#as three of the weeks actually kind of work with fics i'd been thinking about so it's a good excuse to write them

[pynkhues]

sooooooo... i see you reblogged kinktober post. do you have any plans for the event? 👀

[revasserium]

hiii i'm a new follower and i love your writing so much

ik u said no requests in ur bio but i just finished reading ur sanji fic.. so even if ur still not taking requests i'd just like to throw in an idea that u may or may not feel like using in the future, up to you (i'm requesting this with opla sanji in mind but if u wanna use it for zoro that's cool too)

k so imagine reader being invited to a friend's wedding, & being excited to go until they find out their ex is coming too (with their partner of some amt of yrs). so now reader is pressured to bring someone w/ them & ends up asking their best friend sanji bc they don't want others thinking they're still hung up on the past.

wedding dress

opla!sanji; 6,544 words, pining with a happy ending, fluff and a tad of angst, flirting, lovesick!sanji, whipped!!!!sanji, no "y/n", zeff is a whole mood, confessions, sanji-appropriate nickname usage, modern!au?

summary: you invite sanji to be your plus 1 at a wedding

a/n: im so sorry this took so long. but. better late than? never? also, there is a tiny bit of rehashing for ep 6 of the live action for sanji and zeff's relationship so... spoilers?

It’s a chilly, overcast kind of day when the call comes in. And in retrospect, Sanji thinks he should’ve known better when he’d seen your name on the caller ID. He’d hesitated, because by god if it wasn’t his New Year's Resolution to get the hell over you this year, but it’s almost December again and he still can’t help the way his heart races at the sound of your voice.

“Hey sweetheart — long time no talk!” he answers after a brief moment of contemplating his entire life, dusting his flour-covered hands on his apron.

“Hey! Sorry for calling so… out of the blue…” your voice is still as sweet as ever, and the way his stomach twists at the tinkle of your nervous laughter makes him want to kick himself. Still, he forces himself to stay calm, clearing his throat as he checks the oven — it’s almost done pre-heating.

“Now you know what I said about actin’ a stranger — just because you moved halfway across the entire world doesn’t mean we ain’t best friends anymore, right?”

It’s what you’d said when he’d been standing at the airport, three seconds from dropping to his knees and begging you not to go. But he hadn’t, because he knew how hard you’d worked for this — for this opportunity abroad, to study art in the birthplace of the Renaissance itself, in the heart of Italy.

“And… you might be able to come visit me, right?” you’d said, rocking on the balls of your feet, your eyes full of what Sanji could only call false hope — which is always, always the worst and most painful kind.

Sanji had swallowed and nodded and said something or other about Europe and fine dining, but there’s a terrible, prickling heat eating up the back of his neck and a voice that’s screaming at him to pull you to him and kiss you. He doesn’t. And he regrets it to this day.

“Ah — right… I’m actually calling because… I’ll be in the area in about a week and…”

Your voice pulls him out of his reverie and he clears his throat, hitches a smile to his face that he knows you can’t see but he’s sure you can hear.

“Oh! That’s great, darling! You’ve gotta come for a drink, I’ll whip up all your favorites — we can make a night —”

“It’s actually for a wedding.”

There are a few moments in everyone’s lives when they learn the true meaning of a thing for the very first time — elation, pride, stomach-twisting guilt, and… fear. True fear, the kind of fear that shakes the muscle from your bones and sends them tingling, threatens to overwhelm you with numbness. Fear, that pushes adrenaline through you like a drug, forces the world into a terrifying, all-consuming focus.

Sanji feels the fear coursing through him, wild and contentious at your words.

A wedding.

Your wedding? Perhaps?

He can’t bear to think of it; he’s so terrified he can barely breathe.

Then comes the moment after, the wave of everything else that the fear had washed away — confusion, anger, guilt (always guilt, for some reason), because isn’t he supposed to be happy for you? For you, the person he loves most in this entire world, to find love, to know happiness. He should. He should.

“Oh.”

Sanji sags back against the hard, metal counter. Almost mindlessly, he reaches into his pockets with shaking hands, digging around for a smoke.

Your breath is soft in his ear, too far across the phone line and a thousand miles of ocean.

“I originally wasn’t even planning on going — she’s not a very close friend — we had like one class together but —”

And within the span of a minute, Sanji also learns relief. The kind that melts the world around you into sizzling butter and champagne bubbles. The kind that makes you want to lie down on the ground and scream.

“— it was so close to your restaurant so I said yes but I didn’t know he was gonna be there and —”

You’re still talking, rambling like you do. And it takes nearly everything inside Sanji to pull himself back to the conversation.

“Sorry, love, who did you say was gonna be there?”

“My ex — you know the one —”

Sanji grimaces, flicking on his lighter with still-shaking fingers.

“Mm, yeah I do. The tall, dark-haired bastard who —”

“Yeah well — he’s gonna be there too and I just —” he hears you swallow hard and take a long, steadying breath. An unnameable something is calcifying in the depths of his stomach as he waits for you to collect yourself.

Curiosity? Why had you called like this, so suddenly, about a wedding where your ex was going to be? Concern? Were you thinking of going back to him?

But slowly, as you stutter through your next few words, the unnameable thing obtains a name — dread.

“— I just don’t think I could do it myself, y’know? And — and you were the one who got me out of it wh-when I decided to break it off with him so…”

Sanji takes a long drag of his cigarette and casts his eyes up at the high, white-slabbed ceiling of the kitchen, scored with long strips of bright, fluorescent lighting that floods the entire room in a direct, unforgiving glow.

He closes his eyes and counts to three.

“Course I’ll come with you, darlin’. It —” he wets his lips, taps off a bit of ash from his cigarette, and sucks in through his nose, clearing his throat of the words still lodged there, “— it’d be my honor.”

Relief — he hears it in your voice, and by gods he can almost see it — the way your whole face would light up, washed as if by the setting sun, your eyes wide and dark, your cheeks flushing his favorite fucking shade of pink and —

“Thank you, thank you, thank you! I really owe you for this one —”

Sanji makes a valiant effort at a nonchalant chuckle; it comes out sounding like a dog with a bit of bone stuck in its throat instead.

“Nonsense — what are best friends for, anyway?”

There’s a tiny pause where Sanji can feel the words best friend scraping along the insides of his mouth, barbed and harsh, leaving his tongue feeling raw and metallic.

“You really are the best friend anyone could ask for,” your voice is soft and honest and Sanji wants nothing more than to chuck his phone into the industrial blender.

You tell him that you’ll send him the details, that you can’t wait to see him soon, that you’ve got a world and a half of catching up to do, that you’ll buy him so, so many drinks, and that you’ll come bearing presents. He laughs at the right times, makes soft noises of consent and agreement, and when finally, finally you tell him goodbye, he clicks off the phone and takes another long drag of his smoke.

And then, he whips his hand back and throws the cigarette butt into the large sink, where it tinks against the metal and sizzles sadly in the murky dishwater.

“Real sucker for punishment, aren’tcha, lil’ eggplant?”

Sanji groans, turning around to find Zeff with his arms folded, the hip to his bad leg propped against a counter.

“Will you fuck kindly off — can’t you see I’m going through a thing here?”

Zeff snorts, clunking unevenly towards him.

“You been going through that thing for the last year and a half since you chickened outta askin’ her to stay so —”

“I didn’t chicken out — I — it was her dream to go to Florence and study —”

“And what was your dream then, ey?”

Sanji bangs his palm against the counter and sighs, “It’s not like I could leave you here with —”

“With what? A thriving restaurant business that I started? A guest list out the door and round the corner —”

“I — I helped!”

Zeff rolls his eyes, “Ah sure ya did, but I never asked you to, did I?”

Sanji huffs, pressing his tongue to the roof of his mouth to stop the torrent of horrible, sad, acrid things he could say and could never mean, so he swallows them back down. When he looks up next, Zeff is still standing there, but there’s a softness around his eyes.

He opens his mouth a few times, but eventually, all he says is, “The oven’s over heatin’.”

Sanji swears and jumps up to tug open the oven door. A wave of hot air whooshes out and nearly catches him in the face. Behind him, he can hear Zeff’s dark, gravelly chuckle, and the dull clunk of his wooden leg.

“You burn the kitchen down, you pay for it.”

And then he’s gone again, leaving the door swinging behind him, and Sanji very much alone with the too-hot oven and a counter full of things he can’t really remember the recipes for anymore.

Nearly a week later, Sanji finds himself standing at the airport, rocking on the balls of his feet, nearly in the exact same place as he’d been a year and a half prior. Except this time, you’re not walking away from him. You’re walking back towards him. He wonders if there’s a name for deja-vu in reverse and comes to the realization that that’s just called… a memory.

And memory seems to work in strange ways now, images superimposing themselves on top of one another — the flicker of a film lens, the bat of an eyelash, the shadow of a smile crimping the corner of your lips. All of this, he sees in the here and now, but he sees it in the air around you too, shimmering and mirage-like — all his memories and dreams of you layered over the shape of you. Your memory like a ghost of itself, trailing behind you as you walk towards him, a shy smile on your face, your cheeks flushed from travel and the cold and —

He doesn’t let himself hope. Not this time.

“Hey!” your voice is just as bell-like as he remembers it, pitched a little higher than it usually is, probably out of nervousness. But it still feels like a kick to the guts. Sanji forces himself to smile.

“Hi, love,” he says, leaning down as you reach him, but the motion aborts halfway because — is it still appropriate to hug you like he’d always done? To press his lips to your cheek or your hairline and revel in the bright citrus of your shampoo, to soak in the butter and cream of your skin like he used to?

There’s an awkward half-second pause before you’re standing up on tip-toe and Sanji’s heart nearly drops out of his ass as you lean in. But then — your lips skim by his cheek and your arms are around him, and stupid, stupid, stupid heart — thundering in his chest like horses or hooves or fists or thumping rabbit’s feet — leaping into his throat and pattering against the base of his tongue as he wraps his arms around you and holds you close. But it’s not close enough. It’s never close enough.

He breathes and distantly, a part of him notes that you still use the same shampoo.

“Hi…” your voice is warm by his ear, a bit muffled, but he can’t help the way it makes him shiver, “It’s… so good to see you.”

He nods, not trusting his own voice to do the normal thing and, oh, you know — work.

“I’ve — I’ve missed you.”

He makes a noise somewhere between a laugh and a cough as he nods again. He feels your arms slackening around him and a fierce, terrifying thing is flapping its wings in his stomach, screeching at him not to let you go. But he does — like he did before.

“I — I missed you too,” he says, though his voice sounds flat and scratchy and he clears his throat again.

A dozen different expressions flicker across the lovely planes of your face and finally, it settles on endeared exasperation.

“Please don’t tell me you still work through like three packs of smokes a day.”

Sanji laughs then, shaking his head as he reaches over for your luggage, “Nah — well, maybe not three but —”

You whack him softly on the arm.

“I actually tried to quit right after you left.”

“You did?”

Sanji shrugs as the pair of you start to make for the exit. He feels your gaze go slanted and shrewd.

“How long’d that last?”

He smirks, “Few hours.”

You whack him again and this time, he dodges out of the way just to bask in the bright spark of your laughter as you chase after him.

“Seriously though, you know how terrible they are for you!”

“Sure do,” he says, tugging one out of his pocket as soon as he clears the airport doors, pivoting left towards the parking garage. You have to jog to keep up with his longer strides, your breaths misting the air between you in silvery puffs.

He makes no move to light it as he helps toss your luggage into the trunk of his car, sliding into the driver’s seat. You huff as you wiggle into the passenger’s side.

“Then why —”

Sanji waits patiently for you to buckle your seatbelt before pulling out of the parking space, one hand on the steering wheel, the other resting soft against the middle console. He slates you a glance.

“Cause,” he says, fixing his eyes back on the road, an easy smirk twisting his lips, “it’s a metaphor.”

You groan, sinking into the seat, “Just because you read John Green one time —”

“Oi, I’ll have you know I read his entire bibliography after you showed him to me.”

“Ugh, whatever you manic-pixie-dreamgirl-loving ass.”

“Yeah, whatever — you actual manic pixie dreamgirl.”

You smile and Sanji allows himself the brief and aching delusion that the past year and a half didn’t happen, that you never left, and that you’d never leave. That you’d always be here, warm and laughing and just within reach.

The rest of the car ride is spent in mundane conversation, in how was your flight and tell me about Florence and how’s Zeff doing these days and I wanna know about your latest dish. It’s light and easy, and Sanji lets it warm the air around him. By the time he pulls into the front of your hotel, all the unsaid words from the past year and a half have soaked through his socks and into his shoes. It sloshes out onto the pale pavement as he opens the car door.

He helps you roll your luggage up into the lobby and tells you he’ll be here at 3PM to pick you up tomorrow. The venue’s just three blocks away.

“Yeah, I’ll see you then,” you say, pursing your lips, waving as he backpedals towards the automatic doors.

“You’ve still gotta send me pictures of the dress you’re wearing — I gotta find a matching tie.”

You laugh, a bit embarrassed, “Right — and here I thought I might surprise you.”

Sanji freezes, eyes wide.

“O-oh! Er — well, you can just — just tell me what color or —” he waves vaguely, “send a picture of a corner of the dress — just so I have something to color match against —”

You nod, eyes glittering, eager once more, “Oh! That’s a good idea — I’ll do that.”

“Great,” Sanji says.

“Great!” you echo, perhaps a bit too chipper.

He gives you one last smile before turning and striding from the hotel, firing up the engine as calmly as he can, forcing himself not to turn and check if you’re still watching him through the brightly lit, sliding glass doors. He allows himself a glance through the rear-view mirror as he pulls away from the drive and his heart skips a beat when he realizes you’re still standing there, right in the middle of the lobby, fingers wrapped around the handle of your suitcase, your eyes fixed on the shadow of his retreating car.

He lights the smoke the second he turns the corner, your shadow no longer in his rear-view mirror.

That night, Sanji dreams in fits and leaps, flashing images and long, sticky streams of could-have-beens —

He dreams of your laughter in a white-tiled kitchen, of powdered sugar and eggshells cracked and leaking on an exposed wood counter, chopsticks clinking against a thick glass mixing bowl. He dreams of your voice echoing off the shower tiles as you sing off-key, the way you used to when you’d sneak into his college dorm for movie night and a midnight snack. He dreams of coffee mugs and errant rose petals and dandelion seeds blowing in the wind. He dreams of dancing with you in his arms in a darkened dorm room that morphs into a bigger room with a softer carpet, one that he’d never seen before but he knows implicitly (like bodies know) is his home — it has pictures on the walls, trinkets lining the far bookshelf, your favorite scarf draped over the back of the well-worn sofa.

In the dream, you pull your head back from where it's pillowed against his shoulder and smile up at him. He leans down to kiss you, his lips hovering half an inch from yours.

Sanji jerks awake to the sound of his alarm, fingers fumbling for his phone, groaning as he smashes the orange snooze button and flips over to bury his face back into his lumpy pillow.

“Ah… fuck.”

It’s not the first time he’s had that dream, and he knows it won’t be the last. But it’d been so real that night, real enough to make him wonder if it just might come true.

He rubs at his sleep-crusted eyes and peers blearily at all the notifications on his screen. There’s a text from you with a picture attached. He clicks it open to find a short message attached to the picture — I really did want to surprise you…

He blinks for three seconds at what looks like a blurry picture of studded black silk before he remembers —

“Send me a picture of a corner of the dress — just so I have something to color match against.”

He allows himself a laugh, swinging his feet out of bed even as he types back — you coulda just told me it was black…

He watches the three little dots appear and disappear a few times, chewing on his bottom lip, before the text appears — well there are different shades of black, right???

Sanji laughs, shaking his head.

sure there are.

A string of tongue-out emojis, followed by an equally long string of middle-finger emojis.

He spends the rest of the morning fussing over which specific black tie to wear before settling on one that he’s quite sure is the exact same shade of black as your dress (and yes, he does have quite the collection of black ties), before tugging his best suit out to press.

It shouldn’t feel so easy, slipping back into the rhythm of things, of texting and smiling and hearing your voice in his head when he reads your texts. It shouldn’t feel so easy to forget the months of radio silence and guilt, the oppressive, resonant weight of what might have been if either of you had done a single thing different that day at the airport — he wonders if he should’ve reached for your hand, he wonders if you’d ever looked back.

He hadn’t. He couldn’t let himself.

He is waiting for you in the lobby at 2:45, wearing a hole into the plush Persian carpet, collecting strained looks from the concierge who had assured him three times in the last four minutes that he’d already rung up to your room and that you’d said you were on your way.

“Wow, you’re early — sorry I took a while — I couldn’t figure out what to do with my hair and —“

Sanji lifts his head and thinks distantly that all those rom-com cliches of a guy looking up, time itself slackening, the room smearing sideways around him, the music going slow, the lighting soft — all of it is painfully, startlingly true after all.

Because there you are, walking towards him, still saying something, but he can’t make out the words anymore because time isn’t really a thing anymore, is it? He can’t focus on that and also the dark glimmer of your dress, the way the neckline skates just beneath your collarbones, barely skimming the skin there before it slips down along the slope of your shoulders in a way that makes his breath unspool inside his chest like loose threads.

And in the slanted, ethereal light of the winter afternoon, your dress looks like it’s cut from a swath of darkest midnight, moonless and scattered with stars.

You blush as Sanji attempts to pick his jaw up off the floor and hitch his lips into something resembling a smile.

“W-wow… you look…”

Your smile is shy as you press your palms against the dress, looking down, “Thanks… you don’t think it’s… too much?”

Sanji shakes his head, feeling dazed.

“No! I mean — it’s —“ his mouth is dry, drier than he ever remembers it being, and suddenly it’s very hard to swallow and Sanji isn’t even sure the muscles in his neck know how to perform the action, let alone force words out alongside it. He struggles for another few seconds, his jaw working furiously as his eyes skitter down and back up the shape of you.

“You look… perfect,” he says, finally, because the word has been ricocheting around his chest like a stray bullet and he had to let it out somehow.

“Thanks — you don’t look so bad yourself,” you say, your voice breathy in a way that makes Sanji’s stomach squeeze.

He offers you his arm, and you glide forward to take it.

He drives the three blocks to the wedding venue in a daze, his mind spinning slow and off-axis, tilted so by the gentle waft of your perfume, the lullaby of your voice as you chatter nervously about this and that and the weather, I mean, can you believe it’s gonna be an outdoor wedding in the winter? He wonders briefly why you’re so nervous, and then he’s reminded of the reason he’s even here at all — your ex will be here. Ah. Right.

“Ready?” he asks, offering you his arm again as the both of you follow the meandering stream of arriving guests toward the paved outdoor garden area where the ceremony is due to take place.

“No, but… you’re here so…” you let out a breath and for a second, Sanji almost thinks he hears the hint of an ache in your voice. An ache like an old scab picked at too many times, like unrequited love, perhaps. It’s an ache with which Sanji is so intimately familiar that he immediately tamps it down and vows not to think about it again for the rest of the night.

There are stiff-backed waiters wandering around with plates of hors d’oeuvres and thin flutes of bubbling pink champagne.

Sanji grabs two glasses and hands you one.

“Cheers, then.”

“Bottoms up,” you say, tossing back the entire flute in one.

Sanji cocks his eyebrows, grinning as he follows suit, smacking his lips.

“Alright then, I guess if that’s how you’re playin’ —”

Your laughter is light, if a little strained, but he remembers how quickly bubbly drinks tend to go to your head and makes a concerted effort to slow down. You make it all the way through the actual ceremony without bumping into your ex, though you do lean over and grab Sanji’s hand as the bride and groom exchange vows — something about love being a choice, one that they promise to make every morning of every day for the rest of their lives — and he looks over to find you misty-eyed, bottom lip caught beneath your teeth.

“Sap,” he whispers, leaning over. It earns him a choked laugh and a half-hearted elbow in the ribs, but it’s worth it to see the tension melt from your shoulders.

Sanji turns back towards the bride and groom, exchanging rings now, and unbidden comes the images of you and him standing where they are — you in a dazzling white gown, him still in a dark suit, but one perhaps of more expensive material and much better tailoring. He thinks about all the things he might promise you, wonders at what you might promise him in return —

“I promise to love and cherish you —” you might say.

“I promise to make all your favorite foods,” he might say.

“I promise not to touch your emotional support le creuset pans.”

“I promise not to make you taste all my experimental dishes —”

“Okay, but what if I want to —”

He imagines the way the crowd would titter, how the officiator would affectionately clear his throat. He imagines Zeff’s warm, well-worn laughter, rough and a little torn at the edges because he’s just as sentimental as the next guy behind all the beard and gruffness. He imagines the crowd smiling up at the pair of you, the way you’d squeeze his hands to get the both of you back on track —

He jerks out of his reverie as you tug your hand away from his to clap, and it takes him a beat to realize that everyone else is clapping and cheering too. He blinks — the bride and groom are kissing, pulling apart as the music swells around them and they link hands to walk back down the aisle.

Sanji clears his throat and hurriedly gets up to clap as well, his eyes trailing the radiant smiles on both the newlyweds’ faces. Another sharp ache sings through him but he feels your hand in his again and he can’t tell if he wants to grip you tighter or pull away. They’d both hurt just as much, wouldn’t they?

“C’mon, let’s get inside — I wanna judge the catering with you,” you whisper, your breath tickling his cheek, and he knows without having to look that you’re standing on your tiptoes, your chin almost propped on his shoulder.

He fights down a bout of shivers and smiles, “My favorite part of any formal event, honestly.”

You laugh, “I know — me too.”

So you spend the entire dinner service whispering to each other about the food —

“God, this steak is so well done I think it just might dislocate my jaw —”

“What’s in this sauce?”

Sanji chews thoughtfully before making a face, “Dunno, but it’s got oregano.”

“Oh the cake looks good though.”

“Yeah, but we both know how much sugar and butter goes into that right?”

You nudge him with an elbow, “Weird, cause I’m pretty sure happiness is also made of sugar and butter.”

“Well for me, it’s always been…” but Sanji trails off, biting his tongue. No. He can’t say that — not now. Not here.

Because for him, happiness has always just been you.

So instead, he swallows passed his own mouthful of regrets and attempts a lopsided grin. And thankfully, your attention is drawn elsewhere by a loud peal of laughter before he has to make a shitty joke about happiness being a well-lit kitchen and a gas-lit stove.

You’re both at least a bottle of champagne deep when it finally happens, inevitable as a summer storm — your ex saunters up to you on the dance floor, sporting a grease-slick grin, eyeing you up and down like a piece of well-cut meat. Sanji is at the bar, grabbing more drinks and you’re catching a breath of fresh air just outside the dance hall.

“Well, well, well — look who it is.”

Sanji turns sharply at the sound of the voice, his eyes narrowing — Asshat. Fantastic. The bartender is putting the finishing touches on two custom cocktails but blinks, confused, as Sanji swipes both drinks out from the bar and casts him a hurried grin.

“Thanks mate, these look great,” Sanji raises the cocktail glasses at the bewildered bartender before hurrying off, slowing ever so slightly as he reaches you, straightening his spine and smoothing out his shoulders.

“Here, got them special-made for you,” he says, pressing the cocktail into your hand, cutting into something that Asshat is saying.

“Oh! Thanks — oh wow, this looks so good!” you beam up at him, taking a sip.

“Oh wow, didn’t know you were still hangin’ out with this guy,” Asshat says, hooking his thumbs into his belt-hoops and jutting out his chin.

You frown, pressing your lips, “Excuse me?”

Asshat scoffs, posturing, “I mean, when we broke up, it was cause o’him right? So I just thought you might’ve realized what a mistake that was and —”

Sanji barely has the time to feel offended before Asshat is gasping and stumbling back. You’d tossed the remainder of your drink straight into his face.

“What the —” Asshat sputters, his fists clenching, but quick as anything, Sanji swipes out a leg that catches him right in the shins and makes him stumble. In one fluid movement, Sanji pushes his own drink into your hand before reaching out the other arm to steady the now flailing Asshat, catching him around the shoulders.

“Whoa there! Seems like you’ve had a bit too much to drink, my friend!” he says, loud enough for the people around you to hear. He thumps Asshat on the back in a would-be kind gesture before tugging him close, still coughing, and hissing in his ear —

“Listen here, you asswipe — you’re gonna turn around and walk away and stay the fuck away from us for the rest of this wedding, you understand? I’ve got plenty more o’this for ya if you don’t, got it?”

Sanji scuffs his foot along the gravel-covered ground in a motion that could easily be mistaken as fidgeting, but you know better. And so, it seems, does Asshat, who scoffs and shoves Sanji off him with a glare, but after another second, straightens his drink-soaked jacket, turns, and stalks away.

You let out a long breath, swallowing hard.

“Hey darlin’… you alright?” Sanji turns and bends down to level his eyes with yours.

“Y-yeah — thanks — you didn’t need to —”

“Nah. Course I did — it’s why you invited me, right?” he allows himself a lopsided grin that borders on self-deprecating and you look up, eyes wide.

“No! I — that’s not —”

“It’s okay, love — I promise I’m not offended —” Sanji’s babbling, he knows he is — but he has to, because the alternative of letting you speak, of letting you confirm what he already knows to be true (that you’ve only ever seen him as a best friend, that you love him in all the ways except for the one way he wants you to, in the one way he loves you) is too much. He tucks his hands in his pockets and shrugs up his shoulders, pulling them up towards his ears like armor.

And then you lean in and kiss him, and every single word he’s ever thought of saying just to fill the silence turns to mist and mornings on his tongue. His mind turns blissfully blank and when he regains consciousness (or has he? Because isn’t this the dream he’s dreamt every waking moment of his life for the past… however many years?), he thanks every god he can name that he feels his fingers in your hair, his other hand cupping the soft curve of your jaw. He tastes your uncertainty against his lips and presses in, hoping, praying that if he just kissed you hard enough you might understand.

When you pull away, he can’t help the satisfied purr that curls up his chest at the pinkness in your cheeks and the slightly glazed-over look in your eyes.

“O-oh — sorry I —”

Sanji shakes his head, leaning in to push his forehead against yours.

“Nah, nah, nah — if you tell me that was a mistake now I might just turn around and never speak to you ever again — because don’t you dare —”

You let out a helpless laugh, shaking your head as you reach up to cover his hands with yours. It’s only then that he realizes they’d been shaking. He swallows and he thinks he can taste every single morning after for the rest of his goddamn life in the whisper of your breath.

“It — it’s not, I wasn’t —” you close your eyes and Sanji holds you still, foreheads still pressed. Distantly, Sanji is aware that people are cheering, that more drinks are being poured, that the dance floor is probably a mess. But he doesn’t care. He doesn’t think he’ll care about anything else ever again — why would he? Now that he’s got you.

“Shh… take your time, love… we’ve got all the time in the world.”

He feels the relief take you, and then you’re falling into him, burying your face in the lapel of his suit jacket, probably smearing it with your foundation. Vaguely, Sanji considers framing it when he gets home.

“I’m… I’m sorry it took so long — I’m sorry I didn’t — that I wasn’t…” you curl your fist into the material of his shirt and thump him lightly on the chest, even as he laughs and wraps his arms around you.

“I know, darlin’… I know.” Sanji presses his lips into your hair and can’t help a smile.

Finally. Finally.

Your hair smells like citrus shampoo.

Finally.

“I thought about you every single day,” you admit, your voice small when you finally pull back to look at him again. He thinks there might be tears in your eyes, or maybe it’s just the starlight caught in the thick night sky of your lashes.

“Did you now?” he asks, fumbling for some semblance of normalcy amidst this night of revelations.

You nod, fervently, and god he wants to kiss you again. Briefly, he wonders if he should, if he’s allowed to now. Instead, he smiles and cocks his head.

“So? What changed?” and he can’t help the tiny note of hurt out of his voice, the slightest shiver of disbelief. After all, cynicism is a hard habit to break.

Especially after so many years of practice.

You shrug, sighing, “Nothing — everything. I mean — I’d always… but then I thought — you had your career as a chef and I didn’t even know what I wanted to do with my life. But it —” you lick your lips, and Sanji nearly breaks when you tear your eyes away from his. He wants to force you back, to soak in the dark and bright of your gaze till he can see the world exactly as you see it.

“It’s always been you…” you say.

At this, Sanji does break. He tips your face towards him with a thumb and a forefinger and leans in, waiting for you to pull back, bracing for it. But you don’t — instead, you press in and close the space between you again, and again, and then again.

He wants to tell you — he needs to tell you that it’s always been you too, that there’s never been anyone else. From the moment he first laid eyes on you, he’s known, even though both of you were children back then, and neither of you had any idea what “love” actually meant. He knew then, too.

“Love…” his voice trails off, but you smile, and he knows you know, knows that you can hear it in the rawness behind his voice, in the softness of his breath, in the way it shakes.

You make to kiss him again. But your lips hover half an inch from his and you stop. Sanji sighs.

“What — why’d you stop?”

Your smile is sweet and sharp, honey glinting on a razor’s edge, and he knows that he has you. And maybe that he’s always had you and was just too blind, too terrified, to see it.

“Haven’t you heard? It’s a metaphor.”

Sanji groans, “Fuck your metaphors.”

You bat your lashes, pulling an expression of mock affront onto your face.

“Well at least wine me and dine me first —”

Sanji licks his lips, “What’dyou think I’ve been trying to do for the last ten years?”

Your breath catches.

“Oh.”

Sanji smirks and kisses you again, slowly this time, languid and deep. Unhurried. He luxuriates in the way you go soft in his arms, in the way he can feel the gentle hitch of your breath as he runs his tongue along the edges of your teeth, coaxing you towards him, closer and closer and closer.

The hardest, angriest part of him wants to swallow you whole, bite down just to hear you hiss, to taste your blood on his tongue. To make you feel even a sliver of the pain he’d felt. He tamps it back down — there’s time for that later.

Instead, he forces himself to pull back and allows himself the satisfaction of watching you chase him, pursing your own lips with a bashful look away, your cheeks dark.

“So,” Sanji takes half a step back, puffing out his chest in the best imitation of a fuckboy at a wedding party, “wanna get outta here?”

You let out a helpless laugh, falling into his side. He lets the sound ring through him like so many silver bells.

“Yeah, I’d love that.”

He chuckles, looping an arm around your middle and leaning towards your ear.

“Your place, or mine?”

You roll your eyes, “I’m pretty sure I still have a toothbrush at your place.”

Sanji hums, “You still have a whole drawer at my place.”

You smile up at him, open and happy and sincere, “Then… I guess that’s your answer then.”

[imaginespazzi]

Our Little Corner of Eternity

A little peek into what happens after they find eternity

(In which an angst writer realizes maybe she kind of enjoys writing fluff and this is the outcome)

Pairing: Paige Bueckers X Azzi Fudd

Themes: Fluff, fluff and more fluff

Words: 2.0K

TW: Explicit-ish sexual content (right at the beginning if you want to skip like 10 line dents to avoid it)

A/N: Hello my lovelies <3 We're gonna keep doing these here because I think it works better. Anyways, I know I said I'd give y'all part 1 of the UCLA fic as "pick me up" and I tried so hard to finish it last night but everything I wrote was just so meh and I kinda need that series to be exactly what I want it to be. So instead y'all get an actual "pick me up" in the form of a Here's To Eternity epilogue/Valentine's day (week?) fic with fluffy happiness and cute little kids. Can y'all believe I chose to write fluff instead of angst? Like who am I? Anyways I wrote this all last night and so the editing exists but is *minimal* and so absolutely tell me any mistakes. One day I'll stop doing long author's notes I swear. Anyways (take a shot every time I say that), I hope y'all enjoy this and hopefully y'all get part 1 soon too! <3

***

“Happy Valentine’s day baby,” a voice whispers into Paige’s ears, followed by a litany of kisses being peppered onto her skin, starting at her cheeks and then to her neck. She smiles, eyes still closed, relishing the feeling of getting a rare quiet morning in her wife’s arms. Her hands come up to hold Azzi’s hips as she straddles her thighs. A low whine escapes her lips, when the younger woman bites against her shoulder, hands moving to caress Paige’s exposed stomach, fingers dancing experimentally against the waistband of boxers. 

“Don’t start something you can’t finish,” Paige warns; she doesn’t mean it one bit. 

“Who said I couldn’t finish it?” her wife retorts snarkily and Paige can hear the smirk in her voice, “when have I ever left you unfinished.”

Azzi continues to tease, sucking marks into Paige necks, her hands creeping into Paige boxers, hovering but not touching. Anticipation burns in her core as Paige thrusts against the brunette’s still fingers, trying to create the friction she’s desperately craving. 

“So wet for me already,” Azzi whispers, nibbling at Paige’s earlobe “but you have to ask for what you want sweetheart.”

She brushes her fingers lightly against the exact spot she knows Paige wants them, feather light and not anywhere near as hard or fast as the blonde needs it and is rewarded with a breathy moan. 

“Words baby, words,” Azzi presses her fingers a little harder as she places a kiss on the edge of Paige’s lips. She moves away immediately when the older woman tries to pull her into an actual kiss, giggling when Paige pouts, “morning breath.” 

“I hate you,” the blond breathes out, still not opening her eyes

“Do you now?” Azzi teases, finally swirling a finger inside, arching it just right and the sound Paige lets out is practically pornographic. 

She’s about to give in and beg like she knows Azzi has been waiting for her to do when a loud knock on the door throws any chance of morning sex out the window. 

“Mommy? Mama?” a small voice calls out. It’s almost offending the speed with which Azzi climbs off of her, immediately rushing into their ensuite bathroom to clean off her fingers. Paige groans at the loss of contact, eyes finally opening. 

“Maybe if we don’t say anything they’ll leave,” she says petulantly. 

“MOMMY? MAMA?” there’s two voices now, both screaming at the top of their lungs. 

“We’re sleeping,” Paige yells back but she can’t help the fond smile that appears on her face. 

“I swear I have three children,” Azzi mutters under her breath, as she reappears from the bathroom, shooting Paige a disapproving glance. Her wife raises her hands in mock surrender as she finally sits up. Shaking her head at Paige’s smirk, Azzi opens the door to reveal the two tiny little humans that she’s still a little shocked to say are her children. 

“Mommy,” the two of them squeal, grabby hands wrapping around Azzi’s knees and she can’t help but laught. She’s loved a lot of people in her life, her parents, her brothers, Paige but the love she feels for her twins, it’s a whole other level. She'd die for them in a heartbeat and if necessary, she’d kill the whole world for them. 

Paige’s heart swells as she watches Azzi fall to her knees and wrap their twins in a bear hug, pressing kisses that elicit happy giggles all over their chubby cheeks. She’s been lucky enough to earn plenty of accolades and awards but the three people tangled in a mess of limbs on her bedroom floor, this is her greatest gift.

“Guess you’ve all forgotten me,” Paige pouts, from where she’s still sprawled in the bed. That’s all it takes for the two children to catapult onto the bed, both of them jumping on top of Paige, their combined weight causing her to fall back down and laughter echoes through the bedroom. 

“We could never forget you Mama,” Sienna says diligently and she has a lisp from her first tooth falling out. Miles doesn’t say anything, simply burrowing his head further into Paige’s neck but she can feel him smiling against her skin. 

“Because I’m your favourite right?” Paige asks, voice very serious and it earns her an eye roll from Azzi. 

“Silly Mama,” Sienna shakes her head, tiny hands framing her mother’s face, “you can’t have a favourite mom.”

Azzi ruffles her daughter’s hair, coming to sit beside the three of them, “you’re so smart Si.”

“And me Mommy?” Miles peeks out from Paige’s neck, looking expectantly at his other mother. 

“You too Mi,” Azzi assures fondly. 

It’s funny how the couple of minutes of age difference between the twins shows so clearly sometimes. Sienna, the older one, always acts just a little bit wiser. Paige’s mom says she’s five going on fifty. And Miles is still a baby, one hand always attached to one of his mother’s as he watches his sister run wild. They couldn’t be more opposite. They couldn’t be more like a little part of Paige and Azzi. 

“We have a gift for you Mama,” Sienna says proudly jutting out her chest. Out of the corner of her eye, Paige can see Azzi grinning and her curiosity keens. 

“For me?” Paige pulls herself up, bringing her son who’s still clinging to her neck up with her, “what for darling?”

This time it’s Miles who replies matter-of-factly, “because it’s Valentine’s day Mama. And we love you.”

It shouldn’t affect her this much anymore, her son telling her he loves her. Miles has said it to her plenty of times at this point but each time he does, Paige feels her heart burst open in happiness. 

“Well, where is it?” she asks, pretending to search for it under Miles’s shirt and then behind Sienna’s ear. It earns her a shriek of laughter and to top it off, a radiant smile from her wife. 

“Go get it Si,” Azzi urges and obediently Sienna does as she’s told. 

“You know what it is?” Paige asks, raising her eyebrows. All she gets is a conspiratorial wink. 

“It’s a surprise Mama, Mommy can’t tell you,” Miles warns and Azzi immediately puts a hand to her lips and nods. 

It doesn’t take long for Sienna to come skipping back in. In her hands is a neatly wrapped box with a bow in it. It’s relatively small and Paige truly has no idea what it could potentially be but she knows she’ll love it no matter what. 

Sienna bounces back onto the bed, the spring of it all almost causing her to tumble backwards but Azzi’s instincts are far too sharpened to let that happen. She protectively pulls her daughter onto her lap, pressing a kiss against her temple. Of course they don’t have favourites but still it’s not hard to see how Sienna gravitates a little towards Azzi and Miles gravitates towards Paige. Azzi theorises it's probably because Miles is a little more like her and Sienna’s a little more like Paige. 

“Alright,” Paige says excitedly, as Sienna carefully hands her the present, “let’s see what this is.”

Two pairs of big doey bright eyes watch with bated breath as their mother carefully unwraps their present. The wrapping paper falls away to reveal a box covered in pictures of their family. There's pictures of her and Azzi, and pictures of them with the twins. Paige lets out a soft sob, as she realises by the slight messiness of it all that Miles and Sienna were clearly the ones to glue them onto the box. The little bits of glitter and stickers peeking out against the photographs gives it away. 

“You guys,” she whispers, “this is beautiful. I love it. Thank you.”

“You have to open it,” Sienna replies excitedly and Paige does as she’s told. She flips the lid open and gasps, eyes immediately darting towards Azzi. Her wife’s eyes are already moist as she smiles back softly. 

In the box is a set of four rings. Two large ones and two tiny ones. Not just any rings. Perfect replicas of that stupid ugly beautiful pink ring that Azzi had won at the pop-a-shot back when they were fifteen. And when she looks at them closer, Paige realises, her heart catching in her throat, that one of them isn’t a replica. It’s slightly rusted around the edges and Paige knows immediately that it’s the first ring she’d ever placed on Azzi’s fingers. 

“Baby,” she breathes, looking up at Azzi at a loss for what to say. A thousand and one memories are swirling in her head, all captioned with the thought of how did I get so lucky. 

“There’s four Mama,” Miles interrupts before Paige can say anything, “one for you, one for Mommy, one for Si and one for me!”

Paige lets out a tearful laugh at her son’s excitement as he points at each of them one by one, “I can see that Mi.”

“You have to put them on us,” Sienna tells her before thrusting her tiny hand out, “and then we’re gonna be connected for life.”

“We’re already connected for life you goof,” Paige says, as she slides one of the rings onto Sienna’s finger and then presses a kiss onto the younger girl’s palms. She turns to Miles and repeats the same actions. 

“Me first,” Azzi says when Paige turns to her, “you got to do it first when we got married.”

“It’s not a competition Az.”

“Says you,” Azzi smirks, before she grabs Paige’s hand and places the ring on her left hand, right above her actual wedding ring, “perfect.”

“You’re so cheesy. I can’t believe you kept it,” Paige says, her eyes shining as she slides the old ring onto Azzi’s ring finger. 

“It’s my engagement ring. Of course I kept it,” Azzi says with such sincerity, that Paige can’t help but lean over and kiss her. 

A chorus of “ew” breaks them apart and they’re met with two children and their crinkled noses. 

“Hmm what have I said about interrupting Mama and Mommy?” Paige asks sternly. 

“Not to do it,” the twins recite in unison. 

Paige turns to Azzi with a knowing smile, “do you think they’ve learned that Az?”

“You know what babe, I don’t think they have.”

“And what happens to children who don’t learn their lessons?” this time they both look at their children with matching grins. 

“They get TICKLED,” Paige and Azzi yell in unison. Miles and Sienna squeal with laughter as their mothers flip them onto the bed, poking at their stomachs. And it’s unclear whose hand is whose and whose legs are whose as the four of them become a pile of bodies, all of them meshing into one. 

“Okay, okay I think,” Azzi’s the first one to recover as always, “we should have pancakes for breakfast.”

“In heart shapes!” the twins squeal in unison. 

“Of course. How about the two of you go and brush your teeth and Mama and I will be down in a second okay?”

Miles and Sienna nod before jumping out of bed at their mother’s command. They sing some ridiculously out-of-tune song about pancakes as they skip out of the room. Immediately, Paige pulls Azzi back into her, slotting their legs together.

“You still owe me an orgasm.”

Azzi smiles, pressing her lips to Paige’s and then pulling away far too quickly, “I’ll give you plenty tonight. But you better match each one wifey.”

“You know I will,” Paige smirks, bringing her wife in for one last kiss before they both get up, ready for a not-so-quiet morning with their kind. 

Valentine’s day used to be different. Sometimes they never got out of bed. Sometimes they spent the day in another country. Sometimes they went on extravagant dates that felt straight out of a movie. Now, well, they’ll make pancakes with their kids and then probably watch some terrible children’s show that they’ve both, unfortunately, memorized the dialogues of. And in between, they’ll probably fall asleep on the couch and wake up to little guilty faces informing them about a spilled drink or a broken object. But it’s perfect really. As long as it’s the four of them and their little corner of eternity.

[steddieunderdogfics]

This week’s writer spotlight feature is:  Sidekick_Hero! @sidekick-hero has 82 works on AO3 in the Stranger Things fandom and 80 of them are in the Steddie tag!

@steddieas-shegoes recommends the following works by Sidekick_Hero:

I wore his jacket for the longest time

Suitcase of Memories

to the rhythm of eternity

Will you cleanse me with pleasure?

Sandy is an incredible writer and always manages to paint beautiful scenes regardless of rating or situation. She was one of the first authors I found in the fandom who really captured so many things about Steve and Eddie that I love. She continues to inspire me constantly! -- @steddieas-shegoes

Below the cut, @sidekick-hero answered some questions about their writing process and some of their recommended work!

Why do you write Steddie?

Great question! I'd been out of fandom and on a writing hiatus since 2016, the spark had just left me. Until early 2023, when I wanted to give Tumblr and fandom another try, but nothing really clicked until late summer when this wild-haired, bambi-eyed guy started popping up on my dash more and more. I fell in love with Eddie first, looked him up, and found that people were shipping him with this Steve character. I've never seen Stranger Things. I went to AO3 looking for some fic and the rest, as they say, is history. I fell in love with this ship the way you fall asleep, slowly, imperceptibly, and then all at once. I think what drew me in is these two characters who are so different from each other on the outside that you'd never think they'd work, but the closer you look, the more you can see how well they would fit, how good they could be for each other, bringing out the best in each other.

What’s your favorite trope to READ?

Wow, so many. I actually love the range of tropes this fandom offers. I'm a big fan of modern aus, especially ones where one or both are famous. If it's canon-based, I'm a sucker for Kas!Eddie. In general, I love it when one or both are creatures of any kind. I also love friends with benefits fics because they are idiots. Enemies to Lovers and Fake Dating are also high on my list. Last but not least: Porn with feelings and hurt/comfort.

What’s your favorite trope to WRITE?

That's tough. I enjoy writing all kinds of smutty tropes as one-shots. When there's more plot going on, I really enjoy the "exes to friends to lovers" trope, just because as someone in their 30s, I look back on past relationships and hookups and realize what went wrong and how it could be different today, and I think that's something I can relate to a lot when I'm writing it for Steddie. I also love writing about second chances in general.

What’s your favorite Steddie fic?

It’s impossible to pick just one, sorry. I give you three with the disclaimer that there are so many more I could - and probably would - have picked on a different day. But I wanted to share some older ones in the spirit of what this blog is all about. the most remarkable thing about you standing in the doorway is that it’s you by greatunironic Keep it Steady, Eddie by outofmygourd Love blooms, love hurts, love prevails by corrodedbisexual (mishabawlins)

Is there a trope you’re excited to explore in a future work but haven’t yet?

Yes! I definitely want to explore some fantasy/creature fics (more outside of a pwp I wrote with Lake Creature Eddie), I already have the idea for Werewolf!Steve, and I really want to try my hand at Vampire!Eddie. I'm also super excited to finally get to work on a fake-dating trope fic for the summer exchange, I've been dying to do that. Last but not least, I really want to try writing an omega!verse at some point, I just don't have an idea yet.

What is your writing process like?

Pretty straightforward, I guess? It never really feels like a process, to be honest. I have an idea and I let it grow in my head (daydreaming, my beloved) until it has grown enough to become an actual fic, and then I sit down and write it out chronologically. Before I start writing, I need to know a few things about the story. I don't usually work with outlines or anything like that, but in my head I know where it starts, what the emotional beats and major plot points are, and how I want it to end. The rest I let unfold as I write. That's why I'm not the fastest writer (plus the whole not-native-English thing). Often the story tells me where it wants to go, so as long as I have the cornerstones, I let it flow.

Do you have any writing quirks?

Not sure if these are quirks, but my sentences tend to be very wordy. My dear friend @yournowheregirl used to comment on my fics when she beta-read them, "Another Sandy sentence. Make it multiple sentences." Also, I only write in present tense, even though I know most people prefer past tense, but it's too hard for me. Other than that, I can't have too many WIPs, I have to finish one story before I can start another.

Do you prefer posting when you’ve finished writing or on a schedule?

Post when I'm done writing, for sure. I hate waiting, I have the patience of a toddler.

Which fic are you most proud of?

I wore his jacket for the longest time, no question.  It's still so precious to me, especially because I got to write it with my platonic writing soulmate @legitcookie, but also because I got to really explore these characters and their growth in this story. It has so much of me in it and I'm really proud of how it turned out.

How did you get the idea for I wore his jacket for the longest time?

Actually, it wasn't all me. I just had this idea of them being kind of friends with benefits, but Eddie wants more than Steve is willing to give him, so they hook up one last time before Eddie sends Steve away for good. That was the original idea that inspired the prequel "we pass the ghosts that haunt us later". The idea for that actually came from a song, "we can never be friends" by mgk. Jen (legitcookie) would not accept the ambiguous (sad) ending, so she demanded that we fix it. So we decided to find a way to let them both grow as people apart and then rebuild their friendship, because only then would they have a real foundation for their second chance.

When writing I wore his jacket for the longest time, what was something you didn’t expect?

How much fun it would be to develop those OC side-characters, especially Mrs. Horowitz but also fucking Tom or even Fritz. It was also the very first time I collaborated with someone on a fic and I was a bit apprehensive if this would work out so I was surprised when I discovered how much I love writing with someone else.

What inspired to the rhythm of eternity?

My love for London, really. I am madly in love with this city and have explored it a lot, so I wanted to use my experiences in a fic. And when @tboygareth asked for a long distance relationship fic for our server holiday exchange, I knew this was my chance. Their meeting as well as the ending is heavily based on my own experiences.

What was your favorite part to write from Suitcase of Memories?

The dreams! They were so much fun to explore because there's a certain mood I wanted to set with them, that dreamy feeling mixed with events from another time period. Their first date and especially their first kiss is a close second, though, because the swing set scene is something I've been thinking about since I saw 13 going on 30 as a teenager.

How do/did you feel writing Suitcase of Memories?

To be totally honest, a bit stressed 😀 It was my first big bang and I was so glad to have Jen by my side, but then real life happened and I realized it's hard to write on deadline. BUT I still love this fic. Especially the theme of love as a choice, even if some cosmic interference gives you a second chance, you still have to WANT it, you still have to work for it and choose it, over and over again. I feel like we nailed that pretty well and I'm proud of us and this story.

What was the most difficult part of writing Will you cleanse me with pleasure??

The emotional setup, because it was a gift for Ger (@steves-strapcollection) and he wanted them to be disgustingly in love, but I also needed Eddie's condition to be something he kept from Steve at first for fear of losing him. Besides that, the logistics, really. So many tentacles, man. So many.

Do you have a favorite scene and/or line from any of your fics?

Okay, some very, very self-indulgent scenes I wrote are for my Runner!Steve verse. I am a passionate runner, and it was so much fun to write that love for Steve and to geek out about it in my writing. Another scene I'm very fond of is from my very first ST fic, "I'm tired of asking to settle the debt," and it's a scene where they're both kids and meeting for the first time, it's winter, and Eddie is doing an impression of a dragon with his breath.

Do you have any upcoming projects or fics you’d like to share/promote?

Well, by the time this comes out, I will have posted my reverse big bang fic "Emotional Motion Sickness" with art by the amazing @arimakes. There's also the summer exchange, in which I was lucky enough to claim my dear friend @starryeyedjanai's prompt, and the steddie big bang 2024. I'm also finishing the last chapter of "hold me close (I'm shaking apart)" and hope to post it soon. 

Outside of these questions, Is there anything YOU would like to add?

Yes, I want to thank everyone for making this project possible! This fandom has grown so much and there is so much amazing fic that easily gets buried under all the content, so having this project to give the writers of this fandom some visibility and love is precious to me. Thank you, really 💜🙏 Also, all my love to every single writer out there - you make my life and the lives of so many better by sharing your gift with us.

Thank you to our author,  Sidekick_Hero, and our nominator,  @steddieas-shegoes on tumblr! See more of Sidekick_Hero's works featured on our page throughout the day!

Writer’s Spotlight is every Wednesday! Want to nominate an author? You can nominate them here!

[lots-of-sun]

A/n: Somehow I always end up writing about people walking LOL. Also a lot of my fic titles come from song lyrics!

Tamao Serizawa x Fem!Reader

SO KISS ME

Working at a bookstore always had its interesting experiences, especially when I'm usually the only person on shift everyday. Despite still being in high school, I was always rostered on, I guess being in senior year was bound to have it's downsides. The boss was always so picky about who worked here, not that it really mattered as long as you were competent. But over the two years I'd been employed here, I seem to be the only one who stuck. Not that my boss was ever mean or harsh, just didn't accept lazy or disrespectful staff. That's how I always ended up on the same schedule every week. Not that I minded, consistency was oddly relaxing, not having to worry about what to do next, always knowing.

The shop is small, yet packed with book shelves and a single table seating area right at the front of the main floor, across from the counter. I'd always loved the vintage and cozy vibe this building had, tucked away on a back street, like a little treasure that you'd only be able to find if you looked hard enough or stumbled across by accident.

One thing that kept me around this job for so long, was the people. With every face that stepped through that entrance came a new story, a new corner of the world I'd never learned about, a new adventure. The odd sense of home I got from the regulars who frequented for the newest reads or even the classics, always put a smile on my face. Though there was someone who stopped by often, despite never buying anything.

Tamao Serizawa had slipped into my life fairly nonchalantly, so much so that I don't entirely remember ever meeting him in the first place. Though I do recall the first time I'd seen him, walking past the open doors of the bookstore about a year and a half ago. He'd been surrounded by his group of friends, laughing along with them. He hadn't noticed me back then, but that changed a few months later.

I had easily forgotten about seeing him, I saw almost a hundred faces a day, even if it was just from people watching when the store was dead. It was a Monday afternoon when he'd entered the shop with his usual gang, I'd been adding pricing labels to newly arrived books from behind the counter near the door. They all wore classic school boy uniforms, yet they all seemed to be tweaked differently, defining them to being individual. They'd piled in near the entrance and brushed off my offer for assistance, though a pair of eyes seemed to linger on me. Even after they had looked around and left without purchasing anything, I couldn't shake the feeling of having someone watching me. Though I tried to brush it off as nonchalantly as I could.

That was until they began to come in more frequently, sometimes it was the whole group and other times it was only two or three of them but Tamao was always amongst them. Soon, they'd started spending most afternoons in the small seating area near the front of the store, never reading but always talking, plotting things I'd only eavesdropped on when I got bored. It became apparent to me pretty quickly that they were a part of one of the neighboring gang schools, though I didn't judge, there was no point, not when I didn't know them. After their first few rendezvous, they began including me in conversations, some were incredibly trivial, the kind of chats you'd have with friends. And others were serious, asking for advice and even if I didn't know how to answer, I tried my best.

On most weekends, Serizawa came in alone. Browsing the visual novel section, making small talk and asking for recommendations. He was always more engaged and at ease when he was alone, like he had more time to think without someone talking in his ear all the time. It's something I found comfort in, getting to see two separate sides to the same person. I wonder if he was like this with his friends, if he was actually always this calm and I just overlooked it when he was surrounded by others. But I definitely grew attracted to this side of him and eventually began to watch him more often, even if it was brief glances in his direction.

Today was no different than any other, heading straight to work after my final class of the day, changing out of my uniform in the stores bathroom and relieving my co-worker from their shift. I head out to the main floor and take a seat on the wooden stool behind the counter. My eyes scan the open notebook that sits next to the cash register, going over the list of responsibilities I have to complete before closing the store for the night.

Then the entrance bell rings and I don't even need to look up to know who it is, I'd heard them before they even made it to the door. The familiar sound of chatter and heavy shoes against the hardwood floors makes me smile. I raise my head to see exactly the people I'd expected.

"Hey guys, finally decide to indulge yourselves in literature?" I joke, knowing the answer is a resounding no. I take in all of their appearances, looking how they always do, save for a few extra bruises. My eyes linger on Serizawa for a split second, his gaze already fixed on me by the time I look towards him.

"Not today, but maybe one of these days" Tokio speaks up first, over the chorus of greetings I received.

"I could use a good book" Tokaji mumbles, already heading over to the seating area with Tsutsumoto.

"Serizawa's definitely trying to indulge in something else" The Mikami brothers whisper to each other, snickering at their own teasing words. They earn a slap on the back of the head by the man himself, the same hand retracting to run through his short hair.

"Don't mind them, monkeys haven't had their banana today" Serizawa's voice is thick as he lunges towards the brothers who scurry away to join everyone else at the table. He turns back to me, giving a small smile. "Yellow suits you" He adds softly, referring to the crew neck sweater I wore, before turning to join the others.

I smile at his words, feeling my heart leap in my chest. My eyes follow him to where he sits, it's kind of odd seeing him so outwardly different when he is around his friends, knowing there's a whole other side to him. I need to stop staring before any of them notice, even worse if it's Tamao himself. I busy myself with the duties of the checklist that's been taunting me since I sat down, but don't miss the feeling of someone watching me.

I hadn't even noticed how late it had gotten until I come out from the back room and it's getting dark outside. Tamao and his gang had left not too long ago, having said their goodbyes before disappearing down the street, while I continued to pack up for the night.

I let out a sigh of relief, happy to be finally heading home. I double check that I've locked the doors properly before turning to start my walk home, maybe I'll catch a taxi instead, I'm tired tonight. But as I turn to my left, there he is. Tamao Serizawa, standing under a yellowed street lamp with a half finished cigarette hanging from his lips, which he exhales the smoke through his nose. He's facing me, watching me like he usually does. Except this isn't usual, he's never here when I close the store, not that I've noticed at least. But overall, he seems to have been waiting for me. He flicks the cigarette to the pavement and puts it out with his foot, clearing his throat as he takes a few slow steps towards me.

"Serizawa? Is everything okay?" I ask, a slight concern filling my voice. Blame it on the overthinking, but I jump to the conclusion he might need support, whether it be emotionally or physically. Though as he lets out a calm chuckle, I think he might want something else.

"I hope so" He responds shortly, a smirk ghosting his lips as he stops when he's close enough to talk more gently. "Sorry to make you worry, I just thought I could walk you home." He clears his throat, "It can get... lonely"

I sort of blink at him as I purse my lips, trying to hold back a smile at his reasoning. It was clearly an excuse but I let it slide, barely. I notice the way the corner of his lips quirk up and his eyes squint, obviously being aware of how blatant his defense is. Now we're both standing here, staring at each other in the dim light of the side walk, clearly trying not to laugh. He tries to break his expression but ends up falling into a deeper grin.

"Yep" I squeak out, closing my eyes as my voice cracks with a rising laugh. "It can, how thoughtful of y... you" My slight pause comes from the lurch of my body as I try my hardest not to laugh at the expression he's making, he looks like he's trying to hold in a sneeze and I probably don't look much different.

We both let out a small snicker at each other, which devolves into a chuckle and a laugh. It feels like I'm melting into this moment and the implications of why he'd want to walk me home has my heart racing. We try to compose ourselves, a small giggle here and there. He looks down at his shoes before back up, seemingly regained his previous demeanor, despite the curl of a smile on his lips.

"Let's go, it's late as is" He tries to be serious and I let him, let him be who he wants to be. I nod in agreement with him and as I begin to walk, he follows.

It's not long before we're in my neighborhood, I'd always lived close to where I worked, not wanting to have to take the packed trains everyday. We'd walked in near silence the whole way here. It didn't bother me though, if anything it was sort of endearing, not feeling like I have to talk all the time. Serizawa is the first to break the silence as we near my house.

"I don't want to mess this up" His voice is vulnerable, it almost shocks me into freezing but I match his slowing steps and look towards him. I open my mouth to speak, ask if somethings going on but he cuts me off before I can.

"You mean a lot to me, more than I thought you would. You were always beautiful to me and I couldn't stop myself from coming back to you, even when I wasn't sure. But now I am sure, I know how I feel and I don't want you to slip away without ever telling you." His voice is the calm, soft tone it always was when we were alone together and my heart leaps to my throat at the realization of what he's trying to say.

"Serizawa, are y-"

"I like you a lot and if you are willing, I'd love to take you out" He speaks again before I can finish my sentence. He seems so assured in what he's saying. A smile is now growing on my lips as I go to respond, to tell him I'd love to.

"Tama-" And once again, before I can say any more he interrupts, this time sounding slightly more nervous and he holds an unreadable expression. He brings his hand up to run his fingers through his hair.

"I understand if you don't feel the same way but I needed to at least tell you, I wouldn't be able to let you go if I didn't say anything" He concludes sincerely and this time he finally looks towards me. I can't help but grin and the heat that's rushes to my cheeks tells me I'm blushing. He looks unsure, like he thinks I might just start laughing at him.

"You know what I love about you?" I start, a small laugh escaping my lips. "How you let me finish my sentences" It's like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders as he mirrors my smile, giving a small chuckle. It's my turn to cut him off as he opens his mouth to say something.

"And, I love when you come around and the way you run your hand through your hair when you're nervous" My grin widens as he looks away slightly, seemingly surprised I'd noticed his anxious habit. I place my hand on his arm softly, "And I'd love to go out with you"

His smile widens and his expression is something I've never seen him have before, it's a mixture of relief and adoration. The way his eyes are trained on mine in the soft glow of the street lamps, it has my heart pounding. I let myself relax, relieved that my feelings weren't one sided.

"Then it's settled, let's date?" He asks, sounding like he's double checking that's what I really meant.

I can't help but grin wider, shaking my head softly in disbelief. Pushing the gate to my house and holding it open with my body, I face out into the street to look at him, I nod reassuring.

"Yeah, let's date, unless you've already changed your mind" I tease him softly and I watch as he rolls his eyes sarcastically. It feels odd how easily we seems to fit in with each other, feeling closer and more confident.

"I could kiss you right now" He says those words like it's the most natural thing to say in this moment and maybe it is, but I still feel my face burn in a deeper blush. He lets out a chuckle and stuffs his hands in his pockets, preparing to leave. But I don't want him to go, not yet at least.

"Then do it" I take a step closer to him, hearing the gate squeak softly as it moves with me.

He looks up towards me now that I'm standing on the small step that leads to the gate, his eyes shine with something I can't quite recognize. He takes a step forwards as well and I lean down slightly so I can reach his face. One of his hands withdraws from his pocket, raising to rest on the curve of my waist and my hand moves to cradle his jaw. Our lips connect in a soft but quick kiss, one that leaves me wanting more. His lips are cold but inviting and I don't want this to end. As I pull back gently, I feel his hand leave my side and mine retracts back to tuck under the warmth of my crew neck.

"Goodnight, Tamao" I whisper, leaning in to press a chaste kiss to his cheek.

I enter the front area of my house and begin to close the gate as he steps out of view behind the solid fence of my property, not before hearing a small 'night' come from him. As I approach my front door, the hum of a tv playing fills my ears. Though as I step up on the front step that leads to the threshold of the building, I turn back to look over the top of the fence, watching the back of Tamao's body get further and further away.

"Yes!" It's soft but I still hear it and watch as Serizawa pumps his fist in the air like he's won a great victory. The sight makes me cover my mouth to hold in a small laugh. I finally look away and I find myself still grinning. I don't want the way my heart lurches for him to stop and something tells me it won't ever, something tells me he'll keep my heart safe.

[moonheavens]

Fanfiction Author Interview Game

thank you for the tag my dear @littleoldrachel! it's always such a pleasure to engage in these kinds of fandom games and you're one of my fave people to nosily read answers from...

I only started writing in 2023 and my pace of writing new stuff is glacial so there won't be that much to share (I am one of those people with thousands of words in unfinished snippets in my google docs but very few of that actually makes it to AO3), but without further ado, let's go...

questions under the break <3

How many works do you have on AO3?

3 at the moment!

What's your total AO3 word count?

121,546 words

Your top 5 stories by kudos/likes:

I only have three, so I'll list them in that order:

in the centre of a circle my first long-form chaptered fic, and still the one I am most proud of. I truly, thoroughly enjoyed writing this and diving into Sirius's brain, and I think that really shines through.

tongue full of tomorrows my first-born! I wrote this quite quickly and feverishly and as a result it's pretty simplistic, but I still like it. it's a fluffy little thing I really enjoyed writing.

no thing defines a man like love that makes him soft it feels like I wrote this fic weeks ago, not almost half a year! I spent a lot of time trying to get this just right, but I'm really happy with how it came out. hurt/comfort is one of my favourite tropes and I had a blast taking a crack at it, extremely self-indulgently.

Do you respond to comments?

always, and embarrassingly quickly, too. it's so very special to receive a comment, whether it's a few words or a lengthy ramble, and I love engaging with people who liked what I wrote.

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

none of my fics really have super angsty endings, but I think no thing defines a man is the angstiest one because it's canon compliant. as in, the fic ends semi-happily, but there's still a war looming above their heads, you know?

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

that would be in the centre of a circle! there's a big fat HEA tag on that fic, and I stuck to that promise—the boys are thriving (very gay and very in love).

Do you write crossovers?

assuming this means fics that straddle multiple fandoms? in which case, no

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

no, actually. or well, I haven't seen any of it. I've been lucky enough to only receive positive comments and feedback.

Do you write smut?

yep. there is some smut in in the centre of a circle, and I have some WIPs floating around my drive that have smut, including a WIP that is... excessively filthy (casanova Remus, if anyone remembers me yapping about that one). like, it's explicit explicit. if that ever sees the light of day I might need to scrub my digital footprint, honestly.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not as far as I know!

Have you ever had a fic translated?

nope.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

officially, no. however, my bff/roommate and I have an abandoned WIP floating around the google drive (a 9-1-1 AU) that we co-wrote. we spent hours outlining it and assigning roles, re-watching the show, etc. it's only about 5 chapters before we abandoned it, but still! it was fun, and I'd be open to doing it again.

What's your all-time favorite ship?

Wolfstar, of course, and I have unfortunately fallen down the Jayvik (from Arcane) rabbit hole...

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

I don't have any WIPs running on AO3, if that's what the question is, but I have dozens on my drive. I think the 9-1-1 one will unfortunately stay there forever, simply because I don't think I'd want to write it without my friend (even though it was exciting). otherwise, I have made it a new year's resolution to actually try to finish and publish the two WIPs that have been hijacking my brain the most in 2025... so wish me luck!

What are your writing strengths?

see, now this is where you lose me. I've been a writer for as long as I can remember, and I have written fanfic for most of that time. despite that, I am an extremely self-deprecating writer and I suffer from a crippling case of perfectionism. is that silly? yes. do I love writing? yes. is being super critical of my work a blockade to doing what I love? also yes.

I love writing, but I struggle to see the forest for the trees, so to say, and pinpoint my own strengths. I get in my own way a lot. but, if I had to pick something, I think I'm good at writing emotions. but that would more so be because other people have told me so than because I actually believe it.

What are your writing weaknesses?

ah, so maybe I should have put the "my own worst enemy" spiel here, instead, haha. but yes. I have so many ideas, and I think in a general sense that my writing and ideas are pretty neat, it's just my own brain that sabotages me. one of my goals in 2025 is trying to actually finish something, instead of building a rolodex of random snippets and unfinished WIPs in my google drive. (as for actual writing, I think my weakness is over-describing things that could easily be said in one sentence instead of my five).

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

love it, why not. I haven't done it myself (yet) but I adore the welsh-speaking Remus and french-speaking Sirius headcanon and enjoy reading it in fics. I recently read a great fic in which Remus spoke swahili and afrikaans. as long as there's translations in the end notes, make them speak anything you want!

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

there's some Marauders ships (dorlene, mostly) that I would love to include in future works but I want to be able to do them justice, so I'd need to find the proper place in one of my fics for them to get the development and attention they deserve and not just be there in the background for the plot, if that makes sense.

What's your favorite fic you've written?

in the centre of a circle. she's my baby, and I love her. I spent so many hours in cafe's scattered across London outlining and writing, removing and adding and editing and just being stuck in Sirius's head, and I really love the way it came out. you can see the difference in writing quality between chapter 1 and 7 a little too clearly, but I had so much fun writing it regardless of that. the original idea was just a little brainwave of what if? and it went somewhere entirely different (Sirius took the wheel) and it was exhilarating to roll with it.

* * *

TAGS: honestly, I don't really know who's already done this or not so forgive me if you have. also, if you want to do this but haven't been tagged, feel free to use me as your tagger. tagging @magicbeings @pretentiouswreckingball @kaaaaaaarf @pain-in-the-riri @euripidestrousers <3

[walkingstackofbooks]

Fanfic Writer Interview

Tagged by: @a-most-beloved-fool - thank you!! <3 <3 <3

What fandoms do you write in? At the moment, pretty much just DS9, though I've written one TOS ficlet this year.

How many words have you published in 2024? 139, 411 😅😅 Absolutely bananas, I cannot even comprehend how I did that!

It's been an absolaute delight to properly fall in love with writing this year though ❤️Before 2024, I'd written very little fanfic ever, and this has been JUST so much fun! (ftr, 3.5k in 2021, ~3k in 2015, and - huh! Almost 30k in 2011/12 🧐 Well, that's a surprise - apparently my "baby's first fanfic" back in 2012 was a whole 20k, which is far longer than I remember!)

What is your greatest achievement this year? I mean, Vision Awry for sure! Seeing it grow and grow and slowly realising just how long it was becoming (although even right up to the end, I was never able to guess accurately!) My crazy summer marathon to get it all written before I resumed posting (which I did mostly manage!) and then the last few weeks in December pouring my heart and soul into actually finishing it before the end of the year. It's completely mad that I did that!

(Although weirdly, now it's finished it's just kind of like 'yeah I suppose I did that, feels ages ago now though' and I feel like I have to really push myself to feel the pride and excitement I think I should be feeling? Idk, it's weird 😅)

What are your top three fics you've written this year? Oh gosh, I have to choose? Okay...

Vision Awry - obviously :P

Sleep Paralysis - that mad, 3-day blitz of inspiration was so worth hiding away in my room for 😅

Um, unpublished, but the Miles&Julian-talk-about-suicide ficlet I posted on Tumblr? It was far better than I expected when I read it back, and was a higlight amongst the rest of the December writing-is-hard feels.

What was your biggest pit of despair moment? There were definitely many times during Vision Awry... the biggest were probably either:

Re-starting Day 5 in August, after writing nothing during June and July, and reailsing I had no idea what was going to happen in Day 5 apart from the deaths at the end;

Writing Epilogue 3 in the last few weeks, only eking out 1-300 words at a time unless I overdosed on meds (😅 it worked tho...), getting increasingly convinced that I was not going to be finishing by the end of the year, which sucked; or

Any time I realised the scene wasn't working because of X thing which meant I would need to totally rewrite it. I don't do drafts, really, so that was always devastating 😭 (but DID work out for the best, at least)

What have you learned? SO, so much. I'll limit myself to three things. (I'm sorry, I'm no good at choices or being concise!)

That if I have an idea, ideally I need to write all of it, straight away, and finish it while it’s fresh. I honestly don’t know how many WIPs I’m actually going to finish, because even while I love many of the ideas, I’m not in love with them the same way I was when I started.

That I love writing Garak and Julian interactions, even though I keep forgetting that I do, because Garak is an absolute pain to write sometimes (affectionate), and I've never been the biggest fan of stories that are solely Garashir.

That I need to be super careful about opening up prompts, because while they’re great for short-term motivation, if I don't complete them in a timely manner they end up hanging over me in a less-than-fun way.

What three fics have you read this year that you love? I do not know where to start with this one, omg, there are too many <3 <3 <3 Trying to think of ones I haven't mentioned before... (and while I'm trying to be better, I'm so bad at bookmarks 😅)

After The Siege by @youngpettyqueen - I didn't know I needed Worf&Julian but this has stayed in my mind since April and I love it to pieces. This dynamic is soooo gooddd 💕💕

The Recitation of Names by @jennelikejennay - Incredible, haunting, pre-TOS Spirk fic about the events mentioned in Obsession.

By Design by @akingnotaprincess - I haven't finished it yet (I am SO hype though, I just haven't had time over Christmas!) but it's SUCH a lovely Data/Julian fic, it's so sweet and sincere and wonderful.

What ideas are percolating for next year? Ughhhh, oh man. Idek. I've got about a dozen WIPs but the way my brian is rn, I'm just hoping that I'll be able to edit and publish some of the things I've written on Tumblr to finally put on AO3.

Hopefully I'll get going a bit more at some point - and whatever it is, you can bet on a traumatised Juian, I'm pretty sure ;)

Who do you want to thank? Again, where do I even start, there are so many people who have made this year wonderful 💕 I've never really felt like I've been *in* a Tumblr community before, and this year has really changed that, so a huge thank you to everyone who's made me feel so welcome! 🥰

@ectogeo-rebubbles, @the-last-dillpickle, @hellostuffedtiger for welcoming me into the Sloanshir side of DS9 with aplomb. Waking up to your reviews and recs of Imprisoned was actually unforgettable, it made my day many, many times over, and definitely gave me confidence to continue putting Julian into fucked-up situations!

@jackleg-penwright for messaging me and becoming my first Tumblr friend ❤️❤️❤️

@flippetyfloppity, @dreamerdrop, @phoenixfeathersinfall - your comments are life and love itself, your support for my writing this year has been incredible and made me feel so warm, thank you just so much! 🫂🫂🫂

I'm kind of High Key Anxious about missing anyone out if I tried to tag everyone else who has been supportive and wonderful and lovely, which sucks because I really want to, but if you've ever left a comment on anything I've done, PLEASE know that you are held in my heart most fondly with great love and affection 💖💖💖

tagging: @jackleg-penwright, @dreamerdrop, @ectogeo-rebubbles and anyone else who would like to!

[campbyler]

okay i need y’all to know that i stretched out reading this fic for as long as i emotionally could and it’s been 3ish weeks since i caught up and i have NOT stopped thinking about it. i feel like i’m reading a new favorite book and someone forced me to stop halfway!! lol so this is an appreciation ask <33 you’re such talented writers!!

also! how is it co-writing a fic? do you try to match writing styles or are you just naturally similar in that regard? i’m impressed that even with the distinctly different perspectives and multiple authors, it all feels so cohesive and seamless.

do you think you’ll continue writing together in the future once you’re done with this fic and its spinoffs?

((ps. i’m wishing i wasn’t a kid who got easily homesick because this story is making me nostalgic for experiences i didn’t really get to have (i tried and failed and sleep-away camps multiple times lol). i wanna live in this wholesome summer camp environment. ))

AHHH YAY i'm glad that you've been enjoying!! we wish more than anything it was done so that everyone could have the full story, but appreciate everyone's patience and kindness while we make sure to take the time to tell the story the right way! so thank YOU for your appreciation ask <3

we've had a really great time co-writing! when it was three of us, we would all go in and edit the current chapter to make sure that tone and vibes were the same, and i'd say we also all adapted our writing styles a bit to make sure that it flowed easily between the three of us! before we even started writing acswy, suni and i have always said that we have very similar writing styles with a few notable identifying quirks, so that's definitely been helpful in terms of having a consistent vibe, and something that makes us excited to work together in the future, too! we actually have written in the same doc before and it all flows really seamlessly which is very cool to see and be a part of :o) also we very recently talked about continuing to work together on collabs outside of acswy, and though it probably won't be for a while, i am excited for it!

if we could make camp whiteman a real place and invite you all we absolutely would so that we could all have the experience together!! tho i fear suni and i would have to live in the isolation cabin locked away from everyone else for our own protection 😗

[yellowocaballero]

Anyway.

How many works do you have on AO3? 54. Hm. I don't remember writing 54 fics. That's weird. But I've been posting since 2017 so when you THINK about it 54 fics over 7 years isn't weird at all.

What’s your total AO3 word count? 2.4 million. What's your point.

What fandoms do you write for? A fuckton. I write both things I'm hyperfixated on and for random shit that comes in my head. I was into TMA for like two years so I have the most TMA fic (16), but most of my fandoms are 3-5 fics maximum. There's also a lot of random-ass fics for random-ass fandoms that just jumped in my head. Artemis Fowl, Beetlejuice, Animorphs...demons that overtook me for two weeks or so and never bothered me again.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos? The Great Gender Heist (Artemis Fowl, no surprise there.), stay out of trouble (Detroit: Become Human, I reliably forget that one exists and I'm still mystefied as to why so many people read it), meek shall inherit (I'm constantly attempting to forget the Be More Chill phase ever happened), someone will remember us (Batman, fic's not great, am still very fond of that au) and dead or alive (DBH, mediocre). Why the hell are the two Detroit: Become Human fics so popular? I hate DBH so much. I was so angry while writing those.

Do you respond to comments? I am absolutely terrible about responding to comments. I am sorry. I do read and appreciate all of them. It's because I always need to give a dialectical so comments take ages to write. If you do want to hear my thoughts on something, my inbox is your best bet for a way too lengthy response.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Hope, Etc for certain. I try really hard to write bittersweet at worst endings, and even the sad endings in my fics have hope in them. Hope, Etc definitely ends in a better place than where it began. But it's still very sad. I was thinking about a lot of lost loved ones while writing it. Fishhooks and reel to reel also have downer endings but that is because they are LITERALLY Star Wars.

What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Uhhhh. The ending of Solitaire (and the MLM/WLW hostility series in general) is very sweet. It's meaningful because it demonstrates so much growth from everybody with very little cost. I almost said Go Straight At The Cul De Sac, because it showcases a happier world where horrible historical events were averted, but the ending will always be a little bittersweet because we understand how much Protag sacrificed to create that better world.

Do you get hate on fics? Sometimes people are kind of weird. The worst of it is usually just useless comments, though. I had somebody get pedantic about how briefly mentioning an SUV would be historically inaccurate, and how I should have mentioned a minivan instead - like, did you read that fic and think I was from the suburbs? Do I look like I know what a minivan is? Lol? If I've received any actual more severe stuff I have no idea, since I delete the comment and delete it from my memory. I've never gotten anything too bad. I've been called ablest like three times, which is objectively hilarious.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? If I could write smut I'd be making bank on Kindle Unlimited right now.

Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? Probably the FE3H/BNHA one I'm writing right now that will never see the light of day. Just kidding. I don't actually think I've posted any real crossovers - I DO write them, I just kind of feel like they're cringe so I never post them. I write a lot of cringe shit that never sees the light of day.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not nearly popular enough for that.

Have you ever had a fic translated? Several people have mentioned wanting to do that, but nope.

Have you ever co-written a fic before? Not technically. But I do want to give due honors to all of the friends who are SO instrumental in the building of the AUs, stories, characters, etc, that they've had a huge impact on the story itself. I try to recognize them by name in the fics themselves but my stories would look completely different if it wasn't for my friends. Definitely much worse.

What’s your all time favorite ship? I'll differentiate favorite ships and favorite fictional romances. For ships, it's much less about the ship and more about the role in the story. I tend not to pay a lot of attention to that while writing, but sometimes I get lost in my own sauce and I drive myself a bit nuts. I am very fond of Hanyookim, especially in my own ORV story. For romances? My top ten list of fictional romances is as follows: number one: naturally, Sasunaru -

What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? If it's up on AO3, it's done (with one or two very small exceptions - The Ending of Han Sooyoung epilogue I'll get to you I PROMISE). There's plenty of unfinished docs on my drive that I'll never finish, but that's because I decided that they weren't worth finishing.

What are your writing strengths? Dialogue and characterization. That's always been the case. I'm also pretty funny.

What are your writing weaknesses? Plotting. Action. Having stories that are not entirely dialogue. Where things happen and it's more than just people walking around talking. You know. Real stories -

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? Always valid. I remember reading one Hispanic author talking about how he doesn't like italicizing the Spanish in his stories because it's otherizing, and I agreed enough with him that I don't tend to italicize other languages either. Sometimes I do. I try to do it purposefully, and to convey something that can only be conveyed through the extra language. I'll also only do it if I can have a friend who speaks that language write it out for me, since gtranslate sucks and I want to ask the friend how such a thing would actually be said and colloquialize it. I like using ASL in fics, and I am just in general begging people to a) write it like any other language, and b) understand that it's different from other languages and can't be written exactly the same. If your Star Wars fanfiction has so much gratuitous Mando'a that I can't understand anything the clones or Mandos are saying I hate you.

First fandom you wrote for? Batman Beyond. Yes, I have a FFN account somewhere. Yes, I was eleven. Yes, it was Batman Beyond.

Favorite fic you’ve written? The best thing I've written is Twilight on Owl Creek Bridge. Favorite is New Wave. That sucker took two years to write (INSANELY long for me) and it is exactly the story I wanted to write. Stephanie's a character I've been writing since I was 15, and the feeling of writing Stephanie and NAILING her for the very first time was so satisfying.

Tagging @usaigi and uh any other writer mutuals you all know who you are.

[fearowkenya]

camp digimonth 2025!!!

oh my god has it for real been one entire calendar year since i joined @campdigimonth?? INSANE

i couldnt even really think of a goal to set because other interests and life in general happened to football-tackle me in the last week of january last year. i can barely remember what i set out to do. in fact im reading my goals from last year right now and rediscovering that i'd split them into projects, sub-projects, and sub-sub projects. which is kind of ridiculous… but exactly the kind of ridiculous that works for me specifically! i think i'll actually just copy-paste my explanation because it still holds:

"the projects are MANY , and it’s impossible to say which ones i will have the impulse to work on and which ones i wont. i dont want to commit to a specific project and then decide ‘actually i dont feel like working on this one’ so i thought it would make sense to just list a bunch of things i want to do and knock out the ones that i have the most motivation for." -me, circa 365 days ago

so true, me from 1 year ago!!! i'm going to keep the same goals as well:

GOAL: complete 5 sub-sub-projects SECONDARY GOAL: complete 10 sub-sub-projects TERTIARY GOAL: complete 1 entire sub-project OR 15 sub-sub-projects

details on specific projects under the cut because i don't know what brevity means nor am i interested in learning it. WARNING FOR DIGIMON SURVIVE SPOILERS AHEAD. i will mark spoiler start points in RED and end points in GREEN so that you may scroll past them if you so desire

PROJECT 1: Finish Winds of Change winds of change my beloved. i am so sorry that the editing schedule for your final chapter coincided with the realization that final fantasy 7 rebirth was set to release the next month. i regret absolutely nothing - honestly i was starting to burn out a little by the end and i think the break from survive, so it was a net positive. either way id like to finish this fic , perhaps even this month! who can say. i do feel a little apprehensive in that it's been a minute since i wrote for survive and i worry id be a little rusty with the character writing. but these kinds of worries are always not as bad as they seem so fuck it we ball

SUB-PROJECT: Winds of Change Chapter 9

rewrite the parts i want to rewrite

go thru edit checklist

post

--

SUB-PROJECT: [REDACTED]

[REDACTED]

[REDACTED]

post (dont worry 😇 )

*********************************************

PROJECT 2: Redesign Survive Partners context from last year: "I am very charmed by the idea that a digimon’s design is affected by the events and relationships in their lives. For example, a digimon may change a little in appearance in a way that reflects something about their human partner."

so i've been kinda working on this on-and-off for the past year, mostly doodles that i didn't plan on doing anything with because they weren't polished enough. i actually really like the redesigns i did although i never posted them, so im thinking i just redraw them and colour them with markers this time. or digital. idk we'll see. i'm gonna pick three of the survive digimon and not all of them because if i did that we would be here all day

SUB-PROJECT: Lopmon Redesign

Redraw the one I did already onto marker paper via light table

Colour and ink

Scan at work (my scanner at home HATES certain colours)

Touch-ups

Write mile-long post about design choices

Post

--

SUB-PROJECT: Labramon Redesign

Find a cool dog pose to reference

Draw a Labramon

Move onto marker paper via light table if necessary

Colour and ink

Scan at work

Touch-ups

Write mile-long post about design choices

Post

--

SUB-PROJECT: Agumon Redesign

Remember what the hell my workflow was; I've started this one already except that it's 100% digital which i dont usually do. i seem to recall that i'd found a vaguely similar workflow to the one i use with traditional mediums but i dont remember at all how i managed that. i will have to try to remember how i got that working

Finish colouring

Simple background???

Post

*********************************************

PROJECT 3: Survive Alternate Evos (Digifakes) i refuse to elaborate. i think that doing a big finished colour illustration is not going to be helpful for this since these would be the first passes of all these designs, so this would probably be just some sketches with minimal colour??? maybe??

SUB-PROJECT: Blackavarmon

find & look at blackavarmon's original sketches again to remember what on earth i had in mind

idk just do a bunch of sketches and keep 3-5 of the best ones

low-effort ink/colour

scan at work

post

--

SUB-PROJECT: Tigervespamon Burst Mode

find the few sketches i did last year and try to push them further; i remember feeling like some of the design elements weren't working the way i wanted them to and i gotta tinker with them

tigervespamon burst mode is very much 'what if i take the machine aspects out of this design and add others that cater more to me specifically'. tigervespamon as-is doesnt look enough like a wasp OR a tiger to me and im taking it upon myself to fix that. im going to stare at pictures of tiger jaws and wasp mandibles for six hundred hours until i can mash 'em together in a truly horrific way to make a guy who is SO upsetting to look at <3

close-ups of weird design aspects, probably jaws, arms, face, perhaps wings if i dont fear god

low effort ink/colour

scan at work

post

--

SUB-PROJECT: Mothmanmon

slap together a bunch of reference pictures. mothmanmon has a specific purpose that i refuse to explain, but i also want it to have the vibe of a digimon that isn't necessarily relevant to [REDACTED] or [REDACTED]. unlike blackavarmon or tigervespamon burst mode, i havent even STARTED work on this one so a finished polished definite design isn't the intent

doodle a bunch of concept sketches

ink/colour the one that looks the most like i want it to

scan at work

post

*********************************************

PROJECT 4: Survive Snippets so this probably doesn't come as a surprise to anybody but the survive fics ive posted are barely scratching the surface of what a version of me with infinite spare time would like to explore. ive been tossing ideas around for a while that i want to at least write down. i dont know that i'd post any of them since they'd likely be part of other bigger fics that i CERTAINLY do not have time to write

SUB-PROJECT: Conversation (& fight?) between Dracmon and [REDACTED] you get no information on this (:

--

(DIGISURVIVE SPOILER WARNING START)

SUB-PROJECT: Alternate Kunemon Champion evo scene listen as much as i love survive and love kunemon and think its funny that his big dramatic evolution scene was triggered while battling against (checks notes) actual babies, i dont necessarily think that it was… the uh, most elegant way to go about ryo's partner's first evolution?? the tone of the scene gave me whiplash. i would like to know what it would be like for that scene to have stakes that are more in-line with the other champion-level evolution scenes. i DO know how im going to do this though, vaguely, ive been thinking about it for like over a year. it'll actually also require some changes to syakomon's champion evo scene most likely! the challenge with this one is going to be to boost the impact of flymon's first appearance while not minimizing the impact of shellmon's first appearance. it's a balancing act that im not SUPER intimidated by; i managed something similar in winds of change, but it's still a little different.

--

SUB-PROJECT: Alternate Lopmon Champion Evo scene This would sort of be an epilogue to winds of change! without spoiling much, winds of change is a different outcome of part 5 Truthful where shuuji manages to survive the waterway, but something very very bad still happens. this bad thing would delay lopmon's evolution into turuiemon, and that delayed version would have a different vibe to it than how it was presented in the game's truthful route.

(DIGISURVIVE SPOILER WARNING END)

*********************************************

PROJECT 5: Digimon TTRPG Stuff I play digimon ttrpg with my friends. yet i rarely draw any of our funny little guys. i wish to draw our funny little guys

SUB-PROJECT: Lys the Muscle Wizardmon currently for playtesting i am playing a melee damage wizardmon who did not get great grades in wizard school. so she hits things with a stick instead. good for her!

--

SUB-PROJECT: Delaney & Herculeomon beach episode Look™

--

SUB-PROJECT: Nova (Terriermon-x) (& maybe Xander??) beach episode Look™

*********************************************

many things to consider! and neither you nor i know which i will attempt first (: good luck fellow camp digimonth participants! lookin' forward to seeing your progress!

[northernyogurt]

Oh my gosh! I'd love to hear more of your thoughts on Finn/Jake/Piers please!

Btw I did a quick look and it looks like there's a fic for that throuple ship on AO3, so other people seem to enjoy it too! I really wish there were a lot more content for them though. 😭

They're such a good ship!

WHEN I TELL YOU. I RUSHED TO READ THAT FIC. I GOT SO SO EXCITED I'VE BEEN STARVING FOR FOOD FOR JAKINNIERS FOR LIKE TWO YEARS AND IT'S FINALLY HAPPENED!!!!! i seriousluy feel like im going to have a meltdown im so excited i've written several things of my own on these three i just never really finish things or get them to a point where i feel good enough to publish them? i have tons of things hidden away but one day maybe they'll be finished one i was working on was some sort of fun and whimsical lawyer-esque au? where the BSAA was actually a law firm located in raccoon city and were in the middle of a long lawsuit on albert wesker/tricell for medical malpractice/unethical practices or something akin to that. and chris had taken a few people from his team on a vacation in LA to keep spirits up and have some fun, and there finn and piers (being pretty close in the firm, at that point) would get lost and meet jake, a (currently) LA 'resident' thug who knew the streets pretty well and helped them get around. i still like the concept and i've been thinking of returning but jojo brainworms are overtaking me so it's been rough to do anything resident evil related (but i may return for a short while just to get some jakinniers shit out cuz i miss them) actual rambling under the cut v

but like as for in actuality, aka the string of events ive actually procured; in of course an everyone-lives au, i imagine finn to be the one to get jake and piers to set their differences aside and bring the three of them together, in a sense. piers and finn weren't super close before the ambush in edonia, though piers still cared for finn marginally as he would any other soldier. it wasn't until they were both in recovery in a BSAA-owned lab for rehabilitating bioweapons that they actually became close with one another. they're both in there until about 2014, thanks to jake's blood being the key to manufacturing some kind of "cure", or at least something to satiate or cut off the effects of the c-virus. finn has a lot longer to go than piers - seeing as he was hit with a more crude, destructive version of the virus - but they're both stable, and that's what matters. they attend the 2014 rewards ceremony for their bravery in edonia. finn doesn't see jake there-- sherry says he didn't want to go, didn't want to make the trip, which is.. fair enough. he's still upset for a reason piers cannot understand. but in 2015, chris holds a christmas party, which is something he likes to do often. by now, piers and finn are in some sort of weird situationship that finn wants to put a name to, but piers won't budge, unwilling to admit his fear of commitment to something like a relationship. regardless they attend this party together and, lo and behold, that ginger fuck shows up. piers is greatly upset, wondering how the hell he'd be allowed when he literally shot the host of the party in 2012, but chris actually seems okay with it, so he can push aside his anger for now and let it go, just wanting to get this social event over with, aaand great finn is going to literally talk to him. amazing finn actually just wants to thank jake for what he's done, and jake is like, reasonably a bit awkward and confused, having had his cute little character arc where he's like not a bad person now, but somehow the conversation turns and they hit it off. hooray! that's how that happens. now within a few weeks finn is juggling two odd situationships at once and loves both of them but can't exactly just admit that because that would mean "choosing", or at least that's how he sees it this is getting a bit long so im going to try and speed-explain: jake pops into finn's place at some point to give him something, piers is there. cue awkwardness and tension. something snaps, piers goes off, is very upset to see jake is hanging around piers's boyfriend-not-boyfriend-technical-situationship-thingy, they talk things out after an almost-argument and discover they actually aren't too different. relationships between the three of them develop over a few months, but nothing official because nobody is really sure how to go about this, then on a semi-drunken night jake is like "what if we were just all together at once i hate monogamy" and?? they just slowly start calling each other their boyfriend. of course they don't come out to anyone for a while (but everyone has known lmao) happily ever after huzzah! that's such a quick explanation of something that in my mind is so intricate i don't really know how else to squash that down while still keeping key points. there's so much to it and i imagine it'd be a VERY slow burn that all of them get frustrated about at points (especially finn, being the most eager to actually jump into an official title of their weird relationship, but the other two being a lot more on the fence about it) you just have to trust me might go into this more and if you have any specific questions i would LOVE TO ANSWER. i love talking about them very much and all the different aus/ideas i have in my head

[no-goodbyes-no-regrets]

So here's my *actual* seven sentence sunday

@carlos-in-glasses @nancys-braids @im-overstimulated-and-im-sad

it's a little snippet of a Marjan/Nancy fic I'm working on for @captain-gillian (I hope you don't mind me sharing a little preview of your fic!) for @911actions Gaza fundraiser - check out the page to see how you can donate too!

---

"Work is good. We have a new probie actually." Marjan said, holding up her phone at eye level to talk to her sister. "This girl fresh out the academy. She's eager to learn but kind of reckless ."

"Sounds like someone else I know." Sahar joked. "I'm guessing you and her get on well."

Marjan laughed. She was sitting on her bed in the firehouse bunkroom, waiting out the last part of her shift, hoping no call would come in.

"She's a good kid." she settled on. "What's happening over there?"

"Malik and I just bought a house. With three extra bedrooms."

"Really? I didn't know you were looking."

"Yeah... This place is becoming too small for us."

"Why do I feel like you're only telling me half a story?"

Sahar laughed.

"I never could hide anything from you." she stood up and walked to a mirror, putting a hand on her stomach and showing Marjan her reflection. "It's early days but Malik thinks you can tell already." She turned to give Marjan a view of her profile.

"Wait. Are you pregnant?"

"Yes!" Sahar beamed. "About 12 weeks now. Don't tell mom and dad. They don't know yet. Only you and Malik's sister."

"I won't tell anyone." Marjan promised, pushing the thought that she barely spoke to her parents these days to the back of her mind.

"When we've moved into the new house, you need to come visit." Sahar insisted. "And you can bring Nancy too so we can finally meet her for real."

"I'd like that." she and Nancy were going on 8 months together and so far she'd only introduced her to Sahar via facetime. She was pretty sure her parents would be happy for them, but actually introducing Nancy as her girlfriend to them still scared her.

"I have to go now. We're getting the keys for the new house today." Sahar snapped her out of her thoughts. "We'll talk soon ok? Tell Nancy I said hi."

"Will do. Bye." Marjan said and ended the call and let herself fall backwards on the bed. Nancy made her happy, things were going great between them, and even the awkwardness with Mateo had been resolved, but outside of her work friends, nobody knew about them. She wasn't even sure if the B shift crew knew they were a couple.

She sighed and closed her eyes, trying to get her brain to turn off. Either that or give her the answers she'd been looking for.

"Are you sleeping on the job?" the mattress dipped and an arm slipped around her waist as someone squeezed in beside her. She opened her eyes and looked into Nancy's smiling face. "We're you at least dreaming about me?"

"Always." Marjan vowed and tugged on her girlfriend's uniform until she leaned down to kiss her.

---

I won't annoy you all with a second set of tags so just consider this an open tag for YOU if you have anything you want to share

[librarylexicon]

20 Questions for Writers

EDIT: Now with question 17!

Tagged by @cuephrase (ty bb!!)

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

32 (that are attached to my account).

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

283,405. I very nearly posted 100,000 of them last year, and only noticed when I looked at my stats in January. If I'd known, I would have posted something else to get it over that line!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Right now, just Batman, but in the past I've written for Harry Potter, Anne of Green Gables, Little Men, Tintin and a handful of other fandoms. I have a Road to Avonlea fic tentatively in the works, and might return to any of these fandoms if inspiration strikes.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

All the Corners That Are Left is an outlier in my stats because it has more than three times as many kudos as the runner-up. It's an exchange fic that was my first foray into posting Batfam fics, and I liked writing it so much that it actually sparked a loose series of Post-Crisis oneshots, currently called Corners.

Family Crisis is my beloved canon divergence AU of War Games. It's the first fic I started writing for Batman, and I'm so happy that people are reading it. It's very comics-oriented, but still easy to follow without having touched a comic (imo).

Harry Potter and the Time-Turner is the first multichapter fic I ever wrote and completed, back when I was in my early teens. I won't reread it, lest I die of cringe, but I'm bemusedly grateful that it still gets hits and kudos.

Home Assignment is a Dick whump fic I drafted quite a while ago, and finally had an opportunity to finish and publish when I signed up for a Dick Grayson event. I had fun playing around with unreliable narration in this one!

In Retrospect is a HP fic that was written for a challenge where I was given five prompts and a week to produce five one-shots. I chose to make mine interconnected missing scenes set during and after Deathly Hallows, and particularly like how Painfully Abnormal turned out.

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes! It's a habit that's carried over from my fanfiction.net days, and I receive a manageable amount of comments, so I try to respond to every one. (The only reason I might not is when someone leaves a string of comments that are all very brief. In that instance, I tend to reply to the final comment only.) I adore reading and replying to comments! 🫶

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I've always been an angst lover. The Last Enemy, one of my oldest fics, ends with (canonical) apparent character death, and For the Sake of Our Son ends with both main characters (canonically) dying. How fun!

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Other than a shipfic that's now anonymous, I don't know! I tend to go for uplifting or satisfying endings without necessarily aiming for happy ones (although I rarely have unhappy endings). Maybe You Know I Love You? I do also have a handful of Batman ficlets that I recently wrote for a zine, and there's definitely fluff among them.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I think I got some on fanfiction.net back in the day, but the most hate I've received that I can remember is people being salty about a couple of fics I began when I was a teenager and never finished. I'm sorry, but it's been almost a decade! Yes, you can and should resist the urge to tell me that you don't respect authors who abandon fics!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Nope!

10. Do you write crossovers?

While I've toyed with quite a few crossover ideas over the years, I've only published one, which is a Rise of the Guardians and Peter Pan one-shot called Lost Boy.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I can't recall any specific instances, but many of my fics have been on the internet for a long time, so they've definitely been scraped for knockoff sites, if nothing else.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, three times! Harry Potter and the Time-Turner has been translated into French, Shirley Not has been translated into German and At Home, They Call Me Tintin has been translated into Chinese. (Links to these translations are in my fanfic masterlist on Dreamwidth.)

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, but I'm open to the idea! I'd have to really know the other author and get over my control freak tendencies, though...

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

I don't ship much (to the point where I have plenty of NOTPs), but I do love TimSteph, and I have soft spots for DickBabs and BatCat (Bruce/Selina) as well. All-time favourite, though? That would have to be Anne and Gilbert from the Anne of Green Gables series.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

Before the War(drobe). Narnia fandom, I really want to return to you someday, but I have a couple things to do first!

16. What are your writing strengths?

My most positive comments almost always mention characterisation. I also think I write dialogue pretty well. In my mind, well-written dialogue is essential to good characterisation.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Even though I write about characters who are superheroes, I rarely write about them BEING superheroes, because I struggle with action scenes. Also description, but I like to think I've grown better at it.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I don't like to use non-Latin characters in my fics for readability reasons, and I don't like to include dialogue in another language if I don't know the language. So, when my characters speak a language other than English, I either just use an English translation with a dialogue attribution (e.g. She said in Spanish) or just use the attribution without the dialogue, depending on whether or not the POV character understands the language.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter! I wrote for it before I knew what fanfic was. I also joined the Harry Potter Fanfiction Challenges forum on fanfiction.net back in the day, which led to my most prolific ficwriting period.

20. Favourite fic you've written?

My favourite fics tend to be my most recent ones, because they're the ones I've spent the most time on and am most proud of. I can never pick one of anything (as you've probably noticed), so my current favourites are:

Family Crisis – longtime labour of love and Bruce character study

All the Corners That Are Left – Dick character study feat. Jason

Flight Mode – Tim character study feat. Bruce

Phew, that was a lot of questions! I think a lot of people have already been tagged 😅

Scrolling through my mutuals and no-pressure tagging @silverwhittlingknife @geevesthevieve @batrachised @freyafrida and @silent-silver-slip and any other fic writers who see this! 🫶

[steddieunderdogfics]

This week’s writer spotlight feature is:  @alwaysurvalentine! alwaysurvalentine has 11 fics in the Stranger Things fandom on AO3 and all of them are in the Steddie tag!

@dame-zoom-a-lot recommends the following works by @alwaysurvalentine:

bad days were meant to be shared

three strikes and you're out!

aquariums and sweethearts

"If I had to put an image to their fics… I'd say a warm blanket and a piece of cake.

Their slices of life fics get cooked with so much care and thought. A lot of them are my go-to when I'm feeling kind of off or lonely. They approach conflict with so much empathy and realism. No one's just shitty out of the blue with zero reason, and characters talk things out in a way that feels like how real people would talk. There's rarely clear villains or clean-cut forever happy-ending type resolutions in real life, and their fics shine at showing the beauty of that." -- @dame-zoom-a-lot

Below the cut, @alwaysurvalentine answered some questions about their writing process and some of their recommended work!

Why do you write Steddie?

Honestly, I just really vibe with both of them as characters. It’s easy to draw some of my own parallels with how Eddie sees the world and Steve’s fall from grace within my personal life - so it’s nice to play around with characters who I can understand. Plus I love taking the “protectors” from the narrative and forcing them to allow others to care for them.

What’s your favorite trope to READ?

I’m a sucker for any type of soulmate au, the ones with soulmarks are my guilty pleasures. Just something about knowing there’s someone out there destined to care about you makes me feel all warm and fuzzy

What’s your favorite trope to WRITE?

Anything slice of life or found family - I just love getting to give characters all the love and care they deserve. Especially when canon has put them through the ringer!!

What’s your favorite Steddie fic?

With no cross to bear (these words just come out) by hitlikehammers https://archiveofourown.org/works/45052120/chapters/113340064 I come back to this fic again and again. Love their Eddie POV and all of the reactions from the party feel authentic and I just love a fic that really shows how much everyone cares about Steve (even if he doesn’t see it).

Is there a trope you’re excited to explore in a future work but haven’t yet?

I’ve had a big idea about a possession type fic starring Eddie. It’s gonna be a big project though so it may be workshopped and shelved for another time while I work on some other stuff!

What is your writing process like?

Music is my biggest inspiration and I listen to Spotify all of the time (my spotify wrapped is about to be WILD), but usually I’ll get a spark of an idea from a song, scribble down a quick interaction I can see, and then once I get home it’s getting it all out on a doc. It usually takes me a few days to a week for me to get a fic where I want it, especially when the characters take things into their own hands for the narrative (I’m looking at Eddie and Robin here)

Do you have any writing quirks?

I actually write everything in red text until I decide I like the section. I have so many documents that have different colored text based on how I feel about it. Black means it’s ready to be proofread/don’t change, purple or blue for things I want to rewrite, and then red for what I’ve gotten down but isn’t edited/reviewed yet. Besides that I also go in thinking I’m going to keep it short and sweet and then I blink and we’re 2k in - but it’s been fun nonetheless!

Do you prefer posting when you’ve finished writing or on a schedule?

If I’m doing a prompt challenge usually it’s as soon as I’m done (totally not because I finish the day of…totally not that) but other than that I have a personal schedule to have certain things done by, otherwise I’ll nitpick forever.

Which fic are you most proud of?

Three Strikes and You’re Out! It was super fun to play around with connecting baseball terms to DnD in a way that still made sense and wasn’t just a block of info text.

How did you get the idea for aquariums and sweethearts?

It was actually a little followup I did for another fic, where Eddie visited the aquarium with Uncle Wayne but wasn’t able to get the souvenir he wanted. And I wanted Steve to kinda complete that circle, plus I wanted them to have a moment where they could kinda be kids again.

When writing aquariums and sweethearts, what was something you didn’t expect?

I honestly didn’t expect it to be so long, I was just going to write a tiny follow up but got carried away with my own aquarium memories and research so I just kept wanting to add more and more

What inspired three strikes and you're out!?

I feel like I’ve seen a lot of fics where Steve meets Eddie halfway with his interests and I wanted to see the opposite. Like it’s one thing for Eddie to concede that being a jock isn’t so bad, but it’s another for him to go out and learn about a sport/something that doesn’t interest him at all, ya know?

What was your favorite part to write from three strikes and you're out!?

Oooh! Such a hard question, for me it’s a tie between the conversation Eddie has with Lucas and his conversation with Uncle Wayne. I just liked putting Eddie in a situation where he was the one learning, instead of being the one in charge/control.

How do/did you feel writing bad days were meant to be shared?

It was a little hard starting out, I knew a couple things I wanted to happen but besides that I really went in kinda blind. Once I got into the groove though, it felt like it just wrote itself. Steve knew what he was feeling and just guided me along.

What was the most difficult part of writing bad days were meant to be shared?

So fun fact, I actually wrote the first draft completely from Eddie's point of view. I was trying to find his voice (still feel like I’m working on this but progress is progress) but it just wasn’t flowing right and Dame-Zoom-A-Lot actually helped beta for me. They’re the one who suggested the point of view switch and it worked so well!!

Do you have a favorite scene and/or line from any of your fics?

A favorite scene I’ve written has to be in aquariums and sweethearts when Eddie and the Mime gang up on Steve to poke fun at him, it just felt like something Eddie would play along with and enjoy.  These couple of lines from Three Strikes and You’re Out! Make me really happy, like sent my friends a dorky screenshot because I liked them so much: “Eddie’s world narrows to the smell of Steve’s cologne, something that smells like rain on freshly cut grass and a hint of vanilla. Just as soon as Steve leaned in, he leans away, the sun painting orange and pink highlights in his hair when he tilts his head grinning.”

Do you have any upcoming projects or fics you’d like to share/promote?

I’m working on a Steve Harrington ‘character study’ from Hopper’s point of view currently and might be starting on an Anastasia AU starring Chrissy as Anya and Robin as Dimitri - super stoked for both of these!

Outside of these questions, Is there anything YOU would like to add?

Endless thanks to my nominator!! I just started posting for Steddie this August and it’s been unreal. So thankful for all of my new friends and can’t wait to share some more of my little ideas and chat with other people about their art and stories! <3

Thank you to our author, @alwaysurvalentine, and our nominator, @dame-zoom-a-lot ! See more of alwaysurvalentine's works featured on our page throughout the day!

Writer’s Spotlight is every Wednesday! Want to nominate an author? You can nominate them here!

[sleepymccoy]

I've been writing quite a lot of mcspirk this week. It's a fun mini challenge, I'm trying to do three, each as one where they start as a different pair and envelope the third.

This post got long and rambly, contains my difficulties writing poly ships as a monogamous person. Putting it under the cut, but feel welcome to read and respond if you have thoughts ❤️❤️

The first one came about pretty naturally cos it was spirk with like a plan of action to woo McCoy and it works, ya know. That was fine. Also it was McCoy pov and he's not in the relationship so he's okay being a bit sweet on both cos it's all made up and not happening anyway. Until it suddenly does happen

I'm onto mckirk now and I'm struggling!

I'm naturally monogamous to the point where I don't think I've ever even had a crush on two people at once. If I'm dating someone and I develop a crush on someone else I either talk myself out of it or wait a couple weeks to see if I go back to liking my partner, or I just end the relationship. I've ended at least two relationships cos I fell for someone else and it overtakes my romantic interests completely. And I don't like my thoughts to be unfaithful.

I really don't feel good writing McCoy pov, dating kirk, aware he also has a crush on Spock. That just seems like awful boyfriend behaviour to my monogamous self, so I haven't done that. He doesn't know he has a crush

So, the mckirk to mcspirk plot I've got is much messier. Mckirk have to overcome some failure to communicate in their relationship before they can realise they both want Spock too, but I also kind of want it to happen quickly. I think I'm likely to end up with a real jealousy fic with pseudo cheating (that gets forgiven and recontextualised later after a chat, but at the time it's real) that resolves with mcspirk but I also wonder if that kind of thing is just so far from what a poly person feels that it isn't reasonable to write. Or if it's actually entirely reasonable, but then the poly stuff feels like a band-aid fix that wouldn't actually happen irl cos betrayal is too rough. Or if I'm over thinking the poly thing cos I'm not poly and the idea of juggling two partners just doesn't work for me so I've othered it all too much.

I dunno

Anyway I just kinda want to type it out and think about it. If anyone has thoughts feel free to share

What I've got rn is mostly Jim forcing the plot to move towards poly, but McCoy's the pov and his internal thinking is very monogamous. Cos he's in a pre existing relationship and he won't cheat, so any thoughts about Spock play as either shameful or something he's ignoring. And it seems like it's a shame to write anything but Jim's pov since he's the one spearheading change, but if I wrote Jim I'd have Bones doing the work cos I really struggle to go through the thought process. It's easier to write the reacting pov

The whole thing's just not quite the right vibe yet, cos it's such a hard switch to go from shame to relief like that. There's stuff in this story that I just wouldn't forgive in my relationships that's presented as such a positive in this one. But I also know it's true for other people so I wanna try and understand a little

That's probably why I'm trying to write it!

This is gonna be on my mind all evening, I can just tell

Help lol

[balanceoflightanddark]

hi, I just want to say that before I read your ATLA/Godzilla crossover works, I've never even touched the Gozilla/kaiju franchise. Not that I thought that they were bad, but more like it wasn't my area of interest? I was always more of an ATLA and a magical girl animes kind of person. But now I'm devouring that shit like no tomorrow, I'm drinking it up like water's going out of fashion. I'm watching the official films, scouring for fan theories, looking for more of this deliciousness. Like, reading the way you described Godzilla as this otherworldly and oddly sympathetic character just imploded my mind. I never saw the parallels between him and Azula until you wrote it out in that gorgeous fanfic. Literally life changing.

Hey! Thanks for the message and I'm glad you're enjoying the story so far. I'm hoping to finish the next chapter this week, but I've got college to work on. Hopefully, it won't be as bad as last semester, but you get the idea.

Anyways, Godzilla/ATLA. Technically I'm not the first one to do this neither am I the only one who's working on an idea. Plus I think I'm aware of a couple Legend of Korra crossovers with Godzilla, but I wanted to give my own spin on the idea. I grew up on Godzilla and other various kaiju movies so I figured I could do the idea some justice. It's been an idea that's floated in the back of my head for years, but I haven't really gotten around to writing fanfics until a couple years ago.

So you can totally blame Shadow Lugia for this fic existing.

Now the thing about growing up around kaiju films is that you start to notice some of the most common themes and ideas. It's here I really started to put the connections between Godzilla and Azula. Granted he's not the ONLY character that Azula has a lot of similarities with (Adora, Stitch, Toothless, Mewtwo, Cassandra Cain), but he's the one I've grown attached to just as much as I grew attached to Azula. But, yeah. The similarities are all there. Being framed as a monster. Essentially being a product of a brutal, imperialistic society. Metaphors for being a weapon. You get to know both long enough, you start to connect the dots. Helps that Godzilla does have several human characters that are right up Azula's alley.

looks at Akane from Godzilla Against Mechagodzilla

And no, I am not sorry for the obsession with kaiju films. In fact, I am going to go ahead and FEED said obsession with a few of my recommendations:

-Heisei Gamera Trilogy: Basically three of the best non-Godzilla films out there, really pushing what kaiju films are capable of. They start out good with Guardian of the Universe, before defying the trilogy decay rule and peaking with Revenge of Irys. Which is what one of Godzilla's oldest rivals deserves.

-Daimajin: This one's unique in that it's actually a samurai film for the most of the movie before the giant statue gets up, starts walking, and proceeds to massacre the main villain. Then it turns into the kaiju equivalent of a slasher film. I haven't seen the other two films in the Daimajin trilogy yet, but apparently they're just as good.

-War of the Garguantas: A Toho film with kaiju not starring the Big G. The two monsters Sanda and Gaira are developed to the point they feel less like forces of nature and more like characters in their own right. Helps they sort of have a Zuko and Azula sibling rivalry dynamic going on. And yes, it's just as tragic.

-King Kong 1933: The great granddaddy of kaiju films along with The Lost World. It's kind of questionable in a few areas, but it helped establish the overall themes of the genre while delivering a lot of iconic scenes. I'd also recommend the 2005 remake, Mighty Joe Young (basically a successor to King Kong with some of the same story beats but an overall different tone and characters) along its 1998 remake from Disney if you want more giant ape shenanigans.

-Cloverfield: A found footage film where the perspective is from a bunch of civilians just trying to survive a kaiju attack. It's really terrifying with a focus on what people would do in the middle of a giant monster raid.

-Pacific Rim: A film where alien kaiju invade Earth and humanity build giant robots to fight them. Directed by Guillermo del Toro who used classical paintings of giants for inspiration. And where the fight scenes can best be described as works of art.

-Monster Island Buddies: This is an adult online series featuring Godzilla and his friends. It's stupid but features a LOT of kaiju cast from basically the entire genre and can actually be surprisingly meta and cleverly written.

Anyways, thank you again so much for reading. I hope to get back to it soon when I get the chance. Feel free to message me if you've got any more questions or just want to chat. And glad I could introduce you to Godzilla.