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bellysoupset · 3 months ago

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Now I need a fic about the boxing class! I was thinking maybe Jonah ate either something bad, or he ate too much, or he was just feeling kinda weird before the class but didn’t think anything of it. And somebody in class either accidentally or on purpose punched him in the stomach(if that happens in boxing idk). I’d also like it if the whole fic was from Jon’s POV, but if you feel differently that’s fine to.

If for any reason you don’t feel like writing this no hard feelings.

"Faster," Bella panted, raising her arms as guards and glaring at Jonah. The man huffed, wiping the sweat from his forehead with his forearm.

"Bells-"

"Faster!" She scoffed and Jonah gritted his teeth, throwing a harder punch at her. Bella moved away quickly, bouncing on her feet and opening a smug smile, before kicking in his direction.

Jonah was too slow, too tired and new at this, to avoid the kick and he crumbled to his knees with a pained gasp, clutching his stomach, "fucking-" a burp snuck up and Jonah slammed a hand over his lips when it turned loud and wet. He gulped down, "fuck you, Bella."

"Sorry," Bella crouched down next to him, still shaking slightly with a chuckle, "I didn't think it was going to hit that high-" she removed one of her gloves in order to plant it in his naked back, "sorry."

"Uhm," Jonah panted through the nausea and finally straightened up, sitting on the mat, "I think I'm done."

"It's the end of the class," Bell pointed out, removing her other glove, "I didn't mean to be so rough, I'm really sorry."

"It's fine," Jonah removed his own gloves, getting up, "I'll see you outside?"

"Yep," Bella jumped up quickly and they walked out of the mat, to the different locker rooms.

Jonah's easy attitude slipped off the minute he was alone in the bathroom. He moved to one of the stalls and took slow, measured breaths. If he was honest, this had little to do with Bella's kick straight to his gut. He had overdone it at lunch - not his fault the cafeteria served salmon for the first time in the month! - and all the jumping around in the gym had already been making him nauseous, the kick had only taken it up a notch.

He leaned back against the thick plastic wall and forced up a couple burps, muffling them in his fist. His stomach churned uneasily and he could taste lunch all over again, causing him to shudder, but the small release of air helped a bit and Jonah gulped down the watery sensation in his mouth.

Feeling like it was more or less safe to leave, Jon headed to the shower area.

Bella was waiting for him just outside the gym, clad in tight jeans, combat boots and an oversized biker jacket, her long curly hair was out of the braids she sported during class and limp and wet. She had that familiar frown on her face, that Jonah knew by now was just her face and lit up as she saw him.

"Hey, took you forever," Bella teased him lightly, reaching without thinking to push a humid coil from his hair away from his eyes, "do you wanna get dinner?"

It was a court day, meaning Leo was going to get home super late, so Jonah shrugged, "yeah, sure," he looked around, "you're driving today?"

"No, Luke dropped me off, he said I should call," Bella moved so she was side by side with Jonah and they started walking down the street, "if you ask me, I think he's boycotting my car."

"As he should, that's a relic from the triassic period," Jonah laughed, causing her to pout.

"Don't say that, she's my baby," Bella groaned, "I drove her here all the way from New Mexico more times than I can count, she's a trooper."

"That means she's probably a safety hazard," Jon rolled his eyes, trying to ignore the fact the heavy feeling from before was returning, sitting in his stomach like a brick, "how's work coming along?"

Bella was incredibly easy to talk to, she never took any of Jon's curt answers to the heart and offered some of her own straight to the point, no nonsense jabs.

As they walked to the restaurant they chatted about her job — she had a big project happening and everyone was super stressed about it and taking on jobs that weren't theirs to try and speed the process along —, Jonah shared some of the stories from Europe and got chewed up for treating Angie like a little kid.

"She's turning eighteen in what, a couple of months?"

"October," Jonah grumbled, holding the restaurant door open for her and Bella walked in backwards so she could keep looking at him.

"Less than six months then," she grabbed his forearm to pull him to the table she had already decided on, "I get that you're still finding your footing, but she's a big girl."

"She doesn't act like a big girl," Jonah scoffed, sitting down in front of Bella and grabbing the menu so he could avoid her piercing gaze, "she's a baby."

"She's spoiled," Bell's voice was matter of fact and Jonah looked up to glare at her, only to realize this was not a discussion he was going to win. Bella was the only one who'd ever tell him something this and stand by her opinion, Leo and Vince were both too polite to say it and Luke had no ground to even recognize it, Wendy had brought it up only once and raised her hands in defeat when Jonah prickly about it. Bella didn't give a single fuck.

He sighed and looked back down.

None of the plates looked remotely appetizing. Jonah squirmed in his seat as he felt his pants digging in his stomach, flipping the page of his menu and avoiding looking at the pictures. His belly let out a loud whine, although the restaurant's noise covered it up and Jon felt his gut bloat up a bit more.

"You don't have to glare holes in the menu, Jon," Bella rolled her eyes and reached in to grab his wrist, until he looked at her, "she's spoiled, I can say because I married the male version of her."

"Don't say that," Jonah groaned and Bell smiled, pulling back her hand.

"I don't mean it like that, I mean I married someone who was spoiled as well. And trust me, you gotta let her mess up on her own and not try to Yoda her through life, otherwise she'll make her mistakes later, when the consequences are bigger and much less understandable. You're not making her a favor by doing that."

"When you put it like that," Jonah sighed, shutting the menu, "I'm not really hungry."

"I'm starving," Bella put hers aside as well, "I'll order a big one and we can share, how about? This way you're not ordering a full one just to eat half of it?"

Jon would rather not eat anything, but he knew saying that, especially after they had spent two hours exercising, was going to raise a red flag for her. He nodded, "yeah, alright. What are you ordering?"

"Ribs," Bells opened a smile, "you want a beer?"

Fuck no, Jon flinched at the thought and shook his head, "nope, I... Uh," he opened the menu again, "I'll have an orange juice."

A waiter approached their table and Bella told him the order, causing Jonah to frown as she asked for two juices, "you don't have to not drink as well, Bell-"

"No, it's fine," she shushed him with a handwave that caused the waiter to chuckle, "I think that's all, thank you."

Bella launched herself into telling him all the gossip from their gym and Jonah was enthralled enough he momentarily forgot about his upset stomach, only to be starkly reminded of it as the large plate of glazed ribs was put before them, as well as the two glasses.

The smell was overpowering and Jonah leaned as far back as his chair allowed, gulping down nervously, while Bella served herself.

His stomach churned at the sight of the ginger tearing into the meat and Jonah breathed slowly through his mouth, reaching for the juice, hoping he could push everything further down.

As he was too busy fighting the growing nausea, Jonah was barely paying any attention to whatever Bell was saying, until she quirked her head and waved in front of his eyes.

"Anyone home?" She raised her eyebrows, "you zoned out on me."

"Sorry," Jonah gulped down, moving once again and tugging on the waistband of his pants. He really wanted to undo them, they felt like they were cutting in his tummy, "you were saying?"

Bella squinted at him, picking up a rib and pushing the plate his way, "you're not eating."

"Not hungry," Jonah shrugged and she frowned.

"Well, I can't eat all of it, at least get a bite," Bella licked the sauce off her fingers, "you heard about Vince's new little friend?"

"Little-" Jon grimaced and muffled a burp against his had, "little friend? He got a cat or something?"

"No," Bella snorted, "it's a coworker that he's made his mission to adopt. Luke hates him, it's all he complains about now. That Max this, Max that, Max is short, Max is annoying, Max is taking up too much attention, Max is a jerk-" Bella's amusement was evident in her words, "he's like a little kid."

"Max annoying Luke already puts him in my good graces," Jonah forced a smile, which quickly turned sour when Bella chugged the rest of her juice and gestured to the half eaten plate.

"I can't eat anymore, all yours."

Jonah genuinely tried to eat, grabbing the secondary set of fork and knife and tearing a rib apart, but he couldn't even bring it up to his lips. The smell was too strong and his queasiness turned up a notch, causing him to gag and drop the fork back down, turning his head.

"Knew it," Bella sighed, rolling her eyes, "you're not half as good an actor as you think, Jon," her voice was sarcastic, but still kind and she got up with a sigh, circling the table to pat his arm, "c'mon, big guy, let's get you out of here before you cause a scene."

"If you knew I felt like shit why didn't you say something?" Jonah groaned, grabbing his ditched jacket and leaning into her arms, as Bella guided him towards the door.

"Why didn't you?" She scoffed, helping him out, "stay here, I'll get the bill."

Outside the air was much colder and there wasn't the overwhelming smell of food, but his stomach wasn't feeling even a little bit settled. Jon moved away from the entrance, to the other side of the street, and braced against his knees, taking deep breaths.

He could feel his lunch flipping inside of him and Jonah coughed weakly, blowing out a deep belch and staring at his shoes. It felt like just ten seconds passed, but he knew it was longer, when Bella wrapped an arm around his back and helped him straighten up.

"I'll drive you home, c'mon," she planted a hand on his chest, bracing him and Jonah let out a groan, feeling humiliated.

"Sorry..." His stomach let out another loud growl and he didn't bother muffling the belch, only turning his head. It was sickeningly wet and he groaned under his breath, "gross..."

"Don't be stupid, you're not gross," Bella reprimanded him sharply, rubbing his back. She was quiet for a second, before saying in a smaller voice, "were you sick already...? Is this because of the kick?"

"No," Jonah pressed a hand over his lips as they kept walking back to the gym, "lunch..." his mouth watered at the thought, "lunch just- just isn't- Sitting well..."

Bella moved her hand down, from his chest to his stomach and Jon felt his whole face burn. Not only a belly rub from her was mortifying enough, but it was even more so in public.

The street was deserted though, they had already left the area with the most commotion, and Bell's fingers against his bloated stomach managed to work up another thick belch. It burned his throat, bringing up a splash of sickness with it, that Jonah gulped convulsively.

"Fuck," he whined, feeling clammy and jittery, "I'm gonna be sick."

"Now or-"

She never finished her sentence, because Jonah's grabbed on her shoulder to push her out of the way and bent in half, just in time to redecorate the patch of sidewalk they were on.

He groaned loudly, wrapping an arm around his upset stomach and feeling the gurgling inside, struggling to spit the ropey saliva.

"Aw, darling," Bella's voice was incredibly gentle and she had jumped back, but the tip of her sneakers were covered in white specks of the chunky vomit. Yet, she was rubbing his back, unbothered, "it's alright, get it up, Jon..."

Jonah's stomach gave another growl and he nearly went down with a unproductive heave, his ears going totally deaf for a second as he struggled to breathe and coughed up another disgusting splash of sick. He moaned, burping softly and squeezing his eyes shuts, hearing his heart in his ears, drowning all noise out.

"Jon?" Bella's voice filtered through after a minute and he realized she was almost hugging him, to keep him standing, "Jonah, you're alive over there?"

He coughed, burping once more and nodding, finally opening his eyes. It was a gruesome sight and he let out a groan, immediately closing his eyes again, "Ew... I'm sorry..."

Bella's voice was lighthearted and amused as she patted his back, "please, in the Atwood scale this was barely a seven," her pats forced up another belch, "hold on me, let's move around..."

Slowly she maneuvered him away from the disgusting puddle and Jonah let out a yelp as he felt Bella's hand go in his front pocket, "that's sexual harassment, Bella."

"You must think my standards are incredibly low if you think I'm making a move on you given what I just watched," Bella snorted, then he heard his car key's clicking and his car beeping.

Jonah opened his eyes, wiping at his mouth and the clammy sensation, taking a deep breath, "well, yeah. You married Lucas."

Bella let out a cackle, shoving his arm, "get in the car, asshole. I'm gonna drive you home."

#mywriting #sickfic #emetophilia #emeto #jonah banks #indigestion #loved writing this unconventional pairing heehehe

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seoll3miwrites · 6 months ago

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Doing Time | Criminal Minds S.R

Chapter 6. Vegas

Spencer and Hana should probably talk about the other night, if only their wan't so important and distracting. Or maybe they're just coming up with excuses. Chapter Title: Vegas by Doja Cat

Spencer and Hana hadn’t spoken about the drunken kiss they’d shared only a few weeks ago. It had only been a three days after that night they’d been sent out on another case in , but once they’d gotten back to DC neither knew how broach the subject. Even now as they sat next to each other on the jet heading to Las Vegas, New Mexico, they both struggled to start a conversation about that night; so they didn’t.

“I wish it was the fun Las Vegas.” Hana complained as she ate the salad Sasha had made her that morning.

“Did you know I’m from Vegas?”

“Really?” She turned to him, perking up in interest, “Does this mean I should bring you with the next time I head to the casinos?”

“I would sat yes but I’m actually banned from majority of the casinos in Vegas.” He informed her nonchalantly.

“Holy shit!” She exclaimed in surprise, “I was wrong you got a little bad side to you, Doctor.”

He laughed at her, which encouraged Hana to laugh as well. Out of habit she hit him slightly on the arm as she continued to laugh, before catching her breath. The pair were soon joined by the rest of the team in order to get a general profile before they land.

“Is there even anything interesting about this Las Vegas?” Hana questioned to start the discussion, which Spencer was happy to contribute.

“In the late 19th century, it was a booming railroad hub with a reputation for lawlessness, and apparently, outlaws are a part of the town's genetics. Billy the Kid lived there, and Doc Holliday himself had a saloon there before going to meet Wyatt Earp in Tombstone.”

“The more things change, the more things stay the same.” Rossi chimed in, looking through the case file.

“All the victims in both instances were teenagers, except for Jose Rivera.”

“A younger staff, that's pretty typical for a night shift.” Morgan chimed in, to add extra information.

“The unsubs might have considered that. It would be easier to subdue a group of kids.”

Tara leaned forward slightly so she could contribute, “Almost an identical M.O. Copycat or no, why go back to this town and do this again?

“They could be sending some kind of message to announce their return.” Spencer suggested, followed by Rossi’s other idea.

“Or it just might be criminal ego. They got away with it the first time. Why not do it again?”

“Could also be about reliving it, if it is the same unsubs they might be wanting to relive the ‘glory days’.” Hana noted although she didn’t consider killing teenagers and arson as something someone should see as their ‘glory days’

“With unsubs this violent, how do you just disappear and go dormant for 6 years?” Morgan questioned, continuing to build the profile.

Hotch turned towards Morgan before speaking, “They may have been in prison. That would explain the criminal experience.”

“Crime U., best education taxpayer money can buy.” Rossi uttered making Hana smirk slightly, yet she hid it behind her hand at the glance she received from Hotch.

“When we land, I'll have Garcia compile a list of recently released convicts in the area. Morgan, you and Reid go with Federov to the coroner when we land. Lewis, you're with Dave and me at the local PD.”

With that the team waited until they landed until they wait their separate ways. Hana followed Spencer and Morgan to one of the 3 cars waiting for them before heading off to the coroner. The arrived only a few minutes later, exiting the vehicle the trio made the way towards the building. The wind was slightly strong and kept blowing Hana’s hair into her face. She gather her hair and went to tie it into a pony tail only to realise that she didn’t have a hair tie on either wrist. Sighing heavily, she released her hair, allowing to flow in the wind.

As they continued walking, Hana felt a tap on her shoulder and turned to face Spencer to her right. He handed her something before continuing towards the building. She looked down to see that he had handed her a small black hair tie. Smiling slightly, she pulled her hair backup and tied into a messy ponytail.

“Thanks!” She called over to Spencer, who turned and smiled in reply.

Once they entered the building the met with the coroner who led them through to the morgue where the three victims laid on separate metal autopsy table. Hana felt a strange feeling as looked at the victims, this was the first time she’d seen someone younger than her. They had so much life left in them, so much potential. She wanted to catch these assholes. Or maybe just kill them.

Spencer leaned in to assess the victims, “Several antemortem wounds, facial lacerations, fractured jaw, a fractured skull.”

“Yeah, it was a brutal beating. All 3 of them had broken ribs, too.” The coroner responded as he read from his autopsy report.

“And ligature marks.” The doctor noted as he continued look over the bodies.

The coroner nodded before continuing, “Looks like the boys were bound with their own belts and electrical wires. I found leather and melted plastic in their clothes.” He spoke as he lead them towards the female victim, “Renee Acosta was different. There's evidence of sexual assault.”

“Any recoverable DNA?”, Morgan asked.

“None. Whatever wasn't destroyed by the fire got washed away by the sprinklers. But she was recovered without clothes on. And based on the cotton and nylon fibres I found around her wrists, I think they restrained her with her own underwear.”

Spencer looked up from the female victim, “That's precisely what happened to the female victim 6 years ago.”

“Those details weren't released to the press. These aren't copycats. These are the same guys.” Morgan noted in reply.

Hana looked between the two other agents before speaking, “The question still stands, I mean why come back now?”

As it turns out only one of the unsubs was the original perpetrators from 6 years ago. Duke Mason had returned due his old flame, who most likely gave birth to his son before he was imprisoned all those years ago. Garcia, the wonder that she is, was able to find Tammy Vasquez’ address, and now Hana was sat next to Morgan as the team drove their way over there.

When they arrived Chief Montoya reached the house first and made his way to the door to knock, everyone else gathered behind him.

“Ms. Vasquez! Police! Hello? Anybody home?” He called multiple times with seemingly no answer, “Nobody here.”

They turned to leave before Morgan heard a muffled cry in the distance, causing him to pause, “Wait a minute. You hear that?”, He moved towards the door before knocking, “FBI! Anybody here?”

Hana moved closer to the door and heard more sobbing coming from the house, she nodded at Morgan to show she heard it too. “There's somebody in there.”

The officers went around the back as Morgan kicked open the door. Moving through the house, Hana made her way through following closely behind Morgan. Turning a corner the pair found an older woman tied up with duct tape across her mouth.

“Guys.” Morgan called as he made his way to the woman tied up, “It's ok. It's ok, I got you. I got you. Are you hurt?”

“No. I'm fine. He took them. He took them both.”

“We need to issue an Amber alert.” Rossi stated a turned around back outside the house. Hana stayed for moment longer making sure the other woman was okay, before following her team outside.

She walked towards Morgan and Rossi who were speaking to each other. While she didn’t catch the beginning of the conversation she heard Rossi’s question to Morgan. “What happened to Turner?”

“I bet it got pretty ugly when they split up.” Morgan suggested, car pulled up the scene and Spencer step out running slightly towards them.

“Hotch is out coordinating roadblocks and canvassing the area, but so far nothing.” Spencer spoke, giving them an update.

“Why switch directions are risk coming all the way back here?”

Rossi shrugged slightly before answering, “He's strung out and believes that boy Cole is his son. He's capable of anything.”

“We should extend the Amber alert.” Spencer suggested to which the team all nodded in a agreement.

Chief Montoya shouted as he made his way over to the team, “Agents! Tammy Vasquez' pickup truck was spotted heading south on Route 34.”

“Is that far from here?”

“About 10 miles or so. State police have major roadways on the other end blocked off so he can't get out, but it cuts through the Santa Fe National Forest. If he knows what he's doing, he can hole up out there for weeks.”

“Where would he go to access fresh water?”

“There's an old abandoned campground. It doesn't get used much. Sometimes the kids go up there to drink.”

“He'd want to go someplace familiar.” Rossi observed

“That’s probably where he took them.” Hana stated as Spencer turned to her, a strange expression on his face.

“Agents, if you don't mind me making a suggestion,” Montoya spoke as he lifted a map for everyone to see, “I know that place like the back of my hand.”

Hana stood next to Rossi as her and the team listened as he pointed to the map at a certain point where they could move if they wanted to catch Mason by surprise. After the plan was set up, they separated into small groups and headed towards the campsite.

When they arrived Hana noticed the car park up, and two figures that appeared to be arguing, she turned to Rossi who nodded to indicate it was time to intervene. Signalling to the other groups who moved in to the figures.

Noticing the guns each of them was holding, Morgan stood out slightly to announce their presence, “FBI, drop the weapon!”

In response, Hana heard the one with the long hair shout something before the pair began to fire at the police and agents in the trees. In the firefight they were able to take the long haired with one sniper shot, but Mason stayed up longer.

Hana step out for one moment in attempt to get mother shot in, when she felt red hot pain exploded in her right side. She moved back behind the tree and put her hand against the pain source; only to find her hand coated in blood. The asshole had managed to get a shot clean through her shoulder.

“Shit!” She cursed as she put her back on the wound, “You motherfucker!”

“Language!” She heard the Rossi shout over from his position.

“With all due respect sir,” she replied, “I’ve been fucking shot!”

While she was shouting back she noticed the firefight had finally ended and saw Mason lying on the ground. The lack of bullets firing allowed Rossi to make his over to where she was now sitting against the tree.

“Don’t worry it was clean shot, I’ll just need stitches.” She reassured as her unit chief looked at her shoulder in concern.

“Someone should still take a look at it before we leave.” He ordered as he grabbed her uninjured left arm to help her up.

She smiled wryly at him, the pain still making her dizzy. “Careful, Sir someone might think you like me.”

Rossi laughed slightly before replying, “Oh we wouldn’t want that.”

After Hana was patched, she joined her team at the funeral of the victims, dressed in black sat between Spencer and Tara on a wooden church pew. That strange feeling that she felt when she saw the bodies had came back, causing her to clench the skirt of the simple black dress she was wearing. As she listened to the singer, and watching the parents say their last goodbyes; she realised it was sorrow. She’d felt sorrow before, but this was the first time she had mourned not only for these young victims but also for the lives they could’ve lived.

So, around some of the few people that she trusted, she allowed one tear to fall. Noticing the need for comfort she felt Tara reach out and grasp Hana's hand gently, to which she squeezed it in thanks. At least this time she felt sorrow; she wasn’t alone.

Prev Chapter // Next Chapter

#spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #season 11 #criminal minds oc #original character #fanfic #criminal minds #criminal minds fic #spencer reid x oc #11x04 #the bau team

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fellthemarvelous · 1 year ago

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The Small Back Room - Maggie's Record Shop (unhinged meta no one asked for, part 1)

I'm going to cover these in two separate posts because there are a lot. This post is going to be dedicated to the artists with multiple covers in Maggie's shop.

*This is all bonus content from The Arrival (2x1).

What is the purpose of the record shop? It's called The Small Back Room, and it's connected to Aziraphale's bookshop. And a small back room seems like a place someone would store their records.

"If I owned a record shop, I'd be more concerned about people breaking in and leaving more records behind." - Nina

And someone left more records behind. Records of "Every Day".

Aziraphale hears Gabriel sing a human song that Aziraphale is unfamiliar with, so he goes to the record shop to ask Maggie, who actually has way too many copies of "Every Day" because of a pub in Edinburgh, the place with the cemetery that has the statue of Gabriel.

There is more to it though. The pub called the Resurrectionist that plays "Every Day" over and over on the jukebox (and somewhere in America John Mulaney is cackling like a madman) now has direct ties with Aziraphale's personal life because they ended up in Maggie's record shop.

The place where they met Elspeth and Wee Morag, Mr. Dalrymple, messed with dead bodies, and where Crowley saved one woman's soul from Hell.

We heard one passage from Aziraphale's diary, and it was about the time he and Crowley went to Edinburgh that started off with them looking at the statue of Gabriel.

We know Aziraphale has more than 600 volumes of personal written history (as of 1827).

Where is he going to store records of his life on Earth? A record shop that no one other than him visits, attached to the building he owns.

The walls lined with record covers that are telling stories. Clues as to where the story is going to take us? Could they be Aziraphale's diaries or other important records Aziraphale has kept for thousands of years?

And is anyone else concerned about "Come on Over to Our Third Floor Apartment" or is that just me? Heaven is the third floor when you look at the button arrangements on the lift. ⬆️⬆️ ⬇️⬇️

Oslo Revival 1. Come on Over to Our Third Floor Apartment (We're Having a Party / Just for You / Four in a Bed / Have This Drink / It Doesn't Taste Weird / We'll Take Care of You / We Love You / You're One of Us Now / Together Forever) 2. Disguises (Carol and Her Hat / The Bicycle / Memories of a Windchime / Lunch / Who Am I Today? / Make Me Cry / Peggy Asked for Her Jumper Back) 3. It's Raining in My Kitchen (You Cast a Spell on My Wife / Running into Danger / Transcending the Patriarchy / Plumbing / A Dozen Eggs, (Too Many) / Someone New in the Bedroom) 4. Better Together

Kubasulu 1. Great White Lies (Fishy Business / Fluent in Shark-asm / Vanish into Fin-air / Gettin' Chummy / You're Gill-ty / No-fin Left to Lose / I Chews You) 2. Sweating in the City

Rat Keith 1. Look at This Mountain (The Mountain I Climbed / Assorted Wailing Chants of Peril / I Ate Some Berries (Shouldn't Have Done That) / What Happens on the Mountain, Stays on the Mountain / I See It in My Dreams / Soiled Leaves and Soft Bark / Don't Touch the Mushrooms / Huddle for Warmth / My Map Blew Away / This is My Home Now / Finally Rescued) 2. A Dog in God's Hot Car 3. Chem Trails

Raga Koboj 1. Raga Koboj 2. Earth, Swallow Me Whole (Why Can I Just Stay in Bed? / Sighing Loudly / No One's Going to Lunch / I'm Hungry But I Don't Want to Eat Alone / I Wonder What's on the Menu Today / Probably Something Mediocre / I'm Tired / It's Friday / I Wish It Would End) 3. Just Sounds 2.0 (Falling Coin / Stubbed Toe / Oops! / Rice in a Bowl / Spoon Clang / Gagging / Crinkled Paper / Bad Alphabet / Winded)

Deaf Dust 1. Change the Lightbulb (Cartwheels in Mexico / The cinnamon candle / Hold Me / Let Go / Who wait's for us? / Awesome / The basement's pretty dark / Broken Bulb / Stairway to your Mum's house) 2. Snapshots from the Moon

Randa Ransom 1. Doin' it in the Dust (Hard on the Rocks / Ridin' the Horizon / Tall Drink of Water / Wear My Hat / Call My Name / Let Me Use a Saddle / Just Us in the Dust) 2. I'm Lost and I Don't Speak the Language (Lost in Tokyo / WHat's that shop selling? / Sex Dolls (Self-Assembly) / Where's the Bathroom? / This Toilet is Singing / More Sex Dolls / There's a Cafe for Cats / I Want to Go Home / What's Home in Japanese? / Take Me Anywhere Taxi Man) 3. The Answer May Surprise You

Georgina O'Georgia 1. Gorgeous in Georgia ("Oh, George You're Gorgeous" / "It's Georgia with a G!" / "Get your hands off my hair" / "Yes, that's my real name") 2. Spur of the Moment

CT Bazz 1. Locking Up & Looking Down 2. Dank Balaclava

I've never seen anyone talk about these though, but they seem important. Have I missed conversation surrounding these? I'm just really curious as to what other people might think.

As I said above, there is a part two, but that part will cover artists with only one cover.

#good omens #good omens meta #maggie good omens #the small back room #aziraphale

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thegorysaint · 5 months ago

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Long Time No See

Hello everyone! I'm finally at the tail end of the rough month I had (and years).

I wanted to get back to streaming today but i think i will take a couple extra days and start on Tuesday. Now I will explain what happened, so if you are not interested in that you can skip the read no problem : )

Mid May I got a really bad case of gastritis that lasted for 3 to 4 days, meaning, I had really bad stomach ache, I honestly dont remember but i probably ate something too spicy. Then after that week on a Sunday at 2 am I got what i thought was an allergic reaction to some ham and salami. I went to the ER when I started feeling itchy all over and my face swollen.

I stood around the ER for about hour and a half and I was not getting treated, so i just decided to go at the drugstore for at least some allergic medicine, i was feeling better on the way home but as soon as i was pulling up I felt bad again, i was really tired, it was almost 6 am so i went to take a nap to rest and let the medicine work. I woke up an hour later with a rash all over my arms and itchy all over my neck and chest. I googled to see if there was a 24/7 doctor nearby and luckily there was one.

After explaining everything I got a shot for the allergic reaction and some pills to take the next 3 days. Omg, it was so bad, at that time i didnt know the shot should of taken care of the reaction, so i thought it was normal and was gonna go away with the pills. The rash was going away little by little the next couple of ways but still very itchy and visiting the bathroom too many times during the day (not the good kind of bathroom visits).

After going to the same clinic but different Doctor, i was diagnosed with Food Intoxication, not food poisoning or allergic reaction, I had a fever that i didnt notice. So they were gonna give me antibiotics pills but i asked to get the injections, because I know antibiotics are really bad for my gut and i was already at my limit with the bathroom visits. Luckily the Doctor said ok and i had to take only 3 injections, 1 each day, and some pills in case i felt more pain or fever. Literally 40 minutes after the first injection i felt great, no pain in my stomach or guts, it got so relaxed that i was able to burp and without feeling nauseous for the first time in a week.

I was finally so relaxed that i was able to sleep a full night. After the 3 days have passed i was feeling so good, better than what i've felt in the last couple of months. I was able to eat without wanting to puke it out as soon as it touched my mouth, and the bathroom only saw me once a day. Funny thing is, my brother came for a surprise visit so, while i was still recovering physically, he helped me to recover mentally, he stayed for a week and by the end of it i was feeling so good and full of energy (even tho I was under the sun sweating my butt off a couple of days).

He left before this past weekend so i've been just recharging my social battery. I was feeling so good i got into the pool a couple times to just relax, pretty much I had a vacation week because my bro was here (totally making me want to go to my hometown again but the heat is worse there for some reason).

So, for now I just need to get my energy back and not let the bad energies to return, I'm trying to focus this week on getting my sleeping schedule back to normal (something i fixed before i got sick), and trying to get in the rhythm of drawing again. I want to get some stuff before I go to visit my bro for a couple of months around mid August or September but I really need to sell some stuff I dont need. Also kinda making plans to move to Japan as soon as possible, the forecast for my country is not good with the election and if the new term people have it their way, Mexico is heading to a really bad place.

I wanted to visit USA before going to Japan to visit friends but obviously I havent been making enough money to save up, so unless i win the lottery that aint happening because my mom doesnt want to go to USA for whatever reason. That means I will start fully focusing on getting on track with projects so I can afford a living.

Sorry for the delay of all my stuff, last year was really bad mentally and physically for me, and sentimentally was devastated for the second year in a row, now I will try to focus on not getting attached to people for a while and just work work work (dont worry, that just means im not going to search for a romantic long term relationship, specially not long distance online)

So, I apologize for my lack of professionalism and I really appreciate your patience, it really means a lot.

https://www.patreon.com/posts/long-time-no-see-105561594

#update

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allamericansbitch · 5 months ago

Note

Tw: light mention of sa Thank you for letting me rant! Okay so I went to the lover secret sessions, I have a picture with taylor, I was in her house, she literally hugged me and gave me a kiss on my cheek and we exchanged "I love you's" and I ate her handmade cookies. And I'm not one of those people who met taylor once and act like she's their best friend because she's not and I know that and I've been criticising he hell out of her since last year. And there are so many celebrities out there who also do problematic shit but have a record for that and their reputation was never good in general and taylor isn't like that. Taylor is wildly beloved in the industry and there isn't any single story about her being mean perse to people. Like I haven't seen one single story of a person who met her saying that she was mean or something whereas other celebrities who have a long time record of being problematic often also have a record of being shitty people in general. Then there's this whole thing where she's been donating to every single city she tours in and she did that for the entire US leg, there were reports of her doing it in Brazil and Mexico and Australia and recently there was a new article that she's also continue doing it in Europe which is a great thing! Then the whole giving 50 million in total bonuses to all her eras workers was also a great thing. So I can still confidentially say that she still somehow cares about people. Definitely not enough and not how she should be but she isn't as terrible as some other celebrities (which obviously doesn't make her actions less worse cause they're still bad but just saying).

I'm just really conflicted by who she is because she's (apparently, that's what people say at least) one of the nicest celebrities out there but her recent actions have shown that she isn't a good person. I think it comes all down to how you define "good/bad person" because someone can be very nice and gentle with people but still lack at morals which is like the definition of taylor. I'm really confused by her because she's been so public last year (I'm not criticising that! She's allowed to go out and be papped and be public) that we've seen all her good and bad behaviour in public with our own eyes and she wasn't even trying to hide any of it when she was willfully out there with racists, zionists and sexual abusers. And I just really want to know what happened to the old Taylor? The one who didn't want the red tour movie to be out because the director turned out to be problematic, the one who said she believes in sa victims, the one who sounded so well-spoken on the whole mental health topic during the folklore long pond sessions. Given that the last thing I mentioned wasn't even four years ago. So what happened? Like she was talking so carefully about people's mental health when she explained her song this is me trying and now it seems like she forgot about all that. Maybe it's also because she became a billionaire and somehow she thinks that's a power move and since she's so on top of the world that nearly nothing can bring her down again she just doesn't care? But when she talked about sa, mental health and everything back then it really seemed like she meant it and it's hard for me to believe that she was lying back then because I really don't think she was but something drastically shifted in the last two years and all I know is that it's not the same taylor I met and hugged and said "I love you" to five years ago and it just makes me so sad. And sometimes I feel so guilty because even if I'd wanted to I could never completely unstan the person who was like the best part of my life once. I'm sorry if this comes out as parasocial but these are all my real feelings towards her and I would just like to know what happened to her? Because on the one hand (with some examples I mentioned up there) she seems like one of the most down to earth celebrities ever but on the other hand she's like completely out of touch with the real world with her jet usage, her being a billionaire, her now speaking up about things that really matter and all that. Like can one person be both of these things at the same time? Was the whole persona she was till 2023 just fake? Or did something genuinely happen last year? I just have so many questions and oh god what I'd do to just have like 30 minutes with her and have a real productive conversation about the whole last year to understand what's going on in that brain of hers because I truly don't understand and I don't wanna sound apologetic towards her but sometimes I think she doesn't even know herself what she's doing or she knows that she's doing something wrong (anti hero) but she just can't change it idk I just have too many questions and I know this will never ever happen but how much I'd wish that someone would bring her to her senses so that she becomes more lovable again.

i actually think about this a lot, the people who went to the secret sessions and how they deal with being so disappointed in her and her actions (or lack thereof) because that adds a hell bunch of layers to it and makes unstanning or anything similar much more complicated.

i genuinely think the thing that caused all of this was her ego being way too boosted. coming out of the pandemic and seeing how many more fans she had gotten with folklore/evermore, how many more younger fans had found her through tiktok etc, kind of broke something. and then how huge the eras tour is and her showing her whole ‘are you not entertained’ mindset/attitude really just showing she loves the attention and doesn’t care what happens as long as it’s her in the spotlight.

i don’t think her past self was a lie, i just think it’s something she thinks she doesn’t have to do anymore.

and what makes a good/bad person is a huge conversation that differs from person to person obviously, but i don’t think taylor being nice to those around her exclusively makes her an angel; we’ve just gotten so used to celebrities being so awful behind the scenes that it’s refreshing to know that a celebrity any for a change. i just think she’s very very ignorant about issues bigger than just her, she’s the kind of person to be nice to others when they’re in the same room but not pay attention to what’s going on outside of it- and that’s because of privilege. she’s never had to look outside of herself so why start now. and that just ramps up because she’s now a billionaire and is truly on a whole other planet than everyone else, like that study a previous anon brought up about once someone becomes a billionaire they loose empathy for others because they no longer relate to the masses, they are so disconnected from reality.

it sucks that this happened to someone so many people admire and use as a comfort zone but at the very least so many people are feeling the same way.

#anonymous #answered

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anonymousfoz · 1 year ago

Text

The Earth, Stars and Moon (Part 5)

Part 4 | Part 6

Taglist: @quinnharperwrites, @holdmyteaplease, @yesireadbooks, @teacupsandstarlight, @vite-poh, @theoracleofgiana, @writeblr-of-my-own

Father Sun had trotted his way over to his lovely wife. This was the woman who treated Sapphire like a toy for her own gain and would murder his daughter if she found out she was still alive. Mother Moon was all business, no matter the cost; it made Father Sun sick. She wasn’t the same woman he fell in love with all those eons ago. The days of chasing each other through the sky and sleeping among the stars were replaced filled with battle plans and fighting.

“Moonpie! I’m here.”

“You are late. Talking with Sapphire again?” Her tone was harsh, like wild cries of the crows at dawn.

“Of course.” He lied. He had talked with Sapphire several of times, but it wasn’t tonight. It didn’t matter as he had gotten better at lying to Mother Moon; after all, his daughter’s life depended on it. For Neptune‘s safety, he lied and became very good at it. He learned a few things on deception from Sapphire. Why not put them to good use? “I do have a recruit with James and Adelita. I think we could use a fourth.”

“You mean a third, since Vixen isn’t traveling with them.” Father Sun already knew this, but he knew she had done something sinister to Sapphire. Brother Bear had tried to tell him about it, but he knew it was terrible due to the tone in James' voice.

“I mean fourth, unless... you did something to Sapphire.”

“I would never do anything to one of your children.” She lied, and he knew it. “I just have her to stealth missions.” Mother Moon looked up at the sky, making sure the moon was moving perfectly, despite it didn’t matter since most humans didn’t even care.

“Can I leave, sweetheart? Am I done here?” Mother Moon looked over at her husband, and a smug grin took over her face.

“Yes, just make sure you raise the sun a bit slower than what you are used to. And don’t make it so bright.” Father Sun nodded his head and left with anger boiling in his stomach. The golden deer pranced away and fast as anger was rapidly taking over. After all, she did this on purpose to piss him off whenever he annoyed her. When he was out of sight of his wife, the buck stopped to kick the air before trotting back to Brother Bear.

———

“James? James?”

“I’m awake.” Brother Bear got up out of the ground. His hair had made him blend in as it was starting to turn into fur; he hadn’t had a chance to shave it. “I am guessing you are going to tell me about your daughter?”

“How did you know?”

“You two were beside Tatanka. You know she listens in to every conversation.” Father Sun let out an exhale of frustration. “She’s my little gossip girl. You know how she gets.”

“I do. I was too busy making Neptune feel better that I wasn’t looking out for Tatanka. Speaking of Neptune, I assume you have questions.” Brother Bear nodded his head and sat down by the buck while he grabbed his razor out of his pocket. He wouldn’t get a chance to shave later. “So, you remember the mushroom story?”

“When you ate the wrong shroom in Mexico and got wasted.”

“Yes. It isn’t as simple as that. Some woman was stalking me the entire time I was down there. She was the one who gave me the mushrooms, and she did something to me while I was wasted.”

“So you had-”

“No. She used magic. Your mother isn’t that much of a sex loving person as she was.” Brother Bear went quiet, and it took a while for Father Sun to figure why. “I should have started with that. But yes, it was your mother. Nasty woman, not as bad as Moonie but somewhere up there. That makes Neptune your step-sister.” Brother Bear had gone quiet. His world had just crumbled with a few sentences. Father Sun took it as a sign to stop talking and helped Brother Bear shave the fur off him until he was back to his normal self, minus the rowdy hair.

“Did she ever want to see me?”

“She talked about how much she missed you. But if she stayed, you would have been in even more danger, and with a woman who would treat you worse than Moonie treats you. She cared for you, but she cares about herself even more. It’s why I try to be here for you as much as I can, James.”

“You knew all this, but you never told me?”

“I never knew when you turned 18. Along the way I forgot, but I did remember to name you after your father… which she was responsible for his hanging.” Brother Bear felt slightly better about not having his mother in his life, but it was still shattering hear all this information. “You look a lot like your father. I met him once. Nice man, fed me a sandwich once. You would have made him proud, James. You make me proud all the time.” Father Sun quickly stopped when he heard the soft cries of the grisly man. He quickly panicked, thinking he did something wrong. This parental panic stopped once Brother Bear had picked him up. “It’s okay, James. I’m here for you!”

“Hearing you be proud of me means more than any information about my mother.”

“Oh. I thought you always knew.” Father Sun let out a chuckle as he turned into his human form and hugged the large man. “I should say it more often.” The night ended on better terms than it had started, and it made Father Sun feel amazing that Brother Bear had always looked up to him as a father figure. Between having a terrible wife and making sure Neptune was safe from his wife, the small moments like this made his week. The rest of the night was spent by taking Brother Bear fishing in the lake, because if anything, Father Sun just needed something to do. They fished until Father Sun had to go do his job of raising the sun.

#the earth stars and moon #writeblr #writing #my writing #fantasy #fiction

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manicpixiedgoblin · 2 years ago

Text

Nervous Young Inhumans

Masterpost

Chapter Twenty-Four.

If the accident hadn’t happened she wouldn’t have slept with Jess again - actually, she’d have slept with Saul that night, and continued refusing to acknowledge that her alleged friendship with Jess was just a thinly veiled cover for the fact she couldn’t picture life without him.

Though, admittedly, she couldn’t picture it with him either now.

Ellie had fallen asleep without taking any more pills, naked and content in Jesse’s arms. She woke up with the feeling she always had after things like this - the word shit and some vague satisfaction which remained despite the knowledge it was a bad idea.

She walked downstairs after quietly disentangling herself from Jesse’s arms - looked around for a coffee maker, but found only beer and lukewarm water. She drank the latter, disappointed. So coffee maker should be number one on her shopping list for him.

Why had she come over? He’d picked her up, right. The thing about benzos is memory turns to shit and is recalled like a dream had a few nights ago, in very dim light. She leaned against the counter as she drank and tried to remember everything, still only in her underwear and tank top. What had happened after they drove here? Had they planned to sleep together?

No, no - Walter had been here, right?

She was piecing this new element in with everything else when Jesse appeared at the door, something like relief flooding his features when he saw she was there.

“I thought you’d left,” his lips curled slightly upwards.

“No,” she smiled, “I, uh, you don’t have coffee.”

“No,” he smiled, walking up to her in his grey sweatpants, shirtless. “We can go to the Dunkin Donuts drive through, if you want.”

“Sure, yeah.”

“Or we could go to Waffle House?”

“Yeah, breakfast,” she looked at the gash on his head, back down at his eyes. “Let’s do that.”

Maybe over pancakes she could actually figure out the full picture of what had happened last night.

“I’ll get the keys and your pants,” he smiled, leaning forward and planting a kiss on her cheek. He walked out of the kitchen, actually half ran, and she stared behind him, her face shared between a smile and a concerned furrowed brow.

***

Over breakfast they were oddly quiet. Ellie’s eyes looked more aware than they had in days.

“So, uh,” Jesse said, “does anything hurt? Was I, um. I don’t know, I forgot-”

“It’s fine,” Ellie smiled a little tightly.

“Yeah, yeah. Good.”

They ate for a few seconds in silence.

“So I’m going to Mexico tomorrow,” he said after a while.

She tilted her head. She vaguely remembered the word Mexico, but the context was gone.

“Why?”

“What do you remember from last night?”

“Does Walter want you to kill someone else?”

“Uhh,” he gave a breathy laugh, “uh. That’s not why I’m going, it’s just - I’m teaching the cartel how to cook Mr. White’s recipe. For Fring.”

“Right.”

“To stop them from starting a fucking war.”

“Yeah. But you’ll be fine?”

“Mike’s coming with us.”

“How’s that reassuring?”

“It just is,” he shook his head.

They pushed their food around, had another awkward silence.

“I really am doing better, y’know,” Jesse looked up at her.

She looked into his eyes. She nodded.

“I know.”

“I, uh.. I was worried about you.”

“I know. I’m fine.”

“None of this should be your problem-”

“It is. I got involved. Regardless of you.”

“Well, no, if it weren’t for me-”

“Maybe then. But not now.”

“What does that mean?”

“It just is my problem now.”

There was another silence, which Ellie broke this time.

“Do you remember when we went to the aquarium on acid? In Santa Fe?”

“Course,” he half smiled.

“I hadn’t been back since the funeral, and I didn’t even think about it. We sat on the floor in front of the tank with the jellyfish, and I forgot my body and my past, and I remember thinking we were both leaving our selves and joining those bodies without organs, feeling the soft underwater movements and - what I’m trying to say is, all the things we think are relevant now, and all these times we’ve hurt, we forget them. We think we won’t every time, and then we do. Maybe it would mean more if we couldn’t get over it, but we always can,” she put her fork down and sat back, full, “which is to say, you’ll go to Mexico, and I’ll go back to work, and things probably won’t be fine. But we will be. We’ll be fine.”

***

She didn’t go back to work that day, and Jesse left.

But she cleaned her apartment up, put all the pills in a wicker basket under her sink and showered for the first time in days. She put on actual clothes instead of sweatpants or staying in her underwear, swept and mopped and cleaned the windows and put the ashtray outside.

Her phone had stayed in her apartment, charging the whole time. She texted Marie, Diane, Skylar and the hospital staff people back. She let her boss know she was doing better, could probably come back in a few days now.

She saw the texts from Saul.

“Can I come over?”

“I want to see you.”

“Are you alright?”

Three missed calls around eight. A couple more around ten, and five at eleven thirty.

She called him but he didn’t pick up.

While she was cleaning the rest of the place, he called her back.

“I’m on my way, I was with a client,” he said as soon as she picked up.

“On your way where? What?”

“Your place. We need to talk.”

She was confused. And a little guilty, honestly.

“About what?”

“About you disappearing last night after a week of xanax-induced dissociation!”

“I was sleeping, Saul.”

On his side of the line, driving his car, his face fell slack. He could tell by now she was putting distance between them when she called him Saul. Either that, or she was acknowledging he’d done something morally ambiguous enough to call him that.

“Well, okay. I’ll be there in ten,” he hung up.

He rang in nine. He was wearing a beige suit, a bright pink shirt and purple tie. His hair looked nice.

“Hi,” she opened.

“Hi,” he tried to kiss her but she pulled back.

“I need to tell you something,” she instantly blurted out.

He leaned his body backwards. After a moment, he sighed and walked in, shutting the door behind him and standing there.

“Is this about Pinkman?”

She nodded, making him look at the ground with a sigh.

“Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why would you go back to that? Were-were you drunk? I dropped him off at his girlfriend’s house what, two days ago? And now he’s all-”

“I wasn’t sober, but that doesn’t matter. It happened.”

He stared at her.

“Is it going to happen again?”

“Does it matter?”

“Yes it fucking matters,” he grabbed her arms, which were crossed beneath her chest. Her eyes watered a little but she didn’t know why.

“What difference does it make? I slept with him, if-if he found out about this after that-”

“So him finding out is the problem? Doesn’t that make you think? I’m the one you’re being honest with! Me! That says something!”

“It says you can fucking take it!”

“You not having to take care of me isn’t the only reason why!”

“You’re right, it’s not, but what can I do now?”

“What the fuck does that even mean?” he raised his hands and looked around, “what, you’re too guilty to stay away from him?”

“That’s not what happened, but-”

“I love you.”

She dropped her arms at her sides, her blood rushed to her face, she felt her stomach drop. She stared at him.

“I do,” he took a step towards her. “I love you, and it’s something I always say too late, but not this time. It’s not too late this time.”

She stared as he grabbed her arms.

“Maybe it is,” she whispered.

“I love you,” he repeated.

She swallowed. “I-“

“I love you.”

“Jimmy,” she shook her head.

“I love you, and I don’t want to give this up.”

“It won’t work.”

“Why not?”

“Because I love him too.”

“So what?”

“So what. You love him, but you also love me, so what.”

She stayed quiet. She thought about him in Mexico now, about how he’d come back and nothing would change. They wouldn’t be together, not properly, while everything in their lives remained the way it was. But she couldn’t be with either of them and live with herself. She couldn’t be with either of them, in both cases, because of what would happen with Jesse.

“Ellie?” he stared at her.

“I can’t. Not now.”

He sighed.

“I’ll call you,” he turned around opening the door. He grabbed from the hallway a flower bouquet. “I, uh, I bought these.”

He put them inside and with a weak smile closed the door behind him, leaving her staring at the flowers with her arms crossed, alone.

***

It’s fucked up to think they’d have still been together if it wasn’t for Jesse in more ways than one. The accident had happened because of him, as Jimmy was driving to her house. Her sleeping with him was the last element, but things had always been contingent to whatever he needed.

They’d met because of him, right?

Jimmy was thinking of all of this as he drove back to his office that day.

While Ellie was putting her apartment together, thinking of whether she should go back to work the next day or if she should let herself wallow and make some art.

What would she even make now?

***

By the time Jesse got back, she was working again.

He stopped by the hospital in his grey shirt and beat up face, looking for her in the waiting room next to the ER.

She met him there after Hugh let her know.

“Hey,” she said.

“Hi.”

“How’d your work trip go?”

“Uh, it went well, yeah,” he looked around. “Listen, I uh. I just wanted to let you know, y’know, I, uh. I’m seeing Andrea and Brock tonight.”

“Who?”

He didn’t answer but it only took her two seconds to recall who that was.

“Oh. Right.”

“I mean, she - you know the story, and her kid-”

“You don’t have to explain yourself to me,” her face became closed off, but she smiled, “anyways, is that why you came by? I’m not on break.”

“Ellie, I,” he broke himself off with a sigh.

“Totally fine, Jess. I get it.”

“Do you?”

“Yeah. We’re friends. We’re fine. It’s always how this goes, right?” she said the last part like a fuck you.

“El, no, that’s not-”

“Don’t fucking pull this shit again. Let’s just - we’re friends. It’s fine. It’s fucking fine.”

She turned around and walked away clenching her jaw. Fucking stupid asshole fucker. And here she was, putting him first every fucking time. While he pity fucked someone or got high with Jane and chose her only when there was no one else.

And she kept putting up not only with that, but with all he came with, all the shit they didn’t see, his fucking work, his fucking friends and - fuck no.

She knew Jimmy wouldn’t be any different - his job was just as messy, his life was just as chaotic. This wasn’t her realizing one of them was the healthy choice. This was her realizing she was apparently inherently attracted to men who were predetermined to make her life a mess.

Which was more about her than them she guessed.

***

The next day when Saul called her she replied with an “I’m taking a break from dating. I’m focusing on my work and also fuck the meth business,” to which he shushed and spoked over her so as not to compromise the line, “and fuck whatever you guys have going on. I need a normal life.”

It didn’t last. But for a few days, things were actually not an absolute mess in her life.

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amberjane9 · 1 year ago

Text

The album art from Maggie's shop

Presented entirely without comment. Do with these what you will.

Oslo Revival

Come On Over to Our Third Floor Apartment

We’re Having a Party

Just For You

Four In A Bed

Have This Drink

It Doesn’t Taste Weird

We’ll Take Care Of You

We Love You

You’re One Of Us Now

Together Forever

Disguises

Carol and her hat

The bicycle

Memories of a windchime

Lunch

Who am i today

Make me cry

Peggy asked for her jumper back

It’s raining in my kitchen

You cast a spell on my wife

Running into danger

Transcending the patriarchy

Plumbing

A dozen eggs (too many)

Someone New in the Bedroom

Better Together

No track listings

Kubasulu

Great White Lies

Fishy Business

Fluent in Shark-asm

Vanish into Fin-air

Gettin’ Chummy

You’re Gill-ty

No-fin Left to Lose

I Chews You

Sweating in the City

No track listing

Rat Kieth

Look at This Mountain

The Mountain I climbed

Assorted Wailing Cries of Peril

I Ate Some Berries (Shouldn’t Have Done That)

What Happens on the Mountain Stays on the Mountain

I See It in My Dreams

Soiled Leaves and Soft Bark

Don’t Touch the Mushrooms

Huddle for Warmth

My Map Blew Away

This Is My Home Now

Finally Rescued

A Dog in God’s Hot Car

Chem Trails

Raga Kobot

Earth, Swallow Me Whole

Why Can’t I Just Stay In Bed?

Sighing Loudly

No One’s Going to Lunch

I’m Hungry But I Don’t WAnt to Eat Alone

I Wonder What’s On the Menu Today

Probably Something Mediocre

I’m Tired

It’s Friday

I Wish It Would End

Just Sounds 2.0

Falling Coin

Stubbed Toe

Oops!

Rice in a Bowl

Spoon Clang

Gagging

Crinkled Paper

Bad Alphabet

Winded

Deaf Dust

Change the Lightbulb

Cartwheels in Mexico

This cinnamon candle

Hold me

Let go

Who wait’s for us?

Awesome

The basement’s pretty dark

Broken Bulb

Stairway to your Mum’s house.

Snapshots From the Moon

Randa Ransom

Doin’ It in the Dust

Hard on the Rocks

Ridin’ The Horizon

Tall Drink of Water

Wear My Hat

Call My Name

Let Me Use A Saddle

Just Us in the Dust

I’m Lost and I Don’t Speak the Language

Lost in Tokyo

WHat’s that shop selling?

Sex Dolls (Self-Assembly)

Where’s the bathroom?

This Toilet is Singing

More Sex Dolls

There’s a Cafe for Cats

I Want to Go Home

What’s Home in Japanese?

Take Me Anywhere Taxi Man

The Answer May Surprise You

Georgina O’Georgia

Gorgeous in Georgia

Oh George, you’re gorgeous

It’s Georgia with a G!

Get your hands off my hair

Yes, that’s my real name

Spur Of The Moment

The Walking Shambles

Long Strides

Moira Walbrook

Getting Darker Seeing the Light, Vol. 4

Au Revoir Fingers

Red Eye Smiles

Stupid Teeth

Lateral Incisor

Rosanna Koson

Skinny Dipping

Sheila Sims

International Tour Live Recording, London 2015

Kobie Conroy

A Single Malt and a Good Woman

Alexandru Wainright

Flying Birds and Chem Trails

Izabelle McLaughlin

Singing in my Sleep

Allison Hut

Symphony No. 4 - Soprano, Recorded Performance with the Silver City Players

Milli LeBlanc

Set me on fire

Antoine Balynska

It’s Been a Long Night

I can’t wait to take my shoes off

Slip into the bath

Read a good book

Have a watery nap

Grab my jammies

Curl up in bed

Press my head into the pillow

Fall asleep forever

The Silver City Players

Climbing the mountain of God

My first-born is yours, O Lord

Prayers for supper

Fishing Rodney

Small Pond

CT Bazz

Locking up and looking down

No track listing

Dank Balaclava

No track listing

Moshe Redman

Up close and personal

Michelle Kolov

Layers

Hamid Moon

Sea Songs

One day I started floating

Got lost in the waves

Didn’t bring a paddle

Been here for three weeks

Can’t see land

There’s little hope left

Rehan Yu

Neon Dreams 2.0

Late night madness

Last orders

Stumbling

The night tube

Falling asleep

Waking up in Vauxhall

The night tube (remix)

Giving up at Wood Green

Walking alone

I dropped my phone

Shitty kebab

Restless sleep in a bush

#good omens #good omens season 2 #go #go2 #go2 spoilers #good omens 2 xray #good omens 2 bonus content #honestly i can't decide how i feel about these track listings #some are obviously just the designer being bored on a friday #but some of them feel like they might be Significant in some way #but i don't want to be the one to make that call #so presented without further comment from me #everyone knows that tags are for saying all the stuff you don't say in the post #we've all been to this rodeo before

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cherryjuixce · 2 years ago

Text

Memories.

Chapter 5

OC x Simon Ghost Riley

Warnings: swearing, guns.

“Que te tiene de mal humor mi amor?”

“I don’t want you to leave Felix, It’s not the same without you”

“I know but I will come back soon, I’m gonna miss you though”

“Me too, te extrañaré mucho”

“I love it when you speak Spanish” he smirked while putting his arms around my waist.

“Really?” I giggled at his sudden touch “I think it’s pretty bad”

“There is no other woman in the world that makes the language more loveable than you amor”

My smile grew wide, hugging him tightly and already feeling more sad about the fact that he will be leaving soon and I won’t see him for a long time. He did love me and care for me truly but I always wondered if he loved his job more.

“Felix?”

“Scarlett?”

“After your trip.. will you tell me what your work actually is?” I asked him hoping for a positive answer.

He broke the hug and looked down at me, a stern look on his face.

“You know that what I’m doing is all to protect you, one time you will know. But not this time. It’s too dangerous.”

“If my boyfriend is involved into something dangerous I have to know Felix”

Felix turned around and sighed grabbing the railing of the terrace we were on, a beautiful view of San Miguel de Allende, my favorite city in front of us that I wasn’t even looking at because I was only focused on what my boyfriend will say.

“We’ve talked about this Scarlett, I can’t keep fighting about the same things with you anymore”

“But we don’t have to fight, all I’m asking from you is that you tell me the truth” I said as calmly as possible, furrowing my eyebrows I stayed in the same place he left me his touch still lingering on my body.

“And all I’m asking from you is that you let me finish this job in peace, and then everything will be fine. We can go anywhere you want and do everything you want to do. I promise mi amor” He got his hands off the railing and know had my full attention.

“But those things don’t matter to me Felix, I just wanna be with you.” I felt the tears prickling my eyes “I want you to stay here, with me forever.” Watching his reaction closely, praying that he will consider my request.

“I can’t do that” he said looking down

“Of course you can’t” I hugged myself and turned my back from him.

“Maybe this was all a mistake” I couldn’t stop myself from saying that, the words spilling from my mouth and breaking both of our hearts.

“What are you saying Scarlett?” I heard Felix say from behind me his voice filled with confusion.

“I think we shouldn’t see each other anymore” The tears fell down on their own, I loved him so much that it physically hurt to say that. But I couldn’t live in a lie anymore.

“Be careful what you say to me Scarlett because it will have consequences.”

I turned around looking at him with furrowed eyebrows.

“Are you… threatening me Felix?”

“It’s not a threat mi amor, it’s a promise.”

---

I jolted awake from Soap’s shoulder, the faint sound of the airplane that we were in reminding me why I fell asleep in the first place.

“You good doc?” Soap asked next to me. It’s safe to say we had grown a little bit closer since that night on the rooftop. He checked on me regularly and always gave me company.

“I brought you food.”

“Put it on the desk Soap, thanks”

“No, I’m not leaving until you eat it” he said closing the door behind him and sitting on the armchair in front of me.

“Soap I’m gonna eat it”

“That’s great, go on then” he pushed the plate a little closer to me.

I sighed and moved my work essentials in the drawer, taking the plate in my hands I ate the burrito he gave me.

“Wait, this is so good” I said through bites

“Thank you, made it myself. I’m quite the cook ya’ know”

“I didn’t, now I’ll annoy you even more into making me lunch”

“Gladly.”

“Yeah I’m fine, just.. a bad dream” I sighed rubbing my eyes. The nightmares and memories have gotten worse since that meeting with Price.

“We’re going to Mexico.” Price said, my eyes widening a bit and the temperature in the room getting colder.

“And why do I have to partake in this trip?” I asked him, my heart beat going faster and my voice trying to sound as calm as possible.

“We’ll need you there Scarlett, the mission is about capturing an anonymous drug lord. General Shepherd gave us all the information we need to know. And we will be meeting with another special force there, Los Vaqueros.”

I crossed my hands biting the inside of my lip. And I couldn’t help but feel Ghost’s stare on me so I looked at him. We stared at each other like that for about 10 seconds before I turned my gaze back at Price. Already regretting to even coming to this meeting.

I was nervous. Really nervous. Because I wanted to believe he was dead. Gone. But now that belief was off. Nonetheless, the life in Mexico is the life that I abandoned long ago. The same time I abandoned him. So I wasn’t ready to come back.

“We’re here” Price said. The feeling of the airplane landing made me stand up and grab my stuff.

“Alejandro! Good to see you hermano.” Soap yelled while jogging a bit to the man that was coming up to us. He shaked Soap’s and Ghost’s hand while I stood behind Price.

“Alejandro, this is Scarlett Hart. She’s our private physician and our field medic. She’s gonna provide us with medical care while we’re on missions.”

Missions? What the hell? Price didn’t even say anything about me going to any of their missions.

“Nice to meet you Scarlett, my name is Alejandro and this is my second in command Sergeant Major Rodolfo Parra” He pointed to the person next to him.

“Hermosa..” Rudy muttered to himself.

“Vaya, gracias” I said while shaking their hands.

“You know Spanish?” Alejandro asked a bit surprised and Rudy clearly embarrassed.

“Si, it’s not that hard of a language” I said with a smile.

“Welcome to Las Almas” Alejandro said with a smirk turning around and everyone following his lead, I went back a bit so I could walk next to Price.

“I’m going on the mission?” I whispered yelled to him not paying attention on what the others talked about.

“I knew you would react like that” Price said with a sigh “I’ll explain when the time is right, but I think it’s very important that you be with us on this mission”

I stopped in my tracks to look at him “Price, what are you saying?”

“I think it may be involved with him.” I stared at him with wide eyes.

“Why. He’s dead Price.”

“We never found that body.”

“And you never found my son’s and yet you still declared him KIA.” I said a bit raising my voice.

Price stared at me with a normal face and pointed with his eyes to the right. I turned my head and saw all of the guys stop looking at us confused.

“Is everything alright?” Alejandro yelled at us, I turned and continued following them all wanting to forget the conversation I had with Price. Noticing the stare I had on me from Ghost.

Now this made me even more nervous than before.

---

The mission was supposed to be tomorrow. So I had a day to mentally prepare myself what I was about to be roped into. I didn’t even know If I could hold a gun anymore. It’s been so fucking long… So I thought what better way to relieve my stress then to use the shooting range they had here.

Dammit.

Cursing again and missing the target for the 10th time made me lower the gun in my hand.

“You’ve done this before.” A raspy voice was heard from behind me.

Alejandro.

“Something like that” I turned around and loaded the gun in my hands.

“You’re way off. Something is troubling you I can see it. Try to think of the target as someone you really wanna kill.” He came up next to me pointing at the target.

I looked at him then back at the target, thinking about what he said.

“You son of a bitch.”

I said with tears in my eyes, my hands shaky while I held the gun in front of him.

“You did this to yourself amor.” He said while holding my crying son closely to him.

“Give him back to me Felix, I swear I’ll do anything you want” I said desperately not taking my eyes off of him.

“Join me then. If you just agreed to it from the start we wouldn’t be in a situation like this.”

“He’s my son! I gave birth to him, I have the right to have him.” I yelled now clicking the safety lock on my gun.

“Oh you do mi amor. But not this way. You broke my heart and now I’m breaking yours it’s how the world works” He yelled back while slowly climbing up in the helicopter.

“NO!”

Bang.

Headshot.

I lowered the gun my eyes widening.

“There you go. I knew that would work. Keep it up like that. You ever held a rifle?”

“..I have.” I said sounding a bit unsure. I thought to myself how I shouldn’t really be talking about this. But something inside of me trusted Alejandro enough for me to talk about it.

He turned around and left the room only to come back a few minutes later with a rifle in his hands. The rifle looking oddly familiar.

“This is the Barrett M82, the most famous rifles out there.”

“Those are the ones used by snipers.”

“That’s right, how did you know that?”

He looked at me while handing me the rifle.

“Common knowledge.”

He hummed and stayed next to me.

“Try now”

I took the shot again immediately at the head. Surprising myself a bit how I still knew how to use a rifle but not a simple gun.

“That was better. I knew you were a sniper.”

“What?” I turned to him acting dumb as if I didn’t just hear what he said.

“You were once a sniper, was I wrong?”

“I shouldn’t be talking about that.” I said turning my gaze at the ground.

“Something holding you back?”

“The past.”

“I know that feeling. Trying to forget something so bad but the past always following you, reminding you of the things you’ve done or experienced. It was the worst.” He said as he looked ahead of him.

“Does it ever mentally hurt you..? Of all the things you’ve done, like killed people or witnessed someone you cared for being killed.” I asked him both of our voices getting quieter at the sudden change of topic.

“…Yes. It has.” Alejandro looked at me again, the kind of look I knew someone gave me when they were pitying me.

“Sorry I shouldn’t have asked that.” I said handing him the rifle back while leaving the room.

“It’s alright. Don’t be scared to open up to people. It’s what heals us after and makes you feel a little bit more better when you do it.” Alejandro called out not looking back at me.

“Thanks, Alejandro” I stopped at the doorway to look at him again. “Good night.”

I started walking back to the base the cool air hitting my face my mind going straight to my bed. I felt so scared here. Everyone around me was so nice and respectful but it’s just the fact that the sudden change of the place we were in made me a bit anxious. I wanted to go back, I really did. I didn’t even know how the place I was living in now made me feel so homesick.

“Am I right?” I heard that famous British gruff voice sound close to me. I peeked a bit seeing Price and Ghost in front of the entrance of the indoor sleeping quarters. Stopping in my tracks, I knew it was bad but I wanted to hear what they were talking about.

“I shouldn’t be the one telling you that Ghost.” Price said next to him puffing from the cigar he was smoking.

“But you know she wouldn’t tell me that either.”

“Why not, are you in a fight again?”

“Don’t change the subject.”

Price huffed and took another puff of his cigarette.

“Yes. You were right Ghost.”

Right about what? I peeked more now fully seeing Price and Ghost standing there smoking.

“Scarlett is a retired soldier.”

What.

#simon riley x oc #simon ghost riley #simon riley #simon ghost riley x oc #captain john price #john soap mactavish #alejandro vargas #rodolfo mw2 #cod mw2 fanfic #modern warfare 2 #call of duty #scarlett au

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cranetreegang · 2 years ago

Text

Get To Know the Blogger

I got tagged by @freesiriusblack and thought, why not?! And I was tagged by @rosabellatonks for another similar tag so I thought to combine them both!

Thanks again for the tag girlfriends <3

Share your wallpaper: I am... so boring. It's just the standard Windows background LOL

The last song you listened to: Symphocat - Domini Sacramentum

Favorite Five Songs: This was hard lol but:

Earth by Susumu Hirasawa (shoutout to my Berserk Enjoyers)

Vivaldi Four Seasons - Summer

Bad Girls by MIA

Day Stalker + Night Prowler by Carpenter Brut (this song goes hard dudes)

Miracle Aligner by The Last Shadow Puppets

Currently reading: Mists of Avalon by Marion Zimmer Bradley - for research/ideas. But for enjoyment, Mistborn by Brandon Sanderson

Last movie: Family Blood - I enjoy putting on really bad horror movies. It's something I very much love. And also I highly DON'T recommend this movie LOL

Last show: A Shot in the Dark on Netflix. Surprisingly good about the life of Stringers (if you've ever seen Nightcrawler - it's about that)

Craving: SHRIMP TACOS!! With cilantro rice and black beans. wrapped up in a corn tortilla. and a squeeze of LIME. UGHHHHHH

What are you wearing right now: My College Sweatshirt and black Nike shorts

How tall are you: 5’7” = 170 cm

Piercings: Just the one on each ear - but I hardly ever wear earrings or jewelry. It's amazing they haven't closed up honestly.

Tattoos: Just one on my collarbone, but I've been tempted to get more

Glasses? Contacts?: None! But, I do have glasses for when I stare at a computer screen all day... that I don't wear. hehe

Last drink: Cabernet Sauvignon aka red wine

Last thing you ate: Chicken and Sausage Jambalaya

Favorite color: BLUE i love BLUE!!! All shades all forms.

Current obsession: Ominis Gaunt (I am down so freaking bad guys like wow but look at him, how can you not be)

Any pets: Just one little jerk named Buddy. I love him. He's a Poodle Mix and we adopted him (for free) at the local pet shelter. That's right, they just willingly gave me a menace to society for free. They have no shame.

Favorite fictional character: I think it would have to be my first love - Carth Onasi from Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic. I was down ASTRONOMICALLY for him in my youth.

The last place you traveled to: Angel Fire, New Mexico - love it all year round and I can't wait to go back

Tagging: @scilla-aster @kn0xley @ladyskara

Sorry if you've already been tagged! <3

#know the blogger

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macamadamia · 1 year ago

Text

Crime & Punishment Chapter 1: The Crime

https://archiveofourown.org/works/46826485/chapters/117948307

Ship: Dom Castiel/Sub Dean Winchester

Rating: Mature

Total Word Count: 3,587

AO3 Tags: Collars, Dom/sub, Total Power Exchange, 24/7 Dom/sub, Punishment, Discipline, Caning

Dean knew he was in trouble when he opened the door and saw Cas in the small entrance way, arms folded, leaning against the door frame. He looked far from happy.

Cas may be his partner and husband, the man he stood beside in front of their families and friends and made vows with, but right then he was simmering with badly concealed irritation, and all Dean saw was the Dom who was not only angry with him, but disappointed.

That hurt.

He wasn’t even sure what he’d done wrong this time. He wracked his brains trying to figure it out. He hadn’t fucked up that much lately.

Staying in the garage office for an extra few hours to finish the paperwork Bobby didn’t get around to doing wasn’t enough to incite this reaction. Sure, he was late, but he’d texted to tell Cas he wasn’t going to be home in time for dinner, and he’d grab a snack at work. Bobby’s wife Ellen always kept the office fridge stocked with snacks for the times they worked late. There were times when he first started working for the old man that those meals were the only decent food he ate for days.

But he’d definitely texted him. This time. He resisted the urge to reach for his phone to double-check, he doubted Cas would appreciate it.

Cas doesn’t have many rules, but “if I’m talking to you, I will have your full attention” is near the top of the list. Right above “text me if you’ll be late” and right below “no shoes on the coffee table” (and didn’t he remember the bruises he carried the first time he forgot that particular rule.)

Although he didn’t know exactly why he was in trouble, Dean had known something was up the moment he stepped up to the small porch at the front of their single-storey home and seen what was waiting for him.

On the small table next to the front door, sitting innocuously next to the potted money tree plant, Dean’s eyes had zeroed in on his collar and leash.

It wasn’t the nice collar, either. It wasn’t the soft, supple brown leather collar he always wore when he wasn’t at work (because who the fuck wanted to have that conversation with their boss). This was the heavy leather collar, the black one that pressed a little too hard into his jaw when he turned his head. The one that was rough on the inside, and irritated his skin.

He knew he was in trouble right at that moment, and he briefly contemplated getting in the car and driving back to work. Maybe hiding under his desk. Or changing his name and crossing the border into Mexico.

But he didn’t. Instead, with a sigh he’d picked up the collar and leash, and opened the front door to find Cas. In the face of his righteous fury, he’d dropped to his knees in the doorway. Never minding the open front door or the tile underneath him.

“Hello, Dean.”

“Heya Cas, how’s it hanging?”

Cas tilted his head to the side, narrowing his eyes.

Quickly regretting his little show of bravado, Dean made eye contact with Cas’ sock-clad feet and tried not to fidget.

“You know, I don’t have many rules.”

He risked a glance at Cas’ face to assess just how mad he was. When their eyes met, his Dom raised an eyebrow, and Dean quickly returned his focus to his socks. They were bee themed, today, with the text “bee-lieve in honey” in yellow and black. Dean had teased him about them this morning.

Now he stared at them like his salvation lay in cute cartoon insects and bubbly bee puns.

“What rule did you break, Dean?” Cas shifted, his feet crossing at the ankles, while Dean’s bad knee started to protest at holding this position.

“I don’t know, Sir.”

“Try again.”

Dean was silent, his mind working overtime trying to think of an answer that would please Cas and maybe (although he wasn’t very hopeful) mitigate the punishment that was coming his way.

Above him, Cas sighed.

Staring at the bee socks, something in Dean’s head clicked. Oh shit.

“I wasn’t home for the grocery delivery.”

“Right. So why am I going to punish you, Dean?”

Because you’re a controlling asshole. He swallowed the words down. Now was not the time to snark at Cas, now was the time to answer his Dom. Who was currently watching him, eyebrow raised, head titled, like he knew exactly what Dean was thinking.

“Dean. Why are you going to be punished for not being home for the grocery delivery?”

Dean risked another glance upwards.

Cas wasn’t just mad, he was stressed out. Then Dean remembered the conversation they’d had that morning while he was getting ready for work. When Cas had mentioned he was going to be late home from work that afternoon, and Dean needed to be home for the delivery.

Because Cas’ brother Michael (Michael the Maniac, Dean’s mind unhelpfully supplied) and his family was coming for dinner.

Oh shit. The conversation played out in Dean’s head – the groceries, Michael’s visit, and the plan for Dean to cook dinner.

Dean deflated. He’d fucked up.

“I’m sorry sir.” His voice, contrite, sounded small in the face of just how much he’d screwed up.

Cas finally, finally, straightened up and stepped forward. He put his hand on Dean’s face, and Dean nuzzled into it, closing his eyes as he felt tears gathering. The hand left his face and began carding gently through his hair. Dean felt Cas pick up the collar and leash from his hands.

He tilted his head back, eyes shut tight against Cas’ disappointment and disapproval, and swallowed as the collar was buckled in place around his throat. He felt a gentle pull at the collar and heard the click as the leash was attached.

The fingers in his hair tightened, and he opened his eyes and whimpered as Cas titled his head back until he was face to face with Dean, the leash held taut in his hand.

“You’re not sorry, Dean.

He leaned in. Dean could feel his breath on his face.

“Not yet.”

#supernatural #ao3 author #fanfic #destiel #macamadamia's fanfics

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sailorgreywolf-legacy · 1 year ago

Note

Ale healing from the back wound Alfie left

Mexico woke up in pain, horrific pain. His back felt like it was on fire, and he could hardly move. He kept his eyes closed and hoped to fall back to sleep. Unconsciousness was his only respite from the pain, and he would rather not be awake.

His stomach growled, telling him why he was awake. He groaned and opened his eyes. He was almost alone in a dimly lit room, except for the young soldier who was tasked with watching him.

The young man was half-asleep and not paying attention. Mexico cleared his throat loudly to get his attention. The soldier jerked awake and looked around. He met Mexico’s gaze and said, without Mexico prompting him, “Oh right, food.”

He scrambled to get up and leave the room. Mexico sighed as he was left alone again. He knew the guards had been Santa Anna’s idea to make him feel safe and to make sure that he was not left wanting. Mexico was well aware that every time he got out of the bed it ripped open his back wound. He had bled out and woken up in bed enough times to know it was a bad idea. But he felt like an invalid.

He gingerly sat up and tried to prop himself against the pillows. It had been months since he was wounded, months he had spent as a prisoner. He was used to being healed from anything no matter how grievous, but it seemed that having territory ripped from him had stalled the process entirely.

He thought to himself: Even if I was human, I would have healed by now. The agonizing pain in his back told him that it wasn’t healing, and that he had no way of knowing how long it would take.

The door opened and the soldier reappeared with food in hand. Mexico was more interested in the figure leaning heavily on a cane behind him. He looked so unsteady on his feet since the Americans had taken the prosthetic leg that fit. Yet, Mexico was still glad to have someone familiar there.

Santa Anna sat down in the closest chair, and then seemed to wait for the soldier to leave. Mexico started picking at the food as soon as it was placed in front of him. He said, “How much longer are you going to stay, Antonio? I thought you said you were leaving.”

Mexico wasn’t sure how he felt about the concept, but Santa Anna had promised that he was ending the war by leaving.

Santa Anna looked at him with something like concern and said, “Do you know how long you’ve been asleep?”

Mexico shook his head. To him it felt like it had been unending time in the half-lit bedroom.

His stomach growled gladly as he started to eat. Answering the question, he said, “I have no idea. How should I know? I’ve been asleep.” Santa Anna sighed and replied, “It’s been days. We were worried that you'd stopped breathing.”

Mexico simply responded by saying, “Huh, it hasn’t felt like it.”

To himself he added that if he was going to sleep so long, it should have actually healed him.

There was a pained crease appearing between Santa Anna’s eyebrows as he tried to find words. He opened his mouth and then reconsidered. Mexico ate quietly while he waited for Santa Anna to speak. Eventually the man settled on, “I intended to leave immediately. I cannot in good conscience leave you alone when you are still healing. Not when I can't be sure that you'll be taken care of.”

Mexico felt a twinge of guilt followed by a stronger twinge at the absurdity of feeling guilty. If he could have made himself heal, he would have done it already. He didn’t want to say it out loud, but he appreciated that Santa Anna was concerned.

He said between bites, “You don’t have to stay. I am sure other people will make sure I don’t die.”

Santa Anna took another deep sigh and ran his hand over his forehead. He said, “I don’t believe that. I don’t know what will happen to you if I leave.”

Mexico sighed, “Why is it that you think you are the only one who can save me?”

The man looked remarkably old in the low light, and he looked pained by what he was about to say. The answer sounded strained as he said, “I don’t trust-“ He stopped himself before he could say more and added, “I will leave when you can get out of bed.”

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0dotexe · 2 years ago

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I've had four root canals done in a period of two weeks - this is not an exaggeration

How did I get here? Well… The starting point of this story is a bit hazy. I only have a handful of tooth related incidents that happened in the US that have been remedied or are going to be remedied in Mexico. I wanted to reflect on this this week.

Come join me as I talk about the fractured system of dental healthcare in the US and how Mexico is saving my mouth from disaster.

My dental health has always been between sub-par to terrible.

No matter what I did - or didn't do - my teeth would literally fall apart at the seams no matter what. I lost a lot of my baby teeth very early on (all of them having some cavity of varying intensity) and a lot of my adult teeth didn't really properly develop (there are some where the roots do not show up in x-rays) I also have had a ridiculous sugar addiction from the age of 6 to now (which I am desperately trying to break with varying success)

Unfortunately for me, I also grew up poor. I had to rely on a system that was severely underfunded (LaCHIP for those interested, it was terrible.) There's a really great video that I highly recommend watching to understand how these programs work, because I do not have the time or language to explain it better than how she does. I will admit, this video made me cry from how similar my experiences were in relation to the Medicare portion of this video.

Think of a procedure, and I've probably had it done. I've had numerous root canals (even before now), extractions, I have a bridge, I have metal fillings, I have these weird metal teeth protectors, some veneers somehow. Needless to say, my mouth is a mess, and it continues to be a mess. My dentist is trying everything in her power to not resort to dentures because of my age and also because of my autoimmune disorders (which, funnily enough, are becoming less and less disabling since I've been getting work done)

However, for perspective, a lot of dental work that was done on me was done with really low quality materials and undertrained staff. Especially during a time where things like depression and autism weren't as understood in their ability to severely impact how ones dental health can become without the proper precautions and alternatives.

You see, for 20 years, I didn't brush my teeth. This is also not an exaggeration. This happened partially because every time I tried to it hurt like hell because of sensory issues, but also because no one really taught me how to without being condescending about it in the first place. Don't worry, I'm brushing them almost daily now!

Now, I want to share with you a handful of stories.

For a good portion of my dentist appointments in the US, I was rebuked for my poor dental health. One time I told them I didn't know how to brush my teeth, and they just laughed in my face about it. From that point on I lied about brushing my teeth. At one point I was even asked if I was doing crack cocaine because of how bad my teeth were, and one of my teeth got so bad it turned completely black and stayed that way for 5-6 years. One of my front teeth got "fixed" four times before it completely broke and had to get a bridge over it. A metal filling I have has caused one of my molars to start to dissolve, probably because they used mercury. But out of all of these, the most offensive of my tooth stories has to be my broken molar.

During the middle of 2021, I had a molar that broke. It exposed the nerve and everything, and the tooth was disappearing at an alarming rate. I looked for a local place in town that could do emergency dental work without insurance, but was put on a two week waiting list because COVID restrictions were only just slowly being lifted. "Fine," I thought, "Not the worst."

It got worse. About a week in, the tooth basically lost 90% of its mass, leaving the exposed nerve even more exposed. I ate something, and bam, the nerve had gotten pinched. It was honestly one of the worst pains I've ever been in. It radiated from my jaw to my ear, making me lose hearing for a bit. Any time ANYTHING touched that area, I would go into an uncontrolable shaking fit and had to alternate between ice packs, heating pads, and waaaaay too much pain meds. I would never wish this pain on anyone.

Finally, the appointment day arrives. I'm excited to finally get this taken care of before I'm set to fly out and get married. People file in and out of the place, as expected. When my turn arrives, I'm given the standard x-rays, then looked at by some nice dental assistants who look at my gums and plaque (and cavities too)

Then, the dentist arrives. I've shown everyone else my vaccination card to ensure that I am safe to work on. The dentist says, "I'm not afraid of some virus," while looking at my chart. 'Okay…' I think to myself, already realizing what kind of dentist this is, as I've seen types like him many times before.

As I tell him that I have a severe issue that literally needs to be taken care of right now, he gives it a glance, says, "That's pretty bad, but it looks infected so we'll have to put you on antibiotics before we can do anything about it." And then leaves before I have a chance to protest.

At this point, I am fuming. I came here for an EMERGANCY, my root is EXPOSED, my ear fucking HURTS. And this joke of a dentist says "We'll get to it when we get to it." No.. No fucking way. As I wait to be called to another room so they can set up another appointment (one I was hoping was sooner rather than later) I tell my now husband about the ordeal.

Because this was the free appointment, I didn't have to pay anything, but they did show me the amount it WOULD have been. Let me tell you, it made me even more frustrated. It would have been approxamately $200 for that appointment, and the appointment after that would have been anywhere from $1500-2000 just for the root canal of the problematic tooth. And the date they wanted to set it for? The day after I flew out to Mexico.

I, being raised to not make a stink to people just doing their job, declined their invitation to come back. Giving them my valid reasoning of literally being out of the country during that time. They gave me my x-ray and I left, absolutely chuffed.

That very tooth that I'm talking about? Just got a root canal done on it yesterday, in January 2023. For a fraction of the price it would have ever been in the US if I had decided to trust that slimy dentist. I am aware that not all dentists are like this, but almost every single one I ran into in the US mirrored this dentist in some way or another. Prescribing an unnecessary amount of medication, overcharging for basic procedures or even just being looked at, having a condescending tone about them.

It's no wonder I have had shit teeth for so long.

At one point, I was even begging to get dentures because I could barely eat or drink anything without a substantial amount of pain. I have an unusually high pain tolerance too, so if it was bad enough to send my pain receptors into overdrive, who knows how long or how much it would have cost to be able to do half of what my dentist here in Mexico has done.

I am honestly forever grateful for her. She has been taking her time with my teeth to make sure nothing shifts my mouth too much, she has been extremely understanding of my situation, and has even felt shock at the stories I have told her about my teeth and the dentists I had to deal with in the US. She has literally inspired me to try my best to keep whatever bone I have left in this poor excuse of a mouth. I can deal with the pain of a handful (we're up to 6 now) of root canals and future extractions (which is expected to be 2 or 3, depending)

Medical tourism in Mexico is a huge thing, especially for dental work, and it's no wonder. If you are a dentist or wanting to be a dentist in the US, I beg you to be kind to your patients. Especially the poor, disabled, or underprivileged ones. It makes all the difference between if your patient has perfect teeth for decades or has next to nothing left after a quarter of their life.

If you're like me and struggle to keep up with your dental health because of sensory issues or depression, here's a fantastic video about alternatives.

That's my piece. Feel free to respond with your own experiences.

⬖.Exe

#dentist #dentistry #dental work #us healthcare #vs #mexican healthcare #root canal #root canals #exe talkz #so basically dentistry in the us #I have a lot of - negative - thoughts and experiences with it #surprisingly I'm not afraid of going to the dentist - just frustrated at how dentists have treated me and other poor people #I also really hate that dental insurance in the US is basically a scam #most dental procedures that fix cavities are considered ~cosmetic~ and are not covered #DESPITE THE FACT THAT CAVITIES CAN SEVERELY IMPACT YOUR OVERALL HEALTH?????#Literally I watch someone on youtube who has an autoimmune disorder and he said that getting some cavities fixed helped flare ups go down #I could go on about this for eons and I need to stop #mucho texto

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racingliners · 5 months ago

Text

Life In the Fast Lane Chapter 23 - Champagne Problems

Rating: Teen & Up

Warnings: None apply

Pairings: Original Female Character(s)/Original Male Character(s); OFCs & OMCs

Work Tags: Re-write of a previous work; not beta read; dual/multiple pov; mentions of IRL current and past F1 figures; Eventual romance; friends to lovers; found family/work family; actual family; occasional swearing; racing drivers and their various shenanigans; how to handle pressure (and how not to); with a sprinkling of the power of friendship; tags will be updated as work progresses

Chapter 23/58 Word count: 6.1k Summary: Secrets prove hard to keep

Monday 23rd October – Austin, Texas

Nico knew the hand that clapped his shoulder belonged to Sophie from the weight of it before he slowly turned his head round to look at her.

“So how was the after party?” She asked with a wicked smile and a glint in her eyes – clearly seeing that Nico looked as bad as he felt, if not worse.

“Ack, you are too loud!” He winced, and picked up a second sachet of brown sugar for his coffee.

Truthfully, Nico wasn’t obliged to go to the Red Bull afterparty last night. But with him joining the team next year he thought it might have been a good idea to get to know his future mechanics and engineers. All he could remember was pounding music and flashing lights, and the most he’d done in terms of bonding was doing vodka shots with Alistair and his number one mechanic, which was the root cause of how Nico’s head felt like he was pulling 6Gs every time he moved.

“It went well then?” Sophie asked, laughing to herself as she sat down at Nico’s table in the hotel restaurant. Their parents had flown back to the UK and France yesterday, so they could have sat separately to have breakfast but that was never going to happen. As loud as Nico’s hangover made his best friend sound, he would always adore her company.

Nico delicately sipped at his espresso in between large bites of his toast, and ever so slightly started to feel like a human being again with every deep inhale of his coffee. Neither he or Sophie said much while they ate, mainly going over flight times and whether or not they wanted to share a taxi to the airport.

“James and me are filming a thing with a chef tomorrow which should be fun,” Sophie’s voice trailed off as something caught her eye over Nico’s shoulder. “Morning Ben!” She said brightly, noticeably fighting back a smile as the newly crowned quadruple champion approached their table.

“Good morning.” Nico looked up at his future teammate and wasn’t surprised to see that yesterday’s beaming grin still hadn’t left his face. “Hey uh, what time is your flight?” Benedikt asked them both, clearly remembering when Nico told him yesterday that he and Sophie were on the same flight to Mexico City.

“Ten to eight tonight.” Sophie replied, her brain working faster than Nico’s since McLaren weren’t the kind of team to throw a party over 7th and 10th place.

“Ah,” Ben looked disappointed. “Mine’s at half past four.” He paused again briefly. “I guess I’ll see you both at the hotel then.” Benedikt wished them both a safe flight and said goodbye – and most curiously briefly placed a hand on Sophie’s shoulder as he walked away.

Sophie dipped her head down pretending to be deeply engrossed in her porridge, but Nico still saw the flush of bright pink in her cheeks.

He knew it was better to wait until they were back at Sophie’s room to ask about it, and thankfully the hallway was completely empty when they reached her door.

“Sophie…” Nico said slowly, and with the tone he rarely used with her implying that what he was about to ask was serious. Sophie’s face fell and she let out a small sigh as she opened her door and gestured for Nico to follow her in before he had the chance to say anything else. She ran a hand through her hair and darted her eyes around the room before finally settling on him after she quietly closed the door.

“I swear I was going to tell you.” She blurted out, knotting her fingers together.

“Tell me what?” Nico looked at his friend with a furrowed brow. Despite the coffee and breakfast making him feel closer to his usual self his brain still needed time to catch up with the rest of his body. Whenever he’d seen Sophie across the week, he never had the impression she was keeping something from him – but maybe he had been too distracted by Mary’s birthday celebrations to notice.

“That I…” Sophie briefly squeezed her eyes shut and threw her head back. “Ben and I are seeing each other.” She blurted out with wide eyes, and the smallest sigh of relief.

Nico stayed perfectly still with his hands in his pockets, and blinked at Sophie a few times while all the moments he’d seen the two of them together throughout the year flashed in his memory. They’d been very friendly, yes, but publicly at least nothing more than that. Nico had assumed that Benedikt and Sophie had just kissed a few times or even slept together at most with the way she’d blushed earlier.

“How did this happen?” Nico asked slowly as he tried and failed to put all of the pieces together in his mind.

Sophie let out a small sigh and quickly glanced down at her knotted fingers, before talking about Ben kissing her cheek in Monza, Sophie realising that she was attracted to him in Singapore, and them both ending up in Sophie’s hotel room after the driver’s dinner in Korea. And even before any of that happened, above all else Sophie just really enjoyed being around Benedikt – like when he waited with her in the car park at Silverstone.

“We talked about it all in Japan and… we like each other enough to give things a try.”

Nico let out a small puff of air, and tapped his fingers against his leg.

“You’re sure about this?” He said instead of giving her a lecture about how she probably shouldn’t be dating another driver in case the press found out, knowing it wouldn’t win out against her stubbornness when she’d made a decision on something.

Sophie just nodded, finally dropping her hands by her sides.

Nico let out another sigh, and finally walked over to hug his friend round the shoulders and gently kiss the top of her head. He’d known Benedikt for long enough to say wholeheartedly that he was a good man, and he knew to trust Sophie’s judgement since she was after all one of the most sensible people Nico knew. Even if he maybe didn’t quite agree with the idea, Nico did want to see Sophie be happy.

“If he breaks your heart I’ll run him off the road.”

Sophie let out a half-snicker of a laugh, and hugged her friend back. “Thanks mon ami.”

Tuesday 24th October – Mexico City, Mexico

The chef, Xiomara, closely examined both dishes with a long hum, even tapping her finger against her chin before going to taste each one.

“The salsa is really good on this one,” She said after picking up a taco from the first plate, Sophie squeezed her hands behind her back to stop herself from smiling. “But I think… the guacamole on this one is better.” Sophie looked at James through her peripheral vision and saw the corner of his mouth twitch upwards.

Behind the camera Richard and Katie both looked quite pleased with themselves. As PR videos went it was very laid back, a tour round Xiomara’s restaurant before she gave Sophie and James a crash course in how to make a properly authentic taco, ending with a blind taste test to see whose was better. Apparently the fans would love it, as they did for anything James and Sophie were featured in together.

“It’s a tough decision but…” Xiomara eventually gestured to the first plate. “This is the winner.”

Sophie grinned, clapped her hands together, and even did a small fist bump for good measure. James played the disappointed but accepting sportsman as he clapped Sophie’s shoulder before going to shake Xiomara’s hand. After another minute or so of filming someone called cut, Katie took a batch of pictures of Sophie, Xiomara and James all together (and their tacos), and said with a smile that they were just about done.

Sophie and James both thanked Xiomara for her time as well as the cooking lesson, and she sent them away with their tacos in takeaway boxes alongside best wishes for the race. Sophie carried the food while James held doors open for those carrying cameras and tripods, and the group of five piled into the van to take them back to the hotel.

“James this is really good.” Louis, the team’s videographer, said after trying some of his guacamole. “What did you put in it?”

“Extra lime juice.” He said with a smirk.

“I knew I should have done that,” Sophie scoffed before finishing her taco in two bites. “The whole team will want to come round to yours for dinner now.”

“I don’t think I can fit seven hundred people into my apartment.” James tutted, chewing on his bottom lip.

It became apparent rather quickly that it was going to take a while to get back to the hotel, unsurprisingly traffic in the middle of Mexico City on a race week was very busy. Sophie asked if there was anything else on their schedules for today and Katie replied with a shake of the head.

“As soon as we’re back at the hotel the two of you are free until Thursday.”

“Ooh,” Sophie dramatically turned to James with a bright smile. “How many scandals do you think we can cause before then?”

James’ laugher practically filled the van as Katie and Richard pretended to look very disappointed. Sophie took the opportunity to quickly pull out her phone and text Ben to say that she was on her way back to the hotel. As she slid her phone back into her pocket James asked if anyone had plans for the rest of the day, Louis lamented that he would immediately start editing the video together while Richard and Sophie shook their heads. Katie said with a wistful sigh that she didn’t plan on leaving the pool terrace until dinner, since the weather was holding steady at a sunny 21 Celsius.

It took almost a whole hour for them to get back to the hotel, and it didn’t take much effort for the five of them to polish off the tacos in the mean-time. Once Sophie got out the van she saw that Richard, Katie and Louis had plenty of spare hands to carry the camera equipment, so she followed James into the air conditioned reception once she’d disposed of the now empty food boxes.

“You and Vanessa are welcome to join Mike and me for dinner if you’d like.” James offered with his usual polite charm.

“Oh I gave Vanessa the night off so she could have a long video call home,” Sophie paused to scratch behind her ear. “So I was just going to have a quiet night in.” She glanced down at the floor, not really comfortable that she was half-lying to her teammate. “Though if you see anything nice on the menu text me and I’ll see if I can get it as room service.”

James chuckled as he pulled his phone out of his pocket. “You are definitely the smart one…” He tutted with a smirk.

“Well… you have your uses besides looking nice on posters.” Sophie said with a grin as she made her way over to the lifts. James opened his mouth to throw a retort back, but instead he waved a hand in Sophie’s direction and told her to have a good night as he spotted Cristóbal walking out of the hotel bar.

The second the lift doors closed Sophie pulled her phone back out to text Benedikt.

What time do you want me to come over?

Was the unread message sent while Sophie had still been surrounded by her McLaren colleagues.

6.30 okay? She replied.

Ben’s reply was quick, as if he was already on his phone looking at something else.

It’s perfect, see you then x

Sophie locked her phone and briefly held it against her chest before sliding it into her pocket as the lift started to slow when it neared the sixth floor. The doors opened and she strode out into the empty hallway as if she wasn’t keeping one of the biggest secrets in the entire paddock.

“Ah shit,” James huffed as he patted at his pockets when he and Mike reached the door of the hotel restaurant just before half six. “I’ve left my phone in my room, you go in I’ll be right back.” He briskly walked back towards the lift, double checking that he definitely still had the keycard for his room before he pressed the button for the sixth floor.

James always checked that he had his phone on him at all times, so he had no idea why he’d forgotten about it as he stepped out of the lift and quickly made his way down the hallway to his room. Sure enough it was sat on James’ bed when he walked in, and he had it back in his pocket within seconds.

As James stepped back out into the hallway he found himself looking over his shoulder as he caught something in his peripheral vision, and the sight of Benedikt waiting outside Sophie’s room a few doors down with a backpack slung over his shoulder froze him in place.

Almost instantly the door to Sophie’s room opened, and a bright smile washed over Ben’s face as he quickly stepped inside and a hand reached out to put the do not disturb sign on the door handle before it was quietly shut from the inside.

James didn’t want to jump to any number of conclusions, but he found it difficult of think of any other reason why Benedikt was going to Sophie’s room on a Tuesday night.

One of the still functioning parts of James’ brain stepped his other leg into the hallway and closed the door to his room before his feet carried him back towards the lift. It was only as the doors to the slid shut that James started to compose himself. Because he couldn’t look dumbfounded in front of Mike or anyone else from the team as they would immediately notice and ask what was wrong, and James always needed a decent amount of time before being able to tell a convincing lie.

When the lift doors opened back on the ground floor James strode out of the lift, running a hand down the front of his shirt to smooth out the fabric, and he rolled his shoulders down as he walked into the restaurant and fixed on a smile when he spotted Mike pouring over a menu.

Nothing was wrong and everything was completely and utterly normal, or at least James spent the rest of the evening pretending that was the case.

Sunday 29th October – Autodromo Hermanos Rodríguez

The pleasant disbelief that had followed McLaren all through the weekend briefly carried over to race day during the pre-race strategy meeting, then it all seemed to fall apart when the engineers walked into the garage. Half of Sophie’s mechanics were gathered around James’ car with the rest of his crew – some on their knees looking at the floor of the car and others watching on as the engine cover was carefully lifted off.

What started as a suspected gearbox issue turned out to be a failure in the hydraulics system. The team didn’t have enough time to make the repairs needed to ensure James would start the race.

“Shit…” Sophie said quietly when Chris broke the news to her.

McLaren had been running both cars comfortably in the top ten all weekend, and they’d even made it into Q3 with James and Sophie lining up on the third row. Now it was going to be all on Sophie to bag as many points as she could.

“The plan for today doesn’t change, okay? It just means we’re under a bit more pressure to bring the car home.” Chris spoke calmly, as if it was just another race. Which it was really, the longer Sophie thought about it throughout the day from the drivers parade to the final hour before the race.

She stood as the lone McLaren driver at the front of the grid for the national anthem with dark sunglasses over her eyes and her hands neatly clasped behind her back. When the last note rang into the air to a more than thunderous applause Sophie sharply turned on her heels and strode down the grid. The empty grid slot where James’ car was supposed to be stood out like a sore thumb.

Sophie did what she could to try and ignore it as she pulled up onto the grid for the formation lap, keeping her eyes fixated on the start lights. Fifth place would be an unbelievable result for both herself and the team – if she could keep a hold of it. She had both the Mercs and Ferraris behind her thanks to a combination of a red flag at the end of Q2 and some drivers complaining about the set-up of their car. It was going to take nothing short of a miracle to stay in front of all of them.

Sophie made a clean start and maintained her fifth place through the entirety of the first lap. If the circuit had been built anywhere else the long straights would have killed McLaren’s chances of scoring big points, but the higher altitude of Mexico City meant that the large reduction in drag thanks to the thin air worked in their car’s favour.

“Just keep delivering these lap times Sophie, you’re going a brilliant job.” Was the words of encouragement from Chris on lap 12.

“Am I still on plan A?”

“Affirm, just keep matching the times of the cars behind.”

Sophie mentally and physically knuckled down in the car, but it only lasted a few laps as she started to feel uncomfortable squishing herself into the tiny cockpit even further. And because it was barely making an impact on her lap times.

She made her first pit stop on lap 16, ditching her purple-walled ultrasoft tyres for yellow-walled softs, and by the time the first round of stops had been completed she had dropped down to P6 – but Sophie was only a second or so behind Nathan. The gap between them barely changed until Lap 47 when the number 71 Mercedes peeled off into the pits for his second stop and Sophie finally found herself in clear air. She would have to respond immediately in order to avoid being undercut.

“And box, box. Box, box. Give it everything you have.”

Sophie took Chris’ instructions literally, and worked the tyres so hard she ended up entering the pit lane in a huge puff of white smoke as her tyres locked up the second she hit the brake pedal. Another set of softs was bolted onto the car, and it was only when she was trundling down the pit lane that she asked Chris if she’d managed to hit the pit limiter in time.

“Watkins is coming through the final corner now, remember the white line on exit.”

“That wasn’t what I asked!” Sophie blurted out, but she still kept her car on the right side of the pit exit line while looking in her wingmirrors for the familiar silver figure of Nathan’s Mercedes. “It’s no good making the strategy work if I’ve fucked it up by speeding in the pits.”

Sophie knew that she just had to finish in fifth today, there was no other option with James watching on from the garage.

“If the stewards say anything then I’ll tell you. But it looked fine, just focus on your out lap. We need to pull a gap to the car behind.”

“Copy.”

There was a small pause while Sophie threaded the car neatly through the first three corners.

“You’ve done everything right so far, just keep it up.”

The pattern from the first two stints continued of Sophie delivering just about every lap time she was asked for. Nathan remained lurking in her wingmirrors every step of the way, and she could feel the tread on her tyres start to fade away with each passing lap. Yet every lap time she did was only ever a few hundredths out from Nathan’s. She was doing enough.

“Last lap, just count the corners.”

Sophie drove the last lap like it was qualifying, and the first glimpse she had of the chequered flag give her one last bit of resolve to hold her nerve as she accelerated down the start-finish straight. She felt exhausted, more so than in Hungary, when she finally lifted her foot off the pedal after crossing the line. But a wide smile flashed onto her face when she realised that Nathan still hadn’t passed her.

“You got it! That is P5, and you managed to hold onto the fastest lap as well. That was a brilliant drive! Well done Soph.”

Sophie easily heard the grin in Chris’ voice. She whooped and cheered down the radio, pumping her fist in the air at least five times before she thought about giving a coherent answer back down the radio.

“Yes! Amazing work team, I cannot believe we just did that! Thanks to Amir for the strategy, and everyone in the garage and all of you on the pit wall for getting the car to the end. Hopefully we’ll have just as good a race in Brazil.”

“Yep, fingers crossed. That is also your first top five finish since Hungary, and you got voted Driver of the Day as well. Engine mode strat 12 and remember pick up.”

“Sorry for snapping at you coming out of the pits,” Sophie said meekly as she drove off-line and waved to the crowd. “Thanks for keeping me focused.”

Chris replied back with a small chuckle saying it was far from the worst thing he’d heard.

Sophie gave the crowd a small wave as she drove through the stadium section, they were all on their feet roaring as loud as they had done all weekend – Sophie assumed it was for Vásquez who was stood on top of his bright pink Alpine waving to the crowd. Parc fermé by contrast was much quieter since the podium was in the stadium section instead of the pit lane, so for once there wasn’t any cameras in the scrutineering garage. Sophie felt a hand clap her shoulder as she stuffed her gloves and balaclava into her helmet, and saw Nathan when she looked up.

“Congrats,” He said with a tired smile. “Chasing you down was impossible!”

“Preventing you from overtaking me was impossible!” She paused to step onto the weigh scales. “My tyres were gone at the end.” Sophie cut her hand through the air to get her point across, alongside the relieved sigh she let out.

Sophie found herself saying the same thing over and over in the media pen, that she was thrilled with the result today and it felt like the hardest fifth place she’d ever raced for, with the slightly sour note of how unfortunate it had been that James hadn’t been able to start the race. She was sure to make the reassurances that the team wouldn’t have any more mechanical failures for Brazil and Abu Dhabi, as per Richard’s instructions.

Back in hospitality everyone still looked thrilled at the result, even James’ side of the garage. All the engineers were grabbing a quick coffee in hospitality before the debrief, and Sophie was greeted with warm pats on the back and a side hug from Gary and Chris.

James was sat at one of the tables in the corner by himself scrolling through his phone. He looked up at the exact moment Sophie glanced over at him and their eyes locked onto each other for the first time all weekend. For some reason James had been keeping his distance from Sophie ever since Thursday morning.

She gave him a small smile and a nod of the head, and was surprised to get a hint of a smile back as James slowly stood up from his chair.

“I should probably go get changed.” Sophie spoke quickly to her engineers and dashed off towards the narrow corridor that led to the driver rooms and engineer’s office. It was a tight squeeze as the teams were all based in temporary structures, but Sophie just about managed to catch up with James without attracting too much attention to herself. “Hey!” She said with a small smile as James reached the door to his room, the tips of his fingers resting on the door handle.

“Hey,” His voice still lacked the usual amicable warmth James had used all year when speaking to her. “Great job today.” But at least he slid his phone into his pocket to give Sophie his full attention.

“Thanks, can I have a quick word with you before the debrief?”

“Sure.” James gave a clipped reply, and gestured to the door to Sophie’s room. They quickly walked in one after the other, with James staying by the door and Sophie leaning against the massage table. Sophie let out a small sigh and slowly tapped her fingers against the padded surface, watching as James didn’t quite know what to do with his hands or how to place himself. She hadn’t seen him be like that all year.

“Have I… done something to offend you? I know we’re not like, best best friends but this feels like the first weekend where you haven’t really given me the time of day and…” Sophie paused when she saw James’ shoulders tense up. “If I’ve done something wrong I’d rather you just said so I can apologise for it.”

Silence filled the room, as James’ eyes immediately dropped to the ground. It took him a good few seconds before he said anything.

“I saw Benedikt Schmitz outside your hotel room on Tuesday night.” He said the first half of the sentence to the floor, and the second half to a spot on the wall past Sophie’s shoulder.

“Is that all?” Sophie huffed out a nervous laugh, she thought Ben had been careful. “I thought you and him were alright?”

Silence again, as James pulled his hands out of his pockets to fold his arms across his chest.

“Are you and him…” His voice trailed off, leaving the second half of the question hanging in the air between them. Sophie tapped her fingers against the massage table again.

“I was going to tell you at the end of the season, for what it’s worth.” And she was, genuinely. She felt it was only fair, especially since Nico, Richard and Vanessa all knew now.

James scoffed, tutted, and shook his head in that order.

“I really hope you know what you’re doing.” James’ tone was cold. Not quite at the point of being condescending, but definitely disappointed, even though he could barely look at her for more than a second.

“Since when did you care about who I date?” Sophie fired back with her hands curled into fists to stop her voice from rising so high that anyone else might overhear through the thin walls.

“He drives for another team,” James said with a heavy scowl. “Just because you don’t give a shit about what anyone thinks doesn’t mean that your actions don’t have consequences!”

Sophie’s shoulders fell as she felt the air around her drop a couple of degrees and most of the air freeze in her lungs.

“I have to get changed.” She said in a firm yet slightly detached voice, it was her turn to look somewhere between James’ trainers and the door. “So you need to leave.”

“Fine.” James gave another clipped reply as he once again spoke to the wall instead of his teammate, but he at least had the decency to quietly shut the door behind him instead of slamming it.

In the end it was lucky that James didn’t start the race, as the fact that he and Sophie didn’t need to exchange information during the debrief covered up the fact that neither of them said a word to the other’s face for the whole hour. When Martin called the debrief to a close, and told everyone to have a safe journey home, Sophie turned to Chris and her engineers and thanked them for their work over the weekend, a sentiment she echoed to Leena and Amir as James walked past her without saying a word.

Thursday 2nd November – McLaren Technology Centre

It was freezing cold in Woking. Everyone had arrived at the factory wearing sturdy boots bundled up in jumpers, scarves and thick coats, and it was the first thing anyone mentioned in conversation. Apparently it had been quite frosty in their little corner of Surrey that morning. Before the start of Sophie’s simulator session Chris double checked that everyone’d had a hot drink before they got started.

“Great job Soph, we’ll have a ten minute break before our next run.”

“Copy.” Sophie sighed as the screen in front of her went black, and she rubbed her eyes before taking off her headset and jumping out of the imitation cockpit. When she walked past the dividing wall Chris was scribbling into his notebook while Gary was in discussion with a couple of the other engineers from the sim team. “Anybody want anything from the canteen?” Sophie asked, stretching her arms wide. “I was going to stretch my legs.”

“I’ll have my usual,” Chris said when everyone else shrugged that they were fine with their bottled water.

Sophie grabbed her hoodie from the back of her chair and pulled it on over her head as she made her way through the maze of grey and white corridors that led to the promenade.

The one saving grace of the day’s weather was the lack of rain, despite how thick and grey the clouds were. Sophie walked alone down the promenade, her footsteps creating a small echo as she glanced out of the glass wall at the lake and greenery outside. Unfortunately she couldn’t stay in the canteen to have her hot drink as the walk to and from the simulator took up most of her precious ten minute break, and as she reached to pull the entrance door open Sophie had to jump back as someone opened it from the other side.

James froze for a couple of seconds when he saw his teammate, but he eventually held the door open wide enough for Sophie to walk through. She opened her mouth to say something, but all that came out was a quiet ‘thanks’ as she brushed passed him to head over to the counter to order her drinks.

“One medium white coffee and an earl grey tea please.” Sophie smiled at the person on duty at the till while she reached over for a sachet of brown sugar. She went to pick up a sachet of white sugar when one was handed to her.

“I know it’s a lousy peace offering,” James said quietly. Sophie took it from his hand regardless. “I um… I owe you a conversation. About Mexico.” His eyes were wide, apologetic even, as he spoke. They looked more green than blue today. Sophie blinked at him while she mulled over her options. She’d forgotten that he was also scheduled to be at the factory today, something about meetings with the PR department Richard had said in passing.

“Well, it’ll have to be later. I’m in the middle of my sim session.”

Her and Chris’ drinks were placed on the metal counter and Sophie paid for them with a quick tap of her card. “I can text you when I’m done.” She picked up the two disposable cups and walked away before James could finish saying okay. By sheer luck she didn’t have to go back and ask James to open the door for her, as a couple of engineers from the aero department walked in when Sophie was a few paces away from the door and kindly let her through.

When she got back to the simulator she said nothing about her teammate, and instead took as much of Chris’ feedback onboard before jumping back into the simulator for the next part of her run plan. The focus on quali runs for next week was a good distraction, all Sophie allowed herself to think about was apex speeds and finding the optimal line through the twisty middle sector of Interlagos. In the end, the simulated lap times looked decent.

“Great work today.” Chris said with a smile as he clapped his driver on the shoulder when the post-session debrief was over. They were in the middle of comparing their weekend plans when Sophie pulled out her phone to text James that she and the engineers were packing up. Chris was taking his wife Imogen, the head of Comms at Aston Martin, out for dinner on Friday while Sophie was locked into more training with Vanessa. “Don’t you ever have any free time?” Chris said, mildly teasing as he adjusted his glasses.

“I’ll watch a film if I’m lucky!” Sophie huffed out a small laugh. Benedikt was meant to be coming over on Saturday, but for multiple reasons Chris didn’t need to know that.

“Well, have a good weekend.”

“You too.” As Chris made his way over to the door James walked in, and the engineer looked between the two drivers with a slightly curious gaze. “We were going to compare notes, since we won’t see each other before next week.” Sophie said with a bright smile, it seemed to be good enough for Chris to say or do nothing more than offer the two drivers a small wave goodbye.

With the engineers gone Sophie once again found herself in an uncomfortable silence. A part of her didn’t want it to become the norm whenever her and James were close enough to each other. She chose to sit back down at the small round table on the other side of the room to the computers and data screens. James folded his arms across his chest and leaned against the end of the computer desk. All Sophie could hear was the sound of their breathing.

“I’m…” James started, then just as quickly cut himself off. Either by choice or by happenstance he hadn't trimmed his stubble as it looked thicker than normal. He didn't suit it. “I still not sure about you dating Benedikt.” He said eventually, not quite meeting Sophie’s eyes.

“I never expected you to agree with it, I just felt that telling you was the decent thing to do.” Sophie huffed an indignant sigh as she leaned back in her chair.

“And it was,” James cleared his throat as he glanced down at his shoes, and when he looked up he finally managed to look Sophie in the eyes and hold his gaze steady. “I was just jealous – of both of you.” James gulped, “I haven’t won a race since last year, I haven’t been in contention for the championship since 2020, and my love life is about as successful as this year’s car so…” James cut himself off, and looked down at the floor again. “Taking all that out on you wasn’t right, and I’m sorry. If he makes you happy then… you deserve it.”

Sophie looked down, not having a clue what to say in return, and tightly threaded her fingers together in her lap.

“Who all knows anyway?” James asked quietly.

“Nico, Ben’s trainer Matt, his press officer Annika, Richard and Vanessa.” Sophie listed them all off carefully. When she’d told Richard and Vanessa on the Wednesday night in Mexico they were both surprised, Vanessa more so than Richard since Sophie hadn’t said or even hinted anything to her beforehand. But they both said they were alright with it, eventually. Once it became clear their budding relationship wasn’t going to be a complete state secret. Sophie and Ben were both thinking of telling their parents over the Winter break.

“Alright then,” James nodded. Silence filled the simulator room again, but this time at least it didn’t feel so unbearable. If this was going to be their new normal, Sophie felt that she could just about live with it. “Can we… call a truce?”

Sophie finally unwound her hands and sighed with relief. “I’d like that. I hate not knowing where we stand.”

The corner of James’s mouth twitched into a brief smile as Sophie got up out of her chair, picking up her notebook and pens.

“I’ll see you in Brazil.” Looking at her watch it was nearing quarter to six, and she needed to start making her way home unless she wanted to be stuck on the M25 for all eternity.

“If you want any restaurant recommendations just ask.” James said quietly. They exchanged small goodbyes, and James watched Sophie leave as she gently closed the door behind her.

* * *

2023 Mexico Grand Prix Classification

1st - Cristóbal Vásquez (ESP, Alpine) - 25pts 2nd - Benedikt Schmitz (SUI, Red Bull) - 18pts 3rd - Alistair Mitchell (GBR, Red Bull) - 15pts 4th - Daniel Jakobsson (SWE, Alpine) - 12pts 5th - Sophie Knightsbridge (GBR, McLaren) - 10pts 6th - Nathan Watkins (CAN, Mercedes) - 8pts 7th - Marc Pavard (MON, Mercedes) - 6pts 8th - Teo Martinez (ARG, Ferrari) - 4pts 9th - Owen Nichols (NZL, Aston Martin) - 2pts 10th - Antonio Lima (BRA, Alpha Tauri) - 1pt 11th - Giovanni Carotti (ITA, Ferrari) 12th - Erik Braun (GER, Audi) 13th - Evan McKinley (AUS, Williams) 14th - Jan Martens (NED, Audi) 15th - Aidan Glover (GBR, Williams) 16th - Leon Bauer (AUT, Haas) 17th - Aaron Jones (GBR, Aston Martin) DNF - Tadashi Sato (JPN, Haas) DNF - Nico Dumont (FRA, Alpha Tauri) DNS - James Hewitt (GBR, McLaren)

Fastest Lap - Sophie Knightsbridge - 1pt

2023 World Championship Standings after Round 18 Drivers Standings 1st - Benedikt Schmitz* - 340pts 2nd - Giovanni Carotti - 237pts 3rd - Nathan Watkins - 206pts 4th - Cristóbal Vásquez - 204pts 5th - Alistair Mitchell - 203pts

Constructors Standings 1st - Red Bull Racing Honda* - 543 2nd - Ferrari - 372pts 3rd - Mercedes AMG - 346pts 4th - Alpine-Renault - 313pts 5th - McLaren-Mercedes - 141pts

(an asterisk indicates the 2023 Drivers and Constructors World Champions)

#my writing #Life In The Fast Lane #LITFL Chapters #title from the taylor song of the same name

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