#as traumatised but didn't react the same way

[holographicvoyager]

thinking about the parallel universe episodes of red dwarf deeply,,,

[milevenstancyendgame]

Eleven And Ableism

So I've been seeing recurring awful ableist views on El, all the way from old s1 posts to recent post-s4/s5-anticipating posts, and I won't have it.

People talking about El as though she was stupid. Because she barely spoke in s1, and in the following seasons still speaks like a child sometimes. Because she didn't learn a whole lot of things that children usually learn in our society, because she's lacking social knowledge.

This hurts me in a very personal way, because I have complex trauma too, with similar adaptations as El, and I've experienced the same discrimination, and still am experiencing it profoundly by the ableist welfare/medical system.

El doesn't talk much in s1, because she's traumatised, both in general, and freshly re-traumatised after being forced into the tank, encountering the demogorgon, opening the gate, fleeing the lab, seeing the first kind person to help her getting murdered, and then being bombarded with a ton of questions and unknown terms by a group of boys, the majority of whom don't seem very friendly towards her at first, but react to her like something abnormal/disgusting (wow, that's a lot) .

And she obviously was horribly abused during her whole childhood; objectified as a weapon and taught to not take up any space. She was just told what to do all the time. To only speak when spoken to.

She finds herself in a completely new environment full of strangers. Can you even imagine her level of fear, as a child who never was given any emotional safety, going outside for the first time and encountering strangers for the first time?

Of course, she doesn't talk much! Her whole life experience was a nightmare, why would she act like other kids?

Also, she has developmental arrest, meaning that due to the extremely unsafe surroundings she was born into, her brain couldn't develop as much and in the same way as that of other children, making her developmentally and emotionally younger than her physical age.

The crucial thing about human beings is that we need love to grow and thrive. Emotional connection creates new neural pathways in our brain. Learning is a social thing.

That is why she sometimes talks or behaves like an infant. Parts of her personality/brain are literally still that young.

Humans (and other animals) also do this thing called dissociation. It's a survival mechanism that makes you disconnect from your sensations and emotions (going internally numb).

Children who are repeatedly traumatised in infancy, rely heavily on dissociation, because a baby/toddler can't fight or run away.

A dissociative trauma response will paralyse (freeze) you or make you go limp (collapse). It also shuts down the verbal part of your brain (and other cognitive parts).

We see El going into freeze a lot in s1 when she's scared, but since it's fiction, it never lasts long, because there's no time.

And since El has been raised to be a weapon and therefore forced to fight, she taps into this trauma response frequently too.

All of this trauma-info-dump, just to give you a tiny glimpse of how incredibly intelligent El/her body/her brain is.

She went through all of this torture since she was a baby, no one loved her, and yet she survived, and yet she is still a whole person, a unique individual, a child who despite everything, is still capable of forming attachments and her capacity for love fully intact.

But people see a quiet/mute child, or a non-responsive child, and assume they are "stupid". I think it's pretty obvious who is the stupid one in this equation.

[iamstillovingyou]

I've been seeing a lot of dicourse about Kang Dae ho lying about his being in the marines and I don't think that he is lying but rather he has a complicated story with it and, as his ptsd would imply, trauma Spoilers for Squid Games season 2 from now on!!

- First of all, the tattoo Why does he have one? If he's a marine, it makes sense. If he isn't, why get it? Does he lie about it on a daily basis? Does he brag about it? When he got into the games he had no way of knowing whether his status as a marine was something which would benefit him in some way, so he hasn't got the tattoo shortly before the games - he voluntarily shares that he is also a marine, in order to bond with Jungbae; Dae ho lights up and joins him with pride that he is also a marine -however, later we can see him evading the topic or reluctantly talking about it and his father - I'd say that he's not lying about having been in the marines and even if he were, as someone pointed out (bless you), Korean men are legally required to go through military training, so even if Dae ho isn't a marine, he must know how to use a gun/rifle because he's had the training - now why does he react like that, as if he didn't know how to handle a weapon - what if, as he says, he joined the marines because of his father (he didn't wanna go, he was forced to) and hated it so much and was traumatised by it; what if something happened while he was there, he couldn't obey an order because of fear/morality or lost his comrades/friends etc. *remember he didn't wanna be there in the first place* which leaves him with ptsd *which is activated later when the shooting starts* so he leaves the marines - maybe at this point, his father is mad at him and basically kicks him out of the house and he is left alone without his family and he's gotten into a bad situation and that's how he joins the games - now, I saw someone saying why he joined up the uprising at all, maybe to keep up his lie or maybe because he thought that this was the right thing to do, he doesn't want to let his friends down, but when it got to the shooting he couldn't do it - there is a lot more nuance to it and I really don't understand all the hate towards him, calling him weak and a coward, as if any one of us would act differently when faced with life or death - also keep in mind that they were outnumbered anyway, even if Dae ho came back with the ammo, they wouldn't have achieved anything because of the front man??? Like are we even watching the same show? Also he technically saved player 120 from dying, so there's that

Also you can see that he flinched when player 120 approaches him, as if waiting to be hit, which might imply previous abuse and trauma

[chronicallyonline101]

How do you think la squadra would react to having a member similar to trish? Like a rich teen girl with an attitude problem?

OUUUUGGHHHHH THIS IS REALLY INTERESTING TO THINK ABOUT BECAUSE Trish was EXTREMELY lucky to have Bruno assigned as her caretaker. He didn't see her as a rich, spoilt brat, he saw her as what she was; a traumatised teenage girl that had been thrown into a situation WAY out of her depth, so while some members of his team treated her a bit harshly, they were kind to her because Bruno helped them understand her situation, and it was with his support that she was able to fully come into her own and grow confident with herself! I'm not sure if someone with a similar personality and upbringing would be treated the same way if they joined La Squadra... they may not be as understanding as Bruno was, and so, she wouldn't find herself in the same way Trish did!

BUT. THAT DOESNT MEAN SHE WOULDNT FIND HERSELF AT ALL - La Squadra aren't evil, they wouldn't just hate her. And I think this is a very interesting to explore SO more under the cut!

Platonic La Squadra Di Execuzioni + Rich Teen Girl with an attitude problem.

I think the first issue the team would have with her is NOT her attitude problem, but the fact that she is a teenager. A child should not be doing the things that they do; it's dangerous, it's traumatising, it's cruel to put someone so young through a situation like that. I think that members like Risotto, Pesci, Prosciutto, Formaggio and Melone would sympathise with her the most in this regard - especially Formaggio, Prosciutto and Melone, as I headcanon them as having joined Passione when they were rather young. It upsets them that Passione targets young, vulnerable individuals and it pisses them off to see another teenager going down the same route.

They probably go rather easy on her in this regard. She would go on less missions than them, and when she does go on a mission, she is accompanied by someone and that person is expected to carry the whole mission - which, when your a spoilt teen, you wouldn't really complain about.

One thing that should be made clear though, despite how much they sympathise with her that La Squadra would NOT take kindly to her spoilt behaviour; they are a team with very little to their name and most of them have never experienced the luxury and privilege that she would of had growing up. Illuso and Sorbet get along with her in this regard however; they'd use her bratty nature and the sympathy the others feel for her as a way to get what they want - "She said she wanted this shampoo, didn't you hear?" , "Get the expensive water, it tastes better, think of how upset her parents would be if they found out we were letting her taste poverty." , "She's going to cry, Prosciutto! Let her get what she wants!"

They aren't a good influence on her at all, because unlike Trish, who in the face of a dire situation learnt to get over her spoilt tendencies, this girl is getting rewarded for her attitude. Crying and lashing out has Prosciutto caving because he has too much of a headache to deal with that, yelling will have Risotto adhering because he hates loud noises, being mean and picking on people brings forth laughter from Formaggio, Illuso, Sorbet and Gelato and so she'll just get worse and worse - so, unlike Trish who got kinder and more confident as the series went on, this girl, in addition to getting more confident, gets meaner and ruder.

THIS, HOWEVER, IS HOW I THINK SHE WOULD COME INTO HER OWN. Trish developed Spice Girl because she needed to protect Giorno's Ladybug - the situation on her team was dire, if that Ladybug was destroyed then Golden Experience would become useless, which meant that Narancia and Mista couldn't be healed and the three of them would be out of commission permanently. She needed something to protect the people she cared for, and that is how her stand awakened. I think it would be the same for this girl, because even if they get frustrated over her behaviour, I think a genuine bond could form between them and so, when on a mission where she's left alone because the enemy has actually managed to take out whomever was taking care of her that day, I think she would establish herself as a competent hitman with her stand. And her selfless actions would show the team that she actually cares for them, as bratty as she can get, and it would solidify the familial dynamic that the group has for her.

ANYWAYS thats all my yapping... i hope this is similar to what you wanted!!! if not just send another and i'll try again!

[pharawee]

It's Friday Sunday, and that means it's time for more omegaverse shenanigans. 🥳

Sadly, this will be my last Pit Babe novel commentary post for a while because the main story only has 25 chapters. But worry not! Apparently there's a few extra chapters and if anything significant happens you'll be the first to know (but don't be surprised if it's just chapter upon chapter of kinky sex - that's just how Daddy and Papa Charlie and Babe roll).

If you want to catch up, you can find parts 1, 2, 3 & 4 here.

As for this part - expect major spoilers, shenanigans (both omegaverse and not), family reunions, family reunions... and fun card games. But more on that later.

For now, let's get back to Babe, who's apparently rich enough to own a white Ferrari. Show-off. He's currently on his way back to Khun Tony, and he's such a brat about it that he fools the guards into letting him through. Things escalate from there. Babe threatens to bring Tony to justice once and for all, to which Tony reacts with mild bemusement. He's no longer interested in Babe since he's lost his powers, and he even taunts him with Charlie's (supposed) death. No, Tony didn't want Charlie dead. He merely wanted to incapacitate him in order to bring him back home (because car accidents are such a precise science...). It's a pity that Charlie died but, really, at least he's free now. Or something.

This man must have stupid amounts of money to throw at all of his plans because, quite honestly, they're shit. Oh well, at least we know where Way learned his... well, unnecessarily long-winded (TEN YEARS!!) ways.

Babe has heard enough but sadly Kenta steps in before he can get his hands on Tony. This leads to more taunting and the appearance of Way, who casually slings Babe over his shoulder and forcibly removes him from the premises. Which leaves the guards like, "who tf even was that weirdo?" Oh, to be a guard in Khun Tony's employment...

(photoshop is my passion)

Meanwhile, Charlie (alive and, uh, relatively well) is still busy having his stolen powers exorcised by Babe's long-lost dad (the real one this time). The more he uses a particular ability, the longer it takes to meditate out of him. No, seriously, Reval and Charlie are basically just sitting in a room mind-palacing the powers away. Apparently it's very draining.

They also talk about Charlie's guilt, and how he believes it's best to stay away from Babe as not to hurt him again. Sure, he could leave the final decision to Babe but even that, he fears, might be selfish of him as that leaves Babe with the burden of having to decide in the first place. No matter what he does, it will cause Babe both happiness and pain - just like when Charlie's initial selfishness brought him closer to Babe and then almost drove him away entirely. Charlie's mind is going in circles. He's so protective of Babe that he doesn't realise - no matter his intentions, no matter his inaction - he can't untangle himself from the hurt he's already caused and will cause going forward.

Oh, and by the way? That moment when Charlie "died" in the hospital and Babe thought he was getting his powers back and had to listen in on every excruciating detail of Charlie's body shutting down? Yeah, turns out that was Charlie causing (mass) hallucinations and slowing down his body functions. Poor Alan had to go identify Charlie's body in the morgue while Babe was in such a bad way that he basically stopped functioning.

I've said this before and I'll say it again: what the hell, Charlie, you positively traumatised the poor boy. Could you maybe have kicked the bucket a little less dramatically? Did you really have to enact all of Babe's worst nightmares to make it more convincing? Just because you mean well (and didn't do it over the span of TEN YEARS for weird omegaverse breeding purposes) doesn't make it all right.

But more on that later.

Babe has made his way to a safe house. There, he meets Pete - the oldest of Tony's sons and currently AWOL, same as Babe. Pete is adorable, all sunshine and puppies and right-hand man of a local mafia boss. Or something. Because, you see, Pete figured out early on that the only way to leave Tony was to seek the protection of someone even worse. So he started working with the mafia, as you do. Apparently, he's so good at his job that he's convinced them all to go straight. Now he's studying to become a doctor. Oh, and also planning Tony's demise by preparing a really effective presentation.

That's where Babe comes in. Him visiting Tony's mansion was all a distraction - a sleight of hand, if you will. Even though he complains about Way manhandling him (Pete offers to get him a masseuse for the pain) it was all part of their plan:

While Babe distracted the guards by making a big stink, Way snuck into Tony's evil room of plotting (or something) and stole all of his evil data. When he later dragged Babe outside, he used the opportunity to slip the data stick into his pocket. On it there's evidence of all of Tony's evil business transactions. It would be easy to give it to the police, but Pete cautions against it. The evidence would simply vanish - something that has apparently happened many times before. Instead, Pete plans to reveal all of Tony's evil deeds in a way that makes it impossible for anyone to ignore.

We cut to Charlie and Babe sharing a cute moment. Wait, what?

"I've never loved anyone this much before." Babe's voice was soft, as if he didn't really want to accept reality, but he couldn't help but share those feelings with [Charlie]. "I'm afraid that if I love you too much, it will make you uncomfortable. [...] I'm afraid I can't love you as well as you love me."

Is it a dream? A memory? A (shared) vision? Whatever it is, before Babe wakes up from it, he and Charlie share some fundamental truths about themselves. About how Babe doesn't really know how to act now that he's in a relationship because he's never been allowed to be in love. About how he feels vulnerable and unsure, afraid of taking too much instead of giving back. But Charlie reassures him that he likes Babe just the way he is. He feels very loved, and anyway, he's also never loved anyone before so it's not like he has any grounds for comparison.

Meanwhile, Charlie also just woke up. He's given away the last of his powers and he's very exhausted. Jeff is with him to keep him company. Outside, it's just stopped raining. The rain makes Charlie think of Babe because it accompanied them throughout their relationship: when they argued, when they fought, and when they first became boyfriends.

"And the first day you became a normal person, it also rained," Jeff added with a small smile [...]. "But you couldn't see it in time. Only I saw." "Yes, when I woke up, the rain had already stopped." "Maybe that's a good sign." "A good sign?" "Yes," the young man nodded lightly. "Because the rain has stopped. [...] The sky is clear now."

What is this? Allegory? In my omegaverse novel??

There's always been a shadow hanging over Charlie and Babe's relationship - heavy and dark like a rain cloud, constantly reminding them of their past, their powers and the lies it took for them to even meet. Charlie has worked hard to rid them of their powers, and Babe is busy taking action against Tony. Maybe honesty and trust are all that stand in the way of them getting their happily ever after...

Until then, all they have is last night's dream, because as it turns out Charlie shared Babe's vivid memory. Babe's powers were the last to get exorcised and perhaps it created a momentary psychic bond between them. You never know with these omegaverse x-men.

What follows is the moment we've all been waiting for: the grand finale. The Ides of... whatever month this is but I hope Khun Tony gets stabbed to death by all of his adopted children. Et tu Way!

Meanwhile, Khun Tony is throwing a party. And by party I mean a human trafficking auction where he sells off some of his beloved children to fellow rich people. Charming. Why bother with a plan at all? Why not set everything on fire?

Right, because Pete really, really wants everyone to see his presentation.

Currently, Babe is disguising himself as a waiter. We all know waiting (and retail) staff are invisible to most people so no one recognises him except for one lone guard who's so smitten that he asks Babe out on a date.

Pete is also in disguise while Way pretends to be a good son and accompanies Tony for some good old-fashioned evil mingling. Their plan is to disrupt the auction and reveal all of Tony's illegal machinations.

This is a very questionable idea because I don't know about you but if I was at an auction trying to buy a child I'd probably not care if the auctioneer was evil. I'd probably ask for a slice of the evil pie.

Just as Babe is about to set their plan in motion, he's interrupted by Kenta. Uh-oh.

But, much like Pete and Way, Kenta too has had enough of Tony and was just waiting for the perfect moment to act. He assures Babe that he won't interfere. In fact, it was him who let Way into Tony's evil room of plotting to gather all of the incriminating info on him. Et tu Kenta!

"About helping you guys, this is a personal matter. [...] I have a brain, I can think for myself, and I know what to do. [...] But not everyone has many choices. Especially me. I can't make the same choice as you. [...] So, this is the best I can do. [...] You can handle the rest yourself, right?"

And so, Kenta leaves this story (presumably with some of Tony's financial assets) never to be seen again. What a shame. Kim's existence in the series will hopefully fix this.

Meanwhile, the auction is about to begin. I mean, the... uh, fundraising for poor, underprivileged children who also happen to have powers. Everyone's delighted - except for the poor kids who are led on stage one by one and then sold off like priced cattle. The thought alone makes Babe sick. Would the same have happened to him if he hadn't run away that day (no Babe, I thought we had established that you'd have been part of the breeding program...)?

And now, after having watched episode 5 of the tv series, I wonder if this is where the plot will lead us in lieu of the omegaverse plot. Tony mentioned an auction. I wonder if his goal is to sell Babe (and any other of his adopted children) for profit.

Anyway.

Babe's thoughts are cut short by a guard patrolling in front of Pete and his hiding place. Babe decides to check things out but he's quickly overwhelmed by the much stronger guard. He starts choking Babe and things almost go from bad to worse until someone unexpected comes to Babe's rescue.

That someone is Charlie - and there's a short, sweet and intense reunion between them that proves all of his fears wrong:

"I'm sorry." "It's okay," Babe let go of the hug and immediately responded without stopping for a second, his palms framed the other man's cheeks, before kissing his entire face: his forehead, nose, cheeks and lips. "It's okay, Charlie. Really, it's okay." The beautiful alpha hugged the tall young man again while repeating "It's okay" over and over again until the listener felt guilty.

Well, that was easy. But more on that later.

Charlie, Babe and Pete quickly catch up and then join forces. Pete is amazed that Charlie gave up his powers to escape Tony's clutches, going so far as to even fake his death to protect his loved ones. He's also amazed that he'd even dare come here - powerless and without a nifty presentation.

(And also, how does this whole having no powers thing even work? Did Reval - and in turn Charlie when he stole Babe's powers - rewrite Charlie's whole dna? Because how else would that even affect Tony's evil breeding program? And why am I so concerned about the specifics of omegaverse shenanigans? For all I know none of these characters even know or care about dna.)

It's quickly decided - probably due to Charlie's lack of nifty presentations - that they'll continue following Pete's plan. But wait, where is Jeff? There's no way he'd have let Charlie come here on his own!

Back at the auction, another child is led onto the stage to be sold. It's none other than Jeff. The auction grinds to a halt while Tony attempts to save face. This leaves Jeff with enough time to introduce himself and his powers. His name is Jeff, he's a 20-year-old omega and he can see the future.

"In no more than ten minutes, everyone in this room will have the same future." Jeff looked around the room with a bright smile before saying his next sentence which made the entire meeting room fall silent. "That is, death." The little Omega smiled broadly as if his own prediction was very pleasant.

I love Jeff so much. Make them suffer!

He then adds that there's a bomb hidden in the building and it will go off if even one person attempts to leave. Who even needs nifty presentations when you've got... Oracle Omega (no seriously, this is what the novel - or rather, the machine translation - calls him. Maybe it's his code name).

Everyone is then forced to watch Pete's presentation. I really, really hope it looks something like this:

I'm not joking, it has talking cartoon dogs. Interactive talking cartoon dogs overlaid with incriminating voice files of Tony.

Turns out Tony's guests are okay with human trafficking and buying children but they draw the line at violence and murder embezzlement. Everyone is all shocked and clutching their pearls and secretly very glad that their names don't come up in this weird cartoon dog powerpoint presentation.

Tony's acting all cool until the cartoon dogs reveal that this presentation is broadcast live and for everyone to see - this includes live footage of the auction.

But it's never too late to fix your past mistakes so Tony draws his gun on Jeff because he would have gotten away with it too if it weren't for you meddling kids!

Luckily, Way quickly intervenes before Tony can fire his gun, but even though Tony's many guards are somewhat suspicious of a little guy with a bomb and someone who hypnotises people for a living, they're quickly overpowered. In the control room above, Charlie, Babe and Pete don't fare much better.

Everything seems lost until there's a loud crash.

It's Alan in a black supercar and he's crashed through the doors leading to the auction hall.

They're on the second floor (it is sadly later revealed that Alan didn't drive up the stairs - the car was already parked in front of the doors because this is what rich people do to impress other rich people, I guess).

But Alan isn't alone. He's brought several other racers, among them Six (Babe's old rival who was probably turned into either Kim or Winner in the series). Six is a powerful alpha who can cause mass hallucinations that are so strong that they're banned by law.

Yeah.

Tony's guards are going down!

Meanwhile, Tony has had enough. He locks down the whole mansion so no one can escape. Charlie, Babe and Pete make their way up to the roof because there might be a skylight without security doors. They have guns, the many guards have guns, but it's okay because this is where Pete enigma powers come in.

You see, Pete has super control over his whole body, meaning that he never misses a shot.

I guess this explains this bit in the series (except for the part where the arrows are all over the place). But also congrats to Way for his future boyfriend with amazing body control.

While Pete is busy being awesome, Charlie and Babe lament the fact that they're probably going to die here when there's so much sex still to be had. :((((

Things are looking dire indeed. They're surrounded and out of bullets. One of the guards takes aim at Babe but before the bullet can hit him Charlie intervenes by jumping into its path. Miraculously, he's okay.

But that's because a few steps away Way has also jumped into the bullet's path and it's hit him instead. Babe is in shock. He hates Way for what he's done but in a way he's still his best friend. While Alan unsuccessfully tries to stop the bleeding Babe comes closer:

"Babe…" Way's dry voice called out his name as soon as he knelt beside him. "This is all I can do." Babe was silent, he just stared at his former best friend's face, tears flowing silently, without him even realizing it. "I know whatever price I pay, it probably won't be enough. But this is all I can do." Way's voice is very soft, as light as his breath. "…. I'm sorry for being a friend like this.."

And then he dies. Babe is inconsolable, sobbing and tightly hugging Way's lifeless body. He's still angry with Way, and he'll never forgive him for what he's done, but he didn't want him to die.

They better change this whole part in the series or I'll riot. I watched Nut Supanut die once in Something in my Room and I still haven't recovered.

Their victory is overshadowed by Way's death. Tony is apprehended alive and taken into custody. His evil alpha trafficking and breeding program is no more.

A little while later, Charlie finds Babe sitting alone in the mansion's garden. They talk, and Charlie apologises once more for letting Babe believe that he was dead. If Babe wants him to, he will disappear from his life and even stop racing cars so that they'll never have to meet again. This is all he can do: give Babe the freedom to decide for himself. But Babe only asks him if he truly wants to leave, and of course Charlie doesn't. And that's that. Babe has made his choice. He has decided long ago that he wants Charlie in his life.

Their long-lasting painful lives ended in the garden of the mansion that raised them to grow up like caged animals, allowing them to meet and fall in love. Today, everything has ended. It ended with the falling rain washing away their blood stains, sweat and tears, as well as a sweet kiss that he had been thinking about for a long time, making him feel able to stand in the rain without feeling afraid.

Oh, the rain allegory (and also oh, the bad machine translation)!

The novel ends quietly with Way's funeral, eerily similar to Charlie's fake funeral a few weeks prior. It's attended by the same handful of people. Even the clothes they wear are the same (which is convenient, I guess, but also... ouch!). Despite his many wrongdoings, people loved Way - and this includes Babe. And as it turns out, it was Way who got rid of whoever caused Babe's racing accident. He never told anyone about it.

Babe stays behind with Charlie and mourns his friend. He recognises that his feelings of friendship and betrayal are both valid and important (and later on it's established that Babe actively works on processing his traumatic experiences with the help of medication and therapy - and you know, I really appreciate the novel's nuanced approach to a character's mental health. It's an incredibly rare thing to see in Thai BL and an even rarer thing in most kinky stories). He won't forgive Way but...

"In the next life, please be kind to me. Don't deceive me again [...] Be a good friend, idiot!"

Which is as much of a peace-offering as anyone can hope for - wishing to meet each other again in the next life under better circumstances. Negl, I teared up because it's such a bittersweet thing to say. 😭

Meanwhile, Alan and Jeff have gone ahead and are talking in the car. Their ending is vaguely romantic (with their growing relationship hopefully developing further in the bonus chapters) but for now, all Alan asks of Jeff is to accept him in his heart as his brother. Please, don't phi nong me, novel!

And because this is Pit Babe the novel, we get one last drawn out sex scene that consists of Charlie trying to cheer Babe up by suggesting a game of naughty cards. A bit like strip uno, I guess. Naturally, Babe wins, but Charlie is allowed to leave his glasses on - and wear nothing but an apron while he gives Babe the bestest and longest and absolutely mindblowing (yes, there's a lot of blowing too) dicking of his life. Babe, my man, enjoy. You truly deserve it.

The End.

No wait, the novel actually ends with Babe and Charlie racing again for this year's title of King of the Hollow. Charlie is very skilled now, and it's very close but I'm relieved to say that Babe's experience and talent isn't all for nothing and OF COURSE HE FUCKING WINS.

The End.

Hold on, wait. I forgot about the part where Charlie takes Babe to see Reval - his real father. And of course Babe forgives him and it's all very sweet and they live happily ever after.

THE END. For real this time. Except for the bonus chapters. And unless the mpreg happens there (I mean, Jeff and North are technically available...), that's it for the omegaverse shenanigans.

When I first started writing these commentary posts I never thought they'd become so detailed and long - or that people would actually be interested in reading them. Thank you so much to everyone who left replies and tags. Sharing the insanity and reading everyone's reactions was honestly the best part of it all. May Pit Babe the series treat us kindly, and may none of us ever pop up in a cartoon dog powerpoint presentation. 🙏

[pvlvsdog]

Hello! I have a request. Can a sinner react to a rather dangerous but calm-natured reader? Like if a sinner gets into a fight and the reader just looks at them, they'll shut up right away. The reader might have a dead-looking look. The reader didn't mean to do that. The reader just had something bad happen to them in the past, which is why they have that face.

Meursault wouldn’t question you much as to why you’re so stoic. To be honest, he doesn’t need your reasons, he just gets it. I would even go as far as to say you quickly become his favourite coworker because you don’t waste your time on unnecessary expressions and inflections. You get your job done and get to the point, communicating with you isn’t a hassle. He can vibe with that, since he tries to do the same. You two aren’t exactly alike, if asked he would probably even provide a detailed list of clear differences. Which is about the most upfront he will be in signifying he is paying attention to you (without asking at least, if you ask, he might kind of admit it). You are jaded by life, your walls are too tall to scale and many had given up, instead resorting to sneaking nervous glances at you whenever you appear in their peripheral. But Meursault is only ever impressed by your abilities and never pushes you to be a completely different person. Though, if asked, he may sometimes advise you to try and let your protective layer of numbness lower, for the sake of your own mental wellbeing

No other way to say it but Sinclair idolises you. Not in a very obvious way. But he is drawn to the mysterious aura. Scared but aroused intrigued by your presence. You are everything he isn’t. People respect you, you seem to have your emotions under your control and you fight with a deadly determination. Not much is known about you and when you do speak, it always leaves him wondering about more. He had gotten smacked a solid few times when your ferocious but calculated fighting distracted him from killing off an enemy or two. That gap between you makes him a bit too scared to approach for some time, he shrinks into himself thinking of how many of his failures you witnessed. How many times you tore through bodies only for him to cry out for a home that will never be when he is once again killed off on the side? How many corpses you fed to the strange vehicle you all travel in while he had to wipe his own gore-induced vomit off his shoes? Of course, I don’t want to make him seek like a sad wallflower, he has his moments. But this is not about him being below you or anything, I just think you excel in those exact areas he feels insecure about. And he can get a bit too focused on that to see that you’re just one of a whole group of his very traumatised coworkers and there would be no harm in approaching you, since he wishes to know you better. I think he would get the courage to do it after his canto, trying to engage you in small talk. Now it’s up to you how you react to that, but if you encourage him (to the extent the walls you’ve built allow you to), you’ll have a loyal friend. And perhaps something even more intimate, but if you don’t make the first move, I don’t promise he’ll be quick with such confessions. I do however have to note that, as he grows more secure, you two are bound to butt heads.

Now, unlike Emil, Ryoshu doesn’t waste time to approach you. Your technique is immaculate and she tells you as much. But your emotionless exterior prompts her to say “you’re N.F.” (“No fun” as Sinclair helpfully explains). Despite her claim, it’s no secret she likes to mess with you a bit. It’s nothing grand, but her presence is definitely made known and she says her quips here and there, clearly curious about how you’ll respond. She likes working with you too, since you’re pretty dangerous towards your enemies. Despite her seemingly carelesless attitude toward you I think if you were to be the next person to have to revisit your past, she’d be one of the most attentive sinners

There’s one certain thing when you interact with Gregor. You make him nervous. He is a yapper and the word count only goes up when he’s nervous. But nobody can shut him up like you, every time you give him that famous cold stare of yours. To be fair, I think Rodya would love you for it, given you interrupted more than one of Greg’s badly executed improv “performances” (brought on by some danger he’s trying to deescalate). However, he can also recognise your mannerisms well. He knows that empty look, he knows that coldness in your tone. He’d seen it in a lot of soldiers back in the day and even more often with veterans he has encountered. So even if you do make him nervous, he’s usually the first one to give you some grace if your presence is making people uncomfortable. He understands well, that there are some untold stories that keep everyone up at night. He is not privy to yours, but the least he can do is show you the understanding he himself feels (at large) undeserving of

Rodya’s a bit less merciful when it comes to leaving you be. Her carefree persona often clashes with your gruff demeanour. She likes to point out and comment on the way you act. Your “creepy expression” or the way you never try to include yourself in the collective fun. It makes her all the more jealous to see that despite how much you don’t try to be liked, you still get praise for how deadly you are in fights. Others still admire your skill and precision and you don’t even have to try for it (or so she bitterly thinks, though she wouldn’t say such thing out loud). However, I think over time she would maybe grow a little used to your presence. She only pretends your death stares don’t scare her and she’s always up to throw a small quip your way. But as your canto approaches, I could see her being one of the first people that try to talk to you. Sure, part of it is that she wants to feel like she’s useful. You’re always so professional, brave and composed so there is a part of her that gets off on the fact that she’s the one helping you. Not the other way around. Because though you might be this great employee and fighter, she’s still the outlet you need

Outis is hard to read here, but I recon you could quickly become one of her favourite coworkers. You’re not as painfully literal as Meursault, but you still get your job done well and don’t waste your time on unnecessary sentiments and flailing around. However, as soon as your indifference extends to the manager, she’s the first one to tell you off. I like to joke about Outis being down bad for Dante but I see if more so as her ‘projecting’ (from the dialogue I’ve read). As in, she can totally imagine being in their shoes and she is very aware that your attitude can sometimes be the opposite of helpful. Other than that, I can see her praising you plenty. Sure, it’s a bit like being called a ‘pleasure to have in class’ by your teacher (ykwim) but at least she’s nice? Plus I can see her offering you a little understanding when you get your painful past exposed. As much as she can sympathise with Dante, she also gets that there are situations that are bound to make one build walls around themselves. It’s a survival tactic she’s far too familiar with

Similarly, Don is mostly unbothered by your presence and the way you act. She includes you all the same and the only thing that would deter her or upset her is if you’re overtly judgmental of her ideals. Not that she would hate you. Your fighting skills and ability to appear collected are a source of her amazement for sure. I would even go as far as saying she’s one of the few coworkers that threat you ‘normally’ (though none of them are normal, with all due respect)

I can see Yi Sang, after his canto, trying to make friends with you. He can see that you are as reserved as he once was. And though you remain devoid of emotion (at least on the surface) he will attempt to get to know you more. Even if you reject it, he will not judge you. Though he wishes he got to know you more, now that he has opened himself up to the idea of closeness

One could assume that Faust is like that too. But she is a bit more judgmental (as seen in her interactions with Heathcliff) and though her own calm demeanour rarely changes, she’s more prone to commenting on your specific behaviour. Especially given that you are more of a ‘brute’ in her eyes (speak little, threatening and one of the most brutal fighters), she might make a small quip here and there if you question her plans. I think if they go in the direction they seem to, she might become more open to human error and in turn, look down on you less

Heathcliff isn’t too fond of your terrifying gaze. I feel like he is one of the sinners that experiences it more often and it annoys him that you have such an effect on him and everyone around him. He doesn’t like feeling weak and vulnerable, understandably so, if you get to know about his past. He would be more eager to tell you off but he’s not daft, he has seen you fight. Even the knowledge that he will be brought back to life isn’t reassuring enough when faced with the possibility of dying such a brutal death. He is certain that in this regard you are worse than a vicious distortion. All that aside, he isn’t the one to turn a blind eye to injustice and pain. And since your past is bound to be revealed, in those more vulnerable moments he would be much more understanding. If a bit frustrated. He knows how it is to keep building walls around yourself and let all the awful thoughts fester inside. So while he understands just how much you’ve been keeping to yourself, he will not be gentle with his words. It’s not anger, just pure frustration to see another teammate close themselves off. He has proven multiple times that seeing others go through the same he did/does hits him tenfold (being frustrated that Ish is going after a goal that is destroying her vs the winter story where he almost gets killed because of his need for revenge*). So to see you close yourself off further and resign yourself to a life of cold indifference instead of letting your companions in will not be something that goes ignored by him

I don’t think Ishmael would have much against you on the daily basis. Though she thinks your methods are a bit much (in context of the killing), she sees you more as just another eccentric teammate. And she has plenty of those. If you say something very dark and edgy, there will be a very characteristic sigh heard nearby. I think if Heath’s bored and happens to not napping on the bus, he’d try to count every time she makes that noise. It’s that much of a routine occurrence. However, although she might not always vibe with you, your reliability does provide a certain level of comfort for her. Like, she might not understand you (which is a big if a given with everyone on the bus due to how little you share) but at least her intrusive thoughts of failure are a bit eased by knowing that there are people who are competent and will try to help things go over more smoothly than what Dante can provide

Speaking of Dante. They are… not the greatest at reading emotions and people. So your lack of emotion is a factor in how they perceive you. I kind of can see a scenario where things are going terribly for you but you shrug it off (just another miserable day of existace…) and they go like <oh, okay. I’m glad you’re doing fine>. AT BEST they might think to themselves that something seems off and wonder if something did bother you a bit. Oh and also I think they also are a bit scared of being on the receiving end of your terrifying look. They might not read people well, but they do notice some patters (Greg being silent = Greg being sad, Faust looking straight at them = bad) and they know they messed up when your eyes pierce their soul. Even if you didn’t exactly mean to do that. That do appreciate your combat skills though!

Though Hong Lu doesn’t speak a lot in group settings (usually at least, he will still make inquiries and comments if something intrigues him), he can peak you apart so easily it’s scary. This is like the opposite of Dante I think. Hong Lu sees your actions for what they are - results of something horrible. Doesn’t judge you or anything. But sometimes when you do act all though and scary, he will say something that just applies to you so well. Other sinners think he’s gone mad (they don’t know how accurate his “innocent” musing was) while you’re left to wonder if the bloke has some sort of magical foresight

Wasn’t sure if you wanted romantic or not so I just did like general headcanons on how I think sinners would react to a character like this. With a little sprinkle of romance here and there. Wasn’t sure how to get it right for a while, cause this is a specific character instead of a scenario and it all honestly depends on how they act towards a certain person (like, perhaps I did get it wrong in assuming they wouldn’t side with Heath when he was still arguing with people early on or they would actually love Greg’s improv) so it’s tricky to write. So it might not be what you wanted, I get that

[doodlegirl1998]

I'm honestly appalled at the ending of this manga.

It's so mean-spirited of Horikoshi to drill it into the narrative that Izuku can't be a hero without a Quirk, and when he does have a Quirk, he's only a liability with it so he should just give up. Then for him to take that Quirk away from him when that's all he ever wanted is just a slap in the face to Izuku and what little character development he had.

Not only that, but for how much 1A is supposedly close to one another, they sure were quick to forget about Aoyama when discount Goob replaced him. He's been nothing but an asshole to them, so why are they so excited to see him?

Why can't the adults get off of their asses and be the primary ones helping with rebuilding? Why rope the second years into it? Furthermore, why the fuck are they having school so soon after a near apocalyptic war?

Also, I love how Bakugou is supposedly praised for his "effort" when all he did was nearly get himself killed because AS USUAL, he charged ahead without a plan, and just waited for AFO to rewind out of existence. Meanwhile, Izuku's just left by himself with All Might, because God fucking forbid anybody actually give Izuku the time of day for the right reasons.

Bakugou can go fuck himself for making Izuku's Quirklessness about himself and their "rIvAlRy", and Horikoshi can go fuck himself for making Izuku's attitude towards losing the thing he dreamed of having for 12 years: 🤷.

PS: So much for Aizawa's "apology" towards Izuku meaning anything. All he said was sorry, used Izuku's first name without earning the privilege, and then onto the next scene.

Hi @nutzgunray-lvt 👋

You and me both.

Hori hates Izuku. It is as plain a fact as the sky being blue at this point. It is intensely mean to have Izuku suffer for being quirkless (especially at the hands of Bkg*), gain OFA and work so hard with it only to lose it by the end of the story and then Hori doesn't allow Izu to have any form of upset about this. Instead, he is forced to comfort BAKUGOU about this*- the same Bakugou who calls him Deku (useless) for being quirkless! The same Bakugou who abused him for a decade largely for this!?! What the fuck is this Hori? Get boo-hoo'ing Bak-U-Go out the damn door! Focus on Izuku for once! This is traumatising! Let Izuku actually feel it instead of being puppeteered to make Bkg look good!

This is one of the reasons Izuku feels kind of flat now (I hate to say it as an Izuku fan but he doesn't react in a way that makes sense and we haven't seen in his head in so long...)

I don't buy "Class 1A is a Family," not after they chased down Izuku in the Dark Deku arc and certainly not now. Look at how easily they let Aoyama go! No crying or anything? Like wow...

And for Shinsou? Who has canonically only been an asshole to all of 1A this whole time? And no one has a problem with him or is gutted about Aoyama leaving? Nah... that's some B.S. right there.

To add Ochaco, making fun of Izuku's new hair and saying not to talk to her with that hair was in very poor taste. They were all in a WAR, Izuku didn't just have poor luck with barbers. She comes off like a bitch here not gonna lie...

Having school so soon after a whole WAR and floating UA occurring is so unrealistic... 😑 The fact that students are helping proves the school shouldn't be open yet. But Nedzu gives no shit - who is one of Japan's smartest beings, apparently...

Bakugou being praised for his "effort" over Izuku is simply laughable but sadly nothing new.

Aizawa's "apology" was hollow, simply an item on the checklist for Hori, and it shows. Also, using Izuku's first name was OOC for him and rude for him to use without asking.

In addition, we have seen the Bakugou's, but where is Inko? Hori gives no shit to her, clearly. At least she isn't there for Izuku to be forced to comfort alongside Bakugou - about a traumatic thing that happened to HIM! What is this mess Hori?!

[wannaeatramyeon]

How would the boys (Jake, Samuel, Warren, anyone else) react if reader got hurt? Like stabbed or shot?

Also there are not enough Warren Chae x reader scenerios and headcanons so if you have time and/or energy please I beg of you😩😩

Thanks for the ask :) i'll try and incorporate more of Warren. I always find it hard to write scenarios and hc of people with canon love interest/partners because i feel like such a homewrecker!

Lookism reacting to S/O getting hurt

(Jake Kim, Samuel Seo, Warren Chae, Gun Park, Goo Kim)

Jake Kim

So much guilt at seeing you getting hurt regardless of whether it was a direct consequence of being with him or not.

Starts doubting the relationship. Not because he doesn't love you, because he does. So so much. But your safety is his number one concern and he would rather lose you than put you in any more danger.

The guilt piles on when he realises that you are consoling and comforting him, when it should be the other way round. You talk to him and tell him that there's nowhere else you'd rather be than by his side. The remorse lessens, ever so slightly.

While you're recovering, Jake clears his schedule to make sure he can spend all his time with you. Puts on an extra brave face to make you smile and laugh at his silliness. Laughter is meant to be the best medicine, after all.

In the meantime, there are strict orders to the rest of the crew to make sure that the person pays for what they have done to you.

Samuel Seo

After making sure you're ok and well on your way to recovery, the first thing he would do is find out exactly who injured you and where they are.

Doesn't care about exactly why you are injured, just that the person is punished for harming you. How dare they harm what is his. How dare they even touch you.

The second thing he does is grab his brass knuckles to rain hellfire. He doesn't involve anyone else. It's personal. Samuel does all the talking with his punches until they are left dead, or wishing they're dead.

Insecurities and doubts start to kick in after the dust has settled. Why isn't he strong enough to protect you in the first place? Your words of reassurance, as usual, always does wonders for his inferiority complex. He would be lost without you by his side.

Doesn't let you out of his sight when you are healing, and completes all his work from home. You're touched. You know how ambitious he is, so to put you above everything else shows how much he loves you.

Warren Chae

Completely shaken up by what has happened. No doubt he will exact his revenge but will be left traumatised by the incident.

He swore to protect you and he's failed to do so? How could he think of himself as your partner. What's the point in telling people about his wins/losses/draws? The stupid ratio doesn't matter if he loses you.

Struggles with omitting words even more after this, and trains harder than ever to get stronger. Absolutely dotes on you 24/7 until you are better and also beyond.

Similar to Jake and Samuel, you need to comfort and console him about his insecurities. How you can't plan for every eventuality, Warren can't be with you all the time even if he tries. Together, you build his confidence back up.

The first time he speaks to you in a full sentence again, you cry. He didn't think it was possible to love you anymore.

Gun Park

Immediately checks that it's not fatal. If it is, he will rush you to emergency care. If not, then he will be chasing after the attacker.

Either way, it all ends up the same way for the person who hurt you. There is no mercy, he will burn the place down to the ground to find out who it is and kill them. If they're affiliated with someone, then consequences be damned.

If by some stroke of luck they manage to evade Gun, then he will happily spend the rest of his life tracking them down.

Surprisingly caring when you are recovering, making sure your every need and whim is tended to. To be honest, gets extremely overbearing. You wouldn't be allowed to go to the bathroom on your own if you didn't insist.

This side of him doesn't come out often though so you try and take advantage. Gun knows this and lets you anyway.

Goo Kim

Absolute seek and destroy. Goo hates people touching things that are his. There is no way whoever harmed you is getting away, and especially not with a painless death.

The sadistic side of his character really comes out. He wants to see your attacker beg for death. For every moment left in their pitiful life to be hell on earth. To see the light finally go out in their eyes. And he wants to be responsible for all that.

A complete 180 from this is the way he is with you when you are recovering. Your every wish is his command.

Goo will stick to your side like the strongest superglue known to mankind. You are never getting a moment of peace for the foreseeable. It's annoying and cute in equal measures.

Underneath the clinginess is a whole lotta love and worry, so you take it in stride.

[walpu]

I found a really interesting premise that I think you would execute perfectly. The IPC has established a "mental and emotional health department" basically therapists to help with the stressed out or traumatised IPC worker and it's a mandatory thing to have one visit with them. The reader works in this department and when Topaz, Aventurine and Ratio (separately) went in, all probably thinking it's pointless. Reader proceed to read them like a book to the mineut details of their issues. How would they react? Would they come back for another visit?

thank you so much for your trust, it was actually very interesting to write 🥹

being their therapist

characters - Dr. Ratio, Aventurine, Topaz

notes - gn!reader, no romantic undertones, mostly character study

Dr. Ratio

I feel like he would be a bit taken aback at first.

He didn't expect you to go further than a few generic questions about how the latest missions have affected him and suddenly you're asking about his feelings regarding the IPC recurring him.

"Weren't you disappointed? Didn't you feel like your cooperation with the IPC symbolizes you drifting further away from joining The Genius Society? How do you view The Genius Society in general?"

It's a bit too personal for his liking but he has to admit that you are truly an expert in your field.

I can see him rather harshly asking why are you stepping out of the line with your questions since it's hardly concerns the topic of the therapy session. Not because he's too troubled by you seeing through him but simply because of the professional ethics.

When you elaborate that it's the IPC's request to make a full psychological portrait of their workers he just sighs.

His answers are short, he doesn't elaborate much. Sometimes he simply says that the topic you mentioned doesn't affect his mental state in a way that can prevent him from doing his job and leaves it at that.

He doesn't trust the IPC much since he knows better than giving a powerful organization information about his weaknesses. He does feel a certain level of respect towards you and your professionalism though.

Doesn't feel targeted or overly vulnerable even if it leaves a bitter taste in his mouth to hear his insecurities being acknowledged.

Wouldn't show up again. Mostly because of his distrust to the IPC tho.

Aventurine

Oof.

Both of you will need a drink after that.

There's just so much to unpack really.

If you try to ask him about how he feels almost dying at each mission, he downplays it.

If you ask about his childhood trauma, he shrugs it off.

I don't know how many people saw his interview for anan but everytime he's asked about something personal he brings up how he's actually lucky and hiw he should be grateful. So you get tve spirit.

Doesn't matter what your question is, his answer is the same. He survived, he was loved by his family, all his suffering led him to this, so of course he's grateful what are you taking about ha ha!

Look at his voicelines too, praising the IPC and all that. He gives you this generic answers and hopes you'll buy it.

Well you don't but you also can't force him to answer more honestly.

He himself would be deeply troubled by you reading him like that. He feels weak, defenseless. Like all he has done to protect his inner self was for nothing since you can see through him like that.

0/10 experience he won't show up ever again. Nothing personal against you, he just can't do it. Plus he doesn't trust the ipc either so.

Topaz

Honestly the most normal one.

She will at least try to be honest since she trusts the IPC (maybe a bit too much, which is also a coping mechanism and not the healthiest one, but you can't really call her out on this since you're working for the ipc and, let's be honest, they would not respect their workers' privacy, they WOULD force you to give them their personal information if needed and you don't want to make it worse for Topaz)

She may be a bit taken aback at first but it honestly feels good to talk about her struggles and inner conflicts. And I'm sure she has a lot of those since she's actually trying to do good things, still believing that the IPC can bring positive changes.

Will probably share her experience in Belobog with you.

Will use your meetings as an opportunity to sort out her feelings about her missions.

Has a lot of respect for you personally and actually tries to do some soul-searching to make your meetings more productive.

The only one out if the three of them who would come back

[thefirstknife]

i unironically hope Eris stays in her Hive form at least physically bc im already loving how both her & Immaru are pointing out Ikora's (and humanity's) inherent dehumanization of the Hive.

Eris being all "If this form does not leave will you still view me as a friend?"

Immaru when asked where the Experiment Subjects come from and responding with "Don't act like you care."

Honestly, it's so good. I really love the Eris stuff and some of these questions being posed. A lot of people react negatively to Eris doing this, forgetting that Eris has already been part-Hive for a long time. She was just hiding it behind the eye cover.

Technically, nothing inherently changed about Eris; she just embraced that part of her. And that's super important for her arc I think because she's been on a journey of accepting her trauma and her losses for a very long time. We helped her face her fears and traumas in Shadowkeep and she came out of it victorious. And the story never treated it as her traumas being gone; she still has them, but she has the means to tackle them and handle them and live with them. Since we helped her, she became more open and more involved with what we do to save our home, even if it meant tackling dangerous things.

And the thing is, now that her traumas cannot be exploited by Darkness anymore, she's capable of involving herself in these things, knowing that she has friends to fall back to and a support system and better mental fortitude. We've seen it through her endurance beneath the Pyramid on Io, and her grasp of stasis, and her dealing with the Crown of Sorrow and egregore and the Lunar Pyramid nightmares. And now with her embracing her Hive self. It doesn't change anything about her, but people prefer when she hides it so they don't have to see it. And she knows it (Sororicide lore book, page 1):

It's a perfect example of how we inherently view the Hive as untrustworthy. Obviously, there are good reasons for it! The Hive have caused immense pain and trauma to pretty much everyone in the universe, Eris included. It must take an incredible strength of character to embrace the fact that you're physically half-Hive, creatures that traumatised you in the first place. No one else has dealt with anything similar so naturally they're afraid for Eris. But I believe in her strength. And so does Drifter and Drifter is never wrong:

He'd read the reports. He saw the theories on VanNet. He didn't trust them. He trusted her.

There's a cutscene that people skip and can cause people not to see it, I recommend replaying the thing on a different character or seeing it online, but it shows Eris taking off her bandage in front of us:

It's such a powerful image to me. A symbol of her taking off her mask. Not pretending to be the same as us anymore. Because she isn't! The Hive are a part of her and have been for centuries. And she's always been in control. Our mistrust has always hurt her, but before this, we could act with pity towards her. Now that she's fully in Hive form, people's perception of her changed, for really no good reason other than prejudice. She is still Eris.

I definitely think that eventually we will have to reconcile with the idea of the Hive not being inherently evil in totality as a whole group of people. Obviously this is going to be difficult, especially when their leaders act the way they do, but eventually I do believe we will have to accept some of them, even if it's only Eris for a start.

[cult-of-the-eye]

Mag 81 A Guest for Mr Spider

FUCK FORMER HEAD ARCHIVIST

Wait I need to check the timelines - this was 2 days after leitner's death

New spooky music???

My man is so fucking dramatic I love him so much "grand of sand behind my eye" love the way he speaks

Yeah FUCK JURGEN LEITNER

Omg the greying hair is canon??

Child in the 90s makes him at most 27 GOD DAMN. I was imagining like mid 30s...can you imagine a fucking 27 yr old using words like "ilk" when talking to you

Oh shit he's an orphan poor guy

Yeah ok a lot of his personality seems to make sense if you realise he was raised by his grandma

You know those memes that are like people raised by their grandparents are exceptionally polite but in a brisk way, talk fancy and are super posh? Yeah that's him.

Getting such neurodivergent vibes

Yeah he sounds like a main character from the start Jesus Christ he's such a kid who got traumatised and then grows up to be a horror protagonist vibes

My First Leitner lol like kids had to be introduced to them at a young age like those my first toys

He's so funny I can just imagine him as an 8 yr old getting super like affronted at this like how dare my grandma think I am of subpar intelligence he's such a little bitch from the start

"The eponymous Mr spider" even talking about his childhood trauma he's busting out the vocabulary

Fuck that story actually kinda rattled me I had my hand over my mouth in shock for most of it

I think it was the bit where the horsefly brought his son and they were both crying that got me, I could definitely imagine it scaring an 8 yr old

The way it drags out as well, with the pages of the same scene it really heightens the suspense

Is his childhood bully someone we should keep track of?? Love how he says Michael probably cause he sees him as a bully lol

It's interesting how despite him bullying him (quite badly seeing as though he beat him up) he's still like yeah but he saved my life and that means he deserves to be remembered

My bro didn't save your life on purpose, he was just trying to make it worse and happened to come to a terrible fate cause of that

I guess underneath it all he was still a kid who watched someone die, knowing they'd get eaten by a fucking spider, he still held him in some regard

The way he specified the guy was his bully even after he was being eaten though lol

He was desperate to get the book back? That's a leitner thing I guess, the book makes you want to keep it so it can finish whatever it wanted to do to you

On my relisten (which I will do once I've finished the series I'm sure of it), I'll have to look out for any reaction of leitners name

I wonder why Jon didn't react more to Carlos vittery's statement, like it must've terrified him? I saw a post a while back explaining Jon's thoughts and IT WAS GENIUS it was like of course he doesn't react, he must be terrified that someone knew about his experience and somehow did this to mess with him or it was a joke and he can't let anyone know that the Head Archivist is not Good at This ugh it's so good I'll tag it if I can find it

AHHHHH HE REGRETS DISMISSING THE OTHER STATEMENTS AHHHHHH

HE FINALLY ADMITS THAT HE NEEDS HELP WE LOVE THIS CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT YES YOU FUCKING DO BITCH.

yeah at least he's right about Elias killing leitner

GEORGIE THE EX GIRLFIEND

ITS SO WEIRD TO SEE HIM ACTUALLY NICE TO SOMEONE WOW HIS VOICE CHANGES SLIGHTLY AS WELL HES LESS ACADEMIC

THE ADMIRAL

Awwww he's so cute with georgie

GHOST PODCAST GHOST PODCAST

THE WHAT THE GHOST T SHIRT IS CANON???? AHH THATS SO CUTE

Can he not go back to his own flat?? Did he bring all his clothes to the archive and then subsequently leave them there? Does he even have a flat??

God Georgie is so nice I would kill for her

It's so funny that an apparent supernatural cynic dated a ghost podcaster

WOW SEASON 3 OFF TO AN AMAZING START I CANT WAIT TO KEEP LISTENING IM GONNA TELL MY THERAPIST ABOUT THIS TOMORROW!!!

[bl00dlight]

Ooh I just saw the ask you answered about if Aemond genuinely cares about people and what not, and I loved your answer, very succinct. But it got me thinking, just food for thought really; if Aemond were to meet someone who genuinely loves him back and shows him this love, in a sense that he perhaps would know this person wouldn't betray him/wouldn't hurt him (be it a romantic partner or otherwise). How do you think he would react then? Do you think that, if he knew this person cared for him the same way, he then would allow himself to be vulnerable and trust the person enough to open himself completely?

I won't say similar because it's not that kind of relationship that I mean, I mean an actual real one, but kinda like the vulnerable we see him being in the brothel with the madam? Because there he looks fairly comfortable letting his walls down.

An Analysis Of Aemond Targaryen: Relationships, Romance, Cluster B Personality Disorders, Avoidant Attachment and How Childhood Trauma and Family Dysfunction Fucked His Ass Up.

I've written a psychology paper for you.

I have not proof read this. Idgaf about typos.

Also obviously as I say later, when I talk about this shit - it's in the context of me talking about a FICTIONAL, exaggerated character who has ungodly levels of power. Not your average traumatised irl person. So please do not come for me, I'm analysing AEMOND not you/others irl.

●●●●●●●●●●●●●

Answer;

I think it would be a nightmare.

I don't think he is capable of a stable reltionship. Just like many men in our world, Aemond needs CBT and like maybe a prescription for vallium to help him chill the fuck out.

This isn't a call out by the way, thank you for your question its a genuinely interesting one that Ive thought about alot. But I think fanfiction can start to feel like accurate interpretations of characters. So alot of the idea of Aemond being this soft baby boy on the inside who just needs a woman who loves him to fix him is a completely false dichotomy.

So here is why -

ATTACHMENT ISSUES? PROBABLY.

Aemond didn't actually really care about the Madame. We know that because he walks out and basically says 'A whore is a whore.' In his mind she is just a means to an end - he feels comfortable with her because she is familiar, but ultimately she is still below him, still what he would consider immoral and dirty. Remember he is paying her, he is buying her silence, her discretion and her submission. This is a consensual relationship, she isn't CHOOSING to do these things. He is buying her out.

The reality is, Aemond wouldn't be any different to Daemon. He would neglectful and likely alot less redeemable than Daemon - because ultimately Daemon's wounds are far more surface level, because Daemon is loved and has known compassion/warmth/supportive family etc.

Aemond hasn't. His ENTIRE identity is fractured. For example, take how he treats Alicent and Helaena - two people he knows both genuinely love him and cares for him (in there own dysfunctional ways) and he reciprocates this love and care. Yet look at how he treats them when he is triggered by something (feels weak, scared, confronted, vunerable).

Most people who come from dysfunctional families and have attachment issues or personality disorders or whatever other labels you want to give to trauma. Espeically for men who mainly become more avoidant or anti-social as a result.

They don't lean in to the people who genuinely care for them, they pull away. It's easier for Aemond to give in to the Madame, because she is familiar, but she's also distant. He has all the power. He can be vunerable because she literally cannot hurt him at all, she can't use that vunerablity against him, she can't abandon him etc. Why? Because he can do whatever he wants to her. He could just have her killed if she fucks him off. He doesn't actually care about her, there is no risk for him in being vunerable with her. Ewan Mitchell basically said it himself:

" 'Don’t let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner.' That’s the code his character utilizes so he’s able to maneuver around this world without getting caught by Al Pacino.Aemond has a similar code that stops him from being hurt like he was as a kid. That’s why he’s able to walk out on the madam in that scene. He’s humiliated by his brother and all his crew, and it’s like this switch flips. The madam is no more. All of these people in front of him? They mean nothing. He stands up, he owns it. 'Yeah, I’m bulletproof. Anything you say, it will not work.' "

He isn't attached the Madame. He CAN just get up and leave because the dynamic is risk free. He has the power. But with Alicent or Helaena for example? Notice how he easily he crumbles? How he desperately wants/needs things from them. Comfort, validation, support, love? And when he feels he is being denied that - he shatters.

The trouble is, Aemond would never know someone isn't going to hurt them. If they are choosing to be there willingly, from what we've seen from his characterisation so far - that wouldn't make him less likely to hurt that person. It would make him more likely to hurt them. Which is standard practice with people who have been abused, they repeat that abuse onto others.

Genuine love, genuine vunerable is a fucken huge risk for him. A HUGEEE risk. That's why he kicks Alicent from the council - he can't be around her because she makes him feel vunerable and when he is in the council room he can't afford that. He'd rather convince himself the other person is weak/useless etc, then actually admit it's him who is the problem.

Again... look how he talks about Alicent and Helaena when they deny him, he calls both of them weak.

I legitmately think the Balcony scene is the perfect example of what you're asking about. Aemond does trust Helaena, and he does know she cares. He even thinks she won't hurt him. I mean she is the only one who HASN'T abandoned him. Look at how he approaches her, he is gentle and unknowingly manipulative. And when he feels those feelings become too much, the fear, abandonment, vunerablity etc, when he is rectifying with his own guilt the fact that he might have pushed away the last person who he had- he is literally about to cry. He didn't cry over the Madame that's for damn sure. He just gets up and leaves?

But Aemond doesn't leave at all. She denies him help over and over again, denies him validation and calls him out, and instead of walking away, he stays and threatens her in the hopes she'll give in. He is trying to maintain power over her, even though he knows he is completely powerless. That he can't do anything to stop her from walking away.

That is exactly what it would be like if he knew someone truly cared/loved him. He would be distant to maintain control most of the time, he would probably seek out alot of validation, he'd likely be gentle to some extent/ want to gain their approval - but once he has all those things, it would be an endless back and forth cycle and when he feels them pull away he would crumble and try to manipulate them back. And if they didn't give in, he would probably go back to threatening or abusing, just like with Helaena and Alicent.

Dont ask why but I know ALOT about attachment issues/personality disorders. He reminds me of a former narcissist I had a thing with, whom also had a raging avoidant attachment style.

BPD? Probably.

Now if we were to diagnose Aemond, I'd go down the bpd with narcissistic/anti social tendencies line of thought. Insert this tweet I found the other day:

There is really no fixing Aemond, the closer you are to him to more likely he would fuck you up basically. Because think about it? If he can be legitmately vunerable with you, if he ACTUALLY cares/loves you? There is a greater risk involved for him. It's harder for him to just up and leave when he needs to.

I mean we see him LITERALLY stay even after Helaena walks away. And then we see how he has another one of those shut down moments, his tear dries up, and he gets them cluster b shark eyes, like he did in the brothel.

Ewan Mitchell is unknowingly giving one of the most intensive, exaggerated yet nuanced depictions of a SERIOUSLY dysfunctional cluster B mf. Forget American Psycho or Girl Interrupted - Aemond Targaryen

And by the way, when I talk about this- just know I have alot of bpd friends, so I've had personal experience with them and they are some of the most deeply loving, insightful people I've ever met. All of them are trying their best to heal, which most borderlines really do try and want to get better. I also speak from a place of similar attachment issues and trauma - and believe me, my ass don't behave like Aemond at all. So I always speak with the knowledge that, I'm talking about fictional characters and not real people. And fiction is always exaggerated.

99% of people with bpd or dysfunctional attachement styles dont have narcissistic or anti social tendencies to the extremity Aemond does. It's a TV show, and Aemond is more comparable to the cluster B' s who are fascist leaders/cult leaders/serial killers/criminals etc then your average sufferer. So that's important to note.

I'm applying real world ideas to fictional characters to get a better understanding of how they tick. Aemond was written basically as a sociopath in the book. That's why I stress that his relationship with Alys is NOT a good one.

But in the show, the writers have 'humanised' Aemond which is code for "let's make his eventual villainy rooted in deep familial trauma and neglect, but also make it so he is capable of love, care - etc" So basically you've given him untreated, festering BPD which as a result of the fact he is male, a Prince and a rides Vhagar: he develops narcissistic tendencies as a result of a superiority complex compounding with the fact he can only get validation when he achieves things/ feels powerful when others feel inferior ON TOP OF THAT in s2, the lack of familial support/abandonment is installing an even deeper lack for empathy for those he views below him. He is also validated by Targaryen supremacy and subscribes to the idea that he is more deserving and entitled to power and a Targaryen legacy. He thinks being vunerable is a weakness because thats what he is taught. He thinks you get power via violence. Thus why he idolises Daemon who is his parallel.

Daemon also might be a tad bit cluster B. But, significantly less. He probably falls more into the line of general male fuckery and an unhealthy attachment style.

Aemond is sort of leaning into the Anakin/Scarlet Witch line of psychology more so then the typical American Psycho or Joker or Ramasy Bolton, Joffery Lannister etc etc; chaos for chaos sake.

In fact I think Aemond's greatest parallel isn't Daemon - it's Visenya Targaryen. Which is no doubt WHY Vhagar chose him. And Visenya too devolves into a total state of genocidal mania too. Probably why Jace told Rhaenyra not to idolise her.

Visenya was extremely stern, powerful, dutiful and most importantly: believed DEEPLY in Targaryen supremacy and loved her siblings fiercely. She was basically the one who got shit done, who was the driving force of the conquest and was able to whip Aegon into shape. She didn't fuck around, and she didn't like being fucked around. She even pulled a knife out on Aegon to prove his guards were slow and shit - thus establishing the King's Guard.

But she devolves into chaos and rage after Rhaenys dies and ESPECIALLY when it's Rhaneys' son who is Aegons heir not Mageor - WHOM ALSO IS A PARALLEL TO AEMOND.

But we won't get into that.

DOES HE HAVE WOMAN PROBLEMS? PROBABLY.

So basically as I said, Aemond has woman issues. Not just mummy issues. He has WOMAN ISSUES.

Number one he is a teenage boy. He wouldn't be some daddy dom sex god. Espeically since he has zero experience outside of the Madame where... it seems like he just cuddles with her.

As Ewan said, Aemond finds substitutes for the love he couldn't find in his mother/family. Ultimately, no matter what - that's what he is after. He wants the love of his family. And so any outside source he gets it from is disposable, because it's a substitute- because it will never not be a power dynamic for Aemond. He is the most powerful mother fucker in Westeros. He literally tried to kill the KING and didn't get in trouble for it. He wants to be in control of the world around him, he wants to as Ewan said 'Be the Daddy' of his family. He wants to make THEM rely on HIM.

And isn't that funny? Isn't that funny... how desperately Aemond wants the throne, how he'd sacrifice anything for that power. Why do you think that is? Because it means his family has to answer to him. They can't ignore him, can't invalidate him, and they can't deny him love/respect. He'd have total power over the people he feels powerless against.

And look at what happens when Helaena for example denies him, she's the Queen and Alicent reminds him of this. That she doesn't BOW to Aemond. And it shows, it shows because he begs her to help him, because he knows he holds no power over Helaena.

In a weird way, his desire for the throne is the closest he can get to being a baby. Baby's hold a lot of power over those around them. And being King well? Basically everyone does everything for you. You can have what you want, you can do what you want and everyoneeee HAS to love/adore/admire you or its treason.

Think about how valuable that is for a man like Aemond, who wants that comfort, that adoration. He was literally being held by the Madame like he was JESUS.

I think Ewan is right in saying, Aemond doesn't have 'mommy issues' - as I'm watching him, I don't think he wants to submit to woman or be dominated by them. I think the whole coddling/adoration etc IS his version of dominating them.

It's his version of power. Of having a mother dote over you. It's not a humiliation thing, Aemond doesn't want to be humiliated or made to feel inferior or at the mercy of anyone ESPEICALLY NOT A WOMAN. (Again look at what he does to Alicent and Helaena. He legit tells his own mum to go back into the kitchen.)

He wants a woman to make him feel special and validated. To not see any wrong in him or make him feel othered. And even the Madame does this, she validates him by TELLING HIM THE BLACKS SHOULD BE SCARED OF HIM. And that he isn't a boy anymore, he is a man.

It's alot more trauma based and psychosexual then some pornified kink. He isn't really getting off on it. And we see that because when she goes to kiss him, HE PUSHES HER AWAY. If he wanted to be dominated then he'd let her do what she wanted?

It's very specific to show that. He is in control. Again, he isn't taking comfort in the fact he can feel like a helpless little boy. He is being comforted because he feels empowered.

And I think ultimately that dynamic would play out in what you're asking. That genuine love/care you felt for him would be weaponised into him basically siphoning validation from it. It would be a very.... transactional thing, why? Because that's all he knows. His whole life has been transactional. He's been taught that love IS conditional and love IS synonymous with power.

He is looking at Aegon and thinking??? Look at how much attention he gets from Alicent? It's not because Aegon is more worthy of being King, it's because Aegon has power? Aegon has been given everything already just for being born first.

I think Helaena files into that. He WISHED Alicent had given him Helaena as a wife. Why? So he could prove himself worthy. So he could outsource all the love/validation he could from being given that power.

And what is that? Well Aemond tells us as a kid, 'To keep the Valyrian bloodline pure'. Which is what? Power. That's a big reason why Targs marry each other politically is to reinforce power. Had Aemond married Helaena, that would grant him power. Not only from the fact he's basically been provided a wife the point of heirs/politics - but it also because a wife is supposed to love and be dutiful to her husband. A wife is supposed to tend to her husband, even over her children, her duty is to HIM.

So in conclusion - I don't think anything could truly replace that for Aemond.

But I think the fact he views Helaena and Alicent as equals to him, makes it worse. In a weird way as a woman, the more he cares/loves/views you as an equal- the more likely he is to lash out against you because you have the power to hurt him.

He has to actively PUT DOWN his mother, when speaking to Helaena. He literally mentioned that ALICENT IS NOT LIKE US, SHE DOESN'T GET IT. In order to distance himself further from her, and distance himself from the pain of being abandoned by her.

IN CONCLUSION

Can you fix Aemond? No.

Would he become better just if he was shown love/care? No.

Is he capable of love/care. Yes.

Is there a chance at a healthy relationship with him? No. Not without him going to therapy which doesn't exist in Westeros.

Would he be a nightmare? Undoubtedly.

And remember there is a big different between not being capable of feeling love and care VS being capable of it and only being able to express it unhealithly because that's your experience with it.

It's a really tricky thing, because we are taught that abusive people and ABUSIVE MEN in particular are basically psychopaths. And absolutely, they are a section in the vast range of abusers.

But the nuance and unfortunate truth to abusive relationships and why in particular they are so dangerous and AEMOND would be so dangerous - is because many abusers aren't psychopaths. They aren't innately evil or want to hurt you sadistically at least.

Alot of abusive people, are simply reliving their familial trauma. When love/vunerablity/care become weapons, become points of abuse - you don't know any better. And you view them as weaknesses. Because well? They are. They risk you being hurt, you being traumatised. Or for Aemond 'being that scared little boy again'.

So the unfortunate reality is, the closer you get to Aemond in terms of genuine love/care the darker it becomes. Because it would become a source of pain for him - which would trigger all the nasty things we see him do to Alicent and Helaena.

The only way THE ONLY way you could bypass it, is if you basically lost all sense of self and completely submitted to whatever he wanted. As long as you validated him in some way, or comforted him in some way - then it might work. But i don't think that would mean he would turn into a loving and warm man. I think the extent of how gentle he would be is how he is with Alicent and Helaena. And notices how quickly that switch is flipped and how easily he pushes them away when he feels he is getting too close.

And it's not like you could talk to him about it, it's not like you could point that out and say - because he'd view that as you challenging him, making him feel less then, small, inferior, bad, unworthy.

Again... cough cough. Helaena and Alicent? When they call him out for him burning the village and trying to kill Aegon? What does he do? He gets ANGRY. He pushes them away further. He even outrightly LIES to Helaena. Like poing BLANK LIES and tries to accuse her of treason.

Yall see? There would be no winning. If you did everything he wanted, and he loved/cared about you the relationship would still not be loving or warm or fulfilling because he is scared of his own vunerablity in it.

And if you tried to fix it or God forbid had your own desires/free will - he'd threaten you and feel abandoned and do what's called 'spiltting'.

He is black or white. He doesn't know the grey scale. He can temper himself only to the point and only when it benefits him, just so he can strike later. He is calculating. He didn't flip out on Aegon at the brothel. He waited and when he had an opportunity, he took it. Aegon was dead to him already.

So you'd be walking on egg shells. Your best bet if you wanted him to be soft and vunerable with you, is to be the Madame. Meaning he don't give a fuck about you and you'd have no say at all about what actually happens to you. And he holds all the power via money.

But this is just my analysis based on his character SO FAR. It might change as the seasons change because... lord knows his characterisation has been all over the place as everyone's have.

[s1m0nth3swaggy]

Something I haven't seen anyone talk about yet is how valid Charles anger at the night nurse was.

Like, this woman showed up, lied to his friend/ crush and then continued to tell him that he and his best friend of 30 years, who's always been there for him, have to split up and go to the afterlife??

Needless to say that makes him mad, like Charles is such a caring person he doesn't want any harm to come close to the people he loves. He would personally fight all the Endless if it meant keeping them safe. He's that guy.

But then the night nurse DIGS into his memories, reminds him of the awful shit that happened to him and has the AUDACITY to say that Charles has nothing keeping him from going to the afterlife because the world sucks? He already knew that. Doesn't mean he didn't find beauty in it. He's found friends, love, a goddamn purpose, and that random lady just tells him it's for nothing

Honestly, who wouldn't have ticked out? I think it was actually pretty reasonable of him to react that way, given everything that's happened to him and everything the night nurse did (no hate to her, she was just doing her job and I love her as a character)

What baffles me even more is that Crystal can't understand it. Like, shouldn't she know what Charles feels like to a degree? She knows what he struggles with to a point, and even though none of them know the full extent, instead of just being like "it was scary you acted that way" a normal reaction would've been to be worried about Charles, no? I mean yes, she was traumatised by David and strongly saw him in Charles at that moment (or better said, feared they were a little alike), but if my friend ticked out like that, I'd want to know the reason.

We know thought that Charles doesn't like opening up, but from what he said afterwards, it's pretty clear he has conflicted feelings about his whole situation

Maybe it's just me but I think that the way rhey went abozt it wasnt really a good way to deal with it? Like, Crystal was pissed at the night nurse as well for lying to her, and Edwin also doesn't want to go to the afterlife. I'd personally have like pretty much the same reaction as Charles if someone showed me how shit my life was and then just figured my being as ghost couldn't possibly be better. I think Charles was being reasonable, honestly. I also think that yes, it was a harsh reaction, but one that should've worried the others rather than make them be somewhat condescending (at least that's what their reactions always feel like to me?)

[sapphos-darlings]

https://www.tumblr.com/sapphos-darlings/675496447908675584/imagine-that-when-you-were-born-your-entire-family?source=share the issue is, i kinda was raised that way. my parents were happy to have a daughter. i was given the toys i wanted, and i liked both "girly" and "boyish" ones. i was praised for my curiosity, creativity, pursuit of knowledge. i was called a leader type. my period was celebrated (and when i got my first period, my mom bought me a huge pizza). yet i am still traumatised by femininity standards. it's great when your parents treat you with kindness, but there will always be people who don't. not to mention that, for some reason, my mom was all i described above, yet still forced feminine appearance on me when i was a teenager (makeup, hair, clothes). the issue runs so deep it's horrifying. i also have adhd, and i was pretty much the "boy" standard, loud, hyperactive, disrespectful towards teachers... but for some reason, that didn't give me an early diagnosis...

Hello, Anon!

I've been expecting and sort of hoping for a message like this! The thing is, that post is one of my (as in, by mod Lavender) most popular posts, it circulates a lot whenever someone finds it, and it's also sparked a lot of commentary. But despite this, I personally don't consider the post a very succesful one.

I've been reading the tags and comments, and many have shared their experiences, not very different from yours. Stories about how no matter how great the home was, there was still the wider world with its prejudices waiting; that getting a good and loving upbringing didn't undo gender stereotypes pushed on female people outside the immediate family.

The post has genuinely moved some women, which I'm happy about, while others have been deeply frustrated, some even offended and angry. I suppose when a post like that gets a lot of notes, that's inevitable.

But the reading the post has been getting isn't one that I was aiming for.

My original idea was to imagine a girl growing up in a matriarchy. Matriarchy would have its own set of norms that would be just as accepted and natural as the current ones we live under. So what would a society where the girls are a priority look like? That would mean no concept of patriarchal femininity. I think she would be valued for her inner qualities, encouraged to explore and learn a wide range of skills, and free of fear and shame targeting the female body and sexuality. She would enter adulthood ready to live her own life to its full potential, without being weighed down by expectations of servitude or fear of being out of line. So seeing so many readers focus only on the personal level, I can't help but feel that my original intention didn't come through like I had hoped.

While writing, I was thinking of various things I've read about how girls and boys are raised differently. On such thing was a study that showed how adults are more likely to pick soft toys for female toddlers, while male toddlers were given stuff like building blocks and toy cars even though they all had the same selection available to them. I vaguely remember the study pointing out that heavier toys made with hard materials and moving parts are more interesting and help develope fine motor skills, whereas plushies don't provide the same benefits. And of course, socializing boys to take interest in mechanical stuff, being creative, and taking initiative starts already at this stage, while girls are directed towards playing the nurturer and being cute. So, in my mind, the points about how a family would raise the girl, what kind of toys she gets, and how the teachers and peers would react to her growing up, connected to society as a whole, not simply to choices made by an individual family.

Many women in the tags and comments have shared, like you, that their family gave them pretty much all that my original post lists, but that didn't mean they were immune to societal and cultural influences. Which I definitely agree with: it is a very valuable insight to just how much power society outside of family units holds. How just one family - or even just your mother - can't undo what the society and culture as a whole pushes.

And because I agree, I thought I had succesfully imagined that it's not just the family that celebrates the girl, but the culture as a whole. The culture would be what guides the family, instead of the family desperately going aganst the culture.

In the end, I'm happy that so many women have been so moved by the image I painted with that post. I'm also glad it's sparked so much conversation, and even debate. My original intention didn't come through like I wanted to, but that's fine. For some time I've thought about adding commentary to the post itself, but ultimately decided not to interfere with it, but leave it to the community as it is. Regardless of what I intended to do, I think that the conversation the post sparked is so valuable it deserved to unfold without me cutting in to explain myself.

So thank you for your message, and for this opportunity to say something about it! Thank you for sharing your experience, it's all very valuable to women as a whole.

-Lavender

[ikamigami]

I kinda feel like him being good before makes it even worse, since New Moon not only made all these promises to his family, he also kept them, he was kind and thoughtful, loyal, he had integrity, he was honest, and close with most of the family, even when Solar died he was still close with them, but then something snapped and he just destroyed all of it, and it was so fast too, not gradual, which was probably really scary for everyone to watch him basically flip a switch from loving brother to "you're collateral damage" and attempted murder in a matter of what...A few weeks?

You're absolutely right, dear anon QwQ

It happened so fast.. it was a 180° turn from kind and caring brother to violent and uncaring person..

No one expected that..

Even Sun I think cause even if he was afraid that New Moon may start to act like Old Moon he didn't want to think about that.. he believed in New Moon..

Also it's upsetting to see that people really act that Sun should reacted differently when talking with New Moon in jail.. because for Sun it was like reliving his trauma.. he was facing his abuser once again.. I bet that people would react the same way Sun did.. or worse..

But apparently people can only muster sympathy towards Moons and somehow Sun's actions are not understandable..

People are talking bs cause they think they'd do better than Sun but I bet they wouldn't..

And trust me when I'm saying this cause I'm not saying this to be holier than thou.. no cause I'm 100% sure that I'd do worse than Sun in this situation..

Like seriously imagine yourself reliving your trauma, having to face your abuser when you thought that you won't ever see him again.. that the person who is wearing the face of your abuser who you trusted broke their promises.. can you imagine that? Can you imagine how horrifying it is? Can you imagine what would you do in such situation?

I think that it's lack of sympathy.. funny enough that people are more sympathetic towards violent cold and uncaring individuals than compassionate caring traumatised victims..

People often like to not aknowledge their own flaws and shortcomings..

And it's more visible when they judge others.. even fictional characters..

You may disagree but I've seen my fair share of things in my life.. I've seen enough to know that people will always be first to point out flaws in others than admit to their own mistakes..

But one thing is when they talk about fiction.. worse is when they talk about irl stuff irl people.. but I digress..

Also there are more things that could be said about New Moon's situation and how people blame his mental issues for his actions.. but I better leave it like that cause it's a can of warms that I don't want to deal with rn.. it'd cause too much of a headache..

But I absolutely agree with you, dear anon so thank you for pointing this out ^^

[pixelchills]

Dolldrops ~ a year after (short fic/drabble)

So it has been a bit over a year since Chill adopted the celestial dolls to be their little roommates. Sun and Moon were excited, nervous, and kind of confused about what their future with a completely new human might be.

Many things have changed since they moved in, and it is mostly due to Chill's nature of making others feel safe and appreciated the way they are.

Which, in Sunny and Moony's case - was letting their doll coding that had been hidden behind all the fear and trauma of needing to stay hidden and unnoticed in Mrs Flora's house finally surface.

What does this mean, you may ask?

Let's go back to the very beginning.

The Dolldrops were designed to become little playmates for the children in the new jungle gym area in the Megaplex. They were also going to be rentable birthday guests. Despite their original coding to take care of others, especially children, being very permanent in their AI, there was another coded change that was purposeful for the smaller bodies: to be taken care of.

So, while Dolldrop Sun and Moon were still loving to do the original things they were designed to do, they also had a code which made them love things like being carried like babies; being pampered and looked after; it was supposed to be their new purpose when playing with children. Sun and Moon were not only meant to look after them, but let the children learn to look after and take care of those smaller in size; like younger siblings for example. The dolls' purpose was educational in a safe way.

But of course, they never got to fill in that purpose, and the trauma from losing their home, being separated from the same body and mind, trying to adjust into smaller, much clumsier babydoll bodies... it made their lives harder to an extent their new coding did not have resources to surface.

And then they were made to stay hidden, in the hands of someone who didn't quite understand how advanced they were, the loneliness of sitting in the closet until the sun went down for years and years. Until Moon saw the fire in the distance. And the events that followed to make them meet Chill.

So, what has changed when their doll code has been able to surface? After they'd had room to heal, a place to be themselves and enjoy things they never even thought of before?

First of all, Sun and Moon have been finding themselves a bit more... childish.

They knew their original coding was designed to enjoy child-like activities, they worked with children after all. But the way they'd sometimes react to things, enjoy something, get upset or overly confused like kids do, was new. It wasn't as extreme, and it wasn't as unbearably annoying and hard to fix like some children were sometimes, but it was new.

Sunny learned the love of being cradled close to Chill's chest and falling asleep during his charge comforting. It wasn't only after nightmares or just from the fear of being lonely anymore. It was the comfort he found in the position, like a baby sleeping in its mother's arms. He just loved it.

Moony found a new side of himself too, after getting more comfortable showing his vulnerabilities to the human. He needed stimuli. And to everyone's surprise, he found it with his own thumb. He became a thumb sucker.

Chill tried to offer him a binky, but Moon didn't like it and gave it to Sunny instead. That's fine, Chill used to be a thumb sucker too until they were 6 years old.

Moon's favourite place to nap became Chill's lap. When they were working on the computer, watching something, or just sitting down, a flash of something blue could be seen and then there was a doll curled up on their lap like a cat. Chill became very used to having a lap warmer on their thighs as soon as they were about to lower their butt somewhere.

Crying was allowed. Sometimes things got a bit harsh with the confusing new feelings and traumatising memories for such small bodies. Hugs and cuddles were given, tears were wiped away; Chill was more than ok providing a safe place for the dolls to let all their feelings out and helped through. The human might have not been very sure about their own emotions all the time, but robot feelings were a bit clearer than their own human feelings sometimes. Funnily enough.

Despite Sunny and Moony finding new types of emotions and needs after living with Chill, their original caretaker code did not vanish. No, they were still parenting Chill like they were one of the kids in the Daycare sometimes, and offering comfort to the human when they were in desperate need of it. Chill loved their little dolls like their own children or pets, and the dolls loved Chill like their guardian or best friend.

And then, one day, Chill brought another small robot to their house...