#asoue opinions

[random-dragon-exe]

Okay hot take, but I wouldn't mind if adult Timmy doesn't appear in FOP A New Wish.

Maybe it's just me, but I think it'd be great to have some ambiguity to his fate.

Think of it like the fate of the Baudelaires in ASOUE, at the end of The End, the audience doesn't know their fate. However, it's up to the person's imagination to create their fate. Sometimes, we won't get all the answers, and it's up to the audience to fill in the gaps.

I honestly think it'd be for the better for the show to continue the stories of a couple of OG characters to further the plot, except for Timmy.

Mainly because I'd like the show to continue on its own merit, not just for the nostalgia of showing the OG characters we've seen.

For example, I like the direction that we've seen so far, allowing a few OG characters to return to have an actual impact on the plot, and it feels natural to their story.

A.J founded the Galaxa Institute

Crocker is a janitor at the Institute still with a fairy obsession

Vicky is a birthday princess who terrorizes kids when the adults aren't looking

Again it's a hot take for a reason. I'm aware that I'm in the minority here.

[alice-blogs-things]

Autism Acceptance Month 2023- The Henchperson of Indeterminate Gender, Netflix’s A Series Of Unfortunate Events

[androgymagnus]

i just put the first year it aired to clarify but couldnt be bothered to check when each ended so rip

[broke-on-books]

✒️ please!!

Send me a ✒️ and I'll pick a poem I think you'd like

After flipping through my notebooks I decided to go with my first instinct for you, which was "A Toast to the Alchemists" by Laura Gilpin. This poem hasn't been published online officially, so they're aren't a ton of sites that have it that I could find with a quick Google search. However I've attatched photos of a reddit post with it along with my version in my journal.

I picked this poem because of its themes of time and the passage of time, as well as magic and giving emotional significance to the most mundane and clinical of things (atoms and elements). In other words, taking magic from the world around us, especially through a lens usually seen as lacking wonder or whimsy. Also vibes, I mainly did it based on vibes.

Some other poems I considered in my search/additional recommendations are listed under the cut:

If you liked the writing of this poem, and haven't read it already (or have) I definitely recommend "The Two-Headed Calf" by Laura Gilpin. It's by the same author and is her most famous poem and is fairly well known and also soooooo good. So good.

Poems with similar themes:

Poems with similar themes to "A Toast to the Alchemists" are

"Dusting" by Marilyn Nelson 💘 (literally cried to this. To be fair it was 10 minutes after I finished the HDM finale so it was mainly because of that but still. Great poem.)

"The Sciences Sing a Lullabye" by Albert Goldbarth

"Ozymandias" by Percy Bysshe Shelley (90% sure you've read this one its the time theme but inverted and it's great if you haven't)

Rejected picks/Poems that gave me Anu vibes (many for no particular reason):

Poems by Ted Kooser for some reason??? NO idea why they're very different from the ones above but some of my faves are "Selecting a Reader", "In a Country Cemetery in Iowa", "The Constellation Orion" and "Flying by Night" (I'm v much questioning this pick now but I'll keep it up here just in case)

Honestly a bunch of random unrelated stuff was popping out at me ("Listen" by Miller Williams, "Cartoon Physics, Part 1" by Nick Flynn, "Snow" by David Berman) and like a million billion more which I all got from the same anthology (Poetry 180, edited by Billy Collins) so if you want to read a bunch more poetry, based on vibes alone, I'd say look for the book, the website, or the sequel. The poems from that book aren't too similar to the one above but it's really one of two books I generally recommend people right off the bat (it was my lit teachers favorite lol) because it's meant to get young adults and teens into poetry and introduce contemporary poetry in general. Idk how much poetry you've read whatever but even if you aren't new to it it's still a good compilation of late 90s/early 00s poetry that makes you think but isn't super long/totally incomprehensible

Anyways that got WAY longer than I anticipated or anyone probably wanted but poetry is an obsession of mine and recommending poetry is much more complicated and harder that it looks, even for the people you know best in the whole world AFTER interviewing their opinions on poetry, not to mention how difficult it would be for internet friends on tumblr. But anyways there's a couple poems, I got the vibes as close as I could with the poems I had on file. (Although i do feel like I'm missing something big 🤔) Anyways thanks for the ask Anu! Hope you thought my pick was alright!

[alittleemo]

doing my annual check in on my ancient wattpad account and its lowkey crazy to see TOO has 15k views like hello . so sorry abt all of that btw.

[fanonical]

one thing i will be eternally grateful to netflix asoue for is their treatment of the henchperson of indeterminate gender

because, in the books, that character's portrayal is unabashedly hateful. they're so fat and gross you can't tell what gender they are! it's another step towards degendering people based on weight and an ugly, hateful stereotype

whereas in the netflix adaptation, not only is that element not there, but the henchperson gets to be a lot more of a person. they have opinions, they're quite erudite, they're a whole different personality to their book version. and i like that!

[whencartoonsruletheworld]

never have I played any nights at Freddy fazbears

pls explain the whole plot and all lore to me as if I were small and slightly stupid

oh great timing i literally JUST explained this to my asoue discord

this is a VERY simple summary, but things to keep in mind while reading:

very very VERY little of this is directly spelled out for us. the creator, scott cawthon, LOVES to confuse people on purpose and the vast majority of the lore is gleaned from hidden minigames, secret cutscenes, and easter eggs. this makes things very confusing and controversial within the fanbase, so im gonna try to explain where there are differing opinions

really, there's two main stories: the first main story was completed with FNAF6 and Ultimate Custom Night, the story going on rn is the second and it is still ongoing. as such, a lot of the lore is still a mystery to all of us.

For clarity's sake, I will divide this between: THE AFTON STORY, the one the movie's gonna tell a part of, and THE GLITCH STORY, which the games are going through

dont worry i will make it fun to go through so it doesnt feel like school

ok lets go

THE AFTON STORY

First, let's get a visual chart in here. don't worry it's just for show

These are the important families we will be talking about; the Emily family, with father Henry and daughter Charlie, and the Afton Family, with father William, two sons (Michael and a boy who is still unnamed, he might get named on friday? We call him Crying Child "CC") and a daughter, Elizabeth. Don't worry about the mothers they're not important

Okay so here's the thing: of these four children, all but Michael die VERY early on in the timeline

The problem is we do NOT know THE ORDER each of them died. There's a lot of arguments on all sides but I personally think the order is sad boi->charlie->baby so imma present it in that order. But keep in mind that we don't actually know because of the confusing way the lore is dropped.

okay so for starters.

Backstory/FNAF4

purple guy is william afton and he and this guy vcalled henry start opening a restaurant chain starring freddy fazbear

in the original location they've got two animatronic suits, fredbear and spring bonnie. the other location has freddy, bonnie, foxy, chica

the og location suits are ~special~ tho, bc henry and william are crazy inventor dudes. these suits are called "springlock suits". they function as full animatronics but you can wind all the wires and gears and endoskeleton and shit back and step into the costume yourself. only problem is the safety is jackshit and if you like. cry or sweat or breathe wrong the springlocks will fail and the metal will come crashing back and crush u to death. u should have enough time to get to the back room so u dont bleed out in front of the customers tho. springlock suits are important remember those

michael is in his early teens and has just learned how to be a shit to his siblings and is trying out this hot new bullying thing. he's picking a lot on CC because CC is terrified of the freddy animatronics. it is said that he "saw something" that scared him, it could be anything as benign as "saw someone go into the suit and got freaked out" to something as serious as "saw one of those aforementioned springlock failures and person bleeding out." could also be charlie or elizabeth's death if those happen earlier in the timeline. again we dont know bc cawthon likes to confuse us

CC is not scared of the freddy characters tho, he has all the plushies and calls them his friends. he's just scared of the animtronics. unfortunately his dad works there so he has to be there like 90% of the time so he's having a wonderful time. hence the moniker "crying child". bc he cries all the time

anyway at his birthday party, michael decides it would be really funny to shove CC up into the animatronic's mouth for kicks. this goes about as well as you'd expect cause the mouth closes and fuckin. crushes his head

kid goes into a coma for a while but eventually flatlines. while he's in the coma we hear michael tearfully apologizing, and his fredbear plush talks to him (presumed to be william) saying he will "put him back together"

anyway that was fun. so next up charlie emily gets FUCKING MURDERED

Backstory/FNAF1-2

for some reason charlie gets locked outside the pizzeria. william's driving by and decides to stab her bc why not

honestly most of us believe that this occured after CC just bc it gives william motivation to be pissy at his business partner and kill his kid abt it, but also a book that released a month ago implies that william might have been nightmare gassing his kids for shits and giggles so. who knows. dont worry about that btw its not relevant rn

anyway the thing is willie and henry had an animatronic designed to protect the children called the puppet. the puppet sees charlie outside and goes out to help her but it's raining so it fries up the puppet's circuits and it crashes on top of her dead body. cheery!

except this is where it gets wild bc charlie proceeds to like. possess the puppet

possession is really complicated in this universe but basically there's no real way to communicate openly with people and the possesser might not even be aware of who or where they are or anything really but. yeah the lil girl def possesses the puppet

its after this that william starts killing kids for funsies. a lot of us presume that he saw the puppet getting possessed and was like "holy shit a way to bring crying kid back" but again he might've just decided this was fun

anyway he lures five kids into the Secret Freddy's Backroom That Is Not On The Maps by wearing the spring bonnie costume. after killing them he shoves them into the other animatronic suits (freddy, bonnie, chica, foxy, fredbear "golden freddy") and yeah they start gettin possessed

the fifth missing kid was stuffed in fredbear and here's where it gets veeery theoretical cause we dont have straight confirmation of this but just some theories. it's VERY likely that crying child was also haunting fredbear at this point, and shoving another kid in there got two kids haunting the same bitch and it causes fredbear (golden freddy) to be really fucking weird and glitchy and eldritch or w/e. anyway you dont have to worry about that rn cause golden freddy doesnt show up much they're too busy ascending or smth

now this is where the lore gets confusing-- the first game claims that after the last two were lured, someone was caught on camera, arrested and charged. however we know for a fact willie-boi wasnt caught so either 1) this got retconned when cawthon decided to actually make lore, 2) he wasnt convicted and somehow still kept a hold on the fazbear empire during this, or 3) a lot of us theorize that henry was framed for the crimes and thats why he disappears from the timeline until the sixth game. cause yeah he disappears from the timeline until the sixth game. personally i believe the third it makes a lot of sense but yeah willie-boi stops killing at about five kids

anyway will is going full scientist with all these animatronics and he's like. ripping parts off them and putting them on other animatronics to see what happens. we THINK. again this is really vague but this is just kinda the most logical explanation here.

anyway this is what happens in fnaf2 and what it does is like. split the souls and shit. and he's like "oh this is sick" except this makes all the suits act erratic as hell and very angry towards adults (theyre cool with kids tho) and eventually one of them causes the infamous Bite of 87. we're not entirely sure what it was but one of the animatronics bit off the frontal lobe of someone in 1987. this caused this location to get shut down and willie boi just puts the pieces back on the og animatronics and is like "well shit what do we do now boys"

FNAF5: Sister Location

anyway so this is where we think elizabeth dies in the timeline. william makes these things called the "funtime animatronics"-- we know they are made after a fnaf location shuts down, though it's not specified which. these animatronics are built SPECIFICALLY to kidnap children. ballora is built as a distraction for parents, the other two are built to only move when not seen, and then Circus Baby™ has an arm that can grab kids and drag thtem into her until willie lets em out. she is programmed to only do this when a child is alone in the room so william tells elizabeth "do not go see baby when you are alone in the room"

so elizabeth is like 6 and she goes to see baby when she is alone in the room and baby grabs her but the arm is fucked up and the kid dies p badly

funtime's location is then immediately closed due to "gas leaks" and william rents out the funtimes for parties. at the same time he starts shoving some haunted parts into the funtime animatronics to see what happens. we THINK.

important location here btw is the "scooping room." it's actually very good horror but basically it's a bitch that is supposed to rip the endoskeletons out of the suit whenever theyre malfunctioning. super smart idea that will cause no nightmares going forwards.

anyway the animatronics all kinda know that william killed them so after a while (a few years??? who knows) they start trying to kill him and he's like "hmm. i cannot go into this bunker anymore. let me send michael, my last surviving kid who i hate." this is where michael, now an adult, re-enters the timeline.

mikey boy is told by his dad that he can bring his baby sis back to life if he goes down into this bunker and does some shit. michael is like "oh sweet" bc honestly he probably still feels guilty about literally killing his bro and so he goes down to the bunker.

the animatronics eventually tell him "go into the scooping room it'll be totes mcgotes" and when he gets there he finds out that the animatronics have killed all the other employees, scooped themselves, and fused their endoskeletons into one conglomerate called ennard

ennard is like "yeah we cant escape here cause they just bring us back so we're gonna use you as a skinsuit k thnx" and they scoop him and use him as a skinsuit

it's really good horror i promise

BUT this turned out to be a bad plan because Humans Decay so after like a week ennard gets puked up by the MikeSuit and escapes into the sewers.

here, meanwhile, is where mike pulls a reverse uno card and possesses his own decaying corpse

LIKE A FUCKING BADASS

he then calls up his dad and is like "hey dad :) elizabeth's fine now :) BUT :) they fucking killed me :) because they thought i was you :) you sure sent me down here to die huh :) anyway :) im gonna come find you :) you have a ten minute head start start running :)"

actor really fucking sold that monologue too ngl

so he's like. PISSSSSSED and rightfully so he is walking around in his own corpse. so he goes to find his dad

Backstory/FNAF3

this is about when peepaw willie goes back to the original fnaf location (we THINK) and is like "ok im just gonna take apart all the animatronics and do something with these"

only when he destroys the suits the missing kids' ghosts show up and spook him. so this guy who's been studying ghosts is like "oh fuckshit there's ghosts here" and tries to hide in the spring bonnie suit. only he laughs and this causes the springlocks to malfunction and FUCKING VIOLENTLY KILL HIM. get springlocked idiot

except then HE possesses the spring bonnie suit and this is springtrap. but also he's in a super secret back room while this happens so he is trapped there for a while

FNAF6

so ennard, michael and william are fuckin around for a couple years. at some point ennard decides that elizabeth is kinda a freak actually and kicks her out of the hivemind so she just rebuilds herself a circus baby suit and keeps wanderin around so now we got four bitches doing who knows what

eventually it's been 30 years since the last freddy's closed and someone opens up a haunted house parody of it. mike goes to work there as a security guard* and guess what they found springtrap and bring him to the attraction thinking he's just an animatronic. after five nights of fucking with him mike sets the place on fire to try and finally kill his dad fr. it does not work

*note that this isnt confirmed to be michael but we kinda. all know it's probably him. it really seems to be him

anyway then michael finds out that an actual fazbear's is opening and needs an owner so he goes and becomes owner of the restaraunt. while some guy on a cassette tape is giving him tutorial instructions he sets up the place and also collects several animatronics. these are:

scraptrap (peepaw post-fire and really pissed)

scrapbaby (elizabeth now thinking that maybe if she kills things her dad will pay attention to her)

molten freddy (remains of ennard still not entirely sure what's going on)

lefty (a bear solely built to capture the puppet, who was still fuckin around the fnaf2 location i guess. anyway now the puppet is here thats important)

so after our five nights scrapbaby comes on the speaker system and is like "omg dad if we kill people will you love me. we're gonna kill soooo many people it's my passion actually" and that's when the cassette tutorial guy interrupts her

and he just goes "yeah. you're not doing that"

anyway he's like "hi guys. you remember me??? henry??? from 30 years ago?? i owned half this business? you killed my daughter and stuffed her soul in a puppet? lmao yeah i literally lured you all here and you came like the fucking idiots you are. im setting the place on fire, we're all gonna die and go to heaven. except for YOU, WILL. you are not going there. lmao bye" and he sets the place on fire and they all burn. it's more epic when he says it tbh

now henry mentions that he had an escape route ready for the building owner but he figured out the owner was michael and was like "i feel like you wanna stay and burn with us" and michael's like "fuck yeah"

you might think that wraps up the story nicely but OH NO THERE'S MORE

Ultimate Custom Night

see, the next game is ultimate custom night where you can choose which animatronics hunt you and their level of difficulty. it is through hidden messages and shit that we find out that ucn is, canonically, william being tortured in hell. which is sick af

anyway the tormentor is a spirit labelled "the vengeful spirit" in the files, and "the one you should not have killed" by the animatronics. we sometimes hear either a light voice behind the other animatronic lines (could be either a woman with a light voice, a little girl, or a little boy), and the pic that sometimes shows up as a hallucination is a distorted photo of scott cawthon's son. we know for a FACT this spirit is someone from the fnaf6 fire cause they reference the fire more than once while poking willie with a stick. it's probably not elizabeth cause she was just tryin to get her dad's attention. it's not charlie/puppet bc one of her lines is like "ffs just stay out of my way for ONCE." we also know for a fact it's not henry cause they were like "henry sure tried to release us huh. not happening im not letting you go that easily bitch haha" so that narrows it down to michael and the missing kids

now here's the thing.

the vaaaaast majority of the fandom is convinced that the vengeful spirit is cassidy, the missing child that was stuffed inside golden freddy with cc. this is because golden freddy is in a looot of ultimate custom night and if you beat the hardest mode you just get a quick cutscene of him glitching and then everything fades to black

however. i have seen legiterally no convincing evidence that this is the case. all we know about cassidy is she is the golden freddy missing kid and was talking to cc through the logbook. and we BARELY know this. in the alternate universe book she first showed up in (the silver eyes) she wasn't even the golden freddy kid. people point out a similar situation to her and cc in fazbear frights where one of the kids was tormenting william (stitchwraith) but that's literally a whole separate universe and completely separate characters with separate backstories and personalities

there's a sprite in security breach who fights glitchtrap (explained below) who was named in the files as "cassidy" so ppl point to that but 1) they changed that name after people made a deal out of it, 2) that could mean literally anything, 3) the protag of the next game was named "cassie" and her story kinda paralleled the sprite's first game so uuhhhh anyway

honestly i think it's WAY more likely the vengeful spirit is mr michael "i'm going to come find you and set you on fire twice" afton, using his childhood likeness to fuck with his dad. this is strengthened by one of the easter egg cutscenes in ucn, where the vengeful spirit talks to a benevolent spirit who tells them to "leave the demon to his demons. there is nothing for you here." the audio in the background is someone distortedly screaming "HENRY" and "MICHAEL"

one of the animatronic lines also says "is this a prison for you or for me? perhaps both" implying that the vengeful spirit feels like they belong in hell, which would fit with mike's "i killed my brother" self-loathing. the golden freddy glitch could very easily be his mental anguish as well as william's, with the optional cutscene telling us that while michael is self-harming by torturing his dad in hell, he has the ability to move on and find peace if he can forgive himself. honestly i really like that open ending there

another point towards "vengeful mike" theory is that we play as him for most of the games (definitely 5 and 6, most likely 1 and 3, some theorize 4) and so him being the vengeful spirit is way more emotionally impactful than "random kid #5"

however every time i bring this up to the fnaf fandom they get really really pissy at me because y'all love ur angry lil girl cassidy headcanons and honestly that is completely fair i also love angry lil girls. im just saying this bc we're going over whats canon rn and i firmly believe in vengeful mike (thank @birdsareblooming for that) but yknow. cassidy is also fun as hell

i wrote a whole essay on this btw these are just the cliffnotes. do you guys wanna see the essay

anyway that's where the afton story ends but OHHH NO MR CAWTHON CANNOT STOP

if you just want a quick catchup before the movie you can stop here but anyway. let's talk mimicry

THE GLITCH STORY

the games coming out recently are kinda a sequel-story and bc theyre still coming out we are still very confused about what the fuck is canon and what is not so this one will be a lot more guessing. i digress let's talk about

Help Wanted

so back on earth, it's the 2020s-2030s. turns out the fazbear company is still functional and they're like "well shit guys what the FUCK do we do about all of That"

so they decide they need a brand cleansing and what they do is they secretly hire an "indie game developer" to make the fnaf games in-universe, to make light of the tragedies and make people take them less seriously. they pretend to have beef with this indie dev but eventually put all of his games into a VR game as a show of "good faith." somehow this actually does work in revitalizing the brand image

also sidenote but the books imply that the indie dev was kidnapped and gaslit into making the games but thats not important

now see there's a glitch in the game and the beta-tester jeremy mentions it and then gets increasingly withdrawn and obsessive. because it turns out there is a Bitch in here

now. the identity of the Bitch is uh. controversial in the fandom rn. i will say for clarity that i am in Party Two and will probably be biased towards that but here's the thing. the Bitch is either:

a digital upload of william afton's soul (somehow escaping hell)

THE MIMIC

Help Wanted Interlude: The Mimic

see, the other books (silver eyes, fazbear frights) are set in a parallel universe-ish to the books, similar rules and worldbuilding but cawthon can fuck around all he wants with no consequences. there were charliebots and springtrap mpreg at one point it was nuts. but the thing is right now they're kinda trying to tell us that the current series, tales from the pizzaplex, is game-canon. god only knows if they'll stick to that so some people think the books are in the game's universe, others think they're parallels to the games and not 1-1 exact much like the others

but anyway they give us crucial lore on The Mimic so here we go

some guy named edwin (some think he's a parallel to henry or william, but rn we're just gonna assume he's canon) is a single dad to a toddler. however he's working for fazbear making all these animatronics and he's sooo busy and needs something to distract the toddler so he creates a fucked up nightmare animatronic called The Mimic, whose programming is extremely basic: "copy whatever you see being done"

the toddler actually loves the fucked up nightmare animatronic and teaches him to play patty-cake and carry around stuffed animals or w/e. anyway then the toddler runs out into the street and gets hit by a car

edwin is still grieving and the mimic comes up carrying the toddler's stuffed animal and still copying him and when the mimic that edwin programmed to copy things is still copying things edwin snaps and just beats the fuck out of it bc he needs a grief outlet. he then abandons the thing but however the mimic has just learned Violence

some employees come by to see where edwin's animatronics are and the mimic just starts killing all of them bc. well. it's supposed to copy things. it will copy things

there's a BIG GAP here in what happens to it next but it disappears for the next 30 years. however it is heavily, HEAVILY implied that it witnessed at least one of the missing children incidents

fazbear actually has a Lot of mimic endoskeletons but bc they start copying violent shit they shut them all down. however they all run on the same program, "mimic1" and fazbear keeps that tech around cause you know it could be helpful

Back to Help Wanted

now here is where the "we only THINK this is canon we dont knkow yet" comes in

back to the vr game, they are just shoving random old pieces of code in there to speefd up the process of making the game cause capitalism doesnt like long development times. this puts the mimic1 program into the program and it immediately sees All Of Afton's Crimes In 4K. it decides "oh yeah i can mimic this but i should probably get a physical body in order to do that"

so beta tester jeremy sees the mimic program, which takes the form of Spring Bonnie Suit. this is Glitchtrap

now keep in mind that some people do still believe that all this aint happenin and the spring bonnie glitch is just william. again i personally believe the mimic cause it makes more sense than "william escaped hell somehow" but w/e

anyway, glitchtrap is fuckin around. it tries to possess beta tester jeremy and in order to stop it, jeremy does the sensible thing and cuts his own face off

so glitchtrap is like "hmm. that didn't work out" and decides to go for the more subtle approach. the next beta tester, currently unnamed, starts recording tapes inside the game to send to the next beta tester so they dont fuck with glitchtrap. glitchtrap however seals itself inside the tapes so that when the beta testers try to delete it, it'll instead be inside the tapes and cant be removed lmao. it then "mimics" tape girl's voice and adds a last tape saying "let him possess you its ok i promise"

it also mimics her intro of "hello can you hear me" in the one time it speaks so. mimic

anyway the next beta tester is this gal named vanessa and she gets possessed like suuuper quickly and glitchtrap is like "oh fucking FINALLY"

Security Breach Therapy Tapes

vanessa's acting weird at work so company requires her to go to therapy, however she has the same therapist as Another Patient. this patient will be named later however right now we're calling them Patient 46. they do not talk but have the same therapist as Vanessa and is creepy about it. anyway whenever a therapist prods too much into either Vanessa or P46's life, or discovers them fucking with fazbear tech, the therapist mysteriously goes missing and shows up later dead and mangled by machinery

they go through like five of these bitches at least, but it's clear P46 is another bitch possessed by glitchtrap but they're like more possessed than vanessa is so glitchtrap likes them better

BUT THAT'S ALL BORING, WE'VE GOT A PIZZAPLEX NOW!!!

Security Breach

fazbear opens a giant 80s-style mall with a ton of attractions like disneyland or w/e and call it the Mega Pizzaplex. There's state-of-the-art animatronics in here that are basically sentient ai. they might be possessed but we're not actually sure rn they might just be advanced robots

they start with "glamrock" freddy, bonnie and chica, along with roxy wolf instead of foxy. we're not sure why rn. anyway at some point something suspicious happens and bonnie is found mangled and he's replaced with montgomery gator, a c-list animatronic they had to run the golf course. he doesnt seem to take the spotlight well and has started breaking things but its probably fine

anyway they eventually realize they can automate the staff and stop paying human beings and they jump on that cause they love cutting costs. they've got staffbots everywhere except for ONE person- vanessa, who is hired as the security guard. we find a note saying that her interviewer found her too inexperienced for the position, but someone "very" high up in the company pushed her into the role. this is implied to be glitchtrap taking over the systems

so vanessa and P46 are shoving glitchtrap into the systems because, well, guess what? the pizzaplex is built on top of the fnaf6 location. the one where henry set them all on fire, and they're trying to do some sort of shit with the burnt remains of springtrap. if you believe in william!glitchtrap he's trying to get his body back; if you believe in mimic!glitchtrap he's trying to fuse himself to afton's corpse in order to gain a corporeal form. it also helps that there is The OG Mimic Endoskeleton in this area (its explained in the books im not going into it) but it's pretty fuckin damaged so they gotta spend some time fixing it before fusing it with peepaw's corpse

but the night they're supposed to do that, something goes wrong: a child is loose in the pizzaplex

glamrock freddy had a malfunction onstage, and when he wakes up in his room, there is a child hiding in his stomach compartment (used for oversized piñatas and cakes). this child is named gregory and he looks suspiciously like the crying child and we dont have an explanation for that but no, matpat, he's not a robot, it's probably just symbolism

anyway gregory actually has like very little memory of what's going on and barely remembers his own name but he says that vanessa the security guard is trying to fuckin kill him so he needs to get tf out of the pizzaplex. freddy's like "well you're shit out of luck cause the doors close and seal until 6am but that's fine we can make it til then" and gregory's like "fucking JOY"

long story short gregory has to run around the pizzaplex while every animatronic but freddy is trying to kill him. freddy is not trying to kill him bc his malfunction caused him to enter Safe Mode and it turns out that Safe Mode is safe from the glitchtrap virus. everyone else, however, gets glitchtrapped and is trying to kill this kid

you dont find out why until like laaaate in the game and even THEN you're confused until one of the goosebumps-knockoff short stories confirms a thing, and that thing is:

gregory is patient 46

oh shit

turns out gregory was possessed by glitchtrap for FUCK knows how long and was used as its body for like the entire time. and when he eventually wakes up un-possessed (no idea how that happened) he has no memory of whats going on at ALL and is understandably fucking terrified. doesnt remember being possessed or killing ppl or anything he just wakes up and runs. glam freddy likely malfunctioned cause glitchtrap was like "oh my god go GET that stupid kid" and glam freddy was like "but???? protecc????" and entered safe mode

so gregory eventually fuckin DEMOLISHES all the other animatronics and uses their parts to upgrade freddy. freddy is like "hey where'd you get these parts" and gregory's like "uhhhhhhhhh dont worry about it" "hey where are my friends" "DONT WORRY ABOUT IT"

while this is happening, a possessed vanessa is in a bunny suit calling herself vanny and also trying to kill him. this is just as confusing to us as it is to you

anyway there are six endings to security breach. according to the most recent game, there is a chance that two of them are canon. WE DO NOT KNOW which of the two is canon. these are the endings:

Princess Quest Ending: greg and freddy try to confront vanny and she gets freddy ripped apart by staffbots. gregory then finds an arcade game in her room and plays and beats it which sets her soul free (presumably he knew how to do this cause he's remembering bits and pieces of being possessed??? idk). anyway once the game is beat she is unpossessed and takes gregory and freddy's decapitated head out of the pizzaplex

Burntrap Ending: gregory and freddy avoid vanny and go to the fnaf6 basement where freddy starts acting all fucked up and then thtey find the Springtrap corpse, now Burntrap (fused with the mimic? glitchtrap? yknow). it tries to kill them so you have to Boss Fight everything and then set him on fire again. THEN a tangled mess of animatronic wires with a funtime freddy head (remains of ennard???) shows up and drags him off. again, just as confusing for us as it is for you. freddy and gregory escape. no idea where vanessa is

ONE of these is canon. we do not know which. this is making the fanbase super chill and normal /lying

Evidence for Princess Quest: in ruin, we see a headless glamrock freddy in the exact same area he is in pq. we also have no sign of vanny trying to help glitchtrap. you can collect gregory's fanart of his own game and pq is the only one he didn't draw. princess quest arcade game has sword sticking out of it

Evidence against Princess Quest: aforementioned headless freddy is labelled a prototype on his foot and we know for a fact that our freddy does not have that stamp. he also has a gift inside his stomach when freddy gave his stomach gift to gregory already (and it was a diff color). the pq arcade game has sword sticking out of it BUT that could symbolize the princess being skewered, and surrounding the game is art of the escaped glitchbunny

Evidence for Burntrap: labelled as "true ending" in the files, only ending to be FULLY animated instead of switching to comic form and also only one with boss fight, the tangled animatronic mess is definitely canon (we see it, gregory draws it so he saw it too which means he went in the basement where it was), while vanny isn't seen her grafitti is everywhere and appears to be recent

Evidence against Burntrap: the "true ending" label, like cassidy, could mean literally fucking anything. also if vanessa is still under his control why the fuck doesnt she help him where is she

so yeah we're having fun figuring THAT out

Ruin (the end so far thank god)

the most recent game we got, then, was the dlc for the above game, this dlc is called ruin. a few months after this, a lil girl named cassie wanders into the ruins of the pizzaplex cause her best friend gregory told her to meet him there. when she gets there she finds a walkie-talkie and he's like "girl im trapped under the pizzaplex you need to shut down the security and come get me" and she's like "sounds great"

she finds vanny's mask and puts it on and enters an AR world where a glitched bunny is trying to kill her (this one isnt glitchtrap actually) and a friendly little AR bear is telling her to keep going she's doing a great job (this one IS glitchtrap probably)

anyway it turns out her backstory is her dad worked for the pizzaplex and she had a birthday party there with her Favorite Character Roxy and literally none of her friends showed up. she was sad about it until gregory showed up and became her friend. then gregory went missing and she was sad

anyway the last security node is favorite character Roxy and roxy recognizes her and is nice to her and its very sad

cassie eventually goes down to the fnaf6 basement and is like "ok gregory i opened the door are you okay" and PSYCH, IT'S NOT GREGORY

IT'S

THE

MIMIC

the mimic immediately tries to kill her bc it likes violence but roxy shows up to save her. the real gregory calls her on the walkie-talkie and is like "bITCH GET OUT OF THERE" and she's like "IM TRYING" and gregory's "friend" (whose pronouns are very specifically blurred out, so it could be either freddy or vanessa) uses the building maps to help her to an elevator. however when she gets in the elevator gregory's like "yeahhhhh sorry we cant let you be followed :(" and drops the elevator, trapping her there

it's like a 99% chance this last bit was not gregory but it was the mimic, seeing as gregory is not even in the pizzaplex and the mimic lost cassie right next to the elevator fuse box that it could easily rip out. so you know

anyway we end with either roxy finding cassie or the mimic using roxy's voice finding her so this kid's fucked lmao

also other questions about if mimic is burntrap is that we see the mimic p naked in this game and not in a fun corpse skinsuit so where did bunny go??? however i will also mention that there is a secret ending that shows us that the FUCKING SCOOPER is here so. personally i think that answers that question. get scooped idiot

oh also if you noticed "hey 'cassie' sounds a lot like 'cassidy,' the golden freddy kid who was sharing a body with the crying child, who has a similar design to gregory," congrats! we've noticed that too! we have no fucking idea what it means! :D

and thaaaaat's five nights at freddy's

that didnt take too long did it

[afterthegreatunknown]

A Headcanon Regarding the Violet’s Father Debate

Beatrice Baudelaire. A talented actress and performer whose charming ways wins anyone over, who has a high-standing rank due to being a Baudelaire, one of two oldest VFD Families. And with a great dislike for it, this defaults Beatrice getting more respect and recognition.

Such respect and recognition surely mean Violet Baudelaire’s father is also of equal standing.

And Bertrand B. is one of equal standing. While new to the organization, he became The Golden Boy™ of his generation. He is the volunteer who all the older volunteers of the previous generation think can do no wrong. He is the volunteer in Bertrand’s generation who is well-respected and generally like.

But Lemony Snicket is also of equal standing, and it’s not just because he’s born into an old VFD Family. A trouble-making volunteer, he can show how driven he is when it comes to goals, which is admirable to those of his generation. And his devotion to those he cares for makes him well-liked and generally respected.

Clearly, Beatrice having two lovers that are evenly match means almost everyone should spend time debating the biological identity of Violet Baudelaire’s father. They wouldn’t be doing so if Beatrice, Bertrand, and Lemony told everyone themselves to avoid the debate.

The thing is, the three don’t care. Beatrice, Bertrand, and Lemony, after a very discreet meeting, agree that biological shouldn’t matter to the identity of Violet’s father. They all agree that Bertrand is Violet’s father. Bertrand is the one who was there when Violet was born. Bertrand is the one who [will] raise Violet alongside Beatrice. Bertrand is the one who Beatrice pick to start a family with. And Lemony holds no ill-will towards Bertrand for being the one Beatrice picked, as well as holding no ill-ill towards Beatrice for picking the one who can be there to support her and her child.

With Beatrice, Bertrand, and Lemony having pick their positions, it’s time to know the others.

Team ‘Lemony is Violet’s Bio-Dad’:

Esme (Believes Lemony and Beatrice forgot to use protection. She also thinks it’s amusing and pathetic that Bertrand is raising someone else’s child.)

Kit (More often than not, Kit thinks Violet is Lemony’s child, because she wants Lemony to be around in the most unlikely ways. This led to fights with Jacques.)

Frank (Based off the timing of the breakup and when Beatrice and Bertrand went to the Island. He is convinced they know the truth and lying.)

Ernest (Follows Frank’s logic. However, he thinks Beatrice and Bertrand went to the Island without knowing, so they’re convince Violet isn’t Lemony’s daughter.)

R (Follows Frank’s logic. R also asked Lemony upright, being one the few he kept contact during this time period but got no answer.)

Gustav (Because of all the constant drama, he just picks a side on the fly in case they have to state their opinion on the matter.)

Olivia (Flat out asked Beatrice and Bertrand if Violet is Lemony’s kid, leading to the couple to say no. Olivia is convinced they’re lying to her.)

Ellington (She found copies of ASOUE at a few bookstores, and she draws her own conclusions without any influences what-so-ever.)

Team ‘Bertrand is Violet’s Bio-Dad’: 

Olaf (By ASOUE, he’s running under the logic ‘the couple that slayed together, have kids together.’ Before, Olaf was convinced Lemony is a prude who used protection)

Jacques (As much as he wants Violet to be Lemony’s child, Jacques can never find traces of Lemony in Violet’s face, which lead to many fights with Kit.)

Josephine (Is convinced Violet is a premature child. Due to eventually losing contact with Beatrice and Bertrand, she never got her answer for sure.)

Ike (Due to an ill-spoken rumor that relates to Gregor being Fiona’s biological father, Ike chooses to believe Bertrand isn’t raising someone else’s child.)

Widdershins (Believes the timing works better with Betrand as Violet’s father than Lemony. Might factor with Widdershins believing the false reports of Lemony.)

Miranda (She was after all, on the Island with Beatrice and Bertrand. She knows of Beatrice’s past with Lemony, but Miranda is certain Violet is Bertrand’s child.)

Ishmael (Arrived on the Island when Beatrice was in her Third Trimester, and therefore assumed Betrand is the father. He did briefly consider Lemony is Violet’s biological father after reading the in-universe ASOUE book, but reject it.)

Moxie (Random Headcanon Time! I think there’s several Editors: Awful Editor, Dreadful Editor, and Kind Editor. Moxie is the Kind Editor, after she and Lemony semi-got back in contact. After hearing everything of the topic from the horse’s mouth that is Lemony, Moxie is all, “Yeah, Bertrand is Violet’s father.”)

Team: ‘Wait, are you serious? This is an actual topic of debate?’ Also Known as: Team ‘Haven’t decided yet’: 

Fernald (He knew the topic exist because he once saw Kit and Jacques getting into an argument about it, but it’s TEE when Fernald realize it’s a serious topic because Olaf and Esme ask about his stance and panic answers, “Unsure.”).

The rest of the Acting Troupe (Olaf and Esme started to argue about it again post TVV but pre-THH. They asked Fernald if they should get involve. Fernald tells them not to worry over it for now and they roll with it.)

Hugo, Colette, Kevin (Olaf and Esme got into another argument in TPP but because they’re the only remaining ‘Troupe’ left they can’t ask anyone what the hell they’re talking about so they’re just confused.)

The rest of the Associates (Whenever Ellington shows up to visit Moxie, the two sometimes get into arguments about it. Everyone is quiet when it happens. While they know Moxie is in contact of sorts with Lemony, they have no idea how serious of a topic it is between the two women until they see the arguments themselves.)

Team ‘Bertrand is Violet’s Bio-Dad’…but only because they have no idea of the theory Lemony is Violet’s Bio-Dad:

All of the Unfortunate Generation (Why should they know?)

Dewey (He was hiding away from the world before Fiona was born. Him meeting Violet when Beatrice and Bertrand visiting him was a nice, sweet surprise, and the couple didn’t want to ask if he heard of the theory from his brothers to ruin said meeting. Ernest and Frank —and later on Kit and others who do visit Dewey— never told Dewey their opinion because they want Dewey to be happy for his friends getting together and having a daughter/eventual family.)

Monty (He was traveling when the Violet’s Father Debate was at its highest, and came back after Beatrice and Bertrand’s return, when Violet was almost one year old. No one told Monty their opinions/informed him of the theory Lemony is Violet’s Bio-Dad because they want Monty to be happy his friends got together and had a daughter/eventual family while away.)

Charles (Think Bertrand is Violet’s Bio-Dad because Kit told him via letter when she was [back to] thinking Bertrand is Violet’s Bio-Dad.)

Hector (Isolated at the Village of Fowl Devotee after Fiona was born, but before Violet was born. Thinks Bertrand is Violet’s Bio-Dad due to Ike and Josephine.)

Georgina (Began her isolation in Paltryville before Violet was born, so the last things she heard is “Lemony is dead” and “Beatrice and Bertrand went to the Island.” Upon hearing word Beatrice and Bertrand came back from the Island and they now have a baby, Georgina is convinced Bertrand took advantage of Beatrice’s grief)

Phil + Hal (Naturally assumes the Baudelaires share the same father; in Phil’s case being on the Crew of Two on the Queequeg has Widdershins never telling him about this debate, and in Hal’s case Kit didn’t think about telling him about the debate)

Theodora + Jerome (Also naturally assumes that the Baudelaires share the same father. Both knew Beatrice and Lemony were a thing. Jerome figured Beatrice only decided to raise a family after becoming serious with Bertrand. In Theodora’s case, she believed Beatrice got pregnant on the Island, and it went from there.)

Half of the Original Schism Generation (Ex: Monty’s Sister, Adeline. Follows Theodora’s logical because it makes the most sense.)

Team ‘Can You All Shut the Ever-Loving F*CK UP’: 

Sally (Hearing the debate so much got to where Sally wanted to hear nothing about Beatrice, Bertrand, and Lemony for weeks. It got so bad, she once stopped talking to Gustav and other associates’ mid-way in conversations whenever it’s brought up.)

Larry + Haruki (Would have picked a side if people kept it as a minor thing but it got too large of a matter at hand, and two collectively went, “Fuck you we pick none!”)

Raymond ‘Q’ Quagmire + Joan Quagmire + Joan’s Triplet Sisters’ Alex and Lindsey (Raymond and Joan made cards that says if anyone brings up the topic in any of their presence, they have to pay a $1000 dollar fine. Alex and Lindsey made it a permanent ban topic by threatening everyone to change the fine to $10, 000 dollars)

Thursday (Miranda never told him the theory about Lemony being Violet’s Bio-Dad. He only knows about because Kit unnecessary told him the theory without him having a choice on the matter on day over a cup of Turkish coffee. Whenever Kit tries to bring it up again Thursday excuses himself from the table and hides out in the restroom/makes an excuse to cut their meeting short.)

TMWBBNH and TWWHBNB (Think the Baudelaires are small potatoes in the grand schemes of things. It’s not their concern and they are able to get Olaf and Esme to shut up about it before they even argue about it whenever around.)

Team Dead and Therefore Excluded:

Pretty much any dead character by the ASOUE Period, canonically or assumed otherwise (Ex: Gregor, the other half of the Original Schism Generation like Dashiell, N Caliban because I headcanon N is dead, and others not mentioned here.)

[agaypanic]

Hey could I request a klaus x reader where the reader is around his age and works for VFD (as a singer for her cover but is actually someone who charms people for information yk) but is like super lonely because all their attention isnt really/longterm but klaus and the reader fall in love anyway ( also if you could add him confessing at like a masquerade ball but the reader almost gets killed by count olaf kinda like the lemony and Beatrice flashback ) sorry for the long and specific request

The Siren and The Bookworm (Klaus Baudelaire X Reader)

Masterlist

Request Something!

Summary: As a siren, all the attention you received was fake or short lived. But your new partner proves to be an outlier.

A/N: Klaus and reader have been working for the VFD for a few years, so they’re in their early twenties. Count Olaf didn’t die at the end of the series. Klaus confesses after the ball instead of during it. Also based off of the ball scene from Cruella. One more also, this is my last ASOUE fic!!! So I hope you enjoy

***

It felt simple, almost fun working for the VFD. Given your unique ability, you did much of your work and investigation at parties. You were a singer, but you had a certain charisma that made you able to get anyone to tell you anything. You loved it; the attention, the trust. 

But it never lasted. It was always temporary. When you were done getting the information you needed, you’d move on, and the person you had talked to would forget all about you and your conversations. But at least you always had the stage to return to, your one constant.

Although it felt easy, VFD work was sometimes dangerous. So, after a few minor incidents of being followed or getting found out, the VFD assigned you a partner to accompany you on missions and such. His name was Klaus Baudelaire, the son of the late VFD alumni Bertrand and Beatrice Baudelaire. A lot of the time, when you were undercover, he acted as your bodyguard. This amused you because he was better at reading about defensive strategy than practicing it. But it was still nice to have his company. 

You were first assigned to each other a few months ago. It was strange to form an actual relationship with someone. But after some time, you two became best friends despite your differences. The characters you portrayed accurately depicted your true selves in a way. You were known as The Siren, where being charming and open was just as important as your voice when you were put in front of the microphone. And when Klaus joined the VFD, he was lovingly nicknamed The Bookworm, for his mind was like an endless library that constantly desired to be filled.

You knew you shouldn’t get close. Eventually, he’d be like everyone else, a distant memory. But knowing that didn’t stop you from falling.

You were getting ready in your hotel room when Klaus came in. He was practically itching to leave, because this mission was especially important to him. The VFD had heard whispers of someone who was finally seen after years of hiding. And after years of attempts, he was seen in the limelight. Klaus knew this man all too well, and because of his stories, it felt like you knew him just as personally.

Count Olaf was now known as a talented and famous theater actor, instead of a murderer, kidnapper, and child endangerer. You don’t know how he did it. From Klaus’ stories, Count Olaf seemed to completely lack any sort of talent beyond fooling foolish adults with disguises. You and Klaus couldn’t understand why people were so favorable to him now, but you guessed that it had something to do with the fame and people having their opinion of someone so easily swayed.

The VFD wanted Count Olaf put away once and for all, which was why you were getting ready to go to a press event in his honor and why Klaus was practically about to push you out of your chair and into the car.

“Y/n, please hurry. The car’s here.” You couldn’t blame Klaus for his excitement. He had been wanting revenge on Count Olaf since he was first placed in his care. And although Klaus wasn’t a violent person, he was itching for justice to be served in any sense possible.

“I’m almost done, Klaus, I promise.” You sighed, applying a final touch of lipstick before standing from your chair. As you moved, you felt your dress was looser than it should’ve been and realized it wasn’t zipped. “Klaus, can you zip me up?”

“Uh, yeah.” If you were paying closer attention, you would’ve seen that he had a harsh blush on his cheeks and was about to choke on his spit when he answered you. But you were too focused on the tasks ahead of you. He zipped your dress up, being gentle in a way like he was almost scared to touch you. But you didn’t comment on it. “Ready?” You turned to see an outstretched hand. You took it, and the two of you made your way down to the car provided by the VFD.

“You remember the plan?” You asked as the driver took you to your destination. You fiddled with the ring on your pinky as you thought about it. This was probably the most risky mission you had participated in in all your years working for the VFD.

“Yes.” Of course, Klaus remembered the plan; he remembered everything. “And you’ll be okay.” He grabbed your hand and squeezed it tightly to emphasize what he had said. It wasn’t a question; it was a statement. A fact. Even though what’s supposed to happen hasn’t happened yet, Klaus believed that everything would work out perfectly. Despite the series of unfortunate events that he had to endure in his child, he was such an optimist at times. 

“I’ll be okay.” You repeated after him. If you said it enough times, it was sure to be true.

Count Olaf resided in a mansion on a cliff. The drive to the estate was long, and the view was incredible from any part of the property you stood on. Clearly, he was doing well for himself.

When the driver stopped in front of the mansion, littered with guests coming in and hanging around the entrance, Klaus stepped out first before reaching for your hand to help you out of the car. Immediately there were murmurs and gasps as the lights touched your face. It was funny how your undercover persona was more known than the person you actually were. It seemed very counterintuitive. Count Olaf’s doorman greeted you and Klaus when you reached the doors.

“Ms. Hent, it’s such an honor. The Count will be most pleased by your arrival.” He smiled at you and then glanced at your partner. “And this is?”

“This is my bodyguard, and plus one. I don’t go anywhere without him.” You grinned, signaling for Klaus to introduce himself.

“Hembro Kotow, how do you do?” It was Klaus’ idea to use anagrams to form your identities. And it was your idea to use your nicknames for each other to turn into anagrams because if someone could unscramble your fake names, they still wouldn’t know your real ones. So you, The Siren, were also Ires Hent. And Klaus the Bookworm was Hembro Kotow. Klaus felt somewhat ashamed about the idea because he had gotten it from Count Olaf and his antics from when he’d chase him and his siblings around for their fortune. He hated that he had learned something actually useful from the crazed lunatic.

Before you knew it, you were on the stage in the main room, because of course Count Olaf would have a stage in his house. As you sang, you scanned the crowd to find your host. Everyone was masked because Count Olaf seemed to love secret identities. You and Klaus didn’t participate in the masquerade part of the ball, because the vital part of your undercover work was to be seen.

After a few songs, you found him chatting it up with a guest by the doors that lead to the back courtyard. As you sang the final note, the crowd turned their attention to you and started to applaud, Count Olaf being one of them. He smirked, and although you were disgusted, this was part of the plan. You nodded to Klaus, and he accompanied you on your journey through the sea of people.

“I’ll give you five minutes with him before I send everyone out,” Klaus whispered, hand pressed to the small of your back to guide you. “And I’m being very gracious by giving you that much time.”

“Five minutes is all I need.” You whispered back. “And stop worrying; I’ll be okay.”

“You’ll be okay.” He repeated softly.

“Count Olaf, it’s such a pleasure to finally meet you.” You gave a sweet smile to the man when you finally reached him. He immediately brushed off whoever he previously talked to and focused on you. He grabbed your hand, and you pretended to be delighted when he kissed the back of it.

“Believe me, Ires Hent, the pleasure is all mine.”

“This is such a beautiful home. Absolutely magnificent.” 

“Perhaps you’d like to see more of it?”

“I’d love to.” You linked your arm with his and gave Klaus a nod that said, ‘I’ll be right back, don’t follow me,’ and although this was all part of the plan, he wished he didn’t have to leave you alone with Count Olaf. “Could we see the ocean first?”

“Of course.” Count Olaf led you out of the mansion, and the two of you walked through the courtyard to get to the edge of the cliff that was fenced off by cobblestone structures. “Who was that man you’re with? He seemed familiar.”

You tried not to panic. After all, Count Olaf hadn’t seen Klaus in years, and he had grown up and matured a lot since their last meeting. Or at least you hoped. 

“Oh, just my bodyguard, Hembro. He came from Canada a few months ago.”

“So why isn’t he here now, guarding you?”

“I don’t necessarily think you’re someone I should be guarded from.” There was a flirtatious tone in your voice, even though you wished nothing more than to be away from this man. Count Olaf smirked, and soon, you two were looking out at the sea. “This view is absolutely marvelous.”

“It really is.” Count Olaf sighed, glancing at you. You caught it and had to play along. 

“Very handsome.” You said, turning to lean against the fencing while facing him. You played with the lapel of his suit jacket, wishing it was someone else’s. It was bad enough that he was so much older than you, but the fact that you knew of all the things he had done, especially towards someone you care so deeply about? It made you sick to your stomach. You hated having to act so pleasantly toward a monster. But it would all be over soon. He gripped your hips to pull you closer. “You wanna know a secret?”

“Oh, how I love secrets.” You leaned forward to put your mouth to his ear. In the distance, you saw Klaus talking to different groups of people inside, gesturing to the courtyard. Slowly but surely, they started gathering outside.

“Well, this is a good one.” You took a deep breath, preparing yourself for the inevitable. “The VFD found you, and they’re ready to put you away for everything that everyone else had forgotten about.”

“What?” He hissed, squeezing you tighter. You tried not to grimace from the slight pain. You had to stay strong and confident. “Who the hell are you, and what do you know about the VFD?” You decided to not answer that question.

“I guess it was a mistake to chase the spotlight, Count Olaf. Now the only light you’ll be seeing is from a jail cell.” He turned you around quickly, pushing your body against the stone barrier. 

“I don’t think so, Darling.” He said with a sick grin. You gulped. “I think it’s time for you to see what you wanted to see.”

“Which is?” You asked, trying to wiggle your way out of his grip.

“The ocean.” His grip was soon off your body, and you were free-falling off the side of the cliff. The last thing you heard was gasps of horror before your plummet took you too far down to see or hear anything else.

Count Olaf turned around, shocked for once that he had an audience. His guests looked at their host in horror, murmuring about how they just watched the Count push the famous Siren off his cliff.

“What?” He glanced back, realizing what they had seen. “She jumped. Everyone, I know how distressing this must seem. But Ms. Hent was deranged, threatening to take me with her.” He was putting on the performance of a lifetime, but it wasn’t to convince the audience this time. “She jumped.”

But they didn’t believe him. Soon, the police (who were secretly VFD agents) came and arrested Count Olaf for the murder of Ires Hent. He screamed as he was being dragged off, talking about how it wasn’t what it looked like and how he was innocent.

Klaus sighed as he walked to the car that had returned to pick him up. He prayed you were okay, even though he knew you were. After all, this was all part of the plan.

Knowing the layout of Count Olaf’s party and his murderous tendencies, the VFD had fashioned you a gown that was both expensive looking and practical for getting thrown at sea to your death in. The skirt’s volume hid the fact that it could also be used as a parachute. You were able to guide yourself into the water, close enough to the shore that you wouldn’t risk getting pulled back into the sea. You insisted to the VFD (more Klaus than anyone else) that you could make your way back to the hotel on your own, and to not send a car for you to avoid the risk of drawing attention. Using VFD tunnels beneath the city, you secretly made it to the hotel. When you opened the door to your room, you were squeezed and lifted in the air.

“Oh, thank God.” Klaus sighed, keeping you close to him as he rested his head against yours. “I knew you’d be okay, but then the minutes kept passing, and I kept thinking the worst.”

“I’m okay.” You combed your fingers through his hair which seemed to help calm him. You pulled him away from nuzzling further into you to press your forehead to his. “We’re both okay.”

“We’re okay.” He repeated, still refusing to let you go. He needed the comfort of knowing you were still alive, and you’d be a fool to deny both him and yourself that. He put a hand on the side of your face, stroking your cheekbone with his thumb. He pulled away just enough to look at you. It was like he wanted to say something, ask you something. But he didn’t know how.

Even though he was the Bookworm, you knew how to read him. “Please.” The simple word drove him forward, pressing his lips to yours and pulling you as close to his body as physically possible. The kiss had so many unsaid words: ‘Thank God you didn’t die,’ ‘I’ve been in love with you for quite some time,’ ‘Never do something so crazy and risky like that again because I can’t lose you.’ Yet none of the words had to be said. Deep down, you had both known for a while. It just needed almost dying to confirm it all.

[metallica-jk]

Time for cover analysis of Glorious Rivals!

If you've seen my board, you may already know a few of my ideas for the book but if not then here is an essay about it! (mwahahaha)

The Mask- Everyone is talking about the colour of the mask but i think that's only to match the colour of the cover. BUT, if im wrong, i would suppose it means another Masquerade ball? Or flashbacks to it from a different perspective than it was originally written in? (what i mean by that is it was written in like Gigi's perspective and i swear Lyra's??)

The chain- I feel like thats representing Savannah and Rohan. The locket thing on it looks more like a clock though...but my eyes may deceiving me guys so dont trust my words!

The way it clashes with the gears, which in the previous books were on the exit door of the escape room Savannah and Rohan were in, shows that maybe something happens in that room again? Maybe a shmexy little intimate makeout scene? (*evil laughter noises*)

There's a hidden Omega sign that i feel might mean the end of the games? Or the end to something, at least.

The dart- In my opinion, this has either got to do with Brady for some reason, or another challenge in the games. Maybe its a passageway or like in a series of unfortunate events, its poisoned and someone dies? (i pray thats wrong but idk asoue came up when i saw a dart sorry guysss)

Sword connected to chain- Once again, In my opinion, this has got to be Grayson and Lyra. The sword has represented Grayson before, so i dont see why it shouldnt now. Now that i think about it, it could also be a game, or something to do with Gigi's kidnapping. But im sticking to Grayson and Lyra.

Also, to add to that, i feel like the sword is smaller since this book isnt really about THEIR relationship rather than Rohan's and Savannah's.

That leads me to THE DIAMOND- If yall have seen my board, I wrote in capitals "BYE BYE DIAMONDS?!"- what i mean by that is that last book, the cover had the clubs thing on it. And that team lost the game. (Ya'll lost the game too...iykyk) So i think that the diamonds might lose this game. But since Savvy is as much of a sore loser as Rohan, They're gonna make some *Drama*. Like our dear little Savvy said that she will reveal to the world what Avery did, Obviously also our sour british Rohan needs to win to prove himself, but since he loses, he wants revenge. And...BOOM! WE HAVE DRAMA!!! (*Jazz hands!*)

Finally, THE DOMINOES- Mmm maybe they just get pizza? who doesnt love a good dominoes? shit now im hungry...ANYWAY.

To be honest, i have no clue what this could be. Could this be like the dice? everyone gets two and they need to find what it means? Could it just be a gambling game that they do? something Rohan obviously specialises in. It could also stand for a person. But i doubt that.

Ya erm thats all of my little essay/ analysis

Ty if you read it till the end!

Tagging some of my lovely jubbly moots to torture them and make them read this (mwahahaha):

@zuzanna-jadw1ga @shattered-glass-roses @elizaa31 @allofmytoxicity @blocked-zombieartist

[oceanwithouthermoon]

the way some people straight up have no respect for asou's writing is actually kind of insane to me 😭 like youre a fan of HIS manga, but you outwardly express your disregard for the intentions he had when writing....... disregarding canon can be super duper funsies and cool sometimes, but to straight up say "i dont care what he intended and think my headcanons are more canon than what he wrote because i think he wrote it badly/he sucks at writing this dynamic/i dont like the ship (or whatever) he was trying to imply" is literally just insanely disrespectful IN MY OPINION 😖

i think maybe im just annoyed at how badly people misuse the words "canon", "coded", and "implied" (which im also guilty of occasionally- especially when i first came here) cuz like... "i choose not to acknowledge this thing that is canon or technically canon or implied" is fine (usually). "i know what the author intended but i dont like it or care, so im going to call my headcanon/ship canon and anyone who disagrees is disregarding canon and is stupid because i said so" is NOT fine... ☠️☠️☠️

[asoublog]

Shuichi Asou's Opinion on Fanworks?

Hello there! Thank you so much for all the work you do to make information about Shuichi Asou and his works accessible to English speakers. I was wondering if you could help answer a question I had, though feel completely free to ignore me if its too much trouble. Do you know if Shuichi Asou has ever outlined any guidelines for fanart for his works, or otherwise expressed any opinion on fanarts/fanworks?

Hello, thank you for the ask!

Thanks for the kind words! I should post on this blog a bit more while I still have time haha Though I'm happy I still have active readers on here despite my recent inactivity. I appreciate it. I'm always here to answer any questions best to my ability.

But back to the question!

I did a quick search on sensei's twitter to answer this question and I'll try to respond as best as I can! And..

Yeah, I'm pretty sure he's fine with fanworks.

I have found a funny tweet he's made in early 2016 which lead to an interaction that might be what we're looking for. I linked it at the end of this post. (translated it to the best of my ability + used Inspect Element to make it easier to read)

(he mentioned the girl being most likely a SaiKai fan btw) Then, someone lightheartedly replied asking if that letter actually made him angry, to which he responded:

I don't think he has ever said anything else on the matter of any guidelines when it comes to fanfics... So he probably just doesn't care lol

For some more, but anecdotal evidence: I've also heard from some veteran japanese Saiki fans that he doesn't mind fanfics. I myself have a big "Makokuu fan" written on my twitter bio which didn't seem to bother sensei when he complimented my artworks lolol

It's not much, but this is all I could find at this time. :D

Hope this helped!

source: https://x.com/shu1aso/status/690320095663394816

[beatricebidelaire]

highly biased opinion on platonic dynamics of asoue

most insane: beatrice and olaf

most comedic: geraldine and jacques as coworkers

most underrated: jacques and quigley

the equivalent of a warm delicious soup in winter in my heart, comfort on my lowest days: kit and bertrand

[kitsnicket]

I miss the asoue fandom so much….everyone’s so nice so chill….good opinions abound….nothing that makes me wanna do something drastic…….

[whoslaurapalmer]

sorry for unfollowing and following, I misclicked trying to send an ask;

reverse unpopular opinion ask thing: ASOUE 2004 movie?

totally okay, i figured that was the case!!

there are! definitely a lot of little things that i also enjoy about the 2004 movie ~

-the way hurricane herman played out in the movie was AMAZING. that's always going to be the first thing i bring up from the movie and the most incredible part of it. truly threatening, really feels like a hurricane. -the aesthetic of the movie was also fun! i liked how dark and close everything felt, the clothes, those tree branches sticking out of the water on briny beach, the way all the little creatures and things looked......all the gears in the clock lemony's in.......ALL THE FOG.......it wasn't, like, perfect, but it was also creating a piece of the atmosphere from the books, too -again, the actual reptile room was SO COOL. both of them have a great sense of thrill and adventure but also. peace and comfort and a home of sorts -and both uncle monty actors are just absolute delights. (-ooo also billy connolly was a murderer on columbo.) -the animated credits??? and the credits music???? beautiful. -to this day, i still think about jane lynch as the realtor and her going "is this a bad time? :)" just. fucking hilarious -"kiwi watermelon supreeese" what a line delivery that was -olaf holding the newspaper with the picture of, i think lon chaney? and then lowering it to reveal him with the same expression. very fun -"doesn't it strike you as odd that none of our relatives are related to us?" it makes me giggle. -i really like violet having the sentiment of "there's always something", i think that's a really interesting take on how her brain works and how she sees inventions and their potential, how she sees the world around her. being able to use whatever's nearby, and like a determination, a resolution to not give up despite what's happening around her, but also really pushes how, as the eldest, she knows she has to be responsible for her siblings. there has to be something she can do so of course there's always something because she's going to make that something -oh the wide window!! i mean like the actual window in aunt josephine's house!!! with the big crank that pulls open the window shade from the middle!!!! ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE. stunning. kind of scary. -i think the movie hit on some of the real fear in the books. not all the time, but there were moments where like, the spirit of it rang true to something in the books. like with the car on the train tracks, too -and like the letter the kids get at the end, i like the SPIRIT of the letter. i love the idea of the kids finding this piece of their parents they weren't expecting, because that happens in canon!!! that happens in the end!!!!! when they find the book on the island!!!!!!! so i like the thought of the letter. i like the physical look of that scene too, with all the sun. at the heart of it is something very precious. -i've said it before but i remember being, yknow, a kid in 2004 and being so HYPED for this movie, my whole class being into the series and excited about it, seeing the movie for my friend's birthday, the tie-in lunchables, i got the nickelodeon magazine at the time and they had interviews with the actors and with danhan (the photo was of him like sitting at a laundromat or something?? and the caption said 'this is danhan lemony's representative, lemony is hiding somewhere in this photo' and the TIME i spent staring at this photograph, trying to figure out where i thought a person could hide in it), it was, like with the show, exciting!!! thrilling!!! especially as a kid!!!!!

[thelolpizzayummers]

ALRIGHT YALL TIME FOR LE INTRODUCTION

Before we Start, any body in the Sprunki Fandom please follow my Ask Blog @askpinkisprunki!! Ty!

Hello everyone! So you wish to know about this user? Well c'mon in!

Fandoms that are welcomed here

TMNT

Dandy's world

TTTE (Thomas the Tank Engine/Thomas and Friends)

Sprunki

Tf2

FPE (Fundamental Paper Education)

Boondocks

OSC (The Object Show Community)

SCP

ASOUE (A Series of Unfortunate Events)

My Singing Monsters

Sam and Max

Yandere Simulator (I DONT SUPPORT THE CREATOR.)

Class of 09

Smiling Friends

Sailor Moon

Your favorite martian

INTERACT IF...

• your in any of the fandoms I just listed

• you support lgbt or is an Ally!

• doesn't criticize people for how they look, what their religion/belief is or their opinions (unless it's problematic)

• if you are around the 12-21age mark (anybody under or up I will not interact with, don't be slick and say ur a different age now. I WILL FIND OUT...

•Scenecore,Emo,Grunge,Goth,Kid core,Coffee and Cottage core kids!!!

Eh..just don't comment on my posts.

• any body who's age is 7-11 or 22+

• Non LGBTQ Supporters (I understand if it's for religious reasons but I don't want you around me as a lgbt person myself..)

• People who don't show respect for others.

• Narcissist ass people.

DON'T FOLLOW, LIKE,OR COMMENT IF.

• Zoophiles,Racist,paraphiles,pedos, Necrophiliacs, people with kinks.

• people who are attention seekers or literally try disrespecting anybody with something they said.

• people who hate Neourdivergent people.

• "Fememists"

• 27+

With that outta the way. Check diz out!