#naxzela

[autisticlancemcclain]

My Dearest La

Dear La

Lance,

I really hate it when you’re right.

I know you are smiling as you read this. I can see it so clearly in my head. You are rolling your eyes now, probably, in fact you are probably even straining yourself. But I bet you are still smiling.

…

I miss you.

You told me leaving was stupid. Well, we screamed about it. I don’t like that I left angry. I should have waited so we could have been — well, I don’t know. I just don’t like that I left without saying goodbye properly. I don’t like that I didn’t get to kiss the smush between your eyebrows that you get when you’re mad

The bottom line is that I’m sorry. And I can’t do anything about it now because what���s done is done but. I wish I did. I’m sorry this message is so dorky. I can’t help how I feel about you. I promise I’ll be more — suave, or whatever, in my next one. There’s this Blade I hang out with sometimes, Sedrit, she is awkwardly funny like you. She has promised to give me some pointers because she’s as nosy as you are and read over my shoulder all the other times I tried to write this letter. I don’t trust her judgement but I’d walk into a wall on purpose in front of Pidge’s cameras if I could guarantee it’d make you laugh I think we could always use a smile. I’m ending this letter now because I’m embarrassed and if I write one more line I’ll lose my nerve.

Love,

Warm regards,

Sincerely,

Love,

Keith

———

“Sir? Sir! Hold on! Sir!”

The Balmeran turns, looking back at him curiously. He leans heavily on his cane, back hunched but chin set squarely.

“Yes, Blade?”

Keith jogs all the way over to him, stopping a respectful distance away. He reaches up to deactivate his mask, which he is not supposed to do, but the mask is fucking creepy, okay, it makes people uneasy so clearly that even Keith can see it, so fuck Kolivan’s lectures. He’s vindicated by the visible relaxing of the Balmeran’s shoulders.

“I need — a favour,” Keith says haltingly. His own shoulders begin to hunch. “If you don’t mind.”

The Balmeran’s stiff brows lift in surprise. He looks deliberately down at his newly-bandaged leg, then back up at Keith. Keith flushes.

“A… favour.”

All the pockets on Keith’s uniform are square-shaped and small. Deep, but not very long. Anything he puts in there gets squished. Except for the long, thin pocket-thing hidden against the outside of his thigh.

The letter has been stuffed carefully in there for two weeks. It’s a miracle it hasn’t been destroyed. The top left corner of it has gotten frayed, because Keith keeps catching himself rubbing it with the pad of his thumb.

“I know you’ve been through so much,” Keith says quietly. “I’m sorry even to ask.”

The Balmeran’s stance is still carefully guarded, practiced —

“As have you.”

— but his eyes are soft and knowing.

Keith lets out a long, heavy breath. He slides the letter gently out of its spot, turning it over in his hands; inspecting the familiar creases, ink stains. It’s a rough, recycled envelope. Made out of old briefing notes, by the looks of it, thick black lines of censorship streaking across the pale yellow surface. An ugly thing, really.

“I need to get this to the Red Paladin of Voltron,” he says, forcing himself to hand the thing over. “I don’t — I can’t send it through the Empire delivery service, for obvious reasons. And Voltron’s location is always encrypted. I —” He stops, mouth clamping shut, because suddenly the words have become impossible to force out through the lump in his throat. He hasn’t talked to the team in weeks. He has no way of contacting them without putting them — or himself — in danger. There will be absolutely no way for Lance to send him a letter back, even if he wants to. The whole thing seems, abruptly, a painful kind of hopeless.

And yet.

“I will pass it along,” promises the Balmeran, voice flooded with kind understanding. He wraps his hands around Keith’s, squeezing once, before gently prying the letter out of his clenched fingers. “I don’t know how long it will take, but I have a someone who works in Emerg-med. She travels frequently, and should be able to take it farther than I can.”

“Thank you,” Keith chokes out, blinking rapidly.

The Balmeran smiles. “Keep strong, child.”

———

“Granddaughter,” greets the old man warmly. The young woman turns at his voice, laughing in delight when she sees him and enveloping him carefully in an embrace.

“Grandfather! You’re well!”

“I’m alive,” he corrects, teasingly.

She takes the jest in stride. “You are alive, and so you are well. I am so happy to see you.” There is genuine love in her voice. She holds tightly to his arm. “Are you staying in care long?”

He shakes his head. “No, dear. I dropped by only to see you. And,” he digs around in his pocket, carefully extracting a letter, placing it in her waiting hands, “to ask a favour.”

“A letter?”

“For the Red Paladin, from the Black.”

“I see.” She frowns thoughtfully, turning the paper over in her hands. “Last I heard, they were rebuilding on Ilso. I am going only as far as Igrendia, to visit my cousin.”

“Pass it along then,” he suggests.

She promises she will.

———

A young girl, to her cousin: “Imeld! Can you pass something along for me?”

A cousin, to her lover: “If you could drop it off at the supply camp when you stop by.”

A lover, to his father: “A friend of mine works in that fuel stop. Let him know I sent you?”

A father, to a friend of a friend: “Only a couple stops left, I reckon.”

A friend of a friend, to a friend of a friend, to a friend of a friend: “It’s almost there.

———

A friend of a friend of a friend, to a Paladin:

“I think this is yours. It’s travelled a while.”

———

A smile aches at the apples of Lance’s cheeks. Salt drips onto his tongue, and he swallows, breath shuddering.

“You — dorky asshole,” he whispers, and tucks the envelope in the secret pocket on the thigh of his undersuit.

———

Lance,

I have no idea if my last letter got to you. I hope it did, if not, here’s the rundown: you were right, I regret leaving, and I miss you.

Anyways.

Today I was on a mission in a planet that was just a huge wildflower field. Just — hundreds of hundreds of flowers, every colour you can imagine and then some. It smelled like you. I cried.

Do you remember when we snuck out of that negotiation — thing? Whatever it was? And you poked me hard in the arm and loudly complained about how much of a bummer I was being. And you dared me to roll down the hill with you. And when I was laughing at the bottom of the hill because you had just so much grass in your hair you crawled over me and kissed me like you’d been waiting to do it.

I remember how we kissed until my lips bruised after. And then we just lay there, until I got fidgety, and then you pulled us both up and walked around picking flowers and sticking them in my hair and snickering. This was the flower. Doesn’t it look like the one you brought back?

I thought of you a lot today. It hurt a little bit. A lot bit. I missed you until it ached.

I hope I see you in the flowers again soon.

I love you more than the stars

Love, and lots of it,

Keith

———

“Hey, Sedrit.”

His voice is as hushed as he can make it. He doesn’t want to wake the others. But she won’t be asleep — she never sleeps before big missions. She says it’s because the adrenaline keeps her alert, puffing up her chest. But Keith knows that she prays because she is afraid that she will die.

She doesn’t answer, so he kicks the bottom of the mattress above him. He hears a huff, and then seconds later, a curtain of hair flops over the side of the top bunk, and her wide, pupil-less eyes blink into focus.

“What do you want, shithead.”

He smiles at her guiltily. “A favour?”

“Ugh.”

But she looks at him in begrudging acceptance.

“I need you to — drop something off, when you go to El-dan. Ask another Blade there if they could pass on a letter.”

She must read his tone, because the annoyance vanishes from her expression. She reaches over and flicks him in the nose.

“Yeah, lovebird. I can pass on your letter.”

———

“Hey, man, could you send this along the next off-world?”

“What for?”

“For true love. Or because I asked you to.”

———

“I don’t know what it is. It’s classified. But it needs to get to the Red Paladin.”

———

“I heard it’s news of an ambush!”

“Well, it can’t be news now. It’s weeks old at least.”

“Yes, well, drop it off anyways. It’s Voltron business, you know.”

———

Lance’s door slide opens.

“I have — correspondence,” says Allura, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “I was informed of a possible ambush? Perhaps we should read the letter together.”

Prepared remark about greetings and knocking and why they were invented flee Lance’s tongue, and his controller clatters to the ground in his haste to meet her.

“Lemme see,” he demands, snatching the letter straight from her hands. Her protests fall on deaf ears.

You were right, I regret leaving, I miss you.

He grins.

“What is that?”

“No ambush,” he says breathlessly, floating back over to his bed. He traces the shape of every letter, the blots of smudged ink. The scratch of the words is just as important as the content of the letter, Lance has found. He’s long since memorized the first letter, but he still finds himself drawing it out of his pocket, unfolding it with a shaky sort of reverence, studying every slanted T and looped L, closing his eyes and letting the impression of the ink burn into his eyelids. The cadence of the words have become song, hummed over and over and over again in his head.

This time, there’s a drawing. It does indeed look similar to the one hanging, dried, at the head of his bed. He presses the tip of his thumb into the center of it, breathing hard, rapidly blinking away the tears so they don’t drop and ruin the paper.

“I remember,” he manages, half-choked. “I remember, I remember.”

When he looks up again, hours have passed, and Allura has long since left, closing the door quietly behind her.

———

Lance, my love,

I know we do not talk about the observation deck.

It is your sacred place, I think. When you sit in the middle of the floor and look up at the glowing stars and the planets cast shadows on your face and make your eyes shine gold as sunlight the only way to describe you is holy. The first time I ever saw you like that it made my stomach hurt. When I think about it now I miss you so much the ache spreads all the way to my teeth.

When I was a kid I read about how grief makes you hurt but time makes you forget. I read about how men begin to forget the shape of their late wives’ smile. Or the slope of her nose. I read about how children begin to forget the slant of their fathers’ shoulder. How mothers forget the way their babies curled their fist.

Missing you hurts like unravelling. You’re all I think about. I will never forget the fit of your hand in mine as long as I remember how to speak. And I will know the ridges of your teeth so long as I can taste. I will know the length of your back as long as I can walk. I will remember the curve of your lips as long as I can blink. I will know the way you glowed in floating blue starlight until my brain shuts down and my organs fail me.

Patroclus said I will know him in death and at the end of the world.

I will know you every waking second of my life, and I will make myself remember for every nanosecond in between.

Nothing will compare to holding you in my arms again.

Keith

———

Sedrit has officially been declared missing in action. A new soldier has taken her bunk.

Keith’s stomach hurts all the time, now.

“Just — one time,” Keith begs.

“You have way more training than that job requires,” says Kolivan.

“I know. I just —” He realises, suddenly, that even if he had an argument he does not have the strength to make it. The letter creases in his clenched hands. “Please.”

For a long moment the Blade leader does not speak. Keith meets his searching gaze, but his eyes are blank, unfocused. Exhaustion pulls at his features. His hood droops on his shoulders.

“In an out, Keith,” Kolivan relents finally. “A supply mission should take less than four vargas. I want you back here then and not a tick later, so you understand?”

Keith could cry in relief, but Kolivan looks stiff enough already. Should Keith express an emotion in front of him he might be forced into a total system reset, and his programming might not be prepared for that.

“Thank you,” he says instead, and rushes off before he can change his mind.

Matt is leading the supply run. This letter might land right in Lance’s hands.

———

“I’ll get it to him, Keith.”

“Thank you, Matt. I owe you.”

“Take care of yourself, man. They all miss you.”

“…I miss them too.”

———

Matt hands him the letter without a word. No one else says anything, either, when he clenched it tightly between his thumb and forefinger and walks right out of the bridge. Not even Shiro, whose gaze Lance can feel bore a hole into the back of his head.

You’re all I think about, writes Keith’s neat cursive, and Lance presses the paper to his chest and cries.

———

My Lance,

I hate it here.

I miss you.

———

Alarm bells shriek through the headquarters. Keith has become numb to them, at this point.

He slides the letter in between the pages of an intelli-file and hopes.

———

CLASSIFIED

FOR VOLTRON’S EYES ONLY

BIOMETRICS REQUIRED

WILL SELF DESTRUCT

———

There is a letter waiting on his bed when Lance gets back from his mission on Efid-d. He has not slept in three days. His vision is blurry.

He falls asleep with the paper open in his hands, mirroring the curve of Keith’s body.

———

My love,

Naxzela. Soon. I think Kolivan knows there’s something wrong. I’m gonna I might I think I can stay, for a bit. Hopefully.

Well, I will see you again. Damn it all. I don’t care about the world I don’t care about the Empire I don’t care about anything, anymore, I just want to come home —

Naxzela.

It will be weeks until I see you face to face on this mission but already everything seems less bleak. I will admit some of the anger has crept in. I feel awful. I’m trying to remember what you said, in the very beginning, before you kissed me in the flowers. When you held my hands in the purple light and said we make a good team.

I know you say you don’t remember it, you goober. You do. You get embarrassed when I bring it up, that’s how I know. You always get embarrassed when you’re caught being vulnerable.

I loved you then, you know. I didn’t know it then but I did. I thought about your hand in mine for weeks. You have always been so central to me.

Soon, sweetheart. Soon I can hold you again.

Naxzela.

———

He doesn’t bother sending this one along. He tucks it in the secret pocket on the side of his pants, and with every passing day it grows heavier and the weight on his chest grows lighter.

———

When the shield closes over the planet and Keith says, it’s been an honour serving with you all, the scream starts at the bottom of Lance’s feet. It comes up to his knees when he sees the pod speeding towards it, up to his chest when Shiro barks at him to stay in formation. It catches in his throat as he wrenches Red away.

It echoes through space when the pod hits the shield in a shower of blue sparks and grey smoke, and Prince Lotor defects to their side one nanosecond too late.

———

The beep of the healing pod synchs with Lance’s heartbeat. It can’t quite drown out the screech echoing in Lance’s head; that keeps going, and going, and going.

Soon, sweetheart.

He sobs into the half-burned paper.

———

“You better keep your promise, you dorky asshole.”

———

Healing pods have always smelt, inexplicably, of burnt hair.

He hears the slide of the glass door opening, then the whoosh of air as he pitches forward before his arms are awake enough to stop him. Luckily, he falls right into bony arms, and the smell of flowers and sunshine quickly envelops him.

“You motherfucker,” says a voice, heavy with tears, and Keith smiles.

“Hi, sweetheart,” he croaks.

His Lance sobs. The hands on the sides of his arms slide slowly down to his wrists, gripping tightly. Keith forces his eyes open, blinking away the bleariness. Lance has his own eyes squeezed shut, like he’s too afraid to look, head bowed.

Well, that simply won’t do.

“Lance, baby, look at me.”

“You motherfucker,” Lance repeats, and finally he does look up but he’s glaring angrier than Keith has ever seen him. Keith grins wider. “You motherfucker, you damn near lied to me.”

Slowly, half convinced he’ll move to fast and wake up on his bunk, alone, he reaches up and cups Lance’s cheeks. He swipes his thumbs carefully over wet cheekbones, exhaling shakily, revelling in the feel of Lance’s skin under his, finally, finally, finally.

“I’m home, Lance,” he whispers. Tears spring from his own eyes. “Sweetheart, I’m home.”

“Stay,” Lance begs, like he should have months and months ago, like he meant to, like he wanted to.

“There’s no other option,” Keith promises, and as he leans in and presses their lips together, finally, tasting the salt and licking the ridge of his teeth and swallowing every shuddering breath, he vows to never send a letter again.

He’ll tell Lance all he needs to hear himself.

———

all art by @mothmanavenue

concept from this post

[aro-paladin-pidge]

Literally why did the planets in Voltron look so good?

Like wtf they did not have to go this hard

[icypantherwrites]

Fic Update: Sword and Shield, Chapter Seven (FINAL)

Chapter snippet: Keith was at the bedside within a few steps, just in time to see Lance slowly blink open his eyes, staring at the ceiling.

He blinked again.

And then he sat up with a yelp followed by a groan and his body tipped sideways.

Keith caught him by the arm before he could fall off the bed and that drew another breathless shout, Lance’s head whipping around so fast Keith winced.

“Keith,” he gasped, eyes wide. “I… you… Red…wh-what?”

“Breathe,” Keith instructed as Lance floundered for both words and breath. And he said the words he hadn’t allowed himself to promise yet. “You’re okay.”

And at that Lance slumped forward and for a second Keith feared he’d passed out but Lance only brought a hand up to press against his heart, trembling and, as Keith had instructed, breathing.

He didn’t interrupt, letting Lance collect himself, and stepping back to give him space.

He still didn’t know how to say what needed said.

Reckless, he’d been called.

Instinctual, Keith preferred.

And hopefully that would be enough for what came next.

A few moments later Lance looked up, dark ocean plagued with none of the fever or haziness meeting Keith’s. “You saved me,” he whispered. “You… you and Red. I… th-thank you. I…”

But Keith didn’t want gratitude.

That wouldn’t keep Lance safe.

“You almost died,” Keith said, and apparently blunt was the direction he was going to take. And he didn’t regret it.

Lance flinched at that.

Keith didn’t let himself stop.

“But that wouldn’t be the first time, would it?”

Read it here

[greyfix]

Children

Title: Children

Ship: Keith Kogane/Lance McClain

Summary: Keith and Lance are children with the weight of the world on their shoulders. At only 16 and 17 years old these children were made Paladins of Voltron, Blades of Marmora, Saviors of the Universe. Those weren’t titles meant for children.

Word Count:6.1k

Requested By: n/a

Warnings/Tags: Angst, Fluff, Unresolved Emotional Tension, Pining Lance, Lance is a mess, Insecure lance, Galra Keith, Keith is bad at feelings, Keith is a mess, Blade of Marmora Keith, Blade of Marmora, Naxzela, pining keith.

Author’s Note: listen, i know i never write anymore. But, shit happens you know? 

I’m taking requests and commissions again though so hopefully that will change, i have menus posted on my linktree. You can Instagram message me ( @greyfixx ) or email me (greyandemma@gmail.com) and i’d be happy to write your stories. Thanks guys!

Ao3, Tumblr

Lance wanders the castleship often now. He spends much more time walking around aimlessly than doing anything productive that’s for sure. Hunk and Pidge seemed as though they were always making some revolutionary advances. Always inventing something or tweaking something. Lance could never keep up. 

Allura seems as though she always has some diplomatic stuff to tend to with Shiro. If you asked Lance, he’d tell you that’s just an excuse so they can do whatever they do when they're alone. Plus, hanging out with Shiro is like, well it is, hanging out with your commanding officer. It’s hard for me to be comfortable.  He would hang out with Coran sometimes, helping with some of the castle maintenance. It almost reminded him of being back home doing the chores. He never thought chores would be something he missed. 

Still, when the lonely day was done,  he had to return to the cold sterile room. It was so lifeless. Despite the trinkets he’d collected from his travels strewn around the room, the lived in clutter, it still didn’t feel like his room, no matter how hard he tried. Pictures weren’t as prominent  in space, he’d noticed, at least not hard copies or for decoration in general. I guess they went completely digital a long time ago. So it wasn’t common for one to have photos of their family hung up around their homes. He wonders if people keep photos of their families outside of earth, or if it isn’t something people generally care about? For Lance, who’d spent his whole life surrounded by his siblings, it was so terribly lonely. Almost like living in a hospital room that never had a visitor.

So he slept in his cold white bed with his thin sheets and flat pillows. He wore his thin pajamas and the unreasonably comfy castle bathrobe. This was his new normal. His new home. He’s always been so grateful for his family, the original one, and the new ones he had created along the way. That’s what made him so sad, that he had a whole family here and he still felt alone. 

It wasn’t always like this. Lance suspected that they didn’t really have enough time to worry about it as things changed. Now, between battles, there is silence. What does the silence hold for the soldiers in the war? These are the thoughts that plagued Lance as he fell asleep.. There weren’t many sweet dreams on the other side of the unconscious curtain waiting for him. 

This is how he had felt since Keith had left. On the outside they seemed to be all bitter arguments, competitive bravado, and rivalry. They both knew though, that on the inside, they were closer than anyone else on the team. And that was their business. Their banter was just that, banter. It only takes a little bit of care to see the flirting smiles and friendly wrestling through the veil. When the fighting is done and it’s time for the brains behind the scenes, Keith and Lance learned to stay out of the way. They weren’t geniuses, or commanders, or Royalty. This wasn’t their job.

Each evening he spends longing for the company he wishes he had. He wishes for just one night things could be back the way they were. He wishes that if he does have to be lonely, he shouldn’t have to be the only one. . He considers it. He also considers the embarrassment of it. Calling the Blade of Marmora Headquarters to talk to his friend because he misses him? They’ll laugh and hang up. Probably give Keith shit for it, and i don’t want to mess things up for him. We’re soldiers. We’re supposed to be doing more with our time than talking to our friends on secure military lines.

He accepts his fate. 

Though it may be silent between battles, for those who are much more than soldiers it was time to make a lot of noise.. Building a good public image. Recruiting to the cause. Diplomacy, gaining allies. Creating a Coalition.. Coran had them traveling to a new planet each and every day putting on shows and meeting people. Selling Voltron. 

It wasn’t a big deal in the beginning. Just a script reading here and there, and Lance always loved Drama as a kid, so he was more than happy to comply. It felt like filming a cheesy TV commercial, and it was fun. Over time, as the audience got larger and larger, Coran got more intense. Their characters became perverted versions of themselves. Lance was now “Loverboy Lance.” He was nothing but a good looking airhead. There wasn’t anything more to him than his ability to get laid everywhere he goes. Because that’s all it takes to be a Paladin of Voltron, apparently. 

Coran had become increasingly erratic. He’s talking differently, and twitches everywhere he goes. He’s taking dangerous risks, not only with diplomacy but with their safety.

Lance was starting to believe that that’s who he was. Maybe he is the only one who hasn’t noticed yet. He isn’t anything but who they believe he is. Loverboy. What is a loverboy without love? Just a boy. Just a boy in a play. Just a boy with the weight of the world in his universe. Just a boy. Alone. In a hospital room. 

When Lance realized that the pressure of being a part of this war drove Coran to believe he needed a brain worm to do the right thing or to be good enough. Coran, the purest being on this ship, resorted to drugs to be as good as everyone else. Lance knew he was lonely too. He wanted it to stop, because though he didn’t care too much about himself, he certainly cared about his family. 

So Lance grew angry. He was so angry all the time that his family was diminished into nothing but comic book characters. His best friend is depicted as nothing other than comedic flatulence. Pidge rendered a fraud who uses fake words. They aren’t recognized as the amazing scientists they truly are. They should be. Keith. He made Keith all angry and lonely. Can’t he see, that’s not who Keith is. 

Keith has raw power and talent. He’s the potential to do something amazing for the world. He’s an anomaly and he is so important. There is no one more important than him. 

Lance is the one filled with anger and sadness and loneliness. 

Keith is hopeful. 

And things keep piling on. He is lonely. He is sad. He is angry. And Hope is gone. 

Laying on his gurney in his cold hospital room, in his magical alien castle, Lance picked up his space tablet and dialed the space number for the secret space soldiers. 

DIAL

Lance called the Blade of Marmora’s direct communications line. 

“State your Business.” Spoke a dark gravelly voice. 

“I’m Lance, Blue Paladin of Voltron. I’m calling to speak to Keith Kogane? The red Paladin of Voltron?” He was shaking. This is pathetic. How could he be doing this right now, there’s no way Keith would want to talk to him. He’s probably got a bunch of new muscle-y galra friends.  

“Should I provide you with his direct communications line?”

Lance froze for a moment. Why wouldn’t he be able to call Keith? Why would the Blade stop him from communicating with his Paladins? That would be ridiculous. “Um yeah, yes please, that would be great, um, yeah.” He stammered out in rapid succession. 

He rattles off a bunch of numbers and symbols that Lance makes sure to write down before speaking again. “Will that be all?” 

“Um yes, thank you so–” 

Beep. 

He hung up on me!!

Once he got over the scandal that was the rudeness of what could only be referred to as the ‘galra receptionist,’ he sat in silence for a while. He stared at the string of numbers and symbols. “Keith’s Direct Communications line.” He doesn’t really know what stopped him from getting it before. 

It wasn’t long before he typed the number into his tablet.

!0070/01812/12-12! → DIAL

!0070/01812/12-12! → DIAL

!0070/01812/12-12! → DIAL

He hit the flashing dial button before he could talk himself out of it.. Inter-Galaxy phone calls didn’t have a dial tone like on earth. There’s a loading screen. If the person you’re calling hasn’t answered by the time the circle is filled, the signal will be canceled and the call will drop. Messages can be sent as well but it wasn’t customary to have your tablet on you at all times, as it would be with a phone on earth. It’s more like having an I-Pad instead of a phone. If you really wanted a response it was best to call.

The circle is barely filled in when the screen explodes in color. It was Keith. His brows furrowed and lips pursed for a moment, until his eyes widened and his teeth showed. He smiled. That wasn’t at all what Lance was expecting.

“Hey, Keith. It’s been a minute.” His voice wavers as he speaks.

“No shit! Is everything okay? You’ve never called before-” he started to look concerned again. 

“No! No not at all…” He trailed off. He knew if he said this he would never hear the end of it, but he didn’t want to start the call on such a negative note. He went with what can be interpreted positively.. “I missed you man. It’s lonely around here when you’re gone.” 

Keith laughed. When he caught Lance’s eyes and realized that he wasn’t smiling with him, his face dropped. “You don’t mean that?” 

“Of course I do. Everyone here is so much smarter and more important than me. I hang around on my own most of the time.” 

“I thought I was supposed to be the lone wolf. You’re usually a social butterfly.” 

“Everyone’s so busy I don't want to bother them.” 

“Well I haven't changed from my lonely ways, so you must annoy me like the butterfly you are.” 

“...What?” Lance held back his laughter. 

“Shut up.” 

“The butterfly I am.” The smile seeped through and before he knew it the both of them had dissolved into hysterics. 

“Shut up. I missed you too. I don’t exactly fit in here.” 

Before Keith could get another ‘shut up’ out Lance teased,“Are you sure it isn’t just because you aren’t purple?” 

“I’m pretty sure that was a little bit space racist.”

Lance gasped. 

They talked for hours upon hours. They smiled and laughed until they felt their cheeks go raw and their abs get sore. They talked until their faces turned stoick and they had run out of good things to talk about. They talk until things get serious, and then they keep talking. 

Keith tells Lance how he feels worthless because he has always been a prodigy at the things the BoM excel at. The things that Earth doesn’t hold as honor the way the Galra do. Now, he’s nothing special. 

Lance tells Keith how he feels like he’s been deluding himself into thinking he belongs. He tells him how he doesn’t believe he’s a true Paladin, and that he’s probably just a placeholder for him or Allura. That the persona that the public has for him as ‘Loverboy’ is so entirely impossible because the only person he loves is so far away that he can’t even tell him that every day. 

They talk about how lonely they are. And they promise each other that though things can never be perfect, they will always keep each other company. 

However, as many hours as they wish they could spend together, everything comes to an end. Keith has private training early in the mornings and the Castleship will be landing in a different timezone. So for Lance, first thing in the morning is about 4 in the afternoon (If you think about earth time, measurements are fine and dandy in altean, but dates are hell.)  and he has to go straight to a diplomatic dinner party. 

They say their goodbyes, and part with smiles on their faces. 

When Lance turns over on his bed, his pillow is wet until the morning. Or 4 O’Clock in the alien planet’s evening He wakes up sore from his hiccupping breaths and dry from the salt on his skin. 

Keith on the other hand forces himself to fall asleep immediately. When he wakes up he throws himself into training. He doesn’t apologize to himself or anyone else for the extra bruises he cost that morning. Anyone who spoke to him was met with a scathing comment about their mother. Most stood clear of him that day. 

That night was too good to be true. 

They spend months in this circle of suffering. Each day they would spend in anticipation of the joy they would feel when they saw each other. By the time they are able to get on the phone, they can’t stop smiling. 

The joy lasts for a while. For a few hours. But every night the call has to end. Every night they have to say goodbye again. Every night they come crashing down from their high. They are hit with the weight of the various crises and the pressure only increases with the added emotions. At the end of the call, they have to say goodbye. Every night. 

And I can't even say I Love You.

For Lance, the worst part is that no one noticed. He spent his days finally in a better mood, and his friends weren’t phased. It was such a dramatic change, how could a friend not notice the smiles that had grown so scarce. How could they not notice the bags under his eyes were gone, and he was no longer covered in bruises from his early morning training bot sessions. He felt so much better yet to his friends it was as though nothing had changed. Or they didn’t care to notice. 

The Blade of Marmora was absolutely baffled by Keith’s change. Though Keith was much better at hiding it, he had learned in his months spent with the Blade that Galra rely on their sense of smell for this kind of thing much more than they would rely on their interpretation of body language. Pheromones change and there is nothing you can do about it. The Galra use it to communicate, though generally in passing the smell is like hearing the hum of conversation in a large crowd. 

He didn't notice it at first. He thought he was imagining the stares he could feel grazing the back of his neck. It took one of the other people in his training group giving him shit to realize it. 

“You need to learn how to keep your scent under control..” 

“... What?”

“You’re scent. We can all tell you’re excited or anticipating, or whatever, you don’t need to broadcast it, have a little control.” 

“What do you mean by my scent? You’re sniffing me??”

“Dude what?” 

“I have no clue what you’re talking about.”

“Ha ha very funny. Just keep it to yourself man.”” 

“Seriously, I have no clue what you’re talking about. I’m a little bit concerned because on earth we don’t exactly make a habit of smelling each other.”” 

“Earth?” 

“Yeah? Haven’t you noticed I'm not exactly purple?”

“I mean, yeah, but I didn't realize you were from the middle of nowhere. I’ve never even heard of that country.” 

“It’s a planet.”

Keith could tell that he is holding back his laughter now. 

“The Empire hasn’t gotten as far as my planet yet, so I didn't know I was part galra until very recently.  

“I don’t know if i’m the person to explain it to you, i don’t have the greatest understanding of it myself either.”

“Just tell me before someone else does.”

“I think it’s like pheromones? We can smell the hormones and the smell changes with your emotions.”

Keith sighed,  before stalking back off to his room. This was the first time he contacted Lance during the day. 

Keith: I just found out galra can sense pheromones. 

Lance: You wut?

Keith: Apparently depending on our emotions we smell different.

Lance: Can you? Smell emotions?

Keith: I never thought about it. I definitely smell a lot more than humans can. One of the Blades told me that most galra learn to control it. Maybe humans don’t emit strong enough pheromones for me to smell. 

Lance: Is it like, rude to have emotions? 

Keith: I wouldn’t be surprised. Galra never seemed like a race of emotionally sensitive people. 

There were invisible boundaries. To keep them from having too much hope, too much happiness. At first the boundary was just speaking to each other in general, because of course they couldn’t be happy together if they weren’t together. 

Lance, evidently, broke that one. Keith wished it were never there in the first place. 

Keith was the one to break the next boundary and Lance was overjoyed. He kept his tablet on him at all times, though he was careful not to let anyone see. He wanted to keep this to himself. Just for now. 

Each time he got a message from Keith, he had to force himself to not smile. It was becoming a problem. At least for a while. 

Soon, not only were the nights terrible, but the days became just as painful. The light drains out of the both of them as they no longer spend their days in excitement to speak to each other but in increasing agony over their distance. Their feelings for eachother grow larger and stronger. So strong that every moment they aren’t allowed to feel it hurts more. 

They lose the time to talk. The war is becoming back to back battles once again. Manpower is needed more than ever so not only is Voltron busy, but so is the Blade. The Coalition is a lot, but there is only so much. It’s difficult to organize universe wide diplomatic meetings, even for Allura.

The lows that follow leaving each other bleed into the days when no time can be found to speak. They bleed into the days where all that can be spoken of us ugly. The days of war. Of death. Of sacrifice. The days where the fight for freedom goes on and the soldiers grow weary. 

Still the same problems prevailed. Lance’s turmoil continued to go unnoticed. He continued to be invisible in his own home amongst his own family. 

Keith longed for his family. For Lance. He wished he could be with them. He wished so hard that it was very apparent to anyone who had a sense of smell worth their salt knew. He was now considered a flight risk. This he scoffed at. As if I’d leave all of you to die just to go home. That’s the catch. His love for his family and his refusal to allow lives to be lost to an empire as vial as Zarkons. He won’t abandon the war, not even for his own happiness. 

Then the day comes. There is a planet called Naxzela. It’s primarily a military outpost for the empire. If the Coalition is able to take and free Naxzela from Empire control, they will have gained control of a third of the Galran Empire. 

The entire Coalition is gathered, doing their best to stop the Empire, around a planet called Naxzela. They fight with everything they have. Every second, someone dies. Every second a ship falls from the sky, not only on their side, but on the Coalition's side as well. 

Voltron is on that planet. Keith’s family is on that planet. Lance is on that planet. Keith fights harder. Another ship drops from the sky. Another. Another. Another. Another. 

Voltron returns. Alive. That’s the good news though, an when it comes to war, it never outweighs the bad. They come back with information. They say the planet had been habitable only because of Altean terraforming technology. Haggar had tapped into this technology and turned the planet into a bomb. The battleship is the detonator. Both the planet and the ship are protected by shields. 

The whole Coalition opens fire. 

Not a scratch. 

“Maybe not with our weapons.” 

Keith takes off, dodging the lasers he soars directly towards the battleship. If our weapons can’t take down the shields, we need something more. The full force of a Blade of Marmora fighter ship just might work. 

If i don’t succeed we will all die. At least this way only one of us is gone. At least this way the pain will go away. 

He didn’t close his eyes as he approached his death. He wasn’t afraid. He knew this was the right thing to do. He chose this, he would not shy away from it. So he looked right at the thin purple glow that would be the end of him. He stared and confronted his death. The veil blinked out of existence.

He jerked the ship away and went sailing just by the edge of the ship. He had stopped listening to the commotion on his audio comm. It was time to tune back in. 

Lotor. 

Lotor had saved his life. 

After the battle, Keith finally was able to return to the Castleship. To return home. Immediately when he steps off his ship a force knocks into him and he nearly topples him over. It’s so warm. He can smell him. He really is home. 

“You fucking idiot!” Anyone could tell that Lance is screaming, despite the fact that he’s muffled by Keith’s shoulder. “How dare you.” 

Keith doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t know which words to choose. He is so happy and so sad. So he is quiet. 

He is quiet and so is Lance as they walk to the infirmary. They ignore the aftermath of the battle. They ignore the Paladins, the rebels, the Blades. They ignore anyone trying to get their attention. Hand in hand, they are the silence between the battles. Lance's eyes are soft when the pod closes. Keith is glad that is the last thing he sees before falling into a deep sleep. 

It is three days before he leaves the pod. Lance waits there in the infirmary the whole time. Coran says that most of his injuries weren’t from the battle. There were minor bruises, sprains, even some fractures from weeks past littered across his body. 

Lance waits for three days and he doesn’t say a word to anyone besides Coran when he’s questioning after Keith’s progress.  Even then his speech is limited. This is when his family finally notices they’ve missed something. 

Over these three days Lance practically moves in. One of the gurneys is claimed as his. The white floors are littered with the tissues he hasn’t bothered to pick up. The bowls and spoons he used for the occasional food goo have created a pile in the corner. There are five blankets. Two on Lance’s gurney (he’d always thought they were too thin) and three laying on the floor just by Keith’s pod. One to lay on, two to keep him warm when he sleeps on the cold white metal. 

He spent a lot of time thinking, while he waited. He thought about a lot of things. Mainly how he almost lost Keith. He almost lost Keith before he was even able to tell him how he truly feels. He spent a lot of this time regretting. He regretted not telling him the most. They both knew. They knew their lives were on the line and they made that their reason to live in fear. They chose that as their reason to not take responsibility for themselves, their reason to run from their own feelings, their reason to punish themselves.

This is war. Lance realized. This is war, and I am brave enough to be fighting it. I should be allowed to love before I die.. Especially if I'm risking my life for theirs. To make sure they don’t have to. If I die out here I don't want to die in regret, never having lived my truth. 

The fourth morning he laid awake on his blankets staring up at Keith. He didn’t look ill at all anymore. He must be almost completely healed by now, he looked just like the Keith that had left. Almost. He had grown taller, his hair had gotten longer. He joked about it being a mullet before, but now it was more than long enough to be braided. He wished he could, it was something he did for his sisters back home. 

His thoughts are interrupted when he hears the electronic schwooop of the pod-shield lowering. He doesn’t have time to get up on his feet before Keith is toppling down. 

“It’s okay. I’ve got you. You’re safe.” Lance says immediately, when Keith falls into his arms. He holds him tightly. It isn’t long before Keith does the same. They both know that Coran and Allura would have been alerted to Keith’s discharge from the pod and would be heading down to check on him. They took the time they had alone to hold onto each other. 

“Is this real?” Keith asks, his voice is so meek. So thin and quiet. 

“Yes, my love. This is real. I’m here. You’re safe.” 

Keith melts into Lance's arms. “I’m home?” 

“You’re home.” 

They hear footsteps outside the infirmary door before they see anyone. They aren’t surprised to see the whole team walk in. They would all want to see Keith when he was better. Lance wasn’t the only one who had missed him. He was family.It would be wrong if they didn’t want to see him after the stunt he’d pulled either.  

Shiro is the first to stalk into the room, with his big muscular body and his big powerful steps. “What the hell is going on here Lance? You’ve been uncollaborative and disrespectful for long enough. It ends now.” He shouts in his best commanding officer voice. 

Keith flinches. Lance squeezes him for a moment, before standing up. “You lost your right to give me orders. If i’ve been ‘uncollaborative and disrespectful’ then it’s obviously been a long time since you’ve looked in a mirror. Especially when your reaction to seeing your brother for the first time in months fall out of a pod because he nearly killed himself.” 

Shiro opens his mouth to speak only to be cut off. This time it is Coran. 

“I think he’s right, Shiro.” His voice is tense and serious. This never happens. “Let the boy speak.” 

Lance almost smiled. It seemed, recently, that Coran was the only one who truly cared. At the very least, he understood. 

“Keith almost dies, and your reaction when he comes out of a pod, three days later probably still coming down from an adrenaline high not only from his near death experience but from the drugs that pod pumped him full of. Your brother comes home from zero contact and your reaction is to storm in and make demands?” Lance speaks to his family. He speaks to his family in a situation other than battle for the first time in weeks. Months. “You really think you’re the one who deserves answers?” 

Lance kneels next to Keith once again. “You need food, water, and to relax.” His voice was soft now. “Do you want to go back to the bedrooms and wait for me there?”

Keith stands up. “I’m going to stay here. With you.” Same old Keith he sounds like. Only Lance could hear the slight quiver in his voice. 

“Lance?” Hunk spoke, concerned, “Buddy, what’s going on? What are we missing?” 

Lance almost laughed. It was a surprise to him. He hadn’t smiled without Keith in a long time. This wasn’t the context he wanted that to happen under. “What have I been doing?” He said decidedly.

Hunk looked confused. 

“What do you mean by that?” Pidge. 

“These last few months. What. Have. I Been. Doing>”

“The same as the rest of us.” Pidge spoke in that matter of fact way of hers.

“Yeah, you helped with the performances. You're loverboy Lance!”

“Exactly. I was Loverboy Lance. That explains so much.” Lance decides that they won’t ever realize on their own. He must open their eyes himself. He must be the one to hurt them. “When have you ever seen me do more than flirt with someone? When was the last time I went home with one, or brought one here? Hell, when was the last time I went on a date?” 

Silence. 

“I flirt. I sign autographs, I joke, and I tease. I have never been a player. I’ve never been Loverboy Lance, not in the way we showed the public. That’s not who I am. Just the same as any of you. Hunk, you are so much more than comedic flatulence, Pidge you aren’t a fraud you’re a genius and you know enough words to fill the script with that the audience will go home knowing how to turn their garbage disposal into a roomba. Allura, you’re your own Paladin, not Keith and there are so many amazing things about you that would make you just as interesting as Keith. 

“Keith isn’t the Lone Wolf. He’s just lonely, he always has been. None of us ever pur in the effort to change that, so why would he in return?” Lance turned to Hunk. “You were my best friend, Hunk, and this hurts so much. It hurts so much to know that you can’t see me for who I really am. I look at all of you and see my family and then I wonder, where did you go?” 

“I spent these last few months in Silence. I knew I wasn't good enough to keep up with you Pidge, Hunk. So I stayed away. I knew I would never live up to your expectations, Shiro, so I didn't bother with you either. I knew you didn’t want me around Allura, so I didn't stick around. I knew i would be left behind. 

“Eventually I stopped speaking.”

Lance stopped then. He took a deep breath. “None of you noticed. My own family had made me feel as though I didn't belong, and so I stopped belonging. Of course you guys were so caught up in being amazing that you didn’t notice. That much I don't care about. This is what is important. 

“How old are you, Pidge?” 

“I’m fifteen, you know that.” 

“Hunk?”

“17.” 

“Back on earth, none of us would be considered an adult. We wouldn’t be allowed to go through the airport alone. We wouldn’t be allowed to buy alcohol. We wouldn’t be allowed to have an input in our government. We would be children. 

“Here, on this ship, far away from our planet. We are war heros. We live in a castle that doubles as a spaceship, or a spaceship that doubles as a castle, and we are Paladins. We fight in battles on a larger scale than any one of our ancestors have ever fought in. We are soldiers.” 

Lance could feel the tears streaming down his face. “More importantly though, we are children.” 

Lance stalked out of the room. 

Keith followed. Even when he’d caught up, Lance didn’t slow down. He was sobbing now. Just like he had each night when they ended their calls. This time, however, Keith was there. This time he could intertwine their fingers. “Lance.” 

When they finally arrived at Lance's bedroom, hospital room, whichever you prefer it’s all the same to him,they both sat up on the bed. Keith held Lance as he cried. He cried and cried and cried and cried. They didn’t know how long they’d been there, but it didn’t truly matter. What did matter was that they were together. Between the sobs Keith could hear Lance mumble something just clearly enough to respond. 

“I love you too.” 

Lance looked up, those deep blue eyes so sad and so afraid, yet so full of hope. He looked intensely at Keith. “We are just children, I did mean what I said back there. We could die at any moment. I don’t want to let that stop us anymore.” 

“What do you mean by that?” 

“I love you Keith, and I don't want to live my life in fear of losing you. I want to use the time we have. This war would last the rest of our lives, whether they end early or decades from now. Why should we waste it?” 

Keith had never thought of it that way. He had let the thought of losing Lance consume him so deeply that he’d never thought of how it might feel to have him fully. “You’re right.” 

“I want to be with you. At this point I think it’s hurting us more to stay apart than it would to be together. Well I guess it’s hurting me, I can't really speak for you – Wait what did you say?” 

“I said you’re right. We should take advantage of the time we have.” 

Lance was speechless. 

“If you leave your mouth open any longer you might catch flies. I told you you were right, don’t get used to it.” 

Lance had been a man of words all night. He was sick of it. He grabbed onto Keith’s jawline and pulled his lips toward his own. He was so warm, like fire against his skin as they kissed. They’d been playing this game for so long. The kiss was the greatest thing Lance had ever experienced, or at least it felt like it in that moment. They kissed for a long time. Longer than they should. 

It was Keith that finally broke the kiss. He only broke away for a moment, before burying his face in Lance’s shoulder. 

“We have to talk about it, you know.” 

“Not now. You make me so happy. I just want to be happy right now. It’s been so long since I've been happy.”

“That’s okay. You’re allowed to be happy. That’s our mission from now on. Happiness.” 

They spent the night in Lance's room. They took their last opportunity to relax. After everything that has happened, not only over the course of the last few hours, but over the course of the last few days, weeks, months. They deserve peace, even if only for a moment. 

The next morning they walked out to breakfast hand in hand. They had a calm conversation with their team. With their family. They spoke about how they felt so alone. They spoke about how they’ve spent so long being too afraid of  death to love each other. They spoke about how they are so scared all the time, but never scared for themselves. They would all die for the cause at a moment’s notice, but they still feared the death of their friends and family. 

Everyone shared how they felt, not only Lance and Keith. Pidge shared how scared she was. She was so young. Hunk shared how he felt so guilty for being the cowardly one, and wishes he could be brave like the rest of the Paladins. Allura tells them how she believes that she is only a Paladin because of her father, as though it was some sort of obligation. Shiro expressed that he was so afraid he wasn’t qualified to be the leather of a universal revolution. Coran worries he isn’t useful. 

They all feel so alone. So isolated that they couldn’t find comfort in their own family. 

They came to an understanding. Allura and Shiro, and Coran realized they were wrong for putting so much pressure on a bunch of teenagers that didn’t know what they were getting into. Keith, Lance, Hunk, and Pidge all realized that they didn’t have to pretend to be braver than they were. 

Especially because they were the bravest in the universe. 

Even war heroes are allowed to have a weakness. 

Especially if they’re children.

[hotdogcabbagesausage]

okay like i knew it was coming bc i know all the spoilers but. 4x06. WHAT THE FUCK. AND THE WAY PROBABLY NO ONE EXCEPT MATT KNOWS WHAT HE TRIED TO DO. I AM SO.

[1-800-internal-damnation]

Was thinking about that f1 au and trying to figure out what it is about keith that makes me think he would in general be an extreme sports person. Idk what it is but I can always see him as someone who would do car or bike racing, motocross, surfing, etc. He'd be one of those red bull people that do bike flips off cliffs or some shit

[lilflowerpot]

When the paladins were hearing “the song of the void”, it was pidge and hunk who didn’t hear it (i think). However, in s1 ep1, Keith arguably almost killed the paladins by doing a nosedive on other his hover bike (which I thought was hilarious), Or maybe he’s just that skilled that they were no where near death

((as a quick refresher to save anyone who sees this from having to re-read the entire druidic lab arc, Lotor, Shiro, Keith, & Lance all heard the not-rhyahl's cry, while Allura, Hunk, Matt, & Pidge did not))

“I couldn’t see it before- the common thread, I mean. Only half our party heard that creature’s cry, and though it was no true rhyahl, I suppose it must have been rhyahl enough to possess Sa’s tongue… Sa Kyl, the druids call it: the Song of the Void. While named for the catatonic state induced by that creature which once walked Daibazaal’s scorched earth, the term was extended to include those unseen battles fought by warriors from all walks of life; though the particulars of that which one fights may vary, the aftereffects are not dissimilar. [...] The ancients believed that once Sa has had a taste of you, she never quite forgets.” - Lotor, Little Blade, chapter 22

I,,, really don't equate that s01ep01 jump with anything even remotely close to the severity of Naxzela. While it was certainly something that scared the hell out of Pidge/Lance/Hunk in the moment, it was still a far cry from being a near-death experience; Keith really is, as you say, "that good" and it's evident from the confidence with which he executes the maneuver.

[[ Hunk: "Guys? Is that a cliff up ahead?" / Keith: "Yup." / Hunk, Lance, Pidge: "Nononono-!" ]]

Look at that face?? That little smirk as he accelerates?? Keith has every confidence in his skill as a pilot, and that jump (as we later learn, when we see his pre-Kerberos memories of Shiro) isn't something he did because he'd run out of options and had no other way to escape his pursuers, but rather a move taught to him years ago by the Garrison's golden-boy himself, and therefore likely something he's practiced and perfected ever since.

But think of it this way: you've probably had a handful of theoretical close calls in your life yourself—perhaps you stepped out into the road when you shouldn't have and almost got clipped by a car, for example—and while those situations in all likelihood had your heart beating a mile a minute, they don't necessarily traumatise you in the way that it would were you actually hit by the car,,,,,, or, say, seconds away from flying into a magical space-barrier with the intention of turning both your ship and yourself into a bomb all to prevent a substantially bigger bomb plated by your enemy from detonating and blowing up everyone you love.

[jiveyuncle]

Keith never believed he'd have a long life. He always figured he'd die young and that his death would serve some purpose. He'd die taking a hit for a teammate. Or go up in the flames of a violent explosion while dragging a civilian out of a targeted building. Or crashing his ship at Naxzela to prevent an entire system from being incinerated.

Keith was going to die. He was going to die young. His death would mean something.

He thought these things were a given - facts inscribed on the essence of his being - as unavoidable as a dream, programmed into him the way sleep always eventually demanded dragging creatures to realities outside their own.

Keith was reckless, not because he didn't value his own life - that value could be measured by what he did with it and what he could achieve by risking it - but because he valued others’ more. He was reckless because he cared too much - about the success of the mission, about someone left behind, about everything and everyone else - and that caring was going to be what got him killed. His paladin teammates shouted it at him after every rash decision. His blade comrades acknowledged it with approving nods after each close call. He would easily give up his life if his death meant someone else was saved.

So, when he wakes inside Red, blinking his eyes open only to come face to face with himself in the pilot's chair, things don't click right away. It's not that Keith is dead - that part he accepts instantly, understands on some subconscious level in the same inexplicable way the astral plane connects minds and quintessence links paladins to their lions - but it's the how that his brain isn't processing. It's not that he is staring at his own slumped lifeless body, but it is the trusted Blade member he'd been tasked with transporting to a location to disclose the latest intel on Galran troop movements simply dislodging their blade from Keith's neck, tucking the knife away in their armor, walking to the exit, and leaving as if nothing had just happened. It’s Pidge joking into the comms of Keith's helmet, and Lance joking back, completely unaware of the fact that in a moment, without fight, without reason or warning, without some big sacrificial act, Keith just ceased to exist.

It takes them 15 seconds to write off Keith's lack of a response to the joke as him being peeved about being the butt of it.

It takes them 5 minutes before Lance starts offering lighthearted apologies in the form of backhanded compliments.

It takes them 15 minutes to discover that Keith isn't at the meetup location at the time they agreed on and to realize something is actually wrong.

They find Keith's body cold.

There's a lot of panic that feels much too sudden and extreme after drifting through space with his own corpse in the quiet cabin for so long - too many emotions in his friends faces, loud cracking voices, shaking hands.

Lance presses a palm to the gash in Keith's neck and grabs a control arm with the other, begging Red to take them home. He can't feel how cold Keith's skin is through the climate-controlled gloves of his suit, but he has to recognize there is no pulse beneath his fingertips. “If you've ever loved Keith,” he pleads anyway, as if he doesn't already know.

They rush his body out like getting him to a pod will be of any help.

Keith can’t feel his body, but he feels tears on the floor of the cockpit and the vibration of feet down Red's ramp. He doesn’t sense pain, but he tastes his own congealed blood in the chair and, later, the antiseptic Coran returns with.

This is how Keith dies. Quietly. Without purpose. Alive one moment, and then not - wiped away with a cleaning rag beneath clenched fists, secret shuddering breaths, and a mouth whispering his name for the first time alongside words of regret.

Dead Keith/Red Paladin Lance AU (Part 2/?)

The event that set things in motion.

I’ve always wanted a canon story where the main character dies in some anticlimactic way, but I don’t ever see it because I assume it would really anger a fanbase or just feel really dissatisfying. The big question of, “For what reason? What purpose did that death serve?” And the reality is, death doesn’t usually come in the form of sacrifice or to satisfy some narrative. I’m obsessed with the idea of someone so important, a character who has lived through so many close calls just dying in such a simple and unexpected fashion - of dying without anyone knowing. It has to really fuck with Keith’s teammates extra bad - suddenly not knowing who they can trust, wondering any time there’s silence on the comms if one of their other friends just died without them noticing. Them each picking up little habits to signal to the others that they’re okay - Lance humming, Pidge tapping her fingers near the mic, Shiro clearing his throat, Hunk popping his lips. Uhg.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

You can now read this on AO3 as:

Empty Spaces You Left Behind

[foolinafable]

i. slipping through my fingers

SYNOPSIS: He doesn’t know how to love. You know this and yet you would still give everything just to be with him- even for just a moment. Or the story of how you and Keith finally get together. PAIRING: Keith Kogane x Altean reader WORD COUNT: 3.1K TAGS: Slowburn, Angst, extreme cannon compliance SERIES LINK: a love as cold as ours

NEXT →

NOTE: Barely edited

Keith was always cold, you knew he didn’t mean to be- it was just who he was but it didn’t make this any easier.

You knew you felt something for him a long time ago much like Lance with Allura. You wouldn’t call it love or more like you couldn’t allow yourself to because how can you love someone that isn’t yours. Sometimes you even doubt that you are friends with him as his standoffish nature sometimes catches you off guard. So why in Altea would you even imagine having anything with him. Every time you see him it’s like a knife is being stabbed in your chest because you know that he could never love you the way you try to do him. 

He explained it best himself- how he prefers his own company and would regularly choose to be alone rather than with other people. You suppose it has to do with his childhood, where he told you for the most part he was all alone with no parents or family to stay and show him unconditional love.

Even knowing all of this doesn’t make it any easier- it doesn’t make you want to be with him any less, rather it just fuels your inner turmoil. It was hard enough being one of the only alteans left alive, your friends, family, nation and your king dead.

Honestly, you're only making it harder on yourself by falling for one of the only people in the universe that as he put it “Can’t love, and doesn’t want to.” 

You suppose this is why it was easy to say goodbye, well easier than you thought it would be.

He had been distancing himself from all the team, spending more time with the blade of Marmora, constantly failing to show up for the team. You were overjoyed for Shiro when he was able to reconnect with the black lion, the whole team was more than fed up with Keith's new non-committal attitude towards them and was happy to have a leader again.

So when Keith did show up, late as usual for a mission, you simply sat back and watched as the other paladins ripped him a new one about how important your work is even if he doesn't see it that way, as he claimed that the work he was doing with the blades was “more important” an audible scoff could be heard coming from you at that comment. Not even bothering to look at him when his gaze turned to you, knowing that if you looked at him he would see the sadness clouding over you, because you knew that now the black lion had accepted Shiro again, Keith wasn't needed anymore.

You zoned out as he told the team of his departure, joining in the group hug to say goodbye to him, but leaving it at that. Knowing that if you had a private conversation it would only end in your tears and his guilt because while you would give anything to be with him, you realised a long time ago that there is nothing that you could give to make that happen. You can’t make him want you.

Him leaving made it easier. Not seeing him every day like you used to and, honestly, having to work with him as you did only made your longing worse and without him here, well there was no room for those emotions anymore. The coalitions planning for the takeover of Naxzela had taken up everyone's time, it was the only thing you could think of, allowing you to put your feelings for him far back into your mind. Blocking it out if you will because there is no time for you to be moping around.

The day of the planned invasion came quickly, it was almost as if the time whipped past you, barely able to recall what happened during the time prior to this day, except for Keith's departure- that you believe will always be engraved into your memories. Nerves couldn’t help but rack you as you walked suited up towards your lion, it all just seemed too easy, a sentiment Pidge shared with you not even the night prior, her words echoing in your mind throughout the battle, you tried to rationalise it as this mission wasn't just Voltron they also had the rebels and the blade, so a lot more manpower. But, in your opinion, it almost seemed like the galra were not fighting for Naxzela but rather fighting to escape.

Voltron was leading the ground effort now, the blades and rebels working as artillery support via the Ziaforge cannons, all seemed to be going fine until Matt and Keith's cannons were remotely turned off by an incoming galra cruiser. However, Shiro was confident

���Naxzela is almost secure, the cruiser is going to be too late!”

Voltron battled with more ships on the ground, and like he said you only needed to take out the last of the heavy artillery then it was over. Lance and Pidge quickly created a shield on the left as per Shiro's instruction, blocking another heavy blast from the galrans, you all grunting at the impact of the large beam trying to keep the robot together and steady on the ground. Lance and Pidge were able to use the shield to push the beam back and you watched with a bated breath as the beam shot back towards the ship, destroying it completely. Voltron flew into the air, Hunk using his cannon to destroy the rest of the artillery support on the ground.

You all sat in your lions and watched Naxzela being blown up- a third of the galran empire gone in one swoop. Voltron landed on the ground again, somewhat unsteady. 

“Woah, did we cause that earthquake?” you heard Lance exclaim over comms as you braced yourself against your control panel.

 “I dont think so!” Pidge quickly replied as you all cast your gases towards the floor

“Something wrong” you mumbled slightly to yourself, eyes going wide when Allura agreed with you. Then the rumbling seemed to increase and alarms started blaring when Hunk halted

“Guys look over there” and the robot turned to see the ground rising behind you, large galran pillars with purple markings now towering over Voltron.

“Uh, guys, what are those?” Lance asked, trying to seem calm, but looking over at his video you could see the furrowing of his brows in worry as he looked up at these new landforms.

“We’ve never seen anything like this from the galra before” Pidge continued, eyes wide. 

“Are they weapons?” Hunk questioned while Pidge tried to guess 

“They look like some sort of generators'' 

You felt a heavy weight on you as you asked “Allura, can you feel it?” and she simply nodded, also confused as to what these were and why they were making her feel heavy and uneasy. 

“Stay alert” Shiro commented, feeling the nerves of his team as Lance interjected 

“I think we should get out of here! Pidge plot a course for our escape” but Shiro didn’t agree with the second in command 

“Hold off, we should try to find out what these things are'' You took a sharp breath as the pillars lit up with quintessence, the top of the towers sprouting out with some sort of electricity, and then the purple light spread across the atmosphere of Naxzela, creating a purple shield. 

“This can’t be safe” Hunk declared as the purple shield covered the top of the Voltron blocking the view of space. 

“Do you feel that '' Allura copied your earlier words adding “That wave of darkness” and you could, it settled deep into your body making you shiver when Allura started grunting out in pain.

Then a pressure came down upon the robot as everyone started panicking, you were no longer able to move your lion. Voltron quickly fell onto its hands and knees from the pressure as Pidge screamed 

“This energy field is holding us down! Gravity levels are spiking!” Shiro grunted before he commanded 

“We need to get out of here, if we stay here we will be crushed. So we need to focus” At his words you tried to dispel as much of your worry as possible knowing he was right- you wouldn't get anywhere being afraid

“Give it everything you’ve got and maybe, we can make it through this energy field”  he continued.

Then with all the paladins' might they were able to lift off the ground but soon after the metal of the lion creaked and they were brought right back down the ground, like a magnet. You could hear the screaming of the other paladins as you fell backwards mixing in with your own, and then Voltron crashed down onto the ground of Naxzela. 

“Is anyone able to move around?” Hunk questioned as Pidge quickly answered 

“Barely, but the gravitational pull is worse on Voltron” she grunted from overexertion then spoke again “Maybe if we can get down to the surface Hunk and I can figure out a way to interrupt the energy field!” you hummed in thought as Lance spoke 

“That sounds good, except for the zillion robot dudes still kicking around down there!” you all looked towards Shiro for some sort of guidance as he says 

“We are going to have to watch out for each other out there, tight formations, now let's move” Then he left the black lion. You all joined him in leaving your lions grunting heavily as you used your jet packs to get to the surface, parkouring off Voltron. You all jumped towards one of the pillars barely missing the lasers being shot at you, all quickly turning on your shields as you landed on the pillar bodies turned towards the shooters.

Pidge and Hunk quickly took refuge behind you four, trying to find out what was causing this energy, but they couldn't find anything so as Allura said you needed to follow the pillars down to the core in hopes of figuring it out Hunk was able to open the door to the pillar.

“It's open let's go!”  Pidge exclaimed and you all piled in, jumping down towards the core of the planet. “Woah” the green paladin spoke in awe you had made it to the bottom of the planet, a door opening up revealing a large purple orb, and you agreed it was certainly amazing to look at- whatever it was.

 “What is that?” Lance spoke your thoughts aloud

 “This is Zarkons witches doing” Allura commented walking closer to the large orb in the centre of the room 

“So this is the source of that dark energy?” you questioned as Allura nodded as Shiro looked up at the room 

“Allura, this facility, it looks altean”

“This is a decommissioned altean teafroming plant, somehow the witch has been able to reactive it remotely,” she confirmed his suspicion, you all walked closer to the orb, now in touching distance you couldn’t believe you had never seen this before on altea 

“Can you shut it down” the black paladin asked 

“I can try.” Allura put her hand towards the orb, a light of quintessence shining from her palm touched the orb when she screamed out in pain, the orb seemingly wrapped itself onto her arm in a vine-like structure. You all quickly called out her name as you grabbed onto her, trying to pull her away from the orb, all grunting due to its sheer power, luckily you were able to slowly drag her away, causing you all to fall backwards onto the floor when the orb let go of her. 

Lance quickly helped her up as she spoke “It’s too powerful” 

You all turned towards Hunk as he grunted, trying to get up, looking towards his hand “This soil- is weird, it's so white and powdery, like ground-up rocks or earth” You could see his helmet examining the soil, probably giving him a breakdown of the material when he gasped

“It’s Heximite!”

 Then lasers started shooting at you again, the soldiers from earlier had finally caught up to you, and you all quickly activated your shields with Hunk and Lance activating their shooters, shooting back at the galrans. Pidge quickly used her lasso to electrocute and bring down another soldier 

“What's hexamite? Some of us may have slept through chemistry!” Lance asked

Smiling at his antics you replied “It’s a highly explosive material” your own words making you stop in thought the words only now registering in your brain but Pidge luckily continued as you figured out what this meant

 “The whole planet is a bomb! One big enough to wipe out several solar systems!” Hunk then interjected,

“It’s under increasing pressure, and when it reaches the point of no return, the whole planet will explode!” 

Shiro tried to seem calm as he asked the next question “How long do we have?” 

Hunk while shielding himself thought  “Maybe twenty minutes'' 

While Lance continued to blast at the soldiers “We need to get off this planet and warn everyone!” As you took down the soldiers, more seemed to appear through the doors

 “Anyone within 10 solar systems of ours is going to get blown to pieces!” Hunk exclaimed. 

“They could take out Voltron, the rebels and the blade in one fell swoop!” Allura concluded as you gasped

 “It was all a trap for us and we fell right into it!” then you activated your jet packs as you tried to escape the soldiers as time was really running out.

 From within Voltron Shiro was trying to reach anyone through the comms, but nobody was responding. 

Shiro sighed “We’ve lost communications, Pidge, can you boost our signal?” 

 You could hear Pidge clicking buttons before she replied worriedly “No! There is too much electrostatic repulsion!” 

Worry was wracking your body causing your hands to fidget like mad as Hunk not so helpfully spoke “17 minutes'' 

Allura then spoke, “We have to get off this planet- immediately!” moving her controls as she was able to get the blue lion off the ground resulting in Voltron being able to stand straight, however, the weight of Voltron against the already pressurised ground make the rocks crack and fall beneath them, causing Voltron to fall further into the depths of Naxzela. 

“Oh no, we have fallen even further down!” Lance comentated as Voltron luckily landed on its feet seemingly in a deep cave.

 “15 minutes'' Hunk exclaimed to which you retorted

 “Really not very helpful Hunk!” your voice is shaking.

 “No, no! We can't die just yet!” Pidge willed. 

“Listen'' Shiro started “We have gone through a lot as Voltron, we just have to think.” 

Then it hit Lance as he turned his comms towards you and Allura

“You both felt the darkness at the start, and you both have a connection to the magic, you both must be able to get us out of this'' 

to which Allura stressed “We haven't been trained”

She was correct back on Altea you were both novices. You had only started your lessons when Zarkon attacked and Allura had been told by Alfor that lesson wouldn't be necessary for her as she would be too busy learning to be the future leader of the nation.

But maybe together you could figure something out you simply looked to Allura and Lance and nodded as you closed your eyes and focused on your energy and Alluras as the both of you connected to each other it was like your quintessence merged together and your powers began to seep out of the two of you and into Voltron, lighting up the entire robot, turning it back on and giving it more power, the whole lion became outlined by the quintessence the two of you exuded allowing voltron to fight against the pressure and lift off at an incredible speed, the power was able to break through the forcefield on top of Naxzela allowing your escape from the planet.

 You smiled at your success, “Thanks Lance '' but he shook his head 

“That was all you and Allura'' and you took a deep breath knowing that he was right. You and Allura are a lot stronger than you give yourselves credit for. Voltron made its way into space as Hunk shouted

 “We still need to diffuse that bomb” you all nodded in agreement as Shiro reached out to someone in the comms

 “Keith, can you hear me?” 

You somewhat gritted my teeth at the mention of him, not sure if you were ready to see him again as up to now you had been able to miss out on talks with the blade usually too busy campaigning on another planet with the rebels and sometimes other paladins for support on the takeover of Naxzella. Since he left you had barely even heard his voice and for the most part, turned off being able to hear Shiro's comms so you didn't need to hear his voice today, everything was so meticulously planned that you didn't even need to speak to know what Voltron needed to do anyway. 

“Shiro! Where are you? Is everything okay?” you heard his voice speak out 

“Not for long if we don’t stop Zarkons witch, she must be aboard that cruiser”

 To which Keith mused “I’m way ahead of you” You could almost hear the smirk on his face “and I brought some backup” You then heard Olia from the rebels speak out letting you all of their presence.

Shiro connected to Coran telling him to get as far away from Naxzela as possible he seemed confused until you and Allura interjected 

“Naxela is a bomb” she started 

“and it’s only a few minutes away from going off” you concluded

 “but what about you?” Coran worried as he looked at the pair of alteans

“We are going to try to stop it” you said gravely

 “we need you to do this'' Allura urged the older man to which he simply replied

 “yes, princess” but you could see the fear etched on his face that he would be the last altean standing after this. 

“Thrusters are at max power” Lance stated as Voltron flew as fast as it could 

“I sure hope we make it in time” Hunk worried, as Voltron got further away the time was ticking, sweat was rolling down Lance's forehead

 “We aren't going to make it in time!” when all of a sudden the purple aura encasing Naxzela faded away and Coran overjoyed commented

 “Naxzela is returning to normal! You did it” A breath you didn't know you were holding was let out in relief when Shiro congratulated Keith and the rebels on their work when he said something puzzling

 “It wasn't me, it was Lotor'' you and the other paladins looked at each other through the comms confused

 “The cannon on his ship was the only thing powerful enough to break through the shield.” After those words were uttered the galran cruiser transported itself away to another galaxy. 

Then you heard his voice

“Attention, paladins of Voltron and rebel fighters, I know we have had our differences in the past, but.. I think it is time we had a discussion.”

[binart]

Space Ranger Partner's Adventures Chapter 2

(content warning for non-explicit but VERY thirsty Lance this chapter 🤣🥰✨)

(First) (Next)

—

Lance was awake well before Keith knocked on their connected door.

Pulled from a dreamless night of sleep, thankfully. Somewhere in between agonizing over everything he said and did around Keith the previous day to pouring over the details from their mission, he eventually slipped into peaceful darkness. He'd also gone to bed without doing his usual skincare routine, or even having his nighttime juniberry tea, so Lance woke up feeling like a desert in every sense of the word.

There was discomfort, laying there. His tongue felt like a gross carpet in his mouth, and he could practically feel the wrinkles pulling at the sides of his mouth. His muscles no longer ached, of course, since even though being part Altean was a curse, it was a curse with plenty of benefits. And yet Lance struggled to find the motivation to lift himself up. He turned his head to look over at the closed bathroom door. Toothbrush. Cleanser. Toner. Moisturizer. Everything felt so far away despite how much he needed them.

A knock from behind him, a pause, then a gentle set of taps. “..Lance..? You awake?”

Keith. Lance managed to pull himself up into a sitting position. “..Uh-huh. Come in?” The door beeped quietly, slid open and without making a sound Keith walked in.

He looked.. as tired as Lance felt. “Sorry, did I wake you?” Lance stretched as he shook his head, then shifted his legs so he was facing Keith.

“Nah, I was just getting ready to get up. What's up?” Keith fidgeted for a moment with a quiet 'um' before he took a seat beside him.

“..Last night, I had to go to processing to—well.” The fidgeting resumed. “..Torat's off the team.” Oh. He wasn't expecting to be told so soon, let alone to be woken up for it. He sniffled to clear the congestion from his nose and blinked blearily.

“For trying to—to sacrifice himself? On the mission?” Keith's expression turned sour as he looked away and nodded. “..Sorry, man. Must've been hard to make that call. He seemed like he liked being on board.” The crack of Torat's torso being slammed against the base's wall last night echoed in his mind.

“He was a good part of the team, yeah. But—what he did, went against everything I'm trying to do here with the Blades.” Keith's hands bunched in Lance's blankets in frustration. He paused for a moment to think, then faced Lance with a sort of earnest vulnerability he'd rarely seen from the other guy in the years they'd known each other; a struggle Keith had always had. “I want the Blades to be a place where everyone who fights to see the war end can actually see it end.” Naxzela once again arose from his memories, but Lance shooed it away.

“I mean, that's a pretty ambitious goal given their motto's basically—uh. The opposite of that.” Keith deflated, and Lance continued with a hurried tone as he reached out to him with panicked hands. “B-But that's a really cool goal to have! Really honorable, and junk.”

“Yeah..?” God, he wasn't ready for Keith's puppy-dog eyes this early in the day. Not at all.

“Yeah! I think it's a really great thing you're doing. We've—And everyone else, too—we've all lost a lot already. So.. trying to keep more loss to a minimum, yeah. Definitely a good thing.” Was his face getting red? He felt sweaty, but Keith didn't seem to notice. Or didn't care, if he did.

“..Thanks, Lance.” The moment between them slowed, and Lance took the time to appreciate Keith's handsome smile, but then Keith's eyes widened. “A-anyway—I didn't wanna wake you up to tell you about Torat, I wanted to say sorry for not checking in last night. It was a pretty intense mission and uh—I thought we could talk about it over breakfast?”

Lance's stomach awoke to remind him he was, in fact, starving.He nodded then shifted to get up. “I'm down. Cafeteria busy this time of.. day?” Quickly he shoved himself into a clean hoodie and slipped his Blue Lion™ socks on.

“Not really. A lot of blades eat in their room for the first meal of the day. We could too, if you want.” Lance thought about sitting close to Keith as he did the day before, knees leaning against each other; a conversation between just the two of them. The intimacy of such a mundane moment slapped him across the face with a shock of deep wanting.

“Cafeteria's good! I uh, gotta stretch my legs.”

—

As Keith predicted, it was relatively quiet. The two sauntered through a short line that reminded him of his days back at the Garrison, and before long they found a dark bench to sit. Lance slid in first, with Keith to follow directly beside him.

Keith didn't hesitate to dig into the odd assortment of goos and strange looking alien plants—or, meats, maybe? Lance leaned forward and inhaled in hopes the smell of his breakfast would clue him in to how it tasted, but instead a pleasant cologne he didn't recognize drifted into his senses.

Keith took a drink from a strange space pouch at the same moment Lance realized he had just inadvertently sniffed him, then cleared his throat. “Anyway, like I was saying. I don't wanna rush into finding Torat's replacement. There's not much to do on our end while the intel division monitors the base we bugged, so..”  A rosy hue bloomed on Keith's cheeks. “I thought we could take it easy for a bit. Maybe.. train like we used to.. and get better acquainted with the rest of the team.”

While Lance wasn't thrilled with the idea of having to spend more time with En, the idea of training with Keith introduced an entirely different set of butterflies into his stomach. “Take it easy and hang out with a bunch of cool alien super spies? Sounds good to me.” Keith grinned in the way he always did; lopsided and ridiculously handsome, made all the worse now by how the locks that slipped free from his loose braid framed his face.

Keith breathed a small laugh through his nose. “Good to have you on board, Lance.” He leaned forward and regarded him with a slight tilt of his head. “I mean it. It was a pretty close call yesterday, and we wouldn't have managed without you there.”

Lance outwardly preened despite the nagging voice at the forefront of his mind whispering otherwise. “Uh, yeah! That is why they call me the sharpshooter, y'know.” Keith rolled his eyes, still bemused.

—

The next few days were downright serene. It took daily hour-long calls with his family to soften the ache of homesickness in his chest, but once that was more manageable Lance was able to start truly taking in the wonders the base had on offer.

He sunk into the plush seats of the rec room's circular sofa in the early afternoon after a morning run and trip to the pool with Keith. Thankfully after they rinsed off, Keith changed into his regular full body uniform instead of the intensely distracting red shorts he'd been sporting all morning. He'd asked Lance to meet him in the rec room after Lance grabbed his own clothes from his room to spend time with the others, and as Lance stretched his legs far out in front of him and settled in, Hedrox tapped away on his oddly familiar looking tablet. Was that the new model Pidge had been going on about during their last video call?

“Hey Lieutenant,” Hedrox greeted, elongating the 'hey' in a very slow and casual manner despite the speed of his fingers tapping away. En, about fifteen feet away from the couch area, gave him a salute before returning to his push-ups on the floor. Kestin was nowhere to be seen, along with Keith. He hadn't exactly rushed to get here, so Lance wondered why he was the first to arrive. He lifted the small towel from across his shoulders and patted his face of residual moisture.

“Yo. You seen Keith around?”

“The Commander? Mhm, said he wanted to get some snacks for yo—for everyone. For the team. We.. like snacks.” En snorted from behind them, but said nothing.

“O...kay. Cool.. Uh, so.. You guys been here all morning?” He still wasn't entirely sure what to talk about with his new teammates, since he knew next to nothing about any of them. He learned Kestin was another human, surprisingly, and he'd joined the blades during an exchange program Kolivan and the Garrison had created two years ago. That was about it.

“Uh-huh, I pretty much live here when I'm not with the Intel crew,” Hedrox explained, then shifted and leaned heavily over the couch to point at their currently unmasked teammate. “En used to spend entire quintants holed up in his room working out, but now he does it here. Really stinks up the place.” The other blade halted their push-ups, and whipped up into an incredulous stance.

“Wh—Only because it was something you insisted upon! Had the Commander not agreed on your behest, I would not have done so. Would you prefer I leave?!”

“Noo, I like your stink! And I can never drag you all the way from your room to play Monsters and Mana with us here.”

“Hmph, the most simple and undemanding of tactical simulations. Can you truly blame me for not seeing the worth of such things?”

“Hold on, you guys play Monsters and Mana?!” Lance hadn't played that in years! Hedrox whipped back around.

“Absolutely! Although—” they faltered. “We were playing a campaign where um. Torat was kind of the main character. His people don't tend to live all that long so—“ Hedrox quietly settled back into his seat, and sighed. “We wanted to.. make sure he could make some nice memories with the Commander.” Despite the mask, it was obvious he was upset. En resumed exercising.

“Oh..”

“Anyway, I'll have to scrap the campaign and start a new one. Once it's ready, could I convince you to—or, that is to say—Do you want to be a part of it?!”

“Yeah, man! No one in my family likes playing anything but the Earth version of it. I think I still have my character data on my phone..” Hedrox leapt up to stand on the top of the sofa as Keith and Kestin strode in together.

“Sir Pike?! Lieutenant are you talking about the famed Sir Pike?! I'm gonna die right now.”

“What are we dying about?” Keith quirked a brow as he made a bee-line for Lance with a platter full of snacks. He then set it in the small round table curled within the sofa. Hedrox gestured emphatically at Lance, and Kestin sauntered over to a nearby mounted screen and pulled out some kind of console.

“The Lieutenant agreed to join us in a new Monsters and Mana campaign! And so I insist you join us once again, Commander.” Keith grabbed a handful of glowing pretzel looking snacks and tossed them in his mouth as he plunked next to Lance.

“..You handle making the character like before and I'll do it.”

“Deal!” At the same time, an overly loud voice from fifteen feet away boomed.

“I shall join as well!!”

Everyone looked over at En, now standing upright and rigid. They were breathing heavily and did not take their eyes off of Keith. Hedrox laughed in a way that was distinctly human, then gave En a thumbs up.

“Alrighty, I'm gonna whip up a campaign the M&M community'll lose their minds over.”

Lance looked over at Keith with his eyes wide, surprised by how lively this bunch of aliens were over a tabletop game. Keith shrugged. He offered some snacks from the platter which Lance gratefully obliged.

—

The strangeness his life had taken on soon settled into comfortable routine. In the simulated mornings in days that spanned approximately twenty-six and a half Earth hours to mimic the average day cycle of most inhabitants on the base, Lance would awake around the same time he used to in New Altea.

Instead of his solitary jog through the rolling country hills followed by the rest of the morning in the greenhouse, Lance now spent that time together with Keith. And the others, of course. Mobility and agility were highly important skills as super-spy space ninjas, so a large portion of their training regimens included plenty of cardio. They'd run the tracks in the training sector as a team, then branch off to their respective combat training zones. Close quarters combat was one of Lance's weakest areas, and after mentioning that offhandedly to Keith one night in the lounge, when Lance wasn't working on his aim, Keith would whisk him away for some practice. Together. Usually pretty sweaty all throughout, too (though En always followed and watched).

Quiznack,was Keith hot. In the weeks since his arrival, Lance had been thinking about how best to approach the asking-out-Keith conundrum. When was a good time? Anytime? When he was younger, and even now, Lance was never afraid to flirt. If someone wasn't interested, it was easy enough to move on, since how often would he really be seeing a random cute alien on some distant planet they saved? But with Keith..

Lance lifted up a tiny maintenance tool from the set for his blade issued pistol and examined the deconstructed gun on his desk in front of him. He'd already cleaned every part twice, and reassembled it in record time. It was a suitable distraction for his hands while he thought about what to do.

Lance considered the facts: Keith wasn't seeing anyone. But in the entire time Lance knew him, he'd never seen Keith directly express interest in any kind of person, so it was hard to say if he was into guys. Or anyone, for that matter. Was there a non-awkward way of trying to gauge that? Keith, buddy, hey man, just wondering if you'd hypothetically be interested in banging dudes? No reason for wondering, just curious. Totally not because I'd be devastated if I ruined our friendship by trying to get with you!

Lance clicked the final piece of the pistol back into place and groaned. He was so attractive though, it was almost infuriating! How did the cute and rough-around-the-edges Keith he'd saved the universe with manage to turn into one of the most handsome, charming, competent, and weirdly thoughtful guys he'd ever met?! It was bad enough he'd always been Lance's type. But now he had broad shoulders and a really nice ass on top of that. He wanted to.. well, he wanted to do a lot of things with Keith, obviously. But there was also the romantic part of Lance that longed for the sort of connection he hadn't had with anyone in years.

In the wake of the lions taking Allura's place in saving the universe from Honerva, Lance realized he would never be able to give her the life she deserved. He was just some guy from Cuba, some rebound,and neither of them would benefit from that kind of relationship. It was a quiet break-up. A mutual understanding, an awkward hug at the end of it, and the promise that they would still stay close friends.

But the Princess was a Princess, and the center of the newest push to unite the universe against the remnants of the empire. There was no room for Lance in that, not really, and it had been months since they spoke, let alone seen each other in person.

Lance was still kind of heartbroken over the whole thing. And the idea of pushing away Keith in the same way.. It.. scared him.

Never mind the mortifying idea of having to stick around in their tight-knit group after being rejected. Never mind the fact that Keith might even ask him to leave to avoid dealing with that whole awkward situation. Never mind how much he didn't want to go back to a life where nothing he did mattered. He loved his family, and he tried to tell himself it was fine to leave the universe saving to the rest of his old team because he was already too ruined by the war, but he was terrified he was going to spend the rest of his life doing nothing.

He wasn't talented, he wasn't special; he couldn't do anything worthwhile other than pilot a lion that didn't even technically exist anymore. And when his family and friends started aging, he'd be helpless to do anything but watch as everyone around him died because Allura thought it would be a gift to make him live six times as long as everyone else!

Oh. Lance was going to have to do something right away to stop thinking. He put his pistol back in its case and stiffly walked out the door of his room. He didn't want to be around anyone, but also hypocritically wanted desperately to be comforted. He wanted to call his mom, but then thought about having to eventually bury her. No, no, nope. Maybe he could just distract himself with training, or swimming, or something. He made his way down the now familiar hallways towards the training center,

then turned back around and went straight to Keith's door. He pressed the keypad, hoping both at once that he was busy, and that he wasn't.

“Hello?” His low and soothing voice drifted from under his fingertips.

“H-Hey! Keith, hey. You busy?”

“Hey Lance. I'm free, door's open.” Lance shuffled in with too much nervous energy that he tried to hide.

Keith's room was similar in design to his own, but sported a lot of interesting decorations. There were several boards on the walls with intel related to ongoing missions, assembled in a way that looked a bit like those conspiracy boards Keith made in his old cabin. There was a mounted case full of extremely alien-looking knives (a new hobby of his, Lance learned last week), and Kosmo was curled up in his bed, even tinier than usual. Keith turned from his desk to face Lance as he shambled in. “What's up?”

“Uhh, nothing much! Just—wondering what you were doing!” Instead of standing around strangely, Lance moved to sit on the bed and pulled the puppy-sized Kosmo onto his lap. Kosmo wiggled a bit in annoyance, realized Lance was there, and immediately settled back down into snoozing with an adorable huff. Keith leaned back in his chair and let his neck tilt back to face the ceiling.

“Not a ton. Just, so much—paperwork.” The desk was covered with small stacks of light blue paper-adjacent material, and what looked to be hundreds of space-y thumb-drives. Keith always seemed to have piles of them to plug into his personal blade-tablet thing, and apparently that was how they relayed top-secret info they didn't want to risk sending through any kind of network. It seemed weirdly inefficient, but Lance never felt like questioning it. “And most of it's another wave of applications for the team, even though I said I'm not rushing to find a replacement.” He swayed into an upright position, then turned to face him. “At this point I'm thinking about having the application say something like, 'are you willing to die to see the mission succeed?' just so I can toss the ones that say yes automatically.” Lance laughed nervously and gently scratched at Kosmo's small puppy mane.

“C'mon dude, imagine how desperate you'd be if not just one but two world-famous celebrities came to your job and had an opening on their team. Especially if they saved your life at some point, which we definitely did.”

“I guess. If you're not suited to working with them though, trying to push your way in anyway would probably just piss them off. Why even bother?”

“Ohh, buddy.. Never make a social media account.” Keith snorted.

“Wasn't planning on it. Anyway, your leg's doing that thing again.” Lance froze and looked down at his left leg jack-hammering against the floor. He'd picked up Kosmo into his arms at some point to not jostle him. “Something up?”

“No! Uh, no. I'm just—yeah, kinda antsy. You feel like doing something?” Keith studied him for a moment, then softened.

“Sure. If you wanna blow off some steam, we could—” Keith thought for a second. “Go work on CQC maybe? I used to do that all the time with the drones in the castle and it usually helped.” He stood up and walked over to Lance as he spoke, and gently picked up Kosmo from his arms. Then, he lifted his blanket up, rested the puppy against his pillow, and tucked him in. Lance instantly felt near ready to explode from fondness. He cleared his throat.

“Alright, let's go.” Surprisingly, Keith reached down to pull at the draping fabric part of his uniform that hung around his waist, then tossed it over his chair. When Lance looked at him questioningly, he smirked.

“Not giving you an advantage like last time.”

—

This was a bad idea.

High enough ranking members of the Blade of Marmora, Lance learned, were given access to a lot of amenities on base, including access to private training chambers. They'd only ever sparred with other teammates watching, which helped distract Lance enough to avoid thinking about how close he was to Keith, but this felt completely different now that they were alone.

“Masks on or off?” Keith asked as he finished inputting info into the room's door console. Recently, a time limit had been implemented to encourage blades not to overexert themselves, but no one on their team usually went for more than two or so hours except for En.

“On, I guess?” Lance then accidentally conjured an image in his mind of Keith pinned under him, hair tussled and face red, and immediately pressed the button on his suit to activate the mask. Keith nodded and did the same, but not to hide like Lance.

Lance gave a precursory quick stretch of his keyed up limbs, all electricity and jitters, and for a moment considered how uncomfortable it would be for Keith in a situation like this if he had to reject Lance, and quietly decided to put asking him out on the back-burner. At least for a while. He was still kind of a mess, anyway. “You ready?”

“Uh-huh.” He was feeling a little distracted, honestly. Keith was probably even better at CQC than Shiro at this point, so Lance knew he'd have to stay on the defensive. Keith leaned heavily on his right leg for a moment, then shot at him.

Sharp, brutal, efficient. Keith was a whirlwind of limbs and jabs. He wasn't one for grappling much, and instead whipped around Lance with a flurry of surprisingly easy to block punches.

Oh, he was warming him up and going easy on him. Lance's pride prickled a bit, and he took a moment to switch off the defensive to sweep a leg under the other man. But Keith leapt up in an instant, gripped the front of Lance's uniform, then tossed him. Lance needed only a second to recover before righting himself back onto his feet, and launched back over at Keith.

This time he was on the offensive, and though he lacked the same amount of raw Galran strength that Keith had, compensated by redirecting Keith's punches away from himself with rigid strikes of his forearms and elbows. Blue taught him, years ago, that in all ways he was best suited to be like water. Their comms were open, and he heard Keith give a satisfied laugh.

“Pretty good, Lance.”

“Hmph! You gonna go easy on me all day, dude? 'Cause I can just as easily head down to the pool if you're gonna—” Keith vanished from his view. What?

The slight breeze from his left was the only indication Lance got before he whipped around and braced. Keith's kick made a crack as it brutally connected to his crossed forearms shielding his chest, and Lance once again went careening backwards. Pain, bright and stinging flashed through his arms, and the air was knocked from his lungs as he hit the ground. He gasped and shuddered through it with his jaw clenched hard and tried to right himself. His armored arms were suddenly a sturdier white with blue bracers.

The inside of his mask lit up strangely, and in the same moment Lance noticed that, his fist was already connecting to Keith's masked cheek. Keith stumbled backwards. Lance took the opportunity to sweep his legs out from under him; this time it worked. He stomped on his ribs and Keith let out a pained gasp, but grabbed his ankle before Lance could retract it. In what felt like slow motion, his leg was twisted and pulled, and his balance was stolen from him. The ground slowly crept up to meet him, and with strength Lance couldn't match, Keith pinned his arms on either side against the smooth floor. He struggled for a moment before realizing the futility of it, then loosened the wires pulling his screaming muscles taut.

They both heaved deep breaths, masked faces only inches apart.

“Quiznack. You've been—” Keith wheezed and shook his head. “—holding out on me, Lance! Didn't know you had moves like that.”

It wasn't as bright anymore, and Lance was hit with the sudden realization that Keith was, in fact, very close right now. He bit back an embarrassed shriek and wiggled around until Keith released his hold. He blurted out the first stray thought that floated through his currently flat-lining brain. “Farming'll do that!” Lance squeaked.

“Farming—What?!” Keith wheezed again, and before long started to laugh. “That makes no sense!” He flopped down next to Lance, and relaxed with a chuckling sigh.

Lance felt a little like he wanted to die from embarrassment. But as he defended his nonsense claim, mostly found himself wanting to see Keith without his mask in that moment.

—

🥺 i wanted more BONDING SCENES!!! action and sad can wait!! Lance has to wax poetic about Keith's ass NOW!!

ANYWAY DID U LIKE THIS CHAPTER 😳

& BTW! I've already got up to chapter 5 on my patreon if u feel like supporting me and getting access to it early.... 👀

[keithkog]

how did the team react to the whole... naxzela thing

At first I didn’t understand why everyone was being so clingy with me, until I found out Matt told them what I tried to do. For those who don’t know, I almost died trying to self destruct a ship in order to break a sheild so an entire star system wouldn’t be blown to bits.

Sacrificing ourselves for the greater good is nothing new, but I think they took it as me not valuing myself enough. Now that I think about it, Lance did seem to take it the hardest. He was checking on me more and I would catch him staring at me a lot. I feel bad I worried him, but I really was trying to do what was best.

Yes, that meant almost dying due to my own actions. But if it meant I would have given everyone else a chance to live… It would have been worth it.

-Keith

[incorrect-kidge-quotes]

YouTube Music Wrapped Writing Challenge

Song #23 – Too Late For You, by TheManBeHisLa (ft. Mcgwire)

So, I initially was going for angst, but the story ended up dictating itself to be more tragedy. I unfortunately had no control over this and had to abide by the stories wishes. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Voltron flew to the ship from the surface of Naxzela as fast as it’s thrusters allowed.

“Thrusters are at max power!” Lance called out.

“I sure hope we make it in time…” responded Hunk.

Come on, Katie… think! There has to be something you can do, if we don’t hurry there’s no way to stop the planet from exploding, and there is no way Keith or the Coalition will be able to hold Haggar off for long! Pidge thought, internally screaming at herself to come up with a solution.

“Follow my lead, we have to break through that shield!” she heard Keith shout over the intercoms before groaning in pain.

“We’re not gonna make it!” Lance shouted, panicking. There has to be something I can do… I can overclock the thrusters I- I can…

“We’ll never penetrate those shields!” Matt said over the comms.

“… Not with our weapons…” she heard Keith say, barely more than a whisper.

“Wait, Keith, what are you doing?!” Matt asked.

‘Not with our weapons’? What’s that supposed to mean. No- “Keith you can’t!”

“Sorry Katie… You guys, stop the Galra. End this war. I’ve missed you all, I’ll- I’ll keep missing you.” Keith told them before shutting off his communications and putting his thrusters into full power.

Pidge watched as Voltron neared just close enough to see the remnants of the explosion dissipate as the shield shut down. “Keith!!” Everyone, including her brother could be heard before a purple laser burst through Haggar’s superweapon, completely destroying it. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“I’m sorry for the loss of your comrade, truly. I tried to make it in time… I was merely- too late to be of any help for you.” Lotor old them all as the group, Matt, and he sat in the Castle hangar.

“Like quiznack! You probably just wanted to make sure another opponent was off the board before coming in at the last second for your own plans!” Lance shouted, getting in Lotor’s face.

No one noticed her, the girl normally so curious and talkative was completely silent. Unable to get out a word. No one, except her brother and Shiro.

“Pidge… Katie?” Matt said, turning to his sister, this finally drew the attention of the other paladins and Lotor.

“I should have done something… the thought crossed my mind- bypass the engines to overclock the thrusters, deal with the burnout and repair them later- I could’ve done something. I could’ve done anything, I- I-” she couldn’t help it anymore, she dropped to the ground. Hyperventilating. Unable to breathe.

“Sh-shiro, you came back! You were gone, we thought you died! How’d you come back?!”

“I don’t know, Pidge. I was in the Black Lion, but I don’t remember, like I said.” Shiro mumbled out.

“No, no, no, no… he was supposed to come back to us. He was supposed to be with the Blades, get his answers and come back to us. He was going to share everything he found out with me!” She screamed before burying her head into Matt’s chest.

Matt looked up at Shiro, asking his old friend only one question, “Were they-?”

“They were close, but- but I never knew it was like this.”

“You bastard… you were supposed to come back to me.” ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

@flannelfangirl Like I said, I initially meant to meet your angst with my own, however, the keyboard had it own ideas

A/N: This song itself is fairly more upbeat in tone, I however simply the title as inspiration for this snippet

[discordiansamba]

flopping back to the Galra prince Keith AU for a hot minute, thinking about Keith's secret coming out to the paladins. Because he avoids some of the pit falls that Lotor does- he does still effectively trick the paladins into going after the trans reality comet, but not because he wants it- but because he knows if he just leaves it there, then his father will eventually find it.

Better then, to trick the paladins just a smidge to put it into their hands instead.

But it also means he's not exactly building anything from the ore, and therefore Zarkon has no reason to send his fleet after him. He's dismissed from his role as emperor pro tem (which thank the ancients, THAT double life was exhausting), and though Haggar has her suspicions, he doesn't bring Narti with him to Central Command, so she can't get into her head and use her to spy on him.

What does happen is Naxzela.

What does happen is that his generals are monitoring the battle. They've been ordered to not directly interfere. But that was before it turned out that Naxzela was bomb.

The rebellion doesn't have the firepower to break the shields on Haggar's cruiser- but Kyor's flagship does. Acxa makes the decision, and knowing the consequences, she decides to surrender herself to the Voltron Coalition, since they've basically made themselves- and by extension, Kyor- official enemies of the Empire with that act. There's some debate, but the other three decide to go with her.

And Keith can't watch them being put into restraints when they made that choice to save him- to save the fragile hope that he believed in. He knows he should just keep his head down. That's what they want. But he can't do it. He's not that sort of person.

So instead he tells Allura that if she's going to restrain them, then she's going to have to restrain him too. Because he's been lying to them this entire time. Because there never was a Keith Kogane.

"You wanted to find Zarkon's son," he says, as he shifts back to his natural form, "-well here I am."

[the-feral-gremlin]

Imagine Keith hits Naxzela and instead of this big loud dramatic trickle of light, there’s just a smack and he slowly slides down the particle barrier.

[sagegreenfrogs]

why do tdp and voltron always somehow connect in my brain

TW: abandonment, mentions of suicide

I've been thinking about rayla's speech in "the great bookery" to Amaya about how she left Callum to protect him and help him but Amaya rejects this with "you abandoned him. you broke his heart."

like DAMMIT THIS COULDVE BEEN KLANCE-

as we all know Keith has a fun habit of distancing himself from people he loves "I push them away before... they reject me." (him leaving team voltron, emotionally locking himself away, leaving the garrison with no protest, almost committing suicide at the battle of naxzela, etc.) and I think if dreamworks wasn't full of bullshit then that could have tied into him leaving to "protect" lance.

and when Keith did leave the team, it did hurt everyone else. it broke their hearts. it was detrimental to the team, especially considering that it was kuron, not the real shiro who took over in his absence. if him and lance were given the emotional and relational development they deserved, this may have played out similarly to how rayllum is going.

I love rayllum but our boys deserved better.

at least in the epilogue they could've done better. at least given lance a good ending like he deserves. (LANCE MCCLAIN IS NOT A FARMER, FIGHT ME. IF LANCE IS A FARMER SHIRO IS STRAIGHT.)

[emoest-of-simps]

But I got to read fics where Keith died from the Naxzela (I am sleepy!! Send help!!)

NEXT TIME READ YOUR ANGST ON THE BUS LIKE A NORMAL PERSON.