For example, being in the car with you. That would make this day even worse. “Save your breath,” she didn't have the patience to listen to her mother right now, instead she just opened the doors to get in the back seat with Delia and there you were.

Her absolute worst nightmare just turned into reality.

Someone kill her.

She should have just turned around right then and there. She should have said to hell with going to the funeral or she should have found another way to get there. Maybe by an airplane, or by bus, or anything really, as long as she didn't have to spend hours upon hours with you right next to her because of course Delia wasn't going to sit between you.

“Why is this pinnacle of human ignorance here?!” Astrid demanded angrily, looking both at her mother and grandmother with unmatched fury. How could they do this to her? They both knew how much she hated you!

“Good to see you too, Chihuahua,” and there it was, your infuriating voice addressing her with that ridiculous nickname that had no basis in reality that you refused to replace or put any effort in. You were so unimaginative you just picked the first dog that came to mind and decided she was just like that dog. And no, the irony that it was an angry tiny dog that she herself considered to be made up purely out of spite was not lost on her.

“Fucking Barnacle,” Astrid spat as her mother just shrugged and pointed at Delia. At least her mother looked like she felt a miniscule amount of guilt over this.

“You do know I need my assistant, don't you? Doing all of this without Charles is already a nightmare, I can't do it without my assistant as well! Oh, Charles why did you have to leave me?! Charles! Oh, Charles!” Delia was screaming once again, calling out her grandfather's name at the top of her lungs and for once Astrid figured even you were better than being even more embarrassed by her family, so, she got in the car, just to escape the judging and mocking looks of the other students.

From the corner of her eye she could see you opened your mouth before her mother and Delia could get back into the car. ‘Oh, no, what now?’ Astrid could tell you were trying to tell her something and worst of all she could see that you were struggling to get it out of your mouth. Considering that, chances were it wasn't an insult hurling her way because you definitely didn't have issues saying those to her. Luckily, from the looks of it, you've changed your mind and chose to remain silent.

Rory turned around with that infuriating grin on his face. “Astrid, it's so good to see you again!” Rory exclaimed with that fake smile of his trying to get her to accept him or whatever. He’s been trying to make her believe he was actually in love with her mother and not just using her some time, but she was she wasn't about to fall for those tricks. Instead, Astrid just glared at him, finding a bit of satisfaction in the way he just turned back around.

~X~

You really thought spending an entire drive from Astrid’s school to Winter River was the worst thing that could ever happen to you. You were wrong.

You were a hundred percent absolutely wrong.

Risking your life was a lot worse.

This was going to be the end of you, there was no way around it. Delia was going to be responsible for your untimely demise. Why? Because it was up to you to put the shroud over the house because why the fuck not?!

You stared at the large house at the top of the hill overlooking the entire Winter River. And you had to get on the roof of it. Great.

Just great.

You turned to Delia, sending her a pleading look and hoping against hope that she would see reason. “Are you sure there is no one else who can do this?” your fear of heights aside, this was ridiculously reckless. You had no experience climbing houses, walking on roofs or placing these shrouds, it would be nothing short of a miracle if you didn't fall to your death

“Can't believe I'm saying this, but for once I agree with her,” who could have guessed Astrid Deetz actually agreed with you. She probably just didn't want to see another human die. “I mean if she falls it will be really difficult to cover up.”

You should have known that was her reasoning, you really should have known Astrid’s worry had nothing to do with you but the inconveniences that would put them in. “Geez, thanks a lot Chihuahua,” you said mockingly and turned to Lydia, you were still naively hoping at least she would see reason in this, but the woman had just lost her father and was not exactly thinking of how reckless of an employer her step mother was.

“Oh, Y/N will be fine! She's my assistant she can handle it, just have Rory hold the ladder,” most of the other time you would be beaming from the praise, but today things were different. Delia just brushed your concerns off, and you were just becoming aware of how little care the family had collectively. Well, if it really was true that Lydia could see ghosts and talk to them maybe she just got desensitized to the entire life and death situation and Delia being who she was just took it easy. In her head she could solve it all. She knew the people, she had the money, the entire building the family had gifted the school Astrid was enrolled in was enough of proof of that.

“Great, off I go now. Hopefully not to die,” you sighed and picked up as much shroud as you believed you could reasonably carry to the roof and resigned yourself to whatever was going to happen. “I am not being paid enough for this bullshit,” no money was worth this, but here you were, unable to back out.

“Well, she does have a point,” Lydia finally spoke up and it wasn't regarding your life but your pay. Were you suddenly feeling really bitter? No, no, you could never. When the one most concerned for you was Astrid you really had to question the life choices that led you to this situation.

You glanced back at Delia, who was now in deep thought. “Yes, I suppose she can get all raise considering all the extra work she’s doing.”

Well at least he would be paid more for risking your fucking life!

“I can't watch this I'm going inside,” you did not care one bit that Astrid couldn't watch you doing this. You still figured that was for the best. You didn't want to give to her satisfaction of seeing you fall from however tall the roof was.

“If I die I'm haunting this entire family,” you promised under your breath and looked at the Rory who was holding the ladder for you. “I'd like to come back down just so you know, and in one piece,” why did you need to clarify that? Well, you were talking to Rory, so it didn’t hurt to be more specific.

“Trust me I don't want any part in this either, but it's for Charles, we must do it!” of course he would say that. It wasn't him risking his neck because, apparently, he was the only one strong enough to hold the ladder in place so he couldn't go up the ladder. It just had to be you. Granted, if you really had to choose, you would rather avoid holding the ladder up while someone else was climbing it.

‘I really should have gotten that life insurance,’ you thought bitterly as you began climbing the ladder.

~X~

Social media was, in fact, not enough of a distraction for Astrid at the moment. Not even texting other students about the conference was helping her keep her mind off what was happening outside. Especially when a shroud dropped from the roof near the window of the room she was in and she had to move to another room.

No. She wasn’t worried.

She was just curious about what was going on outside. It was too silent, and no one was screaming so nothing happened, she was sure of that. Absolutely nothing happened.

Astrid finally, after an hour of being glued to her phone, looked through the window and saw a black shroud covering it on the outside. She looked at it, wondering if you were done. No matter how much she hated you this was still Delia being reckless as fuck. There was no other way to put it. Why couldn't they just hire a company that worked on doing these kinds of things? Just because you were her assistant didn't mean you had to fall from the roof.

Not that Astrid would ever admit she was worried about you. She wasn't. Really. She just couldn't watch, so she went inside to wait it out. How was Delia even going to explain to your family if something happened to you? Like: ‘I'm sorry. I didn't hire the professionals, so I sent your daughter to the roof and now, well… Accept my condolences?’  

Astrid bit her lip, doing her best not to be conscious of how worried she really was. She should have stopped you, said to hell with this hatred between you and acted like proper human being.

And then there was a scream. A bone chilling, loud, echoing scream and Astrid ran out not really sure what she was going to see once she was outside. “What happened?!” she demanded as she rushed outside and looked at her mother expecting an explanation. Her heart sank as she saw Delia crying and you weren't there. “What? No, don’t-“ her legs felt like they would crumble under her weight. This wasn’t happening. She didn't hear any anything, she didn't hear a loud noise, she didn't hear a thud, but there was a chance it still happened and she just didn't hear it. “She- she didn’t-“ she was at the loss of her words, speechless and affected a lot more than she thought she would be.

“She didn’t what, Chihuahua?” her eyes widened when she heard that nickname, and that stupid voice.

Astrid spun around, anger coursing through her veins as she glared at you. “Nothing!” she yelled and rushed back inside completely aware of the extremely puzzled look on your face.

“I'm not that easy to get rid of! I am a Barnacle!” you yelled after her once you realized that you were the ‘she’ she was asking about.

You looked perfectly fine.

You really were a Barnacle.

How dare you make her worry?

Stupid.

Asshole.

“Fuck you,” she cursed under her breath.

~X~

The funeral went about as on brand as it could for the Deetz family. A choir singing, a fin shaped tombstone, an imaginative text engraved upon it and plenty of colorful personalities, most of them dressed in black attending the funeral. Whenever you had the chance to closely look at the family you always had the feeling of absurdity surrounding you, they never truly conformed to the general norms but nothing showed that as much as this funeral.

You stood by the side observing, just taking the scene in as people began mingling around talking to one another. You didn’t know these people and they didn’t know you, neither of you felt the need to strike up a conversation in circumstances such as these. As the priest approached Delia and Rory the feeling of grief was mixed in with something else, something you couldn't quite tap into. You couldn't quite call it absurd or nonchalant but there was something about the way everyone acted that gave you this strange feeling. The last time you went to the funeral people cried, but the Deetz family took the loss proudly, not shedding a tear and leaving that for a more private moment. As for the others, well, you understood why most of the people here didn't cry. These people knew Charles but weren't quite close to him.

You glanced to the side where Astrid was sitting alone, somber-looking, serious, almost engulfed by that large coat she was wearing as if shielding herself from everything she was feeling. For a moment you could see that mask she used to wear cracking, just a hint of pain etching itself upon her face before she, as if she could feel your eyes on her, put the mask back on. You chose not to intrude, instead mixing into the crowd not quite intending to strike up a conversation but also not intending to avoid it.

The only thing you actually wanted to do was just to give Astrid some space. You knew deep down that even if she did look a bit worried when she thought you fell off the roof and met your untimely demise that the hatred between the two of you was still that strong. And that meant that you were not the person she would ever open up to or be vulnerable in front of.

And that suited you perfectly well because you did not need another Deetz woman driving you insane right now and that doubled for Astrid because damn was she still annoying. Damn Chihuahua.

The sound of someone approaching you from behind made you turn around just as Delia was coming up to you. She opened her purse and began looking for something. “I just forgot, we have to pack everything. Y/N, can you be a dear and go buy some boxes?” she handed you 100 bucks before you could even answer, but you figured anything was better than staying here surrounded by people you didn't know and not really knowing what to do with yourself.

“Of course, I'll come back as soon as possible,” you told her, taking the money and resisting the urge to run to the city.

~X~

You weren't lying to yourself, or overthinking things. You really didn't belong here, you didn't know anyone, no one from your family came from here, you just happened to work for Delia and thus were obligated to come and help her with the funeral. Still, you couldn't deny the place had a certain charm to it, there was something peaceful and calm about it something you couldn't quite explain with words alone.

It felt like Winter River was somewhat stuck in the past, like it wasn't keeping up with the rest of the world while still being welcoming to strangers. The man at the shop was welcoming, kind and helpful as you explained what you needed the boxes for and directed you toward the part of the store where you would find everything you need. From that point you could handle everything yourself.

It was kind of funny how used you were to this particular part of helping Delia. You have gotten quite an experience with packing things between working for Delia and your work at the library, packing wasn't something you were unfamiliar with. You came back to the house coming from the back and doing your best to avoid the crowds that gather in front of it because for whatever unexplainable reason you simply didn't do well with the crowds. Especially if you had to just walk through them and you figured it wasn't the best look to just walk through them with bags of tapes and other supplies as well as a bunch of boxes neatly packed underneath your arm. What you definitely didn't expect was to see Astrid storming off from the front of the building, getting on a bicycle and furiously riding off.

“Chihuahua!” you called out to her, not because you were worried or you cared to know where she was going, but because she didn't look like she should be driving off by herself. In fact, you swore you could see a single tear falling from her eye which was probably a mistake because Astrid did not cry. Yeah, it was definitely just you seeing things. You've been seeing things you couldn't quite explain lately, so maybe this was one of them too.

She didn’t turn back, or even slow down, she just left without even reacting. Not even yelling at you, and that was unsettling.

You put the boxes at the side of the house and placed the bag on top of them, and then went to search for Delia only to turn the corner and see a… celebration? “What the hell just happened here?” you muttered to yourself. Why were people suddenly celebrating like someone just got engaged or announced they were pregnant or something as ridiculously out of touch with reality and current situation as that. This was supposed to be a funeral and now it didn’t feel one bit like one.

You approach Delia and you were sure she could see you were puzzled. How couldn't you be? When you left graveyard things were somber, people talked but it was quiet and reserved, you could feel the grief in the air and now it was like you stepped into a parallel dimension where everyone wore black to celebration. It was like you were suddenly in the Addams family universe, well, Astrid did kinda give off the Wednesday vibe.

That was a strange thought.

“Did I miss something?” you asked almost fearful of the answer because if you didn't step into a parallel universe then you could probably guess that this was Rory’s doing. Somehow. How he would manage to do that was beyond you but if anyone could do it, then it was him.

“Turns out we'll be organizing a wedding in two days,” wait, what? “Lydia just accepted Rory’s proposal,” Delia explained as if she couldn't believe it herself and your jaw dropped prompting her to just nod and shrug.

What the fuck? Lydia was… She was burying her own father!

You turned to look at Lydia still puzzled by her decision. Rory you could understand he was an inconsiderate asshole of a man that manipulated everyone and everything in his favor just so he could gain something, prone to exploiting vulnerable people- oh, that's what happens. “And let me guess, Chihuahua was here right when it happened,” maybe you weren't seeing things, maybe she really was crying.

Delia pointed toward the porch as subtly as she could. “Right there,” yeah, that explained everything.

For once you felt sorry for the girl.

You probably should just go back home because this was not a healthy realization to have. You actually felt sorry for Astrid, you must be going crazy. “I'll, uh, started packing things, you know just the small stuff that whoever wants to buy the house won’t notice or care about,” anything really, just so you didn’t have to come to terms with feeling empathy for Astrid Deetz.

“Thanks, I'll be meeting you later to take some photos so get the equipment ready, please,” Delia said ‘please’ the world really was ending, or she really was that affected by Lydia’s decision.

~X~

A few hours later, when all the crowd was gone, you finished setting up the equipment for taking photos for Delia. You one again caught yourself thinking you were in the most absurd situation you could possibly be in as Delia began explaining to you exactly what she wanted you to do.

“So, what I want is that primal scream filled with grief! The scream of pain captured at the exact moment where it reaches the pinnacle, I want it to be guttural, to be raw emotion, the pure anguish and uncontrollable. To create the image of a deep wound inflicted upon the very heart of the one screaming and the one observing the work of art. I want to capture that visceral feeling of remorse, to show it as beautiful and ugly at the same time!” she explained passionately and you could feel your heart racing.

How were you supposed to be behind the camera, responsible for capturing that? You would be lying if you said you didn't understand the thoughts behind the idea or that it didn't sound inspiring, but how were you supposed to capture that? You just got into this business as Delia's assistant months ago and now this was thrown upon you? This responsibility? Capturing something so specific?

At this point you actually would have taken climbing on the roof again instead of doing this because it just felt so daunting and above your skill level.

“Sure, I'll help you with that,” and instead of saying how you felt went and agreed like a dumbass.

Well Alex did have a habit of saying you were a hell of a people pleaser, as long as those people weren't Astrid that is.

“Great, let's start!” Delia was surprisingly excited about doing this, but you supposed the artist within her overpowered the grieving widow. She sat down in front of the camera and give you a moment to get into position. You stood behind the camera, checked the lighting once more, did the test photo to make sure everything was fine and it was because you learned how to do it damn well.

“OK. I'm ready whenever you are,” you gave her a thumbs up and she took several deep breaths, getting in touch with several feelings within her, letting that gried come out and show itself and she screamed. She screamed so loud and with so much pain and though you struggled, you captured the moment. Deep down you probably just realized that this was her way of releasing the grief that was consuming her. So, you pushed away all the doubts in your skills and all the other ways you were reconsidering your position as her assistant and just silently took part in the process of Delia handling her grief and emotions that came along with it.

That is until the rest of the Deetz family and Rory, well you guessed he now was a part of the family as well, came running due to hearing Delia screaming. You choose to keep busy by going through the photos and picking out those that looked the most like what Delia described to you earlier and let Delia explain the situation to her family. that is until Astrid Charles to address you.

“I thought Barnacle finally snapped and tried to murder someone,” she commented and you saw the smirk appearing on her face when you took the bait like the fool you were.

“Don’t worry, if I start murdering people, I’m starting with you, Deetz,” you grumbled, not in any way serious, but you were fairly annoyed by that comment.

“There are three of us here, you might want to be more specific?” Lydia asked completely out of blue and you resisted the urge to look at her and raise and eyebrow at the clear failed attempt to play ignorant of the way things were between you and Astrid.

“The chihuahua,” you still clarified.

“That fits two of them,” Delia did not just challenge you there.

Fine, you could play this game. “The pain in my ass,” you added, surely that would do it.

“Two again, try harder,” Lydia knew well enough Delia meant ‘chihuahua’ fit her as well as Astrid, so she was just getting back at Delia. And stating that Delia was, indeed, also a pain in your ass.

That was on you for not noticing your mistake. “The one who thinks Rory is annoying,”

“Still at two,” Lydia once more countered and you were running out of things that described Astrid.

“Mommy issues?” you tried, now getting a bit desperate as you watched the amusement on Delia and Lydia’s faces and the pure look of annoyance on Astrid’s. At least that was a good thing. Any day you made Astrid annoyed was a win in your book.

Delia glanced at Lydia and Astrid and nodded. “Hmm, definitely two.”

“The one that hates me,” you would do everything in your power to never say Astrid’s name.

“Hm, for your sake I’ll say that’s at one,” Delia took pity on you.

Wait a second… “What’s that supposed to mean?!” you demanded, certain that only Astrid hated you. Did Lydia hate you? Or Delia? But you worked for Delia and you barely talked with Lydia. Well, you did hate her daughter so… That made sense?

“Nothing!” Astrid screamed so loudly you nearly jumped out of your skin.

“Fucking Chihuahua,” you cursed under your breath and went to pack things from any other room, as long as Astrid wasn’t there. Or Rory, you really didn’t want to be in the same room as him either.

~X~

If there was one thing that kind of made Lydia nervous it was the realization that her daughter had grown up and that she should probably be getting ready for the inevitable moment where Astrid comes out to her. And not preparing in the: ‘What do I do?! My child is gay!’ way but rather in the: ‘What do I do?! My child is now an adult and is falling in love and getting into a relationship and she is going to start dating and might get her heart broken and might find the right person right away or might never find the right person!’ way. And that’s not even considering all the other things that could go right or wrong and she was already panicking and overthinking it and she really needed something to calm her down.

If Rory just didn’t throw her pills away.

“Something needs to happen to just to end this charade those two have going on,” and Delia was not helping with her comments because even as few times as Lydia saw you and Astrid interacting she could tell it wasn't really that black and white between you two and Astrid's reaction to you being in danger, which was still reckless on Delia's part, only strengthened that belief. What was she going to do?! You were a good kid; she couldn't deny that. You were hardworking, you weren't spoiled and from what she heard from Delia you actually shared some of Astrid’s core beliefs, but she was still a mother, and she was still worried about her precious daughter getting her heart broken.

“They are too stubborn at this point,” at least she could take some solace in that. It would probably happen at some point and you and Astrid would probably settle your differences and start seeing each other for what you really were and not just the initial impression you made it one another. But from the looks of it, it was still somewhat far off and so Lydia hoped she had at least some time to prepare. More than anything, she hoped that you would first be friends instead of jumping right into a relationship after apparently hating one another. She sighed and went to pick up a box Rory brought along. There was still so much to do, especially with the wedding coming and all the cleaning and packing would help her get her mind off of her daughter's love life.

Delia actually laughed. “You're right, unless something life threatening happens to either of them I don't think they are going to make any real progress anytime soon,” she was joking of course but just the idea of something like that happening to Astrid really didn't sit well with Lydia.

“Please don't joke like that,” Lydia pleaded, sighing again and looked up the stairs her daughter went. “I should probably go and check up on Astrid,” she decided, especially knowing what was in the attic and especially since she was seeing him again.

Taglist: @alexkolax @osnapitzmel1 @bee-keeping @nebthetautora @lololauser

@nwestra @rroyale-109 @gemz5 @social-pomegranate @mirage018

@the-thing-withfeathers @hello-mtf @leafanonsforest @jaxon-nathaniel-drake

Masterlist / First part / Previous Part

[xoxoskai]

NIKOBRAN HEADCANNONS

to keep you going this last week before God of Fury drops<3

Between all his sons-in-law, Brandon is Kyle's favorite.

Levi's is Mia (cousin-fuckers who stole his son and daughter he'll always beef with)

Brandon and Niko are the type of relatives to wear matching clothes on Christmas because Niko would take up any chance to wear matching anything with Brandon.

If and when Brandon bakes, no one gets a chance to even taste what he made before Niko devours it all.

The only place Niko can fall asleep in at record speed is Brandon's arms.

The only reason Niko teaches Brandon how to drive a bike is so he can put his arms around his boyfriend's slutty waist boyfriend.

Remi is terrified on Brandon's behalf.

"Bran, yes, he's hot but mate, look at that guy! He has some skin on those tattoos!"

Astrid shares Remi's concerns but soon comes to find out that Niko is the biggest goofball of sunshine and almost adopts him.

Surprisingly, the one who takes the longest to accept Brandon is Rai. Because it's not her first time meeting the Kings (hello, she's a far relative) and she's worried that her oldest who is actually tender hearted and plagued by demons of his past, might be crushed beyond repair if Brandon hurt him.

Brandon and Landon think they can get away with tricking their in-laws by dressing as each other but they underestimate the Sokolov-Hunters who told them apart the moment they walked in.

Brandon tried it on Niko once when he first divulged about how Maya and Mia used to do it, but Niko could tell Brandon apart from his "psycho" brother in a heartbeat.

"It's your eyes" He had murmured. "Yours sparkle"

Glyndon is weary of Niko but as long as Brandon's happy, she's happy.

Landon is supremely unhappy.

When Landon first opposes their relationship by threatening Niko, Niko flings back "Remember who you're dating and what I mean to them" back at him.

Niko and Landon almost kill each other multiple times.

If there's someone even more unhappy than Landon, it's Crieghton.

Creighton: "Does this mean I can't fight him anymore?" Elsa: "Why were you fighting him before this?!" Creighton: "Is anyone else hearing this buzzing? I should go check."

Niko goes feral whenever he sees Brandon shirtless and vice-versa but

Niko is always shirtless, so Brandon is always suffering.

Unlike Niko, Brandon doesn't carry him into a dark corner to immediately fuck.

If there's no scene of Brandon asking Niko "Who's fucking you?" Rina, you'll hear from my therapist. And if there's not a single, evil, unhinged Brandon moment where Niko is flabbergasted at the change and is accusing him of being two-faced at which Brandon will laugh, lean in and ask tauntingly "What are you going to do? Tell on me?" I will sue.

Brandon's muse is Niko. (Bitch, I said what I said)

Unlike Landon, Brandon doesn't divulge this piece of information to his boyfriend because he does not want to give Niko even more reasons to walk around with lesser clothes.

Brandon gets a tattoo for Niko on his ribs. (cue feral Nikolai)

After which Niko tries to get Brandon's name tattooed on his favorite organ, but Jeremy literally deadlocks the door to his room to keep him inside after Niko asked for opinions in their group chat about his decision.

Niko: You don't think it's romantic? Jeremy, Killian, Gareth, Landon, Eli, Creighton, Remi:

They've definitely rolled around in paint and fucked on a canvas after it. Niko would display it in the entryway of their house if Brandon let him.

They've also joined the mile high club.

After they get engaged, Brandon calls him by his full-name as in "Nikolai Sokolov-Hunter-King" just to piss him off but Nikolai loves being associated to Brandon in every possible way, so it backfires.

Their wedding bands have each other's name inscribed in them.

As does the underside of their ring fingers in the other's handwriting.

Nikolai tries drawing a heart over the i in his name and almost gets smacked.

[hiccupbutpurple]

Jonathan Groff, like the singer/actor dude wtf! Wait no I googled and I don’t think it’s the same one lol. Either way I thought that for a solid minute and that was probably the last thing I expected to find out today, it’s certainly the weirdest and it’s only 1am.

side note who the FUCK are jonathan groff and jon pollack and why did nobody stop them when they had the chance

[sourb0i]

Just got out of Beetlejuice 2! I'd give it a 4/10 overall

Pros:

All the original actors (Michael Keaton, Catherine O'Hara etc, Wynona Rider) reprised their roles really well; Catherine O'Hara in particular

The relationship between Lydia and Delia was nice; I enjoyed the whole 'you did it to me, now it's happening to you' between Celia, Lydia, and Astrid

Practical effects were good; honestly it was just refreshing to have any at all. I especially liked Charles' shark-bite effect

There were some genuinely funny parts, especially the (first part of) the wedding musical number

I thought Dolores was interesting as an antagonist, and I liked her character design (though I have gripes- see below)

Cons

The vibe just wasn't there. The plot didn't really feel committed to any one thing, and when the movie ended my first thought was "what the fuck was that about?"

There were also a lot of plot holes-- or at least, worldbuilding holes. Why was Beetlejuice working in the Afterlife office? Why is there a crime unit (and laundromat)? Why couldn't Lydia see her dead husband, even though he said he "checked up on [her and Astrid]" periodically?

I am honestly really pissed about how Barbara and Adam were written off. Obviously they can't have the original actors reprising their roles, but they deserved a better ending than a hand-waved one liner.

While Dolores had a lot of potential as an antagonist, she wasn't given nearly enough character. Her only lines (as far as I can remember) were "Where's Beetlejuice". Why is she so obsessed with him? What does she hope to gain by reuniting with him? What's the deal with her soul-sucking quest for immortality? So much wasted potential

The same was true of...the Murderous Boyfriend Who Was Such a Non-Character That I Forgot His Name As Soon As He Said it.

Seriously. They could've set up a great plot twist if they'd given him more character/more set-up with the parents. Instead the guy was a walking red flag.

I also wasn't a huge fan of Astrid's character. Like they set her up to be this girl who is ostracized bc of her mom (fair), but then instead of leaning into that they made her into this Gen Z Feminist/Eco-Warrior archetype, and it just felt like the writers were trying to make fun of that instead of actually making her into a whole person. Like, ok, she knows who Marie Curie is (even tho she got the nationality wrong), but what does she do for fun? What kind of music does she like? Does she have any hobbies outside of activism?

While I enjoyed some of the musical numbers (the wedding, and the soul train particularly) on their own merits, they just felt really out of place. The original had a solid musical theme, but this felt all over the place

Also! I wish we'd gotten to see more of Lydia interacting with ghosts in her day-to-day life! That seems like something that could be really traumatic and/or played up for comedic purposes. I loved the gag with her and the other actress in the bathroom! Give me more of that!

Overall, the movie felt like it didn't really know what to do with itself. There were so many out-of-place cameos (Burn Goreman, I'm looking at you), and stylistically and thematically it never really felt committed to one thing. It was an empty movie with nothing to say, and that's really disappointing, because it had a lot of potential to be something fun.

(Also. Produced by Brad Pitt?????)

[hannahssimblr]

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Transcript

Jonas: This is my friend, Dalia. Dalia, this is Jude.

Dalia: The roomie.

Jonas: Roommate and friend.

Dalia: I've heard a couple things about you.

Jude: How worried should I be about that?

Dalia: They were good things, mostly. Though they tell me you speak German like shit.

Jude: Where you from?

Dalia: Pittsburgh, you?

Jude: Guess.

Dalia: You got a fucked up accent, but I hear something familiar. Gimme a state.

Jude: New Mexico.

Dalia: Roswell and Chile peppers. Y'ever seen an alien?

Jude: As a kid I went to this UFO convention with my weird neighbour and her grandma.

Dalia: And? Did you see a UFO?

Jude: I usually don't tell people this part, but yeah.

Astrid: Dalia, they didn't have menthols, so I had to get plain.

Dalia: Ugh! Vile. I'll have to make do. By the way,Jude, this is my friend, Astrid. Astrid, this is Jude, Jonas' friend and roommate. He was just telling me he saw a UFO. Continue.

Astrid: I don't believe in flying saucers and such things.

Dalia: That's closed-minded. Jude, would you like a cigarette?

Jude: I don't really smoke.

Astrid: So you're the guy Leon was bitching so much about.

Dalia: Astrid. Oh lord.

Jude: Hm. What he say?

Astrid: All of this stuff about how you apparently refuse to speak the language, and that he's forced to switch to English and all of this.

Dalia: And you can disregard it. He's a giant baby and just pissed that his English is bad, and he can't be a pain in the ass in all languages.

Jude: Thought this guy was a friend of yours.

Astrid: We endure him.

Jude: I don't understand that.

Dalia: You will when you see his apartment.

[shipperqueen93]

Let me tell you why I'm not worried as much anymore. They made a mistake.

Even if Vax and Keyleth died, BH made it out. Orym made it out. Orym saw the Champion of the Matron of Ravens compressed to save The Voice of the Tempest. And Orym has connections to Whitestone.

The second Vex finds out what happened? VM is all in. Gilmore? In. Kima & Allura? In. Zahra and Kash? In.

Yasha and/or Essek find out about Caleb and Beau? M9 is there. They could possibly even pull the dynasty in over the bastardization of their relics. Could maybe pull in Astrid and Wulf. Ending up at Uthodurn? Hi Reani.

Yussa? Well tbf he probably won't fight but he'll provide aid.

Not counting Vax there are 5 champions of the God's out there that BH have direct, or indirect, access to. The Gods are going to be pissed.

BH are too well connected now. They should have killed them first.

Ludinus fucked up.