#asexual!Geralt

[geraskierfanficprompts]

Prompt 34

Jaskier is a succubus/incubus (Cause some sources say it's based on the entity's gender, and some say the name is based on the gender of the people they have sex with, so if he's a succubus or if he's an incubus is up to you, darling <3) Jaskier hasn't told Geralt of this, of course. He'd rather not add another thing to Geralt's seemingly endless list of things he hates about Jaskier. Jaskier jumps from bed to bed in towns, because he physically feeds on the passion of his little midnight trysts he has with lonely unsatisfied women in town. He'd go for men too, but doesn't need more mobs chasing him out of town and annoying Geralt. Geralt finally snaps at him one night, fed up with getting chased out of three fucking towns in a row. And the worst part isn't even the fact they keep getting thrown out. It's when Jaskier comes to him, ruffled, kiss-bruised, and reeking of sex he had with someone else. Jaskier, scared of Geralt leaving him behind, promises that he'll volunteer to have a dry-spell. No more cuckolding husbands for Jaskier, no sirree! However, being a succubus/incubus means that the longer he goes without some passion, the more weak he gets, and he starts to fall ill. Geralt grows increasingly worried. One night at camp, Geralt kisses Jaskier's forehead when Jaskier is asleep and he watches as color visibly returns to Jaskier's face, and Geralt's medallion hums. Geralt is now suspicious Jaskier has been cursed. Jaskier returns to looking peaky by the next morning. That is, until Geralt drags him into a hug on a hunch, and sure enough, Jaskier looks better. The more romantic the gesture, the more it seems to help Jaskier. Jaskier finally confesses what he is, bawling and sure that Geralt will banish him at the least and kill him at the most. Geralt is horrified, and hugs his friend close, promising he'd never do either. (BECAUSE THE MOUNTAIN BREAKUP SHOULD'VE NEVER LEFT THE WRITING ROOM) Geralt offers to have sex, wanting Jaskier to be healthy again, but Jaskier doesn't want the only time he gets to sleep with the love of his life to be when Geralt doesn't even love him back. He says as such, and Geralt stumbles his way through confessing that Jaskier's feelings are requited, and Geralt loves him too.

[iron-way]

My asexual ass: *feeling like an alien for not being able to understand and relate to thirst talking in everyday life*

Also my asexual ass: *recognizing Joey Batey not by his face or voice but by his slutty waist and behind first* Wait! Wait wait wait wait wait wait!

[samstree]

Wedding Night Blues

A curse against sex on a wedding night. Jaskier copes, and Geralt helps. (Ace!Geralt, 1.3k ☆ AO3)

“Rude! So rude!” Jaskier pushes open the door to their bedroom, banging it against the wall. “On my wedding, no less. My wedding!”

Geralt follows right behind, steadying the door and closing it gently. He sighs, pausing as Jaskier paces across the room several times, his cheeks flushed with anger.

“It was our wedding, Jask.”

With that, Jaskier stops in his tracks, looking up at Geralt. Frantic energy simmers behind his eyes, mixed with frustration.

“Yes,” he answers, crossing the room to take Geralt’s hands. “It’s our wedding day. Ours. We are supposed to be utterly consumed by marital bliss, and nothing else. It’s our day.” At that, Jaskier softens ever so slightly, before letting out a disgusted noise. “Urgh, and now it’s all ruined by that old, joyless wizard. Who would crash someone’s wedding party and cast a curse against sex? Seriously, what kind of a rude bastard does that?”

Jaskier mumbles a few more curses, completely overcome with annoyance at the unexpected guest near the end of the ceremony. Geralt simply holds his hands, waiting patiently for the rant to finish.

The medallion hums faintly against Geralt’s chest, reminding him of the magic cast upon them. He nearly didn’t recognize it at first, being the opposite of another common curse—forced sex with the threat of death. That one would have been a much more heinous deal, a complete disregard of the subject’s will, and forbidden in nearly all of the courts.

This curse, however, only means they cannot have sex tonight.

And tonight just so happens to be their wedding night.

Perhaps, it is indeed a bit inconvenient, Gerealt reckons.

“Cockblocked on my wedding night! With that sick spell of his and those evil laughs. They were not even good laughs! We’ve met villains with much better laughs.” Jaskier goes on, and on. “That was so rude. At least, he should’ve had the courtesy to practice that laugh a little before coming here. And, Geralt, did I mention how rude it was?”

Jaskier’s cheeks are bloated red. Smoke could be coming out of his ears.

Geralt resists the urge to tease. “You did.”

A glare lands on him nonetheless. Jaskier lets go of Geralt’s hands, crossing his arms. “Why must you make enemies with the rude ones?”

Blinking, Geralt realizes he’s become the target of Jaskier’s ire too.

“It’s better than the deadly ones?” Not sure what to do, he sighs. “I didn’t do anything.”

It must be the gentle tone that relaxes Jaskier, because his shoulders drop a little. If anything, Geralt knows how to calm his bard when he’s spiraling—his husband, now.

So he closes the distance between them slowly, placing a hand behind Jaskier’s back, guiding him towards the bed. It’s a big, luxurious thing, mounted with blankets and soft pillows. They sink into the mattress at the edge.

“No, it wasn’t your fault. I’m angry with that sad, pathetic mage who has never known love and acts out on jealousy.” Jaskier takes a deep breath, and then another. “He just couldn’t stand how happy we are.”

“We are.” Geralt pulls Jaskier close, so his body is slumped against his. “I am. So incredibly happy.”

Jaskier runs a hand through his hair, crumpling the small daisies nestled in his braids. “I’m not mad at you, just frustrated,” he says. “It’s our wedding night. I was expecting to get lucky, is all.”

“Hmm, and what if I didn’t want to?” Geralt asks softly, picking out the crushed petals one after another. “What if it’s one of those days?”

He only asks half-heartedly as a comfort for Jaskier, but the hypothesis is not without truth underneath it.

On some days, all Geralt wants is to fall asleep holding Jaskier. On some days, sex seems like an insurmountable task. He’s different, from Jaskier at least, who always looks at him with desire burning behind those blue eyes.

On other days, the want grows within his ribcage. When there’s sunlight on Jaskier’s smile and patience in his voice, Geralt is consumed by all the love that whispers Jaskier’s name with every slow beat of his witcher heart. On those days, he shows all the love with touch, with the gentle press of lips, with the intimacy in the act of sex, and he knows Jaskier sees him.

Jaskier always sees him. Jaskier is always safe.

“Oh.” Upon hearing the question, Jaskier looks up. His expression changes completely, all annoyance gone in an instant. “That’s fine, then. It’s alright if you don’t want to, darling, you know this. It wasn’t meant as—well, I didn’t mean to pressure you. I just thought you did want to, tonight.” He watches Geralt closely. “Did you? Because it’s okay. I won’t mention it again if you don’t.”

Something in Geralt aches.

“I did,” he answers. “I wanted to. It’s our night. I want to make you happy.”

A small, understanding smile tugs at Jaskier’s lips. He waits for Geralt’s answer patiently, sitting on their wedding bed, dressed in a midnight blue doublet, embroidered with a subtle pattern of wolves at the hem.

“Yeah?”

Geralt takes Jaskier’s hand and presses a kiss to his palm. “Yeah.”

Jaskier’s lips purse into a small pout. “It’s all pointless now. We are trapped in this sexless hell.”

“Only for a day. We are still here tomorrow.”

The ribbon that bound their hands and the rings marking their fingers make sure of it.

“It’s still unfair. It seems so much harder for me than it is for you. Pun fully intended,” Jaskier whines. “I want you, darling. I had plans to take care of you tonight. Please tell me it’s just as hard for you.”

Geralt smiles at his ridiculous bard. “It’s just as hard for me.”

“Thank you,” Jaskier sighs, “for lying.”

“Not lying. Want you so much.” Geralt hums, resting his forehead against Jaskier’s, eyes closed. “Love you,” he whispers the secret.

“Oh,” Jaskier’s breath hitches. “I love you too.”

They exhale in unison, letting the weight of the day fade away.

We don’t need sex to be close, Jaskier once promised him. I just need you to be here, and be okay.

He’s always okay when it’s Jaskier’s hands touching him, Jaskier’s heart loving him.

Geralt breathes through all the love that wraps around him in safety, overwhelming him, drowning him in utter bliss. He cups Jaskier’s cheek and takes in the beautiful sight of his bard, his small smile. He can’t help leaning in for a kiss.

“What are you doing?” A finger stops him by the lips, but Jaskier’s smile grows. “Curse, remember?”

“Hmm, we can still kiss,” Geralt coaxes. “Just one kiss.”

Jaskier groans. “It’s never just one kiss if it’s you. You know your effect on me. I’ll get all hot and bothered and it’s going to be a danger to our lives.”

“We’ll risk it.”

Despite the playfulness, Geralt kisses Jaskier carefully. He catches Jaskier’s soft lips into a chaste kiss, and another, and another. He keeps it feather-light, never pushing for more, only to let Jaskier melt under his attention. The small, peppering kisses continue until they are both humming with quiet contentment.

Geralt pulls away, opening his eyes to find Jaskier with a dreamy look on his face.

“Hey, husband.”

“Hey,” Jaskier breathes. “I misspoke. Perhaps, I did get lucky today.”

“Did you?”

Jaskier’s grin stretches so wide it takes over his whole face. There’s so much joy when he looks at Geralt, growing as the seconds go by. It’s hard to imagine him being angry just a few minutes ago, troubled by something that seems distantly inconsequential now.

“Mm-hmm. I really lucked out with this one right here.” He pinches Geralt’s cheek gently. “I have a best friend and a husband in the same person, and I got to marry him today.”

That, Geralt can relate to.

“Hmm. Very lucky indeed. What will you do with him, now that you have him?”

Jaskier winks mischievously, bringing Geralt into his arms. The faint smell of daisies lingers in the air, and Geralt burrows right into it. He holds his best friend and husband, and never wants to leave their little pocket of happiness.

“I believe,” Jaskier answers, smiling as he kisses Geralt’s forehead, “more cuddling is in order. It’s our wedding night, after all.”

[podcastenthusiast]

A fic featuring: ace Geralt, some trauma, discussion of consent, and a whole lot of love.

---

Touch is difficult for Geralt. Desire, too; witchers are made to want nothing except to serve their purpose. He wants even less, yet somehow more than he should.

He's been known to spend months, even years, on the Path with only Roach for company. Never touching anyone beyond the brush of hands as coins are exchanged. He will go to brothels occasionally--let the whores trace his scars, cataloging each one like it's evidence of something, asking for the story behind it. He satisfies their curiosity and fucks them, too, because he knows how this transaction works, what is expected. He gives them whatever they want, and takes what pleasure he's supposed to. It's too much and it's over too soon.

Sometimes he leaves the brothel feeling lighter, almost like a person. Other times he is empty, bereft of that warmth, and unsure why he can't feel the way others do.

Geralt has theories. He keeps them to himself. Doesn't even tell Roach.

One theory goes like this: witchers are rendered sterile by the mutations, and Geralt was given an extra dose. Maybe that stripped away his sexual desire as well as his capacity to procreate. Or maybe it's still in there somewhere, buried deep along with a majority of his emotions and the kid he once was.

Maybe it has nothing to do with being a witcher at all. His brothers don't seem to share the same experience.

And Jaskier isn't at all like him; he loves fiercely and loudly. Jumps into bed with practically anyone who's willing. He will meet a barmaid and perform a ballad he wrote about her all in the same evening.

So it shouldn't be a surprise that Jaskier's soft heart has room in it for Geralt, too, but it is. It's also a surprise when the bard stays, like no one ever has before.

They share a bed now, as they have many times, but it's different as lovers. At first Geralt assumes Jaskier simply wants sex, and is fine with giving him what he needs.

But the bard loves to please others. Jaskier asks what he wants, and Geralt replies, "Nothing."

Truer than it's ever been, in this context.

"Everyone wants something. Even you."

"I..."

I just want you to stay. He can't say it. He is a creature defined by what he lacks--desires, fears, feelings, humanity. He has little to offer Jaskier or Yennefer or anyone else, just danger or a quick fuck. It isn't enough. He has no business asking for anything. He was made to be useful.

"Geralt?"

"Hm?"

"That's all right. We'll figure it out together. For now let's take things slow, yeah?"

"Been twenty years."

"And I wouldn't trade them for all the wine in Toussaint. But this--" He kisses Geralt's neck. "--is new."

"Hmm."

"I just want you to be comfortable, dear witcher."

"Why wouldn't I be?"

It's too quick. Defensive. Like parrying before your opponent even draws their sword.

"Well...I know you feel things differently." Fuck. Fuck! He knows. "Heightened senses and all that. I imagine it could make certain things...a bit intense."

He doesn't know. He can't.

"I'll be fine."

"And if we do have sex, I want it to be good for you. Because...honestly, Geralt, you deserve pleasant things, more than you know. You always say you don't want anything."

"I don't."

"And that scares me to death, darling." Jaskier's voice is low, suddenly breaking. "There's no shortage of awful people out there who will at best take that as an invitation not to care, or at worst to hurt you."

The wolf inside him snarls. He's not weak. Witchers might be harmed in battle, never in bed. But he takes a breath and tries to hear what Jaskier is really saying. He owes him an attempt at decent communication.

"Jaskier," he says. "You'd never hurt me."

"Not intentionally, no, which is why I need you to talk to me. Tell me if I ever do something you don't like, even if you've liked it in the past, and I'll stop."

Jaskier's calloused fingers idly trace a scar below his collarbone. He won't ask about its origin because he doesn't need to; he was there. Geralt's muscles grow tense even so.

"Stop," he snaps before he can think better of it. Jaskier stops immediately. His hands withdraw from the witcher's skin, and Geralt knows he just fucked up everything. He couldn't bear even that and now his bard is never going to touch him again and so few are unafraid, fewer still truly know him--

"Thank you," Jaskier says. He doesn't sound angry or upset. He sounds almost proud. "Can I ask-- Are you feeling overwhelmed emotionally, or was it the touching? And don't you dare give me that tired 'witchers don't have feelings' line right now."

"Touch," Geralt manages although, if he were honest, it's both.

There are times he can't stand to be touched at all, Jaskier has seen that-- after a hunt, when the lingering effects of his potions make the world feel impossibly sharp. But there are other times. There are safe people and places and Jaskier never looks at him like he's a curiosity, an inhuman thing, but Geralt's body doesn't always know that.

"You don't want to be touched right now?"

Geralt shakes his head. Then shrugs. Nods.

"I really need some words here, love."

"It's. The scars."

"Oh. Gods, I'm sorry. Do they hurt?"

Scars trouble him the least of his old wounds. They itch, sometimes, but they don't hurt in the way, for example, his knee aches when it's going to rain. Scars are an absence of pain. Of anything. Sometimes a reminder.

"No. Just numb." He takes a breath. Averts his eyes and counts the stitches on the blanket. "Most people I'm with... it's all they see. Like to touch the scars. I can't feel it. They ask questions; I tell them or I don't. Over either way."

They leave, he means. Or he leaves first. That fucking mountain. He's run out of words. His throat feels tight.

When he looks up again, Jaskier's eyes brim with tears.

"You are so much more than that to me, dear heart."

"I know," Geralt says, and finds that, quite unexpectedly, he believes it.

"Is-- Would a hug be okay? Honest answer only."

Geralt nods, and the bard pulls him in close.

"You know," says Jaskier after a while. He never could let silence remain unfilled. Geralt is grateful. "There are artists who mend pottery by carefully filling the cracks with gold. It's beautiful."

"Sounds excessive. Just make another bowl."

"It adds to the complexity, the beauty of the whole. I'm trying to say that's how I see you."

"As broken pottery to fix?"

"Gods, no. As someone who's survived so much, and is very dear to me. But your scars, your lovely eyes and your hair, all of it-- They're not everything you are, nor is witchering, despite what ignorant fools or careless bed partners may think."

But Jaskier has mended something. His reputation, for a start. His wounds on numerous occasions. And... more than that, besides, he thinks.

When Geralt finally does tell Jaskier the truth about his desires, or lack thereof, he'll think about that and form a new theory. Maybe he isn't a broken thing after all, and even if he is, maybe that can be okay.

[dapandapod]

I wanna hear more about ace Jaskier 👀

I can do that 👀 I am very fond of it, so here's a second snippit! Damnit, why work hours, I wanna work on it more now...

Strangely enough, this fic includes a surprising amount of talking about sex 🤣 They figure it out together! Also, Good Friend Geralt rights! (even if it's end goal Geraskier, because my heart needs it)

Jaskier doesn’t respond immediately and when he is looking over, Jaskier is blushing lightly and he is giving Geralt a cheeky smile. “Why Geralt, are you asking about my habits of self love?” Quickly Geralt turns back towards the road, feeling his own face heat up a little. “I suppose I am. I did really mean generally though, because some of those songs you sing… well. And some of the books you carry with you at times also lean towards the uh… spicier audience.” “My, my, Geralt, did they make you hot and bothered?” Jaskier teases, and Geralt huffs an embarrassed laugh. “Guess that’s why I’m asking,” he shrugs, and Jaskier softens again. He does that a lot now, the gentling around the eyes. It is a becoming look. “It is a reasonable question, if a bit private. But I think that it helps, reading I mean. It allows me to experience and enjoy that part of life without having to… join in? It is safe, because they don’t want me.” He trails off, mind far away, as if he stumbled upon something. “Huh. Well, sidestepping self discovery and back to your question. Yes, it happens, but like you said, it is not aimed anywhere. I can appreciate someone or something being sexy, but it close to never leads me to wanting someone to touch me.”

And so on, and so forth, I wanna give you more, but at this rate, I'll be giving you the entire fic xD hope you like!

[quercus-queer]

I’ll be like: choosing to interpret the disabled (canon or coded), reserved, unemotional character as ace or aro or aroace when presented with a queer ship involving them stems from the discomfort you have towards disabled people and infantilizing them. It also shows your negative perception of ace or aro or aroace people. It is a predictable stereotype that is so consistent it is more boring than annoying but no less harmful. People can be ace/aro/aroace and still have relationships romantic, sexual, or queerplatonic. These people are queer. Disabled people can be in intimate relationships, their experiences in society is queer in a greater political context.

Deciding this strange character is ace/aro/aroace as a reason as to why they cannot be in a queer relationship shows that the person does not care about representation of their identity, instead they care about not seeing queer relationships. More than that, they choose this route because they do not want to have a discussion on the queerness of that character because they see queerness only in the context of relationships and/or hypersexual people. Ace/aro/aroace people cannot be in relationships therefore we do not have to look at a queer character being queer (ie: intimate with others because that is the only thing that makes a gay person gay) therefore I am not uncomfortable.

Deciding this strange character is ace/aro/aroace as a reason as to why they cannot be in a relationship shows that the person does not care about representation of their identity, instead they care about not seeing disabled people in relationships. More than that, they choose this route because they do not want to have a discussion on the experiences of that character because they see disabilities only in the context of pity. Disabled people cannot/should not be in relationships (wrong) therefore we do not have to look at a disabled character having experiences that do not fit with my perception of that disability, therefore I am not uncomfortable.

And people will be like… you hate ace and aro people no doubt and that stereotype is better than no rep at all… This is not just about my previous post, hence me not tagging it. It is about the reoccurring stereotype and underlying sentiments of it across fandoms/media.

[jeanblack2056]

So... I'm writing another fic 😀 And yeah, I do vent a lot. Be prepared for angst, insecurity, asexuality and lots more!

A little taste of the first chapter!

We Are All Bound Together - Ch1 - Solitary Bard

Jaskier has been through many shitty situations in his life before. And he always made the most out of them, as a bard should. Every inconvenience, every sadness, every burst of anger or fear, all of those were perfect for weaving into a song. Adding the right words and melody to those struggles was part of how he lived. How he overcame them. He always welcomed the hard times because a piece of him believed that every experience and every feeling was precious to him as a creator.

But this moment right here? This overwhelming pumping of blood he heard in his ears? This muddy feeling wrapped around his brain? The confusion, the tears stinging in his eyes? That terrible, excruciating pain as he felt his heart split in two? The betrayal? The echo of those words returning to him again and again in a muddy painting? All of this he would have gladly lived without.

He tried to dry the tears with the sleeve of his doublet, but more just poured out so he gave up. He was walking down the damn mountain, stumbling over the stones in his way, not caring about the sounds coming from the bushes around him as he pushed through the wilderness. He only stopped when he couldn’t see anymore and then he sat down on the ground, leaned on the tree behind him, and let out a long shuddering breath.

What was he supposed to do now? 

[sentienceisoverrated]

The Witcher show almost gave me a heart attack when Ciri was revealed to be a daughter to him and not a romantic interest.

Like until the last ep of season 1 I genuinely thought this tiny teen girl was gonna be a love interest and I was seething.

Until I got a found family that’s just adorable :)

[catierambles]

Masterlist

As outlined in this post right here, this is more of a WIP list than a true Masterlist. I do have links to my finished works as well as the 2 on-going. I removed the Keep Reading because the length has been significantly cut down, but if it gets up there again, I'll add it back.

Link to my AO3 for those that prefer that.

I tend to forget I have an account on there until someone comments on something I have posted, then I remember to update.

Completed Works

Null Pairing Incubus!Charles Brandon x Asexual OFC Anna Williams. 20 Chapters

Chimera Captain Syverson x Mercenary Captain OFC Amelia Jones 13 Chapters

Feral Instincts Werewolf Reverse Harem with "The Rogues Gallery" Syverson, Mike, Walter Marshall, August Walker, Geralt of Rivia x OFC Stephanie Daniels 32 Chapters

Alternate Instincts A "What-if" of Feral Instincts. Not a direct sequel, you can read one separately from the other and still know what's going on.

Werewolf Reverse Harem with "The Rogues Gallery" Syverson, Mike, Walter Marshall, August Walker, Geralt of Rivia x OFC Stephanie Daniels 33 Chapters

On-Going Works

Blood Moon Werewolf!Syverson x Vampire!OFC Annalisa Caulfield

[victimsofyaoipoll]

Round 1

Propaganda Under Cut

Christine Canigula

This has enraged me for YEARS. She is constantly sidelined in the fandom in favor of the main m/m ship which itself its fine but the way people treat her drives me NUTS. When I actually was in the fandom, Consistently! her crush on the main character which is a CENTRAL fucking plot point is just explained away to make room for yaoi. If they even have that kind of decency. Like 99% of the fics just say "oh! she's a lesbian actually totally this was comphet im not a misogynist" or "she's Actually Aroace" and not ponder on the optics of sanitizing the CANON fucking attraction of a chubby easian girl. It's sososo transparent and another fucking example of she's actually the Mom friend! or other annoying racist and misogynistic tropes.

She likes play rehearsal. She's the love interest of the main character, Jeremy. Jeremy also has a best friend, Michael, whom he's usually shipped with. And since she's the canonical love interest and as such often gets in the way of their beloved ship. They are very creative in finding the ways to get rid of her to ship Michael with Jeremy, ranging from making her asexual(because ace people can't date apparently), completely kicking her out of the last two songs of the musical and putting Michael in her place, to vilifying her and claiming she was never interested in Jeremy in the first place, despite musical explicitly saying the opposite.

Love interest of the main character Jeremy Heere and therefore stands in the way of the fandom's most popular ship, boyf reinds. Being specifically a love interest we don't get. A whole lot of her but she's fun! She's a theatre kid. She is silly and goofy. Also has a one off line in one of the songs that mentions she has ADD. Idk what I'm supposed to say really and I'm always bad at talking about characters so.

Yennefer

Constantly villainized because one way or another she gets in the way of a MLM ship (though at least one of them would probably be fine with a poly relationship). In the show version of her, her love interest bound her to him via magic, never told her until someone else brought it up despite it the bond causing them to meet over and over, her love interest didn’t understand why this upset her and brushed it off and still has never apologized for it because apparently it was the only way to save her life, she had better chemistry with Jaskier (the other half of the MLM ship) and had a semi-decent rivals to frenemies thing going on, the show took away her powers (which never happened in the books) to have her go on a pointless quest to get them back that worsened her relationship with her love interest because they had her try to kill her love interest’s adopted child (which now justifies why he doesn’t need to apologize of course), and all of that was after she’d already had an arc regarding sacrifice and how power wasn’t really what she wanted.

she's an incredibly powerful mage and drop dead gorgeous and deserved so much better!!! justice for yen

God forbid women do anything. She either gets hate or is ignored, really classic stuff. And she's Geralt's gf but you know, *gestures at geraskier*

[eskelwolfed]

Any mutual who likes this gets one of my muses in their inbox, horny AND FOR FREE. Just tell me which and it will be an explicit nsfw thread, no fading to black.

and the best thing? you choose the muse I'll send your way. as long as the ship isn't listed as a no-no, the ship doesn't violate my trigger policy or any of the sort OR it's Harwin/Geralt, those come with a doubling policy. - please keep in mind that some of my muses are either strictly gay/lesbian or asexual. two muses are explicitly transmasculine.

[vintage-misery-ep]

y'know i think i've figured out my favourite pairing/relationship trope and why i'm immediately drawn to some ships no matter how vague or lacking in evidence.

it's grumpy bear/sweet with pretty hair

something about it just scratches this itch in my brain like nothing else.

chief examples:

tormund/jon from game of thrones (peak of this trope/pairing)

geralt/jaskier from the witcher

andrew/neil from all for the game (this one is very loose they're both grumpy)

jean/jeremy from all for the game

erik lehnsherr/charles xavier from x-men (specifically the newer/alternate timeline ones)

bones/jim from alternate timeline star trek (see my favourite series western skies by anruiukimi on ao3)

dean/castiel from supernatural

ghost/soap from modern warfare (yes i fell for that trend sue me it's hard to find non-explicit content for these two anyway)

regulus/james from marauders era (they both have pretty hair, this one is very loose)

alfie solomons/tommy shelby from peaky blinders (these two? yes)

p.s. yes im aware these are all m/m ships, no i am not fetishising gay relationships. im an amab agender and asexual individual myself and i just like reading fluffy stories about people who love each other, and prefer ships i can relate to. bugger off.

p.p.s. literally all of these are favourited tags on my ao3

[doberbutts]

So on the topic of how education works in the books!Witcher universe and hooked into that statement that generally the alderman is the smartest person in the village but not always:

Geralt's explaining how a monster came to be within the village and he's trying to explain asexual reproduction and the alderman basically goes "oh yeah like mice, no such thing as a male mouse and a female mouse, everyone knows it just takes a single mouse in a hay pile and you'll be overrun by winter" and Geralt's internal reaction is just

Geralt: you don't have to worry about more if you clean up your refuse more often, otherwise it just takes one and then there will be more. Like snails.

Alderman: yeah yeah like mice, mice don't have sexes they just spawn from hay stacks

Geralt:

Geralt: I do not have the time energy or patience to dispute what you said or explain to you just how wrong you are but sure. Like mice.

Which like. Yeah having worked and lived very rural most of my life if you don't have a working knowledge of local fauna and anatomy, it does really seem like mice just magically appear whereever there's stacks of grain or hay, and finding one usually means there's about 20 of them and rapidly increasing, and prior to widespread comprehensive schooling I could totally see someone getting it *that* wrong.

But *Geralt* knows better- he's a sort of scholar himself due to being a Witcher, he HAS to understand the difference between monsters and animals, and how they work and influence each other. He talks with druids and sorcerers and even nonhumans about how certain monsters have a niche in the ecosystem and he prefers not to kill those ones because they're good for the environment.

So the knowledge is out in the Witcher world, it's just not accessible to everyone. And if we take Geralt's schooling as "what everyone probably would know, minus comprehensive monster knowledge ofc, if there was widespread accessible education", then we can assume that the bulk of the non-peasants Geralt talks to also probably know these things. Regis, Dandelion/Jaskier, and various magic users, because they're all scholars. But also Cahir and others of similar station, nobles and royalty, priests and priestesses, etc would know these things too.

[ccghastly]

The Where's What (My MasterList)

My askbox is Open! I'm most comfortable writing for Red Dead Redemption, Mad Max, The Walking Dead, The Witcher, and Call of Duty.

I'm also completely okay with taking explicit prompts and writing adult content! If you're not sure if I'll want to write something, just ask! I won't get mad, I promise!

All sections are sorted chronologically, with the oldest stuff first

RDR2

A little something between Young!Arthur and Hosea

Arthur Speaks French HC

How the odd couple got their unruly son

Van der Linde fellas as Hybrids

Van der Linde fellas with an Asexual S/O

S/O can't ride a horse(Arthur, Charles, Hosea, Bill)

Charles Smith with gn Reader that sings alot

Hosea Boycotts Micah

Arthur and Sleep

John and Sleep

Charles and Sleep

Javier and Sleep

Sub, Dom, or Switch And Top, Bottom or Both

Refining the Arthur Speaks French HC

Shorter Pieces of Writing

Yee Haw

Arthur Catching Feelings

Sean and Hosea Chat

Saint Denis Pronunciation

Sean's would you rather

Lil Poem about Arthur's Morality

Arthur 'Grazing'

Mad Max

How Warboys Treat their Young

Warboys and Damis

Warboys and Bedrooms & Citadel Layout HC

The Witcher

Wolf Witchers have Mutagen Lineages

Witchers Sit Seiza To Numb Their Legs

Trainee Geralt & The Advanced Obstacle Courses

Why Wolf Witchers Kiss

Witcher Ages

If you wanna filter by tag instead: "ccghastly" is all my original content, "ccg chats" is me answering asks, and "ccg me" is my non fandom posts.

I'm on Ao3!

So far I've written for Rdr2, Witcher, Hotd, and Cod.

Links to my ao3 works are available below the cut!

Striking Gold

Fandom: Red Dead Redemption 2

Rating: Gen

Warnings: Allusions to Child Abuse

Description: Arthur's early life with his parents and how he met Hosea and Dutch.   'There was a moment of silence that 'Old Girl', which was a ridiculous name in Arthur's opinion, broke "Dutch, No." 'Dutch', which was an equally ridiculous name, immediately started defending himself and 'Old Girl' turned away from Arthur to better convey his firm disagreement. Arthur eyed his horse and had half a thought of leaving them to it, but considering 'Dutch' was still two wrists deep in some things he'd rather not lose, he was stuck.'

Slow and Steady

Fandom: The Witcher

Rating: Gen

Warnings: Light Allusions to Child Abuse

Description: After his Trial(s) of The Grasses Geralt doesn't run the obstacle courses like he used to.   AKA: Geralt gives Vesemir some more grey hairs

Usoven

Fandom: House of the Dragon

Rating: E

Warnings: Explicit S*xual Content

Description: Daemon takes care of his wife after he accidentally hurts her during sex.

Making it Count

Fandom: Call of Duty

Rating: Teen

Warnings: Unspecified Eating Disorder

Description: Captain Price isn't pleased by how casual the base's newest Specialist is with her health.   ... Price was silent, the scales weighing and balancing behind his eyes as he assessed her, “Let’s keep going and assume that I believe ya.” There was a short thought filled pause. “You say you have a ‘hard time’ eating? Tell me what that means.”  Taking a deep breath, she drew her scattered thoughts together, determined to get him to understand this time, “People don’t ask me about this. I dunno how to...” She glanced up, as though the path to making this sound normal would reveal itself from amongst the dingy water-stained ceiling tiles. ...

[fruityuncleskeletor]

Writers Truth & Dare Ask Game

seen on and snatched from @bunnakit

🎱 ⇢ post your AO3 total stats 

🍓 ⇢ how did you get into writing fanfiction?  I started writing my own stories about cartoon characters because the episodes on TV were too far apart

🌵 ⇢ share the link to a playlist you love

Chan's room episodes

🕯️ ⇢ on a scale from 1 to 10, how much do you enjoy editing? why is that? a fucking solid 2, because the more I see my own fic, the more disgusted I grow with it and lose the will to post it. The 2 is because I do realise editing is necessary.

🛼 ⇢ describe your latest wip with five emojis

🥑 ⇢ you accidentally killed somebody, which mutual(s) do you text for help? I am calling @hardcandythinking but only to vent, I already know where to rent a woodchipper from

🥤 ⇢ recommend an author or fanfic you love @ellieellieoxenfree

💌 ⇢ how many unread emails do you have right now?  in my business inbox, 51. In my personal account, 0

🌻 ⇢ tag someone you appreciate but don't talk to on a regular basis@sparkly-butthole-on-ao3

🐇 ⇢ do you prefer writing original characters, reader inserts, or a mix of both?  I used to be really into writing the OG characters

🧃 ⇢ share some personal lore you never posted about before I have come to terms that I will always have an eating disorder, the difference now is that I've decided to profit from it.

🎲 ⇢ what stops you from writing more in your free time? I am fucking exhausted, fam. And the supreme lack of interest in my writing in this new fandom. Feeling unwanted and tired has managed to give me a writer's block that I have successfully dodged for 20+ years.

🍄 ⇢ share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings

Here's two-

Geralt and Jaskier are so in love with each other, even platonically. They don't want to admit it, but they have a really warm and cozy love bubble around them and both are afraid that if they speak about it, it'll make them feel less giddy and elated and pull this bubble into reality, making it vulnerable to being popped by evil forces.

Jace's nonchalant attitude re: the people he bangs and his unflinching love for Alec always made me think he is an in denial asexual - he is obviously not sex-repulsed but he wields sex like a weapon or like a quick fix to avoid looking at deeper emotions affecting him. I fucking love Jace to death, he gets so little credit.

🧸 ⇢ what's the fastest way to become your mutual?

talk to me on tumblr

🪐 ⇢ name three good things going on in your life right now

My cat's health is better

I am losing weight and gaining muscle, feeling fitter than in my 20s

I found a hairdresser I absolutely love going to

📚 ⇢ what's the last thing you wrote down in your notes app? some Korean words for reference. In Korean.

  🍬 ⇢ post an unpopular opinion about a popular fandom character Yennefer is a gigantic selfish asshole, with only moments of emotional clarity and kindness and she treats Geralt like absolute crap most of the time.

🔪 ⇢ what's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project? yeah not gonna make the FBI man's job easy. stay wondering, bro!

🦷 ⇢ share some personal wisdom or a life hack you swear on

It's always better to assume people are assholes by default and then let yourself be pleasantly surprised when they are decent than the other way around. Saves you a world of disappointment.

❄️ ⇢ what's your dream theme/plot for a fic, and who would write it best?

I can't pick rn.

🌿 ⇢ give some advice on writer's block and low creativity

The only way around it is through it. It helps to do various other creative things, it will recharge your creativity in the realm you feel it's low in. Like if you have writer's block, make some art. Draw some shit, splash some colours, bake and decorate a birthday cake, go outside and photograph some flowers.

🥐 ⇢ name one internet reference that will always make you laugh "My butthole! I blew out my butthole!"

  🏜️ ⇢ what's your favourite type of comment to receive on your work? When someone picks their favourite parts of the chapter or fic, and details their thoughts on it for my enjoyment.

🍦 ⇢ name three good things about a character you hate Alec is a good leader, perseverent and insightful.

🥝 ⇢ do you lie a lot? what's the most recent lie you told? God I used to lie more often than I breathed when I was a kid and a teen. Lately I just lie to get out of having to socialise.

🦋 ⇢ share something that has been on your heart and mind lately 

I find stanning a K-Pop group to be 20% fun and 80% disheartening if you're older because you definitely feel like you can't sit with the cool kids and everything is just a really good, hi-def illusion set up to make you bust your wallet wide open, so every moment of genuine relatability and connection is invalidated by the feeling that these people are part of a marketing strategy. It's kind of like going to see strippers and even if you like one, you know that even if you fell in love with them, you're not allowed to get to know them because for them it's just work and you are only worth the cash you pay in their eyes. The closeness is an illusion that leaves you feeling even lonelier and sadder than you were before.

🦴 ⇢ is there a piece of media that inspires your writing?  There are a lot of them but my core reference is Anne Rice's writing. Now I am writing something that was inspired by the portrayal of Jack Reacher in the "Reacher" series on Amazon.

🍅 ⇢ give yourself some constructive criticism on your own writing It would be nice if I could write stuff that's relatable to others, not just to me. But that would mean biiiiiiiig consciousness shift and I'm extremely pussilanimous when it comes to this.

🐚 ⇢ do you like or dislike surprises? I think the delivery matters a lot - a surprise is being told something that you don't know yet, and if the person breaking the news makes it seem like a heart attack from shock is the adequate response, then better don't tell me, just show me.

🪲 ⇢ add 50 words to your current wip and share the paragraph here

Hyunjin had made himself comfortable on his bed, with his legs propped up on the headboard, leaving just his shirt and his socks on. He intended to drag it out as much as he could and get the most out of those pics.

Magazine in one hand, dick in the other - that’s how Changbin had found him, walking in to ask a very pressing question. (65 words bc just the 50 didn't make sense alone.)

☁️ ⇢ what made you choose your username? Thinking about my love-hate relationship with writing.

🐝 ⇢ tag your biggest supporter(s) and say one nice thing about them

@hardcandythinking is my bestie and my number 1 fan. She's the real MVP.

🌸 ⇢ do you have any pets? if you do, post some pictures of them

🎨 ⇢ link your favourite piece of fanart and explain why you like it

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by 𝐆𝐄𝐑𝐀 🌻 STAYTIST (@kerimaix)

This is so surreal - Chan is a human with two sets of ears and the rest of the members are tiny wee animals - and the love, goofiness and fun are so well captured. This artist also depicts Chan as shy and cute, and I prefer this to the hard dom or arrogant inaccessible guy takes I see more often. Like I get it's appealing to others but I like a squeaky, shy guy better than any alpha dude character.

🧩 ⇢ what will make you click away from a fanfiction immediately?

poor characterization on a macro level

crass and goofy consistent misspelling like "nobbing" instead of "nodding", "viscous" instead of "vicious", "colon" instead of "cologne"

offputting descriptions like "chubby little cock" or "fat mushroom" (used for dick tips). I would lose my erection if someone talked to me like that irl

[xuelingxu]

I had this thought on Cirillac'h mixing Avallac'h from books and games. In books Ava says to Geralt that after one hundred years of living sex gets boring ( The Sage is 400, 500? years old) but in the games we stumble across his jelaous lover, also I can't forget the reddish bedroom and the rope nearby it 🙈 a strong hint btw. Was he temporary asexual before or what? Did It changed when he started to spend time with Ciri who transformed from a teenager to a beautiful woman? I need to understand this 😅

First of all, there is a difference between book!Ava and game!Ava, and even their personalities have been adjusted somewhat.

Secondly, Ava was about 450+, and in the books, his complaints were based on the concerns of a high class about the future development of Aen Elle (low fertility). His secret lab lover was the elfess he invited on board for a date at Tir na Lia at the time, and their relationship had been supposedly (sexually) companionable long before. I don't think he was temporary asexual, but he did also become bored with sex and lacked passion. So, he had hookah, rope, and vervain perfume in his lab, which were all designed to arouse or stimulate orgasm - he needed to do this with the help of props.

Finally, Ava transferred a large part of his feelings for Lara to Ciri, which I think was pretty obvious. So, "when he started to spend time with Ciri who transformed from a teenager to a beautiful woman, it changed." Your speculation is a big possibility. I think he had a desire for Ciri, because of an obsession with Lara, or an obsession with the Elder Blood, or an obsession with Zireael herself, in short, it was obsession.

The understanding of Cirillac'h is indeed to mix Avallac'h & Ciri from books and games, which is their growth, both in terms of characters and their relationship.