#ask amy

[sonic-takeover]

Ah, they've left the house... *Places a brick painted the same color as the bigass house's staircase a little higher than halfway up the stairs.* Surely no one will trip over this or anything... Alright, back to the saving Tails plot!

*excellent... Now someone will trip when they come back... But who?*

*Amy is running alongside Sticks, Metal, and Omega. Metal is running slower than he's capable of in order to stay near Amy. Alice is on her way, but she's too slow to keep up with anyone else. Rouge and Silver are flying ahead. Amy grips her hammer, her gut twisting with nerves*

How didn't we notice? I thought for sure Tails was taking part, wasn't he?

I did not notice him being in the room. He must have left beforehand.

Mm.. I hope he isn't hurt. Would Eggman..? Metal, you know him.. Would Eggman hurt Tails? He's just a kid...

*Metal is silent for a moment* ... Perhaps. If he was desperate. But I doubt he will get to that point. He is likely using Tails as bait. *He watches as Amy's brow furrows with concern as they run* ... Amy.

*she looks up at him*

He will be alright. I will make sure of it.

... Thank you, Metal... You're.. thank you.

.. you care for him, so I do as well. That is important to me.

*Amy smiles, feeling her heart melt a bit. She runs a bit faster, finding some extra energy from his words*

[amy-r0z3]

sonk

omg, he's gangsta 😎

[askamydaily]

Surviving The Twisties

Amy Dickinson

July 31, 2024

[This is my current "One Good Thing" newsletter, which you can find and subscribe to on Amydickinson.substack.com]

[“Team Amy” — photo by Amy (2016)]

I’ve spent the last few weeks in the company of my two granddaughters, who come to stay every year during the most fun portion of the summer. 

I’ll admit to trying to overload them with future MEMORIES of doing FUN THINGS while simultaneously learning LIFE LESSONS™️.

If you asked them what the most wonderful part of their stay has been, they’d probably skip over the MAGICAL MOMENTS created by yours truly and mention the most recent thing they did, which many days has involved a visit to the Frosty Cow — an ice cream shack located on the fringes of a cow pasture.

(I don’t know about you, but I like to know where my ice cream comes from.)

[In this case, a bunch of Holsteins]

This summer’s biggest LIFE LESSON™️ was delivered not by me, but by Simone Biles … 

… several days before her leadership of the American women’s gymnastic team led to an historic Olympic Gold for all of them.

After I somewhat relentlessly bugged my granddaughters about the Olympics in advance of the opening of the Games, they said that they did not know much about the Olympics, so I gave them a quicky crash course into my biannual Olympic obsession (more on that later).

I focused on Simone Biles for all of the obvious reasons — but mainly because she is overall amazing, and young girls should be inspired not only by her accomplishments but especially — by her spirit. I’m talking about the kind of strength it takes to be fully in charge of your life. I could be wrong, of course, but that’s how Simone strikes me.

Fortunately, there is a new documentary series (produced by Biles and streaming on Netflix), which not only outlines Simone Biles’ inspiring personal story, but — even more important — it tells the story of this athlete’s battle with “The Twisties.”

You don’t know what “The Twisties” are?

I didn’t, either. But it is a term used in gymnastics where athletes completely lose the connection between their mind and body. This is an extremely dangerous phenomenon, certainly when you are in the midst of a soaring double-pike triple salchow mid-air split with a multiple tuck and twist dismount. 

(A move so daring and impossible, I have been forced to name it after myself.)

The Twisties are what happened to Simone Biles during the 2020 Tokyo Olympics. 

In the middle of her Olympic vault, instead of doing one of the several spectacular moves so death-defying that they are named for her, Simone … choked. She was only able to complete a much lesser vault — stunning the crowd. And then, she further shocked the world by walking away from her team and her sport during the Olympics.

Simone Biles has always possessed an almost supernatural body awareness, in that her mind and her body have been in near-perfect sync. 

But then — mid-vault — Simone Biles’ mind suddenly lost track of what her body was doing. She had an attack of The Twisties. (Despite its somewhat cute name, this is a dreaded and extremely dangerous experience.)

In the film, experiencing The Twisties is described as being “broken.” 

Have you ever felt your own version of The Twisties?

Yeah — me too. Big time.

Simone Biles was honest about her reasons for pulling out of the Tokyo Olympics four years ago (protecting her mental health), and she was criticized by many for letting her team down, and for “putting herself first.” 

Particularly nasty were the comments from a series of lardo loud-mouth radio sports “jocks,” who, as Simone remarks, “can’t do a cartwheel.”

Still — the question hung in the air:

Would Simone Biles attempt some sort of comeback?

Before coming back, this Greatest Of All Time athlete had to be brave enough to face a a workout comprised of a few minutes jumping on a trampoline, in the hopes of perhaps being airborne again at some point down the road.

In the film, we watch as she starts going back to the gym. She lays bare the raw terror she feels when doing the moves and routines she made famous. 

This answered a long-held mystery for me:

Why aren’t these athletes terrified when they know that one wrong move could lead to serious injury, paralysis or death? 

It turns out: They ARE!

That’s where their training comes in. Also, they seem to possess Gold Medal grit.

Unfortunately, in addition to terror-avoidance, these athletes are also trained to stuff down their own problems, worries, and physical or psychic injuries. The film explores this reality in detail. 

Particularly sad (and still so shocking) is the disclosure that Simone Biles is a survivor of sexual abuse perpetrated by the former long-time Team USA gymnasts doctor and now convicted rapist Larry Nassar, who assaulted her during physical exams (he was convicted of sexually assaulting over 500 female gymnasts). 

[From Wikipedia: Lawrence Gerard Nassar (born August 16, 1963) is an American serial child rapist and former family medicine physician. For 18 years, he was the team doctor of the United States women's national gymnastics team, where he used his position to exploit and sexually assault hundreds of young athletes.]

Simone suggests that her attack of The Twisties is a trauma response to this long-repressed abuse, amplified by years of stoically stuffing it down. She never received therapeutic help because, as she says, “At the time, I thought I was OK.” 

And that is why I wanted my granddaughters to learn about Simone Biles. 

Yes — Simone is a woman of color with an amazing and inspiring personal story performing at the highest-ever level in a traditionally "white” sport, but my granddaughters already know that women of color can excel at everything — because these girls are surrounded by great examples. (We’re looking at you, Kamala!) 

Good news, here, because to these younger girls, this particular LIFE LESSON feels as old as their granny.

In the film, however, we see how recent this breakthrough in gymnastics is, as well as the unique challenges these athletes continue to face.

[For a great overview of the very recent ascendance of Black women in Olympic gymnastics — including lots of video highlights, check out this compendium, published by blackamericaweb.com  CLICK HERE]

I wanted Team Amy to see how it feels and what it might take to survive their own version of The Twisties.

They might learn from Simone’s example: Through authenticity, honesty, hard work, professional help, compassion, acceptance, familial love, personal support, and by accessing and unlocking that oftentimes deeply hidden quality I believe we all have within us. 

Let’s call it “the spirit of a champion.”

[Team Amy … Outstanding in our field]]

LIFE LESSON delivered, I took Team Amy out for ice cream, where I enjoyed my preferred version of The Twisties:

What’s the degree of difficulty for taking an ice-cream selfie in the heat?

Eleven.

I hope you are able to award yourselves perfect scores for whatever extreme challenges you encounter.

Love, 

Amy

[preservationofnormalcy]

Alright folks, Amy's gotta head off to pick up her kids. Thanks for coming, Amy.

This was soooo fun. I'd love to come by again.

It was great to have you, I really appreciate you coming. Have a good night, folks.

[newsreports-online]

Ask Amy: Where I grew up, this would be considered alarming

Dear Amy: My husband and I live near his parents. They are very nice people, but they have a terrible habit of showing up at our house uninvited. Like they’re out doing errands and then they just stop in. Honestly, I do not like this at all. I grew up in a small town with lots of family around, but we would never do this. We might call when we were on the way and ask if we could pop by, but I…

[coochiequeens]

Does her attitude towards a baby suck? Yes. Does Ask Amy admit that it also sucks to insist crafters make stuff for people with no real connection to them? No. Am I biased as a knitter myself. Yes.

By Amy Dickinson

Dear Amy: My son’s ex-wife, “Tammy,” recently had a baby with her new husband.

Tammy also has two children with my son. I recently made slippers for my grandsons and sent the slippers to them. I told my son about it, and now he’s asking me to make a pair of slippers for the new baby. I don’t think I need to, as that baby is not my grandchild.

Should I go along with this, or is there a nice way to say that the child means nothing to me, so I’m not interested in doing it? After all, the ex-wife is the one who left the marriage when she cheated on my son with her new husband. – Curious Granny

Dear Granny: Hmmm. Let’s see. Is there a nice way to say, “This baby means nothing to me and so I’m not interested in doing anything for the child?”

I’ve called an imaginary conclave among all of the sages whose wisdom I trust the most, and all agree that your position and attitude about this baby is exclusionary and unkind. This child is the sibling of your grandchildren. Your grandchildren must be encouraged and allowed to accept and love this child. Why? Because it is best for everyone.

Your son is obviously encouraging/forcing you to accept this baby as the sibling of your beloved grandchildren. Good for him. Acceptance on your part makes your son’s life easier and more peaceful. It helps to integrate all of the children into a sibling group.

If you want to give gifts only to your grandchildren, you should send these gifts to your son’s address, not to his ex-wife’s address.

Furthermore, you holding on to an angry attitude toward your son’s ex-wife leads to you passively punishing your grandchildren, who are her children. Let your son carry his own water. You should work much harder to maintain a neutral attitude toward her, and a loving attitude toward all of the children involved.

Yes the baby is innocent but first the mom cheats and breaks up her family and then she asks her former MIL to make stuff for her son? That's balls. Yes the grandma should just mail stuff to her sons place for now on, mailing it to her place was just rubbing it in.

Exactly how does being irritated at being asked to knit or crochet stuff for others "unkind" but those who ask in the first place aren't entitled?

[petnews2day]

Neighbors never offer compensation for watching their dog – Chicago Tribune

New Post has been published on https://petn.ws/Fmebf

Neighbors never offer compensation for watching their dog – Chicago Tribune

Dear Amy: Friends ask us regularly to watch their dog, but never offer us any compensation. We are not asking for cash, but a gift card would be nice. They ask us to do this every year for one week in the summer, and then other periods throughout the year, usually lasting for a few […]

See full article at https://petn.ws/Fmebf #DogNews #AskAmy

[sonic-takeover]

Tis I!!! Amy and Metal, do y'all like Pizza? And Metal, can you eat pizza?

-☀️ Anon

Yeah, I like pizza! I prefer pizza with lots of veggies, ideally with a healthier option for crust, like cauliflower. Have you tried pizza with artichoke hearts? It's really good!

I am unable to consume food, but I enjoy the atmosphere of meals. I don't have a preference of what the food is.

We should have pizza together sometime. I mean, if that's something you'd think is fun..?

*he looks at her* Thrilling. I would love to.

[askamydaily]

My final syndicated advice column

Well, sports fans — my last syndicated “Ask Amy” advice column drops tomorrow (don’t you hate that expression?), and so I thought I would give you loyal subscribers a sneak peek at what I have to say.

I’ve known this moment was coming for the last several months, and the need I’ve felt to try to deliver some final thoughts summing up my experience over the last 21 years has been pretty strong.

Two things tend to happen to me when I’m under pressure: First, I fantasize about quitting, and after that — my mind goes

BLANK.

After that, this is what I tell myself: 

I say ….

No one really cares.

And then I push up my sleeves and try to get the job done.

This particular column was pretty daunting. I have been feeling very emotional, and I was writing it during a time when readers were already saying goodbye to me. 

Wow — what a wonderful connection we have shared! Of course, that connection will continue, but through different channels (this being one), and through different work. 

Read on — and please do share your own thoughts and comments.

Dear Readers: Since announcing my departure from writing this syndicated column, I have heard from scores of people across various platforms, thanking me for over two decades of offering advice and wishing me well in my “retirement.” I am very touched and grateful for this outpouring of support.

The thing is – I don’t think of myself as retiring.

I have led a constant, reliable life. I will read even the worst book to the last page. I have never voluntarily left a relationship, an obligation, or any employment.

(I can barely stand to leave a room!)

But I’m leaving this seven-day-a-week commitment – because I want to, and because it’s time.

My intention is to move on and to do other meaningful work.

Writing this column has given me a glimpse into thousands of lives.

The insight I have gained has inspired and empowered me to listen to my own counsel, to be authentic in my actions, and to – basically – be in charge of my own life, as much as possible.

Showing myself the door at this moment reflects the privilege of good health, strong relationships, years of steady employment, and some prudent financial choices. I’m very aware of how lucky I am.

My favorite way to envision this work is to picture families reading these columns together at the breakfast table and weighing in with their own points of view before reading mine.

And yes, there are still parents and grandparents out there who clip the newspaper and send pertinent columns to kids in college or summer camp, or tape it to refrigerators and bathroom mirrors.

I’ve heard from health care workers, police officers, fire fighters and office workers who say they discuss the issues raised in the column in the break room.

I love knowing that, and I’ll miss having coffee with you.

The questions raised in this space have been used as teaching tools in middle schools, memory care units, ESL classes and prisons. These are perfect venues to discuss ethical, human-sized dilemmas.

On my last day communicating with you in this way, I feel compelled to try to sum up my experience by offering some lasting wisdom, but I’ve got no fresh insight. Everything I know has been distilled from wisdom gathered elsewhere.

Boxer Mike Tyson famously said, “Everybody has a plan, until they get punched ….” Punches are inevitable. But I do believe I’ve learned some universal truths that might soften the blows.

They are:

Show up for people.

Be gentle with yourself – and with others.

Lead with kindness, and recognize kindness when you receive it.

Reserve your harshest judgment. Sit on your worst thoughts about other people and consider the consequences before expressing them.

Be of service by finding something, or someone, to take care of.

Find creative ways to express your feelings.

Admit to your faults and failings, and resolve to do better.

Ask for forgiveness.

Work hard not to be defined by the worst things that have happened to you.

Recognize even the smallest blessings and express gratitude.

Be kind to receptionists, restaurant servers, dental hygienists, and anyone who needs to physically touch or serve you in order to do their job.

Understand that there are times when it is necessary to give up.

Spend time in nature.

Identify, develop, or explore your core ethical and/or spiritual beliefs.

Recognize and detach from your own need to control someone else.

Respect boundaries – yours and others’.

Seek the counsel of people who are wiser than you are. Ask their advice, and listen.

I sometimes supply “scripts” for people who have asked me for the right words to say, and so I thought I would boil these down to some of the most important statements I believe anyone can make.

They are:

I need help.

I’m sorry.

I forgive you.

I love you, just as you are.

I’m on your side.

You’re safe.

You are not alone.

Now that I’m near the end of my movie, I hope you’ll pay attention to the end credits.

Many thanks to Chicago friends and colleagues, including Jim Warren, who found me, Ann Marie Lipinski, who hired me, Steve Mandell, who represented me, and editors Mary Elson, Bill O’Connell and Carrie Williams. Thank you to “Gentleman Jack” Barry, who softened my exit.

And especially to Tracy Clark, a talented novelist who has helped to correct my faulty thinking and grammar for many years.

Finally, much gratitude to faithful readers, who can find me on social media and through my regular newsletter.

Onward!

Love,

Amy

[preservationofnormalcy]

For Amy: My best friend is expecting her first child here pretty soon and there is going to be a baby shower soon! She is a lycanthrope, so I was wondering if there were any presents that I might not have thought of that would be especially helpful for a lycanthrope mother. Thank you!

Awwww, I'm sooooo happy for her! And for the pup.

So, if you know her pretty well, and it seems like you do - a huge, plush dog bed with a big body pillow. It helps Mom during changes, which go a little weird during and after pregnancy. Mine were all over the place. If you can, get one big enough that if she changes while sleeping she won't be hanging off it too much!

[lovehugsandcandy]

which bolas mc did you pick?

helloooo nonny! so I have played through a lot so I have done different ones. My MCs are usually female and human (but not always).

My first MC was the female human with the curly brown hair- I probably use her the most. I have also used the blond human female MC and the blue Elf MC with black hair? I think I wanna do an orc playthrough next, maybe the female orc with black hair?

How about you?

[thetim500]

Keep getting spam risk phone calls.

So I have a phone that keeps getting local calls but with audio warning of spam risk. I don't pick up the call but I was wondering who should I call to keep these calls from coming all the time

[the-black-dragons-den]

These pop up in my article feed all the time, and I usually really like Amy's advice, but also every time I see her face it feels like I'm looking at my future self. Like, I think that's exactly what I'm going to look like at her age.

And idk, there's something very comforting about that? Like, she's successful, she looks happy, if that's future me, I've got a good shot?

[amy-r0z3]

I have a great deal of respect for you cousin rose

( @ask-the-mercian-kingdom here rping as rob o the hedge )

Thank you, dear cousin, glad we share the same amount of respect *bows head cutely*

[askamydaily]

Great news: I've left my syndicated "Ask Amy" advice column and have started a new venture -- a lending library in my hometown.

[preservationofnormalcy]

For Amy

Uh I'm not sure what happened but I'm fairly sure my aprtment complex is owned and inhabited by exclusively lycanthropes..the problem is I'm not, any advice for someone that's not been around lycans before?

Oh, you stumbled into one of the old dens. They must have needed a tenant...

So, upside: the walls are going to be soundproof. They packed those walls tight in the 60's. You've probably already noticed that part. They're also built sturdy, there's plywood behind the drywall, and probably rebar behind that.

The downside...you're gonna...have to get used to some smells. I don't want to be too gross but...y'know, wet dog. Most of us're real considerate, but in a denhouse like that they're used to their neighbors not really caring, so....

General advice is to just keep to yourself unless you get invited to a apartment barbecue or something. As like a sort of, ummm....etiquette thing, giving a lycan a steak out of the blue is really bad, do not do that, but if you're invited to a barbecue and bring steak...you will make friends.

Don't worry about them finding out you're not a lycanthrope. They already know by the smell.