#as well as gnc but i need to figure out what that means in this world first hmmmm

[mechawolfie]

say hello to... my new little guy !!

[cardentist]

Fam how can one be trans in the direction of their assigned sex? I'm not even trying to make the idea sound ridiculous or anything. I'm genuinely curious and want to understand. I thought the whole meaning of trans was that you feel or act in the opposite direction of your assigned sex; if you're transfem but you're afab then to me that's just cisgender??? But like please explain to me how that's not the case if that's what you and others strongly feel so I may grow my compassion

Context: [Link]

well ! while I personally am not intersex, I DO want to highlight intersex people first and foremost.

gender and sex are very Very complex, and I think generally people don't consider the way that being intersex can play a big role in that!

there are intersex people who are afab who are also trans women, there are intersex people who are amab who are trans men, there are intersex people with many Many different relationships with sex and gender and anywhere in between !

an afab person can be born with masculine sex characteristics and transition the way trans women often do. that person May identify as trans, they may not ! that trans person may not even consider themselves a woman depending on who they are and what they want !

I Do think there needs to be an effort to be aware of and make space for intersex people within the trans community, and really the wider queer community as a whole. as it's often something that's given a footnote without deeper thought into the ways that intersex people Actually interact with our communities.

which I don't blame people for not already knowing ! that's the whole point of trying to educate people in the first place ^^

.

and as for Myself

labels are, ultimately, a form of gender presentation. what you call yourself is an extension of not only how you see yourself, but how Other People perceive you.

I could call myself nonbinary or I could call myself trans masc, and both would be Accurate. but people have certain traits and expectations and associations when they see those labels. there are assumptions made about the kind of life that I live, the things that I want, the things I might experience, that change depending on which labels that I use.

and that's not Inherently a bad thing ! I mean, that's part of why people Like labels. but it Can be a struggle for people whose gender is Funny.

I could Also describe myself as genderqueer or multi-gender or genderfluid or gnc or-. I've tried on lots and lots of labels, and for the most part I haven't thrown any of them out, I just keep them in a box under my bed and take them out when relevant.

I've been wrestling with the feminine aspect of my identity for a very Very long time. I've been aware that I'm some level of trans masc. that part was easy. I want a deeper voice, I want things about my body to change, I don't want people to look at me and see a cis woman.

but I Also like femininity. I've found that after accepting myself as trans masc and slowly growing an environment where I am Perceived as masculine, I've started getting euphoria at presenting femininely in the Same way that I did (and do!) get about presenting masculinely.

but that feeling doesn't carry over when I'm perceived as a cis woman. it's Quite Uncomfortable for obvious gender reasons.

and while I may not know the exact Words that I'd use to describe it (as I've said, I've been chewing on it for Many years now), I've gotten a clearer idea of how I Feel.

I want to be Visibly trans. I want to be perceived masculinely And femininely. I want to transition masculinely to present femininely (and sometimes butch, sometimes like your dad at the ace hardware store, I contain multitudes).

and of course, figuring out what I have going on has involve a lot of exploration ! it's the same way I figured out the whole trans masc thing in the first place. seeking out other trans people and other Things About trans people feeling things out.

I find ! that I have a lot of shared experiences with transfeminine people. both in how I feel about certain things, some of the presentation that I want, and in how people would React To said presentation.

my femininity Is Trans, I don't relate to cis womanhood. but I Do relate to trans femininity. which is really awkward for me, because it's difficult to describe it to other people fjksldljkasfdjklfasd

(I don't personally consider myself a trans woman mind, but I'm certain there Are people who are trans men and trans women at the same time. gender is complicated, sex is complicated. labels are malleable and sometimes situational)

Could I describe myself with a different label? probably ! I've got lots of them. but when I Don't put emphasis on this aspect of myself people assume that it's not there. insist that it Couldn't be there, and I don't know what I'm talking about. and those people who Would act nasty towards me probably aren't gonna change their mind just because I changed my bio. but it feels Nice to assert that aspect of myself when other people are trying to tear it down.

.

part of me feels like I should post the intersex portion of this by itself, because people tend to engage more with shorter posts and there's nothing Short about my gender situation ljkfdasjkls

but ! I dunno, if this makes even one person understand the gray areas of gender and presentation a little more it'll be worth it.

thank you for taking the time to ask ! and especially for doing so kindly ! I do hope you'll see this

[our-lesboy-experience]

hiii!!! so uh, this is sorta about 'contradicting' (?) identities in general, but i only recently found out about, like, lesboys and gaygirls and all of that, but what is it exactly? like how does it work? or is that weird to ask? i'm trying figuring myself out but a lot of stuff i've seen doesn't exactly... explain it (or explain it well), and while i guess i do get why, it's just kinda hard to understand it myself for my own identity

also, probably a question you get a lot in a hating way, but isn't the definition of lesbian nonman loving nonman? so then how does lesboy work? like is it for people with more complicated gender identites, like fluctuating genders and bigender? just genuinly confused, my apologies...

sorry for not getting to this sooner- been busier lately and didn't have the time to collect everything I needed to respond!

About what it exactly means to be a lesboy or a gaygirl ('turigirl' is the more common term, 'turi' meaning turian, another word for gay attraction to men. so I'll be referring to it as that from now on), there isn't exactly....one right way to call yourself such. it really depends on the person, but I can give you a basic definition and a list of common reasons someone may call themselves such

im gonna put a read more because this ended up being super long so sorry

lesboy is a term for any lesbian who may have a connection to manhood and/or masculinity. turigirl is just the opposite of that, a gay person (mlm/nblm) who may have a connection to womanhood and/or femininity. common reasons I've seen are:

being multigender or genderfluid

being cusper/in between trans and cis gnc (in between trans man and cis gnc woman, in between trans woman and cis gnc man)

being a system who uses lesboy/turigirl as a collective identity or when identities blur together

a person who uses man/boy or woman/girl as a means of masculine or feminine gender expression but not actually identifying as such

being a trans man/ftm or a trans woman/mtf who still identifies as lesbian or gay for personal reasons

those are far from all the reasons, everyone has their own unique experiences, but the gist is these people may have some sort of connection to manhood/womanhood while still having a queer attraction. personally, I'm multigender, genderfluid, and transmasc. lesboy I find is a nice label to express being both my bigender self and being a lesbian, as it forces people to acknowledge both without separating the two. it's cute and makes me feel validated!

as for "nonman attracted to nonmen" definition of lesbian......it has its issues. it's received criticism all around from all sorts of lesbians in the community. this definition is very new - it emerged only in the recent years, and someone on twitter had date searched it and found it didn't even really exist before 2019. and having that as the one and only official definition that every lesbian has to abide by, when lesbian is a centuries old word with so much history behind it, is a bit ignorant. people who are multiple genders or ftm or bi being lesbian is not even remotely new, going back decades upon decades, and it never stopped existing too. It's a bit weird to have a whole new definition that doesn't include all sorts of lesbians that have been here for so long and just tell them they're not welcomed anymore, right?

that's not even close to the only issue there is with it. it's been disliked for centering lack of attraction to men, or defining lesbian in relation to men, rather than who we're actually attracted to. putting nonbinary people in a new binary of either being "men or nonmen," which not all feel comfortable putting themselves into. especially when considering a definition of gay being "nonwomen attracted to nonwomen," man-woman bigender people are simultaneously excluded from being both lesbian or gay. It inherently overlaps with mspec identity ("attraction to nonmen, which is more than one gender" and "any orientation that involves attraction to more than one gender" kinda obviously overlap), despite people insisting that a lesbian can never be mspec. people have found multiple loopholes in it, (which I can elaborate on if someone wants me to, for the sake of trying to make this as short as possible), and lastly, and term "nonman" (and nonwoman) were found to have existed before to describe the degendering of black people in society. this isn't the only source I've seen for this, but sadly I can't exactly find it (or find it without going back to that hellsite called twitter and I'm not doing that to myself)

oh and as the link points out, defining lesbian by these words also ends up excluding a lot of two-spirit people from ever identifying as lesbian, myself included. which is also really racist. I don't know how you're gonna end up excluding a whole cultural gender that's common for indigenous americans to describe themselves with and try to prove it somehow isn't racist, to be honest

and lastly, some surveys/polls have shown that the definition isn't the most widely accepted by lesbians as people make it out to be. there's this simple poll that someone posted asking how lesbians felt about the definition that received 1,529 responses, and 61.1% of voters said they disliked it. comments gave lots of reasons I've stated already. there was another survey put out that received 211 responses that for any lesbian who had a genderqueer or unique relationship with gender, and one of the questions asking opinions on the "nonmen loving nonmen" as a definition. the average among the group was slightly negative (average 2.838), and reported that the group who tended to feel the most positively about it didn't consider themselves to be trans, with the other positive leaning group considered themselves to be somewhat cis. the group that felt the most negatively sometimes considered themselves to be trans. and of the multigender participants, the average opinion was 2.255 (more negative than the overall average). When concluding, the original poster stated, "When divided by gender, the only groups to feel positive about this definition were "not trans" and "somewhat cis" participants. Multigender participants felt especially negative about this definition"

all of this shows that this definition isn't nearly the best for everyone who considers themselves a lesbian. I know it's been a way to include nonbinary people who are lesbian in it's definition, but I think it really misunderstands why nonbinary people are included in lesbianism in the first place, and just assumes that all nonbinary people aren't men and fails to recognize that multigender/genderfluid people are nonbinary too. and it's not like lesbian has to only have on definition- it can definitely have multiple and depend on each person's experience with it. if someone personally defines them being lesbian around being a nonman attracted to nonmen, and takes pride in not being attracted to men, that's totally fine. what becomes a problem is forcing all lesbians to define themselves like this and make it the standard, or else they're "not real lesbians." it is ahistorical and ignorant to require this or else you'll strip them of their lesbian status, and is really at the end of the day, lesbophobic. especially as a requirement that primarily exists in online spaces. im sure the lesbian who is not at all connected to these circles doesn't particularly care about strict requirements or whether someone is a "nonman" or not. in conclusion, it is not the best nor most accepted definition of lesbian, and deciding which lesbians are valid or not based solely on that definition is pretty exclusionary and ends up policing a lot of lesbians, myself included

[velvetvexations]

I'm not a trans woman, just a trans person who has been very active in trans and queer spaces, so it actually makes me really sad to see so many transradfems absolutely vilify femboys and gnc men because from what I've seen a LOT of trans women start out as gnc "men" or femboys or drag queens even just expiriementing in a safe place that welcomes that before realizing they're actually women and heading out(or even still being there hanging with the people who welcomed them when they were unsure and needed a community that wouldn't treat them like a freak for saying "I don't want to be masculine anymore").

Like so many trans men and mascs start out ID-ing as butch lesbians or just butches/tomboys in general and they don't turn around and vilify non-transmasc butches and tomboys as like...transandrophobes or women play acting as men, and most of them keep their ties to that community because again, that's where they were welcomed and sheltered while they figured stuff out.

And I know SO many asexuals who thought they were bi before realizing they were ace and while that isn't exactly the same they don't like, turn around and attack bi people for welcoming them as a member of the club when they needed support.

I mean it is just my perspective and I'm just one person and again I'm not a trans woman but nearly every trans woman I know who didn't like come out as a 6 year old started out just dressing up as a girl for fun first and hanging out in gnc, femboy, and drag spaces. And isn't this also why we have egg jokes about femboys and gnc men(as much as I don't like them)?? Because it's common to start off there before cracking and realizing "oh I'm a girl actually"? Why are transradfems being like "yeah I started here but everyone ELSE there is a transphobic freak" like???

It just...idk it's really sad to see transradfems attack gnc men and femboys and drag queens even because like, you obviously don't owe them anything or have to view them as your saviors or whatever but there's undeniable community overlap and seeing that ignored in favor of pretending anyone wearing woman's clothes while IDing as a man is clearly a massive transmisognist freak who deserves to be attacked when that's what a lot of trans women started out as is like...what?

Makes me really sad. We're supposed to be in this together, right? We're all deviants in one way or another, I even count otherwise cishet but still gnc men as my queer allies, like it or not imo back when Finnster ID-ed as a cishet man I still thought they were one of us(I mean getting banned from twitch for adjusting your bra strap seems like some textbook misogyny and even transmisogny but what do I know), we're all under attack for just trying to live the lives we want to live. What good does it do to divide us up like this. How are those of us who don't know right away going to find our footing if we don't have safe spaces to expiriement with people who will love and support us and cheer when we figure out who we truly are? How are those of us who are deviant but not trans supposed to thrive without support and acceptance?

Isn't that what this is all supposed to be about?

It's depressing. Thank you for your thoughts, anon. <3 I appreciate that others see this same thing and also despair. It makes me feel like I'm not cracking up to know that this is alarming to you as well.

[cer-rata]

Fic WIP(maybe): "World's Okayest"

"So," Conrad started, eyes bright and excited, "I think the three of us are like, a thing."

Jon slowly turned away from the diner’s window to look at him, mostly in horror and confusion. Mostly. "...W-what? You...you're not suggesting...what?"

"Like, you know, Batman and Superman and Wonder Woman. The big three."

Jon let out a sigh of relief. "Oh. oh okay, I thought you were trying to say--"

Damian snorted. "Yeah, considering what Conrad writes in his spare time, maybe you shouldn't relax so quickly."

"DAMIAN!"

Jon blinked. "...Conrad--"

"Don't listen to him! He's evil and he lies and--"

"He's quite prolific." Damian laughed as Conrad missed him with a thrown French fry.

Jon shook his head. "I don't even want to know. Um. Conrad, where were you going with--"

"Oh! Right! Before SATAN took the wheel--I dunno, I just think we work together pretty well, maybe we should do it more consistently.”

“I’d like that.” Jon really did enjoy spending time with them, even when they were getting shot at.

Damian shrugged. “I mean, I don’t think we need to imitate those old bags and Diana, but sure.”

“But I don’t think it’s imitating, it’s pretty natural. Jon is ‘Angry Superman--’”

“Hey!”

“You’re ‘GNC Wonder Woman--’”

“Wh-wait--”

“And I’m ‘The Batman Who Fucks.’”

Damian stared at him. “...Are you insane?”

“Yes, that is exactly why I’m Batman.”

Jon snorted and covered his mouth.

“Conrad, there is no way--” Damian leaned in angrily, “How the hell am I not Batman?”

“Batman is scary. I’m scary. You’re not scary.”

“I beg your pardon?!”

“If both of us are dangling someone off of a roof, which one of us might actually drop them?”

Jon looked mildly alarmed. “...Neither of you? Right?”

Damian groaned. “...Okay, but that’s not a good--Batman doesn’t kill people!”

“I never said I’d allow them the release of death. But see, right now: You’re even-tempered, relatively normal, patient even though I am going out of my way to irritate you--that’s Diana, bro.”

“Are you saying I’m Diana because you think I’m boring?!”

“No, Diana’s not boring, you being boring has nothing to do with it.”

Damian sighed and leaned back in his seat. “Oh, Conrad. Conrad, Conrad, Conrad…”

Jon looked back and forth between them a couple of times. “Wait, are you guys actually arguing or--”

Conrad turned to make eye contact with him and smiled. “The trick is to get him ready to kill you. He won’t, so he has to resort to something else and--hey, no, D, your side of the booth is over there, across from me where I’m safe--”

Ah no, it was flirting then. Again.

Damian slid into the booth next to him, and Conrad scooted over into Jon, who didn’t budge at all and just watched with amusement and maybe something a little more…sour.

Conrad laughed and curled up against him. “Damian, I’m sorry!” 

Damian slid closer, appearing perfectly relaxed and normal when compared to Conrad’s giggly hysterics. “What’s wrong, beloved? I’m not doing anything.”

“Oh no! You only call me that when you’re worried or I’m in trouble!”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Conrad squeaked and pressed his cheek into Jon’s shoulder. “Sammy, help!”

Conrad was the only person Jon would let call him by his middle name. He even liked it, actually. He tried not to ponder that, but failed, and his smile started to wilt. His guts felt tight. “Eh, I think…I think you’re fine…”

Conrad sat straight up so quickly that he and Damian knocked foreheads. “Fuck, my bad--”

“Ow! Why!?”

“Sorry, I just…” He turned to look at Jon. “What…what happened?”

Jon stared at him. “...What?”

“You just uh…you got a little…uh…” Conrad suddenly looked trapped and Jon couldn’t figure out what on Earth that was about.

Damian leaned over to look at him too and raised an eyebrow. “That’s...just a Midwestern thing, Conrad, they always look a little lost.”

“I’m not from the--” Jon made eye contact with Conrad again, and caught the violet flash of his irises. Then Conrad nodded gently and turned back to Damian.

“Ah, I guess you’re right. You can go back to mauling me if you want.”

Damian shook his head. “No, you killed my momentum, I’ve added it to my bank of cruelty and spite to be spent later at my leisure.” 

The lunch went on from there, their rambunctiousness settling some. Still, that look Conrad gave him, combined with the glow of his eyes unsettled Jon a bit. Did he get a vibe from him? What would he even have felt that would alert Conrad? Sure, he was a little queasy for a moment but…

“...Okay but the problem is, I wasn’t planning to make my next moniker a front-facing one.” Damian explained. “The ‘Trinity' thing is mostly for the public to have something to cling to, and well, frankly to make my father seem less…like a terrorist.”

“But I’ve seen the costume you’re thinking of, babe, if you’re trying to be hidden, why the red and white and the big yellow ‘I’ on your chest? And it glows?”

“Symbols are important--” 

“But it all suggests that you want people to be aware of you.”

Damian sighed. “It’s a complicated…thing.” He paused. “I don’t want to scare civilians, but I also don’t really want to be paraded around as some symbol of morality. I don’t think I can be that.”

Conrad shrugged. “I mean I’m on lunch boxes now, and I’m…maybe a little less…restrained than you are.”

“Which you’re working on.”

“It’d be easier if you’d start restraining me inst--”

“Jon is sitting right there!’

“Fuck, right, sorry buddy.”

Jon waved them off and took a long drink of his soda and desperately wished it was socially acceptable to anxiety crunch on glass in public. 

Conrad’s gaze lingered on him again before he continued. “...I’m working on it, yeah. But like…my point is that no one has a problem with me, why should you need to be sneaky?”

“Because…because I’m good at it, I was trained to be precise and quiet and--”

“You really should lean more in Dick’s direction.” Jon said. “He’s still intimidating and civilians love him.”

Damian looked away and Jon heard him swallow. “I…I’m not inspiring like that.”

Conrad growled and angrily called Damian a word only he could say, which caused Jon to gasp and Damian to flinch. “--please, if I weren’t so inspired by you, I’d have probably turned into hotter, more effective, cooler, funnier, more stylish, significantly scarier Red Hood.”

“Well…well…we can’t rely on the general public being bewitched by me.”

“Cause you’re too much of a little bitch for a crop top--ah! No! Stahahahahp! Damian!”

Jon closed his eyes and sighed while the ‘Lovebirds’ went at it again. He found himself wishing that Jack or even Lor was there, and then with horror realized that not going for Darla instead probably implied something. He could only be so avoidant, he wasn’t Damian. Ugh. It wasn’t even that he couldn’t see her that way, on occasion he did--but it wasn’t the same energy, which was probably good, because having some form of distracting emotional entanglement with everyone he worked with sounded like a horrible time. Still, watching Conrad giggle while Damian’s hands roamed around with a playfulness that Jon had apparently never earned from his best friend made him feel some sort of way. He acknowledged that was maybe…a little gay. 

Maybe he was a little gay. 

Jon groaned loudly enough that the couple stopped what they were doing and looked over at him.

“...Jonathan, is something actually wrong?”

“No!”

Conrad managed to steady his breathing. “C’mon dude, we’re your friends, I can’t have two emotionally constipated--”

“I think I like boys!”

Damian looked completely blindsided, and maybe a little afraid. Conrad looked kind of…guilty?

“Oh. Um.” Damian’s eyes flicked around rapidly like he was desperately searching his brain for something. “Uh…exclusively?”

Jon dropped his face into his hands, muffling his words into his palms. “I dunno! I don’t think so! I think Darla is really pretty, and Devyn, and Kathy--”

“Still?” Conrad didn’t manage to keep the disappointment out of his voice.

“Shut up!

Damian raised an eyebrow. “Who is Devyn?”

“Oh, she’s just a girl at my school. So like, I think girls are pretty, and I think if any of them asked me out, I’d probably say yes, but also--”

“You’re somewhat attracted to all of your friends, and the the intensity varies.” Conrad finished quietly, sounding ashamed like he was revealing that he’d eaten the last cookie after all.

Jon bit his cheek and looked away. “...Something like that.” 

Damian sat with that for a moment. “...So you’re actually ‘Disastrous Bi-Panic Superman.’”

That was dumb enough to snap Jon out of the beginnings of a spiral, and he laughed. “I hate you.”

Damian smiled. “So Kathy is the last one of us to only do things as God intended.” 

Jon pursed his lips. “Uhhh…no, I think she’s ace, actually.”

Conrad shook his head. “No, no, Kathy just doesn’t like humans.”

Jon blinked. “Wait, really?”

Conrad nodded. “Yeah, she said she’s ‘not a monster fucker.’”

Damian nodded sagely. “Wise.”

Jon squinted. “I don’t…Kathy looks just like us--well okay she’s really green, but otherwise--”

“I don’t think you mom’s a monsterfucker, if that’s what you’re getting at.” Conrad offered. Jon was impressed that it sounded like he genuinely thought that sentence would be comforting. 

“Okay! Okay violently moving on--”

“Oh. OH!” Damian sat up a little straighter. “That’s why you always wear skinny jeans, despite them being a number of years out of fashion! It’s an expression of your flammable nature.”

Jon blushed. “Wh--flammable--”

“Babe, skinny jeans are coming back.”

“You lie.”

“It’s kind of a ten year cycle for popular items.”

“But skinny jeans? Really?”

“You’d look great in skinny jeans.”

“I look great in everything. I could wear Vandal Savage like a coat and make it...what, make it fashion? That doesn’t mean he’s valid.”

They both startled at the loud crunch Jon made when he bit directly into his glass.

[slamminslamminmcgill]

OKAY I’M A GNC VIRGIN SO NATURALLY… I can confess my little (not so little) corruption kink to you 😁 I always think about how Saul would absolutely 10000000000% hire someone especially after finding out they’re still pure through his Saul-style background checks. He’d fetishize the fuck out of them for it and absolutely do the honors while talking really extremely about it, I just feel it in my bones. After all he wants new blood :3 Just imagining the things he’d say… I AM A WHORE!!!!

OOOOO OK PURR!!!!!

combining w/ this

warning: very mild transphobia (saul is a gross chaser and he's learning)

anatomical terms: boobs, vagina/pussy, dick/cock

Saul Goodman always asked his private investigator to get information on people he worked with. Be they long term clients or his own staff, he wanted to know who he was associating with, inside and out. He wasn't going to get caught with his pants down by dealing with someone he couldn't trust. And after you joined his team as his paralegal, you were subject to the same treatment. He honestly wasn't expecting Mike to find much dirt on you, and he didn't. Almost nothing, in fact, but what he did find was far more intriguing than Saul could have ever imagined. He almost didn't believe what Mike told him.

"Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Okay. Let me see if I'm understanding you correctly. Kid's never been in a relationship before. Total virgin. I get that. But you're saying he was born a chick, and wanted to be a dude, so he took some hormones and got his boobs chopped off? Are you for real? You can do that?" Saul had asked.

"That's what his medical records say." Mike had answered. "He's been filling a testosterone prescription for 2 years now, and his 'chest masculinization surgery' was last year. Got a copy of the newspaper publication for his name change, too."

"Did he, uh..." Saul bit his lip and tried to think of a non-creepy way to ask his probably-very-creepy question, "Did he get the downstairs touched up, or is he still rocking the original hardware?"

Mike rolled his eyes. "Doesn't look like he had any other surgeries. Guessing that means he hasn't changed it. Now, you know I'm not one to question your motives, but why is it that you care so much about your paralegal's genitalia?"

"Hey, I'm just trying to get the full story here," Saul had said as a quick excuse, "The world's changing! If men can have vaginas, I say let 'em! I'm always an advocate for self-determination."

"Whatever helps you sleep at night." Mike had packed up his things and headed for the door. "Just promise me you won't antagonize him over this. He's a good kid. I'd hate for you to scare him off."

"I promise."

That's what he had said, but Saul could barely hide the excitement on his face when you walked in on Monday morning.

"Well, well, well! Look who it is!" Saul laughed and held his arms out for a hug. "Bring it in champ!"

You shrugged and took him up on it, not knowing that he was looking for an excuse to feel your body pressed against his. "Alright, sure!" You said before subjecting yourself to his tight embrace. "What's got you in such a good mood today?"

Saul's hands started to wander down your back and around your sides to your hips. He hadn't noticed how curvy you were before, but now it was all he could think about. "Well, I, uh... I figured you're not all that used to physical intimacy. Thought I'd show you some of what you're missing."

It took a second for his words to register in your brain. “Wait, what?" You pulled yourself out of his arms. "What are you talking about?"

Saul couldn't hide the satisfaction he was feeling. He wore it plainly on his face, and his voice dripped with it. "Your background check came back clean. Very clean. Pure, I should say."

You could tell he was fucking with you, but you had no clue why or what you were supposed to say to that. "Uh... Okay? Is that a good thing, or-?"

Saul needed a new skincare routine, one that stopped smugness from oozing out his pores. "Depends! You saving yourself for marriage? Cause then I guess you're on the right track."

You gulped. So that’s what he was talking about. “N-No, I’m not. I just… haven’t found the right person.”

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.” Saul pursed his lips and went back over to his desk. “Well, I imagine it’s difficult with your setup and all. Probably hard to find someone so understanding.”

“My… setup?” You asked, wondering just how meticulous his background check process was. Must've been pretty damn meticulous if he found out the details of your lifeless sex life. “What, uh… what’s that supposed to mean?”

“Oh, you know what I mean.” Saul kicked his feet up on his desk, grabbed a pen, and pointed it at you. “Man from the waist-up, woman from the waist-down? I bet that freaks people out, huh?” He chuckled as he set the pen down and took a sip of his coffee. “Not me, though. I’m pretty open-minded. Gotta say, it actually sounds pretty hot.”

"Oh... uh... tha-... thank you...?" Workplace harassment had never seemed so flattering. You wanted to be disgusted. You wanted to throw that coffee in his face, call him a pig, and storm out of his office demanding your last paycheck in the mail. But you didn’t. It was the first time anyone had considered you a sexual being, let alone an attractive sexual being. Rationale and dignity be damned, you wanted more of his attention, but you didn’t want to seem desperate. “So, uh… where do we go from here?”

“We don’t have to go anywhere. Why, did you want it to go somewhere? ‘Cause if you do..." Saul got up from his desk again and strode over to you, brushing some of your hair behind your ear. "...I'd be happy to lead the way." He pressed a tender kiss to your lips, and you, not expecting it whatsoever, tensed up immediately. Saul noticed and pulled back. "Oh, baby boy, have you never even been kissed?"

You shook your head, embarrassed by your own innocence. "N-No..."

Saul didn't even try to hide his excitement. He couldn't believe his luck. He reacted with condescending sympathy. "Ohhh, you poor thing! Whatever am I gonna do with you?"

The answer to that, you'd come to find, was apparently 'strip you half-naked and sit you on his desk.'

"Now, you just lay back and enjoy yourself, okay, baby? I'm gonna help you get ready. I promise, you're gonna love this." He said as he rubbed your bare thighs, gradually lowering his face between them.

"Okay..." You sighed, staring up at the ceiling, not a clue what to expect. There's only so many options when someone puts their face up to your junk, but you had no idea what it was gonna feel like.

Saul spread your lips apart to inspect your virgin anatomy, the first one to explore new, uncharted territory. He'd been through this countless times before, though never with anyone like you, and he liked what made you special. "Aw, how cute! You got yourself a tiny little dick, huh? Is that from the hormones?" Saul chuckled and pressed down on it with his thumb.

Your breath caught in your throat and your body jumped upon contact. "Ah... y-yeah, uh... the testoster-oh! F-Fuck!"

While you were talking, Saul used your distraction as a chance to shove his face into your pussy, swirling his tongue under your foreskin and sucking your mini-cock into his mouth. He even slipped his tongue into your hole and pumped it in and out, probably to give you a preview of what was next. You grabbed his hair and whined, holding on to keep yourself somewhat in the moment with him. You briefly glanced down at him; your eyes met; and he fucking winked.

You threw your head back against the desk and looked up at the ceiling again. Your head was swirling in a way it never had before. It just felt so good. So sloppy, so wet, so electrifying.

By the time Saul pulled his face up, his mouth was literally dripping, and he was gasping for air. He looked unhinged. "Jesus Christ... Are you sure you're a virgin? You're soaking wet."

"I... wha...?" You blushed and hid your face in your hands. "Oh, god... s-sorry..."

"Aw, honey, no, don't apologize for that!" Saul got up off his knees and stood up. He pried your hands away from your face and interlocked his fingers with yours. "It just means you're excited! You must want it really bad, huh?"

You did, but the uncertainty of it all was still so scary. "Mhm... it's, uh... it's not gonna hurt, right?"

"Nope! It shouldn't 'cause I ate you out first. That's what I meant by getting you ready. And you were quite the tasty treat, buddy." He booped your nose to get you to smile, and it worked. You felt calmer instantly. "You good to go?"

You took a deep breath, the air whistling on your exhale. "Y-Yeah, I think so."

Saul worked on pulling himself out of his pants. He lined up his fat cock with your virgin hole and poked it, testing your reaction. You seemed okay, so he slowly, ever so slowly, slid inside and stretched you out. The both of you let out low, deep groans, savoring the new, deep connection you shared with each other.

"Phew..." Saul sighed as he bottomed out in you. "God, that's good, kid. You're the tightest little thing I've ever had my cock inside." He pulled back, nearly all the way out, and then snapped his hips forward. You squeaked, and he did it again. "So... fucking... good..."

So fucking good was an understatement. You wrapped your arms around his back and clung to him, moaning softly and timidly as your sleazy boss took your virginity. You'd always imagined your first time would be romantic and sweet, and on a bed, not hasty, nasty fucking on the desk where your paychecks were signed. Oh well, either way, it felt fucking fantastic.

As was the case with everything else in his life, Saul had lots to say. "Yeahhh, that's it, baby boy, that's it. Take it. I ne- I never... Mmm, never would've thought you had a pussy like this. So wet for me... so warm... so fucking tight... And I get to be the one to break it in... Making me believe in God again, kid... Cause you... you're a fucking angel..."

Hearing his affectionate praise, feeling his firm strokes inside you. The way he talked to you, touched you, kissed you, tasted you. This may have been your first time with anyone, but you could tell it wouldn't be your last with him.

[dee-in-the-box]

happy pride month, y'all! have some pride headcanons!!

none of these people are straight and/or cis to me. they've all got some weird queerness going on with them

Jack: transmasc (he/him mostly, but probably wouldn't mind they/them that much), bisexual. could see him being acespec, but sex favorable or indifferent. polyamorous.

Dave: nonbinary in a "i don't understand gender and idgaf about it" way (he/him, but honestly doesn't care. probably would find out about it/its pronouns and love those), pansexual. teach this guy about xenogenders i think he'd love those too. polyamorous (i can see it).

Peter: transfem bigender (he/she), and honestly doesn't know what her sexuality would be considering his weird gender situation (look, he grew up in the 50s-60s. the most exposure to the queer community she had was through Jack, and that wasn't. A Lot). me personally? i'd say lesbian. because Fuck It, Why Not?

Dee: technically cis because she never got to grow up and figure that stuff out (she/her), but i could see her growing up and being on the spectrum of GNC or Genderqueer (the genderqueer part is Definitely not me projecting (< lie)). also aroace (repulsed on both ends)

Henry: cis man (he/him; the first entirely cis person here), bisexual. listen. i heard that thing that was like. DD originally said he was bi but then changed it to straight after getting hate for it for some reason, and i decided to make it a situation where Henry just like. Acknowledged it was a thing for him but didn't really give any fucks because he busy Committing Crimes Against Humanity. everyone thinks he's straight though, 'cause he never mentions it (again, busy with Other Things. such as Causing Problems).

Steven: cis man (he/him), gay. This Is The Shortest Fucking One. also, Steven is the shortest adult of the cast; he's 5'5".

Harry: masc nonbinary dude (he/they), bisexual, polyamorous.

Jake: cis man (he/him), graysexual panromantic, polyamorous.

Roger: probably got some genderfuckery there, but i'll just say A Dude (gender neutral) for now (he/him), gay (as in Likes Men Or Masc-Leaning People), polyamorous. didn't realize the Gay & Poly Part until Dsaf 3. You'll Never Guess How He Found Out!

Rebecca: transfem (she/they/xe), and just queer in general. not exactly poly, but she doesn't mind Harry's...other partners (Jake and Roger). it's sort of a "This is my boyfriend, and this is my boyfriend's boyfriends! ^-^" situation.

and for a few others:

Caroline: cis woman (she/her), cupioromantic (aromantic micro-label; basically means that you don't feel romantic attraction, but still desire a romantic relationship) heterosexual. she still loves Peter, her love just isn't necessarily "romantic." i'd describe it more like queerplatonic. she got married to Peter because she does genuinely care for him and love him, but also because...well, it was what was expected of her. besides, she doesn't mind being married, it's actually pretty nice. Caroline's as close as y'all are going to get to a cishet Dsaf character from these headcanons.

Matt: transmasc agender (he/him), aroace (romance indifferent/favorable (see: "I'm Matt! Everybody loves me!"), sex indifferent/repulsed (do i even need to explain it? i think we know why this was what i picked for him).

now, fun facts!!

Jack actually doesn't experience a lot of dysphoria, just upset that he doesn't have a dick. he doesn't even mind the boobs too much (except that they make people think he's a woman; that part sucks), he'd probably just like a binder. wouldn't mind top surgery, but y'know. Binders Are Easier To Get And Cheaper Than That.

Dee is romance repulsed in terms of herself for the most part (as in the idea of being romantic herself grosses her out). except for Davesport. she told Jack and Dave to "get a room" multiple times in the Flipside.

Blackjack technically has the same labels as Jack, but y'know. Ghost Dog.

Henry doesn't understand why so many queer people work at Fazbender's (Jack, Steven, Peter, etc) because he just. keeps killing them. not due to the queerness but because They Keep Getting In His Way. what is it about the Chuck E Cheese rip-offs that attracts the gays?? Is It The Bears?? Is It The Fucking BEARS??? (i had to make the joke. i had to)

Modern Day Queer Discourse would piss Jack off. he was alive in the 60s and 70s when that shit was getting more mainstream. he's effectively a queer elder, technically (even if he kinda sorta Looks perpetually twenty-two because he kinda can't age anymore). he's seen some shit. i can see him saying on someone's "He/Him Lesbians Aren't A Thing >:(" post "my bigender brother is a lesbian, though. he's got a wife" and then logging off. you can't tell me he wouldn't

I Stand By My Statement: None Of The Kennedy Siblings Have A Normal Relationship With Gender. They Just Don't.

Jack just uses a lot of slurs for himself. he's got. So Fucking Many that he can reclaim (because y'know. Gay/Bi and Trans. and he was alive during the 60s and 70s. so you can only imagine the shit he's heard or had thrown at him).

the first time in his life that Dave ever had to worry about gender stuff was when Henry was having to like. fill out paperwork and things like that to get him an ID of some kind. when they got to gender, Dave didn't really know why that was important, nor what would really fit. they just put "male" on there because technically that would "fit him best" (since he, y'know. has a dick), but Dave didn't feel like either option fit.

i feel like Jack went to a pride event/parade sometime before Dsaf 3. like, maybe he finally felt comfortable actually going there and being out safely for the first time in his life. it was nice.

Caroline helped Peter with her makeup after she came out, and with growing his hair out.

after coming home post-Dsaf 2, Peter actually tried some dresses out. they also found out a way to still put eyeliner on him. and that was using a Sharpie to draw under her phone dial to look like eyeliner. hey, it works.

Peter never got comfortable enough to wear lipstick before he died, though :( so she never got to experience that

Jack: "If I had a nickel for every time I was someone's gay awakening, I'd have three nickels. Which isn't a lot, but how does this keep happening-" (the three people in question are Dave, Jake, and Roger)

i have so many more istg, but this post is getting long. might talk about some more if anyone's interested, though!

[tirfpikachu]

Tumblr may have filtered my last ask bc it had a link, or maybe you weren’t interested in responding. If it was a fluke, I’d love to hear your thoughts on a post by butchmartyr/760478305191346176/noooo-trans-person-dont-mistake-your?source=share

My first thought was “there shouldn’t be gender affirming clothes” just clothes you like wearing or clothes that feel expressive. I stewed on it for a while because I definitely support people doing what works for them, but seeing this “no it’s not ur radical self acceptance, it’s trans apathy and don’t die wondering, u could be happier” was kinda wild. Anyway take care out there!!

NAUUURRRRR I WAS TOO LATE THE POST GOT DELETED???

but honestly from what you've said... i feel like trans ppl, especially those who go for more stereotypical opposite sex gender conforming clothes/hairstyles/etc can 1000% do gender affirming things that are sexist, or at least describe what they're doing in a sexist way. they often don't bother to look at their own behaviors thru a feminist lense. in their defense, they are often dealing with debilitating dysphoria and can't really think much beyond "i want the discomfort to stop" and humans often draw conclusions about strangers based on very stereotypical characteristics like long vs short hair, makeup, skirts/dresses vs shorts/pants, high pitched vs low pitched voice etc so for them, conforming to the opposite sex's stereotype means having an easier time being recognized as the opposite sex/agab. it means the awful feeling inside them stops and they get relief from the distress that dysphoria gives them. so they aren't thinking clearly, and i say this as someone who was dysphoric for like, 13 years.

honestly in some way i don't blame them - often they do this only until transition, and then i've found they (at least transmascs) are more likely to want to be visibly gnc post-transition. so they aren't just giving into the patriarchy's demands and reinforcing stereotypes permanently; it's a form of treatment, in a way. but the thing is that it's also addictive... they get validation from one stranger, whether it's just out of trans allyship or not, and then it makes the following times they're misgendered that much more painful. which makes them seek transition that much more desperately, understandably so.

the problem with this is that many of them don't just affect themselves with this. they affect "cis" gnc people too with how they talk about themselves and how they talk about gender-validating crossdressing ("crossdressing" can be a cringy word, but ykwim). they aren't just talking between themselves, as much as they tend to think they are. they're posting about this shit in public social media spaces with mildly dysphoric ppl and gnc people who can very well develop dysphoria thru reading their "how to Look Like A Man/Woman" type posts. if to "look like a man" or "look like a woman" you need to be gender conforming, what would that make "cis" gnc people reading it feel about themselves? in a world where we're always told that we're not man enough, we're not real women, we don't act or dress or think like a woman should? of course i developed dysphoria. ofc i did. many other detrans & post-trans gyns and detrans men developed it as a result of this kind of rhetoric. i understand that these ppl need tips from each other to figure out how to manage their dysphorias. i get that. but this shit isn't well moderated at all. they don't actually tell people hey, it's okay if you're just gnc. they don't put a dysphoria-inducing trigger warning or something. they don't realize that this is a... okay, this will be a weak metaphor, but kinda how some mental illness communities will give each other tips that really makes shit worse for ppl reading it who might not even have had any signs of mental illness symptoms before reading it. <<< another thing that happened to me btw, those tumblr spaces really made me mentally sick. i was always prone to it, same as how i was prone to dysphoria, bc of my upbringing & genes. but reading about very mentally sick people's deep inner thoughts really fucked with my head!! and reading about very dysphoric people's deep inner thoughts REALLY fucked with my sense of self. reading about them calling their boobs in masc outfits gross and disgusting and feeling slimy or whatever on their chest made me start feeling dysphoric about them; i had always felt insecure abt my body, and hated that it was so sexualized by boys, but suddenly i developed a whole new complex about it. i know gnc male/amab ppl can have similar feelings when transfems talk abt their bodies and how gross they looked in feminine outfits, how they wish they looked like cis women, how they can't wait to have that happened bc their current visibly gnc bodies are disgusting. cis/bio gnc men reading or listening to that shit can really gain so much shame abt their natural inclination towards femininity and traditionally unmasculine things.

trans people, dysphoric people really need to watch how they talk about their gnc bodies pre-transition and how much they casually gender clothes, hairstyles etc (even just in jokes). they also need to make sure their audience doesn't have ppl who are mildly, potentially treatable dysphorics who can fall deeper into dysphoria by reading what mainstream tras say about their gender nonconforming bodies and womanhood/manhood. they have no idea how many vulnerable, insecure people susceptible to new insecurities are reading what they're writing or hearing what they're saying. also, them trying to steal the "don't die wondering" sapphic slogan by making it about transness, making it about transition, is truly fucked up. if they listened to detrans/desisted/post-trans people AT ALL they would know what to do and not to do to prevent future detransitions. and detransitioners makes them look bad, as they always love to remind us, so why the fuck would they be so careless as to create more of us by not moderating their spaces? it harms trans people too, doesn't it?

we need more tra accountability. we need them to call this shit out.

[flyin-shark]

"Cishet probably". The words of a man who is yet to learn that gender is a circus and clowns can be hot.

Or what I mean is more like.... That's really interesting in a sense, as soneone who is ambiguous/not caring on all levels, I really wanna study the anatomy of the cishet experience. I can't figure it out. Is it like. If you see a person your ability to be attracted to them depends on your current knowledge of their gender? So you could see a person and assume they are a woman, so then you are into them, but then they might turn out not to identify as a woman, and that is a turn-off?

And the other way around, maybe you meet someone and assume they're a guy so it doesn't enter your mind that they could be hot, but then you learn that they are a woman, and then it becomes an option?

I'm really not trying to be offensive so I'm so sorry if I am. I'm just super curious, as a person who was never able to conceptualize gender in myself or others very well. I find attraction complicated as is, and imagining adding the matrix of gender into it is like... Galaxy brain woah h o w ?

Uh. Anyways, good vibes.

(Came to think of it cuz you say you're a top/into bottoms. And like certainly the top/bottom dichotomy transcends gender, but at the same time, I wonder what the "communication" is in there in a cishet context? Does it mean "I don't like getting penetrated by a partner", or is it more about "top energy". And if yes, what is "top energy" in a cishet context?

I really hope I'm not coming across as rude, I'm literally just super curious about people who ID as cishet, so when I run into someone who seems approachable I turn into 12 questions with ....

Also this also is related to the fact that I'm like a dude but in a girl way you feel? Like most people attracted to me are also attached to gnc women, but also if you need to call me 'her' to get off, we probably won't vibe, and as a general rule I do avoid having sex with cishet guys bc if their attraction is somehow contingent on internal misgendering of me, it's awkward. But I'm trying to figure out how that works. )

Sorry I'll stop asking now. I'll get my ND ass under control.

Yes to your first three questions.

So I call myself cishet because first I’m fairly sure that I’m not trans. I feel like a man, whatever that means. I get what I think is a sense of euphoria from doing certain “masculine” things (wearing suits, fixing things, etc.). I don’t like the idea of me wearing a skirt of other typically feminine clothing. I don’t like when people use feminine versions of my name and pronouns that aren’t he/him for me. In all aspects I can think of I’m a man.

As for the hetero part I know I like women. I always have as far as I can remember. I’ve never had attraction to men. Although in the past few years with learning about trans and nb people I’ve had to think more about it. I used to be transphobic in the sense that while I respected pronouns and names I wouldn’t accept that people were their something other than their assigned gender. After learning about the science behind sex and the social dynamics of gender I now fully accept trans and enby peeps. But that means reconsidering what I like about women and don’t like about men.

I’ve seen femboys that I’ve mistaken for women and been attracted to them. After finding out they were boys i was confused but I just wrote it off and didn’t think about it. I saw a lot of enbies that looked more masc or fem and I was attracted to them if I thought they were afab. But then I saw some enbies that were really androgynous and was really confused again. I learned that you can’t tell if someone is a man or woman or other just by looking at them. It’s possible I’m just attracted to femininity and not women specifically. But also women with muscles are hot.

Answering your question about tops and bottoms. After spending time in queer spaces I realized just how boring most cishet relationships are both romantically and sexually. The top, dom, and giver roles, etc are all dumped on the man while the bottom, sub, and receiver roles are all given to the woman. I think most cishets don’t even differentiate between the roles.

My brain still doesn’t comprehend what it’s like to be “a dude in a girl way” or anything similar to that. Like I respect you as a person I just don’t understand how that works. It seems like a contradiction at first but I know boy and girl aren’t opposites.

Sorry for taking so long to respond to this but I wanted to give you some good answers.

[voltrixz]

hiiii I have no idea what to specifically ask you about so ummm. ramble about whatever is on your mind in regards to tssm or madcom :D

OK HIII, I like forgot to do this when you first sent it (got un bored) and well I am bored again now so hi!!!

Uhh been gay about madcom and tssm lately. AUDITOR!!! MY BEAUTIFUL WIFE!!!! She has committed several atrocities. They're terrible. But she's pretty, I like him :]. And tbh Phobos crazy as hell, I would have not fumbled. Do need to draw these 2 more, I struggle so much with coming up with consistent designs for them because AGRHRH. They have so much gender stuff going on. Most gnc characters ever....

Now for tssm. Well. Selfshipping and ELECTROSHOCKER!!!!!! But also thinking about Shocker in specfic. Many things so strange about a seemingly normal guy. I know what he is....... ( A FAGGOT!!!). But anyways lately thinking about self shipping has been really fun. You see what if instead of giving Shocker one electric freak he has to figure out what he feels for, we give him 2!!!! (hi) And they commit crime and do a bunch of silly shenangians and be gay. Love wins!

Now for electroshocker. Sigh they make so sick. Never become a rarepair shipper because since you made IT THE FUCK UP!!!, you also gotta well. write and draw it too. FUCKK. Anyways forever thinking about them being comfortable in each other's space, just how much that means to electro as due to well. being made out of electricity, its kind of risky to be near him. But thanks to shocker's suit, he can be near him and hes not really scared of getting hurt, hes been through worse. AN DAGRHHRHR sigh. these fuckin guys...

[cardentist]

well ! I figured that was gonna happen, so lets not waste a good essay.

I feel like it's not controversial to say that there is a Lot of underlying transphobia in how people with "weird" gender and labels are treated. but in particular I'd like to highlight how multigender/genderfluid/genderqueer people/etc are expected to "pick a side" based on their agab (or perceived agab).

and this absolutely extends to nonbinary and intersex people as well. people viewing nonbinary people by their agab regardless of their identities, presentation, or real lived experiences (or punishing nonbinary people for not fitting what they Assume those things would be based on them Being nonbinary).

as well as the way that intersex people are erased and refused to be understood. it is, for instance, treated as ridiculous or even outright Dangerous to think an amab person could be trans masc or an afab person could be trans fem. ignoring, of course, that there are intersex people who Aren't treated like their agab. who are visibly read as trans and transition in ways that suit their agab.

and of course, intersex people have all sorts of relationships with gender and sexuality that influence their experiences.

but there's Also just this baseline kneejerk rejection of seeing multigender people as anything different from half trans. or rather, people don't like it when people relate to and share experiences with what they perceive as the "wrong" trans labels.

I've talked about this before, but I've been shuffling around labels for a very Very long time. both trying to find something to fit the way I feel, And in trying to figure out my feelings at all.

I've Always identified with both masculinity and femininity in some way, but for a very long time I've never enjoyed being Perceived As a girl. was I genderfluid, was I nonbinary, was I trans masc and gnc, what was I indeed. why was I comfortable, even Happy presenting femininely in some cases, but I feel antsy when my hair gets anywhere longer than "basically bald."

gender euphoria at the idea of going on T and wearing clothes that hide and change the shape language of my body, but Equally receiving gender euphoria at dressing and being perceived as Feminine without being perceived as a cis woman.

and in much the same way, when I Do present masculinely I enjoy not reading as a Cis man. that visible transness. that duality of masculine and feminine.

in the end I've found that my euphoria with femininity hinges on exactly that. I Want to transition, I want a deeper voice, I want my face and body to change. but I Also want to keep some of those traits that are read as feminine. some of the shape language of my body, my boobs, my presentation.

no matter how I choose to label this feeling, this desired presentation and desired interpretation, what this means for me is that I have shared experiences and desires with many other groups of trans people. trans people Can look and want to present as anything mind. but it is, for instance, not hard to imagine how someone in a dress with visible breasts and a masculine voice and facial hair would be interpreted and possibly treated.

and I think binary people really don't Like the idea of sharing experiences with the "wrong" sorts of people. they don't Like sharing experiences with nonbinary people, with multi gender or gender fluid people, with intersex people.

and I think I think there Needs to be some awareness of this. that trans spaces are always going to be fuzzy at the edges. that there will be men who are Also women and women who are Also men, and that not being a threat to anyone who's one or the other.

and I think there Also needs to be an awareness that this intolerance to people with Weird genders and presentations and labels. Is Transphobia, regardless of who it's coming from.

not to inherently demonize anyone struggling with feelings of discomfort, but to ask people to Examine that feeling. especially before they choose to interact with people who are different from them.

everyone has prejudices, everyone has insecurity, everyone has biases and difficult emotions that they're trying to work through. and there's nothing wrong with that, but there needs to be an awareness and recognition of it. to make the active effort not to react to someone you don't understand with a negative kneejerk.

sometimes things that sound unintuitive make perfect sense to the person it's relevant to, sometimes things that sound intuitive are wrong. you don't Have to understand somebody to leave them be to do their own thing. and if you feel that someone's existence is harmful, sometimes it's a good idea to check that emotion.

[thescrumblingmidwife]

So what are the ways to stop a period (and fertility) as an adult? I need to figure out my plans for when that time comes. I mean permanently, btw.

Hi Anon,

I'm getting a lot of asks like this. Here's another one:

Anonymous asked: whats the safest way to stop getting a period as quickly as possible? i was told by my gynecologist that id be given birth control that'd stop them but i keep getting them and it's been months

So let's do a menstrual suppression post.

MENSTRUAL SUPPRESSION (AKA, Secondary amenorrhea)

What can be done depends a lot on your age, where you are, what kind of healthcare access you have, as well as your reason for seeking menstrual suppression.

If you experience medical complications like endometriosis, serious menstrual pain (dysmenorrhea) or heavy menstrual bleeding that causes anemia, etc., you may find you have an easier time accessing treatments beyond BC than if you just "don't want a period." (FWIW - I think that's a completely valid reason for menstrual suppression!). Trans and GNC people will fall somewhere in the middle - depending on where you are, it may be considered a legitimate medical indication all on its own, and in other areas may result in a roadblock and discrimination.

Disclaimer - my scope as a midwife will be limited to the use of hormonal birth control until I complete separate training on offering gender-affirming care. So please take what I say here only as a rough guide to your own research. If I've missed anything or get anything wrong, please let me know!

PREPUBERTAL (have not yet gotten a period)

Leuprolide (lupron) is an antiandrogen medication that basically stops sex hormones from working. When used in prepubertal/early puberty kids, it's called a "puberty blocker." It's meant to be a temporary solution until the kid can be sure what they want to do next, as its effects are completely reversible. Pediatricians will usually refer you to an endocrinologist or a gender clinic rather than provide themselves.

Otherwise, I'm afraid that you must first go through the initial period of menarche until normal periods are established before you can then go on menstrual suppression.

ADOLESCENT (teen, not yet an adult)

Progestin-only birth control is the first-line treatment. The good news is that pretty much everyone can take it, and it's relatively easy to get. This works by keeping the uterine lining thin, and keeping a level of progestin high enough that you don't experience the withdrawal that triggers menses. Methods include: IUD (intrauterine device), Nexplanon (implant), Depo shot, and pills. In all methods, it takes several months to work, and spotting/breakthrough bleeding is a possibility.

---->If you take the pills, you have to take them at the exact same time every day, so the hormone levels stay even, or you risk breakthrough bleeding. Different brands have different progestins in them, so if one doesn't work for you after several months of taking it properly, you could ask your provider about switching to a different pill.

---->The IUD has the best record with total menstrual suppression after a few months, but it is the most invasive of the LARC methods to insert.

----> Nexplanon can take some time to achieve menstrual suppression, and some people still get breakthrough bleeding, but it is also the single most efficacious BC besides hysterectomy. Yes, even more than tubal ligation.

----> Depo shot is pretty good at achieving amenorrhea, but has more side effects (low libido, dry vagina, risk of bone loss) that can take a while to resolve after you come off it

Testosterone - If you are trans and go on T, it may stop your menstrual cycles/ovulation, but it is not a guarantee. People on T are counseled to also be on BC, because it is does not eliminate the possibility of pregnancy and is teratogenic (can cause birth defects). You should not go on T purely to stop menses, as it has other permanent effects - go on T for those effects and be pleased if it happens to stop your period.

ADULT (18/21+ up)

All of the above methods, plus:

Estrogen-containing birth control may offer more suppression but also increases certain health risks (like clots), and it has a number of contraindications (reasons why someone can't use it safely). Generally don't advise teens to use it.

Tubal ligation for FERTILITY CONTROL ONLY. This will not stop periods!

For transmen: Hysterectomy (uterus removed) and/or salpingectomy/oophorectomy (tubes/ovaries removed). This is a component of gender-affirming care - but you will likely need to find a specialized provider for it. The average gynecologist is not going to do an elective (no medical indication) hysterectomy ----> https://transcare.ucsf.edu/guidelines/hysterectomy

I have seen some evidence that Lupron can be used for menstrual suppression as well, but I haven't heard much about it being used outside of certain medical indications (like if someone has cancer).

GENDER-AFFIRMING CARE

If you identify as trans or gender non-conforming and there is a gender clinic in your area, I recommend trying to get in with them, as they deal with this sort of question regularly. They have interdisciplinary teams (mental health providers, gynecologists, endocrinologists, surgeons, etc) that can meet all your needs. Someone trained in gender-affirming care will be best equipped to help you.

Here is a list of gender clinics in the USA:

Ok, all you Anons out there - I hope this is a good jumping-off point for you to find what you need. The TLDR is please try to find a provider who is willing to work with you and help you find what's available to you in your area!

[cepheusgalaxy]

Y'know, once I thought about purposefully doing a story full of clichés and molding them to my likings, just to loose up, you know? Not having to worry about using too oversaturated tropes, since I'm doing it purposefully, and I abandoned it a while ago but I think it'd be nice to revisit it.

cws: death mention

Mary Sue has a tragic backstory: Her parents died in a gruesome way in front of her, and she was sent to live with her uncles/a foster family, who are like, very bad at parenting, and she is also trans to add a little more angst and make her an outcast as well

She also has a magical heritage of being from the noblety of a magical people but she doesn't know that yet, of course

One day, she is being attacked by a vampire! But then another, conventionally atractive and conveniently skilled and well-meaning vampire appears (hes a vampire hunter) and saved her

He figures she has some magic abilities (from this part i draw a lot from The Mortal Intruments coz i like that series very much) and takes her to his base where he works with a lot of other people and eventually she ends up joining them

The team and their dynamic is gonna be inspired by the Institute in tmi

Oh and they're also the harem:

We're gonna have an older mentor figure, ofc, but then there's the guys,

The Vampire Vampire Hunter who saved Mary Sue

Flamboyant Gnc Catboy because I Can

Angsty Sasuke (Trans) Boy

Exiled Prince

and some others i haven't thought about

Okay, so, at some point, (they're anomaly/ghost/vampires/bad magic people hunters) we Burn Down the Setting, maybe a little literally, and they have to run away. The mentor is Out so they have to deal with things on their own and they decide to travel to The Misterious Forest of Something (so misterious i dont even know what happens there) and arrive at a temple-ish of a retired Sage Mage

they spend some time there (insert bonding of Mary Sue + Angsty Sasuke) and then they decide to go to the Magic Capital (there is a whole bunch of countries that are hidden from the Normal People and inhabited by magical beings like them) to reagrupe, and, hmm, plan of taking down the Evil Mage who actually Burnt Down their Institute

When they go to the capital, there is this prince guy who agrees on helping them and giving them the information they need, but only if Mary Sure wants to sleep with him (coz shes very Desirable as a Mary Sue, remember?), and at first she tries to go along despiste her teammates advising her not to since she doesn't really want to do that, but anyways, nothing happens because she just ends up leaving him there. Shes a little ashamed of destroying their only chance of getting Information (teammates are currently trying reassuring her) when A New Guy Appears

He's Dumbass Prince's younger brother, and wants to help them

He ends up joining the Team and in the next arc they leave the Capital and go to another Magical Kingdom/Country (maybe a fae land >:] ) to get more info on Evil Guy (who, although they don't know yet, is Mary Sue's--wait, not father, since his dead, my bad--uncle/cousin/brother/idk, something)

That's what I had planned so far lmao

Yeah, it's a fun concept to mess up with so I think I'll eventually revisit it

[bidisaster-peanut-romano]

Yo what are your thoughts around Juri? Particularly around the whole ‘have you ever wondered what it would be like to be of the opposite sex?’ line. (Btw I’m going to referring to Juri with he/him pronouns for the sake of consistency and my personal headcanon). I wouldn’t say outright that he’s an uncracked egg since his ideas surrounding gender are very limited, and I think the line should be interpreted with that in mind, so it’s possible that he wants to be GNC and imagines how being the opposite sex would allow him to express ‘weakness’ or other forms of expression more freely. I think back to that one line where he’s afraid of being seen as ‘girly’ and struggling to express how he doesn’t like Mr Burton shouting at him 

I feel like Juri’s constant need to assert his masculinity and superiority over the nerds is partially due to him not feeling like he entirely fits in otherwise (because first-generation immigrant and I head canon that he only recently joined the jocks) as well as his father’s social conditioning 

But if we were to interpret Juri as transfem, what would you say their relationship with Cornelius would be like? I’d imagine that Cornelius’ family is way more accepting than Juri’s but idk what impact that would have

why hi you!! i'm so happy to hear your thoughts???

so yeah, to begin with totally agree with him being first generation immigrant from russia; i do think this also contributes, because, and i might be wrong here since my knowledge is mostly based on online reports and just a few friends of mine that come from those geographic areas, as far as i know they are still particularly struggling for civil rights and in particular queer people. so yeah, i do think this perception of gender has stayed with him from there. (not that many other countries are that much better tbf. hello giorgia meloni called out about queer rights by literally everyone in the world)

i really like the interpretation of him that you suggested there?? it makes sense really. a way of sort of trying to look out of this imposed binary of expression. personally, i headcanon juri as bigender (he/she)!! he's terribly insecure about it though, because even though it is a sentiment and a perception of gender that she relates to, that he feels even comfortable into, there's that doubt gnawing inside, that internalized sentiment of how gender is supposed to work, and a sense of inadequacy at not making it work just right like the other jocks do (or at least seem to do, especially in her amplified vision where she is the only one who's wrong about it, where he is the defective one) (have i already mentioned how gender performance is a terribly strong theme of the jocks? god i love them)

and cornelius, mmh... that is in fact an interesting question. as long as they are both in school, i see their interactions to be quite hard honestly. mostly because there again, cornelius is a nerd and juri is a jock; the nerds' force runs on resentment after all, and juri as a jock would have her reputation ruined if he were to meet cornelius and someone found out about it.

on the other hand, though... i mean, i think cornelius, especially after coming out to the clique, would be fairly cmfortable in her gender expression, dare i say confident? i mean, they are still a nerd and years of being bullied and picked on does Things to a Brain, but. let's just focus on the gender euphoria there. especially since i still think her parents look at her kind of sideways about it (when they come out at least- but yes they never had problem with her playing juliet and her interests)

and juri, being as receptive as he is in this situation of his, would probably figure that asking to cornelius for even some advice might be a good idea? in secret of course!! like no other student must find out about it ever!! but. it can't hurt to try.

so yeah them getting close from here would kind of... change many things about the way they see humans at all, i guess? realizing that beyond the prejudices of a pea-brained gorilla or a stuck-up egghead there's a complex person, with fears and thoughts and feelings, just like them, because after all there isn't really an "us" and "them" but a multitude of people not really knowing what they're doing, thinking everyone else is doing it better than them, but at the end of the day just trying their best to go through life.

[yuri-review]

Flip Flappers (2016)

I can add this image, it's from the first episode!

Flip Flappers is a 13-episode long magical girl show from 2016. It follows the adventures of our main characters, Cocona and Papika, as they travel through alternate dimensions known as Pure Illusion, seeking out amorphous shards said to grant wishes.

(Full review under the cut!)

The writing and plot: 3.5/5

The writing and plot of Flip Flappers is charming, and differs from typical magical girl shows in one significant way; they don't fight against monsters or supervillains seeking to wreck havoc on Earth, instead travelling to alternate dimensions, and fighting monsters there. And also fighting against the agents of a secret organization seeking to obtain all the amorphous shards... wait, does that count as supervillainy?

Flip Flappers explores themes such as control various adults have over children, growing into your own and changing as a person, and, as any good magical girl show, love. It also briefly touches on the experience of feeling empty, and the idea of people loving you not for you, but for what you can do for them. The writing is good but rushed due to the short episode count, leaving some plotlines feeling a little unexplored. The show definitely could've benefited from a higher episode count, which is something that goes for almost all shows stuffed into such a small amount of episodes, and I will yell that from the top of my lungs constantly! Limiting episode counts is the death of compelling character writing and overarching plotlines! That brings us to our next point-

The characters: 3/5

I love love love Cocona, but I know more could've been done with her feelings of inadequasy and emptiness. Papika is a good complementing main character to her, especially through the last few episodes, but I can't help but find her lack of boundaries and respect for Cocona's a little too grating at first. Yayaka, our antagonistic-ish figure, is a wonderful add-on to the cast, and she's possibly one of my favorite yuri third wheels- I mean side characters to date. All characters grow during the show, and it's a pleasure to watch!

Side characters are also compelling in this show, even if they aren't all very remarkable! I liked the little plotline with the art club senpai, and Yayaka's sidekicks were good to have around as well. Team Flip Flap was good fun too, I especially enjoyed the mad computer scientist who was gnc af.

The yuri: 2.5/5

Flip Flappers comes across as another one of those anime that was gunning for canon yuri rep, but the higher-ups noticed it halfway through and whacked it with the no-homo hammer. Most standout moments, such as Cocona literally conversing with the manifestation of her repressed sexuality, happen earlier than 8 episodes in, but there's some yuri to be found all throughout the show, in the end with some very emotional moments as well! I will say however that the ending twist was giving slightly When Marnie Was There vibes, but thankfully it wasn't like that.

Various short segments:

The emotional aspect: 4/5. The aforementioned themes were well done, and I can admit I cried once or twice while watching! Not much more I can say without spoilers, so let's get on with it!

The humor: 2/5. Not much to say about it, sometimes it hit well!

The fanservice: 1/5. I didn't need to see panty shots of the girls in their transformation sequence or an episode where they're in their swimsuits the whole time and stuffed into tiny environments, thank you very much.

Overall: 3.5/5

I really enjoyed Flip Flappers! It wasn't anything very remarkable, but I know I'll think about it very fondly from now on! Its willingness to take on themes not often seen in anime was good to see, and the characters carried the good plot well. Go watch it if magical girls are your cup of tea!

[icharchivist]

Orologia has tits now? Wake up babe, new GNC waifu dropped

yeah holy shit. Genderfluid Nonbinary Orologia here we GO

tho ngl i really am not fan of the fem!design, it really is just waifu shapped 😭 the masc!design is so wetcat shapped and pitiful i genuinely love the idea, but for the fem!design it really feels like "no we can't make a pitiful girl we need boobs :(". On a Doylian perspective (taking into account the designers's opinions) i dont really like it (and if they make the fem!design playable over the masc!design i think i'd be so sad. Best of both world: both design appears on their unit.)

on a Wastonian perspective (forgetting the designers and taking it as the character's idea) i think it's great Orologia managed to figure out what were the two forms that fit them the most. Some days you just want to be a wet cat, some day you just want to look cute. I can respect that.

That being said, i think it was mentioned none of the dragon really had a gender anyway? They're all basically experimenting with gender now as they're taking "humanoid forms" and they have gendered pronouns that go with it, but all the gang, Fediel, Wilnas, Lu Woh, Galleon, Wamdus, Ewiyar... They're all Nonbinary, technically speaking. Their genders are even listed as "Other" in game. Literally nothing stops them from doing just like Orologia and getting forms that'd reflect that down the line.

And apparently, according to Wamdus's FE, it's Orologia who gave them the potions to change their shape to start with, they're literally the Hrt/T distributor of the gang.

(though i love how it means Ewiyar, who's presentation is "Cat", who's gender is filled under "Other" in gameplay (which really shows Ewiyar really went to it going "My Gender is Cat."), still uses she/her pronouns, or more like, people use she/her pronouns for her and she doesn't mind. Gives me the vivid idea of Ewiyar considering "would i get better worshipping out of being a female cat you think? I'll say yes. She i come.")

So i'm just glad Oro is just as Nonbinary as the rest of the gang and decided to drive it a step further, since people can forget easily the rest of the gang is Nonbinary, by going "no, you will stare at my waifu form as well. It's the full package."

Thank u Granblue for the genders.