#as long as you arent actively bothering them i dont see the problem.

[joshus-lobster]

Parasocial hate, parasocial love, non-parasocial appreciation, what if i didnt chose to be in a parasocial relationship but im in one now???? Welcome to Parasocial Noncon, I am stuck in this and its because of the autism. I did not chose to be here. Don’t come after me, I will die on this hill.

[blackpilljesus]

I've not dated or had close relations with moids in years. I've been on the path to spending the rest of my days as a single childfree woman & committing to it as an osawoman. During this time here's what I've learnt, shorter version here:

This lifestyle is a privilege - being able to exist without having to directly depend on a moid romantically/sexually is a luxury. Know the privilege you have and how you can take full advantage of it and keep yourself set. We arent living this way solely bc we're smarter, we were just momentarily luckier. Most women are a political/natural disaster away from losing everything. Bear this in mind; along the way think of "what if" to best start preparing yourself.

Dont bother justifying your ways to people - Most wont and dont want to get it. Save your breath. By getting into back and forth arguments over not marrying moids & not having children you are digging a deeper hole for yourself by giving them more fodder to counter. They wont change their minds. End the conversation short & move on.

You cant save everybody - Ditch the saviour complex. We all get dealt bad hands in life; some worse than others. Other peoples lives arent your responsibility, there's only so much you can do because you've got your own issues too. Besides some are too far gone, you'll only end up drowning or being burned trying to save others especially if they dont want saving.

Recruitment is a waste of time - I often see extensive discourse around this topic w/ some women trying so hard to recruit others into this lifestyle or being separatists, wgtow, etc. All this does is waste time that can be spent on building instead. If some women dont get it oh well it's not the end of the world (although every woman does get it, they're just doing what they can t survive) it doesn't matter long term TO YOU because if you're serious you dont need other womens understanding/stamp of approval to build a network/resources for women; you can get started without them; heck some may join once they see the value like how so many women broke up with their partners after watching the barbie movie. Some women are more focused on recruitment than living the single childfree life they claim to be about and it consumes them - dont let recruitment consume you. Besides other women willingly engaging with moids buys you some time; those who know - know.

Most activism is a waste of time. Things only change when it benefits those in power but they will never relinquish their power entirely. It's great to put knowledge out there for others to learn but getting into discourse having to justify yourself & being swallowed by your activism will do more harm than good. Most activism is a stepping stone at most for the next chapter of your life. Learn to game the system instead of changing the system.

Focus on yourself. Everything as we know it is rooted in the system that has been perfected over the millenias. The problems of misogyny, racism, ableism, etc have existed before we were born and will exist after we die (part of why im not birthing into this mess). Trying to change it is a losing battle. This doesnt mean dont advocate or care about anything but look out for yourself first & be comfortable learning to existing between the cracks. It'll be quite the exercise tho as we've been socialised to prioritise others.

This is not a lifestyle one simply chooses it's something that chooses you. This isn't for everyone, those who know; know. If you require a lot of convincing or handholding then it isn't for you.

It gets lonely. Not because of not having a moidfriend; even when partnered with them many women still feel lonely. It's because most women are moid centric / obsessed and would want to be partnered with an xy someday or already are. Very few women truly commit to or understand this lifestyle irl tbh. Even my moots who are separatists or just single & childfree are halfway across the world. However that said, many women in the community can also be toxic; holding each other to high standards and there being constant bickering. You can befriend moid partnered women but be careful with them. We're surrounded by the system, existing out of core elements of it will come with a degree of isolation but on the bright side there's also peace if it all goes well.

Less is more. The less you say to others the less ammunition they have to hit you with. Bragging about this lifestyle to our predators will only make things harder because they've already got a huge upperhand. Too many of us moving in one go will bring unprecedented waves we're not ready to deal with. See 2, 3, and 4.

Ignorance is not bliss. Completely cutting off from xys including knowledge of their evil will make you unprepared should a threat strike. Not understanding moids nature is how some women think things are as easy as getting up and walking away without considering security & other factors then get suprised when moids strike. I'm not saying drown in true crime & xy evil but dont stray too far you lose touch of reality. Side note this is why women are gaslit about moids nature so that they dont have the chance to effectively prepare. Stay informed. I constantly learn from the women around me. Pay attention to xy motives & tactics. The power they hold, possible moves they may play etc. You wont be able to know/guess everything but stay in the loop nonetheless.

You will make mistakes be prepared to learn

It gets easier to control your attraction to moids overtime (if you're osa) as your focus is elsewhere as you realise there is a more fulfilling world out there beyond marriage & kids. Also life is just so much better. I know most women want the fairytale prince charming or an angel nigel but it's just not happening. Especially in a world like this. The freedom to be able to exist as a person & not a slave/punching bag for a rape ape is BLISS. You get so comfortable with it you wont wanna be with moids anyway especially when you see what other women go through. (Side note this is why women are pushed to being with moids as early as possible so this level of enlightenment is never reached & instead all women know + become accustomed to is suffering at the hands of moids).

As time passes and you mature into this lifestyle you can tell who's new and who's got skin in the game. I wont elaborate here as it'll digress and this note is long as is but those who know; know.

There's so much work to be done it'll last a lifetime. This lifestyle ain't easy. It strays from the norm so the typical guardrails that come with traditional options are out of the picture. The good news is that you can spend time crafting your own blueprint to follow or share with others who are willing. There's such little in terms of infrastructure & resources for single childfree women and yeah xys will likely try to destroy these things but at the same time if it can be done go for it and bear xy threat in mind we gotta start somewhere.

A purpose/guide is important. It's something that's going to guide your life through the ups and downs because it wont be a smooth ride but it'll be something that can make you in situations that break you. This isn't a "fuck you" to moids directly, it's about ourselves. Seeing this lifestyle as some type of "gotcha" against moids will only make things harder and lowkey misses the point of decentering them. I have my reasons for never getting married or having children that are solid (if you need inspiration checkout r/breakingmom on reddit). True comes from seeing something as bigger than yourself; find a purpose in this line of life to keep you going.

Invest in yourself. Personally, financially, etc. Pretty obvious but especially now that you're going to be more alone you need to be able to count on yourself more. With enough investment it can help other women too.

Invest in female network. No gyn is an island. Even though I'm not much of a social person the friends I have make my life better; they've been supportive but also honest. Also support female centric spaces online & offline; they're all that we have lest we be banished to the silo prison of the "nuclear family" or exploitative misogynistic communities.

Get comfortable disassociating/cutting people off. If you want to survive some things/people will simply just have to go.

You arent owed anything from other women, but you dont owe them anything either. The operating word here is owed, I aint saying women shouldn't help each other - I'm saying dont feel entitled. The feminist "girls support girls" schtick is bullshit. We're in a cold world full of ruthless oppression where everyone is just trying to survive however they can; in many cases it helps women survive when they turn on other women instead of on moids. Solidarity works because those who have solidarity politically speaking are people with power, it works in their interest to stand & work together as to keep + maintain their privileges in society so there wont be much female solidarity as in many cases it's not worth it to women long run. It aint right but that's how they perceive it so watch your back.

Everything is political. Always remember this. Many (privileged) people try to downplay politics & its effect but it runs our world which is why they want you blind to it. Pay attention.

There's merit to being around like-minded women even if it's just online. Like I said before it gets lonely. Very few women are willing to face & accept the truth about maIes. Being around like-minded women can be depressing sometimes as they drop blackpills bitter than you can initially handle but at least you dont feel so isolated/crazy.

[yohanpalia]

so here's a longer take than me just being sarcastic in replies to ppl who dont actually explain any of their argument despite them feeling bothered enough by my post to reply.

the summarised topic of my long post they replied to is: there isnt currently good representation of fat or chubby body types anywhere in palia - the only really big round fat man is pretty much a bad guy and obsessed with food, which isnt very pleasant representation. there are no romanceable characters who arent very skinny or fit (theres 9 romanceable charas). palia is bad at fatness, and so is almost every other game, and this is constructive criticism about that. (read the long post itself for more background, info and clarity!)

palia being in open beta has nothing to do with its character design re: fatness. it doesnt take more effort to design and add a fat npc than to design a skinny or muscular npc, so there's no reason to "put off" adding more fat characters until later development stages - not when they clearly designed all charas individually already until now (they don't have the same body types as each other, same face shapes as each other, same animations, etc - they're all unique already).

the fact that the charas are already wildly different from each other is the exact reason i wrote my long post. bc it wouldve been just as easy as anything else to add in an attractive fat or chubby character who is romanceable! and they actively chose not to (the 9 romanceable charas are between very skinny to fit). or to add in fat or chubby npcs that arent stereotypical (someones mom, a bad person, obsessed with food, selfish/greedy, etc).

so it being in open beta is not a rational argument for this specific game, since it already has a diverse cast with diverse designs.

how about "palia is a videogame"?

besides the obvious point that it being a game doesnt make it any different than other media in regards to harmful stereotypes and harmful social structures etc, you can see that the palia devs already took care to create somewhat diverse characters.

they cared to create charas that have different facial traits, different body types, different hair types, etc. they actively chose to create a diverse cast - but didnt include chubby and fat people in that cast in any other roles than "not meant to be attractive".

this is the problem and this is why i talk about it. there need to be romanceable fat/chubby characters, even just *one* would be better than nothing among than the current 9 (!!!) romanceable charas that are all skinny or fit. ideally we should see bigger variety than just "9 skinny/fit ones and one fat", though.

the non-romanceable npcs should also feature chubby and fat characters that dont fall into basic "its someones mom" stereotypes or harmful stereotypes (food obsessed, lazy) etc etc. there should be a charming and attractive fat character who isnt shady or bad or selfish, an intelligent and friendly one, or an angsty creative one, i dont care! the point is they need to be interesting people and potentially attractive the same way the skinny and fit characters are created. and they shouldnt just be "someone's parent" for fucks sake.

palia failing at fatness rn, doesnt mean that the devs wont add more fat or chubby characters in the future. they might. we dont know that. they might not. thats why its necessary to voice and discuss topics like this so that people are aware to the issue and can constructively criticise it.

[csvent-2]

(terraliens / species gen)

(also sorry for the long post, i have a lot of thoughts with this)

is it just me or are closed species specifically made to be inaccessible to newcomers? Terraliens is my first closed species, ive been in it for 2 weeks (when the species was only 2 weeks old) and while there have been a huge ton of adopt opportunities but theyre all:

a.) Raffles, which is a problem because in such a big server your chances are so close to 0 you might as well not play at all, preclaim raffles included

b.) Auctions, which easily spike to $200-$300+. if you dont wanna drop a band on the artist's new NFT youre out of luck, and if you ever say anything about it you get dogpiled because "artists deserve to get paid for their work." im not saying artists shouldnt get paid, but i dont think its justifiable to constantly have these insanely high price points when you advertise your closed species as newcomer friendly and say that if people dont want to spend any money, they dont have to, that MYOs are totally free (except theyre raffles and you have better luck of getting struck by lightning than actually getting one) its unfair and tbh kinda shitty to say "if you arent willing to pay artists for their work then you dont deserve art" when with a lot of people thats not the case, they want to participate but physically do not have the budget for a $500-$700 adopt

c.) OTAs, which are so unobtainable its not even funny. How can it be fair for newcomers when people are allowed to offer fursuit commissions under OTAs? not to mention that if someone is totally new to closed species they probably wont have any other cs characters to offer, which is what most people usually want. oh great, another closed species to join, try to actively participate in, and get ignored in all so you can have an inkling of a chance at getting a character you actually want I think there should be some OTAs that have restrictions to what type of art is allowed, like maybe a fullbody w/ background only OTA or an icon only OTA so everyone can actually have a shot. though to be honest, i don't think OTAs will ever be fair in big servers. theres too far of skill gaps and people with actual businesses will always win (not throwing shade, just stating the truth) ive seen people suggest a level system which i think could work a lot better, you could survey users on things like how new they are to cs, what they self evaluate their art skill to be, and how much money they wanna spend and then divide members up that way, give them roles based on their level, and have level-specific adopts and such so everyone could get a chance. though i can see this getting abused to give all the level 1s the shitty adopts nobody wants

my point is, lots of people in the terraliens server act like its this super FTO and newcomer-friendly place, but from what ive seen thats really not the case. granted, its the only closed species im in so it might be this cs heaven compared to others, but this is just my personal observations

genuinely want other people's input on this, its something that bothers me a lot

A lot of species are very inaccessible unfortunately. It’s why they become popular. Because if you have one, it becomes a status symbol.

[echoesofadream]

Hi hi! I just wanted to expand more on the post you reblogged from me ☺️ honestly there really isn’t a problem with boycotting it—I don’t have a problem anyway bc I understand that the conditions are horrible and all. My problem comes from the fact that people are only calling jungkook out and not the other artists that perform. There are other big names performing at fifa but everyone is only focusing and calling jungkook out. Imo performing at fifa or at a soccer/football game isn’t the same as condoning the actions of a country’s government. If that were the case then bts wouldn’t be able to perform at any country, especially in the US or Europe since they have done so many atrocious acts as well. For me, the hypocrisy truly bothers me and that’s the entire problem with it. Because a lot of western fans only care about calling out the non western countries and forget about the atrocities of their own/don’t boycott those either. They only care when it comes to minority countries, which we should still call them out on ofc, but the hypocrisy is truly what’s disheartening. Also, they’re not calling out any of the football players that are already there or the other performers, just jungkook. I understand wanting to boycott it and all, really, but personally I’m mad at the hypocrisy that some fans show and not the actual boycott itself.

Sorry for this long winded paragraph! I just wanted to explain my own viewpoint! I understand if you feel differently ofc! Just wanted to expand on some points more 🥰💜

Hey sorry i missed this. Thanks for responding to me i appreciate you taking the time to type this out

To be honest i havent seen any real criticism towards jungkook and honestly i have missed that kind of very valid criticism from army who in my eyes just uncritically praise anything the boys do. And then there are the antis who ofc use every chance they have to smudge the names of members who arent their favs especially popular ones like jk. I think its natural if army are disappointed in jk in particular rather than the other celebrities performing. Now if people who arent even fans of jk or the boys only criticize jungkook then thats obviously very weird and suspicious of being anti asian racism (idk what other big names are performing).

My point wasnt that performing in a country means condoning the actions of that countries government, even though i honestly dont see the problem with critisizing that either if you have valid arguments for it. Real world issues are more important than kpop.

That said, this is not that kind of situation. People have DIED when working for this particular sports event and someone in the notes of that post were talking about ”selective activism when it comes to jungkook” hello??? Even if that would be true it doesnt take away from the cause of boycotting this. If that is your reaction then you should think outside of fandom dynamics for once. Even if people are using this against jungkook that is SUCH a non issue in the context of this. I understand and appreciate being protective of my favorite kpop boy but this is just a very disrespectful and flippant response.

And I hear you, you are more mad about the hypocrisy, not the boycott. I agree and I think it is completely valid to critizice and boycott anyone who is involved with this, whether its the football players, other artists, etc etc i know nothing about football. If not boycotting means directly supporting what is essentially modern day slavery.

And yes, you can always take it one step further. While this is directly supporting it you could take stands against indirectly supporting atrocity committed by different governments etc. But i dont believe in using a variant of ”there is no ethical consumption under capitalism” (or in this case rather imperialism) argument when it comes to a migrant workers dying so that some people can kick balls into nets and artists sing and the crowds just cheer. I think that is pretty straight forward and not some ethical dilemma.

[no-worshiped-roads]

Alright next part of mutant au

Zuke has finally arrived to eve’s district and boy does the conversation go south fast

Eve is just... so angry

She makes it clear she thinks zuke abandoned her and zuke has no idea what shes talking about

Most of this fight is dodging and talking/arguing

Thing is zuke and eve had been running away ftom horrible humans that kept them prisoner, at one point they wind up seperated

While running zuke fell down a cliff and the humans presumed him dead, he survived obviously but eve was recaptured while he was out

Some mutants from vinyl city found him and brought him back to be healed

By the time he woke again 3 days had passed and he had no idea where he was

He also found the humans were long gone with nadia from his rescuers

It took another week to heal and he’s got back problems from it

At some point, about 2 weeks later tatiana rescues nadia from the humans

She had been outside of the city making sure they were far away cause they had been close to discovering them when she found them with nadia

After rescuing her and taking her back to the city she gave her time to heal

It took nadia a long time to trust anyone again because to her, it seemed zuke abandoned her and saved himself

Especially when years passed before they had contact again (nadia learned he was in the city but zuke didnt know till after mays kidnapping given that she went by eve)

Zuke actually has to start fighting back which doesnt help especially with a particularly hard blow is landed on her head

It isnt till after eve retreats into her own dimension that theyre able to talk things out, somewhat. Eve at least understands he didn’t abandon her but she seemed really disoriented

Zuke asked her where may was and she seemed to be even more confused when he heard may shout

He left her dimension in a hurry to try and find may, since she was defeated, her other dimensions should have disappeared and dumped their contents back into reality

Unfortunately by the time he gets to where he heard may theres nothing. Just some scorch marks leading out the door

Kliff calls and tells him he needs to go and face the head of nsr, tatiana, in order to get may back and stop all of this

It later occurs to zuke as hes heading to face tatiana that kliff called him and knew what happened

Without zuke telling him

Tatiana

During the talk with eve tatiana had shown up. It didnt take her long to track down where may was held. After a bit of a scuffle, cause may did not go down without a fight, she was able to winnand knock may unconcious.

Thing is while may is strong she has poor control. And tatiana is stronger. I mean fire and time powers so. Yeah.

May wakes up in a chair at nsr tower on the upper floor. Before her with their back turned is tatiana.

“Awake i see.”

May finds she cant move desite not being tied down or anything.

“Dont bother. I used my time abilities to freeze your body in place. You will wait here for our meeting.”

“M-meeting?” May cant help but to feel nervous.

“You dont think i run this on my own do you? I have an individual at my side that needs to meet our newest members of nsr. And help to prepare them.”

“Im not gonna to join nsr! Zuke will bust me out of here and-“

“I plan on him coming. He’s a perfect addition as well. Since you two seem to make a good team, i’ll likely put him in your district.”

“Why are you doing this?”

“To protect others.”

“No? Why are forcing them into this, taking them away if they dont want to? Why-“

“Enough. Your friend has arrived.”

Zuke manages to get up to the tower, finding that these fights are a lot harder without may. He sees may in the chair and goes to rescue her only to be stopped by tatiana. The two fight eachother, with zuke barely being able to avoid losing. Zuke gets knocked down but before tatiana can freeze him too may attacks from behind.

Zuke managed to fight her long enough that she was letting her power on may slip till may could move again. The two fight her side by side till they win. With a very disoriented tatiana on tge fround they realized that all the artists seemed confused and lost after their defeat. As they wonder that out loud, a voice interrupts them.

Kliff

Kliff shows up at the end of the fight congratulating them for helping form a new nsr. And joining it as their newest members.

Theyre understandbly confused when this happens, but dumbfounded when kliff reveals who they really are

Theyre the real head as nsr as they revealed, and kliff has been controlling everyone by force

kliff is a psychic genius, but his powers arent strong enough to control so many prople, much less ones as strong as the nsr artists

So he made chips that went in heads to amplify their powers, mainly his mind control powers, and when he hot a hold of sayus team he was able to make them upgrade the chips, but had no need to use em yet

However the chips had been wearing off, and he no way to get the update into them cause they had weakened do much he was shut out unless the artists were severly weakened

Kliff tricked b2j into fighting nsr to weaken them so the chips could be reprogrammed to be stronger, while simultaneously getting the two out of hiding so they can be controlled as well

Zuke is still confused but mayday stiffens remembering the injury she woke up to in eve’s realm

“Seems one off you figured it out”

“Wh-may?”

Mayday

He activate the chips and while its a bit useless on tatiana given how weak she is, it works well on mayday

Zuke is frozen st first seeing mayday gets into a fighting stance at him and is blown off his feet when she attacks

Zuke mainly dodges and tries to talk to her as she attacks mercilessly

Zuke is reluctant having to fight her but when nothing he says snaps her out of it, he realizes he has no choice

The fight isnt easy as mays powers out match his easy in power

However he has one advantage over her

Control

May is strong, but has poor control over her powers

So he uses that against her to make her powers backfire on her till he manages to win

She collapses to the ground and doesnt move and this freaks zuke out till he finds her pulse

Kliff part 2

Now zuke is beyond pissed, with may out cold by his feet

“What the hell is wrong with you?!”

Kliff (k): see you will be a perfect canidate. Tatiana was right, you two make a good team.

“Why are you even doing this?!”

K: “why? WHY?! HUMANS! THAT’S WHY!”

K: humans are vile disgusting creatures that hunt torture and kill us for sport or entertainment or some bullshit holier than thou attitude, pretending they were some kind of savior for humanity!

K: I am going to build up the strongest mutants and unify them, to protect the weaker who cant fight back. And any human that dares to stumble across here? The artists will KILL them.

“Wtf kind of logic is that?! Youve taken away their will and are trying to make them into killing machines!”

K: hah. It doesnt matter if you understand, you just need to obey.

“You know for someone who hates humans so much, you sure sound like some ive met before.”

This pisses kliff off and the fight starts though its not much of one

Like i said kliff is a weak pyschic relies on controlling stronger mutants in order to get what he wants

So he’s easily beaten

So Kliff activates something on the satellite, it was meant to send out a beam over the city to control everyone all at once

But it wasnt ready and kliff causes it to short circuit and fall

Zuke panics cause hes the only one at ready to stop it but then tatiana and may start coming around, cause when the satellite went out of commission so did the signal that Kliff was using to amplify his powers and control over them

It mostly happens like it does with thr original game in stopping the satellite including kliff getting smacked, but with more confusion because Tatiana doesn’t really know who they are since she’s been under control for so long

They stop the satelite and kliff keeps trying to fix it so he can regain control before eventually slinking off

The end kind of has them all talking and figuring out what’s happened and where to go from there

They keep nsr around but allow others being controlled to go free once their chips are removed and actually make it a place of protection, rather than the oppresive fear it had been before

And there is a lot of aftermath stories if you all have questions about them

[vampireqrow-moved]

hey so I agree with a lot of the stuff in your post about the transphobia involved in the origin of the pansexual label, but I just have one question: what are the actual impacts of people with good intentions calling themselves pan? If you don't hate pansexuals and consider them bi, why type up a paragraphs long manifesto on the harms of the origin of the label if it means the same thing in the way that most non transphobic people (your audience) use it? a lot of identities can be used in transphobic ways (like bi and lesbian and anything really) and plenty of valid identities from problematic roots and evolve over time as people use them differently (queer, transsexual). so how is a person with good intentions using a not-perfect label in a way you don't like a threat to the community? if someone is using the label pan transphobically, wouldn't their bigotry exist independently? if pan people do not act in transphobic ways besides using the label pansexual, realistically what is changing if they call themselves bi beyond holier-than-thou aesthetic activism? plus, a blog on the internet isn't going to get everyone to stop identifying as pansexual, especially considering multiple prominent celebrities ID as pan. so why spend all that energy quibbling on semantics because some bi people use a slightly different word when you could be worrying about Literally anything else? just feels like you want to find something to argue about lol. extremely disappointed that I had to break a mutual

im going to respond to each thing you bring up chronologically- im not trying to nitpick or prioritize certain things you say ill just forget things if i go out of order and i dont want to miss something important. ALSO! i will be typing less formally (like keysmashes and shortening words n stuff) in this response than my og post bc its 1am as im starting to type this so im tired but i want to be clear that i am like. taking this seriously and im not like. mocking u in anyway if it could read that way?? i hope not but just in case anyways here it goes!

in terms of actual impact people with good intentions identifying as pan: honestly im not  sure the full scope of the impact this has, so ill only be speaking to what ive personally seen which might not be all. but like... id argue my younger self has good intentionals iding as pan. i wanted to support trans people, even if i didnt understand a lot of the nuance involved. as a result of this, i developed a sense of superiority over other bisexuals and a mentality that bisexuality was a primitive and lesser sexuality. that mentality is harmful, and although im not sure if it affected bisexuals around me (of which there are many most of my friends are bi ajfjfjf) its still a harmful mentality and can easily hurt people even if i specifically didnt. also using it even with good intentions, which i know many people have, still spreads and further normalizes a label that imo can not be separated from its transphobic origins. this effect is not as extreme as other forms of transphobia and biphobia by A LONG SHOT. the bi community faces a lot of other issues but that doesnt mean this one isnt worth addressing if that makes sense?

if i dont hate pansexuals: ik this is part of a larger point which i will adress but i specified this in my post bc i see a lot of other posts that are negative towards pansexuality have "i hate pan ppl" somewhere in it or a close equivalent. i do not shame these ppl for their anger, i just wanted to be clear i think a lot of pan ppl are bi ppl with good intentions choosing a label they dont fully understand based on a misunderstanding of bisexuality.

why write a paragraphs long manifesto on the harms of pansexuals origin: ok 😭😭 the real reason here is that im literally just bad at summarizing. like thats literally it. i also like talking, its a bad combination. plus ive been thinking abt this for like. over a year im not even kidding and just like i have a lot of thoughts and figured if i was going to bother making my own post instead of rbing someone elses that i might as well get everything i wanted to say off my chest. ALSO BTW i literally got an ask like a week ago that was several paragraphs long asking me to explain my thoughts on why pan was harmful and some other stuff so like. this is partially responding to that and partially just me wanting to air my grievances ? idk if thats the right expression 😔😔

why write the post if my audience of people who identify as pan arent doing it in a transphobic way ? again sorry i didnt really understand the phrasing so i hope this is a vaguely correct summary!! um but like... again imo i think pan cant be separated from its transphobia and like. again imo iding as pan is like. a transphobic action/choice? obviously one transphobic thing does mean someone necessarily is like officially a Transphobe (it CAN be depending on the action but i dont think that applies here) but that doesnt mean there arent problems with what they did. this is like very complicated, but like. someone doing something harmful without the knowlege that its harmful doesnt make that person a bigot by any means it just means they didnt know. and i feel thats the case here? a lot of ppl (myself included until recently) know next to nothing abt pansexualitys origins so a trans inclusve sexuality might seem like a safe and good bet just because they dont know too much abt it, and like? i cant hate those people cause that was me for 5+ years and djgjfjdj you just dont know what you dont know!

basically i think iding with a transphobic label is inherently a singular transphobic action that doesnt make the person transphobic by itself, but is still a transphobic instance.

a lot of identities can be used in transphobic ways like bi, lesbian, etc.: this is true and a point i attempted to make on my original post, but i might not have clear enough. my issue with pan is specifically that it is a transphobic response to a preexisting identity. lesbian isnt an attempted trans inclusive indentity that replaced an identity that already existed (which have many trans ppl identifying with the og label). transphobes can use whatever labels they want, but transphobes using a label vs a label having a transphobic origin is very different. bigots use inclusive and supporting language for their bigotry all the time but language that originated with that bigotry is worse.

many valid identities stem from problemstic origins (like transsexual and queer) but the words evolve: ok my paraphrasing is a little weird there. anyways. the thing here is that. those are slurs. reclaimed slurs that can be empowering to many people, yes, but slurs nonetheless. reclaiming a slur is taking a harmful word and wearing it as a badge of pride. first off, pansexual is not a slur (ur not implying that in anyway just. saying) and it isnt being reclaimed when people dont treat it as having harmful origins. transsexual is the way some people identify but ppl acknowlege its a slur and originates from transphobia. ppl love to act like queer isnt a slur, which is an issue in and of itself, but just. factually it has historically and is currently being used against ppl with the intent to hurt them. pansexual isnt on the same level as these and other words like the f slur, d slur, etc. pansexual originates from trans and biphobia WITHIN the community and not outside of it, and most pansexuals dont see themselves as reclaiming the title because they dont think anythings wrong with it in the first place. and reclaiming it just seems unnecessary considering its history? theres no empowerment from using pan as a label as opposed to queer or transsexual, and it just divides the bisexual community for no reason.

how is a person using a not-perfect label a threat to the community? ok i dont think its a threat but still an issue if that difference makes sense? id like to reiterate a few things ive said before, but for me personally, it made me look down on bisexuals and see them as lesser, and it made people around me see pan as the "trans inclusive" sexuality as opposed to bisexuality, and basically its usage just leads to further biphobia. is this the worst of biphobia? no!!! but its still biphobia and why not attempt to target and minimize that? i have no way to singlehandedly stop biphobia, but my post might get through to my friends who id as pan and that small thing is better than nothing.

if someone used the pan label in a transphobic way, wouldnt that bigotry be different from people using it not transphobically?: someone claiming all bi ppl are transphobic and only pan is the acceptable label is obviously a lot worse than someone iding as pan and saying bi/pan solidarity but again, the second isnt not an issue because the first one is a bigger issue, its just a smaller issue in comparison. i wouldnt say the bigotry is different, one is just worse than the other, but it still has the same problems.

if pan people dont do anything transphobic other than id as pan then what changes with iding as bi over pan other holier-than-thou activism: its just one less person using a transphobic label? which isnt that big but it might lead to their friends stopping iding as pan and cause fewer people around them to see bi as a transphobic identity. which is small scale stuff, i wont try to blow it out of proportion, but thats still a step in the right direction and hopefully more people follow with it. its not terribly huge or lifechanging but something small that may only affect the people close to you is still something rather than nothing.

a blog the internet isnt going to get people to stop iding as pan: oh absolutely not. honestly i expected to get unfollowed/blocked more than change peoples minds regarding the pan label (im surprised i only lost two followers so far honestly) but again, someone literally asked me to do this and i wanted to be clear on my stance on the label, since in the past ive been supportive of it. im not expecting the post to get more than five likes, its more directed to my followers rather than the internet as a whole. im not expecting a large impact, im hoping to change the minds of my followers and friends who id as and support the pan label. thats it. if something bigger comes from it- great! but thats not what im aiming to do.

prev point + many prominent celebrities id as pan: the first name that comes to mind is someone im not a fan of for separate reasons but thats irrelevant. i mean im repeating myself a bit but some celebrities in the past validated and made me feel excited abt my identity as a pan person when they came out, and it justified the label to me, even when i had doubts. i have never interacted with a celebrity and do not plan to change their minds abt their identity. again, my post was for my friends and followers and maybe who ever was scrolling through the biphobia tag and decided to read my post.

why spend that much energy worrying abt the pan label instead of something else: ive spent waaaaay more energy thinking abt a singular meme i didnt like regarding my favourite rwby character so like. maybe i just overreact to things lol. maybe i have a lot of energy and since i cant talk my friends ears off abt my favourite fruits or the different voting methods i learned in my math class or what would dreams taste like, then i gotta put my energy into something. idk. i have a lot of energy and honestly? this didnt take that much. but i felt it weighing on me as my friends talked positively abt the pan label, when i felt guilty for the superiority i felt over my bi friends INCLUDING my best friend and favourite person in the world so like. i spent enough energy worrying abt it, and like. in hindsight since its been over 12 hours since posting it, im thinking abt it less. i was more worried abt feeling dishonest with my friends than actually worrying abt pansexuality, but i figured i owed them an explanation for why my feelings around it had changed.

just feels like you want to find something to argue about: okay i DO love arguing but im not pulling this out of my ass for fun. its in response to posts ive seen on my dash, asks i recieved abt pansexuality, and my way of letting people know my views have changed and why since i know at least some people are curious.

i am sorry to lose a mutual as well, and i genuinely hope things go well for you, but uh yeah thats that.

again, if people have further questions im willing to answer them i just might take a while bc i have school and other stuff 2 do but uhhh yea sorry if im clogging ur dash sjfjfkkf

[tempesttz]

yea i do agree that if ur hanging w people that are like inherently posting malicious hate of any kind that's fucked i mentioned it, i was mostly getting at like "there are exceptions to this that can't be ignored and one can go about that kind of thing in a healthy way" something something i'm sick as fuck rn mind my awful phrasing all the time ever.

i do agree that i do see the "many endos are just stupid babies" strawman pretty often and that i probably made a huge generalization, but most of the antis i see, have spoken to, and have otherwise less consensually interacted with describe endogenic systems as "people who claim to have a cdd without trauma." most of the time they don't recognize that a "system" isn't did-exclusive. i will say the "they're all children" argument is definitely a little stupid, but i disagree all of them are adults. almost every one i have ever met has been within the ages of 13-17. many have been 14. we might be in different groups, but they do exist. i will say there is a sense of maturity that you gain as you grow and that younger individuals are definitely more prone to making Dumb Decisions. one of my dumb decisions was spending three years in the anti endo community, hence my beliefs on it myself. i was mostly getting at the fact that due to the fact they are so young, they still have a lot of time to look back on that behavior and realize just how bad it was. they're growing and maturing and while hate shouldn't be excused at any age we should be giving them a little bit more leeway simply due to the fact they're still developing. hell, even i'm still developing. and yeah i catch myself in fallacies way too often T_T

and yea i will agree they have a lot of the same like, base ideology as homophobes in the way that they do with sysmeds. it's the same rhetoric copy-pasted p much. i do agree that they are a hate group and say some Fucked Up Shit, hell i mentioned it myself in my really long addendum about "petty schoolyard topics is one thing but these people send death threats and actively wish harm on people" etc etc yadda yadda. the difference is they're all bark and no bite, is what i'm getting at. nazis and homophobes kill people. a lot of people. harassment is fucked up yes very much so i am not saying it isn't, i am saying that they are incomparable due to the sheer difference in history and treatment. you can be homophobic without being directly violent about it but the thing is homophobia, racism, and other -isms have years of continuous violence and public outcast associated with those things. being told to commit sudoku pales in comparison to that. it's a lesser evils situation. my point is basically that we shouldn't boil down those things to "harassment on the internet" not because harassment isnt bad but because it devalues the history of harm that people have gone thru, the fighting that has happened for the mere petty rights that many marginalized communities still don't even have in a lot of places. people will be killed for being gay today. people will be killed for being "the wrong race" today. no one will be killed for being endogenic.

n yea on the last paragraph i agree that performative activism shit sucks. i was mostly again getting at the fact that if it's in good faith and they genuinely just want to engage with both sides for the sake of like. good faith reasons those people are doing some form of a good thing when they arent directly excusing all the hate n shit. shutting the doors on all antis and letting them all stew in little hate corners is one of the reasons that the misinfo and the hate is so bad. i dont think a lot of them recognize the fact real people are behind the screens anymore and that's fucking concerning yk? but yea again i agree people who just do it because they cant be bothered to have two seconds of backbone and/or are literally reskinned antis are still definitely a problem.

their community is built on misinformation and hate, just like any other hate group but that doesn't mean we can ignore the fact that many other groups have a very distinct history of violence, mistreatment, ostracization, and genuine and frequent hatecrimes against them and to compare the two is a little reductive imo.

i hope you get good sleep :] !! i also need to pass out soon tbh i do not feel well lmao

"im pro-endo but i dont mind anti-endos interacting" would you allow a homophobe to interact with you? a transphobe? a racist? an ableist? a nazi? why is it suddenly different and "not as bad" when the discrimination, harassment, and death threats dont affect you specifically? why is it suddenly a "nuanced situation" when you arent the victim? are you really "pro-endo" if you refuse to even do the bare minimum to stand up for them instead of being best friends with people who want them to not exist?

[bma-2020]

Okiedok here’s the delio. I have a list of all the blogs from the last six months who’s actively either responded to a meme i sent, responded to a message ive sent, replied to something regarding mally herself, has actually written with me, written a starter for me from my liking a starter call, has at least liked a starter i wrote for them to awknowedge it exists, all that jazz, i have a lot of open field so it’s not just a possible tumblr didnt let them no option anymore, because i send memes to everyone who posts them that i see. I reply to most peoples ooc posts. I like most starter calls I pass by. I try my darndest to actually interact bc i know how it feels to be ignored and its… i’ve been called one before so i’m using the word, thats fluffing cunty behavior, and honestly if you complain about not being interacted with but never even try when i try with you, ya being cunty, end of. I gotta list. That list only entails Mally because she’s who I care about the most. I’m probably gonna start instilling a new rule in all my blogs that if you ignore Mally and/or Darcy( @tasedandconfused ), since I would say they’re my two main blogs tho darcy gets ignored even more than mally does, probably bc i denied canon and left it entirely we know fandom hates that, if either of them is ignored then… Ya out of luck, I’m gonna unfollow you. I’m debating soft blocking everyone who ignored me on both of them but I don’t want to like be mean and deny the chance to eventually try again but at the same time i shouldnt feel bad for taking a stand and saying this is bullsheet, idk my anxiety says im awful for giving a fluff about myself but also i should give a fluff about myself probably, ive nearly died in the last three months, my brain almost exploded, i just had three root canals on one corner of my face, i have to potentially get surgery on my inner ear which i cant even afford, i dont got time to deal with only being used for like smut memes or like as a resource blog or utter bs like that, i dont got time for it. So new rules here. 1: If Mally or Darcy are not acknowledged, written with, responded to, viewed as more than just their fluffing bodies? ya dropped, im unfollowing, potentially soft blocking, which means blocking and unblocking for those not in the know, on all accounts I follow you on. Every single one. I know most of my muses are on sideblogs but despite not being able to send memes from sideblogs you can block people from sideblogs fun fact, i will do that if i have to. 2: I’m gonna be posting SCs, PCs, memes, etc. I like and respond to plotting calls, starter calls, i send memes, all of that. If I don’t get any response within.. I’m giving one week for people who don’t run on a queue and a month and a half to people on a queue based system, if i dont get anything within that time like at least an im being like ‘its posted’ or ‘its queued i wanted to let you know in case tumblrs a fluffbutt’ (i do this sometimes if i dont get even just a like on the starters i post so i at least know people saw it since i know tumblrs bs, i wait until the day they’re active to do so in case theyre busy yknow) basically i need acknowledgment at all. No you can’t claim this is abt follower count bc when you unfollow someone they inevitably unfollow you too, thats gonna drop my following, not as quickly as soft blocking would but i wanna be fair i guess, which leads to: 3: I’m basing this on your activity too, like if i like a think and you’re gone for a month after that its fine, im not gonna unfollow you unless you never come back or youre online and posting others just not mine because that tells me youre specifically ignoring me and im gonna drop you for that end of. I’m done with the bullsheet im done w the dillish behavior, i love friendship but if im giving and never receiving thats extremely one way and not gonna work. I check through my follow list weekly and i go back about five-10 pages on someones feed before i unfollow them to see their actual activity and see if theyre here or if its a q so. I’m thorough basically. 4: You dont have to be active with me on all your blogs, i mean i’d prefer it but thats hard as fluff so essentially if you have like five blogs and are just like trying w me on two or three thats fine. Ten blogs, four or five with at least a plot formed is cool. Multis just one muse is all I’d need. I’m not gonna unfollow the blogs youre not writing w me on if you at least write w me on some. Again, specifically Mally and/or Darcy. If you ignore both of them, we’re done. I havent been active on darcy because of being ignored and its a huge butt mess and im just tired i wanna use my babies, you don’t get to have my ‘better’ muses like i know a lot of ppl only follow me for my boys or my villains, you don’t get them if you ignore my baby. But, there is a limit there too. 5: If you never respond to a meme or thread even once with Mally or Darcy, or post a starter, i reply, its never replied to again after a month, I’m unfollowing and/or soft blocking for that too. Bc that means youre just raising my hopes to fluff with me or get someone else and honestly, youre even more cunty than than the people just flat out ignoring me if you do that. And this isnt a specific person, this is five of the people actually on my list. Yes, my list is also annotated with specifics again I was very thorough on this yesterday, I hyperfixated I’ll admit it, I’m in a fluffing depressionary bubble and being told to get over it because people want something they dont deserve to have to. I am a believer that people deserve good things but if youre purposefully being cunty… no you dont. 6: No I’m not releasing my list, maybe I will and I’ll omit the urls because I don’t want people being buttholes to each other too but otherwise, yall not seeing it im not giving a callout because… really thats just unnecessary here. I don’t think yall are toxic people or something i just think yall are unintentionally being cunty. And no I don’t mean everyone that follows me i mean the ppl that add up to what i’ve documented so far and fit the bill of butthat that i’ve shown, its behaviors yall gotta check before ya wreck. Yes there will be some people who have priority, everyone has those people, I write w kathryn on other platforms since she doesnt go on here as often but when Kathryn returns from war here (if she does cause she also agrees most ppl on this platform are cunty, i feel really bad saying that word so often but im gonna keep doing it i recently deleted an ask saying I was a huge cunt for not sending someone smut memes when I didn’t even follow them or know they existed so, again the travesty of this place is nutballers) same with owly, alex is here too, my most active partners are always going to be priority because theyre the ones who show the most interest and the most care. I understand that with others as well which is why I have the timeframe set up, because I want to be as open and shizz as possible while atill being firm i guess. I don’t want to have extreme double standards like its impossible for double standards not to exist at least a little bit but I want to avoid a golden chest full of them I guess. 7: I don’t have a seven rn, this was an even number and it bothered me. Seven is nust my warning that I’m bittery writing this on mobile so formatting is not real but i tried my dandest to make this look like something people might actually mind. I dont want to be butty, i dont want to be awful, i dont want to start drama or have drama but that shizz comes around anyways so i might as well make my space as okay for me as i can cause im supposed to avoid stress so my brain doesnt almost explode again, like again i almost fluffing died i dont need ppl fake being my friend or anything, i want stuff to be real and clear. I want to be happy to be on here again and have fun like i used to since my health is plummetting and I’m not allowed to go outside near plants by myself anymore because i welt up. I have plants outside my work place and im surrounded by chemicals all day long I’m welted from here to new york constantly and never comfortable in my own skin because of it and constantly see people online acting like these actual real problems are pretentious because ‘its an excuse’ when, im a fluffing sagittarius, do you know how much i want to magically be a millionaire so i can pay for friends and my own medical stuff and go on traveling and adventures, be outside probably not camping bc as a pagan i know thats a death sentence but like be outside, lay on grass, go back to swimming because i used to swim competitively and due to health reasons i can barely even go in a pool anymore because theres too much sunlight which, bit plot twist i know, im fluffing allergic to vitamin D and the rays of the sun, so go figure, attempts to be healthy kill me more, i also cant eat most plants and am constantly dying from just eating food, they dont know whats wrong with me. i cant fix it by going ve/gan for a month inf act i tried and it almost made my heart stop thanks society. These arent excuses these are the lives of disabled and diseased and to a lesser but still very real point, ethnic lives every fluffing day. This is real shit and its murder and online and gaming? It may be all I have soon since I can’t just go out and make new friends cause, again, I’d fluffing die. I get sick going to the mall or the movie theater, I miss theme parks so much but have to minimize it to weeks i dont have work so i dont get fired for having a welt while working in the beauty industry. I may have to get a degree online and change my field entirely because of my illness that nobody understands. People even make fun of it constantly online and I wish I could just drop online entirely because of how unbelievably ableist the entirety of the world is, i wish i could drop humans in general for their ableism, but i cant. I don’t have choices in most cases, but throwing away people who maybe purposefully maybe unintentionally thats why i’m giving you this warning and will be repeating this warning for awhile, this is where i have choice. I have to use what little choice I have in life while I can since everytime i go to movies or a concert or a theme park i almost die because of not having an immune system that functions or being in certain air qualities pr being near plants or unclean people, I may not have much time and I gotta do whats best for what little mental health I have, and if that means dropping people i care about and really want to write with and do things with but who ignore me then, i guess so be it.

[backtobasicbellas]

If you’re accepting, an AU of Zadison I would love to see: zadison in harry potter, where madison’s a slytherin and zoe’s the hufflepuff or gryffindor she knows she shouldn’t hit on out of rivalry but divination says they’re meant to be :D Your fics on AO3 about them were FANTASTIC, by the way! Thank you for those.

who’s to fight it? (it’s your future)

words: 3,017

(this truly got longer than i expected but…here it is! also check out madison and zoe’s hogwarts moodboards i made)

When Professor Day pairs her students up for her activity of the day, Madison is pleasantly surprised when she finds herself working with Gryffindor Zoe Benson.

Madison wasn’t really listening to any of Professor Day’s lecture, but she’s pretty sure it has something to do with killing a plant and then reviving it or something dumb like that. Either way, Zoe’s smart and was probably hanging onto their professor’s every instruction.

She adjusts her silver and green tie as Zoe approaches.

“Were you even listening at all?” Zoe lightly teases.

Madison rolls her eyes. “We’ll be fine.”

She and Zoe aren’t friends - Madison would really rather not call a Gryffindor a friend - but they’re friendly enough towards each other. Madison has a reputation of being a bitch, which she proudly encourages and lives up to, but Zoe has never once seemed afraid of her or judgemental of her.

Of course, Zoe isn’t excused from Madison’s jabs, but she always takes them in stride, either rolling her eyes or shrugging it off. Madison kind of admires that, really.

Actually, Madison’s always thought Zoe’s cute. She’s kind of hot too, like when she’s kind of pissed or when she wears that proud smirk when someone tries to correct her in class only for them to be incorrect and Zoe to be completely right and follow through with an execution of whatever spell they’re learning.

However, Madison would be caught dead before she ever hit on a Gryffindor. She’s a Slytherin for crying out loud; she can’t go around fraternizing with the likes of Zoe just because she’s cute and Madison’s bored.

(And yes, it might be because Madison is a little competitive and their two houses have a rivalry that runs deep.

So what?)

“Are you going to get us started or should I just do it all myself?”

Madison quirks an eyebrow at Zoe’s slight hint of sass, clearly impressed. Zoe only looks at her expectantly, so after a moment Madison lets out a scoff.

“Fine,” she says before she’s waving her hand over the plant and murmuring a few words in latin.

The plant wilts on command, looking very much dead, and Madison turns to Zoe with a smirk.

“See? Easy.”

Zoe simply rolls her eyes at Madison, now placing her hand over the plant and reciting a few different words in latin.

Madison can’t help but be slightly entranced; Zoe recites spells with such conviction and focus. She turns her head when Zoe finishes, watching as the plant comes back to life effortlessly, like it’s been meant to do that all along.

“Miss Montgomery, Miss Benson,” Professor Day says with a smile. “Excellent execution.”

Zoe beams. “Thank you, Professor.”

Madison snorts when Professor Day passes. “See? I told you.”

Zoe rolls her eyes and laughs, and Madison tries not to be so affected by the pure sound.

And Madison wants to add something else, something that she knows can get Zoe’s cheeks to match the red on her own tie, but she stops herself.

She can’t do that, not with Zoe.

//

Madison knows she’s a powerful witch.

She’s known it for as long as she can remember, both of her parents coming from a magical line of wizards and witches tracing all the way back as far as Madison’s concerned.

However, the one thing she doesn’t seem to be mastering any time soon is divination. She just kind of thinks it’s ridiculous, who even needs divination  that seriously anyway? Madison’s a firm believer of creating your own future - or whatever bullshit people spew out these days.

This particular frustration, however, comes to her in divination class because Madison sucks at every kind of divination. What’s even more annoying though is she sits next to Nan, a Ravenclaw who somehow knows things most people don’t, and she’s really fucking good at this.

“It’s not hard,” Nan shrugs when they study Tessomancy.

Madison’s gaze snaps up from her stupid tea leaves to glare at her classmate.

“We get it bitch, you’re some prophet or some shit,” she sneers.

Nan is unbothered by her jab though, and goes back to her tea leaves. Madison peers at her own just to see nothing more than soggy tea leaves that should probably be thrown out.

Madison is honestly ready to give up on the class - who cares if Professor Goode borderline fails her, really it’s just stupid divination - when they get around to crystal gazing.

“You want me to look at this dumb crystal ball and see my future?” Madison scoffs. “This class is so dumb.”

Professor Goode gives Madison a look. “Will you just try it, Madison? Nan will help you.”

Nan smiles at her, but Madison only rolls her eyes and lets out another scoff. Professor Goode sighs and moves on to another set of students, clearly just as exasperated with Madison as the girl is with her class.

And it takes some push and pull from both of them, but Madison finally gives in, relaxing completely and the fog finally decides to change.

What she sees confuses her and intrigues her all at the same time, and when Nan asks what she sees, she’s back to her normal self.

“None of your goddamn business.”

(She thinks about it the rest of the day, the rest of the week.)

//

Madison refuses to talk to anyone - especially Nan, who somehow looks like she knows exactly what Madison saw - about what she saw in that stupid crystal ball.

She doesn’t tell anyone because it’s stupid and dumb, and how accurate is this shit anyway?

Yet it feels like she can’t escape it, no matter how hard she tries because she’s in the library - thank you Professor Goode for being an ultimate pain in the ass - when she sees none other than Gryffindor Zoe Benson.

It wouldn’t be such a problem seeing Zoe - besides the fact, you know, most Gryffindors are the biggest pain her ass - but when she sees the brunette she’s immediately brought back to divination and what she saw and really, she’s still trying to wrap her mind around it.

That stupid crystal ball made one thing very clear: she and Zoe are supposed to end up together.

Madison almost scoffs out loud in the library when the thought appears in her mind again because just look at Zoe. She’s got her nose buried in a book and looks actually pleased to be spending an afternoon in the library of all places reading a book. Her eyes are lit up with wonder and she’s so lost in her reading and - okay, she actually looks kind of cute like this.

But the point is, how the fuck is Madison even supposed to end up with someone like Zoe Benson?

Zoe’s, like, a complete nerd even if she is friends with Mallory, who’s one of those popular Quidditch players. And more importantly Zoe’s a Gryffindor. Madison knows better than to date someone like that; she’s a goddamn Slytherin for crying out loud.

//

Zoe Benson is starting to pop up everywhere.

They’re in the same year so seeing each other around isn’t much of a surprise, but Madison swears the universe is out to get her.

She feels like everywhere she turns, Zoe is somehow also in the same place at the same time. Madison’s passed her in the hallways between classes and to and from meals more times than she can count. When she has to go to the library, Zoe is in there either by herself or with a friend or two studying or reading.

(Which, Madison will admit sometimes she plans her trips because she knows a certain Gryffindor will be in there.

Sue her.)

It’s getting ridiculous actually, how all she can think about is Zoe and her dumb smile and how smart she is and how she doesn’t take anyone’s shit and -

God dammit, Madison. Get a grip.

“You’re thinking too loud.”

Madison whips her head to look at Nan. The girl is writing her notes in her notebook, not even bothering to meet Madison’s gaze.

“What are you talking about?”

“If this is about whatever you saw when were crystal-gazing, it’s obviously going to happen,” Nan states in a matter-of-fact tone as she finishes writing the last of her sentence before dipping her quill into the ink while Madison gapes at her. “So you might as well stop fighting it.”

It’s now that Madison wonders if it’s even possible for the likes of wizards and witches to be clairvoyant because she’s pretty sure Nan is. It’s like she’s in Madison’s head.

“I didn’t see anything,” she snaps, trying to brush off the conversation as she turns her attention back to her half-written notes. “And even if I did, I wouldn’t care. This shit is stupid.”

Nan simply says, “I think we both know I’m right.”

A scoff drops from Madison’s lips as she turns and looks at Nan again, expecting the smaller girl to at least elaborate. When Nan doesn’t, Madison rolls her eyes and grabs her quill pen from the ink bottle, trying to block out all and any thoughts of the crystal ball and Zoe Benson.

//

When Madison walks into Professor Goode’s classroom well after classes have finished, she’s greeted by a slightly confused look.

“Miss Montgomery,” she greets with slight confusion, but a smile nonetheless. “What can I do for you?”

“I was wondering if I could practice my crystal-gazing,” Madison tells her a little too simply. “Nan has been trying to work with me outside of class, but, you know, kind of hard to actually practice without a crystal ball.”

Professor Goode is surprised by her answer, but she lights up at the prospect of Madison actually putting in effort to succeed in her class. The Slytherin resists the urge to roll her eyes at the expression.

“Of course,” Professor Goode nods, standing from her chair and making her way to the back of the classroom.

Madison follows her slowly, arms crossed and fingers tapping against her robe.

Professor Goode retrieves one of her crystal balls and hands it over to Madison.

“You can use it in here,” she informs the young witch. “Just make sure you put it back after.”

Madison offers the tiniest of smiles. “Thank you, Professor.”

Professor Goode gives her one last nod before she returns to her desk in the front of the classroom.

Madison slips into the first row of desks she sees and places the crystal ball in front of her. She exhales slowly, letting herself relax before she focuses her attention on the crystal ball before her. It takes a few moments, but the fog is beginning to clear.

The first scene she sees is herself and Zoe in an empty corridor, this Madison pulling Zoe by her collar and kissing her senseless. She watches as Zoe giggles against Madison’s lips and Madison smiles against her lips.

The next scene must be a few years later, Madison guesses they might even be graduated from Hogwarts by then, but they walk down a street, holding hands. This Madison looks happy and her eyes shine when they look at this older Zoe, who is pulling her along and into a bookstore.

The following scene brings Madison to what looks like a flat. She recognizes herself and Zoe, a few years older than they were in the last scene. Zoe is curled up on the couch reading a book. Older Madison enters the scene, wearing an oversized sweater and probably not much else, and she walks behind the couch before she’s leaning over to wrap her arms around Zoe’s shoulders from behind.

Zoe shifts back comfortably against her, and Madison lets out a content sigh before she’s leaving kisses all over Zoe until Zoe cannot focus on her book anymore. Zoe tugs Madison over the couch with a yelp from the blonde, and they’re laughing and kissing and saying “I love you.” This Madison is wearing a ring.

The final scene Madison sees is much farther in the future. She and Zoe are white-haired and old and everything Madison somewhat dreads about aging, but they are in a kitchen where Zoe cooks dinner and Madison is perched at the counter watching. Zoe lets Madison taste whatever she has cooking and Madison beams at her before Zoe is kissing her sweetly. This Madison’s eyes are full of love and appreciation and something Madison has always been longing for.

When the fog fully returns, Madison blinks a few times before pulling herself away from the crystal ball. She’s quiet after, mulling over the scenes she’s seen again and the thoughts running through her mind.

She returns the crystal ball and quietly thanks Professor Goode before walks out, trying to truly process what she’s known for weeks.

She and Zoe are meant to be.

//

It’s the weekend trip into Hogsmeade and Madison decides at the last minute to go. The weather is nice outside; it’s evident by the sheer increase of people on the train this time around and how excited they are once they arrive, practically flying out of the train as soon as the doors open.

Madison takes her time and strolls around; it reminds her often of when she was much younger and her parents would talk of taking a trip to Hogsmeade back during their days at Hogwarts, telling Madison that she’d long for her weekend trips there.

She’s passing by Honeydukes when she recognizes a certain brunette wandering the street by herself. For a moment, Madison hesitates. She chews her bottom lip, almost stopping in her tracks.

The rivalry inside of her won’t just quit it - this much she knows - but she thinks about what her future’s supposed to be like. She reminds herself how the Madison she’d seen in the crystal ball had everything that she’s felt like she’s missing and has been longing for.

She quickens her pace, falling into step with the other girl.

“What, did all your friends ditch you?”

Zoe looks at Madison and shakes her head, a smile appearing on her features. “Hello to you too, Madison.”

Madison gives her an amused look. “Let me guess, you told them you were going to Tomes and Scrolls and they  all decided they have better things to do.”

“And what’s wrong with Tomes and Scrolls?” Zoe asks, mildly offended.

“God Benson, you’re such a nerd,” Madison tells her.

“Some of us actually enjoy learning, you know.”

Madison smirks. “I know; you’re kind of hot when you’re all concentrated in the library.”

Initially, Zoe’s cheeks flush. She ducks her head, attempting to let her face hide the way she’s been affected by Madison’s words. Madison resists lighting up at the reaction.

“I…Are you spying on me in the library, Montgomery?”

Madison shrugs, tossing her hair behind her shoulder. “I know how to appreciate a view when I see one, that’s all.”

She notices how Zoe bites her lip, but not before a smile starts to spread. Her cheeks are still flushed, and she’s left somewhat stuttering because Madison is completely catching her by surprise.

Madison knows she’s got Zoe right where she wants her.

“Come on nerd,” she says suddenly, beginning to walk ahead of Zoe.

“Where are we going?”

“Did you not want to go to Tomes and Scrolls?”

Zoe frowns. “You just…”

Madison rolls her eyes, reaching out and pulling Zoe’s hand to tug her forward. “Let’s go before I change my mind.”

Zoe looks from their hands to Madison’s expectant expression. She manages a nod, letting Madison hold her hand until the blonde lets go.

And Madison may complain about books and how boring it is the whole time, but she sure has fun making Zoe blush and stutter with every other comment.

//

“Madison, I’m trying to study,” Zoe huffs. “You should be too, you know.”

“I’m tired of studying,” Madison tells her. “Can’t we like, do anything else?”

“And what would you like to do?”

Madison’s eyes light up, she smirks.

Right where she wants her, yet again.

“I could think of a few things I’d do to you.”

Zoe blushes furiously, Madison’s name coming off as a hiss on her lips before she’s turning back to her books and pointedly not looking at the blonde.

Madison grins wide, leaning back in her chair comfortably.

//

Hogsmeade becomes a regular activity for Madison and Zoe, as in going together.

This time when they go, Madison slips her hand into Zoe’s like it’s the most natural thing in the world. There’s slight surprise on Zoe’s face, but she doesn’t say a word.

Madison holds her hand for basically the whole trip, with exceptions of entering stores and eventually the pub.

Zoe doesn’t mind, she likes when Madison intertwines their fingers, how someone who outwardly seems so cold feels so warm in her grasp. She doesn’t pull away even when Madison has her flushed and stuttering, like always.

(And sure, maybe Zoe’s friends raise their eyebrows, and she owes them an explanation later.

But Madison’s threatening look is enough for them to mind their own business for now.)

//

Madison swears she’s waiting for Zoe to finally make a move.

She is, but Zoe is just so adorably cautious, so afraid for pulling the trigger and going in.

So Madison gives in.

Zoe is in the middle of explanation some spell or another to Madison when Madison tugs the front of her sweater and pulls her in. Their lips meet and it’s clear Zoe wasn’t expecting this at all, but she melts when Madison kisses her and it’s enough for Madison to know this is exactly where she needs to be.

“Oh,” Zoe says when Madison pulls away.

She looks dazed and utterly adorable and it’s hard enough for Madison not to pin her up against the wall immediately.

“What?” Madison asks playfully, an amused expression on her face. “You didn’t think I was flirting with you just for fun now, did you?”

It makes Zoe laugh before she replies, “You’re such a smart ass” and pulls Madison in for another kiss.

[brightlytae]

Okay okay. I'm an Exo-L and I used to be an Army but the fandom really hurt my feelings when I got into EXO. (Like fell in love but I never stopped loving Bts) I felt shunned by some Army who felt like I couldn't like Bts if I liked Exo. So I just became an Exo-L. But after seeing about Bts' new album, I really wanna get back into Bts again. But I find it really hard to do it. Maybe because of what I associate them with. But can you tell me reasons why you love them? Maybe I'll remember too!

Hey there! First I guess I want to apologise on behalf of other ‘armys’ who made you feel like you couldn’t listen to Exo. Unfortunately there is such a longggg and (very tired) rift between exo-ls and army and its just so unnecessary. As someone who listens and enjoys both groups, I believe that there is no reason for others to try and stop people from enjoying both! Kpop is meant to be enjoyed and fans shouldn’t feel like they get to control other fans! I hope that you can get back to enjoying both groups!!

I understand what its like when something effects you to the point that it turns you off from your interest. Sometimes people can be so mean and so pushy that its understandable why you would begin to distance yourself. Something I have always done in being a part of a fandom, is to keep myself away from a lot of the fandom issues- such as fanwars and toxic fans who have a little too much to say about other groups. ive said this a few times on my blog, but BTS are not their fans, and these ‘fans’ shouldnt stop you from enjoying what you want to enjoy!

why do I love BTS? for me there are many reasons:

1) Plain and simply- they make me smile. When i’m having a tough day, when i’ve been working late or something has gone wrong, i can watch a bangtan bomb or a run episode and they make me laugh so much. All of the boys are such characters that compliment each other so well and they all have a streak of humour that is just attached to my funny bone. like they’re just so chaotic and fun, they arent afraid to laugh at themselves and have a good time and that to me, is so refreshing to see. When I watch them, i just feel so connected and drawn in, they make me somehow feel a part of the jokes and i really enjoy that.

2) Their music and message. BTS songs really are pieces of art. I really love how active a role the members have in the production of the songs and i specifically love the way they use their music as an outlet to talk about very real problems that teens and young adults are facing as well as just addressing social issues in such a mature and intelligent way. Songs like no more dream and N.O from their earlier albums, songs like Paradise and Answer: Love myself from their newer albums… these are things that i feel like people like me need to hear. They have reminded me that i will be ok and that i deserve to be happy. They tell me that i am worth something even when i am confused about who i am/ what i want in life and they tell me that i am allowed to believe in myself. They use their talents to create these songs that speak to people and connect to them. When I think about Agust D and Mono i know for a fact that there are songs on those albums that have helped so many people (me included). but also songs like Baepsae and 21st century girls are just so so important too? As someone very interested in politics/class systems/society and someone who considers themselves a feminist- i just love seeing these things being brought up in music!

3) Their bond. The boys are so so so connected and that was one of the early things that really pulled me towards bts and made me stay. i noticed when watching their videos, just how considerate they are of each other, how much they look after one another, build each other up, rely on one another, remind each other that they are doing a good job… that they matter. Their friendship is so beautiful to see and for me, it makes the content they release feel so organic- they’re just so themselves around each other and its very real to me, they ways in which they are dedicated to the group. they are a family and they love each other so much!

4) They are good people. They run the Love myself campaign with unicef and several members have donated thousands to charities around South Korea. They truly want to make a difference in the world and they really want this difference to be a positive one. They’re so dedicated to giving and giving- and we dont see this often with celebrities really. 

5) they are relatable. I strongly believe that groups deserve privacy and to have a personal life but bts have always been very open with their fans and i have such a huge amount of respect for them for doing that. They have been vocal about the hard times they have faced, some of their struggles and they remind us that they are just like us.Where they have opened up, they have allowed others to feel like they too can share their concerns and that is so important! And they have torn down the fan/idol barrier in so many ways and allowed us to view them as friends or family. They really care about us all and want us to be happy- they’ve dedicated songs specifically to give us this message and they never forget to tell us just how much we mean to them.  

6) They work so so so damn hard! They dedicate hours and hours of their time to making music and practising choreography, even on their breaks they find time to record songs and covers for us, go on vlive, post on twitter and connect with their fanbase. But really the amount of work they apply to their craft shows- they’re comebacks are always so flawless and intense, I am always surprised and excited by what they are going to do next and they are never predictable! their music videos are literally some of the best things i have ever seen in my life- the artistry, the vision, the storylines…. its all on another level to me. Things are not half-assed. They make sure that when they want to show us something, that something is perfect and it really is always just. so.  damn. perfect!

7) and that leads me on to the steps bts have taken beyond just music. They dont just give us albums, they have given us a whole world! We get notes, a comic book and short films all dedicated to a whole story-line of events that (sure is confusing af) but it keeps me so intrigued! I cant help but want to always know more, find out what I can and see whats coming next! 

I think ive probably rambled at you for long enough but i just want to say that i  found bts at a time in my life where i felt very confused and unlike myself. Bts reminded me of who I was and what I like. I have to say that Taehyung especially did this for me. As i was learning about them and i saw how unapologetically himself he was, how he was so optimistic and caring, how he didnt let things bother him, he reminded me that i used to be like that and that i wanted to be like that again. He and the rest of the group helped me find myself and reconnect to a lot of my emotions. 

I hope this could help you in some way remember what it was about bts that you loved so much, and please dont hesitate to contact me again if you want to talk about this more! When the new album comes out, I hope you can get back into bts like you want to do! Im sorry again for what happened with those other army who shunned you. On this blog I will never make someone feel bad for enjoying exo or any other kpop group out there. 

Thank you for stopping by and asking me this question. It was really nice revisiting why i love bts as much as i do and reminding myself of all they have done for me!

[skeletorific]

I Like My Coffee Like I Like My Skeleton

The name changes. To some its known as Reaper’s Grind. To others, Bones and Brew. To still others, MarshMarrow. It depends who’s in charge that month. Regardless of the name, it is always painted in black script on a driftwood sign, carved so that it appears to be cradled by giant skeleton hands.

Most see this sign and assume its some kind of Halloween or Goth themed establishment. However, the caffeine addicted of the city know there’s no better place to get your fix. As long as your willing to put up with the quirks of the owners.

The cafe is a cozy space, varying levels of clean depending on who’s on staff. The walls are beige, with abstract murals of black paint covering the walls. Frequent patrons will notice that the murals seem to expand as time goes on. Every now and then they’ll come in to the walls completely blank, having apparently been painted over, only to start again. Rumor has it that if you squint you can make out swear words, or even bad jokes in the design. Squinting is not encouraged. There is also a shelf of books for customers to peruse or even purchase. Mostly trashy romance novels for reasons no one has ever been able to figure out, as well as joke books, science textbooks, car magazines, and, most bewilderingly, puzzle theory. 

The cafe has 8 owners, usually with only two or three on staff at a time. They all look so similar that most believe they’re related. Some will even call each other “brother” or “bro”, which seems to confirm it, but everyone worries it’d be racist to ask.

Papyrus is usually on staff in the mornings, which is a good thing. He’s a bright and perky presence to start your day with, and he does his best to create a welcoming environment for those on their way to an early morning commute. He specializes in perk ups, something to get help you shake off those last remnants of sleep while preventing those midmorning crashes. He’ll usually try to coax customers into the healthier versions. “REALLY, ALMOND MILK IS MUCH BETTER FOR YOU!” He also is very good at remembering small details about his regulars. Some of them come to depend on him as a daily reminder to take their meds. Now if only he was better at remembering names...he tends to come up with nicknames for people he sees a lot and they stick with him more than their actual names. An absolute sweetheart who keeps the store spotless, but if he tries to get you to sample his latest pastry invention, politely decline.

Sans is a less energetic presence to be sure (he can usually be found asleep and propped up in some corner if no one on shift bothers to wake him up), but he’s also a well-liked staple of the cafe. He has an easy, laid-back small talk that can set even the most agoraphobic introvert at ease, and writes bad jokes on coffee cups. His coffee is mostly pretty basic stuff, but if you know him well and ask him for the secret stuff....well, you’d be be prepared to deal with the fallout. That particular menu option is the last resort of grad students trying to get through their thesis. The effects are somewhere between Red Eye and Speed. One girl reported a full week of being unable to close her eyes, by the end of which she could taste color and was carrying on active conversations in a language that she did not know. It is varying levels of legal depending on who you ask. Just dont narc. And don’t ask in front of his brother. 

Its easy to tell when Red is on the clock, his motorcycle is easily the most ostentatious thing in the parking lot. So much so that he insists on a two parking spot bubble around it to avoid scratches. He also refuses to take off his leather jacket, wearing it over his uniform. No apron. Not a fuckin chance. His customer service is at best ehhh (unless he considers you attractive, in which case, prepare your flirtatious barista fantasies), but the boy makes a pumpkin spice latte so good it should be illegal. Spiced drinks as a whole are his specialty. When fall and winter roll around he brings customers in like flies to honey to get a taste of it, and it make the cafe smell amazing. Don’t tell anyone but he has a habit of “forgetting” to make people pay for their coffee when they look like they’re having a rough time. Not that he’d ever admit it, but he’s kind of a softie. Abysmal cleaning, and he’s usually making drinks for himself on the clock, but once you get to know the guy, he’s a pretty good dude. Also his music taste is fire and the cafe playlist gets infinitely better whenever he’s on staff.

Edge is a different story. While all of them technically own the store in equal parts and no one is legally in charge, it was pretty quickly discovered that mixing Edge with customer service was a recipe for disaster. So he takes on a more managerial role, dealing with finance, shipment, rent, and advertising deals. Everything needed to keep the place afloat. When he’s on shift (and he usually is), he can generally be found in the office unless the place is absolutely slammed. Though he’s not much for dealing with customers, he’s excellent at making gourmet drinks. His skills were made for Instagram. He also has just a biiiit of a soft spot for the kids that sometimes come in,  and may have quietly slipped in some more child friendly options to the bookshelf, as well as a couple action figures that Red swears look familiar. 

If you want a high octane burst without risking your life, Blue is your guy. I mean, the dude’s practically a walking five hour energy. He is more than generous with his definition of what a shot is, and blends in truly irresponsible amounts of sugar and sweetner for an extra kick. Kids naturally love the insanely sweet taste but it is not recommended that parents let them finish a full sized one. If Edge is on the clock he will straight up slap it out of his hands before people start bouncing off the walls. Blue is also incredibly sweet and friendly with the customers, and has amassed a decent sized collection of regulars who only became regulars due to a crush on him. He flirts shamelessly but never lets it go too far.

Stretch likes doing novelty drinks. Did someone say Unicorn Frappucinnos? The weirder and more poorly conceived the better. He also does most of the baking for the cafe. Muffet taught him a lot about pastries back underground, although it took a while to make the transition from spider carcasses to just...you know, normal flour. He switches the menu up a lot when he gets bored of making the same thing, although for some reason corndogs are always an option. The kitchen really is the best place for him. Leaving him unattended on the front tends to lead to miscief, especially if his brother is there to egg him on. He’ll loosely detach his hand only to enjoy the horrified looks when it pops off as he hands a drink to the customer. They get more negative Yelp reviews that way, but a lot of customers enjoy his sense of humor. He has absolutely tried to pull the Salt and Pepper diner bit by editing the playlist for the cafe 

Black is a bit of an odd duck in the cafe. He doesn’t have the patience to sit still long enough for managerial responsibilities. He’s terrible with customer service. His drinks arent bad, but the coffee is as black as his soul regardless of what they actually ordered. Even when forced to make something a little less straightforward he makes it incredibly bitter, because to him, coffee should never be sweet! If you don’t want bitter, don’t get coffee!! some wonder why the others even bother to let him on staff. But Black’s role is vital. Its inevitable that asshole customers pop up in a coffee shop. Entitled, being a dick to either the other baristas or even other customers. And this is where Black shines. Come hell or highwater he can get any customer out in less than a minute with little to no scene, both reducing the time they’re  in the store and the risk that watching the altercation might cause an anxiety spike in one of their customers. He just up and carts them out of the store, then returns a few moments later, quietly checking in on everyone involved to make sure no one was hurt or too shaken up. When asked what happens to these guys the only thing Black will ever say is “NOTHING YOU CAN PROVE”. He also keeps the place spotless. May or may not help Blue and Stretch with the pranks, though he’ll deny it to the bitter end.

While Blue may lowkey flirt with a few and Red may highkey flirt with a lot, Rus is flirting with everyone. No, seriously. Everyone. Not being creepy, but chances are you’re leaving with red cheeks that have nothing to with the hot drink in your hand. He’s fairly popular for precisely this reason, though very few have ever gotten a serious date out of it. The man makes a mean cappucinno, great herbal  teas and has those smoky bedroom eyes. There’s buzz that he’s also the one responsible for the ever evolving mural, though he never confirms it. Rus takes far too many smoke breaks and doesn’t clean worth a damn but is responsible for nearly half of their consistent customer base. He has a sixth sense for creeps. If he sees a date going on where one of them is looking exceedingly uncomfortable, he can effortlessly swoop in and charm the pants off them until the other asshole leaves in frustration. If he sees someone looking nervous he has ways of subtly getting out of them what the problem is. And if he ever gets the vibe that someone is being harassed he may or may not sic Black onto them without batting an eye. Much as he seems not to give a damn about anything regarding work, Rus takes it as a minor point of pride that their cafe is a safe space for people to get away from it all, if only for a couple minutes.

Bonus:

Axe is their maintenance man who comes in whenever equipment breaks, while Crooks is the night janitor who will often come in with his brother on daytime calls. Both of them are a bit too...unstable for regualar shift jobs. Maintenance positions allows them to be on their own if they need to be and generally avoid stressful triggers. Still, Crooks loves the cafe. On his good days he helps Stretch with the baking, and when the day is really slow Blue and Papyrus will teach him how to mix drinks. Axe is a little more grumbly about it but even he admits its kind of a calm space to be in. The man drinks exculsively black coffee though so he kind of misses out on most of the menu. When he’s in a good mood he competes with Red over flirting with customers. 

Special thanks to @jezziconvair who gave me the idea for a lot of the drink specialities and who Tumblr isn’t letting me tag for some reason!

[sunnyvaiprion]

Hi! I have a question (two actually) So how do you use Mr Dark Prince in battle? And is there a 4th mysterious member along your Julius/Reinhardt/Child!Azura team? (I love these interactions of them you draw btw~)

Oh, thanks!! 

About the team: yes! Since it’s a primarily AR team, there are two more! One of them is basically defaulted to Eir, but more often than not she stays as far away as she possibly can from any action (she has a nice heal though. Also she can throw Julius into enemies if he cant walk there fast himself). And second is a wildcard that varies from team to team (it was supposed to be a bonus unit, but it seems like Eir will stay for quite a long time), but my “main” now uses Bride Ninian for… no apparent reson besides being a dancer and me liking her. I will most likely change her for someone else/heavily alter her build because it’s actually pretty wacky with this team, but for now she stays (because she can fulfill her main purpose which is assisting trap removal in tight spaces). 

And now, About Julius: Ranged units can be a major pain. Sometimes (more like nearly always) you cant initiate on one and run without the rest of them scattering like dust particles if you blow on them all across the map with their dancers (especially now with Lazura), and to bait them you need someone who can take entire triangle and probably physical damage too, all at once. Use a dragon? Yes… a dragon.

Due to it being a somewhat lenghty text, I am putting it under the cut. 

If someone else thought about using him but was afraid that he isnt “a good unit” or “not favoured by meta” - I’d recommend you read into this too!

I have my Julius with Loptous, Reposition, Iceberg, Distant Defence, Guard, Attack Ploy, and another Distant Defence. which is - a wall. I place him in a space where he can be targeted by units I want (nearly any ranged, tbh. IF there’s a melee frontiline unit - Reinhardt has a message for them.) so he can kill them or hold them in place, and make sure my team can give him maximum amount of drives without putting anyone in danger. (oftenmost it’s just Azura and that’s it but still). 

Pros:

It’s VERY hard to kill him during EP. Even blue mages and bows/daggers with high attack struggle to deal non-zero damage to him, especially pre-dance. TA blue mage dancers included, as they usually dont break 50 attack mark by much.

No specials. Unless a special is pre-charged on turn 1 (or 2CD with Heavy/Flashing blade after dance), no luck trying to damage him with one either while guard is up and have fun offing it. Glimmer still deals a 0. Moonbow most likely a single digit.

He has high attack but without QR he will unlikely kill a unit coming at him on their first initiation (unless its low res green OR Reinhardt)…. which will waste a dancer’s turn to dance them instead of dancing some out-of-range thing you DONT want to attack, like a melee fast sword in that far-off corner.

On second initiation (if danced, alternatively someone else if the first unit died or didnt get a dance) that unit is guaranteed dead, though, because Iceberg hits like a truck especially with his already nice attack and STUPIDLY HIGH RES especially on EP. If they somehow survive this (Aversa with res wave on comes to mind) - its not a crazy PP unit so their damage is definitely a hard 0, so no biggie. Also works with a fast dazzle staff or if first enemy fails to double, since CD is 3.

With his res he can atk ploy virtually any unit of his choice, making the most dangerous unit to him (usually a physical or Ophelia) less dangerous at least pre-dance (when they have a chance to land more attacks).

His speed is actually not THAT bad. He usually doesnt mind getting doubled, but still. If you throw some speed buffs on him he can deny even some fast units their doubles. This might come in handy when fighting aforementioned units.

He is a lot easier to actually obtain and merge than similar units (Micaiah, Deirdre, Kliff maybe?) due to not being a 5-star locked or even limited unit. Unless you are a whale, and I dont judge, but for me it’s a big plus right there. Skills I have on him are also all widely available (I got DD off Garon).

Ranged anti-dragon weapons are all green (= normal blue for Julius, multiplier-wise). After Nagas got refines I actually started seeing them on defence maps. Guess what, still 0 damage. Daggers are trickier but a lot rarer and still manageable. They added an inheritable one just now but… why would anyone actually use it on heroes except it’s native user (who is also green) ?? Either way you wont see much of that.

See that Surtr? Julius will take care of him for you, too, with his high attack. In a single hit, if you pre-charge his Iceberg on something else. I know that almost any red mage can do it, but I heared some people still struggle. He can take a DC-hit from him too, if he runs one.

He can tank Ophelia, but be careful. For her he needs res buffs, especially the visible one, because of her initial AoE. Atk ploy her. If she can get an attack buff, It’d be great for you to have panic ploy too (right now there’s a lot of options, including Panic Manor). On a positive note, there should be plenty of mages on the same team as her, probably red and green, which wont really bother him afterwards.  

That’s Julius. We love our possessed lord.

Cons:    

While he takes little to no damage from any ranged source, Poison Strike-esque damage will get him good. Pain+ healers arent particulary dangerous because they cant deal any more damage to him no matter what, but units like firesweep bow double poison lyn are not very nice for him to face head-on (yes, I hate her in particular with burning passion), especially if she gets danced, receive a buff and attacks again, while there are other non-zero damage units in the back. But unlike a melee unit in the front line, it’s not always an option to snipe her (or any other unit like her) prior to Julius getting in range. This is, honestly, your worst nightmare. Be very careful with things like that and calculate damage dealt to make sure he wont die. … even though I think it’s not just his problem. But he doesnt easily solve it.  

He is reliant on team support to fight ranged physicals. Not going to lie about it. Def Tactic (or a wave if you’re into them) and 1-2 drive defs (ideally distant guard) should do, which is by no means too much investment, but it should be done.

His player phase leaves a lot to be desired. But like… what’s new? He’s enemy phase per advertisement. He still can Iceberg someone to the ground should he have it ready, or finish off someone previously mangled in EP, though.

He’s likely to deal more than 50% HP in one hit to PP heroes, especially ones that dump res or run LnD, which will activate wings of mercy, and a WoM melee unit can warp to his face and smack him. BUT usually dancers run WoM, and those have lower-end stats, so he should be okay at the very least. The only lancer dancer in the game is OG Azura, but …when was the last time I’ve seen her…  anyway, be careful with WoM.

He’s going to get Chill Res’d. He will get Chill Res’d every time every day of the week cause you wont find any ally with more res than him to “bait” chill res. It’s not like he will die from it though.

He’s infantry, so unfortunately, no easy fortify/wards for him. But if he was any other movtype - it’d bring it’s own problems, so… maybe it’s for the best. Also distant guard is a thing now.

He wants to stay above 80% hp and it’s very easy until he starts taking 5+ damage per hit. If it’s the case - you need to start paying attention to enemy specials again, especially longer CD ones.

Alternatives: While I am happy with how he does his job for now, I am planning make one adjustment, which is - give him Steady Stance 4. (once I get the fodder Surtr, which is not so soon). It will allow him to use his entire HP pool more effectively, and will give him extra survivability against physical threats, even if by a little bit. Additionally, it will protect him againt melee units too (like a WoM dancer teleporting to him) for safety measures and it will open up B slot! Losing 6 res (and 3 Iceberg damage) is not a big deal compared to all those benifits, ESPECIALLY since staying above 80% would be no longer needed.    

I .. dont really have a plan what to put in B slot then, because I intentionally want to avoid QR for a reason I explained above. But hey, I’ll figure something out when the time comes. However QR is also a viable option if you want him to kill everything in one go.

Iceberg is also, in theory, could be replaced by Glacies, if you want more damage. But I personally decided against it, because Iceberg’s cooldown is easier to manage and it’s damage is already enough in most cases. Also Iceberg is a lot better with QR should you want to use him for insta-kills.

And for the love of Loptyr himself, dont try to build him player phase or give him Fury. There are heroes with a lot better stat spreads for PP (yes, I’ve seen a PP Julius), and Fury is a fastest way to turn off Guard/QR and ruin his excellent ability to take zeros from most things. I tried it while I didnt have DD to fodder, and I didnt get much out of it. 

Now, he fits on virtually any map, but here are some examples of AR maps which he absolutely murdered.

I rely on my dragon! I’m very glad I decided to pick him up, even if he’s not that popular of a unit. 

[bigbadwolf-16]

i had bonus thoughts about rahool and drifter so here they are

rahool and drifter arent dating but they could be in a world where drifter isnt an insane feral spaceman with rabies and heres the thing about that;

rahool knows it. hes intelligent and perceptive, he can see that theres something there, he knows how to tell when drifter likes someone and when hes playing games, but he can also see theyre so immensely different in some very critical ways that he knows it wouldnt work -- that doesnt stop him from casually looking the other way while drifter breaks rules, though and, hey, its been a long time since anyone's flirted with him even jokingly and he could use a little bit of harmless fun in his daily life.

because rahool is very. i dont want to say traditional? because that doesn't feel quite right, but if he were looking for a relationship with anyone, he would want stability and some level of sanity. something relaxed, something low stakes. hanging out with someone as unhinged as drifter is fun and, dont get him wrong, drifter is fascinating, but being friends with a nutjob and being in a relationship with one are two completely different levels of intensity. if youre friends with someone crazy, its easier to tap out of an insane adventure and be like no. nope, this is where i get off, good luck with that thing youre doing. and when youre dating one, the expectation to be there extends beyond the initial headcount when you get on the bus; its more intimate, its more personal, and rahool doesnt excel in intimacy. he doesnt have time for it, he doesnt have time for sidelong glances and dinner dates, and he doesnt have any desire to be emotionally or physically intimate with anyone. all the better because when was the last time drifter had a heart-to-heart with anyone where he wasn't cornered and down to his very last handful of quips, looking like a dog about to bite?

neither of them want to be that close to someone; rahool because he doesnt feel like its necessary and drifter because hes literally incapable of that level of trust to such an extent i wouldnt put it past him to sabotage a relationship, intentionally or subconsciously, when it gets to a level that makes him nervous.

and thats not to say rahool a fair-weather friend, because youd be hard-pressed to find someone more resolutely loyal than him just because, as far as hes concerned, it makes sense, but rahool operates in a black and white world where drifter exists solely in gray. drifter will break rules, he'll break laws, he'll break the fucking geneva convention for a laff and all for a bigger picture that only people like drifter or eris or elsie could understand. people who havent just been touched by madness, theyve been consumed. theres things out there bigger than rules and patterns and its that level of unknown danger that rahool just cant jive with - even as a man of science who actively pursues answers, there are just some that hes more content not knowing because knowing opens doors that he doesnt want to be pushed through. hes not osiris.

and drifter? oof. i dont think he longs for companionship, hes done perfectly well on his own for centuries give or take flings or brief friendships that were the perfect means to an end and partners that got snuffed because they got a little bit too close to the truth of the universe, and he knows that things dont last. nothing is eternal and when youre a lightbearer, even a rogue one, not even death is forever until you piss off the wrong people. hes spent his whole second life in survival mode because thats where the excitement is. thats where the bloodthirsty thrive. he could have stayed on earth, grown with the city, been some rule-following stooge barking at the vanguard about how this or that isnt fair or just, but instead he decided to live his life on the bleeding edge and thats where hes at his best.

where black and white break into gray and theres no right or wrong answer for anything so long as survival is still the final result and theres probably some good in him somewhere, you think, but nobody knows the motives behind his cooperation. every so often you catch a glimpse beneath the curtain where the man who talks about a good old-fashioned hive stew around the campfire and interdimensional space monsters becomes a man who can snatch a chunk of the nine realms and tether it to his ship, build a machine overnight that can decrypt the impossible when the cryptarchs themselves have spent uncounted years just trying to crack one sequence of code with lost knowledge only recently unearthed, and who somehow always has an answer for an insurmountable problem that even the greatest minds of the golden age just couldnt quite reach - a man, not a legend, whos not so much clinging to the last thread of his sanity as he is bungie jumping from the end of it because there are answers at the bottom of this chasm and so long as hes got his gun and his wits, he'll bounce back when he reaches the end.

to rahool, the drifter is incomprehensible, fascinating, ingenious, dangerous, and strange, and he wants to see more so he keeps a close eye on what the drifter lets him see, never under any illusion that hes gaining some unknown insight beyond what anyone else could find if they kept up - and very few can keep up. it takes a special kind of lunatic to understand the drifter, but all you need to see him is the knowledge that some things just have to be done for the greater picture and fussing over politics and tiptoeing around hard truths just isnt the way.

to drifter, rahool is the path of least resistance to information he finds useful, yes, but hes also someone (like eris) who doesnt expect him to follow protocols and doesnt expect him to be anything but reprehensible and gross, but also understands that - at least on a surface level, because the real hand cant be shown until the right time - drifter is also a man hellbent on making sure humanity is ready for whats coming next, because hes one of few who's not just seen it, but knows what needs to be done to stand against it. its coming, it cant be avoided, it cant be fought with heavy artillery and hope. he can rely on rahool not to try and stop him, not because hes stringing rahool along for the long con, but because deep down rahool understands that sometimes you need to get your hands dirty and not worry about what other people are going to think about it. theres just enough of a bastard in him to be worth liking, and drifter can respect that.

theres a part in good omens, speaking of, that kind of sums up drifters deal and why i think rahool would be so interested him exceptionally well and its this: "God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffable game of His own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players [i.e. everybody], to being involved in an obscure and complex variant of poker in a pitch-dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a Dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time."

that, in a man, is what fascinates rahool so much and he splits his time between trying to solve immensely complex lattices of ancient code and trying to solve drifter and most days hes not sure which one is more impossible. but he does know one of the two slings a mean drink and isnt bad company when he isnt portraying himself as a man who isnt bothered by anything, is dangerous to even know, and who can and will eat anything that doesnt somehow manage to eat him first - and even thats up for debate if youve heard his stories. there are so many layers to the drifter that rahool could spend the rest of his life digging and still never break through the outermost surface and when your job is the scifi equivalent of data entry on roids, he's up for a challenge where hangups and failures still give interesting returns.

[glowstickhaloboy]

smoothie klance au?? i guess

you would not guess how many half-written AUs i have in my drafts that become WAY TOO LONG for me to ever consider publishing in a text post. yes this is a short one.

keith makes smoothies for a living. it isnt a big deal until it is.

one night, this dude comes in. who cares about build-up, we all know its lance, and he looks frazzled. he sits at the counter and orders the fruitiest smoothie on the menu. keith makes it and doesnt think much of it, except to note that something about this kid is just... weird?

1: hes coming in alone, which people their age usually dont. 2: hes dressed pretty nicely. 3: hes just sitting there??? drinking a smoothie??? not even scrolling on his phone or anything, just looking around and slurping. okay weirdo. 4: he seems off. keith does not use the word “aura” on a regular basis but lance has an aura. (which does not make sense to keith, who barely understands his own emotions, let alone someone else’s.)

lance thanks keith, and leaves like thirty minutes later. hes certainly not the weirdest customer keith has ever served, but for some reason that random, singular dude sticks out in his mind.

but the shifts come and go, and gradually keith forgets about lance.

until he comes back in again.

its a lot like it was before. lance is dressed nicely, seeming miffed about something, or not miffed, exactly, but hes clearly not happy, and this time he orders a peanut butter and chocolate smoothie, and hes just as quiet as before, only this time hes rapidly tapping away on his phone instead of memorizing the inside of the restaurant, and keith is almost glad because it means he gets to sneak glances at this guy more casually??? like, hes had weird people in here before, and lance definitely isnt the weirdest, but enigma customers are intriguing to keith and he takes what he can get

the third time, its raining. lance is drenched, droplets running down the side of his face and under the collar of his (white, button-up) shirt. he smiles sheepishly at keith from across the room and sits at the counter, nearly having tripped on the way over because he didnt bother to wipe his shoes on the interior mat and created on the floor as he crossed the room.

he orders a strawberry and banana smoothie. keith has been preparing for this. he attempts small talk.

“nasty weather,” he says.

lance nods. “yep.”

god, that was horrible. 

keith hands lance his smoothie, his change, and hides at the far end of the counter. lance alternates between staring at his phone and watching the rain hit the windows and slide down the glass. sometimes, he sighs.

the fourth time, its the middle of the day. keith is just getting off his shift, but he imagines himself whipping around and demanding to stay later just so he can serve this random kid he knows nothing about???? his eyes are trained on lance as he walks out the door. he thinks lance glances at him. for the first time, keith wonders if lance comes in when keith is not there.

months pass, and lance comes in on the regular. its clear now that when he comes in, he is not happy. in fact, he seems to be getting less and less happy, judging by the fact that he starts to order mega-sized blueberry blitzes.

and then lance disappears

and keith isnt obsessed with the guy, he doesnt, like, notice except for the fact that he totally does. where the fuck did lance go???

but, you know, whatever. a customer is a customer. keith thinks about him sometimes, but lets it go for the most part.

until he doesnt.

its four more months before lance comes in again. leaves have fallen off the trees and scarves recently appeared in the street overnight. and now, all of a sudden, in an autumn sunset, lance stumbles through the door and throws himself into the nearest chair. keith can hardly believe his eyes.

“what can i get you?” he asks lance, and he thinks lance understands that keith recognizes him. still, lance takes a moment to answer, like he has to pick every part of himself off the ground first. he drags a hand down his face. looks up at the menu. looks down at his hands.

“fuckin... i dont know, man. you ever experiment with ingredients and stuff? like, on your break, you make yourself a smoothie thats not on the menu?”

keith cannot say that he has. “you want something thats not on the menu?”

“yeah...” says lance. “something with chocolate, though. i dont care how much it costs.”

its completely out of place for keith to ask why lance looks like utter shit. hes a smoothie maker, not a bartender. also, he still doesnt even know lances name. and yet.

“what am i trying to fix with this smoothie?” he asks. “rough day? heartache?”

“bingo!” says lance, a bite in his words. he laughs like he wants to die. “dont skimp on the chocolate, man, please.”

keith nods and tries to remember things that lance has ordered in the past (its never been the same thing twice) so he can use that to guess what lance would like. chocolate? what went well with chocolate??? strawberries--people dipped strawberries in those chocolate fountains. and bananas went well with strawberries. strawberry-banana with chocolate. it might be disastrous, might be passable. keith improvises a little on the portioning, delivers the finished product to lance with a pained face.

“i have no idea how this will taste.”

lance shrugs, pays the man, and sticks a straw in it. though keith has other customers, he waits for a reply. lance doesnt give him one. his face is stubbornly unreadable. but, he doesnt choke it back up, so keith doesnt make him anything else. he, regrettably, must now face the other distractions customers.

hes never focused less on what he was making. his goal is to get the order and send it out the door. in the meantime, lance sits at the counter, sucks down his smoothie, and stares at the back wall of the room as though he has recently been hollowed out. keith wonders just what the hell has been going on in this dudes life the past three months.

finally, the line empties out. keith scoots back to lance’s seat. “can i get you anything else?”

lance sets down his 3/4 finished glass (keith has to act fast) and shakes his head.

“we have cookies,” keith offers.

lance snorts into his shoulder. “man, how pathetic do i look? pity eyes and cookie offers and free conversation.”

keith drops all pretense. “what happened?”

lance hangs his head, his shoulders slumping. “i was really hoping that i wouldnt be coming back to this goddamn place for a long time.”

keith doesnt know what to say to that. he knows that it isnt about the smoothies, but he doesnt want to pry directly into lance’s life, so he says, “the smoothies arent that bad.”

“no. the smoothies are great. perfect pick me up. it just sucks that im back to needing pick me ups.” he takes a long sip of schroedinger’s disaster-passable smoothie, and instead of saying anything, keith remains silent, an invitation for lance to explain more. “i used to come in here all the time a couple months back."

“i remember,” says keith, unprompted, because he feels like lance will respond well to honesty right now.

lance raises his eyebrows but doesnt comment. “okay. well, its super lame, and youre going to think im a total loser considering you remember me, but its sort of a personal tradition for me to come in here... after i have a bad date. but i met this dude and we hit it off and we’ve been a thing for almost four months now. and then today...” he makes a soft, sad noise as his hand plummets and crashes on the counter. “he broke up with me.” keith frowns.

“that sucks.”

“yeah,” says lance. “it really, really does. so fuck guys and girls and dating in general for a while. lancey lance is going to take care of himself from now on.”

keith blinks in surprise. lancey lance. “your name is lance?” he asks.

“since day one.”

keith offers what he hopes is an encouraging smile. “keith.”

“well, keith,” says lance, standing, “keep up the good work.”

he slides a five onto the table and heads for the door. keith frowns down at it for a moment. as lance leaves, he calls over his shoulder, “its a tip!”

after that, keith doesnt see lance for a while, but now, knowing why, thats a satisfying thing.

but also, knowing that lance is into dudes and actively looking for love is a worrying thing. keith would have to be blind not to see how attractive lance is, and after their brief but insightful conversation, lance’s happiness is on keith’s wish list. lately, a particular train of thought has been running repeatedly though keith’s head: lance wants someone who is not a jackass; i am not a jackass.

but it would be totally weird for keith to ask lance out. besides, lance isnt coming into the restaurant anymore. keith physically cant ask him on a date. perhaps that is for the best.

and then, one saturday afternoon, the planets align. keith has had a confident morning, business has been steady all day, and he rolled out of bed looking good. lance walks in. contrary to keith’s power mood, lance looks like hes been recently hit by a bus and scraped off the pavement. he makes eye contact with keith on the doormat and gives a rueful smile. keith smiles sympathetically in return.

“maybe im just destined to die alone,” lance says, halfway through his coconut-key-lime whatever. “or i’ll find true love when im like thirty. which would be a bummer. im cute now.”

keith grins. hes leaning nonchalantly on the counter, a cleaning rag tossed over his shoulder. “the world is full of idiots,” he says consolingly.

lance’s eyes bug out. “im one of them!” he protests. “clearly! what am i doing wrong? keith? buddy? my man??? today, my date walked out in the middle of the movie. it wasnt even a bad movie! i have no idea what i did, but clearly she just had enough. i tried texting her, but my messages wouldnt deliver. i think she blocked me.”

“what movie did you take her to see?”

“die a virgin 3.”

“i think i might see the problem.”

“its a tasteful movie!” lance protests. “the whole franchise gets a bad rap because of one bad scene in the first movie, but this one is great! it has keaton lovinsten in it. who doesnt like keaton lovinsten? i was practically drooling over him from the first-- oh. oh. i think i know what might have turned her off.”

keith snorts. “i certainly wouldnt like it if i went out with a dude and he started eye-fucking someone else.”

casually slip into the conversation that you like dudes. good one, keith!

“i wasnt-!” lance turns beet red. “it was a movie! hes a celebrity! and there is no way it was that bad.”

“she clearly thought it was.”

lance’s head falls onto the table. “im hopeless,” he says, but he seems to feel better about saying it now. something in keiths chest settles. he thinks about the alignment of the planets and decides that he cant do this yet. hes going to let the universe keep on rotating, and he’ll catch his opportunity the next time. for some reason, he wants to take this slowly.

so lance continues to make keith’s workplace his lovelorn HQ. keith continues to give him sympathetic pats on the back, one time even literally, and eventually he feels comfortable referencing lance in conversations with others as “my friend lance...”

meanwhile, lance goes on date after date with countless people who are not keith. the jealousy is starting to eat at keith, but he can endure it because he only ever sees lance on the tail end of these tragic romantic encounters, when all lance wants to do is complain about their big noses and loud chewing. still, keith starts to feel like hes playing with fire. on any random day, lance could find someone who makes him very happy, and he would suddenly disappear for good.

on a snowy thursday, lance enters the restaurant with a shiver. he pulls off his mittens and waves to keith, who smiles and waves back over the pigtails of a little girl. when its lance’s turn to order, he appears pleasant, if worn down. he orders extra whipped cream.

“what went wrong?” keith asks good-naturedly, lounging an elbow on the counter.

lance hesitates a moment before answering. he unwraps his whole straw, sticks it carefully in his smoothie, and drinks, before saying, “actually... nothing. i mean, not nothing, but... it wasn’t a bad date this time, it was just, i dont know, weird.”

keith prickles. he doesnt like the idea of lance having a date that wasnt overtly bad. “what made it weird?”

“what was weird was that it was good, but it was with someone bad. well, not bad. hes not bad, he was never bad, but, like, he kind of broke my heart, so...”

keith flashes back to the night lance told him about his bad-date-tradition. he frowns. “your ex?”

lance stirs his smoothie pensively. “yeah. he apologized for a lot of stuff and said hes changed, and, like, i dont know what to do with that. i thought i moved on, but considering im still not seeing anyone, maybe its a good idea to try again. i mean, if its what he wants, and its what i want, then what could go wrong? its not like he was a dick, he was always nice to me when we were together...”

lance’s voice fades out. keith is trying to think of all the ways he can coolly scream THAT IS THE WORST IDEA without sounding suspicious or biased. its a damn good thing that lance is staring into his smoothie instead of at keiths face, because keith is not keeping it together. he had taken too much of his sweet time, and now lance was heading back into a relationship, and keith had to decide if he was going to try to break that up, or watch lance fall in love again.

“how do you know hes changed?” keith asks carefully. “how do you know the same thing wont happen again?”

lance eyes keith for a moment instead of replying. then, he goes back to stirring his drink. “he seemed different. it felt like he had changed. he looked good...”

“you look good,” says keith. lance’s eyes flash up to him, and keith feels his face burn, his mind shouting, idiot! idiot! idiot! “i mean! i mean that you have changed, too, so you shouldnt be hasty about this decision. you should... look at all of your options.”

“do i even have other options at this point? my other option is stay lonely and unhappy.”

“or.” keith licks his suddenly dry lips. “you could try going on a date with me.”

silence rings loudly in his ears. he cant look at lance. he cant believe he just did that. he just said it, just like that, just put it out there for the world to hear. for lance to hear.

lance asks, “do you mean that?”

keith finally looks at him, and takes it as a very good sign that instead of revulsion or discomfort, he sees surprise. surprise and something happy. it gives him the courage to smile.

“yeah,” he says. “i mean it. you could finally see me out of this stupid apron. i mean! you could see me in my normal clothes.”

lance coughs hard into his hand, and keith’s soul withers with the knowledge that they are both currently thinking about keith naked.

lance recovers, albeit with a heavy blush on his face. “i’d like that,” he says. “but, um, just so you know, if it goes badly and you decide you hate me, im buying a blender and making my own smoothies after that.”

“that’s fair, but i dont think it will go badly,” says keith. “let me give you my number.” he pulls a napkin from the dispenser and scribbles on it with a pen, slides the napkin over to lance. when did it get so hot in here?

“thanks,” says lance, folding it and putting it in the pocket of his sweatshirt.

neither of them know what to talk about now.

“um, when are you free?” keith offers. “theres a new exhibit at the gallery that my old art teacher contributed to. its space themed, i think. we could go see it.”

lance nods. “that sounds fun. oh man, this is so awkward. im so sorry. im just still trying to register the fact that you actually asked me out. i did not think that was ever going to happen.”

keith cant help but think, me either. shiro is going to be so proud of him.

and, in a moment of bravery, he decides that he likes to see lance so bashful and awkward. he cant help but press his advantage. keith sticks out a hip, leans forward on the counter, and says, “was i too subtle before?”

but it seems like keith accidentally started speaking a language that lance understood. immediately, lance turns on the charm, a smile stretching over white teeth. keith is only shocked for a moment, and he doesnt let it show. lance says, “a little. thats okay. i like shy boys.”

keith wills himself not to get flustered. “how do you feel about motorcycles?”

“motorcycles?” lance repeats, genuinely interested.

“yeah,” says keith, still smiling. “i could teach you how to ride.”

lance gags a little bit on his straw. keith laughs and leaves him sputtering to tend to a pair of kids who just came in. by the time hes finished making their drinks, lance has disappeared, and in his place is a little napkin with a smiling face and the line: am i your bike? because its easy for you to get my motor running.

keith swipes it out of public sight, grinning, and stuffs it in his pocket.

the date does not go badly. it goes very, very well. keith shows up on his motorcycle, and lance is both impressed and excited to ride it. he hugs keith tight around the middle, whooping loudly, and when they pull into a parking spot, he stumbles off the seat like a champion, drunk on adrenaline, eyes shining. keiths heart sprints. they check out the exhibit and lance amuses keith by making ritzy, intellectual comments such as, “the artist has a certain je ne sais quoi, a, how do you say, need to fuck the canvas” that have keith choking back laughter in an effort to remain respectful. it goes so well that keith has the courage to take lance’s hand halfway through the exhibit, to which lance looks down and says, “gay.” afterwards, even though they didnt plan to, they go out to eat at a diner and split a large order of fries. lance has a unique, deeply personal drink (1/3 mountain dew 1/3 cherry coke 1/3 pepsi with a shot of dr pepper) which he graciously allows keith to try. keith periodically catches himself imagining scenarios wherein he and lance show up on each others doorstep for surprise dates or lounge together half-asleep in pajama pants, lance playing video games while keith watches vine compilations on youtube. afterward, because neither of them want to go home, keith takes lance for a spin on the motorcycle just to feel lance hold onto him, and they end up parking outside a place that is very familiar to them both.

“what are we doing here?” lance asks. he frowns at a large milkshake painted on the window. inside is the counter he’s has spent much of the last six months moping at.

keith checks over his shoulder. “i thought it would be rude to ask if you were coming here after, but if you wanted to, i figured it would be polite to drop you off.”

lance shoves keith in the side, laughing. “shut up, you bastard. you damn well know that this was a good date. take me home.”

keith obediently revs his motorcycle, and they take off together. over the roar of the bike and the wind, keith does not hear lance say, “the best date.”

they arrive back at lance’s house. lance is still awkward clambering off the bike, but its better this time. keith boots down the kickstand, and when he turns back up, lance is right there.

“the best date,” lance says, knowing full well that keith is going to hear him this time. he pulls off keith’s helmet, steps close, and keith only has a flash of realization for whats about to happen before lance kisses him.

“the best date,” keith agrees, awestruck.

“i’ll text you,” says lance.

“can’t wait,” says keith.

lance’s hands are still fisted in keiths jacket. “i think this is the part where you drive away.”

“or it’s the part where i ask if i can see you again. are you free this weekend?”

“if im not, i’ll move plans. count on it.” lance lets his hands fall. “you look good out of the apron, by the way.” he hands keith his helmet. “safety first. dont ruin your face, or i might not go out with you again.”

keith rolls his eyes. “its been a privilege.” he wants to kiss lance again. “see you friday.”

he starts his motorcycle, checks over his shoulder, and kicks off onto the road, leaving lance watching after him. he cant believe its only wednesday.

[red-stocking]

so like on one end of the spectrum you have the internet activist- they instigate debates with literal white supremacists or right-wingers in order to ‘expose’ how illogical they are on facebook or reddit or here on tumblr, who post links and type their opinions and point out how terrible the world is, who spread links to ‘for every like this gets, a homeless person gets a meal’ and who think they can make the world a better place with a click of the mouse. They are much more invested in being right, getting likes and followers than doing anything to further the cause. They think that the world will be a better place when everyone reads their manifesto and everyone will just stop being ‘illogical’.

on the other end, you have the performative activist- shows up to every protest, rally, town hall, and act of civil disobedience- ready to go with the t-shirt, buttons, bandanas, flags, face paint and jewelry- half of it made in sweatshops - and a defiant face they practiced in the mirror. Their theory consists of protest slogans screamed on the street, out of context, and nothing else, and they could not tell you what the context was for intersectionality when it was first used, who arent loking for a debat- just looking for a good time. Winning over other people to their cause with ideas is not a priority. Building an actual organization, reading theory and having patient discussions with other people is ‘the boring work’, and they only want to partake in the cool & fashionable parts of being an activist, getting their photo taken of them shouting with their fist up, or burning a flag.

this is sort of a rant i guess, but like im just seeing too many of these people. it just bothers me bc both of these extremes are just people with an inflated sense of importance and like- its not that i have a problem with people using activism to feel more important. dedicating yourself to a cause in order to feel like a part of something bigger is something i am 100% in favor of, hell, its a large part of my own activism! I like getting into debates online sometimes too & winning those debates, and i also appreciate protest ‘swag’ ok, i have a shirt that says ‘a woman’s place is in the revolution’ and i love it! I’m not saying activism can’t be fun, but thats not why you do it!

When its so entirely self-serving that you are no longer actually contributing? when you are actually hurting the cause you claim to support because either a) you come off as a condescending intellectual, or worse, a cyber-bully or b) you can’t articulate to anyone why your cause is worth fighting for and you make the other side look more reasonable. like, that ticks me off. it REALLY bothers me. These people are often, but not always, petty-bourgeoisie who have mostly been unaffected by politics & the class struggle and see the heightened political activity as a chance to show off and a trend. and if it was just a case of them not contributing anything i could probs shrug it off and roll my eyes but lately it seems like they are actually getting more in the way, making things that much harder for everyone.

this post has gone on long enough. just needed to vent some frustration about some locals who think they are More Radical Than Thou- i promise im not vague blogging anyone on here cuz i dont pay attention to anyones urls to notice any trends in someones specific behavior. in conclusion: ugh.