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greyfix · 11 months ago

Text

Children

Title: Children

Ship: Keith Kogane/Lance McClain

Summary: Keith and Lance are children with the weight of the world on their shoulders. At only 16 and 17 years old these children were made Paladins of Voltron, Blades of Marmora, Saviors of the Universe. Those weren’t titles meant for children.

Word Count:6.1k

Requested By: n/a

Warnings/Tags: Angst, Fluff, Unresolved Emotional Tension, Pining Lance, Lance is a mess, Insecure lance, Galra Keith, Keith is bad at feelings, Keith is a mess, Blade of Marmora Keith, Blade of Marmora, Naxzela, pining keith.

Author’s Note: listen, i know i never write anymore. But, shit happens you know?

I’m taking requests and commissions again though so hopefully that will change, i have menus posted on my linktree. You can Instagram message me ( @greyfixx ) or email me ([email protected]) and i’d be happy to write your stories. Thanks guys!

Ao3, Tumblr

Lance wanders the castleship often now. He spends much more time walking around aimlessly than doing anything productive that’s for sure. Hunk and Pidge seemed as though they were always making some revolutionary advances. Always inventing something or tweaking something. Lance could never keep up.

Allura seems as though she always has some diplomatic stuff to tend to with Shiro. If you asked Lance, he’d tell you that’s just an excuse so they can do whatever they do when they're alone. Plus, hanging out with Shiro is like, well it is, hanging out with your commanding officer. It’s hard for me to be comfortable. He would hang out with Coran sometimes, helping with some of the castle maintenance. It almost reminded him of being back home doing the chores. He never thought chores would be something he missed.

Still, when the lonely day was done, he had to return to the cold sterile room. It was so lifeless. Despite the trinkets he’d collected from his travels strewn around the room, the lived in clutter, it still didn’t feel like his room, no matter how hard he tried. Pictures weren’t as prominent in space, he’d noticed, at least not hard copies or for decoration in general. I guess they went completely digital a long time ago. So it wasn’t common for one to have photos of their family hung up around their homes. He wonders if people keep photos of their families outside of earth, or if it isn’t something people generally care about? For Lance, who’d spent his whole life surrounded by his siblings, it was so terribly lonely. Almost like living in a hospital room that never had a visitor.

So he slept in his cold white bed with his thin sheets and flat pillows. He wore his thin pajamas and the unreasonably comfy castle bathrobe. This was his new normal. His new home. He’s always been so grateful for his family, the original one, and the new ones he had created along the way. That’s what made him so sad, that he had a whole family here and he still felt alone.

It wasn’t always like this. Lance suspected that they didn’t really have enough time to worry about it as things changed. Now, between battles, there is silence. What does the silence hold for the soldiers in the war? These are the thoughts that plagued Lance as he fell asleep.. There weren’t many sweet dreams on the other side of the unconscious curtain waiting for him.

This is how he had felt since Keith had left. On the outside they seemed to be all bitter arguments, competitive bravado, and rivalry. They both knew though, that on the inside, they were closer than anyone else on the team. And that was their business. Their banter was just that, banter. It only takes a little bit of care to see the flirting smiles and friendly wrestling through the veil. When the fighting is done and it’s time for the brains behind the scenes, Keith and Lance learned to stay out of the way. They weren’t geniuses, or commanders, or Royalty. This wasn’t their job.

Each evening he spends longing for the company he wishes he had. He wishes for just one night things could be back the way they were. He wishes that if he does have to be lonely, he shouldn’t have to be the only one. . He considers it. He also considers the embarrassment of it. Calling the Blade of Marmora Headquarters to talk to his friend because he misses him? They’ll laugh and hang up. Probably give Keith shit for it, and i don’t want to mess things up for him. We’re soldiers. We’re supposed to be doing more with our time than talking to our friends on secure military lines.

He accepts his fate.

Though it may be silent between battles, for those who are much more than soldiers it was time to make a lot of noise.. Building a good public image. Recruiting to the cause. Diplomacy, gaining allies. Creating a Coalition.. Coran had them traveling to a new planet each and every day putting on shows and meeting people. Selling Voltron.

It wasn’t a big deal in the beginning. Just a script reading here and there, and Lance always loved Drama as a kid, so he was more than happy to comply. It felt like filming a cheesy TV commercial, and it was fun. Over time, as the audience got larger and larger, Coran got more intense. Their characters became perverted versions of themselves. Lance was now “Loverboy Lance.” He was nothing but a good looking airhead. There wasn’t anything more to him than his ability to get laid everywhere he goes. Because that’s all it takes to be a Paladin of Voltron, apparently.

Coran had become increasingly erratic. He’s talking differently, and twitches everywhere he goes. He’s taking dangerous risks, not only with diplomacy but with their safety.

Lance was starting to believe that that’s who he was. Maybe he is the only one who hasn’t noticed yet. He isn’t anything but who they believe he is. Loverboy. What is a loverboy without love? Just a boy. Just a boy in a play. Just a boy with the weight of the world in his universe. Just a boy. Alone. In a hospital room.

When Lance realized that the pressure of being a part of this war drove Coran to believe he needed a brain worm to do the right thing or to be good enough. Coran, the purest being on this ship, resorted to drugs to be as good as everyone else. Lance knew he was lonely too. He wanted it to stop, because though he didn’t care too much about himself, he certainly cared about his family.

So Lance grew angry. He was so angry all the time that his family was diminished into nothing but comic book characters. His best friend is depicted as nothing other than comedic flatulence. Pidge rendered a fraud who uses fake words. They aren’t recognized as the amazing scientists they truly are. They should be. Keith. He made Keith all angry and lonely. Can’t he see, that’s not who Keith is.

Keith has raw power and talent. He’s the potential to do something amazing for the world. He’s an anomaly and he is so important. There is no one more important than him.

Lance is the one filled with anger and sadness and loneliness.

Keith is hopeful.

And things keep piling on. He is lonely. He is sad. He is angry. And Hope is gone.

Laying on his gurney in his cold hospital room, in his magical alien castle, Lance picked up his space tablet and dialed the space number for the secret space soldiers.

DIAL

Lance called the Blade of Marmora’s direct communications line.

“State your Business.” Spoke a dark gravelly voice.

“I’m Lance, Blue Paladin of Voltron. I’m calling to speak to Keith Kogane? The red Paladin of Voltron?” He was shaking. This is pathetic. How could he be doing this right now, there’s no way Keith would want to talk to him. He’s probably got a bunch of new muscle-y galra friends.

“Should I provide you with his direct communications line?”

Lance froze for a moment. Why wouldn’t he be able to call Keith? Why would the Blade stop him from communicating with his Paladins? That would be ridiculous. “Um yeah, yes please, that would be great, um, yeah.” He stammered out in rapid succession.

He rattles off a bunch of numbers and symbols that Lance makes sure to write down before speaking again. “Will that be all?”

“Um yes, thank you so–”

Beep.

He hung up on me!!

Once he got over the scandal that was the rudeness of what could only be referred to as the ‘galra receptionist,’ he sat in silence for a while. He stared at the string of numbers and symbols. “Keith’s Direct Communications line.” He doesn’t really know what stopped him from getting it before.

It wasn’t long before he typed the number into his tablet.

!0070/01812/12-12! → DIAL

He hit the flashing dial button before he could talk himself out of it.. Inter-Galaxy phone calls didn’t have a dial tone like on earth. There’s a loading screen. If the person you’re calling hasn’t answered by the time the circle is filled, the signal will be canceled and the call will drop. Messages can be sent as well but it wasn’t customary to have your tablet on you at all times, as it would be with a phone on earth. It’s more like having an I-Pad instead of a phone. If you really wanted a response it was best to call.

The circle is barely filled in when the screen explodes in color. It was Keith. His brows furrowed and lips pursed for a moment, until his eyes widened and his teeth showed. He smiled. That wasn’t at all what Lance was expecting.

“Hey, Keith. It’s been a minute.” His voice wavers as he speaks.

“No shit! Is everything okay? You’ve never called before-” he started to look concerned again.

“No! No not at all…” He trailed off. He knew if he said this he would never hear the end of it, but he didn’t want to start the call on such a negative note. He went with what can be interpreted positively.. “I missed you man. It’s lonely around here when you’re gone.”

Keith laughed. When he caught Lance’s eyes and realized that he wasn’t smiling with him, his face dropped. “You don’t mean that?”

“Of course I do. Everyone here is so much smarter and more important than me. I hang around on my own most of the time.”

“I thought I was supposed to be the lone wolf. You’re usually a social butterfly.”

“Everyone’s so busy I don't want to bother them.”

“Well I haven't changed from my lonely ways, so you must annoy me like the butterfly you are.”

“...What?” Lance held back his laughter.

“Shut up.”

“The butterfly I am.” The smile seeped through and before he knew it the both of them had dissolved into hysterics.

“Shut up. I missed you too. I don’t exactly fit in here.”

Before Keith could get another ‘shut up’ out Lance teased,“Are you sure it isn’t just because you aren’t purple?”

“I’m pretty sure that was a little bit space racist.”

Lance gasped.

They talked for hours upon hours. They smiled and laughed until they felt their cheeks go raw and their abs get sore. They talked until their faces turned stoick and they had run out of good things to talk about. They talk until things get serious, and then they keep talking.

Keith tells Lance how he feels worthless because he has always been a prodigy at the things the BoM excel at. The things that Earth doesn’t hold as honor the way the Galra do. Now, he’s nothing special.

Lance tells Keith how he feels like he’s been deluding himself into thinking he belongs. He tells him how he doesn’t believe he’s a true Paladin, and that he’s probably just a placeholder for him or Allura. That the persona that the public has for him as ‘Loverboy’ is so entirely impossible because the only person he loves is so far away that he can’t even tell him that every day.

They talk about how lonely they are. And they promise each other that though things can never be perfect, they will always keep each other company.

However, as many hours as they wish they could spend together, everything comes to an end. Keith has private training early in the mornings and the Castleship will be landing in a different timezone. So for Lance, first thing in the morning is about 4 in the afternoon (If you think about earth time, measurements are fine and dandy in altean, but dates are hell.) and he has to go straight to a diplomatic dinner party.

They say their goodbyes, and part with smiles on their faces.

When Lance turns over on his bed, his pillow is wet until the morning. Or 4 O’Clock in the alien planet’s evening He wakes up sore from his hiccupping breaths and dry from the salt on his skin.

Keith on the other hand forces himself to fall asleep immediately. When he wakes up he throws himself into training. He doesn’t apologize to himself or anyone else for the extra bruises he cost that morning. Anyone who spoke to him was met with a scathing comment about their mother. Most stood clear of him that day.

That night was too good to be true.

They spend months in this circle of suffering. Each day they would spend in anticipation of the joy they would feel when they saw each other. By the time they are able to get on the phone, they can’t stop smiling.

The joy lasts for a while. For a few hours. But every night the call has to end. Every night they have to say goodbye again. Every night they come crashing down from their high. They are hit with the weight of the various crises and the pressure only increases with the added emotions. At the end of the call, they have to say goodbye. Every night.

And I can't even say I Love You.

For Lance, the worst part is that no one noticed. He spent his days finally in a better mood, and his friends weren’t phased. It was such a dramatic change, how could a friend not notice the smiles that had grown so scarce. How could they not notice the bags under his eyes were gone, and he was no longer covered in bruises from his early morning training bot sessions. He felt so much better yet to his friends it was as though nothing had changed. Or they didn’t care to notice.

The Blade of Marmora was absolutely baffled by Keith’s change. Though Keith was much better at hiding it, he had learned in his months spent with the Blade that Galra rely on their sense of smell for this kind of thing much more than they would rely on their interpretation of body language. Pheromones change and there is nothing you can do about it. The Galra use it to communicate, though generally in passing the smell is like hearing the hum of conversation in a large crowd.

He didn't notice it at first. He thought he was imagining the stares he could feel grazing the back of his neck. It took one of the other people in his training group giving him shit to realize it.

“You need to learn how to keep your scent under control..”

“... What?”

“You’re scent. We can all tell you’re excited or anticipating, or whatever, you don’t need to broadcast it, have a little control.”

“What do you mean by my scent? You’re sniffing me??”

“Dude what?”

“I have no clue what you’re talking about.”

“Ha ha very funny. Just keep it to yourself man.””

“Seriously, I have no clue what you’re talking about. I’m a little bit concerned because on earth we don’t exactly make a habit of smelling each other.””

“Earth?”

“Yeah? Haven’t you noticed I'm not exactly purple?”

“I mean, yeah, but I didn't realize you were from the middle of nowhere. I’ve never even heard of that country.”

“It’s a planet.”

Keith could tell that he is holding back his laughter now.

“The Empire hasn’t gotten as far as my planet yet, so I didn't know I was part galra until very recently.

“I don’t know if i’m the person to explain it to you, i don’t have the greatest understanding of it myself either.”

“Just tell me before someone else does.”

“I think it’s like pheromones? We can smell the hormones and the smell changes with your emotions.”

Keith sighed, before stalking back off to his room. This was the first time he contacted Lance during the day.

Keith: I just found out galra can sense pheromones.

Lance: You wut?

Keith: Apparently depending on our emotions we smell different.

Lance: Can you? Smell emotions?

Keith: I never thought about it. I definitely smell a lot more than humans can. One of the Blades told me that most galra learn to control it. Maybe humans don’t emit strong enough pheromones for me to smell.

Lance: Is it like, rude to have emotions?

Keith: I wouldn’t be surprised. Galra never seemed like a race of emotionally sensitive people.

There were invisible boundaries. To keep them from having too much hope, too much happiness. At first the boundary was just speaking to each other in general, because of course they couldn’t be happy together if they weren’t together.

Lance, evidently, broke that one. Keith wished it were never there in the first place.

Keith was the one to break the next boundary and Lance was overjoyed. He kept his tablet on him at all times, though he was careful not to let anyone see. He wanted to keep this to himself. Just for now.

Each time he got a message from Keith, he had to force himself to not smile. It was becoming a problem. At least for a while.

Soon, not only were the nights terrible, but the days became just as painful. The light drains out of the both of them as they no longer spend their days in excitement to speak to each other but in increasing agony over their distance. Their feelings for eachother grow larger and stronger. So strong that every moment they aren’t allowed to feel it hurts more.

They lose the time to talk. The war is becoming back to back battles once again. Manpower is needed more than ever so not only is Voltron busy, but so is the Blade. The Coalition is a lot, but there is only so much. It’s difficult to organize universe wide diplomatic meetings, even for Allura.

The lows that follow leaving each other bleed into the days when no time can be found to speak. They bleed into the days where all that can be spoken of us ugly. The days of war. Of death. Of sacrifice. The days where the fight for freedom goes on and the soldiers grow weary.

Still the same problems prevailed. Lance’s turmoil continued to go unnoticed. He continued to be invisible in his own home amongst his own family.

Keith longed for his family. For Lance. He wished he could be with them. He wished so hard that it was very apparent to anyone who had a sense of smell worth their salt knew. He was now considered a flight risk. This he scoffed at. As if I’d leave all of you to die just to go home. That’s the catch. His love for his family and his refusal to allow lives to be lost to an empire as vial as Zarkons. He won’t abandon the war, not even for his own happiness.

Then the day comes. There is a planet called Naxzela. It’s primarily a military outpost for the empire. If the Coalition is able to take and free Naxzela from Empire control, they will have gained control of a third of the Galran Empire.

The entire Coalition is gathered, doing their best to stop the Empire, around a planet called Naxzela. They fight with everything they have. Every second, someone dies. Every second a ship falls from the sky, not only on their side, but on the Coalition's side as well.

Voltron is on that planet. Keith’s family is on that planet. Lance is on that planet. Keith fights harder. Another ship drops from the sky. Another. Another. Another. Another.

Voltron returns. Alive. That’s the good news though, an when it comes to war, it never outweighs the bad. They come back with information. They say the planet had been habitable only because of Altean terraforming technology. Haggar had tapped into this technology and turned the planet into a bomb. The battleship is the detonator. Both the planet and the ship are protected by shields.

The whole Coalition opens fire.

Not a scratch.

“Maybe not with our weapons.”

Keith takes off, dodging the lasers he soars directly towards the battleship. If our weapons can’t take down the shields, we need something more. The full force of a Blade of Marmora fighter ship just might work.

If i don’t succeed we will all die. At least this way only one of us is gone. At least this way the pain will go away.

He didn’t close his eyes as he approached his death. He wasn’t afraid. He knew this was the right thing to do. He chose this, he would not shy away from it. So he looked right at the thin purple glow that would be the end of him. He stared and confronted his death. The veil blinked out of existence.

He jerked the ship away and went sailing just by the edge of the ship. He had stopped listening to the commotion on his audio comm. It was time to tune back in.

Lotor.

Lotor had saved his life.

After the battle, Keith finally was able to return to the Castleship. To return home. Immediately when he steps off his ship a force knocks into him and he nearly topples him over. It’s so warm. He can smell him. He really is home.

“You fucking idiot!” Anyone could tell that Lance is screaming, despite the fact that he’s muffled by Keith’s shoulder. “How dare you.”

Keith doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t know which words to choose. He is so happy and so sad. So he is quiet.

He is quiet and so is Lance as they walk to the infirmary. They ignore the aftermath of the battle. They ignore the Paladins, the rebels, the Blades. They ignore anyone trying to get their attention. Hand in hand, they are the silence between the battles. Lance's eyes are soft when the pod closes. Keith is glad that is the last thing he sees before falling into a deep sleep.

It is three days before he leaves the pod. Lance waits there in the infirmary the whole time. Coran says that most of his injuries weren’t from the battle. There were minor bruises, sprains, even some fractures from weeks past littered across his body.

Lance waits for three days and he doesn’t say a word to anyone besides Coran when he’s questioning after Keith’s progress. Even then his speech is limited. This is when his family finally notices they’ve missed something.

Over these three days Lance practically moves in. One of the gurneys is claimed as his. The white floors are littered with the tissues he hasn’t bothered to pick up. The bowls and spoons he used for the occasional food goo have created a pile in the corner. There are five blankets. Two on Lance’s gurney (he’d always thought they were too thin) and three laying on the floor just by Keith’s pod. One to lay on, two to keep him warm when he sleeps on the cold white metal.

He spent a lot of time thinking, while he waited. He thought about a lot of things. Mainly how he almost lost Keith. He almost lost Keith before he was even able to tell him how he truly feels. He spent a lot of this time regretting. He regretted not telling him the most. They both knew. They knew their lives were on the line and they made that their reason to live in fear. They chose that as their reason to not take responsibility for themselves, their reason to run from their own feelings, their reason to punish themselves.

This is war. Lance realized. This is war, and I am brave enough to be fighting it. I should be allowed to love before I die.. Especially if I'm risking my life for theirs. To make sure they don’t have to. If I die out here I don't want to die in regret, never having lived my truth.

The fourth morning he laid awake on his blankets staring up at Keith. He didn’t look ill at all anymore. He must be almost completely healed by now, he looked just like the Keith that had left. Almost. He had grown taller, his hair had gotten longer. He joked about it being a mullet before, but now it was more than long enough to be braided. He wished he could, it was something he did for his sisters back home.

His thoughts are interrupted when he hears the electronic schwooop of the pod-shield lowering. He doesn’t have time to get up on his feet before Keith is toppling down.

“It’s okay. I’ve got you. You’re safe.” Lance says immediately, when Keith falls into his arms. He holds him tightly. It isn’t long before Keith does the same. They both know that Coran and Allura would have been alerted to Keith’s discharge from the pod and would be heading down to check on him. They took the time they had alone to hold onto each other.

“Is this real?” Keith asks, his voice is so meek. So thin and quiet.

“Yes, my love. This is real. I’m here. You’re safe.”

Keith melts into Lance's arms. “I’m home?”

“You’re home.”

They hear footsteps outside the infirmary door before they see anyone. They aren’t surprised to see the whole team walk in. They would all want to see Keith when he was better. Lance wasn’t the only one who had missed him. He was family.It would be wrong if they didn’t want to see him after the stunt he’d pulled either.

Shiro is the first to stalk into the room, with his big muscular body and his big powerful steps. “What the hell is going on here Lance? You’ve been uncollaborative and disrespectful for long enough. It ends now.” He shouts in his best commanding officer voice.

Keith flinches. Lance squeezes him for a moment, before standing up. “You lost your right to give me orders. If i’ve been ‘uncollaborative and disrespectful’ then it’s obviously been a long time since you’ve looked in a mirror. Especially when your reaction to seeing your brother for the first time in months fall out of a pod because he nearly killed himself.”

Shiro opens his mouth to speak only to be cut off. This time it is Coran.

“I think he’s right, Shiro.” His voice is tense and serious. This never happens. “Let the boy speak.”

Lance almost smiled. It seemed, recently, that Coran was the only one who truly cared. At the very least, he understood.

“Keith almost dies, and your reaction when he comes out of a pod, three days later probably still coming down from an adrenaline high not only from his near death experience but from the drugs that pod pumped him full of. Your brother comes home from zero contact and your reaction is to storm in and make demands?” Lance speaks to his family. He speaks to his family in a situation other than battle for the first time in weeks. Months. “You really think you’re the one who deserves answers?”

Lance kneels next to Keith once again. “You need food, water, and to relax.” His voice was soft now. “Do you want to go back to the bedrooms and wait for me there?”

Keith stands up. “I’m going to stay here. With you.” Same old Keith he sounds like. Only Lance could hear the slight quiver in his voice.

“Lance?” Hunk spoke, concerned, “Buddy, what’s going on? What are we missing?”

Lance almost laughed. It was a surprise to him. He hadn’t smiled without Keith in a long time. This wasn’t the context he wanted that to happen under. “What have I been doing?” He said decidedly.

Hunk looked confused.

“What do you mean by that?” Pidge.

“These last few months. What. Have. I Been. Doing>”

“The same as the rest of us.” Pidge spoke in that matter of fact way of hers.

“Yeah, you helped with the performances. You're loverboy Lance!”

“Exactly. I was Loverboy Lance. That explains so much.” Lance decides that they won’t ever realize on their own. He must open their eyes himself. He must be the one to hurt them. “When have you ever seen me do more than flirt with someone? When was the last time I went home with one, or brought one here? Hell, when was the last time I went on a date?”

Silence.

“I flirt. I sign autographs, I joke, and I tease. I have never been a player. I’ve never been Loverboy Lance, not in the way we showed the public. That’s not who I am. Just the same as any of you. Hunk, you are so much more than comedic flatulence, Pidge you aren’t a fraud you’re a genius and you know enough words to fill the script with that the audience will go home knowing how to turn their garbage disposal into a roomba. Allura, you’re your own Paladin, not Keith and there are so many amazing things about you that would make you just as interesting as Keith.

“Keith isn’t the Lone Wolf. He’s just lonely, he always has been. None of us ever pur in the effort to change that, so why would he in return?” Lance turned to Hunk. “You were my best friend, Hunk, and this hurts so much. It hurts so much to know that you can’t see me for who I really am. I look at all of you and see my family and then I wonder, where did you go?”

“I spent these last few months in Silence. I knew I wasn't good enough to keep up with you Pidge, Hunk. So I stayed away. I knew I would never live up to your expectations, Shiro, so I didn't bother with you either. I knew you didn’t want me around Allura, so I didn't stick around. I knew i would be left behind.

“Eventually I stopped speaking.”

Lance stopped then. He took a deep breath. “None of you noticed. My own family had made me feel as though I didn't belong, and so I stopped belonging. Of course you guys were so caught up in being amazing that you didn’t notice. That much I don't care about. This is what is important.

“How old are you, Pidge?”

“I’m fifteen, you know that.”

“Hunk?”

“17.”

“Back on earth, none of us would be considered an adult. We wouldn’t be allowed to go through the airport alone. We wouldn’t be allowed to buy alcohol. We wouldn’t be allowed to have an input in our government. We would be children.

“Here, on this ship, far away from our planet. We are war heros. We live in a castle that doubles as a spaceship, or a spaceship that doubles as a castle, and we are Paladins. We fight in battles on a larger scale than any one of our ancestors have ever fought in. We are soldiers.”

Lance could feel the tears streaming down his face. “More importantly though, we are children.”

Lance stalked out of the room.

Keith followed. Even when he’d caught up, Lance didn’t slow down. He was sobbing now. Just like he had each night when they ended their calls. This time, however, Keith was there. This time he could intertwine their fingers. “Lance.”

When they finally arrived at Lance's bedroom, hospital room, whichever you prefer it’s all the same to him,they both sat up on the bed. Keith held Lance as he cried. He cried and cried and cried and cried. They didn’t know how long they’d been there, but it didn’t truly matter. What did matter was that they were together. Between the sobs Keith could hear Lance mumble something just clearly enough to respond.

“I love you too.”

Lance looked up, those deep blue eyes so sad and so afraid, yet so full of hope. He looked intensely at Keith. “We are just children, I did mean what I said back there. We could die at any moment. I don’t want to let that stop us anymore.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“I love you Keith, and I don't want to live my life in fear of losing you. I want to use the time we have. This war would last the rest of our lives, whether they end early or decades from now. Why should we waste it?”

Keith had never thought of it that way. He had let the thought of losing Lance consume him so deeply that he’d never thought of how it might feel to have him fully. “You’re right.”

“I want to be with you. At this point I think it’s hurting us more to stay apart than it would to be together. Well I guess it’s hurting me, I can't really speak for you – Wait what did you say?”

“I said you’re right. We should take advantage of the time we have.”

Lance was speechless.

“If you leave your mouth open any longer you might catch flies. I told you you were right, don’t get used to it.”

Lance had been a man of words all night. He was sick of it. He grabbed onto Keith’s jawline and pulled his lips toward his own. He was so warm, like fire against his skin as they kissed. They’d been playing this game for so long. The kiss was the greatest thing Lance had ever experienced, or at least it felt like it in that moment. They kissed for a long time. Longer than they should.

It was Keith that finally broke the kiss. He only broke away for a moment, before burying his face in Lance’s shoulder.

“We have to talk about it, you know.”

“Not now. You make me so happy. I just want to be happy right now. It’s been so long since I've been happy.”

“That’s okay. You’re allowed to be happy. That’s our mission from now on. Happiness.”

They spent the night in Lance's room. They took their last opportunity to relax. After everything that has happened, not only over the course of the last few hours, but over the course of the last few days, weeks, months. They deserve peace, even if only for a moment.

The next morning they walked out to breakfast hand in hand. They had a calm conversation with their team. With their family. They spoke about how they felt so alone. They spoke about how they’ve spent so long being too afraid of death to love each other. They spoke about how they are so scared all the time, but never scared for themselves. They would all die for the cause at a moment’s notice, but they still feared the death of their friends and family.

Everyone shared how they felt, not only Lance and Keith. Pidge shared how scared she was. She was so young. Hunk shared how he felt so guilty for being the cowardly one, and wishes he could be brave like the rest of the Paladins. Allura tells them how she believes that she is only a Paladin because of her father, as though it was some sort of obligation. Shiro expressed that he was so afraid he wasn’t qualified to be the leather of a universal revolution. Coran worries he isn’t useful.

They all feel so alone. So isolated that they couldn’t find comfort in their own family.

They came to an understanding. Allura and Shiro, and Coran realized they were wrong for putting so much pressure on a bunch of teenagers that didn’t know what they were getting into. Keith, Lance, Hunk, and Pidge all realized that they didn’t have to pretend to be braver than they were.

Especially because they were the bravest in the universe.

Even war heroes are allowed to have a weakness.

Especially if they’re children.

#fanfiction #fanfic #angst #fluff #voltron #unresolved emotional tension #pining lance #lance is a mess #insecure lance #galra keith #keith is bad at feelings #keith is a mess #blade of marmora keith #blade of marmora #naxzela #pining keith #keith x lance #voltron: legendary defender

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citynewsglobe · 3 months ago

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ippnoida · 8 months ago

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Independent publishers dominate Swansea shortlist

The shortlist for the world’s largest and most prestigious literary prize for young writers – the Swansea University Dylan Thomas Prize – has been revealed, featuring six emerging voices whose writing plays with formal inventiveness to explore the timeless themes of grief, identity and family.

Comprising of four novels, one short story collection and one poetry collection – with five titles belonging to independent publishers – this year’s international shortlist is:

A Spell of Good Things by Ayòbámi Adébáyò (Canongate Books) – novel (Nigeria)

Small Worlds by Caleb Azumah Nelson (Viking, Penguin Random House UK) – novel (UK/Ghana)

The Glutton by AK Blakemore (Granta) – novel (England, UK)

Bright Fear by Mary Jean Chan (Faber & Faber) – poetry collection (Hong Kong)

Local Fires by Joshua Jones (Parthian Books) – short story collection (Wales, UK)

Biography of X by Catherine Lacey (Granta) – novel (US)

Worth £20,000, this global accolade recognizes exceptional literary talent aged 39 or under, celebrating the international world of fiction in all its forms including poetry, novels, short stories and drama. The prize is named after the Swansea-born writer Dylan Thomas and celebrates his 39 years of creativity and productivity. The prize invokes his memory to support the writers of today, nurture the talents of tomorrow, and celebrate international literary excellence.

Namita Gokhale, chair of Judges, said: “The Swansea University Dylan Thomas Prize has an important role to play in recognizing, supporting and nurturing young writers across a rich diversity of locations and genres. The 2024 shortlist has authors from the United States, United Kingdom, Hong Kong, Nigeria and Ghana, and it has been a truly rewarding adventure to immersively read through this creative spectrum of voices.”

The only debut on this year’s shortlist is the astonishing new Welsh talent Joshua Jones, who is in the running for his highly acclaimed short story collection Local Fires – a stunning series of multifaceted stories inspired by real people and real events that took place in his hometown of Llanelli, South Wales.

The sole poet in contention this year is Mary Jean Chan – who was previously shortlisted for the Prize with their debut Fleche in 2020 – and is now recognized for the collection Bright Fear, which fearlessly explores themes of identity, multilingualism and postcolonial legacy.

Three of the four novelists have also gained their second nomination for the Swansea University Dylan Thomas Prize: British-Ghanaian author Caleb Azumah Nelson is in contention for his second novel, Small Worlds, in which he travels from South London to Ghana and back again over the course of three summers to tell an intimate father-son story exploring the worlds we build for ourselves; Nigerian novelist Ayòbámi Adébáyò is shortlisted for her dazzling story of modern Nigeria, A Spell of Good Things, and two families caught in the riptides of wealth, power, romantic obsession and political corruption; and US author Catherine Lacey is celebrated for the genre-bending Biography of X, a roaring epic and ambitious novel chronicling the life, times and secrets of a notorious artist.

Completing the shortlist is British novelist AK Blakemore, recognized for her darkly exuberant novel The Glutton, which – set to the backdrop of Revolutionary France – is based on the true story of a peasant turned freakshow attraction.

The 2024 shortlist was selected by a judging panel chaired by writer and co-director of the Jaipur Literature Festival, Namita Gokhale, alongside author and lecturer in Creative Writing at Swansea University, Jon Gower, winner of the Rooney Prize for Irish Literature in 2022 and Assistant Professor at Trinity College Dublin, Seán Hewitt, former BBC Gulf Correspondent and author of Telling Tales: An Oral History of Dubai, Julia Wheeler, and interdisciplinary artist and author of Keeping the House, Tice Cin.

The winner of the Swansea University Dylan Thomas Prize 2024 will be revealed at a ceremony held in Swansea on 16 May, following International Dylan Thomas Day on 14 May.

Previous winners include Arinze Ifeakandu, Patricia Lockwood, Max Porter, Raven Leilani, Bryan Washington, Guy Gunaratne, and Kayo Chingonyi.

#Dylan Thomas Prize

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rjswriting · 8 months ago

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Good Reviews make for happy readers!

5 Stars - Congratulations on your 5-star review! MagNanoTron: a review by Pikasho Deka for Readers' Favorite "Magnanotron is an action-packed military thriller by Robert J. Saniscalchi. When scientists Peter S. Androvski and his assistant Darious Patel from Devcom make a revolutionary breakthrough with Magnanotron -- a nanotech forcefield that protects the wearer from heavy artillery fire -- it sends ripples throughout the US government and security agencies. But trouble arises when spies from Russian intelligence become aware of this extraordinary invention. After raiding a cartel compound in Texas, Colonel Jason Patrick's elite Delta Team members become the first field soldiers to test the Magnanotron. However, the Russians are after the technology. Now, Chief Warrant Officer Tex Larson and the Delta Team must fight tooth and nail to stop the Russians from taking Patel out of the country. Magnanotron is a gripping thriller full of action, suspense, and espionage. Robert J. Saniscalchi is a master of spinning absorbing yarns featuring multiple POVs with intricate plotlines that ensure you can't take your eyes off the pages until you've finished the book. Saniscalchi's characters feel layered and multi-dimensional, and this is what makes them so compelling for the reader. Even with so much packed into the story, the narrative is a breeze due to the well-paced plot. The action scenes happen in quick bursts with high stakes, which keep you on the edge of your seat. The dialogue is witty, and the character interactions between the Delta Team members are always a pleasure to read. In conclusion, this novel is tailor-made for readers of military fiction, suspense, and adventure." A review, Magnanotren, a Bond of Brothers Thriller, Read by Heart, 03/13/2024 "Magnanotron" is a super exciting story full of action and suspense by Robert Saniscalchi that will keep you glued to the pages from beginning to end. If you like stories about soldiers and thrilling adventures, this book is perfect for you. The story picks up where the previous book left off, The story follows Colonel Jason Patrick and his Delta Team buddies who are testing out a new weapon called the Magnanotron. It's a cool gadget that creates a forcefield around the soldier wearing it, which could change the way wars are fought. But things get crazy when bad guys, like Russian President Baranov and other sneaky enemies, try to steal the Magnanotron for themselves. The team has to work together to stop them and rescue a scientist who's been kidnapped. This book is so awesome, because of all the action-packed scenes. From daring rescues to intense battles, there's always something exciting happening. And the author describes everything so well that you feel like you're right there with the characters, dodging bullets and saving the day. But the best part of the story is the friendship between the members of the Delta Team. They stick together through thick and thin, showing us what true bravery and loyalty look like. This book is going to be appealing to anyone who loves military fiction and suspenseful storytelling. With its engaging plot, well-developed characters, and pulse-pounding action, this book is sure to keep readers entertained until the very end and fans of this genre won't want to miss it."

#robert j saniscalchi #thriller #military #action and adventure #books and libraries

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pashterlengkap · 1 year ago

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To hide our history is to deny our existence: Kids must learn what queer folks have given the world

I first started teaching myself queer history when I came out to myself in high school, and it opened my entire world. I began to understand how I wasn’t alone. I had entire generations of ancestors stretching out across the centuries who had lived and loved in ways I saw myself reflected in, and their stories validated for me that my feelings were not a phase, made up, or part of an invented trend of the young. Feeling connected to these historical figures and seeing role models in history when I didn’t see many in the media or my personal life showed me the future I could have as a queer person. This is what I wanted to bring to LGBTQ+ youth when I started my career sharing our history, first with a mobile app 10 years ago and since then speaking to over 200 audiences across eight countries, writing four books for young people, and writing two page-a-day calendars. Related: Burmese trans women find freedom & dignity as spirit mediums Trans women still face discrimination in Myanmar, but while they perform the role of spirit medium, they are temporarily revered. When I share this heritage, audiences are almost always amazed to learn about the contributions of queer people throughout all of human history. Alan Turing, a gay man, invented the computer that we all use today. Lynn Conway, a trans woman, helped to develop the microprocessors inside our phones and tablets. Glenn Burke, a gay man, co-created the high five. Katharine Lee Bates, a lesbian, wrote the lyrics to “America the Beautiful.” Martine Rothblatt, a trans woman, invented satellite radio. Goodnight Moon and Where the Wild Things Are were written by queer people. Queer people’s contributions to the world are in our everyday lives, straight and cisgender people’s too. Get the Daily Brief The news you care about, reported on by the people who care about you: Subscribe to our Newsletter Ten years ago, the backlash to sharing this history was nothing like it is today. Our history was barely ever taught in schools and we worked to get it shared there, but lawmakers and individuals were not organizing in these numbers to actively ban it from ever reaching the classroom or library. LGBTQ+ history education has gone from struggling to break out of erasure and silence to becoming a hot-button cultural flashpoint. According to the Movement Advancement Project, seven states have laws that explicitly censor discussions of LGBTQ+ people or issues throughout all school curricula. Five more require advance parental notification of any LGBTQ+-related curricula and allow parents to opt their children out or require them to opt-in. Before these legal attacks, LGBTQ+ history was already rarely found in the classroom. According to a 2022 Human Rights campaign survey, less than one in seven LGBTQ+ youth had ever received any LGBTQ+ history education. Two of my educational books — Queer, There, and Everywhere for teens and Rainbow Revolutionaries for middle graders — have been challenged and removed from specific schools and libraries in multiple states, in addition to not being allowed in the states that have bans on talking about LGBTQ+ people in schools. The places that participate in this censorship remove the ability of librarians and teachers to curate their own collections and curricula as they have been hired to do. They keep youth from learning a complete version of history and lead us down a dangerous path of limiting freedom of speech. “All students deserve an education that is complete, honest, and accurate,” Rob Sanders, author of several LGBTQ+ history books for children and a former teacher, tells me. “To not be taught the whole of history is to be taught inaccurately. To me, the teaching of LGBTQ+ history is not controversial, but not teaching history accurately and completely sure is.” According to PEN America, Sanders’s picture book Pride: The Story of Harvey Milk and the Rainbow Flag was tied as the most banned picture book in the U.S. in the 2022 school… http://dlvr.it/Sxwk9h

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acid-gothic · 1 year ago

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The utopias of creation that the Revolution engendered were not “transcended” in Socialist Realism, but were assimilated by it. In the Socialist Realist theory of creativity we find fragments of practically all the aesthetic projects of the revolutionary era. The populism of Soviet art is inconceivable without the contribution of the RAPPists who continued the Proletkult experiment and, afterward, under the aegis of the state, brought the “army of poets” out into the literary arena. The Party-mindedness that comprises the “living soul” of Socialist Realism arose from a synthesis of RAPPist “restraint” with Perevalist “organicity.” Finally, the Stalinist directive regarding professionalism (“expertise”) had strong support in the literature of the LEFist “specialists.” The “ardent revolutionaries” brought their projects to the altar of Socialist Realism. We will not enumerate the victims (historians of Soviet culture have been busy doing this for half a century). Far more important is recognizing the profound naturalness of the genesis of the Socialist Realist aesthetic, its synthetic nature. Like any battle, the “literary struggle” of the 1920s was waged in the name of victory. Nevertheless, the victory of a utopia means its death, since in victory the modal status of the utopian vision is transcended—the gap between the “real” and the “vital” is removed. The battle of the utopias is thus a battle for self-annihilation. In victory, life-creating conflict and dynamism are transcended. Petrifaction begins. A new building is constructed over the ruins. Thus revolutionary culture congeals in Socialist Realism—the petrified utopia. From the multitude of real preconditions (the inner crisis of revolutionary culture, the sense of overall crisis in literature as the 1930s neared, the authorities’ recognition of the necessity for the real inclusion of literature in the new political-aesthetic project, the exhaustion of literary institutions’ characteristic means of functioning in revolutionary culture, “readers’ requirements,” and so on), not one can be chosen as defining. The deefning factor was their confluence. Speaking out in 1920 against the Proletkult ideas of “new culture,” Lenin advanced a counter-program that went beyond the framework of the polemic with Proletkult and had a broader implication: “Not invention of a new proletarian culture, but development of the best examples, traditions, and results of existing culture from the point of view of Marxism’s worldview and of the conditions of life and of the proletariat’s struggle in the era of its dictatorship.” If we transfer this formula from the early 20s to the early 30s, we obtain the strategy of Socialist Realism. And in fact, it was not necessary to “invent” anything: revolutionary culture served as the “existing culture”; the main thing, from “the point of view of the proletariat” in the era of “reconstruction,” was the demand to synthesize “the best examples, traditions, and results” of the preceding revolutionary culture.

—Evgeny Dobrenko, The Aesthetics of Alienation

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thedeafprophet · 10 months ago

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okay this is a whole new topic but i have thoughts on this.

okay preface: any large household in the victorian era, even middle class people, had to have at least some servants. due to the nature of how difficult chores were ie laundry, before the invent of stainless steel, ironing, soot cleaning etc, just existing in a bigger house would require some servants just for it to get done. theres a reason servantry was so huge as a group in the victorian era

ANYWAY THO that is no reason to have the PC not notice the servants or aknowledge them??? especially as a revolutionary! exactly! why wouldnt you notice them?! i mean heck, even irl peoples noticing of their workers varied from home to home like. that doesnt make sense

BUT THE THING. THE THING THAT GETS ME

is the Newt By Any Other Name comes not that long after The Bloody Wallpaper which entierly focused around being forced into the role of the servant and being fully aware of the grueling efforts of the working class, and this was written BY THE SAME AUTHOR. same ES author, Groover over here.

which baffles me because i guess he's assuming the pc learned nothing from the previous story he wrote??? i dont get it. Groover what. huh. what was the thought process here. i guess maybe the end of the bloody wallpaper could sort of imply memory loss but idk it still seems weird to me

also fyi if you get pissy about people from different backgrounds not liking when FBG forces and assumes the player character to be Christian, maybe check your biasis and actually try and think about why people are annoyed instead of going 'but its the victorian era' as if people from other backgrounds werent around

#like. huh???#the vibe switch between the two stories is wild lmao #idk!! something!!#fl crit

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astrognossienne · 3 years ago

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the evolution and devolution of mars: mars in aquarius

a devolved aquarius mars: erratic, impatient with others. lacks empathy and respect for tradition. has inner conflicts and nervous tension. scornful of things like tradition and conservatism, and hence makes some people a little wary of them. quirky. has a detached, almost clinical attitude toward sex. coldhearted. inconsistent. dispassionate towards others in order to act freely on their ideals. cuts themselves off from the group and closes into themselves. set in their ways. can't deal with intimate personal and emotional issues. not good a affection, especially in public. defensive and unpredictable. petty high-strung. finds it very hard to trust others yet wants to be unconditionally trusted. holds rather stubbornly to their opinions, even if they're wrong. regards their way of thinking as the only "right" way, yet still thinks they're "openminded". hypocritical. tends to feel sorry for themselves when things don't go their way. may be too forceful in communicating their beliefs. can't handle authority. lunatics. word in a bad way. creepy. lacks diplomacy and alienate people with their abrasive and self-righteous approach. easily bored. terroristic. embarrassing. rash and explosive. rebels without a cause.

an evolved aquarius mars: inventive. original. interesting. has high mental energy. seeks truth. honest. mentally-dynamic. scientific and forward-thinking. friendly. independent. physical outlet. intellectual. electronically and technologically literate. great writers. experimental. kind. excellent at platonic relationships. interesting. hard to generalize about. idealistic. not basic. is part of the group rather than separate. will fight to the death for a cause they believe in. has strong principles concerning personal freedom. open. has long-lasting relationships. believes strongly in loyalty and trust. tries to act honourably and fairly. accords their partners equal rights and listens to their point of view. tries to behave democratically and to be a thoughtful friend. progressive. exciting. always eager to learn new things. always ready to stand up or fight for what they believe in. has the energy and enthusiasm to stir others to action. works better with a group. knows how to align their own objectives with other people's so that the results are satisfying to all. free-thinkers. appreciates differences in people. doesn't discriminate. great humanitarians. pleasantly zany and unconventional. revolutionaries. extremely amusing and entertaining. low-key sensitive. seldom loses touch with humanity - they would rather hurt themselves than injure others. multifaceted. they are their own person.

#mars in aquarius #aquarius mars #mars #astrology #on evolution #mine

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galadhremmin · 3 years ago

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personal Tolkien (related) Reading List 2022 so far, (suggestions welcome).

On Tolkien and his work:

Books

A companion to Tolkien, ed. Stuart Lee 2014

Splintered Light: Logos and Language in Tolkien's World, Verlyn Flieger 1983

Tolkien and the Classical World, ed. Hamish 2021

Tolkien and Alterity, ed. Christopher Vaccaro 2017

Middle-earth Minstrel: Essays on Music in Tolkien ed. Bradford Lee Eden

The Flame Imperishable: Tolkien, St. Thomas, and the Metaphysics of Faërie, Jonathan S. McIntosh, 2017.

Tolkien and the Invention of Myth: A Reader, ed. Jane Chance 2014

War and the Works of J.R.R. Tolkien - Janet B. Praeger 2004

Beyond the Willing Suspension of Disbelief: Poetic Faith from Coleridge to Tolkien, Michael Tomko 2017.

Fantasies of Time and Death: Dunsany, Eddison, Tolkien, Anna Vaninskaya 2020.

Pagan Saints in Middle-earth, Claudio A. Testi, 2020.

Arda reconstructed, Douglas C. Kane 2009.

Shadows of imagination: the fantasies of C.S. Lewis, J.R.R. Tolkien, Mark R Hillegas 1979.

essays:

The Story Was Already Written: Narrative Theory in The Lord of the Rings, Mary R. Bowman Narrative, Volume 14, Number 3, October 2006, pp. 272-293

Tolkien's Debt to Fellow Inkling Owen Barfield, Siobhán Maloney.

Tolkien and Old Norse Antiquity, Dimitra Fimi 2007.

Real-World Myth in a Secondary World: Mythological Aspects in the Story of Beren and Lúthien. In Tolkien the Medievalist, ed. Jane Chance 2003.

“Mad” Elves and “Elusive Beauty”: Some Celtic Strands of Tolkien's Mythology, Dimitra Fimi 2006.

“Come sing ye light fairy things tripping so gay”: Victorian Fairies and the Early Work of J. R. R. Tolkien

Tolkien's "'Celtic' type of legends": Merging Traditions Dimitra Fimi 2007.

and also @skyeventide’s essay list.

Books on related/relevant authors and topics:

related topics:

The invention of race in the European Middle Ages, Geraldine Heng 2018.

(On) authors that influenced on Tolkien, or seem related to his work:

The Well at the World's End, William Morris.

The House of the Wolfings, William Morris

The Roots of the Mountains, William Morris

News from Nowhere, William Morris.

William Morris: Romantic to Revolutionary : Thompson, E.

The place of the Lion, Charles Williams.

The Worm Ouroboros, E.R. Edison 1922

An Experiment with Time, J.W. Dunne 1927 >> Borges’ "Time and J. W. Dunne", in Other Inquisitions, 1937-1952.

The Book of Wonder ,The Charwoman’s daughter, Lord Dunsany (’ "When American Clyde Kilby arrived in Oxford in the summer of 1966 to offer Tolkien "editorial assistance" in finishing The Silmarillion, one of the first things Tolkien did was hand him a copy of Dunsany's The Book of Wonder and tell him to read it before starting work on Tolkien's own story.”)

(I would add The King of Elfland’s Daughter to any list involving Dunsany and Tolkien, but this list is for me and not people in general, so does not include books I have already read and don’t want to read again this year. As much as I adore it!

Same goes for great essays I have already read, like the Enchanted hair, Cloaking or Stuart Hall and Tolkien ones).

this is...far from complete but let’s see how far I get while also reading other things lol. Feel free to suggest more.

#that's it for now

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latristereina · 4 years ago

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The significance of Lucena’s Arte de axedrez goes far beyond its recreational value, however. The work is not only the first printed book on chess playing; it is also the earliest documentation of a radical alteration in the rules of the game. The change took place quite suddenly in the last quarter of the fifteenth century, transforming the way chess had been played for five hundred years. It is central to my argument that this revolutionary change centers dramatically on the only female piece on the chessboard, the Queen.

Chess historians differ in their determination of the date or country of origin of the “new chess.” The erudite H. J. R. Murray believed that the new moves were invented in Italy, and he cites as evidence Lucena’s prefatory statement that he acquired knowledge of the game on travels to Rome and France. More recent authorities believe the moves originated in either Spain or southern France. Richard Eales, for example, states that “it is hard to ignore the fact that almost all the reliable early evidence is linked with Spain or Portugal” (76). There was, in fact, in a general acknowledgment in the late Middle Ages of Spaniards’ expertise at chess, their skill at the game considered an indication of a high level of civility. In book 2 of Castiglione’s Il Cortegiano (The book of the courtier), the nobleman Federico Fregoso touts the benefits of chess as a pastime, calling it “a refined and ingenious recreation” (1140). Interestingly, especially in light of Pulgar’s comment on Fernando’s excessive dedication to the game, Don Federico also advises against devoting too much time to the pastime, lest it detract from more serious pursuits. Gaspar Pallavicino responds by praising the Spaniards for their seemingly effortless skill at the game: “there are to be found many Spaniards who excel at chess and at a number of other games, and yet do not study them too exhaustively or neglect other things,” to which Federico replies, “You may take it for granted . . . that they put in a great deal of study, but they conceal it” (140).

Chess scholars also disagree as to when exactly the new rules came into being. There is, however, unanimity in that they replaced the old game with remarkable swiftness. By 1510, the medieval game was obsolete in Spain, Italy, and probably France. By 1550, there is no evidence for its existence anywhere in Europe besides parts of Germany, Scandinavia, and Iceland (Eales, 76). Eales expresses the prevailing scholarly puzzlement over the rapidity with which modern chess replaced the Islamic form that had prevailed throughout the preceding millennium as follows: “The transition from medieval to modern was a complex and gradual process, in almost every area of life. Few historians or readers of history now expect to find specific events which tipped the scales from one age to the next. . . . So it is ironic that the game of chess experienced the only major change in its internal structure in over a thousand years of documented history through a single and dramatic shift in its rules of play at just about this time, the late fifteenth century” (71).

The drastic shift in rules centers dramatically on the Queen. In the old game, identified by Lucena as “old-style chess” [axedrez al viejo], the Queen was far weaker than the Rook or Knight and only slightly stronger than the Bishop (Murray, 776). In the new game, the Queen combines the moves of Rook and Bishop, to become by far the strongest piece on the board. This shift caused a radical alteration in the method and tempo of play. As Murray explains,

the initial stage in the Muslim or mediaeval game, which lasted until the superior forces came into contact, practically ceased to exist; the new Queen and Bishop could exert pressure upon the opponent’s forces in the first half-dozen moves, and could even, under certain circumstances, effect mate in the same period. The player no longer could reckon upon time to develop his forces in his own way; he was compelled to have regard to his opponent’s play from the very first. . . . Moreover, the possibility of converting the comparatively weak Pawn into a Queen of immense strength . . . [meant] it was no longer possible to regard the Pawns as useful only to clear a road by their sacrifice for the superior pieces. Thus the whole course of the game was quickened by the introduction of more powerful forces. (777)

It is important to note that whereas medieval players had been experimenting with extended moves for the Pawn and the Bishop since the thirteenth century, no known medieval precedent for the new Queen exists. The impression that the change in the Queen’s power made on European chess players and theorists is best seen in the names they gave the new game in France and Italy: “chess of the mad lady” [eschés de la dame enragée] and “mad chess” [scacchi alla rabiosa] (Eales, 72). Lucena calls it simply “chess of the lady” [axedrez de la dama].43 Chess authorities have proposed a variety of reasons for the sudden and drastic shift in the power of the Queen. These range from the “impact of the Renaissance” and the “urge toward individual independence,” to the invention of the printing press and the geographical discoveries of Columbus, to the creation of the idealized courtly lady by the Provençal troubadours (Cereceda, 24), to strong female role models such as Joan of Arc or Catherine Sforza (Eales, 76–77; Murray, 778–79).

It is perhaps a measure of the marginalization of Iberia in modern cultural history that no one has related the transformation of the Queen’s power in chess sometime between 1475 and 1496 with the unprecedented strengthening of royal authority simultaneously being effected by a historical queen who was decidedly a queen regnant and not a queen consort. Richard Eales, for example, states confidently that “It is certainly striking that the dominant piece in the new chess should be the queen, the only one with a female name, but no conceivable change in fifteenth-century history can explain it” (77).

It seems likely that the tastes and patronage of a queen who significantly shaped literature, art, and architecture in the final quarter of the fifteenth century also affected the recreational arts. Certainly, Isabel is a far more likely candidate for this distinction than the historically remote Joan of Arc (1412?–31) or the geographically displaced Catherine Sforza (1463–1509) proposed by Eales. Although there is no proof that Isabel’s real and symbolic power caused the transformation in the game itself, we can say that at the very least the recording of that dramatic change was a result of the impression that the absolutist power of this “new kind of queen” made on one aspiring letrado.

- Barbara F. Weissberger, Isabel Rules: Constructing Queenship, Wielding Power

#perioddramaedit #historyedit #women in history #isabella i of castile #chess #isabel tve #1x01 #michelle jenner

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canmom · 2 years ago

Note

I oddly have a fairly specific memory of how I got pulled into online SJ (for me at least it was largely online, I primarily encountered the subculture IRL through people I met first online). I was reading a webcomic called Clockwork Game, about the Mechanical Turk, and the author wrote an anxious post about how they’d been reading all these posts about racism recently and wanted to reconsider how they were doing their comic. I was dismissive at first, but I followed the links, dived into a massive web rabbit hole, the rhetoric got me hard, and one way or another, this encounter set the course of my life for years. It was about the exact same time as I got into LessWrong, so I guess I was really desperate for some kind of rigid ideology lmao.

From this perspective then, ‘social justice’ blew up in a big way in 2009. The ideas weren’t new, but they were previously quite niche, and suddenly they weren’t. This came shortly before the demise of Livejournal (the ‘strikethrough’ etc.), which in turn deposited a whole lot of people onto Tumblr as the new site for ‘fandom’. In contrast to Livejournal, Tumblr had a timeline and reblogging. SJ proved very adaptive in this circumstance.

This was the era of ‘fuck yeah x’ and ‘fuck no y’ blogs, bingo cards, etc. etc. It was never just on Tumblr - LJ and derivatives stuck around for a bit, and a lot of stuff was written on regular old Wordpress blogs (generally themed around feminism and disability). There were also concurrent developments in e.g. indie games which mostly happened on Twitter (that’s where the Hot Allostatic Load jiken played out). Among the atheists and the skeptics, there was a big fracturing of the movement around the early 2010s, with a lot of them jumping on board the SJ stuff and a lot of others repudiating it.

And that’s just where I was there to see it. So it seems right to say that it was a broad movement, not confined to one website.

Tumblr probably wasn’t even the dominant pole. Definitely I was already caught up in SJ for a good few years before I got on this site. The people I met IRL through the bisexual students’ group at uni, pretty much the first IRL trans friends I had, were much more about Twitter. It was through them I got involved with stuff like the Nine Worlds convention, and it was through them became briefly connected to the OULES-adjacent scene (Lashings etc.) which was broadly offline, based around a specific student group in Oxford. A lot of people were involved in one of the many wings of the ‘sj subculture’ without being on Tumblr.

Even so, I do remember regarding ‘trans women on tumblr’, the people having the sort of abstruse theoretical arguments Jackie mentioned in the OP, with a kind of reverential awe. I didn’t know any of these girls IRL so it was easy to create a fantasy image of the impossibly sharp and cultured revolutionary I was morally obliged to try to become.

Compared to something like LessWrong, a much smaller website with a more specific focus, it’s harder to credit thing specifically to Tumblr because it’s a different sort of website. Most people who use this website use it to post pictures of their blorbos, not talk politics. And there’s all sorts of insular little subcultures on here, including libs and fascists and tradcaths. I don’t think the modern synthesis of communism and LGBT politics formed in any one place. But, I think there was some stuff this website incubated. For example I don’t think the discourse on ‘transmisogyny’, distinct from Serrano’s version, would be nearly so developed without the subculture that existed on this website. Also as a footnote the very phrase ‘the discourse’ was invented by a trans girl on here (ladygolem made the discourse chef image, if I remember right).

And Tumblr still had a bit of a reputation, so when the figure of the ‘social justice warrior’ broke containment from Livejournal/Dreamwidth sites like fail_fandomanon and became a right wing bogeyman, ‘Tumblr user with colourful hair’ proved a very straightforward visual shorthand for it.

Discourse— Tumblr for a long time was the discourse site. Other sites have kinda taken that role; Twitter, fb.. the list is endless (2 or more). But do you think that Tumblr is still a place to talk about the Issues (american politics, which kinks are correct, etc)?

hi friend :3 oh good question... there was a time when tumblr was integrated with a lot of irl organizing. people would be on here arguing over issues that were lines within their organization, and they would be influenced by the perspectives they heard here (and also the enemies they made, who they'd try to hurt). there were also a lot of housing situations tied to tumblr. a lot of people experimented with communal living and squatting, to house their homeless or housing-unstable friends, but also with the promise that it would be better than bourgeois living and its atomization, and so forth. but usually because only one or zero people owned the house nobody had legal rights, so if people in the house turned against someone they could just kick them out and make them homeless. this was often the context of callouts and political feuds in early tumblr—to manage irl milieus where time and space were scarce. so that discourse was often high stakes, but they were personal rather than political stakes. i saw through it eventually, but i kept participating as a bad habit. now it seems less important as you say, ambitious people went to twitter, but also people on tumblr have seen a few cycles of discourse and are cynical about it, and people are better educated about how public discussion can be used dishonestly, so people are more careful. i've tried to stop getting involved in discourse personally, but it's not even because the stakes are lower. the things people talk about on tumblr don't matter to me. as you say kink, US party politics, also things like AI, fanfiction, etc. who cares enough to argue about that stuff? we used to argue about the nature of the revolutionary subject, the relationship between anti-colonial paramilitaries and the revolution, the structure of the city and so forth. there used to be people who would push back on me on interpreting Theodore, remember that's why i started learning OE, LOL. i'd get into discourse if it was like that!

#history #tumblr #i don't seem to be capable of writing anything short today

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autumnslance · 3 years ago

Text

About Plagiarism

I left a long, planned essay on Twitter tonight. I will copy the meat of it here for y’all, as recently a friend was copied (a rarer ship in the fandom, so very noticeable by the writer and their regular beta reader) and it seems we need a Talk, kids. Links and screenshots and my rambling underway.

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Apparently we need to discuss what is and isn’t plagiarism. Especially in FanFic where we're interacting with the same characters, settings, ideas. Let’s start with the dictionary and continue the thread from there (I like the word origin/history personally):

Definition of plagiarize

transitive verb : to steal and pass off (the ideas or words of another) as one's own : use (another's production) without crediting the source

intransitive verb : to commit literary theft : present as new and original an idea or product derived from an existing source

The Kidnapping Roots of Plagiarize

If schools wish to impress upon their students how serious an offense plagiarism is, they might start with an explanation of the word’s history. Plagiarize (and plagiarism) comes from the Latin plagiarius “kidnapper.” This word, derived from the Latin plaga (“a net used by hunters to catch game”), extended its meaning in Latin to include a person who stole the words, rather than the children, of another. When plagiarius first entered English in the form plagiary, it kept its original reference to kidnapping, a sense that is now quite obsolete.

“Ideas” is fuzzy in the Merriam-Webster definition. There are story archetypes that exist in many forms. Joseph Campbell’s Monomyth/Hero's Journey outlines many famous stories. And it's popular to say that “Avatar” is “Dances with Wolves” is “Pocahontas” is “The Last Samurai” etc.

But note how while those films have similar plotlines--”Military Guy falls for Native woman, learns to appreciate her Culture, stands up to Evil Bosses”--none of them execute those ideas in the same way. Sully’s story is different from Dunbar’s not just cuz one’s a Science Fiction epic and the other a Western. Disney's “Pocahontas” Very Loosely takes history and uses the same story beats. The Last Samurai uses the Meiji era Westernization. Same ideas, different executions, even beyond settings.

None of these are plagiarizing each other though the ideas are similar. They’re told in their own ways, own language; both in the genres they belong to (Western, Pseudo-History, SciFi, Animated) and how characters interact with each other and settings. Original dialogues (variable quality).

We also see this in books as similar novel plots get published in waves so we end up with bunches of post-apocalypse teen revolutionaries or various vampires or lots of young wizard stories all at once. Sometimes ideas just happen like this; multiple discovery, simultaneous invention, concurrent inspiration, cognitive emergence are all phrases I’ve seen for it. So it happens in original content as well, and legality gets fuzzy (Also why you don't send authors your fanfic ideas).

In existing properties, this gets trickier but even “Elementary”’s Holmes and Watson are nothing like the BBC’s “Sherlock” characters. Who are nothing like other versions of the Detective and his Doctor pal over the decades in various media properties.

FanFic's in a similar position where like Sherlock Holmes we play with the same characters, setting, and storyarcs but give our own spin to them. People can and will have similar ideas about plots. Trick is to use your own words. Take the characters and make the story your own.

I have a good example courtesy of @raelly-writing. We both ship Wolcred. We both wrote soft post-Paglth’an scenes with Thancred and our WoLs. Both features the couples helping each other undress, examining injuries, bathing, bantering. My fic was written soon after 5.5 part 1 came out. Dara’s is much more recent. Yet at no point reading hers did I feel she was copying my words. The PoVs differ. Our characters focus on different things. Mine has a mini-arc concerning the Nutkin.

The links for comparison’s sake (and maybe leave kudos/comments if so inclined please and thanks). Note while the scenes are very similar no phrases are written in the same way. Mine: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25417882/chapters/76059467 Dara’s: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26067565/chapters/81832915

Dara and I both hang out in certain Discords and I know conversations about Thancred and WoL caring for each other post-battle has come up in those channels and we've both participated. It’s a stock FanFic scene to boot. Cuz it's soft and feels warm and snuggly.

I HAVE been copied before, back in WoW. My case is pretty clear cut so here are the images of my old RP Haven profile (1st, old RP website) and the plagiarist’s RSP (2nd, an in game mod to share descriptions and basic info).

This was a decade ago on Shadow Council and I think the character deleted so any Availa’s in WoW now aren’t the same person. I left the names to point out what changed. Just the names and a word or 2 to make sense for the class changes as well. Otherwise lifted directly from my RP profile.

The funny part is how the person got caught. Literally walked into our weekly RP Guild meeting that I was running and asked to join. Folks noticed right away the similar backstory; after all there may have been more Outland-born Azerothians. My initial excitement at a character I could weave into our story turned to gut-twisting rage and grief as I recognized my own exact words though. Words I’d carefully crafted and constantly iterated on to improve over time (before and after this incident, until the site died).

When caught they tried to claim their significant other had leveled the character for them and made up the backstory based on Skyrim. If you know WoW’s Outland story and Skyrim’s plot you know how ridiculous that is. Also tried to lie about other drama I knew about thanks to roommate's characters but hey. I had to be blunt that I’d shared the info with Haven mods and other guild officers Alliance and Horde. That we would not “laugh about this” one day though lucky this was “just” RP not original or academic work. Cuz if it'd been monetized or academic I would've raked them through the coals.

I felt violated. Hurt. Had anxiety attacks. They took MY WORDS and tried to claim them as theirs. Have another character born in Outland trained by Draenei; Awesome! Our characters have an instant connect in similarities and differences of that experience. Don’t steal my characters wholesale!

Then the audacity of trying to come into my guild as if no one would notice. ShC wasn’t a large server by then, still active but not nearly Wyrmrest Accord or Moon Guard big. My character was well known due to my writing and RP. Speaking of how easy it is to get caught in specific spaces...A case of a self-published novelist getting noticed for plagiarizing fanfic was discovered recently (explicit erotica examples through the thread).

One way they got noticed was how much content they put out in only a year, lifted from fandom. The examples in Kokom’s threads show how the material was altered but still recognizable. In some cases, just the names are changed as in my experience. In other passages more has changed but you can still see the bones of the original fic poking through in the descriptions and character interactions, even with adjustments made.

Similar ideas happen. Similar plots exist. Same 'ships with friends are fun! In FanFic we’re working with the same material. It’s possible to write a similar scene differently. To make that scene and characters your own. All we’re asking is not to copy others' words. Others' characters. Others' specific phrases and descriptions used to bring those words, those characters, to life. Use your own. In the end you’ll be happier.

I get wanting to have what the perceived “popular people” have. I get seeing concepts others succeed with and wanting some of that too. We all get a bit jealous now and then for various reasons. Sometimes we don't even realize it, consciously. But do it in your own way. Maybe check to see if you’re getting a bit too close to the “inspiration” you admired, maybe reread often. Don’t hurt your fellow creatives. If you do and get caught don’t try to double down. Have the grace to be abashed at least and work to do better. Eventually you WILL get caught. All it takes is once to throw all else you've done into question. Ao3 doesn’t take kindly to plagiarists. Nor do a lot of fan communities focused on writing and RP. Getting back that trust is hard. The internet doesn’t forget easily, for good or ill.

#writing #blogging #about me #social media #plagiarism #fanfiction #Ao3

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