#as if my media degree wasn't bad enough

[essektheylyss]

what people expect when you sign up for an LIS degree: haha quirky book nerds, so fun, I remember toddler storytime at the library are you gonna read to children

what they actually get when you sign up for an LIS degree: smashing Alexa isn't enough anymore I need to learn how to run my own internet and also build a house on a totally closed circuit system.

[cinnanmonn]

🌷𝙱𝙻𝙾𝚂𝚂𝙾𝙼𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝙻𝙾𝚅𝙴🌷

Yan! Classmate x GN Secret Admirer Reader

Tw: stalking, dub-con, masterbation

It's so confusing. You like him so much. You could only stare at him in admiration in hopes he'll look at you like that as well.

School was starting to drain you, yet he gave you determination to keep attending to school, just so you could glance at 𝐡𝐢𝐦.

It hurts you to the core, no matter what happens, your just his classmate. You really don't have the balls to talk to him.

The only thing that makes you delusional enough to think you have a chance is the occasional eye contact.

Sometimes you would get caught staring, but instead of looking away or even being disgusted, he flashes you a sweet smile.

He's so damn cute. That's likely the only communication the both of you have.

You really wanted to know more about him. So much that at some point, you followed him home.

You even brought your camera, taking a few sneaky pictures. Whenever you looked through them, you felt a sense of disgust at yourself, yet a tingly and warm feeling in your chest.

You would even stalk his social medias, wanting to know more about his interests and personality. You had found out, he was 𝐨𝐛𝐬𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐝 with tulips. Not even flowers in general, just tulips.

So you gathered the courage to give him some. For the hopes of making him happy. You even practiced on how to give it to him and prepared a reason.

The day came as you go to class, stashing the bouquet of flowers in a paper bag, making sure to hide it.

You couldn't stop staring at the time as the day passed by, it was already time to go home. You were too cowardly and let him leave.

......

I really want to give it to him. No matter how silly this is, I just wanna see him. Right now.

You quickly make your way to him right before he was about to leave.

You shout his name as you run towards him.

"Please wait! " you say, panting heavily. He looks at you, fuck. He's so cute, his eyes, his mouth, his nose, everything.

"Uhm... So I wanted to give these to you since I saw that you were part of gardening club... "

.....What the actual hell. You didn't know what nonsense you were spouting. Heck, he wasn't even part of the gardening club! He's part of the cooking club!

He turns in a 180° degree angle and smiles sweetly, giving you butterflies.

"I'm actually not part of the gardening club, but tulips are my favorite. Thank you. " he takes it and gives a sniff.

"Yeah... " You smile awkwardly from embarrassment and happiness.

"Alright.... I'll get going.... " you quickly turn around and sprint away.

He waves at you, before heading to his own home.

Once he returned home, he couldn't wait. You were too cool. It's all your fault. Now he has a big problem in his pants.

He carefully puts the tulips in a vase, before grabbing one and lying down on his bed, unzipping his pants.

It's so pretty. So pretty, like you. The tulips reminded him of you. Heck, he didn't even need lube. He was already so wet.

He couldn't help but stroke himself by thoughts of you. Did you really care for him like that? Of course you did. You followed him to his home, always looked at him so sweetly, he couldn't handle it.

It drove him crazy. Crazy for you. "A-ahh...! " he could feel himself grow closer to release as he strokes his shaft.

His speed increases, he wants to hump you right now. He wants you to touch him and violate him real bad. He loves you so so so so so much. How do you not know?

The day you met, you were really sweet to him, your pretty figure always helped him when you started high school. Now high school is about to end and that crush still lasts.

But he's so happy you like him back!

He needed you so badly. Every single day, all because of you. The way you stare at him made him frequently need to go to the restroom, the teacher even asked if he had bladder problems or something.

"Mh... Ah... my love....! " he strokes faster as he came, at the thought of you. He looks at his hand, he had seen this sight so many times, look what you've done to him.

➹➹➹

"Ahh.... I wonder what he thought of it. "

Would he think it's weird? Is he disgusted? Did he absolutely love it and kissed it all night?

You could barely sleep that night. Because of the excitement and nervousness, also the weird feeling of someone else watching you.

♡---------------------------------------------------♡

𝙷𝚎𝚕𝚕𝚘! 𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚒𝚜 𝚖𝚢 𝚏𝚒𝚛𝚜𝚝 𝚙𝚘𝚜𝚝 𝚜𝚘 𝙸 𝚑𝚘𝚙𝚎 𝚒𝚝'𝚜 𝚘𝚔𝚊𝚢, 𝚜𝚘𝚛𝚛𝚢 𝚒𝚏 𝚒𝚝'𝚜 𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚢 𝚋𝚊𝚜𝚒𝚌 𝙸'𝚖 𝚝𝚛𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚖𝚢 𝚋𝚎𝚜𝚝 (　；∀；)

𝙳𝚘 𝚞 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚒𝚝? 𝙲𝚞𝚣 𝙸'𝚕𝚕 𝚋𝚎 𝚙𝚘𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚘𝚗 :𝙳

[themeraldee]

I think Homelander would love someone who gets jealous. Not 'i need space to calm down for a bit' jealous but 'i'm gonna either be super clingy or fuck you into the bed for the rest of the night' type of jealous. Because his SO doesn't kill people even if they're chill with it.

But imagine them having a jealous streak and Homelander finding it out because after a while he connects the dots of people flirting with him or Vought pushing a relationships for media purposes to the times his SO is suddenly VERY clingy or is pouncing on him

yes yes YES!! My man's ego is gonna be through the roof. As if it already wasn't. But if it's the kinda jealousy that makes his SO clingy he is SOO gonna indulge in that anytime there's a chance (upon finding out about this in the first place).

With all his previous relationships not caring about him to that degree to finally have someone who literally FIGHTS for his attention? He's smug as hell. Teasing you about it when he figures it out.

"Don't tell me you're jealous." He's biting back a grin, instead cocking his eyebrow.

"How could I not be! She was all over you!"

"It's her job. Madelyn wants her to be my public girlfriend." He keeps riling you up. Especially mentioning the new superhero meaning to act as his new 'girlfriend'.

"Well maybe you should tell Madelyn that it's not happening." You walk him to the couch and he lets you push him down on it. Immediately straddling him. "You..." You start off with fire in your eyes. "Are in a happy committed relationship. It's not fair that I have to see you with other people." You're close enough to nuzzle into his warmth, your face stuffed in between his neck and his collar, inhaling that intoxicating scent of his.

"Mhm you're right it's totally not fair." You feel the rumble of his voice in his throat.

"Stop taking this lightly!" You're already peppering kisses across his neck. Your hips having a mind of their own are already grinding down against him.

You have this intrinsic need to make him smell like you, to touch him and kiss him everywhere you can. If you can't be out there in public with him you'll make sure that he remembers your fingers and lips all over him. Not a part of him that's been untouched by you.

"I'm not. I just love when you get like this." He finally lets himself grin at the needy way you're pushing yourself against him and he couldn't be happier that you want him this bad.

He needs to make you jealous more often.

[bsof-maarav]

I just talked to one of the handful of friends I have left from my former community and found out that a specific former mutual friend, one who particularly prides herself on being a feminist, is straight up denying the hamas rapes, demanding "forensic evidence" and claiming it's all "Israeli propaganda."

I just have no more words left. I knew it was bad and I left behind what little social media I had in the first days after October 7th because I saw enough to know that I wasn't going to be able to be in this community anymore, I saw enough to know that I wasn't going to be hanging out with this crowd ever again. But I didn't stay long enough to watch every particular individual do and say the monstrous things that it turns out so many of them have been doing and saying.

I just left. And for a lot of them, I deliberately didn't look. I deliberately didn't look too closely at anything this woman was doing, for example--I thought it would hurt too much if it was bad. I thought it was better to just consider this part of my life over, to remember these people as they were to me before. I didn't want to know. I was leaving anyway.

Piecemeal, I saw some egregious things from some of my former friends. Glorifying self immolation...calling for the genocide of Jews...Holocaust inversion...claiming the hostages deserved it...denying that Jews are indigenous to anyplace on this earth...people who have utilized our words and symbols for their own liberation movements, wholesale denying the humanity of the people who made those words and symbols in the first place.

Every new piece of news I learn about who is dehumanizing us and with what rationale is just profoundly dispiriting.

No matter how many ways these people should be able to relate and make a human connection, they refuse to. Everything in their supposed values should enable them to hold the truth of what is happening to us. But it doesn't.

They're willing to treat Jews, especially Israeli Jews, in a way they would never accept for anyone else, in a way they would strenuously resist for anyone else--in fact, they strenuously resist much less serious things for anyone and everyone else! and that just breaks me. It means they never had the values that I thought we shared. It's all been a lie.

I froze things in time for some months, to some degree, accepting it was bad enough to be over, but not wanting to know the details. But with every new detail it's undeniable: there is no moral compass there. That world should have been a home for me and for years, I felt it was, but this hate was there the whole time. I never understood the conditions of my "belonging."

I can never forgive them. Not least because they'll never stop feeling righteous about their evil.

[racingline3]

Unexpected ~ Charles Leclerc

Charles Leclerc x reader

Description: Small blurb about idiots that can't communicate

~ Fluff ~

*********

"Charles?" You interrupt the interview. If anyone asks, its because of time constraints.

It may or may not be because you were jealous of the interviewer getting the full force of Charles charm.

"Yeah?" He turned his head at your quiet tone, you were surprised he had heard at all, but he didn't meet your eyes. He rarely ever looked you in the eye.

It was probably for the best considering you had a crush on him and would probably melt under his gaze but you couldn't help but want the attention he so easily gave to everyone else.

"Time's up." You say more to the interviewer that was standing too close to him than to the Monasque himself.

He nods, apologies to the interviewer, then turns and trips over his own feet before righting himself.

"Should you be really driving such high speed cars?" You joke with a smile. But like everything you had done to try and be friendly with Charles since starting your job with Ferrari 3 months ago, it seems to fall on deaf ears.

He mumbles something you can't understand and his cheeks turn so red they compliment his shirt.

"I have to go get Carlos for a sit down interview with a magazine reporter, I'll catch you later for a debrief on the media debrief?" You cringe at your own words as you try to joke and fail.

"Sure whatever." He says, suddenly looking like a kicked puppy. You huffed, it wasn't your fault he had to spend more time with you than the interviewer he obviously liked.

**********

The sight before you should be criminal. Charles is waiting for you at the board table in the empty office room in a soft hoodie and freshly showered hair.

He sits up straighter when you enter the room, "How is Carlos?"

You shrug, "He's not too happy, bad strategy call all around, wasn't it?"

You could feel his eyes following you as you sat down with your laptop and folder. "I wasn't too harsh with the media afterwards?" He asks, taking the stats sheet you hand him.

You had to squash the jealous monster rising up your throat, if anything he had been all too comfortable with them.

"No, you followed the points we had set out." You said. "You were great...like usual." You admit.

It feels like watching the sun come out on a rainy day as a soft smile dawned on Charles face. "I'm great?" He asks.

You urge the ground to swallow you up to no avail. You were just an assistant working on different marketing projects, you were supposed to be professional and not be crushing on one of the drivers.

"I...that's not...I mean..."

You could not have been more delighted when your manager appeared in the doorways ask how Carlos interview went. By the time you got back to Charles, he had backed away, both physically and emotionally. Giving one word answers and not looking at you until he was leaving the room.

"I think....you are great, too." His accent seems to smooth the words over. Enough do that you know they will slip easily past your defences and nestle under your skin for a long time. You already know you'll hear them on repeat in your head while you walk around pretending you aren't hopelessly crushing on Charles.

**********

"So today is my last day being your media handler" You try to keep your voice light but you had not been looking forward to this. At all. You know you are going to miss Charles, but it wasn't like you ever had him in the first place.

"What?" Charles stops mid step, eyes wide.

"I thought someone would have told you." You say.

"You're leaving?" He sounds like he does when his car goes out of control on a spin in the rain.

"Yeah I'm moving to what's Carlos' side of the garage, the assistant manager there has the same degree as me and I really want to see what I can learn."

"So I'll still see you around?" He asks. You frown to yourself, he never seemed so eager to see you much before.

"And its good for your career?"

"Yeah it's a great opportunity."

He leaves you completely surprised when he goes into the media conference room like he's just won a Grand Prix

***********

You hear your name being called and you'd recognise that accent anywhere.

"There you are. I was looking for you." Charles says as he catches you before you leave the Paddock after practice on Friday.

You rack your brain for something you'd forgotten but you had finished your to do list for the day and Charles name hadn't been anywhere near it.

He gives you a lopsided smile, "You didn't forget anything." You wonder when he started reading your mind. "I just hadn't seen you since before the summer break. How was yours?"

"Oh." You blink, "I had some work to do but I did get home to see my family. Yours?"

"Stressful."

"Oh I'm sorry..."

"No." He groans, "I'm sorry I keep putting my foot in my mouth. What I mean was that I did a lot of thinking..."

"Dangerous." You quip with a quick grin.

"About you."

"Me?" You're voice comes out in a squeak.

"Yes." You finally notice that he's gazing into your eyes.

"I cannot stop thinking about you. I make a fool of myself in front of you. I can't talk, I replay our conversations over and over. I like you, since the first time I met you. Do you want to go out sometime...with me?"

You presume this is what driving an F1 car is like, adrenaline coursing through your veins.

"I thought you hated me."

He looks stricken, "No, no! Dammit Arthur was right..." He mumbles more to himself than to you and you can't help but find it adorable.

"I didn't mean for you to think that."

"But you're so charming with everyone but me."

"Exactly, I can't form proper words around you. And we were working together so I couldn't let you know I liked you. I don't want to affect your career."

And that was the Charles you had developed a crush on, the earnest, caring man.

"Oh." You never would have dared to hope for this scenario.

"You're smart and funny and beautiful and would you consider going out with me?"

You assume this is what it's like when the lights go out and the cars roar into action.

"I would really like that."

[phoward89]

Based on this ask

Written special for my amazing moot @swiftieblyth

Everything seemed to be looking up for you. The last couple of months have been great. Your old friends, the ones that had backstabbed you, were no longer in your vicinity and you made new friends out of Clemensia Dovecote and Persephone Price, the girlfriend of Festus Creed. Coryo was leery of Persephone tho; even called her a cannibal because her father, Nero, had cut a dead maid's leg off to feed his family during the war.

Yea, that disturbed you a bit, but you didn't hold it against Persephone. She was a kid; most likely didn't know what she was eating. You always swatted your boyfriend's chest when he started his cannibal talk.

And talk about Coryo, oh he was just the best boyfriend to you. Truly, he was amazing. Despite his cold, stoic, callous nature he was very loving, genuine, and thoughtful with you.

Everything was going great, until it wasn't…

It was mid-June, University’s spring semester was over, Coryo graduated with a double major degree in Political Science and Military Strategy, and he was now deep in his work as the youngest assistant gamemaker in the history of Panem. And that happens to be whenever the bullshit drama with your ‘friends’ started up again. It started with little things, really.

Like they'd walk past you when you're at the mall with Clemmie and Persephone- making snide remarks under their breath. Remarks that'd have Clemmie serving them cunt with loud clap backs that made your ‘friends’ recoil with embarrassment. Clemmie and Persephone wanted you to tell Coryo about your old friends stalking you on shopping trips; saying nasty things about you under their breath while passing by, but you told them that it wasn't bad enough for Coryo to know. That they're blowing it up into something bigger then it is. You even made Persephone promise not to tell Festus, for fear that he'd tell Coryo since they're like best friends.

Of course your girls agreed to keep the low key mall drama about your ‘friends’ to themselves. But they did make you promise to tell Coryo about it if it got too bad.

And you didn't intend to keep that promise, until one day you had to.

Things were escalating with your old friends to the point where they were trash talking you on social media- again. This time tho, well, they're dragging your boyfriend into it. Saying that he has to fight your battles, that he fights dirty by fucking up people's lives just cause you can't deal with being called out with shit, that he has to ruin everyone that looks at you the wrong way, etc, etc, etc. You knew that Coryo wasn't big on social media (he had a Pangram account, but he rarely posts or goes on it) and hoped that he wouldn't find out about the ‘friends’ drama 2.0, but unfortunately for you his other friends did have social media.

And of fucking course Festus Creed had told Coryo all about the drama. Even showed him the slew of nasty posts that the salty bitches were posting about you and him. And to say those posts pissed your boyfriend off was an understatement. He was absolutely livid.

So livid that he wants to kill all of these ‘friends’ of yours that’re talking shit. Between trash talking you and dragging the Snow name thru the mud, well, those girls better run far far away from the Capitol and fast.

But now that Coriolanus knows what's wrong he understands why you've been sulking lately. It's been frustrating for him seeing you stay in bed, buried underneath the blankets all day for days on end; not wanting to do anything. But now he understands why.

And he's determined to make you feel better.

“I bought you a new book from that author you like.” Coryo told you, walking into the bedroom you share only to see you in bed, reading a book that he swears you reread about 5-or-6 times already.

“Thank you, Coryo.” You weakly smile, feeling blah even tho you're reading one of your emotional support books.

“Festus showed me the posts that those girls are posting about us, my darling.” Your blonde boyfriend confronted you while walking over to the bed and sitting next to you. Placing a supportive hand on your knee, he asks, “Why didn't you tell me they started their bullshit again?��

Closing your book, you looked down in embarrassment and sighed, “I don't want you thinking that you have to come to my rescue over this. It's my problem with these girls, not yours.”

Placing the new book he got you on the bedside table, he gently cupped your cheeks in his large, calloused hands and tilted your head back slightly so your eyes met his baby blues. “Y/N, baby, it's my job to take care of you and protect you because I'm your boyfriend; I love you.”

Your eyes began to well up with tears. “I don't know why, I'm such a loser. You could do better, find somebody that doesn't need you to defend them all the time.” You sniffled.

Hearing you talk like that because of those ‘friends’ of yours broke his heart. Coriolanus thinks that you're amazing. You're a beautiful person with a beautiful soul who made his dark withered up heart bloom and beat with love again. How could you think he deserves better when all he wants, needs, and loves is you?

Rationally, Coryo knows that it's depression and anxiety due to the situation talking and not really you, but that doesn't mean he truly understands your words. They hurt him because he just wants you to be happy; to be happy with him.

Your platinum blonde boyfriend pressed a soft feather light kiss to your forehead only to wrap his arms around you and pull you down onto the bed to cuddle with him. “You're not a loser, darling. You're perfect for me.” He assures you, kissing the tip of your cute nose. “You know that I'm here for you, baby. You can talk to me or not, but I'm here.”

And Coryo was there for you. He did everything in his power to pull you out of your depression and to help you settle down your anxiety. He ordered your favorite pastries, coffee, and refreshers from the high end coffee shop down the street from your penthouse, only to surprise you with brunch in Grandma’am's rooftop rose garden. It was a very romantic and thoughtful gesture. One that brought a smile to your face.

Coryo also played all of your favorite board games with you in another attempt to cheer you up. The two of you sat on the bedroom floor, rolling dice, dealing fake paper money, and trying to line up little letter blocks to make words while playing game after game over glasses of wine.

Coriolanus never played board games before he got with you because, honestly, his family was too poor to afford them. But when you moved in with him and brought your game collection, well, he'd play them with you once in a while. But now that you're in a funk, well, he's busting out the games more often than not to put a smile on your face.

Even when he comes home dead tired from preparations for the upcoming 14th Hunger Games, he's still finding the time to cheer you up. To support you.

And then when he's too tired to do anything and sees that you're having a hard time with your depression; that you haven't left the bed since he left in the morning, he orders pizza for the two of you and binge watches your favorite movie series with you. He cuddles you in bed, letting you curl up in his side, while watching TV in bed and reminding you how much you mean to him.

Coryo's also devising some plans to permanently get rid of the girls that are so mean to you, but you didn't need to know that. All you needed to know was that he's your loving and devoted boyfriend who will always be by your side no matter what.

And one day when he's President Coriolanus Snow and you're his First Lady Y/N Snow everyone will be too scared to say anything mean and hateful about either one of you. And if they do, well…they won't be breathing too long afterwards once he has a special afternoon tea with them.

Tags: @kuroosbby001 @purriteen @poppyflower-22 @meetmeatyourworst @whipwhoops @bxtchopolis @readingthingsonhere @savagenctzen @ryswritingrecord @erikasurfer @tulips2715 @universal-s1ut @thesmutconnoisseur @squidscottjeans @sudek4l @wearemadeofstardust0 @mashiromochi @gracieroxzy @belcalis9503 @shari-berri @aoi-targaryen @whiteoakoak @spear-bearing-bi-witch @gisellesprettylies @loverandqueenofdragons @qoopeeya @mfnqueen1 @permanentlyexhaustedpigeon88 @v-love @joyfulyouthlover @harvey-malfoy @tian-monique @chxrrybomb22 @marvel-hiddles-stark @xjinnix @devils-blackrose @zombicupcake3 @jacesvelaryons

[fireemblems24]

Do You Ever Feel People Just Don't "Get" Dimitri?

I talked to my brother about Three Hopes, and he wanted to see an "evil" Dimitri. He wanted Dimitri to kill innocent people and other horrible stuff he didn't get to do in Three Houses.

I was just flabbergasted. Because that's so counter to the core of who Dimitri is that even thinking there's a chance you could see it in an official piece of Fodlan media just floored me.

He's not a Dimitri hater at all. He's primarily a Claude fan, but thinks Azure Moon and Dimitri got the best story. He doesn't like Edelgard and doesn't care about Rhea. He never participates in discourse and doesn't know anything about famous "takes." Just your average FE fan being honest about what they would enjoy.

I get where he came from. He felt Dimitri's actions didn't go far enough in Azure Moon - too justifiable for the "fallen man" plot. I disagree, but I get it. I also get the desire to see villain!Dimitri, in fanfiction only though.

I think some people want Dimitri to be something he's not - morally grey like Claude and Edelgard. Core parts of them are "grey." Dimitri's just not. He's black-and-white - good or bad. Dimitri's driving principle is to protect and serve the disadvantaged. Injustice and others' suffering infuriates him to a detrimental degree and mixes it up with his own unresolved trauma. Having him willingly and gleefully injure someone innocent is against the most prominent part of his character.

Dimitri's black-and-white in a universe of grey. He's the "square peg in a round hole." When the character doesn't fit the role they're supposed to play, the conflict created makes things more interesting. He's a Lord of the Rings character trying to survive Game of Thrones, if you will. And that makes him soooo interesting - how he doesn't fit. I understand people wishing Dimitri to be something he's not, but I think it's exactly what they wish wasn't true that makes him stand out so much.

I was just so amazed someone so neutral could get Dimitri so horribly wrong.

[statementlou]

Louis might not be chucking bricks at No. 10, but people are responding like he’s never displayed leftist politics or challenged a government position on anything. He supported demands to the government about a fix for UK touring musician post Brexit and Marcus Rashford’s petition about food insecurity. He fought the police about their social media use in 2018 and criticised the UK government position/support for factory workers in the pandemic. The things he speaks about are usually UK issues and meaningful to him or his family and friends. He’s also most likely to speak when he isn’t working. Also that specific anarchy has a punk anti authoritarian message as well. That statement fits Louis pretty well. He has been a poster boy for not sitting down and shutting up and doing what you’re told since 2012. If he was he probably wouldn’t have a solo career and he definitely wouldn’t have sold out the O2.

I like this point about him speaking out more when he's not working, I think that's a really great and useful observation and makes so much sense. I feel like it makes sense in two ways right now: like first, I don't blame him for not wanting to do things that would jeopardize how beautifully everything is going for him right now after the number of setbacks and troubles he's had to get here, it must feel so precarious. And knowing for a fact that any political statement you make will spawn a dozen tabloid stories and all kinds of outrage is bad enough, but add to that the fact that it's simply impossible to predict which thing will turn into a huge viral mess- it's a lot. And second, he's not just working, he's been on TOUR! I've been around musicians my whole life and one constant is that tour is time outside of normal time and life, it's a bubble, it's only paying attention to right where you are and what's in front of you and the people there with you and everything else is put off and neglected, is for when you get home (and have massive post tour letdown depression and fatigue). I'm not saying he can disconnect with the outside world entirely... but putting everything on pause? I would be surprised if it were any other way, and I would be surprised if he's been following the news and counter news and so forth closely enough to feel comfortable speaking out publicly about anything when it will be so scrutinized and picked apart. I would add to your list supporting the rail strike (something we wouldn't even know about if it hadn't been tossed in as an aside by an interviewer in the print only version of a piece, he didn't post about it or anything) and attending and posting about the BLM protests (not to mention telling people to pirate his stuff come on how punk is that), and I agree he is much more likely to speak out about UK issues which makes sense: most people are most moved by issues that are close to their lives in some way, and it's his brand. And I agree that even though as an anarchist I love talking about what anarchism as a political ideology actually is, the symbol does also have a common meaning in the world as just basically standing for anti-authoritarianism, and Louis as a guy who rejects authority and the status quo is nothing new at all and one of the reasons we love him, and in the last few years I feel like he's been going further in that direction both aesthetically and politically, and we love to see it! Plus he has pretty much always sported this slightly punky aesthetic to some degree, even when he was being dressed up like a little ken doll he snuck in skater looks and indie band tees and so forth (something something it's part of why his fanbase was so primed to love his new sound and it wasn't the risk he feared it was because people were always drawn to him who were already into that aesthetic even when his sound wasn't that yet) it's not like it's just a brand new out of nowhere side of him or something.

[shihalyfie]

Why do people like Saban dubbing digimon but really hate 4kids for dubbing anime?

To be honest, I don't think that's quite the case. I think most people who tend to have apologia-level worship of the Saban Digimon dubs also have similar sentiments towards 4Kids dubs. It's "my childhood", so it's sacred and you're not allowed to say anything bad about it.

That said, it is true that 4Kids is the one usually thrown under the bus to blame for radical dub changes while Saban is treated as "comparatively loyal (for the time)". This is misleading at best. If it's loyal for the time, it's by a very small margin, and certainly not enough to claim that it's "practically the same" as the Japanese version as many do.

Saban's Digimon dub looks closer to the original because all of the surface elements supposedly look closer:

They kept almost all of the names in Japanese and only gave them "nicknames", unlike other dubs that changed the names radically! (Except they functionally never mentioned those "nicknames" again after the first time, and no matter how many letters each name may share in common with their Japanese versions, that doesn't change the fact they treated most Japanese names like hot potatoes because they sound too Japanese.)

They left the setting in Japan instead of making it a fictional American city! (Except they tried to do that until the number of Tokyo landmarks made it too recognizable, and it's still something they were able to get away with because the Digital World is prominent enough in the narrative for them to not worry about it too much.)

They didn't cut any episodes! (Probably the only one that does hold legitimate water in comparison to 4Kids actually cutting entire episodes at times, but one also has to consider that Digimon is a heavily serialized narrative where dropping an episode would create serious problems for the story, whereas you could get away with a dropped episode from 4Kids' longer properties with filler episodes since more of their shows were based on manga.)

They didn't make any huge changes to the overall plot! (Almost nobody watched Adventure or 02 for the plot alone, and it's only natural that slowly changing every single line to suggest completely different characterizations from their Japanese counterparts would have a massive effect, especially on 02 where it didn't have an extremely linear in-your-face plot that offset that to some degree -- and even then, Adventure wasn't completely immune, because it didn't stop Koushirou and Mimi's Japanese characterization changes from still remaining relatively unknown in the English-speaking fandom.)

"The Digimon (American) English dub didn't change that much" is the biggest lie the fandom will ever feed you, yet it still persists to this day because people will look at these surface factors and call it a day (and even worse, because this myth persists, fewer people will be inclined to check it out in Japanese and confirm whether this is actually true or not). It's never been about how many actual changes there were; it's about how many were noticeable. Few people talk about how there's actually a significant difference in how dub changes were handled the moment Disney took over (late Tamers to Savers), because it's hard to notice unless you actually have seen the Japanese version. Fusion gets treated like a laughingstock dub just because people were actually able to watch it in Japanese first and see how much got changed later; in terms of actual changes, it's not that much worse than Adventure or 02, it's just that it happened during a time it was less socially acceptable to do that.

So because of that, Saban is seen in the lens of a localization company that did its best to be "loyal" in a market where the 4Kids method of drastic changes were more dominant, when in fact they were aggressive about it in different ways (and you can see a very fair share of derogatory, dangerously-racist-leaning comments about Japanese media, writing style, and content from people who were involved in Digimon localization, so it's frankly kind of absurd to imagine they were doing all of this because they cared so much about loyalty to the origin). On the flip side, it is on record that a lot of 4Kids' radical changes were actually requested by the Japanese side itself, because they themselves wanted to push something that would be appealing to the American market, and 4Kids would sometimes go as aggressive as they did specifically because they got the Japanese licensor's blessing to go as hard as they wanted.

(I actually personally prefer 4Kids' original music and theme songs to the Digimon ones -- they come off to me as feeling like they have a lot more genuine spirit put into them -- but that's just my personal subjective opinion, and everyone has their own music tastes. Anyway, that's a digression.)

I personally don't think it's productive to be mad at the dubs themselves. This was all more than 20 years ago, the market was very different, the attitude towards localization was different, Japanese companies had their own varying stakes in the situation, and most importantly, what happened happened and I'm not going to blame kids for watching the only thing that was accessible to them at the time and developing an attachment to it. I don't think there's any point to speculating how Digimon would have been accepted in the US/UK/etc. if it hadn't been changed so radically, because the fact is, we don't live in that alternate timeline, so we won't get anything useful out of fixating on that idea too much.

The only thing I have negative feelings about regarding the American English Digimon dub is, simply, the way the fandom still talks about it. With things like Pokémon or One Piece or Yu-Gi-Oh, where everyone already understands that 4Kids made super drastic changes, if you say you're talking about the Japanese version because what you're discussing wasn't in the dub, people will easily believe you and acknowledge you're talking about something different, but if you try to claim the Adventure or 02 dub was different enough to merit a distinction, you get called nitpicky or accused of being delusional. This is what I really wish would stop. The dub was different! I know localization discourse loves to conflate "different" with "bad", so people don't want to admit that their childhood dub changed a lot, but it did! That's reality! Please don't make this more frustrating to talk about than it needs to be!

[kimbureh]

In the past, I have sometimes watched series because mutuals I don't even really talk to blog about it. This way, I came to watch some interesting media. I watched the first two seasons of True Detective (worth it, especially the first), watched Chernobyl (whilst infuriatingly incorrect in places, I appreciate it as a piece of television), and now I started The Terror.

And The Terror has been a weird experience so far. For one, Jared Harris is in this one, too, and he basically plays the same role of a herald of warning like he did in Chernobyl (and seems generally prone to playing). But also, and here I might be biased since I watched Chernobyl right before, I expected a historic recount of the events. Not some... bear-dude fantasy horror. And it's incredibly off-putting. I tried to overcome my preconceptions and lean into the fantasy horror, but it's just so incredibly frustrating.

The Terror is about two British ships getting lost in the arctic. That's quite the setup, right? People fighting for survival in a place that, and I quote, "wants you dead". But apparently extreme circumstances and deadly cold aren't enough drama. Hollywood needs A Bad Guy. Therefore the crew is being haunted by a *literal* bear beast. Chernobyl applied this standard Hollywood narrative too, and ended up changing the historical facts to the degree of a blatant lie, but at least the Soviet Sense of Unity wasn't personified in some murderous bureaucrat that made everyone underestimate the radiation.

It's difficult to portray collective responsibility, and thanks to the US-influenced storytelling style we are primed to expect A Singular Bad Guy. But that's not how reality works, and therefore it's especially jarring to see this narrative device applied to real life events that are infinitely more complex than "this guy is to blame".

To Chernobyl's credit, the texts *tells* us there are more people to blame than those put on trial, even insinuates a systemic failure. But the the overwhelming majority of the series still *shows* us: look, these are the villains you've come to expect from a narrative.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not telling my partner that someone else had feelings for me?

This happened some 5-6 years back, so I'll be using the ages that applied when the situation was ongoing. I (19NB) had been in a relationship with Aiden (19NB he/him) for about a year when I realized that I had... some sort of feelings for a friend of mine, let's call them Gloria (24NB they/them). I am arospec, so I didn't really know how to define those feelings, but I knew that they extended beyond normal friendship feelings.

I sat down with Aiden and told him about these feelings, so as to be transparent, and he told me that he thought I just didn't have a lot of experience feeling safe with friends. I tried to insist that I didn't think that was the case here, but I was brushed off. I brought up the concept of queerplatonic feelings, but he said he thought I was trying to use labels that didn't apply because of my lack of experience in relationships. I dropped the subject. I also talked with Gloria, and they agreed that they felt the same way about me.

Fast forward a few months, and I felt pretty much the same way, but Gloria had realized that the feelings they had for me were more romantic in nature. I indicated that I wasn't comfortable with a romantic relationship, due to the fact that I didn't think Aiden would be okay with it, and I didn't think polyamory is something I had the bandwidth for. They indicated that this was fine for the time being.

I did not tell Aiden that Gloria had confessed their feelings for me. I did not want to have to choose between my partner and my best friend, and I knew that if I did that, Aiden would probably ask that I distance myself from them. I figured I would wait a little bit before telling him, because I didn't want him yelling at them, and maybe he would be less upset once the situation had cooled down a little bit.

...Apparently not, though, because a few days later, Gloria wrote a post on their public social media, tagging me directly, saying basically "I am in love with you". I panicked, and I commented something to the degree of "awww thanks bestie! i feel so flattered <3 love you! :)" to try to cement the idea of: I am not pursuing a relationship with you. You are my friend, but please stop.

A few hours later, Aiden texted me with a screenshot of the post and said something along the lines of "So, when were you going to tell me about this." I explained the situation, and he was extremely upset, because with the new information of "Gloria is in love with my partner", it colored our earlier conversation in a new light.

Aiden told me that he thought I hadn't tried hard enough to explain Gloria and I's feelings for each other. I told him that I had been 100% honest about my feelings, and that those feelings hadn't changed. He said that I should have told him about Gloria's feelings for me sooner.

He asked me if I wanted to be in a romantic relationship with Gloria, and I told him no--not right now, at least. I told him that, if I was being honest, I could see the potential for a romantic relationship, and that I could see myself wanting to date them if Aiden and I weren't a thing. However, at that point in time, I was committed to Aiden, and I didn't want to compromise that. After talking about it for a while, he told me that he could try polyamory if it would make me happy. I told him we didn't have to, but he insisted he wanted to give me the opportunity to try it.

A few months down the line, I did end up giving in and starting to date Gloria, which Aiden said he was fine with. I told him he didn't have to be, but he insisted he was. I had a suspicion he was not happy, but didn't try to press further, because I didn't want to accuse him of lying or start a problem where there wasn't one.

A couple of months in, he finally told me that, yes, he had been lying, and that he actually wasn't okay with it. I felt really bad, because I wouldn't have started dating Gloria if he had told me up front he wasn't okay with it, but now I was in this relationship, and didn't want to end it. Aiden and I ended up breaking up, and we haven't spoken in several years.

I already know that there are several points where I could have behaved better, or done something different. I know I really hurt Aiden back then, even if that wasn't my intent. I've told Gloria I feel guilty about how I handled that, but they told me that I was as honest about my feelings as I could have been, and that it's not my fault Aiden didn't take me seriously.

I still feel dirty when I think about it. Even though everything was TECHNICALLY above board (besides the few days where I knew Gloria was in love with me and didn't tell Aiden), it still feels like I cheated on him. AITA here?

What are these acronyms?

[antianakin]

What are your thoughts on the 2003 clone wars and its portrayal of the Jedi? I do think it’s a fun cartoon and does work as an episode 2.5. Anakin’s portrayal is closer to the movies than TCW which is either a positive or negative depending on whether you like him or not. We do get some badass moments from Mace Windu and Fordo but the clones are portrayed as flesh droids with only Cody and Fordo having a bit more personality. One thing I don’t like is how it’s propped up by the anti Jedi, dudebro side of the fandom and is used to claim the Jedi don’t care about the clones. It does have a great moment with Barriss and Luminara, though.

So I've only seen like 30-50% of this show because I started watching it back when it was on YouTube a few years ago and then something was weird with one of the videos and it felt like it skipped a large number of episodes or they didn't work or something and I wasn't invested enough to keep trying to find it or to go back now that I have access to D+. All of which means my opinion of this show isn't the MOST informed it could be. Please take my opinions on this show with a grain of salt if that bothers you.

I think that the 2003 Clone Wars is relatively flat as a show, it's not intended to be that deep of an exploration of any of the characters and certainly not of the Jedi or the clones, so trying to see it that way feels like an exercise in futility to begin with. TCW on the other hand, despite its terrible episodic structure, IS sometimes trying to go for deeper explorations of the characters, the Jedi, the clones, and the situation they are currently in. 2003 Clone Wars often represented the battles as fun adventures and nowhere is this easier to see than in the Mon Cala episode with Kit Fisto which was directly adapted into TCW as a full four episode arc. The 2003 version is silly, full of little explosions and Kit Fisto just throwing off his cape very dramatically. The 2008 version starts with an assassination, it introduces a more nuanced political situation between the Mon Cala and the Quarrens, it has a whole coming-of-age story with Lee Char, it gets a little darker with its shark villain and what he's willing to do, and it brings in the Gungans as a legitimate army again. And I feel like that's just a fairly good representation of how 2003 Clone Wars treated its characters and its stories in comparison to how other media has treated the same characters and stories of this time period.

I wasn't that big of a fan of how this show represented Obi-Wan and Anakin either, especially Anakin. I think they leaned REALLY hard into Anakin as the whiny teenager, to an even greater degree than AOTC did in many ways, which just continues to make it unbelievable that he gets Knighted. The entire Knighting ceremony moment was ridiculous because Obi-Wan comes up to talk to him about how he's being promoted to Knight because of his maturity and Anakin immediately refuses to let him finish because he assumes Obi-Wan is coming to criticize him for something and he just starts getting really childish and unkind about it, to the point that he literally is insulting Obi-Wan and throwing Qui-Gon in his face as a comparison. And somehow Obi-Wan STILL thinks he's ready to be a Knight after that interaction, and it's... so so bad. I genuinely really hate the way 2003 Clone Wars handled Anakin's Knighting.

I don't love the way it portrayed Obi-Wan and Anakin in the earlier episodes I saw where Anakin's still a Padawan, there's nothing positive about their relationship. Obi-Wan is just an overbearing nag and Anakin is a childish asshole and there's zero nuance to them beyond that. Even Lucas realized they needed to have some positive moments added in to ensure viewers realized that these two characters were friends who enjoyed each other's company. Just because they struggle sometimes doesn't mean they don't care about each other and the best way to make sure that gets across is to make sure they HAVE positive moments together. The episodes of 2003 Clone Wars that I saw absolutely failed at that.

And when Anakin isn't being a childish asshole, he was being portrayed as basically no better than an animal, which I assume is supposed to represent his darkness starting to grow or something. But it's not some sort of animal instinct turning him into a slobbering beast who can't really control himself, these are active choices Anakin makes out of fear that he allows to become anger. TCW focused a lot more on the anger than the fear, but what I saw of 2003 Clone Wars didn't really handle this well, either. It's a theme that a lot of people who write for Star Wars seem to miss, that Anakin is actively making these choices WHILE KNOWING THAT THEY'RE BAD CHOICES. That's honestly the whole point and trying to pretend that he isn't, that it's out of his control, or that it's some sort of destiny, misses the entire message being sent with his story.

Also whoever designed Anakin seems to have had a pretty major bias against Hayden Christensen because boy is the model for Anakin absolutely fuck ugly for no good reason.

I don't know that there was anything actively anti-Jedi in anything I saw in the 2003 Clone Wars show, but it was also just kind-of intended to be a pretty simple adventure show that didn't allow for a lot of time to explore anything with any real depth.

I don't hate it, but I don't love it, either. I know a ton of people really have a lot of nostalgia for it and I don't mind the episodes in a vacuum, they CAN be fun mindless little visual stories, but I also never think about it much and I have a lot of negative feelings about the way it handled Anakin. But again, I only saw SOME of this show and never finished it, so my opinion is based on what I DID see and doesn't take into account some of the later episodes I never got to.

[its-a-branwen-thing]

Just the Way You Are

This volume of RWBY isn't one that I've felt like writing a ton about. It's existed as a bit of background noise to my weekends, a must watch but in passing. It was a wonderful journey, but not as impactful as I thought it should be to me. It hit all the right marks. Well-written, well-animated, great music. It wasn't until the finale, where I was reminded, again, of why I loved this show in the first place.

I've been seeing an outpouring of love for V9 that seemed to spur a re-examination of it as a series, in both what RWBY means to fans and what Ruby means to the audience. This whole volume she's been a proxy facing the show's vocally decried imperfections: for what the could have beens and should have beens keep saying. In Ruby's own personal doubt, we see the seeds of the show's very own history of grappling with fan expectations, critical analysis, commercial success, and the complicated legacy of the tragic passing of the show's creator.

But CRWBY's love for this volume is so evident it seemed to drown out any bad faith arguments: this is RWBY as it was always meant to be.

In finishing this volume, I see once more that fiction can help us suture the parts of us that seep. That its creators are people we may never know but whose ideas we stitch into the membranes of our core. RWBY doesn't have to be a masterpiece emerging fully formed from the minds of its writers and animators. It is a vision expanded upon, a messy beginning built up, a work of surfeit love, flawed and lovely in the mess.

As a perfectionist I tend to chase that critical clout, to draw from external sources the meaning of my own art, to wonder if the interpretations are good enough, if the writing and characters are done with enough mastery that I can succeed in other's eyes. But RWBY will never be a success to some, and in that we see that even the most collectively beloved things are criticized by their detractors. We will never create a bulletproof thing.

Life is exposure. Love is vulnerability and art in service to that love - of self, of others, of vision - exacts the same toll of knowing. Even against the diatribes on Youtube that have stated otherwise, RWBY's heart is worn on its sleeve. It is a show fully sure of its sincerity. This volume seems meant to present that to us and to Ruby, as a character. She has always been the heart of the show. Pursuant of hope in the face of insurmountable odds, always picking up the pieces of others, always with the weight of the world on her shoulders. But, at her core, she has always been a simple, more honest soul.

RWBY and Ruby have faced failure after perceived failure. Ruby always tried hard but never quite got it and now, in the sea of her doubt and the under the current of others' expectations, she sees herself as less than. As incapable of serving the people she loves most. Ruby's fear of failure does not come from her need to be beloved, it doesn't come from a selfish interest in public opinion, but rather from a stalwart need to do what she believes in.

RWBY has long been the scruffy underdog of the animation world, an easy little show to poke fun at. This isn't to say that critiquing is inherently bad faith, or that there's no place for it. There is, and there always will be things that irk or bother us to some degree with every piece of media we consume. But, much like the people we love in our lives, those imperfections are part of them, and we can either take them as is and have faith enough that they'll grow just as we do, that their center is good and worth it, or we can simply let them go.

Choose for yourself one who can leave your burdens behind, or chose one who can be enough to bare them.

There's something to be said about the moral simplicity of a show like RWBY, in which things don't always work out, but in which the characters have enough faith in themselves, and the world, to still seek to save it. This is a fairytale, but it is one that hopes to impart on reality a little bit of that kindness.

It is wholly intentional that RWBY is thus stylized as a children's fairytale. It lacks the tonal shift of grit and anger that adulthood seems to impart on innocence, and posits that: no, you don't need to be anything else, even if others decry that self as naive or emotional or exposed. There is a beauty to RWBY's vulnerability and it's always been there, baked into the show itself.

V9 feels like a love letter to RWBY as a whole. It has always been a show set on positivity, on pursing that goodness at all costs. RWBY does not partake in the labor of being something else more gritty or mature or indifferent. It is what it's always been.

A simple, more honest show.

[sarnai4]

College Days (and career plans)

After seeing a really fun Yona of the Dawn AU fanart with the characters in college, I started thinking about the Dragons crew.

Hiccup: Engineering. He's going to become an inventor and has already done some of that. He'll probably have his own company after graduation that makes just about everything. Need a replacement limb? Phone? Cylindrical item that will lead you to various reptiles and the journey of a lifetime? He's got you covered on all fronts. If it can be built, it will be.

Astrid: Law enforcement. She's eventually going to a police academy (cue the movie of the same name), so she wants to be prepared. She'll become a police captain in the future. It'll be very obvious why crime rates are plummeting in whatever city she's in.

Fishlegs: Zoology. He's always been into science, so he's going to become a zoologist to study animals all over the world. He absolutely loves his work and probably brings a few creatures home to study for a little longer before taking them back to the lab.

Snotlout: Drama. He's planning on becoming an actor. His work as Sir Ulgerthorpe has convinced me that he at least could be good on a stage. Plus, he's a drama queen. Maybe he'll get on the screen one day too. He's also considering if he wants to try out screenwriting and/or directing eventually. If he does become a director, he'll be one of the best and most bossy somehow.

Ruffnut: Digital communication and media/multimedia. She's honestly not here for any reason other than it's where Tuffnut and their friends are. That said, the twins are going to become YouTubers, so she figures she might as well become good at making videos.

Tuffnut: Crafts. He missed how Ruffnut's idea will actually be useful in their future job and thought this sounded fun. His reasoning is that he'll make some cool crafts to show off to their viewers. He's probably right, but there are still a dozen sighs directed his way because of this choice.

Dagur: Undecided. He's gone through business to see if he wanted to be an entrepreneur, then wasn't sure if he should just go to an entrepreneurship degree, had a few in between, and the latest one was psychology to try to understand his mind. At this point, he's hoping he sticks with something long enough to graduate on time with the credits. Can't say he isn't getting a well-rounded education, though. Just don't even get him started on career plans. He figures that he'll teach martial arts to pay for bills until he comes up with an idea he can keep for longer than a month.

Heather: Music. She's going to become a singer and probably be a vocal and guitar teacher later on. She's the only member of the group who we've heard sing and not sound bad (minus Snotlout surprisingly in my opinion. Oi oi oi), so I can see her doing this. She's not planing on being some superstar or anything. Just most likely at some venues and on YouTube, so maybe Ruffnut's new skills can help out.

Mala: Doctor of medicine for surgery. She's in the doctoral program (because I'm convinced she is a nice amount of years older than the others) and going to become a surgeon. This is something she's wanted to do for a while since she enjoys healing people. Meeting the others made her want to do this even more since she's sure at least one of them is going to be in a terrible accident one day and will need a good surgeon. Her bet is on Hiccup, the twins, or Dagur.

Throk: Criminal justice. He's already graduated, but he is receiving specialized training to become a body guard. When he gets free time, he comes around to spend time with the others. He's part of the bet with Mala and bets that Ruffnut will NOT need a surgeon because there's no way he's allowing such harm to come to her.

Atali: Women's studies. She's going to run a women's shelter when she graduates. She is also considering getting a master's.

Minden: Physical education. She's following her bestie and going to teach self-defense to the women Atali helps out.

(bonus)

Gobber: Welding engineering. He loved this in his university days and started up his own company. This is how he got Hiccup into making things too.

Stoick: Political science. He joined the marines when he was younger and became a high-ranking officer before coming back home to care for Hiccup.

Johann: Law. He became a slimy lawyer who always gets the really dangerous criminals off and puts away innocent people.

Viggo: Economics. He wanted to be very shrewd with his spending. He owns a company that seems like it's a tech manufacturing company on the outside but is actually smuggling a bit of everything.

Ryker: Criminology. He did this to understand just what risks the criminals who work for/with him could face. He works for Viggo (because of course he does) and is the VP of the business.

Krogan: Business management. On the outside, it seems like he's got a weapons manufacturing company, but he uses it to work with the Grimborns and hurt people.

[theeccentricraven]

My Writing Journey

I'm still writing my NaNoWriMo Novel in late March, with April right around the corner. Almost 200,000 words now.

How did I get here?

I chose to be a writer when I was eleven. By the time I was eighteen, I had three incomplete novels, a thick packet of writing notes, and a long list of story ideas I wanted to write before I died. I also had a short attention span that I can blame on my ADHD and ASD, a declining love for reading due to required school reading, and competition with distractions like the internet/social media. I was able to devote a good deal of my spare time on my prize WIP, a unique fantasy titled The Keeper of Maralla. I didn't spend as much time writing as I should have. My writing confidence was low. After I earned my first bachelor's degree in Child Development, several amazing things happened. First, I worked briefly as a custodian (aka janitor or caretaker depending on what part of the world you're in) when I got the idea for my current primary WIP, The Blood Cleaners. At that time, I thought TBC would be an urban fantasy. A few years later, I realized the story worked best as a post-apocalyptic dystopia. I personally feel that you don’t find the stories; the stories find you. Such was the case with TBC. Then, in 2008, I won my first NaNoWriMo when I wrote the first draft of The Star House Club, an MG/YA urban fantasy. It meant the world to me when I finally had a complete novel in my hands, even if the writing was really bad. My next complete novel was finished in 2009, a Christian historical fiction novel called Miriam and Yosef. Then, from 2010 to 2011, I wrote my first really long novel, my sci-fi first contact story called Columbus Day. It was 170,000 words long! The best part was when I wrote my first complete second draft by rewriting Columbus Day. I saw how rewriting really can make things better, even if only a little better. It was also at this time that I earned my second bachelor's degree. I earned my post-baccalaureate degree in English. Then, things kind of shattered. I lost all of my confidence in my writing. I almost gave up completely. I also stopped reading. I've learned that the less you read, the worse your writing is. I went nearly a decade without reading and writing. There were some pluses that happened during that time, such as getting a technical writing job with my current employer. For the most part, I had little ambition and few goals. That was until early 2023, I experienced some epiphanies. I went through some religious/spiritual experiences that allowed me to realize I was meant to be a writer. I needed to get my ideas down on paper before I died or else the world would never know them. I opened up my old writing notes to get to work. I thought about which of my WIP's I would make my primary WIP. It was hard when I felt passionate about a half dozen of them, knowing I would regret failing to finish and publish either. I was hit hard with reality when insomnia hit me. I had been in denial about my need to read. Just as I had to get back to writing, I had to get back to reading. I wanted to say I had read enough and needed to spend time writing. When I discovered reading was the best medicine for insomnia, I realized what I needed to do for both my physical health and writing health. I read about 15 books in 2023. The more I read, the better my writing got. My best read was Scott Westerfeld’s Uglies, a book that reminded me of why I love the dystopia genre. By July, I made the decision to focus on The Blood Cleaners. I spent four months brainstorming and outlining. I began drafting in November for NaNoWriMo. I wrote 50,000 words in 30 days, but the story wasn't over. That brings me to where I am now. My manuscript is almost 200,000 words long. I hope to finish in the next few days. I can’t wait to rewrite and cut this thing. Writing is hard, but it's worth it. My journey isn't over, obviously. I can’t wait to see where this journey goes.

[rihabe]

hello! ♥

hiiii everyoneeee i am not new, this is carly, (bejoomi/benayoung) back with that new muse i was talking about when i dropped ahyoung, may she rest in piece. i believe riha is the girl muse that has Spoken To Me the most of any girl i've ever had, so i have high hopes of her sticking around and also breathing some much needed new life into my time rping! third time for a third muse is the charm right 😭

here is miss riha's about page that has everything you could hope to know about her! tbh i think some things have changed since i made it so i will be...reviewing it and updating it shortly. i'll give some info about her and some plot ideas under the cut as well, so defer to this for now! please like this if you'd like to plot w riha ♥ tyty i am excited!

ABOUT

riha was born in seoul, '00 liner, softest scorpio you will ever meet

she has an older brother and younger sister. her mom started having kids quite young. her dream was to become a musician but she had to give it up to be a Mom (and also a waitress, get that money etc etc)

riha's dad is a pro football (soccer) player, he was up and coming when she was born but is quite popular now

her family was actually normal for the most part [gasp] dad was a bit absent because he was more interested in his career but he wasn't a bad guy

riha's maternal grandparents took care of the kids a lot but grandma passed away when riha was quite young and didn't rly understand what was going on

dad put all the kids into Active Things as early as he could and mom fell in love with a Sports Guy so she was all for it too

riha got put in ballet but her brother was in Rough Sports and riha was like no. i wanna do that. if i bite one of the girls in my dance class will it prove i'm tough enough for soccer

eventually the parentals relented and bitch was and is so indecisive she tried Everything

she liked soccer most but ended up playing tennis, volleyball, and swimming most bc #misogyny

she was very friendly growing up, did quite well in school, but wasn't Spectacular u know

she really came into her own in high school when she tried out for the volleyball team and got on and became absolutely obsessed w it

she got her First Real Boyfriend in her second year and they were like The Real Deal and way more mature and deep than your average high school rls

riha loved him but then she got a crush on a girl eventually and had a meltdown because it Hit Different u know. The Lesbianism....

it wasn't until her last year of hs that she finally told her bf and broke up with him she was actually so heartbroken over it she cried so much but she told him everything (and that she is a lesbian) and he was an angel and understanding but clearly devastated and that made it worse

so riha decided to be very mature and run away <3 to uni in california KJLDLKJJKLDG

she was like hi my parents this school's volleyball team is very good and well known and they have a good kinesiology program i think this would be a great opportunity for me (:

and they were like ok sweetie if that's what you want to do

so she did it

with the power of english classes and gossip girl on her side she loved it there. and she made it onto the volleyball team but also played beach volleyball. probably got a crush on her beach volleyball partner. gay ass

she spent a lot of time on social media to keep in touch w people back in sk but also got into Fandom Twitter and she's a hot mess so her account was also a mess. her interests are everywhere. but she also made friends everywhere!

( illness tw ) in her last year of uni her mom got cancer and riha almost dropped out to go home and support her but her mom insisted she finish her degree so she did

and once she graduated went home asap

( death tw ) her mom ended up passing away last year, her health deteriorated pretty quickly once riha got back to korea

after her mom died she had no idea what to do with her life because she still loved sports but didn't know how to make that her career and he could go back to school and become a physical therapist or a pe teacher or something blah blah blah

but it didn't take her long to decide that she actually wanted to achieve her mom's dream of being a musician to honor her

in the meantime tho she's a personal trainer at her local gym! and she might pick up some other jobs too we'll see.

she is pretty much a Music Newbie, she learned how to play guitar from her mom and she always loved music but was never a singer or anything

she decided to go down the kpop path because becoming an indie musician or whatever seemed way more overwhelming than becoming a trainee LMAO like "ok all i have to do is get signed to a company and they'll teach me everything right???"

she is still a sports girlie. catch her at the gym even when she's not working but also on the tennis courts and at the pool and probably in a volleyball league and

she got a dog AND a motorcycle after her mom died to cheer herself up LMAO but it helped! she loves miso (the dog) and the unnamed motorcycle because she cannot decide on a name for it even though it's been a year or something

PLOT IDEAS

her ex bf. will be very picky about this but would love to have the plot!!

in the same vein, the first girl she got a crush on that gave her a crisis. this is more open but still important

i haven't said exactly where she went to school in cali so anyone that went to uni there, they could've gone to the same uni!

people she's played sports with. tennis doubles partner, co-ed kickball team, person that is annoyed because she somehow always manages to beat them to the best lane in the pool, etc

people she's training at the gym??

she can physically fight people. she is a 4th degree taekwondo black belt so maybe she absolutely kicked a guy's ass for you one time or something

alternatively you're obsessed w her bc she has a motorcycle and could probably be a stunt double she is a badass tbh

alternatively she is obsessed with you because you're a cute girl but it probably only lasts for five minutes because she's wishy-washier than mr clean

maybe a guy that she also thinks is really cute and is really fond of to give her ANOTHER crisis because she's not 100% confident in her lesbianism. it be like that sometimes....will also be picky about this but it would be fun!

she loves clubbing and somehow always ends up taking care of some drunk girl in the bathroom so there's that

she's a casual gamer too! but she's also very competitive! so it's like, she'll play once a week but depending on the game she'll get super into it and intense about it and then be like that was fun (: afterward. so fellow gamers? she's not that good tbh

would love for her to get mansplained to at the gym or something. and she can just be like wow thanks (: actually you're wrong abt that one thing u said teehee

plots related to her puppy miso!

she also runs and stuff so running partners, ppl she always sees on her running route, etc

okay i'm sure you've had enough of me now. oh my god. ok. please plot w me i'd be happy to brainstorm anything 🫶