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jasntodds · 3 months ago

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Penance [7]

Pairing: Jason Todd x Fem!Powered!Reader

Words: 8,230

Chapter Warnings: Swearing, fluff, mentions of death, hurt/comfort, mentions of scars, small description of jason's autopsy scar, smut, 18+ mdni

Summary: ❝Thesus: Stop. Give me your hand. I am your friend. Herakles: I fear to stain your clothes with blood. Thesus: Stain them. I don’t care.❞

It’s been a month and a half since Crane’s reign of terror was stopped, leaving Gotham to finally return to normal. But, what is normal? After everything Jason and you have been through, it seems normal might be some unobtainable dream state. But that’s not going to stop either of you from trying and maybe, you’ll get lucky in the end. At the end of it, the two of you have suffered enough, right?

Right?

A/N: It was my birthday a few weeks ago and 2 days later I was in the ER with a bad kidney infection so that's why this is late lol I'm sorry!! lol You can add yourself to the tag list below, ask me to be tagged, or you can follow my library blog @jasntoddslibrary and turn on notifications if you prefer that!! I love feedback, I swear it keeps me posting on a weekly basis 😭

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Jason and you patrol together and it feels like old times. You work well together just as you always have and it’s something the both of you really needed. Patrolling with Tim was different because you had to and you couldn’t really do it how you were used to because it was about training Tim and showing him the ropes. But this? This is like it always was, fighting side by side, teaming up and taking turns interrogating people. You stop at Excellent Gotham halfway through and park yourselves by Jason’s favorite gargoyle to eat.

You think tonight is healing parts of you. You felt hopeless before and now you're sitting here with your favorite person as if nothing has really changed. Maybe you don’t need to punish yourself all of the time and maybe this can be good. Maybe you can let yourself heal from everything. If Jason can, don’t you deserve to try?

“Wasn’t too boring tonight, was it?” Jason quips, the both of you back in your street clothes as you stand outside of your apartment building, Jason having rode home with you to make sure you got home safe.

“Eh.” You shrug. “It was alright I guess.” You scrunch your nose at him.

“Alright?!” Jason scoffs. “Bullshit. I’m a fucking trip.”

“You’re something.” You let out a cackle and Jason is relieved to see you look so happy. You looked lost earlier. “Can I ask you something?” You ask.

“What’s up?” Jason shifts his weight to his left leg, resting the helmet on his hip.

“When do you go see Leslie again?” You look down, tugging your sleeves over your hands before your eyes come up to Jason's.

Jason's brows raise slightly before he shrugs. “Uh…few days, why?”

“Can you, uh, a-ask her if she…ya know…maybe I need…to go.”

Jason nods his head with a warm smile. “Yeah, I’ll ask her and give her your number.”

“Thanks, Jay.” You give him a small and shy smile.

“Of course.” Jason smiles softly. “Hate fucking admitting it, but it’s been helping a bit again.”

“Good. I, uh, that’s why I wanna go. Might be for the best.”

“Good. Can’t hurt.” Jason nods his head.

“Yeah.” You smile softly. “Well, I’m gonna head in but thanks for tonight.”

“Do it again?” The corner of Jason's tugs into a hopeful smirk.

“Hell yeah.” You laugh softly. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” You beam before spinning on your heels and entering the apartment building.

A smile is stretched across your face as you make your way up the three flights of stairs to your apartment. No part of you believes going to see Leslie is going to be easy but if she’s helping Jason who literally died, surely she can help you. And it feels really good to finally feel like you and Jason might be falling back into some sort of normal after everything.

You enter your apartment, pressing your back against the door as it shuts behind you. The TV is playing quietly from the living room, the rest of the apartment is dark. You're so stuck on how well the night went, you almost miss the sound of Molly’s voice coming from your living room.

“Molly?” You question, pushing off the door and walking the few feet into the kitchen, looking into the living room thanks to the open concept layout.

Molly is leaning against the arm of the couch holding her phone against her thighs. A wide smile splits her face as Jurassic Park is playing on the TV. Molly is still rambling on about the first time she saw the movie, completely ignoring your presence. You roll your eyes and walk over to the back of the couch, looking at her phone screen.

“Hey.” Gar chimes.

Molly jumps. “When did you get back?” Molly ask.

“Just now?” You question. “Hey, Gar?” Your brows furrow, looking between the two of them.

Nothing going on, sure.

Molly looks at the time on her phone. “Did it go okay? You’re not mad are you?” Molly questions.

“What happened?” Gar asks.

You look between the two of them and maybe nothing is going on but from where you're standing, it definitely looks like it. You aren't even upset about it, but if something is going on, you think it's weird and confusing neither one of them would just say something but you aren't going to push. It's not really your business or your place. So, you decide, you're not even gonna say anything. You'll sit back and see what happens with them.

“Nothing?” You shake your head. “We patrolled together, grabbed some food, and came back.” You shrug your shoulders. “So, I’m gonna shower and head to bed.” You reach over the couch and steal a handful of popcorn from Molly’s bowl. You glance to the TV, watching the water in the cup on the dash of the Jeep start to vibrate. “You guys are missing the best part.” You state as you start walking away. “Get it together, guys.” You make your voice cheery, making sure they know you're joking and you can hear Molly laugh quietly as you enter your room.

You grab your change of clothes before heading to the bathroom and hopping in the shower. Music plays through the bathroom until it's interrupted by a ding from a text. You peek out of the shower just in time to see your phone screen still on with Jason’s contact on your screen. He’s texted you a quick ‘made it home’. You smile to yourself and continue washing your hair while your phone chimes again. This time when you look over, it’s a second text from Jason telling you you should just meet him at his place around noon and you can go to Home Depot together. You roll your eyes but your smile is glued to your lips while you finish your shower.

You take a seat on the toilet seat with a towel draped around your body. You pick up your phone while your stomach bubbles and twists.

You: What? Don’t trust my driving?

Jaybird: No ☠️

You: Fuck you 🔪

Jaybird: I’m really shaking in my boots babe

You: You suck

Jaybird: 🤤

You: 🤮

Jaybird: 🖕

You: Ill see you tomorrow I do like to be chauffeured around

Jaybird: How many times did it take autocorrect to get that word right?

Your jaw drops before you burst out laughing. He’s such an asshole but it did take more than a few tries to get that damn word right and he would know.

You: I will walk over to your apartment and fucking stab you so fucking help me jason todd

Jaybird: You’d have to catch me first babe

You: That a dare?

Jaybird: I dare you

You: Okay

You toss your phone and immediately start getting dressed in sweats. You don’t bother with makeup or anything else. You get the bathroom tidied up before you exit the bathroom, phone in hand before you go for your backpack. Molly is still peaking over the couch on her Facetime call with Gar.

“What’re you doing?” Molly asks.

“Going to stab Jason.” You answer casually while Molly looks to her phone at Gar.

“She’s doing what?”

“He dared me, Gar!” You yell but Molly and Gar can tell by the airiness in your voice it's really not that serious.

“He dared you to stab him?” Molly asks, unsure if she really heard you correctly or if she really wants to any sort of context.

You widen your eyes at her, nodding your head quickly. “Yeah! And I’m not gonna back down. It’s a dare.” You scoff with the furrow of your brows.

“Were they always this weird?” Molly asks Gar.

“Hey!” You yell.

“Yes.” Gar answers with a nod.

“Okay, I’ll be back!” You call with a smile as you kick your shoes on and head out, locking the three locks on your way out.

Jason prepares for you to get there, knowing you take dares seriously. He unlocks the door and shuts every light off in the place. If you want to come for him, he’s not going to make it easy. That ruins the game. It’s silly and he knows but at this point, he doesn’t want to miss even a single opportunity with you. Yes, he shouldn't have wasted a month and a half and neither should you but he’s thinking maybe that was for the best. It did give you both space to start to healing. It gave you both space to start setting up your own lives and finding out who you are today. It seems to have helped and there’s nothing saying you can’t continue while trying to get back what you once had. Optimism is not something that ever came easy to Jason Todd but he’s letting himself feel optimistic about you for just a second.

You pull up to Jason's place, seeing it’s completely dark. At first, it almost scares you, thinking maybe something happened and this is a trap. That would be something that could happen. But, that thought fades quickly because you don’t have that pit in your stomach and Jason would never have played along with anything to endanger you. This is Jason being a shit.

You dig in your bag and pull out your phone, using the flashlight as you enter the building, keeping light on your toes.

“Finally.” Jason's voice rings through the speaker system. “Usual rules?”

This was something you did at the Manor when Bruce was out. You blacked out the entire house, the only light would come from the moon outside. Other than that, it was just you two and a black house trying to locate each other. The only rules were not to permanently injure the other one -- don’t shove each other down the stairs and no lethal weapons. First person to disarm the other wins.

“You’re on, Jay.” You call as you shut your flashlight off, pocketing your phone.

You have your hands at your sides as they start to warm and glow a vibrant shade of green. Your steps are careful, using the glow to guide your feet. Back at the manor, you didn’t even need the light from your hands at one point. You had the whole place memorized from doing this with Jason which did kind of defeat some of the purpose of the blacking out the building but it served enough purpose. Plus, there are more stakes. It has the same premise as Dick’s whole thing with the blindfolds but this is more fun.

Jason is positioned at the end of the hall, carefully listening. He can see the glow of your hands which he said was cheating at first, until he realized he can also find you. He doesn’t need the glowing but it’s definitely not a bad thing to have on his end. So, he stands against the wall, watching and listening to you walk closer. His eyes track you, knowing you’ll search the full hallway before attempting the stairs. A part of him wants to dodge around you and essentially play a weird game of hide and seek but instead, he keeps his feet planted. The idea is to disarm, not to find.

Your hands stop glowing the further down the hallway you get. Jason's brows furrow, still listening to your footsteps. They echo softly no matter how light on your feet you try to be. If you know anything, it’s that Jason likes to play games. He’s going to make finding him easy the first time because that’s the point. And then you’ll have to spar it out until one of you backs off and runs off. He’s done this before so you keep walking with soft feet until you reach the end of the hallway. Jason is like a radiator. He could heat up an entire room if left there long enough so as you stand right in front of him, you can feel the space between you growing warmer.

You strike first, just missing his head as Jason grabs your arm. He spins you around as you kick your leg around his, sending you both to the ground. Jason falls on top of you, barely catching his weight on his hands to not crush you and you don’t miss a beat, crawling from under him only for Jason to grab your ankle and yank you back. Jason hears your laugh through a squeal.

“That’s a fucking ego boost.” Jason laughs with you.

“You’re not scary, sorry, Jay.” You tease, yanking your ankle free.

“Lotta people'd beg to differ." Jason defends as he hears you run off down the hallway.

“Not to me!” You sing-song, your voice echoing off the walls and staircase.

A smile stretches across Jason’s face as he shakes his head. He starts walking after you, not hearing your footsteps anymore and he knows you've hidden yourself behind some sort of corner so he’s careful with his steps.

A large part of him thought the good parts of him died and the pit kept them. It kept them in exchange for his life, maybe that’s just the price he was to pay in order to live. Someone can’t come back to life without sacrificing something. Look at Ra’s. But, over the last few days, he’s learning that may not have been in the case.

His bones still ache and something still feels hauntingly different but the good parts of him are still there. Tim didn’t even blink when Jason showed up in the alley, he was so unbothered by all of Jason’s training methods that even got you to pitch a fit every once in a while. Jason had a good time training Tim and him and you are back to doing this stupid game in the middle of the night with laughter bouncing off of the walls. He’s smiled more the last few days than he has in two months. Maybe the good parts of him aren’t entirely gone. They were just covered in guilt and remorse.

You're tucked away in a corner and you always wonder how Jason manages to be so silent as he walks. You can be quiet but you can’t even tell when he’s moving until it’s almost too late. It’s for his own protection, he’s been doing this longer, but it’s always fascinating to you and it'd be a little scary if you didn't know him. One second he’s down the hall and the next, he’s standing in front of you without ever making a sound. It’s his most intimidating quality.

But you're careful anyway, listening, focusing on your surroundings and then the hairs stand up on the back of your neck with a subtle throb starting to your right. You dodge just as Jason's fist flies through the air and you grab his arm, elbowing the inside of his arm. Jason lets out a groan and you twist it around before Jason laughs.

“It’s cute you think you still stand a chance.”

“I’ve taken you before.” You quip, holding his arm behind his back.

“You’re out of practice.” Jason chuckles, pulling his arm away before he spins back around, going to grab you but you jump back.

“So are you.” You quip.

“You sure?” Jason asks making you nearly scream. He’s right in front of you now and you didn’t feel him that time. His breath is fanning over your face and without needing to see him, you can tell he’s smirking, cheeks probably that pretty shade of pink.

“Uh-huh.” Your voice catches in your throat.

“Right.” Jason gives you this chuckle that makes you want to kiss the smirk off of his face but you know you can’t very well do that now so instead, you make your move.

You quickly slide to the right before kicking his feet from under him. Jason lands on a knee and he swipes his leg across the floor, knocking you down just as you try to run off. It’s Jason’s turn to get to his feet and find a new spot.

The two of you go back and forth like this and it’s different this time. Usually, you spar hard and you both make solid efforts to disarm the other but this time, you’re spending a lot of time hiding and running. It wasn’t so much intentional at first from either of you but the more you do it, the more you realize this is just more time to spend together. Tomorrow comes eventually and tomorrow always has some sort of surprise in it. Tonight, you don’t wanna worry about that. You spend your time in the dark, finding each other and going back forth with fists and quips.

Two hours in, Jason is hiding out on the landing of the first staircase, tucked away in the corner. The window is two feet away from him, the city lights cascading through the pains and onto the wood flooring. His eyes stay trained in front of him, hearing you from downstairs walking around. You've been looking for a few minutes and Jason is wondering if you’ll give up. And then he hears a smack and a groan from down the stairs. Jason has to stifle his own laugh, far nicer than you who burst out laughing when Jason hit the doorframe. You seem to recover okay, your steps picking up a few seconds later and he can hear you ascending the staircase.

Your steps stop right at the top.

You roll your eyes and you know damn well Jason is right behind the light of the window. He’ll be able to see you before you can see him. And if you know anything about him, you know he’s standing right in the corner, right foot lifted and pressed against the wall with his arms crossed and that stupid smirk on his lips. This game was never very fair from your perspective. You've never won. Jason’s senses have always been better, Bruce trained him well. As much as you hate the thought. You let out a sigh, take two steps forward and stand directly in the light, a taunt telling Jason to get it over with.

Jason pushes off the wall with his right foot and makes his move but he’s cautious. You do not give up, especially to him when there’s a game like this in play. He strikes first, you block him in an instant, using the light to drag him from the shadows and you get him with your knee right in his side. Jason doesn’t even flinch, throwing another hit, this time hitting you on your side. The two go back and forth, breathing turning heavy as you use the city lights to your advantage. But, it’s Jason who gets the upper hand as he almost always does, grabbing both of your wrists as you use one to try to punch him and the other to block his hands. His grip is tight and unwavering.

Jason’s chest is nearly touching yours as you look up at him. There’s a devious gleam you can make out even in the low light, the corners of his mouth perked into a subtle smirk. Your heart jumps into your throat.

“Giving up so quick?” Jason questions.

“No.” You let out a soft pout but you aren’t fighting him.

Jason can feel his heartbeat on his tongue. His grip loosens on your wrists but he doesn’t let go. Instead, his thumb rubs your skin softly, not even realizing he’s doing it. It’s been hours and he’s been having a blast and he knows she is, too. For the life of him, he can’t figure out why you both let time go by. He does know why, because it all hurt but maybe it was just getting over the hump of it all. He thinks it must be just as hard for you to overcome as it is for him. But, you both always seemed to be able to cope better around each other. It’s the understanding of every action and word that leaves your lips. The feeling that you’ll both never be alone.

Jason nods once. “Not trying very hard.” Jason whispers softly.

Last night felt so good and cathartic. Maybe you just want to live in another one of those moments for a few minutes.

“You’ll just tighten your grip.” You whisper back, watching a cheeky smirk grow on his lips.

“Doesn’t seem to bother you much.” Jason quips and his eyes glance to your lips.

What if he kisses you anyway? Just one more time. Then you can do this friend thing with the game and the banter. What if he kisses you anyway?

“No.” You answer back, glancing to his lips.

What if you kiss him? Just one more time and then you can do the whole friend like you did before. What if you kiss him?

“How’re you gonna get out of this then?” Jason quips.

Fuck it.

You lunge forward, your lips connecting with Jason’s. He groans and immediately drops your wrists as his hands come to your cheeks, pulling you closer to him. Jason melts right into you, nearly exploding at the seams with the very thought you were thinking the same thing he was.

His mouth moves with yours and you push forward until Jason’s back hits the wall. Jason grabs your hips, turning you both around so your back is pinned against the wall. He kisses down your neck, nipping and biting at the flesh. Your heartbeat skyrockets as your hand tangles into his messy hair. Your eyes are closed as a soft moan escapes your lips. Jason bites down, sucking a mark into your skin.

You pull his head back to your lips, the kiss turning sloppy and wet. Jason slides his hands under your thighs, picking you up to pin you against the wall as his knee slots into between your legs. His thigh hits just the right spot making you let out a moan into his mouth immediately followed by a groan.

You pull his hair back, getting a pretty groan from Jason before you go to his neck, leaving your own purple mark. Jason holds your hips helping you grind down against his thigh. The sound of your desperate gasps makes him want to lose his mind. He wants to surrender all control he has ever had and forget anything bad ever happened. His head is lust drunk and all he wants is you. His bulge is growing and throbbing through his sweatpants, desperately wanting free.

You feel yourself growing closer and wetter but more desperate. There’s not quite enough friction and he knows it. He knows this only ever gets you teetering on the edge but it’s never quite enough. He knows exactly what he’s doing and you want to bite him. Your pussy throbs and aches for something to fill you up.

“Jay.” You pant desperately into his mouth.

He fucking snickers.

And stills your hips.

“Jay.” Your brows pinch together as if you're in pain.

“What’s that?”Jason teases.

“Fuck. You.” You nod your head, trying to move your hips but his grip keeps you steady.

Jason leans forward, nipping up your neck making you whine. He can feel your pulse against his lips as he kisses his way up to your cheek. You feel him grin against your skin and you think your skin might set the both of you on fire.

“Say please.” Jason mocks you, whispering in your ear, his voice deep and graveled.

You think you've melted into the palms of his hands.

Jason loosens his grip slightly, allowing you to get some friction for just a few seconds before stilling your hips.

“Didn't hear ya, babe?” Jason’s eyes lock on yours with the quick raise of his brows, using all of his self-control not to cave himself.

There's a sliver of you that wants to push him, see who can actually outlast the other because you know it'll be him begging for you in about ten minutes. But, your head is swimming and your body is erupting in goosebumps. The desperation of wanting him all over you makes you lose every other thought that was once there.

You kiss him, keeping your lips close to his, pulling away just enough to speak. “Please.”

Jason doesn’t waste a single second to dropping his knee as his lips connect back with yours.

Jason pulls you with him, his back towards the second set of stairs as you both walk up them, unsteadily with your lips connected. Once you’re up the stairs, Jason is grabbing the hem of your hoodie, tugging it over you and tossing it on the floor. Jason’s hoodie is next, tossed somewhere in the dark hallway. By the time you reach Jason’s room, he’s tugging your top off and tossing it to the floor.

It’s all hasty and hot, desperate and needy as Jason pulls you to his bed. He lands on top of you, catching you to mind your fall and your hands are under his shirt. They’re warm and soft. They make him feel whole again.

The words ‘i need you’ circle his brain but never quite make it out. He needs you like he needs air. You're the breath of fresh air on the first day of spring. It’s the first day the air doesn’t hurt his lungs. You taste how the word cathartic sounds. He needs you like he needs the oxygen in his lungs.

You scratch up his back and Jason arches his back right into you. His head spins. His lips trail down to your cheek and then your neck. He leaves a second mark in his wake and your head falls fuzzy. You aren’t even entirely sure you're even here anymore. All you know is that you want him and your skin is on fire. You can’t form a single coherent thought as Jason makes his way down to your collarbone, leaving yet another mark. All you can think about his him. His mouth and his the way his teeth graze over your skin, how warm his hand is as it trails up to your breast. All you can think about is the pretty moans and groans that leave his lips as you claw his back again. You've turned to mush all over again.

He presses some kisses around where your braw cuts off, just enough to tease you before he comes back up, kissing your lips. And all you know for certain is how badly you need him. You need him today and tomorrow and every day after. Every moment with him is worth every bit of pain and agony. Every moment without him is boring and lackluster. Jason walks into a room and it’s like a color bomb explodes through the room. His laugh could light up the darkest of hallways and his eyes are the prettiest shade of green, they could convert anyway to love the color. Breathing is easier whenever he's around.

Your hands go to the hem of his shirt and try to tug it off of his head but Jason stops you, shooting up immediately. Your high immediately vanishes seeing the look of panic spread over his feature. Jason’s head comes back, still spinning but down in panic and his chest heaves. What’s he supposed to do?

“I-I’m sorry.” You shake your head, leaning up on your elbows. “I-, uh, I thought…well…I…I should have asked--”

“No.” Jason shakes his head, looking down then back to you. “It’s not…that.” Jason nearly chokes on his own words.

“What’s wrong, Jay?” Your brows tug together and even though you're the one half-naked, he’s the one feeling exposed.

Jason’s teeth grind together and he didn’t really think this far ahead. His mind was clouded with the thought of you and the desire to just have one more fucking night. His mind was clouded with the idea of chasing the feeling you shared just a few months ago. He didn’t think about this step. This part of the whole sex thing. You don’t care. You never care about scars but it hurts him.

Jason clears his throat as he brings his hands back to your hips, watching your chest quickly rise and fall with every breath. He's running through everything he could say. How is he supposed to tell you he has a thick, protruding scar from his collarbones all the way down his abdomen? That can't possibly be some sort of turn on and if anything, he's almost certain it'll send you into a spiral because it nearly does to him every damn day he looks at it. What's he supposed to say? What's he supposed to say without making you feel worse or feel like you need to push to make sure he's okay?

What's he supposed to say in order to keep this moment intact without it being just another moment tainted by painful memories?

“We can just keep doing this. Um…I-I don’t mind…if you don’t.” You try to pull in a breath. The guilt chews at your stomach. “I, uh, I don’t—“

“Y/n.” Jason cuts you off, not wanting you to spiral. “It's not that, I fucking swear.” Jason squeezes your hips and his brows twitch up with reassurance. He's just not sure if he's ready to reveal that part to you. It makes him feel guilty. He's supposed to be able to share everything with you but the shame eats at him. “I want to.” He clarifies, earning a nod from you. “It’s just…” His eyes go distant for a second before coming back to yours. “Stays on.”

You offer him a large nod and you thought it was odd he turned around before to change. Jason has never been very modest about anything ever. He has worked very hard for his chest and abs and he doesn’t mind showing off a bit, especially in front of you because he’s still a shithead. But, last night he didn’t and sitting here now, you're putting the pieces together while a piece of your heart breaks for him.

“I, uh…I know.” You nod softly, pushing yourself up to sit up fully.

Jason sits on his knees, his knees on either side of your legs.

You can't know.

“What?” Jason’s brows tug together.

“The night Crane kidnapped you, you, uh, you couldn’t get out of your gear so I had to help you.” You offer him a soft shrug. “So, uh…I just want you to know that I already know. It’s completely fine, I get it, but I wanted you to know that I already knew.”

Jason can feel his throat wanting to close and his world feels like it's closing in on him. It feels like a nightmare. He doesn't want you to know. It's embarrassing.

“You saw it?!” Jason’s voice cracks as his cheeks burn a vibrant red as he bites his own tongue to try and hide and his shame.

You nod again. “Yeah. You, uh, you were really high and I figured it would not be something you would want brought up.”

Jason shakes his head looking down. He feels tainted, ruined, a mess of broken and damaged pieces piled on the floor to be discarded and forgotten about. He's not even sure what's worse. The fact you knew and then never said anything or the fact he didn't even get a chance to make peace with it before he told you. He hates it so fucking much and it just makes him feel like the biggest failure there is. What more proof does anyone really need? He failed at being Robin, failed at taking down the Joker, failed at being a good son, failed at being a good boyfriend, he even failed at staying dead. It's just embarrassing and shameful.

You can see the gears in his head working overtime. He's going to spiral and the scar doesn't mean shit to you. Your entire back is riddled with them. Any one of those could have caused massive bleeding and killed you. The way you see it, his scars were better because most of them were just part of the job. He got them putting himself in danger for the greater good.

"I don't care, ya know?" You state with the raise of your brows and all Jason does is shake his head. "I don't fucking care about it, Jay. I know you do. Whatever the fuck you're thinking about it, you're wrong." You rest a hand on his cheek. "You don't have to take your shirt off around me if you don't want to. I get it."

"I fucking hate it." Jason states, taking your hand in his, his fingers delicate over your skin. He uses both hands to rub circles into your palm, massaging the muscles.

"For what it's worth," You let out a breath. "I don't. I don't care and I don't mind. That shit doesn't matter to me, Jay."

"I know." Jason nods his head because he knows you don't. It's something in his own head. It's just really difficult to move on from.

"So, whatever you wanna do, I don't mind." You offer him a tender smile.

Jason lets out a breath. “Thank you.” Jason says back. “Did you know? That Bruce had it done?”

“Yeah.” You pull in a breath, biting back your bitterness for Bruce. “He didn’t say why though I was screaming at him when I found out so he didn’t have much chance, I guess.”

Jason lets out a quiet but sad chuckle because even in death, you will fight tooth and nail for him. “You were screaming at him for it?”

“Well, yeah, I thought it was pointless. I figure it’s just legal reasons, maybe.” You shrug. “But I didn’t wanna hear it then.” You chuckle softly. “So, yeah, I uh, I knew he did and I knew the Pit didn’t take it away.”

It's something he's going to need to find a way to make terms with but at least, you're understanding about it. He wishes he had the opportunity to tell you himself but...he's thinking maybe this was easier. You've known and never batted an eye or said a word about it. Maybe he doesn't have to feel all that shame and embarrassment around you.

“White hair, kept all of my scars, and got the one my chest.” Jason lets out a scoff.

“Least it fixed your face.” You quip back with a cheeky smile in hopes it'll help cheer him up a bit.

You see the flash of something kind and cheeky cross over his face.

Jason drops your hand, leaning in. “What’s wrong with my face, huh?” The corner of his mouth perks into a grin and you always have a way to make him feel better about anything and everything.

Your name might as well be synonymous with catharsis.

“Did you want a list?” You raise with a smirk as you tilt your head to the right.

Jason lets out a laugh. “Fuck you.” Jason shakes his head at you and his eyes go to your lips before traveling back up to your eyes.

“Say please.” You lean in closer to him, brushing your nose against his.

Jason shakes his head, bursting at the seams with a devilish grin. His hand comes up to your cheek before he kisses you, pushing the both of you down to the bed.

“Please.” Jason nearly growls into your mouth.

Jason leans up and tugs his shirt off quickly before coming right back to your lips. Your hands tangle in his hair and give the strands a light tug. You push on his shoulder, signaling for him to roll over. You get on top before you trail down and press kisses to his cheek and then to his neck, leaving your second mark of the night.

The words ‘i love you’ bounce around Jason’s head like a pinball in a pinball machine. He’s so in love with you he thinks he might have lost all of his sanity. He did not know it was possible to feel so strongly for another person but he does. And he wants to live here forever. You make him better and he is so certain of that if not for everything that has happened but the reason that Jason doesn’t want to self-sabotage with you. It’s not worth it. You’ll fight and make up and it’ll have been for nothing. All it would do is hurt the both of you and haven’t you both been hurt enough?

You can feel Jason's hardening bulge beneath you. Without breaking the kiss, you slide your fingers into the waistband of his pants, helping him tug them down. Jason sits up, helping you get the rest of his clothes off before he flips the two of you so you're back on your back. You let out a laugh just as you always did and Jason thinks he'd never grow tired of it.

Your hands are in his hair and he can feel you smiling against his lips despite the haste of your kiss. Jason slides his hand under your back, undoing your bra before he helps you get off. His hand goes right to your right breast, pinching your nipple between his thumb and finger. You moan into his mouth as your head starts to go fuzzy all over again. You squirm under him and a grin comes to Jason's lips.

You snake your hand to his cock, wrapping your fingers around the shaft before you start pumping him slowly. Jason's mouth opens against you as his hips stutter for just a second. You start moving your arm faster and Jason's mouth trails back down to your neck. His teeth graze the skin and you think you'd let him mark every part of your body without ever putting a thought into it.

He sucks a mark into your neck.

And then another.

And another leading down the scar on your shoulder from the bullet wound.

He stops there, switching to a kiss and your stomach twists while your brain starts to turn to goo. He presses kisses back up to your lips and you're squirming under his touch as you can feel yourself growing wetter by the second.

"Condom." You mutter against his lips before removing your hand from his cock, precum leaking from the tip.

Jason wastes no time in reaching for his nightstand to tug out a condom. You're already stripping the rest of your clothes by the time Jason has the package in his hand.

Jason smirks down at you. "Not wasting any time, huh?"

You shrug, almost taunting him as you keep your eyes locked on his, careful not to look down at the scar. "Been a while."

Jason chuckles as heat runs over his neck. "Having withdrawal?"

"I could just do it myself." You quip back.

"Can I watch?" Jason questions and a part of you thinks he's serious.

You roll your eyes. "Maybe next time."

Jason has to clear his throat as his cock twitches with the remark. "Hold you to it." Jason mutters as he finally gets the wrapper open.

"Then I get to watch you."

Jason's eyes flash over to you as his stomach drops and spins. "Whatever you want, princess." Jason finally gets the condom on and you pull him back down to you.

His lips connect with yours, hot and fast at first, hungry as if he hasn't eaten in a month. His cock is lined up with your soaking pussy but the kiss slows and deepens. Jason's hand trails down your right thigh, delicate fingers running over your skin as goosebumps erupt over your body. You run a hand down his shoulder and to his arm, his bicep twitches under your touch.

Jason is warm and sturdy, an unwavering force that you find yourself so intertwined with, you really aren't sure how you've managed to live so much of your life without him. It always feels like he's meant to be around you like someone out there made him just for you and you were made just for him. In some ways, that's scary and feels like a big responsibility, but in others, it's comforting. It's the reassurance that it's just you and him in the end of it all. You'll get there one day. That's how it's supposed to be.

Jason pulls away, resting his forehead against yours before he starts sliding his cock into your aching pussy. The pit in your stomach grows as you start to see stars. Jason's eyes are shut and he's thinking he's left this whole plane of existence. He sinks into you slow and steady until he bottoms out.

His eyes open, locking on yours. Your fingers are lightly running up his arm and the words of 'i love you' almost spill from his lips like an overflowing cup of water. His nose brushes yours and he almost says it. He doesn't want to scare you away with piling too much on you at once. Last night and the scar tonight, he knows you're worried the Titans.

He'll tell you later.

Instead, Jason settles for something with the same meaning.

Your eyes close and the words of 'i love you' almost escape your lips like an easy breath. You brush your nose with his and you almost say it. Jason has been through a lot. You don't want to add to it, not right now. You don't want to add more pressure if he can't say it back yet. You don't want to scare him off.

You'll tell him later.

Instead, you settle for something with the same meaning.

"You and me." Jason whispers to you as he goes to kiss your cheek.

A tender smile pulls at your lips as your heart stutters in your chest. "You and me."

A smile rips through Jason's lips as his heart feels like it's just burst through his ribcage.

Jason pulls out and pushes back in, just as slow this time before he starts picking up the pace. Your mind starts swimming with his quick movements. His mouth is on yours again and you can barely keep up. Your mind is flooded with how full he's making you as your pussy clenches around him.

You try to form words, anything to tell him to keep going but nothing can form quite right, giving Jason the ego boost he doesn't exactly need. He gets the idea and doesn't lighten up. His hand grips your thigh, tugging your leg up near his hip. With the new angle, he's tapping the patch of nerves inside of you. You gasp against him, your nails digging into his back.

"J-Jay." You nearly whine into his mouth and Jason nearly finishes right there with the first word you're able to get out being his name.

"Hmm?" He hums, trying to hold his composure. "Gotta speak up, babe." Jason teases.

"H-harder." You get out.

Jason grins wickedly against your lips, doing as you asked but only for a few thrusts before he stops entirely. "Like that?"

Your eyes shoot open, pupils blow with desperation and lust. "Please."

You don't have to ask again.

Jason thrusts his hips harder and faster than before. You groan louder below him almost immediately. Your pussy is clenching around him more and more and he can tell you're getting close. He slides a hand between you, rubbing tight circles around your clit. You nearly scream with the new sensation.

You grip his hair and pull his neck closer to you just as Jason gets you to reach your high. You let out a mixed whine and moan of his name before you bite down where his shoulder meets his neck, desperately trying not to scream. Tears prick your eyes as your stomach tightens and your whole body shakes and twitches beneath Jason.

It takes everything in him not to lose himself until you're finally finished, panting below him. His hips stall against you as his head hangs in the cook of your neck, his cock twitching as he shoots his load into the condom.

Jason leans up, chest heaving and he places a kiss to your cheek and then your forehead before he rolls off of you to dispose of the condom in his bathroom.

You sit up, wrapping the blanket around you with your chest still heaving and you give Jason a tender smile as he walks back towards the bed. He grabs his clothes as you watch him and you're getting your first full view of the scar. It doesn't bother you but you understand why it bothers him. Seeing it in full, it's a harsh scar, not something that looks like it'll even fade. You think if it were you, it'd bother you, too.

Jason makes his way back to the bed, plopping back down before he leans against the pillow. His eyes are still lustblown as he gives you a soft and tired smile, and you think his eyes are filled with something you became so accustomed to. Your hand goes to his hair, brushing the white streaks away from his face. Jason’s hand grabs your hand before bringing your palm to his lips and he presses tender kisses over your hand.

“For the record,” You start as Jsaon places your hand back down. “I don’t care what scars you come home with.” You say so easily and your word choice doesn’t go unnoticed by Jason. “I know you do but I don’t…” You pause, chewing the inside of your cheek. “Just as long as you come home.” You nod a few times as your brows pinch together.

Jason sits up, his face coming just a few inches from yours. “I’m sorry I didn’t.” His voice is rough and this is a different apology than the one you got on the roof. The one you got at his safe house. There are no stakes in the apology.

“It’s not your fault.” You place a hand on his cheek and Jason leans into it. "I forgive you anyway, though."

He still wonders how you were ever able to bear it. Despite his general feeling of self-doubt and self-loathing, he knows your feelings have always been very real for him. You didn’t cope, that he knows for certain and he’s not entirely sure if you ever will. It’s something you have to make peace with just as much as he does. And he thinks about how maybe that’s an important part of you both moving forward. You forgive him for some reason but Jason doesn’t think you've accepted it yet. A part of him has, it happened to him and he’s alive. He went through it. One second, your world is moving at a steady pace and the next it’s halted, suddenly stopped with no warning and then it’s thrown in the other direction. It sounds more like whiplash. So, Jason wonders if you’ll ever hit the acceptance stage. He wonders how you were ever able to bear any of it. He knows for certain if it were him, he’d never be able to.

Your eyes are soft and tired and there’s the tiniest, adoring smile on your lips. A look Jason is privileged enough to be the only one to receive. And he thinks about he’d never be able to bear the loss of you. It rips him to shreds. It would take all of the remaining good parts of him and shatter them. He’d never recover if something happened to you. Even if it's beyond his control. It’s terrifying feeling that way about another person.

Jason nods against you before he presses a kiss to the palm of your hand. “Yeah…” He lets out a breath. “Thanks for sticking around.”

“Thanks for letting me.” You smile softly. "You and me?"

Jason offers the same smile back. "You and me." Jason confirms. “You still gonna talk to Leslie?” Jason asks as you pull your hand away.

You nod softly. “Yeah. If she has anything open.”

Jason gives you a soft smile. “Good.” He nods softly. He sits back up all the way, looking to his doorway. “Gonna grab your clothes.” Jason chuckles softly, tossing his shirt over his head before he gets up.

You watch Jason disappear through the doorway and you're quick to grab his pillow, checking to see if he’s replaced the knife with a gun. Your chest warms with the sight of your blue switchblade still locked and lying under his pillow. It’s a relief he hasn’t put the gun back. Your thoughts are jolted as fabric hits your face.

“Hey!” You yell through a laugh, your clothes falling into your lap.

“Fucking nosey ass.” Jason nods his head at you, making his way back to the bed with his hoodie in hand.

“You’re an interesting person to be nosey about.” You shrug as you get the blanket off of your shoulders. You can feel the tiredness weighing on your bones and you know if you don't head home soon, you'll end up staying here. As much as you really want to, you do not want to overstay your welcome. “Well,” You sigh as you tug your shirt over your head. “I should probably head home.” You laugh softly, seeing the orange light of sunrise seeping through Jason’s window.

“Guess so.” Jason nearly pouts at the thought. He never wants you to leave but he doesn't want you to feel obligated to always stay just because you're here late. You'll be back here later anyway. “Still gonna help me today?” Jason’s eyes are hopeful and big.

“Of course.” You laugh softly, feeling the heat rise to your cheeks. “I’ll just sleep for a few hours and how about we like one?” You ask. “We’ll both be out of it if we don’t get some sleep.”

“Yeah, yeah, alright.” Jason says in agreement. “Want an escort home?” He asks but you can tell by the way he raises of his brows and the way he's already moving to get up, it's not really an offer. He's going to do it anyway.

“Thank you.” You stand up, putting the rest of your clothes on. "Just get some sleep when you get back, okay?"

Jason nods with a grin. "Of course. Gotta be well-rested hanging out with you."

"I can not help you." You quip as you grab your bag.

"Sorry." Jason lets out a chuckle.

"Let's just go." Your eyes widen at him to tease him before Jason gestures towards the door for you to lead the way.

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callsign-dexter · 4 months ago

Text

Fireside Romance 18+

Request: I just love the very present Kelly spam on your blog too much that I'm gonna send in an idea as well ! My bday is on the weekend, but I feel bad for all the other request before me. So you don't need to do it right now ❤️

Maybe something where you're just new at Firehouse 51 and Shays new partner on 61, and also hers and Kelly's new roommate. He wasn't happy about that in the first place but after he gets to know you he can't think of a better person to live with and you 3 get really close friends. One time you're alone with Kelly, when your nasty ex finds out where you live and shows up. As Kelly opens the door your ex starts making a scene about another guy living with you, but Kelly gets into protective mode and takes care of the situation not letting him near you and making him leave again fast. Then he sees you being a bit overwhelmed by the situation so he hugs you immediately and you relax into his arms, feeling butterflies all inside you, that he stood up for you and that adding to your already present crush on him. Taking advantage of the situation you kiss him, which he returns and somehow you end up in his bed where Shay later finds you both cuddled up together naked and she fist bumps herself cause she knew that would happen and she'll mock you first thing in the morning about that? 🤭

Omg I'm so sorry it's so long !!!!

Pairings: Kelly Severide x Paramedic!Reader

Warnings: angst, domestic abuse done by OC, drinking, fluff, smut, swearing

Masterlist

A/N: @talesofreading and @imagine-all-the-fandoms I hope you're prepared for some Kelly Severide smut.....

A/N 2: Happy 6 month belated birthday! So sorry it is so late!

Leslie Shay has been your long-time best friend, like so long that you both would consider each other sisters. She was the one to push you to go to school to become a paramedic, you had shown that you were capable and you loved helping people. She was a few years older than you so she had already been through the schooling and had been at 51 longer than you. After you finished your schooling and went through the fire academy you were placed with Firehouse 51 as a paramedic with Shay and to say you both were beyond excited was an understatement. You quickly made friends with everyone on the team including Kelly Severide when you went in to meet everyone.

When you were placed at Firehouse 51 as a paramedic you were in a seriously bad relationship but you had a place to stay but that was about to quickly change. You just started working there a week ago when your living situation was no more. Shay and you had talked about it and how abusive your boyfriend was. You wanted to break up with him and move out but had nowhere to go until she suggested you move in with Kelly and her. She promised that she would talk to Kelly about it and let you know, you thanked her profusely.

You had just gotten off work but stayed behind while the others went off to Molly’s because there was some paperwork stuff that needed to be taken care of with HR so by the time you were out of there you were getting home late. As you were driving home you ran into some traffic which made you even more late and that made you nervous. You tried calling your boyfriend, Taylor Hadley, but it went straight to voicemail and you left them but knew he would never listen to them but you still gave some sort of notification. You finally pulled into your apartment complex and walked into the building and took the elevator to your floor. When it dinged and you got out and started to walk towards your apartment everything was silent and that scared you. You took your key out and unlocked the door and was immediately met with the smell of alcohol and there was Taylor leaning against the wall arms crossed with a bottle of Jack Daniels in his hand. “Where the fuck were you?” He asked in a demanding tone.

“I was down at the firehouse filling out some paperwork. I told you I was doing that this morning.” You said

“No, the fuck you didn’t.” He growled out and then threw the bottle at your head which had you ducking but the glass shattered and nicked you and the rest of the contents went everywhere and on to you.

“You’ve been drinking. I did tell you this morning.” You said not daring to move.

“No, the reason you’re so late is because you’re cheating on me!” He said, stalking closer to you.

“No no I wasn't, I swear. I was at the firehouse. You can call down there and ask them.” You said as he was face to face with you. He didn’t say anything but instead slapped you hard across the face, he was strong so it sent you crashing into the side table. Tears sprang to your eyes as you braced yourself on the table.

“You fucking bitch! Always fucking lying to me!” He growled out and grabbed you by your hair. You grabbed his hands and then threw you into the floor. Tears fell down your face.

“I’m not lying. I swear. I would never cheat on you like you do to me.” You said and that was a mistake and you knew it was a mistake and you wished you could take it back. His foot came in contact with your ribs and you could feel a couple of them break. You tried to protect yourself but that just made it worse. He was grabbing you by the hair again and bringing you to your feet. You were out of breath and you couldn’t catch it. He made a fist and punched you and blood instantly started to pour out of your nose, which meant that he broke it. He grabbed your throat and your airway was instantly cut off and he just continued to squeeze until you were almost blacking out. He backed you up in a glass cabinet and it shattered on contact and you could feel glass digging into you. He laid a few more punches into you and then he was throwing you down on the ground one more time and the air rushed back to you but it didn’t last long because he was kicking you in the stomach.

“Stupid bitch!” He yelled out and then he was storming out of the apartment leaving you there bleeding and crying. You pulled yourself up and steadied yourself on the wall until you got to your purse and then you were falling down on the ground with your purse. You pulled out your phone and dialed 911 as you were starting to fade in and out of unconsciousness.

“911 what is your emergency?” The dispatcher asked.

“My boyfriend just attacked me.” You slurred

“Is he there now?” They asked again.

“No, he he stormed out. He’s been drinking. He slammed me into glass, punched me several times, kicked me in the ribs and stomach. I’m bleeding a lot. I need help.” You said and you told your name, address, and the name of your boyfriend and then you were passing out.

*******************

“What do you think about adding a roommate?” Shay asked Kelly as they were sitting down on the couch.

“Why would we need a roommate?” He asked

“Well, rent is going up and having another person would help with that and help. Also, groceries are going up and having a third person splitting it would help too.” She said

“We don’t need a roommate; we have everything under control.” He said he liked his space but having a third person might help out. She didn’t get a reply because her phone was ringing and she was quick to pull out and she frowned and Kelly took notice of this. “Everything ok?” He asked.

“Med is calling me.” She said and she was quick to answer it.

“Shay, it’s Maggie. A Y/N Y/L/N was just brought in and you were listed as her ICE number in her phone.” Maggie Lockwood said

“Is she alright?” Shay asked, already getting up and rushing to grab everything she needed.

“No. She came in unconscious and that is all I can tell you until you get here.” Maggie said

“I’ll be down there as quick as I can be.” She said

“We’ll see when you get down here.” Maggie said and then they were hanging up.

“Everything ok?” Kelly asked

“No, Y/N is at Med.” She said, slipping her coat on and grabbing her keys.

“Y/N, the new paramedic that just started working there a week ago?” Kelly asked

“Yes, I got to go.” Shay said and was rushing off leaving Kelly there at the apartment alone.

Shay got to the hospital in record time and was parking and rushing in. She ran up to the receptionist desk and was about to start asking where you were but the voice of Will Halstead quickly called out her name “Shay.” He said and she looked up and he was waving her over.

“Will what the fuck happened?” She asked and he was guiding her to your room. He didn’t say anything as he stopped outside of your room and she looked through the window and saw you and her heart broke she turned to Will.

“She was brought in with multiple lacerations, a broken nose, several broken ribs, internal bleeding which we had to go in and fix which we just got down with, and she also had strangulation marks around her neck. It was bad. We almost lost her once on the table. I had to get Jay involved.” Will said and Shay was speechless. It was so bad that he had to get his brother, Jay Halstead, involved.

“Do they have anything?” She asked

“No, they are waiting for her to wake up to get more information.” He said and Shay nodded. “If anything happens or if she wakes up. Let a nurse know and I will be down here.” He said and she nodded and then he was patting her on the shoulder and leaving. She walked into your room and pulled up a chair and sat down.

“What the hell happened?” She asked, sighing not expecting an answer. She took your appearance in.

*********

The next time you were coming to you were in a hospital with blinding lights shining down in your eyes. You squinted and tried to move but everything hurt and tears sprang to your eyes. “Hey don’t move. You had some pretty serious surgery.” A familiar voice said and you opened your eyes to find Shay there sitting next to your bed.

“Shay?” You asked in a hoarse voice.

“Hey, it’s ok.” She said getting up and leaning over you, blocking the light and pressing the call button. The nurse came on and she told them that you were awake.

“What happened?” You asked and she smiled sadly at you.

“I was going to ask you the same things. What do you remember?” She asked

“I remember coming home late from the station working on some HR stuff. I was late. He was drinking and started yelling and I was defending myself and he didn’t like that and then he was getting violent.” You said straining to remember. Just then Will was coming in along with Jay and Hailey Upton and Dr. Daniel Charles, you didn’t know him.

“Hey, Y/N. How are you feeling?” Will asked

“Sore.” You said and he smiled.

“You had a pretty big surgery.” He said “Jay and Hailey have some questions for you. Dr. Charles is here in support as well.” He added.

“Hi, I’m Dr. Charles and I’m the physicists here.” He said

“You don’t have to tell us anything. You also don’t have to have anybody in her while he questions you.” Jay said and you nodded.

“I’m ok with everyone in the room.” You said and everyone smiled.

“Remember you don’t have to answer these. You also have every right to stop the questioning if you get overwhelmed.” Hailey said and you nodded.

“Do you remember what happened?” Jay asked and you nodded.

“Yes, I do.” You said

“As best as you can tell us what happened.” Hailey said and you looked at Shay and she smiled and nodded at you giving you an encouraging nod.

“I was down at the fire station working on some paperwork for HR by the time I left it was late. As I was driving home, I got caught in traffic. I tried to call Taylor on my phone through Bluetooth when I was stopped at a red light. He didn’t answer so I left a message.” You said and took a deep breath and started getting tensed and the heart monitor started to rise and Dr. Charles took notice of this.

“Do you want to take a break?” Dr. Charles asked and you shook your head.

“No. I’m ok. Do I have to tell you the exact word for word he said?” You asked

“No, you don’t have to but you can if you want. It would help.” Hailey said

“He asked me “Where the fuck were you?” in a demanding tone. I told him that I was down at the firehouse filling out some paperwork. I told him that morning.” You said. He said no growled “No the fuck you didn’t.” He then threw the bottle at my head which had I ducked but the glass shattered and nicked me and the alcohol went everywhere and on me.” You said

“Which would explain the smell of alcohol.” Will said and you nodded and then continued.

“I told him that he had been drinking and that I did tell him this morning.” You said. “He accused me of cheating and that was the reason I was late. He stalked closer to me. I told him no that I wasn't and that I swear. I told him I was at the firehouse. I told him that he could call down there and ask them.” You said “He didn’t say anything but instead slapped me hard across the face, it sent me crashing into the side table. I remember tears sprang to my eyes as I braced myself on the table. He yelled “You fucking bitch! Always fucking lying to me!” and grabbed me by my hair. I grabbed his hands and then he threw me into the floor. Tears fell down my face. I told him “I’m not lying. I swear. I would never cheat on you like you do to me.” I knew that was a mistake and I wished you could take it back. His foot came in contact with my ribs and I could feel a couple of them break.” You said and Will nodded confirming this. I remember trying to protect myself but that just made it worse. He was grabbing me by the hair again and bringing me to my feet. I remember being out of breath and I couldn’t catch it. He made a fist and punched me. I remember the blood instantly started to pour out of my nose. He grabbed my throat and my airway was instantly cut off and he just continued to squeeze until I was almost blacking out. He backed me up in a glass cabinet and it shattered on contact and I could feel glass digging into you. He laid a few more punches into me and then he threw me down on the ground one more time and the air rushed back to me because he let go of my throat but it didn’t last long because he was kicking me in the stomach.” You said and again Will nodded.

“Which would cause internal bleeding and cause you have to have surgery. It ruptured your kidney and it had to be removed.” Will said and Jay nodded as he wrote that down.

“Are you good to continue?” Dr. Charles asked and you nodded.

“I remember him yelling “Stupid bitch!” Then he stormed out of the apartment leaving me there bleeding and crying. I remember pulling myself up and steadying myself on the wall until I got to my purse and then I fell down on the ground with it. I remember pulling my phone and dialing 911. I told them everything while starting to fade in and out of unconsciousness.” You finished and Dr. Charles was smiling.

“That was very good. Most domestic abuse patients wouldn’t want to give up their significant other.” He said

“He’s been doing it for 4 years.” You whispered

“Do you mind if we take pictures?” Jay asked

“I don’t mind. I only want Hailey and Shay.” You said and they nodded and everyone else walked out of the room. She took the pictures quickly and then they were welcomed back in.

“We will put this man away.” Hailey said and you nodded and then they were leaving and now it was just Will, Shay, and Dr. Charles with you. Will and Dr. Charles talked to you a little more and then they were leaving.

“Do you have a place to stay?” Shay asked and you were silent and shrugged.

“I don’t know.” You said

“I will talk to Kelly.” She said and you nodded. She stayed for a few more minutes and then she was leaving bidding you a goodbye.

*********

When Shay arrived home, she was determined to move you in. When she got into the apartment Kelly was just plating food. “Hey.” He said looking up and seeing her.

“Hey.” She said

“Is Y/N ok?” He asked

“No.” She said as he handed her a plate of food.

“What happened?” He asked

“Her boyfriend beat her up pretty badly. Bad enough to land her in the hospital.” She said and Kelly was actually mad. “I know you said you didn’t want a roommate but she has nowhere else to go. We have the extra room and she can make the payments.” Shay said and Kelly sighed he didn’t want a roommate but he couldn’t let you go back to that situation

“You’re right I don’t want a roommate but I can’t leave someone homeless or going back to a bad situation. She can move in.” He said and she sighed and hugged him after she put her plate down and he was fixing his.

“Thank you so much.” She said, the next time she saw you she told you that Kelly agreed and you were so grateful. You gave them the key and they went to pick your stuff up. It wasn’t much and that actually saddened them both.

2 days before you got out of the hospital Jay and Hailey were coming in and telling you that your boyfriend, now ex, had been arrested and that he had been charged with domestic abuse and DUI. They had strong evidence against him.

When you got out and to your new apartment your stuff had been put in the extra bedroom. Shay helped you unpack and once everything was done you joined them in the living room. “Thank you for letting me move in.” You said mostly to Kelly.

“I’m so glad to have you here.” Shay said

“You’re welcome.” Kelly said not sounding too enthusiastic but you took it.

*********

3 months into living with them, Kelly had been getting to know you more and you doing just the little things and some big things helped and that made him slowly getting into having you as a roommate. He was also falling in love with you and you were falling in love with him too.

1 month

It started out with you replacing everything that was low on stock into a month of living with them. You noticed that most of Kelly’s stuff was low so you, being a good roommate, stocked up on his stuff more and just stuff in the apartment in general. You were also having weekly sessions with Dr. Charles and weren’t there to see Kelly’s face when he noticed that everything of his and Shay’s stuff and some stuff that was hard to find like his and Shay’s favorite coffee creamer.

Kelly and Shay had just got off work and it was a rough shift. You had taken a personal day off of your three-day shift and it was approved especially after what happened. You were at the hospital having an appointment with Dr. Charles. Kelly stormed in with Shay walking in behind him. The apartment smelled nice and it felt warm like a home. This shocked them both and they looked at each other then they saw the note: “Hey, guys I’m going to be gone for a few hours. Don’t wait up for me. I have some stuff I need to get off my chest.”

“I’m going to take a shower.” Kelly murmured and Shay nodded as he walked into his bathroom, he noticed that fresh towels were hung up and when he looked into the shower, he noticed that his favorite shampoo and body wash were restocked. “How? It is so hard to find this.” He asked himself as he picked up the bottle. Kelly was slowly starting to come around to having a roommate but he wasn’t yet fully convinced. When Kelly had gotten out of the shower and changed, he heard laughter in the living room. He went out to see what was going on, he saw that you and Shay were on the couch laughing. You were laughing and turned your head to find him standing there and you smiled at him.

“Hey, Kelly.” You said smiling at him.

“Hey, you have a good session with Dr. Charles?” He asked and you smiled at him and nodded as he walked in and sat on the chair beside the couch.

“I did. I was having a hard time with something about Taylor and it was stopping me from doing things” You said and he nodded and then you got to talking again but one question was on his mind when the current conversation came to an end he decided to ask the question.

“I have a question for you.” Kelly said and you turned to him and smiled and nodded as a go ahead. “I noticed that our stuff was stocked and some of the stuff is hard to find. How did you find it?” He asked and you smiled at him.

“I found them at this really small shop. They only carry the hard-to-find things. I’ve actually been looking for months around places and when I find them, I buy everything and then I found this place and boom there it was.” You explained and he nodded.

“While we are asking questions. What did you do to make it smell so good in here? We couldn’t get that musty smell out of here.” Shay asked

“I used to clean a lot and while I was off, I deep cleaned. I also got some plugins and plugged them in the high traffic places. I wasn’t going to get a candle warmer because too many fires happen with those.” You said and they both nodded. Kelly couldn’t help falling further in love with you and how good of a roommate you were being.

2 months

The three of you were at work and for once it wasn’t busy. Everyone was doing their own thing and even though the three of you were together at home you three were alone together at work. Rent was coming up and you wanting to be a good roommate actually went ahead and paid it all. “I haven’t noticed that the rent bill hasn’t come.” Kelly said.

“You know I’ve noticed that too.” Shay said and you were being quiet and they noticed this. “Have you noticed it too?” Shay asked.

“I paid it.” You said taking a sip of your hot chocolate.

“What?” They both asked and you nodded.

“Yes, I paid it. I wanted to show you how much I appreciated you guys letting me live with you so I went ahead and paid it all.” You said looking at your roommates.

“Y/N you didn’t have to do that.” Kelly said “We are roommates, we pay for the bills and food equally.” He said and Shay nodded.

“I know but I wanted to do it.” You said now feeling guilty for it. “I’m sorry, it won’t happen again.” You said feeling guilty. You felt so guilty that you decided to just leave feeling like they were angry at you and the look on your face broke Kelly he wasn’t trying to be mean he was just surprised. He and Shay looked at each other.

“Did I just make her upset?” He asked

“I think we both did.” She said

“I’ll go find her.” Kelly said and she nodded.

“Ok.” She said she was going to offer to go with him but she knew that he liked you and maybe this would help you both get closer to each other. So, Kelly went on the search for you, he checked everywhere and couldn’t find you until he decided to check outside and there, he found you sitting on the firetrucks bumper that had been moved out to be cleaned.

“Y/N.” Kelly said when he saw you and you looked up at him and you looked terrified and he hated that. “We didn’t mean to make it sound like we were mad at you. We were just surprised.” He said and you nodded. “Why did you do it? I’m curious.” He asked.

“I wanted to show my appreciation for you both letting me move in with you. I can afford it.” You said

“I’m not saying you can't. We appreciate it but we’re roommates and we split everything.” He said and you nodded.

“I know. It’s just how I was raised.” You said

“How so?” He asked and then you were moving so he could sit and he did.

“Believe it or not I come from a wealthy family. We get along great and the way we show appreciation. When someone finds out I have money whether it be male or female they either want to be my friend and use me for money or date me for my money and then they show their true colors.” You said and he nodded and listened and as he was talking to you, he was falling in love with you and as a roommate. You two talked until the bell was ringing.

3 months

By the third month of you living with them Kelly was 100% ok with having you as a roommate. He was also 100% ready to take it to the next level with you and he was planning to ask you out soon but that and among other things happened so much quicker. Since you moved in you cut all ties with Taylor and you thought he would be gone for good and that he was in jail but apparently had gotten out and you were shocked when you heard the news but he didn’t know where you lived, at least you didn’t think he did. You also had a restraining order against him.

It was just you and Kelly at the apartment since Shay had a date and was going to be gone for the rest of the evening until the morning. You and Kelly had been lounging on the couch when there was a knock on the door “Stay put. I got it.” He said getting up and walking to the door as you paused the show that you two were currently watching. You heard the door open “Can I help you?” Kelly asked.

“Oh, so she’s already moved in with another guy? It’s only been three months.” The familiar voice of none other than your ex-boyfriend, Taylor Hadley, sounded and you froze. You were quick to get up and go to the door but stopped far enough away but Taylor could see you.

“You need to leave.” Kelly said

“No, I came back for what is rightfully mine.” He growled out and that made Kelly’s blood boil.

“She is not yours anymore. You need to leave.” He said blocking the entrance way. Kelly was a lot bigger than Taylor and he could easily take him down with one push. Taylor seemed to move on from Kelly and focused his attention on you.

“You’re such a fucking bitch. Sleeping with every guy you come across, especially that cop that arrested me. I’m going to teach you a lesson for cheating on me.” He said and tried to come in but was met with a wall of Kelly and he was quickly pushing him out. Throughout the whole deal you were as silent as you could be quickly becoming overwhelmed with his presence.

“It’s time for you to fucking leave. You’re not welcome here.” He said and pushed him out into the hallway and shut the door quickly and locked it. He pulled out his phone and made a quick text to Jay. Kelly turned to look at you and you were wide eyed and staring straight ahead and shaking slightly. He was quick to walk over to you and take you into his arms hugging you. “Hey, it’s ok. I got you.” He said into your ear and you hugged him back. After being in his arms for a few minutes you pulled away slightly and that caused him to look at you. You both stared into each other’s eyes and suddenly you were leaning in and kissing him. At first, he was frozen shocked but very quickly got over that and kissed you with so much passion that the only time you broke apart was when you needed air. Both out of breath you stared at each other and his eyes were hungry and he was quickly kissing you again and picking you up which made you squeal into his mouth and then he started moving towards his bedroom. You both kissed each hungrily, teeth clashing with each other tongues battling for dominance. As he entered his room and shut the door to where it was only a crack.

Kelly walked to his bed and when he was there, he slowly laid you down on the bed and was overing your body with his broad one. The heat was quickly rising but you didn’t want to stop. Clothes were quickly shed until you were both nude in front of each other. He went back to kissing you and you could feel his erection on your thigh. Kelly ran his hands up and down your body and his kisses trailed to your neck where you leaned it to the side moaning. “I love you.” You moaned out and he stopped and looked at you and that made you look at him.

“Seriously?” He asked and you nodded.

“Seriously.” You said and smiled and kissed you hard.

“I love you too.” He said when he broke the kiss. He brought his cock to the entrance and once it was seated there, he slowly eased himself into you and you moaned welcoming the stretch. It was painful at first but it soon turned into pleasure. He was bigger in length and girth than any of your exs, especially Taylor.

“Fuck you’re so big. Stretching me so well. I always imagined being in bed with you and how big you were but you exceeded my expectations.” You said and he smirked into your neck.

“I’m glad I could exceed those expectations.” He said and he started to move which made you moan.

“Oh fuck!” You yelled out in pleasure.

“You’re taking me so well. Squeezing me so tight.” He moaned and in turn you squeezed him and he groaned. “Keep doing that and I won’t last long.” He growled out and that sent shivers, good shivers, up your spine. “You’re my good girl.” He moaned out and that made you wet. As he thrusted into you and made you see stars, in a good way, each time he moved inside you made you fall in love with him more and that familiar knot started to grow. Nails dug into his arms which were holding his broad body up from crushing you.

“You’re making me feel so good, Kels. Don’t stop.” You moaned and he smirked.

“I don’t plan on it. Not now. Not ever.” He said and thrusted into you.

“Please go faster.” You moaned

“Your wish is my command.” He said and picked up his pace and that just brought more pleasure to you.

“Oh fuck! I’m close, Baby. So, close!” You yelled out and he didn’t care that you were being loud he wanted to let everyone hear he was the one making you feel this good.

“Who is making you feel this good?” He asked

“You.” You moaned

“Say my name.” He growled out.

“Kelly! Kelly is making me feel good!” You screamed out and he smirked.

“Damn right. Are you going to be my good girl and come for me?” He asked

“Yes!” You moaned out loudly as he brought one hand to your clit, leaving him resting his body weight on hand which was not a problem for him, and started to rub it vigorously which sent waves of pleasure throughout you.

“Come for me, Sweetheart.” He said and as he spoke and that added pressure on your clit did you in and that knot exploded and you were coming hard and squeezed him tightly.

“Oh fuck!” You yelled out as you came and he was close behind you painting your walls white with his cum. Both of you were sweaty and out of breath as he slowly and gently pulled out of you as he pulled back the covers. He pulled them up and you shimmed under them and he laid them over your naked bodies. You cuddled into him, face in his chest and he wrapped his arms around you. “I meant when I said I loved you. I have fallen in love with you over these 3 months.” You said he searched his face as he smiled.

“I’ve fallen in love with you romantically and as a roommate over these 3 months too. To be honest I didn’t want a roommate but having you as one has been perfect. I want you to be my girlfriend and take you out on a date.” He said and you smiled.

“I would love that. Although we skipped some steps.” You said chuckling and he chuckled too.

“We did but it was worth it.” He said and you smiled and nodded.

“Definitely was.” You said and yawned.

“Get some sleep. I’ll be here in the morning.” He said and you nodded and you closed your eyes and fell to sleep. As soon as he felt you breathe even out and that is when he allowed himself to fall asleep.

The next morning Shay was rolling into the apartment early and was confused when she didn’t hear the two of you up and her eyebrows furrowed. So, she went on a mission to find out where the two of you were. Both vehicles were here and you both clearly weren’t in the kitchen, dining room, living room, and she couldn’t imagine why you both would be in her room but she checked anyway. She then checked your room and the both of you weren’t there. A smile grew on her face as she was starting to pieces as there was one last room to check. The door was cracked and she silently opened it and there the two of you were naked cuddled together sound to sleep and she was overcome with joy. She backed out moving the door back to where it was beforehand and made her hand into a fist and fist bumped the air. All along she wanted you to move and the two of you fall in love and after 3 months it happened. She made her way to the kitchen and started to make coffee.

You were slowly waking up and at first confused as to where you were and who was holding you but you quickly remembered and smiled at the memories that came flooding back from last night. You looked at the peaceful look on Kelly’s face and slowly leaned up and kissed his lips and he squinted in his sleep but he was slowly waking up. He cracked his eyes open to find you smiling at him. “Good morning.” You whispered.

“Good morning.” He replied in a gruff voice, smiling.

“Last night was wonderful. I never knew sex could feel so good.” You said and he kissed you.

“I will make you feel good every night for as long as you let me.” He said and you smiled.

“Please.” You said

“Gladly. Want some pancakes?” He asked and you nodded as your stomach growled.

“Yes.” You said and he kissed you one more time before he was getting up and pulling on his boxers and sweatpants and you admired his god-like body and then you were rolling out of bed and pulling on your underwear and grabbing Kelly’s discarded t-shirt that came down to your thighs and covered everything. Kelly watched you the entire time.

“You look good in my shirt. You should wear my clothes all the time.” He said and you smiled.

“As long as you will let me.” You said and he smiled and then you two kissed each other and headed out of the living room and into the kitchen. As you were nearing the kitchen bacon was heard sizzling and as you walked in there was Shay fixing breakfast.

“Good morning love birds. Have a good night last night?” She said smirking and you blushed and Kelly smirked.

“We sure did.” He said and you smacked his chest but you couldn’t help but agree.

“Soooo how did it happen?” She asked

“Taylor found out where I lived and tried to start something and broke his restraining order and it just went from there.” You said as she handed you a plate of food and Kelly a plate of food. You both went to sit down next to each other and then she was bringing drinks over.

“I have to say I’m really glad that she became our roommate.” Kelly said and she smiled.

“She really is the best.” Shay said

“Stop you guys.” You said and Kelly chuckled.

“She’s telling the truth.” He said as he took a bite of his food and so did you. As the three of you ate and talked about everything you could feel Kelly’s hand on your bare thigh and you looked up at him and he was fully focused in a conversation with Shay and you listened loving hearing them talk but you were just enjoying his hand on your thigh and being close to him. As Shay looked down at her phone looking at and still talking Kelly looked over to you and into your eyes, his eyes were filled with love and so were yours.

“I love you.” He mouthed and you smiled at him.

“I love you too.” You mouthed back and he smiled and you honestly meant it. You couldn’t wait to spend more time with him as your boyfriend.

Tag list:

@kmc1989

@els-marvelvsp

@atarmychick007

@nyx2021

@grandstrangerphantom

@angenu01-blog

@talesofreading

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the-way-astray · 3 months ago

Note

what is going on

let me take you back to half a week ago, when this first started.

it all starts with a simple notification. i click on it, thinking it's an innocent ask, or perhaps an anon wanting to pick a fight with me. i am a notorious keefe hater in this fandom, after all. let's see what the anons have to throw at me this time. if only that small, innocent, little me from four days ago had known. the notification was nothing short of a snake, hiding in the grass, waiting to strike.

it was alayda. she'd dared me to write something *horrified gasp* positive about keefe. she thought me, a notorious keefe hater, couldn't possibly have anything nice to say about my least favorite guy? well, i'd show her. i typed out a truly magnificent pro keefe essay, if i do say so myself. tumblr fought me the entire time, trying to delete half of it, but i persevered, and eventually posted it.

i had no idea what was coming for me. over the next few hours, i began to get truly heinous asks, questioning my commitment to my keefe hatred, and generally slandering my reputation. at the time, i'd thought this was as bad as it could get. but, oh. oh, no, no, no. as edaline ruewen said, "hindsight is a dangerous game". now i know that it could get worse than i could possibly even begin to imagine. and it did.

that same day, i got the ask. the one that changed everything. i responded in horrified horror, terrified terror, because i knew everything was about to change. and the next day, it appeared that other anons had followed in the first anon's footsteps. it was decided that me and keefe would be an enemies-to-lovers romance. our ship name was to be strieefe. an anon went to the official poll blog, @/do-you-ship-this-book-couple. i changed my ask box title to "KEEFE WOULD NOT LIKE ME" and got an anon about it. they started going to katie's ask box.

the debate ramped up. more people became aware. people, both anon and not, began to choose sides. i began offering badly drawn sketches to people who sided against this atrocious excuse for a ship. i should probably be making those instead of typing this out. whoopsie. i fought the anons that disagreed with me with a desperation akin to a rat caught in a trap, but my thrashing appeared to only attract more unhinged anons.

i then got my first anon that made a genuine attempt to explain why this horrible ship could theoretically work. they were wrong, of course, but i appreciate the effort. as i've explained countless times, the real relationship me and keefe would have if he were real would be one-sided hatred. i would hate him with a passion that can't be adequately described by the english language, and he'd be entirely unaware of my existence.

then! a miracle! an anon sent an ask to quil about strieefe, and i can only assume they wanted quil to analyze why we'd be good together. but quil, i never should've doubted quil. the response was a fantastically constructed analysis on why i was right about how i'd have one-sided rage toward keefe. but my delight dimmed significantly when i saw that fin, someone whom i'd previously trusted, had thrown his support behind this awful ship and even drawn fanart of me and keefe. i swiftly demoted him from the spot he had previously shared with max: "favorite fintanposter".

the anons got more unhinged. i began to be shipped with non-keefe main cast characters, sometimes monogamously, sometimes not. i bravely faced the assault, tearing the anons' arguments to shreds with my logical explanations as to why i would not be a good fit for any of them. this led to me posting a poll at the insistence of one anon, which is still open.

just as the waters were looking significantly less treacherous, just as it seemed i may make it to shore without drowning, a new development occurred. i got an ask from alayda, who as you may remember, is the one that started all this. this is entirely her fault. i'd expected maybe a heartfelt apology, perhaps a plea for forgiveness. but no. her ask was but an ominous warning, one i could not make sense of. i pondered the meaning as i stared at it. and then. horror upon horrors, it appeared in my inbox. i read through it in horrified horror, and my rickety little boat was once more swept out to sea.

it was a fanfic. a terribly written, horribly wattpad-ified, y/n-ish fanfic. i tore it to shreds thoroughly, taking pleasure as the scraps of the work of the one who had brought all this sorrow upon me fell in loose tatters all around me. i dusted off my hands and left it at that.

but it continued. even as i type this out, there is a part two to that horrific fanfic sitting in my inbox, which alayda is pestering me to post. there's also a part one to another anon fanfic, which is written relatively well, which arguably makes it even worse than alayda's. then there's yet another poem written about me and keefe by emelin, which also sits in my inbox, gathering dust as i attempt to piece the broken shards of my sanity back together.

all this to say, join the correct side of this debate. we have badly drawn sketches and braincells. be on the right side of history.

#i didn't talk about everything so for more details go through the tag #keefe would not like me and i don't like him #that's where i've been posting all this nonsense to #kotlc #kotlc keefe #keefe sencen #asks #friendlyneihborhoodpercussionist

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mylovelies-docx · 1 year ago

Text

Sorry, I Love You - Part 9

Oh wow, a new chapter? Who'd have thunk it.

My posting schedule is all off and I honestly don't know if I can get it back under control. I have no idea when I'll get time to sit down and write and when inspiration will strike, so I can't assure weekly updates. But I'll try my hardest to get this story out! I have future chapters written, it's just that I have no way of connecting them right now :/ Oops.

Plot: You and Bucky have a good thing going - best of friends that also have more than a little chemistry between the sheets. Everything is fine until you develop feelings for the man who doesn't want a relationship. What will happen when Bucky finds out?

C/W: Ah shit, here we go again. Angst, arguments, jealousy

Word Count: 2,250

Tag List: NOW CLOSED! If you'd like to keep up with this story, please follow my blog and turn on notifications! ❤️ you :)

[Prologue][Part 1][Part 2][Part 3][Part 4][Part 5][Part 6][Part 7][Part 8]

Some moments are easier than others. Sometimes you feel like you’re not pining like a love-sick teenager enough to think that you can actually do this – you can actually be friends with the man you love.

But then there are moments like tonight.

A few weeks have passed since community get-together, and you and Bucky are the new kids in town. Everyone drops by to say hello, leave you with enough food to last the winter, and invite you both back to their homes for dinner. It’s all very sweet, and you would appreciate the hospitality in any other situation.

But the amount of mothers trying to marry their daughters off to Bucky is insane.

Several have not-so-subtley seated Bucky next to daughters of marriageable age, while everyone else is silently discouraged from interrupting their conversations. It skeezes you out when the girls are barely out of their teens, but most of the girls are around your age or older. Morality-wise, that’s a whole lot more appropriate. Internal monologue-wise, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh doesn’t even begin to cover it. What you feel whenever he laughs at something they say, or looks at them with his intense blue eyes – it hurts. That’s how he used to look at you, once upon a time. Like his life wouldn’t be the same without you in it, like you’re one of the most important people in his world.

To be fair to Bucky, you probably read waaaay more into it than he ever meant. And you only ever really saw that look come out when you were straddling his waist and grinding hard on his cock, skin mottled with his teeth marks and wearing his metal hand as a necklace.

Stop, stop, stop, stop!

Anyway,

You’re usually placed next to older, widowed relatives, as most of the young men in the town have already settled down and popped out a few kids with their spouses except for Petre. Tessa foists the two of you together at every possible opportunity, hoping you’ll hit it off and decide to get married in the near future.

Petre is nice, smart, cute, but not really your type. You’re convinced that you’ve only ever had one type and he’s off-limits. But Petre’s company is much more enjoyable than the sad, lonely older men they try to pair you with – it never feels great to be compared to someone’s long lost love – so you don’t mind having someone around your age to talk during these things.

Speaking of.

“It’s a nice night, yeah?” Petre comments. The night is warmer than expected, but you and Petre are still bundled up in your coats as you stroll through the dead copse of trees near the latest dinner party. The sun had set only minutes ago and the stars are making their presence known. There’s next to no light pollution in this area, so you always take the time to admire the night sky when you have the chance.

You often take walks with Bucky up and down your street as a way to decompress after your shifts at the HYDRA facility. After the first week or so of being everyone’s errand-runner, they’ve slowly built up your workload to include calculations and deductions based on redacted data – it’s not as much information as you’d like, but it’s enough to build a foundational understanding of what the experiment was about.

You hum in agreement and continue walking. It’s about time to turn around and head back, but you can’t bring yourself to return only to watch Bucky flirt with the pretty girls that were also invited.

“Is something the matter?” Petre asks you.

You startle out of your petty, jealous thoughts. “Hm? Oh, no. Nothing’s wrong,” you reply with a smile.

“It’s just that you seem very distracted tonight,” he responds.

With your hands in your pocket, the only thing you can do is shrug your shoulders. “Just tired, is all. It’s been a long week at the office.”

“Ah, I know the feeling,” Petre commiserates.

All of the sudden, a wailing, piercing shriek ricochets between the tree trunks and reverberates in your ears. Tensing with adrenaline, you take two steps forward, ready to intervene in whatever events are unfolding in the darkness.

Before you get much further, Petre reaches out and takes hold of your elbow. Turning you around, he starts leading the way back. You try to tug your arm from his grip, but he holds firm.

“The cry of a vixen who is looking to mate. They’re rather vicious creatures this time of year, foxes. We don’t want to get in her way,” Petre deters.

“But…” you begin, looking back over your shoulders and watching for unexpected movement among the swaying branches. “It sounds so real.”

“Terrifying, really. I was just as concerned when they began, as well.” Petre gives you a tight smile and relaxes his grip slightly when you stop trying to pull away.

“What do you mean?” you question.

“What?” Petre’s eyes flash around quickly, looking through the woods that surround you.

“‘When they began’. What do you mean by that?”

“Ah,” Petre replies. “When mating season began.”

There’s no more discussion on the eerily accurate sound of a woman in distress. You can only trust that Petre would know the local fauna and their habits better than you, since you’ve never spent an extended period of time in areas such as this.

***

The neighbor’s house finally comes into view. A lone figure stands silhouetted against the porch as they lean against the railings, their arms braced against the banister and posture rigid. When you get closer, you realize that the figure is Bucky.

You can’t see his face, but you can feel his eyes on you. And apparently Petre can as well.

“He doesn’t like me?” Petre asks.

“Why do you say that?” The question puzzles you because Bucky has no reason to dislike Petre. He’s been incredibly helpful so far, allowing you to ask as many questions as you want about himself and others and he doesn’t seem bothered by it at all. In fact, you feel as if you and Petre have become friends.

“It just seems like he’s never happy to see me.”

“Oh, don’t worry about that – James just has RBF,” you reply nonchalantly.

“RBF?” Petre replies.

You laugh as you and Petre climb the stairs, only now realizing that he still has a hand on your arm. You’d forgotten all about it, but you miss the slight warmth that permeated through your jacket when he removes his touch. You turn to look at him, but Petre is looking away, his hands now deep in his pockets. Turning your focus onto Bucky, you see him watching Petre, his eyes squinted.

A large smile returns to your face as you reach up and grab Bucky’s chin, squishing his cheeks and making his lips pucker from the pressure. “This –” you say triumphantly, “is an RBF.”

Bucky glares down at you and swats your hand away. You cackle at the perfect example of Resting Bitch Face™ in front of you, throwing your head back in joy. When you right your posture again, you can see a small smile on Bucky’s face as he laughs along with you.

“Whatever,” he murmurs. He shakes his head in exasperation before circling his arm around your shoulders. Bucky begins dragging you back down the steps you had just ascended and you grunt in protest. “It’s time to go,” he says simply.

“Ugh, you’re so rude,” you say to him. Craning your neck as much as possible, you look back towards Petre who remains on the porch. “I’ll see you later!” you call backwards with a wave. Petre raises a hand in return, face hidden in shadow as Bucky’s had been.

Focusing back on the road in front of you, you can practically feel what little mirth Bucky had drains away. Looking up, you notice that his jaw is clenched and a hard look has entered his eye.

“What’s wrong?” Now you’re worried that something happened to Bucky while you were gone that has put him in a bad mood. Did someone say something to him? Did one of the women reject his advances? You can’t see who in their right mind would turn him down, but not everyone feels the same way about him as you do. But if it’s the latter, the guilt you feel only slightly outweighs the relief.

“You don’t think you’re spendin’ too much time with him?” Bucky says between clenched teeth.

A frown appears between your eyebrows as you continue to look up at him. “No?” you respond. “He doesn’t seem to mind.”

“Ofcoursehedoesn’t,” Bucky mutters under his breath, but you can still hear him.

You slide out from under Bucky’s hold, his agitation sparking flames of your own. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You don’t think you’re leadin’ him on a bit, Y/N?” Bucky asks you.

You scoff. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

“You’re always hangin’ around him!” Bucky quips back. “You’re flirting with him and walking out of parties together. All these people, Petre included, are going to think you’re pitching for an engagement.”

The hurt and pitiful feelings from earlier tonight come flooding back. Only this time, instead of feeling them for what they are, you combine them with the anger his comment brings. How dare he accuse you of leading Petre on? As if he isn’t doing the same thing to all those girls?!

“And what about you?!” you yell, the last word ripping its way between your lips and setting your tongue ablaze. “You don’t think you’re stringing all these girls along behind you? You don’t have any intention of getting into a relationship with any of them, either, do you?”

As the words escape, you remember how Bucky sat you down and asked for a friends-with-benefits situation. Said he wasn’t ready for a real relationship, but tired of one night stands. How the two of you could help each other out since you weren’t seeing anyone either. The old resentment towards yourself and how you let yourself fall for someone wholly unavailable whiplashes back into your mind after months of repressing it.

If he could ask that of you, does that mean he’s asked someone else? You usually arrive home later than him, but on some occasions that you are released early, he’s not there. Instead of asking where he’s been, you had just let it slide since it could have been construed as possessiveness. Like your feelings – that Bucky believes to be long gone – entitle you to his life. You hadn’t wanted to risk anything at the time, but now your mind can’t help running wild at the possibilities.

“It’s not like I’m screwing his brains out every time we’re gone!” You shout at Bucky. You had been walking down the road away from the house party which was on a street with few homes, so there’s nobody around to hear your fight. “We’re not in the bathrooms having quickies, he’s not fucking me against a wall, or bending me over his motorcycle! He hasn’t proposed we fuck around with each other until someone better comes along!”

Your chest heaves with the effort of expelling these vicious words from deep within your heart, and you can feel a burning beginning to creep behind your eyes. You hate getting angry – hate that any strong emotion makes your eyes well with tears and makes you look weak. And in this situation, you are weak – weak against Bucky, weak against yourself, weak against the knowledge that the one man you’ve ever loved never felt the same way and never will. Your inability to keep yourself from falling for someone you knew you could never have? Your jealousy that he is probably sleeping with one or more of the women in town? That makes you weak.

And you can’t stand to be weak in front of Bucky again.

“Newsflash, Buck: I know how it feels to be lead on by you and it fucking sucks!” You lower your voice slightly and take another step away from him. “I know that wasn’t your intention, and I didn’t feel that way at first, but that’s how I feel now.”

“You were my best friend, Y/N – I didn’t want to lose that!” Bucky exclaims. “And I genuinely thought we were on the same page!” He takes a deep breath and clasps his hands over his eyes before saying, “And seeing you run off with Petre all the time just reminds me of us – how we’d always sneak away to get some time alone. It’s just –” He drops his hands and sighs heavily, looking up at the star-studded sky and then back down to you. “I’m jealous.”

“You’re jealous?” You ask incredulously. “Why?”

“Because –” You can tell that he’s struggling to get this out, and if he hadn’t started this argument and accused you of wronging Petre, you might have been more receptive to what he’s saying. More understanding. But right now, your anger swallows all empathy and hope that his words would usually supply. “Because that could have been us,” he breathes. Bucky takes a tentative step in your direction, but freezes solid at the icy glare you send his way.

“No,” you say flatly, “No, it couldn’t have. You made that abundantly clear when I asked.”

You turn your back on him and start running, ignoring the sound of your name as you leave Bucky behind.

Part 10

Taglist: @jackiehollanderr @rabbitrabbit12321 @12345sebby @blackwood-bodecker-housewifeife @lauraashley93 @themorningsunshinee @happinessinthebeingg @nash-dara @calwitch @stany0url0calwh0res111 @pono-pura-vida @learisa @introverbatim @kentokaze @marvelogic @kaz11283

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x y/n #bucky fanfic #sorry i love you

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pedrito-friskito · 2 years ago

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strawberry wine - joel miller x fem!reader

before - part four

series masterlist | main masterlist | read on ao3

it’s almost the end of the summer, and everything is about to change.

a/n: pls don’t yell at me too much (also for full effect, listen to Still by Noah Kahan - it came on while I was writing this and I burst into tears….)

word count: 4.5k

warnings: MY BLOG IS 18+, MINORS DNI, angst, fluff, unprotected p-in-v, oral (m and f receiving), intense sex, confessions and hard conversations, I apologize but for the sake of the plot we must persevere!

✨follow @friskito-library and turn on notifications for updates on new works/chapters✨

You’re not expecting the knock at the door.

It’s nearly three weeks now, since your night at Joel’s house. The following days were nothing short of blissful, keeping up your almost-daily coffee routine, stolen kisses in the hardware store, another dinner at a different restaurant after Joel swung a job that paid him nicely. You took him to the movies, sat in the back corner of the dark theatre and let him stick his tongue down your throat when your minds started to wander away from the screen. When he could, he stopped by in the morning to drive you to work, picked you up on his way home when your schedules matched.

Your meeting Tommy comes as a surprise; he followed Joel into the store one day, the pair of the arguing about something or other. Joel had stopped short when he spotted you at the end of the aisle, and you hadn’t notice the brothers standing there until Tommy loudly declared, “That’s her! Isn’t it? That’s gotta be her!”

Before you really knew what was happening, you were being swept up into a bear hug, nearly lifted off your feet with the force, and meeting Joel’s sympathetic eyes over his brother’s shoulder.

“Tommy Miller,” he introduced himself after putting you back on your feet. You shook his hand with a laugh, offering your own name, and he grinned broadly. There was definitely a resemblance between the brothers, Tommy’s hair a few shades darker, his shoulders not as broad, his face handsome in a different way than Joel, but handsome all the same. “I gotta thank you, honey,” he told you, still gripping your hand with both of his. “My brother has not been able to shut up about you, never seen him so happy.”

Over his shoulder, you saw Joel go bright red, rubbing the back of his neck. “Tommy.”

“Am I wrong?” his brother shot back, tugging on your hand and tucking you under his shoulder. You just laughed, resting your hand against his back. “Not that I blame you, brother. She’s just as pretty as you said.” He looked down at you with a broad grin. “You are very pretty.”

You sputtered on another laugh. “Thank you, Tommy.”

Joel glared at his brother. “Go find the plaster, would you?” he grumbled, and grabbed for you, tucking both arms around you and shoving at his brother’s shoulder.

As soon as Tommy disappeared into the next aisle, Joel glanced left and right to make sure the coast was clear, and then his mouth covered yours, a hot kiss that had your toes curling in your shoes. He crowded you up against the paint cans you’d been rearranging, curling his hands along the edge of the shelves while you cupped his face in your hands, scratching your nails through his beard.

“My stupid fuckin’ brother,” he grumbled in your ear, and you giggled when he kissed your neck, teeth nipping slightly. “Spillin’ all my secrets.”

“He seems sweet,” you replied, giggling harder when his hands pinched at your ribs, tickling you. “Joel!”

That had been a week ago, and you’re standing in the kitchen, musing over the moment, your heart still racing over the phone call you’d received when you got home, when you hear the knock. Your mind is a mess, a slur of memories and whispers and feelings.

You school your face into something happier than you’re feeling when you open the door, a bright-eyed Joel Miller standing on your front porch, his truck idling by the curb, hands stuffed into his pockets.

“Wanna go for a drive?”

You nod wordlessly, grabbing your cellphone and your keys and walking out of the house, locking the door behind you. He gives you a soft kiss before tugging you down the porch steps, fitting you under his arm, fingers toying with the shoulder of your — his — shirt.

“I’m never gettin’ this back, am I?”

“Not on your life, Miller,” you reply, forcing a grin.

He chuckles quietly as he opens the passenger door for you. Your eyes dart to the backseat as you get in, the bench seat piled with pillows and blankets and a six-pack of beer.

“What’s all that?” you ask, gesturing towards the back as he gets into the driver’s seat. A broad grin spreads across his mouth as he shifts into drive, pulling away from the curb.

“Some place I wanna show you.”

You’re both quiet as he drives, your hands linked together on the gearshift, the Led Zeppelin cassette you’d bought him playing low over the truck’s speakers. Your eyes wander; the dark sky ahead, the blur of streetlights and traffic lights as he takes you out of the suburbs. Joel turns the truck away from the city when he reaches the highway, the bright lights giving way to telephone poles and occasional houses, sprawling farmland and wide open spaces.

Your gaze always seems to come back to him, the way his eyes are glued to the road ahead, the way he occasionally lifts your links hands and kisses your knuckles, the way he hums along with the song that’s playing. It does nothing to ease the ache in your chest, and you slump sideways a little, leaning your head on his shoulder as he drives.

It’s a long time before he pulls down a dirt road, trees lining either side for about a mile before cutting off, revealing giant fields, dotted with trees. He stops the truck in a large clearing, the wheels kicking up dust as he hits the brakes, cuts the engine. “C’mon, darlin’.”

You’re speechless as you slide out of the truck, your gaze immediately pulled upwards. The sky is dark and bigger than you’ve ever felt it, a perfect ombré from black to navy to a lighter shade of blue towards the horizon. The moon hangs bright above you, a perfect crescent shape smudged with a few clouds in an otherwise clear sky.

And the stars.

The sight makes you cover your mouth with your hands, your eyes wide and lined with tears as you stare up at them. You’ve never seen so many of them, the light pollution from the city always blocking most of them out. But here? You can see every single one.

You almost jump when Joel comes up behind you, slipping his arms around your waist and tugging you back against his chest. He pecks your cheek softly before straightening, resting his chin on top of your head and staring up with you. “Really is somethin’, isn’t it?”

“Joel, it’s beautiful,” you whisper, leaning back into him, revelling in his warmth. “How did you find this spot?”

“Tommy told me about it, actually,” he murmurs, his mouth against the crown of your head. “Told him I wanted to bring you somewhere special and he brought me out here. As soon as I saw it, I knew I had to bring you.”

You shake your head slowly, unable to pull your eyes from the night sky, a new star appearing every time you blink. You can make out different constellations, the North Star, the few planes dotting the atmosphere.

“C’mon,” Joel whispers, squeezing you softly. “Let’s get comfy.”

It doesn’t take long, the pair of you gathering the pillows and blankets from the backseat and piling them into the truck’s empty bed. You sit quietly for a while, Joel cracking open a beer for each of you, you sitting between his spread knees, leaning back against his chest.

You’re half-sure he can hear the way your breathing shakes, see the way your hands twitch when he threads his fingers with yours. You chew the inside of your cheek until it bleeds, the beer making pain spark the inside of your mouth, but it’s nothing compared to the ache in your chest, the heaviness that’s set up shop.

You have to tell him.

You turn to look at him, but before you can get a word out, he’s kissing you, diving his hand into your hair, pressing his mouth to yours. You can’t help but sigh into it, sinking into the delicious warmth he offers, the taste you’re trying to commit to memory, the feeling of safety and comfort that always seems to find you when he’s around.

“Joel, wait, I—” you start, but words tumble out of his mouth before you can stop him.

“I’m falling in love with you,” he says, his voice soft, a low rumble that seeps into your chest, doubles the ache that’s already there, the happy-mixed-with-sad that lines your eyes with tears. He sees them, you know he does, because he adjusting himself instantly, your face between his hands, swiping the tear from your cheek as it falls. “Baby, what’s wrong? I-I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have—”

“I have to tell you something,” you murmur, your voice cracking on the words, and your heart nearly snaps in two at the expression on his face, the furrowed brow and the concerned glint in his eyes.

You applied for the internship in Boston fresh out of college. One of your professors recommended you for the position, you did the interview before moving to Austin, and when you hadn’t heard back after a few weeks, you let yourself forget about it, content to spend your summer with your family, to figure your life out later. You still had time; you didn’t have to get it all figured out yet.

But then…

“They called me today,” you tell him, sinking back as his hands slowly drop, leaving your skin tingling where he’d been touching you. “They had a last minute opening, someone backed out, and they said it’s mine if I want it. I…” You trail off, shaking your head, dropping it back on your shoulders and staring up at the beautiful sky he’s shown you. “I don’t know what to do, Joel.”

When you finally find the strength to look at him again, you’re surprised your heart doesn’t burst from your chest. He has his fist pressed to his mouth, other arm resting on his knee, his eyes boring into you. There are tears in them, his lashes clumped together beneath his eyes, and you bottom lip quivers.

“I never expected you,” you say quietly, feeling another hot tear slide down your cheek. “I never anticipated coming here and meeting you, falling for y—”

He cuts you off, his hand flashing out and curling around the back of your neck, pulling you into his arms. You go willingly, collapsing into his chest with a sob, curling your hands in the fabric of his t-shirt. You stay like that for a long while, Joel rocking you side to side, one hand rubbing shapes between your shoulder blades. Face pressed into the curve of his neck, you cry until the collar of his shirt is soaked, the unfairness of it all crawling up your throat each time you think you’re okay.

Finally, you get the question out. “What are we gonna do, Joel?”

He tugs on your hair lightly, making you tilt your head back against his shoulder, so he can see your face. The streaks of wet on his cheek makes you whimper, reaching up and rubbing your thumb through the trails. “We’re gonna keep doin’ what we’re doin’,” he tells you, his mouth twitching as he scratches his nails against your scalp. “We’ve got the rest of the summer, right?” You nod, fresh tears filling your eyes. “And then you’re gonna go to Boston. I won’t let you throw this away, baby, not for me.”

“Joel—” you start to protest, but he quiets you with a soft kiss, thumb pressed to your cheek.

“No, baby,” he murmurs, lifting his jaw and kissing your forehead next. “It’ll be okay. Won’t let you go until I have to, you hear me?”

He stays true to his word.

The rest of the summer is spent in each other’s company, every chance you get. You go to bars with him and Tommy some evenings, spend more nights in the bed of Joel’s truck, staring up at the stars. He keeps up appearances at the hardware store, still kisses you with the same insistence he had before you told him about Boston.

There’s something different between you, you know. A sort of anticipation, both of you waiting for the other shoe to drop, but adamant to enjoy the time you have left. There are evidently more tears, but Joel does his best to kiss them away, and you let yourself get a little lost in him, refusing to count the days, just savouring every moment you have.

You meet Sarah accidentally. You thought Joel had said six, he thought seven, and when you knock on the Miller’s front door, you’re more than surprised when Sarah opens the door, her head cocked to the side, eyes that are a dead ringer for Joel’s peering at you.

“Who are you?”

Joel appears behind his daughter a moment later, balking at you slightly as he puts a hand on her shoulder. “Honey, this is my…” He pauses, searching for the right word.

You stick out your hand, offering it to Sarah, along with your name. “I’m a good friend of your dad’s,” you say, the word making you want to cry, but you school your face into a smile. “You know the hardware store down on Main Street?”

Sarah perks up, her eyes shining up at you as Joel moves her to the side to let you in. “Next to the ice cream parlour?”

The next smile you have is genuine. “That’s the one.”

She warms up to you quickly, talking a mile a minute, insisting she show you her soccer trophy and disappearing up the stairs to go get it. Joel grabs your hand once she’s out of sight, tugging you against his chest and kissing your cheek. “You didn’t have to say that,” he mumbles, and you knock your forehead lightly into his. “I could have—”

“No,” you reply, shaking your head. “It’ll just confuse her; I don’t want that.”

He nods, agreeing with you, but the sadness in his eyes makes your chest ache.

“Here it is!” Sarah declares as she bounds down the stairs, the gold trophy shining in the kitchen light. You and Joel nearly spring apart, and you gasp as animatedly as you can.

Tommy arrives a half hour later to take Sarah, and you nearly fall over when she throws her arms around your waist, hugging you goodbye after Joel pecks her on the head. “Bye!”

“Bye, Sarah,” you say, and as soon as she’s out the door with Tommy, you sink into the kitchen chair, putting your face in your hands. Joel sinks into a crouch in front of you, a warm hand on your knee, rubbing a slow circle.

“Baby,” he murmurs, and you collapse forward, throwing your arms around his neck.

“I don’t wanna go,” you tell him.

It’s tomorrow. Your time is up, the summer almost officially over. The lease on your new apartment in Boston starts at midnight, and you’re leaving late in the morning, the two-day trek to your new city already making you anxious. Your stuff is already packed, a few boxes already loaded into the truck of your car, proof that this is actually happening. But knowing you’re leaving him? That hits harder.

“I know, darlin’,” he drawls in your ear, a crack to his voice that makes you sob. He puts both arms around your torso, and your legs wrap around his middle, ankles locked against his back. You keep your face buried in his throat as he lifts you, hands under your ass as he turns towards the stairs, carries you up them.

You stand in the centre of his bedroom a moment later, chewing at your thumb as he walks to the window, pulls the drapes until just a sliver of sunlight fits through them. The sun is already starting to set, the days growing shorter, and the thought of winter in Boston, winter without Joel to keep you warm, brings fresh tears to your eyes.

“Hey,” he says softly, reaching out to cup your jaw as he comes to stand in front of you, catching your gaze and holding it. “Don’t think about tomorrow, yeah? Just be with me. Please?”

You just nod.

It’s slow, slower than you’ve yet to have him. Clothes come off a piece at a time, hands mapping out bare skin as soon as it’s revealed, mouth pressed to the curves of bones and the slopes of muscles. You memorize the pattern of his freckles, the smatter along his neck, the few that dot his cheeks. He holds you in his arms, kisses every inch of your face, catching your tears on his tongue, murmuring softly to you that it’s okay.

That he loves you.

“You don’t have to say it back,” he told you, a few days after you told him about Boston. He was holding your hand, the two of you cuddled together on his couch, his thumb rubbing your knuckles. “I don’t expect you to, or anythin’, I just…I just want you to know.”

But you couldn’t stop yourself from saying it then, and you can’t stop it now. It bubbles up out of you, want and need and desperation heavy on your tongue as you hold each other. Passion hangs in the air like electricity, sparking brighter with every move you make.

You revel in every single moment, when he spreads you out on his bed, the mattress familiar beneath you, you commit it to memory, the way he looks between your knees, the bulk of his frame, the way his hair is messy from your fingers, the way his eyes stay glued to yours as he touches you, rubs his thumb over your nerves, laves his tongue over your heat.

You return it in kind, pushing him down on the mattress after he’s made you cum twice, once on his fingers, then again on his tongue. He groans when you push his thighs wide, making a home for yourself between them, nipping at every bit of skin you can reach. He locks both hands in your hair when you take his cock in your mouth, fingers curling around the bit you can’t fit. The salty taste of him is welcome, and you refuse to let up, letting him hit the back of your throat, bobbing your head until he’s cumming down your throat, hot and thick.

You catch your breath for a few minutes, crawling up his body, hooking your knee over his hip as he holds you, kisses you, brushes the hair from your face. “My pretty baby,” he murmurs, and you do your best to ignore the twinge in your chest, “beautiful girl.”

It’s not long until he’s hard again, your kisses and moans and touches bringing his body back to life. He pulls you on top of him completely, pushes himself into you. You grip the headboard with both hands, sighing when he leans up and bites at your nipple. He starts slow, his hands on your hips guiding you along him, the feeling sparking up your spine just this side of not enough.

“Tell me, baby,” he grunts at you, one hand dropping slightly, giving you a light spank that makes you jolt, clenching down on him. “You want it harder?”

“Yes,” you beg, breathing his air as his pace slows almost completely. “Joel, baby, please.”

“C’mere.” He pulls at your arms, yanks you down until you’re chest to chest. Then he plants his feet on the mattress, one arm around your waist, the other banded around your shoulders, hand in your hair.

He fucks you hard, hips pistoning up into you, slamming his cock deep, hitting against that gummy spot that makes your entire body quake. You’ve never cum as hard as you do, your entire body going completely taut for one blinding moment, your blood turned to flame in a drawn-out instant. He nips at your lips, up your jaw, nibbles at your earlobe.

“That’s my girl,” he grunts. “Fuckin’ made for me, weren’t you?”

You nod frantically, your eyes hazy, every single one of your nerves prickled with pleasure as he keeps hammering into you. You don’t want this to stop, it can’t stop, please don’t ever let it stop—

A flash, and you’re flipped on your back, his cock still pressed so deep you can feel it in your throat. You grip him hard, nails digging into his hips so hard you’re half sure you’re going to draw blood, but he doesn’t seem to care. He just keeps going, bracing one arm over your head, mashing his mouth to yours as he drives into you, his brow furrowed.

You feel him shudder, feel that spread of warmth through your lower half, hear him murmur your name. Feel your heart shatter into a million pieces when he kisses you softly, drags the tip of his nose against yours, murmurs those three words again.

Neither of you move, for a long while. You stay there, him still pressed inside you, your legs spread around his body, your arms folded around his neck. Soft kisses are shared, quiet sweet nothings traded until your eyes fill with tears again.

“It’s okay, baby,” he tells you, catching your tears on his thumb, pressing his mouth to your jaw. “It’s gonna be okay.”

You’re starting to wonder who he’s trying to convince.

“Tommy agreed to take Sarah for the night,” Joel tells you when you return from the bathroom, one of his t-shirts covering your upper half. “So you can stay,” he pauses, rubs his hand up the back of his head, “if you want to.”

You throw yourself back into his bed, curling around him. “Of course I want to.”

Your eyes blink open the next morning, and the dread sinks in completely.

Joel’s breath is hot on the nape of your neck. He’s sprawled on his back, one arm extended beneath your head. You turn immediately, curling into his side, pressing your face into his neck. “Mmm,” he grumbles, putting both arms around you, turning his mouth against your forehead. “Your nose is cold.”

“You’re just warm,” you grumble back, kissing his throat, letting your hand roam his chest, over his stomach.

You rub your palm across his hips, and he groans, lifting his hand to bury it in your hair. “D’we have time?” he asks, his voice thick with sleep, and you lift your head, bleary eyes squinting at the alarm clock.

“Yeah,” you tell him, settling back against him. “We have time.”

He makes love to you. Every moment is a slow drag, the complete opposite of the fast and rough you’d had the night before. But somehow, it’s exactly what you need, feeling him deeper, holding him closer. You’re memorizing every moment, every rise and dip to his outline, the way his mouth tastes, the way he moves.

You don’t want to let go, but you know you have to.

You make breakfast together, toaster waffles and coffee, sat at his kitchen table with quiet conversation. After you’ve eaten, you get dressed, stealing another flannel from his closet, a light blue with white and grey. “You stealin’ more of my clothes?” he asks, coming up behind you, kissing the side of your neck.

“I’ll give the other one back,” you reply, doing up the buttons. “Gotta take a little piece of you with me.”

“Keep ‘em both,” he murmurs against your skin, squeezing your hip. “They’re yours.”

You stomach is in knots as you leave Joel’s, as he drives the short distance from his house to yours. Your arms are wrapped around one of his, your face pressed against his shoulder. “All your stuff packed?” he asks, and you nod, biting back the tears that are already starting to form. He parks at the curb, cuts the engine, and lifts his arm, letting you slide under it, bringing you close to him. He kisses your temple, inhaling deeply, and you just sit there for a while, arms wrapped around each other, breathing slow.

It’s slow, as you get out of the truck. He opens the door for you like always, and when you’re reluctant to get out, he grabs your legs and drags you to the edge of the seat, letting you wrap your limbs around him as he lifts you out. He sets you on your feet on the curb, his brow lifting as he turns back to the truck. “I have somethin’ for you.”

You let out a little laugh as he reaches into the backseat and produces a silver baseball bat, a bright red bow wrapped around the handle. “What’s this for?” you ask, unable to stifle your giggles as he hands it to you.

“Boston’s a big city,” he mumbles, lifting a shoulder. “Keep it by your bed or something, just in case.” He reaches out, fingers on your cheek. “Keep yourself safe, yeah?”

You swing the bat lightly, a quick flick of your wrist. “Thank you.”

He blushes a little, opening his arms again when you lean the bat against the truck, stepping back into his embrace. You bury yourself in his chest, arms tight around his waist. “I’ll try and visit,” he says into your hair, inhaling lightly. Tears spring in your eyes again; you appreciate the sentiment, but you don’t expect him to drive cross-country, not when he has Sarah and his life and his job. And you know he couldn’t afford the plane ticket.

“I’ll be home at Christmas, hopefully,” you whisper back, and he nods.

“Call me when you get there?” he asks, and you lift your head to look at him. “And when you stop for the night.”

“Yes, Joel.”

“Don’t let those corporate assholes work you too hard and…” His voice drops, and you lift a hand to cup his cheek, your thumb riding edge of his beard. “Don’t forget about this, please? About us.”

“Can’t do that,” you tell him, a sad smile on your lips. A memory buzzes in the back of your hand, the two of you stood opposite sides of the counter at the hardware store. The worry of rejection crawling up the back of your throat when you’d boldly offered your number, when you told him you could just forget what had happened. Can’t do that.

“Maybe someday…” he starts, trailing off and you just nod, repeating his words.

He kisses you then, both arms tight around you, his mouth warm and tasting of toothpaste and that mistakable Joel Miller taste you know you won’t soon forget. He kisses you until you’re not quite sure where he ends and you begin, but you don’t care. You’re half sure your parents are watching from the window, but you don’t care.

It’s a long time before either of you pulls back, holding on as long as you possibly can.

“Take care of yourself, baby,” he mumbles in your ear, and you squeeze your eyes shut, holding him as tightly as you can.

“You, too.”

And then, two years later, nearly to the day, the world implodes.

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#my fics #strawberry wine #joel miller #joel miller fic #joel miller x you #joel miller x reader #joel miller smut #joel miller fluff #joel miller angst #the last of us #the last of us fic #the last of us spoilers

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if-lost-please-return-to-maliksi · 1 year ago

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After a girls night with Maliksi ~

Disclaimer: I do not own Maliksi and Makisig - Full Credit goes to HC - @ask-emilz-de-philz. Please check out their blog for amazing art and the wonderful world of Planet Puto.. All involved characters are adults. This might or might not be a self insert, please don't come for me.

Genre: Fluff

THIS WILL BE SHORT GUYSSS, BUT IT'S SO FLUFFY HEHEHE

"We're borrowing Y/n!"

A group of Makisig's ladies suddenly barged into your room giggling before dragging you away from Maliksi who has his head resting on your lap a few seconds ago.

"C'mon! Y'all just had a sleep over last week!" Maliksi protested as he sat back up with a frown on his face.

"It's girls night! You can have your Kuya Maki, he's already setting up your games in the living room." One of the girls said before tossing Maliksi a whole bag of MM's.

"Tch. I'll pick Y/n up at 9pm."

"What is she, a teenager?" The lady sighed and rolled her eyes before tossing Maliksi another bag of chocolate.

"Okay, make that 11pm."

"Bunso, can't you stay still?" Makisig softly chuckled as he noticed how Maliksi is just restless while they both play videogames. The younger tamawo just grumbled after being KO'd in the game once again.

"Pfft. Please don't tell me you can't concentrate when Y/n is not beside you." Makisig liked teasing his lil brother. It's funny to see him scrunch his face in an attempt to find the perfect excuse-

"Maybe."

Makisig's eyes widen before he broke out in soft laughter as he ruffles Maliksi's hair. Never in a hundred years did he expect his younger brother to be acting like this towards a human.

"Oh, did my girls asked you properly before taking Y/n away?"

"Huh? What do you mean properly?"

"They didn't tell you that they'll be drinking? One of them requested for some liquor so they can have a little party tonight."

"What? No! They didn't tell me-"

Before Maliksi can continue what he was saying, Makisig's phone notification lit up. It was one of the girls sending him a message:

"We can hear your lil brother's voice in here. Y/n is fine."

Attached to the message is a short video of Y/n giggling with the other ladies- her face is all cutely flushed from being slightly drunk and her eyes slightly half lidded.

She's adorable.

Maliksi can feel his face heating up and his ears turning red upon seeing the video. "Kuya, can you send that to me? Pleaseee?"

Makisig just ended up laughing as he sends the video to his younger brother.

The two brothers continued playing for hours before one of the girls approached them. "Y/n fell asleep. She can spend the night with us-"

"No. I'm taking her back."

Without missing a beat, Maliksi was already standing on his feet and walking towards the room, spotting you curled up in the couch right away. He walked straight towards you, brushing your hair away from your face before gently lifting you up in his arms and carrying you. "Come on, beautiful. Time for bed."

You smiled at him before nuzzling into the crook of his neck as he carries you to your bedroom. Maliksi softly chuckled at the gesture, finding it utterly cute.

He gently put you down on the bed before grabbing a wet towel and some change of clothes. Maliksi started taking off your clothes, pressing a kiss on your bare shoulders as he started wiping your body off with the towel.

"Lift your hair up for me." Maliksi softly said as he wipes around your neck and chest. "There we go."

"Thank you." You softly whispered while trying to sit still as possible. Once you were feeling much more comfortable, Maliksi helped you slip into your pajamas. "How are you feeling? Not too dizzy?"

"Hmm. Sleepyyy~"

Maliksi softly chuckled. "I can see that, Y/n. Let's sleep."

He turned off the lights before pulling you under the covers and wrapping his arms around your body. You snuggled closer to him, burying your face into his chest. "Goodnight, Maliksi."

"Goodnight, Y/n."

Art by: @ask-emilz-de-philz that's their OC, Maliksi the Tamawo. Please support them <3

SERVING MALIKSI FLUFF AT FREAKIN' 1AM COZ YYY NOT? HEHE~

#planet puto #philmytcrea #planetputo #rp tamawo #maliksithetamawo #rp maliksi #writers on tumblr #ianewrites #I LOV HIM SO MUCH #IMAGINE BEING LOVED BY HIM #NO #IMAGINE ITTTTT

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heymacy · 9 months ago

Note

Macy!! Hi!!

Thoughts on YQHBR Ian booping Mickey? <3

DRISH! HI!!!

boy oh boy do i have thoughts. in fact, i even wrote a little something about it 😉 i give you, YQHBR: boop edition

Mickey stretches, twists his torso and legs like he’s wringing out a sponge. Bleary eyes blink awake, squinting against the sunlight beaming through his window.

He sighs. Good morning.

It’s April 1st. The day of fools. He already feels like a fool, if he’s being honest, every day of his life. But that’s something he can sort through later. Right now he has some catching up to do.

He rolls over in bed and grabs his laptop where it rests on the dresser. He pulls it into his lap, flipping open the screen and waiting for it to light up. When it does, it’s less than a minute before he’s logged into tumblr.

What….what the fuck?

There’s something new on his screen, right at the very top. It isn’t an ad, at least he doesn’t think so. He clicks it, hesitant, and nothing happens.

Hm. Strange.

He decides to consult the one tumblr expert he knows.

fcku-up: what the fuck is this thing on my dash eternitysgate: good morning to you too, sunshine

It’s been a week and a half since they’d started talking. They were friends now — not IRL, but something close — and talked nearly every day. It was becoming an integral and beloved part of Mickey’s daily routine.

Ian had been on tumblr longer than anyone Mickey knew. Except maybe Cassie. But he wanted to talk to Ian.

eternitysgate: it’s called boop eternitysgate: i think it’s an april fools thing eternitysgate: they do something like this almost every year eternitysgate: one year you could spam people’s pages with digital crabs fcku-up: crabs? eternitysgate: yep. little orange crabs fcku-up: lovely fcku-up: so what do i do? eternitysgate: click “opt in”

Mickey does as he’s told. Waits. A few minutes later, he checks his notifications.

eternitysgate, staysmashed, oliviasmiddlepart, and 6 others boop boop boop

He takes a screenshot, crops it, and sends it to Ian.

fcku-up: explain eternitysgate: lmao eternitysgate: who else booped you?

Mickey checks. Cassie twice, Victor, Liv, Zoe, and Ian 4 times.

fcku-up: you, mostly eternitysgate: excellent 😇 eternitysgate: now you boop back fcku-up: this is silly eternitysgate: boop me back, bitch 👊🏻 fcku-up: 🙄 eternitysgate: go to my blog, click the little paw. but don’t accidentally unfollow me or i’ll cry for a thousand years fcku-up: 🖕🏻

Mickey clicks on Ian’s username and opens his blog. There, in the navigation section, is a little orange paw. He clicks it.

You’re about to boop eternitysgate

And then, below it, in a purple oval,

boop

He sighs. Clicks it. A tiny green box shows up at the bottom of the screen, altering him to the fact that his boop had been sent through.

eternitysgate: BOOP BOOP BITCH fcku-up: you are a child eternitysgate: I AM A GOD eternitysgate: you don’t understand mick, i’ve been doing this for an hour and a half and i’ve never felt more alive fcku-up: happy for you eternitysgate: oh come on, you know you love it eternitysgate: now go boop cassie back or she’ll come whining to me about it fcku-up: FINE 🙄

It’s been two hours and, much like Ian, Mickey has never felt more alive. He’s been booping almost the entire time, his meter ticking up, up, up. He’s booping friends, mutuals, strangers, people he’s seen in his notifications and people he’s never seen before in his life. Anyone and everyone.

He and Ian are in what the user base has declared a “boop war” — flooding each other with boops, not caring if the other person boops back first. It’s madness and Mickey can’t stop laughing.

There are memes now. Viral posts made mere minutes ago. He’s never seen anything like it, never been a part of anything like it.

eternitysgate: boop me again and i’ll fly to chicago and boop you IRL fcku-up: is that a threat or a promise? eternitysgate: both

Mickey bites back a grin.

eternitysgate: do you think they’re gonna keep this around after the day is done? fcku-up: idk, maybe fcku-up: part of me hopes they do eternitysgate: it would be a never-ending war eternitysgate: wake up every morning, ride into battle fcku-up: eventually you’d admit defeat eternitysgate: HA! not likely

It goes on like that for hours. They talk for the entire day. It isn’t all about boops, little tidbits slip in between the cracks – what did you have for lunch? how’s your sister? do you have to work tonight? – but the main focus is this inane game they’re playing, this innate sense of bonding they’re experiencing with each other and everyone else.

Mickey can’t help but feel like he’s a part of something, finally. In this game, and in the grand scheme of things. He has friends. Mutuals. People that want to engage with him. Acknowledge him.

To see and be seen.

The sun set ages ago. Mickey is beneath the covers, laptop on his thighs. He boops Cassie, then Liv. Then goes and super boops Ian, followed by an evil boop. He wishes there was something higher than an evil boop, but alas. He decides to send another.

eternitysgate: stop evil booping me you bastard fcku-up: never shoulda told me to opt in, bitch eternitysgate: god i’m gonna miss this fcku-up: they might keep it eternitysgate: in case they don’t, i just want to say – it’s been a pleasure booping with you 🫡

Mickey smiles. Rolls his eyes. Can’t help but find Ian, as always, painfully endearing.

fcku-up: you too, nerd

#IDK WHAT HAPPENED I BLACKED OUT #i miss them so much #and i miSS YOU DRISH I LOVE YOU SO MUCH and i love seeing you back on my dash #i hope y'all enjoy this one #maybe this is the motivation i need to get my ass back in gear and give y'all the final chapter + epilogue you deserve #we shall see #ANYWAY #ILY #BOOP #yqhbr

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lovemesomechenford · 2 years ago

Text

Starting Forever Now

Summary: Tim and Lucy got married. This is the story of how Mid Wilshire finds out they were dating in the first place.

Author’s note: This is the first fic I’ve ever written in my life. I got introduced and then addicted to exclusively reading Chenford AO3 and Tumblr blogs a year ago, and haven’t stopped reading since. I’ve had so many ideas and definitely offered up some prompts from time to time for other writers, but this is my firstborn. I thought of her (I guess it’s a her lol) in the shower early today and haven’t been able to put the idea down. I really hope y’all love reading the fic as much as I loved writing her. I decided not to beta her, so any advice on my writing is greatly appreciated. Kudos and comments are always welcomed as well.

Also posted on AO3: here!

--------------------------------------

Lucy goes into Adam Watch Commander Sergeant Grey’s office to request for a bunch of forms, including change of address, notification of a inter-departmental relationship, update on dependents, and change of badge name. Sgt Grey is hesitant and downright confused because last he heard, Lucy had broken up with ADA Sanford. Not sure why she would need any of these forms, especially since she’s single? Just then, a knock on his glass office door breaks him away from his thoughts. Looking up, he sees that it’s his Roaming Field Sergeant and longtime friend, Tim Bradford. Waving him in, Wade asks Tim if he knows anything about Lucy’s name change.

“Sergeant Bradford, Officer Chen was just telling me about needing a name change. Know anything about that?” Grey asks with a raised brow.

Tim and Lucy turn their heads to look at each other and smile softly before turning back to the Watch Commander. “Yes, sir.”

“And???” The older man waits.

“We got married—” “It’s Bradford—” They offer simultaneously. “Sir.”

“Oh. ” Before Grey can continue, he is interrupted by Lucy who is eager to explain.

“Sir, I can assure you nothing happened while Tim, Sergeant Bradford, was training me. Or when I was his aide. This change in our relationship is… recent.” The younger officer offers with a blush on her face.

“Oh?” His intrigue is peaked. “How recent?”

“I asked Lucy out on a date while you were in New York with Luna two weeks ago.” Tim pauses before saying, “and we had our first date the night after her first shift as a Detective Trainee.”

“And the name change and address change is for… ?”

“We got married on Monday.” Tim declares as he turns to look at Lucy with a marshmallow smile on his face.

Sergeant Grey can’t help but look a little stunned.

“Wow.” Sergeant Grey clasps his hands and walks towards the newlyweds to shake their hands, “Congratulations are in order! Although I have to say, that is a very fast turnaround. You’ll both definitely need to fill out a bunch of disclosure forms. HR and IA will both be in contact to ensure nothing improper occurred, but it shouldn’t be too much of an issue seeing as how Detective Trainee Bradford is no longer under your command Sergeant Bradford.”

“Thank you, sir.” Both beam. Once Tim and Lucy have shaken Sgt Grey’s hand, their hands hands drop to their sides and find each other to intertwine.

“Lucy, you need to update your dependents?”

“Yes sir, I do.” Lucy replied.

“Me too, please.” Tim added.

“If I can ask, who are you both adding?”

“Tamara, sir.” Lucy says before continuing, “We legally adopted her on Monday. We want to add our daughter as a beneficiary and emergency contact. Just in case. That way she is protected should anything happen to either or both of us on the job.”

“I understand. Luna and I love her - she is such a smart bright young lady. Congrats you two on your first addition to the family.”

“Thank you, Wade.” Tim says bashfully. “We love her very much.”

Sergeant Grey pulls out a file from his top drawer and grabs a few other forms from his filing cabinet.

“Okay, just complete those forms and get them back to me by next shift. HR and IA will probably reach out by end of week.”

Tim takes the pile of papers from the Watch Commander and opens the file jacket to find that the disclosure form is nearly complete, only missing their signatures and some dates. “Sir?”

Grey chuckles and crosses his arms. “I’ve been waiting for two years now for you and Ch- Bradford to start dating and disclose. I saw it coming from miles away. The two of you seemed to have that spark from the get-go and Tim here has been smiling a lot since Lucy joined Mid-Wilshire. Never thought you would go get hitched so quickly though.”

Lucy bashfully tilts her head downward in slight embarrassment. Her left hand, however, remains grasping Tim’s right.

“When you know your forever is staring right at you, why wait another day?” Tim says, looking down at his blushing wife. Lucy raises her head to gaze lovingly at her husband.

“Alright then. Congrats again. Dismissed.”

~~ MEANWHILE ~~

“Hey Angela! Have you seen Momford?” Tamara asks cheerfully as she walks towards Detective Angela Lopez in the bull pen at Mid Wilshire.

“Momford?”

“Yeah, Lucy? She texted saying she’s working in the precinct today and asked if we wanted to grab lunch at the food trucks. Have you seen her around?”

Lucy Chen was offered the Detective Trainee post by Detective Sergeant Caradine last week after providing valuable input on a bunch of open cases. She was stunned at first but eagerly accepted. It was a huge boost for her career. To no one’s surprise, she was thriving in the position. She brought a fresh air to the D’s Desk, and everyone loved and respected her - even veteran detectives listened when she spoke.

“Uhh I think she just went to see Sgt Grey.”

“Okay! Do you mind if I wait with you?”

“Not at all, kiddo” Angela responded, wrapping her in a side hug. “I do have a question though…”

Angela is so confused. Momford? Since when did Tamara call Lucy “mom”? She starts to ask the younger woman about it.

Tamara’s been calling Lucy “mom” to her friends for a long time now but only recently said it directly to Lucy herself. Lucy’s been someone she looked up to and felt protected and loved, especially after her so-called former friend killed their other friend. As Tamara continues to explain, it suddenly strikes Angela that the second half of the name is “-ford”. As in Brad-ford? TIM BRADFORD?!?!?! WHAT THE HECK?!

Angela’s clearly been in her head for a bit longer than she realizes because Tamara is looking at her like she’s suddenly grown two heads.

“Wait hold up, Tamara. The “mom” makes sense and is super sweet but why do you call her Momford? Why not Momchen or something? Lucy’s last name is Chen after all.” Angela inquired as she sipped her coffee.

“Um no it’s not.” Tamara answers exasperated.

Angela chokes on her drink and it comes sputtering out of her mouth. Tamara hands her the box of Kleenex on her desk.

“What?! What do you mean? Since when? What the hell is it?”

“Like two days ago? What’s the big deal? Did they not tell you guys?”

Two days ago… so Monday. Chen was off the last couple days and decided to change her last name. Huh weird. Angela thought.

“… they? Who’s they? And you didn’t answer my other question.”

“Yeah, Tim and Lucy.”

“Tim and Lucy.” Angela repeated. Tamara hesitantly nods her head a few times. “Why would Tim and Lucy need to tell me about Lucy’s name change?”

“Because they changed mine too?”

“To what?”

“Bradford!” Tamara says matter-of-factly. She’s beaming.

“Did they seriously not tell anyone yet? I honestly thought dad would’ve at least told you about it by now.”

“Dad.”

“Yeah, dad. Tim and Lucy finalized my adoption on Monday at the courthouse. It was super easy since I’m already 18 years old and they’re married.”

Angela blinks her eyes in rapid succession. Adoption. Married. It’s all a lot to process.

“Married?” Angela’s jaws are on the ground and Tamara just snickers.

Angela knew Tim had feelings for Lucy ever since the Vegas undercover operation. He danced around the question then but his behaviour told her all she needed to know. She’s not blind! She’s a detective and his best friend! Angela always knew there was something different with Tim and his former rookie Lucy. She had known it ever since Lucy was kidnapped and Tim had called for her help. "I need you." The grave tone in which he had said that sentence stuck with her. Angela suspected the frantic way Tim needed Lucy alive was not only due to guilt. Maybe he hadn’t realized it yet, and maybe it wasn’t romantically, but Lucy was important for him. She had watched them throughout the two last years and logged each little interaction but never approached either of them to address it. Angela had witnessed the faint brush of hands, the soft smiles and the general lack of personal space. She figured they just hadn’t pulled their heads out of their asses yet. Her best friend never told her they started dating, let alone got MARRIED? NO FREAKING WAY. HE IS SO DEAD.

Angela’s inner monologue is interrupted when Tamara spots her Momford and Dadford.

“Oh! Looks like they’re coming out of Grey’s office! I’ll see you later Angela, bye!” Tamara runs off towards the Watch Commander’s office.

Angela turns around and sure enough, Tim is opening the door for Lucy and following her out of it. Once they do, Tamara bulldozes the two into a hug. Tim and Lucy are laughing as they greet the girl. Sergeant Grey is in his office shaking his head and smiling.

Neither Tim or Lucy have noticed her so Angela continues to watch them as they slowly make their way towards the front doors. Tamara’s walking half-backwards and going off about something enthusiastically. Her hands are waving about the same way Lucy does when she gets excited. Tim’s grinning like Angela’s never seen him do and wraps his right arm around Lucy’s shoulder as they pass the stairs. It’s unexpected for Angela because Tim has never been the type to show physical affection at work. He’s always been very church and state about it. No personal talk in the shop or during work hours. Lucy gazes up at him, flashes her blinding smile and leans in as much as her duty belt will allow.

“YO BRADFORDS!” Angela yells across the bull pen, attracting the attention of the few cops around her and walking past.

Lucy and Tamara respond a little slower than Tim, but all three of them stop in their step to look towards the beckoning voice. Tim has one eyebrow raised with a knowing smirk, Lucy is blushing pink and Tamara is still beaming.

“Congrats on finally becoming a family! You idiots are coming over for dinner!”

Their audience bursts into hollers and applause as the newly appointed Bradfords simply nod their heads and continue towards the front doors.

#chenford #the rookie #tim bradford x lucy chen #Tim x Lucy x Tamara #family #first fic #read on ao3 #chenford fam is the best #chenfordedit #secret relationship #secret marriage #secret adoption #long time coming

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sommerflue-22 · 2 years ago

Text

SWIPE RIGHT | Armin Arlert x Reader

Part 1

One swipe to the right and you found yourself going on dates with Armin Arlert, loving how he treated you right. Who could possibly resist such a gentle and compassionate man? It's only a matter of time before he officially asked you to be his girlfriend...

Pairing(s): Armin Arlert x Fem!Reader

Warning: -

Word count: 2.3k

Author Note

Hi, guys! Some of you might have read this AU before on Tumblr. Apparently it was posted on my secondary blog? Which means I cannot interact with the comment and such, that's a bummer T^T So I took the post down and republished it here. I hope you enjoy the story and stay tuned for the next part! :3

It all started with a quick swipe to the right in your phone. He was one of the few people you swiped right on in that damn yellow dating app. You wouldn’t have downloaded the app in the first place if Sasha hadn’t told you to. After your messy break up with your last ex almost two years ago, you didn’t feel like finding someone else to date. However, once you came across the name “Armin”, you couldn’t help but swipe right. You scrolled down to read his profile. He appeared to be normal, almost too normal. You lost count of how many cringe-worthy men you’ve encountered there. Seeing his profile gave you a new hope that there were still men out there who were okay.

Lucky for you, Armin also swiped right. The chat was wonderful; you two had a lot in common. You found out that Armin was pursuing his master degree in Political Science at one of the most prestigious universities in your country. Fine art and literature were a few of his interests. A week after you both matched on the app, Armin began calling you. At first he only called for a maximum of ten to fifteen minutes, during which you both exchanged stories about your days. A month later, you received an unexpected text from him.

Would you like to meet up next Thursday?

“Say yes!” Sasha, who was with you at the time the notification popped up, squealed. “Ooh! Say yes, (Y/N)! So far he’s nice, right?”

“He’s a stranger, though.”

“You guys call each other almost every night; at this point he’s not a stranger. Not really.”

You left the text unanswered for several hours. After Sasha had left your apartment, you finally opened it and typed:

Sure. Just name the time and place :)

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

The days went by incredibly quickly. It was Thursday night, and you were standing outside your apartment building. Armin said he would pick you up at seven. You knew he was taking you to dinner, but you had no idea where. So, you dressed rather casually. Just a simple polo shirt, a tennis skirt, and some sneakers. Sasha urged you to dress more formally, but you refused. You didn’t really want to overdo it on your first date.

“But isn’t it a date?” Sasha motioned for you to put on one of her blazers and pants. “Come on, I bet Armin’s taking you somewhere fancy. He looks like some Mister Fancypants.”

“I don’t know, this might not be a date. I’ll just be out with a friend. A new friend.”

“Yeah, friend,” Sasha scoffed, rolling her eyes.

A pair of bright headlights appeared from a nearby crossroad, followed by a black convertible. You weren’t sure if it was Armin’s car, but it pulled over in front of your apartment. The front window rolled down and you saw Armin for the first time.

Armin smiled and quickly exited his car. You noticed he was around four inches taller than you and wore his blond hair in a long undercut with bangs. He’s dressed simply in a white button-up shirt with two of the top buttons undone.

“(Y/N), it’s a pleasure to meet you!” Armin walked up to you with his arms open.

You weren’t quite sure of what to do. Was he expecting you to hug him? You had no idea! You decided to wait until he was a few inches away from you before leaning in for a hug, wrapping your arms around his back. The scent of his cologne, a light earthy scent, filled your nostrils.

“Hello, Armin. How was the drive here?”

“Ah, I took a few wrong turns, but here I am!” Armin drew back, but his hand was still on your upper arm. “Are you ready for dinner?”

You smiled and nodded. He opened the door for you, muttering ‘be careful’ as you slid into the passenger seat, before going around the car and got behind the steering wheel. He even helped you fasten your seat belt, which made your heart flutters a little. After ensuring that you’re comfortable in your seat, the car swerved and you were both on your way to the restaurant.

Neither you nor Armin talked much along the way. You weren’t really a talkative person and neither was Armin. Besides, there was music playing from the stereo. He offered you to play your own music but you told him it’s okay. You liked seeing him enjoy his playlist, which mostly consisted of 50s or 60s music.

It took nearly twenty minutes to get uptown. You went there every day because you worked in one of the stores, but you always left right after work. You had no clue what it looked like at night and you were mesmerized. Your gaze wandered out the window, as if soaking in every single detail of the buildings and lights. Before you could take in your surroundings any further, the car turned into the lobby of a restaurant, and you regretted Sasha’s suggestion to wear a blazer. The restaurant appeared to be quite fancy from the outside. You really felt out of place. Running away sounded like a good idea.

Before you could plan your escape, Armin had already stopped the car and handed the keys to the valet. He walked around the vehicle to open your door and held out his hand to you.

“Are you feeling alright, (Y/N)?” His smile faded, replaced by a concerned expression.

“I’m fine.” You tried to smile but it looked more like a grimace. You took his hand and got out of the car.

As if he could read your mind, Armin wrapped his hand around your waist, pulled you closer, and guided you to the entrance of the place. “You look lovely, (Y/N).” He spoke in hushed tones.

You felt like you were on the verge of passing out. Fortunately, Armin handled all of the talking with the servers. Apparently he reserved a private dining room for the two of you. As you both walked to the room, you couldn’t help but admire the interior design of the place. Dim lighting, dark walls with a few windows looking out onto the outdoor area, rows and rows of wine bottles behind the bar, jazz music playing in the background, and minimalist yet expensive-looking dining tables.

The ambiance continued in the private room. Armin drew the chair for you before sitting across from it. The server handed the menu. It was quite expensive, for sure. Everything on the menu looked delicious but intimidating. You ended up ordering the crusted salmon with broccolini, while Armin chose the veal milanese. Armin also ordered some appetizers, desserts, and two mocktails for both of you.

After the server left, you turned to face Armin. “If you had told me where we were going I would have dressed more appropriately.”

“Why? What’s the matter with your outfit? I think it is perfectly fine.”

“Other women out there are dressed in blazers and dresses.”

“True, but none of them are as lovely as you.”

You could tell Armin was a smooth talker from the way he texted you. Meeting the man in person, on the other hand, was a whole new experience for you.

While waiting for your meals to be served, you had an interesting conversation with Armin about things he studied in his master’s program and what you do for work as a freelance virtual assistant and a marketing manager. The conversation continued even after the meals were served, all the way until you were both enjoying your desserts.

You discovered that Armin was well off and came from a wealthy family. While finishing his master’s degree, he was working as a market research analyst for one of his family’s businesses. He studied abroad in his final year of undergraduate school, eventually graduating with double degrees. You were starting to realize that outside the dating app, Armin is so out of your league. However, you didn’t sense even a slight of arrogance in Armin’s demeanor. He listened to your stories and asked questions, showing you that he was paying attention to what you were saying.

After finishing your desserts, you both left the restaurant. Of course, Armin paid for everything and wrapped his hand around your waist again on your way out. He didn’t let go until the valet returned his car, and he opened the door for you again. When the car was back on the street, the feeling of uneasiness dissipated and you leaned your head against the window.

“You don’t have a curfew, do you?” Armin asked, his eyes fixed on the road.

“Nah, but my best friend might call to check up on me.”

“Fantastic. Fancy for a night ride?”

You turned your head so fast and nodded excitedly. You always loved a night ride. You used to have a lot of fun with Sasha and your other best friend, Connie. Unfortunately, due to his job Connie was transferred to another city. He was the one who had a driver’s license. So neither you nor Sasha could go on night rides anymore.

Armin’s car sped through the streets before merging onto a highway.

“I hope you’re not feeling sick.” Armin pushed a button and the hardtop of the car was retracted. You let out a gasp.

“I love it.” You raised one of your hands up, feeling the summer breeze against your skin. “Summer nights are the best time to go for a night ride, you know? I used to do this a lot with my friends… Just, not in a convertible.”

“I agree.” Armin gave a nod.

The highway came to an end and you were hugging yourself. Apparently, the wind was too cold and you didn’t realize it until your fingertips froze. The car came to a halt before a red light.

“(Y/N), here. Have my jacket.” Armin reached back into the backseat for his jacket and handed it to you. “Do you want me to pull back the hardtop?”

“No, no! It’s fine, Armin. I’m just a little cold.”

Armin carefully put the jacket around your shoulders and grabbed your hands, taking them in his own hands and rubbing them to keep you warm. The light turned green. Armin focused back to the road, but he kept your hand in one of his while the other gripped the steering wheel.

Again, neither of you talked a lot during the ride, though you could feel his glances on you a few times. Around 10.30 PM, Armin drove you back to your apartment. You didn’t want the evening to end, but you knew you had to go home. Especially since you had to work the following day.

Armin parked in a parking lot near your apartment building. He helped you out, and walked you home. He moved his hand from holding your hand, to wrapping it around your shoulder, making sure his jacket didn’t slip off.

You stopped at the entrance. “You wanna drop by?”

“Only if you insist.”

You brought him inside, entered the elevator, and were soon on your floor. Armin trailed close behind you. You knew Sasha would freak out if she found out. As much as she encouraged you to go on dates, you knew she wouldn’t approve of you inviting a stranger into your apartment.

Armin is not just some random stranger, you thought to yourself.

You finally arrived in front of your unit and searched your bag for the keys.

“Now, before you come in, I must warn you that my place is not the tidiest⁠—”

“(Y/N), thank you for the invitation, but I’m only here to make sure you reach your apartment safely.”

You turned around, stunned, and stared at him. “I see…” You felt so foolish for inviting him in.

“Don’t get me wrong, (Y/N). I just don’t think it’s a good idea. After all, this is only our first date. I will gladly stop by and have an even more pleasant conversation with you on our next date.”

“...This is a date? This is not just a friendly outing?”

“Of course.”

“And now you’re asking me out for a second date?”

“Indeed. I had a great time with you, (Y/N). I would love to go on another date with you, and another one, and then another. That is, if you are up to it.”

“Of course. Yeah, sure. I would like to. I would love to.” You nodded, internally cursing yourself for your pathetic response. You couldn’t help yourself. Something about the way Armin spoke made your stomach flutters and your brain turned into a useless, gooey mush.

“Wonderful! (Y/N)...” Armin seemed like he was about to say something.

“Yes?” You tilted your head, trying to encourage him to speak up.

“I’m sorry if this is rude and disrespectful but… may I kiss you?”

“You… what?”

“I’m so sorry, it’s just… I thought you’re very pretty and cute, and I wanted to kiss you all evening but⁠—”

You quickly stepped forward and kissed him on the cheek. Armin stopped speaking and stared into your eyes for what felt like an eternity. The next thing you knew, his hand was on your cheek and he was kissing your lips. The moment your lips touched, tons of fireworks exploded inside you. It was a brief, innocent kiss, but it felt endless.

You hated when Armin pulled away, but the fireworks erupted again as he pecked the top of your head.

“Thank you for today, (Y/N).” Armin stroked your cheek, “Now get some rest. I’ll text you first thing tomorrow morning.”

“Okay.” You simply nodded. Armin must have noticed how red your face was because after you answered he just chuckled and returned to the elevator.

Once Armin was out of sight, you dashed into your apartment and slammed the door shut. You didn’t give much thought to what happened as you cleaned up. However, once you were in bed, you found yourself tossing and turning, unable to sleep. You couldn’t think of anything other than Armin and the evening you spent with him.

Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed it and stay tuned for the next part!

This fic is also available on Ao3

Read Part 2

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tilltheendwilliwrite · 1 year ago

Text

Reflections

Chapter Four

Master List / Real People Master List / Reflections Master List

Pairing: Mia MacAlsdair x Au Tom Hiddleston

Warnings: second hand embarrassment, Mia's a badass, confrontations, 18+ Minors do not interact

A/N: I apologize in advance should my Scottish/English interpretations be incorrect. I am Canadian playing in a world of my own making. Do not @ me.

**I do not tag. **To be notified of updates and new works, subscribe to me or the story on AO3 for email notification, or follow the library blog @tilltheendwilliwrite-library with notifications turned on so you’re not missing out. An account is required to access my work on AO3. For more information on how to get your FREE AO3 account, see this post.

A month passed swiftly, and Mia settled into her new life with a gracious heart. She knew just how wrong everything could have gone and how blessed she was that it hadn't. The reality was, her blessing was so great, it was almost too good to be true, and for the first week at Ashwood Farm - the name of her grandparents' home - she woke every morning, opened her eyes to the wood and dab ceiling, and sighed in relief because it wasn't a dream.

Once, a very long time ago, the farm ran sheep, but in the last few generations, the MacAlasdairs had moved into acquiring business holdings instead. Still, there were a few horses, a flock of ducks and geese, and a coup of chickens along with Jasper and Eddie - the pair of farm dogs, a golden retriever and a border collie. They were very friendly, and every day, when Mia walked the border fence of stone, they went along with her.

The dogs belonged to Henry, who looked after the animals and grounds. According to Cora, he was in his early forties and a confirmed bachelor. A little gruff around the edges, he wore his beard scruffy and a knit cap pulled low, taming his head of copper curls. He had the physique of a man used to hard labour, and if Mia hadn't recently come out of a disaster of a relationship, his deep voice and fit body might have given her pause, but as it was, she felt little in the way of attraction though the man was good looking. Hazel eyes watched her whenever Mia crouched to pet the dogs or stopped to stroke the horses' soft noses.

He'd introduced himself that first day with almost an annoyed growl, stared hard at the bruises around her eye, then turned on his heel with a command to follow him when Mia asked about her grandfather's woodworking shop.

She expected him to lead her to a quaint little shed, not a miniature stone cabin with big, bright windows. It had a great pot belly stove in the corner, long work benches, shelves, and miles of storage. Though it was currently covered in dust and wood chips, half the cottage seemed dedicated to a lounge area where her grandfather likely sat to read, drink, or spend time with friends in his 'mancave.'

The idea of it made her giggle, and Henry cast her a curious glance, before telling her he could assist in cleaning out the space if she wanted to take it over.

Mia thanked him but ultimately declined. Her grandad's half-finished pieces would remain, though she would put them up on display, and until she knew what to do with them, his tools and extra pieces of wood could be packed up and placed in a corner out of the way.

Within a few days, she had her studio set up between her grandfather's work benches and his sitting room. The long tables would give her a drying area, while the space in the middle had the best light.

Once she was all set and working again, Cora visited under the pretense of bringing her tea - they both knew she was snooping - but Mia didn't mind. But when Cora gasped and gushed over Mia's paintings, exclaiming at what she was seeing, Mia blushed.

She knew they were good, having sold many at craft fairs and gained a few commissions from people she met, but the validation was nice.

Mia painted portraits on mirrors sourced from auctions, thrift stores, yard sales, pretty much anywhere she could buy a decent piece of glass or a pretty frame. She called them Reflections for the care that went into the work, and it was a multi-step process to create.

First, the outline of the portrait was marked, and the underside of the picture was painted. For commissions, she liked to talk with the person about their goals, hobbies, great loves, and the things that filled their soul. Those things were painted on the mirror, but backward, like window painters who created the outline first so the image could be properly seen from the outside.

One had to peek behind the paint to see the inner reflection.

Then, on a second piece of glass, cut to fit the mirror perfectly, she painted the portrait of the individual. She kept them as photo-realistic as possible but did so with bright colours. A portrait could be blue and pink and yellow, orange or green; it really depended on how she felt at the time of the painting or the requests made by the customer.

Then, the pieces were sandwiched together, creating a double effect. One had to look closely to see the inner understanding of a person's soul in the reflection.

It had taken years for Mia to perfect her craft, and she still had to make sure she sourced the correct kind of mirror to give her the depth she needed. She would need to find new suppliers now that she was in Scotland, but there was an auto shop in town that did windshield repair, and upon finding out who she was, the owner appeared happy to deal with her.

Now, a month in, she knew quite a few villagers by name thanks to the shopping trips with Cora, who gleefully introduced her around.

It seemed Cora made bread, pies, and other amazing pastries for the farmers market that took place monthly. Much of the fruit and veg came from the gardens and orchards around the house. When Cora asked if she would still be alright with that, offering the same deal - fifteen percent of her earnings for using the kitchen and harvesting Mia's land - Mia agreed but knocked the price down to ten percent. Cora argued that fifteen was perfectly fair and refused to pay a penny less. Sighing, Mia relented but asked if Cora would mind her tagging along to the market.

This was when Cora somehow convinced Mia to open a booth with her artwork beside Cora's.

And thus, on a blustery May day, Mia - the proud owner of a new pop-up awning - was finishing setting up beside Cora.

They left up two walls on each tent to keep out the wind but kept the ones at the front and between their booths open, just in case Cora got busy and needed a second set of hands.

Mia displayed what she could do around her booth, on tables and hanging from quickly sourced Amazon finds. Some paintings were full-sized in gilt frames, propped on easels, or hanging from hastily erected wire. Smaller paintings, those the size of regular printer paper, sat in cardboard boxes like old records waiting to be flipped through. And still more, pendants Mia painted with hyper-realistic flowers under glass hung from little stands.

Henry hadn't seemed too keen on helping, but Cora browbeat him into packing the truck and getting them to the town square in Kelso early in the morning.

It had been a long time since Mia exhibited, and though she was excited, she was also nervous. Most people now knew she was a MacAlasdair. Would they think she was cheeky for attempting to sell her art at a decent price when she didn't need the money?

Her fears were unwarranted when people began to trickle by. Soon, Cora was doing a hopping business, and Mia was busy talking about what she did and why.

Throughout the morning, she found three people interested in commissions and eagerly handed out hastily made-up business cards.

She just finished up with a woman wondering if she could do something similar to commemorate the loss of her husband's best sheepdog - to which Mia gave an enthusiastic yes, she would love to paint a dog - when Cora called her name.

Friendly smile plastered on, she turned to find a stunning brunette, two young boys - their faces sticky from something sweet and chocolatey - and a tall, strapping man.

"Mia, ye've not met the Hiddlestons of Highpark Castle. This is Emma Bruce, her lads Keegan and Calvin, and Kristopher Hiddleston."

She crossed to stand behind Cora's baked goods covered table and held out her hand to the woman. "It's a pleasure. I see your home every day on my walk."

Emma grinned, her blue eyes bright and sparkling. "I've heard so much about you already! The whole village is buzzing regarding our new Canadian transplant. How are you adjusting?"

Mia laughed and shook the firm grip, smiling at the boys. "Just fine for the most part. There's been a bit of culture shock and a steep learning curve, but I'm figuring it out." She leaned closer and stage whispered, "But if you happen to have a Scot's saying dictionary, I would like to borrow it."

"Ock! Yer fine. Ye always blink like an owl when ye dinnae ken something," Cora huffed.

Emma laughed and winked. "Try being married to one. The brogue gets thick, and even I struggle."

"I did wonder," Mia chuckled, her accent very posh English.

"That's what happens when a Scottish keep ends up in the hands of an English Lord," the man laughed, holding out his hand. "It's a pleasure, Mia. Please, call me Kip. Everyone does. And I must say, I adore what you're doing here."

Hand firmly caught in his, Mia allowed him to tug her back into her booth, where he oozed charm and cooed over her work.

"I would love to have one of these for my fiancée. She would adore it!" he proclaimed, causing Mia to frown.

"Fiancée?" she murmured, glancing at Emma.

Kip snickered. "She's my sister."

"Oh!" Mia blushed. Emma said she was married to a Scot, and Kip was the upper crust side of an English accent, but she and Kip looked nothing alike beyond the bright blue of their eyes.

Emma was short with a petite, curvy frame and dark hair. Kip was tall and fit, more like a runner than a lumberjack. His sandy blond hair had a touch of copper, but not enough to call it strawberry, just enough to make it shine with red lights, even with the grey and cloudy sky hiding the sun.

"Don't trouble yourself, love," he winked, his smile flashing straight white teeth.

"Ignore him, Mia," Emma quipped. "He's just annoyed you're not fawning all over him."

Mia frowned. "Why would I?"

"Ugh! I'm destroyed. My heart will never be the same," the man pouted as Emma's boys laughed.

They looked about seven and ten and immediately made fun of their uncle.

"Looks like your fame hasn't spread to Canada, Uncle Kip!" Keegan snickered.

"Yeah, guess you have to try harder," Calvin giggled.

Kip huffed and playfully locked both boys in headlocks. "Bah! Perhaps Mia doesn't like movies, television, or theatre?"

"I like movies," Mia muttered, still perplexed. "I also like TV."

The boys burst out laughing. "See! Not that famous!"

Kip pouted. "Mia, darling, come on! Throw a man a bone. The Essex Serpent? Crimson Peak? Kong: Skull Island? For pity's sake, woman! Thor Ragnarok?"

"Ragnarok?" Mia tilted her head. "You were in Ragnarok?"

Kip raised his hands, triumphant. "Yes! I played Loki."

She blinked, arched a brow, and scowled. "Oh, you're that guy."

"I beg your pardon?"

Mia sighed and thrust a hand through her hair, muttering, "Odin's one eye," before forcing a smile. "Look, no offence, but I prefer the other guy."

Emma squeaked and slapped a hand over her mouth, but her eyes danced with utter delight.

"Other guy?" Kip asked, crossing his arms.

"Yes, the one in the first two Thor movies and Avengers. I'm not great with actor names, which is probably why I didn't recognize yours, but I never understood why they replaced the other guy. He made an incredible Loki. I was impressed." As was the God he portrayed, though her Loki was still annoyed about the hair. "I thought he put real passion into the role and gave him such depth of emotion. Nothing was more powerful than when he confronted Odin about being a Frost Giant. The utter hurt and betrayal gave me goosebumps. And in Avengers, when he was fighting Thor on the tower, and that single tear trickled down his cheek at sentiment." Mia shook her head. "Magic."

Kip stared, mouth agape, while Emma beamed, and the boys giggled like they had a secret.

"What? I know I can get a little passionate-"

"Tom!" Emma squealed. "It was Tom! Our brother Tom played Loki in the first three movies."

Heat burned through Mia's face. Talk about fawning like an idiot. And to his family, no less.

"Gods, I'm so embarrassed," she groaned, slapping a hand to her forehead.

"No, no, darling," Kip chuckled. "I agree. Tom was a better Loki than me. Would that he could have continued excelling as an actor."

"Unfortunately, our parents passed away unexpectedly," Emma murmured sadly. "The estate and responsibilities fell on Tom as the heir. He gave it all up to come home and take over as Lord of Highpark."

"And allowed me to rise under my own star," Kip smiled gently. "Had he stayed in the industry, I know many of the roles I've won would never have come my way. He put me forth to replace him in many of the parts earmarked for him, and when Ragnarok came up, it was because of our near-identical looks and voice that I was granted that opportunity as well. I owe my brother quite a lot," he murmured, staring at her curiously.

Suspicion caused Mia to squint at him. "What?"

"Hm? Oh, nothing. Nothing. Now, back to my commission."

He began talking about his fiancée, going on about how they just had a baby and how she was an actress rising on the Hollywood stage. He spoke about how they met doing Broadway and thought she would adore Mia's work.

With her birthday coming soon, he wanted to surprise her with something unique and special, and Mia's art was right up that alley.

Mia nodded along, making notes on her phone as they went, jotting down everything from the size he desired to her favourite colours to little tidbits Kip doled out about how great of a mom she was and how happy they were together.

The love fest gave Mia a pang in her chest, but she didn't let her smile waver.

Mia handed him a business card and asked him to email her so she could send him her contract and questionnaire. She informed him her commissions were first come, first served, and if he didn't want to wait for his painting to act soon as she already had a few interested parties.

Kip snorted, pulled out his phone, and shot off an email as she stood watching, amused.

Mia's phone pinged. She pulled it from her pocket, read the subject line, and burst out laughing. "Do me first? You're lucky I enjoy a quirky sense of humour."

"I thought you might," Kip snickered, tucking her business card away with his phone before the boys tugged at his hands. "Speak soon, Mia!"

She chuckled along with Cora and Emma as the obviously bored children dragged him away.

"It was a pleasure, Mia. Come by the house one day. We'll have tea. I'd love to get to know you better," Emma smiled. "Any time, any day. I'm usually free."

"I'd like that," Mia agreed. "I'll let you know when Kip's portrait is finished. We can kill two birds."

"Lovely," Emma nodded, giving a little wave as she headed off. "I should rescue Kip before the boys convince him more ice cream before lunch is a good idea."

"Bye!" Mia waved, watching them go.

"So…"

She turned to face a smirking Cora and arched a brow. "What?"

"Familiar with our Tom, are ye?"

Mia's face burned, and she hurriedly turned away. "Stuff it, old woman."

Cora cackled and went to speak with a customer.

In a lull around mid-afternoon, Mia escaped her booth to walk around. Cora assured her she would hand out cards to anyone interested, and said she'd heard Mia's spiel enough times to give the speech herself if necessary but would call her to come back if someone wanted to speak with her.

Mia walked the market with genuine interest, happily stopping to sample what she could where she could or stop and talk to the fibre artists, potters, and wood carvers when they weren't busy with other customers.

She wound up the proud new owner of three gorgeous wool sweaters, a cute purple toque - though she confused the poor woman when she called the knit cap that - and matching mittens. She bought a pair of heavy mugs in a black glaze speckled with white and shot through with smears of colour. They looked like galaxies on clay, and she had to own them. And when she stopped at the wood carvers tent, a bowl of ebony wood with a high polish caught her eye, as did a matching carved raven.

Mia headed back to her booth with her treasures in tow and belly full of samples.

Cora chuckled when she saw her. "I told ye to take a few bags."

"I did!" Mia laughed, tucking her finds under a table out of the way. "I ran out of room. There are just so many talented artisans here. Between the food, the drink, and the art, this could be a dangerous place to come to more than once a month."

Cora chuckled, but her laughter died on a gruff, "Canna help ye?"

Mia rose and turned to see a man in his mid-thirties, with brown hair and eyes, his long black coat twisting around his legs in the wind. He was staring at her, his face a mask of unreadable granite.

Something about him gave Mia the willies.

"Ye want something, Benedict Campell?" Cora snapped.

The man cast her a disdain-filled glance before returning his focus to Mia.

"I came to meet our new resident," the man said, his accent thick.

"Nice to meet you," Mia nodded, even as Cora snorted.

A squint came to his eyes as he studied her before he stepped into Mia's booth. "Yer younger than I thought."

Mia frowned. "Thank you?"

"Braw, too." He took another step toward her.

Mia pressed backward. The man sent chills up her spine.

The quorking of a raven gave her courage, and she straightened her spine. She'd worked in customer service and dealt with worse creeps before. "Is there something you want, sir?"

He arched a brow, amusement curling his lips into a cruel smile. "I was hoping ye would sell Ashwood Farm to me."

Mia crossed her arms and lifted her chin. "Nope."

The other brow joined the first in his hairline. "Surely yer not staying in Kelso?"

"I am, I can, and I will."

"Ye've had yer answer, Campbell. Aff wit ye!" Cora demanded, stepping between them, her brogue thickening.

He sneered at Cora before glaring at Mia. "Think about it. I'll give ye a great price."

Mia snorted. "Gods, no. Please leave."

"Yer makin'-"

Mia stepped around Cora and into the man so aggressively he stepped back in surprise, and she walked him backwards out of her booth.

"My sign is No. My number is No. My answer is No. You need to let it go! Bye-bye now!" Yes, she did just quote a Megan Trainer song. No, she didn't regret it.

Mia wiggled her fingers, cocked her head, and sashayed back into the tent.

"This isn't over."

"Yep. It is. There's nothing that will make me sell the last link I have to my heritage and family, so please, kindly fuck off," Mia smiled sweetly. "Attempt to harass me in any way, and I'll set my lawyers on your mangy ass."

Campbell scowled and stalked off.

"Ock, now ye've done it," Cora snickered.

"Done what?" Mia asked.

"That's Benedict Campbell. He's a high-mucky muck property developer. He's been after Ashwood Farm for years, but yer grandad always told him to feck off, too. So good on ye, but ye may want to give Fergus a call and let him know Campbell's up to his shenanigans again. Fergus had to cease and desist his arse once already."

"I'll do that," Mia murmured, glaring after the asshole.

"Just ken, his da is Kelso's mayor."

Mia sighed and rolled her eyes. "Joy."

"Not to worry. You own the building the mayor's office resides in."

The utter glee Cora took in that fact made Mia laugh. "Well, eviction is always an option."

Cora snickered before eyeing Mia appreciatively.

"What?"

"Ye stood up to him."

Mia shrugged. "Of course. He's just a bully and a chauvinistic pig."

Cora frowned and waved a hand in the direction of Mia's face. "I thought…"

"Oh. Yeah, no. That was a one-off, and after I picked myself off the floor, I threatened Colt with a lamp. I'm not a pushover, but five years of nitpicking beat me down. He was subtle and slow about it. It took taking the hit to wake me up. But no, I spent a lot of years in foster care. You toughen up quick."

"Mia," Cora murmured, pity crawling across her face.

She turned to fuss with the display she knocked over when Campbell caused her to retreat into the table. "It's not like I was abused, but you learn fast to be independent, and yeah, you figure out how to take a punch and throw one."

"Lord, love a duck," Cora muttered before grabbing Mia and yanking her down for a hug. "Well, no more. Ye've family in me now. Me and Henry. We'll look after ye."

"Thank you," Mia sighed. She didn't mean to upset Cora, but sometimes her filter… didn't. "I want you to know I'm really happy here, more so than I thought I would be. And I've met so many people. It's like I finally found… home."

"That's 'cause ye have, lass," Cora murmured. "Ye truly have."

Mia pulled back, her smile damp but still bright. "So… there's a booth at the end where the Anderson kids have a box full of kittens…."

Cora snickered and shook her head. "If yer getting one, get two. They can have a playmate. We'll train 'em to stay off my countertops, but they'll be good to keep down the mice."

"We have mice!" Mia hissed.

"In a house that auld? Of course, we've mice! But a couple wee kitties, and they'll solve the issue right quick."

Mia shuddered. "Yeah, okay, yeah. I'm getting two."

Cora chuckled. "Text Henry to come get ye. Ye can head to the store and get what's needed afore they close."

"I've always wanted a cat," Mia grinned and hugged Cora again. "Thank you, Cora!"

"Bah!" She flapped her hands, her cheeks red. "Tis yer house."

"But you live there, too, so if you didn't want them, I wouldn't get them."

Cora eyed her, bemused and shook her head. "Yer a good lass, a little strange but sweet. Now, gaun. Aff wit ye. There's a good dent in yer work, and mine, so packing up will be quick when yer back."

Mia giggled, nodded, and hurried off, pulling out her phone as she rushed to see if the kittens she fell in love with were still available.

As Mia settled down for bed that night, it was with a pair of furry bed warmers. The grey kitten with the black tiger stripes she called Tyr, and the white with the cinnamon mask, ears, tail tip, and toes she named Idunn.

They were wonderfully sweet, loving, and adorably affectionate. It surprised her how affectionate when they followed her around the house rather than running off to explore.

There was no fear in the pair. She expected them to be skittish and hide under the furniture, but they didn't. They pounced along behind her, chasing her heels as she set up a litter box near the back entrance and a second in her bathroom. She wanted to keep the scamps with her at night for a while, just until they were comfortable, but she didn't need any accidents.

Crawling into bed, she smiled when they scrambled up the bedding, jumped across the comforter, and climbed into her lap, where they snuggled together and began to purr.

Mia smiled and stroked their soft fur as she looked around her room.

Candles glowed on Loki's altar next to his new raven statue, a fire crackled in the fireplace, and fresh flowers bloomed on the mantle in a polished crystal vase.

Beyond the windows, the night closed in around the farm. It was still overcast, so she couldn't see the stars, but there was hardly any light pollution on the farm. One day, she knew she would look up and see the glory of the cosmos again.

The night sky in Canada could be so majestic, but it was hard to see from the city. Out here, on Ashwood Farm, she imagined it would be spectacular.

The presence beside her drew her from her musings.

"Thank you."

For?

Mia looked up, but there was no one there. Not physically at least.

She smiled and held out her hand. The warmth of someone grasping her fingers filled her with peace, comfort and joy.

"Everything. I know you had a hand in all this."

If I did, you deserve it. The hardships of the past have not soured your spirit. You make me proud, girl.

Mia blushed and pulled her hand away. "Thank you, Loki."

If you really want to thank me, you will read the good parts out loud.

Mia laughed at his teasing. "You're terrible."

You love it.

Yeah, she did.

Next Chapter

#reflections #au tom hiddleston fiction #rpf #real people fiction #tom hiddleston

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jasntodds · 2 years ago

Text

Caving In [15]

Pairing: Gar Logan x Fem!Powered!Reader, Jason Todd x Fem!Powered!Reader

Words: 13,783

Chapter Warnings: Swearing, angst, mentions of Jason wanting to kill himself from last chapter, canon violence, some fluff kind of

Summary: ❝Tell me Atlas: What is heavier, The world or its people’s hearts?❞ You never expected your life to end up this way, turned upside down by an infamous Gotham villain. It’s been a living hell, every single day, until Dick Grayson brings you to Titans tower where you meet Gar Logan and Jason Todd.

A/N: I am changing canon a little bit so we see Jason again next chapter lol Also, so I had issues with this chapter and ended up dropping my Gar plot 😅 I got advice from my best friend and that’s where I landed lol it was not working at all and reader seemed like such an asshole and it was not fun to write so I changed it lol Luckily, not that much of my plot changes after this chapter but ya know, that’s why this is late lol I am easily motivated to post more often when I get feedback 😂 You can add yourself to the tag list below, ask me to be tagged, or you can follow my library blog @jasntoddslibrary and turn on notifications if you prefer that!!

series masterlist | masterlist | tag list

Jason and you pause, looking at Dick. Jason looks a bit broken and defeated but you look like you’re about to throw Dick off the edge of the roof. After all of that, after you both get kidnapped and permanently fucked up, now Dick is gonna take some type of responsibility for it. Jason is still limping a little, he thinks no one notices but you and Gar do. And now Dick is saying it’s his fault. Where was he a week ago? Where was he fifteen minutes ago when everyone decided to attack Jason for something he didn’t even do?

“Can you come inside? I’ll explain everything.” Dick asks and you look to Jason.

Jason looks hopeless and tired. and he’s quiet. Jason is anything but quiet. Maybe you should give it all a rest. Maybe it’d be easier if you agreed with Dick and let him say whatever he has to say and just be a silent form of comfort for Jason. But, you’ve never been very good at biting your tongue, even when you should. And especially, when someone you care about is any type of pain.

You turn back around. "You've got to be fucking kidding me, right?" You snarl. "Jason nearly jumped off a roof and NOW you wanna take the blame for something?! Dick, literally what the fuck? Do you maybe wanna first tell the other Titans they're fucking assholes because they're in there defending you so fucking hard that we're out here!!!! You're supposed to protect us! And now you wanna come clean about Deathstroke's son?!" You glare at him, your jaw squared and Jason is shielded right behind you. Your hands start to glow and acid leaks from your balled fists.

Jason reaches forward, resting his hand on your shoulder and squeezing. Jason's never had anyone defend him as hard as you do. He's not sure anyone has ever even cared that much about him. You losing control of your powers in your sleep is one thing, but right now, you’re wide awake but you’re so mad at everyone that you’re losing control of it. Jason isn't going to let you completely lose it, not over him even if it means more than he'll ever say. You look back at him and Jason shakes his head, his eyes still glossy and red.

You want to keep fighting. You’re just so furious at everyone that it's like you can feel herself slipping into insanity. It's like the trauma of everything over the last few years is all coming to the surface in one go. Every ounce of anger you weren't allowed to feel, is ranging back through the back of your throat. Your entire body feels like it's being thrown into the sun but you look at Jason and it just...fades. Not completely because you think you'll mad about this forever but it fades enough for you to take breath because he doesn't want you to fight Dick on this. The glowing of your hands fade and you open and close your fists a few times and bite your tongue, for Jason's sake.

You turn back around, facing Dick. "Whatever." You groan with the roll of your eyes. "But you fucking suck, too."

“Fuck it.” Jason scoffs.

You look down at your hands, making sure they're safe before you reach back and grab Jason's hand in yours. Jason follows close behind you and keeps his hand in yours on your walk back to the kitchen. It seems to calm you down and it seems to ground him.

When the three of you reach the kitchen, everyone is still waiting in the kitchen. Everyone is mostly scattered about, even Rose has joined the party. Dick declares he has something to tell all of you so Jason lets go off your hand, taking a seat at a table and you head over towards the sink to sit by Gar. You shake your head at him and rolls your eyes.

“Is Jason okay?” Gar’s voice is laced with worry.

“I’ll tell you later.” You whisper to him before Dick addresses the room with his confession.

“I lied.” Dick states as he finishes the story. “I lied to you guys because I was afraid you guys would leave this place and me. And if that happened, there would be no Titans. And I lied to you, too.” Dick lets out a breath. “I told you guys Jericho was dead when I got to the church. But he wasn’t. He was alive. He died trying to save me from his father. I’m sorry.” Dick looks to the ground and crosses his arms. “You all deserve more.”

The room falls completely silent. Everyone processing what Dick has just confessed but Hank is the first one to make a move. Hank gets up slowly and then walks over to Dick. Everyone in the room remains completely silent, waiting to see what Hank is gonna say. But, then, Hank doesn’t say anything. He punches Dick in the face. Dawn quickly jumps up to move Hank away from Dick.

“You lying sack of shit.” Hank grits his teeth at Dick as Dawn pulls him away, Kory standing up from her spot near the living room.

“How many fucking half-truths have you told us?” Donna asks, not moving her spot by the snack bar, her voice holding annoyance.

“At least you got a half-truth.” Rachel says and just hearing her voice, you wants to explode.

You’re mad at Dick but a part of you understands why he would lie. If any of the younger Titans knew it was his fault Jericho died, none of you would trust him. You’re supposed to trust him with your lives but he went and got another kid killed and by his own father no less. Of course, you wouldn’t trust him to keep you safe. It doesn’t excuse him from lying because it caused this huge mess, for you and Jason specifically. But, you do get it and Jericho trying to save Dick, was still his decision. Mad as you might be, you’re almost certain Dick would do that for any of you. It's what you're supposed to do, right? What the Titans are supposed to do? Put your lives at risk for not only the greater good but also each other? Rachel is always on Dick's side, if anyone should understand any of this, it should be Rachel. Why is everyone flipping so easily?

“So, me and Jason got kidnapped and tortured because of you?” You ask and Dick makes eye contact with you before barely glancing at Jason and then looking to floor. “Alright then.” You scoff and Gar puts his hand over yours, giving your a look of sympathy.

“My brother’s dead because of you.” Rose states, glaring harshly at Dick. “I’m out.”

Jason stands up as Rose goes to leave the room. “I’m going with her.”

“Jason--” Dick starts, looking back to him.

“You don’t get to decide what I do anymore, what anybody does.” Jason states before turning around and heading down towards the hallway.

You look at Gar a bit panicked. Jason? Leaving? And with Rose? It makes sense given what Jason told you earlier but maybe he should go back to Gotham if he wants to leave. Dick almost got him killed, you don’t blame him but it hurts anyway. And Gar’s heart is in his stomach. Gar thought you’d all be a team and Jason is his best friend. He doesn’t want to lose him because Dick made a bad decision.

“I’m out, too.” Donna glares at Dick as she pushes herself away from the counter and heads out of the room.

“I’m going with Donna.” Rachel pipes up, hopping off of the counter. Gar snaps his attention towards them and now another friend of his is leaving. “Can I go with you?” Rachel asks as Donna stands in front of her.

“Sure?” Donna questions.

“Rachel.” Gar pipes up.

“I can’t stay here.” Rachel says before turning away from you and Gar.

“Let’s go.” Hank says to Dawnn and the two of them start to leave without another word.

Gar’s eyes grow glossy as he watches all of the Titans start to leave. “Kinda messed of Dick.” Gar’s voice is so small.

“Hold the fuck up.” You groan, not moving from your spot but the Titans look to you. “Seriously? You guys are just...giving up on him?”

“Give it a rest.” Hank’s jaw is squared.

“You defended Dick left and right and now that he comes clean about shit, you’re just gonna bail? What kind of fucking team are you people?" You don't even sound angry right now. Gar isn't sure if he be more worried about that than you being furious. "I mean if the roles were reversed and Jason were Dick, I wouldn’t leave. You guys almost got Jason to kill himself and for what? To bail because Dick lied to protect all of us? It’s fucked up, sure, but at least he had a good enough reason. What the fuck ever.” You bite the bitter taste of disappointment.

The Titans are not the heroes you once looked up to. None of them are. You’re a firm believer in not giving up people easily. You’re not an easy person to believe in and you’re aware of it. But, your best friend didn't give up on you in Gotham, your mom never did, Gar hasn't, Jason definitely hasn't, and Dick didn't. People are deserving of second-chances. As Titans, as heroes, they should know that better than anyone. But none of them have anything to say, they all just walk off.

And because things couldn’t get more disappointing, Kory’s phone goes off and she takes a second to type a quick message before she starts to walk away, too.

“You’re leaving, too?” Dick asks.

“Got some loose ends to take care of. Sorry.” Kory says softly before she closes the distance between them and rests a hand on Dick’s arm. “At least it’s out now.” She pauses. “The truth.” Dick nods. “I’m sure they’ll get over it soon.” Kory assures him before she leaves the three of you, too.

Gar has tears in his eyes and it breaks your heart. The Titans are leaving Dick but in the process, they’re also leaving Gar. Jason, completely understandable. There’s a weird history between him and Dick anyway because of Bruce. That’s understandable but Rachel. Rachel should be staying. Everyone leaving is hurting more than just Dick.

“Interesting how I’m one of two people still sitting here.” You mutter with the quick raise of your brows, Dick’s looking at you with sympathy. Surprised you even came to his defense in the first place. “Look, Dickolas,” You hop down from your place on the counter.

You can't believe you’re doing this. Defending Dick? Understanding Dick's motivation? Maybe you’ve also lost your mind. But, you just watched your best friend completely shatter and you’re not going to watch Dick do the same. Not without making an effort to prevent it. The reality is that Dick and Jason were taken in by the same person. Both of them are not great at communicating and some of that probably has to do with Bruce. This is something that's clearly eaten away at Dick and words matter. You don't want to talk another person down from the ledge today. So, you swallow the anger you feel towards him and let's yourself just feel empathy.

“Y/n, don’t.” Gar pleads with you.

“I gotta say my shit on this.” You let out a sigh and walk over to Dick. “Look, fuck you, first of all. Me and Jason almost died because of you and you started this shit here today in the grand scheme of things. But, fuck, alright you were raised by fucking Bruce who clearly isn’t very good at it. And you did try your best. Maybe, I was wrong about what it means when someone says that.” You shake your head as you shrug your shoulders. “Because you did.” There’s no snark in your voice, no sarcasm. It’s just sympathetic. “It backfired to hell and back but….at least you fucking tried to keep all of us safe and that’s doing a whole lot more than a lot of people have done for me and Jason and Gar. So, fuck you because that’s shitty. But, I don’t think everyone should give up on you either.” You suck in a breath. “You didn't give up on me.” You chew the inside of your cheek as you furrow your brows. You suck in a breath and clear your throat. “Anyway.” You spin around to look at Gar. “I’m gonna try to convince Jason to stay, wanna help?”

Gar shakes his head and there’s a hint of a smile on his lips. He didn’t think you’d say any of that to Dick, ever. He didn't think you would ever even side with Dick if Dick were right about something. But it was nice and Gar knows that probably wasn't easy for you to say, especially right now. And as for Dick, he's getting the sense you’re gonna be okay. Of all people in this tower, you’re the one siding with him. He can't believe it but it does mean something to him. Maybe he hasn't completely failed all of you.

“If he’ll listen to anyone, it’s you.” Gar nods at you.

“I’ll meet you back out here when I’m done.” You smile softly at him and head towards Jason’s room.

You walk to Jason’s room and you’re trying to think of what you can tell him to convince him to stay that isn’t about you or Gar. It’s a little selfish of you to ask him to stay for either of you. But, you need him. You chose Gar but Jason is your best friend. He means everything to the both of you and neither of you want to see him take off and make bad decisions because of one bad decision Dick made. The way you see it, Dick didn’t kill Jericho. It’s Dick’s actions that lead to Jericho getting killed but Jericho was protecting Dick. There was a reason for that. And you hold onto that. So, you knock on Jason’s door and open it slowly seeing him pack a bag by his bed.

“Hey.” You greet him sadly, leaving the door open.

“You can’t fucking stop me.” Jason snaps at you, throwing some clothes into a bag.

You look to the floor and stick your hands into your hoodie pouch. “Yeah…thought I’d try though.” Seeing him pack, it puts him leaving into reality and you really, really don't want to him to leave and it starts getting heavy again.

Jason looks over at you and see your eyes starting to gloss over. The hardened expression grows softer. You look desperate. "Are you okay?" Jason switches it to you, not just because it's what he does. You just talked him down, screamed at the Titans for ten minutes in his defense, and found out it's all Dick's fault. He is worried about how you’re going to handle all of this.

You pause and your heart is somewhere between thundering and stopping. The lump grows in your throat and this is getting to be a little too much. The adrenaline from being angry is crashing and now you just feels sad. Your eyes start to burn while your stomach grows nauseous. It’s too loud and too heavy and too fucking much.

You shake your head. "No." The word is so fragile, Jason swears if he breathes too heavily the world will shatter around you. "I'm....uh, I'm just so fucking mad at them." You suck in a heavy breath, dodging Jason's eyes. “You...you-you just...don’t deserve it.” You shake your head, looking to the ground, brows furrowed and you swear you can't breathe. "You-you deserve, you deserve better." You pull your hands out of your hoodie pouch, tugging the sleeves over your hands as they shake so bad you almost can't grab the sleeve. "It's...I don't know." You finally look up to him. "And I don't want you to leave." You suck in a breath as if that breath is gonna put all of this back together again.

Jason shakes his head and it’s agonizing listening to you try to get the words out. His chest feels like he’s being punched over and over again. “I can’t fucking stay here. He fucking lied. I almost fucking died because of that shit. You almost died.” Jason's eyes go to your hands, still shaking and he walks over to you, putting his hands on your shoulders. His eyes lock with yours, his left eye still a light shade of yellow from the healing bruise. But the action alone, grounds you. You’re able to suck in a full breath with his hands on your shoulders. "They're assholes, okay? I'll be fine once I'm away from all of them."

"You almost walked off a roof half an hour ago, Jay." Your eyes water.

"But I didn't." Jason states. "I'll be fine once I'm far the fuck away from any of them, alright?"

"They're all leaving." Your voice is almost pleading with him.

"All?" Jason questions as if to not believe you.

"Rachel's leaving with Donna, Hank and Dawn are leaving together, obviously. Kory's leaving, to. She has a thing, I guess." You pause and Jason's hands slide down your arms. "It's just..Gar, Dick, and me. Dick sucks but Gar and me are pretty okay."

"I can't, not with Dick still here." Jason keeps his stance, ignoring the feeling of his chest caving in and he drops his hands entirely away from you.

He moves back to the bed and continues to pack his clothes. It’s hard for him, too. You’ve done more for him than most people have. You mean so much to him that he can’t even imagine his life without you in it anymore. He knows it’s what’s best for him but leaving, leaving you, makes him feel like his chest is wide open and bleeding.

You hang your head. Every reason you have to convince him to stay is selfish. He’s standing here telling you he can’t stay because it’s what’s best for him. And you still want to convince him and that’s just selfish. It’s gonna be painful with him leaving. You’re going to worry about him the whole time. He means everything to you. You like hanging out with him. You like being around him. He makes you feel fucking normal. The weight of the world doesn’t feel like it could crush you at any moment when he’s around. Every single reason you come to, is about how you feel and not about what is actually best for Jason.

It’s right now, with the undeniable fact that Jason is leaving, that’s him. You like Gar, of course you do. What’s not to like? But, there’s Jason and this agonizing thunder in your chest is practically crippling and all he’s doing is leaving. He’ll call you and text you. But it feels like this is the end of everything. If it weren’t Jason, it wouldn’t hurt this bad.

You wouldn’t feel like you’re bleeding out. It’s always been Jason as much as you want to deny it because it’s easier that way, it is. Because Jason is the one you felt the most comfortable with to tell him what happened first, because he went with you to Jerry’s without any judgment or anger, because he welcomed you into his own world. Because, despite everything, Jason feels comfortable and safe and thrilling and fun. Jason feels like a rollercoaster, right before the drop or a loop. You know you’re safe, but your stomach drops anyway and there’s a thrill that comes with it. It’s safe but thrilling and that’s what it feels like around Jason. Around Jason, the world is not heavy because when it gets heavy, he crawls under it with you and he helps lift that weight so you aren’t alone in it. Because you tell Jason that you’re not okay. Jason feels like home.

But, you bite every piece of that down because you cannot tell him. He will stay if you do. You kissed him anyway and he doesn’t want that. Not right now. If you tell him, you’re terrified he will stay and get worse. It’s not what’s best for him. And you can’t leave. You want to go with him but Gar has been there for you just as much as Jason has. You can’t leave Gar alone and telling Jason would mean choosing not just between them on a romantic level, but choosing between them on a friendship level and that is something you swear you will never do. So you swallow the shards of glass with every unspoken word scribbled across the pieces.

“I understand." The words feel like chewing gravel. "I'm...I am really gonna miss you, then, Jay."

Jason almost turns around, your voice is broken and desperate. He almost turns around because he feels bad this hurts you. It shouldn't. He never should have meant that much to you but he does. He almost looks at you but if does, he'll stay and he knows he can't. He doesn't belong here. He's never fit in. Dick has never wanted here. He would rather be on his own than someplace he isn't even wanted.

There's a silence that consumes you both and it's as if you exist in your own bubble. It's always kind of like that when it's just the two of you. It's just Jason and you. The world gets quiet, you both can breathe, and the heaviness is easier to carry. When you're together, alone, you exist in a bubble that protects you both from the outside world. Even with Deathstroke. That whole experience would have been so much and so much more terrifying if you didn't have each other. And right now, your bubble surrounds you, it's filled with heartache and guilt, unsaid words that you both swear will never see the light of day. But, then your bubble gets popped.

Rose walks in, seeing you watching Jason with Jason's back to you. She plops in one of Jason's chairs before deciding to break the silence. “What? Trying to get him to stay?”

You feel the sadness completely fade into more anger with Rose speaking. It consumes every piece of sadness that embedded itself in your chest. You roll your eyes nearly into the back of your head. You don’t have the mental capacity to deal with her, too.

“Is that any concern of yours?” You ask, keeping your back to her.

“He’s coming with me.”

You look over your shoulder to Rose. “Cool.” You shrug one shoulder and turn back around to Jason. “Look, you’re our best friend and we respect your decision but….uh, ya know, we just worry about you.” You do not want to have this conversation with Rose in the room. It’s none of her fucking business. What is said between you and Jason, stays that way.

“I'm gonna be fine.” Jason shakes his head and if Dick would leave, he’d stay. But with Dick here, he can’t.

“You care about him,” Rose’s voice is snarky from behind you and you feel your entire emotional stability start to slip. You will explode again. You’re fed the fuck up with all of this shit. “But Dick treats him like shit and so do the rest of the Titans. They’ll all come back eventually.”

You narrow your eyes and there is something about Rose that doesn’t make sense. You don’t know what it is but there’s something rubbing you the wrong way. It’s not jealousy, you’re certain of that because it doesn’t feel warm like that. There’s something else and it hits you that it’s the way she just said how the tower treats Jason. Everyone treats Jason like shit besides you and Gar. You’re the only two that ever gave Jason a chance to not be a shithead. Sure, maybe Rose gave Jason the same, but you find it a little weird.

“Do you wanna shut the fuck up?” You look at her, blinking quickly.

"If you're really his friend, you'd want what's best for him." Rose quips. "Do you even have a good reason for him to stay?"

"Literally, this sounds like we're fighting over him which I'm not gonna do." You pause and turn to fully face her. "No, it's why I simply asked him instead of outright convincing him. I don't have a reason that's not fucking selfish." Jason glances over his shoulder and he wonders what the hell that could possibly mean. "Is there a reason you, specifically, want him to go with you instead of going home?" You raise the question and Jason has slowed his packing to watch the two of you argue.

"He isn't wanted there either." Rose states and you’re taken aback by the comment.

Does she know Jason at all? Home is home. It doesn't matter how fucking shitty Gotham is, that place is home. You know for a fact that is his home because he doesn't think you’re insane for wanting to go back. The only people who don't think that's completely insane are Gotham people. There is something else going on here and for a second, you want to play every single card you have against Jason to get him to stay. Regardless on if it's good for him or not because going with Rose, right about now, seems like a bad fucking decision, too.

"Interesting." You nod your head. "Right, so it's not because you're hooking up and you're choosing to go with saying he isn't wanted there to engrain more negative thoughts into his head so he'll go with you?" You question. "Which, by the way, pretty shitty fucking move considering what just happened."

Jason snickers softly to himself. He's not exactly sure who would win in a fistfight but he's certain you could win any argument you’re in. You will not back down against anyone. Especially when it's about him. Jason swears Rose has no idea what she's getting herself into and Jason isn't about to tell her. He is a little curious about what Rose's answer to any of this is.

"You still haven't given a reason for him to stay." Rose offers this condescending grin and your eye nearly twitches.

"You know what, I got one." You narrow your eyes at Rose. "I don't fucking like you." You snark, your voice stern and coursing with venom, Jason's full attention is now on the two of you. You liked Rose a few hours ago, this is getting interesting.

"Because you think we're hooking up? That's cute. What does Gar think?"

"Nope." You shake your head while a laugh leaves your lips. This isn't jealousy and you’re positive. "Why do you know it wasn't Jason?" You ask. "I mean, I know it wasn't him. But, why do you know that? You're positive it wasn't him. Why? You know him about as well as you know me or Gar or Rachel or Dick. So, why do you think it wasn't Jason? And don't say because you like him because we all know you're a lot smarter than that. So, why?"

Does it seem insane to accuse Rose? Absolutely. But the entire tower has lost their minds and you figure you might as well join them. If you shoot enough times, you’re bound to hit something. And Jason didn't do it but someone in this tower did. You’re gonna find out who it is if it's the last thing you do.

"Why would he?" Rose fires back.

"Exactly. But, see, I ask that question and you don't even point the finger at Rachel or Dick which, by the way, was who I would have said did it. So, why do you know it isn't Jason and why aren't you blaming anyone else in this tower?" You cross your arms. "If you care so much about him, that is, you'd be pointing at anyone else."

Jason glances in front of you to Rose and you’re making a point, a completely insane point but a point nonetheless. He's not entirely sure where you’re going with this but he is curious how Rose knows it wasn't him. It is nice that she knows it's not, but curious what the explanation is nonetheless.

"Okay, how do I know it wasn't you?" Rose questions.

You give a cold smile. "See, now you're using me as a scapegoat because I asked. I know it wasn't Jason because I was with him. He's either me, with Gar, with the both of us, or you. So, for you to know it wasn't Jason means you would also know it wasn't me or Gar. So, who do you think really did all of that?" You blink at her.

The dots connect right then and Jason is pretty sure you’re accusing Rose. He has no idea why she would. How would Rose know any of that shit? It's like him. He wouldn't know any of that, so Rose wouldn't. A part of him is a little annoyed by it because now it's seeming like you can't set aside your bias.

"Are you accusing her?" Jason huffs from behind you.

"Nah, just asking questions." You shrug your shoulders and Rose holds a stern face. You aren't sure how or why it would be Rose but you do find it interesting that Rose is certain without pointing the finger at anyone. You turn around, dropping the argument. Of all people, Rose isn't worth fighting. "I won't convince you." You back down and Jason is surprised. You don't back down from anything besides your game of chicken. "But, uh, just call and text, okay? Me and Gar both care about you." You offer a soft smile.

"Yeah, yeah, alright." Jason chuckles softly.

You walk over to him and pull him into a hug. "Just...promise me, you'll be careful?" You whisper to him and you feel him nod against your shoulder. "Good. If shit gets too loud..." You pauses and it really hurts saying goodbye to him. "I'll come find you, okay?" You pull away, keeping your hands on his shoulders and smile gently at him. "Always." You offer him a nod, the lump in your throat almost suffocating you.

Jason nods at you, his hands on your waist and he wishes it were just the two of you for this. It should be. It hurts him, too. You’re his best friend. She means the world to him. You’re the only person who ever understood him for who is, all the way through. His chest aches and it's like it's just bleeding, openly for you. But, he has to ignore it but he cannot stay here. It's too heavy.

"Same to you." Jason nods at you. "Just call."

You give him the saddest smile Jason has ever seen. "Of course. Have fun, Jason Todd." There's the slightest break in your voice and Jason always decides to stay. Just almost.

"Don't have too much fun." Jason winks at you and you roll your eyes.

"Shut the fuck." You groan as you head for the door, giving a quick glare to Rose on your way out.

You head back to the living room, heart heaving and aching. You sit beside Gar on the couch, Dick is outside on the balcony, likely wallowing. You rest your head on Gar's shoulder and Gar puts his arm around you, pulling you close against him. He knows you’ve gone through a lot and it'd be easier, probably, if you would leave with someone. But, he is always going to be grateful that you decided to stay with him. Gar can't give up Dick. Everyone else is and Gar believes in second chances. He has to stay. Someone has to stay. And he is so happy you’re staying with him because he needs you.

"Thank you for staying." Gar whispers to you and you pick your head up, brows furrowed. "I would just get it if you wanted to leave." Gar's voice is soft, almost expecting you to change your mind.

"I know uh, but, I've been running from things forever and..." You pause, chewing the inside of your cheek. "They're all leaving anyway and you're here. I'm not gonna leave you with just Dick." You let out a weak laugh.

"Thank you." Gar offers you a grateful smile. "Are you okay?"

You nod your head and give Gar a fake smile. "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Worried for Jason's sake." You swallow every reason you’re not okay and the words stick to your throat like static.

Just then, Jason and Rose enter from the hallway. Rose is already on her way to the elevator, not offering anything to you or Gar. Jason, on the other hand, offers you both a nod of his head. Gar gives him a sad smile but the smile you give him is broken and hollow before Jason heads to the elevator.

"Think he'll be back?" Gar asks.

You shake your head. "No, I think his mind is made up. I think Dick burned him too bad this time." You say quietly. "He said he'd call and text though, both of us." You assure him.

Gar nods his head. "I'm gonna miss him."

"We'll hunt him down if he doesn't call or text." You smile at Gar. "Dick will owe us and Jason will probably end up back with Bruce so we'll figure it out." You wiggle your brows and that gets Gar to laugh.

"Got it all planned out."

"Always do." You smile widely but your smile falls as you watch Hank and Dawn head for the elevator, pausing when they see you and Gar.

"Are you guys gonna be okay here?" Dawn asks, her voice as sweet as usual.

"Yeah, if you guys want, you can come with us. You don't have to stay here." Hank nods at the both of you, earning a soft glare from you.

"I wouldn't go with either of you if someone paid me." You scoff at the both of them, Gar letting out a sigh beside you. He gets your anger towards them but Gar doesn't have it in himself to be mad at everyone.

"We're okay." Gar offers a somber closed mouth smile at them. "Thank you though."

"If you need somewhere to go, call us, okay?" Dawn asks you.

"We will." Gar assures.

"I will not." You nod your head, blinking at them. "Can't--"

"Okay." Gar lets out a sigh, lightly nudging you and shaking his head, eyes pleading you not to argue anymore. Dawn and Hank don’t say another word before they leave.

"Sorry." You let out a breath. "I'm just so fucking mad." Your voice cracks. "You didn't....you didn't see him, Gar. Just..." There's desperation in your eyes. "I'm so fucking mad at them for how they treat him."

"I know." Gar nods. "Me, too. He's my best friend and them blaming him for stuff he didn't do, that's not right. But, it's not worth arguing. They're gone anyway."

"I know." You nod your head with understanding.

The two of you sit together, comfortable in silence together as you watch Rachel and Donna leave together and then Kory following not long after. It's a sad moment. You hold a lot of bitterness but you did like having the older Titans around. It's sad to watch them deteriorate over this. You don't really get it because Dick did apologize and he did it to protect them. It wasn't right but they should understand that. If you can, everyone should. And you just can't believe you feel bad for Dick, but you do.

Dick walks in and looks at you both with sad eyes. "I'm gonna leave, too." Dick nods once at you and Gar and you sit up straight, nearly jumping from your seats. "You guys can hold down the tower. I'm gonna pack but you guys got this." Dick says as he turns around, leaving the two of you in the living room.

"Uh....yeah, what the fuck?" You look at Gar.

"I'm gonna go to talk him." Gar gets up quickly and leaves, rushing to Dick's room.

You stay in the living room while Gar chases after Dick to try and convince him. Your heart is heavy in her chest, it feels like your shoulders are going to collapse. After everything, it all just keeps falling apart. You swore this place could be home, but now everyone besides Gar is leaving. Your best friend, the one you share so much with, the one who gets you better than anyone, the one who you fight back the burning in your stomach for, is left. Gar is here which is great but having everyone else leave, is making this hole in your heart that you can't quite explain. And maybe you swear you’re just tired because it's been a long two week and trauma is exhausting.

"Yeah, hey, hi, I got a question." You hear Gar as him and Dick come walking in from the hall near the kitchen. Gar is facing Dick, stopping him from moving. "What about the unconscious naked dude down the hall?" Gar asks as you get up from your spot, getting a view of Dick with a bag. Even Gar was unsuccessful in getting him to stay and your heart sinks further.

"He's your number one job." Dick says, eyes locked on Gar. "His vitals are steady. Just check on him every few hours but nothing to worry about." Dick explains while you move to stand beside Gar. "He's probably going to outlive us all." Dick pauses for a second. "When he wakes up, call Bruce." Gar perks up with the name.

"Bruce Wayne?" Gar asks without missing a beat.

"No, Bruce Springsteen." Dick states.

"Who?" Gar mumbles, voice slightly deflated.

Dick shakes his head. "Look, Conner will probably want to get in touch with Superman. Bruce can make that happen."

Gar crosses his arm, almost vibrating with excitement as a smile splits his face and it makes the hole in your heart not feel so deep. "So, him and Superman are like..."

"Just call him, okay?" Dick asks and Gar nods. "He's your number one job." Dick nods his head at Gar. "Yours, too." Dick looks to you and then back to Gar.

"Number one job." Gar confirms.

"Number one job." You let out a sigh.

"That's all you gotta do." Dick states.

"All I gotta do." Gar repeats and you give Dick a thumbs up.

"Thanks." Dick sticks out his hand but Gar slaps it away and brings Dick for a hug.

Once they pull away, Dick turns to face you and you’re a lot more upset about him leaving than you’d like to admit. You have your issues with him but you do respect him. At the end of the day, despite everything that happened, he did save your life a few months ago. Dick did do his best and it should have been good enough.

"Yeah, I'll take the handshake." You offer Dick a smile and stick out your hand. Dick chuckles softly, shaking your hand.

"I'll be back." Dick says and he walks to the elevator, Gar and you following behind him. Dick gets into the elevator, looking back at you and Gar who are stopped outside of the hall. "Keep the faith, guys." Dick says as the elevator doors close.

The elevator takes Dick down, leaving you and Gar alone with Krypto and an unconscious Conner down the hall. It's just you. This is the emptiest the tower has been since Gar arrived and he's gotta admit, he does not like it. Gar doesn't like being alone. He has you, of course, which he knows will be nice but it felt like such a family, even with the fighting. The fighting made it seem more like a family and he's really gonna miss it, miss everyone.

"Well..." You let out a breath. "Now what?" You squat down and start to pet Krypto.

Gar joins you. "I have no idea." Gar chuckles softly. "Same as always, I guess."

"Movies, video games, training?" You raise a brow at him.

"Any other suggestions?" Gar asks.

"Nope," You laugh softly. "I’m gonna train then, wanna come?"

"You sure? I mean, we haven't done much training since..."

You nod. "Yeah, I'm fine. It just, uh," Your brows furrow as you looks past Gar for just a second. "Needed that break."

"From Jason or training?" Gar asks hesitantly.

You wince with the question. "Both." You shrug as you stand up. "Coming?" You jerk your head towards the hallway.

"Yeah, of course." Gar grins, getting to his feet and gestures for Krypto to follow you.

The two of you make your way to the training room and start to warm up. You wonder if this is what it will be like. Still having the same training sessions but with just the two of you and then having breakfast, more training. You wonder if you'll start to slack off or if this will become more of a habit because there's nothing else to do in the tower. You can't very well leave until Conner wakes up so it's just you and Gar. The one thing you do know is that training will distract you from the heaviness in your chest.

On a list of things you never thought you would have to do it, talking someone down from a roof was high up on that list, especially that someone being your best friend. And of all people, you never expected it to be Jason. Jason is resilient and hard-headed and stubborn as twelve pack mules. But, Deathstroke seemed to break some piece in him and then everyone turned on him. They confirmed every horrible thought he had ever had about himself. Even the most resilient people have a breaking point and Jason hit his today. And it's something that will haunt you and you think about it as you stretch, swearing that has to be one of the most selfish thoughts you’ve ever had.

It didn't happen to you, being haunted by it shouldn't happen but you’re worried about him. You’re here alone with Gar and your only thought is being worried about Jason because he tried to walk off a fucking roof after being dropped fifteen stories.

"You okay?" Gar pulls you out of your thoughts, you snapping your attention to him.

"Huh? Yeah, no I'm good." You fake a smile towards him.

"You were ignoring me." Gar gives you a shy chuckle.

"I'm sorry, Gar." You let out a breath. "I'm just thinking."

"You wanna talk about it?"

"Just...Jason, ya know?"

"Yeah, what, uh, what happened out there?"

"He was gonna walk off the roof so...."

"Wait, what?" Gar's entire face falls, his heart dropping into his stomach.

"Mhm, so, uh, Rachel had crucifixes drawn on her mirror I guess. She stormed into Jason's room and immediately put the blame on him but I was with him so I know he didn't do it, not that Rachel wanted to hear that side of it. Jason went to leave and the other Titans blamed him for this random shit he did not do. He just couldn't take it anymore, I guess. I don't know, worried about him."

"Why would they blame him? I know he gets on people's nerves but Jason wouldn't do any of that."

"That's what I said!" You yell, flinging a hand out dramatically. "Plus, he's always with one of us or both or Rose so we would know if he did it. It's so fucking stupid and I guess that was just his breaking point."

"That's really shitty." Gar's eyes grow sad. Gar kind of thought Jason went off to sulk somewhere and was more upset than usual. Gar did see the look of hopelessness across his face before Jason snuck off. He didn’t think it would lead him to the roof. "Do you think he'll be okay?"

"He thinks he's like a disease or something....like he ruins everything he touches. I told him it wasn't true so I don't know. I got him down which is good but I don't know. I hope he goes back with Bruce, honestly. I don't like Rose."

"Since when? You said she was cool."

"Yeah, but then she barged in when I was gonna convince Jason to say and she was being so......"

"MEAN!?"

"Yeah! And rude! Wouldn't stay out of the conversation! She was pretending like she knew best or whatever!"

"She did the same to me when you guys were....held captive by her dad."

"What!?" You shake your head. "What'd she say?"

"She was basically just blaming you and Jason for getting kidnapped as if it wasn't her dad and Dick that caused everything, not that we knew about Dick but it was her dad. And then she said not to project my guilt on her, Tiger boy." Gar mocks the way Rose said it.

"That's fucking rude, we didn't go out and—" You stop mid-sentence before furrowing your brows. "How'd she know you're a tiger?"

"That's what you're gonna focus on?"

"No, but..how'd she know? Dick doesn't tell people, I would know. He definitely wouldn't tell Rose on account of her dad. No one else would have told her besides Rachel, I guess."

"What are you getting at?" Gar didn’t think that was all that weird but you seems to think so.

"I don't know that's just like a weird ." You shake your head. "It's not that she went with Jason either, it was just the way she was that rubbed me the wrong way and I don't think she has his best interests and hearing what you said, I don't know. Bad vibe."

"Yeah, I get that. But hey, Jason is smart and he's definitely not gullible so if something is off, he'll figure it out."

"Yeah, I know." You offer Gar a soft smile and decide to drop. You know you’re probably just being paranoid given everything that’s happened over the last couple of weeks. "Well, let's train then." You get to your feet and Gar follows suit. "Spar like we always do?" You grab two of the practice swords, tossing one out to Gar.

"Works for me." Gar gets into position and you follow his lead. "Ready?"

"Go." You state and the two of you meet in the middle, you throwing the first swing, smacking Gar on the upper bicep. "You gotta block me, Garfield." You tease.

"Ha, ha, funny," Gar chuckles, taking a swing at you and missing as you jump out of the way and block him with your sword. "You know, I don't think we’ve ever done this, just us, I mean."

"That's because Jason practically lived in here." You laugh softly. "This is nice though, we never spar against each other and I'm winning. We usually lose. Today, I'll win though." Sam strikes quickly, smacking Gar's other bicep, wiggling your brows at him.

"Okay, no, I'm gonna win." Gar's smile is wide as he plants his feet firmly on the floor, a little more prepared for you to hit him again.

"Well, bring it on then." You mock him.

After two hours so training, you winning the sparring session, you call it a night and decide to order takeout. Naturally, you go with a pizza and breadsticks. While you wait, you check on Conner who's still unconscious and you head back to the living room. Gar lets you pick the movie since he got to pick the movie last time. You opt for one of your favorite comfort movies and go to Gar's room for some blankets. You prep the couch for the two of you, Krypto hopping up next to you and resting his head on your lap.

You and Gar watch the movie together and the two of you allow yourselves that time to relax. Today was a shitshow, and you should have some time to forget about it. Watching a movie together, eating pizza with Krypto, it allows that reprise. And you both deserve it.

The next morning comes around and Gar wakes up first. At some point, you both had fallen asleep and you used him as a pillow. This is different than the other times you've fallen asleep together because instead of a nightmare that drove you to him, it was just because you were tired and comfortable with him. And Gar thinks you’re the cutest person he's ever seen. You don't look so angry right now or stressed out. You actually look peaceful and he thinks you should always have peace of mind. No one deserves to go through half of what you went through. So, Gar carefully gets up, trying not to wake you, and heads to the kitchen to make coffee and breakfast for the both of you.

While Gar gets the food going, he starts thinking of a plan to get the Titans back together. They're supposed to be a team and they were once a really good team. They shouldn't be mad at each other and they can all be a team together. They should be a team together. And part of that is Gar doesn't like be alone. He never has, ever since he was little. He got separated from his parents at a zoo once and it was one of the scariest moments of his life. He hates being alone and yesterday, everyone besides you left him. So, he's taking it upon himself to get the band back together.

You wake up the sound of sizzling coming from the kitchen. You look at your legs and Krypto has made his way over to you, laying on you. A smile pulls at your lips as you pet him. You slide your legs out from under Krypto and sit up, stretching before making your way to the kitchen where you see Gar, flipping a pancake at the stove.

"Morning." Your voice is still filled with sleep and a little hoarse.

Gar turns around, a toothy smile shining bright. "Good morning."

"What're you doing?" You ask, taking a seat at the snack bar, Krypto trotting in not long after.

"Making breakfast. You like pancakes." Gar feels heat creep onto his cheeks as he turns back around.

"You're making me breakfast?"

"You made it for me." Gar chuckles softly. "You were still sleeping and you had a rough day yesterday."

You would be lying if your chest didn't still feel heavy from it. Your throat actually feels sore from all of the screaming. "Yeah, it sucked." You let out a scoff. "Thank you, that's very nice."

"Of course." Gar chimes. "How'd you sleep?"

"Uh, okay, actually. I think I was so fucking exhausted that...I didn't have problems." You laugh softly. "How about you?"

"Good." Gar states simply. "The couch is surprisingly comfortable."

"Yeah, right?" You nod your head in agreement before checking your phone.

Jaybird 🐦: Made it to a house we're fine

You: Good stay safe and wrap it before you tap it 🫡

"We doing the usual today?" You ask as Gar puts the pancakes on a plate.

"Yeah, but we should try to get the Titans back together." He states, looking over his shoulder, seeing your reaction. You’re very expressive.

Your eyes are slightly narrowed. You have no desire to get them back together. The only people you want back here are Jason and, surprisingly, Dick. Dick is at least somewhat a responsible adult and despite him being the cause for everything, you did feel safe with him at the tower. You aren't sure if that's some sort of growth on your part or if it's you still being mad the other Titans.

"Why?" You ask as your phone chimes.

Jaybird 🐦: 😏🥱

You: 🤮🤮🤢

You scrunch your nose with Jason’s reply, looking back up at Gar. Gar raises his brow, as if silently asking what the face was for.

“Jason, they’re fine.” You brush it off.

That’s kind of the thing for Gar. He likes you, he does. But he is not Jason Todd and he never will be. They’re similar enough, it’s why they’re friends. But they are drastically different people and he isn’t him. You’re smiling a goofy smile at your phone and Gar is pretty sure you’ve never looked at him in that way. Jason told him to tell you but Gar thinks he’ll go against that advice and pick a different route. Gar wants to know for certain before he gets his hopes up, since Jason isn’t here.

Jaybird 🐦: take your own advice

You: 😑 stfu

Gar places a plate in front of you. “It’s Jason…isn’t it?” There’s a solemn but understanding tone to Gar's words, making you look up at him again, confused.

“I just…I just said it was Jason?”

Gar let’s out an awkward chuckle. “No, I mean…it’s him, right?” Gar gains this soft and sad expression and you get it.

It hurts a little to confirm it but it’s for the best. Jason said Gar likes you and you alwaya felt like he did. It’s not fair to not tell him when you know for certain. That’s not right and Gar is your friend. You would never hurt him.

“Yeah.” You let out a sigh, of putting your phone on the counter. “Yeah, it is.” Your expression is sad, and sympathetic toward Gar.

Gar gives you a soft nod and he looks so sad. “How long have you known?”

“Yesterday,” You state. “I like you, too. It’s…I don’t know. Fucking Jason. I didn’t…I didn’t know until yesterday that it was him, when he was leaving. Like with Deathstroke, near-death experience, that's...too high of an emotional situation but yesterday..." You let out an exasperated sigh. "It hurt too much for it not to be. Telling off the Titans, all of that. Can’t really deny that.” You roll your eyes, more at yourself than Gar. “I’m really sorry, Gar.”

Gar nods with understanding. “It’s okay.” Gar assures you. “It sucks but it’s okay. Thank you for being honest.”

“I wish I could have been sooner.”

It does hurt but Gar also understands. Jason and you made it so obvious, he almost felt a little silly for even liking you. It aches in the center of his chest but he’s at least glad you were honest with him about it. It might not be him, but Gar isn’t the bitter type and at the end of the day, Jason and you are his friends. He just wants everyone to be happy.

“It’s okay.” Gar offers you a soft but small smile. “Did you tell him?”

“Absolutely not.” You laugh. “He would have stayed and I don't think him staying would have been good for him, he was so insistent on it and I get it. I was afraid if I told him, he’d stay.”

“Probably.” Gar chuckles and he lets the ache in his chest exist, but he pushes past it because you’re his friend. “Can I ask why you decided to stay then?” There’s a hesitance in Gar’s voice.

“You’re also my best friend.” You say it so simply that it brings a gentle smile to Gar’s face. “You’ve been there for me and he’s going off with Rose. Everyone leaving and stuff, I wasn’t gonna leave you here with just Dick. Glad I stayed since he left, too.”

Gar looks down with a gentle chuckle before looking back to you. “Thank you. It, uh, it means a lot.”

“Of course.” You give him a sweet smile and telling him feels so good. It’s actually relieving having that acknowledgment of it being Jason actually out in the open. You feel bad for hurting Gar but it’s relieving. “Anyway, what’s your plan? I trust you and if you think getting the Titans back together is a good idea, I’ll help.” You say and Gar gains a giant smile.

"We give them a few days to cool down." Gar cuts his own pancakes. "Then, we text them for random things, asking for help with some stuff. When Conner wakes up, we'll show them what he can do and they'll have to come back."

You find the mention of using Conner strange, even for Gar. But, at least that sounds like maybe it'll work. Who wouldn't want to work with some who's like Superman?

"The Conner thing might work but they might just text us the answers if we ask them?" You offer with a soft laugh.

"Which is why we keep bothering and we tell them that they're better as a team. We can convince them."

"You probably can." You laugh softly. "If they don't all hate me from yesterday, I'll be shocked." You clear your throat. "But, you, I mean you could probably convince all of them. No one likes to say to you."

"Really?"

"Yeah, you're so...you that you make it hard." You chuckle. "Like, you're so kind and innocent about everything. You never ask for anything either so if you're asking for something, we gotta say yes." Your eyes widen at him before you give him a grin. "Dick has never told you no since I've been here and neither has Jason and I think his favorite word is no." You shrug. "Well, and fuck but..."

Gar lets out a sigh. "I never noticed"

"Yeah, it's true. So, we'll come up with some stuff to bug them about and then you work your tiger magic to convince them. Plus, who doesn't want to live with a tiger?"

"Thank you." Gar's smile is grateful while the two of you continue your breakfast, discussing the Titans and what show you’ll start with all of your free time now.

As the day goes on, you and Gar train for a few hours, and order in more food. You take turns taking Krypto on short walks around the block while the other checks Conner's vitals. Jason checks in with you and Gar throughout the day, too and there is some comfort in that. At least, over text, he seems okay.

The night comes around and you opt for Gar's room where you play a few video games, Krypto still hanging out with you. That’s how you both spend the rest of the night, occasionally checking on Conner. Eventually, you head to your own room and sleep there for once, something about sleeping in Gar's room with feeling out in the open feels a little weird.

Over the next few days, you and Gar fall into your own routine. You take turns making breakfast before you go into training. You make your own training schedule, having three sessions a day and you schedule walks with Krypto while taking turns checking on Conner. You sleep in your own rooms and you deal with your nightmares alone, choosing to keep Gar out of them. You aren’t his responsibility and you decide maybe you should try and figure out how to handle those on your own. You tell Gar about them in the morning though because talking still does help a little.

And while this whole thing is nice, you’re also growing so bored. At least when Jason, Dick, and Rachel were around, you both always had people to talk to besides yourselves, people to hang out with and do things with. It’s just the two of you following the same routine for the last four days. You can’t leave the tower together so you’re just trapped here.

On top of that, you and Gar both get regular texts from Jason the first two days. Jason texts you more but he was keeping in touch. But, the last two days, he’s gone silent and makes you start to worry that something happened. Jason not texting you back just seems weird and it bothers you. It’s that gut feeling that says something just isn’t quite right.

"What are you thinking about?" Gar asks as hands you a Gatorade, the two of you taking a break from training.

"Huh?" The action snaps you out of your thoughts.

"You're thinking about something. I can always tell. What's up?" Gar asks, sitting on the bench opposite you.

"I dunno, I think I might just be paranoid." You try to shrug it off because you think you’re looking for a reason for something to be wrong. The last few days have been going well and you’re always waiting for the other shoe to drop.

"About what?" Gar lets out a chuckle.

"Jason..." Sam states hesitantly. "And Rose, ya know, it's just weird. We aren't really hearing from him."

"Yeah, no that is weird. But what does that have to do with Rose?"

It’s still bothering you. The whole interaction was five days ago. It’s not a sixth sense and maybe it’s your feelings for Jason that are clouding your judgment but it just does not feel right. And you stack Gar's conversation with Rose on top of it. The more you think about Rose coming to the tower and everything that followed after, the more it bothers you.

"I just mean....it's weird, right? Like, her showing up and being Deathstroke's daughter and everything that happened after?" You open the Gatorade bottle before taking a drink.

"I guess, but Dick brought her here and Deathstroke did try to kill her." Gar scrunches his nose, trying to be the voice of reason.

"Yeah, but....two's a coincidence and three's a pattern, right?"

"A lot of the time, sure. What exactly are you thinking?" Gar doesn’t think Rose had anything to do with anything. Gar isn’t her biggest fan because why would she? How would she have anything to do with any of it?

"Dick finds her, coincidence? Definitely. Her being Deathstroke's daughter, Dr. Light attacking the both of them at the same time, me and Jason being kidnapped, that shit with the other Titans Jason was blamed for, her knowing you tuned into a tiger. That's more than three, Gar." You suck in a breath. "And Deathstroke only even kidnapped me and Jason because Dick got Jericho killed. Why would he try to kill his last living child? That doesn't make any fucking sense."

Gar sits on for a second and you’re making a good point right now. It all does seem a little weird. But, Gar still isn’t so sure. That would mean the whole thing, Rose almost being killed and chased by the cops, all of that would have needed to be planned. Deathstroke would have needed to know one of the Titans would go off on their own in order to be kidnapped. It seems a little nuts.

"So, you think it was a setup?"

“I don’t know because I think I sound paranoid. But, who else did that shit to the other Titans? We know it was Jason or us. It wasn’t the other Titans. The only people left are Dick, Rachel, and Rose. It probably wasn’t Rachel. So Dick and Rose.”

“I do doubt it was Dick. He was acting weird, but not that weird.”

“Exactly, so we're back to Rose. How would Deathstroke even know Rose was here? The tower is supposed to be secure so he shouldn't have known Rose was here, right? How would he know and Deathstroke lost his son, but Rose lost her I brother that day, too. Rose kissed Jason and they were good but she went through the records Jason borrowed and found one that belonged to a Jericho and freaked out. So, he was important to her, it's not like they didn't know each other."

The thing about you is that you do not like unanswered questions, mysteries. Whenever there’s some unanswered question, you will dig and dig until you get an answer. You were the kid in your science classes asking why the sky was blue and refused to take “because it is” as an answer. It’s one of the reasons you always found Batman and Robin interesting. They were masked, no one knows who they are and you did not like that. A mystery. This is another mystery. The difference here is this mystery almost got your best friend killed and you’re not going to rest until you get an answer.

"So, you think Rose is working with her dad? As an inside guy?" Gar’s brows are knitted together, not buying this.

"Well, when you put it like that it sounds crazy, but yeah." You shrug casually, taking another drink of the Gatorade.

"Okay, so how did she know we went to find Dr. Light? If all of this was planned, she would have known, right? That's how you guys got kidnapped. Why else would Deathstroke have been there?"

"We aren't subtle. Maybe she saw us leave, Jason in the Robin suit and put two and two together. She did talk to Jason so it wouldn't be that hard to figure out that's where we were going. Maybe she got access to the cameras while we were all asleep and that's how she knew about the stuff with the Titans or maybe Deathstroke knew somehow. Dick said he had pictures of the Titans."

Gar lets out a sigh because you’re not gonna let this go and you’re very convincing. "Okay, come on, let's check the cameras." Gar gets up from his seat and you offer him a grateful smile.

Even when you’re being paranoid, Gar doesn't make you feel that way. He's very good about reassuring you and still letting you sort that out. He lets you weigh the reasonable and logical side of situations without being judgmental or condescending and you very much appreciate it. Gar really is a really good friend.

"Why would she leave with Jason though?" Gar asks as he sits at the computer, you sitting in the open chair next to him.

"Jason said he thinks Rose really liked him and maybe she actually does. So, maybe she does like him and doesn't want him involved in this shit anymore. If he's with her, maybe her dad won't target him again."

"It sounds a little far-fetched." Gar states as he types into the computer, pulling up security footage. "But it's at least worth looking at."

"Yeah," You let out a scoff. "I don't know. It just doesn't sit right."

"So, why would Jason suddenly not be answering?"

"Maybe, Rose thinks we'll figure it out because I don't like her. I was already suspicious of her so maybe she's gotten into his head or something. I don't know, but it's something. Jason would ignore everything else, but he would not ignore us."

"Yeah, that's true." Gar nods in agreement, mostly knowing that Jason would ignore everyone besides you so goes back to the security footage.

The two of you scan over the footage together over the last month, looking for any signs of Rose of doing anything weird. You don't find footage of her sneaking into rooms or laying anything out. But you find Dawn finding the picture of Elis and Rachel storming into the hallway following Jason. You actually didn't find anyone sneaking into the rooms of the older Titans.

"Huh." Gar hums, eyes narrowed at the screen.

"What?" You ask.

"Look, the time stamps are off." Gar points at the screen as he goes back a few hours. "Look, there's a jump here."

"Which means whoever planted the picture..."

"Also erased the footage."

"Can you recover it?"

"Maybe." Gar starts typing away quickly, trying to recover the footage. He should be able to get it back as long as the person who deleted it didn't t know about the backup server. It was one of the first things Dick taught him, just in case something were to get deleted. And sure enough, Gar finds the footage. "Wow, okay." Gar beams. "Check it." Gar pulls up the footage on the big screen and its Rose sneaking into the kitchen and planting the picture. "You were right."

"Holy shit." You stare at the screen and you can't believe you’re right. You really thought you were being paranoid.

"We gotta tell Jason."

"Yeah, I'll call him. You text him. If we're both spamming him, maybe he'll answer." You nod your head, getting up and the two of you pull out your phones.

Jason's phone starts going off, vibrating in the futon Rose is sharing with him. The vibrating wakes her up. She looks over and Jason is still sound asleep so she takes his phone. She sees a text from Gar first, telling him to call ASAP it's about Rose. Rose's heart sinks and then she sees the voicemail notification. She listens to it, hearing you tell Jason to call you back as soon as possible, you need to talk about Rose and he'll want to hear you and Gar out. Rose can't have Jason know, not yet, so she goes back to Gar's text.

Rose types out a quick and short text before hitting send. She glances over her shoulder a few times to make sure Jason isn't awake. Once the read notification goes thorough, she deletes the texts and then deletes your voicemail along with the call log.

She does like Jason, a lot. She never meant to lie to him or use him or hide any of this from him. But she knows that if he knows she's the reason the Titans attacked him, he'll never forgive her. So, she hides it to protect herself and him. Rose swears she'll tell him when the time is right, but right now is not the time. So, she hides the messages from him and puts his phone back.

Jason: She told me it's fine

Gar raises his brows and shakes his head, confused as he reads the text. "He said he knows? She told him." Gar shows you the text.

Your eyes narrow at the text. "That also seems weird."

"Hey, look, maybe she did tell him. Jason said he thinks she likes him so maybe she did come clean after they left. Maybe he does know and you're worried because of everything that happened." Gar keeps your feeling out of it. Bringing that up seems kind of like a low blow right now. Gar believes the text anyway. Why would Jason tell him he knows if he doesn't?

You let out a sigh because there's nothing you can do. It feels weird, seems weird. You thought if Jason found that out, he would tell you. Maybe not leave Rose because maybe he really, really likes her and forgives her. Maybe Jason was never supposed to get hurt in all of it anyway. The reality is that you don't know what goes on between him and Rose and you don't have a real reason not to believe his text.

"Okay," You let out a breath and decides to let it go. Maybe it's all fine and Jason is just having fun in his relationship. "Thank you for checking this out with me." You give Gar an awkward chuckle.

"Yeah, of course." Gar nods his head. "You were right." Gar laughs softly. "Let's uh, check on Conner and play Mario Kart." Gar stands up, a glowing smile on his face.

The next morning, you make you and Gar breakfast and you sit at the snack bar together, bored of your routine. But, lucky for you and Gar, Conner wakes up and joins you. You find him funny. He's very chipper, very excited, and happy-go-lucky. He actually reminds you of Gar in a way but like a little kid version of him. It's funny and kind of adorable.

The two of you explain to Conner what the tower is and who the Titans are. Gar tells him he can be a Titan because of the things he can do. He's special like all of you and you nearly rolls your eyes out of your head with the comment. But, it's kind of true. Gar then goes off to call Bruce before you and Gar take Conner into the training room to see more of what he can do, Gar explaining more about the Titans and how everything will be better once they're together again.

You’re going along with this but you really aren't sure there's anything you and Gar can do to get them back. You don't even think having Conner around is going to change their minds. Gar looks up to them and you get that but, shit got hard and they left. They gave up. They have way bigger issues to deal with and you and Gar trying to convince them to come back isn't going to be enough. But, you let Gar talk because you can't crush him.

The next day rolls around and you and Gar decide to take Conner and Krypto out, show Conner around some of the city. The two of you have gotten stir-crazy and this way, you and Gar can teach Conner more stuff he'll need to know.

"So," Gar starts, resting a hand on Conner's shoulder as the four of you walk. "Think of San Francisco as one big three-dimensional, interactive, multi-player video game. And you're Player One." Gar points at him and you think it's funny that Gar compares life to a video game. It makes perfect sense but you know you never would have thought of that and likely would have ended up confusing Conner further.

"Okay." Conner says as you round the corner.

"And it's your job to make sure everyone stays safe and no one gets hurt."

"Is that what the Titans do?" Conner asks.

"Well, we don't, but the old Titans did." Gar gives you a look as if knowing you want to fight that comment.

So, you bite it back. "Yeah, they kept everyone safe." Your voice is a little flat but luckily, Conner doesn't really pick up on speech patterns yet so he believes you.

"Dick mostly just kept us locked up in the tower. "Gar chuckles awkwardly. "Y/n, Jason, Rachel, and I talked about how we wanted more real-life experience. And once the team is back together again, I think he'll get it."

Gar has so much faith and so much optimism. You aren’t sure if Dick will be willing to allow all of you some experience but maybe you’re wrong. Maybe with everything that’s happened, he’ll see that you all can do it. You all should be allowed to so you admire Gar’s optimism.

"I know this sounds crazy but once the teams knows you're awake and can see what you can do, they'll be back in a hurry." Gar says confidently.

“Yeah, I mean, who doesn’t want to work with someone who’s half Superman.” You add in. Superman at least still seems really cool and nice.

"So, what can you guys do?" Conner asks looking between the two of you.

"I shoot acid from my hands and know when people are gonna attack me." You deadpan and Conner's brows furrow. "It's not...it's a thing." You shrug it off while Conner looks to Gar.

Gar laughs sheepishly. "It's-it's no big deal."

Your brows furrow at Gar. turning into a tiger is definitely a big deal.

"Come on. Can you show me?" Conner asks.

"Now's not the best...time." Gar winces, looking at all the people around you, minding their own business.

"Well, can you tell me?" Conner asks.

"Just tell him." You state. "It's really fucking cool, I swear." You look back at Gar. "Well, I don't really know because I have yet to see it. But It's probably cool." You say and you move next to Conner, almost expecting Gar to do something so you can finally see him turn into a tiger. In the middle of the day. In public.

"Yeah...yeah." Gar's brows furrow. "It's kind of weird but I can turn into a tiger." Gar beams with pride.

Conner looks so overjoyed and astounded. "No way!" Conner laughs.

Gar's chest fills with pride. "Yeah."

"What's a tiger?" Conner's laugh subsides.

You double over, laughing loudly. Conner’s innocence is so precious and you hope he can hold onto that. The world is a rough place and it needs more people like Conner and Gar.

"I'm sorry, it's not..." You choke out. "You just looked so excited and you don't even know what it is. You're amazing. Keep being you, Conner."

Gar deadpans at you before pulling you both over to the side. Gar is blocked by the both of you while he starts to growl and then his face starts to shift into that of a tiger, his eyes glowing green. You’ve only seen the green tint, not anything like this.

"That's awesome!" Conner yells as Krypto barks.

"That is sick and also a little terrifying. Nice." You beam, surprised Gar was so willing to show you and Conner. It’s so fucking cool.

"There's more to it. I'll show you later."

"Finally." You state.

Before any of you can say anything else, the three of you hear someone yelling for help. Conner puts his hand on Gar's shoulder, pushing past him softly and you see the guy that's yelling. That's not good. A guy is being arrested and Conner looks thrilled.

"Game on. Hero time." Conner states with excitement before he uses superspeed and grabs the cops but the back of their uniforms.

"That's really not good." You state while Gar's expression turns to panic, Conner bashing one of the cops's heads into the window of the cop car.

"Conner, no!" Gar yells but Conner throws the cop into the bushes and then pins the other cop to the ground. He looks at you and Gar, happy with what he's going. He literally does not know any better.

You both should have been a little more specific about helping people. You can't get mad at Conner though. He heard someone yelling for help and as a Titan, when someone yells for help, of course, he's going to step in. And you also should have been more clear about how you help and how you go about the whole situation. What Conner is doing is definitely not it.

"What the fuck do we do?" You start to panic. You don't want Conner to get arrested. You aren't even really sure how that would work and that would cause a whole lot more problems.

"I have no idea." There's panic etched in Gar's words. If you two step in, you risk being involved which also means getting arrested and then what do you do?

Two more cop cars pull up, four cops exiting their vehicles and pointing their guns at Conner. They start shooting Conner. Luckily, Conner is bulletproof but chaos ensues around them, pedestrians fleeing for safety. Conner starts to completely lose it and attacks one of the cops. Krypto takes that as a signal to join in, attacking another one. Gar and you hear more sirens coming forward and you hate to do it, but you look at Gar and decide to it’s time to run.

"We gotta go unless you go spend several nights in jail." You yank him by the collar of his shirt and the two of you start running in the other direction.

The two of you run all the way back to the tower, chests heaving by the time you get back. You look over your shoulder and no one's followed you. For a second, you hate thinking it, but it was kind of thrilling. It reminded you of your days back in Gotham. Running from the cops, the asphalt hard under your feet. The thrill of possibly getting caught. It's been a long time since you’ve felt something like that. But, you look back at Gar as you take the elevator up and he is panicking. Face riddled with guilt.

You feel guilty, too. You and Gar had one job and you dropped the ball. Then, you ran away. You know you and Gar couldn’t have done anything to help Conner without digging an even bigger hole but you feel guilty anyway. You and Gar abandoned him.

"Hey," You put your hand on Gar’s shoulder. "It's gonna be okay, Gar."

"How can you say that? He just attacked a bunch of cops." Gar panics, walking into the tower once the door opens.

"Uh-huh, but he's like...a carbon copy of Superman so...he can beat them. Like, they'll never catch him."

"That's not the point." Gar grits his teeth and he can't believe that's where you’re going with this.

"I mean, kind of. Like, it sucks and everything but...at least he won't get caught. We can sort it out when we find him or he finds us or something." You’re choosing to be the optimistic one this time. Gar definitely needs some optimism. And none of it is a lie. You do think Conner will escape them and you’ll find him. He doesn't have anywhere else to go and you have access to the city’s surveillance system.

"It doesn't matter that he won't get caught. He was our responsibility and because of us, he's out there! Now he's alone."

"I know." You state, feeling the guilt creep back over you. He was your responsibility but Dick left the two of you alone with a strange man as if you were supposed to know how to handle that. You did not do as asked but...that's not the point here.

"I'm gonna try to call Dick." Gar mutters, walking off towards the training room.

You let out a sigh and you aren't sure what to do. Maybe you should have tried to called Bruce more than once but now you can't since you lost Conner. It's all a mess again. Everything gets okay for a minute and then it gets messy. It's the same routine but you can't dwell on it because Gar is the one beating himself up for it. So, you follow Gar and find him in the display room, sitting in the display that says "Hawk".

Gar puts the phone to his ear while you take a seat in front of him. You rest your hands on his knees, squeezing softly.

"Dick, uh..." Gar's voice is breathy as it cracks, tears coming to his eyes. "I'm-I'm sorry. Something really bad happened and it's my fault. I need your help, so..." Gar's voice is desperate as he holds his arm with his free hand. "Call me back, yeah?" Gar pulls the phone away from his head, hanging it up.

"It's not your fault, Gar." Your voice is soft, brows knitted together.

"How?" Gar nearly whines. "He was my responsibility and now he's out there and he just--"

"Stop." You cut him off, shaking your head. "Dick left us in charge of him which was a bad idea. Now, Dick isn't answering his phone. We had no business trying to do this alone. Conner has been awake one day." You stress. "Even if we got ahold of Bruce, maybe it would have happened anyway. Dick didn't say we couldn't leave the tower." You’re very good at finding loopholes. "It's not your fault, okay? We'll find him and it'll be okay."

"How?"

You shrug. "I don't know." You laugh softly. "Because we'll work together. You survived a demon and I survived Deathstroke. We can find Conner." Your smile is gentle and soft, making Gar feel al little better about the whole thing. "I believe in you, Gar." You take your hands off of his knees and stands up, offering him your hand. "Let's get on the cameras and see if we can find him." Gar gives you a thankful but weak smile before taking your hand.

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warrior-u-preservation · 2 years ago

Text

Interview with The Path Podcast (Full written responses)

(Note: The interview itself will be different, since mod myne represented both mods on the podcast. However, this includes our full feelings on the questions that were provided to us.)

Who are you and how did you end up walking the path of a "warrior u" writer/comic creator?

Myne: I go by worldismyne for fandom related pursuits.

I'd like to clarify that Aisha Thani is the creator of Warrior U. Just like multiple people have written for Stan Lee's creations, I'm just a writer who's received permission from the creator to distribute and monetize works within her universe.

I've been in the WU fandom since 2014; at that time Aisha made the comic, ran an in character ask blog, a concept art blog and the main blog. I can only imagine how much work that was. A hard drive crash killed about 6 or so pages of Ambrosia, the last story arch she was working on; three weeks worth of updates up and gone. I watched writer’s block take hold and kill my favorite series in real time. Having to go back and redo work she’d already done had given her time to look at it and go ‘I can’t post this, this is awful’, but by then all of us were waiting for the next update for over a month, she couldn’t go back and rewrite the entire arch. It didn’t help that this was the origin story for a fan favorite character, so there was all this pressure to make it perfect. Instead, after about six artists made fan comics to feed the hungry fandom… she announced the end. The website, the blogs, one by one they all ran into issues and got shut down. Hundreds of pieces of art and story concepts just… lost. Once the comics were rereleased on gumroad, that was it, the fandom slowly died. Before this project, the last time the creator posted new content was in 2017. Then in the middle of the pandemic, out of nowhere I get 70+ notifications from Coffee reblogging the pieces of art I had saved from the old blog, including drafts from the unfinished issues.

Coffee: well, i go by coffee online, im 20 years old and when im not working on my various personal projects i work part-time. i was introduced to warrior u WAYY back in the day (i think i was like 9-ish?) by my brother who found out about it through some unknown and mysterious ways. back then i had very limited internet access (meaning i could only visit sites that could be loaded by the internet app on my nintendo dsi), so i pieced together a bit of a plot from what i could find on google images. i wasnt able to fully read the comic until i was 13 (i had to BEG my mom to pay for the pdfs lol), but it had kinda always existed in the back of my mind ever since i was introduced to it. i decided a little over a year ago to start out the tumblr blog because i had recently read through the comic again and was really sad about just how hard it is (or i guess WAS now) to find a lot of things related to the comic. as the name of the blog suggests, its original purpose was to preserve/archive warrior u stuff so it could be more accessable to your average internet user who might not wanna go digging through internet archives. it was originally for official content EXCLUSIVELY, but myne talked me into also including fan-made content (and im glad he did, its WAY harder to find some fan content than i remember it being just a few years ago). its kinda hard to tell how good of a job it does at BEING that archive, but i like to think it could be useful to someone out there.

i had toyed with the idea of finishing the last official story arc- ambrosia- near the beginning of the blogs lifespan, but i knew that it was too big of a project for me to do myself. i didnt wanna dissapoint people by leaving the ALREADY unfinished arc STILL unfinished. i had written in the "about" section of the blog that the dream was a full fandom revival, but i didnt actually expect that to happen. when myne joined the blog we eventually started playing with the idea of finishing ambro. i forget how exactly we officially decided we would do it, but we did! at some point near the beginning of ambro, we had also decided we were gonna write our own fan-arcs and post those too, and the rest is history!

What was it about warrior u that made you say "this is it. i need to make more content of this."

Coffee: honestly? i think it was just how much i enjoy introducing people to the comic. i already make tons of fan content on my own time, so that wasnt really the crazy part. i had shown a couple of my mutuals the comic after i re-read it, and the feeling of seeing other people actually talk about and even make ART of warrior u was absolutely surreal. i guess thats what happens when you just silently admire a dead fandom for years LMAO! another big part of it was HOW the comic ended. after taking a hiatus, the creator ended the comic mid-arc because creating it just wasnt enjoyable anymore, and thats obviously completely fair. however, the arc it ENDED on was elaborating on the backstory of one of (if not THE) most popular characters at the time (and my personal favorite), so i had always wished that the issue could have been finished. its kinda hard to put into words, but finishing ambrosia was like a love letter to the comic and its creator to me. as flawed as the plot of that arc may be (and as unsatisfied with it as the creator was, at least back then) i still felt like it deserved to be finished. it was like fixing an old toy from your childhood, i felt like we were taking care of the comic in a way, giving it the love it deserves. maybe thats just my tendency to personify objects and get overly attached to them coming through, but hey thats how it is sometimes LMAO

Myne: When the comic was still on hiatus after the harddrive crash, some people had asked Aisha if she wanted to hand the series over to other artists to help her. She said she wouldn’t even know where to begin that process or if she’d wanted to do it. I would have offered then, but my skills as an artist and a writer weren’t nearly as strong. I held onto the drafts thinking, one day I’d do it.

Myne: After Coffee and I started talking I realized, I can do it now. I know what kind of style of pens were used, and I whipped up a page, just the line art and sent to Coffee as a thank you. I thought, it isn’t much, and it’ll take me forever to color everything, but if there’s one person willing to read it, I’ll try. When I explained how difficult it’d be for me to color, he offered to do it for me. Suddenly a page that would take a month for just me to do on my own took 3 days.

Myne: Something, that seemed like a monumental task became a realistic goal. We were able to find, restore, and edit 45 pages within a few months. I’m still amazed we were able to do weekly updates without missing a day. Coffee asked if I’d ever be willing to write fan issues while we were working, not realizing I was the author of the longest fics in the series. Of course I said yes. Seeing Warrior U get finished, even through fan creation, was something I’d wanted to see for years.

You're from Az right, how is the webcomic weeb culture over there as opposed to california?

Myne: Idk about much about Cali, I've noticed the cons are more... professional? Where as Arizona cons have more of a fanclub vibe. Most panels are hosted by your fellow nerds rather than sony or production companies. I will say, that it's become more common and widespread in the last ten years, with multiple anime specific events year round. Back when I was a kid, I'd get made fun of for drawing 'japanese' people all the time.... it was pokemon fanart... Where as nowadays, I feel the average kid recognizes most big name titles thanks to hulu and such.

What are your favorite anime/manga/webcomics and do any inspire your work?

Coffee: not really an anime, manga, or webcomic, but ive always been super inspired by the "scott pilgrim" series. when i was in middle school i was SUPER into it, reading all the behind the scenes stuff i could find. it even made me look into "comic illustrator" as a career option, but i also did the same thing with "game designer" and "animator" so yknow. as for webcomics, the only one i ever really got into was homestuck. side note- the overlap of oldschool homestuck fans and warrior u fans is FASCINATING to me. my current theory is that all these tumblr kids were looking for other webcomics to read while homestuck was on one of its MANY hiatuses(?) and so a bunch of them flocked to warrior u! theres tons of homestuck crossover content and references in fan art on our blog (some of the art styles also look homestuck-ajacent) so its at least clear that a lot of fans back then were also really into homestuck. ANYWAYS other than that i havent really read many other webcomics tbh? weird considering i MAKE one now but what can i say, im more of a Gamer than anything lol. as for anime, my favorite is easily keroro gunso (or sgt. frog if youre using the dub name)! its another thing i discovered when i was young (this time i was like 8) and have just never gotten over. theres a lot of Questionable stuff in it (prime example is an adult alien being madly in love with a 14 year old girl) but if i dont look at canon its not real so i love it anyways <3.i honestly dont know how many people really know about it since the western fanbase is so small, but its like HUGE in japan (or at least it was at one point, the titular keroro has a cameo in lucky star as a keychian) and the manga is still running to this day iirc. it was created by mine yoshizaki and the basic premise is that a platoon of frog-like aliens come to earth to take it over but they really suck at it. they begin living with humans and from there its kind of a mix between a slice-of-life and monster-of-the-week anime. i cant really say anything in depth about the manga because ive only read the first 5 issues of it, which are basically the same as the anime (fake fan smh), but ive heard that it gets more mature and serious than the anime does (which i guess is bound to happen when it goes on for so long). also the manga has some ecchi moments and blood used for slapstick purposes so if anyone wants to check it out just keep that in mind lol.

Myne: Obviously Warrior U. I'm a bit of a visual novel fiend, so Danganronpa is a series I've found a lot of inspiration from over the years. More recently Though for the comic, I draw mostly from late 80s / early 90s high fantasy. Things like Labyrinth and Robinhood: Men in Tights. Honestly anytime I get stuck trying to come up with a gag, I look to Mel Brooks.

So in continuing someone else's work, do you feel a sense of pressure to be just as good as the original?

Coffee: i definitely felt that way when it came to ambrosia, but i feel a lot less pressure when it comes to our upcoming issues. i wrote and made thumbnails for a few small scenes in ambro and i was SO SCARED of those scenes being noticably worse than the rest of the issue. i know the original creator has seen our version of ambro and those scenes by extention, but i dont know her exact thoughts on them. im satisfied with them but theres probably always gonna be that kinda star-struck stage feeling at the thought of the creator reading the scenes i wrote. its like getting stage fright. for our upcoming issues i dont feel as much pressure because theyre fully fan-written. our comics arent official in any sense of the word and theyre basically just fanfiction with extra steps, so its not nearly as stressful as trying to tie together an "official" story. there definitely WOULD be that pressure if we were ever given the rights to warrior u or something (which i dont want to happen) because then it WOULD be official yknow? also if the creator decides to keep up with what we post ill feel a bit more pressure, but i get the feeling that she wants to distance herself from warrior u a bit so im not sure how likely that would be.

Myne: I do. Partially because, the fan content we’re making is completely free while the original series is purchasable on gumroad. So there’s a chance that some people may start with what we’re working on, then go backwards to the original. I'm hyper aware of the tonal shift that's about to happen, no matter how much I try, I can't perfectly emulate someone else's writing style. The best I can do is capture the spirit of it. I just keep repeating "it doesn't have to be perfect, it just has to be". It's a little harder taking that advice now that it's my scripts we're turning into issues. There is some freedom in knowing the series was never meant to be perfect though.

What drove you to writing the longest fanfiction for the series and how did it feel to be recognized and promoted by the original creator?

Myne: When I was younger, I would write fanfic instead of paying attention in class, and I really wanted a full story about the leads getting together. Knowing that the creator was reading every fanfic at the time added more fuel to the fire. I had a guaranteed audience, the audience. I was so grateful that she recommended it to other fans. That fic was 25k, I've written about 100 K in the last year to help maintain interest in addition to new pages to the comic. To that I blame hyperfixation and hiatus brain. You have to be the biggest fan of the thing you're making.

So i see the that most of your work including the webcomic Warrior U is on tumblr why did u choose to promote om tumblr as opposed to other webcomic outlets like webtoons, mangadex etc?

Coffee: the answer to this one is actually pretty simple; i already had a warrior u blog and tumblr is the social media/blogging site that im most familiar with! we have recently started using comicfury and tapas, but that was entirely mynes idea. im personally pretty content with just hanging out in my little corner of the internet so any attempts to expand or get the word out is mostly (if not entirely) mynes doing LOL!

Myne: It's interesting you bring up those two actually. Webtoons recently come under fire for being pretty crummy to it's indie comics, particularly if you write in any genre other than romance. Mangadex is a pirating website, so most of the comics there are fan translations rather than uploads from the creators : they had a pretty bad data breach a few years back too. At first we only had permission from the creator to upload on tumblr. Once we got permission to move forward with the fanmade run, we branched out to tapas and comicfury. They seemed like the best options for the genre and style we write in. Even still, we see about double the growth in readership on tumblr as opposed to the other outlets, and I think that's mostly because the blog updates daily, even though we only publish one page a week.

Do you have any plans on creating your own webcomic/manga?

Coffee: yes and no. i sometimes draw small fan comics and id like to make more polished and "finished" ones in the future, but nothing with any kind of overarching plot, at least not in the near future. i have a very hard time making original content for whatever reason. i DO have one (1) personal project that is completely original, but i plan on making a game with that. then again i have NO idea what im doing with that project anymore so who knows, maybe one day i WILL decide to turn it into a comic! only time will tell…

Myne: I have a visual novel I'm working on. It's about teen super villains that have to go to reform school. Think teen titans meets gifted kid burnout. The game's been in development hell since our first alpha build and writing about apocalyptic civil unrest wasn't as fun as it was pre 2020. We're about 200k into the draft for the full game and we're having to switch engines, which means cutting a bunch of features, but we're slowly getting there. If that fails, I'll try adapting the story into a comic.

To those people who will see this and decide to strut down the path of comic creation what is some advice you can give them?

Coffee: i think the most HELPFUL advice i could give would be this: you dont have to do everything by yourself. i personally have taken tons of inspiration from indie artists/game designers/etc. some prime examples of this are daisuke amaya aka pixel (who created cave story) and toby fox (who created undertale and deltarune), who both made incredible pieces of art that were defining to me as a person when i discovered them either entirely alone or almost entirely alone. you hear stories all the time of these great pieces of art being made by one or two people, and ive always wanted to be like that. as a result ive alwasy had a hard time reaching out for help when it comes to my art, feeling like if i cant do it all alone that itll never be as good as it could be. as a result though, all this mindset does is keep things from actually getting done and needlessly stress you out. NONE of the warrior u comics would exist if i had never gotten help from myne, and the blog would have probably gone inactive a LONG time ago too. i think thats the biggest lesson ive learned from this whole thing personally. theres absolutely no shame in working with a team of people if thats what needs to happen to see a project be realized.

Myne: One, try not to put more than 8 panels on a page, that's helped me a bunch with page layout. And two, find someone you can show your work to. That can be a friend, a mutual online, a family member; as long as you have that one person asking "what happens next" you can keep writing. The stories/comics I have that are the longest are because of that.

What inspires your art and what would u say you consider your style to be?

Myne: Invader Zim, Danganronpa, and Pacthesis have heavily influenced my art style. (pacthesis made a series of free dating sims on deviant art). I've always considered my art style to be pretty shoujo manga, but lately some of my pieces have been labeled too western for weeb spaces.

What advise can you give the next person who wants to draw art and share it with the world?

Coffee: i give the same advice to everyone i meet that says theyre thinking of making art in any form, and i mean it from the bottom of my heart: DO IT! im so in love with art of all kinds and the process of creating it, and i think that getting into any creative hobby is nothing but a good thing and i deeply believe that everyone should do it. whether you wanna draw, write, make music, develop games, sculpt, knit, etc, do it! quality doesnt matter at all, you can make the most technically awful thing in the world but as long as you enjoyed the process of creating it then it still has value. dont be nervous about your art being good enough. if you dont want to share it then you arent obligated to! i dont share like 90% of the stuff that i make but i still create art almost every single day! recently my qpp (queerplatonic partner) has gotten into drawing and im SO happy for them. they primarily use mspaint and a mouse to draw and their art is SO adorable and i love it so much, and im not just saying that because i love them. it doesnt matter what skill level you start at or what tools you have, you can always start making art. and dont compare the art that you make to others art, which i know from experience is a VERY easy trap to fall into. i dont have as much to say about that point because im not as passionate about it but uhhh yeah :3

Myne: Social media algorithms are not going to make you happy; no matter how well you play the game and low engagement does not mean you're a bad artist. If you keep posting and talking to other artists, you'll find your audience.

So at wonder con where we met ylu were cosplaying power from chainsaw man with a group of girls who were cosplaying other chainsaw characters. Do you girls normally group up and cosplay and if so how did you get into it?

Myne: I was born into cosplay. My parents were gamers and cosplayers, and I started picking my own characters to cosplay when I was 14. I started getting more into it in college when I could find other people to cosplay with, it wasn't until this year I started aiming for photoshoots. I tend to be in at least one large group cosplay a con, and bring a different costume every day.

What was your favorite cosplay you've done?

Myne: It's a toss up between Persona 5 Joker and Alluring Secret Rin. Those were the ones I put the most work in that still hold up. Though I'm currently working on Eris from the Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy, and that may overtake them.

Have you ever thought to cosplay someone from Warrior U?

Myne: I do actually! I've cosplayed as the main character Finn a few times. I really like taking simplified designs from comics/cartoons and turning them into heavily detailed looks. '

Where do you see warrior u being in 5 years from now?

Coffee: man, honestly if were STILL working on this project 5 years from now that would be CRAZY. this is already the longest ive worked on a single project before, along with being the most ive ever gotten DONE for a project, so thinking about what it could be like in 5 years is like. WOW. by that point we would have archived most (if not ALL) of the older stuff we could find, so our blog would probably just be new pages and fan interaction if were still going! the dream is still for a full fandom revival, and weve already got a small active fanbase (of like 5 people but still) so who knows, maybe that dream will be a reality?

Myne: We have at least 3 years worth of story drafted and lined up, and even more outlined. So ideally still updating. By then, we'll have some physical releases of the finished arcs that we've written available for purchase online and at select events. The creator has said she has no interest in making physical releases of the original run. I'd love for that to change, but I respect her decision and I won't press the matter. I'm just grateful we have permission to sell anything we make using her characters.

If you could go back in time 5 years, what advice would you give yourself?

Coffee: 15 and 16 were ROUGH ages for me tbh. i wont get into it because its super personal, but i was struggling with a lot and just generally not having a very good time. i think the best advice i could give to myself would just be that like. things will eventually get better. no matter how dark or hopeless things may be, theres always a silver lining and a light at the end of the tunnel. now if 15 year old me would have taken that to heart is a whole DIFFERENT question, but thats what i would say. 16 was like right before i (finally) started getting treatment for my mental health, so i think considering everything thats what i would say.

Myne: So many bad things happened during those five years, but… I wish I knew what burnout felt like, so I could recognize it. I have this tendency to put my self worth into “how much have you done today”, so once I started working full time and my father passed, I couldn’t recognize that I was physically and emotionally exhausted some days and needed rest, so I’d just punish myself mentally for not being more motivated. You shouldn’t need permission to rest, and I felt like I had to. It’s healthy to ‘nothing’ sometimes, especially if you’re dealing with things you have no control over.

Coffee: thank you for interviewing myne and i for your podcast :D!! its absolutely wild to think that ive done anything interview-worthy and yet here we are! for anyone thats interested in the comic because of this, i also emplore you to go check out the creators current comic "si3lah" (pronounced like si-ayn-lah i think? the 3 is a stand-in for an arabic letter) on gumroad! it deserves way more attention than it currently has and you should 100% go support the original creator if you like the stuff we do (wink wink).

#mod speak #interview #official

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