#as long as he keeps doubting himself and pitying himself he won't be able to reach the strength he longs for
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t-u-i-t-c · 1 year ago
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chapter xlii
#kr saber lb#kr lb#umbrella.posts#umbrella.thoughts#i feel like storious was always a little off like he has always been planning things and sneaking around#it feels like as soon as they found wonder world he was ready to go after the power but even before that he didn't have the best intentions#so when tassel says that things wouldn't have ended up this way if ww wasn't found in some respects he's right#if storious hadn't has access to power than he may not have become a megid but that doesn't mean he'd be a good person#it feels like he doesn't ever think anybody is really genuine and if they don't hold personal value to him they don't matter but even#if they do they could easily become disposable under the right circumstances#idk i just feel that he somewhat cares about others in a way but he also cares more about what he wants#the parallels between desast and ren are really nice#i like the black and white visual of desast coming apart like a ribbon being pulled#it's the idea of not having meaning that gets me#ren doesn't have a prominent place amongst the swordsmen and feels like an outcast as he cannot seem to get as strong as them#but he also can't understand how they got so strong even when it's explained#as long as he keeps doubting himself and pitying himself he won't be able to reach the strength he longs for#but when he does he has a group waiting for him and people who believe in him#with desast he was made on a whim and serves no real purpose nor does he feel he has friends#in a way ren believes he is alone but desast is truly alone#if they can remedy desast's loneliness that would be great
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lyrefromthesea · 4 months ago
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Male Hashira x Reader - Livin' on the Farm
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author's note: this was a request, but i've managed to accidentally delete my whole inbox. as a result, i can only work on the requests i still have in mind or in my drafts, apologies.
request: how would the hashira react as livestock on a cow hybrid farm with a new farmer!reader? (i was mildly surprised when i read they get milked by their cocks. it made me laugh without a doubt.)
pairing: Tengen x reader, Obanai x reader, Rengoku x reader, Sanemi x reader, Giyuu x reader, Gyomei x reader
content warning: nsfw, probably cum as milk alternative?
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Tengen:
• Obanai and him were the first to spot you. they initially thought you were another cow hybrid that got transported to the farm.
• he'll quickly realize that you're, in fact, just a human, who had been given the duty to watch after the livestock here.
• he's one of the biggest cow hybrids you'll find, only smaller than Gyomei, but much more territorial. he has no problem seeing you with the other cow hybrids unless he wants you alone, it'll instantly get his mind to sync with his more animalistic instincts.
• how they behave when it's time for milking: he won't walk to the machine alone, you have to bring him there every time it's his turn. has no problem letting you put the pump on his cock, but gets whiney when near the end.
• "it's enough, i can't make more milk.. take it off, how am i able to produce more like this?" luckily for him, you listen to his whines. truthfully, he could probably get milked one or two times more, but you still take pity on him.
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Obanai:
• like i mentioned earlier, Tengen and him were the first to spot you, confusing you for another cow hybrid at first.
• it took him a minute or two to realize you were just a normal human. his tail had already started swaying slowly by then, leaving the impression on his mind that you were fragile and needed protection.
• he was really silent at first. he's not the most social person and it's seldom someone new arrives at the farm. it doesn't take him long to warm up to you, seeing how you quietly sneak him treats, because he tends to eat less than the others.
• how they behave when it's time for milking: while Tengen only lets himself get milked when it's necessary, Obanai finds the building pressure uncomfortable at some point. he'll quietly approach you by then, giving you a glance that has you realize what's wrong.
"i'm sorry, Obanai! How long did you stand there? You could've said something." you had been working around the farm, it took you a while to notice others during that timeframe.
"not long.. can you..?" he's shy to ask, but never disappointed when you immediately agree and guide him to the milking machine.
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Rengoku:
• Gyomei and him met you last. you were supposed to check on the livestock, having walked towards him because you spotted Gyomei near.
• Rengoku sat up, head poking out of the hay to get a sight of the new farmer. he immediately liked you, you looked like a nice person with a big heart, albeit a bit shy.
• he has a habit of exploring, often forcing you to search for him. somehow you'll always find him sitting somewhere on the meadow, doing whatever seems fit to him.
• how they behave when it's time for milking: he's up for it, often already waiting near the milk machine so you have an easier job. it's the least he could do. he doesn't complain about the machine, but a few words and a laugh always signaled when he was nearly out of milk.
"i think that's ha- i thinks that's enough.." it doesn't take long for him to be freed of the pump. he tries to keep himself from whining, overplaying it with one of his laughs, but the sight always makes you quietly laugh.
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Sanemi:
• you met him a few minutes before Giyuu. he is truly one of the more tiring cow hybrids. he takes pride in his being and presents himself as a strong bull if you were to ask.
• he had ignored you at the start because, why should he give you attention? you were a mere human - fragile and weak. and-
• and when you pulled on his tail, making him yelp and turn around with wide eyes, you suddenly looked much stronger in his eyes. it was milking time and he had ignored you, that was your revenge.
• how they behave when it's time for milking: he'll trot after you like you're about to give him a punishment. you swear he doesn't stop complaining about the pump, but it's surprisingly easy to put it on him.
"this stupid thing should be thrown away. there's no need to-" will give you a glare and a groan, you turned the pump on without a warning.
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Giyuu:
• he had spotted you before you had spotted him. he had watched your first interaction with Sanemi, not surprised when the other male walked away after a few minutes.
• he just didn't expect you to see him a moment later, walking towards him with a smile. he wasn't a social man, but he quickly became smitten with you when he learned who you were
• nice and beautiful. smart as well and you treated him so kindly - almost as nice as a mate. he'll quietly stay near you from time to time, ready to help but too silent to say anything. the day you asked him for help just made him more fond of you.
• how they behave when it's time for milking: he doesn't complain and lets you guide him towards the machine calmly. he tries to stay silent until the pump has finished, but his small moans and grunts signal that he's near the end with his production.
"are.. are we finished..?" he almost looked disappointed when you took the pump off his cock, he could do more for you! but you know it's enough from the way his eyes almost looked a bit clouded over, ears twitching when he grew overstimulated by the pump.
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Gyomei:
• if it hadn't been for his size, you would've met him last. he was more silent than the other hybrids on the farm, but his presence seemingly was enough to establish some kind of respect for him.
• you knew that he was blind from the information that was stored about the different cows, but you nearly wouldn't have been able to tell by his confident stance.
• he probably spent a long time on the farm, now knowing it like the back of his hand. in addition, he liked following you around, carrying heavy objects for you, because he knew you weren't as strong as the hybrids on the farm.
• how they behave when it's time for milking: he's probably the calmest out of them all. he know what's about to happen and doesn't see a problem, you're doing your job and you do it good for them all. he doesn't complain either, only small shudders indicating that he has had enough time on the pump.
"you're good, Gyomei! you can go back to the others now." you smile, seeing the man slowly stand up. if you hadn't known him so good, you wouldn't have noticed that he's a bit slower after milking sessions.
"do you need help?" you were almost surprised by his offer, but seeing the tall hybrid tower over you made you smile. you wouldn't mind help when it was from someone like him.
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eldritch-spouse · 1 month ago
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I want Breg to grind his slit against mine 😔
The pressure would force his cocks to stay inside, but it would bulge enough to add some bumpy pleasure 🥴
[This is more of a struggle session than actual sex. Fem reader.]
TW: Unhygienic(?)
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You wouldn't exactly say you're a sadist, but it's funny to watch the way Breg reacts to certain punishments.
Because even if this monster supposedly endured a past that centered mostly around the act of mating, it seems he's still far behind most others in terms of creative perversion.
Evidenced by moments such as these, if the way he's nearly visibly fuming trying to understand what you meant is anything to go by.
" You want me to keep them inside? " Breg tilts his head.
" Yep. " You confirm for the third time.
" But that way I can't make love to you, angel! "
" That's the whole point, Breg. "
He frowns, then pauses.
" Can I eat you out? "
" No. "
" C- Can you suck my slit? "
" Nope. "
With every rejection, he deflates a bit more.
The breeder glances at his tail, synapses connecting to form the dubious figment of a terrible idea.
" Can I- "
" No. " You emphasize, giving him a stern look.
The terms have been laid out clearly. After his latest impulsive stunt, which has earned you yet another ban from one of your favorite stores, you've decided Breg won't be fucking you for a while. This means he cannot penetrate you in any way, in any orifice, with any part of himself. And you're not touching his dicks at any capacity.
This leaves Breg with only one ridiculous option, relying on his slit for a mockery of stimulation...
You know it's a bit cruel to take a hypersexual monster's relief away so radically, but these kinds of punishments are usually the ones that stick the most with Breg and reap better results in the long-run. This is a necessary evil if you are to succeed in your seemingly impossible task of adapting this fool of a monster to modern society.
" You're so mean to me sometimes. "
The audacity to call you mean after the scene he made almost makes a blood vessel pop in your forehead.
" You can always wait it out. " As if.
You had a movie lined up to watch together if he miraculously agreed.
" But I don't want to... "
You shrug at the breeder. Then he ought to sort himself out, as far as you care.
Breg whines some more, hoping against all odds that you'd have a change of heart and allow the sweaty, horny monster looming over you to have his way. No such luck.
Sagging in defeat, Breg palms over his pelvis, tracing his own slit but not teasing it directly. Just enough to make himself shudder and huff. His unseen eyes are fixed on you while he paws at himself like some pathetic creature, you can only imagine half the scenes that must be unfolding in that fried brain and causing his hips to shift forward occasionally.
Frankly, for as much as he complains, Breg would be able to get off just fine if you told him he could only look at you. He's just that easy.
When Breg dips to shamelessly huff at your neck and chest, you lean your head to take a look at the situation below, finding the breeder already soaking the couch with the precum dripping off his slit, two fingers hastily stuffed in there, no doubt trying to stimulate the tips of his cocks.
He's a smart-enough guy, he knows this is the only way he can directly stimulate them. One miscalculation and they'll slip out, immediately ruining his chance to get off around you.
That doesn't make it any less of a pitiful, almost comedic act to see. The puffs of his hot breath around your neck cast goosebumps across your skin as it becomes humid, Breg breathes shallower in an attempt to get as much of your scent as he can, speed his own motions to keep up a semblance of stimulus. The monster groans something against your skin, his dominant arm straining with effort and fast, slick sounds ringing across the room. If the way his tail thrashes is any indication, this isn't really doing it for him, but he's trying.
And that matters.
" Good boy. " You encourage him, a small hand holding his head closer to you.
Although he gasps and moans in delight at your praise, Breg's irritation only grows. " 'S not enough... " He huffs.
" Yeah it is, you can get there. " You're fairly certain Breg could get off by just moving his hips against air.
" Noo- " His fingers' motions slow rapidly. " I need more, need to mate you- "
" Nope. "
" Angel please-! "
" No. "
Breg takes his hands off his pouch and buries his head on your chest, swaying in the discomfort of his own arousal.
" Please please please please please- "
Gods if his begging never fails to make the temperature in a room rise some degrees... But you can't be that weak willed with a monster like Breg, it just doesn't work.
" Not happening. And if you keep complaining then I'll just leave. "
" No- " His claws nearly sink onto your sides from the quick hold he established at those words. " No please, I'm sorry. "
You roll your eyes. " Apology accepted. "
Again, a few seconds pass as the breeder thinks of what he can do to make things work. You let him have all the time in the world to come up with an idea, because you would also struggle in his place. There are moments where Breg looks as if he wants to give up, but his determination to satisfy his desires has always been stronger. At some point, he settles on what to do, and the first move is to start tugging at your comfy bottoms.
" What are you doing? " It's more genuine curiosity than anything. You told him he couldn't eat you out, after all.
" Don't worry about it, angel. "
All you do is squint and watch as Breg quickly removes your clothes and dips between your legs. Although aware that he can't sample you, he decides that there's no issue if he flattens his tongue against your panties. Breg hums, disappointed that there's little taste but that of cotton, no matter how hard he presses against the folds of your clothed cunt.
His teeth catch onto the fabric while he begins to pull it down, removing the garment, another flash of pain on his face at knowing that he can't dive for the gold.
Once your panties are out of the way, you get to watch the monster think about how he's going to do this.
He tries to slot himself between your legs the way he normally would, pressing himself as close to you as possible. The results... Weren't that great. Breg tries and tries to readjust, but he's not getting the needed friction every time he awkwardly humps.
With a muffled curse, he pulls back and starts brainstorming again, moving parts of you from side to side, impatient. You roll your eyes throughout it, eventually ending up with one leg spread the other pushed up- Not the most comfortable.
Breg shifts then, twisting himself to fit the way he wants, like some kind of puzzle piece. More importantly, you now get what he was trying to do all this time, achieve friction from his slit directly to your pussy. Brow rising, you actually wonder if this will work for him.
Little did you expect that it would work for you too...
By sheer virtue of his frustration, the force Breg uses to grind his slit against your entrance applies enough pressure that it feels as though your clitoris is being squished and rolled around just right, making a shiver crawl up your spine at the sudden stimulus. Every muscle in his body tenses with his effort to find the perfect angle, the perfect rhythm, leading to some very frantic humping in-between harsh grinding rolls.
You didn't really expect to get invested in this. It's just a punishment, after all. But the breeder's misery proves to be a reliable and effortless source of consistent pleasure, enough that you're getting wet and biting your bottom lip, encouraging him with a few of your own motions to aid his pace. As wet as you may be, Breg manages to be wetter, soaking your cunt with his precum that allows for a steady sort of slide against each other.
Your excitement seems to be the missing trick, for as soon as Breg senses it, you can feel the way his cocks angrily push at a barrier they're not allowed to break, causing his slit to bump out humorously- But deliciously so.
Breg sweats and pants as if enduring a great workout, unsubtly drooling out the side of his mouth, grit-teeth betraying a pathetic fight for a climax that might not come at all. Eventually, his complexion starts twisting in a shocked and confused expression.
" What's... What's wrong? " You'd been clutching one of the cushions by now, hoping this would either make you climax or just feel good for a while longer.
" It feels- Feels weird. " The monster groans. " Keeping them in for so long... I- Hnng- "
You can only imagine what it must be like. It occurs to you that maybe, just maybe, his cocks swelled enough with desperation that they might be stuck in his body, squeezing against each other, unable to move. If it were painful, Breg would have gotten scared and stopped most likely, so you assume he's just crumbling under way too much pressure on his lengths.
" Ah, they're stuck? " You tease.
He halts entirely. " N-... No. "
You've said this a couple of times, and you'll say it again, one of Breg's few redeeming qualities is that he's a terrible liar.
" Then, I guess you can pull them out. "
" Huh?! " Had there not been that layer of skin in front of his eyes, they would have popped out his sockets. " Really? You mean it?! "
" Of course. " There's a limit to your blatant sadism. Or maybe not, because you know damn well he's not going to be able to push them out under this much arousal.
Breg immediately pulls back from you, holding still as he tries, rather humorously, to relax enough that, miraculously, his cocks protrude.
It's not happening. The monster huffs and whines, getting upset at himself as he even resorts to reaching in with a digit. No results.
Mildly amused, you push him further back, so that you can sit on the couch while he stands, nearly at face level with his poor, puffed slit. Small hands cling to his thighs as you rest your chin on his skin and glance up.
" Come on, Breg. I'm waiting... Don't you want me to play with them? " Your tongue hangs out, taunting and soft and warm.
If he wasn't desperate before, he sure is now, tail swishing near violently as he realizes his predicament. Helpless, the only thing Breg can do is thrill himself with the view of you so very eager to suck him off, and nudge his wet slit against your face. White claws reach down to grab locks of your hair and play with them, stroking over the sides of your cheeks and bringing you closer, as if that would fix the situation.
Ultimately, the only solution would be for him to calm down, because only with less arousal would his members deflate and his slit stop tensing enough for it to work out. But Breg has put too much work into this exercise to let it go to waste, so he's reluctant to back down.
In the end, all the breeder does is groan, almost on the verge of crying, while he attempts to get you to touch him at any capacity. Gentle hands palp the overheated and swollen skin.
" Please just- " He huffs, the denial and frustration melting into a desperate discomfort that has him rolling his head back. " I just need to cum, Angel please. "
Gave up, did he? Adorable.
Breaking the rule set earlier, you dip to kiss Breg's leaking slit, a short tongue ravishing it from top to bottom. Even when you try to squeeze it in and directly lick his throbbing cocks, they're so tightly packed together that you can hardly flirt with either. It doesn't stop you from trying.
On his end, the breeder seems grateful at last, taking this as the opportunity it is by rapidly grabbing both sides of your head and clumsily, feverishly, trying to roll his need against you. Again, he achieves a gross sort of hump against your beautiful face, even the protrusion of your nose serving to stimulate him further as he all but nearly rubs himself all over you.
With your ears covered by pale, wide palms and constant mouthfuls of overheated flesh coated in the tang of precum, you fail to pick up on the increasing volume of Breg's cries, the way they become monstrous and shameless in his finally approaching peak.
In the end, the only tell you have is the rapid twitching of his slit, the way his legs tense and the shifting of his buried cocks, before he bursts.
Maybe oozing is the appropriate word here, you'd say, because the only way Breg's seed can escape him at all is through thick globs pooling at the edge of his pouch and being subsequently pushed out by the remaining shots of his pent up load, dripping warmly to coat his hips and ass.
" A- Ahhn- "
Breg lets go of your head to whine and gasp, hisses making it through the gaps between his teeth, the sensation apparently being foreign and intense to him. He still moves his hips, perhaps hoping that he can grind it out of him faster, or maybe that's just his way of riding out the orgasm without being able to stroke himself.
It shouldn't be turning you on so much to watch the monster struggle, his overstimulation rising as trapped members are forced to keep in contact with his own hot cum, still sticking and dripping off him in a depraved show. Breg shudders, his tail wrapping around your leg for a semblance of comfort while you pet his cheek, greedily watching.
Only after a decent pause of trying to ride it down does the pressure deflate enough to give him some actual relief. The breeder growls in genuine pain when his sore slit is stretched enough, finally allowing two blue, half-hard cocks to pop out, coated in a sheen of his own seed and still pulsing from what you imagine must have been an peculiar climax.
" See? You did just fine. " Praising the horn dog after successful training is key. His shaky smile is all the confirmation you need.
It's a bit hard to resist torturing him a bit more, you think as you sink to your knees in front of the mess he made.
" Now, sit still so I can help clean up. "
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elysiaheaven · 2 months ago
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𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐚 𝐠𝐨𝐝𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐬-𝟗-(The Fox's wedding)
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You stood there, the remnants of the Borisin monster dissolving into the ground, you turned to Jiaoqiu, your expression softening ever so slightly. He still appeared shaken, his red eyes flickering with doubt and disgust, unsure of how to react to what he had just witnessed. You stepped toward him, closing the gap between you.
"I know the difference between a monster and a human," you whispered, your voice a gentle but chilling murmur. "What I did? That was on purpose."
Before he could respond, you wrapped your arms around him, pulling him into a tight embrace. His body stiffened at first, the unexpected intimacy catching him off guard. Your presence was cold and unsettling, yet there was something undeniably magnetic about it, something that made him hesitate instead of pushing you away. You could feel his heartbeat quicken, though his face remained expressionless, as if trying to mask the conflict inside him.
"You have nothing to fear," you added softly, resting your head against his chest. "I'm only like this because I have to be."
Jiaoqiu's hands hovered awkwardly for a moment before one of them gently landed on your back. "Do you even hear yourself?" he muttered, his voice low. "You're... terrifying, and yet..."
He trailed off, but you knew what he meant. 
Leaning back slightly to look at him, you smiled—a smile that was both unsettling and oddly comforting. "You'll never have to worry about me, Jiaoqiu. I'll protect you from everything, even myself. I know exactly where the line is."
His gaze hardened, but he didn't push you away. "You keep saying that," he whispered, more to himself than to you. "But I wonder how long until you cross it."
Your fingers grazed his cheek, and you tilted your head, studying him carefully. "Maybe," you said softly, "but when that happens, will you still be able to tell if I'm the monster or just the human left behind?"
Jiaoqiu's silence was telling.
Jiaoqiu's words cut through the air like a sharp blade. "I don't need it from you. You're a *monster*," he spat, his voice as cold as the void. You stood there, frozen, the weight of his words sinking in. Your expression dulled, your eyes hollow, the light that once flickered within them slowly dimming. It felt like a punch to the chest, but you didn't flinch. You had heard worse before—this was nothing new.
"I tried..." you muttered to yourself, more as a reminder than anything else. "I really tried to be good."
He didn't say anything, just stood there, arms crossed, as if waiting for you to snap. But you didn't. Instead, you looked up at him, a faint glimmer of something fragile behind your dead eyes.
"Can I ask for one thing?" you said softly, your voice almost breaking.
Jiaoqiu looked confused, wary even. "What?"
You bit your lip, knowing the answer before you even asked. "Can I kiss you? Just once."
He narrowed his eyes, suspicion clouding his features. "Why?"
"Because after this... it won't matter. You're going to hate me no matter what I do. I just want to feel it—just once. Then you don't have to show me any affection again. I won't need it to become human... there are other ways."
He looked away, torn between disgust and pity, but he didn't refuse. After a long silence, he finally leaned in and gave you a small, fleeting peck. His lips barely brushed against yours, and it felt more like a formality than anything genuine. But still, it was enough to stir something deep inside you, something raw and painful. You closed your eyes, savoring the brief moment, even though it meant nothing to him.
When he pulled back, you smiled bitterly. "Thanks," you whispered. "It was nice... even if it meant nothing to you."
Jiaoqiu remained silent, his expression distant. He looked away, as if the sight of you now was too much for him to handle. You could see it—his disgust, his disdain for what you were. And you were done trying to convince him otherwise.
"I'll be out for a while," you said, your voice numb as you turned toward the door. "I'll walk around the streets... clear my head."
Without waiting for a response, you left, the door closing softly behind you. 
You wandered through the streets, your steps slow and heavy as the weight of Jiaoqiu's rejection bore down on you. The soft murmur of people around you barely registered as you tried to keep your composure, even though every part of you felt like crumbling.
Then, you noticed a mother kneeling down, speaking softly to her child. The child's wide eyes were filled with curiosity, but the mother's tone was stern, filled with warning.
"Remember, my dear," the mother said, "never betray those you love. The goddess of betrayal learned that the hard way, and now she's cursed. Those who follow in her footsteps will turn to stone, just like her."
Your heart clenched. The "goddess of betrayal" �� you had heard that story countless times, whispered in fear and scorn. but only you knew the truth behind it. Only you knew who the goddess really was.
It was you.
The god who was not created by humans....
The god who helped Borisins enslave Foxians.
The god who was responsible for..
Bunch of lies...ALL OF IT!
ALL OF IT! NOT EVEN ONE IS TRUE!
Could you ever understand even a little of my pain ?
Could you ever understand even a little of my sorrow?
WHY?
Haha, hey you! Tell me!
You could feel the tears welling up, but you bit them back, turning away from the scene as quietly as you could. You couldn't bear to hear more, to be reminded again of the endless cycle of pain and mistrust that seemed to define your existence. How ironic, you thought, that even now, even in stories, you were still the villain.
Finding a small, dark alley, you slipped into the shadows, leaning against the cold stone wall as you finally let the tears fall. It was quiet here, and no one would see. No one would hear the broken sobs that escaped your lips as you sank to the ground, curling in on yourself as the memories flooded back. You had tried to be different once. You had tried to be good, to trust, to love.
But they never let you forget.
And now, even in this new life, they still saw you as the monster — as the betrayer.
You pressed your hands to your face, crying softly as the world around you continued on, oblivious to your pain. There, in that lonely corner, you felt as though the curse of the legend was still following you, shadowing every step you took. The tears flowed freely, and you whispered to yourself, "Why did it have to be me? Why am I always the one who's cursed?"
You sat in the alley, your tears barely wiped away, you suddenly sensed someone approaching. The presence was calm but firm, and when you looked up, you saw Moze standing there, half-hidden in the shadows. His expression was unreadable, but his eyes flickered with something close to curiosity or perhaps suspicion.
You quickly composed yourself, forcing a laugh that sounded hollow even to your own ears. "Isn't it rude to stalk a married woman?" you teased, the bitterness in your voice barely masked by the playful tone. You wiped the tears from your cheeks, trying to regain some semblance of control.
Moze didn't smile. His gaze remained steady, unwavering. "Did you really betray your village?" he asked, his tone low and direct.
His question made you freeze. The laughter died in your throat, and for a moment, you couldn't meet his eyes. The weight of his words pressed down on you, forcing memories to the surface that you had long tried to bury.
Slowly, you stood up, brushing the dirt from your clothes. You turned away from him, not wanting to let him see the vulnerability in your expression. "Some stories have to be lied about," you muttered, your voice barely audible. "Sometimes, the truth is too ugly for people to accept."
There was a long silence, the air between you heavy with unspoken tension. You didn't need to see Moze's face to know he understood something more than he had before. He was sharp, always calculating, and now that his suspicions were confirmed, you weren't sure what he'd do with that knowledge.
You swallowed hard, forcing yourself to remain composed. "Don't tell Jiaoqiu," you said quietly, finally turning to face Moze again. Your eyes met his, pleading but firm. "I don't need him suspecting anything more than he already does."
Moze studied you for a long moment, then nodded slowly. "I won't tell him," he said, his voice steady. But then, with a faint hint of something softer, he added, "I won't be cold around you anymore either."
His words caught you off guard. You raised an eyebrow, surprised by the shift in his demeanor. Moze had always kept his distance, and you'd come to expect the same coldness from him as everyone else.
"You won't?" you asked, a small smile tugging at the corner of your lips, though it didn't quite reach your eyes.
Moze shrugged, his usual aloofness returning as he gave a half-smile. "I've decided you're not as monstrous as the stories say. Not completely, at least."
The faint joke caught you off guard, and for a brief moment, you allowed yourself a small, genuine laugh. The heaviness in your chest lifted just slightly, though the weight of your past still lingered.
"Well, that's a start," you said softly.
Moze turned to leave, but before he disappeared into the shadows again, he glanced back at you. "Just... don't make me regret it." His voice was quiet but firm, and then he was gone, leaving you alone once more in the alley, the silence wrapping around you like a cloak.
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bladekindeyewear · 3 months ago
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HS^2 bloggin’ mainline 2024-08-15 continued #2
(Previous post - current page 631)
I should keep it at three liveblog posts at most per day for pacing purposes, so however long this post ends up being (which could still be pretty long, image limit forgiving!), this'll be where I stop it for the day whatever happens so I don't push my mental energy reserves too hard. Now let's see exactly what the fuck Jane was referring to here.
(==>)
JANE: I'm referring to his death. DIRK: (Oh, what the fuck.) JANE: Not saying it's all your fault. DIRK: (Wow.)
Oh that's all SORTS of messed up for her to think.
JANE: Dirk just never *got* you. JANE: He thought he could figure you out, make all the right moves, and you'd be happy. JANE: But people have to want themselves to be happy. JANE: And the only thing you've ever consistently wanted was to be absolved. JANE: I understand that now.
She's not ENTIRELY wrong about Jake's insecurities here, but there were people constantly KNOCKING HIM DOWN by BLAMING HIM FOR THINGS that he then helplessly thought DESERVED his absolution when they were NEVER HIS FAULT, and this couldn't be a more obvious example. Which Jake might fucking recognize and snap the fuck at.
JAKE: ... And? JANE: And I accept you, Jake! JANE: That's why I have confidence our union will endure forever. JANE: You release me of all my doubts. And I can't be disappointed by you. JAKE: Huh... DIRK: (Hm.)
I think Jake isn't coming around to Jane here, really, but actually coming around to HOW FUCKED UP she is, and more importantly, HOW SHE FUCKED HIM UP. The idea that Jane Crocker, never once, actually BELIEVED in him other than believing that he would be OBLIGATED to come back to her, even if she wasn't offering really anything in return in their relationship. He finally got it through his thick head that she was always taking him for granted, isn't he? That even her deepest, most "caring" feelings left for him are pity for someone she's viewed for the longest time as incorrigibly pathetic and not useful for anything except coming back to her?
JANE: I... JANE: Oh, fucking... pixie sticks. JANE: I have to leave for the bridge. JANE: The enemy is moving into position as we speak. JAKE: Do you... JAKE: Do you still need that water tested? JANE: Haha, no. JANE: I drank it all in my hysterics without even noticing. JAKE: And youre okay? JANE: Completely fine! It really was just... water. JAKE: I had hoped! JANE: Hoo hoo, thank you. :B JANE: ...
I don't know if Jake is really feeling sympathy or negative revelation about her, here... or possibly a combination of the two.
JANE: Listen, Jake. JANE: I won't be able to really talk for some time once this whole final battle shebang kicks off, but I need you to know. JANE: I am sorry. JANE: For a lot of things. JANE: I promise. JANE: I just need you to believe in me a little while longer. JAKE: Of course janey... of course. JAKE: I... love you. JANE: I know, J. JANE: I know.
No... you finally proved to him that you're not WORTH BELIEVING IN.
That's what I think he's about to discuss with himself (and BGD).
(Jake: Calmly assess the situation.)
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PFFFFF OMG AFTER THAT LINK TITLE XD
JAKE: Fuck!!! JAKE: Why did she have to go and build a moon laser!!! JAKE: Why did she have to go and JAKE: And SAY all that!!!
Hearing her open up with heartfelt feelings, towards HIM, for the first time in what feels like forever, likely has him so conflicted now even though he KNOWS what has to happen.
DIRK: It's not over. DIRK: That moon laser doesn't mean shit. JAKE: ...if theres no one to press the button? DIRK: Boom. DIRK: Or, you know. DIRK: No boom. JAKE: Her guard is down... DIRK: And you have a gun. JAKE: I have TWO guns. DIRK: Let's be real, this wouldn't even be the first time you've thought of it. JAKE: Its... an option.
He hasn't thought of going after the laser ITSELF yet, but he needs to remember he's a God-Tier Hero of Hope and that destroying a moon laser is a whole lot easier than destroying the woman he still feels something for. He'll come around in this conversation, likely.
DIRK: Or. DIRK: You help her win the battle. DIRK: Avoid baptizing the Earth with laser-fire. DIRK: And she uses The Point, and the world doesn't end. DIRK: Probably. DIRK: Who the fuck knows. JAKE: What should i do? DIRK: I'm not gonna tell you.
Even though he's talking to Dirk, he's also still in a sense only talking to himself.
JAKE: I already know youll want me to do whats heroic. JAKE: But you wouldnt want me to kill jane either. JAKE: Would you? DIRK: Stop staring at me like I'm gonna tongue-kiss the answer into you, dude. DIRK: You know what you need to do. JAKE: But jane was right about me! JAKE: I cant be trusted. JAKE: I dont even like 99% of people. DIRK: Then do it for one person. DIRK: Aren't you tired of spreading yourself thin trying to believe in everything? DIRK: Because it's looking pretty fuckin' likely that the future where Tavvy is happy and the future where Jane is alive don't coincide. DIRK: You have to kill one for the other to survive.
Now THIS is Rage talk from Dirk here. This isn't HOPE talk. Jake is going to realize that there's hope for BOTH people he cares about to survive... and all he has to do is think of flying into space and destroying a freakin' moon laser. The Page of Hope come into his role is going to be someone who can find a path of possibility that saves what they care about without Dirk's brand of brutal compromise.
JAKE: It sounds like youre gunning for her. DIRK: It sounds like *you're* gunning for her. DIRK: Say what you will about Dirk, but he always wanted you to be your best self. DIRK: He pushed you hoping if he did it hard enough, you'd push back. DIRK: That's a far cry from whatever neutered domestic purgatory Jane's offering you. DIRK: Wasn't it nice to be believed in, man? JAKE: Ugh.
Dirk was never good for him either, and didn't know the right way TO help Jake become his best self other than inflicting cuts to his soul that only delayed and decreased his capacity to believe in himself.
JAKE: Can i make an honest query? JAKE: Did i really kill him? DIRK: Hm. JAKE: I did, didnt i? DIRK: Common sense says no. JAKE: Cant you swing that one by your esoteric telepathic dirk connection? DIRK: That's a tricky fuckin' wicket, man. JAKE: Its "sticky wicket". DIRK: It's nothing, because that's a stupid fucking phrase cooked up by fake people about a fake sport from a dead planet. DIRK: Anyway, it's tricky because there's not really all that much of anything left of the big man. DIRK: Not here, anyway. JAKE: Oh, baloney! JAKE: Thats not how this works. Youre the supernatural tsaheylu of our combined "steezes". JAKE: This isnt my first ride in the rodeo, mister, I KNOW THE RHYTHM OF THIS BUCKING BRONCO. JAKE: HES STILL HERE, DAMMIT! DIRK: I'm sorry.
Given what we saw with alt!Calliope / AL splitting and reforming, it's indeed likely that he ISN'T still here, that he's practically fully consolidated himself into Ultimate Dirk aside from this leftover memory Jake is keeping just barely alive. But we also know that thanks to his narrative powers, and his immediate response in the bonus material to Yiffy's sudden existence in the (Candy) plot, that part of him is at least AWARE of that plotline and some of what's happening outside of Canon, even if he's too far away to influence it.
This is also likely about Jake accepting Dirk's death and moving on, though. Because Dirk's eliminationist "one or the other, but not both" advice and insistence on sacrifice isn't what he needs right now.
Maybe it's time for Brain Ghost Dirk to disappear?
(==>)
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DIRK: He's gone, dude.
Oh damn, the eyes. It's exactly as he said: This Candy timeline's Brain Ghost Dirk was always just a part of Jake. Just the memory of his friend alive within him, him talking to himself.
Jake has to accept his friend's death to move past his brand of advice, the advice he counted on of a friend who was in ways toxic to him and couldn't lead him to true Hope.
JAKE: OH FUCK OFF. JAKE: YOU CHARLATAN. DIRK: Yeah. JAKE: HORSES ASS. DIRK: Get it all out, man. JAKE: YOU MALEVOLENT MASCULINE MALFEASANT. DIRK: I know a crisp glass of personal culpability isn't what you ordered, but hey. DIRK: It's better than relapsing.
You did pick a hell of a time to show him this, but you probably picked the right time, at least.
DIRK: It'd be the only reasonable excuse you'd have for nipping this uncomfortable epiphany in the bud so you could slink back to following orders from Dirk. JAKE: ... JAKE: Gods hooks, i backflipped right into my old ways! DIRK: Don't beat yourself up about it. It's a running theme with literally everybody we know. DIRK: You all get caught up in these feeling jams, hugging it out in self-realizational bliss. DIRK: Then, bam. DIRK: Premature ejaculation. DIRK: That passionate growth grind ends before it builds to anything actually satisfying. JAKE: :(
Jake needs to stop imagining there's someone telling him what to do anymore, and decide for himself, saying goodbye to his ghostly imaginary guide he made for himself with his powers. (Also Dirk's metaphors are always gonna Dirk, even when Jake's just imitating them.)
DIRK: You're fully dressed Jake now. DIRK: Sitting on the sticky floor of a custodial closet, hidden away from anything certain and good in this world. DIRK: Alone. JAKE: This is scary! I dont like this. DIRK: Fuck yeah it is. This is sweaty, achey, burning transformation, brother. JAKE: I want to go back! I want to be the other guy again. DIRK: You can't be the other guy anymore, Jake. DIRK: We're sending him upstate to live on a beautiful farm, where they're gonna immediately drag him out back and put him out of his fucking misery. DIRK: Remember when you told Egbert you wanted someone to hold you accountable? JAKE: No. DIRK: Well. JAKE: Nooooooo. DIRK: "Here's Johnny!" JAKE: AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! JAKE: Oh... JAKE: *sniff* JAKE: Oh, dirk...
Finally accepting his friend's death AND his need to act for himself instead of being told what to do isn't an easy thing to do all at once.
JAKE: Cripes, if there really is no magical component to all of this, JAKE: if youre really gone, JAKE: then i am simply a forty year old man... being led by the nose... by an imaginary friend. JAKE: That is not cute. DIRK: It's kind of cute. JAKE: No! JAKE: Its mental illness! DIRK: It can be both.
And you DO have literal godly magic powers helping you do it, if you've forgotten, Jake.
DIRK: Look. DIRK: What you need to do is stop sobbing into your own fucking arms and make a decision. DIRK: Spying for the rebellion, running away... these were steps in the right direction, but they also had, y'know. JAKE: Plausible deniability. DIRK: They were deflections. DIRK: And at the end of the day, that's what choosing Jane would be, too. JAKE: Its odd, but... JAKE: Shucks, i dont want to cut her down right before she makes this big turnaround. JAKE: If shed decided to keep her promise... JAKE: thatd be bitter fucking berries to live with. DIRK: But? JAKE: But she probably wont change, will she? DIRK: Why in the fuck would she? DIRK: She'll have won.
But that also doesn't mean you NEED to kill her. There's a path to Hope that you haven't seen yet and that Dirk can't help you see. (Destroy the space laser destroy the space laser destroy the space laser. FIGURE IT OUT)
(==>)
JAKE: But... i dont think she was meant to be this way. Do you? DIRK: Like, was she born to be a wildly racist dictatorial cake boss? JAKE: Ok, when you put it that way it sounds a bit bonkers. JAKE: What i mean is... JAKE: Take me, for example. JAKE: I know its not my fault janey got a bit rough and tumble with our relationship. That fundamentally, i didnt deserve it. JAKE: But that doesnt exactly make me a mensch by default, does it? JAKE: In fact i worry there might be more of me thats, well... inherently bad than not. JAKE: And thats why everything tends to get so furiously fucked all the time! JAKE: Everyone is waiting around for this better version of me to pop up, but thats never going to happen. JAKE: Because if it did, it wouldn't be me anymore. DIRK: So, are you trapped being Mr. Pissy Pantyloos Loser Man no matter what? JAKE: Sort of. JAKE: What do you think? DIRK: I don't know. DIRK: Maybe? JAKE: Oh...
You have a bit too much trauma that you haven't had any opportunity to heal from to TRULY come into your FULL potential as a Page of Hope, but that doesn't mean you still don't have a lot of power and potential you're still sitting on, only trapped by yourself and your past. All you need to think of is that one key hopeful idea and have the will to use your power for something serious, right now.
DIRK: Here's what we do know: when you face our friends tomorrow, they're gonna be none-the-wiser about the insane masturbatory matrix bullet time battles you've been having with yourself in your own head. DIRK: What will be real to them is what you DID. DIRK: That's it. DIRK: Show them you're trying. DIRK: Or don't, and get left behind. JAKE: Good god... JAKE: This is the worst pep talk... ever. DIRK: It's you, dude, what did you expect? JAKE: True.
It's not all that bad a pep talk, to be honest.
DIRK: Do you want to be left behind? JAKE: No! JAKE: I want to see tavvy grow up! JAKE: I want to choose him! JAKE: But i want to believe in jane too... DIRK: Sigh. JAKE: Listen. JAKE: I never really understood all that much of the "doomed timeline" hoopla you cerebral types tend to gab on about. JAKE: But... its nice to think that there might be countless janes somewhere out there who never stopped being happy. JAKE: Baking, getting up to all manner of lighthearted mischiefs... true blue all around. JAKE: When i think of her, thats whats real to me. JAKE: What she is now, what these rotten unenviable circumstances have made of her, its all just... DIRK: Happenstance. JAKE: Is that stupid? DIRK: Probably, but you're a god of Hope. DIRK: You're a poster-child for making stupid shit feasible. DIRK: And no one has the power to say what's true for every Jane. DIRK: I'm sure if you asked a couple of them how they feel about labor camps and domestic violences, they'd hit you with a "Woah there, buster jones." JAKE: "Thats not for me!" DIRK: "No siree!" JAKE: Hehehe. JAKE: Exactly.
I'm so glad that in some of the bonus material, Jasprosesprite^2 is playing the capricious fantasy psychologist and was on the path last i left off to helping Jane realize that there was a better answer than ruling over the planet herself-- leaving the Agency of Earth C in the hands of the children they'd raised to take it over, because Earth C is something they helped make together but not something they OWN or should command, or would be the best suited to govern.
JAKE: If i can believe in those janes, JAKE: i think i can let this one go. DIRK: Extravagant hoops to stumble through just to keep believing, man. DIRK: It's sneaky. I like it.
Oh, COME ON, can't you just fly into space and kill the Moon Laser instead? It's obvious!!! Still, big move of you (and I agree that this Jane is almost certainly too far gone).
(==>)
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JAKE: Its decided then? DIRK: Seems so. DIRK: You can finally leave the closet. JAKE: Har, har.
OH COME ON DON'T JUST FLASH OVER THERE I WANT TO SEE WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON WITH YIFFY!!!!!!!!!
Also it looks like Yiffy might NOT have been setting things on fire, and that the red flashing may just have been the battle alert they received, plus Vrissy's reaction at seeing Yiffy for the first time.
JAKE: Goofs aside, old buddy... JAKE: I get the strange sense i wont be speaking with you again. DIRK: You won't. Why would you? DIRK: You're normal now. JAKE: But- DIRK: You don't need him. JAKE: It feels good to pretend, though. JAKE: To hold on a little while longer. DIRK: Don't. JAKE: Fine! Fine... JAKE: Hope is the crummiest aspect of the lot, huh. JAKE: I swear the only time its worth a lick more than delusions and hot air JAKE: is if it really fucking hurts. DIRK: Welcome to being a person, Jake English.
Hope is incredibly important if you can find a path through that nobody else can, instead of letting the breadth of possibility paralyze you with indecision. (STOP THE MOON LASER INSTEAD OF ATTACKING JANE YOU WON'T WIN THAT WAY)
(Page of Hope: Rise up.)
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What a hilariously yet perfectly understated panel for that title!
(John and Vriska: Touch down.)
JOHN: whew! JOHN: that was quite the race. VRISKA: Race? VRISKA: C'mon. VRISKA: That was 8arely a warm-up! JOHN: jeez. JOHN: i guess i'm out of shape. JOHN: i didn't even know you could BE out of shape with magical floating powers... VRISKA: Well, that's what sitting around like a depressing 8oring loser for sweeps gets you! VRISKA: You'll just have to get 8ack IN shape. JOHN: man, i guess so.
If he really turned on the Windy Thing powers he probably could have blown through them and outraced her, but he'd need to believe in himself a little harder and be a bit more confident for that, and he's not QUITE there yet-- not as far gone as Jake was though.
JOHN: hey, now that i've got you here, why did you lead us directly to the meteor? JOHN: we did both kind of mutually mention that there was a transportalizer pretty much directly to the lab in roxy's house, right? VRISKA: Sure. And? JOHN: well i just think maybe it might've been a little less risky to go that way, instead of weaving through battle ships and cross fire and all that war junk. VRISKA: Less risky, may8e, 8ut also wayyyyyyyy less fun. VRISKA: C'mon, wasn't it a pretty sweet joyride? VRISKA: It's nice to give the ol' wings a stretch! JOHN: hehe, that's true.
Being like an action movie star really DOES feel fun to John, doesn't it? Makes him feel like a useful hero.
JOHN: but i think now that we're here, we should probably get inside before someone notices us. JOHN: roxy taught me a secret knock to use in times like these, she'll reco-
Wait who's going to interrupt?
(==>)
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VRISKA: *KNOCK* *KNOCK* *KNOCK* *KNOCK* *KNOCK* *KNOCK* *KNOCK* *KNOCK* VRISKA: OPEN UP!!!!!!!!
SNERK
Ah, and also they're back to being displayed like the once-children THEY viewed themselves to be, because we aren't looking up at them from one of the children's perspective.
(==>)
SOLLUX: damn dude, to0k you l0ng enough, i'm hungry as hell. SOLLUX: what'd y0u br-
SOLLUX YOU ARE BREAKING SECURITY PROTOCOL YOU ARE A HACKER YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER YOU LAZY ASS XD
(==>)
...You can't even see her, can you? Are those glasses like techno-sight thingies?
(==>)
Him too. How do you know where to look? I half swear you're hiding robot eyes.
(==>)
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SOLLUX: nah.
HAHAHAHAAHAHAH
he doesn't wanna deal with Vriska and John's shit XD
(HOW IS HE SEEING THEM)
Okay time for Vriska to kick down the door (or John to Turn To Wind thing them straight through it, few doors are barriers to him if he has his God-Tier powers in mind).
(==>)
*Shared look of questioning exasperation.*
(==>)
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GOSH ROXY IS THE BEST NO MATTER WHAT EXPRESSION SHE'S DRAWN WITH
ROXY: hey you 2! ROXY: sorry abt him his manners are fuckin atroche JOHN: for real. ROXY: anyway hustle up and get in before someone sees ya ROXY: also john wtf happened to the secret knock VRISKA: Yeah, John! VRISKA: What the hell! JOHN: i- ROXY: move it buster!!
Hahahahahah.
Wait, this next link-- that's right we saw THE SHIP above the meteor in an earlier frame I didn't post, this all means that the kids are ALREADY HERE!@!! (Edit from below: nope I looked again it wasn't, why did I imagine it up in the sky)
(John and Roxy: Co-parent.)
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This frame isn't important and I still love it in so many different ways.
ROXY: oh the kids are safe btw JOHN: that's good! JOHN: wait, they were in danger? ROXY: yeah numbnuts in case u forgor theres a whole ass conflict goin on with kids gettin kidnapped n houses gettin targeted n shit! ROXY: our house bein one of those hice! JOHN: you never told me our house was one of those hice!
What the FUCK is a "hice"?! \*looks up...\*
"Noun. hice. (chiefly humorous, nonstandard) plural of house."
Are you fuckin serious XD
JOHN: you told me to go get vriska, which i did. VRISKA: Actually, I pretty much got myself. JOHN: fair. JOHN: but i collected her! JOHN: you didn't really say anything about harry or the other kids at all. ROXY: oh man ROXY: i guess i kinda didnt huh ROXY: ... ROXY: aw jeez JOHN: hey! JOHN: i'm sorry roxy, don't worry about it, you've got em now. ROXY: what ROXY: no i dont got em JOHN: wait, what? JOHN: then who has them!!! ROXY: rosenaya and jade picked em up while they were ROXY: um ROXY: runnin around outside unsupervised JOHN: oh. JOHN: well... that's good! ROXY: ... JOHN: ... VRISKA: Haha! You guys are terri8le guardians. ROXY: hey stfu
Okay, so (*checks*) the ship WASN'T here yet, my bad. I guess Vriska is going to engage the Plot Point device before they even get here, potentially.
JOHN: yeah, you're one to talk! JOHN: you left your own clone on her own in a dungeon! VRISKA: It wasn't a "dungeon" John, it was a high-security 8lack site! JOHN: that's basically the same thing. JOHN: if anything it sounds a lot worse! VRISKA: She could handle it. VRISKA: Unlike your lame-ass offspring who need to 8e gru8sat by an entourage of armed guards, I can tell that she's got that patented Serket panache. JOHN: technically she's a maryam-lalonde. VRISKA: Sure, whatever. VRISKA: The point is, she's a Vriska. ROXY: whatever is right VRISKA: Hurry up and walk faster!
Vriska heard the Plot Point was a superweapon and she can't wait to get some shit done with it.
(==>)
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You can practically SMELL Vriska drooling at the shrouded appearance of the most plot-significant thing she's seen in this entire timeline, and she think it's a "superweapon" designed just for HER.
CALLIOPE: hello! CALLIOPE: i'm so glad yoU all made it back alright. ROXY: oh it werent no thang baby i was just answerin the door CALLIOPE: not yoU, silly! ROXY: hehe VRISKA: Ew. JOHN: (a little, right?)
SHUT THE FUCK UP they're adorable together!!! Let them be sweet on each other! D:
CALLIOPE: salUtations, vriska! CALLIOPE: i mUst say it's a pleasUre to finally make yoUr acqUaintance! VRISKA: What the hell is that thing? CALLIOPE: hee hee, gracioUs. CALLIOPE: yoU're as rUde as i imagined yoU'd be. VRISKA: Not you. I know who you are. VRISKA: *That* thing! CALLIOPE: oh! CALLIOPE: yes, that'd make sense.
Pfff.
OKAY IT'S TIME TO SEE THE DEVICE, I'M EXCITED
(==>)
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SHE'S fucking adorable too! GOSH I LOVE HS^2'S ART SO MUCH.
CALLIOPE: that, my narratively significant friend, is the reason we've called yoU here!
Time for the reveal--!
(==>)
CALLIOPE: allow me to introdUce...
PULL IT BACK
The Plot Point.
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THAT'S SO FUCKING COOL LOOKING
CALLIOPE: The Plot Point.
What's with the colors on the left and right though? The spirals on the dragons? It's...
OH! The left spiral is in Roxy Lalonde's God-Tier Void outfit colors and the right spiral is in Calliope style. The combination of their talents and engineering. An infinity-like sideways hourglass up top. The Rogue of Void and the Muse of Space once again combining their talents to create a miracle. I love this.
(==>)
CALLIOPE: er, technically, the machine stabilizing The Plot Point. CALLIOPE: the actUal Point is that ominoUs looking bit in the middle! VRISKA: That's it? CALLIOPE: that's it! VRISKA: It looks sort of small and shitty. CALLIOPE: it's actUally anything but! CALLIOPE: it is paradoxically massive, and incomprehensibly powerfUl! CALLIOPE: so mUch so that the fact that anybody was able to contain it at all is a miracle in and of itself. CALLIOPE: bUt as mUch as i'd like to sit here and congratUlate myself on the achievement of its stabilization, more miracUloUs still is what we intend to achieve with it.
Is it the remnants of the hole alt!Calliope / AL tore open to escape the Black Hole, is it the center OF the singularity itself, or is it an encapsulation of Paradox Space? Or multiple of the above?
CALLIOPE: and yoU, vriska, are going to be instrUmental to the sUccess of this endeavor! VRISKA: No shit! VRISKA: That's kind of my whole thing. CALLIOPE: yoU're more correct than yoU know! ^u^ CALLIOPE: as we've already explained to john, this world is cUrrently mired in a state of, well... let's call it dUbious pertinence. CALLIOPE: a- VRISKA: I fucking KNEW it!!!!!!!! VRISKA: John, didn't I tell you? VRISKA: I totally did tell him. VRISKA: I've 8een saying that this world is complete 8ogus for ages now, and no8ody's 8een listening! VRISKA: Yet here I am, right again. VRISKA: Shocker! VRISKA: You should listen to Calliope, John. VRISKA: They may have pretty weird taste in fashion, 8ut they o8viously know what they're talking about where the shitty fake shitness of this joke of a timeline is concerned. VRISKA: Clearly we need to do something. CALLIOPE: Um. CALLIOPE: that was perhaps a tad redUctive, and sort of rUde, bUt yoU're certainly correct in yoUr assessment that something has to be done aboUt this!
Pretty much!
CALLIOPE: i'll keep this short. CALLIOPE: i know john's already heard a good deal of this explanation previoUsly, and yoU seem to be catching on quick! CALLIOPE: so! CALLIOPE: earlier, yoU mentioned that yoU've had a keen sense from the beginning that something was amiss here. CALLIOPE: althoUgh oUr world isn't necessarily "bogUs" and it certainly isn't "fake", per se, we are in effect completely cUt off from the wider canon of reality, to borrow a phrase from a slightly earlier me. CALLIOPE: we're kept qUarantined here by means of existing within a massive black hole, from which escape seems essentially impossible. CALLIOPE: that's where yoU come in! CALLIOPE: yoU see, we're hoping to leverage yoUr Unique hyperrelevancy here to- CALLIOPE: oops, let me back Up.
Back up to what?
CALLIOPE: the reason we broUght yoU *here*, specifically, is becaUse The Plot Point over there corresponds to the singUlarity at the exact center of oUr aforementioned plot prison! CALLIOPE: important bit of info, that! CALLIOPE: now, to reiterate, we want to escape that prison. CALLIOPE: and not jUst as individUals, either; no, the hope is that we'll be able to emancipate oUr entire world from this narrative pUrgatory and retake oUr place in the limelight!
Oh it was the SECOND THING-- the singularity itself, the normally-inescapable mass concentrating this entire timeline and all other fan-timelines in a prison nothing can normally escape, but that a Thief of Light as incessantly relevant as Vriska -- possibly with the help of an Heir of Breath, the aspect of freedom and escape -- to help them escape the black hole, and perhaps live outside Paradox Space still but still RELEVANT outside its influence, because Paradox Space itself is an entirely different sort of prison, of plot and canon that they would only want to tie themselves to enough to maintain coherence and escape the black hole garbage bin of irrelevance, I imagine.
CALLIOPE: to do this, we aim to become Uncontainable, and to do *that* we're going to Use yoU, a potent plot player if ever there was one, to crack the black hole wide open by, well... CALLIOPE: by interacting with the singUlarity! CALLIOPE: by reaching The Plot Point. CALLIOPE: now there are qUite a few ways this coUld practically shake oUt, and more than a few methodologies we coUld have yoU try. VRISKA: (...) CALLIOPE: the first thoUght was just to have yoU "make something happen" here, something significant, mind. CALLIOPE: bUt what woUld that really entail? CALLIOPE: contriving an entire scenario for yoU to play a pivotal role in, here at the center of all things? CALLIOPE: i did consider it, bUt it felt... CALLIOPE: well, inorganic. inaUthentic. CALLIOPE: and if we're going to make it oUt of here, inaUthenticity is the exact opposite of what we need to achieve! VRISKA: (........) CALLIOPE: which broUght me to wondering how someone like yoU might Utilize The Point itself, as a tool rather than a locale. CALLIOPE: how yoU might wield it!
I guess Roxy and Calliope (or at least, THIS Roxy and Calliope) haven't quite worked out the plan for exactly what they should do now that they've gotten to this point. But the way Vriska is acting, I think she's thinking of something. No matter who may or may not agree with her.
CALLIOPE: perhaps it's a portal, and we'd send yoU throUgh it? CALLIOPE: or maybe we'd have yoU ferry Us all throUgh it? CALLIOPE: thoUgh how woUld that work? CALLIOPE: alternatively, maybe it'd be as simple as having yoU attempt to destroy it! CALLIOPE: and-
I have a feeling that Vriska wants to do something that might let her PERSONALLY escape this timeline and return to the "real" canon one, to a realm of relevance herself... possibly forcibly dragging John along with her if she feels like it, but likely all on her own. And I'm not sure, but I think she wants to see Terezi again. And there's only one place she can find her.
I have a feeling whatever is about to happen isn't exactly what I or anyone else expects, though.
How is she going to steal enough relevance back from Canon to infuse this place with promise? *IS* she going to, or will she try to do her own thing and only accidentally do so, or end up fucking up and needing to be freed by John, or even have John himself be responsible for allowing them to escape the prison instead of Vriska?
(==>)
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VRISKA: ALR8GHTY! VRISKA: Just... shoosh, lemme stop you right there. CALLIOPE: :u VRISKA: I don't have all day to sit around listening to a frumpy exposition creature.
*snert* exposition creature
JOHN: but you said t- VRISKA: 8up 8up 8up! VRISKA: You too. VRISKA: Here's the story. VRISKA: It's o8vious to anyone with half a pan that this whole shindig is pretty much cosmically clusterfucked, top to 8ottom. VRISKA: Equally o8vious is that I'm gonna 8e the one to fix it, 8ecause when am I not? VRISKA: And what's 8ecoming even MORE o8vious to me is that none of you actually have any REAL idea of what it is I need to 8e doing here! VRISKA: Theories, may8e. VRISKA: 8ut nothing solid.
That much is true.
VRISKA: So while I'd love to sit around listening to more academic conjecture on the ifs ands or 8uts of what EXACTLY this thing's deal is and what we should or shouldn't may8e do with it, I actually wouldn't love that at all, and am not going to do it, 8ecause it'd be a waste of my time. VRISKA: And no offense to this whole plane of existence, 8ut I've had just a8out as much as I can handle of wasting my time in here. VRISKA: It's time to kick off the training wheels and do what I do 8est: VRISKA: Figure shit out myself. VRISKA: So sit tight and leave the rest of this to me! VRISKA: You can thank me when I get 8ack.
I guess even though she's going it alone for herself, this all might work out after all? Vriska's gonna Vriska, but maybe that's not so bad here.
OH AN [S] PAGE OOOOOO
[S] (Vriska: Figure shit out yourself.)
Whoa that animation was cool as SHIT. And what was with the spinning hourglass...
VRISKA: You're welcooooOOOOH SHIIIIIIIIT-
PFFF
(==>)
That hourglass do be doing a REAL SPINNY STILL.
ROXY: wow JOHN: yeah, she's... JOHN: well, just as much of a card as i remember! ROXY: just as much of a jerk maybe CALLIOPE: she definitely was not very polite. CALLIOPE: bUt... CALLIOPE: i guess she did more or less end Up doing something! CALLIOPE: so i sUppose we shoUld chalk that Up as a win and a job well done? JOHN: i don't know... JOHN: i was kind of expecting something a bit more... JOHN: more plot significant? JOHN: i guess?
You don't quite know what she's going to DO in there though... or how important it's going to end up having made Vriska's experiences in this timeline, because whatever she ends up pulling off has to make (Candy) more important than a doomed timeline in sealing its need ineffably in the course of events of the future, present, or past of all Canon.
ROXY: callie CALLIOPE: yes dear? ROXY: is vriska right CALLIOPE: right aboUt what, dear? ROXY: about the fact that u dont actually know wtf we were supposed to be gettin up to here CALLIOPE: well... CALLIOPE: Um, more or less, yes. ROXY: bb are you srs CALLIOPE: oh dear. CALLIOPE: did i neglect to mention that i only really had a solid grasp on the inaUgural steps of this whole Undertaking? ROXY: um ROXY: YEAH CALLIOPE: oops! ^u^; ROXY: shit yeah callie that is kind of a fuckin oops!
Again... especially with the PRECISION with which this machine is made, I believe Roxy and Calliope are perhaps unknowingly collaborating with the OTHER Roxy and Calliope who are helping write the (Candy) storyline altogether.
ROXY: you said you were being compelled by like hella visions n premonishes n mysterious psychic spatiotemporal intuitions n i kinda figured that meant you had this shit all ttly comprehended! CALLIOPE: i'm sorry, roxy! CALLIOPE: it absolUtely wasn't my intention to mislead yoU or to overrepresent my level of Understanding of the process. CALLIOPE: it's jUst that, well... CALLIOPE: yoU remember how we got so wrapped Up in the initial excitement of finding the singUlarity and the rUined jUjU arch, and sUbseqUently stabilizing it with oUr sUper cool cherUbic-lalondian tech... ROXY: its true our tech really is so fkn cool...
EX-FUCKING-SCUSE ME DID YOU SAY RUINED JUJU ARCH!?!?!?? Who the fuck was responsible for THAT?!? For ALL of these devices!? I still have to play Hiveswap Chapter 2 but I feel like that won't give me answers yet either if I had to guess!!!
CALLIOPE: and then, well... it felt like we were on sUch a roll when we came to the conclUsion that we needed to leverage vriska's hyperrelevance to scUrry oUt of here... ROXY: we did have a whole bunch of high fives about that... CALLIOPE: it was an exhilarating breakthroUgh! CALLIOPE: and an eqUally exhilarating high-five session! CALLIOPE: bUt then the conflict began to ramp Up, and yoUr son got into all those shenanigans, and i wanted yoU to feel like i had everything Under control down here so yoU could attend to it! CALLIOPE: and all that notwithstanding, we really DID need to hUrry Up and do SOMETHING. CALLIOPE: i worried that perhaps yoU'd be a bit relUctant to pUll the trigger on this if it felt like all the details weren't lined Up. CALLIOPE: and so i... CALLIOPE: well, i sUppose i might have implied a more complete knowledge of the a to zed of all this then i actUally... possessed. CALLIOPE: and continUe to possess. JOHN: well, but you don't possess it. CALLIOPE: no, i'm afraid not. CALLIOPE: u_u ROXY: urgh callie i gotta say this feels sorta less than ideal ROXY: but i guess wcyd
Yeah, it was only a slightly dick move and the Rogue of Void is going to forgive this sort of white lie easily enough in their relationship. It makes sense.
JOHN: wow. JOHN: feels kinda nice not being the one getting chastised, for a change! ROXY: john shut ur insensitive blabhole or im gonna chastise the shit out of u JOHN: jeez!
Yeah butt out Egbert!
JOHN: just trying to think solution here, but is there something *we* should do? JOHN: should we maybe, i don't know... follow her? CALLIOPE: oh, i woUldn't recommend that. CALLIOPE: whatever's going on in there is likely to be extremely dangeroUs, and scarily... CALLIOPE: specific. JOHN: it's dangerous and you let her jump right into it? CALLIOPE: well she didn't exactly give me mUch of a golden window of opportUnity to try and talk her oUt of it, now did she! CALLIOPE: besides, what exactly was i sUpposed to say? CALLIOPE: "hello vriska, lovely to make yoUr acqUaintance, so glad yoU coUld make it to oUr little soiree, woUld yoU mind doing something of particUlar significance next to, bUt not within, that crackling narrative nexUs of swirling spacetime? by the by, i'm not actUally sUre as to what, and in addition to that the forces at play here coUld qUite easily rip yoU or perhaps even all of Us along with oUr entire plane of existence to pieces if yoU're not exceedingly carefUl so do take a second or two to think aboUt it?" ROXY: i mean mb that woulda helped ROXY: but rly it sorta seems like she woulda just jumped right tf in anyway JOHN: yeah.
Is John going to have to save Vriska from a Black Hole with his powers like I long falsely theory-foretold back in the original run of Homestuck? Once she's done her thing? John is pretty much the only possible person who could pull her back out of there. It'd be the complete embodiment of his God-Tier Heir of Breath role.
JOHN: ... JOHN: well, it doesn't *feel* like we're all being ripped to pieces. ROXY: ya im feelin pretty structurally intact, hbu callie CALLIOPE: whole and one! SOLLUX: yeah i'm all go0d. ROXY: oh damn dude, when did u get in here- ROXY: wait tf ROXY: are those my chips SOLLUX: i guess they were.
Pfff
banter banter banter...
SOLLUX: anyway what's going 0n in here? JOHN: hmmmmmmmm. JOHN: i wonder what IS going on in there.
Oh I love the next link title (but why is she grumpy though, is this AL/alt!Calliope we're cutting to?)--
Grumpy Exposition Creature: Exposit.
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let’s have a look, then. as ever, faced with the desperate scrabbling of those who would overstep their bounds, it falls to me to clear things up. unfortunately, what’s been started here is now beyond my ability to curtail. what i can do, however, is show you all the consequences of the actions of those who would leap before they looked, and at the very least offer you a reprieve from tiresome conjecture in favor of equally tiresome deus ex machina.
Oh god, that's ominous as fuck. Alt!Calliope / AL is definitely pissed that the (Candy) folks besides the chosen few she brought along had the cheek to interfere and make the Canon timeline even more sprawlingly complicated without the ability to loop to a neat close.
Oh look at those brackets to represent the inside of the Plot Point, those are new? Have I finally almost caught up? ((NOO I WANTED TO SEE MORE YIFFY!)) I sniffed a glimpse of a 3D-or-game-like-looking something somewhere on tumblr or twitter or Patreon or the like in the midst of my efforts to immediately look away from anything close to a spoiler, so I sort of am expecting that I might be about to be shown something that would otherwise be surprisingly interactive and three dimensional soon...
[S] {Vriska: Come to.}
That was an ORANGE Sburb house like Dirk's color in the loading, or perhaps orange for Light colored?!
It's her old home... but in a white void with black clouds... ominously surrounded by horses...
{==>}
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Home again, like the so distant past. Complete with the shitty "doomsday device" Eridan helped her build that never worked.
{==>}
She walks up her old stairs. Alt!Calliope/AL narrates...
they sent the thief here in search of power; the power to escape the containment i so painstakingly set up for them. she may well find it, though once again at no small cost to the integrity of this narrative, to say nothing of their tragically crumbling world. in fact, they’re quite lucky their meddling hasn’t immediately engendered the exact sort of catastrophic collapse my vibrant counterpart so flippantly theorized could occur. they must have friends in high places.
Friends in high places? Like the readers, or Andrew Hussie, or perhaps (Meat) Callie, who likely helped write this outcome?
If I had to guess, Alt!Callie thought this prison, this CONTAINMENT, would be a blessing... that perhaps the influence of non-Canon on Canon should be minimized even if non-Canon were to decompose into chaos and irrelevance. She believes this to hold nothing but danger and regret for them all. I think she's going to be proven wrong... but why is she so certain she's right about it? Quite ominous indeed...
Is it the remains of the collapsed Green Sun? Something Vriska would have the power to steal, something that might be powering the very existence of the (Candy) timeline though not sufficiently enough to keep it going for much longer without "crumbling" anyway?
{==>}
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Whoaaaa.
when all is said and done, however, they’ll find the reward for their transgressions ill recompense for the price they paid to receive it. the black hole could only ever shelter them for so long, and in their haste to shrug off my protection they have opened the door to something far, far hungrier.
What... fandom demands? :?
{==>}
Vriska's old room...
this is not the salvation they are hoping for.
{==>}
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DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < meow! VRISKA: AAAAAAAAH! VRISKA: What the fuck are you doing here, Nepeta!
AhahAHAHAH!!! HAHAH! They live! :D
They couldn't be what AL was alluding to, could they? Time powers and fanfiction-love condensed into an oddly gender-euphoric-seeming fusion that loves themselves and knows the meaning and importance of Heart just as well or better than the Prince of Heart?
Vriska didn't meet this one for long, right, or ever? Hence confusing them for Nepeta?
{==>}
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THAT'S WHERE ALL YOU OTHER MISSING SPRITES HAVE BEEN BESIDES JASPROSE
DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < davepeta actually DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < but i gotta say its pretty refurreshing getting hit with nepeta instead of dave fur once! DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < everynyans always dave dave daving me and its like um YEAH maybe i AM half walker texas rapper with a sick pair of shades and some pretty funky ideas about what is or isnt funny and for what reasons DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < but i am also half straight up mewjoshi with a super clean trenchcoat and very obvious kitty ear horn things! DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < so thank you fur that DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < its very validating
Multigendered plural fusions need their validation just as much or more than everyone else, really. :D
VRISKA: Okay, well. VRISKA: What the fuck are you doing here, *Davepeta*. VRISKA: What the fuck am *I* doing here! VRISKA: What in the FUCK are you, me, and all the rest of these multichromatic circus freak rejects doing in my hive?! DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < just kinda hangin out!
Is this like... a prison for everyone deemed too inconvenient to serve in the plot of even (Candy)?
{==>}
ERISOLSPRITE: wwe'vve been here for liike a miilliion fuckiin 2wweep2. DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < actually we just got here DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < this place didnt even exist until she popped in ERISOLSPRITE: gue22 ii'll fuck my2elf. DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < sprites go where guidance is essential!
Hmmmmm.
Friends in high places... Perhaps all of Skaia and/or the Horrorterrors combined wills also sanctioned this plan in the end? Because when they were created, or WILL BE created in Meat's timeline potentially, they'll eventually see and know something very important about what's possible here and how essential it is?
VRISKA: Ooooooooh, are you going to lead me to the weapon? VRISKA: Is it one of my doomsday devices? VRISKA: It totally is, isn't it. ERISOLSPRITE: 2et iit off, free u2.
Oh, hahah, Erisolsprite! You're so hilarious, wanting to unalive yourself all the time. Hahahah! Hah. :x
VRISKA: God, causality is so o8sessed with irony, even though it's such a useless joke for o8scene tools. DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < the only weapon in here is curled up snoozing all dormant and cute in your bloodpusher! VRISKA: Really? That's stupid.
It's not! Vriska is the Thief of Light.
If she really understood what that meant, then redistributing relevance is the exact and ultimate weapon needed for this situation. Even Callie and Roxy guessed THAT much, though Vriska perhaps still doesn't know enough about her potential to understand what she can actually do.
Also "in your bloodpusher" could indicate in your Heart, the ability for Vriska to interact with her broader Soul back in Paradox Space...
...Hopefully we don't need her to become an Ultimate Self version of herself? Because creating Ultimate Vriska would ABSOLUTELY open the door to "something far, far hungrier" in a way that might be dangerous to absolutely everyone.
DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < *vriska stalks menacingly but ill informedly all up in here like "ummmmmmmm where am i what are you doing in my hive is the jank ass rube goldberg machine i built as a six sw33p old gonna fix everything?" because apparently thats so much less stupid* DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < just spaying DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < actually yuck i dont like that
Yeah that's a step too far a pun, and also probably not how Davepeta wants to roll.
VRISKA: If it's just me, then why the hell are all you guys here? DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < we rolled through so we could shepurrd our little eight legged sh33p to some helpfur self reflection
Yep... the biggest weapon is potentially Vriska performing some self-discovery and learning more about her title and aspect than she was willing to before-- learning about the real power she commands, which is so SO much more than just "luck".
VRISKA: I came here to save the world! VRISKA: In case you haven't noticed, the only thing showing up in MY reflection is a perfectly adjusted 8adass. DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < s33 that f33ls to me like an insane thing to say DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < does that not sound insane to you fefeta? FEFETASPRITE: 3833 < 383 DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < not very adjusted at all VRISKA: I need to adjust my way out of here. DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < tough kitties! DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < s33 you just bapped the nail on the head DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < this is exactly why youre here DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < you gotta work on your shit vriska serket!
I really like this. I really like seeing ALL of these characters sorting out the worst of some of their unresolved issues. And this childhood room and Vriska's childhood fantasies are at the heart (Heart!!!) of a lot of her desperation and neediness, and inability to look past HERSELF to find who and what she can truly be if she tries. These sprites are together to help speedrun her through a whole successful Sburb session's worth of growing up.
DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < *gears up to lay the fuckin smackdown on you all wrestler style but maybe also rapper style but the rapper is also a therapist who doesnt take shit from anybody and beats their clients the fuck up EMEOWTIONALLY but i guess in a productive way!!!* DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < you meow a big game about doing shit that matters and saving the world and being right all the time and making tough calls or whatever the fuck DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < but more often than not youre just tearing through life taking a big dump in its litter box and kicking your collitteral all ofur the place! DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < fluff that! DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < you wanna save the world so bad? DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < youre gonna have to save yourself first
Let's gooooo! :D
(I wonder if any of the transfem Vriska toblerone stuff is going to play into this incidentally, while we're this far in her past, or if as i hear that was only possibly hinted at mainly in Pesterquest or something else I haven't played.)
{==>}
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DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < and were all gonna help you! DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < whether you like it or not
Are those ghosts from the Ghost Rain back in (Candy) that I haven't heard about since, when all the dream bubbles fell into the black hole?
{==>}
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the fuck am i looking at XD
Okay, THIS is the 3D page I think I saw hinted at coming up, deliberately misleading link title and all:
{S} Begin Session.
Oh, "welcome to hell" and it's page 666, too, hah.
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There was a prompt for a CHAPTER SELECT at the beginning so there's likely to be too much content here for me to screenshot much of, nor text I can highlight and paste properly, so I'm just going to comment on what I'm seeing when it's relevant as I play through this little game thing and paraphrase instead of using whole quotes unless something's so important I can't convey it with a screenshot alone.
We're first revisiting the cliff that Vriska threw Tavros off of. Vriska needs to confront why she fucking did that and that she ought not to have, but what exactly pushed her into it besides Doc Scratch. All the pressures she grew up with, and why she gave into them, and that she was... well, raised wrong and made wrong decisions that she needs to psychologically unpack to find herself. Her real self beneath all the bluster and arrogance and wrecking of shit.
--Ooh wait, the menu has a "Download Log" function, I'll use that if I need to to copy-paste text if needed (but I'll mostly focus on getting through this and commenting)!
*click*
Weird music. Egyptian out of nowhere. Have we crossed Charon's river?-- no wait that's greek. Oh jazz too.
VRISKA: wow, hell was right.
Again I'll try not to quote everything and just allude or paraphrase. I wonder if this beat is implied to be something Davepetasprite^2 would have mixed together.
Vriska thinks she's faced with the "ghosts of her past" and needs to "sort it out", hm. A shallow approach but we'll get to her depths soon enough.
Wait I tried the Download Log option to try and get the transcript to quote Vriska's "speedrun enlightenment" (lol good luck) line, but instead it was just the game's debug log. And the other menu... SKIP UNSEEN TEXT AND AFTER-CHOICES?
Oh man, this is an adventure potentially with CHOICES where we keep skipping back to figure out how to best get through a situation isn't it and see her go through each of the options??? :D (Or is at least built on an engine that does that?) Fucking sick! It even SAVES AND LOADS. Is it big enough to NEED that?!
I'm just gonna dive into this and comment lightly so I can get through it myself if you don't mind.
Continuing Tavros's segment...
We're replaying a point in her past where Tavros is near that cliff, and Vriska hasn't killed OR disabled him yet...
I feel fine about killing Tavros, and he's certainly ok with it now. The situation's sorted!
BULLSHIT IT IS. Let's see you being forced to introspect here, I can't wait.
It could have 8een any number of things. I did a lot of things wrong.
Yeah, BUT WHY? You haven't fucking confronted it yet.
Oh now she's pulling out the thing Rose just did with "It all worked out in the end so it was the right thing to do", fuck that. Fuck that. Learn.
{Hours Later, but not many.}
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WHAT IS THAT ANIMATED LIP QUIVER SHE'S GOT TO BE FAKING IT
VRISKA: ...I'm sorry I said your lusus "smelled like tears".
So she's thinking that apologizing for everything she ever did is going to help, here... she might even be working herself up about it, making herself genuinely emotional if I don't get psyched out on the next click. But apology isn't enough here... she needs to learn about HERSELF, and why she did what she did, and what she would RATHER HAVE DONE if it came down to it, rather have done FOR HERSELF and not just for everyone else's.
And perhaps, words aren't at all what matters here. It's hard for a Light player to figure out, but words don't mean much. Only actions.
Clicking forward... yep, it's not progressing. And she's being "sincere a8out at least 80% of these", hahahah.
((Also I forgot that the infinity symbol on her eyepatch lines up with the sideways hourglass on the plot point machine and would be the perfect accoutrement to her becoming her Ultimate Self, too.))
Whoa.
Hold on.
I know it's a common phrase in Homestuck. SO common a phrase that I never... fuck... how could I be... the fucking person who wrote that Ultimate Riddle post and not make this connection?
The game keeps asking her, keeps asking and asking her the exact same question:
"What will you do?"
A phrase repeated dozens and dozens and dozens of times throughout all of Homestuck. And idiot that I am I never ONCE thought to REARRANGE THE WORDS.
Because the answer to the Ultimate Riddle is theoretically:
Do What You Will
THE ULTIMATE RIDDLE POST IS LITERALLY ELEVEN YEARS OLD HOW DID I NOT ONCE MAKE THIS FUCKING CONNECTION
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
(Okay calm the fuck down, focus. Back to the game.)
Is that the lesson she's finally going to learn, here???
Let's keep going and see.
...(more clicking)
"What will you do?"
Huh... Vriska thinks Tavros ought to want revenge against her for what she did to him. That's one of the biggest things she has to unlearn.
VRISKA: It's like I'm always saying, words are meaningless. VRISKA: What we need is action.
Nice callback but no you don't always say that asshole! I mean, you've been saying it lately... but also running from your problems with it.
VRISKA: The reason I'm stuck here is 8ecause I don't owe you plac8ing apologies VRISKA: I owe you revenge. It's just that easy!
None of this is EASY. That's been your issue. You haven't even admitted when it's been hard except for fleeting moments of pure anger and frustration.
VRISKA: You have to throw me off this cliff.
Pffffff
TAVROS: vRISKA I DON'T WANT TO DO A REVENGE ON YOU
Thank you, Tavros, but it's not going to be that easy to get it through her thick skull.
VRISKA: [live out the rest of your life] Here on Alternia. VRISKA: Before everything goes wrong. VRISKA: You can kill me now. VRISKA: 8efore I screw your life up.
Tavros didn't want Vriska to just disappear. Not back then, and not for a long time now.
Oh and now she's literally REPEATING the crime of trying to FORCE HIM TO KILL HER that she did on the quest bed. She has to reckon with THAT too.
Hm-- it's only giving me one choice, huh? I wonder if more will open up if/when we come back to this scene?
{Thief: Do the right thing.}
Manipulating him, stealing his will to FORCE him to kill her. Just another crime for the pile, really, not a solution.
{It's really for the 8est.}
VRISKA: Good luck.
Wishing luck to someone ELSE instead of herself, huh.
{Adios, Toreador.}
The music fading off...
SHING
She's literally GRINNING to be dead.
{==>}
Only to wind back up on that same beach she started the Plot Point in.
YEAR 2
HOLY FUCKING SHIT
OKAY MAYBE THIS IS GOING TO TAKE HER A WHILE!!!!
I guess that while the other folks in the Candy timeilne grew up around her, she's still younger... still has LITERAL growing up to do to match up with them. So that hourglass wasn't a joke, this is almost like a TEMPORAL SINGULARITY, a hyperbolic feelings jam time chamber.
Fascinating. (Click.)
Davepeta roleplaying, heheh. Always happy to see it.
Oh, Vriska has a tank top and her hair tied back. She's going to grow up, steadily and slowly, through all this.
"the breaking of cycles, dissolution of the self, whatever other philosophical rhetoric bill murray said in that one meowvie", huh? I do feel more like we're aiming for her to reach her Ultimate Self here, perhaps...
Yeah no shit Vriska's going to be depressed after two years trapped here with her past problems, unable to even die to escape them.
Asking Davepeta to please tell her, HER, what to do, and not in a flighty spritey roundabout way. Hmm. Let's see if they answer, and let's see if she's finally ready to listen.
You think "sweeps of my life are 8eing w8sted here", huh? Your immortal life, you mean? And you don't know that there's time compression going on in here yet, perhaps.
DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < trust me i'm trying!!
D'aww, they look so bashful about failing to help, here.
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Hahahhaah, that IS an issue isn't it! ...Huh. I wonder who WOULD be able to relate to her enough for her to listen to, that she would actually be able to take the advice of. Aradia? But is any version of her or ghostly imitation even here?
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I know I'm wasting the image limit a little here but THAT'S WAY TOO CUTE, seriously I love how happy Davepetasprite^2 is with BEING themselves all the time.
Ooh, if you don't watch the groundhog movie you're gonna have an even harder time of this. Two whole years and you didn't watch Groundhog Day for a hint to get out and solve your psychological problems?
DAVEPETASPRITE^2: *the fearsome gender neutral lionesster pins down its prey but instead of getting down to business growls out how the prey deserves this for being a big disappointing pussy*
Fuck I love that, "gender neutral lionesster" complete with that portmanteau at the end, that's valid as heck. Validation of ANY sort breathes life into my lungs.
Whoa... five choices, three of them grayed out, and "Check back later!" at the bottom. No wonder there's save slots, so this is going to be periodically updated?!?
Flarp manuals will bring us back to Tavros for sure... Let's see if that's something new and doesn't bring us back. (Click!)
VRISKA (angry): "I've apologized, I've killed you, you've killed me, you've paralyzed me, disfigured me, we traveled the world together." VRISKA: "We 8uilt you an army, had several revolutions, you got to do your little dance a thousand times over."
Oh she even replayed her LATER adventures with ghost Tavros?
Sure, but what did she LEARN from any of this, about HERSELF? What is she WILLING to learn about herself?
Oh.
Oh my god.
Oh my god this whole time she's never asked him to "participate in activity of his own choosing". SHE'S NEVER ASKED HIM WHAT HE WANTED TO DO THIS ENTIRE TIME.
SHE'S FINALLY LEARNING ABOUT WILL! ABOUT THE BALANCE TO FIND WITH ALLOWING OTHERS AGENCY!!!!?!
Let's see... yep, he wants to play a game.
Because he used to play games all the time with the likes of Vriska... and he enjoyed himself, until she betrayed him and threw him off a cliff. For the first time EVER in her life, Vriska is trying to see what Tavros actually wants without deciding it for him.
{Play game.}
Vriska is baffled that even though she won, Tavros is still happy to have played the game. Even when Tavros was losing, he was STILL ENJOYING playing games with her. He always had.
He doesn't CARE that much about losing. She's never understood, been able to relate, to that. To her, losing was like death.
To him, losing in a new and different way is an adventure.
I'm loving all of this so much.
VRISKA: Damn. VRISKA: That is quite possibly the gayest thing I have ever heard someone say, Nitram.
PFFF I DID A SPITTAKE ALMOST
TAVROS: wHAT DOES THAT WORD, EVEN MEAN VRISKA: I don't know! It's a human word Dave would repeat all the time 8efore I started using it against him.
OUCH, on the meteor trip? Ouch ouch ouch! XD
VRISKA: It's 8asically what you tell people when you think they're 8eing inane and need them to shut up. TAVROS :wELL THEN, vRISKA, i THINK YOU, aRE gAY TOO,
BAAHAHAHAAHAH PREACH
TAVROS: yOU AND I, aRE BOTH STUPID GAY, TAVROS: nOW BASED OFF THE RULES OF GAY, wE HAVE TO SHUT UP AND GAME, VRISKA: I'm not gay, stop saying I'm gaaaaaaaay!!!!!!!!
I'M FUCKIN DYING XD
Tavros is right: If someone didn't lose, following all these game rules wouldn't be fun. If you can't love losing at least a little, you can't truly love playing games.
PFFFHAHAHAH he remembered something for a split second to make a point and then went back to not and Vriska is losing her shit.
She's remembering why she hated him so much... how she HAD to hate this attitude of his. I'm guessing in part it's because thanks to her lusus, SHE NEVER HAD THE LUXURY OF LOSING, THAT WAS DEATH TO HER. Possibly LITERALLY death, to not win and feed others to her mother.
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OHOHO SHE ACCIDENTALLY REVEALED HER OWN FEELINGS!!!
VRISKA: I think if a certain uppity human was here, she'd call it "projecting."
SHE'S FINALLY FUCKING LEARNING
Tavros laying it down that he always REMINDED HER OF ALL OF HER FEARS. THAT'S why she always hated him.
TAVROS (eyebrowsing): i LOVE NOW KNOWING, tHAT YOU HAVE PROBLEMS,
Oh that's gonna get to her. XD
They could both be projects for each other. Oh gosh it's actually showing how they could have had a HEALTHY rivalry or relationship in some other quadrant where they improved each OTHER, and Tavros showed her how to be comfortable losing and not always having to concern herself with survival.
Aw he's feeling "inspired" (Breath)!
...whoa. Tavros laying out some alternative gender fantasies here? The nice and soft bronze fairy, and she will be super nice and awesome because everyone likes her?
VRISKA: Let's play some games for girls.
Yeah!!!!!!!!
Oh my god Tavros really DID have a character sheet for a female Bronze Fairy character that was a Tavros-like mirror to Vriska's Blue Fairy and he's embarrassed to say it. This is pretty incredible, I love how much Gender they are stuffing into all of these updates.
And yeah Vriska, it's the first time you've really listened to him. Really, ACTUALLY been not terrified to listen to him, and tried to understand how he feels without your defenses all the way up to just drive over him whenever he made you uncomfortable, or literally ever.
VRISKA: This whole time I thought I was supposed to 8e pushing you. VRISKA: It's soooooooo o8vious now, that was pretty fucking stupid of me. There was nothing I could have done to change your mind, huh? ARADIABOT: exactly
AAAAA aradiabot jumpscare! Right at her important psychological revelation! D:
ARADIABOT: y0ure finally starting t0 get it
And I'm so glad of it.
{==>}
Vriska's finally taken a step forward after all these years trapped here, and she's flabbergasted.
LoMaT and Aradiabot, now.
VRISKA: Are you... aware of the situation? Does this mean I finally cleared Tavros and you're the next level of helltier?
Well, yeah I think so pretty much.
ARADIABOT: i w0uldnt say that ARADIABOT: m0re acurately this is the b0ss fight t0 drive the p0int h0me
Oh?
Yeah, Vriska still thinks this purgatory is about punishment, or atonement, instead of LEARNING. About herself, about her friends, about GROWING as a person.
VRISKA: It's not........?
Two years slow on the pickup! WOW that's a thick layer of problems for Vriska to work through all at once.
Oh what a callout... good point Aradiabot, telling it straight to her that VRISKA was the only one satisfied by Aradiabot giving her the smackdown and killing her. That she wanted to be hated, judged, and that was the thing that she couldn't stand about Aradiabot the most.
ARADIABOT: what i meant was that y0u got what y0u always wanted ARADIABOT: y0u were ex0nerated vriska thats what its always been ab0ut
Yeah, she's always wanted someone to make her pay.
VRISKA: I never once asked to 8e f8rgiven for free, I always paid the price!
No, you believed in the false power of redemptive violence. You never confronted why you did what you did in the first place, you just used exoneration as an excuse to not work on the problem at all in yourself.
ARADIABOT: wh0 can aff0rd t0 care when they kn0w y0ure g0ing t0 hurt them again?
FUCKING PREACH.
No, Vriska, getting beaten and bruised and mutil8ed and h8ing yourself doesn't fix the problem. Redemptive violence is a myth. You have to confront why you did what you did inside YOURSELF and cure yourself of the root cause.
Oh wow, "What will you do" growing on the screen like this...
Yeah, Vriska's not going to manipul8 aradiabot into caring. That wouldn't accomplish anything, and she's moved past really, truly, being willing to try that anyway.
ARADIABOT: y0ure n0t here t0 be redeemed vriska y0ure here t0 grow up
Exactly. ...And kind of fun that Pupa Pan Tavros was her first and hardest test, in that light.
--Vriska doesn't even understand what that MEANS yet, being asked to grow up! She doesn't know what growing up REALLY MEANS having only interpreted it in the cruel Alternian context she internalized while being raised!
ARADIABOT: d0 y0u even want t0 be that b0ssy br0ad?
YES CUT TO THE HEART OF THE MATTER. That Vriska doesn't actually enjoy BEING this thing she thinks she has to be. That the badass bossy broad she's convinced she SHOULD be, and plays the part of, was never what would truly make her happy and was NEVER going to avoid hurting everyone else. And deep down, she hates that she hurts people. But she's convinced herself she never had a choice.
...Yeah, Aradiabot, preach it. Paraphrasing her, even at her "most useless self", there's a place for Vriska in the world and people in it that want to share a life with her if she'd let them.
Pfff, Aradiabot's "0o0" face at her asking "am I the problem?"
ARADIABOT: i am g0ing t0 expl0de again
LOL
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People have been telling you that your entire life, Vriska. You've just never listened. <3
ARADIABOT: 0f course! ARADIABOT: y0u already have
EXACTLY-- both before and even in this very sequence, ESPECIALLY in this sequence with Tavros, quite significantly!
--pff she's shocked and confused that Aradiabot thinks so
Yeah, she's grown steadily throughout all this, she's not the same as she was as a kid-- and she still has MUCH more to grow to TRULY grow up, and has taken an enormous step just now with Tavros's memory whether she realizes it or not.
ARADIABOT: "that aligns with y0ur aspect" ARADIABOT: "light players define themselves by their direct acti0ns and understanding"
Agency and Information, yeah! (Though that sort of goes somewhat against how I was saying earlier to Sollux's ominous portent how the Life/Doom axis was better about defining oneself by their actions; perhaps not by their actions but by... hm. Light players concern themselves more about agency (the ability to act) and then the MEANING of those actions, whereas Life players just DO and don't consider the meaning behind what they do as closely, don't LET IT DEFINE themselves as much, perhaps. Is that close to how I've described it before? I need to remember I'm learning from what the story is telling me, not JUST trying to fit it into my preconceived notions, as tempting as that is.
And yeah, a Time player gets to understand how these cycles of growth and then stagnation loops keep happening, the picture of Vriska as a person growing a bit but getting complacent and comfortable and slipping back into bad habits.
Vriska is barely but still willing to accept that there is "some8ody out there still w8ing for me, even after all my fum8ling". (SPOILERS VRISKA, IT'S TEREZI, YOU DUNKASS!)
Vriska says she's wondering whether she and Aradia, despite everything that happened, could have ever been friends.
ARADIABOT: y0u mean if y0u had put in the time and w0rked 0n wh0 y0u are and bec0me ultimately the best versi0n of y0urself? ARADIABOT: hmm ARADIABOT: n0 VRISKA: !!!!!!!! VRISKA: C-can I 8sk why???????? VRISKA: D8 you h8 me that much? ARADIABOT: i d0nt hate you ARADIABOT: but i d0nt want to spend my time 0n y0u either VRISKA: 8ut!!!!!!!! ARADIABOT: v.v VRISKA: ........ VRISKA: ........ ok. VRISKA: Ok.
Vriska was always SO DESPERATE for Aradia to feel SOMETHING towards her. Even hatred. And she was always denied. But not everything is meant to be. And even if she can become a better person, you're not always going to gel with everyone.
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This is all so wonderful.
{Vriska: Take Aradia's hand.}
The quest recuperacoon where she ascended...
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This is the last image I can put in this post and it made me teary-eyed the instant I saw it and it's still making me teary-eyed. Wow. Fucking... wow, this... this entire trapped-in-a-time-singularity psychological confrontation and growth experience Vriska is undergoing... this is better than anything I could have asked for, for her and from this story. I love this all so much. So fucking much.
VRISKA: 8ut I am actually sorry. For everything. TAVROS: yOURE RIGHT, iT'S DEFINITELY POINTLESS TO SAY, bUT, iT IS AN APPRECI8TED GESTURE };)
{==>}
VRISKA: And, it's not going to 8e the same again. VRISKA: I'll stick with it this time. I promise. ARADIA: we kn0w ARADIA: y0u have t0 ARADIA: n0 0ne else is g0ing t0 save y0u n0w VRISKA: 8ecause it's just me left? ARADIA: yes ARADIA: its just y0u ARADIA: g00d luck vriska ARADIA: i h0pe y0u get better s00n
Even the infinity symbol on her eyepatch has broken just a little bit, like a broken cycle. That got a couple actual tears out of me. This is incredible.
{Level Complete!}
...She's reached the "8OUNDARY RESPECTER" level on her weird new hell/perdition-themed solitary-candle-in-the-darkness echeladder.
Wow. That was just... incredible.
Mindfang's journal is next, but I've hit the image limit, and it's a miracle I've had the energy to push through and liveblog morning to night like this today... but it was all so amazing I couldn't stop, and for now I HAVE to take that image limit excuse to pace myself and not complete that final sequence that's currently out, just yet. I'll probably liveblog that tomorrow... and if I have energy, maybe even check out some of the commentary, unless that's pushing it. Gosh I love this webcomic so much, everyone. This is better than anything I could have possibly expected to happen when she used the Plot Point.
Oh my god... it's called {S} Begin Session because it's an extended THERAPY SESSION. :DDD
Thanks for being on this journey with you guys later, and I'll be caught up soon! There's no way I'm going to be able to get through ALL of the Patreon/bonus commentary I've missed since HS2 resumed in one day, and I can't guarantee I'll even start on it, but by sometime tomorrow I'll be caught up on Homestuck^2, posted, finally and waiting for the next part of this game on Page 666 with bated breath like everyone else, ready to liveblog it within a day or two of each new upd8 while I gradually crawl through whatever bonus material I haven't covered. :D
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mindsmade · 3 months ago
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⁶⁾ a hospital waiting room with only one other person in it ( for Shawson perhaps 👀 )
meme
A lone salarian sits at the far end of the row of chairs lining the clinic's wall. Something about that sight almost stirs Aiden to pity — almost. It's not a feeling that's easily cultivated in him, with his war-torn heart hardened and its capability for empathy flattened because of it.
Still, with nothing but another lengthy wait ahead of them and an anxiety-infused silence between himself and Miranda for now, his mind begins to wander — and wonder, at that.
Another victim of the war, herself? Or is she awaiting news from one, locked away in a room a few doors down the hall?
The answer eludes him, and so he drops the matter. There's a whole world turned to ash out there, beyond the panoramic window spanning the width of the wall his bed – with him in it – was placed beside.
He'd get up and pace around if he could, but that's the entire point of the awkward position he finds himself in: will he be able to walk again at all? More at five, he supposes — literally. Ten more minutes of waiting for the radiologist to call them in.
It's not for a lack of trying, at least — on both ends. She'd poured all of that unique expertise of hers into his recovery ( again ), most of all when he was out cold for weeks on end ( ... again ).
His part in that recovery only followed after waking. He did the damned exercises he's been given; he did drag himself behind a walker and let a VI jammed into a mechanical body do the hardest work for him when told to, both at immense cost to his pride.
'Promising,' they'd said. All he heard ( or felt, at least ) was 'disappointing'.
And Miri'd tried to get him to see the good in his progress, or to recognize that there'd been any at all. This is just meant to be the beginning — but it's all too slow for him.
These things take time.
Too much of it, to his mind. He's told her that, too.
She hadn't said anything after that, just like she isn't saying anything now. The silence beckons his attention towards her and away from himself. That, somehow, opens his eyes to something that seems all too obvious now that it's revealed itself to him: she's there with him — not only physically, here, in this almost-empty hallway; she's with him in this uncertainty, too.
He'd kick himself if only he could.
Will this keep him from trying to isolate his pain discomfort in the future? Doubtful. But maybe he'll come to his senses before the silences – caused by his pigheadedness – stretch on for too long.
❛  Hey,  ❜ Shepard ushers after another moment, reaching out a rough hand. Its palm faces up, resting on the railing. ❛  It'll be all right.  ❜
A white lie? Not necessarily. Even if the worst should come to pass, they would be fine, somehow. The fact that they lived to see this very day is more than he'd even dared hope for before the Reapers kicked the bucket.
He just needs to start finding the good in a life without legs, and fast, if he is to beat his inevitable disappointment to the punch. His, and Miri's.
That might be the worst of it all, should they receive bad news: she'll be stuck with him like ... this.
Aiden clears his throat, hell-bent on ridding himself of the thought altogether. It'll find its way back to him when nighttime rolls around again.
Just as he's about ready to admit defeat in that respect at least, he catches another glimpse of the salarian down the hall. This time, she's hunched over, face held in her hands.
To this day, he still doesn't know if salarians cry; if they can cry, or even feel the urge to.
He doesn't linger on that thought for too long. The grounding weight of Miri's hand in his won't allow him. It instead draws his gaze right back to her, where he finds those ocean-blues staring right back at him. An uncomfortable cocktail of sympathy and obliviousness stirs inside of him.
❛  At least we've still got each other, huh?  ❜
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kaddyssammlung · 6 months ago
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Do you Wish that you loved me – Analysis
"Do you roll with the waves? Or do you duck into deep blue safety?"
I really like this. It reminds me of the teachings from Eckhart Tolle. He always talks about accepting the present moment. He says that situations just are. The problem beings when start to see them as bad. It’s only our thoughts that we have about the situation that make it bad.
It just reminds me of this. Eckhart often uses the ocean and also a ripple in the ocean to explain something.
Or maybe the alchemical view on it: take that situation and transform it by becoming aware of it and also by just letting it be and not fighting what is.
Pretty much the same as Eckhart Tolle teaches this.
"Is it always the same? Do you wish that you loved me?"
I really like the idea that this song is Vessel talking to himself as if he was looking into a mirror. That he is not who can’t love himself.
"Do you pull at the chains?"
Rosegold chains? All of this imagery about being trapped, tangled in, or having chains. Idk what to do with it though. If he pulls at the chains does not hurt? Because the chains are attached to something.
"Or do you push into constant aching?"
Reminds of the times where it sounds as if he was wallowing in depression, self-doubt or self-pity. I’ve been there.
"Each and every day"
I feel this.
"Is there something you give That you will never receive in return? Do you know what it is?"
I wonder what that is. To me maybe again love? Or really loving someone? Or maybe offering someone help and you get nothing for it other than the joy of helping them or serving them in some way?
"And are you trying to live Like everything is a lesson to learn?"
I really like this! Yes we can learn something from everything. Just like I said in the begging. When we surrender and accept what’s being presented to us then we can easily learn. When there is no resistance to what is. This is easier said than done. I can assure you that from my own experience.
"Can you ever forgive (yourself)?"
The debt that I owe? I wonder what it is…there are many things that I did and that I still feel horrible for.
"And my reflection just won't smile back at me like I know it should"
I can relate to this. I still hate looking into a mirror. I always feel fat and all of the scars don’t really help either.
"And I would turn into a stranger in an instant if I could"
Me, too.
"And there is something eating me alive, I don't know what it is"
I used to feel like this until I understood what it was. I don’t know what’s better. Maybe knowing what it is and being able to deal with it. But dealing with stuff that probably was buried a long time ago, is really hard.
"Maybe not that you conceal your feelings, they just don't exist"
You don’t really love, you just hate to be alone….
I do think that he does have a lot of feelings……what’s with all the on stage crying then? Not being able to feel is horrible. I can understand why we are able to dissociate. When something horrible happens then it’s something to keep you safe. But when this becomes your default then it’s just exhausting.
"Do you ever believe That we can turn into different people?"
Everyone can change. But you must really want it and it’s hard but yes, sure.
"It's getting harder to be (myself)"
Oh well….I’m sorry! I can understand! I often felt like that and I finally had enough energy to change.
"Could we ever release? Is it better to just not feel?"
No, it’s not better to just not feel. Sometimes maybe but idk…I dissociate so damn fast and well….honestly I don’t know what’s better or worse. Not being able to feel or feel all the pain.
I get why I dissociate. It's just a trauma reaction. Being stuck in this is horrible.
"Can we hit delete?"
I don’t think so. We can evovle. I mean you can hit delete on your computer. Other than that we evovle.
"And it's been so long that I'm forgetting what it feels like"
I wonder what he means. Being with Sleep? Another state of being? Being in a "higher state" or having a higher frequency? Idk what he could mean. Being able to look at things from a place of "love". I don't know.
"But I'd rather not remind myself and leave it all behind"
Yes, Vessel. Alchemize it, transform it, accept it, go listen to Eckhart Tolle…idk what to tell you. I sometimes feel like I should give him advice but I guess he knows stuff like that. Or maybe not.
Looking at all of this I'm sure he is fine. I have a feeling that he is. Of course I don't know that.
"And I've tried so hard to fix it all, but nothing seems to help But I cannot hope to give you what I cannot give myself"
I can understand this. How can you love someone when you can’t love yourself?
youtube
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twst-drabbles · 2 years ago
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which of your ocs like hugs?
Hohohohohooho it got long. Short answer: all of them do! Long answer...
Antas is the kind of guy that actually has more trouble receiving hugs than giving them. Gets all stiff and uncomfortable but does not have the will to shrug it off cause that man has not been touched sincerely since...ever. He's so touch starved that it's borderline uncomfortable for him to fulfill that need but gives in nonetheless with a very, veeery delicate silence. Hugging him makes him feel fragile. It's easy to see, in just the slight curl of his back. Whenever he's in front of the camera, that part of himself he buries deep, so he has no problem whatsoever, but off camera he recedes and keeps a distance, a polite distance that tends to keep anyone from getting too close.
Vio will put up resistance cause he's so used to his family smothering him with love to make up for the fact they're falling on hard times. He's the kind of man that sputters and says he doesn't need it cause his brain interprets hugs as a sort of pity gift and it makes him reflect on his own self worth. That being said, I say he fights but he never runs far from a hug. He give up eventually and just, lifts his arms in defeat and lets the hug happen. He can say all he wants how he doesn't need to be coddled or need hugs but at the end of the day, he likes being spoiled no matter how he pouts. Now giving hugs? Yeah good luck getting him to do that. (It's actually real easy, just look a bit sad and he'll do it cause he sucks with words.)
Tul'Veith, man that man's hugs will never fail to make anyone feel like a baby being carried by a saint. Even so, he doesn't give hugs often cause he always doubts if they're good or not. Considering that, with how much time has passed since his siblings went away from this existence, Tul'Veith often doubts if he should cling to this place at all, that if he should allow himself to continue to call himself Tul'Veith rather than the Shiloh? That being said, even though he feels as though his being and old self are being chipped down to nothing, old habits shine through. Through giving hugs. He can't help but indulge in the need to protect something, to watch over. That's what giving hugs feels like to him. And receiving hugs actually scared him for a bit, but then allows it once he drives away the doubts in his head. Hugging is nice, but to receive a hug feels nice too, as though the cat you've been comforting has finally decided to return a gentle favor.
Ah Valenio. Honestly is pretty neutral about hugs but when he has a bond with someone, be it a friend or lover, he always thinks about how those arms might not be able to wrap about him one day. He's still affected by his curse, however slow, and being someone whom the deep seas want back, it's only a matter of time before he grows too big and the call becomes too much. So, the wrapping of someones arms around him helps him enjoy the fact that he's here in this moment. That someone here, living and breathing and not at all a remnant expressing itself as the abyss deep below cares for him and his safety. So, when he gives hugs, they're pretty tight and snug, but not enough to suffocate anyone.
Cheridal's hugs are always casual and he gives them freely. Did well on a test? You get a hug! You won a sports match? You get a hug! That being said, they're always quick and brief before they get too awkward. He really just gives off strong punkish bro vibes. All those piercing on his ears and the one on his tongue certainly don't help, though doesn't make it a habit to always wear them unless he knows he need to intimidate someone. That being said, if anyone gives him surprise hugs, prepare for a wrestling match. You just challenged him! At least, that's how it was back at home. Surprise hugs = wrestling challenge! He won't always win, but knows to take the loss with grace.
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remember-ur-alive · 4 months ago
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blankduo thought <3 (cw sOmno, nOncon, chems<x)
milk who starts to doubt his idea of the slow descent being the best. he'd never deny that he enjoys the adrenaline of his usual kills (because life is unfair, and as much as he pities his victims it's thrilling to know he's lucky enough to get away with it, but sometimes he ignores the specific feeling of being vicious. his resolve dwindles as he has to sit each day and watch seven get by on his charisma when nobody has a clue of his inner cruelty.
he stands at seven's bed after nights out, the man still stinking of beer and mystery shots as he snores and tosses in his sleep. it's the only guarantee that milk won't be seen. sometimes he wishes he would be. he thinks of the blossom of shock that would form, the furrowing of seven's brows that would make such an undeserving man so pretty. milk worries his plan means he won't be able to see it.
milk has so much he wishes he could do, it's not really surprising when his eyes move to the limp body in front of him on these nights. seven keeps clothes for years until they reach pajama status, meaning it's common to watch the shirts ride up and show skin they can barely cover.
it starts with unzipping his pants, just to see if seven would even stir at it. his face twitches the first time and milk is ready to run away or kill him or kill everyone in the building the second his eyes open, but he just gives a little displeased grunt in his sleep and turns onto his stomach. milk is very content to be slow and start with just unzipping.
it takes almost a week for him to start pulling his pants and underwear down. he keeps the button on so the clothing sits on his thighs just above his knees as he waits for any reaction. the next night, he wraps his hand around his shaft to test the water, and then he's stood so close the bedframe digs into his legs as he strokes himself. he fears going to completion, unsure if even such an inebriated seven could stay asleep through it.
milk usually ends up grabbing the beers anyway when they're partying at home because he's up the most for snacks and other drinks, it is remarkably easy to go downstairs with some sleep medicine and spike seven's drink. he makes sure to wear a belt too (one he bought just to say he wanted to show it off when naomi points it out) (one he wears with his mask that night) (one that fits snugly around seven's knees as for once, he doesn't twitch or toss). it doesn't really matter what he does to seven, just that it's something for one night.
he wants to lavish in it, to literally shove it in seven's face because now he can, but milk understands the danger if their roommates walk in on him so he's quick. it just takes a few strokes to prepare himself before he's draped seven's limp legs over his shoulder and slid in the tight space he's made between seven's thighs.
the movements are slow to avoid as much noise as possible. milk doesn't mind- it feels good enough because now he's touching seven and nobody will know and the unconscious man's thighs are so soft and warm rubbing against him. it doesn't take long for him to cvm, letting out his first sound with a satisfied grunt as he pulls out. he's about to leave when seven's legs slip off of his shoulder. milk scrambles to catch them, managing to do so against the crook of his elbow, and he waits. there's nothing, no stirring, no screaming, nobody barging in. there's no moment of being caught.
so milk's hand returns to his cOck, almost subconsciously in the high of not alerting anyone. he sets down the bound legs and lays himself down next to the other man, whispering demeaning things in his ear. about how he deserves it, how seven has been so mean that this is the least he could do, how good it feels and how milk relishes in knowing that seven will never know. it's pure impulse to kiss seven's neck, and as he pulls away to stop from leaving a mark he realizes he's hard again, so he moves back onto his knees to consider his options. he ends up just kneeling over seven, admiring his sleeping form.
he's rougher the second time, milk hears his heart beating each time he worries of bruising seven's legs. milk finishes quicker, staying hunched over the still body as he pants. eventually, slowly, he pulls out from seven's thighs again. after a few more seconds of admiration, milk sneaks to the bathroom and wets a rag, quickly returning and wiping any existence of his deed from seven's stomach.
the restless night of laying in bed moves into the regular days. nobody even mentions anything, seven is a little more "hungover" but he really just wakes up an hour later and then groggily shuffles to the fridge and eats a few slices of cold pizza since it's the quickest to help his pounding headache. but a few more nights out, seven is being annoying as one of his drunken jokes, obnoxious smile growing wider as he "gets comfortable" with his legs on the other man's lap. and it's not intentional, milk just wants the weight off his lap and he's convinced this is a power play, so he grabs him by the calves and pushes him away. but seven's smile falters for a second at the touch. his eyebrows furrow slowly, mouth opening but never really speaking as he tries to think through the strange recognition.
and milk drinks up that confusion of a deja vu seven will never realize. and milk knows in that moment the slow plan is perfect, because he needs to see that face again.
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nekasu · 2 years ago
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Neka was likewise an anomaly, born to a youkai who were selfish and capricious, but was kind if a bit prideful. His two conflicting natures always formed a rift in his heart, unable to reconcile them fully. Every so often he became aware of his personality becoming more like a youkai and less like his gentle nature.
Only with external factors, like Makoto, were able to fully keep it in check, giving him something to focus on. When left to his own devices, Neka tended to act more like a kitsune would, living solely for themselves. Perhaps that regression would be halted due to him having all nine tails, but Neka couldn't honestly tell how much he was affected when sealed away, since his resentment and curses were a much bigger influence on his temperament.
Ei might not see it as the two becoming each other's emotional crutches, but Neka understood that was almost certainly the case. They both had suffered great loss--the same one, in fact--and he had nobody left to care about. One could make the argument that she had Yae, but that friendship didn't keep her from sealing herself away.
She might see him as such a viable attachment, but Neka had few other options. Certainly not a mortal, what was the point of settling down and having half-kitsune children if they'd have to watch their mother die before they aged past relative infancy? Only another immortal would suit him. Not the prideful tengu, Yae was too selfish to be a good mother, even the long-lived Traveler was far too interested in, well, traveling to settle down. That really only left Ei, but there was no way she would accept him after his outburst. He'd all but stated he wanted her punished for her crimes, both against him and Inazuma. There was no taking those words back...
Just as he was getting into his brooding thoughts again, Neka suddenly was taken by surprise, Ei smooshing her chest against his face. An odd gesture and seemingly unintended, but even more with the sheer lewdness of the act, it was nice to be held so close for a change. Her heart was beating really fast, wasn't it? Not quite what he expected, but Neka was just going to bask in the soft pleasure and accept it.
Shortly afterward, Ei seemed to have noticed her mistake, pulling away with a blush on her face. A pity, he would have loved to stay like that for a while longer. Even without being practically pulled into her cleavage, Neka had started to relish the warmth of her body.
"If you've truly decided to be rid of me, I'll admit you picked one of the better ways to do it," Neka teased, a playful smirk on his face. "My strength isn't something that can be fully replenished with food and water, but I'll save that explanation for later. You are probably the only one who can help me with it, though, so rest assured that I will tell you. Though I presume it...well, it won't be you preparing the food, right? That would be one of the least pleasant ways to die~" He remembered the disasters when she tried to cook before, and presumably her skills hadn't improved too much in the intervening years. Not like she had a kitchen in that inner world of hers!
One could say that Neka was an overly cautious individual at times especially regarding his own life, but he knew that if Ei truly wanted to kill him, it would be likely the easiest it would ever be now. Would his body be able to react to her sword or polearm in time? He could probably force himself to move quickly if he had to, but if she hadn't tried to kill him yet, he doubted she would come up with a nefarious plot to dispose of him.
And even if she did, the way Neka saw it there were two possibilities. Either she'd become the new reason for his existence, or she'd been lying the whole time and would show he truly had nothing left, in which case he'd probably just accept his fate. So for now, he'd trust in her. What other option did he have?
Brilliant emerald eyes met Ei's, an intense stare that possessed none of the anger and malice as before. No, this time his gaze was filled with...hope? Happiness? Either way, his expression was soft, almost as soft as his erstwhile smothering!
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Just how had that explanation gone? It was an almost comical scene, with an intruder dispatching all the guards with casual ease, only for Ei to declare she'd take care of everything herself. Surely to the outsider they would assume that she fought and killed him, but they would definitely see him again, so that was obviously not the case. Would the Shogun even know what Ei had done? They'd separated some time ago, after all.
Continued from here
@nekasu
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Ei … a shadow forced to become a bolt of lightning itself - the light to guide the people of Inazuma with delicacy, wisdom and power. The only thing Ei had was power. She did not consider herself to be wise, nor delicate, unlike her sister. Her sister was built to be an archon. It caused Ei to question her position almost daily, though she understood that pondering in thoughts like that would be bad for her. They were considered intrusive thoughts, yet she was not aware that there could be times that you were not fully in control of your thoughts …
The atmosphere between them conveyed so much … it was almost as if they were the last thing the other had to keep them going - though Ei would not think of that as likely. She figured that once he was back to his old self, he would probably find someone and have children. Having a family was not something an Archon ever thought of or dreamed of. They must run an entire nation … not many had time for romantic interests. Of course, to those such as mortals who were not aware of anything that went on behind the scenes, Archons were fully capable of having intense romantic relations. Though, they simply chose not to for different reasons. She had come to learn that … the harder way.
His teasing had caused her to get knocked back to reality, though for a moment, she could’ve sworn she had been taken back to the past, when he was free and happy. “I… I see,” she responded slowly. “Well, if it is rest you require, you will have to get comfortable.” Ei then made a point to bring his head into her chest and push herself and Neka to the top of the bed, where the big, fluffy cushions were seated. The bedding was soft and plumped, too. Even after settling, it did not register with her that she had accidentally pushed his head a little too into her chest until two minutes after …
“My … my apologies,” her cheeks were dusted with evidence she was embarrassed. “I did not realise. Were you able to breathe?” Ei would not have been able to really gage how much pressure she had applied when moving - something that was a horrible downside to having a lot of power. “Anyway … you need to regain your strength. I will get you some food and drink once you’re ready.” The kindness she was offering him was genuine, but it did not sit right within her that he may think she was up to something. Perhaps she was overthinking this …
It was apparent that the Shogun had taken it upon herself to call back the guards to explain that the situation had been handled swiftly. Afterward, she locked up Tenshukaku, ensuring there were a few more guards than normal to check the grounds for at least an hour to make sure that it was safe. Of course, there was no threat and the news Ei’s people would receive would be that she was safe and took care of the problem. It was noisy, so loud out there where the guards had deep, booming voices which were used to yell at one another to see if their part of the area was indeed secure … that it almost tempted the Archon to listen in. Night was then upon them, the sun now setting beautifully behind the houses and mountains of land throughout Inazuma. What gorgeous scenery to accommodate a beautiful end to a day.
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famwhy · 2 years ago
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Desperation
Yandere Jason Dean (JD)
Word Count: 3,583
Ready to rekindle your love for Heathers the musical?
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Your eyes crinkled in sympathy as you witnessed your good friend, Jamie, get completely ignored by his long-time crush, Veronica, in favour of her swooning over the new kid beating up two jocks.
Your legs carried themselves over to his pitiful form, a low whistle drawing out from your lips when you reached his side as you both gazed at the back of the infatuated teen.
"Damn, buddy, tough luck." You patted the nerd's back, watching his shoulders shrink further into himself. "How long have you liked her now? Couple o' years?"
He sighed. "Yeah."
Another low whistle. "And she just falls for that dude straight away? Dammmnnn, and I thought my luck was shit when I bet on black and lost half my savings."
"You bet on black? What type of idiot bets on black?" He rose a brow.
"The hell do you mean 'what type of idiot bets on black'?! It's a 50/50 chance! What type of idiot gets rejected by their crush without even confessing first?!"
Cue the disheartened expression returning to his face and you suddenly feeling like that wasn't the right time for that joke.
"Shit, dude. Too soon?"
Another sigh left his lips.
"Cheer up, man. I mean, he doesn't reciprocate the feelings right? Seemed like he didn't when they spoke a bit ago."
Your words caused his expression to light up again. However, it wasn't lit up out of relief, no, it was lit up with an idea. You did not like that expression of his one bit.
"Yeah!" He exclaimed brightly. "You're right! And he won't ever be able to if you charm him first!"
"Wha-?!" Your eyes widened as he trained his gaze on you with a grin so bright, it was blinding. "Hold on! I never agreed to be your guinea pig!"
"Come on, pleaassee." His fingers intertwined with one another as he begged you. "You still owe me for all that money you borrowed."
You glanced at the new kid one more time, taking in his looks and mannerisms to assess whether or not you had been given a good deal.
Oh, who were you kidding? Of course you got a good deal, in return for a thousand dollars, you just had to charm one guy and keep him away from a girl.
"Fine, I'll do it."
Jamie cheered, launching himself into you so that he could wrap his arms around your neck in an appreciative hug. "Thanks! You're the best!"
"Yeah, yeah, you obsessed little freak." 
.
.
.
"Ah, shit." You cursed your luck.
Why exactly were you cursing your luck? Well, simple, because Veronica was about to make her way to the store the new kid was in so that she could pick up some snacks for the Heathers.
How did you know the new kid was in there? Let's just say you did a little... observing of his schedule.
The things people do to get out of debt.
Anyway, if they were in the same store, no doubt the new kid would approach Veronica out of interest from their earlier interaction.
You absolutely could not let that happen.
"What to do, what to do..."
You snapped your fingers, an imaginary bulb basically lighting up above your head.
"You sure you wanna get snacks from there, Veronica?" The brunette jumped as you approached her.
"Oh, Y/N, hey."
"'Sup."
"Sorry, uh, what was it you just said?" She looked a little confused. You didn't blame her, you never really approached her outside of school.
"I said, are you sure you wanna get snacks from that store, Veronica?"
"How did you-?"
"After all, you can't possibly be ready to face your bestie after what you just did to her right?" You sneered. "I can't imagine that bodes well with your subconscious."
Instantly, her expression faltered and her eyes filled with guilt. "I- I didn't..."
"Yeah, well, you did." You gave her a little glare. "And you can't be telling me you wanna see her again right after that. If I were you, I'd head to a different store."
"I-!" She looked ready to defend herself, but just one look at your scowl and she backed off. "Yeah, you're probably right."
With that, she turned on her heel and walked away, the atmosphere around her filling up with gloom.
Yikes, you may have overshot it there.
Oh well, Jamie could use that as an excuse to comfort her anyway.
You casted a glance to the shop, taking in a deep breath and praying your drama skills were good enough to get you through this. 
As you stepped through the doors, you immediately spotted your victim by the slushie machines. This caused you to, almost immediately, make your way over to him.
Once you were close enough, you acted like you were looking at the flavours, casting a sneaky side-glance his way to see he wasn't staring at anything in particular, before choosing your moment to strike.
"Y'know, for a new kid, you sure don't take shit from anyone."
Please work, please work, pleasework-
"Yeah? Well, you seem like the type to understand why." He smirked your way.
Holy shit- it actually worked.
"Greetings and salutations, my name's Jason Dean, though you can call me JD for short."
'Greetings and Salutations'? Dear lord, he's a weirdo-
"Y/N."
You reached out for his hand, shaking it firmly.
"Those were some good moves back there."
"Yeah?" He smirked your way. "You pick up on these things when you're constantly moving around."
"Ah, a parent's job?"
"Yup, my dad own a deconstruction company. You know the one on all those commercials where he goes-" he then proceeds to imitate the commercial you always saw on TV during every programme's commercial break.
"Must be tough moving so often, I could never imagine what it's like." Your head shook from side-to-side.
"Heh, yeah. I usually just stick to myself and refrain from making any bonds."
"How's that going for you this time around?" You sent him a knowing smile.
"Not too good so far." He reciprocated.
Okay, this conversation was moving at too much of a snail's pace for you. It was about time you sped things up.
"So, tough guy, you gonna ask me out or what?"
"So soon? Where's the fun in that?" JD's rough fingers ran through his hair, swishing his locks to the side as his grin never faltered.
"Oh," you slowly took a few steps towards him, basically swaying your hips as you closed the gap between the two of you, pressing your body up against his before speaking in a breathy whisper, "there's plenty of fun in that."
His eyes grew half-lidded as he slid an arm around your waist, the slushie in his other hand practically forgotten. "Oh yeah? Sounds great..."
"But-!" You slipped out of his grasp, sending him a cheeky wink and a suggestive smirk. "You're right, there's no fun in that."
His dazed expression didn't let up as you continued on your way out of the store, casting a last glance over your shoulder to confirm that he did, in fact, still have a cloudy expression.
Lo and behold, he was still out of it.
Hook, line, and sinker.
You're welcome, Jamie.
.
.
.
"So did you do it?" Jamie was the first to approach you after the end of your first period class, bouncing on his heels in excitement. 
"Only time will tell, dear friend." Your voice dropped an octave and your expression turned serious.
"What's that supposed to mean?" 
"It means my master plan has yet to give me desired results because it's just started." You rolled your eyes, making your way to your locker with your folders tucked tightly into your chest. 
"Have they met then?"
"Of course not, I was very meticulous. All I had to do was play with that little snake's feelings and- oh!"
Your steps screeched to an abrupt halt, causing your friend to crash straight into your back and stumble back a bit.
"Why is your back so sturdy-?"
"MIKE! BUDDY! PAL! FRIEND-O!" You tossed your arm around the person that caught your eye, your grin feigning cheer. "How are you doing?"
"What do you want?" The playboy narrowed his eyes in your direction.
"Well, you see, I happen to-." You didn't even need to finish your sentence for his eyes to start widening and your own smile to turn sinister.
"Shit, I should've known you would've gotten a hold of it. Fuck! Look, man, I don't have money on me, please. Gimme a day, I swear I'll get you the money you need to feed that sick obsession of yours."
"You better." Your expression darkened. "Or you can say bye-bye to that new car your parents promised you."
He shuddered, immediately rushing off. 
After that interaction, you and Jamie continued towards your locker, this time in silence.
Well, that was until you reached it of course. Jamie decided that was the perfect time to speak.
"You're still doing this, Y/N? Don't you think it's a little... excessive? This addiction has really messed with your head."
"I love you, Jamie, I do-" you shoved your things into the empty space before you. "-but you need to know when it's time to butt out of business that isn't yours."
You slammed the locker shut, jumping slightly when you noticed the new form that stood there, leant against your neighbour locker. "You have a minute?"
You immediately brought your act up again. "Of course~."
It was then that JD's eyes trailed to your friend's, narrowing at the shorter male in clear distaste. "Alone."
"Ruh-right!" He rushed off without a second thought.
"My, oh my," the spotlight was placed back on you. "So harsh."
"You 'love' him, huh?" Though, his narrowed eyes stayed narrowed. 
"Jealous, are we, Mr Dean?" Your fingers trailed up his torso, gently tracing his muscles through the thin line of fabric separating skin-on-skin contact.
Your touch caused his breath to hitch in his throat, the familiar expression he wore yesterday returning to his face. "You know, I wouldn't mind you being called Mrs Dean."
"Woah-!" You quickly pulled your hands a way. "A bit too soon, don't'cha think?"
"Weren't you the one who said there's plenty of fun in that?" He smirked, dipping his head closer to your own.
Get the fuck away, you lil' sh-.
The familiar chime of the bell caused you to breathe a quiet sound of relief. 
Saved by the bell really is a thing.
"Well, looks like we have to continue this conversation later."
You went to move away but were stopped abruptly by a tugging force on your wrist. 
"Oh no you don't," your back met with a rather sturdy chest, "you're not getting away like that again. Let's ditch together."
You gritted your teeth, cursing yourself at that exact moment for not using blackmail on Jamie when it came to taking money like you did with every other student. Damn that boy for making you soft.
"Fine. Where'd you wanna go?"
"7-eleven." He grinned, turning around and starting to walk out of the premises with you in tow, grip on your wrist never faltering for even a second.
.
.
.
Once you arrived, he rushed over to the slushies, immediately buying two random flavours. 
"I didn't even tell you what I liked." You grinned in amusement as he gave you one. 
"Sometimes you gotta take risks in life y'know?"
"Okay, Mr. Bootleg Shakespeare."
He bowed with a little smirk. "In the flesh."
Okay, so that got a little chuckle out of you. He was still a weirdo though.
"So, I've heard quite a bit about you, y'know," he started off.
"Oh yeah?" You rose a brow. "Like what?"
"Like how... oh, I don't know, you're very keen on using blackmail to get what you want."
Almost immediately, your facial expression darkened.
"What's it to you?" 
"Nothing." He absentmindedly looked to the side. "I just find that really hot."
The drink came flying out your mouth. "I'm sorry- what?!"
"You heard me." He hooked an arm around your waist, pulling you in so close, you could feel his breath on your face. "I. Find. It. Really. Hot."
This guy was weird. Almost unnervingly so.
"Hm. Good for you." You slipped out of his grasp yet another time, sending him a playful smirk in response to his frown.
After that little interaction, you stopped speaking in favour of just hanging around in a comfortable silence.
Well... that was, until he spoke up once more.
"So, I've been thinking..." He trailed off. "Wanna be my girlfriend?"
"Hmm. Sure."
Had he not been so elated from the affirmation, you were sure he'd have realised how strange your response was.
.
.
.
Some time passed and you spent so much time with JD, you barely got to see Jamie anymore.
But judging by the way you passed him by once, with the emo boy walking beside you, and he sent you a grin as well as a thumbs up; he didn't mind. Veronica beside him though? Now, she definitely had a problem.
Oh well, that's on her, not you.
"Y/N!" Oh, was that Jamie just now? "Y/N!"
"Hey Jamie, I haven't- woah!" You cut yourself off when he launched himself at your arm, clutching you so tightly, you could've sworn he stopped your blood flow.
"Y/N! You need to leave the new kid!"
So much for him being happy about your new relationship.
"He-he's psycho!" Jamie was panting really hard. "He threatened me to stay away from you! You need to leave him!"
"Aren't you the one who wanted me to get with him in the first place?" You rose a brow, priorities obviously not straight.
"Yeah, that was before I found out he was a psycho!"
"But isn't it in your best interests to listen to his threats instead of warning me?"
"Y/N, you are literally asking all the wrong questions right now . JUST LEAVE THE-!"
"Leave what?" A new voice piped up, causing Jamie to jump out of his very skin.
"Uhhhh..."
Speak of the devil and he shall appear, it was JD.
"Oh, great!" You beamed, fixating his gaze onto you almost immediately. "You're just on time. I needed to talk to you."
Both men looked at you with surprise. "Oh? What-?"
"I'm breaking up with you." Your expression fell flat within the next second, cold gaze trained on his figure.
"Wha-?" His face fell, eyebrows creasing as it seemed like his whole world fell apart before him. "Why?"
"I'm just not feeling it anymore." You stared at your nails, pulling off the whole disinterested thing way too well. "It's not me, it's you. See ya."
You took to turning around and walking off- or, at least, you wanted to before he seized your wrist.
"Yuh-you can't do this to me, baby." His eyes were blown wide, pupils shaking in his desperation. "I love you."
His attempts to make you stay were starting to get annoying. "Really now? Shame. Looks like you'll have to move on."
You ripped your arm from his grasp, sending him a glare as you did so. His grip was tight but thanks to your sudden movements, you were able to free yourself.
After that, you wasted no time in leaving him behind, gesturing for Jamie to follow you as well. The boy took one glance at the heartbroken expression on the new kid's face before gulping and rushing after you.
.
.
.
Your footsteps echoed through the barren halls, the slurping of your slushie being the only other sound to accompany them.
The light of the moon was the only thing illuminating the hallways and keeping you from walking straight into a wall.
Why exactly were you at the school at night.
Well, you received a peculiar note when you got home from school earlier that day.
The contents?
Greetings and salutations darling,
I love you. I know you love me too. We are meant to be. The only reason you left me is because of that asshole who calls himself your friend. He's keeping you away from me. He made you blind, messed up your mind but I can set you free!
Meet me at the school tonight, your class. I'm waiting.
Yours forever and always,
JD
Now, you could fully ignore this note and just go about your life as normal, not even considering giving JD the time of day.
But...
He successfully caught your interest.
You were bored and your gambling addiction couldn't be satiated so you found temporary reprise in this little meeting.
Plus, there was always the fact that this was potential blackmail material-.
Your train of thought was halted when you reached the door of your homeroom, left hand leaving your pocket to push on the handle, swinging it open with a look of nonchalance.
Inside, you were greeted with quite the sight to behold.
Standing above a puddle of crimson, the lifeless eyes of your former good friend looking up at you in a permanent expression of horror.
Your lips parted from the straw as a low whistle drew out from them. "Damn, buddy, always did have such rough luck." 
"No thanks to you." The chuckle of a boy dressed in dark clothing reached your ears. "Oh babe, I find it so fucking hot that you didn't even fucking flinch at this."
His lips grazed your ear, shaky breath hitting you at uneven intervals as one of his arms looped around your waist and pulled you into his chest, the other reaching for your left hand and intertwining each of your fingers with his own. 
"Shit..." He spoke breathily. "Let's fuck up the world together, baby."
BONUS! FEAT. VERONICA AND THE HEATHERS
Veronica's blood boiled in her veins as she watched your fingers graze the arm of the new kid she was crushing majorly on, teeth gritting as he seemed to fall in a deeper pit of his own infatuation for you.
"Hey," she spoke up, her voice barely above a whisper but her anger incredibly apparent. "Do you guys think we could... screw with Y/N somehow?"
"Y/N?" One of the Heathers spoke up, her hands adjusting the mascara on her eyes with a look of total concentration. "Why?"
"Because she stole the emo boy Veronica has a major crush on." Giggled the other two.
"Well," Heather Chandler scoffed. "I'm afraid we can't touch Y/N."
"Why not?"
"Oh, Veronica, you sweet, dumb, little girl." The brunette shook her head from side-to-side. "You've never come across her bad side."
"SHUT UP, HEATHER!" Chandler screamed at the girl clad in a green blazer before clearing her throat. "I'm telling Veronica."
The other girl whimpered out an apology.
"Anyway," the blonde rolled her eyes, "Y/N is a no-go for targeting. That girl has every dirty secret ever known to the whole school. Getting on her bad side is not just social suicide, it's real suicide."
"Real?" Veronica tilted her head to the side, attention now on the leader of the group.
"Yeah, do you remember Hailey?" 
Veronica rose a brow. "Who's Hailey?"
"Exactly."
The Heather with the yellow colour-scheme piped up. "She tried setting Y/N up to be jumped by a bunch of jocks but they told Y/N about her plans because she had dirt on them."
"What happened then?" 
"...she got rid of her." The blonde cut in once more. "Y/N got rid of Hailey, completely. She's a dangerous woman."
"A dangerous woman addicted to gambling. It's why she even has blackmail on everyone to begin with, so that she can take people's money and gamble it all away."
"Wow." 
"I know."
EXTRA BONUS! FEAT. JAMIE AND JD
Jamie had noticed some things. 
First of all; he, himself, was being noticed increasingly more. Although, not by the person he wants to or in the way he would like it to be.
JD, the new kid, was the one noticing him more. 
He would glare at the shorter male whenever he approached you. Fists clenched so hard he drew blood.
Something about the kid was fishy.
And this just confirmed it.
"I'm sorry- what?"
"Stay away from my Y/N." JD repeated himself, hand reaching into his pocket to pick out- was that a switch-blade?! 
"What the fuck?!"
"She's mine. I will kill you if I found out you disobeyed my orders."
'Disobeyed his orders' who the hell did he think he was? The fucking King?
Jamie needed to warn you; and fast.
Writing 'commercials' instead of 'adverts' is so weird-
Also, I had to slip in a few iconic lyrics y'all can't blame me-
In case you didn't notice, Reader's a bit of a sociopath in this. Thought it would be nice to change it up a bit.
979 notes · View notes
poisonouswritings · 3 years ago
Note
I'm sorry to bother you but I've had this thought for quite a while and my ADHD brain won't shut up about it 😂😅
So imagine a scenario where mc is going on a date with Sage at the tarven and while they are waiting for him to get drinks, someone comes across to them and claims They were one of...ahem..."sage's exe".
Anyway they say they heard a rumor that Sage has got a partner and they didn't believe it but hey here's the so called partner
They start to talk shit to mc about sage will leave and it's just a phase and he'll get bored soon and won't see him again and they should leave this job for them I mean they were able to make him have a good time they can do it again
By the time sage comes he hears some of this pity conversation. He starts to yell at the ex and they don't seem unnerved and go "what? Can't your little puppy stand for themselves?" That's when mc snaps and punishes the exe in the face so hard it knocks em down on the floor (probably breaks their nose)
Sage's like damn I mean he doesn't expect his calm and reasonable mc to go violent. It's a new side of them -it's kinda hot-
Mc takes his hand and gets him out of the tarven. Sage is apologizing and blaming himself for ruining the night that's when mc cuts him "it'll take more than some pity ex for you to get rid of me, your past doesn't identify and it won't be the reason I'll never see your smile again, besides after tonight I doubt that any of your exes will ever bother us again"
Sorry for my English 😅
Your English is great! And I love this idea
You're just,, sitting there,,, trying to tune this person out. Unfortunately their voice is grating and sharp. Maybe you really are being affected by it all, each cruel dig and comment knocking you down a little further, a little further, and what the hell did you do to deserve this anyways? Or maybe you couldn't give the slightest damn what this person thinks but you do wish they'd stop trying to harsh your vibes. 'oh he'll get tired of you you should just let me have him' please this man is so fucking clingy and in love with you that he literally starts pouting if you don't smooch the top of his head before you go to sleep
like
Chill.
'Sage could have anyone he wants,' the ex is saying, 'so why in seven hells do you think he'd want you? You could never satisfy him-'
Sage has come up from behind. He slams the mugs of alcohol on the table so hard that ale sloshes over his fingers. But he doesn't even seem to notice as he starts ripping into his ex. And while they're arguing (some of it in a language you don't even understand), you're just,, vibing. Watching. You pick up one of the mugs and have a sip. Sage is livid and his eyes are flickering red but he doesn't seem to be a danger yet. You oughta keep an eye on it though.
And then the ex looks at you. Sneers. Asks Sage if the little puppy doesn't have their own bite.
...
Alright. You take a swig from your drink. It goes down smooth. Sage remembered to get ice for you. He's sweet like that.
You get to your feet. Crack your knuckles. Tap the ex on the shoulder. Smile. Pop them in the face, same way you did to Sage all that time ago. You feel the telltale snap! under your fist as the ex goes toppling to the floor.
Nice.
Sage is a little,, he's a little,,, he's a little turned on. I'm sorry. He is. He's just Like That. But he's a little flustered too, not in the good way. Not entirely anyways.
You grab his hand and drag him outside because you could both use the air. He laces his fingers with yours and as soon as the cold night air hits your face he's apologizing; for letting the argument carry on so long, letting it happen at all, leaving you alone to get the drinks, knowing that person to begin with,, he knows he has a particular history, and gods he doesn't want that to become your problem. And maybe he's wondering to himself just how much 'history' there is. How much you'll have to deal with. And while he still isn't really 'ashamed' persay, he does feel for the first time as if he brings far more baggage than you should have to deal with.
You hug him fiercely and kiss his forehead. That gets him to stop talking for a moment.
Give him a little,,, little scratch behind his ears,,,, he's being such a silly little kitty. You don't care about his body count. He is so so so much more than that, and you absolutely adore him. There's nothing that anyone can say that would change that. And if anyone ever tries to bother you two again, you'll just kick their ass. Nothing to it :)
... Sage hugs you tightly, tail wrapping around your thigh. He just,, really really loves you. You're way too good to him. Who knows what he did to deserve you.
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bunnyywritings · 3 years ago
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bubbly s/o opens up about trauma pt. 1
bakugou katsuki & shouto todoroki x gn!reader
word count: 1.8k
requested by anon: Katsu, Sho, Izu, and Eiji headcanons to their bubbly, and sweet crush, and close friend, opening up to them about being abused by their parents growing up? They've gotten therapy and are living with their Grandparents but sometimes they get upset when someone brings up parents or asks about the scars from abuse. They tell them they shared this with them because they refused to lie to them. They hug him close, thanking him for being a good friend. -Morp
[a/n: i hope you don’t mind that I’m doing it in parts anon! i ended up doing scenarios for each one, i'm a bit rusty so i apologize if this isn't very well done. you can read part 2 [ here ] ,thank you for requesting sweet heart! here you go! - yours truly, bunny -`ღ´- ]
TW: mentions of parental abuse & scars, nothing explicit but implied
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To an extent, he always knew. Maybe not the specifics, but whenever you were alone and thought no one was paying any attention, you’d let your guard down. The metaphorical sparkle in your eyes would dim, your shoulders would slump as if you were taking a break. Then someone would approach and in the blink of an eye, the sparkle was back and the familiar grin on your lips was present once again. Despite what others may think, Bakugou was a good friend.
He worried about you. A lot.
That may be due to the fact that he has a huge crush on you, but it was unlikely. He values your friendship so much. He’d rather have you as a friend than anything else, really. That was mainly his insecurity talking though. He just thought he wasn’t good enough for you. No one was, really. But that’s besides the point.
He had never explicitly said anything about his feelings for you but he didn’t need to. It was quite clear through his actions. Well...clear to everyone but you, that is. Even Aizawa had caught on. And he couldn’t care less about his students’ love lives. He’s had his fill of teenage angst and drama.
During training, he’d always make sure your water bottle was full or during lunch he’d keep an eye out and make sure you were eating. Sometimes he’d even give you extra pieces of meat from his plate, or if he had veggies he knows you like, he’d wordlessly place them into your rice bowl.
Now this wasn’t one sided at all. You also had your ways of looking out for him.
If you were doing a convenience store run with Sero and you saw the particular snack that Bakugou likes, you’d instantly grab a few. For his birthday, you had gotten him custom earplugs for quirk training. It had been after you and him were paired to spar against each other, he always insisted on not holding back against you out of respect, and you had experienced one of his full blown attacks head-on. Your ears were ringing for about half an hour before you could somewhat hear again, and even then, everything was a bit muffled.
Needless to say, you were worried about his hearing
He scoffed and rolled his eyes when he unwrapped the box. Scolding you for wasting money on something he had no use for.
He always uses them though. Especially when he’s doing stamina training, and it’s explosion after explosion.
Anyways. He notices your strange behavior, one day. You stopped trying to keep up the façade and you were sort of gloomy all day. He was absolutely pissed that no one had noticed the change, and he’d yell at them later for it, but he kept his cool and waited until he could be alone with you.
It had been around 8pm, just an hour before his bedtime, when he made some tea for the both of you and carried it up to your dorm room. He paused in front of your door, looking down at both his hands, a mug in each one, then looking at the door handle. Realizing he won't be able to physically open the door by himself, he awkwardly bumped the door with his elbow.
“Hey idiot, it’s me. Open the door.” He grumbled quietly, frowning when you hadn’t responded. Before he could repeat himself a little more aggressively, the muffled sound of your sniffling made his stomach drop. Panic rising throughout his body as he made up worst case scenarios in his head.
“(Y/n), seriously. Is everything okay?” All attempts to sound calm failed as his voice betrayed him, trembling the slightest bit.
On the other side of the door, you started to panic. Furiously wiping any evidence of tears or snot from your face before you slumped over to the door, turning the lock and tugging it open to reveal a frowning Bakugou. He wasn’t upset, he was worried. It was evident in his red irises.
“Here. Drink it before it gets cold.” He handed you a mug before walking past you and into your room. He admired the decor everytime he was in there, no matter how many times he had seen it already, it never failed to make his heart warm. You had a wall full of pictures of yourself with your friends. There were a few solo photos of your friends as well. Most were candid shots, there were a fair few of him.
It always reminded him that beauty is indeed in the eye of the beholder. You cherished those candid photos because in your eyes, when your friends were carefree and themselves, no poses, no facade, that’s when they were their most beautiful.
He took a seat on your bed and patted the space beside him. Nudging the door shut, you made your way over and got comfortable.
“What’s up with you today? You seemed...not yourself.”
You didn’t respond, opting to take a sip of your tea. He knew there was something up and he wasn’t gonna push you. So he leaned back and got comfortable, waiting until you were ready. It was a solid three minutes of silence before you took a deep breath.
“I-I don’t want to lie to you, Katsuki. It just wouldn’t be fair so uhh, yeah. Here goes.” He could tell that this was overwhelming for you so, wordlessly, he put down his mug and held his hand out to you and you grasped it, like it was a lifeline.
And you told him.
You told him about the abuse from your own parents. He felt his blood boil as you showed him a few scars inflicted by your parents’ quirks. You explained that it was the anniversary of the day you ran away and went to live with your grandparents, and how you had been seeing a therapist on the regular since then.
It pained him to see you struggle through the tears, hiccuping a few times as you attempted to catch your breath. You didn’t even have to say it but he could see it, it was an all too familiar feeling to him. He tugged you to him, letting go of your hand and pulling you into his chest, his arms wrapping you up in a warmth that made the stinging tears return.
“You know, this doesn’t make me think less of you. You’re not weak. Those bastards don’t realize how bad they screwed up. You’re strong, and they’re gonna regret every goddamn choice they’ve made when they see how far you’ll go.”
“Thank you.” You whimpered as you gave in to the new wave of tears, hooking your arms around his shoulders. “Thank you…”
If anyone asks, no...he wasn’t crying. (He was though.)
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If anyone was familiar with the signs of abuse, it was him. 
It hurt him so much knowing that you had gone through what he did, maybe not to the same extreme but you had experienced it nonetheless. 
He admired you though. Despite whatever happened to you, you were always bright. Always in a good mood and always choosing to see the good in people. He knows that he didn’t have the strength to do that. Maybe eventually, but not so soon. He had never wanted to pry. You guys were friends, practically best friends and he trusted that you’d tell him when you were ready. 
To his knowledge, no one knew. No one mentioned the way you’d flinch around sudden movements or when someone raised their voice. Honestly, it was a wonder that you had even befriended Iida. He was the epitome of loud and sudden. Always waving his arms around at the randomest times and always shouting to chastise someone for breaking a rule. 
He noticed that you tended to cover up your torso often. Never really wearing anything more revealing than a normal t-shirt. Even on the class trip to the beach, you insisted on staying covered up. No one questioned it, chalking it up to insecurity. Even during training when everyone had to wear their gym uniform, while others undid the top part and wrapped it around their waist, being clad in a tank top or sports bra, you had always kept it on. Even when it was extremely hot. More often than not, he found himself resting his palm against your forehead to cool you off. 
It hadn’t been very hot, but Aizawa decided to run everyone ragged with combat training, so everyone was partnered up. Todoroki had been partnered with Denki and you had been paired up with Eijirou.
As he sat with his classmates, watching the two of you spar, he was quite impressed. Not that he doubted your skill but both fighting styles were drastically different. Eijirou and his quirk relied on close combat while your quirk worked best with long-range. He could see the frustration on your face when Eijirou kept charging towards you and engaging in hand to hand.
As the fight went on, Kirishima had hardened his forearm and hand, kinda like a makeshift blade and as he took you down, he had accidentally cut the top of your gym uniform. As the dust settled and the both of you got up, the tear in your clothes allowed the whole class to see your back and shoulders, skin littered with scars. All were different in size, color, severity, etc. 
Everyone was stunned silent, not having expected anything like this. 
“(Y/n)...what happened?” You could feel the breeze on your back and the pity in Kirishima’s eyes made you angry.
Everyone suddenly snapped into realization. Various questions of; ‘who did that to you?’, ‘where did those come from?’ and whatnot were shot at you from different directions. He could see you slowly being overwhelmed by everything. His heart dropped as he made eye contact with you, your eyes tired and filled with tears. 
“That’s ENOUGH!” Everyone froze and looked at Todoroki with wide eyes, his voice booming.
Sensing the tension starting to rise, Aizawa sighed. 
“Alright everyone settle down. Training is over, get back to class. (Y/n). A word.” 
Reluctantly, Todoroki followed the boys into the locker room and changed into his school uniform.  When everyone was out and he returned outside to the training grounds, you and Aizawa weren’t there so he had gone back to the locker rooms. He knocked and called out to you. 
“Can I come in?” He heard a meek ‘yeah.’ So he carefully made his way inside. 
There you were, dressed in your school uniform and sat on a bench with your face buried in your hands, shoulders shaking. 
“(Y/n)...” He gently placed a hand on your shoulder, he winced when you looked up at him. IIt ached him to see your beautiful eyes tainted by tears. 
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner Sho…” Your bottom lip quivered. 
“Please, don’t apologize.” He opened his arms. You stood up and basically collapsed into them, clutching onto the back of his blazer. “Just always remember that I may understand more than anyone else will. I’ll never judge you, you know that right?” 
“I know…It’s just, ugh-” You pulled away and wiped the tears from your face. “I don’t want anyone to change how they look at me because of what my parents did to me and when everyone saw, and they were asking all of their questions, their eyes...they were just full of pity.” 
“Then look into mine.”
And when you did, you didn’t see pity. 
You saw admiration. You saw belonging. Love. Understanding. 
“Nothing will ever change with me, (Y/n).” He pressed his forehead against yours, “I will always be here for you.” 
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wh6res · 4 years ago
Text
sedan | jaemin
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—part 2
synopsis. it was only a matter of time until he snapped. he was right, you should've seen it coming.
warnings. noncon, swearing, yandere themes, there’s a knife lmao
note. yalls idk :( it keeps deleting paragraphs when i add a readmore wtf is this sorcery IM SO SORRY
[read part 1]
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apparently, your captor had enough respect for your dignity not to take you in the backseat of his old sedan. saying something along the lines of how you had completely ruined the mood by how much you were crying underneath him. “it’s not even pretty crying!” jaemin had exclaimed, hauling you up to your feet and carrying you bridal style towards the house. 
respect? pft. he has long passed the line of respecting your dignity—the moment he forced that drug into your system and shoved you inside his car, he was a goner. 
you don’t bother thrashing against his arms, having thought better. with your wrists and knees duct-taped together, running seemed like a joke. instead, you stare longingly at the outside world over jaemin’s shoulder—it definitely isn’t the last time you’ll see it, but if you were here because of his fucked up possessiveness over you, then escaping will be a challenge. 
three months of working alongside jaemin is enough for you to know how thorough he can be. he’s quite the perfectionist, and you remember admiring his keen attention to detail but now you only fear for the things he has in store for you to make sure you’ll never leave his side. it was due to this train of thought that you involuntarily start shaking against him. the automated lock in the front door beeps into place and now you were stuck here with him, once and for all. 
before you are able to take a look around the house, scoping enemy territory, a hand comes up to cover your eyes. the moment your fingers wrap around his wrist to pry it away, he hisses, and you let go immediately. 
“stay still or else,” you obliged, scared of what he can do now that he has you all to himself inside the house. “i know what you’re thinking. still so fucking predictable. you’d have to earn my trust until i let you roam around here.”
the loud clicks of your restraints locking together prove that he is a man of his word. 
the basement he keeps you in is disgusting. the tiles beneath you are cold, a few leaking pipes in the corner, dust everywhere, and a tiny window across the room—you doubt your chains can reach that far. but what captured your eyes the most is the numerous pillows stuck onto the walls and ceiling. the colors of its casings are faded, none of them matching one another at all. it was as if everything was messily put together at the last minute and you almost feel a tiny bit of relief that maybe, jaemin isn’t as thorough as you thought he’d be. 
“i soundproofed the walls and everything, isn’t that romantic?”
you don’t answer, too caught up thinking about how you’ll stay warm that you don’t notice the way his eyes trail over your shaking figure, knees tucked under your chin, pressing yourself firmly against the wall to appear smaller. to create as much distance from him as possible. 
jaemin frowns in distaste, a low hum resounding in the back of his throat as he thought; no, this won’t do.
“are you cold?” he asks. 
once again, he’s met with silence. 
if there is one thing jaemin absolutely hates with a passion, it was being ignored. the feeling is so foreign to him. maybe it was because of how much he naturally expects to bear the spotlight, that when you refused to even slightly acknowledge him as anything, he was confused. fascinated but frustrated at the same time. 
it is the same frustration he felt when you turned him down. the same frustration he felt when you fought against him. the same frustration he felt when you don’t stop crying underneath him. the same frustration he felt right at this very fucking moment.
“i don’t think ignoring me will do you good, sweetheart. i asked you a question, didn’t i? i’ll say it again, one last time,” the edge in his voice is unmistakable. “are you cold or not?”
at this point, jaemin feels stupid for even thinking about granting you the slightest bit of leniency by leaving you alone tonight. jaemin had been willing to put aside his desires and wants for you. but his patience can only stretch so far until it comes snapping back. 
and boy, were you in for it. 
he utters your name, low and threatening and you just knew what it meant. as the victim, it should’ve been in your best interest to keep your captor from losing his shit and hurting you… and yet, you remain silent. you don’t know what’s gotten into you. the words are right at the tip of your tongue but you don’t say anything. it was as if time had stopped and your brain had short-circuited, making you forget how to speak. 
when he stood up from the stool and started stalking towards you, you knew it was too late. 
“jaemin…” your voice shakes. “jaem—yes, yes—i feel—i feel cold—”
the sting on your right cheek is the only thing to register in your mind for a few good seconds until it all clicks into place. he just backhanded you. 
“i never thought you’d be such a fucking bitch,” he hisses, pulling at your restraints. “you were so silent, i thought you went mute, baby. how can you treat me like that? it’s no way to treat your lover.”
his soft tone catches you off guard for a fraction of a second. it was the same way he spoke to you before… all of this. it was the same tone that had once lulled you into a sense of security when you were stuck in a new environment, scared, making mistakes left and right, but jaemin had proved he can be someone you can depend on.
and look at what that cost you.
jaemin’s eye twitched when he noticed the slightly dazed look on your face, eagerly slotting himself between your thighs before holding your legs down with his shins. his hands dart out, grabbing your jaw in one hand before placing the other snug around your neck. the man can feel the rush of his blood flowing through his veins, ears ringing as he admires how pretty you were underneath him—pretty and helpless.
with a sudden urge, he darts his head forward to take a long whiff of your hair, eyes rolling back in ecstasy. he barely even registers the tears wetting the hand holding your face. jaemin is too far gone in his head because finally, fucking finally, he has you right where he wants you and absolutely no one can steal you away from him anymore.
meanwhile, you try hard to push him off of you but the pressure he’s applying to your legs proves too much. the hand encased around your throat pulls away and your happiness was short-lived as jaemin reaches for something above your head. it glints against the sole fluorescent light in the basement—
you freeze at the sight of his pocket knife.
he laughs, sounding too sweet and lighthearted. “now, now. i won’t hurt you…” 
you hold your breath when he drags the knife across your body. from your collarbones, down the valley of your breasts, and finally settling at the bottom of your shirt. “i won't hurt you if you don’t move around too much.”
the sound of fabric ripping against the sharp blade made you want to thrash as hard as you can but jaemin had purposely angled the knife so the tip dragged against the surface of your skin. bile rises up your throat when you notice the way he eyes every inch of your torso as its slowly revealed to him. 
“see, i know you’re a good girl. i just have to force it out of you sometimes, huh?” he mocks, quickly hooking the knife under your bra so he needn’t struggle reaching for the hook in the back. 
his reaction is immediate the moment he sees you bare before him. he doesn’t even grant you the chance of hiding when he’s managed to hold your wrists in one hand, the knife clattering loudly on the floor as he surged forward, lips latching onto one of your breasts as his free hand feels the other one up. you turn your head to the side, not wanting to see his ministrations. until one particularly hard nip makes you yelp, his teeth latching painfully against a nipple before glaring at you through his eyelashes. 
“eyes on me.”
jaemin can’t have you turning away from him. it simply looks like another act of defiance, as if you were depriving him of the expressions of pleasure found in your face as he continues to lick and suckle at the skin of your breasts, purple and red blooming on your skin. 
when jaemin retracts from you to pull his shirt over his head, you made the last feeble attempt of trying to escape him. you’re able to free one of your legs from underneath him and have successfully delivered a kick to the groin. jaemin folds in pain. you managed to flip onto your stomach, dragging your body away with just your arms. you’ve only managed a few inches, chains rattling aggressively, when you felt his nails dig into the back of your thighs. 
“fuck,” he grunts. “you’re going to fucking pay for that, pretty thing.”
he turns you around with one hand, unfazed by the pitiful look of your tears and snot cascading down your face as he looms over you, his knife in one hand as he fists your hair. 
you shook violently as you brace your hands against his bare chest. jaemin would’ve revelled at the feeling of you touching him if you hadn’t kicked him in the balls only seconds ago. 
“jaemin, please… i don’t want any of this—”
“you’re so cute, begging like anything could get you out of this.”
you flinch, eyes shutting closing on instinct. you feel something sharp poking on your neck, and it only takes you a fraction of a minute to register that jaemin is now holding his knife against your throat. digging the blade enough for you to know it’s there but not hard enough to draw blood. 
“look how much you’re shaking, baby,” he coos, the tightness in his pants becoming unbearable as he gives you a one over. “such a sheltered kid, aren’t you? no wonder you’re so fucking naive, always making mistakes. always making the wrong judgement. you’re used to depending on someone, right? well…” 
jaemin slices the skin above your collarbone. you don’t scream, the fear of him slicing your throat all together lies heavy in the air. 
“…it’s a good thing you met me, huh?”
fuck you.
“i’m here, baby. you can depend on me all you want,” the giddiness and the sudden spark in his eyes make you dread what he’ll do next—you hear the sounds of a belt unbuckling. “i’ll bathe you, i’ll feed you, dress you up, but…”
there are no tears left when you feel his fingers pulling your shorts down together with your underwear. no tears left when you feel the tip of his cock prodding at your entrance. 
“…you’ll have to give me something in return. that’s what good girls do, right?”
you screamed.
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danwhobrowses · 3 years ago
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AEW: Booking Hangman's Title Win
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Hangman Page seems all but destined to be the man who takes the belt from Kenny Omega. Two different stories have unraveled since their break as a tag team with Kenny the heel world champion and Hangman the babyface man of the people. But it does feel like this long story still has plenty of chapters to go, and while we wonder how this story will continue to unfold, this is how I would do it.
Kenny unravels as Hangman Rises Omega's road to All Out is a turbulent one, and since chances are he won't go to NJPW, NWA or ROH to continue his belt collection, I think the Belt Collector's time is about to come to an end.
July 17th will mark the end of his Impact reign, losing to Sami Callihan at Slammiversary. Don has already been 'fired' from Impact so he will have little leverage to save him this time around, I don't think even TK can give him any special treatments either. Then in August 14th, he will lose the Mega Championship at Triplemania XXIX to Andrade El Idolo. Not only does this give Andrade gold to carry around on AEW but also will cement the fact that he can beat Omega - which will come into play much later.
This leaves the illustrious belt collector with one: the AEW World Championship. Because Omega's character has been super cartoonish, I expect him to grow very self-conscious about the fact that people want to take his title, think Gollum crossed with that coach in The Waterboy. Unhinged Kenny will juxtapose a much more mentally together Hangman, who keeps on winning clean. This all leading to the third destination
Kenny Omega vs Hangman Page at All Out.
Elite Mind Games Although he is the top of the ranks, Hangman has often dodged the question regarding the world title. Deep down Hangman is still has mixed feelings regarding the Elite, and whether he is worthy or able to defeat Hangman; he's fallen short multiple times after all. This is Kenny's in to get the mental edge over Hangman.
Because their split didn't have a full stop, Kenny will pretend to his adversary that they are still friends, he will lure Hangman to doubt himself by giving him what he desperately wanted last year: forgiveness from the Elite. Feigning the olive branch with the Bucks, the Elite will poison Hangman's mind to be unprepared for shenanigans, they will draw him away from the Dark Order and at All Out, Hangman will go to face Omega alone.
All Out - Kenny Retains...just It could start as a clean contest, but the moment Hangman starts looking like he will succeed, the madness of Omega will once again show itself. Without anyone to help him, Hangman will be forced to push his babyface fire to the limits, he will fight through the entire Elite: the Good Brothers, Nick and then Matt. He'll hit the Buckshot, the Deadeye, 1, 2, Don stops it. Hangman will dismantle Don but then it's Kenny's turn, V-Trigger, One Winged Angel, 1, 2, 3.
On the second battle, Kenny wins once more, but it took every trick in the book he had to bring him down, the opponent he felt was a sure thing after his mind games, and it shows on his face. But it also shows on Hangman, because he fell for all of it and now he's alone again.
The Madness of Kenny / The Isolation of Hangman Becoming so close to losing will put Kenny at his most possessive, his most desperate. Kenny will grow erratic and hostile with each title defense, cheating all the more blatantly and willfully, a collection of OC, PAC, Andrade, Archer and Kazarian all knock on his door for specials like Grand Slam, Full Gear and the 2nd Anniversary but Kenny survives through his madness until he is a full shadow of himself.
Hangman though descends beyond rock bottom, not even feeling like he deserves forgiveness for pushing away the Dark Order. Hangman too will completely lose himself, losing his motivation to even wrestle let alone associate with anything relative to the Elite. We'll only see him at rare times, hiding in dark corners trying to avoid Marvez or completely drunk out of his mind in a pile of bags or coats, a sad sight to behold.
"If you all sit there and ignore it, you're all cowards!" Along the list of opponents waiting to face Kenny, Eddie Kingston must be near the end. Kingston, Moxley, Penta, PAC, Christian and Kazarian all at different times found common ground to try and defeat the Elite, but the distractions have proven too much.
Kingston will unsuccessfully challenge Kenny, but after his defeat he'll run into Hangman and dress him down, a scolding never before seen because Hangman is the one that he is disappointed with the most. Hangman overcame the numbers, he had Kenny scared but he has simply sat there and let the Elite continue this reign of terror while he throws a pity party for himself. Refusing to let Hangman regress either, Kingston will push Hangman into fighting him, so he can let out his frustrations and fears, but the Elite will be wise to this too.
Before Kingston and Hangman can have their rubber match, the Elite will attack Kingston and kayfabe injure him, preventing Kingston from making any more progress with Hangman. They'll feign their reasoning to not involve Hangman and feel like the deal is done, because Hangman - despite being in the top 5 - has disappeared once more.
Evening the Numbers At this point of booking I would see Kenny being the sole titleholder in the Elite. The Bucks already lost their tag titles a while ago and they fell short in a Trios tournament, so now they're mainly dedicated to keeping Kenny as world champion.
We'll have one more special where Kenny successfully defends his title again, let's say it's Winter is Coming. As the Elite celebrate a full year of Kenny's title reign in the ring, the music changes. Out comes Hangman, next in line due to the rankings, the Elite look concerned but confident that they can take him, but then around the ring they realise they have company: the Dark Order surround the apron and that leads to a brawl. The Dark Order have the advantage but Kenny is using the belt as an equalizer, taking out anyone that moves, but as he turns he eats a Buckshot Lariat and the show closes on Hangman standing tall, his eyes driven and focused on the prize.
Revolution: The Win Personally I would've liked to have done this for Full Gear or All Out, because there'd be the narrative there of either the beginning of Page's self-doubt (Full Gear when the Bucks kept mocking his physique in comparison to PAC) or his first failure to capture the title (All Out vs Jericho), but I don't think we can wait another full year for this, so it happens at Revolution. And Revolution is still sensible too, it was the tease of divide between the Elite and Hangman during their tag battle and it's the PPV after Kenny's anniversary as champion.
When Revolution's main event goes down Kenny is uncaged and will look to put Hangman away early, and every time Hangman fights back he becomes more and more scared. Every attempt at shenaniganry by the Elite will also be blocked off, either by the Dark Order or returning enemies like Mox, Eddie, Death Triangle, Daniels and Kazarian, not in Lumberjack style but in a way where we see that the narrative is AEW vs The Elite. This is the time where Hangman kicks out of the One Winged Angel, we'll tease it in the match but have him reach the ropes so the fans think he can't possibly kick out of a second or third one. When the lid blows off and Kenny is all out of options, he'll try begging, low blows, belt shots, chairs, anything he can muster to keep Hangman down, even mocking Hangman with a Buckshot variant of his V-Trigger for that extra spice of scumbaggery. But it comes to a final clash, both men on either side of the ring, wounded, exhausted, barely able to stand, but not looking away. One Last Move. Hangman's Buckshot, Kenny's V-Trigger, both collide but the Buckshot breaks through the V-Trigger, 1, 2, 3.
The majority of the locker room (I mean I don't expect the likes of IC, Andrade, Miro and Pinnacle to be all happy days about it) and maybe even the crowd can then invade the ring to celebrate with Hangman to close the night, completing the story while bringing up several other talents and keeping story opportunities for Hangman and the Elite to venture off on their separate ways.
Personally I feel like this - if done how I imagine it of course - would be a perfect closing of the Hangman saga, but others may not think so, and maybe AEW has thought of something I haven't which makes it even better, only time will tell. But I felt like getting that off my chest.
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artemuerto · 4 years ago
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Shelby Household Manor
Pairing: Thomas Shelby/Male Reader
Trigger Warnings: None. Unnecessary fluff.
Autor Note: You can take this as the original bonus, because while i was doing some research for a new story this idea got stuck in my head, it seems like the Shelby House won't let us go just yet.
Read on AO3
Part One
Part Two
Part Three
Leisure
Bonus #2
—7—
His presence was easily known by the man even with his eyes closed. The Shelby’s stayed outdoors for the clear and cloudy mornings were the weather wasn’t freezing. He walked with a slow pace and soon rested his tray on top of the table and while the young servant served the seemly napping Shelby, he could hear the easy, happy giggles from Charlie who was riding his new horse with mister Johnny. The fading clicking sound of the teacup alerted Tommy enough to tilt his head and looked at his servant. In response, the young one smiled brightly and gave the man a cup of warm black tea, it lacked sugar and milk and would never come close to the comfort Tommy felt from whiskey, but the head of the house found himself willing enough to at least indulge his servant into healthier beverages, at least, in the mornings. Later on, would said servant reach out for a bottle and a shiny glass to please his master.
Tommy accepted the cup with a soft lingering touch. Their relationship had grown in the long passing nights turned spring with the breeze of fresh air and blooming of flowers; Tommy was drawn to small, comforting touches that reassured him, his boy was alright. A brush of fingertips when delivering, short glazes in a room full of people, a fleeting hand on a shoulder for a request or the ghost transitory feeling of knuckles behind his back after leaving a room. Mister Shelby’s grown affection was not overbearing but always welcome, it made the boy feel safe. The boy was about to give Tommy another cigarette when Charlie demanded their attention.
Charlie was running toward them, they could hear him as the youngest Shelby scream for his father and later on for the boy standing besides him; Charlie had grown close to the boy to the point where he would only listen to the servant opposite to his father, the rest of the Shelby’s fought over that fact but also loved to tease the poor boy who flustered in shame, muttering apologies. In Charles’ eyes he was part of his family and the Shelby’s not only knew it but accepted as well. Charlie rested in his father’s arms only to beg moments after to be put on the boy’s arms later, even if he was growing tall for the touch to be comforting anymore, Charlie was never denied in cares.
“Dad! I’m able to ride the whole course.” Charlie informed showing his proud smile. The boy had been struggling to stay on his horse long enough to finish his ride around the stables, the animal is not wild but restless, listens to Charlie with a sharp intelligence that only makes Tommy glad but between his boy’s eagerness and the horse’s need to move freely, they have a lot to work on yet. “You should come ride with us.” Charlie said the servant making Tommy have a sip from his tea and wait for a positive answer. The boy smiled not reaching his eyes and shook his head no.
“I don’t ride.” Charlie instead of being sad from that statement looked more perplexed.
“Why?” By now, Tommy’s curiosity was peaked, he didn’t know the answer either.
“I don’t know how to ride a horse.”
And so, of course, that meant both Shelby’s were on their way to teach him how to be on a horse. They didn’t use Charlie’s horse, the poor boy still getting used to Charlie’s way to put him through all that all over again with another person. No, Tommy used one of his own, one horse he used to ride but not for the races, one of the couple he thought truly keeping for himself and finally doing so. The servant followed in awe as his master rode the animal with grace and expertise. Thomas came close to dismount the beast and walked guiding him by the hand so his servant could have a better look. The boy looked strangely afraid and Tommy had to ask.
“Are you alright?” The boy nodded fast and short but Tom was not convinced. Thomas held a hand for his young boy and waited until said boy was braved enough to comply. He could feel the younger one trembling hand.
“I’m scared of horses.” The young one confessed feeling silly for showing such fear in front of a man who could tame them in a heartbeat. Thomas hid a smile for the honesty in his boy’s words and shook his head resting importance to those words, there was nothing wrong with the boy for showing his fears and concerns. Tommy led him to animal and made him touch it first.
“It’s ok, love. He won’t hurt you. All you have to do is know him.” The young boy blushed feeling embarrassed at the dotting manner mister Shelby had, it was not common but not do far fetch and still made him feel odd. The sweet kindness and the share comfort was something he had troubles getting used to, however, mister Shelby never called him on it.
The boy touched the horse’s head and slowly caressed feeling the smoothness of its fur shinning in the morning sun, the animal seemed to catch on his uneasiness and stood still as if waiting to be inspected.
“Hello, beautiful.” The boy continued to feel the horse, slowly getting accustomed as the animal waited and watched, looking pleased to be pampered.
They kept walking around discovering each other under Tommy’s watchful eyes, never he left the servant alone even when Charlie wanted his attention, wanted to play and also ride. Johnny came close after hours stating Tommy was needed in a family meeting. Charlie walked with him by his hand and Tommy on the other side as plans were made for more mornings to come.
—8—
The afternoon sun was dying behind their backs. The young servant had had troubles finding his way and footing closer to the horse but both animal and owner had been patience with his fears, shaky limbs and concerns; by now, the young boy could sit with a saddle on, the first tries had been without one and the boy joked about being a gypsy superstition for his master but after the cold overpowering stared he had for doubting the man’s belief, servant stayed silent accepting his order. Mister Shelby took pity of him and his seemly sadness at not believing his master’s intentions.
“I told you before. You have to know him.” Tommy said placing a comforting hand on his back, low enough to reach the boy’s waist. “If you use a seat right from the beginning, he won’t trust you.” He drank his master’s words and relaxed his shoulders, his whole body turned to the man as his expression let away all his secrets. I’ll trust you no matter what.
He could not lie, the feeling was odd, after struggling to stay on the horse without a saddle, now that he had one —even knowing it should help him now—, he found himself thinking it felt way better being without it. Tommy as if sensing his train of thoughts laughed at his back. For moments, the boy forgot how close they where, mister Shelby convinced him to take a detour as he controlled the horse, riding next to Johnny and Charlie; the young Shelby had been static to know he could keep up with his riding by now, after weeks of practice and a couple of jump scares when he lost control.
The servant boy had fallen not many occasions but one was too many for Thomas’ heart. The Shelby had gone mad in pain seeing how the fragile body of his boy flied seconds before reaching ground with a dry sound, luckily the scared animal had run away from the lying body instead of causing more pain. Tommy had screamed his name in shock and held him in his arms checking he was, in fact, free from harm. The servant was disoriented and his lungs screamed internally for air, but other than bruises, the boy was fine. He had tried to convinced mister Shelby he was ok to walk but the man had refused to let him go, deciding to hold in in his arms and walked all the way back to the house in a steady pace.
He came back to his senses with the strong feeling of Tom’s arms flexing underneath his weight, his warm breath and the beating heart that claimed the servant as his one desire, and the whispering of his master asking whatever deity he believed for the boy to be ok. Needless to say, Charlie stood by his side all night after he went to sleep. What the boy wasn’t sure it was a sleepy dream or a blurry reality was the touch of Tommy’s dry lips on his forehead as he bedded goodnight and a promise of never letting anything happen to him again.
Taking a ride in the afternoons had become a new hobby for the family, Johnny took Charlie while Tommy rode with him, usually letting him practice by taking a hold on the animal and with each passing day, the boy seemed to be getting only better, Charlie used to ask for the servant to ride with him on the way back but Tommy found himself missing the comforting warmth his boy gave to his chest. It was on one of those rides back home where Tommy felt bold enough to make a move.
Feeling the boy shiver due to cold breeze, Tommy made him stay closer, covering him with his coat, he felt the boy melt in his touch and soon, talked in murmurs low enough to make him tremble in a new sense of anticipation. The careful touch of Tommy’s hand through his back, all the way until it rested on his waist, spoke of promises to come.
The slow and smooth steps of the horse only served to make more prominent the sensual touch as they moved as one and finally stood in front of the barn, the sky tainted with dark orange and fading reds. The boy moaned after Tommy left his hands rest on top of the other’s thighs, giving him the freedom to decided, the boy could move away, take Tom’s hands aside and any thought would be forgotten with the sleeping sun, or could let Tommy invaded him forever, made a home for himself within and live under his skin.
Tommy didn’t even try to hide his smirk when his boy’s cheeks lighted in crimson but surprisingly so, his boy retaliated with a kiss.
An innocent touch that connected their lips in a simple brush and took both of their breaths away. Giving Tommy the taste of something so sweet and pure. And his.
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