#aspec pride flags are so pretty

[justarandombrit]

More colour picked pride flags: aspec edition

[unrestrainedbalderdash]

Tried making some aspec kink flags since I couldn't find any after a quick search. I'm not good at graphic design, just went into CSP with the magic wand and fill tool and gave the leather/kink flag aspec colours. I might draw lots of aspec kinkster headcanons in the aspec one, comments with characters (as well as if they're arospec, acespec or both) would be greatly appreciated. Feel free to use these flags, make edits, clean up, or redesign!

Left: Aspec. Right: Aroace.

Left: Aromantic. Right: Asexual

Left: Aroallo. Right: Alloace

Other concepts:

Left: Aspec flag in the kink flag (I told you I'm not good at graphic design, I liked the idea so if anyone wants to make one that actually looks good it would be very appreciated)

Middle: Aspec kink flag, but with red heart instead of grey

Right: Aspec flag with cut-out diamond to show the kink flag.

[nebulousjoy]

I've recently learned that an aroace-spec flag exists and I love the color palette:

[aaaroace]

The aroace flag looks cool!!!

🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡

💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛

🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍

🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵

💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙

THEY GAVE US PLAIN PINK AND BABY BLUE HEARTS FINALLY I CAN MAKE THESE POSTS

🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵

🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷

🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍

🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷

🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵

🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷

🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷

💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙

💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙

[lucifertheanalyzer]

Thoughts on “The Horrendous World of Helluva Boss Criticism” video?

I gave the video a watch, willing to hear the person out, since the critical side of this community has its own problems. But the video’s OP was quite mocking of critiques against Helluva and the people giving them. It was a pretty unpleasant viewing experience

I have the YouTuber blocked on Twitter, oh boy. I watched a lot of bad and unpleasant videos in my lifetime. As long as the audio is clear and the visuals don’t make my eyes scream for help, I can handle it.

Sees well-known dick riders stans in comment section: 🙄 Oh brother.

Sees a comment starting off with this:

“You have no how relieved I am to see discussion video actually defending this show and calling out the most obnoxious haters. Honestly, a lot of hate for Helluva Boss seems to be rooted in several kinds of bigotry - Homophobia, ableism (half the cast is so neurodivergent-coded imo) and misogyny (because the creator is a woman and the hate-watcher crowd never acknowledges Brandon Rogers, the co-writer, unless they want to praise him at Vivziepop's expense and blame literally EVERYTHING they don't like about the show on Viv and her alone) in particular.”

I guess I am no longer gay and neurodivergent because I like talking about the demons shows in a critical light for my own enjoyment. Time to throw away my pride flags and became a grifter on Twitter. /s 😔

I swear to everything if fans keep saying that all critics are bigots, I’m going to lose it!! 🫠Most critics on here and on Twitter are queer (trans, non-binary, aspec, etc) and neurodivergent. One fan critic I follow literally just said “autism”, which he is very real for lmao. Some critics are also woman. If you think all critics or the anti-Hellaverse crowd are anti-LGBT straight cis people, I hope you find your brain soon. I’m not saying that those people don’t exist but they’re very rare and tend to be ignore or made fun off by all sides. If your opinions are filled by hate, they are never valid.

Love that they pulled the ableism card while the r-slur was used back in the pilot, Blitz almost said it again, and in Ghostfuckers there is that “joke” about Toledo the Igor, the bellhop at the hotel Blitz and Millie go to who is visible disability where they are disgusted by the sight of him. Brandon gets criticized as well, same with Adam. Viv gets pushback more because she responds. If you criticized her in her replies, you are more likely to get her attention which causes more drama/discourse. Brandon and Adam just seem to live their lives and rarely or never responds to negative feedback.

It is currently 12am right now, I’m going to make a live reaction blog post (to be able to upload videos clips so I don’t get claims I’m taking her video out of context) while I enjoy my breakfast in the morning.

Would do it in video form but ehhhhhhhhhh speaking is hard okay? 🥺 Stupid speech impediment.

The YouTuber in question goes by she/her by the way, I have no idea why the person in Stephen’s screenshot misgenders her. Probably a mistake though.

[stupid-autistic-rat]

HAPPY PRIDE !!! 🌈

Before I begin , let' s give a shout out !!!

Shout out to all the gays Shout out to all the transgenders Shout out to all the aspec folk Shout out to all the bipoc queers Shout out to all the intersex folk Shout out to all the transspecies , otherkins , therians , nonhumans , and more !! Shout out to all the largely known labels Shout out to all the niche labels Shout out to all neopronoun users Shout out to all the binarys Shout out to all the nonbinarys Shout out to all the "" weird "" labels Shout out to all the people who' s gender doesn' t fit a label Shout out to all the people who' s gender doesn' t work in the way their label typically does Shout out to all the xenogenders Shout out to all the silly genders Shout out to the pupgenders and catgenders and more ! Shout out to all the Tboys :P Shout out to all the Tgirls :] Shout out to all the Tneutrals :3 Shout out to all the pre-T guys !! Shout out to all the pre-E girls !! Shout out to the trans folk that don' t want to transition Shout out to the trans folk that don' t want surgery and / or hrt Shout out to all the people who' s gender is just a silly little clown Shout out to all the people who' s gender is just the embodiment of darkness Shout out to all the cis gays Shout out to all the straight transgenders Shout out to all the folk who' s gender expression is opposite of their gender identity Shout out to all the people w no gender Shout out to all the people who are just all the genders Shout out to all genderfluid / flux individuals Shout out to all the people who' s pronouns change frequently Shout out to all the closeted folk ! Shout out to all the openly queer folk !! Shout out to those w homophobic family Shout out to those w accepting family Shout out to those w queer family !! Shout out to our allies <3 Shout out to our queer scientists / firefighters / engineers / ect !

and finally ..... Shout out to YOU. You are valid. You are loved. And we accept you just the way you are. Hold your head up and ignore all those sly remarks about your queerness. Close-mindedness is a sign of low IQ btwww.

Keep yourself safe this pride month! Remember the "" danger flags "" and what to avoid if you are heading to a pride parade or just online in general !

⚠ Trigger warning : uhhh bad paraphilias mentioned below ⚠

NOTICE THE DIFFERENCE !

The left is the MAP "" pride flag "" and to the right is the gender questioning flag. These 2 are commonly confused so PLS remember these differences and which to watch out for !! The gender questioning flag has 4 thin stripes. Pls do not call gender questioning folk MAP guys .... 💔

This is NOT a polyamorous spec flag or anything like that. This is the zoophile "" pride flag "" yea .... do not go near ANYONE w this flag or symbol. Yes I' m pretty sure this is a copy and pasteable symbol. If someone has it in their bio or wtv , BLOCK.

You can find more flags to avoid here !! [I didn' t create it btw]

Please take the time to view it if you aren' t sensitive to the topics mentioned :]

If you plan to go to a pride event , PLS STAY SAFE !!

Be aware of your area , state , and their views and always be aware of your surroundings !!

Bring friends if you plan on attending events or find a new friend at the event to stick to

Make sure your phone is always 100% charged !! Make sure it' s on airplane mode

Make sure someone trusted like a family member or friend knows where you are.

Be aware of exits or any areas that are easy to evacuate if needed

More tips can be found here !!

Now we come to you with other resources and links for you folk >:P

TREVOR PROJECT - 1-866-488-7386 - FREE COUNSELOR SERVICE

BINDER SAFETY + PACKING

HOW TO INJECT TESTOSTERONE + ESTROGEN - TW NEEDLES ↳ For less pain , stretch the skin , jab it in , and when u jab it in , cough when you do it :p

DIY HRT - Might be problematic to put this here but this is an extensive detailed guide on where and how to get HRT without having to go through these new laws + restrictions and regular long awaiting system. Also if you are unable to obtain it due to your situation , wtv it may be. There' s info on how to take it and what' s safe and not safe and there' s legal options too if ur able to. Some info for my Canadians and British folk too. Use wisely and be safe

LEGAL NAME + GENDER CHANGE PROCESS

WATCH OUT FOR THESE "" PRIDE FLAGS ""

HOW TO STAY SAFE AT PRIDE EVENTS

Comment what other links I should add :] these are just some i' ve gathered throughout the years

again ... HAPPY PRIDE MONTH !!! You are valid no matter what anyone tells you :P

Repost to share and spread !! 🌈🐾

[stars-n-spice]

Happy Pride!

Would've posted this earlier in the month but unfortunately I just didn't have the motivation to draw :/

But happy pride everyone!

Especially to queer people of color and/or anyone who identifies as being aspec! I know how alienating it can be as someone who is both, so, of course, I project onto my faves (hence why the Bad Batch are all aspec one way or another in my eyes) and create characters that are pretty much always POC.

I know how confusing, damning, and frustrating it is to be in a community that doesn't seem to always accept you. But I want you to know that you are seen and you matter! Your feelings, thoughts, and identities matter regardless of what others might say or make you feel. 🩵💫

Close up + Bad Batch ft. Ace flag & POC Pride Flag under the cut!

[papier-ciseaux]

What's in my Magician Maker picrew?

I will try to answer this to the best of my abilities!

Skin colours

There are 16 different skin colours! Regular human colours and some more alien-like! Yellow and Green are dark because they're meant for specific fandom characters. Grey is here for all the homestuck trolls

2. Ears

Normal ears, elf ears, mermaid fins! And earrings that fit each!

3. Vitiligo, freckles, scars, etc

Vitiligo comes in 6 different faces pattern, with the possibility of extending it to the whole body. There are three density of freckles in 6 colours to accomodate the different skin colours. There are also cheek scales, beauty marks, simple birthmarks, acne, and two attempts at portraying rashes/eczema in my style.

All of those are in one category so can't be combined

Wrinkles and scars are in different categories tho! Scars include: various facial gashes, tiny cuts, cleft lip, lichtenberg figures, burn scars, punch cheeks/black eye, frankenstein-like sutures, fantasy cracky of the skin! Each of the option actually hide a second scar in the colors

4. Facial features

Noses and mouths are pretty classic and their preview showcases what you'll get rather accurately. Eyebrows change in thickness/shape/colour when going through the colour option.

Colour options on the eye shape will change the mascara, or make it wink. The 3+ eyes offer a different set instead of winking. The sclera can be changed to different colours. The iris section helps show the various eye shapes.

5. Eyewears

Once again, some digging through colour options is necessary to find all of the eyewears (24 total with colour variations + 8 eyepatches)

6. Hijab

There are 7 different head covering with 6 unique colours for each! Some have very cool patterns if I may say so

7. Hair

There are different facial hair available in various colours, including some funny moustaches

Hair is very customisable, with straight, wavy, curly and kinky hair, all available in 18 colours, including a rainbow and a bicolour (blonde/black) options. Some hair can also have a gradient dye of black, red or blue. Examples:

8. Prosthetics

In the body section, it's possible to not have any arms, but there's also the robot arm option in the sleeve section. There's also a hook hand somewhere in the items. This is probably the most lacking section of the picrew ^^; If you have suggestions on things to add, send an ask.

9. Hand gestures

All of those come with gloves (short, long and fingerless) options, black nailpolish, and rings if possible to show. Also LOVE HATE knuckles tattoos. The 6th and 9th gestures are made to hold something: the main goal is to hold a wand because this is called "magician maker" but you can hold flags, flowers, or even a bird

10. Wands

A magician needs a wand! This is where the "gloomverse" aspect of this picrew comes in: I'm sure not everyone would call those things "wands", but in the lore of the comic, they can be! Canonical gloomverse wands examples:

But you can do so much more, if you explore a little ;)

11. Hats!

As important as wands, the hat of a magician! They can look like anything and have a lot of decoration on them. Hats can be created by choosing the brim and top's shapes, or you can choose already made ones:

Decorations are sorted by types, so I encourage exploration! They can make for fun add-on to a character, like the ears and horns:

12. Clothings

Each clothes come in 5 different "body types" with various cup sizes. That is the best I could come up with without quadrupling my workload.

There are a lot of way to customise the clothes. There's the clothes under, over, the collar, the sleeves, pride buttons/pins, logos, etc. Mostly homestuck references. Pride flags that aren't on the pins are in the background options*. Pronoun pins include: He/Him ; She/Her ; He/They ; She/They ; They/Them ; Ze/Hir ; Ze/Zir ; Fae/Faer ; It/Its

*(flags have been sorted in sexual orientation / gender / aspec at first, but due to people requesting more flags, it's not as clear cut. There are also blue version of pride flags due to fandom stuff, they're not official at all)

There's a lot more that could be said, but that's more than enough already!

[necroangelz]

you just reblogged the post a few mins ago so i imagine you want these requests but it also says your inbox is full so i’m a lil confused?? sorry- what’s up with the 🌈 requests? and if they are open despite ur inbox being full maybe empires s2 lizzie please? feel free to delete this or just say no if these aren’t open- sorry if i’m goofing this up hehe^^’ ty either way!!

the 🌈 posts don't count as actual requests!! I'm just doing this for fun, to celebrate pride month, and to show off my hcs fur different characters so anyone is free to send 🌈 in my inbox regardless if my requests are open or not

『 🌈 』

icons with my pride headcanons

✦✦　FAESARI BI-ORIENTED AROACE LIZZIE (ESMP2) !! ┈ ⟢

read more for 　 𝄈 　 my notes 　 🐈𓈒

bi aro ace flag found here.

god the faesari flag is so pretty what????? anyway i really love the idea of bisexual Lizzie (THE CHARACTER!!!!!!) but also i feel like as a nonhuman she wouldn't feel attraction the same way humans do?? so thats why i made her aspec (specifically aroace spectrum) and faesari just makes sense for her i think :3

i didn't feel like finding fanart so i just used photos of her skins... and i threw in mystic Mary for the sillies

[disventure-rewrite-takes]

for when u get back:

I'd make Jaiden t4t. bc that would be pretty rad and also it would be nice to have a canon trans character that isn't the skinny white twink named Aiden

like don't get me wrong, I know tguys like Aiden, I know tguys called Aiden, but like. the very stereotypical trans guy being the Only trans character period is. weird. i don't like it.

also while I'm here... let's see... Gabby, Alec, Rosa, Lake, Grett and Kai. All trans. Also also we should have a canon nonbinary and/or genderfluid or bigender character. gimme enbies who use multiple sets of pronouns pretty please!

like if ONC are going to claim that like half the characters were super intended to be LGBTQ and have pride posts filled with a bunch of characters they 100% just. decided were queer for brownie points so the posts would have more than 4 characters... then we might as well go all the way!

- 👽

YES TO ALL OF THIS!!!

jaiden being t4t would solve every issue in the world ever i think . make this canon ONC pls.. actually dont bc you’ll fuck it up horribly. keep your hands off trans james.

i’m glad you think, just like me, that they announced some of the cast as queer just for people to call them progressive and praise them. i’m fine with having a few characters not mention their queer identity and still be queer - i’m basically doing this with my own original story - because it can sometimes get exhausting to hear everyone outright stating their identity. it’s not in-character for everyone.

but when you have over half the cast never mention or show queerness then they just appear in the pride posts... red flag. trevek is a MAJOR example of fan service and stuff like this: they had zero chemistry, derek was always a dick to trevor, and now, somehow, for some reason, trevor is in love with derek AND we have a SECOND LOVE TRIANGLE. another few examples: huntessally never got together and never once mentioned queerness despite being set up to do both, and guess what? they’re portrayed in official art always together, with bi and pan flags respectively, despite never ever mentioning anything. karol was there for 0.2 seconds, but ONC realized they don’t have enough lesbians and forgot about trans and aspec people and decided to make her a lesbian. dan was probably made asexual just because his color scheme is purple, and emily is “part of the LGBT community” because the majority of fans hc-ed her that way so god forbid they are let down. they didn’t even tell us if she had a specific label, was unlabelled, or simply labelled herself as queer. what a slap in the face.

if you want to represent queer people, do it well. do your research. don’t make your characters gasp at the mention of a trans person (seriously what the FUCK). don’t include a kissing challenge because romance-repulsed/touch-repulsed people and/or aspec people simply could not do it. if you want to have a stereotypical queer character, that’s fine as long they have a personality outside of it and there is at least another character with the same label who does not adhere to the norm.

[crimsys-blog-sucks]

Hey, it's pride month

Lemme share my ekko gender/sexuality headcannons :3

FLAGS ABOVE:

Demiboy: Partially boy, partially not (can be nonbinary, agender, etc)

Bisexual: Sexually attracted to two or more genders

Aspec (Asexual spectrum): Being on the asexual spectrum or being asexual in some way

I originally had him headcannoned as pansexual, but I hear from someone's post that he's canonically bi in League, so I changed it up.

Plus, it fits the color scheme a little better :3

For pronouns, I headcannon that he mainly goes by He/They, but is sometimes okay with other pronouns.

I'd say he's pretty androgynous presenting tbh. Sure he wears some masculine presenting stuff in Arcane, but I think he'd wear some feminine presenting stuff as well.

For gender, I decided on Demiboy since I feel like he isn't fully a boy, but not entirely nonbinary. Idk dude. He just seems Demiboy :]

Also, I decided on the Aspec/Asexual Spectrum flag cuz this dude does NOT seem fully allosexual 😭

I couldn't choose a specific sexuality on the Ace spectrum, so I just put that since that describes him pretty well in my opinion.

Also, TELL ME THIS THING I FOUND ON PINTEREST ISN'T HIM BRO 😭

HE'S FR THE ONLY SANE ONE ON THE SHOW 😭

love him

[tiger-moran]

Please shut up about how we have to separate asexual and aromantic, please shut up about how they're 'totally separate identities that need to be acknowledged as separate and need separate representation!'

For SOME people they're separate, SOME. Not all. Some people are both and they are separate for them. Some people are one and not the other. Those are all great and valid ways to experience attraction (or its lack) and yes absolutely we need more representation for all aspec identities! But not everyone fits under those! Nor are we going to see ourselves represented in characters where the identities are clearly separated.

But this is the constant message that I'm seeing, that they're separate, that they have to be treated as separate, that they basically don't overlap even for people who are both, and also that not only the attraction but the experiences we have because of those identities don't even have any real overlap or similarities, and I'm sick to death of it. I'm sick of practically every single 'aspec positivity' blog or post making it sound as if I HAVE to separate them when I can't. I'm sick of it being made out I'm 'using labels wrong' or that I'm 'experiencing attraction wrong'. I never see any real acknowledgement of people who are both and can't separate them, I never see any acknowledgement any more of people who are asexual meaning both because the SAM does not apply to us and also we don't see why asexual unlike pretty much every other orientation HAS to be assumed to be neatly and clearly split and actually some of us are pretty resentful both that a split has basically been forced on every aspec person now and also that if ever we try to assert that we're asexual meaning both our aromanticism gets erased and we're just assumed to be alloromantic or we get treated like 'fake aromantics' who aren't really aromantic at all and only actually care about our lack of sexual attraction (and I do wonder if a similar thing happens to those who also don't use the SAM but call themselves just aromantic). Even that aroace flag which I don't even like anyway but that was supposed to sort of represent people like me who can't separate our asexuality from our aromanticism still gets used by people who insist basically I've got to see asexual and aromantic as separate identities. I've had to block so many blogs for doing this (because actually, I hate confrontation, I hate arguing, I don't want to confront people over this so I'd rather just block them so I don't have to see it any more) - because they keep posting content, even so called 'positivity', that is basically just erasing and excluding people like me from what are meant to be my own communities and they really do just make me feel like shit over something I've never felt like shit about ever before until this insistence on using the SAM and neatly and clearly splitting up the identities started to happen. (And yes I'm also sick of this overall sense that people are trying to shove everyone in the queer community into all these totally separate boxes and act like there's no overlap between the identities and/or the experiences of any of them. I still think this insistence on a neat and precise ace/aro split is symptomatic of a wider issue.)

I'm not even saying that asexuality and aromanticism can never possibly be experienced separately or never have separate experiences or issues sometimes even for people like me, but there is just no point where my asexuality clearly and neatly splits from my aromanticism, there is no clear divide between my lack of sexual attraction and lack of romantic attraction. But it's like... just fuck everyone who's both asexual and aromantic and can't neatly separate them I guess. That's the message I've been getting for many years now (and it gets even worse every time Pride Month comes around).

I'm sorry for sounding angry about this and repeating myself about this too but the reality of this is it's shoved people like me out, it's left us nowhere we feel like we belong. And sorry too but I was IDing as asexual meaning both before a lot of the people doing this, insisting they have to be viewed as separate, were probably even born, so I am pretty annoyed that it got to this stage when basically everyone started acting like we're not allowed to do that and that you have to use these neatly split terms instead. (Also this is in addition to there being rather too much actual genuine negativity - not simply repulsion towards the idea of having sex themselves but actual real negativity - towards not just sex but people who have sex coming from some asexual people, which is both unpleasant and also alienating to a lot of aspecs, or the proliferation of ideas like 'aces love cuddling' which are treated like the singular asexual experience when they also don't apply to many of us. Plus the general ignoring of/erasure of older asexual people as well. A lot of the time it does feel too like the aspec community or communities forgets anyone over the age of about 25 or so even exists in them.)

I'm just so tired of this.

[cookie-waffle]

nah cuz the lgbt community on this site fucking sucks, man. We are currently facing one of the worst times for the community in modern history. Russia considers us extremists now. Half of the united states wants us dead. Kids are being taught by their parents and social media to openly hate us. We’re constantly being accused of pedophilia simply for being lgbt. I don’t even remember seeing this much vocal hatred for lgbt people in 2010 COD lobbies.

And what are the issues ya’ll are most worried about on this site? Thinking that nonbinary people are some sort of threat? Accusing aro and ace people of being “less oppressed” than you? Arguing with bisexuals over how valid their orientation is? And now there’s fucking discourse about intersex people????

I’m gonna tell ya’ll this straight. This discourse does not fucking matter outside the internet.

You’d be pretty hard-pressed to find any irl lgbt safe space that excluded aspecs, nonbinary, or intersex people. All of their pride flags are hung up with everyone else’s because they have ALWAYS been apart of the community.

So why the fuck are we fighting over something so stupid when the literal fucking world is falling apart around us? Maybe focus all that energy you use to act like a boot-sucking pick-me into something that actually makes a difference for lgbt people. You could donate clothes, volunteer, donate to pro-lgbt charities. Fucking anything aside from acting like you’re some kinda cop online who has to police anyone who isn’t binary trans or cis gay.

[flipclock]

Playing with the aceflux flag colors because I’m not a fan of either the old flag or the new one

How I’d redesign the eyestrain-y original flag:

I used the new flag colors as a starting point and just changed the three middle stripes to become a gradient. Personally, I think a gradient is a very good representation of being aceflux. Not that I hate the new flags! I like the aroflux flag redesign a lot because it keeps the same vibe as the original flag, but I feel like the new aceflux flag is missing the same effect.

Attempted to try to capture the feel the redesigned aroflux flag:

I still prefer the vibe of the old flag compared to this but this is a bit better. I think it’s important aroflux and aceflux flags work together though

B-b-bonus round

Colorpicked colors from other pride flags I use:

The desaturated purple is the worst lmao but I’m kinda digging it otherwise

Color picked from Pinky Pie and Twilight Sparkle because why not

Pretty terrible. 0/10. These ponies are very inconvenient colors. Embarrassing

And that’s all I’ve got! I identified as aceflux when I was 14/15 and then the aphobia in the 2015-2017 era kinda put me back into the aspec closet. I just recently realised I’m still aspec so I’m trying to reconnect with that part of myself.

[svartalfhild]

I want to take a minute to talk about something regarding what it's like to be ace in the queer community. This is very much addressed at allos, so please listen.

We constantly have to deal with the fact that many people in the queer community don't want us there and don't really pay attention to or care about us, if they're even aware of our existence at all. This is incredibly disheartening and isolating. It keeps us from finding help and comfort and acceptance.

Every time I see a space designated for queer people, I have to wonder if I'll even be acknowledged, let alone welcome. I have to wonder if I will be politely tolerated at best or actively harassed at worst. I have to wonder if there will be any resources for people like me. I have to wonder if it's worth my time to be there. Even when it's an explicitly pro-aspec space, I have to wonder how much of that is just lipservice. All that wondering keeps me away.

It's in the little things too, and boy are there a lot of little things. Do you have any idea what it's like to go to Pride and have to ask vendors if they have any ace stuff only for them to very awkwardly tell you they don't? And to feel how off-put they are by you? Do you have any idea how it feels to go to a queer section at a bookstore or library knowing there will be nothing there for you, but hoping anyway, only to be proven right? It wears on you.

I think a lot of allos don't realize how bad it can fuck with you to be so hated by other queer people that you basically have nowhere to go, no community to turn to. The aspec community is comparatively small, rarely spoken of, and quite fractured, thanks to exclusionists. We have a hard time finding each other, let alone helping each other, and getting our voices heard without allo help is next to impossible. You may not think of yourself as an exclusionist or think you have anything against aspecs, but I invite you to examine how much you actually acknowledge and include us and how you behave around us. If you truly want to help us, it's on you to make sure we know we're welcome and supported. This doesn't just mean slapping our flag on merch or putting books on shelves. It means being there when we need you and not being shy about it. Ace person getting the old "I could fix you" in the group chat? Fucking handle it. Ace person trying to speak out about an ace issue? Lift up their voice.

Things are a little better than they were ten years ago, but it's still pretty damn clear how much bias there is against us in the queer community, to put it gently. To put it not so gently, we know y'all fucking hate us. It hurts more than I can say and does damage well beyond the scope of just us. Aspecs are one of the softest targets for the fashies right now, because we have so little support and just enough visibility to be on the radar. We are one of the corpses they will be stepping over on their way to you. Abandoning us just helps them achieve their goals faster. Stop trying to cut off a limb that was always there just because they told you that you'd look more acceptable without it.

[my-ace-life]

Asexuality & Aromanticism 101

So, I keep throwing the terms around, but what even are asexuality and aromanticism?

I’m glad you asked.

The asexual and aromantic spectrums are a collection of identities that can be described by the larger umbrella term “aspec.” What is key to understanding these identities is the separation of sexual and romantic attraction. Sexual and romantic attraction are two different dimensions to human sexuality. Sometimes they are aligned, like when someone is homosexual and homoromantic (as in experiencing both sexual and romantic attraction to those of the same sex) or heterosexual and heteroromantic or bisexual and biromantic and so on and so forth. However, this is not always the case, and it is perfectly normal for sexual and romantic attraction to be different. It is very important to recognize these different facets of a person’s identity, especially for aspec individuals, as there is a diverse set of combinations of these identities in the aspec community that uniquely influence the life of these individuals (Antonsen et al. 2020, Caravalho & Rodrigues 2022, Scott et al. 2016, Tessler 2023). 

This section will be a quick-reference guide to aspec identities informed by my personal experience as well as peer-reviewed research. As such, I will not be mentioning every single microlabel in the community, as the microlabels are pretty much always changing. If I miss something that you feel is important to include, please let me know! It was not my intention to be exclusionary, but to create a stable reference guide for the orientations that come up a lot in conversation about aspec identities and thus did not want to include microlabels that aren’t always around. To aid in understanding, I have included a couple of visuals that I created to go alongside definitions.

To learn more about my identities and how they have shaped my life, visit the “My Stories” section of this blog.  

Asexual Spectrum (I will include the pride flags for each of the identities listed):

Asexual: not experiencing sexual attraction

Demisexual: needing there to be a deep emotional connection to experience sexual attraction to another person 

Gray-asexual: being in between asexual and allosexual - whether that means that the person can still experience sexual attraction in some situations or has in the past

Allosexual: experiencing sexual attraction

All of the individuals who identify with the above can also fall into the following categories:

Sex-repulsed: Disgusted or uncomfortable with the idea of engaging in sexual activities of any kind with any person

Sex-neutral: Open to sexual activities in the right circumstances

Sex-favorable: Desires and/or seeks out sexual activities despite not experiencing sexual attraction to specific people

Aromantic Spectrum (I will include the pride flags for each of the identities listed):

Aromantic: not experiencing romantic attraction 

Demiromantic: needing there to be a deep emotional connection to experience romantic attraction to another person

Gray-romantic: being in between aromantic and alloromantic - whether that means they occasionally experience romantic attraction under the right circumstances or they have in the past

Alloromantic: experiencing romantic attraction

All of the individuals who identify with the above can also fall into the following categories:

Romance-repulsed: Disgusted or uncomfortable with the idea of engaging in romance of any kind with any person

Romance-neutral: Open to romance in the right circumstances

Romance-favorable: Desires and/or seeks out romance/romantic activities despite not experiencing romantic attraction to specific people