#assroch

[patheticpaprika]

Sending me writing requests!! 🥺 ❤️

No promises they will be written because I'm a disabled college student with a flighty attention span but I desperately need to write things rn and I have no ideas lol

Fandoms I write for:

-The Magnus Archives

-Good Omens

-Spideypool

-Hazbin Hotel

-Brimstone Valley Mall

-Ace Attorney

-DnD Honor Among Thieves

-The Glass Scientists (Mayhaps)

-And occasionally original works!

There's probably more that I forgor but yuhh

P.S My ask anon is on if you're shy :]

AO3: @PatheticPaprika

[asmoshoebox]

it's 2004. gay marriage has just been legalized in one (1) u.s. state: massachusetts. misroch, increasingly at odds with the law due to being a terrible liar, an even worse driver, and an inveterate "we could just kill him like we did that other guy!" murder enthusiast, is coming perilously close to an arrest warrant, and they know this.......which is why it's time to apply for a marriage license with the biggest risk to misroch's infosec since sliced bread.

[captainjimothy]

i log onto tumblr. i write 400+ enthusiastically horny and rambling words. i receive one (1) reblog. my work here is done

[asmoshoebox]

i keep turning aromantic misroch over in my mind. i want it to work but i don't feel it's really supported by the text. like, sure, you can say "misroch would be fine if they were asmo's primary sexual partner and had less insecurity, they don't actually want romance or monogamy" but that really requires you to reinterpret SO much of their behavior as just internalized amatonormativity that would dissolve if they were simply more comfortable, secure, whatever. and that feels disingenuous, not least because i don't think demons have amatonormativity lmao. part of bvm's demonic culture is that it's loudly supportive of everything sinful, and disgusted by things considered morally good. which leads me to read misroch's desire for romance and exclusivity as traits that would be punished in demons. traits that might get you ostracized or discriminated against, perhaps, because they're not sinful.

idk. like i said. i really want aromantic misroch to work. mostly because i'm aro and despise romance. but there's definitely an interesting story to tell with allo misroch and aromantic asmoraius (a reading that would be almost explicitly canon if not for his exchange with trent in the finale, and imo that can be explained in a variety of ways without invalidating the aro interpretation)

ooooooooooo OR an aromantic TRENT

now that would be interesting. trent is new, he doesn't necessarily know how to categorize his feelings, and he has absolutely been fed the heavenly amatonormativity--so yes, it makes total sense that he might default to interpreting his feelings as romantic, especially if this is his first time on earth and his first time experiencing any emotions outside of the ultimate love of heaven.

this makes misroch's jealousy hilariously one-sided, and makes me think that asmo's line about love is entirely due to trent's influence, and gives us an opportunity to write trent being like. wait. what the fuck even is love anyway because all i really want to do is chill with you getting groceries and stuff. i dont even necessarily want sex out of it i just like being your friend.

and then asmoraius responding to that with. well. first, the quiet devastation he gets when someone points out he has value outside of his sexuality. and then with an unexpected relief because he didn't know what to do with the prospect of real romance at all--playing romance with humans is one thing, but with a fellow immortal, well, then it would stop being a game and he'd have to admit that he doesn't like it when it's real.

WHICH BTW is part of why misroch is so fucking upset by asmo's fling with trent, because misroch HATES to see it treated like a game. like

you want this so deeply, and you had it, briefly, until it was revealed to be an act that the other person was doing for fun and to make you happy. so you're devastated because you thought it was real but in fact it had turned into something that hurt him, so you break up but manage to be friends still... and then, years later, you have to watch him do it again with someone else? the same act, the same game, so FUN and joyful and lighthearted for him, but ONLY because it's not real!

because the moment it becomes real (the thing you want so much it makes you sick to think about) it becomes a specialized torment nexus for him. which can only mean that there is something wrong with you, in particular, that there is something about who you are inherently that causes him to suffer. is that fucked up or what? hi i'm rod serling,

[asmoshoebox]

you weren't wondering what asmoraius tastes like, but that's okay, because i was. here u go

he tastes like green wheat in the sun, like the hot damp earth painting their knotted fingers, like fresh sweat on old linen

he tastes like fall, sticky figs and honey in the corners of his lips, the wine on his breath a libation over their offered flesh

he tastes like salt and oil, red fruit juices on his cheek, gristle and spice between his teeth

he tastes like human-bacon grease and cherry chapstick, until his lip splits under their teeth, spilling fire and copper and brimstone over their tongue

he tastes like shampoo and vaseline, hairspray and lipstick, like a dirty knife with the silver and steel hooked through his mouth

he tastes like sleep, like rain, like beer, like blood, like the dmv carpet, like misroch's office chair, like cigarettes in bed, like a G flat major chord

like nothing else

[asmoshoebox]

ofcourse i have. seven. brimstone valley mall playlists. a normal and usual number to have

[asmoshoebox]

outlining some. concepts. i thiink i hauve covid

[asmoshoebox]

welcome to asmo's shoebox, the one he keeps under his bed with a photo of misroch sleeping with their eyes open :)

this blog is 18+ and nsfw: expect horror, blood/gore, death, and sexual content (harder than canon-typical)

(if you'd like to scream with us in an all-ages environment, check out the bvm discord!)

i'm caius, but you can also call me shoebox or sweet thing, to fill in for all those pronouns you won't be using for me. i'm gay, aromantic, kinky, and (sadly) employed--so the art/fic i wanna make will happen very, very slowly.

here's a goth radio station i like:

[asmoshoebox]

if misroch is a festering wound, asmoraius is the water that cools the skin around it.

if misroch is a sick and bleeding dog, asmoraius is the wind that brings fresh air to its nose.

he is the flower in the pavement, he is the dappled sunlight on their aching back, he is the bowl on the doorstep and the man who put it there and the sleep that comes with a full belly, gone with the morning light but no less comforting for his transience

misroch as a festering wound btw. misroch as a sick dog limping into the corner to bleed. misroch flinching at the offered aid, misroch turning away from the offered food, misroch biting the hand that reaches out into the dark for them. if you even care

[asmoshoebox]

yes hi hello i have a ted talk about misroch's fucked up narrative position relative to Carp Ass Sinus

yeah yeah they're similar personalities but that wouldnt mean anything except asmoraius literally pointed it out and then you look at how misroch sees themselves, how misroch sees carp-man, how other people see misroch, and how misroch's whole persona drastically changes when interacting with carpassinus?

list of talking points to cover, in no particular order:

okay so iirc my original point (i first drafted this like 8 months ago in someone's DMs) was that misroch hates themselves and carpassinus with equal vitriol-- and equal fear. whether the insecurities are a result of carp's presence or existed prior, the point remains that, in the show, they are deeply intertwined. the things that people are constantly telling misroch to stop doing (being rude and patronizing) are also the things that misroch lists as reasons why they hate carpassinus; and asmo makes the parallel explicitly with i'm a sucker for a demon with an agenda.

the fear part is wrt misroch's acute awareness of and adherence to social hierarchy, and this manifests in constant vigilance and punishment which is (a) something the other band members do not show most of the time, and (b) something that carpassinus DOES show, and causes the other band members to show, when they're being interrogated, which (c) heavily implies that it's an aspect of life in hell that the other band members have actively worked to forget or disavow! (given the size of hell, of course, i'd believe some subcultural variations, with different regions upholding the social hierarchy to different degrees. e.g. it makes sense that kitchens get the worst of it (this is true on earth too), and it makes sense that the sex dungeons would have a more playful, subversive, intentional relationship with the hierarchy (this is also true on earth) which makes asmo's perspective on power dynamics and platonic friendships make a lot of in-universe sense!)

(as a complete side note, i think you can isolate the normal line cook shoutiness from the insecure condescension-- and i also think both of those things are at high water mark during the show's timeline because it's an incredibly stressful week lol. (the first episode is before things get too stressful so that's my benchmark for like. Normal Misroch behavior. yeah they're shouty and mean but they also have a nice time in the parking lot afterwards.))

anyway. back to the point, the dissonance misroch is struggling with here comes, at least in part, from the fact that they know they're similar to carpassinus, and they know (or think they know) that everyone fucking hates him, so logical conclusion = everyone must fucking hate them too. self-hatred would channel into further bitterness towards carp (hence their bitterness being higher than the others) which feeds further self-hatred etc vicious cycle. i could probably explain this better but it's late

another side note, i am. ugh. always. so fuckign curious about misroch's underlying personality. like. when you get past the insecurity, i feel like you get a very intelligent, very kind person, with a very subtle and cunning sense of humor. not, perhaps, the nicest person in the world, but like. compassionate. also: methodical. so fucking precise and detailed. they know what health codes are and how to do income taxes for small businesses. i've done small business taxes, that shit sucks.

anyway anyway in conclusion uh. i love them <3

[asmoshoebox]

lowkey gonna b thinking about trentblas all day at work tmrw. the fucken. listen. theyre like assroch's funhouse mirror type of foil. they are so opposites in personality and motives and how they view themselves, but they will orbit each other like two cows in a tornado are you listening. are you listening to me

[captainjimothy]

actually i might as well make a real list of WIPs i could feasibly finish this year

ST: garashir postcanon

ST: obrien polycule postcanon

ST: the voyeur scene

ink: silverfinger missing scenes

ER: my boy gwydion and the bloody, smutty tale of house hoslow

those are the ones i really don't want to roll over into next year, and have a solid start on already. there is also the wheel of short smutty ones i can spin when i want some variety, incl but not limited to:

ST: garashir masturbation

ST: garashir miscommunication & manhandling

ST: miles/julian

ST: keiko/kira

ST: kira/garak (trust me on this one)

BVM: assroch Y2K eve

BVM: assroch new york (and sequel)

uhhhh several others i cant recall off the top of my head

on the fence about whether i even want to continue these:

ST: plot-heavy ezri fix-it (deeply love ezri. deeply hate a lot of the writing. free my worm xe deserved better)

ST: some form of elaboration on all of my kira thoughts. i dont even know how id approach this but i do want to communicate if i can.... augh

ST: dissertation on cardassian anatomy that requires researching reptilian evolutionary biology and is way too much work for someone who flunked out of college lmfao

ST: odo wish fulfillment (killing mora)

ST: cardassian civilian oc (thinly veiled metaphor for america, purpose: to process current events)

SW: bail/breha/obiwan (i consistently start 1-3 star wars fics every year and finish <1 on average, so id like to get through this one bc it's hot but on some level idc anymore...but i do care....)

the big thing that's definitely getting pushed into '25 is the Captain LaForge AU, since the concept there is to work on it as im watching TNG. but im super excited for it and ive already outlined the Farpoint segment hehe

[captainjimothy]

i have now read all of the *checks notes* worforge (which is the coolest ship name in the world btw, dethroning assroch by about 2 points on the fuckyeahmeter) available on ao3.

please prepare yourselves for me to make worforge my entire personality as i progress through TNG. that is all.

watching the amogus episode (TNG 1.7) we're starting off strong with the long dress uniforms and putting worf and geordi in a room together. i didn't realize worf was so young in TNG i only know him from ds9 after his character has had time to be written better lmao