#but hes processed it through the lens of a young person hence why he can come off as immature despite how old he physically is💀

[lanshappycorner]

Sometimes I look outside my scope of mutuals and I'm like.....I'm glad I'm not them (whole essay in the tags)

[i-heart-hxh]

I often hear people call Gon selfish, but I highly doubt he is. Personally, I can see this side of him only vaguely, so I have mixed feelings about this.

Do you think that's true? And if so, does he realise it or does he act this way unconsciously?

I do think he is, to a certain degree! But it's also one of the attributes that make him special and unique as a character, and I definitely don't think it makes him a terrible person or anything. It's also situational, as he can also be incredibly kind and helpful as well, even to strangers where he doesn't have much to gain in return from helping them.

Going back to one of the things I bring up frequently, HxH often plays with shounen tropes, and Gon's character is partly a twist on a typical shounen hero, but with some of those typical attributes magnified until they also become flaws. Gon is tremendously single-minded, determined, and stubborn, to the point where at times it becomes self-destructive and/or goes against reason entirely. These attributes go hand-in-hand with his selfishness.

Just a few examples of him being selfish include:

His fight against Hanzo and how he insisted on getting his way no matter what, even when what he wanted was unreasonable

Deviating from the plan when fighting Genthru when it wasn't necessary (and could have screwed up everything potentially), but he did this just for his own pride and satisfaction in the fight, and got his hand blown off in the process

What he said about knowing he can get his way with Killua if he doesn't give in

I feel like the selfishness partly comes from his personality, and it partly comes from his age and maturity level as well. He's right at an age where it makes sense for him to mostly focus on himself and his own desires, and not always be able to consider and incorporate the feelings of others as easily as someone who is more mature. He has a certain naiveté to him that is charming, but his views of the world can be overly simplified and strongly conform to his own priorities, which is partly why he struggles badly when confronted with the complex reality in the situation with Pitou healing Komugi. I personally think he'll mature out of some of the selfish tendencies he has due to immaturity, but a lesser degree of it will probably continue to be an aspect of his personality, because it's part of what makes him who he is.

I think him being somewhat selfish makes sense with his background, too--he was barely around any other children through his childhood, and he spent a lot of time in nature/around animals instead, so his socialization wasn't exactly normal in that regard. He likely didn't have to share and compromise nearly as much as children raised around many of their peers. He was around adults of various sorts as they came and went from Whale Island (hence why he does have good social skills in the first place), but that's different than sustained friendship with and exposure to peers. He also does have Ging's genes, haha--while obviously Gon isn't exactly the same as Ging in multiple ways, think of the kind of life Ging leads.

I think his selfishness is mostly harmless and just a character quirk...under "normal" conditions. The problem is that as the series goes on, he ends up in progressively more and more abnormal situations (i.e. Chimera Ant Arc) that he's not emotionally prepared for or equipped to handle as a young teenager, so he deals with them how he deals with everything--by viewing the world through his own personal, self-centered lens (not meant as a judgment), and prioritizing his own goals and interests even if it means disregarding those around him. And in a morally complex, painful, terrible situation like that, that kind of outlook leads to tragic outcomes.

I think he has some awareness of it, after all it's something Killua and others in his life comment on at times. That said, because it comes from a combination of his personality and maturity level, it's not always under his conscious control. It's just part of his default state of existence.

So, yes, I do think he has aspects of selfishness to his personality, but he can often be a kind/helpful/considerate and even at times selfless boy as well (in too many ways to easily list), and I do think he'll grow out of some of the selfishness at least--but keep just enough for it to still be an aspect of his personality to a certain degree. I think what happened in Chimera Ant Arc is something he's going to learn from deeply, and his selfishness was a part of what stoked that whole situation, though there were certainly plenty of other factors involved so it's not fair to simplify it down to only that.

[lucidpantone]

I know this is a controversial question so i would totally understand if you choose not want to answer, but im curious enough to ask anyway. Can you rank your fav remakes in order? Maybe add a comment about what you most appreciate about each remake (to soften the blow of any sensitive readers). Ofc if you couldnt connect with a remake you might wanna totally leave it out of the ranking...

Disclaimer this is gonna be long asf. So I like all the remakes so this is gonna be hard because of that. I don’t like one remake in its entirety I can find one season in each remake I wasn’t super stoked about and if you’re skamfr I can find 3 seasons hahah. So I am actually gonna do this by fav original 1-4 seasons and original seasons (OG excluded).

Season 1: Eva Skam Espana (Isa SkamNL is a super close 2nd)

I am gonna be frank my least fav season is Eva’s season in the original seasons. I don't dislike the plot its more like I just find the other plots of the other seasons way more interesting. However if I am gonna pick my fav adaptation its gonna be Eva from Espana. Mainly because some remakes take their jonas to far and they don’t know how to balance being inexperienced and immature with just being a plain dick (am looking at you wtfock and Austin). I hate when remakes take it to far and make the couple completely irredeemable. Also Jorge is just the best man. He tries so hard for Eva he tries to make things right and its just timing, immaturity on both parts. Also I love that above all Eva and Jorge are friends. Alongside with Lucas they are just like family and they can push aside their personal issues to be their for one another and I just think thats such a beautiful quality in Jorge and Eva.They both have good souls and I am happy they ended up together but I also feel like if they didn't they would be genuinely be happy for the other if they found someone else and fell in love and thats why I love them so much.

Season 2: Zoe Wtfock (but Nora Skam Espana is a close 2nd)

Here is what I love about Zoe’s season is that we see the pov of not just how Zoe was changing because she was opening herself to love but also how much Senne was changing as well and trying to address some issues he had been ignoring because he wanted to be a better man for Zoenne. For me Zoenne and Norandro are so amazing for this reason. We not only saw the girl processing how love was effecting her development but we got to experience Senne and Alejandro trying to become better men and really transitioning from boyhood to manhood via this self assessment period of themselves. I adore these two couples for this because I am so heavily invested in both the outcome of the girl and the guy. I guess with love stories there is that saying there is two sides to a story and then there is the truth and I feel like the noorhelm storyline has always been about hard truths. About young women challenging their perspectives on feminism, about young women acknowledging when they have been a victim of a crime/emotional abuse and not blaming themselves for it but knowing that they did nothing wrong and were undeserving of the act that took place. Also s2 plays on the concepts of manhood too. How approaching situations through the lens of rage and violence can develop into harmful and even predatory tendencies. Overall these two remakes stand out to me because they really speak to the lesson of how does one define themself in the whirlwind of love and what boundaries do you need to set so you don’t lose yourself in the process. Season 3: IT’S SO HARD PICKING JUST ONE!! (Am going to base this selection entirely off my fav Isak and their narrative arc versus the evak pairing because ultimately this season is about the Isak character not Isak & Even) Matteo Druck

Let me tell you no other Skam character has haunted me as much as Matteo. I think with Matteo his story was just so raw and unfiltered. Here was this boy he was so lonely, isolated, lost and really just didn’t think he was worthy of much. Matteo was approaching life expecting the bare minimum because he in many ways didn’t think he was deserving of much more. Matteo hid himself so deeply in what I refer to as the wall paper of life. Trying to blend in and stay invisible even tho this way of thinking was seriously effecting his mental health. I don't think he realized how far from shore he was before David slammed into his life and drag him out of the grip of the ocean’s current. Matteo was on the verge of drowning he just didn’t know it. And then came David and he just loved Matteo as is and I think a big reason for that is because no one had ever told either boy that they were perfect just as they were until they said it to one another. Both boys were going through life just accepting the bare minimum one because of societal barricades around gender and the other societal stigma concerning asking for help when suffering from mental health issues. In the end they found one another and said fuck it and fuck society as long as we have one another then we’re gonna get through this. However... having said that davenzi is not my fav evak pairing but Matteo is my fav standalone Isak. The prize for fav evak tho would go to Sobbe because I literally can’t picture two more in love people. Man the day Sobbe met I feel like inertia collapsed in on itself in their respective worlds. It really was the case that time stopped and that they were destined to find one another. They are so in love it just radiates off them. Also random note my fav Even is Joana. Hence why choosing an s3 is so hard because I like different components of s3 seasons.

Season 4: Sana Skam Italia

(this is a copy/paste my original why I love Italia s4 rant)

Say what you want about the casting(this is a fair argument) but I am really happy that SKAMIT gave us a love story centered around two muslim individuals and their differing approaches and interpretations of Islam. I think for me its that we are always trying to dilute Sana’s season with this western need to educate non-muslims and though I appreciate that I also want to see a love story that’s purely about the journey of young muslims and the issues they experience themselves and not via a western glazing. The thing that stood out for me in SKAMIT is how many different perspective of how Islam is practiced came to the forefront. Sana’s journey to understand and come to defend queerness. Muslim men (Sana’s brother) being offended because she assumed he was homophobic. Laui being in a healthy relationship as a muslim queer man. Malik openly talking about Islam and his separation from it but still a believer in a greater power(and not because he wants to drink and party). For me this was what the Sana season was suppose to be about putting the muslim experience front and center and unapologetically so.

Original Season: Nora Druck

I mean what a fantastic take on building new and improved squads with more diversity in race, sexual preferences and perspectives. I will say that I also do like the new squad from Skamfr. Its nice to see newgens that am truly excited about getting to know. Like I need to know everything about Ava pronto she is bae. I do have one random surprise about my next fav original season which for me would be Arthur for Skamfr. Honestly if we would have gutted the cheating plot we would have had a really interesting season about a young adult’s life being rocked by disability and trying to find themselves in this new landscape. Similar to Nora in Druck with MI and also the long term effects of experiencing violence in the household in Skamfr but yea so far Druck has been the only one to get a sound original season out and they should be commended for that.

[lady-divine-writes]

Coldflash - “Far from Helpful” (Rated PG13)

After a blast meant for Leonard Snart knocks Barry out cold and wipes his memory, Len follows the team back to STAR Labs to make sure he's alright. Of course, not being entirely welcome, he has to sneak in. But after one small slip of the tongue, Len might find himself watching over Barry permanently. (2359 words)

Written for @sparroet

Notes:  This is the first iteration of the story I wrote for @coldflashweeks Valentine’s exchange 2019 prompt - Barry suffers a permanent injury that affects his work as Flash and Len helps him to work out where to go next. Warning for a serious injury involving blood.

Read on AO3.

“Hey, Red. I’m telling ya, we have to stop meeting like this,” Len says in a low voice, gruff from barking orders that didn’t matter worth dick since no one listened to him anyway. If they had, maybe Barry wouldn’t be lying on a gurney down in the med center of STAR Labs, slipping in and out of consciousness.

Maybe he wouldn’t have had the ever-loving shit beat out of him … again. Even the fights Barry does win usually end up with him getting bashed in the head or kicked in the stomach.

Just because he has the power to super heal doesn’t erase the fact that Barry Allen gets beat up a lot.

Len is also a bit worse for the wear – a gash on his right cheek that might require stitches, a blackened left eye, an arm he’d thought was broken wrapped tight in an ACE bandage. But that’s nothing compared to what happened to Barry – slammed in the gut by a high-intensity photon blast that was meant for Len and thrown over two hundred feet straight up. Had Barry come back down the way he went, Len might have been able to break his fall, plus his whole body in the process. But Barry had traveled, and Len abandoned the fight, abandoned his team, to go on the search. Halfway out of town, Len found Barry skewered on an iron fence post, the spear-like tip protruding from his chest and covered in blood. When Len saw him - bent impossibly backward with arms and legs limp - his heart stopped.

He thought his boy was dead this time for sure.

Then along came Cisco and Caitlin, and boy, do they have a convenient sense of timing. They had nothing to do with Len finding Barry, but they sure did rush in and scoop him up as if he was theirs and theirs alone. They barely gave Len a thank you, barely looked him in the eyes.

When it comes to him, Len has discovered, even when he’s fighting on their side, they don’t consider him on their side.

Perhaps that’s the way it should stay.

Caitlin did take a second to check out Len’s arm and wrap it up, but that was a consolation prize. A token.

The literal least they could do.

But it was also a message. In their eyes, it made them square. Now Len’s job was over, and it would be best for everyone if he stepped back and left Barry alone.

Right. Like that was going to happen.

Caitlin and Cisco packed Barry up in their ‘Flash-mobile’ and left Len alone out in the middle of nowhere, probably all sorts of assured that he wouldn’t make it back to STAR Labs anytime soon.

And, as usual, they were wrong.

Not only was he fifteen minutes behind them the whole time thanks to his newest acquisition – a beat-up old Indian motorcycle he’d spied quietly rusting in an otherwise vacant driveway on his way out of town – but he’d managed to let himself into STAR Labs super slick and steal away into Barry’s room the second the Wonder Twins ducked out. Sure they’ll be watching Barry like a hawk so of course they’ll find him, but now that he’s in, he’d like to see them try and kick him out.

Len gives Barry a once over, head shaking with disgust and disappointment.

And guilt.

Barry looks okay. Aside from a few scratches, he’s the same as always … on the outside. From what Len could make out while Caitlin and Cisco were talking, the blast scrambled Barry’s brain like an omelet, hence his constant waking up and knocking out. From the times they were able to talk to him, Barry didn’t know his name, didn’t know where he was, who they were, or that he was The Flash. They hooked him up to a dozen or so machines monitoring his brain waves, his temporal lobes and whatnot, but when he finally comes to for longer than a minute, they have no idea what he’ll remember.

Or if the memories he’s lost will ever come back.

They also can’t tell with absolute certainty if Barry is still a meta. The blast doesn’t appear to have eliminated his power to heal, but it slowed it to a crawl. Hence why he’s down here while the net that is the Speed Force sews him back together, albeit at an infuriating rate.

And why it hasn’t worked on his brain? That’s another mystery altogether.

Len moves sections of Barry’s blankets aside to assess the damage for himself. Large hematomas mar Barry’s skin like a battle-scarred landscape. Len’s gaze falls on the blood-stained bandages covering the hole in Barry’s chest and sucks a breath in through his teeth. By rights, any man who sustained an injury like that should be dead. Since that blast was aimed at Len, that means he should be dead right now – dead and gone while a still young and vibrant Barry Allen mourns for all of fifteen minutes the twisted, dysfunctional non-relationship they have, one where Barry constantly reminds Len that there’s good in him as if that means something, and Len spends his nights seething because the good Len wants inside of him is Barry.

“Jesus Christ, you know, you gotta stop taking the blows that I’m supposed to take. When it’s my time, it’s my time. Nothing you can do is going to change that, Red, no matter how good you think I am.”

“Wh-why … do you keep calling me … Red?” a gravelly voice struggles with as Barry turns his head to look Len’s way.

Len shrugs, taking a seat in the chair beside Barry so he won’t have to move anymore. “It’s just a nickname I have for you. That’s all.”

Barry relaxes back into his pillow now that the object of his attention has conveniently moved into view. Eyelids narrowed, he stares at Len, soaking in the particulars of the man in front of him. “Who ... who are you?”

“Who do you think I am?”

“I … I don’t know, but … you seem so familiar.”

“I should. I’m your husband,” Len teases without thinking, sarcasm stepping in when the alternative means revealing too much at an inconvenient time. Why not? It breaks the tension. Barry is more than likely not going to remember this conversation. Besides, Len is dying to see the look on the kid’s face as he tries to comprehend that this tired, filthy, broken old man is his spouse.

And Barry doesn’t disappoint. His head jerks back a hair. His eyes widen. His jaw works around wordless questions.

In short, he looks thoroughly confused by life.

“You … you are?”

“Yup.”

“But … but the doctors that were in here … they didn’t tell me.”

Len pats Barry’s hand. “They don’t like me. I sometimes think they’d like to forget I exist.”

“Oh …” Barry’s eyes dart back and forth, scanning his brain for any nugget of a sliver of a memory of him being married to the man sitting in the chair next to him. Several long seconds tick by. Len watches Barry’s face with an intense curiosity and mild amusement, waiting for his inevitable surrender back into unconsciousness that will herald the end of this charade. Then Len will sit and guard over Barry for as long as he can before his obnoxious wardens return. But Barry doesn’t surrender to sleep. He smiles, an unexpected realization overwhelming him that adds color to his pale cheeks and light to his blank-slate eyes. “Oh … my God! We’re … we’re married?” Barry laughs before Len has a chance to answer. “Wh-what … what lottery did I win to get you?”

A vision of the fight they were in not two hours ago rolls through Len’s brain, how Barry got hit, then flew so hard he blinked out of sight like a cartoon character.

“Let’s just say I swept you off your feet.”

“I thought … I thought it was a dream …” Barry continues. “I didn’t think it could be real.”

Len chuckles, assuming Barry is thinking of that same take-off moment, until he keeps going.

And then Len’s heart stops a second, longer time.

“We met in a theater … didn’t we?”

“I guess you can say that.”

“We had a wedding on the beach … and our honeymoon … camping at the Grand Canyon …” A spark twinkles in Barry’s eyes that Len has never seen. It’s not the lightning that lives inside him, that erupts to mirror his emotions. It’s different – just as supernatural, but more inexplicable. It sends chills down Len’s spine, and that’s something that doesn’t happen too often.

“Ho---honeymoon?” Len’s legs go numb. He turns at the waist, looking for a place to sit until it dawns on him that he’s sitting already.

“Yeah.” Barry’s smile grows and takes a bashful twist. “You and me in a two-person tent on the South Rim, drinking champagne and watching the sun set …”

Voices echo in the hallway. Urgent voices. More than just Cisco and Caitlin. It sounds like Joe might be with them, along with a few other members of the CCPD. Len doesn’t hear what they say, but he has his suspicions that they’re talking about him.

“Shoot!” Len hisses, wishing the oncoming invasion could take a powder for about five minutes so that Barry can finish telling him about that honeymoon. From the shade of red Barry’s cheeks have become, it must have been good. But it would probably be a good idea if he retreats to his favorite air vent for the time being. “Look, kid, I’m going to have to …” He springs out of his seat but Barry grabs his hand with a speed that confirms that yes, he definitely still is a meta.

“Wait, what are you doing? Where are you going?”

“I need to bow out for a minute. But don’t worry. I won’t go too far.”

“Go? What … no! Don’t … don’t leave! Please?”

The voices become louder, accompanied by hurried footsteps, and Len curses under his breath. Before this little adventure began, weren’t they all allies? On a temporary basis, but playing on the same team? “Barry, I’m sorry, but I have to.”

“Why!?”

Len looks into Barry’s pleading eyes and sighs. Yup, leave it to him to take a joke too far, and now here he is - married to The Flash and sixty seconds away from being locked behind bars.

“Remember those doctors I said don’t like me?”

“Yeah?”

“Well, they’re coming back, and from the sounds of it, they’re bringing the police.”

“But, why does that matter?” Barry scans the room, searching frantically for help. “You’re ... you’re my husband!”

“They may not see it that way.”

“I’ll make them see! Just … wait here and we’ll get this straightened out. Please? Please stay?”

Len opens his mouth, but even though he has to, he can’t say no. He shakes his head, taking a step away, and Barry goes into full blown panic mode.

“They said I could have whatever I wanted! Have whoever I want in here with me! Whatever would make me comfortable! If you’re my husband, then I want you! We’ll tell them that I’m … I’m not staying here without you! I’ll … I’ll get up and leave!” Barry plants his hands on the mattress pad beneath him and tries to sit up. “I swear!”

“Shhh, easy now, kid. Don’t get carried away.” Len puts his hands on Barry’s shoulders and in an instance feels him relax, which makes Len want to punch himself in the throat. He did this – him and his frickin’ inability to not make a joke out of everything. Maybe he and Barry don’t always meet on the same side of the law, but he’d never want anything bad for Barry.

Which is why he keeps his distance on the day to day. If Leonard Snart is anything, he’s bad for Barry.

But for some reason, Barry seems to believe wholeheartedly that he’s married to Leonard Snart. And not just believes it, but has memories of it. But where those memories came from, Len doesn’t know. He didn’t say enough to plant any subliminal thoughts in Barry’s mind, nothing as detailed as a wedding on the beach, or a honeymoon. Where did that all come from? Could it be a side-effect of the memory wipe? Cisco specifically said ‘scrambled Barry’s brains like an omelet’. Those were his exact words. Barry’s mind manufacturing a wedding that never happened sounds like the kind of thing a scrambled brain might do.

Or is there a chance that those thoughts were there in Barry’s mind already? Fantasies hidden that the accident unlocked?

Does Barry, on some level, have feelings for Len that venture outside of the hero-villain dynamic they’ve so masterfully cultivated?

As much as Len would like to investigate that possibility, he can’t. They have a situation here that he doesn’t have an easy fix for.

But maybe he doesn’t want one.

Len knows that this can’t go anywhere but downhill, for him and for Barry. But he also knows he can’t back out on Barry now. Not with those eyes staring at him as if he’s the only thing keeping Barry tethered to planet earth.

No one’s ever looked at him that way, with that level of need. Not even his sister.

It’s also not lost on him that this is the longest Barry has managed to stay awake since he arrived at STAR Labs. That in itself is a reason for Len to stay.

What Len doesn’t know is how the hell he’s going to pull this off.

Make a plan. Execute the plan. Expect the plan to go off the rails. Throw away the plan.

Welp. He seems right about on par.

He squeezes Barry’s hand gently. To his own surprise, he leans forward and gives him a kiss on the forehead.

“All right, Red,” he whispers. “I’ll stay. We’ll … figure this out.”

[philosophermari]

The Parallelism between “Bring me to Life” (The Song/Video) and “Saezuru Tori Wa Habatakanai” (The Manga)

Verse 1

How can you see into my eyes like open doors? Leading you down into my core where I’ve become so numb Without a soul my spirit’s sleeping somewhere cold Until you find it there and lead it back home

Listening to Evanescence’s Bring me to Life; the soft piano notes that meld with the bewitching voice of Amy Lee; the listener becomes immersed and captivated. Initially, one would assume that the song is a lamenting piece due to the eerily dulcet first verse- however- when the listener completely listens to the song; the story told is of a character that expresses the tiring and lonely process of perpetually masking themselves, and finally of being woken up by a complete stranger who unmasks them: bare and naked (emotionally). Hence the character in the song shares a parallel disposition to Yashiro, the Yakuza.

The first line from verse one starts with the character asking a question (How can you see into my eyes like open doors?); the simile reflects the character’s fear of being vulnerable, and this characteristic is similar to Yashiro. In fact, Yashiro’s idiosyncrasies (such as, his laissez-faire attitude towards his sexual abuse and sexual perversions) are the perfect deterrents that act as barriers and shields, consequently these help him avoid vulnerability with himself and with the other characters that interact with him. Moreover, most of the characters in the manga fail to see past these peculiar habits hence the figurative symbolism of Yashiro stealing Kageyama’s contact lens case.

The irony of taking away the eyesight from Kageyama leaves him perpetually in the dark (and even more oblivious and unknowing) it does not change his previous perception of Yashiro as someone who is “pitiful, pathetic and all alone”, but maybe by taking the contact lens Yashiro needed Kageyama to look beyond his prejudice and bias of a person who survived child sexual abuse. Yashiro’s character is asking Kageyama to look beyond what his eyes let him see, however what is extremely shocking is Yashiro’s top drawer; the drawer is a metaphorical symbol, it represents how a person has carefully crafted his art of hiding behind the mask of a (assumed) pervert and sex maniac, that something so small and fragile is hidden within (a pair of eyes and his heart). The eyes of his first love that failed to past his external image, and his heart which has been shrouded by neglect, violence and sex, yet one person was able to see past this.

The top drawer accentuates the second line of verse 1 eloquently (Leading you down into my core where I have become so numb) by taking away his eyesight Kageyama’s character fails to see: one, Yashiro as a shy and jealous person who is capable of love (Kuga his boyfriend notices this); two, Yashiro in a compromising sexual activity, which Doumeki does and this leads to Doumeki’s physical and symbolic interference. The character in the song overtly leads her rescuer through the complexity of her being, showing him/her essentially the explanation of her numbness. The biggest difference that these characters have is Yashiro covertness and the Amy Lee’s character overt nature when asking for help and assistance. As mentioned earlier due to Kageyama’s loss of intuition Kageyama does not witness the maladaptive behaviour of Yashiro’s sexual encounters, while Doumeki actually witnesses them and first time he sees this he tries to stop it. This is seen in the first encounter that is shared between Doumeki and Yashiro, and Yashiro is asked about his state of being during the process.

In the three panels a complete stranger (Doumeki) abruptly inserts himself in a sexual activity. The first and second panels have two contrasting colours that the character(s) are shaded in; the heavy grey undertone in panel 1 can be interpreted as: one, the power of Doumeki’s character; he disrupts something that is completely normalized by Yashiro and his subordinates in a second, regardless of his stoic face he shows concern from doing a simple action. It highlights his lack of fear and decisiveness.

Secondly, the grey undertone in panel 1 may reflect Yashiro’s mundane lifestyle, highlighting his loneliness and disappointments in life, such as his failed relationship with his long-time friend Kageyama which never had the chance to fruition. This is shown in a previous page where he ruminates over his long time friend’s new relationship with a young man (Kuga), furthermore panel 2 and 4 emphasize this insecurity the repetitive questioning of (“why it wasn’t him”) further-more even though he faces a window that illuminates (assuming) the sun’s light he is not bathed in it.

He comes to the conclusion that due to him being ‘the shadow’ love is something that eludes him, hence he justifies this by having numerous partners he can sleep with, and being stuck in an environment (the Yakuza world) which he never wanted to be in, initially. The third line defines this so well (Without a soul my spirit is sleeping somewhere cold), Yashiro is subconsciously showing Doumeki the disillusionment that has crept and appears to have solidified in his life as a permanent fixture. Each sexual encounter that Yashiro does have elaborates itself in front of the perceptive Doumeki, hence he is able to quickly decipher the person that Yashiro has always loved since high school and to open him to an extremely new and uncharted place that he has slowly closed himself off too.

The last line of verse 1 (Until you find it there and lead it back home) exemplifies openness, the character surrenders her pride. This line bares the character’s nakedness and defencelessness. It is hard to swallow when one thinks of themselves in such a situation, would one really bare it all to someone who has seen you open and unarmed? Or would it be easier to run away because the disappointments, the lack of security, and violence are the safest things that have been around and the landing place is something that is familiar and comforting. Yashiro is an example of sweet self-sabotage in the chapter 26, it does make sense because his first love disappointed him such that it broke his fragile heart (the contact lens case), and Doumeki is pushing hard, harder than harmer to a wall. He is breaking down the prison that has kept Yashiro’s spirit in a limbo, and his selflessness is beyond words, he is the character that is being led by Yashiro into Yashiro’s being and he like “Kintsugi” is the gold that will bring together a beautiful broken bowl.  

[bforbookslut]

ARC Review: This is Not the End by Chandler Baker

This book was provided to me by the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. This review edition is an ARC and may differ from the printed edition.

I have given this book ☆☆☆. 384 pages. It belongs to the Young Adult Contemporary genre. Disney-Hyperion published it. It will be published August 8th 2017. I would recommend it to readers who want something to think about.

The blurb reads: “On one cloudless, radiant summer afternoon, Lake Devereaux lost everything. The car crash claimed the lives of her best friend and boyfriend, the people who had become her family after her own fell apart. But she doesn’t have to lose them both.

The development of resurrection technology has changed the world. Under the new laws regulating the process, each person gets one resurrection to be used or forfeited on their eighteenth birthday. Mere weeks away from turning eighteen, Lake faces an impossible choice.

Envisioning life without one of the people she loves most is shattering enough, but Lake carries an additional burden: years ago, under family pressure, Lake secretly—and illegally—promised her resurrection to someone who isn’t even dead yet.

The search for answers about her future draws Lake more deeply into the secrets of her past until she begins to question everything about those closest to her. Betrayals and hurts both new and old threaten to eclipse the memories she once cherished.

Then Lake meets a boy unlike anyone she’s encountered before, who unflinchingly embraces the darkest parts of her life . . . and who believes that all resurrections are wrong.

Which path is the right one? And how can Lake start to heal when she can't move on?”

Verdict:

I came to This is Not the End (TiNtE) expecting to have my thoughts about life, death and resurrection challenged and enlightened. Though it does give a lot of insight into what would happen if humans had the ability to bring the dead back to life but you only have one choice and that choice belongs to the living, TiNtE was overshadowed by the unnecessary romance. While Lake deserved a friend who would help her understand the new circumstances she’s presented, we instead get a lover. Who frankly, we could do without. And there’s a treasure hunt from the dead boyfriend which in my opinion, had no meaning other than to reunite Lake and her estranged brother.

And that’s why TiNtE only got three stars from me even though it had the potential to be much, much more. The entire plot was phenomenal in the sense that the plot-drop was great and it’s got great pacing and an engaging read. I breezed through it because I kept wanting to know more. But, the ending was a little rushed as if someone tried to quickly just wrap things up. It was a good ending, nonetheless but a little, less “here’s an awesome revelation about life and death” and more, “not quite happy ending there you go”.

[contains spoilers]

The Bad:

There are quite a number of negatives that come with this book but they’re not bad negatives. They just don’t sit quite right with me and as evident in Goodreads reviews, they don’t sit with many people as well.

1. The one very thing that bothered most people who read this is that the romance between Ringo and Lake was extremely unnecessary. Firstly, her boyfriend just died. Literally, just days ago, her boyfriend died in a very, very traumatic car crash that also took her best friend’s life. She doesn’t need another man to kiss and smooch all over her and show her that her parents and all the other adults in the world are shit. She needs a friend, someone who would listen to her. Anyone could step into Ringo’s shoes. SHE. DIDN’T. NEED. A. NEW. BOYFRIEND.

But oh, [MAJOR SPOILER ALERT], they turn it right around and have her dead boyfriend and dead best friend be lovers behind her back. Fucked up or what?

It didn’t make any sense to justify why Lake had another obstacle in her way of choosing to revive her best friend, boyfriend or brother back. Because pretty much, not bringing back her friends is because they had some secret relationship going on behind her back??? Instead of some other less definitive reason? If I was Lake, I wouldn’t bring either of them back because damn those bitches.

2. Another thing that really bothered me was despite resurrection being a choice in the book, all instances of resurrection were negative. Yeah, sure, bringing someone back from the dead can’t all be that good and sunshine and beautiful but there have to be some good stories as well???? Where are the people who have lost their only source of hope and love to some tragic accident and then got them back? Where are the people who lost their only caretakers and got them back? Where are these stories?

3. One thing that I’m on the fence about is how “evil” the adults are portrayed to be. Only the young people in TiNtE are good and great and honest and wise. I can see through the Lake lens how and why these adults are “wicked” but Will and Penny’s parents only want their children back from the dead, Lake’s parents only want Matt, her brother, to live a fulfilled and able-bodied life. In the real world, these qualities are not evil or wicked or mean, they’re the efforts of parents who love their children. Lake just so happened to be the only one with the ability to bring them back from the dead and hence, they “fight” over her.

The Good (More Like, Discussion):

I wouldn’t say there are any specific goods about TiNtE except for the whole plot itself as well as the conversation surrounding life, death and resurrection.

The plot itself is crafted beautifully. Of course, the whole romance surrounding Will and Penny was so unnecessary. But if you look beyond all this crap, it’s essentially a story of a girl, a decision and her family.

Throughout the entire book, Lake plays My Sister’s Keeper to her brother, Matt, who is a downright dick. An asshole, call him all the nasty names in the world. He is cruel and he is wicked. But when the plot twist drops (and I should have seen this from the start because damn, there were so many hints given like how Lake is always incredibly beautiful), readers then realise that he’s doing it all because he was the big brother who sacrificed his life for his baby sister.

And it adds another dimension to the whole conversation surrounding life and death.

I can’t discuss the finer points without spoilers so if you haven’t read it, here’s your spoiler warning for you. [MAJOR SPOILER WARNING]

TiNtE brings into focus what happens if humans were given the choice to resurrect someone who has died of accident, sickness etc except for suicide or intentional death. But only on their eighteenth birthday (which is a strange limitation because wtf why so specific?) and only one person.

In this book, as I’ve mentioned above, it only points out the negatives of resurrection.

1. Coyote Blue is the uncle of one of Lake’s classmates who is so unimportant except as a plot device that I’m not really bothered to recall his name. Coyote Blue was resurrected and as a result of his resurrection, he decides that there should be more meaning to his life and he ups and joins a hippie group of resurrected people much to the chagrin of his family. He gave up his “before” life because he feels that he’s got something more now that he was resurrected. This presents one dilemma to Lake because what if she brings Penny back and she’s not the same Penny.

And this really asks us, if we bring someone back from the dead, would they be the same people? Could we as humans just up and continue our lives if we are brought back from the dead as if there was nothing wrong? Especially when we consider how religion tells us about death and paradise and how wrong it is to dabble with the dead. Hell, even one of the lessons of Harry Potter is that the dead are meant to be dead. You can’t bring them back and expect them to be the same.

2. Ringo resurrected his mother against her wishes and created a rift between the pair. His mother was part of a movement that insisted resurrection was wrong but Ringo wanted her back so much that he went against her express wishes and brought her back to life. Now, she’s living a life that she didn’t want. Previously, she was a professor, a lecturer, but now, she just sits in front of the telly and watches soap operas. She was given a life she didn’t want.

And that really makes us question, who is this resurrection for? A resurrection is made by the living. After all, once the application for resurrection is made, the dead person is brought back to life whether they want to or not. It does bring to mind ethical concerns about the wishes of the deceased. Do we no longer respect someone’s legal wishes once they’re dead? Do we no longer care about what they wanted? Are humans so selfish that they want to control life and death?

3. Plot drop, Lake was resurrected by Matt who by saving Lake from death suffered an injury and disability but her parents kept her resurrection to her. She’s lived an entire life without knowing she was resurrected. And, she made a deal with her parents to use her resurrection on Matt so that he can return to life perfect and able-bodied instead of being differently abled. Matt refuses to live life as a differently abled person and instead, he waits around for Lake to become eighteen.

And that also brings two ethical questions to mind. Is it right to not tell the resurrected person that they were a product of a scientific miracle? When should they tell them that they were resurrected?

And, is it right to wait around for someone to reach resurrection age and then have them give you a new life? That means people can be paid for resurrections (and in the book, Lake mentions that it does occur. Penny’s parents even tried to bribe Lake to bring Penny back) and it can become a disgusting, lucrative business. If so, then what does life mean for the person holding the resurrection? Are they just a vessel for another chance at life? Do they then become utterly meaningless?

Conclusion:

If you ignore all the awful romances and unnecessary people, at the core of TiNtE, it’s a really great book that brings up a lot of questions about life and death, especially with how far science has come today. I would definitely recommend that you pick it up and see for yourself how these philosophical questions are posed to you but I can’t give it more than three stars because there’s just so much clutter.