#im starting to get more used to using 4 fingers for ensemble so i was like! lets try phony!
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having not played rhythm games for months and then picking up kamicity ensemble ive gotten SO bad at proseka. i was like its so over but im finally down to 5 greats it may possible to ap maximizer ex yet.
#god i would love to ap maximizer in ensemble ensembles beat map for maximizer is incomparable to proseka its SOOO good#proseka had so many options to make the maximizer beat map so so fun and interesting and they just did not#its so unfulfilling. speaking from playing both ex & master modes. theyre so unfulfilling#ensemble doesnt even have sliding or flick notes & its 10x as satisfying to play. they did sooo good with maximizer#im glad they didnt make it a glitch song but its they decided to make a glitch ver in the future it would also be amazing#im starting to get more used to using 4 fingers for ensemble so i was like! lets try phony!#i was not prepared to need at least 5 fingers to play & i was always in the wrong position for the multi notes#so rough but it would be sooooo fun once i can manage it#the lanes are rough for me in ensemble tho im constantly missing for not spreading my fingers enough. sad.#also it loves to drop inputs for me. i have very clearly pressed to at least get a good & it just. doesnt register#it also doesnt help i play ensemble sooo slow. and then going to prosekas 10.9 speed is. so fast.#all the notes are coming to beat me up at once.#its fine after playing one song but the first one is rough#i do love proseka beat maps a lot of them are so perfect but they just did not deliver with maximizer unfortunately#i had. SOOO much hope after realize. realize is so fucking fun to play. maximizer did not live up to that & it very well couldve#if shuuen touhikou ever gets in they better do that one justice#this is also not to say i think prosekas maximizer beat map is Bad. its not bad its just averagely fun to me#we couldve had fun little details in the long notes & some of the tap note arrangements dont sit perfectly with me but its not bad#like kyoufuu all back? perfect beat map playing master is so fucking fun i love that#compared to that the maximizer beat map is so nothing#ensemble beat maps are usually really fun too i hope SOOOO badly laboratory & either kannagi or yamete kudasai get added#at the very LEAST. PLEASE. olease put in One song where someone even Sort Of knows how to tune rime#bc these songs do Not show off how good she is. they Are good songs. in general. people cant tune rime tho for some reason#.... thats a different rant ive gone on before & will again but we've lost the point of the post by now
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Samusil | myg | P R O L O G U E
summary: It was always known that you were the family disappointment. So naturally, you fled. With a looming school debt, alcoholic tendencies, and no luck whatsoever in keeping a job for more than a month, you were at your wits end until you finally cave into working at Bang-Lenzo. You’ve only ever heard horrors of the place and its manager. But maybe, just maybe, that office would become your safe haven.
pairing: myg x reader genre: strangers to lovers au | office!yoongi au | future angst? fluff? word count: 7.5k tw: alcohol as coping mechanism, subjects that might hit close to home note: inspired by The Office US, this is only a teaser, a taste, of a project im working on, i wont release anything besides this until its ready, so pls endure !! <3
Life was a bitch to everyone, and ever since you flunked out of Business School, it’s proven you weren’t the exception. It was an already supersaturated field with bright minded, innovative entrepreneurs. And you? Realized halfway through that the business world wasn’t cut out for you. With an overwhelmingly expensive college debt for an unfinished degree that your parents refused to pay for, you became the official family disappointment. After two years of being done with their bullshit, you finally packed your stuff and moved as far away as possible, hoping to start anew in the small town of rural Yangpiji.
Just because you had some level of education, didn’t mean it would get you quite far. It’s done the opposite, in fact. Jobs with higher wages frowned upon your incomplete studies, and jobs that didn’t give a fuck if you finished high school, didn’t pay enough to deal with their idiocies or take care of the bills for that matter. One heated argument with the owner of the last food joint you worked at was the final straw. Throwing your dirty apron at his face, you walked out of there without a single care in the world, and for the moment, you felt powerful. At least until you waltzed into Slack Jack’s and sat at the bar that night, head buried into your palms.
“Rough shift?” Your eyes peered from behind your fingers, focusing on a shot being placed in front of you. And boy, were you thankful for it. Without speaking, you threw that shit back and let it burn your throat, the only consolation for the situation you were in. “I’ll take that as a yes.”
“Jackson, I quit.” Feigned shock played on the bartender’s face as he cleaned a beer mug. You weren’t the only one who searched for new beginnings in Yangpiji. In front of you was Jackson Wang, owner and proprietor of Slack Jack’s. He had moved there from abroad no more than ten years ago in hopes to reinvent himself, and against all odds did. He had been your close friend for the past three years since moving. Quite frankly the only good thing this area had to offer was Jackson and his cheap drinks that get you hammered quick.
“Really? I wouldn’t have thought!” His hand shot up to cover his mouth, chuckling at your bland reaction. Rolling your eyes so far into your skull, a heavy sigh escaped from within.
“I’m serious. I quit. I quit work, I quit life, I quit Yangpiji- I’m tired… I hate that I’m a jobless 28-year-old drunk, with nothing to offer this world besides how to survive on garlic noodles and rum.” Your hands traveled the air around you as you searched for words, “I can’t even afford to make them Jjajang Noodles, Jack. JJAJANG!” A small shriek spewed out as you downed another shot, you stopped counting after the third one. Dread and sorrow pooled around you in a matter of seconds. You were at your wits end. And you couldn’t say you were past your peak, since frankly you never took off the ground to begin with. “I’m a failure, Jackson.”
Widened eyes traveled the room trying to find any words of consolation, but the bartender couldn’t find anything other than pity. His hands moved quickly, putting away the bottles before he was tempted to offer you anymore. He usually served you on the house because he knew of your struggles, but you also drank your weight in alcohol, and he didn’t want to go broke any time soon.
“Listen, chief. There’s still an option…” Oh no… You didn’t want to hear it; already knowing what was coming. “The Bang-Lenzo Yangpiji Branch is still hiring for a secretary; you should test it out.”
Ah, yes. Bang-Lenzo Inc. Somehow a successful company in the dying paper industry. One of the first to drop their deforestation contracts for their supplies and switch entirely to recycled paper. Since most companies didn’t believe in the Save The Trees movement, most of their major clients dropped them and signed contracts with Bang-Lenzo instead. Working for them would be an achievement… If only the branch in your city wasn’t a nut house.
“Jackson…” Elongating the last syllable, you groaned. “I’ve heard horror stories of people that have tried to work there, it’s chaos. No one ever lasts a full week…” The idea of even bothering to work there was dreadful. The workers there were a nightmare, so you’ve heard. But their manager? A complete lunatic. Unprofessional, immature, inappropriate, and other negative connotations have been used to describe the young manager, Jeon Jungkook. Rumor had it he was the top salesman for 4 years straight before the old manager died. When the company crunched the numbers and stats, he was technically the most qualified for the manager position and had managed to keep it for the past 5 years.
Amidst your internal struggle, Jackson raised an eyebrow and cut you straight. “It pays $15 an hour, plus benefits.” On instinct your hand shot up, doing quick maths in the air. Holy cow. You shifted your attention to Jackson so fast you almost snapped your neck.
“That’s almost $30k a year!”
“More than you’ll ever make busing tables, that’s for sure.” He had a point. And, you were desperate. Maybe not so much at first, but $15 is $15 and if it meant sacrificing your sanity for survival, well damn it, you were down for the count.
“Guess I’m speaking to Jeon…”
On Jackson’s commands and with a set of instructions, you left the bar early. ‘Prep for tomorrow, rest and sober up.’ Three things that you were never quite well doing at the very last minute. Bits and pieces of information were fed to you, in order to try and snatch the job at its core.
‘From what I’ve heard, he likes to go in on Saturday mornings to catch up on some work.’ All that meant was that you had to wake up early, and your suspected hangover did not like that. You did what any ‘sane’ person would do and popped in a pain killer and a nausea reliever, an old family remedy to wake up fresh and ready.
‘At the breakfast buffet two blocks over, I once saw him obliterate the cheddar biscuits… And I think he has a thing for sausages too.’ Really, it seemed like Jackson knew Jungkook too well, but honestly so did the town through word of mouth. That last bit of information is what made you scour the nearest convenience store for the necessary ingredients to make the piece of resistance, the key to securing your assets. With this bread you were going to get your bread.
---
Morning came quickly, as you had gone to bed late baking and sorting out your clothes for the day. Sporting one of your finer ensembles just to make a statement, you were ready to take life by the throat. A dark gray, tight pencil skirt above the knee, a light beige button up blouse with pearled buttons, and a blazer to match the skirt. You applied a fair amount of neutral colored makeup in order to rejuvenate your features to not look like you’ve been miserable for the past 10 years. You finished off the look by slipping on some classic, black Mary Jane’s.
For the first time since inheriting this 1999 Verna, you were glad the aircon was a hunk of junk and only blew hot steam. Of course you drove with the windows down to receive actual fresh air, but you angled the conductors towards the biscuits, keeping them toasty and warm as if freshly baked that morning. Jeon Jungkook would be in the palm of your hands and the job would soon be in your possession. Financial stability: here I come.
Parked outside of the building, you painted on a mask with all of the false confidence and determination you could muster, before any ounce of regret could slip in. Once the clock hit 8:55am, it was time to go. You grabbed the biscuits, which you had ever so ‘lovingly’ placed in a basket upping the charm factor, and headed for the entrance.
I need money. I need money. I need money. It was the mantra of your choosing as you took the unnervingly long elevator ride up to the Bang-Lenzo office where your unannounced meeting with Jeon Jungkook awaited. Yes, unannounced. Obviously to anyone with common sense of time, 9:00pm wasn't a viable hour to schedule a meeting for the next morning, so you decided to take the determined approach and show up like you already owned the place. For the first time you had a goal and were dead set on obtaining it. Nothing would stop you from getting that income. I need money.
‘Bang-Lenzo INC.’ read the door sign in front of you. For a moment you closed your eyes, fighting off the urge to walk back to your car and forget this place. But your mantra was quick to erase such thoughts. I desperately need money. Overpowered with feigned confidence, you strutted into the main office. Immediately you were faced with your soon to be desk. It was large and crescent shaped, spacious and tall. In a room to your right, you heard a muffled voice. Surely that was Jeon’s office. With a huff of air, you went to knock on his door.
“Huh? C-come in?” Faint and hurried clattering was heard from inside. With suspicion, you went for the door, revealing behind it the manager, and possible future boss: Jeon Jungkook. Sporting nothing but a set of gray sweats, disheveled hair, and a headset placed around his neck. “Did you need something?”
The scene in front of you made you lose focus for a split second. You had never seen him before, and by personality description you expected many things except him being viciously attractive. And also a gamer, noted by the Overwatch screen on his computer. The thought left you in a split second, you only had one goal and it did not include sleeping with the manager to reach it. You learned that only works once and it’s never rewarding.
“I’m here for the secretary position? I figured since it’s early and unannounced I’d bring in a little something to eat.” A sweet and charmful voice oozed from your throat, foreign to your body unless it was summoned. The confused manager’s doe eyes lit up once they set intensely on the basket making way to his desk. “I hope you enjoy warm biscuits.” Before he could even question what was going on, you were already sitting across from him, placing your intricate resume in front of his grubby self, you were ready to snatch this job from his hands. He had already fallen victim to the biscuits. You could see the revival in his eyes as soon as he took the first bite. Butter and cheese were the key, but it was the mini weenies hidden inside that sealed the deal.
Jungkook didn't bother to offer it much of a glance. Instead he redirected his attention to you. “Are you good with computers and organizing?” Bread crumbs and cheese lingered on the corner of his lips as he spoke, you could have sworn some spittle came in your direction as well. Upon further inspection, the food stains on his sweats may have started a whole community of bacteria. Any office fantasy of getting railed by a manager quickly died with this individual, and some word of mouth started to make sense.
“Yes. Anything document and spreadsheet related I can handle, not to mention emails, and of course scheduling agendas-“
“And you made these? From scratch?” He held a biscuit in awe, and you couldn’t help but feel success in your future.
“I did.” You offered a soft, shy smile. Another desperate attempt to charm him for the job.
“Do you think you can bring them in on Monday mornings? Starting this Monday? Tell you what, I’ll raise you to $16 an hour if you do.” You choked on your saliva, instantly entering a coughing fit. He really might be off his rocker, but in this economy, who cares? Not you, because for simply baking Sunday nights you get an extra $40 a week. With this bread, you get your bread.
“I certainly can! It would be my pleasure.” “Great! Then let’s sign the paperwork and make it official.” He rummaged through his files to retrieve the contract. “Gosh, I can’t wait to tell the other managers all about my new beautiful secretary who cares for me, and cooks for me, and, who knows; maybe even have a secret romance with me?” There it was, the inappropriateness everyone talked about. Jungkook didn’t give you time to come out of your confused state. “Ha! I’m kidding! It’s just a joke. We’re professional. Professional. We’ll of course report our relationship to HR.” A noise seemingly from The Grudge escaped you. There was an ungodly uncomfortable silence before he decided to kill the awkwardness of the situation.“KIDDING AGAIN!”
You didn’t question the lacking interview, or how Jungkook was quick to hire you. It was the most unethical thing in the world and yet? You didn’t care. You were one step closer to financial stability, and that was all you could ever ask for. With the contract filled out and already added to the payroll, you had officially signed your soul over to the white collar world. Serving as the official secretary of Jeon Jungkook. He truly was an oddball, and somewhat inappropriate, but he didn’t give any indication of being an asshole of a boss. Too friendly and annoying, but you had the gut feeling he might just be a decent enough boss. Or at least not so much of an idiot that you can tolerate working for. Besides, the money’s good.
Walking out of and looking back at the building, your eyes spotted his office windows, with him behind, cheerfully waving you off as he ate the remains of the biscuits. A subtle reminder, you needed to prep your baking game.
---
With a more dressed down version of what you wore to the impromptu interview, you drove your car over to the office building. Only this time, pulling up to the parking lot as you were now an employee. Jungkook’s car was already there. A sleek, black Equus. In comparison to its ancestor, your Verna, it exuded upper management presence. He clearly was a successful 27 year old, and you aspired to be able to reach as much coin as he probably had some day. Really, all you ever wanted in life was money. Were you willing to work much for it though? Probably not, but you didn’t have a choice. It was time to get in gear and make up for lost time. 10 years of your life, in fact.
You stopped thinking about past mistakes before you could let them affect your first day. Taking the biscuits and purse in a hurried manner, you rushed up to the office. Only an hour earlier than the rest, but you still had things to prove, if only to yourself.
Upon arrival, Jungkook was busy fiddling on your computer. Documents and folders were neatly spread out on a corner of your desk, waiting to be filed and sorted.
“Hey Y/N, You’re early! I hope you don’t mind, I’m setting up your company email so you can quickly get started.” His quick fingers stopped abruptly, for just a moment, his hand reaching for the biscuits. “And thank you for these, I didn’t think you’d actually make them.” He cocked his head in surprise and took a bite before finishing setting up your computer and programs. The comment left you with an odd feeling.
“Of course I would, I promised it.” Truthfully you only agreed because of the pay raise, but you would still hold up with it. No complaints. “Why did you up my pay grade if you didn’t think so?”
“I don’t know, incentive? I figured this would be an easier way to have someone stay for longer than a week at least.” Shaking his head for only a brief second, he continued. “But there’s something about you that tells me you’re going to be the perfect fit here. You have potential, Y/N. That’s why I hired you.” What the fuck was he talking about, ‘Potential’? You were a 28 year old deadbeat, a failure and a degenerate according to your relatives. You had anything but potential. Noting the hesitation to answer, Jungkook changed the subject swiftly.
“And it’s done. I’ll give you a quick rundown of things on the machine and then we can work with organizing my schedule, I am so out of sync with this company and I haven’t a clue when my next meetings are.” With a clap, he stood up and motioned you to the seat. He continued to peruse through the biscuit basket, searching for the ‘cheesiest ones’.
After a tour throughout the company programs and where supplies and files were around the office, the other workers started to arrive in a timely fashion. Some didn’t bother to give you the time of day, but others decided to greet you as soon as they walked in. Particularly a few of the guys from accounting and sales were quite enthusiastic to greet you. If you remembered correctly, the younger pair of them were from Accounting; Jimin and Taehyung, they were really nice, a bit shy as were you, but very polite and warm. You watched as they sat at their corner and bickered slightly, but it seemed to be in honest fun. The one from sales, Hoseok, was the opposite in terms of shyness. He welcomed you with the most charming of smiles and emphasized that if you ever needed a helping hand around the office to not hesitate to ask him. He cheerfully chatted your ear for a few minutes giving you a small idea of what a day in the office might be. “It’s not that bad once you get used to it, you just need to give us a chance.” You heard his hidden pleas. Many people came and went from this place and their tongues never ceased to express their distaste for it. Even most of your coworkers gave off an air of annoyance with the place. You couldn’t blame them, but basing your experience on first impressions only, it could be worse. Only time will reveal the shithole everyone else claims this place to be.
It was 20 minutes past 8:00am and the once empty office was now filled and working. Jungkook came out of his office ever so often, glancing over the the desks, ‘tsk tsk tsk’ is all he ever spoke before going back behind his door. You thought to ignore his manner and focus on organizing his schedule based on the emails he forwarded you. He had plenty of meetings, webinars and conference calls to attend, and they were all scattered around. On your shared calendar, you added the event reminder and description for each and every one for the next month, even going an extra step to add reminders on your own calendar the day before, just to make sure he’s up to date.
A new email displayed on the screen, an impromptu conference call for Jungkook in 10 minutes labeled ‘URGENT’. You were about to head to his office to notify him, but you remained seated as the entrance door swung abruptly, startling you just enough to make you forget your name and the company you now work for. All you saw was a coat being placed on the rack next to you with an exasperated sigh escaping the core of the individual. Right away, it was clear that if there was anyone in the entire building that hated having to wake up early in the morning just to show up to work in this unfortunate place more than you, it was him. Like the majority of the employees, he looked straight up miserable, even behind dark colored sunglasses. The freshly made venti Iced Americano, the slow paced walk to his desk and his disregard to show up on time were, in your opinion, strong indicators of his likely hatred for his job.
Settled in his desk, he removed his shades. His narrow, cat-like eyes drew you in like magnets, there was no telling whether or not his iciness was natural, or a ruse to limit his interactions with the rest of the staff. Yet somehow they were still fitting for his rounder, chubbier cheeks. His lips were already pursed downward, but they seemed to curl even further and remain that way almost permanently as Jungkook peered his head out. You tried calling out to him, but your voice was muted by his own exclaims.
“Yoongi!” He shouted, you could say enthusiastically, towards the late addition in the office. He released another sigh, this time accompanied by an eye roll.
“Not now, Jungkook.” His voice was deep and low. Eyes never abandoning his monitor as Jungkook approached him.
Whatever conversation they were having was nothing but whispers and subtle head shakes. Yoongi was it? Didn’t seem in the mood for whatever chatter the manager kept going on about. You noticed bow everyone in the office was trying to work, but not being able to steal sudden glances from the conversation. Judging by those, especially Hoseok’s since he was sitting right at the situation, you assume they all had an idea as to what was unfolding. You, however, could only assume was an odd scolding in Jungkook’s manner for him showing up late.
A ringing alert brought your focus back to your own desk, the incoming call you guessed was from Corporate due to the email. Jungkook had previously requested that you warn him first before answering any calls from them, and you remembered what you were ready to do before Yoongi walked in. Not wanting to bring in any attention to yourself you debated quickly which was the best option, calling him over or going straight to him, but you didn’t even answer yourself before your legs started moving on their own.
“Jungkook.” You tapped his shoulder gently, and spoke softly. The young manager startled a bit, and you were unsure if the other man’s expression was relief or annoyance, but you let it go quickly.
“Yes? Oh! That reminds me. Everyone!” What you wanted to avoid was exactly what he gathered: attention.
“This is Y/N, office secretary. I want you all to make her feel welcome, be kind.” He kept going on one of his badly timed speeches until no one paid him any mind.
“Jungkook, you have-”
“Would you both excuse yourselves and talk elsewhere?” The deep voice that spoke seemed to command more authority than Jungkook did.
“Sorry,Y/N. Yoongi’s a bit on edge due to his divorce trial.” The last phrase he tried to utter as a whisper by leaning close to your ear, and although he made it sound like such, it was still loud enough for people to hear.
“Do you really have to tell people about my personal life? Where does it end with you?”
“I felt like I needed to excuse your attitude, she’s part of our family now anyways, she can know.”
Their bickering picked up again, Jungkook defending the reasoning for his declarations and Yoongi countering with how he always oversteps fine lined boundaries and doesn't have any common sense. Although you very much agreed with what Yoongi was saying that it was an invasion of privacy, you were still caught in the middle of their crossfire and all you wanted to do was inform Jungkook about the god forsaken call.
“JUNGKOOK.” Your raised voice silenced their bickering, and the room came to an onlooking halt. Anxiety started creep behind you due to shouting over your manager on your first day, causing flashbacks of previous outcomes due to this similar situation to roll like a montage in your head, but your patience was running thin.
“What, what is it?” Jungkook, unphased by the situation, cocked his head at you in slight confusion.
“You have a call from Corporate.” You maintained your stern tone, but you were wavering internally. His demeanor took a turn, eyes so wide you feared they would pop out.
“Did you answer?” Whispers gave an undertone of fear. With the phone still ringing in the background, you shook your head.
“Good. Tell them I’m out with a major client. I’m not here.” He hurriedly walked you back to the phone. The glint in his eyes says you should worry, but you swallowed and answered with the same feigned confidence you used for the interview.
“Bang-Lenzo, this is Y/N.”
You successfully got rid of the Corporate call in the morning, but you were unsure how long that might last given the urgency they requested it with. And Jungkook’s behavior regarding any calls from Corporate today, or the rest of the week from what he stated, was worrisome. It was a concern you’d tuck to the back of your head, it wasn’t your business anyways.
As the day went on, you saw that life in the office was quite eventful, so to speak. After the ordeal of Yoongi’s divorce proceedings this morning, and Jungkook avoiding Corporate like the Black Plague, an array of unusual things for a normal day to day office routine continued to happen.
Mainly, Jungkook was entirely distracting. To you, the staff and mostly to himself. He would constantly try to make conversation with anyone, and the topics were always painfully awkward. Anytime he was actually in his office, more time was spent playing Overwatch with Taehyung than doing any kind of work. Not to mention he eventually ventured over to the conference room, with Jimin and Hoseok in toe, for their “twice a day dancercise routine” as their official 15 minute break away from their computers.
If you thought the nonsense would end there, you were soon to be corrected. It in fact continued in the numerous times Taehyung and Jimin came by your desk asking for copies. And not even official work copies- they were asking you to print out different versions of invitational flyers for their ‘seasonal crop party’. To your surprise, Taehyung had inherited the only strawberry farm in the region due to his grandparents passing, not like you had bothered to ask anyways. The only question you cared an answer for was if Jungkook had approved of using office supplies for this. It shouldn't have shocked you like it did that the man himself had designed the flyer and organized such an event, but still.
Lunchtime couldn’t arrive quicker. Some of the staff beelined with their meals over to the lunchroom area, while the others went out to eat. You half expected Jungkook to take advantage of the lunchroom crowd for his shenanigans, but he opted for eating in his office with Jimin and Taehyung instead. You could hear their incessant planning murmurs as you passed by to heat up your meal.
“Y/N!” Jungkook exclaimed once he caught your movement. “If the others give you the cold shoulder, feel free to join us here for lunch.”
“Oh, it’s okay. I planned on eating at my desk,” You chose your next words carefully, feeling the party planners’ gazes. “But I’ll keep it in mind in case I get too lonely, thank you!” The soft smile that spread across your smile was enough to comfort them from the small rejection. They went back to their discussions and you headed for the microwave.
Peaking your head into the lunchroom, it was filled with the younger, unwelcoming faces from earlier. It’s not like you planned on sitting down and chatting with them, you were there just to heat up your lunch, but upon entry you noticed how their conversations volumes lowered all the way down to whispers and snickers. You focused your attention on the whirring noises and beeps the microwave offered as a mere distraction. It was a curse you carried for as long as you could remember. Any giggle, whisper, snicker, or anything of the sort you heard in your perimeter, you felt was directed at you. As if they could see the list of failures and misfortunes displayed on your back.
You took your bowl and offered the room a nervous smile and nod before leaving, hoping it came across as a ‘sorry to bother, enjoy your lunch’. As you exited the room, Hoseok, tailed by Yoongi, was heading with his food over to the conference room.
“Y/N, come join us if you want.” Hoseok was beaming, if the sun was human it would be him. Contrary to the one walking past him, not bothering to stop. He could be truthfully considered the dark side of the moon. Although with his back to you, you could make out his unrelenting scowl reflecting in the conference room’s glass wall. “Ignore him, he’s still mad over this morning.”
“All things considered, I can’t blame him. But I think I’ll pass.” Hoseok hooked his free arm around yours before you could continue.
“Nonsense, you shouldn’t cast yourself out on the first day.” In truth, Hoseok’s friendly manner and joyous attitude couldn’t be denied. You felt his genuine interest in making sure your transition into the office was a smooth one. In the room, Yoongi was already gulpin down his food, not bothering to glance up until he spoke.
“Shut the door so I can tell you…” Words escaped him, replaced by a sigh as he spotted your presence, and Hoseok’s sudden realization of what this lunch reunion entailed. Surely, they were meant to discuss the divorce proceedings, but Hoseok forgot upon trying to welcome you.
“Right… Y/N, rain check? Alone on your first day though...” He sighed as he flushed with embarrassment and you couldn’t help but chuckle.
“Don’t worry,” that was directed more at Yoongi if anything, a small assurance accompanied by the subtlest of nods. The rest was for Hoseok, as a dismissive joke to calm his worries. “I’ll probably join the Crop Festers and their shenanigans.” He cocked his head in confusion, a sharp ‘hm?’ caught in his throat. You brushed it off, leaving them with a wave. Wishing them a nice lunch and closing the door behind you, it was unknown to you that the Crop Festers had overheard, and were expecting you at Jungkook’s door excitedly.
“So you’re joining us then?” Taehyung assumed overjoyed, and Jimin couldn’t hide his giddiness. Jungkook was at the back at his desk, shaking his head in tune with soft chuckles before waving you in. It was clear that there was no way to have an unbothered lunch for the next 45 minutes, so… You joined.
Tae, as he now urged you to call him, and Jimin made space for you between them. Rice, meats, noodles, and an array of veggies were spread across the desk, now along with your own addition of food and in no time you were all eating and sharing your meals. Jungkook even offered up the few remaining biscuits, causing Tae and Jimin to fuss over why weren’t they brought out sooner and how good of a cook you were. Now they were expectant for next Monday morning for a pleasant cheesy boost.
Unknown to your conscious self, you were having a nice time. Further into the lunch, you became more involved with the Crop Party planning, and were even getting a bit excited for the day to arrive. A paid work day for a strawberry picking party? Who could say no to that? You weren’t ready to admit it just yet, with it being the first day and all, but… You were starting to like this place, even if you weren’t ready to acknowledge it. Once lunch was over, and everyone was making their way back to their desks, they eyed you with slight annoyance as you walked out of the office along with Tae and Jimin, still laughing at one of Jungkook’s impressions of some of the staff. Unaware, Yoongi and Hoseok exchanged a suspicious glance. Who was to blame any of them? It was a first for them to see someone new being friendly, or accepting the office shenanigans as they transpired.
Afternoon was a milder version of what the morning turned out to be, everyone was calmer now, and as the hours passed you noticed they worked harder. Even Jungkook was filing reports and taking work calls, as long as they weren’t from Corporate. One of your last tasks was to send out some notice of change in policy emails to clients, it was the most time consuming, but it helped the remaining hours pass by in a flurry.
Bags started to be packed and coats began to be thrown on as the clock got nearer to 5:00pm. Everyone was ready to put an end to the odd Monday, and you could tell by their soft smiles and shy ‘See you tomorrow’s. Hoseok dropped by your desk with a “Lunch tomorrow, for sure!” before leaving and wishing you well. Yoongi followed behind him, not offering anything at all. More than likely still fussy over his personal issues being announced in the office. Jimin and Taehyung each went for a goodbye hug, as they were more than excited to have you aboard. Often they carpooled, you found out that they live together on the farm. After being friends for so long, they decided to run it together. Only you and Jungkook, who was still stuck in his office remained. With your things on hand, you peered through his window to give him a small wave which he returned, followed by pointing to the phone and making mocking expressions of talking too much. With a shake of your head, you went to clock out, putting an end to the first day on the job. You would call it a success, for it being your very first 8-5, and it deemed celebration. So once you hopped on your Verna, and peered out of the parking lot, your destination was clear: Slack Jack’s.
You had never once been there on a Monday, much less after 5:00pm. Late weekend nights were what you had grown accustomed to due to your old odd jobs here and there. But much to your surprise, the ambience at this hour was much more tranquil and up your alley than what you were used to. You hated crowds and loud groups of people, and there was none of that here. Eyes scanned the bar for your favorite and only owner, who upon noticing your arrival called you over to an empty stool up at the bar. Eager steps made their way over as he placed your favorite shot on the counter: a water moccasin. You paid no mind to the individual next to your stool as you sat down, eyes trained on the peachy, sweet and sour whiskey shot glass before you. Widened eyes stared, unknown to you, as you drank it in one big gulp, placing the now empty glass on the counter, snapping and pointing at Jackson with finger guns as you exclaimed “Hit me again”.
A smirk played on the corners of his mouth as he placed a second one just as you finished asking. Knowing your habits, he made two as soon as he saw you. “I’m guessing today went... ?” He was expecting you to tell him all about your day, as soon as you finished fighting off the burning feeling down your throat. It was always the second one that got you the most. Hissing for only a few seconds, you spoke.
“Honestly? Honestly honest? I can’t complain.” Alcohol was slowly starting to take effect on you as you rambled on. “At first I was kinda freaked out? Because everyone was kinda weird? OH! And then Jungkook decided to out a guy’s whole divorce or something?” In the background, next to you, someone cleared their throat as Jackson bit his bottom lip, trying to hold in a chuckle, but you went on. “I don’t know, it was weird. But like afterwards, it was pretty chill. Jungkook ain’t that bad. And lowkey? I can’t wait for the strawberry season, dude.” A snort escaped you as you thought back on the Crop Party. You couldn’t wait. Tae mentioned something about making fresh milkshakes, and right now you were wildin’ at the thought.
“So I’m guessing you’ve met Yoongi?” Jackson’s hand motioned you to look to your right. Lo and Behold, Mr. Divorcee was magically there, a citrus whiskey on the rocks in his hands. And that’s when it hits you, you have a loud mouth.
“Oh my God, I’m so sorry.” Eyes like a deer in headlights, pleading for forgiveness. Yoongi waved it off. You finally heard his voice without a hint of annoyance.
“It’s fine.” Bringing the glass to his lips, he took a long sip. Which reminded you.
“Jackson, may I please--”
“Have another?” He chuckled as he went to prepare a fresh shot. “Don’t get carried away tonight, though. You work tomorrow, remember?”
“Hey, I have self control. I won’t drink past 6:30, I swear.” To even prove such control, you didn’t rush to down the shot. Instead you tried to build a conversation with the man in charge of the drinks, but he cursed silently at a reminder.
“Fuck, excuse me for a sec. I have to call my parents.” You remembered him mentioning something about an upcoming anniversary as he rushed to the back, leaving you alone with Yoongi, a shot and your thoughts.
Allowing your mind to travel far for a moment, the waterfall of bitter memories with your family started to cloud your field of vision. Forgetting where you were and who was around, you brought your hands up to either cheek and gave yourself some quick, small smacks in an attempt to distract your tear ducts from doing their job. A groan escaped you as you reached for the shot in front of you, disappearing it in an instant. So much for self control.
The man next to you watched in awe. He already knew far more about you than whatever first impressions you thought you gave, courtesy of Jackson. But he was one to always doubt the extent of the things he said, and since forming odd suspicions of you at the office, he figured now was the time to see if anything added up.
“Escapism?” The sudden voice shocked you, and brought you back to reality. Another snort made its way out your nose, in an endearing manner.
“You can say that. No, you know what? Life is a bitch.” In your drunken manner, you broke. You vented, you ranted, and you rambled. You laid out your entire life in front of this man, this stranger, revealing more than what was necessary, but you couldn’t stop yourself. “And now here I am.” Fingers tapped the counter, antsy. Waiting for Jackson to come back and serve you yet another shot to calm down.
“I see, I’m sorry for all that. Things are looking up now, at least?” Yoongi shrugged, a winced expression since your story was still fresh in his mind. “But, if it makes you feel any better, I have some fucked up shit going on myself."
“Oh really? A divorce? Family exile beats loveless marriage any day, boy.” Another side effect of your alcoholism was straight up competitiveness. Even though it stung him, he couldn’t help but laugh. For him, it even felt like the first time in a while he had done so earnestly.
“My wife is pregnant.” Whiskey glass was brought back to his lips for a moment, barely touching them. “And it’s not mine.” He finished off the remainder of the glass, while you stared in silence, jaw dropped.
“Whoa, that sucks... How do you know though?” You brought your face closer to him, in curious intrigue, not knowing what personal space was; but he didn’t mind much as he inched in a bit closer to speak.
“I had a vasectomy.” A sighed escaped his core as he too revealed his life to a stranger. “Before we got married, we were clear that we didn’t want children. At least not for a long time, so I got the surgery done. If we ever wanted kids we would have a talk and take out time to decide how to go about it. But one day,” he shook his head, thoughts lost in the memory “she was very persistent that I go get the reversal done. Like, that I had to get it done that week. And I found that suspicious, so I pretended to get it.” His fingers now mimicked yours earlier, lightly tapping on the counter. “We waited the recovery time, had sex, and a few days later, she was pregnant. So I filed for divorce. Do I win now?” His usual serious pout curled into a smirk as you shook your head no.
“Nah, I still win. You can always get a new wife, I can never get new parents. I don’t make the rules, chief.”
The mood was starting to liven up, but the universe often threw curveballs in your direction. Text alerts distracted you from your office chatter with Yoongi, and again, you soured. It wasn’t often when you received messages from your cousin, but you never talked about the elephant in the room. This time, however.
‘Your dad’s been asking about you lately. Anything worth mentioning?’ You watched the words fade from the pop-up screen, and debated in silence. The shift was visible, and Yoongi caught it as it happened. “Is everything okay?” he asked. Instead of answering, you simply opened the chat and showed him the message. Grabbing your phone in his hands he stared.
“Do I answer? Do I just leave it for tomorrow? What could I even bother telling?” Complaints continued to spew out of your mouth, muting the light clicks of Yoongi’s rapid fingers working on the keyboard. You’re only brought back from your rambles when you feel him pressing your phone still in his hand, back into yours, a message already written out in the text box.
‘I just started at a new office job. Safe, secure. It’s working out.’ Short, simple and to the point. A quick nod was enough for him to press send. As he pulled away, leaving you with the chat which was instantly read, you expected to feel a bit better, but your worries and anxiety remained as your fingers drummed at a quickened pace, itching for yet another shot.
Right on cue, Jackson’s presence made its way to you. Catching your tells, his hands moved straight to the Schnapps.
“Actually, I think she might be better off with water instead.” You shot daggers at him, annoyed at such an assumption. “Same for me. You said you won’t drink past 6:30. I don’t make the rules, chief.” You couldn't grumble out much, because as much as you desperately wanted to be irresponsible and drown your sorrows in waves of alcohol, you had a new, very decent, job to uphold. And that required showing up sober.
The rest of the night went by pretty decently, ending with a new weird routine of going home early instead of waiting until Jackson finished closing off, to drag you all the way to his car. The nights you drove to your home from the bar were less than the ones he posted you up at his own apartment.
“You’re good to drive, right?” This time, it was Yoongi who was nice enough to walk you over to the beat up Verna at the end of the lot.
“Surprisingly enough, I am. Thanks.” Sticking the key into the lock, you jiggled it around. The only sure way to open the door these days. “What about you?”
“Considering I only had one glass of whiskey, I think I’m alright.” He motioned over to the Genesis next to you. “I’m gonna head out. Drive safe.”
You nod and make sure he's at least safe besides his car door before entering yours. Turning back briefly to look at you, your goodbye wave stops halfway as his words reach your ears.
“Lunch tomorrow.” Is all he says. he doesn't even bother waiting for a confirmation, he simply gets inside his car and drives away.
Starting up your car was always a hassle but you got it kicking in no time. As you pulled out of the lot, you spotted the Genesis still at the empty intersection. You flashed your headlights twice before heading the opposite direction, and from your rearview saw him continue on his way. Despite all the characters and particular personas inhabiting the living bodies of your coworkers, you couldn’t help but think: Yoongi's just might be the most intriguing to you after all.
#yoongi fanfic#yoongi scenarios#yoongi imagines#yoongi fluff#yoongi x reader#yoongi x y/n#bts fanfic#bts scenarios#bts imagines#bts x reader#office!au
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The story I’m about to tell you is the story of 7 Alleyways
The first alleyway is encountered by an eavesdropping young Royal with a penchant for trouble spying yet again on thier fathers plans out of... twisted curiousity especially when their father the current king mentioned change from normal and change in routine. The young royals father had his newly appointed guards lined up in pristine order not unlike holiday nutcrackers.
“You May face unexpected challenges to your work so as guards I expect you to be ready for anything and everything.” The king noted scanning the crowd with almost scholarly study.
“For example Y/N I know your there we have discussed this. If you were not my child another court would accuse you of espionage. Luckily I know enough about myself to recognize my own youthful mischief in my children.” The king sighed
“Sorry Daddy.” Y/N bashfully looked away.... noticing an odd hue of fiery red hair.... and clothes and ok this dude really really likes the color red.
“I expect you to keep them in line.I will most likely assign you by age. However, know this I expect no trouble from either you or your charges. Especially no eavesdropping.” The king sent a knowing look to Y/N
“Dismissed.” The King declared
Y/N who scratched the back of thier neck.
“Oh and Vexx since they are your charge escort them back.” The king added.
“Sure your highness.” Vexx smirked before following orders.
The young royal proceeded walking with Vexx back to thier chambers...
“So you must really enjoy the color red?” The royal smirked eyeing the entire ensemble.
“It’s a bit of a personal moniker due to the hair....” to say Vexx was taken aback by Royals of any kind speaking to or noticing anything about him .... well let’s just say that would be the understatement of the year.
“I figured .... it just must be hard to try to blend into a crowd. No offense I like it it’s just...yeah.” The royal chuckled at their own stupidity.
“Your one to talk child of the king. Media darling ... and appearently according to your father “mischief””
Vexx chuckled air quoting mischief. He wasn’t originally sure about doing this whole gaurd thing... but his assignment doesn’t seem half bad. They have a sense of humor at least.
“First thing you should know if you’re to be working with me my family and the media are almost polar oppposites. One pays almost too much attention too me the other doesn’t notice my existence save for when I’ve caused trouble or dishonored my great ancestral line. An actual lecture I get more than I’d like too.” Y/N looked down.
“Well then I should strive to be the middle then shouldn’t I?” Vexx chuckled.
Alleyway 2
Was the first time Vexx had to come to terms with the fact he had been given the “hard” assignment.
A fact that became painfully obvious when looking around the empty quarters.
Even more obvious when Y/N in whatever garb they had on emerged from the secret alley portrait passage covered in paint... grinning like mad.
“What the hell?” Vexx with crossed arms and an even more cross face demanded.
“I ... Um... It’s not as bad as it looks my brother is a bore so I repainted his private personal portrait in his quarters .... with a unibrow and some buck teeth take him down a peg it’s in his chambers you won’t get in trouble...” Y/N frowned.
“I don’t care about getting in trouble or you’re brothers stupid portrait. You always talk about feeling alone when when were stuck here playing board games... however the one person who doesn’t want you to be alone and you ditch them.” Vexx lectured.
“You get paid to say that just like anyone else here... like the chefs who dump food on my plate and don’t so much as smile at me. Or the servants who cower in my direction fearing my anger but I’m not angry ... your whole directive is making sure I’m not alone is it so yeah...” Y/N retorted
“Ok then fuck this... fuck following the rules. And you know what fuck you’re entitled attitude. Yeah sure maybe this started as a job but I’ve seen you act like everybody’s puppet and I hate it. I’ve seen you cry alone on rainy nights and I’ve seen you do a fake smile that you convince is genuine. I watch you do that tapping thing you do in meetings and how you bite your lip to keep your mouth shut to please whatever dumb conviention this is.... I know that the idea of you’re father sort of looking like those weird candy’s never fails to make you laugh...and you know what at that point it kind of stops just being to quote you my whole directive so yeah sometimes ... and ...get this people actually care about you.” Vexx frowned now out of breath.
Alleyway 3
It had been a week since the previous fight. Y/N didn’t talk to him but he didn’t talk to Y/N. To be honest it was just killing both of them. Both Too awkward for anything other than side glances in the others direction..... and if one looked at the other at the same time they quickly moved thier head and pretended it was nothing. Simple. The trouble with the whole thing is that both ended up feeling just horribly guilty.
“I’m sorry.” They both tried to say before laughing
“Look I’m sorry I’ve been entitled I know I’m a bit privileged and stuck up.... it’s just the only time people have spoken to me how you do is usually right before my father announces he want me to entertain them as a possible suitor. Which spoils the whole thing ,because it ends up being fake. Interested in me for a position as a noble or to raise thier family status or to maintain ours... It’s stupid and annoying I’m sorry I didn’t realize you aren’t like that....” Y/N smiled.
“It’s ok and I’m sorry if I hurt you’re feelings but I meant what I said ... fuck the rules. There’s a passage right There nobody needs to know we’re gone. Pick a place.” Vexx thought.
“What if we get caught. If I prank my brother and ruin his commission portraits that’s one thing as I don’t leave the palace and it’s his personal thing not a relic..... but this .... I’ve seen people get in huge trouble for less.... if something happens to you because of my selfishness I...” Y/N explained.
“Disguises hmm... you do enough of those ridiculous fashion and tabloid magazines to know what a hat can do to change what people see you as... and lucky for you I have a nice kushy job working for the kings family so I can sometimes buy my friends a hat so where too?”Vexx chuckled.
“I’ve always wanted to try that cafe down the street with the themed cocoa.” Y/N smirked
“Done.” Vexx smiled
Before opening up the portrait alleyway in the wall
Alleyway 4 was an accident a close call in between Y/N entertaining another boring suitor and telling them everything Y/N disapproved of and a lecture from the king himself. Luckily Vexx opened the hallway passage just in time as the walls opened in closed again enough for Y/N to slip through.
“Ughhhh I don’t like any of them.” Y/N sunk against the wall down to the floor.
“Eventually he is going to do what he did to my eldest brother and force a proposal for an alliance” Y/N added
“Have you ever liked anyone?” Vexx inquired
“Once entirely by accident, but have I ever been in a real relationship not a staged one for tabloids or an arranged one for an alliance no....” Y/N frowned
“You deserve a real relationship Y/N not just something to please you’re parents or the press.... You deserve somebody who will cherish you I know what it’s like to be let down by people close to you or to want something you can’t have so badly.... I just think you deserve to have what you want especially when other people don’t get that privilege.” Vexx sat down next to Y/N
“What do you want that you can’t have.” The young royal questioned innocent and oblivious.
Unaware that to Vexx thier gaurd it May as well have been an interrogation by the heated all too familiar red color through out his face.
“It doesn’t matter I can’t have it.... I would be risking everything hell I’d be risking them.” Vexx ran his fingers through his hair in slight panic.
“Them?” Y/N frowned a bit not that they had intended it.
“Yeah.” Vexx replied “them.”
“You deserve happiness too Vexx.... you have helped me avoid arrangements that would have ignored my comfort and consent ...you allowed me to see outside for the first time from a citizens Perspective. You’ve allowed me freedom... you deserve the same. Fuck the rules right?” Y/N smiled melancholically.
“Yeah.....actually fuck the rules.” Vexx cuped his hands around Y/Ns cheeks and kissed them.
“Them ... you ....I ... Im sorry.” Vexx looked away.
“Fuck sorry.” Y/N kissed back.
____________________________________________
Alleyway 5
“Y/N... It’s just your brothers wedding it’ll be fine.” Vexx lied and knew he had lied.
He tried to tell himself he could turn back that they didn’t have to die he was leaving today for good... he had to....
The event was in a week and well Vexx wasn’t and couldn’t stay for it... he just lied to the Royal he was guarding hoping that in his last hours as Thier gaurd they would get smart or be less trusting or be more like the other royals in Thier family ... and less Like themselves.....
He memorized Thier face before leaving... or tried too. If Y/N was lucky maybe they’d get out before the wedding see something outside the palace see ... before everything. He always could go back he didn’t have to give up the passages or the plans. He didn’t have to.... but he did have to he would die if he didn’t do it was a question of himself or them.
He wasn’t about to die not for anyone. So he found an alleyway and left forever.
Alleyway 6
It was done... he had heard it from one of the holographic tabloid screens outside of town.... they were dead they all had died .... the plan worked.
Yay...
The bartender wasn’t enthused neither was anyone else the days leading up until the funeral days Vexx spent In drink in shithole taverns ...
Thier funeral the funeral of Y/N....
How could he do that? He ...? He killed them he wouldn’t see the gleam in thier eyes anymore. There would be no more of that stupid perfect melodious laugh. The worst part is for a royal Y/N believed in him as much as he “pretended” to believe in them.
He used to get a hug in the morning everyday without fail. Now he reminds himself when he wakes up that he left.. so he won’t be getting a hug. Now they are dead so no one will. Y/N also won’t sneak any of the guards the good food the royals are severed in buffet. There won’t be any more old high end clothing delivered to sick children from Y/N. No more interviews where they smiled and crinkled Thier nose cute..... it was all his fault he robbed the word of that.
So now he had to sober up and find himself at a funeral parade he didn’t exactly feel like attending at all.
It felt more like his funeral than even theirs....
He killed Y/N and was going to have the balls to go to Thier funeral.
Vexx wondered if thier ever was a worse sin than a killer going to the funeral of thier victim. Worse yet of thier ex that they killed. What sick irony made him feel he had too a fox mourning it’s last prey.
So when Vexx found himself disguised in the front of a crowd of mourners. Counting the sarcofigi until it got to theirs.....
1,the king
2, the kings wives
3, his children
One by one.
To say it was melancholic is an understatement. To watch as a gold and silver box lit with digital lights to accentuate what they looked like alive.
The awful thing about it was Vexx noted even though it was well carved it didn’t pick up a lot about Y/N. Things that couldn’t be depicted now not in paintings or statues. The final resemblance to Y/N didn’t capture them at all.
Too stoic
Vexx noted Y/N was too mischievous always with a plan or prank... just to take the others down a peg. Always in trouble but always laughing. They had a habit of putting their head back. The sarcophagus should have had Thier smirk at least...
But it didn’t ... he didn’t .... no one did.
He remembered suddenly he wasn’t just at the funeral for a friend or lover ..... he was at the funeral of the people he killed and suddenly the bodies just the sheer numbers made him feel more like the people carrying the satcophogi. He left the crowd to hide back in an alleyway..... with heavy shoulders the bottle from the bar and a reason to forget.... how many bodies and how many people had he taken from Thier loved ones how many just like Y/N with smiles and laughs. How many guards he had trained with.
It didn’t matter he just wanted to forget.
____________________________________
Alleyway 7
Vexx hated ghosts or at least the idea of them but in the crowded bar. On what must’ve been the shadiest planet ever he started hallucinating.
Y/N was dead
He had killed Y/N
He never deserved them they should have ran. If they stayed away from him he couldn’t have hurt them. Especially not for his selfish purposes.
Vexx weaved his way out of the bar with his latest drink in hand avoiding the once living and carefree royal now stoic ghost. When he walked far enough to understand it was just illusion he sighed.
That is until he heard the same eerily paced footsteps shambling against the desert floor.
Loosing his smart ass composure he dropped the remains of his glass.
Getting whoever or whatever was following him into a hold. Uttering some quick threat about how stupid it is to follow strangers into alleys he pressed a knife into the throat of whoever this was. Y/N is dead so it’s probably somebody copying Thier style it’s not entirely unlikely people didn’t want to dress like they did they were known for that.
“Who are you?” Vexx questioned through gritted teeth.
“Y/N.” They sounded unsure before Thier face contorted in pain.
“Prince(ss)?” Being the only word he could utter as they weren’t a ghost he felt them he touched them.... his skin felt the same unmistakable tickle of warmth where his hands met Thier neck.....
It was them very much alive and as much as he wanted to give in right here say sorry and cry about what he’d done .... he was about to do the opposite because maybe if Y/N thinks He hates them then Y/N won’t try to save him or follow him or redeem him
Vexx killed Thier family which made him not only dangerous but a monster and so upholding a broken vow made so long ago Vexx looked Y/N in the eyes and broke Thier heart one final time in hopes that he could protect them like he should’ve what now feels like a lifetime ago
#andromeda 6 headcanons#andromeda 6#a6#a6 vexx#vexx#vexx serif#a6 fic#a6 game#andromeda 6 mc#andromeda 6 fic#a6 oc
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I Am More Than Memory (part 5/?)
parts 1 2 3 4
warnings: mental illness, mentions of death
editing: nah brah
ship: platonic ralbert ,,,, kinda
this ended up being less angsty than i anticipated so ,,, sorry? youre welcome?? however you wanna take it
“You mentioned that he only recently showed up. Why do you think that is?”
Albert’s gaze met the therapist’s as he tried to remember is name. Something like Darren or Donny or-
His glanced down to his name tag. Oh, Denton, that’s right.
He shrugged, “I dunno.”
“Do you have any guesses?”
Albert averted his eyes, flinching when he met Race’s taunting stare from across the room, “Guess it finally caught up with me,” he sighed.
“What caught up with you?” Denton pushed.
Albert scrubbed a hand down his face, heaving a deep, yet unfulfilling breath, “I don’t know.”
“I think you do,” Denton nudged, softly, “Take me through it.”
Race hopped off his perch on the armrest next to Denton, traipsing over to sit next to Albert. Albert tried his best to ignore him as he answered.
“It was my fault,” he started, hesitantly.
Denton raised his eyebrows, motioning for him to continue. Race chuckled, twirling a few strands of Albert’s hair between his fingers. Albert resisted the urge to swat him away.
“Spot was, uh, well,” he paused, gathering his thoughts for a moment, “It was his right of way, like, we had the green arrow. But then this idiot driver blasted through a red light and I saw it, but I didn’t say anything. I don’t know why. I just froze up and by the time my mind stopped being useless, Race was already, uh, gone.”
“Still here,” Race sang, pinching Albert’s cheek.
“Shut up,” Albert mumbled.
“What?” Denton furrowed his eyebrows, glancing at the space next to Albert knowingly.
“Nothing.”
Denton grimaced, looking like he wanted to say something, but deciding against it, “Well,” he said, returning to their previous conversation, “It sounds like it was the other driver’s fault.”
Albert let out a frustrated noise, imperceptibly shrugging off Race’s hand a bit, “Yes, but I saw the truck, like, ages before it hit us. If I had just-”
“Albert, have you ever heard of the fight, flight, or freeze response?” Denton asked, cutting Albert off.
Albert frowned, “I thought it was just fight or flight.”
“It was,” Denton nodded, “But recently, psychologists added the term ‘freeze’ into the saying to indicate the response during a traumatic situation in which we kinda go rigid. The fight or flight kicks in when your body is willing you to survive- when there’s hope. But the freeze kicks in when there isn’t hope,” he stopped for a moment, allowing Albert to process what he had said, “I think your subconscious knew there wasn’t really anything you could do to stop that truck from hitting you,” he finished quietly.
Albert sat quietly for a moment, blinking back tears. It was true. When he had punished himself internally, it had seemed like he’d had all the time in the world to warn Spot of the truck. But, in hindsight, he’d only had a few seconds. Far too short of an interval to work past the initial panic that had shrouded his mind.
Race’s eyes turned cold and he knelt in front of Albert, attempting to block his view of Denton.
“Albie, hey, Albie look at me,” he urged, placing a hand on Albert’s knee, “Look at me, dude, hey.”
“Albert,” Denton called softly, “What’s going through your mind?”
Albert stared at his hands, thinking, before looking up past Race into Denton’s soft stare, “I couldn’t have done anything,” he breathed, “It wasn’t my fault.”
Panic clouded Race’s eyes as he pulled on Albert’s shirt sleeve, “Albert. Look at me.”
Denton smiled- a comforting, warm gesture, “Can you still see him?”
Albert swallowed, “Yes,” he shook his head, “But fuck him.”
-
next we get spot some uhhh help
or do we?
stay tuned
thanks for reading, chiefs
hmu to be added to my tag
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@faithmil
#newsies fic#newsies#ralbert#racetrack higgins#albert dasilva#oof#we been shook bros#yeet#crish crash motherfuckers#idek what im saying
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