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divinemare · 3 years ago

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⊹₊ ⋆ 𝔠𝔬𝔩𝔡 𝔰𝔱𝔞𝔯𝔩𝔦𝔤𝔥𝔱𝔰 ⋆₊ ⊹

┊⁀➷ nyx x oc

┊part six

-`,✎ once she looked at him, she finally saw him, saw everything he was, everything he never let her see of him. and she loved it. craved it. every last dark, troubled and mischievous bit of it.

-`, tw ➛ suggestive language, swearing, implied sex.

part five

☁︎·̩͙✧

"Cry no more, the one you've waited so long for," Elliot paused his speech to open the doors dramatically. "Has arrived."

Kardam instantly sighed and shook his head, whispering a prayer to the Mother. As Asterin beamed happily approaching the chestnut male and greeting him with a hug.

"I'll owe a life debt to whoever cuts out his tongue one day," Hollyver entered the small palace sighing and rolling her eyes.

Elliot gave her a dramatic offended gasp and put a hand to his chest, but before he could speak, he was interrupted and nearly knocked to the ground by two younglings who rushed in so fast neither had time to react.

"I choose room first!" shouted Asra.

"Asra, wait for me!" Inara pleaded as she ran after her.

When Asra wasn't training —or really, when she was spending time with Inara, who seemed to be the one that brought the real bright side of her—, she looked like a real young girl, without so much Valkyrie leather or desire to cut up her opponents. Demetria smiled at the girls, then turned in surprise at the sound of Nesta Archeron's voice.

"Seraphina! Don’t ru-" but the youngest of them all, little Seraphina, only 6 years old, broke free from her mother's arms to run after her sister and cousin.

"Cassian," the female looked at her mate with a sigh.

"I'll get her," the male dropped the bags on the ground and started running after his little girl.

Demetria remembered with a smile when Seraphina learned to walk. Once she got comfortable, there was no stopping the little one, she ran every time her little feet touched the ground. Then again when she learned to winnow, Demetria had never seen Nesta so constantly agitated.

Demetria and Blaze showed everyone to their rooms, Darya, along with her parents, Amren and Varian, arrived minutes later, finally, her mother and aunt Vanessa arrived accompanied by Morrigan and Emery, and everyone began to prepare for the incoming celebrations.

✧₊˚.

Demetria watched her people dance with a small smile on her lips, her chest full of warmth and happiness at the sight of so much joy dancing around her to the music of the Winter Court. She took a sip of wine and let out a chuckle. Every now and then, someone would approach her, shyly asking for a dance, and of course, Demetria, unable to ignore the smiles and blushes on the faces of her people, accepted each and every request. Now, feeling her feet ache, she promised herself that she was just taking a break before returning to the party. After all, it had been almost three days since the start of the celebrations and there were still two more to go. This was just a pre-celebration, before the day of the actual Solatice came.

She looked around the place again, there was a bonfire in the middle of everything and everyone was spread out around it, snow was slowly falling from the sky, just a few drops of white that made everything look as if stars were falling from the sky. People chatted, laughed and drank, those dipped into corners of the cold dark night, and some danced around the bonfire full of laughter and joy. Demetria spotted her friends; Kardam stood in a dark corner, trying to be absorbed by the shadows in order to stop his mother's scolding. The read-headed female was urging him to go and dance with the, apparently, twelve girl who had asked him to dance, and the twelve girl he had politely turned down, Gwyneth telling her son not to be a boomer like his father, while the male wrapped in shadows stood beside them raising an eyebrow at the accusing words his mate, but also trying not to laugh at his son's situation. Asterin for her part was visibly tipsy and dancing with any male that came near, just a few steps behind, her father was being held by her mother in what looked like an attempt to stop her mate from scaring the shit out of every single one of those poor males. Then there was Elliot, kissing with a female and a male, at the same time. Demetria made a face while quickly turning her eyes away from the scene. Darya and her mother were together, sipping wine and laughing at something —or someone, probably—. Hollyver was dancing with the little Seraphina while Inara and Asra where with Cassian making the poor male sweat trying to catch up with their mischief. Her own parents and her aunt were a few seats away from her, talking to their friends and members of the court. Her godmother Morrigan already so tipsy on wine Viviane held her friend close. Then she saw her brother, flirting graciously with a female who was looking at him like he was some sort of god and was completely fascinated by the sight of him. Demetria snorted, wrinkling her nose. Sometimes, her stupid brother reminded her why he was friends with the stupid Prince of the Night, they were made for each other.

Speaking of which... where the hell was he? But more importantly, why the hell was she looking for him now?

Demetria scanned the whole place once more, trying not to look too obvious as she searched for a dark head and greyish purple eyes.

"Looking for someone, sweetheart?" the tingle in her neck suddenly hit her, the arrogant voice made her suck in a sigh and she did her best not to let it out.

Demetria slowly looked up, meeting those violet-grey eyes, that raven-dark hair and that obnoxious, annoying smile. "Yeah, looking for someone interesting, I haven't had any luck yet."

In her lie, the smile on Nyx's face only grew bigger, making his face look even more annoying. She tensed her jaw and stopped looking at him in an attempt to quell the urge to punch that smirk off his face. After a moment of neither of them speaking, Demetria was growing increasingly annoyed at his arrogant presence alone, so when she reached the point where she felt her chest heaved, she turned to look at him again with daggers for eyes. "Do you need something? Or is it just that you haven't found a female drunk enough to-"

"Dance with me."

Those three words were enough to leave her completely and utterly dumbfounded.

She stared at him with her mouth partially open, unable to utter a word. She blinked a couple of times, trying to decide if she had imagined it or if it had really happened. Nyx was staring at her with an unreadable expression, whatever answer or explanation she expected to find in his eyes, she couldn't find it. Then he reached out his hand to her, and that's when she knew she hadn't imagined anything. She stared at him for a moment, her mind waging a violent war between taking his hand or rejecting him with a sarcastic remark.

She chose the more unpredictable of those two options, the one her body decided to go for, ignoring every reproachful cry in her mind. She took his hand, looking into his eyes and never taking her eyes from his for a moment. This time, Nyx didn't smile cheekily, his expressions didn't change at all, and as they walked towards the crowd of dancing Fae, not for a single moment did they stop looking at each other.

Just as they arrived at the dance floor, the musicians were playing one of her favorite songs, it was perfect for dancing, in fact, it was the song she always danced to with her brother, but now, while Blaze seemed too busy eating some random female's mouth, she was busy staring into the eyes of the male she hated the most as she danced in his arms.

When the choreography forced them to clasp hands and dance in half circles, she swore Nyx was closer than necessary, and when he tilted his head, she had to hold her breath when his lips brushed her ear. "You look beautiful tonight."

Four words. Four words that had made her heart stop in her throat.

What the hell was Nyx planning, what did he want? Those two questions played over and over in her head as she looked at him.

"Is this some new prank or something, what's the catch?" Demetria asked once they were face to face again.

"Make you blush."

"I’m not blushing."

He grabbed her waist and lowered her a little to the ground, making her have to hold onto his shoulders. Their faces inches apart.

“Then there’s no trick,” he lifted her again and spun her around.

When she stopped spinning, her back was pressed against him, and a quick, inevitable trip down memory lane took her back to the night in Velaris when they'd been in almost those exact same positions, with his mouth on her neck and his hands on her hips after she'd accidentally touched his wings.

"Relax, Demetria. For tonight, just for tonight," he murmured in her ear as they took a step forward and a step back.

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, was it... longing she heard in his voice? When she opened her eyes again, surprise struck her as she felt that same longing inside her. And for that reason, she didn't answer him, afraid that the feeling would be reflected in her voice. So she turned again and ended up facing him, her eyes told him everything her mouth could not at that moment. In that instant, the two of them loosened up as they had never done when they were together, and from then on, it was the music that drove them apart.

Asterin, who was also dancing, saw them and suddenly stopped with her mouth open. She then pushed away all the males around her and practically ran towards Kardam, who, miraculously, had been able to get away from his parents, condemning his father at suggesting to his mother that she also try to make her mate dance with her. Gwyneth had immediately looked at her mate and given Azriel no choice practically dragging him with her to the dance floor.

"Are you...?" Unable to continue the sentence, Asterin merely stared at the couple that were now dancing with less I-want-to-kill-you intensity.

"I am."

"Are they...?"

"They are."

"Holy freaking Cauldron."

"Holy freaking Cauldron indeed."

"Hey, have you seen Demetria? I was going to ask her if-" Elliot arrived, interrupting Asterin and Kardam's looks of astonishment, and when his eyes followed his cousins' gazes, the male smiled cluelessly. "Oh, there she is, I'm going to-"

"Don't you dare you big idiot!" But before he could take more than two steps, Asterin grabbed her cousin by the collar and pulled him back to drag him as far away from the now dancing couple as possible.

"Aste- Kardam!" Elliot shouted for help, but Kardam turned a deaf ear as he grinned broadly.

"Thank you, Great Mother, thank you."

✧₊˚.

Two songs later, everything seemed different. There was no snapping at each other, no dead stares, no tense jaws and shoulders or sarcastic retort for every word that came out of the other's mouth. For a moment, it was just them, dancing in the middle of the night with their eyes fixed on each other, at one point, they even smiled, Demetria laughing when Nyx couldn't keep up with some of the traditional winter court dances and slowed down so she could teach them to him. In that moment, she didn't feel angry or annoyed with him, it was almost as if they were the only ones dancing around the bonfire, they weren't, but they couldn't know that at the time. Focused only on each other, the rest of the world practically faded away.

When the third song ended and everyone around them stopped to applaud the musicians, they stopped too. Breathing heavily, the sound of applause snapped them back to reality. They kept looking into each other's eyes, but a thought, a memory, crossed Demetria's mind in time to bring her completely back to the ground. She tensed slightly again and swallowed hard, when Nyx noticed, his eyes flicked for a couple of seconds to her throat, then to her mouth as she licked her lips, then back to her eyes. Demetria’s heart tripped over the three points on which he had focused his gaze.

"Why did you do it? How?" The questions she'd been dying to ask him slipped out of her mouth as her eyes tried desperately to search for answers in his now stone cold expression.

Nyx came back to earth at that moment, too, tensing his shoulders and breathing a little too hard, he took a step back from her, the absence of his body pressed against her leaving her without a grounding presence. He had every intention of leaving her there alone, with a thousand questions and zero answers, but Demetria wouldn't allow it, wouldn't let him suddenly turn back into the big jerk he usually was. So, just as Nyx was about to take another step back, she grabbed his wrist, making him stop.

"Why?" She repeated again, this time with more demand.

Nyx sighed, looked down at the ground and caught his upper lip between his teeth for a couple of seconds before closing his eyes and letting out a sigh. Now he was the one grabbing her wrist and, before Demetria could start arguing or demanding an answer again, he began to drag her away.

"Where are we... Wait, Nyx, wait!" He didn't stop, and when Demetria realized he was looking for privacy, she took the lead instead, now dragging him into the woods.

Nyx didn't protest, didn't say anything at all as Demetria led them to a place she obviously knew perfectly well. Somewhere in the forest, the trees opened up again, and when they were close enough, he saw a crag overlooking a lake, and in the distance, the mountains stood proudly, it was a sight close to home, so similar to the mountains of Velaris, only this ones were fully covered in snow. Once they reached the crag, he was certain that the view was one of the most beautiful things he had ever seen in his life, and he lived in the freaking city of starlights.

The sky full of stars, the moon and the mountains reflected in the water, like a mirror, an upside-down world. The ground was completely covered with snow and so were the few spreading trees. He was so amazed that he didn't realize that Demetria had been holding his hand until she let go of it. Then Nyx looked up at her, her eyes were shining with a brightness he had never seen before, as if this place they were in was bliss itself.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" She asked, still focusing her astonished gaze on the landscape.

"Very."

When Demetria turned her head and found him looking directly at her, her chest heaved again and her neck and ears grew warm.

"What is this place?"

When he turned his eyes away from her she felt grateful, the hot spots on her skin cooled again, and swallowing hard, she found the words to answer. "It's my place. I thought, since I'd apparently found yours, it was only fair to show you mine," they hadn't spoken of the day they'd nearly drowned, and bringing up the subject again made the air rush out of them both.

"How you found me that day, by the way, I've never shown anyone the cliff before."

"When I'm stressed or confused or…pretty much feel out of place, I like to be somewhere cold. The coldness, the snow, all that relaxes me. I had gone to one of the mountains, where it usually snows, when I saw you. I was going to go back because I honestly didn't want to see you, you were the reason I needed a breath in the first place, but then, when I saw you jumping, I just..." she didn't continue, she just didn't know how to do so.

Silence fell between them. Demetria focused her gaze on the mountains in front of her, in an attempt to avoid his intense eyes on her. When he said nothing, just stared at her for a long moment, long enough to make her uncomfortable, she punched herself in her head and turned to him to say something to fill the silence. "I haven't shown this place to anyone either, not even Blaze. It's mine. And I know it sounds ridiculous because anyone could easily come here, but... I don't know, it just feels like mine."

"I know exactly what you mean. That cliff is mine too."

His eyes were so intensely on her, she had to swallow hard to deflect the tension. Silence came over them again. And, maybe it was her imagination, but she could have sworn Nyx was moving closer and closer to her. But then again, tonight, everything about Nyx could be her imagination.

"Why did you help me all those months ago, how did you do it?" No, he was definitely right, Nyx had moved closer to her, so much so that the clouds of mist coming out of their mouths melted into one.

It was his turn to swallow, and just when Demetria thought he would turn away again and not answer her question, Nyx looked her straight in the eye. "Because you were scared, nervous, and I couldn't stand the feeling of it."

His words caught her so by surprise that she froze. How could he feel that? Because she had felt that way, deep down, she had felt insecure about the whole situation, afraid that it would affect her family, afraid to let the flame inside her burst out and consume everything around her, including those she had no intention of hurting. Nyx had felt that, the quiet desperation well hidden in all those layers of ice.

He was so close that she had to tilt her head back to stare into his eyes. Every word spoken had been true, she saw it in his grey-violet eyes, no gift of vision needed.

Before she could respond, or simply move closer to him as she had no words to respond to that, the sky lit up with colours. Green, violet and deep pink lights illuminated the sky in divine waves of pure beauty. When he looked up, Nyx sighed in awe, the beauty of the aurora grabbed his full attention, turning away from Demetria to walk closer to the edge of the crag as if that would bring him closer to the lights, his face lit up with an amazed smile and the green and violet and deep pink lights reflected in his eyes. His gaze was so pure that Demetria couldn't contain a smile, like a child admiring the world for the first time. Walking down next to him, she closed her eyes for a second letting out a sigh and then took another deep breath, smelling the snow around them and how the air seemed to change in the presence of the northern lights.

"This is... wow..." the male next to her let out a sigh, she looked up at him, his eyes were fixed on the sky as if he had never seen anything more beautiful.

"I know," she smiled, looked up at the aurora and spoke again. "I come here every solstice, when everyone is drunk enough not to notice my absence, to see better, here everything is so quiet and peaceful, here you can fully see the lights, back there it's mere coloured light, but here...".

She didn't bother to explain further, with the way he was looking at her now, she knew he understood.

"I did," Nyx said suddenly, tearing her eyes away from the lights and fixing them on him, confused.

"What?

"Every year I'd see you sneak away from the bonfire and into the forest. The first time I tried to follow you, but then I saw that you wanted to be alone; you kept looking around, as if you felt I was following you, so I came back, and since then, I always notice when you leave," his voice was rough and low, but they were so close that it traveled to her very body like a sweat coated weave.

Suddenly, her mouth was completely dry, she had to swallow hard and run her tongue twice over her lips to get them wet. She stared at him for a second, taking in his words. Once again tonight, he hadn't failed to completely stun her with every word that came out of his mouth. The lights ceased to be her main interest and his eyes became it instead. Demetria remembered perfectly well the first night she had sneaked away from the party to see the lights, she had felt so nervous that she had thought she was being followed, she had glanced behind her every now and then on her way to the crag, and suddenly, when she had arrived, she had stopped feeling that way. At the time she had thought it was nerves about being caught, her parents wouldn't have liked to see her alone at night in the woods when she was little, but now she knew she had been followed, followed by Nyx.

"How?"

He didn't answer right away, his eyes looking troubled, as if he was thinking again whether to answer that honestly. After a moment, when they were close enough again that the mist coming out after their breathing mixed, he finally did.

"Because I always see you, Demetria, it can’t be dark enough, crowded enough, or I to be drunk enough for me not to see you. Because when I don't see you, I feel the need to look for you," he lifted a hand, and she was so breathless she didn't even think to turn away from his touch on her cheek, Nyx was looking at her as if trying to take in every detail so he would never forget the exact color of her lips, or the flush on her cheeks, or the sparkle on her different colored eyes, how they seemed to held snowflakes in them, or the way her eyebrows moved without even her knowing they did whenever she was confused, sad or angry.

Demetria wasn't sure if it was him or her who approached even more, but either way, the distance would now be enough for her to stand on her tiptoes to kiss him.

His hand moved from her cheek to her chin, and he tilted her head up slightly, brushing her lower lip with his thumb. It was then that the air escaped her lungs completely, and a sudden desire to have his lips on hers made her want to moan just thinking about it.

"I will always look for you," Nyx whispered against her mouth.

He made no other move to close the little distance that remained, so, taking matters into her own hands, she did. She felt him then, all of him. His lips were as soft as she knew they would be. They tasted of wine and cinnamon. He loved cinnamon rolls, she remembered then, his aunt Elain had been the one to blame for the obsession. She cooked the most delicious cinnamon rolls, and for as long as they were little kids, Elain would sneak them one or two when their parents weren’t looking. That combination, that taste, lulled her from thoughts. His body was warm and strong, much larger than hers, holding her perfectly in his arms. At first, it was the softest kiss she had ever given, as if they were both afraid of what might happen, of making it happen, because, after all, years of not getting along, and being a pain in each other’s asses were now confused in the taste of their mouths and the longing of their hearts.

"Please, just... tonight. Just tonight, pretend you don't hate me, please," Nyx stopped kissing her, sensing in her the same fear and instability he himself felt. He leaned his forehead against hers and cupped her face with both hands.

Hearing him beg her for something might have made her laugh hours ago. Now, it only left her feeling so hot that she feared she didn't know how to control the sensation. Demetria swallowed, then it came out of her mouth the words she never thought she would ever be saying.

"I don't hate you."

A mere whisper was all it took for what Nyx had been holding back to finally be unleashed. He grunted and pressed his lips against hers again, this time in a much more desperate, lust-filled kiss. Her body exploded with a new kind of heat. Now it wasn't just her cold fire bursting, but his as well. Both flames, one cold and made of ice, the other dark and made of night and fire, mingled and fought each other, combining into one. Like their fire, their mouths fought for the lead, desperate to encompass all that was the other. Within seconds, his mouth was no longer on hers, but on her cheeks, then her chin, her jaw, and so he worked his way down her throat, to her collarbone. She shuddered and gasped as his lips reached that point, as his tongue took the taste of her skin. Her body screamed in agony from the fire that threatened to consume her all.

"If I touch you right now, how wet would I find you, sweetheart?" He whispered against her ear with his lips.

Maybe it was because she hadn’t had se in quite some time, maybe it was the thrill of it all, the taste of something forbidden while kissing with her long-sworn nemesis. But Demetria was afraid to admit the answer to that question even to herself.

"Why don't you find out for yourself, if you're so curious?" Her voice was breathy, her heart hammering so hard in her chest she could barely hear her own words. Nyx breath out a laugh, so rough, low and almost animalistic that it made her knees feel weak. His hands trailed down her throat, towards her collarbone, and stoped at her rapid falling chest.

"Because if I touched you right now, I wouldn't be able to stop, and this rock isn't exactly the place I've been imagining fucking you in."

The confession only made her hotter, at this point, she was sure she could feel the wetness rolling down her thighs, that the very spot between her legs ached with the need for him, for his touch, for his words.

"How selfish of you to think only of your own desires."

"Oh, believe me, darling, once I finally touch you, you'll call me anything but selfish."

Then he bit her earlobe, drawing a low moan from her. Demetria was on the verge of despair, with his erection pressed against her and his breath on her neck, she was sure she would lose her mind at any moment.

Nyx grunted again, as if it pained him deeply how much he was truly holding back. To think that she was the reason he was on the verge of insanity made Demetria proud and hot at the same time.

“Make that noice again, and I’ll freaking melt this snow and fuck every little noice out of you right here,” he pressed his forehead against hers again, his jaw tightening.

She couldn't help the small laugh that escaped her and tilted her head slightly so she could see his troubled yet hungry eyes and mischievous grin.

"Don't tempt me, you know very well I'll do anything to tease you," Nyx laughed then too, licking his teeth and then fighting his own smirk, shaking his head and looking up at the lights that still painted the sky. When he looked at her again, it all happened so fast that she barely had time to take it in.

Violet-grey eyes, night, stars, fire, powers of inimaginable reach, everything he was, everything he let her see and everything he didn't let her see, a kind of darkness she'd never seen before in her life, so full of... love, hope, fear, despair, so beautiful she could cry, so fearful she wanted to hold her in her arms and soothe her until all traces of fear were gone, he was scared, of himself, of what he could do, what was expected of him, and fearful it all could never be enough, she saw the need to be like his parents, yet the insecurity he could never be like them. A force so protective, so possessive, so loving. Mischievous, bold, full of energy and adrenaline. Everything he was, everything she never thought he could be.

She was too stunned to speak, she had no idea what had just happened, how could she not know that her powers were about to open up? How could she not have felt them coming? Right now she didn't care to think about it, all she cared about was the feeling so deep it almost hurt in her chest. She had seen him, every part of him.

In awe, Demetria put a hand in his face, tracing soothing caresses against his skin as if like that she could soothe the darkness inside him. And smiled, truly, for the first time genuinely smiled at him.

"I see you too."

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raziyekroos · 3 years ago

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Sinssoshsosbsoqhdodvcusbaidvwocbwosvq.

Okay my name is Mahta (مه تا) but my online persona name is Asterin (cause it sounds nice and pretty).

I did celebrate Norouz yesterday. In my time zone it was it the morning so we did a bunch of our عید دیدنی yesterday… it was so exhausting. How about you?

Oooo i love fic recssss. I read more fanfics than book-books…😅 especially cause i dont have school this week im gonna be reading all of those you recommended✨

Also yes. If i could marry one person and divorce would never be an option it would be Julian. No elaboration needed, he is amazing and hot and wonderful and deserved better and i love him so so so much. If for some god forbidden reason he didn’t exist than i would marry Jem. He’s so precious and sweet but i still like julian better :))

I love magnus so so much too but tbh i dont think anyone (perhaps other than alec) is good enough for him. We would be too chaotic together and i can’t imagine him with anyone but alec.

Alexander Gideon Lightwood-Bane is the only politician to ever exist that we can idolize. He is my favourite politician.

I dont think you can imagine how happy and excited i am to get to know you. I literally don’t know ANYONE in real life who is a tsc fan (let alone another iranian).

Oh speaking of iran (not really but still) i freaked out when i found out cassandra clare was born in TEHRAN😭😭 when i was reading TOG i CRIED cause Cordelia was the first ever persian representation ive seen in western books and because of that she’s just special to me🥹

Oh girllll your real name is sooo pretty too 😍😍 I love it!! I really love all names that have مه in them, like مهتاب,مهیاس, مهتا, مهسا,... Cause like... I really love moon 🌚🌝🌚🌝

But your online name is so cool too 🤭🤭❤️ Soo I call you Asterin! Hello Asterin 🤭 is that Persian btw? I don't think I've ever heard it, maybe it's گیلکی?!

Ohh great! Here it was at 7 pm but my uncles came to our home right away so we kinda did part of our عید دیدنی too 🌝🌝

But yes it is kinda exhausting assdghjjj

I actually won't be going to that much parties this year, because I have to take my konkour exam this year so I have to study 💀💀💀 but I'll still attend a few more

I'm happy to know you like fic recs 🤭🤭 then I'll make sure to tell you whenever I see a good one^^ please do the same I'll be more than happy 😁

YES?!?! I mean Julian is just husband material dude 😭😭❤️ his only flaw was that I didn't like how he treated Magnus in TDA but then again, he was kind of an asshole to anyone who wasn't Emma and his family so I don't take it personally 😂

And I LOVE JEM TOO!!! he's just precious 🥺 he would definitely be my second choice too! Alongside James Herondale 👀👀 they're my unproblematic bebes

And I get what you say, the world does not deserve Magnus Bane :') and I don't think anyone deserve malec except themselves yes 🥺😭❤️

Oh I think I can imagine 🤭🤭🙈 I know other Iranian people who like Shadowhunters, but that's it. They haven't read the books 😭😭 they like SHTV and have no idea who Jem, Julian, Will, Emma, ... is 😭😭😭 and whenever I wanna tell them about sth I'm excited about they're like DON'T SPOIL IT like dude, you've been saying that for the last two years if you wanted to EVER read the books you've had by now 😭😭😭😭 and like, the only thing they do in the Iranian Shadowhunters Channel is updating about the lives of Shadowhunters actors 💀💀💀💀💀 they don't even know about Alastair and Cordelia like WHAT KIND OF PERSIAN ARE YOU 😭😭😭😭

soooo yeah I'm so excited to see you too 🙈🙈❤️ it's really nice to have another Persian babe here 🤭🙈❤️

And YESSS when I read that I was like wtfffff?!?! OUR Tehran?! How? When? Whereeeeee?!

And I know exactly what you mean, I'd never seen Persian representing in any books before :') except maybe A Man Called Ove, because it had a main character named پروانه too 🤭❤️

But Cordelia is just different to me, I always call her Leila cause it's more familiar for me 😅 and also ALASTAIR CARSTAIRS is also a precious babe and I love him 🥺🥺❤️❤️

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huntsphury · 3 years ago

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so now it’s time to rank my favorite SJM girls!

First, Feyre Archeron. She is a goddess. She is the moment. She inspires me SO MUCH. I love how kind she is, how she was able to forgive, and to help people even when they didn’t deserve. How lonely she was at the beggining, and how she found a home and a true family and had to fight for every single step: she wasn’t born with magical powers, she didn’t have a profetic destiny, her journey belongs only to her. Also, it can be frustrating - being a Feyre stan and seeing her forgiving so easily - but it wouldn’t be her otherwise. Her kindness is what makes her so special

Next, Gwyneth Berdara. I loved this girl from the very first moment. She didn’t let Nesta treat her like she was sick or delicate because of her trauma. And then I discovered a funny, kind, lovely, brave and strong woman who faced her biggest fears for her friends, who started to train because she would never feel weak again, and convinced the other priestesses to do it, too. Also, she has the characteristic a love most: altruism. She would die on that bridge, at the Blood Rite, to make sure that Emerie and Nesta would survive. She risked it all in Sangravah to save the children. She had to be hitten by Nesta, bc she wouldn’t let her friend fight alone. And she looks so real to me, so ALIVE

Then, Manon Blackbeak. I never related to Aelin so much as everyone seems to do, but when Manon showed up... I felt like I had finaly met my Aelin (?). I LOVE characters that think about themselves as horrible persons, but are actually good. She was raised under pain and suffering to be a heartless monster, but she discovered that she could have feelings, could love, could take care of her people in another way. She’s such a strong and complex character. Her journey is one of the best things sjm has ever writen. I love her i love her i lover her

Now, Asterin Bleackbeak. I just realized that she has a lot in common with Gwyn, that’s why I love both. But I’ve met this woman before acosf, and I got OBSESSED. I love that, while Manon is pure ice, Asterin is FIRE. She has a “fireheart” and you can see it in every scene. She loves, protects and fights like a lion. She’s a great friend and cousin, and would have been a great wife and mother to her hunter and their little witch (insert cry here). I love that she seems to live like nobody else does, really doing it with her whole heart. I’ll never get over her end :(

To finish, Bryce Quinlan. I won’t lie, she didn’t have me from the beggining. Of course, I liked her, but not THAT much, because she wasn’t writen like Hunt was in the first chapters - not with deep feelings, not in a real way - but that’s just the point of her character: like Hunt, we have to pay attention to see what she hides. And when I finnally felt like I had really MET her, I loved her. She’s funny, super self-confiant, surpringly kind and has a big heart. And she would sacrifice everything she is to save others. I love strong characters who are strong from the inside, without try, they just are and doesn’t even realize, and Bryce is like that. And Hosab made adore her even more. She can make me laugh in any situation

#feyre archeron #pro feyre archeron #gwyneth berdara #gwyn berdara #pro gwyn #manon blackbeak #asterin blackbeak #bryce quinlan #hosab #ccity #crescent city #acotar #tog #sarahjmaas

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rufousnmacska · 3 years ago

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What do you think are the TOG cast's opinion about Manorian is?

From what I can gather, here is what I think the characters mindset is from the end of EOS:

Characters close to either Manon or Dorian:

Aelin: Thinks its a phase for Dorian. Maybe thinks there is no substance in the relationship and it'll be shortlived. Probably stems from a prejudice against witches before from what Ansel told her. I'm curious about how this would change due to the fact Manon, the Thirteen and her kingdom saved Terrasen.

Rowan: Is supportive of Dorian. (Training sesh🤣)

Chaol: Probably heart attack. Probably doesn't like Manon. Probably feels a certain way about Dorian making this decision for himself without Chaol present to "protect" him. Probably thinks Dorian is leaving the "nest" too soon (Jealous of Manon in the sense of when your friend gets a new partner).

Nesryn: Probably supportive of Dorian's happiness.

Elide: Supportive of Manon's happiness

The thirteen: Definitely gave Dorian the "once over". Saw what he was all about. (Probably threatened him) but they were ultimately impressed or gave their approval. They were happy that Manon found someone.

Characters who were not close to Manon or Dorian:

Aedion: Thinks its weird and even laughed at the prospect of them together with Lysandra (he called it a "disaster"). At this point in EOS, he hates Dorian and distrusts Manon. Same prejudice against Manon's people AND Dorian, himself. Stems from Aedion not getting the right idea of who Dorian is despite the years of him "knowing him". He was aware of who Dorian was but never got to know him, because of who his family was (hence the prejudice against him).

Lysandra: Compared Dorian's seeking something completely different to Sorscha like her former clients. Again, she doesn't know either of them, so.... I don't know how valid that opinion is?

I'm really curious to see how their opinions of them changes especially Aelin, Chaol and Aedion.

This ask came through twice and the first time it mentioned the characters’ opinions after KoA. So I hope that’s what you meant anon because that’s how I’m going to answer. If it’s not please let me know 🙂

Aelin - I agree with you about how she views them in EoS. She knows nothing about Manon except she’s a lethal witch and necessary ally. Aelin doesn’t seem to put much thought into why Manon saves Dorian twice. I don’t think anyone does except Dorian and the Thirteen (the people who know Manon behind the mask). So yes, I think Aelin sees it as just physical attraction, just Dorian being Dorian. In KoA, we really don’t get much more, mostly because she’s focused on other things and has been through so much. I think by the end of KoA, Aelin views Manon as a friend as well as an ally. My feeling is she would want both of her friends, Dorian and now Manon, to be happy. If that means they’re together, she’d be all for that.

Rowan - In EoS Rowan was pretty much a full on Manorian stan lol! His little wing man maneuver in the swamp made that clear. And you could say Aelin’s positive reaction to that shows she’s open to the idea of manorian. I loved how supportive Rowan always was of Dorian! Not just when it came to Manon, but as a teacher and friend. I think post KoA he’d also want to see them happy and together. And I think he and Manon would eventually become good friends. They have a lot of similarities that they’d bond over while their spouses talked about books. 🙂

Chaol - This is interesting to me because right after EoS, the fandom (myself included) assumed Chaol would despise Manon and hate that she was with Dorian. Partly for the reasons you’ve given. Then Tower of Dawn came out and Chaol was surprisingly calm when he heard Dorian might be with Manon. His time in the Southern Continent and with Yrene changed him. That made me reconsider things going into KoA. I figured if Manorian ended up together, Chaol would be ok with it, especially since Manon was so protective of Dorian. And once he saw how Dorian had changed, how serious his feelings were for Manon, Chaol was very supportive. He may be a little nervous around her, but I don’t see him trying to come between them.

I totally agree about Elide and Nesryn!

The Thirteen - They knew the real Manon. So they knew Manon had feelings for Dorian before she did. The fact she saved Dorian twice, at the risk of her own life and Asterin’s … they knew that meant something. Compare that to Aelin and her court, who were grateful of course, but only knowing Manon’s reputation meant they never really considered why she’d done it. They were just confused by it or simply chalked it up to some political ploy. We see in KoA that each member of the Thirteen reacted differently to Dorian and his relationship to Manon, which makes sense. They’re all very different characters. But they all respected him. Or in Lin’s case, put up with him lol! Asterin telling Manon to live in KoA was her plea to Manon to experience a full life, one that included love. So if things had ended differently for them, those witches would’ve been overjoyed to see their queen in love.

Glennis, Bronwen, Petrah - You didn’t mention them but I think it’s interesting to consider their opinions. Glennis and Bronwen met both Manon and Dorian at the same time. So for them, the two being a couple is the default. After KoA, I’m sure neither would be bothered or surprised if Manorian got together. Of the three, only Petrah knew Manon before. I think she saw beneath Manon’s mask more than anyone outside the Thirteen. Post KoA, she’d want her queen to be happy and I think she’d get along well with Dorian.

Aedion, Lysandra - Again, I agree with you about Aedion. He is too clouded by his anger at Dorian and his prejudice against witches. His mind is more open at the end of the series, but in EoS he definitely doesn’t get why Dorian and Manon would be together. Lysandra’s (second to Rowan in EoS as a Manorian fan lol) explanation was accurate I think. That isn’t the complete reason for Dorian’s interest in Manon, but it’s a part. Dorian alludes to that himself when he says Manon isn’t breakable like a human woman. Post KoA, I’d imagine Aedion and Dorian would become friends over time. He still may not get what Dorian sees in Manon, but I don’t see him being concerned by it.

I think KoA ends on such a hopeful note that it’s safe to say all the characters would want to see Manorian happy. Especially because of Manon and the Thirteen’s sacrifice and Dorian’s courage in the war.

And let’s be real, Yrene would harass anyone who thought differently 😂

#manorian #manon blackbeak #dorian havilliard #anon ask #aelin galathinius #rowan whitethorn #aedion ashryver #chaol westfall #yrene westfall #nesryn faliq #lysandra #elide lochan #asterin blackbeak #the thirteen

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julemmaes · 4 years ago

Text

Honey - part five

Elide Lochan x Lorcan Salvaterre roommates au

A/N: last famous words “This is their first time so nothing too serious or too long.”

I ENDED UP WRITING THE LONGEST SHIT EVER AND LITERALLY 8K WORDS IT’S JUST FOR THE SMUT. I HOPE YOU ENJOY IT AND DON’T EXPECT PART SIX TO COME OUT ANY TIME SOON CAUSE ACOSF CAME OUT AND I’M SORRY, I HAVE PRIORITIES

Also, this is for my girl Maizie, who I’d die for. I love you ma’am.

masterlist

Word count: 13,118

The second Elide stepped into the house, it was as if she had found herself in the South Pole, and she was almost afraid to walk into the living room, thinking she would find penguins and polar bears there. The only thing she found, however, was a notice slipped under the front door warning them that the boiler system had been damaged by some animal that had gotten into the basement of the building.

She opened her eyes wide when she read that they would not be able to repair it until Monday. That meant no hot water for at least five days.

The cold was already starting to get unbearable and Elide, who had come from outside and had hoped to get back in and turn the heat up to maximum until Lorcan got home and started complaining that their house wasn't a sauna, was about to cry.

Classes at the university that day had been heavy, and the Contemporary History professor had said they should be halfway through the work for the final exam by now. Elide hadn't even chosen the topic she was going to take, too split between the role of women in the Great War and scientific innovations in the 20th century.

The idea of not even being able to take a hot shower made her sincerely consider getting on a plane and fleeing to her parents' house for a few days.

She put her stuff down in the kitchen and headed for the bathroom, undressing and leaving pieces in the hallway. She knew that if she took off her clothes after turning on the shower she would never be able to take one, especially since the idea of putting on her pajamas and getting into bed with a sweaty, grimy body repulsed her.

As soon as she touched the water with her hand she wailed, pulling it away as if it had burned, "Fuck fuck fuck."

She leapt under the jet, wetting her hair and trying to make it as fast as she could as her teeth chattered. She had never felt so cold as she did at that moment.

Not even the time Lysandra had pushed her into the snow during one of their holidays in the mountains and they had just come out of one of the hot tubs.

She didn't even bother to get all the soap out of her hair, because her skin was tingling as if a thousand tiny needles were piercing it trying to reach her bones.

She stepped out of the shower, wrapping herself in her bathrobe the quickest she could, and dialed Lorcan's number. He answered after two rings.

"Hey, honey."

Elide smiled at the nickname, but the happiness was short-lived when a chill shook her body, "Babe, we have a problem."

"What happened? Are you okay?" the concern in his tone of voice made her chuckle.

"Yeah, I'm fine, don't worry," she heard his sigh even through the phone, "Are you still at work?" she asked, "Because I just finished showering and-"

When he spoke, it was as if Elide could see the smug grin on his face, "And you wish I was there with you to help you do things?"

The girl huffed, rubbing her hands against her arms in an attempt to get warm, "I wish you were here because it's thirteen fucking degrees and I'm freezing. We won't have heaters until Monday and the shower is really cold, I just wanted to warn you."

Lorcan cursed, "Are you serious?" he asked with a hint of desperation in his voice, "This is shit luck."

"I know," she sighed, "Maybe you can go to Fen's and take a shower? That way you won't freeze to death."

He snorted, "If I go to Fenrys I risk being assaulted by Asterin."

Elide burst out laughing, "You're right, Rowan's?"

"Can't I just come home and suffer a little?" he asked.

"I don't think that's a good idea and you'd be back in over an hour." she pulled out the hair dryer, squeezing her phone between her ear and shoulder, "The water's already too cold, with the time it'll take you to finish there and get home, it'll probably be freezing. If you get sick it's one more problem. Go to someone and wash up there."

He was silent for a while, then huffed, "Alright, I'll swing by Rowan's."

"Good boy."

"I have to go now because I have to change the water for the dogs, but I'll try to finish as quickly as I can and get to you right away," he said, "I'll see you later."

Elide smiled, "See you later, babe."

***

"Fucking Jesus, Ellie," Lorcan basically yelled as he entered the house. She'd run to the door the second she'd heard the keys turn in the lock. The stuff in his hand fell to the floor as he brought his hands to her face, his eyes wide with worry, "What the hell! Your lips are purple." a chuckle escaped his mouth and then he wrapped his arms around her, holding her to his chest, "You could have put on a jumper, something, how long have you been like this?"

Elide was shivering so much that when she spoke she was stuttering, "I- I tried to- to," a shiver ran through her body, "warm myself with- clothes, but... god it's fucking cold." she managed to finish the sentence.

Lorcan grinned, rubbing his hands over her back and arms, but then brought them to her cheeks, leaning her head back so he could kiss her. Elide closed her eyes, parting her lips and drawing their tongues together. They stood in the doorway kissing for a few minutes, and only when Elide's feet gave out from too much time spent tiptoeing did they pull away.

Lorcan smirked, looking at her mouth, "They're not so purple anymore," he murmured, running a thumb over her chin and tilting her head back again, "Guess I found a way to warm us up." he said in a rough voice, leaning forward.

She blushed under his gaze and didn't fail to notice how the smirk on his lips widened, "Oh, yeah?"

He nodded, pulling away from her and slipping off his jacket, his shoes. Elide hoped very much that he would continue to strip off the clothes she only then realised were not his - probably Rowan's - and take her to her room so they could properly warm up. Her dreams went up in smoke when Lorcan turned to her and with a real smile on his face, exclaimed, "Soup!"

Elide looked at him so evilly that he burst out laughing, "Honey you're freezing." he said in a softer tone, wrapping his arms around her waist, "Let's eat first, then see if we can... do other things to entertain ourselves without dying of hypothermia." and as he spoke he let his hands slide lower and cupped her arse, giving a gentle squeeze and pushing her against him.

She nodded, biting the inside of her cheek to keep from moaning when his hand moved even lower, brushing against her covered sex.

He pulled away so suddenly that Elide staggered to regain some balance, but closed her eyes, insulting him under her breath. Teasing asshole he was.

I don't know how long she stood in the doorway, clutching her sweatshirt around her shoulders, but by the time she reached Lorcan in the kitchen, he had already pulled out the necessary for dinner.

"Okay we don't have any soups ready and I'm not going to wait an hour to eat, noodles?" he asked, holding up two packets of the food. Elide just nodded, still undecided if she wanted to beat him up or just screw it all and take him on the kitchen table until they both-

"Ellie? Are you there?"

She looked up at him, her mind fuzzy, "What?"

He winked, as if he knew exactly what she was thinking, "Chicken or beef? Or curry?"

She shook her head, "You pick and I'll take what's left."

"Okay, I curry, you chicken."

They waited for the water to boil hugging each other, Lorcan had gone to turn on the stereo and the last playlist he had made for her was playing all over the house at a low volume.

They were rocking, stepping on each other's toes and sharing shy kisses trying to get as much warmth from the cooker as they could and when Lorcan leaned over so low that he rested his forehead against hers, starting to sing, Elide felt that emotion so strong it had blinded her burst up in her bpdy.

"So, what should I do when I'm dark and I'm blue, when you light up my roon from July until June?"

She smiled, closing her eyes and enjoying the little gift that was Lorcan's voice and that he only showed to Elide.

"What would I do if there wasn't a you? Would you sing about me like I sing about you?"

She rested her hands on his chest, clutching onto him, "I didn't think you knew them, I thought you just picked them by rhythm." she whispered, almost as if she was scared that she would ruin that moment.

His arms tightened more around her, "We're burning through these yellow lights, yellow lights, yellow lights." he placed a kiss on her hair.

When they finished eating, they lay down on the couch, Elide with her back against his chest, one of his arm around her hips and the other under her head making sure she didn't feel chilled. Lorcan was a walking radiator, but even in case the boy lying behind her was an icicle, his leg between hers, positioned so high that if she moved her hips, she could rub herself against him, made sure Elide didn't feel the stinging bite of the cold.

One of the first episodes of New Girl was scrolling across the screen, but she really couldn't focus on anything but his body, hot, hard, very real behind her. Elide so hoped she didn't have so many layers on her.

She had just made a decision that didn't involve any clothing, just their naked, sweaty bodies grinding against each other, when Lorcan's hand slid higher as he repositioned himself behind her and brushed against her breasts and the words died in her throat for what Elide was sure was the seventh time in a matter of minutes.

A dark chuckle rumbled down her spine, "God this show is so good." he murmured, starting to move his fingers over her stomach, caressing her from over her shirt, "Do you remember when you first came here, the first week, and asked me if you could bring random people over?"

Elide burst out laughing, remembering the completely confused expression he had taken on that occasion. She turned her head just enough to look at him, "Fuck yes, and you said, 'why couldn't you?'" she giggled, pushing back against him even more and making their hips join as well, "I remember thinking you were really dumb."

"'No I mean, at night.'" he said, mimicking her voice and repeating the words she'd said to him years before, "It's not my fault, you look like a fucking innocent smurf, I didn't think you'd even bring a boyfriend, let alone a different person every Saturday night."

"Just because I'm a girl." she huffed, shaking her head, "I wouldn't do you for that kind of guy."

Lorcan leaned closer to her ear, "Don't worry, I know everything I need to know about your sick little mind now."

She swallowed, moving her hips spontaneously and sighed when he responded, rubbing against her in turn. And though Elide wanted to continue that thing that was building between them, her mind had begun to race and she couldn't resist when a laugh escaped her control.

She felt Lorcan smile against the shell of her ear, "What are you laughing about?" he asked, continuing to rub her stomach and going lower and lower with his fingers.

Elide wheezed, bringing a hand to her mouth, "Don't kill me, but... Maeve!" she burst out laughing again, leaning forward slightly to push against him even more.

His hand that had almost reached her lower belly stopped immediately and Elide heard him grunt, shifting enough to pull their bodies apart, "By what fucking logic do you think you can bring Maeve into the conversation? Why?" he asked with a hint of irritation in his voice.

Elide snorted, closing her mouth and trying not to laugh anymore, "I don't know, I guess thinking about the first few weeks here involves remembering her by default," she giggled, eyeing him over her shoulder.

Lorcan had a deep frown on his face as he watched her. He sighed, moving his hand from her hips and bringing it to his face, "Fine, but don't mention her name again."

"She really was a bitch." she muttered, turning back to the tv, "I honestly don't know how you could be with her?"

He huffed, bringing his arm back around her slender body and hugging her again, "Keep bragging about not having any crazy exes, but I'm not the only dumb one. I'd like to remind you of Fenrys's exes and that crazy freak Lysandra was with for a few months before she got with Aedion."

She wanted to laugh, to remember the monster that had been Arobynn, how they had kicked him out the night he had hit on not only Aelin, but Elide and Asterin as well, but she couldn't as an uneasy feeling began to rise in the pit of her stomach. She only prayed that Lorcan didn't notice how tense her body had become and that the topic would soon be dropped.

She was about to make a joke about the show, but he spoke again, "Actually, now that I think about it, I've never heard you talk about any exes," he murmured, craning his neck over her and brushing his lips over her cheek, "Just a few months' worth of flings and one night stands. I'm not your first serious relationship, am I?"

Elide closed her eyes, taking a deep breath and cursing in her head.

By then, he must have realised the change in her mood, because the arm around her tightened his grip only slightly, "Ellie?" the voice just a little more insistent.

She spoke before she could regret her decision, "I've actually only had one serious relationship." she whispered in a weak voice.

The forgotten series continued to play on the screen.

Lorcan breathed audibly behind her, "With a..?"

"Uh," Elide said realizing what he was asking her. Despite the situation and the knowledge that Lorcan knew perfectly well that she didn't differentiate between men and women, a surge of affection struck her heart at that simple gesture. The fact that he hadn't immediately assumed it was a boy made her more pleased than she wanted to admit, "A girl. Ava." she said hesitantly.

Hearing her tone of voice, Lorcan slipped his arm out from under her head, causing the blanket to slide off both of them and Elide immediately felt cold. She turned to him as he pulled himself up to sit and wasn't convinced of what she was saying when she saw the more than serious expression on his face, "Why did you get up, you let the heat out." she scolded him softly.

Lorcan breathed through his nose, studying her face carefully, "Cause I feel like I have to sit down to have this conversation."

Elide wrinkled her nose, making a small grimace, but didn't take her eyes off his, "It's nothing serious, babe,"

"Why don't you let me have my say on the matter?" he asked interrupting her, then ran a hand through his hair, "That is if you want to talk about it, I don't want to force you."

She blinked once. Twice. Then she let her head fall back against the armrest, "I guess the evening won't go the way I hoped it was going if I don't, so," she sighed. She closed her eyes for a moment, scratching her forehead, and Lorcan settled down, dropping his legs over the edge of the couch and positioning hers so they were on his.

When she opened her eyes again, the worried look on his face made her chuckle, "Babe, it's okay." she tried to reassure him, pulling herself up to sit in turn, but staying with her legs over his lap, "It's in the past."

He nodded, "I hope so, but we've lived together for four years and I've never heard you mention this girl. Not once," he said, raising his eyebrows, "And I'm sure Aelin or Asterin would have let it slip now and then, even if it was just to tease you."

Elide couldn't blame him on that and was about to reply, but he wasn't done yet.

"And that only leaves me to think that either the story you're about to tell me is so serious they'd never even mention it, or it's even more serious and they don't know because you've kept it hidden all these years," he concluded in a heavy breath, laying a hand on her thigh.

"Aelin doesn't know," she confessed, biting her lip, "And I wish she didn't find out, like no one else. The only people I'm sure know are Manon and Asterin, because they're directly involved in the story. Maybe Dorian knows too, but I wouldn't bet on it."

Lorcan's hand tightened on her leg, "Now I'm sure it's something serious."

She frowned, thoughtful, "It is serious, Lor, but I don't want you to start worrying about me if I tell you," she said, throwing herself back onto the couch on her back. He was looking at her with such intensity that Elide felt her skin tickle, "I'm fine and the only reason I've never told the others is because I know they'd start acting like mother hens and I don't want them to think I'm fragile or that I need protecting," she continued, holding his gaze and hoping he understood that if she carried on with the story, nothing should change between them.

He nodded, "I promise I won't start treating you like you're made of porcelain."

The sincerity in his eyes, in his voice, made her start, "It was two years before I moved here."

"So you were what? Nineteen?" he asked doing a quick mental calculation.

She nodded, "Ava and I met during my senior year of high school. She was a sophomore in college, but she was only a year older than me," she murmured, going down memory lane. She took a deep breath, "It was my first real relationship. All the ones I'd had before had lasted a month or less and had all been with boys, she was the first girl I'd ever done anything with." she looked at him sidelong, trying to work out how that made him feel. Lorcan looked impassive, completely caught up in her words, but she could see that he was mentally bracing himself to hear the worst.

"I don't remember when the fighting started, but it took me months before I realised how manipulative she was."

She lowered her gaze as Lorcan's features seemed to tense even more and she began to fiddle her fingers, "She didn't do it with malice, or at least I think she did," she trailed off, shaking her head, "No, you know what," she said nodding with conviction, "She did it on purpose and she didn't even try to hide it.

"She was always ready to throw my indecision in my face when it came to my sexuality. She was constantly on edge when we talked about my guy friends and every time I mentioned one of them to her, she would find a way to accuse me of liking them. And the next minute she was there to tell me that she was joking, that there was no way I could like them because I was gay.

"With the girls it was even worse. She wouldn't talk to me for days whenever I went out with my classmates and after sleepovers or whenever I went clubbing with them she would always tell me I had slept with them. So after a while I stopped going out with everyone and stayed in touch with Manon and Asterin, but we only spoke on the phone because they were at college and had no idea what was really going on at home.

She paused, closing her eyes, thinking back to how lonely the year she'd been with Ava had been.

"I loved her, despite everything," she whispered, sighing. "Despite every calculating manipulation. There were times when-" she paused again, feeling the emotion grow in her throat. She brought her hands to her face, rubbing her eyes.

The only time she'd ever had to tell anyone this story had been more than six years before and she hadn't had the courage to tell the details to her friends when they'd come back for the Christmas holidays. She hadn't been able to say the worst things, the things that had scarred her the deepest.

Lorcan moved beneath her and Elide opened her eyes, looking up at him. His hands were clenched into fists and his brow furrowed, "You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to tell me Elide. I'm already glad you trust me enough to tell me even that, there's no need to go on," he whispered.

The problem wasn't the telling, the problem was making it real once she would say it.

Elide had always been a strong follower of her 'until I tell someone, I can pretend it never happened' policy, because once someone else knew the truth too, there was no way to deny it.

She was afraid of how Lorcan might react if she gave him this truth of hers, and she didn't want things to change even before they started at all.

She took a deep breath, nodding, "These aren't things that affect me anymore, clearly, as I have absolutely no problem having sex with other people," she resumed, watching him as he stiffened and closed his eyes.

"Please tell me she never forced you to do anything," he murmured. And Elide could feel the anger, the raw, undiluted fury that laced his words, but also the sorrow for her. The need to protect her from the thousand possibilities that were surely forming in his mind.

She tightened in her shoulders and shook her head, suddenly feeling self-conscious, "It wasn't really a forcing, it was more a convincing me to- it was a convincing me to want it. She never touched me when I didn't want to, but she was pushing me to believe I wanted it. There were times when I didn't want to have sex and she could get me to give in by telling me certain things." then she blushed, feeling how stupid her words sounded. "I'm sorry, that makes absolutely no sense."

Lorcan opened his eyes wide, shaking his head, "No, Elide, no. It makes perfect sense." and as he said it, he shifted her slightly so he could lie back down next to her. "No one should try to turn a no into a yes."

Elide wrapped her arms around his hips and he settled so that she was half lying on his chest. One of his arms ended around her shoulders and the other found its place on her hip.

She closed her eyes, resting a hand on his chest and feeling his heart beat beneath her fingers, "I know, I don't know why I apologized," she confessed, "Again, it's not something that affects me anymore. I have no problem when I do something. If I don't want to do it, I let whoever I'm with know, and if they don't stop right away, I'll leave." Feeling him stiffen again, she was quick to point out that no one had ever asked her to do anything she didn't want to. After Ava, she'd never met anyone who pushed her to do more.

"I'm sorry, even though you're over it and you say it doesn't affect you in any way, I'm sorry that you had to spend months on end with this person and that it took you so long to realize it," he whispered, leaving a kiss on her hair.

Elide started to lightly caress his skin and a shiver ran through her body. She had almost forgotten about the freezing cold that reigned over the flat. Lorcan moved a little to pick up the blanket that had fallen and placed it over her, tucking it under her back.

"Don't worry, it all ended with a big bang." she giggled and it was as if the body she was lying on relaxed completely as the tension he had built up until that moment disappeared. "Asterin took her sweet time in giving me justice."

"What happened?"

"The first Christmas we were supposed to spend together I found out she had another girlfriend."

Lorcan opened his mouth wide, "Are you serious?"

She nodded, with an amused smile. It no longer hurt to think about Ava and everything that had happened to her in the months they had been together, "It was early December or so and I was on my way home to my parents after spending the weekend with her. I was going inside and Jenna appeared out of nowhere," she explained, resting her chin on his chest and watching his reaction, "Jenna was the other girl."

Lorcan nodded for her to continue.

"She started insulting me, telling me it was my fault that her relationship with Ava was going badly and I," Elide chuckled remembering how confused she had been at the time, "I was going to ask her who the fuck she was and what she wanted from me and then Manon and Asterin came out of my house and I remember thinking I was dreaming. Because my two best friends were supposed to be six hours away and there was a crazy woman in my front yard.

"Jenna called Ava and I don't remember exactly what they yelled at me, but somehow Ava managed to blame me for everything, even the things that had nothing to do with Jenna, but were internal to our relationship." she sighed, biting the inside of her cheek, "Manon was calm, sort of, but Asterin was so pissed." she opened her eyes wide, shaking her head.

Lorcan worked his jaw, stroking her arm, "I bet my ass she was, who wouldn't be."

"Anyway," she continued as if he hadn't spoken, "Jenna tried to hit me at one point and I think if it wasn't for Manon literally knocking me to the ground pulling me back I'd have a crooked nose right now. Asterin hit back for me and she was pretty frightening afterwards. Ava got in between the two of them and it went on for a while. They only left when Manon threatened to call the police.

"That night when my parents came home I had to explain everything to them. It was the night I had to come out and I couldn't help thinking that that was exactly what Ava had wanted all along. I knew my parents would accept me no matter what I told them or whoever I brought home, but it should have been my decision and she managed to wrest everything from me, even this.

"I found out later that Manon and Asterin had come back to Perranth to surprise me. I don't know what would have happened if they hadn't been there and I don't think I want to know. I'm just very happy that Rin managed to land some good blows," she concluded, smiling faintly at Lorcan.

He watched her for a while in silence, then he snorted, bringing a hand to his face, "God," he chuckled, "What a fucking story."

She tightened her arms around his body, "Yeah, and one I'd rather never tell again."

His eyes softened, "My lips are sealed," he murmured, then smiled, shaking his head as if he still couldn't believe what he'd just heard. Then he actually laughed, and Elide felt her heart warm up at that sound, "I'm so glad you made it out of there," then he cursed under his breath, still in an amused tone, "I guess I'll have to seriously consider Asterin's offer, to thank her somehow."

The girl pulled herself up slightly, raising her eyebrows and smiling, "Would you really do that?"

Lorcan's expression turned questioning, "I don't know if I should worry about you being so excited about fucking The Blondies," he said, mimicking air quotes with his fingers, "But no, honey," he shook his head with an apologetic grimace, "as satisfying as the image of you fucking more than one person at a time is, I'd rather not take part in such things."

Elide laughed, "You don't have to give me excuses, I understand. It's not for everyone."

Lorcan looked at her more closely, "Can I ask you one thing?"

"Even two," she said with a smile on her lips.

"You don't have to answer if you don't want to and feel fully within your rights to slap me if I'm-"

She put a hand over his mouth, shushing him, "If it's questions about my sex life you can ask me anything you want babe, I'm not the type to keep my adventures secret or private. Unless the other participants explicitly ask me to." she removed her hand slowly and he licked his lips.

He nodded thoughtlessly, "How many threesomes have you had?"

She giggled, pressing her face against his chest, "I wouldn't know, I don't keep tabs. I can tell you though, I don't have enough fingers to count."

"Hmm," was his only reply, "And have you done things with even more people?"

Elide tilted her head to the side as she felt his hands begin to slowly caress her side, her arm, over the blanket, and she felt again the imposing need to strip naked of every bit of clothing so she could feel his caresses on her skin.

"I might have." she decided to tease him.

Lorcan smirked, "So much for being comfortable with your sex life."

Elide slowly bent one leg, bringing it up until her knee brushed the crotch of his trousers and he tilted his head towards hers, brushing his lips against hers. "Perhaps I want to play a game with you," she murmured, licking his bottom lip. When her eyes met his and he nodded, she carried on, sliding her hand down his lower chest, "It only happened once, that I was having sex with a few people at once. Why don't you try saying a number and every time you get it wrong, you have to take off a piece of clothing?"

He smiled, closing his eyes and Elide felt him harden against her thigh, which had started to move as she pressed her centre against his leg. His voice grew hoarse, "What if I guess? What do I win?"

She rose slightly, pressing her breasts to him, and kissed him the moment her hand slipped under his shirt, going to rub his abs. Lorcan's skin was on fire.

Elide's tongue slid over his and she moaned into the kiss when the hand that was around her shoulders slid under her arm and came to rest on her breast, his thumb caressing the already hard nipple under all those layers of fabric.

"I need you naked," she murmured, pulling away from the kiss only briefly, continuing to rub her sex with his taut, hard leg. Lorcan had other ideas though.

"Wait," he said breathlessly, placing a hand on her face, brushing her hair out of her eyes, and smiled as a king who had just won a war would, "Six."

Elide released a surprised laugh, nodding softly, "Yes," she scratched the skin of his stomach softly, "How did you-"

Her words were cut short by Lorcan's lips crashing into hers. She moaned into the kiss as one of his hands clasped over her ass. Her hips began to rub more forcefully against his leg and when a louder moan forced its way out of her, he pulled away, lifting the leg she kept draped over his hips and turned her towards the TV, putting her in the position they'd been in earlier.

Elide was about to ask him if he was serious.

He couldn't tease her like that and kiss her and touch her and then-

She stiffened as the hand on her stomach began to trace a path to her navel slowly and his hips brushed against hers, she shivered when his mouth grazed the shell of her ear, "You didn't lay down the terms for my victory, so now we play by my rules."

Elide's throat went dry and when she tried to swallow she found herself gulping down air. She sighed when his hand reached the hem of her trousers and slipped under the loose elastic, sliding over the thin fabric of her panties, never getting close to her throbbing spot.

"And what," she breathed, closing her eyes as his other hand crept under her neck and Lorcan bent his arm so that he could reach her breasts unhindered, "what rules am I supposed to follow?"

"First of all," he whispered hoarsely, leaving light kisses on her jaw to her temple, "we should take this hoodie off. Because it's blocking me from touching your gorgeous tits and I don't like it."

Elide arched her back slightly, letting him lower the zip of her hoodie.

She wasn't used to standing still while someone ordered her what to do in bed. She wasn't always the one in charge, but she always had a way of turning the situation to her liking whenever she wanted, whereas right now, with her body tight in Lorcan's grip and pressed against his chest, she found it hard to even breathe.

Not least because the hand that had taken to kneading her low stomach had drifted lower, so slowly that Elide could have screamed in frustration.

The only thing that wasn't letting her lose control completely was the hard presence pressing against her bottom that let her know he must be in as much agony as she was.

"Lorcan," she begged him, tightening her hand around the arm wrapped around her neck. The hand not busy in the gentle torture in her trousers had moved the hoodie enough to allow Lorcan easy access that she would feel his touch even through the fabric of her shirt.

When the palm of his hand made contact with Elide's left breast, she gasped and didn't have time to assimilate the thumb and forefinger closing around the sensitive nipple that Lorcan's other fingers finally touched the apex of her thighs.

The sound that came from her lips was shattering. She spread her legs slightly, letting his fingers apply more pressure as they circled her clit.

With labored breathing and his chest rising and falling against her back, she managed to say, "More."

"You want more?" asked Lorcan, "How can I give you more?"

She moaned when he pinched her nipple a little harder, pulling and releasing it as her hips began to grind against his hand, trying to push him lower, "Touch me."

Elide heard him swallow behind her, but when he spoke, his voice was firm and teasing, "I'm already touching you, honey."

She whined, opening her mouth and letting out a groan of discomfort when she felt the lack of his fingers against her clit, "More." she repeated desperately, moving her hips back, against him, to relieve some of the tightness between her legs, "Touch me."

This was the Elide she knew. The one who gave orders to her partner even when it looked like the other had the upper hand.

Apparently, however, that wasn't the situation.

Lorcan removed both hands from her body, "I'll touch you when I decide you deserve it."

Elide opened her eyes wide, whimpering, "You can't do that."

He chuckled. Lorcan chuckled, "I just did."

"Lorcan." she said in a threatening voice, starting to turn towards him.

One of his hands, the one that had been occupied in her panties until moments before, snapped to her hip, pinning her down. He clicked his tongue a couple of times, "Don't even think about it." he whispered and Elide could hear the sneer in his voice, "Watch the tv and wait for things to come to you."

She was about to retort, tell him to fuck off and say she didn't feel like playing games, she wanted to feel him, to have him. If he didn't waste time, they could finally take the final step and Elide couldn't wait to feel that big, fat cock inside-

"It's like I can hear your thoughts from here. I can feel the wheels in your head turning, turning, turning," he said, moving a hand to her forehead and tapping it with a finger. "We've been together less than a week, but I know exactly what you're thinking when you look at me. How you fantasize-"

"You're only as good as your words, then?" she said with bated breath, feeling the heat build up deep in her stomach, "Because if you know what I'm thinking and you're not doing anything to make it real, then we have a problem."

Lorcan was silent for so long that Elide wondered if maybe she hadn't crossed a line. A hand brushing against her swollen nipple every so often, almost as if he didn't even notice, didn't give her enough time to think about how to apologize. She knew that some people found the courage to be talkative in bed until the other person talked back.

They'd already spent a lot of time in the sheets, considering only the mere days of their relationship, but that didn't mean Lorcan was comfortable with her talking back to him.

She was about to open her mouth, finally getting a break from that light, lingering tit torture, when Lorcan spoke up, "Take off your pants."

"What?"

"Now." he said in a hard voice, slipping a thumb under the hem of her trousers and starting to pull them down along her sides. Elide was appalled. "Since you're so keen on doing things quickly. Take off your pants." he repeated, with a little more urgency in his tone.

She looked over her shoulder at him, lifting her hips slightly off the cushions and bending her right leg for him to slip them off. She was about to put her leg down, bend the other to take strip down entirely and throw them on the floor along with the now forgotten blanket, but Lorcan's fingers tightened around her ankle and placed her foot on his hip, "Hold still."

Elide, completely open and exposed to his mercy, moaned softly and looked into his eyes, seeing the lust for her, for her body, there. She didn't even feel the cold biting into her skin anymore as his hand loosened its grip on her ankle and began to move up, up to her knee and then, much to her disappointment, down again.

Elide's head fell back and she couldn't sit still following his orders, moving her left leg to slip her trousers off once and for all.

Lorcan's hand snapped to her left thigh, pinning her down again, but when he realised she was only trying to undress, he gave a small nod with his chin and she released a long sigh at the utter dominance of her boyfriend.

"God you're beautiful." he murmured against her cheek, brushing her skin with his lips. Elide turned to him just enough so she could kiss him and as their tongues entwined, his hand slid to her stomach and, without hesitation, he slipped under the elastic of her panties.

She gaped into the kiss, opening her eyes and catching just a glimpse of the grin on his lips as his fingers brushed her clit, now sensitive from the attention it had received earlier, and slid lower, parting her lower lips. Her eyes snapped shut, eliciting a low chuckle from him.

The sound made Elide's muscles clench and it didn't go unnoticed by the man, "Just cause I laugh?" he whispered, pressing his forehead against hers, "What are you going to do when I actually touch you?" he asked. His fingers left her skin for a second before bringing her folds apart and it was then that Lorcan bit her lip, making her moan at the exact moment he ran his middle finger over her entrance, utterly soaked for him.

"Fuuck." she said slowly as his finger traced imaginary lines from her clit to her sex over and over again, until Elide grew overly impatient and began to sway her hips.

Lorcan breathed in her ear, "Don't move," he began to roll his finger over her entrance, pushing just the tip in and teasing her.

The fingers holding her open loosened their grip and Elide had to hold back a cry when Lorcan finally pushed his finger inside her, ever so slowly that her eyes rolled in her head at that slight stretch. Her fingers had never been big or thick and they certainly weren't as long as his.

When he thrust his whole finger inside her, starting to rub her clit with his thumb, her hips snapped up and the hand Lorcan held on her chest slipped into the neck of her shirt, finding only bare, soft skin. He muttered, "Girl, you really don't know what bras are, hmm? I'll never have the satisfaction of taking one off."

Elide couldn't find the words as Lorcan began pumping his finger inside her and when he added one, shoving them in very slowly, she couldn't hold back any longer and moaned so loudly she doubted the neighbours wouldn't hear them.

The hand that had taken to kneading her breasts continued undisturbed as Lorcan's mouth found its place on her neck and Elide caught fire. There wasn't a part of him that wasn't touching her and she could feel the way this made him feel.

His fingers picked up a little more speed and his thumb stopped stroking her rosy little pearl much to her chagrin, but she didn't think about how close she had been to coming when a third finger entered her, spreading her even wider.

She couldn't help herself when she thought that even just his fingers gave the same feeling as a good portion of the dicks she had seen. She didn't know if she'd ever tell him.

"I know I've told you this before," he panted against her skin, "But fuck, you're so tight."

A soft moan left her lips as one of her arms folded behind her, tightening around Lorcan's neck and pushing him against her hard. His fingers arched inside her, hitting that sweet spot of rough skin and Elide's eyes went wide, "Fuck, yeah. There, don't stop."

Lorcan didn't and sped up his movements, angling his hand so that it was always hitting the sensitive spot inside her that only with toys could she touch on her own, sucking on the skin under her ear and drawing blood back up until a bruise began to form. He licked the sore spot before biting her jaw, turning her to face him and capturing her lips with his.

The hand that was wrapped around him slid between their bodies and Elide never regretted what she did during sex, but in that moment, as her hips moved against his hand in search of that high she so craved and his mouth proclaimed her his, she imagined there was a first time for everything.

She touched him through his jeans, feeling his hard length ready for her, but Lorcan didn't seem to like the deed because in an instant his hand was out of her panties and his mouth was no longer on hers. The hand that had been tending to her nipples slipped out of her shirt with impressive rapidity and when Elide finally breathed, realising how little of her he was now touching, she closed her eyes, almost crying.

"You should have asked," he said through his teeth, thrusting his chin forward, "It wasn't in the rules. Or was it?"

Elide groaned, unable to open her eyes, "Lorcan."

"It wasn't in the rules." he repeated, starting to stroke her bare thigh, sending shivers down her spine, "We should do something about that."

"Yeah," spat Elide, "finish your fucking job."

Lorcan's eyebrows shot up, "You're not used to being ordered around." Elide looked up at him and the expression on her face was enough of an answer as Lorcan smiled mischievously, "Perhaps we should move to the bed."

She clenched her fists, "Perhaps, you should finish. Your. Job."

Lorcan brought his hand to her covered sex and Elide moaned, biting her lip. He cupped her through her panties and then gave her a little nudge with his hips, "Bed."

She grunted, knowing full well there would be no convincing him, so she sighed and pulled herself up onto her seat, closing her legs and feeling how wet she actually was.

Lorcan put both hands around her hips and kissed the back of her neck, "I promise I'll make it up to you in not even a minute."

Elide, despite her frustration for not having come, smiled from over her shoulder, pulling herself to her feet and spreading her arms wide, "You carry me."

Lorcan smiled at her from a sitting position, her body between his legs, and when he circled her hips with his arms, leaning forward to leave a kiss on her stomach, Elide's demeanor softened. He stood up, sliding his hands under her thighs and taking her in his arms with a smooth swing of his hips.

Elide laid her hands on his face, smiling back at him, "I sincerely hope you finish your job cause I might have to take care of this myself and I wouldn't let you touch anything. I don't know how much you'd enjoy it, at that point - the teasing."

Lorcan snorted, "Like you'd really be able to let me just watch."

She frowned, still with that sly smile on her face, as he started walking towards his room, "Maybe not tonight, because I can't wait any longer, but I'll take your word for it, Salvaterre." then she winked, leaving a light kiss on his cheek before whispering, "We'll see who gives in first when you watch me touch myself without being able to do anything."

She felt Lorcan falter in his steps and was content with even just that reaction.

She had already won.

"We'll see," he murmured.

Once in the room, it didn't take Lorcan half a moment to lay her down on the black cotton covers and she pulled herself up to the headboard.

Elide looked around the room and then ran a hand over the sheets, grimacing when she found them scratchy, "Why do you sleep on sandpaper?"

He huffed, crawling across the mattress until he was half lying on top of her, "Not everyone can afford silk sheets, honey."

She smiled sweetly at him, laying her hand on his bicep, "I'll get you some for your birthday."

Lorcan furrowed his brow, "Sorry Ellie, but right now," he had moved so close that he was now standing in front of her and she could feel his breath on her nose. Hips pressed against hers while still too many layers separated them, "I couldn't care less about the sheets."

She pouted, "It was just a commen- uh."

She opened her lips wide in surprise to feel his mouth against hers, but closed her eyes immediately and kept molding her lips so that they were never parted from his.

Elide brought both arms behind his head, pushing him harder against her and wrapped her legs around his hips.

Lorcan was too lost in the kiss to realise his girlfriend's true intentions and failed to react when with a quick jerk of her hips, Elide found herself on top of him, straddling him. She didn't break the kiss, but loosened her arms from his neck and without breaking away from him, slipped off her hoodie, with Lorcan's help.

"You're way overdressed," she breathed between one touch of lips and another, "You need to take something off."

She pulled herself up, staying on his thighs and began to fiddle with the zip of his trousers. Lorcan's hands snapped forward and when she had unfastened the button, he pulled the garment down with such force that Elide hopped up on her heels and they both chuckled, "And you say I'm the one who wants to do it quick," she teased him, helping him pull them off all the way, along with his socks.

She leaned down again, placing a swift peck on his lips as he began to caress her arms and her hands slipped under his t-shirt, touching that skin that still burned despite the temperature dropping with such speed that Elide wondered how she was still alive.

"You need to take this fucking shirt off because it smells too much like Rowan and I can't touch you if I think-"

"Got it."

Casting a quick glance at him, she saw the ghost of a smile on his lips and one began to form on hers, but Lorcan pulled himself up, removing his jumper and shirt with a simple movement of his arm and Elide felt that familiar warmth reappear stronger than before in her stomach as he stood almost completely naked in front of her.

"You still have your shirt on," he pointed out to her, drawing her attention back to his face and not to the sculpted abs he was sporting.

Elide smirked, fighting the haze that was blinding her mind, "And I'm not taking it off for a bit longer, I want to enjoy myself first."

She put a hand on his chest, pushing him and forcing him to lean against the headboard, "What do you want to do? I haven't-"

"You've had your chance, now it's my turn," she reprised him, not letting him finish.

She slid her fingers slowly across his chest, scratching the skin with her nails just enough to mark his body. Lorcan's hands ended up on her thighs, caressing the skin there in circular motions and the loving smile on his face made her freeze with her fingers wrapped around the elastic of his boxers now struggling to contain his erection.

"What is it?"

Lorcan closed his eyes, giving her legs a little squeeze, "Nothing."

Elide smiled more widely, lowering his boxers a little and letting his cock finally spring free. He didn't waste another second, and then her hand wrapped around him.

"Fuck, Elide." he sighed, opening his mouth and throwing his head back on the pillow.

She began to slowly pump him, never really touching his most sensitive spot. With her right hand wrapped around his erection and her left working his balls - something she found drove Lorcan insane - Elide felt her core heat up with a new desire.

She looked at her lover's face, chuckling at the expression of sheer ecstasy that morphed his features as she ran her thumb over the tip, drawing a choked groan from him. "You're so big I can't even close my fingers around you," she murmured, shifting her eyes to his member.

His hips snapped forward and Elide twisted her wrist, starting to massage him harder.

Lorcan arched his back as she closed her fist over the tip and groped it for a few seconds too long. One of his hands snapped on her wrist and pulled her away from his hard-on. Elide, with an amused grin on her face, moved her hand from his balls to his cock, squeezing it so hard that he groaned one more time before he pulled himself up to his seat and grabbed her other hand as well.

Now, he with bated breath and she with a satisfied expression on her face, they looked at each other as if they both knew exactly where it was all going and neither spoke when Lorcan picked her up and laid her gently on the bed, kissing her with a softness he rarely showed to the outside world, but was always ready to flaunt when it came to her.

He ran his tongue over her lips, caressing every inch of exposed skin on her legs, and when his fingers finally reached her panties, Elide heard his breathing quicken, as if he hadn't seen her naked before, as if his hand hadn't been inside her just minutes before. He pulled them off so slowly that she wondered how many minutes, hours, days had passed.

They pulled apart slightly, foreheads still pressed together as Lorcan gently parted her thighs and ran a knuckle between her folds, feeling how wet and ready for him she was.

Elide opened her mouth, breathing in the air he was giving her when without warning, he entered her with a finger and quickly withdrew, adding one and then another until she was fully content and he began to move in earnest. He fucked her with his hand for a while, never slowing his pace, until she felt that tight squeezing sensation in her stomach, lower down, tugging and pulling like a taut rope.

"You're so beautiful." he murmured, curling his fingers upwards and scratching that sensitive spot inside her. Elide moaned loudly, clinging to his arms and arching her back. "So fucking beautiful."

"Lor-" his name broke off as he stopped and very slowly slipped a fourth finger inside her. She lowered her gaze between their bodies and when his palm began to rub urgently against her clit, Elide fractured around his fingers.

Her nails sank into his muscular arms as she arched and her body was shaken by violent jolts, one stronger than the last until she could take them no more and the fingers inside her didn't stop. Just as the heel of his hand did not stop as it continued to grind furiously against her bundle of nerves.

Elide cried, snapping a hand between the two of them as Lorcan's mouth closed over hers again. The orgasm still coursed through her, but she was too sensitive, too sensitive. She managed to pull his hand away from her clit, but his fingers continued relentlessly and Elide felt something that only a few times alone she had been able to feel, and as good as it had been, she was not at all inclined to do it in front of Lorcan.

"Wait," she managed to throw out. He stilled immediately, smiling and flexing his fingers inside her one last time, stroking her gently, before pulling them out of her quivering pussy. He cupped her sex and she trembled, closing her eyes and feeling the muscles in her body twitch as a rush went through her.

"You did so good, El." he whispered, kissing her cheeks, one at a time, and then her nose, her lips, until she opened her eyes and laid a hand on her face. She delighted in the touch. "So good, baby."

Elide wanted to tell him at that moment.

She wanted to tell him what she felt in the bottom of her heart, that emotion of deep respect and admiration. For the person he was and the perfect, patient friend he proved to be every day. For the things he made her feel, whether they were good or bad - because they were so strong, she didn't think she could feel that way with anyone else in the world.

For the trust she had been able to give him without even thinking about it almost an hour earlier on the couch in their house. For the love he gave her without even realising it every day.

And as she looked into his eyes, she knew she would tell him, sooner or later. Just, not right then.

"I wanna touch you."

Lorcan's smile turned sly, "Be my guest."

Her body still a little weak from the orgasm she had just received, she managed to pull herself up and her boyfriend, understanding her intentions, lay down where she had been just seconds before, folding his arms behind his head and stretching out fully naked at her mercy.

"You look pretty good tonight, babe," she whispered, tracing his abs with her fingertips, moving towards the line of hair that ran across his pubes. A single finger passed over his entire length and when it reached the tip, his cock twitched and Lorcan released a choked moan.

Elide looked up at him, closing her fingers around him as before, but failing to touch the head. She lowered her gaze to his sex and smiled, licking her lips to wet them and then lowered herself onto him, parting her lips just enough to slide him into her mouth in one breath.

Lorcan truly moaned this time, so loudly that Elide heard it ringing in her ears, and when she pushed lower, relaxing the muscles in her throat and taking him all the way in, his hips jerked upwards and the tip of his cock hit the back of her throat.

Despite the training Elide had forced herself to do over the years to be able to take her partners entirely, Lorcan was more than considerable in size and certainly not average, and when she pulled back to get some air and he followed her with his hips, she found herself gagging.

His eyes were on her lips, glossy with his precum as they moved over the head of his cock. She swirled her tongue along the length of him and bobbed her head as much as she could without having to pull away.

"Fuck, Elide," he breathed, dropping his arms down his sides and throwing his head back. His hands closed around the sheets and Lorcan had never felt like this. No one had ever been able to make him feel this good with just a blow job and he was about to tell her so, but if one moment Elide's lips were locked on him and her nose rubbed against his waist, the next the cold air hit his hard cock and not even her hand was on his thigh anymore.

He lowered his gaze to where her head should have been, but Elide was kneeling between his legs and stripping off the last of her clothes. The shirt disappeared in the blink of an eye and the panties the next and the girl gave no warning to him before straddling him and rubbing her now completely wet sex up and down its length.

They both moaned loudly at that first contact.

Lorcan's hands soon found her hips and as Elide slid a hand between her legs and spread her lips to glide him better against her heat. Each time she thrust forward, the tip of his cock hit her clit, eliciting an increasingly loud moan from her.

She was still a little sensitive from her first orgasm and Lorcan was so hard, so warm against her. She could feel so much pleasure just rubbing against him and couldn't imagine what it would be like to finally have him inside her. Elide pressed herself more forcefully against his body, grinding her hips into his and opening her mouth wide when a thrust a little too hard caused her to drop past the tip and it nudged against her entrance, giving them both a taste of what was to come.

His cock was dripping wet with her arousal and the way her lips wrapped neatly around the skin of his dick, creating the perfect friction, made Lorcan think he was in heaven.

It was as if he couldn't shift his gaze from the sight he never thought he'd be able to see, but the second Elide's eyes met Lorcan's, in an instant his hands moved to her breasts, fiercely kneading those perfect, round tits he loved so much. He pinched the nipples as Elide's movements became more erratic and he pulled and rubbed the darker sensitive skin.

"It's so good, you're so- ah." Elide fell forward, both hands on his chest as he didn't stop his movements and the orgasm flowed through her.

Lorcan brought his hands to her waist again as her motion began to falter, "Don't fucking stop, don't stop."

Elide screamed his name, her stomach contracted again and again until her body couldn't take it anymore and the jolts of pleasure that started from her hot core and reached every nerve ending in her small body broke her thoroughly. He continued to move her gently against him, pushing through the aftershocks until she couldn't take them either and collapsed against him.

Lorcan's arms quickly found their place on her back and Elide was breathing frantically, her head tucked into the niche between his head and shoulder. He laid a hand on the small of her back, "Are you alright?"

She didn't answer, but nodded slowly, relaxing her arms against her sides and letting him slide her off his body and onto the mattress. With one arm draped over his chest and one leg entwined in his, Elide felt at home.

"You sure you wanna do this tonight?" he asked her, stroking an eyebrow and moving her hair out of her face. She nodded again, keeping her eyes closed, and felt him settle down on the bed. "You don't have to do this just because I haven't come yet, in fact, I'd really rather not do anything if you're too tired or satisfied enough and-"

One of Elide's hands snapped to his mouth, "Give me five minutes and if you don't put your huge cock inside me then I'm leaving."

Lorcan made a sound somewhere between a laugh and a moan, "Yes ma'am." he murmured against her hair, leaving a kiss there shortly after.

Elide traced the tip of her index finger over his chest, following the rhythm of his breaths and after a few minutes where his hands roamed over her body as well, she lifted her head just enough to kiss him and Lorcan understood without her uttering a word and she loved him a little more.

He moved on top of her without weighing on her and never parting their lips and the more he tried to pull away the more she got off the bed, until they were sitting up and Lorcan had to put his hands on her shoulders and force her away. He laughed with a odd glint in his eyes, "Why don't you just lie down and let me do this?"

Elide hesitated for a moment, the words on the tip of her tongue, denial ready to strike... but why not accept the offer? Why not let someone else do it all for once?

She gave a small nod and settled down on the covers, legs spread wide for Lorcan as he sat on his knees like a subject before his queen, naked for her pleasure.

He moved closer, lifting her legs just enough to place them over his thighs and Elide moaned when she felt the tip of his cock graze her pussy. He hadn't thought she would still be so sensitive after all this time.

Lorcan arched his eyebrows, "We'll take it slow."

Elide glared at him, "You try that and I'll have you castrated," she threatened him, "I'm not too conceited to admit that this is one of the best nights of my life, but I've done worse and you know it," she gave him a pointed look, "I don't need you to treat me gently."

He watched her for a few seconds in silence, pondering her words, then nodded, tightening his lips into a thin line. He grabbed his cock in one hand and pushed the tip against her, dragging it up and down her slit and teasing her still sensitive clit. He grunted lowly, feeling how hot and soaked she still was.

Elide moaned, all kinds of venom forgotten as Lorcan brushed her sex with his and made her feel delighted as few before him had managed to do. He parted her lips with his fingers and continued to rub his cock against her, sending surges of pleasure through her body.

"You're fucking amazing." he murmured at one point, pushing the tip against her hole, teasing her and making her think he was finally going to give them both what they wanted most, only to slip his cock back between her folds and then up to nudge her clit.

He was praising her with sweet, dirty, loving words, but Elide just wanted him to slip inside her and finally give her everything he had to offer.

When Lorcan played that little fucking game of his, Elide pushed her hips forward, trying to drive him deeper into her, but he moved back, grinning.

The asshole knew exactly what he was doing.

Elide gritted her teeth and reached between the two of them, grabbing his cock and forcing it against her, not letting it in though. Lorcan leaned forward over her and she met him halfway, sighing when their faces were inches apart and she could feel his breath on her cheeks, "When you said I should let you do it, I thought you were actually going to do something." then tightened her grip on his member, fixing her eyes in his, "So why don't you cut the bullshit and get to it?"

Lorcan's hand that wasn't busy supporting his weight without crushing Elide tightened on her wrist and she released her grip. The smile on his face startled her as much as it turned her on, and when he lowered himself even more, brushing his lips with hers, Elide thought she was going to die, "Let me do this for you."

And then, with a slowness that belonged only to those immortal, he slid inside her, inch by glorious inch and spread her as she had never been spread before.

Elide's mouth formed an o as he continued to slide into her and it seemed to go on forever. Her walls tightened around him and Lorcan grunted, closing his eyes, but opening them again right away, as if he didn't want to miss her expression.

When he touched Elide's wall and pushed harder, straining for space he wouldn't find, Lorcan smiled, biting her lip and pulling away immediately after, "Next time you try to give me an order while I'm on top, I'll make sure the ropes around your wrists are so tight you won't be able to move."

Her back arched at the promise in those words and then Lorcan began to move and Elide felt him. She felt him everywhere as he slowly rolled out of her and back in with a hard thrust and then repeated as her pussy clenched and tightened on him, almost as if her body refused to let him go. The pain wasn't really a pain, more of an ache, but she hadn't felt this kind of sensation since the first few times she'd had sex and rarely could she find people filling her the way he was filling her.

The discomfort almost immediately gave way to pleasure, and stars of light so bright they blinded her exploded behind her eyelids as Lorcan's hand landed on her hip and he pushed her down into the bed, angling his hips so that he hit a very specific spot inside her each time he thrust in.

"Fuck," Elide managed to speak once she found her voice again.

"There you are," Lorcan murmured in a strained voice, bending down just enough to leave a kiss on her lips. "I thought I'd lost you."

"You did for a moment," Elide moaned when he gave a particularly hard thrust, "God, you're so big."

Lorcan grunted, biting her shoulder lightly, continuing to shove down with his hips, with that patience even he didn't know he possessed, "Everything okay?" he asked her, not stopping.

She nodded, smiling reassuringly at him and then moaning, contracting the muscles in her lower abdomen and making him join in with the sounds of pleasure their bodies were making. "Never been better."

The grin of pure male satisfaction on his face did not go unnoticed.

And then Elide looked down and what she saw knocked the air out of her lungs. She clamped down on his dick and Lorcan moaned loudly again, thrusting his hips even further into her, expanding what Elide recognised as the imprint of his cock visible on her stomach.

She reached out a hand between them and Lorcan caught it, stopping her and shaking his head. When he spoke, his voice was even rougher than usual, "Don't touch yourself, not yet."

Elide looked into his eyes and then back down again, feeling a rush of pleasure when he pulled out so much that his tip - which she had noticed with no small amount of glee pointed slightly upwards - rubbed against her most sensitive spot. She managed to shake her head in turn, "No, not that... look."

And Lorcan didn't know what she was referring to and pulling back, stopping so he could look at whatever had managed to distract her in such a moment. Elide stopped him by grabbing his hips and urging him against her and it was at that moment that he saw the bulge that had appeared when he had slipped back into her. He opened his eyes wide, moving slightly, shifting that bulge which he realised was the tip of his cock pressing against her stomach.

"Holy fuck, Ellie, I can see myself moving inside you," he managed to draw out.

At those words and with the resuming of his movements, Elide dropped her head back and when she felt Lorcan's hand push against the bulge on her stomach, she cried out his name.

"You're not giving me orders now, hmm?"

His thumb had begun to draw circles on her clit, massaging it steadily as her walls kept quivering around the hugeness that was him and Lorcan felt the instant Elide came, because the pressure inside her became so great that he was forced out and he didn't have time to realise what was happening when a squirt of liquid hit him, drenching his legs and waist.

His hand never moved from the apex of her thighs and Elide began to shudder with the force of the orgasm that kept spurting inside her.

"You're so fucking hot." he tried to drive into her again, but he couldn't get half an inch in that Elide yelped and the discomfort in that sound was more than the pleasure as he quickly pulled away, finally moving his hand from her clit and giving her a moment's peace.

The instant his fingers were no longer on her, Elide's body slumped back on the covers and she continued to whimper between forced breaths, settling into a fetal position and closing her eyes. Her expression didn't appear to be pained, but he couldn't be sure he hadn't crossed any lines until she told him.

"Elide." the concern in the tone of his voice palpable.

The ache of his erection tugging at his skin and the discomfort of yet another ruined orgasm completely forgotten as he tried to figure out if the girl in front of him was okay.

"Love," he tried again, "Elide, look at me." he ordered, taking her arm. She turned to face him again, and when Lorcan noticed the tears in the corners of her eyes, he felt himself dying inside. "Ellie... god, are you okay?"

She let out a choked laugh, taking his hand and squeezing it with what little strength she had left, "That was the best orgasm of my life." she whispered in a voice so hoarse he almost didn't recognize her. "You broke me," she teased and he knew she was back with him.

Lorcan let go a sigh of relief, running a hand through his hair and over his face, "Fuck, you scared me."

Elide continued to breathe harshly, but held her legs open to make room for him and it amazed him when she arched her hips slightly and invited him to rub himself against her again, telling him to finish inside her.

He shook his head, more serious than ever, "I'm not going to- Ellie you literally yelped like a wounded dog when I just- No, no way." and as he spoke he was pulling away, trying to unwind from her legs without crushing her.

"Lor, you're not going to hurt me," she reassured him, her eyes half closed still in a post-orgasmic haze, "and if you do hurt me, I'll tell you. I promise." she continued, lifting one leg with what little strength she had left in her body and pushed him back against her.

Lorcan studied her face, looking for any sign that she was lying to him. She smiled at him, bringing a hand to his cheek and he sighed. He dropped his head forward and his eyes landed on his erection, which was twitching from the pleasure that had been taken from it.

He looked into Elide's eyes, "You promise. Are you sure?"

She nodded, smirking, "Look who's asking for permission now. You can cont-"

And Lorcan didn't let her finish her sentence, thrusting back in with a firm but gentle thrust at the same time so as not to hurt her.

She opened her mouth wide in a silent scream and it wasn't long before Elide's tight, swollen walls tightened around him in one last overwhelming orgasm that pushed him over the edge as well. He pushed into her all the way to the hilt and pressed his forehead against hers as white ropes of come spurred from his cock into her.

Her name fell from his lips like honey from a beehive.

He fell with the full weight of his body onto Elide and when she grunted, laughing softly, he found the strength to slip off her and fall onto the mattress beside her, wrapping his arms around her shoulders and pulling her onto his chest.

They lay in silence for what seemed like hours, days, years listening to each other's breathing and when Lorcan finally moved, Elide whimpered, "Where are you going?"

He chuckled, "Nowhere," and to prove how true his words were he tightened his grip around her, "I'm here."

She closed her eyes again, trying to close her legs which were starting to get cold, "Maybe we should cover ourselves before the frost steals all our warmth." she mumbled as she was shaken by a chill.

"Five minutes." was his reply.

And then Elide finally managed to bring her legs against his and felt a wet patch on the blankets and like a bolt from the blue she realised what had happened the third magnificent time her boyfriend had made her come.

"What?"

"Sorry?"

"You tensed up. What is it?" asked Lorcan. She felt him stiffen beneath her, "Are you okay? Does anything hurt?"

Elide pulled herself up with some difficulty. It was as if someone had driven a truck over her - a nice truck. She was sore in all the right places. She was about to tell him, her mind wandering so fast she couldn't think of one thing and that was it, but she remembered again the little show she'd put on and felt her cheeks flush, "Shit."

"Ellie, if I've hurt you-" his hand came to rest on her arm and she could see the way Lorcan sought her gaze, but she couldn't wade through it.

"No, Lor, you didn't hurt me," she said softly, then wrinkled her brow, "Can we sleep in my room?"

He didn't answer right away, but when he did his voice was harsher, "Until you tell me what's wrong, I'm not moving."

Elide brought a hand to her face, "Lor-"

"No, Elide," he said her full name and in that moment it didn't sound sexy or teasing, just dreadful, "you can't even look at me." and the pain, the uncertainty in his tone made her look up.

The worry in those black pools would have brought her to her knees if they were standing. At that moment, she didn't even know if she would be able to walk on her own, she doubted.

"What is it?" he pushed, taking her hands in his.

Elide bit her lip and then closed her eyes, "The sheets are wet."

She couldn't say directly what had happened.

"You mean to tell me that you'd never come- that you hadn't squirted in your life?"

Her eyes widened and his expression was completely different from what she had imagined. Only pride in what he had managed to do shone in his eyes.

"It's not- it was-" she stammered, clasping her hands together, "It wasn't the first time, but it's never happened to me with anyone else." she explained, straightening her back, "I've managed it a few times on my own, but never that hard anyway."

Lorcan chuckled, hugging her and putting one hand on her hair while the other went to stroke her back, "Ellie, it's okay."

She didn't know why she was so embarrassed, she just knew that she didn't know what he liked in bed and didn't want to fuck anything up.

They continued to talk for a while about the seemingly millions of times his magic cock had managed to make his girls squirt and Ellie proudly told of the very few times she had managed to do it on herself and it was only when the cold began to be unbearable that Lorcan got up and took her to the bathroom. He helped her clean herself, holding her upright in the shower while he wiped all traces of their orgasms from her skin with a cloth soaked in icy water.

He picked her up and carried her to her bed and handed her pyjamas and some very warm socks before leaving her alone under the covers that were much thicker and much softer than his own.

Elide was half asleep when he too crawled into bed behind her and held her to his chest until sleep claimed them both.

tog tag list (if you wanna be added or removed let me know)

@maastrash @ireallyshouldsleeprn @sleeping-and-books @ladywitchling @thegoddessofyou @ghostlyrose2 @claralady @anne-reads @sayosdreams @perseusannabeth @letstakethedawn @simping4bookboisngrls @post-it-notes33 @booksstorm @nalgenewhore @queen-of-demons-and-hell @miserablemusings @lanyjoy-13 @vasudharaghavan @cupcakey00 @bri-loves-sunflowers @queen-of-glass @thewayshedreamed @the-regal-warrior @fangirlprincess09 @januarystears

#elorcan #elide lochan #lorcan salvaterre #elorcan roommates au #tog fic #throne of glass #kingdom of ash #koa #honey

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acourtofquestions · 2 months ago

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Kingdom of Ash Chapter 62

Chapter Highlights (but let’s be real all this chapter already is)

The Crochans did not scatter to the winds.

As one, the Thirteen and the Crochans flew to the southwest, toward the outer reaches of the Fangs. To another secret camp, since the location of the other was well and truly compromised. Farther from Terrasen, but closer to Morath, at least.

A small comfort, Dorian thought, when they found a secure place to camp for the night. The wyverns might have been able to keep going, but the Crochans on their brooms could not fly for so long. They'd flown until darkness had nearly blinded them all, landing only after the Shadows and Crochans had agreed on a secure place to stay.

Watches were set, both on the ground and in the sky. If the two surviving Matrons were to retaliate for their humiliating defeat, it would be now. The Crochans and Asterin had spent much of their time today laying misleading tracks, but only time would tell if they'd escaped.

The night was frigid enough that they took the time to erect tents, the wyverns huddling together against one of the rocky overhangs.

And though no fires would have been wiser, the cold threatened to be so lethal that Glennis had taken the sacred flame from the glass orb where it was held while traveling and ignited her fire.

Others had followed suit, and while glamours would be in place to hide the camp, the fires, from enemy eyes, Dorian couldn't entirely forget that the Ironteeth Matrons had found them regardless.

Sleep had almost dragged him under when a burst of cold slithered into the tent, then vanished. He knew who it was before she sat beside his bedroll, and when he opened his eyes, he found Manon with her knees drawn up, arms braced atop them.

She stared into the dimness of his tent, the space illumined with silvery light from the glowing stars on her brow.

"You don't have to wear it all the time," he said. "We're allowed to take them off."

Golden eyes slid toward him. "I've never seen you wear a crown."

"The past few months haven't provided much access to the royal collection." He sat up.

"And I hate wearing them anyway. They dig mercilessly into my head."

A hint of a smile. "This is not so heavy."

"Since it seems made of light itself, I'd imagine not." Though that crown would weigh heavily in other ways, he knew.

"So you're talking to me," she said, not bothering to segue gracefully.

"I talked to you before."

"Is it because I am now queen?"

"You were queen prior to today."

Her golden eyes narrowed, scanning him for the answer she sought. Dorian let her do it, and returned the favor. Her breathing was steady, her posture at ease for once.

"I thought it would be more satisfying. To see her run." Her grandmother. "When you killed your father, what did you feel?"

"Rage. Hate." He didn't balk from the truth in his words, the ugliness.

She chewed on her lower lip, no sign of those iron teeth. A rare, silent admission of doubt. "Do you think I should have killed her?"

"Some might say yes. But humiliating her like that," he said, considering, "might weaken her and the Ironteeth forces more than her death. Killing her might have rallied the Ironteeth against you."

"I killed the Yellowlegs Matron."

"You killed her, spared the Blueblood witch, and your grandmother fled. That's a demoralizing defeat. Had you killed them all, even killed just your grandmother and the Yellowlegs Matron, it could have turned their deaths into noble sacrifices on behalf of the Ironteeth Clans."

She nodded, her golden eyes settling on him again with that preternatural clarity and stillness. "I am sorry," she said. "For how I spoke when I learned of your plans to go to Morath."

He was stunned enough that he just blinked.

Stunned enough that humor was his only shield as he said, "Seems like that Crochan do-gooder behavior is rubbing off on you, Manon."

A half smile at that. "Mother help me if I ever become so dull."

But Dorian's amusement faded away. "I accept your apology." He held her gaze, letting her see the truth in it.

It seemed answer enough for her. Answer, and somehow the final clue to what she sought.

Her golden eyes guttered. "You're leaving," she breathed. "Tomorrow."

He didn't bother to lie. "Yes."

It was time. She had faced her grandmother, had challenged what she'd created. It was time for him to do the same. He didn't need Damaris's confirming warmth or the spirits of the dead to tell him that.

"How?"

"You witches have brooms and wyverns. I've learned to make my own wings."

For a few breaths, she said nothing. Then she lowered her knees, twisting to face him fully. "Morath is a death trap."

"It is."

"I—we cannot go with you."

"I know."

He could have sworn fear entered her eyes.

Yet she didn't rage at him, roar at him-didn't so much as snarl. She only asked, "You're not afraid to go alone?"

"Of course I'm afraid. Anyone in their right mind would be. But my task is more important than fear, I think."

Anger flickered over her face, her shoulders tensing.

Then it faded and was replaced by something he had seen only earlier today-that queen's face. Steady and wise, edged with sorrow and bright with clarity. Her eyes dipped to the bedroll, then lifted to meet his own. "And if I asked you to stay?"

The question also took him by surprise. He carefully thought through his answer. "I'd need a very convincing reason, I suppose.

Her fingers went to the buckles and buttons of her leathers, and began to loosen them.

"Because I don't want you to go," was all she said.

His heart thundered as she revealed inch after inch of bare, silken skin. Not a seductive removal of her clothing, but rather an offer laid bare.

Manon said softly, "We could make an alliance. Between Adarlan, and the Crochans. And any Ironteeth who might follow me."

It was her answer, he realized. To his request for a convincing reason to remain.

She took his hand, and interlaced their fingers.

It was more intimate than anything they'd shared, more vulnerable than she'd ever allowed herself to be. "An alliance," she said, throat bobbing, "between you and me."

Her golden eyes lifted to his, the offer gleaming there.

To marry. To unite their peoples in the strongest, most unbreakable of terms.

"You don't want that," he said with equal quiet. "You would never want to be shackled to any man like that."

He could see the truth there, in her beautiful face. That she agreed with him. But she shook her head, the starlight dancing on her hair. "The Crochans have not offered to fly to war. I have not yet dared ask them. But if I had the strength of Adarlan beside me, perhaps they might be convinced at last."

If they had not been convinced by today's triumph, then nothing would change their minds. Even their queen offering up the freedom she craved so badly.

That Manon would even consider it, though

...

Dorian twined a wave of her silver hair around his finger. For a heartbeat, he allowed himself to drink her in.

She would be his wife, his queen. She was already his equal, his match, his mirror in so many ways. And with their union, the world would know it.

But he could see the bars of the cage that would creep closer, tighter, every day. And either break her wholly, or turn her into something neither of them wished her to ever be.

"You would marry me, all so we could aid Terrasen in this war?"

"Aelin is willing to die to end this conflict. Why should she bear the brunt of sacrifice?"

And there it was, her answer, though he knew she didn't realize it.

Sacrifice.

Dorian's other hand went to the buttons of her pants, and freed them with a few, deft maneuvers. Revealing the long, thick scar across her abdomen.

Would he have shown the restraint that Manon did today, had he faced her grandmother?

Absolutely not.

"You were right," she said quietly. "I am afraid." Manon laid her hand over his. "I am afraid that you will go into Morath and return as something I do not know. Something I shall have to kill."

"I know." Those same fears haunted his steps.

Her fingers tightened on his, pressing harder. As if she were trying to imprint his hand upon the heart racing beneath. "Would you stay here, if we had this alliance between us?" He heard every word left unspoken.

So Dorian brushed his mouth against hers. Manon let out a small sound.

Dorian kissed her again, and her tongue met his, hungry and searching. Then her hands were plunging into his hair, both of them rising onto their knees to meet halfway.

Manon drew her hands from him to remove the glittering crown atop her head, but he halted her with a phantom touch. "Don't," he said, voice near-guttural. "Leave it on."

Her eyes turned to molten gold, going heavy-lidded, tipping her head back.

His mouth went dry at the beauty that threatened to undo him, the temptation that his every instinct roared to claim. Not the body, but what she had offered.

He almost said yes, then.

Was almost selfish enough, greedy enough for her, that he nearly said yes. Yes, he would take her as his queen. So he might never have to say farewell to this, so that this magnificent, fierce witch might remain by his side for all his days.

Manon reached for him, fingers digging into his shoulders, and Dorian rose over her, finding her mouth in a plundering kiss.

A shift of her hips, and he was buried, the heated silk of her enough to make him forget that they had a camp around them, or kingdoms to protect.

Stay. The word echoed in each breath.

Dorian gave Manon what she wanted. Gave himself what he wanted. Over and over and over.

As if this might last forever.

What was left to be said anyway?

She'd laid out what she wanted. Had spoken as much of the truth as she dared voice.

In its wake, a sated sort of clarity shone.

Such as she had not felt in a long, long time.

His sapphire eyes lingered on her face, and Manon turned toward him. Slowly removed her crown of stars and set it aside.

Then she drew up the blankets around them both.

He didn't so much as flinch as she scooted closer, into the solid muscle of his body.

No, Dorian only draped an arm over her, and pulled her tightly against him.

Manon was still listening to his breathing when she fell asleep, warm in his arms.

She awoke at dawn to a cold bed.

Manon took one look at the empty place where the king had been, at the lack of supplies and that ancient sword, and knew.

Dorian had gone to Morath. And had taken the two Wyrdkeys with him.

#Chapter 62 #Kingdom of Ash #Sarah J. Maas #Manon Blackbeak #Dorian Havilliard #Manorian #The Witch Queen #Witchling #Princeling #no spoilers please #first read #read with me #read along #First Read along with me NO SPOILERS PLEASE though warning for post & tags up to KoA 62 & more reacts/notes/quotes in tags below #The news-truth-no one missing the prince?-glamours-how?-ISKRA!-oh Petrah-heavy is the head-you were already queen-I’m sorry #shooketh too dude-she’s learning-a humor shield-make my own wings-would you stay?-more important than fear-sorrow and clarity #she made an offer for love-and he didn’t take it for the same reasons-an alliance-the fight for freedom-another equal another mate #his mirror-he wouldn’t cage her-why should she bear the brunt of the sacrifice-she stayed-I am afraid of what you will become-zoyalai vibes #i know-me too-a living blade in his arms-fiercely loving-for all his days-as if forever-dammit Sarah not that again-but it grew cold #Something beautiful now in how they all fight to and them #The line-Not for her-Tired-To reach otherWhere they’d been-The queen-And her prince

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tomtenadia · 4 years ago

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A Little Braver - Chapter 12

Here we go. As promised i did not keep you waiting too long and chapter 12 has finally landed by gentle concession of Whitethorn airlines.

Be ready for angst, fluff and our Rowan in full fuss mode. I swear the man invented fussing. Also, our Iceman this time loses it. Even Fenrys is shocked by how much.

EDIt: forgot to say ATC is Air Traffic Control.

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Rowan had finished his class and went back to his office. He had given those spoiled brats a very intense training and he had taught them how a real pilot flew and was quite satisfied of his level of evilness.

He sat at his desk, grabbed his phone and noticed a text from Aelin and a smile tugged at his lips.

Not even two hours back. Crash at the airport. I guess those civilian pilots are as bad as you claim.

He laughed to start with but then terror took him. He switched on the computer and tried to find some news about Orynth. He found a newspaper and read the breaking news. There was a video taken by probably some reporters on an helicopter and he almost fell sick at the images. The article mentioned two aircrafts but he could see only one. He had a bad feeling of what could have happened. The crew zoomed in and he spotted Aelin’s engines but he could not tell apart who was on the ground. Then he saw it. The collapse. A cloud of dust and fire lifted in the sky and he hoped that none of the guys were inside.

His heart raced and pure undiluted terror as he never felt, spread through him.

Once inside Aedion had to navigate through debris and remains of the collapsed structure. The dust raised by the collapse had somehow reduced the fire and he could see around him.

“Aelin,” he called out. He walked and walked and he knew he was getting further and further from the entrance.

“Aelin… answer me, damn it.” He shouted over the silence. A few electric cables flew over him and he ducked just in time to avoid electrocution.

Then he heard it. Her PASS alarm. The one that activated when it did not sense motion for a certain amount of time. He hated that sound because it meant that one of them was in danger.

Eventually he saw her body and flames too close for comfort.

“Chief, lieutenant. I have her. Have EMTs on standby.” he shouted over the radio.

“Lieutenant, Chief, we have two water lines coming in now.”

He ran to her and fell to his knees working to clear the debris from on top of her and once free he rolled her over and noticed she was not breathing and not wearing her mask which lay abandoned at her side. His finger went to her neck and found a pulse albeit weak “She is not breathing, I need the medical team inside. Now.” He shouted over the radio with panic thick in his voice.

He gave her a few rescue breaths “please… please… don’t do this to me. Please, Aelin.”

He put his mask on her face, trying to pass some oxygen to her.

Voices broke the silence but he was too busy helping Aelin to bother to look who it was.

In a moment the rest of the team had followed inside and they were putting off the remaining fire around them, allowing the medical team to do their jobs safely.

Lysandra was on her knees in an instant. Elide was at his side and Dorian was towering over them he was the one who had taken the two women inside.

“She is not breathing and her pulse is weak.” Said Aedion, his voice cracking “Help her, please.”

Lysandra did some checks with experienced efficiency.

“I need to intubate her, Aedion remove the mask when I tell you so.”

Lysandra got ready with all her gear “now.”

With the skills of someone who had done it a million times she intubated Aelin very quickly and Elide started to press the balloon to send air in her lungs and oxygen to her body. Lysandra did a quick check and noticed her right arm bore some bad burn marks. She wrapped the wound as best as she could with temporary bandages.

“Dorian, pass me the backboard.”

Within minutes Aelin was loaded on the board and carried outside. The remaining team stopped, staring at their captain unconscious.

Rowan was following the livestream of the accident when he noticed Dorian’s holding a board with someone on and on the other side a tall blonde man: Aedion. He looked a bit better and his heart sank. His eyes recognised the body on the gurney. Her blonde hair, her long braid.

All of a sudden he forgot how to breath. He just stood there watching as the gurney that carried her was lifted into the ambulance. Aedion jumped in as well and he saw Lysandra and Elide climb in the ambulance and drive away with crazy speed and sirens wailing.

He stood slowly, as in a daze, grabbed his stuff and left. He went home, packed all his belongings and drove back to the base. As quickly as possible he filed a flight plan and not long after he was in the air. He would explain everything to the school commandant but he had to go. He had to be with her.

The flight back to Orynth seemed to last forever. He swore loudly when on approach to Orynth he was told that the airspace above the city was closed. He was furious, the airbase was so far away from the airport that it was stupid.

“Orynth main, Typhoon FF9762, I am requesting clearance for landing at the airbase, not at your stupid airport. So you let me land this plane or when I ran low on fuel I will land in the middle of the motorway and then you can deal with that.”

A moment later he got clearance for landing and when his landing gear touched down on the runaway he quickly taxied inside the hangar.

When he opened the canopy, Lorcan was there waiting for him “don’t. I don’t fucking care about the school or anything else right now.” He grabbed his bag and quickly told his engineer to perform his post flight checks. It was totally against the rules but he had no time to lose.

“Elide texted me. They took her to Orynth general. It was the closest one. She says it’s bad.”

Rowan ran out of the hangar and to his car not even bothering to change out of his jump suit, threw his stuff in the back seat and drove like a madman to the hospital. Once inside the A&E he spotted some familiar faces. Her squad was all there, waiting for an update. Rowan stopped. Then his gaze crossed Aedion’s. The man walked to him and Rowan was sure he had been crying.

“How is she? Where is she?” His voice was shaky.

“We don’t know. They took her in urgently. When I found her, she was not breathing and her oxygen tank was dead. She was unconscious when we brought her in, and with some horrible burns on her right arm.”

Rowan sat down heavily on a chair, his hands shaking visibly. They had just found each other. He could not lose her.

“I thought you were in Doranelle.” Aedion’s voice was flat and his eyes fixed on the doors where they had taken Aelin.

“Aelin sent me a text saying you guys had a call at the airport.” His hand ran nervously through his short hair “then I checked the news and there was a livestream of the accident. And I saw it. All. And when I saw you and Dorian carrying her out… I left everything and flew here with my jet. Bloody ATC almost prevented me from landing.”

“This is always the worst part.” Said Aedion sitting beside Rowan “the waiting.”

The whole group remained in silence and Rowan did the same until a doctor went to them and Aedion stood, followed by Dorian.

“I have an update on the captain. Her condition is critical. She suffered serious internal injuries from the collapse and they are being treated now. Her right arm has some severe burns and again they are now being treated to avoid infection. Her oxygen levels are still below the normal parameters. During surgery she has coded twice, but we got her back. As soon as the team is done with her we will move her to the ICU. We need to keep her under strict control. She could still develop acute respiratory syndrome. She will stay intubated and heavily sedated.” Then the doctor turned to Aedion “I will let you know when you can see her.” And with that he walked away.

“Everyone, return to the station. We are still on duty.” Aedion ordered his men. They gave him a hug and asked to keep them posted. He knew that it had been very hard for them to obey him. They all wanted to be there for her but slowly they filed out leaving him alone with Rowan.

Dorian patted his shoulder “I will stay with them at the station.” And he left with the rest of the squad.

“The scene at the airport seemed terrifying.”

“It was,” said Aedion in a flat tone “the small plane got reduced to smithereens. How the fuck that happened?”

Rowan sighed, he had an idea “possibly a mistake by ATC. They probably directed the smaller aircraft on the wrong runaway and the big plane landed and just crashed on it, then lost control, probably lost its landing gear and just slammed into the hangar bay.”

“How do you know?”

“Watching the live of the news. You could see that the bigger aircraft was on a landing trajectory from its heading. Also, it was on the runaway that Orynth airport uses for landing. The smaller craft was totally in the wrong runaway.”

“Well, it was a mess.”

“Did you manage to save anyone?”

Aedion nodded “all the people in the big aircraft. As soon as we arrived Aelin told us to keep an eye on the wings for fuel. The aircraft exploded but not before we managed to evacuate the passengers. Manon and Asterin saved two of the civilians by hiding in the cockpit.” He sighed “Aelin saved four.”

Rowan chuckled “she took two of my books one on flight theory and the one on airplanes in general.”

“That is why she knew about fuel being in the wings.”

Rowan nodded with pride “Aelin and I… we are working on things. On us. I…” he lowered his head “I care about her… a lot.”

Aedion leaned back on the chair and removed his fire jacket, remaining in his t-shirt “she can be difficult and believe me there is no one but me who knows just how much. I grew up with her. She is my cousin after all, but I always loved her like a sister. But Aelin has the bad habit of saying what she thinks and we had so many fights because of that. She can be a brat, but together with Lys they are the two most important women in my life.”

Rowan smiled briefly at Aedion’s description of Aelin. It was perfect.

“I proposed to Lys.” Confessed the blonde man.

Rowan slapped him hard on the shoulder “that is an incredible news. Congratulation, man.”

“I thought it was time. Lys and I have been together for three years and I love her.”

Rowan was about to add something when they saw the doctor approach them.

“Aedion, you can see her now.” The man stood and gestured to Rowan to follow him.

“Family only.” Said the doctor when he noticed Rowan stand.

“He is coming as well, Sorscha. And if anyone has any problems, they can take it up with me.”

The woman lifted her hands in yielding gesture “She is on the sixth floor in the ICU, room 46.”

“Thank you.”

“Are you all this friendly with doctors?”

“We visit hospitals a lot.” He added sadly.

Aedion walked to the stairs and Rowan chuckled “not you too…”

“What?”

“What’s with you guys and lifts?”

Aedion laughed “you posh boy can take the metal trap. I am walking.”

Rowan huffed and followed Aedion up the stairs. He was not letting an army guy beat him. He had pride.

Rowan pushed to keep up with Aedion and by the time they reached the sixth floor his legs were killing him, the man in front of him had kept a brutal pace, probably on purpose.

In silence they reached the room and Rowan pulled aside “you go in first, you are family.”

Aedion nodded and Rowan sat down on the chairs outside the room. Thing was… he needed time. He was scared of what he would see on the other side of the door. He was terrified. She was the one with the scary job. He was the one who knew how to fly away from danger and avoid being shot out of the sky. She, on the other hand, she would willingly face a fire to save people. Getting involved with her meant going through the hell he was living now. He fought it for as long as he could. But somehow along the way he had fallen for her pretty badly. He closed his eyes and leaned his head against the wall.

Much later on he felt a hand on his shoulder “you can go in now.”

Rowan turned his head to the door and his heart sank. Then he stood and mustered all the courage he had to open the door and step in.

The room was silent apart from the steady beeping sounds of the machines monitoring her heartbeat and the hush sound of the ventilator pumping air in her lungs. He froze and closed the door behind him. He stared at her immobile body. With all the cables and tubes and machinery, she seemed so small in the hospital bed.

He finally took a step closer and sat down on the chair beside her.

“Hi,” his voice broken as he felt tears streak down his cheek. Gently he brushed the tip of the fingers on her right hand and noticed the heavy bandaging on the whole arm.

“You scared the shit out of me.” He whispered, his head leaning on the bed near her hand “A part of me wants to bolt because I am not sure I can take it. But the other side tells me not to. Tells me that the recklessness, you fierceness and bravery are why I am so damn crazy about you.” He stood and paced back and forth “the idea of losing you paralyses me with fear.” He took a step backward with fear gripping his heart “I can’t do this. I am so sorry. I just can’t.”

He ran out of the door but Aedion blocked him “that was quick.”

“I can’t…”

Aedion’s face morphed into pure rage and grabbed Rowan’s jump suit by the collar “oh yes you can. I told you before, posh boy. You break her heart and I break you.”

Rowan collapsed exhausted on the chair and took his head in his hands “I can’t… I can’t go through that hell a second time.”

“What to you mean?” Asked the blonde man.

Rowan looked up and met Aedion’s eyes. So much like Aelin’s. They could have easily been twins.

“The pain…” he paused “I can’t deal with that pain again. Losing Aelin would break me definitely. And at the same time I can’t leave her for the same reason. I need her in my life. She might be infuriating but at the same time I am mad about her.”

“Then you have your answer.” Said Aedion flatly.

Rowan stood and Aedion placed his body in front of him.

“I am not bolting. I need to go home, shower, clear my head and I will be back.”

“You bolt, and I will find you.”

Rowan raised his hands and walked away in silence.

He got home, dumped his bag near the bed and shed his clothes on his way to the bathroom. Opened the water and dove under the jet, the water hot to the point of being painful. He stood there. Eyes closed and head bowed. Realising that the water would not be able to wash away the shame of him almost walking out on her like a coward. Again. He was not as brave as he thought. When it came to his feelings he was a disaster. But there was deep terror in him, to a level that he never experienced not even with a missile trained on him. He had almost lost her and at the thought he struggled to breath for a moment. He leaned against the wall and allowed the tears to flow, he allowed himself to cry and let his fears go for a moment. He could not believe that in a matter of few months she had become so important that the thought of losing her would break him this much. He breathed deeply and tried to regain some focus.

Quickly, he washed himself and then walked out with a towel around his waist and padded to the bed to grab his phone. He called the commandant of the school in Doranelle and explained him what happened, why he had to leave all of a sudden and most of all why he was not going back. The man was not happy and he was going to catch hell from Lorcan as well but he did not care. He had given up too much of his life to the force. Now it was his turn to be selfish and put his life before duty.

As expected Lorcan called him not long after and he was now on his way to see his CO in nothing but jeans, a polo shirt and a black leather jacket and a pair of sunglasses. If he had to piss off Lorcan better do it properly.

He knocked once in front of his door and the grumpy tone of the man of the other side told him to enter. He saluted lazily and definitely did not miss Lorcan’s stare of disapproval at him appearing in front of his CO in civilian clothes.

“You seem to have misplaced your uniform.”

“No sir, definitely at home in my wardrobe.”

Lorcan growled his disapproval “I got an interesting call from the commandant of the school in Doranelle. He says that you resigned your post. That you have no intention of going back.”

“That is correct,” and Rowan sat down although Lorcan did not give him permission to do so.

Lorcan threw a folder on his desk “and I got a complaint from ATC saying that you breached airspace lockdown last night and threatened to land on a motorway if they didn’t let you land.”

“That was bullshit on their part. The airbase is on the opposite side of the city compared to the airport. There was no risk for me to get anywhere close to the airport. They were aware of my flight plan and my heading. It was total bullshit.”

“Well, now I have to deal with an irate traffic control supervisor and an outraged commandant at a school with which we have been cooperating for years.”

Rowan shrugged in challenge “not my problem.”

“No Whitethorn, you are the fucking problem.”

“Then suspend me, like I give a fuck.” Rowan leaned back in the chair and stared outside ignoring Lorcan’s tantrum.

“You broke aviation rules with that stunt of yours last night and before that you put your personal life before duty.”

Rowan bolted on his feet “I am so fucking tired of sacrificing my life for duty. I did it so much that when my wife died I was on the other side of the continent and I was given a couple of days of leave to go to her funeral and then was ordered to haul ass back to my post as if nothing happened and like the good obedient soldier I was, I even thanked you all for giving me two days to mourn.” He shouted, not caring if he was being disrespectful to a superior “I gave the airforce twelve years of my life, no questions asked. And all of a sudden I am not sure if I want to keep doing it.”

“Is she really worth it? Is that woman really worth giving up on your career?”

Rowan moved dangerously close and leaned on the desk with his hands “she is worth more that you cold-hearted bastard can ever imagine.”

Lorcan stood “get your arse out of my office, captain Whitethorn. You are suspended for a month.”

“Good.” Said Rowan and walked out slamming the door not bothering saluting Lorcan or add anything.

On his way out he met his squadron “what are you doing back in Orynth?” Asked Gavriel surprised.

“Getting my arse suspended for a month apparently.”

“What the fuck?” Fenrys stared at him in disbelief. That was something that he would do. He could not believe that Lorcan had just suspended Rowan. The man was a stickler for protocol and rules to a fault.

“Broke aviation rules last night by landing during an airspace lockdown. Ticked off ATC big time. And before that I left my post in Doranelle without telling anything to anyone.”

“Who are you and what have you done with Iceman?” Asked Connall.

“Aelin.” Was his answer “she was at the disaster at the airport last night. She is in bad condition. I had to come back.” He sighed “then Lorcan gave me a dressing down for putting a woman before duty and I might have pissed him off to historical levels. I would stay clear of him today.”

“And he suspended you.”

“Yes,” confirmed Rowan and the rest of the team almost noticed relief in his eyes.

“But you are coming back, right?” Rowan noticed sadness in Gavriel’s eyes. The two had been friends for a long time. And although he could not care less about Lorcan, he felt as if he was betraying his team mates.

“I don’t know… I might.” He said not convinced “A month away might do me well. I am not sure right now.”

“How’s Aelin?” Vaughan had the guts to ask the question no one could voice.

Rowan’s hands fisted “she is in bad shape. Intubated and sedated. When Aedion found her she was not breathing. She has bad burn on her right arm and plenty of other injuries. She was buried under the collapse of the hangar after she tried to save some people trapped inside.”

“Damn, the woman is badass.” Fenrys patted Rowan’s shoulder “when you go to the hospital, tell her that we are rooting for her too.”

He covered the young man’s hand with his “will do.” Then he straightened “now I better go, before Lorcan comes through and punishes all of you just for speaking with me.”

“Keep in touch, please,” added Gavriel.

Rowan winked and left and once he finally stepped outside of the perimeter of the airbase his soul felt lighter.

He reached the hospital not long after and found her room empty, her team was probably at work and he was glad he could have some time with her.

“Hi menace,” Rowan sat down and brushed a kiss on her forehead “are you enjoying your nap?” His finger gently flicked her nose and he sat back down “I got suspended for a month… I guess I broke a few rules to be with you.” His finger brushed hers emerging from the heavy bandage “and I epically ticked off a few people, but it was so worth it.” He squeezed her fingers “you are totally worth it.” He then stood and started walking around the room making adjustments. He fixed the blinds so there was some sun in the room, he tucked her properly in bed, almost afraid she could be cold. He fixed the flowers on her nightstand and made sure they had water. And finally he sat down on her bed and slowly undid her braid, brushed her hair and braided it again.

“I am sorry I left this morning, I… was overwhelmed.” He sat back down on the chair “I am not leaving. Not unless you want me to.” He grabbed her hand again but then he heard the door open and he sat straight.

“Hi,” said Lysandra and Elide in unison.

“We just dropped off some patients and we came in to see her.”

Rowan stood and with his hand he offered his spot to the two women.

“I thought you were away.” Said Lysandra, walking close to her friend and depositing a gentle kiss on her forehead.

“I was, and then I saw the disaster and I flew back and got myself suspended for it, but I don’t care.”

Lysandra was about to comment but he stopped her “I had to be here for her. I have no regrets.” His head then turned to Elide “you might want to stay clear of Lorcan for a few days. I ticked him off big time and the man might be a bit furious at the time.”

“Oh, okay,” the woman said timidly.

“I am sure that one of your smile will fix the mood of that poor old bastard.” Lysandra’s comment made him laugh.

“She just went in…” Lysandra’s voice was now a whisper and she sniffled turning her back from the other two occupants “she always does this type of crazy thing. Dorian was furious.”

A memory appeared in Rowan’s mind and his words were out before he could stop them “are they involved?”

He heard the woman chuckle “No. Dorian is in love with her and that is no secret. He was her captain when she was at west. But she always saw him as nothing but a friend. Also he is the chief and she a captain, so nothing can happen. They are really good friends, but no, nothing ever happened.”

A selfish part of him relaxed.

Lysandra’s radio went off and she groaned “come on Elide, back to work.”

Rowan waved them goodbye and went back to his chair.

***

Ten days had passed and the season had slowly turned and spring was now in full force.

Rowan was standing at the hospital window, looking outside towards the Staghorn mountains. The tops had officially lost their snow. He inhaled the fresh air and closed the window again. That room had become his new home in the past ten days. He had left only to go home and get changed and washed, but apart from that he had kept a tight vigil on her. They guys at the station had to work and he had been more than happy to keep her company. He was out of a job for the time being, anyway. He turned around and walked to the bed. Nothing had changed. She was still intubated and still unconscious. The doctor had raised concerns with regards to the damage her lungs had suffered and a neurologist had confirmed that her responses were within normal parameters and that they were expecting her to wake up soon. In the last few days they had noticed an increased cerebral activity which according to the doctors was a good sign. He sat down again beside her and went back to the book he had been reading to her. As a joke between the two of them he had started reading flight manuals, or any of any of his books about flying. He had read her other books as well and all the possible articles about their amazing rescue at the airport. Rowan had spent so much time at the hospital that all the nurses knew him and helped him every time he had a request for them to make her more comfortable. He had brought more comfortable pillows, had decorated the wall of her room with all the cards she got from the different fire stations and from west, together with the ones of the four people she save in the hangar. With his mobile he had played classical music for her and a few times he had played an opera as well and joked that they finally got that date after all. His past ten days had been dedicated to nothing else but her. He was humming away a tune from the last opera he had played, while tucking her bed sheets properly when he brushed her hand and felt it move. It was a subtle movement but he felt it. Rowan kept humming and this time the motion was much clearer.

“Aelin…” her middle finger lifted by a fraction and Rowan laughed.

“Are you giving me the middle finger even when you sleep? You are such a brat.” He leaned forward and kissed her forehead “Can you hear me?” He whispered near her ear.

His gaze returned to her hand and this time he noticed her clearly trying to bend her fingers.

Rowan sat down beside her and stroked her cheek once more “Aelin… it’s me.”

A tiny flutter of her eyelashes had his heart race madly in his chest. And when her blue eyes finally set on him he gave her a big smile “it was abut time, there was no need to get into a fire and almost get yourself killed if you needed a nap.”

Aelin groaned and he noticed the middle finger in her left hand rise sightly. Rowan roared in laughter. Then she lifted the same hand and went for the tube in her mouth.

“Hold on, you are still intubated. Let me go and call the doctor.” He disappeared outside of the room and came back with her doctor a moment later. He extubated her and the procedure looked very unpleasant. Aelin coughed heavily but the doctor reassured him it was normal and then left the two alone.

Rowan grabbed a glass of water on the nightstand and helped her. He lifted her a bit and pressed the glass against her lips “drink a little.”

She drank eagerly and then collapsed back on the pillow exhausted. Rowan sat at her left side and brushed her head gently with his hand “are you in pain?”

With a small movement she shook her head. Rowan looked at the bags with liquids hanging behind her and noticed they still had plenty of stuff in them. She was hooked on painkillers and antibiotics and had a feeding tube down her nose.

“You… here.” She managed with difficulty. Although she was breathing on her own the doctor had warned him that some issues might take longer to heal. The smoke and the fuel fumes had battered her lungs pretty badly and that it was why after extubation, the doctor had placed small oxygen tubes in her nose.

“That I am.” he took her hand in his “after your text complaining about civilian pilots I had a look at the news and they were showing the inferno at the airport.” He stopped, he would never forget that horrible scene “when I saw Dorian and Aedion carrying you out I realised I could not stay there any longer. Long story short, I broke a few rules, pissed off a few people and got suspended, but I am where I am meant to be.”

“Suspended?”

Rowan nodded solemnly “Turns out that even if he has a girlfriend, Lorcan is still a cold-hearted bastard. I have no regrets.”

Aelin sighed and her breath came out ragged “squad.”

“They are all fine and they miss you. Aedion has been playing captain and he hates it and Dorian has been helping a lot as well. They are on shift now but they came and visit a lot.”

She was about to say something else but a brutal cough hit her and she was left exhausted and wheezing and he pulled her to him. It destroyed him seeing her like that.

He shifted the pillows behind her and allowed Aelin to be in a semi sit position, hoping that would make breathing much easier than lying down. He sat beside her, pulled an arm around her shoulder and dragged her closer to him “Aedion proposed to Lys.”

“Know.”

“There is no pleasing you, young lady. I assume Lys has told you.”

Aelin smiled at him and nodded.

His phone buzzed in his pocket and when he removed it he realised it was Lorcan. The man had tried to phone him all morning but he had refused every single call.

Rowan sighed heavily and Aelin looked up at him with a worried expression.

“I almost resigned.” His forehead touching hers “then I didn’t because of duty and all that shit. When they carried you out I lost it. Nothing else mattered but being here for you. Screw rules and regulations.”

She turned her head and deposited a kiss on his lips “thank you for being here.” She managed with great difficulty.

***

With spring in full swing, Orynth was covered in colours from flowers all around the city. The air smelled sweet and warm.

Aelin inhaled the fresh air and after almost a month in the hospital she felt alive again. Rowan lifted her in his arms and slowly carried her to her house. Her legs were still shaky and she was still weak. Her recovery was taking longer than expected. The doctors had put her through a respiratory therapy, but at times she still felt short of breath. Rowan dropped her off on the sofa and went to get their stuff. He had made a deal with her and he would stay with her until she was better. He still had four days before his suspension was over. He had been at her side since she woke up and the nurses had told her that even when she was still unconscious, Rowan had barely left her side.

Her mind went back to when he told her he could be very caring for the people he loved and he had showed her that over and over again.

“Here we go.” He dumped all the bags in the living room and then went to the bedroom and Aelin had a feeling he was preparing so that it was up to his standards.

“The bed is ready, your highness.”

He fussed. He fussed a lot but she realised she had started to love that side of him.

“Does it meet your standards, captain?”

He grinned “I don’t think is grandiose enough.”

“I will make sure I’ll upgrade my living standards to accommodate a posh boy like yourself. I doubt an army guy will fuss. Aedion never did.”

“They have no standards to begin with.”

Aelin threw a pillow at him but Rowan ducked in time and an instant later she was in the air and he dumped her on the bed with little ceremony.

He leaned forward and kissed her “now get changed,” he ordered and threw her her bed clothes.

“Yes, sir. At your orders sir,” she mocked him with a funny salute.

He shook his head “you civilians really have no respect for rank.”

She stood on her knees in bed and shed the top she was wearing and removed her bra as well, remaining bare.

He was busy emptying her bag that when he turned and saw her semi naked he almost tripped on the dropped top.

“My girls here feel lonely,” she palmed her breasts in a very sensual way

Rowan ignored her and passed her the pyjama top “It seems like you are doing a good job at keeping them busy.”

She slapped him with her t-shirt and got dressed again “I’d better get covered again, I don’t want to traumatise you.” She was about to add something else but a fit of coughing stopped her. Rowan was at her side in a moment and held her, knowing that it would usually leave her spent. The fits had become less frequent as she improved but the occasional one was enough to leave her breathless and this one seemed to be one of those. She grabbed his arm and squeezed it “hurts,”Aelin complained fisting her hand in his chest while concentrating on breathing. Rowan grabbed the inhaler she had been prescribed to use during an attack. She did as she had been shown by the doctors and then melted in his arms.

“Lie down.”

“Open…” she started but the coughing resumed and her hand fisted in the bed sheets this time. She grabbed the inhaler and breathed its medicines again, feeling air rushing back in her lungs. Eventually she collapsed in bed exhausted “Window…” she finally finished.

Rowan moved with speed and did as told. Aelin loved the spring air and even at the hospital she often asked him for the window to be open. It made her feel as if she could breath.

He moved her to the centre of the bed and covered with the blankets “do you feel like eating something?”

“No,” she said weakly and he knew she was not well. In the short time he had known her, Aelin had never refused a meal “Sleep,” his hand brushed her hair and she was asleep within minutes.

Once he was positive she was asleep he walked out and gently closed the door and went to the kitchen to make a phone call. Lorcan had been pestering him almost every day but Rowan had ignored him.

“The dutiful captain finally decides to phone back, or should I call you nurse Whitethorn now?”

Rowan growled and almost closed the call again, then decided to count till ten and listen what he had to say.

“Say your piece Salvaterre and let me go.”

“I want you to march back through these doors in four days.”

Rowan pinched the bridge of his nose. How could he leave her alone?

“A please from time to time doesn’t hurt.”

“Whitethorn, I don’t give a fuck if your firefighter woman made you a well mannered soldier. I am your superior and if I give you an order I expect you to answer with yes, sir. Another peep from you and you get your arse written up for insubordination and you can kiss your career goodbye.”

Rowan had to punch something, but a loud noise could wake up Aelin and he wanted to avoid that. So he just hung up the phone without giving Lorcan a reply then he grabbed a pillow and screamed into it. Once he was done he grabbed his laptop from his bag and set in motion his next plan.

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