#as usual im not satisfied with it but i dont think i will ever be

[totentnz]

@silverv-week day 1 // soulmates

set in: au: watch the world burn, circa 2018 v & johnny are soulmates but it's complicated, this is probably confusing for those unfamiliar with my v & my AUs but this was fun!

"you still talkin' to v?"

"who?"

"v. you two were... nevermind."

johnny hadn't seen her in months, he genuinely forgot about her. though that didn't mean he wasn't thinking about her. he used to run into her all the time - by accident, but these days she was nowhere to be found.

a cracked cellphone screen reminded him of her, about that time he asked around about her day job on a hot summer day and how he ended up at a tech shop in some alley, an annoyed v sitting inside, fixing some gonk's gunked up phone.

he entered the shop, a bell rang as he opened the door, she was unphased by the sound. the place was small and somehow it was even hotter inside. the netrunner was the only person inside though light spilled out from the room in the back. a speaker was sitting on her desk, slipknot was playing at what he guessed was maximum volume.

"you work in this dump?" he asked, his voice raised in an attempt to overpower corey taylor. v had been mouthing the lyrics of the song but stopped as soon as she heard him though she continued to move her head to the rhythm of the song.

"no, i'm here 'cause o' the wicked vibes." there was sarcasm in her voice which seemed uncalled for, this place must've been heaven for any runner, so much information was stored on these devices and folks were even paying you to take it off of them.

she was prying the protective layer off the phone in her hands when she pointed at a screen on her desk. "input whatever's wrong with it on there. then give it to me." she explained, not even looking up at him, clearly customer service wasn't her forte.

johnny wasn't here to have anything fixed however so he placed the laptop he had brought with him on her desk. "i can't help ya if ya don--" she began as she placed her tools down, clearly ready to give him an ear full but stopped when she took a look at the device.

"huh." she tilted her head and looked at him, then back at her laptop. she grabbed it and opened it up, typing something in before closing it again. "where'd you find this?"

"in my car. where ya left it." he replied and she finally looked at him now, scanning him from head to toe. she took her time and it was all there: the lingering gaze on his cock and prosthetic in combination with a quick bite on her lower lip. she knew who he was and it got him excited for the inevitable revelation.

"oh. it's you." she paused for a moment and he gave her his best shit-eating smirk - she squinted. "jimmy?"

"johnny." he corrected, there was no way she was being serious right now, she had to recognise him, he was known for more than just his music, especially in night city. "silverhand. hired ya for a gig yesterday?" he tried to jog her memory though her gaze remained unchanged.

"right, right. 'course." she pointed at his arm and then at his face, nodding. "thanks." she tapped the closed laptop with her fingers before placing it underneath her desk. she leaned back and looked at him again before resting her feet on the table. johnny pulled up a chair and sat down, crossing his arms.

"so, johnny silverhand. got a feelin' ya didn't return this outta the kindness o' ya heart." she grinned and with a flick of her wrist checked the time on her watch.

truth be told he wasn't sure why he decided to find her, if she wanted her shit back she should go look for it herself but she had intrigued him last night.

the second random encounter was perhaps the best one: he didn't expect to see her there in her stupid little borg-burger uniform, putting on her best customer service voice, being nice. he found out later that she was fired from that job, supposedly she assaulted a customer after they were being rude, that was more like her. sometimes when he would enter the diner late at night after a show there was a tinge in his chest, half expecting half hoping for her to be there but she never was there to wait his table.

when he was on stage, looking down at the pit he often thought he saw her moshing with some guy like she used to when they were... not dating but it was never her. they idea of her being there -- or perhaps her absence lit a fire in him though and the performance that followed was fuckin preem every time.

but she wasn't on his mind and he didn't want to know where she was or what she was up to. she was just another pair of tits that mixed in with countless others, a few nights of fun, meaningless.

---

"'member johnny?"

"who?"

"johnny. you got his signature on your ass?"

"riiiiight. actually, it's on my thigh."

the image of him did flick through her mind every now and then, like the dias she used to look through when she was working at the retro store.

he taught her about lucky cigarettes, cursing her with the memory of him every time she opened a new pack, maybe that was the reason she swapped to rolling her own.

she had just pulled a cigarette from a freshly opened pack and was about to start smoking it when he stopped her.

"what're ya doin'?" he almost yelled, taking a step towards her to pull it out of her mouth.

"what?!" this irritated her, she needed that smoke right now and could do without his little games.

"never heard of lucky cigs?" he placed his own cigarette between his lips and took the pack from her.

"it's a lil' ritual." he explained and with a flick of his finger he flipped the cigarette around.

"pick a random cig," he raised the hand holding the flipped one slightly.

"put it back in, that's the lucky one." he winked.

"ya don't say." she retorted, rolling her eyes and taking the pack back from him with some force.

"ya smoke that one last." he pointed at the pack and v pulled out a different cigarette, placing it between her lips.

"if anyone wants to bum one and it's the lucky one." he exhaled some smoke into the cold night air. "they buy ya a new pack." he reached into his pocket with his free hand to get his lighter.

"how often does that happen?" she asked and johnny leaned in to light it for her, the fire illuminated his face, bringing out all his beauty and flaws at the same time. as she took the first drag and their eyes locked onto each other she wondered what she looked like to him.

"more often than ya might think." he shrugged and leaned back, putting some distance between them.

occasionally when she entered the atlantis she would scan the bar for his figure, she still owed him a drink or maybe he owed one to her, she wasn't sure. she would listen to rogue talk about him - they were fucking now - and conveniently disappear whenever he would show up.

one day she noticed that there were no more samurai patches on her backpack. she did enjoy their music even before she started fucking the rocker, though she never admitted that to him. the patches were constantly rearranged and maybe she had forgotten to sew those back on, replaced them with other bands, better bands.

after some time she forgot all about him. she knew who johnny silverhand was, especially after he went out with a bang, but none of the moments they shared were attached to that name, he was some guy she had fun with, nothing more.

[phagodyke]

was gonna say smth else but this turned into a vent sorry everyone just ignore. typical weekend post on this blog u know how it is here we go👍

[kellystar321]

.

[carp-esh-ove-lem]

i think me making a dropout/d20/naddpod sideblog is inevitable at this point

[red-dyed-sarumane]

having not played rhythm games for months and then picking up kamicity ensemble ive gotten SO bad at proseka. i was like its so over but im finally down to 5 greats it may possible to ap maximizer ex yet.

[snekdood]

i just think hes neat

[ast3xrism]

CHAPSTICK CHALLENGE - B.K.

˚₊‧⁺ ♱ contents: chapstick challenge w 2009 bill

˚₊‧⁺ ♱ gender neutral!

˚₊‧⁺ ♱ warnings: none!

˚₊‧⁺ ♱ lowercase intended; not proof read

THEIR laughter filled in the silence in y/n’s room as the two sat opposite of each other, next to the bed on the floor. bill and y/n were currently having a sleepover, as usual, and decided to try out a challenge they both saw on the internet.

so, after agreeing, the two went to the store and bought a pack of different flavoured chapsticks.

the moment they saw this challenge on youtube specifically, they knew they had to try it. it was fun and spontaneous, plus they could kiss one another. it was pretty much the whole point of the challenge and that was enough to convince the two.

“alright,” started y/n, their laughter dying down slowly. y/n’s digital camera was placed on their bed, facing the two as it filmed a new memory.

“they probably can’t even see us.” pointed out bill to which y/n playfully rolled their eyes. “im positive that they can see us, bill.”

at that comment, bill raised his brows. he was so ready to prove them wrong. he grabbed the digital camera and pointed it at them, soon laughing as he examined the small screen of the camera. “you cannot see anything!” he laughed.

y/n joined in, the laughter leaving their mouth so effortlessly. but thats how it was like with him.

they grabbed their camera and took it away from him. placing it back to its original spot, y/n got up and grabbed their lamp from her desk.

“satisfied?”

“very.”

y/n smiled softly before grabbing the pack of chapsticks and showing it to the camera. “so, today, me and bill over here will do the chapstick challenge. we dont know if anyone will ever see this…” they trailed off.

“…probably not.” added bill with a shrug. y/n nodded in response, continuing right after. “yeah. so well apply different flavoured chapstick and the other has to guess. thats all.” they explained, momentarily looking at the camera.

their gaze settled onto bill opposite of them, their lips immediately spreading into a smile. “what do you wanna do first?”

“i wanna guess. the entire challenge.”

“the entire game?”

“mhm.”

“okay.”

y/n ripped open the package, few of the chapsticks falling out, landing on the floor between them. “close your eyes.” they told him.

after closing his eyes, y/n picked up a random flavour and showed it to the camera before applying it on their lips. “alright, im ready.”

bill nodded and leaned in, placing a soft kiss on their lips, immediately tasting the blueberry chapstick they applied just moments before.

he pulled away after a moment, licking his lips, trying to savour the remaining bit of chapstick that transferred from their lips to his. “this is way harder than i thought.” he laughed.

y/n joined in, a few laughs leaving their mouth as well. “try again.”

they didnt need to tell him twice before bill leaned in once more, capturing their lips in another soft kiss.

y/n couldnt help but smile into the kiss, causing bill to copy their actions. he pulled away, thinking of what the flavor could be.

“can you give me like 3 options?”

“uh, coca cola, strawberry and blueberry”

“oh! its blueberry!” he exclaimed happily, completely sure of his answer.

y/n giggled at his excitement, nodding as he watched them with expectation and happiness in his eyes. “yes!”

“im so good at this game.” remarked bill, confidently smiling at his partner.

y/n gave him a look. “yeah alright. close your eyes, love.”

bill did as he was told. he patiently waited for y/n to finish applying the new flavour of chapstick, waiting for their signal.

“im ready.”

bill came closer, happily kissing his partner once again, the strong flavour of cherry hitting his tastebuds immediately.

a few seconds later he reluctantly pulled away, not even having to think twice about his answer. “definitely cherry.”

“nope.”

his jaw practically dropped. “what? thats definitely cherry, y/n.”

“it isnt.” they laughed softly.

“i know how cherry tastes like. thats fucking cherry.” bill stood by his answer, refusing to believe otherwise.

y/n kept denying the fact that it was the cherry chapstick, even tho it very much was, creating this back and forth banter between the two.

eventually, y/n started laughing, not being able to hide their plan any longer. they pulled out the cherry chapstick from behind their back.

once bill saw and registered what was going on, he looked at her with a surprised yet knowing look. “you just wanted me to keep kissing you.”

“maybe.” they smiled, bill now aware of their plan all along.

bills expression softened as he continued looking at them, admiring every tiny detail. he let out a soft laugh, intertwining their fingers between them.

“next time youre the one guessing.”

“fine by me.”

“oh i know.”

[decafbat]

i really like how much depth your art has, do you think you could show how you break down bodies when sketching if that makes sense? it’s something i struggle with a lot in my art! ｡ﾟ(ﾟ´ω`ﾟ)ﾟ｡

ok apologies in advance, this is probably going to be a really long and tangential rant about art that may or may not actually help you in learning how to construct bodies. im just gonna put it under a cut to save everyone from seeing this huge text wall.

i dont think its gonna be possible for you to replicate my methods here, because theyre mostly just really specific shortcuts for finding certain proportions and reference points for anatomy, which i'm fairly versed in, but not as much as i'd like to be. the shortcuts you'll need will be different from mine. im glad you think my art has depth, that is something i am trying to seek very intentionally right now, and i dont think im even close to the depth of form i am actually aiming for. so like. this makes making a tutorial kind of inherently hard. nevertheless, i threw this quick sketch together after like 3 failed attempts. (i was doing those attempts digitally, ended up giving up on that and going back to traditional because its what im most comfortable with rn)

i didnt get all the steps i took to get here because scanning that much would be cumbersome but ill try to explain how i got here. i start with the head almost every time.

i use a lot of symbolic/graphic shapes when drawing heads and dont stick to using forms very often besides the circle at the center of the head, which i use as the base to form these graphic shapes around. think of it like "wrapping" the ball in various textures and masses. the eyes are usually "textured" onto the head, notice how the her left eye looks narrower then her right. of course i try to make sure her bangs sit along the curve of the sphere and her ears look like they sit on opposite sides of the head. its easy to forget that part, making the head look unsymmetrical. the particular masses of leica's head would be her snout, which is just a curve extended slightly outside the diameter of the ball, and her hair, which are two strange organic shapes that are quite hard to draw, two hair sprig anime antennae things (forgive me, i forgot the word for them,) and the back of the head, which i usually need to extend slightly. its a little too extended here, needs more on the top, i fix this in the final pass. this was a quick sketch, so i didnt focus too hard on the forms of the head beyond the most essential ones for her design, but i sometimes highlight the form of cheeks with curved hatching, or try to make the eyes appear more sunken-in as they are on human faces. i dont know how to proportion the neck and torso correctly until i draw the head, so i always do it first. next, i did the torso.

so heres why i said that you probably wont be able to replicate this approach. you do kind of just have to practice anatomy, i cant just make it make sense because im not very good at explaining this stuff, but ill try to go through what i did here. so, i generally use simplified bone shapes to find proportions and reference points, as well as more complicated shapes like those of elbows and knees. i try to study fairly often because im not satisfied with here im at with this stuff yet. of course, i dont think i'll ever be. so i'll usually start with the ribcage, add a shoulderblade out the back to find the shoulder, the armbones come out of that, the bone in the upper arm connects to the ulna with a sort of three-pronged attachment, one big knurl in the middle, which forms the thrust of the elbow, two little ones on the side. i think those are part of the ulna but i dont remember. see, you dont really have to know what exactly they do as long as you know what they look like. the ulna does some goofy rotation shit i dont understand, connects to the wrist, and then we have a hand, which, i mean, im not good enough at hands to even be telling you how to do it, but i just have a big squarish mass and some little hotdog fingers coming out of that. you can see on her left hand that ill have a big circle forming the the area on the hand where the thumb attaches... theres more depth to the hands, i think you can easily find better tutorials then i could offer. anyway, under the ribcage theres the pelvis, represented with a box. ill get into that when i talk about the legs. i wanna briefly talk about the way i add the flesh and fat to the bones.

so, i really can't give a comprehensive crash course on anatomy, but i can point you towards the morpho series, which is where i get most of this stuff from. you can get very far with the volumes Simplified Forms, Fat and Skin, and Skeleton and Bone Reference Points. moving on, i just kind of have a feel for where the masses attach by now. the important thing to remember when drawing fat characters like this is that the fat should "hang" from the bones and flesh, drooping down slightly. leicas fat hangs substantially, so she's not very wide despite her weight. this is important to her character design i feel. i almost always draw characters naked first when doing serious drawings because it will come in handy knowing where the forms of the body are when i add the clothing. by focusing on the way her body looks naked, i can modify the impression of those forms when adding clothes, and when i add them later on in this drawing, leica will take on the distinctive boxy look i try to draw her with.

if you look at the arm, youll see that the place the line of bone sits is very high compared to the whole mass of the arm, the flesh and fat of the arm "hang" from the bone, and then the upper arm squishes against the bent forearm too. even if the anatomy in the arm is indistinct, it can still look convincing when the forms act realistically against one another. the elbow has much less fat connected to it, so its more bony then the rest. this isnt actually consistent on all people so like, think about that kind of thing when designing characters, like i was talking about before, fat can sit in infinite different ways. maybe if i was doing a more objective anatomy lesson i'd draw cath, because i do have a sort of vague understanding of muscle placement that doesnt come through here, but probably would if i was drawing a scrawnier character. let me know if you want that.

a word on the breasts too: they hang a bit lower then you'd expect, keep that in mind. the attachment point is also angled, as the line shows. the line starts roughly in the middle of the torso and ends around the armpit, but the form of the breast can go underneath the armpit or even connect around the fold of fat in the back. many things to think about. i love boob shapes. ok lets finally get on with it and talk about the legs.

so, the really specific shape of the pelvis doesnt matter that much unless youre drawing a really thin character, so its just a box here. out from the sides of the pelvis, extending out more then you'd expect, is the femur, which ends in a similar joint to the arm. this shape helps me figure out the form of the knee. two masses on each side with a bunch of complex and weirdly shaped bones forming the kneecap, which i have omitted because i dont yet know shit enough to include them. i am learning though. so, obviously the feet are just scribbles here because im just gonna put her feet in socks anyway. you really dont have to do more then you have to. a few tips i can offer here, the butt should hang a bit too when drawing fat characters, i think the butt is supposed to start just below the pelvis if i remember, but take that with a grain of salt. i also didnt really do that here but its hard to tell because she's facing mostly forward. again, i dont think i can really communicate what's going on here. morpho has a lot of great drawings explaining the shapes and muscles of the legs, all things i might focus on more when drawing a scrawnier character. for this case, i regrettably don't go too hard on the legs. also i should note that legs would usually be much longer, leica is really short so ive exaggerated the proportions to communicate that. i may change my mind on that front in the future and give her more grounded proportions. the important thing to remember with legs is just getting a nice hierarchy of forms going. bigger thigh going into smaller calf going into smaller foot. it mostly comes automatically now.

i added the clothing, shaped up her head a bit, added a bit of fur. i put her in her classic outfit, just a sweater and jeans. i enjoy the big thick folds that come out of these clothes, and big areas of white space too. its nice. i try my best to form all the folds around the forms of the body i drew earlier. thats one case where i really really have no idea what im doing and could never explain it in words. its just some fun intuitive play with loops and lines. this is at around the stage for a sketch where i'd do inks, or if it was going to be a finished pencil drawing i'd erase out parts piece by piece and replace them with nicer and more defined lines and tones.

i guess that's all i can offer , i hope that halped.

[the-s1lly-corner]

Masky resting his head on the readers lap

realized i dont have any solo posts for masky and hoodie so im going to show them some love (at least, no solo posts for them within the current masterlist) writing this while baking my panettone, going to start prepping for dinner too soon so uhuh!! yeah! i need to figure out more of my crp hcs, design wise since i wanna draw more of them... draw too much ej and lj

usually, he doesnt seek out affection. and when he goes its usually quick and simple, like brushing his or your hair or knocking the lips of his mask to your cheek... so him settling his head onto your lap was a huge shock to you, even more so since he seemed a little agitated

maybe it was a headache, or a tough day.. but regardless you werent about to ruin this.. you kind of just stiffen up for a few seconds when he just. wordlessly puts himself across your lap

of course, hes still wearing his mask...

after the initial shock, you do relax..

you dont bother much with trying to ask whats going on, as hed only been answering in short huffs and grunts throughout the day..

run your hands through his hair, thats going to help with any pain hes got in his head.. just let him know what youre doing before you do it! worst case scenario hes going to think youre trying to take his mask off.. and thats going to cut the session short, even if you explain after that you werent going to take it

leans into your hand as you work his scalp, might let out a satisfied sigh as you continue the motions

i dont think he would fall asleep with his head in your lap. actually, now that you think about it, you dont recall ever seeing him sleep around you

you know he does sleep... you just never seen him do it...

will take himself out and away if he feels himself getting tired, doesnt seem to like sleeping around other people

ooooo imagine you just mumble and talk about your day to him... he is listening, he might not show it but he does like hearing you talk..

probably lightly taps his finger against your leg to let you know hes still awake

its a little awkward at first but i think it can turn into something sweet... he just doesnt lay on you often

[hijackalx]

GORTASH NSFW ALPHABET

A = Aftercare (what they're like after sex)

hmm honestly feel like it depends on if hes feeling u or not. if he was just trying to catch a nut hes rude af. like before he leaves he'll throw a wet rag at u. and he used cold water to get it wet 🥲 BUTTTT if he really does like u i think he'll prolly run a bath for u both or something. i can see him washing ur hair/body for u 🥺

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner's)

his chest duhhh lol thats why he walks around with his titties out. i think hes got a really good upper body in general. like shoulders/arms/chest. and i feel like hes an ass man. yes that means all booties ALL. he likes to spank, bite, and leave marks all over it. omggg the type to smack or pinch ur ass in public LMAO

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

yall already know im a firm believer that this man cums bucketfuls. he'll have u sitting there like "damn why is it still going" LMFAO almost exclusively wants to cum inside. to the point to where its hard to convince him not to. he wants to breed u sooo bad 😭😭

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

*NONCON MENTION* it gets him concerningly hard when u tell him no but let him do it anyway. like i dont think he would ever AGGRESSIVELY force u to do anything hence the "let him", but something about being able to change ur mind/overpower u does something to him *NONCON MENTION OVER*

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they're doing?)

well. i think hes an expert when it comes to pleasing himself (which is typically thru penetration, so for my AFABs if yall can finish vaginally just know he do be laying pipe 🤤) but he didnt really grow up caring about his sexual partners much lol. i do think he wants to please you though, like badly. thats the only reason hes willing to let u offer some guidance when it comes to giving oral/fingering u.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

mating press yall. like when he hooks ur legs over his shoulders and basically folds u like a lawn chair lol. also likes doggy though so he can pull ur hair and leave welts on ur ass lol.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

hes wayyyy too intense to be goofy at any moment while u guys are fuckin LMAO. like this man loves sex and gives his ALL. he puts his mf game face on and locks IN baby 😹😹

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

YESSSSSS !!!!! YES !!!!! this man is SO hairy EVERYWHERE !!!! the same texture as the hair on his head. im about to faint yall catch me

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

uhh. i can see him being kind of romantic on special occasions. but like i said hes pretty intense usually and to me that doesnt leave much room for romance lol. especially since he can be so mean too

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

yeah. like all the time. hes a hornball so if ur not around as an alternative he WILL be jizzing into his hand. omfg if yall are like, ever distanced from each other he will want to send nasty ass letters back and forth to keep him satisfied until u get back LMAO god forbid they ever end up at the wrong place

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

his office. will fuck on every surface and up against every wall. everyone else is afraid to touch anything in there 😭

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

he likes when u seem weaker than him, either in the sense that he has a physical or mental advantage over u. dont let anyone else treat u like that tho or he'll think ur a pussy lol

N = No (something they wouldn't do, turn offs)

^^ as i mentioned letting other ppl have the same power over u as he does is a turn off. so if ur like me u got to grow a backbone or get the boot 🥾🤾‍♀️ 😭😭  anyway. i dont think he'll be willing to do anything that makes him feel "lesser" or more submissive. i mean u could probably trick him into doing it if u make him think its his idea or something LMAO

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

i genuinely think he eventually gains an affinity for giving ??? he likes the sounds u make and the way u pull his hair. so yeah, gives lots of kisses and will mutter a lot of praises while down there too. dont get me wrong though u better be giving back too 😹😹

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

rough as fuckkkk bro. doesnt ever like to be gentle. sex just brings out a lot of aggression in him. u will be sore and bruised after. if u convince him to chill out he'll be a pouty baby about it

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

anywhere and everywhere possible. i dont think its a goal of his to be seen by others while doing it but i also dont think he cares so that doesnt really stop him

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

he'll try to get u to do all kinds of fucked up shit. including shit that is probably lowkey dangerous 😹😹 hes pretty sadistic so get ready gurl

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

15-20 mins max shawty lmao sorry 😹😹 and since he wants to act like a wild ape ur prolly not getting a round 2 since he wore himself out. but if u didnt get off in time he'll use his hand to help u finish even if hes sleepy 😴

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

will tease u at random times throughout the day by saying some absolutely horrendous shit in ur ear while ur in public and then acting like nothing happened. but usually doesnt want to waste much time before the act, so he might tease just enough to get u ready. nothing more though

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

heavy grunter and breather. will only moan occasionally if its really hitting right 😹😹 if u do get him to moan i can see it being decently loud. its like a reward

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

very high libido man........ prepare ur hole 🪦

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

sometimes he can stay awake long enough for aftercare but other times itll have to come after a power nap 😭 youll be like "bae how was it" and turn around to see him completely unconscious. snoring and everythang

[gragrigra]

Megan Skiendiel x 7th Member Reader (Part 1 - Part 2)

Thing - Smut, fluff? you r gonna view urself a little negatively ig, i dont think this is angsty i dont remember the word, bruh idk, hand holding O_o a/n - CHAT IM SHAKING. So after years of reading fanfics, i have finally written one myself. Guess you could say Megan took my writing virginity hurhur….. anyways, the pace might be weird or sumtn idk. This story feels worse and worse the more i look at this. Hope at least one person can find enjoyment in this! （╹◡╹)♡ Word count - 5.4k

ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ

You and the girls are in the dance studio, practicing for your newest comeback. Everyone had been at it since 9am, it was now 5pm. The choreographer made you all go through it one more time before calling it a day and leaving.

The girls are packing up their bags and chatting amongst themselves, but you’re stretching. Wanting to practice more.

It wasn’t unusual for you to stay behind after practicing, as the unofficial main dancer of the group, you always strived for the best with dance. But the other girls also know that this isn’t the only reason.

You’re hard on yourself and often put a lot of pressure on yourself, to the point of pushing your body to the limit. You don’t think it’s enough. That you’re never enough. And they know that.

The girls often tried to make you go home earlier to get more rest and to take care of yourself better.

They didn’t know that sometimes, when the thoughts of inadequacy became too overwhelming and loud in your head, that dance was the only way you knew to silence those voices and calm yourself down. They also didn’t know that sometimes, dancing was the only thing keeping you alive.

You sigh softly, standing up straight again. Your body is tired, but you weren’t satisfied with your work in today's practice.

Looking over to the others, you notice that Megan is packing her things a little slower than usual. She had been doing this for the last few weeks. You could tell she was waiting for the other girls to leave so she could stay back and talk to you.

She always did that. Talk to you. Check in on you. Ask if you were okay. Ask how she could help you. It irritated you, but at the same time it filled you with a weird warm feeling. Megan has been like that with you ever since you joined the survival show Dream Academy.

You were the top dancer on the show, always getting praise at the end of month evaluations. And nowadays you’re always getting praise by fans. But no amount of praise could drown out all the negative voices in your head.

And Megan could see right through it.

Megan knew you. She knew you better than you knew yourself, and it made you sick. She was the only person that you felt like truly understood you. But you hated it.

You also hated the way she moved, it’s like magic. An energy around her, that makes everyone want to stare at her forever. Okay, maybe not everyone, but you do.

It made you sick. It was bad enough that she could read you like an open book, but you couldn’t tear your eyes away from her whenever you two were in the same room. Not to mention her stupid whisker dimples and cute giggles that made your heart do flips and made your stomach turn with nausea. She should be arrested! She’s a walking distraction!!!!!

“Yoink!” \( >◡<)/

You see Yoonchae stealing your Nintendo switch from your bag in the corner of your eye and snap back into reality. She gives you a shit eating grin as she tries to run out of the practice room. You don’t care, you’ll get it back when you get home. Sophia however notices, and grabs Yoonchae’s hoodie, stopping her right by the door.

Yoonchae turns around to give Sophia the biggest pout, “Whaaaat?? I want to play in the car.” she whines. “It’s fine, i’m gonna stay a bit longer anyways.” You reassure Sophia.

Sophia nods and lets Yoonchae go, but now her attention is on you. “What do you mean you’re gonna stay a bit longer?” she asks, giving you a concerned look.

“I want to practice some more. I feel a little rusty.” you explain, then you hear a snort behind you.

“Rusty my ass!” you turn and see Manon rolling her eyes at you, “I’m pretty sure you’ve never danced this hard for this long.” Manon scoffs.

Daniela walks past you and ruffles your hair, as she talks with a baby voice, “She just wants to dance until she’s all perfect.” She then giggles as you swat her hand away and try to fix your hair.

“You know I think it’s important for us all to go home early and take care of ourselves.” Sophia gives you a stern look, “Even more so when we have a comeback soon.” She continues. “We can’t risk getting sick.”.

“I’ll stay with her.” You turn your head at the sound of Megan’s voice, and suddenly you can hear your heart beat loudly in your chest. What? She wants to stay? Megan usually just talked with you for a few minutes after practice, then went home with the others. This is new.

Megan looks at you, and your heart does another jump, but you keep your face straight and look back at Sophia.

“I’ll make sure she doesn’t overdo it.” Megan reassures.

“Hmmm,” Sophia doesn’t seem convinced and you see Manon walk up to her, her arm coming to wrap around Sophia’s shoulders.

“Let them, we all know she’s not gonna budge anyway.” Manon says, being the ‘chill dad’ as always.

Sophia sighs in defeat. She knows Manon is right. You are the hardest one of the group to deal with, because you’re stubborn as fuck.

You smile and bid the other girls goodbye as they head out of the practice room. Lara, who has been quiet the whole time, being too tired to comment on anything, gives you a hug before heading out herself.

However, right before she closes the door, she pops her head through it again. “Remember to use protection!” she teases and closes the door quickly.

WHAT?! (　ﾟдﾟ)

“FUCK OFF, LARA!” You shout, as your cheeks turn red. You know she can’t hear you, but you don’t care. Your mind starting to fill with a million thoughts of a certain Chinese ginger, after Lara’s comment.

You take a deep breath and try to shake those thoughts out of your head. You turn around and Megan is there, staring at you with a weird look in her eyes.

“I- uh..” you stutter and quickly walk past her, grabbing your phone. “Let’s start.” you try to ignore how your skin prickled with goosebumps from walking past her.

—————————————————————————

After running through it five more times, your throat feels like the Sahara desert and your body is on fire. Chugging some water before plopping down straight to the floor. The cold surface a nice comfort to your heated skin. It’s not enough though, taking off your shirt you’re left in a sports bra.

Hearing footsteps you feel the vibrations of Megan sitting down beside you. The two of you are quiet for a bit, Megan taking the liberty to switch the music on your phone to something r&b, which you let her do.

As the music fills your head, the world goes silent, your mind goes blank. Your breathing slows. It feels like you’re in your own bubble. A bubble that you only share with her. You wish it could stay like this forever. Just you, Megan, no talking, the music and the cold studio floor.

You don’t even notice when she starts playing with your fingers. It’s something she does when you two sit together like this, alone in a room or in the car. She would reach over to your hand and start playing with it, running her fingertips over the palm of your hand and up your arm, or she would intertwine her fingers with yours.

You hate it. But you love it at the same time. It calms you. It makes you feel like someone cares about you, but you also can’t help but feel like you’re not enough, not enough for someone to actually love you.

It’s confusing. You’re confusing.

“Are you okay?” Her voice cuts through the fog of your thoughts like a hot knife. You’re silent. Not sure if you can answer her truthfully, not sure if your mind can handle that kind of honesty.

You feel a hand cup the side of your face. You turn to the source. It’s her hand. She is looking at you, eyes filled with worry. It’s annoying, you hate that she’s looking at you like that.

“I’m okay,” You sigh, looking away, “Just a little tired.”

“Hmm…” You can hear her scoot closer, her other hand now joining her first on the other side of your face.

“You know you can talk to me, right? About anything?” Her thumb rubs over your cheek, “No. You’re annoying.” You mumble, however you find yourself closing your eyes and leaning into her touch, despite yourself.

“Maybe so,” she giggles, and the sound is like music to your ears. “But you can be a pain in the ass too, you know.” Her voice is quiet and you can feel her stare on you.

“Yeah.. i know..” you mutter, “I just feel like… I don’t want to burden anyone with my problems. And I’m fine, I can handle myself.”

“I’m not just anyone, and it’s okay not to be okay. I’m here for you.” Megan says.

“Shut up,” You mumble.

You open your eyes and they meet with Megan’s. She’s staring into your eyes and her stare makes you want to crawl out of your skin. You look away, unable to hold eye contact.

Sitting up, you pull away from her. Megan doesn’t let you get far though, wrapping her arms around you and pulling you towards her, making you sit sideways on her lap.

“I can feel you getting frustrated.” She murmurs, burying her face in your neck. Her warm breath makes your skin tingle. You hate that.

“It’s because of you.” you hiss. Megan just chuckles, sending shivers down your spine. Your mind is reeling and you can’t think. Your emotions are running wild, and the way she is holding you makes you feel so many things. You try to push her away, but you can’t. Her grip on you is firm. It’s as if you’re glued to her.

“Let go.” you mumble. She just hums, rubbing her nose along your neck, and it makes you shudder. You can’t fight it. Your mind is screaming at you to get away, but you can’t.

“Never,” She says quietly, “I never want to let go of you. Ever.”

Your breath hitches and you swallow the lump that formed in your throat, trying not to cry.

Megan continues, “I love you, you know? I hate seeing you be so hard on yourself. You deserve so much love, so much care and appreciation.”

You feel tears stinging your eyes and your heart constricts. Her words pierce you. It feels like a thousand knives are stabbing your chest, and it’s hard to breathe.

You want to tell her she’s wrong, that you’re not worthy of her love. That you don’t deserve to be loved by her, but the words won’t come out. They stick to your tongue, and you can’t speak.

“I know you don’t think that. But it’s true,” She whispers. “You’re amazing, and you’re so beautiful and so talented. I know that you’re struggling. And it hurts me to see that. I want to be there for you. To support you.”

“Shut up.” You choke out, “Please, just shut up. I hate it, i hate you.” Tears are threatening to come out and you close your eyes, you don’t want to cry.

Feeling Megan’s hands running through your hair and massaging your head, and it’s calming. Your breathing begins to slow.

“Why do you hate me?” She whispers, her breath fanning over your ear and you shiver. “I don’t,” you admit, “I just… i hate the way you care, i hate the way you make me feel…”

“How do i make you feel?” She asks. Her lips ghosting over your neck. “I don’t know,” you mutter, “I hate you. But i don’t… i can’t… i don’t hate you.”

“That makes no sense,” She giggles.

“Shut up! I know…” You groan, hands running down your face in exasperation. Opening your eyes again, you see Megan’s face close to yours. If you were to turn your head to the side you’d kiss her~ No, bad thought. Shoo. Shoo.

“Hey,” Her voice snaps you out of it. “You know i love you right?” Her eyes are boring into yours and you feel your cheeks heat up.

“Yeah, you’ve mentioned it like a million times.” You mumble. It’s a little exaggerated, but she would tell you it often, whenever you two were alone. You’ve never really taken it into heart, it’s just something she said, a statement, not really anything deeper.

You’re about to speak up again, before you notice a slight mischievous glint in her eye. “Can I show you how much I love you then?~” Her tone changes and you immediately recognize that tone of voice, but it was different. Deeper.

“Stop… you don’t…” You mutter, heart racing.

Her lips brush against your jawline, her nose skimming your cheek, and she presses her body closer to you.

You can’t deny it anymore. You’ve been avoiding it, avoiding your feelings, but it’s clear. You have a big, fat, gay crush on Megan. And you can’t stop thinking about her. It’s like a parasite, and you hate yourself for it.

You hate the way you react to her, the way your heart races and how you can’t stop your thoughts from going to her. It’s driving you crazy.

“Do you want me to show you?” Her lips move to your neck, her tongue licking a line across your skin. Your breathing hitches, and you bite your lip, suppressing a noise that threatened to escape your throat. The wet line on your neck that her tongue left, cooling as it’s exposed to air, sending tingles throughout your entire body.

Heart beating fast, your brain can’t process the situation. Is this real? Or is this one of the fantasies you’ve conjured in your head? It feels too real. The way she is touching you, her breath fanning against your skin, her scent invading your nostrils. Turning your head and facing her, your nose touches hers.

This is definitely real. Her face is so close to yours, your lips almost brushing. You can see her pupils dilated and the hunger in her gaze. She’s staring at your lips. And you want to lean in. To finally feel her lips against yours.

Your body aching to feel her. But you can’t move, paralyzed. Your body is shaking. Her hands run down your arms. Moving you so you’re straddling her lap and intertwining your fingers. “I can see it in your eyes. The way you look at me. You think I haven’t noticed?” Her voice is quiet, a soft murmur in the silence of the practice room.

“W-What?” You stutter. Your voice sounds weak, and your throat is tight.

She squeezes your hands, rubbing circles into the back of them with her thumb, before moving them to wrap around her shoulder, you comply.

You can feel her hands on your waist now, rubbing small circles with her thumb. It’s a soothing gesture, one that you know well. But it feels different now. It’s like electricity running through you. Her hands are warm against your skin. Your body is burning.

“I see how you look at me. And it drives me crazy, you know? Because i look at you the same way…” Her hands are trailing upwards now, and you feel them move up your sides, slowly. She’s being gentle with you. “Sometimes I think i’m dreaming. Because how is it possible that someone so beautiful, so perfect, looks at me with that much… desire…”

“Don’t say that. You know that’s not true. You know how I feel about myself…” You whisper. You don’t believe it, not for one second. How can someone as amazing and perfect as her think that you’re perfect too?

She lets out a frustrated groan and suddenly she’s pushing you backwards, off her lap. The coldness of the floor against your back is a stark contrast to her warmth from earlier. You’re confused, did she change her mind?

Your question is answered as you feel her climb over you. Her hands beside your head, and she’s staring at you with such intensity, it’s hard to breathe. “You are so perfect.” She says, her voice filled with passion.

You look away. Your cheeks are burning. “No, i’m not. Don’t lie.” You mutter.

“Look at me.” Her voice is firm, commanding.

You turn back to her. You’re unable to disobey. She’s hovering above you, and your heart is pounding. Your breaths are shaky and shallow. “I want to kiss you,” she says softly. “But only if you let me.”

Her face lowers to yours, her lips mere inches from your own before stopping, awaiting your answer.

Your brain fighting with itself. Do you deserve this? Indulge yourself just once? Would it be a sin for you to let go of your worries and give in? Are you really -

…

…

…

“Please…” You whisper, and that’s all she needs. She’s kissing you.

Soft lips on yours. You’re melting into it, letting her lead. Your hands move up to tangle in her hair. It feels like you’ve been waiting forever to kiss her. Her lips move with yours and it’s everything you imagined and more.

Her hand slides under your head, cradling your head. You feel safe. A sense of security and warmth washes over you.

Her lips part, her tongue slipping past your lips and meeting yours. You gasp and she deepens the kiss, her other hand holding onto your hip, squeezing you gently.

The coldness of the floor doesn’t even register anymore, all you can think about is her lips on yours. How her tongue dances with your own.

She pulls back for air and you take a moment to breathe, the two of you panting. “You have no idea how long i’ve wanted to do that…” She murmurs. Her hand moving down your neck, to your collarbone, and slowly moving towards the straps of your bra.

Your heart is beating so fast you can hear it in your head, drowning out all the thoughts that were there before, replacing it with thoughts of Megan, of her lips and her tongue, her touch. You need more.

“I-I.. Me too…” You admit, and you can feel her lips on your neck, pressing light kisses on the skin.

Your skin is burning, your whole body is on fire. Your hands are shaking as you grab the bottom of her t shirt, tugging at it lightly, a silent plea for her to remove it. You want to feel her skin against yours, to feel her warmth. You want her. She doesn’t need to be told twice, she quickly pulls the shirt off her head. Your eyes rake down her body and you can’t help but admire her. She’s beautiful. So beautiful.

Your hands reach out to touch her, and she leans into your touch, sighing contentedly as your hands run over her smooth skin. She leans down again, pressing her body flush against yours. Her warmth spreading to you, making you feel so warm inside.

Megan connects her lips with yours again. Your lips moving together, her hands running through your hair and she tugs slightly. A groan slips from your throat and you feel her lips curl up in a smile, she pulls back slightly, staring into your eyes.

“What was that?” She says, a smirk forming on her face.

“N-Nothing…” Your face turning a deep crimson red. “Don’t get cocky, loser..” you grumble.

“Why not?” She purrs, leaning down to your neck, pressing soft kisses along it, making you shiver. “Because.. Because I-” She licks and bites down on a sensitive part of your neck, making you let out a small yelp. You feel her giggle against your neck, before she sucks on the sensitive skin there.

Your hand reaches up to grasp her shoulder, needing something to hold on to as her teeth nibble at the skin.

“F-” You slam your mouth shut with your other hand, to try and hold back the noise that threatened to escape, you weren’t ready to embarrass yourself further.

Megan however notices, and her hand that was tangled in your hair moves to grab your wrist. Holding your arm up over your head, pinning you down. She lifts herself from your neck, her eyes trailing your face. Your face feels like it’s on fire, you’re embarrassed. Megan is staring at you like you’re a delicious meal, ready for her to eat.

Her hand slowly moves to grasp your hand that was holding onto her shoulder, and brings it up with your other, pinning both over your head. Her hips pressing against yours. You gasp and squirm beneath her, and she presses harder, grinding down against you. Making you let out a whimper.

“Baby~” She murmurs, “What’s wrong?” Her tone teasing. You can feel her warm breath fanning over your ear. Your body shakes with the anticipation of what’s to come, you want her to touch you more, to kiss you, to do more to you.

But you’re also so embarrassed. You don’t know if you can handle her seeing you like this, so vulnerable, so needy.

“Mmm…” You try to form words, but they get stuck in your throat. “Tell me,” Her voice is so deep. It makes you tremble, and you can feel your heart racing in your chest.

You open your mouth to try and answer her, but you can’t find the words.

She takes this as an opportunity and she’s kissing you again. You can feel her tongue slipping past your lips, licking and tasting every corner of your mouth.

Your mind goes blank, the only thing you can think of is her. The way her lips feel on yours, her taste. Her scent. It’s intoxicating.

Your body reacts without your control. Wrapping your legs around her waist, pulling her closer. Her hands move from yours, trailing down your sides, resting on your hips, her nails digging in. The slight pain makes you moan into the kiss. Her hips grinding against yours in slow, languid circles. You’re both still in your sweatpants, but you can feel the heat radiating off her.

“W-wait. What if someone c-comes in?” Your breathing is ragged as you pull away, trying to stop her, to get a grasp on the situation.

“We can just lock the door.” She huffs, but she doesn’t get up to go do it, she doesn’t want to stop. Neither do you. But you’re scared of getting caught. “M-Megan!”

She groans, but she doesn’t let go of you. Instead she holds you tightly as she stands up, you squeal and wrap your arms and legs around her, to hold on as she carries you while walking over to the door and turns the lock. “There. Happy now?” She asks, raising an eyebrow. You don’t comment, simply hiding your face against her neck to avoid her eyes.

She giggles then carries you to the couch that’s in the practice room and drops you on it, you land with an ‘oof’ and glare at her. Megan smiles cheekily at you, sitting on top of your thighs, her elbows moving to rest on either side of your head.

You can’t stay mad at her. She’s so cute. You reach up to her and pull her in by the neck. Your lips meet again. You can’t stop kissing her, it’s addicting, and she seems to agree, as she kisses back with the same fervour.

Her hand trails down your body, to the waistband of your sweatpants. She tugs on the band lightly. You breathe heavily at the implication, arching your body towards hers.

She smirks against your lips. Moving to tug the waistband of your pants and pulling them down your thighs.

Your breaths are coming out in heavy puffs. You can feel the cool air of the room on your legs, making you shiver. She doesn’t stop. She pulls them all the way off. Leaving you only in your bra and panties.

Her hands run up and down your thighs. Her nails scratching lightly at the skin. It feels good, and you’re squirming. Your mind is racing with a thousand thoughts, but all of them seem to lead to her.

Your heart is pounding in your ears. Your body is burning with a need. You’re nervous, and your hands are trembling.

Megan moves down your body, placing kisses down your stomach, stopping right above the hem of your panties. Her hand comes up and strokes your clothed core. You whimper and arch into her touch. You need more, but you can’t form the words. You just want to feel more of her, more of what she has to offer you.

“Baby, you’re soaked…” Her voice is deep, her hand rubbing against your clothed core. Your legs tremble. You feel so exposed. You want to cover up, but you also want this. You need this. You’ve been longing for her for so long.

Your hips buck against her hand and you whimper while blushing hard. She smirks at you. “You like that huh? My fingers touching your pussy through your wet panties?~” You cover your face with your arm. You don’t know if it’s to hide your embarrassment or to muffle your moans, probably a little of both.

Megan giggles. “I love how you react to me,” she murmurs. You groan, still covering your eyes. She chuckles again and continues rubbing your pussy, your panties becoming wetter and wetter. The wet fabric sticking to your core, the friction making you whimper.

You moan and squirm as she touches you. Your body is shaking with anticipation. You can’t take it anymore.

“P-please…” Your voice comes out as a whine. You peek out from behind your arm, her eyes meeting yours. The hunger in her gaze obvious and her lips curl up in a smile as she hums.

You don’t think you can take this much longer. She has you at her mercy, she knows it.

You’re so embarrassed. The fact that she has you like this, whimpering and writhing under her, it makes you feel so vulnerable.

Her fingers move to hook under your panties, slowly tugging them down, and you feel so exposed. But it also feels so right. The cool air hits your core and you gasp, arching your body towards her.

You feel so wet, you’re sure there’s a wet patch on the couch below you, but you don’t care.

“Mm~ Look at that, such a pretty pussy…” Megan hums, looking at you with such an intense stare, it’s almost as if she’s looking into your soul.

She spreads your legs wider apart, before leaning down to your pussy, her mouth stopping just over it, her warm breath fanning over it and making your legs tremble.

She gives it a tentative lick and you gasp. It’s not enough, it’s never enough. “Please…” Your voice comes desperate.

“Tell me what you need baby~” Her voice is low, it makes you shiver. “I- I need you to… I want…” you don’t know how to say it. You don’t want to say it. It’s so embarrassing. Megan giggles. “You need to me to… what? Eat you out?~” You moan at her words. “Yes… Please….”

“Mmm… Okay.” Her lips meet your clit, giving it a soft kiss. You gasp, and she starts licking your clit in circular motions, making you squirm and whimper.

She continues licking, and you can’t stop the noises that escape your lips anymore. Your breathing becomes heavier, and you feel so hot. She sucks on your clit and you moan loudly. Your hands reaching up to her hair, tugging at her ginger dyed locks.

You feel her hum against you, and her hands slide up your thighs, squeezing the soft flesh.

Her lips part from you for a moment as she looks at you. You whine at the loss, but your eyes meet hers, and you feel your face burn up. The way she looks at you makes you feel like a prey, you’re completely at her mercy.

“Don’t stop..” You pant. “Please don’t stop.”

She doesn’t. Her mouth returns to your pussy. This time though she starts licking a line down to your entrance, licking it teasingly. You gasp and buck your hips into her. “Ahh! M-Megan! Please…”

She smirks, licking the wetness around it, before slowly pushing her tongue in. Your eyes widen and you let out a moan. She starts moving her tongue inside you, slowly. She hums, making you squirm.

You can feel her tongue curl inside of you, pressing into your walls. You moan and tighten around her. Her hands gripping your thighs tighter, her nails digging into the soft flesh.

The feeling of her tongue is so foreign and weird, but so good at the same time, making you writhe on the couch.

Her hands move down to rub at your clit as she eats you out, and you feel yourself nearing closer and closer to release. Your body is burning. Your mind is going blank, your body shaking with pleasure. “A-ahh… Megan.. I-“ You whimper, your head thrown back against the couch, eyes closed.

Megan pulls back slightly. She takes her fingers away from your clit. “Look at me.”

You do, looking down at her. You wish you didn’t. Her brown iris’ barely visible, her pupils blown wide with lust. Your pussy clenches at the sight, and she smirks before diving back into you, eating you out with renewed vigor. You’re a moaning mess.

The sight of her is burned into your memory. It makes your heart race and your breaths quicken. You feel like you’re going to explode.

Your body is burning and you can’t hold on much longer. Grabbing onto her head and holding on to dear life, you cum, screaming out her name.

Her tongue doesn’t stop though, making you writhe and squirm as the sensation of your orgasm gets drawn out.

Eventually her tongue stops and pulls away, giving you one last kiss on the clit. You moan softly at the feeling, before panting and trying to regain your breathing.

Megan comes back up and lies on top of you, hugging your waist and burying her face into the crook of your neck, her body resting between your legs.

Her warm body against yours makes you feel secure and safe, and you wrap your arms around her.

She kisses your neck softly, then up your neck, and finally to your lips, capturing them in a slow and passionate kiss, you hum softly into the kiss and wrap your arms tighter around her, pulling her closer to you.

The kiss ends, and you can feel her smiling against you. “How are you feeling?” she asks.

You smile and sigh. “I feel good… really good..” “I’m glad,” she murmurs, nuzzling her face against yours.

The two of you stay there, cuddling and talking about anything that comes to mind, but you’re both exhausted. You can feel the fatigue from the long day of practicing and then from… what just happened, creeping up on you, your eyes start drooping.

Megan notices and sits up, looking down at your drowsy state, and chuckles softly, before leaning down to give you one last peck on your forehead, “Let’s get you dressed so we can go home.” She whispers.

“Ugh… i definitely need a shower.” you grumble. You feel disgusting. Sweaty, and now… Sticky…

You look at Megan, who is putting your pants back on for you, and you can’t help the butterflies in your stomach.

What does this mean? Where does this put your relationship with her? You can’t think of that right now though, your mind is foggy.

Megan helps you up, and both of you grab your things, finally leaving the practice room and heading out to the parking lot to get to your car. Putting both your bags in the trunk before getting in the driver’s seat, Megan smirking at you from the passenger side as you sit down.

“You sure you can drive? Your legs were trembling pretty hard~” She teases with a stupid grin, so you flick her forehead.

She lets out an exaggerated pained sound and rubs at her forehead, “Ow~ What was that for?!”

“For being annoying. Plus i’m never gonna let you drive my car. The odds of crashing is increased by a million percent if i let you drive.” You say with a straight face.

She lets out a dramatic gasp, hand on her heart as if you hurt her deeply, before giggling, and you can’t help the small smile that creeps onto your lips. Her laugh makes your chest tighten.

The two of you buckle in and start driving off. Megan has her phone connected to your speakers, blasting music and singing loudly, the car windows open as you both drive through the highway.

You glance over at Megan and smile softly. Her ginger hair is flowing in the wind and she looks so beautiful, her brown eyes are sparkling as she sings.

Maybe you do deserve this happiness. This moment. Just this one moment, before your head starts running again. And maybe you do deserve her love. Maybe.

But that’s for another time.

For now, you’re going to enjoy the moment. Just this once.

ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ

a/n - Holy shit did you really read the whole thing? You sussy baka. Anygays, i have an idea that is kinda a follow up of this, but also its own thing. We’ll see if i do anything. Or maybe this will be my first and last fanfic ever. Istg im shaking while thinking bout pressing ‘post’ on this shit. I gotta wake up in 2 hours for work, Katseye will be the end of me bro. To whoever that reads this, hope you have a mid day and get shot by a grandma ╰( ´︶` )╯

[m4yasnotthatcool]

SID JENKINS X F!READER

angst + comfort hc fic drabble thingy

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

(a/n) nobody requested this, i just made one of my friemds choose 1 or 2 to figure out if i wanna write for sid or freddie, made her choose the format and the genre and then i left her alone😽🎀 (luv u pooks<3)

also girl im listening to some fuck ahh the nbh rn, kill me (i love it, i chose it)

warnings: profanity (its skins, what did you expect?), reader has boobs (very silly goofy, ik.), i think it could be read as gn reader but when i wrote it i had myself in mind so... f!reader?..., also michelle and tony are brefly memtioned at one point (as chelle and tone iykyk), also might contain spoilers(as in, it does contain spoilers)

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•summer is a season both you and your boyfriend, sid, hate dearly;

•you still had sleepovers, only at this time of the year, the heat left over from the day before made it unbearable to sleep like you usually did (which was usually one of you on top of the other if im being honest);

•so here you sat now, layed out on sids bed, a thin sheet covering one of your legs and your lower abdomen, trying to maybe get at least an hour or two of shut eye before the sun would rise once again;

•sitting there, you felt your boyfriend shuffle in his sleep. you didnt think much of it seeing as he often moved while sleeping, until you felt his arm thrown across your abdomen;

• you let him be, thinking that was going to satisfy his yearning for physical contact, but you were wrong;

•not even a couple of minutes later, he rested his head on your chest while his arms hugged you, his hands interlocking behind your back;

•you tried desperately to cool off, kicking the sheets off of your body. unfortunately your attemptes fell unsuccesfull as the obvious heat sorce sitting on top of you had not moved;

•gently lifting him up and laying him next to your spot on the bed, you got up. "ugh, wanker..." you looked at the sleeping teenager next to you. some sheets tangled between your legs made you trip but you cought yourself on his desk, knocking over a few late assignments he had yet to turn in. "well, its not like he would ever get to doing them anyway" you tought as you regained your composure and left the room heading for the stairs.

•you now sat on top of the counter of his kitchen, a glass of cold water in hand from which you periodicly took small sips;

•the only thing you could focus on was the ice cold water sooting your agony as it seemed to indeed help you cool off after the encounter with the sleeping form of your boyfriend;

•"there you are" you heard sids voice come from behind you, a sheepish smile plastered on your face at the tought that his first concern after waking up was you;

•"oh, NOW you wake up" you giggle to yourself as you feel his elbow resting next to you on the counter;

•"what do you mean?" he asks you, tiredness evident in his tone "i mean, yea, ive been sleeping good, but did you try to wake me up or something?";

•"nah, didnt wanna interupt your beauty sleep" you nudge his side playfully "god knows you need it"; "it was just too hot up there, especially with you resting your head between my tits";

•he gasped dramaticly "i would never do such a thing!" ... "sid you and me both know you stare at 'chelles tits whenever we see her and tone' so cut the bullshit" "yea, youre right, im looking at yours right now and they look..." you punch his arm as a warning to not continue what he planned to say;

•"sid, hon, its hot as bollox back in your room, so as much as im flatered by your comments on my great personality id prefer we sleep a little farther apart tonight. you know, just so i dont spontaneously combust while you focus on my boobs on eather side of you head";

•sid slightly laughes before pausing. "can we... go back to bed please?" he avoids your gaze after saying that, making you drop your teasing tone. "sure sid" you say as you hop down from where you were sitting, placing the glass near the sink"are you okay?" you ask your boyfriend,

•"yea, why wouldnt i be?";

•"well, for starters you not only woke up, vut also got out of bed? at 4 am? you?";

•"i didnt know where you went, okay? i just..." he sighed and looked at the floor "i dreamt i lost you too, you know?";

•"well shit..." you murmur as you aproach the boy in front of you;

•you reach out your hands, cupping his face to make him look at you; "look, im here, see? im fine, you dont need to worry, okay?" you say as you reach on your tippy toes, giving him a quick peck before letting yourself fall to your normal height once again;

•"yea... i know" he smiled down at you before continuing "so... can we go now?";

•"sure dude" you smiled back at the boy in front of you before taking his hand and leading him back to his room upstairs;

•its safe to say you didnt get much sleep that night, seeing as he climbed on top of you once again as soon as he feel back asleep, but you didnt get up again; sure, you did try to push him off of you a couple of times, but seeing his persistence you gave up quickly;

---------------------------------------------------------

random ahh hc:

after his mom leaving and his dad dying, bro was an emotional wreck;

he became even more clingy than before, trying to somehow make sure you wont leave him too;

so, in return, you had to make sure he knew how much you cared for him;

you know how he followed tony everywhere? and how he showed up at his house? yea, well scratch that, youre his tony now. he shows up at your house unnanounced and ends up sleeping with you on your bed just because he feels like it. like, this of the codependency between him and tony and youve got the general idea of how hed act and what hed do. (their relationship was nothing if not low key homo erotic. well, at least on tonys part ig-);

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

okay so thats it guys omg

(i havent written anything in a very long time so im sorry if its ass lmao)

anyway, feel free to point out any spelling mistakes or anything like that, i really dont mind

other than that, have a great rest of your day/night!

[cringelordofchaos]

random craig tucker headcanons

has level 1 low support needs autism

gay (not a hc bt whaever.)

special interest is star trek and space in general

watching red racer every day is a routine he mustn't under almost any imaginable circumstance break

got some peruvian ancestry (from which parent's side? heck if i know) + knows a bittt of spanish

his family mostly goes without saying a word to each other during meals

when hes waiting outside the counselor's office for flipping off someone again he sits and either thinks about space or looks at images of stripe on his phone to ease any tension that migth be there

barely ever smiles except when stripe, space or tweek exist

closer to thomas than to laura

his parents taught him everythin ghe knows <33 (emotional constipation and invlulnerability but breaking the ice every one in a while)

sometimes just randomly infodumps about random facts about star strek or space or guinea pigs at the most random of times (actually canon as briefly shown in TFBW)

likes to learn / memorize random facts abt red racer, space, star trek or guinea pigs

random fact i almost mispelled guinea pigs every single time wtmf is wrong with me

for birthdays he mostly gets space-themed stuff cuz everyone knows he loves it

if hes overwhelmed, instead of having a meltdown he'll usually have a shutdown instead

sometimes rants to stripe abt stuff like relationship drama w tweek lmao

he actually liked the clothes he wore during the metrosexual fad, (evident by keeping them in his closet as shown in TFBW)

most emotion he shows is anger/being pissed off

"sooooooo happy" is actually a stim of his and it feels satisfying for him to say it every time hes sooo happy

even when hes sooo happy the most emotion he'll show is a faint smile

doesn't really smile in any pictures unless hes forced to

flipping people off for him is kinda like pushing people away and making them pissed off at him so he wouldnt need to care abt what they think of him and that way he sorta protects himself (mostly saying this bc of one of his attacks in tfbw)(i swear im sane)

hes sometimes overwhelmed from his relationship w tweek but he fucking sucks at communicating (his kryptonite in TFBW is literally communication) he didnt communicate that to tweek just yet (this is mostly shown in buddha box)(NOT SAYING CRAIG DOESNT CARE ABOUT TWEEK HE LOVES HIM HES JUST OVERWHELMED SOMETIMES FROM FEELING LIKE HES COMPLETELY RESPONIBLE FOR HIM ANDN OIEAHDKKSH leave him alone) i like to imagine tweek and craig resolve this at one point cuz im pretty sure they get married in the future and they always push through their struggles together and they rly need each other so .

u can point to a star n hell name it

has space themed pajamas

(StOLEN HC IdK FroM whO) has those glow in the dark stars in his room

i googled it sometime ago n apparently he has blue eyes ? idrc

his childhood dream was to become an astronaut (I FORGOT HOW TO SPELL IT I LITERALLY HAD TO GOOGLE IT I HATE MYSELF) but when he grew up he probably settled for something less extreme. idk what though

either got diagnosed w autism at age 10, in his teens, in his young adult years, or far afterwards, or never at all. when he was told by someone that he migth be autistic he didnt rly even bother to look it up or anything but if he did he would go like "idk i dont really think im autistic i dont think i do (x symtom) all that much" and tweeks like "You do that literally all the time !!!!". but yeah even if he gets diagnosed he doesnt rly end up taking any medication or specializzed therapy but he does gain a larger understanding of himself and how to handle things like shutdowns.)

really picky eater (cuz sensory issues)

hates wearing jeans or similiar uncomfy clothing so he wears exclusively sweatpants (again cuz of sensory issues)

his whole family is autistic actually ive decided so when mr mackey brings up the possibility of him being autistic laura and thomas deny it cuz all the symptoms he shows are what they do as well, andthyere obviously not autistic so neither can craig be.

sometimes he goes over to tweeks house completely unannounced and so does tweek (actuallycanon as shown in put it down)

0verwhelmed by the concept of emotions in general but his relationship w tweek forces him to confront that part of him he tries to avoid and forces him to open up a bit which is actually rly important

since tweek is on meth, he heavily lacks appetite and sometimes skips meals or just doesnt take care of himself enough. craig learns abt this (not the meth part cuz tweek doesnt know that eithrer) so he helps him eat enough food throughout the day so he doesnt fucken starve to death

replies to tweeks texts instantly (actually canon)

tolkiens best friend (canon according to the official south park wiki). clydes a closee second

clyde annoys the fuck out of him but in a friend teasing way and they both care abt each other obvu

i actually dont rly have hcs for him n tolkien sryyyy

jimmy makes the best remarks abt creek (canon)(in put it down he asks craig (when craig doesnt know why tweek isnt in school) "uh oh. trouble in paradise?" and in TFBW during a battle tweek tells craig smth like "ill be right with you super craig!" and jimmy says "OK, i guess illbe the third wheel." anyway live laugh jimmy)

extremely blunt pessimist (canon)

despite his reputation as a troublemaker hes actually a decently polite kid (minus the constant flipping off)

barely goes out the house or does anything exciting. nice n boring. just the way he likes it.

hates changes or sudden surprises or his routine being broken

on the verge of being diagnosed w oppositional defiance disorder

sometimes wears black nail polish (again cuz in tfbw its kinda implied he liked the metrosexual fad n black nail polish migth be a more neutral form of such self expression)(mostly self projecting here)

tumblr user

during one pride month thomas went all out and bought craig a shitton of pride themed merch that he mostly doesnt use

he loves loves lovess seeing tweeks smile !!!1!! hes like omfg finally hes getting a fucking break (tweeks life is a fucking mess)

appears unphased by some stuff even when hes really uncomfortab;le

sometimes sleeps without pillow ehn he deems it more comfortable

deals w some form of small anxiety, not to a disordered amount thogh

maybee has depression ?!? idk

dated a girl in the past cuz he thought he was supposed to, but he felt like "she was holding him back". overall he didnt give a fuck abt their breakup cuz he didnt really care that much abt the relationship and when others questioned him abt it he was confused and didnt know most ppl were heartbroken after a breakup. (sorry i love early craig being a gay mess in denial)

sometimes cartman calls him a pocoyo rip off and each time he feels the strongest urge to either decapitate or defenestrate him

before he n tweek got together he would joke to tolkien abt how he was gonna propose to him when they grew up so he could live off his wealth and not have to work for any money. (SORRY i got this concept from a webcomic (the four of them))

he n tweek send heart emojis to each other (implied)

mostlyyy dry texter (he doesnt mean to)

at one point he n tweek buy a pair of guinea pigs for stripe to befriend and craig names them castor and pollux

he n tweek get married in the future

mostly likes dry, tasteless and cold food (There r obviously exceptions thats why i said mostly)

says and intreprerts things more literally than most

still sarcastic at times

hates huge social events with too many people and noiises

used to blend in well and fit in w mob mentality but doesnt really care anymore

it wont let me write anymo

[kingofthe-egirls]

hihi i love ur hurt/comfort and would like to make a request 🫶🏽 what do u think of reader/you getting injured somehow, and luffy being overprotective & needy about it?? 🫣

so i hope this satisfies your cravings

SPRAINED ANKLE: LUFFY x Y/N

(cw: est relationship, sprained ankle, food mention, kissing, cunnilingus, so many m dashes sorry lmao)

(a/n: this feels like a part 1 but im scared to promise anything in case i dont wanna)

Songs: "All the Stars" by Mree

words: 870

You’re sitting with your foot propped up on a pillow, at the foot of the crow’s nest. Bandages wrap around your sprained ankle, with a silver ice pack freezing your skin.

Luffy is screaming at Sanji for food, as usual, since it’s almost noon and he has to snack at least every three hours. You lick your lips, waiting for the sudden impact you know is coming.

Smack!

Luffy collides into your side, sending the ice pack flying. His arms are wrapped around your waist, his face already smushed against yours.

“Kitty!” He shouts directly against your cheek. You strain away from his megaphone of a voice, squirming in his elastic arms.

“Stop it,” you complain, swatting him away. He groans, slumping against you with his head buried in your hair. He sniffs, once.

“Sorry,” he says, muffled.

You wriggle out from under him, his arms loosely draped over you like ship’s ropes. He’s got his black coat on, with his scarlet cardigan left open over his sculpted torso.

He snaps his hands back to normal. It’s like reeling in a measuring tape.

“Sanji’s making salmon today,” he swipes at his nose, squatting next to you with his dusty sandals planted firmly on the deck’s wooden slats. He’s scanning the horizon, sky reflected in his dark chocolate eyes. He smiles back down at you, squeezing them shut.

“Let’s make snacks!” He lifts you up with strong arms, carrying you bridal style toward the kitchen. He squats down again, still cradling you, as he picks up the ice pack he’d scattered earlier. He stands, his arms under your shoulders and knees, and kisses the tip of your nose. You hide your face in his neck, and sniff.

Cedar.

His sandals slap against the deck as he carries you across. You let your head fall on his shoulder, your eyes slipping closed. He’s carrying you oh so gently, slower than any rubber-wrapped speed shot he usually does.

He side-steps you into the room, softly closing the door behind him. You lift up, expecting to see the kitchen, but you’re surprised.

Luffy’s quarters.

“Captain?” You ask, staring up at him, the sharp underside of his jawline above you. He smiles down at you, sparkling eyes heavy.

He sets you down on the mattress, ass first.

“Wanna taste,” he says, sliding his hands up your legs. He squeezes at your thighs, smiling brightly. The lantern suspended from the ceiling sways above him, rocking in time with the subtle movement of the ship. “S’okay?”

Desperate, you nod.

Captain Luffy smirks, sliding your shorts down with no further hesitation. He sniffs deeply at the apex of your thighs, his lips dusting over the coarse hairs. He presses a kiss to the mound, this place at the center of yourself. He thumbs down your outer lips gracefully, spreading you apart ever so slightly. His lips part in awe.

“Sweetness…,” he whispers, swiping the tip of his tongue across his bottom lip. He softly strokes down the hood of your slick clit. His eyes sear yours as he circles the swollen head, his lashes casting shadows over his squishy cheeks. He smirks. “Say please?”

“Pleeaassseee,” you moan, arching your hips. He snickers, and then leans down on his stomach to nestle his face in front of your cunt. He noses at your clit, smooching the base of your entrance. He stays there, for a second. Just silently reintroducing his face to your pussy.

His hand skims down your leg before he hooks his fingers beneath your knee, setting it over his shoulder.

Your sprained ankle finds a comfortable place beside his spine, and you settle back into the bed.

You close your eyes.

****

Luffy sucks on your swollen clit, stealing little kisses in between. His thumb presses inside your pussy, squirming around as he buries it deep. He slathers his tongue over you, starting to thrust his thumb inside and out. Something flutters around his digit—something deep like it’s at the center of the earth—something forbidden and unseen and you’re squeezing—

He hisses, “S’tight, shit—,” before sucking harshly on your clit as you squirm. He speeds up inside you, lust clouding his senses as you start to sound out your pleasure from beneath him. He stuffs his tongue inside you, slurping at your juices as you scream (cream)--so he laughs and laughs inside of you. His voice vibrates through your abdomen as you seize and squirm and start to unravel beneath his tongue and his teeth and he’s he’s he’s um oh god he’s———

Everything.

Spots dance in front of your eyes, so you try to blink them away. Spit drips down your face.

Luffy rasps over you, his wheezy breaths scratching in his throat.

“Kiss me,” you say, so he does.

His lips taste like you.

He groans as you slide your tongue inside his mouth, coaxing him to start stroking it against yours.

He swoons into the kiss, something high-pitched and squeaky sounding from the back of his throat. His body melts against you.

“Luffy…,” you whisper, bitten lips swollen and stinging as you both devour each other’s faces. Like animals, sometimes. He scrapes his teeth against your cheek. “So sexy.”

“Thanks, princess.”

****

[sturniolotrip-samandcolby-lover]

Matt sturniolo -little bean

Warnings -swearing,mention of abortion, mention of sex , vomiting use of y/n, arguing .Small age gap (matt 20 and reader 22) silent treatment

Angst/fluff Matt

Author note -thinking of making this into a series so let me know what you all think

Part 1

Word count-2k

I brush the hair out of my face ,as I wake up to a empty house.The house was full of silence as my boyfriend Matt and his triplets brother had left the house already for some business meetings taking place at the ware house.I look at the clock on my phone 10:47am shit thats late for me and im still shattered i dont even feel like ive slept at all. Im awoken from my sleepy daze by my stomach rumbled ,I get up brush my hair quickly and head to the kitchen to get something to eat .

I raid the fridge and cupboards in search for something to eat , I decide to have chopped up lettuce,pickled gherkins and some jolly ranchers .I finish my breakfast and head to the couch to watch some TV ,as I sit down I see a note that's been left on the coffee table it said 'hey baby me Chris and nick have got a few more meetings today then what we thought might be abit later home will bring back some late lunch with us .Matt xxxx'. A smile is present on my face the whole time I read his quick note with my cheeks blushed , Matt's smallest actions can still have a massive effect on me even after being together for over a year now .

I flick through the channels as nothing can satisfy me , I decided to open the YouTube app and put some Sam and Colby on specifically the conjuring from last year's hell week .I'm half way through the video when all of a sudden I feel so nauseous I can feel it building in my stomach like a tornado swirling around inside of me , it starts of slow and the next thing I know I'm running to the nearest bathroom thankfully it's matt and i shared one .I throw the toilet seats up and fall to my knees and close my eyes as the first bit of vomit comes rushing up my throat and out of my mouth .I sit there for the next hour bringing up whats left of this mornings breakfast and last nights dinner.

After minutes of waiting for the sickness to come back .I decided to stand up and reach for my toothbrush and paste ,as I brush my teeth I start to think of anything that could of gave me a bug or if there was a stomach bug going around .After minutes I've came to know conclusion of my sickness when it hits me .....shit Matt and I are usually careful if we don't use a condom we pull out or we get the morning after pill but a while ago I joined the triplets on their 6 million subscribers video .During the night having all the huts to ourselves Matt and I decided to get the hut as far from nick and Chris as possible .It safe to say there was some very animalistic behaviour going on in our tent that night , in the heat of the moment no condom or pull out was used and I could exactly get plan b pill from the gift shop so we just left it and thought well it's not going to happen .

I decide that before I start to get myself worked up in a panic , I'll go to the shop and do a test before the boys get back .Once I feel like I won't be sick again I go and throw some leggings and a jumper on leaving my top to go bra-less as I'm reminded of some achiness in them .I throw some crocs on and grab my car keys as i head out .

*Arrives back from shop*

I walk back into the house and I'm thankful that it's still silent meaning I'm the only one here .This is my first ever pregnancy scare so I'm not expert , I end up buying 7 different tests and some mints to settle my stomach and yet some more gherkins.I wonder around the kitchen with my hands full of tests in search of a cup or container as i dont feel like peeing 6 different times .I decided to keep one unused so i can do it again with matt incase he doesn't believe me .After finding a disposable cup I drink 3 cups of water and walk around the house doing some cleaning while I wait for the water to hit my bladder .I feel a urge to pee and walk to the bathroom, I position the disposable cup where it's supposed to be and let me bladder do it's job I open all the tests and when I'm finished place the 6 sticks into the cup .I start pacing the bathroom but decided that wouldn't be the best thing to do in this situation .So I make my way to the kitchen and put a kettle on figuring that a hot drink may help my nerves while killing the time awaiting the tests.I walk back to the bathroom once then minutes are up and as I pull all the tests out I stand in shock as they all say the same ....I'm pregnant.

Fuck fuck fuck is the only word that is running in my head , what am I going to do ,what am I going to say , what's Matt going to say his career is at its prime right now what will a baby do with this .Fuck their triplets , twins run on my side of the family what if there's more then one baby in there .I hold onto one of the tests in my shaky hands as I pace the bathroom.After minutes of walking around the small white tiled room I decided to hide all the tests and put them in a draw in Matt and my bedroom and I decide to text matt.

Y/n: hey babe was just wondering do you know how long you're gonna be xx

My phone pings instantly telling me that most likely it woul be Matt had texted me back

Matt:yeah not long just grabbing some maccies won't be long everything okay at home ? Xx

Y/n: yeah just got something to talk to you about xx

I avoid my phone until he gets back .I'm startled as I hear the door fling open and just one set of foot steps ."y/n?" I hear his familiar voice Matt is calling after me ."in the living room" I shout back to him .Seconds later he appears looking as perfect as usual "where's Chris and nick?" I ask him "they was fucking around when we was supposed to be signing cards for merch getting sent out so they went back to the warehouse to do their signing , Laura is gonna drop them off later tho .What's this thing you wanna talk about?" I pause with words moving rapidly around my head trying to think of the right way to tell him that I'm now pregnant with his child .I decide that no words are the right words so I take him by the hand and lead him to the bathroom.

His body stills while his eyes move over what the tests all say .The room is silent , too silent."Matt says something " I say breaking the silence ."when did it happen" he says still not taking his eyes off the tests "at the safari , in the hut that night" I respond back to him "fuck" he mutters to himself as he storms out the door .I stand there in silence as my eyes well up with tears.I hear the jingle of Matt's car keys and the door slamming telling me that Matt had left again and gone in his car .I walk into the living room now numb with emotions my hand rests on my lower stomach now knowing that through the layers of skin and muscle is our baby ,my baby the size smaller then a bean in this moment I know that I've got to keep this baby wether Matt wants it or not .

Minutes pass and my nauseous feeling comes over me again as I run to the bathroom again.I spend all the best part of an hour again with my head in the toilet when I stand up again feeling weak at my knees I brush my teeth for the 3rd time today trying to get rid of the vile aftertaste left in my throat .I hear the door go again but i hear 3 set of footsteps this time ,and voices nick ,Chris and matts voice ."what are you gonna do bro?" I hear Chris ask Matt "I don't know"he responds "well you and y/n have gotta talk this out Matt you can't just leave her in the bathroom like you did last time " I hear nick snap at the boys .

"Y/n" I hear nick call out me ."I'm on the bathroom just about to come out" I shout back as I walk into the kitchen .Matt's angry stare softens as he seen my face , I'm now pale and clammy with my skin layered in a thin amount of sweat ."congratulations" Chris says breaking the tension in the room "thank you" I say with a half smile ."so I think you two have gotta talk about this" nick states ."I'm not getting rid of it" I say quickly that being the only thing I'm sure of right now ."I wasn't even going to suggest that" Matt says with anger in his voice .Nick ,places his hand up to Matt in a urge to shush him "calm Matt" he says to him."is it mine ?"matt asks me looking me in the eye "are you fucking kidding me" i say in the exact tone that matt has.Nick and chris take this as a hint and both excuse themselves to different rooms "yeah I'm being real" he says raising his voice , it being full with anger ."you're the only person I've slept with matt you know that" i say to him storming off into our shared room .

*Few hours later*

I hear a knock at the bedroom door hoping that it's Matt ."come in" I shout sounding optimistic.The door opens and nick strides in with a sorry smile on his face "so that was intense" he says as he sits down next to me on the bed "yeah" i agree with him ."so i dont know if this is the right thing to say but im really glad your'e keeping the baby" he says nudging my arm ."yeah i am too , i just hope that matt feels the same " i say smiling properly for the first time today ."alright its getting late so I'll leave you to sleep i heard creating a baby can be tiring "he says with a small laugh.

Just as nick leaves the room Matt enters it , he ignores me acting as if I'm not in the room as he goes to the wardrobe grabbing some spare pillows and duvet he walks back out of the room as I sit in bed listening to him getting comfortable on the sofa .I think to myself how much of a long night I'm in for I can never sleep properly when I'm not with Matt and even worse knowing that he's mad at me .As the thoughts come to my head added with the extra hormones that pregnancy has brought on my eyes start to fill with tears when they fall down my face .I have so many questions running over my head thinking how I'm going to bring up a baby by myself although nicks previous words bring some form of comfort to me .As the clock strike 4 am and im still wide awake and emotional i decide to head to the bathroom and take a calming bath .Im thankful that both nick and chris's rooms are on different levels as I run the tab the sound of water echos through the room .I rid of my clothes and get into the bath now full of bubbles I close my eyes in attempt to relax.

Suddenly my nauseousness creeps up on me again , who ever called morning sickness 'morning' has never experienced this cus it seems to be all throughout the day already .I jump up from the bath with my wet hair sticking to my body as I move quickly to the toilet I throw the lid up and sit on the floor as bile begins to leave my body .I startled as a soft towel is wrapped around my body ,I look up to see Matt crouching next to me with his eyes full of tears himself .His hand rubs circles on my back as I start gagging again ."let it out baby it's okay" he whispers I release bile 3 more times as I pull back and rest my head on Matt's shoulder as he pushes my hair out of my face ."come on let's go to bed and talk " he says so quietly careful not to wake his two brothers up .He stands up and picks me up bridal style still with the towel wrapped around me .He carries me to our bed and uses his foot to close the door as he places me gently on the bed .He goes to our wardrobe and fetches me some shorts and one of his tops , he helps me get dressed as my body is weak from the vomiting.Once I'm dressed I lay in bed as Matt walks over to the other side of the bed and jumps in to bed with me .I sit waiting for him to speak "y/n im sorry for what i said and done earlier i know that you would never cheat on me and id never ask you to get rid of it .Whatever you choose ill support you .Im sorry ive treated you like that when you needed me the most ..." I cut his speech off with a kiss "I know , I know babe and we're going to be fine I want to keep this baby tho" I say to him looking him in his eyes "we're going to be a mommy and daddy" he says to me smiling ."we best tell our parents" I say to him before falling asleep in his arms .

[bulbabutt]

Can I ask your thoughts on TF One? I have mixed feelings about it, but I’m very curious about what other people think (this can be an invitation to rant if you want it)

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH thats all ive BEEN doing but you've asked for it

its. so fucking. like okay you could tell from the trailers that it was just gonna be your AVERAGE ass blockbuster movie. its tone was not giving anything original in the slightest. you know, mcu slop. not like... that everything mcu IS slop, but like youve seen unoriginal basic blockbusters before im sure. vague 'we gotta save the world' types.

starting with characters: we have quirky funny hero who makes bad jokes, hes starlord but not as thought out. childish and hopeful, but never wrong. we have a secondary 'comic relief' who... feels useless cuz orion is already the jokester, hes there to be awkward and make the others uncomfortable, but like... ahahha hes violent now. hes pretty useless to the story. and we have cliche ass woman side character whos there to be.... the fuckin scarlett johansen type, i feel like i dont even need to specify what i mean by that. youve seen marvel movies or marvel like movies. like elita in this movie bumps that prime arcee problem i have up to 11, heres shes....... a career woman. who is FINE being taken advantage of and not being compassionate cuz THERES WORK TO DO.... like. i mean think of those romcoms where a woman has NOOOO time for dating kind of thing. and then the only character worth a damn (also the only... not shitty SOUNDING one aka a good VOICE actor whos being a CHARACTER and not just 'hey everyone you know this guys voice') is megatron, and hes not as well thought out as he should be. like they do TRY with his arc, but its not satisfying enough, they dont HOLD ON HIM enough i think. and then hes the bad guy when HE DIDNT DO ANYTHING WRONG........

this movie bumps the usual 'transformers lore is boring long and confusing as hell' to 11 cuz its a movie, trying to fit in lore that usually is spaced out over the course of a tv show. and tv shows with all that lore tend to be annoying anyway, but JESUS in a movie is it ever annoying. but its not that thought out! like. ive said it a hundred times before, but i HATE the 13. i hate the fact we have fucking jesus and the apostles to the LITERAL god primus, it makes the story fucking basic as hell. it makes the politics surrounding the war religious and messy and BAD! THIS IS ABT ROBOTS WHY IS IT A HOLY WAR NOW!!!

and showing that the one guy who WASNT chosen by god to be the bad guy whos lying to the people ABOUT being chosen by god is bad! we should know thats bad COME ON. and his whole thing is 'oops ive fucked up and now im sacrificing my people to these vague alien invaders cuz im a big dumb idiot and i have no plan on how to deal with this tee hee' like. how you gonna make the quintessons this lame. theyre vaguely animal like but willing to make a deal and stuff. its really poorly thought out.

also. from the trailers they made it look like 'oh no, elita and airachnid are gonna have that GIRL beef with each other, so we can justify the girls fighting' but.... they didnt even do that. airachnids not really a character, shes just... the only person whos on sentinels side. for some reason. but really its just cuz shes physically weird, and she could easily be replaced by an object shes not a character, shes the camera with the proof. (something something girl transformers are always motorcycles or spiders cuz sexual dimorphism of alt modes LMAO)

like. i did not care for prime ive said that a million times here, but at least that shows telling and not showing gave you like 'okay so orion and megatron used to be partners who started a revolution together, and their political beliefs are what splintered the planet into autobots and decepticons'. but HERE. its so fucking vague?? its like. ok what split them apart was.... the fact megatron wanted to kill the (according to the movie) only guy who was causing any problems for the whole planet?? WHEN BUMBLEBEE WAS JUST SHOWN KILLING LIKE 20 GUYS 5 MINUTES EARLIER???

anyway that 'death' scene for orion was ripping off beast machines and while i had issues with beast machines at the time FUCK YOU! they did that for A REASON!!!! IT WAS NARRATIVELY IMPORTANT TO HAVE HIM DO THAT! IT WAS BAD WHEN PRIME RIPPED IT OFF AND THIS RIPPED IT OFF WORSE!!!!!! FOR WHAT!!! 'oh optimus runs in the way of megatrons gun to save the, i repeat, guy who is SINGLEHANDEDLY responsible for opression on their planet?? thats fucking stupid. thats genuinely so stupid, and while him being like 'im done saving you' COULD be fun and cool and interesting there justttttt wasnt enough of it??

like what i find interesting is that megatron and ELITA had more in common, they were BOTH trying to use the fucked up system they knew was fucked up to get ahead. and what do we get out of that? some BULLSHIT 'girlboss' speech that belongs in 2011 from elita about 'im better than you, i could do everything right cuz im cool and badass and smart and better than you. but.... youre a big dummy with a heart so you should be in charge' GROOOOOOOOOOANNNNN

people always wanna harp on me for being like 'idk man, i like g1 cuz i think theres more interesting ideas that could be readapted better by people who care' but instead we have to turn characters and stories and ideas about politics into basic ass hollywood blockbuster vague nonsense to fit the ideals of the wider movie going audience. and i think thats bullshit.

i think transformers should go back to ripping of star wars and im not kidding. stop making the autobots the fucking leaders of the planet, youre making them complicit in a corrupt worldstate and turning them into fascists who oust non believers. they started as fucking scrappy rebels, take me the fuck back if youre not even gonna go so far as to say 'maybe the autobots do the WRONG thing' like they did in animated.

i think people only like this movie cuz theyre too fucking used to the GOD AWFUL BAYVERSE, and so they think this is GOOD. its not!! its not smart at all!!! go watch sci fi shit from before 2007 I SWEAR TO GOD!!!! EDUCATE YOURSELF!!!!

the best tf movie IS STILL the transformers the movie 1986 cuz it was COOL and DIFFERENT and well animated and had a good soundtrack and was full of cool characters! maybe it was a lil goofy, but THAT message of hope in the face of despair speaks WAY louder than THIS SHIT..... if youre gonna force the conflict to be political you need SOME UNDERSTANDING OF POLITICS....

im sorry. ive only seen the movie once but im just.... it encapsulates every fucking issue ive been having with the transformers franchise since watching prime. where it got fucking religious and poorly thought out. i know its those god awful bay movies faults but JESUS its been sticking around WAY too long and im tired.