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mirisss · 2 months ago

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As the Seasons Change Chapter 3

Chapter 3: The One Who Melted the Winter Cold Away

Summary: Throughout one’s life, you fall in love with many people, some will stay for a long time and some will be like a passing wind. As (Y/n) is cleaning to prepare to move, she finds some old pictures from when she was young and begins reminiscing on some old relationships she used to have. The memories, the laughs, the pain, they were all things she had to go through to find the love she has today.

In this story, Woozi, Dk, and (Y/n) are the same age and Seungkwan is one year younger than them

(Y/n) is also shorter than all of them, ‘cause I am, and I don’t know how to write for tall people,

Lee Seokmin x afab reader

Wordcount ≈ 12k (I really went overboard for this one, didn’t I?)

Warnings: Sexual rumors, bullying, anxiety, breaking up, I think that’s it?

Taglist: @jeonghansemotionalsupportsword

(Y/n)’s POV

The next stack of photos that I found made my heart feel warm. The most recent photos of my life. My college experience is summarized through these photos. The first couple of photos were of me and my family, my dorm room, some photos of the school, and just me standing outside of the school. And some with Seungkwan, they were taken when we were still together. When we still believed we could deal with the long distance. It hurt a little seeing these photos, the last time we were actually happy together.

Looking at these photos, I remembered how lonely I felt at the beginning of college. For the first time ever, I didn’t have a friend to help me find more friends, I had to do it all alone. And it didn’t really work, not at first at least.

The next photo in the pile made me smile, it was the true start to my college life, my first friend, who soon became my boyfriend thanks to one of his other friends.

~ Flashback ~

Moving into my college dorm room was exciting, all the movies and stories showed that this would be the time of my life to study, party, explore love of different kinds, find friends for life, and much more. However, that’s not how it was in real life, at least not for me.

Growing up, I always had Seungkwan to help me find friends, he was so outgoing and extroverted so making friends was very easy for him while I have always been more introverted and shy, so making friends hasn’t been my forte.

This was the first time I had to do it all on my own, although it felt impossible, I wanted to try my best. I wanted these years to be filled with laughter and memories of more than just me being alone.

Saying goodbye to my family and to Seungkwan was hard but I was excited to experience the adventure that college is. I went into my dorm room, and though I was worried about making friends I chose a single room, one I didn’t have to share with anyone, because I just couldn’t see myself sharing a room with someone I didn’t know. What if we don’t get along? What if she’s like a killer or something? Unlikely, but not impossible. My family and Seungkwan had helped me bring all my things into the room but nothing was unpacked yet. That was something I wanted to do on my own.

I unlocked my phone and opened my music app, it had been a while since I last checked out Jihoon’s music but for some reason, his songs were exactly what I wanted to listen to right now. With the music playing, I began unpacking the things for my bed, pillowcases, and stuff. I kept going for a few hours until most things were unpacked. It would take a few days until I find the perfect spots for each little thing but eventually, this will feel like home. I made myself ready to go to bed, exhausted from unpacking and saying goodbye. I quickly fell asleep, the bed felt unfamiliar but weirdly comforting.

The next morning, I woke up feeling anxious, this was the first chance I had to find a friend. That was my goal for now. One friend. Just one. Shouldn’t be too hard, right? I got dressed and went outside to find my way to the assembly for new students.

Once I found the right assembly hall for my major, I went inside, 5 minutes until it began. I looked around, most people seemed to be talking with someone already, the few who weren’t were talking on the phone looking around trying to find someone, or waving their arms to other people who jogged over to them. I felt like I was the only one who was alone. I shook away the anxiety and continued walking, I found an empty place in the middle row, on the far right. My view of the stage wasn’t great but it would do. I tried to find an opportunity to say ‘hi’ or ‘hello’ to anyone around me, but no one seemed to even notice me.

The assembly began, and it ended just as quickly. The assembly hall emptied out until I was the only one left. I felt like a lone flower that had been left on a field, watching as the other flowers were happily picked to be placed in hair or beautiful bouquets while I was left to wither alone. I walked back to my dorm room. Day one, total fail.

After cooking dinner, I brought the food to my room and sat down on my tiny couch that barely fit in the room with my bed, table, and wardrobe. I Facetimed Seungkwan. Surely hearing his voice and seeing his face, would make this day better.

“Hi (Y/n)!” “Hey, Boo, how’s your day been?” “It’s been good, Dino says hi too, he’ll be upset if I don’t say that. First day wasn’t that exciting, I mean, we know everyone and everything that happens here. How’s your day been though?” I looked down at my phone a little, Seungkwan immediately knew that something was wrong. “Well it was alright, I attended the assembly, and I made dinner. Nothing else happened,” “Did you talk to anyone?” “No,” I sighed. “I tried, I really did, Kwannie, but, everyone seemed to already have 1 or 5 friends,” “It’s okay, it was just the first day. You’ll find someone eventually!” We chatted for a few more minutes after that, until he had to go. I missed him. I missed his hugs and even if I hated it at the time, the way he would tickle me whenever I frowned to make me laugh.

After finishing my dinner, I dejectedly went to bed. My excitement quickly washed away, being overtaken by anxiety and my low self-esteem. Throughout the rest days of the week, I attend my classes, I try to talk with people but I never manage to actually do it. One week has gone by, and I still don’t know anyone’s name. I haven’t spoken to anyone. Whenever my parents call I tell them that I am happy, that I’m having fun, I don’t want them to worry. Seungkwan, Shua, and Wonwoo are the only ones who know how I am actually feeling. Minghao kind of knows, he figured I wasn’t telling him everything when he visited me on Wednesday. It was a surprise witness because he was here to buy a book from someone. It was nice seeing a familiar face, yet it also reminded me of how lonely I am.

Seungkwan came over for the weekend, he came early on Saturday morning, I showed him around the campus. I was happy to have him around again but even after just a week apart, it didn’t feel like how it used to feel. Hugging him and kissing him, felt unfamiliar, like he wasn’t the boy I had grown up with and been together with for the last years. I saw it in Seungkwan’s eyes that he too felt it. This weird feeling. This distance between us. I tried pushing it away, I tried to imagine that everything was perfect, like it used to be.

Almost a month had gone by, and I had still been unable to find a single friend. Seungkwan and I went from calling each night, to texting throughout the day, to a single text every day, to a text every other day. I was busy with classes, he was busy with classes and his friends. The distance that we felt that first week was only growing larger and larger. At this point, it felt wrong to say that we were in a relationship. Shouldn’t we yearn to speak with one another if we were in love? Yet, I wasn’t feeling as devastated at the lack of contact as I probably should have been. Did this confirm what I thought when Jihoon and I broke up? That long distance was impossible.

That weekend, I was going home to visit my parents. I was also going to talk with Seungkwan. I wanted to break up. I had talked to Minghao about it first, he felt like the best one to ask. He told me that if I was even thinking about breaking up without talking to anyone, then that is what I must do because, in my heart, I knew that I had lost feelings for Seungkwan. The advice was so simple but it truly did help me. As long as I had known Minghao, he had always been a boy, now a man, who used simple words, yet they held so much meaning.

The talk hurt but it felt good to know that Seungkwan felt the same. Maybe we could find each other in the future again. I knew this also meant that our friendship would change, but maybe that could be healed with time. After all, everyone always says that time heals all wounds.

When I returned to college it was time for a camping trip. It was a tradition that had been going on for over a decade. The first years would be put into groups and sent out with a teacher to different camping grounds to compete against each other in trivia and activities. I had decided that this was my last chance at making a friend. If I don’t manage after this trip, then I’ll give up. I might even move to the same college Minghao is at. Hao had told me not to because this was my dream college, but I’d hate to spend four years alone.

I packed my bag with everything I needed for the camping trip, it would be 4 days and 3 nights. I was happy to hear that I got one of the better locations. It had a beautiful lake, while some people were camping in locations that felt like the backyard of a house. Or that was what I heard others saying as I walked past them.

However, there was one problem with my camping trip. Not the location, the group. Most groups had an even amount of girls and boys, so everyone could pair up 2 and 2 or 4 and 4 for the tents. Yet with my group, there were 5 girls and 5 guys, and we only had 2-person tents, so 1 girl and 1 guy would have to share a tent, which isn’t really that bad if the guy was nice. The worst thing about it was that the four other girls made the decision for us, the four of them were best friends so of course they would share tents, and that left me. The teacher apologized for this mishap but everyone said that it was fine. Even I did, though I was terrified.

I went over to the teacher, telling him that I was the one who would share the ‘coed’ tent. He smiled a little knowingly, he knew that it wasn’t exactly by free will. “Alright, (Y/n), this is Seokmin, Seokmin, this is (Y/n), for these three nights you will share a tent and you will be a team for the activities,” A tall boy with sharp and handsome features, and a smile as bright as the sun, stepped forward, hand out toward me, expecting me to shake it. I shyly put my smaller hand in his larger one, he energetically shook it. “Hi, I’m Seokmin, you can call me DK though if you want!” “Hi, I’m (Y/n),” “Come on, let’s build our tent, I hope you know how to, because, well, I don’t,”

Seokmin was radiant like a sun, he was energetic and kind. He was the human equivalent of a golden retriever. For the first time in a few weeks, I genuinely smiled, his smile and energy were contagious. Maybe this wasn’t so bad after all. Could this have been it? Could I maybe become friends with this guy?

It took almost an hour and then help from some of Seokmin’s friends, Mingyu and Jeonghan, until we managed to finish our tent. “Thanks, guys, I guess my teammate and I will have to hope we do well on the trivia ‘cause the practical things, well, they’re obviously not our thing,” “It’s fine, it took us a while to figure it out too. By the way, I’m Jeonghan and this is Mingyu, over there by the water is Vernon and some other guy we don’t really know,” Jeonghan said. His smile was friendly, yet a little mischievous, half angel half devil looking. Mingyu was quite tall, yet he too seemed like a golden retriever. I hadn’t met Vernon yet but I assumed he was nice too seeing as these three were.

“So, (Y/n), you from here or just here for the university?” “Just for uni, though I’m not from too far away. It takes about 2 hours to drive between uni and my town,” “Cool, which town are you from?” As we were packing up our pillows and stuff, Seokmin started a conversation. “I’m from (wherever). What about you? Just here for uni or?” “Wait, you’re from (wherever)? I’m from there too!” “Really?” “Yeah! I lived on the south of the town, went to Pledis High,” “Oh, I lived on the north side of town and went to Hybe High,” “That’s so cool, we’re from the same town and now we’re here at the same uni!” “Yeah, that’s kind of cool,” Talking with Seokmin felt like talking to an old friend I had known for years.

“How come you ended up being in this tent?” “Well, we thought that for the sake of the girl, we would choose the most easy-going guy, and like the least intimidating. I mean Mingyu is a sweetheart but he can seem scary at times, Jeonghan is nice too but he has a bit of a reputation for being mischievous, Vernon is well he’s Vernon, he doesn’t talk too much unless you find a topic he likes, the fourth guy, I don’t even know his name, but he too seemed a bit more reserved so that left me,” “That’s so sweet of you guys, thinking about the comfort of others,” Seokmin smiled and gave me two big thumbs up.

“How did you end up in this tent?” “I kind of don’t know anyone here, and the other four girls are best friends so the decision was made without my consent, but I don’t really mind, especially now that I have met you, feels like I maybe just made my first friend in college,” “What? How come you don’t have any friends?” I looked down at my hands, a bit ashamed. “All my life I always made friends through my childhood best friend, he’s like super extroverted, and I’m, well, not. So, he always made the connection, and then by association, they became my friends too,” “Well, anyone who doesn’t want to be friends with you is stupid, you seem like a really cool girl,” “Thanks, DK,”

Too soon, the trip was over. I couldn’t be happier as I had made 4 new friends, Seokmin, Mingyu, Jeonghan, and Vernon. Even if I didn’t share a class with any of them, everything felt better as I wasn’t alone anymore.

~ End of flashback ~

I looked at some of the photos from the camping trip. My favorite was probably the one that Vernon took of me and Seokmin during one of the nights. We had built small fires and sat around them in groups. In this photo, Seokmin was on my right as we shared a small log to sit on, we both held a stick in our hands, two burned marshmallows on them, and we were laughing after Mingyu had dropped his stick in the fire. My smile was brighter than ever in the photo, my eyes seemed to have found a sparkle that I hadn’t ever seen before in myself. Seokmin was laughing just as much, his smile as bright as the sun. His gaze was focused on me rather than the disappointed Mingyu who was in front of us, I don’t think I’ve noticed that before. The way he looked at me, resemble the loving gazes you’d see in a romance movie. Maybe we both fell in love that night, maybe we didn’t.

There was another photo from that trip that I loved. It was a group picture of myself, Seokmin, Mingyu, Jeonghan, and Vernon. I was standing in the middle of the tall boys, all of us smiling, Seokmin had his arm around my shoulders, we were all looking at the guy taking the picture, and right as he took the picture, all the boys pulled funny faces without me knowing. I didn’t find out until after the trip when I was given the stack of photos from Jeonghan as the pictures were all taken on some old camera the fourth guy, whose name was Sangyeon I learned a bit later, brought with him.

~ Flashback in third person POV ~

When the next week of classes began, (Y/n) woke up feeling excited and confident. On Sunday, Jeonghan came over with the pictures from the trip, he also brought some snacks with him. (Y/n) gave him a container with some food, during the trip she had told the boys about this stew she usually makes and they all wanted to try it so she prepared some for them.

As she walked into her class, she sat down, she noticed people staring at her and whispering, but she didn’t think too much about it. She felt this way most days. Like everyone was whispering about her, staring at her because she’s the weird loner-girl without friends. Today, it felt more intense but (Y/n) tried to ignore it, leaving it to be her own anxiety demon eating away at her newfound happiness and confidence.

After her first class, the group of girls who had been at the same campsite as (Y/n) came up to her. “How was it?” (Y/n) was confused, “How was what?” The girls snickered and glared at her with nasty looks in their eyes. “You know, throwing yourself at Seokmin and the others,” “I didn’t, what? What do you mean?” “Don’t play innocent now, everyone knows that you practically begged Seokmin to sleep with you, to kiss you, because you’re so lonely,” (Y/n) took a step back. Had Seokmin said these things? “I didn’t throw myself at him. I didn’t do any of that,” “Hmm, it probably didn’t work, not even Seokmin is kind enough to sleep with you,”

(Y/n) was so hurt by the encounter that she ran home to her dorm, skipping the rest of the day. She was smart enough to skip one class without falling behind, she could keep up. Her phone dinged with messages every now and then, she knew from whom. She had assigned special ringtones to all of her friends so that she knew who was messaging her. In the last 3 hours, it had been 17 messages from Seokmin, 11 from Jeonghan, 8 from Minghao, 2 from her mom, and 1 from Vernon. She only answered Minghao and her mom.

Most of Minghao’s messages had been pictures of clothes, some for himself but also some that he thought would look good on (Y/n). She agreed, everything looked great. Her mom was asking about the camping trip, she only answered that it was fun, and sent some pictures of the lake.

It wasn’t until the next day that she checked what Seokmin, Jeonghan, Vernon, and even during the night, Mingyu had wanted. They had asked about eating lunch together, joining them for a movie night on Wednesday, eating dinner together, if (Y/n) was okay, if something had happened, and some other similar topics.

She left them all on read and got ready for classes. When lunch arrived, she wasn’t prepared for the fact that Seokmin was waiting outside the door of her class. He pulled her aside the second that he saw her. “Woah, oh, hey, Seokmin,” “Hey, is everything okay? You didn’t answer any of my messages yesterday and you left me on read this morning?” (Y/n) sighed. Shouldn’t he know what’s wrong? He’s the one who spread those rumors. It has to be, right? Right?

“I don’t know,” Was all she could say. She didn’t want to actually accuse him of creating and spreading the rumors, what if she was wrong? She didn’t want to lose her first friend because of that. “Something must have happened, two days ago you answered like normal but now you’re not answering at all, have I said anything? Have I done anything to hurt you? If so, please tell me because I want to apologize for it,” Seokmin stared down into (Y/n)’s eyes with an intensity she had never before experienced. “Did you spread some rumor about the trip, about us at the trip?” (Y/n) searched his face, wanting to find any clue that would show her that he hadn’t done it. She was happy to find that he looked confused.

“What? No, of course not, I haven’t said anything other than that the trip was fun and I was happy to make a new friend,” (Y/n) looked away, a bit ashamed. Of course, he didn’t do it. “The other girls at our campsite told me yesterday that the whole school is talking about me, the lonely girl who threw herself at the poor guy who had shared a tent with her… They said that I apparently begged you to sleep with me and kiss me,” Seokmin’s eyes held so much sympathy yet his jaw clenched in what (Y/n) could only assume to be anger.

“I would never say those things, nor would the other guys, we all have sisters and we would hate it if someone did something like that to them. I’m so sorry, it must be awful having to hear people say that about you,” Seokmin gently wrapped his arms around (Y/n), slowly swaying them around as he tried to comfort her, trying to show her that he was innocent. “Thank you, and I’m sorry for jumping to the conclusion that you had created the rumor,” “It’s okay, I probably would have thought that way too, but hey, we know it’s not true and people will see it too,”

Seokmin’s heart was racing in a way it had never done before. It started during the trip, the very first time they saw each other, the way her small hand felt in his larger hand, the curve of her lips when she smiled, the sparkle in her eyes. Seokmin understood now, that he had fallen in love with her at first sight. He liked (Y/n), more than just a friend. He was ecstatic to finally have her back, even if they didn’t speak for just one day. As he released the hug, he glanced down at her lips, her lips finally curving back into her gorgeous smile, Seokmin wanted to kiss her, so he did.

On the forehead though, he managed to find some self-control in the last second. (Y/n) blushed as red as a tomato after the action. Her heart skipped a beat. “So, how about that movie night?” “It sounds lovely, of course, I wanna come,” “Great! Bring pajamas, or even better, just come in it, you can stay the night too, our movie nights tend to drag on quite late, so it’s better if you stay and go home in the morning instead of in the middle of the night,” “Are you sure that I can stay over? Won’t it be crowded?” “Nah, Jeonghan, Mingyu, Vernon, and I all share an apartment. There’s even an extra room, it’s made for five people to share. It was a bit nicer than getting a dorm and we would know who we’re sharing with,” “Woah, that sounds so nice,” “We should go or we’ll miss lunch, but hey, send me a text with your favorite snacks and I’ll make sure we have them for tonight, and I’ll text you the address, just call me or the other’s if you have any questions,”

The two said goodbye and went to eat lunch separately, mostly because their next classes were on opposite sides of the campus so eating lunch together today wasn’t convenient.

When (Y/n) got home that day, she packed a small bag with things she would need for the trip while also calling Joshua and Wonwoo. She needed advice on whether or not she should allow herself to like Seokmin or try to suppress her feelings that were slowly coming to life.

“Please help me, or I am going to die,” Joshua laughed loudly at (Y/n)’s panicked expression while Wonwoo tried to look around in the background of the Facetime call to see if there was an actual danger present. “What’s up? Haven’t heard from you for a few days, other than seeing some photos of that lake,” Joshua asked. “Well, I have officially made actual friends. Four guys, Seokmin, Jeonghan, Mingyu. and Vernon. They’re all from the same town as us, though from the south. I got to know them on the trip,” “Ohh, finally. Congratulations, our little girl has finally grown up!” The two boys teased, “Ya! be nice or I’ll call Hao and Coups instead,” “hey, we’re your number 1 boys, anyway, why are you almost dying?” (Y/n) began explaining everything that happened, what they did on the trip, the rumors, the connection with Seokmin.

“Kind of sounds like you’re in love, or at least like you have a crush on the guy,” Wonwoo said, pushing his glasses back up higher on his nose after they had slipped down. “I think that’s her problem, right?” Joshua said. He had always been good at understanding (Y/n), not as good as Seungkwan had but Shua was very close to it. “Mm,” (Y/n) just mumbled as she hid her face in her hands. “Look, if you like him, that’s okay, nothing has to happen. I’m sure you are scared that you will lose him and the others if you date him but you don’t know that for sure,” “You didn’t lose us or Jun, or Minghao, or Chan, or Seungcheol, even if you dated and broke up with Jihoon and Seungkwan,” Wonwoo added, matter of factly after Joshua.

“Thanks, guys, I’ll try to come and visit you next week or so,” “Sounds good, have fun tonight, and whatever the clock is, if you need us, just call, okay?” “yeah, same for you guys, bye, love you!” (Y/n) felt better after talking to her two best friends. She finished packing her things and began heading over to Seokmin’s place.

~ End of flashback, in (Y/n)’s POV ~

The next few photos were from the movie night. The first movie night that I spent with Seokmin and the other three boys.

The first couple of photos were of the apartment itself, it was really nice. Not too far from the university, the windows on one side of the apartment overlooked a beautiful garden filled with trees and flowers while the other side overlooked a part of the city.

The apartment was filled with different styled decor. Considering that the four boys had different styles, it was bound to be a bit chaotic but it also felt very homey. Anywhere you looked you’d find pieces of their personalities, each item a staple of one of the four boys who lived there.

I remember them having a large framed picture in the kitchen, the picture was of all four of them at their high school graduation, they were all smiling widely, their clothes soaked from the rain that had just washed over them, you could see their old school in the background, and in the bottom part of the frame they had written a short text “The start of Forever”. It was cheesy, very cheesy but it kind of went well with the picture.

Most people would see the high school graduation as the end of an era but they chose to see it as the start of something instead, they intended to stay friends, I sort of wished I had taken a photo of my friend group when we graduated, but we could always take one now. Though, it wouldn’t be the same. And my friend group is so different now from what it was.

The next few photos were of the boys, Mingyu was holding a tray filled with snacks, I remember his hands shaking from the weight of it despite his built frame. Jeonghan was making iced americanos for all of us in the kitchen, he was also shouting Vernon’s name for him to come and help carry the drinks, the photo was a bit blurry because he was moving around so much. Finally, there was a photo of Seokmin who was sitting on the couch, the TV remote in his hand as he was choosing the first movie for the night. The next photo was the one with the worst quality of all photos in my collection. It was a group photo taken in selfie mode by Mingyu. I was sitting in the middle of the sofa, squashed between Seokmin who had his arm thrown around my shoulders and his face squished up against my own, Jeonghan on my other side giving me bunny ears (though you could barely tell), Vernon was kneeling on the floor in front of Jeonghan, and Mingyu was half kneeling in front of Seokmin and myself with one of his arms stretched out as far as he could to fit us all in the frame causing him to be shaking a little, hence the bad quality. The photo, however, was one that we all found incredibly precious.

~ Flashback in (Y/n)’s POV ~

I sat down on the sofa beside Seokmin, who turned and smiled at me before he continued searching for the perfect movie to start the night. Soon enough, the other three boys joined us by the tv. “Oh, let’s take a group photo with your camera, (Y/n)!” I looked at Mingyu who was literally jumping with excitement. “I mean, we can try but I don’t know how it will turn out,” I answered a bit shyly. Mingyu grabbed the camera and kneeled on the floor while also telling Vernon to do the same, Jeonghan sat down beside me so that I was sandwiched between him and Seokmin. Seokmin threw his arm around my shoulder, squeezing our cheeks against each other as we tried to look straight into the camera that Mingyu held in his outstretched, shaking arm. We all laughed so much our cheeks hurt. Once the photo was taken, Vernon and Mingyu made themselves comfortable on the two small armchairs that stood beside the sofa. Jeonghan moved a bit more to the side, giving myself and Seokmin some more room to get comfortable.

Throughout the 5 movies (well 3 for me) we watched that night, I could feel Seokmin looking over at me from time to time, just as I did to him when he wasn’t watching. After the second or maybe it was the third movie, Seokmin put a blanket over my legs, they only had four blankets, so Seokmin gave me his, I felt bad that he was without one, so I moved a bit closer to him and tried to put some of the blanket over his legs. He smiled at me and then fixed the blanket so it covered his legs and lap better, now we were sitting so close to one another that you couldn’t even get a piece of paper between us.

It was nice, the close proximity brought on a lot of warmth. Suddenly, the movie in front of me wasn’t as interesting as the insides of my eyelids. Half-laying on the couch, cuddled up to Seokmin, made me feel safe like never before. Before the end of what I’m pretty sure was the third movie, I fell asleep with my head resting on Seokmin’s chest.

A couple of hours later, I was gently woken up by Seokmin shaking me while whispering my name. “Hey, did you have a nice nap?” I blushed as I realized that I had fallen asleep on him. “Uh, yeah, sorry about that,” He just smiled his usual contagious sunshine smile, and he gently ruffled my hair as he chuckled. “Don’t worry about it, it was really nice and cozy for me too, but I think for the sake of my back and your neck, it would be best to actually move to the beds,” “Yeah, that’s probably a good idea,”

We got up from the couch and Seokmin showed me the way to the room I would be sleeping in for the night. “Ta-da!” I laughed at the way he threw open the door and literally screamed ‘ta-da’ in the middle of the night. Surely they must receive a lot of noise complaints. Most of them are quite loud. It kind of reminds me of Chan, Seungkwan, Joshua and Jun, they too can be very loud when they want to be. Cheol, Wonwoo, and Minghao too but they are often a bit more calm, unless provoked.

“Wow, cozy,” I said jokingly. It was a room. There wasn’t much more to it. There was a bed, a window, walls, a floor, and a ceiling, I mean, it’s a room. No decor or any sign of anyone living there except for the fact that the bed was made so that I could sleep in it. “Yeah, seeing as it’s an extra room, we haven’t done anything with it, we’ve tried finding another roommate but anyone who has been interested just hasn’t been a good fit for our group, so the room has remained empty,” “People who don’t fit in with you guys? Do such people exist?” Seokmin walked over to the bed and sat down on it before waving me over, so I too walked over and sat down on the bed.

“Yeah, there are actually a lot of people who don’t fit in with us. A lot of people find it difficult to get along with Vernon because he’s quiet most of the time, I’m too much for most people, Mingyu is intimidating to most, and Jeonghan is too feminine because he has long hair. So while someone could get along with me, they don’t get along with Vernon, and someone who gets along with Mingyu often has trouble with Jeonghan and so on. We’re very different but we get along so well but apparently, that’s a rarity in this world,” Seokmin genuinely looked sad when talking about people not liking his friends.

“I guess my friend group at home is like that too, some people are very extroverted while others are the epitome of introverts, but we just work with each other there are many who don’t understand how we can be friends, I wonder sometimes too but whenever we all meet up, there are never any problems,” “Do you miss having your friends close by?” “Of course, how could I not miss them? I talk with most of them almost daily over texts and we often schedule video calls once a week to talk. But at the same time, I’m kind of happy that none of them came with me here, because if they did, I might not have met you guys,” Seokmin turned his head and smiled at me. “Don’t you think we would have become friends even if you had one of them with you?” “I don’t know, I guess it depends on who was here with me, if it were more than just one of them, I probably wouldn’t have even tried making new friends, I don’t know, it’s hard to tell,”

“Well, I’m very happy that we got to know each other,” Seokmin stood up from the bed, ready to leave the room, but before he took a step, he turned back to me, leaning down and planting a kiss on my head, just like he had before. “Sweet dreams!” And then he left. My face was flushed, as red as a tomato. I fell asleep, thinking only of that kiss. I really need to talk with the guys about this tomorrow.

The next morning, I woke up to someone, scratch that, it was 100 percent Seokmin, singing loudly in the kitchen while he watched Mingyu making some breakfast. Seokmin does give me Soonyoung vibes now that I think about it, they would probably get along. I changed into the clothes I had brought with me and then I walked out into the kitchen. “~ Good morning ~" Seokmin sang as he saw me opening the door. His voice was really nice actually, he could definitely have been an artist if he wanted to, he had the looks and the talent for it.

“Good morning, to you too, need any help making breakfast?” Mingyu turned and smiled at my question, “Yeah, that would be great, Jeonghan is out buying some things we forgot about yesterday but he should be back in a few minutes, and Vernon is still asleep unless DK has woke him up with all this singing,” “HEY, I’m just serenading everyone,” I laughed as they bickered with each other, walked over to the sink and washed my hands before I began helping Gyu with the food.

After a few minutes, the door opened and Jeonghan stepped inside with an overpacked bag in his hand. At the same time, another door inside the apartment opened and a very sleepy Vernon emerged from it. “Ya, help me carry this inside,” Vernon just grunted in response but he did walk over and grabbed the bag from Jeonghan’s hand. “I’m guessing he isn’t a morning person?” “Honestly, none of us are, Mingyu is probably the closest to it, I’m always energetic but mornings are a bit tougher for even me. Jeonghan usually wouldn’t get up early to go shopping but he did today for you,” “Awww, thanks Hannie,”

We ate breakfast and talked for about 2 hours, after that, I returned to my dorm room. It suddenly felt empty returning to it after just one night away, spending so much time with the guys really made me miss living together with someone. I was going to start unpacking my things from the sleepover when I remembered that I needed to debrief with someone, I was going to call Joshua but saw that he was busy so I ended up calling Minghao.

“Hey,” “Hi Hao, are you busy? Or do you have time to talk?” “I always have time for you,” “Great, okay, this is sort of a long story cause I have to start from the beginning,” And so I told him of everything that had happened since I met Seokmin and the others all the way until this morning. “Throughout the night I just kept dreaming of that kiss,” “Hmm, it really does sound like you like him. And from what I hear, he doesn’t seem like such a bad guy, none of them seem like it. So what’s the problem?” I sighed, as I continued unpacking my things. “What if he doesn’t like me back? What if I mess things up by saying something? I mean, I don’t really have the best track record of relationships,”

“Ya, idiot, you can’t think like that. We’re still young, most people would have been through 5 or maybe even 10 relationships by now, and you’ve been through 2. Those have been good, but the timing hasn’t been perfect, but that doesn’t mean that you don’t know who is right for you, besides, thanks to your relationship with Jihoon, you got to know me, Cheol, and Hoshi, things may be weird for you and Boo right now but you still have all the others, and Boo and you will find one another again, I’m sure of it”

“Since when did you become so wise, Hao?” “Since always, I’m just that great you know. No, but, (Y/n), I’m just being realistic in this. Would he have kissed you on the head if he didn’t feel something for you?” I thought hard about it, Seokmin is a pretty touchy guy, but I had never seen him do something like that to anyone else. “I’m not sure, but maybe not… Ahhh, I wish you were here so that you could meet him and let me know if I should go for it or not,” “Want me to come by and visit next weekend? Jun was gonna come to me, but I can tell him to wait or he could come with me to visit you,” “That would be awesome, I haven’t seen him for so long,” “I’ll see you on Saturday then, in the meantime, remember to just breath and don’t panic, okay?” “Thank you, Minghao, I’ll see you on Saturday, take care”

Minghao really did make me feel better, and I looked forward to seeing him and Jun again. After Seungkwan and I broke up, Minghao has really been my rock, it’s also easiest for the two of us to meet up as we don��t live too far from one another, only about a 30-minute train ride. The others are at least 2 hours away, some even being as far as 4 hours, so it’s not really a trip you’d make out of the blue.

The week went by in the blink of an eye, I barely had time to see Seokmin or any of the guys as I had a lot of assignments to work on, I just managed to tell Jeonghan as we passed each other in the hallway that two of my friends were coming to visit during the weekend and they’d love to have dinner with the gang here. I was a bit nervous, what if they don’t get along with each other? I know they’re all friendly but what if their personalities clash, I just had to hope for the best but in my mind, I was panicking.

Saturday morning came around, and I woke up way earlier than I usually do to go to the train station and met Minghao and Jun there. They didn’t know I would go there but I wanted to see them as soon as possible. The air was a bit chilly with winter approaching and I realized that I definitely didn’t bring a good enough jacket with me for this little trip but the boys’s train was just arriving and then we could hurry back to my dorm. It would be a tight fit for all three of us to stay there but we would manage.

Minghao and Jun were the only two people getting off the train at this station so finding them was quite easy. “(Y/n)!!!” Jun yelled as he ran over to me, enveloping me in a tight hug. “Junhui!! Haooo!!” I yelled in response as I laughed. Being so close to Jun again, I couldn’t help but take in a big sniff of his scent, he smelled like home. Once I was released from Jun’s hug, I walked over to Minghao and gave him a hug too, he smiled down at me and petted my head, something he often does to me. I once asked why he did that, and he just answered “Because I like doing it and you always smile when I do it”.

“Come on, I want to show you guys my dorm,” We all chuckled before we began the 10-minute walk back to the campus, talking about everything and nothing as we walked, I filled in Jun on the situation. “So, we’re here to decide if he’s good enough for you or not, got it” “How can you say that, Jun? No one will ever be good enough for our (Y/n),” Minghao said jokingly. “Ya, stop it you two,”

Once we arrived back at my dorm, I showed the two boys around, thanking my lucky stars that I had actually gotten that single dorm room so that I could bring over a guest or two. “So, here we have the bed and beside it, the couch, and then the tiny kitchen, and over there we have the bathroom, and that is it,” “I mean it’s small but you’ve decorated it nicely, I especially love this picture,” Minghao said teasingly as he pointed to one of the photos I had on the wall, this one, in particular, was one from when I first got to know him, Jihoon and I were standing in the front as we were the shortest, behind us were Minghao, Seungcheol, and Soonyoung. It was precious to me, not only because it had Jihoon in it but also because the other three were there.

“I like this one! I look so good in it, no one is hotter than me,” Jun said happily as he pointed to another one of the photos on my wall. This one was of myself, Jun, Joshua, Wonwoo, Chan, and Seungkwan. Only Jun, Wonwoo, and I were looking at the camera, the others were looking at each other laughing so loudly that their faces were red. “Hmm, yeah that is one of your better pictures, probably your only one though,” Jun dramatically gasped and turned around to look at me in disbelief at my teasing. “I’m gonna tickle you if you don’t admit that was a lie within 3 seconds,” “Alright, alright, you’re one handsome boy,” “I know,” All three of us broke out into laughter at that, once we calmed down, we began fixing a mattress for one of the boys, the other one would sleep on the couch.

A couple of hours later it was time to meet up with Seokmin, Mingyu, Jeonghan, and Vernon to eat dinner. Minghao went through my entire closet picking out the perfect outfit for the dinner, also making sure that Jun, Hao, and I were matching in a subtle way. I ended up wearing a black dress that I bought 3 years ago but never wore, it still looked great on me but I never felt like the occasion was right for the dress Hao was adamant that I wear it, Minghao picked out a gold necklace with a small red charm on it, some small gold hope earrings, and finally Jun’s black leather jacket with red details on it. Jun was planning on wearing the jacket himself but Minghao stole it and said it would look better on me, Jun agreed and so I ended up with his jacket.

Hao and Jun were almost wearing identical outfits, black dress pants, and gold accessories, the biggest difference in their outfits was the shirts they were wearing and their jackets. Minghao wore a black dress shirt with some slight red details to it and a long black coat, while Jun was wearing a white shirt and a dark grey coat that had a red flower stitched on the back of it.

Just a few minutes before the three of us arrived at the restaurant, Seokmin sent me a text letting me know the four of them were there and waiting outside. I was feeling a little anxious, scared that this would turn into a chaotic mess if the boys didn’t get along with each other.

“(Y/n)!” Just as we rounded a corner, DK saw me and shouted my name, Minghao and Jun both halted in their steps looking at the guy who had shouted, but as they saw the large smile on the guy's face, he was waving his whole arm as much as he could, and the three other guys standing a step behind him smiling and waving normally. “I’m guessing that’s Seokmin?” Jun said, “Yeah, hard to miss, right?” “He seems friendly,” Hao added as we continued walking over to the group.

“Hey, guys, this is Junhui and Minghao. And this is Seokmin, Mingyu, Jeonghan, and Vernon,” Seokmin immediately pulled me into a hug as I finished the introduction while the other guys all shook hands. “Okay, let’s head inside and get some food,” Jeonghan said as he led the way inside.

Dinner went quite well, all of the guys found common interests and they seemed to get along quite well, even Vernon was very talkative, and my anxiety slowly washed away with every genuine laugh and smile shared between the seven of us. I couldn’t help but look at the way Seokmin looked tonight, though not very dressed up he still looked great, he was wearing simple dark wash jeans and a grey dress shirt, a gold watch on his wrist, and a gold chain around his neck. His black hair shone under the lights, making it seem like he was glowing.

Minghao nudged my leg and leaned in, whispering in my ear, “If you keep staring like this the whole restaurant will know that you’re in love with the guy,” I blushed at the comment and lightly pushed his shoulder, “Ya, you can’t say things like that,” I tried composing myself but it was hard with both Minghao and Jun giving me knowing looks, as I tried looking away from them I met Jeonghan’s eyes, he too was giving me a knowing look, mischievous smirk, and a raised brow, Holy shit, what if he knows about my crush on DK and says something?!?

“Are you guys sure you will be fine in (Y/n)’s small dorm? You could always crash at our place, it’s a bit bigger than the dorm,” Mingyu kindly offered. “Nah we’ll be fine, we’re used to being way too many people in any room, that’s what you get for being part of a large friend group,” Minghao answered as he put his arm around my shoulder, staring intently at Seokmin.

We said goodbye to the guys and headed back to my apartment, I was eager to hear what Hao and Jun had to say about Seokmin and the other three as well. Once we arrived inside my dorm Jun and I sat down on my bed while Minghao sat on the couch. “Okay so, what did you think?”

“They all seemed nice, I didn’t get any bad vibes from any of them, I actually quite enjoyed talking with them and hanging out with them so, I approve of them,” Jun said from beside me, Minghao looked a bit more skeptical, which made me nervous. “I agree with Jun on most parts, didn’t get any bad vibes, they were nice and fun to hang out with. When it comes to your lover boy though,” He paused what he was saying and looked into my eyes, my heart was beating so violently in my chest I was sure the dorms next to mine could hear it.

“He seems like he really likes you, he immediately noticed our matching outfits, causing him to frown and pout, when I leaned in and whispered something to you, he glared daggers into my soul. The way he hugged you when we first arrived, was enough confirmation that he really likes you, his smile, the way his body relaxed into yours, he’s probably more in love with you than you are with him from what I’ve seen,” “You really think so?” “I’d bet my life on it, he really likes you, and I think he’d be good for you, they are all exactly like you said they’d be, well except for Vernon, he wasn’t very quiet,” “Yeah, even I was surprised with him, he seemed so comfortable with you guys,” “You wanted to know if we would approve of Seokmin for you, and at least, I do,” Minghao finally said, relief flowed through my body, if there was anyone who wouldn’t approve of him, it would have been Minghao, but if he approves, Seokmin must have really impressed him.

“What about you Jun, what do you think?” I nervously asked him. While Jun wasn’t as skeptical of people as Minghao could be, he was sort of like a brother to me, more so than any of the others in our friend group, so his opinion really matters to me. “You two would look good together, and, he seems like someone who will treat you well. Your eyes are shining and sparkling like never before, you look so happy with him around, so alive,” I leaned in and hugged Jun, who quickly hugged me back, “Thank you, for coming here and helping me out, also, I’ve missed you both,”

“We’ve missed you too, most of the others were so jealous that we were coming to visit you, especially Joshua and Soonyoung,” Minghao said. “Yeah, Shua was angry at me for calling you before him about this but it made more sense to ask you to come here, you know because of the distance, Jun just so happened to be visiting you so it ended up being the three of us,” Jun laughed loudly as he tried to tell us something about Soonyoung but it was hard to understand as he was laughing too much. Eventually, Hao and I managed to understand what he was saying. “Soonyoung was trying to sneak into my bag so that I would take him with me, the problem was, obviously, the bag was way too small for him to even fit half of himself inside it,” Minghao and I also broke out into laughter as we imagined how that would have looked, such a Hoshi thing to do. Damn, I really wanted to hang out with all my friends but I had to wait until Christmas to go home, so I had to wait another 5 weeks until then.

We continued talking for a while until we finally decided to head to bed, right before laying down, I checked my phone and saw a text from Seokmin and one from Jeonghan. I checked Seokmin’s text first, “I had a lot of fun today, (Y/n), your friends seem nice! Maybe we can eat lunch together some day this week? Anyways, sweet dreams,” Cute. I answered that I also had fun and that I’d love to eat lunch with him someday. Then I checked the text from Jeonghan, it was short, but it made me nervous. “I know you like him, 😏” I knew he wouldn’t do anything bad but it still made me nervous, so I just answered: “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Maybe I should take a chance and confess my feelings to him, eventually.

Sunday passed quickly and way too soon, Jun and Minghao had to leave. Once I came back to my dorm from the train station, my dorm felt lonely and cold. It had been so nice to have the comfort of my friends, even if it was a tight fit, I really missed having them around.

Monday came and I went to my classes, lunch with Seokmin was booked for Wednesday, so for today, I’d eat alone, or so I thought. Just as I was walking towards the cafeteria, I ran into Vernon. “Hey, Vernon, you heading to the cafeteria?” “Yeah, what about you?” “Yeah, me too. Want to eat together?” “Sure, the others are busy so I thought I’d eat alone, but I wouldn’t mind some company,” “Nice, same for me, I prefer eating with someone over eating alone,” And so the two of us went to the cafeteria together, bought our food and found a table.

For a while, we just sat in silence, eating, but it wasn’t awkward, it would have been with most others but not with Vernon, his silence, and his calmness were almost comforting in the loud buzzing of the cafeteria. “How long have you and Seokmin been dating without telling us?” “WHAT?” I said uncharacteristically loud. “Jeonghan noticed how the two of you acted during dinner on Saturday, we support the relationship but we’re sad you didn’t tell us,” “Vernon, what do you mean? Seokmin and I aren’t dating?” He looked shocked. “Huh? You’re not?” “No, we’re not,” “Oh, hehe, well, um then, maybe, forget what I just asked,” “Why did you think, or Jeonghan, think, we were dating?”

“I don’t know, something about the way you look at each other, the way you are so close physically, you both slightly blush whenever you accidentally touch one another as we walk, you literally fell asleep on him during movie night and he seemed so happy when that happened that we all just assumed you were dating,”

Vernon shrugged as we had been talking about something small and insignificant, just brushing it off and continued eating his lunch. I sat there, confused. Maybe Minghao was right, maybe Seokmin was actually in love with me. I had to focus on classes after that but it was hard as my mind kept replaying every moment I had spent with Seokmin, trying to see what everyone else was seeing, but I guess I was too blind with love for him to see it.

Wednesday couldn’t come soon enough, Seokmin stood outside my classroom, ready to eat lunch together, but he had no idea what would happen. I was going to confess my feelings to him. Unless I chicken out in the last second.

“Hey, (Y/n)!” “Hey, DK, come, I want to go somewhere other than the cafeteria today,” “Alright,” Seokmin grabbed my hand and let me lead the way to wherever I wanted to go. I led him to the schoolyard, it was cold outside, the ground covered in a small layer of snow, the trees were bare from leaves, and the sun was low on the sky, even though it was midday, it would soon begin its descent. “Why are we outside? Won’t it be cold to eat here?” Seokmin asked, still keeping his charming smile on his lips, even though he looked a little confused.

“I have something to say first, and I didn’t want to do it inside, promise to just hear me out before you say anything okay?” “Of course, I’ll listen to whatever you have to say,” I took a deep breath, here we go.

“I like you, as more than just a friend,” That was not how I planned on saying this. I had a whole script about how he’s amazing and has made me feel seen in a way like never before, but I was so nervous that I just blurted it out before I could chicken out. I now stood and nervously looked at his face, worried about his answer. “Can I talk?” He asked, the same charming smile still on his lips. I nodded, too scared to speak. “When you say that you like me as more than a friend, do you mean like romantically?” Once again, I just nodded. Before I could react, Seokmin engulfed me in a tight hug, spinning us around as he cheered. Once he finally stopped, I was feeling a little dizzy, but I looked up at him, meeting his warm eyes.

“I like you too, a lot, and I have for a while,” Then he leaned in, and placed a gentle kiss on my lips, to which I quickly reciprocated. The kisses I had shared with Jihoon and Seungkwan, were nothing compared to this one. Seokmin made me feel butterflies, and fireworks, whilst also making me feel safe and secure in his arms. The wind was cold and bitter, but I felt warm and happy, as we stood there sharing many kisses, giggling like children as we gazed into each other's eyes.

“I was so worried that you and Minghao were together or something, the way he seemed so protective over you, the way he leaned in and whispered to you, made me feel sad and jealous,” I was surprised to hear him say that. “Oh, well, Minghao is kind of like that with all his friends, he doesn’t really like sharing that much, but he’s very nice when you get to know him. And the whispering was probably a test to see your reaction, that was kind of the whole point with their trip here, to help me figure out if I should go for it and confess my feelings for you,”

“I’m guessing, they approved seeing as we’re here right now?” Seokmin looked nervous, probably wanting to hear that my friends had approved of him. “Yeah, they really liked you and the guys,” “What a relief,” “Yeah, so, you’re my boyfriend now?” “No,” “No?” I was confused. “(Y/n), would you be my girlfriend?” Seokmin’s smile widened as he saw my realization of why he had said no just now. “Yes, Seokmin, I will be your girlfriend,” “Now, I’m your boyfriend,” “Can my boyfriend give me another kiss?” “Of course,” And so he leaned in, planting another kiss on my lips.

“Hey, let’s take a picture!” Seokmin exclaimed loudly, he quickly unlocked his phone and began positioning his arm so that he could fit us both in the frame, he smiled widely while looking into the camera, I on the other hand, leaned up and planted a kiss on his cheek just as he took the picture.

~ End of flashback still (Y/n)’s POV ~

I found the printed version of that photo in the pile in front of me. This photo meant so much to me, Seokmin meant so much to me, he really helped me become more outgoing and carefree, the four years that we were together were amazing, and I wouldn’t change them for anything.

Four years. My longest relationship so far. But every good thing eventually comes to an end. However, this one hurt differently from the two previous ones I went through. With Jihoon, it was my first relationship but the time wasn’t right and we had to break up, we were too young to handle a long-distance relationship, we still text every now and then, and he’s a precious friend. Seungkwan probably hurt the most because we had grown up together and breaking up our romantic relationship felt like I would lose him forever, we started talking more again 2 years after our break up, things still aren’t the same between us but at least he’s still my friend.

Seokmin. My sunshine. Breaking up with him, made everything feel empty, and dark. Perhaps, DK and I can find our way back to each other just like I have with Jihoon and Boo. I looked at the last picture we took as a couple. Graduation day, just like our first picture as a couple, he was looking at the camera and I was kissing his cheek.

~ Flashback in third person POV ~

The newfound couple was inseparable, they met up for lunch every day that they could, always ate dinner together, Friday nights and Saturdays and even Sundays were mandatory date days. Their friends understood that they were happily in love but sometimes they thought that Seokmin and (Y/n) were just too much.

Seokmin spent countless nights at (Y/n)’s dorm and (Y/n) spent countless nights over at Seokmin and the guys’ house. It came to the point that Jeonghan even said. “Why don’t you just move in here? You’re here all the time anyway,” He sounded annoyed but he loved having (Y/n) around, they were good friends, he was just joking but Seokmin thought it was a great idea.

“(Y/n), will you move in with me? Er, us?” “I mean, if it’s okay with everyone then sure,” No one said anything other than yes so (Y/n) packed up her things from the dorm and brought them over to the house, or apartment, it felt like living with a family again. She had felt lonely after Minghao and Jun had visited, but not anymore, the apartment was buzzing with life 24/7.

Four years passed by in the blink of an eye. All five of them had managed to complete their studies and they were graduating. The boys had dressed up in suits and (Y/n) wore a long wine-red dress. Seokmin had some wine-red details on their suits so that the couple matched. All of (Y/n)’s friends and family came to watch the graduation, and the rest of the boys were happy to finally meet Seokmin and his group. They all got along great, almost as if they had known each other for centuries.

However, things went south after the graduation dinner. (Y/n) and Seokmin went on a walk, just the two of them, talking about everything. Now it was time for them both to find work and be actual adults, they had heard that most other college couples from the graduating classes had either broken up or gotten engaged.

“So, what do you think will happen to us? Will we end up like the others?” Seokmin asked as we walked hand in hand under the moonlit sky. “I don’t know, no one ever does in these situations, I’m going back home, I’ve gotten some job offers there, and you’re staying here for work. That’s a two-hour drive for us to meet up, which could be worse, but in the long run, will it work? I want it to because I love you but I also don’t want us to suffer from it,” (Y/n) stopped and looked up at the moon, feeling some sort of deja vu, all her relationships had ended because of the distance.

“I want to believe we could make it even if we live 2 hours from one another but realistically, if we both have work in different cities, we will be building lives in those cities, 2 hours might not seem like a lot now but eventually it will,” He looked down at (Y/n), he loved her so much but he knew, deep inside, he wouldn’t be able to date someone who lived 2 hours away. Seokmin loves physical touch, he loved living with her, having her close, kissing, hugging, and holding hands, you can’t do that if you’re partner is 2 hours away.

Tears began forming in (Y/n)’s eyes, her heart breaking from the words that would spill out of her mouth. “Let’s break up,” She was trying to be strong, she tried to smile, but her mouth was trembling as she fought to hold back her tears. Seokmin’s own eyes became glossy and a few tears escaped from them, for once he wasn’t smiling and shining brighter than the sun, no, now he looked sad, empty, hurt, dark. “It’s for the best,” He barely managed to get the words out, his voice trembling as he too fought back the tears.

“I love you, Lee Seokmim, I really do,” (Y/n)’s words were barely audible as she began crying, but Seokmin heard them, loud and clear. “I love you too, (L/n) (Y/n),” Seokmin’s tears ran freely down his cheeks, as he leaned in and the now broken-up couple shared one final kiss together. After the kiss, they separated from one another and left in different directions. Seokmin walked back to the apartment, while (Y/n) took out her phone and called Minghao, frantically crying.

Minghao was surprised to see that she was calling him so late but nonetheless, he answered, “Hey, what’s up?” “Mmh, can I… Uhm, oh god, can I stay in your hotel room with you?” “(Y/n), what’s going on? Why are you crying? Scrap that, where are you?” “I’m outside the hotel, just like 3 minutes away,” “I run down and meet you at the doors,”

The second Hao saw (Y/n) he ran over to her and embraced her in a hug as she cried into his chest. “We broke up,” Was all she could say before she broke down even more. “You don’t have to say anything more right now, but just so you know, I don’t have my own room, I’m sharing with Jun, Joshua, and Wonwoo, if you don’t want to go up there and share with them we can see if they have another room and book that, if you don’t want to talk, just squeeze my arm once for going to the guys and twice for a new room,” (Y/n) wouldn’t mind being comforted by the others as well so she gave Hao’s arm one tiny squeeze.

Hao led (Y/n) up to the room, the other three were surprised to see (Y/n) there, and especially crying hysterically. Minghao just mouthed, break up. And they all understood, (Y/n) and Seokmin were no longer together.

That night the four guys tried their best to comfort their heartbroken friend but they all knew that it would take time to get over this. They promised to help her out with packing up her things from the apartment she had shared with Seokmin, Jeonghan, Mingyu, and Vernon. All to help her come home faster.

Saying goodbye to the four guys who had been her closest friends at college, hurt, but she knew they would keep in touch, maybe not Seokmin to begin with but she hoped that they could stay friends, eventually, once both of them, had healed. (Y/n) moved back to her hometown, but not back in with her parents, no, she had accepted a job offer and had gotten her own apartment, it was small, but it was hers.

She often hung out with all her friends who still lived in the city, mostly with Minghao, Jun, Seungcheol, Soonyoung, Joshua, and Wonwoo. Dino and Boo still had a year at college before they would move back, Jihoon still lived far away but he was there in spirit, and his songs still reminded (Y/n) of the sound of home. Jeonghan and Vernon had moved back to the city as well, though they lived on the other side of town so she didn’t meet them often but every once in a while the whole group would eat dinner together. Seokmin and Mingyu stayed in the same city as their college, they visited sometimes but mostly their old friends.

Time kept going and they all grew up, some things stayed the same, and a lot of things changed. Just like the seasons of the year do. Spring comes with blooming flowers, then summer arrives with its heat and fun, then autumn with all its color, and finally winter with its chilly breeze and cozy atmosphere, before it all continues in a neverending cycle.

~ End of flashback, in (Y/n)’s POV ~

I had gone through most of the photos in the little box, happy to have been reminded of all these memories yet sad at the same time. I don’t know for how long I had been up here, the sky had turned dark, it must have been a few hours at least.

“(Y/n), darling? Are you up there?” “Yeah, give me a second, I’m on my way down,” “Be careful, don’t fall,” “I won’t, I promise ---”

~ To Be Continued ~

Who do you think (Y/n)’s boyfriend is? Is it Jihoon, has he suddenly returned to her life? Or is it Seungkwan, has their childhood friends-to-lovers trope returned? Or is it Seokmin? Have they resolved their long-distance problem? Or is it someone else? Perhaps a friend she has known for a long time? Someone she has relied on for many things?

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mirisss · 1 year ago

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As The Seasons Change Chapter 2

Chapter 2: The One Who Felt Like an Autumn Breeze

In this story, Woozi, Dk, and (Y/n) are the same age and Seungkwan is one year younger than them

(Y/n) is also shorter than all of them, ‘cause I am, and I don’t know how to write for tall people,

Boo Seungkwan x afab reader

Wordcount ≈ 4k

Warnings: sad, slight angst, break-up,

Taglist: @jeonghansemotionalsupportsword ,

Please reblog!

Third person POV

I picked up another pile of photos from the box, this one much thicker, and in a way much more precious because it contained so many memories. This pile contained my entire childhood you could say, pictures from when I was 2-3 years old, all the photos were of me and my best friend Seungkwan. We were always together, and every day of my life that was important involved Seungkwan. My very first memory (well that I can remember now) has him in it. It’s from Halloween when I was 5 and Seungkwan was 4, it was our first time going trick-or-treating. I was dressed like a cat and Seungkwan was dressed like a puppy. I looked through the photos and found one picture from that day. I didn’t look very happy because I wanted to be a dog too, Seungkwan was so excited he could barely stand still for the photo. Our parents had to take a couple of photos to get at least one good one, though because of Kwan’s energy half of them turned out very blurry. Seungkwan was there for me as I went through my first heartbreak when I broke up with Jihoon. Seungkwan made it hurt just a little bit less until it completely stopped hearting and my heart began beating for someone else.

~ Flashback in (Y/n)’s POV ~

The last days of the summer break were hard. All I wanted to do was shut myself in my room and cry. I missed Jihoon so much, I know we weren’t together for that long but he was my first love and I didn’t want to let him go. Even though I tried shutting the world out, my best friend, Seungkwan, wouldn’t allow me to do that.

*Knock knock*

“(Y/n)? Hello? I know you’re in there, your mom let me in. Open the door,” “(Y/n), come on, I’ll break down the door or risk my life climbing in through your window,” “You can shut everyone else out but not me, we promised to never do this to each other. So, open up this damn door so I can be depressed with you,” Seungkwan sat outside my bedroom door for 2 hours, talking to himself as if he was talking with me. At first, I was just annoyed with him but after a while, it felt comforting. So, after 2 hours, I unlocked my bedroom door and let him inside.

“(Y/n)! You’re okay,” Seungkwan immediately hugged me, he took a deep breath as he held me in his arms. “I’m sorry for shutting you out,” “It’s okay, you’re okay, so it’s okay, just please, never do it again,” “I promise, I’ll never shut you out again, Kwan,” “Good, now, do you want to eat ice cream and watch sad movies or go outside to see the world?” “Ice cream and movies, as long as you’re a part of the deal,” “Deal, you pick a movie and I’ll go get the ice cream from the freezer,” “But we don’t have any ice cream at home?” “I brought some with me, I just didn’t want to have it with me while waiting so I asked your mom to put it in the freezer,” “My smart Seungkwan,” Seungkwan gave me one more hug before he went downstairs, I heard him tell my mom that I had finally opened my door and let him inside. Mom was happy to hear that I had finally let Seungkwan in again, she knew I wouldn’t open up to her but I would always talk with Seungkwan. So, this was a step in the right direction.

Seungkwan forced me to get out of the house and walk around, he said that the sun would miss me if I didn’t. Seungkwan had always had a talent of making me happy and feel better whenever I was sad, he was my best friend for a reason. With one more day of summer break, Seungkwan pulled together a little party with some of our friends. At first, I didn’t want to go but eventually, Seungkwan along with Joshua and Wonwoo persuaded me. My heart still hurt from losing Jihoon, but each day was getting better, all thanks to my bestie Boo.

~ End of flashback, Third Person pov ~

(Y/n) flipped through some more photos that showed the growth of her and Seungkwan. In the first couple of photos, (Y/n) was taller than Seungkwan but throughout the years, he outgrew her. After looking at a few pictures, (Y/n) found a picture from the last day of summer break, from the party Seungkwan pulled together. It was a group picture, (Y/n) was in the middle with Seungkwan, Joshua, and Jun on her right and Chan and Wonwoo on her left. They were all smiling, laughing actually. Chan and Joshua had some cake smudged on their faces, courtesy of Seungkwan and Jun pushing their heads into the cake moments before taking the picture. That day was filled with happy memories, not once did (Y/n) think about Jihoon as she was too busy finally being happy again.

The next picture in the pile was a photo from the first day of (Y/n)’s second year in high school and Seungkwan’s first. They went to school together that day so (Y/n)’s parents took a picture of the two, saying they would cherish that when they got older.

~ Flashback in (Y/n)’s POV ~

I was excited to get back to school as I wouldn’t have as much time to think about Jihoon, sure I would see all the places we used to hang out but now I could make new memories there with Seungkwan. As Boo and I posed for the photo my parents wanted to take, I was eagerly awaiting the walk to school. Something I once dreaded, but now looked forward to. As long as I have Seungkwan with me, everything will be okay.

“Come on, let me show you around!” “Let’s go!” I showed Seungkwan all the good spots around the school before we had to get to our classes. We met up for lunch and ate together with our whole friend group. Seungkwan, Wonwoo, Joshua, Jun, Chan, and myself. It was nice to have all of them there. I also spoke with Seungcheol, Minghao, and Soonyoung during the day, something I never thought I would do as they reminded me of Jihoon too much. But I realized that during the moments I had met them, they too became my friends. Soon enough, they had joined my friend group and the boys quickly grew to like each other.

The days and weeks flew by and before we knew it, autumn was here. The leaves turned yellow and orange until they floated down to the ground, leaving the trees bare as the wind grew colder and stronger day by day. My heart was no longer shattered into a thousand pieces from the breakup with Jihoon. No, it had slowly been put together piece by piece thanks to Seungkwan. With every laugh, every movie we watched, all the times we held hands to not lose each other in a crowd, and all the ‘just because’ hugs.

Minghao invited all of us to a party to celebrate his birthday. He decided to celebrate a little earlier than usual to be able to have the party during Halloween. Our entire friend group was going + like a million people, Minghao knew a lot of people. Or, he just invited everyone hoping for more presents. In honor of 5-year-old me, I decided to dress up as a dog because I never had before and I really had been jealous of Seungkwan for being a dog that year. Unbeknownst to me, Seungkwan had a similar idea as he too dressed up like a dog just like that year from our childhood.

Seungkwan’s POV

I spent four days, pestering Joshua into asking (Y/n) what she was dressing up as for Minghao’s party. I wanted to match with her without her knowing it happened intentionally. Hoping it would make her realize that we were meant to be. I had been in love with her since I was 12 so it did hurt seeing her get into a relationship with someone else, and I would be lying if I said I wasn’t a little happy when they broke up. Though it mostly hurt, seeing my best friend so broken. Even if we never become anything more than friends that's fine with me, I’m okay with just standing by her side, being her best friend. But I do dream of what it would be like if we dated.

After four days of pestering Joshua, he did ask her. Hearing her idea, I couldn’t help but smile. I remembered that Halloween, our first trick or treat, holding hands as we walked door to door in our neighborhood. Sometimes I think I fell in love with her that day, I probably did. I quickly hurried out and bought everything I needed to put together my own dog costume, one that would resemble the one I had that day a few years ago.

(Y/n)’s POV

I was running a bit late to the party as it took longer than expected to get my makeup right. Seungkwan and the others were meeting me at the party, so at least I wasn’t holding anyone else back. I quickly ran down the stairs and threw on my shoes before rushing outside to head over to the party.

It didn’t take me too long to get to the party. I knocked on the door and waited for someone to open it. About a minute later it was opened and I was surprised to find Seungkwan dressed as a puppy on the other side of it. “YOU’RE A PUPPY TOO?” “Hello to you too, (Y/n). And, yes, what else would I be?” We laughed it off before we headed inside. I was the last of our closest friend group to arrive so Seungkwan led me over to the others.

The night was quite fun, we danced, sang, and had some competitions here and there. Overall, the party was very successful. Minghao was happy with everything. Eventually, people began leaving the party and before we knew it, only our friend group was left. We didn’t feel ready to part just yet so we sat down in a circle on the ground and just talked. Chan suddenly gave a suggestion that I wasn’t expecting, he suggested we played “Truth or dare” and all the boys were quick to agree.

Most of the dares and the truths were stupid things like “Do an impression of Professor Kim” “Drink this disgusting drink we made of random things in the fridge,” Everything was quite harmless and fun, or at least until it was once again Seungkwan’s turn to be asked and he chose dare. Joshua, Jun, and Dino looked at one another mischievously while snickering. “We dare you to, kiss (Y/n),” “WHAT?” Seungkwan and I said in unison and in panic.

Seungkwan looked at me nervously as he crawled closer to me, just as he was kneeling in front of me he whispered “Is this okay?” “Yes,” Normally I would have said no, but something in me told me to say yes. Seungkwan slowly leaned in and gave me a quick peck on the lips, to which all our friends broke out into loud cheers and whistles. Once the kiss was over, Seungkwan’s face was as red as a tomato. Mine probably was too. Our eyes met for a second before we quickly looked away, Seungkwan moved back to his original seat. For the remaining hour of the party, Seungkwan and I didn’t look at each other once.

When I got home that night, as I laid down in bed, all I could think about was how much I actually liked kissing Seungkwan. And also, how much I wanted to do it once again. I was confused over this feeling, he was my best friend, the boy I have known my entire life, and now I had a crush on him?!? HUh? Why? I wondered if maybe, Seungkwan liked me too. Could that be why he was so flustered after the kiss? Or was he just embarrassed because he had his first kiss with his childhood best friend in front of our friend group? Probably the latter option.

Seungkwan’s POV

After the kiss, I couldn’t help but wish for more. I always thought just being friends was enough but after the kiss, I kept yearning for more. Each night after the party I dreamt of how it would feel to be (Y/n)’s boyfriend, to hold her hand, to hug her, to hold her, to kiss her in the rain, as it snows, to kiss her in front of a warm fire. My dreams weren’t helping my situation of trying to stay put in my place as her best friend.

As the weeks went by, I noticed that (Y/n) was acting a bit weird around me. It wasn’t anything big but I noticed it. How she always moved a little closer to me when we sat on the couch watching a movie, how she often looked at me when I wasn’t looking at her, how she smiled even more around me, how she often looked at my hand when we walked beside each other, almost reaching for my hand but right before touching it she moved her hand away.

Over the months, through Christmas and New Year's eve, I built the courage to ask her out on a date. I was building the courage to possibly ruin our friendship. I was terrified, but I needed to know, especially now that she was, probably, sending me hints of her possible feelings.

(Y/n)’s POV

The months after the party and the kiss turned my world upside down. I officially had feelings for Seungkwan. Boo Seungkwan, my childhood best friend. I tried to give subtle hints of my feelings for him to see how he would react, only to remember that guys pretty much never understand girl hints. I felt like he didn’t act any differently towards me after the kiss from before it.

Months had passed, Seungkwan’s birthday had been, and it was now spring, the snow had begun to thaw, the flowers had begun to sprout, and my feelings, just like the flowers were in full bloom. The weekend was approaching and I needed to talk about my feelings, usually I would talk with Seungkwan about these things but I couldn’t talk about my feelings for him with him. So, I invited Wonwoo for a sleepover. I didn’t dare invite Joshua because I knew he would become too excited and accidentally tell Seungkwan about my feelings. Wonwoo came over with a bunch of snacks, ready to help me with my problem.

“Okay, Woo, here’s the thing. After Minghao’s party, you know after the kiss, I developed feelings for Seungkwan. And I don’t know whether I should tell him or try to get over him, what do you think?” Wonwoo adjusted his glasses as he gave me a smile. “I don’t think you need to worry, (Y/n). I’m not sure but from my observations, I would say that both you and Seungkwan have harbored feelings for each other after the kiss or even possibly since before it. So, if you want to take the step and confess your feelings I would encourage it just as I would support you if you don’t want to do that,” Wonwoo ended his little speech with a hug, one I definitely needed.

After the sleepover with Wonwoo, I was certain of my feelings and my stance on the situation. I wouldn’t take the first step, so If Seungkwan didn’t do anything then we would just remain as friends, however, if he did say or do anything to confess, I would accept it.

In the middle of April, it finally happened. “(Y/n), I have to tell you something, and if you don’t want to be friends anymore, that’s fine, 'cause I just have to tell you,” “What is it, Boo?” “I’m in love with you,” “Yeah, I don’t think I want to be friends anymore,” “Oh, really?” “Yeah, 'cause I want to be more. I’m in love with you too,” Seungkwan’s confession to me ended with our second kiss, this one in privacy and it was much longer. This was the start of a beautiful relationship.

~ End of Flashback, (Y/n)’s POV ~

I flipped through a few more pictures, some of them from Christmas after the first kiss, New Year’s Eve, from Seungkwan’s birthday, and finally I stopped at the Polaroid picture that was a bit blurry, taken in the dark of Seungkwan’s room from the day he confessed to me. It was a photo of us sharing a kiss as we smiled. It brought back a lot of memories for me looking at this picture. Seungkwan was my childhood best friend, a person involved in all of my core memories from my childhood. My relationship with him was beautiful and I wish we could have made it work for longer but it wasn’t what destiny had in mind for us.

~ Flashback in Third person POV ~

Some years passed and (Y/n) graduated from high school, now she was preparing to go to college. Joshua, Wonwoo, and Jun all ended up choosing the same college as each other so they hoped they could share a dorm. Seungcheol, Hoshi, and Minghao all chose the same college as well. Only leaving (Y/n), she ended up being the only one from their group choosing this one specific college. Which was scary for her, for the first time she would know no one, meaning it would be hard to make friends.

(Y/n) and Seungkwan tried to deal with the long distance. They truly did their best. Texting and face-timing or calling whenever they could. Seungkwan visited (Y/n) as often as he could, though soon he became too busy to visit her, and (Y/n) became too busy to even call or text him as she adjusted to the heavy workload she had.

One weekend when (Y/n) was visiting her parents and Seungkwan, she was determined to have a difficult discussion with her boyfriend. The young couple went up to (Y/n)’s room as her parents left for dinner with some of their other friends. “Seungkwan, I love you. I really do, but I don’t think I can deal with the long distance anymore. It’s only been a month and I’m feeling so bad because I can’t text you as often, I feel bad because I can’t return your calls as I am too tired to look at my phone after a day of lectures. I feel like my mental health can’t handle a long-distance relationship,” (Y/n) was crying heavily at the end of her explanation.

“(Y/n), it’s okay. I understand how you feel. I love you too, but honestly, I feel the same way. I hate the distance, and this hatred is making me hate the relationship itself, not you but the idea of the relationship. I want you to thrive in college, have fun, and live your life. I don’t want you to feel bad because of me. I want to be happy too, and since you moved away, I haven’t really been happy. Maybe for both of us, it would be better if we broke up. In the future, we might find our way back to each other,”

It hurt them both, but for them, it was the right decision. Neither one wanted to cause the other pain nor did they want themselves to live in pain. If they wanted to be able to save their friendship, breaking up was the only choice. Maybe destiny had someone else in mind for them or would they perhaps fall in love with one another once again later on in life?

~ End of flashback, (Y/n)’s POV ~

As I looked at the last picture Seungkwan and I took as a couple, I felt a single tear fall down my cheek. It was a picture my parents took of us on the day we broke up. In the picture, we were moving out of a hug, with tears in our eyes but smiles on our faces. Seungkwan’s mouth was slightly open from him just whispering I will always love you to me. After that, we separated and I went back to my college dorm.

Seungkwan was still in my life but we weren’t nearly as close as we used to be. We mostly only met the times I came home and the other boys were visiting their parents too and we would meet up to hang out with the full group. I spoke more with Wonwoo, Joshua, Minghao, Hoshi, and Scoups than I did with Seungkwan. Anyone who met me at that time would think that Seungkwan and I had never really known each other but only had common friends.

Maybe Seungkwan and I’s relationship was just a passing breeze, it was gentle and sweet like a crisp autumn breeze that slightly rattles the orange levees making them dance.

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