#asking both men and women

[antiterf]

Tired of people applying concepts of gender and gender hierarchy specifically made for cis people to trans people and thinking we're the problem when we point out that it doesn't fit.

[our-lesboy-experience]

Exclusionists try to use their common sense and search up the definitions of the labels before shitting on them challenge (impossible).

''Lesboys r just cishet men trying to infiltrate lesbian spaces'' I've never seen a single lesboy who identify as a binary cis man. It is a term mostly used by multigender/genderfluid lesbians.

''Straightbians r just straight ppl who claim to like the lesbian aesthetic'' Their definition comes from s bunch of ragebait who was spreading misinformation about it. It is a term mostly used by multigender/genderfluid lesbians.

''Gaybians are just bisexuals,you cannot be both WLW and MLM,at the same time it makes no sense'' This term is used by genderfluid abrosexual ppl who are WLW when they identify as woman/woman-alligned genders and MLM when they identify as man/man-alligned genders. Them using the term bisexual doesn't make sense since it implys that they feels attraction to two or more genders AT THE SAME TIME.

I can go on,but I don't wanna lose braincells. I just hope one day exclusionists will start using critical thinking skills and start researching abt the labels before spreading false information on them.

Also,notice how all of these labels r used by multigender/genderfluid lesbians? hmm,I wonder why...is it maybe that even if exclusionists claim to support us,they don't really do and see us as dangerous predatory people trying to invade cis lesbian's spaces? 🤔

-⭐️ anon

yeah it's because they don't really care. they'd try to understand, and it's actually typically easy to understand, if they had an open mind

[lgbtlunaverse]

I find myself growing a bit tired of the take that 'we need female mangakas because they won't oversexualize women/they can write female characters well/etc" firstly, it reduces women's art to the exclusively wholesome, which is just factually incorrect, but more importantly: we need female mangakas because women make great fucking art and shouldn't be pushed out of the industry because of misogyny. It's that easy. We don't need a specific thing that ~only women can do well~ for it to be wrong that the industry is so sexist. If every single male mangaka started writing female characters like they've been studying feminist literature for 20 years we'd still need female mangakas.

[beaft]

anyway uncomfortable bathroom experiences are 0% your fault and 100% the fault of people who designed bathrooms to be uncomfortable. the fact that you live in a world where other people made choices that you have to live with does not make those choices yours.

(2/2)

thank you for saying this. i have personally never enjoyed using public bathrooms, even when they're clean and well-maintained, for precisely this reason - and men's bathrooms are so much worse than women's when it comes to privacy. maybe i'd feel differently if i'd been raised male, but the idea of having to pee in front of strangers is just bizarre to me. i also find it baffling when (sorry for the mildly sexist generalisation) groups of girls all go to the bathroom together as a sort of social activity; if anyone can give me an explanation for this one, please do, because i have never understood it.

anyway yes you're completely correct, bathrooms are uncomfortable, and it's much worse when your gender presentation is - like mine - androgynous enough that you're gonna have a bad time no matter which one you use. "the fact that you live in a world where other people made choices that you have to live with does not make those choices yours" is a great way to look at it. might trot that one out next time my mum uses the "you chose this" argument on me

[deva-arts]

zomg... the girls! Sketched out! And a few characters I never showed designs for! haha! I keep thinking about the beach, so this is their swimwear.

I hope to make a full fledged drawing for all of them soon~ then the guys~~

Some newbies are: Aura (blue!) Katya (Gold!) and more of Verra (Green!) We'll eventually see more about them as I draw more things and doodles.

[always-thinking-dirty]

Ughhhh, I wish I saw more things about curvy boys instead of lanky boys 😔

[lavenderfeminist]

it's gaslighting lowkey the way we're treated for making observations. someone who has had consensual sexual relationships with men is not a lesbian. this isn't bullying, it's not scrutiny, it's not weaponization. it's literally just an observation! having consensual sexual relationships with both men and women is the literal definition of bisexuality!

Deadass you’re like “I just don’t think people who aren’t sexually attracted to men would of their own free will do things that people who are sexually attracted to men would do as an expression of that sexual attraction” and they’re like “what are you, the ARBITER of LESBIANISM?” No, so sorry, I just have a working brain and don’t think that mentally healthy people partake in the most vulnerable act of intimacy imaginable with someone they’re not attracted to and then write love songs about it. That seems like a pretty reasonable take but god forbid someone feel the slightest bit guilty about walking all over the half percentage of women on this planet who *don’t* experience any attraction to men.

[musicalsiphonophore]

chat i thought wanting a hug was romantic attraction. and that is the only form of attraction to men i frequently and strongly experience. right.

[hindahoney]

Thank you for your post about the word shiksa. I'd seen similar posts in the past - that you shouldn't call yourself that and it's not a term worth reclaiming - but none of those posts ever properly explained WHY. The best I could ever find was that it's often used to insultingly refer to converts that were married to or planning to marry Jewish men before their conversion as a way to imply their reasoning for becoming a Jew wasn't genuine enough. I didn't understand why that would be something that shouldn't be reclaimed. Knowing that it's a term meant to refer to people that fetishize Jews puts it in an ENTIRELY different light. At least, in my brain, it does. So, yeah, thanks for actually explaining your point.

"Shiksa" cannot be "reclaimed." It's not as if that word has a widely-known history or is used by a hegemonic population to oppress people. There's no need or use for reclamation. A gentile woman calling themselves a shiksa, knowing what it means, seriously makes me feel disgusted. It's the same as someone who fetishizes Asians proudly saying they have "Yellow Fever."

I've never heard that phrase in reference to converts, only towards gentile women who seek out Jewish men specifically. It's more common than people would think. I once invited a Christian friend to a Purim party, where she told me she was just trying to take home one of the men there. This same friend told me she broke up with her Jewish boyfriend because he had been to Israel. Suffice to say we aren't friends anymore. It's incredibly common for (white) Christians specifically to fetishize Jews. It's just expected that all of the Jewish dating apps are unusable because they're full of WASPs looking for Jews.

While there isn't a widely used term for gentile men who fixate on Jewish women, I have seen the term "bagel chasers." I don't like it, because it makes it seem more cutesy and funny than it actually is in real life. It's deeply unsettling and uncomfortable when I'm working and men approach me saying they'd convert for me, or think that saying "shabbat shalom" to me on a Tuesday will make me believe they're also Jewish (and thus someone I should date). There's not a single part of me that thinks it's funny. They see Jews as a novelty and not as people. It's less because they are interested in us, they're interested in conquering us.

[blueskittlesart]

not to be a hater but it does drive me insane how so many online conversations are so centered around sidon and yona (and link 😞) and not any of the delicious narratives that totk gave us

like why should we talk about rauru and sonia and their relationship w zelda? why would we talk about zelda and how her relationship w link progressed post calamity? oh are we gonna talk about the sheer insanity that is ZELDA TURNIJG INTOA. FUCKING DRAGON??? no??? shipping discourse over sharks? ok

not to swing a bat at a hornet's nest but it really does feel like specifically mlm ships take precedence in fandom spaces over EVERYTHING else regardless of whether the ship in question actually has like. any canon backing whatsoever. like totk specifically, a ton of the story revolves around zelda, a female character which certain fans notoriously hate for the crime of. being a woman with feelings. like gee i wonder why we all simultaneously decided to ignore the story of this one. i wonder why we really really really want to focus on this random male side character's incredibly minor story instead of the literal titular character of the game. could it perhaps be because some of us are predisposed to ignore and dismiss women in all contexts. could it be perhaps that we don't want to reckon with a woman we didn't like in the last game reclaiming her agency and healing from her trauma and being a positive driving force in the narrative and would rather talk about 2 men and how lame and stupid the woman who dares to exist inbetween them is instead. hmm

[fromtheseventhhell]

Saying that non-conforming female characters don't face as much misogyny as their "feminine" counterparts is so funny cause literally the misogyny in their treatment is more overt because they aren't staying "in their place" like men think they should. The disdain for women + misogynistic societal ideals are so much more blatant in male characters interacting with these women. Countless times they are, in essence, told they need to sit down, shut up, and know their place but somehow that translates into them having "masculine privilege". I can only assume that people with this take haven't actually read the books and only get their information from second-hand sources.

[foreshvdowing]

how i looked for pride yesterday!! it was so much fun :) i love being queer and getting to meet new people and to be a part of this community!!

[lesbianneopolitan]

So it seems you are unconvinced about the personhood of men.

nah, irl I'm pretty neutral and wary about everyone LMAO

[lockandkeyhyena]

Sending from anon because I'm scared of harassment lol. I feel like some of these people...never went outside. The whole point of queer is that we're not put into neat little categories. There are people who are transmasc or even trans men and call themselves lesbian. There are people who are bi but date exclusively women or are attracted to like...2 men and saying they're lesbian is simply easier.

Also bigots don't exactly care whether you're bi/pan or lesbian, if they see you as a woman and see you with a woman, they will call you a lesbian.

And that's what it used to mean "back in my day", regardless of whether you're bi, pan or attracted to women exclusively. The term lesbian comes from Sappho from Lesbos. Both of these terms (sapphic and lesbian) were used interchangeably, at least here.

its shitty that you’re afraid of harrassment anon, i’m sorry to hear that. anyway, thanks for your input, i agree!

[sprnklersplashes]

I feel like as a general rule I will always be put off by the mentality of "this experience is a Totally Unique Experience which is only experienced by My Group and anyone outside of My Group who claims to have experienced this is Stealing or Did Not Experience It the way My Group did".