#ask-gollum

[incorrect-lord-of-the-rings]

The Fellowship as Barbie teaser photos ft. Gollum

[arttsuka]

Can you draw a cute lil opossum pleeease 🥺

I can certainly try

[zelda-the-sacred-realm]

*Throws a super shiny golden rupee*

"Time, go it! Get the shiny!"

I don't know why I thought Time is similar to Gollum in this 🤣, gold rupees are his precious!

Sorry but the meme was necessary for this 😅

Thanks for your ask! 💖

[kenobihater]

[ach-sss-no]

...gollum dodged a great eagle?

how can one character be both the most competent and incompetent character in lotr

>dodges great eagles and elves and aragorn and who knows what else >walks right into mordor and gets tortured

>finds and retrieves the one ring when sauron couldn't >immediately dies

(I am accepting LOTRO as unassailable canon at least for the purposes of this stupid post)

(external link so this stupid post won't show up in searches hopefully)

[c-rowlesdraws]

I swear to God I'm not trying to yuck anybody's artistic yum, but Gollum eats babies. Like, that's not a metaphor or anything: Gollum literally and canonically steals and devours human infants whenever he gets the opportunity. He goes out of his way to enter homes to eat babies. He is a literal baby-eating boogieman

bold of you to think that learning this wouldn’t make me like him even more

but really, lol, like… I know that? I already know that about him, I am familiar with different retellings of the source material even if I’m only just now reading the books. And I like that he’s done plenty of horrible things— it makes him more complicated as a character, strengthens that blend of pity and revulsion the reader and also other characters are intended to feel for him. He’s not a real person where I’d consider having eaten a human baby or two an actual turn-off from enjoying their company.

Also iirc it was, like, just a phase for him— when he ate people it was usually orc.

[gotinterest]

[philtstone]

the tale of aragorn and arwen being an appendix that a first time reader would very likely not have read makes all of aragorns “wistfully daydreaming about my girlfriend” moments in the books twelve hundred times funnier. and there are like so many of them too. literally no one, from his closest companions to the reader, has any idea why he is sighing forlornly at the trees, and the good professor simply doesnt bother to explain

[peachesofteal]

Immune darling who is experiencing some… interesting side effects of the bite. She’s faster than normal, stronger, has sharper teeth, better hearing.

She finds herself (without really meaning to) sprinting after the deer Simon is about to shoot. Tackling it to the ground and ripping its throat out. I mean there’s no reason to waste bullets if they don’t have to.

Sometimes Jonny and Simon wake in a panic because she’s not between them, only to look over at the river and see her knee deep grabbing fish with her bare hands. She looks over at them with the wriggling fish and just smiles the sharpest biggest smile ever.

- 🥔

I love you potato anon but this was all I could think of:💀

[c-rowlesblogs]

im really glad the gollum game is not good. there is no timeline where that game should have been good. that is an obscure ps2 game that slipped through the cracks of time and accidentally got developed in 2023. it was meant to release on ps2 and have a hilarious but fun and dedicated speed run community and that was it. if it was good we would have had some quantum issues

I do think the jokes about it being a PS2 game that fell through time are funny, but I do wish the game had been good. I think it could have been wonderful as a smaller-scale game more focused on atmosphere and story rather than platforming and repetitive little quests. It actually makes me a little sad that the backlash to the game is SO gloating and hyperbolic, because it’s got lots of people insisting a game about a character like this could never be good, and who would want to play Gollum as a protagonist anyway, and it’s like… me! I’d want that! I’d love a videogame set in a world of grand epic battles and world-conquering evil plots and wise, powerful wizards and brave warriors where I’m playing as some weird little freak who just gets swept up in the middle of it all.

There is a universe where this point-and-click game studio made a smaller, moodier, more story-forward game that still of course would have its detractors (“ew, who wants to play as Gollum?”) but would be polished and satisfying enough to be a solid game for people who would like that sort of experience. And I do wish that universe was this one.

[is-that-sand-in-my-waffles]

You and ur bf on a romantic retreat with the creepy guy in the cave is the plot of Lord of the Rings

[thekillingmoonmoon]

Snobby music elitists grumbling about Miss Megan Thee Stallion's cheeky references to Jujutsu Kaisen - are we just gonna forget that half of Led Zeppelin's discography is about being an extra in Lord of the Rings?

[nomgeonmunchie]

Gollum from Lord of the Rings?

[renlyslittlerose]

My mum watching Gollum and Frodo fight inside Mount Doom: Look, it's Obi-Wan and Anakin

[mushroomates]

your headcanons mean so much to me. you're so spot on w them!! i hope you have a wonderful day❤️ thank you for your writing

this is so sweet!!! ty for ur support! have a cursed gollum (i am drawing this from memory send help)

let the record show that i’ve read the books and watched the animated hobbit/lotr several times but have only watched the extended movies once or twice each so this is heavily based on book gollum

[misterfaggins]

Book designs for the ringbearers (in order)

[ID: two sheets of full-body character designs for Smeagol/Gollum, Bilbo, Frodo, and Sam, lined up in that order. Each of the hobbits has curly hair, large round pointed ears, and large feet covered in thick curly hair. The first sheet has a light blue and yellow background and depicts the characters before they took possession of the ring. The second, set against a black background, shows them some time after.

Smeagol is a fat, freckled white hobbit with medium length dark hair and sea green eyes. He is crouching comfortably with a smile on his face. In the second image, Gollum is bony and emaciated, his skeleton visible through his skin. He has large, bulging, luminous eyes reminiscent of a blind deep sea creature. His fingers are webbed and his mouth filled with many sharp, pointy teeth. He has thin strands of curly hair.

The first drawing of Bilbo has medium-dark skin, short, neat black hair, and brown eyes. He stands with his hands on his hips, looking impatient. He is dressed in casual clothes. The second Bilbo has long, graying hair that reaches well past his shoulders. He wears traveling clothes complete with a navy blue cloak. He smirks back at the camera.

The first image shows Frodo as a tall, white, chubby hobbit with short dark hair and brown eyes. He smiles happily, a healthy blush on his cheeks. The second Frodo has long, scraggly hair pulled into a messy ponytail. He is emaciated, too-big shirt hanging off his shoulders, with sunken eyes and heavy scarring across his chest in a circular radius from where the ring rested. He's covered in dirt and blood. He stares into the distance with a hopeless expression.

Sam is a short, tan, fat hobbit with short red hair, freckles, and brown eyes. He smiles up at Frodo. In the second image, Sam is a little thinner, skin more pallid. His hair has grown longer and unkempt and he is covered in dirt and blood. He has a slight scar where the ring rested against his chest. In both images, Frodo and Sam are holding hands. End ID]