#Ask Amy

[askamydaily]

FINALLY ...

I don't have to care about gender reveal parties.

(The following column runs in newspapers across the country on May 24th, 2024)

Dear Readers: After 21 years writing the “Ask Amy” column, I’m announcing that I’m leaving this space. My final column will run at the end of June.

I’m healthy, happy, and 64-years-old. This is a decision I’ve been wrestling with for over a year.

When I was first hired by the Chicago Tribune to write an advice column after Ann Landers’ death, I was a middle-aged single mother. My daughter Emily and I moved from our long-time home in Washington DC and relocated to Chicago. 

[Emily and Amy, Freeville, NY. Photo by Chris Walker for the Chicago Tribune]

My welcome to Chicago was to deliver a solo performance of “Take Me Out to the Ball Game” in front of 35,000 baseball fans during the 7th inning stretch of a Cubs game at Wrigley Field.

This turned out to be a metaphor for my experience writing this column, which has been an exuberant and sometimes nerve-wracking effort of trying to hit the right notes before a huge audience. 

After several great years in Chicago, Emily left for college and I moved back to my tiny hometown of Freeville, NY (pop. 505), to spend time with my sisters, aunts and cousins, and to be with my mother at the end of her life. 

My experiences have mirrored those of many of my readers. For me, these last two decades have been about the intensity and consequences of both love and loss. 

After returning home, I promptly tumbled into a Hallmark Channel plotline, when I fell in love with and quickly married a man I’ve known since childhood (we grew up on neighboring dairy farms). My husband Bruno and I then blundered into the oftentimes awkward blending of our family of five daughters. 

[2008, Freeville, NY]

I became a stepmother, and then a grandmother, all before I believed I was ready. 

My mother and her three wonderful sisters are gone, now. A niece and nephew died, tragically, while in their teens. Much of my recent life has been absorbed by caregiving, mourning, and recovery.

Day in, day out -- over the last two decades – readers have generously shared their own vulnerabilities about many of our common experiences. I’m grateful that we’ve been able to help each other.

I’ve burned through eight laptops, opened bushels of postal mail, written columns in the car, on board planes, in hospital waiting rooms, on my honeymoon, and at my mother’s bedside. During this time, I’ve also written two books, a screenplay, and scores of essays. 

Doing this work has sent me into therapy. It has inspired me to explore the teachings of world religions, and to seek the insight of thinkers like Joseph Campbell and Carl Jung. I’ve quoted the wisdom of Maya Angelou, Joni Mitchell and Fred Rogers -- as well as dozens of poets, social scientists and psychologists. 

I’ve made my share of mistakes, been well-pranked – at least twice (that I know of), and learned how to apologize, ask for forgiveness, and to forgive other people for their own mistakes. Inspired by readers’ dilemmas, I’ve also worked hard to mend fractured family relationships and to be a better friend.

My personal experiences are a reminder that we humans can’t really control what happened before or what happens next. Joy, like grief, comes at you in such unexpected ways. That’s why it is so important to pay attention. I’ve learned to do that.

Being an advice-giver has challenged me to be aware of cultural, social, and relationship trends -- and to appreciate the quirks of human behavior.

When readers get frustrated by my lengthy answers to sometimes petty problems, they will often suggest that I should just tell people to “get a life!,” but I think that wrestling with our questions – from the quotidian to the profound – is living.

For the next month, I’ll continue to publish fresh columns and rerun some favorites. After that, my fantasy is to drive an RV across the country, visiting people I’ve met through this work who have challenged me and tantalized readers with their anonymous requests for advice.

In my hometown, I’m opening a little lending library. You can find me on social media, through my Asking Amy newsletter, at amydickinson.com, or at the Freeville Literary Society on Main Street – talking books with kids and offering advice to anyone who asks.

Love,

Amy

[amyroseblog]

Hey Amy! Settle a debate for me and Sonic!

Is corporeal punishment normal/ok?

-@doubletaileddoubletrouble

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh why’d you ask? I’ve **NEVER** been involved in something like that. It’s kind of silly that you would bring it up..! Ignore Sonic there, he’s just taking a nap. I’m not even sure why you’d ask..!🙂🙌

(In all seriousness though, I do not support corporeal punishment at all. If you are suffering from it, please make sure you speak up about it and tell someone you trust, aswell as calling CPS and the police ^_^ ! Corporeal punishment is not okay, it’s abuse.)

Thanks for the question, Anon! ^_^ (not sure why you’d ask because I have no interest nor history of it whatsoever YOU HAVE NO PROOF! I DIDNT DO IT)

[coochiequeens]

Does her attitude towards a baby suck? Yes. Does Ask Amy admit that it also sucks to insist crafters make stuff for people with no real connection to them? No. Am I biased as a knitter myself. Yes.

By Amy Dickinson

Dear Amy: My son’s ex-wife, “Tammy,” recently had a baby with her new husband.

Tammy also has two children with my son. I recently made slippers for my grandsons and sent the slippers to them. I told my son about it, and now he’s asking me to make a pair of slippers for the new baby. I don’t think I need to, as that baby is not my grandchild.

Should I go along with this, or is there a nice way to say that the child means nothing to me, so I’m not interested in doing it? After all, the ex-wife is the one who left the marriage when she cheated on my son with her new husband. – Curious Granny

Dear Granny: Hmmm. Let’s see. Is there a nice way to say, “This baby means nothing to me and so I’m not interested in doing anything for the child?”

I’ve called an imaginary conclave among all of the sages whose wisdom I trust the most, and all agree that your position and attitude about this baby is exclusionary and unkind. This child is the sibling of your grandchildren. Your grandchildren must be encouraged and allowed to accept and love this child. Why? Because it is best for everyone.

Your son is obviously encouraging/forcing you to accept this baby as the sibling of your beloved grandchildren. Good for him. Acceptance on your part makes your son’s life easier and more peaceful. It helps to integrate all of the children into a sibling group.

If you want to give gifts only to your grandchildren, you should send these gifts to your son’s address, not to his ex-wife’s address.

Furthermore, you holding on to an angry attitude toward your son’s ex-wife leads to you passively punishing your grandchildren, who are her children. Let your son carry his own water. You should work much harder to maintain a neutral attitude toward her, and a loving attitude toward all of the children involved.

Yes the baby is innocent but first the mom cheats and breaks up her family and then she asks her former MIL to make stuff for her son? That's balls. Yes the grandma should just mail stuff to her sons place for now on, mailing it to her place was just rubbing it in.

Exactly how does being irritated at being asked to knit or crochet stuff for others "unkind" but those who ask in the first place aren't entitled?

[askrosesandhammers]

{ A female trainer with pink hair was trying to adjust her camera, with the help of her Pokemon.}

"Is this thing on, Rosy?"

"Ton! Tinkaton!"

"That's great!"

The female, pink haired trainer and her Tinkaton both looked at the camera as they happily smiled and waved at the device.

"Hi there! My name's Amelia Rose or Amy Rose! I live in a far away region called Emerald City with my friends and Pokemon. Speaking of Pokemon. this is my Tinkaton named Rosy, say hi Rosy."

"Tinkaton!" 👋

"Oh, you're so cute Rosy! Well, if you have any questions to ask feel free, and take your time so don't be shy!^^"

"Ton, Tinkaton!"

"I guess that's all I have to say then. Take care everyone, and bye!" 👋

[the-black-dragons-den]

These pop up in my article feed all the time, and I usually really like Amy's advice, but also every time I see her face it feels like I'm looking at my future self. Like, I think that's exactly what I'm going to look like at her age.

And idk, there's something very comforting about that? Like, she's successful, she looks happy, if that's future me, I've got a good shot?

[yesioarts]

Resting my arm for 3 days is LAME since I haven't been able to draw, HOWEVER I will take this opportunity to test my drawing abilities. Send me an ask (preferably Sonic themed) and I'll do my best to draw out an answer 😼 asking about Whisper's day? Tangle's daily activities? How the hell Jewel handles stress so well? Ask away (please)

[freevillelitsociety]

I have been eager to share my own love of reading and books, and so I decided to open my own little lending library on Main Street in my small hometown.

[newsreports-online]

Ask Amy: Where I grew up, this would be considered alarming

Dear Amy: My husband and I live near his parents. They are very nice people, but they have a terrible habit of showing up at our house uninvited. Like they’re out doing errands and then they just stop in. Honestly, I do not like this at all. I grew up in a small town with lots of family around, but we would never do this. We might call when we were on the way and ask if we could pop by, but I…

[petnews2day]

Neighbors never offer compensation for watching their dog – Chicago Tribune

New Post has been published on https://petn.ws/Fmebf

Neighbors never offer compensation for watching their dog – Chicago Tribune

Dear Amy: Friends ask us regularly to watch their dog, but never offer us any compensation. We are not asking for cash, but a gift card would be nice. They ask us to do this every year for one week in the summer, and then other periods throughout the year, usually lasting for a few […]

See full article at https://petn.ws/Fmebf #DogNews #AskAmy

[askamydaily]

Great news: I've left my syndicated "Ask Amy" advice column and have started a new venture -- a lending library in my hometown.

[amyroseblog]

Welcome back Amy!

Hiii ヾ(＾∇＾)

Sorry I was off, for a while. Training for exams was tough. I was going to upload yesterday but I was pretty sick… ('T᷄⌑T᷅) atleast I get to upload today tho, because I’m off sick!! (^ヮ^)

Anyways, my upload schedule probably will still be better, but I’ll try to be more consistent. Thanks for saying Hi, Anon!! ^_^

[lovehugsandcandy]

which bolas mc did you pick?

helloooo nonny! so I have played through a lot so I have done different ones. My MCs are usually female and human (but not always).

My first MC was the female human with the curly brown hair- I probably use her the most. I have also used the blond human female MC and the blue Elf MC with black hair? I think I wanna do an orc playthrough next, maybe the female orc with black hair?

How about you?

[yuzuyokoi]

this might be that gay dude from les mis

[thetim500]

Keep getting spam risk phone calls.

So I have a phone that keeps getting local calls but with audio warning of spam risk. I don't pick up the call but I was wondering who should I call to keep these calls from coming all the time

[missamyshay]

Family’s up.

[nobleriver]

Doctor Who Season 7 Minisodes

Rain Gods