#as if it doesn’t contribute to my feeling like a huge burden who can’t even unfuck my own head

[the-cooler-dracula]

Losing my fucking mind. Who do you even talk to? Who wants to hear it?

[tongue-like-a-razor]

hangman request incoming ‼️‼️

so the reader is best friends w rooster and whenever she’s around hangman he’s always quite rude to her, only bc he’s harbouring huge feelings for her which he isn’t very used to. then maybe he goes too far and rooster needs to talk some sense into him (reader could be a pilot or just a close friend of rooster’s)

SORRY i’m not great and giving requests but i hope there’s something in there that you like !

Ahhhh I LOVE this request!! And I really loved writing this piece, which may or may not turn into a series.. oops I couldn't resist haha

Less Talk | Part I

Jake Seresin x F!Reader

Summary: Jake can't stand Bradley's best friend. What's more, he's probably in love with her, which really pisses him off.

CW: mild angst, Hangman being a dick aka Hangman being himself, unresolved sexual tension, swearing, drinking

Masterlist

“Do you ever not have an opinion?” Jake watches you irritably before taking a long swig of his drink. He needs the alcohol to calm his nerves so that he doesn’t inadvertently push you off your chair.

You glare at him. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you? A nice, safe space for Seresin to dominate the conversation without opposition.”

Jake lets out a steady breath. No one riles him quite like you do. “We’re talking about food, Y/N. It doesn’t exactly have global ramifications.”

“Actually, it does,” you respond matter-of-factly. “And are you saying I shouldn’t have an opinion unless it is ground-breaking in nature? Maybe I should just sit here quietly and look pretty.”

“Ha!” Jake cackles. “I would love to see you try.”

“Hangman!” Bradley, who’s sitting to your right, gives him a disapproving look.

You make a grimace. “I will never give you that kind of satisfaction.”

Jake meets your gaze with a hostile look. The thought of you satisfying him in any way sort of disorients him. He makes a face at you because he can’t deny that if you were to just sit there in silence, you would be exceptionally pleasant to look at. Pretty, even… maybe. Instead, he says, “How the fuck does eating avocado toast for lunch have global implications? I would love to know.”

“The recent surge in consumption of avocados - thanks to health nuts such as yourself - has led to an unprecedented increase in price to the point where those people whose culinary staple for generations has been the avocado cannot afford to keep it their diet.” You fold your arms over your chest to drive your point home while Jake just stares at you, speechless. No other woman in the world has ever rendered him that. He glances over at Bradley who is looking back at him with a slight grin. Just when Jake thinks you might be all talked out, you add, “And don’t even get me started on the environmental burden of growing enough avocados to sustain the whole of North America’s health culture.”

Jake blinks at you. “Trust me, I wasn’t planning on it.”

“The avocado trade is contributing to local violence and extortion” – you continue, but Jake cuts you off.

“Okay, okay!” he says. “I’ll never eat an avocado again.”

“Just quit spreading your avocado propaganda!”

“It’s not propaganda! They’re actually good for you!”

“How wonderful it must be living in a world where your needs come before everybody else’s,” you say bitterly.

“Can we please talk about something other than avocados?” he says tiredly, his eyes sliding to Bradley in a plea for assistance.

“If you’re looking for a topic on which I do not have an opinion” – you say, but Jake interrupts you again.

“Does such a topic exist?” he asks flatly.

You roll your eyes at him. “Did you ever think that maybe you’re the one who should talk less?”

Jake nods. “Certainly. I should talk less to you. Because you’re driving me crazy, lady.” He stands up after having downed the rest of his drink. “I’m getting another beer and, when I return, I’m going to have a conversation with my good friend here, Rooster.”

Bradley shakes his head and looks over at you. “Don’t mind him, he’s just a bitter, bitter man.”

“A bitter man who needs to be schooled on occasion,” you mutter.

Jake turns to look at you with wide eyes. He slides back into his seat. “I heard that,” he says dangerously, inclining into the table.

“Good,” you respond, leaning forward so that your noses are nearly touching. “You were meant to.”

“You are so fucking annoying,” he whispers, his eyes slipping momentarily to your mouth as you lick your lips.

“Hangman, come on, don’t be a dick,” Bradley says, also putting his weight into the table in an attempt to intervene.

Jake’s eyes are still scanning your face as you glare at him without moving away. The truth is, he could probably listen to you talk about the problematic export of Mexican avocados for hours just to watch your mouth move and to hear the passion in your voice. But he’s tired of the tunnel vision he experiences every time your boyfriend ditches you and you end up going out with your best friend, Bradley Bradshaw. This is the fifth time this month that you’ve accompanied Rooster to ‘guys’ night out’ and it’s becoming more and more difficult for Jake to shake you after each successive evening of relentless verbal sparring.

Out of the corner of his eye, Jake can see Bradley slowly inching off the table, having realized that he may be a third wheel. But Jake doesn’t need him to be some sort of wingman in this bizarre scenario where he may or may not be completely in love with an unavailable woman who happens to be an expert at pushing all his goddamn buttons. Normally, he would remedy this kind of matter with a good old romp in the hay but, considering the fact that you are in a relationship, this option is, unfortunately, off the table. Besides, he’s not entirely sure it wouldn’t have the opposite effect on him, anyway.

But, despite all the reasons for avoiding your pull, Jake can’t look away, not even for a second; not even to get another beer. He moves his face a millimeter closer to yours, just to see what would happen; not because your breath smells like Peach Schnapps and not because your eyes are absolutely destabilizing him. His nose is about a split second away from brushing yours when your phone buzzes on the table. You flinch, withdrawing immediately, leaving Jake to watch you try to frantically pick it up. You shoot him one last intimidating look before rising from the table.

“Hey, babe,” he hears you say as you walk away.

“What’s your deal, man?” Bradley says as Jake watches you step outside.

Jake shakes his head solemnly. “Doesn’t she have other friends to play with?” he asks. “Why’re you always babysitting her?”

Bradley fixes Jake with a knowing look. “Hangman,” he says with a suggestive squint to his eye. “Is there something you want to tell me?”

Jake stares at Bradley. “Yeah,” he says. “I want to tell you that your bestie is a pain in the ass, Rooster.”

Bradley’s jaw hardens. “You’re way out of line.”

“Come on, I can’t be the only one who finds her absolutely infuriating. The girl never shuts up!”

Bradley narrows his eyes. “And you don’t, at all, find that sort of thing attractive?” he says sarcastically.

“Attractive? I find it immensely aggravating, actually.”

“So aggravating that you argue right back every time,” Bradley points out with a smirk. “Movies, books, social constructs. Last week, I heard you guys bickering about space waste. What do you even know about space?”

“What does she know about space?” Jake responds angrily, pointing toward the door with his entire arm.

Bradley leans back in his seat with a sigh. “I know that you don’t actually hate her, Jake,” he says. “You can stop pretending.”

“Who’s pretending?” Jake looks up at him aggressively.

Bradley purses his lips. “What if I told you that her boyfriend is a shithead?”

Jake’s jaw tightens but he continues to stare at Bradley coldly. “Why the fuck would I care?” he says.

Bradley returns his callous expression before looking away. “Been trying to get her out of that relationship for months.”

Jake lets out a sigh. “She’s a grown-ass woman, she can decide for herself if she wants to end it.”

Bradley nods. “Yeah, you’re probably right.”

Jake rises from his seat, his eyes unintentionally drifting up to check if you’re still outside. He sees you pacing back and forth through the big window of the bar. You look like you’re arguing. Big surprise. “Want another beer?” he asks Bradley.

“Please,” Bradley says.

Jake nods at the cocktail you’ve been drinking. “She going to have another one?”

Bradley shrugs. “Probably, unless you’ve pissed her off enough that she decides to leave early.”

Jake scoffs. “She’d be doing me a favor.”

Bradley shakes his head with a laugh. “I don’t even know what she’s drinking, man.”

Jake shifts his jaw. “I do.”

Bradley gives him another piercing look. “Shocking,” he says with a smirk.

“Shut the fuck up, Bradshaw,” Jake says under his breath as he walks away. He glances back at the window behind which you’re now waving your arm around aggressively and yelling into the phone. He tears his gaze away from you, frustrated with himself for even giving a damn.

For some reason, he feels a painful pang in his chest, like he’s jealous of whomever it is you’re tearing into. You’ve never gone off on him quite like that and he can’t help the resentment this fosters. He tries to suppress the impulse to go out after you and rip your stupid phone right out of your hand. That would surely reclaim at least a fraction of your attention. Then maybe he could do something unexpected; something that might persuade you to channel your passion in a more constructive way.

He orders three drinks and walks back to the table with the beers before going back for your cocktail. When he returns, he exhales sharply, giving Bradley a humorless look. “Why’s her boyfriend a shithead?” he says, feeling his hands forming into fists before Bradley even has a chance to respond.

But, right when Bradley’s about to speak, you walk back into the bar.

Read Part 2

A/N: Hope you enjoyed this piece! It's my first Hangman story, so let me know what you think!

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[bibibbon]

something that i can’t stand when it comes to this fandom is that basically no one can wrap their head around the fact that a victim can also be an abuser.

yes, rei was physically and emotionally abused by endeavor. yes, she was literally sold to him.

but she also just completely checked out and left fuyumi to pick up the slack.

yes, it’s not her fault that the abuse caused her to shut down, but as a result of that she neglected her children.

after she left fuyumi had to raise her brothers and become the woman of the house.

again, at the end of the day the root cause of the abuse is endeavor, but rei had checked out even before dabi's death.

it’s not victim blaming to point out the fact that rei neglected her kids. victim blaming would be saying that the abuse she suffered was her fault.

sometimes this fandom can be so fucking braindead. it’s always black and white, good or bad, hero or villain.

there is not a soul on this earth who is 100% a pure and good person.

all might, knowing full well what one for all contained and the massive responsibility that came with it. including an old wrinkly guy who will stop at nothing to take it, to a child and then proceed to not tell the aforementioned child what he was getting himself into. he with held crucial information because he knew that if he told izuku everything there was a chance he wouldn’t take it.

on the flip side, no one is 100% evil.

dabi cares deeply for the league, even though he doesn’t show it. shigaraki is literally the only person he will take orders from. some people may think he showed everyone hawks killing twice just for more ammo against the hero's. but thats not true at all. he cared about twice, and he wanted the world to know who he was. he wanted the hero’s to know that twice was human.

again i’m fucking rambling but i just hate how this fandom can be allergic to nuance and critical thinking.

I do think that many people do want a simple answer because at the end of the day it's easy to root for the good guys and boo the bad guys. There's also the fact that the narrative itself does sometimes struggle in creating a proper grey space morally.

Take for example the abuse victims in MHA. A lot of them are straight up innocent perfect heroes victims like izuku (who can never feel resentment in the narrative) and shoto while the others are straight up villains like Dabi and shigaraki. There's no in between with these characters and it's annoying. I remember talking with @mikeellee she has her saying of Shigaraki being the dark deku which honestly after that chapter where izuku comes into contact with a evil version of himself makes more sense.

I do agree with you in the sense that no one is 100% good or evil and in a way almost everyone is a victim to hero society. All might did willingly give a quirk that has a big responsibility to a naive quirkless child and all might is a bad mentor. However, at the same time all might is also a victim to a society he contributed to creating which is honestly so ironic and I wish horikoshi would explore these aspects of all mights character yet he doesn't and just gave us iron might (I dont like iron might tbh).

Also I love the fact that you brought up Rei himura and honestly Iam a big advocate for giving rei a redemption arc since it would of been more interesting and it would actually make sense to give her one than giving enji todoroki one. Rei was a victim and yes motherhood is difficult especially with the fact that she was abused and stripped of autonomy or agency but she also wasn't the best mother and that's something she does recognise in the narrative. My main problem however, is that the narrative doesn't allow her to fully engage with the family and she doesn't do much about it. Yes she apologises to both shoto and touya but what about her other children?!?! What about fuyumi who had to take on the role of a mother and shoulder a huge family burden? What about natsou who was also neglected?!?!. I say by giving rei himura a redemption arc the series can do so much that being actually involving the entire todoroki family into this, having more introduction to the hospital arc that may connect both touya and Rei and you can also have Rei make a connection with genten as @nyc3 suggested.

However, this also applies to the flip side. Characters like twice, shigaraki and Dabi aren't completely evil. Yes they have done bad things, yes they are bad people but they are also victims of the hero system and hero society. I do think that the leauge is a bit underdeveloped and I did definitely want more development between Dabi and shigaraki's while frenemies fiasco going on.

In the end I do think that almost every fandom may be allergic to nuance in one way or another. I do actually mean this because I remember seeing people try and say that Eren Yeager is completely good while some tried saying that he is completely evil but in reality he is complex and layered. You really can't put a definitive label on the aot characters because they all did their fair share of good and bad things and that's what makes them well written and enjoyable.

[the-broken-pen]

Here's a prompt for you: write about a mask someone wears. Can be fiction, nonfiction (about yourself, an experience, people in general), maybe a poem. What kind of mask is it? What does it look like? Why are they wearing it?

“You can stop, you know.”

The villain froze for a moment, smile almost slipping, and set down their lunch tray. The hero leaned against the table next to them, knuckles white.

“In case you haven’t noticed,” they gestured to themself. “I’m reformed. I already stopped.”

The hero waived a hand. “Not that. I know that, I’m the one who helped you do it.”

The villain kept smiling, even as the edges began to crack like fine china.

“Hero,” they said as gently as they could. “Are you alright?”

The hero stared at them for a moment, as if they weren’t sure what was happening, as if the villain’s very existence confused them. They blew an angry breath out of their nose.

“I’m fine,” the hero said pointedly. “You aren’t.”

The villain ignored them at that, sitting down to stir their lunch. It was half cold and entirely unappetizing, but happy people ate the compound rations and were happy about it. And the villain was reformed, and good, and happy. So they ate.

Their bowl disappeared from in front of them, and they studied the plastic of the table for a moment. When they looked up, the hero’s eyes burned into them.

“Stop. It.”

This time, the villain was the one who sighed. “Can I have my lunch back please?”

The hero threw the bowl an unimpressed look. “What, this crap? Nobody likes this, and I can especially tell that you don’t. Your face is exactly the same as the first time you met me, and you tried to stab me directly after that. So. Stop.”

“I don’t know what you want from me,” the villain grit out. “I’m smiling, I’m contributing, I’m doing good things. No more murder, no more crimes. That’s what you wanted, right?”

“I wanted you to want that. I wanted you to have that. I never wanted this.”

“This what, hero.”

The hero gestured to their face.

“That. That smile.”

The villain gave them a dry look, even as their smile faded. “What, I can’t smile?”

The hero regarded them, fingers laced together under their chin, food abandoned. The villain picked at a hangnail and tried to look calm. This was why they had been avoiding the hero—the villain could read them like a book, but the hero could read them just as well.

Someone clattered down the hall, laughing, and then it was just the two of them again.

“You don’t have to be happy,” the hero said quietly, “to be good.”

The fine china, the mask, shattered.

The hero sighed, but it wasn’t triumphant. Relief, maybe. Or sadness.

“Why couldn’t you have left it alone,” the villain’s voice wobbled traitorously. The hero smiled, just slightly. A smile for a smile.

“Because you were drowning in there. And you don’t deserve that.”

“I’m trying to be good,” they murmured. The hero reached out and stilled their hands before they could pick them bloody.

“You are good. But you’re also hurting. You can do both. It’s okay.”

The villain shoulders loosened, as if the hero had stolen some huge burden from them.

“Okay?”

“Okay,” the villain agreed.

The hero smiled, a soft thing.

“Only smile when it doesn’t feel like a burden to do so,” the hero stood, leaning over the villain for a moment.

They left the villain in the lunch room, staring down at their hands.

Months later, when the hero told an awful joke, the villain laughed. They smiled at the hero, and it was warm. So warm.

And the hero smiled too.

[lostcauses-noregrets]

So...... Erwin went all that trouble to get Levi, even risking his own life knowing how dangerous Levi is, and....... to do what exactly? What did he actually gain? Because every time it feels like Levi can make a huge difference, he's not there. The plot always pushes him out of the story. He's only allowed to come back when our main characters are truly cornered and instead of creating a plot hole or weakening the storytelling by "conveniently" saving them, Yams uses his OP captain to save the day and then pulls a "my job here is done" act & disappear. It feels like Levi didn't really live up to Erwin's expectations or at least how he imagined to use his strength because was Levi even useful to Erwin's plans?

What did Erwin actually gain from Levi?  This. 

Levi doesn’t just contribute his strength to Erwin’s cause by fighting, he also provides stability and support. Agreed, there are numerous times when Levi swoops in to save the day with his extraordinary speed and strength, but more often than not his most important role is to inspire courage and resolve in others, whether it’s Historia, Hanji, Gabi, the 104th, or Erwin himself.  Levi is a constant; he embodies the spirit and the heart of the Survey Corps and the cause that their fallen comrades died for.  He is there to remind them what they are fighting for and to give them the strength to keep fighting. 

Erwin himself explains this beautifully in the Smartpass Close-Up Interview:

Erwin: Starting with Levi…I think he is excellent at shouldering important duties. With the title “Humanity’s Strongest” as part of the SC, our reputations have also been elevated. On the battlefield, he has also faithfully completed the tasks I have assigned to him. Despite his warmhearted nature, I’ve asked him to carry out some cruel missions… Journalist: Is Captain Levi very…”warmhearted?” E: You’ve already interviewed his subordinates, right? Then you must have heard just how much they trust their captain. J: Indeed. I even heard the same thing from new recruits who are not from his squad. E: He just has a rude attitude…but he cherishes his comrades’ life more than anyone else. His reputation cannot be established based on strength alone, Humans can subconsciously detect how much concern others have for them… and when they notice this kindness, it inspires power…That is something that I can’t do.

You ask if Levi was even useful to Erwin’s plans. My question would be how far would Erwin have got with his plans if he hadn’t had Levi by his side?  Levi was his most trusted comrade, his steadfast right-hand man and, perhaps more importantly, his friend. He helped Erwin to bear the weight of all the lives lost under his command, and of the dream that drove him to the point of despair.  And when it all became too much to bear, when Erwin faltered and almost succumbed to guilt and despair in Shiganshina, Levi was there to lift that burden and to help Erwin to summon the courage to sacrifice his own life for Humanity.  That is Levi’s real strength.

[47crayons]

THE WICKED WITHIN—A COMIC SANS WIP REINTRO

!!!!! it's here :D the wip that started to consume me and has been continuing to do so since, now with a much better sense of what exactly is Happening

current tww taglist let me know to be +/- !! @a-completely-normal-writer @writing-is-a-martial-art @wannabeauthorzofija @magic-is-something-we-create @croctears @writeblrfantasy @opes-magnas @author-a-holmes @zoya-writes@fuyugomori @ink-fireplace-coffee

transcript is under the cut!!!

[transcript: a powerpoint presentation of black text on white background, written entirely in comic sans.

start slide one the top left corner reads in red, "warnings (most relevant) war, death, drugs (& addiction), poison". in the center, "the wicked within", and underneath it in smaller font, "a comic sans reintro by @47crayons". the comments around the entire slide read "a family that is so found!!!", "gang rivalry :D and gang content in general", "crime found family basically", "childhood friends to STILL FRIENDS", "all queer cast :p", "eat the rich (not quite, but it’s the right sentiment aldskjfls)", "kickass women, yeah bay bee", "nuanced relationships between different groups :D", "morally grey characters!!!", "so many different governments!!!", "a (mostly alsjflksdj) stable relationship!!!" end slide one

start slide two in the beginning of time… there were four gods: eltenjer, he/him, earth; skari, he/him, fire; aenged, they/them, air; thilda, she/her, water. i didn’t /mean/ for them to have genders, but a quiet breeze whispered “psst. i use they/them.” in the beginning? so you mean… they’re not there anymore? kind of! the gods need followers to survive, and after several unfortunate events, they lost the majority of their followers. the aforementioned unfortunate events: the great ruination, in which natural disasters caused several years of famine and other hardship. the restoration era, in which renovation led people to believe they can live without the gods. if the gods are dead, what’s the point? the gods aren’t /really/ dead, closer to dormant. they can’t actively interact with the mortal realm, but IF they had followers, they would come back to life. oh. did i mention that they control the magic. end slide two

start slide three the dormant gods who can't do... anything control the magic??? hey, no one said magic always has to work. foreshadowing alert huge foreshadowing alert. let’s talk about how magic works, shall we :D people use the Spirit to do magic. people have a Vessel (representation of stamina or how much Sprit can be used at once, can be trained!). people also have a Strength (a type of magic that works well with the user, these have varying frequencies which also depends on location). there’s too much i could say here, but the important thing is the main characters’ Strengths. the right depicts an image of a flowchart showing that gods need followers and produce sprit. people need spirit to do magic. end slide three

start slide four okay but where are we??? where could the magic be so fucked? well, here, of course! the left side shows a line art map, split into five parts going clockwise: portingdale, worchester, the hooks, elderwood, unlabeled. the legend shows that there are mountains in portingdale, forests in elderwood, and rivers that run from portingdale to everywhere else. the place where the four labeled regions meet is called the Inner City. the text on the right reads. welcome to Kjer! there are 3 districts. but wait! there are five? sections? and one isn’t even labelled. worchester used to be a district,,, but it left after the war began. the unlabeled section is the disputed region (re: war). let’s talk more about this war. elderwood wanted easier access to water (see: the rivers in the Wetlands) elderwood & portingdale have been fighting there on and off for over half a century. the hooks has three wards: west (hella rich), south (lower income), north (somewhere in between). end slide four

start slide five whomst. skip to the next slide if you want the actual characters. character basics: the unnecessarily-winded-and-cram-a-lot-of-lore-in version. in the North Ward of The Hooks, there are three main gangs. Kaer Styen, meaning “wicked ones”, Ghetfaer Skarnen, meaning “trickster lords”, Ad Knesten, meaning “the grumbles”. that was so many capital letters i don’t like capital letters alskjdflksjd. they have rivalries and conflicts from time to time, but it’s pretty rare. the tww cast is kaer styen !!! their main means of profit is a drug called jezdin. relieves physical and mental pain. lethal in high. quantities/ when tampered with. can also be addictive. they operate out of a dingy tavern-like building, and they live upstairs!!! okay so this is purely for vibes. how did u know. end slide five

start slide six the Gang. literally :3 Kaer Styen, my beloved. the first thing in each of their bios is their Strength (re: the magic slide). artbreeders!!! i fixed quite a few of them, but my artbreeder skills are questionable at best. this slide is split into three columns. the first column shows a white person with short, brown, curly hair and a firm, but not angry, facial expression. len, he/him, pan. Shifter (can manipulate physical properties). cynical, very cynical (because he has killer instincts). “oh people are dying? am i dying? are you dying? why should i care?” in a relationship with cal. the second column shows a person who appears east asian with long, black, wavy hair and fair skin. chloe, she/her, aroace. Chemist (chemistry but magical). literal archery god. also she’s so quiet it’s SCARY. seems welcoming, emphasis on /seems/ she’ll destroy your ass. knows what you’re feeling. she just. knows. the third column shows a white person with dirty blonde hair. they are smiling. cal, they/them, bi. Whisperer (can persuade others through speech/music). so casually funny all your burdens disappear for a hot minute. gets very attached very deeply. grew up in Portingdale which becomes Important later. end slide six

start slide seven cont. also they have piercings!!!! maybe i will make some picrews later (listen, i KNOW i’ve said this before but. maybe i’m for realsies this time, okay?) this slide is also split into three columns. the first a smiling white female with light blonde hair. eden, she/her?, demi lesbian. Healer (healing magic <3). seen hell and doesn’t want others to suffer. still believes in the gods’ existence. we Don’t talk about her awful parents. raised by a lovely woman in the South Ward, known as Nana. this eye (left) is almost PURPLE which i didn’t do on purpose but is honestly such a cool idea. the second column shows a partially smiling black man with short curly hair. jereth, he/him, gay. powerful life magic thing (will be spoilers if i talk any more). joins them at the beginning. honestly kind of scared of them (who wouldn’t be), but wants to live up to expectations. throws himself into stuff to avoid Thoughts. the third column shows a woman with brown skin, black wavy hair, and a small smile. she is NOT a member of Kaer Styen, but i’m talking about her here all the same. adalaide, she/her, bi (i didn’t like the e in adelaide alskdfjlsj). Melder (metals and the like). heir to the Portingdale throne (assuming her dad doesn’t disown her). Cal’s ex from a few~ years ago she’s still a lil’ hung up on them. technically an antagonist but i love her. so all my characters are queer sue me </3 end slide seven

start slide eight some semblance of plot? coming right up!! the four (jereth isn’t there yet!) are attacked in the Inner City. turns out it’s portingdale soldiers. and then they discover that portingdale has been poisoning the southern rivers (affects worchester and the south ward) because worchester doesn’t really contribute to Kjer as a whole. word gets out, and elderwood, naturally, is even angrier at portingdale (remember, they've been at war). so, they try to stop portingdale from being power hungry enough to poison the entirety of a country while learning about why worchester is so isolated while ALSO trying not to get killed by everyone who hates them. end slide eight

start slide nine memes :> the first is the meme of spongebob reading a sheet of paper and burning it. the paper reads, "going into worchester by yourself is going to get you KILLED", and spongebob is labelled "chloe". the second is the levels of brain template labelled "jereth". from the weakest to most powerful: "trying to figure out his magic", "doing it by accident", "saving everyone's lives". the third is the sleeping person and brain meme. brain: "you're going to portingdale". cal: yeah, i know. brain: you'll see adalaide. cal's eyes are wide open in fear. the fourth says "corporate needs you to find the difference between this image and this image". the first image says, "family", and the second one says, "len, chloe, cal, jereth." eden says, "they're the same picture". the fifth is the spiderman copycat meme where jereth is copying len. end slide nine

/end transcript]

[dangermousie]

CFC 121

1. HY peeling an apple for XQC, despite not knowing how, looking miles away from the on the edge would-be murderer of 119. XQC really is his link not just to humanity, but to mundanity and gentleness, isn’t he?

2. XQC not wanting to eat it as too inconvenient and HY offering to cut it into pieces. Any time HY tries to take care of XQC my heart melts. It’s currently a puddle.

3. It’s 100% clear XQC is dying. He literally interrupts the doctor before he’s about to say stuff to say he knows because as with everything else and his pathological rejection of being a burden or seen as vulnerable, he does not want HY to know.

4. And his arm is messed up now and can’t be as good as before. Ugh, stop torturing XQC, Meatbun, I beg you! (But also, doc says it’s because he’s older; which is why HY’s identical injury healed just fine. Nope. XQC is 32 not 82. Clearly there is something else going on, see point (3).)

5. HY trying to get through to XQC about XQC’s logical fallacy - XQC clearly believes HY’s life is worth saving but they are both mental ebola patients so either both their lives are worth saving or neither. Of course he doesn’t get through but I hope it’s the first seed. One of the things I want the most for the ending is for XQC to stop seeing himself as an automaton and worthless.

6. HY point blank admitting that if XQC died, HY would utterly lose it. I love it! And XQC says he owes HY his protection and honestly that is why I think he was so eager to repay the archives - not because, as HY fears, he is overwhelmed by the desire to have no connection with HY, but because the archives gnaw at him -it was his responsibility, he brought HY in and HY got hurt. For someone who cannot stand to owe, whose meaning in life is a protector, this must have been insupportable.

7. HY behaving like an irrational moody tween is adorable but the root of it is in large part not being able to bear XQC being hurt and accepting that hurt and not valuing himself. Because yes, he yearns for XQC to have done this out of love because he wants love. But also because throwing one’s life away for a loved one does not mean you don’t value yourself. Throwing your life away for anyone, does.

8. I was flailing even in the terrible MTL.

This is kissing that isn’t lust or anger or desperation or relief. It’s just tenderness and I love it. But the other thing is - what HY says throughout this whole sequence echoes what LRQ said - people don’t want to be always protected when they love you, they want to protect and take care of you in return, for it to be mutual. Not letting someone care for you can hurt that person.

9. And I love that XQC is so at a loss because he still thinks of HY just having dependence on him due to their condition but while it may have contributed, it’s clearly much more than that now. HY loves XQC for being XQC and yes it includes his condition, but really it encompasses everything - soul, mind, body. But you can see how hugely softened XQC is because he’s just bemusedly helpless about it, not angry, repulsed or anything else.

10. HY asking for a hug and not getting it but XQC does not push him away either and lets him cling for a long time. Gotta say, the day XQC hugs HY, I am gonna ascend.

11. I love that XQC still does not get HY likes him because HY is a man. Like - this is so XQC but also kinda hilarious. HY had your dick in his mouth, he’s def into men the way straight women are also into men. But I do love that XQC is confused and feeling something, even if he can’t tell what it is.

12. YESSSS! I love that one of the reasons he can’t conceive of HY liking him is the club and the aftermath because HY tortured and humiliated him. I love that this never gets swept under the rug and HY is gonna have to deal with the fallout for a really long time.

13. HY telling XQC not to sacrifice his life for others and FINALLY getting through to him by explaining that QCY sacrificed his life for his so wouldn’t it b throwing it away? Yes, the one way to get through to a selfless man is to appeal to him not to waste someone else’s selflessness.

14. XQC patting HY’s cheek and calling him Little Devil YESSSS OMG and HY being overcome by emotion at that and I think this really is a sign of their relationship slowly healing and also how appropriate that QCY’s nickname for XQC that XQC used for HY comes back at this moment, after HY uses QCY to get through to XQC.

15. Not related to the chapter but I was thinking how well their sexual behaviors fit the rest of them - HY needs to be in control in bed because every other aspect of his life is out of control. And XQC has too much control and so it’s good for him to have somewhere where he can just let go.

[kaile-hultner]

Nihilism is so easy, which is why we need to kill it

(I initially published this here a couple weeks ago.)

So last night it dawned on me that, after over two years of being relatively symptom-free, my depression snuck back up on me and has taken over. It’s still pretty mild in comparison to other times I’ve been stuck in the hole, but after 24 months (and more) of mostly being good to go, I can tell that it’s here for a hot minute again.

How do I know? Well, it might be the fact that I spent more time sleeping during my recent vacation from work than I did just about anything else, and how it’s suddenly really hard for me to stay awake during work hours. I don’t really have an appetite, and in fact nausea hits me frequently. I don’t really have any emotional reactions to things outside of tears, even when tears aren’t super appropriate to the situation (like watching someone play Outer Wilds for the first time). And I’ve been consuming a lot of apocalyptic media, to which the only response, emotional or otherwise, I can really muster is “dude same.”

For a long time I was huge into absurdist philosophy, because it felt to my depressed brain like just the right balance between straight up denying that things are bad (and thus we should fix them, or at least try to do so) and full-blown nihilism. This gives absurdism a lot of credit; mostly it’s just a loose set of spicy existentialist ideas and shit that sounds good on a sticker, like “The only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that your very existence is an act of rebellion.”

In the last couple years, while outside of my depressive state, I went back to Camus’ work and found a lot of almost full-on abusive shit in it. Not toward anyone specifically, but shit like “nobody and nothing will care if you’re gone, so live out of spite of them all” rubs me the wrong way in retrospect. The philosophy Camus puts out opens the door for living in a very self-destructive fashion; that in fact the good life is living without care for yourself or anyone/anything else. The way Camus describes and derides suicide especially is grim as fuck, and certainly I would never recommend The Myth of Sisyphus to anyone currently struggling with ideation. That “perfect balance” between denial and nihilism is really not that perfect at all, and in fact skews much more heavily towards the latter.

Neon Genesis Evangelion has been a big albatross around my neck in terms of the media products I’ve consumed in my life that I believe have influenced my depression hardcore. It sits in a similar conversational space to Camus’ work, in that it confronts nihilism and at once rejects and facilitates it. A lot of folks remark that Evangelion is pretty unique – or at least uncommon – in its accurate portrayal of depression, especially for mid-90s anime properties. The thing I notice always seems to be missing in these discussions is that along with that accurate portrayal comes a spot-on – to me, at least – depiction of what depression does to resist being treated. This is a disease that uses a person’s rational faculties to suggest that nobody else could possibly understand their pain, and therefore there’s no use in getting better or moving forward. Shinji Ikari is as self-centered as Hideaki Anno is as I am when it comes to confronting the truth: there are paths out of this hole, but nobody else can take that step out but us, and part of our illness is that refusal to do just that. Depression lies, it provides a cold comfort to the sufferer, that there is no existence other than the one where we are in pain and there is no way out, so pull the blanket up over our head and go back to sleep.

Watching Evangelion for the first time corresponded with the onset of one of the worst depressive spirals I’ve ever been in, and so, much like the time I got a stomach virus at the same time that I ate Arby’s curly fries, I kind of can’t associate Evangelion with anything else. No matter what else it might signify, no matter what other meaning there is to derive from it, for me Eva is the Bad Feeling Anime™. Which is why, naturally, I had to binge all four of the Evangelion theatrical releases upon the release of Evangelion 3.0+1.0 Thrice Upon A Time last month.

If Neon Genesis Evangelion and End of Evangelion are works produced by someone with untreated depression just fucking rawdogging existence, then the Eva movies are works produced by someone who has gone to therapy even just one fucking time. Whether that therapy is working or not is to be determined, but they have taken that step out of the hole and are able to believe that there is a possibility of living a depression-free life. The first 40 minutes or so of Evangelion 3.0+1.0 are perfect cinema to me. The world is destroyed but there is a way to bring it back. Restoration and existence is possible even when the surface of the planet might as well be the surface of the Moon. The only thing about this is, everyone has to be on board to help. Even though WILLE fired one of its special de-corefication devices into the ground to give the residents of Village 3 a chance at survival, the maintenance of this pocket ecosystem is actively their responsibility. There is no room or time for people who won’t actively contribute, won’t actively participate in making a better world from the ashes of the old.

There are a lot of essentialist claims and assumptions made by the film in this first act about how the body interacts with the social – the concept of disability itself just doesn’t seem to have made it into the ring of safety provided by Misato and the Wunder, which seems frankly wild to me, and women are almost singularly portrayed in traditionalist support roles while men are the doers and the fixers and the makers. I think it’s worth raising a skeptical eyebrow at this trad conservative “back to old ways” expression of the post-apocalypse wherever it comes up, just as it’s important to acknowledge where the movie pushes back on these themes, like when Toji (or possibly Kensuke) is telling Shinji that, despite all the hard work everyone is doing like farming and building, the village is far from self-sufficient and will likely always rely on provisions from the Wunder.

As idyllic as the setting is, it’s not the ideal. As Shinji emerges from his catatonia, Kensuke takes him around the village perimeter. It’s quiet, rural Japan as far as the eye can see, but everywhere there are contingencies; rationing means Kensuke can only catch one fish a week, all the entry points where flowing water comes into the radius of the de-corefication devices have to be checked for blockages because the water supply will run out. There is a looming possibility that the de-corefication machines could break or shut down at some point, and nobody knows what will happen when that happens. On the perimeter, lumbering, pilot-less and headless Eva units shuffle around; it is unknown whether they’re horrors endlessly biding their time or simply ghosts looking to reconnect to the ember of humanity on the other side of the wall. Survival is always an open question, and mutual aid is the expectation. Still: the apocalypse happened, and we’re still here. The question Village 3 answers is “what now?” We move on, we adapt.

Evangelion is still a work that does its level best to defy easy interpretation, but the modern version of the franchise has largely abandoned the nihilism that was at its core in the 90s version. It’s not just that Shinji no longer denies the world until the last possible second – it’s that he frequently actively reaches out and is frustrated by other people’s denials. He wants to connect, he wants to be social, but he’s also burdened with the idea that he’s only good to others if he’s useful, and he’s only useful if he pilots the Eva unit. This last movie separates him and what he is worth to others (and himself) from his agency in being an Eva pilot, finally. In doing so, he’s able to reconcile with nearly everyone in his life who he has harmed or who has hurt him, and create a world in which there is no Evangelion. While this ending is much more wishful thinking than one more grounded in the reality of the franchise – one that, say, focuses on the existence and possible flourishing of Village 3 and other settlements like it while keeping one eye on the precarious balancing act they’re all playing – it feels better than the ending of End of Eva, and even than the last two episodes of the original series.

I’m glad the nihilism in Evangelion is gone, for the most part. I’m glad that I didn’t spend roughly eight hours watching the Evamovies only to be met yet again with a message of “everything is pointless, fuck off and die.” Because I’ve been absorbing that sentiment a lot lately, from a lot of different sources, and it really just fuckin sucks to hear over and over again.

It is a truth we can’t easily ignore that the confluence of pandemic, climate change, authoritarian surge and capitalist decay has made shit miserable recently. But the spike in lamentations over the intractability of this mix of shit – the inevitability of our destruction, to put it in simpler terms – really is pissing me off. No one person is going to fix the world, that much is absolutely true, but if everyone just goes limp and decides to “123 not it” the apocalypse then everyone crying about how the world is fucked on Twitter will simply be adding to the opening bars of a self-fulfilling prophesy.

We can’t get in a mech to save the world but then, neither realistically could Shinji Ikari. What we can do looks a lot more like what’s being done in Village 3: people helping each other with limited resources wherever they can.

Last week, Hurricane Ida slammed into the Gulf Coast and churned there for hours – decimating Bayou communities in Louisiana and disrupting the supply chain extensively – before powering down and moving inland. Last night the powerful remnants of that storm tore through the Northeast, causing intense flooding. Areas not typically affected by hurricanes suddenly found themselves in a similar boat – pun not intended – to folks for whom hurricanes are simply a fact of life. There’s a once-in-a-millennium drought and heatwave ripping through the West Coast and hey – who can forget back in February when Oklahoma and Texas experienced -20 degree temperatures for several days in a row? All of this against the backdrop of a deadly and terrifying pandemic and worsening political climate. It’s genuinely scary! But there are things we can do.

First, if you’re in a weather disaster-prone area, get to know your local mutual aid organizations. Some of these groups might be official non-profits; one such group in the Louisiana area, for example, is Common Ground Relief. Check their social media accounts for updates on what to do and who needs help. If you’re not sure if there’s one in your area, check out groups like Mutual Aid Disaster Relief for that same information. Even if you’re not in a place that expects to see the immediate effects of climate change, you should still consider linking up with organizing groups in your area. Tenant unions, homeless organizations, safe injection sites and needle exchanges, immigrant rights groups, environmental activist orgs, reproductive health groups – all could use some help right now, in whatever capacity you might be able to provide it.

In none of these scenarios are we going to be the heroes of the story, and we shouldn’t view this kind of work in that way. But neither should we give into the nihilistic impulse to insist upon doing nothing, insist that inaction is the best course of action, and get back under the blankets for our final sleep. Kill that impulse in your head, and fuck, if you have to, simply just fucking wish for that better world. Then get out of bed and help make it happen.

[captainamericasbeard]

Empathy Ch. 1

Pairing: Bucky x Empath!Reader

Word Count: 2.3k

Warnings: None in this first chapter

Summary: Y/N is an empath tasked with helping the Avengers but healing only comes if you want it. 

A/N: I’m incredibly proud and excited to be bringing you this story! If you’d like to be tagged just send an ask and I’d be happy to knock up a list. 

Empathy MASTERLIST ll MASTERLIST 

The sound of your heels clicking on linoleum filled your ears. You smoothed down the front of your skirt and tucked a stray hair behind your ear as you walked briskly down the long hallway. You reached the door to Nick Fury’s office sooner than you would have liked and you took a steadying breath as you raised your hand to knock. Tap tap tap and the door opened immediately. Nick Fury was standing there dressed all in black with his eye patch perfectly in place. You’d seen Fury from afar before, passing through a room, on tv, but you’d never been in close proximity before. He was taller than you expected.

“I’m guessing I shouldn’t shake your hand?” He asked with a chuckle.

“Not unless you want me to know exactly what you’re thinking and feeling.” You reply, a mischievous grin curling your lips.

“Maybe next time,” Fury said inviting you in with a wave of his hand.

“I’m just kidding. I don’t automatically read every person I touch, unless their emotions are running high.” You explain as Fury escorts you to a leather chair across from a small couch.  

“I know a girl who can’t touch anyone. It’s… not a fun way to live,” Fury says as he sits in the chair leaving the couch open for you. You smooth your skirt behind you and sit down crossing your legs.

“I can imagine. When I was a girl my powers were so overwhelming I wasn't able to touch anyone. Years of hard work and practice and I’m a mostly functional member of society. Director Fury, I’ve been with 3P since I was 12. Why are we pretending you don’t already know everything about me.” You drop any naiveté and fix the director with a knowing look. Fury had never taken an interest in your powers before, why now?

“Common courtesy,” Fury said with a shrug.

“Well, thank you. Why don’t we talk about why I’m really here,” you said.

“I’ve got a job for you, if you want it,” Fury offered.  

“I’ve already got a job,” you reply with an arched eyebrow. You had an inkling as to where this was going.

“You do. In my linguists department. Because after being experimented on and tortured you decided to get your PhD in ancient languages and try to contribute some good to society,” Fury said, diving once again into his seemingly encyclopedic knowledge of your life.  

“Yes sir,” you confirmed.

“And as a result of that torture and experimentation you have telempathetic powers and super strength,” Fury said.

“In a nutshell, yes.” Let him think he knows everything, even you didn’t know the true extent of your powers.

Fury leaned back in his seat and fixed you with an inscrutable glare. Penny in the air.

“I have a select group of high functioning people with specific skills I’d like you to work with,” Fury stated. And the penny drops.

“I’m not interested in becoming an Avenger, sir” you said.

“Not becoming one of them, helping them. No field work. I’ve got enough super soldiers.” You smiled at that. It was true, you had no desire to throw yourself into the fray and save the world. But helping, that was something you were good at.

“Helping how?” You asked, your curiosity piqued.

“The team gets themselves into some pretty sticky situations and it’s not always easy for them to bounce back, mentally or emotionally. You would be there to… lighten the load, as only you can,” Fury said

“I’m not a therapist,” you said firmly.  

“I’ve got therapists. The team goes regularly. Requirement for being on the payroll. I’m asking you to take it that step further. Help ‘em sleep at night.” You were beginning to catch on.

“I understand. Help their minds rest a bit so things like therapy can be that much more effective,” you said.

“That’s the idea,” Fury said.

“I think I can be of assistance,” you consent. “What about linguistics?”

“What about it? You keep at it. You’re one of our best and I’d hate to lose you,” Fury stated. It was true, you excelled at languages. You worked twice as hard and with higher accuracy than your counterparts. You took a moment to consider Fury’s offer and what it would mean for your life and career. You had reservations but ultimately the thought of using your powers for good won out.

“When do I start,” you ask.  

“You have dinner with the team at 8:00 tonight,” Fury said as he stood up. You stood too and followed him to the door as he held it open for you.  

“8:00. I’ll be there. Thank you Director,” you said.

“No, thank you,” Fury said as you stepped out of his office. You gave him a smile and started down the hallway.

“Oh and Y/n? Maybe you can do something for Barnes,” Fury called after you.

“Sergeant Barnes? What do you mean,” you ask, turning on your heel. “Let’s just say, he’s a troubled man," Fury said with one last glare. With that he shut the door and you were left to ponder what he meant. You started down the hallway and were met by Fury’s assistant who informed you you would be moving into the Avenger’s quarters.

“Go home and pack a bag for a couple of days and we will come by for the rest of your things,” he said.

…

The Avengers occupied the top 4 levels of the main building of the compound. Sprawling common spaces, private rooms, and a gym made up the bulk of the quarters. Tony had a lab and his own private quarters with Pepper. Natasha, Sam, Bucky, and Steve had their own rooms and shared the common areas.

The elevator carried you up and up and up and as you rose your nerves rose too. You clutched your overnight bag in your hand and your knuckles went white. You took a few deep, steadying breaths as the elevator arrived. The doors opened and there stood Steve Rogers, arms crossed and a neutral look on his face. You could feel the apprehension rolling off him but you knew mentioning that would start you off on the wrong foot. You put on your most winning smile and extended your hand. He glanced at it but made no move to shake it so you let it fall. You were used to it.

“So, you’re Y/N,” Steve stated.

“That’s me,” you replied.

“You can leave your bag here. Kitchen’s this way. Don’t expect a warm welcome.” Steve led you through a tastefully decorated common room to the kitchen where the rest of the team sat chatting quietly. The conversation, clearly about you, died away with your entrance. The team turned to greet you. For those who smiled it didn’t reach their eyes. You could feel fear, panic, judgement. You knew you had some huge walls to scale.

“Don’t worry guys, I don’t bite,” you said holding up your hands defensively.

“Don’t mind them,” Sam said approaching you with a hand extended, “they’re a little wary around people who can read their thoughts.” You gratefully shook Sam’s hand.

“I’m not reading anyone’s thoughts, certainly not without their permission. Though you guys are going to have to calm down if you don’t want me knowing how much you dislike me,” you added with a light chuckle.

“Not dislike. Distrust.” Natasha clarified.

“No, its a bit of dislike too. And that’s ok. We have to start somewhere,” you countered, keeping a charming smile on your lips.  

“Hungry?” Sam asked, “It's spaghetti night. My speciality,” He said with a toothy grin.

“Famished,” you replied and sat down and the team followed. “Let’s hold off the questions until after we’ve eaten though. Interrogation’s not great for my digestion.” A few laughed at that and you soon settled into a conversation lead mostly by Sam with Steve and Nat chiming in here and there. Bucky remained stoic, eyes down picking at his food. You tried to catch his eye at first to give him a reassuring smile but he was actively avoiding your gaze.

As the meal ended the light hearted conversation faded away. One by one the team leaned back in their chairs and fixed you with interrogative stares. You were careful not to adopt a defensive stance, keeping your body open and your mind clear. You knew Steve would want to take the lead so you turned to him with a smile.

“Why are you here, Y/N?” Steve asked abruptly.

“I told you, I’m here to help. No ulterior motive,” you replied simply. Steve and Natasha exchanged a quick glance and that’s when you knew these questions had been rehearsed.

“Are you a spy? You report back to Fury?” Natasha asked.

“Not a spy and I don’t report to anyone. Everything I do stays between us.” You knew you couldn’t lie to Natasha even if you wanted to.

“So what’s your deal,” Sam asks, “Telempathetic? What does that even mean?”

“It means I can read and manipulate emotions. I can make a group of people feel one thing or I can focus on just one person. I can heal emotional damage or cause it. I can tell what you’re feeling and even thinking to an extent.”

“What else you got?” Bucky asked in a gruff voice. This you could see caught the others off guard. Bucky was reading you and he was doing a damn good job.

“My physicality is much like yours and Steve’s,” you answered. Steve’s eyebrow went up at this. You felt like you’d been caught in a lie.  

"How do you mean?” Steve asked.

“Increased strength and agility. Increased healing factor. Longer than average life span. That sort of thing.”

“So you're a super solider?” Bucky stated. He was watching you with arms crossed and brow furrowed. You had your work cut out for you with this one.

“Super without the solider,” you explained.

“Fury doesn’t want you in the field?” Steve questioned.

“No, and I don’t want to be there. I’m not here to be an Avenger. I'm just here to help,” you said.

“Help how?” Natasha asked.

“When a mission is too much, or even life is too much, I can help. I can ease your burdens. It's… hard to explain.”

"Show us. Show us what you’ve got.” Sam challenges.

“I'll need a volunteer from the audience,” you said with a coy smile.  

“You said you could do a group. Do all of us,” you felt fear spike in the group and you didn’t need to ask where it came from.

“Not everyone here is comfortable with what I can do. I’d like a willing volunteer,” you said.  

“I asked so I guess I'll do it. Why not. You’re not gonna mess with my memories or anything, are you?” You catch Bucky visibly squirm in his seat at this question.

“No, no, not at all. Nothing like that. If you feel me going somewhere you don’t want me to simply close that door and I’ll stay out. Can I touch your shoulder?” you ask and Sam nods.

“Do you have to be touching the person?” Steve asks curiously.

“No, but it helps,” you say with a soft smile. You reach out and gently lay a hand on Sam’s shoulder. You feel his tension, and his distrust. Suddenly a giggle erupts from Sam’s lips. He claps his hand over his mouth but more soon follow. Steve and Nat glance at each other and Bucky’s scowl deepens as Sam keeps laughing. He’s roaring now, doubled over with tears streaming down his cheeks. Steve chuckles and shakes his head.

“Alright, alright,” he says. You take your hand off Sam’s shoulder and his laughter slowly abates. He chuckles and wipes the tears from his cheeks.

“That was a trip! I’ve never felt anything like that! How’d you do that?” Sam asked. “That I can’t answer. I don’t know the how behind it.”

“But you were experimented on. I mean, you weren’t born like this.” Bucky asked.

“Come on Buck, she doesn’t have to go into that,” Steve said surprising you.

“No, it’s ok. Yes, I was experimented on. By Hydra. My father, he was a scientist and a genius but his experiments were of the unethical variety. Hydra found him disgraced and gave him a home. They gave him the freedom of human experimentation without consequences. And who better to transform than his own daughter.” A ripple of disgust passed through the group at your revelation. “He thought he was creating a god but I only thought I was a monster. I escaped and sought refuge here at Shield with 3P. I put myself through school, college, all under Shield’s protection.”

“3P?” Sam asked.

“Shield’s Powered Protection Program. They take in people with abilities who for one reason or another aren’t safe out in the world,” Natasha answered for you and you nodded.

“Alright, that’s enough for one day. Let’s let Y/N get settled.” Steve said ending the interview. The team seemed finally satisfied. They didn’t trust you yet but they weren’t going to throw you out of the compound. Steve rose and you followed him to the elevator to pick up your bag and on to a hallway lined with doors. Yours was the second on the right.

“Bucky’s on your right and I’m across the hall,” Steve said waving his hand.

“Thanks Steve.”  

“Is that all you have,” he asked pointing to your small bag.

“For now. Logistics is bringing over the rest of my things in the next few days. I just live on campus,” Steve’s face softened a bit at this.

“You know for most of us, this is the only family we’ve got. We’re just protecting what’s most valuable to us,” he explained apologetically.

“I understand. And I’m not offended. I’m here if any of you need me,” you replied.  

“Well, don’t hold your breath on that. I’ll leave you to settle in,” he said with a small smile and closed your door.

[sapphirerubycreates]

Missed Messages: March’s vent

Chapter Summary:  Anti eavesdrops on Robin venting to Marvin about a shitty class partner (retconned to March)

AU: Missed Messages

content warning: mentions of mistreatment, soft!Anti

...

Second to last Saturday in March, Marvin & Robin’s senior year

-----------------

Anti started getting thirsty after spending far too long working on his mini project in his room. And per usual, he decided to teleport into the kitchen in order to get a drink. And somewhere between grabbing the water pitcher from the fridge and grabbing a glass from the cupboard, he heard voices. Marvin, he recognized that voice in an instant; he could recognize it from a breath or a single sound. The girl however, Anti took a second or two to figure out it was Robin.

“I do and I don’t.” Anti poured himself some water and started drinking.

“That sounds like you do.”

“It’s the same shit it always is. You already know how it is.”

“Yes, I do.” Anti put down his water and moved to the doorway to observe the two nesters. Robin had her head down and Marvin was facing her. Marvin moved an arm towards her, but then he stopped and placed his hand on the couch instead. “You can still vent about him though,” Marvin assured Robin. Anti slinked back into the kitchen, eavesdropping from a place neither would see him.

“*sigh* I just... At this point, the project is my baby. Mine. Cause I’m doing everything for it. Like, Manda even told me how to build the right motor. That’s all his job is, and my friend told me how to do it in one afternoon.

“And I found out that he hasn’t been cc’ing me on emails to the sponsor. So, I texted him being like, I need you to tell me things. And he comes off like, ‘well, you’re rude, so that made me less inclined to share.’ Like, I get you think I’m a bitch, but that doesn’t give you the right to withhold information. I still share what I’m doing. Maybe not in the most professional of ways, but like, I still do it.

“Oh and get this. There are apparently people who think that I am the one who’s not doing anything.”

“What!?”

“Yeah. Like, I understand if they think I’m mean and bitchy, because at this point that is unfortunately how I talk with him. But like, no, he does jack shit except- no. Urrgggh. He- he’s a used car salesman. He is fantastic at presentations. But like, that’s it. He has written stuff for the reports, but all he cares to contribute are things I can’t answer myself because I’m not an EE. And I just-”

There was a long pause without any sighs. Anti peeked around the corner. There was Marvin, embracing Robin in a huge hug. He went back to hiding and waited for them to continue talking. It apparently took a few minutes for that to happen.

“What can I do for you?”

“Don’t let me talk about him. Cause I don’t want him taking up this much space in my life. But... *sigh* just, let me vent, when I need to.”

“But I feel like I should do more. Cause this is not okay.”

“...I know it’s not.” Her voice was much softer than it had been.

“Then let me tell him off for you.”

“No, don’t do that.”

“Why not? He deserves it.”

“Because it’s just going to end up worse for me if you do. He’d probably stop speaking to me altogether instead of this fake polite talk he’s got going on. Maybe he’d even stop doing work, and then I’m doing all of everything for these reports. And besides, don’t you think I’d deserve to be told off too?”

“What? No! Being rude is one thing. Being a jackass and burdening your partner with an extremely unfair amount of work is an entire other. They aren’t even comparable!”

She didn’t reply to him.

“You shouldn’t have to try to see things from his side. You have been wronged. Full stop.”

“But so-”

“No no no. No both sides-ing this shit. I guarantee you he doesn’t even think about how his actions have affected you.” They all waited in silence. Anti was beginning to wonder if he should do more research into Robin and her other relationships. “Now, is there anything, besides being an awesome friend who is going to get you some cookies and pizza later, that I can do for you?”

“... ... I’m... I’ve been thinking about talking to Nelson again, but I don’t know if it’s worth it since we only have like, three weeks left until showcase. I don’t know if there’s anything he can even do this late.”

“He can always lower the guy’s grade.”

“Yeah, but like, it’s a he-said she-said at this point. Besides, the adult thing is to try and settle things between us, but we can’t even do that. So, I just look like a whiny bitch going to him again.”

“No. You are strong for standing up for yourself. You tried talking to him, and it won’t work. He is not doing his part and you’re suffering massively. Anyone with eyes can see that.”

“Don’t pretend like you’re not biased by hearing me rant every week.”

“Well... I saw your presentation last week.”

“Wait, you saw me present?”

“Yeah.”

“But- how-”

“Doesn’t matter. Point is, I saw. Yes, he was suave when he talked, but you had far more to say than he did. And I know that you created all those slides and could have done the presentation solo.”

“... I still had a migraine when I was presenting, you know. Though, I would have been just as inarticulate without it.”

“... Then that makes it even more amazing that you were able to remember and recite all that while in pain. But, I hate that you had to stress yourself like that.”

“...”

“Point is, Nelson can see your work. He’s smart enough to know the con, isn’t he?”

“...”

“You want me to go with you when you talk to Nelson?”

“hhhuuhh. Yes and no. I can’t have someone fight my battles for me. I can’t have you in the room while I rat out my partner. Maybe just... waiting outside?”

“I can do that. Whatever you need.” There was a pause for maybe a half minute. “Okay. Here. Put something good on.”

“No, I still have work to do.”

“You have worked enough for today. What was it, four hour straight this morning? You need to relax.”

“I’ll relax when I’m dead.” There was the sound of fabric moving. “Hey, hey,” she started giggling. “Alright, I’ll try.”

“Good. You want a drink or anything?”

“Water, please.”

Finally, he heard someone get up from the couch. Anti moved further back so he wouldn’t impede whoever came into the kitchen. Marvin walked past him without realizing he was there. Perfect time for a small scare.

Anti leaned back against the countertop on his side of the kitchen, and just said a simple “Hey.” It was fun to watch Marvin scrunch and clutch his chest as he turned to look.

“Jeezus Christ, Anti.” Anti snickered at his handiwork. “What... How long have you been down here?”

No way he’d tell the truth. Especially since Marvin was too focused on his crush to have noticed him earlier. “Long enough to hear you admit you sneak around to check up on her.”

“Keep your voice down,” Marvin urged, lowering his own voice and rushing over to put a hand over Anti’s mouth.

Anti playfully pushed Marvin’s hand away. “Fine fine.” Marvin glared at him a second before moving back to the cupboard for glasses. Anti followed behind. He kept his voice quieter. “So, what are you gonna do to that rat bastard partner of hers?”

“Nothing,” Marvin responded curtly, pouring water from the pitcher that had been left out of the fridge by Anti.

“Come on, that’s not like you; I thought I taught you to fight for the little guy. Or hell, be a knight in shining armor for your lady in waiting.”

“That–...” he finished pouring the first glass. “I’m respecting her wishes.” He solemnly started pouring the second glass.

“Even if it hurts her?”

Marvin sighed. He put the glass down and returned the water pitcher to the fridge. Picking up the glasses of water, he left without responding to Anti. Though, perhaps that itself was enough of a response.

Anti followed his brother into the living room. “Hey Robin.”

“Hey Anti,” she quickly greeted before turning back to the television.

“I hear you have an ass of a partner.”

“I... I don’t want to talk about that anymore.”

“That’s all fine and good. Just, tell me his name.”

She rolled her head back towards him. He tried to give his best dopey smile. That was supposed to put people at ease. “... Don’t do anything to him.”

Anti wanted to play around and joke around like saying you’re not the boss of me, but he had paused. And in that pause, he saw her. Her eyes tired of begging. Eyes done with all of it. Eyes that didn’t need jokes.

“Alright, fine,” he begrudged, walking over towards her. “Let me do something for you then. Give me your hand.” Reluctantly, she placed the remote in her lap and gave her right hand. “Now, breathe slowly.”

Anti grabbed her wrist in such a way that he could read her pulse. But, so as not to alarm her, he started massaging the inside of her palm. He found that massaging helped make the recipient of his ‘treatment’ more at ease.

Her pulse was fast. Not like she just ran a mile, but much faster than it should have been when at rest. And thanks to Henrik and Robin, he learned about the heart’s electrical impulses. And being someone who could control electricity (and having practiced on others, including himself), he could change that heart rate with his electricity. Slow it down to where it should be. The body would soon follow the heart’s guide.

But after maybe ten seconds of slowly working to get her heart at a good pace, she suddenly pulled her hand back and held it over her chest. “What- what did you do?”

“Nothing,” he instinctively responded.

“No, my, my my heart. What- what were you doing?” Marvin jumped onto the couch seat next to her.

“You were stressed,” he defended himself. “I was just helping.”

“No, no magic.” She shook her head, still clutching the area over her heart. “I- I don’t want magic used on me.” She brought her knees up to herself, one hand over her heart, the other holding her legs close to her chest. “I know you were trying, but just- no.”

With any luck, now her heart was beating even faster. Most people wouldn’t have even noticed the subtle changes he was making. Anti teleported to his room, unwilling to stay there just to be yelled at.

It’s not like he dramatically dropped her heart rate. She shouldn’t have noticed; she shouldn’t have freaked out. “You’ve got quite an interesting girl there, Marvin,” he murmured to himself.

But Anti had something else to focus on. First, he pulled from the Sms to Text backup that he’d installed on her phone. He ran in it through his program he was building to identify any red flags. He examined the list of who she texted over the past four months, and with a bit of a cheat sheet, he identified all of them as her friends; no shitty bastard here.

So, next step was the backed up phone record. There were a few hour-long calls flagged. A few new numbers, but a quick search revealed they were only businesses. No leads.

Moving on, he spent a few minutes getting himself access to her school email. There were so many emails in the inbox, and a whole bunch of folders. He didn’t even know what class this partner was in. And he then smacked himself in the forehead: he wasn’t emailing her, and that was one of the issues.

Aside from going through every messaging app on her phone (which wasn’t easy to do remotely), the last thing he could think of was to go through her files. Only, he didn’t know which cloud service she used for what. Or worse, if she just kept everything local to her computer.

Anti laid back on his bed and breathed out. Thirty minutes and nothing so far. So he focused instead on what he could do: plan for what to do to the prick. He wasn’t worth a spell, so maybe just a good old fashioned beat down. No way he’d just yell and berate him; no one listened to words without Anti adding an electric emphasis.

But he had to do something. No normal person freaks out when someone tries to help them calm down. No normal person lets themselves be mistreated.

And no good man can stand by without trying to stop abuse.

[peachcitt]

I've seen a lot of people saying that rot was BAD, what is your opinion?

OH IM SO GLAD YOU ASKED

like most people (im sure) after finishing rise of the titans, after wiping up my tears i went to the rot tag to see maybe some gifs or something. you know, make myself cry a little more. instead, i found a bunch of people saying how much they hated the ending, how it was as terrible as some of the worst big finale bombs (endgame, game of thrones, etc) and uh. im not saying the ending is perfect, but it is DEFINITELY not as disastrous as what people are making it out to be, in my opinion. i thoroughly enjoyed the movie, actually, and i thought it was an effective way to end the tales of arcadia.

warning: rise of the titans spoilers, as well as general tales of arcadia spoilers

were there some things i didn't like? yeah!

the major things i didn't like align with a lot of what i see other people saying:

the weird mpreg plotline with steve. it just felt so strange and out of place, and it was used as a tactic to remove eli and steve from the major action, which i don't like.

and the 'ninth configuration' thing that, once again, excluded eli and steve. i didn't see a reason why they shouldn't have been there, seeing as they have contributed to trollhunting since nearly the start of all of the tales of arcadia. multiples of three are clean and smooth, i get it, but at the expense of two characters that were so lovingly developed in trollhunters and 3below?? yikes

with that being said, though, i don't agree with what a lot of people are saying about the time travel at the end. obviously, they bring up some good points - by changing the timeline so drastically, there's no way for jim to ensure that they'll be able to succeed or if the arcane order will even act in the same way. it's a big 'if' and it is worth thinking about

but people have been saying that the ending is out of jim's character and negates his arc, and i have to say. that's not true.

if you've been following my blog since july 1st, you'll know that ive spent the past twenty one days rewatching the entire tales of arcadia series at a steady pace, and within that time, i've paid a whole lot of attention to jim's arc as a character and how the finale of trollhunters left me feeling as if something just wasn't clicking right. his arc wasn't finished.

because all throughout trollhunters, jim is constantly having to prove his worth - and most of the time, the way he's proving his worth is by sacrificing himself. he takes all the blame when anything goes wrong, and on some level, jim never truly learns the lesson from season one of trollhunters that he's enough as a hero because he has his friends to back him up. like, yeah, he relies on them a bit more after that, but in the end, he still stands in the bathroom alone, separated from all his allies, and shoulders the burden of turning into a troll alone. and he leaves arcadia, the city he was fighting so hard to protect, and he leaves his best friend, the one that has been with him since the beginning.

then we get wizards, where jim lets himself be corrupted to save his friends. and then, because of that sacrifice, he ends up hurting all of them. i believe this fact - that he willingly corrupted himself, separated himself from his allies, and ended up hurting the people he loved - shook jim's foundation as a hero, which is why he can't believe he's the trollhunter without the amulet. the amulet was the physical manifestation of what it meant to be a hero to him, but it was destroyed when he was corrupted - it was destroyed when he hurt his friends.

that's how we see him in rise of the titans; he's still struggling with his identity as a hero because he doesn't have the amulet or the unshakable foundation he previously had of his heroism. literally everyone is looking for him to be the leader and make the huge, world-saving-or-destroying decisions, but he can't shoulder that huge burden knowing he could hurt everyone. and then, just to add fuel to the fire, it's his plan that causes people to die or be permanently separated from the group. and he can't even get the sword out of the stone! why? because he himself doesn't see himself as worthy - how can you think of yourself as worthy when you just got two of your allies killed and two more gone, presumably for forever?

but this is the moment it finally clicks for jim. he looks around at his allies, and he sees them reflected in the amulet. he's not alone, he doesn't have to be worthy just by himself, he has an entire group of people who have fought by his side time and time again that, even despite all the mistakes and missteps he's made, are still by his side.

and what makes the amulet work, in the final fight, is his firm determination to see this fight through, no matter if he has the armor or not. he's terrified, he's probably going to die - but it's that bravery despite the fear that makes him a hero, a trollhunter, amulet or not. and he knows that now - he's had to face it before, in the unbecoming episode, but it's different now. in the unbecoming episode, he was truly alone when he decided to face the fight. and he's alone here in rise of the titans - but not for long! because almost immediately after jim comes to terms with his place as a hero again, toby comes along, and he doesn't finish this fight alone!! he finishes this fight with another trollhunter, who doesn't have an amulet!!

jim deciding to rewind time to back before the events of trollhunters is a bold choice, but it tracks with a theme in wizards - merlin told douxie that what set him apart as a master wizard was his belief that every life was valuable and worthy of being saved. this theme is repeated in the new amulet in rise of the guardians; it's for the glory of all, not just for one person.

and jim deciding to have toby become the trollhunter finally marks the completion of jim's arc. instead of shouldering the burden alone, which is inevitably what would've happened if jim had rewound time, kept all of his memories, and accepted the amulet again, jim is choosing to accept allies into his life sooner. instead of being the trollhunter, jim is letting himself be a trollhunter, alongside all the other trollhunters.

of course, there's some things in this alternate timeline i don't like; mainly that no one stepped in to stop steve from bullying eli. that, to me, was the most out of character, and i can only assume jim didn't step in because he's leaving room for that fight to be toby's; competing against steve was a large jumpstart to jim feeling like he could be strong enough to bear the mantle, and maybe jim was just trying leave it up to toby to establish that on his own. still, i didn't like it.

and, of course, there are people lamenting the fact that none of the heroes of arcadia know each other or that they might not have the same relationships, but i immediately thought of the time loop episode in 3below. in that episode, the trollhunters team and the gang from 3below meet and become friends and ultimately lose the memory of that friendship from that day. however, in that episode, blinky says that true friendship would last against the test of time; if they were meant to be together, then they would be. and guess what? even though none of them remember that happening, they all still became friends. it was meant to be.

i think a lot of anxieties about the changed timeline are because people loved the events of trollhunters so much that they a) don't want to see anything changed and/or b) are trying to project the events of trollhunters onto the new timeline and are upset when they don't fit. toby won't be the same kind of hero that jim is, though - he never has been. inevitably, the story will be different, and that's scary. that was the risk jim took, though, and jim has always trusted in toby, so why shouldn't we?

to me, tales of arcadia has never been about clean endings that make you feel entirely good. they've always left me with a tang of bitter along with the sweet, and i think that's the point. tales of arcadia has always battled with hard questions and difficult endings, and i don't see rise of the titans being any different from that.

like i said before, i don't think rise of the titans is perfect. but you can hate it as much as you want; i still really think it did a good job with the story it was trying to tell. i mean, ending with the idea that all lives are important and worth saving, no matter the risk? that heroism inherently means being part of a collective that you trust and believe in? that through time and space, you will always be able to find and connect with the people you love? that's powerful.

im climbing off my soapbox now, but basically tl;dr: rise of the titans was a good finale, despite it's imperfections, and i think that's all i can ask for.

also if you don't like toby as the trollhunter just because you don't like him breaking out of the 'funny sidekick' archetype you can die by my blade

[sho-cah-toa]

This was originally just going to be what Sho has been/is planning, but it turned into a huge (like 11-paragraph) analysis of his actions in NEO as well as potential post-NEO verses, so uhhhhhhhh:

WHAT’S SHO BEEN UP TO? When Sho comes back after the events of TWEWY, he feels an even greater burden to set things right in Shibuya. During the Long Game, he believed that the Composer was the top dog in the UG, and that assuming that role would allow him to run things as he saw fit.

However, the Shibuya he returns to is different; the Composer is gone, as is Hanekoma. He does some digging (maybe even finds a few Secret Reports) and learns about the Higher Plane and their influence over every part of the UG, even the Composer. Suddenly, it’s not just one person he has to take down, but a cadre of literal Angels.

He lays low and stays in the 2-Year Game as a player, keeping above the threshold for erasure while staying solo and gathering more information about the Angels and the overall hierarchy of the Higher Plane, and also learns about Shiba’s gambit. After a while, the number of players starts to slow to a trickle, and the teams get harder and harder to keep up with. Sho puts together that the Game is searching for stronger and stronger players, and decides to align himself with the next group of players that wind up in the UG to prevent Shibuya’s erasure. That’s where Fret and Rindo (and later, Nagi) come in.

SO WHY DOES SHO TURN ON THE TWISTERS? Once Sho catches wind that Neku is back, he immediately ditches the Twisters to go looking for him, but finds nothing. He realizes that his time to act is running out; Shibuya is on its way to the same fate as Shinjuku, and the Replay pin is playing right into their plan. In a final act of desperation, he attacks the Twisters and tries to steal the pin to throw off whatever plan Shiba and the angels have, as well as to use the power of the pin to stop Shibuya’s destruction himself. We all know how well that goes.

As he recovers from this fight, he sees what the Twisters are capable of as a team, and for the first time in his stupid life, realizes that there’s strength in numbers (ironic). He aids in the battle for Shibuya (I could write a whole other text post about this, the fact that no individual person saves Shibuya but that the entire city both RG and UG contributes is beautiful and I cried) and his current plan for taking on the Higher Plane begins to form.

OKAY ZANDER WHAT’S THE PLAN ALREADY Sho is making sure that everyone in a high-ranking position in the UG is someone who cares deeply about Shibuya and its people. This includes the Conductor, the Game Master, the Composer, and the Producer. He believes (and will try to convince these positions) that the Higher Plane has turned its back on Shibuya and will try to destroy it again before long.

The solution, according to Sho, is to break all ties with the Higher Plane and fail to comply with their rules. A new game begins, with only one goal: defend Shibuya at all costs. Fail, and face purification. All new arrivals to the UG are recruited to fight for the city they love and live in; much like the Reaper’s Game, those with exceptional Imagination and devotion to Shibuya are given Reaper status and abilities.

Now, the one thing Sho has been unable to learn at this point is exactly how strong the Higher Plane actually is, which is why he’s recruiting everyone he can to defend Shibuya once they go AWOL. The way he sees it, the worst case scenario is they “purify” Shibuya, which he believes they are going to try to do anyways. His hope is that an army of Players, Reapers, and a few fallen Angels will be more trouble than they’re worth, and the Higher Plane will eventually come to an armistice with the newly liberated city.

FUTURE PLOT STUFF The way I personally see this going down plays out in a few different ways, each of which could probably be their own verse to play in. One is that Sho’s plan goes exactly as he expects, and the Reaper’s Game becomes one of defending Shibuya from the Higher Plane. Reapers lead teams of Players, research weapons/methods of defeating the Angels, and refine Noise for various battle purposes. Sho would remain a Reaper, becoming a decent tactician and always leading from the front.

Another is that Sho cannot convince the Composer to choose Shibuya over their duties to the Higher Plane, and he once again has to fight for the role to enact his plan. This is, admittedly, an incredibly selfish timeline, because what Sho RPer doesn’t want to do a Composer Sho verse where he realizes what a bummer the position actually is. In this timeline, I don’t think the city has a chance of succeeding, due to Sho’s insecurities and other negative traits trickling down into Shibuya’s inhabitants.

There is a third option, which is that everyone calls Sho out on how crazy his plan is and tells him to kick rocks. He decides that if he must, he will take on the Higher Plane himself, because damn my boy is stupid. He obviously fails, but hmmmmm say the Angels, what a shame it would be to waste such zeal and power, what if he just had a more righteous direction? You’re probably ahead of me already so I’ll just say it: Executor Sho. If you can’t beat em, join em, and if Shibuya’s going to fall, let it be the first domino of many, and let that be its legacy. Darkest timeline, I’d probably hate writing for it, but it’s there as a possibility.

[maggiecheungs]

atots as a disability narrative

finally posting my mini essay about atots and disability one (1) hour before episode 4 airs. putting this under the cut because it’s long. cw for discussions of casual ableism, suicidal ideation, death, disability, mental health.

(note: throughout i refer to tian’s disability, which we obviously don’t know the details of; i mainly mean it as a catch-all term for the health difficulties he faces, unlike most abled people, which continue on even after his transplant)

after episode 1 i remarked on how i read tian’s story as a disability narrative, but i wanted to wait to get a bit more info before i expanded on that. after episode 3, i think i can take a bash at outlining the main things that struck me--but there’s so much more i could say about this topic, so feel free to ask for clarification. also i obviously haven’t watched episode 4 yet, so that might change things! and of course, tian is filthy rich so his experiences with the practicalities of disability are somewhat mitigated/different from most experiences of disability... but in an ableist society, there are obviously some basic similarities in the way disability is perceived and experienced. so far, here are some of the main themes that i’ve noticed in atots:

the space between wellness and unwellness

in our society, wellness is constructed as part of a binary. one is either well (perfectly fucntional, capable of working) or unwell (ill enough to be incapable of functioning in a ‘normal’ manner). the default state is, of course, wellness; people get ill sometimes, of course, but they return to that default. however, people with disabilities and long-term health conditions can’t do that--and in the society in which we live, there aren’t accomodations for this sort of existence. 

tian has spent the past few years living in the space between wellness and unwellness. it’s the space of hospital waiting rooms and people treating you like you’re fragile. it’s the space of always waiting for something to happen; waiting for the other shoe to drop, waiting for the people around you to get tired of you. in tian’s case, waiting for death.

tian has spent the past years stuck in this liminal space: ostensibly well enough to live a fairly normal life, but not enough to do so properly. he--and everyone else around him--is just waiting, and it prevents him from forming any close emotional connections or long-term plans. even if he could forget about it for a while, others remind him through their behaviour and treatment of him. before his surgery, he isn’t allowed just exist on a day-to-day basis. his very existence is overshadowed by the threat of its end. 

being stifled by others

in episode one, we get a glimpse of the near-complete erosion of personal boundaries tian has undergone over the past few years. after his operation, his mother panics when he leaves the house; she and his father stifle his freedom. at the same time, their fixation on ‘keeping him safe and healthy’ prevents them from seeing what he actually needs on an emotional level, which can be just as dangerous.

tian doesn’t just have to deal with his own feelings; he has to deal with his mother’s anxieties about him. he has to act well to assuage her fears. (tbh, neither of them handled the situation in the best possible way but... there isn’t really ‘a best way’ for this sort of situation? it’s more just limiting collateral damage.) similarly, his father blames him (or appears to blame him) for the suffering his mother is going through. 

it turns into a thing where he feels as if he owes them wellness (or the appearance of it). he doesn’t feel like he can be vulnerable around them. he puts on a similarly blasé act with his friends, because he doesn’t want them to treat him the same way his parents do--like he’s made of glass. which leads to....

pushing himself beyond his limits

tian feels like he has something to prove. he wants to prove that he’s not a burden... which becomes the characterising theme of his stay in the village.

in going to stay at the village, tian’s managed to mostly escape the spectre of ‘unwellness’ that has haunted him for so long, as well as all the people who stifle him. now that he’s free, he wants to learn to stand on his own two feet; to prove it to himself and to everyone who doubted he could (his parents, phupha, etc.).

however, while this is great for him on one level, it’s not great on another. because in tian’s mind, his disability is equated with being a burden. (this is not unsurprising, given that we live in a hugely ableist society and given his own experiences with his parents.) now that he’s out of the stifling environment of his past, tian feels like asking for help or taking care of himself would be a concession of weakness/burdensome to those around him.

that means, when other people unthinkingly hold him to ableist standards which his body literally cannot accomodate, tian will push himself to the limit rather than admit that he ‘falls short’. this is something that could have grave--potentially fatal--consequences.

HOWEVER! this seems to be changing! he seems to be growing past his feeling that ‘disability = burden’. in episode 3, he voluntarily told kalae about his having to take medication, and actively equated taking care of oneself with maturity/strength (”kalae, i also take pills. grown-up men have no problem taking pills. do you want to be a child or a grown-up?”)

i’ll be interested to see how this progresses. hopefully when/if he discloses his condition to phupha, it will go some way towards helping him move past all the self-directed ableism he’s internalised. also it should stop phupha from inadvertently pushing him to exceed his limits. (i predict that one area of tension between them will be phupha’s worry about tian--if their relationship is to succeed, phupha needs to be aware and accomodating of tian’s needs without stifling him/treating him like he’s made of glass as his parents did)

survivor’s guilt

a lot of this might be unconscious, but... tian has, in his mind, done nothing with his life--unlike torfun. while tian was alive and being a burden on everyone around him, gambling his few remaining years away, torfun was being one of the best, kindest, most generous people in the world. inevitably, living in her house and interacting with her people, he compares himself to her at every turn. she could help the villagers where he cannot. she should be here, not him. her heart is wasted on him.

but this is changing! in the most recent episode (3) we can see him building bonds with the villagers on his own merits. in the first few episodes i was worried that tian’s journey would be represented as but a shadow of torfun’s, but he’s forging his own indivdiual journey. similarly, his relationship with phupha seems to be individual to him, rather than a copy of the relationhship with torfun (but i guess we’ll find out more in the next few episodes). 

suicidal ideation

as mentioned above, tian has spent his entire life waiting for death. now, that looming spectre has disappeared, but it’s still a part of his identity. for years, he’s shaped his sense of self around that fact: he is going to die, so it does not matter what he does or does not do (this post sums it up really well!) he’s reckless because why the fuck shouldn’t he be? even if he’s not necessarily actively suicidal, for a while he seems to be passively suicidal.

this is also starting to show signs of change--as he overcomes his survivor’s guilt, builds genuine connections with the people around him, and feels like he’s contributing to something bigger than himself.

which leads me to the overriding theme of the series: tian’s going to have to learn to love himself, disabilities and all. he’s starting to build himself back up in the village, but he can’t treat it only as an escape. at some point, he’s going to need to face all the things i’ve mentioned in this essay and work through them. hopefully phupha will be there to help him, but this isn’t a ‘love cures all ills’ situation. loving phupha won’t ‘fix’ him; tian needs to love himself.

but... honestly, i have faith. i was really cautious after watching the first episode, because i’ve seen so many shows handle disability badly. but atots has exceeded my expectations in every other way so far, and i am truly excited to see where it goes next <3

[ardentperfidy]

it’s late and i’m extremely fucking high and i just need to rant for a while about the fucking ✨shakespearean tragedy✨ that is the todoroki family. 

because i feel like as a fandom we’re all doing too much looking for a definitive narrative that says that this one person is the bad guy (whether your choice be dabi or endeavor) and everyone else is a blameless victim and like, No. the exquisite tragedy of it all is how tragic it is for basically every member of the family and how basically everyone’s actions, while ultimately contributing to the horror, were in isolation understandable, if not excusable. (this got so fucking long i put it below a cut you’re welcome to the two people who’ll read this)

like, right off the bat we’ve got endeavor. and, hot take here, i actually think that shouto is not endeavor’s favorite kid - it was always touya. based on what we’ve seen, it looked like touya’s early training wasn’t forced, but born out of a genuine connection between touya and enji, an activity they both enjoyed. and rei commented on how touya’s personality was like enji’s, his stubbornness and his drive. and, of course, touya immediately latches on to the idea of being a hero to surpass all might. and listen, i would sell horikoshi my soul to get the backstory on where enji developed that obsession/goal, but whether it’s something that was imposed on him by someone else he cared about/internalized (like a parent displaced by all might, or a mentor, or idk) or just a goal that turned toxic after years of constantly falling short and feeling like you’re never good enough (like, oikawa @ kageyama but without an iwa-chan to pull him back from the edge), it’s fuckin toxic. but whatever, imagine it’s something you and your kid share, and it’s a bonding activity, and then you learn it’s hurting your kid. this dream you put into his head is causing him serious pain. we can make noise about how touya was like izuku and needed to hear he could be a hero too, but it’s also totally understandable, when your child is in pain, to want to make that pain stop and keep your child from getting hurt. it’s also understandable, but not excusable, to not know how to relate to your child when one of your primary shared values and goals (being a hero, hero training, etc) can’t really serve that purpose anymore. less understandable but still ~maybe understandable to have another kid (listen, my thoughts on this are either 1) the reason enji holds the goal is external, like he feels like it owes it to someone else, and well meaning but bad parents often give their children what they wanted as children, not what their children need, i.e. enji would’ve liked for someone else to shoulder the burden and so that’s what he’s giving touya, or 2) the rationale was that enji was okay with not achieving the goal as long as his family did, so he thought touya would be the same). and then when touya lashes out at shouto, the reactions are, again, not excusable but understandable. from enji’s perspective, his whole mindset and value system has given touya pain, he doesn’t know how to give touya good things, it always seems to hurt him, so he’ll withdraw from touya. keeping shouto isolated and training him so hard feels both like an obviously wrong but at least understandable way to trying to protect shouto from touya while not isolating touya further, but also to me like an exercise in punishment, of shouto as a sort of misdirected scapegoat enji on some level blames for the deterioration of things with touya, and ultimately punishment for himself because he knows he’s really at fault (self punishment because i think the manga shows that endeavor values the idea of family a lot, even if his execution is abysmal, and so the isolation from the rest of the family feels a little bit like self flagellation). understandable for enji to get mad at rei for letting touya wander off and get burned (because he’s like 12 and also seriously injuring himself, this is kind of mothering 101). and when touya “dies””, totally understandable for that to cause a huge rift in enji and rei’s relationship, for them to blame each other. never excusable for that to escalate to violence, but damn did these people need therapy. the monumental grief of feeling responsible for your child’s death??? that’s difficult for even the most emotionally well adjusted people to manage healthily. and like, obviously there were other options, but i’ll go out here and say it is both understandable and totally excusable to have rei institutionalized after she burned shouto. her level of psychosis was a danger to her children and possibly herself. (now in an ideal world the fact that enji was also a danger to the children would have been addressed by institutions but like, we’re talking people and their choices here, not systemic change). but basically, endeavor made a lot of really bad calls but at the time, with the information he had, if we’re compassionate and empathetic about it, all of those decisions are at least understandable on some level

but at the same time, SO ARE A LOT OF TOUYA’S. like, kids want to please their parents. he loved and looked up to his father and he wanted to be like him and do the things his father wanted. understandable goal. and understandable for him to want to continue training after hurting himself too. i’m sure he felt like doing otherwise would be proving he was weak or a disappointment in some way to his father, especially since hero/quirk training seemed to be their thing. understandable that he would feel angry and frustrated when his relationship with his dad suffers, in his mind proving his fears about losing his dad if he can’t be a hero to surpass all might. and totally not excusable but also totally understandable for a confused, rage-filled preteen to lash out at a new sibling who feels like a replacement. and the separation of shouto and enji from the rest of the family served to reinforce that idea too. it’s also understandable to me for touya to have a lot of blame for rei. she doesn’t stick up for touya with enji, or, really, that we’ve seen, make much of an effort to connect with him and give him an alternate outlet for the ambition and drive he had channeled into being a hero. after the fire, we have a lot of missing pieces in terms of how he survived, what happened, etc, but i also think it’s understandable for him to morph his personal anger into an anger at hero society, not least because heroes, for the rest of society, like parents for their children, are held up as paragons. it’s a connection that is wrong for a lot of reasons but feels right, because i think that dabi has the same misunderstanding of both his parents and hero society. for both, his idea is that if they’re not perfect, if they’ve failed in some way, they’re rotten at the core, instead of both heroes and parents just being people who can make mistakes. those mistakes can have horrendous consequences that they should be held accountable for, but that can coexist with a lot of good. 

rei is treated a lot as a totally blameless victim, and while she’s obviously a victim of enji’s abuse, she also made a lot of bad calls that were inexcusable but also understandable. agreeing to a quirk marriage that she wouldn’t be happy in in order to help her family is understandable. she took the same approach as enji in terms of touya’s quirk, and let him set the tone for how to deal with the issue. it’s understandable, because enji was closer to touya and as she pointed out their personalities are similar, but it was also a bad call, and one she held to even when it clearly wasn’t working. my read of the manga is that rei withdrew even further after touya’s “death”, which is again understandable as she was dealing with her grief and the emergence of enji’s abuse, but also meant she failed the rest of her children. 

and shouto, of course, is kind of born into a family and a life that’s already been shaped and then totally wrecked by circumstances beyond his control - first, touya’s quirk hurting his body, and then, touya’s death. and the whole while, he doesn’t even have the knowledge and context to understand why his family is the way that he is. 

basically, everyone in this family makes me Sad, i don’t think any of them are pure evil fundamentally bad, irredeemable people - even though enji abused his wife and kids, even though touya went on to kill people. 

[stillness-in-green]

The MLA(/PLF) Headcanon Post (1/2)

In response to this nice ask about whether I have any headcanon or thoughts about the current members of the MLA/PLF, I spent two weeks blithering 16.5K words of exactly that into a Word file, because when it comes to underappreciated characters I love, I do not understand restraint.  This post and its follow-up will cover all ranked ex-MLA members of the PLF, as well as Original Flavor Destro and Curious, since I wasn't going to leave them out of a project like this even if they aren't "current."

The ask only mentioned having previously read The Lore Post, the last exercise in ridiculousness that I wrote at the tail end of MLA Week, so I wrote this to summarize everything that doesn't appear there—which is to say that a lot of the material in these two posts will look familiar to anyone who's read my fanfic about the MLA cast.  There’s still plenty of new material to go around too, though!

So, I don't have much in the vein of askblog-style headcanons where I can randomly tell you stray trivia about a character’s favorite foods or their love languages or what have you; that stuff either comes up when I'm writing fanfic or it doesn't.  That said, below, please find a mix of thoughts I keep in mind when writing characters, facts that have only turned up in my fanfic/notes so far and not the Lore Post meta, and a selection of lightning round headcanon provided by cross-referencing a random number generator with some old questionnaires I keep around for OCs and tabletop characters.

In this post: Destro, Re-Destro and his advisors, and Geten.

Destro— 

General Thoughts The whole "revolutionary leader" thing came very naturally to him. He was committed, charismatic, very willing to risk his life and safety for the cause, and he cared about his people. All that said, he absolutely had a pompous, prideful streak, especially where it came to his justification for terrorism.  You only have to read his own words to see that.  Still, he was in large part reacting to the world he lived in, one of greater violence and danger than the current day. 

I like to think that—because he was genuine in wanting freedom for all—he would not approve of what became of his Army.  He'd be able to see how they got there, and he would probably have made much the same choices if he'd been there with them, but while he would have agreed that his role should be remembered—that's just Due Credit—he would never have wanted to become the nigh-on religious figure his followers turned him into. Continuing to fight the good fight for his ideals is one thing, but secret salutes and isolated villages and being raised from infancy to know your life has only as much worth as it can contribute to Liberation…  Well, it's just not what he would have wanted for his people, much less his descendants. 

Family Situation Chikara was only around 7 when his mother was killed, the event that would shape the rest of his life.  He wasn't hiding in the closet from the mob, either; he was kicking and punching and biting, his motivation to save her overflowing—but he was still only 7, and eventually overwhelmed.  His own life might well have ended there with hers, but for a group of neighborhood vigilante types (at least one of whom probably went on to a career as a hero, after legalization).

He went most of his adolescence without getting involved with anything more sinister than student newspapers, founding a secret meta-rights "club," and attending the odd larger protest, but when the government started talking about passing laws restricting the use of meta-abilities, he started getting very radical very quickly, and when some absolute snake started to use his martyred mother's words to bang the drum for banning quirk use outside the home outright, he went off the deep end.

Lightning Round (Randomly Selected Headcanons)

Favorite book genre?  Memoirs and biographies—he wouldn't have written his own if he didn't appreciate their value.  The intimacy of the personal juxtaposed against the broad scope of history appeals to both his regard for individuality and his revolutionary mindset.

Most prized possession?  Thoughts on material possessions in general?   He doesn’t generally prize material possessions—in fact, he’s something of a skinflint.  His most prized possession is an old pair of gloves that belonged to his mother, which he'd been wearing at the time of her murder.  He didn't come from money to begin with, but his mother’s story made enough of a splash that his financial situation was improved by well-meaning sorts sending along donations and contributions and the like, as well as government officials knowing they needed to be sure that he wound up somewhere at least semi-reasonable lest they court further outrage by mishandling the son of a martyred woman.  The money all went towards school and living expenses, though, leaving him quite experienced at balancing a budget, which would come in handy for that whole ‘leading a violent uprising against the state’ thing later on.

Academic Background: Got all the way through college!  Was involved in student groups as far back as middle school, and only got moreso the further in school he got.  Majored in Human Development; he was intending to go into the public health and policy sphere before the appropriation of his mother's language pissed him off so much he got into terrorism instead.

THE MODERN MLA

Re-Destro—

General Thoughts A huge amount of the way I write him is influenced by one single thing—his characterization as described in the second data book.  His personality is summed up there as "sokoshirenai yami"—bottomless darkness, or, as a friend translated it for me, "unfathomable gloominess."  That really, really stuck with me, because on the one hand, it's so opposed to virtually all of what we see of him on the page, where he's being cheerful or scornful or sycophantic; the closest he ever gets are his brief tears for Miyashita, Curious, and his other followers.

On the other hand, it makes so much sense that the man we see—the man who talks about the heavy burdens of his legacy, who was handed that legacy when he couldn't possibly have been any older than 6 or so, who willingly straps on a self-designed torture device to wring out more power, who all but worships the ground Shigaraki walks on even though Shigaraki is the reason Re-Destro no longer has legs to walk that same ground with—should be "unfathomably gloomy."  Of course he's gloomy!  He was never allowed to be his own person!  He has never in his life known true freedom, only existed as a vessel to bring that freedom to others!  And he can't really even talk to his closest friends about it, because his closest friends are still his followers, and he wouldn't want to weigh them down!

With that context, it makes all the sense in the world that he'd be so devoted to the man who relieved him of that burden.

Family Situation He loved his mother Yukie a great deal, despite knowing from early on that he was carrying the weight of the title because she believed she couldn’t.  (Perhaps growing up hearing about the martyrdom of Destro’s mother left him wanting to ensure the happiness of his own, for her happiness was very rare.)  He was 10 when she was killed in a Villain attack; she’d been on a daytrip over to a neighboring city to visit some of her erstwhile school friends.  The requisite mourning period was 49 days, and as the only surviving family member, quite a lot fell to him even before considerations of his role as Re-Destro.  it was perceived as better—for both the Army’s morale and for his own stability—for him to be involved with as much of the work of transition as possible, but obviously he couldn’t do it completely alone, nor should he.  Thus, for two months after Yukie’s death, the previous generation's Sanctum[i] stayed with him in his family home. Afterward, he moved in with Anchor (one of his grandfather's advisors), where he would spend the rest of his young adulthood until moving away for college.

Claustrophobia The name of that literal-iron-maiden deathtrap he brings to bear against Shigaraki is no coincidence: Rikiya developed claustrophobia over the course of a stint of abusive training when he was thirteen. He generally has a pretty good handle on disguising it, thanks to a combination of people being unwilling to ask him questions they don’t actually want the answers to and the fact that he had to learn how to operate through it in order to complete the training at all. He has never told anyone, largely because he’s never been able to recognize that it was abuse, and so his abuser remains a figure of some influence.

Education He was largely taught by private tutors, in his home and in theirs, rather than attending school, but I think he probably wasn't completely home-schooled.  Particularly once he'd decided that he did want to attend university—and not just some little local technical program, but a major school in a proper city—he probably attended classes a few times a week at his local high school just to get a feel for being around other people his own age. He'd been friends with Koku for several years by that point, otherwise he probably would have been pretty hopeless, but he was still a pretty odd duck by the time he got to university.

This, incidentally, is why he never pushed Geten too hard about school—his own experience of it was so weird and piecemeal that he mostly thinks of school as relevant only for the education it provides, and less so the crash course in social dynamics.  Since Geten doesn't care about getting an education (nor, indeed, about learning how not to be a rude little troll), and has a strong enough quirk that he'll never lack for a position in the Army even without a formal education, Rikiya is perfectly happy to let Geten have his way and just be minimally learnèd.

Stress His powers operate by infusing his body with the characteristic black matter of his manifested stress; he can increase his size with this (his so-called Liberated Form isn't just armored up; he becomes physically taller and bulkier), as well as throw handfuls of the materialized power.  A side effect of this is that his stress can also infuse itself into his bodily fluids. The stress matter is a highly dense particulate, so if Rikiya is not in proper control of himself, his proverbial blood, sweat and tears can be literally heavy with the weight of his power.

The Value of Life He cares very much about the lives of his followers, but those genuine feelings are filtered through both the mental compartmentalization required by an emotion-based quirk, and an upbringing that taught him to care about his underlings in the same way one would rare goods.  Valuable goods, certainly, goods worth being proud of, goods to be maintained with care, but still, ultimately, things that can be sold or traded or bartered off as necessary to further one's goals.  Even his own life, while "objectively" the most valuable of them all, isn't an exception to that policy—the Great Cause is more important than any individual life, up to and including his own.

On a Personal Note He’s something of an obvious weirdo to outsiders—his enthusiasm comes off as strident, his smiles overly polished—but despite that, he's bizarrely hard to dislike once they start spending real time with him.  He's not anywhere near as prideful about himself as he is the legacy of the MLA, for a start; he's actually pretty self-deprecating when he's not performing the whole Heir of Destro's Great Bloodline routine at people.  He's also happy to go along with other people sharing their hobbies (because he doesn't have any of his own).  The more you get to know him, the more obvious it becomes that he's a total basket case, but “total basket case” is still an improvement over “self-absorbed 1%-er CEO” that people like Spinner come in expecting.

What Are Boundaries? He has very little understanding of how to enforce boundaries around his private life, or, indeed, of why such boundaries might ever be necessary.  Oh, he can do the double life thing, keep the CEO of Detnerat separate from the Grand Commander of the Metahuman Liberation Army, but when it comes to the MLA itself, he's so groomed to devote himself to the cause that he doesn't really distinguish between the responsibilities of Re-Destro and the needs of Yotsubashi Rikiya.  Rather than being the egomaniac you might expect of a man with the absolute power over others he has, he instead struggles to assert himself as his own person at all.

Issues with boundaries are not uncommon with the MLA—they're all raised to see themselves as warriors to advance the cause before they are, like, “human beings”—but Rikiya’s are particularly exacerbated because he was raised by adults who were getting pretty paranoid about his bloodline's tendency to die young, and thus were always checking in on how he was doing, dictating his schedule, weighing in on his plans, and so on.  He just wasn’t raised with reasonable expectations for privacy.  Even as an adult, he'll give his apartment door code to pretty much anyone in the MLA who has even a semi-plausible reason to want it—certainly quite a few of the elders know it!  And it isn’t only the elders, either; Rikiya's phone and several of his accessories carry tracking chips courtesy of Skeptic, which Rikiya knows about and doesn't think is at all untoward.

While his experience dating Koku definitely taught him some hard lessons about how much he could allow himself to ask of people who would obey him without question (they broke up over Rikiya’s realization that Koku would never deny him anything, thanks to a cracked rib Koku didn’t see fit to tell Rikiya about until Rikiya hugged him a little too hard), he never learned how to value his own autonomy in turn.  Oh, he's the Grand Commander, and everyone around him has been raised to venerate his bloodline, so most of them would never even think about trying to take advantage of him as such, but it's absolutely the case that people who are bold or familiar enough to try can basically run right over him with minimal efforts made at obscuring the fact.  His life is full of people who do and have done exactly that, some to a net positive effect, and some—well.  See again the entry about his claustrophobia.

The abjectly terrible state of his sense of self-worth is also the reason the Claustro exists.  While he was relatively capable of trying to work around his phobia when he was younger, the older he got, the more it started to feel like leaving doors cracked behind him or only working in offices with big spacious floor plans and oversized windows was, in some way, Letting Down The Cause by allowing his fear to control him, rather than embracing it so he could properly stockpile it for later use.  A dinnertime chat with Curious about turning one’s trauma into a weapon for the good of others catalyzed this, leading to the development of the “burden-enhancing steel pressure mechanism,” Claustro. 

(It also means the clone of him made by Twice to handle Detnerat after Deika is bizarrely okay with its circumstances, which I will almost certainly write more about one of these days, but I’m still kind of reeling from that reveal, so more on that another time.)

Lightning Round

Religion?   He doesn't identify as being of a religious faith, but he was brought up in the same peaceful marriage of Shinto and Buddhism that the majority of Japanese people are, and like many, he adheres to a number of traditional practices more out of habit than devout faith.  There are two celebrations that demand significant emotional investment from him.  First comes the New Year's celebrations, important because the MLA prides itself on looking to a brighter, freer future, and it's a period when he can let himself think that maybe he'll be just that little bit closer to Liberation by the end of the year than he was at the start.  Second is Obon, a summer festival for honoring one's departed ancestors. Since his authority and his life's work derive entirely from his bloodline, he's obligated to care about this one, though in practice, he tends to shy away from thinking much about Destro (who he has very twisted-up feelings about indeed) in favor of less emotionally fraught waters.

What did he dream of being or doing as a child? Did that dream come true?   He never really had a significant period where he thought about being e.g. an astronaut or a doctor or a hero; in fact, it came as something of a surprise to him the first time Koku asked him what he was planning to do when he grew up.  He always just had the nebulous expectation of, "Be the Grand Commander," and the elders were happy to leave it at that until he brought it up on his own.[ii]  

How does he behave around children? He likes kids!  He’s wistful about the freedom enjoyed by happy children while also being sympathetic to ones that seem overly burdened.  He’s not the most natural person in the world with them, but most of them can tell that the awkwardness comes from a well-intentioned place, and will treat him as a funny-looking man who’ll let them bother him at length without getting mean.  It turns out he’s actually pretty good with them, then, if only by virtue of being easily bullied.  (This, notably, goes for non-MLA-affiliated children.  Everything’s much more formal within the cult, though it didn’t Geten long to suss out the “easily-bullied” part, either.)

Trumpet—

General Thoughts The largest factor in how I write Koku is, of course, the headcanon that he and Rikiya are ex-lovers, and neither of them is 100% over it even all these years later.  Beyond that, though, Koku is the most temperate of the group, the one with the most easy charisma (MLA members are more swayed by Re-Destro, but Koku does better with outsiders who aren't predisposed to hanging on Rikiya's every word).  He strives to come off as The Sensible One, and given the extremes the rest of the inner circle are capable of, it's not hard for him to maintain that title.  He's as messed up as any of them, though, second only to Rikiya in levels of childhood grooming.  He thinks of himself as a practical man, but he is deeply indoctrinated, the boundaries of his expectations very much defined by his upbringing, so he never really sees it coming when he gets clobbered by something from out of left field.

Family Situation: Koku has the largest family of the identified members.  Aside from his grandfather (called Old Man Hanabata, the founder of the Hearts & Minds Party, and passed away by the canon era), Koku has cousins, nieces, nephews and more, courtesy of his uncle, his older sister and her husband, and other extended family.

He’s also the member most accustomed to wealth, power and influence.  He's from a rural area, certainly, but being in a family of hereditary politicians (and with that family not suffering a string of untimely deaths and disappearances like Rikiya's did), he was raised from the start with ready access to money and nice things.  Still, for all his family's sway in a major branch of the MLA's operations, they're not First Families, and thus don't have any elders in their ranks, making them still somewhat subordinate to said elders when it comes to orders about the Great Cause.  (He’s working on it.)

Meeting Re-Destro Koku and Rikiya met at 12 and 10 respectively, when Koku tagged along with Old Man Hanabata for a meeting RD was likewise accompanying Anchor for.  It had been the better part of a year since Rikiya's mother passed away, but he was still strikingly melancholy for a boy that age, which—along with all the weight given to the importance of the meeting—left quite an impression on Koku.  Koku thus became Rikiya's first real friend in his own age group, a friendship heartily encouraged by everyone around them.  Koku was well-behaved, intelligent, a little older but not too much so, and set to become influential without a danger of becoming too influential; he was seen as a good choice for a friend.[iii]

The Break-Up Painful as it was at the time, there was a silver lining to his and RD's post-college break-up: it got Koku out of the elders' pocket.  He’s been groomed for one thing or another all his life, but after he became friends with Rikiya, he was always getting leaned on to report back to the First Families about how Re-Destro was doing, and to try to influence him towards actions the First Families approved of.  In a very real sense, Koku was part of the apparatus keeping Rikiya from any real freedom.  Their break-up and subsequent estrangement meant that the elders had far less to breathe down Koku's neck about, and by the time they reconciled, Trumpet had gotten his feet under him, as had Re-Destro, and they were both better able to fend off such background meddling.

This doesn't mean Trumpet's not still carrying a torch, however.  He thought he was handling his long-banked feelings pretty well—being Professional, being the advisor Re-Destro needed and as much a friend as Rikiya would allow—right up until Rikiya scared the life out of him by nearly dying in Deika.  He's all but glued himself to Rikiya since, as much as he can get away with given their respective responsibilities.

As an Advisor Other than leading the HMP, he does some work with internal politics and reputation. It's not, strictly speaking, his actual job as advisor—Re-Destro or the elders would probably be sought for more formal or critical mediations—but he and the people who report directly to him do enough travelling around to see constituents that they're often in a position to field those tensions before they get big enough to require attention from higher up.  Koku's happy to do so, in fact—not because he just loves handling petty arguments about resources, but because the HMP is a faction of the MLA in and of itself, and mediating is a boost to that faction's standing and autonomy.  (Also, it's that much less on Rikiya's ever-overburdened plate.)

Lightning Round

What would he do if he needed to make dinner but the kitchen was busy?Ahahahahaha, “make dinner but the kitchen was busy,” please.  Any time there could feasibly be someone else occupying a kitchen he has any business being in himself, it would be a housekeeper, and s/he would be making food for him/his family.  It’s not as though Trumpet has never cooked—he did live alone for some years after school—but outside of a scant few years in university, there’s never really been a time that kitchen use overlap would have been a problem for him. 

Favorite indulgence and feelings surrounding indulging. Probably gourmet cuisine, especially imported stuff. He’s had tailored clothes all his life; they’re just part of the job.  Expensive alcohol also doesn’t wow him; it wouldn’t be strange to find some sake maker whose family has been doing it for sixteen generations in the village he grew up in.  It’s a lot harder to cultivate a true gourmand’s palate out in the sticks, though, no matter how rich your family is.  Living in actual civilization affords a great deal more variety—and anyway, nice dinners are one of the few things he can reliably tempt Rikiya into accepting.  As to his feelings about indulging in general, he’s broadly For It.  He works very hard, he seldom gets real time off, and it doesn’t help the Great Cause for him to deny himself nice things, unlike some people.  (He’s maybe a bit bitter.)

Does he like to be the center of attention all of the time? Not especially.  Oh, he’s very good at it, certainly, and he doesn’t dislike it, but being the center of attention is practically always going to be tied up in The Great Work, so he desperately needs to get out of the spotlight from time to time, if only to be able to turn off the persona.

Curious—

General Thoughts There are two main factors in how I write Chitose: her practicality and her rapaciousness.  I write her as having an appreciation for good moral character in other people, especially when it makes a good story, but not considering herself particularly bound by conventional morality: her moral compass is Liberation, and she follows it unswervingly.  I also write her as predatory, lusty about a lot of things, often to the point of overstepping.  It doesn't hurt anyone that she likes hearty foods and strong alcohol, but she also doesn't have much regard for peoples' boundaries, and even less so when she thinks they have something to offer the Great Cause.

While that trait isn't without its benefits, it can get pretty ugly, too, as we see in how she treats, and talks to, Toga.  Even with Rikiya, the only person she thinks of as 'above' her in any meaningful sense, she's not at all above manipulation.  She's respectful of him, but knows him too well to always take him at his word.  He plainly can't always see what's best for him, but what's best for him is best for Liberation, and therefore, as a Liberation warrior, it's her responsibility to sometimes make decisions for him.  He'll appreciate it in the long run—he always does.  (Skeptic and Geten have similar views—Rikiya makes it easy.)

Family Situation She probably has the best actual relationship with her family of the group—her mothers are removed enough from the heart of MLA politics that her relationship with Rikiya doesn't color her family life the way Koku's does his, and she's much more sociable than Skeptic or Geten.  She doesn't get home much—just the major holidays, work permitting—but she's in frequent enough communication for a grown woman, and chats with her younger sister more often than that.

Meeting Re-Destro She met Rikiya properly when they were 21 and 27 respectively.  They were living in the same city at the time (him running Detnerat, her in university), so of course she'd seen him at the odd MLA event he turned up at, but when she landed an internship in her junior year, she cheekily turned up one day in her reporter capacity to interview him as “a local rising star of industry.”  It was the first chance they'd had to talk one-on-one, and would not be the last, as she frankly elbowed her way into his life and gradually sussed out that here was a man with Problems.  He and Koku were still in a distant patch at the time; she is largely responsible for getting them back on friendly terms as a way of showing her Pure Intentions.

The fact that her Pure Intentions both land her a square position as one of RD's advisors herself and get Rikiya to a better place emotionally is calculated, but not, therefore, untrue.  Ironically, while she was concerned about looking like a gold-digger, the MLA elders were probably thrilled and relieved to hear rumors that Rikiya was getting romantically involved again.  And with a lovely young MLA woman!  They wouldn't even need to worry about surrogacy arrangements!  (Not having grown up around the Yotsubashis, Chitose is unaware of exactly how pointed an interest the elders take in the matter of securing that bloodline.)

Feelings Today She loves Rikiya dearly, and prizes his regard more highly than anything in her life, but has not devoted much thought to the idea of being in love with him. She's married to her work, as they say, but she's also keenly aware that Rikiya would, for a great many reasons, be a lot of work to be in love with.  She's decided it's generally better for his mental well-being, and therefore also better for the Great Cause (she’s much more capable of reading that relationship reciprocally than Rikiya is), to make sure he's eating at least one good meal a week and getting some proper socialization in outside of MLA meet-and-greets.

As an Advisor She handles external politics and reputation--it's her job to prime Japan culturally for the Liberation agenda in ways more wide-reaching than Trumpet (he's head of a political party, and that's not nothing, but that party is still a small minority on the floor of the Diet).  She pulls attention to stories that benefit the MLA, and diverts attention from stories that don't.  This is far broader than just publishing Destro's memoir; it also means poking holes in the broader Hero Society narrative.  She does this by providing as broad a platform possible for stories about the tragedies of excessive regulation, the evils of quirk-related bias, the abuses of power heroes are capable of, and so on.

Lightning Round

Does she remember names or faces easier? She’s quite good with both, actually, but I’d give names the advantage because she works primarily with written rather than visual mediums.  (Also, BNHA names being the ridiculous puns that they are, you can probably tell more about a person in HeroAca Land by analyzing their name than their face anyway.) 

Is she more concerned with defending her honor, or protecting her status? Her status, absolutely.  Impugning her honor hurts no one but her; she can laugh that off because honor is a silly social construct anyway.  Threatening her status is a much more dangerous prospect—her status is long-cultivated to enable the advancement of Liberation ideology; it lets her keep an eye on Re-Destro, who needs as many people looking out for him as he can get; it’s what she’s worked for all her life. Curious will fuck you up if you threaten her status.

In what situation was she the most afraid she’d ever been? The time she got in trouble for nearly exploding some dude’s face off for stealing her purse.  She was 17, had spent very little time in non-Liberated territory before, and was not raised to wait on heroes to solve her problems.  She wasn’t afraid of the thief or the hero, really, but she was completely terrified that she might have just blown over half a century of secrecy by not performing Helpless Civilian well enough. The terror was pretty convincing to the police interviewing her about it, anyway.  On the whole, it was a very valuable learning experience!  

Skeptic—

General Thoughts Tomoyasu is a character I haven't written extensively yet, but what I think is most interesting about him so far is the contrast of his hyper-modern methods with the bone-deep zealotry for the cause.  See, Rikiya, Koku and Chitose all grew up in the sticks; Rikiya and Koku had money from a young age, but it was old money, tied up in trusts.  (Geten didn't have any of those, but Geten's a different story for other reasons.)  Tomoyasu grew up in a major city from the start; he was a technological prodigy from practically as soon as he could hold a tablet.  He has very little respect for the old ways of doing things when he knows there are newer, better ways of advancing the Cause. However, none of that makes him more likely to break from the MLA's ranks—if anything, his idiosyncratic approach just causes him to approach Liberation in really weird ways, ways no one else would ever come up with.

Pressganging Bubaigawara Jin based on a plan to clone Re-Destro?  Who else would that ever even occur to, much less such that it became the basis for an elaborate psychological assault?  But that's Skeptic in a nutshell—respect the old for what it did at the time, but don't think that means you have to use the same methods they did forever as you pick up the torch to carry it forward.

Family Situation He has an amicable but not intimate relationship with his family.  His parents are very proud of what he's done for the cause and how he won the confidence of Re-Destro, but they don't make much claim to understand how his mind works.  In turn, he recognizes the value of their support over the years—he certainly made a lot of waves with his unabashed venom for the MLA leadership's hidebound traditionalism, and his parents' staunch backing meant a lot for him being able to take the stands he did—but is not very emotionally close with them.  Might find himself with an older brother, if I ever occasion to write about his family situation in more depth.

Education He graduated a four-year university program for getting his computer science degree in two very intense years, during which he did virtually nothing for the Great Cause, his intention being to better position himself for maximum ability to advance Liberation afterward.  See above re: battles his parents fought for him while he was busy modernizing.

Meeting Re-Destro He met Re-Destro via Curious.  He was 22, just a year out of university and already climbing the chain of command at a young telecommunications company.  Rikiya was 33, working on the Claustro, and needed proprietary comms built to a higher standard of security than Detnerat was focused on.  Curious, who was always better positioned to be keeping up with the local personalities, introduced them.

Tomoyasu attempted to keep a civil tongue in his head the first few times he and RD met, but he'd been running on bile and energy drinks for years by that point and was hard-pressed to stop just because he was meeting his Grand Commander.  If anything, finding out that Rikiya was okay with his direction and his mouth eventually helped him chill the fuck out, marginally.

On that note, Skeptic is absolutely the advisor most willing to backtalk Rikiya right to his face.  (Rikiya loves him for it.)  Oh, he'll still accede to Rikiya's wishes, and Re-Destro's orders are his highest priority, but that doesn't mean he feels obligated to be diffident about it.  Like Curious, he has a highly developed sense of, "It's fine if it's for the greater good," which will and has led to him taking things into his own hands when he thinks he knows best (which is always).  He's not going to explicitly disobey orders, but he will creatively interpret them if he feels strongly about them, and he will try to "anticipate" orders before anyone has time to give him specific ones, the better to tailor his efforts towards proving his methods and goals correct rather than being stuck with orders he hates.

On Names I’ve definitely evolved some in my approach on this since I started writing the MLA cast, but at current, Skeptic and Geten are the only ones I consistently write as using and thinking mainly in terms of code names rather than given names.  Trumpet is too familiar with the public/private divide, and has too much intimate history with Rikya-the-person, to default to Re-Destro; Curious is too trained to look for The Human Heart of the Story.  Re-Destro himself, ever since breaking up with Koku, has always tried to use code names for people (himself excluded, because he has enormous self-confidence issues about measuring himself up to the original Destro), but can slip into given names when he’s vulnerable.  To Skeptic and Geten, though, the code name is the real name, for all intents and purposes.  The cover identity is a fake; the whole point of the code name is that you’re proving yourself worthy of taking up your proper place in the Army.  Of course the name you win for yourself is the name that counts.

Lightning Round

Given a blank piece of paper, a pencil, and nothing to do, what would happen? You’d pretty much have to lock him in a room with nothing but paper and pencil in it for that to be his first resort rather than whatever item of personal electronics he’d otherwise have on his person.  But assuming some actual plausible scenario—couldn’t bring his electronics into a government building, let’s say—he would find trying to do something productive on paper and pencil rather beneath him, and he’s an inveterate fidgeter.  I mostly see him folding that ludicrously tall frame of his into a chair and setting to using the pencil to poke about three hundred holes in the sheet of paper, meticulous and orderly, while muttering complaints to himself the whole time until something annoys him a bit too much and he jabs the whole pencil through the page. 

Who does he see as his best friend?  His worst enemy? I headcanon him having a very reasonable, functional, productive relationship with his No. 1 advisor, Red, and being reasonable, functional, and productive probably goes a lot farther on making you Skeptic’s “friend” than any amount of emotional intimacy.  But “best friend” is not really the kind of language Skeptic uses for his relationships; if you were to ask him who his best friend is, he’d probably tell you, “Iced coffee.”  As to his worst enemy, that’s just whoever is annoying him most on any given day, from difficult clients, to people annoying Re-Destro, stodgy elders, that hero grinning like a tool, that couple walking too slow in front of him on the sidewalk, etc. And Skeptic is pretty proactive about dealing with enemies, as much as he can be.

Has he ever been bitten by an animal? How was he affected (or unaffected)? lol he is a city boy and always has been.  He probably tried to pet a stray cat once out of curiosity, and because it seemed like the sort of thing people did, and then has never forgiven Animals In General when it bit him and then ran off. 

Geten—

General Thoughts Another one I haven’t written a great deal about yet, particularly in the present day, though I’m looking for that to change soonish.  One thing I’d like to explore is Geten when he’s not seething with rage and shame because he failed to bring Re-Destro a victory in Deika. The fandom tends to write Geten as an always-angry attack dog barely contained beneath a chilly veneer, and that’s fair—ever since we got the face reveal, ever since the MLA’s defeat at Shigaraki’s hands, Geten has been an always-angry attack dog barely contained beneath a chilly veneer.

But if you look at Geten from before we knew what was under the hood, you find a different story.  “Chilly and angry all the time” is not at all how he acted when he was fighting Dabi!  At that point, he was talkative, even chatty.  He engaged in a lot of snide smack-talk; he was obviously confident in himself and he spoke very proudly of the MLA as a collective.

He was still quiet at the dinner he attended with Rikiya and his advisors, yes, so I don’t think Geten’s done some kind of full 180 on characterization.  I do, however, think that Geten has a sense of humor in there, has a sense of camaraderie with the MLA rooted in more than just his relationship with Re-Destro, even if Re-Destro is obviously his most important person.  I don’t know if we’ll ever see that in the manga proper, given everything that’s happened, but it’s worth remembering in terms of what Geten is like when he’s solely among allies.

Family Situation Orphaned at a young age, and a problem child from then on.  He passed through a series of foster parents and state facilities before eventually crossing paths with the leader of the local MLA branch in Kesseru, Beacon (more on him next time).  This encounter would lead to him being sent to a group home with a reputation for being good with such difficult cases, giving them Structure and Companionship and Meaningful Work.  (Spoilers: It’s Liberation.)

Despite evening out considerably after a significant meeting with Re-Destro when he was 7[iv], Geten never got particularly close to his adopted family/the other kids at the group home.  He's very favored by the Grand Commander, for one thing, and he has the strongest quirk in the home for another—and since he learned the quirk supremacist stuff from them, that’s a pretty significant part of the dynamic!  Both of these factors mean there's some distance between him and the rest. Still, he's not on bad terms with them—indeed, his foster parents are quite proud of him—and he would probably tear out someone's throat with his teeth for threatening them, if only as a matter of pride.  

There are 4-6 other kids there at any given time; for the bulk of his young adulthood, there were two older than him, the others younger.  He doesn't have much time for Big Brother Pastimes, but is not completely immune to them, either, particularly where the youngest kids are concerned.  His tolerance for Little Brother Antics, however, is nonexistent—if the older kids think they can ruffle his hair and treat him like a kid, they can square the fuck up; he is Number One around here and don’t forget it.

Education Geten never went to school, but he's not completely uneducated.  He had some tutoring in the group home, some more from Re-Destro personally, and has a pile of books he keeps at his bedside, mostly strategic in nature.  He finds them vexing at times, but is slowly reading through them anyway because Re-Destro asked him to.  He’s been a bit more diligent about it since he was made a regiment leader, because lord knows Dabi isn't contributing much.

On Re-Destro Re-Destro became fond of Geten for the same reason he became fond of Skeptic and Curious—Geten was willing to push back.  He really did make some attempts early on to keep Geten at a proper distance, mindful of anything that would look too much like favoritism.  And Geten knew, in the hard-headed way of a child, that Re-Destro was being a grown-up about things, trying to be mature, trying to be impartial.  Geten just didn’t care about any of those things.  Every time, he would listen very seriously to the things Rikiya told him, nod attentively, repeat back what he’d been told, and then go on about doing his own thing anyway.  And his own thing was, typically, to keep coming back.

Of course, if there’s anything we can tell about Re-Destro from the way he treats Shigaraki, it’s that Re-Destro loves people who take the choice away from him.

Eventually, of course, Geten grew up (mostly; I peg him at 19 now), joined the MLA officially, and had to settle into the structure of the Army.  It began to lead to trouble for Re-Destro, when Geten blatantly disobeyed him; it stopped being cute.  Still, the sense that he Knows What’s Best lingers, so Geten works himself very, very hard to be everything Re-Destro needs him to be and more, so that maybe Re-Destro’s burden will be just that little bit lighter.

On Quirk Supremacy (and Re-Destro, still) Here’s the thing about Geten and the whole, “A life without a strong meta-ability has no value,” line, and this continues to drive me mad because of how people getting it wrong influences the bad takes on the MLA in this fandom: Geten is not a reliable witness.  He is not one of the leaders of the MLA, nor does he speak for its rank and file. Even if you assume the absolute worst about his implications there, far worse than is justified by the text, Geten’s very name, Apocrypha, means that he cannot be presumed to be aligned with MLA orthodoxy.

The only one of the people close to Re-Destro who wasn't born and raised MLA, he still manages to come off, in some ways, as the most zealous of the lot of them.  But really, it’s very noticeable that Geten—unlike Re-Destro himself, and unlike even Re-Destro’s close cohort—never talks about the original Destro, never even mentions him.  When he thinks about his leader, he only ever thinks about Rikiya.  Geten doesn’t follow Re-Destro because of his bloodline, because of the tenets; he follows Re-Destro because of personal loyalty.[v]

So how best to do that?  Well, think about it: Geten is not terribly intelligent, nor wealthy, nor well-connected. He and Trumpet are the ones most influenced by the quirk supremacist line of thought, Trumpet because his relatively weak quirk comes off as exponentially stronger the more he can surround himself in people it works on, and Geten because his strong quirk lets him mentally justify Re-Destro's investment in him despite his other insufficiencies.

Compare this with Re-Destro, who only ever talks about quirks in terms of freedom. Even more prominently, look at Skeptic and Curious, who are not at all defined by their quirks and how strong or weak said quirks may be.  Indeed, those two devote scarcely a thought to the matter because they contribute to the cause in much more important ways and seem to be perfectly comfortable with where that leaves them.

Geten may not be very smart or influential, but he’s very capable of looking at what strengths he does have and focusing hard on those.  That, I think, is what really lead to his embracing quirk supremacy, even in the face of evidence that he doesn’t have the whole picture: the search for a way to measure himself up to the movers and shakers Rikiya is otherwise surrounded with, and not come up drastically wanting.  

“Apocrypha” Geten has been Geten for a long time, since long before the MLA types usually take up their code names. He’s also an outlier in the MLA for having a name in Japanese instead of in English—the only one who does!  My headcanon, unless and until we get some other members with Japanese code names, is that he got the name directly from Re-Destro—possibly even in the conversation that lead to him imprinting so hard on the man when he was 7—and insisted on keeping it before any other code name that was suggested to him in later years.

But yes, he does have a normal Japanese name on file at the group home, which he’s obligated to answer to on the rare occasions that someone from Child Services is checking in or he and Re-Destro are out in public.  I don’t plan to bother coming up with it unless I need to, as I expect we’ll get it in a character profile one of these days.

His Quirk While a lot of people like the vibe of Geten and Dabi being somewhat equivalently vulnerable to their own quirks, and I agree it makes for good fanart, in truth, Geten is only as vulnerable to his ice as Endeavor is his flames.  Which is to say, he isn't immune, but he's certainly more resistant to it than the average person would be!  There’s already plenty of good material to contrast Dabi and Geten without pretending their quirks are more mirrored than is actually the case.

Lightning Round

How does he treat people in service jobs? He doesn’t, because he’s never in a position to interact with people in service jobs.  There have been times he’s gone out with Re-Destro, but in those cases he’s mostly let Re-Destro handle the human interaction.

What does he dislike in other people? Laziness; the lack of a higher purpose of some kind.  (It’s possible he’d thaw out on his disdain for Dabi considerably if he knew more about Dabi’s plans to undermine the whole of the Hero System than Dabi is inclined to tell him.)

Is he always there for a friend in need? Sure, as long as by “friend” you mean “fellow Liberation warrior” and by “need” you mean “in need of an icicle punched through one of someone else’s desperately fleshy body parts.”

Footnotes

[i]  Sanctum II's tastes being what they are, this probably means Rikiya is the MLA member most likely to be able to perform traditional Japanese tea ceremony.

[ii]  And there were elders who would have been happy to leave it at that permanently, I'm sure.  There are always going to be those regents who have trouble relinquishing power back to the boy prince when he grows up and becomes king, you know?

[iii]  And, when it eventually got out that they were dating, a relatively solid match, give or take the surrogacy arrangements that would eventually need to be made.

[iv]  I’m hoping canon gives us some details on this eventually, so I’m not planning to iron out more headcanon on the matter unless I absolutely have to.

[v]  This, incidentally, is a large part of why Rikiya does keep him around—it’s soothing to have someone around who never brings up his ancestor.  Anyway, after Geten evolved his quirk, people stopped complaining so much, even though RD never did get around to, like, giving Geten any formal responsibilities.  Geten, who knows very well that Re-Destro’s real advisors have real jobs, mostly took this as reason to be all the stronger, in hopes that he’d eventually be given one.

[madara-fate]

(1/7) hey madara-fate. i'm pretty new to naruto. i only got into it two years ago and have only finished the anime. but prior to watching it, i know about the canon couples and the ship wars, including the fact that sns is the most famous ship (at least from all the years i've been on the internet and what i've seen without actually knowing anything about naruto). but after watching the series myself and finally having the chance to form my own thoughts, it got me thinking. sns is without a doubt the two characters and the relationship that got the most development because the series is centered around them. and naruto itself is a story with friendship and familial bonds being one of the biggest focus. and the fact that sns is the reincarnation of two twin brothers, i guess that basically cements their bond more and more because it's kind of a belief in many cultures that twins have a more special bond with each other compared to others.

(2/7) so the point i'm sending this ask is to ask about your thoughts. it's something that i find, dare i say, a huge hypocrisy among the sns fandom. i happen to know that you're not biased and despite being a sasusaku shipper, you never shit on sns or their very deep bond with each other. you also seem to have very good grasp of the story and characters all while knowing the canon facts (unlike the majority of naruto fandom). so i guess i just want to know what you think. okay so hear me out. this is going to be really tl:dr 😅😅 so i'm sorry if i'm bothering you. you can ignore this ask if you want, it's fine. i also feel like letting this out to someone who actually understands the story and characters of naruto instead of just plain bias.

(3/7) i'm not one of those people who believe that sns is inc*st and anyone shipping them is supporting inc*st because yes they are reincarnated brothers, but both naruto and sasuke weren't blood related and raised in the same household or by the same family. so i do believe that there's really nothing weird or wrong about shipping them romantically if that's what people want. but i have to say (what I've been noticing so far, at least) that most of the reasons why these shippers love sns so much and claiming that this ship is the one that is most valid and should end up together and be canon are due to the fact that naruto and sasuke are reincarnated brothers.

(4/7) all the reasons and justifications that i've seen from sns stans on why sns is the ship that should be canon and why they're romantic and have better chemistry than the canon couples are mostly because of the fact that sasuke and naruto understand each other best. but isn't the reason why these understand each other best is because they're reincarnated brothers? like, the reason why they're so close and connected to each other and know each other's hearts so well without even the other having to verbally express it is because they're reincarnated brothers. yes, they are comrades who have spent time with each other and built a friendship, but their souls are connected to each other due to being reincarnated brothers, making them having a deeper bond with each other compared to others. i believe the same goes to madara and hashirama. they can't help but love and care for each other deeply because they're connected deep inside, as brothers.

(5/7) i think it's really funny that sns stans always *conveniently* forget this very important fact when discussing about their own reasons why they ship sns. and they always hate it when others try to bring it up—the fact that sasuke and naruto have this very strong and special bond that they do now is due to them being soul brothers. and i think it's very telling that they hate it when we say they're not romantic and can't ever be canon because of the plot itself that makes them reincarnated brothers. the shippers love to claim homophobia for the reasons why people don't ship sns or why it's not canon when in actuality, it can never work in narutoverse especially if we're following the canon plot of naruto and sasuke being the reincarnations of indra and ashura. but then, they will claim that if either sasuke or naruto were female, then they'd surely be canon and more people would ship it and feel the outrage about them not being canon. but here's my thought; if either sasuke or naruto were a female, then their relationship wouldn't be the same as it is now? the reincarnation wouldn't work if one of them were a female, so their dynamic and development would be different than the one we have now, which is what the shippers love so much about when it comes to this ship.

(6/7) it's really hypocritical that they dismiss and diminish every single interaction that naruto and sasuke have with their respective canon romantic partners because apparently neither hinata nor sakura have the same bond with their husbands that the two share with each other. but well the thing is, neither hinata nor sakura have the opportunity to become naruto and sasuke's reincarnated love partners, so of course it's not going to be the same. that still doesn't mean the canon romantic relationships are any less valid or worse than the relationship that sasuke and naruto have between each other.

(7/7) so yeah, like i said this is a veryyyy tl:dr from me 😅 i understand if you're exhausted from reading this and you don't feel like answering so just ignore if you don't. but if you can, what are your thoughts about this? is my interpretation of sasuke and naruto's relationship wrong? i personally really don't have a problem with people wanting to ship sns romantically. but the constant hate, insult, and mockery towards the actual canon couples (mostly ONLY on the female characters involved) just really annoy me, to say the least. it's been more than 6 years. i wish they would've learned to shut up already or found other healthy ways to cope instead of making fun of the canon ships or both sakura and hinata every single day. but i guess that's asking too much from people who make shipping sns and hating on naruhina and sasusaku their only personalities 😪 what do you think about this?

The ask is a little too long for me to respond properly to it, but I did read through all of it and I do definitely agree with what you're saying. Although, I do have to question how much of the understanding between Naruto and Sasuke is truly due to their being reincarnations of brothers. From what I saw, a considerable amount of the empathy between them was due to their lonely upbringing, and the burdens placed upon them by being a Jinchuuriki and the "last" Uchiha. Both of those aspects have nothing to do with their status as sibling reincarnations, so that's also something to consider.

So basically, from my perspective, with regards to trying to explain the reasons or origins of Naruto and Sasuke's bond, I certainly don't think that you're wrong per se. However, I do think that you're giving the reincarnation portion of it a little too much importance. It certainly contributed, but I don't think it is the main cause.