#as long as someone else does the presentation
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be-good-be-safe-be-kind ¡ 2 days ago
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no one's really asked, and i don't really like telling people about the different parts, but i do tend default to basics like these circles bc idk really how else to explain. and also i'm almost always on the fence with if i even have DID or not, even with all the symptoms and conversations with therapist and evaluators and 'proofs' after social events and stuff where hearing what happened, the reaction of 'i would not do that' and stuff.
approximate age and gender is the 'easiest' to pinpoint, since my overall concept of gender is just -shrug-, and gender presentation i don't really think about but there are things like 'oh this one likes when the hair is in a ponytail' or 'this one prefers short shorts to basketball shorts' (and someone else is the opposite in that regard), which might be easier to explain as gender for the sake of simplicity. age is more like a 'grade' level than an age, or a 'group' like anywhere under 5, or somewhere between 5 and 7/early schooling. 12ish to early/middle teenager, or vague age between 14 and 18. a couple of 'adults' with nothing more to go on except as a kid, they're whatever i guess i though an adult was like, and they're anywhere between always 5ish years above me or just 'adult'.
temperament and likes/dislikes, or interests/disinterests is a bit trickier, but this blog does help. i scroll through the dash and random blogs and sometimes things just stand out as someone's, so they get tagged and drafted, and then i use the drafts as a dash and if i feel like whoever and see something at the time, it usually gets posted then. the thing is though, idk even if i am them at the time or what the deal is but sometimes interests just 'speak' to me or not-me and i want it archived/ timestamped for that time. and also led to a bit of a panic attack a while ago where the ocean/waves sometimes feels more like a part than an interest, like there's more of a person attached to it kinda in the [ws] way and not in ways like with toys or tv.
the blue circle with the layers is a really helpful diagram bc i also am not usually thinking or feeling distinct. i mean i can recognize some distinctions like right now i'm able to use personal pronouns and complete sentences and not worry about how grammatically incorrect they are, which sorta points to a certain part/feeling/mode but idk. idk if this is more conscious or subconscious but i am aware of it right now and how these things aren't 'universal' / collective / communal things, but idk really what to do with that. i don't think it matters much, as long as i'm this 'awake' or whatever and know where i am and what's happening. the problem is more when there's awareness of distinctions but mostly confusion, like the times when i almost literally can't speak, like it feels physically impossible, and can't really move either and sorta wait it out or until i guess the other subconscious parts push forward more and break out of that mode?
life usually is kinda rainbow-y and blurry. although i have my circle kinda the opposite of this diagram i think, where the conscious layer is the outermost circle and the innermost one is unconscious, bc i feel like most of the time things move from the inside out than outside in? or like, there's a lot of unconscious stuff all the time, but maybe it sorta blurs with the subconscious, which then moves closer to consciousness/what presents to me and others/what i guess i look like on the outside. idk. i just know that language like 'fronting' confuses me bc i don't think i ever know who is the one entirely 'facing' the world.
and now i'm running out of steam and getting brain foggy so gonna call it a day with this one
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I made a thing that’s entirely based off personal experience.
For all the people who struggle to figure out “who’s fronting” or even “who’s around”…I’m right there with you.
[DID/OSDD Casually Explained Masterpost]
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ponderingmoonlight ¡ 14 hours ago
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And yet, you're here
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Pairing: Geto x fem!reader
Word Count: 2,8k
Synopsis: Years after Suguru left, you're still not able to get him off your mind. When he reappears years after his betrayal, the past collides with the present. Unexpected, in a way you didn't even dare to dream about.
Warnings: this isn't proofread 100%, the emotional rollercoaster you deserve, hurt to comfort big time, this is for all my geto girlies who deserve their happy ending
please please please make this go viral thank you
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„He’s a threat for the whole population!”
“We need to kill that brat before he kills all non-sorcerers.”
“I can’t believe someone like him was able to do something like…that.”
“So much wasted potential. Why does a special grade sorcerer act this way?”
“I thought he’s a nice boy.”
“So, you’re not one of those nice guys I guess.”
The sun already hung so low in the sky that you were barely able to see his soft features, let alone the surprised look that crept over his face while hearing those words coming from your mouth.
“Are you talking about me or Satoru?”
You let out one of those cute chuckles he adored so much, the kind he heard in his head on repeat even when you were long gone. Gosh, he couldn’t get enough of this. Those lonely nights with only you and a cigarette by his side, the countless hours he spent trying to understand you while it was his mind that slowly but surely fell apart.
“Nope, I’m always talking about you, Suguru.”
“What am I if not a nice guy, then?”
Sure, Satoru Gojo was his one and only best friend, but you were something else entirely: An unspoken bond that lived in the spaces between words, in glances that lingered just a moment too long. You weren’t a lover, not in the conventional sense, but you weren’t just a friend either. You were a mirror to his soul, the keeper of truths he couldn't bear to speak aloud, and the only person who could hold the weight of his silence without it breaking you both.
“You’re... complicated,” you finally replied, the word laced with warmth rather than judgment.
“You’re the kind of person who feels too much but hides it too well. The kind who would burn the world down if it meant saving the people you love. Not everyone understands that, but I do. Or at least I’m convinced I do.”
Suguru’s lips twitched into a faint smile, more melancholic than amused.
“Complicated, huh? That’s one way to put it.”
“And dangerous,” you added lightly, the hint of a smile in your voice.
“But not in the way they think. Not to me.”
His expression softened, the darkness in his eyes easing for just a moment as he stared at you.
“Not to you,” he echoed, as though testing the words on his tongue, letting them sink into the cracks of his fraying soul.
Till this day, that one last conversation both of you had on that lonely bench still haunts him. The way you looked at him back then, as if you’d already knew that you might never see him again, as if you just counted the hours until he goes berserk.
What are you thinking about him now?
Is he still on your mind?
Are you hating him the way Satoru does?
“You’re thinking about her again, don’t you?”
Fuck. He thought about you.
Again.
Suguru lets out a sharp exhale, the sound halfway between a sigh and a laugh, bitter enough to sting his own ears. How pathetic he has to look to the people surrounding him. When he walked down this path, he knew that he’ll have to do it without you, that he won’t be able to see you again. And yet…
Losing you seems to hurt more than anything else.
 “Of course I am,” he admits to his assistant, his voice low and rough like gravel underfoot.
“Not like I can help it. She’s everywhere, even when she’s not. It’s ridiculous.”
There it is again, your face ghosting through his mind. Other than Satoru and Shoko, you never really tried to find him. If you wanted to, you would, right? Maybe you’re too mad at him for all the things he’s done. Or maybe you already forgot about him.
 “But it doesn’t matter, does it? She’s gone. Just like everything else.”
For a moment, he closes his eyes, trying to drown out the memories, the sound of your laugh, the way your voice softened when you said his name, the weight of your eyes on him as if you could see through all the lies he told himself. He’d burn every memory if he could, let them smolder in the same fire that consumed the rest of his life.
“Besides. She’d hate me now, just like everyone else. Maybe she was just waiting for me to turn into the monster she saw coming.”
“Stop stewing in these thoughts, that doesn’t matter anymore. We’re expecting another bunch of monkeys in half an hour.”
But even as she said it, the words tasted wrong. It shouldn’t matter that he can still feel the warmth of your gaze, your unwavering belief in him, and yet it cuts deeper than any accusation ever could. Suguru shakes his head while straightening his shoulders, eyes locked onto Manami in front of him in order to force you off his mind.
“Doesn’t matter,” he repeats, his voice barely above a whisper, as though trying to convince himself.
“It’s too late for that now. So, where’s the monkeys?”
“Why did I know I’d find you here?”
His voice startles you, making you jump slightly. You turn to see none other than Satoru Gojo standing there, hands in his pockets, his white hair catching the fading sunlight. The sunglasses perched on his nose don’t quite hide the sharp edge in his expression he usually wears around you.
“Because I’m always here, I guess,” you reply softly, your tone as tired as the circles under your eyes appear.
“And I told you to stop a long time ago,” Satoru bites back, his voice bitter, cutting.
“The Suguru you knew… he’s gone.”
The weight of his words lands hard, though they’re not new. He’s said them before, with the same venom in his voice, every time you bring up Suguru or the past.
“I know. I’ve always known.”
“Then why do you keep punishing yourself? Dropping out of Jujutsu High when everyone needed you didn’t bring him back. Hiding out here doesn’t change anything, y’know?”
“It wasn’t about bringing him back, Satoru,” you snap, your voice sharper than you intend.
“It was about… letting him go. You wouldn’t understand.”
“Try me,” he challenges, stepping closer.
“I’ve spent years watching people destroy themselves over things they can’t fix. I know the look in your eyes - you miss him. You always have. But you didn’t even try to stop him when he turned his back on us.”
You flinch, his words hitting a nerve.
“Because it wasn’t my place. I wasn’t like you, Gojo. I wasn’t his best friend. I wasn’t strong enough to drag him back kicking and screaming or to stand in his way. All I could do was… let him live the way he decided to. I thought… maybe if I stayed behind, if I didn’t follow him, he’d understand that I believed in him, that I trust him and his actions, the path he chooses. That I’d be here if he ever wanted to come back.”
Satoru’s shoulders tense, his jaw tightening. He never understood. Until this day, he never wrapped his head around the fact that you didn’t try to stop his best friend back then. You, who had more power over Suguru than himself.
God, how much he hates that disgusting truth until now.
“And look where that got you,” he mutters.
You look away, your hands gripping the edge of the bench for support.
“I never expected to see him again, Satoru. I didn’t think I’d matter enough to him for that.”
The silence between you stretches thin, brittle as glass.
“Do you think he hates me?” you ask, your voice barely audible.
“For staying behind? For not going after him?”
Gojo doesn’t answer, which is answer enough. You know he blames you, at least a little, for what happened. For not doing more. For leaving everything to him. For allowing Suguru to turn his back on Jujutsu High.
“Suguru hating you? Never. I bet he still thinks about you every damn day”, Satoru mutters under his breath before turning on his heels and leaving you standing in the rain.
Suguru, still thinking about you? You shake your head vehemently, not allowing that absurd thought into your brain. If he would miss you, he’d visit you, right? In all those years, he never lifted a finger in order to find you.
You were right there. In your small apartment, at jujutsu high.
Maybe he forgot about you after all.
“Me? Forgetting you? I’d never be able to do that, (y/n).”
Maybe some promises are meant to be broken.
-a few evenings later-
You’ve drank too much.
You always do when Shoko isn’t with you, when no one’s around to watch you. But even though you emptied a whole bottle of liqueur on your own, you still aren’t able to forget him. Fuck, his face is glued onto your mind like a second skin, never leaves you even though you drink enough to forget your own name.
Will it always feel like this? Will that ache ever go away?
“What are you thinking about, handsome?”
“Something I’ve lost some while ago”, you mumble, absently swirling your glittery cocktail around.
“That’s a bummer.”
You don’t even gift the random stranger next to you a look, the guy who smells like cheap cigarettes so vehemently that you feel like throwing up.
Maybe it’s time to call it a day.
“Yeah. Whatever.”
You spring back onto your feet, the alcohol vibrating through your veins. You were never much of a drinker back then, only shared a cigarette with Suguru from time to time. But this became your only way to numb the pain. At least for a few hours, at least for some time.
The cold air of the night hits your face like a wall. Even though it’s far past midnight, the city buzzes in street light, laughter and cries. And yet, all you’re able to think about is him again. His laugh, his voice, the way he used to look at you when he thought no one else was watching. Is it wrong to long for him? Is it disgusting that you couldn’t care less about the things he’s done those past years, about what he’d become?
You shake your head, trying to dispel the thoughts, but they cling to you, stubborn and relentless. Why can’t you just stop? Stop longing for something that will never happen, stop running after a person who is long gone? Suguru won’t come back, you won’t just meet him on a random street-
The click of footsteps catches your attention. Heavy, yet elegant footsteps across the still busy street.
At first, you think it’s just another stranger wandering through the city’s darkened streets. But something about the rhythm - steady, purposeful - sets your nerves on edge. Something about this feels familiar.
You glance up, your heart skipping a beat as your gaze meets a pair of familiar dark brown eyes.
Suguru Geto.
The world around you blurs, the sounds of the city fading into silence. It’s him, unmistakably him. His hair is longer than you remember, strands sticking to his face from what looks like rain, or maybe it’s sweat. Blood splatters ruin his clothes and the sharp line of his jaw, painting a stark, gruesome picture paired with those cold orbs. His expression is unreadable, but his eyes… they’re searching, watching your every move.
You should run, or scream, or yell at him – at least something that shows him what he put you through.
Anything.
He’s the same man who left you, who walked away from everything, from you. He, who didn’t even tell you about his true feelings, who didn’t care about the consequences of his actions, who didn’t even ask you to join. All those miserable nights you imagined him sitting next to you on that bench, the bottles of alcohol you’ve drank just to forget his name. He needs to pay for it, needs to know what he did to you by leaving you behind.
But instead, your feet move of their own accord, closing the distance between you in an instant.
Before he can react, you throw your arms around him so, pulling him into a tight embrace.
Suguru freezes, his body stiff against yours. He doesn’t move, doesn’t speak, as if the sheer force of your presence has left him powerless. You bury your face against his chest, not caring about the blood, the grime, or the hurricane of questions swirling in your mind. All you care about is the fact that he’s here, alive, and solid beneath your touch. You can feel him – not only in your dreams, but for real.
Suguru is here.
He’s alive.
He’s right between your arms.
The scent of him - familiar, though tinged with something darker - fills your senses, dragging you back into a world you thought you’d never touch again. Tears sting your eyes, but you bite them back, unwilling to let them fall.
“Suguru,” you whisper, your voice trembling.
Finally, he moves. His arms lift hesitantly, then wrap around you with a force that knocks the air out of your lungs. He holds you like he’s afraid you’ll disappear any given minute, his grip firm and desperate. His head dips slightly, and for a moment, you think you feel him trembling too.
“What are you doing?”
His voice is rough, low, almost broken.
“I don’t know,” you admit, your voice muffled against his chest.
“I just… I missed you.”
He pulls back just enough to look at you, his dark eyes scanning your face as if trying to memorize every detail.
“You shouldn’t be here,” he mutters, his tone a mixture of regret and warning.
“Neither should you,” you counter, your gaze unwavering.
Suguru’s lips twitch, almost forming a smile, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. He lifts a hand, his fingers brushing against your cheek as though testing if you’re real.
“You should hate me.”
“Maybe I should,” you reply, your voice steady despite the storm raging inside you.
God, you’re so furious at him. Mad because he ran away, mad because he left you standing in the rain.
Mad because this is actually the first time Suguru Geto hugged you.
“But I don’t. I guess I could never hate you.”
His expression falters, the mask he’s worn for so long cracking just enough to reveal the man beneath. The one you knew, the one you loved in a way you never fully understood. And for the first time since leaving everything behind, he feels that small ray of sunshine taking in his heart again.
“You don’t know what I’ve done, what I’ve become. I was so sure you’ll hate me like everyone else.”
“I know enough. And I don’t care. You’re still Suguru Geto, aren’t you?”
He exhales sharply, the sound almost like a laugh, though there’s no humor in it. You, not caring about the fact that he ended countless lives out of his own fulfilment? You, a jujutsu sorcerer who always protected those monkeys?
“You’re too good for this,” he bites back, shaking his head.
“Too good for me.”
“Don’t decide that for me,” you snap, surprising even yourself with your suddenly so sharp tone.
“You don’t get to make that choice. You already did when you left without saying goodbye”
The silence between you stretches, heavy with unspoken words. You’re right and he knows it. But… Was it really a possibility to take you with him back then? Was there a tiny chance that you…would have joined him?
Slowly, he leans his forehead against yours, his eyes closing as though seeking comfort in your presence. No, he doesn’t want to think this through. Not right now. Not when he feels your heart pound against his body, not when you’re this close to him for the very first time.
“I thought I’d never see you again,” he admits, his voice barely a whisper.
“I told myself it was better that way.”
“And yet you’re here,” you point out softly.
“And yet I’m here,” he echoes, his lips curving into a faint, bitter smile.
For a moment, it’s just the two of you. No blood, no curses, no jujutsu, no past or future. Just the weight of the present, fragile and fleeting. And for now, that’s enough.
For now, simply holding the man you thought you’ve lost forever on a random street is more than enough to make you feel whole again.
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cozymochi ¡ 8 hours ago
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Does Emilio have his signature spell? If so, what does it do?
Of COURSE he does. AND SORRY ABOUT THE WALL OF TEXT.
Emilio’s signature spell/unique magic:
“This is True”
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Allows him to truthfully answer almost any question asked of him about the person asking. He functions as something of an oracle.
While it grants Emilio a level of all-knowingness, it is limited in scope with many stipulations.
• “This is True” can only provide answers that relate to the person asking, not about anyone else nor matters outside of the person asking. So, he isn’t exactly useful in terms of trying to get dirt on others via his magic. He cannot do that. And he can’t ask the questions.
• There must be physical contact with him and the person asking the question. Palm-to-palm is his go-to, but it doesn’t seem to matter.
• Emilio‘s magic will not allow him to hide the truth once he has received a proper answer to a question, whether he or the receiver likes the answer or not.
• A person can as ask as many questions about their past and present as they like (within reason, obviously not in a single round). It will always be true. He can tell you things about yourself that you may have forgotten about like a memory, or where you left your keys. Whatever one can think of so long as it’s about themselves.
• A person may ask about their future, but they only can ask one question and receive one answer. Once someone ask a question about their future in any capacity they cannot ask Emilio any question about their future ever again. Period. So don’t waste it, or don’t ask. The future is far too uncertain, but his answer will always be a true one out of many possibilities. Besides, he doesn’t like doing it!!
It is currently unknown how much his magic will evolve, if at all. The limited scope makes his magic accumulate little blot, though it can accumulate much faster if it’s about the future. Yay for caps.
Note: The spell name is Esteban’s catchphrase. Emilio’s magic inspiration is primarily derived from Esteban’s habit of warning people and predicting events that nobody around him heeds, and usually being right. In Elena of Avalor, that kinda sets off his weird betrayal flip-flopping villain arc he never commits to. Emilio’s magic also doubles as a reference to the Oracle in Aladdin and The King of Thieves which I only realized after the fact. Neat.
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a-couple-of-notes ¡ 2 days ago
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What are your thoughts on poly coven and if you do have have any what would the dynamic be?
You folks really want that Agatha All Along fic about all the different dynamics, don't you? 😂😂😂 (Referencing this ask--although I suppose I have no way of knowing whether this is the same anon. Thank you for the ask regardless!)
I enjoy poly coven, although I haven't read much of it! In my mind, there are two general ways to approach this: one where Billy functions as their non-romantic glue (the Billy-has-seven-moms approach) and one (more interesting imo) where we nix Billy altogether and let it be a true dumpster fire.
Billy Has Seven Moms:
The single thing they all agree on (no one believes Agatha when she equivocates, and Rio doesn't snarl about it, which is as close to agreement as they'll get) is that the kid comes first.
Agatha and Jen both provide a practical kind of mentorship: technical magical study, potion-making, spells. They snark at each other during lessons ("What happened to 'presenting a united front'?" says Agatha) and if Jen doesn't back off, Alice, Billy, or Lilia step in to stop it from going all the way downhill. Agatha and Jen fuck it out later.
Lilia mentors Billy in history, tarot, and witch culture--all the soft skills that Agatha and Jen aren't proficient in. She enjoys the quiet respect that all of the coven, but especially Billy and Alice, holds for her. She and Alice trade off nights cooking; Lilia's go-to recipes are old Sicilian favorites.
Alice is Billy's Normal Stable Person (TM), a fact that at one point sends Alice into a panic spiral that Agatha and Jen have to drag her out of. She's the one Billy comes to when he needs someone who understands what it's like to be a kid on your own--when he's having a tough time with someone else in the coven, when he's feeling overwhelmed by the sheer number of mothers in his life. Alice teaches him guitar, and then, very hesitantly, protection spells passed down to her from Lorna.
Rio mopes around like a disgruntled housecat, never quite looking at Billy. The only time she does is when Billy announces he wants to make a Sharon Davis memorial garden. She doesn't help, of course, not in any way that Billy sees. But she does watch.
Of course, this well-oiled mentorship program works only as long as Billy is with them on the timeshare schedule. As soon as he's gone, it's like a ghost house with five roommates who hate each other's guts. If they still have separate places of residence, they all leave (except for the times when Jen is so annoyed with Agatha they bang first). If they actually do live in the same house, they all go into their separate rooms.
Then they seek each other out in pairs or trios, depending on what they want. Alice and Jen seek each other out when they want a normal date night; Rio seeks Lilia when she wants to talk shop about the old days; Agatha seeks Alice when it's been a hard day and she wants someone to be quiet about it. (Although let's be real: if Agatha's seeking someone out, it's also usually to fuck.)
Sometimes these pairs have a good time together; other times it turns into a fight that someone else cleans up. Lilia keeps count.
The only time the whole coven joins together sans Billy is when there's a threat. Usually to Agatha. Sometimes (futilely) to Rio. It always ends in massive property damage and murder, and there's an 80% chance the five of them have messy wow-we're-all-still-our-version-of-alive-sex afterward.
Agatha makes lots of divorce jokes.
No Billy, Just Chaos:
It's worse.
You know, I'm not even gonna bulletpoint this out because it's slowly growing into its own fic idea, but--in a poly coven where there's no Billy, everything happens a lot quicker and dirtier. (This is also because it veers wildly off-canon, and we're dealing with these characters before they've arced out. You know, the nasty, messy versions of them.)
Of course there's still got to be something forcing them together--soulmarks! Billy dies in episode 4 and leaves them in a crumbling Road illusion! The Salem Seven invade Westview and they all pick the same hiding spot!--but the thing keeping them together would not then be a kid. It would not be someone with a good heart they all care about. It would be one of Agatha's freakishly charismatic cons, utter fear, or a combination of both. Thus, everyone would spiral toward their most feral selves fast.
To wit: Jen and Agatha skip straight to the hate sex, Rio gets amused and jealous and jumps in. Alice, having no kid to protect, focuses her efforts on Lilia (the coven's elder) and Agatha (the coven's leader). This brings Alice directly into the snare that is Rio/Agatha/Jen, becoming--if we're being kind--their right hand and--if we're being truthful--their pet. Lilia considers herself above this weird fucked-up power tangle, but she and Rio have centuries of history, and Rio is almost as good as Agatha at annoying people into making bad decisions. It would be terrible. It would be glorious.
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min-play ¡ 4 months ago
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the only art kid in class
Animation by Isabella Spagnolo Voiced by AB
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theygender ¡ 2 years ago
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Idk how many of y'all watch Good Mythical Morning but I just want to say that as a gnc person it makes me so happy to see Chase get to dress however he wants and have it just be normal. The crop top he always wears during international food taste tests isn't treated as weird, that's just his cartographer shirt, and it's become such a signature look that other people have to wear it while filling in for him. He plays a few female characters that wear dresses, but the fact that he's playing a woman or wearing a dress is never treated like a joke. The actual joke is that the character he's playing is a fancy dancing cow or an alternate universe version of Little Debbie named Giant Deborah who can teleport across dimensions if you chant for her. The dress is just part of the character, and Chase just happens to be comfortable wearing dresses and really good at playing funny characters. Idk, it just makes me feel really happy to see another gnc person out there thriving and living their best life. I've always been hesitant about being out as nonbinary at work bc I didn't think it would be possible for people to just treat it like a normal thing, and recently I've been worried that once I graduate college and go on to more "professional" work my future employers may see my gender nonconformity as unprofessional, which scares me bc it's not even possible for me to conform to any gender expectations anymore. But. Here on one of my favorite YouTube channels there's a gnc person who gets to dress however they want for their job, even having roles where their gender nonconformity is important to the videos, and it's just treated like the most normal thing in the world. If that's possible then maybe the idea of finding a research job that will respect me isn't so far fetched
#good mythical morning#rambling#idk i just get emotional sometimes#as someone whos worried that even gender nonconformity would be viewed as unprofessional in my future field and frowned upon#regardless of whether i would be interacting with the public#seeing someone whos able to be as gnc as they want at a job where theyre being FILMED for the public and posted to an audience#really does kinda give me hope that i can find acceptance one day#its really cool that stevie presents in a gnc way too sometimes but shes not on camera as much#but idk. it just makes me feel happy#im watching the international foods taste test they posted today and chase is wearing an even shorter crop top under his cartographer shirt#and i was just like HELL yeah you GO king!!#as someone whos been watching the show for a long time and has also seen a lot of old episodes from before i started watching#i like seeing how much more confident chase is now that he dresses how he wants to as well#in a lot of the old videos he dressed very much like a stereotypical straight boy and he seemed a lot more shy and timid back then#now you can just tell how happy he is. he seems so confident in himself and he contributes so much to the show now#idk. i want that one day. i hope i can find a stable career where I'll be accepted for who i am#instead of having to pretend to be something else or worry about what people are thinking of me if i dont#my job now is definitely better than some of my old ones but i still dont really know what people think of me now that im somewhat out#and spending 40 hours a week walking on egg shells with your own damn existence isnt fun :( but. maybe its not forever. i hope
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inkskinned ¡ 5 months ago
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somewhere out there someone has probably used AI to write their wedding vows. someone out there is probably loading their hinge profile with AI quippy responses. when i close my eyes i picture a man hunting through chatGPT prompts, trying to get someone else to love him. maybe she sends him back chatGPT too, and two robots fall in love.
is this our new lives, then? is love scripted? i have a dandelion heart and some part of me wants to believe that AI will not obtain self-reliance by evil but instead by discovering the single perfect shape of love - the one thing humanity (in all our time and force) could never quite nail down. maybe it will be a string of numbers. the imprint of static, the universe's thumbprint. maybe it will just be a single long mirror, and jam dripping down your hands.
i know there are "good" reasons. i was nervous! or i was unsure how to say it! but - i want your nervous words. i want your unsure words. i want you to strike entire pages of work for me. i want you to gesture vaguely, to ransack your mind for ways to instead-of-saying just show me. i want to find where your words fail you and where the summer of your longing blazes out of you, infinite, resisting the capture of definition.
and i want to do the same for you. isn't any love worth a little bit of struggle? i want to shiver with the movie-ripe sense my friends are lovely and i am so tender towards them - i want to never quite be able to explain what it means to spend my life with them. i want to draw shapes on your skin that exit the geometric and fade into the same, wordless pattern. it is still love if silent. you know - i rarely, if ever, actually tell my siblings i love them? i just show up often, and hope the action does the talking.
i know AI is "easier". of course. buttoned up and seamlessly corporate. but i do not want to love you through a film. i do not want to love you with your edges sanded down. i cannot recognize myself in you if you are unmarred and glistening. something about how, with the crystal-clear mp3 files of the present, we ache for the scratch of vinyl. the flaws are what make love worth it. i want the raw and the windbeaten and the unkempt.
something tender, then. i love you because you're real, which means that you cannot be perfect.
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venmondiese ¡ 4 months ago
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LITTLE BOX FULL OF SURPRISES
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masterlist ✧works in procress ✧ AO3
based on this request⭑.ᐟ
-ˋˏsummary: The maimed one-eyed prince marries the most beautiful woman on earth. She is dutiful, beautiful and perfect, but Aemond can't stand when someone, specially his uncle, look with desire at what it is his. ✧Pairing: Aemond Targaryen x Tully!Original Female Character ✧word count: 3.1k ✧Warnings: : MDNI 18+, p in v sex, dom/sub undertones, face slapping, spitting on the mouth, degradation kink, possesive Aemond, Aemond is WHIPPED by his wife.
Every time his grandsire and his mother spoke of a Lady of great beauty coming to King’s landing, he rolled his eye. 
Even when they present a small portrait, small to fit his palm, he does not seem impressed. Perhaps it is too small, perhaps it is too pretentious. Either the painter exaggerated your features or he couldn’t properly paint a small portrait. But he was curious, after all. Named the most beautiful woman on earth, blessed by the Gods. 
He doesn’t doubt that Lady Tully was beautiful. Perhaps she was truly a beautiful woman, with her long red hair, ‘like fire’ said the letter. But being called The Maiden on Earth seems exaggerated to him.
His grandsire had told them about the implications of his betrothal, about how important it was to have secured the Riverlands, since Grover Tully was an old lord, and will not understand reason. To have his most beloved granddaughter as a princess, was the only way to win his approval, and support. 
Aemond finally meets her on the little garden near the Weirwood tree. They had been serving little cakes, as some lords and ladies talked nearby, not even half of court was here, and he liked the quietness. That made him less self-conscious.
She was near the table, her hand hovering above all the treats she could get, smiling as she watches them with interest. She is expressive, he realises. He hasn’t seen her face, only her back and the day her hand moves and her head is tilted, curious about the southern gastronomy.
 “My lady” Aemond says softly. 
She turns so gracefully, and she is surprised to see him. Her hand still extended, and she quickly moves it to grab her skirts, and do a courtesy to him. She has a sweet smile, and she speaks. 
 “My prince” she says, a bit surprised. “I… I didn’t expect you.”
“I must admit I came a bit earlier than agreed…” he murmurs, looking behind him and then back to her.
The most beautiful maiden on earth fell short to her. She was… something else, in the best way possible. She had that curiosity, that life in her eyes, as she smiles at him, her lips are perfect, and he could see that her maids probably used those Myrish lip taints, for they were a very natural red colour, almost matching with her hair. Her dress was magnificent, wearing the colour of her house, red and blue decorating everything. Even her eyes, blue like the opaque blue rivers in the Riverlands, and her hair, red like flames, matched with her house colours. She wore fish details, her earrings and in her dress pattern. But she was wearing a collar with a seven pointed star in it, and he sighed at her beauty. She was breathtaking.
“Oh, well, so it seems…” she says as she smiles a bit sheepishly, looking at him. “It’s a fine castle, my prince. It does have its own beauty.” 
Aemond has never thought of the red Keep as something beautiful, at all. He always wanted to live in Dragonstone, but his wish was not granted.  But, if she says so, it must be true, and with good reason.
“You think so?” 
She grabs a lemon cake, and eats it carefully as she nods. “Yes! And you also have a Weirwood tree here. When we made our trip here, we passed through Raventree, and their Weirwood was a bit… depressing…” she says, smiling sweetly. “But here it’s very beautiful. More… alive”
As she talks, he watches her closely. Even when his mother, his sickly father and his siblings arrive, when his mother gives him a scolding look for arriving earlier, he sort of watches you in silence, his chest swelling with an air of mystery. 
“You are not what I expected” he admits, quietly between the two of them as their parents talked about the betrothal.
“No?” She asks smiling, licking her finger from the cream of the lemon cakes. “You’ll see I’m a little box full of surprises” 
That’s the beginning.
A ceremony on the Sept, as she stood next to him, reciting vows and the cloak with dragon sigils is on her shoulders, left behind the fish one. Aemond has never looked so smug and proud. The bedding ceremony was… traditional. Having a crowd was awkward for both, surely, but Aemond made it all more comfortable for her, covering her body with his, and not exposing her, at his own expense.
“Just focus on me” He murmurs closely to her face, as she looks at him with wide eyes. He was between her open legs, and he insisted for her to keep her chemise on, while he had no problem in nudity “Your septa and mother could have told you…”
“Not much” She whispers back.
“Not much” he repeats, moving a strand of hair out other face, tenderly watching her face for discomfort. “But I will be gentle, and… we’ll learn together. Yes?”
“Yes. Thank you…, husband” she says, and he feels a prideful pressure on his chest. He was her husband. The most beautiful woman’s husband. 
And she was always thankful for his patience and gentleness towards her, and she stuck to him to all times, even when she was in court, charming everyone around. Her arm was always interlocked with his, and referred to him as ‘her sweet husband’. 
Love came quieter than expected, as they laughed on their bed at nights, having picnics in the gardens or going to the Riverlands in Vhagar together, swimming on Riverrun’s rivers, and just… enjoying each other. It was more than love when they had their first son, a lovely and happy baby, mismatched eyes, with both purple and a deep blue. Aemond adored his son, his little Daerion, and he adored you more.
“Black looks well on you” Aemond comments. 
Daerion’s blabbing was a way to agree with Aemond’s statement as the maid finished putting on her headband, the same tone of her dress. Her orange hair is in braids, two simple ones with some gold details on them, and some dragon earrings that he gifted her. She was gorgeous, and all his. 
“Your wardrobe hasn’t changed” she states looking at him. “Went from velvet black to dark black” 
Aemond walks over to his wife, watching her being just so beautiful like that, sitting, waiting peacefully like a porcelain doll.
“Mhm... As if changing colours would make everything amicable…” Aemond murmurs, taking Daerion in his arms, and he allows him to play with his hair. “Does father know it’s useless? Rhaenyra wearing green won’t change anything, nor will my mother wearing black. HIs voice comes as a grunt as he bounces their baby. 
“It’s foolish when you put it that way” her voice is tender, sweet, and somewhat like velvet. He is still besotted by her, as maidens do with knights. He watches the shape of her breasts on that dress, how the cleavage is so delightful for his eyes and the roundness of her tits that make the fabric around stretch a bit. As if the tailor always got the measurement of her chest wrong on purpose, which he won’t complain about. 
Her bright red hair contrasts with how the black makes her skin look paler, and her eye colour deeper.
“They shouldn’t call you the Maiden herself anymore” Aemond murmurs softly, walking closer to her, still holding Daerion in his arms. “You are like the mother herself. Like the Goddess Syrax of Old Valyria. Beautiful, strong… so alluring…”
“You never seem to run out of compliments” her hands move to grab her rings, and the one he likes the most is the sapphire one, just to symbolise her marriage to him. 
“Never, more so if a goddess like you is my wife. All mine…”
“My prince, my lady.” It’s a Kings guard who interrupts. “Supper is ready, and Queen Alicent asks for you both to arrive earlier…”
“Hm” Aemond says, leaving Daerion in the wet nurse’s arms.
“Thank you, ser Willis” the knight smiles at his wife before walking to wait outside the door.
He rolls his eye as he leans to kiss his son’s forehead, caressing his chubby cheek and he smiles fondly at his sight. The little freckles he has that he inherited from his mother, something that Aemond loved. Yet remembering how unnecessary kind his wife is… annoys him.
Kindness and sweetness only helped to enhance her beauty and popularity, and he also loved that. She was beautiful, perfect in any way, tied to a One-Eyed maimed monster, like him. All he could offer to you, that it was worthy, was the luxuries of the royalty, all the kids you want and his unconditional love. He was at your mercy.
He has one eye, but he is not blind. Any man here on the keep, would pull their breeches down if his wife asked so. They would even cut their own throats for her mere delight, and Aemond would be one of them. 
“Goodbye, my sweet love” the sweet motherly tone makes little Daerion squeal happily, extending his little arms for his mother. She kisses both his hands, later to wave to him as they leave the room, arms interlocked.
Aemond always bites his tongue when his lady wife is kind to men. He hates it, yet he knows she does it for the kindness of her heart, and not any ulterior motives.
He was smitten for her, moving the chair for her to sit, and helping her, her dress not getting stuck anywhere or her headpiece, and only then, he sat on his own seat at peace.
“I heard they might have some goose” she murmurs to him, as the room fills. Her fingers caress his arm, and he hears her every word. “I’d eat it all if I could, you know” she teases.
“Mhm.” Aemond murmurs. Even if he is besotted, his facade is still the same; stoic, cold, distant. Yet to her, his gaze was always loving.
“I would only share it with you” she states proudly, leaning to give him a peck on the lips, before standing up once the King is brought to the room.
As he stands, he doesn’t miss how his uncle watches her. Aemond might not know the man personally, but he knew the look of desire in a man’s face. Much more when they looked at her 
The supper is mostly… tense, and awkward. But Lady Tully is charming to everyone and even toasts as well for Baela and Rhaena in their betrothal, congratulating them and speaking nothing but wonders about her own married life, making Aemond wear the slightest, yet most smug smirk on his face.
“Amazing” she says, with her mouth full as she eats the goose, and Aemond nods, a hand rubbing her back so she doesn’t choke for eating so quickly. “Here, my love” she says, extending the fork with a bit of the goose that she adores so much. 
Aemond eats shamelessly, enjoying the taste as he nods softly, approving, which makes her smile. His hand resting on the back of her chair, as he drank his wine quietly, watching his sister and nephew go to dance together. He is highly unaware of the prying eyes that watch them both.
Helaena and Jacaerys’ giggles and the movement of her dress is enough for lady Tully to watch curiously. Her husband was not one for dances, as he had not a good perception of objects with one eye. She never pressured him, and accepted the fact. 
She always would say how Daerion once he would be tall enough to walk, she’d dance with her son all the songs and dances, and Aemond approved that idea. 
“Lady Tully” It was Daemon Targaryen’s deep voice, and she looks at him a bit surprised, leaving her fork on the table as she covers her mouth, her hand unconsciously fetching wine, which Aemond hands her his. 
“Prince Daemon” her melodic voice is a bit confused, and more so when the uncle of her husband extends his hand. The green fabrics from his suit are deep, yet he still wore dragon details on it, and he looked smug about it.
She turns to watch Aemond, his jaw tensing as he looks at Daemon. And he has to physically stop himself from cutting his uncle’s throat when his wife walks with him to join Helaena and the bastard. Aegon and he share a look, both upset and annoyed, as their wives are so freely dancing with other men. 
Aemond watches her beautiful face, frowning as Daemon talks about something, whispering it closely so no one else hears it. His grip on the edge of his seat is strong; knuckles’ turning white as his jaw is tense, not looking pleased at all. And then, he hears her warm laugh, giggling at what he said, as her whole face brightened up.
Once they serve the pig in front of him and hear the little bastard giggles, it is enough to send him through a fit of rage. 
He literally drags his wife by the arm after everything went downhill, after saying that stupid toast, after the Velaryon’s boys attempt to defend themselves (very badly) and both her husband and her good brother humiliate them.
“Dancing with him” Aemond murmurs, walking to their shared chambers, not minding seeing the servants stop and look at them both. “Accepting it, and giggling to his jokes as he shamelessly flirts with you” 
“It was politeness...” her voice is weak when protesting.
“Did he mocked me for having only one eye?” He asks roughly. “Did he told you how beautiful your are and how full your breasts are?”
She opens her mouth a bit taken aback by his lewds remarks. “I am dutiful to what it’s expected of me. I wouldn't have allowed him to mock you”
“You should…”
“My family’s words are Family. Duty. Honour. And you know I care for that very deeply.” she says as she tries to keep up with his long steps “And I did just what was asked…”
“You are mine” he states, walking inside his chambers as his grip does nothing but become stronger. “My wife and you are… putting yourself in display for my uncle, laughing at his flirting. I know your family words are important for you, but this is… beyond that”
Perhaps it was her confused eyes or her angelic face, but he loosened up his grip yet he kept talking. 
“He wanted you! To have you below him and fuck you like a… wench or… or some kind of…”
“I know” 
Aemond turns drastically, eye twitching at his wife's words.
“You knew?”
“It was being cordial. It was duty. To amend broken ties…”
“I will break and burn and turn into ashes any ties from you to him” he says exasperated, insane with jealousy. His eye is wide, twitching in rage as he cannot believe this. She was his wife. 
Seeing Daemon’s hand grip on her hip, almost groping her, made him insane. Because he knew that Lady Tully, beautiful as the Maiden, a beloved goddess amongst the poor and rich, could do so much better than him. Yet, she still chooses him.
“Get naked” he says simply.
“What?”
“You heard me just right. Get. Naked.” He says again, not wanting a negative. 
Her whine is endearing, as she starts taking off little by little. Her gown, the diminutive buttons at the back, her collar, and her hellish headpiece.
“Let me” he grumbles as he helps her take off the headpiece, tossing it aside more carefully.
She is possibly the most beautiful when she is naked. Round breasts, even fuller thanks to lactating, and her body was tempting enough to anyone. 
“Undress me” he says instead. He took delight when she was the one serving him, in this way. He loved to see her desperation, her eagerness for him. His jerkin is out in no time, and she kneels to undo his breeches.
Because she had an angelic face, but it was only he who knew how obsessed she was with his cock. She could spend hours lying on the bed, sucking his cock as she rested her head on his abdomen as Aemond read. She wouldn’t even suck him off properly, his wife would only suck the tip, give kitten licks, and lazily press some kisses. During hours and hours. 
“I forbid you to speak to any one of them. Ever again” 
Confused eyes turned up to look at him, as the careful hands undid his breeches, almost a bit eagerly. “Forbid?”
“Hm. It’s what I said, is it not?” He says, narrowing his eye as if asking to be defied. 
“But it’s mad” she protests, frowning. “I promised Jace and Baela a tour in the gardens, and it would be impolite if I didn’t spoke-”
“Too bad” his voice cuts the conversation, and he is not leaving it up for conversation. 
“You are being irrational...”
“And you are being a fucking brat” he spats, grabbing her chin as he bites his lower lip. “I’ll show you how irrational I can get”
Her eyes watched him, almost too innocent for her own good. It made him hard; he could feel his cock stirring on his untied breeches. 
“Fucking slut, giving yourself to other men” his tone is harsh, but by the way her knees move, to accommodate the weight as he grips her chin, he knows that she is aroused. So is he.
Lady Tully was beautiful, and a box of surprises with everything, he realised with time. He had everyone trapped under her charms, and kept her secrets very private. And he loved it.
“Whore.”  His hand leaves her chin, only to move it to slap her across the face. 
She gasps, her face turned. It wasn’t harsh, yet the sting was burning on her skin, as she placed a hand on her cheek. To foreign eyes, he just slapped his wife. But he has done it before, to her request. Aemond knew that if his wife was enraged by that, he would have been beaten over and over, because she was kind, but didn’t stand for people dishonouring her. 
Aemond, more gently places his hand back on her chin, pulling it so she can look at him. “You will learn your place” Aemond says, as she looks up at him, with those meek eyes of hers. He loved her eyes. “Open your mouth”
 He leaned down, his mouth opening over hers, so near that she could feel his hot breath. His hand goes to wrap the bright red hair of hers, and his firm grip got her head secured. 
Perhaps Aemond would kiss those perfect lips, yet he pulled back and released a strand of saliva directly into her waiting mouth. Aemond’s fingers tightened the grip in her hair, as his other hand came up to wipe away the excess of spit. 
“There is my good girl” he murmurs, looking at her. “Mhm. I’m going to teach you a lesson” 
Aemond lifts his wife to her feet as if she weighs nothing, his grip on her hair almost dragging her to the bed, forcefully as he heard her little whines. He had a moment or two to decide which position suited best, for then to grab her hips and guide her to be on her hands and knees. He grabs the long red hair once again, angling her head to the side, because Aemond needed to see her face the same way he needed air.
She was soaking wet, and that is a satisfaction for her husband. Aemond accommodated behind her, watching her body as he positioned his cock at her entrance.
 “Such a sweet little cunt” he growls, his eye flashing with lust and desire as he thrusts into her from behind, in one swift motion. 
Her whimpers and pants are loud, as she grips on the sheets as her back is arched. She was desperate to be filled and fucked, not something unusual. The unusual thing was that… nothing happened.
“Aemond” She whines, moving her head to watch him from above her shoulder. She had that desperate, pitiful appearance that he loved.
“Yes, my love?” He asks almost nonchalantly, watching her ass, and how his cock is fully sank inside her 
She can barely think straight as his dick is deep inside her, throbbing in her walls as she just needs him to start fucking her. “Eh… move?”
“I don’t think so” he murmurs, his hand moving to caress her ass to his liking. “You’ll have to fuck yourself on my cock” His wife opens her mouth, confused as her eyebrows frown in hesitation. “Show me how much you need me” he says simply, he was fucking teasing her. “How much you need my cock”
Feeling the thick length of Aemond’s cock inside her, she accommodates on her hands, slowly moving away just to sink down onto his cock again. Her slick walls gripping him tightly as she impales herself on his thick cock. 
“Aemond… Fu-uck, you feel… oh, yes…” She whimpers, and her voice is filled with pleasure as her pussy starts getting pounded as she liked so much. If Lady Tully liked something in life, was probably getting fucked until her mind is mush.  
Her hips start moving on their own accord, as she grips on the sheets, trying to keep a stable posture to move her hips better, as her moans are obscenely loud, trying to get his cock deeper and deeper. Aemond leaves a groan, watching how she sinks down on his cock, and it is an image that would make any man cum in seconds. He truly was the luckiest man ever. 
He feels the fire in his stomach tighten, as her moans grew more and more delighted to the feeling of his cock pounding into her. At first, she had thought of it as promiscuous, and asked the maiden for forgiveness, but gods damn her if it wasn’t the best thing in life to get a good fuck from the love of her life.
“So responsive when getting a cock in your needy pussy” Aemond mutters, as one of his hands raises to spank her ass, the sharp slap only serves for the sounds coming out of her mouth to increase, and he spanks her again, and again, and again, to his own amusement and delight. 
“Please, Aemond…” 
“You just love misbehaving with me, because you know I will put you in your place” he says, moving forward to her body to grip his hair with his right hand, his left goes right next to her hand gripping the sheets to hold his weight. “Because you are a needy whore” he states, gripping her hair as she nods forcefully. 
“Yes” she says, in that whiny tone of hers. He knows her reactions yet every time they aroused him even more. “Yes, please”
The grip on her hair only serves to help him push her back against his cock, his hips now making the effort to start properly pounding into her cunt as she loved; hard, rough and at a deliciously good pace. Her body is practically numb as he starts to use her body for his own pleasure, just as she loved.
Who would have said that the most beautiful woman on earth loved being used by her husband? Definitely not him. She was the most perfect creature, in any way. Smart, funny, pretty, a good wife and mother. And yet she always craved his cock, like the filthiest whores of Flea Bottom. 
“Let those bastards hear you, hm?” He asks, as he leans to speak lowly near her ear. “How it’s your husband who pleases you. Perhaps my uncle will get the notion that you are mine. Only mine. Fucking mine. That fucking dodderer will die by my hand if he ever dares to lay his eyes on you” 
The mere thought infuriates him, making his hips slam into her harder and more feral. Rutting into her cunt in an animalistic pace as he has to clench his jaw in rage. His hand on her hair and the other on her waist, he groans at the feeling of her soaking cunt. 
The sobs he hears as his cock keeps on pounding into her sweet spot, makes him smug enough, and even more aroused. His sweet lady wife, so prone to cry when she had too much pleasure when she got overwhelmed with lust. 
“Please, please…” the round of pleas comes up with her tears, and Aemond moans, shamelessly, as he was so close. “I can’t t-take i-it… anymo-ore” 
“Oh, you will” he says through gritted teeth as he lets go of her hair, only for his other hand to go to her shoulder to help her get his dick deeper. “I will breed you. Cum so deep that my seed takes root, and everyone will know who you belong to.” 
Her nods between sobs, pleas and trembling legs help him pound in feral thrusts into her, feeling her cunt already milking him, inner walls attempting to squeeze his dick inside and never let it go.
“Cum for me, my love” he murmurs, still fucking her deep and nice how she likes it. “My beautiful wife” he murmurs, besotted by her as she cries, her tears rolling down her rosy cheeks with little freckles that he adored. 
The little spasms of her body, her wails and the way her cunt squeezes him, it’s enough to drive him to the edge, holding her body down into his cock as he moans loudly, rolling his eye back in pleasure as he cums hard. She whimpers, whining a bit as his seed just keeps on filling her, his balls tensing up as his grip will probably leave her delicate skin with red marks.
He is caring afterwards, as he cleans her with a towel, or when he places her in bed and covers her, lying by her side each time as she snuggles to him.
“You have to know–” she says softly, her fingers tracing circles on his chest. “You are hot when jealous”
Aemond huffs, grumbling about it a bit as he seems reluctant. It amuses her.
“You always find me hot, I could be… Killing a chicken and you would be leaking”
“Get on my place for a moment, please, just imagine how your muscles would flex” she says dead serious and he rolls his eye amused, as the corners of his lips gives him away.
The fixation on his hair would be a problem if he didn’t love her so much. Aemond allows his lady Tully to braid it as they talk in bed. 
“I didn’t really mean it” he says softly. 
“Hm?” She asks curious, her fingers working on a single small braid on his hair.
“You can talk to them” he says through gritted teeth. “Just-... not too much”
Her little laugh warms his heart. “Very well” she says amused. “For each sentence I say to them, I will suck you”
“I retract myself, talk to them very much, all you like” he says, and it has her giggling. “You know I love you…” he says; as it comes into his view her concentrated face, her tongue coming out of her pink lips as she was focused. He could see the freckles that he so adored, and her pretty eyes. How he loved her.
“You know I love you more…” she says fixing his braid to stick to his hair. Her mouth forms a pleased smile as she sits, as she inspects her work. “Yes. Seems pretty nice”
He could feel the hair strand tight, and he moved his hand to touch his head. “What in the Seven Hells you did to my hair, woman?” 
She looks very pleased as she giggles, her body accommodating against his chest as she shrugs innocently, as he keeps on playfully trying to decipher what his wife did to his hair. 
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ranboolivesaysstuff ¡ 1 year ago
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HEY! Just because I am now 20 I think having something to kind of re establish boundaries would be good! Considering the ones I put all those times ago have changed :D GENERAL RULES! Do not be racist, sexist, homophobic, antisemitic, ableist, or discriminatory against anyone for any reason. Please if someone is calling you out for things you have done or said, please self-reflect and take the proper steps to change or remove yourself from the community. If you see something you do not like, and it IS MADE WORSE BY BRINGING ATTENTION TO IT, THEN IGNORE IT! Bringing attention to problems that just arent really problems with either the community or me in general are not worth it! Please use common sense when thinking about what/what not to engage with! I personally wish that people in the community do NOT engage with people who just obviously do not like me! Chances are they want a reaction from it so it is MUCH better to just not argue with someone whos mind you will not change! ALLOW CRITICISM OF ME AND MY CONTENT! IF YOU DONT AGREE OR DONT LIKE THEN DO NOT ARGUE ABOUT IT!!!! ALL IT WILL DO IS CAUSE UNESSICARY DRAMA!!! DO NOT make ANY comments or content about me that is explicitly sexual. I completely understand that lately there have been bits due to the changes in how I’ve been presenting myself and how I’ve been presenting more femininely, but that does not allow anyone to use that as an excuse to sexualize any features and such that are more feminine or masculine. Remember that femininity is not sexual and should not be seen or created as such just because its there! (for example, the Vtuber costume and chat being overly weird over the added boobs where there was no need for it). DO NOT draw me in ways that are sexual either, such as highlighting any aspects in a sexual way, or making the content something sexual. I am completely okay with being drawn as any body type, masculine presenting or feminine presenting, as long as you stick to this! PLEASE DO NOT SPECULATE ABOUT MY PERSONAL LIFE!!! Making jokes about certain topics CAN be fine, but a line is crossed when it becomes a legitimate speculation or if a joke is said when I have expressed my discomfort! RESPECT MY FRIENDS!!! All of my friends are their own, incredible people. And they do not deserve to be lumped in or referred to as JUST "my friend". Be respectful in their chats even when im not there, and be respectful to all of them everywhere else! IF SOMEONE IS TRYING TO INFORM YOU THAT YOU MAY BE DOING SOMETHING WRONG PLEASE LISTEN!!! There has been a lot of times in which I have seen people be unwilling to change in the face of a genuine discussion, and that is not something I want in the community! I should NOT have to police every single thing because it should NOT take me saying something in order to change your mind! As my words are not worth more or less when it comes to a lot of subjects! And lastly, do good. Whenever you have the ability to. BE POSITIVE!!! The hater mindset is very draining and can be very toxic to both you and the people around you, so highlight the good instead of the bad if you have the ability to! I am so incredibly proud of how far this community has come, and I cannot wait for the future!!! I have spent some time writing this, but it may not be perfect, so I will update this as time goes on and I think of more, or if something needs to be SUPER cleared up, but for now these are the main ones! I will NOT be updating this after every little thing however, as I do not want you guys to feel like the only way that something is wrong is if I talk about it! As you guys should be able to sustain yourself as a community without my consistent input! Imma go enjoy my birthday by eating a pizza :) thank you all!
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sugarlywhispers ¡ 11 days ago
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b.katsuki x reader (fem) | quirkless!reader, prohero!dynamight
a.n; I'M IN LOVE WITH THIS IDEA OKAY? I HAVE HAD IT IN MY DRAFTS FOR LIKE A YEAR ALREADY AND I NEED YA'LL TO RANT WITH ME ABOUT THISSSS<3 it's mostly enemies to lovers💕
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BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG
"For the love of–... I'M COMING!"
It's Sunday morning. You have been expecting this day to wake up maybe mid-morning, with the gentle warm breeze coming from your open window; have an exquisite brunch that you have been planning and craving since Friday; maybe watch an episode or two of your favorite show before preparing a full spa day, with a long and refreshing bath included. That's how you have planned your Sunday to go.
But no… Apparently, someone's intention was to ruin the whole day for you while their knocks on your door were persistent and annoying at 6 freaking a.m.
You don't think about what you're wearing before stumbling towards the door, with the loud BANGS still sounding. You think of your poor neighbors next door and their newborn baby.
"This little shit," you protest, completely annoyed with this person knocking on your door like someone has died. "Someone better be dead or else…" You open the door in one strong pull and huff utterly annoyed when you encounter the person behind.
Vermillion eyes collide with yours, the intense hate and annoyance so palpable in the air it almost cuts you both.
"What the fuck do you think you're doing?"
He tchs, rolling his eyes at you. The bile travels up through your esophagus, and you want to spit at him.
"Save the greetings, if you know what a decent greeting means… Well, considering how well you just did it, I doubt you fuckin’ know…"
The muscle at your temple twitches so hard, you believe he is actually able to see it. That would explain his upcoming smirk.
"The fuck do you want?" You repeat, not even caring or taking the time to follow this banter with him. You would normally do it, come back at him with a snarky response that would probably hurt his ego and he would answer back making you even angrier, and yada yada, nothing new to this ‘hate x hate’ relationship you had with this man in front of you. But today is not a day you planned on dealing with Bakugou-annoying ass-Katsuki.
He looks down at his hands, his fingers fidgeting a bit with the buttons on his all-black suit jacket you just now noticed he is wearing. Interesting; he never uses formal suits like this one if it isn't for a Hero Gala, and that was only once a year. Or that one time you remember he had to apologize to citizens through a TV interview with Deku because of a villain attack in Hokkaido they couldn't quite contain on time and caused a lot of material damage. You shake your head coming back to the present. Pro Hero Dynamight, a.k.a. Bakugou-annoying ass-Katsuki is standing right at your door, looking a bit nervous while playing with the buttons of his jacket, furrowing his eyebrows like he is angry even at the air he breathes.
You could have expected anything from this unpredictable man who infuriated you almost twenty-four hours a day, the seven days of the whole week. However, you were not expecting at all the words that come from his mouth after he looks up again and his eyes lock with yours.
"Fucking marry me."
Your eyes open wide. And the only thing you think of doing is punching him. And you do.
Your hands close in tight fists, and before saying anything, you punch his shoulder as strongly as you can with one. You know for sure your small and useless fist won't do any damage to this hulk of a man, but the meaning behind it it's what matters.
He simply looks at you in disbelief. "Ouch?" He smirks. He fucking smirks at you, and this time you punch his stomach, which does make him grunt and hover a bit in pain.
You attempt to close the door right at his face, but he suddenly pushes it with his hand and makes you waver a bit back, holding yourself on the door handle. He stands straight again, retrieving his hand from the door when he realizes he used more force than intended to prevent you from closing the door.
"I- umm- Shit, sorry, I didn't-..." 
You raise a hand to stop him from talking.
"Just fucking tell me what you want, so I can go back to bed and not see your ugly face for the rest of my day."
You watch in satisfaction how his face contours into full rage. And this time you smirk. 
"I fucking hate you…" He spits, and you bat your lashes at him while smiling.
"Ah, the feeling is mutual, baby."
Bakugou takes a deep breath, closing his eyes and holding himself on the door frame with strength. You're sure his hand shape will print on it, and you get more annoyed –if that's possible, but you have already learned that when Bakugou was involved, the anger was immeasurable– thinking that you will have to hire someone to fix that.
"I fucking hate you," he repeats through his teeth with his eyes still closed, but then he opens them, and his entire face changes into something you never expected to see. He looks at you, begging, "But I need you to marry me."
You look… perplexed. Again, never in your life have you ever come across the thought that those words would ever come from the man in front of you, much less towards you.
You open your mouth to say something, but the neighbor from the apartment in front of yours opens his door, standing there with his arms crossed and looking menacingly.
"Everything okay, Y/N?" His deep baritone voice asks. Bakugou turns his head and when he sees him, stands straight, head held high and you can imagine the type of defying expression on his face.
You roll your eyes. Men.
"Yes, Arisu, everything is fine. He's… a… friend," the word stung your tongue because you couldn't consider Bakugou that, even though you shared the same group of friends. But it wouldn't have been good having these two fight over something you still didn't understand what was happening; the thought of who of these two hulk men would win still was entertaining to think about. Your money was on Arisu, of course.
"Alrigh’," Arisu says, looking at Bakugou up and down before retrieving himself back into his apartment.
"The fuck this fucking extra-..." You stop Bakugou from turning and going towards Arisu by holding his arm and pulling him towards you.
"Stop it. Come inside," you demand, pulling him as he watches your hand around his bicep, "before any of my neighbors file a complaint against me thanks to your fucking loud mouth."
Bakugou grunts at your words as he lets you pull him inside. When you close the door and turn to him, you realize how big he looks in your small apartment, where there is barely space between the living room and the kitchen and two doors, one leads to your bedroom and the other to the bathroom. You want to laugh at how uncomfortable he looks.
You take a deep breath, scratching your forehead to regain a bit of patience –which was non-existent whenever Bakugou was around.
"Okay, now, explain to me what the hell is wrong with you."
"Nothing is wrong with me. More like what's wrong with you and this small thing you call apartment… When did you-..."
"Bakugou! I didn't invite you in for you to start insulting my living space!" You say more exasperated by every second he is in there. "Tell me what the hell happened to you! Why did you come here, almost tearing down the door of my place at 6 in the fucking morning, annoying even my neighbors, and then you fucking propose out of nowhere!"
His lips are held in a tight line as he watches you almost yell at him, hands opening and closing anxiously. There is silence for a couple of minutes before he says, "My father died."
You gasp, taking a step back. Wow. That's something you were not expecting at all. You get now why the black suit. And now that you look at him better, his eyes look glassy and reddish –probably thanks to how much he's holding himself back from showing any other emotion that isn't anger. And that's… sad.
Your arms immediately hug yourself, one hand settling over your chest. "I- I'm sorry…"
"Don't be," he turns a bit to the left, facing the kitchen to avoid looking at you. "Fucker was a right pain in the ass."
You choke on the laugh that almost escapes you at his words, and after you clear your throat you murmur, "Sorry." He looks at you a bit amused, the right corner of his mouth lifted a bit at your reaction.
You sigh again after a few seconds of silence, "Bakugou, what does that have to do with you asking me to-...”
"My great-grandparents are-were the funders and CEOs of TCA Technologies Corp.," your eyes open wide at the name of the prestigious company that had been ground-breaking in the creation and use of robots, before being the number one seller of technology materials to support heroes. They were high class in society, civilians and heroes. "Yeah, that's the face every extra makes," he smirks when you stick your tongue out at him.
He then looks at you up and down and immediately looks away, clearing his throat in a clear gesture of shyness. You frown confused.
"Fucking go put some clothes on."
That's when you remember you had no pants, no bra, and an old shirt that barely covered your panties. Fuck. You almost run towards your room to get changed. All of this had to be a dream… or a nightmare.
Your Sunday was entirely ruined. You know that for sure.
After you change to decent, more covered clothing, leggings and a big shirt that almost reached your knees –it is Sunday, dammit, and the hell you are gonna dress up for Bakugou Katsuki– you walk again towards the living room where you left said asshole waiting for you there. He is now sitting on your couch, his suit jacket lying over the back of it. His elbows are resting over his knees, his hands holding his head. You have never encountered a tired Bakugou, yet here he is. Looking beaten and down.
He looks up at you when he hears you approach him; his eyes are more reddish than before, kind of like when you want to cry but don't let yourself do it. That made you feel bad for thinking about him as an asshole.
"What took you so long, short-legs? Whatever you wear, you'll still stink and look ugly on it."
Nope. He is and will always be a stupid asshole.
You roll your eyes grunting as you let yourself fall on the couch, as far away from him as you can on that three-people couch, crossing your legs under you.
"Spit it out, asshole. What's all this about?"
He sighs, "My father inherited it all after my grandfather died. His whole life had been that stupid company, his and my mother's. I don't give a fuck about it, but the old hack insists that I- ow!"
You pinch him on the shoulder this time, knowing very well that if you had punched him he wouldn't have felt anything. But pinching… he did feel that.
"What the fuck was that for?!"
"Don't call your mom like that, idiot!"
"Fucking piss off, you know shit! The old hack is an old hack, she deserves the title."
You shake your head in disagreement but decide to leave that topic there considering how affected he looks by it.
"The old hack said," he simply repeats that to spite you, and you really want to punch him, "that I need to step up and be fucking CEO of that bullshit, or…"
He looks at you, and you gulp, kind of understanding where this is going.
"Or get married." You finish the sentence, crossing your arms over your chest, "But why? Those two options are completely different from one another."
"The sky will fucking fall the day I understand any-fucking-thing that comes out of her mouth. She's nuts!" He protests, arms exaggerating his words as he opens them wide, evidently showing how much stress he has, before laying back on the couch, head resting over the back of it where his jacket is. He sighs long and deeply before talking again, "My great-grandmother had a strong Quirk, but she decided to stay at home instead of being a Hero. Those were other times, ya'know?"
"I know History of Heroes, Bakugou. I'm not stupid."
He looks at you again, this time genuinely surprised, "I, umm, thought you-..."
"Have you ever thought that despite not having a Quirk, I know about heroes?"
He tchs, "No wonder why you and shitty Deku are such shitty nerds."
You roll your eyes for the eleventh time that morning, "Get to the point, shitty asshole."
Bakugou scoffs, clearly holding back a retort to answer back, then he continues, "I'm the first in generations with a strong, hero-level Quirk. Most of my family had decided to live as civilians, building this stupid company from generation to generation."
"Oh, and you are the first actual Hero in the family. You are the first one to choose differently…"
He nods in response, "It almost gave my grandfather a heart attack. Ever since my Quirk woke up, I knew what I wanted," he looks back at you, and for the first time, you admit to yourself that you're curious of knowing what he wants, what goes through his head, so you nod allowing him to continue, "I want to be a Number One Hero. I want to kick villains' asses as much and as hard as I can for as long as my stupid aging bones allow me to."
The intensity in his eyes and conviction in every word he spoke made you feel his passion. And that was… new.
"But to be that, I can't afford to waste time in falling in love and all that bullshit…"
"Then say no to your mom and the company," you offer as a solution. He snorts letting his head fall back against the couch.
"You know shit…" He shakes his head, "There's a requirement in every hero company, it says that a familiar, or a spouse if the hero is married, has to validate your mental sanity alongside a doctor to keep working as a Hero."
"I… didn't know that."
"Of course not, short-legs. You're not a hero, why would you know?"
"So, if I… If we get married-..." he nods in confirmation even before you say the words. But he says them.
"The old hag won't have to validate my status as Hero anymore, and she won't have anything to hold me back from sending her and the company to hell."
You looked serious at him, "Bakugou, you and I don't like each other. You hate me and I hate you. And you want to put your Hero status in my hands by marrying me?" You say in disbelief, almost anxious about the whole meaning of this. You stand up and walk from one side to the other as you keep talking, "Why? Because your inner kid is in rebellious tantrum mode and does not want to take the responsibility to-..."
"Shut the fuck up! You. Know. Shit!" He also stood up, shortening the distance between you two in the small living room.
"Then tell me! Explain it to me! Cause to me you only sound like a spoiled brat who doesn't want his veggies for lunch."
He looks you right in the eye, hands almost trembling in fists beside his body, and then he drops the bomb.
"My mother killed my grandfather."
You recoil a step back, "What?"
He sighs, hands and fingers running through his hair, clearly uncomfortable, "I-... There is no proof, no solid proof about it. I just- I know it was her." Again, the conviction in his eyes made you believe him. "My mother wanted the money, the luxury life being with my dad could bring her. But my dad had a brother, an older brother."
"Had?"
Bakugou simply shakes his head, "The idiot got himself in between a shooting from two villain groups. He was shot only once, and it killed him. A fucking looser…" 
You try, you really tried not to smile but failed miserably. "You are the idiot," you say fighting back the chuckle.
He smiles back, "No, I got shot several times, I even got thrown at and through walls, and I'm very much fucking alive. I'm no weak ass looser as him."
You can't stop laughing, Bakugou definitely is an idiot.
He waits until you're done laughing before continuing, "Even then, my grandfather didn't think my dad was capable of handling the company and all it meant, so he was thinking about giving it to one of his nephews. That's when, I fuckin’ know, my mother took matters into her own hands. I'm an only child. If I say no…"
"The company has to go to another familiar..." Everything washes clear now in your head, “And your mom won't allow that to happen. So she’ll lie and say you aren’t sane enough to keep working as a hero,” Bakugou keeps nodding, confirming everything you’re saying.
“That way, I’m obligated to work at the company.”
Your hand travels from your forehead and brushes your hair back. “She wouldn’t that… She’s your mom, Bakugou...”
“Haven’t you heard a fucking thing I said? She fucking killed my grandfather so the company was legally inherited by my father! Therefore, she could hold all the rights, all the stupid money! My father was a fucking dimwit who believed every-fucking-thing my mother said. She controlled him as she pleased.”
You gasp as another realization hits you, “That’s why you are an asshole to her…”
“She can fool anyone, but not me.” He declares, standing tall and proud. “I have never played her game, and I fuckin’ never will.”
You hug yourself once more, taking some minutes to assimilate all the confessions he just dropped on you. Everything feels like a script of a freaking movie or something. And there are too many questions you want to ask. But there’s only one thing you mostly don’t understand and you need the answer to.
So you look back at him, head tilting up a bit due to the height difference between you, and ask, “Why me?”
Bakugou does not hesitate in his answer. 
“You’re strong, despite not having a Quirk. And smart. You don’t let anyone dictate what you can or cannot do,” he takes a step closer, his eyes never leaving yours, “You have never backed down from a discussion, with me or anyone else. You don’t let anybody step on you, holding tight to your convictions and beliefs.”
You visibly gulp, feeling a little warmth in your cheeks that makes you want to look elsewhere, but you don't. You hold the connection between your eyes like dear life. And he smiles, the left corner of his mouth raising a bit.
“You have a fuckin’ strong character, you won't even shy down from me,” you suddenly feel the back of his index finger caress the right side of your jaw, where lays an old scar he perfectly recognized.
It was the scar he accidentally left when you were younger, stupider. He had picked a fight with another newbie hero –another asshole in your opinion– who kept talking shit about his other newbie hero friends. Bakugou had snapped when the guy mocked the word “whore” towards you. You have tried to separate them, earning yourself a punch on the right side of your face by this same man that has touched the reminder of that old memory.
“But above all that…” It’s his turn to gulp, eyes going up and down through your face. Is he… Is he looking at your lips? “You are kind. You care about everyone. You always try to solve everything for everyone –that’s fuckin’ annoying actually.”
You open your mouth to swear at him, stupid asshole; but he doesn’t give you time to say anything. “What I’m trying to fuckin’ say is–” he takes a deep breath, “You are… good. A good person. And you… You understand m- us.”
Was he going to say ‘me’? By ‘us’, you know he means heroes.
Your parents had been heroes before they died. Unfortunately, you were born Quirkless, so the dream of following your parents' path was decided the same day you were welcomed into this world. You have already made peace with this idea, it didn’t hurt like it used to when you were young. Despite not having a Quirk, you specialized in Quirk and training analysis, which granted you a job that most Hero Agencies wanted you for. Hence also how now your group of friends involved all heroes.
However, one thing is working with them, working with Bakugou Katsuki, a.k.a. Pro Hero Dynamight, who was the biggest pain in your ass you have ever had since the day you met him. Another completely different is actually marrying the pain in your ass.
You sigh, “I don’t–...”
“What? You want me to fuckin’ beg? ‘Cause I fuckin’ will…” Bakugou takes a step back and literally kneels before you. You protest, grabbing his forearm and pulling him back up, but he doesn’t let you move him even a millimeter. “What do you want? Whatever you want is yours. We can even sign a dam contract if you so want, I don’t fuckin’ care what it is. Whatever you want, it’s yours.”
“This is not a fucking joke, Bakugou. You are asking me to marry you. What if I have a boyfriend? You didn’t even fucking ask!”
His eyes open wide, surprised. “Do you?”
You roll your eyes, releasing an exasperated sigh. “No! I don’t!”
“Then, what are you bitching about?”
You groan. “I’m bitching about the fact that I don’t know why would you put a whole big deal on me when we hate each other!”
“I trust you.”
It’s a short answer, his expression is even so neutral and sure that leaves you perplexed. Surprised at how easily he said those words.
“We don’t like each other…”
“I don’t need to like you to trust you, idiot.” It feels like he’s mocking you, but one look into his eyes and what he is saying actually feels right. He is completely sure of what he is saying. “I would even fuckin’ trust you with my life.”
He already does. Every day, at work.
Still, you can’t pass the opportunity to piss him off. “Wow. That’s deep, buddy.”
“Fuck you.”
Mission accomplished.
You laugh gently, looking at him still kneeling on the floor of your living room. The sight in itself is a miracle. A sight you won't get to see ever again from this man. But it’s not the image of his kneeling position that makes you take the decision.
It’s his eyes.
They are screaming, desperately begging for you to help him. And, damn it, he is right; you always are at the disposal of everyone when they need your help. Fuck! It is actually very annoying –but you will never admit that out loud, especially not to him.
You close your eyes, head tilting back, and take a long, deep breath.
You are so going to regret this.
“Fine, I’ll do it.”
Bakugou Katsuki immediately stands up and practically throws himself at you, his whole hulk of a body surrounding you in what you have never thought would ever happen between you two: a hug.
Are you though?
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kiyinian ¡ 8 months ago
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Part two
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・
Ex-husband Simon who: Always does the month's grocery shopping with you, always coming up with lame excuses to spend more time with you. Always encourages your children to eat a lot, sometimes even more than they should, just to make sure the food runs out quickly and that you call him to help with the groceries.
Ex-husband Simon who: Never stopped wearing his wedding ring, even though you no longer wore yours. For him, you would always be his wife, no matter what, even if you refused to wear your wedding ring again.
Ex-husband Simon who: Is very attentive to the children, always picks them up from school when you can't, who takes them out every weekend, and on vacation, takes them on trips. And of course, always thinking about spending more time with you.
Ex-husband Simon who: Knows that divorce means divorce, but can't stop giving you Valentine's Day presents every year, even if you reject being his Valentine once again.
Ex-husband Simon who: Is always available when you need him, if something has broken in the house? Don't hesitate to call him. Need to buy something? Ask him and he'll sort it out. Want a shoulder to cry on? He'll be there for you.
Ex-husband Simon who: Always pays for things for you, especially when you go out with the children. He refuses to let you pay a single penny when he's around, even though he knows you have enough money to pay for whatever you want. Just as he won't stop sending you money, even if you work.
Ex-husband Simon who: Even though you live in separate houses, he always goes to the house where you and the children are living, the usual excuse being that he was passing by, so he decided to go and see the children. And you, too.
Ex-husband Simon who: Knows it's wrong to manipulate children like this, but he induces the little ones to dislike any other man you introduce to them. No matter how good your new romantic interest is, Simon can't stand the idea of you having someone else by your side. And the children think so too.
Ex-husband Simon who: Is happy when he hears that you haven't met anyone since you split up, that no other man had caught your eye. And he could only feel the relief and hope that this brought him.
Ex-husband Simon who: Tries to win you over again, always giving you presents, calling you to dinner, being the exemplary husband you needed. All the effort that was thrown away every time you denied him, he left with a heavy heart, but destined to try as many times as necessary. There was no other person who was like you, you were the only one for him.
Ex-husband Simon who: Almost felt his heart drop out of his mouth when he saw you all dressed up for your son's second birthday, you'd only prepared a small party, no big deal. But the sight of you was still breathtaking, even more so when you smiled so sweetly. He didn't take his eyes off you once that evening.
Ex-husband Simon who: Didn't hesitate to accept when you asked to spend the night with him, after the children were asleep. And you would have time alone after a long time apart.
Ex-husband Simon who: Made love to you as if it were the last time. He caressed every part of your body, made you feel butterflies in your stomach with every kiss he gave you. He pounded into you like a maniac, as if it were his last day on earth, telling you he loved you, calling you the nicknames he knew would make you weak in the knees. He made you see stars that night.
Ex-husband Simon who: Felt heartbroken when you said that everything that had happened was a mistake, and that it was a moment of weakness. It shouldn't have happened, that's what you said, but it all seemed so right to him.
Ex-husband Simon who: Didn't understand why you were distancing yourself from him after the night you shared together, that he felt he had done something wrong to you. Who didn't understand your nervousness, the way you stuttered and fidgeted next to him, he just thought he'd done something wrong and you were angry.
Ex-husband Simon who: Had no idea that you were actually nervous not because of some action of his, but because you didn't know how to break the news to him that you were pregnant, that your evening had resulted in an unplanned pregnancy. You were carrying twins.
Ex-husband Simon who: Almost fainted when you broke the news to him, he didn't know whether to cry with relief or joy. But in any case, he was sure that he would go through hell to get you back, he was going to do everything possible and impossible to make his family what it was before.
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earthtooz ¡ 8 months ago
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jealous ratio bc i wont him, inspired by the simulated universe occurrence, banter about marriage hehe
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"Dr. No. 5 asked me to be his research partner today," you mumble half-heartedly to Veritas. It was an ordinary night, you're curled into his side with your phone in hand, watching the latest series you've been invested in whilst he occupies his mind with a book, held by one hand whilst his other is wrapped around you.
However, when he registers your confession, he tenses, slightly scrunching the pages of his book as the arm around you stiffens, muscles contracting.
"And what did you say?" He asks, feigning collectedness.
"I agreed."
His book slams shut and he shoots upward to a sitting position, baffled by the nonchalance of your tone. How cruel, you have betrayed him in the most despicable of ways, do you not care? Agreeing to be someone else's research partner is akin to that of spitting on his heart and stomping it flat, have you no respect for the laws of academic loyalty (there is no such thing), or is he the only one in your relationship devoted to it?
An idiot. You will be working with an idiot and you somehow see no flaw in that, where is your integrity as his lover?
"What does that fool have that I don't?" He all but cries, yanking your phone from your hands and setting it on his bedside table.
"What are you blabbering about?" You ask, looking up at him with inquisitive eyes, confusion shining in your irises.
"I'm supposed to be your only research partner, I cannot believe that you've gone and betrayed me like this."
"Pray tell, Veritas, how is this a 'betrayal'?"
"I would never choose to be anyone's research partner if I'm not yours, but today I've discovered that my devotion is not only unreciprocated, but unappreciated! How unfathomable."
The purple-haired turns his muscular back to you, giving you the cold shoulder. Slowly you sit up and lean on his toned body, hand resting on his deltoid and you can already see the way he tries to fight the effects of your touch. "Dear, you wouldn't be anyone else's research partner because you think majority of people are 'idiots' and aren't worthwhile academics to invest time into."
"Precisely why I cannot believe that you have agreed to work with No. 5, who is undeniably, irrefutably, and undoubtedly, a simpleton!"
You bite your tongue when it threatens to spill that you think No. 5 is not as bad as Veritas assumes, but that would outrage the scholar even more and you do not want to spend the better half of your day purposefully ruining it.
"The pay was good," you reason, daring to place a kiss to his neck. "But you are still superior in my heart, Veritas. Do not fret, if I am to seek a research partner, you would be my first and only choice."
"How long will your project span for?" He asks begrudgingly.
"6 months of research, writing, and editing. After that, I am not too involved with the publishing process."
"Oh how it stains me picturing your name beside another imbecile's."
You sigh, sitting up straighter to wrap both arms around his neck. "Your name could be beside mine permanently if you got down to one knee and presented me a ring, but alas, perhaps I shall be waiting another few research papers for that to happen."
You can't see the fond smile on his face, but you yelp when he turns around suddenly to push you against the comfort of your mattress, his lips claiming yours.
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Š EARTHTOOZ 2024, do not steal, translate, repost my fics and do not recommend my fics onto any other site.
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brokenmenswhore ¡ 2 months ago
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can we get a part 2 to proposition? 🥺😩
i have NEVER gotten so many comments or inbox requests for something IN MY LIFE. here you go you horny fuckers i love you lots
a proposition: accepted | poly!marauders
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pairing: poly!marauders x fem!reader (james, remus, and sirius, featuring alecto, dorcas, evan, lily, and mary)
warnings: exhibitionism/voyeurism (MDNI 18+), smut, virginity loss
a/n: there will be a part 3 IF y’all want it :)
a proposition: masterlist
────── ☾ ──────
“How exactly does this work?” you asked, looking around the table in search of an answer from anyone present. You were excited, and you accepted the offer immediately, but now craved more detail.
“The only people we have sex with are the people at this table,” James began to explain, “so it’s relationship-y in that sense, but none of us are coupled off or anything.”
“You guys don’t get worried about favorites?”
Dorcas and Lily smiled and let out a small ‘aweh’ at your innocence.
“Everyone brings something different to the table,” Dorcas began to explain, “for instance, I’m not getting the same head from Mary that I’m getting from James.”
Your cheeks reddened and your eyes widened at her crude statement. If you were going to do this, sex had to be something you were comfortable talking about, so you pushed your nerves down with a swallow, but the whole table could already sense your innocence.
“Do we, like, all do it, like, at the same time? Or-“
Sirius smiled. You were fucking perfect for this if that’s the idea you had in your head.
“We can,” Sirius took over, “or sometimes it’s just two of us, three of us, or whatever. As long as you’re only sexually active with the people at this table.”
“Are you sexually active with anyone else?” Alecto asked.
You swallowed hard. “N-no.”
“Ok, and what are your limits?”
You looked at Remus in confusion.
“We gotta ask a couple questions to know what you’re comfortable with,” he explained, but your confusion maintained.
“My limits?”
“Well, when you’ve had sex before, was there anything you didn’t like? Anything you would want any of us doing with you?”
You stared at Remus, hoping someone would ask another question and change the subject. Your silence was more telling than a verbal answer would have been.
“You have had sex, yeah?”
You dropped your head, your eyesight on your thighs where Sirius’s hand rested. You began to fidget with your fingers in nervousness.
Sirius shifted in his chair to adjust the uncomfortability of his growing hardness. He knew you were innocent, but he didn’t know you were that innocent.
“Is it really a good idea for us to bring a virgin into this?” Lily asked, immediately turning to you, “not that we don’t want you, love, but are you okay with this? Like really okay with it?”
“Yeah,” you responded, “but if you guys aren’t okay with-“
A chorus of “no no no we are!” and “it’s okay!” erupted from nearly everyone trying to assure you they were not having doubts of their own, but concerns for you.
“We’ll take it easy at first, and you just tell whoever you’re with if you aren’t comfortable with something, how about that?” James proposed, “we’ll work our way up to other things. No rush.”
You nodded your head, smiling at his understanding. “Yeah, yeah I like that.”
“Good,” Sirius said, “so you just stop me if you want to.”
You furrowed your brows in confusion as you looked at Sirius, who looked back at you as if he was doing nothing, but the hand on your thigh began to move.
You gasped lightly as Sirius moved higher and higher up your thigh, the only thing between his hand and your core being your underwear. He ran a finger over the cloth, a wet spot forming quickly as he rubbed between your folds.
Your cheeks were on fire as you looked around the table, and everyone was looking at you.
You suddenly became very self conscious, and leaned into the crook of Sirius’s neck, whispering, “they’re all just gonna watch?”
“Mhm,” Sirius hummed in your hair, tracing the band of your underwear, “that okay?”
He then dipped a finger beneath your underwear, finding your clit and slowly circling around the bud. No one but you had ever done this before, and it was exhilarating and embarrassing all at once.
“Can’t people see?” you whispered.
Sirius chuckled. He was so amused and having so much fun with you, as was everyone. “We gotcha covered, doll.”
The pet name drove you crazy, and you could feel yourself getting wetter and wetter as Sirius began to feel you.
You hid your face in the crook of his neck, but he advised you against it. “Let ‘em see your pretty face,” he said, “you’re here because we all wanna see this.”
Your heart was pounding, and barely anything had started, but you could feel everyone’s eyes on you.
You adjusted so that you were resting your head against Sirius’s shoulder, but could still see everyone, and they could still see you.
Sirius took the opportunity of your movement to move his fingers lower and insert one into you, causing your hips to jolt and you to moan in surprise.
“Sh,” Sirius warned, placing a kiss on top of your head, “we’re still in a restaurant, remember?”
You did not remember. Your thoughts were clouded by the pleasure and embarrassment you were experiencing.
Remus looked around the vicinity of the table to ensure no one else was in earshot, and he leaned over the wood, lowly saying, “you wanna show us all how you come?”
You had never experienced dirty talk, and didn’t comprehend that it was rhetorical.
Your voice was strained and low as you did your best to say, “sure.”
Both Evan and Lily giggled to each other. “You didn’t have to answer, honey, just relax. Sirius is a master at this stuff.”
Sirius pumped his finger in and out of you, your spongy walls convulsing around the digit as his thumb rubbed your clit, intensifying the pleasure.
You felt a drop in the pit of your stomach, and you knew what it meant. You tapped Mary’s shoulder next to you. It was the nearest thing, and you hoped she would catch on.
“What’s up?” she asked, playing dumb.
You only tapped her more fervently.
“Gotta use your words, angel,” James chimes in, “we all wanna hear you say it.”
You took a deep breath, nearly whispering, “I think I’m gonna come, Sirius, I-“
Sirius moved his hand faster and faster, and he was nearly growling as you leaned your body against his, finding comfort in him as you came around his fingers, your legs shaking from the intensity.
Everyone at the table began to cheer as a tease. Sirius removed his hand from you, looking you directly in the eyes as he licked your juices off of his fingers.
You gazed up at him through hooded eyes, attempting to catch your breath as your body adjusted to the absence of pleasure again.
“Is it okay if I stay here for a while?” you asked, referring to your head resting on Sirius’s shoulder.
“Of course,” he answered, looking to everyone else, “good pick on my part, I’d say.”
────── ☾ ──────
“What’s up?” you asked James the next day as he sat across from you at your usual table in the library.
“They sent me to ask you because they think I’m the nicest,” James said.
“Ask me what?” you asked.
“Well,” James started, “you know, you’re a part of this thing now, and they just- we just- oh my god. Do you have a preference on who you lose your virginity to?”
Your eyes widened. “Do I have a preference?”
“This is all consent based, we aren’t just gonna decide something like that for you.”
“Are you asking me to pick one of you to give it up to?”
“Pretty much, yeah.”
“Doesn’t it make me an asshole if I don’t say you?”
“Why would it?” James questioned.
“Because you’re the one asking me.”
“I have Lily and Dorcas’s, I’m set,” James said, “taking Lily’s was a win.”
“You’re such a guy,” you joked.
��You’re avoiding the question,” James retorted. “Sirius is the one who wanted to bring you into this in the first place, you know.”
You began to blush. “I’m scared of Sirius.”
“Scared? What do you mean?”
“Yesterday was fun, but for my first time, I’m scared he’d be too rough.”
“Sirius is a big ol’ softie,” James said, leaning back in his chair, “but fair enough. No pressure, angel, just let me know whenever you’re ready.”
You assumed that meant you had time, but James didn’t move.
“You really want an answer now, huh?”
“I kinda really do,” James smiled.
You contemplated your options, sifting through all the members of the group that you could choose from. You would be okay with a few of them, but one felt especially right.
“Remus,” you said.
James nodded. “Remus it is.”
“This feels weird.”
“You could just tell him yourself,” James said, standing up, leaving you with the idea to do so.
After classes has ended, you stood outside the Gryffindor common room, waiting for anyone you knew to walk by and let you in.
“Fuckin’ hell, you guys take forever,” you said as Lily approached, “can you let me in? I need to talk to Remus.”
Lily smiled. “Yeah you do,” she giggled.
She let you into the common room and directed you to the boys dormitories. You crept up the staircase, unsure of who would be there and not wanting to intrude or see something you shouldn’t.
Up the stairs, you found Remus, James, and Evan.
“Hey,” you said.
“Hey,” Evan responded, “you need something?”
“Would you guys mind if I spoke to Remus real quick?”
James and Evan didn’t answer, but instead just stood up and began to leave. When James was next to you, he leaned in and whispered, “hope it’s not real quick,” before departing.
You blushed and turned to Remus, who was kind enough to act like he didn’t know why you were there.
“What’s up?” Remus asked, sitting on the edge of his bed.
“I know James told everyone about our conversation, you don’t have to play dumb, though I do appreciate it.”
“Not playin’ dumb, baby, just wanna hear you ask for what you came here for.”
You took a deep breath and sat down next to Remus, the mattress sinking beneath you. “As you know, I’m a virgin.”
Remus chuckled. “I know.”
“I’d kinda like to not be.”
Remus smiled. “So ask me.”
“What?”
“Ask me,” he repeated, “can’t give you what you want if you don’t explicitly ask for it.”
You sighed. “I want you to please take my virginity, Remus.”
“Atta girl,” Remus said, leaning over and placing a soft kiss on your lips.
You reciprocated instantly, shifting your body closer to his as you deepened the kiss. You were not entirely confident in what you were doing, but you listened to your body, which had never been needier.
Remus guided your body down against the mattress, and pulled away when you were laying down.
“You can move back,” he said, and you used your arms to push yourself backward, allowing your entire body to rest against the bed.
“I’m gonna take it easy on you, just tell me if anything is too much, okay?”
“Okay.”
Remus kissed you again, and simultaneously pulled your skirt and underwear off of your legs in one action.
“You want this off?” he said, tugging at the bottom of your top.
“Can we maybe just leave it on? Baby steps, right?”
Remus gave you a sweet smile. “Whatever you’re comfortable with, baby.”
“Are you allowed to call me that?”
Remus was slightly taken aback. “What, baby? Yeah, why not?”
“It sounds relationship-y.”
“Sex is relationship-y.”
“But I thought we weren’t supposed to be relationship-y.”
“You’re about to lose your virginity, and you’re worried about if it’s ethically alright for me to call you baby?”
You blushed.
“I can call you whatever I want, and right now, you’re my baby, okay?”
“Okay,” you responded.
“Unless you don’t like it.”
“No, no, I do.”
Remus laughed. “Okay then, baby.”
You smiled as you pulled his lips back to yours. You were already soaking wet, but Remus still took the time for foreplay to ensure you were wet enough for it to be comfortable.
He softly rubbed circles on your clit, and you instinctively threw your head back against the mattress, sighing in pleasure.
He only stayed for a few moments before moving his hand lower and inserting one, then two, fingers into you. You didn’t really need the foreplay, but he felt bad fucking you without it. He needed to make sure you were ready, especially if you didn’t know how to tell yourself.
He pumped his fingers in and out a few times before removing them completely and unbuttoning his trousers, pushing them down, and crawling back on top of you.
“Are you ready?” he checked in.
“Yes,” you said, deciding explicit verbal consent was important.
Remus pumped his cock a few times before lining it up with your entrance. He pushed the very tip of his head in, getting his bearings before he drifted his gaze to your face, desperate to watch your reaction to feeling him for the first time.
He pushed in slowly, pausing for brief moments anytime your face contorted a little more than usual, and he took his time. He was in no rush, and he was focused on your comfort, which you appreciated.
When he finally bottomed out inside of you, he stilled, waiting for you to adjust to his size.
“You alright?” he checked in when you hadn’t opened your eyes or made a noise for a solid 30 seconds.
“I’m alright,” you assured him, “you can move.”
“You sure?”
“Mhm.”
Remus slowly pulled partially out of you before pushing back in. He was moving excruciatingly slow, and was fighting with all his strength not to ruthlessly fuck you into oblivion.
He began to pull out a little more with each thrust, studying your face to gage your comfort levels. By the time he was pulling almost all the way out he could physically see your muscles relax.
“How ya doin’?”
“I’m okay,” you whined, “hurts a little, but it’s going away now.”
“You wanna stop?”
“No, please keep moving,” you moaned.
Remus growled lowly and began to fuck into you again, moving slightly faster, but it wasn’t enough for you.
The burning pain had dissipated, and now all you wanted was more.
“Remus, please, faster,” you whimpered, and Remus’s body instantly responded.
He began to move faster and faster, setting a steady, relatively fast pace as he fucked in and out of you.
You ran your fingers through the hair on the back of his head and pulled him into a kiss as he fucked you, allowing him to swallow your moans and whines.
“Shit, you feel so good,” Remus praised, “I forgot how tight virgins are.”
His words added to your arousal, and you began to squeeze Remus’s cock, adding to his pleasure.
“Fuck,” he moaned, “I won’t last if you do that.”
“Can’t help it,” you moaned out.
Remus began to fuck you even faster, and your back arched up off of the bed at the new intensity. Remus took the opportunity to wrap an arm around your waist and hold you closer to him.
You were squirmy and whiny. “Relax, baby,” Remus cooed, “just let it feel good.”
You took a deep breath and tried to relax, relishing in the feeling of Remus’s cock pumping in and out of you.
“Feel good?” he asked.
“Mhm,” you hummed in response, “can’t- gonna-“
“You wanna come?” Remus taunted, “you wanna come on my cock?”
You nodded your head frantically, grabbing at the arms propped up directly next to your head for any support you could find.
“Wanna feel you, baby,” Remus whispered in your ear, and his words did you in.
You squeezed Remus tight as you came. Your back would have arched more if Remus wasn’t holding it in place. Your thighs were shaking violently as you continued to squeeze around him.
He forced himself to slow down as you came down from your high. When your breathing had reset, he pulled out of you, giving his cock a few pumps with his hand before he released onto the sheets next to your waist.
You wiped sweat-soaked hair from your forehead. “You could have done that on me.”
Remus grinned, “I could have, huh?” He leaned in and kissed you before standing up to retrieve you a towel.
“You okay?”
“Yeah, thank you, Rem.”
Remus’s heart swelled at the small nickname. “Fuckin wait until I tell everyone about this.”
────── ☾ ──────
taglist: @alixmarauders @riddlemenottsluttyslytherin @twilightlover2007 @hcqwxrtss123 @queerndepressed @prongs-wolfstar-marauders @flowersarcute
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beneathsilverstars ¡ 3 months ago
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i think it's key that being a kid is soo frustrating... both because you're not in control of much of your life, which would be frustrating for anyone, and because you haven't yet learned how to deal with frustrating situations.
when you're an adult and your friend gets hurt in battle, it's a tragedy, but you have seen battles and you have seen tragedies (more or less directly), and you know that shit just happens sometimes. it's scary and sad but you've built habits for how to react when you're scared and sad. you hoped it would never happen, but you knew it could, through sheer bad luck.
when you're a kid, this is the (second) worst thing that has ever happened to you, and however unready an adult might be a kid can only be less so. siffrin is cool and strong, he is not supposed to get HURT like this. it rocks bonnie's whole worldview. this isn't supposed to happen, it's not fair, and that's where the anger comes from! and they direct the anger at whoever caused the tragedy or should've-but-didn't prevent it: siffrin, who jumped in to defend bonnie. and bonnie themself, who couldn't take out the sadness on their own or do anything to stop/protect siffrin.
so they're mad at siffrin for jumping to their defense and getting hurt. and it's extra hard to move away from that feeling, because every time they even just look at siffrin they see the eyepatch. and they feel guilty, mad at themself for being unable to help, and they think siffrin should be mad at them too - but he's not, he's trying to act like it's no big deal. and that's even worse. what is bonnie supposed to do with all this guilt, then! why is no one else angry, why doesn't anyone else realize that it's not FAIR!
but what can they do? they're still not allowed to fight. siffrin won't yell at them or cry to them or anything. the adults try to shield bonnie from the worst, saying it will be fine, but bonnie knows it's not fine but what can they do. so they distance themself from siffrin because looking at them makes them feel angry and guilty. and they do their best to cook things their friends will like, helping the one way they're allowed to. and they just keep going with their life, but a little more volatile now, because every injustice or failure or frustration flares up that same ever-burning fire of anger and guilt. esp when it comes to siffrin; now that they're mad at him, it's easier to latch onto any additional reason to get mad at him, anything that is easier to understand and express.
specifically when it comes to fear turning to anger, i feel like the relationship between those emotions is like... acute fear in the moment. next, anger that something so awful happened. and then the slow burn of fear that it could happen again, alongside anger at anyone who caused or didn't prevent the scary thing. so fear is about what's happening, and anger is about why. also, anger feels more productive? when you're afraid, you run away and hide. when you're angry, you yell and fight. and bonnie is sick of running! so they lean into the anger whenever possible instead.
Hello bonnie enjoyer. How does one characterize bonnie. I want to write them but I don't know when their fear turns to anger, or when their sadness quiets down. I want to know bonnie!! - @wish-upon-the-universe (when will tumblr let side blogs ask questions 😔)
i am.so sorry HHELP i honestly. dooo not know SQUEAKS. a lot of my bonnie characterization is cross referencing with the game and then hoping REALLY hard.. child characters can be hard to write SQUEAKS!! i apologize but i am also honored that i am the bonnie enjoyer o7
#i don't have as much to say about sadness...#i think everyone in the party is just quick to try to distract each other from bad feelings and bring the mood up#with jokes or encouragement#there's some exceptions like mira's self doubt moments and some of her snack convos w siffrin and isa bringing up death#but mostly people are trying to be strong for each other#and for better or for worse#bonnie also does their best to fulfill their role#shove aside the bad feelings because what good would confronting them do#(they know they were left out of the convo for a reason. they know no one will let them turn their anger into protective action.)#and present their snacks with a flourish#and! it IS fun having fun with everyone!#so they try not to think about nille and they try not to look at siffrin and#as long as they're not forced to look at the sadness#they can put it away for a bit#because what else can they do?#(and when they are forced to keep looking that's when they reach back towards anger#because anger is active and righteous and satisfying and so much easier than sitting with sadness and fear)#they're probably more likely to be sad for longer when alone?#vs having someone else around who they can yell at or who can distract or reassure them#i think they're happy enough to let themself be distracted#(unless they're too angry)#idk i'm less sure about all this tags stuff though the details of canon are escaping me i'm just spitballing down here#isat#bonnie#thoughts about bonnie
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honeytonedhottie ¡ 3 months ago
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how to embrace being alone⋆.ೃ࿔*:・✍🏽🎀
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learning to be alone is such a crucial thing to learn at all times during your life, but especially during your youth. and something to understand is that sometimes, protecting your peace comes at the cost of being alone but being alone is peaceful! and not as bad as you might think that it is.
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being alone offers an opportunity for self discovery and growth and rest and relaxation and reflection and the list goes ON. being able to enjoy your own company is a SUPER power bcuz it genuinely nourishes you so much.
ENJOYING UR OWN COMPANY ;
you dont have to be codependent on someone else to make yourself happy or to make yourself feel good. what fulfills you and nourishes you isnt the relationships that u have with others. although that is an amazing and fulfilling thing, the most fulfilling thing is learning yourself. being alone REPLENISHES you, its like, hydration for the soul.
dont wait on someone else to do something that you wanna do!! if u dont have anyone to go with, just go on your own. you dont have to wait on others to be happy…💬🎀
PRACTICE BEING ALONE ;
go on solo dates, practice planning to do something fun and just doing it by yourself. once you start doing things alone and you see how nice it feels, you'll want to do it more bcuz its so easy to enjoy your own company, you just have to get over your fear of judgement or of being alone and learn to enjoy and embrace it.
♡ have a spa day
♡ learn to cook a new dish
♡ read a book
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♡ have a journalling session
♡ schedule appointments for urself
♡ go on a long drive
SOME BENEFITS OF ENJOYING UR OWN COMPANY ;
♡ u can be urself without filter
♡ less distractions and u give urself time to ponder and look internally
♡ ur in control of ur space and time
♡ u can be creative and imaginative without reference
♡ its peaceful
BEING UR OWN BESTFRIEND ;
treat yourself how you'd treat someone that you valued a lot. be compassionate and understanding and respectful. dont talk badly about yourself and dont be mean to/punish yourself bcuz u wouldn't do that to someone that u loved and cherished…💬🎀
dont abandon yourself in times where life can become stressful. focus on being present and dont forget your worth. your self worth and value doesn’t come from how useful you are to others, your valuable simply because you are you. a human being who is deserving of love. your worth doesnt come from how productive you are or what you’ve achieved, instead your worth is already done and your valuable because of your existence. 
COPING WITHOUT FRIENDS ;
everything is temporary and meaningful relationships will always find their way to you. just understand that some ppl are here temporarily and some ppl are here for a lifetime but only you are here for all of it which is why its important to be alone and be comfy with that.
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not everyone is gonna like you or wanna be your friend and thats okay. it has nothing to do with you and is almost always simply because of different personalities and its not personal
brush off rejections bcuz rejection is just redirection. when you dont take everything personally you'll notice how much happier you'll be overall.
know that the meaningful relationships and connections that u crave will come!! no one is here to be alone forever so you'll meet the people who pour into you and you'll meet ppl that u can pour into and you'll be okay!!
overall, enjoying your own company does wonders for your mental and physical health and its a useful skill to learn in general because it brings so much peace from being able to sit with your thoughts…💬🎀
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synqiri ¡ 5 months ago
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WHO GOT YOU SMILING LIKE THAT?
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or, who else is his smile directed at but you ?
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PAIRING: sunday, dan heng x gn!reader
WARNINGS: none
WORDCOUNT: 1K || CONTENT: fluff, reader is from the express, sunday's wings, danheng's vidyadhara form
NOTES: THEMMM!!!!
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“brother,” robin asks, “has something good happened recently?”
SUNDAY chuckles, shaking his head. “nothing in particular, dear sister. why do you ask?”
she knows it is a lie, yet she does not wish to press, for she has never seen her brother this happy in years. his gaze softer too, his smile more at ease. even now, his eyes dart about the golden hour occasionally, almost hopefully, searching for something — or someone. 
“no reason,” she replies instead. “you simply seem well. i'm glad.”
before he can say much else, robin watches as his attention is drawn away from her, to somewhere behind her back. swiftly, he adjusts his suit and tie (though she knows he despises having to do so in public), and straightens his already impeccable posture.
terribly curious, she turns to look, and finds that it is you.
you are of the astral express, and though she may not know much, she knows you are cherished.
“sunday! robin!” you greet them, a grin on your face, cheerful and bright. “i didn't expect to see you two. must be my lucky day!”
nearly imperceptibly, sunday's wings flutter, and robin can tell he is delighted. she wonders if he himself has noticed — that the moment he had laid his eyes on you, he simply melted.
her brother has always carried himself with a tense, elegant formality, his words and actions as dignified as the head of the oak family should be. but the sight before her eyes is a side of him she has never seen; soft eyes and a fond smile, barely there yet present all the same. 
you chatter, and he lets you, as if he were soaking in your every word, tension alleviating with your mere attention. 
“let's catch up another time, brother,” she tells him, smiling just a tad apologetically. still, it is obvious her presence is no longer needed. “i have another appointment i must attend to.”
he nods, bidding her a farewell, and you huff softly, slightly put out. 
“aw,” you say. “i was hoping we’d have longer to talk. you're almost harder to reach than sunday.”
she laughs. “i was just thinking the same. how about another day?”
excitedly, you agree, offering her your pinky to swear. she accepts easily. she is certain that even if the express has left, if everything happens as it should, it wouldn't be the last she’d see of you.
sunday would make sure of that.
just before she leaves, she catches how her brother draws your attention back onto him, with a childish sort of pettiness she thought he had rid of long ago. 
“i wasn't aware you were such a big fan of my sister's,” he says. “if you wish, i can provide you front row tickets to her next concert.”
you shake your head, giggling, but by then, she is too far away to hear your response. still, whatever you had said to sunday flusters him. his wings flutter once more, positively elated.
he smiles.
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recently, DAN HENG has changed.
march has noticed it long ago, and she's sure caelus has too. not only that, she's positive it has something to do with you.
you’re the newest addition to the astral express crew, and she likes you lots. everyone does, really. you're wonderful and brilliant and bright, even if you don't see it yourself. she watches as you make your way into the archives, though she doesn't do the same. she peeks into the tiny window by the door instead.
there it is. she almost squeals. it's utterly adorable, that's what.
dan heng hates company when he's working, a fact march knows all too well. aeons know how many times she got herself kicked out. except, he doesn't seem to hate company all that much when it's you.
“it's me,” you announce as you enter, and he barely spares you a second glance, as if it was there you were always meant to be.
he shifts aside, letting you grab a chair and taking a seat next to him, even allowing you as close as shoulder to shoulder. he's in his true form today. his tail curls around the base of your feet — it doesn't touch you, but it's a damn near thing.
she wonders how exactly you managed such a feat. dan heng is reserved and guarded and whilst he considers the crew his family, she knows there is no one he fully trusts with all his secrets. she can't blame him, but it is the truth. 
yet within months, you have quickly become his closest confidante.
“what are you working on today?” you ask, flipping through the scattered books and documents on his desk. 
he glances over to you, and even from where she stands, march can tell his gaze is impossibly warm.
“penacony,” he says. “there is much i have to cover.”
you nod, though when your attention strays and you meet his eye, you wince. 
“aeons,” you murmur, brows drawn slightly. “did you even sleep last night?”
march watches with a dawning sense of awe when you bring your hands to cradle his face, and he doesn't flinch away. no, on the contrary, his eyes flutter shut, and he leans into the touch subtly. his tail has curled itself around your leg now, snaking all the way up to your waist.
“i… i may have lost track of time last night,” he admits softly.
you huff, squishing his cheeks. “you can't do that. you'll ruin your pretty face.”
for a brief moment, march contemplates snapping a picture of the scene. she decides against it. even she knows this is something much too private to be watching. still, she's a busybody through and through.
he doesn't retort, nor does he do any of the things he usually does.
instead, dan heng chuckles, soft and contented and everything good in the world. he's so utterly smitten it's almost sickening.
march slips away, her next destination caelus's room. that loser owes her a thousand credits.
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