#as per my tags on my reblog of my previous post

[post-modern-prometheus]

mike wheeler’s ‘87 halloween costume if he isn’t… yk fucking dead

[embrosegraves]

ℙ𝕣𝕖-𝕤𝕖𝕒𝕤𝕠𝕟 𝔹𝕠𝕟𝕕𝕚𝕟𝕘

Oscar Piastri x Horner!Reader Where teams are announced, dinners are held and Oscar finds himself surrounded by people who are determined to help him on his way to greatness.

Warnings: As per, explicit language and grammatical errors. Adelaide Kane is used for one image depicting the reader.

Again, I plead that you ignore the dates on the tweets, the storyline is like 1-2 weeks behind present.

series masterlist | previous part | next part

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liked by yn.horner, danielricciardo and others

oscarpiastri dinner with the team (2nd 📸: yn.horner) tagged: gerihalliwellhorner, christianhorner, redbullracing

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gerihalliwellhorner It was a pleasure having you over ❤️ -> oscarpiastri The pleasure was mine, Mrs Horner -> gerihalliwellhorner Oh call me Geri, sweetheart! -> yn.horner or better yet! call her Mother Spice!!

fan1 his first team dinner 🥹🥹

fan2 forget abt dinner, oscar's outfit slayed 🔥 -> danielricciardo he called me an hour before dinner asking if the "fit was good enough" -> oscarpiastri It was a valid question and I was nervous! -> fan3 girl you won fan2

youtube.com/mattp1tommy Exclusive Interview with Oscar Piastri!

imessage

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Liked by redbullracing, maxverstappen1 and others

yn.horner A lil bit of this, a lil bit of that (GP and I are the only ones who know how to cook 😭😭) tagged: danielricciardo, oscarpiastri, gplambiase, maxverstappen1

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maxverstappen1 Lies and slander, I know how to cook -> yn.horner you know how to make a sandwich at best -> danielricciardo she really came for your throat -> oscarpiastri you and I aren't any better danielricciardo -> danielricciardo why are you on her side??? -> yn.horner because he's actually using his brain

christianhorner All my adult-ish children in one place. Good. -> yn.horner now whyd you call us adult-ish?? 🤔 -> christianhorner You know why

fan1 they have matching hoodies- i'm not stable enough for this -> fan2 SAME 😭😭😭

fan3 what I wanna know is who was in that dogpile??? -> yn.horner On the bottom is gplambiase then its maxverstappen1 and danielricciardo -> fan4 where was oscarpiastri ?? -> oscarpiastri a safe distance away, i assure you

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imessage

I was originally gonna post this BEFORE the race but I completly forgot I was going to a music festival and I didn't end up getting home until 1 in the morning.

I woke up 30 minutes ago, quickly fixed some things with the texts and now I'm posting it. I still haven't watched the race, so I'm gonna go do that now and then I'll start planning for the next chapter

I hope you enjoyed!

likes replies and reblogs are always appreciated <3

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

upon his grace 1

No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as noncon/dubcon, age gap, power dynamics, cheating, bullying, and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: You are called to court after the end of the civil war, but find yourself facing many challenges, expected and not. (fantasy medieval au)

Characters: king!Steve Rogers

Note: bro, Idk how I start at point A and get to fucking outer space. Also happy bday to Steverino.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me.

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Please do not just put ‘more’. I will block you.

I love you all immensely. Take care. 💖

The gardens of Astra Castle are unlike any you’ve seen before. Certainly, you’ve never been to a royal castle previously. Your father’s own hold is modest, still bearing the wooden foundation, whereas the rich lords have poured mortar and built in stone. 

So, it is a great honour to be among the noble women chosen to serve the queen. Most unexpected. As a daughter of a lower house, it is rather unusual, but it comes with the newly set writ tabled at the end of the uprising. That is how your father tells it anyhow. 

King Steven is as newly crowned as he is newlywed. After a lengthy revolt against the previous king, the land has settled, and upon his victory, the new ruler promises the expansion of prosperity to all. The very precedence of his war rested on the greed of the former court and its covetous lords. 

To those who took up his mantle, he has made good his word. To the commoners, he has sent bread and ale, livestock and alms; to the nobles, he has granted titles and lands. You were of the same doubt as your father, however, you expected to be forgotten in the disarray. 

Yet, you were not. You’re there with several other ladies. A set of blond twins borne of a duke and duchess, the sole heir of a widowed countess, and several earl’s daughters such as yourself. Unlike them, you do not wear satin or silk, not muslin either. You have only the dyed linen your mother attempted to enhance with some embroidery around the cuffs and collar. 

“Marcia and Marigold,” the twins introduce themselves as you cluster together in the gardens, grooms and servants bustling around carriages and chests. “Lady Calliope,” they call out the countess’ daughter, “we met prior, yes? Your mother is near Estrela.” 

“She is,” Calliope answers in her stern manner, herself seeming a widow in her black dress. The shimmery fabric makes up for its single tone. 

“Ameri, Dorida, and... Selene,” they point to the other girls, themselves clothed in scarlet, rose, and azure respectively. “We know the earls, your fathers. They gathered at our father’s hold for the battle near Caffre.” 

The twins take turns speak so that sometimes you cannot track whose lips are moving. It is even that they trade off in the middle of sentences. You find yourself almost as lost by their words as your new surroundings. 

“And you...” The twins turn their jade eyes upon you. It is there you have found the only difference in them; they have the same heights, the same hair, the same gowns even, but there is a sliver of grey through Marcia’s green iris. “We haven’t figured who you are.” 

“My father is an earl. In Woodsdam.” 

“Woodsdam,” they echo in unison and share a look. They are perplexed. 

“A minor house,” Calliope provides. “a farmer more than a noble, if I’m not mistaken.” 

“We have vast lands and we tend to them, yes,” you assure. You expect their condescension. Your father warned you for it but he bid that you keep your chin up. The king has given him a mission of his own and so you will represent the family for the time. “We keep our people well and we fed the king’s troops when they marched." 

“Mm, sounds very... common,” Marigold grins and her sister snorts into her hand. 

“We know many lords like us, yes. They work hard amidst their vassals. It keeps the lands strong so that we may better serve the crown,” you return evenly.  

Your mother helped you prepare. She coached you to keep your manners and your spine. The latter is much more difficult as you face these ladies and their bobbles with only a ribbon in your hair and a pair of patched gloves. 

“Woodsdam? I think I rode through it once on the way to my grandfather’s summer castle,” Ameri tuts, “it was little more than a swamp.” 

“It must’ve been the spring rains, perhaps, lady,” you offer. 

“Summer house,” she enunciates, “one travels there in the summer.” 

Your cheek twitches at her barbed retort. Very well. You are not used to their sharpness. Their chittering has thus far centered on gossip and the cost of their new caps. 

“A wonder the pauper’s daughter received an invite. Are you certain you can read, lady?” Dorida snipes and looks to the twins for approval. You notice how they all tend to do so. 

“It was sent to my father, Lord Eldon,” your voice quavers. You are not so strong as your mother bid you to be.  

They cackle at your meek response, “the precious maiden of Woodsdam.” 

You put your head down as the activity all around threatens to swallow you up. You wish the ground would rent and you would fall right through. All your excitement has dissipated to a sludge in your veins. You touch your cheek as you try not to show your embarrassment. 

“The Lord of Woodsdam,” a deep voice startles you as boots approach from behind, “is that what I heard?” 

You stiffen up as the ladies before you hush and blink, almost in tandem. They curtsey as their faces wash over in shock and you turn to face the newcomer. A man in a deep blue vest over black sleeves and grey breeches. He wears belt of gold and a circlet across his brow in a similar hue. It is that which betrays his statues. 

You lower your eyes and mimic the other women, mortified to be faced with new king so informally. You would not think him wandering out in the yard. Still, he has vowed to be unlike the former leige. That he would be of the people. 

“King Steven, your majesty,” the others titter in a messy chant and you murmur your own propriety as you back away. You find yourself still to the shoulder of the king as the other ladies give no room for you to join. 

The vision of him stains your mind. He is tall, with dark blond tresses that extend past his neck, and blue eyes which put his own attire to shame. He has a jaw which looks etched in stone and a bearing which matches his rank. He is tall and broad and a finely built knight. 

“It is an honour,” Marcia says most boldly. 

“You may rise,” he allows in a breezy timbre. “I did hear my wife would receive new ladies. Young ladies.” 

“Your majesty,” the murmur rolls across each lip. 

“It is much needed. We have so many established ladies at court and yet we need to think of the future. Of the next generation,” he declares as he emphasizes his words with his large hand. You watch his garnet ring to keep from so brazenly looking him in the face. 

“Certainly, your majesty,” Marcia and Marigold chime in unision. 

“And don’t worry for there are many young lords as well,” the king laughs galely at the quip which makes the ladies, yourself included, blush. “Ah, then, Woodsdam I believe we were speaking of...” 

You blink and glance at the other ladies. They are cowed, unsure if they were overheard in their derision. You hope as much as they that they were not. It is rather unflattering. 

“My father, Lord Eldon,” you explain, “your majesty.” 

“You? You are the young lady of Woodsdam I heard so much of.” 

“You did? Er, your majesty,” you curtsey apologetically; unnecessarily. 

“Certainly, I did. Your father was a great assistance in me holding counsel with the lower lords. He is very patient. “When not about his duty, he spoke of you oft. Though what matters are more important than family?” 

“Yes, your majesty,” you can’t help a smile, “my father is a very kind man.” 

“Kind and courageous. I’m certain you’ve inherited as much,” the king praises, “and these other ladies. The twins who belong to Mawsley, the Countess of Clovers daughter, and the three earls daughters from the White Plains.” 

The ladies each bow their heads as he proclaims them by their forebearers’ titles. You watch from aside, feeling even more out-of-place. The king recites them all proudly as he extends a finger for each. 

“Allow me myself to extend a welcome to Astra. When you are sorted, my wife shall receive you all and have you acquainted with the grounds. I hope you enjoy them, we’ve had the gardeners at work day and night,” he pronounces, “for now, I must be off, for a king has many obligations and not so much time.” 

He bows and turns on his heel, marching off with his shoulder straight and head high. He walks as a soldier does, not some lord. You’ve seen the difference before, more recently in the aftermath of battle. A soldier is more akin to a farmer, much as your father, whereas a Lord tends to keep his steps tight. 

“Wow, oh my,” Dorida fans herself, “he is rather handsome.” 

“Oh yes,” Marcia and Marigold say, the latter forging ahead, “we met him at our father’s castle. He is ever so charming.” 

“Hm, and the queen would love to hear it, I’m certain,” Calliope intones brusquely. 

“The queen is not here,” Ameri sneers, “so what does it matter? Besides, is it so wrong to state a truth?” 

“He is very elegant,” Selene agrees. 

“Much too kind, as well,” Marigold snips, “Woodsdam? He speaks as if it more than some paltry farmhouse.” 

“You’d never even heard of it,” Calliope remarks. 

“And how had you, hm? You seem the bookish type. Perhaps you should leave the maps to the men. What good will a river or road do for a widow’s welp?” 

“Needn’t be cruel,” Calliope rebuffs. 

“Pity if this is the lot they send,” Marcia shakes her head as the sisters share another cryptic look. 

You keep to yourself. That is all you can do. It is better to watch and learn than to leap and land wherever you might. Your mother always said so and she was your best teacher. 

“Right, there must be some maid who might show us to our rooms,” Marigold stands on her toes and waves at each passing servant. “I tire of the sunlight and boorish company.” 

👑

You have two trunks awaiting you in your chambers. Not as the other ladies who had at least a dozen each. Less humble than your lunger are the rooms themselves.

There is an antechamber hung with tapestries showing wildlife and flora, a table set for two and cushioned bench by the window. The bedroom is draped in similar hangings with a four-post bed and a grand hearth. A desk, another bench, a woven carpet, and fine accouterments on square tables. And a closet for the commode as well and a pot in the far corner of the bedchamber. 

If only your mother and father could see this. They would be just as amazed. You can’t help but admire all of it. To touch the curtains as you approach the window and stare off at the afternoon sky. The gardens are a medley of hues; petals and thorns; leaves and dirt. It’s all so wonderful, you can still hardly believe it. 

Seems those other ladies can’t either. You can’t help but think of their words anon. They said so outrightly what you doubted inwardly. You don’t belong here. It must be so clear to them. 

You lean on the ledge and peer down into the garden pathways. It is almost a labyrinth with how intricately they’ve laid out the hedges. You lower yourself down to your elbows and cross your arms as you sigh. 

Your eyes are drawn from the swaying roses to the dark speck that appears below. You squint at first. From the second floor, it is harder to discern. It is the glimmer of gold in his hair and the defined gait that gives away the king. For an instant, you believe you might be dreaming. 

He walks along one path and to the next. There is another with him. A man with darker hair and a stauncher figure. They speak and stop just as they enter a circled walkway centered by a large vase of flowers. The other man talks, though you can hear neither, and the king rubs his chin. 

You should turn away. They might think you an eavesdropper. Oh, too late! You don’t dare move as the king tilts his head. You wouldn’t want to pique his attention. You cannot tell if he has spotted you. Not until he raises a hand and waves. The other man stops and looks to follow the gesture. 

You stand up straight but before you can flee in horror, you recall yourself. It is improper to turn your back to the king. You lift your hand and return the wave. He dips his head and turns to clap his companion’s shoulder, pointing him onward. 

Oh, you hope he is not unhappy. If you pray, perhaps he will not have recognised you. You needn’t an enemy of the king as well. 

[hotvintagepoll]

Welcome to the HOT AND VINTAGE MOVIE STARS poll blog!

The Scrungly Little Guys (gender neutral) Contest will start THIS THURSDAY, September 26th. All contestants have now been processed and are ready to scrungle it up for your enjoyment. Reminder that this contest enshrines the weird, the off-putting, the comic, the character actor, and the strange cinema legend. If you need a reminder of what scrungle means, this picture is the golden standard.

All polls—including ongoing polls, previous rounds, old tournaments, the various shadow brackets, the Dracula Daily polls, and fun mini polls—can be found in the #hotvintagepoll tag. I am working on a more complete tagging system so people just here for the polls can navigate the blog more easily, but that's still in the works.

FAQs:

“Define scrungly?” For the purposes of this tournament, a contestant must noticeably present in some way as at least one of these: odd, bizarre, off-putting, disheveled, creeping, feral, small, filthy, silly, funny, kooky, comical, exhausted, or just plain strange. This contest presents a wide array of scrungly appeal, so not every contestant will hit every single one of these (but should, ideally, be a few of them). Scrungles were chosen based on how convincing their submitted propaganda was. This contest is all about oddball character actors, creeping henchmen, comic relief sidekicks—the side characters who never get the credit they deserve in proper rundowns of famous old movie actors.

"How do I decide who to vote for?" Vote on whoever seems scrungliest to you. Do not vote for someone based on hotness alone. The video propaganda, included under the cut, is highly encouraged for showcasing scrungles.

"Is this just like the hotness tournaments?" No. This contest is sillier.

"Hey! Some of these guys sucked and they shouldn't be here!" Yes, some of these guys sucked. I agree with you. For reasons I've gone into before, I don't exclude anyone from the contest for moral reasons, even if I personally think they were garbage. I do this because I cannot responsibly research and vet every competitor's background and legacy, and I'm not comfortable being the moral barometer for everyone, even in cases where I think it's really obvious. You are welcome to vote against people for moral reasons, but as mod I don’t post or boost negative propaganda about anyone.

If I see repetitive, trolling, or bigoted remarks in the comments, I will block you from this bracket. If you want to point out a competitor’s problematic aspects in the replies, that’s fine, but if I see bad-faith trolling, you will be blocked. I will also block if you start harassing other people voting on the polls. If you really hate that someone is winning, please post positive propaganda for their opponent instead.

I welcome additional propaganda for the scrungly little guys in reblogs or asks. I boost the best propaganda I see and try to boost equally for everyone. I don't accept propaganda that’s post-1970 or from non-film appearances. When sending your propaganda, please don't send me too many pics or videos at once (I max out at about four per ask.)

The views expressed in the propaganda are not my own. I don’t alter submissions beyond fixing obvious spelling mistakes. I do choose the poll pics, purposely trying to pick the silliest ones possible for this contest; if you think I could do even sillier, send me one I can use instead. If you think a contestant needs more propaganda, send me an ask with some and let me know if you'd like it added to the poll post if they make it to the next round.

“Who won the major hottie tournaments?” Eartha Kitt and Toshiro Mifune are the reigning hotness champions. They are both living it up by the pool in the sunshine, as far from the shadow realm as possible.

“The....the shadow realm?” All hotties who fail to continue in a hotness tournament are sent to the shadow realm, far below the crust of the earth where the sun never shines, a dark and dismal and gloomy place. (Boris Karloff keeps making everyone try his sherry-based guacamole.)

“Was [this famous person] submitted to any of the tournaments?” Try a tag search for them (ie, [#famous person name] in my search bar). If you still haven’t found your hottie, they either did not fit the criteria of working in movies from 1910-1970, weren't convincingly scrungly in their submission, or were not submitted at all.

“My FAQ isn’t on here :(” send me an ask! I love hearing from you guys—just please check these basics first.

Thank you for being here! Enjoy the polls.

Tournament schedule post-hiatus:

Ongoing: Dracula Daily casting polls

Starting September 26th: Scrungly Little Guys contest (gender neutral)

After that: Ultimate Hottie Tournament (top brackets of the hot men & hot women competing together)

TBD: Hottest On-Screen Couples (Astaire and Rogers, Bogie and Bacall, etc)

TBD: Horror Hotties (Frankensteins, Draculas, Brides, etc.)

TBD: Dandy Detectives (Marples, Sherlocks, Nancy Drews, etc.)

fun mini polls that pit sets of characters from the same movie together, like the Philadelphia Story or Seven Brides for Seven Brothers ones (these can be found in the #minis tag)

[pomrania]

On 24-25 February 2024 I'll be opening requests so you can get your cat drawn as a wizard. Full details, including how to make a request, are underneath the cut, as I don't want to clutter anyone's dash; but if you've been around for my previous cats-in-wizard-hats events, it's pretty much the same stuff this time.

For this event, I'm only accepting requests in the given time period, defined by "it's still that date somewhere in the world". Most things will be drawn and posted after that date.

Only one request per person; previous art events do NOT count against that limit. You don't have to worry about "taking away from other people who haven't gotten art already" or "giving me extra work".

To make a request, reblog this post with the cat photo you want me to work from. In the body of the post (not the tags), include the cat's name, and what kind of wizard they would be. If you have multiple cats, pick one, because I refuse to choose which cat to draw; likewise, if you have multiple pictures, I'd appreciate it if you specified which photo you want me to use (and the other photos are just for showing off your cat).

Once you've made a request, please don't delete it or make any major changes, as that just makes things harder on my end; I have a system for keeping track of things, so when "what's in your post" doesn't match with "what I recorded", that takes extra time and effort to figure out.

It doesn't have to be a cat you currently have; past pets, or the pets of friends or family, are allowed. The biggest thing is that it has to be a critter you have some form of connection with; I won't draw random pictures you just found online.

Non-cats are allowed, so long as you can explain why the critter is actually a cat.

[medievalandfantasymelee]

COME ONE, COME ALL to the MOSTE ILLUSTRIOUS TOURNAMENT of the FINEST, the MOSTE PUISSANT and HOTTEST MEN MEDIEVAL MEDIA HAS TO ITS CREDIT.

Our Noble and Worthy contenders have come from 128 Properties throughout the land and stand numbered at 296, out of some 400 submissions.

A complete list of our Noble and Worthy Contenders may be found here.

A summary of The Qualifying Round Matchups may be found here

THE TOURNEY IS UNDERWAY!!!!

Our contest began with a Qualifying Round, which consisted of 148 matchups. The Qualifying Round did not follow any kind of bracket or draw, however beginning with Round 1, every subsequent round will.

The First Round of Competition has commenced!

This round shall last seven days and consist of ten Tilts (polls) per day of competition posted at ten minute intervals beginning at 4:00 PM by the reckoning of Eastern Daylight Time.

A complete list of Matchups in this round may be found here, updating daily.

A masterpost with links to all rounds of the competition (current and previous) may be found HERE.

We have also completed voting for the first round of the Queen of Love and Beauty Mini Tournament. The Queen of Love and Beauty holds the honour of presenting unto the winner of the Tournament his Champion's coronet. It is a mini-bracket capped at 72 contenders. Polls for the Queen of Love and Beauty will be posted following the conclusion of each round of the Tournament proper until a Queen is chosen.

Oft Asked Questions

“Who is this ‘Master of Revels’?”: T’would be I, your servant. Humble host and facilitator of this fair contest.

“Isn’t this a medieval tournament? Why are there Tudors/Borgias here?”: The Medieval Period is generally agreed by historians to span the years AD. 500 to AD 1500. However, the Renaissance period is a little fuzzier. The Renaissance was not only a period of history, but a cultural movement that kicked in earlier in some places than in others. One looks at Cesare Borgia and can immediately identify him as belonging to the Italian Renaissance. However, you look at the span of his life and it does fall within the late 1400’s—so still what is commonly considered the Medieval period. The Renaissance was a period of transition, so clean cutoffs aren’t always easy to reconcile. Vestiges of Medieval sentiment persisted in England up to the reign of Henry VIII, and it’s for this reason I chose to stretch the definition of “Medieval” for the purposes of the tournament to include the period of Henry VIII’s reign (because English history is what I’m most familiar with.)

“Wait! My Medieval Hot Man isn’t here! Can I still submit him?”: First we advise you to check to make sure that your man isn’t here. It's linked above too, but here is a complete list of our 296 contenders. If he’s not there, then sadly he was not submitted and, as the Tourney is underway, he cannot be submitted now.

“Why is Blank here, he’s not medieval!/Why isn’t Blank here he is medieval!”: The definition of a “Medieval Man” for the purposes of our tournament is “Any male character in a piece of live action visual media in which the Primary Action takes place between the years of AD 500 and AD 1550 (or a Fantasy property that emulates that period).” We define Primary Action as “at least one half-hour of a film, or three episodes (or the equivalent time) of a TV series. (Unless it is an adventure-of-the-week style show in which one episode’s story is set in the medieval period, as in the case of Doctor Who: “The Robot of Sherwood”).

“I have propaganda I would like to submit – how should I do that?”: If you are submitting text propaganda or pictures, send us an Ask. If you have a YouTube video link, you can send that in Ask form also and we will embed the video in the answer. If you have gifsets, meta or other posts here on Tumblr that you think are good propaganda, tag us (@medievalandfantasymelee) and we will reblog it. If you send us links to the post in an ask, we will reblog the post you’ve linked and tag you (unless submitted anonymously), but the ask will be deleted, largely to keep the feed streamlined.

“What makes for good text propaganda?”: Simply tell us why you think your character is hot. You may praise his physical attributes, his chivalry (or villainy), personal qualities such as valour or intellect – anything that you feel exemplifies his hotness. Please do not submit fanfiction as text propaganda.

An addendum to the above: Please remember that we are voting for the characters not the actors, so propaganda about personality and personal qualities should be centred on the character, not on the actor (but you can praise the actor’s physical hotness in the role all you like). Accolades won by the actor for the role are welcome. Anecdotes about the actor’s portrayal are also welcome, but anecdotes about the actors’ lives that do not relate to their portrayal of the characters or work on the properties are not admissible propaganda. 

“What makes for good visual propaganda?”: Any picture/gif/video of the character that you think he looks especially hot in is good visual propaganda. Please do not copy and paste gifs off of tumblr unless you have the express permission of the original poster to do so. If there’s a gif or gifset here on tumblr that you want to send as propaganda, tag us in it (@medievalandfantasymelee) and we will reblog it. Please do not submit fan-art as propaganda (official paintings such as those done for vintage movie posters are acceptable, though).

“Can I submit counter-propaganda?”: We will not accept any propaganda that openly trashes a contestant or the actor that plays him. However, we do not discourage Comparative Propaganda – that is to say, propaganda weighing the qualities of a contender and his opponent against each other in a respectful manner.

“Why is HE here, he’s committed atrocities?!”: We are not here to judge the morality of a character, only his hotness. Whatever atrocities (and we mean “whatever” – side-glance at Ramsay Bolton) the character has committed do not prevent him from competing in the Tournament. If his crimes impact his hotness to you, then feel free to vote for his opponent (and if his opponent has committed atrocities as well, then, I guess feel free to skip that poll entirely.) If you think a contestant has committed atrocities but aren't absolutely certain, please don't talk about it in reblogs or in the comments on a poll, lest a hazy memory unfairly sway the voting public. (But atrocities you know for certain he's committed may be discussed freely - that's just an aspect of the character.)

“What is the Near Misses Pile/Tourney?”: The Near Misses Pile is what I’ve christened a small heap of characters who were submitted but who failed to qualify. The Near Misses Tourney was a mini-bracket held in the week leading up to the main tournament in which all 21 non-qualifiers were pitted against each other to determine who was the hottest reject. Kala Bhairava [Ram Charan] from Magadheera (2009) won that worthless honor.

“I have Hot Romans and Musketeers I’d like to see compete!”: Hold that thought. After the Hot Medieval and Fantasy Men Melee concludes, a new tournament will be held for another time period. Either we will host a Hot Men of Antiquity Tournament (which will accept male characters from any movie or TV show property set before AD 500), or a Hot Renaissance Men Tournament (which will accept men from any property set between AD 1480 and AD 1640. Which will be held first will be determined by popular vote. (In the meantime all ye Musketeer enthusiasts can get your fix over at @hotmusketeerspoll )

"Will there be a Hot Medieval Ladies Tournament?": It's unlikely in the foreseeable future, because we already have two full Men's tournaments planned following the conclusion of the Medieval Men Melee. (See above)

“My question isn’t here/I’m confused about something.”: Send me an ask!

All propaganda is submitted by the voters and does not necessarily reflect the opinions of The Master of Revels or The Hot Medieval & Fantasy Men Melee

ADDITIONAL NOTE: I do not choose the pictures featured in the propaganda sections, and I only use pictures submitted by voters. If you think that a contender you support is poorly represented, it is not my fault and it is up to you to change that. It is not my job to choose propaganda of any kind for the Contenders and I only work with what I have been given.

[upsidedownsmore]

ENTRIES CLOSED, reblogs turned off, thank you everyone for entering and sharing your wonderful works!!

A compilation of every entry piece can be found here!

The winner is @mugbearerscorner and the information has been confirmed in DMs!!

Roll proof:

A link to the full spreadsheet of entries can be found here!

I'm so so grateful to all the people who participated in this event!! I'm so happy with how well it turned out and I'm so so thankful to be able to host it!!! Love you all!! :) :) :)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

GAUSS PRIME ACCESS GIVEAWAY!

* Provided by Digital Extremes! Info about the prime access here.

To enter, simply reblog with your art of ANY warframe giving a thumbs up!

Giveaway entries will close on FEBRUARY 10TH at 10:00pm CST

The post for the above drawing (with reference screenshot and wips) can be found here.

MORE INFO UNDER THE READ LINE, PLEASE READ IT IF YOU WANT TO ENTER

Notes:

This is not a contest! The winner will be decided entirely randomly, image quality will have no effect on chances of winning! Make whatever you can in any medium you want! (This can also include 3D mediums! The only thing I'm not including is unedited game screenshots/captura, though edited might be okay). Everyone can draw regardless of how good you think your own skills are!

Please submit your own drawing(s)!! Only one is necessary but you can make more if you want of course! Do not use any AI generation tools for your entry.

When reblogging it might be a good idea to enter some text either in the post or in the tags! It turns out reblogs with just an image and nothing else might not show up under the original post, which means I might miss your submission!

Only one entry per person, you will not get more entries for additional reblogs and/or drawings.

The goal of this is for the community to have a fun little gallery of warframe thumb ups in the reblogs, but again don't stress over how "good" your drawing is! As long as you have fun and submit something vaguely in line with the prompt you're good! (such as a wave instead of a thumbs up or an operator instead of a warframe, etc. Up to you how closely you want to follow the prompt!)

You DO NOT need to engage with me in any other way (likes, follows, etc.) to enter, just a reblog with a drawing loosely following the prompt!

This giveaway will only run here on Tumblr due to issues with bots and impersonation on Twitter. The issue of course is that the only way to submit images under a single post on Tumblr is through reblogs, but please know that I do not intend this to be a means of promotion. If people could submit images in the replies I would gladly take that option! If this post gets taken down I will look into other giveaway options.

As this is my first giveaway as a Warframe creator please let me know if I've made any mistakes!

Here are some example drawings that would all work, but of course whatever you want to make shouldn't be limited to this!

Inspired by @ritens, I will be assigning one unique number per individual and then throwing them into the random number generator on random.org. After the entries close and I roll the winner, I will update this post with the winner's name and a message saying that the giveaway is closed. Reblogs will also be turned off once the giveaway is closed, as I am only using reblogs as means of congregating drawing submissions under one post during the giveaway period.

Whoever's number get's chosen will be contacted via DMs here on Tumblr, so please make sure your DMs are open! I will be asking for your Warframe IGN and platform so DE can give send over your prize! If you have cross-save linked or merged then please tell me, though I will also be asking in DMs as well. If the winner doesn't respond within 48 hours or no longer wants the prime access pack, then I will roll a new winner with the same method but with the previous winner(s) number(s) taken out of the pool.

Topmost drawing without giveaway text:

Anyways good luck and most importantly have fun!!

[doodlebeeberry]

It's that time of year folks!!!

Very very excited to host the gift exchange once again! Past two years have been a ton of fun, so lets hope the third is even better!

if you wanna join, just reblog/reply to this post or dm me with what you'd like. full rules, dates, and details are under the cut, please read those fully first before joining!!! :]

Entries close midnight (est) November 27th!!

For the uninitiated, the osc gift exchange is exactly what it sounds like! you let me know via reblog/reply/dm what you'd like as part of your gift--whether that's a certain show, character, ship, oc, anything! Then, you'll be randomly assigned a giftee and will make a gift based on their request. Finally, once the day comes, you post your gift and @ the person its for!

the timeline looks like this:

Nov. 11-27: enter by letting me know what you'd like! as with previous years, I ask that you keep your gift requests sfw, and to please send me references for any ocs you may want as part of your gift. As well, if there's anything you cant do (ie, a character or paring that makes you uncomfortable) please let me know when you join!

Dec. 1: I'll let you know who you've been assigned! please be sure you have dms (or at the very least asks) open for this bit!

Dec. 1-30: Make your gift! this can be anything from art to writing to music to needlepoint--so long as you include the giftee's request, the possibilities are endless!

Dec. 31: post your gift, and be sure to @ who its for in the post! Please do not post your gift before this date!!! if for whatever reason this date does not work for you please let me know and we'll work something out!!

Assorted other things to note:

please make sure your gift requests are osc/ object show related! if you dont know what that is then this likely isnt the gift exchange for you lol

you dont have to do everything your giftee requests if you dont wanna. If they give you a list of 20 characters, you can pick 1, 5, 10, all 20, the choice is up to you!

if you need to drop out for any reason please let me know as soon as possible so I can reassign your giftee

not a hard and fast rule but if you could shoot me a message when you get your giftee letting me know you saw the message, itd be much appreciated!!!

you can not join anonymously! It wouldnt be fair to your giftee, in my mind, if you did :]

on a related note, while i try to make the exchange as open to everyone as possible, if i deem it necessary i can and will bar you from participating if your inclusion would be detrimental to other giftees. while i dont anticipate needing to do so (so there isnt really a reason for you to worry about it) this was an issue last year. In the very unlikely event that I dont let you join, please dont yell at me about it. just accept it and move on.

as per usual, ill be using the tag #osc gift exchange for the event, so feel free to tag your posts so i can find them! :D

And that's it! if youve got any other questions or comments, feel free to ask and ill do my best to answer them! Thank you! ^-^

[newtlesbian]

✨LIST NUMBER FIVE✨

please keep circulating previous lists but there are many more people messaging me still so please circulate this list. read these names they are all new. read their stories and contribute some cash to help them

take a break from scrolling the trending tags especially about elections and help these human beings who are suffering

i urge you to reblog this and their pinned posts. but also they need money for daily necessities, medical treatments, and to find safety

CLICK FOR PART ONE

CLICK FOR PART TWO

CLICK FOR PART THREE

CLICK FOR PART FOUR

check back for more parts

(OLD LIST 1)🕊️🕊️🕊️(OLD LIST 2)

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1. URGENT jehad aldahdooh is supporting a family of 8 people including young children after they have all lost their home do to bombing and displacement. please send help to them now they are far from their goal.

@jehad-aldahdooh on here. please reblog the posts

LOW. 432 out of 50k

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2. URGENT mohamed abu zour is a father supporting 3 young children and his wife is currently pregnant. they really need help right now for basic necessities, medical care, and to find safety

@dinafamily on here. please reblog their posts

LOW. 2355 out of 60k

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3. URGENT saeed is only 19 and supporting his family of 9 people. we know it is so expensive per person to be allowed to travel to safety. please help them reach the goal they need 5k per person and they need to get daily necessities.

@saeid19 on here. please reblog their links

LOW. 155 out of 50k

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4. URGENT aahed al anqar is a father of 3 very young daughters ages 9, 6, and 1 years old and is supporting them alongside his wife maisoon. they need your support right now to provide for their children in these horrible and dangerous conditions

@fatimaimannor on here. please reblog their posts

LOW. only 5k out of 40k

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5. URGENT ahmed al-nabih is supporting a very large family and needs help to meet a high goal so every member can find safety together. he is married and has 3 brothers and 4 sisters to support with this link. they have lost so much please help them save their family

@ahmedalnabih17 on here. please reblog their posts

LOW. only 796 out of 60k

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6. URGENT abdullah is only 17 years old and has already lost her father and home. she is supporting her family including even younger siblings in violent dangerous conditions from bombing, hunger, weather, and disease. please help them

@aboodalashi on here. please reblog their posts

low. 300 out of 50k

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7. URGENT. sami helles is only 19 years old and a student supporting 8 members in the family including 5 even younger brothers. sami is no longer able to pursue education and lives in hazardous conditions. please help this family now as only i have donated so far

@samihellis on here. please reblog their posts

LOW. only i have donated so far

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8. URGENT hazem shawish is supporting a large family and needs your help to keep them alive. he has 4 brothers, 2 sisters, their mother, and their 3 kids. all these people are in direct danger and need help to stay together and find safety

@hazemsfamily on here. please reblog their posts

NEARLY HALF 18k out of 50k

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9. URGENT ahmed motaz salem aldani is only 13 and struggling with the growth of his teeth and hair because of birthdefects caused by israeli phosphorus bombs near his pregnant mother. assist this family find safety and dental treatment to help his health

@ahmedaldanigg on here. please reblog their posts

LOW. 2k out of 50k

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10. URGENT ghazi alamoudi is 25 and an instructional designer. his workplace and home has been destroyed and now he is supporting 7 family members which becomes very costly. please help right now to save them from more suffering

@alamoudi-ghazi on here. please reblog their posts

LOW. 2k out of 10k

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[st4rtar0t]

Tarot Event 🌕🍂

Hello! I am holding another event as I have answered all of the asks of my previous one. If you would like to book a reading with me you can DM me. Now let's get back to the topic. You will have to follow some rules if you don't , I won't answer your ask.

Rules :

One question per person

Must be a follower

Like and Reblog this post and my paid services post WITH TAGS

Share your question with your zodiac and initials

Be nice and respectful

[notetaeker]

RAMADAN CHALLENGE 2024:

Welcome to this years Ramadan Challenge! This is something I've been doing for the past 3 years and it has been so beneficial to me so I hope it is the same for you. Everyone is welcome to join! Please also let me know if u have any suggestions / notice any mistakes ;_;

Special thank you to @nuuralshams 💕 and @laikastudies ✨

RULES:

Reblog this post to let me know you're in! (and to have as reference)

Pls use the tag '#RamadanChallenge2024'

I will be rb-ing every post I see in there (unless it's spam bots)

You can do a question per day or batch them together if you like

You can also do some questions out of order if you want (like answering the surah kahf question on a friday)

Feel free to skip any question or just post abt how ur ramadan went that day / what you ate for iftar / anything tbh

You are also welcome to start late (or early! If you want to use some of the questions as a countdown to Ramadan!)

I also included some Ramadan Prep questions + Eid post if you'd like! ( Very optional!)

I will be starting the challenge when I personally start Ramadan but if Ramadan starts a day earlier for you- you can just start then!

I added a bonus day in case Ramadan is 30 days lol but you can skip it if you want if Ramadan is only 29 days

I will try my best to queue your posts but knowing me I might just mass-reblog 🤡

Anyway Allahumma Balighna Ramadan!!! / Ramadan Mubarak !!!! (based on when you're reading this)

Let me know! If you want to be tagged / reminded when we start!

PREP QUESTIONS (Optional):

Prep day 1: One thing you're looking forward to this Ramadan

Prep day 2: Anything you are scared of / worried about for this year?

Prep day 3: List one thing that would help future-you get the most out of this Ramadan, and go do it now! (if possible)

RAMADAN QUESTIONS:

Day 1: What are your goals this Ramadan? Possible suggestions: 1 habit to build, 1 habit to break, and one accomplishment you hope to gain!

Day 2: What are your other obligations this month? How does it compare to previous years? How do you balance them with ramadan?

Day 3: What is your favorite act of worship? Has it always been your favorite?

Day 4: Ramadan is the month of the qur'an. What is an ayah from the Qur'an that has changed your view of things or impacted you deeply (this year)?

Day 5: Share a treasured ramadan memory

Day 6: Biggest life lesson or advice you would give to others

Day 7: Best iftar item?

Day 8: What is a suhoor necessity to get you through the day?

Day 9: Share a hadith you’ve been thinking about recently or try this link that gives you a random hadith. How does it relate to you? (Does it?)

Day 10: First 10 days end today! Share a taraweeh tip! If you haven't prayed Taraweeh before, what is something that feels difficult about it?

Day 11: How has your experience of Ramadan changed over the years (Has it?)

Day 12: Most challenging thing about Ramadan and how do you try to overcome it?

Day 13: What aspects of the qur'anic science have you explored, and how did that go? (e.g tafsir, translation, memorization, tajweed, recitation)

Day 14: Favorite lesson(s) from the surah kahf stories?

Day 15: Any islamic lecture series / podcast / book that you would recommend?

Day 16: Favorite time to read qur'an during Ramadan? What about outside of Ramadan?

Day 17: What is your Ramadan Routine this year?

Day 18: the second 10 days is almost over! Are you part of any islamic communities during Ramadan? What about outside of Ramadan?

Day 19: What is something you are grateful for this Ramadan?

Day 20: Have you ever done i'tikaf or qiyamul-layl in previous Ramadans? Are you doing any this time?

Day 21: Any feel-good dua acceptance stories to share? It could be your own story, a friend's, or even from a lecture that you heard

Day 22: What is something you always miss about Ramadan when it's over? / What do you think you might miss this year?

Day 23: Are you making dua for anything specific? (Any dua you want us to make for you?)

Day 24: Share an Eid memory that sticks out to you! What kind of Eid traditions do you have?

Day 25: Who is a sahaba (companion of the prophet ﷺ) that you feel inspired by? Can you share the story that inspires you?

Day 26: Your Laylatul-Qadr worship routine! Dhikr? Dua? Salah? Tell us!

Day 27: Mention a favorite story about the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, or which of his qualities you look up to the most.

Day 28: Think over the last month and the Ramadan that you've spent. Is there something you wish you had spent more time on? There's still 1-2 days left! What's your plan?

Day 29: Ramadan is our honorable yearly guest who is now preparing to leave 💔 What are 3 gifts Ramadan is leaving for you as a parting gift until we meet it again (inshallah) next year. It could be habits

Day 30 / BONUS DAY: If you were given an extra day to live, what would you do on that day?

EID: Eid Mubarak! Post a 3x3 or a 3x2 photoset of your eid celebrations! (Optional)

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Winter's King 14

No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as noncon/dubcon, cheating, violence, and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: You are a maid to the Duke of Debray, a lord of the Summer Kingdom. That is, until the king of Winter appears with his particular air of coldness. (Medieval AU)

Characters: Geralt of Rivia

Note: Another work week :(

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me.

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Please do not just put ‘more’. I will block you.

I love you all immensely. Take care. 💖

Not long after the king’s departure, Lord Jaskier excuses himself to see to his horse. Queen Jazlene sends him off with a similar quip about serious matters. You don’t quite understand her. She should be concerned with the weeks of travel ahead of her, not only of the time, but of the climate. 

She finishes the bottle on her own. Much of it went to her cup. You think of warning her but it isn’t your place. You can only watch her head wobble as that hazy look softens her features. On her last gulp, a droplet trickles down her chin. You suspect she might be as unhappy as her husband claimed of himself the previous night. They make a rather sad pairing. 

It’s early still. Perhaps once they are settled, it won’t be so tense. They will have a chance to know each other better without the stresses of a war or the road ahead. 

Your thoughts stray and your vision fogs as you stare at a blue tapestry. Jazlene continues to babble and suddenly, the clink of her cup jolts you from your trance. You look at her as she slumps against the table. Her shoulders are slack, her arms bent around her head as it droops onto the wood. You can see her breath as she hunches weakly in her chair. 

“Your highness?” You call to her. You sway on your feet as you watch her. Come on, move. “Your highness?” You take a step toward her, “Lady Jazlene?” 

She groans and slips to the side. You rush around without a thought to catch her. She garbles drunkenly as you hold her in her arms, one leg still on the seat as her other hangs limply. She’s heavier than you would expect. 

“Your highness?” You squeak as you struggle to keep her off the ground. You can’t drop the queen. 

Her head lolls as her lashes flutter. She is certainly not conscious. The acrid scent of wine rises from her lips. You try to hike her higher, slinging her arm around your shoulder as you grunt. She’s not that big, you’re just weak. You can carry a cask or a chest, but a person is a much different matter. 

You wrap your arms around her and haul her around the table. Her slippers drag and you clatter into the chairs and nearly trip on the edge of the rug. Your leg muscles thrum with the effort and your back racks. You look around. The bedchamber is too far. 

You turn and little by little, step by step, drag her to the couch. Her feet loudly scrape across the floor. You angle her around with another laboured grunt and as you do, the hinges whine and the left door opens. You look up as the king enters and your lips part in surprise. You’ve been caught. Rather, the queen has. 

He stares at you and eases shut the door. He comes around as your arms quake. He wordlessly takes his wife from your grasp and lays her across the sofa. You put a pillow under her head and back up, rubbing your upper arms. 

“Your highness, she was not feeling well,” you say. 

“She has drunk herself into a stupor,” he snarls as he backs up, crossing his arms as he glares down at her. “Do not lie, especially on her behalf. It does not become you.” 

“Your highness, I apologise. I only worry for her--” 

“You shouldn’t,” he intones, “she doesn’t worry for you. Or me. Or anyone but herself.” He turns and goes to the table. He rights the overturned cup and you reproach yourself for not doing so first. “But I do appreciate you attending to her. I’d rather not have found her upon the floor.” 

“Your highness,” you bow your head. 

He’s quiet. You’re unsure what to do next. Should you leave him with Jazlene or stay to tend to her? He will need sleep for the ride. 

“Little maid, you will send to have a bath drawn. There will be little chance to wash upon the road,” he commands. 

“As you wish, your highness.” 

“Mm, if only,” he murmurs as she sits and grabs the empty bottle, sneering at its hollowness. 

You set off to have water brought to his chamber. You assist the other servants in carrying the vessels of steaming water. All the while, the king ruminates at the table. He picks at his index finger and his cheek ticks. When at last the tub is full, you go to trail out after the castle servants. 

“Little maid, I require assistance,” he says. 

You remain and the doors close in the tension. You watch the king, your fingers twined together as you cautiously approach. He glowers at his fingers and huffs. 

“You have small hands,” he rests his palm open on the table, “please, I would have use of them.” 

Curious, you move towards him. He turns to you and holds out his large hand. He pokes his index fingers up and hisses. 

“I got it on the door. A splinter,” he explains. 

You see the dark spot, just the minuscule tip of it poking above his rough skin. The skin around it is inflamed, both from the sliver and his fussing. You bring your hands to cradle his single one and lean to have a closer look. You keep one hand under his and slip the other down the side of his palm. 

You brush your fingertips over the lines of his knuckles. He’s quiet as he lets you gently squeeze. You glance up beneath your lashes. 

“It might hurt, your highness. Apologies.” 

His cheek twitches, “I’ve had worse than a maid’s touch.” 

You squeeze until his flesh his taut. You pinch the tip of the splinter with your other fingers, using your nails to get a grip of it. You pull slowly. Very slowly, terrified of losing hold and having it go deeper. The wooden sliver slides out and before you can examine it, it falls to the floor, disappearing into the fabric of the rug. 

The king sighs, “better.” He brings his other hand over yours and covers your small ones with his, “many thanks, little maid.” 

He lets you go, his calloused skin brushing your sleeves, and he hums grimly. He bends his head forward and his white waves shift on his shoulders. He pushes his hair back and raises his head again. His eyes almost glow as he looks at you. 

“I should fetch some water for the queen in case she stirs--” 

“Later,” he dismisses, “might I ask another favour of such delicate hands?” 

You dip your chin down, “I serve you and the queen, your highness.” 

“Mm, yes, you recall, the knot in my shoulder, where I carry my sword,” he points along his shoulder, “if it isn’t trouble, I might have you loosen it before I must ride anon.” 

“Your highness,” you acquiesce, curling your fingers into your palms. You remember that first night you met him, as he sat in the steaming tub and had you touch him. You sweat at the memory. 

“It would be best before I soak,” he reaches to untie the laces of his tunic. 

You watch him, helpless. As with the queen, you can only heed his whims. At least he is gentler in his mastery. He pulls his tunic above his head and strips it away completely. He lets it hang over one leg and squares his shoulders as he sits back in the chair. 

You go around him and he moves his hair to his other shoulder. Your hands tremble slightly before you touch him. His muscles are thick and his skin taught across everyone. His arms are rounded with bulk and his neck is bullish in girth. He carries so much strength and power as if it is nothing. 

You squeeze the muscles gently with one hand, pressing the other behind it. You knead carefully, gradually putting more behind it, responding to the soft breaths and low grunts rising from the king. You hit a spot with some resistance and he growls. 

“There,” he grits as he drops his head forward. “Harder.” 

You push your thumb against the little pearl of tension you feel along his shoulder. He exhales deeply and lets out a wolfish snarl. He grips his thigh as you work his flesh. Your hands move without much thought. Lady Rezlyn often requested to have her feet done, a much less ideal task. 

“Mm, treasure...” he breathes though his words aren’t entirely clear. 

Another noise rises from him, sharper than before. You stop, frightened. 

“Your highness, have I hurt you?” You utter. 

Before you can retract your hand, he has a hold of you. He lifts his head and hangs it back, his hair spilling down. He looks up at you with his bright eyes as he clings to your hand. He presses it flat and moves it over his shoulder. He drags it down against his chest where you can feel his heartbeat. 

You’re caught in his gaze and his grasp. You just stand there, entranced by his golden irises. Each time you see them, they are more brilliant than the last. Your own chest tightens and binds up your breath. 

“You can never hurt me,” he rasps. You gulp as he lightens his hold and pets your hand. He closes his eyes and winces. “Little maid...” he sits forward and gently moves your hand away from his chest, “you must go now. You must face the road with us and you will require rest.” He lets you go completely and stands. “I trust my wife will have many a demand to keep you busy.” 

“Yes, your highness,” you murmur. 

“Now,” he insists. “You must go now.” 

He crosses the chamber and stops in the door to his bedchamber. You quickly flit over to the doors that lead out to the corridor. You pause and glance over as you sense him move. He stares at you, his eyes licking with flames. His chest rises and falls, trimmed in thick hair that trails down his hard stomach. 

“Go...” 

You obey and heave open the door. The soldiers on the other side snort. It is late, they must’ve dozed. You don’t think much of that as you harry down the corridor, not looking back. The king’s timber nips at your ears. The way he spoke; ‘go’. It was more than just a word; it was a warning. 

⚔️

You rise with the castle, quickly falling into the tumult of the impending departure. When you arrive at the king’s chambers that morning, you are sent away. You find Jazlene in her own. He must have taken her back before the sun. 

She is groggy and sombre as you help her dress. The pain in her skull leaks out in pathetic moans. You offer her lemons water and a cool cloth for her head. You see the difference as she accepts but she remains weak. It will be difficult for her to ride. 

Horses fill the courtyard and the luggage carts crowd around the stables and rear of the castle. The scene reminds you of Debray. You only hope Queen Jazlene does not cause a similar scene. You don’t believe she can. 

You accompany her to the front of the train. The king is not there. The queen clutches her throat as if she might be sick as the smell of the horses is stirred by their whipping tails. She grumbles and calls for a water skin. You find one and she shooes you away. 

“Enough of you,” she snips.  

You stay close, keeping watch should she signal for anything else. She can barely lift her head to do more than drink thirstily. Lords and ladies as good as ignore the queen as she mutters to her horse. 

“Eh, mouse, there y’are,” Bryce’s voice undercuts your pity. “I’ve been looking for ya.” 

You face him and the weight slips from your shoulders, “you have?” 

“What are you insinuating?” He challenges, “Daisy’s missing ya.” 

“Oh,” your brows raise, “well, it just so happens I miss her too.” 

“We’ll be off soon. You should come claim your place with the luggage.” 

“Should,” you agree. 

You follow him through the press of bodies. You get further down, away from the pages and soldiers, see Daisy lazily hoofing at the ground. She chews on a sparse bit of grass in the dust. As you near, you notice that her holster is thicker than it was. She is attached to a small cart. 

“What is this?” You ask as you stop short. 

“It’s yours, mouse,” Bryce says staunchly, “isn’t right you riding with the chests. Not for so far as we need to go.” 

“You... you did this for me?” You ask. "But... what about--” 

“Found a spare horse. He’s a bit less friendly than our beloved but he’ll do fine enough,” he explains, “’sides, Daisy needs a respite. She don’t needa be carrying around my hefty behind much longer.” 

“Oh, my,” you put your hand to your cheek and go to the cart, “Sir Bryce, you are a true knight.” 

“Don’t you get sappy with me,” he tuts as he follows. “Look inside, will ya?” 

You look inside the cart. There’s a long cushion and a pack. It’s a lot compared to what you came with; nothing. Bryce reaches in and tugs something from beneath the cushion. You watch the fur ripple out as he reveals the cloak. It’s thick and long and hooded. He holds it up. 

“When we get to the Hinterlands, you’ll be needing this,” he says. 

You touch the fur, it’s soft. You blink and feel it between your fingers. Your eyes sting. 

“Sir,” you bat your lashes, “it is too much for me.” 

“It isn’t very much, you are just too humble, mouse,” he folds and holds it out to you. “Now, don’t you be telling anyone this was my doin’. I got a reputation to uphold.” 

“Oh,” you clamp your lips shut as you try to hold back your emotion. 

A smile breaks through and you bare your teeth. Your cheeks hurt from the joy bursting forth. You hug the cloak and rock, looking around. As you do, you falter at a familiar face.  

The king leads a dark horse along the edge of the yard. He is looking at you, or so it seems. You let your expression slip and tamp down your glee. You bow your head in King Geralt’s direction. 

When you look up again, he is gone. 

[hotvintagepoll]

Welcome to the HOT AND VINTAGE MOVIE STARS tournament! We are now finished with the Hot & Vintage Men Tournament; The Hot & Vintage Movie Women Tournament is ongoing. Submissions for hot vintage women are now closed, but we are accepting propaganda for those already in the bracket.

Round 1 of the Hot & Vintage Women Tournament began with 540 hot women in prelims. Round 1 starts Saturday, March 2nd, with posts going up over several days. All polls—including ongoing polls, previous rounds, old tournaments, the various shadow brackets, and fun mini polls—can be found in the #hotvintagepoll tag. Every poll in the Hot & Vintage Women Tournament will be tagged with the hot woman in it if you need to search for a hot woman in particular.

FAQs:

“Where is [my favorite hot woman]?” It depends. Are all the Round 1 polls up yet? Have you checked all the polls in the tag? Have you done a tag search for her? If you still haven’t found her, either nobody submitted her or she did not fit the criteria of being a movie woman from 1910-1970.

“Can I still submit hot women?” No, the submission window has closed. Please do not send in women you wish had made it into the bracket. I can’t do anything with those asks and they just make me sad.

“I have additional propaganda for the hot women!” Great! Send me an ask or reblog the poll and add your propaganda to it. If you see a separate post that relates to your hot woman, like a fancam or a gifset, you can tag me in it. I don’t boost all the propaganda I see or receive, but I try to boost the best of the best.

If you’re submitting propaganda for your hot lady, I don’t accept propaganda that’s from beyond the end of this tournament’s era (ie don’t send me pics of them from before 1910 or after 1970). I also don’t accept propaganda of TV appearances unless it’s clearly a cameo where they’re playing themselves. If you have a TON of photos to submit, please send a few asks instead of one long one. I watch every video I receive so I can add trigger warnings, so please don't send long videos—I don't have time to review them.

I don’t post or boost negative propaganda about any hot woman. If you really hate that a certain hot woman is winning, send me positive propaganda for their hot opponent. If you think a hot woman shouldn’t even be included in the tournaments because of scummy things she did in her lifetime, please read my take on it here.

If I see repetitive, trolling, and/or bigoted remarks in the comments, I may block you from this bracket. If you want to point out a hot woman’s flaws or misdemeanors, that’s fine, but if I see consistent bad-faith trolling, you will be blocked.

The views expressed in the propaganda are not my own. I don’t submit my own propaganda, and I don’t change what’s submitted beyond fixing spelling mistakes. If you hate a poll bio or a pic, let me know and send me something I can use instead. Thoughtless bitching will get blocked.

"Where are the hot men?" Most of them are in the shadow realm! Toshiro Mifune was crowned the winner of the Hot & Vintage Men Tournament, and the rest were banished where the sun never shines. You can find all the round 1 matchups here (thank you @markwatnae!), or you can search the archive by tag to find out more about what happened to all the different hot men.

"Why didn't my propaganda make it into the poll post?" Either I couldn't open the link, or there was so much submitted I could only pick a few. Because this tournament is so much bigger than the Hot & Vintage Men one, I'm limiting propaganda to 5 pics per hot lady for Round 1. I know, a bummer! I have to do it this way to keep myself sane. If you have a photo you really want the world to see, follow the propaganda guidelines above.

“My FAQ isn’t on here :(” send me an ask! I love hearing from you guys—just please check these basics first.

Thank you for being here! Enjoy the tournament.

[bad-traffic-smp-ideas]

Welcome to Bad Traffic SMP Ideas, an experimental gimmick blog with a twist!

Hello! Instead of showcasing the many good ideas this community has come up with, this blog highlights all the "bad" ideas created with our beloved smps in mind.

I, the Head Watcher, will be your guide on this journey through the wonderfully horrific concepts I've collected for future traffic series smps. Enjoy your trip! ^^

[QnA + tag system + more below the cut!]

What is a "bad idea?"

It's whatever you want it to be! The "[blank] Life, but _" format works really well for series concepts as a whole, but "bad headcanons" are welcome too! Go wild, friends <3

"Someone already sent in my same idea! Can I submit it again?"

Sure!! Most of the time, I won't even realize it's been said before. This blog has been going for so long now and I have bigger priorities, I won't penalize you for sending in a "repeat" ask :)

(There is also the #additions tag for adding onto specific ideas, although it isn't used very consistently. If you would like your ask to be added to a previous post instead, just ask!)

"What does the queue look like for this blog?"

Currently, it posts once per day, and there's usually ~100 posts in the backlog waiting to be posted.

For complicated personal reasons (but mostly me being a busy uni student), that most likely won't be changing anytime soon. I don't get around to stocking this blog very often and I would rather have it be slow and consistent than have random bursts of activity then silence. I know this is frustrating for people, but this is my personal passion project, and I don't want to needlessly stress myself out over something I started for fun :)

"I sent in my idea two months ago! Where is it?!"

Probably still in the askbox! Very rarely do I actually delete asks, I promise I don't cherrypick the ideas I like and discard the rest. But since I know the wait is frustrating, this is my policy to deal with it:

If you've sent in an idea and it hasn't posted yet, you can send me an ask describing your idea and ask to have it moved up in the queue. You can also send in a separate ask when submitting an idea if you want to have it posted sooner rather than later.

(If your idea is connected to recent events in smps, etc it will most likely be moved up anyway so it posts while still "relevant," although this is somewhat limited to my familiarity with the event. It never hurts to ask!)

"Wait, this blog has a TV Tropes page?!"

APPARENTLY. I didn't make it, but I'm a HUGE fan of it, and it's probably more organized than my actual blog. Go check it out, I'm famous guys <3

Housekeeping + Rules:

Mostly common sense things + be a decent person, etc. This isn't a place for discourse, so please leave that elsewhere. There haven't been any serious issues, but if there ever are I'll create a more cohesive list of rules.

Admin Info:

You can call me Pho! I saw the @/badmccideas blog and got inspired to make this around the end of Last Life in November 2021. My main is @phosphorus-noodles :)

Currently, I'm the sole mod running this blog. This may change in the future, but please don't ask to join the team unless I ask for more help! This project is my baby, and I'm very protective over it ^^'

Tagging System:

#bad traffic idea - catch-all tag for bad ideas

#bad headcanon - specifically for headcanons, not concepts (not consistently used, so if you can't find a headcanon tagged with this it's probably under the previous tag)

#not a bad idea - anything that's not a bad idea (announcements, admin notes, reblogs, etc.)

#good idea - personal favorite submissions <3

#admin - posts from yours truly :)

#ask - ideas sent in via ask

#submission - ideas submitted

#reblog - anything reblogged

#additions - inconsistently used, but meant for building upon existing specific ideas

#life series predictions - used whenever there's a new season on the horizon to try to predict where apollo's dodgeball will fall

#blog lore - mostly for fun, not that serious or consistent lol, feel free to filter this tag or join in with the fun! :)

If you've made it to the end of this post, congrats! I love you <3

[gorillaheritageposts]

Spicing up gorillaheritageposts

As I mentioned in my previous post about the new update schedule,

I'm tossing around ideas on how to make the blog more engaging between those updates.

Here are the ideas I've got so far:

1) Polls

ex: "Which zoo has your favorite gorilla habitat?"

2) Ask games

ex: "Send me an outfit and I'll doodle a gorilla wearing it"

3) Show and tell threads

ex: "Reblog this post with your gorilla art"

4) Photo Fridays

I would upload 1-3 interesting gorilla photos each Friday, or maybe just the first Friday of every month.

*Note: these types of posts would be infrequent (no more than once per week, during periods of inactivity) and would also be tagged for filtering purposes.

Feel free to give feedback in the replies. Thanks for reading!

[sbeep]

Hi @staff, hi @wip ! Please renable the feature that directly links a previous reblog to its corresponding post on that users blog, I like to read tags and I use this feature MANY times per day, its how I find new people on tumblr. This is a blogging platform, cheers 👍

In case anyone isn’t sure what I mean, even in the post notes now, where it should link to my version of the post (/post/xxxx000xxx00), it goes to my blog home.

The responses to my complaint ticket unhelpfully stated “this isn’t supported right now”. kek.