#as some sort of prize and dessert of sorts

[mercyofempty]

i love having no knowledge about anything that goes on in archie sonic. can you say that again tails but in my better ear.

[cheezeybread]

got a fun little request. picture Yuu doing a taste test for Trey for the next unbirthday party. Only... Floyd hears about it and decides to make it a cooking contest with Yuu as a judge. He wants to impress Yuu and show them he can totally do baked goods just as good as Trey. Azul meanwhile probably sees this as a chance to promote the lounge so dollar signs and promotion for him. up to you who wins the contest.

Hey, hey, let him cook!

-Yuu when Floyd shows up to try and make it a competition

This is all written as platonic, although it'd probably be easy to imagine it as romantic heheh

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"Heeeeey, you don't happen to be craving some extra sweets this week, do ya? :)"

The text from Trey caught you completely off guard, especially since he hadn't texted you in well over two weeks...

Almost as if he could sense your confusion, Trey sent multiple texts in a row after that first one, giving you more information about the upcoming unbirthday party and how he was preparing some new desserts and needed someone to test them out before he served them to Riddle and the other Heartslabyul members. Of course, you accepted.

Who knows how (probably Ace, on second thought) Floyd caught wind of this happening, but as soon as he did? Hoooo boy, it was ON!

Floyd gets into strange moods sometimes, and sometimes those moods go into a sort of overzealous competition (unfortunately for the basketball team, that competitive mood never comes around during plays-). This was one of those times.

He approached you after class, presenting you with a terribly-drawn...poster, of sorts? It was pretty much just a page he had colored to look like an appealing advertisement for a "bake-off" between him and Trey for later that afternoon. It even included little stick figures of Floyd and Jade roasting Trey over a spit like a pig, and you with hearts in your eyes as you held out a blue ribbon to Floyd....Oh, yeah, this was definitely made by the eel.

Despite receiving Floyd's "official invitation", you had to go by Octavinelle to see what all the hubbub was about. Mostro Lounge was decorated to the nines, with crepe paper dangling from the ceiling, various posters of Floyd and Trey posing with their own creations, and more hand-drawn posters of Floyd beating Trey (either literally or otherwise-). Azul was absolutely mad with power (when is he ever not?) and was running around the place barking out orders, obviously too busy to talk to you, so you had to hunt down Jade, who graciously explained the situation.

Floyd was challenging Trey to a competition to see who could make the best desserts, summed up. The winner would receive a glamorous prize that was mysteriously being kept a secret for now. The judge? You!

Since you didn't entirely have a choice in whether to participate or not, you groaned inwardly and allowed Jade to pull you aside as he spoke about needing you to "look the part" for a cooking judge. Bam! He pulled out a very glamorous outfit from nowhere, along with a decorative apron that had your name embroidered on it...which led you to wonder how long Floyd had been planning this all out?

But that's not a question for you to worry your pretty little head about! Onto the contest!

Trey begrudgingly accepted the baking challenge, only really agreeing after hearing whatever this "prize" was. Or, at least, that's what you overheard from the massive crowd of students who gathered into the Mostro Lounge to watch the challenge proceed (of course, they still had to pay tickets to come as well as for their meals and drinks!)

You still weren't even sure of what was going on, only that you were seated in a fancy chair on a pedestal with a small table in front of you.

Heck, all you could do was watch as Trey and Floyd stood at their separate areas, baking with such fervor that you'd think they were fighting for their lives. batter was flying everywhere, the crowd was getting splattered with ingredients, and Azul stood to the side with Jade, practically having Thaumark-signs in his eyes.

In the end, Floyd brought up to you a very beautifully-made parfait, and Trey brought a regal, multi-layered cake. You took a bite of each, still not taking this whole contest very seriously.

"I think....Trey wins," You said with a confident smile "Your cake was very good, and uh...stuff."

"What???" Floyd yelled out, putting his hands on his head in dismay while Trey wiped off his apron with a satisfied grim "Why didn't I win???"

All you could do was shrug and hold back a laugh "I don't like parfaits...plus, that gummy shark you tossed in there with all the strawberry jam around it really threw me off."

As Floyd stormed off and began to break almost everything in the lounge, ranging from students to chairs to appliances, Trey looked up to you with his usual charming look.

"So, my prize?" He asked hopefully.

"Oh, yeah, about that," You rubbed the back of your neck awkwardly "I literally only just learned about this whole contest an hour ago when Floyd gave me the paper, and I'm still in shock that all this was put together and played out in that time....but yeah, no one ever told me what this prize was."

"Aha!" He chuckled "It's a day with you, Prefect!"

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[theblankstar]

Still Wakes the Deep, but chaotic ass headcanons.

•Raffs cannot stand the sight of guts or gore, so when he woke up to having fish guts strung up on his wall, he proceeded to sob for three hours straight.

•Gibbo, as I've said before, loves to go fishing. He has a collection of lures- but also a big book on different types of fish that can be found in the water. He usually catches and releases, but some prized ones sit in his home.

•O'Connor cannot stand the sight of fish. Just in general. It makes him feel queasy for some odd reason. The texture of the scales makes him shiver and recoil in disgust.

•Archie hates going fishing. Now, contrary to the belief that he likes the quiet, he has zero patience to sit around and wait for the fish to get on the lure, leading to him just jumping into the water and grabbing it with his bare hands.

•Rennick sometimes buys fish in bulk, so that the crew has to eat it. If fish is not being served for at least two weeks in a row, he will actually get really upset.

•Trots, knowing how much some of the crew hates fish scales, will purposefully hide them in the crew's clothes in order to get a good laugh about it. However, this does end up biting him in the ass. He woke up to having fish scales all over his floor.

•Addair loves the smell of fish. He loves it so much, that he even asked Roy for the oil that came from the fish, after he harvested them. He proceeded to pour it in the water tanks, and everyone smelled like fish for two weeks straight.

•Muir hates fish. He loathes the fishes. He will never get over the fact one of them smacked the absolute life out of him as a child. I mean never. He will always hate fish.

•Innes, however, loves to go fishing. He's tried to convince Muir that all of them were not bad, and then the man got smacked by one. Innes never brought up fish around him again.

•Dobbie likes to hide stupid, fat fish plushes around the rig. Just randomly, someone will find a fish plush in their bed, or even in a cargo crate. Dobbie has yet to get caught doing this mischievous act.

•Banky is indifferent to fish. He neither likes nor hates them. He will eat them if presented, and will recoil at the sight of the internals. He has no opinion on fish.

•Roper went fish spearing often. He had a spear he made himself, and would often use it to catch fish he finds on a day out to a river/lake. You can always tell when he plans on going out, or not going out.

•Roy loves fish. He is a chef after all, and cutting them makes him more than happy. He knows that when fish come in, he can make all sorts of dishes for the crew. Sometimes even able to mask the taste/scent of fish in some dishes.

•Gibbo has poured cold water on Dobbie to wake him up, and stop him from snoring. The next day, Gibbo got a piece of ham and a piece of cheese thrown at him by Dobbie; igniting a food fight in the canteen.

•Trots told Archie to stop whining over getting oil on him from repairing the helicopter, and then proceeded to complain when he got soap and water on him from the washing machine.

•Raffs smuggled a whole box of kittens onto the rig one time. He found twelve deceased seagulls on his bed the next day, and promptly returned the kittens back to land.

•Trots hates pickles so much, to the point he snuck the ones he was given into the other's food (Gibbo + O'Connor). Needless to say, when they found out, he was forced to look them dead in the eyes and slowly eat the pickles.

•Roy wanted to serve strawberry shortcake for a dessert to the crew, but when he walked into the kitchen that night, he found Boyd hunched over eating piece after piece. He never saw her the same.

•Trots absolutely hates laundry duty, but he loves doing the dishes. Though, if a piece of soggy food touches any part of his body, he will screech like a girl and drop the item. He's broken many plates and bowls because of this.

•Finlay can't stand the smell of musk. There was a time where the rig had to use ocean water for showers, and she chose to just bathe in oil at that point. Needless to say, she smells like oil constantly now.

•Trots hates the color yellow. He hates it with a burning passion. When his uniform at first, was yellow, he dyed it with the other blue clothes to make it blue. Everyone's clothes ended up coming out a green.

•Archie had a pet parrot as a child. He brought said parrot onto the rig, and when he let it outside, it flew off, never to be seen again.

•Trots ate a piece of coal as a child. It wasn't a small piece, no, it was a medium-sized chunk. He had to get surgery to remove it, so on his abdomen is a large scar from it.

•Muir can't smell the stench of fish. He absolutely hates fish with a burning passion. Why? He went fishing one time, and a fish slapped him across the face.

•Trots loves the texture of fish scales. He's even jokingly tossed them at another member of the crew, who proceeded to scream at the top of their lungs.

•Muir once broke a window with a baseball as a child. He ended up blaming it on the wind, and the proceeded to break another window with a baseball.

•Trots used to keep a pocket knife with him at all times, but he once accidentally slashed the bedpost to his bunkbed, causing it to collapse.

•Addair loves horror. He's never admitted it to anybody, but he loved any type of horror that came out. However, sit him in front of The Ring and he will scream.

•Trots can't stand people that talk too much, he finds it rather annoying. However, when he himself starts yapping, he does not stop... For this, he got a cow's eye hidden in his stew one time, and never shut people up again.

•Innes once tried to dye his hair green with grass as a kid, and it ended up coming out a strange purple color. So for two months straight, he walked around with purple hair he hid under a hat.

•O'Connor absolutely loves the color pink. So much to so, he attempted to dye his uniform pink by mixing red and white clothes together, but he was unaware the detergent he was using made things orange, hence his orange jumpsuit now.

•Gibbo went fishing a lot. He had an entire collection of different types of hooks and baits. However, this collection was stolen and he was upset about it to the point he cried.

•Trots has a plush bear he has to sleep with every night. It brings him a comfort and a happiness when he holds it- akin to that of holding a person. However, the others teased him relentlessly for it, so he just took it back home.

•O'Connor has a collection of trading cards. He sometimes plays with the other members on the rig- and if they don't know the game? He might bend the rules every now and then, depending on if he's winning or losing.

•Rennick would never admit it to anyone, but he can't stand sour foods. Despite him being a sour person to just about everybody, he will never admit he prefers something like chocolate over lemon heads.

•Roper absolutely loves to go fishing- it's one of his favorite things. At times, he was allowed to take a select few people to the lower parts of the rig, and teach them how to fish. Sometimes they'd keep them, sometimes they didn't.

•Caz hums a lot of songs from his childhood, and whenever someone asks him what he's humming, he always replies with "your mom". Needless to say, he's made a lot of people mad.

•Finlay knows how to both wrestle and box. She's been able to knock out somebody in a single swing. While she does sometimes flex her muscles, she usually just shows people how to fight just in case.

•Addair has let his children/grandchildren dress him up in princess/fairy costumes and let them put make up on him, as well as nail polish. Somebody found pictures in his room from these moments, and teased him relentlessly.

•Douglas genuinely likes fish. If it's being served that day, he will ask EVERYONE in the canteen if he can have their piece of fish. Most people do give it to him, as it's funny to see him gobble down about ten pieces of fish in under five minutes.

•Dobbie is the crew's gossiper. If there is a rumor in the rig, he will find someway to make it spread like wildfire. Even if he has to twist some of the truth. He's a messy bitch who lives for drama.

•Gregor knows how to hijack a car, helicopter, and ship. He's an expert in mechanics, so it's only natural... One time, he fucked with the controls of the rig for shits and giggles, and when people panicked, he literally cracked his knuckles and fixed it.

•Davros has accidentally ordered double stock of what was needed, so he ended up hiding most of the materials in the pontoons. Rennick was not happy, nor anybody who had pontoon duty.

•Muir always will hate fish. He loathes fishes. If he sees a fish, it's quite literally on sight. The other crew have watched him genuinely tweak out from having fish for lunch/dinner.

•Innes knows how to twist his foot 180°, and also can pop his arm bone out of his shoulder bone. This has led to him ending up in the infirmary because people literally thought he had broken a bone.

•Banky is the smuggler for the crew. He's managed to get candy, cigarettes, and a few other things. He has yet to get caught by Cadal or Rennick, leaving him a very reliable person if you want to get something from the mainland.

•Sunli wanted to be a musician before coming onto the rig. However, he had a career change when he fell into a thing of oil stored in the warehouse. He tells people it was his "awakening".

•McLurg finds the smell of fish to be rather soothing. Every time he's had a hard day, he stands at the railing of the rig and takes in the environment. The smell of fish calms him down.

•Bruce played with dolls as a child. He loved designing clothes for them- and even wanted to be a fashion designer. Now, for the crew that have children who also like dolls, he makes clothes for them.

•Brodie tried to cut his own hair in middle school, and ended up having one side of his head shaved, while the other side was a choppy mess with kitchen scissors. He had to get his head completely shaved because of this.

•Boyd has never popped his bones/cracked the tension out. So the first time he did it, it made so many popping noises that the crew around him thought he had cracked something, and had to undergo a serious examination.

•Alex has smacked the shit out of Trots with a fish. He literally took the fish he was holding, turned to Trots, and threw a fish at him, causing the man to have a red mark in the shape of a fish the rest of the day.

•Raffs loves knitting, crochet, and sewing. He's made beanies for everyone on the rig- even people you would never see him interacting with. He always makes some sort of hand-made clothing for their birthdays, as a gift.

•Scooby genuinely can't stand sweets. He says the taste is too overbearing, but he loves sour/bitter things. He eats dark chocolate and sour candy like he had lost a bet. He absolutely loves bitter/sour things.

•Archie originally wanted to be a doctor, but due to him having to move constantly, he never got the proper materials. When he finally settled down, a friend of his got him a position on the rig as a helicopter flyer.

•Kelly has put fish/fish meat (or scales) in people's pillows as a prank. He almost got fired one time for replacing Rennick's chair foam with fish organs.

•McLoud isn't actually loud, contrary to his name. He's pretty quiet and keeps to himself most of the time. However, when he does talk, his voice is pretty raised.

•Dunbar consumed a piece of memory foam as a child. He then spat it back up, claiming that it did not taste like a piece of soft milk-chocolate.

Might make more later lmao

[2d-reality]

Little Things (The Greedy Secondborn)

characters: Mammon, GN!MC navigation: Lucifer | Mammon | Levi | Satan | Asmo | Beel | Belphie content/warnings: little things you do for the brothers, out of love. fluff. established relationship (implied you are dating all seven brothers equally with the exception of mammon whom i love more) word count: 584 notes: Each brother has their own part, linked above. I am still my own editor and I loathe editing, so please forgive any mistakes!

But even you can only stand so much of his klepto tendencies. He’s good about your most precious things, for the most part. Once, when you were still new to the Devildom, the heirloom necklace you had been unceremoniously transported with went missing. It was the only piece of home you had left, aside from your clothes, and you weren’t proud of the breakdown you’d had when you’d discovered its absence. You were so caught in your grief, and anger at every one of your newly-minted demonic housemates, that you didn’t notice the absence of your guardian for nearly two full days. 

It’s no secret you baby Mammon. Even, and especially, when his brothers make his life a little more difficult with their sibling antics. The prickly behavior certainly lessened with you around, as any off-color comments are immediately met with a harsh glare and sometimes a short word of admonishment. 

It was Asmo who returned your presently most prized possession; you’d been so relieved to have it back that you’d kissed both his cheeks through tears, uncaring of how it had returned to you and unaware of Mammon’s soulful eyes peering from around the doorframe of your bedroom. You had noticed he seemed out of sorts over the coming days, but chalked it up to his avoidant tsundere behavior. If you’d known back then he’d swiped it, in a moment of unawareness, gripped by his sin as he so often was, you might never have forgiven him. 

Your relationship had evolved since then, and you wouldn’t dream of being cross with him now, especially if you learned that he’d hunted for your necklace, shook up every fence he had connections to, levied a hefty charge on goldie with the curiosities dealer that ended up with it, and weathered the lecture from Lucifer as a result without a word, all to see it returned to you. 

He’d been much more careful with the things you held most dear since then. He’s more observant than anyone would give him credit for, especially regarding you, his shining jewel. But you knew that he was as much a victim to his sin as his brothers, and you had learned to cater to it, even if you didn’t know about his crusade for your necklace. 

Lucifer (at least partially at the behest of Diavolo, you presumed) had established an allowance for you. You, ever independent, picked up shifts at the local spots when you could to earn your own money, but you wouldn’t lie, having a little extra to keep up with the elite (which you could forget the brothers were, at times) was nice. It was also nice to have a couple extra grimm to stuff in a pocket, or a drawer, for Mammon to take when his fingers got a little sticky. He ended up spending at least some of it on you, anyways; a popup cafe, a second dessert at lunch, a trinket that reminded him of you. He would vehemently deny being so sentimental, but the twinkle in his eye when you graciously accepted whatever treat he gifted you and returned the favor with a kiss twice as sweet was enough evidence for you. 

If he knew you were purposefully leaving it in the same places every week, and never commented on the hit to your budget, he never mentioned it. You never said anything either, happy to make his life as easy as you could. It was no secret, after all, that you baby Mammon.

[liillyliilly]

Marshmallow Madness

bokuto koutarou x reader words; 1482 synopsis; Marshmallows are one way to lift Bokuto Koutarou’s mood. The other being Y/n, but what happens when the two get mixed?

Fukurodani celebrates almost all of their special occasions with a campfire and s’mores.

Y/n has always been fond of the little tradition, since it was a way to connect with the team members of the volleyball club outside of school and volleyball matches.

Seeing as it was Bokuto’s birthday, everyone decided to get together and spend the night in his backyard roasting marshmallows and sharing their favorite stories of Bokuto. Y/n sat in her camp chair, soaking in the warm fire and the presence of her closest friends.

Laughter was floating around in the air like a perfume made of happiness. Y/n sipped on her hot chocolate and let the dense milk chocolate coat her throat in a soothing manner. Closing her eyes for a moment before opening them, slightly surprised to see Bokuto standing in front of her. When she jumped slightly, Bokuto chuckled before using his left thumb to wipe away the small whipped cream mustache that Y/n had grown after drinking some of her liquid confidence.

“You had a little something on your face.” Bokuto explained before falling down into the chair next to Y/n, which only made her heart race further. The way her heart hit her own chest was like some kind of self-punishment for having a crush on Bokuto Koutarou. But before she could even wish him a happy birthday, Bokuto hopped out of the seat and ran off to go talk with some of the other Fukurodani volleyball team members.

How could a teenage boy be so suave? But especially a teenage boy who was known for going into an 'emo' mood when things didn't go his way. She begged for the universe to make more sense. She begged her heart to see the logical fallacy, that Bokotu's behavior wasn't smooth but rather rather clumsy and geeky. Who was she fooling?

As a sort of teasing exchange, Bokuto had his hair pulled into two pigtails on either side of his head, and Akaashi had a pair of marker eyebrows drawn on to make him look angry. So, everyone couldn’t help but giggle when Akaashi turned around to ask a question.

“Anyone want the last s’more?” Akaashi waved the treat around on a plate as if he was offering up a sacrifice to the heavens. Y/n raised her hand lightly, before shrugging and giving an offhanded statement of how she hadn’t had one yet.

Munching on the dry graham cracker, silky chocolate, and spongy marshmallow, Y/n realized that this was the best s’more she had ever had. Licking her lips and smiling, she stood up and walked over to the campfire to compliment Akaashi on his expert s’more making skills when Bokuto started rambling.

“AKAASHI!!! Did you save that s’more for me like I asked? I’m ready for it now.” Bokuto giddily moved from side to side as he awaited a prize that would never come along. Y/n felt all the color out of her face drain. And suddenly the s’more in her mouth turned to solid rock as she tried to figure out what to do next. Swallowing what remained of the dessert, Y/n pressed her lips into a straight line and tried not to slink away from this confrontation.

“Um, Bokuto, about your s’more. Akaashi gave it to me.” Y/n clasped her hands behind her back. Bokuto slumped his shoulders, before perking back up again. The way the fire’s orange light glowed on him made him look like he was painted with streaks of pure sunlight.

If her eyes were shining with hearts, she's grateful that no one made a comment on it.

“Hey, it's okay, you can just help me find where I put the extra bag of marshmallows inside my house.” Without a second thought Bokuto dragged Y/n into his house. While Bokuto scrambled around opening and then slamming cupboard doors closed, Y/n decided to meander over to a wall that was covered in pictures.

In one of them was a younger Bokuto, with a large gap where his two front teeth should have been, he was sticking his tongue over the empty space. She giggled while tracing his little button nose from the glass covered image. Another image was an older Bokuto, his elbows were bloody but he was still smiling, a discarded bicycle sat in the background of the picture. The next image made Y/n pause, it was one of her and Bokuto. They were barely first years and she was wearing her hair in that god-awful style that she still cringes over.

Bokuto had wanted to put his arm around her in the picture so she obliged and also set her arm on his shoulders. They were acne ridden and unaware of the future, staying stuck in the present rather than worrying over college entrance exams or even having a breakdown over volleyball. The picture wasn’t that weird, but the thing that made it different was the little heart drawn between their heads.

Y/n knew that Bokuto had drawn it because of the little tail on the heart that dipped down slightly further than necessary. In his crooked handwriting, at the bottom of the image were the words: Love you to the moon and back Y/n! It was a cheesy statement, but she wondered if the words still held the same meaning as they did when he was a first year. Had his feelings changed? Or was she destined to remain a mere friend to Bokuto?

“Y/n! Come here please!” Bokuto urged. Y/n brushed her hand over the wooden picture frame before going into the kitchen. Bokuto was standing with his hands on his hips, and a forlorn expression plastered onto his face.

“No marshmallows then?” Y/n asked, mimicking Bokuto’s stance. She let out a long sigh before speaking up, “I really am very sorry about eating your s’more Bo. I should've waited, it's your birthday after all.”

Bokuto tugged on the cuffs of his long sleeve shirt before taking a step forward. “It’s okay, I don’t really mind. But there is something that I’ve been wanting for my birthday for years, and I think you can give that to me instead.”

“It better not be too expensive. I spent a lot of money on ramen last week when you and I hung out.” Y/n pouted, before poking Bokuto in the arm as a tease. In reality, she knew that she would be willing to drop any amount of money for Bokuto. Always trying to pay him back for one thing or another, and for most of her life she was just trying to pay him back for all the love she received from him.

When Bokuto kept walking forward, Y/n backed up slightly, only to bump into the kitchen island. Bokuto set his hands on either side of her body, gripping the granite counter loosely. He refused to look her in the eyes, instead staring at the space beside her head.

“I’ve wanted this for years, but I only want it if you want it too. Because otherwise it would just be really creepy.” He chuckled, a sad laugh that hit lowly on her heart. Y/n used her hand to move his head so that he would meet her eyes with his ones of melted gold.

The house was deadly quiet, a stark contrast from all the laughter and meaningless chatter from the backyard. Glancing down to her lips, Bokuto flushed before rushing to meet her eyes again. Y/n licked her lips, applying a glossy sheen to them.

“Just so I make this clear for you, once we kiss, we aren’t just friends anymore.” Y/n whispered.

“I know. We’re going to be boyfriend and girlfriend.” Bokuto was drained of any melancholy that had ever been present.

“If that’s what you want.” Y/n cupped his face with her hand and Bokuto leaned into her soft touch.

As Bokuto pressed his lips to hers, she felt entirely weightless. She wanted to keep the feeling of his lips on hers to be embalmed through a snarling sweetness. Bokuto only broke away from the kiss because he was smiling too much. He laughed and suddenly Y/n started to laugh with him, Bokuto ran a hand through his hair, only to be greeted with the pigtails from earlier. Y/n tugged the hair ties out gently, letting Bokuto run his hands through his hair to adjust his hair as he saw fit.

“Your lips taste like marshmallows.” Bokuto licks his lips before giving a pleased hum. He rests his hands on her hips, "There's another thing I want for my birthday."

"Hm?"

"But I think it'll have to wait until your 18th birthday."

"HM???"

He just brought her into another kiss, deeper and with more promise in it.

[lullabyes22-blog]

You've answered alcohol tolerance levels for the Arcane characters. What about dancing? Who has the best moves?

By order of least likely to dance well to most likely:

Viktor - Sadly, as a casualty of his health condition more than his need to use a cane, he sits out every dance. But he's got a secret appreciation for rhythm; will tap his feet and clap along with the beat, while looking wistfully out into the dance floor. Sometimes, you'll catch him humming a catchy tune from the party the next day... ("Poppin bottles in the ice, like a blizzard / When we drink we do it right, gettin' slizard... hmm, Jayce, what does 'slizard' mean?")

Signature move: Agrees to thump the table while you do the Bart Simpson.

Caitlyn - She was classically trained in ballroom dancing by family tutors. Cassandra expected her daughter to carry herself well at social gatherings. Unfortunately, she hadn't anticipated that her daughter would have two left feet and the rhythmic competence of a sunstruck sump-vole. Girl cannot dance to save her life. The natural grace she displays in the shooting range is displaced by backtracking stumbles and profuse apologies each time she steps on someone's foot. Which is... often. ("I'll, erm, fetch some drinks, shall I?" - proceeds to disappear and never return to the dance floor again. )

Signature move: Accidentally slapping someone in the face during a minuet.

Jayce - He's so goshdarn awkward. Like Caitlyn, he's received tutelage in classical dancing; his father was fleet on his feet, and Ximenia hoped her boy would literally follow in his footsteps. Unfortunately, Jayce has inherited his mother's adorkably awful sense of rhythm. Unlike Caitlyn, he's good at keeping up and following the steps. But he doesn't enjoy it at all - and it shows. Will waltz you around like a teenager forced to be sociable at the prom, and look for the narrowest excuse to dip. ("Oh, is that Councilor Bolbo? Let me go say hello." Jayce, that's not Councilor Bolbo. That's a coat rack...)

Signature move: The self-conscious shuffleshuffle until he's safely barricaded behind the dessert table.

Vi - Her best footwork is in the boxing ring, not the dance floor. She can move credibly enough, and even throws in a few funky moves. Will do the Dougie, first goofily, then in perfect sync. But on the whole, her dancing looks a bit like pre-game warm-ups. Bonus: those hips get to work when the beat is right. It's almost like a precursor to when she's powering up to throw a punch. Oof, she did throw a punch. ("What? The creep grabbed your ass!" Sssh. It's ok, Vi. Let's sit this one out and treat ourselves to some nachos...)

Signature move: Shadowboxing in time with the beat. It's mad fun to watch.

Vander - He isn't particularly fond of dancing, but any boxer knows it has its uses for building endurance and balance. Will get downright over-the-top with the Dad moves to crack the kids up, but for such a large man, he's surprisingly light on his feet. Bonus: if you're into it, he will absolutely pick you up and twirl you like a baton. ("Mind your head doesn't hit the ceiling fan, luv. Blood's a bitch to scrub out." What? He's kidding!)

Signature move: The Sprinkler. The kiddies love that one. Also the Anti-Gravity Lean. For shits and giggles, he'll sometimes pretend he's about to fall on you. Timbeeeeeeer!

Sevika: On the whole, she'd rather be playing cards at a party. But if she's in the mood to get the sweat flowing, she will decamp to the dancefloor. She moves with the sort of strutting grace of a prized thoroughbred at a parade. She also goes for solo dance styles rather than partner dancing. Feel free to admire her from afar - but you'll need a few shots of tequila and a shitload of courage to approach her while she's in her zone. ("Either you've got two lazy eyes, sweetheart, or you really like my tits..." What-? No! Well, yes. But it was her footwork you were admiring! Her footwooooork!)

Signature move: A smooth scoop arm + languid hip sway when she's feeling the beat.

Silco - Do ya like Jazz? 'Cause this man has moves. That whippish physique translates into immaculately sharp footwork on the dance floor. Will do the Charleston like a champ and put those skanky little hips to work during a shimmy. He's also got a sly way of leading, even when he isn't, so more often than not, you'll be following his moves rather than the other way around. If you can keep up, you'll get a wry smile paired with a rarer compliment. If you can't, he will purr the meanest insults in your ear. ("Do try to put in the work. The Swing's not a spectator's sport." Try not to burst into tears. The last thing he needs is snot on his cravat.)

Signature move: On request, you will get the sluttiest Slut Drop. And he will hold eye contact. The. Entire. Time.

Mel - Naturally fluid and elegant. She glides like a swan in a boardroom; she unfurls like a blossom on the dance floor. Even Ambessa - grudgingly - acknowledges that her daughter knows how to make an impression through all forms of her art. She's skilled in most formalized forms of ballroom dance, but what gets her little golden motor revving is actually the more earthy styles of dance. It gives her a chance to let those closely-reined emotions come loose. ("'Slum it up' with you at an Undercity saloon? Now there's a notion... Perhaps later I might take you up on the offer." Shit - she said yes. Now what?)

Signature move: Piltover's equivalent of the Viennese Waltz. A highly advanced dance that she breezes through like schoolyard hopscotch.

Jinx - Some people should not be allowed to dance. Jinx is one of them. As with everything else, she takes things to a frightening extreme. She's already a walking acrophobia trigger. Also just a living breathing trigger. When she dances, it shows. She can transition with unnerving rapidity from cute flighty bouncing to a very provocative sinuosity to something out of a Junji Ito horror manga: all feral eyes and zero bones uncoiling to squeeze the life out of you. ("I call this move the lit fuse...or is it the boomstick?" Whatever she calls it, you've already gotten blown to smithereens. R.i.p.)

Signature move: Murder on the dancefloor. Actual, literal, screaming murder.

[strawberriesinbloom]

Cake Heist

MC/Mammon

Summary: Mammon tries to steal a cake.

Word Count: 1682

This is a tickle fic btw

~🍓~

Mammon tiptoed across the House of Lamentation, careful to avoid any creaky floorboards and the like. He didn't want to wake any of his brothers from their slumber. He made a beeline toward the kitchen, where he knew his prize was being kept: a bloodberry cake.

Leviathan had brought it home this morning, blubbering about how it was an exact replica of some sort of dessert featured in this manga he liked and that he wanted to eat it with you tomorrow during some sort of anniversary of its release. Honestly, it went through one ear and out the other, but Mammon did remember how Leviathan specifically called him and Beelzebub out. He made both of them promise not to eat the cake or else he'd unleash Lotan on them.

While Mammon would normally be more than happy to honor his baby brother's request, that cake looked really good, so…yeah. One itty, bitty taste wouldn't hurt, right? Leviathan would barely notice one missing slice, right? Right?

Mammon was going to eat that cake no matter what. 

He poked his head through the doorframe of the kitchen, and his blood ran cold when he saw you placing a bowl into the microwave. You pressed a few buttons until a low whirring sound filled the quiet.

Mammon wasn't sure how you noticed his presence, but, before he knew it, you were staying directly at him. You grinned, and his heart raced. 

He was about to make a hasty (but dignified) retreat when you said, "Hey, there, Mammon. Up for a midnight snack?" Your voice sounded hoarse and a little deeper than usual. You must have just woken up, unlike Mammon, who had been biding his time in his room until the perfect time to enact his heist. 

Although you had caught him red-handed, it wasn't like you knew he was going to steal Leviathan's cake. All Mammon needed to do was grab a plate, take a slice of cake from the fridge, and make a mad dash back toward his room. He could still win this. Ignoring his trembling hands (for some inexplicable reason, they always did that when he was near you), he waltzed into the kitchen.

"Yeah, I woke up and came here lookin' for a bite to eat," Mammon responded as nonchalantly as he could. He stood in front of a cupboard filled with dishes that was right next to where you were.

You pulled out your D.D.D. "Same here," you said, leaning against the counter, "I got this random craving for soup in the middle of the night." You jerked your head toward the microwave before starting to mindlessly scroll through Fab Snap. 

The conversation was over, but he couldn't help but look at you for a second longer in hopes that you'd continue talking. When it was clear just how engrossed you were in your device, he shook his head before turning toward his main objective.

Mammon reached up to open the cupboard only to screech when something poked his side. He flinched, shooting his hand down to cover where you had certainly touched him. 

He spun his head toward you, intent on giving you a piece of his mind. He faltered when he saw you still glued to your D.D.D. "What…what was that?" Mammon swallowed thickly. 

You absentmindedly shrugged. The microwave beeped, but you turned it off without looking up for a moment. Whatever video you were watching must have been pretty intriguing to keep you like this.

But…if you hadn't poked him, who did? Mammon searched warily around the kitchen. Nothing seemed to be amiss, at least, nothing at first glance.

Hesitantly, Mammon returned his attention to the cupboard. He opened it up, revealing the plates…that were all on the top shelf. He growled and stood on his tiptoes. His shirt slipped out of his belt, which he wouldn't have noticed if something hadn't spidered along his bare stomach.

It happened too quickly for Mammon to suppress the embarrassingly high-pitched giggle that tumbled out of him. He jumped back, slightly curling up to hide his torso from anything trying to touch him. 

Once again, you were glued to your screen, but you weren't completely tuned out to the world. "Nice squeal," you said.

"Somethin' keeps touchin' me!" Mammon shouted. His cheeks were beginning to burn. 

You typed something into your D.D.D. "Really…? Well…that…" You scrunched up your nose for a moment. "...is interesting."

Gah, you were too invested in whatever you were doing to care about him: the Great Mammon. Admittedly, this did sting a little.

Okay, it stung a lot, but, at least he would have his cake. Mammon stepped back up to the cupboard, casting a couple more skeptical glimpses your way. You didn't look up from your D.D.D. at all, and Mammon let out a quiet sigh. He was being way too paranoid. 

He raised his hand and shot it back down when your arm moved out of the corner of his eye. He pressed his limbs against his torso, but you were just scratching your cheek. You put your hand back down, and he relaxed, sending you a sheepish smile that you didn't even get to see. 

Outstretching his hand to reach the plates, Mammon managed to rest his hand on the edge of the top shelf. There was a single plate within reach, and he was so close to touching it. He was only able to poke the porcelain dish until something started touching his armpit.

He screamed and clamped his arm down, but it was too late. Mammon shook uselessly for a second to try to stop himself from laughing. He pressed his lips together but was too ticklish for that to last any more than three seconds. 

"Stahahahap!" Mammon suddenly shrieked. His entire body grew unbearably hot. He had no idea he could make that sort of sound. Though, out of everyone who could have heard him, Mammon was glad that it was you. 

The sensations were soon getting to be too much for him to handle. Mammon grabbed the hand that was so intent on tickling his underarm and pried it off of him. He took in a few sharp and heavy breaths before squeezing the wrist of his assailant. 

You pull your hand out of his grasp. "Wow, breathless already? I had no idea you were that ticklish."

Mammon pouted, the tips of his ears heating up. He crossed his arms and chose to stare at the counter. "Ya were doin' that on purpose!" He couldn't believe you were only pretending to be distracted by your D.D.D.

"Duh."

You slipped your D.D.D. back into your pocket, a smug smirk plastered on your face. Wiggling your fingers, you stepped closer to him. That dangerous grin only grew as you came closer and closer.

Against his will, a small smile of his own broke through his expression, except it was more giddy. Mammon bounced around from foot to foot until you were face-to-face with him. An adrenaline rush coursed through him, but instead of following his fight-or-flight instincts, he stilled. Mammon had ample time to sprint out of there, but he decided to stay rooted in place.

You took note of this with a cocky eyebrow raise. "Don't look too excited, now," you teased before pouncing on him.

Your fingers dug into the soft flesh of his stomach. Mammon doubled over and staggered back, but made no effort to get away. "Hehehey!" He wiggled in place as your arms wrapped around him. 

"You know, it's not exactly a punishment if you're enjoying it." You prodded at the area just below his ribs. It made Mammon jump and squeak. 

He shook his head, desperately trying to ignore how strange you were making him feel. "Whahahat punihishment?" he managed to scream out before falling back into a cascade of laughter.

You shook your head. "For trying to eat Levi's cake. He was saving that."

"H–how did ya knohow–? Mammon interrupted himself with a loud snort when you suddenly squeezed the soft part above his hips. "Ehehehe! Ehehe!" It was humiliating how squeaky his giggles were.

"You're not in your pajamas, so it's pretty obvious you didn't wake up for a midnight snack.” You drilled your fingers into Mammon’s sides, which made him thrash about in your arms. “You were looking for something in particular, and what could it be if not Levi's cake?"

Dammit! 

The pads of your fingers scribbled rapidly along his waist, concentrating on his most sensitive spots. "D'AHAHAHA–" It tickled so badly that Mammon couldn't get a word in.

Mammon broke out of your grip and stumbled away from you. His chest heaved as he blinked away the tiny warm tears that pricked the corners of his eyes. The ghost of your wandering fingers still remained, sending tingles all across his stomach. He let out a few residual chuckles.

You placed your hands on your hips. "Are you still going to try to take his cake?"

He puckered his lips, trying to weigh the pros and cons. If Mammon did attempt to steal the cake again, then you'd just resume tickling him. But, if he gave up now, then that meant he wouldn't get a chance to even taste that cake. What a tricky situation... 

"Mammonnnn?" 

Nevermind! The choice was actually really obvious!

He kicked the ground. "Okay, okay, fine! I won't try to steal Levi's crummy cake again. 

The way your face brightened up made Mammon's head spin. "Good! Now, go to bed." You went back to the microwave and pressed a couple more buttons to reheat your soup. He wasn't sure why, but Mammon lingered in the kitchen. You rolled your eyes playfully. "Unless you want me to tickle you again?"

Mammon perked up but played it off as a flinch. He shook his head rapidly. "I-I'm fine!" he squeaked as darted out of the kitchen, leaving your laughing figure behind. Mammon tried not to think about the excitement that had bubbled in his chest.

[skyliv]

pokémon au drabble….. i’ve been having some thoughts

around 1900 words!

An Eelektross sinks its head back into the murky water of the Kalosian sewer. It wasn’t the best place to swim, but it was somewhere, and its slick green skin blended in perfectly with the algae.

It saw its target, and it had to go back and report.

Lucielle Lakes was staring dead straight at her partner Dewott. It stands between her legs, looking right up at her as she sits on the Lumiose street bench. The tree above them casts the already teal otter into a more greenish shade, and it blinks a few times, all before a smile spreads on its snout.

Lucy had blinked first, she lost the game. She a back with her own smile, beginning to laugh. “I’m sorry, buddy!” She chuckled, before helping it hop up to her side.

Dewott grabs onto the shoulder of her sweater vest, its little claws digging into the soft, flower patterned yarn. She had turned her head to rummage through her messenger bag, before pulling out what looked like a small lunch box.

She opened it, and there was Dewott’s prize! Next to a slew of berries were a few Poké Puffs, two matcha and one mocha. The chocolate one was decorated with cream and sprinkles, and Dewott almost immediately grabbed at it.

“Woah! Hey- Slow down!” Lucielle scolds, putting her hand in front of his paws. Her partner scowls, before flexing its claws as she slowly and purposely takes the puff out slowly.

The moment she placed it in his outstretched paws, the dessert was gone in seconds. She smiled, why wouldn’t she? Living in Lumiose city had its cons, but the atmosphere was far from one of those. People of all sorts were walking by, some of their Pokémon tagging along. Colorful buildings towered over the streets, bustling shops lining the floors. The sky was clear, the breeze was cool, everything was perfect.

But there was so, so much more going on. Team Flare failed their mission, Lysandre went missing, they never even properly established themselves. All due to another company rising, Alchemax. They tried to keep their name in good faith, no ideals for wiping out the world, nor irreversible climate change. Just looking into harnessing the natural powers of Pokémon, for the “betterment of humanity,” and… Something else. Something only the Kingpin and a few higher admins knew the full extent of.

An older woman stands less than a block away, her back against a tree that stands as a gateway to one of many labyrinthine alleyways. She stands out among most people, big curly brown hair tied up into a bun, a paisley patterned scarf over a two toned dress, all tied together with a crisp white lab coat. It billows behind her, its vent cut and decorated with a green satin lining. She steps forward, slithering between pedestrians in silence.

Lucielle had perked up, and turned her head when she saw the woman approach. She gave a smile, just thinking the scientist would walk past, even when Dewott flattened its ears in frustration. But she seems a bit worried when the other slows.

“Do I know you?” The older woman says mid-stride, one of her gloved hands tracing the top of the bench.

Lucy just blinked a few times and turned where she sat, as if it took her a second to process an answer. “Me? I’m not sure how anyone could recognize me,” She stammers. “I mean, I was in one of those videos with Sycamore,”

The scientist practically glares down at Lucy, one of her brows rising as her lips curl. “That’s it! Thaaat’s it,” She says, drumming her fingers on the bench before looking down to Dewott instead. The otter’s snout had shifted into a snarl, and Lucielle follows Olivia’s gaze to it. “Lucy, right?”

“Oh! Don’t mind him,” She says quickly, wrapping her arms around him as if he were just a large plush toy. “But yes, yes that’s me! Wait, you were at the lab too, right?”

“Doctor Olivia Octavius, and yes,” She answers, extending a hand to shake. Lucy takes it quickly, a sweet smile on her face.

“A doctor? It’s such a pleasure to meet you! I really wanted to say something to you last weekend, you spoke to the professor, right? Did he give me a good name?”

Olivia has to hold back a small chuckle, and her steely gaze softens as they shake hands. “Come on, the pleasure is all mine. You should’ve heard his praise. For a researcher like myself, it’s always wonderful to see an up and coming graduate.”

Olivia lets go first, and while Lucy seems reluctant, she does as well. Her eyes are locked on the other woman, her sharp features, those striking eyes framed by a large pair of glasses. She has to snap herself out of it once Olivia speaks again.

“Have you been enjoying your research? And how have you been getting by?”

Clearly, the question shocked Lucy, coming from a near stranger.. But Olivia was close to Sycamore, it wasn’t too out of the blue. “Oh! Well, I’ve got a position at a boutique on my street, and, genuinely,” She leans back a bit, “And my research? Wow, just, I could never be happier in a position. There’s something so reassuring seeing just how connected these little guys are to nature, like us connecting to them can bring us closer to, well, everything.”

The doctor nods a few times, before rounding the bench. Her gaze was soft, she’d never seen someone else with such a bright view of the world, and as Lucy pats the Dewott, she can’t help but smile. Lucielle’s partner Pokémon does not seem to appreciate the movement, as the claws of one paw tap the pale pink scallop at his hip. She frowns faintly, and pulls the little guy over her lap and to the other side.

Olivia nods down to the bench, a silent gesture of “May I?” And just as anyone would expect, Lucielle nods quickly and moves her bag. The doctor hums when she flattens her dress to sit, and she smiles at Lucy when she fixes the back of her lab coat.

She opens her mouth to speak, before her eyes widen a little, and she looks away to Prism Tower. If she wanted to do her job, to be “evil”, now was the time. As it grew, Alchemax would need more associates, and as the head scientist, Olivia felt that it was her responsibility. Yet this was the first time she ever felt conflicted. She drapes her arm over the back of the bench, her lips pursing as she thinks. Should she just go out and say it? Invite the lady to the lab, try to employ her right there? But it was odd, she wasn’t used to liking someone… Especially not this quickly, she didn’t want to be horribly blunt about her motives.

She shakes her head, almost unnoticeably, but the faint movement causes Lucy to look back and notice a few strands of violet in that bundle of hair. She crosses her legs and looks over to Lucy.

After a tense moment, Lucielle is the one to talk, her eyes on Dewott, who had been snuggling up into her arm. “Well… How’s your work?”

Olivia’s eyes widen, she was usually the interrogator. She sits up and kicks her boot a little. “It’s good, it’s all good. Not sure why you’d be wondering though.”

Lucielle shrugs. “It’s a neat place, once I get my coastal Pokédex more fleshed out, I’d like to look into working there.”

“Coastal? Why not central first? Are you a beach girl?” Olivia turns to face Lucy more, barely leaning closer to rest under the shade of the tree. She didn’t choose to pry into Lucy’s future, there was a genuine sense of wonder in her voice.

“You can say that, the first Pokémon I ever met was a Corsola… The sweetest little staghorn morph, I think I was five? Not sure, but since then I adored water types.”

Olivia nodded along, nonchalantly fiddling with her gloves. “That’s actually very nice.” She says quietly, before turning to Dewott. “And this darling? How in the world did you come across a shiny?”

Dewott perked up when he heard his name, and Olivia smiled when she saw the otter peek his head over Lucielle’s shoulder. “This little buddy? His egg was a gift from my grandparents, they helped run the daycare down by Camphrier. The original owner moved to Paldea, left a few eggs and a few hundred dollars, guess they didn’t know what was in them.”

As Lucy spoke, her partner sniffed at the air, at the faint metallic smell around Olivia. He steps forward, placing his little paws on one of Lucy’s thighs, leaning closer to the doctor like a curious kitten. Olivia reaches out her hand, barely extending a finger for the Pokémon to sniff it. Lucy laughs a little, and her smile brightens when Dewott actually climbs over her lap to get closer.

“I’m impressed you recognized him! Was it the shells?” Lucy chimes.

“Not really, just the fur,” Olivia answers calmly, before gently stroking the otter’s furry cheek. “I have a shiny partner of my own, it’s beautiful how different each individual can be.”

“You do?! How’d you find them?”

Olivia laughs along, it had been a bit since she actually talked to anyone. “I was around your age, a bit younger, but just out of general college. The lab I interned at was testing the potential of electric types as a power source, and it just so happened that one of them was just a little bit darker than the rest.”

Thankfully, Dewott was warming up to his new friend, and Lucielle tapped her leg on the pavement as she watched the two. She didn’t have anywhere to be that morning, and had no idea where the time went. Not that she was complaining.

“It’s so interesting, isn’t it?” Lucy says after a few seconds of quietly observing.

“I know I’m supposed to ask, so I’ll give you this.. What’s interesting?” Olivia snickers, her eyes narrowing a little.

“How different everyone is, everything. And we all fit in even if we think we don’t.”

The doctor blinks a few times, wiping that smug look off her face. The last thing she expected to hear was this girl spit out some philosophical nonsense, but she nodded, and played along. “And just how do we fit in?”

“We fit together, you helped me have something to do this morning, you gave Dewott those ear scratches he’d been begging for.” The otter makes a small chittering sound as Olivia shifts. “You sounded interested in me, and this was our chance to meet. I’m just glad we took it.”

The doctor brought her hand back, causing Dewott to open his eyes and sit back down on the bench, his tail swishing. “Huh…” She leans her head back, looking into the stark blue sky as her hair cascaded over her back. Although she couldn’t truly forget, her mind was off work for the first time in weeks. “That’s sweet, Lucy. You’re sweet.”

They both smiled, and when Olivia straightened back up, Lucielle responded. “Says you!”

[mrfartpowered]

okay ik I haven’t posted much abt lize’s and my post-canon timeline but I wanna talk abt how the Weinerham Family (weinerhamily) celebrates the 4th of July!!! here’s what u need to know

Randy & Howard are gay married and have a set of twins, June & B (seen on @cunningweiner). Also their legal last name is Weinerham

Mort & Viceroy are gay dating. Hannibal and Marci are happily married as well. the four of them have some sort of polycule thing going on. No they can’t explain it <3 and neither can i

Debbie & Theresa are gay married and family friends of the Weinerhams/the Evil Polycule. they have a son, Dewey, who is a couple years younger than the twins

Heidi is gay dating Morgan and they are #childfree

Bash fucks off to Europe soon after graduating high school and Marci lets him “spread his wings” (he does not attend the family gathering)

they are a very weird, very big, oddly happy family

AND NOW!!! SILLY HOLIDAY ACTIVITIES BELOW THE CUT

Every summer the Weinerman clan & company spend a week at a McFist lake house out at Lake Papoose. The 4th of July usually falls in the middle or the end of these trips, and it’s a huge Thing™️ every time.

When the tradition began, Mort and Viceroy had recently started dating, and Bash was still obligated to attend family vacations. Heidi/Morgan and Theresa/Debbie would not join the group for a couple more years. Randy and Howard were together, but not yet married and not yet fathers. The first 4th of July on the lake, the two of them snuck away from the McFists + Mort with a handful of fireworks, stolen from Viceroy’s stash. They only meant to fuck around with some sparklers, maybe a couple fountains. But SURPRISE! Bash crashes the moment with a bigass Roman candle. Randy and Howard try to shoo him away and it turns into an argument. Mid-scuffle, the Roman candle goes off. A grassfire starts. No one gets hurt, but it’s safe to say everyone is a little peeved for the rest of the trip. Bash only attends one more lake vacation after that before fucking off to Europe.

In the “present day” — meaning, all the kids are born, all the couples are married, the tradition is firmly established — everyone gets along quite well, sans-Bash. Randy and Hannibal kinda grate on each other, even though neither of them can quite put a finger on why the other is so irritating, but their love for the collective family outweighs the annoyance. Heidi and Morgan make incredible cocktails for the adults. Theresa always makes the cutest, tastiest America-themed snacks and desserts. Viceroy and Marci chat for hours on the porch. Debbie and Howard gossip and watch bad Hallmark movies for fun. Dewey, June, and B always get into some shenanigan or other. It’s all quite domestic and fun. In this timeline they really are a weird, happy, tight-knit family. I could go on and on about how everybody interacts with each other but then this post would never ever end

Even bigger than the fireworks, though, is the Annual Weinerman-McFist-Weinerham-Fowler-Kang Paddleboard Tournament on the Water!

Okay, yeah, it’s a mouthful, but here’s the gist of it: on the lake directly behind the McFist lake house, a ways from the shore, two paddle boards are anchored, nearby one another, but far enough apart that they won’t crash. Anyone wanting to participate, whether child or adult, is randomly paired against someone else, forming a tournament bracket. Each pair swims out to the boards, armed with one of those foam jousting sticks. Then. They Fight. In order to move up in the bracket, you must knock your opponent completely into the water.

Why is it such a big deal for the Weinerhamily? Because everyone single one of them is a competitive asshole! Except for Marci and Viceroy, who referee the event. And in order to participate, you must bring something to contribute to the Victory Pile, which is a pile of the brucest prizes, all of which belong to the ultimate winner. And everyone always goes buck-fucking-WILD with the Victory Pile. Fine wines, Disneyworld tickets, $100 gift cards, gaming consoles have all been seen in the Pile.

For a while, the victor changed year to year…until Debbie’s first win. After which, she becomes undefeated. But this doesn’t deter anybody, no — they get MORE competitive trying to take her out. Nobody understands how she’s so good at it. They just know she packs a LOT of force into such a tiny body.

Hannibal’s usually out in the first round (unless he’s paired against a child), at which point he pouts for a while until he remembers that he can spend the rest of the Tournament heckling whoever took him out.

Howard is a force to be reckoned with — low center of gravity makes him hard to knock over! — and so is his girl, June, by sheer force of will. Morgan is also a powerful foe, while Heidi is quite average. Randy has quick reflexives, but is fairly easy to knock over once he runs out of energy to dodge. B usually ends up laughing too hard to actually fight, and Dewey is the youngest, so everyone knows he doesn’t stand a chance. Theresa plays quite casually once her wife starts winning the Victory Pile every year.

that’s really all I wanted to say abt this but PLS feel free to ask me or Lize abt this timeline/the Weinerhamily Lake Holiday in my asks or the replies of this post !!!!!!! happy America day or whatever

[signmyheart]

Pairings: Sanji x Y/n

summary: i forgot to do tiuhs

Warnings: Sexual assault, drug addiction. (Not in this chapter?)

Note: Some parts are made up bc I'm not that far into op (I'm like halfway)

The shuffling on your vanity caused small noises to slip under your door. The banter of pirates below covered up the small sounds. Quickly you paced back and forth gathering your most prized possessions. Tonight was it, you'd leave for good. You'd prove that you didn't need him. The slippery satin robe hung off your arm loosely exposing your bare shoulder. You grabbed the large dufflebag packing the berri you'd shoved away from him in pockets and lockers. The few he hadn't gotten a hold of was barely enough to take a ship out of your shithole. If it didn't suffice you'd force yourself onto men to escape. Anything to leave.

"Y/n sweetheart!" There was the sound of those familiar stocky steps. For a moment you froze scrambling to shove your bag under the light. You quickly staged your scene grabbing a makeup brush, and applying imaginary makeup your hair in disarray. The door flew open almost instinctively you flinched.

"There's my favourite girl…" His voice was low and poisonous. You look to the side seeing his flurry of pink fluff. You silently took a breath.

"Yes, Doffy?" You smiled sweetly at him. He smirked and took off his glasses. His head lowered down to your level.

"Get undressed." He said coldly just like he did everyday. You wanted to speak up, resist his hands, rip away from this hell. But you didn't, you couldn't. And so you let it happen, just like you did every day.

You faced the wall wrapped in your cold pink satin sheets. As Doflamingo dressed on the other end of the bed. You hid a purple mark on your wrist.

I am disgusting you thought pushing your legs together. Maybe if you shut your eyes together hard enough you could disappear into the empty shadows. The door to your dressing room slammed shut, and again you flinched. Tomorrow you'd work up the courage to leave, build your strength up enough to say no. Maybe this was okay, he had never hurt you.

"Maybe I'm ungrateful…" You whispered to yourself until you fell into the grip of sleep.

The next day had brought you to a grocery store. The best in your opinion, it swayed to the rhythm of the ocean waves. It was a small little corner store but the mangoes were the sweetest you've ever had. Colourful glass is aligned along the shelves as decoration. All a different type of blue, the produce smelled fresh and plants hung from the ceiling. Someone snatched it up before you were on your way to pick the ripest mango buried under dozens of other mangoes. You frowned up at a blonde man, he pressed a cigarette between his lips.

"Sorry m'lady, I'm assuming this is what you were reaching for." He apologized bowing politely offering the mango up to you.

"Yes, you must be some sort of cook to spot a delicious fruit like that." You chuckled softly.

"Right on the money beautiful" He smiled at you. It was a genuine smile. One you hadn't seen in months.

"How'd someone as handsome as yourself end up here." You returned a compliment to him. He halted his hunt for another mango and his cigarette nearly tumbled out of his mouth.

"Like you said, I'm a cook searching for my next project." He swallowed plucking a bunch of mangos from the pile. You grinned.

"And what would that be?" You asked wanting to talk a bit longer. Something about him attracted him to you.

"A dessert from my home town." He said kindly humming a tune to himself.

"Sounds delicious." You said softly, watching him approach a small bouquet of carnations from the assortment he picked out a pink one and handed it to you graciously,

"My poor heart aches," you muttered quietly. He smirked.

"Impressive, not many people know the language of flowers." He handed a couple coins to the cashier. You trailed behind him offering up your money as well. He shook his head and pushed your money away paying for you as well. Your eyes sparkled with admiration. No man had ever treated you in such a way. Out on the street you dreaded departing from this new stranger. You didn't even ask him for his name.

"What-"

"Would-"

You both said at the same time and you both let out a laugh.

"Please stranger, join me for lunch my treat." He offered you his arm. Without hesitation, you grabbed him gently. On your walk, he explained that he was a pirate. His role was to cook which explained the grocery shopping. In the middle of his storytelling, you suddenly remembered.

"He'd wake up at some ungodly hour and I'd catch him eating our food-"

"Y/n," He looked down at you. Your face turned a tint of pink at your sudden outburst.

"M-my name. . . is y/n" You said shyly.

"Beautiful name, I'm Sanji" He grabbed your hand, placing a delicate kiss on it. You were too infatuated to remember the large purple mark on your wrists.

"What's this…" He frowned trailing his calloused fingers over the mark. It was obvious what it was, it was a mark of your biggest humiliation. Alas, you couldn't help the blatant lie that trickled out of your mouth.

"I got my hand caught in the door… I'm pretty clumsy" You laughed knocking on your head. You pulled your sleeve back down and tucked yourself behind his arm again. You continued to pull him forward which is why you didn't see his eyes flicker with rage.

...

"Who's this Sanji and why is she on my ship?" A curious black-haired boy tilted his head at you from his crisis cross position.

"She's... a friend, her name is y/n." He hesitated initially, not knowing what you were to him, but you smiled at his words.

The boy, you assumed was the captain Sanji told you about.

"Ignore our idiot captain, I'm Nami it's a pleasure to have you on board." One glance at Nami's cheeky grin and you were in awe she was gorgeous.

"Thank you, you're too kind Nami." You couldn't help but blush at her she made you feel nervous..

"Not very often Sanji brings such a pretty lady like yourself on board." A big man with blue hair said and you couldn't help but giggle.

"Hey! Watch it Franky," Sanji growled. Sanji turned over and held his hand out to you.

"Come into the kitchen with me." His hand was so soothing against your own. He led you through the ship past the curious rooms and into his kitchen. It seemed huge but small at the same time, its simple furniture made you feel at home. Sanji brought you to a counter and motioned for you to take a seat. Again a kindness you were gifted rarely. Immediately as he stepped into the kitchen you felt a change in him. He seemed much more relaxed as if he could finally be at ease in the safety of his little space.

"How would you like some mango pancake?" He grinned pulling his apron over his head and down onto his lean figure. He inched closer to you while rolling up his sleeves. You were flustered at how handsome he looked while doing something so simple.

"That's fine" You rested your hand against your palm. You watched as he collected all the items he needed to make the dessert. He swiftly peeled back the skin of the mango, mixed and combined different things together. You were fascinated by his quick and fast movements it was as if he were dancing. He switched from one position to another, working at the stove and then the countertop. You swore this is something you could never get tired of. Before you knew it he was finishing up and plating the delicate food.

"Please tell me what you think." He beamed settling against his hand to watch you try his delicacy.

"With pleasure." You replied excitedly reaching for your fork. When you stuck the utensil in the dessert it was almost as if it melted into it due to the plush consistency. Your eyes widened slightly.

"Oh my god soo good!" You groaned melting away with the flavours on your tongue.

"Good, I'm glad you liked it y/n." There was his smile again, it was so real you felt like you didn't deserve it.

"Thank you for your kindness Sanji. I don't think I'll ever forget you." You smiled sadly looking away. The sun was setting and you knew it was time for you to return to your miserable lifestyle.

Bruh idk what happened... I started this a while ago and forgot where I was going with it. dunno if I should continue I should really start planning these out... T,T

[theaawalker]

Sparks & Sprinkles [Kim P. + Ramona F.]

Pairing: Kim Pines + Ramona Flowers (fluff) Song Inspo: SugarCrash! by ElyOtto Word Count: 1,126 Summary: Kim Pine and Ramona Flowers have a girl's day out: defeating ninjas, eating frozen yogurt, and not talking about Scott Pilgrim. Warnings: violence, use of "slut", mentions of cigarettes Masterlist: see fandoms (pc-friendly)

Sometimes Kim Pine wonders why she even gets out of bed in the morning. She hates her roommate, Hollie (cheating slut), she has the lamest job in the world (yes,sir, we keep those sorts of DVDs in the back, behind the Transformers display), and the one decent thing in her world, playing drums in the band (We are Sex-Bomb-omb!) has ground to an amazing halt because they are "recording."

She just wants to spend a little time with her best friend's surprisingly cool ex-girlfriend Ramona Flowers (soon-to-be-not-ex if he can pull up his pants and woman up) before they have to meet up with Scott later. A day at the yogurt shop sounded just right. Just Kim & Ramona.

Of course, a gang of ninjas wouldn't give her the satisfaction.

Really, jeez, she thinks as she twirls a drumstick around her finger and pokes one of the ninjas in the eye (ZING!), while punching another with a gloved fist (THUNK!) -- is it too much to wish for a bonus level every once in a while, instead of always having to fight toward the big boss at the end?

Ramona obviously feels the same way. Her hair flies back as she scissor-kicks her opponent with a booted foot.

(KPOW!)

"All!" She spins and slices at another in the throat.

(HURK!)

"I!" She cartwheels over to snag a tray.

(WHIRL!)

"Want!" She smacks a girl ninja full-face.

(SLAM!)

"Is!" The girl stumbles back to crash into one of the red plastic tables.

(CRUNCH!)

"A frozen yogurt!"

Kim elbows the last one in the mouth, and he crumples. The ninjas flash like seizure-inducing strobe lights and then disappear. A shower of prize coins hits the table where they left their winter coats. There is a smattering of applause from the other patrons, and then they all go back to their desserts.

Just another day in Kim Pine's Annoying Little Life.

Ramona swipes a hand across her sweaty brow and nonchalantly brushes herself off. Then she walks over to their table and picks up one of the glittering coins. "You want this?" she asks Kim. "I just got paid, so..."

"Yeah, okay." Kim slides the coins off into her hand and then into her pocket. (KACHING! Kim Pine gets $15.79 and 10 exp. points!) No need to go advertising it, but she could use a little extra. Kim jerks her head toward the register. "I'll go get the yogurts. What do you want?"

"They got anything tequila-flavored?" Ramona drawls.

Kim barks a laugh. "You should put in a comment card."

"Then whatever. You choose for me."

"Vanilla, no toppings," Kim says, deadpan. "Don't want the gummy bears to clash with your hair."

Ramona smiles, twirling one pink-dyed lock between her fingers. She gets Kim's sense of humor, unlike Hollie (two-faced slut). "Nice." Ramona says, feigning a lack of sarcasm. "And so thoughtful."

Matching Ramona's sincerity with a bright little nod, Kim slides up to the counter. "One small white chocolate with chocolate chips, and one small vanilla..." She steals a glance at Ramona, who is staring blankly out the yogurt shop window. It's funny. Even with her bright pink hair, Ramona almost seems to fade into the crowd with some unspoken sadness. "...with strawberries."

"Got it." The guy at the register types in the order and then looks pointedly over at the overturned tables to the left.

"What." She gives him a glare. No one picks up at No-Account Video when there's a brawl in the family section except her.

He backs down and shrugs. "Two yogurts, coming right up."

Kim turns her back and doesn't bother to watch him make them. She plays it cool, waiting until he's got the little cup under the noisy yogurt-spewing machine to say, "And don't even think of spitting in them." She doesn't even ruin the effect by turning around again to catch his bewildered, guilty look.

Instead, she watches Ramona.

She's mysterious (Kim likes that), cool under pressure (Kim would give her prize Zildjian to be as cool as Ramona) and fun. Kim doesn't know if it's just the way New Yorkers act, but Kim really enjoys her touch of American badassness in this way-too-Canadian city.

When the yogurts are done, she brings them to the table and sits. Ramona takes her spoon without comment on the strawberries, and digs in, still lost in her own thoughts.

Kim wants to get Ramona out of this sudden funk, but she can't come up with a decent topic of conversation. "Um..." she starts, wincing inwardly. "You... make any interesting deliveries lately?" Then she winces outwardly.

"Huh?" Ramona says, coming out of her daze. "Interesting deliveries? Oh... no, nothing really."

"Still, it's gotta be more interesting than working in a video store." Kim exaggerates a yawn, her plastic spoon hanging from her mouth.

"All right..." Ramona leans forward. "Last month... I almost lit one of my packages on fire with a cigarette."

Kim almost chokes on her spoon. "HAHAHA! How?"

"Guess I shouldn't try to make deliveries the morning after one of Julie's stupid theme parties." She takes another bite of her yogurt. "Too hungover to do two things at once."

"Oh, man, I wish I'd been there to see it...!"

As she's laughing, she sees another freakin' ninja sneak in the side door out of sight of Ramona. Kim prepares to jump up and take him down, but Ramona's hand slips quietly into her purse, and withdraws her giant mallet from the subspace pocket.

With a whirling leap, she smashes the mallet down (THOOM!), just missing the ninja. He jumps over the top of the weapon, sailing above their heads. Kim tries to tackle him to the floor, but Ramona's mallet doubles back and hits the ninja's spine with a satisfying CRACK! He explodes into multi-colored coruscating fireworks.

(LEVEL COMPLETED, 500 bonus points!)

Ramona calmly stuffs the mallet back in her purse. "I almost didn't get that one."

"C'mon," Kim says, completely serious. "You're Ramona Flowers."

The corner of Ramona's mouth turns up. "Guess so."

"Hey, you wanna get some coffee?" Kim asks, pushing her hair out of her eyes.

"Sure," Ramona says, blowing at a curling strand of pink in her face. "I think we've reached our ninja quotient for the day."

They push their way out of the yogurt shop into the biting winter wind. Kim smiles as the cold starts to numb her ears. Maybe Scott will forget all about this stupid meeting she's secretly bringing Ramona to (he doesn't deserve Ramona, anyway).

She wouldn't mind at all.

• ♧ • ♧ • ♧ • ♧ • ♧ • ♧ • ♧ • ♧ • ♧ • ♧ •

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[jellyluchi]

What about a reader who fawns over her? Like would do anything for her, but reader is usually this super tough and strong person but whenever they're around Foccacia it's a super sweet reader?

I didn't give gender much thought

A/N: This is very adorable ! 🥺🩷I feel like she'd love a reader like that, someone who has a different side to them! I can make reader gender neutral for sure

Focaccia x Reader with a tough personality and sweeter side

— warnings: none — genre: fluff

The first time you meet Focaccia she is every bit of the reserved and unassuming woman standing in the corner of the room trying to avoid eye contact. Still, she is polite and friendly enough that it makes you interested in seeing what lies beneath her quiet reservation.

As you spend more time in her presence, you start to notice that perhaps the tough exterior of your personality is what intimidates her. She would be laughing with another person, say he best friend Pesci, but all joy vanishes from her face when you're around. As if you've sucked in whatever fun she was having.

It's only natural that as a response, you tend to become sweeter to her, making her feel comfortable. And you are so glad you did, because the sooner she sees how gentle and sweet you can be it lures her out of her shyness.

As your disposition towards her changes, you can see her smile more often, relax around you, tease you and joke with you in a way she hadn't before. Now she wouldn't put a stop to her joy in your presence and it makes you want to nearly do anything for her just to see the little hearts on her cheeks get red with her skin.

You realize however, Focaccia is he oblivious sort of person. She has no clue that you are sweet only to her, that you would do anything for her sake and no others. Pesci and the others do notice the change nearly immediately.

Sometimes the others call you out, mentioning maybe that you wouldn't get them a present the way you give Focaccia little gifts here and there or that you're not as much comfortable joking with the rest of them as you do her.

Only after hearing another person's perspective does Focaccia believe you have changed somewhat for her. And it completely shocks her to the core. If you are embarrassed from this revelation she would even think it's cute!

With so much affection toward her, it would help her open to you, she would admit "It was rather nerve wracking to be in your presence at first," given she is simply the anxious type. But seeing the way you fawn over her makes Focaccia blush deeply.

At first she would only say "thank you," whenever you're clearly going above and beyond for her. But eventually she is giving you little cheek kisses, hugs, and doing favors for you in return.

"I have baked these for you," she says one day holding some sort of dessert or bread. "You're always kind to me... and I thought I should return the sentiment." She's always smiling in your presence now and to your joy, more affectionate with you than anyone else.

Depending on if you realize or not that Focaccia has grown feelings for you, you could ask her for a date and if it has been long enough that she feels very comfortable she will say yes! And she will try to return every act of sweetness from you as she can even in your relationship.

"Can I kiss you?" You ask on the date with her, and it makes the little hearts go pink the way you'd expect from a question like this. Of course you are all softness for her. "Yes," she says quietly and she would wait for you to claim your prize from her mouth.

[crowleys-hips]

If you wont do every question i expect you to at least do these pretty please i am literally on the ground here give me somethinggg: record, apple, whatever the fuck Châteauneuf-du-Pape is, bentley, laudanum, magic, polaroid, pot, fly, turtleneck, south downs cottage, coffee, nightingales, tartan socks :)

well, since you have begged so nicely, i shall reward you with my entire bared soul just for you <3

record - a song that's very significant to you? what does it mean to you? Community Property by Steel Panther. this song has carried me through the toughest times in my life, it inspires me to be my best self and it really speaks to my soul. every time i listen to it i'm fighting tears. it's the most moving thing i've ever heard.

apple - what's your guilty pleasure? i've never felt guilty for my pleasures

Châteauneuf-du-Pape - tell us about a funny/goofy time with someone this one time i was walking at night with a friend to the grocery store i think? and some guy came over to us and he was holding a chicken, and he asked us if we know what chickens eat and where could he get chicken food. chicken man, i'll never forget you.

Bentley - what's your most prized possession? this little piece of your heart i carefully guard with my entire being <3

laudanum - what's the craziest thing you've ever done? oh lots of strong contenders for that one, but um. one of them i guess could be that one time i sort of kind of proposed to someone in the most pathetic, least romantic way possible as a last resort to try to get them to stay with me and choose me instead of something infinitely more valuable to them...i have made some questionable choices.

magic - what's something you suck at but absolutely love doing? talking with people

polaroid - what's a bittersweet memory? a memory that is both bitter and sweet

pot - a favorite childhood memory? being around 7 or 8 and playing with my best friend in her backyard pool

fly - tell us a secret. shh it's okay we won't tell anyone (except all of tumblr) i don't actually hate people. most of the time.

turtleneck - show us (or draw) your hottest outfit

not my best, but fagdyke-ish enough i hope lol

South Downs Cottage - what is your ideal happy ending? a cottage in the South Downs

coffee - describe what you would do if you were in a coffee shop au with your crush and there was an apocalypse out there and all you had to defend yourself is whatever is at hand in the coffee shop (mugs, coffee machine, plates, cash register, desserts, chairs, tables, napkins, etc). the enemies are floating heads who want to kidnap your crush. go: i wouldn't have to do anything. they would just have to look at me and be so appalled they would turn to ash on the spot. as for the crush, they would unfortunately also turn to ash probably.

nightingales - what makes it all worth it for you? Aziraphale

tartan socks - hot or not? absolutely. the hottest.

good omens themed asks

[quadrant-query]

❀✿ This is sort of a complicated situation, but do you have any advice for pitch dates and ways to flirt and keep things going that are less dangerous? ❀Preferably without it coming across as patronizing❀. (At least not in the wrong way!) ✿❀ ❀✿ I'm not getting into it for privacy reasons, but my kismesis recently had a traumatic injury. We used to spar and fight a lot, and we're both pretty active trolls so a lot of our relationship has been built around that. Since they got hurt though, they aren't able to do a lot of things that they used to be able to, even though they're pretty far along with recovery. We were initially taking a break from dates and trying to just wait for them to get better, but recently they learned some of the issues they're having might be a lot more permanent, so they might never get back to normal. They've been worried that this is going to change things between us, and I want to show them they're being a complete idiot! ❀Obviously❀ we don't have to stop dating just because it'll be a little different, I'm not that shallow! But I'm having a little bit of a hard time coming up with new ideas, especially because I don't want them to think I'm going easy on them or even give off the wrong signals and seem like I pity them. I still hate them, I just want to hate them in a relatively safe way, you know? ✿❀

This is one of the best questions I've gotten yet.

There are lots of good ways you can compete with someone that aren't necessarily physical in nature. It depends on what interests the two of you and what you'll enjoy (or hate) doing the most.

Some ideas could be:

Scavenger or treasure hunting (Assuming you both have equal transportation)

Seeing who can learn a new craft the fastest

Art contest (Have a mutual hatefriend judge)

Board games, especially strategic games like chess

Trivia games or even watching trivia television shows if you need something very low energy

Seeing who can rise to the ranks the fastest in an MMO

See how inconvenient you can be to each other in a two player co-op game

Attempting to make a dish or dessert as a contest

Visiting an arcade and trying to win the biggest prize

Arm wrestling (If it's not their arm that's been injured)

Trying to prank each other or fuck up each other's plans

Regular times to just be on call together and annoy each other

If both of you are comfortable with it, you could also be challenging them to do things that help make their injury easier to deal with, to coax them back into your old activities slowly over time, if that's possible. But they might also have a moirail handling that.

The most important thing in this situation is to show your kismesis that you haven't lost any respect for them and you still see them as the dangerous rival you always did, which it seems like you've already got covered. So hats off to you anon.

[bleep-bloop-boo]

18?

18. What's your ideal date? omg i fall in love with the smallest things so i can romanticize anything but uhh lets see

First we go to the arcade, we play tons of games, just chilling and making casual talk. Then as time goes on, our walls begin to drop and we start to act more unhinged. We get sort of competitive, trying to outwin each other and some stupid game, maybe like the just dance machine. I'll watch them play, fondness erupting in my chest at their chessy grin, the happy, careless way the play and the warmth that seems to exude from them. It's all ruined when I lose and they tease me ruthlessly about it (i cant pay attention because they're too endearing). We go over to the carnival and play rigged games and laugh at each other's stupid jokes. When we leave, we leave with our pockets full of little prizes and heads filled with a joy that seemed to infect every thought and future plan with an eager excitement. We end up getting dinner from some cheap place, not being able to hold in our laughter long enough to place our order. We leave with our fast food (i already begin eating the dessert/milkshake) and they shake their head, scolding me slightly and warning me that I'll be too full for dinner. I just stick my tongue out at them as we leave the quiet, run-down fast food store. We end up walking aimlessly for hours, up and down city roads, popping into random shops and giggling at the stupidest of things. At this point of the night, all means of self-control are gone and we both just say whatever pops into our heads. We're a bit too loud, a bit too happy and everyone around us gives us quick, disapproving glares. We don't care though, we just look at each other and burst out into even more laughter. I'll probably fall down laughing and when they bend down to help me up, I'll pull them too so they fall perfectly into my lap. They're so close to me, I can't help but blush. My skin tingles where they touch, and I can't help but think how perfect our bodies fit together. Like two halfs of a puzzle piece. (ew cliche, lol ik) Even when our laughter dies down, they don't get up. They just stay sprawled across me on the dirsty store floor, in what can't be a comfortable position. They whisper quietly, "You're cute when you laugh" and quickly get up, nearly tripping in their flustered state. For once that night, we leave the store in silence, just enjoying each others presence. We make our way to some park that's long closed. We easily jump the fence without anyone noticing and find a little corner to hide away in together. With nothing but each other to protect from the nips of the late night wind, we lay on our backs enjoying the stars. We point out constellations, barely saying anything. That's fine though. We don't need to talk to understand each other. Soon, one of us nods away listening to the symphony of crickets and bushes rustling. Resting their head on my shoulder, I can't help but feel a swell of protection and pride. They were mine and I was theirs. And this little grove? The cheap dinner? The arcade meant for little kids? The whole night? That was ours too. gfhdjskdfivhdjskdfjv OKAY SO UHH I WENT A BIT OVERBOARD LMRO anyways yea, arcade + fast food dinner + walking around the city + ending the night stargazing

[terrence-silver]

"I have never known closeness like this"

For old man Terry

---

The Inland Taipan (or the Oxyuranus microlepidotus) is considered the most venomous snake in the world with a murine LD 50 value of 0.025 mg/kg SC --- a fact easily researchable in libraries, in wild life encyclopedias, on a National Geographics broadcast documentary or a quick online Google search, and it takes quite a bit of a connected channel with a professional black market poacher turned contractor of illegal substances living somewhere in a tucked away compound deep in the Australian Outback to covertly smuggle the poison extract to LA in a sealed decorative vial, that was, in turn, secured into an unmarked, elegant black box, inlaid with a dark, plush bedding inside. A container not unlike something worthy of Cartier's diamonds. Just one droplet in the whole bottle, the specifications state. That's all it takes. The rest being a concoction of drugs and medications, tranquilizers strong enough to put down a Rhino, so, as he is told, you don' feel a thing. That idea pleases him, as he reads through every bit of ingredients, meticulous about just what goes inside of you, approving of each chemical silently to himself, having requested that it is brewed like this for the body that was his. For you. It would, ultimately, just be a paralytic sort of numbness, a coma and then death contained in a colorless, odourless cocktail small enough to fit into his pocket. If Romeo and Juliet could do it in the play, why would he be any different?

He was getting old, and you were still so young.

Terry always knew that the trajectory of your lives would part paths.

He would eventually and inevitably succumb to age, regardless of money, regardless of all the top notch doctors in the world, state of the art equipment, his diets, routines, giving Veganism a tragic try he forced himself to endure in those moments when he tried to, as they say, live right and turn a new page, regardless of exercise regimens and a full blown heart and liver transplant for all he was concerned. You would live on, decades his junior, and he would be without you, sidestepped and sidelined by the prospect of lasting unity and in the last few months, the thought was terrifying --- he supposed there was something unforgivable about the fact that he found you so late in life. About the fact that when you were born, he's already got his first ever grey strand of hair. Some universal sort of joke that would ensure he would only get a small taste of what a happy ending is like right before it is ripped from his grasp by an undeniable generational gap; a thing entirely outside of the bounds of his control and jurisdiction to change. But, no. Terry Silver wouldn't be messed with like this. He wouldn't allow it. If he was bound to die, he would do it on his own fucking terms; when he wished to and how he wished to, and he wouldn't be going alone either. Pharaohs, Maharajas and the Kings of Old never went alone either. Warlords were buried with their slaves, servants and concubines.

Their loot, weapons, treasures, their favourite horses, their golden chariots.

Terry Silver would wish to be buried with you.

His most prized possession on this Earth. 

That evening, he has the last ever supper in your company --- the staff dismissed from the mansion's premises to give you the utmost, uninterrupted privacy with him, every moment precious; Michelin star dishes cleared out, the dessert eaten, the night is starry (and he kept his eyes on the weather reports weeks in advance, looking for the perfect conditions) and Terry suggests a toast out of a coveted Macallan from his cellar's private collection that was thirty years old; more or less the age gap he's had with you and the irony wasn't lost on him as you drank together, huddled closed on the sofa overlooking the balcony and the sea; as you smile and kiss him tenderly, so innocent in your cluelessness. Beautiful even as you didn't realize you were drinking a tentative, bashful sips of a scotch riddled with serpentine venom. Just a little more, his thoughts echo. Any moment now. We'll be forever together. No more bullshit rules. Bullshit limitations. He takes a gulp and swallows, not looking away from your eyes. Tomorrow morning, his staff would, he knew, find you locked in each other's embrace in a sleep that never ends, and at first, initially, to an outsider looking in, you would appear like lovers simply having dozed off hugging. Carla or one of the other maids wouldn't have the heart to wake you before they realize the truth. -"I have never known closeness like this."- He whispers to you as you snuggle into the crook of his neck. He finds it is the most honest thing he's ever confessed to in his whole life.