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Amber ── .✦01.
✦ Summary: In which Esme and Hoseok fall in love but of course with love comes trouble especially when you're dating an idol.
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"JUST SHUT UP! PLEASE!" Her cries echoed throughout the house, covering her ears as she laid on the floor. She couldn't deal with it anymore, the constant gaslighting and the mental abuse was getting to the point where it was too much. "I should've listened when they warned me, but nah I ignored them 'cause my dumbass didn't know any better, cutting the people I loved off FOR YOU! just so that you could be happy, for us to be happy!" She screamed while crying. He stood there confused as if he didn't know why she was crying, as if he wasn't the reason her mental health depleted and still is. when she finally looked up at him all that could be seen in her face was disgust. Disgust with they were he was looking and acting towards her over the years. "You know what I'm done with this bullshit." She got up wiping her tears, leaving the male's apartment ignoring all sounds and stares she received. All she could think about was why she never realized sooner......

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Esme's POV:
"Should I be doing this right now?" Biting my fingers anxiously as my decorated camera sat on my bed. I knew I would have to come back to making YouTube videos eventually,as it was all I knew and I would be nothing without it and my subscribers. I just never expected it to feel so foreign to me. Honestly I don't even know if I'm ready to get back but I know many of my fans miss me, and of course theres some who thought I'd be gone for good, and honestly I don't blame them for that knowing I did take a 6-month break with no heads up, not only on YouTube but on all my social media platforms, kinda like I just disappeared but if not now then when?
I sigh grabbing my camera and turning it to start recording. "Hey guys! I know it's been a while and y'all are probably wondering where I've been, what I've been doing and more some of y'all were right and I did break up with Rome but I'm not gonna go into full details about it, cause I'm not ready yet when I am though you guys will know the full story and understand why I took a break but lemme not ruin the mood it's a time of comebacks and celebration! now I am going to get back on my routine, posting weekly and spamming my socials!" As I speak, I can just feel some of the weight I've been holding on being lifted off my chest.
I clasp my hands together before I continue talking. "To be honest with y'all I wasn't even going to start recording again this soon, but Jazmine and her Lil boo invited me and one of his friends to a trip to Hawaii!!! Like y'all don't understand how hyped I am right now! Like I may regret this later but who am I to say no to a trip to Hawaii." I shrug my shoulders jokingly.
"I didn't plan much for this video honestly, but I did want this video and the Hawaii flight video to be separate, and since I and Jaz are going tomorrow imma drop COCO off at my mom's, and hopefully jaz is gonna be home by the time I get back so we can pack together and hopefully make some cute matching fits." I explain to my viewers what I have planned for the day though it wasn't much.
(A/N: coco is the name of her Pomeranian I didn't put her in the characters cus she wouldn't be mentioned much💀)
"Come here coco! Y'all why he tryna act like he dont know mee! get a hold of Coco who was trying to run away, I grab my keys, slip on my slides, and lock my door, leaving my apartment complex as I make my way to my car.
I prop my camera on my dashboard, so it won't fall, and put on Apple Music to play "Normal Girl". "As always y'all we're gonna stop by Starbucks so I can try a drink I saw going viral on TikTok then I'll head over to my mom's house to drop coco off." I look back at coco than at my camera as I speaking
"So, this is the drink I got and y'all already know I had to get my grilled cheese! Tew good." I showcase my order to my camera as I get the drink and my grilled cheese sandwich. I eat and drink my order as I make my way over to my mom's house.
I get there and ring the doorbell repeatedly to which she opens the door. "Esme gimme the damn dog so I can go back to sleep too damn early for this shit" she speaks groggily with an attitude.
"It's actually one though...and I don't even get a hello wooow" I joke with her knowing we were on the phone last night.
"Esme quit playin' with me and give me the damn dog."
"Damn here, Bye coco bye mama." I hand her coco and walk back to my car hearing her hum bye back.
"Ok so now that I dropped Coco off imma just head back home and hopefully Jaz is back so we can pack together." I talk to my camera as I start driving back home.
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I finally get back, unlocking my door to see Jaz in the kitchen getting a snack. "Oh, hey Esme" she turns and greets me.
"Hey sweetheart, did u have fun with your Lil boo," I ask with a smirk.
"Girl yes I have to fill you in on literally everything so fir-".
I cut her off before she started ranting on about what she and Yoongi did. "Before you even start let's pack while you tell me what y'all did because I know you ain't start yet and I know you gon be talking for a good minute. "
"You right" she laughs knowing what I said was true.
We both go into my room and start packing for the trip tomorrow.
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A/N: I edited this chapter WAYY more than the second time and I'm actually happy with the beginning chapter and I made this chapter before the whole Starbucks boycott so that's why they were mentioned I DO NOT SUPPORT them at all not even to the slightest degree
Please like and comment 🙏🏾
— 1089 words —
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Stonn x T'Pring and Sybok x Angel are the only SNW ships I like. Honestly, with the way the show is written, I'm rooting more for the Gorn than the Enterprise at this point.
With how that show's writing Vulcans I'm like 70% sure they're gonna make Stonn a bad guy or make T'Pring cheat on Spock so their relationship ends with "They both cheated!" or so that Christine can comfort Spock as if he hasn't been cheating on T'Pring pretty much the entire time he's been on screen.
I watched a 'short trek' I think they're called? Because I heard T'Pring was in it but it was REAAALLY bad like humor I might have laughed at in middle school...anyway T'Pring was only in it so they could make a joke where the premise was "T'Pring keeps breaking up with Spock because she falls in love with other people and Spock is SOO sad about it" and I was like Hey. Are you even WATCHING your show???? You're taking potshots at the WRONG CHARACTER. Like, even if you wanna make that joke - Christine'd make more sense because Christine and Spock ARE actually 'keeping it casual' and Christine DOES actually date around whereas T'Pring is committed to Spock in SNW and trying at every turn to make their relationship work. It still wouldn't be funny if the girl constantly breaking up with Spock was Christine but having it be T'Pring literally doesn't even make sense.
You can say "it's just a funny little joke" (as people say about a lot of SNW'S issues) but T'Pring is a female character who's been viciously maligned for YEARS and if their 'jokes' or 'comedy' come at the expense of their characters or the message of ultimate togetherness and hope in the galaxy then I don't find it funny. SNW isn't supposed to be a comedy I don't know why they keep trying to be 'funny' at the price of being earnest. This isn't a marvel movie.
The pro-eugenics trial, killing the disabled character, killing the chronically ill character (and framing this as a beautiful relief), 'being disabled is worse than death' messaging, turning the Gorn into horror movie killer monsters (especially when they could have just made up another species), the bioessentialism, constantly maligning Vulcans as racist bullies (with Spock's half Human blood saving him) <- Which I hate ESPECIALLY when Spock has always been a symbol for mixed people in which he struggled equally with feeling belonging in BOTH cultures whereas in SNW it feels like "If he could only be released from Vulcan's evil clutches he could be happy!" + The laziness of cheating being a plot point in so many main characters' romance stories so far.
[La'an wants to be with Kirk but that'd be cheating, Spock is cheating on T'Pring with Christine, Pike sleeps with another woman in 'Lift Us Where Suffering' despite having a girlfriend <- They COULD be open but I don't think this is explained. That's Five or Six characters involved in potential cheating and more if you count M'Benga wink-nudging Spock and Christine's relationship when he most likely knows Spock is engaged to T'Pring.]
I just have no faith in SNW. It doesn't feel earnest, and it doesn't feel kind and I don't want to watch a show where they'll sacrifice someone's character at any time for an ultimately meanspirited joke.
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Biden dropped out???!
Yep
He has backed Kamala Harris as the presidential nominee, which I'm very excited for
personally, I'm a little concerned. Biden frankly pushed a Lot of really good policies and he was still considered barely left of a center by a lot of people. a Black woman could either be exactly what a lot of centrists were looking for or could push people who thought Biden was a little too liberal over back into Republican voting.
I can't tell anyone who to vote for and I'm not interested in doing so, but I live in one of the most gerrymandered parts of a state that was red my entire life until the 2020 election, and I have no interest in going back. I'm going to college in a state that's less liberal, in a town that's less liberal than Atlanta (which is what I'm currently sort of living in).
so. I hope Harris gets the nomination at the DNC. I watched Clinton get close to winning in 2016 and am genuinely terrified of what will happen if the same situation occurs.
I am very nicely asking ppl to look up their local elections and vote there, do their research on presidential candidates, and vote for who you think will enact the policies you want to live under (please don't be single-issue voters. I can't change that but please do your research on single-issue voting and its effects)
sorry to turn this into a bit of a soapbox! where I live and where I'm moving (and the fact that I am a disabled afab queer person) will mean I will be one of the first groups hit if trump wins and I don't want that. your votes matter!
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