#as well as being one of my sources of joy growing up

[lumillsie]

ೃ⁀➷ all my life. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

jon snow x f!arryn!reader headcanons

╰┈➤ in which lady catelyn's niece is brought to winterfell as a ward, and grows to care for her misliked stepson.

a/n : I put jon's birth year as 283 ac, whereas in the show he was born in 281ac - so I struggled a bit on which to choose, but ultimately 283ac suited my outline for the story a bit better. the characters are still aged up as per their show versions. I've also aged down robin arryn, implying that both jon and reader would be in their adolescence during his birth, whereas in the source material, jon is only a few years older than robin.

massive, massive shoutout to @angelseraphines for being my greatest support as always, and I'm not sure if I would've gone ahead and published this if not for her encouragement 🩷

╰┈➤ in 285ac, lord jon arryn and his lady wife lysa welcomed the first of their living children.

╰┈➤ you were a beautiful babe, bright-eyed with a lovely smile, truly the apple of the hand's eye. lord arryn had been married three times in his lifetime, and you were the first of his children to live to term. the graying man was enamored with your newborn-self, and he wished for nothing but your safety and joy.

╰┈➤ for all his love for you, the hand of the king knew how venomous the environment of the royal court to be. the halls were dripping with the schemes of those who wished to advance their positions, and a man of his position knew that the only living child, let alone a girl, of his would be treated as no more than a tool of the court's most cunning.

╰┈➤ your father wished to see you happy and contented, and he wished to keep you safe from the treachery of red keep. and so, on the eve of your sixth nameday, your father wrote to the boy he once fostered in the vale, now a lord paramount in his own right. eddard stark was possibly the only man jon arryn trusted to the same extent he trusted his grace, the king. it was a difficult decision to make, but he was acting in your best interests. life at winterfell would suit his little falcon better, for you would grow strong and you'd be well-looked after. you'd be far away from the glances of power-hungry, lecherous men who wished for nothing but power. you would be with family as well, as the lady catelyn was your mother's only sister - and her children your closest blood. it was a great honour in westeros, to be trusted with the upbringing of one's child, and it was an honour lord arryn would bestow upon lord stark.

╰┈➤ lysa was resistant to the idea of sending away her only living child - the years of losing babe after babe had taken their toll on her, but she eventually relented. you would be safer in winterfell, and catelyn was still her sister - for all the distance between them.

╰┈➤ mere days after lord stark accepted your father's offer, you were sent to winterfell as a ward with a kiss on the forehead from your mother and an unusually tight hug from your father.

╰┈➤ the first couple of weeks were rough - for you were often coddled by your parents. you missed tugging on your mother's skirts and resting in your father's arms. you weren't used to the absence of them, and while you tried not to cause trouble for your caretakers - they could tell you had a hard time adjusting.

╰┈➤ there were two people in winterfell whose presence brought you comfort during that trying time. the first was your aunt, lady catelyn stark, your mother's only sister. you knew little else of winterfell, but you were comforted by the familiar shade of auburn that cascaded down her shoulders and the unique cadence to her voice that could only be ascribed to a woman born of riverrun. she wasn't your mother, but she was the closest to her anyone could get. she sung you lullabies only your mother knew, and the gentle manner in which she treated you was that of a mother towards her child. the second was the boy named after your father, jon snow. you latched onto him early on in your stay in winterfell, and nobody was quite sure as to why. perhaps it was for his name, for you often called for him - at first you were calling for your father, but jon always answered. he was two years your senior and still a boy unsure of his place in his own home - for all the love of his father and the acceptance of his siblings was matched evenly with pointed looks and whispers of bastardy, as well as lady catelyn's cold distance and her decision to ignore his existence the best he could. some would say that it was your insistence on seeking him out that helped reassure the dark-haired boy of his place. of all the nobles and commonfolk at winterfell, you gravitated towards him.

╰┈➤ at first you were content to spend your time with him in silence, and he never appeared opposed to that. within a few weeks, you were talking to him about your life back in the crownlands. you talked about your mother, and her watchful, protecting eyes that seemed to follow you everywhere. you talked about your father, and his insistence on making time for your regardless of how pertinent his responsibilities may have been at any given point. you talked about the king too, and his tales of the valour and glory he experienced side by side with jon's own father. he spoke to you too, of how lovely his father and siblings were, of winterfell's hidden gems and it's most well-known attractions. he promised to take you to the weirwood tree in the godswood when the opportunity arose, and he followed through on his promise. jon snow had become, aside for the lady catelyn whom you'd grown to love as you loved your mother, your dearest person.

╰┈➤ your aunt catelyn was not fond of your budding friendship with the reminder of her husband's indiscretion - that much was plain to see by the harsh manner in which her brows furrowed and frown of her lips, and yet she made no move to disallow it. she could see that his presence helped you get used to your new home, and soon enough you were playing with sansa, teaching arya and bran how to say your name and often fetching robb to speak with him on the way to break your fast. it pleased to see your aunt to see you and her own children bond so quickly, and she kept her dissatisfaction of your bond with jon to herself.

╰┈➤ jon was there for many of the major moments of your life, with the most notable being the first letter you'd written your parents. you had just started learning how to read in the red keep, but lord stark made sure to place you with septa mordane alongside his daughters and he kept an eye on you to make sure your education was advancing. not to mention, lord and lady stark were adamant in ensuring that you remained in touch with your parents - making sure you became literate was the most important factor in that. early on, you would ask jon to re-read your letters before you were to show them to lord stark, and your friend was always glad to do it. the faint red hue that enveloped his cheeks as he read the parts where you mentioned him to your father went unnoticed by you, too focused on making sure that your letter was presentable to lord eddard.

╰┈➤ you remained close through your childhood and closer into adolescence, but it wasn't until one fateful evening that somebody changed between the two of you.

╰┈➤ the letter you received from your parents was unlike any other you had received in the past. the words seemed to swirl on the yellowed paper, and you could feel a headache in coming. your mother had given birth to a son - a proper heir to the vale. you should have felt happy, overjoyed even. a part of you, unfortunately, felt overwhelmed by misery and you could not quite understand why. you were content in winterfell, loved even - and you knew you were never to be heir to begin with, for you were a daughter and your father had plenty of nephews to choose from. so, why did you feel so unhappy? you couldn't quite figure it out, at least not until you spoke to the one person who understood why you felt the way you did, even when you yourself could not.

╰┈➤ you'd skipped supper in favor of spending the evening by the godswood, and truthfully, you expected aunt catelyn to send robb to retrieve you when it was due time for you to return to your chambers. instead, you were surprised to see that jon came for you instead. as you rose from beneath the weirwood tree, red leaves giving way to a darkened sky, you walked side by side with jon towards the great keep. he spoke to you quietly then, of things you never dared ask and he never dared to say outloud. he spoke to you of the mystery of his mother, of wanting to know who she was and if she had wanted him, of wanting to know what kind of person she was. it was only then that the truth of your misery dawned on you. you wished to truly know your parents, and your brother - but you never truly could. for all the letters in the world cannot bring you the closeness of having your family near. robin would know your parents in the ways that you never would, and they would know him in ways that they never knew you. it was a bitter pill to swallow, but you felt as if you could breathe easier - with the realisation clear in your mind.

╰┈➤ you were grateful to jon as well, for his vulnerability with you and for his kindness. you thanked him for walking you back to your chambers, and left a chaste peck on his cheek before retreating. "I am grateful... for you, and all that you are" were the words you spoke to him. a silent acknowledgement hung in the air between the two of you. he was still your dearest friend, and you were his - but something had changed. the way in which you regarded one another had changed.

╰┈➤ it was as if the wall that you two had carefully placed between yourselves had found itself with holes in it. you were still careful, chaste even - but it was apparent to those around you that you two loved eachother. you'd make handkerchiefs for him in your embroidery classes and he'd gently hold onto your hand in the privacy of the godswood.

╰┈➤ none were truly aware of the extent of your affections for one-another, for you were both aware of your positions. you were a noble-man's daughter, entrusted in the care of jon's father who was meant to find you a suitable match and marry you off well. you were considered a bride for theon greyjoy or willas tyrell, but not jon. not a baseborn son of your noble caretaker, with no titles to his name and no inheritance to claim. furthermore, were you to rebel and marry jon without anyone's knowledge - you would soil not only the reputations of your fathers, but the goodwill and bond they shared, for lord arryn entrusted lord stark with your upbringing.

╰┈➤ you two grew closer over the following year, and it was apparent to both of you that you would not have the time to properly court one another before pursuing a way to convince your fathers to allow marriage. you were a woman grown, of marrying age. not to mention, you were lord arryn's only daughter, and a marriage to you was the most effective manner in which a noble house could strengthen its ties to the vale. lord and lady stark, with minor interference from your parents, were close to making their decision - and your aunt made sure to consult you often in subtle manners, asking whether you'd prefer to remain in winterfell when you marry, asking if you'd like to return to the red keep once you are to have a family of your own. you could not avoid your fates any longer.

╰┈➤ you pondered over what to do for a couple of days, but you knew you had no time to wait. without informing jon, you decided to plea your case to your aunt catelyn - the person you'd always felt closest to in winterfell, from the day you arrived to the present. you knew of her mislike for jon, there wasn't a singular person in winterfell who wasn't aware of it - and yet, during all these years, she hadn't said a word to you of your closeness. you asked for an audience with her in the evening, and you told her everything as you sat with your hands in hers atop the fur carpets by the roar of the fire. you confided in her about how precious jon had always been to you, of how you felt the evening of robin's birth and of how you had love for jon in a way a lady should only have love for her husband. your eyes glistened with unshed tears as you spoke to her of how you feared a betrothal, as you didn't think you could bare being married to anyone else. she listened to you as you spoke. when you finished, she leaned down to give you a kiss on the forehead and exited the room. you never got an answer from her.

╰┈➤ lady catelyn's heart ached from the weight of what she had to do. she resented jon, but she could never truly hate him as a person. she feared what his existence, and the way he looked, may mean for her own children but she could never begrudge you for befriending him. this, however, could be disastrous for all of you - and she needed to put a stop to it. she sought jon out the following morning, before it was time for the family to break their fast. she warned him of what his involvement with you could do to your reputation, and of how marrying him would cause you to lose all that you were born with. a woman has little choice in this world but to marry well, and your singular status as lord arryn's only daughter provided you with a privilege not many women could afford - a privilege you would lose were you to marry him. she urged him to put distance between the two of you, if he cared for you as you claimed he did. it was the first time she'd really acknowledged him, and her words stung - perhaps nearly as deep as her resentment and distance once did.

╰┈➤ you were unaware of the fact that this conversation had even taken place to begin with, and jon's insistence on ignoring you came as a shock. you couldn't tell what you had done wrong and you were unsure of how to reason with him.

╰┈➤ it wasn't easy for him to keep his distance from you either, but he took lady catelyn's words to heart. he truly believed that if he kept his distance from you, then you would have an easier time accepting a potential betrothal - as you were always meant to do. now that he was at a distance from you, he was free to confide in robb - and he found comfort in his brother. it was difficult, keeping his feelings from the man he trusted most to begin with and robb's brotherly teasing, as well as his unspoken understanding helped him cope with his decision. for a time at least.

╰┈➤ this tense situation and the distance between you was broken by the most tragic news of your life - your father and the hand of the king, lord jon arryn, had passed away. in addition to your grief, added pressure was placed upon your shoulders as the news of the royal family's impending visit to winterfell reached you. all of this proved to be too much for you, and you crumbled once again, for the first time since your arrival to the north. it was jon whom you turned to once again, and he couldn't find it in him to turn you down. he held you in his arms as you wept, and as you turned to look to him - you made the bold move you'd never dared to make. you leaned upwards and planted a kiss upon his lips, the salty taste of tears staining both of you. he gave in for a split second, before pulling away - remembering lady catelyn's words. "I intend to promise myself to the night's watch. I've already made my father aware of my decision" he confessed to you, his tone gentle yet final. it was then that you asked him why, your voice on the brink of shattering. he spoke to you of his conversation with lady catelyn, and of the steps he took to make sure your reputation wasn't soiled - of the steps he took to make sure you could still have a good life.

╰┈➤ you left him wordlessly then, anger coursing through every inch of your body. you were angry for a multitude of reason - at your father, for sending you to winterfell to begin with. at the world, for taking your father from you before you'd had the chance to see him once more. at your aunt catelyn and jon, for making decisions that concerned you without even thinking to consult you.

╰┈➤ you withdrew to yourself, simply going through the motions as you prepared for the king and his family to arrive at winterfell. you felt no joy at the prospect of seeing him once again, and the thought of his visit served as nothing more than a reminder that you were truly never going to see your father again. you were courteous but curt in all your exchanges, but you exchanged nothing more than pleasantries with all those around you. jon tried to speak with you often, to ensure that you two weren't going to go your separate ways on such poor terms - but he was unsuccessful. you had switched places, with you now ignoring his attempts to speak with you as he had done weeks before.

╰┈➤ the issues between you two and your pointed attempts to ignore him are once again put on hold with all the madness that follows the royal family's visit - bran's accident, your mother's letter to catelyn and the king's offer to lord stark all become topics much more pertinent than jon's upcoming departure and your potential betrothals, and the two of you settle into a peaceful coexistence within the last few days of his stay at winterfell. in truth, as you came to accept your father's death and the unfortunate fate that befell bran, you came to the conclusion that the short time you had with one another was a precious thing, not to be wasted - and you sought him out often, just as you once did.

╰┈➤ the morning he was set to leave for the night's watch, you rose early in the hour of the nightingale- and you sought him out. you walked to the godswood once more, your arm brushing against his. "I believe that I have loved you all my life. I believe that I will love you for the rest of it" you admitted to him as he reached out to grasp your hands in his, a sad smile making its way across your face. "I have loved you all my life, and I will love you for the rest of it" he vowed to you as he leaned down to press his final, gentle kiss upon your lips. you needn't have spoken words of forgiveness or talked much of anything else. you were overcome with a melancholic contentedness in that very moment. jon left his home with his uncle benjen within the next few hours, but he left his heart in winterfell with you.

╰┈➤ that very same evening, you wept in your aunt catelyn's arms. her kiss upon your forehead felt the same as your mother's on the day you last saw her - on the day you left your home behind.

a/n : and that's where I think I'm going to end this! if I ever feel like it, I may revisit jon and arryn!reader later down the line - perhaps with a quick rewrite of season and a happier ending than I gave them here. the original version of this fic is still in my drafts, but I legitimately hated the pacing and the dynamic between jon and reader felt rushed so I rewrote the whole thing - I'm still not fully happy with it, but I much prefer this version and I'm more comfortable publishing it. I hope you enjoy reading this, and please be sure to leave some constructive criticism as I do think there are some parts here that I think can be improved. please do forgive me if the pacing feels slightly off, I struggled quite a bit with this prompt and I legitimately could not write this fic a third time nor expand on it more to try and make it more sensible.

as always, I'm tagging several different characters to help get the post out to as many people as possible, but I do write for all of the characters tagged below so please feel free to request something for them.

[splatloafbud]

THANK YOU SPLATOON 1 FOR CHANGING MY LIFE ❤️

[emmodii-mode]

Just finished my first playthrough of BG3. Romanced Lae'zel, but ending up turning into an Illithid because the idea of making Orpheus or Karlach do it didn't sit well with me (or my character).

I told Lae'zel to leave with Orpheus in the end (I heard she wouldn't stay with a ghaik anyway, which she's valid for, but also, it doesn't feel right to ask her to stay when I know how much her people mean to her). And like-

Her face before she flies off---

She looks so heartbroken and sad.

[multific]

A Husband's Duties

Marcus Acacius x Reader

Summary: After a small injury, you decide it is better to not burden your husband, and hide it from him. But of course, when he finds out and he is less than impressed. 

As you prepare dinner in the warm glow of the kitchen, a sudden surge of pain shoots through your body. 

In an instant, you feel a sharp pain in your side, causing you to wince and clutch at the source of the discomfort. 

As you try to shake off the pain, you can't help but worry about how Marcus will react when he comes home and sees what you've been hiding.

The minutes tick by slowly, each second feeling like an eternity as you desperately try to compose yourself. 

You know that Marcus will be upset if he finds out you've been injured and kept it from him. But deep down, you also know that you were only trying to protect him, to spare him from unnecessary worry.

Finally, the sound of the front door opening echoes through your home, signalling Marcus's return. Your heart races as you continue to work in the kitchen, your movements becoming more strained with every passing second. 

You can hear his footsteps approaching, growing louder with each step.

"My Love, I'm home," Marcus calls out, his voice filled with a mix of fatigue and excitement. 

But as soon as he catches sight of you, his eyes narrow, and concern replaces the joy on his face.

"What happened?" he asks, his voice tinged with anger, his eyes fixed on the pained expression etched across your face. 

You take a deep breath, struggling to find the right words to explain yourself.

"I... I didn't want to worry you," you stammer, your voice barely a whisper. "I thought I could handle it on my own."

Marcus' anger softens, replaced by a mixture of worry and frustration. He crosses the room in a few strides, gently taking your hand in his. 

"I appreciate your efforts, My Love, but you should never have to face something like this alone. Tell me please, what happened?" he says, his voice filled with a tenderness that reassures you.

You let out a long sigh.

"I fell. I took the wrong step and fell up the stairs. I hurt my side when I fell on the stone steps."

He carefully tends to your injury, his touch gentle and comforting. As he wraps a bandage around your side, you can feel his relentless support, his love flowing through every action.

"My Love, I might just have to follow you everyone to make sure you are safe and sound."

"I do not wish to keep you from your duties."

"Being your husband is my greatest one." he said and you smiled at him.

For the next couple of days, Marcus becomes your rock, taking care of you with such love and care. 

He cooks, cleans, and ensures that you have everything you need to heal. But more than that, he listens to your fears and worries, offering a steady hand to lean on during your recovery.

Through it all, you learn the importance of openness and trust in a relationship. 

You realize that keeping secrets, even with good intentions, can only lead to misunderstandings and unnecessary distress. 

Marcus's anger reflected his concern for your well-being, a reminder that the strength of your bond lies in open and honest communication.

As you heal, you grow closer and closer, cherishing the deep love between you. 

In the end, your injury becomes a trigger for strengthening your relationship, reminding both of you of the power of compassion and teamwork in overcoming any challenge that comes your way.

Taglist: 

@castellandiangelo @imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl @manduse @jacalineiscomingforyou 

@mandoloriancookie @deliciousfestsalad @lilliumrorum @asgards-princess-of-mischief 

@fallout-girl219 @dracaryxzs @snowtargaryen 

~Masterlist~

ˇAO3ˇ

/YOU DO NOT HAVE PERMISSION TO TRANSLATE, TO STEAL OR TO REUPLOAD ANY OF MY WORKS TO THIS OR OTHER PLATFORMS/

[multi-fandom-imagines8]

Bound by Duty

Summary: Y/n is a Spring Court fae who’s loyal to Tamlin. Once she’s allowed to visit Feyre, she starts developing feelings for Cassian. But their love was never meant to be…

A/N: y/f/f = your favorite flower.

Warnings: angst, mention of abuse toward the end, Y/n being in denial about it.

Word Count: 3.1 K.

You can read part 2/alternative ending here.

The Spring Court had always been a place of comfort, beauty and peace. But lately, it felt suffocating. When Feyre came into your lives, she ignited something in Tamlin, and you grew to become close friends. With her gone, it felt empty, especially with Tamlin throwing fits of rage and being his broody self.

Before Feyre came into his life, you had been his source of joy amidst the curse and all. He had saved your life, and ever since, you stayed by his side, never refusing him a request. After Feyre left, you grew apart- or rather, he did.

“What’s wrong?” his voice cut through your thoughts, pulling you back to the present. You blinked, almost forgetting that the two of you were eating dinner until he spoke. His brow was furrowed, concern flickering in his green eyes.

“Nothing” you lied, forcing a smile to your lips, though it felt strained.

“Don’t lie to me” he said, his voice growing firmer as he set his fork down, leaning closer. His eyes narrowed slightly as they searched your face “I know you. Something is bothering you”.

“What makes you think that?” you mumbled, your fingers idly playing with the food on your plate, unable to meet his eyes.

“You used to be full of life- happy. Now, you rarely even smile” he said, his expression softening, a flicker of something vulnerable flashing across his face.

“Oh! I hadn‘t realized that” you responded, blinking in surprise. You hadn’t noticed the change yourself, too distracted by everything weighing on your mind.

“Well?” He pressed, his eyes never leaving yours “What’s going on with you?”.

“You don’t have to worry about me. I’ll sort it out” you gave him another fake smile.

“There you go again, pretending that everything is fine when it’s not. Now, tell me what’s wrong”.

You sighed deeply, trying to keep your voice steady as you looked down at your lap “I don’t want to upset you”.

“You already have by not telling me”.

“Fine… I miss Feyre. I wish I could just visit her” you didn’t mean to say the last sentence- at least not out loud.

“Oh” you could see the pain on his face. He was silent for a moment, thinking about something. “If you wish to see her, you can go. You’re not my prisoner, Y/n. You may do as you please”. One look into his eyes and you could tell that he was afraid that you’d leave him too.

“I know that, but I don’t want to leave you. You come first” you said softly, your voice soothing as you reached out and gently placed your hand on his.

“Do you mean it?” he asked, his voice betraying his surprise.

“Of course. Tamlin, you saved my life. I’m indebted to you, and I’ll forever be grateful to you. I won’t go if you don’t want me to”.

“If it’ll make you happy, go! You have my blessing” he murmured, though his expression remained conflicted.

“Thank you” you said, offering him a genuine smile this time, one that felt real as your heart lightened.

—

Stepping into the Night Court felt like stepping into an entirely new world. You hadn’t left the Spring Court in years, and anxiety prickled at your skin. Not only were you nervous about traveling alone, but you’d heard stories about the Fae who lived here.

You had sent Feyre a word of your arrival and she informed you that one of her most trusted men would be there to pick you up.

Just as you looked up at the sky, a massive male with wings descended gracefully, his broad shoulders and muscular build making him appear more imposing. He was handsome- strikingly so- and you found yourself momentarily speechless.

“Are you Y/n?” he asked, his voice deep yet calm, though he raised an eyebrow at your wide-eyed stare.

“I- uh, yes, I am” you stammered, cheeks flushing with embarrassment as you realized you’d been staring.

“Cassian” he introduced himself, extending his hand to you with a charming grin. “Nice to meet you” When you didn’t immediately react, his expression shifted to confusion “Are you alright?”

“Sorry” you quickly shook his hand, feeling the strength in his grip as warmth flooded your cheeks again. “I’m just nervous. This is my first time traveling alone”.

He chuckled “That’s alright. Come on, let’s go” he said, extending his hand once more, this time to help you as he prepared to take flight.

You hesitated for only a moment, before placing your hand in his, feeling the calluses of a warrior on his palm. His wings stretched wide as he effortlessly lifted you into the sky.

Arriving at the House of Wind, you saa Feyre waiting with the rest of the Inner Circle. Your heart lightened at the sight of your friend, but as you approached, a winged male with a more intimidating presence stepped in front of her, his gaze sharp.

“Az, that’s not necessary” Feyre said, stepping past him and wrapping her arms around you in a warm hug.

“She could be a spy for all we know” Rhysand added, his tone casual, yet assessing.

“You promised me you’d behave” Feyre turned and gave her mate a pointed look.

“I- I’m not, I’m not a spy” you stammered, your voice faltering as you tried to defend yourself, feeling your cheeks flush under Rhysand’s scrutiny.

Feyre smiled warmly at you “It’s alright, don’t worry about them. They can be mean to strangers sometimes” she reassured you, her hand gently squeezing yours.

“Hey, not all of us” Cassian chimed in with a playful grin, earning an eye roll from Feyre.

“Are you joining us for dinner, my lady?” Cassian asked, his voice carrying a teasing lilt as his eyes flicked to yours.

“I- uhm” you looked at Feyre, uncertain if you were welcome to stay that long.

“Of course she is. You are, right? You’ve come a long way, you must stay the night” Feyre insisted.

“I-” you wanted to object but seeing Feyre all hopeful, you relented “alright, but I have to leave early in the morning”.

—

While most of the IC remained distant, Feyre and, surprisingly, Cassian were friendly, making you feel more comfortable. Cassian in particular seemed genuinely interested in what you had to say.

“Even if relations weren’t strained, I would not be able to enjoy the Spring Court” Cassian remarked, his tone casual as he leaned back in his chair.

You turned to him, a slight frown tugging at your lips “Oh! And why is that?”

“I have an allergy” he admitted with a half-smile, causing Feyre to chuckle softly.

“That must be horrible… you must really hate flowers, then?” You asked, eyebrows raised in curiosity.

He shrugged with a small grin “I don’t hate them. I just can’t be near them. I do enjoy observing them, though. There’s something about appreciating beauty that you can never have”.

“Since when are you a poet?” Rhys teased, earning a sharp glare from Cassian.

Cassian tried to quickly divert your attention “What’s your favorite flower?”

“Uhm, I do like many flowers. After all, they’re unique in their own way. But if I must choose, then y/f/f. What about you?”.

Cassian grinned awkwardly “Me? My favorite flower is also y/f/f. What a coincidence!” he chuckled, clearly lying but trying to play it off.

The evening continued pleasantly, and talking to Cassian made you forget about the tension and your worries. You didn’t want the night to end, but eventually it had to.

Cassian volunteered to escort you to the quarters you were staying in for the night. As the two of you walked down the dimly lit hallway, the air between you shifted. Silence hung heavy for longer than you had hoped, the only sounds being your footsteps echoing in the corridor.

Cassian glanced sideways at you, his lips parting slightly before he finally broke the silence “Will you be coming back soon?”

You hesitated, lowering your gaze to the floor as you walked“Oh, I don’t know. Your friends didn’t seem too keen on having me here.”

Cassian gently bumped your shoulder with his “Don’t worry about them. They’ll come around. Besides, Feyre was happy to see you… and I was glad to meet you” he admitted, his voice growing quieter at the last part.

You finally looked up, meeting his gaze “Really? You don’t think I’m Tamlin’s spy? Here to tell him everything about you?” you teased.

He chuckled lightly, shaking his head “No, Y/n. I don’t believe you’re a spy” he said softly, a subtle, almost shy smile playing on his lips.

You sighed, your smile fading as you reminded him “I still have my duties, just like you have yours.”

Cassian’s expression tightened briefly, his brow furrowing as he spoke again “Of course. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to push you” his hand twitched at his side, as though he wanted to reach for you but stopped himself.

“No, no. It’s fine. I’d like to come back soon” you reassured him quickly, offering a soft smile in return.

Cassian’s face brightened at your words, his eyes gleaming with hope “And I’d love that very much”.

“I believe this is my room” you averted his gaze again.

“Right, yes. Yes, it is. I bid you goodnight” he stepped back slightly, clearing his throat.

“Goodnight, Cassian” you whispered, lingering for a moment before closing the door behind you. As it clicked shut, you felt a spark ignite your heart, an unfamiliar lingering in your chest.

—

It had been a while since your last visit, and when Cassian heard you were coming, he couldn’t hide his excitement.

This time, Rhys insisted on picking you up, leaving Cassian a little disappointed. He paced the living area of the House of Wind, his wings twitching with nervous energy as he impatiently awaited your arrival. Every minute that passed seemed like an eternity.

“They’re taking too long, don’t you think?” Cassian turned abruptly to Azriel, who leaned casually against the doorway, arms crossed over his chest, watching his brother with a knowing smirk.

“Relax, Cassian. They’ll be here any minute now. What has gotten into you?” Azriel smirked, knowing exactly why his brother was behaving this way, yet he decided to tease him.

Cassian huffed, running a hand through his hair in frustration “Nothing. I- I- it just, you know how Rhys can be. What if he threatened her and she decided to go back?” his voice held a slight edge of panic as he considered every possible worst-case scenario.

“You worry too much, brother. I don’t think Rhys is going to threaten her. After all, she is Feyre’s friend. He’ll treat her as such… but with caution, of course. She does work for Tamlin” Azriel reminded.

Just then, you stepped into the room, awkwardly waving, with Rhysand close behind you “Hey.” Cassian’s heart skipped a beat at the sight of you and he found himself staring.

Azriel gave a polite nod, while Cassian blinked, finally snapping out of his daze.

“It’s been a while” you said with a smile, trying to ease the tension.

“Far too long” Cassian replied quickly, his words coming out in a rush. “I- I mean Feyre missed you. She wondered when you’d be back”.

“Was it Feyre or you, Cassian? Because I do recall you asking her every day if Y/n was coming soon” Rhys exposed him and you chuckled.

Cassian’s face flushed, and he stammered “I- it’s- I” He couldn’t find an excuse fast enough.

“I have something for you” you approached him and offered him y/f/f in a glass container “this way you can have it without your allergy acting up”.

Cassian’s eyes widened in surprise, his cheeks turning a deeper shade of red “You actually brought me y/f/f. This is brilliant. Thank you” he said, his voice flustered as he took the gift, holding it like it was the most precious thing he’d ever received.

Rhys, ever the instigator, smirked again “I believe this is the first time I’ve seen you blush, Cas”.

“Shut up. You’re just jealous you didn’t get a flower” Cassian shot back with a playful shrug. You shook your head, smiling to yourself. For scary males, they certainly acted like children. It was not what you imagined at all.

Time passed, and your visits to the Night Court became more frequent. What began as excuses to see Feyre evolved into something else- you found yourself coming back for Cassian. You timed your visits for moments you knew Feyre would be busy, relishing the chance to spend more time alone with him. Your friendship deepened, but neither of you dared to speak of the feelings that lingered beneath the surface.

This all changed one day, as the two of you strolled by the riverbank. Cassian noticed something different about you- your usual joy was absent, and the weight of something unsaid hung in the air.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, stopping in his tracks.

You stiffened at his question, turning your face away to avoid his gaze “Why would you think anything is wrong?” you snapped defensively.

Cassian’s expression softened with concern. He placed hus hands gently on your upper arms, forcing you to stop walking. His grip was light but steady as he tilted his head down to meet your eyes. “We’ve known each other for almost a year now. I think I know when something is bothering you” he said quietly, his voice laced with tenderness.

You winced at his touch, the sudden sound not going unnoticed. Cassian’s eyes narrowed as he lowered his gaze to your arm, his fingers brushing against the fabric of your sleeve “Y/n, what is wrong?” his eyes began scanning your body, searching for any sign of injury.

“It- it’s nothing. Let’s just go” you stammered, stepping back slightly. You knew that if he found out, this wasn’t going to end well.

“No. Stop, please. Come on, tell me what’s wrong. Don't shut me out” he begged, his eyes searching yours for any clue.

“It really is nothing. I just bumped into the wall” you lied and knew he wouldn’t believe it.

Cassian’s jaw clenched as he raised his hand toward the top of your sleeve, fingers lightly grazing your shoulder. “May I?” he asked, his voice gentle, but his eyes filled with a fierce protectiveness. You nodded reluctantly, and he carefully lowered the fabric, revealing the dark bruise on your upper arm.

“Y/n, this isn’t from bumping into a wall, is it?” his voice was dangerously calm.

“Let it be, Cassian.” You whispered, pulling your sleeve back up as you turned away.

“This is Tamlin’s work, isn’t it?” his voice trembled with barely restrained fury, and you could see him struggling to keep his emotions in check.

You sighed, unable to deny it. “And what if it was?”

Cassian’s nostrils flared, his jaw clenching so tightly you could almost hear the grind of his teeth “That fucking monster. I’m going to kill him” he hissed, his wings twitching in agitation behind him.

You immediately stepped forward, placing a hand on his chest to stop him. “You can’t!”

“Give me one good reason I shouldn’t”.

“I owe him my life” you said quietly, your voice barely above a whisper.

“Not anymore, you don’t. Not after what he’s done to you. Not after you’ve endured all these years by his side.”

Your throat tightened, and you shook your head, trying to make him understand “You don’t understand. Tamlin is not the monster you think he is. He didn’t do it on purpose, alright? He had one of his outbursts, a moment of rage. He didn’t mean to hurt me.”

“Now you’re finding excuses for him? He doesn’t deserve your love and kindness.” He reached out, his hand cupping your cheek gently.

You closed your eyes, leaning into his touch just for a moment before pulling away “That is for me to decide.”

“You can’t see it, can you? He is abusive. Look at what he did to Feyre. What he’s done to you. You say it was an accident, but what happens next time? What happens the next time he loses control? He needs to be stopped”.

“Please, you can’t go” you begged again, your voice breaking. You placed a hand on his arm, feeling the tension in his muscles.

“Why not?”

“You will disrupt the peace between the courts.”

“To hell with peace. I don’t care about any of that. He.Hurt.You.”

You reached up, cupping his face to calm him “Please, Cassian. If you're not going to do it for peace, then for my sake.”

Cassian’s eyes fluttered closed as he leaned into your touch, his shoulders sagging slightly Z the weight of his anger began to subside. He placed his hand over yours, holding it against his cheek as he exhaled slowly. “Alright, I won’t do anything. But you can’t go back to him.”

You shook your head slowly, knowing this was the moment you had been dreading “I have to.” You pulled your hand away from his cheek, stepping back.

Cassian reached for you instinctively, his hand grasping your arm gently as if to stop you “No, please don’t.”

You swallowed hard, the tears finally spilling over as you stood on your tiptoes and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. The world seemed to stop as his breath hitched, and his hands slid around your waist, pulling you closer. He kissed you back, his lips warm and tender against yours. One of his hands moved to the back of your neck, fingers threading through your hair as he deepened the kiss, as if trying to hold onto this moment for as long as he could.

When you finally pulled away, his forehead rested against yours, his breath mingling with yours. “Please stay” he whispered against your lips, his voice raw with emotion.

You closed your eyes, wanting nothing more than to say yes, but knowing you could ‘t. “I can’t.” You whispered, stepping back. His hands lingered on your waist before finally falling to his sides. “I must leave. I think it’s a good idea that I don’t visit for a while” you said, your heart breaking with every word.

“What? No, no. If it is because of what I said, then I’m sorry. I just-”.

You placed a hand on his cheek again, cutting him off gently. “Hey, it has nothing to do with you… I’ve been spending a lot of time here lately, that I’ve neglected my duties back home.” This was one way of saying it. The truth was, Tamlin started to get jealous that you were spending more time with Feyre at the Night Court. He felt left out and that triggered his fit of rage. But of course, you couldn’t tell Cassian that. So the best thing to do was to stop your visits for a while…or forever.

[atzaurora]

쉬다-𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒕

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

𝖿ᥲᥣᥣ ᥲsᥣᥱᥱ⍴ ᥕһіᥣᥱ і 𝖿ᥲᥣᥣ 𝖿᥆r ᥡ᥆ᥙ

𝒎𝒆𝒎𝒃𝒆𝒓: San

𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈: fem!idol!reader x idol!san

𝒕𝒚𝒑𝒆: imagine (fluff)

𝒓𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑: dating

.ᐟ.ᐟ𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔.ᐟ.ᐟ: none

𝒔𝒖𝒎𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒚: after a long day, you're both very exhausted and he lets you fall asleep on his lap, comforting you so you get some rest.

𝒘/𝒄: 976

𝒂/𝒏: i enjoyed writing this one! I'm proud of myself for coming up with that title ngl please let me know if you have any requests ^^

here's my 𝒎𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕!

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

the day had been long, filled with back-to-back schedules, rehearsals, and performances. as an idol, the fast-paced life was something you had grown accustomed to, but today had been especially exhausting. you were grateful, though, for the unwavering support of your group members and, most importantly, your boyfriend, San. although your relationship was a well-kept secret known only to the other members of Ateez, it was a source of immense comfort and joy.

the car ride back from the company to the dorms was quiet, with most of the members either dozing off or lost in their own thoughts. San sat beside you, his hand subtly intertwined with yours, hidden beneath a jacket. his touch was warm, and it grounded you after a hectic day.

"we're almost home," he whispered, his voice soft yet comforting. you nodded, leaning your head on his shoulder. just a few more minutes, and you could finally relax.

as the car pulled into the familiar parking lot of the dorm building, everyone slowly began to stir. you all shuffled out, making your way up to your respective floors.

"goodnight, everyone," you said to the other members as you parted ways in the after going into the dorm. they all went to their own room, most of them heading straight to sleep. you quickly made your way into the kitchen, where San was waiting for you.

"hey, y/n," he greeted you with a tired but genuine smile. "ready to relax?"

"more than ready," you replied, taking his hand as he led you inside.

the Ateez dorm was quiet, only the sounds of soft snoring or rumbling in the bathroom could be heard now, an unusual feeling, since there was always someone being overly hyped and making a lot of noises.

San guided you to the living room, where he had already set up a cozy corner with soft blankets and pillows. "come on, let's get comfortable," he said, pulling you down onto the couch beside him. you sank into the cushions, feeling the day's stress begin to melt away.

San reached for the remote and turned on the TV, tuning into a light-hearted drama that was perfect for unwinding. as the episode played, you couldn't help but feel your eyelids grow heavy. San's presence was soothing, and the rhythmic rise and fall of his breathing was like a lullaby.

"San," you murmured, trying to fight the sleepiness that was overtaking you. "thank you for being here."

He looked down at you, his eyes filled with warmth and affection. "always, y/n. now, just rest. you've had a long day."

you didn't need any more convincing. you shifted slightly, resting your head on his lap. San adjusted the blanket over you, his fingers gently stroking your hair. the sensation was so calming that within moments, you were drifting off to sleep.

San continued to watch the drama, his attention split between the screen and the peaceful sight of you sleeping. he smiled softly, looking at your features. god, how he admired you. if you would be awake right now to see the way he looked at you, there'd be no need to ever doubt what this man felt for you ever again. it's like he fell for you all over again.

time seemed to blur as you slept, the comforting presence of San grounding you in a way nothing else could. occasionally, you would stir slightly, and San would soothe you with gentle whispers and soft touches.

"shh, it's okay, y/n. just sleep," he would murmur, his voice like a balm to your tired soul.

eventually, the drama ended, and San turned off the TV, not wanting to disturb your slumber. he sat quietly, his thoughts filled with gratitude for the bond you shared. he knew how challenging it was to maintain a relationship in your world, but moments like these made it all worthwhile.

as the night wore on, the other members tiptoed around, giving you and San the space you needed. they respected your relationship and often marveled at the strong connection you two shared despite the demands of your careers.

after what felt like hours, you began to stir, slowly waking up to the feeling of San's hand still gently caressing your hair. you blinked, disoriented for a moment before remembering where you were.

"hey," you whispered, looking up at him. "how long was I out?"

"not too long," he replied with a smile. "just enough to recharge a bit. how do you feel?"

"better," you admitted, sitting up and stretching. "I didn't realize how tired I was."

San chuckled, his eyes crinkling with affection. "that's what I'm here for, to help you relax and take care of you."

you leaned in and kissed his cheek, your heart swelling with love. "thank you, San. I don't know what I'd do without you."

he pulled you into a gentle embrace, resting his chin on top of your head. "and I don't know what I'd do without you, y/n. I love you."

you stayed like that for a while, simply enjoying the warmth and comfort of each other's presence.

after a while, San suggested getting ready for bed. "we still have another busy day tomorrow. let's get some proper rest."

you nodded, standing up and stretching again. San led you to the bathroom where you took turns washing up and getting ready for bed. once you were both in your pajamas, you walked into San's bedroom where the bed was already calling your name.

San settled down beside you, pulling the blankets up over both of you. he wrapped his arms around you, and you snuggled into his chest, feeling safe and content.

"goodnight, y/n," he whispered, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead.

"goodnight, San," you replied, closing your eyes and letting the comfort of his embrace lull you back to sleep.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

[darby-rowe]

PILEDRIVER !

sejanus plinth x fem!District 2!reader summary when you and sejanus get the opportunity to relive your days of amateur backyard wrestling while growing up in district two, things get... well, compromising.

word count 2.5k cw childhood best friends to lovers, the inherent eroticism of wrestling, awkward boner, reader makes the first move, first kiss, cunnilingus, confident sej, p in v, unprotected sex, sej has a big dick, petnames, dirty talk, flexible reader, piledriver position, y/n usage, pulling out, not proofread notes based off of my personal headcanon that district two quickly became filled to the brim with underground fighting/wrestling rings after it was named panem's newest military hotspot after district 13 got its shit obliterated. and i was always obsessed with the idea of a district two character who was heavily involved with these rings, so i decided to "soften" up the idea a little bit by just making reader the type of child who wrestled w/ her family and friends as a little girl. thought this concept was super cute and i hope yall do too! also for anyone who's wondering, sej and reader are supposed to be doing catch wrestling, but i also combined moves from collegiate wrestling and pro wrestling :) so yeah!!

Growing up in District 2, you swiftly grew familiar with back alley tussling as your home district quickly became Panem’s military hotspot after the first rebellion. It seemed as if your entire childhood consisted of backyard amateur wrestling and secret underground fighting rings in which you constantly found yourself getting wound up in.

By the time your family bought themselves a place within the Capitol, you already had a well rounded history of getting broken and bruised by friends, family, and complete strangers. And the thing was that you loved it. You loved stepping inside a poorly made ring and roughin’ it out with your siblings or cousins.

And your parents sure could afford the medical bills after all your broken bones!

So when you were forced to pack up and leave for the Capitol, you were heartbroken to have to transition into a life of high class uppity scumbags – with the exception of your best friend, Sejanus Plinth, whom you felt was your only source of comfort among the sea of self-important snakes.

One late night, Sejanus came to you with bright eyes and grinning lips, eager to show you what he had found. “Oh, and make sure you bring a sports bra, gym shorts, and some good shoes,” he had said before you two went off. Of course you didn’t object to a tiny adventure with your best friend, so you followed him through the quiet streets of the Capitol towards a run-down building that smelled of mold and old rubber. When you stepped inside, your heart swelled with nostalgic joy, and your eyes nearly overflowed with tears.

“Sej,” you gasped as your eyes fell upon the abandoned gym. Sure, it was a fixer-upper, but it was more than perfect for just the two of you. All of the punching bags and weight-racks were right where they were left, but the most important thing in the room were the big circles in the middle of the room.

You looked back at Sejanus with a look of pure gratitude. “How’d you find this place?”

He shrugged his shoulders, his brown doe eyes sparkling with delight. “I may or may not have pulled a few strings,” he teased. God bless Strabo and Ma Plinth, you thought. “Now, enough talk – you up for some old fashioned catch-as-catch-can?”

•❅───✧❅✦❅✧───❅•

The amount of time this gym must have been abandoned concerned you a bit, making you feel that if you took a big enough breath you’d be a walking incarnate of tuberculosis for the next year. But the two of you didn’t plan on staying long, as trespassing could land you a good few nights in jail. And you and Sejanus being district, that was the last thing you two needed to be added to your permanent records.

You made sure to stretch your body, making sure all your muscles were warmed up deeply before locking up with Sejanus. And him, with his big strong arms, you realized that your body was the only thing warmed up tonight.

“I’m a lover, not a fighter,” Sejanus teased, wounding up his arms in large circles. “I’ll make sure to go easy on you, darling,”

“You think I can’t take you down, big boy?” you challenged, cracking your neck and knuckles. “I’ve done it before, remember?”

“Yeah, when we were five,” Sejanus countered, adding a small chuckle to his words.

There wasn’t a referee, nor a bell or a whistle, so you two shook hands and squatted down as you circled each other. The fingers of your hands slightly ghosted each other, teasing each other at the same time of who was going to grapple who first. The two of you then locked up in a collar and elbow tie-up, your hand grasping the back of his neck as you pulled him in for a standing headlock. You tightly secured Sejanus’s head into the pocket of your forearm as his hands felt around your waist. His strength overtook yours as he pushed himself out of the lock, and you couldn’t help yourself but lightly gasp as he pulls in for a standing headlock of his own and takes you down to the ground with a takeover. The feeling of your body flipping forwards onto your back makes you dizzy for just a second, opening your eyes to see Sejanus’s smiling face looking down straight at you.

“Thought you were gonna go easy on me,” you teased, panting from the combination of sudden movements.

Sejanus still has his arms wrapped around your head, also panting. “Change of heart, I guess,”

You huffed out a puff of air out of your mouth in a chuckle. “What a gentleman,” you locked your hands around his torso and pushed yourself into a bridge, using your strength to roll him over onto his stomach to lay him out prone. You let out embarrassingly loud grunts of effort as Sejanus was larger than you, which made him start laughing as you now laid over his body, hands still wrapped around him. “Shut up, Sej,”

“What? It’s cute,” he responded from under you.

You slowly released your hands from around his already clammy torso and stood back up on your feet, stretching your body once more to prepare for round two. “You didn’t even pin me,” Sejanus said with a tinge of confusion in his voice.

“It’s not like we’re actually doing a match together,” you told him. “What? You wanna do one for real this time?”

Sejanus twisted his body at the waist, knocking out all the kinks in his muscles. “I thought we were doing it for real?”

“Well now we can, grizzly bear,” your voice was almost a purr as you stretched out your arms at the ready. Grizzly bear? The nickname confused him, so you took the momentary distraction to two-step into a double-leg takedown. When he was on his back, you flipped your body over in a jackknife pin, but the sheer swiftness of Sejanus betrayed you.

Sejanus used the strength of his legs to roll you onto the backs of your shoulders, your arms pinned down by his legs, and knees hooked on his shoulders. You were unable to kick out by the time the three seconds were up.

“Nice,” you commented, panting as you looked up at his sweaty face from your compromising position.

“Should say the same to you,” he responded, letting you roll yourself backwards onto your knees. “Another round, darling?”

You got up onto your feet, but before you could agree to another round, you found yourself being tackled onto the ground below and folded in half. Sejanus had your arms pinned down over your head, and your knees were basically parallel with your cheeks.

And you felt the unmistakable feeling of Sejanus’s hard erection pressed against your ass.

Sejanus had you pinned down for more than the 3-second count, and he still hadn’t let you go. You blushed, eyes scanning over his sweaty form dominating over you. What do you even say in a situation like this?

You always thought Sejanus was cute. You watched him grow up alongside you and turn into an extremely handsome young man. He grew into his muscular stature, his brown curls became more defined, his brown doe eyes only grew dreamier.

And now here you were, folded in half like a damn pretzel, and he was hard.

“You’re, um…” you wet your lips awkwardly. “You–... you’re hard, Sej,”

You felt guilt well up inside your chest as Sejanus’s face seemed to drop with embarrassment. Fuck, now you felt like an asshole. “Oh… oh, Y/N, I’m so sorry–”

“Hey, hey, no,” you cooed, trying to put his worries at ease. You reached up and brushed a stray curl from his sweaty face. “No apologies, Sej. Don’t worry,”

Sejanus crawled away from on top of you, letting your body unfold itself, giving your ribcage and your other internal organs a break. You pulled yourself up into a sitting position where Sejanus had one knee folded up towards his chest and his other leg flat on the dusty wrestling mat.

You sat there in silence, thinking of what your next move could possibly be. Should you apologize for pointing out Sejanus’s erection? It seemed as if no matter what you chose to say, it was only going to make the situation worse.

So instead, you said fuck it, and chose not to say anything at all as you grabbed Sejanus’s face and pulled him in for a kiss. You felt his big hands find purchase on your shoulders, as if the initial shock was going to make him fall over.

The taste of his plump, warm lips slotting themselves against yours sent goosebumps down your back, and when you pulled away for a breather, only a few words were exchanged before you two went back at it.

“Are you sure?” Sejanus mumbled against your lips.

“Please,” you whispered. And that was all that needed to be said.

It didn’t take long before you had Sejanus trailing open-mouthed kisses down your stomach and down towards the waistline of your shorts, hooking his fingers beneath the waistband and pulling them down to reveal your plain, cotton panties. Even in the darkness of the abandoned gym, he could still pinpoint the dark spot of your wetness, teasingly circling his thumb on the area. You inhaled sharply. You were already so sensitive. You blamed it on the previous exertion of energy you shared with Sejanus and, well, also the fact that Sejanus’s face was mere inches away from your pussy.

He swiftly pulled off your panties and leaned down to deliver one kitten lick to your clit, making you gasp softly. You could tell that your reaction made the boy smirk, adding to his confidence.

In a matter of seconds you were reduced to a mewling, moaning mess as the curly-haired boy devoured your clit – licking, sucking, slurping up your juices like a man who had been starving for days. The sheer sound of Sejanus’s mouth sucking at your pussy made you blush, and admittedly, you were even a little embarrassed at how wet you were.

You whined at the feeling of his mouth’s absence from your pussy, only to feel his hand lightly grab your face to force you to look at him.

“Wanna see your pretty face, please?” he cooed, and you nodded obediently, earning you his mouth back on your swollen clit. You cried out with delight, placing both of your hands on your breasts and squeezing them.

“So good…” you mewled, your legs beginning to squirm from your increasing pleasure. The knot in your stomach neared its unraveling, until you were once again folded in half, your pussy hovering above you at a near 90-degree angle.

Sejanus’s mouth never left your clit as he lifted your body over itself. Your fingernails dug deep into the mat, your eyes focused solely on Sejanus’s mouth and tongue on your lips and bud. But before you could finally arrive at your orgasm, he stopped abruptly.

You pouted pathetically up at him, whimpering. “Sej,”

He reached a hand down to softly caress the side of your face, his thumb tracing circles on your flushed cheeks. You could see the way his wet mouth shined in the dim light of the gym, licking his lips to taste the remnants of your essence.

“I wanna fuck you so bad, baby,” The way Sejanus was practically begging you had your stomach doing backflips. “Please? Please?”

In what world would you ever say no?

You pawed at Sejanus’s big arms as you nodded up at him, mumbling phrases like, “Please fuck me,” and “Want you inside me, baby,”

Your mouth watered as he freed his hard cock from his shorts, eyes widening at how big he was. Sejanus most likely caught on to your worried face as he quickly made sure to ease your worries. “I’ll be gentle, darling, don’t worry,” he murmured, slipping his cock in between your wet pussy lips. You gasped at his teasing, biting your lip as the tip of his cock pushed against your clit so well. “Breathe, baby,” he sighed, positioning the head of his dick at your tight, wet entrance and slowly lowering himself into you.

You inhaled sharply as the thickness of his cock stretched you open, the two of you groaning simultaneously at the new sensations. Sejanus was slow and cautious at first, but you could tell he wanted so badly to thrust himself inside of you and pound into the mat.

“So big…” you whispered, earning another low groan from the boy above you. When your walls finally stopped resisting against his size, Sejanus began to slowly lift himself up and back down inside you, earning beautiful melodic moans from your mouth.

You hooked your arms around your legs to keep you in this rather compromising position, but the way the curly-haired boy looked two seconds away from pistoning his cock inside you had you salivating. You looked up at him, batting your eyelashes and mumbling how good he felt, how big he was, how pretty he looked. You relished in the sight of him blushing at your dirty praises.

Sejanus’s hands found their place on your thighs to help him quicken his thrusts, and the faster he moved inside you, the louder your moans became. You felt his balls slap against your ass, the skin of his thighs colliding with yours, and his moans – ugh, his moans – you couldn’t get enough of his sounds of pure ecstasy.

“Your pussy feels so good,” he panted, looking down at your blissed out face. And for a moment, you two smiled at each other, just happy to be in this moment together.

Your hands reached up to grab at his forearms as you felt the knot in your stomach near its unraveling once more. “Gonna cum, baby,” you moaned. “Gonna cum all over your cock,”

Sejanus expedited the arrival of your orgasm by taking his thumb and circling your clit, and in a matter of moments you were crying and babbling your way as your walls tightened and pulsated around his dick. The sheer explosion of pleasure had you seeing spots behind your eyelids, gritting your teeth and growling as the boy above you didn’t slow down his thrusts.

As your high came down, Sejanus’s high was approaching as he quickly lifted himself out of you and swiftly started stroking his cock until he was spurting thick, white ropes all over your pussy. You closed your eyes dreamily as you listened to the beautiful sounds of his groans as his cock shot out large amounts of cum all over you.

You unfolded your body and brought your hand up to your chest to feel your heartbeat, breathing heavily as the intensity of your activities wound down. You felt Sejanus lay his large body on top of you, and you instinctively wrapped your arms around him and held him close, kissing the top of his head.

And in a last ditch effort to be the comedian of the moment, Sejanus said one last thing before the two of you cleaned yourselves up and headed home.

“Good hustle,” he mumbled, earning a wheeze from you and a tiny slap to his bicep.

“Shut the fuck up, Sej,”

tagging @spideyhexx — a late bday gift from me to you. ♡

dividers by cafekitsune

[dunmeshi-darlings]

Hey i love your blog thank you for doing these imagines!

Can i request an half dragon beastkin reader x Izutsumi? Maybe they found them chained up somewhere in the dungeon and laios and them set them free?

Of course dear anon, and congratulations on being my first izutsumi focused ask

The dungeon held many secrets in its labyrinthian halls, Secrets of magic ancient and powerful, Secrets of Shady Deals among less than savory criminals, Secrets of viscious monsters, Secrets of life and death, But some secrets....were much darker than others.

As the group was travelling they heard a strange sound, it sounded like a person in trouble so they followed the sound to its source. It was a iron gate in the ground with a chain on it, around the gate were the bodies of various criminals who seemingly had been killed by an orc raid. As chilchuck and izutsumi listened they heard labored breathing and quickly laios broke open the lock on the chain as they opened the door, there eyes widening at what they saw

A beastkin looked up at them, They had hard reptile scales that covered there body, large clawed hands and feet scraped at the stone floor as a large tail moved behind them, large horns adorning the figures head. You looked up squinting your eyes and covering them, it had been so long since you had seen light.

Izutsumi was the first to notice, large chains were wrapped around your limbs and neck keeping you trapped in place. At first nobody moved, afraid that you were some sort of criminal or were dangerous. Laios asking you why you were down here, you explained that the thugs outside kept you chaine dup down here to show off to other people as a freakshow for coin, normally they would be guarding the gate but you heard them get attacked by orcs and they all must have died. You honestly figured you were going to die in this whole, left to starve to death.

Before anyone could react izutsumi grabbed chilchuck and jumped down into the hole. She put the half-foot down and told him to pick the locks on the chains to get you out now! everyone was surprised at how urgent she sounded, marcille asking what was going on with her. She scowls saying she know what its like to be shown off like a freak and she isnt going to let anyone deal with that.

Everyone agrees and chilchuck picks the locks as you feel the weight of the chains slide off you, you stand up showing just how tall you were compared to everyone else, cracking your neck as you breathed a sigh of joy at your newfound freedom. You tell laios your in there debt and want to help them on there adventure to save his sister, and you join them from then on.

You got along well with everyone in the group, of course laios kept asking you questions about being half dragon but you didnt mind. But it was izutsumi you seemed to be the closest with, She often spent her time being near you. The two of you chatting and talking about being beastkin. Her explaining how it was forced on her when she was a little child and cant remember anything before it. Normally she wouldnt talk about this with anyone...but your different, you get what she has been through, and she feels more comfortable with you than anyone else. You put your hand on her shoulder and comfort her telling her that your sorry she has gone through all this, and that hopefully you guys can find a cure for this curse on her.

You two began to grow closer, She moved from sleeping in the same cot as chilchuck to sleeping with you in your cot. Her commenting how your body is alot warmer than chilchuck and your perfect to lay on top of and fall asleep on. Whenever she falls asleep on top of you, you cant help but put one arm around her and drift off to sleep rather quickly, since she started doing this you have never slept better.

Whenever senshi cooks food she is always sneaking the bits she doesnt like into your portions of food, now having a place to dump the veggies she doesnt like. You are always more than happy to eat them for her, and in return you let her have some of the stuff she does like from your food. you two basically sharing food portions together.

The two of you are incredibly protective of each other, any time the group fights a monster you two are close by each other. Fighting in unison and defeating the monsters that the mad mage sends after you. And when either of you gets hurt, the other one cant relax until whoever got hurt is better. Izutsumi tries to play it off, but her tail will constantly flick as she sits next to you as marcille heals you up.

One night when you two are laying together, Izutsumi is up much later than she usually is. You could tell she was tense about something so you ask her if everything is ok. she hesitates for a moment before speaking up. "yeah it is...its better than ok, thats the problem. Ever since i met you i just...ive never felt like this before you know? ive never really cared about anyone else but myself, after all im the only one thats ever been there for me all my life...but its different with you. I cant stop thinking about you, i worry about you when you get hurt...and i hate not being around you. But it makes my chest feel tight and my head fuzzy when im around you and i keep smiling, im not used to this and i dont know what is going on. Im not used to it and...im scared, ive never felt like this and its so weird to me...i really like it..but it feels so weird i just..." She trails off, her tail flittering as she hides her face in your chest, even through her fur you can feel her blush. "i think i really like you...i really like you alot. But im scared, ive never liked anyone like this before and im scared cause im so used to just being by myself that....that the idea of being with another person all the time and relying on another person scares me, but i really want to be with you, even the idea of depending on another person scares me,but if i dont say anything its going to keep eating me alive.." she said looking up at you, You look at her stunned for a moment. This was unlike her, izutsumi was never one to be open about her emotions. She always did what she wanted and didnt care about what anyone else thought, she was a self reliant woman and other than with you she was never really the friendliest person ever. So to see her being so open with her feelings, being open about her fear and being so vulnerable was something you never expected from her.

You squeeze her tight towards you, your tail wrapping up with hers as as you place a soft kiss on her forehead. you tell her that you feel the same about her. That you love her and the idea of being with her is something you have dreamed of, and that you want nothing more than to always be there for her. You promise her that you will always be there for her and she never has to deal with the world by herself anymore.

[tarotwithdanise]

15 changes and blessings that will happen to your July

༉ ‧ ₊ ˚ how to choose a pile? ✧ . ˚

꒰⠀from left to right ; intuitively choose the pile your mind, heart and soul desire for. if you are having trouble choosing the right pile for you, here’s some tips you can do ; (1) take a deep breath (2) close your eyes (3) ask guidance from your guides (4) finally open your eyes and you can choose the right pile for you by the guidance you ask from your guides. if you are still having trouble by choosing the right pile for you let me know because i am willing to help and guide you.

1 - 2 - 3

SOURCE AND CREDITABLE : All of the pictures are collected and downloaded from pinterest , I don’t own any of them but credits goes to the rightful owners however edits goes and the reading itself belong to me. Expect grammatical errors with this reading, bear with it because english isn't my mother tongue.

💌 check out my back-up account @melodicbloom bio ; click the link, choose your favorite deals that you wanted to purchase and then send all of them to my email account (daniseallure@gmail.com)

PILE ONE

New energy shifting for your spiritual gifts and abilities.

Your whole family will be protected and watched by God and Angels.

Commitment to a new relationship. Meeting new people in person not online nor virtual.

Joining a spiritual or religious groups.

Old things and something that will remind you of your past will bring attraction to you this month. It's the perfect to work on them, if you haven't in before.

Collecting memories or vintages stuffs.

Your spiritual path is growing, you are now open and recognizing the truth and will soon uncover them.

A confession from S, T or J.

Allowing yourself this time to be feel supported by others and be their supporter as well.

A new positive outlook for the future and present.

Old debt is about to be paid off.

Someone will get married or attending a marriage celebration.

Practicing new languages and instruments.

A birth of a child is a blessing in disguise. Can be starting something new again.

Be patience about what you are asking, you might not able to see it's result this month.

PILE TWO

A big responsibility for yourself to your own family.

A great personal recognition and a positive solution for a problem.

Inheritance or a great fortune for a family.

A blazing love for platonic and familial one.

Moving on from a heartbreak, pain or shocking attack and dating and meeting someone new.

Surprise invitation or meeting from someone. Love is coming for the next months.

Visiting places which is reminding you of your childhood.

July 6 is the most important date. Can miracles and blessings is about to enter in your life.

A dream clarification about a situation.

Influencing others through words and actions.

For spiritual gifts and abilities, you are about to uncover the things about these abilities and gifts.

Big incomes for business and jobs.

A shy person, pretty and psychic is about to reach out to you to ask for your advice.

Redeeming yourself and following what your heart desiring.

Leaving an unhealthy situation.

PILE THREE

Forgiveness, a color green is significant for this pile.

A stabber will caught on act.

Sweet words or actions from a Pisces.

New hobbies, career and friendship is about to shift for your own good.

Exchange something from a true friend.

A dark night will soon to revealed a bright dawn.

Travelling and meeting an old friend.

A letter or message from someone will bring so much joy for you.

Gaining physical and emotional strength.

Openness for good luck and positivity.

Facing a stressful situation or decision.

Healing from fears and traumas.

Travelling from one place to another.

Being ready to change themselves and determine to put themselves away from toxic addction.

Starting believing at oneself.

[wheeboo]

seventeen as wave to earth songs

FEATURING. seventeen (ot13) GENRE. headcanons WARNINGS. none WORD COUNT. 1.3k

notes: i thought n wrote this within the hours of 3-4 am because my brain couldn’t fight the urge even tho no one asked for this lmao ;; im blaming this seungkwan edit on tiktok that conspired me to do this. a lot of ppl have prob done this but this is my take (some of them were HARD) :') honestly any of these can be switched around

choi seungcheol as calla

the first word i associated with this song is "devotion", and my mind immediately thought of cheol. he is the definition of loyalty and puts in his all when it comes to love and towards whoever his calla will be. he has the power of reassurance and hope, and this can also be interpreted vice versa will cheol being the "calla" of the relationship--the one who may be withering away inside, so he needs that other half to supply him with the rain that he needs to grow

"But Calla, you can always grow back, oh If you don't have enough sunlight I'll blow the clouds away, Calla Bloom yourself until the end"

yoon jeonghan as daisy.

jeonghan as daisy just MAKES SENSE?? he is the splash of colour within a simplistic life, a constant source of happiness even in the most mundane situations. i just love the vibrant feels of this song and it makes me imagine a scenario of running down the beach holding hands with him. seeing his presence just never fails to brighten up my day up, and its just a very comforting song in general which reminds me sm of him

"Oh, daisy, it's my happiness to run into you Life always goes on and on But, I'll live with you forever So, be my daisy"

joshua hong as bad

the instrumentals of the song gives me joshua vibes. and just like the lyrics, how can the sight of joshua's smile/just him in general not make your day even better? for some reason i also had an imagination of him serenading someone with this song plsss, it would be so swoonworthy to hear that. its such a romantic song abt finding joy and happiness in your loved one, and i think joshua has a lot of love inside of him

"How could my day be bad when I'm with you? You're the only one who makes me laugh So how can my day be bad? It's a day for you"

wen junhui as light

the constant mention of the moon and the sky just gives me jun energy. i don't know if the word quirky is the right word to call this song (probably not, now that i think abt it, maybe more calm) but its a word i would definitely describe jun with. he's always a person who tries his best to shine as much as he could and he's just someone you can rely on yk

"You are my sea, you are my sunshine The star, the moon"

kwon soonyoung as pink

this song is just very... freeing and nostalgic? and it reminds of me soonyoung where everything just feel so liberating and free when it comes to being with him. his spirit just seems to rid of any worries just so easily, and it kind of reminds me of the sunset, where the colour pink is shown, and just like the song says- it's such a beautiful colour just like him

"During the sunset The pink light is clear It drew you, the beautiful you Your image" (translation may not be accurate because it's in full korean)

jeon wonwoo as seasons

someone had to be seasons and it was such a hard choice of who to give this song to but ultimately, i picked wonwoo. this song is just so bittersweet and melancholic. it holds so many heartfelt emotions inside of it but also so many unhappy emotions as well. it displays vulnerability and how that kind of feeling can feel burdensome to those around you and overall, i feel like he is the more perfect choice for this song tbh

"Oh my life is fallin' apart Maybe no one will notice if I disappear But I'll pray for you all the time If I could be by your side I'll give you all my life, my seasons"

lee jihoon as wave

i absolutely adore the instrumentals of this song sm. it's about embracing the unknown with someone special and i feel like the kinda fits with jihoon very well. i just love the symbolism of waves and stars in the song and how it symbolises this desire to adventure and traverse thru the unknown. i also think jihoon is very introspective n knowing that nothing lasts forever, but with the wave being mentioned that will last forever just,, perfectly contrasts with that? this was a bit hard to explain asljkdlas n made more sense in my head

"When you spoke to me, The words are like a floating star Now I'm next to you The waves will take us far away"

xu minghao as ride

the lyrics of the song is basically describing someone else being your safe space, and i definitely think minghao is that. he is the type of person whose presence is an easy source of comfort to whatever sort of emotional baggage one may hold. he's simply just the definition of the word comfort and to me, is what this song gives

"I'm on a ride Ride You are my city Everything"

kim mingyu as peach eyes

mingyu is just the type of person whose eyes seem to hold SO MUCH love or appear so lovestruck? or just him in general tbh--he just seems to hold so much love and is willing to dump that all for the person he adores w all his life. like eyes can carry so much within them istg. this song is also more on the cheery and upbeat side and i definitely think that resonates w the type of person that he is

"Peach eyes and blue skies It's on the moonlight, how many songs I write You'll be my sunlight, how could I not rely On you, peach eyes?"

lee seokmin as sunny days

the sun = seokmin hello?? i love the description of nature in this song and it reminds me of walking in the park on a sunny afternoon with him and it's just so perfect, like how everything is just so insignificant without the presence of the other person aka him. it's a golden type of love where it doesn't waver even as time goes by, and i can definitely see that with seokmin

"You are my golden age Evеrything shines so bright That my eyes go blind Our youth never ages here"

boo seungkwan as love.

this is my favourite wave to earth song btw. it may just be me being very biased but listening to the song while thinking of him just FITS him? the song is literally abt the strength of love thru hardships, being someone with a fragile heart, and reminds me of those types of hugs where it just feels... right? like everything is simply okay? the song makes me ascend each time i listen to it on full blast, and boo never fails to make me ascend with not just his voice, but his care and the amount of love he carries in himself, his strength, just HIM

"My little heart too Like small waves in it Broken and pushed back Melting into you Only then can I see my eternity" (translation may not be accurate because it's in full korean)

vernon chwe as so real

the instrumentals in this song esp at the end are so superior btw. other than that, despite the calm vibes this song emits just like vernon, it's also a song about feeling stuck, about being lost in your emotions. not that i'm assuming vernon is feeling this way, but in general, it reminds me of that feeling being alone in your own world which i think suits him with this song more than others

"I can't explain Where I'm buried now An empty vein You'll never understand"

lee chan as surf.

this song has such an uplifting and upbeat vibe and it's about enjoying the time that you have, even though it's temporary, and living in the moment spending time with yourself and also those that you love as well. the lyrics make me smile so much, and i definitely think chan fits the song very well because i def think he has this power to charge others (like his members) with energy just by being himself

"Dance my babe, dance my friends We don't have much time to enjoy Just sing it my babe Bigger than you ever did We don't have much time to enjoy Our time will be gone someday But I'm okay Life is like surfin' anyway"

taglist (open) ʚɞ @enhazen @haowrld @ylliris-hanniehae @icyminghao @slytherinshua @jeonride @lockburn-castle @vrnism @weird-bookworm @mhlsymlysn @ryuwonieebae

[graytodd]

Hi, hello (,, ･∀･)ﾉ゛!! Just wanted to write and tell you what a joy your art is; it's absolutely gorgeous and always so lovely to see! ♡♡♡ Also, I was wondering if you have any favorite dickjay tropes or headcanons? Your dynamic of them in your art is always so appealing so I'm very 👀 !! about any thoughts you have (୨୧ ❛ᴗ❛)✧

Hi !! thanks for this message, you're my favorite writer and let's face it, the only dickjay juicy source here ~ thank you for inspiring me daily ! and thanks for appreciate my art, it really means a lot to me 🙏 I do love drawing dickjay, especially soft/cuddling tropes, trying to catch an hidden romantic/sexual tension between the lines. I try my best lol I'd say that my favorite tropes/headcanons are mainly based on the introspection into their dynamics and the misunderstanding! hate to lovers fits them so well ❤ come on, they do not 'hate' each other: Dick was an only son who finds himself to be the older brother and mentor of a little punk lol when his attraction to jaybin grows to such an extent that Dick feels like a deviant, a creep, he pushes Jay away and loses him definitely (at least he thinks that). A good one is also Dick losing it over Jay from your #monstrous!dick grayson agenda // Self-control is a characteristic of Dick's character, getting his hands dirty for Jay, beating the shit out of Joker and challenging B's authority, must mean a lot. Dick being a jealous, possessive shit! the urge to remind people he is the only one who can take care of Jay, the only one allowed to cuddle, kiss, fuck his little wing and Jay inexperienced (a virgin? maybe??) in dating, too focused on anger and revenge after returning as Red Hood to worry about sex, which was never his priority until he met Dick again, and memories and desires have resurfaced; from his huge crush on a young!Dick when baby!Jay saw him at the circus, to Dick as mentor to become Robin ❤❤❤ I refuse to think of bottom!dick, because Richard Grayson is the most experienced, cocky, sensual man Jason has ever dealt with. Jason just acts like it, flirting back with sarcasm without pushing himself too far: many are his insecurities, his desire to be loved presses as much as his fear to open up, which is why I can't imagine Jay randomly hooking up with strangers, especially women !! I like to think hookers as those who Jay occasionally chat with, to feel some 'motherly affection' he never had as a child. Yes, I am dramatic af. I've many other tropes I love about dickjay, like age gap !! Jay is a baby ;w: and must be protected and pampered by proud daddy!Dick hu-hu and there's also something about Dick's perfectionism and the pressure to achieve those too-high-standards he set for himself to become 'the hero' that fascinates me! maybe his failed relationships are also due to his fear of being judged, seen as who he is, as a man who considers sexual chemistry too important in a relationship. But Jay is free from these imposed constraints, free to be and Dick admires him for this (and wants to be free, like with him huhu) I went on a bit too long, maybe lol I'm not a good writer but I hope I was able to explain my intentions whenever I draw dickjay ❤

[lyraeon]

A while back I learned something important from my therapist, and since I was trying to recount it anyway to share with a friend, I thought I would bring it to y'all as well.

We have all had at least one of those days where we've stayed up way too late doing something fun but we just don't want to stop doing it. Logically I figured that's just because "well yeah I don't want to stop, I have to go to sleep then to work and those suck compared to it."

Except then that starts happening often and you feel bad about always staying up every night, but then you feel worse and get more stressed because you know you're doing something you're "not supposed to", but because you're more stressed you want more fun time... endless cycle.

But as I was talking about it all and told her I thought I was self-sacrificing, the therapist had a very useful question for me:

"How do you normally know it's time to stop having fun? Like you know it's time to finish work because your shift's over, you know it's time to stop doing the dishes when they're all done or the washer's full, what is your signal to stop having fun?"

And I had to search for a while to answer.

"When the activity is done" - okay sure, but many games and books and series, or doing your own creative thing, "done" may take days upon days or even be non-existent.

"When I had to pass the controller" - obvious and easy one! If you knew you had a finite turn then the defined end is readily there, and you're also prepared for it! But requires pre-arranging the limits.

"When I got in trouble for it" - ding ding ding, we found the big problem.

When you grow up with "fun" being a forbidden activity you're only allowed to do after everything else is done to 100% perfection, then you learn to sneak it in where you can fit it. And you need that shit, seriously - you cannot get through life without some source of enjoyment, some tiny glimmer of joy among the tedium.

Many of us learned to read under the covers, or to play our gameboy in the bathroom and hide it under the sink, or that we could get away with running around the backyard for another 20 minutes if we just learned which intonation of "come inside" was the actual trouble line, or whatever other ways to cram in as much joy as we could before the hammer came down, for whatever severity that meant in your house.

And so that feeling of "I shouldn't be doing this, I'm going to get caught, but if I'm going to get in trouble anyway I might as well get as much out of this as I can" becomes part of what you expect to feel when you're having fun. And you only know how to stop having fun when you feel that way when you get in trouble for it - and in absence of anyone else controlling your behavior, that means the bad guy becomes either whatever task pops up to remind you responsibilities exist, or your significant other pointing out it's really late and they wish you'd come to bed, or your boss yelling at you for being tired all the time... or it becomes you.

If you don't learn that fun isn't a forbidden activity, if you stay stuck in the mindset that it's something you have to cram in in secret and hide that you're even doing? It becomes so so easy to hate the voice of reason in your head that's trying to encourage moderation and we're going to regret this tomorrow.

And that escalates. You keep being too tired the next day. You keep feeling even worse when you sit down to enjoy yourself the next night because now you're already tired, so stress gets to you faster, and now you feel guilty about how late you're staying up so you're not really enjoying playing your game or scrolling Tumblr or whatever anymore, you're just nervously glancing at the clock, "have I spent too long yet? How much longer can I do this before I get in trouble?"

Even though now you're in your 20s or 30s and it's been a decade since the last time anyone else told you it was bed time.

Learning that you're allowed to have fun isn't easy; guilt and shame are emotions that run very, very deep. And neither is learning to have a healthier relationship with saying "okay, that's enough for today".

For one, you have to stop threatening yourself. "Tomorrow is gonna suck" and "You're going to regret this" and "we're going to get in trouble at work" don't work. You already feel bad, you already know it's gonna suck, so why wouldn't you try to cram in one more hour now while it's not the day that's going to suck yet? Punishment is not incentive.

Because by now you're in a situation where sleep is a horrifying punishment that ends any fun, but you're not enjoying your fun anyway because you're tired all the time on top of feeling ashamed for doing something fun, and you're spending the entire time beating yourself up for being an idiot with no self control who can't even handle going to bed on time like a normal human being...

etc etc etc.

You will hear a lot of people give advice on how to get rid of the idea of having to "earn" sleep or fun or happiness by doing "enough" other things. To learn to accept that just being alive is enough reason to "deserve" to do those things. That will work for some people, but for others it just ends up one more thing to scold yourself about, especially when you're already in the habit not of denying yourself entirely but instead of doing it and feeling guilty the whole time.

But learning to set limits ahead of time, so that you're not anticipating some unknown time that a nebulous authority figure is going to finally have their horror monster timer run out and leap out at you but instead know when and what to expect? Holy shit it helped.

Don't get me wrong, it hella felt like depriving myself at first, like I was being grounded, and I looked at my phone beeping saying it was bedtime quite often and got annoyed.

But then I stopped treating fun as something that had to wait until the end of the day and everything else had to be done first. It is way easier to stare down sleep and go "I don't need you", especially if you have any kind of insomnia making the idea of being in bed a dreadful one on top of it. It is harder to say that about dinner, or calling a friend, or walking the dog. Plus then the day isn't over yet, so giving up on your fun isn't also accepting that as the defining moment of the end of your day!

So you have to start practicing looking for places to squeeze in a little more fun - "I've got an hour before dinner, that's perfect to make some tea and watch two episodes." "My favorite youtuber just put up a new video, why don't I take a break to watch it before I finish this homework?" "I need to go grocery shopping tomorrow anyway, and if I leave an hour early I could go kick around the bookstore first."

And once you do, fun starts to feel less shameful.

Don't get me wrong, if your issues run deep enough it still does sometimes. But when you get to have these moments of joy that you don't feel the need to hide or apologize for and where punishment isn't part of the routine, then fun stops feeling like something you have to dig your claws into for fear of having it taken away from you once someone catches you with it. And that means that finishing a level and glancing over at the clock is something you do because it actually managed to click a satisfaction switch in your head and you wondered if it was a good note to end on for now, instead of something you do with your breath held and the berating words already cycling in your mind.

I am not offering this advice expecting it to work for everyone or be easy or anything like that. I am someone with Depression, ADHD, and pretty severe PTSD sharing a technique that one therapist told me that really happened to click for and help me specifically, in case it might help someone else be a little nicer to themselves today, too.

[samstree]

Jewel

(obikin, 1.6k, established relationship, also on ao3) Anakin is on painkillers and forgets something important.

Anakin wakes up warm and comfortable, swathed in layers of blankets and wrapped in strong arms.

The world swims, swaying and tipping to one side in the distinctive way of being put on painkillers. He blinks, and blinks again.

“Mmph…” he makes a confused noise, not sure how he ended up here. Or where here is, even.

“Hey, careful.”

Oh, that is the most beautiful voice he has ever heard.

So Anakin looks up, following the source of the voice and meeting the most beautiful eyes he has ever seen.

“Obi-Wan.”

He breathes the name in wonder, heart fluttering, nearly giddy. Of course, it’s Obi-Wan. He is the most beautiful man in the whole galaxy, and Anakin loves him so much even when his head is fuzzy with drugs. He’d know Obi-Wan when he barely remembers his own name. He needs to tell Obi-Wan that, how important he is, how much joy he brings into Anakin’s life, but all that comes out is—

“Obi-Wan, you are…here.”

An amused huff rumbles against Anakin’s ear, and Obi-Wan’s eyes crinkle softly. It’s Anakin’s favorite look, when happiness is etched into the lines around his eyes. He reaches out to touch, only to grunt in pain.

“Don’t move just yet. Your shoulder is in quite a state, darling.”

The arms around Anakin hold him closer, securing him in place. He then looks down to find his prosthetic arm tightly bound with a sling. The pain spreads from his shoulder to his chest, dulled like a distant echo.

“But I feel fine.” He nuzzles into Obi-Wan’s neck. The world doesn’t spin as much when he rests against Obi-Wan like this.

“It’s all the painkillers you are on. They had to double the doses, with your metabolism so fast. It’s still not working well enough.” Concern seeps into Obi-Wan’s voice. “Let’s not try anything just now. I’d hate to set your bones again.”

With that, gentle fingers run through Anakin’s hair, almost putting him back to sleep with all the petting and scratching.

A glint of silver catches Anakin’s eyes.

“Oh,” he says, struggling to extract the free arm to catch Obi-Wan’s hand. “What is this?”

He frowns at the silver band resting on the fourth finger of Obi-Wan’s hand, heart growing heavy despite the confusion. He pokes at the thing, the warm metal touching the tip of his index finger.

“It’s my ring, dear one. What are you doing?”

“It’s a wedding ring.”

Anakin turns Obi-Wan’s palm, observing the band intently. His head doesn’t feel like his own, but his memory is still intact. A silver band on the fourth finger, that is Stewjoni tradition to indicate that—"

“You are…married?”

Anakin meant it as an accusation. When did Obi-Wan get married? How? Where? Why does he not know about it? But all that came out of his lips is a sad whisper, voice trembling with hurt.

He meets Obi-Wan in the eye, but only finds surprise there. It’s rather unfair, for Obi-Wan to stare at him like that, as if he’s crazy for asking the question. He’d think he deserves an answer after all this time, the love weighing on his heart, never reciprocated. He is fine with it. He really is. It’s just…

He was still hoping, against all odds.

Now that is gone too.

“Anakin, I—You see, we—”

“But you can’t be.” Anakin shakes his head at the silly idea. “Not you, never you. What was I thinking? To be married, you’d need to leave the Order. My old master would never, not the perfect Jedi.”

He adds a dry laugh in the end for good measure, sounding properly putulent now, but Obi-Wan’s eyes only soften.

“Oh, Anakin, I did leave the Order. I left so I could marry—”

“No, don’t tell me,” he interrupts in a hurry. “I don’t think I can bear it.”

It borders on torture now. Anakin knows because he has been tortured. To know the name of Obi-Wan’s beloved would destroy him. All he wants to do is get away. He cannot stay in Obi-Wan’s arms when they belong to someone else. To steal comfort that doesn’t belong to him is worse than not having it at all.

His eyes brim with tears, and he lets them fall freely.

“Anakin, it’s not like that…”

“Just don’t.” He struggles against Obi-Wan’s hold, voice wet with tears, heedless of his injured shoulder. “I don’t want to hear it. Just let me get out of here—”

“Anakin!”

It’s the desperation in Obi-Wan’s voice that stops his motion. That and the fact that Anakin can barely move his limbs, muscles so relaxed they feel like jelly. The ache returns, deep in his bones, but none of it matters when his face is cupped in gentle hands and the most beautiful eyes are right in front of him.

Anakin is powerless when Obi-Wan’s attention is on him, so close yet so far away.

“Will you listen to me? Let me explain?”

Anakin sniffles, and then answers weakly, “…alright.”

Instead of answering, Obi-Wan takes his flesh hand, threading their fingers together. His motion is so tender, so intimate that it erases every last thought from Anakin’s mind.

“It must be one of the side effects of the drugs.” For some reason, Obi-Wan is sounding too amused for the grave situation they are in. “This will be very funny when you come out of it, dearest. Believe me, I want to enjoy it, but not at your expense when your head is messed up like this. Will you look at your hand? For me, just look at your hand.”

Their hands lay on top of the blankets, skin against skin. When Anakin looks down, there are two silver bands, side by side. One on Obi-Wan’s fourth finger, the other on Anakin’s.

“Huh,” he makes a confused sound. “I’m married too?”

“Against all odds, yes. Master Yoda lost the bet to Master Windu on the big day.”

Anakin blinks, brow furrowed.

“But to who?”

He can’t imagine overcoming the heartache of Obi-Wan devoting himself to someone else, but—

“Will you look at the other side of the rings?”

With that, Obi-Wan takes Anakin’s hand again, flipping over both of their palms to show the underside of the rings. There is a small inscription etched onto each of them. The one on Obi-Wan’s is the traditional Tatooine symbol for “rain”, the pattern often carved into Japor wood and gifted to one’s beloved. Rain is the most precious thing, after all. The inscription on Anakin’s band reads “jewel” in Stewjoni.

But how does he know that? When does he know Stewjoni words?

“Oh,” Anakin hums. He feels as if he’s on the verge of a great discovery, a warmth spreading through his chest like a promise from the past. A vow, maybe. “Oh, Obi-Wan! I see!”

“Really? What do you see?”

Anakin breaks into a big smile. “I don’t know! But I’m so happy!”

Obi-Wan’s laugh is like music to Anakin’s ear. Even though he thinks he’s the one being made fun of, he still loves that laugh.

“I’m glad you are happy,” Obi-Wan says, indulgently, “but what if… I did this?”

He takes Anakin’s flesh hand, and kisses him on the fourth finger, right above the silver band, lips incredibly soft. Anakin’s mouth falls open.

“Still happy?”

Anakin nods so hard that he feels dizzy.

“How about… this?”

Obi-Wan trails a few kisses along the back of Anakin’s hand, reaching the delicate skin at his wrist. He looks up through long lashes, eyes impossibly soft, and then—

And then, he kisses Anakin right on the mouth.

The kiss is chaste and light as a feather. It couldn’t have lasted for more than a second, but the world comes to a stop.

As soon as Obi-Wan breaks away, Anakin gapes again. He can only stare at the smug looks on Obi-Wan’s face. When he leans in, Anakin closes his mouth to kiss him, again, and again.

They draw out another kiss, breathing deep into it, the Force singing around them with how right it feels. Their lips meet in a rhythm so familiar, it’s like a choreographed dance. Anakin melts into the warmth of Obi-Wan’s presence, smiling when the soft beard scratches the corner of his mouth. They finally break apart, and now the world is spinning for an entirely different reason.

“Oh, my dearest.”

Anakin lets out a small gasp at the endearment. He is Obi-Wan’s—

“My beloved,” Obi-Wan murmurs, running a thumb on Anakin’s cheek, palm cradling his chin gently. “Don’t you see? There is no one else. I left the Order for you, so we could marry. I left because you are my joy, my hope, the jewel of my heart… who has forgotten all about our marriage after a few doses of painkillers. Tell me, dearest, what shall I do with you?”

All Anakin can do is stare. He stares as Obi-Wan helps him lean against the pillows and adjust his own position so they can cuddle comfortably. He stares as Obi-Wan peppers more kisses on his arm, his shoulder, hand. He stares as Obi-Wan tucks the stray curls behind his ear, with nothing but love on his face, as if the sight of Anakin brings him all the happiness he could ever ask for.

“We are married?” Anakin asks, feeling silly now but still needing the confirmation. “You… love me?”

Obi-Wan looks like his heart is breaking, just a little. “What can I do to convince you?”

Anakin perks up at that. “Kiss me again?”

“That I can do.” A smile, and Obi-Wan obliges.

They kiss until Anakin is dizzy with love, until his bones are humming with contentment. They kiss until The Force wraps around them tightly, reminding him of the familiar warmth from his memories. Of vows made while their hands intertwine, their hearts beating in tandem.

They kiss until another tear trails down Anakin’s cheek. It’s not nearly as precious as the rain drops on Tatooine, or the jewels of Stewjon, but his beloved kisses it away too.

[kmgkmg]

LOVE FOOL - CHOI SEUNGCHEOL

word count: 0.6k…

pairing: seungcheol x gn!reader

synopsis: you and your boyfriend are out and about being affectionate and just obnoxiously cute!

genre/s: fluff, non-idol!au, bf!seungcheol, established relationship, domestic

warnings: none!

rating: pg

a/n: title is taken from the song love fool by exo! the fic is largely based on this pic hehe <3 first seungcheol fic so hope yall enjoy it!

“Doesn’t that sculpture look like a bunch of grapes?” Seungcheol asks you, pointing to the abstract sculpture in the near distance. 

“It does!” You agree excitedly at his discovery, to which your boyfriend lights up.

He lets his eyes wander on the sculpture for a while more before continuing to walk. The two of you were out for another one of your sweet dates, walking around the city after watching a movie at the theaters. 

Still standing in front of the sculpture, you call out to him, “Let me take some pics of you in front of it.”

He turns back, seeing you motion him over with your hands. “In front of this?” 

“Yeah! It has its own artistic aesthetic, no? Perfect for Instagram.” You explain whilst enthusiastically pulling your phone out in preparation. There were several passersby, but you continued to be unaffected by their stares, solely focused on your boyfriend.  

Seungcheol sees how much you want to take his pictures and lightly jogs back over to you. He’s used to your antics, well aware of how much you enjoyed taking pictures to remember the events of the day.

“There it is, Cheol! Your perfect smile.” 

He notices that you’re grinning from ear to ear. Seungcheol always thought your smile was infectious, but today proved it once again. Unable to contain his own joy, his smile only grows wider at your happiness. He poses with great focus, starting to care less and less about the people around you. 

“Now silly poses!” You direct him, acting playful behind your phone’s camera. He covers his mouth slightly with his hand, trying his best to stifle his laughter. 

An elderly couple approaches you, undetected by you since you were determined to take the best photos of Seungcheol. Seungcheol’s smile falters slightly at the strangers walking to you, stopping his poses. 

“Young love,” the elderly man starts, “this is the best time. Let us take pictures of the two of you together! You resemble my partner and I when we first started dating.” 

You finally look away from Seungcheol, diverting your attention to the source of the words just spoken. An elderly man stood behind you, waiting for your reply to his offer with a small smile and a hint of nostalgia behind it. The couple were still linking arms, clearly in love with each other. Your gaze drifted to their hands, noticed the wrinkled state of them, but both were wearing well-kept rings around their ring fingers. 

“Aw, we would love that!” You answer warmly, carefully passing your phone to him. 

Having not been able to hear your conversation, Seungcheol is frozen in front of the sculpture. You head in his direction, an action that only confuses him more. The puzzlement on his face makes you smirk, before filling him in. Seungcheol nods, moving over so that both of you are centered in the photo. 

He glances over to you beside him, still beaming with a peace sign placed near your face. On the count of three, Seungcheol turns and places a quick peck on your cheek. He loved giving you wet kisses, so he ended the kiss with a loud smooch. Your head whips in his direction, putting your hand up to your face to feel the wetness he left. 

Faking disgust, you rub his spit off your face. “Gross!” 

“What can I say? You make me a fool, Y/N.” Seungcheol shrugs, looking back towards your phone. 

Without missing a beat, you reply to him. “A fool? Then, call me a love fool since I’m completely in love with you.” 

You look at each other adoringly, happy to have met.

“Say cheese!” The elderly man’s spouse instructs, making you both tense up, realizing how distracted you were. 

Seungcheol mumbles through his smile, “That makes two love fools.”

[lilbitdepressed27]

Tara Carpenter/Fem!Reader

Summary: Part 2 of my Supernatural AU

Warnings: none really

WC: 3.3k

Authors Note: so sorry for the wait y’all. Work has been kicking my butt lately. But now that I’ve got bit more free time I’ll try (key word here is try y’all) to update more on some of my other AU’s I got in my drafts. Well hope y’all enjoy and it’s not proofread so, sorry for any mistakes

Your head ached. You weren't sure what happened. You had been following some demons. They were talking about another seal being close by. You had been careful, like you always were. You had been close to discovering what the seal was when you had been knocked unconscious. The ache coming from your head was like nothing you've ever felt before.

"You took your time waking up."

You felt your body jolt up, looking for the source of the voice. Eyes widening when you saw who it was.

"Mindy?"

"Hey dingus, I missed you."

Ignoring the ache coming from your head you were quick to wrap Mindy into a hug. Her familiar laugh escaping her lips as she returned the hug just as tight. Then pulling away to punch her on the shoulder.

"Ow!"

"Where have you been?! We thought you were dead! Anika, she's hurting because of you!" The small relief you felt at seeing Mindy alive and well was now replaced with anger.

"I'm sorry. I didn't have a choice. They had to pull me away from Wayne's watch. They had to make sure I was on their side and not Wayne's. I had to do this to keep Anika safe. Keep you safe."

You were filled with confusion, "Them? Who are you talking about? Keep us safe from who?" Before Mindy could answer the door was pushed open. There stood the man that had trained you when you woke up as an angel.

"Hello Y/n." Dewey spoke in a gentle voice. A vocie you knew all so well. It had been the same voice, one that reminded you of a father trying comfort their daughter. One he had used on you when you first woke up. The fear and confusion that you had felt after death had been so profound. But Dewey had been the one to take you under his wing, quite literally.

"Dewey? Where-What's going on? Explain now."

"Y/n first understand that we had to gather the ones we knew for a fact were on board with what we were doing. There is a rebellion rising against our lord. Some angels siding with the rise of Lucifer. We believe that there are higher ups that are also part of the rise of Lucifer." Dewey looked at the younger angel. He had seen her grow into a loving and caring angel. An angel that brought so much joy, peace, love and what was most important in a situation like this, loyalty.

"It's also why you no longer have your halo. It is why you most likely have a killer headache. The halo only ever had one purpose. It serves as a tracker for the one you took orders from. Which in your case is Wayne." Dewey continued, he had his suspicions about Wayne. There was something about that man that had always put Dewey on edge.

"Wait what about Anika. She's under his order as well." Everything was being explained to you in what felt a fast pace. Making your headache worsen. But now you worried about Anika.

"Don't worry about Anika. I've been keeping a close eye on her. She'll be here soon." Mindy spoke from her spot, she was still sat at your side of the bed.

"There's also something else. Tara Carpenter is still the key to putting a stop to this war. But she's not the only one...you are as well. You both have to."

*

Tara felt like she was going crazy. Anika, the angel that told her you were missing had searched everywhere for you. It had been three days since she was informed that you were missing. She had also tried to find you but there was only so much she could do.

There had also been something else that had been bothering her. It was your case. You had died at the age of eighteen. Six years after she was forced to leave with her mother. She had tried to keep tabs on you but it had been hard. While she sat in a hotel she couldn't help but to hack into the files of the Woodsboro police department. Finding your file. Reading all the details of your file.

You had been walking alone from a late soccer practice. Your mom reporting you missing when you failed to return home. The police had gathered a search party to find you. Searching the woods that had always used to give you creeps. There were notes saying you could have gone into the woods at your own free will and just got lost. Tara knew you would never go any where near the woods, especially at night and alone. She remembered how scared you used to get when she would even slightly mention going into the woods.

The search team had searched for a total of four days. Before calling it quits. Closing the case after chasing up dead ends. The detective that had been the lead detective on the case had deemed you a runaway and had closed the case. The more she read the more she hated Detective Altieri. The stupid man had given up too quickly. It wasn't till 11 months later when they found your body. Beaten, bruised, broken bones, signs of-

...she couldn't bring herself to look at your autopsy. The images of your body, your dead body. But what she read had been enough for her to cry.

The ones who had murdered you, had never been found. They had gotten away. Reading that had angered her. Those assholes had gotten away with brutally killing you.

She'll find them. Find those murders and make them pay. Even if it's the last thing she does.

*

"Have you found anything?" Tara hadn't given Anika a chance to speak before she questioned the angel.

Anika felt like she was losing everyone. First Dewey, then Mindy her soul mate. Now you. She couldn't find you anywhere. It was like you were gone. Truly gone.

"No I-I can't find her. I don't even know where else to look. I've tried to use our halo link. But it's like the connection has been cut off." Anika slumped in the chair her hope dwindled as the days passed. The mere thought of you being truly gone was enough for her to…she wasn’t even sure.

"What? But how does an angel just disappear-"

"-Death. No one knows where an angel goes after dying as angel. But when the connection is severed it's just like this."

Dead? You couldn't be. The connection she had with you. She knew, you were not dead. She knew it in her heart. She in no way could explain this connection she had with you. Even as kids it had been strong. The way you both always gravitated towards each other. Always being able to find each other in a crowded room.

Looking back to the year you had gone missing. She remembered feeling so lost, confused, worried, in a way that she couldn’t explain. At the time she figured it was over her mom. Her mom had been off on a dangerous job living her alone. So she automatically thought the feeling was over her mother. Then to the day you died, it had been the worst day of her life. She remembered the feeling emptiness, like her heart had been carved out. She never would have thought it was over you.

"No she's not. I can't explain how I know that but she's not dead." Tara refused to believe you were gone again. Cause she didn’t feel that hallow feeling in her chest.

Anika looked at the younger Carpenter. She had done a lot of research on soulmates. With angels it was a common thing. But an angel and a human. It was rare. It almost never happened. She watched how connected you were with the shorter woman. A connection that you could not explain. As she got to know the woman that will save the human race, she knew that connection wasn't one sided. She has seen how your disappearance had truly affected Tara. The connection couldn't have happened in a span of time you met Tara. She knew as much. The connection had to have happened when you were alive. Before you became an angel.

Meaning Tara had have to known you before you died.

"Tara, did you know Y/n before she was killed?"

The question had caught Tara off guard. The only one that knew was Sam. "Yes. Before I had to leave woodsboro when I was thirteen."

"Tara do you-Anika. Tara Carpenter we finally meet."

A deep voice had cause the two woman to jump, the hunter taking out the gun she had hidden under her jacket in such quickness that Anika had been surprised. Her eyes looking over the older man. He looked harmless but she knew better.

"Dewey?"

Tara observed the way Anika clearly knew the man. Seeing as Anika didn't seem on guard she was reluctant to put the gun down.

He walked towards Anika, his hand on her shoulder giving it a small squeeze. "We have to talk. Ms.Carpenter, it's nice officially meet you. My name is Dewey an angel of the lord." The time had come. The need to pull all his forces together. The need to put an end to this madness before it got too far. The dawning fact that some angels(his fellow brothers and sisters) had turned their backs on their lord.

"Dewey do you know where Y/n is I can't-She's safe. Would you like to see her?"

"No shit. She's been-"

*

Tara would be lying if she said she wouldn't be punching that man the next time she saw him. How dare he use his angel magic to knock her out. And of all things they had taken her weapons.

"Hi Tara."

Your voice had spoken softly. A vocie she could finally remember. You were her Y/n. The girl who had defended her against a bully. The girl who would always walk her home. The same girl that would take your own jacket off to give to her on the cold days. The same girl that had climbed a tall tree to put a baby bird back in its nest. The same girl who had stolen her heart the moment she laid her eyes on you.

"Tara do you think we will be best friends forever?"

"Well obviously. Who else is going to save you from the scary monsters."

But she wasn't there to save you front the scary monsters. Like she had promised. The monsters had gotten to you and she didn't even know about it until it had been too late. With the guilt, anger, relief (that you were there in her presence safe and you didn't look to be harmed) that she felt in that very moment had been so overwhelming. The small chocked sob that escaped her lips was unavoidable as she basically threw herself into your arms.

You had not expected this type of reaction from the hunter. The clear distress had been clear from the moment your eyes connect with hers. To have her warm body against yours had you feeling, complete? Whole. Like a part had been missing and you were finally reuniting with that missing piece. You didn't know why Tara was acting like this but all you wanted to do know was comfort her.

Wrapping your arms around her and holding her closer. You could feel her own arms tightening around your waist. You weren't sure how long you were stood there with the short brunette in your arms but you were certainly not complaining.

"I'm sorry for not staying in contact with you. I'm sure you were worried, Anika told me you tired your best to find me. I would have contacted you the moment I could but I was not allowed. Dewey said it wasn't safe." With being informed about everything, you knew it was for the best. But you had not liked it.

"Safe from what? The demons? Lucifer? What's going on? Why is he being so secretive?" Tara couldn't bring herself from pulling away from you. She never really realized how much she had missed being in your arms. The security that you brought. Now she knows why she felt so safe with you. Not only because of your angelic presence but because she knew you. You were her best friend.

You had noticed that Tara made no move to leave your arms, so you stayed there. Wanting to comfort Tara as much as you could. "There are some angels that want Lucifer to rise. Dewey had gathered the most trust worthy angels. Don't worry Sam and Gale are here as well."

Tara knew she had to pull away from your embrace but she couldn't bring herself to do so. And from the way you were holding her it made her heart fill with such happiness that she had not felt such a long time.

"Do you really not remember anything from when you were alive?" She couldn't help but to ask the question. The ache in her heart grew as she watched as you scrunched your nose trying to think hard.

"Not really. With the halo no longer in place Mindy said that memories should start to flow back. Depending on the trauma, seeing as I was kidnapped and tortured my memories will probably take longer. They'll come when they come. Dewey said they have to come at their own pace. I don't know. Why?" You were told by Dewey how old memories from passed life will come and how strong they were when they did. Strong enough to cause pain. The pain apparently was unbearable for a few seconds before. The relief that settled in.

"No reason. Are you sure you're okay?" Tara looked you over. You stood taller, wings free. It had been the most relaxed she had seen you. The gentle smile you had on your face as you looked down at her. She brought her hand up to your face. Cupping your cheek, her thumb gently creasing your soft cheek. Heart beating a bit faster as how you leaned into her palm.

"I'm more than okay."

"I-Oh am I interrupting?"

You felt Tara jump as much as you did. Reluctantly stepping away from each other. You looked towards the door seeing Mindy leaning on the door frame with a teasing smirk.

"The name is Mindy. Nice to meet you Tara Carpenter. Hate to interrupt this cute moment between you. Dewey wants everyone in the gathering room. Said it's important."

You felt your cheeks warming as Tara showed no signs of embarrassment as she confidently took your hand in hers. You were in no way embarrassed but you had never had someone giving you so much attention. Let alone someone like Tara. But there was something in Tara's eyes, the way she was acting. Like something had happened in between the days you hadn't seen each other. But she seemed happier, and you weren't sure why.

*

"Okay everyone please listen up. This war, it just got a whole lot worse. With demon's succeeding in opening up the seals. They have gotten closer to completing in opening the 66 seals. But they have had some help. Unfortunately there are some angels who are helping the. We are here to make sure that they don't succeed. No matter the cause."

You had sat next to Tara, her hand surprisingly still in yours. She had refused or just not bothered to let your hand go. You liked the feeling of her hand in yours. The familiarity of her warm hand yours was causing you some weird déjà vu.

"-Y/n?"

Your eyes snapped away from your joined hands towards Dewey. Feeling Tara give your hand a squeeze. "I'm sorry what was that Dewey?"

"Y/n, I said you will have to be careful. I heard Wayne is not happy that you have gone missing. Not only does he have his angels looking for you, he also has some demons looking for you as well." Dewey had heard from one of his brothers that not only was Wayne enraged but he apparently had gone crazy looking for you. And Dewey knew Wayne well enough that if he found you, you would be grave danger. And if Wayne knew of your true purpose he would want to kill you.

Tara wouldn't let anyone lay finger on you, not if she could help it. She didn't care if that asshole Dwayne was an angel. She's been doing this line work long enough for her to know that every supernatural being has a weakness. A way to be killed.

She was not going to lose you. Not again.

*

You watched with a smile as Mindy and Anika stood hugging each other  they simply couldn't get enough of each other. You were happy for them, happy hating they were finally together again. You knew how much Anika truly missed Mindy.

"Here."

You looked away from the couple to Tara. She had a small shy smile as she held out her hand. You weren't sure what caused this change in Tara but you were happy she seemed happier. You opened your palm a smile in return.

Tara couldn't hide her growing smile even if she tried. Your smile was the same. The excitement in your eyes, the same excitement you always showed when you received gifts. Her heart warming at the sight. Putting the same necklace you gave her when she was forced to leave you. A necklace that had two wings shaped as heart with a small quote 'I would find you in any lifetime'. How ironic.

"It's a something that's—I don't know figured you'd like it."

The moment you felt the cold silver on your palm you felt yourself tense.

"It's for you. I want you to know that I'll always find you. Okay? Whether it's a town away. A city. A state. I don't care. It's okay. We will see each other again. I promise."

Dewey wasn't kidding about that ache. You heard your own voice, granted it did sound younger. You saw a short blurry figure standing in front of you. The flash of memory had passed too quickly for you to even try to see anything else other than figure.

"Y/n are you okay?" Tara tried not to sound as hopeful. But seeing you tense like that as your face scrunched up in pain. It worried her.

"...Yea I'm okay. Just the slit ache, my memories. They are returning a lot faster than I thought. Although that memory didn't really give me anything. It was blurry. And it happened too fast."

Even if you still didn’t remember her. She couldn't have felt more hope. You were remembering. Slowly but surely. That was enough hope for her. She still plenty of your old stuff. Letters, poems, gifts. Pictures, but she'd save those for last.

She'll help you remember.

*

"But sir, they don't have their halos anymore. How will we track them?"

"Don't be so pathetic. You're forgetting something my dear son. Y/n is special not only did you kill her when she was human. But you also opened a new hell gate for than hunter, Tara to go down."

"But-"

"If the halo has been broken. Than Y/n will remember who she once was. She'll remember the pain she had felt. The torture, the fear, the helplessness." Wayne laughed as he looked out the window. Overlooking the forrest.

"She'll remember the abandonment. Her own god, leaving her for dead, it won't be long till she comes looking for us."

:)

[gojolvs]

I still want you.

Chapter 3

⤿ Satoru Gojo × reader

Falling in love with the Satoru Gojou wasn’t an easy task. You truly love him but will this come to an end?

Warning/ tags; angst, profanity, smoking, cursing, smut, cheating gojo.

Genre; angst, cheating, infidelity, jik, Gojou × reader

Notes: the tag-list is open if you'd like to be mentioned everytime i update just send me a message.

Previous chapter ⤏ Next chapter

You woke up to the feeling of the bed empty. Satoru was no where to be seen. A sigh escaped your lips as you thought about yesterday's events, mentally slapping yourself as you got up from bed. You checked your phone and found a message from Toji.

Toji: 'Goodmorning, i hope you slept well :)'

Y/n: 'Goodmorning to you as well and I did thank you!'

You hadn't realized you were smiling when you woke up to a simple text message. There were no morning messages left by Satoru. Today was the last day of staying at the hotel after that you had plans to drop off your son with your mother because you hated seeing your mother live alone in a huge house without anyone. Sumire loved his grandma so much, sometimes you thought he loved her more than you. You quickly realized that you had a night gown on, not being to recall anything that happened yesterday you assumed nothing special happened. You still vividly remember how devastated your mother was when she found out her husband had cheated. She barely even ate and always stayed at bed. Despite you being 16 at the time you had to go out and work a few hours and maintain your mother. You truly did hate seeing her like that. Always staying with her all the time.

There was even one time where she was so depressed she never once left her room. You had to physically help her up and shower her. Getting cheated on after more than 16 years of marriage had affected your mother horribly. Your mother had talked about the cheating with you. Your father had fallen out of love and always left your mother confused and doleful. He cheated on her with one of his co workers at work. Still remembering the days where your parents would fight and send you to go get something at the store while they tried and resolved their arguments.

You slowly started to realize that maybe what happened to your mother was happening to you. Satoru had always left you confused. Before you could reach any conclusions you felt a pair of tiny hands hug your stomach.

"Goodmorning my love, did you sleep well?" You asked while seeing Sumire's cute little face light up.

"Mommy where's daddy?" His blue eyes sparkled at the mention of his father. Sumire always said he wanted to be like Satoru when he grew up. A well known business man and have a beautiful wife.

"He's busy honey. How about we go out just me and you?" You said ruffling his beautiful hair. His face was immediately joyful, smiling he nodded his head before hugging you tighter than before. You were glad that you had him. Sumire is the source of your greatest joy and happiness. He is your pride and joy, and the reason you strive to be a better person every day. His innocence and curiosity never fail to put a smile on your face, and you're so grateful for him. 

"Go fetch some clothes so I can change you." Sumire ran toward his room with a smile on his face. Sighing, you let Satoru know you were leaving soon. You would've preferred that he was with you to spend time with your son.

The only thing stopping you from leaving Satoru was the desire for Sumire to grow up and have a family of his own. In spite of everything, you'll always be with Satoru because he's the father of your son. Even if you hate each other, you'll still fight for this marriage no matter what. You felt your hands cold for some reason, you didn't know, but you felt tears running down your cheeks and you began to cry. Fuck this marriage was slowly killing you. Your heart was breaking in pieces remembering that Satoru isn't even here. He said he was going to be with you all day but look at him, he's gone.

As your hand reached over your chest, you looked down. There was nothing you hated more than this feeling. Sobbing quietly, you waited for Sumire to finish changing. Your marriage was slowly crumbling, even though you tried your best to prevent it from ending, you simply couldn't. This hurt you so much that you despised this feeling. You did love Satoru, so much that your willing to do anything for this marriage to work out. You loved Satoru more than he loved you that's for sure. You missed when you both used to sneak out to see eachother because you couldn't even go one day without seeing one another, or when it used to snow and you made snow angels with Satoru for the first time. That was the first time you fell in love with him.

It's always been your thing, dumb snow angels. Whenever you said you've never seen snow before, he would try and get an excuse to skip class and sneak you out to play with the snow. His eyes glistened when he first saw you smiling at him, or the way his heart felt like it was healing when he was with you. Whatever he was going through would always disappear when he was with you. For him, you were all he had to keep on living.

“You're so beautiful" was the words he said that day and you would give anything to go back to that day. His gentle and kind demeanor drew you in, and soon found yourself falling in love with him. You would spend hours talking and laughing together, and you felt like you could tell him anything. He was the kind of person that made you want to be a better person, and you knew that you wanted to spend the rest of my life with him.

As you both recall, that was the first time you confessed your feelings to one another. On that day, he stole your first kiss. Satoru was and is everything to you. Did he care the same for you as you did for him? The two of you stood at the beach at night staring at eachother as you talked about how you felt about each other. He had written a small note to you with everything he liked about you on it. Like the way you would giggle to most of his cheesy pick-up lines or how you would hold his hand whenever you didn't feel safe because he was your comfort person.

Now you had nobody.

You were alone and most of your friends were too busy to stay over and talk about life. You felt like you were slowly dying. You just wanted to feel loved once again, the feeling of having someone with you whenever your feeling down. Now you have no one. There's no one you can call or text, except Toji of course. Quickly wiping your tears you decided to get up the bed but to your demise you immediately fell down onto the floor. Your legs felt like jello, not feeling an ounce of strength. You felt useless but with a loud thud you once again tried getting up before seeing Sumire in the corner of your eyes running towards you. He had a face of concern plastered all over his expression.

"Mommy?" Sumire kneeled with you. Seeing your sons concerned face you began to feel more tears fall. You didn't want your son to see you like this anymore. "Im okay sweetie" you said slowly standing up your muscles felt sore.

You had absolutely zero energy to do anything but you already promise Sumire you were going out with him. You felt pain in your chest, trying your best to breath you started panicking. Not knowing what to do you felt your chest feeling heavier by the second. "S-Sumire get my phone quick," you said in between painful groans. We're you about to pass out? Shaking intensely you tried to recompose your breath. Your son began to look for your phone. Finding it on top of the furniture he quickly grabbed it before giving it to you. Trying your best to take a deep breath, you felt yourself slowly loosing conscious.

"Siri, call Toji Zen'in!" you cried out before feeling yourself loose conscious.

Last thing you remember was hearing your son cry out.

You could feel someone carrying you. You knew that this marriage was killing you. You've never felt this way before. Despite everything Satoru was so bad for your health. You couldn't believe it but you passed out with the amount of crying and feeling your heart slowly break. The whole time you were unconscious you just remembered all the amazing memories you made with Satoru. Remembering how his face lit up when he saw you were okay and a newborn baby was right by your side, or how he was so worried about you when you were having complications with birth. Smiling he was the one who decided to name Sumire.

After all he knew every single detail about you. Remembering when Sumire first took his baby steps or when he first said mommy which made you so happy. When Satoru decided to propose randomly one day when you were eating Chinese takeout. Forcing you to take the left fortune cookie, opening it and seeing the shocked expression you had plastered on your face, or how you were so happy when you both finally moved in and took care of Sumire together.

Your wedding was absolutely beautiful, small but beautiful. You both agreed to have a small marriage at the beach with only friends and family members. Seeing Sumire crawl to you and him on the altar with the wedding rings strapped on his tiny hand. Seeing your mom play with Sumire the entire wedding day, or your most favorite memory was seeing Satoru cry when he first saw you with the wedding dress on. He had told you that you were the most beautiful woman he's ever layed eyes on. The way he tried convincing you he wasn't crying at the altar despite the tears running down his cheek and his glossy eyes.

Doing all the wedding activities and seeing how everyone was in awe when they saw you and Satoru participate at the games. Not to mention how your mother cried when she saw you and Gojo dancing the slow dance together. The way his eyes didn't leave you at all the entire day he was glued onto you basically. It was the most amazing day ever the only day where you felt relieved and happy to be married to someone you loved deeply.

"Y/n" you felt a pair of muscular arms carrying you trying his best to wake you up. Slowly you adjusted your eyes to the lighting, seeing Sumire in the corner hiding between Toji's legs. Toji had a face of concern, he gently put you down on the bed, placing a hand on your forehead to see if you had a fever of sort. Seeing his face you cried, getting up and hugging his waist. Toji was surprised with the sudden actions.

He hesitated before placing one of his muscular arms on your back hugging you as well. You could see that the hotel room was wide open and the room was messy. Your phone was on the floor with a few miscalls from Toji. "Sumire called me, is everything okay?" Toji said before separating himself from you, placing both of his arms on your shoulders.  "Yeah im sorry for calling you," you said trying your best to try and get up. You could see that Toji deeply cared for you if he came running here not even closing the door.

"Here.” he gave you some clothes folding them and leaving them next to the bed. "Go change so we can go get you something to eat, okay?" He said with his green eyes staring at you. You nodded before grabbing the clothes and walking towards the restroom to change.

"As you for buddy, you're coming with us" Toji said before picking Sumire up and carrying him.

"Im Sumire," he said smiling and pursing his lips together watching Toji smile and ruffle his hair.

"Nice to meet you Sumire, im Toji a friend of your moms.” He replied walking towards you as he seen you step out of the restroom.

You could tell you were tired. You quickly brushed your hair before coming out, grabbing a bit of concealer to hide your red and puffy under eyes. Toji closed the door behind you, talking to Sumire about how he met you and how you're a great and kind person.

"Everyone says im like my mommy." He said in a proud and cute little voice. Toji had put Sumire down and was now walking with him but sumire didn't let go of Toji's hand. Surprisingly the cafe that Toji had chosen was close to the hotel. Toji had opened his car door allowing you to go first, Sumire had sat in the back. "Honey we're not gonna tell your dad about this okay?" Seeing Sumire nod in response you sighed in relief. Satoru wont know about anything that happened today because it's not his business anymore. Sumire was quick to fall asleep in the car.

"Im sorry about that I don't know what happened, all of a sudden I was feeling so much chest pains I guess I passed out." Seeing Toji look at you quickly before looking back at the road. He smiled reassuring you that it was no problem.

"Don't worry about it okay?" He said grinning before pulling up to the cafe. It was a small and cute cafe that read "Mimi's cafe" there was cat drawings everywhere. Smiling you started laughing at Toji's selection of cafes. "Is this a cat cafe?" You asked trying your best to hold back a laugh.

"They say it's good for you." He replied rolling his eyes before parking his expensive BMW. Getting out you slowly woke up Sumire before carrying him. Walking into the cafe the waiter immediately mistook you as Toji's wife. "I'll have an espresso cafe" the waiter nodded before looking at you "and for the wife?" She asked writing down in her little paper pad. You could see that the waiter was checking Toji out, with a little giggle you shook your head. "Not the wife, but I'll take a vanilla coffee and for my son he'll get the hot chocolate.” The waiter slightly blushed before apologizing and leaving quickly. You looked at Toji before looking back at the waiter.

"She's cute." You said smiling, seeing tojis face you laughed even more. Seeing him slightly gag saying that she wasn't his type.

“Not my type, I’m more into independent women.” While waiting for the drinks Sumire kept on asking Toji so many questions you started to feel bad for him.

“How’s megumi?” watching toji take out his phone he began to show you pictures of him.

“Well he turned 5 last month,” smiling you saw all the baby pictures he had of him. You could tell Toji loved megumi.

“Listen if you ever need help with anything, mom wise just text me.” Smiling you ate a bit of Sumire’s chocolate donut.

“I think we should introduce megumi to Sumire, like a play date or something” Toji just chuckled at the fact that you mentioned a play date.

“If it means I get to talk to you more, sure.” Smiling he turned off his phone. Sumire went straight to asking more questions.

“Mr Toji do you know my daddy?” He asked

“Not that much but he’s a well known man around here why?” Toji asked staring at you and then back at your son.

“People say that my daddy is super smart!” you could see the that the corner of Sumire’s mouth was filled with chocolate.

Sighing you wiped his mouth with a piece of napkin, “be more careful.” You scolded.

Seeing how Sumire would quickly come up with another questions while finishing his first one made you smile. Toji suddenly stopped talking when you saw him staring at you.

Tilting your head a bit you were confused, "Are you okay?" You asked before turning around to see what was making Toji so speechless.

For you it felt like time had slowed down when you saw your white haired husband enter the cafe, at first you thought he was walking towards you but as soon as you followed his eyes your heart broke. Satoru hadn't noticed you were here. Walking towards the waiter you were teasing Toji about he went up to her and planted a kiss on her lips. You felt your heart slowly felt like burning. You could've sworn that being shot in the stomach right now would've felt like nothing compared to what you were witnessing now. She immediately kissed Satoru back, smiling as he hugged her by the waist. You started breathing rapidly.

“No this can’t be happening.”

When you saw him kiss her, your eyes already welled with tears, but seeing him so happy with her broke you even further. You quickly got up, grabbing Sumire's hand, before exchanging glances with Toji and leaving the cafe walking towards his car. She was giggling joyously and Satoru kissed her every now and then as she tried to leave to attend other customers. His eyes sparkled with her, just as they did when he was with you in high school. Seeing her ask for a break, she walked with Satoru to the back. "No no no" you gasped, Toji immediately hugged you and you felt yourself start to have another anxiety attack. Tears rolled down your cheeks as you struggled to breathe, feeling an uneasy chest pain, you broke down in tears.

Looking up to him he could tell you couldn't breathe. You were panicking so much you fell down to the ground. Toji tried his best to stop you from falling. "I.. I can't breath Toji" his eyes widened at the mention of that. “Shit,” He was also panicking as well, not knowing what to do he hugged you. Feeling his warm chest on yours, you felt the panic go away. He deepened the hug grabbing your waist and pulling you in deeper. Separating from him you gasped, “Toji…”you said tears still filling your eyes. Despite the hug you noticed it had helped you calm down. “Y/n,”

You shook your head before pushing him off you, “Just take me home.” You felt like your whole world was crushing down on you. Toji apologized before entering the car and taking you back to the hotel where you packed up your stuff, leaving Gojo’s suit case. You quickly checked out of your room before leaving the hotel. Toji had agreed to drive you home except that you didn’t have a home anymore. You and Gojo we’re done, you decided to stay at your mothers house. Calling her with tears in your eyes and your voice was shaky.

“Mom… can I stay over at your house for a few weeks?” You could hear the concern lacing through your mothers voice. “Is everything okay?” She asked.

“I’ll explain when I get there.” Sighing you silently sobbed the whole way back.

taglist; @wo-ming-bai @allofffmypeaches