#as usual afraid to come off as rude because I will be staying near the walls and food and never set a foot on the dancing area

[r-aindr0p]

Uhhghfdss uhh going to a (themed) bday party this evening... Been like a deer in the headlights for a week now because I'm bracing myself for something that's very probably far nicer than I imagine but ough.... kinda panicking so I do nothing instead of organizing myself :)))))

[realcube]

HAIKYUU!! BOYS VISITING YOU AT WORK HCS

characters ♡ tsukishima, nishinoya & kuroo

tws ♡ mentions of opoids & cursing

KEI TSUKISHIMA

♡ he would NOT come see you at work on purpose

♡ like he notices how exasperated and frustrated whenever you get off work so bro wants nothing to do with that

♡ plus, because you are always telling him horror stories about customer/co-worker interactions, he just assumes your workplace is a breeding ground for crazy people and wants to stay the hell away

♡ most boyfriends after you tell them about how rude customers are to you would come in to your place of work and give you flowers just to make your day, but not tsuki

♡ plus he hears the way you respond to your customers in these stories and he does NOT want to be a victim of your wrath

♡ on the brightside though, since he is a shithead himself, you might expect him to be the annoying type and play devil's advocate whenever you are telling him about terrible customers like:

♡ "customer is always right!" "it's your job to do [something completely unrealistic and overzealous]" "but what did you do to make the customer act like that?" "a tip is not a requirement!!!!!" "i think you're overreacting.."

♡ and he does try to be objective so he can be like that sometimes

♡ but keyword is try

♡ 99% of the time, as soon as you tell him the customer did something remotely inflammatory towards you, he goes into full Protective Tsukishima Mode™

♡ and since he is a cow himself, he is in full support of any cowish or "out of line" behaviour you may exhibit in retaliation to the rude customer

♡ you cussed them out? tsuki is like awesome, good job babe!

♡ you threw a drink at them? tsuki is like but great, hopefully you didn't strain your wrist with all power and vigour you used.

♡ you call them ugly? tsuki says that's offensive to kageyama and ugly people everywhere but you still ate that.

♡ and if you're manager has anything to say about it, tsuki says kill em

♡ anyway all that is to say he loves you but he won't be stepping FOOT near your establishment of employment 💜 willingly

♡ however, let's say you work at a drug store and tsuki has ran out of parcetemol and obviously he needs some more because of all the headaches his team is causing him

♡ and there aren't drug stores around every corner

♡ (even if there are, he's probably banned from at least a few for being a smartass)

♡ ("☝🤓 erm actually i think what you meant to say was oxytocin , oxycodone is an illegal opoid")

♡ (i'm jk ofc)

♡ (tsuki doesn't know the difference between oxytocin and oxycodone, he doesn't even know the difference between tanaka and that other buzzed guy from aoba johsai??) ( he gave them both dirty looks to make sure he covered all his bases)

♡ anyway under the circumstance that there was no other way he could source his medication and he needed it urgently, his only option was to sneak into your store and PRAY someone else served him besides you

♡ but of course you spotted him and called him over to your counter

♡ you'd go through the usual debrief of 'why tf are you here?' and him explaining that he literally had no other choice

♡ you're relieved because if he was becoming one of those corny boyfriends who visits you at work to tell you what a great job you're doing, you'd be afraid he was possessed by the spirit of daichi and you'd have to perform an excorcism at work which is toooo much effort

♡ thankfully he wasn't posessed though, just in pain

♡ you ring him up and the speed of light and then he leaves

♡ ...

♡ is what you WISH happened

♡ instead, once he finally realises the power he has in this situation, he takes the absolute piss

♡ he channels every terrible customer you've ever told him about and becomes the Avatar of Annoying Cunts: Stupid, impatient, loud and downright RUDE

♡ two of those things he's an expert at

♡ a scholar, if you will

♡ "good morning? it's the afternoon..." "why are you taking so long, it's only one item?" "cash or card, what does it look like?" "why are you in such a bad mood, calm down?" "you've overcharged me..."

♡ you could tell he was just joking around but the fire that raged inside you was very much real

♡ the thing about tsuki though is that he is easily embarassed so stops as soon as other people start looking his way or your manager tries to get involved

♡ the switch up is kinda insane because after hearing a customer call your attitude "foul" and "noxious" one of your co-workers chimes in and asks if there is a problem and he is like

♡ "no, no problem at all 😊 just amazing service here haha! 😗 the only problem is that i'm being served by an angel! 😇 shouldn't you be in heaven? 🤭"

♡ jk he wasn't actually that sweet he was more awkwardly like "we're good!" then shuffles off with his painkillers but he actually forced a smile when he said that so he may as well have have called you an angel and all that bologne

♡ when you see him next you both agree never to dicuss that incident again because it was just too awkward for either of you to bare

♡ and he's petty asf so if you do ever try to bring it up, he will seriously just pretend it never happened

♡ like at a restaurant tsuki is like "this stew i ordered is cold. i'm going to flag down the waiter to complain."

♡ "let me do it! we both know how ruthless you are when complaining about service workers."

♡ "huh?"

♡ "remember? when i rung you up at the drug store? you were so mouthy."

♡ "i don't know what you're talking about.. i've never been to your drug store.."

♡ "..."

♡ "it could be a front for an illicit drug cartel for all i know..."

♡ "..."

♡ "now that i think about it, probably is."

YŪ NISHINOYA

♡ okay .. so

♡ it all started when he invited you to come over to his house to play mortal kombat on his ps2 and you said yeah sure, but after you finished work

♡ you had a very complicated shift and NO energy to play video games but the last thing you wanted to do was disappoint nishinoya because that would only make you feel worse

♡ so you muster up the will power to head over to his house, sending a precursory text that you're on your way but warning him that you may not act like you're usual self because you've had a rough shift

♡ as soon as you step foot inside his home, he leaps at you and envelops you in a tight hug, asking you to recount in detail everything that happened today and what has upset you , if you're up for talking about it

♡ you're original plan was to be strong and tough it out, hoping that playing mortal kombat would help you take your mind off of it anyway, but as soon as he starts acting all sympathetic and being so kind, you immediately burst into tears and spill your guts

♡ you explain that there is a regular who comes in every friday that is always a bit bold and sassy but never anything too bad

♡ however, today you were the one that made this regular's order and when you gave it to them, they spat it out onto your shoes and claimed it was the worst thing they've ever tasted and demanded you give them a refund

♡ your manager hates giving refunds so you politely offered to remake their food instead but they continued to be uncooperative and scream all sorts of terrible things at you

♡ it all ended with them getting a refund and leaving but it still left you jarred

♡ he holds you, comforts you and tells you no one deseveres to be treated like that. eventually you are able to put it all into persepective and realise that what's done is done and it's not like you could relive the past and change what happened. no one was physically harmed and you didn't lose your job so there was no point dwelling on it

♡ he was the positive light that guided you through such a grim situation

♡ him, and the hope that they'll never come back after that interaction, and you tell him this

♡ which is about the time he recalls that you refered to them as a 'regular' and starts acting strange and asking a bunch of — what you deem to be — random questions

♡ "so.. what were they wearing?" "you said their hair was brown? what shade: poopy chestnut or sludge coffee?" "what shape were their eyebrows?" "on a scale of tsukishima to me, how defined was their jawline?" "when they flipped you off, did they use their right or left hand?"

♡ you answered most of his questions, assuming that he was giving you a platform to call them ugly or maybe he just wanted to create a very realistic and detailed image of the confrontation in his brain

♡ regardless, once he was done with his questions, that's the last you spoke of the situation for a while, and you prefer it that way

♡ ... that is, until next Friday rolled around

♡ there was no way nishinoya could let you go to work when there was the possibility that an abusive customer could come in and start berating you again; what kind of boyfriend would he be if he just let that happen?

♡ so, shortly after the store opened, he camped outside near the doors, in such a position that no one from inside could see him, even through the windows

♡ he stood there looking intimidating (as intimidating as a 5"3 boy can be), any family walking by would've thought he was some sort of McDonalds bouncer (a McBouncer, perhaps)

♡ during the morning, it was busy but not an awful not of people were coming inside, the majoirty were going through the drive-thru (but you mentioned the regular always comes inside so he knew he was guarding the right place)

♡ however, since there was no one coming and going, he felt as though he didn't need to pay much attention so he took a seat on one of the nearby dining benches and started playing games on his phone

♡ 40 levels and 0 adhd pills later; it's the afternoon, rush hour and there was a bunch of people entering and leaving the establishment

♡ he took guard by the enterance once again but when he peered inside, he was afraid he might be too late

♡ he couldn't see their face, but he could see you at the collection counter talking to someone with a disheartened expression. the person you were talking to was moving very sternly while talking to you, which he wasn't fond of

♡ he snuck inside without you noticing, which wasn't hard considering there were so many people and also you were currently engaged with a customer

♡ when he came in, his suspicions were only confirmed and the customer wasn't yelling at you but speaking in a loud voice and saying all sorts of nasty stuff like "this serivce is unacceptable! can't even make a damn whopper... let me speak to your manager!"

♡ when he heard this, it instantly activated some sort of reflex in noya that made him act on instinct: he spirited towards the customer, weaving through the crowd, and leaped onto them from behind, clinging to their back like a vicious koala bear while trying to pull them to the ground and biting them

♡ screaming stuff like "don't you ever talk to (y/n) like that you freak!! you have no idea how hard they work so you have no reason to be so mean all the time!! lay off the attitude and the burgers and maybe you'll be able to afford a HEART transplant !!!"

♡ eventually the customer lost balance and ended up on the floor while noya hopped on top of them to start punching them in the face, but before he swung he noticed the face of the person he was about to hit

♡ "if you don't like their burgers, taste this— !! oikawa??"

♡ once noya falters, you are able to react by jumping over the counter and explaining that oikawa isn't the one that chastised you last Friday; he just came in today and was a bit upset over his burger with no mayo , that had mayo on it and you were about to remake for him

♡ once noya realised this he helped oikawa to his feet

♡ oikawa muttered something about his bad knee and hating small people but after that he silently waited at the side for you to remake his burger

♡ you brought noya to the back and told him that you appreciate him coming to your work to protect you but you really didn't need him to and that you can fight your own battles

♡ he understood but insisted that he at least stay for the rest of this day in case that crazy regular from last week came in and harassed you again but your manager swiftly kicked noya out

♡ so now he is banned from his local McDonalds and also Aoba Johsai High but he says it's worth it for you

TETSURŌ KUROO

♡ suuuuch a hoe about it icl

♡ whenever he is going out to eat with friends, he will always bring them to where ever you work, especially if you work as a waiter or a host or some other occupation in which you deal with the customers directly

♡ and he will sit there and pretend like he doesn't know you and has never seen you before in his life

♡ and you just thought this was a funny little bit he does. y'know just to be jovial and fun lol like you genuinely didn't think much of it and thought he just pretended like he didn't know you for the shits n giggles so you played along

♡ HOWEVER the real reason he would bring his friends to this restaurant was to pretend like he has hella game by flirting with you (and obviously you'd playfully flirt back bc you're his s/o...) and impress his friends by successfully 'pulling' their waitress

♡ sometimes before going to the restaurant he'd be like "guys if i can get our waiter's number then you all owe me ¥1000 (approx £5/$6)"

♡ technically fraud but he'd make more in tips that night than you

♡ (💔)

♡ although this scheme would only work on each friend once and he couldn't even do it to his closer friends like kenma or bokuto because they know y'all are dating so they wouldn't fall for it

♡ he did it once while lev and yamamoto were at the table and they went CRAZY

♡ they genuinely asked him to teach them his ways

♡ not knowing it's all a lie....

♡ one day though kenma is in the changing room and makes a remark about kuroo being a loser virgin for taking his switch and lev and yamamoto SPRING to his defences

♡ "NAH you should've seen kuroo at that restaurant. he got the hot waiter's number and was hitting on them the whole night!"

♡ he knows you work as a waiter, and he asks them what restaurant they are talking about and when this whole interaction happened and they confirm his initial notion

♡ he then appears at your work immediately after school and says all ominiously "i have some information about your boyfriend i'd be willing to exchange for food"

♡ one long conversation and a portion of soba later, he confesses to you everything he knows and how he suspects kuroo only pretends your not his s/o to impress his friends

♡ you find it hilarious but you know you can't let that slide

♡ so the next time he comes in, you have your game face on

♡ instead of going to typical route and aknowledging kuroo, thus making it evident to the party that you both are acquainted, you opt for a more entertaining plan

♡ you go along with the premise that you and kuroo don't know each other and you are just a random server who happens to be attractive, waiting their table and also completely receptive to his advances

♡ until... you aren't!!!

♡ it begins as soon as they are start at their table, you and kuroo make flirtatious glances at each other from across the restaurant; his friends pick up on this and are utterly enthralled

♡ when they order their food, kuroo makes a comment "everything looking so delicious" while looking at you instead of the menu, and you blush

♡ even when you drop their food off at their table, you remark that it might be "too hot to handle" and that really gets them all going

♡ however, at the end of the meal, before you start taking the dishes away, you ask them if everything has been alright for them and he responds, "everything has been perfect, doll."

♡ and your face just DROPS into one of absolute horror and disgust, "Don't call me that!"

♡ Kuroo is caught quite off guard by that and you walk away while all his friends are still snickering, but he brushes it off as it being a pet name you're not fond of or something

♡ When you leave the cheque at their table, he blows you a kiss off his finger and you just give a dismayed look in response which all his friends pick up on and laugh at him for

♡ finally, when he had wrote up the cheque, he wrote his number where it said "tip" and you picked it up and read it while they were all still standing near the table, getting ready to leave

♡ as soon as you looked at the paper, you glared at him and yelled, "just give me a real tip, weirdo!" and all his friends opened their mouths with the intention of laughing but a involuntary gasp was pulled from all of them as they watched you bitch slap him right across the face

♡ ...

♡ yeah needless to say he had a tough time explaining to his friends why he didn't press charges and you a tough time explaining to your boss why you smacked a customer

[midnight-mourning]

DCA Promptober Day 9: Off-Limits

Had an idea in mind for this one, then @soupdweller pretty much solidified it for me with this piece of art. Hope you enjoy!

Word count: 1868

Content warning: non graphic depicitions of death, obsessive behavior if you squint really really hard, reader discresion is advised

🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃

You wish you were taller. Maybe not super tall, and certainly not eight or nine feet tall, but a couple inches you think would be nice. A couple inches could potentially make you feel a bit less, small, in this situation. 

The Daycare Attendant looms over you, that cartoonish grin and dead eyes certainly not helping your nerve. You swallow. You were not going to let him intimidate you, you were not going to let him intimidate you-

"Friend."

"Sun," Your voice is more squeaky than you'd ever like it to be, you clear your throat, "Can I get past you, please?"

His rays click sharply to one side, "I'm afraid not. This area is off-limits."

"I, understand that, but it's also my job as a guard to check that everything is in order-"

He moves suddenly, bending down so that your faces are now inches apart, he tilts his head, "Off. Limits."

You have it in you to get a little annoyed then. You don't really know the Attendant all that well, and from what you've heard from other staff he's usually pretty friendly and even a bit, oblivious. 

This was not that. 

From the moment you'd met he'd been off-putting, a little creepy, and in a way, hostile to you and everything you did. You almost wondered if it was a work hours vs after hours thing, but whenever anyone else was around he had that chipper persona. It was just with you that there was a problem. 

"What's in there that's such an issue?" You ask, trying to peer around him, ignoring the way his 'pupils' seem to shift and watch you, "Last I checked the Plex doesn't have any big secrets. Not any that I as a guard wouldn't know about at least."

It's hard to tell what's back there, mainly because of the near blinding light coming from the doorway to contrast with the darkened space you're currently standing in. And from what you remember, it was all just storage space. One of the bigger ones to your understanding. Actually, how'd the Attendant even get over here? You don't remember there being another entrance to this location. And furthermore, why is he-

"That," He puts a hand on your shoulder, "Is not," You're shoved backward, "Your concern."

Okay, now you're irritated, "For the last time, this is my job. Last I checked, you're the Daycare Attendant, and I'm the security guard. So, you can either move out of my way, or I make you move."

Sun stands upright again, clasping his hands in front of him, "You can try."

"Why do you even care? Why are you even over here?" You point your finger at him now, "You know, you've been honestly kind of a jerk to me since I started, and I'm kind of sick of it. I've never done anything to you!"

A click. You continue. 

"I have tried to be nothing but kind and considerate, I don't stay in your space too long, I wave when I see you, I compliment your art and yet you've been nothing but cold, impassive, and downright rude."

The Attendant is stock still and frankly, you don't care.

"What did I do to deserve this, huh? What made you decide I was going to be the target of your just, straight vitriol toward me?" You throw your hands up, then slap them against your legs. 

Your breathing is heavy now. But at least you've said your peace. 

It's then that the bot laughs, not the reaction you were expecting. For some reason, it sends a chill down your spine.

He takes a step closer, then another. It gives you an idea as he once more bends down to your level. 

"What you've done?" Several rapid clicks of his rays turning to the right, "You want to know what you've done-"

You quickly sidestep him, darting inside, "Maybe some other time! Let's say after my patrol, how's that?"

He makes a loud sound then, which you take as merely mild frustration. Something that in hindsight, was a mistake on your part. You snickered, served him right. You were just trying to do your job.

The storage room was a lot bigger than you were expecting. Grander. Many aisles of boxes piled to the high ceiling on either side of you, along the backwall, and is that a connecting room behind? Geez, why is this area not patrolled more often? Seems like there's a lot of stuff to grab, regardless of there seeming to just be the one entrance. 

You think you've lost Sun, for now anyway. If he catches up to you again it's not like he can do anything except complain. The thought instantly peeves you. 

You're nearing one of the back corners of this front room now, deciding to radio back to the main office, "Hey, working on the last bit of my route, there a reason we don't check this storage room more routinely?"

"We don't.... manpower.... -eople have... -ssing. Wasn't supposed... -your route. -ou should probably-.... -here." Is the response you receive.

You frown, speaking into the device again, "Hey, you're cutting out super bad, could you repeat that?"

All you get is more garbled static as a response. You shrug it off. Must be a dead zone near this room. Annoying, but that's life.

There's a smell in here, you're realizing. And it's not dust, even though there's quite a lot of that. It's decay. 

And the closer you get to that back corner, the stronger is gets. 

Now, a normal person would say fuck it, and call a custodian to deal with whatever poor animal had gotten in here and died. And maybe on a different night, you would have done that. But for some reason, that wasn't the decision you were going to make for tonight.

You round the corner and find-nothing. Just some more boxes. But god that smell is strong now. You're getting ready to turn around and high tail it out of there, when you notice that there's something sticking out from the corner, between where the boxes on either wall collide. 

You don't need to get a closer look to confirm what it is, but you do. 

You can only stare on in complete and utter disbelief. 

Yup. That is indeed a shoe. Attached to a foot, attached to a dead body-a dead security guard's body-which you're 99% sure is what you were smelling. 

The surprising part of all this was exactly how many dead bodies were stuffed into that corner. All in various states of decay. 

"I warned you."

You jump, whipping around to find Sun staring at you. Somehow, the blank look in his eyes is more unreadable than ever before. You swear there's like, a shimmer to optics. Kind of, purplish. But your eyes are probably playing tricks on you.

Your instant reaction is to pray, but you think it's a little late for that. Your second reaction is to beg. 

Your voice wavers as you speak, hands up defensively, "Pl-please don't, don't, hurt me..."

"Hurt you? Oh no no no, sweet thing. I'd never want to hurt you," Sun tuts, his words have a softness you've never witnessed before, "I'll admit I haven't done the best job of showing it, but I do care."

In your shock of it all, you can just stand there, fear dissipating just slightly while blinking a few times, "Excuse me?"

He goes off on his own little tangent, starting to pace as he speaks more to himself than to you, "Believe me, coming to terms with the idea that you of all people would catch my interest wasn't, easy, but I think I've been dealing with it to the best of my ability," He turns to you, hands together, "And now, you've made this entire process that much simpler!"

"...Simpler how?" You're still processing the dead people thing; you aren't even comprehending the idea that Sun likes you. 

"Well, now we can so spend time catching you up to speed," Sun tilts his head, tone eerily cheering as his eyes lift into crescents, "You didn't think you could leave now, did you?"

You bolt.

You try to remember how you got back here, which ways to turn to get back to the front. Given you're kind of freaking out right now, it's not easy.

Sun's behind you, somewhere. Sure you can hear him; those bells were loud on top of the mechanical clinks and whirls his limbs emit as he follows after you. The problem is that he's eight feet tall and you can only run so damn fast. 

You find the entrance. The door's shut.

"Shit. Shit, come on," You fumble for your keycard, shaking hands swiping it through the card reader. 

"Access denied. Access denied. Access denied."

You hear Sun a few aisles over, "Ah, ah, ah. Leaving so soon? After you worked so hard to get in here?"

You curse under your breath as he continues.

"And really, to not bother to listen after I told you to stay is really, quite, rude," From the sounds of it, he's now where you just were, and seemed to be expecting you to still be trying to get out, having the gull to be annoyed about it, "Well there goes that dramatic reveal."

You don't know where you're running but you realize you're going to need to find a destination soon, because you're going to eventually run out of stamina. And Sun will not. 

A hiding place. You need a hiding place. 

"I put in a lot of effort to keep this from you, Starshine," Sun says to the empty space, "Spare you from this thing, that I've become."

There is nowhere to hide in here. It's just the same repeating rows over and over again. Could you maybe circle back? Start climbing? Just something-

"It's not a willing participation, you know. If you understood how this f̴͉̲̲̳̐̑̈́̍̀eė̴̘̽̋l̴͍̣͎̙͎̉̃ṣ̶̪̀, maybe you'd be a bit more sympathetic. Though I suppose that's a big ask."

You need to quiet your breathing, collect yourself a bit. Find another option.

You swallow, trying to calm down as you rest back against the cardboard. It sort of works. 

Until you become acutely aware of the fact that Sun is now silent. 

You strain your ears, eyes flicking back and forth to either end of the aisle. You're closer to the one on your left than the right, but you wonder if it'd be worth the risk to dash to the other side. 

Unfortunately, you don't get the chance.

You take a step away from the makeshift wall, only able to react after the fact as Sun comes from around the corner, the surprise of seeing him making your trip backwards as you spin to face him. 

He catches you, and you notice that the ribbons which usually wrap around his wrists are missing. He tricked you.

"Caught you friend~" He chuckles lightly at the joke. 

You can only look up at him with fear. His pupils are purple, you're sure of it now. He leans in, rays spinning. 

"Maybe next time you'll listen when I say something is off-limits."

🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃

Since y'all liked reading the notes I write for Confused Spirit, here's the one I wrote for this lmao:

You can read the others here, sorry for being late with this! As you can see, she was a biggin'. Thanks for reading!

[ancha-aus]

RealAgeAU Drabble - Customers

I am back! And we are still with Ccino :D @spotaus drabble required tag <3

First drabble Prev drabble Next drabble

No edit or beta as always. we are here for a fun time!

*--------------*

Ccino snaps out of his staring as someone else stands before him impatiently. Ccino pulls up his best customer service smile and gets to work.

The line is long but it is for the better.

Keeps his mind off the damning newspaper that got delivered to him.

He makes his way throught the line easily enough though. Even if it is busier than usual. And with cross universe customers too. Which sucks for different reasons.

an Alphys and undyne walk up to the counter to return their things. Ccino takes it with a nod and a good day wish as he goes to wash them.

The Undyne speaks "hey... so... I know people have been... rude to you about the whole... letting the gang stay and stuff?"

Ccino rolls his eye lights as he cleans the glass "That are just rumours. I just said that we can't speak for reasons who gods that we don't understand."

Undyne huffs but ALphys mutters "Sorry... the news that Dream had been wrong was... shocking and well... people need time to process it adn stuff..."

Ccino puts the things away and crosses his arms "Anything else i can get you?"

Undyne glares "What the hell man? We are trying to apologise."

Ccino sighs "your apology misses the words 'I am sorry.'." and he stares at them.

Undyne glares but ALphys stops her before speaking again "We are sorry... YOu were right... most of us never understood what the gods did and why and assumed a lot... I am sorry... I am also sorry that the only way people were more open to it was... well..." she eyes hte newspaper before shooting him a smile "must be rough... never being able to at least tell him that you didn't judge him."

Ccino's grip tightens on the cup. Don't react.

the two fianlly take the clue to leave and do as much.

Ccino lets out a sigh in relieve and his sight finds the newspaper again. THe headline is clear as day.

NIGHTMARE PRONOUNCED DEAD.

Ccino glares at it before turning it over. Maybe he can use it to light the fire place later or something.

There is no way he is dead. Those idiots just gave up searching or looking out for him. Ccino can know. he actually read the whole piece instead of just the headline and figured out that they never found any clues that could prove he had died. They are just assuming he died because they hadn't seen any hints of him living anywhere.

Ccino knows this to not be truth. Mostly because Dream would at least tell him that Ngihtmare had died. they have an understanding after the last time they met.

Ccino huffs and looks at one of the cats "You would think they would learn a thing or two about assuming things." the cat just nuzzles his hand.

"Yeah people tend to keep assuming stuff."

Ccino jumps and turns around quickly. He hadn't heard the doorbell ring.

Before him stands another him. Blue hoody. pink slippers. black shorts. white eye lights. pretty much a blank slate of how most of them start.

Okay no that was rude. That is a bad way to think about it. Ccino met Classic. he is a great and helps sneak him quite a few supplies.

Ccino smiles brightly "Didn't hear you come in! sorry for that. what can i get you?"

the other, Ccino will just think of him as Sans for now, looks at the menu and hums before looking bakc at him "I don't want something off the menu."

Ccino raises a brow and keeps grinning "The adoption process can be started at any moment. mister....?"

Sans grins wider and tilts his skull "the skeleton. obviously."

Ccino can't help but snort "Why is that joke always funny?"

Sans looks rather smug "because it is. and here i was afraid customer service killed your humour."

Ccino sighs "oh trust me. it is tryin and testing me daily." he pets one of the cats that has gotten near "the cats make it worth it though."

Sans nods and leans on his fist "can't help but notice the little notice on your bullet board. the one about dream having messed up? What is the deal with that?"

Ccino frowns but figures out what this guy wants. curious dude it seemed who just wanted to learn stuff. Ccino shrugs "figured it would be good to keep the notice up for others."

Sans raises a brow "That is all?" He sounds... disappointed... maybe.

Ccino can't help but be a bit unnerved. this guy is really hard to read for some reason and he can't quite figure out why.

Ccino shrugs "I mean. It is also nice to see mister perfect mess up for once." ccino doesn't even fully mean it anymore. After Dream and him sat together and spoke?

ccino has more sympathy for him.

But Dream is also the reason Ccino isn't seeing Ngihtmare anymore and that shit still hurts and he is just worried about the other.

He really needs to get somekind of help because he is feeling protective over a god. that can't be healthy.

Sans chuckles and nods "Wiht that i can agree. Still weird that people would just think tiping the balance that badly would end well." he snorts and leans on his fist.

Ccino relaxes a bit and nods "exactly! Like. Sure i don't like being sad more than any other person and it sucks if bad things happen to you. but sometimes stuff jsut doens't go well and sometimes bad things happen! And i would honestly much prefer the ability to get pissed or sad about it over just the whole 'oh well! It could be worse!' attitude the whole time." it just sounds exhausting.

Ccino sighs and rubs his cheek "sorry for that." a glance.

Sans however doesn't seem bothered. those eye lights seem more intent for a moment and ccino feels himself freeze.

like a prey in the sight of a very very dangerous predator.

than the moment breaks and sans grins.

It is weird. he never actually did anything different with his eyes or anything. it was just the air around them. charged with danger. it is hard to explain.

Sans leans back "well it is nice to have some people agree with my unpopular opinion." he shrugs before poking the face down newspaper "what about the big news?"

Ccino huffs "i call bull. there is no way he is gone." he doesn't want to believe it. and unless he sees the dust of him himself or saw a video of him dying and actual solid proof Ccino will keep denying it.

Sans tilts his skull "you sound very secure. met him before?"

ccino almost answers honestly but pulls hismelf back. this is a stranger. and if anyone else knew that nightmare visits this place? No that is too much of a risk. Ccino wants this place to stay fully neutral and give his friend the ability to return here if he needs it.

Ccino shrugs "nope. never met him." ccino had gotten pretty good at lying.

sans just stares at him.

ccino just stares back. don't continue speaking. showing nerves can be a sign he is lying, which he very mcuh is, and he is trying to not get caught.

sans sighs "shame. i bet he would have liked the support."

ccino frowns and stares at sans "why do you say that? he had his whole gang right?"

sans looks a bit smugger and shrugs "still. he worked with those right? Must have sucked to be trying to fix soemthing for the good of the whole multiverse and yet have everyone curse you out and want you gone."

Ccino frowns and rubs his arm "yeah..." he imagined that before. there is a very good reason he was always excited to have nightmare visit. to have him take a seat and just drink and eat as the cats grew brave enough to attack the tendrils.

eventually nightmare would bring a book with him to read. and the few times ccino caught him having fallen asleep in the reading chair with multiple cats all over him.

yeah...

ccino has no doubt it was terrible for him.

sans nods and ccino shoots out of his thinking. fuck what could the other have seen on his face.

Sans stretches "anyway. i should head home. nice to meet you ccino." he waves and walks towards the door.

Ccino watches the other exit. he pulls up a hood and takes a sideways step through a portal that just opens for him.

weird.

Ccino frowns as he suddenly realises he never introduced himself. both himself and his guest. yet his guest did know his name.

Maybe he heard it from others or-

Ccino looks down as his hand suddenly touches somethign. a letter and a bunch of gold coins.

Ccino counts out the coins first and notices it is enough to cover a coffee and little pastry. yet the other never ordered anything?

next he grabs the letter. it is closed with a little seal with a crescent moon on it. He opens the letter and freezes.

Hello. there is someone who would like to talk to you and we think you would also like to talk to him. If you are open to speaking with him. Make sure your shop is closed for the public tomorrow. make sure the curtains are closed. In short? Do what you would normally do if NM visited you. Just make sure to do it over a whole day. If tomorrow this isn't done? We will assume you have no interest and move on. If anyone is there who shouldn't be or if you tell anyone about this? We will move on and assume you have no real interest. See you tomorrow Ccino.

At the end a small crescent moon image again.

Ccino feels his soul and head spin before he rushes to his printer and snatches a paper. he quickly writes down that for personaly reasons the store will be closed for the next day, and he makes sure to mark it with the actual date as well.

He puts it on the window of the door before rushing back to the counter and rereading the letter.

This could be a trap. He should contact the stars.

But honestly? He just wants to hope this is exactly as it says it is. He just really wants to see his friend again.

--

Hello Journal.

I am still getting used to writing in this but today was a good day and I had some big feelings again. And Dusty did say it helps to write those down.

The feeling didn't happen today but a few days ago. We were outside relaxing in the nice sunlight as we took our times to check the grapes. Oh I was with Ror that day.

Anyway. Suddenly Killer came running over looking very happy. Aparently the multiverse had decided that with how inactive i had become I probably died. So they declared me dead.

I didn't even know Killer went out into the multiverse still. I don't like that, I am afraid he will get in trouble but aparently that isn't something i have to worry about anymore.

When I first heard the news? I was happy. It was such a relieve. People will really leave me alone. For real this time.

The others were happy as well, I could tell! Cross cheered and picked me up to hug me while Horror sighed in pure relieve. Dust had nodded and offered we could celebrate by going to the tavern and enjoying our night there.

Then... I got sad all of the sudden. It confused me. Why would i be sad? Everyone would think i was gone. everyone would really leave me and my dads alone.

So why would I be sad? I wasn't even sure why and my dads didn't either. They thought it was about Dream and well... Dream always brings up complicated emotions but this was different.

Then I finally remembered. I remembered one of the few universes i liked to visit myself. It kinda felt like i got busted? When I told them about Ccino and his cafe. The spot i could just be for a while. Just exist without anythign important. kinda like a self imposed time out.

I hated that i told them. I sounded so ungrateful! Like i still wanted more. So i told them it was fine and i know why we are hiding. It is straight up for me after all. to keep me safe because i am weak and useless and-

No. Cross said not to let those thoughts run free. There. crossed out. much better.

Anyway... yeah.. I felt bad about it but they said they would look into it. Like they do when we plan to visit Dreamtale for the graves.

Well, that is it for now. I am still not sure how to sign these off... so... bye i guess? Until the next part. - NM

*--------------*

First drabble Prev drabble Next drabble

[morganeberries]

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ:

Harry Potter HC's!

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ:

This headcanons are basicly living in my mind,they rented an apartment there,so I needed to share them with some people that might appreciate it!

Just a disclaimer: english is not my first language,please correct my grammar if necessary,I take constructive criticism if it's commented in a not rude way.

It's my first post,hope you enjoy it,and let me know your opinions!

And please give me tips on how to make my posts look better!!

•Undiagnosed PTSD

Now hear me out on this one, because it actually makes sense. Harry has been dealing with life threatening situations since he was 11,not to mention the domestic abuse he suffered from the Dursleys.

We didn't get to see much of his mental health until the fifth book/movie,where he actually starts to show some symptoms,he was constantly angry,lashing out with minor inconveniences,even with his best friends.

He also starts to have nightmares,constantly,regarding and remembering the end of the Triwizzard tournament and Voldemort being back,it gets to a point where he disgusts himself for having some type of connection with Voldemort.

In the sixth book/film, we see him trying to deal with everything that's happening,or that happened.He mentions to Dumbledore that riding the train helps him take his mind off things, it's one of his ways of dealing with everything.

I won't even comment on the search for the Horcruxes and the Hogwarts war, because it's self-explanatory, no one comes out of a war without scars, especially Harry. He lost a lot,he lost his youth, childhood.

I also headcanon that he didn't come back to finish his studies because he couldn't bear seeing the castle reconstructed,he couldn't bear stepping there again after everything he went through,that he was afraid that even if Voldemort was gone, something would go wrong,and everything would be in danger again.

•Touch-Starved

This one is quite obvious, Harry was deprived of affection and care since his creation, he could only know a little of what a warm hug was like when he met his friends.

And he is so oblivious of how starved he is.

He'd find himself craving a hug sometimes,but is too shy and awkward to ask for one,even from his closest friends.

But when he receives some kind of physical affection such as a hand on his shoulder,he steps in heaven.

That's why sometimes he likes to be apart from his friends,to be away for a long time, because when they meet again,they always greet him with warm,excited hugs,filled with longing of being away from eachother too long.

•Good cook,shit baker

What convinces me of this headcanon is the clips from the first film of Harry making breakfast for the Dursleys,even though its a bit sad he had to learn how to cook so early due the abusive household.

I also think that he deliberately offers to help with the cooking when he's at the Weasleys,even though Molly always tells him that it's not needed,he goes against her word sometimes and stays there,getting what she needs or doing some things while she does others.

But do not let this man near an oven baking a cake,brownies,whatever it is,he does NOT know shit about desserts.

Sometimes,he would try and bake something (mostly brownies) while the Dursleys were out of the house,it never went well, he never got it right, he always burned it or skipped a step in the recipe,or something just went wrong whenever he tried baking.

Maybe he was made for the salty,the usual meals of the day,not midnight snacks.

•Has no knowledge about self-care

Now let me tell you, Harry definetly uses a two-in-one shampoo, what the Dursleys bought for him was the basic of the basics. And I just know that Harry was too shy to ask Hermione for advice or the right products,he was never taught to talk about these things.

He definetly had acne at some point,I'd say at his fifth year, where he was stressed the most,but the acne was only a little bit on his face,they mostly appeared on his back,a lot of painful pimples on his shoulders and his back,which made it hard to pop them.

And hear this,he probably had frizzy hair due the two-in-one he used,dry ass hair. He only started to get to know some products during his sixth year,and it was because of Luna.

When they were about to head out to Slughorns Christmas party,she noticed how he was struggling to put his hair in place,so she took out a little bottle of hair oil she had in her pocket,she showed him how to use it,but the aplied it for him that night.

After that,he started to ask her about which products he should use,even if he always got a little flustered as he asked her,since it wasn't something he usually did.

•Inexperienced (slightly NSFW)

We all know by this point that he hadn't had a normal life,so obviously,his love life lacked experience. He gets awkward whenever he tries to flirt with some girl,and the guys he ask for advice(his friends) were complete douchebags.

Not to mention that his first kiss was with a CRYING GIRL,IT WAS DEFINETLY NOT THE BEST MOMENT,ESPECIALLY WHEN SHE WAS LOOKING AT THE PICTURE OF HER DEAD BOYFRIEND.

Not to mention they only kissed because of mistletoe.

He always had trust issues whenever it came to dating,due his fame,his titles,he never knew if people where interested in him because of who he really was or because he was "the chosen one","the boy who lived", "The captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch team" and so on.

Harry didn't know how to act when he had his first stable relationship, since he didn't really have any models,but he tried his best,always asking about how to act,or what he should do.

Entering the most carnal part,he would definetly be awkward,confused,a nervous wreck,he never even saw a shirtless woman before,so it would definetly be a shock to him when he went to the next level.

I think that his life was so full of stress and traumatic experiences that he never got to fully know his own body,what made him feel good,or what kinks he had,the poor boy was new to everything.

So it took him a long time to actually get the hang of sexual experiences,but he still would get shy everytime he did it,it was his nature. But it didn't mean he was innocent,no,the complete opposite,he was just too awkward.

•Bi-curious

I like to think that Cedric Diggory was his awakening, because he was indeed a really handsome bloke. (I do NOT ship the two of them, don't come after my family.)

It was the 90's at Britain,things were still a bit conservative, but I don't really know how it worked at the wizzard world(we didn't have lot of representative LGBTQ+ couples,so that makes it hard to know the circumstances.)

At some point, Harry found himself admiring some of the male older students in a way he didn't really expect.

Sometimes in the changing room,he peaked a little bit at his shirtless teammates,but quickly turned away once he reminded himself of what he was doing.

He never got to experience things with boys,and he wonders how it would go,how it works.

And it felt weird for him, because he didn't know about bisexuality,he was confused, because he at some point realized he was attracted to boys,but also to girls.

•David Bowie fan

DO NOT ASK ME WHY I THOUGHT OF IT,I JUST DID.

in my head,he bought a walkman just to listen to his albums.

I picture that one day he was washing the dishes at the Dursleys,at his third year, still during summer break, and the radio started playing 'heroes',he just loved it,that was the first song of Bowie that he learned to sing top to bottom.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

[lunaflowerlight]

The bathtub would make a good crying nook, I’d decided. Narrow, contained, and just comfortable enough to wallow in self pity in for hours on end, but still hard and cold enough so as to not be too kind to myself. 

I curled up ready for a good sob, but there’s a knock at the door.

‘Miss Hooper, Molly, I know you’re in there. I can smell your perfume.’

Oh, this is awkward.  Confession time: I’m not hiding in my own bathtub and I’m not in my bathroom....or even my flat....Ok, maybe it isn’t such a good place to have breakdown after all...But in my defense my near perfect boyfriend, Harold - the name being the only imperfection - had just dumped me on a packed tube carriage and there was no way I was going to stick around to cry in front of all those embarrassed commuters, so I leapt off at the first station not even caring which one it was.

I was in a daze and I don’t remember Mrs Hudson letting me in. She must have thought me a client. I just knew the address: 221B Baker Street, that’s where people go when they need help but no one but him can help. 

The door opens and I briefly think about snatching at a towel to hide under, but that would be one step too far towards madness. I’m not sure that I care too much in any case.

Sherlock Holmes - or The Jerk  as I sometimes think of him - is a recent acquaintance. He sneaks into my corner of the hospital and beats the corpses with a riding crop. He can be rude, but I think he’s okay. He certiantly likes to think of himself as being the smartest person in the room, because he is usually.

Right now, he just looks baffled. 

‘Why are you crying in my bathtub?’ he eventually asks. ‘Obviously, I can see your boyfriend has just ended things with you, quite brutally, but why are you here?’

I glance around the room searching for inspiration.

‘It just seemed like a good place to hide from the world. Don’t you ever feel like hiding?’

For a moment the cold mask of arrogance slips and a softer expression shows on his face. He comes sits by the tub.

‘Sometimes,’ he admits. ‘You’ll be okay, Molly, you’ll find someone.’

Fat tears begin to fall once more.

‘I don’t understand people,’ I choke, squeezing my eyes shut. ‘I mean, when they’re corpses they’re easy to understand, but when alive....they don’t make sense....that’s why my relationships don’t last...I’m a freak, Sherlock. I’ll always be alone.’

I jump when I feel his hand close around mine. I open my eyes, he’s looking so tenderly at me.

‘You won’t be alone because I’ll be your boyfriend,’ he says.

‘What? But we don’t know each other.’

He brushes the wet strands of hair out of my eyes. The light touch of his fingertips against my skin sends a chill down my spine. I’ve never felt anything like it before.

‘Isn’t love not being able to stop thinking about one another?’ he whispers, sounding unsure of himself. ‘To think that someone is the most beautiful, interesting person in the world? To care about them? And to not be afraid of being vulnerable in front of them? I think that’s what love must be, although I’ve never been in love before, but I feel it for you, Molly. I felt it since I first saw you eight weeks and three days ago. Would you like me to be your boyfriend?’

I rest my face again the warm palm of his hand and nod. 

‘I think I love you too,’ I hear myself say.

‘Perhaps we can figure love out together? Please stay.’

I can’t help but laugh a little with relief and happiness and sadness and shame and confusion, a huge mixed up swirl of emotions I can’t identify. I just know I feel strongly. I want to laugh and cry and dance around and bite and kiss, kiss, kiss him.

‘I’d like that. I’ll stay,’ I say shakily, clinging to him for comfort. ‘Please hold me.’

He sits on the side of the tub and wraps his arms tightly around me, rocking me, kissing my hair. 

This might be love, feeling safety and exhilaration all at the same time.

[jodilin65]

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 28, 2006 It seems Tom’s right so far in saying that all those wins I expected to get in January should start coming in now since it usually takes a couple of months. Yes, I got two surprise wins in the mail today. One was 3 tubes of lip gloss; one clear, one pink, one red. The really cool win was the Scrubbing Bubbles shower cleaning system. You hook it on your shower pipe and the battery-operated rotator sprays out the cleanser after the last shower of each day. You put the bottle upside down in the thing and it pierces its cap so it can go through the sprayer. It came with 4 bottles and these bottles are of a pretty good size, too. Once you push the button, it beeps for 15 seconds to give you time to get out of the shower and close the curtain so it doesn’t spray you. This was a $40 value, and the lip glosses were $6.50 each.

Tom’s also a real hit with winning Pepsi contests. This is who he won the Xbox from. He won a $20 check. Every minute they’re giving away $20 checks, so I would’ve been surprised if he didn’t win one, even though we’ve barely entered a dozen codes so far. The ones that are inside the bottle caps of the Mountain Dews I’ve been getting, that is, since he doesn’t like Mountain Dew. They have a 5-check limit, so hopefully he’ll win more.

March should be a fun month shopping-wise with the mannequin, a Tonner, a Barbie, some clothes from a catalog we got, and the sex toys. At least I can have fun by myself if we’re not going to want to have fun with each other.

SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 26, 2006 When I look into the near future, such as the next 6 months, a smile comes to my face when I think of all our shopping plans, and I look forward to it. When I think long-term, however, I just want to cry. Or scream. Or both. I feel like our only long-term choices are to stay here and freeze for many more years till we can come up with enough money to buy a rural house in Sacramento, or get out of here faster, but be stuck back in Phoenix, so to speak. Back in the midst of a chaotic, always rocking city. Unless I win big time, I see no way out of having to go through the thorns before we can get to the rose. Meaning, we’re going to have to start off in the city where we’re either attached to loud, rude and obnoxious neighbors or at least close enough to feel like we are before we can get out of the city if we’re even meant to be outside of it. I’m still afraid that even if we could make it back into a rural area, something up there would just yank us by the throats and drag us back to the city yet again.

All I can do for now is hope no one comes to run us out of here and that we leave this house when we’re ready to.

I’m also looking forward to ordering the mannequin less than a week from now! It’s so hard to believe that it’s actually going to finally become a reality! I’m glad, however, that I didn’t get one 5 years ago. Not just because of all the moving, but because they didn’t seem to have any for under $400, and the faces weren’t as nice as they are now.

I decided that not only will I never write to Paula again unless I hear from her, but no more letters to Mary either until she writes me. And I still have 20 pages of the book they returned to send to her, too. I’m just sick of the one-sided friendships and pen-pals. If Paula wasn’t going to send a few bucks towards her stuff, she could’ve at least sent a letter confirming the package. She’s just so damn selfish! Why are the simplest of things so damn hard for some people??? As for Mary, she only writes regularly when she’s got favors to ask of me, but since I put my foot down on that, I rarely hear from her. Some friends I’ve got, huh? Well, when and if I ever hear from them again I’ll wait a few months myself before I respond and let them wonder just what the hell’s up with me if they ever do such a thing.

It’s been Maricopa-windy today. I’ve never seen anything like it in Oregon until today. It’s cool to hear all the wind chimes going berserk. At least the snow is just about gone.

Tom assured me that abortion can’t become illegal and explained to me how Roe vs. Wade protects women’s rights, etc. The problem with this damn country is that it’s 80% Christian/Catholic, and most of them simply aren’t like Mary who will express their opinions but will still allow others to be who they are. She’s no conversion freak. Sometimes I wish we were in some other country. Most other countries are of other religions and they think it’s wrong to try to get others to convert. They let others be who/what they are. Yet other countries don’t have luxury items and do all the shopping we do. If there’s one way and one way only that I can relate to my so-called “fellow” Americans it’s that I’m just as materialistic. Hey, I love stuff! If I didn’t know any better I’d seriously believe Dureen O was anything but Jewish! That bitch sure was one hell of a pushy control freak, but that’s why I don’t associate with her on top of her negative, abusive, hypocritical ways. Perhaps she was Christian in her last life to have had such a be-like-me personality.

Meanwhile, people will continue to accept and praise people like our lovely little crap rapper stars that kill people more often than most of us pee. That’s not even real music or talent. They’re just not true artists. All they are is a bunch of glorified gangsters. No, “ganstas” since they can’t talk right.

I still don’t know what irks me more – those who go out of their way to be like others, or who go out of their way to be just the opposite. I know I can’t stand anyone other than gays, Asians and Indians. Priests and pastors and other church-associated people make me sick. When they aren’t busy preaching bigotry, they’re molesting children.

Tom says it’s just a test case and reminded me that South Dakota’s such a cold place where nobody goes but the religious whackos, and therefore you can do crazy things like this in places like that, but that there’ll be a backlash and the liberals will overthrow them soon enough and that most places would never do such a thing. Especially since Wade vs. Roe says it’s a crime to stop women from having abortions that aren’t late-term. He assured me that women won’t lose their rights. I hope not because if they started making abortion illegal in more and more places, women would eventually lose their rights to birth control too, and a whole lot of other rights.

I think if anything that it should be the other way around and that they should be ordering forced abortions and sterilizations for crackheads, violent criminals and abusive people like Doe & Tammy. I still don’t think it’s all about whether or not it’s murder. That’s part of it, yes, but I think it’s also about control. If people can influence other people’s lives, they will. So if they want to control people then they should consider preventing babies being born to the wrong people.

They should bomb SD and show them what can happen to those who try to mold others according to their standards. That’d really scare them and make them think twice!

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 24, 2006 Oh, to win 60 grand! I’d settle for that just fine. Since temporarily being “suspended” from life and being jobless/homeless is a scary experience I don’t want to go through again, we could use 10 grand to live on till we found a house in California. With that amount, we wouldn’t have to take the first thing that was quiet at the moment, but that wasn’t set on a stage for future chaos. Then we could take 20 grand to get into the house, 10 more to get whatever we wanted for the house, 10 more to get all the dolls I want and things like new clothes, and 10 more to get a silicone doll. If anything this would be more than we’d need.

If I thought seeing headlines about the havoc the damn Arabs wreak on people pisses me off, well, seeing the headline I just saw certainly made my blood boil, too. South Dakota’s governor is “inclined” to sign a bill banning all abortions unless it’s medically necessary to save the woman’s life. That is so, so wrong, unfair and cruel! What a slap in the face of women. And this setback comes after I just read a poll saying that two-thirds of Americans are pro-choice. They won’t even make exceptions for rape and incest victims which is even sicker. Although women may continue to be too stupid to use birth control against unwanted pregnancies, and men may continue to have no willpower or self-control as far as not cumming inside the woman goes, or not cumming at all for that matter, no woman should be forced to give birth. No woman. It’s wrong and I don’t care what anyone says. It’s wrong. Period.

They’re going to have a real mess on their hands, that’s for sure. Not only are they going to make the overpopulation problem worse, but unwanted babies will be abandoned on street corners like crazy, and women will be killing themselves trying to perform their own abortions. How the hell can some say abortion is murder when the fetus has zero awareness??? If a doctor who performs abortions is a murderer, then so is someone who pulls up weeds in their yard. Why are people so damn stupid and ignorant?! We have no conscience till after we’re born. This is why we can’t even remember being born. It burns me up to see women stripped of choices and of the right to have a say in what happens to their own bodies and lives. I thought we crawled out of the dark ages long ago. Women should decide whether or not they give birth, not the fucking government, Supreme Court, president or anyone else! What is it with all these men trying to tell women what they can/can’t do with their lives and bodies anyway? I’m sick of women having to do this or do that all because some cock says she has to. These damn cocks don’t own women! When they aren’t busy trying to prevent a woman from conceiving, they’re trying to keep her from aborting. Anything to control women. They bitch about the world in general getting too overpopulated yet they want to stop abortions. How fucking twisted people are. Mississippi’s trying to pass the same law and they already have fucked up abortion laws. Women are required to have counseling first. I’d never let anyone tell me I had to be counseled for something I chose to do with my own life/body. I’d be like, it’s my life, my body, I’ve already made up my mind, so get rid of it or I will! And I would, too. On the other hand, if I found out I was pregnant when it was too late to do something about it, I’d be more inclined to talk adoption so we could save money and have a life. Besides, you gotta be on days only.

We can’t all agree on every issue there is, so why must it be one side’s way or the other? Why can’t people just do what suits them best and quit trying to control others and make them into who/what they are? Why is the world so damn black and white?! I’m so sick of people trying to force their beliefs on others. Why can’t those who don’t want abortions simply not get them and why can’t those who do want them get them while they all just leave each other alone? If abortion is such a sin in God’s eyes, then why did he give us the knowledge of how to perform it? For God’s sake, fetuses aren’t even babies! That’s why they call them “fetuses.” During the first trimester, it’s merely an embryo. During the second it’s a fetus. Only during the last trimester does it literally become a baby, but it still has no feeling or awareness. Any legitimate doctor or scientist can vouch for that. Do you remember being in your mother’s womb? Do you remember being born?

I read the comments people left about the article and they agree with me. One person asked, “What if your daughter was raped, impregnated and living in SD?”

That’s a damn good question! What’s in store next for women? Will they get their rights to vote revoked? Will they be told their husbands/boyfriends have a right to beat them? Would you want to be told you can’t get that painful wisdom tooth pulled because it’s a sin to remove something God supposedly put there and therefore you should be forced to suffer instead?

Meanwhile, the women of SD will no doubt fight for their rights back and I’m sure they’ll win too, when the people see all the problems this ban will bring, not to mention any violence that could also come of it. Most men are for abortion since they don’t wish to be fathers, and I’m sure that most who are involved in trying to ban abortion do it just to control women.

And of course it goes the other way around, too. A woman shouldn’t be denied a child if she wants one unless she’s proven to have abused children in the past. She should be allowed to try artificial insemination or invitro if she wants one and no one will let her have one, or if she’s gay, or if she just wants to go it alone. If these methods don’t work, she should be allowed to adopt.

It was never people’s opinions that bothered me so much as their actions. I learned a long time ago that if I waste my time worrying about what others think I’d have a very hard life. I don’t care if they think abortion’s wrong. I don’t care if they think gays shouldn’t marry. I don’t care if they think blacks should have more rights. It’s when they try to run other people’s lives according to theirs that I have a problem. People seem to believe they can’t be themselves unless they get others to follow their ways. I wish people would just do their thing and leave others alone!

One has to wonder if this governor has some kind of a death wish or something. If I were governor I’d never sign a ban like that even if I wanted to because too many more people are for abortion rather than against it and I’d fear for my life and that of my family, but you know how it is. It’s those in politics and law enforcement that tend to think they’re invincible when in fact it’s the other way around. That’s just human arrogance for you. I’d be afraid to be a cop because I would have sense enough to know that no, I’m not God just because I had a badge, but vulnerable because people don’t like being told what to do. They sure love to tell others what to do, though.

These horrendously loud, vibrant car stereos. That’s what they should be banning!

Someone else also wrote, “Yet they keep the death penalty.”

Yeah, people wonder why is it that it’s ok to kill killers (and I agree it is), yet a crime to remove unwanted fetuses that haven’t an ounce of awareness? It’s like you’re not a true American if you don’t try to control the world. Better yet, you’re not a true human being. Maybe we should be just like everyone else and hound the legislature to do something about these ungodly car stereos. Then we can go eat in burger joints in peace and move about our homes without it sounding like someone’s beating a hammer against the walls and doors every few minutes or so. I just don’t understand why we have laws that shouldn’t exist and laws that should exist. Why do we have laws allowing legal discrimination of gays yet no laws to enable us to live in peace?

I got the two adult star action figures and while they are fairly nice, they’re just too damn small. It’s a good thing I never got those anime figures because I know I wouldn’t want anything just 4” small. Even Barbie’s a giant compared to these dolls. I’d still love to win more if I ever won one of the certificates in the monthly draws, but it’s not worth paying for any more of them.

During the week I was off the Claritin I jumped from 121 pounds to 125 and now I’m back down to 123.

Walmart finally realized they never charged us the $130 for the bed platform and so they did so the other day. It’s just our typical luck. We never get any breaks in life. Except for the coupon I just won in an instant win game for a free DiGiorno pizza.

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 22, 2006 Haven’t got shit yet as far as the surveys go, but am I surprised? No, of course not. I may be allowed to sell things every now and then, but I’m definitely not meant to generate money regularly.

I wonder how many more months or even years it’ll be before I don’t have to see words like Iran, Iraq, Muslims, the Middle East, and Arabs in the news. Damn, it gets old! Seeing headlines about the US aiding Iraq in rebuilding their fucking shrines really makes my blood boil! I’m so, so goddamn sick of our money going to other countries when there are plenty of people right here that need it more, such as people that are homeless and forced to live in motels cuz their well-to-do relatives don’t give a shit. Can the US really lack that much self-respect that it’s willing to aid countries that try to kill people??? Well, if people are willing to put up with abusive friends, family, and lovers, why not?

It hit the 50s today. I can tell by the amount of barking and stereos I’ve heard. Yes, the drive for attention is a strong one. Another one I can’t figure out.

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 21, 2006 The 3 houses for rent in this area are still going for $800. However, if she can stay put next door and whoever rents the house on the other side can live in it rather than in the yard in between, then I’m all for staying, assuming we really can control the bugs when they wake up because not many houses go for $450. Period. Not many houses are this small and cheap to heat either.

The Asian lady sold the store where we got the bamboo plants so we’ll have to hope these last. We could order them online if need be, but I’d rather these live awhile. They really do seem to help, though I still fear it’s just a matter of time before we’re back in the poorhouse, as usual.

After a very uncomfortable cold snap that lasted a few days, we’ve warmed up to the 40s, normal for this time of year. It was so damn cold at night, though, that I had to run the heater in the bedroom continually and I was still cold. Usually, I can turn it way down when I’m asleep and buried under the comforter.

Oh, the things people do to make a racket. Big city, small town, you can’t do shit in peace anywhere! We walked up to the burger place right by where he works and were all set to eat there, but I couldn’t stand to do so to the crash and boom of some rude bitch’s bass parked outside awaiting its order, so we walked back and ate here. If I asked this before, I’ll ask it again – how the hell can these things still be legal??? Anyway, their burgers and malts are so-so, but the deep-fried mushrooms sure were good.

I got my candy from Harry & David’s today. It’s delicious. Tom will like the chocolate mint candies and the chocolate truffles, but not the chocolate Bing cherries.

I have been a bit hungrier and more congested since stopping the Claritin, so I’ll resume taking it on Friday when he does the grocery shopping. It’ll be interesting to see if it has any renewed vigor after a week without it.

We signed me up for another free email account at mail.com which I’ll use mainly for survey invitations. I’m even doing some in Spanish. I have my doubts about it, though, because so many of them either only enter you in sweepstakes or give you points that you can redeem for money. However, it takes a zillion points and lots of time to rack up enough points to do so. Some will only pay you if you pay shipping charges to try samples.

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 18, 2006 Signing in at a miserable, bone-chilling, teeth-clattering 12º. I wish I didn’t mind apartment life! To go to an apartment in Sacramento would be easy as opposed to renting or buying a house there. It may be quiet and peaceful here, save for occasional car doors next door and car stereos, but it’s sooo cold! The insulation under the house is a joke because the bathroom floor feels like you’re walking on an ice-skating rink and of course sitting on the toilet is like sitting on a ring of ice.

That car left next door shortly after I spotted it and hasn’t returned since that I know of.

I crashed at 3 PM yesterday and woke up cold 6 hours later. I thought my heater broke but found that when I went to pee the light wouldn’t come on. Meanwhile, most of the other lights and outlets worked just fine. So I went into the kitchen and heard Tom out in the utility room. We not only got a few inches of snow and are unusually cold for this time of year, but the wind was so fierce that apparently, it blew the snow onto one of the fuses. Both porches were completely covered in snow which is something I’ve never seen before. I’ve seen only a corner of it get snowed on.

I’ve been running hot water in the bathroom and kitchen sinks to keep the pipes warm every hour.

If I thought January’s wins sucked, February’s sure have been even more of a bummer. Tom thinks it’s simply too soon for me to hear about any wins from December and January. I just got a coupon I won 6 months ago for a couple of bucks off string cheese. I didn’t even know I won it and it was sent to the Shasta address.

I hit a rather insulting IW earlier. I got all excited first when it said I won a $20 Mattel toy, but the so-called toy is just a stuffed animal of a hideous, distorted creature that I can’t believe it’s even worth that much. It’s worth more than the DVD which was another one of their instants. I’d rather that than this ugly creature. It’s from some modern cartoon.

I hope my candy gets here next week. Meanwhile, I’m surprised to say that I actually did get that iPod. I really thought they were full of shit! It’s just a cheap iPod that doesn’t even have a display. It’s the Shuffle. Tom thinks it’s cool, so he’s counting it as the last of the prizes I owe him. He’s going to sign me up this weekend at a survey site for my second to last prize. Then for my last prize which will be about 8 more porn dolls, assuming I like the two I’m getting next week, and I think I will, he’ll get them whenever it’s a good time to do so. Thanks to President’s Day, we’re looking at a wimpier check.

I can’t wait till we can turn off the heaters. Oh, the savings we’ll rack up then! But sadly, we’re still 3 months away from any warmth – argh!

Well, I’ve definitely decided that cones/sticks really are the best way to go. The warmer and burner are just too inconsistent, and like I said if it’s going to smoke anyway, it may as well do it in a more efficient way. I’ll just wash the doll’s clothes as they get dingy.

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 17, 2006 We haven’t had as much snow, but it’s been miserably cold. I had started to say a few months back that this winter was snowier, but warmer than last winter - no way! This winter didn’t get as cold temperature-wise, hitting down at 7 degrees versus -7 degrees like last year, but last year the average high was in the 40s and this year it’s been in the 30s or lower. We’ve had way more days this year where it didn’t even get over freezing. I hate it here! At least it’s quiet. And thank God for this wonderful bed setup and the air cleaner being so much louder than the fan! Never have I had such a good daytime sleeping aid. You know you do when UPS, FedEx, and the regular mailman can practically knock on your head yet you sleep right through it. The air cleaner sits on the shelf that’s attached to the bed frame, so it vibrates loudly.

I just went to dump the trash and saw a gray car parked next door that I don’t think I’ve seen before and I’m like - not again! I do not want two cars living over there. They’re asleep right now. She still does most of her coming and going from 11 PM - 3 AM. I assume this is to pick up her mail, get junk food, and visit with others on disability.

I was glad to hear Tom say that the orders at work are picking up once again. The busier he is, the less likely he is to get let go. They let people go like crazy there, so he says. I would hope that God wouldn’t allow this to happen after watching us suffer through enough hardships. If he got let go, sure we could survive till he got another job, but gone would be all our extra money. See, there’s what I hope for and there’s what I expect. I hope to either win big or for him to get a huge raise or partnership or both, but I still expect to be poor and in noisy environments for the most part. I want to go to California and warm up, but I don’t want to deal with the noise, yet at the same time, I want to stay in this cold little dump where it’s quieter and where we have extra money for fun stuff.

The new cage is great. Not too big, not too small, and definitely escape-proof! I wish I’d gotten this cage from the get-go.

I’m up two pounds since I had to go and make a pig of myself two days ago. I had over 2000 calories. I don’t know why I have days like that where I’m absolutely famished and nothing I eat satisfies me. Next time I’ll wish I could binge till I puke. That’ll disgust me enough to kill even my worst hunger pains.

Since the Claritin hasn’t been working as well, I’m going to take a week or so off from it, see how I do, then see if returning to it renews its kick after having gotten it out of my system. I just got too used to it.

I’m reading a Dean Koontz book. He’s one of the best writers ever. The only thing I don’t like about him is the way he glorifies blacks and Hispanics and makes them out to be hard-working people.

This weekend we’ll be signing me up at a survey site. I’ll be one hard-working woman so long as they send me the surveys to take. I’ll try to milk it for every penny I can!

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 15, 2006 Every time I drop another pound or two my body thinks it’s starving since we’re supposed to be overweight when we’re older, and it fights the weight loss by crying out for food. I was so, so hungry when I got up that I could’ve eaten 1200 calories in one sitting! It took 1600 calories to kill most of the hunger. It’ll take a week or so for my body to adjust to the new weight.

The store in Hawaii where I ordered the Yuki figures sent an email saying they had no idea when they were going to get it back in stock and to let them know if I wanted to cancel the order. Just the other day they said they expected them this week, so I said yeah, cancel the order. Meanwhile, everyone else charges more for them so I’m getting a couple of those adult film dolls from this site that has monthly drawings where you can make one free daily entry, plus get entries for every dollar you spend there.

SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 12, 2006 Things are still going well, but they could be better. The orders at Tom’s job have slowed down tremendously, I’m sorry to say. It’s not looking good for a huge salary or partnership, but I kind of figured as much. I still think we’re destined to spend most of our lives poor and struggling in noisy places. I’m almost tempted to put off the California move till he retires because moving long-distance has always been such a disaster for us. For now, I’m just continuing to enjoy the money and peace because the peace part of it may very well be gone soon. The house diagonally across from us, which also has a huge side yard like next door, has apparently sold. At least I don’t think it’s a rental. The people moved out today. This means that the dog or dogs that are inevitably going to end up there will be quite an annoyance to have to listen to whether we stayed here or moved next door. The yard is pretty much between the two houses.

A light came on next door just before midnight. At that hour I doubt they’re showing the place. The owner must’ve decided to check things out, though wouldn’t that be the rental company’s job?

The package curse may’ve been lifted from me, but not from Tom, the poor guy. His packages are either late or the contents are broken. He was looking forward to upgrading and getting a new motherboard, along with a DVD burner and other parts, but the motherboard arrived DOA and it burned up a few parts of his. Fortunately, the company he ordered it from is going to pay for him to ship it back, send him a new one, and give him a little credit. It was still quite a nuisance for him. He couldn’t use the new computer he was building because of the bad motherboard, and he couldn’t use his old computer because of the parts that got damaged. Hopefully, he won’t be put out any more than he already has been.

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 7, 2006 The Claritin still suppresses my appetite most of the time. Perhaps this is why I woke up at a surprising 119 lbs!

I still wish I knew why my wins have slowed down. I had nearly 20 in December and just 8 in January.

Things aren’t looking too promising at work, Tom says. The orders just aren’t coming in as fast as he thought they would. Yeah, I’m not surprised. I still think we’re going to be poor and living in noisy places throughout most of our lives. Why whatever’s up there has been so kind to us since moving beats me. I guess it thinks that even Tom and Jodi S need and deserve a break every now and then. But how long will it last? See, that’s the scary side to doing well; fearing you’ll get kicked back down. Especially since you’ve already been kicked down so many times before. There’s even a scary side to accumulating all the stuff we have and that’s knowing that we now have more stuff to lose, should we ever succeed in doing so like we nearly did when we first got here.

At least we know that if they fired him right now, the stuff we could sell on eBay would cushion us for a while, plus he’d get unemployment for a few months. Still, I’d rather continue to move ahead in life, not up and down and up and down like a damn yo-yo.

If there were two things I wish I could make myself do, it wouldn’t only be to keep a schedule but to love noise, too. We could buy a California house in two years if I did love noise. After I got the things on my list, we could put non-necessities in storage, then rent a room or a studio for $300 a month with everything included. We’d stop buying non-necessities altogether. Since he takes home two grand a month, we could put a grand a month towards the house, then set aside whatever was leftover from the other grand to use for fun shopping once we got into the house. If we did this for two years, we’d have enough money, and by then I could get current on whatever dolls came out along the way. I just want to get “home” in a rural place and have at least $100 a month for fun. It’s still hard to believe this will ever happen. Right now it’s looking like we’ll be city renters indefinitely.

In case I didn’t yet mention it, I managed to kill the cold within a few hours. It’s amazing yet weird how my body spits out the colds that try to set in. Is it really me doing it? Or is it something else?

Now if only my ear wouldn’t be under pressure half the time. I could live with the popping which I have 98% of the time, but the pressure really gets annoying. We still don’t think they’re connected. Tom agrees there’s nothing serious going on, but he thinks it could be sensitivity around the area where the frame was or migraines which can also affect vision. I don’t know what it is and I’m sick of trying to figure it out!

To my surprise, Webshots pulled a picture of me as a toddler in a bathing suit, saying they had to remove children that showed either partial or total nudity. But a bathing suit??? There are lots of community photos of children in bathing suits.

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 3, 2006 Got two surprise wins in the mail today. One is probably going to be useless to us. It’s six $400-off vouchers for 6 different items, mostly electronics. As Tom said, it’d be a good deal if the merchandise wasn’t so outdated and it was stuff we really needed.

The other win was a little better. It was the Cowgirl Chicks prize pack. That included 5 CDs, a sticker, a signed card by Trish Lynn, a battery-operated mini fan, 3 small pouches of cowboy Cajun seasoning (yuck), a hat, a pen, and best of all, a tin of peanut brittle. I thought these were country singers at first, but I guess they’re somehow involved in the rodeo.

We also played our last private sweeps, and both ended up winning in the end. He won a wheel and some other item he hasn’t decided and chosen yet. Me, I decided to postpone the armatures and have him get me those adult film star dolls for my last two wins, and of course he’s going to get me going with the survey membership thing, too. He just wants to wait till March when there’ll be less snow (I hope!) to make it easier to cash any checks I may get. I just hope my only choice in getting them cashed won’t be check-cashing places, because then I’d have to lose quite a bit of each check, and well, I’d be working for them, too! Nothing’s as old to me as doing for others and having them profit from me.

Anyway, I’m sure I’ll like the porn star dolls. They’re the same thing as the playboys, only smaller and with molded hair.

The six 4” anime figures are on their way. They’re in rather suggestive poses, too. Much more so than the porn dolls because the porn dolls just stand in different positions. Yuki, the anime character, lays on her back in one figure, is crouched in a couple of them, though differently, is standing in one, is on all fours in another, and sits in an exercise position in one like she’s doing side stretches. She wears different molded outfits in each one, lingerie, underwear, a dress, a bikini, leather, and a bunny costume.

The really cool thing about the store I’m getting the porn dolls at is that they have daily sweeps! Plus, you get an entry for every dollar you spend at the store.

I’m getting more and more excited as Ashley’s order draws closer. Just 27 days to go! Gosh, life is one big countdown, isn’t it?

We also ordered the new rat cage earlier in the evening.

I guess evil may be on its way to being born because I saw a baby spider the other day. Also, it’s been warmer, up in the 50s.

I told Tom enough is enough of the sex talk because that’s all it is - talk. Neither of us is interested. Period. So why bother talking about something our hearts simply aren’t in?

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 1, 2006 On top of the usual ear discomfort and even feeling like I have a slight cold, the weather is terrible. We have more snow than ever! The snow’s up to the center of the wheels on Tom’s bike and we haven’t seen the grass for two months now. Just when it starts to melt, we get dumped with more.

I went out to shovel the walkway and noticed our dumpster was gone. I have no idea where it could’ve disappeared.

At least I am adapting back to cold climates rather quickly, as much as I hate them. The body has memory, so it could adapt back faster to what it knew for its first 26 years, whereas it took me 5 years or so to adapt to the desert. As quiet as it is, it still sucks that we still have another 4 months of cold weather!

Although my cold-like symptoms are very subtle, I’m determined not to let it settle in like I’ve been doing for 9 years now.

Instead of buying a new body pillow, I slit one end of the case open and plumped it back up by stuffing bits and pieces of foam I cut up. It was an all-day job that caused blistering on my finger from sitting there snipping foam for so many hours, but well worth the effort.

I got a letter from Mary a couple of days ago, but could Paula do the simple task of sending me a quick note to let me know she got the package? Of course not! And I even enclosed an envelope with a rat stamp on it so I could see what it looked like canceled out. Why are the simplest of tasks so hard for some people? God, I’d hate to try asking for something difficult! Anyway, Mary still doesn’t know when she’s getting out but hopes it’s soon. I have to wonder if they’ve been leveling with her. She says they can’t keep her there for more than 3 years. But is this really true? Or is it only what they tell her?

Got a reply from Backpacker, the people I won the DVD from that they want notarized. They say that while Backpacker doesn’t require the affy, their legal department does. Know what I think the case really is? I think the affy is just a clever way of hoping most winners won’t want to bother so that they don’t lose as many prizes. Same with the lotto Tom won.

We’ve decided to stay put at least until August. We both agree we really, really enjoy the extra money we get here and would especially enjoy the savings not running the heat would bring. I could get most of the stuff on my list! Besides Tonners and Barbies, there are these 7½” adult porn star action figures that are as realistic as the playboys. This is because they’re not sculpted but created by way of digital laser imaging scans. They’re exact replicas of their bodies, only scaled down much smaller. They’re pretty neat and while they don’t come with rooted hair, they have removable outfits. Their arms are jointed at the shoulders like Barbie’s, but they can’t move their heads or legs. There are also these Anime things made after some cartoon character named Yuki. The face isn’t as realistic, but the body is. There’s a set of 6 4” figures in different poses for $30. The average 7½” action figure runs between $15 - $35, depending on how intricate it is and the outfit.

I can’t imagine this being the case, but if next door is still empty come August, they’re going to be getting both desperate and worried, so that’s when we’ll jump in and try to get a deal. If not, I just hope no kids move in there if we don’t get the place! Or that if they do they’re either babies or teenagers. Anything in between that will call for many screaming fits in the yard, so I’d rather them be too young to play out there or at least old enough to be somewhat civilized.

Meanwhile, where are all these win notices I was so sure I’d be bombarded with after the first of the year???

The abortion rights people and pro-life activists are still duking it out. I still can’t understand the need for birth control or abortions. I’m not a man so I can’t understand how they feel or why they need to do their getting off inside the woman. I mean, if they’ve absolutely got to cum, can’t they do it in other ways other than inside the woman?

I was surprised to see a dog peering out the living room window of the house across the street 3 days in a row. I was surprised because it was not only indoors, but I don’t believe I’ve ever heard it. I really think the people who were blasting music over there when we first moved in have moved out. This would explain the reason I saw people bringing in all that stuff, including a washer and dryer. I just hope they don’t stick the dog outside all day when it warms up. The fences of many of the houses in the west wrap around to the front corners of the houses and so people going down the street would stir it up. There’s no way to keep it confined in the back of the house only.

[bteezxyewriter12]

Save Me/ 16

Pairing- Yoongi x Named Reader

Word count- 2.8k

Includes- Anxiety, mentions of physical therapy, rude people, oral, pussy eating, cum swallowing, Yoongi is the best, fluff, good news

Tag List- @mingtina @jaxxmine

@delightfulmoonbanana

@tannie13 @yeosayang @itstyraaxx

@borntowalkaway

DO NOT READ IF ANY OF THIS MAKES YOU UNCOMFORTABLE!!!!

Series Masterlist

Yoongi POV

It's hard seeing her like this

She's scared all the time

I don't blame her but it breaks my heart

Any little noise makes her jump

If we're watching something and a loud noise or explosion comes on she jumps in my arms

And when I hold her close to me after, to comfort her, I feel her heart beating rapidly

Sometimes I find her just sitting and staring into space and when I call her or touch her she flinches and looks around with fear in her eyes

She has nightmares every night and she screams in her sleep

When I wake her up, she's hysterical and so scared

It's the same dream every night

Han-jae is killing her but instead of him calling me, I go to the apartment to stop him and he kills me in front of her and leaves her to die, looking at my body

The first time she told me about it, I got chills and I'm so upset that she dreams that every night

And add that her pain increases at night and the dream, she can't sleep after that

I stay up with her but she doesn't want me to

I know she's scared but she wants me to sleep

But there's no way I can sleep without her and knowing she's afraid

So we'll watch tv or a movie

During the day, we take naps and she doesn't dream during them

I think it's because she's so exhausted that she just shuts down

I try to work but I worry about her all the time

I told the guys that I'd start working on lyrics and music for our new album while they're on tour

I'm able to work some but a lot of the time I can't concentrate because I just want to be near her

I honestly don't think she's the only one who's traumatized

Of course she has it worse and I can't imagine how she feels

But I'm scared too

I don't want to let her out of my sight

I want to know where she is at all times

I want her near me all the time so I can watch her and make sure nothing happens to her

The two times I took my eyes off her she almost died

I know she needs to rest a lot so when I'm working she rests

She's either in the living room, her chair in her library or bedroom watching something or reading

But I find myself wanting to finish quickly so I can be with her

I'm just so terrified that something is going to happen

I know logically, the chances of anything happening are very slim

No one knows where we live

But he found her before and he can again

---------------------------

I'm driving her to her physical therapy

She has to go three times a week

I know she hates going outside

I see the terror in her eyes every time the apartment door closes

She grips my hand so hard and I see her eyes darting around, constantly checking

Honestly I do the same

She hates being around people because they stare at her

I know she's self conscious about her scars on her face

It's going to take awhile before most of them completely heal and fade.

But the one that goes down her right side of her face, by her eye, won't fade

It's the worst scar and the doctor said that it'll always be there because of how deep it was

And I know she hates it

She never looks up when we're out like when we went shopping for food earlier today

She keeps her gaze down and holds my arm tightly

I hear people whispering about her and her face wondering what happened

If I can hear it I know she can

I usually hide my face when I go out with hats and a mask so people don't recognize me

Her face hasn't been exposed much in the media so people don't recognize her

They just see a girl with scars

But that doesn't stop them from talking about her when she's right there

I want to yell at them but I know I can't

So I just hold her close to me, try to shield her as much as possible and finish whatever we have to do as quickly as possible, then go home

--------------------------

She's in a lot of pain after physical therapy

More than usual

I stay next to her while she's doing the therapy, so I can be there if she needs me

I'd have someone come to the apartment to give her the therapy but she needs to use the machines they have here, so I bring her here every time

And I stay

There's no way I'm leaving her alone anywhere

I also go with her to the hospital for the appointments for the baby

We went last week for the first time since she came out of the hospital

Dr. Lim checked her and said the baby is doing good

Then she did a sonogram

We were looking at the monitor when Dr. Lim said, "There! There he is" and she pointed to the screen

I couldn't describe the feeling of seeing my son on the monitor

I felt so happy and excited and I started to cry

I was holding her hand and when I looked at her, I watched her stare in awe at the screen, tears running down her face too

I squeezed her hand and she looked at me, whispering, "It's our baby Yoongi. Our boy"

I nodded, smiled at her and gave her a kiss on her cheek

Dr. Lim printed out the sonogram pictures and then we went home to call the guys and show them

---------------------------

I'm thinking about that when I hear her yelp

I immediately get snapped out of my thoughts and go on high alert

"What's wrong?", I ask, feeling slightly panicked

She looks over at me, "Nothing Yoongi, it just hurts"

I relax a bit

I hate that she's in pain

Fifteen minutes later the physical therapist is done

The therapist reminds her to do the exercises he told her to at home

She does them because I make her and I help her with them

When we get back home, she immediately goes to the bedroom to lay down and I go with her

In a week she'll be six months pregnant and her belly is starting to show more.

I know her back is going to start hurting soon as she gets bigger

She's laying on her side while I stroke her hair and look down at her

Her eyes are shut tight and she tries not to make sounds of pain

So I do what I usually do after her physical therapy

I move my hands to her shoulder and start to massage it

I want her to feel better and this seems to help her

I busted my shoulder when I was a trainee and even now it flares up when I have to dance non stop

She always rubs and massages my shoulder for me and makes it feel better

I want to do the same for her

I start with her right shoulder and down her arm

She groans in pain

"You want me to stop jagi?", I ask

"No Yoongi. It hurts but its a good hurt"

"Ok baby"

After awhile, I ask her to lay on her back so I can get to her other shoulder and collarbone

After that I massage her thigh where the bullet went in her leg

"Thanks naekkeo", she says but I'm not done

I know her body is still tense and still hurts

I want her to relax and I want to make her feel good

So I pull down her pants and panties, taking them off

"Yoongi, what are you doing?", she asks

"I want to make you feel good"

"You don't have to.."

"I want too."

"But you won't let me do anything to you"

"That doesn't matter to me jagi, you know that"

Ever since she came out of the hospital we haven't had sex

I'm so scared of hurting her

Her injuries are so much more extensive than last time and I'm not taking any chances

She asks me but this time I won't do it

I explain to her why and she understands but she still gets annoyed

Even though we don't have sex I still want to make her feel good so I go down on her a lot

I love doing it and I can do it everyday but she won't let me

She wants to do it to me too but I won't let her because her jaw and arms still hurts when she moves it and I'm not letting her hurt herself more just for a blow job or a hand job

No way

It's different with her

Sex is amazing with her but it's not the center of our relationship and I don't care that I don't get anything

I don't need to have sex with her all the time

And especially not now while her body is healing

But I love making her feel good

It's my favorite thing to do

"Just let me baby, please?", I ask

She's silent for a few seconds, then says, "Ok Yoongi"

I gently pull her to the edge of the bed and kneel on the floor

I open her legs and put them on my shoulders

I run my tongue up her and she moans lowly

I keep moving my tongue all over her gently but quickly, her pussy drenching my face in her juice

Fuck, love this

"Yoongi", she calls my name softly

She reaches for me and I take her hand

She laces her fingers with mine

I move my tongue to her clit and massage her there

That's her favorite spot for me to lick and make her cum

"Yoongi, naekkeo", she whines

"Yeah baby. You taste amazing jagi", I respond

She moans again, her legs shaking around my head

"It's ok jagi. You can cum. I want you to."

I keep licking her clit and she softly calls my name when she cums

"Yoongi, baby, Yoongi"

I move my tongue down and slide inside her, tasting all of her

Fuck, I love how she tastes

"Again ok baby?", I ask

"But-"

"Please"

I look up at her and she nods

Running my tongue up and down her, I listen to her soft moans

I love hearing her

Her hand slides in my hair, running her fingers in it while I keep swirling my tongue on her pretty pussy

Fucking hell, I love her hands in my hair

It feels so good

Taking her clit in my mouth, I suck gently on her

"Yoongi, oh god, Yoongi", she moans, pleasure was over her face

Sucking a little harder and faster, she moans my name over and over, her body shaking in pleasure

"Yoongi", she cries, coming in my mouth

I greedily lick and swallow her sweet cream, making sure I get all of it

So fucking good

When she finishes, I get up and lay next to her

"Feel better baby?"

She nods

"You want to take a nap jagi? Are you tired?"

"Yeah Yoongi. Are you going to work?"

"No jagi. I want to stay with you"

She smiles, "Ok Yoongi. I want you to stay too."

I help her move back fully on the bed

I put my arm around her and she settles into my side, her head on my shoulder

I turn my body toward her more and start playing with her hair

She closes her eyes and I watch her as she falls asleep

---------------------------

My phone rings, startling me

I'm in the middle of attempting to write lyrics and the shrill ring in the silence is so loud

Glancing at my phone, I see a number I don't know but I pick it up anyway

And I hear the best news I've heard since I found out Joanne was going to make it and we're having a baby

I have to tell her now

She's going to be so relieved

---------------------------

She wasn't in the bedroom or her library so I guess she's in the living room

I hear talking and I freeze before going in

Is someone here?

"Your daddy is the best dad in the world. He loves you so much already."

It takes me a second to realize she's talking to the baby

That's the most adorable thing I ever heard

I smile as I listen

I don't want to interrupt her or make her feel embarrassed, so I stay silent

"You dad is the best man in the world and I love him so much. He's a bad ass rapper in a group called BTS, with your six uncles. Or whatever they want to be called."

I stifle a chuckle when I hear her talking about the guys

"You know, your dad likes to pretend he's such a tough guy but he's so sweet, cuddly and fluffy. His fans call him little meow meow like a cat. He claims he can't sing and only rap but he's lying. I hear him sing to me when he thinks I'm sleeping. I wish he would just do it when I'm awake. He doesn't think so, but he has a beautiful voice. And I know he'll sing to you when you cry"

Jesus, she hears me sing to her?

She's so sneaky, I really thought she was sleeping

"You're going to have an awesome dad to make up for your fucked up mom."

That snaps me to attention

What?

Why is she talking about herself like that?

"I'm sorry baby. I know it must suck to be in there with me. I know I'm always tense and nervous and I try to relax for you but it doesn't work. You probably want out so bad. I get it."

She sighs, sounding so sad

"I never used to be like this. I used to be tough like your dad, not scared of everything. I wish I could be like that again but I don't think I can. I know I suck and I'm fucked up, so I'm sorry. But at least you'll have a great dad."

I'm honestly so shocked she thinks of herself that way

It makes me angry and sad at the same time because I don't see her like that

She's the complete opposite big fucked up

She's the strongest person I know

I walk into the room, towards her

Her back is to me and she's on the couch rubbing her belly

"Jo?", I say as I touch her shoulder

She jumps a mile, standing up and yelling, "No. Don't, please don't hurt him", with fear in her eyes

She looks around wildly and my heart breaks

Tears form in my eyes as I watch her

Everything terrifies her and I wish I could do something take it away

"Jagi, it's me. It's just me", I call

"Yoongi, oh god Yoongi", she cries, relief in her voice, "I'm sorry Yoongi. I didn't mean to jump. I didn't know you were there."

I walk to her and hold her close to me

"No Jo, I'm sorry. I should of let you know I was here."

"It's ok Yoongi. I'm ok"

We go and sit on the couch

"I heard you talking", I say

"Oh yeah. I was telling the baby about you. Sometimes I talk to him or read to him", she blushes, "Although I probably shouldn't be reading him some of the books I read"

"I think that's adorable that you do that", j say sincerely

"You can do it too", she offers, "So he'll know your voice"

I nod, "Ok I will. But Jo, why did you say all those things about yourself?"

"Oh that", she looks away, "Uh because it's true"

"No it's not!", I exclaim

"C'mon Yoongi, yes it is"

"No Joanne it's not. You are not fucked up ok? With what happened to you, you have a right to be nervous. It doesn't mean anything is wrong with you."

"I guess", she says, not sounding sure

"You're going to be a great mom. I have no doubt about that"

She looks up and smiles, "Thanks Yoongi"

"You don't have to thank me. It's the truth"

She moves closer and hugs me tightly

As I hold her I tell what I came inside to tell her

"Jo, I just got a phone call from Maggie and Glenn."

She pulls away and looks a bit afraid

"Ok", she says slowly

"They got him Jo."

"What?", she breathes

"They got him. They found him in one of his friend's houses and they arrested him. They're not letting him out"

I watch her as the news I gave her sinks it

"It's...It's over. He can't get me or you", she whispers

"No baby. Not anymore"

She looks at me and smiles such a happy smile that I haven't seen in awhile

"We're safe"

I nod, "We are baby"

She launches herself in my arms and I hold her tightly, so relieved that it's over

[adorerdraco]

Healing Heart ✧ Draco x Reader Mini-Series PART 1

Summary: Draco meets and accidentally falls in love with reader during his sixth year (HBP). Part 1 of a upcoming series.

Warnings: angst, some fluff, mentions of blood, crying, panic attacks

Words: 6.4K words (I made this so longgg)

A/N: my first Draco writing !!! i am sorry ahead of time if there are any misspellings, typing with long acrylics is hard omg. ALSO PLEASE FEEL FREE TO SEND ME REQUESTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! also i do not own this gif.

It was almost satirical how Draco managed to fall in love with someone at what might be, is, the lowest point in his life. It was his sixth year at Hogwarts, the dark mark burned into his left forearm, the restless mending of the vanishing cabinet, the impossible task of killing his Headmaster, the Dark Lord looming over him and his family with promises of torture and death if he didn’t follow through with the orders he was given.

Draco was an empty shell of what he used to be. The playful and mean remarks that would leave his mouth to anyone that stood in his path were gone. The devious twinkle in his eye and the smug smirk that used to grace his face almost 24/7 was reduced to a permanent scowl and red-rimmed eyes. He looked as if he had aged a rough 10 years since the last year he was at school. Everyone noticed it.

Everyone noticed the skipped meals, the lack of sleep, the empty look in his eyes, the falling behind in class. But no one dared say a thing to him. It almost seems as though people were afraid of him now more than ever. The sneer on his face and the reckless and impulsive attitude he held now was like a repellent for anyone that tried to come near. He was completely alone, whether he liked it or not and he decided to keep it that way.

That all changed a few months into the year, however, when you were rushing to DADA, your long house colored scarf getting tangled underneath your feet causing you to trip and lurch forward, dropping all your books, your wand, and crashing into, you guessed it, Draco Malfoy himself. There was a loud cracking sound as you both tumbled onto the ground, a yelp slipping past Draco’s lips as he held his hand in pain.

"Oh, Merlin,” you gasped, Draco shooting you the dirtiest glare. “Draco, I’m so sorry.”

Before he could open his mouth to tell you off and incessantly insult you into oblivion, you reached forward and took his wounded hand in yours, the softness of your hands and tender touch throwing him off guard. He watched you as you examined the damage on one of his fingers.

“It’s just a sprain,” you finalized after inspecting it for a couple seconds. Draco recoiled his hand from yours as if he had touched a hot surface. He moved to get up and you huffed out a “wait, hold on,” as you scrambled around the ground for your wand. When you felt the wood underneath your fingertips, you clutched it and jumped to your feet, gently grabbing onto the sleeve of Draco’s robe who was already trying to retreat.

“Get away,” he snarled, snatching his arm out of your grasp.

“Let me help,” you pleaded softly, “it’ll be quick, I promise.”

Draco looked down at you with annoyance. He was about to leave again until he felt that same tender touch from just a few moments ago. The feeling stunning him again as he looked down at his hand that was now lying palm up in yours.

“Episkey,” you drawled the wand over his injured finger, the both of you watching the swollen and purple bruise beginning to form suddenly fade away.

Draco gave you one last scowl before he snatched his hand out of yours and turned around to leave the corridor, leaving you standing there dumbfounded as he quickly walked away, his cloak floating behind him like the professor, who’s class you now realized you were very late for.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 

That night, Draco lied awake staring at his ceiling he had charmed to resemble a starry night sky. His mind wandered off to think about spells he could try to help fix the vanishing cabinet and different ways he could kill Dumbledore without actually having to face him. He thought of his parents, mostly his mom, and how much he wishes he could save her and himself from this life. He thought of this school and how much he missed being an unknowing child who just did his schoolwork, played quidditch and bully the Golden Trio. He missed the two-dimensional life he used to live. Even if he used to be a complete ignorant and snobby arse, he was a happy one at that. Only now he knows that life isn’t what mummy or daddy say it is, in fact, it is so much worse.

He found his mind wandering to his uneventful day of dragging himself through his classes and failed attempts on the cabinet in the room of requirement. He then all of a sudden remembered the klutzy y/h/c girl that tripped into him and sprained his finger. He remembered how soft her touch was and how gentle she was in fixing said finger. That feeling was hard to forget. He hasn’t felt such tenderness since he doesn’t know how long. He recalled his mother’s hug before he boarded the train to Hogwarts, but that was ages ago.

In his ever growing turmoil, there wasn’t an ounce of warmth in Draco’s life since he’s returned to school. The coldness he was feeling on the inside was just as apparent as it was in his surroundings. He catches himself wishing he could feel that touch again, something about you radiated warmth, and just as quick as that thought appeared, he pushed it away. 

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

The next day, as Draco was leaving the room of requirement and into the empty corridor, he felt the familiar ache in his chest that began to flow through his body. He had made little to no progress today on the cabinet. He felt a panic attack on the horizon, his breathing becoming staggered and tears pricking his eyes. He hated it. He hated feeling so weak.

He began rushing towards Moaning Myrtle’s bathroom, his tears blurring his vision and just like the day before, he crashed right into someone. Instinctively, he held the other person in place by their biceps so neither of them would fall. But that still didn’t stop how upon impact, the other person’s head had collided with his bottom lip. He squeezed his eyes in pain as he felt the skin break and blood quickly escaping it. When he pulled back, he focused on the figure in front of him and realized it was you. The same klutzy girl he bumped into yesterday. 

“Oh no, not again,” you frown, placing your hand on the part of your head that met Draco’s lip.

“You ought to watch where you’re going, you twit,” he snarls, stepping away from you in anger.

“It was an accident,” you responded just as harshly. You take a deep breath and throw the attitude aside. He was bleeding for Merlin’s sake and you felt bad that it was because of you. “I’m sorry, please let me heal you again,” you offer, taking a step towards him, closing up the space he had made.

“I think you’ve done enough,” he backs up, eyeing you down.

“Draco, please, just let me heal your lip and i’ll be out of your way,” you ask again, your soft and guilt ridden e/c eyes peering up at him through your lashes. Draco’s heart flutters, his anger subsiding for a second and he nods.

You step towards him once more and unexpectedly place a warm hand on his face while the other brings your wand up to his lip where it hovers. It was a non-verbal spell you used this time and he felt the pulsating pain in his lip subside to nothing. 

Even though he was healed, you both stayed in that position, your hand still on his cheek and his eyes gazing into yours. He didn’t realize it at that moment, but the pain in chest had also subsided, just a little. The tears had gone. His breathing was drastically slower.

“What’s your name?” the question tumbled from his lips before he could stop it. You gave him a small smile, your hand falling from his face and he frowns when he feels the cold on his skin from the loss of contact.

“It’s Y/N, Y/N Y/L/N” you answer. “We have potions together this year, actually.”

Draco thought back to that class, now that Slughorn was teaching it he hardly paid attention, especially since he felt he was skilled in it anyways so he would let himself slip into his thoughts and let the whole period pass by in a haze. He feels as though he might have heard your name here and there, but he wasn’t so sure.

“Hm, funny, I’ve never noticed you,” he says, not intending it to sound rude but it did. He watches your face fall and he feels a slight guilt poke at him.

“Well, like I said, I’ll be out of your way now,” you mumble to him, brushing past him softly as you continued your path out of the corridor and out of his sight.

He didn’t know why, but he felt a little sad to see you go. He shook his head, shaking the thought from his mind and instead of the bathroom, he decided to go to his room, no longer feeling like he did before your little encounter.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

As days went on, Draco ended up paying more attention in Slughorn’s class. Not to the chubby old professor, but to you, who he shared subtle glances with throughout classes and half-hearted smiles.

You wanted nothing more than to continue talking to him. To be in his presence. He was like a magnet to you, while everyone else thought the opposite of him. Even Pansy, who usually was up his ass, distanced herself from the ghost of the boy she once obsessed over. You couldn’t lie, the small crush you harbored on Draco had only grown more and more each day. It started about three years ago, during your third year when you had seen him in the hospital wing after his run-in with Buckbeak.

You remember the sheer shock you felt when you had seen him for the first time that year. The slicked back hair was gone, he had grown several inches taller, maybe even a foot taller now that you thought about it. His voice had deepened into that haughty tone you somehow couldn’t get enough of. But just like you, many other girls noticed these changes too and began pursuing him. Something you’d never had the guts to do.

Until now.

The feelings you had been suppressing for the past 3 years had come back in overflow the second you bumped into him the other day. Even worse this time since you’ve actually had a conversation with him now and the fact that he won’t stop looking at you.

Slughorn pulled you out of your thoughts when he announced to everyone to partner up to brew the potion he had been lecturing us on all week. Draught of Peace.

“This is your chance,” your friend besides you sings to you as you looked longingly in Draco’s direction who hasn’t moved from his spot.

“No, he usually works by himself, I don’t want to bother him anymore than I have,” you sigh, slumping down in your seat.

“Y/N, you’ve been in love with him since third year,” she huffs, “besides, maybe he only works alone because no one can stand being near him.”

“Shhh, someone might hear you,” you hiss, slumping even lower into your seat. “I am not in love with him, it’s just a stupid crush,” you whisper angrily to her while she only rolls her eyes.

“Okay, well, have fun working alone,” she smirks, getting up from her seat and scurrying across the room to join another classmate. You gape at her in distress, she returns the same gesture, mocking you. She then points over to Draco and smiles, giving you an encouraging thumbs up.

You rest your head in your hand for a second, feeling the hot blush that had made its way onto your face and focused your gaze onto the table in front of you. You mentally hexed your friend, who thought it’d be a good idea if she were ditch you so you would be forced to look for another partner. Jokes on her, you’re not getting up from this seat.

‘I can’t go up to him,” you thought, ‘he probably thinks I’m some annoying creep who won’t leave him alone. I’ll just work by myself.”

Draco looks over at you, noticing the empty space beside you and the frown on your face as you pushed your Potions book to the side and sat up to get your cauldron ready. You were alone, and so was he. He fought himself on whether or not he should join you. It was a bold move, especially for him. He was used to working alone, but the longer he looked at you, the more he found himself missing the sound of your honey sweet voice and soft eyes. Before he had any more time to argue with himself about it, he gathered up all his things and walked over to the empty spot next to you.

“Do you want help?” Draco asked awkwardly, immediately regretting his decision to move. Your eyes shot up from the potion book, not expecting to see the blond next to you with a faint blush on his cheeks.

“Um, yes, actually, that’d be nice,” you mutter out to him, moving some stuff around on the table so that he would have space for his. You could hardly contain the deep red blush that was already on your face from intensifying at his presence. You swallowed thickly as the realization set in that your longtime crush was right beside you and even offering a helping hand. Which in Draco’s case was extremely rare, almost unheard of. Matter of fact, this is something the Slytherin Prince has never done.

He sets his bag down and his supplies and takes a seat, rolling up his sleeves so that he could get started on crushing the porcupine quills into the moonstone powder. The amount of times he has made this potion by now for himself was sad, but good in this case since he would be able to impress you with his skill.

He worked diligently and quietly and you watched as his long slender fingers worked everything with attention and precision. You were looking up at him every now and then which you now realized was a terrible idea considering you were in the middle of cutting ginger root and you weren’t exactly coordinated to begin with. You felt the sharp blade slide across your finger and a small gasp left your mouth when the pain instantly began once the first drop of blood fell.

Draco looked at you in confusion, his eyes widening slightly when he saw the blood dripping from your hand and your face contorted in pain. You ignored the looks Draco was giving you, afraid that he might be looking at you with contempt for being sloppy.

“Y/L/N, perhaps you should go to Madam Pomfrey,” Draco suggests, now seeing that the cut was very deep as you inspected it. In fact, it was so deep he swore he could’ve seen bone.

“No, it’s fine, I can heal it,” you ignored the sharp pain and placed your hand on the table and pointed your wand at the cut with your uninjured hand. You focused on the cut and closed your eyes, letting your wand do its magic with your unspoken spell. When you opened your eyes, the cut was gone, just a small scar in its place and drying blood around it. “You see,” you smile, turning towards Draco and waving your finger, “brand new.”

“You don’t want dittany for the scarring?” Draco asked with an eyebrow raised.

“No, I don’t mind them and this one is small anyways. They’re like memories to me. Some come from good experiences, some bad. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m a little clumsy,” you explain, a small smile on your lips.

“Trust me, I’ve noticed,” he sighs, “so you’ve managed to become your own healer because of that?”

“Exactly that,” you hummed. “That’s actually what I’m studying to be. I plan on being at St. Mungo’s once we graduate. I’ve been studying for it my whole life.”

Draco was silent for a moment. He watched as you carefully threw ingredients into the cauldron and stirred them with caution. He noticed that despite your clumsiness, you handled everything you touched with a care and gentleness. It was a calming sight to him for some reason and he faintly smiled.

“I think you’d be a great healer,” he complimented quietly. You looked at him with one of the brightest smiles he’s ever seen and his heart swells at the thought of it being because of him. He feels a smile mirroring yours that tries to break through, but he fights it.

“You know, you’re a lot nicer than you let on,” you say quietly, waiting for his reaction from the corner of his eye. Draco wants to give you a snarky remark, just to uphold his cold reputation he’s given himself since his first day back at Hogwarts, but he doesn’t.

Instead of saying anything, he just shrugged and gave you a small smile, turning his attention back to the task at hand. You do the same, choosing to enjoy the comfortable silence that had settled.

When Slughorn came by to check when you finished, he eyed you and Draco and smiled.

"Ahh, Mr. Malfoy, I’m glad you’ve finally decided to partner up with someone,” he gleamed. “Miss Y/L/N here is an excellent potions student such as yourself.”

“Yes, she is,” Draco responded, keeping his eyes trained on the professor. He didn’t want to look at you, feeling embarrassed that he has now complimented you twice in the last 20 minutes. You smiled to yourself, something you’ve been doing a lot of since the slytherin boy sat next to you.

“Well, I suppose you’ll be pleased to know the two of you have brewed an outstanding potion,” Slughorn grins, “both of you will receive perfect marks on this. You can be excused from today’s class now.”

“Thank you, Professor,” you begin gathering your things and turn towards Draco. “I’ll see you next class? Or maybe somewhere around the castle when I accidentally bump into you.”

Draco chuckles and shakes his head, “perhaps. I’ll see you soon, Y/L/N.”

With that, he strides out of the class, you staring at the back of his platinum blond head with a stupid smile on your face.

“You’re welcome,” your friend suddenly appeared next to you, playfully slapping your arm. “I don’t remember the last time I’ve seen Draco look so... calm.”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Weeks had gone by, and several Potions classes. The seat beside you now belonged to Draco and the two of you had in a sense, become friends. Or acquaintances. You couldn’t quite say. 

He was still brooding and mostly kept to himself, but he would converse with you here and there about things, almost always school. The two of you continuously getting outstanding marks on everything you produced much to Slughorn’s delight.

Sometimes he would come to class looking disheveled or angry and those were the days where no matter how much you tried to talk to him to at least maybe get his mind off things, he would ignore you. Wouldn’t even look at you. You couldn’t deny how it had hurt your feelings, but you would brush off the hurt and remind yourself that it wasn’t personal. He was obviously going through something, you didn’t know what, but you had to respect that sometimes he just didn’t want to talk. That was hard. Especially because you just wanted to hear his voice or see him give you that rare smile when you would say something he found amusing or you would accidentally drop something off the table with your elbows or knocked over with your hands. 

You were rounding a corridor when you saw the flash of blond zoom past you. He didn’t see you, but you saw the pointed look in his eyes and the tears that were pooling in the stormy gray eyes that you adored. You mentally fought yourself on whether or not you should follow him, he looked so upset and all you wanted to do was give him a peace of mind. So you followed him, all through two corridors until he disappeared into Moaning Myrtle’s bathroom.

Your heart broke at the sobs that filled the bathroom. They were full of pain and despair. The sound of his rapid breathing mixed in with his cries was more than enough to let you know that he was having a panic attack. You pushed open the door slightly to see him hunched over a sink, his robe discarded on the ground along with his vest and tie leaving him in only a white long sleeved dress shirt. 

You wanted to run in and help, but stayed back, realizing that this was something that was extremely personal. You knew he would be livid if you or anyone saw him like this, so broken and emotional. You were about to leave, all of a sudden feeling very ashamed for even following him in here. You watched as he looked up into the mirror, an anger flashing in his eyes as he stared at the reflection looking back at him. Not yours, but his. All he could see was a monster staring back at him. A failure. A weak man. He was disgusted and angry with what he saw and before he knew what he was doing, he had pulled his fist back and you watched it collide with the middle of the mirror where he had been. The glass shattered upon impact, the shards now flying in all different directions and embedding into his knuckles. He fell to the ground on his knees, in pain and clutching his fist as his cries only got louder. 

That was when you threw open the door, rushing in to help him, not caring that you were going to have to put up a fight in order to even get near him. Draco’s eyes shot up to meet yours, and just like you thought, he was beyond pissed to see you. 

Draco has never felt such humiliation in his life. The beautiful and kind y/h girl he had acquainted himself with, was now looking at him with pity. He grabbed his wand from his pocket, pointing it at you with such quickness that you faltered in your steps.

“Get. Out!” He yelled, his wand shaking violently in his uninjured hand. He would never hex you, but he figured you would fall for his bluff and leave. But you didn’t. You only sat yourself down a few feet away from him and felt your own tears begin to fall. “Y/L/N, I swear to Merlin, if you don’t leave, I’ll-”

“You’ll what?” you challenged. “I just want to help.”

“I don’t need your help,” he sneered, his wand still pointed at you.

“You’re bleeding, a lot, Draco,” you point to his bloodied hand that curled to his chest. “You know I can save you a trip to the hospital wing and Madam Pomfrey’s interrogation.”

After a few moments of silence and a wand still pointed at you, you slowly scoot towards him. Your hand encloses around the one holding his wand and you lower it for him while he watches you. He was still crying and breathing heavily. His panic attack somehow getting worse now and no longer having the energy to fight you. You finally reach him, now knee to knee with him and you place a hand on his shoulder.

“Draco, just breath with me,” you say calmly. “In,” you took a long exaggerated inhale, and after a few seconds, “out,” and let out an equally exaggerated exhale. You did that with him for a while, his pained gray eyes focused on yours the whole time, never breaking eye contact. Once he was calmed down enough and was just left with the post crying hiccoughs, you took his injured hand in yours. There was shards and particles of glass stuck in his reddened and bloody skin.

You reached into your robe pocket and pulled out a set of tweezers you kept with you. You often found yourself getting splinters or tiny rocks stuck in your skin when your hands hit the pavement when you’d fall you try and catch yourself.

“This might hurt,” you warn, starting to remove one of the biggest pieces. He sharply inhales as you try your best to do take it out carefully.

It was quiet the rest of the process, just sniffles and gasps from Draco when you had removed a piece that especially hurt. When you were done, you waved your wand over the gashes and watched as they faded into faint pink scars. You got up, pulling him with you and took him to the sink where you rinsed off the blood from both your hands and his. 

He couldn’t say anything. He didn’t know what. He just stared at you, dumbfounded and confused. You turned your body to face his and he did the same, eyeing you carefully and still very cautious to any move you made.

“I can leave now, if you’d like me to,” you offer quietly. He stayed silent, wondering if he should just send you off. But he didn’t want to. You had already seen him at his worst, and he was terribly alone, so he just shook his head ‘no.’ You looked up at him and decided to risk it all. “Can I give you a hug?”

Draco was stunned at the question, his heart pounding against his chest. “I suppose,” he managed to let out in a strained voice.

You slowly stepped closer to him and slid your arms up his biceps until your hands met behind his neck. You stood on your tippy toes and pulled him into you, his chin now resting on your shoulder as your hand smoothed the back of his head. You felt him stiff under your touch and as he got comfortable in your embrace, his arms raised from his sides and snaked around your waist, pushing you flush against him. You stayed like that for what felt like forever, and he held you tightly, not wanting to let go.

This was the first time in a long time that he had felt any type of relief. It had been such a constant uphill battle for him, day after day. He took a deep inhale accidentally, but the smell of your perfume and shampoo filling his nose and his mind made him feel at ease. The warmth of your body from underneath his fingertips brought him peace and succor.

“Thank you,” he whispered into your hair so quietly that if you weren’t so focused on him, you would’ve missed it.

“Anytime.”

That was the day Draco Malfoy became your friend.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Potions class was no longer the only place you would see Draco. Now that the two of you were comfortable with one another and he trusted you more than anyone else, he found himself hanging out with you every day during his free time when he would be done messing with the cabinet.

It would be taking walks around the castle. Sneaking out at night and meeting behind statues to talk. Sitting together at a bench in the courtyard. Skipping stones along the Black Lake. It’s been months of this. Months of friendship he so desperately needed. You had helped him through several more panic attacks and meltdowns, each time coming closer together. He never told you about what caused them. The worst ones were when he found he had almost killed Katie Bell and Ron Weasley, and as much as you begged him to tell you, he kept his mouth shut. 

He had spent so much time with you that it was affecting him. But for the better. He found himself eating again at the Slytherin table and his friends were more than excited to have him back. He still wasn’t too buddy-buddy with everyone as he once was, but he joined conversations and shared a couple jokes. He was even sleeping a little more. He was still beyond stressed, but it wasn’t as gut-wrenching. He enjoyed Potions again and even started paying a little more attention in his other classes. His new found energy even helped him greatly progress in mending the vanishing cabinet, finally making a breakthrough in fixing it.

He would lie awake at night sometimes and thank Merlin you crashed into his life, literally. You were like an angel to him, healing his heart with every word and smile and touch you sent his way. It was easy with you. He tried his best to keep his emotions at bay, reminding himself that when he would have to follow through with his task, he would lose you and that thought pained him to no end. But he was selfish, and he adored you with every fiber of his being so he couldn’t leave you alone. And especially not when he needed you most.

Today, you lied in the grass, shoulder to shoulder and staring up at the sky and watching the clouds. You were a little ways from the castle, away from all your other classmates and teachers and it was nice. Finally being able to enjoy time with the Slytherin Prince without people gawking at the two of you.

“My mother used to do this with me when I was a small,” Draco trailed off, his eyes following a particular funny shaped cloud. “She would take me out to the garden behind the Manor, usually when father was doing some work at the ministry. But we would sit against this tall oak tree and I’d be on her lap and she’d have her arms wrapped around me and she would point out the funniest shaped clouds and try to pinpoint what they resemble. Sometimes she’d even joke around and say the weirdest shaped cloud looked like father.”

You giggled at that last part, your heart swelling at the story. He rarely talked about his family, but when he did, it would always be of his mother and a happy memory he had with her, never his father.

“Draco, can I ask you something?” you turn onto your side, your elbow holding you up as you gazed down at him.

“What do you wanna know, darling?” you blushed at the nickname but brushed it aside, knowing he only meant it in a friendly way.

“Forgive me if it’s rude, you don’t have to answer,” you begin, “but do you miss your father? I know it’s none of my business and I’m so sorry the Daily Prophet put your family business on blast like that. I can’t imagine how that must have felt.”

Draco frowned and followed you in turning onto his side and propping himself up with his elbow to face you. You remembered the image of Draco and his mother on the newspaper, bright lights flashing across their faces as all the press tried to get picture of them after the sentencing of Lucius Malfoy to Azkaban. You remembered seeing Draco look so sad, yet strong beside his mother as he looked from her and then into the camera with disdain. 

“Sometimes, I do,” he answers, eyebrows furrowed as he thought of his father. “My whole life, he’s expected nothing short of perfection from me. There were no room for mistakes, and if I made any, I would be punished for them. I remember coming to Hogwarts was like an escape, a place where I could finally sort of relax and be a child. I don’t miss his scolding or his coldness. But I miss having a father, I miss going home on that first day of summer and seeing both my parents even if he was going to reprimand me for something later on in the day. He’s been with me my whole life, and now he’s gone, stuck in a cell in Azkaban. He’s never going to be the same. Home is never going to be the same.”

You felt tears prick your eyes as you listened to the boy beside you, a distant look in his eyes as he turned back over on his back to look at the sky in the middle of his explanation. You sat up and he did the same, looking at you with a frown when he noticed you were about to cry. You took your hand in his and held it tightly.

“I’m sorry, Draco,” you mumble. “You don’t deserve any of the bad things you’ve been through.”

“I do,” he shrugs. “I’ve been a real git since I’ve been at Hogwarts, you know.”

“You’re different now,” you say. “Sure, you still haven’t lost a little bit of the Malfoy snobbishness and you’re still a bit of a git, but you’re kinder and more gentle. You’re a lot more empathetic and perceptive. I mean, I’ve never spoken to you prior to this year, but your reputation follows and the Draco in front of me doesn’t seem anything like the Draco you were.”

“How you’ve managed to insult me while complimenting me is something I’ve never seen anyone be able to do successfully is astonishing,” he laughs, a smile growing on his face as you laughed with him.

“I’m serious, Dray,” you giggle, “I think you’re a good person.”

“I’m not good,” he thinks to himself. The compliment leaving your lips made him feel foul. He didn’t deserve to have such a kind soul complimenting him to be something he’d never amount to. He frowned and harshly stood up, and you quickly followed. Suddenly afraid that you might have overstepped your boundaries.

“Where are you going?” You ask, fear trembling in your voice. He begins to hurriedly walk off and you chase after him, stopping in front of him so you could place your hands on his chest to stop him. 

“Y/N, let me go,” he pleads. “I’m not who you think I am.”

“I think I’ve been around you long enough to know who you are.”

“Not long enough.”

You stare up at him, but he refuses to look at you. His body feels rigid under your touch and it pains you to see him beginning to shut down again.

“I know something has been bothering you this year, and I know it’s not just because of what happened with your father,” you start. “I don’t know what is hurting you so deeply enough to make you hate yourself, but I’m here to tell you that whatever that thing is, it doesn’t define you.”

Draco swallows thickly, the tears already falling down his cheeks. “It does, it does.”

“No, it doesn’t,” you cry with him. “Even if you don’t see your goodness, I do.”

Both you and Draco are crying, the tree you were now standing under was swaying violently in the wind, as if it was picking up on your guys’ emotions. You placed a hand on his cheek, and he leaned down, pressing his forehead against yours.

“I’m not good,” he whispers to you, “and once you see that, you’re going to hate me.”

“I could never hate you, Draco Malfoy,” you promise, a complete sincerity in your voice that it makes his heart jump.

Draco lifts his head up and sniffles, he watched you do the same, peering up at him through your wet lashes. He brought his thumb up to smooth the crease in between your eyebrows, letting it fall down to your cheeks where he wiped away the stray tears that had stilled. His hand then landed on your mouth that was pulled down in a grimace that matched his own. His thumb grazed over your lips, the softness of them nearly driving him mad. He wanted nothing more than to feel them against his own, but he couldn’t bring himself to kiss you. He didn’t want to drag you into the darkness of his life more than he already has.

“Kiss me,” you said to him, so softly but it rang loud in his ears. You had seen the way he looked at you and how he seemed so focused on your lips. You knew what he was thinking because it was exactly what you were thinking. You wanted this just as badly as he did. “Kiss me.”

Every argument he had in his head vanished and suddenly he closed the small space between the two of you and gently placed his lips onto yours. It was a fluid movement, like two puzzle pieces fitting together.

Your hands found their way in his hair, holding him closer to you and he did the same by gripping onto your hips. His lips were soft against yours, filled with fervor and desire. He was gentle with you, but you could still feel the deepness of his kiss and how it intensified with each second. He had put all his emotions into it, his care, his appreciation, his want, his sadness, his grief, his love.

When he pulled away and the two of you stood there staring at each other with love stricken eyes, he realized he had made a grave mistake.

He realized he was in love with you. He realized that he would never be able to let you go, and you would never let him go. And he knew that with the direction his life was going in, one way or another, you would get hurt and he would lose you, maybe even to death itself.

So in that moment he knew. As much as he loved you and wanted more than anything to be with you, he couldn’t put you in that position where you would be staring evil and death in the face. He wouldn’t tarnish your beautiful soul like that.

“I have to go,” he breathed out. “Please, leave me alone. For good.”

And with that he turned away, leaving you standing under the tree with tears falling down your face, a sob escaping your throat and the sound of your knees hitting the grass below you. He held back his own cries and walked faster away from you, knowing you had finally done damage to yourself that you couldn’t heal, and it was all his fault.

PART 2

[goyaagogo]

I’ll Be Seeing You (George Luz x OFC)

Hiii this is very long overdue because I was working annnddd got covid and was stuck in Paris, weeeee. 

But anywho, here is chapter 5 and 6. There is finally smut in here (chapter 6), so be warned if you dont like that stuff. 

Here are the previous chapters if you missed them!

Part 1

Part 2

Chapter 5

Simone had walked home from CP alone that night, the gunfight having intensified and drawn nearer, making her afraid to stay, though she desperately wanted to-- to wait to hear word about Dick's men... about George.

 The next day had dragged on, a day that seemingly would never end. She spent the day in bed under the covers, trying to give her weary eyes a rest, but whenever she closed her eyes, all she could see was the flashes of gunfire against the backdrop of Bois Jacques and she would be overwhelmed with a feeling of remorse. She wondered if she had just run faster, maybe the soldiers would have had a chance to ready themselves, even if it was just a minute. She knew there was no use in wallowing, things had gone wrong before, messages delivered too late, hand-offs missed-- it was just the business of resistance work, and Simone knew it well, but this time it felt different-- and she knew it was because of George. 

She felt frustrated with herself-- this feeling was why she kept herself at a distance from those she worked with.As long as the day felt, she also dreaded the night. Would anyone be coming? Would it be Malarkey, or George? She felt entirely burnt out by nighttime, both delirious and numb from the lack of sleep and lack of food too-- she couldn't find the strength to make even the most meager of meals. The cold had finally driven her to the kitchen, warming herself by the fire, watching the flames dance and crackle in the hearth. There was a knock at the door, and immediately she wanted to cry. She didn't want to answer the door, she could think of little worse than answering it, finding out what happened-- if George was dead or alive. There was another knock, this one sounding harder and more deliberate. She pulled herself out of the chair, trying to blink away her tears as she walked to the door. There on her doorstep, was someone she didn't know but recognized as the third man in Dick's tent from last night. 

"Who are you?" Simone asked, not caring that she was being rude.

 If he was taken aback by her bluntness, he didn't show it. 

"I'm Ron Speirs."

She stepped aside, letting him by. She felt a rising tide of despair-- sure that this meant both Malarkey and George were dead. What else would be the reason another soldier would come? She grabbed the decanter of brandy and a single glass and sat down at the table, as Speirs stood near the sink watching her intently.Simone poured a glass and downed it quickly as tears began to fall.

 "How many?" she asked after a moment, having let the brandy numb her further.

"How many what?" 

"How many men are dead from the attack last night?" she croaked, the words tasting vile and sour in her mouth.

"None." Speirs answered and then asked, "may I sit? Or do Luz and Malarkey usually stand all night?"

Simone nodded at the chair across from her and Ron took a seat. None? Had she heard him right?

"None? No one died?" she asked as he settled back in the chair.

He took her glass and poured himself some brandy, taking it back in one swig before pushing it back to her.

"Pas une seule personne." he answered in impeccable French, "but there were a few injured."

"Malarkey... and George, are they okay?" 

Ron nodded, "not a scratch."

At once she felt like laughing and crying. They were okay and no one had died-- she could hardly believe it. 

"Why aren't they here then? It's always been either of them."

Ron took the cigarette from behind his ear and lit it, taking a deep draw."Thought I'd give them a break for the night." 

She nodded, feeling a foolish sadness-- did George not want to see her? Wouldn't he have insisted on coming, despite Speirs' offer? She scolded herself for such petty worries and poured herself some more brandy. Simone could feel Ron watching her as she took a sip and turned towards the fire. 

"Can you stop looking at me like that?" 

He smiled mischievously at her, not breaking his eye contact, “like what?"

 "Like... that..." she knew she sounded ridiculous, but she couldn't fully describe the way he looked at her-- with those piercing eyes that almost seemed to be undressing her. 

Simone wasn't a vain woman, but she knew when someone was keen on her.

 He looked down, still smiling to himself and took another drag off his cigarette. Simone felt herself in a foul mood suddenly, feeling cross that George hadn't come, and that Speirs was looking at her in a way that made her feel funny.

"I'm going to bed..." she declared coldly before pushing out her chair. 

She stood up, but felt herself go wobbly with fatigue, hunger and probably a little drunkenness too. She sat back down immediately and Speirs sat up, concerned with the state of her.

“Are you alright?"

Simone nodded and put her head in her hands, "I think I'm just tired..."

"What did you eat today?"

She was silent for a moment before answering, "rien."

"Nothing? You've had nothing to eat today?" Speirs had raised his voice and Simone suddenly felt like she was in trouble.

She shook her head in response, not daring to meet his eye. He sighed and stood up, flicking his cigarette butt into the fire. 

He started rummaging through her cupboards. Simone watched him as he cut a couple pieces of bread, popped open a jar of raspberry preserves and spread a thick layer on one piece. He stopped and looked around the cupboards again before turning back to Simone.

"Do you have peanut butter?"

"What?" Simone asked.

 "Nevermind..." he mumbled, turning back to the counter. He returned to the table and placed the plate in front of her.

"Eat." he said as he sat back down.

Simone took a bite of the sandwich, which was really just stale bread with jam.

"It would be better with peanut butter." he remarked as he watched her take another bite.

"What's that?"

"You crush up peanuts and it becomes this spread."

"That doesn't sound good..." she said after swallowing another bite. 

Speirs shrugged, "it's alright. Probably better than just jam on bread."

"Thank you..." Simone's heart softened slightly towards Speirs as she realized that this had been the first time in years, literal years-- that someone had taken care of her. 

"De rien." he answered with a small smile.

 "I guess I'll go to bed now. If I can stand up." Simone said as she pushed her chair out and stood up, just wobbling slightly. 

Speirs stood up too, "I'll walk you up."

"No, no I'll be okay. "

 "The last thing I need is for you to fall. Winters will kill me if you get hurt."

She relented and let him follow her upstairs, his hand on her back the entire way. 

They came to her room and she opened the door before turning to face him again. Speirs was quiet for a moment, and Simone could tell he was trying to find the words for what he wanted to say, but in the end he gave her a simple "Goodnight.”

"Goodnight.” Simone returned before shutting the door behind her, listening to his footsteps back down the stairs. 

 Chapter 6

Simone slept late the next morning, feeling that her body could finally rest knowing that no one had been killed the night of the attack, and that George was safe. 

As the day wore on, she began to feel anxious about the impending evening, hoping with all her heart that George would come. When night fell and she heard the knock, her heart raced as she went to answer it.

There on her doorstep was George, his goofy smile lighting up when he saw her. It took all her strength to not hug him.

"It's you!" Simone exclaimed as she let him in.

"It's me, George Luz, flesh and blood!" he said as he walked into the kitchen and took a seat at the table.

"Brandy?" she asked, grabbing the decanter from the counter.

"Oh yes please!"

She grabbed two glasses and sat across from him. She couldn't contain her smile as she watched him take a sip. 

"You survived Speirs last night, huh?" he asked, sitting back in his chair.

 "Was there a chance I wouldn't?" she asked with a laugh.

"He's a brutal, brutal soldier, though I suppose he would be on his best behavior for you."

"He was very nice to me, even made me a sandwich"

"Speirs cooked for you?" George exclaimed in disbelief.

"I wouldn't say he cooked-- he just put jam on bread."

"Geesh, didn't think he could handle a butterknife." George joked. 

Simone laughed and felt a genuine sense of elation at the present moment. She had agonized over George, whether he was alive or dead after the attack, and to see him in person, to hear his wise cracks-- it was almost overwhelming. 

She took a sip of brandy, and suddenly felt tears come to her eyes. She tried her best to blink them away, and looked towards the fire. 

"You alright, Simone?" George asked, sitting up, and scooching his chair forward towards her. 

She tried to smile and wipe away her tears as she turned to him. His face shadowed with concern as he looked at her.

"Yes, yes-- I'm fine, I'm just being silly..." she tried to assure him, but he still looked worried.

 "Being silly about what?" he asked. 

Simone sniffed and turned to face him, "I just... I was just so afraid that you were hurt that night...""

When? Oh, that ambush the other night... nah, that was nothing, we were fine."

"George, I was there... it wasn't nothing. I heard the bombs and the gunfire."

He looked confused just then, "you were there?" 

"I had gone with Malarkey to CP... one of my runners came here just before the attack and told me about it."

George looked sheepish, "well okay, so it wasn't nothing... but no one was killed, so it was alright in the end."

Simone was in awe of George's ability to see the good in terrible situations.

 "I thought that something had happened to you when I saw Speirs last night. I was so afraid you were dead."

Just speaking her fear out loud was enough for her to feel more tears coming on.

George reached across the table and swiped a falling tear from her cheek, "I'm alright, Simone, please don't cry." 

"I'm sorry, I'm being such a baby."George came over and sat in the chair next to her, pulling her into his chest. 

She cried in his arms, comforted by his warmth. “I’m just so happy you’re okay… I couldn’t sleep that night, I was so afraid you were hurt, or worse…”

“Aww.. are you sweet on me?” George teased before placing a gentle kiss on her head as he hugged her closer.

Simone laughed at the expression and sat up straight to look at him, the tears still streaking her face. She touched his cheek, smooth from a recent shave, and leaned in to kiss him. Her kiss was hungry and desperate but she didn’t care. 

Simone was done thinking—for now at least— done worrying what her involvement with him meant and the potential consequences. All she cared about was his lips and their softness, and how they felt as they moved slowly from her lips, to her jawline and then down her neck. 

She stood up and grasped George’s hand and pulled him up from his chair. He followed her up the stairs and into her bedroom, where she closed the blackout curtains and lit a couple candles on her dresser. 

She felt George come up behind her, placing his hands on her waist and tracing the curve of her neck with gentle kisses while he unbuttoned the front of her dress slowly, expertly, and she let it fall to the floor. She turned around to face him and they kissed passionately, her fingers working quickly at the buttons of his shirt.  

George slipped his shirt off and she pulled his white cotton undershirt loose and up over his head, revealing his smooth chest.

Simone then walked over to a bedpost and leaned against it as she took off her stockings one by one, watching George kick off his loosely laced boots. 

As George approached she saw a look of soft but smoldering desire in his eyes. Something about this felt different to Simone, more natural and less awkward than it had with other lovers. There was no pretense, no thoughts of the future, it was just this moment between the two of them. 

He stood looking at her for a long moment, taking in the sight of her and Simone was surprised at how relaxed she felt under his gaze. He looked at her like she was the most perfect being on God’s green earth. 

George stepped closer and grasped the hem of her satin slip, pulling it up and over her head, Simone putting up her arms in compliance, and then reached behind her back and undid her bra, letting it fall to the floor. She pulled him in, placing tender kisses along his collar bone as she unbuttoned his pants and let them pool at his feet. 

George inhaled sharply as Simone slid her hand into his boxers and gently grasped his hardening cock. She continued kissing his neck and chest as she stroked his length slowly, eliciting quiet moans from him. 

“Lay down…” George breathed, his voice now raspy and deep.Simone turned from him to the bed,  pulled back the sheets and laid down, her heart beating wildly as she watched him approach with his cock stiff against the white cotton of his boxers.

He climbed on top of her, and placed a gentle kiss on her lips, before placing more kisses down her neck to her breasts. He traced his tongue around the slope of her breasts to her nipples, sucking and nipping at each one, causing Simone to arch her back into him.

 George sat up on his knees and looped his fingers around her panties and pulled them down. Simone expected him to come back up, to kiss her, which she desperately wanted— she wanted to taste his lips, to feel his hot tongue on hers, but instead he settled himself down with his head between her legs.

 Simone sat up on her elbows and looked down at him, puzzled by his move. George held her gaze as he nipped at her inner thigh, making her jerk slightly at the unexpected feeling, and then placed a gentle kiss on her cunt, before slipping his tongue between her lips and up to her clit. 

Simone moaned and lolled her head back, her elbows giving out beneath her. She had had sex like this before, but somehow didn’t expect it from an American, but she was far from complaining. 

He continued licking and sucking her clit and folds and her breathing became ragged as the orgasm built to its crescendo.

 “Putain…” she breathed, grabbing at his hair and bucking her hips towards his mouth.Simone cried out, her body electric from the orgasm pulsing through her.

 She lay still for a moment trying to catch her breath, still seeing stars. She could feel George come up and she grabbed his face and pulled him in for a kiss, tasting herself on his lips. 

She felt desire build again as she felt his hard cock press against her, and she couldn’t wait to feel him inside her, except—

“George.. I- I haven’t had sex in a long time…I’m afraid it will hurt.”

He suddenly looked concerned, and rolled over to the side of her, propping himself up on his elbow.

“We don’t have to do anything more, Simone, if you’re not ready.”

“No, no it’s not that, George. I’m just afraid it will hurt… and that I won’t be much good anymore. I haven’t been with someone since ‘41.”

He shrugged, “it’s been since ‘43 for me… so we both might be rusty.. but hey, we’ll figure it out.” 

They both shared a quiet laugh, and she pulled him in again, their kisses growing in intensity until he had pulled his boxers down and settled on top of her. 

He ran his cock along her folds, gathering her wetness on the tip before sliding into her with ease. They both moaned and George stayed still for a moment, both of them getting their bearings.

 Simone felt herself stretch with his cock with only the slightest bit of pain before the overwhelming pleasure, as he slowly began fucking her.

“You’re so tight.. so fucking tight.” George breathed just as Simone wrapped her legs are his back, pulling him in deeper. 

She couldn’t remember sex ever feeling this good before. He varied his paces, going from slow and deep to fast and hard, pushing her legs up to get a better angle.

George began to tense, his thrusts becoming more erratic, “I’m gonna cum, fuck…”

“Cum for me, George...” Simone whispered in his ear, just before he pulled out of her, spilling his load onto her stomach with a final moan.

He rolled over next to her, both of their chests heaving up and down, trying to catch their breaths.

“Christ, Simone..” George exclaimed, pushing his hair, damp with sweat, out of his face.

“Putain…” was all Simone could say, her body still feeling aftershocks of pleasure.

She felt George get off the bed and walk over to his pants, riffling through his pocket till he found a handkerchief. He sat back down on the bed next to Simone and gently wiped his mess from her stomach. Simone watched his face, so soft but focused on cleaning her up right. It was a tender moment, and suddenly Simone felt a lump in her throat— she was falling for him. 

[possiamo-andare]

Just You (3)

JJ x Reader x Rafe (love triangle)

MASTERLIST

word count: 5k

a/n: I can't believe it's been eight months since I updated this fic. y'all are probably dead by now and this will prolly get no notes lmao but I finally wrote the next chapter and it's so good in my opinion so please don't be too mad. enjoy!

~

Y/N needed complete silence when she was reading. If she didn’t, it was almost impossible for her to even read one page. As a child, in a room full of other screaming children, Y/N found it almost impossible to read. Most of her teachers misread this difficulty with an inability to read, which was not the case. This miscommunication actually worked in Y/N’s favour because the extra attention resulted in a greater love for reading. Y/N soon found herself reading everyday and even found it hard to put down a book. When she couldn’t get a physical copy of a book, she then went online and delved into a world where people created their own worlds and fantasies for their readers. Reading had become one of Y/N’s favourite hobbies and she could do it for hours.

Unfortunately, tonight was different. At around 6pm, just as Y/N picked up a book to read, loud music began to play from a distance. At first, Y/N tried to ignore it but soon, like mentioned before, the music began to get louder, and Y/N could not focus on the words before her. The more she tried to focus, the more distracted she became by the music. Soon, she could focus on nothing but the blaring music coming from across the street. Finally, after ten minutes of pure agony, Y/N got up from her bed and stormed down the stairs of her home. Her face is red with anger, and she desperately wants to know who the hell thinks playing loud music on a Tuesday night is acceptable. Unfortunately, she knows the answer the second she enters her kitchen.

Her parents are laughing with each other as they make their favourite snack. Every night, her parents make their favourite foods together as a way to unwind and talk about their day. Sometimes they shared it with Y/N and her siblings but on nights where her siblings were out with their friends and Y/N was the only one home, they usually just spent time with each other. Y/N hesitated for a moment and smiled to herself, thinking about how sweet her parents truly are. She wonders if the person she marries will have this type of relationship with her. She wonders, years from now, how she will look back on her time in OBX. She hopes she looks back with fondness. The moment is ruined though because her mother quickly looks up from the stove, a toothy grin on her face.

“Hello darling.” Y/N’s mother chirps. She reads her daughter's distraught face and since she can hear the music too, she knows why her daughter is upset. Without even letting Y/N speak, she answers the question clearly in her daughter's mind. “Ward Cameron’s son, Rafe, is throwing a party across the street. You can go if you want.”

Y/N snorts. “That boy has been rudely staring at me since we got here, and you think I should go to his house?”

This time, Y/N’s father turns around from the cabinet. “I hear JJ’s gonna be there.” There’s a small smirk on his face and it instantly grabs Y/N’s attention.

She tried to brush it off. “Well, I don’t really like loud music.”

Y/N’s mother scoffs. “Yes, you do.”

Y/N nods, tucking her hair behind her ears. She knows that if there’s even a hint of JJ being at the party, she wants to go. “You’re right, I do.”

Y/N had not been to a party in years. The last time she had it was in her first year of high school. She had just moved to that new school only weeks before and had made only a couple of friends. The friends she did make were nice and invited her to a party. The party was okay, and she enjoyed herself, but she was very awkward because she barely knew anyone. She promised that from now on, she would only go to parties where she knew more than one person. Now, she found herself breaking that rule just to see JJ.

Since Y/N was in her pajamas, she ran back up to her room to change. She didn’t want to waste too much time picking out clothes to wear so she quickly looked through her closet and found a white sundress with small blue flowers decorating the material. She had never worn this dress and, when she first bought it, was unsure if she liked it because it was shorter than what she was used to but now, she was glad she did.

She lay her sundress on her bed for a moment and turned to her mirror, where she kept a cabinet full of makeup. Before she even put on any makeup, she looked back up in the mirror for the second time. As she finally had a chance to breathe, she realized her breath was unsteady and her hands were shaking. It was hard for Y/N to put herself out there. Most times, she was afraid of the rejection, or even at the fact that the friends she did have would be gone. But she remembered her parents' words. She was to stay in OBX for the rest of the year. She would make friends here. She would have a life here. With a deep breath, Y/N began to get ready for the night.

~

Y/N keeps fidgeting with her hair. She knows the more she fidgets, the more upset she’ll be with how she looks but she seriously can’t help it. She only does this when she’s extremely nervous and she knows why. She’s two feet away from Rafe’s front door and the music has somehow gotten louder. It’s almost as if he’s continuously trying to play the music louder to get her attention. Of course, she knows that to not be true, but still, Y/N had realized that in the last twenty minutes since she had decided to get ready for the party and walked across the street, the music had indeed gotten louder. She rolled her eyes as she approached the door, the loud music getting annoying. At this rate, Rafe Cameron would be deaf by the time he was 30. Y/N pretended not to care if he went deaf at all, but a tiny voice inside her head told her that she had to care for him because no one else would.

With a deep breath, she knocks on the door. She doesn’t think anyone would hear it because of how loud the music is but it’s worth a try. She was raised to have manners and would not just enter someone’s house before knocking.

To her surprise, only a few moments later, the doorknob twisted quickly and someone on the other end of the door opened it. It was as if someone had been patiently waiting by the door all night, opening it in hopes that she would come. Of course, she knew this to not be true because the person who greeted her was none other than Rafe Cameron. And he found her annoying.

Y/N couldn’t help but admit how delicious he looked. He wasn’t dressed in his usual preppy attire, no. He wore these ripped, distressed black jeans and a fitted white shirt with a baseball cap to match. It wasn’t necessarily his style that had him looking so delightful but his face. He seemed very relaxed. In fact, this was the most relaxed she’d ever seen him. His usual straight posture was now more curled and casual. His face, which had always been pale and gray, was now filled with colour. He wore a cute blush across his cheeks and nose, and on top of the blush was a patch of light brown freckles here and there. Y/N figured he must’ve been in the sun all day. That and he was also high out of his mind.

“Y/N…” He trailed, his eyes glancing at her dress momentarily before returning to her face. Y/N feels a little self conscious under his gaze. She wasn’t exactly confident in her outfit tonight and he seemed, for the first time in forever, more confident than her. “You, um, you’re - you’re very…”

She involuntarily snickers, not realizing she’s doing it until Rafe hears it. His face changes into a dark frown and she has a deep need to apologize. He was probably just trying to be polite, and Y/N must’ve caught him just as his high was reaching its climax. “I’m what exactly?”

Rafe rolls his eyes, knowing that she’s teasing him. “You’re not invited.”

Well, she can’t say she exactly feels welcome right now, standing at the threshold of his door. He still hasn’t even let her in.

Y/N scoffs, her feelings only hurt a little. Although he didn’t look preppy, he looked just as douchy. “Well, your music’s so loud it could wake the dead. Maybe if you didn’t want uninvited people to come, don’t make it so obvious that you’re having a party.”

Rafe scoffs this time. “Aw, I’m sorry. Did I interrupt your bedtime?” He takes a swig of his beer bottle and Y/N almost forgets that he’s obviously been drinking. “Were you having a little read before you went to bed? Lemme guess; you were re-reading the Vagina Diaries for the tenth time?”

Y/N’s chest twinges with pain just a little, knowing that the book was on her bookshelf with a worn-out spine. He seemed to know her very well, but it only angered her because he got the answer right. “It’s actually Vagina Monologues, but nice try. I guess for someone who hasn’t opened a book in their life, the Vagina Monologues would be interesting.”

Rafe chuckles and she has a small urge to kiss the corners of his smile. Thankfully, once she swallows harshly, the urge disappears. “Just come in and don’t put your hippie feet anywhere near my furniture.” He finally steps aside, and Y/N takes that as the kindest invitation she’s gonna get from him.

“You mean, your parents' furniture.” She puts one foot in front of the other and tries to remember how to walk. Although it may not seem like it, she’s nervous. She’s not too good with crowds. As she passes Rafe, she can smell his cologne and she feel as though she might faint. For such an annoying boy, he really was intoxicating.

Rafe is not given enough time to throw a snide remark back in her face because someone has entered Y/N and Rafe’s little bubble. It’s another very handsome boy but this time, he’s sweet. He’s wearing preppy clothes (cargo shorts and a pink polo shirt - big shocker there) but he’s not preppy at all when he introduces himself.

“Hey! I’m Kelso; nice to meet ya!” He gives Y/N a half hug because his other hand is holding a beer, but she still gets the sentiment that he’s friendly. His hand respectfully lays on Y/N’s shoulder and Y/N actually hugs him back even though that’s not her thing with strangers.

“I’m Y/N, and it’s nice to meet you too!”

She watches as his brows go from a relaxed arch to a surprised arch instantly. It seems that whatever she has said has caught him by surprise. “Oh? You’re Y/N?” Kelso looks to Rafe for a moment, his eyes narrowing in amusement. Rafe tries to indirectly tell him to stop by flipping him off, but it only encourages Kelso. “I guess we have you to thank for this incredible party then!”

Y/N frowns, turning around to look at Rafe. They’re still in the entryway of his house and she hasn’t so much as taken in her surroundings, but this seems too important to ignore. What does Kelso mean? Did Rafe throw this party in hopes that she’d come? There was no way. Doesn’t Rafe find her completely annoying and obnoxious? If so, why would Kelso say such a thing?

“He’s joking right?” Y/N tries to confirm from Rafe but by his meek smile and his cheeks that have only gotten redder since she entered his home, she knows there’s some truth in what Kelso is saying.

Rafe shrugs, trying to come up with a lie. He had confided in Kelso as a way to relieve the stress that liking Y/N has caused but instead, Kelso just had to mess it up. “Well, not exactly.” His mouth is forming a lie before his brain can even properly think of one. “I mentioned to Kelso that you’ve probably never been to a party in OBX, so he must’ve thought I threw it for you.”

Y/N nods, confused as to why she feels a little sad. For some reason, a little part of her hoped that Rafe had thrown a party for her to notice him but alas, it had all been a misunderstanding. “Oh, well, okay.”

Except it wasn’t a misunderstanding at all. Rafe had told Kelso that the only reason he was throwing this party was for Y/N to notice him in a new light. He knew she thought he was just another annoying preppy Kook and he wanted to change that. He thought maybe, just maybe, if she had fun tonight with him, she’d finally start to see him as he truly was, a loveable dork. Unfortunately, that seems to be ruined now.

Before any more words can be exchanged, someone yells for Y/N. She instantly looks to the crowd of people in Rafe's backyard and sees JJ and Pope. The door to his backyard is open so the yelling is clear and not muddled by a barrier. They seemed to have been yelling for a while because they looked exasperated. Y/N watches as JJ stands from his lawn chair and motions for her to come sit beside them. She smiles for one of the first times tonight and nods, the pressure on her chest lifting when she sees her two friends. She wanted to take to Rafe later and get the full story because she had a feeling, he wasn’t telling her the complete truth, but she wanted to greet her friends first. She’d get to Rafe later. For now, she wanted to relax.

When Y/N departed from Rafe and Kelso, awkwardly waving goodbye before maneuvering to the back of Rafe’s house, Kelso spoke first.

“Dude, why didn’t you tell me she didn’t know this party was for her?”

Rafe glared at his friend. “You really think I’d tell her that. Now she probably thinks I’m even more creepy than before.”

Kelso rolls his eyes at how dramatic his friend was. “You didn’t see her reaction, bro. I don’t know if she even knows it herself, but she definitely likes you.”

Rafe rolls his eyes. He doesn’t allow for his hope to rise because he knows it’s not true. He can’t let himself have any more hope that the new girl in OBX would want to have anything to do with him. She can’t like him because no girl like her ever has. So, instead, he steals glances at her for the rest of the night and hopes to God he can get high enough to forget about the beautiful girl across the street.

~

Y/N tried to enjoy herself, she really did. And to JJ’s credit, he tried to help her relax and have some fun. She drank the beer that was offered to her, danced with JJ and Pope, and even took two puffs of JJ’s joint. But, although she felt thoroughly buzzed, Rafe never left her mind. She tried to throw a few sneaky glances his way the entire night, but she couldn’t find him. She even left her spot beside JJ and pretended to get a refill on his nasty beer just to see if she could spot Rafe. Unfortunately, he was nowhere to be seen. At first, she thought it was just because she wasn’t looking hard enough but soon, after three whole hours of not seeing Rafe even once, she realized he was avoiding her. And if he was avoiding her, it meant that he was embarrassed from their conversation at the beginning of the night. Which meant that he lied, and he had in fact thrown this party just for her.

This revelation crept into her mind slowly throughout the night but when it finally sunk in, she was speechless. She didn’t know how to react. Sure, there was a slim chance that he had been telling the truth but the less she saw of Rafe at his own party, the more she realized that he had lied to her.

JJ had noticed how off Y/N seemed. When they had seen each other earlier in the day for her surfing lessons, he had made a fool out of himself. They had been practising for a few hours before they both called it quits, deciding to pick it back up the next day. Before departing, JJ offered her ice cream for a hard day's work, and she gladly accepted. They both ordered the same flavour (mint chocolate chip - he swore they were soulmates because of this) and ate it as they talked. When they were both finally finished, Y/N went to hug him goodbye, but he instead extended his hand awkwardly for her to shake. She seemed slightly embarrassed, but he was even more so. He had wanted to hug her but didn’t want to without her permission, so he thought a handshake was the safe bet. Unfortunately, he thought wrong and now, that awkward interaction was burned into the back of his mind. He was worried that’s why Y/N seemed so detached, barely speaking. When she had gone to refill her cup, JJ looked to Pope for advice. He had never been so needy for a girl’s approval before and since Pope seemed to want everyone to like him, JJ thought he’d give the best advice.

“So,” JJ sighs and he finishes telling the story of their awkward interaction. “Do you think that’s why she’s been so quiet?”

Pope snorted. “JJ, I think it’s just you. I doubt she even remembers it.”

Although his friend tried his best to reassure JJ, he couldn’t shake the feeling that something was burdening Y/N’s mind. But, before JJ could continue his conversation with Pope, Y/N reappeared with a glass full of beer and a somber face. The topic was not brought up again.

JJ had been right though. Something was burdening Y/N’s mind. It’s not everyday that a girl finds out a boy who she thought saw her as a bothersome girl actually saw her as much more. It’s a difficult experience to relate to and not a problem Y/N thought she would have. Apparently, Rafe was better at hiding his true feelings than she thought. She had always assumed that when she’d catch him peeking through his window, watching her ride her bike with her brothers or bask in the sun as she read another book, he was judging her. She assumed he was making fun of her and her hippie family. And when they had first met in the main office of her school, it only solidified in her mind that he saw her as a joke. But instead, he might’ve actually liked her. You clearly only watch people in that way if you hate them or like them and since it clearly wasn’t hate…

No. She wouldn’t let her mind go there. Besides, even if he liked her, who was to say if she even liked him? He had been nothing but rude to her, even when he had technically invited her to this party. He called her a hippie (not offensive by itself but when Rafe said it, it might as well have been), watched her from his window with a scowl, and was a complete snob. If Y/N knew what was good for her, she’d stay far, far away from Rafe and anyone he associated with. But Y/N was a dumb teenage girl and curiosity got the better of her. She needed to find another good excuse to go inside and search one last time for Rafe.

The excuse presented itself when JJ made a small remark of how thirsty he was. Y/N jumped at the opportunity to refill his drink, even though he offered to go himself. But she insisted, taking his cup from his hands before he could argue any longer. As she made her way back inside, her eyes looking for the handsome brunette, Pope leaned closer to JJ.

“See? And you thought she didn’t like you?”

JJ nodded, feeling better about the whole ordeal. Unfortunately, if he knew why she truly had wanted to venture inside, it’s doubtful he would have felt better. He probably would’ve felt worse. But he didn’t know, and he wouldn’t know for a while longer.

Y/N first made her way to Rafe’s huge kitchen where all the kegs were lined up. Half of them were already empty but the night was coming to a close and soon, half the party would leave and only Rafe’s closest friends would stick around until 5am. It was midnight now and although she didn’t have a curfew, she wanted to be home by at least 1am. So, as she filled only JJ’s cup, she decided against filling her own. She didn’t want to be too tipsy in case she ran into Rafe. Although, by this time, she thought it was very unlikely that she’d ever see him.

Just as that thought crossed her mind though, another person entered the kitchen. Y/N recognized him immediately. It was Topper. They had never interacted much, just a brief wave whenever she’d pass his house when she rode her bike. If he was outside, which he had only been once or twice, he’d wave, and she’d wave back. Other than that, they never spoke. Until now.

He stood beside her, filling two glasses with beer. His blond hair was wet and sticking to his forehead, but his hands were so full, and he was so drunk he didn’t seem to notice. Y/N had seen Rafe’s pool, but she did not find herself on that side of his house for many reasons (the pool was on the other side of the backyard, she didn’t bring a bathing suit, and her mind was busy with more important matters). Topper seemed to be struggling with refilling two cups, his hands shaking just a little. Y/N instantly registered that he needed help and decided that busying herself with assisting Topper would help take her mind off Rafe.

“Here,” Y/N offered, setting JJ’s cup down on the counter. “Let me help.” She takes one of the glasses from Topper and begins to fill it up, all the while keeping an eye on Topper to make sure he doesn’t spill the other cup.

“Thanks.” He mumbles, swaying back and forth to the music that is blaring from somewhere inside Rafe’s house. Y/N can’t help but smile a little at this giddy boy who would otherwise be embarrassed for acting so weird if he was not so drunk.

Unfortunately, not even helping Topper can keep Y/N’s mind off Rafe. She wonders that since Rafe must’ve told Kelso something about her, Rafe could’ve confided in Topper too. From the gossip that JJ had told her, Topper used to date Sarah but even after they broke up, Rafe and Topper remained friends. So maybe, just maybe, Rafe had said something to Topper about her? She figured even if she asked Topper, it would never get back to Rafe. Topper was clearly drunk and would not remember the conversation he had with Y/N. No harm, no foul. Right?

Unfortunately, that idea was quickly squashed because just as she began to open her mouth, someone else entered the room. It was Rafe.

Rafe had skillfully avoided Y/N all night, while still stealing glancing her way. He never noticed that she too had been looking for him. He was so nervous that he’d eventually bump into her that he would make Kelso check every room before he entered it. Unfortunately, Kelso was drunk by midnight and could no longer help Rafe. Rafe tried to let it go, figuring you were probably gone by now. So, he asked Topper to refill his cup as he helped Kelso into his mom’s car. But, when Topper still hadn’t returned by the time Rafe entered his home, he thought there was no harm in checking up on him. Apparently, there was a lot of harm in that.

And now, there they stood, facing each other for the first time since the beginning of the night. Rafe wanted to turn back around and leave but he had always made a fool of himself, and he knew that if he awkwardly left without acknowledging Y/N, she’d surely think even lower of him. So, as soon as their eyes made contact, Rafe awkwardly raised his hand and waved. He could feel the awkward smile painted across his face and Y/N seemed to mimic him.

“Hey.” He squeaked out, taking both cups from Topper before speaking to his friend. He figured the less he looked at Y/N, the less awkward he would feel. He was wrong. “Top, why don’t you lie down on the couch. I’ll bring the beers soon.”

Topper only nodded, slowly making his way out of the kitchen, leaving his friend and Y/N in there alone. Alone for the first time since the beginning of the night. Both their pairs of eyes were trained on their drinks; Y/N was clutching onto JJ’s and Rafe held one for him and one for Topper. No one spoke for a while. Y/N had waited all night to get Rafe alone, just so they could talk and now she didn’t know what to say. She awkwardly shifted the weight in her feet, unable to think of the first thing she wanted to say. They were only five feet apart, but they might as well have been worlds away.

Rafe was in agony and decided to get it over with. He spoke first. “So, are you enjoying the party?” He spoke so formally, as if he was chatting with his grandmother, but he was too uncomfortable to speak any other way.

Y/N nodded, relieved he had taken the first leap forward. “Um, yeah. Never knew that kids could throw parties like this.”

Rafe smiled for a moment, happy that she was so amazed at his dullest party of the year. His heart fluttered at the thought of Y/N dancing in that beautiful white dress with him. Holding onto him as they swayed to the music, pulling her close. Close enough to -

“So, Rafe, I wanted to talk about earlier.” Y/N began, playing with the skin around her nails. It was a nervous tick she had yet to get rid of.

Those eight words destroyed Rafe. At that moment, he knew she had not believed his original lie. He wasn’t too surprised though. He was a shitty liar and Y/N seemed to pick on everything he did. Although he would rather rip his fingernails off one by one than have this uncomfortable conversation with Y/N, he knew he’d have to give her the answers she was looking for. Even if that meant embarrassing himself.

Finally, he nodded. “Um, uh, okay. What’s up?”

Y/N began to speak but before she could get a coherent sentence out, someone else entered the kitchen, making a bunch of noise as he did. Their eyes met instantly and when she recognized who he was, her back straightened slightly as if she had been caught in a salacious act. It was JJ.

“Y/N, what's taking so long?” He stops just after he enters the kitchen and as soon as his eyes go to Rafe, his smile drops. He’s confused beyond belief. He doesn’t know why Y/N is speaking to Rafe. He didn’t even know they knew each other. “Uh, am I interrupting something?”

Y/N forces a smile, glancing at Rafe briefly before walking past him and towards JJ. She hands JJ his cup and he gladly takes it, a look of pure confusion written on his face. “No, Rafe was just asking me if I am enjoying my first party in Outer Banks.”

JJ's eyes shift to Rafe, whose face is pure white. “Really? How… kind?”

Y/N knows JJ is suspicious so to curve his focus back on her, she reaches up to cup one side of his face. JJ’s eyes instantly fall back onto her, a small smile back on his lips. “Walk me home, JJ. I’m getting tired.”

JJ nods sweetly, placing his hand over the one that’s cupping his cheek. “Sure. Go get your stuff and I’ll meet you at the front of the house.”

Y/N looks back to Rafe one more time, a small smile on her face. Rafe pushes his lips into a thin line, nodding goodbye to her. She does the same, leaving the kitchen as quietly as she entered. Y/N’s afraid to leave JJ and Rafe alone but she really has no reason to stay any longer. She hopes that she can get Rafe alone soon so they can have an actual conversation. Tonight, was kind of a disaster but being with JJ and having such a fun time with him made up for it. She knows JJ is the type of guy she should be with. He’s fun and carefree and they’re too much alike to not get along. Even though this is all true and she does have feelings for JJ, there is a part of her that yearns for Rafe. And that part scares her.

Once Y/N is gone, JJ’s smile drops, and he turns back to Rafe with a menacing glare. “Look, I don’t know what your game is here, but I really like Y/N. We both know you’re not her type. So do both of us a favour and leave her alone.”

And with that, JJ was gone too. Leaving Rafe alone.

Even with all these people in his house, Rafe never felt more alone.

~

taglist: @tovvaa @canyoubuymetoast @multisimpinghoe (sorry to these queens for waiting so long lmaooo)

[moonbaby26]

Title: The Man from the Sky

Pairing: Loki x Goddess!Reader

Summary: You were a Greek sea goddess, just enjoying a typical day of nothing when a strange new god dropped into your land.

Warnings: None yet. There is smut in future chapters already written. Will post more soon.

Notes: I’m aware that what we’d think of as ancient Greece well predates who we’d call the vikings and their like cruising around the seas. This doesn’t take place at the height of the Greek pantheon worship, but old enough in human history that some men still believed in both sets of deities.

Chapters: Next Chapter Here

My Masterlist

—————————

You dipped your feet a little deeper into the warm water as it lapped the edges of the rock you sat upon. The sea was calm today, and the wind gentle as the nymphs chatted around you about the usual things. A bit of gossip one had heard from a local river nymph, a new shipwreck one had found, status of a fish migration from another.

You wouldn’t exactly call it boring though, you specifically chose these more remote areas when you came ashore for this very reason. It was so much more unlikely for you to run afoul of mortals here, or even others of your own kind that you may not feel like putting on airs with at this very moment.

It was so quiet in fact, that you were considering getting up to go lay in the sand on the beach in a few minutes and enjoy a nice nap in the sunlight.

That was before the boom which echoed through the air all around you. Somewhat like thunder, but not quite as all the nymphs fell silent.

When nothing came after, you felt all their eyes then turning to you. Their voices piped back up soon enough, though the tones in them changed to all nerves now.

“Do you wish to leave, milady?”

“Could it be Zeus?”

“But it didn’t sound like him.”

“Is there a volcano nearby?”

“What else could it be?”

“I don’t know what it was, I’ve never heard that sound.” You finally said, though now looking inward to the land. You were at least sure that the sound was not of the sea. But you refused to give in to the nymphs’ skittishness too quickly. And without real reason to leave, eventually you all did start to relax again.

Yet then came the cries. “Goddess, mistress please!” That cry absolutely was from the land as you looked in time to see the river nymph you’d met earlier in the day now running from the tree line and down onto the sands. She stumbled slightly, just before reaching you where the sea met the rocks.

She was panting, clearly having run some distance as she continued. “I’m so glad to still find you here,” She bowed slightly, only because she didn’t know you well enough to realize you didn’t require this.

“What is it?” You asked simply, honestly more curious now than anything else. What could she have seen that would strike her so alarming? Any nymph worth their ilk would know every creature, every natural occurrence, all that existed within their lands.

“There is a man in the forest, he came from the sky!” Yet she continued quickly, sure you would only think of Olympus. “But I do not recognize him as one of your own family. And his clothing, he is not of our territory. This I am sure, my goddess. I watched him only long enough to see that he was very angry. I am afraid of his intentions here.”

A man? But not truly a man. Mortals did not come from the sky.

“An angry god?” You said, now standing as you then stepped down from the rocks. The forest belonged to Artemis truthfully. But being this close to the sea, you thought that the older goddess would forgive you this if it came down to it. She would rather the nymphs be protected you were sure from any childish acts of a god’s wrath that may now come into play here.

You had brought no armor, the possibility of battle so far from your mind when you’d come ashore today. But that didn’t mean you travelled completely defenseless. “Bring me my spear please.” You requested of the sea nymphs.

Though they were still anxious, they responded dutifully, one sinking beneath the waves before reappearing with the glinting weapon in hand. It shone a brilliant silver, sea foam still running off its blue spear tip as she handed it to you out of the water.

“Show me the way, and I will investigate this stranger.” You spoke plainly, hopping down onto the sands as you strode barefoot towards the forest, spear in hand. “We will keep our distance as best we can, we don’t seek conflict, understood?”

“Yes, milady.” You heard, the sea nymphs staying behind you as the river nymph moved in front to lead you upward, the sand transitioning to rocky soil and the sparse vegetation and trees beginning to increase as you climbed the hillside.

For the sea nymphs, you could hear them losing their footing here and there in the loose soil, themselves of course far more adapted to swimming the ocean’s depths at your side rather than hiking up into the forests.

You did hope you were not putting any of them in danger. But if you felt they truly were in harm’s way, you would have no qualms in telling them to retreat back to the water at once.

“Up ahead,” The river nymph whispered to you, pointing towards a clearing you could now see leveling off in the distance. But the opening looked so strange with the density of the other trees now around you.

“Was that always there?” You asked her, knowing something unnatural when you saw it, even when this far from the water.

“No,” She confirmed. “When the sky opened up, it carved out the land as well. He appeared when that force receded.”

“Understood.” You replied, though in truth not really understanding at all as you motioned for all the others to proceed no further. You’d never seen something like this. “I will go alone. If he should attack me, please return to the sea to seek help.”

They fidgeted, looking unhappy but not arguing your choice. “Please be careful, goddess.”

You nodded, but kept on slowly. You tried to remember what you’d been taught as a little girl about stalking and hunting on land. So many moons ago, running through the forests with Artemis and at times Pan, being mentored before returning to the sea to your father, mother, and so many siblings.

But the closer you came, the more you realized that the stranger would likely not notice any sound of light footsteps approaching or ground shifting. As you neared, you saw his form pacing back and forth in the clearing, seemingly cursing to himself in a language that was not your own.

Yet it still sounded familiar. Abruptly you knew where you had heard a dialect like this before. It sounded so much like those voyagers from the northern seas. The ones with their longboats and course beards, sometimes with hair as red as fire as they fished and sang and fought.

And he did look as pale as them as well. But with hair like black of night, and a frame far more slender than the burly mortals you’d seen rowing those northern boats along. And just as the river nymph had warned, his clothing confused you as well. Rich green robe, but with black and gold as well. It was wholly foreign and exotic to you in its styling, as was he.

When she’d said a strange man had arrived, honestly you had also expected someone older in appearance. He looked quite youthful to be honest, even as his brow remained furrowed and his fists clenched at his sides.

And just when you thought his feet may actually cut a path in the earth from his agitated pacing, he finally slowed, then stopped all together.

This is when you froze as well, knowing you now had a decision to make. Should you keep to your hiding, just to hope he should eventually leave in whatever fashion he came? Or should you reveal yourself to question his identity and purpose here?

“Done spying yet, or do you intend to actually do something with that spear?” A cutting voice spoke abruptly to your side, so suddenly that you almost lost your footing, shocked as the same man emerged from behind other trees only feet from you.

But you still saw him in the clearing as well, at least you did momentarily before the image of him there dissolved, leaving only the form now nearest you.

“You speak my language?” Was all you questioned instead of answer him though, as he had said those last words only in your tongue. You also kept focusing on backing away as you chose to keep a safer distance. He was some sort of illusionist at least then, which could escalate the danger here very quickly if he made you lose your bearings.

And he was starting to circle you a bit you realized as he began to walk again. But you willed yourself to keep your spear at a neutral position, rather than aim at him, still not intending to provoke attack if it could be prevented. You had no idea what other strengths he might have, and your primary goal was still to keep the nymphs from getting caught in any crossfire.

“Not all of us are so uneducated,” He snapped back at you, still in your language, though you could detect that foreign accent underneath.

You were not wholly unused to rudeness though, yet it had been a very long time since you could recall being spoken to directly in such a manner. It was more the bickering between others in the palace that you were sometimes forced to be party to. Which was only another reason you often favored the relative isolation of the mortal world.

“You need not be so offended, stranger. I only came to see who had entered our land, and to protect my friends if need be.” You answered as reserved in tone as you could.

“Then you have done your duty, girl, and can now be gone. I came here to be alone. If I was actually intending to plunder this wasteland of nothingness, your little cohort never would have made it back to you to begin with.”

You stared, a little coldness entering your eyes then. So that was what had given you away. He’d already been aware of the river nymph to begin with, and had been waiting for someone to return the entire time while leaving that illusion of himself still in the clearing as distraction.

And he’d actually referred to you as ‘girl’. Did he really think you just one of the nymphs then? It was hard to say if he was intentionally trying to goad you, or if he really was so unfamiliar to not realize you for what you actually were.

You straightened a bit, replying, “Insults to our homeland aside, I will leave you to this quiet then, if you should at least tell me your name. You are clearly not of Olympus, and we still have right to know who it is who traverses into this particular land of mortals which we hold sovereignty over.”

He scoffed, clearly wishing to not speak to you even a moment longer. But in the way his chest puffed slightly, you thought it was only pride then that made him physically incapable of denying his identity.

He actually moved closer to you as well, that agitation still rising further in his voice. “Little fool, you stand before Loki! Son of Odin the Allfather. I am god of mischief, prince of Asgard. Your witless mortals should count their blessings that an Asgardian should ever see fit to even set foot here!”

You didn’t know if you’d been quick enough to mask the true surprise from your face. You had already assumed him a god. But never...never had you actually laid eyes on an Asgardian. They never came to this part of the world as far as you knew. And was he telling the truth? Was he really a son of Odin?

This stranger’s arrogance aside, if he were a child of Odin, you knew your own father would be furious with you if you were intentionally insulting now. Asgard and Olympus had never had the closest ties, but you were not enemies either. Asgard was honored by the mortals of the north, and Olympus still honored by those of the south, though perhaps not quite as much as the true olden days.

It took real will, but you bowed graciously to him in return. “It is an honor to meet you then, Loki, son of Odin.” As you straightened up, in his eyes you could see he was trying to judge you as sincere or not. But you just continued smoothly. “As promised, I shall leave you to your thoughts then. But I would be unmannered to not offer my assistance should you need a hostess in your time here as a guest in our land. My name is (Y/N), daughter of-”

You hesitated only the briefest moment, “of the sea,” is what you decided on though. Unlike Loki, you preferred a little anonymity with strangers. You didn’t wish to be targeted just for your lineage.

And with that, you turned, beginning to walk back towards the beach, even as you finished talking. “If you should need me, you need only find the sea’s edge and call for me. One of our creatures will hear you soon enough and seek me out.”

But some odd part of you regretted not being able to see his expression as you left. You wondered if you only would have seen more disdain and condescension at your offer.

Regardless, he said nothing else and soon enough you were back on the sand, the nymphs chittering in a mix of horror and awe around you.

“Who does he think he is, speaking to you that way!?”

“Do you really think he’s of Asgard? Shouldn’t we alert your father?”

“Why would he even come here? He seemed so bitter. Do you think they cast him out?”

“I’d cast him out, with a dirty attitude like that!”

You looked to the horizon, just taking a breath. “I don’t think we need to rush and tell my father just yet. But I do know where I want to go now.” You looked to the river nymph briefly though, “Please have those in the forest keep a distant eye on him. Should he leave or do anything else of note, please let us know.”

You glanced back to the sea nymphs then. “The rest of you return to the oceans. I’m going to Olympus, to the libraries there. I want to find out more about Asgard, to see if he is who he says he is. I’ll return to the water soon.”

They all nodded, “Yes, milady. Please let us know what you find!”

“I will,” you agreed, just watching them dissolve back into the waves.

Were you excited perhaps? Or just very curious? Nothing interesting in this way had happened in ages. You were determined to learn all you could on this new arrival.

—————————

The Olympians had been a little surprised to see you gracing the halls there. So many of your cousins had dropped in time and again to say hello, curious themselves of why you were out of the water this long and seemingly such a bookworm all of the sudden.

And you did read for days. All you could find on Asgard, on Odin, the Norse mortals, and their language. You found record that Odin had born two sons, honestly an oddly low number you thought in comparison to the many children of your own kings.

But there in these tomes, were those two names, Thor and Loki. Thor, god of thunder, amusing of course in comparison to Zeus, king of all, including lightning. But also Loki, god of mischief, just as he’d said.

You were surprised, but enthralled as you actually found a drawing of Loki within the book. Though not completely accurate you thought, you still recognized that type of clothing. The green and gold, and the pale skin and black hair with his icy blue eyes. You tilted your head a little, looking at the gold helmet he wore in the artist’s depiction, with long horns curving from it like those of a great beast.

Was he really a beast? Or just a too arrogant manchild? And why did you increasingly wish to find out?

—————————

(Continued in next chapter here)

[shuahoonie]

out of love [tom holland]

PAIRING: tom holland x female!reader 

SUMMARY: being close friends with your ex is fine, right? even if your love for them was unparalleled among others. even if you were still in the process of moving on from them. even if you know they’re happy with someone else. even if you have no clue whether they loved you like you loved them. 

WARNINGS: foul language, so much angst, it starts ok at first then goes downhill from there. i literally write things on the go so i don’t know if this will have fluff at some point 

(if it does and i didn’t state it here, send me a cute photo of tom and a message of: ok wow she pulled thru 🤪; and if it doesn’t have fluff, send me a meme and a message of: miss girl i simply cannot today ✋😃)  

WORD COUNT: 5.6k 

A/N: hello! tonight, we are going to be sad!!! i know i usually like to write about all things fluff, but this?? this is just for me because i am having one of those episodes. i just need to feel something again aside from the stress of writing 3 academic papers per week lmao. i’m def not expecting people to like this type of vibe but yannoe. i apologize in advance. 

this is inspired by that one episode from new girl (season 6 x ep 16)

gif credits: @thollandgifs​ 

vanessa’s masterlist | taglist form | part two - pandemonium ​​

“You know, you can still live with us right?” Your friend Maia commented as she placed the box, labelled “fine china that mom gave me but will i ever use them?”, on the kitchen island. 

“I know,” You murmured dropping the heavy case of pots and pans on the floor. “But maybe living alone will be good for me.” You replied, forcing a smile. “Besides, I don’t want to int—“

“Hey, Y/N, where do you want this?” Harrison asked as he held out a box that’s labelled with “books that my grandpa passed on. HANDLE WITH CARE!” 

“Oh, just set it down on the living room—“ before you could even finish, Harrison dropped the box on the floor as if it was nothing. “Harrison!” You hissed, as you quickly rushed to check on the box. 

“Y/N, babe, they’re just books. Surely they can withstand any amount of pressure, yeah?” Haz tried to reassure you. 

“Haz, those books are from my grandpa—which I’m sure he got from his grandpa.” You sighed. “They’re really old and fragile, so I just want them to be in a well enough condition to stand in my bookcase.” 

“‘m sorry,” He murmured, rubbing the back of his head. “It’s just, why do you have to move out?” Harrison asked, frustrated at the whole thing. 

“Like I told Maia, maybe having my own place will be good for me.” You replied calmly, as you neatly put the box filled with your grandpa’s books in the corner room—the initial place where you want to build your bookcase. “It’s been a while since I’ve lived on my own.” 

“Yeah,” Harrison acknowledged “But there’s absolutely no reason for you to move out. You can’t possibly leave me with her!” He pointed at Maia who let out an audible gasp. Harrison was being dramatic of course.  

“Haz—“ You were trying to fight off a laugh. “You two are my constants and if I became dependant on having you two at my convenience, it’s going to be a huge problem.” 

“In my opinion, I don’t see it as a problem.” Maia pointed out childishly. You shook your head in disbelief. You had to move out because you miss having a place to yourself— a place where you can be at your complete worst and you don’t have to think about your friends worrying about you. 

Besides, moving out means you don’t have to see Tom that often and that was a bonus in your book. It wasn’t a sour breakup per se, it’s just really difficult to feel happy for your ex when he practically showcases how different he is now with his girlfriend. 

You prided yourself as a mature and well-rounded person who could be complete friends with her ex as if that’s normal. You could only keep the façade for so long. 

Four months. It’s been four months since you and Tom broke up. You lived with Maia soon after the breakup and that enough was a blessing. Maia couldn’t bear to handle the fact that you would be alone at a time like this. Harrison usually crashes at Maia’s so he was bound to move in with you two. In fact, he was always there more often than you. 

That was the point where you were convinced that Harrison liked Maia and that Maia liked Harrison.

Conveniently, you and Tom never ‘officially’ moved in together so you could avoid him freely at all costs.

Of course, that was eventually going to end soon. You and Tom were in the same friend group so you were bound to see each other, much to your dismay. You couldn’t exactly make Harrison and Maia pick friends because it’s not fair for anyone. 

You were all friends before you and Tom decided to date. Maybe that’s why people say to never date a friend—especially if they’re near and dear. 

You were coming back from work when you found people in the living room, and as if the universe really wanted to test you, it was the least likely people you’d expect to see. 

“Y/N!” Maia’s voice was pure panic. “I didn’t know you’d be home this early.” 

Your eyes quickly flickered between the two people standing across you before you diverted your attention to Maia. “Uh—yeah. There wasn’t really much to do in the office so I came home early.” 

Maia turned to Harrison who was equally lost on how to handle the situation. I mean, who wouldn’t?! What were you supposed to do when your friend drops in unannounced with their new girlfriend and to makes the matters worse, your other friend—whom your friend dated before— decides to come home early? 

You didn’t know how what kind of spirit took over your body that prompted you to extend your hand to the girl sitting beside your ex and say: “Hello, I’m Y/N.” 

The girl looked surprised but shook your hand in return. “Nadine,” Nadine smiled slyly “I—um, I’m Tom’s girlfriend.” 

Tom looked mildly uncomfortable but you chose to ignore it. You were becoming good at that—ignoring Tom. 

You returned the smile at Nadine. You could feel the burning stares from your friends, mostly Maia. You cleared your throat and said, “I’ll just be in my room to finish the papers I need to send to my editor if you’ll excuse me.” 

Before you left completely, you gave Nadine another smile and said, “It’s nice to meet you again, Nadine.”

You don’t remember how you got to your room but that was the least of your concern. You were just undeniably overwhelmed with what just happened that you didn’t even notice that there was a knock on your door. 

When you opened the door, it was the last person you expected to see standing in your doorframe. 

“Can we talk?” Tom asked in almost a whisper. 

You gave him a half shrug and opened the door slightly wider for him. 

“We’re okay, right?” He asked, looking at you in the eye. 

At this point, you convinced yourself that you were numb. You never talked about the breakup. You never overtly said anything about what you felt. You felt empty. You convinced yourself that you were empty. 

You stared back at Tom and without missing a beat, you replied “Of course. Why shouldn’t we?” 

“Just admit that you two will miss me,” You teased, grabbing another box from Maia. 

“Only if you admit that you’re moving out for an entirely different reason,” Maia whispered carefully as her eyes flickered towards Tom who was also helping with your move out. 

You pressed your lips together and acted like he wasn’t even there. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You said, you know, like a liar. 

You weren’t a vocal person. The idea of talking about your feelings was really difficult for you so you try your best to avoid it. Actually, it’s worse than that. You’d go to extreme lengths to avoid confrontation.

Obviously, it wasn’t healthy. You would always distance yourself whenever you feel emotionally exhausted, and you really meant that distance. It wasn’t bad at first—maybe a day or two was all you needed before you felt comfortable enough to be around people again. 

Then it became worse when you were in university. You were beyond unreachable. Aside from being emotionally exhausted, you were mentally drained too. You were always buried with papers and readings which was unavoidable but it took a huge toll on you. So whenever you get a chance to get a break, you completely shut off from people. 

Your friends definitely noticed it and they tried their best to help. 

Tom was among the people who definitely went out of their way to help you. He would always drop by at your dorm with food or coffee—he would literally just drop them off, most of the time. He would leave small notes that up to this day, you still kept and tucked away in a box. 

Both Maia and Harrison followed Tom’s approach. They would all alternate on who’s dropping what and when. Some days, Maia would drop off a new skincare product she’s been using or a lovely box of macarons from your favourite patisserie. 

On other days, Harrison would drop off some of his home-cooked meals or maybe a book he saw from a local bookstore—a book that reminded him of you.

Tom was very persistent though. He would sometimes wait out on the hall, just so he could see you and reassure himself (and your friends) that you were okay. 

You found it taxing at first—you would often try your best to match the energy from your friends, which only left you exhausted at the end of the day. You wanted space and you clearly weren’t getting that from Tom. You did acknowledge that he only did it out of pure concern. 

You often wondered why he did that, staying, but you didn’t ask him. You never did.

Maybe you were afraid that you’d come off as rude or that you’d seem ungrateful for dismissing someone when they’ve clearly taken the time off their day just to check on you. 

However, every time you’d open that door, it always seemed that Tom would breathe a huge sigh of relief when you lock eyes. Even if it was just for a quick second. You wondered about that too.

Tom wasn’t really being intrusive. Most of the time, he will leave a few minutes after you’d open the door to get the things your friends would drop off. You’d always ask him if he wants to stay inside for a bit, but he’d always decline.

Except for that one time, though. That one time that you knew you were going to fall in love.

It was the week of midterms and deadlines. You were knee-deep with papers from different classes that demanded to be finished that week, one of which was a research paper that practically tied you to your laptop and made you consume an unhealthy amount of caffeine. 

It wasn’t until 2 am when you were about to go on a quick drive to a McDonald’s but saw Tom dozed off in the hallway, his back pressed against the wall.

“Tom,” You shook him gently, trying not to startle him. “Tom, wake up.”

His eyes slowly fluttered open, seemingly disoriented at first but would soon fall into the warm familiarity that your face always brings. 

“Why are you sleeping in the hall?” You asked quietly, careful not to make a fuss. The walls in your dorm were very thin and you learned that the hard way. You’d think they’d put a disclaimer about that in the lease when you’re housing a bunch of university students with raging sex drives. 

It took Tom a minute to fully comprehend the question, seeing that the bright fluorescent light was being harsh on him and that he’s generally like that when being jolted awake. 

“Oh, erm, I—” Tom was finding the right words to use. He can’t exactly exclaim ‘I’ve been worried sick about you!’ out of nowhere. Instead he said, “I was waiting for you to open the door, just to see if you’re alright.” 

“All night?”

Tom scratched the back of his neck. “It seemed that way, yeah.” He muttered sheepishly. 

You were dumbfounded. Surely this was the first time someone actually fell asleep outside your door, waiting for you to come out. It was sweet but highly unnecessary. 

“I was just about to head out and get some McDonald’s, do you wanna come with?” You asked, giving him a hand to hoist himself up. 

“I should get going—“ 

“Have you eaten yet?” You asked cutting him off, taking Tom by surprise. He shook his head no. “Then you should really come.” You said, jingling your car keys in front of him.

Tom was debating whether or not to go with you. It’s been a while since you hung out, but that was the same case for everyone. None of your friends have properly hung out with you ever since the semester started. 

Tom should say yes, right? 

“Let’s go, Tommy,” You said as you grabbed his hand and dragged him across the hall. “I’ve been staring at my laptop all day and I really need some unhealthy food to balance out the concerning amount of caffeine I’ve consumed.” 

“Is that why you’re practically bouncing off the walls?” Tom asked amused, trying to keep up with your pace with your hand holding his. 

“Totally,” You grinned at him. “I need to wear out the caffeine or else, I’d have to skip my morning class again.” 

“French?” 

You nodded. “They’re counting the amount of absences in that class and I really need to keep my shit together.” 

“‘m not exactly sure why you took that as an elective,” Tom commented, properly wrapping his hand around yours with fingers interlacing each other.  

You tried to ignore it, you really did, but the warm feeling that settled around your stomach drove you crazy. 

“Why not? I think it’s cool to learn another language.” You nudged him playfully which he gladly returned. 

“I know and trust me, I’m in awe that you’re learning another language! erm—I guess it’s just I feel like you’re overworking yourself too much.” Tom pointed out softly, hoping he didn’t come off as rude or intrusive. 

“Eh, I don’t mind.” You replied “It’s what drives me to keep going and for me that’s more than enough. Even if it leaves me little to no sleep, even if it takes too much of my time—it’s enough reason for me to do it.” 

Tom stared at you in admiration as soon as those words slipped out your mouth and you didn’t even notice it. You were walking towards the student parking lot, consumed by the twinkling lights from the neighbouring lanes near campus. 

Maybe if you weren’t busy consuming the quiet campus grounds, you’d notice the very first time Tom fell in love with you. 

“Besides, I know a phrase in french now.”

“Hm—and what’s that, then?” 

“Je ne suis pas l’escargot” 

“L’escargot? Isn’t that—“ 

“I am not a snail,” You giggled. “Well, it’s true, isn’t it?”

Tom laughed, “I supposed so.” 

Maybe if you weren’t so afraid of confrontation, you’d have an idea of when Tom knew that you were his person.

See, the thing is— you needed to face reality sooner or later and both your friends could see right through it. 

“Honestly, Y/N, how on earth can your box of art materials be this heavy—” Tom appeared in front of the door frame, heaving as he carried the box from two flights of stairs. 

You quickly averted your gaze from Maia, who was staring at you expectantly, and cleared your throat. “You can just set them by the door, Tom. I don’t know where to put them yet.” You said as you tried your best to act normal. 

“You sure? They’re a tad heavy and I don’t want you to strain yourself.” Tom asked with furrowed brows. 

All you could do was nod. The last thing you wanted was Tom’s focused attention on you.

“If you say so,” Tom sighed in defeat “I’m going to grab more boxes—Baby, you don’t have to carry that!” Tom was quick to disappear as he urgently dashed towards his girlfriend, Nadine. 

“Oh, but I want to help, Tommy.” You heard Nadine say sweetly, assuming she was also pouting. 

You could see Maia roll her eyes, urging you to give her a nudge and a taunting look. “Maia,” you called her out, silently pleading her to stop. 

Maia settled down but she wasn’t exactly calm about it either. “I’m still not sure why she’s here.” She murmured. You and Harrison were close enough that you can hear her rambles—which was expected from her anyway. 

Maia and Nadine go way back—like toddlers and playgrounds kind of way. Though that sounds figuratively adorable in a way, Maia and Nadine never got along. 

Nadine used to date Maia’s brother, which already caused Maia a great demise. As one could expect, the relationship didn’t end well. She left him out of nowhere, saying she needs to find herself—or something along those lines. 

A week after the breakup, what Nadine found was herself in the arms of another man. Of course, Maia’s brother was devastated—He truly loved Nadine. Maia had to be the pillar that her brother leaned on. It took Maia a great amount of time to help her brother pick up the pieces that Nadine left. 

So yeah—Maia wasn’t thrilled when she heard that Tom was Nadine’s new boyfriend. 

“She offered to help, Mai,” You whispered “Who am I to deny help?” 

Maia looked at you as if you managed to empty your head while you were moving in between flats. “She’s been after me ever since we were kids. She’s also the reason why it took my brother months to get out of bed,” Maia deadpanned “and She’s Tom’s new girlfriend. Remember Tom? Your ex?” She said rather loudly.

You gave her a tiny pinch on her arm, causing her to yelp. “Maia, are you nuts?!”

Harrison left the two of you so he could grab more boxes, while you and Maia bickered silently amongst each other. 

“You are thicker than I thought—Seriously, Y/N. Quit pinching me!” Maia aggressively rubbed her arm. 

“They’re going to hear you!” You hissed. “The last thing I want is for those two to get involved.” 

“Babe, they’re already involved. Tom, especially.” Maia remarked. “I see the way you look at Tom. I also see the pain you feel whenever he’s with she who must not be named.” 

“I’m not doing this Maia,” you mumbled as you walked past her. Your objective was now to help Harrison with the remaining boxes. Your objective was anything but to talk about you and Tom. 

“You have to face it sooner or later, Y/N.” Maia called out “I’m not leaving you or this apartment until you tell me what really happened.” 

“What’s going on?” Harrison asked as he entered the apartment, carrying three sets of boxes. You grabbed one from him and actively avoided his question. 

Before Maia could reply, Tom and Nadine appeared on the doorframe, with Nadine practically glued to Tom. 

“Harrison got the last remaining boxes so we’re heading off now,” Tom announced as Nadine’s face painted with clear desperation to get out of your place. “Are we still going bowling tonight?” Tom asked before Nadine whispered something in Tom’s ear and left.

“I’m actually exhausted so I’ll pass,” You answered, obviously avoiding spending time with your ex and his current girlfriend. You’re not that pathetic. 

“Same might actually have to just drink the night away,” Maia responded with a grin.

“Well, there’s no way I’m third-wheeling so I’m good,” Harrison said as he threw himself towards the plush teal couch that you snagged from a flea market. 

For the tiniest second, Tom seemed disappointed but gave a tight-lipped smile. “Oh, maybe we can reschedule our bowling night, then?” He asked. “It’s not as fun to go bowling with just the two people.” 

You, Harrison, and Maia all shared a look. You weren’t on board with bowling-night, to begin with, but you didn’t want Tom to feel as if you were avoiding him—which you were but no one needs to know that. 

Maia looked at you, waiting for an answer because god knows she will solely depend on her decision based on yours. You don’t even have an answer, to begin with. 

“What are you two supposed to do then?” Harrison asked Tom. Thank god for Harrison.

“I might take Nadine to this poetry jam event that she’s been dying to go to” Tom replied with a soft voice. 

“A poetry night?” Maia almost wanted to laugh “You don’t even have the slightest interest in literature, Tom.” Maia didn’t mean to offend him or maybe she did? She wasn’t completely fond of Tom ever since you and Tom broke up—well, she wasn’t fond of the idea that Tom was dating her ‘arch nemesis’, but Tom was her friend and so were you. 

“I know that, Mai.” Tom rolled his eyes “but Nadine likes it and I’ll do everything to make her happy.” That left a bitter taste in your mouth. 

“If you say so,” Maia murmured before she took a quick look at you. She looked like she wants to give you the biggest hug. But you held a stoic look on your face—something that you picked up because you were afraid of confrontation. 

“I’m serious,” Tom defended, lost in his feelings, which only irked Maia even more. 

“I know, I heard you— we heard you,” Maia replied, her face showing only one emotion: annoyed. “God, read the room,” Maia grumbled to herself. Harrison had to reach for her hand, urging her to calm down. 

“I really love her,” Tom whispered. That left a slap in the face. 

It was a cold Saturday afternoon and it has been raining almost all day. It was one of the rare weekends that you weren’t really occupied to do anything other than to lay on your couch and consume a copious amount of entertainment.

Despite the spitting rain, you actually want to head out this time. Being confined to your desk and the university was torture especially since you couldn’t do anything about it—the four of you were graduating this year, no one could afford to slack off. 

You and Tom were cuddled against the sofa— Tom was busy watching something on TV while you were busy scrolling on your phone. 

“Hey, Tom?” 

“Yes, my sweet girl?” 

“Do you want to go downtown?” You asked, looking at your phone as you read the details of an event happening this weekend.

“Right now?”

“Mhm,” you hummed. “There’s a book fair being held at the local theatre.” You rested your chin on top of his chest and gave him a pout. You were getting sick of being cooped up between your study table and the library. This book fair was a change of scenery and it’s definitely right up your alley.

“But it’s raining, darling” Tom tried to say in the softest way possible. It’s not exactly up in Tom’s interests though.

“I know,” You sighed “I guess I’m just getting sick of this place.”

“You’re getting sick of me?” Tom asked with a huge pout. He was kidding of course. 

“I don’t think I’ll ever get sick of you, Tom.” You chuckled softly. 

“Okay,” He hummed, pulling you closer to him—if that was even possible. “Then can we stay like this for a while?” 

“Anything for you, angel.” You whispered as you closed the details about the local book fair. Maybe next time. 

Soon after Tom left, Maia pulled you to her side and asked, “You okay, babe?” 

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” You feigned innocence. It was clear as day that you weren’t okay, your friends knew that. 

Knowing that you weren’t going to budge, Maia walked towards the kitchen and brought out a bottle of wine from the fridge. 

Harrison raised an eyebrow at her and asked, “When did you manage to put that in the fridge?” All of you had been occupied with grabbing boxes that there was no way that Maia had the time to put wine in the fridge, let alone obtain them from somewhere.

“It was supposed to be a celebratory drink for Y/N’s new place,” Maia replied as she set the wine and three various mugs on the coffee table. “Obviously, that’s not happening now.” Drinking wine using the oddly designed mugs you collected over the years was a cry for help. 

“It’s 4 pm, Mai.” You pointed out as you stared at the white LED clock that you bought off Amazon—another impulse purchase enabled from scrolling on Pinterest for way too long. “We haven’t even had lunch yet.” 

“Oh please,” Maia snorted “If there’s one thing that I’ve picked up from university, it’s drinking with little to no food consumption.” 

“And if there’s one thing that I’ve picked up from university, it’s cancelling all of my plans for the entire day because I have to tend your hungover-self, Mai,” Harrison remarked as he grabbed the bottle and placed it back on the fridge. “I’m ordering food and no one’s drinking until everyone has finished a meal.” 

You heard Maia mutter a string of curses but most especially the part that she said, “This is not the version of daddy that I envisioned Harrison to be.” 

All of a sudden Maia’s idea of binge drinking doesn’t seem like a bad idea, you thought. 

Turns out Harrison had no intention of letting any of you drink. He was pretty adamant about not having to babysit two drunk messes in one night. 

“As if babysitting one isn’t enough,” You recalled Harrison say. He was obviously pertaining to Maia, in which she just huffed the entire time. You often wondered if Maia and Harrison noticed the obvious tension between them, because personally you found it endearing. It was no question that they were meant for each other. 

“Y/N, you still haven’t told us whatever happened between you and Tom.” Maia suddenly pointed out. You, Maia, and Harrison were still in the living room, silently watching TV. 

You were actively avoiding this conversation for the longest time as you haven’t told anyone about it, and based by the curious faces of your friends, you figured that Tom didn’t tell anyone about it either. You’re still not sure whether that’s a relief or not.  

“There’s nothing to talk about.” You mumbled. It’s not like you were lying, there really was barely anything to talk about. Heck—You and Tom never got to talk about it properly either. 

“We see the way you look at him, Y/N.” Harrison replied softly. “I think there is something.” 

“Look—” Maia sat up properly “I know you’re not really vocal about your feelings, but the fact that you’ve never talked nor showed any emotion about your breakup terrifies me, babe.” Maia’s tone was laced with concern. 

“I remember the day you told us about it too,” Harrison couldn’t hide his concern too “We were having brunch together at our usual diner and half-way through our meal, you promptly said “We broke up” when Maia asked where Tom was,” Harrison recalled it like it was a fever dream. He and Maia had already expected that you weren’t going to tell them about the breakup when it just happened. However, it baffles them that it’s been over a year since you and Tom broke up, and not one word has been said about it. 

It was silent for a while, except for Criminal Minds that was playing on the TV. You blankly stared at the screen, hoping that you’d catch whatever the agents were saying. It was impossible, especially when all your mind could focus on was the recollection of the day Tom knocked on your door at 1 am to breakup.  

You were relatively busy that day from volunteer work, so you haven’t seen any of your friends the entire day—or Tom for that matter. Actually, you haven’t seen Tom in a few days. He would send texts periodically throughout the day but they were always short and most of the time, you always forget to reply. 

You figured Tom was busy with his own thing and both of you established early on in your relationship that texting—or lack thereof— shouldn’t account to your relationship, especially since both of you are equally bad at it. 

You didn’t think any of it since you were bound to see your boyfriend and your friends tomorrow for brunch anyway. He will have your undivided attention by then. 

So imagine your surprise when you heard a soft knock from your door at 1 am, only to find Tom in disarray. His eyes were bloodshot red, tears falling down his face. His messy curls were masked under the hood from his jumper. 

At first you were in panic, you thought that something terrible had happened to any of your friends—his family even. 

But as soon as Tom dropped to his knees and whispered, “I’m sorry,” you had a clear idea what was bound to happen next. 

It’s been silent for a while. The door was still open and Tom sat out in the hall with his back leaning against your wall. You did the same thing except you were on the other side of the wall that Tom was leaning on. 

You two were close enough to the door frame that you could hear each other, actually facing each other was a whole other thing. Tears kept streaming down your face as you kept your eyes closed and rested your head against the wall. 

At some point in your relationship, you prepared yourself in case this happened— that you would accept whatever happens between you and Tom. You didn’t exactly anticipate that it would happen so soon. 

“Was there someone else?” You asked quietly. It was the first time you spoke after Tom dropped to his knees. You hoped there wasn’t. In fact, you silently begged to yourself that there wasn’t someone else, because you knew that you couldn’t handle that. 

“No, no—of course not.” Tom immediately answers.”I could never do that to you.” 

It was silent again. You were starting to feel numb—you tried your best to gather your thoughts and forced words out of your mouth, but you couldn’t. 

“Are we not worth fighting anymore?” You practically whispered. It was a gamble— you weren’t exactly sure if Tom had heard it and you don’t have enough strength to ask it again. 

“Y/N,” Tom sniffled. “You can’t say that.” He placed his hand on top of yours. You had your hand resting on the floor and you didn’t exactly notice that it served as an invitation for Tom hold it again. 

You love Tom with all your heart. He kept dismissing it but Tom made you a better person. He made you feel like love can be expressed through different forms of things—not just words.

You loved him by exclusively making time for him. You went on museum dates where he would make cheesy remarks, saying that you’re the most remarkable piece of art in the entire place. You went on dates to watch football games—you never understood it but Tom was happy, so you were happy.

You loved him through your touch. You would often massage his back because he had been tirelessly working himself to the core. He didn’t ask for it but you knew it would make him feel better. Your touch didn’t have to be intimate—though you expressed it through that way too

You loved him through mindless actions. Almost every time you would stop by at the local cafe to grab yourself some coffee, you would always recite Tom’s favourite order on autopilot. 

You loved him through silence. Study dates were gems for you. Even if you didn’t talk for the entirety of it and even if you were the only one who studied for the most part and Tom was just playing on his phone, having Tom beside you was enough.

You loved him so much that it pains you to think that maybe you weren’t enough for him. 

“I don’t think I can fight for someone who doesn’t even want to,” You muttered bitterly. “Just answer the question, Tom.” 

He didn’t answer. All you could hear were the silent sobs that you two were trying to hold back. At this point, you knew you wouldn’t look at Tom. Your heart wouldn’t take it—it will crush you. 

“Are you not happy anymore?” Your voice cracked as you broke into a sob.

“Y/N—“ Tom squeezed your hand even more. You’re going to miss it, but you had to let go. 

“Tom, if I’m standing in the way of your happiness then we should end this.” You cleared your throat and pulled your hand away. There’s a ghostly feeling that still lingered from Tom’s touch. 

“Please, Y/N, let me explain—“ 

“It’s okay, Tom.” You whispered. “I understand.” 

“You know I love you, Y/N.” 

“I love you too, Tom.” 

“But—“ 

“But maybe it’s best if we end it, I know. I got it.” You let out a deep breath, trying to calm yourself down from crying. “Maybe it’s better if we stayed as friends.” Maybe it’s better to realize that whatever you and Tom had were too good to be true—that your love will never compare to the love he deserves. 

“Do you want the truth?” You asked your friends, with tears forming in your eyes. You can’t even decipher how they looked at you because of the tears clouding your vision. 

Were they looking at you in pity? Empathy? Sadness? 

“The truth is—I’m mad.” You gritted the words through your teeth. This was the first time your friends had seen you like this. All of the pent-up sadness, aggression, and hurt you felt was starting to get the best of you. 

“I’m angry. I’m hurt.” You snarled, furiously wiping the tears from your face. “I’m angry at the fact that I can’t seem to be genuinely happy for Tom. I’m hurt at the idea he seems to be a better boyfriend for Nadine, that he constantly makes an effort for her.”

“I don’t even know if he even loved me the way that I loved him,” Your voice became quiet “and it’s selfish for me to think that way because I never fought for it—for us. That’s enough reason to keep me up at night.” 

That’s enough reason for you to wonder if you’ll be capable of loving someone so deeply again. 

PERMANENT TAGLIST: 

@quaksonhehe @dark-infernal-instruments @trustfundparker @emsma11 @tomshufflepuff @spider-babe @goodgirlgonetom @tabi-toast​ 

[imagine-straykids]

Stray Kids SS: Argument PT. 1

SS for short scenarios. Stray Kids arguing with their significant others

requested? No. I just write whenever I feel like it.

genre: fluff, angst, romance, etc etc.

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Bang Chan

     You’re no bragger but you think you’re pretty reasonable most of the times. You understand your boyfriend is a busy person and his work came first and foremost. You’ve tried not to take it personally and he has made it pretty clear before you guys even got into this relationship that he wouldn’t be the best person with time management.

     Of course you took a gamble and compromised to form this bond with the one and only Christopher Bang. You had always put his feelings first whether that’s him choosing his friends, work, or music over you, you were definitely okay with that as long as he came back to you at the end of the day. Even the smallest texts nearing the end of the night like “Goodnight sweetie, hope you had a good day!” was enough for you. You weren’t asking for much. You don’t know how much lower you can set your standards because slowly and progressively, Chan was already failing to meet them.

     The most you guys have ever been apart was maybe two weeks and even then, Chan had always made sure to check on you through texts or phone calls. So when it was nearing a month, and he has rejected your invitation to do something for the second time in a month, you were left to feel less than pleasant whether you had set yourself up for failure or perhaps did you deserve more than what you had settled for.

       You couldn’t help but to be upset to some degree and even then you still doubted if your feelings were valid. You even felt guilty since you had promised him a long time ago you would be understanding. Were you wrong for just wanting a little bit of your boyfriend’s attention?

       So when Felix brought you his breakfast treats like he would every Sunday because the boy loves baking, he could tell in your eyes that your world was seeing more than blue. You weren’t your usual self who was always welcoming and greeted him with warmth. The tone in your voice and your body language imitated that of a walking dead and although you tried your hardest to put on a great appearance, Felix could see right through you.

       When he had asked you if you were alright, a sea of tears just came bursting through. Like a puddle that you had held inside for weeks finally being freed. You told Felix everything and everything. It was nice to have someone to talk to, for once in a long time. Felix had always been very understanding of you and was very much like a brother. He reassured you and you felt so much better after, that when he left, you even thought you might finally be able to get a good nap after some words of comforts.

       Your nap was shortly disrupted when a series of loud knocks were ringing through your door. It took you a few seconds to process everything because your brain was still trying to wake up along with you. Then a beep from your phone was heard. You turned to the left side where you had placed your phone and noticed long notifications of texts and missed calls from Chan. Oh lord. Well of course who could that be at the door then.

       Felix had only told Chan out of good intention, and honestly you weren’t even surprised. Not one thing said to one of those boys will stay in its origin. You crankily tossed your blanket aside and walked up to the door as you took a deep breath. You opened the door and it was just the one person you were expecting.

       Chan looked totally out of breath, as if he had been beaten by a stick over and over again, you can see the sweats tracing along the line of his forehead down to his cheeks and his hair has gotten messier than usual.

    “Chan--” You were cut when Chan just shoved himself inside your apartment.

    “Why didn’t you tell me earlier?” He looked at you dead in the eyes as he shut the front door.

    “Tell you what?” You weren’t acting naive but you just wanted to know what exactly Felix had told him.

    “What you told Felix. Why didn’t you tell me that? That you wanted to hang out with me, that you’ve been feeling sad and lonely?”

    “I did. I asked you twice if you wanted to go out or do something. You said no both times.” You defended yourself.

    “Why didn’t you say anything when you were not feeling good then?” A worrisome look overshadowed his angrier look earlier.

    “Pfft,” you scoffed. You couldn’t believe what he was saying. “Really Chan? Do I need to feel less than okay, do I need to question if my boyfriend even wants to be with me, for you to actually worry now?” you challenged him full on.

    “What do you mean.” Chan wasn’t gullible, but sometimes when he gets too caught up on one thing, he misses another.

    “Why should it be my responsibility that you act like a reasonable boyfriend who cares about his girlfriend’s needs. I shouldn’t need to tell you when you should be doing your parts. You were on the line of almost ignoring me for a whole month, doing whatever you’re doing without caring for my well being, and the two times I ask to do something, I get pushed aside. And you’re here telling me I’m not trying harder?”

    “I already told you from the beginning, y/n, that I am not the best person to be in a relationship with. I lose track of times, get lost in my own thoughts. I apologize if I made you feel like I didn’t care about you. I do. Sometimes I just need time to myself, you know. And I try to do it without hurting your feelings but it’s hard. Because I care about you too.”

    “I know that you’ve warned me from the beginning. And I’m a fool. I can’t do it anymore, Chan. I’m not the girlfriend you want me to be. I thought I could do it because I love you so much... but it hurts to be away from you. I can’t do it, Chan. Sometimes I just miss you, and want to be with you, but I’m afraid I’m going to bother you because you’ve already set your boundaries. I’m sorry.” you started sobbing even thought you told yourself you weren’t going to cry. 

    Chan quickly pulled you into a hug as you ugly sob into his chest.

    “It’s going to be okay, y/n. We can get through this together. If you still love me, we can talk it through. You still love me, right?” he angled your frowning face up to his.

    “Of course,” you answer like music to his ear.

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Lee Know

    Before you ever accepted Minho’s confession, you’ve been told by nearly everyone around him that he would be a handful. And oh Jesus, you wish they had warned you better, because he wasn’t just a handful. Minho was a pain in the ass if he didn’t try. Even before you got together with him, he found pleasure in teasing and making fun of you whenever he got the chance to. 

    But besides the assholery moves Minho liked to pull, when he was just with you, he showed sides of himself that only you got to experience. That’s pretty much your answer whenever somebody ask you how did you guys even got into a relationship considering y’all were pretty much like fire and water. The person who everyone else found to be a living nightmare because you just don’t mess with him since he has such a way with his words, you’ll find yourself questioning your intelligence.

     Minho can either be the best person you’ll ever meet in your lifetime or as so he likes to claim, or he can be the person that makes your feet turn the other way whenever you hear his name. So you knew this weren’t going to turn out pretty when Minho was forced to be in a team with Hyunjin for game night and Hyunjin was losing every single point possible.

       At first, him and the rest tried to play it off light heartedly, but you can feel the room growing sour each time Hyunjin missed the hints and was unable to score a point for this game of Charades that was suggested by the super innovative Chan, who decided that Hyunjin and Minho in the same team was evolution.

       The others were having a blast poking fun at Hyunjin and Minho whose points were definitely not looking very nice until Minho out of a sudden, slapped the pile of papers onto the ground and said he’s had it.

    “I don’t want to be in a team with him! He sucks!” Minho pointed fingers at Hyunjin who obviously took it personal by the look of his face.

      The room silenced and everybody just stared until Chan spoke up, “Come on, just this once. You guys are never on the same team because you always want to change.” 

    “Yeah, because he sucks, can’t you see. Even a 5 year old kid would be able to score more points than him. We’re not even losing by a little. We’re unredeemable at this point,” Minho spit out without missing a single beat.

       Everybody was growing uncomfortable, especially Hyunjin who had done his best to stay positive the whole time.

    “Minho! Can you not. That’s incredibly rude. It’s just a game. Losing one night won’t kill you. How childish can you be.” You stared at your own boyfriend in disgust.

     “Really now, you’re going to argue with me against this?” It was like he really couldn’t believe you were not on his side.

    “So what if I am. You’re acting ridiculous and you deserve to know it.”

    “Guys! Please stop. Don’t argue because of me please. He’s right. I wasn’t very good. Don’t be angry at him because of me, y/n. I’ll be fine. I’m going to go outside to get some fresh air, I’ll feel better once I come back.” Hyunjin excused himself and left.

      You could only roll your eyes when Minho, being his stubborn self was refusing to go after Hyunjin and continued to stay in the same spot.

    “How selfish can one be.” You criticized him before you followed after Hyunjin.

     You had hoped Hyunjin didn’t think too much of it, knowing how Minho usually is. Being the sweetheart he is, he thanked you and told you not to worry. When you went back inside, the others notified you that Minho had already left and honestly, you could care less. He was being a d*ck and this time, you weren’t going to cave in. Only time would help kill that inflated ego of his. 

         About a week has passed and you still haven’t talked to Minho and vice versa. You knew that his diva ass would never give in, so you didn’t quite know why you were silently battling him when you’re pretty sure if you wanted to fix this, you’ll have to do it yourself. But you didn’t want to.

         You’ve had enough of Minho always getting what he wants, always having the last say in anything, and thinking that you’ll always bend backward for him. It’s kind of funny because Hyunjin had actually told you that Minho already apologized, so why are you guys still fighting? Pride. Now it’s just a fight of pride. And as much as Minho has it, you have a lot of it as well.

           It was the weekend, and usually you’ll spend your weekend with Minho doing whatever you guys usually do but since he wasn’t here anymore, you decided to just spend your day relaxing with a nice cup of tea watching Netflix. It was your day off work and you weren’t going to let this day go to waste.

           You gently set your tea down on the little table to your right, about to lay against the couch when the corner of your eyes caught your screen lit up with a text message. You sat back up and struggled for about a couple seconds trying to reach your phone that you had placed a little too far. 

           It was from Minho. You couldn’t believe it. Reading what he sent you just made it even more amusing.

        Stupid, are you going to apologize or not - Minho Lee

        Why should I apologize. What the hell? I didn’t do shit - Y/n

        Okay well I already said sorry to Hyunjin so I don’t know why you so pressed for. I didn’t do nun to you. I mean I know you kind of had a thing for him and all before we met but don’t take it out on me - Minho Lee

         This little shit, you thought.

         Bruh. I never liked him tf. I just think he’s very pretty. Prettier than me. And unlike someone, he actually has half a brain and some human decency - Y/n

           Okay we get it, you have a crush on Hyunjin - Minho Lee

           No, dumbass. The problem is you always going around saying, doing whatever you like without considering other people’s feelings. I know that’s your personality and all, but there’s a limit between what’s okay and what’s crossing the line, and whenever I try to tell you, you never listen. Always doing whatever you want. Hyunjin is one of your best friend and you hurt his feelings the other day and didn’t even feel bad about it until someone got in your face and told you you were being a d*ck. I love you, Minho. But I just wish you would listen sometimes and be open to I don’t know... improvements? - Y/n

           I’m sorry, I’ve just grew up this way so it’s hard to get out of a pattern. Sometimes I say things I don’t mean and sometimes I say things I do mean and then I don’t realize that my actions has caused harm to the other person, because I’ve just always been this way you know. Others have tried telling me before but I've always brushed it off because I am a stubborn person. But I care about you. You’re one of the very first person other than the members that I deeply care about. So if you’re telling me this out of love then I’ll take it into consideration. I know I should’ve been nicer to Hyunjin as well. Chan yelled at me for a while the other day, so please don’t yell at me too :( - Minho Lee

         Of course I care about you. Everything I do is out of love, dear. You’re one hell of a nuisance but I love you. I know you grew up this way and it is difficult getting out of a pattern, but take little steps. I’ll be here with you. and yeah, you totally deserved that from Chan. Jk I love you - Y/n

         You’re mean :( can I come over. We were supposed to go shopping today - Minho Lee

          Mhmmm. Let me think about it - Y/n

          Well you have 2 seconds, because I’m already outside your door - Minho Lee

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Changbin

    Changbin liked to brag about anything and everything, whether that’s how many confessions he got on Valentines, to how many people who wanted to be his partner when it came to a science project, or even the amount of girls that would hit on him daily.

    You never really minded because that was just how he is. And of course, mainly because you knew all those scenarios only existed in his head and was as real as flying fairies and pink unicorns. So when someone was actually blatantly hitting on him, Changbin wasn’t as knowledgeable as his bluffs claimed to be.

    Changbin was one of the best from his music class, so good that the professor made him the teacher’s assistant even when the semester was on going. He usually talk tales of how many students usually needs his help when it came to writing lyrics or composing as a beginner. Interesting enough, but nothing major as he’d like to phrase it.

    Then every time when you guys would usually meet at the end of classes to which you usually ask how his day went, he started talking about this girl who he’s currently assisting. At first it was nothing out of the ordinary. Just a student from his class who he’s helping because that’s his job. Even the first two or three days of his on-going blabbering about this student didn’t kick something in you until maybe the fourth time this week where this girl is always managing to squeeze herself into his schedule everyday. It shouldn’t have bothered you, but for some reason it did.

    Especially when he’d say alarming things like “Oh yeah and she also asked me if I wanted to get a drink after class but I told her I have plans.” or “She compliments me a lot and told me if I have time, she’d love to listen to my work.” 

    Maybe you’re overreacting and she’s just a really engaging and kind person. You felt bad at first for assuming such a thing about another human being, so you gave her the benefit of the doubt because you didn’t know your dumbass boyfriend would be this oblivious when someone is clearly trying to get inside his pant.

    So when you happened to walk past the school garden the following week and saw the both of them from your very clear sight, you were a little more than dumbfounded. This girl was not even trying to hide it at all. You didn’t know how Changbin was keeping his eyes to himself at this point. The outfit she was wearing was definitely very sexy and appealing. Changbin was still faced down, scribbling something on the music sheet trying to get the female to engage but she clearly had something else in mind.

    You could’ve sworn you saw her hand trailed alongside Changbin’s thigh and so you accidentally let out a shriek, but quickly hid behind the thick white pillar, grumpily dragging yourself back to class in anger after.

    After your final class of the day, Changbin waited for you at the bench near the entrance where you guys had always met up. He beamed with ecstasy once he saw you, but you quickly brushed past him and continued walking completely shunning his existence. His smile progressed into a frown once he realized that you were not in your usual mood.

    He ran in front of you and blocked any further movements.

    “Y/n, are you okay?” He asked with a concerning expression.

    You didn’t say anything and only continued scowling.

    “Come on. You know you can tell me anything,” He encouraged.

    You of course, continued to be silent for a few more seconds because you honestly couldn’t get anything out due to how enraged you were feeling on the inside.

    “You liar!”  you slapped his chest with literally no strength at all as your tears escaped at the same time.

    “Wait hold up, what did I lie about?” He was in complete confusion.

    “I saw it, Changbin. You and her at the garden. How could you let her make a move on you like that.”

    His face showed that it wasn’t really clicking with him until he thought more about it.

    “Who did I let make a move on me? Minji? I was only helping her, Y/n. Please don’t misunderstand. The class was getting really loud and we needed a quieter place, so I asked the instructor if it would be fine if me and her went somewhere else.”

    “So you just let her be all up on you like that? She was clearly hitting on you, Changbin. How do you not see it?” School was no place to be emotional, but here you were, bawling like a little baby at the entrance of the school as Changbin tries to comfort you. You guys definitely weren’t getting weird stares. Nope.

    “I-I’m sorry. I didn’t know you thought of it like that. Cause I didn’t. I just thought of her as another student that needed help. I’m sorry Y/n, if I made you uncomfortable. I didn’t do it on purpose I swear, because in my mind, there’s no one else but you. I know I like to boast all the time but I only do it as a joke because you seem to like it. I would never in a million year think of hurting your feelings. Hundreds of other girls could give me attention or like me, but none of them matters if they’re not you. I only love you, Y/n.”

    His words made you immediately stopped sobbing as if your broken heart has been patched up.

    “R-really? You mean it?” You pout.

    “Of course, silly. I would never think about being with someone else but you. Never.” He leveled your face with his.

    “I’m sorry I didn’t trust you. Just seeing another girl being intimate with you kind of tugged something in me.” you awkwardly chuckled.

    “Aww. My baby was jealous. Not going to lie, you’re kind of cute when you’re upset,” He teased you.

    “Changbin!” you slapped his shoulder in retaliation.

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Hyunjin

    Between the both of you guys, Hyunjin had always been the one who had the upper hand in almost everything when it came to catching others attention. Anything ranging from looks, to talent, or even intelligence, you can admit he’s got it better than you do.

    Going out to public places, you quickly got used to getting stares from other girls or even old Aunties who would comment on how good looking your boyfriend was, and how lucky you were to have him. They weren’t wrong, you were of course very lucky to have someone like Hyunjin who was definitely way too good for you. You didn’t take it to heart very much that other girls have eyes for him the way you do, because he’s made it distinctly known that he only saw you. Jealousy in the relationship was a bigger problem for you than for him at the beginning, because compared to him, you were not as sought after.

    The whole duration of your guys relationship, he never had to deal with any actual threat or competition that he could possibly lose you, or that you would find someone else more intriguing than him because he was always accustomed to you having your whole attention toward him whenever he was in the room. So that was why when the opportunity finally present itself, he found himself developing a sort of ill feeling that he wasn’t familiar with. A feeling that left a bitter taste in his mouth, one that turned his vision red when he wasn’t a violent person in the first place.

    You had been talking about this friend all week, reminiscing the past to Hyunjin about all the crazy things you and this friend did back in the days. Hyunjin being the amazing boyfriend he usually is, was very supportive of course. You haven’t seen this friend in years ever since his family moved away to another city.

    He called you a few days ago to let you know he’ll be back in Seoul, visiting for a few days and wanted to catch up. How could you let this chance pass by. The person that was there for you when you had your darker days, the person that ran miles through the rain when you needed him, there’s no way you would say no.

    Hyunjin was more than happy to accompany you to the Mall although you did assure him he didn’t have to, as you didn’t want to bother him if he had plans, but he was persistent he wanted to meet your friend and get to know one another. Since he agreed to everything, you thought might as well introduce them to each other.

    But Hyunjin’s cheerful and optimistic aura rapidly changed into a stinging one when your friend ran up to you with a hug, and oh boy did your friend looked nothing like Hyunjin had drew in his head. In his head, he was a she. The person that was arms deep within your hug didn’t have long flowing hair, nor did he looked very feminine like he had pictured. He was growing some kind of hatred for this stranger that he barely even knew, and it was only solidified more when you would get so engaged in conversation with your friend, you would forget for a moment Hyunjin was even there. 

    The way you laughed at his jokes mirrored how you would exactly react to Hyunjin’s whenever he said something funny. He hated how your friend would sometimes pull you so close to him and you would just go along with it. Hyunjin literally felt invisible. This friend of yours managed to shrink you and Hyunjin’s year long relationship into what felt like you both only knew each other for weeks. Hyunjin could tell just by his body languages and actions that this friend knew you for years. And then he just felt like nothing. Hyunjin was nothing compared to this friend of yours, and he was mad at himself, mad at you, mad at him, mad at everything.

    He was so tangled up in his own train of thoughts that he hadn’t even realized you have been trying to call him.

    “Hyunjin!” you pinched his arm not too hard.

    “Oh I’m sorry, what.”

    “Do you want ice cream?” You asked him.

    “I’m good no thank you,” He answered completely uninterested.

    “But you love ice cream, Hyunjin. Are you sure?” you tried to get a confirmation just one last time.

    “Yes, I am sure.” He rolled his eyes as if he’s being pestered by an annoying bug. It wasn’t what he said but it was the way he said it. He was giving you attitude and you didn’t like it at all.

    “Okay geez, just a no would’ve done.” you frowned.

    Hyunjin has his days, but he’s usually self composed when it came to your friends. He had always been nice and pretty kind if someone was close to you since you were his girlfriend, but he was different today. He was hushed and soundless, not at all like the Hyunjin you knew.

    “What flavor would you like, Y/n?” Sanghyun, your friend asked.

    “Mhmm. Any flavor will do.”

    “I’ll get mint for the both of us then, if that’s fine with you.” Sanghyun looked for an answer in your eyes.

    “Yeah, that’s fine.” You nodded.

    You were not too cool with the flavor but you haven’t seen your friend in a while and it wouldn’t hurt to just take it this one time, for him. It didn’t bother you too much that he might’ve forgotten. It’s been a while.

    Hyunjin was beyond confusion. For as long as he knew you, you hated mint. Absolutely refused to eat it whenever he took you out, and now all of a sudden you’re fine with it? For him?

    “But I thought you hate mint. So what? You suddenly like it now because he suggested it?” Hyunjin fired, as if he was ridiculing you.

    For a second you thought you forgot to clean your ears, because you refuse to acknowledge that Hyunjin was actually trying to cause a scene right now, in the mall, with your friend by your side, in front of all these people.

    “What’s up with you today, Hyunjin. Giving me an attitude when I asked a simple question and now this? If you have a problem, you can tell me. No need to make a scene,” you scolded him, utterly embarrassed by your boyfriend’s action.

    Sanghyun looked terrified down to his toes just glaring you guys down.

    “Fine, I’ll tell you what my problem is.” And without your consent, Hyunjin somehow managed to drag you all the way to the parking lot against your protest.

    “Let go, Hyunjin!” you threw his hold off of you.

    “What the hell is your problem? You made me look like an absolutely fool back there. How do you think Sanghyun feels now, seeing how much of an asshat my boyfriend is acting after all those stories I told him about how you’re the most kind and caring person ever,” you raised your voice, too irritated at this point to even care if anyone heard you.

    “Well, I probably wouldn’t be acting like this in the first place if you had made it clearer that your friend was a freaking guy.”

    “Really, Hyunjin. Is this what it’s about? That my friend is a guy? That’s it? I’m sorry but, if you’re going to act childish and jealous because you can’t handle me being friends with the opposite gender, then that’s your problem. Not mine. Besides, we don’t even like each other like that. He was one of my only friend back when I had nobody. He was there for me when no one else was. I don’t see anything else in him but the same guy back then who was like a best friend to me.”

    You had hope you knocked some sense into him. Your tone turning from furious to more serious.

    “I don’t care if he was your friend from back then or whatever. You have me now. I don’t like the way he looks at you, or act around you. I never act like that around any other females.”

    You were this close. This close to just straight punching him and running him over with his own car. The person you were talking to right now and yesterday was the difference between day and night. You think that might’ve been the shittiest thing Hyunjin has ever said since you’ve known him and you were denying it yourself that it came out of his mouth.

    “Oh go cry me a river, Hyunjin! When I was telling you the details of my past friendship before you even knew the gender, you were rooting for me, but now that you know it’s a guy you’re all of a sudden acting like a little bitch? Why does it matter whether it’s a guy or a girl?” You questioned his integrity, but most of all, you were just in disbelief.

    “Fine, whatever. Suit yourself.” He sarcastically threw his hands up in the air in defeat and drove away without final words from you. Unfuckingbelievable. He was like a little child throwing a tantrum because he didn’t get what he wanted.

    You didn’t want to leave Sanghyun hanging, but if you were to be frank, Hyunjin totally killed all the good vibes within you and left you with no motivation or energy to do anything else. You made way back to the ice cream court and simply apologized to Sanghyun on yours and Hyunjin’s behalf. He didn’t mind too much and only wished you luck on the relationship. It was a bummer that he was leaving tomorrow already and the only day he was free to spend it with you, your man child “boyfriend” had to go and ruin it all.

    When you entered the lonely atmosphere of your hollowed apartment, Hyunjin’s well being did crossed your mind because he was notorious for being quite stupid, always acting on his feelings whenever he was upset. You never had to worry too much before though because it was only on rare occasions where his head would be so far up his ass, but you knew this time was one of those occasion. But you were mad at him as well. Never in a million years could you picture him ever saying those nasty things.

    You settled down on the couch and eventually put your mind and body to rest. Today’s been a long day and you needed that nap more than anything. You had called Jeongin and Chan to notify them of what happened and to keep an eye out for Hyunjin in case, before closing your eyes and seeing black.

    When you were finally conscious enough, the only thing that made its existence clear, was the sound of traffic outside your window. You may have overslept just a tiny bit. Rubbing your eyes to get a better view of your surroundings, you felt a weight on you as you struggled to get up. Turning towards your left, you found Hyunjin completely knocked out and slouched against you with his head on your shoulder and his arms around your waist. Right, Hyunjin had a spare key to your apartment.

    He looked like an absolute angel that fell from heaven, almost as great as the day he conquered your heart. He was adorable and quite resembles a puppy when he’s not spurting all those hateful words. You needed to use the restroom bad so you made an effort to untangle him off of you but just as you were about to get up, a strong force wrapped you back down. 

    “Ahhh! I thought you were asleep.” you faced him with bulging eyes.

    “I was.” He calmly replied, his arms still around you.

    “Bummer. I like it when you’re peaceful and not so angry. You are cuter that way,” you purposely jabbed.

    “I’m sorry. I really am. I wasn’t thinking at the moment and just acted on emotions. I’m really sorry y/n. I was angry when I drove off but when I got home, I just kept thinking and thinking and the more I thought, the stupider I realize I was... please forgive me.” he pouted and rested his head on your shoulder.

    “Oh you big baby. Don’t try to bribe me with your cuteness now. You made Sanghyun scare of you and today was his only free day to catch up,” you scolded him as you pinched his cheeks.

    “I won’t ever do that again, I swear. I’ll be better next time. I was just... jealous when I saw another guy acting close to you. It makes me scare that I’m going to lose you. I know I was wrong. But I just want you to know I’m sorry.” He said it softly but also with shame.

    “Oh dear. There’s nobody else I love more than you. If anything, I should be the one scared to lose you.”

    “I only love you, y/n.” He looked into your eyes and did that little smile that always makes your heart weak. The one where his dimples would pop out.

    “I love you too, Hyunjin. Now let me go, I need to pee.”

----------------------------------------------

SORRY I GOT CARRIED AWAY WITH HYUNJIN’S. anyways.

Part 2 for the remaining members coming soon

[hanyaksha]

「call you mine」 xiao x f!reader 18+

genre: smut

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT 18+ ONLY !

includes: fingering, creampie, top xiao/dom!xiao, wet and messy

summary: it takes a lot to catch the attention of an adepti - especially Xiao. Although still confused by the unfamilliar feeling, he's got his eyes on her around Liyue or Wangshu Inn.

'There she goes again', Xiao thought as he saw you strutting just outside Wangshu Inn, bowing repeatedly to say your apologies to the person you accidentally bumped into. You were running and seemed to be in a hurry when suddenly this man blocked the road you were speeding in, causing you and him to clash. Xiao doesn't normally care about mortal lives, it just so happened that whenever he decided to rest outside the terrace of Wangshu Inn you would always be somewhere outside catching his attention. You're either running around in a hurry or working your ass off trying to make a living by selling sweets and delicacies that somehow became the favorite place for kids around town to visit.

'how clumsy. human lives really are fragile.' he unconsciously thought to himself as he continues to watch from a distance. He saw how you laughed it off with the man you accidentally bumped, how it was easy for you to smile and radiate a warm aura. In his eyes you looked pure. Xiao compared himself to you and scowled at the thought that he could never be someone like you. He feels his chest tighten as he gets reminded of his own demons, his past and all of those who he slaughtered with his own hands, the bloodbath forever painted in his memory. Frowning, he sighed and decided to shrug the ugly feeling off. His eyes wandered around, unconsciously trying to look for your familiar aura only to find you gone from the last spot he saw you standing. With nothing else to do, he kept searching until he caught a glimpse of you from a distance near Dihua Marsh, gliding around with Venti as he creates wind currents for both of you to fly on.

'ah, the bard' he thought. You two were having fun and he can tell you're enjoying yourself just by the look of how you laughed. Xiao felt calm watching you simply being you. Even if it's from a distance, a part of him craved for that warmth somewhere close to him. He wondered what it would feel if someone like you would share that to someone as tainted as him. Xiao glowered when he realized that he was longing for a human. He stopped himself from thinking any more than that. There was no need for you to be involved with the likes of him, it would only make him feel worse knowing that he would be of no good to you. He didn't want your pure glow and warmth to fade away because of him. Xiao sighed and decided to walk back in the inn where he would rather rest to keep your memory out of his head. He had known you for quite sometime now, despite it being from a distance it was surprising that he felt like he had met you. It wasn't difficult for him to somehow feel comfortable seeing your presence outside the Inn. He loved the way your clothes would flow against your body, how your skin looks soft under the sunlit sky. You looked ethereal, he simply adores that and is unknowingly thirsty to get a taste of your gentle touch. Despite refusing to involve himself to mortals he still grew a liking to you, making you an exception. He convinced himself that he doesn't have any time to meddle with a human's life yet his thoughts and actions contradicts this. He feels like he's about to lose his mind as scenarios of you and him fill it up. Xiao leaned back to his chair, throwing his head back as he massages the bridge of his nose. He looked like he couldn't bear to think more of you or he'll go insane. It wasn't enough to just simply think of you - he wanted your presence, he wanted it near and he wanted it now.

Xiao growled and glared at the wall. Standing up, he went out of the Inn. He decided to just come get you himself. He realized how long he was lost in his thoughts when he noticed the moonlight outside. He didn't mind it and just continued to venture out in search of your familiar scent and aura, hoping he'll catch a glimpse of you somewhere near. It didn't take long until he saw you close on a cliff just outside the parameters of the Inn, desperately trying to reach out to the violetgrass you were trying to harvest. Xiao stayed hidden in the branches of a tall tree, hesitating and rethinking his actions because he was unsure of how to interact with you. He was worried he would just scare you away since he was, after all, a vigilant yaksha adeptus. He noticed you struggling to take a hold of the particular flower so he decided to take matters in his own hands and to just help you with it. Xiao leaped and swiftly took it as he landed beside you to hand it over. Surprised by how fast everything went by, you stared at the man in front of you, his golden honey eyes glimmered from the soft light of the full moon added by the glow of the Wangshu Inn from a distance made everything perfect. He was breathtaking, you felt your heart pounding as you reached out to take the flower from his hand. You knew who he was, mainly because you would often hang out with Venti to ask about him. There was something about this adepti that made you want to learn more about who he was. People in Liyue says that he rarely shows himself, even during the Lantern Rite Festival you find yourself hoping for him to come out. And now lo and behold, he's right in front of you - the man you have always hoped to meet.

"thank you," you gave him a slight bow to show your gratitude for his help. You were also extremely worried that he might hear the loud beating of your heart because of how quiet the night was. "it's dangerous to be out here at this time." He said, his voice as cold as the wind blowing. You smiled and chuckled at him before you replied "my bad, I wanted to help out Baizhu because he needed some Violetgrasses. They ran out of it and I couldn't let Qiqi do it herself" you feel Xiao's gaze piercing at you so you look down and felt a shiver ran down your spine everytime the wind blowed. You didn't know what he was thinking, he's unpredictable. His gaze didn't show a hint of what was on his mind. "you're cold. come." your face immediately flared up when he reached out his arm around your waist to pull you closer to him. The butterflies in your stomach went crazy when you felt your bodies touch. Xiao summoned his primordial jade spear as he tightly held you close, you felt a sharp cold all over your skin as you closed your eyes and the next thing you know, both of you are at where it seems to be like the Wangshu Inn. The view was amazing from Xiao's quarters, you can see Mt. Qingce and Jueyun Karst far in the distance under the night sky. He was standing right beside you, an arm still around your waist and as you're busy admiring the view outside, Xiao was preoccupied studying your features. He thought your hair smelled nice, and that the shape of your body fit right in his arms. It was amazing how he made you feel so comfortable despite just meeting each other.

"you feel familiar... and your warmth, I'm drawn to it." he says with a straight yet calm voice. Xiao was doing his best to stop himself from just throwing you on the bed and be one with you. As much as he wants that, he wouldn't want you to feel unsafe around him. He didn't want to hurt you either because he knows what his strength is capable of. Blood rushed to your face as embarrassment seeped in by hearing his words. Maybe it was because he felt the same way as you did that caused an uproar to the butterflies in your stomach. Still quietly standing there, you were unsure of what to do. You were cautious that your actions might come off as rude or disrespectful to an adeptus like him. He studied your expression and slowly turned to look away and fixed his gaze on the painting to his right instead. "are you afraid?... do I scare you?" he calmly asked. It was almost as if he was ashamed of himself in which you immediately denied to. "of course not! It's just that I want to be closer to you but I'm afraid I'll make you feel uncomfortable. I really am happy to be here." you tried to reach out to touch him but decided to stop in your tracks, your hand left hanging in the air. A part of you wanted to comfort him, to close that gap between the two of you but at the same time you didn't want to cross his boundaries. Xiao didn't know what to feel, it has been a while since he felt happy and he thought he almost forgot this type of emotion. He's very new to this kind of thing, he hasn't done this to any other woman besides you so he although he didn't want to admit felt slightly embarrassed about opening himself up to you. Xiao fixed his gaze to meet your eyes, his honey orbs shining in the moonlight leaving you mesmerized by his beauty. He was breahtaking and you could feel his eyes burning holes in your body. It was as if he wanted to say something but just couldn't--just hoping you would get the memo through eye contact. Xiao broke the tension to look at your hand still in the air. You noticed him staring and as you were about to place it back down he caught it with his own and laced his fingers into yours. Embarrassment started to wash all over you. You wanted to yank your hand back but you knew you'll immediately miss his touch if you do so. Unconsciously you bit your lip to stop your face from turning into a complete replica of a tomato. Seeing that sight of you drove Xiao crazy, the eagerness to be closer with you grew faster as every second passes by. Xiao isn't usually the type to be the first to make a move but he yearned for you so much until he could no longer take it. He acted without thinking twice and went in for a kiss, his hands slowly going up to cup the back of your head to pull you closer. You were surprised but you soon didn't have the time to care about it because of how easily you got drunk by his kisses. It was obvious Xiao didn't have much experience in this, his kisses were sloppy but at the same time it was gentle. It was slow and he took the time to explore your mouth as his tongue slipped in. Your knees trembled as the tension around the two of you grew, any further than this might make your legs give in. You clinged on to him as your knees felt jelly, Xiao groaning in the process in response to your sudden shift of movement.

Hearing him groan was the cherry on top for you to go insane. It was too much and you feel your body heating up as both of you grew more needy of each other's touch. With one hand cupping the back of your head, Xiao placed his other on your waist to pull you closer. Your bodies touched as he continues to make out with you, he pulled you in so close that your boobs are all pressed up against him. You groaned when you felt his boner, driving Xiao crazy when he too felt stimulated. "mhm," he moaned, hand gripping tighter on your waist. You were so close that you can't help but grind on his hardened member while both of you moaned in each other's kisses. Xiao held on to your thighs, pulling it up to carry you. You felt his dick graze on your clothed pussy, the friction making you dripping wet. Xiao carried you and laid you on his soft bed, making sure that your head would be supported by a pillow underneath. He was caring despite his hungry kisses and you blushed at the thought of him being thoughtful for your well being. Xiao didn't waste any time after he laid you in bed, he reached out for your clothes and slowly stripped you out of each garment, planting hickeys here and there as his hands traveled on your sensitive body. "mhm... Xiao...more.. please--hngh" you tried to beg only to be cut off by your own moan when Xiao decided to place his lips on your nipple, his free hand groping the other. "be a patient good girl for me." he cooed. Xiao was emitting such lewd sounds as he sucked on your nipple, his other hand slowly making its way down to your already wet cunt, his fingers kneading slow circles on your folds. You squirmed and moaned underneath him, your knees folded and closed due to the sensation. "how sensitive.. so pretty." Xiao nibbled on your lips before using his hand to pull your knees apart to allow him to move his fingers easier. He wanted you wide open for him, all stretched out for him so he can feel you dripping for him. You arched your back when you feel him press his digits on the folds of your pussy, slowly prodding on the entrance while his thumb was kneading on your budding clit. You tightened around his fingers, each move heating you up as you craved for more. Xiao kept planting hickeys around your breasts, occasionally sucking and licking on your nipple while his fingers played with your pretty little cunt.

"hngh... want you.. Xiao--ngh" you begged. Any more of his stimulation might make you cum, especially when he knew exactly where to touch you down there. Xiao ignored your plea, still insisting on teasing you. He liked the idea of being in control and having you weak for him with your mouth open while you moan, eyes shut, hands gripping on his hair and back arched while your pussy is being played. He used slow motions to play with your folds and the insides of you, making sure that he touches the right spots to send shivers down your legs. "no.. ngh.. Xiao.. faster--please" you pleaded breathlessly. But Xiao was strict and stubborn to his actions and instead of obeying to your wishes, he switched from sucking on your nipple to nibbling on your ear. "so needy." he whispered as he curled his fingers inside you and made small circles on the walls of your pussy. You were a moaning mess, he hit your g-spot so good that you tightened around him. You feel it building up inside you, if he keeps going any further you might just come on his hand right then and there. Xiao used his two digits to spread and carress the walls of your pussy, giving you no choice but to just moan harder to the sensation. "Xiao--nnghh I might.. I--" Xiao cut you off, his lips shutting you up as he kissed you torridly.

"Not yet." his voice was stern and strict. It felt more like an order that you had to obey or else you'll face consequences should you wish to disobey him. He pulled out his fingers before you reached your limit. You feel your cunt throbbing, eagerly craving for him to fill you up. Xiao sat back to strip himself, his hands finding its way to grip on your knees to keep it wide open for him. You took a good glimpse of his cock, tip already dripping with precum. You wanted it in so bad. Xiao wasted no time and began to grind the tip of his member on your clit, making sure that his dick is coated by the juices of your wet pussy. Your moans echoed in his room, he was teasing you and he did it nice and slow, making you more and more impatient. You wanted to beg, to make him hear your pleas but you did your best to remain patient and do as he ordered. After a while of more teasing, he loomed over you. His hair was falling on his face as he prompted himself over you and you swore the sight could make any woman in Teyvat lose their sanity.

"good girl." he burrowed his face in the crook of your neck and planted soft kisses on it, his hands carressing your torso and groping your breasts all while at the same time making you feel the tip of his cock enter your pussy. You were so wet and it wasn't even his whole dick inside you yet, the stimulation just drove you insane and knowing that it was Xiao fucking you was enough to turn you into a moaning hot mess. You feel the tip slip in and you arched your back as you moaned. He was all over your body, making sure that his hands and lips were planted on your skin so you don't forget his warmth. He kept teasing, only letting the tip in and grinding it in the entrance of your dripping cunt. "hngnh.. Xiao.. please--ughn, I want it.. in-" It was this familiar feeling again. Any more of his teasing and you might just come. It was just too good and a big part of you just wanted his whole thing stuffed in you. "hmm.. so impatient." he cooed, his lips brushing on your neck and all the way down to your shoulder. He planted one last kiss on you before sitting back up, his hands now gripping on your knees to spread them wide. He took his member out and held it, using the tip to gather the slick dripping from your cunt before shoving his whole dick in. Moans were the only thing escaping from your lips, head filling in with ecstasy as Xiao pounds his cock in you. He was going in so fast and deep, the curve of his cock grinding on the pulsating tight walls of your wet needy pussy.

"ngh..." his moans were a major turn on and you paired it up with your own sets of moans too, making it the only sound being heard in the room other than the sound of skin slapping from being fucked hard by an adeptus. The pounding of his cock inside you was enough to bring you to cloud9. You reached out to his arms and hugged him close, your fingers digging on his back as his thrusts grew faster. The built up orgasm you had from all his teasing earlier was coming back again but you paid no mind to it and continued moaning. "oh! Xiao... there.. deeper---there!" he went in much closer to you, face buried beside your neck while his hands travelled down to grip on your butt, raising it up a little so he could hit the deepest parts of you better. His cock prodded on your walls that was now tightening up more than before. You were so good around his member, your pussy enveloping every part of his throbbing dick inside you.

"Xiao.. coming.. hnngg--" you wrapped your legs around him to pull him closer, wanting every inch of him go deeper as you neared your orgasm. "Go on. Come for me." he said it with his raspy panting voice right in your ear and licked it as he rammed his cock in a slower but deeper pace. Once again you were a moaning mess, helplessly calling out his name in between moans. You spasmed as you came, toes curling in and your fingers drawing lines on his back as you digged them in his skin. He let out the sexiest moan as you feel his load being shot inside you, deliciously filling you up and the rest dripping out at the entrance of your creaming pussy along with your own cum.

You lay there breathlessly under him, your head still high up in the clouds. You feel him panting beside you and he proceeded to hug you as he rolled over to the side, not minding that his cock was still stuffed inside you. You liked the sloppy feeling of your pussy dripping with his cum and his dick coated by the creamy walls of your hot cunt.

You hugged him back, snuggling in close to him and slowly drifting to sleep. You felt him kiss your forehead after a while and his hand cupped the back of your head to pull you closer to his chest. You had the sweetest dream that night and you couldn't be any more happier than knowing that you were wrapped in his arms during your sleep.

「hanyaksha © 2021」 all content belongs to me. please do not modify, edit, or repost.

[justmidnightthougts]

Unexpected// Kenma x reader

Pairing: Kozume Kenma x reader

Word count: 3014

Warning: fluff and angst

Summary: Kenma knew that life could be unexpected, he only wished that he was prepared for the ending...

a/n: It’s been a while since I wrote something, but this has been in my head for a while so here it is!

masterlist: here

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Unexpected.

That's the explanation Kenma had for everything that happened last year.

It was unexpected that he met you that one day.

**

It was a Monday morning; spring was coming to an end and summer was approaching. The temperatures started getting warmer and the sky clearer. School had started around two months ago, and students were already wishing for the end of the year to approach.

"Good morning class," Kenma's homeschool teacher said as she walked in, everyone went to their seats and settled down. Kenma was already seated, just as usual playing on his game console before the teacher had entered. He was tired since he decided to stay up late, as usual, a choice that he regrets every morning yet can't help making it every time. "Today," his teacher started, "we will have a new student joining us. Please treat them well." As if on cue, the door opened, showing the new student, you.

Kenma looked up and watched as you went to the front, standing in front of the class and bowing your head, speaking: "Hello, my name is Y/N L/N, nice to meet you. Please treat me well," you ended with a smile on your face. The face that Kenma had been observing since the moment you walked in, concluded you weren't nervous, but excited. "Thank you, Y/N, you can sit down next to Kenma. Kenma, please put your hand in the air, so they know who you are," the teacher said with a smile, yet a tone that wouldn't appreciate disapproval.

He sighed, raising his hand slowly in the air while he looked down at his desk. He hated being in the center of attention, so doing this was out of his comfort zone. Furthermore, he kept looking down, hearing those footsteps nearing his desk. Kenma lowered his hands, praying to God that you won't start talking to him. Glancing towards the side, he watched as you pulled your chair back and sat down, placing your bag next to your desk before taking your supplies out, staying silent the whole time. He let out a sigh of relief, realizing that he doesn't have to talk to you, at least not yet.

This will be a promising year...

**

It was unexpected how easily he became intrigued by you.

**

One month has passed since you arrived at Nekoma, and Kenma watched as you slowly made a small group of friends over the month. Not just a normal group of friends, no. Your friends consisted of those who were considered "weird" or "not worth their time" by other students of their year. What they didn't know was that -during lunch- you would fall on your side from laughing as you talked with your friends, discussing everything and anything with great excitement. He couldn't hear what you were talking about from the gym doors every time he took a break from practice, but he loved to hear you laugh.

He also noticed your subtle ways of trying to become friends. By slipping notes towards him during classes. The notes weren't the like the notes someone would usually slip through. Normally, notes like that start with a "hi" on them or some other greeting, but these notes didn't. The first note you slipped through was with the question: "is it okay with you if I write you notes?". Not what you would expect, but he did appreciate it since you gave him the chance to decline if he felt uncomfortable. He answered: "yes" to the note, and from then onwards the two of you have been slipping notes to one another. The majority of the time, your notes were related to the classes that you had together. Whether he understood it or not, or if he knew the answer to a question.

Days passed, and passing notes became a routine in his life. In the morning, he already looked forward to seeing those notes with your identical handwriting. From time to time, he would be the one starting a conversation (not that it happens a lot). Though, he always found it worth doing, since those times are the times that he got that one smile from you. That smile that set off a weird feeling in his stomach. What that feeling was, was still a question to him, but he didn't hate it one bit. On the contrary, he wished to experience more and find out what it exactly was.

Through those notes he got to know you better. He found out that you moved from a little town in Japan to Tokyo because of a private matter. He also found out that you loved watching anime and playing games. That piece of information made him happy, knowing that he could talk with someone about his favorite games and maybe play together.

**

It was unexpected that you came to him for help.

**

"Kenma!" Kuroo yelled as Kenma was hiding once again from the volleyball practice during lunch. He just wanted to play one game, just one. Kenma let out a long sigh as he got up from his hiding spot. "I'm coming," he said, making his way over to the court, sloughing over the gym floor. He really loved his best friend, he really did, but sometimes he wished for him to just disappear, so he can play his games. "You really need to stop hiding, Kenma," Kuroo looked at him, "or at least find better hiding spots." Kenma rolled his eyes and just ignored him, and looked at the other side of the net, wanting this to be over already.

Just like he wished, practice went by smoothly. The team was cleaning the gym when the doors suddenly opened, startling a few of them. Kenma looked up towards the door and was surprised to see you there, panting as if you just ran all the way here. He flinched when your eyes fell on him, and there was that smile again. His stomach did a flip at that, flipping more when you made your way towards him. "Kenma," you started, "sorry for bothering practice, but um I had a question." He nodded, waiting for your question. "Well, I had some difficulties with the subject we learned in class today, and since you seemed to understand it, I hoped that you could explain it to me. If you don't mind, of course," you asked him while gently fidgeting with your fingers.

He just stood there, looking at you. He knew you had difficulties with that subject, but he was surprised that you asked him for help. He soon realized that he had been staring at you and nodded softly. "Yeah, I can help you with that. We can go to my house after school," he said softly with his small smile. Your eyes lit up at that and you smile happily: "Thank you Kenma, you are my savior! I'll come here after your practice then!" You waved at him and then walked away, leaving him to suffer under the stares of his teammates. Cleaning will take a while longer now.

The day passed by slowly, until finally the whistle, signaling the end of practice, was heard. He helped his team with cleaning the gym, excitement running through his body at the thought of spending time with you. Walking to the changing room, he avoided Kuroo's pained gaze. "Why are you letting me walk alone Kenma!" Kuroo whined while changing his clothes. Kenma groaned softly as he changed out of his shirt. "Because I don't want you to annoy Y/N with your chemistry jokes," he said with a glare at Kuroo. Kuroo made a hurt sound at that, huffing and crossing his arm, acting hurt by his comment. The team changed quickly, exhausted from practice, and wishing to go home. They exited the room and Kenma immediately spotted you, as if you were metal and he was the magnet searching for you.

After bidding his team goodbye, he made his way over to you, who had just spotted him. "Hey, Kenma! Are you still up for helping me or not?" You asked, slightly worried that maybe he was too tired from practice and was forcing himself to do this.

He nodded. "Yes of course," he placed his hand on his neck, "You came to me for help, it'd be rude if I back down now." You nodded, a smile grazing your lips as you looked at him. He was silent for a moment, just looking at your smile before realizing that had been staring. He coughed, "let's go now, otherwise it'll be late." He started making his way to his house, you are walking next to him. There was a comfortable silence present in the walk. One that he enjoyed. If being with you also means having comfortable silences, then he wouldn't mind being with you more.

The evening went by quickly. Kenma helped you with your difficulties. You found that he was rather patient, even if you messed up many times. The evening ended with playing games together until you had to leave. He found it to be a succeeded evening.

That was the start of a new routine. Whenever one of you didn't understand a subject, you would ask the other to explain it.

**

It was unexpected how easy he loved you...

**

Months passed, and he found himself falling in love with you, though he didn't notice it immediately. He realized it one day when he was feeling rather down, but as soon as he got a message from you, he felt better. It was then he knew that he liked you. And not a little. He didn't deny it, though he was afraid. Did you feel the same, or was it one-sided interest? He decided not to dwell on it too much, telling himself to keep it a secret from you, for now at least.

It didn't stay a secret for too long. He should've known that you were as observant as him. On a Wednesday after school, when you were together at his house, studying, you decided to break the ice with an unexpected question. "Kenma, do you like me?" you asked with a serious face. He froze in his place, keeping his eyes on his notebook. He sighed and nodded, moving his eyes towards you, "yes, I like you. Love you even." He did it, he said what he felt, and he didn't know how to feel about it. Will you laugh at him, saying that he shouldn't feel that? He waited anxiously. However, it never came. You just smiled at him, beaming even. "I love you too Kenma, I have loved you for a while now. I just was a little scared to say it, I didn't want to mess up our friendship," you rubbed your neck, your smile still on your face.

He couldn't believe what you just said. You loved him too? After all this time he had been stressed, you loved him too. "You really do?" he asked, just to be sure. You nodded, "yes, I really do. So, would you be my boyfriend?" He nodded, the biggest smile he ever had on his face as you shared a hug. Nothing could make him happier.

Nothing much changed after that, except for the loving gazes you both would send each other during class. The fact that you held hands when you walked home together, or the dates you had at an arcade or your favorite café. Though it didn't matter to him what you did on a date, if he could spend his time together with you, he was happy. The silence when you worked or the excitement when you played a game, were moments he held close to his heart.

You also met the volleyball team. You got along with them very well from the start. He also loved that about you. One moment you could be quiet and just do your own thing, but you could also be very extrovert and easily have a conversation with people that you liked. He knew that he would become old with you and marry each other in the future. It may be early to think that, but he is sure that he doesn't want it any other way.

He felt invincible next to you.

**

And how easy he lost you...

**

"What..." Kenma froze in his place. The teacher looked down, "yesterday...," a deep breath," yesterday, Y/N passed away in the hospital. Apparently, she had a life-threatening illness. Her funeral is this Friday." His world stopped. He raised his hand, asking if he could be excused. The teacher nodded. It was no secret how much Kenma loved you, everyone knew that. The way his stoic expression went away when you were near him. Everyone saw that. The moment he got permission, he left the room, running to the bathroom. Locking himself in a stall, he fell on the ground, looking at his hands, tears flowing down his cheeks.

Did you know that you were going to die? If so, why didn't you tell him? You probably didn't know it, right? Yes, that must've been it. He kept repeating those words, trying to believe them. However, it didn't work. Even when he tried so hard, he couldn't believe his own words. He had seen you getting worse with each passing day. The dark circles under your eyes, how thin you were. He thought that it was because of the stress from school...he was wrong. You were slowly dying in front of his eyes, and he hadn't even known.

Still, why didn't you tell him? Then he would've spent more time with you. Maybe you didn't know how to tell him? No, that wasn't true. He knew that you had a reason. You didn't want everyone to look at you with pity in their eyes, you didn't want them to treat you differently from others. You wanted to forget that haunting truth. That thought caused him to cry even more. He hunched over and covered his mouth, sobs escaping his mouth. He stayed like that for who knows how long. There wasn't a single tear left to spill. His voice was hoarse and his eyes red.

Days, which felt like years, passed and it was your funeral. The whole school was present, together with your family members. Some were crying, others' tears had already been spilled earlier. Kenma was one of them. He promised himself not to cry. Not because he didn't want others to see him like that, but because he knew that you wouldn't want to see him crying.

He stood in front of your casket, looking at your smiling picture on top of it. He kissed the top of the casket gently, closing his eyes. How he wished to see you, not dead, but alive and well. Standing in front of him with that gentle smile and those loving eyes. He wondered...did it hurt? Dying? Were you wishing for it to be over quickly because you were in so much pain? Or was it painless? Did you accept death with open arms? Was there a smile on your face when you said your last goodbyes? He will never know, and maybe that is for the better. He knows he wouldn't be able to handle the truth.

When the funeral ended and the casket was under the ground, your parents approached him. He had met them the first time he came to your house to study. They were two kind and gentle people, who loved their child with their whole hearts. "Hello, Kenma," your mother said with a sad smile. He bowed his head as a way of greeting them, afraid that if he were to talk that he would start crying again. "Thank you for coming to their funeral, I'm sure they would've been happy," she said, and your father nodded, looking down. "Before Y/N passed away, they asked us to hand you this," he gave him a note, "we don't know what it says, but it seemed important to her." Kenma looked at the note and then back at him. "We will leave you alone now, please come by again to pay her respects sometimes," the mother smiled, and then they both left, leaving him alone in the graveyard. He opened the note, immediately recognizing your handwriting, and started reading.

"Hey, Kenma! If you are reading this, then that means my funeral has passed. It must've been shocking to receive the news about my passing. I'm sorry that I never told you about my illness. I'm sure you already know why I never told anyone. It's exactly as you think, I wanted to feel normal and healthy. My apologies again. Are you alright? Probably not, that was a stupid question, wasn't it?

"The reason I'd moved schools so late in the year, was because it was one of my last wishes. I've always wanted to attend Nekoma. Do you know what my other wish was? Finding love. And you granted that wish. I've never been happier with you. The moments we spent together have always been secured in my heart. I had high expectations for love, but you surpassed them. It was amazing. Though, I have one more wish, one that only you can grant. Are you willing to do it? I hope so. I want you to live free, don't let me hold you back. Continue living, don't forget me, but also don't stay in the past. Find love again, pass your goals, be happy. That is my very last wish, I hope you can grant it. That was everything I wanted to say. I will watch you from above. I love you so, so much. Sayonara, Kenma."

He fell to the ground, crying once again, holding the notes close to his heart. "I will try..." he cried, "I will try to grant your wish. Please keep watching over me, watch me grow. I love you! I miss you!" he closed his eyes and kept crying.

It'll be hard, but he will try to move on. If that means granting you your last wish, if that means that you can rest in peace, then he will do it.