#as you can see i am very normal about this game
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Tyler had issues with his older stepbrother. Every weekend, he would tie him up and force him to smell his smelly gym socks for hours before releasing him. Sometimes, he would play video games while using his face as a footrest. Smelly socked feet would cover his face while his stepbrother was completely ignoring him and focused on his game. He really wanted to pay Collen back for the multiple weekends of torture at the mercy of his feet.
As the weekend was approaching, Tyler hatched his plan. He saw Collen in his room gaming on his console. "I brought you a drink." He spoke as he handed him the open energy drink can.
Collen took the drink and began to take it down. "Tomorrow's Friday, and I think I will wear a pair of socks that I wore three days straight in a row." He paused, looking directly at Tyler with a devioius smile. "They will smell so good on your face. Also, a big game is coming on Saturday. You will make a good smelly footrest." He laughed again as he finished his drink.
Tyler looked pleased as he waited for the formula to take effect. It was a two for one formula. It would shrimk the victim and make them extremely durable. This weekend would not be Collen's fun, but his fun.
Collen felt like the controller was getting larger for some reason. It began to get bigger than his hands. He looked up to see even his stepbrother was getting bigger. He was about to ask what was going on, but he realized it was all too late. He was shrinking rapidly. The smile on Tyler's face said it all.
Tyler reached down and picked up his now tiny stepbrother. "All those weekends of being your smelly footrest, now, it's my fun." He spoke down to him in his hand.
"What will you do with me." Collen asked, feeling freightend at his current size.
"Oh, you will see." Tyler went back to his bedroom. He took out a pair of socks. He dropped Collen in one of them. He then put on his socks. He could feel his tiny stepbrother squirming under the ball of his foot. "I am going for a nice jog. I hope you enjoy the ride." He laughed as he put on his running shoes. He unfortently had only one pair, and they smelled bad. Pay back time, he thought to himself.
Collen was in the most foul pit he could possibly imagine. The odor from the sneaker was so bad. He was gagging from the stench. He desperately wanted fresh air. He couldn't move as he was completely pressed down by the ball of his stepbrother's foot. The pressure of each step hurt his tiny body. As Tyler began to jog, that pressure got worse. It felt never-ending. Not long after, Tyler's foot began to sweat. He was forced to taste the sweat dripping from his giant foot. He mentally begged for this torment to come to an end. The jog seemed to last forever. He just wanted to be out and back to normal. He would never torment his stepbrother again with his stinky feet.
Tyler returned two hours later. He took off his shoes and sweaty socks. He fished out his tiny toy and rubbed him up against his bare and sweaty foot. "You like to force me to smell your feet. How did it feel to be completely under my foot now?" He asked with a smirk on his face.
"Okay, I get it. I promise not to make you smell my feet anymore. Just make me normal size now. You had your fun." Collen pleaded. He definitely wasn't going to be torturing Tyler anymore for a long while. Those two hours in his sock felt like days.
"Sorry, but I could only afford 2 in 1 shrink formula. It was really expensive. I have to save up for the reverse formula. Until then, you are stuck this size." Tyler spoke, feeling very little remorse over shrinking him. It was all true. The first formula cost him a lot. He couldn't buy both. Yet there was also a lie. He had no intentions of buying the reverse formula. Collen would be his to play with as he pleased for a long time.
#inanimate transformation#foot domination#shrinkage#tf story#permanent transformation#giant vs tiny#giant master#tiny foot toy
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Wait hold on, what line in canto 2 about bitten off fingers?
Ask and you shall recieve, the bit of dialogue that has been a freeloader in my brain for no fucking reason!
So, in case you forgot what happens in Canto 2 (which I feel like a lot of the fandom did), the context for this is that all of the Sinners are hiding away from sight of the guards in front of the Vault, huddled together enough of a distance away for it to take a bit before the Sinners notice there's Peccatula locked away in cages.
That particular cutscene ends on this bit of dialogue.
Now. This bit of dialogue has been stuck in my mind for a long fucking time, because there's so much about it that feels so odd.
For one, this is one of the few times we're directed to pay attention to Hong Lu's mannerisms, the way he seems to add those stupid comments after making genuinely good observations, as if to make himself look dumber. Dante notices this is a pattern, but at this point they don't know Hong Lu well enough to recognise why he does that, plus later developments in the story lead Hong Lu to be a bit more open about his intelligence, enough for Dante to make note of the fact that Hong Lu is smarter than he acts.
But that's not the part that struck me the most. No, it's the fact he says that line at all.
Consider the context of the scene. The Sinners are hiding away at a distance, they can't get too close without revealing themselves. Hong Lu, at enough of a distance to not be seen, not only noticed that there's people missing fingers and other body parts, but was able to recognise that they were Specifically Bitten Off.
This is Hong Lu we're talking about. The guy who acted shocked upon seeing a torn down building, and whose reaction to wearing a disguise is effectively going "oh, just like in the movies!". Why the fuck would a guy like that know what a human bite wound looks like. Know what it looks like well enough to recognise it at a distance no less.
And before anyone goes "oh but Lu, how do you know it's caused by a human?", it's the only option that makes sense in context. The Peccatula are locked in cages and aren't released until after the Sinners are caught, plus with the shocked reactions the guards have to the Peccatula turning on them, it's clear there were no previous incidents like that.
This bit of dialogue has been the bane of my existence, almost entirely because it happened Specifically In Canto 2, the canto that foreshadows so fucking much in random lines of dialogue just because there's enough comedy to distract you from noticing them.
#ask#anon#lu speaketh#limbus company#hong lu lcb#lcb analysis#as you can see i am very normal about this game
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[This has been sitting in my draft for a while lol]
When it comes to Curly's failings, I always see people bring up his obvious failure to protect Anya and him prioritising Jimmy, who was the rapist in that situation. Which is completely valid btw and we should rake him through the coals for that alone even more. But I also see too many people saying that Curly "didn't enable Jimmy" or playing softball for his actions. And I could maybe see where that comes from if that incident was the only thing we had to point to-- but that wasn't all he did, is it? Curly being indifferent or not taking Jimmy's mistreatment and belittlement of Anya seriously was hinted at so much earlier than that.
Namely, the very first time we play from Curly's point of view. Let's just skip the fact that Curly was putting everyone in danger by not taking his psych evals seriously and simply giving the same answers to pass them even tho he was shown literal minutes after this scene being clearly not-sane, and go straight to the point I actually wanna get into. Which is this:
These scenes in isolation wouldn't be that bad. From his pov, it's played off as comical and it is. Jimmy being a brony (not really lmao) and getting playfully dragged over it is funny. But unfortunately this is the first example out of many for Curly's complacency. Anya is complaining about Jimmy not taking his psych evals or her seriously, which is easy to believe considering how much he rags on her for "not being a good nurse" (she kept Curly alive on hopes and dreams how dare you). So he keeps making her do silly and inappropriate reports she clearly doesn't wanna do, which is kinda shitty (also borders on harassment). But rather than actually saying something about Jimmy's behaviour or even acknowledging how it sucks he says this:
Mate, that's not a good thing 💀 He's clearly aware that the problem is Jimmy's lack of respect for Anya specifically. He knows that if he, his friend and a man in power, were the one doing the evals Jimmy wouldn't try that disrespect. But it's Anya, a meek woman who ranks lower than him so he thinks he can get away with it (which he DOES), and Curly's shown as comfortable in knowing that. He doesn't chew Jimmy out for making Anya uncomfortable nor does he reassure her that he will do something about it. All he does is take it off her hands this once and helps Jimmy power through it to get a good diagnosis (even tho we know he's DEFINITELY not sane either). He doesn't even mention Anya's discomfort or confront him on his inappropriate behaviour, just teases Jimmy in good fun instead because he doesn't think of it as anything serious. It's subtle and pretty minor in comparison to everything else, but I think it's worth pointing out. Especially because this convo takes place after Jimmy had assaulted her, which makes this so much worse.
If you need any more evidence of Curly being an enabler you need not look further than Anya herself. And I'm not just talking about the way he failed her here-- I'm talking about Anya's own view of Curly and the way said view influences her actions.
Just look at her choice of wording. "What would you have done". This is in response to him saying that she could've come to him if she were feeling stressed, which she-- in his eyes-- didn't. The question itself implies that she had no faith in Curly to actually help despite his insistence that he would've, which I think is significant because it shows that she's very much aware of Curly's shortcomings when it comes to her situation AND it's one of the first (or the first time) she actually verbalised her lack of trust towards him or anyone directly. Prior to this scene she had told him about her rape and the rapist, presumably because she trusted him to handle it. And he dismissed her because the rapist was his best friend, and that evidently deeply scarred her. Enough so that she secretly took the gun and hid it someplace else and didn't even tell Curly were that was, because she knows that if Curly has access to it there's a so much greater chance Jimmy will have too, insinuated by the line "the least I can do is make sure he never gets it either". Speaking about the gun:
It sucks so bad that this perception of him isn't even inaccurate nor unjustified. That despite everything Jimmy had done to her and everything he could still do to her, he'd very likely still not allow her access to the gun for protection. Because that's exactly what he didn't do anyway. He didn't attempt to keep her safe from Jimmy, instead he just pretended that nothing was wrong and still let Jimmy's belittlement of her pass. He didn't give her the gun after the incident, because she wouldn't have hid the case if he had. Despite his desperate reassurance that he'd do anything, he did nothing but make it worse for her and she KNOWS that. It's so frustrating knowing he entrusted the axe to Swansea when he needed it but not the gun to Anya when she needed it too. Also this:
The fact that his knee-jerk reaction to her admitting that she's pregnant was "Who would you--" is so fucked, especially considering she's already told him what happened. "Who would you" what? Who would you fuck? Who would you have sex with? That choice of wording drives me up a wall-- SHE wouldn't and didn't do anything or anyone. That was JIMMY. The potential sentence implies that she had any choice or agency in her pregnancy. She didn't. And the fact that Curly had to ask "who" insinuates that he's been putting Jimmy's action out of sight and out of mind the whole time, choosing to not think about them or what happened to Anya at all. And considering he still made her do Jimmy's evaluations despite being able to do them himself and literally didn't even think of making sure she gets psych evals done too--especially AFTER getting sexually assaulted--that might actually be the case (I haven't seen anyone make a stink about that piece of info so I'm going to because what kinda colossal fuck up IS that??).
I vaguely had a post like this in mind but seeing so many people be like "well Anya did some wrong stuff too like leaving Curly alone with Jimmy but you don't get mad at HER for that so why is Curly not doing anything about Jimmy being alone with Anya so different??" actually makes me want to blow some people up. Jimmy's an abuser, sure, but Anya has no real reason to believe that he'd actually harm Curly. From her perspective, they were close, close enough that Curly would not only let Jimmy continuously disrespect her but also get away with assaulting her too. That, and she knows that Jimmy was closer to Curly than anyone and more likely to be civil around him than he ever was to her. She has barely any reasons to suspect Jimmy would harm Curly when they're alone. Curly, on the other hand, has every fucking reason on the planet to think Jimmy would harm her when they're alone. He knows he raped her (likely in her room at night too). He knows that he sexually harasses her. He knows that he doesn't respect her at all. And that was BEFORE the crash. Anya tried insisting on giving Curly his medicine, only for Jimmy to keep aggressively insisting that he'll take care of it despite her protests. Curly didn't try to keep them separate at all even though he was the Captain and had the power to do so. And this should go without saying, but leaving your rapist alone with his best friend that he was close to and enabled/protected him and leaving your friend alone with the woman he raped (and might have repeatedly assaulted given his free access to her) is NOT THE SAME and I'm going to start chucking some people down a waterfall because what the fuck is that argument 💀 Actually leave it to the fandom of the game where the rape of a woman is the catalyst for the events that unfold to use her trauma to defend the guy that enabled it in the first place. Bloody hell.
The reason why this whole Curly discourse pisses me off is because it-- from what I can see-- ONLY brings up his failures 1-0 days before the crash and the Dead Pixel scene (or all the discussion around other points are drowned out by those two). Those scenes, while important to talk about, are not the only things he's done, and focussing on those as the only things is a mistake that comes short of understanding the issue. When it comes to Curly the main defences I see for him are "he was trying not to escalate the situation" and "he was trying to keep things under control the best he can" and "he was waiting for the right time to help Anya", but those don't work when you look at the bigger picture of everything he's done.
He half-assed through his psych eval despite clearly not being sane (and KNOWING he's barely sane, he literally admits it to Jimmy's face). He still continued to task her with Jimmy's psych evals. He brushed over Jimmy's sexual harassment of her as a joke. He didn't think about making sure she got psych evals done herself after being raped. He gave Swansea the axe but didn't give Anya the gun despite it being for "unrest amongst the crew" (whatever the hell THAT means). He let her assault slip his mind that she had to remind him. He's literally a blond man. He took no action to hold Jimmy responsible for anything, and prioritised how his violation of Anya would affect him rather than her. He ignored her demands for him to get rid of Jimmy. He still allowed Jimmy free reign of the ship as co-pilot even after he was openly fantasising about killing everyone and had a major motive and the means to do just that. He was potentially thinking of making her miscarry to cover up what happened. He was so accustomed to her sucking up being disrespected and disturbed that he didn't even notice a difference in her behaviour until she hid the fucking gun. There's so much other shit he's done and hasn't done, and not talking about them or glossing over them makes it so easy for people to argue that he isn't actually an enabler or just minimise the severity of his neglect.
And while I'm already dragging Curly through the mud, I might as well just drag Swansea too. I've seen too many people being like "Anya should've told Swansea instead" and "Swansea was the one that actually took responsibility". Like, y'all realise he's not that much better than Curly, right? He already knew about what happened to Anya-- he admits it to Jimmy's face-- but he didn't do shit. He knew, but he still got completely shitfaced for months despite her earlier protestation to that (for very understandable reasons). He knew, but he still let Jimmy have the axe AND be alone with Anya while having it. He knew, but when Anya locked herself in the Medical and Daisuke and Jimmy asked for his help he didn't budge nor really showed any care. He knew, but the reason he finally decided to do something about Jimmy wasn't Anya, it was Daisuke. Her suffering and her eventual death weren't enough for him to take action either.
This game, on top of everything else, is a great depiction of rape culture. It doesn't just include the rapists, but the people (mostly men) that stay silent, do nothing, make excuses for and protect the perpetrator for whatever reason, and Swansea and Curly (Curly way more so than Swansea) are both active contributors to the environment that allowed for evil to flourish and continue unhindered until it destroyed them all. And while that arguably doesn't make them evil themselves or as bad as Jimmy, they are so much more a part of the bigger problem than the fandom likes to admit.
[Ok since this is kinda gaining a bit of traction please consider helping these guys out here, here and here. Thanks!]
#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#curly mouthwashing#captain curly#anya mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing#swansea mouthwashing#do not come for me curly fans i'm one of y'all i promise. kinda#if i had a nickle for every time i made a post dragging a blond man i'd have three#which isn't a lot now but that number will likely increase in the future lmao#seriously tho i'm so sick of seeing people be all “there's no evidence that he's an enabler” and “he did all he could” like screw you guys#the point of the whole story is that his inaction is what allowed for everything to happen#that his willingness to do nothing put him in a state where he can only watch the horrors without being able to do anything if he wanted to#it's about TWO captains who kept going on about taking responsibility and did anything BUT that#he's not as horrible as jimmy obviously but he doesn't need to be to do damage and be awful#you know what i very well may just be a lot meaner and uncharitable to him than i should be here#but i guess tumblr can be the judge of that. i still rest my case. now time to continue avoiding curly discourse like usual XD#normally i wouldn't care enough to make a post about the way the fandom treats him because it's nothing unique or anything#but something about this game and him being blond specifically made me unable to resist. i just can't be nice to him for that alone#pardon the typos i whipped this up in a hurry and am too lazy to go over everything right now#momento rambles
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so mad that im being this unwell about the malevolent cowboy au
#im gonna have to read it again today it's consuming my brain#was playing the funny video game and had to go full like. head in hands thinking about malevolent cowboy au#i am not being normal about it#i posted about it yesterday but i don't remember under which blog so im just doing it here because sure that can go on main#i need to go pace around with my arms behind my back like a detective with a cold case or something#every time i think about it i am putting my face in my hands i am not being normal#giggling twirling my hair et cetera. you understand#im having a normal time about the malevolent cowboy au. i am being very normal about repressed gay men with catholic guilt#i havent reblogged it because i am not even articulate about it i am just. SDFGHJK#just going to start making tv static noises about it. that should be enough#not tagging this as malevolent people don't need to see this#i called it the ananxiousgenz one yesterday i shouldve said the ananxiousgenz and percymawce-arts one because it's co-written but i forgot
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Bail/Breha/Fox - 35. A kiss against a wall
(hi hello yes hi I’m normal just thinking about this I swear it is in no way consuming my mind)
(hello hi yes hello to you too, I'm very normal about all of this as well)
Fox was very used to how high-society parties worked by now.
He had spent three years of his life providing security for a variety of events, familiarising himself with all the different customs and proceedings that went with different occasions. Of course being the security was a different thing to being a guest, but luckily, Fox was a fast learner. He had quite literally been designed to be adaptive and good at memorising even the smallest of details. So, at the very least, social events had not been a problem for him while integrating to living as a civilian and a royal. On top of everything, he didn’t even have to be in armor anymore.
Still, Fox could admit that the night had been rather long, no matter how much more comfortable he was now. At least the more formal proceedings were out of the way now, and the free hours of the evening for mingling and talking with the other guests had started, but even that had been going on for a while now.
At least there were drinks, and his wife and husband.
Fox had spent the start of the night with Bail and Breha. It was pretty much customary, as Fox was a new addition to the family, and thus had to be paraded around a little, so he could meet and greet all the other important people. As the night went on, though, Fox had been more free to find his own company.
It had been rather easy, and Fox had even found a kindred soul. A young new Princess of a Mid-Rim planet, who had just married the Crown Prince of the planet after the war had ended. She and her new husband came from very different circumstances, as she had grown up very poor on Ryloth, and had faced many hardships during the war and even before it. She and Fox came from similar enough situations that they very much understood each other, at least when it came to marrying someone who was much, much more important in the eyes of the Galaxy than you ever were.
So, all in all, Fox’s night was going pretty good, even though he was getting kinda tired and a little…well, bored was not the right word, but close enough.
He glanced towards Breha and Bail. They were talking with other people a small distance away. They looked stunning, as usual. The blue dress Breha was wearing seemed like it had a slight sparkle to it in the lights of the hall, and it made her eyes shine brightly as well. Bail’s suit made him look somehow even more broad from his shoulders than he already was, and the dress pants and boots of said suit made his legs also look somehow even longer than they already were, which was quite a lot.
They had gotten Fox a new suit that went with theirs. They had actually gotten Fox a lot of new clothes, and Fox was very sure that they had enjoyed the whole process of getting them a whole lot more than Fox had, based on the very…intense reactions they seemed to get.
Not that Fox didn’t enjoy it. Quite the opposite.
Bail looked towards him, and caught his eye. There was a quick glint of something sharp in his gaze as he looked at Fox, something that made Fox’s skin instantly a bit warmer underneath his new suit.
Fox watched as Bail leaned to say something to Breha’s ear. She glanced towards Fox as well. Her lips curled up into a smirk for a split second, and she whispered something back to Bail. Bail nodded, straightened up, and made his way towards Fox.
They talked for a moment longer, Bail and the Princess exchanging some pleasantries. Bail was standing very close to Fox the whole time, his hand coming to rest against the small of Fox’s back. Fox could swear that he could feel the warmth of the touch through his suit.
The Princess’s husband came along then, and very soon after, Bail bid them both farewell, and after Fox had managed to say his goodbyes as well, he was led away, through the hall and through one of the smaller archways and down a corridor.
“Are we going somewhere?” Fox asked.
“Just stepping out a little”, Bail answered. “We’ve been here before. I know a nice, calm spot.”
Just then he pushed one door open to another hallway, where the sounds of the party only came as muffled. Fox opened his mouth and was just about to ask if there was a particular reason they wanted to step out for a moment, when Bail’s hand slip up and he grabbed Fox by the arm, his other hand coming up to Fox’s shoulder, and he turned Fox around and pushed him somehow both gently and firmly, until Fox’s back was against the wall of the corridor.
Fox tilted his head up without Bail having to even ask, and Bail, reading him like an open manual, didn’t waste any more time, and dove down and pressed his lips against Fox’s.
This wasn’t the first time they had kissed like this, tucked away to some corner or empty hallway, Fox pressed against the wall so Bail could shield him with his body. It had always been exhilarating, a mix of wonder and nerves coming together.
Now he didn’t have to be nervous anymore, straining to hear if someone was coming. Now he could just enjoy it all to the fullest.
Fox’s mouth was tingling slightly when Bail blacked away just a little. He was looking at Fox with an expression that was very clearly telling that he was wholly enjoying the view in front of him.
“I must admit”, he murmured. “I do find this even more pleasant now, in these improved circumstances.”
Fox snorted a little.
“Improved circumstances, also known as being married?” He asked.
Bail grinned slightly.
“Exactly so”, he said, and then glanced to the side from the corner of his eye. “Your turn now, my love.”
Fox looked to the side as well. Breha was standing there, watching them with a sharp grin of her own on her lips. Fox had not even noticed her there, though that was very much not his fault, as he had been decidedly occupied just now.
“Thank you”, Breha said. Bail grabbed Fox’s arms again and pulled him away from the wall. There was a split second of confusion in Fox’s head, before Bail turned him around yet again and leaned now against the wall himself, pulling Fox to lean against his chest. His other arm dropped down and sneaked around Fox’s waist, keeping him very much in place.
“Do you like the view?” He asked, his voice low, and it sent a shiver down Fox’s back, even though the question had been for Breha. Bail’s other hand came up, and he brushed his knuckles gently down Fox’s jawline.
Breha stepped closer, lifting her own hand up to mirror Bail’s gesture, her hand finally coming to rest against the side of Fox’s face. Fox was sure that she could feel how hot his skin was under her touch, based on the way her grin sharpened more and her eyes lit up in clear delight.
“I do”, she said, and pressed herself against Fox. She tilted Fox’s head down, and reached up, until Fox could feel her breath against his lips. “Very much so.”
She closed the impossibly small gap and pressed her sweet, scorching lips to Fox’s, and Fox very, very much agreed with Bail about the improved circumstances.
#as you can CLEARLY see#I am indeed very normal about them and all of this#very normal uh-huh#how did that one post about ot3's go?#it's people kissing against the wall but sometimes that wall is just another person#I have one more of these coming up for the night and the rest tomorrow#since this kinda. escaped from me. as you can see#I must reiterate that I am very normal about them#sw#tcw#Star Writing#my writing#ficlets#ask games#Commander Fox#Bail Organa#Breha Organa#bail/breha/fox
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Before we call anon rude because let’s see it from their perspective, imagine getting an entire feast to eat. That can be pretty hard to start with so much that’s going on, but if they start with one thing they know they’ll like (aka one character they like) that can be the start for them leaping to other characters to finish the story and the bigger story. I struggle the same way to start book series if I don’t have at least one character that drives me to read it, it’s all about what can be the hook to push them through. Sounds like the anon is neurodivergent (just a guess) so they might genuinely not see it as rude and see it as a solution to even play the game to start with.
Btw absolutely adore the game, the complex and rich characters making them all so unique is amazing. The art is so pleasing to the eyes I love it!! I’m waiting for it all to get out at once so I don’t get too impatient. Shae however interests me the most, which routes will have the most lore for them? Will there be routes that give more lore in general based on decisions you make or do they all share the same amount? (I mean general lore not just Shae lore)
Apologies; we are not trying to accuse any asker of being rude! We are simply explaining our perspective as the developers / are trying to broadly encourage folks to dip their toes into other areas of the story outside of the main route(s) they're interested in, especially considering some routes will be made available sooner than others, and these other routes will likely contain additional scenes/lore of everyone's fave(s) regardless! We want to give each main cast member an equal amount of love (and lore) regardless of their overall popularity, so our goal is not to tut-tut anyone for having strong preferences for one character over the others, but rather to explain that you may be surprised by how much *more* you learn about your preferred characters in the other routes. That's all!
For Shae... Well, they were a foot soldier for one of the worst periods of the War. Lore wise, any other story that touches on the War will likely have content relevant to them and their experiences. ^^
#ask#clotho answers#edit/final note: we got a *few* asks on this subject and will not likely answer all of them for the sake of our followers' dashboards#but we also want to note that part of our encouragements here come from the fact that Flan/Keagan are our most popular characters by a lot#and we want to do what we can to gently nudge folks who may not want to romance the fem / nb characters into checking out their stories#despite not being into them romantically. this is half of why we have platonic routes to begin with#we recognize veterans to the dating sim world may feel less inclined to romance characters that don't align with their irl orientations#this isn't a bad thing. some people steer clear of dating sims altogether because they're aro or just not interested in romance stories etc#but the unintentional side effect of this is it has a chilling effect on developers even in the indie sphere to make less diverse stories#if Flan and Keagan are our most popular characters then they will be our most *profitable* characters in the long run#and as much as we would love to not care about money and just produce the story we want to tell#we live in a society (tm) and need to eat#if at the end of ndm's development we see that 90% of our engagement went toward the boys it is hard to ignore the financial incentive#to redirect our energy toward leaning into the 'tried and true' formula that assures we can buy groceries and make rent#basically what i am candidly saying here is capitalism is pretty bad for creative liberty unless you're already rich / able to self finance#which we are not. and currently none of the core devs make *anything* from ndm#it would be nice if it does turn a profit but that isn't a guarantee - which the team has accepted as a normal risk in game development#anyway this is getting rambly but the Point is that this goes beyond us wanting to make sure all sides of our story are equally appreciated#it is *partly* that - we do want players to experience the entirety of our artwork#but it's not just for our egos - it's so we can keep making art like this#i considered including this in the body of the post but money talk suuucks man#and i don't want anyone to think we're glaring at them in a holier than thou 'ah-ha! you don't want to play maeve's route because she's a#woman!' sort of way because i think that's a reductive way to look at things#people like what they like and there's nothing intrinsically wrong with that#but if you like that we're making a diverse story#with masc routes fem routes and nb routes#even if you don't personally want to romance x or y#it would help us if y'all play the platonic routes#we are trying our very very best to make the fem/nb routes interesting for Everyone so those stories don't get sidelined#and if you don't like them for their own sake - fair enough! can't win em all and we'll deeply appreciate that you tried anyway!
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misc. crosscode doodles
bonus doodles for an oc AU idea i had under the cut
#crosscode#emilie#lea#the designer#c'tron#my ocs#murasaki#kioshi sakamoto#scribblins#goddamn that's a lot of tags#anyway as you can see i am continuing to be so very very normal about this game
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I was just ambushed within the turbulent halls of my own mind by some headcanons about rye ingellvar's childhood that did 15000000 points of psychic damage to me and my heart personally and also made me almost sure of how I want to play it all at the end (very very differently from how I imagined going in!). some 'oh holy fuck this changes everything' rocking my own world bullshit going on in my neurons right now I'm reeling
#I'm sorry to say that despite what I expected I think the dread wolf might be going down violently on my first run???#not because *I* love solas any less but because of who rye is and some of the twists I know happen down the line#which does make for a neat thing b/c I meant to play the crow I'm going with second as initially incredibly hostile#and then growing to feel for him and redeeming him at the end.#so if rye starts out very reasonable and sympathetic and then is brought to 'haha. no. fuck you forever for that in particular' at the end#...a pleasing cosmic symmetry in it I must admit. perfect and also makes me feel a bit sick#I'll try to put together something coherent eventually but for now#it's sort of a 'my name is ellaryen ingellvar you killed the guy#that my brain went 'close enough welcome back beloved and much missed deceased father figure' over. prepare to despair and die'#I think just the killing part might not have done it but everything that comes after? rye is a chill guy until he finally decides#that enough is fucking *enough*. and that was the most enough of all time for them#it also explains rye's accent (one of his primary caregivers growing up was a dwarf)! so many birds with one stone here#also I am so fucking sad now and I did it entirely to myself. I love fiction I love games (embarassingly genuine)#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#oc: ellaryen ingellvar#thank god that the romanced solas playthrough is the second one tho that does make things less dire haha#adaar would have given it the good old college try to get solas to change his mind right to the end I think#but even his capable hands and politician's mind could not hold back the sheer beware the fury of a patient man storm#that is about to hit solas for the shit he just pulled. I think rye and solas are -- as it turns out -- TOO alike in many ways#...solas buddy I'm so sorry I'll come back for you on the second playthrough and make it right I swear fhsak#it's just that a second dead dwarf dad has joined the chat to haunt the narrative (and this time it's fucking personal frfr)#it's almost scary how quick I've gotten attached to my rook tho. I've waited A DECADE to save this bald elf man from himself#and then rye shows up with steel in his normally kind eyes going 'no. I want that fucker *dead*'. and I just go anything for you babyboy#I'll see what we can do. unspeakable stuff
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when the cat child you basically adopted years ago finally returns and oh they're twice your size now
#denko.arts#sfm#source filmmaker#oneshot game#pokemon#zeraora#cinderace#zorua#as you can see i am very normal about this hc now
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My brain is so full of Bees about Post-Shift 2.
It's a fan game that was delayed for 4 years -- by the time it released, fnaf fangames as a whole were not as popular as they had been, & most people in the scene had forgotten about Post-Shift 1, so not a lot of people heard about it/played it.
Worse still is the people who did talk about the game. Pretty unanimously, the consensus was this: this game is the craziest, most insane fnaf fangame. It's overly difficult with mechanics that have no rhyme or reason to them & tutorials that are wordy, unhelpful, & sometimes actively mislead the player, meaning you need to comb through a lot of text only to be misinformed. It's not as infamous as some other fangames, but it definitely was talked about very poorly.
In general, I think most of these criticisms were blown up out of proportion, but I can't really disagree with most people's problems -- it is difficult & wordy, & rather hard to understand. I think, however, that the game is still 1. Really fun, 2. Not a bad game at all, &, most importantly, 3. Is a free fucking game that was clearly a passion project. Most damn fangames never get off the fucking ground when made in groups because the creators will never make a red cent off the thing -- this game was made by one dude for 4 years & delivered to people for free. It didn't ask anything of you except to accept it as a difficult game & to not go in with wild expectations. The dev just wanted to make a game that was rough, but he also wanted to make a game that felt unique & was fun. & It is fun, too, is the damn thing.
#em.txt#ps2 post#post-shift 2#i obviously am biased#i also obviously have more to say#but for now i think this is a start. i think this is fine so far.#i got counter arguments i was gonna type about the problems#bc tbh i think the difficulty isn't as big a problem as the difficult curve -- it starts very high for a fangame#bc it assumed you know what they're like. you know how fangames work. but it over assumes that all the mechanics#work at the same frequency as other fangame#the difficulty curve of night 1 is pretty tough place to start which turned a lot of people off#especially with how long & unclear th tutorials are & of course night 1's tutorial starting with a character that is unused in that night#it's rough. night 2 is even tougher. but night 3 is a cakewalk once you beat 2 bc it only adds 2 threats#so you might expect the next night to be as easy or even easier & in my eyes yeah -- night 4 is easier than 1 even#except that it's completely different & is asking the player to learn a new game entirely which is its own difficulty#but i can crank out a night 4 easy peasy no prolem. so you might expect night 5 to be even easier right? WRONG#WRONG WRONG WRRRONNNGG even people who know what they are doing struggle#because a mechanic in the game actively increases the difficulty as the difficulty is increased which is EVIL#& night 6 is even harder i have seen 3 people beat night 6 it is absurd#i sat in a call with another PS2 fan who clearly played thr game s lot & loved it but they could not beat the night normally#& this night has fucking optional difficulty modifiers when you finish that make it harder it is hell on earth#there is no checkpoints it is bad it is so bad I haven't beaten it i talk abt this game every day i play all the nights#i do not fucking play this night bc the way the tutorial works is unreal & unhelpful it wants you to remember#all this shit but it removes the 'walk around & click things before the night starts to see how they work/where they are'#& then it changes every 2 hours to something new so you won 12-2 but you hit 2 & forgot this one person's mechanic#but the only way to read the tutorial again is to close the game bc it automatically puts you back into the night#& will not take you to the home screen to view the booklet for night 6 it's insane#so yeah. there is difficulty. but the difficulty curve being this inconsistent is worse tbh#i get night 6 is meant to be like a 'everyone is here!' bossfight but it's overwhelming & there is too damn much
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hooohoooohoooooo i think i need to go back to therapy im starting to have Thoughts that im too stupid for again
#sometimes i really think id like to feel something without stopping to analyse whether its fair and logical in this particular situation#but then i see someone else do that and get so frustrated and annoyed because can you not SEE how its useless and unwarranted and illogical#which is bad! this is a bad reaction! which i am beating away with a stick obv but its still there and i hate it#i wasnt always like this is the thing and i feel like its actively getting worse which is what worries me#i realised some time ago i dont actually go to therapy to Get Better. that is not really my intention deep down.#i dont need the therapist to tell me why im like this because im actually very good at connecting those dots and i like doing it actually#i feel like a private detective with a board of clues and red string. its fun. what i actually really go to therapy for#is to have someone whom i can PAY to listen to me do it because only this way i wont feel guilty about it lol#and it helps that it's a person who's smarter than me and has some actual academic knowledge that i lack#also ngl id like someone to Explain some things to me cause baby i just dont fucking get it. i dont *understand* why other people do that#and ngl its driving me crazy. its like trying to play a card game where i dont know any fucking rules and everyone else does#but the moment i ask for some i get bitchslapped. so all i know is what ive managed to Observe and its enough to survive ig#but you never know when you'll do something that seems completely normal to you and everyone at the table will start tweaking#its like the older i get the less i understand and its Weird
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just realised that the first media we consumed that made us REALLY sympathetic for the monster was that fucking point and click Mystery Case Files Ravenhearst game. bc that entire game i was legitimately fucking TERRIFIED of the ghost lady in that game but the second i found out her husband was abusive i doubled down on trying to help her escape. and the ending of that game Did make me cry out of fear but hey at least i did in fact help her escape
#i think that was the first game we ever like. completed. as well#NO it was hidden expedition amazon bc that one was less scary so it was easier to beat LMAO#we had both of those games on a single disc as a kid#one o those like. buy 2 for cheap game discs at like. best buy. i love those cheap bargain bin point and click games#hidden object games were my entire thing from the age of like. 8 to 12#we also had like. three ispy game discs one of which had FOUR separate worlds to go to#which upon my recent googling was like. multiple ispy games packaged into one which i cannot find any record of??#i know for a fact it had a space section the fantasy one and the school days one#and then we had treasure hunt and spooky mansion as separate discs#I FUCKING MISS SPOOKY MANSION i have a download of it but i CAN'T PLAY IT bc it was made for computers older than windows 7#it fucks up the aspect ratio of the screen and the mouse like. shows the cursor being about an inch to the left of where it Actually Is#its weird#anyway complete non sequitur here but I GOT THE STUPID ASS MULTIPLAYER ITEMS IN TERRARIA#i forgot i could just. make a multiplayer world. and not invite anyone to it. and get the items that way#so this can still be a purely singleplayer challenge i just have to click on a different menu to get these items#NOW I JUST HAVE TO FUCKING PAINTING HUNT. HOORAY 😳#they need to make a version of that emoji without the blush. i am not flushed i am fucking STARING AT U LIKE A MADMAN#the fucking. uluru painting. i chewed through 7 ENTIRE LARGE DESERTS FOR THAT FUCKING THING#7 LARGE WORLDS. DCU. DESTROYED ALL TRACE OF SAND. ONLY GOT ULURU IN AN OLD ABANDONED WORLD INSTEAD 😔#and now. now i have to search for fucking WALDO?????? WALDO????? this actually looped back around to the initial topic of the post huh#any hidden object BOOKS i would fucking eat up as well the Can You See What I See books??? i liked those better than ispy actually#walter wick is the one man responsible for my LIFELONGGGGGGG obsession with hidden object games#i LEARNED TO READ with ispy books initially and i fucking LOVED it it was so fun making learning a game#i learned to read like. wayyyyy faster than other kids apparently?#i dont remember what age but i was definitely early bc i knew enough that when i entered preschool i was like. past their starting level#i dont remember the details i just know like. i learned to read really early. and i was a late talker#but neither of my parents think i was. bc both of them were delayed in speaking too so they think its normal--#but like. my mom was Deaf she absolutely was a late talker#and my dad. well. lets just say my mother has less of the tism tendencies to gift to me#and also both were part of very very large chaotic families so like. mild neglect was part of the package yknow
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Nothing pisses me off more than when people talk about my friendships with mid-support needs autistics and other people with differently-wired brains as if I am descending to help them because I’ve taken them on as a charity case. That is NOT true. Oh they’re a burden because they’re neurodivergent? WELL GUESS FUCKING WHAT: SO AM I! THE REASON I HAVE SO MANY FRIENDS WITH SO MUCH SHIT WRONG WITH THEM IS BECAUSE I HAVE A LOT OF SHIT WRONG WITH ME. WE ATTRACT EACH OTHER! WE LIKE EACH OTHER! IT’S NOT THAT FUCKING HARD TO UNDERSTAND!
#How about I just start strangling ableists from now on?#Would THAT convince them I’m actually this person’s real friend?#Literally nothing I say to them is able to get through their dense fucking skulls—#as if it’s sooooo hard for them to believe I actually enjoy their company#Also (halfway unrelated): if I hear “It takes a special person to work with special children” one more time I am going to SCREAM#Tell me I’m calm; tell me I’m patient; tell me I’m creative— do NOT tell me I’m “special” for doing a job I LOVE#Can you imagine telling a quantum physics major “It takes a special person to solve special math problems?”#😂💀 WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. I’m gonna start saying that to people from other professions. To see how they like it.#The children are not a burden to me; the children are very enjoyable to be around#and I enjoy troubleshooting what is preventing them from learning and coming up with workarounds for them#I made a glued roll of paper for a kid who constantly peels their skin because I saw them peeling crayons#It works!#I made math problems into a Skibidi Toilet role playing game for another kid who hides under tables when it’s time to work. It works!#You know why I was able to come up with either of these inventions? Huh? You wanna fucking know?#1.) I peel my lips and mouth and palms of my hands and calluses and cuticles and scabs; and#2.) I have awful executive dysfunction and have to do weird stuff to engage myself#People talk to me like I’m one of the “normal” ones; little do they know I’m getting assessed for ADHD and score 142 on the RAADS-R#and I essentially self-destruct when I get mad so I don’t break valuable items or punch through drywall and oak doors#I give myself bruises that swell a half inch high and form hematomas under the skin#I think I’ve permanently weakened the blood vessels and a vein in my right thigh from beating it so much#because it only takes one well-placed blow on my right; but several blows to my left#And I can see the bruise pooling towards my heart along the path of that vein from day to day after the initial beating#and sometimes it just randomly aches when it’s not injured; so I have to shift my weight when the kids sit in my lap wrong#so with that and something else I did to it not super recently that I should have gone to urgent care for… I probably have nerve damage lol#so it’s gross when people say such things about other NDs to me as if I am above them#Just fuck off already
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theres a hypothetical instance of asylumstuck being written well and not incredibly offensive and yet every single time i see some old asylumstuck posts i am blown away by how they manage to get literally every depiction of mental illness incorrect. its like they googled the symptoms and then deliberately wrote against the reality of those illnesses. its like they googled awful stereotypes about mentally ill (mostly psychotic or suicidal people) and made it their personal project to include as many as they could
#i am not opposed to the idea of writing characters from anything in a psychiatric hospital#however#like from the bat they use the very sensational name 'asylum' which is okay i guess since its one word and well known enough#but to go on and be like#yeah terezi and john *know the truth* about them being in an au and believe theyre supposed to be gods in a video game#oh calliope has some weird fucked up writing combination of psychosis and DID#where she simultaneously thinks caliborn is a hallucination ('imaginary friend') and an alter that 'takes over when shes mad'#or like#gamzee is a murderer and a schizophrenic and a cannibal#or sollux has schizophrenia and bipolar disorder and its obvious op didnt google if you can have both at once bc theyd immediately see#that that would usually just be diagnosed as schizoaffective disorder#like im not saying you cant write this setting and write it well. but its so fucking obvious its coming from a sixpenceee sort of place#where psychosis and DID and ocd and personality disorders are creepy aesthetic horror movie things#like hey you guys know not every psychiatric patient is psychotic right. and psychotic people are normal right#ffs have some tact its really not hard to google the actual symptoms and testimony from people with these conditions#sorry this got really ranty it just blows me away how ive seen people posting about asylumstuck in this decade#sorry if i spelled asylum wrong in this post and didnt catch it ive got the dyslexia
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It’s thinking about my d&d character hours tonight. Here’s to characters who manage to become more than they were ever meant to be.
#I can’t get too into it without explaining the lore for our game#but it’s just that#when I created her she was defined by her pain and her trauma and she defined herself that way too#and our DM took one look at her and went actually this character has contributed to a great good in this world#and she is more than what she has suffered#and I just#fuck#you are more than your pain#even if you don’t know it right now#anyway as you can see I am so very normal about d&d#personal#for later#my posts for later#d&d#dungeons and dragons
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Sometimes I look outside my scope of mutuals and I'm like.....I'm glad I'm not them (whole essay in the tags)
#im going to ramble about a very touchy subject here but it pertains to 🐉♠️ which i am very open about shipping#apparently its Problematic or whatever 😭😭???? according to Some People#you know ive been thinking abt this for a while now but people really like spouting rhetoric abt how this or that is problematic without-#-really considering the specifics of why things are bad. things being bad are not the same as things possibly being uncomfortable#like people have an aversion to adult/minor ships or incest ships because these are real and tangible things that happen and are disgusting#i do feel like people have freedom over what they want to consume/create in fiction although those topics are an ick to me and i avoid it#but also you have to understand people dont like it primarily because of the realistic aspect of it and how it connects to reality#not a one to one but because reality already has these preexisting issues we naturally have an aversion to it#you cannot apply the same logic to like a dragon man x human ship because a dragon man is not going to scoop you from the sky#the ramifications of shipping an immortal and human are nonexistant and do not pertain to reality and cannot be judged on the same scale💀#well beside from the logic 🐉 is old in body but his mind develops in the way a fae would. and he is described to be young in fae#so up until now i assumed the normal assumption was to say that he is around ~18 in fae yrs by how he interacts with others in his yr#🐉 is like old in the way where hes lived for a long time and understands the passage of time#but hes processed it through the lens of a young person hence why he can come off as immature despite how old he physically is💀#like are we playing the same game?? if he was a well adjusted fully developed adult with a complete understanding of the world and stuff#like idk trein. none of the events in ch 7 would be happening. its kind of like a huge part of his character that despite his physical age#he IS still learning as he IS still young#i could go into a analysis of his character but thats for another time </33#anyways i see people . primarily young people. telling their mutuals you can or cant ship this and that#and im like its okay to not like ships if you personally find it uncomfortable but to police ur friends...for ships that arent even 'bad'#its insane to me...how do u live like this?#people really need to start thinking about the nuances and why things are the way they are in regards to fiction#instead of buying into that weird pr*ship/ant*ship thing 😭 ive always hated it its so dumb. my university professors wouldve hated it#theres no nuance like...none. personally i also think its why people have low reading comprehension these days too tbh#life is about looking at various viewpoints and coming up with your own opinion#not 'picking a side'💀 learn to form your own opinions. talk to people around you about it. do not constrict your opinions to black/white#its an extremely dangerous mindset to have even outside of literature and it makes you very susceptible to dangerous ideas/propaganda#anyways what im getting at is learn to have educated discussions with others and come up with your own opinions instead of picking a side#btw there is no right/wrong side in literary discussions. there is no good/bad side either. whatever you come up w someone will disagree#thats why its important to just believe what YOU believe in (and not parrot others💀). and also be open to change
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