#assassins on vacation

[rebellionmoon]

Beach Day with Illumi Zoldyck ☀️🏖️

Even assassins deserve a vacation! Join Illumi and Psyche, husband and wife, as they kick back, relax, terrorize the locals and enjoy the splendors of the beach and eachother <3 [ illumixoc, sfw, fluffy drabble]

The best treasures to find at the beach are in the ocean! Illumi loves snorkeling and seeing what surprises await him down below. Psyche will be reading her book, The Captain and I, then look up to see illumi diving into the water, then moments later emerge with a crab captured in his mouth, its pinching his nose but illumi doesn't mind.

'You're mine." Illumi says to everything he catches.

Illumi periodically comes out of the water, long black hair dripping down his back, while carefully cupping a lil sea creature in his hands. It's a hermit crab! He loves showing them to his wife, and after respectful observation they put the little hermit crab in a mini beach aquarium. Illumi is collecting friends!

Illumi tells Psyche fun marine facts, such as that hermit crabs are rappers, no, not the Drake kind.

Illumi stares. All you see is the top of his head and a pair of big, black unblinking shiny eyes peeking above the water's surface. He's waiting for Psyche to wave at him. When she does, he smiles. Satisfied, then he dives back in again, on the hunt for more friends!

"It's beautiful! Psyche, it's beautiful!" Illumi will keep calling Psyche to swim with him until she comes. He is relentless about having a damn fun time with his love.

Did Illumi say swimming? Oh no, he actaully meant cradling his wife in his arms and spinning her around in the water. Kissing her forehead as she lays her head on his chest.

She asks him to throw her in the incoming waves (he does) and make believe she's being sacrficied to a sea monster that's terrorizing the local and provincial fishing village (illumi's the monster.)

Ok, now they're swimming. It's a race to the buoys! Illumi has an affinity for competition, so that means swimming at the speed of a torpedo and Psyche gets swept up in the currents. kawabunga

Where did Illumi go!? Pyche can't see him anywhere! Suddenly, something nibbles at her leg.

It's a trap! It's Illumi. nom nom nom nom. He likes to bite. And tease his wife. He did say he was her make believe sea monster.

A good wife buries her husband---in the sand, silly! And silly he indded looks as a sand man. This moment will look lovely in their newly wed scrapbook. Uh oh, just as Psyche went to grab her phone, Illumi vanished.

Psyche peers into the tunnel he dug below. She hoped he went to get her snacks. Burying bodies always makes her hungry.

Not too far away, Illumi emerges from the sand, beneath a sand castle. Children run away screaming. Psyche pouts. He's nowhere near the snack bar. She points, he obeys and digs onward. He must provide for his family.

Psyche names the crabs in the aquarium, and witness them rap, knock on, a better hermit crab's shell to steal. This is rapping. *Psyche busies herself breaking up hermit crab fights* 'friends don't fight. Oh, you're naughty, to the far end of the aquarium with you.'

Screams ahead! Beach umbrellas are suddenly toppling over and popping out from the sand. Is it aliens?? Or a freaky goblin man (ILLUMI, STOP. PSYCHE, GO, HURRY, COLLECT YOUR HUSBAND)

"Psyche, it's everywhere!" Illumi says, spitting sand out of his mouth. Sand is not dirt. Sand does not behave like dirt, doesn't stay out of his eyes, nose, ears, nor mouth like dirt. Psyche doesn't know how surprised he should have been, digging underground tunnels across at least half the span of the beach.

Psyche cracks open a can of beer. Pssh, one beer will not make her drunk.

But several can and does. *Psyche gets drunk and starts talking to strangers like they're life long family friends and proceeds to tell harrowing, hair raising details about her assassin family that she thinks is funny*

*Illumi throws Psyche over his shoulder and carries her back, shushing all the secrets she wishes to tell strangers with chocolate gelato* 'Haha please don't call the coastguard. have a nice day!'

They hold hands and walk along the shore, collecting seashells. They'll braid them into eachothers hair later. Illumi likes it when Psyche fumbles into him, he gets to catch her and hold her longer.

Time to release (the captured) sea friends back into the ocean. Goodbye friends! Illumi will befriend (catch) you another day!

They cuddle together under a blanket and watch the sunset. He whispers something in her ear and she giggles and kisses him. Lips, cheeks, nose, forehead. Oh my. All of him is so kissable.

He's so happy to be her husband.

Psyche and Illumi's marriage is part of my fanfic WHERE SHADOWS TOUCH. Atm, I just wanted to write a fluffy, summer story because the fic is all angst rn XD

[littlefankingdom]

I knew that Bruce was full of anger as a young teen, always starting fights at school, but I learnt today that he also:

Burnt his teacher's front yard after being asked a question that triggered him.

Was obsessed with toy guns and wanted to go gun down criminals, which led to Gordon taking him on a trip to Arkham (not as a prisoner, but as a "Wanna finish like this???")

Poisoned a classmate and locked him in the boiler room to die (he didn't and Bruce was expelled) after Alfred told him to be less physical and more smart at stopping bullying.

And this was before he was 15. People must have thought he was going to become a serial killer.

Anyway, I need fics where his kids learn this OR have to deal with "violence is not the question, it's the answer" small Bruce.

[fuumiku]

ACNH AU but it’s just Chil as Tom Nook giving out lax loans to people in need with his half-foot guild, and his close friend Isabelle Marcille helping out and hanging around. Been playing ACNH and came to the realization that Tom Nook & Isabelle give Chil & Marcille energy, and immediately had to draw it…

Man wanted to retire early but still hasn’t stopped. What I want for post-canon Chilchuck is just for him to have Tom Nook energy fr fr

[starrysharks]

he has a tan now

[mybrainisslowlyboiling]

I personally feel like the peak of the Steven Universe fandom was around season 3 when everyone, no matter the context or plot of the fic, would go out of their way to get Peridot to say "what's a chicken?". It was chronic, and not even that funny. But that wasn't going to stop us from implementing it into our gem-human 136 part wattpad Lapidot college Au's feat. abusive ex gf Jasper that randomly stopped being updated in the midst of one of its 50 dramatic plottwists.

[gvardi-l]

return of the sillies

[alkibiadessuperfan]

more photos from my athens trip and athens in ac odyssey!

I love seeing these from others so I did these myself. I tried to get the perspective as right as I could.

[traincarsandstars]

//Bailu likes to bottle up her pain.

[amayavittori]

Desmond Miles has the vibes of a guy who would've loved Megan Thee Stallion and that's a hill I'm willing to perish clinging to

[czolgosz]

anyway the only book i got at that store that i didn't know of before was something about 19th century usamerican railroads.. i know i rag on narrative nonfiction but idc this time

[rwpohl]

le chat dans le sac, gilles groulx 1964

[especiallyhaytham]

Also I noticed people bringing back Auntie Cormac in my notes, and it fills me with such joy every time one of those posts reappears. I do love her lots.

If I redrew her at some point what would you guys want to see? Char design sheet? Silly 10-second animatic? Short comic panel? I suddenly have the urge. Sound off in comments if you have a cool idea!

[mistressemmedi]

Ok what PC games are y'all playing nowadays?

[yeonban]

You'd think Elijah wouldn't be scared of much anymore thanks to his line of work, but the SECOND you take him to an amusement park and put him in those dangerously insane rides (god forbid if they also go backwards instead of forward) he's GOING to cling to you for dear LIFE

[ithinkthiswasabadidea]

My partner was using his laptop this evening so I couldn't play more DA:O for a bit and instead I started up Assassin's Creed Valhalla for something to do

The visuals are gorgeous but good lord the controls are ass 🙃

[wutheringmights]

Everytime me and this one friend go on vacation together, something big happens in the news and at this point it’s just funny