#as it always does

[hinmotion]

maybe it's the lunar new year or the deep conversation with my friends last night but i'm in my feels right now. about a lot of things. but also, about diamond and lego.

it's all over the places at the moment so i will (try to) write a more cohesive post later (if i have time admist all these new year house cleaning).

i want to put something out there right now.

so.

you are a male idol. you told your fans in live stream that you thought he were cute, unprompted, when you were asked about his bandmate. and then later you guys were in the same event, your fans teased you if you met him yet, you said no and then he quote tweeted that video saying if you wanted to meet then come say hi. and then you guys met. and then you did tiktok challenges with him. and then he gave you a birthday present and you posted on twitter about it. and then more tiktok challenges. and then you guys collaborated on a dance video of your romantic song about being attractive to someone and wanting to dance with them, as a gift for fans celebrating your mv got 1m views. and then you always tell everyone that he is cute when being asked.

and then you waited 5 hours to catch his group's performance because you guys happened to be at the same job, just different time slots. and then you posted the photo at that same event where he interacted with you on ig with a romantic song. and then in an interview 'this vs that' style, when being asked who was the person you like the most in this building (that you were working in and have multiple long-time, close friends and co-workers of yours) you choose him over and over again and even promoted his socials and his group's latest song. and then in another game, just by seeing his shadow for a brief second, you successfully recognized his photo and won points. and then you always tell everyone that he is cute when being asked.

and then you guys went out to fix his in-ear monitors, eating, shopping, taking photobooth photos and filming another tiktok challenge. and then at a friend's birthday party, you guys took photos together and you posted it on ig. and then you guys went to the same year end party, when he danced on the table, you were afraid he would fall so you hold it with your hands and feet and even sat on it. and then when he wanted to get down from the table, you reached out, hold his hands and helped him landing (?) with a hug.

not to mention all the flirtatious, joking replies at each other all over social media or when interacting with fans, both online and in real life.

publicly having affection for someone with the same gender. but like you guys are both asian celebrities. as a k-pop fan, it's just so different than what i have experienced before, where dating or even mentioning other idols as your type is a sin. any hints of affection is either treated with obsession or toxicity. not to mention the reactions to gay idols or possible gay celebrities relationship.

it's also different in a culture where bl and real people shipping are prevalent. they both were teased continuously by fans, bandmates, friends, co-workers. reporters also joked and pestered them in many ways, that sometimes i got uncomfortable, but seeing even their hardcore solo fans didn't seem to mind make me think it's more of a cultural thing.

and yet diamond still doesn't shy away from it. from anything he was asked about lego. about their relationship. sure, there are things he ignored or declined to answer. he always tell everyone that lego is cute when being asked. he consistently tells everyone, through words and actions, that he adores lego so much.

he could just be more lowkey to avoid all the hassles and the inappropriate shippers. but he didn't. and i don't think he ever will. same with lego. and that's beautiful. it makes me feel warm and fuzzy. like they got to live true to their feelings and themselves. they got to build the personal relationship and bond that they want. they got to publicly show that they like each other. they feel safe enough to do it.

and that's is soooooooo.

good for them.

i don't know how to end this. i don't know if it's the right thing to write all of this.

i want to live more as myself like them. to be a little bit more honest and in tune with my feelings and thoughts.

i want to live in a world where people can express themselves safely and like who they like and love who they love.

[little-pup-pip]

Hello everyone, guess who's sick once again :( If you guessed me, you'd be right! I feel pretty badly sick right now, so moodboards will be slowing down until I feel a little better. I feel kinda bad about this, because I've missed a lot of uploads recently, (have this cake to make up for it) but I at least have the last day of my 25 Days of Moodboards collection ready to go!!

I'm going to try to reblog some cool stuff by other people while I'm out of commission, so I'll still be kinda active on here! I'm going to take a nap now, see you all soon!!

[maxbytes]

Well. I think your stuff rules and kicks ass enough for at least 3 people. So your self hatred is in vain because my love is more powerful than your hate. One billion positive blasts

obligatory thanks but i can't believe you as i'm incapable of receiving nice words at the moment

[yarodrags]

They consume me

Being a fanartist and creating ur own angst bs hits different WHY DID I THINK IT WAS A GOOD IDEA

[laniidae-passerine]

a wonderful, bright and brief whole two minutes where it seemed like Barry was maybe a good dad

[laughinglynx]

.

[dontpetmeibite]

knowledge is power. be careful of how you use it. if you ever say you're dumb i don't trust you. either you're lying or you don't use the three whole brain cells you've been blessed with 

hahahahaha no.  Glit is a medic but in no other way is he smarter than me.

[hawkeyefierce]

MD11

[mesaprotector]

i think i'm very possibly the biggest akanesasu shoujo/the girl in twilight fan in the world outside japan which is a weird feeling

actually it's not impossible that even including japan i'm still first

if anyone proves me wrong i will be so happy you have no idea

[key-likeahousekey]

I feel that there was some part of me that is, was, and always has been made for sorrow. I have been designed for it in such a way that it drapes on my body so elegantly, a wearer made for the robe.

I feel that there was some part of me that is, was, and always has been created for 4 am thoughts, for being unable to sleep in the arms of the one I love, for aching to be asleep with the rest of the world.

I feel that there is some part of me that will never be okay again. I feel that there is some part of me that will close off all over again because of this. I feel that there is some part of me that knows it is all too much for me to handle.

I feel, I feel, I feel, I feel, I feel, I feel,

I feel that there is some part of me that is, was, and always will be hurt, aching, and left on the ground in a pile of shards, shards of myself that you broke, shards of my life, my personality, my hopes and thoughts and dreams.

I feel that there is some part of me that will never move forward.

I feel. I feel. I feel.

[mythicamagic]

One of my favourite things when reading fanfiction is when you click with an author's style so much that you adore the fanfiction you're reading, and once it's over you need more. So you go to their page and hope that there's more for any fandom you might know- only there isn't any. They've written for other fandoms you aren't familiar with and never would've thought about before.

But you're down so bad for their style and talent that they got you wading in like:

[inkskinned]

she's singing in another room and my dog is asleep at my feet. my grandma asked me why i haven't found a man yet and i laughed. oh, you know. i like my house clean.

my girlfriend is also my man is also "my partner" if i'm in a professional setting. yesterday we went to a ren faire and a man mimed at me - you're together? and at my delighted nod, his baffled, you're gay? made me laugh. a woman with rainbow hair said i love the two of you together. you're both so beautiful it's absurd.

my dad introduced my partner as my "..... friend. or whatever" the other day. he knows we're dating. in the same way, i was never able to get my sister's husband to stop saying that's gay like it's 2008. he still uses the word fa***t, and my sister's defense of him has always been well, he's just kidding.

my lover and i dance to old music in a tiny kitchen. we judge new music together and take food critique very seriously. we watch love is blind before we fall asleep and agree that if they had a queer season, it would be bloody but also make for excellent tv. of fucking course queer people would know someone for only 2 weeks and agree to get married. what are you saying.

at a bar with friends, a man puts his hand on my wrist. got a boyfriend? and yes, i do have a boyfriend, she's amazing. i am texting her while i wander around a gas station named after geese. i am visiting a swing state for a wedding. in the candy aisle i overhear: she's actually like a lesbian it's disgusting. two teenage girls with packaged sandwiches in their hands, giggling. no literally, like. i'm not, like. okay with her being there while we're all, like, naked and changing.

my girlfriend and i tailgate, drink gin and cider out of cups. from the frat group beside us, a man corrects himself with one of his friends: bro, i mean, nonbinary entity, and it makes everyone around him laugh, myself included. he razzes his friend the same way i would have killed for at 19 years old - like nothing happened, he continues: you apply sunscreen like an alien. he does a little sassy (and fairly accurate) dance interpretation of the motion. his friend is laughing so hard they're crying.

i am lucky, i live in a safe neighborhood in a safe state. my masc passenger princess comes up from DC. i drive her for an hour to where all the leaves are a violent arrangement of color. we walk along the trails, letting autumn into our blood. in this part of the state, there's a lot of pickup trucks and trump signs. when we chastely kiss before getting into the car, i accidentally make eye contact with a woman holding her child's wrist. she looks disgusted. she looks fucking pissed.

two hours later my girl and i are eating dinner on a patio, soaking in the last warmth of new england sun before the chill of winter sets in. we are giggling and trying to talk through plastic vampire teeth. at another table, i see a young woman sit up straighter. i watch her watch us. she blushes and takes her partner's hand from across the table. shy, like the taste of evening has just become something deeper.

it's worth it for this moment, i think. my lover is still humming the same song she's been singing for four days straight and i don't want to kill her for it. her guitar is beside my bed. her toothbrush is in my bathroom. in a few moments i will make us lunch. we are lucky enough to have found each other. it is lucky enough to be in love.

[frownyalfred]

actually the idea that Dick, the eldest, the only one who ever wore the cowl long term, the only one who raised a Robin on his own, is also the only one who can successfully, perfectly replicate that barked ROBIN! in Bruce's voice? the only one who can pull that exact tone from the depths of his soul, to the point where his voice is identical, so identical that old Robins like Jason are obeying before their minds even realize their bodies are moving? that Dick is the only one, has always been the only one, who can channel Bruce's voice? can channel Batman himself? I am going feral

[elainemorisi]

the general People's definition of attractive qualities is perplexing, man

[1alchemistart]

cries mournfully. guess who's been reading fics lately JSDFKLSDKL

[chloesimaginationthings]

The FNAF Vanessas meet their younger selves..